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blissfulparker · 3 years

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Driving First class→T.H

Parings: mechanic!tom x reader

Summary: A bitter fight with your now ex has you taking your car instead of a train for a business trip. Although out of your pettiness and anger, your car breaks down and you are left in the middle of nowhere but luckily Tom sees your distress and the man who works on the car is your best rescue. But he works on you other ways both Physically and emotionally

Warnings: Dom!tom, sub!reader, degrading(only slightly), sex on top of a car, squirting, oral, unprotected sex (this is fictional please use protection!), orgasm denial, power struggle, Tom being scared of women for two seconds

Word count: 5.5k

A/n: yeah so idk why I got so horny all the sudden and wrote this. Tbh...I like this version of tom, whatever this is I kinda like it. Let me know what you guys think, if you want to see more or less but I present to you: the first full fic I’ve written in months!(also I know barely anything about cars so I’m sorry if it’s cringy😭)

“Fuck! Shit! Dammit! Fuck! Fuck!” You scream. Hitting your hands against the steering wheel. Such a stupid idea with a stupid end result how could you not expect it?

Taking a car instead of a plane or a train across the country to avoid your ex on a business trip. Thinking you were being more bold and brave, proving you never needed him in the first place when now you sit stranded out in the middle of nowhere with a smoking engine and only hours until sunset and you’re sweating your ass off in a suit. A suit, who the hell wears a suit on a road trip?

Your Phone only having one bar and giving you 20%, you’re doomed. Doomed to be stranded out here and either killed by a maniac or killed by a bear. If London even had bears you would be killed by one. Wanting to cry and scream and maybe a train seat next to your ex who cheated was a better option than crying in your grandpa’s old Chevy that you thought was a better idea than the Tesla or the BMW. Anything would’ve been a better idea than this one but for once you couldn’t let go of the fiery side to you and just got in a car with your middle finger to your ex thinking you were so much better than a first class seat with expensive champagne.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” You say to yourself. Your hands run over your face. As dramatic as you can be you think you feel the end coming. The smoke from the engine never dies down and the sun is getting hotter and hotter. No more bubble gum pop plays from the radio but instead the sound of birds chirping and your paranoia of a bear eating you eats at your ears. You think maybe you should’ve sent that drunk ‘I miss you’ text to your ex back two nights ago when you were drunk to maybe just feel his dick once more and get on a stupid train with him but now you are—

“Miss?” A knock at your window causes you to jump. Screaming as you are met with the face of a man and grabbing your pepper spray from the keys and pointing. Even though the window was rolled up you still point and he backs up with his hands up.

“What the fuck!” You scream as you lower the pepper spray. You don’t know when, don’t know how, but now pulled in front of you was a black SUV that was in much better shape than your car. A man who wore a tight white shirt and had sweet chocolate brown curls stood with a scared look on his face.

“I-I’m sorry! I-I wanted to make sure you were okay. I’ve seen your smoke some while back and...and you were slumped over your steering wheel and needed to make sure I didn’t need to call police.” He explained very rushed. You place your hand over your heart, calming yourself as you reached to roll down your window so you can properly talk to him. A harmless boy who was probably on his way home.

“I’m fine.” You almost groan as you put your pepper spray back down. Running your hands over your face once again. Tom takes in how nice you look, black suit and neatly painted nails, you looked expensive so what was such an expensive girl like you doing in such a dirty old car like this?

“You got smoke coming from your car, you don’t look fine miss.” He looks at the cloud that still comes from your car. He has a worried look. You hate that you make the assumption of him being a man so he will know how to fix it but at the same time he was an Angel sent from Heaven,

“The engine blew out...at least I think…” you trail off. Honestly you didn’t know anymore, The last time you worked with a car was when you were 15 and before your grandpa died. The only person who truly taught you about cars now seemed to be reincarnated into the Greek god in front of you.

“Mind if I take a look?” He asked and you nodded as you popped the hood.

Stepping out of your car you join the boy in the front. Taller than him in the heels you wore having him look up at you as if you were the Angel sent down in the moment.

He doesn’t hesitate to dig his fingers into your car. Feeling the overheated engine and you watched as his eyes went in shock and his sigh. You were fucked. Utterly fucked and no, it wasn’t by some hot guy on a plane like you wished in the moment.

“She’s busted.” He looked at you. You almost want to roll your eyes and go ‘thanks’ as if you already didn’t know that. “I might be able to fix her up, gotta take her back to the shop and see what I can do but other than that she’s no good for a ride.” He placed his hands on his hips and looked up at you again.

“You mean it’s like broken broken down?” You start to panic even more. Ruining the BMW was far more worth it than the ‘57 Chevy you drove. No one made a car like this anymore and you adored it. Every chip of paint, every dent, each faded seat you loved as your own.

“I can see what I can do.” He shrugged. He starts to walk to his car, opening the trunk to hook your busted vehicle up to his and drag it back to where he just came from. As he starts to hook up your car you only just stare, watching as he does his work. He rubs his now oily hands on his pant leg before he looks up at you.

“You wanna hop in the front?” He asked and you started walking to your car and he let out a laugh. “No I meant my car, Angel.”

The random man that pulls over on the side of the road, has you pointing your pepper spray one moment ago now has you acting like a idiot as he was so pretty and a gift sent just for you.

“Right,” you walk around to the passengers seat. “Sorry.” You cleared your throat as you sat and waited in silence. Waiting for him to come around and when he does he doesn’t say anything but just starts up the car.

“You’re not going to kill me are you?” You looked over to him who has a goofy grin on his face.

“No sweetheart.” He shakes his head and you sigh in relief. As if he would even tell you that he was going to kill you. “You’re not going to kill me are you? With that spray you’ve got?” He teased and you shook your head.

“No, and sorry, I was just panicked and you are—“ you started but he lets a low laugh that you find so attractive.

“No I get it, you’re fine.” He stared back at the road. You were so use to the city, the tall building and the blinding lights you never really got to see the beauty of London outside of it. The gorgeous countryside you never knew existed actually did. But the countryside only lasted for so long before you were in a town filled with some of the cutest shops and was like a small city. So cute and so tiny.

“You wear heels on a road trip?” He broke the silence again and this time you’re looking at the four inch shoes.

“I-well-“ you looked and sounded like a proper idiot. You worked for one of London’s best businesses and now you were stumbling over your words, “well...yes? I’m on a business trip.” You admit and he looks back at the busted vehicle.

“I don’t know what business you work for but them sending you in a—“ he starts and you shake your head.

“No, no, that is mine. I thought—I didn’t want to go on a train and—it’s just complicated. A complicated stupid mess.” You tell him and he tilts his head as if he was agreeing.

“Well, I’ll see how well I can get you out of the complicated stupid mess.” He flashed a smile before he turned into what looked like a garage. A large garage that was filled with cars of all types, from new to old there were cars that had looked like they had been worked on for days as Tom pulled his car up and turned it off.

“We have some water in the front if you need some and there's a bathroom in the back. Make yourself a home, I'll get started.” and so for once, instead of just staring at him as if he was a piece of art hanging in the louvre, you search for the bathroom and the water he was talking about.

Leaving him to pop back open your hood, you walk into the bathroom and run cold water over your face. Feeling yourself relax at the feeling of finally getting the heat from the sun out of your face. Facing yourself in the mirror, you stare long and hard at yourself. The dimly lit bathroom, the achy feeling in your feet from being so stupid and wearing heels, the fact you broke down in god know what part of london but now you are in a mechanic shop and you are letting some random person fix up your beloved car.

“Should’ve just gotten on the train.” you groan as you take a paper towel and dry your face. Reaching for the door and walking back out to the garage where tom was now in a white tank top that was stained black all over, he had a towel over his shoulder as he worked at your car. You try to swallow the lump in your throat as you are completely mesmerized by the man in front of you.

Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train. Should've gotten on the train.

“Fuck!” Tom almost hits his head on the hood of the car as he sees you. You think he had curly hair at the start, now he had hair that kind of stuck to his forehead from the heat and sweat of your car. His hands are covered in black oils and he wipes them on the towel. “You scared me.” he lets out a breath as if he held it in and you take a seat at the stool next to the table filled with tools as he walks over to it.

“Sorry,” you say as you look at the car and try not to make it obvious you want to fuck him right now. A complete stranger that picked you up, you want to fuck. What if he did want to kill you? What if he had a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? Or a family of kids? What if-

“You hear me?” he was closer to you than ever and you felt your whole body go weak.

“I'm so sorry,” you shake your head. “What did you say?’

He lets out that stupid pretty laugh of his again as he puts tools back in the tool box. Cleaning up the mess he just made he repeats himself.

“I said, your car is so old that they don't make the part I need to fix her up anymore. Luckily I know a guy who has the part but it will take a few days to come in. the engine is completely busted and i think if i go a year up in model I can put it in just right. But for now she needs to cool off. She’s not gonna be able to drive for a while.” he gives you almost a pout and you slouch your shoulders.

“So I'm screwed?” your brows raised and he gave you a pressed lipped look.

“Im sorry angel, I got a spare room at my place or there is a bed and breakfast up the road I can drop you off at but for now there is nothing I can do.” he says and you sigh. Maybe you want to cry, scream, throw something but Tom notices it all at once as he watches your head drop.

Tom grew up around boys. His whole life was wrestling with his brothers and working on cars. He never dealt with girls crying. Even when he had girlfriends they typically left when they were crying but now he has a crying girl right under his roof after he worked on her car. It did take everything in him to not ask why she used the old thing but he knew a lot more was happening than just a beat down old car.

“I'm sorry. I should thank you, not cry.” you sniffled as you looked up at him who was on his knees crouched down for you. Face to face, he had a concerned look.

“I have a feeling that car isn't why you’re crying.” he didn't know how to play therapist and mechanic but tonight he would.

“I was so stupid not to just get on the train. God, I would have already been there by now and all because I didnt want to sit next to my stupid cheating ex who I thought I was so much better than if I just got in this old thing and drove there myself.” you wipe your eyes and he hands you a tissue but you shake your head.

“He sounds like a shit guy.” He spoke and you nodded.

“He is, but he was the only one that gave a shit about me and now I'm here like an idiot. Well, not an idiot...no, yeah. An idiot. You're really nice and sweet though so thank you.” you try and give him a smile and he stands up.

“Get up.” he groans a bit as he stretches his legs. “C’mon sweets, get up. I’m not going to let you cry over a guy who treated you like shit. You drink?” he asked and you nodded. “I have some beer in the fridge, you already had a shit day let's not cry about it.”

You don't know if you wanted to throw the wrench at him or if you needed him to say that. Either way he sets an ice cold beer in front of you and pops open the top for you.

Probably making more money than everyone in this town, you never thought you would plop down on a nearly broken bar stool in the middle of a car mechanic shop and drink away your feelings with a random man you just met today. You didnt even know his name, nor did he know yours but he listened to everything you had to say about your ex boyfriend who was probably fucking some model right now while you for once felt like you didnt have to play pretend nice in front of someone. How you don't know what god above sent this man in front of you but he did and he listened to each of your problems, nodding and not saying anything back as he just listened to everything.

“I used to work on cars too.” you look over at the cars and he raises his brows.you had finally stopped crying so much, realizing what was happening and where you were but you felt like a weight was taken off your shoulders when you told him everything. Not even your best friend could make you feel like that.

“Penthouse princess used to work on cars?” he teased and you only nudged his shoulder.

“Wow, penthouse princess?” you repeat back to him with a playful smile and he nods.

“Never got your name and you live in a penthouse and act like a princess.” he takes a sip of his beer and you finally extend your hand to meet his.

��(y/n).” you shook his dirty one but wow were his hands thick. You could feel each callous and feel each crooked finger. Your mind went to dirty places and you think maybe he caught on as he watched your legs cross over themselves as you shook his hand.

“Tom.” his thumb swiped over yours as he shook your hand. The feeling made you swallow hard and him smirk just a bit for himself. Before you could get too comfy you walked over to a truck that already had its hood popped open. You stumble a bit in your heels and the uneven ground and Tom is quick to follow you to make sure you don't hurt yourself.

“That's the engine.” you point. And he nods, his hand is on his hips as he watches you point and explain. “That's the brake pad, that's where you put in the oil…” you trail on and Tom nods as you get everything correct.

“Very good, darling.” he nods impressed and you look over at him with a smirk.

“What? No penthouse princess?” you're close to him. You didn't realize how close he was to you before you turned around and are almost chest to chest with him.

“Mmh, you have a preference?” he teased and you look down at your feet. You're still taller than him, but you think even without the heels on you would be either taller or the same height as him. You were always told that you were the one in control, always the one in demand which seemed to be a complaint by your ex.

“Mmh,” you lean in close enough to where your chest is gently pressed against his. “I'm not sure yet.” you let your hand go to the strap of his tank top, its dirty with oil before you let your hands go down and touch the muscle. Feeling just how strong he was, he was pretty tanned too. He was both toned and tanned as he watched your hands trail down to the bottom of his shirt.

His hands rested on your waist. Holding you tight in place and maybe in the moment he was the shorter on but he was always in control. Always.

“You seem so indecisive, do you want to drive or get on a train? Get back with a man or stay away? You don't even know where you want to sleep at night but you still act like you're so in control.” he almost mocks, giving you the same pout you had throughout the entire night and it shocked you.

“I know what I want.” you nearly snarl back and he clicks his tongue.

“Yeah?” he almost whispers as he leans in for your ear. “Prove it.”

You don't know when or how but his lips quickly land on yours. In a rough fight for dominance he has his hands wrapped around your thighs and has you picked up and laid down on one of the cars with a hood down. You don't realize it's your car with his hood down until you brace yourself on the hood. Stripping of your suit jacket and fiddling with your pants button but tom is already on it. He's down on his knees, undoing the straps of your shoes as he lets his hands go up and undo the buttons of your pants. Having you nearly completely naked in front of him, that's not exactly what he was going for as he picks you up from the hood as has you on your knees in front of him.

“Was so cute, you thought you were going to get exactly what you wanted.” his hand was dirty as it stroked your face but landed a grip on your chin. Pulling you in close, your head in between his thighs looking up at him with pleading eyes. You almost whimper, you were on your knees for a man you didn't know and you were almost whimpering.

“Dont act stupid.” he nearly spit at you as he leaned back. Your hands are going to unzip his pants but he stops you. Forcing you to rest your hands on his thighs as he pulls himself out of his pants. You swallowed hard as he was bigger than you had expected--far bigger than your ex as you felt like your mouth was watering as he used his thumb to stroke over the tip.

“Stick your tongue out.” he told you. You gladly stuck your tongue out with your mouth wide and ready to take him. He had one grip on your jaw and the other guiding his cock into your mouth. You start to suck but that's not what he wanted. He held your jaw in place as he thrusted up into you.

“Thats a good girl,” he hissed as he used your mouth as if it was his own personal toy. You reached to stroke what couldnt fit in your mouth and he let out an airy laugh. “What a little whore you are.” he shook his head. “So desperate, is this not enough for you? Sucking on my cock not enough for you?” he taunted you and you only moan—or at least try to moan and he laughs.

“What was that darling? I can't seem to hear you?” he teased and you only whined more with your mouth around him. You play a game with yourself where you think you can make him cum like this. Making him cum this early would mean that you always were more incharge from the start. But you barely know him, you don't know how long he can last.

“Get up.” he pulls your head off of him. His cock still hard as it fell onto his stomach and you were drooling with his precum. Your eyes don't even look up at him you look at the redness of his cock, how you want more of it and maybe you were the whore like he said.

“Look at me,” he pulled you up, now face to face with him. His hand that was free slips in between thighs, teasing as he gets closer and closer to your core and he clicks his tongue again. “Such a dirty girl, don't even want to look at me, say thank you, you just look at my cock wanting more. You want more?” he strokes your cheek and you nod. “What was that? A moment ago I thought I was talking to one of the richest girls in London but now I feel like I'm talking to just some whore--” he starts to talk but your lips are already on his. You straddle his hips. Extremely unsturdy but he quickly picks you up and flips you over. As much as he'd loved to see what you look like on top of him. Tits bouncing for him and trying to hold on, here was not the best place. He would get a better view later, he just knew it.

For now he flips you over on your stomach. You're pressed up against the car as he wraps his hand around your waist and uses his fingers for a bit.

“So fucking tight.” he slides in slowly at first. Making you gasp and him hiss. “That other boy fuck you like this?” he asked but you were too busy trying to feel more of him. His hand comes down to your ass and in shock you yelp. “I asked you a question, don't say you don't know manners either.'' He was close to your ear and you shook your head no.

“No!” you nearly cry out as he pushes into you. Completely filling you up. You feel tears perk at the corner of your eyes for how desperately you needed him. You even push back on him and he lets out a soft laugh. “H-he's never fucked me like this, god tom please move!” you cry out. His hands come to your waist and he clicks his tongue again.

“Since you asked so nicely.” he teased as he pulled himself fully out and pushed himself fully back in. you cry out, not caring who heard you, you cried out as he fucked into you like you two were the last people on earth.

“Fuck youre so tight.” he threw his head back as he held on to your hips. You felt yourself give up under him. There was no use in you trying to take control anymore when he did this to you. Had you dumbed down just for his dick.

“I need to cum tom.” you cry out. You try and open your eyes to look back at him who has created a rhythm for your body. His head is thrown back and he shakes his head.

“No.” was all he said and you nearly cry more. “Not yet.” was all he said as he went faster.

“Please, please, please.” you begged between a mixture of moans and cries. Reaching back to hold his hands but he quickly moved them to wrap around your waist and touch your clit. Using his thumb to rub gentle circles you nearly

“So cute when you whine like that.” he chuckled. You felt him twitch, knowing he was close too, you clenched your walls around him. You could barely hear his gasp but you have your cheek pushed up against the hood of your car that got you here in the first place.

“Fuck,” he struglld to moan out. “C-Cum for me.” he sped up and your whole body went numb. You swear you pass out for a moment as all you hear are his moans and the sudden feeling of him stopping.

Both heavy breathing you slowly move yourself to get up, at least turn yourself around so you can face a clearly stunned tom. His mouth open just a bit and his eyes are wide.

“Y-you squirted.” he tells you and suddenly you go from feeling like the sexiest person alive to feeling your body heat up in full embarrassment.

“I-i'm so sorry i-i didn't know-” you start to stammer as you reach for your shirt to clean him up but he shakes his head still trying to catch his breath.

“No, It was hot.” he says as his shock turns into a small smirk, cocky that he was able to do that. “Fuck, have you ever done that before?” he asked.

Your cheeks heated up, even though he couldn't see the clear embarrassment you nodded. One time, years ago when you were by yourself. You hadn't touched yourself in over a month and it was just the highest setting of your vibe and the hottest porn star you could find that had done it to you. Never ever had an actual man been able to make you do that. Hell, you were lucky if your ex even made you cum.

“O-Once, once but I was by myself.” you swallowed hard, you could already see the smirk on his face as he knew he was so much better than anyone you had ever had. He didn't even know your ex partners but if he could get you to do that the first time he fucked you then even you knew you didn't need anyone else.

He uses his clean shirt to clean you up. Helping you slip back on your underwear and making sure that you could still walk--you barely could. He helps you into his car. Letting you cool down a bit before he drove out of the garage, driving down the road and it was only about a minute until you arrived at the cutest house you had ever seen.

He lifted you out and brought you inside, passing you clothes that were far better to sleep in than a suit and your completely ruined underwear, you found yourself getting comfy under his bedsheets.

“So im guessing im not going to the bed and breakfast for the night?” you nuzzled into the sheets that smelt of ocean spray and cedarwood. This man was some sort of god, you swore on it.

“Hmm, no. unless you still want to.” he slides under the sheets himself. His hands dont touch you but you gladly lean in and wrap your arms around him. He at first stills, stiffens his whole body before he relaxes for you. He didn't even know what he was thinking. First he helps the pretty girl he worried was dead on the side of the road and now he has her in his bed after having one of the best orgasms of his life.

“No,” you hum against his chest. “If you don't mind.” but it wasn't a question. This time you take control over the situation and fall quickly asleep in his arms. He only lays there, waiting for you to find yourself fully asleep.

Fuck that stupid train, fuck your stupid ex, and fuck him.

Dark roast and sizzling eggs fill your nose. You wake up with puffy eyes, from crying last night embarrassingly in Tom's arms you look down and see you're only in a random stained tee and your underwear. In a way,you thought you hit your head hard enough on the steering wheel that all of this was a dream but it was real. You lay in a grey sheeted bed and hear the sound of music come from the kitchen.

Ideally, if you got on the train, you would have woken up in a hotel with a view of the city and probably eat half of a bagel and drink rich coffee from the breakfast bar before being off to your first conference of the day. But you were instead naked in the bed of a man who was helping you fix your car.

You stumble out of the bed, your legs wobbly, feeling as if you did a hardcore work out you nearly wince. What the man did was something you swore was only in porn. You don't know what kind of magic fucked him over while he works on cars but his fingers were skilled.

“Woah, woah,” Tom came over to you. Plaid boxers and no shirt, you think you died and went to heaven. Your car exploded and you died and went to heaven and if this is what it was then you were perfectly okay with that. “You okay?”

You nod, sitting at the island and only watching him. You knew you had to say a word soon but you didn't know what to say.

“Not so sure how you liked your eggs so I made them scrambled because that's personally how I like them but I can make them any other way you like-” he starts to go off and you only nod.

“No, I like scrambled.” When was the last time you had a breakfast like this? You grew up with servants and your parents are always gone. You never had a breakfast as simple as this.

He gave you a smile, you walked over to the coffee machine and poured coffee into the mug that was already out.

“Not sure if you were a coffee or tea type of person, if you-” before you could listen to his ramble again you shook your head.

“I like coffee. Coffee for the morning and tea typically in the evening.” you tell him and he gives a smile and a sweet nod.

“Me too.” was all he said before he remembered what was happening. “Hey, when do you have to be at that business trip? Or whatever it was?” you nearly spit out the coffee as he brings it up. You knew everything that was happening but honestly you were holding on to the concept you died and went to heaven but you had a conference in probably an hour and who the hell knows where you are.

“You know what,” your heart suddenly calms down. The panic subsides as you take another sip of that coffee. “Fuck them. They have waited for others before and they can wait for me. Fuck the trip, fuck the car and fuck my ex.” you felt good saying it. Tom slid you a plate of eggs and toast and you smiled.

“The car is still better than the train?” He remembers how all of this is about you and your ex fighting and you not wanting to sit on the train next to him.

With a smile, with everything that had happened within the past 24 hours, you pick up the plate and turn to tom.

“I don't think I should've taken the train.”

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godofsexdrugsandrocknroll · 3 years

Text

Jaune’s Father: “Walk the walk Jaune and talking the talk will come natural”

Jaune: *Stunned by Pyrrha kissing him*

Pyrrha: *About to shove Jaune in the rocket locker*

Jaune: *Feels Pyrrha’s hands on his chest, misinterprets and shoves his tongue down Pyrrha’s throat*

Pyrrha: *Eyes open in shock* MMMMPPPHHH!!!!! *Flustered by her naughtiest dreams coming true*

Jaune: *Enjoying the kiss, grabs and squeezes Pyrrha’s asscheeks*

Pyrrha: *Squeals, tries to push Jaune off*

Jaune: *Thinking Pyrrha’s about to push him into the locker and run off to die, panics*

Pyrrha: *Pyrrha’s brain shuts down as Jaune’s thigh rubs against her core, loses the ability to stand upright*

Jaune: *Spins, pushes a dazed Pyrrha in the locker and sets it off*

Pyrrha: *Already three hundred feet from Jaune* W-what, no! No! NOOOO!!! *Incredibly angry* Gosh flipping darnit girl, you l-let him get you all riled up and now he’s going to get himself killed!

-----------------

Jaune: *In an elevator* This is officially the stupidest idea you’ve ever had! Even worse than the stuff with Cardin, worse than the Deathstalker, worse than the time you took the blame for Coral breaking the window and somehow, someway, worse than the time you let Saphron put you in a dress, do your makeup and practice kissing a ‘girl’!

Elevator: *Shakes ominously*

Jaune: *Pale* I mean you just had your first real kiss with a girl, you felt her ass up and holy gods does Pyrrha have a nice, tight, big one, you’re still hard as diamonds and instead of running from the school that literally had a hole burnt through it by some kind of fucking firebreathing Grimm abomination, you go in! *Elevator goes into freefall*

Elevator: *Jaune’s screams replace screeching metal, crashes*

Jaune: *Climbs out, unharmed but aura has shattered* There’s got to be a limit, Jaune! Sure I turned Pyrrha to putty in my hands but that should not translate into running headfirst into certain death! Stupid Dad and his stupid advice! *Is hit in the head by a cane* Fucking ow! What the shit!?

*Witnesses Ozpin firing a gout of emerald fire that clashes with two huge streams of fire from the hot Haven girls hands*

Jaune: Oh what the fuck. And here I thought walking the walk was gonna be cool. Stupid Pyrrha. *Ducks underneath a scintillating jade orb thrown by Ozpin which vaporizes the elevator leaving nothing behind, in a falsetto* ‘Oh I’ll just kiss him and he’ll be so surprised and then I’ll shove him in a locker and go do something that’ll probably get myself killed. Teehee!’ *Breathes out* Not that I’m doing any better. The hot but apparently crazy Haven chick can fucking fly and - is that a tornado, ohhhh I’m gonna die - and Ozpin’s...

*Sees Amber*

Jaune: Is going to go to prison because this is a sex dungeon. Okay, Okay, you’re cool. Sure it was unanimously decided Pyrrha was going into the singles portion of the tournament and you nearly broke your neck twice getting down here, but something tells me sad Pyrrha has something to do with this. *Pauses* Which makes me wanna punch Ozpin, but question the pedo headmaster after you help!

*Sees Ozpin get a glass spear through the left lung*

Jaune: *Quickly* Or not. Okay, she’s monologuing, that’s good. Sneak, sneak, sneak-sneak-sneak. Blah, blah, magic? Really lady? Add delusional on top of crazy. Just get in closer, give her a nice kick to the ass and Ozpin will use his weird green themed semblance to obliterate her. *Hears Pyrrha mentioned* Ignore the urge to kick the dying sicko in the nuts, just focus on hurting the crazy chick who was apparently gonna kill my sorta-kinda-maybe girlfriend. Just nice, slowly, easily, quietleee-- *trips over his shoelace* --EEEEEEYYYOOOOPPPP!!!

Cinder: *Coughs wetly, stares at the sword sticking through her chest* H-how...?

*Cinder falls on top of Ozpin, her body crushed between the Headmasters and the shellshocked Jaune’s*

Ozpin: *Confused and dying* Mr. Arc?

Jaune: *High pitched* IswearIonlymeanttokickherintheasssoyoucouldfinishhereoff!

Ozpin: *Coughs* I believe you. Unfortunately it was not to be. You pierced her straight through the heart.

Jaune: I didn’t mean to?

Ozpin: And in doing so you’ve saved miss Nikos from a terribly cruel fate.

Jaune: Oh. That’s good. I’m pretty sure that if she hadn’t tried to shove me in that stupid rocket locker there’s at least a 50% chance Pyrrha would’ve jumped my bones, Grimm invasion or not.

Ozpin: *Groans in dismay* Only to quite possibly doom yourself to one.

Jaune: *Suddenly at full attention* You say what now?

Ozpin: You’ve stabbed me as well. *Sees Jaune about to speak* You’ve stabbed my other lung, young man.

Jaune: I-I’m sorry?

Ozpin: Not yet you aren’t. Usually when I reincarnate it’s some unlucky, random bastard. But you’ve imprinted on me.

Jaune: What.

Ozpin: I’m an immortal wizard who, when he dies, his soul and consciousness along with all his memories are transferred into a new man’s preexisting body.

Jaune: *Panicking* I don’t want you in my head, headmaster! On the off chance you’re not just a nasty pedophile, I really don’t want you in my head! I don’t think you wanna be there either! *Ozpin doesn’t respond* Professor? *Still nothing* Headmaster! *Ozpin is dead, Jaune* Ozpin you old fuck, don’t you dare, I don’t wanna hear your voice when I’m deep dicking my hot redheaded partner!

Ozpin: *Body explodes into green motes of light which Jaune inhales*

Jaune: AAAHHH, I DON’T CONSET, I DON’T CONSENT!

-----------------

Pyrrha: *Bringing dat ass back, clapping his groin* Oh Jaune, oh gods yes I love it, I love your cock so-s-s-so much! *Twists and twirls her booty on his cock* Oh f-fuck, I’m gonna cum agaaaaaiiinn!!

Jaune: *Going hard, closing in*

Pyrrha: Oh yes, please, harder, I’m gonna cum all over that delicious Arc meat again and o-o-oh shit, fuck yes Jaune, fill your slutty Nikos bitch up with your hot jizz!

Ozpin: *Mentally* She’d be cumming harder if you did what I suggested.

Jaune: *Mentally, trying to focus on Pyrrha’s voice and the image of her* Shut up. This is me time you parasite and I don’t care how long you’ve lived, I don’t need advice from the guy who’s ex is out to end the world.

Ozpin: *Mentally* I’m just saying, miss Nikos is a natural born sub. Placing your foot on her head and giving her what I’m telling you she absolutely wants by degrading her, lambasting her the way she does herself and I guarantee you the rewards will be worth it. I know you’ve been eying her anus for quite some time now, give her what she wants--

Jaune: *Mentally, pushes in deeper which makes Pyrrha wail* I knew I couldn’t trust you to shut up! ‘Oh no, the time you spend with miss Nikos will be your own, I’m just an old soul here to help you fight my batshit crazy ex’ and now you’re trying to live vicariously through me! *Eyes widen as Pyrrha spreads her cheeks, lying facefirst on the bed and moaning*

Ozpin: *Mentally, smugly* Oh of course. You certainly don’t want advice from a man who has slept with literally thousands of women. She’s cumming, by the way.

Pyrrha: Ooooohhhh gods, yesyesyesyesyesyesyes I’m fucking cummiiiiiinnnngggg!!!!!!!!! Fuck, fuck, fuuuu~uuuck you’re so fucking gooooood!!!!!

Jaune: *Cumming his brains out*

Ozpin: *Mentally* Good to see you plan on following my advice next round, Jaune. If you feel like paying me back, you could always just tell Pyrrha that you’ve gone through my memories and developed a taste for hardcore, mistress of pain BDSM.

Jaune: *Mentally, lying on Pyrrha’s pronebone body, still inside as they both recover* This is all Dad’s fault. No amount of badass magic is worth this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wanted one of these to have the advice backfire while still working and while I thought about it being an eventual Raven Jaune’s Father, I realized Pyrrha offered the best opportunity ever in the form of Ozpin, the unwanted and overly friendly brain ghost.

Hopefully any hardcore Arkos fans reading this don’t mind this one being the lewder, screwier one.

#rwby #jaune arc #pyrrha nikos #arkos #jaune x pyrrha #rwby vol 3 #au #pyrrha lives #headmaster ozpin #this is what happens when you let a drunk type #what's crack-a-lackin'#shitpost #Jaune's Father AU

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andhumanslovedstories · 5 years

Text

Recent country songs that have made me literally gay gasp as a gay woman, in order of how much they make me want to write an essay on gender and queerness

HONORARY MENTION BUT JUST BECAUSE I THINK THIS IS TECHNICALLY AMERICANA NOT COUNTRY (but genre is fake) AND THIS SONG ISN’T RECENT (2014 and I’ve been listening to it faithfully since then) BUT I ONLY RECENTLY LEARNED IT’S A COVER AND THAT’S MADE ME RECONTEXTUALIZE IT: “Murder in the City” by Brandi Carlile, a cover of The Avett Brothers where she changed the words “make sure my sister knows I loved her/make sure my mother knows the same” to “make sure my wife knows that I love her/make sure my daughter knows the same” which fucking. fucking gets me. Especially since the first time that I heard this song, I assumed it was from a man’s point of view because of that line, and then I learned that Brandi Carlile is a lesbian and I was caught up in my foolish heteronormitivity, and then I learned it was a cover and thought oh okay I guess the song is originally from a man’s pov and it’s cool she covered, and then I learned she changed those lines to make a song that already feels deeply personal to her to explicitly include her love for a woman and the family they’ve made together. And that’s just. It’s all just a lot.

3) “Fooled Around and Fell in Love” by Miranda Lambert featuring Maren Morris, Elle King, Ashley McBryde, Tenille Townes and Caylee Hammack, because the first time it came up on my spotify, I saw the title and was like “hey dope I like this song” and then I heard the first line was still “I must have been through about a million girls” and I realized none of the words or pronouns were getting changed and I was getting the song I’ve always wanted and deserved: a high production value, high energy, big girl group tribute to being a lesbian fuckboy who Fooled Around And, oops can you believe it, Fell in Love.

2) “If She Ever Leaves Me” by The Highwomen, sung by Brandi Carlile who is, as mentioned, lesbian, but since I’m apparently still chugging my comp het juice, I was still trying to figure out if this song--a classic “hey buddy keep walking, she’s my girl and she’s not interested” song with an interesting element of the singer being aware the relationship might not last anyway--was gonna be explicitly queer. And then there’s the line, “That's too much cologne, she likes perfume,” and I was like OH HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!

This is immediately followed by the lines “I’ve loved her in secret/I’ve loved her out loud” which is also deliciously queer in this context, with this singer and that juxtaposition, but the line that really fucking got me is my favorite of the song: “If she ever leaves, it's gonna be for a woman with more time.” This is two women in a complicated relationship. This isn’t just a “keep walking, cowboy” song, it’s a song that uses that framework to suggest a whole ass “Finishing the Hat”** relationship, and that’s so interesting to me. Like a song that isn’t just explicitly about two women in love but one that conveys very quickly a rich history between the two of them. And in a genre where the line “Kiss lots of boys, kiss lots of girls if that’s something you’re into” was revolutionary representation.

(Fun fact, “Follow Your Arrow” was partially written by Brandy Clarke, another country lesbian! Another fun fact, so is basically every other good country song. Brandy Clark, please write a big lesbian country anthem, I know it will immediately kill me on impact.)

To quote one youtube comment, “”lesbians how we feeling??” and to answer by quoting some others, “As a closeted baby gay in the 90s, who was into country, this song would have changed my life”, “I just teared up. So many happy tears, as a gay woman raised on country music, this is something that's definitely been needed. Thank you Brandi. Thank you highwomen”, “This song means more than I can say in a youtube comment”, and “Lesbians needed this song :)”

It’s me. I’m lesbians.

**ANOTHER HONORARY MENTION EXCEPT IT ISN’T RECENT AND IT ISN’T COUNTRY SO I GUESS THIS IS JUST A MENTION, BUT I AM INTERESTED IN THIS SONG--“Finishing the Hat” by Kelli O’Hara. A very good Sondheim joint, that’s about making art, the costs of its obsessive and exclusive nature and the incomparable pleasure of putting something into the world that wasn’t there before. It’s such a traditionally male narrative that I’m thrilled to find a wonderful female cover of it. I’m not even fussed about her changing the gender from the lover who won’t wait for the artist (except that the shift from “woman” to “one man” sounds so clunky) because there’s value turning this song into a lament of the men who won’t love artistic women. But I do also wish she’d also recorded a version that kept the original gender so it would be gay. OKAY BROADWAY TANGENT OVER, BACK TO COUNTRY.

1) “Highwomen” by The Highwomen, ft. Yola and Sheryl Crow. I can’t even express the full body chills the first time I heard this. Like repeated, multiple chills renewed at every verse of the song. This really closely parallels my experience with “Fooled Around and Fell in Love” up there, because when I started it I was like “oh dope I know what this cover will be” and then the lyrics started and I was like “OH MY GOD I DIDN’T.” In the case of “Fooled Around” it’s because I was amazed that they kept the original words. In the case of “Highwomen” I fucking transcended because they changed them.

So I grew up on Johnny Cash, obsessed with a couple of his albums but largely with a CD I had of his greatest hits. (Ask me how many times I listened to the shoeshine boy song. Hundreds. Johnny Cash told me to get rhythm and I got it.) And my FAVORITE was “Highwayman” from the country supergroup he was in, The Highwaymen. The concept of the song is that each of the four men sing a verse about a man from the past and how he died. It’s very good. The line “They buried me in that grey tomb that knows no sound” used to scare the shit out of me. I didn’t expect to have a song that targets so specifically my fear of being buried alive in wet concrete.

(If you haven’t heard the song, by the way, listen to this version to properly appreciate it as a piece of music. If you have, watch the fucking music video holy shit this is a work of art oh my GOD.)

So I was predisposed to love this cover before I even heard it. But then I heard it. And they rewrote the song to be about historical women. And it’s like. There’s layers here okay.

Neither the Highwaymen nor the Highwomen are signing about famous people. This isn’t a Great Man tour of history, it’s about dam builders and sailors and preachers and mothers and Freedom Riders and also Johnny Cash who flies a starship across the universe, as you do.

In the 1986 version, it’s a song about the continuity of life--the repeated idea is “I am still alive, I’m still here, I come back again and again in different forms.” The highwayman is all the men in the song. He reincarnates. The song is past, present, future. The title is singular, masculine. The same soul, expressed through multiple voices, multiple lives.

In the 2019 version, the title is plural, feminine. Highwomen. This song is about women. Each verse asserts the same motif as the 1986 version--“I may not have survived but I am still alive”--but there is no implication of reincarnation. Each woman is her own woman. This version has a final verse that the previous versions lacks. The singers harmonize. It’s not a song where one voice replaces another, the story of this One Man progressing through time. It ends in a chorus of women saying “We are still alive.”

We are The Highwomen Singing stories still untold We carry the sons you can only hold We are the daughters of the silent generations You sent our hearts to die alone in foreign nations They may return to us as tiny drops of rain But we will still remain

And we'll come back again and again and again And again and again We'll come back again and again and again And again and again

Another fun fact! The first time I heard them sing “We are the daughters of the silent generations” I died! But luckily I came back again and again and again.

This is a song about the continuity of history. It asserts that women’s historical lives matter and that they continue to matter, long after they died. This is a song about legacy as well, the legacy of nameless women who worked to protect the ones they loved and make the world better. They don’t die by chance. They are all hunted down by political violence, by racism, by misogyny, for stepping outside their prescribed roles. But, as Yola (who btw fucking CRUSHES THE VOCALS ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? HOLY SHIT MA’AM) sings as a murdered Freedom Rider, she’d take that ride again. And at the end of the song, she joins the chorus but does not disappear into it. Her voice rises up out of crowd. And the crowd calls itself “we”. These women are united but not subsumed into being One Woman. This is about Women.

And then, outside the song itself, there’s the history of this song about history. It’s originally by Jimmy Webb and was covered by Glenn Campbell. This cover inspired the name of the supergroup that covered it, the group with Willie Nelson, Kris Kristofferson, Waylon Jennings, and my man Johnny Cash. And it’s like holy shit! What an amazing group to collaborate! Hot damn!

Then, it’s 2019 and here’s The Highwomen with Brandi Carlile, Natalie Hemby, Maren Morris, and Amanda Shires. The name is obviously riffing on The Highwaymen. Shires set out to form the group in direct response to the lack of female country artists on the radio and at festivals. And they name themselves after a country supergroup, and they put out this song, a song connected to massive names in country music, and they center all of this on women and womanhood and the right of women to be counted in history and to make history and to talk about the ways we have mistreated and marginalized women, in a group that started because one woman was like hey! we’re mistreating and marginalizing women!

I just think this is neat! I think there’s a lot here we could unpack! But this post is 100 times longer than I was planning and work starts in a bit so uh I’m gonna go get dressed and listen to The Highwomen on repeat for the next hour, “Heaven is a Honky Tonk” is another fucking bop that improves on the original, it would be dope if they’d collab with Rhiannon Giddens, okay byyyyyyyye

#don't even know what to tag this bc for one there's way too many links for this to show up in any tags!!#country music #long post #surprisingly long post!#feel free always to rec female country/americana/folk/bluegrass to me esp if it's gay

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bakatenshii · 4 years

Text

Katsuki x Leese HCs

I uhhh have no excuses for this. This turned out so much longer than expected and I just?? Hope you don’t lose too many braincells hehe Inspired by our mutual obsession love for the Yakuza. For @lookslikeleese 3.5k! U make my kokoro doki doki ♡︎ \٩(๑`^´๑)۶/ ♡︎

So we all know Weese Leese as this saint, an angel sent from above, a pure soul that could do no wrong.

Leese, who puts up with our spamming, random bursts of thirst at 4am, answering everyone with nothing less than kind words straight out of a self-help book.

The reincarnation of Mother Theresa herself, if you will (minus the controversial problematic part)

Except I’m bout to blow your mind right now, cue the big TRIGGER WARNING: MIND BLOWING INFO AHEAD:

She’s a bit of a closet brat. No, not the kind that’s outwardly sassy, she’s just not a pushover. And maybe a lil stubborn.

Especially if someone who has no right to challenge her is speaking down to her.

See: 6’3, beeg beefy undercut Katsuki

Katsuki, who’s patrolling his district in the Kabukicho, making sure no one’s doing illegal business in his area, his property

He probably didn’t need two bodyguards with him, he could handle himself just fine. (He doesn’t know that they were just there to keep him in line, make sure he doesn’t blow up a hostess club because a man walked in who looked like Deku)

But it was a spectacle to see either way, three massive tatted men storming down the rowdy streets like it’s nobody’s business— (soon there might be none left if they keep scaring the fucking customers away)

Don’t get impatient, we’ll tie them together somehow I promise, and no they’re not going to fight over spilt boba this time

(Or any mugging of any kind, though that’s a good fuckin trope that I will shamelessly re-use)

Weese Leese is walking home from work, and sees some sketchy men in a dingy alleyway in sunglasses and suits— she knew right away that they were Top Tier suspy

I mean, if the way they were trying to coerce an innocent-looking girl in school uniform didn’t already give it away, the sunglasses at 8pm definitely did the job.

So Weese Leese took her whole Mother Theresa, Thou Shalt Not Hurt an Innocent Girl (pls no one religious attack me please) ass over

Because she’s too good for this world, honestly

Can’t help but jump in to try and help someone in potential danger, she knew it all too well herself.

Of course the men flip out, screaming at her to fuck off or take the poor girl’s spot

(for the sake of this AU we’re going to pretend that either we all speak fluent anime Japanese or it’s in English, plotholes be damned)

This is when Big Boss Katsuki comes marching in, wide as the alleyway itself, and—

Doesn’t come to Weese Leese’s aid, SIKE yall thought he was gonna be a knight in shining armour?

Nah, he’s pissed that a random woman is sticking her nose in somewhere she doesn’t belong

There’s a lot of ‘aniki’s and ‘oyabun’s and ‘kumicho’s going around, and Weese Leese has seen enough Yakuza movies fantasized about enough tatted men with missing pinkies to understand that she fucked up

Sort of.

This 200lbs of pure muscle of a man is the Head of Some Family, probably, and like, yeah, realistically she should be flittering in fear, but the only thing she’s getting are fanny flutters (alliteration or whatever, we out here)

BUT how much she wants to fuck this man still doesn’t excuse the fact that his subordinates were trying to force a (most-likely) underage girl into fuck-knows-what

So when Katsuki, in true aggressive on-brand fashion, practically roars out a

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, woman? Stay in your lane, this is my business”

She actually, to everyones surprise, retorts:

“Maybe teach your subordinates to use their brains a lil and pick out someone who’s not clearly underage and still in uniform next time, then.”

So now we’re back to the beginning, end of the: record scratch, freeze frame, ‘Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I got here’ sequence

Told you it’d all tie together, sans-boba

Back to the show:

Katsuki’s fucking shocked, kinda impressed, but mostly pissed off that some ‘stupid woman’ is talking back to him telling him how to run his business

Weese Leese is… kind of terrified, mostly turned on though, because her brain’s wiring must’ve gotten tangled when she turned into this alleyway.

Sucks for him because she had a point, and Katsuki’s not fucking blind— he can see the uniform clearly on this stupid girl’s body.

They deal with it some Yakuza way, I’ll spare yall the details and me the work of doing research and writing more nonsensical irrelevant waffle (because weese has the attention span of a 3 year old and doesn’t like long drawn out narratives boohoo)

Cut scene back to Katsuki, his two irrelevant bodyguards, and Weese Leese, stood alone in the alleyway.

He’s fuming because she’s demanding an apology for his attitude, his bodyguards are only slightly worried they might have to repave the alleyway (again), and Weese Leese is…

scanning any sliver of exposed skin for some yummy scary tattoos

Long story short, one long passive aggressive (from Leese’s end), straight up aggressive (from Katsuki’s end), argument later, he swallows his pride and offers her a drink at a local bar he owns as a means of apology.

because he’s not saying those words

(also to flex, he’s a proud bastard, he is)

We’ve all read Weese Leese’s hcs about drunk! Leese right? So we know how bold she is?

And how touchy she is and how her brain-to-mouth filter takes a holiday on a Caribbean island so she’s spouting shit like ‘show me your tattooooooos’ and not noticing how he’s blushing in response?

Drunk! Leese gets too drunk, and conveniently loses her keys (she just can’t find them, dont worry we’re not losing deposit money here) so in true Josei manga fashion, he takes her to a hotel

(THAT HE OWNS, HE OWNS EVERYTHING, OYABUN KATSUKI COMING THROUGH)

Because he can’t take her back to his, obviously. Not only is that embarrassing but also dangerous.

(Not that he cares what happens to her, obviously)

Stupid fucking tsundere

Do they diddle the do at the hotel? You decide, but they definitely diddle the do the next morning when she wakes up, sees him splayed on the bed on his stomach and she absentmindedly traces over the back-piece he’s got.

Yeah, he’s for a back-piece. It’s entirely self-indulgent, I don’t care. He’s also got all ten of his fingers because I say so.

And he wakes up with a raging boner mighty need and a half naked girl in his bed caressing the muscles on his back and

BLEEP

Insert censor bar here.

He doesn’t admit that he likes her, of course he doesn’t. Do you even know how tsunderes work?

He just thinks she’s nice, and comforting, let’s him be loud and angry all he wants, but can also stand her own ground and so, so lovely fun to be around. She’s great company, that’s all.

The head of a house needs a woman to play around with, right? That’s what all his shateis say (see: Yakuza term for younger brothers)

So what if they don’t buy their women flowers, take them to fancy dinners at restaurants they own, pound them against the penthouse windows of hotels they own, and begrudgingly take hot soaks in the fancy marble bathtubs the morning after.

He’s just better than them, that’s all.

He’s always the best at what he does, always has to be #1, so courting a woman shouldn’t be any different.

It’s not until his shateis poke fun at how soft he’s become and asks him when he’s inviting her to move in when he realizes—

fuck.

He’s in too deep.

But there’s something special about fucking his woman on the ancient tatami flooring of the house, (he’d only had to replace two holes, so he’s doing alright to be fair)

Or outside on the wooden planks of the hallway, legs pushed down to her ears as he plows her in front of the judging eyes of the Koi fish in the Japanese garden.

Or having her parade around in clothes he chooses for her, proudly displaying her as his. And so they live happily ever after, Yakuza movie style.

They might pop out an heir within the next two years, but that’s all for the better, right? Gotta continue the bloodline and whatnot.

edit: weese made a picrew with yakuza! katsuki

#I literally #this felt like a fever dream #on GOD I had a random spurt of an idea and I snatched it and Usain Bolted with it #I'M SORRY HAHA #don't hate me for the pov change weese pwease #:((((#matchup hcs #crackheads in the psychotic server

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boleyn-falcon · 4 years

Text

‘wouldn’t it be nice?’

okay so ever since i made my Joan and Jane fic (here) I've decided i wanted to make a oneshot for all the ladies and their queens! this one is a lot more happy because my heart can’t handle a sad Maggie rn like i’ll die.

this is also me just being a wannabe soccer jock because i finished my first season this school year :> of yea and if i accidentally refer to it as soccer and not football i’m sorry i’m a dumbass american

synopsis - Anne thinks today would be the perfect day to kidnap her closest friend and sports-related hijinks ensue! with maybe a slight side of bruises and concussions..

Words - 2593

Trigger warnings - none that i know of but tell me if you think i should add one!

Maggie loved the early summer. It was the perfect time of the year, not too hot nor cold. She could leave her window open to let in natural sunlight during the day, she’s always hated artificial lights, they give her headaches. It was the best time to just hone her skills and relax, she could let all of her stress just melt away. The brunette started learning a new song she heard so she could play it to the ladies and queens. “Wouldn't it be nice”, by some old american group called ‘The Beach Boys’, it was a nice feel good song the guitarist just felt amazing hearing. The old song’s lyrics remind her how good her second chance at life really was, “And wouldn't it be nice to live together,In the kind of world where we belong?”, it was perfect.

Her hands gracefully floated over the strings, eyes locked on the chords displayed on her computer screen. It felt like the world had stopped moving for a moment, like everything was calm. Well that feeling didn’t last that long. Maggie’s hands suddenly gripped the neck of the instamet as a large crash came from down stairs, ‘oh no what is it this time’. The musician laid her guitar down on her bed right as a slew of very creative and colorful curses came from what she could only presume was Bessie. With a quick trot down the stairs she was soon to find a very peeved bassist, a started pianist, a confused drummer. She made haste to the living room where they were standing to also find one very apologetic tudor queen and one rambunctious gremlin on the floor, oh and a slightly broken window.

“Gosh Bess I’m so sorry about her, we just got back from pret and i let her buy a large chocolate frappe, i'll pay for the new window..”, the blue clad queen said with a sorry smile. Maria spoke up with a curious tone, “Wait why are you guys here anyway? Atleast give a reason Miss Kermit the Hulk over here came crashing through our window?”, the green eyed woman finally stood up from her place on the floor and shuffled shyly. “Well Cathy wanted to come over and get some piano lessons from Joan and I tagged along to hopefully get some time with my favorite ferret!”, Maggie gave an amused chuckle and stepped forward. “Well okay you sugared up raccoon, what did you wanna do?”, Anne made her way to the couch and plopped down, “Well before we do anything, you need to go change into some shorts and a tank top oh and put your hair up. Cathy then grabbed one of the two drawstring bags she had been holding and handed it to Anne, who was already in some black running shorts and a neon green muscle tank. “Well me and Joan are gonna go hit the keys, you two have fun with whatever trouble Anne will get you both in”, and with that the two shorter girls made their way across the room and began to talk quietly.

The band member made her way back up to her room and began to pick out an outfit. ‘ Huh, I wonder why Anne is having me wear sports gear..the only kind of sport she watches is hockey and that's because she thinks it's funny to see them beat the shit out of each other’. She opened her closet and picked out some white athletic shorts(with pockets because all pants need them in her opinion), and a pastel cyan dri fit shirt with a black double note on the front. Lastly, she ties her hair back in her normal high ponytail she wears for shows.

Finally they were ready and made their way out of the house and onto the London streets. Anne still had her green bag, without giving a single hint to what could be inside. They made their way down into the nearest tube station on the Piccadilly Line. Maggie could now slightly narrow down the places they could be heading,but just a little. They stayed on the hot tube for a good few minutes before the hyper woman pulled her off and gave her a little time to look at where they had gotten off, Hyde Park Corner. This had just gotten even more puzzling as they made their way up to the surface. They were so close to leaving the station, till they had to scan their oyster cards. Anne had gotten through the gate easily with a quick swipe of her card. Maggie walked forward and scanned her card, but as she was walking through she felt a pressure on her waist. The Confused woman looked down to find out.. The gate had closed on her and she was stuck in between the two sides of the machine. “...Well shit… that's a problem”, the two rudor women laughed and Anne waved down a worker to let her friend out of her plastic-mechanical prison.

They finally made it out of the station, at least they already had a funny story to tell the others. They ambled their way down the stone sidewalk, smiling and laughing like school kids. “So I tell Joey about the whole pasta-wall test and she actually does it! Wait it gets better, she grabs a handful of angel hair spaghetti and chucks it at the kitchen wall! In front of Maria and Bessie! Let’s just say she wasn't allowed to be near any kind of noodle for a while”, Anne bursts out in laughter even stronger than back at the station, wiping tears from her eyes. Suddenly the green queen stopped and grabbed her friend’s hand and pulled her over to the other side of the road. “Tadah! We are gonna hang out here and try something new!”,the enthusiastic woman points to the stone arch like structure above them. “Hyde Park? What could we possibly learn here?”, Anne gives no answer as she continues to drag the poor musician into the park and off to a flat clearing.

The Boleyn girl stops right in the middle of the small grassy area and finally pulls out what has been hiding in her bag, a basic football and a small bluetooth speaker. “I thought it would be fun if we learned how to play Football! It seems easy enough and it would be fun bonding for us!”, she put the speaker down next to her bag and put the ball at her feet. Maggie was beyond confused, neither woman had ever tried sports, she knows Cleves runs and does boxing with Kathrine but that's about it. The guitarist gave a nod to the woman in front of her, she was about three meters away. Anne pulls her foot back like a bow and slams the front of her foot into the ball and sends it flying towards the other burnette. The ball hits Maggie’s right shin, she stumbles back and trips over the object at her feet and falls on her backside. “Ow shit!”, both women say loudly, Anne holding her foot and Maggie on the ground clutching her shin.

“Okay so bad idea, maybe we should..I dunno, learn how to play the damn game before we start kicking shit?”, the tudor queen gave a shy nod as she walked over and helped the injured girl to her feet. Maggie pulls out her phone from the pocket of her shorts and goes to her trusty friend, Google. “Okay Mags we should start with how to kick the damned thing without breaking all of your toes”, the guitarist gave a small chuckle and searched what Anne had suggested. After about thirty seconds of looking she finds a short Youtube video titled, ‘How to properly kick a soccer ball’, huh made by an American i guess. She clicked the video and turned her phone so both inept reincarnates could watch. The woman in the video showed her foot parallel to the ball, lightly kicking it with the inner side of her foot, unlike Anne who ‘toed’ the ball from what the woman said. The demonstrator showed how to open your hips wide to pass forward and how to angle your foot to make sure the ball goes in the right direction. After the tutorial ended Maggie turned her phone off and returned it to her pocket. “Okay Anne go back to your spot with the demon-sphere so we can try this again”.

So it was take two and they widened their stances slightly like the player in the video did, “Okay Mags remember to stop it with the side like she said so i don't break your foot! God the other Ladies would kill me..”. Anne got ready and tilted her foot outwards slightly and pulled back, she hit the ball correctly, well sort of. She used the right part of her foot but hit the very bottom of the ball and it flew upwards and towards the poor ferret-like woman in front of her, hitting her square in the face. Maggie stepped back and made a low grunt noise and held her face. “Christ Annie what did you do wrong this time? You did exactly what she said and it was still fucked up!”,Anne gave a confused look with a tilt of her head, “I dunno ‘M, maybe it was wind?”. Both gave a frustrated sigh as they sat down on a nearby bench and started to think. Before they could conjure up a coherent thought, Maggie spotted 3 teenage looking girls with matching gold and red sports uniforms with low and behold, a football. The younger girl shot up from the bench and gave her queen a confident smirk, “Anne i think i have a good but also maybe terrible idea”, she sped up to the girls and stopped them in their tracks.

“Hey sorry to bother you girls but erm… you play Football right..?”, the three girls looked at each other confusingly, “Um”, the tall brunette girl starts, “Yea we are on our school’s team..why?”. Anne catches up to Maggie right as the conversation continues, “Well I’m Maggie and my friend Anne and I want to learn how to play but we are kinda…”, Maggie trails off for Anne to finish, “Bad at it, like really bad”. The tanner girl with gloves on stepped forward with an amused look, “Well okay then, we were just about to go for a short practice so we could totally help you out!”, she put her gloved hand out for Maggie to shake, “I’m Samina, I’m the team’s goalie and these are two out of three of my defenders, Piper”, she points to the girl from brefor who gave a small wave, “And brooke”, a shorter brunette looked up and gave a small nod. “So I see you're already kinda set up here so let's get to it!”, the goalie led her girls over and gave the older pair an encouraging smile, “Show us whatcha got ladies!”. All five of the girls got in a wide spread circle with Anne’s ball at her feet. “Okay so first things first, do you know how to kick it without hurting yourself or sending it to the moon?”, Anne looked over and answered for Maggie, “Kinda, we can do it without harming our precious feet buuut it went flying and ‘bout gave Mags a broken sniffer..”. The shortest girl gave a small nod and gazed over at the pair, “Well then you hit the bottom of the ball, next time hit the middle or top, but i say middle because you might trip if you hit the top”, she said in a monotone voice. Anne decides to give it a go and turns to face Maggie, giving her a look that says, ‘be prepared because this might end horribly’. Giving her queen a quick nod she gets ready to receive the weapon of death, aka the ball. Anne pulls back and hits the ball just like she was told and it zooms towards Maggie on the ground and the brown eyed woman manages to catch it with somewhat ease. “Nice job Bo!”, she says as she rushes to give her green clad friend a high-five who gladly returns. “Now”, Piper starts, “time to learn how to dribble with the ball!”. Both girls groan in response.

After about an hour and a half of learning the simple methods of the sport the girls had to leave so it just left Maggie and Anne to figure it all out from there. Maggie spots an opportunity to turn up the fun and jogs over to Anne’s speaker and connects her phone. An upbeat guitar melody begins to play and just a few seconds later words start to emit from the speaker, “Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long?”. The musician gives a bright smile as the cheerful song plays, she now could really understand how grateful she really was for this new life. She sauntered over to the smiling Boleyn girl and they began to pass the ball around and laugh. They practiced thier passess and dribbleing, even tripping a good few times which made their smiles even brighter as they became covered in dirt,grass, and small bruises.

“Annie! Heads up!”, the ball flew past the queen’s head and into a tree behind her, getting stuck up in some branches. “Shit sorry, i'll go up and get it dont worry!”, Anne gave a worried glance, “Are you sure Maggie? We could just throw stuff at it to knock it down..”, Maggie had already started scaling the tree. It was anything but graceful, she looked like a blind cat with a missing tail,left leg, and whiskers, she couldn't balance at all. After making her way up about 5 or so branches she finally got to their beloved horri-ball. She grabbed it with her left hand, leaving her right, non-dominant hand, to be the one holding onto the flimsy branch above her, it was a recipe for disaster. “Hey Anne, I got the bAL-”, where her last words before the branch gave way and she went tumbling to the ground. Luckily or not so luckily, her dearest queen was there to break her fall. “I told you so”, is all Anne could croak out from under Maggie before she pushed her off. After that fiasco they moved a tad bit farther from the trees so they didn’t have to go home in full body casts.

After a few more hours it was starting to get dark and they thought it best for them to head back to their respective homes. They parted ways and started the trek back to their humble abodes. “See you later Mag! I'll text you later!”, and with that Anne was gone, Maggie has always wondered how she just vanishes right when you take her eyes off her. After a very cautious tube station trip and ride, she was finally home. The guitarist, happy to be home and rest, opens the door, ready to have some quiet time. Her dreams are slightly crushed as she sees a small brown blur scurry across the hall with a very distressed Maria rushing after it. The drummer stops in her tracks to make eye contact with her bandmate, “Bessie,Cathy, and Joey went out for dinner, don't say a word about this Margret”, today just got even more exhausting.

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Okay well that was an absolute acid trip-

i hope yall enjoy some cute bonding shit becuase the last one was so edgy n shit, and before any of you ask, yes the three girls on my team who are all really amazing players and friends and i love them so so much-

the next one will probably be with Maria and Lina and them dealing with Maria’s.... new little predicament haha

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tornrose24 · 4 years

Note

Heyo! For the recent character meme, can you do Kagome and Sango please?

Kagome

How I feel about this character: She’s my favorite of all the characters. But what I love is that she feels so realistic because she’s a teenager who’s having to juggle being in the past so often with staying on top of her grades. She also didn’t immediately put up with Inuyasha’s shit at the start and she acknowledges her own flaws. Like, she acted like any shipper and wanted Kikyo out of their lives, but also realized how petty she was when she had that thought (even though Kikyo DID do some more than questionable stuff). She also wanted to be seen as her own person instead of someone else’s shadow/reincarnation. Also, unlike most examples of fiction at the time, she never wanted to change Inuyasha into something that he wasn’t, didn’t immediately have the hots for him until they actually got to know each other and develop with time, and she loved him the way he was as a hanyou, which was something that made him an outcast.

OTP: Inuyasha. Even before I got into the manga at thirteen, I saw them and got couple vibes from them. In my mind, they are one of the greatest manga/anime couples of all time. Everything about the relationship is amazing and I love how it was one that was built on faith and trust, which is something so many can easily take for granted. Even their theme ‘To love’s end’ aka ‘the song from the snow scene in the first movie’ sums their relationship up perfectly-a love between two people who don’t exactly belong, from across time periods, with uncertainty and hope for the future all wrapped up in one lovely song. (It has a couple versions, one that is more light hearted and one that’s a little more epic). In my mind, it is one of the greatest love themes in existence.

Non romantic OTP: This is something I never thought of, but I like her friendship with Sango. Sure her modern era friends are there, but the two of them are like sisters who support each other. There wasn’t a lot of female friendships in fiction that I can think of when I was a teen, so this was a nice thing to remember.

Unpopular opinion: Why exactly did a lot of people want to ship her with a bunch of other characters? Especially those who weren’t on the show? Like, she was the character who got shipped with EVERYONE and I fail to see why. (On a side note, I HATE the SessxKag ship because not only does it not make sense, but they didn’t even have any chemistry whenever they did interact).

One thing I wish could happen/had happened with this character in canon: I’m surprised Kagome didn’t show more guilt over the shattering of the jewel in the show, considering how many lives were ruined or lost over the shards themselves. If it were me, I would have felt awful.

I would of also have loved to see more adventures in the modern era with her and Inuyasha that involved modern day yokai.

Also, I will never forgive Rumiko Takahashi for denying us an in-manga kiss (thank God the anime/movies fixed that).

Sango

How I feel about this character: I love how original she is! A badass fighter with a giant boomerang with a shape shifting cat who was part of a clan of demon hunters! I love how she can be an excellent fighter but can also be a bit of a ‘girly-girl’ too. See, women CAN be a mix of a warrior and elegance and I love that about her.

However, she got hit the worst out of everyone when it came to tragedy. Like holy shit I don’t know where to begin–she would have needed a lot of therapy after all of it and probably suffered some severe PTSD.

However I’m happy that she did get a happily ever after and that she still came out happy with a family of her own. And just because she settled down, it doesn’t mean she gave up fighting–in the epilogue chapter that Takahashi did (if I remember this correctly) she could still fight if necessary.

OTP: Miroku of course. However I don’t really like the whole perverted aspect he had towards her and not getting that ‘touching the ass earns you a slap’ nowadays (and that ship would NOT fly on tumblr if Inuyasha was being written now). But I like the other side where they do support and care about each other’s well being and Miroku did give her hope where her brother was concerned. In the end, I’m happy that they got the ending that they did–one that was free of tragedy or curses–and were able to have a family.

Non romantic OTP: I already said what I said in regards to Kagome. I also like her friendship with Inuyasha because they both equally respect each other. (Now I’m reminded of the episode where she got drunk and tried to hit on him and you could tell that he was VERY uncomfortable about the whole thing).

Unpopular opinion: Don’t really have one.

One thing I wish could happen/had happened with this character in canon: I think maybe her relationship with Miroku could have been written a bit better, given how the pervert character type doesn’t fly as well nowadays. Maybe if Miroku knew he genuinely loved her, he could have stopped grabbing for her ass and tried to flirt with other women because ‘I actually love this girl, but I don’t want to put her through any more heart break, so maybe I can get someone else to bear my kids.’

#inuyasha #meme #kagome higurashi #sango #inuxkag #mirxsan #I can't wait to see their kids in yashahime

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everykissbeginswithkai · 4 years

Text

My current roster of Female Leads

(As a preface, a lot of my characters are still being formed. So things that are subject to change are prefaced with “WIP” and the ones that are finalized are marked by “Decided”. All these pictures were made on picrew UwU)

(Design: Decided)

Name (WIP): Mia Sanada

Age (WIP): 20

Race (Decided): Human

Story Synopsis (WIP):

No one ever wakes up one morning to think, “I am going to die today.” Such morbid thoughts were saved for the lonely and depressed, but such a person was not Mia Sanada. While the woman experienced her own sort of woes and sadness, it was never something that kept her down. In what could be considered a miracle in today’s society, Mia was a woman who could keep her head held high and able to take each day one step at a time.

It was one step at a time did Mia ultimately found her demise. While walking home from a late closing shift from her job, Mia had no worries in the world. Despite it being dark and being a woman walking alone in the dark, Mia never thought herself to be the type of person to become a victim. Whether it was confidence or stupidity, Mia never considered herself to be an appealing target to criminals. Don’t mistake this mindset as low confidence, but Mia was a realist; she knew that she was a plain-looking woman compared to her peers. It’s not that Mia was jealous, but she knew she wasn’t the “easy target” sort of person. Why go for an average Jane like Mia who was obviously hiding a taser in her pocket when there’s some easier chick who panicky checked over her shoulder every five seconds. If Mia was some robber or rapist, she would surely choose that sort of woman over herself any day. Yet despite all this “careful planning,” Mia met her end.

A knife to the throat from some mysterious attacker from behind, and she was out. There was no chance for Mia to fight back or run. Just a simple yet sharp pain at her throat where the blade sliced. Yet surprisingly, she didn’t die right away. Holding a hand up to her throat, Mia attempted to hold together the cut flesh and blood as she tried to call for help. Yet both the pain and hot blood only allowed her to gurgle out a cough. She fell to the floor as she drowns in her own blood. She wanted to see who it was that killed her; write one final message with her blood. But unfortunately, Mia wasn’t strong enough to hold on. The girl who was called “The human cockroach” by her friends finally died in under two minutes.

Fuck. That sucks.

Yet surprisingly, it wasn’t the end. As if she was waking up from a medically induced sleep, Mia quickly recognizes that she was definitely not in the world she died in…

Holy shit! Don’t tell her that she just got isekai’d?! That should be impossible! Mia wasn’t protagonist material after all! She has a brain and common sense!

(Design: Decided)

Name (Decided): Kura Fujioka

Age (Decided): 18

Race (Decided): Human

Story Synopsis (Decided):

There's... something wrong with Kura Fujioka.

From first glance, Kura is quite the eye candy to both men and women. Porcelain skin, cherry red lips, mysterious green eyes, and an androgynous frame. Her appearance is a vortex of mystery. But there's something off about her. Was it how cold she was (not in just a personality sense)? Was it the sadistic smile on her face when she sees violence?

Or was it the fact that she likes playing with dead bodies?

By day, she an average high school senior. An icy beauty yet lone wolf. At night, she becomes the infamous villain, Chaos. Only at night does she truly feel alive. Deadly, twisted, and deranged. Known for her sickening necromancy powers, she’s the number one villain on any hero’s hit list yet no one is close to touching her.

Her aim isn’t world domination but world elimination... to finally put into motion the apocalypse. Lucky for the heroes, Kura is still growing. Both in strength and her army. Unfortunately, she’s just one person who has her eyes on the entire globe and she prefers it just like that.

But what would she do when an opportunity was dropped at her doorstep in the shape of a young man and a dead body as an offering.

(Design: Decided)

Name (Decided): Phoebe (Phi & Bee) von Ashton

Age (WIP): Phi- 19 Bee- 17 [mentally]

Race (Decided): Human

Story Synopsis (Decided):

“Flower of Evil” was a popular Korean Light Novel on a well-known translation sit called “BookOverhaul.com” it was a classic story about a young girl rise to the top as she tried to break a curse placed upon her. A reverse harem, stupid villains, and an overbearing prince. It had everything. At the climax, the reoccurring villain, Phoebe von Ashton turned into a monster to have her revenge. But in the end, was defeated by the heroes. Phoebe thought it was the end but who could have thought she would reincarnate as her younger self? ... Phoebe Ashton was a normal girl who loved to read novels. She frequented a popular translation site called “BookOverhaul.com”. While bored at work, she read “Flower of Evil” on a whim since it was on the front page. What she didn’t expect was a piece of shit story that was praised to the nines for it being “well-written” and a “strong female lead”. Really?! Phoebe saw it as any other fantasy novel with a stupid female lead and a cheesy plot. But who would have thought that she would get transmigrated into the story?

Two girls. One body. One life.

(Design: WIP. Came up with this character and story with Julie. So this is kinda a beta version until Julie decides to pass or not. IDK if she even remembers lol)

Name (WIP): Camille Weber

Age (WIP): “25″

Race (Decided): Vampire

Story (WIP-ish):

After sleeping for over a thousand years, no thanks to that damned heir of Van Helsing, Camille finally recovered enough of her strength to reclaim her throne as the feared Lady of the Night (”Any jokes not intended” -Camille). Eager to head out to dine on the finest of blood, Camille waited for nightfall just to discover that the world vastly changed while she slept.

While technological advancement was to be expected from humans, what Camille didn’t expect was a ravaged hellscape of destruction and death! That’s right, what should have been lively streets were very much unlively! Zombies! Everywhere!

What happened while she slept! How did the world become the play area of the undead, the rats of the supernatural world?!

With no humans in sight, Camille began to slowly starve to death. That was... until she found a raged group of survivors running for their lives from a horde of zombies. She watched them from afar, silently cheering them on until it hit her. Wait a minute! Humans are a hot commodity! Those blasted zombies! Get away from her livestock!

Coming to save the day, Camille showed off her abilities to those pitiful humans. Seeing how thankful they were, a plan hatched in Camille’s head. She’ll run her own human farm- she means a “sanctuary” for humans to safely live in under her protection in exchange for their blood. It’s a win-win situation! Now... just to convince these humans...

(This is planned to be a Fire Emblem Awakening type game where Camille is the MC and pick up “units” aka survivors with the rpg element gameplay of Fire Emblem.)

(Design: Decided... Ah my main girl. Of course, I had to include her here.)

Name (Decided): Onyx Stone

Age (Decided): “21″

Race (Decided): Dreavil (My own fictional race)

Story Synopsis (Decided):

Once upon an existence where time didn’t exist. An empty universe where only Matter exists. Willing to become something, Matter turned into gods. And gods created life. That would be the end of any creation myth yet how would the gods react in finding a race created the exact same way? A race that challenged their perception hierarchy? Violence, death, and the erasure of that race.

Once upon a time, there was a monster who was the last of her race. Surviving by the skin of her teeth, she’s the only one keeping the universe from Rotting... this was her story.

(Sometimes I forget how edgy Onyx is...)

#my ocs #oc information #just for fun #my writing #UwU ask me about my OCs or my stories #I'm lonely

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c0untb00z · 5 years

Text

I would just like to clear, I don't hate the BBC Dracula 2020 Show. In fact, I actually like the idea of Dracula being set in modern times like in the show, but I would like it a lot better if it wasn't written like a fucking reader insert fanfiction.

Don't get me wrong, I love me some reader inserts every once in a while but they're meant to be on Wattpad. Sometimes, you can find really fucking good fanfictions that could genuinly be movies, but this really just feels like someone wrote an erotic fanfiction for Dracula. It almost reminds me of a worse version of 50 Shades of Grey with less kinky sex.

First and foremost Agatha Van Hesling. I actually kinda liked her personality, how driven she was and determined to never give up, but she was literally created for a love interest. In Dracula by Bram Stocker, Sister Agatha is a nun that nurses Jonathan back to health, claiming he was 'sick in the head' as he ranted of what he had seen and warning others of Dracula. She doesn't even have a last name.

However there is a Dr. Van Hesling in the book, hes dutch(???) Professor that mentors and taught(????) Jack Seward who was in love with Lucy, who was fed off of and eventually killed and eventually undead by the means of the one and only Dracula. Dr Van Hesling plays a large role in the plot of the book. He has an open mind and was able to draw connections between things that some others couldn't, as he had access to more sources and could speak to most off the charecters involved. He's the first person to present the idea of a vampire, and Lucy turning into one. Thanks to Jonathan he was able to identify the vampire feeding on Lucy as Dracula and finds out how to kill the vampires.

So basically Agatha was literally fabricataed for the sole perpose of being there, to fall in love with Dracula or something.

I know we all are horny for Dracula. I'm horny for Dracula. Vampires are fucking hot but the sexiest part of vampires is that they ya know. Kill you and are mercily and heartless. The show does show that in a lot of parts and even decapiates a nun and yeets it into a gaggle of nuns which i fucking died at. But it also, humanizes him way to much, hes literally a monster. The scene in the boat with lord whats his name really portrayed that. It was really,,,, weird cause me being a kinky fucker I don't find the particular phrases of "you're going to need to be quiet now," and " youre doing so well" that creepy and if anything a little hot but looking at the circumstance and the look on that kids face, it was like r e a l y fucked up. Which is why i liked that scene. It showed just how fucked up Dracula is.

To be fair i did like Cleas Bangs acting and casting as Dracula. He had a certain charm that was ever so s l i g h t l y off. I heard people say he just 'made up an accent' but fuck you guys its a fucking danish accent you incolent twats anyways. He could be really funny at times and i actually apprecited it.

However the casting AND acting of the modern parts is absolute shit. Ep.3 is where i kinda gave up on the show and finsihed it for the sake of torturing myself. FIRST OF FUCKING ALL LUCY i cannot fathom how P I S S E D i am about Lucy. Why did they have to make her a phone obsessed basic asshole with no regards to anyones emotions besides her own and the extent of her personality is 'getting likes on socail media is all i care about because it makes me feel validated so im gonna wallo in self pity because i was obiously written by white man in his 50s that would have made me white if he wasnt forved to throw in diversity points" like shut the fuck up steven king.

Also lucy and mina never meet??? Theyre in different fucking time lines??? Theyre friendship and love for eachother was fucking golden how dare you rob that form me and give me a garbage bag full of shit with a shiny little bow on top in its place jesus f u ck.

The cemetary scene was o k ay i gues?? I liked the little nod to the book with the bloofer lady and the concept of random sprits being undead because of unfinished buisness. But this really just felt like it was slapped in the show for the sake of going on a date with Dracula in cemetary. I actually kinda apperacted it but it just felt awkward.

Also who the f u ck is Lucy's friend? The gay one??? Like,,,, is that supposed to Arthur???? His chatecter was so fu king weird and offset he just didnt feel like he should be in there. Hes literally just there for a-50-year-old-man's-interpretation-of-young-women-now-a-days verson of Lucy to have a gay best ffriend.

Ok i not even sure if i want to talk about Quincy. It just hurts. It physically hurts me to think about how d i r t y they did my baby. His charecter is the defination of american chivalry, just as great as regular chivarly but with a little extra cowboy vibe. Quincy is jist the biggest,,,, sweet haert,, like he asked lucy to marry him in his cool american cowboy voice cause he knew lucy loved it and it always made her laugh. And even when she turned him down becayse her heart belonged to arthur, he stayed. All he wanted was for lucy to be happy and all he requested was that they stay frirnds. Hes also invovled with taking fkwn dracula although hes not a main charecter percice ly as he doesnt have any entires in the book he still has an amaizing precence and sometimes while reading the book ill be readying one of dr sewards passanges and think "huh i wonder what quncys doin. I hope hes dooin good. Cowboy vibes n stuffs" amd boy dles he do that. Everh dracula film adaptataion robs us. R O B S U S of quincy morris best scene. In the middle of dr van helsing ranting about vampires( thats basically what half of the book is. I could write a 4p minute mono louge of his rambling jesus how does sweard take note of all this) quincy litterally just walks out. And nobodg really pays any notice beside glancing ag his leave and shrugging at one anouther and going back tl listneing tl van helsing explaining his vampire fan theories quincy moris , the quincy morris from texathe untited states of the amerkca the land and the free and also cowboys.stands outside of the bouilding and pints his gun up at. Dracula whos in the shape of a fucking bat eves ddopping outside the window and just fucking,,shoots it. Now he doesnt hit it cause thatt wouldnt be as fun as brutally stabbing the fucker witja wooden stake. But S T I L L. And the fucking bullet hits the window that everybodys in anprobably causes arthur to shit himself the ppoor boy. Can you belive that theh didnt fucking flim thatfor any dracul? Now i i under stands why not put in this adaptation because quincy is only mentionsed like three god damned times. And when theh DK mention him jesusnshit they literally jsut made him some popular jock from amwrica just to conter jacks white twinky ass and then they had him propose to lucy in the middle of a fucking night club and she says yes???? Lile ok jut throw Arthur out a window then cause cause fu c k him i guess. And then after lucy dies he jjsy fucking moves ?? The only thing thta makes this version of qincy quinccy is the fu king name and fact hes from america

Ok now jack fucking seward. He reminds me of when ylu forget you had a pb&j in your back pack so in the bos after school you pull it out cause yoyr hungry and yoyr mom put WAY to much jelly on it so now its like. All obsorbed into the bread and joggy and squished. Just sad and really white. They even had some kid call him whate bread and they werent fucking wrong. His obly personality traits were ' omg i love lucy but shes a hoe ;,,,((' and being connected to Zoe.

Now last and definately least the god forbaden ending. Just thinking about it gives me a fucking head ache. So , jesus, zoe, who is agathas great niece or someshit, a d looks exactly like her (its literally the same fucking actress) is a detective lile scitist reasearching dracula. So dracula is illedatly attracted to her becasue he thinks shes like agathas reincarnation or soenshit. So he tries tk drink her blood at one point and spits it all out and pukes and sjit cause her blood is poisonous bevaise she has fucking c an c e r. So later we find out that draculas weaknesses ( the sun crucifix) arnt actually real hes just afraid of dying so he has like irration fears or some shit so for some fucking reason. They deside. Its a good iea to end the show with this:

Dracula fucking drinks all of zoes blood killing her and himself because her blood poisonus. And ghe fucking emd scene is them like,,, in the sun???? Or soemt hi ng??? And theyre naked and like presumably fucked and dracula says some shit like " its doesnt have to hurt" and i almost tore my wrist open wiith my teeth because of how shitty this ending is.

Not lnly is it disrespectful to zoe but agatha, agathas whole thing was K I L I N G. dracula she wanted him fucking D E A D she woULDNT FUCK HKM

And like just after finding out that he can be in the sunlight with out fucking dying and that crosses just make him umcomfortable or some shit he just desides to kill himself??? DUDE YOU JUST FOUND OUT YOURE PROACTICALLY MORE INVINCABLE THAN YOU WERE BEFORE AND YOU JSUT FUCKING OFF YOUR SELF ??? HE COULD HAVE FUCKING RULED ENGLAD AND SPEAD VAMPIRISM OLL LVER THE FUCKING COUNTFY AND WORLD KF HE TRIED HARD ENOUGH AND HE KILLS HIMSELF BECAUSE THEY WANTED A STUPID SAPPY ENDING

anyway if anyone actually goes through the effort of reafing my god damn eS S A Y about Dracula that i finkshed typing (im not gonna bother editing tbh) at 4 fucking am. Then thank you and please get a life

#vampire #dracula #dracula2020 #bbc dracula #bbc dracula 2020 #3 am essays cause im pissed #dracula bram stoker #bram stoker #draculaxreader apparnetly

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enchantedisabella · 6 years

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Modern Greek Gods

my ig is vivacityandvellichor

Apollo: patron god of memes/vines. absolutely has a meme acc with over a million followers. you think peter parker, a fucking gen z meme legend, isn’t his illegitimate child? that he made just to spite athena with spiders? you are w r o n g

Zeus: the one those Straight White Guys (ew) pray to. often they place maga hats at his altar but even Zeus isn’t that much of a douchebag to support tr*mp and he burns them and strikes those guys with lightning at once. he’s that kind of dad that refuses to vaccinate his kids tho (sigh)

Athena: literally the inventor of just fucking shitposts that mess with your head and are filmed by Apollo saying shit like ‘i have faced God and stepped over Her heaven to get to my throne’. probably runs a shitpost acc and a feminism acc at the same time with wildly different posts, but everyone knows it’s her. there’s even accounts comparing her captions on her different accs bc one will be like ‘big mood gonna go die now bc for some reason i didn’t want the tide pod challenge to die and I DID IT wtf is wrong w me im begging for the sweet release of death’ and the other will be like ‘systematic oppression is only beneficial to straight white males who will continue to oppress poc, women and lgbt+ if they don’t recognise their privilege’

Persephone: kindest person ever. except when you try her, karma’s gonna be a bitch to you. usually she just stays home and plays with her cats, probably spends half her life as a stalker on tumblr or running an aesthetic ig, and the other half baking muffins to throw in the face of her enemies but also to give the best ones to her mom. is definitely taylor swift reincarnated, there’s no doubt.

Demeter: andrea swift reincarnated. that soft friend who will go batshit crazy if something happens to her precious daughter. 100/10 has a very good mother-daughter relationship. hates gossip column blogs but loves it when the tea is served for someone that deserves it. (kanye anyone?)

Aphrodite: works at buzzfeed, no doubt. one of those fashion bloggers with a ridiculously huge influence over celebrities even though all they do is post outfit combinations and promote products, and always has steaming hot tea to serve on every website available. loves dishing out to demeter and gets along surprisingly well with apollo who is also invited to those premieres with her (though for different reasons ofc). runs the most colourful ig acc ever, has an insane amount of followers. wakes up with perfect hair and no one knows how.

Poseidon: youtuber. one of those annoying ones who always say to subscribe to their channel before really doing anything much or saying anything worthwhile? like, why not say it at the end when people actually know what your content is about??? always gets invited to those youtuber conventions but hellaaa problematic. not a total dirtbag, supports feminism and everything, but he just has an overall toxic personality. athena stays tf away. somehow is actually lowkey hot tho and has had flings with every other well known celeb who lives near him.

Hades: HIGHKEY anime stan. pretends to like shit like my chemical romance but actually jams to one direction when alone. video games and pokemon go is their life 24/7, but they still try to hide the fact that they waste their (probably few) remaining days on it even tho everyone already knows. has tried tiktok once and went viral for being hilariously fucking bad. definitely has a meme face. apollo once made a meme out of hades’ face to spite him but it actually also went viral and now hades is known as the ‘pikachu corndog guy ’ around the internet. sometimes ppl ask for selfies on the street and he h a t e s it. will flip them off but can’t swear without sounding like a twelve year old who hasn’t gone through puberty.

Dionysus: is incredibly good at tiktok. once did such a smooth pop and lock with six of his nymphs that it went viral. can shuffle up the stairs like hell was freezing over but he didn’t give a shit. runs those eating asmr accs that’s mainly just him stirring drinking wine super loudly until he passes out (somehow still gets a staggering ton of views), but before that, poseidon makes sure to film all the stupid shit he says to put it on his youtube channel. athena’s sometimes there too and uses his overconfident phrases for her shitposts. needless to say, dionysus is a legend on stan twitter.

Ares: will Fite you. is literally the equivalent of a human trash can. people do put maga hats at his altar and he fucking wears them like the fucking trashbag scum that he is. athena plots different strategies to kill him and has polls for the best ones on her story. Straight White Guy trashhhhhhhhh. nobody likes him. he runs an ig acc with maybe four followers at best, and they’re all just all his other own accs that he uses to anonymously harass athena so she can’t shove his own failures into his face. she always knows it’s him, though. people beat him into pulp on online arguments but he refuses to admit that he’s wrong. gets a kick out of harassing people on the subway. athena refers to him as ‘it’ every time she talks about him because she says that subhuman feces should be referred to by the correct pronouns.

Hephaestus: that one sleazy guy at school who’s best friends with hades but isn’t as bad as asshole ares. knows that ares is morally wrong, but still is kind of ok with him unlike everyone else. wouldn’t go so far as to like him tho. that geeky guy who always gets invited to parties. nobody knows how, but he’s in the ‘popular’ crowd, but often overlooked. some people think that it’s because he does all his hw for them, but actually, hephaestus is that guy who’s sleazy and cheap but really slick and conniving. can get himself into any club. that guy who only uses social media to stalk others, and he follows like 1000+ people but nobody will follow him. kind of a douche but not so much to become revolting. haaaaaates poseidon bc they’re both toxic af and recognise it in each other but not in themselves. that guy who apologises for a racist thing from eight years ago that’s been brought up. actually means the apology but doesn’t have much empathy.

Hera: rules wattpad and i mean rules it. her stories basically win every bad boy x good girl cliché award ever. terrible grammar but somehow has a shit ton of votes and comments. has had a string of shitty boyfriends but only has eyes for zeus, the most problematic guy ever whom she keeps on returning to. she blogs about all her relationship failures mostly because she’s too hooked up on zeus, and all her ten million followers tell her to get some therapy or help but she never does. queen of falling into toxic relationships and honestly athena hates her personally but feels really sorry for her. probably doesn’t understand feminism all that much but still wants equal rights for everyone. doesn’t care if you’re lgbt or a diff race, and i don’t mean accepting i mean she literally does not give a flying fuck. one of those ppl who is ‘fake woke’ bc they actually do have good morals at heart but say things like ‘i don’t see colour’ only for athena to reply scathingly w things like ‘you actually do, you just don’t want to acknowledge your own white privilege by admitting it bc to admit it is to admit that you actually have been born w an upper hand’. def is one of those straight white girls who actually are decent and try their hardest to understand racism but just can’t get it. vents on wattpad yet somehow only gains followers.

Artemis: ah, saved the best for last. arty is a fucking queen, she’s the one who consistently burns tr*mp on twitter and challenges views. probably an actual activist irl who is v well known and promotes herself through ig. is probably best friends with taylor swift and emma watson. probably lowkey has the best singing voice and is actually an artist using music to protest. is mutuals with her feminist acc with athena on instagram. probably best friends w her and they do everything together, run a joint private finsta with a fairly small following of 500 people but post the most aesthetic bff photos.

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thatyanderecritic · 5 years

Text

Marchen Witches

Title: Marchen Witches

Media: Webtoons, written by Verbin

Yandere(s): Carness

Yandere Scale: 4/5

Criticism written by: Kai

Editor: Julie

The Review: Hey everyone! Kai here back with another review! I’m sure that this is a bit of a surprise. Hell, I’m surprised that I’m doing yet another review. While waiting for yesterday’s livestream to finish rendering (which I’ll be posting here), I stumbled upon this webtoon. I decided to read it on a whim as I wait for the video to finish up and boy, I did not expect there to be a yandere here… Let me explain

Marchen Witches is a webtoon about a romance between a witch and a knight. About 300 years ago, there was a racial war between magic users and non-magic users. The witch and the knight tried to fight for equal rights but ended up dying in the fight. Unable to recognize their love for each other, the witch cast a spell so that her and the knight can be reincarnated together. Now, a 300 years later, the witch was reincarnated… as a male scientist named Schwann Owen. Present day, Owen contains all his past life memories and now researching the reincarnation spell from a scientific point of view. But he was soon attacked by a wizard terrorist group called the Black Pearl. But! He was saved by a female war mage named Jessica; who very much looks like the knight in the past life (you see a trend here?). But surprise surprise, Jessica has a twin brother who also looks like the knight. Now Owen is all messed up on who’s the real knight. But that isn’t important. The Black Pearl kidnap Owen for his research but surprise! It was actually Carness’s, the yandere, long con to capture Jessica to commit couple suicide and reincarnate into the next life together <3 But Carness got his ass beat by Owen and everyone lives happily ever after :)

Anyways, you guys might think I just rushed typing the summary and skipping over details but, nope! The webtoons was just that rushed! It was a neat story and was an enjoyable read but it was rather… underwhelming and very unsatisfying. There were many points in the story where the author could have paused and expanded on a plot detail or character interaction or character background. The only one who got major screen time was just some side character called Zeke, for some reason… Like, Owen’s dilemma with figuring out which twin was the knight was barely touched on and was kinda… glossed over. His relationship with them was extremely superficial and I couldn’t believe that Owen and Jessica got together out of true love. Jessica was just awfully written. She was bland and boring. The minute there was an inch of personality or possible character history from her, it was immediately skipped over for #plot. The same goes for her twin brother. There was a really big point that was brought up in the story but pretty much was destroyed after it was out the gate. It was the idea that maybe… these people in the present AREN’T actually the people from the past anymore. Very good plot point that should have been focused for the entire damn story but it was only use for convenience against Zeke and the yandere, Carness (who I’ll talk about soon. I swear). That point was immediately tossed out the window once Jessica remember her past life and automatically went “I love you, Owen :)”. Lmao what??? Literally a panel ago, everyone was agreeing to let the past be the past. From what I saw, the two main characters just love each other because of who they were in the past, not who they are right now. Y’all realized how fuck that is, right? Right???? It’s an alright story… it fits the bare minimum of what a story requires. But don’t expect anything particularly amazing.

Anyways, enough rambling about the mediocre story. Let’s talk yandere. So Carness was a surprise yandere. When I first saw him appear, my first thought was: “The author has no reason to make him this hot” lmao. Carness is the main antagonist of the entire webcomic and pretty much the reason why there was that whole racism war to begin with…. Apparently. But before I talk about him, I should mention that Carness is canon fodder yandere. What does that mean? Carness’s whole point in the story is just to bring the two main characters together before getting his ass beat. So don’t expect anything amazing from him besides going “muahahaha”.

Now then… why is Carness a yandere? Well, we first have to go back into time for Carness original incarnation: Countess Iris. Yes, before Carness was a male yandere, he was a female yandere :) We’re checking off all boxes here folks. Well, Countess Iris was the knight’s OG fiance. She fell in love with him at first sight when they were children and was groomed to be his perfect wife, since that’s what is expected of a woman. Hinted that she was most likely neglected as a child too. Basically, she was raised to be devoted only to the knight. To keep him only to herself, she chased off women and disfigured some who tried to get close to the knight. But without her realizing, the knight and the witch fell in love with each other. Mad with jealousy, she flamed the already tense racial divide between the witches and humans so that the witch would “accidentally” die in the fighting. But she never expected the knight to go out with the witch. Wrecked with grief, anger, possessiveness, ect. Countess Iris decided to follow after the knight into the next life. She preserved his body and “recruited” (forced) many witches to copy the reincarnation spell. The spell worked and she turned into a he then went out to hunt for the reincarnated knight. Carness found Jessica and… idk what happened between that and the meeting of Owen. This story gloss over more plot details than a high school girl using lip gloss. Anyways, Carness decides to permanently get rid of Owen for good and do a lovers suicide for the next life. To do that, he puppeteer an entire terrorist group and did mind using people for his own agenda. But of course, he lost after have a yandere snap and get locked up in jail. The end.

As you can see, Carness is a yandere but due to having a shallow background (shit everyone has a shallow background), we have to take away a point because there’s not much about Carness (I mean, that paragraph seems like a lot but really, compared to the webtoon, the paragraph is really nothing). Anyways, Carness is solid. Story is wack but readable.

Overall score: 6/10

#marchen witches #yandere #male yandere #female yandere #webtoon #Carness

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iamgoingtohell---again · 6 years

Text

My journeying with gender

I know this isn’t a popular blog, but I’m going for it.

At 26 years old, my gender identity is being shaken to the core. The realizations I’m having are freeing, the reality of them are terrifying, and the skeletons of everything within it are soaked deep with Persistent Depressive Disorder, or dysthymia.

Honestly, I would appreciate any advice or thoughts, as long as it’s kind.

(Please be nice to me.)

And I’m tagging random - but double checked against transphobia - blogs I follow that I hope will be friendly, at least reblog, and maybe also give their honest opinion. (Some of them are popular, I don’t expect a response) @barnabyleeofslytherin @thatsthat24 @spaceyspades @hey-pretty-mama-its-johnny-bravo @tenoko1 @superwhoavengelock-etc @novamjohnson @arosecret @gayngelofthelordlovesdean @trans-matters @transboygif

So, let’s start with realizations. (It’s weird; I’m weird - just read three paragraphs down)

Not too long ago, I fell down a YouTube rabbit hole where I watched this video on reincarnation (more or less - it’s some dude’s near-death experience). Basically, when in regards to me, it comes down to: he asked the people he was talking to in this afterlife place if he could stay next time (because he had to go back this time), and their answer was (not verbatim): “We doubt it. You never stay long. You like your lessons.”

Which, okay, I get how that’s creepy, but I will also say that dude reported they seemed mostly amused with him the entire time. As in, okay, this guy again? Same questions. What a cinnamon roll.

At any rate, it was enough for me to actual consider if I could “come back”, and then what I would come back as? And the idea that I could come back as a gay man gOT ME SO HAPPY AND EXCITED I CAN’T DESCRIBE!

And that was when realization first hit me on the head: cis people don’t have these thoughts.

Which I know sounds like such a duh moment, but it actually was. There had been a couple of things poking at me, hinting similarly for a while, but this opened the flood gates. For the first time in my life, I began acknowledging that I have thoughts like:

“I’d give anything to be a man.”

“God, I’d love to have a penis.”

And even: “Why couldn’t have my balls just fucking dropped???”

I finally, after all these years, realized these aren’t cis thoughts (especially when they’re daily, and two of those pretty much are), but it clashes so much with who I have gotten used to being.

Which brings me to reality.

Accepting I wasn’t “cis” was surprisingly really easy. Like I alluded, it was freeing. Coming back down to earth, I had q u e s t i o n s. And being both the person I am and a long term mental health *whatever*, I asked them to myself.

Why didn’t I know/realize/get a hint before age 26? First off, when I look at my life, there a thousand hints that I’m not “cis”.

Second, I didn’t realize because of how I grew up. I grew up in an environment where there is literally a “how cute, let’s laugh” story of me where I cried because I was told by the women in my family not to play with the boys. The “laugh” part of it is them (the women involved) saying, “We should have known then you’d be a tomboy from that incident.” Catcher? The men in my family retelling that story don’t laugh. They say instead, “We realized then you weren’t like them.”

And that’s exactly it. I grew up with a family that had one foot in liberal things and one foot in conservative/traditional things. So, it was a stretch and active thing for them to allow me to always hang out with the “guys”, to build and paint houses with the men, and to do “manly” activities with the men of our family because it was very “feminist” and “independent” which they supported. (Not all, but my parents did so everyone else had to shut up.).

It’s an entirely different thing for that same child to be trans. They didn’t raise a boy. They raised a strong, female daughter.

So me saying things like, “I’d love to be a man,” and, “Can I get boy jeans?” was a part of the strong female identity. That was it.

And so, why I didn’t know?

I think because I did have such positive encouragement to more “manly” things in such a way, that my family simply comforted me in the “womanly” things I was obligated to. And there is so much about being a woman that I hate, but I had learned early on that there were things I could enjoy.

For instance, I sometimes like I having my nails painted. It’s not always, I have phases, but occasionally, I enjoy it. I sometimes like wearing makeup. I know I don’t know much about it, but I know enough. And I 50/50 enjoy wearing it, etc. I love shoes - I don’t like heels tho. And other little feminine things, I can get into the mood for.

So here we are for the last of it, which I will just title mental health and such.

I already have mental health issues (depression) - which, my brain has already began to ring a bell that some of it had/has to do with this - already plan to talk to my therapist.

But in my own encouragement of my mental health, I decided to approach the issue like we do for issues at work. Which means in my case listing what are both real and “in my head” problems.

Why to not ID has a trans man and possibly transition:

- I know I will lose half the family I have, possibly all (blood family)

- I am too old for this - if I was truly a man, I surely would’ve known so much younger and will never be taken seriously as a man

- I am too overweight for a transition

- Money

Why to shelf the idea:

- I’m just now beginning to allow myself permission to think this way, shelving and letting the thought(s) develop could be helpful (note: also harmful, to be considered)

- Even at my age, despite everything, I could be going through a phase. Let it pass.

- I know I am likable and employable right now, as is, so perhaps stay physically as I am no matter what I think/feel.

Why to actually “man” up:

- Because I actually got a lot of just life/maintenance shit done this week by thinking, “You’re doing this for the man you will become.”

- Because I have always looked at men as both “he is so hot” and “I wish I could be that” v looking at women as either “why would someone find this attractive?” and “this is what I’m supposed to look like/want to look like”

- Because I have always related to men, and I have always ever related to women when it was a direct issue involving this body I’m in

- Because throughout my life I have had detailed daydreams of how a situation/reaction/or-just-life would have gone if I was the man I wish I was

- Because the older I’ve become, the more I’ve hated the thought of being a woman and loved the idea of being a man

- Because if I was ever asked what to be, I would be a man. Full stop, no question about it.

But I wasn’t asked, and I can’t, and I just don’t know. So much about “being a woman” has been so grilled into me, expected of me, and the norm for me. And I’ve fought. I’ve tried. I just at best felt comfortable being the girl who never reaches out.

So, fuck it. I’m reaching out. And I’m tagging certain blogs I follow that I hope will be friendly but also give their honest opinion.

#trans #transgender #trans man #LGBTQA #lgbt #idek #trans people #trans help #genderfluid #maybe?#idk #idk idk idk #just throwing this out there #typos and all #lgbt+ community

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crescentmoonhills · 5 years

Text

A Death’s Life

Ch. 1

23rd of Blood Moon, 768 Lunaris year.

In the ashen desert of the northern eclipse continent in front of two hundred thousand army, a single beautiful lass is standing straight holding a shining sword. The wind blows against her sleek silver hair making it flow beautifully as if the world itself is trying to emphasize her exquisiteness even more. Her body covered in shining white adamant plate armor stood firm against the ground unwavering, unswerving, and unyielding. There the hero, Elena von Dämmerwacht gallantly points her sword forward.

A sword. That’s right, a sword. An elegant double edged sword that looked so beautiful it was as if the day and the night itself resides in its body. A sword that is known all across the eclipse continent for its ability to cut a colossal dragon’s scale as if a hot knife through butter.

The Equinox.

Long ago the humans were plagued by the endless wars against demons and their evil gods. The helpless and powerless humans were trampled and treated as livestock to the demons. In their grieves, they plead to their gods for a salvation.

The gods, Sol and Luna, pitied them and lend the humans a part of their souls in the form of a sword. A sword that could cut even the gods themselves. A sword made in the sole purpose to confer judgement to the gods who had defected from the Astral council. And only those of purest heart could wield it.

And that legendary sword of judgement is pointing towards a tall and slender man riding on top of an ashen horse.

A man wearing a giant white wolf pelt over his shoulders which size clearly disproportional to his body. A great black horn sprouting from the left side of his forehead signifies that he is anything but human. His left arm looks as much as the night skies itself rather than an arm. His tiny face half covered by the wolf pelt looks like nothing but a young child. With only his clear and deep blue eyes visible on his pallid face. The blue eyes that seemed to penetrate the soul itself which is peeking through his unkept pitch black hair looks troubled for some reason.

That man is none other than me.

*time freeze sfx*

That’s right. It’s me. You must be wondering how I got here. Well it all started in summer 19- Psych! You thought I was going to use the overused comedic time freeze intro those western sitcoms and movies often used. Jokes on you, this isn’t western, nor it is a movie...

Sigh~ I should get a life for real.

Yeah, anyway, it might sounds cliched but I’m a reincarnated person. Yep, I died once in a planet called earth and now I reincarnated in another world. I already forgot my pasts for the most parts. It’s been like a couple million years since I’ve been reincarnated so no surprise right.

Oh yeah, I haven’t told you my name yet. I’m Death. Yeah, no kidding. I’m one of those so called evil gods the humans often prattle about. Not that I’ve done anything to them but, I am responsible for the deaths of a lot of people y’know. I am the god of death you know, I mean that’s like literally my job so you can’t blame that on me. But the humans sure thinks otherwise and they dubbed me as one of those evil gods.

So yeah, when a lot of people called you “evil god” it’s no surprise that a hero will come and try to cut your head off of you.

And one of those so called heroes is always some OP cheat people who preach about justice whenever they got the chance. Ironically they never even bothered to hear your opinion on the matter. So much for Justice amirite?

Hmm?

What was that? Oh, you think I’m scared of these heroes?

Nah, it’s just that...

Right, listen here. When you live for like a couple millions of years as an evil god, you’re bound to experience things like these like countless of times. It happens all the time y’know. And the most troublesome part is that they won’t stop. If you kill one another hero will pop out in the next decade or so. So it’s a really troublesome matter to me.

Why won’t they just leave me alone or something?

I’m just doing the task given to me by the council. Why won’t they understand. I mean if you wanted me to quit I would gladly do so. If you’re ok with a bunch of undeads going around on your garden or something then be my guest. I’m literally death. What did they expect when they tried to get rid of me.

Seriously this is ridiculous.

And this girl in front of me. Stop babbling will you. I’m so sick of this that I don’t even have the mood to listen to your lecture about justice and peace. God help us all. Wait, I am a god though. Sigh~

“— and for that purpose you have to pay for your sins and accept the divine judgement sent by the gods delivered with my own hands. May—“

“—the stars of Iustitia lead you to a righteous path in the afterlife.”

Elena’s eyes widened in shock as I said the exact same thing she wanted to say.

I don’t have any precog powers but y’know, the hero’s speech never changes for as long as I can remember it anyway.

“Wait— what?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah blah blah. I’m sick of hearing the same shit for every single decade. Can we just get this over with already?”

While she seemed confused at my statement she readily assumed her battle stance ready to fight any time.

“Wha— hmph, fine. If that’s what you want then I will gladly serve your judgement you fallen deity.”

“Yeah, you know what? Just tell me what you want and I’ll gladly do it. Just don’t bug me anymore, got that?”

She got even more confused as she realized that I was trying to parley with her instead of fighting her.

“What nonsense are you spouting about? You as the god of death should be dethroned from your kingdom of demons and should be eliminated. For as long as you live you will bring about more deaths to this world. Now that you’ve heard what us humanity wanted there’s no way you’ll agree—“

“Okay then, I agree.” I said boldly.

“Wha—!!” she froze in her place.

“I quit from my job as a god and as the ruler of the eclipse empire. Happy now?”

“You’re lying!! There’s no way you would just agree to that! And I’ve never heard of a god who quit his ‘job as a god’? That’s ridiculous!!!”

As I was getting annoyed by her constant protests I start grabbing my horn.

And I break it off my head.

“Whaaattttt!!!!!” screamed Elena, aaaand she fell to her knees.

“Damn it kinda hurts y’know. Well with this I am no longer the god of death. Now will you let me go?”

Horns signifies a god’s divinity and roles. It might sounds weird for gods to have horns but that’s how it works in this world. As the sun god Sol has four yellow horns, the moon goddess Luna has two grey horns. And I, the death god has a single black horns with red circles around it. Although I only have one horn it was quite a big one among the gods. But yeah it was nothing to brag about.

“You— You? Eh? What just? Why??!!!”

Aah, I seemed to have broken a young girl’s mind. Umm... not in a sexual way please. But hey, she’s the one who told me to quit and she’s the one who got confused. Women. I could never understand them.

“What? You just told me to quit, so I did. And now you’re confused?”

“But I didn’t thought that you would actually quit!! I mean a god quitting that’s just absurd!!”

Yeah, now that I think of it of course she gets confused. I mean anyone will get confused if a god just quit his ‘job’ in front of them. Oh well, after working for a couple millions of years it’s not that weird for someone to quit their job.

“Anyway, I just quit my job so what now? Are you going to let me go or you still planning on fighting me?”

“Hmph, even if you quit that still doesn’t change the fact that you killed countless of people before. And for that you shall be delivered judgement.”

Not going to back down, eh? Elena and the army behind her all puts themselves on guard.

“Sigh~ why won’t they just let me be? Like seriously.”

Elena’s purple clear eyes are focused at me fully intended on taking my life.

“Okay. Do as you wish but know this little girl. I am the god of death if you decided to fight against me...”

I stopped my words and sends a glare through my eyes for some dramatic effects. What? Don’t judge me, it makes threats more you know... threatening.

“A lot of people are going to die y’know.”

Crap, that was so uncool and anticlimactic. So much for dramatic effects, a child won’t even fell for it. Heck, they’ll cringe at it instead.

But then, the hero Elena, and the whole two hundred thousand knights trembled greatly in the spot. It was as if their souls are grasped by Death itself.

Well, they are facing me and I am Death so that’s a bad analogy anyway. But wow, can’t believe it worked.

“Guh— fine, we will return for now. As long as you don’t cause any trouble afterwards, we will not disturb you anymore.”

Ooh, seems like she realized that she and her army are in danger if they continue to antagonize me. Well I don’t want to kill anyone outside of my job so it’s a good thing for me too if they backed down.

“Dämmerritten! We shall return to the capital!”

And just like that they marched back. The lass seemed reluctant to leave me though. But then again, they let me be for once so be it.

Hmm, now that I’ve quit my job, I wonder what should I do?

Well there’s a lot of things I’d like to try out since I’ve came to this world but I’m practically aimless right now. And the other gods will probably hunt me now since I’ve quit my job without even noticing them. But yeah, so be it.

For now, let’s start with being an adventurer, yeah? Yeahh, that sounds fun.

Alright, off to the human world it is.

#my writing #writers on tumblr #writing #writeblr #reading #books #short story #beginner writer

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mars-the-4th-planet · 6 years

Text

The Battle Ends Eventually

"Any last words, Ozpin?" Cinder said, stepping on his heaving chest.

"Hajhh....urg... Cinder... You and I both know my last words... Wont really be my last."

"Yes but the professor you are possessing might have some? Why not let him say his, since he wont be reincarnating?"

"You might not like what he has to say."

"Shut up Ozpin, let your possession victim speak." Cinder growled.

Ozpin smiled and nodded.

He opened his mouth.

"WHAT IS LOVE?"

"BABY DONT HURT ME?"

"DONT HURT ME..."

"NO MORE."

Emerald started grinning and head bobbing while he sang. "This is the shit!" She said.

"Emerald I can still make a whip out of fire if you keep swearing." Cinder said, and looked down at Ozpin. "You made your point, now stop singing!"

Problem was, his song echoed throughout Beacon and Penny and Uncle Qrow had come flying in on swords and crow wings to save him. Emerald was unluckily distracted and was viciously slashed aside by Uncle Qrows scythe. She tumbled away with her aura low and with light scratches going up her abdomen. "Ahh...! Fuck! That hurt like a-"

"What did I just..?" Cinder formed a fire whip, but then noticed Qrow rushing towards her. She lashed with her whip and in the blink of an eye it burned his hand and wrapped around the scythe. She yanked it back, sending it flying.

Unfortunately for Cinder, it came flying towards her. She used her flame sword to knock it aside, but it distracted her from Penny who was rolling towards her.

Yes, rolling. Penny was in the center of a flying wheel made of swords. A wheel that could slice a person in half, or at least stab them if they had aura left. Cinder didnt notice until the last second, and the only thing she could do was raise her sword in defense. Meanwhile Ozpin continued to sing.

CHIIIING!

Fire and sparks blew everywhere as Cinder was struck by a few swords that broke away from the wheel when it got halted. She unleashed a fireball at close range in a rage, causing an explosion that engulfed her and Penny.

Qrow and Emerald watched. There was just a cloud of smoke and the sound of electricity crackling. As the spoke rose, he could see Penny. She lay there with her legs jittering uncontrollably. Her face and toso had been blackened, but her green eyes glowed through the smoke seemingly just fine. She was protected by a swirling forcefield of swords spinning around her in spread out high-speed orbits.

Penny had nothing really to say. Penny was legitimately scared, as she was not a bot without feelings. Of course, Penny was known to be brave so she could overcome her fear but it remained there nonetheless. She located Cinder above her. "There!" She cried out and pointed up. Cinder was floating on silent halos of blue flame under her feet. Ozpin tried to sit up, coughing, but and arrow pinned him to the ground.

"Oz, no!" Uncle Qrow said, shocked. He had his scythe back, and flung it up at Cinder who was rushing towards him with Phoenix wings.

It missed, because cinder did not actually move from her levitation spot. The scythe embedded itself in the floor several meters away.

"Dammit! Again with the illusions!"

Penny glared up at her, finally having something to say to her. "You.. You killed so many people! Nobody had to die today, if you just stayed home! So many humans and faunus are...!"

"I dont care. And you are just a silly little robot." Cinder said in a strangely seductive voice. She blocked several swords with a firewall so hot that when the swords came through, they crackled and turned off and clattered to the floor. The air itself around Cinder was vibrating. She loaded another arrow into the bow, and yanked back the string...

The string broke.

"What the..."

"My, what bad luck you seem to be having." Uncle Qrow said.

Cinder formed a flaming spear in her hands. "No matter." She said. But there was matter. Atlas soldiers were rushing into the hall. A pair of very brave men loaded a large bazooka with water dust, and fired at Cinder. "ACK!" She was instantly engulfed in steam. The loaded another while other soldiers fired regular machines guns at her. The firewall was less effective in stopping these. Cinder threw a massive fireball their way, incinerating several men.

Penny meanwhile was taking the time to charge up her final attack. It was taking longer to charge than usual the charge up because a few of her swords were non-functional. Emerald tried to warn Cinder but a small piece of the ceiling had dislodged and fell on her head, knocking her out. How unlucky for her.

Penny fired. But unluckily for her Cinder chose that exact moment to charge the remaining soldiers with her sword. Her beam blasted the ceiling in a long arc as she tried to hit cinder with it, but no luck.

"Uncle Qrow!" Penny glared at him. "Youre supposed to be on my side!"

"I cant help it kid, sorry." Uncle Qrow said as he pulled his scythe from the floor by making revert to the smooth sword form and chased after Cinder. Penny flew up off the ground using her swords for lift and pursued her outside as well.

Today at Beacon Academy, the white fang brutally attacked the school with illegal weapons and attempted to free their local leader, Adam Taurus. Adam Taurus remains in captivity. The attack failed thanks to the assistance of an Atlas robot named Penny Polendina, who blew back the gas clouds and stopped many of the criminals herself. This bought the academy time until the turbine suction ships arrived to clear the air completely and reinforcements arrived to secure the grounds. However, there was an attack on the headmaster as well. This attack was carried out by two women, named Cinder and her adoptive daughter Emerald. Headmaster Ozpin was legally injured. The fate of Beacon is uncertain, but an injured teacher by the name of Glynda Goodwitch has been nominated for becoming the new headmistress. "I have plans to change our prisoner rules here." Glynda has been quoted on saying.

Several members of the white fang retreated from school grounds. If you see any members of the organization, contact your local authorities immediately.

General Ironwood: Penny Polendina appears to have been damaged multiple times. A cut in her side allowed for flame to get into her insides, messing up the circuitry leading down in her legs. A few of her swords need to be made for her as well. Oh, the villains? Reports show that two members of Cinders posse were subdued but we cannot seem to find them anywhere. Cinder herself was able to get away without... What she came here for.

Ruby: Penny! Is Penny okay?? Carefully guys, shes a hero!

Torchwick: Stop handcuffing me! I didnt attack the school! I helped defend it! Neo stop giggling this is not funny! Okay I guess it is a little funny but OW LET ME GO!

Cinder: Okay sure that did not go as planned but we did get Ozpin. Thats what really matters right..? I hope Salem understands... Why am I talking to you about this? Go away.

Thats all the interviews we collected. Thank you for listening to Broadcast Radio.

#rwby

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aikainkauna · 6 years

Text

Fanfic trope meme

Apologies to those of you who see this for a third time, as I’ve crossposted it to both LJ and Pillowfort. Feel free to comment over on there (or my other posts) if you like. And of course, feel free to grab this one and do it yourself, if you like.

***

Grabbed this meme from a couple of people on LJ. It's... well, apparently about fanfic tropes. Some of them more terrifying than others.

I have written:

-Hurt/comfort (Yeah, baby! Most of my fic is this.)

-Body swapping (Sort of? Souls slipping into each other's bodies for a bit? Jaffar feeling what Yassamin feels? Sex swap, I've definitely done.)

-Soulmate identifying marks (tattoo, red thread of fate, etc) (I have! The Throne of Solomon. And maybe The Past Forgotten counts, in its way. I may have written more, but I forget.)

-Snowed-in cabin/isolated together for extended period of time (The Jaffar/Pwinzezz Cavefic!)

-Found families (I guess the Samarkand gang counts for poor old Fadl? Even if Jaffar *is* his brother, so technically it is his family. But he does have his religious congregation and Zainab, and is... well, he always does seem to be seeking something, so he's the kind of guy to go for this trope.)

-Fairy tale/mythology AU (And not just when I am writing in *actual* fairytale/mythology fandoms. Which I am doing most of the time, what with Thief of Bagdad being a 1001 Nights fanfic anyway. So I'm writing fanfic about a fanfic of some age-old RPF (fantasy AU!) about historical figures from the late 700s/early 800s...)

-Enemies to friends to lovers (Yes, please! Aplenty. I'm surprised that enemyslash/FoeYay/Hero(ine)/Villain(ess), whatever you want to call it, isn't mentioned on this list.)

-Characters swap roles AU (Uh... I've written sexual switching in some isolated chapters? Like when Laura briefly doms Torsten in The Fall of Angels, to help him get over some traumas?)

-Friends to lovers (With RPS, Veidtbone in particular, and Theta/Koschei. This also seems to happen whenever I write femslash.)

-Magical connection (telepathy, etc) (Doctor/Master basically ruined me for all my other ships what with their telepathic ability. So that now, it feels less interesting for me to write love/sex that *doesn't* have telepathy.)

-Fake dating/fake marriage accidentally turns into feelings (see next trope)

-Royals/political marriage turns into feelings (These last two are pretty much the same thing in ToB, as I've had Yassamin marry Jaffar a couple of times--like The Past Forgotten and The King's White Falcon, but without him laying a hand on her for up to a year, until she finally grows a brain and realises how loveworthy he is after all.)

-Seemingly unrequited pining (Emphasis on the "seemingly." Jaffar's unrequited pining is painful enough in the movie, so there's no point in making him suffer any more.)

-Accidentally fell in love with the mission target (Well, *kind of,* what with Torsten. Lars-Erik was definitely his mission target in the original film, and at the start of Because The World Belongs to the Devil, he made no bones about having wanted to kill Laura Erika [the teenage girl version of Lars-Erik in this AU, to those of you just joining in] when she was born.)

-They break up (but then they get back together) (With Jaffar/Fadl. Fadl's stormed off in a huff at least twice in the past. And Doctor/Master is always the same old on-off car crash, isn't it? Although this is not a favourite trope of mine, as the setup would usually necessitate them being an existing couple in the first place, and I tend to not write canon or "plausibly lovers" ships because they're already happily together. What do Two and Jamie, Holmes and Watson etc. need me for? They're already as good as married. Let them have their happiness.)

-Supernatural creature/human romance (Sort of. I've written Time Lords/humans, humans/djinn at least. And surely wizards count as supernatural romance, anyway?)

-Reincarnation/'25 Lives' AU (What's with the 25 lives? Is this some big fandom thing again? One of the darkest, most fucked-up fics I ever wrote was the Master killing the Doctor during sex and fucking him as he regenerated around him. As you do. And there's reincarnation in one of my Jaffar/Pwinzezz fics, but I won't spoil it for the new readers by telling you which one it is.)

-Selfcest (possibly due to time travel) (I am scratching my head trying to remember when I wrote this and in which fandom, but I have the distinct feeling I've written it. I've certainly whacked off to that World Of Simm!Masters clusterfuck what with the pink dress so many times I... I think I broke two clit buzzers during that time. I've certainly drawn it. And drawn some Connies on Connies. And then there's, of course, Sarosh the Sexbot who's a clone of Jaffar, looks-wise, but he is very distinctly just a robot, not a living character as such--not the sort with which you could have a real, interpersonal dynamic. My problem with selfcest, in general, is that I like having that character dynamic--and that requires the characters to be different from one another. If it's two characters that are too similar--if they fulfill a similar role in the canons--it's hard to create a dynamic between them and to make it interesting.)

-Polyamory (Swinging away ALL the bloody time with the Roses!Jaffar and Yassamin, and Torsten/Laura. Sometimes I miss the monogamous 'verses.)

-Amnesia (I've got a post-movie "Jaffar comes back from the dead" WIP I'll probs never finish, because it doesn't seem to get off the ground. If I wrote this trope, I would have the characters gradually regain memory, though; complete mind-wipes are horrid. I did have Handy lose the majority of his cognitive/motor/Timey skills in No More and that was the main reason I had to... well, I'm not going to spoil it if someone hasn't read it yet, but it wasn't the cheeriest of fics. The Past Forgotten *sort of* has this, but I don't want to spoil as to how that happens.)

***

I could write:

-Daemons (Why the archaic spelling? I have written djinn, so I almost put this in the 'have written' section. I can't remember if I actually *have* written real demons, because I might have. Surely, Torsten counts...)

-'Everyone is evil'/mirrorverse AU (Well, mostly, if I want to explore "evil" characters, I write about those types of characters in the first place, without having to turn anyone evil. Devilry is the 'verse for that. Hell, usually it's the other way around; I try to look for the human elements of the baddies, or at least explore their logic--what makes them tick, what makes them the way they are. So, IDK, I could've also put this in the "unlikely to ever write" section.)

-And they were roommates! (This would be terrible and also hilarious, whatever characters ended up becoming my victims. Even if I'm more interested in those hurt/comfort plots, overall. And I have always found it *impossible* to live under the same roof with other people because I need peace and quiet and solitude too much. So this is almost a bit too much like the sorts of negative RL experiences I don't really want to get more of in fic. But I *could* write it as a comedy for cheap lols, especially if the stress were resolved by hot bonking, ASAP.)

-'They all work in an office' AU (Otherwise, I would've put this in the "just no" category, but... the Barmakids were civil servants. So I *could* write Jaffar and Fadl drowning in paperwork--"WHY DID WE EVER introduce paper into THIS EMPIRE?!?" and cursing their fates and Jaffar restraining Fadl from braining Harun al-Rashid with a paperweight. Same with Lina doing Zainab's books and trying to hold back The Fist of Death when Fadl carelessly drops a piece of his lunch over her perfectly calligraphied accounting.)

-'Falling for a coworker/teammate is a bad idea' except this is fiction so it works out (Maybe. Just maybe. But it'd also be in a medieval ToB context.)

***

I will probably never write:

-'Groundhog Day'/karmic time loop (I just never got the appeal of this. Sounds like the sort of thing experimental writers would like? The sorts who really like filling in bingo cards and challenge lists?)

-Vampires/werewolves AU (I'm not that big on either. Super-unpopular opinion coming up: I prefer sex to the sublimation of it that vampires are often all about; bloodsucking in lieu of sex, and/or being seen as way better than sex just always feel to me like a cheap cop-out from writers who are disappointed in sex, or afraid of it. I've never grokked it any more than that stupid, stupid "chocolate is better than sex" quip from women who don't know what masturbation is--yes, it fucking well is sex, TYVM! I much prefer to make partnered sex better than it is IRL by adding supernatural stuff like telepathy to *that*. Immortality alone is interesting to explore, as are Gothic themes, but all the usual themes that vampires *specifically* usually represent just... either hold little interest for me, or then, I can explore them in other ways.)

-'Pride and Prejudice' AU (I don't hate Jane Austen, but it's not my fandom. That kind of society stuff and being witty over teacups in bonnets has never really been my thing--if anything, I usually have my characters exist in their own bubble, isolated from society and its restrictive mores and social stresses.)

***

JUST NO!

-Coffee house AU/food service AU (AUGH! Please, no coffeeshop AUs for me; the world is full of them already. Maybe I could write it as some terrible, short parody? Or doodle it? But no more than that.)

-Hogwarts AU (Haven't read HP. Young Adult isn't really my genre. I know, I know; I've just lost all my WLW cred.)

-High school/university AU (I've done Time Lord Academy-era stuff with Doctor/Master, but I expect this means a sort of American high school/university AU with jocks and cheerleaders and shit. Hell, no. Again, the exact sort of horrid society stuff I would rather have my characters escape from.)

-Adopting/raising a baby (Erm, not unless you count Jaffar/Yassamin adopting a cheetah? They do have kids in some 'verses but there's none of that everyday baby stuff that this question/trope probably implies. I'm squicked by babies, sorry.)

-Unusually specific occupation AU, like, the Author clearly has the same job (It worries me that this is, by virtue of its inclusion here, apparently seen as normal and acceptable..? When it's crap fanfic, inserting yourself into something that should be about the *established* characters instead. Jesus, I don't want to go in expecting a fanfic, and then find out it’s your diary instead! Unless you're Anaïs Nin. And even if you really *do* want to write about yourself, then just... write original fic? An autobiography? A blog? Write an OC that has your job. Don't do this false advertising where you insist it's fanfic when it's not. That's a dick move towards your readers.)

-Loyalty kink (see next trope)

-Alpha/beta/omega (Too creepy. I can write about piss, shit, incest, necrophilia and cannibalism, but not these last two. Any more than I can glorify the Nazis I've written about; I either take the piss out of them, as with Strasser, or just step outside of their politics and bring them into the land of happy sexings like with von Kolb, with the aim of dragging him out of that madness and leaving it behind.)

-Hot single parent(s) (Please. Rundvik: "You love children." Torsten: "I loooooathe themm.")

-Unrequited pining (Too much of an emotional squick. Has to be requited. I write fanfic to fix things, to avenge wrongs, to set things right. I don't write them to make the characters more miserable than they already are. Unless it's for temporary, character-development purposes, that is.)

#writing #meta #personal #meme #and no #idk what's up with the extra spaces in the formatting either

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