#nothing proves this theory but nothing disproves it yet so

[videogamelover99]

okay but in the chapter 105 dazai was all chill (uh maybe not inside lmao) and it looked like he was waiting for something/wasting his time on a purpose just like you said, then what if he's all like this bc a third party will come and help them get out of this mess, if that goes that way i just want to see verlaine or smt simply thinking abt how it would be cool to finally see him in the main manga after all of this, it would make sense for his waiting for "the storm" i dont think he would just stay in his goddamn basement when all this shit's happening *coughs* chuuya,, and i think dazai would easily contact with him considering how he does with other pm members-- so i think that chapter could especially be a hint for him showing up? or its just my hopes (probably) and i remember u have written about this so wanted to know ur opinions/thoughts if it would slightly make a point yknow and if not verlaine and anyone then who? who can help them if there will be a support,, or maybe its just soukoku on action who knows

Thank you Anon, you've given me great opportunity to insert my Gogol-Working-With-Dazai theory.

[fanfic-obsessed]

Mental Break

Despite the title I think this will be a funnier one.  As a reminder, disregard anything in canon (if such a creature even exists for DC) that contradicts this.

We start with Jason Todd, the Red Hood.  He comes to Gotham having been manipulated by Talia Al Ghul to believe that Jason had been easily replaced by Tim Drake as Robin. That Bruce likely never loved him. 

We are sometime in that strange time after Red Hood delivers his bag of heads, but before anyone knew he was Jason Todd.  He had plans to attack his replacement, but wanted more intel first.  

He tracks down his replacement and douses him with something aerosolized that would induce truthfulness for a short time and asks/shouts at him to find out why Tim took the mantle of Robin.  Tim answers with something to the effect of ‘It was the only option’. Now what Tim means is Gotham needs Batman, and Batman needs Robin, and nobody else was stepping up.  What Red Hood heard was that Bruce was forcing this child to be Robin, that there was some kind of hostage situation going on (Much later, whenever this story is told, Bruce gets an aggrieved, tired look and says ‘I was the hostage in this situation’). 

Somehow this twists through the Pit Madness until Jason is convinced that it was not that Bruce replaced Jason with Tim and that Bruce never loved Jason. Instead he comes to believe that Jason's death broke Bruce so badly that he believes that Tim is Jason. That Bruce kidnapped a neighborhood kid and forced him into the Robin costume so that Bruce did not have to face his son being dead.  Tim is, of course, just trying to survive what must be a terrifying and surreal experience.  It also gives Jason a good explanation why the Joker is still alive (Killing the Joker for Killing Jason means admitting Jason is dead).  Jason manages to hack into the bat computer and get some, but not all, of the videos of Tim’s training and nothing that he got dissuades this belief.  Particularly since many of the early videos have Bruce drunk, calling Tim Jason, and being unnecessarily rough (Some of which was deliberate to try to get Tim to quit).  He also manages to miss any evidence that Alfred knew anything about Tim being Robin, so he thinks that Alfred, in his own grief, is missing the whole ass child that Bruce has apparently kidnapped. 

So now instead of planning a confrontation between Batman and the Joker he is considering the implications of Bruce finding out Jason’s identity. He is asking himself if it would break Bruce further, if Bruce would hurt Tim for ‘pretending’ to be Robin/Jason, if Bruce would even believe Jason. 

To the confusion of all the Bats, Red Hood’s entire personality abruptly seemed to shift. He was still a crime lord, still killing. However, before he had clearly hated the Bats, now anytime he crossed paths with either Batman or Robin he asked strange, aggressive yet concerned questions about their well being and mental health. 

Even more hilariously, Red Hood goes to Nightwing and (after proving that he really was Jason Todd) convinces Dick of this belief.  Dick thinks back to his own first interaction with Tim, where Tim was trying to convince him to come back, and comes to the, entirely incorrect, conclusion that this actually supported Jason's theory. Dick reframes the conversation in his head until it seems as though Tim was asking for Dick to rescue him instead of what was actually happening. He is also only rarely in Gotham so cannot think of a single instance that disproves Jason’s theory. 

What happens next can only be described as Shenanigans. 

Batman, and Robin are trying to figure out why Nightwing is suddenly working with the Crime Lord Red Hood. Also why Batman calling Tim Robin in the field makes him flinch. He keeps refusing to come back to the Cave or the Manor (because Dick is sure he will spill the beans about Jason and is afraid that will break Bruce further) and is possibly trying to lure Robin away. In addition Nightwing keeps asking really weird questions about where Tim is sleeping and how he is getting food and is he going to school.

Nightwing and Red Hood are trying to figure out (subtly, a term which neither actually have any grasp on) how deep Bruce's delusions go, how much Tim understands about what is going on, and how to get Tim away from Bruce long enough to get them all some help. Plus trying to find a therapist specifically for Tim (whom they assume is going to be deeply traumatized out of all this). 

Just all around Shenanigans.

[curio-queries]

SMERALDO GARDEN MARCHING BAND

My thoughts prior to the release of MUSE. I've avoided pretty much all reactions and analysis posts until I finished this so I have no clue if anyone else has come up with better words to describe some of these concepts but here's my take on it. I wanted to get this out prior to MUSE so that I can see how my view evolves with further context but here's where I am now.

Initial Reaction:

I'd actually had a few issues that night so I wasn't in the best headspace to take in a new song but I did listen to it on Spotify first and then watched the mv twice, once without subs and once with. (And yes, I know it's technically not called an mv...deal with it lol)

Anyways, I definitely wasn't immediately sold on it - which is expected from me, it's EXCEEDINGLY rare that I like any song on first listen but SGMB only took a couple of runthroughs before I was on board. One thing that helped me reframe it in my mind and with my previous expectations is to remember the first part of Jimin's self-proclaimed attributes: Cutie, sexy, lovely. SGMB leans very solidly into the cutie aspect, a little near the lovely side but far deeper into Cutie than anything we've seen in his solo releases. (RememberCute was an answer in the seossword puzzle). That got me thinking about where the rest of his songs would be in comparison and here's the placement I've landed on. Some of these have changed over the past few days but I'm curious where y'all disagree with my placements.

Good old Serendipity, a perfect balance of the three in my opinion. All of FACE is firmly in the Sexy section with Like Crazy leaning more evenly into Lovely. Lie is also right there with LC but more closely on the border. My beloved Promise and Letter holding down the Lovely section with CTT straying closer to Cutie. If you forgot about the cutie circle though, SGMB would have seems like it was complete out of the expected range. I am curious if we'll ever get something that's a mix of cutie and sexy, I can't comprehend what that would be like but I wouldn't put it past our JM to find a way!

Theories?

So, how do I think I did with all of my theories? Let's go through them one by one:

Open Locker Meaning: nothing to prove/disprove this yet. There were an awful lot of references to Serendipity in the mv though, so maybe that's the tie-in? I don't know, this one was a streeeeeetch in any case.

Sound Effects Interlude: we know we're getting an interlude but we'll have to wait for MUSE and any behind info to learn if it's sound effects that Jimin recorded himself like Dive.

Rooms Going from Dark to Light: Yes! I mean we knew it was going to be a lighter album than FACE but I think the word BRIGHT is all over SGMB. And I think this technique in both of those videos was trying to highlight that for us.

SGMB as an Actual Band: Yes! Definitely right here too! I'm going to talk about this more below because I think this is actually a very important part of this song.

The Emoji Poll from the Insta Chat: Yes! I think some people are still trying to make the argument that each option is supposed to represent different songs on muse. And while the others may lean more into any of these specifically, SGMB definitely has elements of all of them as well

An Actual Band?

So, like I mentioned in the theory above, I had the thought that SGMB could be portrayed as a fictional band itself, very similar to what MCR did with the Black Parade. And since Jimin decided to use this as the song's title; as well as make it the pre-release track, I think this is an important topic to delve into.

First, this allows Jimin a perspective shift to share with us his career outside the lens of BTS. Not because he NEEDS or WANTS to separate himself from them but he has had his own journey as an artist that may differ from his experiences from the perspective of a BTS member. Obviously BTS is completely woven through this journey and he gives us an acknowledgement of that with the line about 12 June and the handsign.

(Sidenote, whenever I see any of them do that now, I instantly think of that moment in Jimin's pixid ep where he said they don't anymore...I think we may have been misled...) 😝

Second, the frame of SGMB from a band's perspective also puts the song firmly in the categorization of 'work' rather than 'personal'. With FACE being such a deeply personal projectregarding his very deep human experiences, i love that he'svery upfront with us about MUSE being a work project. I've said this before, and it's one of my absolute favorite things about Jimin's music: he crafts it so that we can easily adapt it to our own interpretations. There's a lot of loving and beautiful imagery in the lines of this song that can have special meaning in all levels of relationships; platonic or not. But his delivery if this message to us, is professional. This is reinforced by the suits Jimin has worn in all of the material released so far. He's following a work dress code. (If you happen to see this post within a week of release, we have a poll regarding Jimin's suits on @bts-polls )

ME + US = MUSE

I just want to touch on this briefly here as I expect there'll be more once the album releases but there are some hints already. Like I discussed in my FACE post, Jimin has again come up with some key words to weave through the project. In FACE, it was several sentences but MUSE seems to be focusing on the following:

ME: Jimin himself

US: Jimin's view on his audience

MUSE: His awareness of us and how that effects his creations and manner of artistry.

SGMB and CTT are both bursting with these references and viewpoints. But I honestly don't think of SGMB as a traditional 'fan song'. I have another post where I talk about the different kinds of fan songs. Like I said above, SGMB details Jimin's experience as an artist and how his audience plays into that process. Not like CTT that's literally a diary of our journey with him. Maybe an extremely nuanced take but SGMB just doesn't feel like it belongs in the same 'fan song' categorization that CTT does.

The End for Now

Does anyone know anything about that little hand-wave Jimin does during the bow at the end? He repeats it. Is just an additional flourish that he's added in himself? I've never seen anyone do that during bows after a performance so I'm wondering if it's a cultural/industry thing.

What do y'all think? I'd love to hear your thoughts! If any of you have made posts about SGMB, I'll try to read them now but rumblr is not very forgiving if you miss something in the timeline. I'm very happy for you to share links to your posts in the comments!

[coy80sboy]

Thoughts I have on the appeal and problems of detrans kink as a trans person who likes it sometimes. Hoping it’s helpful to some trans/nb folk, or cis allies. (note: I’ve lived as trans for more than a decade and won’t be stopping.)

First, the existence of people who enjoy detrans kink doesn’t “disprove” the authenticity of trans identity in the slightest. Cis men who say it does are just saying it IN ORDER TO GET OFF. You shatter the illusion if you explain what it’s really about. Which, oddly, I haven’t yet found online.

Kink has everything to do with your personal desires. It reflects you and you alone, not others. It would be the weirdest gaslight if we said a few people loving scat proves all humans love scat… might say you’ve been online too much down a rabbit hole.

But what about trans guys who enjoy detrans? What about trans/nbs who haven’t even taken hormones who are into it? (And I know some trans people look at them and wonder, are they really trans? I’ll set that question aside because it doesn’t really interest me and I don’t think there’s a single answer anyway.)

This is my theory about the appeal of detrans kink. I think wrapped up in detrans kink is a heavy dose of submission and sometimes humiliation kinks. But all the language about “fakeboys” and real men covers up who actually deserves praise, adoration, and applause.

That would be trans and non-binary people. Because, speaking as a fully grown, confidently trans masc person who loves their life being trans, I can say that what I’m getting off to is me. It’s me, at the root of it all, and the titillation of my own body having the amazing ability to change.

To be clear, I’m not reducing trans identity to physical changes or saying I transitioned as a kink. Absolutely not. What I am saying is, the experience of transitioning made me fall more in love with my physical body. Now, others may not feel this way but I do think what they’re getting off to (besides submission or humiliation, which is nothing new) is their body’s transitive powers. That’s their own power, actually.

I call it power because the cis guy is not bringing that to the dynamic. The cis guy needs someone trans or nb, someone who actually has a creative, disruptive, rebellious identity so that he can get off. Let’s be real… the cis men who are strictly into trans men/mascs/nbs for detrans kink, who may like us more than they like cis women… the thrill would not be the same if we were actually cis women.

They’re getting off on the fact that WE ARE TRANS. Trans people are essential to the detrans kink. The fantasy is of “correction” is about control and feeling superior/more powerful. To get that power rush, a cis person requires a trans person.

To trans people who are uncomfortable with or don’t understand detrans kink, I think you need to understand the desire for sub/dom relations (the giving up of control and entering a mental subspace) and then, in my case at least, connect that with something akin to autoerotica… getting off on your own body and talking about it, perhaps doing things to it, and enjoying someone else’s attention and consensual control during that process.

With regard to cis men who want to gather trans subs and indulge in maga talk 24/7, I would of course be suspicious of them and any cis people’s accounts that constantly talk about detrans and wanting to control trans people’s identities completely, and don’t share any supportive trans content that isn’t detrans related. Because they aren’t giving respect to the community whose existence they depend on in order to get off.

In closing — if you happen to be one of those guys and feel mad about what I said, just know idc if you spam me. I’ll either block you or I might engage and get off to it, because I’m creative like that 💋

To everyone else — I get that there are terfs and maga people who find reinforcement when they see detrans kink. Unfortunately, there’s always going to be someone who misunderstands you. And prejudice takes a long time stamp out. Transphobia isn’t going anywhere anytime soon, but we can be clear about what is at the center of transphobia and any kink involving trans identity — it’s trans people. We’re at the center of it, and we’re actually what people are worshipping and needing a hit of.

To young trans people getting taken advantage of by exploitative cis guys… just know that if you take your time, you can actually meet cis men who will love being with you without wanting to isolate you from trans and queer community. Find them and enjoy your kink and your power.

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/hearthvkoo/749106316904218624/hyung-is-going-first-are-their-calls-always-like

I just saw this pic again and it got me thinking. Nobody thought it was a little odd how Tae was enlisting on this day and we got this screenshot of taekook facetiming around 8am in the morning from their separate apartments? I feel like sometimes we focus so much on the moment that we forget to think about what that moment implies.

So taekook were about to be separated for months due to their military service and we know that they were quite busy in the days leading up to the enlistment. Tae mentioned during the last OT4 Live that he hadn’t shaved yet because he still had some shoots to do, and Jk was considering doing more work and as far as we know, Tae spent the day before his enlistment with wooga. So from the looks of things, it doesn’t seem like taekook actually got to spend any physical time with each other before their enlistment. Wouldn’t it make more sense for them to spend those last days together physically, seeing as they were about to be separated for a long time? So why doesn’t anyone seem to find it odd that even on the morning of Tae’s enlistment, we see them facetiming from their separate apartments which means they probably didn’t even spend the night together? I know that we don’t know everything that happens with the guys but it’s just alot of things that seem a little out of place with taekook if they are a couple. I’m not expecting them to have a conventional type of relationship because nothing about their circumstances is normal but if many things are just not falling into place, except our own perception of their words and actions, then what actually points to these two being anything more than really great friends?

Thoughts on this anyone?

I have a couple...

Did he spend ALL DAY with Wooga? Do we know this?

This seems to have been taken at Tae's house. It looks like a flying visit considering they're all wearing coats but maybe they'd just come in or were just leaving. Who took the picture though? Hyungsik mentioned at one of his Hide and Sik fan meets (I believe) that he'd drank with Tae a decent amount of time before enlistment day to see him off so I do wonder if they'd already done their big goodbye.

This was December 10th so this was the same day. Plus motorcycle jacket if you subscribe to those kind of theories.

And I THINK this was also the 10th too though not sure. Also at Tae's house. Wooga aren't obviously visible in a couple of these scenarios.

Could JK not have been there? Edit to add: I don't think JK is a Wooga as such, other than as an in law, but I don't think it would be weird if he was there for goodbyes too? He's spent time with them before? It's not like he doesn't know them well enough to also say a little goodbye to a guy he calls Seojoonie-hyung.

And I absolutely do get them spending the night seperately actually. Cos... it was an very early start and probably not a good idea to lose sleep, uh, playing Uno when you have to literally enlist in the military the next day.

ALSO correct me if wrong but weren't there less cars than members? It's a couple of hours drive from Seoul to Nonsan, I think. What if he and JK were in the car together? I mean we don't KNOW but as ever, all I'm trying to do is not prove it DID happen but to disprove "it didn't happen." Thanks anon. 💜

[mymissalicorne]

Sharing a little DLTD theory I have @hateweasel (tagging in case you want to hear about it) :

Remember when Lilith wanted to resurrect Akeldama (last arc of Devils Like To Dance)? She couldn't because 1) she didn't know if Akedama was his real name and 2) his soul was probably not in limbo anymore, thus had already been reassigned (he's like suuuuuuuuuuuper old).

My theory is that Akeldama's soul was actually reassigned to Ciel ! I have two reasons : - While nothing proves this theory, nothing in canon disproves it ! - THE IRONY Think about Lilith ! Her goal so close to her, yet so so far away ! She dedicated her demon life to see him again, fraternazing with Krampus, killing and hurting people all around her ! She manipulated Ciel and hurt him without really wishing him harm, as she only wanted to reunite with the only person that ever showed her affection ! And all of that was doomed to the start. And why ? Because the man she tried to hurt was the one she was seeking. She could have turned around, in this arc Ciel accepted a few of his enemies by his side (Vincent bones weren't that happy about that) so I'm sure he would've accepted her redemption if she really would've want it. Alas, she turned into a dragon...

The cool thing is that this has like, no impact at all on DLTD. I just think it'd be fun if this soul was constantly plagued with a man or monster conflict and a tendancy to want to get revenge them kill itself in the most grandiloquente way imaginable.

[bleedingcloud]

9/19/24

Anyone who knows me knows that for one, I always say I'll be succinct, and I never am.

Anyone who knows me also knows that I'm a very reserved person. Someone once told me that I'm the queen of deflecting. (If you see this, ily).

Truthfully, this has been one of the worst years of my life.

Irreconcilable grievances amongst a myriad of conflating factors have cast over the wonderful things that I have encountered and experienced this year.

I have always attempted to be a kind and altruistic person. My intentions have always been a pure display of my intrinsic desire to put action behind my words, show up in a multitude of ways for others, and prove to them that there are people who care. It is meaningless to me the amount of time I have known an individual. I will always go out of my way to bend over backwards to disprove theories of isolation.

Regardless of how hard I try, I cannot change this value. I am a problem solver by nature and I want to help. I would drop everything and anything to drive hundreds of miles to be there to show you that you're not alone.

The weight of my endeavors has never felt as fruitless as they have felt this year. This is not to say I have felt any regret over anything I've done. I am a firm believer in people doing things because they want to, not because of some arbitrary obligation.

There are people dependent on me. I don't mean in a "my friends need me!" kind of way, but rather dependents that require financial, emotional, and physical presence. My survival is contingent on the dependency of others.

I feel like this year I've had such a disconnect in reconciling my past and future in this weird space of purgatory.

In spaces of academic elitism, I struggle to connect, having gone to a Title I-funded public school system for the duration of my youth. I make attempts to cut through the class gaps and prove my worth as an academic. These efforts find me in good faith with my professors, but studying alone for hours is nothing more than an outlet to distract from the fact that I am alone. Academia has always been my coping mechanism. I can throw myself into hours of reading and work, and the academic gratification feels fulfilling.

I turn to those I miss and love, but at times, it feels there are these unspoken distances or spaces between, or maybe I have grown away. I am incredibly appreciative of those still in my life that I do love and care about.

My family is a mess I wouldn't attempt to touch in this venting session, but know they're always on my mind, in the most gut-wrenching and painful way.

I've felt this year has just been me being squeezed for juice and there's nothing left for me to give. My cup has not been refilled. My attempts to fill my cup have been going back to my previous mention of ensuring others don't feel alone.

I have been told you cannot martyr yourself, but I cannot conceivably conjure up an alternative purpose. My life is not for me - it is simply a vehicle to help others. That is what gives me purpose.

I have loved and I have lost so much this year. I have reached out absent any responses. It has been incredibly difficult for me to reconcile how I could have so much love in my heart and yet feel so innately alone. I have committed social suicide with the potential intent of committing the real deal. I have attempted to drown the weight in my heart with any means necessary to make it go away. I have screamed and cried and pleaded with G-d or whoever else would possibly hear my cries and tell me it was going to be okay.

I have done some incredible things this year. I have loved and enjoyed and indulged and learned so much. I would not write this with the intent to paint a false image. People have done so much for me and shown me so much love. I'm just trying to keep moving forward. I am searching for alternative means.

The most gut-wrenching pain I have encountered this year has been my expression of love and care in its entirety to those around me and receiving not an iota of love back. Giving my all to someone or something and being met with disillusion and moments of exclusion. I’ve always felt marganilized in various spaces throughout my life, but never as much as I have this year. I am not enough for spaces of elitism, but how could I not be enough or maybe even too much for camaraderie? This is my elegiac moment. I ask for nothing. I should expect nothing.

I'm going to keep pushing through because I know my love isn't wasted and I know my efforts might be fruitless, but they mean something to me. Despite how different I crave to be, despite how much I want to absolve myself of altruism, I cannot. These factors are far too intrinsic to erase.

Hearing someone tell me how much my words, actions, or efforts meant to them make it worth it - gives my life meaning.

If you need me, you know where to find me.

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Have you ever had a Christian tell you science proves God exists?

Yes. It's always the worst, most tortured misunderstanding or misrepresentation of scientific principles, and can usually be applied to any god for the same results.

For example: “science says something can’t come from nothing, so there must be a god,” or “science proved the Big Bang is a myth because explosions never created anything,” or “the second law of thermodynamics says things can’t get more complex.” None of these are accurate.

What's curious though is, if this is true, why is it not on the news? Shouldn't everyone already be convinced by now as a result of the non-stop coverage? Why isn't this the revelation of all humanity, something everyone can know and understand? At the most basic level, where are the scientific papers?

My own suspicion is that such a Xian would insist that science was concealing the truth. Such a person would be demonstrating morbid ignorance of the competitive nature of the scientific process, in which everyone would love to be the one to disprove Darwin, Einstein, Hawking, etc. Unseating these people’s work would be career-making. But discovering “god” would guarantee eclipsing all three of these combined, and everyone else both before and after. Yet nothing.

These are also typically the same Xians who insist that "there are scientists who believe," and thus the notion that all scientists, including the many (not that many, but some) Xian scientists, would collude on something so transformative, so world-changing for everyone, would be the stuff of the most deluded conspiracy theories.

[unavailable-fan]

i've become obsessed with that upcoming arabian-nights-in-future-in-school(?) anime after watching its trailers to the point there all the info about it keeps turning on in the back of my mind while i do other things like it's a plot of some mystery novel so now i kinda have several theories about it, and the thing isn't even out yet, and it will most likely have nothing to do with any of those theories, but they just keep appearing and i just can't shift focus the trailer is mostly ok, well backgrounds are gorgeous, just like in sk8 or banana fish, so that's expected the music and voice acting also seems good, but that's still just trailer, and it doesn't even show any sign of some complex plot or mystery but i guess i just vibe with the style of everything shown and that's why i want it to turn out to be something great won't share any of those theories, unless they will be proved or disproved when it actually comes out, but oh do i have some

[helloquotemyfoot]

Book Backlog Busting Reading Challenge!

A double update because uh... I honestly forgot that I hadn't updated last weekend until like, Wednesday. And I must start this update with a confession.

I bought a book.

But listen, it's a writing craft book, so it doesn't count, right?? Right!! Listen I'm trying to work on my writing okay I need this.

Anyway because it's been a hot minute I have quite a lot of books to update on.

The Dark Is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper is now FINISHED (Greenwich, The Grey King, Silver on the Tree). I am pleased to say that the series really does hold up to an adult, apart from the first book which I spoke about last time. And I still cried at the end god damn it. Really recommend these if you want a charming British fantasy series that's not... you know... That One.

The King is Dead by Suzannah Lipscomb. FINISHED. This was even shorter than I thought it was so there wasn't a lot of detail in it by necessity. It was interesting to find out about Yet Another Whiggish Historical Conspiracy Theory (the tudors seem to attract these like nothing else) which I wasn't even actively aware of, but which the author handily disproves. That alone makes it a worthwhile book.

The Posthumous Papers of the Manuscripts Club by Christopher de Hamel. FINISHED. I didn't enjoy this book as much as his previous one, mainly because of fewer pretty book pictures, but it was still fascinating to see the history of manuscript making and collecting through the ages. Plus I teared up at a scene at the end when the author imagines all his figures getting to sit down to dinner together to discuss manuscripts. It was strangely wholesome. Books are just the best, okay.

The King's Bedpost by Mary Aston. FINISHED. Another one of those short, highly specific history books, this time about one specific painting. I read a bit of this in undergrad and was fascinated by it because the painting in question had been held up in my A-level class as an example of propaganda from Edward VI's reign, but Aston categorically proves that it cannot be Edwardian, but instead is Elizabethan, which completely changes the meaning of the painting. The book is about exploring what meaning the painting would have had to contemporaries and who it may have been made for. This had the opposite problem of The King Is Dead in that it was a bit too meandering and could have done with sticking closer to the point about the painting, as it became harder to follow the threads of the author's argument after several biographies and examples of use of Old Testament imagery in contemporary woodcuts. It was still a fascinating read nonetheless.

And for my next trick!

I mentioned before that I had some books on the Reformation to explore, and I have started on two of those, Reformation Divided by Eamon Duffy, and All Things Made New by Diarmaid MacCulloch. I'm a big fan of Duffy's work already and have seen MacCulloch lecture so I'm expecting both to be really interesting.

Fiction wise, I am still waiting on the next set of Wheel of Time books to arrive, so I've been entertaining myself recently with this lovely edition of The Wee-Free Men by Terry Pratchett (tragically, it looks like these editions are hard to come by so I won't be able to complete the set if I want the rest of the Tiffany Aching books).

Hopefully the next update will be more timely, but until then...

83 books remaining!

It went down less than expected because I added the writing craft book to the list. Fair is fair.

[summerlycoris]

Okay so first up- i believe Stormister got it right when they made those videos about the direction of steel wool era fnaf. If you havent seen them, here they are!

Basically- the gist is the games from before help wanted 1? Are the in universe indie games made by that 'rouge indie game developer' (that was paid off by fazent).

So Gregory, Cassie, Cassie's Dad, Vanessa, pretty much any character from HW onward is going to know about Michael, William, Henry, etc. Because theyre video game character's in universe. And these characters may or may not have real life counterparts that influenced their creation. (The dev did base his games on rumours... but we're not entirely sure what rumours.)

At the moment, the story beats are subtle. I think they are there though.

Except, if this theory is true, steel wool has a problem.

And really it started with SB. Because the story there was pretty botched. If Burntrap wasn't meant to be Peepaw Willy, but just the Mimic impersonating him, then it was too subtle and filled with red herrings. People came to the obvious conclusion- Somehow, William has returned- because the clues to realise this wasn't the case hadn't been revealed yet. (Like the Mimic epilogues in TFTP)

And this is the problem, in a nutshell. Because at the moment, Steel Wool can keep things up in the air. They don't need to commit yet. Nothing has been confirmed in game about whether the original games are how shit like the missing children incident, or even the names and identities of important characters, are yet.

But they cant keep these balls juggled forever?

And im concerned that- IF this theory is correct- no ones going to take it well because no one's expecting it. Just watching videos by theorists on youtube, everyone's using the pre HW games to inform them about important players in the lore still. People still think Edwins a parralel for Henry. When Henry could well be a fictional character in universe.

We dont know if Charlie, or Cassidy, or Elizabeth, or Michael even existed. They could be fictional. William may or may not exist. He might not be a super powerful owner of Fazent and Robotics genius. He may not even be a dad. He could just be some guy who worked at Freddys, didn't like kids and decided to dissapear (insert number here).

I just dont know how thisll turn out. Best case is Steel Wool and Scott stop juggling and let the chips fall. Whether that disproves, or proves, this theory. It doesnt bother me.

Worst case scenario? They keep juggling indefinately, and leave us all in suspense for a story that cant be solved.

Thats the worst option. But its also the option that involves displeasing the least people all at once. People will cling to a story they thinks going somewhere for ages, before quietly falling away once they lose hope. And you can milk a lot of money from fans before they give up.

Let the chips fall? And you could piss off a bunch of people quickly.

But then you get a better story. A story that's willing to actually be told.

[scarlettjade420]

The Words You Said

(CW to sexual assault and suicidal ideation)

I once knew someone whos words dug into my mind like a blade into butter 

your words the violence that started a war inside my mind Turning what once was fields of flowers into a battlefield

Now i continue to associate only with those who matter Who still share the sweetness of words into my mind 

who still share enough care to plant joy filled flowers back into the burnt meadows

I will not talk to you because you put me through so much that you don’t deserve me nor my honesty.

You told me i was Useless

Told me that i was unlovable That i was nothing if not my body.

I now know that holds no truth

because i have people who correct your intentional mistake of words Who reminds me I'm amazing and loved. i think you said these words; attaching them in my mind like a leash meant to make me too scared to leave

But that leash was truly just a noose,each word you spoke another knot of rope Continuously you planted words to make the knots tighten, making the lead continue to constrict

Ment to make me jump

Yet somehow i was staying; tiptoeing on edges, refusing to ever bound off any branch

i remained restrained until i was relinquished from you grasp I still am proud to say I stayed strong, I don't know how, but I know I did. You said i was Stupid

That i was an easy target

That the only vaguely valued view was my vaguely valued body now 2 and 3 years later

Now i am unlearning everything you said I am told, by both myself and others that i am loved Amazing Beautiful Strong smart I have been told exactly how  wrong you were by many of the right people, I believed every word spewed because i had no reason not to, no proof of deception in your words But now your words are just dust from a house far past.

And while i can't report you nor hate you

And i may never spew your name to anyone, although not speaking your title, scotches like a knife set ablaze on my mind and my throat 

Still I never came running back

I never left myself defenseless

i always bit and clawed away

When your groping eyes and gripping paws grabbed at my waist, mauled at my throat desperate to reclaim that control and power you once had When last we talked, you said that without you, that I was worthless with no value. Now i am here and proving that really without me, now you have no worth nor value left you said im unlovable

worthless

That I'm nothing if not my body

you said i was an easy target

that no one would ever love me

no one would ever touch me

I was unlovable

Stupid easy to get

Not pretty enough Not smart enough 

too weak Too pathetic

And that I should be grateful to YOU.

But now, i will disprove your theories and your words of my perceived weakness

because i am not and never was your puppet for you to control; dictate the actions of

you were not a puppeteer nor i a puppet And I know I am healing, because before now I could never have imagined being in this room reading this poem. and i know my therapist is as proud as i, now while i stand here telling dozens of people my story and i’ll do it with a smile on my face You do not matter, i have no use of acknowledging you now they no longer matter to me

they said i was unlovable

But those who matter are the ones that say they love everything about me. (NOTE; anything that doesn't make sense in this post,written form is due to the fact that this is a poem written for a performance i did recently where i would have been reading it allowed to a room of people)

[autisticlee]

so many christian conservatives that hate/criticize science and don't believe in it because "it's not always right/it always changes/they don't know for sure/there's no solid proof/etc" sure do love to believe in their magical sky daddy they never saw with their own eyes but swear is real, just because mommy and daddy and the old bald man at church had told them this since they were babies.

just like much of the scientific theories they're talking about, this god also has no actual solid proof. no one knows for absolute sure that this magical being exists, or anything in the bible actually happened. this god, his son, and every other religious figure could be nothing more than a character in an ancient fictional fantasy novel the ancient people wrote for fun because they had nothing better to do. some say there's proof the "person" existed. but there's no proof they performed magic or had magical things happen to them. maybe the readers got so engrossed and obsessed that it took on this religious culture that persisted for centuries. (imagine if the twilight series took on this form and a religion about worshiping vampires emerged and people a few centuries from now though bella and edward are their original, very real existing, saviors and everyone worships them hoping to become a vampire. I remember seeing articles that thar series started getting religious cults around it. don't know if it was true of just male journalists hating that teenage girls enjoyed something —let's be honest, it was probably that.)

but if you say those things to conservatives, that there's no proof, that it could be nothing more than an ancient fantasy novel, they get so upset and defensive. they won't admit it. they come up with excuses. they turn around and point fingers instead. at least the science they hate for "having no proof" or being proven wrong always admits when it's wrong and is always trying to disprove *itself* in order to find the truth. it's based on theory and everyone should have learned about that in school, so i won't explain it. science, in general, is the study of trying to prove and disprove theories and gain evidence needed to reach a truth. it's ongoing. even these truths are usually accepted as things that can still expand and get rewritten as we learn more.

yet most christian conservatives are often over there saying those bad things about science, which actually realistically applies better to their sky daddy and his son's story. even the meanings of their bible change depending on the language/translation and who's interpreting it, with no solid proof one way or another. their religion is very stagnant. they have forbidden questioning it. they know it won't hold if you do.

they can't believe in science because there is never any concrete evidence, and scientists never know for sure....... yet at the same time, though they won't admit it, they truly don't even know if their magical god exists up in the clouds for sure. all they do is "believe" but "belief" is not proof, no matter how much they try telling you it is. but,,,,it only is if it's directed at their god. if it's belief in anything science? "no, you're brainwashed! it's all fake!"

they preach to you from a kid that you need to blindly believe and if you question it or don't believe hard enough, you get sent to hell to suffer. you're not allowed to think or choose for yourself! but they try really hard to make it look and feel like you're "choosing" it. it sounds very brainwashy to me. it FELT very brainwashy as a kid experiencing this, being foeced to go to church 2-3 times a week and a catholic school for 11 years. it's truly the opposite of what most conservatives preach and rant about. they're all about ~individualism and not being a sheep and free speech and freedom of choice~ and whatever else they yell about that is generally the opposite of how they actually live, lead, and raise their young.

science doesn't do that to you. science is more forgiving. if you dont believe, go prove it wrong! yet they claim scientists are trying to "brainwash" everyone; if you listen to and believe science, you are being "brainwashed." but *they* aren't. no. they're definitely not brainwashed by their big benevolent sky daddy and his magical story book, who threatens to strike them down into the pits of hell to suffer if they get even the smallest inkling of questioning or doubt in their tiny brains.

hypocrites they are!

[luna-writes-stuff]

“Help, I don’t know any of the songs for November Writings, but I still want to request!”

REQUESTS CLOSED

November writings 2023 masterlist

Unlike my other two years, I won’t take requests for other songs, but this doesn’t mean that life just sucks and you’ve missed your chance. On this list, you’ll find a quick one sentence summary of the song (or how I interpret it) and how it would likely be cooperated into a fic!

If your song is crossed out, it means it has already been requested. I’m sorry. First come, first serve. Hope you understand <3

1. I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing (Aerosmith) Pure fluff. Endearing fluff. "I am so in awe of everything you do" fluff.

2. Always (Bon Jovi) "Where would I be without you" fluff. Potential argument/make up fic.

3. As The World Falls Down (David Bowie) Iconic. "Your life may be shitty, but I'm going to help you through it" fluff.

4. Time In A Bottle (Jim Croce) "If I could, I'd rearrange time so I could be with you for all of it" fluff.

5. As Long As It’s Not About Love (Dio) Character A being unable to say "I love you" - Character B knows this, but is patient.

6. Everlong (Foo Fighters) Character A reminiscing an old relationship when realizing how lucky they are to be in their current one.

7. If I Knew (Helloween) "If one day you'd just be gone, I wouldn't know how to ever get by."

8. Francesca (Hozier) POETRY. "You don't scare me off. I'll love you regardless."

9. Jackie And Wilson (Hozier) Hurt/comfort. "I feel like shit, but you make me happy."

10. Wasting Love (Iron Maiden) Indulging in short relationships/flings/fwb, and regretting not feeling love for a person who deserves it.

11. Angel (Judas Priest)

12. Prisoner Of Your Eyes (Judas Priest) Insecurities in a relationship/Character A feeling as if Character B doesn't love them.

13. All My Love (Led Zeppelin) (Yes, I know the actual meaning of the song and it's incredibly sad, but for the sake of fics, bare with me-) Feeling close to one another even after being physically seperated for so long/Reunion fic

14. Run To The Water (Live)

15. Promises (Megadeth) Character A and B are destined for one another, but they can't be with each other/Starcrossed lovers ("I will meet you in the next life.")

16. Nothing Else Matters (Metallica) YOU DON'T KNOW THIS ONE???? Go to the shame corner. Not caring for what others think or do, as long as you have each other.

17. The Unforgiven II (Metallica) Character A has had a messed up life. Luckily, so has Character B.

18. Until It Sleeps (Metallica) I'M GATEKEEPING THIS SONG SOOOO HARD SO PAY HER RESPECT. Hurt/comfort. Character A has been through some stuff and believes themselves to be unlovable. Character B disproves this theory.

19. Home Sweet Home (Mötley Crüe) Reunion fic. That's basically it.

20. Bliss (Muse) Character A being so in love and with Character B, yet also envying that person. ("Everything about you is how I'd wanna be.")

21. Eternally Missed (Muse) Character A feels unlovable, Character B wants to prove that they are not, but Character A has trust issues.

22. Mercy (Muse) Character A goes through some stuff and almost begs for forgiveness for something out of their control to Character B. Character B soothes them.

23. Unintended (Muse) THIS SONG IS TOO BEAUTIFUL TO REQUEST WITHOUT LISTENING TO IT SO LISTEN TO IT NOW. Character A wants to give Character B all their love, but they're still busy trying to patch up past traumas and ghosts.

24. Liar (Paramore) Character A was adament on denying their feelings for Character B for a long time, but Character B has known all along.

25. Just Breathe (Pearl Jam) Eddie's voice can send me to heaven any time he wants to fr. Character A needs a moment of serenity and peace with Character B.

26. ‘39 (Queen) Brian's voice is welcome to send me to heaven too. We have to de-science-fiction this song though, I'm so sorry. Coming back to a place/person, but it's not the same as Character A remembered.

27. Jealousy (Queen) Does this require a summary? It's the title. That's it. It's about jealousy.

28. Who Wants To Live Forever (Queen) Character A won't live as long as Character B (be this due to age, illness, etc.), and Character B struggles with this concept.

29. You Take My Breath Away (Queen) "Everything you do is so beautiful to me" fluff

30. (Can’t Get) My Head Around You (The Offspring) Will they won’t they

[yllowpages]

❝ Could it have something to do with something else? ❞

❝ Sounds like wishful thinking. ❞ She manages a half-smile, just barely amused by the idea that this could possibly be anything else. Of course … she doesn’t even know yet — but that’s her job, isn’t it? ( Apparently, scientists can’t ever prove theories, just disprove them — Elena would say journalism feels the same way. ) It’s the lack of information that scares her, and others, the most ( she’s no stranger to that look in Leon’s eyes ; she's seen it in the mirror ) . And it just so happens to double one of life’s great motivators : the unknown. ( Nothing like fear to wake you up in the morning. )

Her fingers tap against her coffee, either from impatience or the caffeine already in her system ( take your pick ) . ❝ I don't really have anything concrete yet, ❞ she explains, seemingly disappointed in that admission. ❝ I'm still looking into it but — I just can't help but feel that ... ❞ Elena's words get away from her and her eyes drift away from Leon for a moment as a slightly more troubled look crosses her features. Umbrella really did her work for her back in Raccoon City, but she knows this goes deeper. Right? ( It has to. ) She takes a breath. ❝ Even with Umbrella gone — I mean, it couldn't have been just them. Something as big as the things that have happened ... ❞ Her head shakes and sighs. Elena raises her brows and shrugs her shoulders slightly : ❝ Someone else would want in on the ground floor. Either with them or against them. ❞

@fortrauma

[genoc1d3r]

my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b

ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.

I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES

Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.

Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something. 

GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.

Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.

Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”

 Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.

Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this: 

But yeah thats cool

The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving. 

This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.

But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.

Predictions/hopes for the next part: 

I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.

A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se  they died so soon

More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo

More info regarding Meister

Sara going on Maury

Who tf is “Hinako”????

I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.

Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???

I want things to actually change  depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.