#not even gonna mention how the person couldnt be bothered to read over what they wrote because half of it is like. barely a sentence

[fox-on-the-moon]

trying to find any information about NPD is just. exclusively ableist shit with no basis and basically impossible to find something from, you know, someone who actually has NPD or something that just doesn’t demonize them.

like i just read ONE quora answer on someone who asked abt relationships with someone with NPD and it was so vile

i screenshotted some (it was like, half an essay) obviously massive cw for ableism, specifically against people with NPD (one mention of addiction too) under the cut. literally disgusting ableist shit

like imagine saying anything like this about a mentally ill person is in any way okay or anything but horiffic ableism???

[perfectpaperbluebirds]

Hi, i was wondering if you could write a fic in which (criminal minds) reid is really sick and hes late into work and so morgan goes to check on him and finds him glassy eyed and confused, he probably dosent realise hes late so morgan takes care of him and thinks about all the times reid as a kid would have had to take care of himself and like times he shoukd probably have been in the hospital but his mom couldnt take him because of the scitzophrenia (sp?) And so he isnt used to being taken care of and gets really confused as to everything morgan is doing (like morgan puts his hand on his forhead to measure his fever and reid is really confused and dosent understand why he is doing it or why he is there at all.) Sorry if thats too specific and feel free to take your own liberties, just thought it would be interesting and i think it would work great from the writing of yours i have read. <3 thank you.

Thanks for the prompt! Hope it was what you were looking for. I'm not even gonna apologize for how long this took to get out lol. This is just who I am. I will probably never change. But I appreciate that some of you still care enough to send me prompts.

CW: Canon typical mentions of k*illing and unsubs. Very brief.

Maybe Tomorrow Will Be Better

Spencer Reid was asleep on his couch when he was awakened by a knock at the door. At first he was very confused to find himself on the couch at all, since he wasn't the type to fall asleep in places that weren't his bed. It all came flooding back, though, when pain seared through his throat as he tried to swallow. Right on cue, his head started to throb and a chill raced its way up his spine– of course. He was sick. Had been for a while. He'd been asleep on the couch for a while, too. At least a day, he thought. Time was foggy ever since the fever kicked in. 

The person on the other side of the door knocked again, making Spencer jump. He'd almost forgotten about them. He got his feet underneath himself and stood, shuffling to the door with a chesty cough. The nuisance that had started it all. He'd really been hoping he wouldn't need breathing treatments this time, but it was seeming more and more inevitable, as the cough was getting worse, not better. 

At last he reached the door and unlocked it, swinging it open, too tired to bother with his usual safety rituals. If an unsub was going to kill him, today he'd go down without a fight, awful as he felt. 

But of course it wasn't an unsub. It was Derek Morgan, which was somehow even more unbelievable. 

"Morgan? What are you doing here?" Reid croaked, his voice only a husk of what it usually was. 

"I was going to ask you the same question, kid. But I can see the answer for myself." Morgan quickly assessed his teammate, from the disheveled hair to the fever flush over his cheeks, to the way he clutched the doorway for support, trembling faintly. He'd never seen anyone looking more sick. "Still, you should've called someone. We were all waiting for you, and we got worried when your phone was turned off."

"Waiting where? Where was I supposed to be?" Reid asked groggily, panic rising in his chest.

"... At the bureau? Just like every Monday?" Morgan said with a worried frown.

"Wait, it's already Monday?" Reid's eyes widened as he ran a shaking hand through his hair. "I– I thought it was only Sunday…." His breath began to whistle in his chest in panic. 

Now it was Morgan's eyes that widened. He reached out to clasp Spencer's shoulder reassuringly. "Hey, hey, take it easy kid. It's okay. No harm, no foul. It happens. Everyone misses things when they're sick. Calm down."

Reid sagged weakly against the door frame now, too tired now to support his own weight. "I don't miss things. I can't miss things," he mumbled, barely audible. 

Morgan's eyebrows furrowed. "C'mon, let's get you back to bed. You need to lie down."

"I can get there myself," Reid muttered. He pushed himself off the door frame and shuffled over to collapse onto his makeshift bed, heaping the blankets back over himself with a miserable cough. 

Without hesitation, Derek followed him in and perched on a chair across from him. "Do you need anything? Water, medicine?"

"I've got it under control," Spencer said huskily. "You can go, Morgan. Give the team my apologies. I'll be back to the office as soon as I can. Hopefully tomorrow."

"You're not going anywhere like this," the other agent said. "You can barely stand, man. Have you been to the doctor?"

"Haven't gotten that far yet. I will today if it doesn't start to clear up," Reid managed around a yawn.

"I'll take you right now. I can already see this isn't going to clear up on its own." Morgan stood quickly. "What can I grab for you? The sooner we go, the better." 

“You don’t have to grab anything for me. I can handle this on my own.” 

Spencer’s frustration was evident, weakened though it was behind the sickness and fatigue, but instead of being annoyed by his stubbornness like he usually would have been, Morgan’s heart softened further. He sat back down on the chair, scrutinizing the other man. 

"I guess you're pretty used to doing the sick day thing by yourself, aren't you?" Morgan said slowly. "Not me. My mom wouldn't let us lift a finger if we had even a little cold. I kinda like being taken care of when I'm sick, so I guess I assume everyone else feels the same way." 

Spencer was quiet for a long time. So long, Derek wondered if he fell back asleep, until he coughed long and hard. 

"My mom… couldn't do that kind of stuff. I'm used to taking care of myself," Reid finally croaked. 

Morgan nodded. "I get that. But I gotta wonder… your mom would have taken care of you when you were sick like this if she could have, right?"

"Of course!" Reid said indignantly. "Of course she would have. It was just her mental health. She didn't have the capacity back then." 

"Exactly. Because everyone wants to make sure the people they care about are taken care of. Sickness brings that out in all of us. That's why I'm still sitting here right now, and why I'm taking you to the doctor before I leave. I care about you, Reid. That, and my mama taught me everyone should get a little extra attention when they're sick." 

Instead of replying, Spencer broke into another harsh coughing fit. In no time he was struggling to breathe, so Derek rushed to his side and helped him sit up with a gentle arm behind his shoulders, holding him up until the coughing subsided. Even when he was quiet, though, the hectic flush lingered on the sick man's face, and the dizzy look in his eyes worried Derek. Before he could second guess himself, Morgan pressed a broad palm to the younger man's forehead. 

From under his hand, Reid gave him a confused look. "What did you do that for?" the doctor asked after Morgan pulled his hand away. 

"Haven't you ever had anyone feel you for a fever before?" came the reply. 

"If you wanted to check my fever, you should have used a thermometer. That would be far more accurate than your hand," Reid said, still clearly confused. 

Morgan chuckled. "You may know more than me about a lot of things, Reid, but there's some things I'll need to teach you about being taken care of when you're sick. Now let me help you up and find you a coat so we can take you to urgent care. That is the nastiest cough I've ever heard."

[shigarakisslutbag]

Hey its hyp0dermic! 🐻 thanks for all the reblogs boo, could I maybe request some gross shiggy? I've got a craving for nasty foul greasy evil man

Heyheyhey omg omg. First of all LUV ur writing . Gives me SO many butterflies and i may or may not read that shit over and over 👀👀 sorry i got to this late HOWEVER i hope it gets you in a greasy nasty mood for the man we all love

TW: dom! Shigaraki, stalker behaviour, mentions of cum and knife play if you squint, dirty talk (from reader, but not to shigaraki), and mentions of masturbation (female)

Shigaraki, at first is unassuming at first, ironically, sex life wise or romance

And by romance i mean being a fucking creep. His version of romance, is kidnapping some poor, inncoent girl, he deemed to be his perfect, proper, little slut he could toy with and obsess iver however much he wanted

You had no chance getting away, unfortunately for you, fortunately for him, of course

You were just a frail person. Inside and out. You were so gullible. Your voice squeaked when talking to anyone. So much worry and anxiety in that tiny little body of yours.

The closest thing he had for sympathy for you- was pity

Absolute, pure pity

He had to have you though. This corrupted. Hero filled society didnt even come close to be deserving of you

For months he watched you . He was so patient with you, my love

But god could he not wait to fuck you until you were begging him to stop- just so he could keep fucking your tight little cunny even harder

And he knew it was tight, because every night he'd watch your little slutty self play with your soft, doughy-like pussy like there was no tomorrow. Squirting all over your comforter

He couldnt wait to make you do that when be finally had you. He was gonna make your slutty, disgraceful self sleep in it too

Its what a slut like you deserved

While you were gone to work (you worked part-time at a little bakery- so innocent for a disgusting bitch in heat like yourself) he put in cameras one day. So he could hear you whimper

And holy. Fucking. Shit. Every word that spilled from your mouth was like honey. Honey'd words that he wanted to use to lube up his cock as he shoved inside you and make you wail

"Give me your cock, pretty p-please!!"

"I cant take it anymore! It wont fit!"

"I want your cock in my dripping, soaking wet pussy, so bad. I need it "

All those pretty words he was gonna force out of that tiny little throat of yours

But he was gonna use your throat for more then just screaming for his perfect cock

And fuck would he make it fit if he had to

After about 5 months of relentlessly stalking, a pretty little whore like yourself. He had everything he needed to know

Your address, schedule, hobbies, likes, dislikes, food you liked, kinks you had, your internet search history, the king had it all

He didnt plan on making you a queen though. You had to earn that. You were gonna be his pretty little slave. And you were gonna enjoy every minute and second of it

He snuck into your apartment complex. Waited in the guest room, that you never bothered to go into, until you finished your routine, and fell asleep. Naked as usual. He wouldnt do anything yet though. In that moment the only thing on his mind was taking you to your new forever home

He waited until you fell asleep. And even after he heard your soft snores, he still waited. He wanted to take you home with no interruptions. He would take his dear sweetheart home, and he planned on doing it quickly and efficiently.

Once he deemed you were ready to take, he quietly walked out, even knowing you were quite a deep sleeper. He knows this from all the other times he snuck in to take your panties. But dont worry hun, youll have those back again soon. However you wont get them back how you first had them

(He most likely either came or pissed in them for you to wear instead)

Being a villain has its perks, especially if you have a "special" love interest. Meaning he had all the access to amy drugs he could possibly need. Drugs to paralyze you, knock you out, make you "excited" . But for now he just wanted to put you sleep, gently.

He pulled out a soft, clean rag, and put chorform on it. He rolled you over and stared at you for a minute, admiring how beautiful you were. He could think of many other ways to make you beautiful. Carving his initials into your pretty doll like skin, or covering it in cum. Maybe if you were a good girl hed let you sleep in it. But thats for later

He got on top of you, to make sure if you fought back there was no way of escaping. Dont worry he had his "special" gloves on for good measure.

He noticed you grumbled in your sleep a little bit, but before you could open your eyes, or say a single word of protest, the rag of chloroform was already to your nose and mouth

Your body insantly reacted and, of course, you tried to squirm

"Shhh shhh its okay.. its all gonna be okay. Just breathe- no dont cry. Im going to make everything better, princess"

You couldnt hold your breath any longer, and soon succumbed to the sweet smell of the rag , and went back to sleep

"See was that so hard? You made it a little difficult, but dont worry. We'll work on your obedience"

That night, if someone were unfortunate enough to look out their window, theyd see the infamous villain himself, shoving you in the back of the league of villains van, taking you to what he called your forever home, and what you would soon call, your forever night mare

(Hiii everyone!! Its been a got minute. Some of you were probably expecting mommy kink stuff, and there will be, but other people wanted dominant content, so i will provide hehe. I have some mommy kink content for both shiggy and dabi in the works. Also this WILL have a part two. This is more just a set up for whats about to come. And part 2 will be a lot more disgusting. Thank you so much @hyp0dermic for the request, i will get to the second part very soon:) )

[obsessive-ego]

Talking in you sleep

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Reader says Beetlejuice's name 3 times in their sleep, but hes already in their home

Sfw

Idk been thinking about this for ages

Just a small fic

It was an accident

It was no secret to anyone that you talk in your sleep, not full sentences, just a word or two, nothing too abnormal, you didn't know about this little quirk of yours until a certain foul mouthed undead demon wormed his way into your life, he was the one who told you.

...

"Ya know you chatter on in your sleep?" He'd  chuckle as if he found something truly embarrassing to bug you about.

"How'd you know? Am I that loud you can hear me in the livingroom?"

"Nah, I watch you sleep" he said it so plainly as if it wasnt super creepy.

The ghoul eventually upped his late night habits from watching you sleep, to sleeping in the same bed as you, he did this so often you stopped setting up the couch for him and just accepted your fate to be spooned every night by a creepy old dead guy who you may or may not have a crush on

...

The nights you've babbled in your sleep always brought on annoying mornings of beetlejuice teasing you, probably lying through his teeth over how you moan his name in you sleep to get you worked up for his own amusement, unfortunately you couldnt prove you didnt since your dreams never really stuck with you long after waking.

Hell with your late night chatter you even manged to summon beej once in your sleep, a night he was spending over at the Deetz, you manged to say his name 3 times in a row, spoken, unbroken, in your sleep, and boy was your face red when you woke up and saw the bastard in question sitting inches from your face with the widest shit eating grin you've ever seen on his face, that was an instance you couldnt deny saying his name in your sleep and dreaming about him, you missed him, of course you think about the demon when you two are apart, even the few days he's with the Deetz and the maitlands.

Tonight wasnt one of those nights, beetlejuice has spent the entire day glued to your side, chatting your ear off about all the scares he and lydia pulled in your absence, his stories always made you smile, the way he practically glowed green with excitement as he retold his showmanship to you.

The night went on with bad jokes and fun stories as the demon filled you in on all the fun you missed while you were doing boring adult breather things and how the two of you should mess with some unlucky breathers so he could show you how amazing he truly was, as if you needed proof that the ghoul was a ham who loved to show off.

As the two of you sat on the couch laughing away, forgetting the movie that basically became White noise to your conversation, a yawn escapes your lips

"Getting tired babes? Am I really that boring" the ghoul teased pinching you cheek

You groan and pull away "well, yeah, unlike you mister freeloader, I worked all day" you shrug before letting out another yawn

"Freeloader? Oh sugar, your words hurt" the ghoul fakes hurt, giving you an over exaggerated gasped face, with his hands over where a person's heart would be "I thought we had the mutual understanding that I was your trophy husband"

You give the demon a soft laugh "you wish-"

"Every night baby~" he purrs pink stripes slowly appearing in his hair

You freeze, it wasnt uncommon for beetlejuice to openly flirt with you, but that doesnt mean it didnt make you freeze up everytime, you werent exactly the type people lined up to date, nor were you very popular growing up, so the sudden and intense attention the demon gave you always made your heart pound.

"Uh, um, I think I'm gonna head to bed" you stammer before getting up "night beej" you mumble before disappearing into your bedroom.

The demon stifles a laugh, god slash satan you were a delight to get worked up, not to mention easy. He loved it, his favourite little breather was always so hot when they were an embarrassed mess.

The ghoul decides to finish the movie the two of you had on in the background, before heading to bed with you, he didn't need to sleep, just enjoyed being snuggled up to that soft warm body of yours, and it was more rewarding to sneak in after you were out cold, bed would be already warm, and with the added thrill of not wanting to wake you.

As the credits roll beetlejuice snaps his fingers and tv goes dark, the ghoul raises from the couch and gives a yawn and a long stretch as if he was exhausted. The demon makes his way to your room, standing outside your door he pauses at the sound of your voice

"Beetlejuice"

It was soft, barely audible, but herd it, guess you were still up, beetlejuice phases through your bedroom door, to be greeted by your sleeping form.

He stifled a chuckle, you were dreaming of him, tomorrow was gonna be great, the ghoul was already busy thinking about ways to poke fun at this in the morning, moaning out his name in you sleep? What kind of dream were you having babes? He could see your face now.

"Beetlejuice" you mumble again in a whisper

"Whoa there babes, you know the rule, one more time and I'm out" he whispers making his way to your bed.

"Beetlejuice" you sigh

"Y/N!" was the the only thing he had time to shout before vanishing.

His shout was enough to make wake you, but not enough to clue you in to what you just did, you grumble out a swear before rolling over and going back to sleep.

The next morning you wake up, a tad confused to not have a snoring dead guy weighing you down, normally on nights beetlejuice would stay over he'd slip into bed with you after you've fallen asleep, using your chest as a pillow.

You dont think much of it at first, heading to the kitchen to make some coffee before getting dressed, you did notice there was no beej there either, waiting for you kettle to boil you give your little home a quick sweep for the demon, nothing.

He's vanished to do his own thing before, he was a grown man, sometimes he'd duck out and mess with the neighbors in your apartment complex, but he would at least leave you a note or something.

You started to worry, what if something awful happened to him? Then it clicked, lydia must had summoned him away to hang out, that had to be it, and with that thought all dread left you so you could carry on with your day, since bj wasnt around you took the opportunity to get a few odds and ends done.

The day drags on into the late evening, you were enjoying the peace as you catch up on some reading.

Your phone rings, looking at the screen you see its lydia, that's odd, she normally texts you if anything

"Hello?"

"Y/n I need to ask beetlejuice something"

"Isnt he with you?"

"What? No-"

Dread returns to you chest, you havent seen him since last night, he left no note, he wasnt with lydia, did something awful happen? was he bored with you? You felt like you were going to be sick

"Y/n?"

"I gotta go" was all you could say before hanging up,

"Beetlejuice!"

Nothing

"Beetlejuice!"

Again nothing, he normally came after the second yell, anxiety for your dear friend make you since to your stomach in fear for the worst, you steady yourself and take a deep breath and say it for a third time

"Beetlejuice"

With a puff of green smoke there stood the ghoul, unfortunately sporting a purple hue

"Bee-"

"It took you that long to notice I was gone?"

"No, I-"

"Why did it take so long then? Enjoying your time without me?!" Red streaks began to show up amongst the purple

"I thought lydia summoned you back-"

"And you waited till now to check?!"

"I DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER THE TWO OF YOU" you yelled back, beetlejuice is taken abck by your volume, you take a deep breath "if I knew why you were gone I would have said something sooner, what happened?" You say calmly gently taking the demon's hand, red now fading away, though the purple stayed

"You sent me away, you said my name 3 times in your sleep and sent me back to the netherworld" he refused to look at you as if you did this on purpose to mess with him.

"Bee, I'm sorry, I would have never done that on purpose, i- i love having you around, and I, god, i miss you when you're not here, with me" now it was your turn to refuse eye contact, admitting such a cheesy thing, you wanted to just die, not that it would help.

The purple hue is quick to leave the ghoul's form in replacement with a much softer pink, you missed him, music to his ears.

"Sugar" beetlejuice grabs your chin and forces eye contact

You give him a soft smile seeing that he was no longer purple, but also when he pulls you into a rather over exaggerated dip and sloppy kiss "so how bout we make up for some lost time and you can make this little misunderstanding up to me, what do you say babes?~"

You only stutter and choke on your words as the demon spins you around

"Would you like to scare some delivery guy and watch a bad slasher?" You finally get out

The demon pauses for a moment, as if to think about this offer.

"Normally I'd be delighted honey, but I think you owe me~ how bout you have to sit on my lap the entire film~" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you, you swallow the lump in your throat, this was gonna be a long night

Bonus

The two of you were snuggled together on the couch, Beetlejuice's arms were around your waist, his head on your shoulder, your bum on his lap.

"So babes, whatever you dreaming about last night?"

[stellaestra]

how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]

pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]

description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets

genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort

author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas

p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious

pls I'm funny i swear

cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)

unedited

// no beta read, we’ll die like men

---

bang chan

mc is a '00 liner,

she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1

to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors

possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something

he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event

after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her

mc would always awkwardly greet him back

“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.

mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.

cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”

chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters

he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does

(love rivals (for felix) arc when)

he doesn’t know who to be envious of

that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or

felix being able to spend so much time with her

the never-ending saga

(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)

(okay, im joking)

their respective friends group made a running joke

about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix

(it eventually became theirs as well)

(it's funny)

once he made her go off-tangent about felix

she was really passionate about his freckles and smile

for a moment

he really did think that she has a crush on him

no surprises there tho

felix IS absolutely cute

(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)

he really really finds her adorable

he could go on for days

esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks

sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day

it's like a second skin on her

he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket

“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”

“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”

“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”

one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her

“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”

“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”

he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed

that he was kinda concerned

she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty

but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair

“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”

“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.

he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age

chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.

he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway

bc she's his cute little junior

---

lee minho

another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"

minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost

plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye

to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him

drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before

no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible

mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt

she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes

really, she doesn’t

minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of

bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him

if they ever interact

it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors

like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase

his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event

he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that

the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.

chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…

then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her

so he took this chance as to know more abt her

coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs

(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)

(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)

(the never-ending saga of love rivals)

he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event

she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends

even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot

it kinda made him want to tease her even more now

he found out her name and what they were planning to do

heard her cursing under her breath

he decided to join their group on the whim

found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her

her friends are somewhat protective of her

he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways

and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them

so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible

like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust

what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about

her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from

just to avoid him

he couldn't help but find it hilarious

he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus

saw how her eyes lit up brightly

“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”

“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”

he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess

and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences

he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked

would nod along with what she says

because wow, shes really passionate about cats

that's a huge bonus for minho

and that was how minho adopted another kitten

whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together

playdate with cats <3

she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called

“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy

“why did you guys name them that?”

“because why not?”

“fair enough point.”

and she laughs

he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest

since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her

casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot

expected her to be bashful about it

but all she does was

“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"

so making her flustered backfired on him

poor minho

here’s your “you tried” star

mwah

so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)

---

seo changbin

same case as the two above, unfortunately

if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries

mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent

she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people

but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him

thinks of him as a pretty cool senior

he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days

imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression

your ego would go off the rooftop

after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways

RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL

pat her on the head occasionally

if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands

“why do you keep avoiding them”

“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat”

“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more

“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”

“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”

“um, yeah, no.”

“let your cute senior pat your head!!”

“im gonna run away!”

he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her

esp felix and jisung

for innie’s circumstances, that’s different

she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes

found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought

they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other

even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning

that would not stop them

“this song reminds me of you”

“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”

“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”

he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha

jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before

changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs

they were floored and the conversation starts like this,

“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”

“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”

“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”

“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”

“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”

“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”

lots of petty bickerings

chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school

(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)

he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and

that they actually are aware of her music taste

or else

she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does

he had to witness her biting her tongue live

changbin would never think someone like her would have

such a vulgar language

every profanity he knows came out of her mouth

he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue

after fretting over her though, he started teasing her

relentlessly

she threatened to sue him

"I'll sue you"

"with what money?"

"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"

"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"

"fight me!"

he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to

their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings

he gives very comforting hugs and pats

mc doesn’t want to admit it tho

well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day

“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”

“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don’t let it go to your head.”

“I KNEW IT”

“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”

“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”

"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"

rip in peace, changbin

he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it

the more you know

curiousity killed the cat????

---

hwang hyunjin

avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year

why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him

coughs one of the school princes coughs

their batch year prince

she's really gonna swerve away from him

interactions will be kept at a bare minimum

one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers

she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates

that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies

yeah that's mc

that was probably the last time she would even think about it

when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol

goodbye mc you've lived a good life

your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)

jokes aside

hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why

since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her

he probably wondered about it a lot

borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her

so she should know that he’s friends with them

ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them

or when he come across her in the hallways

sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away

esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction

if he ever made eye contact with her

so his plan to befriend mc has started

tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc

mc never did protest his presence like at all

but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her

eventually shes comfortable enough with him

but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though

that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys

and a little left out

as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so

jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her

take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)

that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes

one day he found her waiting at the bus stop

it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform

he was kinda on an errand run too

kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her

afraid that she might run away

she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward

a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core

he splutters back a reply

“on an errand run, errand boy?"

"huh?"

“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”

“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”

“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”

“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"

“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”

“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”

“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”

for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.

“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”

“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”

“...um, we’re friends, right?”

“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”

a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact

pretty boys have too much power in their hands

and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms

this isn’t fair for her heart

so when the bus arrived

they sat beside each other on the bus

hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens

he was so glad he cleared smth up with her

if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her

until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her

when he tried doing it the first time and startled her

yeah no not now

maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great

(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)

(it felt like a heartache)

but it’s okay now though

they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters

---

[masterlist]

[yongtxt]

hundred [johnny]

word count: 4.5k words

characters: boxer!johnny x doctor!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: blood/wound/stitches mentions, johnny hates hospitals but he likes the pretty doctor, [im not a doctor nor a boxer pls dont say that i have info wrong because I Know]

author’s note: i know this isnt long to some of u but to me it is and i havent written this much for so long im so proud of myself for finishing this:( it isnt that good but this is the first long fic ive written in a while and shhsdjk also i needed to get this out of my system ive thought about this au since that jcc came out where johnny and hyuck was doing muay thai plssss (i couldnt find a better gif tho) ok this is getting too long / feedback is appreciated tysm

Johnny Suh hated hospitals with a burning passion.

It wasn't from a past trauma nor was he afraid of it, it wasn't that serious. He wasn't exactly sure what the cause of it really was. If he had to make a guess, it was probably from the accumulation of the little things, the insignificant factors people would usually dismiss but bothered him enough that it contributed to the big hatred he built for hospitals.

Maybe it was the distinct smell of hospitals, it reeked of death and old people. Maybe it was the atmosphere of the fluorescent-lit hallways, always gloomy and heavy. Maybe it was also the fact that the fees were so expensive and yet the food they provide tasted horrible, even the coffee was a hit or miss. The only upside he could think of was people get better in hospitals, but even that wasn't assured.

Despite how much Johnny despised hospitals, he always finds himself coming back. If he wanted to get better, he had no choice but to go. He would endure the gruesome process over and over again whether it be to treat his wounds or to stitch his cuts.

With his jaw littered with small bruises and his lips busted at the corner, he sat impatiently on the hospital bed as he waited for his doctor. He was fiddling with his fingers, knuckles bruised the same way his face was. He looked beaten up, he always did.

The clothes he wore contradicted the state he was in, they were fresh and laid back. He looked like a college student from the way he dressed. A delinquent more like, if one considered his cuts and bruises. Before heading to the hospital, he always makes it a point to shower and make himself appear presentable to the public. Although no one really bothers to take notice of his effort, only him.

The sliding door opened and Johnny's attention shot up from his phone, his gaze meeting with yours. Your head popped in, peaking through the small crack you made. Your eyes lit up in recognition as it always did whenever you see him.

"Youngho-ssi?" You spoke almost as if it was a question, voice barely above a whisper to make sure you were in the correct room, about to tend the correct patient.

Johnny didn't understand why you always did that, call out his name as if this was the first time you were seeing him. At that point, you've been already acquainted with him enough due to his numerous trips to the hospital. Either way, he nods every time.

You gave him a small smile, widening the door enough so you could enter. You wore a white lab coat, a name tag pinned to your chest and a stethoscope hung around your neck. You were small, although anyone compared to him was bound to be comparatively smaller – that wasn't the point, you looked young and that never fails to astound him every time you go through the door.

You had a clipboard in your hands, scanning through what he assumed to be his condition that a nurse had written earlier after a quick checkup and disinfection of his open wound. Your lips were formed on a tight line, eyebrows furrowed. He continued to stare at you with such amusement.

"You don't have to answer my question, Youngho-ssi, but why are you always here?" You finally broke the silence, startling him in the slightest. You never bothered to ask before, always just offering smiles and small talks while you did your work; maybe his sudden regularity of coming to the hospital recently made your curiosity peaked.

He couldn't blame you. Anybody would be curious why a 24-year-old man keeps coming back to the hospital with no clear explanation.

He cleared his suddenly dry throat, he never liked saying his job. He said, "I box for a living."

"Ah, that makes sense!" Your eyes visibly glimmered, absentmindedly jotting down notes on his medical records. "My coworkers and I thought you were in a gang or something."

"I don't think I would be allowed to be here if I was." He chuckled, making you giggle as well.

"Seo Youngho, 24, minor lip laceration in need of immediate suture." You read of his data from the clipboard, almost comically. It was medical terms he was unfortunately already too familiar with, to him, it basically meant that he had a busted lip that needs to be sewed shut.

"You can just call me Johnny. Youngho sounds too formal to me." He said nonchalantly. You nodded your head to his simple request; it probably was best if you got to know him better since he frequented the hospital so much.

"Alright, Johnny. We'll start the process now, okay?"

With keen eyes, he watched you slip on a pair of surgical gloves. You grabbed a tissue from the metal tray that sat beside him and began folding it into squares. He felt his heartbeat quicken, he hated getting stitches or any form of medical treatments for that matter, but as morbid as it was, he thought of it as punishment for his recklessness in the ring.

"Isn't boxing just, I don't know, senseless violence?" You asked, tone dripping with pure innocence and unadulterated interest as you gently dabbed away the remaining dried blood the nurse failed to clean earlier.

"It's a sport, it's how I bring money to the table." He pursed his lips, ignoring the twinge of pain that surged through his nerves. He visibly relaxed when you placed a hand onto his shoulder to reassure him.

Ever since the first time you got assigned to him, the first thing he took note of was the softness of your hands. You handled him as if he was fragile glass, despite how he easily towered over you. He felt pathetic as a 24-year-old but your gentle touches would greatly help put him at ease.

"I guess. I didn't mean to be rude." You were hesitant, Johnny could tell but he was glad you didn't push on any further. He couldn't handle explaining his occupation when you were about to pierce his skin. "Okay, Johnny, now that your lip is clean and the anesthesia had seeped in, we'll start. I think you know how it goes by now."

"Make it quick, please." He nodded, squinting his eyes shut at the mere contact of a surgical pen grazing over his gaped lips. You were relieved that his cut wasn't too big, you couldn't stomach the idea of putting him in too much pain for longer.

As you picked up the tweezers and string of nylon, you couldn't help but laugh at the six-foot boxer in front of you who was clearly petrified of getting stitches, "This will be done as soon as you know it. You won't really feel it because of the anesthesia, remember? Now count to a hundred backward for me."

Once the numb feeling of nylon dragged through his lips, he swore he saw white spots flicker in his vision. His eyes immediately watered and he tried his best not to squirm under your hold, beginning to count to a hundred backward like you had instructed him to. You admitted it to him the first time you stitched him that it was a trick that you learned from your pediatrician friend. Despite it being for children, it helped to get him distracted while you focused on your job.

Minutes felt like hours, Johnny had been fighting the urge to punch something, anything, to release tension and nerves. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he took a peak and tried to take his attention away from what was currently happening on his lip. His gaze landed on your pretty eyes, how it was narrowed in focus and how your lashes perfectly framed it.

This wasn't the first time he'd observe you up close, there had been many occasions in the past that you had been too close for comfort in order to tend his wounds. It had been too many that it was almost as if he was close to memorizing your features. You were not only beautiful but you were also a smart and capable doctor.

Eventually, you finished and started to rub ointment on his sore lip — the finishing line.

"Try not to eat anything spicy or hard. You know the drill." You grinned at his suddenly pale features, ripping off your gloves as his eyes adjusted to the bright lights of the room. "You're good to go. Be careful next time."

He let out a shaky breath, clearly still winded up from the procedure, "I'll try. Thanks again, doc."

-

The punching bag felt great against Johnny's fists. There wasn't a feeling in the world that could compare to the impact of leather slamming against his skin. He could last hours mindlessly pummeling the bag if his stamina just allowed him to.

Hyunsik, Johnny's manager and personal trainer, drew away from the punching bag he held in between his arms. He let out a breath and held out a hand to motion that Johnny has done enough.

Johnny was hurting, Hyunsik could see that much. The bandages he had wrapped for the boxer's fingers were turning into a shade of red that they were all too familiar with.

Hyunsik clicked his tongue, "You should've used your gloves."

"How can I grow stronger if I keep relying on them?" Johnny rolled his eyes. His muscles needed a boost and this seemed to be the only logical way to strengthen them — a little blood never hurt anybody.

"Someday you're gonna fracture your hand and you'll be forced out of the ring. Remember that." Hyunsik huffed, his voice stern. "Take them off, I'll clean the blood off."

Johnny reluctantly did as told, unfurling the bandages wrapped around his fingers. The pain was excruciating when the fabric grazed along his tender skin, he winced at the unsightly view of his reopened wounds.

Hyunsik led him back outside of the ring to the benches where the first aid kit was. He made the boxer sit down so he could start cleaning off his wounds. It looked horrific, more so than it usually did and he had no choice but to break the news to Johnny.

"It looks really bad. You need to go get that checked in the hospital and have it sewed back." Hyunsik said, taking a wet towel and carefully dabbing it across Johnny's bloodied knuckles.

He didn't want to go to the hospital. Going to the hospital to have his wounds treated meant that Johnny would be medically required to take days off work to let his hand heal. Johnny frowned, "Don't you have an ointment or something that could help? I can't afford to lose a day of practice."

"Don't you think I know that?" Hyunsik rolled his eyes. "As your manager, I want you to be in top shape for your match next week, even if it means sacrificing a day or two for you to heal."

Johnny could only nod. He sat through Hyunsik's lecture on the changes he should make to his dietary plan and the exercises he should do during his temporary break. It infuriated him that he couldn't do anything about it but nod along.

The incoming match that was set next week would make or break his career as an underground boxer. He didn't have the option of missing it because of some measly reopened wounds. If he had to rest to get better, he had no choice but to suck it up. This was his fault anyway for pushing himself too much.

Johnny showered in the locker rooms and changed into nicer clothes that didn't reek of blood and sweat. His hands were stinging but he shook it off.

He ignored the concerned looks other boxers were giving him and begrudgingly made his way to the hospital to get himself checked in. You wouldn't be happy to see him all bloodied again, he thought.

-

Much to Johnny's surprise, it wasn't you who was assigned to him. It was a much older doctor with graying hair and a nose stuck too far up in the air. She was rude and condescending, her lack of politeness to her patients was quite appalling. If Johnny wasn't in such a bad mood, he might've complained already.

God, this day couldn't get any worse.

With a meek voice, Johnny asked where you were and at the mention of your name, his doctor gave him a narrowed look. She sneered, "She's handling much more important cases. Does she know you?"

"I think so." Johnny gulped, unsure of the answer himself.

The doctor's grip was tight and she was hasty. It was as if she was trying to speed through the process to just get it over with. Johnny wanted to cry because he was starting to get traumatized by this doctor's procedure, he didn't want to hate the hospital more than he already did.

He internally screamed for your name as he watched the doctor pull on the gloves. The sliding door harshly whipped open and there you were in all your glory, like an angel sent from above to save him from the devil incarnate who was about to pierce his skin.

You were panting and the sheen on your forehead made it obvious that you ran your way to his room. Johnny's heart leaped with glee.

"Unnie, I'll handle him." You said, unable to catch your breath as you made your way inside. "I think the ER needs you more than me."

The doctor seemed hesitant at first but you tried to convince her otherwise. She eventually agreed and left you with Johnny who had a cheesy smile on his face the entire time since you've arrived.

"So Johnny, what happened this time?" You asked, picking up the clipboard that sat next to him on the bed.

"I overdid the punching during training and it reopened some old wounds on my knuckles. It hurts like a bitch."

You pulled a face, "That's a bit intense."

He chuckled, "It's normal."

"Can I please see it?" You opened your palm so he could place his hand on yours. You observed his cuts and the scabs that were beginning to form around it, it was too deep to let it heal on its own so you made the verdict that he needed to get it sewed back together ⁠— as unfortunate as it was since he was a boxer and he needed his hands to box.

You tugged on a new pair of gloves and began the painful procedure, Johnny started counting down even without you instructing him to. You quickly got to work and stitched back his wounds with your lip in between your teeth

Johnny felt squeamish, he could never get used to the feeling of stitches. His eyes were glued shut and he mumbled numbers like it was mantra.

Once you were done, you smiled fondly at your work. You managed to get by with fewer stitches and you felt pride swell up in your chest. Johnny noticed and, as lightheaded as he was, couldn't help but smile as well.

"You're pretty good."

"At stitching?"

Johnny nodded with his cheeks flushed, he made a mental reminder to smack himself in the head later for such a crude comment. You probably thought he was an idiot now.

"I sure hope so." You chuckled, making him blush even deeper if that was even possible. "It's part of my job."

Johnny shook his head in embarrassment, his dark hair bouncing from how vigorously he did it. He mumbled, "That sounded really lame and not smooth, I'm sorry. Please forget I opened my mouth."

You could only chuckle as you apply the ointment around his knuckles. He wanted the ground to open up and just swallow him whole.

"Please let this heal completely, Johnny. Don't apply any strain on your injuries for a couple of days and refrain yourself from carrying anything heavy so that the stitches won't rip." You said, carefully placing down his hand back on his knee. You were gentle as ever, Johnny swooned. "Absolutely no punching for a while."

"I have an important match at the end of next week. Is there any way to speed up the healing process?" Johnny asked, his eyes were almost pleading at you and you blinked at him in surprise.

"Apart from what I just said, there's really nothing else you could do." You pursed your lips, watching his expression visibly deflate. "If you want to have even a sliver of a chance at winning your match, I suggest you do as I say. Your stitches won't take too long to heal, I promise."

If Hyunsik was there with him, he would've probably already scolded him but the point would be the same. He had always prioritized Johnny's health above winning.

"Okay, doc. I'll do my best." Johnny said, defeated.

"You know, I always see the aftermath of your matches and your training. I want to see you in the ring next time when you're not bloody and beaten up yet." You smiled at him and you swore that all the color that was previously drained from Johnny's face came rushing back. "If it's okay."

"Are you serious?" Johnny asked, almost dumbfounded. Did the pretty doctor he'd been crushing on for months really just asked if she could watch his match?

You nodded with the same hue of red now tainting your cheeks.

"O-Of course! It's on Saturday next week! Please come and cheer me on!" Like a little kid, he excitedly rambled on about the details about the upcoming match and you nodded with the same enthusiast as you wrapped bandages around his hands.

You weren't from his world so everything he said sounded foreign to you. The terms he said, the infamy of his opponents, the prominence of it all — you were eager to learn it if it meant seeing him this happy.

You've always known that he hated hospitals. It was clear from the way he acted during your first meeting. He was stiff and tense, the body language he exuded just screamed that he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there. As he visited the hospital more and more, you noticed the hatred never faltered. He only became better at hiding it from you.

To see him so relaxed and carefree within the four walls he hated with all his being, it was a breath of fresh air and the feeling you had in your chest grew stronger.

"You're good to go. I promise to see you in your match." You were jotting some last-minute details on the clipboard and you missed the way Johnny kept grinning like an idiot. "As much as I love seeing you here, I hate that you keep getting yourself injured. Keep out of trouble for me, Johnny."

You left the room without letting Johnny say another word.

Fuck, Johnny realized he hadn't asked for your number.

-

Johnny's match started in ten minutes. His heart was pounding in his ears, he almost couldn't hear what Hyunsik was shouting to him.

The underground stadium was filled to the brim with people, he felt more nervous than he did during his first boxing match. A lot was at stake for this win, he needed the belt. He was desperate for it.

"Johnny, are you listening to me?" Hyunsik raised his voice, aggressively slapping Johnny's cheeks together in his hands so he could focus on him. The boxer's mind was fleeting and it was his job to pull him back to reality now.

He hadn't seen you since last week and as much as he wanted to go back to the hospital to see you, he refused to badly hurt himself in the days that led up to the match. Johnny scanned the crowd for your face but he couldn't see it. You weren't there.

At the lack of your turnout, he failed to mask his disappointment. Hyunsik let out an aggravated groan and pulled the boxer on his feet to berate him further.

"Johnny, please for the love of all things holy, look me in the eye."

"I'm sorry. I'm okay now. I'm listening."

"Good because your match is starting soon and I need you to win this. All your hardships and sacrifices boils down to this match, you hear me?" Hyunsik bellowed, trying his best to keep his voice louder than the cries and chants of the audience. "Show them what Johnny Suh is capable of!"

Johnny nodded fervently, forcing himself into a state of serenity of peacefulness. He let out heavy breaths to even out his breathing as his team surrounded him, prepping him for what was about to come.

Hyunsik raised his hand at Johnny. He had five minutes left until his match started and he wasn't calming down.

"Can I please have some water?" Johnny asked and his medic stumbled on his feet to fetch him a bottle from the nearby cooler. He couldn't help but let out a shaky chuckle, his team seemed tenser than he was.

He downed the bottle as soon as it reached his hand. His hand was shaky. Goddammit, why was he so nervous?

At the corner of his eye, he saw Hyunsik making his way over to the barricade that separated his corner to the rest of the stadium. He arched his neck in a way that would let him take a peek what was so important that Hyunsik had to leave his side when the match was starting in a few minutes.

It seemed like Hyunsik was trying to stop a girl who was forcing her way in through the barricade. His stomach lurched at the sight of her familiar face.

As if he was acting purely on instinct, Johnny shot up from his seat and ran towards you. Hyunsik held up his arm to stop him from going any closer to you. You could've been a deranged fan, for all Hyunsik knows.

"Johnny-"

"I know her."

Hyunsik was startled at his response and started to profusely apologize to you. You looked nothing but smug and Johnny let out a breathy laugh that helped unravel the knots in his stomach. The boxer quietly motioned for him to take his leave and Hyunsik hesitantly did as told only after tapping his wrist as a sign that time was ticking.

You bowed at him apologetically, "I'm so sorry I'm late! There was this damn patient-"

"It's okay. You're here now." He cut you off, a cheesy smile on his face. You easily reciprocated it back.

"I just came down here to wish you good luck." You said with the usual confidence in your tone gone and now replaced with a sudden timidness and bashfulness. "Not like you need it or anything."

"Where are you sitting?" Johnny asked, noticing that you were struggling to keep your attention on his eyes. He peered down and realized that he didn't have a shirt on, he chuckled.

You pointed near the walls of the stadium and he strained his vision to see so far away. He pursed his lips and let out a noise of discontent. You said that it was the only seats available because you were so late.

"Why don't you sit here with them? They wouldn't mind." Johnny said, jutting his thumb over to his team who was furtively watching his interaction.

"Oh no, it's okay."

"I insist. I want you to see me win up close."

You blushed a deep shade of scarlet and Johnny grinned at his successful attempt at a flirt. Was it even a flirt or was it an ego stroke? Either way, it didn't matter because you were smiling at him. You were easing his nerves and you didn't even know.

"I got out of my shift early so I wouldn't be in the hospital later to stitch you up." You teased, softly prodding his shoulder blade.

Johnny playfully puffed out his chest, "I don't plan on getting too injured today, I wanna look cool in front of you."

"Whatever you say, Johnny."

"But I'm nervous. I'm actually really nervous today." Johnny mumbled as if he didn't want anyone else in on your conversation, gone all traces of his cockiness as his heart thudded erratically against his chest when he heard Hyunsik's call of the last minute until he has to go inside the ring.

You gingerly reached for his taped hands and gave it a gentle squeeze, "Just count back from a hundred like I always tell you to. You'll do fine."

"Wait for me after the match, okay?" And so you did.

Counting down the numbers, Johnny clambered inside the ring and the bell rang to signal the start of the match. Being in the medical field meant that you were against all forms of violence so you couldn't really watch the entirety of the match without feeling sick to your stomach. Johnny didn't care, he was just happy that you kept your promise and was cheering him on.

It was hectic and everything was happening all at once. It was loud and everybody was screaming. This wasn't your world, it was Johnny's and your heart fluttered at the thought that he was willing to let you in it.

Eventually, the match ended in Johnny's favor and the next thing you knew, you were being hoisted up in the air. You had the biggest smile on your face, similar to Johnny's who now had a shiny belt slung over his shoulder. All his hard work and all his trips to the hospital paid off.

"Congrats on your win!" You exclaimed, placing your palms on his chest to steady yourself.

"I wanted you to see me get the belt." He admittedly sheepishly, reaching out to hold your wrists in his bruised hands.

"Aren't you hurt in any way? We can drop by the hospital if you want." You asked, checking to see if he had any major injuries but true to his word, Johnny was inflicted little to no injuries during the match, exclude the few bruises on his jaw and a busted lip

"Actually, I'd rather we get some coffee instead." Johnny said, the small smile on his lips making you chuckle.

"I'm sorry, I don't date my patients." You smirked at Johnny's crestfallen expression, softly shoving his side to make it known that you were only joking.

Johnny pulled a face, releasing a breath he didn't realize he was holding once he realized your joke. He played along, "I think you can make me an exception, I don't usually invite people to my matches."

"So this is about getting even, huh?" You were teasing him and now your faces were merely inches apart but before Johnny could even think of leaning in, you spun around and grabbed his hand once more. "C'mon then, my treat!"

Johnny let out a laugh. A boxer and a doctor, who would've thought?

[brelione]

Just Me? (Kelce,Rafe,TopperXReader)

Warnings:Not proof read,mentions of eating disorders,not proof read,hehehehehe yall arent ready <3

The Best Boys   Marvel Movies   Action Figures     Bird

You couldnt stop thinking about what had happened with Rafe.You had tried everything to get it off your mind.You tried going for a swim,wrapping your banadage over with plastic wrap like Kelce had told you but that just made you think of how much more fun it would be to play volleyball in the pool with the boys.

You tried watching tv,doing the dishes and baking but you had baked brownies.Who’s favorite food in the whole world is brownies?Rafe.Rafe fucking loves brownies.You couldnt even understand why Rafe would kiss you.He had literally seen you with tears in your eyes and vomit all over your face.That’s gross.You sat in your kitchen for a while,walking in circles on top of the kitchen table,debating on whether or not to call Kelce.

You couldnt talk to Rafe about it,that was just both awkward and ridiculous.Kelce would probably insist on inviting Rafe over to have a group discussion about the importance of communication and understanding.That left Topper.You huffed,deciding to get off your table and grab a diet coke from the fridge before calling him.

“Did your cut reopen?”He asked anxiously,not even bothering to say hello.He held the football that was previously being thrown back and forth to his chest,holding up a finger to Kelce as he listened to you. “An emotional one.Can you come over?”You asked,tapping your fingers against your marble countertop.

He frowned,looking at the dull sky through his dark sunglasses,letting out a small sigh. “Yeah,sure.So whats going on?Is it the type of emotional reopen that you need McDonalds and coffee or is it a tissue and Criminal Minds situation?”He asked,guessing it was probably the second one.

 “Neither.Are you alone?”You asked,intriguing him. “You want me to come over?Like just me?”He asked. “Are-are you with the others?”You asked,waiting anxiously for his answer.He stared back at a confused Kelce,humming. “Im with Kelce.Would you be okay if I brought him?”He asked you quietly.

 “No-do not bring Kelce.I dont know,just tell him that you have to clean your fishtank or that your uncle died or something.”You exclaimed quickly,not wanting to hurt Kelce’s feelings.Topper’s jaw dropped. “Dont fucking manifest my uncle dyint-just give me twenty minutes,alright?”He asked.You smacked yourself in the face with your palm,groaning. “Yeah,okay.”You answered,hanging up.

You spent those twenty minutes pacing around your house,jogging up and down your stairs until you were painting,tug at your shirt to cool yourself off.You got annoyed with the material,ripping it off your head and throwing it. 

“FUCK!”You shouted for no reason in particular.Everything was beginning to stress you out,walking down the stairs and fighting the urge to scream as the moment ran through your head once more.You always knew Rafe would drive you crazy.Your door opened,Topper standing there with a frozen coffee topped with whipped cream.

He looked over to you,surprised that you werent laying on your couch as usual.He glanced down at your chest for a split second before staring down at the floor,feeling guilty.He held out the coffee to you,eyebrows furrowing when you placed it on the table opposed to eating the whipped cream off. “What’s going on?”He asked,reaching out to grab your shoulders and make you look at him.

 “Im sorry,im really fucking stressed and I have a stomach ache and im going insane and you’re the only person I cant think to talk too.Did you tell Kelce you were comeing here?”You asked.He grabbed your wrist gently,pulling you onto the couch and looking at you with concern evident on his face.

 “I told Kelce that I left my oven on so I had to leave.Rafe is out on the boat with Sarah,Ward,Rose and Wheezie for the day.Can you tell me what’s going on?”He asked,dragging the coffee across the table so it was in front of you.You sighed,bringing your knee to your chest and wrapping your arms around it.

 “I just-god,shitting fuck.”You cursed,getting quiet as you pinched the bridge of your nose.Topper was getting more and more worried as the seconds passed,reaching out a hand to rub your thigh in attempts to comfort you.

He let out a small gasp when you gripped his wrist tightly,shaking it back and forth with slight aggression. “Literally dont tell anyone what im about to tell you,got it?Not Rafe,not Kelce,not Nemo,not your mom,not your uncle not anyone.Do you understand?”You asked,trying your best not to sound completely insane but not succeeding at all.

He nodded quickly,anticipating building up within him. “Yeah,I totally wont.I promise.Now tell me what the fuck is happening!”He exclaimed. “Rafe kissed me.”You answered,feeling your hands shake a little as Topper went silent.He didnt know what to think.He was mroe mad at Rafe than anything.They had all agreed to just stay friends with you and not to fuck anything up.

He felt jealous that he wasn't the one to kiss you but also felt more worried about how you felt about the whole situation.Clearly you didn't feel great about it otherwise he wouldn't be sitting on your couch.He was shocked that you had chose to talk to him over Kelce.You had always picked Kelce to speak to about your emotional problems.That only made Topper think more.

Why wouldn't you want Kelce to know? “God,topper.Can you please say something?You’re stressing me the fuck out.”You huffed.He licked his lips upon realizing that his jaw had dropped. “So he just kissed you?Like,it just happened?”He asked.You nodded,looking over to the coffee and the foamy white mess that had once been a beautiful swirly mountain.

 “So...how do you feel about it?Do you like him like that?”Topper asked,trying to keep himself from freaking out.You bit your tongue,looking over to your tv and deciding that this whole house was too awkward and too quiet.You reached for the remote,putting on some cartoons. “I don't even know.I don't know what to think or how to feel and I havent talked to Rafe since then and now I feel like shit.What do I even do?i cant call him or anything cause I have nothing to say.”You thought out loud,kind of wishing that Kelce was here to go through all of the possibilities to help you figure out your best option.

But he wasn't. “Thats okay.You don't really need to know right this second but if you want to keep things from getting awkward then-well,hear me out.I think its a good idea for you to talk to Rafe about this or just talk to Rafe.Right now things are awkward because you’re not talking to him.Just think about it,you’re avoiding each other which makes you both too uncomfortable to start a conversation which will make things worse.”He explained as if he had been through this type of thing before.

You bit the inside of your cheek,forcing your eyes to look at the tv where a rerun of The Loud House was playing. “You really think its a good idea for me to talk to him?”You asked.You saw him nod from the corner of your eye,hearing your stomach rumble right after. “Yeah,I do.You should call him and ask him to hang out or something.I can invite Kelce over too so its not awkward and you two can either talk about it or not.Just being around him in that setting will probably make you less nervous.”He handed you the frozen coffee and a straw,wanting you to drink it.

 “How stressed have you been?”He asked,relieved when you took a sip of the coffee.You pulled away from the straw,sighing. “Why?Do I seem overly stressed?”You asked,trying to figure out how he could tell you were anxious.On top of being friends with you for over five years he also watched Criminal Minds.He probably knew shit about your anxiousness.

He shrugged,looking around to see where you had thrown your shirt. “Your house smells like brownies.You used to bake so you’d feel closer to food and you stress bake sometimes.When was the last time you ate?”He asked,making your eyes widen and your heart thump.Shit.You hadnt eaten since the last time you saw Rafe,three days ago. 

“Yeah,its been a while,hasn't it?”He asked,knowing that he had caught you. “Did you do this on purpose?”He asked,tracing figure eights on your kneecap. “No,i've just been really stressed.”You answered.He nodded,telling you to drink your coffee while he went to make you something.You sat on the couch,stirring the coffee and thinking again.The thought of him kissing you invaded your mind as you thought back to everything that had led up to it.

You had wrapped your legs around his waist but that wasnt something uncommon for you to do.You’d wrap your legs around him and your arms around his shoulders and make him carry you around like a toddler.Something told you it was just the way the situation was,he was really close to you and no one else was around so why the fuck not?That was probably all it was but your brain kept going back to the way your stomach felt and the way your heart sped up.

It was something that you hadnt felt before and your brain was probably just trying to recreate the feeling by forcing you to think about it for 72 hours straight.Yeah,that made perfect sense.Your phone dinged,causing your heart to drop into your ass.Fuck.You picked it up,not daring to look at the screen as you built up the courage to look at it.

Three….two...one.You looked at the screen,eyes widening when you saw who it was.It was your uncle,one that you hadnt spoken too since your fourteenth birthday.That was the first red flag before you even read the message. “Your mother’s with me.She’s not coming back.”Was all it said.He was in Italy which meant that your mother was too.She had no reason to be in Italy.This had to be some sort of sick joke.Maybe your Uncle’s wife had took his phone and texted that to you just to get you on edge.

Deep down you knew that it wasnt true,that you mother really wasnt coming back.Your eyes began to water,a few tears rolling down your cheeks.What the fuck were you gonna do?There was no knowing if she would pay the bills from Italy or if you would lose your house and everything you owned because of her.You let out a muffled sob,covering your mouth with your hand.Topper heard,running out of the kitchen.

 “Hey,whats wrong?Is it about Rafe?”He asked,kneeling in front of you and grabbing you a paper towel to blow your nose.You shook your head,watching as he picked up your phone and read the message across the screen. “Its gonna be okay,I promise,okay?”He began to rub your back,wishing the Rafe or Kelce was here since he wasnt the best at comforting you.Rafe was best at cuddling and Kelce was best at talking and Topper preferred to just be emotional support. “No-no she’s not coming back and im gonna lose the house and im fucked!”You sobbed,his arms wrapping tight around you. “No,no you’re not.We’ll figure it out.”He answered,making the decision to call Rafe and Kelce to come and help with the situation.

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[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

non-navigational maps

y/n's new to the giant busy crowds of new york so she wanted to ask someone for help

pairing: peter x fem!reader

status: strangerz

Warning: shy reader (idk if this is a warning but just in case)

y/n's POV

new york sure is loud, like really really loud. but thankfully i found a park or something so i can relax a bit and really look at my map. i couldnt understand a thing. seriously how do people use a thousand subways just to get to one place?

after a few minutes i gave up and tried to ask someone for help which isn't very fun for me considering i barely talk to strangers...too shy for all of that but my familly will murder me if i wasnt home by 6 and most importantly im STARVING. hmm lets see, a mom and her toddler? nah shes probably busy as it is trying to stop her little boys tantrum, the old man in the bench infront of me? yeah why not- nope his ice cream just spilled on his shirt poor thing. i wanted to help him out but someone already did, a boy i think wait no he looks older maybe my age?  i dont know, i can only see his back, his hair looked cute though soft, brown, light, did I mention soft?- ok y/n stop it.

"Damn it!" The old man cursed "should've gon for the vanilla" he shook his head, I laughed his comment, he 'should've' gotten vanilla coz his t-shirt was white and it wouldn't stain that much *laughing* ugh so wholesome

I heard another voice, a much younger voice. I looked up from my god damn map to meet the back of the boy who's helping the guy out, laughing at what he said. His laugh is cute too

"But chocolate tastes better sir, I think you made a great choice" he wiped the excess now I know chocolate ice cream off the old mans shirt

"I always make the right choices kid, the names Stan" the once grumbled old man, smiled just from an act of kindness by a boy my age, he held his hand for him to shake

"Peter, Peter Parker sir" he shook his hand and smiled he said something to Stan which made him laugh. I giggled from their interaction just happy from what I've witnessed. for some reason I find guys my age helping others attractive it really shows me how good of a person this guy is, it makes me feel like not all boys my age are bad, I don't know hopefully I'll see him soon

*A/N: YES IM PUTTING A STAN LEE CAMEO IN HERE, if you didn't ask...The old guy I'm talking abt is Stan lee ;)*

After looking at my map a billion more times to try and not talk to people I gave up again and kept looking around, since there wasn't anyone else in this side of the park I decided to walk, if I'm staying for a while might as well get some exercise am I right?

I walked for a few minutes until I found a group of benches again so I looked for someone unoccupied, not sketchy, and hopefully is in a good mood, till i found a beautiful woman probably in her 40s or something ( but she looked amazing though)

she seemed nice as well, she just had that vibe to her so i decided to ask her, yayy can you feel the sarcasm?? I'm TERRIFIED

she was sitting on the bench, lifting her glasses every once in a while to read the book she had in her hand. i slowly walked up to her, nervous. what should i tell her? that im new to the area and if i couldnt find a Mcdonalds soon ill turn into the next hulk? the nerves seemend to fade away once we we locked eyes, she had brown welcoming eyes, a smile ill probably never forget plastered on her face.

"hello sweetie, what can i do for you?" her voice was like honey sweet, and calming as well.

"oh uhm sorry to bother you but i- i am kinda lost and i-i cant find a burger place kind near the are-" i was a stuttering mess! But thankfully i got interrupted from humiliating myself...by the- who is this guy? Oh wait! That's the guy that helped the old man! Peter? Yeah Peter, Peter Parker

"sorry i took a while aunt may, theres this old guy named stan, he spilled his ice cream all over his shirt so i decided to help him and i bought him a new one! should we go..." the boy trailed off, he looked cute not gonna lie, he had the same features as the woman infront of me, brown eyes, soft brown hair, and a kind spirit definitely. "s-sorry was i interrupting something?" he rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed

"no its okay peter, this lovely lady right here is just lost would you be a doll and help her? im bad at maps as it is" she laughed pointing at me. the second he looked at me blood rushed to my cheeks, he really was cute. i gave him a small wave and a barely audible 'hi' but luckily he picked it up and replied with a 'hey'

"i-im"

"Peter, yeah I know. Kinda heard saw helping the guy out. That's really sweet of you...what you did" I blushed "a-a-anyways I'm y/n" I wiped my clammy hands on my jeans to take the sweat off quickly before he shook them.

"Uh nice to meet you too?" he fiddled with his hands his smile growing bigger with every second he looked at me "y-you needed help?" He asked blushing and also eyeing may like he's frustrated from her or something, I laughed at his face and opened the map in my hands

"Uhm, well i-I'm supposed to go to the 21st street 3rd Avenue or somethig by 6 coz my parents will kill me if I was late since were new here, but I think there's enough time to go find some burger place or something since I'm starving and there should be a Macdonalds around the corner right? Oh my god I'm so sorry I'm rambling...I do that a lot when I'm frustrated.....and hungry haha" I nervously laughed mentally kicking myself for being such an idiot to a boy I potentially liked

"Oh no no, I don't mind. So uh you live in queens?" He started off smiling a bit, I was scared for a second since i didn't tell him about that part how would he know that?

"Oh uhm, I'm from queens and the 21st street 3rd Avenue is in queens" he probably got nervous since he saw my slightly frightened face, but it softened once I knew that he wasn't a creepy stalker or some shit

"Y-yeah yeah queens, sorry" why the the fuck am I apologizing?

"No it's fine, you don't need to worry. You probably couldn't find the 21st because you held the map upside down?" he chuckled flipping the map and I just died in embarrassment like can the floor eat me or something?

"I'm such an idiot oh my god" I face palmed and laughed a little the world has something against me I am sure of it

"No you're not, you're new to the busy subways and noisy streets it's fine" he assured me and continued on chuckling, can this day get any worse? "well ironically there isn't a burger place near this area" well great "but t-theres this deli sandwich shop that I always g-go to, uhm I don't know if you'd like that but it's uh really good" he squeaked red swarming to his cheeks and the tip of his ears

"He can show you, if you want? Since you're new and everything he'll be happy to help" the woman buts in smirking, turns out she's been listening to our conversation than reading her book. She sent Peter a wink and packed her stuff

"But what about the library may, you said you wante-"

"It's ok Peter, just come home before 7 and be safe!" She patted his shoulder and gave me a smile. It all happened so fast but I smiled back. Guess I'm gonna go eat with a handsome stranger?

"Well uhm sorry about my aunt" he cleared his throat "wanna g-go grab a sandwich? It's like 10 minutes away and uh we have like" he checked his watch " 3 hours before it turns 6 so plenty of time..." he trailed off, I could either decline and not explore with a cute boy and get lost again? Or risk it and potentially get kidnapped....yeah the answer is pretty obvious

"..uhm yeah sure, let's go" I ushered him taking the map and stuffing it in my bag "well, after you"

I'm thinking of doing a part 2 idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

[words-for-holland]

Happier (6) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: A deep conversation between Tom & Y/N takes place. Tom offers a solution to Y/N’s problem, but does she take it?! Can Harrison convince her?

A/N: It’s a rather short chapter but a lot of Tom & Y/N action!! I absolutely love reading all your therories and comments! Thank you guys so much for reading & sticking around!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Betrayal

Its a vile word for the people you trusted your life with. Still in a state of shock, Y/N couldnt understand why Katie would have betrayed her like this. To think she was her best friend through thick and thin, always having each other’s back...it all seemed meaningless. Now here she was, packing up and trying to figure out where to go from here. London wasn’t an option and neither was the city with the rent being so high up.

As if her path was written by the stars, Tom had decided to call her the moment she started zipping up her bag. Y/N knew it wasn’t a good idea to answer, but it was almost instinctive in the moment. Truthfully, she needed someone. Someone to tell her it was going to be okay. “Hey, look. I know you probably hate me after the last time we talked on the phone like this, but I just wanted to say Im sorry.” Tom’s voice spoke softly through the phone as he let out a slight chuckle of nervousness.

Y/N smiled slightly as she listened to his voice. It was the most conforting thing she had heard, and could only imagine his voice wrapping around her to make her feel some sort of ease. “Yeah. No it’s um..it’s fine, really.” Y/N responds trying to calm her breathing after sobbing for the past hour.

“Yeah I guess, you were right. Maybe I was just jealous, because..I mean you already knownhow I feel. But you’re your own person so I can totally understand why you’d want to see new people. After all you broke up with me and—” Tom started getting more nervous as he continued to over explain his reasoning, but Y/N didnt seem to pay any attention as she lets out what was bothering her.

“Kate’s been crossing us.” She interrupts.

“Wait what? What do you mean?” Tom asks now more concerned, pushing the phone closer to his ear.

“She leaked information about Natalie staying thats where the rumors came from and she sent those pictures of Matt and I to Natalie’s publicist.” Y/N says as she closes her eyes.

Tom was more confused and in complete shock. Not understanding why Y/N’s most trusted best friend who do this to her. “Y/N...I dont know what to say..I’m sorry.” He replies, feeling defeated that there was nothing he could do, especially since she was so far away from him. Even if Y/N would have rejected his advances, he knew she needed him...now more than ever.

“Don’t be. It’s fine.” Y/N lies as she sits down on the bed, silently crying.

“No, it’s not Y/N. I know you’re hurting and I wish I could be there to do something about it.” Y/N smiles at his words. For every sad and painful moment, there would always be some sort of comfort. Tom was hers. For a moment...just one moment, she forgot about all the terrible things that happened. The betrayal, the rumors, Natalie. The moment felt like it was meant just for Tom and Y/N.

But not all moments last forever. Y/N’s phone went off, alerting her of a notification. In fear, she thought the unknown number was ready to leave another threat for talking to Tom, but it wasn’t. Though it was just a simple Twitter notification that came up, it showed that Tom and Natalie were out again on display for the Public. Casually flirting back and forth, with pictures of their social media interaction with each other. Her heart sank even more..if it was even possible.

He was still with her, even if it was pretend. Y/N thought back to when Natalie first arrived to stay with them, and how she slowly tried to flirt her way and spend time with Tom. She thought about how well they worked and looked good together, and how she left Tom saying “You’d be happier with her.” While it was all under the unknown’s plan to say those exact words, Y/N couldn’t help but feel some sort of truth to it. Certainly, she wasn’t happier with everything thats happened, but for Tom...at least he still had a chance to be happier with Natalie.

“Y/N? You still there?” Tom asked through the phone, when he didn’t hear Y/N say anything for a good while.

She shook her head to stop her thoughts as she replied, “Yeah...still here.”

“Oh okay. Good. I thought you hung up on me.” Tom laughs nervously. “Look, uhh maybe we should focus on what you’re gonna do. So do you have a place to stay?”

Y/N looks around as she sighs in defeat. “No. I’d find an apartment but the rent is so high here in the city especially for those that live alone, and I really dont feel like moving back in with my parents right now.”

Tom listened to her dilemma closely, when he offered without hesitation, “Come back here.”

“Tom, you know thats not an option nor a good idea for us. I told you we needed space, and I certainly don’t want to live under the same roof with a girl your fake dating at the moment.” She says in digust, voiced laced with anger.

“Calm down, Y/N. Im just offering you a solution and I could make sure you don’t see her. It’s a big house after all.”

“It’s not happening.” Y/N says quickly to end the dispute. Y/N stops to think about her other option, one Tom make not very well like. “Maybe I could ask Matt. I know he doesnt live too far from here.”

“Okay, now you’re being delusional. That’s definitely not happening.” Tom scoffs, as he thinks about the sickening idea. “I don’t want you near him.”

“You cant tell me what to do.”Y/N snaps at him. “Just like I’m not telling to stop being near Natalie, let alone enter a PR relationship.”

“Well at least Im being honest and open about it and not hiding it like an immature child.” Tom fires back. Y/N was at a loss with the way he responded to her. While she did keep it secret, deep down she knew it was for his own good..but he would never know. “Im sorry. I didnt mean it. It’s just...I wish you were more honest with me..with everything. It hurts you know.”

“Yeah..” Y/N whispers on the phone, feeling guilty and upset by where they’ve ended up. “I know. I’m sorry too. I want to be honest with you about everything but I cant for good reason.”

“No reason is good enough, if you have to keep secrets from people you love.” Tom says bluntly. “Look Im not gonna make you choose where you want to go from here. It’s your decision and life. Im just saying my door is always open for you...no matter how many times you hurt me.”

“It’s not your obligation Tom. I’ll be fine with whatever happens to me. I have to be, but thank you.” Y/N says as she bids him farewell.

As Y/N grabs her stuff and heads toward the door so do Harrison and Harry. “We booked a hotel for a night, if you want to stay with us.” Harry says as he tried his best to smile for her.

Y/N does in return and nods. “Yeah. Okay let’s go.”

Harry, Harrison, and Y/N made it to Aviary Hotel in silence. No one was sure what they should say to the other, when everything had gone to shit in the past month. Once everyone settled down, Harry decided to go down and grab food the group, while Harrison stayed to watch over Y/N in case she needed anything. “So, you told Tom, Im guessing?” Harrison asked, sitting across the other bed as he watched her intently.

Y/N nodded not saying anything as she brushed her hair avoiding eye contact. She thought for a moment deciding if she should tell him about what really happened in the phone conversation. “He and I fought..kinda I guess. I told him I didnt have a place to stay and he wanted me to stay with you guys, but I said it’s not a good idea and then I mentioned Matt, and everything went downhill from there.”

“Wait why not? Why can’t you stay with us?” Harrison asked.

Y/N gave him a look as if he didn’t know the reason already. His blue eyes shifting from surprise to realization. “Right, I forgot.” They sat in silence for a few seconds before Harrison interjects again. “You know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I know Natalie and the unknown number still poses a threat, not to mention risky, but it’d be unexpected for them.” He offered.

Y/N thinks hard about it, her brows furrowing. “Yeah okay...but how does this that make it any better knowing that Im living with my ex-boyfriend who is also living under the same roof with a girl that he’s fake dating not to mention your childhood friend, and may very well be the other person terrorizing me.”

Harrison looks at her as he rubs his face in embarassment. “Well..when you put it that way.”

“Harrison, you can put it in any other way you want, it’s still going to be a bad idea.” She says.

“Look just think about it, okay. Its a big house, and you can use the attic room upstairs if you dont want to see anyone and have schedules until we can sort all of this out. And if it bothers you that much I even have a friend that lives close by who also needs a roommate herself.”

Y/N looks at Harrison skeptically, as he weighs out her options. “You really out here trying to find a way to make me stay with you guys and leave home huh?”

Harrison smiles as he combs back his dirty blonde hair. “No, Y/N. This here?” He points out arms wide, gesturing to the room to represent New York. “It was your home. Your real home, whether you want to believe it or not, it’s with us back in London. I know everything has been rough between you and Tom, but we’re going to find a way. I promise.”

Y/N sheds a tear, as she hears Harrison speak. He was right. Home just didn’t feel like home anymore. Not without them, but as much as she wanted to say yes, the odds of it being okay were against her...that couldn’t be ignored.

“So what do you say?”

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[kchuarts]

Postponed

Warnings: FEELS AND SMUT

Summary: Astrid had fallen into a worm hole of space on accident whilst walking down an alleyway in NY. She finds herself on Sakaar and is suddenly declared a pleasure slave by the Grandmaster himself as he was captivated by her beauty once she was brought in for questioning. She is to either be gifted to a friend of the Grandmaster or become one of his personal chambermaids... By sheer dumb luck, it seems that Loki is quick enough to notice her and very hastily wishes for her to be a gift to him. She and Loki are to attend an orgy party later on and will die if they do not show..

A/N: So yeah. Smut. Also, this is inspired by a fic I read on Ao3. I cannot remember the title of it or the author so... Sigh. I'll have to look for it later on! I just wanted to write this smutsterpiece out and I know I still have to delve into Astrids character and pump out an information sheet for her but regardless, enjoy!

🔞 MINORS DO NOT INTERACT🔞

It was hard to pretend as if they didnt know each other when Astrid was unceremoniously thrown in front of the Grandmasters feet; managing to look up and just so happen to lock eyes with the God of Mischief. Had the prince not acted quickly and "claimed" her as a gift from the Grandmaster, he had turned down other girls previously, she would have been in a much worse situation.

"How in helheim did you end up on this trash heap?" Loki snapped in a hushed tone. They had finally been dismissed to Loki's suite and could at last speak to each other. Astrid shook her head and raised her hands, "I dunno! I just kinda sorta was walking on my way to see Tony and I fell through the ground." She dropped her arms. Lokis lip twitched at the mention of Stark and remembering the ever so clever nickname he had given him. "A wormhole?" Loki raised a brow. The brunette woman shrugged, sighing and sitting at the edge of the very large bed. "I guess..." her gaze focused on the floor and she began to chew on her nails.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Loki cleared his throat, slowly walking over to the bed and sitting beside Astrid, looking at her to see if she was ok. Her features looked troubled. The prince studied her structure and sighed softly to himself. From the very first time they met, he was instantly captivated by her beauty and quick wit. Of course, he would never admit that outloud, however there was just something about this woman that had his heart ache for her so. Perhaps it was the similar family issues? How she showed him genuine kindness and didnt try to kill him? Her ironic trust and interest?

"Loki, I-" the god quickly snapped out of his thoughts as Astrid spoke up. "Yes...?" He raised his brows. "I-I can't do this. I can't go." Her ocean eyes were staring to form tears. Loki's face darkened quickly, "Astrid you- we have to. We will die if we do not go to that... That cess pool he calls a party. Trust me, I am not jumping up and down to go either-" he was cut short "I've never had sex." Astrids lip quivered and she shook her head, "I'm scared. I don't want anyone to touch me like that."

Great. Now Loki REALLY didn't want to go. It was not so much himself he was worried or bothered by, but her. Something heavy swelled inside of Loki's chest as he pictured other men, including the Grandmaster, touching and violating Astrids body. Her pleas of help and stop being unanswered. How come he felt such emotion towards this mortal woman!? She was beneath him!... Beneath him.. The images turned to her writhing under him and moaning his name. Loki inhaled sharply and looked into her eyes. "I've a proposition for you, my little song bird." He tucks a stray hair behind her ear, smirking as redness bloomed across her cheeks.

"Y-Yes." Astrids eyes sparkled. "What? You dont even know what I was going to say." Loki was taken a back by her sudden eagerness and because of this, was taken by surprise as well being shoved on the bed; the brunette straddling his hips. "Whoa, whoa, whoa hold on." The prince grabbed Astrids trembling hands as she had started to mess with his pants. The girl stopped and looked up at him, tears still threatening to spill. "I want it to be you." She choked out, averting her gaze. "Are you absolutely certain, little one?" His tone softened. "I have no qualms against this... But I need to hear you say it and confirm it. You are probably the only mortal I tolerate and I want to respect your wishes. However, I will say that the thought of you being violated by those swine makes my vision red. I wish there was another way." His hand moved from hers to softly turn her gaze back on him.

Astrid felt as though she was on fire, her heart beat 100 miles per hour almost. This being.. This beautiful man.. How she wish she could fully trust her heart to him and spill her feelings for him, but he was a god after all and the one who claimed the title of mischief and lies. Astrids lips parted as she was about to give her answer when there was a sudden rapping at the door. She made a little noise of surprise as Loki threw her on the bed, his arms trapping her beneath him. "No one but me shall touch you." He gently whispered to her before removing himself from his current position. "We are almost ready, dear Grandmaster!" The prince almost said in a very fake sing song tune. A guard stepped through the door instead, "Change of plans, Prince Loki. There has been an assassination attempt on the Grandmasters life and he is violently ill at the moment. We do hope you understand that the party is being postponed until then." The guard bowed and quickly shut the door as he heard his companions yelling for him to hurry back.

Loki turned to face the woman still splayed on his bed, letting out a sigh of relief. "Well then my song bird.. Looks like you havent a thing to worry about now." He gave her a small smile. Astrid sat up, biting her lip and sliding the straps of her slave dress down to reveal her ample chest. A rosy color bloomed upon her cheeks as she continued to undress in front of her beloved. The god couldnt help but stand in shock. "You're serious?" A smirk formed on Loki's lips as he sauntered toward her, keeping eye contact with her as he pinned her down once more. Astrid nodded quickly, her trembling hands reaching up and gently cupping his defined cheeks. "I only want you." She almost whispered under her breath. Her gaze turned from his, her heart racing so fast that she thought if he listened close enough, he would hear her heart.

The Princes gaze softened slightly at her shyness. This mortal was simply too adorable for him to ever admit out loud. He leaned down, his rich voice traveling through the womans body "I will be gentle for now, but know after this..." he nipped at her neck, chuckling softly at her sudden gasp l, "You. Are. Mine." He turned her gaze back to his own, pressing his lips against hers.

Ok so what did you guys think!? I was gonna write out the full smut, but I think I'll just make this a teaser.

If you liked this and would like to hear more, please leave a comment below! I'd love to get some feedback.

Like I've stated, I'm VERY rusty and I'm working on getting Astrids character sheet and a drawing of her started.

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i  dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 

until next time, remember.......

[mimiiis]

Can't Take My Eyes Off You [Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader]

part 1 of Let's Call A Heart A Heart

At long last love has arrived and I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you.

-

Summary: he finds her 70 years in the future,but she doesn't remember .

Warnings: small mention of death, couple of curse words

A/n: lets just pretend that steve cares abt bucky and endgame never happened 😳✋

!!!really very sorry this took forever!!! I was a bit held back by some family and personal issues i hope you all understand

**** 

"Y/n M/n L/n was born in the year of 1920. She had a close relationship with the hero Captain America and his best friend, James Buchanan Barnes, since their childhood. When James had been declared dead on a mission and when the Captain had gone under the ice, she had seemed to disappear as well. not a single trace of her was found until the year of 1947 when a young woman on the side of the highway was found dead. the woman had all the exact features Y/n had. therefore, Y/n M/n L/n had been declared dead at the age of 27 " Friday spoke.

"fuck" bucky sighed under his breath

When Barnes and Rogers had seen the girl who looked oh so much like Y/n at the small market, they hurried back to the compound to look up on what had happened to her. They searched through all the books about Captain America and Howling Commandos to see if they had any information on her but none did. not even a single mention of her name. so, they asked friday to help look around some files to see what information they had about her.

"is there anything else that happened after I went under?" Steve asked

"she didn't go missing until 1946. in the short while she was still around, she was close friends with Margaret Carter and Howard Stark. She was Barnes lover, according to an interview with Carter."

"alright. thanks Friday" He replied

"this is hopeless. what if we never see her again?" Bucky whined, throwing his head back and covering his face with his hands

"back at the market, you said you had an idea of how she's still 'alive'. what is it?" Steve asked

Bucky looked at his friend with a face of uncertainty before shaking his head and looking down

"it's just.. it's just that before I left I... we promised each other that we'd see each other again. In this or my "past" life. That when we see each other we'll finally be happy together. but it's just a silly promise.." He said, quieting down and whispering the last part

The two stayed quiet before Steve finally spoke again

"what if it's not just a silly promise? what if fate wants to get you two back together?" he blurted out

"Steve that's ridicul-"

"you two made that promise so long ago. made a promise that you'd see each other in a new or the same life. well, you basically have a new life and so does she. and you just saw her again. have at least some hope" He said

He grabbed his friend by the shoulders and stared him in the eyes

" just a small ounce"

Barnes looked into his eyes.

Steve wanted him to be happy. He wanted his best friend to be happy. happy with the girl he loved. happy with the girl he loves.

So, he nodded his head

"yeah, yeah okay"

and smiled

-

In a small apartment in Brooklyn, a girl by the name of Y/n L/n paced around her room while on the phone.

"Oh c'mon! you gotta go! you hardly get out nowadays and this is like, a once in a lifetime thing!" A girl yelled from Y/n's phone

"Tony Stark hosts parties like every month, Charlie" Y/n replied, chuckling

"oh fuck you, you know what I mean."

"yeah yeah"

"but pleeease Y/n!! you hardly get out of the house and i really wanna take you" Charlie begged

"I'll think about it" Y/n responded

"yay!!," her friend yelled ," alright so the party is at 7 pm sharp tomorrow and ill pick you up at 6:30, okay? okay. Bye!!" Charlie yelled before hanging up

"Hey i said I'll think about i- and she hung up" Y/n sighed.

She threw her head back and laughed.

"What am I going to do with that girl?" she chuckled before walking over to her bed and turning off all the light

As she lay on her bed, drifting off into sleep, she heard a voice call out to her

One that she's heard before but can't quite put a finger on who it was.

All she could remember was that it made her heart ache in a way she's never felt.

-

-

1937

"c'mon Buck! You can do it!" Y/n cheered, looking down at a boy who was a few feet away from her as she sat on a tree branch.

"How'd you get up there so fast?!" Barnes panted, throwing his body onto a branch right beneath hers and pulling himself to a seating laying position.

"You're just getting old I guess" Y/n snickered, her head right over his. she was now with her stomach laying vertically across the branch so she could see him better.

"oh shut up i'm only two years older than you" He said, pushing her head away from him.

They both laughed as Y/n came down to sit in front of him.

"soo, anything new going on?" she asked the boy

"eh not really. Steve keeps picking fights with the school bullies and I have to keep breaking them up so" James responded

"oh that boy.. will he ever learn?" Y/n laughed

"probably not" He laughed with her

Their laughing slowly faded away into silence. a comforting silence.

The sound of beach waves crashing against each other and onto the shore was the only noise that could be heard.

that was until James spoke

"Bo" he started

Y/n hummed in response, not bothering to look at him since she was looking at the sunset

"i think...I'm thinking of telling this girl i like that i uh, like her" he stuttered

Y/n's head then shot into his direction.

She stared at him with wide eyes..Her heart shattered as she forced a smile onto her lips

"that's good.. very good" she whispered, more to herself than him

"when are you planning on tell her?" she continued to talk to keep herself distracted from crying

"I'm thinking tomorrow, at sundown.. around this time" he responded

she nodded her head as he continued to speak

"you think she likes you back?" Y/n asked

"not sure to be honest, but i have a good feeling that she might" James said

Bo kept nodding her head as she faced the opposite direction of where he was.

Tears slowly trickled down her face but she quickly wiped them away with her sleeve

"you good?" Bucky asked

"yeah just, allergies" She sniffed, focing out a small laugh

he let out a small hum in response and they fell back into silence

but it was awkward this time

they were both keeping something from each other and they were too scared to say it

so it was left at that

-

-

Present

The sound of Y/n's alarm clock rang loudly throughout her room

The sun beams peeking in through her curtains and onto her face woke her up more

She lifted herself from the bed and got ready for the day

-

"So what exactly do you wear to a Tony Stark party?" Y/n asked Charlie

"well, i usually just wear something classy but casual" Charlie replied

After Charlie told Y/n about the party last night and hung up on her rather quickly and didnt give any time to establish details, Y/n called again in the morning for them to agree to go out shopping to buy Y/n an outfit and get ready at Charlie's place.

So, here there were. Walking around New York, looking for a dress

"Oh youre gonna love it, Y/n!" Charlie exclaimed.

"The Avengers are everything you'd ever dream of. Hotter up close too" the girl winked at her friend.

Charlie was a very energetic girl with curly ginger hair, brown eyes, and a face full of freckles. Charlie and Y/n had known each other since their college days. Both studied in the arts and became very close.

After graduating, Charlie started to work for Stark Industries and was very close to Tony Stark. She helped with all the iron suit designs.

She was so close to him she basically got invited to every event Tony held. Even events such as Morgans birthday parties. but now was the first time she was allowed a plus one. and she wanted Y/n to go.

"Didn't you 'sleep' with Thor?" Y/n asked, laughing

"I did! We even had a small thing going on but i guess it couldnt work" Charlie said, pretending to sound hurt at the end

"You're stupid" y/n laughed

"Oh shush. You know, maybe we can find someone for you. Cap is still single you know? You're probably his type. Oh! Or maybe his buddy Bucky!" exclaimed the ginger haired girl

"Bucky?" Y/n asked

"Yeah, Bucky. The Winter Soilder?"

"oh yeah..."

They continued to walk along but Y/n couldn't get the name out of her head

Bucky

Bucky

Bucky

Why was it so familiar?

-

-

1937

It was a quite afternoon.

Y/n sat laying on her couch, listening to her vinyl play.

The orange and yellow lights softly streaming in from the windows set a comforting mood.

She was listening to Billie Holiday as she read her book.

It was the day after she had gotten her heartbroken by James. So she tried to distract herself by doing the things that comforted her the most.

A peaceful environment.

Until James came busting through the door

He was breathing heavily and was crouching down. His hands on his knees as he tried to collect himself. His hair a mess and his body was sweating.

"Buck? What happen-" Y/n gasped, running over to him

"Y/n! Doll! I-" he began to have a coughing fit, walking over to her too

"Bucky tell me what's wrong-"

"I need to tell you something first!" He yelled at her, standing up correctly and grabbing her by the shoulders all of us sudden.

They looked into each others eyes. James' more intense and Y/n's scared yet confused.

His eyes then started to close slowly.

"James-"

She was cut off.

His lips pressed against her soft ones.

Her eyes went wide as she realised what was happening.

She slowly closed hers too and savored the moment.

Then they pulled away.

Their breathing and the music softly playing in the background were the loudest thing

"What was that for?" She asked, her cheeks red from embarrassment

"I uh.. I like you. And have for a long time. Ever since we were little. I always just though it was a weird crush and that i'd get over it but then I've recently found that just the thought of being without you makes me sick. It's okay if you don't like me the way i like you i just needed to get this off my chest because being around you just- just makes me want to explode. It was getting late so I had to run over and tell you around this time like I said yesterday and I couldn't wait another day or have you think I had told an other girl.. Do you- do you know what i mean?" He blurted out

Y/n stared at him in silence.

Trying to process what had just happened.

And she started to laugh

She laughed so hard she fell to the floor

"Y/n? Doll? Bo?" He asked, worried.

She then knocked him over so he was on the floor too.

She moved on top of him and started to kiss his face.

"I like you too, you big dum dum!" She continued to laugh

"Then why are you laughing?" He laughed back, grabbing her waist and flipping her over so she was on the ground now

"Because. What you said yesterday really had me thinking that you were in love with some random girl that you probably don't know crap about." She smiled, her hand coming up to fix his hair.

He grabbed it and started to give small kisses.

"Bo.. My bo" he started whispering.

He laid himself down against her and pressed his ear up against her.

"My bo..." He said before drifting off into silence

Y/n smiled to herself before kissing his forehead and closing her eyes

Her mind wondered off into a far off place of the future and happiness, not knowing what was to come

-

-

Present

It was now 7:40 pm.

Y/n and Charlie were running late to the party.

"Hurry your ass up!" Charlie yelled at her friend from afar.

Y/n, who was running towards her, yelled back, "It's hard to run in heels!"

"Oh shush yours aren't even that tall!" Charlie laughed as Y/n caught up and now stood next to her

Y/n rolled her eyes as they continued to walk

Earlier in the day, it had taken Y/n 5 stores to finally find a dress both she and Charlie liked

It was a short red dress that hugged her curves perfectly. It showed her collarbones and stopped right above her breasts with the sleeves atop her shoulders and stopping almost midway on her arms. She wore her hair down to complete the look.

As for Charlie, she wore a green dress with spaghetti straps and a flowy bottom. The back was open with a bow tied on the bottom part and her hair in a bun.

As the girls entered the compound, they were greeted with the sounds of loud music and screams of enjoyment

"So uh, want me to show you around?" Charlie yelled, loud enough for her friend to hear.Looking around at the large crowd up people, Y/n yelled,"yes please!"

-

The first 15 or so minutes were Charlie showing Y/n around until Charlie finally led Y/n to a far off corner where Tony Stark and a couple of avengers sat.

"Noods!" Stark yelled as soon as he saw Charlie, getting up out of his chair to walk towards her

"Stank!" She yelled back, walking towards him and pulling him into a hug

"Noods?" Y/n giggled at the nickname

"As in noodles! Have you seen her hair when she hasn't done it!" Tony yelled

Y/n continued to giggle as Charlie gave Tony a playful smack across the head.

"Tony this is my friend, Y/n, the one I always talk to you about" the ginger said

"Pleasure to meet you, Y/n" Stark greets her with a hand shake

"Pleasure is all mine" She smiled

"ah! Meet the rest of the team. This is Clint, Pepper, Nat, Wanda, and Bruce" Charlie said, grabbing Y/n's arm and motioning to everyone at the table

"Hi" Y/n smiled and gave a small wave

"Hi!"

"Hello!"

"'Sup"

Was heard as they all gave their greetings

Wanda invited Y/n over to sit next to her as Charlie went off to go bring drinks

"So! What brings you here?" Wanda asks

"I was forced not gonna lie" Y/n replied

"yeah Charlie does that. You tell her maybe as she's already planning the whole thing." Wanda laughed

"Not even! I bet she already has everything reserved and bought before she even asks you!" Y/n laughed along with the girl

They seemed to get along well

-

Upstairs where all the Avengers living quarters were, 3 men in casual suits made their way to the party.

Sam Wilson, Steve Rogers, and James Barnes

"It's all Barnes' fault we're late" Wilson joked

"No one asked you to wait for me" Barnes replied

"Hmn..I blame Steve"

"Excuse me?" Roger's said in a slightly offended tone

Barnes and Wilson laughed at his reaction

The trio slowly got closer to the loud sound of music playing. They looked over the crowd to see almost hundreds of people dancing, drinking, or chatting the night away. In the center of it all was a large dance floor where many drunk men and women danced to the newest trendy hip hop song. Next to the mess was a bar where people came and left every few seconds.

They made their way down the stairs as the song suddenly changed

An Elvis song started blasting from the speakers and several screams were heard as more and more people rushed to the floor tp dance.

-

"Oh i love this song!" Wanda yelled to Y/n

The girls had been chatting away about the most random things when the song had changed. And when it did Wanda grabbed Y/n by the arms and led her towards the dance floor.

As Y/n was being pulled, a certain figure at the top of the staircase caught her eye.

He had long scruffy brown hair and a red dress shirt tucked into some black pants from what she could see.

A spark inside of her then lit up. A feeling that was close enough touch but not hold.

Was it longing?

Sadness?

She couldn't think about it for too long before she and Wanda were in the middle of the dance floor making the weirdest movements to go along with the song.

-

Atop the staircase was Bucky chatting away with Natasha who had come up to find him.As they chatted he turned his head towards the large crowd until someone caught his eye.

A girl in a vibrant red dress being pulled across the dance floor. She had a smile on her face as she looked up at him.

Bo?

He felt a pang in his chest and the world stopped.

"So tony just wanted me to ask you if-" Natasha was cut off

"Hey, I'm sorry but I ,uh, need to go..." He said in the quietest voice as he started to head down the stairs.

"Barnes?"

He payed no attention for his mind was only set on one thing

-

As the song came to an end, a new one began.

Can't Take My Eye's Off You by Frankie Valli

The soft slow music began before Y/n told Wanda she was going to go find Charlie for she had been gone too long.

-

A new song had started when Bucky had finally managed to get through a large crowd

A soft tune started to play

He made his way into the dance floor with one purpose, find Y/n.

-

At this point Y/n was lost in the crowd. It wasn't a large dance floor its just that it was har for her and she couldn't navigate where she was going with so many people.

So, she helplessly wandered to find a way to escape the pushing of bodies

-

The song picked up a pace when James had searched through most of the crowd but still couldn't find the girl.

The flickering lights and moving of people every second made it harder

-

The speakers blasted with the sounds of trumpets going off

A circle of women jumped up and down, knocking Y/n back and she bumped into a large figure.

Then it went quite for a second

She turned around and saw him

-

Barnes had almost began to think she might've left the dance floor when he couldn't find her.

Until someone bumped into him.

He look to his side and his eyes went wide.

-

The sound of people screaming the lyrics was only heard

"I love you baby! And if its quite alright i need you baby..."

James Barnes looked down at the girl standing besides him.

Y/n Y/l/n.

"Bo?"

***

Taglist:

@perrythefrickinplatypus , @fresa-luna , @hotheadbarnes , @msrawog

!Taglist is open!

[yoongihoseok97]

Cookies & kisses💋

.BTS Jungkook.

Summary- Jeon Jungkook is a broke college student who’s just trying to get his degree and find his place in the world but things aren’t always that easy. Especially when you’re only 21 years old and have a 4 year old daughter.

Warnings- Mentions of underage sex, brief mentions of past drug & alchol abuse. Mentions of past depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts. Quite a bit of swearing but nothing too harsh, don’t read if you’re sensitive to anything mentioned above.

Word count- 2.4k

-

A trail of ‘sorry’s and ‘excuse me’s left Jungkooks mouth as he pushed his way through the overcrowded hallway of tired and depressed collage students. His afternoon class had ran over and he had to get to the daycare a little under a mile away in under 5 minutes if he wanted to pick his daughter up in peace without all the judgemental moms rolling their eyes at him for not being on time. It’s happened more times then he’d like to admit and Jungkook would be lying if he said the fellow parents stares weren’t intimidating. Now the young dad knew that being a single father in collage would get him a bad reputation, the tattoos covering his muscular body doesn’t help with anything either but he’s learnt to ignore the disapproving glares from strangers and to just focus on himself and his precious little girl.

He ran as fast as he could to the nursery, considering himself victorious when he arrived at 3:31pm, only a minute late and the class hadn’t even came out yet. He smiled slightly to himself before looking around awkwardly to see only a few stares from both Teacher’s and parents which made him huff and cross his arms over his chest, emphasising the tattoos covering his toned arms in a way to tell them he isn’t interested in what they have to say. Who do they think they are, looking down at him and his daughter like they’re some specks of dirt on their shoe. It honestly angered him more than anything, everyone thinking he can’t raise his own daughter well because of his age, everyone thinking he’s a bad father because of how he looks and the bad things he did in the past. He had moved on from those times and he liked to think he’s even grown as a person which is something only a few people seemed to believe.

His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a door opening and a crowd of excited children running towards him like a mini stampede and a smile is instantly spread across his face when he sees his beautiful little girl skipping towards him. “Daddy!” Eunha squealed as she jumped into her fathers arms, obviously happy to see him after a long day of being apart. “Hey baby how are you?” He said whilst picking the small girl up, kissing her cheek before making his way out of the now crowded playground. “It was so fun daddy! We did painting and drawing all day and look I made you something!” Jungkook stopped a moment, looking down happily at his daughter who’s hands were carrying a rather large card that had “Merry Christmas Daddy!” Written on the front in various different colours and a picture of the two of them with a Christmas tree full of presents in the background.

“Baby this is beautiful, thank you princess.” Jungkook said emotionally. He was so happy to have someone so precious in his fucked up life that brought him happiness and peace, something the father didn’t think he deserved.

The two made it home after about 15 minutes of walking, they lived in a big apartment just outside of campus with three of Jungkooks best friends. He originally wanted a small house for just the two of them but after talking with they boys he realised moving in with them would be cheaper and it meant he had someone to help take care of Eunha if needed. Some people would question if living with 4 men was a good thing for the young girl but Jungkook would always shut down the comments, insisting that he’d known the three for years and Taehyung, Seokjin and Hoseok adored Eunha and would do anything to help.

“We’re back” The raven haired boy shouted, putting Eunha down so she could run off into the lounge to play. “In here” Taehyung shouted back from his position presumingly in the kitchen. His suspicion was met when he walked in and saw his hyung raiding the cookie draw. “Hyung, Jin literally brought those this morning and you know how he gets when you open food straight away” the younger laughed as Taehyung rolled his eyes at the comment. “That’s not my problem, if he would let me then I’d do the food shopping but he doesn’t so he’s just gonna have to deal with it” Jungkook just laughed at his friends rant, grabbing his phone and scrolling through his most recent notifications.

“Tae oppa!” Eunha grinned, her curly long brown hair bounced as she ran towards her favourite (don’t tell jin) uncle. Jungkook and tae had been best friends since elementary school and when the younger told him he was gonna be a dad he didn’t judge him like everyone else did. Don’t get him wrong he was shocked of course; and a little sympathetic for the inexperienced teenager,but he stuck by him and helped him through everything. So it was kinda natural that his daughter had the best bond with him considering he was practically Eunha’s second dad. “Princess” he laughed as he picked the youngster up, twirling her around in circles resulting in the cutest giggles squeaking out of her mouth. Jungkook gazed lovingly at the sight before him, the sweet sound of his daughters laugh never failed to make him smile.

“Dad said that you’re looking after me a bit today” she informed him looking up into Taes eyes, grabbing a strand of his hair and playing with it between her small fingers. The elder looked at the father with a raised eyebrow as the younger mouthed ‘please hyung’ with pouty lips that Taehyung could never say no to. “Of course I am sweetie and we’re gonna have lots of fun, why don’t you go into your room and find something for us to play with” he smiled, carefully putting her down with a kiss on the cheek before she giggled and skipped out of the room. “I’m sorry Tae I got a call earlier from my professor and he said he needed to talk to me and I know it’s late notice and I should have asked you first but-”

“Jungkook it’s fine, don’t worry about it just call me when you’re on your way home” Taehyung smiled and patted him on the back. “Thanks hyung, I shouldn’t be too long.” He quickly turned and made his way out of the room, grabbing his phone and keys from the side before kissing Eunha on the forehead and making his way back out of the door.

The young dad sighed to himself as he strolled through the fairly busy park, it was mid May so the summer heat had just hit Seoul like a truck and Jungkook wasn’t particularly ready for it. A black and red checkered hoodie, thick black jeans and boots covered his muscular frame and he was starting to hate himself for his choice of clothing. A thin layer of sweat covered his forehead making his raven black hair stick slightly and Jungkook hated how it made his body itch but didn’t bother wiping it as he knew it would only make things worse, choosing to walk under the shade that the oak trees decorating the park provided.

Lighting up a cigarette the young male looked around the crowded park, the new weather brought about hundreds of different people; from students to families with small children of similar ages to Eunha, the sight of a couple and their daughter playing happily and laughing made him feel somewhat guilty. A feeling he felt quite often these days. It’s not that Jungkook regretted become a father at the young age of 17, of course he would have preferred to be a bit older before he had children but he wouldn’t change it for the world. It was more the fact Eunha didn’t have a mother figure in her life and he could tell that it’s effecting her more ways then she would admit. Seeing all the other kids at her nursery being picked up by their moms and all the little girls having pretty braided hair in fancy clips and scrunchies that Jungkook just couldnt figure out how to master no matter how hard he tried. Obviously Mother’s Day was the hardest, especially now that she went to school where everyone else was making ‘best mom ever!’ cards for their beloved parent, however she drew her dad a picture, a colourful sketch of herself, Jungkook and her 3 uncles instead and as much as he knew his daughter loved him with all her heart, she would love to have a mother figure too.

So lost in his thoughts Jungkook didn’t realise he had arrived at his professors office. He threw the cigarette on the floor and stomped it into the ground before taking a deep breath and gently knocking on the door. A small ‘Come in’ echoed throughout the room and Jungkook slowly made his way into the overheated room. “Ah Jungkook, nice to see you! Take a seat.” His professor, Dr Thomas said way to enthusiastically for a Monday afternoon. Upon taking his seat Jungkook quickly became overwhelmed by the amount of papers that were placed in front of him. “Do I even know what all of these papers are?” The student asked eyeing up the never ending pile of papers of all colours. Chuckling at Jungkooks reluctantly “Don’t worry, they’re not all as bad as it seems.” The teacher joked rummaging through the pile to pull out a rather bright booklet that stated ‘Grease The musical!’ on the front cover in big bold letters and handing it to the confused student.

“Erm sir.. I’m not a musical theatre major, why are you giving me this?” Jungkook questioned looking down at the script in his tattooed hands. It made no sense to him as to why his professor was giving him this, he’d never been interested in acting or even going to see a theatre production so this was completely random to him. “Now Jungkook that’s what I needed to speak to you about” he paused, “I’m pretty sure you’re aware of this but you’re failing my class and well it’s my job to not let that happen” The middle aged man smiled keenly. “Now this big ol’ pile of rubbish is all of the projects you can do for extra credit and I spoke to your friend Hoseok Jung and asked him about your interests and he said performing arts is one of them!” He said gesturing to the never ending stack of scripts and god knows what else.

Grunting quietly Jungkook slowly flicked through the pages of the script in front of him “So what do I have to do? Just pick one of these and help out backstage or something? Cause I’m not really an actor, more of a dancer” He asked looking up at the man in front of him. “Now, Hoseok said that might be the case so I asked the head of Musical theatre if you could help out somehow with the choreography and you’re in luck! Their main choreographer had to drop out so all you have to do is go and tell Professor Richards that you’re up for the job, perform a piece of your own choreography in an audition and boom extra credit sorted!” Dr Thomas exclaimed, clapping excitedly for his student.

Smiling slightly at the mans excitement Jungkook nodded “Thanks for sorting all this out sir I really appreciate it.” He said standing up, wiping his sweaty palms onto his thighs before offering his hand for the teacher to shake. “No worries, oh how’s Eunha by the way? You haven’t brought her into class recently .” Dr Thomas asked curiously letting go of Jungkooks hand.

The student had been taking his daughter into his lectures since he started the university. It was extremely hard for him back then considering he was a single, 19 year old father with nothing but hopes and dreams of graduating with a degree in engineering science. He didn’t have anyone to take care of Eunha during his classes due to his friends being tied up in their own schedules and his parents were always busy at work so bringing her into class with him had been his only option. Mr Thomas had been extremely supportive of Jungkook and his situation, so much that he even made a small children section in the corner of the class that had a few books and toys to keep Eunha occupied whilst her father was listening to the lecture. The young student was beyond thankful for everything he had done for him. If it wasn’t for him Jungkook doesn’t think he would have coped.

A proud smile came over his face as his daughter was mentioned. He loved to talk about his pride and joy and he jumped at every chance he could to brag about her brilliance. “She’s doing really well sir, she just started nursery so I don’t have to bring her In anymore.” He explained happily. “That’s fantastic Jungkook! You’ll have to bring her in to see me one of these days, anyway I’ll let you go. See you soon son.” Jungkook smiled once again and waved before stepping out of the office, the fluorescent pink script looking out of place in his inked hands.

The student paused as soon as he made it out of the office, a sigh making its way out of his mouth. How the hell is he gonna be able to fit this into his schedule? Jungkook was a busy man, he had a 4 year old daughter for God’s sake! How is he meant to choreograph for all 10 songs, teach the choreography, study and look after his child and himself all at once? Shaking his head he carried on walking, pulling out another cigarette to calm himself down. He knew he shouldn’t smoke as much as he does but it was an old habit he just couldn’t get rid of no matter what he tried. The youngster carried on walking home, a million different thoughts swerving round in his head. He didn’t know what he was going to do for this audition. Didn’t know if he should just turn back around and tell his professor to forget it and let him fail. He wanted the latter but he knew he couldn’t do that. He had to pass this class. He needed to make his daughter proud.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Dreamcatcher’s “Breaking Out”

MY TIME HAS FINALLY COME

ITS TIME FOR ME TO GO CRAZY AAAAAAAAAAA GO STUPID AAAAAAAAAAA ON TEXT POST THE TIME IS NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL SOMNIE MODE ACTIVATED DONT LOOK AT ME (added mv instead so bc there are already TOO MANY pictures)

there are no read mores here so im sorry (im actually gonna apologize this time this is long™) IM GONNA BE VERY SPECIFIC

hella pictures, links, and words youve been warned™

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG i think a lot of us would agree that the introduction threw us off (i was also one of those people) but to be honest i dont mind it AT ALL?????? that kinda harmonizing sound during here and here i dunno what that is but i was vibing hard with it i really liked it and yeah it is different from their usual style but once i heaRD THAT GUITAR IT WAS OVER FOR ME I COULDNT- like i wanna bounce but i also wanna headbang at the same time

i mentioned this to gwen @wickymicky tho one thing i would say is i just WISH this song went harder??? i dunno how to describe it exactly but something heavier??? i wish i knew how to elaborate on what that means im sorry but i just know thats what i feel but other than that im very satisfied with this song!!!!!!

yoohyeon starts the song as if i wasnt vibrating with excitement already like her singing voice is just sounds so pleasant???? HIT ME WITH THAT SILENT NIGHT SILENT NIGHT i personally liked this part in the middle and how it built up into the chorus i FELT THAT IN MY BONES

MISS JIU YOUR VOICE its so soft yet powerful just like you GENERALLY LIKE HOW!!!!!!!!! youre literally the second person to sing and you got two things from me: 1. F UCKED UP and 2. my heart........................... like her bridge part just SO PERFECT LIKE YOU DONT UNDERSTAND-

S U A YOU CANT BE KILLING ME WITH NO WAY NO WAY LIKE WERE STILL IN AND THERE WAS NO ONE LEFT just something about her tone.................. im- pairing her with jiu for THIS my heart and my ears, yknow what ALL OF ME is just so happy and ‘you cant stop my heart’ well you sure stopped mine with your voice-

there is SO MUCH DAMI??????? THERE ARE TEARS???? IN MY EYES???? i was shocked to hear her so early on in the song but i welcomed it with open arms i love her deep voice so much her parts were nice (tho a little off as in not very ‘dami-like’ if you will not usual to her parts in their other songs) BUT when she was saying that part with love, lost, and hide it and her part at 2:31.......................... pls.....

HANDONG P L E A S E her parts at 0:40 and 1:39 were small but they sounded SO pleasant im cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a moot of mine mentioned in her tags somewhere about how handong’s voice sounds silky and like...................... thanks for saying it bc youre sO RIGHT like i cant even describe it in depth to yall bc it just makes me feeL GOOD hearing it!!!!!!!!

miss lee gahyeon hitting me with something gentle at 0:44 but then hitting me with this at 1:31 like with handong her parts are small but still impactful!!!! her voice is so nice to listen to like it sounds smooth??? i cant Words™ but yknow what im saying right-

SIYEON I COULD LITERALLY LISTEN TO YOUR VOICE FOREVER her voice for the chorus................ IM CRYING ITS SO CATCHY!!!!!!!!! SO BREAKING OUT OF THE DARK NIGHT is literally stuck in my head i cant- her voice is just SO unique right??? like its so powerful and it jUST H I T S YOU FULL FORCE side note: i found myself waving my hand with her when she sings bye bye thats so dorky of me leave me alone

THE DANCE L I S T E N i was PLANNING on trying my hand at gifs but i was impatient and we all know that pictures WILL NOT do this choreography justice but AS ALWAYS THEY COME THROUGH WITH SOME GOOD ASS CHOREO it doesnt hit as hard as their other dances but that doesnt bother me- there was a lot of Hands™ like a lot of emphasis on the hands and gestures (will mention more later) UUUUUM the dancing during the chorus with so much arm swinging and they all hit the air so hard with their elbows and fists i could really just feel that energy?? like all the effort and power they put into their dancing and to give it their all???? aka i feel tired just watching them dance

two parts i REALLY wanted to gif: 1. when yoohyeon does this with her hands up to 1:30................................... thanks and 2. this part with jiu and sua together................................... thanks x2

BONUS PICTURES:

so this pose is like their thing now right?????? this is from what???? i dunno what this means here but like im glad they have a cool pose that represents them

OKAY TWO THINGS: this was all i could focus on when i watched the teaser like siyeons face as if shes super into this (or was singing i dunno) and then jius face like is it THAT serious-

THE VISUALS ON TOP OF BOMB CHOREO THEY ALSO HAVE BOMB AESTHETICS FOR THEIR VIDEOS!!!!!!!! i would explain EVERY scene but i thought why not show the ones i really liked and put some thoughts under, some are more specifically about how i left looking at them (this is long enough already):

(i must mention beforehand that i loved the part with suas swing and jius rope too but i liked looking at these ones much more)

I KNEW THE MOMENT I SAW ALL THAT RED THREAD IT HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH FATE like i think actually believe in fate and stuff like that now bc LOOK at them their threads of fate all tangled together and s hit but also i just REALLY wanna see how they pass through the strings lmao

this part was haunting to me??? like i felt suffocated just looking at this??? i dont think thats how i was supposed to feel but this hit

do you see how disorienting???? do you feel that way too???? bc I SURE DID plus i dunno these colors, overlaying her looking in different directions and then at the end when they connect again in the middle my god yes-

okay i said i was going to mention hands and that theyre basically the most important thing in this entire video there are so many scenes of them reaching towards each other, wiggling their fingers and shaking their hands, but unable to even TOUCH you could really F E E L how DESPERATE.......... the WANT and the NEED to just connect together and bicth im gonna cry but its BEAUTIFUL™ (i was gonna add every shot that showed them reaching to each other but this is long enough already)

THIS JUST HITS HARD TO ME

ITS SUPER SYMBOLIC BUT IM TOO BIG STUPID™ TO PUT IT INTO WORDS JUST LOOK. AT. IT.

this is like gahyeons scene but it didnt hurt as much i love the color green but for this scene seeing that wall nearly crushing her and this color together i ACTUALLY felt scared and nauseous and again i dont think thats what im supposed to feel but i did and it also hit she is certainly........................... breaking out sorry

P L E A S E this is the ending and theyre all finally together and i think them standing in a circle and holding hands like is also their thing but do you see?????? yoohyeons smile?????? (im sure theyre all smiling at least i hope so)

T H E M

to the shock of LITERALLY NO ONE they are the seven (7) most beautiful women to walk this earth, so of course i was shaking continuously and my neck was getting broken every second i have nothing to complain about or even REMOTELY MENTION to change anything about them except i want damis shorter length back

plus their outfits and makeup looks are simple and nothing over the top and i think theyre wearing their teaser image outfits in the more colorful scenes but no complaints there like the white outfits when theyre surrounded by the red thread like they look great!!!!!!!!!! just nothing to specify (also their really cool looking earrings they just always have)

(also pls appreciate these screenshots they all come from a split second within their individual shots instead of the shots from the beginning bc i love making my job harder for no reason looking good as hell it took forever to get them okay moving on-)

JIU

someone pls tell me how she could make her face so intense...................... pls i thought i was gonna get turned into stone any second with how threatened i felt seeing her i just about died with all those damn close ups she got im TOO TIRED miss kim minji if looks could kill............................ her white dress was longer on one side so its lowkey just one leg and her shoulders out pls- that scene with the purple background and the rope and her eyes are purple too and just FULL of threatening energy....................................... dont hurt me

SUA

COME👏THE👏F UCK👏ON👏

ALL INSOMNIAS AGREE SHES A WHOLE MEAL™ this hairstyle and color on her specifically like this picture and its wavy i wish she could just keep that forever but yknow and that white dress shes wearing in this picture too with the sleeves pls you BEAUTIFUL BIH- her hair has a smaller pony tail in the red dance scenes and a whole pony tail for the swing i just wish i could see those styles better and I KNOW its a swing and the shot has to be far away but thanks for her side profile there im just saying-

SIYEON

THIS WOMAN™ this exact look with her hair straight and the one black glove and the one long sleeve that s hit hurted me and when they were dancing in the kinda red (i think its red) scenes shes wearing pants so good for her to stay on her brand plus i mentioned the green scenes earlier and she is THE Actress™ shes literally so stunning i had a hard time getting this screenshot bc i just kept looking and NOT doing this, her Power™ truly i finish with mentioning the eyebrow thing at the same part as bye bye................................. thank you

HANDONG

YALL ALREADY KNOW HOW IT BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS WOMAN IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IVE EVER LAID MY EYES ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the first couple of close up shots she got I DIED AT THOSE TIMES SHES SO ETHEREAL i will NEVER get over this hairstyle on her EVER and her hairstyle for that one dance outfit here like CAN WE JUST ALL AGREE that she just almost always looks Expensive™ and Princess™ like whenever we see her bc i cant deal!!!!!!!!! and i DID see her wearing that lavender outfit from her teaser image when that dropped during these scenes like i understand its supposed to be far away to express distance between others and how gloomy it is like that but i wanna see- ANYWAY I LOVE HER

YOOHYEON

let me just start out with how HAPPY AND THRILLED I AM that she has grey hair again like THATS HER LOOK™ shes also very good at being intense and powerful and that breaks every bone in my body but i had accepted it i wanna specify her little snarl hit me harder than it shouldve it lasted for literally a second she had the wavy hair too during those green yellow (???) and red scenes which i have to say AGAIN i wanna see it better but i understand why i finish this with her smile at the end i must mention it again pls my uwus-

DAMI

im sorry i need to start with full on wishing her hair was still that shorter length i miss that so much- ANYWAY this color on her F A N T A S T I C™ like this look with the black around her shoulders and she has a shorter dress instead of the long on one side like siyeon she was also wearing pants during those red dance scenes and honestly thanks im not even going to mention her scenes with handong again yall already know i wanna see it better

GAHYEON

LOOK AT HER she didnt have a lot of screentime like this picture comes from her first singing part and it was blurry but yknow that was aesthetic bc it focused eventually so ill let it slide literally she just has long black hair but she looks absolutely GORGEOUS in this mv!!!!!!!! i just wanted to see her more at all!!!!!!!! shes just so pretty and she got to have that cool scene with the plastic but like GIVE👏ME👏MORE👏GAHYEON👏NEXT👏TIME👏

LIKE i keep reminding myself that this IS a japanese song and i expected the style to be different so i guess thats why im not TOO critical about it i can totally hear how someone could be not so into it like that beginning part which doesnt sound like a dreamcatcher song if you didnt it was them yknow what i mean??? at least thats how i see it BUT PERSONALLY this is a pretty solid song!!!!!! ive been listening to it for two days straight and im feeling G R E A T!!!!!!!!!

IN CONCLUSION: GUESS WHOS GOING TO LISTEN TO THIS (AND THE WHOLE ALBUM) ON LOOP FOR WEEKS ON END YUP THATS ME

bonus bc i had to make this:

[clownbeep]

This is gonna be kinda brutal. But I want to put it into writing

Big vent/whats been going on

Hah... I guess this is like my life story or some shit...

Trigger warning ahead.. Depression and a bit of gore/suicide talk so if you are sensitive to that please, for your own sake and mental state you might not want to continue.

For those who dont want to hear a pretty dark vent, I understand.

And those who are just scrolling by feel free to scroll past. I just personally want to get this out.

If you have dealt with emotional neglect/abuse and need to know it isnt in your head this might be the post.

By writing this it feels like hopefully someone else will read this and realise certain things are NOT healthy.

If you are questioning if you are being emotionally neglected/abused (im speaking in a parental sense but even romantically or sexually) im not someone to give you answers, but the fact you are questioning it raises some red flags. In a healthy relationship you dont wonder those things.

Sorry for the long prelude but heres what I wanted to say

.

.

.

.

.

.

Ever since I was young, ive had bad ADHD, manic bipolar/depression, and sensory issues.

I was diagnosed around 13 I believe. My family (I didnt realise it then) always showed pity. Like I was some wild animal that couldnt be tamed and there was nothing they could do. Id do and say stupid attention seeking things just to try and get a shred of empathy.

My family didnt care.

When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt regaurding pills and my liver had a chance of failing.. None of my family members cried over me. But a family friend. Someone not. Even. Related. Wept over me.

My family didnt care.

I cant say they never cared. They give me food water and luxuries like internet and a phone. For that I am grateful.

But in many other ways they have hurt me faar more than helped.

Once I got out of a short term stay in an inpatient mental facility I desperately needed contact with anyone who would care for me.

I have a younger sister, quite young probably around 7 at the time. She was a close friend of mine for that time. Id hang out with her so often to fill the gap in love it felt my family didnt give. One day I walked into the dining room and overheard my mother and father talking to my little sister. They told her to keep away because I wasnt "stable" because I was "dangerous" and could give her bad Ideas. And with one single action my only friend at the time and way to find happiness was taken away.

My family did not care.

When I stay in bed every day for months on end not knowing which day ill snap and end it all.... I get called lazy.

My family did not care

When I beg for medication to make me a functional human being they brush me off for years on end. Im losing my grip. I can barely remember things that have happened last week because I try so hard to forget everything its my automatic response to everything.

When I cant get to sleep because all of the memories come flooding back and im hit by wave after wave of horrific memories and the feeling if worthlessness... When I cant watch any videos or read posts about families because it brings on unwanted memories and emotions....

Is it me being dramatic then?

When you hear your family openly mocking and laughing about how stupid and dramatic and fake trans people are... How weird and unnatural and mentally insane these people are not knowing they are the very reason grsm and trans suicides are so high...

Am I a liar now? Am I insane?

When I tried to talk to them about my mental health issues. They took my only way of contact and made me feel like it was my own fault.

My family didnt care.

When I was nearly passed out shaking in a bathtub covered in wounds and blood all over... They showed pity, then lectured me for an hour for not telling them or for being impulsive and basically cleaned my wounds and sent me into my room.

My family didnt care.

Yes. I do agree, they cleaned my wounds, the physical side of showing care. However emotionally they were not there.

When my father drinks so heavilly every day he is home from work that he forgets half the things he tells you and can barely function.. They lecture my older sister for having a glass of wine (legal age)

They did not care.

My sister (23) tried for so many years to cling to what little attention she would get by getting good grades and going to college... She realised that it changed nothing about how my family felt toward her.... She snapped.

My family did not care.

She starves herself for a disease she does not have, she uses religion as an exuse to be one of the biggest christian extremists I personally know. Half the days she doesnt eat... Other days she burns book and gets rid of items for being demonic.

My lovely sister used to be kind and quite normal. However she couldnt find comfort in what little live her family gave. Starved for care she turned to religion to un unhealthy degree. Finding any way to keep her mind busy. Now I worry she will end up in the hospital for weighing so little.

My family did not care.

My oldest sister (27) Is married to a continuously cheating husband who she keeps letting back into her life. She was raised with a failing marrige and doesnt seem to see when she should call it quits.

Not to mention her husband has touched someone legally under the age of concent. Did she report him to the authorities? No.

All of these horrific things stemming from bad parenting. Unhealthy relationships and neglect.

Neglect emotionally can cause just as bad things as physical neglect. They are both horrifically dangerous in different ways.

These are the only big things I can remember... Basically age 15 and below are a complete blur to me and I cant remember much of it without thinking for a looong time. Even then I cant remember a lot of it... I feel like ive lost my whole damn childhood. And it hurts more than if they had just hit me or physically harmed me.

Im not underplaying physically harm. But in my personaly opinion I would rather my family have beaten me badly because at least then id have an easier way to prove to people how severe the abuse was. You can see bruises and confirm broken bones... But years of feeling completely useless and being shut off from most of the world other than the internet... It fucks you up in a way I dont think can be healed.

I dont know if I can ever love myself or... Remember things. Its terrifying to think Ill post this and a few weeks later probably not even rememner unless its brought up. Or meeting people and having conversations... And they are just... Gone.

Gone.

I suppose the biggest reason im writing this is well... In the future I dont want to forget in some ways.. I want like to be 100× as awesome knowing itll start as soon as im out of here..

If I dont have anything to compare it too then what is the point?

Ive layed out basically most of what I remember

A large amount of time I look around and nothing registers... Everything is familiar but I cant remember anything for a moment or two.. I feel like my memory is slipping so fast and im terrified.. I cant do anything to stop it and I cant make my mood be stable without the medication my family cant be bothered to get ...

I suppose this is a bit of a vent. I know its kind of everywhere and unorganized..

If im honest.. Tumblr is the only place where people have given me a home I wish I had..

I came out as trans here... Everyone was so damn supportive.. I didnt say anything but I cried hard and the kindness.. It was amazing.. It was such a jarring difference to how I feel when I say anything in real life.

Ive met friends here and ive had some much fun here. If youve stuck around this far thank you so much.. If you didnt I dont blame you.

I just wanted to share what has been flashing in my head these past few days.. It hurts a lot and ive even considered suicide recently..

Im trying hard. As hard as I can.. I have no escape though.

I cannot leave home. I cannot escape. Im not being dramatic.

I

CANT

LEAVE

And its terrifying because I know without medication or at least being somewhere AWAY from family.... I feel like im going to break soon.

I dont want to do anything stupid.. But some days I cant think straight and do things that harm myself and its not good. Its not okay. Im aware that I need help but I have no idea where to go/turn.. I have no ID or drivers liscence.. I have no transportation to and from a job to get money so I can leave... I live in the middle of nowhere.... I just..

I dont want to lose touch. I dont want to do anything bad.. I want to be functional.. I want to do more than eat and sleep my life away because I have nothing else to do..

Im so damn sick and tired of this all.. And at times I really do feel like there is only one way out.

Its always there and I just feel like one of these days im gonna be pushed over the edge and not be thinking clearly enough to stop it.

Im thinking semi clearly right now which is my im posting this.. Because im afraid and alone.

I have nowhere to go irl I have no friends Irl i just have tumblr and media and thats it. I dont expect anyone to be able to help I just wanted to write this so anyone knows what happens if I leave media..

If I tell my family my issues they will blow me off again for the 11th time or so (not exaggerated)

And if I do something to get sent to the hospital and get the help I need the cycle will continue with them being pissed and me getting sent home in a month or less anly for my family relationships to get worse..

Im spiraling fuether and further and I cant keep up the facade of being fine. I need help. And i have no way to get it. Ive just been suffering for years...

Sitting around and doing nothing but using your phone or drawing or whatever sound fun in theory... But if thats all youve been able to do for years with little to no real life social contact its gonna mess with your head... I dont want to be a shut in... I just

I dont know what to do.

Im sorry for rambling. I will most likely delete this later feeling embarrassed I posted this...

Im just tired..

[kvmes]

Another Love TKO

I just read your text post about the dude you liked and it made me think of a situation that happened with me and this girl i had a huge crush on at my college.

I'm pretty sure it was fall semester 2017, i had walked to my building for class like i always did, i had my headphones in like always and was early to my class like always.

(quick side note) idk about you but im introverted, the reason i mention that is because me being as introverted as i am, im very observant.  I notice everything around me, i notice peoples faces, the clothes they wear, im just a very observant person. I dont talk that much, and i never walk around with my face in my phone like everyone seems to do these days, im always, always in deep thought, and deep observation.  

Anyways, i get to class hella early and i have my headphones in and im just chilling, when all of a sudden i see the most beautiful girl i have ever seen at my college, i mean, she was stunning. her hair was curly, and it was in a bun, her skin was golden and she had a bandana that was a mixture of red, black, and green. she had those gold and black suede pumas that was popular around that time.

Her arms were criss crossed across her chest and she was carrying her books. in the 5 seconds it took for her to pass me i picked up her whole vibe. she walked past me and didnt even know i existed. but i didnt give a shit, i was absolutely blown away by how gorgeous this girl was. when i say she was the most THE most beautiful girl i had ever seen at my college... i mean it. 

She walked past and it was like slow motion, i stopped my music and said to myself, "damn who is that"?! and that slow motion shit stopped and time was regular again, i was like "aigh i have to get to know her". so i literally looked at the time to make sure that every tuesday/ thursday i was at that exact spot just so i could get a glimpse of her. and sure enough every tuesday/ thursday i saw what i thought would be my future wife. 

But the thing is, here i am picturing all this lovey dovey shit like walking down the beach, me surprising her with flowers, me taking picture of her (im a photographer) all that gushy shit, and i know deep down im too shy to even approach her lol... one thing about men that most of us wont admit is that, when we see "the one" or that girl that makes time stop and makes you reevaluate life for a second.... we be gettin scared... or shit maybe its just me. but the fear of fuckin up can really stop you from doing somethin great. in this instance it was my fear that got the best of me. but when we men see that girl that you just know you have to have, we just dont know how to act idk why.

but idk im speaking for all dudes like i know, shit so maybe its me. anyways... i would see this girl basically every tuesday/ thursday and never speak.. i would always chicken out, because it would be hella people in the hallways, then on top of that she always looked like she didnt wanna be bothered, so i was like fuck lol im never gon get this girl. 

so i said fuck it. ima just wait till i see her on the campus walking and try and speak to her then. i figured shit if i talk to her when its only her, if i get rejected, only me and her will know lol... so idk what picture i had in my head but the shit was nothing close to what actually happened. i thought i would see her on campus... and i literally saw her like 3 times on campus, and she was either to far for me to get to her or going in a building i wasnt going into... its like she was a ghost. i started questioning did i even see her in the first place, or was i just so in need of real love that i made her up...

So i basically just gave up... and then one day at work i saw her again. at this point it had been like weeks since i last saw her on campus. i had dropped the class i had in the spot where i saw her in the first place, so i basically didnt see her at all. 

if im being honest the shit was like a movie, i had got on the elevator to go check the trash in one of the buildings like i had did every single day of that semester, and as soon as i got off i saw her walking in one of the entrances. that same rush of adrenaline came over me like it was my first time seeing her all over again. we looked at each other but walked past one another. she walked to the staircase entrance and was gone in 5 seconds again.

i had never had a girl make my heart beat like this before. i was in a daze. i was so nervous but i now knew that she lived in one of the dorms i worked in, which made me happy. so i planned on talking to her the next day. my confidence level shot up, i was ready to finally talk to this girl. 

the next day at work i tried to spend as much time as i could in her dorm, and of course... i didnt see her. I saw her the one time and that was it. 

It wouldnt be until the end of the next semester which was spring 2017 that i saw her again. i was working in the dorms. she was packing her stuff up to leave, and i said oh well no use now. so i was with my coworker and we were laughing and joking, and i said alright man ima go and make myself busy. 

no sooner do i leave him to go check on trash in the dorm "my future wife" lived in, i was cleaning something in the lobby, and through the blinds i saw my coworker talking to the girl of my dreams!! she was smiling and laughing and i saw them get in the elevator together... so i rushed over to that building and of course the elevators we busy. so i took the stairs down and went to the basement and i didnt see them... i rushed to catch the elevator back up and as i was getting off the elevator i heard her laugh and say "have a good day" and the door shut, and my coworker walked around the corner and said "oh shits whats up"! from the time i saw them talking in the first place to me getting up there when she was walking out the door, it was about 2-3 minutes. 

my heart was beating 1000 times a minute, my coworker came around the corner and saw me, i said "yo bro, who was that girl you were just with"? he said oh her, idk... i was like bro that girl is the girl of my universe lol... the next time you see her give her my number or just text me so i can talk to her... he said alright bro i got you.

And of course because life is life, i didnt see her until spring 2018. J. cole's KOD album had just came out a few weeks prior and i was blasting it in my headphones. i was in dream girl's dorm, and i saw her again... she was loading up her car and getting ready to leave... today was the day. i was goin to speak to her... and i know i said this shit 5 thousand times, but this time i had a feeling it would be my last chance.

i saw her a few times loading her car and was nervous. so i turned on one of my favorite cole songs... 03 adolescence. it gave me the confidence i needed. i saw her walking with her R.A and i knew that meant she was checking out and leaving for good, so i waited in the lobby because i knew she would have to walk through there to get to her car...

i was nervous as fuck, and even more because she had her R.A with her and if i got rejected he would see, but i said fuck it. she walked in and i said excuse me, she turned to me and her smile was beautiful, her voice was soft and kind of high pitched. "i said im sorry to bother you but you are beautiful to me and i have had a crush on you for a long time"

she started blushing, smiling and giggling. she said "oh my god do u? where have you see me at?" I said "eh you know, just around". i knew time was fading for me to ask for her number, so i said hey listen i have to get back to work and i know you have to leave, so how about i give you my number and you just text me. she said ok cool.. she pulled out her iphone. the screen was cracked, so i was extra careful to type my number in correctly. i handed it back to her and she said "cool i'll text you when later"

i said ok. on the outside i looked hella regular, but on the inside i was on the moon somewere... i walked into one of the other dorms and jumped up with excitement, i couldnt believe after all this time we had finally spoke. i finally got to talk to her. i was on fire. but then i quickly came back down to earth because the real test was waiting to see would she hit me up. 

I waited all day and all night, and came up with every excuse in the book. "maybe she just got tired from driving" lol... maybe she dropped her phone and it cracked and broke... maybe she accidently deleted the number. i came up with every excuse in the book. 

and after all that, she never texted me. and i have to say my feelings were hurt for a few days. i was more embarrassed than anything, because i put myself out there only to strike out. it was also the fact that i pictured us walking down the beach, all that lovey dovey shit i had thought about was basically never gonna happen. i had feelings for this girl, and she didnt even know the half. what hurt the most was that she never got to know how i really felt. i pictured her asking me "so how long have you liked me"? and i wouldve told her how i knew i liked her from the first time i laid eyes on her

how i knew exactly what she wore on the first day i saw her, how furiously my heart beat from just getting a glimpse of her. i wouldve told her that every time i saw her it was like the first time i saw her.... but it never happened sadly... and after that encounter it was truly the last time i had saw her. she either transferred,  moved off campus, or graduated. so i wrote this out because your story reminded me of this, but also just to say, we're all kind of awkward in our own little way, and i think that no matter how awkward we are and how odd we might be, theres someone out there waiting in the universe that will love us unconditionally. ( sorry this was so long) have a great night.