#now i only have 3 subjects to worry about but the rest are easy like english

[brokenmenswhore]

can we get a part 2 to proposition? 🥺😩

i have NEVER gotten so many comments or inbox requests for something IN MY LIFE. here you go you horny fuckers i love you lots

a proposition: accepted | poly!marauders

pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader (james, remus, and sirius, featuring alecto, dorcas, evan, lily, and mary)

warnings: exhibitionism/voyeurism (MDNI 18+), smut, virginity loss

a/n: there will be a part 3 IF y’all want it :)

this is a continuation of this request!

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“How exactly does this work?” you asked, looking around the table in search of an answer from anyone present. You were excited, and you accepted the offer immediately, but now craved more detail.

“The only people we have sex with are the people at this table,” James began to explain, “so it’s relationship-y in that sense, but none of us are coupled off or anything.”

“You guys don’t get worried about favorites?”

Dorcas and Lily smiled and let out a small ‘aweh’ at your innocence.

“Everyone brings something different to the table,” Dorcas began to explain, “for instance, I’m not getting the same head from Mary that I’m getting from James.”

Your cheeks reddened and your eyes widened at her crude statement. If you were going to do this, sex had to be something you were comfortable talking about, so you pushed your nerves down with a swallow, but the whole table could already sense your innocence.

“Do we, like, all do it, like, at the same time? Or-“

Sirius smiled. You were fucking perfect for this if that’s the idea you had in your head.

“We can,” Sirius took over, “or sometimes it’s just two of us, three of us, or whatever. As long as you’re only sexually active with the people at this table.”

“Are you sexually active with anyone else?” Alecto asked.

You swallowed hard. “N-no.”

“Ok, and what are your limits?”

You looked at Remus in confusion.

“We gotta ask a couple questions to know what you’re comfortable with,” he explained, but your confusion maintained.

“My limits?”

“Well, when you’ve had sex before, was there anything you didn’t like? Anything you would want any of us doing with you?”

You stared at Remus, hoping someone would ask another question and change the subject. Your silence was more telling than a verbal answer would have been.

“You have had sex, yeah?”

You dropped your head, your eyesight on your thighs where Sirius’s hand rested. You began to fidget with your fingers in nervousness.

Sirius shifted in his chair to adjust the uncomfortability of his growing hardness. He knew you were innocent, but he didn’t know you were that innocent.

“Is it really a good idea for us to bring a virgin into this?” Lily asked, immediately turning to you, “not that we don’t want you, love, but are you okay with this? Like really okay with it?”

“Yeah,” you responded, “but if you guys aren’t okay with-“

A chorus of “no no no we are!” and “it’s okay!” erupted from nearly everyone trying to assure you they were not having doubts of their own, but concerns for you.

“We’ll take it easy at first, and you just tell whoever you’re with if you aren’t comfortable with something, how about that?” James proposed, “we’ll work our way up to other things. No rush.”

You nodded your head, smiling at his understanding. “Yeah, yeah I like that.”

“Good,” Sirius said, “so you just stop me if you want to.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion as you looked at Sirius, who looked back at you as if he was doing nothing, but the hand on your thigh began to move.

You gasped lightly as Sirius moved higher and higher up your thigh, the only thing between his hand and your core being your underwear. He ran a finger over the cloth, a wet spot forming quickly as he rubbed between your folds.

Your cheeks were on fire as you looked around the table, and everyone was looking at you.

You suddenly became very self conscious, and leaned into the crook of Sirius’s neck, whispering, “they’re all just gonna watch?”

“Mhm,” Sirius hummed in your air, tracing the band of your underwear, “that okay?”

He then dipped a finger beneath your underwear, finding your clit and slowly circling around the bud. No one but you had ever done this before, and it was exhilarating and embarrassing all at once.

“Can’t people see?” you whispered.

Sirius chuckled. He was so amused and having so much fun with you, as was everyone. “We gotcha covered, doll.”

The pet name drove you crazy, and you could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter as Sirius began to feel you.

You hid your face in the crook of his neck, but he advised you against it. “Let ‘em see your pretty face,” he said, “you’re here because we all wanna see this.”

Your heart was pounding, and barely anything had started, but you could feel everyone’s eyes on you.

You adjusted so that you were resting your head against Sirius’s shoulder, but could still see everyone, and they could still see you.

Sirius took the opportunity of your movement to move his fingers lower and insert one into you, causing your hips to jolt and you to moan in surprise.

“Sh,” Sirius warned, placing a kiss on top of your head, “we’re still in a restaurant, remember?”

You did not remember. Your thoughts were clouded by the pleasure and embarrassment you were experiencing.

Remus looked around the vicinity of the table to ensure no one else was in earshot, and he leaned over the wood, lowly saying, “you wanna show us all how you come?”

You had never experienced dirty talk, and didn’t comprehend that it was rhetorical.

Your voice was strained and low as you did your best to say, “sure.”

Both Evan and Lily giggled to each other. “You didn’t have to answer, honey, just relax. Sirius is a master at this stuff.”

Sirius pumped his finger in and out of you, your spongy walls convulsing around the digit as his thumb rubbed your clit, intensifying the pleasure.

You felt a drop in the pit of your stomach, and you knew what it meant. You tapped Mary’s shoulder next to you. It was the nearest thing, and you hoped she would catch on.

“What’s up?” she asked, playing dumb.

You only tapped her more fervently.

“Gotta use your words, angel,” James chimes in, “we all wanna hear you say it.”

You took a deep breath, nearly whispering, “I think I’m gonna come, Sirius, I-“

Sirius moved his hand faster and faster, and he was nearly growling as you leaned your body against his, finding comfort in him as you came around his fingers, your legs shaking from the intensity.

Everyone at the table began to cheer as a tease. Sirius removed his hand from you, looking you directly in the eyes as he licked your juices off of his fingers.

You gazed up at him through hooded eyes, attempting to catch your breath as your body adjusted to the absence of pleasure again.

“Is it okay if I stay here for a while?” you asked, referring to your head resting on Sirius’s shoulder.

“Of course,” he answered, looking to everyone else, “good pick on my part, I’d say.”

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“What’s up?” you asked James the next day as he sat across from you at your usual table in the library.

“They sent me to ask you because they think I’m the nicest,” James said.

“Ask me what?” you asked.

“Well,” James started, “you know, you’re a part of this thing now, and they just- we just- oh my god. Do you have a preference on who you lose your virginity to?”

Your eyes widened. “Do I have a preference?”

“This is all consent based, we aren’t just gonna decide something like that for you.”

“Are you asking me to pick one of you to give it up to?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

“Doesn’t it make me an asshole if I don’t say you?”

“Why would it?” James questioned.

“Because you’re the one asking me.”

“I have Lily and Dorcas’s, I’m set,” James said, “taking Lily’s was a win.”

“You’re such a guy,” you joked.

“You’re avoiding the question,” James retorted. “Sirius is the one who wanted to bring you into this in the first place, you know.”

You began to blush. “I’m scared of Sirius.”

“Scared? What do you mean?”

“Yesterday was fun, but for my first time, I’m scared he’d be too rough.”

“Sirius is a big ol’ softie,” James said, leaning back in his chair, “but fair enough. No pressure, angel, just let me know whenever you’re ready.”

You assumed that meant you had time, but James didn’t move.

“You really want an answer now, huh?”

“I kinda really do,” James smiled.

You contemplated your options, sifting through all the members of the group that you could choose from. You would be okay with a few of them, but one felt especially right.

“Remus,” you said.

James nodded. “Remus it is.”

“This feels weird.”

“You could just tell him yourself,” James said, standing up, leaving you with the idea to do so.

After classes has ended, you stood outside the Gryffindor common room, waiting for anyone you knew to walk by and let you in.

“Fuckin’ hell, you guys take forever,” you said as Lily approached, “can you let me in? I need to talk to Remus.”

Lily smiled. “Yeah you do,” she giggled.

She let you into the common room and directed you to the boys dormitories. You crept up the staircase, unsure of who would be there and not wanting to intrude or see something you shouldn’t.

Up the stairs, you found Remus, James, and Evan.

“Hey,” you said.

“Hey,” Evan responded, “you need something?”

“Would you guys mind if I spoke to Remus real quick?”

James and Evan didn’t answer, but instead just stood up and began to leave. When James was next to you, he leaned in and whispered, “hope it’s not real quick,” before departing.

You blushed and turned to Remus, who was kind enough to act like he didn’t know why you were there.

“What’s up?” Remus asked, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“I know James told everyone about our conversation, you don’t have to play dumb, though I do appreciate it.”

“Not playin’ dumb, baby, just wanna hear you ask for what you came here for.”

You took a deep breath and sat down next to Remus, the mattress sinking beneath you. “As you know, I’m a virgin.”

Remus chuckled. “I know.”

“I’d kinda like to not be.”

Remus smiled. “So ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me,” he repeated, “can’t give you what you want if you don’t explicitly ask for it.”

You sighed. “I want you to please take my virginity, Remus.”

“Atta girl,” Remus said, leaning over and placing a soft kiss on your lips.

You reciprocated instantly, shifting your body closer to his as you deepened the kiss. You were not entirely confident in what you were doing, but you listened to your body, which had never been needier.

Remus guided your body down against the mattress, and pulled away when you were laying down.

“You can move back,” he said, and you used your arms to push yourself backward, allowing your entire body to rest against the bed.

“I’m gonna take it easy on you, just tell me if anything is too much, okay?”

“Okay.”

Remus kissed you again, and simultaneously pulled your skirt and underwear off of your legs in one action.

“You want this off?” he said, tugging at the bottom of your top.

“Can we maybe just leave it on? Baby steps, right?”

Remus gave you a sweet smile. “Whatever you’re comfortable with, baby.”

“Are you allowed to call me that?”

Remus was slightly taken aback. “What, baby? Yeah, why not?”

“It sounds relationship-y.”

“Sex is relationship-y.”

“But I thought we weren’t supposed to be relationship-y.”

“You’re about to lose your virginity, and you’re worried about if it’s ethically alright for me to call you baby?”

You blushed.

“I can call you whatever I want, and right now, you’re my baby, okay?”

“Okay,” you responded.

“Unless you don’t like it.”

“No, no, I do.”

Remus laughed. “Okay then, baby.”

You smiled as you pulled his lips back to yours. You were already soaking wet, but Remus still took the time for foreplay to ensure you were wet enough for it to be comfortable.

He softly rubbed circles on your clit, and you instinctively threw your head back against the mattress, sighing in pleasure.

He only stayed for a few moments before moving his hand lower and inserting one, then two, fingers into you. You didn’t really need the foreplay, but he felt bad fucking you without it. He needed to make sure you were ready, especially if you didn’t know how to tell yourself.

He pumped his fingers in and out a few times before removing them completely and unbuttoning his trousers, pushing them down, and crawling back on top of you.

“Are you ready?” he checked in.

“Yes,” you said, deciding explicit verbal consent was important.

Remus pumped his cock a few times before lining it up with your entrance. He pushed the very tip of his head in, getting his bearings before he drifted his gaze to your face, desperate to watch your reaction to feeling him for the first time.

He pushed in slowly, pausing for brief moments anytime your face contorted a little more than usual, and he took his time. He was in no rush, and he was focused on your comfort, which you appreciated.

When he finally bottomed out inside of you, he stilled, waiting for you to adjust to his size.

“You alright?” he checked in when you hadn’t opened your eyes or made a noise for a solid 30 seconds.

“I’m alright,” you assured him, “you can move.”

“You sure?”

“Mhm.”

Remus slowly pulled partially out of you before pushing back in. He was moving excruciatingly slow, and was fighting with all his strength not to ruthlessly fuck you into oblivion.

He began to pull out a little more with each thrust, studying your face to gage your comfort levels. By the time he was pulling almost all the way out he could physically see your muscles relax.

“How ya doin’?”

“I’m okay,” you whined, “hurts a little, but it’s going away now.”

“You wanna stop?”

“No, please keep moving,” you moaned.

Remus growled lowly and began to fuck into you again, moving slightly faster, but it wasn’t enough for you.

The burning pain had dissipated, and now all you wanted was more.

“Remus, please, faster,” you whimpered, and Remus’s body instantly responded.

He began to move faster and faster, setting a steady, relatively fast pace as he fucked in and out of you.

You ran your fingers through the hair on the back of his head and pulled him into a kiss as he fucked you, allowing him to swallow your moans and whines.

“Shit, you feel so good,” Remus praised, “I forgot how tight virgins are.”

His words added to your arousal, and you began to squeeze Remus’s cock, adding to his pleasure.

“Fuck,” he moaned, “I won’t last if you do that.”

“Can’t help it,” you moaned out.

Remus began to fuck you even faster, and your back arched up off of the bed at the new intensity. Remus took the opportunity to wrap an arm around your waist and hold you closer to him.

You were squirmy and whiny. “Relax, baby,” Remus cooed, “just let it feel good.”

You took a deep breath and tried to relax, relishing in the feeling of Remus’s cock pumping in and out of you.

“Feel good?” he asked.

“Mhm,” you hummed in response, “can’t- gonna-“

“You wanna come?” Remus taunted, “you wanna come on my cock?”

You nodded your head frantically, grabbing at the arms propped up directly next to your head for any support you could find.

“Wanna feel you, baby,” Remus whispered in your ear, and his words did you in.

You squeezed Remus tight as you came. Your back would have arched more if Remus wasn’t holding it in place. Your thighs were shaking violently as you continued to squeeze around him.

He forced himself to slow down as you came down from your high. When your breathing had reset, he pulled out of you, giving his cock a few pumps with his hand before he released onto the sheets next to your waist.

You wiped sweat-soaked hair from your forehead. “You could have done that on me.”

Remus grinned, “I could have, huh?” He leaned in and kissed you before standing up to retrieve you a towel.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, thank you, Rem.”

Remus’s heart swelled at the small nickname. “Fuckin wait until I tell everyone about this.”

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taglist: @alixmarauders @riddlemenottsluttyslytherin @twilightlover2007 @hcqwxrtss123 @queerndepressed @prongs-wolfstar-marauders @flowersarcute

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Love guidance"

[TW: PILES MAY HIDE TRIGGERS FOR SOME OF YOU, ONLY READ IF YOU'RE IN A GOOD PLACE AND FEEL IT'S FINE TO]

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read some suggestions or infos on what is about to come in your love life or what you may still need to heal in order to receive your love blessings and dreams. for singles, taken and into situationships (adapt to your case).

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life and of your decisions.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

I think most of you may already be in a relationship or something. Lot of plans about the future, lot of imagining how things will be and turn out (okay, some of you may just love to daydream about love). But there's a need to talk about things. You may tend to always look at the best side, the half filled glass, but it's not that the empty side doesn't exist. You probably need to be more grounded when it comes to love, a bit more practical. I didn't want to write it at first but now that I see the reason behind hearing it after one line, and well... you seem a bit naive at times, or tend to avoid (for any trigger) to see the negative part. This is something that, especially on the long run, may turn out to be toxic and make you unaware of what is really going on inside of you and the relationship itself. It feels like you dream about the perfect relationship, the one we find in movies and books and imagine it will be easily so with the right person... tbh, in reality, it's not so easy to realize. You need to put in effort, you need to find compromises, you need to realize also what is going wrong with the other, you need to stop and sit and talk things out. Problems never solve on their own, nor the other person can always read your mind (and probably you cannot always read theirs correctly either... and that's normal). Maybe you think your friends or people you apparently know, seem to have a perfect relationship (whatever you consider it to be) but honestly, you don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. What is the effort they put in to keep it all together. Sure, some relationships may have less bumps than others, as if they were written in the stars, but it's not that they have no problems ever. Especially if the people involved isn't entirely healed or willing to talk things out without wearing any mask. So yeah, your suggestion is to try and be a bit more grounded and realistic, to look inside and try to check what are the things you may be able to compromise on and what not (it's okay if you don't want to back up on specific subjects, stand your ground always and don't fear the other leaving you -if they do, it wasn't your person after all), and find ways to really balance this dream relationship with some more practicality. Your relationship is a good one (if you're in one), but again, do not pretend things are better than how they feel inside of you. Sometimes we need to build love with our hands, decide to keep it and choose it everyday (even on bad days), and to work together towards a common goal. It just doesn't always fall on us and stay perfect and immaculated forever with no effort from our side.

If your problem is the opposite, i.e. that you worry about the negative side of your relationship more than the positive, please again, talk things out with your person. You are a team now, you work together and you can work things out. It's not all on you as it's not all on them. Joys are doubled and problems are divided by two. You can reach your dream relationship, but again, have no fear of ruining things by talking and speaking your truth and worries. You're in a team for a reason, which is to not have to deal with stuff alone but to have someone you trust and that supports you by your side. And even if you're not a team yet, try to not focus on what may go wrong, but enjoy the process a bit more and be positive.

song: true love | soja

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pile 2

I think you may have undergone some kind of trauma related to love. It could be from a toxic environment you were in while growing up or a past love/friendship that didn't end too well. I think you may now still be (even just unconsciously) be a bit closed off to love, scared of commitment or of intimacy (emotional and physical) or just feel not good enough to receive love, to be loved as you'd like to. There's a blockage about receiving, no matter how hard you actually in your heart you need and want to feel loved and are searching for love. You unconscious mind is sending you signals that are telling you "It's not safe" and keeping you in this same but known and safe mold (I'm channeling the song "Churches and Serial Killers" by Emery atm and I think it's so perfect cause it talks about different problems y'all may have. It may be triggering for some so only check the lyrics if you want/feel like). I think you may not have had a safe place for yourself, people used to invade your space, like enter your room with no permission: you ended up having no privacy of sort, no freedom, as if you were not to be trusted or "unable" to do things on your own, and this made you realize you are basically not allowed to have what others have cause you miss something compared to them. I'm so sorry pile 2, control issues from others are hard to deal with, but it wasn't on you. It's their triggers moving onto you (which ofc, doesn't make it any better for you at the end of the day... just do not feel guilty, please: you have no reason to. You are very trustable and enough, very enough, to have what any other person has and even more). You also may fear not being enough to be loved back, you may compare to others again and feel like they're better. You may even try to find compromises or be okay with "easy" loves. But it's probably all caused by this pain you bring inside of you, very likely a childhood/teen pain (not necessarily, again: it may just be a past toxic relationship). I can se you cry pile 2 and I am so sorry. Again, please, be aware you have nothing wrong in you. Talk and stand your ground, let your needs be heard and met by everyone around you and create boundaries to save your own personal space. You can do that, it's not too late. And you can be loved as you want, if not by your closest ones, by the people that is coming in for you and for you alone. Look inside, be kind with yourself and give to yourself first. It's time to do this. Learn what it is that is blocking you and the reasons behind this blockage (if you cannot do it alone, ask for help and support). What it is that is sending you off track, somehow. Appreciate all you are really, not what another one's trigger wants you to be. Validate yourself. Let love in, and be demanding too (you can! Do not settle for easy things). I think for some a loving message from your Guides (or maybe a potential love interest for a few) is coming in soon. Let them help you. If you need to take a pause, just do that. Follow your guts, you will get out of this and find your people and special person (if you want romantic love too).

song: churches and serial killers | emery; so sick | ne-yo (it's funny cause while preparing the page for the reading, I had written "songs" for your pile and in the end I channeled a song for you as for everyone else but you also had the other popping up in your reading... lucky ones, heh)

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pile 3

Pile 3 is there something you are avoiding to think about or realize? I don't know why but I really cannot find a way to read you. It feels like you're hiding something... Love feels like light, like enlightment, like hope... but, you always turn it outside probably. What about you? I think it's time to heal your heart first. I don't know there's something I cannot quite get with you... maybe you can't either. Confusion, darkness... You have so many dreams involving love, not just with your partner (current or future), but also different types of love. But something is hindering you from realizing you deserve to get it back too. Be brave, what is blocking you? There is something inside probably that doesn't let you see the light, that doesn't let you experience fully the love you feel and want to give away, and the love you want to receive. It may be self worth. Start to look at things from a different point of view. Why do you feel you are not worthy? What makes you feel so? Is it something that happened with someone or maybe when you were little? Stop for a moment. Loves feels far from you atm, someting you are afraid you won't experience so easily or at all. Is it so? Darling, this is not true. Maybe you got turned down too many times, maybe you felt like giving away too much and receiving not enough... maybe there are a lot of past experiences that made you feel like this, so unworthy. But you're not unworthy. I think you are just tired atm. You need to give yourself a break, and start loving yourself first. Go out, enjoy the nature, go for a walk, listen to the birds singing, bask in the sun... just do anything you want to remind yourself of your worth. Appreciate yourself. Just get away from the problem for a while. I'm not saying to pretend it doesn't exist, but to give yourself a break, to find your balance again, to regain control over your emotions. Sometimes moving our focus on something else helps us clearing our mind, so when we're back on a problem, we can look at it with more clarity. So try to cure your own heart. Give love to yourself now. And learn how you want to be loved. How you need to be loved. Love will come in your life, you won't be staying alone for all your life. It will come the moment you'll be ready for it, you'll be feeling good enough to not push it away, not even involuntarily. The moment you won't sabotage yourself and your dream type love. Love is not far, love is inside of you. Go back to it. And it'll reach you from the outside too. Sooner than you think. But now, give yourself a break and go easy on you. Your message is pretty direct here: take some time for yourself, to realize your worth and lovability, and then go after your dreams. And be bold in your dreams. My solar plexus is hurting: if it's a problem about being seen and judged by others, about self worth/self esteem (as mentioned) please, realize that people don't judge you. They just judge themselves through you most of the times or judge you in fear of being judged themselves. You're just a trigger, or someone to be envied. It's their problem, not yours. Find yourself and be yourself [ps. some of you: your lover is waiting to meet you, but please first focus on you to get ready].

song: the 7th sense | ntc, ntc u

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pile 4

Patience. Meditate and breathe. These are the first messages for you. I think you want a love that is stable and pure, that is growing and feels like home. Something that is calm and not stormy, despite you don't disdain passion. But that's not the storm we're talking about: I think you've been through a lot emotionally and now you want some peace of mind, a safe place, a home. Something to count on and long lasting. I think you may need to take a pause indeed. I kinda had to stop your reading in order to clear my mind and it's something I don't like doing cause it takes me away from your energy and I need to get back to it again. Maybe that's a sign that you too sometimes feel disconnected from yourself and need to find your way back to yourself. Maybe right now your heart is filled with doubts and insecurities, pain too. But trust me that clarity will hit you at the right moment. What you're going through now is only a test, something to check how ready you actually are for what you actually want and need. Your Guides are very protective of you (and probably of what's in store for you too). Trust them and their guidance. And don't be scared to talk with them or ask them to send you signals, they're willing to help you anytime you need. They're there for you. I think you still have problems in finding your way out from your issues and insecurities, your way out of your own mind. You have buildt this cage and it keeps you in, it kinda self sabotages you into not seeing how close you are to what you actually want, how deserving you are. Fears are blocking your happiness. Honestly it can be different types of fears, related to you or your self worth, but in a different way than it was for pile 2. You close off from yourself too. From who you are and how you feel. You cage yourself in and don't want others to be in, cause you're scared of having judged your feelings wrong or of not being loved or... Idk, I'm just very tired with you. It's a very heavy energy. What is going on, dear? Are you scared of your own feelings? Of not being able to properly name them or feeling them correctly? Of realizing that what you want, the love you want, isn't actually the love you deserve or that you cannot get it from the person you want? Okay, darling, breathe a minute and follow me. If any of these resonate, I want you to stop, calm down and answer these other questions: would it be a problem? And why? Again, stay calm. Do not panic. There's nothing to worry about. Not even finding out the answers to these questions: it's not something you should worry cause you're only trying to know yourself and you can talk with yourself at any time, also through your fears and triggers, as a best friend would with you. We're also talking about future things, very likely (for most of you at least). I think you are letting yourself wonder into stuff that is not yet here (and that you cannot very much directly control). Take it day by day, focus on your dreams and desires. If something is supposed to happen, it will. Do not rush things, do not fear running out of time. You've got plenty. Take a breath, darling. You don't have to make decisions now. It will come that day, but you can take your time and do not stress about it now. Focus on healing your fears, on being with you, present in yourself and get out of your cage sometimes. It's okay. It's all good. Focus on the now to make your future. Baby steps before flying away.

song: the silence | manchester orchestra

[saber-monet]

“They’re talking shit” manifesting technique

Or

“Let them talk shit” Method

So this is the technique that I used, and still currently use as an over-thinker to manifest my desired reality and maintain my desired mental state.

So back in college, I was insecure. The type of insecure, where if I hung out with friends and then I left the room, only thing that would be racing through my mind would be the idea of them talking about me behind my back. Like Just talking the most shit and calling me out of my name. Granted these are the types of friends I had back then, I now know better.

So here was the pattern :

Every time I left the room, and I felt insecure about something I had just said or done, I would imagine them saying bad things about me or finding me weird of off putting. The things I would imagine them saying, would break my heart. So I put a stop to it.

And I recognized those people were not in the room with me and I was using my imagination to hurt myself .

I could have been imagining them saying anything because I have that power and I’m choosing to see them saying most terrible things about me. So, I made the decision to imagine them still talking shit, but this time it was about all the good things I wanted.

( you have to keep the same hater energy when you do this btw)

Example:

“Who does she think she is? Just because she has a great body and works out and is always in a happy state of being. She think she’s better than us. 😒.  she think she’s rich too. She only has about $100,000 in her bank account. The rest is tied up in the stock market and crypto currency. So she technically doesn’t even have that much money. 🙄”

“ she wants to be an influencer sooo bad .ugh, So what if your YouTube channel grew by 200,000 subs in less than 3 weeks and you’re getting amazing sponsorship oppertunities. So what bitch you ain’t pewdie pie. You don’t even have 1,000,000 subs yet . Pipe down”

So in those examples, I just affirmed a reality where:

- I great healthy body

- im in a happy/content state of being

- $100,000 in in my bank account

-I have plentiful bountiful investments/crypto currency

-my YouTube channel successful

-I’m getting great sponsorship opportunities

And because I used other people to affirm those for me, it’s a stronger self concept/reality. Because I’m affirming it in, first person, third person and second person( by default).

This technique works with any “negative” dominating emotion.

So if you were anxious or have anxious dominant feelings. Start affirming, anxious thoughts that you would WANT to have.

For example:

“I hope my professor doesn’t hate me for being more educated/smarter on the subject than he is 😭. Like I get he spent years in school studying this stuff, but it comes easy to me and surpass his expertise every time without fail. I hope he doesn’t think I’m trying to show him up😰”

“ I hope the bank doesn’t get suspicious about how much money I’ve been depositing into my account. 😥Plus I’ve been getting so much money this year from random sources, in such large amounts, I’m kind of worried that the IRS is going to get involved and make filing my taxes a little complicated this year.☹️”

So, in those two short sentences, you just affirm that

you’re smart,

you’re doing well in the class, and

you’ve been getting large amounts of money throughout the year, from expected and unexpected sources. 

Remember if you want it, you can get it. Try “under-thinking” , it’s easier than you’d expect. No matter what state you are in. If you were able to tell a consistent story about how you want to be, you’re good.

* when I use the word “negative”, I’m talking about the words you are using to describe the situation. Because by default every situation is neutral. It doesn’t become positive or negative until you choose to assign it a value .

Don’t force yourself to be happy, force your thoughts to tell a better story. One that wouldn’t mind living out and experience. And the only except thoughts that affirmed the reality that you want. From any angle. You have to learn when and how to work with your emotions. Emotions are only bad if you identify them as bad.

When you come up with any other examples, please, I would love to hear them. share them with me.

[life-at-hogwarts]

Darkness within (House of Gaunt)

Pairing: Ominis x GN! reader

Warnings: mentions of drinking, intrusive thoughts, panic attacks, hurt/comfort

Word count: 3.3 k

“I’m sorry I’m making it so difficult. I wish I was easier to love.”

“Nothing about you is hard to love. In fact, loving you feels as easy as breathing. You don’t need to be ashamed of your scars. I know what I signed up for, and I haven’t changed my mind.”

Summary: Bromance. Violence. Trauma.

A/n: More emotional torture because that's just how I roll.

Chapter 5 of House of Gaunt

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 AO3

If you hadn’t felt the lack of sleep when you came back from your date night, you certainly felt it now. You had struggled to pay attention in your classes all morning. Partly because you were so sleep-deprived your brain could barely process what was going on, but also because just sitting next to Ominis made your stomach flutter. All you could think about was kissing him and your mind kept wandering back to the night before. Your distractedness cost you 5 housepoints in potions class when you accidentally added too much leech juice, causing the liquid to burn through the cauldron and flooding the potions stations of all those around you.

By lunch you were so exhausted you seriously considered skipping the rest of the day and calling in sick. You listlessly pushed your food around on your plate and fought the urge to rest your head on Ominis shoulder. The blonde had been quiet all morning, struggling to stay awake and was now resting his head in his palm, lost in thought, his meal still untouched.

“What’s on your mind?” you asked and pushed your plate away, officially giving up on trying to choke down lunch.

“Sebastian wasn’t in his bed when I came back. He must have spent the entire night in the Undercroft studying the journal,” Ominis sighed. “I’m worried about him.”

Since both of you had skipped breakfast, you had only seen your freckled friend briefly in class today and you hadn’t had the time yet to catch up.

“Have you tried talking to him about it?”

“He doesn’t listen!” Ominis groaned exasperated and tiredly rubbed his face. This entire thing with the journal really ate at him but you didn’t want to get caught in the crossfire between him and Sebastian. “His obsession with finding a cure is going to be…” Ominis stopped in the middle of the sentence and muttered under his breath,“Speak of the devil...”

You didn’t have to look up to know that Sebastian must be on his way towards the Slytherin table. No one could sneak up on Ominis, especially not Sebastian, whose footsteps and heartbeat he knew as well as his own. The freckled brunette slumped on the seat next to you, looking about as bad as you felt. Judging by the dark circles under his eyes he must have gotten about as much sleep as the both of you.

 “Sebastian! You look awful. How long did you stay up?”

“You’re one to talk. I know the two of you snuck out last night too. How was your date by the way?” he shot back, a taunting smile on his face. You laughed and gave him a cheeky wink.

“Don’t try to change the subject. We are worried about you,” Ominis chimed in, his voice sounding strained and tired.

“Look I don’t feel like being interrogated. Leave it alone. Seriously,” Sebastian groaned, unable to hide his annoyance. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, and prayed they would leave you out of it. Trying to diffuse the tension you dramatically collapsed on the table, burying your face in your crossed arms. “Merlin what I would do for a quick nap right now. Do you think Professor Binns would even notice if we missed class?”

“Nice try darling, but I am not risking detention for a nap,” Ominis sighed and let his fingers run through your hair. Surprised by this public display of affection Sebastian raised an eyebrow but remained silent. It must be odd for him to see his best friends dating, you thought to yourself. I hope he doesn’t feel left out.  “Says the one who falls asleep in class,” you replied teasingly and laughed when Ominis pretended to pout. Sebastian joined in and just like that the tension between the two was gone and they were back to being best friends.

“Watch out Ominis. Mc will lead you down a dangerous path. Sneaking around the castle at night, skipping class, soon you will join us on our little excursions in the Highlands.”

“You wish. I don’t even want to know what you two are up to when I’m not around.”

“Don’t worry I will take care of your sweetheart,” Sebastian grinned, earning an annoyed eyeroll from the both of you. Then he added, “I’m happy for you. Truly. You two deserve to be happy. Just keep the snogging at a minimum when I’m around, please.”

----------

You clutched your scarf, buried your nose in the soft fabric to protect it from the sharp wind so typical for the Highlands and hurried your steps. The path to Hogsmeade was usually filled with Hogwarts students, but to your luck the weather seemed to have scared off most of them. The sky was dark and hung with even darker clouds, and the wind tugged on your clothes mercilessly, no doubt the presage of a storm. You rushed past the shops on main street and made your way up to the town square where Sebastian already waited for you at the foot of the giant willow tree.

“Hope you didn’t have to wait too long,” you greeted him, still out of breath.

“Tell me again why we didn’t just meet at the three broomsticks?” your friend grumbled as he tried to keep his thick brown locks away from his face.

“It was your idea to meet here,” you protested but your friend gave you a playful nudge to signal that he was just messing around.

“Tell you what the first round of Butterbeer is on you and we are even,” he laughed.

Only minutes later the both of you warmed your hands on the warm mugs and inhaled the sweet scent of the liquid. The three broomsticks was relatively empty but you welcomed it. The things you and Sebastian usually discussed required a certain degree of privacy.

“So, tell me about your date,” Sebastian wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. He seemed to be in a good mood today.

“Didn’t Ominis already give you a play-by-play?”

The brunettes face darkened. “Not exactly.” Seems like I’ve hit a nerve. Of course, you had noticed that something between them had changed ever since the scriptorium. Usually, you tried to stay out of it, but today you felt like you had to ask. “What’s going on between the two of you?”

“The usual. We’re still having…a disagreement over the spellbook. I’m sure your beau must have told you all about it,” he scoffed, and his entire demeanor changed. Gone was the lighthearted mischief maker that you knew and loved. You had seen and felt his dark side several times, this irritable, angry and bitter version of him and knew arguing with him would be pointless but you had to try.

“He’s worried about you because he loves you, you know?”

“If he loved me, he would help me find a cure for Anne,” Sebastian spat, his voice cold as ice.

“Don’t be like that.”

“Of course, you take his side.”

“Now that we are courting you mean. That doesn't change anything for me. Our friendship is a separate thing, I’m just trying to understand what’s going on between the two of you,” you protested and fought the urge to roll your eyes. It was unfair of Sebastian to accuse you of taking sides, when you had always been there for him to help him execute whatever crazy plan he had come up with.

“Don’t. This is between Ominis and I. Now let’s talk about something else. You still haven’t told me how your date went,” he tried to diffuse the situation and gave you a tired smile. “But first, I’m going to get us something a little stronger.” You couldn’t help but smile too when you watched your friend work his charm and quick wit to convince Sirona to slip him two glasses of Firewhiskey.

On your way back to the castle you felt the alcohol taking effect, keeping you warm from the icy wind. Next to you, Sebastian swayed dangerously – he had had even more shots than you. We are going to be so hungover tomorrow. The way back to the castle felt endlessly long. This was made even worse by Sebastian who tried to lay down on the floor or run away from you every two minutes. You felt like a babysitter chasing after him and getting him to follow you. When you finally reached the castle, you decided to escort him to the dorms. Ominis welcomed you with raised eyebrows when he noticed the state his friend was in and together you dragged him into their room. After you had taken care of your friend, Ominis accompanied you back to the exit of the common room. “I take it you two had fun tonight. I’m going to have fun holding back his hair all night, judging by the condition he’s in.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Of course not. I’m just tired,” he quickly reassured you and placed a quick kiss on your lips before he backed away and made a face. “That bad?” you giggled.

“Let’s just hope you don’t run into any professors.”

Still, he didn’t back away when you pulled him closer for another kiss. You buried your fingers in his hair and pressed your cold body against his warmth. He replied by deepening the kiss, his tongue starting to explore yours, as he tightened his grip on you. You enjoyed the way he shivered and gasped under your touch when you ran your hands down his spine. Then suddenly, the warmth was gone. Ominis had forced himself to pull away and left you longing for more. You looked at him, puzzled, and watched him catch his breath. Why did you stop? “We shouldn’t. Not here. Not like this,” he finally managed to get out and gestured at the room. You didn’t care. Ominis cupped your face and placed a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“You know how much I want you. But this is not the time or place.” Pretending to pout you turned away from him, but you were too drunk to keep up your pretense and started giggling. 

“Go to bed, darling. Sleep it off. I have to go look after Sebastian,” Ominis murmured softly and stroked your cheek. “Are you going to make it back to your dorms safely?” The concern in his voice made your heart soar. It felt good, being loved this way. “I’ll be fine,” you reassured him and reached for his hand. He pulled you into a hug instead and you buried your face in his chest, listening to his heartbeat. “Goodnight, darling”, he whispered and placed another kiss on the top of your head.

As soon as you stepped through the doorway into the corridor someone grabbed your arm. “Ominis…,” you giggled and turned around. You froze when you were met by Marvolos piercing stare and instinctively took a step back.

“You know if you want to be with a Gaunt so badly, I would be the better option. I don’t get why you waste your time with my crippled brother. It’s not like he is going to inherit anything,” he sneered, his voice dripping with hatred and disgust.

Without hesitation you took a swing and punched him. Hard. A disgusting cracking sound echoed through the empty corridor, followed by a long silence. Finally, Marvolo looked up, a nasty smile on his lips, blood dripping from his broken nose. You suddenly became aware of how helpless you would be if he decided to fight you right now. Still half-sedated from the alcohol you were an easy target. You clutched your wand and waited for Marvolo to retaliate. Nothing happened. The only sound was the steady dripping of blood onto the stone floor. It made him look even more dangerous. Even though he was younger than you your instincts told you not to underestimate him. According to Ominis he took great pleasure in practicing the Unforgivables on other people. After a few more moments that felt like an eternity he simply turned around and vanished through the entrance of the common room. Your hands were shaking when you made your way back to your dorms. Whatever this was with Marvolo, you could feel that it was only the beginning.

-------

When you woke up in the morning your head was throbbing. You could only guess how Sebastian must be feeling.  Thinking about the events of last night you groaned, knowing that Ominis would not be amused when he found out what you had done to his brother, and you were not in the mood for conflict. Maybe I’ll just stay in my room all day. As much as you loved that plan you knew you had to go to the Room of Requirement to take care of all your rescued creatures. Highwing always got grumpy when he didn’t get his dinner on time, and you really didn’t want to deal with a grumpy Hippogriff.

You spent the entire morning feeding, grooming, and playing with your creatures, really taking your time. After that you tended to your plants and quickly brewed a few more healing potions for good measure. You even managed to get Deek to bring you a couple of sandwiches from the kitchens, so you didn’t have to go to the great hall for lunch. Just when you thought about taking Highwing out for a ride you heard someone enter the Room of Requirement. Ominis.

“I knew I’d find you here.”

You tried reading his face to figure out how to approach this, but he remained expressionless.  While you were thinking about what to say he continued, “You don’t need to hide from me. I heard what you did to Marvolo last night. What was that about?”

“I can handle your brother.”

Ominis furrowed his brows and moved closer. “What happened?” he asked softly. He didn’t seem angry at all, he seemed concerned. You let out a shaky breath and gently placed a hand on his forearm, “It was nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“What did he say to you?” Ominis asked again, his milky gaze holding yours.

“He insulted you and I lost my temper. That’s what happened.”

For a long time, no one said anything. You would have done anything to know what was going on inside of Ominis’ head as you waited for his response. Was he angry at you? You thought about Marvolos disgusting grin and clenched your fists again. I’m not going to apologize for this, you thought grimly. Finally, Ominis spoke up.

“I think it’s best that we end this right now before you get hurt.”

It felt like someone had hit you in the face and you quicklypulled back your hand that was still resting on his arm. This reaction didn’t make any sense. It wasn’t even you who got hurt but Marvolo. If anything, this proved that you could look after yourself.

“Where is this coming from? I had a little disagreement with your brother and you want to break up?”

“They will come after you. It was stupid of me to think they would ever let me be happy,” he said, his voice shaking.

“Ominis, I’m not going anywhere,” you tried to reassure him, but he was starting to panic. His hands were shaking violently, and he kept cradling his head repeating the same thing over and over again. “They’re going to hurt you. And it will be my fault.”

Seeing him like this, you felt helpless. “I need you to calm down. Focus on my voice and breathe. Nothing is going to happen to me, alright? Your family won’t hurt me. It’s alright. Everything is alright,” you once again tried to talk him down, but it was no use. He seemed to be trapped inside of his own mind and you couldn’t get him out.

 “My thoughts are so loud. I can’t make them stop. It’s so loud. I need to make it stop,” he whispered, tears in his eyes. Now you were starting to panic as well. You had never seen him like this before and it scared you. What scared you even more was that you didn’t know how to help him.

“Stay here. I’ll go get Sebastian,” you said and hurried out of the room. You didn’t even bother searching for him in the Slytherin dorms and headed straight for the Undercroft. Sure enough, you found your friend, his nose buried in the old tome you had found in the Scriptorium.

“What’s wrong?” Sebastian asked when he saw your flushed face.

“Something is wrong with Ominis. I don’t know how to calm him down. He insists that his family is going to do something to me. He says he can’t make his thoughts stop,” you blurted out, stumbling over your words.

Sebastian nodded and closed his book. “I see. He gets like that sometimes. Bring me to him. I know what to do.”

-------

The sun was about to set when you made your way to the Slytherin dorms. A few minutes ago you had received an owl from Sebastian, that Ominis was better and wanted to talk to you. As you hurried down the corridors of Hogwarts you smiled to yourself. It was heartwarming the way these two took care of each other, despite being in a fight. The connection between them was more than friendship, it was brotherhood.

Ominis waited for you in front of the entrance to the common room. Before you could say anything he offered you his hand. “Care to accompany me for a walk?”  Even though you wanted nothing more than ask how he was and what had happened, you silently interlocked your fingers with his, giving him space. For a while you walked in silence, leaving the dungeons behind and passing the empty great hall. When Ominis lead you through the courtyard towards a little iron gate you finally understood where you were headed. The boathouse. Of course. On your way down the endless-seeming staircase Ominis finally started to speak.

“Sorry you had to see me like this.”

“There is no need to apologize. Do you want to tell me what happened?” you asked tentatively. The blonde took a shaky breath before answering and you squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Sometimes I get these thoughts. They are not real, but they feel so real that I lose myself in them. It’s like they are screaming at me. I don’t know how to explain it.”

“What are they saying?”

“Usually my worst fears. Things I don’t want to happen,” he whispered and lowered his gaze, collapsing into himself. You had seen him like this before – at Gaunt Manor when his father had raised his voice at the dinner table. Seeing what his family had done to him made your blood boil, but you put your anger aside and asked softly, “That sounds awful. How can I help you when something like that happens?”

“I don’t know.”

“We’ll figure it out.”

“I’m sorry I’m making it so difficult. I wish I was easier to love.”

“Nothing about you is hard to love. In fact, loving you feels as easy as breathing. You don’t need to be ashamed of your scars. I know what I signed up for, and I haven’t changed my mind.”

Ominis still didn’t look at you, his empty gaze fixated on the dark water of the lake.  “You haven’t seen me at my worst yet. Believe it or not I’m actually keeping it together pretty well at the moment. That can change. And when it does, things get ugly. You don’t want to be around when that happens.”

You could feel him trying to pull away but you didn’t let him. “Stop. I’m perfectly able of making my own decisions. Try to push me away as much as you like, but I’m not going anywhere.”

[countrymusiclover]

3 - The Reputation Of A Princess

Part 4

The Lion Knight and Dragon Princess

Tags- just send an ask to be added @cdragons @kmc1989 @starkleila @noirrose21-blog @lover-of-books-and-tea

Splashing my boots through some new rain puddles that remained on the ground I made my way through the busy market scenes of King's Landing. I had to admit that life where no one knows my true identity had made some things much easier. In the past if I wanted to go to the market there would be four or five guards with me which only drew attention.

“That’ll be 50 gold coins for the delivery. Shall it be the same as always?” The alcohol seller asked me before I handed him the gold coins from my pocket since I was the one who was supposed to pay for the delivery fees.

Nodding my head, handing him the scroll that listed what supplies we ordered for this next month. “Yes, the same address. It goes to The Tides Tavern.”

“Thank you for your business.” The seller took the scroll walking away.

Making my way back to the tavern I simply took a stroll through the rest of the market area. I went to take another step till a door of a home opened and two young children came running outside giggling about with one another. “You can’t have the last biscuit. It’s mine, I’m the oldest.”

“But I’m your little sister and father says be nice to girls.” The young girl with her hair in pigtails told her brother who held the biscuit away from him.

An idea came to my mind gaining their attention with my sweet royal voice. “My brother and I used to fight over the same things growing up.”

“You did?” The girl asked, seeing me nod my head yes to her question.

Her brother glared at her. “Yeah but it’s the last one so I should have it.”

“Can I see the biscuits?” I questioned the boy lowering myself onto a knee to be eye level with them not worrying about getting my dress dirty. He hands it to me before I tore it in half, handing one to each of them. “See that wasn’t so hard and now you each have a piece.”

Her brother shrugged his shoulders heading inside. “I guess so.”

“Thank you.” The young girl caught me by surprise when she hugged me before following her brother into the house, causing a smile to cross my face for that brief moment seeing those innocent kids of my former subjects. I truly missed my brother when I saw moments like that cross me in my current life now.

It was about midnight when Rhaegar and I were laying in his bed with him teaching me high Valyrian since I needed to know it. And just because he simply enjoyed reading books like our mother compared to fighting like most lords and kings. “The Conqueror and his sisters sailed with a great army.”

My brother began speaking High Valyrian to me for another lesson that night. “Se Blakuata Rasho dranot vilinio viartis.”

“And landed at the Blackwater Rush.” I recited the translation back to him and he smiled.

Rhaegar’s next word was to me. “Dranot. Dranot?”

“Dranot.” I bite my lip, eyeing my brother when I thought I knew the answer. “Dranot. At the end?”

“The mouth.” He admitted that I was wrong sadly.

Hitting my lop with my hands I growled under my breath. “Mouth! Ah, come on, Dranot. Dranot.”

“Dranot vilinio viartis.” Rhaegar flipped to another page in his book, pushing his hair from his face with his other hand.

Tapping my fingers on my thighs was harder on myself then he was, considering the language certainly wasn’t easy to learn. “Dranot. Dranot. Come on, Vae.”

“Perhaps that's enough for this evening.” Rhaegar went to shut the book but I stopped him shoving my hands over his so he couldn’t do so.

“No, no. I-I want to keep going. Please brother.”

He sighed, scanning his eyes over the next page. “Guesi misenakson Aegon undas.”

“Aegon... ordered that the trees should be......killed.”

“Felled. It is a related word.” Rhaegar corrected me softly with a weak smile.

Clutching my hands into fists in front of my face I growled throwing my head back against the pillows covering my eyes in embarrassment and frustration. “Errr! I should be better at this.”

“I don't expect you to learn High Valyrian in one evening, little sister.” Rhaegar sat his book on the bedside table gently touching my shoulder. “You’re being too hard on yourself. I’d suggest you get some sleep tiss late. We can go at this again in the morning.”

“Goodnight, Rhaegar.” Slowly sitting up I pushed hair out of my face climbing down from his head leaving his room for the evening. Strolling through the hallways with barely any lighting since the burning torches needed to be re-light in a few hours before the sun would come up. I noticed a guard coming towards me at a quick pace where I nervously asked him. “Gerold Hightower, is everything okay Ser Knight?”

He didn’t respond until he reached me by yanking me by my forearm and shoved me against the stonewall nearest to us. “I’ve waited far too long for you, princess.”

“Ugh! Ser Hightower - I haven’t done anything to you.” I winced under his grip.

His eyes darkened when he spoke his next words. “That’s the thing you’ve done nothing and now I can’t help myself.” He tore the slit of my dress pushing me up against the wall once he had undone his trousers close to raping me.

“No! No, no - Jaime. Get - Jaime!” I did what I could to push him off of me but he was much stronger than I was.

He had my body pressed harshly up against the wall with his fingernails drawing blood at he harshly held onto me. I didn’t think I would escape this yet someone yanked the guard off of me and my body collapsed down onto the cold floor where I landed on my knees. “J-Jaime!”

“Get your hands off me, Lannister!” Hightower fought against the lion till Jaime hit him over the head with his sword he drew out quickly causing Hightower to collapse unconscious at his boots.

Jaime shifted his gaze sharply over to my shaking form. “Vaella. Vaella, how badly are you hurt?” He bent down on a knee gently touching my lower back hoping not to frighten me.

“He - he tried to…” I stuttered out my words seeing some scarring on my arms where his nails had dug into me and drew some blood. My dress was torn up the top of my right thigh

He traced circles on my back for a minute, scooping me up in his arms like a bride carrying me through the castle until we reached my mothers chamber door with Jon Darry standing watch outside. “Princess! What has happened to her, Lannister?”

“It’s none of your concern. Let me through the door. The princess should be comforted by her mother.” Jaime commanded his higher Kingsguard officer.

Jon Darry scowled at the knight. “The queen is not to have any visitors. Escort the princess back to her chambers.”

“I won’t do that.” Jaime snapped back. “Ser Hightower attempted to assault the princess while we stood here and did nothing while hearing the queen suffer. You told me we couldn’t protect her mother from her husband so I’m doing whatever I can to protect the king's daughter.”

I lifted my head up weakly knowing he could get in trouble if he kept going down the path he was heading. “Jaime, don’t.”

“Don’t worry, princess Vaella.” He whispered green eyes briefly focused on me, shifting them coldly back to the knight. “Are you going to move aside and go inform the king what one of his sworn knights has done or not?”

Jon Darry pushed open the door allowing Jaime inside where he laid me down beside my mother who gave him a very weak smile. “My Queen, I need to tell you of something that just happened…” And so that night he told my mother what had occurred and Ser Gerold Hightower would soon face the king's justice.

“Such a small pack of wolves.” Hearing Jaime’s voice when I began walking past the brothel I halted. Sneaking up I peaked my head around the corner and out of sight but enough where I could see him ride up on a white horse to the head of the guard to face Ned Stark the new Hand of the King.

A man who stood beside the North lord warned him. “Stay back, Ser! This is the Hand of the King!”

“Was ... the Hand of the King. Now I'm not sure what he is ... Lord of somewhere very far away.” Jaime taunts when someone led his horse out of the way.

A man I recall to be named Littlefinger exited the brothel joining their conversation. “What's the meaning of this, Lannister?”

“Get back inside where it's safe. I'm looking for my brother. You remember my brother, don't you, Lord Stark? Blond hair, sharp tongue, short man.”

Ned Stark responds. “ I remember him well.”

“It seems he had some trouble on the road. You wouldn't know what happened to him, would you?”

Ned dryly replied. “He was taken at my command to answer for his crimes.”

Jaime draws his sword with his men behind him doing the same with their own weapons. They are stopped when Littlefinger steps up with a warning tone. “My Lords! I'll bring the City Watch!”

“Come, Stark. I'd rather you die sword in hand.” Jaime challenged the North lord.

The other lord spoke. “If you threaten My Lord again --“

“Threaten? As in, "I'm going to open your Lord from balls to brains and see what Starks are made of"?” Jaime shifted his sword tip pointing up from Ned’s boots to his head.

Ned reminded him. “You kill me, your brother's a dead man.”

“You're right. Take him alive! kill his men!” Jaime commanded his men, causing the Lannister men to kill the Stark men around them. The lord near Ned Stark moved forward drawing his own sword to strike the lion and they fought for a few secluded until Jaime pushed the man’s sword downward with his taking out a dagger from his belt and stabbed the man in the eye with the blade sticking out the side of his head.

Covering my mouth quickly with my hands I gasped rather sharply praying they didn’t hear me. “Jaime!” I had only seen kill once in my life and that man was none other than my father.

Ned drew his sword beginning to fight the lion and they were both fairly good opponents for the other. The Lannister guards did nothing but watched and I had to admit I couldn’t take my eyes from them either. Jaime ducked underneath Ned’s swing, stepping away from him still in a fighting stance ready for his next attack until Ned suddenly cried out when he was stabbed in the leg by a Lannister soldier behind him. “Ahh!”

Jaime punched the guard that had injured the lord which was the opposite of what he had wanted climbing back on his white horse. “My brother, Lord Stark ... we want him back.” Remaining there for a moment I spun around in the muddy ground racing back to the tavern before someone saw me.

[haru-sen]

Through the Gates of Horn and Oak

Caught the BG3 Brain Rot AND a deep love of the tieflings, hithero referred to as "my cabbages!" No, seriously, I've been screaming about them like the guy from ATLA.

Anyway, WIP preview, playing with some Tav X Zevlor, which will eventually be some Zevlor X Halsin, and maybe some poly dynamics. Look, I just want to poke sad old men with a stick and then feed them cheese.

This preview has light spoilers for early Act I side quests. I have not beat the game, I'm still in Act 3, so please be mindful of spoilers. This is spicy but not explicit.

“How do you do it?” you grumbled, perched on a crate and resting your forehead on the cool stone table, your eyes closing as you reviewed your day. “From harpies, to bugbear assassins, to evil druid-controlled child-tormenting serpents, how do you keep these people alive? I mean, honestly, Zevlor, I’ve only been at it for like a day, and I’m exhausted.”

Zevlor, the tiefling-wrangler in question, gave a dry humorless laugh. “You assumed it was easy?”

“No,” you muttered. “I’m just gobsmacked by the sheer variety of ways they get into trouble. You have my deepest respect and my most heartfelt sympathies.” You stayed facedown while you spoke, which might have detracted from the authenticity of the delivery, but alas.

About a meter away, Tilses snorted. “Have you met Mol yet?”

“Have I met Mol?” you laughed, and it might have been a sob. “Have I met the future legendary patron of the Thieves Guild, you mean? Have I met a force of chaos constrained in a tiny tief package? Have I counted my purse half a dozen times today? Where do I even start?”

Zevlor groaned, clearly not interested in delving into that subject.

Tilses laughed. “You should have seen the time she-”

“Tilses, it’s getting late: you don’t have to stay,” Zevlor said.

“But-”

“Tilses, it’s getting late: you’re dismissed.”

You didn’t need to use your illithid powers to read the subtext in the room. Small talk aside, Tilses didn’t want to leave Zevlor alone with an outsider. Zevlor, however, didn’t seem worried. It could be that he thought you were trustworthy, but it was more likely that he knew that it didn’t matter if she was here. If you decided to turn on him, her presence wouldn’t make a bit of difference.

You could picture his expression easily, that no-nonsense frown, accentuated by the severity of his hellfire eyes and sharp ridged bones. He wasn’t exactly scary, but he had a quiet dignified gravitas that you and Tilses lacked; the kind of man was used to being in charge. Still, Tilses wouldn’t argue, not with you here.

“Understood, sir.”

Military discipline was a hard habit to shake, or so you heard. You smiled as you as her steps faded in the distance and the stone door grinding open and shut. And then there were two.

“I don’t blame you for Mol,” you said. “Obviously, the circumstances are shaping that one, and it would take more resources than you, me, or the entire Grove has to alter her trajectory.”

Zevlor sighed. “...I don’t think I’m capable of discussing Mol’s future right now.” There came a soft grunt and you didn’t have to open your eyes to know that the tiefling was sitting on the table across from you, just a few handspans away. If you lifted your head, he would probably move away, so you stayed there, the slight dissonance of his aura making your ears ring. You didn’t mind though. Things that might have bothered you a week ago couldn’t really match up to a godsdamned mindflayer tadpole swimming through your brain.

Some tieflings possessed a discomforting presence, akin to knowing you were being stalked by an apex predator, or that feeling of something alien crawling across your skin, or that screaming gut instinct that warned you when truly dark magics were abound. It was an involuntary inheritance, a side effect of being part devil, or at least having their human bloodlines tainted by a Hellish pact. But you knew better than most that biology didn’t override character.

Zevlor was a striking model of an Asmodeus tiefling: deep red skin, sharp features, and a pair of thick black horns twisting out of his skull. From what you heard, that strain got well and truly screwed over by their progenitor devil lord’s plotting.

“Would you like something to drink?” A cork popped and there was the clink of metal cups sitting on the table.

“Is it poison?” you asked. “Because I’ve got some lovely wyvern poison of my own. No need to dip into your personal stores.”

“That would be a poor repayment for all the help you’ve given,” Zevlor said, his tone mild.

You didn’t think he was offended. Hard to say. He was difficult to read, unless you decided to use your illithid powers, but then- People didn’t like it when you did that. You didn’t always like it when you did that.

He poured the drinks, and you slowly raised your head, lured out by your own dry mouth.

Zevlor was standing now, he gestured to the uncorked bottle, which sat beside the cups in front of you, all of it available for your inspection.

“Ashaba Dusk?” you asked, sniffing the common wine.

“It’s not so bad,” he said.

It figured that he liked red wines. You wondered if he smoked a pipe too. “You seem like the type to prefer a Gulthmeran Reserve.” It was a dryer red, complex with stronger mineral taste. Something suited for the palate of a stoic older man.

Zevlor’s lips twitched. “Is that so?”

“Am I wrong?”

“I wouldn’t say “no” to a bottle. But finding one out here might prove difficult,” he said as you chose your cup, pretty certain that none of it was poisoned. After all, they still needed your help dealing with the goblins, defanging Kagha, and rescuing the Archdruid. Logic made rationalization easy, even though you had no logical reason to be here alone with this man.

The wine wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either. You drank it though. Today had been long, and you weren't going to turn your nose up at his hospitality.

The two of you finished your cups and sat in an almost comfortable silence. Your shoulders lowered incrementally and you basked in his calm company. You were on your second round of refills before he spoke again. “Was there something you wished to discuss?” he asked, fixing that burning stare on you.

Your stomach flip-flopped, but you just raised your cup and took a drink, buying yourself a few seconds to compose your words. “Just enjoying the ambiance.”

His brow furrowed, and he looked around the cave, clearly trying to figure out what you were referring to. The air in the chamber was cool, there were a couple shelves lined with books, and the candlelight was warm and golden. There were no fleshpits, no bloodstains, and nothing was trying to kill you. Best of all, you could not hear Shadowheart and Lae’zel bickering. To be fair, Lae’zel sniped at everyone, but Shadowheart got so damn shrill about it.

“Look, my...friends are nice and all, but sometimes they’re a bit much,” you said. “I’m taking a break from being mediator.”

“Ah,” he said. He rested his chin in his hand, thoughtfully. “I can lend you the chamber. Would you like some privacy?”

You winced. “No, no, I’m enjoying the company too.”

“I see,” he said, brow furrowing momentarily. He refilled your cup, sitting on the edge of the table farthest from you.

You studied the map of Elturel on the desk, while sipping your unpoisoned wine. And then a thought occurred to you much too late. “Oh gods, I’m intruding, aren’t I?” you groaned. “Look, don’t feel obligated. I’ve found a ton of great hiding spots in the Grove. I can take a dip in the sacred pool. There are some very private corners in the library. Hell, I can even go camp out with Mol.”

“...Don’t do that,” Zevlor grimaced.

“You’re right. She absolutely doesn’t need access to wyvern poison. I’ll go sit with Dammon. Aside from the hammering and the smithing, he’s pretty quiet.”

You’re not intruding,” Zevlor said, forcefully. “My hosting skills are simply rusty. I...welcome the chance to practice.”

“Oh,” you said, a smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. It wasn’t a believable reason in the least, but it did seem that he wasn’t trying to shoo you out. At least, you felt more confident that you were not unwelcome.

Zevlor studied your face. “How do you find Dammon’s company?”

“He’s a good kid and so cheerful in the face of everything that’s happened. I’m impressed by his attitude and his skills,” you said. “He’s helping me keep my tiefling in good shape.” Karlach was a certified badass, but she still needed extra special care. Gods, now that you thought about it, tieflings were like exotic fish, it was a real struggle to keep them alive.

Zevlor nodded. “We’re lucky to have him.” He set the empty bottle down and looked over his shoulder at the worn down storage crates, clearly considering the state of his supplies. He was a lean man, and while the kids were small, it was clear that the adults weren’t letting them go hungry. He likely didn’t have a lot to spare.

“Oh! I’ve got a bottle of Ithbank in my pack – the good kind.” You quickly dug into your bag and pulled it out. You were considering trying to bribe Asterion with it, but honestly, he would probably just turn his nose up at the unimpressive offer. You rummaged around your supply pack and found some cheese wedges, ham, a loaf of sourdough bread, and the treasure you scored while exploring. Looking around furtively, you pulled a small ripe sunmelon out and winked. “I know everyone is eating apples, but I’m sick of things trying to poison me-”

“You’ve mentioned poison very frequently today. How often does this happen to you?” Zevlor asked, looking concerned.

“Well, just this week-” You tried to think back. “The bandits, the goblins, some traps, the swamp apples, Nettie-”

“The healer?” Zevlor sounded alarmed.

“Yeah, because of the whole parasite infection thing,” you muttered, the wine loosening your tongue. Only a select few knew that you were carrying mindflayer tadpoles, and he was one of them since you had to explain to him why you were able to just walk into the Absolute camp without raising the alarm. “Look, the point is, I’m put off apples for awhile.” You pulled out a clean food knife – not a dagger, people applied all sorts of deadly coatings to their weapons – and eyed the cheese.

Zevlor rose and brought over clean plates and more cutlery. There was an economy to his motions, a careful precision to everything, no wasted movement. No tells either. This man tried to keep his cards very close to his chest.

It was very different from the first time you met, when he was shouting orders and coming down from the post-battle fury and the loss of one of his charges. Rage uncoiled all those carefully suppressed feelings and destroyed self control: you understood that feeling all too well. The contrast was interesting, you liked watching him.

You made a nice little plate cubes of cheese and ham, slices of bread, and cut your half of the melon into long wedges. Zevlor made a neat sandwich and chopped his melon into bite-sized chunks. This time you poured the Ithbank while Zevlor watched.

He took a sip. “This is nice. Thank you,” he said quietly.

“It really is,” you smiled, biting into the melon and getting some down your chin. The flavor was honey sweet, the flesh luscious and crisp under your teeth. You happily licked your fingers, slurping down the juice. Fuck, these were so much better than apples, and absolutely worth fighting a bunch of bandits for.

When you looked up, Zevlor was staring down at the table.

“I’m being messy, aren't I?” you muttered, wiping your mouth off. The heady combination of too much wine, sweet melon, and the company was making you sloppy. “Sorry.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” Zevlor coughed and poured himself some more wine, averting his eyes. He carefully bit into his melon cubes. His tongue flicked out and he licked his lips, closing his eyes. “That is delicious,” he murmured, his voice a low rumble, his tail swishing behind him.

Satisfied that he was enjoying his fruit, you devoured your slices too quickly, eating them down to the rind. When you looked up, Zevlor was only half finished, clearly taking his time and really savoring the experience.

“These are better than apples,” he said, glancing down at your empty plate. He speared a chunk of melon and extended his fork. “I don’t know if I can finish all this though.”

A damned lie if you ever heard one, and between Wyll and Asterion, you heard a lot of creative truths. You took a swig of wine and met that burning gaze, your breath catching. “I’ll take a bite,” you said. “But you clearly aren’t eating enough. You really should take better care of yourself, Zevlor.”

You leaned forward, delicately took the melon between your teeth, and pulled it off the tines. You gave the utensil a light parting bite, never looking away from Zevlor’s face.

He swallowed audibly, but his hand did not shake and he did not draw back. He just watched you with narrowed eyes, his jaw clenched, those sharp nails digging into his palms, his tail snapping from side to side. That tension was familiar. You remembered a similar strained look back when he got into a confrontation with that asshole mercenary. Maybe you were pushing him too far.

“Have I offended you?” you asked a little sheepishly. You did just take his food from him while insinuating that he was bad at taking care of himself.

“No,” he said gruffly, his voice an octave lower. “But are you going to claim that you don’t know what you’re doing?”

You smiled, lowering your eyes in amusement. “I’m just enjoying the ambiance.”

Zevlor gave a low exhalation, those orange eyes burning intently as he regarded you. “The situation is difficult enough,” he said, his voice harsh. “Hells, teasing an old man is cruel.”

You blinked. “I’ve seen you fight, Zevlor. I’d hardly call you old.” You met his gaze. “And teasing is only cruel if one doesn’t intend to follow through.” You stood, the wine giving you a cocksure recklessness that you would not possess sober. You leaned over the table, nearly nose to nose with him, baring your teeth in a grin. “I’ll deal with Kagha tomorrow. We’ll figure out the goblins after that. And then, if you’re still interested, let’s do something about it.”

Zevlor stiffened, his eyes widening, his lips parting in shock.

You took a swig of the Ithbank, and slammed it down next to him, lifting one of those calloused hands to your lips. You brushed your mouth against the inside of his wrist and then caught his index finger between your teeth. You sucked it down to the knuckle, tasting the blended salt and sulfur of his skin and the sweet stickiness of the melon. The heat of the digit made you want more than this, but you had to be careful with those sharp nails.

Zevlor’s nostrils flared, those brimstone eyes burning as he gritted his teeth, your name a hoarse curse in his mouth.

“And if you’re not interested,” you said, lowering his hand gently. “That’s fine too. It’s entirely up to you. We can just blame the wine.”

And with that, you turned on your heel and left, before you did something really stupid. It didn’t matter though, the fire was already in your veins and the taste of him lingered on your tongue.

Fic posted on AO3 now.

[megmischief]

Seb x Reader - Moonlight Kiss Part 3 (AFAB reader)

E RATED. MDNI. 🔞

Trigger warning: Sexual content and mentions of body dysmorphia.

___________________________________________

As you feel the hard length press against you, you can't help but feel a heat begin to burn within. You press yourself up against Sebastian's member to be greeted with a faint whimper. It was clear he was trying to hide it. After fidgeting about for a while, pretending to accidentally brush against your man, he decides he can't take it any longer.

"Hey..." He whispers into your ear, his voice a little wobbly. "Im just gonna pop to the toilet..."

You smirk to yourself. You knew what he was going to do, but you weren't going to let him. "Owhhh...but I'm comfy." You whine.

Sebastian starts to get fidgety himself. "Y-Yeah... I know... and so am I. But we have a problem." You turn around to see Sebastian pointing at his crotch.

You giggle. "Yeah, I know. I've known the whole time."

Sebastian turns as red as one of the pomegranates from your orchard. "Look... I know I was messing with you earlier...but truthfully I dont know if I'm ready..." He looks down, almost as if he were ashamed.

"Sebastian. We literally got into this relationship like... two hours ago. I'm not ever going to rush you into anything. Especially something you aren't comfortable with. We have the rest of our lives to warm up to doing stuff like that anyway." You kiss his cheek and rub his head. Sebastian's timid side was rather adorable.

"Thank you...and I know. I just...haven't done it before. Like...all the way. Yeah, I've messed around with people... but ... never all the way." Sebastian begins to fiddle with his frog plush you were previously cuddling.

"Sebastian...to be honest. I haven't even done that. So you have nothing to worry about at all." Your blush now matching you timid boyfriend's.

Sebastian looks up and into your eyes. "Are you serious? Not that I think that you'd sleep around... not that there's anything wrong with that either...but...I was sure someone as gorgeous as you would have..."

You giggle at his comment and flick his arm. "Have you know, young Seb, just because I am a year older than you, I am holding out for the right person. I just...am very self-conscious and get bad dysmorphia so showing my body is...kind of a big thing for me..." As you confess to Seb, you feel your eyes become watery. It wasn't an easy subject to talk about, but knowing that Seb fought his own battles, you didn't mind sharing your own with him.

Sebastian pulls you into a gentle kiss, cupping your cheek. "Thank you for telling me...and...hopefully one day you will feel good enough in your own skin tand feel exactly the way I see you... You are the most beautiful person I've seen in my life." Sebastian pulls you into his lap, embracing you as tightly as he could without hurting you.

Nuzzling into his neck, you whisper back to him. "It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one in their twenties to have never done anything." You let out a weak chuckle and straddle your boyfriends lap to reach a more comfortable position.

Sebastian lets out a small grunt as you brush past his member. "Y-Yeah...me too, actually..." Sebastian quickly picks you up to switch your positions.

You felt tiny underneath the raven-haired boy's body. Although he wasn't the most tall guy going, you weren't exactly tall either.

"So...tell me the parts of your body you don't like." Seb gently smiles at you as you look up at him.

Avoiding eye contact at all costs, you mumble back to him. "My legs...and my stomach..."

Sebastian begins to move down the bed, holding his eye contact with you the whole time. He begins to kiss gently from the bottom of your leg, up to your thigh. As his does this, you can't help but watch, feeling the heat within grow further. "S-Sebby...what're doing...?"

"I want you to realise how beautiful you really are. I love these parts of you. I love all the parts of you. Ummm...I-... Can...I go further...?"

Your eyes widen, realising what he meant. You knod, allowing him the consent to go further than you had both ever gone.

Sebastian slowly ran his hands under the hoodie you wore, feeling your soft skin beneath. You shudder at his touch. He leans down further to begin kissing at your hips and lower stomach. You couldn't contain yourself any longer as you let out a soft moan. Realising what had just happened, you slap your hand to your mouth with a loud clap.

Sebastian laughs. "You don't have to do that. It's really cute. Plus, the room is soundproofed for band practice, so no one will hear unless they're pressed against the door." Gazing at you with complete adoration, Seb pulls your hand away from your mouth. "Um...I'm sorry if I don't exactly end up being any good at this." He begins scratching the back of his head. A nevous trait you soon realised not long after meeting him.

"Seb, it's not like I'm going to know what's good or what's not." You laugh back at him. "Plus, I probably won't be any good myself."

"Nonsense..." Seb mumbles as his lips crash into yours.

Your hands begin to wonder around Sebastian's body, yanking off his shirt. You wanted to feel every inch of his skin, building up a picture in your mind that only you could see.

As your kiss grew rougher and more lustful, you began to feel Sebastian grinding against you. Sebastian lets out a huff against your neck, and you can't help but meet his hips.

Your hands find their way up into Seb's soft hair. You can't help but to slightly pull as you feel yourself become wild with desperation.

Sebastian moves on, kissing down to your neck. He lingers there for a while, nibbling and kissing, leaving marks. He breaks away from the kiss to slowly pull off the hoodie you had borrowed.

Looking up at him, you couldn't help but feel completely exposed as your chest lay bare in front of him.

Sebastian reached down, gently tracing every curve. "You are breathtaking..."

You lean back up, pulling him back into a long and rough kiss. Sebastian moans into the kiss, holding the back of your neck. He begins moving down once more, this time further than your neck. Placing a hand on one side of your chest, he begins placing soft kisses on the other. You feel him begin to pay attention to your nipple, sucking and nibbling between kisses.

"Se-...bastian..." Whimpering you hold onto his hair again with one hand, the sheets with the other.

Sebastian continues his torment, kissing down to your navel, leaving more marks as he goes. Once he gets to your hips, you lift them up, allowing him to pull off the borrowed boxers. You could feel yourself already ready to receive Sebastian, but still, he continued. Placing light kisses against your folds, you couldn't help but whimper.

"Can I?" Sebastian asks you, softly.

You nod back in response.

Sebastian moves your legs further apart and situates himself between them. He begins to plant more kisses until he pushes his tongue up to your clit. You arch your back as you feel a sudden surge of electricity within. Seeing your reaction, Sebastian continues, flicking his tongue up and down.

"Sebas-tian...S'too...good..." You whimper, pulling onto his hair tighter.

Continuing to lick and suck at your clit, he slowly pushes a finger into you. You see him peer over at you, checking up on you to ensure you were comfortable with everything he was doing. You could feel the heat burn within you as it grew more and more intense.

Gradually, Sebastian begins to move his finger in and out of you, hitting all the right spots. You couldn't help yourself but moan. Seb adds another finger, arching them upwards as he moves them faster and faster. You begin to feel your walls come crashing down around you as the electricity spreads throughout your body.

"Sebastian...!" You cry, wrapping your legs around his shoulders as you begin to shake with ecstasy.

Sebastian ensures to continue as you ride out your orgasm. After finishing, he lifts your legs off of his shoulders and makes his way back up to pull you into a delicate kiss. "Would you...rather be on top or have me continue...?"

"On top, please..." You whisper into the kiss.

Sebastian lays down in the spot you once were. Before climbing on top, you remove his remaining boxers. You take a moment to take in the shape of your boyfriends body. He was perfect. You reach over to his length and begin to move your hand up and down, causing small gasps to escape from Seb's mouth.

"I have a condom in that drawer..." Seb points over to his computer desk.

You pause, looking up at him. "I'm on birth control...I...want to feel you...so if it's okay with you..."

Sebastian nods, understandingly. He felt the same way. He wanted to feel as close to you as he could. Sebastian moves up the bed, leaning against the headboard. You straddle him, lining him up with your entrance. Sebastian holds onto your hips as you slowly lower yourself onto his member. You whimper as you feel him pushing against every one of your walls.

"Oh my god..." Sebastian moans as his head arches back. "You feel so good..."

You can't help but feel your body weaken from both pleasure and pain. Leaning into Seb, your chests pressed together, you wrap your arms around him tightly. Sebastian holds you tightly as he begins to slowly move in and out.

You both pant into each other's necks, holding each other tightly. Sebastian begins to fasten his pace as you could feel the familiar surge of electricity begin to resurface.

Picking you back up and switching your position again, Sebastian wraps your legs around his waist. "I don't think it's going to take me much longer..." he whispers into your ear.

"It's...okay...me neither..." You manage to whimper back.

As Sebastian's pace quickens and his thrusts become sloppier, you feel his member begin twitching from within you. You couldn't help but tighten your walls as he hit your sweet spot.

"Seb, I'm gonna..." You hold him tightly as your orgasm crashes waves over your body once more.

Feeling you tighten leads Sebastian to speed up further. "Me too..." He mumbles. As his pace quickens, you begin to feel yourself become fuller. Your insides warm. Sebastian moans your name loudly as he cums inside of you.

"I'm sorry I wasn't quick enough to-" He begins panicking.

You lazily giggle, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "It's fine. I promise." All you felt was an intense love for this man. It had been three years since you had met, and you had been pining for at least two of them.

Kissing your cheek, Sebastian reaches over to grab some tissues from his computer desk and begins to clean you up. He then cleans himself up and climbs back into bed. You both embrace each other, wanting to feel each other's warmth within the cold room.

"Thank you for being so gentle..." You smile up at him.

"Thank you too..." He chuckles, pulling the blankets over you both.

You were both absolutely exhausted, and it didn't take long for you to fall asleep in each other's arms. Sebastian held onto you as though you were the most precious thing in the world. You finally felt as though you had found the one.

[dandyduel]

DAN HOW DID YOU GET THROUGH YEAR 11 😭😭🤨

I’ve had 6 days so far and I think I’m going to go insane it’s so difficult and horrible I have never hated school more

HELLO LOVELY!!!!! -

First of all, I just want to begin by saying that you're doing great. Not everyone pursues the HSC and that in itself is something to be proud of, do not discount your achievements thus far.

Secondly, the leap from junior school to senior school in Australia (at least in the experience of myself and those around me) is nothing to be scoffed at. As students and learners it is incredibly easy to become trapped in our previous habits of complacence (something that often plagues me personally in the form of extreme procrastination and a lack of study schedule) as a lack of consequence leads us by the hand and gives us a false sense of security that is only ripped away when we are faced with a change of routine. In this sense, Year 11 & 12 is an earthquake manifest. They shake the structures that previously housed your education until they come tumbling down upon you - and then you must rebuild.

However, In my opinion this is not to be perceived as a loss but a moment of great opportunity. After losing this sense of stability you must apply your newfound knowledge of what may happen in order to strengthen your habits.

Read.

Reading is the single most important practice in strengthening your vocabulary and writing (and even if you take mostly science subjects, nothing will take you further in life than a high level of literacy). Read widely every day. Articles, Novels, Essays - whatever you like. Study by reading. It doesn't have to be hard, throughout my senior years of high school I probably did a total of 6 practice papers (though I do not promote this course of action) and ended up doing (more than) fine on all my exams and assignments because instead I would spend my time reading up on the topics that had been discussed in class (I highly recommend when you inevitably do Shakespeare, read some of the criticisms by Harold Bloom). Listen to podcasts before your exam. Pre-Finals I would sunbathe on my back porch while listening to relevant podcasts on Spotify, by god it helps.

Spend Time away from your work.

Play cards at lunch, talk about menial things during lulls in class-time, go to parties in fields. Honestly, the best thing about the senior years is spending time with your peers- don't loose that because you are too worried about your rankings. This certificate is a cruel beast that will bite and scratch at you if you let it. Do not let it. Get a good amount of rest, you are a teenager so that means that it is your god given right to nap like nothing else.

And above all, don't stress. I know it is easier said than done (many a time I was found crying over maths on my kitchen floor) but it is seriously a blip in your life. You will adapt, you will learn, and you will do well. This will set you up if you want to pursue tertiary education, chiefly because it is a learning experience. If you have never felt crippled over an essay before entering university it will cripple you later. let it happen now and then move on.

don't sweat the small stuff, I believe in you, have fun. <3

[kiindr]

Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts, self hate, existential crisis.

Why should I care about my life? Everybody telling me, that I'm important, that my feelings matter, that I'm smart, handsome, strong etc, but my life still sucks. From my childhood I was surrounded by books and cartoons with stories where strong should help those who are weak, where kindness and honesty were rewarded and violence wasn't an answer. I was raised by these stories and to this day I think that this is right. But I feel like I'm wrong. People used my honesty and kindness against me and speaking against violence now illegal in my country as well as helping those who in need of help.

Okay, I can't control the world around me at the scale of global events, but I can control my own life, right? WRONG

"Don't worry, son, later in life you'll have a lot of opportunities to make friends" Nope. I went to a lot of places, events and people that I've found there disappeared as quickly as I found them.

"Don't worry, my friend, you're an interesting person and conversations with you are really deep" Nope. Every conversation is a coin flip, where it decides who will be speaking and who will be listening without any interest.

"Don't worry, my love, you're a strong person and thing will be better" Kinda. Some things became better, some things just became less relevant. But every winter I'm still thinking about ending all of this. I still want to end my existence, because I still can't see purpose of this hard life.

And you know what the worst part of it? I'm still standing and I know that I will continue to fight. I will live. Just because my life doesn't matter to me, it doesn't mean that my life doesn't matter to others.

But it's hard. It's so painful. Sometimes I beg death to come for me. I want to see a God or any other supernatural omnipotent being, that will grab my hand and tell me that's it's all over and I've deserved some rest. But I fear that this is not what will happen.

It sounds like you're disappointed and very, very exhausted. I can only imagine the kind of pain you're in. It must be really hard to be you right now.

The fact that you still persevere and carry on although admirable, is no easy feat. Nobody can know the immense amount of courage and effort that must go into it on your part. I just want you to know that I'm proud of you for not giving up. That even though life seems meaningless to you right now, you're still sticking around.

I know that all of the nice things that people have said to you seem far from the truth and unreliable right now, so I'm not gonna tell you any of that. But what I will gently put on the table for you is this:

You define what's meaningful for you and that definition is subject to change. There is no right or wrong answer to this. And it can take however long for you to find it but it is possible for you to find it.

Pick it up when you're ready.

Maybe you already know this. Maybe someone has already said this to you. In that case, feel free to ignore it, or let it reinforce all of that previous information. Whatever feels right to you.

I'm sure there's a lot going on in your life that has lead to this point where you feel so helpless and dejected. Please feel free to use the askbox again if you need to talk about any of that. This blog and the kind people who read it are all rooting for you. We all hope that you're able to regain meaning and joy in your life <3

[imnotgoinghome]

Alive or Just Breathing?

Yes, it’s me. I’m back. So, hope y’all enjoyed your break from me because this series was really hard for me to write and took a while sooo. Chapter 2 will be coming out soon but no guaranteed day yet.

Chapter 1:

I Can’t Do This Anymore

————————————————————————-

Summary:

Most days you were okay with Peter leaving, but it could only happen so many times before you finally broke….

Warning:

Yelling, Crying, Sad

————————————————————————-

Peter Parker didn’t have an easy job. He didn’t have an easy life. Being Spider-Man wasn’t exactly a walk in the park. Sure, it had its perks, but it also had a downside.

Most days it didn’t bother you. Peter normally had better things to do. Peter constantly had to ditch you for some bad guy. Someone who robbed a bank or sold something illegal. And normally, it didn’t bother you. You were use to it. Normally Peter would give an excuse for leaving and disappear for several hours.

Most days you were fine. But, was this really what you wanted? A life of wondering if Peter would make it to your date. A life of feeling like a nobody. A life of being alone.

Sure, Peter was there. And when he was, he was happy. He never let you see that he was hurting. He never let you see that he was concerned about the crime of New York. He never talked to you. Which is what bothered you the most.

You understood the responsibility. You understood that he had to be there. That the people of New York City were counting on Spider-Man to be there to save their lives. To keep them safe. You understood. But what you didn’t understand was why Peter wouldn’t let you be there to save him.

No one cared about who was behind the mask. No one cared about the toll this job took on the people subjective to it. All they cared about was Spider-Man. All the wanted was him to be there.

You normally questioned your relationship. You always did. You had your doubts. Everyone does. No one was safe from the doubt that rested in the back of their mind. And no one could save them from it. Because it wasn’t like an other villain. It was stronger. It was there to make you worry. To reak havoc in the lives of those who let it consume them. And after 3 months of fighting the doubt, you were ready to give into it.

You had had it with the excuses. You didn’t want to put up with it anymore. You wanted answers, and you wanted them now. Nothing was more important to you then your and Peters relationship, and if he was going to continue to try to destroy, you were going to find out why.

You made a deal with yourself. If Peter couldn’t give you an answer to why he was gone. If he didn’t care about the effect it had on you, you agreed that you were done. You had always thought the two of you would last forever. But maybe the word forever was meant for memories, not people.

After hours of waiting, you finally heard a knock on your window. The same knock you heard every night. Peter’s knock.

Peter wore a smile, something he did quite often, even if he didn’t mean it.

You slowly got off your bed, placing your phone on your nightstand before walking over to your window. You looked at him sadly, opening your window as you backed up quietly.

“Hey,” Peter said, looking at your face with hesitation as your eyes slowly traced over the floor. “Is something wrong? You seem off” he asked as he stepped closer to your still figure. He quickly removed his mask before returning his attention back to you.

“Peter…” you mumbled softly as your eyes met his. He stared at you for a moment, taking in your features as you stilled in front of you.“We need to talk.”

“Y/N, is everything okay? Your scaring me” He replied as he let his mask fall to the floor. You took a deep breath, desperately trying to prepare yourself for the conversation you were about to have.

“Peter… I think,” you closed your eyes, “I think we need to— to break up”

“What?” He asked quietly.

“I think we need to break up” you repeated. You impatiently waited for him to say something, and when he didn’t, you continued.

“Peter, I don’t know if you can remember the last time we went on a date,”

“May 22nd” he quickly interrupted.

“Or the last time we had a day of just us”

“A couple weeks ago”

“Or the last time we saw each other”

“Few days ago…” this time, you didn’t continue, only looking at him with a concerned expression.

“Y/n, I don’t think I understand” Peter stated hesitantly.

“Peter, do you not hear yourself?” You asked, a little mad that he missed your point. Of course you remembered your last date, the last day you had to yourselves, the last time you had seen each other. But that wasn’t the point.

“We haven’t been on a date in two months. We haven’t had a day to yourselves in three weeks, we haven’t even seen each other an six days!” You explained, your voice breaking as you tried to continue. “Do you know why?” You asked the confused boy standing in front of you.

“Why” he finally questioned.

“Because I tried, you didn’t. Because I cried, you didn’t. Because you left, I didn’t.” You stated. Your felt your angry raising. You felt the tears in your eyes become harder to keep from falling.

“What are you talking about? I have responsibility Y/n. I can’t just drop everything because you miss me. I can’t let someone die because I was with you! I can’t believe you think that I don’t try. Because I do try!” He attempted to defend himself. “Your just being sensitive” he said, rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms.

Oh , that was it.

“IM BEIGN SENSITIVE???” Your voice raised. You were mad, and Peter knew it. He knew he shouldn’t r have said that. He knew, but it was to late. If you had been holding back, Peter could only hope you wouldn’t kill him.

“Peter, I cannot BEGIN to tell you how many times you’ve left me. How many plans have been cancelled because you have to leave. Because you have bigger problems to worry about. And I understand that you have responsibilities as a super hero, but did you ever stop to think about how it makes me feel? Do you ever think about how I feel?” It’s not easy being the girlfriend of a super hero, and the fact that you don’t ever think about me before you just run off hurts. I get that you can’t stay. I understand you have to go. But when you leave you don’t even bother to come back and talk to me after your done. You don’t even tell me when you finish or when your safe. You just let me assume because apparently you have better things to do. You never talk to me anymore. You never make time for me Peter! It hurts, ok! So maybe I am sensitive, maybe I am overreacting. But you don’t get to tell me my feelings. That’s not for you to decide” You told him, tears beginning to run down both your faces. You quickly turned around, quickly walking to sit on your bed, not wanting to make eye contact with your boyfriend.

Peter looked at the floor, no longer able to look at you. He felt like his body had been taken away from him. Like he wasn’t really in this situation. But, sadly, here he was. Tears on his face, hoping, praying that things would work out. That he could make things right.

“Sometimes I wish my life was a book. So that I could take a peak at the last few pages. So I could know if things work out. So I can know if we’re ok” you slowly said, toying with your fingers as tears ran down your cheeks.

Peter looked at you with sad eyes, tear stained cheeks, and nothing but excuses. He knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get out of this one. He knew what was going to happen. But more importantly, Peter knew you. He knew that when you were confused about something, you were gonna find an answer. He just hoped you find the answer you both wanted.

“You know Peter, I always thought we were gonna be forever,” at that Peter sat down on your bed beside you, “but I’m starting to think that maybe the word forever isn’t meant for people” you looked at him, desperately searching for a reaction. Anything.

Peter tried to find words. He tried to find something to say. All he could think of do was say sorry. But he knew that wasn’t good enough.

“It’s sad when someone can walk right past you and pretend that you were never a big part of their life. And right now, I can’t help but feel like a stranger,” Peter finally admitted. “You were right, you know? No one has the right to tell you how to feel. And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself. But this whole time, my biggest fear has always been that one day you’ll walk about see me the way I see myself,” he told you, looking at your face as he desperately tried to fix the relationship he ruined. “I’ve always feared that you’d walk up one day and it would all be over. Because the saddest part in life is saying goodbye to someone you wish to spend your life with. And for me, that’s you. I never planned for this to happen. It was never supposed to come to this” He explained to you.

“What was supposed to happen? You left me, Peter. You practically just ignored me. You pushed me so far away it took everything I had to come back” You finally told him.

“I know, and I’m sorry for that. I just got so busy that became all I did. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you. I got busy, I just wanted a break, and I guess I took it alone when I could’ve been with you. I know I made mistakes, and I know that they hurt you. But just please, please give me a second chance” he tried. Peter knew that he wasn’t getting out of this. So he made his only play. He just had to pray it was enough.

“Peter… how do I know this won’t happen again? How do I know I can always count on you if your never there? How do I know you’ll make it back? How I know you won’t die?” You brought your knees to your chest. You knew what you said wasn’t what he was expecting. But it was genuine concerns you had. You had to know if he could give you an answer.

“I — I don’t know…” he admitted. “I can’t guarantee it won’t happen again. I can’t tell you it’s gonna be okay because I don’t know if it will be.”

“Then, I don’t know I can do this Peter. I don’t want to have to worry all the time. I don’t wanna have to be alone all the time. I don’t wanna have to wonder if your okay. Because I do. I want you to come home. I want you to be okay. I need you to be okay. Because I — I don’t know what I would do without you…” you told him as you took sudden interest in the floor.

Peter Parker was at a lose for words. He didn’t know what to do or say. He wasn’t sure if you even knew what effect your words had on him. Peter continued to think. He continued to try to think of what he could do, until he heard a small “I love you…” escape from your quivering lips. He whipped his head to look at you. Had you meant it?

“I love you too” he slowly replied. You didn’t say anything, causing Peter to take that as a hit that you were done talking. You had said all you want to say, all you could do was hope he understood.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Blue's Rose - Chapter 29 - Part 3

*Warning Adult Content*

Boys Will Be Blue

Blue Cavanaugh & Kulap 'Kool' Somboon

"Are you hungry, yet?" but again, Kool shook his head no, making Blue frown.

Not acceptable.

"Something," Blue responded, turning around and heading back the way they had come.

"You have to eat something," he insisted.

Kool was stubborn, Blue had learned that the last few weeks and Blue was laid back.

What Kool didn't know or maybe remember from long ago was that Blue could be a tenacious pain in the ass himself if he wanted and right now, he wanted.

Like a child pouting, Kool slumped along beside Blue not saying a word, his hands in his pockets.

That was fine with Blue, too.

Kool could pout all he wanted as long as he had spoon in his hand, some rice and soup in his bowl and shoveled food into his mouth when Blue said eat.

They arrived at a little outdoor café and sat down at the only open table.

Kool didn't say a word but Blue didn't need him to.

He knew what Kool liked to eat and he could point at the menu just like every other tourist.

Thankfully though, the waitress spoke enough English and Blue enough Thai that they communicated perfectly with their words, gestures and smiles.

"You do know you ordered goat brains, right?" Kool asked Blue as the waitress walked away.

Blue whipped his head to look back at Kool, his mouth gaping open in shock.

Kool started laughing again, his head shaking and his sad eyes partially lit as he made fun of the man in front of him.

"Are you serious?" Blue choked out.

He was pretty easy when it came to food but he drew the line at brain.

"No," Kool answered simply, still smiling at Blue.

"But I could not resist. You were being all take charge and bossy."

Blue smirked back.

"Oh, you mean I was acting a lot like you?"

"Touché."

The teasing, set the tone for the rest of the meal and Blue was happy about that.

The fact that Kool actually ate half of what was in front of him made Blue even happier.

As they ate though and despite the smile on Blue's lips, he could not help but worry about the damage his presence here was doing to Kool.

His mom had made it clear he was not welcome and as a result the two of them had had a confrontation that Blue still wasn't sure Kool would ever recover from.

That being said, should Blue stay or should he leave?

What he wanted was clear.

He wanted his two remaining weeks but did what he want really matter when compared to what Kool needed?

And the answer of course was an 'unequivocal no'.

So, what options did that leave Blue with?

Very little as far as he could see.

Leaving now was what would be best for Kool.

Blue just didn't know how to introduce the subject with him.

They paid the bill and started walking back towards the hotel.

The twinge on Blue's hip reflected the twinge he felt on his conscious as he mentally warred with himself as to how to mention his leaving to Kool.

A part of him felt like he would be deserting him and he cringed inside thinking Kool may feel the same way but the two of them going on together now would only hurt Kool more.

Blue had no idea how much further his mother was capable of taking things if push came to shove.

If he stayed and went against her wishes would that prompt her to retaliate against Kool?

Blue could not handle that.

Blue coughed lightly into the silence as they walked, trying to get the courage to say what needed to be voiced.

There needed to be a discussion at the very least and hiding their heads in the sand was not going to help anything.

Just outside the hotel in a private alcove Blue stopped and grabbed at Kool's wrist halting him.

Kool looked up at Blue with raised eyebrow clearly surprised by Blue's actions.

"Should I leave?" Blue rushed out, the words breathy and a bit garbled as they leapt off of his tongue.

Kool frowned up at him in confusion, not understanding.

"Leave where?"

Blue ran his hand through his hair feeling tense and flustered and knowing he hadn't broached the subject very well at all.

He had meant to be calm and rational but his fear had overrun everything and the words had just jumped out.

Now he needed to try and explain to the confused man in front of him.

"Should I cut my trip here short and leave? For you?" Blue quietly replied, seeing pain flash in Kool's eyes quickly followed by anger as Blue's words penetrated his tired brain.

"Are you fucking kidding me now?" Kool growled out, shocking Blue, the anger and pain were raw in his tone.

The harsh crudity of his words clarifying even more Kool's feeling on this particular subject.

"Kool..." Blue tried to explain but Kool cut him off with a downward slice of his hand through the air.

"No," he cried out.

"No," he repeated his voice rough with emotion, his body tense with suppressed pain and anger.

"I just cannot even talk about that right now," Kool gasped, backing away from Blue's outstretched hands.

"Kool, I'm just saying," Blue tried again feeling sick inside that the blank flat look was back on Kool's face and that he was the one that had put it there this time.

Kool stopped backing away.

He stood still and closed his eyes.

His chest rose up and down quickly revealing how overwhelmed he was feeling.

Blue stepped forward again but Kool's eyes opening, stopped him and his hand extended out palm up, stopped him as well.

Blue's heart plummeted to his stomach.

He just kept hurting Kool and he couldn't seem to get out of the vicious cycle.

"I understand," Kool finally whispered, his lips quivering.

"I r-really d-do," he stammered, nodding his head with jerky little motions.

"But I just cannot right now. I cannot take hearing that from you of all people right now."

Watching Kool's mini meltdown along with his anger shook Blue to his foundation.

He felt like he had betrayed Kool and it was the farthest thing from the truth.

He had only wanted to help.

"I cannot stay tonight," Kool finally whispered into the silence that had gone on too long.

"Wait," Blue cried out as if to stop Kool but he shook his head at him and stepped back.

"I just need a minute to myself. I need to think," Kool responded, backing away from Blue.

"I would not be good company anyway," he said with a sad crooked smile as if he were trying to assure Blue everything was okay but it wasn't.

Nothing had been okay since Kool's mother had made her appearance and had damaged the very core of his being and all Blue could do was watch.

"Baby," Blue whispered softly in a last-ditch effort to appeal to Kool to stay but he was already turning away, a bittersweet smile on his lips and haunting sadness in his eyes.

With regret Blue watched Kool's steps carry him further and further away.

His gut twisted and his heart nosedived to his feet.

He was unsure how things had progressed to the point that Kool actually walked away.

One painful question swirled around and around in his mind.

Was this goodbye?

[cagemasterfantasy]

Phantom Ranking (5e)

Guide

1=useless

2=often useful

3=sometimes useful

4=perfect

Whispers of the Dead 4 the ability to pick up a proficiency on short notice is incredibly useful. If you can combine this with other buffs like Enhance Ability and Guidance you can get around nearly any skill-based or tool-based challenge if you have time to prepare. Most of the time you can leave this on a low-importance skill proficiency but most tools won’t come up unless you’ve got time for a short rest. No one is going to ambush you and ask you to break out the Brewer’s Tools and make them some beer

Wails from the Grave 2 starts very slow (1d6 twice a day) but ramps up exponentially as your Sneak Attack damage and your Proficiency Bonus increase. The damage is Necrotic which is rarely resisted and it’s automatic provided that you made a successful Sneak Attack so it’s great for enemies that may be difficult to hit. Even as it gains in power you don’t want to throw this around needlessly. You’ll never get more than 6 uses (not counting Tokens of the Departed) and they’ll never deal more than 5d6 damage so you need to be strategic

Tokens of the Departed 4 I love everything about this feature. The theme is cool the mechanic is fun the resource pool is appropriately limited but easy to restore and the benefits are fun thematically appropriate, and really good. You get three benefits at level 9 but at level 13 you can recharge Ghost Walk with a trinket and at level 17 you wake up from longs rests with a free soul trinket. The first benefit is without doubt the best of the 3 and it’s good enough that you should nearly always keep a Soul Trinket handy. Advantage on Constitution saves isn’t quite as good as proficiency but it’s close. Unfortunately Phantom doesn’t need to worry about Concentration unless you take Magic Initiate or Multiclass so you don’t get to wave your token around every time you cast a Concentration spell. The second benefit helps with Wails of the Grave and it’s easily your most frequent way to spend trinkets. Wails from the Grave is a decent bit of damage by this level matching what a spellcaster can do with many cantrips. However the Proficiency Bonus usage limit won’t get you far so you can destroy a trinket to get a free bit of damage. Every time you think “is a new trinket worth my Reaction right now?” remember that it’s a small pile of easy necrotic damage when you need it later. The third benefit is basically Speak with Dead, but you only get 1 question. Otherwise it has all the same problems where the subject can be vague misleading or otherwise unhelpful. Very situational but if you can somehow make it work it’s excellent. This also has a curious edge case where the creature which allowed you to produce the token might be alive again especially in cases where your allies die and a raised from the dead. You might use this to ask a question of a creature who is currently alive leading to hilarious situations where the ghostly apparition of a living creature appears in the same room as that creature only to say something totally unhelpful before disappearing. The one flaw in the whole thing is that it falls prey to the classic Bag of Rats trick. You can kill any creature to generate a new Soul Trinket so if you have a bag of rats or access to other easily-expendable creatures you can kill them out of combat to recharge. Your DM might justifiably make some adjustments to disallow that (requiring a CR above 0 may be sufficient especially at level 9) so try not to lean on the abuse case too much. This generally won’t work with summoned creatures (they need to die not just be reduced to 0 hit points) and since death and being reduced to 0 hp suddenly mean different things I encourage DMs to start tracking death saves for enemies

Ghost Walk 4 a 1-minute duration on this would be good. A 10-minute duration on this is fantastic. 10 minutes is obviously plenty if you’re using this in combat but it’s more important outside of combat where you might need to move through walls floors or ceilings while scouting. The 10 ft. move speed is tiny but remember that you have Cunning Action so you can Dash as a Bonus Action. If you can get buffs like Longstrider they’ll do a lot to help both because any flat numeric increase is relatively large compared to 10 ft. and because you can essentially double the effect by dashing without spending your Action

Death's Friend 3 at this level Wails of the Grave deals 4d6 damage just short of its maximum at 6d6. Adding that damage to your primary target when you use Wails of the Grave means that your Sneak Attack deals 50% more damage though it’s not clear if you can multiply the damage on a critical hit. I believe that you can’t because the damage is applied to the target from a separate source rather than added to the damage of original attack like effects like Divine Smite. The second benefit of this feature ensures that you have at least 1 Soul Trinket at the end of a Long Rest. This is a crucial benefit so that you can benefit from Advantage on your Constitution saves so try not to burn your trinket the first time you want to use Wail of Souls. But since you get the trinket for free this also makes it easier to spend your last trinket right before you take a long rest. Of course you could just use the bag of rats trick to get free Soul Trinkets

Final Ranking 3 ok what if Ouija boards were a subclass? What if you got class features from talking to dead people? And what if those class features included necrotic damage and turning into a ghost? Enter Phantom. Phantom is a novel exploration of interactions with the dead as a class feature making Necrotic damage and death-related stuff available to a class with no ability to cast spells. Normally interacting with the dead is primarily done by Clerics and certain necromancy spells. Phantom has a much more direct connection to the spirits of the dead gaining proficiencies damage output and the ability to turn into a ghost. Phantom’s most novel and interesting mechanic is their pool of Soul Trinkets. These trinkets allow Phantom to fuel their most interesting features by gathering trinkets when creatures die nearby then spend those trinkets for extra damage or to ask dead creatures questions. Tragically this feature doesn’t become available until level 9. Waiting for creatures to die rather than being reduced to 0 hit points also makes it important for the DM to track death saves for enemy creatures which is a minor annoyance that most DMs are happy to avoid so discuss how your DM would prefer to handle that aspect of the subclass. Players may also find that Wails from the Grave is underwhelming at low levels compared to other subclass features at the same level. Phantom definitely builds slowly and may not feel really satisfying until level 9

[psychelis-new]

Hey I have an urgent question. I'm stressing about it.

I have my upcoming finals for science maths and social science.

Ik I'll do good but the problem is that maths is stressing the hell out of me.

Science too. But I'm doing my best.

Can you help me through astrology about the result or anything related to this prblm about my exams ??

Will be a big help if you do

🥺

Hello! I'm sorry but I don't know anything about astrology that could help you, please refer to astrologers for this. And I am not going to use tarots or anything else either -if that's what you meant- cause atm I'm not doing personal readings (and I don't do them like this).

The only thing I can suggest you, despite it's not what you asked for, is to try to focus on the voice that is telling you that you are doing your best and will do good, and not on the one that is causing you stress (and its reasons): try asking yourself why do you find math and science particularly stressful: it's because you don't understand them well, or you feel like you're still not good enough no matter the effort you put into them? You know, that's not strange: those aren't easy subjects for everyone. And you may simply not be "programmed" for them or to get them well maybe compared to another classmate of yours. You probably do better in other subjects, maybe one in which that same classmate of yours struggles more. It's okay, we're all different, we cannot all be mathematicians: it'd be useless anyway. And we can learn a lot outside of school but that's another story.

I know probably you are worried about getting certain grades cause having good grades could mean being praised, feeling good enough and "included", having more chances for further studies and maybe not having a subject down (and risk your academic year? Idk how your school/school system works tbh, I'm just guessing your reasons and stress-triggers). What I mean is that whatever is this stress about for you, maybe, if you try to do your best and to stay focused on what you can do now to prepare as you can (without letting stress take away precious time and energy/clarity from your mind), and you keep studying with an hopeful and open mind, you will do good. Even if you won't get the top grade, it will still be very good.

Don't give in to stress, ever. That's the top self sabotaging habit we have as human beings and what consumes us the most and takes us away from our goals. I know it's REALLY hard to not listen to it, but we need to try everytime, as much as we can, to focus on the present moment and do our best, without getting anxious about the future: we're creating it now in the present, it still does not exist, so why worry about how it could be? We can make it good as we want. So really, focus on trying your best (you won't have regrets even if you'd fail once you know you've given your all and you learned your lesson about what you missed for the next time) and not worry about how it will be: use your time wisely.

Take care of you, all the best<3 And remember to stay hydrated, and to give yourself breaks while studying: it's fundamental to be well rested and grounded when we need to give and pass important exams (not just in school).

[rtwiinkle]

How my desk looks in finals...🤍🗑

[italeean]

Laugh the stress away

You can find the plot here

A/N: Hi!! As I announced yesterday, here’s the fic. It was super fun to write and I love the idea of the teachers caring that much about their students ^_^ Thanks to everyone who will read it, your support means a lot to me. Siete tutti fantastici  💚🤍❤️ (you’re all amazing) As always, suggestions and support are always appreciated. Have a nice reading!!

DISCLAIMER: This is a tickle fic, if it's not to your taste I don't suggest you read it

Aizawa was storming towards the common room, as quietly as he could since it was 3 am, since he had seen a light while he was going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He was seriously worried that a villain was sneaking into the dorms, maybe with the intention of harming his students, but what he saw left him speechless.

Todoroki was sitting on the couch, papers scattered on the table, computer on and a pair of red eyes that not even the homeroom teacher ever got while he was using his quirk.

He looked so stressed that the pro hero couldn't bring himself to scold him, which is why he chose a more delicate, yet stern approach and invited him to go to his room and rest since it was so late.

The day after, Present Mic brought the graded English tests, and Todoroki wasn't surprised to see the 100% written on his perfect paper, given how hard he had studied, and he got complimented by Ms. Midnight for his excellent and pertinent interventions during her class.

But he couldn't bring himself to be happy or proud about it... he was so exhausted that even feeling emotions seemed tiring.

Obviously his behavior and his condition didn't go unnoticed, in fact the teachers were getting worried about their student and decided to confront him before his grades dropped, along with his morale probably.

The dual-haired hero was surprised when, after opening the door of his room after a knock, he found himself facing his teachers, Mr. Aizawa, Present Mic and All Might, to be precise. Although he knew he had done nothing wrong, he couldn't help but feel tense and slightly nervous because it wasn't an usual occurrence that three teachers visited a student.

"Little listener," Mic broke the ice "is something troubling you?" He went straight to the point to both spare time and prevent the student from being anxious over nothing. Todoroki understood what they were going to say, but decided to play dumb anyway, hoping they would drop the subject and leave.

However the three heroes were more than determined to help their pupil and tried many different approaches, and in the end the guy decided to drop the act and tell them everything.

He talked about the extra training that his father made him do, which not only was too much combined with the school training program, but also occupied the time he usually used to study and do his homework. He told his teachers about how Endeavor wanted him to keep his excellent grades although he was training more than anyone else. He confessed how he forced himself to pull so many all-nighters because he didn't want to disappoint anyone, especially himself, and he concluded saying "So that's why I may look slightly stressed..."

The teachers were astonished, even Aizawa was speechless. Todoroki had got everything out of his chest with such a calm demeanor that it was almost concerning, along with the situation.

"SLIGHTLY STRESSED?! THIS WOULD BE TOO MUCH EVEN FOR AN ADULT" Present Mic exclaimed, but he was quickly shushed by the dark-haired man, who had understood that the situation needed to be handled differently. This time, All Might took the lead of the conversation "Young Todoroki, we all understand your ambition to become not only a pro hero, but the #1 hero ever, but overworking yourself isn't the answer..." he remained calm to not make the guy feel like he was being scolded "I'll have a talk with your father to make him understand your current situation, but for now take it easy, alright?"

The student nodded, but he couldn't take it easy. He knew that Endeavor would've never accepted the idea of reducing his training and that the conversion with the ex #1 hero was going to end with a scolding from his father and maybe an even more intense training for him.

Obviously the teachers noticed his demeanor and couldn't leave just yet, not when the dual-eyed boy looked even more anxious than before.

"Come on, Young Todoroki," Toshinori sat on the bed with his pupil "try to not worry or overthink. We're your teachers and we care not only about your grades, but also about your well-being" he started rubbing his back to soothe him, but his fingers were grazing a bit too close to Shoto's sides, who couldn't refrain himself from squirming, although he was fighting back the urge to giggle with all his might.

The English teacher exchanged a knowing look with All Might, sat on the bed trapping Todoroki in the middle, and started softly squeezing his sides.

"Wha-whahahat's gohohoihing ohohon..?" the student had never been more grateful for the soundproofed walls that made sure that no one could hear his giggles. "Well... as your teachers we came to the conclusion that you need to relax and laugh, which is why we're tickling you, silly little listener hehehe... tickle tickle tickle" Hizashi said with a teasy grin.

Aizawa was observing the situation, ready to notice any sign of discomfort from the guy and stop his colleagues if that was necessary, but after noticing that the hero in training was genuinely having fun and cackling without any kind of worry, he decided to join the party.

He sat behind the trio and grabbed Shoto's hands, raised them slightly above his head and gestured the other two to unleash a full tickle attack on the stressed guy.

The two heroes went to town all over his torso, poking his tummy, softly kneading in his sides, delicately stroking his ribs paying extra attention to not leave any groove untickled, and worming their fingers into the poor boy's underarms. The assault and the soft phrases like "tickle tickle..." "come on, relax and laugh" and "you have a quiet laughter, it's so adorable..!" and many more coming from left and right were making him blush like crazy!

"Ihihi dohohon't thihihink thihihis ihis nehecehessahahahary..!" he tried to talk his way out of the predicament. "Your laughter says otherwise though" this time it was Aizawa talking, enjoying the squawk Todoroki let out after being exposed. He also let out an amused sigh, which was followed by an unexpected squeal.

The homeroom teacher tried to understand the reason behind that little outburst that the others didn't notice since their main focus was Shoto's middle. It didn't take long for him to understand what had happened, and once he struck, the cutest high-pitched giggles echoed in the room.

"HAHhahaheHE plehEHEahaHAsehe nahaHAhat thehEHErehe..! EEHEHEK!" Hizashi and Toshinori looked at the dark-haired man and noticed that he was sliding his fingertips all over Todoroki's hands, alternating between using only his pads and grazing the soft skin with his nails, and making him squeak every time he went between his fingers.

The three of them awwed at the flustered and giggly Todoroki (although Aizawa did that only internally) and unleashed the grand finale of their attack, which mainly consisted of those delicate and feather-like touches that drove the dual-haired guy up to the wall, and cherished the sight of their pupil finally having fun. "EEHEHEP! PleheheAHAHahaseHE stahAHAhap IHIHihit..!" After hearing those words, the teachers understood that it was time to stop and got up from the bed.

Both All Might and Present Mic ruffled Shoto's hair and patted his head, while Aizawa smiled fondly at the scene. The student was so tired that he decided to lay on the bed, which his teachers didn't mind, especially because it was partly their fault. "Tomorrow I'll have the talk to your father, so don't worry and try to recover a bit" All Might said "Alright, Young Todoroki?"

No answer.

The teachers checked the bed a bit concerned that they had overstepped the boy's boundaries, but they found him peacefully asleep with a soft and relaxed smile on his face. "Seems like he took your suggestion quite seriously" Aizawa whispered, making his colleagues snicker.

Paying extreme attention to not make any noise, they grabbed a blanket, covered him and left his room quietly closing the door, proud of the young hero for opening up to them and glad they were able to help him.

[primofate]

Genshin [Volleyball Team AU - Inspired by Haikyuu!] What it’s like to be their manager Headcanons

Note: I think a lot of people misunderstand the role of the manager XD It’s not that the whole team is dating you. It’s that the whole team treats you like their family/sister. So you’d better bet that all of them are gunna be hella protective of you XD

Scenario: What do you do for the team and what do they do for you? :D

Warnings: not proofread, fluffy, might have some swear words, platonic relationships

Characters: Zhongli, Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Tartaglia, Kazuha, Xiao, Tohma, reader as the team manager

Other works in the Volleyball Team AU Series: Click Here

Genshin Volleyball Team manager

It’s just fuckin’ chaos

On your first day you’re already bombarded with questions by Tartaglia and Kaeya

“So which class are you?” “What’s your height?” “Are you single?”

Captain Zhongli just cannot be bothered to reign them in anymore.

So Vice Captain Diluc does it and grabs their collars. “You idiots, you’re scaring her off!”

Possibly Kazuha and Tohma are the ones you really try to rely on, on your first few weeks.

So how do you gain the trust of your team? Let’s start with each player shall we?

#1 Zhongli (Captain/Wing Spiker/Ace)

Zhongli is just handsome and mature. He’s strict and needs to be the pillar of the team. 

You’re intimidated by him the first few weeks and he just seems...a little far. He’s always so focused that you can’t seem to catch a moment to just chat with him.

There’s a day where you notice that his form is a little off, you suspect that he hurt his wrist a little. 

You fidget uncomfortably in the gym as they practice, but finally turn to the coach “U-Umm... The captain is... I mean! I’m not sure, but... I think he needs to take a rest,”

The coach calls for someone to substitute Zhongli and suddenly asks you to check on him.

“Huh?! Me?!” the coach pushes you towards him, and Zhongli is just looking at you quizzically, you can practically see the question mark on his face.

“C-Captain, d-do you need some bandages on your wrist?”

Zhongli is taken aback, but silently puts his right wrist out for you to wrap.

Only when you’re done tending to it does he look you in the eye and ask.

“How did you know?”

“...Because I always watch, and all I can do is watch. If I can’t even spot that out then I’m not a very good manager am I?”

Zhongli has a newfound respect for you. He thought you were just a meek and shy thing sitting around and passing them balls but he feels his heart swell that someone like you is seriously watching over them.

#2 Diluc (Vice Captain/Wing Spiker/Defense Specialist)

Diluc is probably the second hardest to get along with or break the ice with.

But he gradually warms up to you when he notices that he’s always the first one you pass a towel and water bottle to.

You’re not doing that on purpose, it’s just him who always comes up first.

After a few days he deliberately goes to you faster cause he always wants to be the one to receive a water bottle and towel from you first. Secretly a puppy.

The moment he realized that you were reliable was when you stayed behind to help him practice when everyone else went home already. 

You didn’t let up in your constant praise of “nice receive”, “great spike!” and “that’s so cool!” 

He thinks he saw stars in your eyes at some point.

“Hey, Diluc, it’s getting late, let’s leave some energy for tomorrow, yeah?” he could tell from your mannerisms that you were tired too, but you tried not to let it show on your face and still cleaned up with him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then!” you wave but you’re stopped by a quick. “No,” from him. You tilt your head in wonder and he just looks at you as if it’s the most normal thing in the world.

“It’s late, I’ll walk you home,”

#3 Kaeya (Middle Blocker)

You don’t have to impress this guy, anyone of the female gender impresses him.

lol jk

safe to say it’s not difficult to befriend Kaeya, just bring him a cheering squad and some food.

all jokes aside the way to this guy’s heart is through his stomach.

He’s not a particularly hungry person but there’s this one time he forgot to bring lunch. He was running late, or something of that sort, honestly not something new for him.

He ALSO didn’t bring money so he couldn’t eat food from the cafeteria.

Ask his friends for money you say? Tartaglia would go, “Haha no way!” Albedo would go, “Let this be a lesson for you,” his brother would go “Serves you right,”

By club time he’s famished and dramatic. “Guys, go on without me, this is as far as I go,” as he sprawls on the gym floor.

You ask if he’s okay and he doesn’t answer so Diluc is the one that answers for him. “He forgot his lunch, as always,”

You make a sound of understanding and the next thing you know you’re taking out a lunch box and Kaeya has lifted his head up, sensing food.

“I packed onigiri for everyone today, actually... In case someone was hungry. It’s not much but--”

Kaeya comes alive from the dead and clutches your hands to his chest. “Manager you really are an angel,”

Diluc jump kicks him away from you.

#4 Albedo (Setter)

You also don’t know how to approach this guy

He always looks mad or stoic or something. Like he’s always thinking about something.

He low key actually is always thinking about play strategies and how to set the ball better for his teammates.

You really do think he works so hard while the game is going on, so you decide to help him out a little bit.

You watch a few more of their games and somehow come up with a list of what kinds of sets are better for each different spiker in the team.

There’s surprise in his eyes when you pass the document to him and modestly exclaim “...but, it might not be accurate, since I’m not that experienced,”

He still nods and says “...It’s the thought that counts,” 

When he does read your report and try the techniques out he notices that it does hold some merit in it

Is amazed like how Zhongli is amazed. He thought you were just there to hand them bottles and cheer for them but he had never been so wrong as to what a manager’s role is.

Will trust you enough to ask you about his set performance.  

Will sometimes slam Kaeya with an insult. “Kaeya, your spike sense is horrid, Y/N can read the moves better than you,”

#5 Tartaglia (Middle Blocker/Wing Spiker)

It’s not that he has a hard time trusting people but let’s just say he has the tendency to make you feel like he likes you but then he actually does that to everyone.

For example: He’ll throw compliments like “Oh that’s amazing Y/N!” but then back in the classroom you’ll hear him say “Oh that’s amazing!” to, like, every other person. 

That kinda disappoints you cause then the comment doesn’t really hold that much meaning to it if he keeps on saying it to others too.

He encounters a crisis mid year because this guy is just... he struggles with his grades. 

Captain Zhongli has told him he can’t play volleyball if he fails even one subject.

This boy is panicking and has semi-accepted this is the end of his volleyball career.

So you offer to study with him and he’s legit stoked.

Intensive and strict study sessions commence. Note taking, pop quizzes, surprise questions and even sudden random calls from you wherein you ask him a question and he has to answer within 5 seconds.

You’ve pulled all the study techniques you know here, this man better pass everything.

Welp, he still fails History....but since he worked so hard Captain Zhongli excuses it.

He’s so happy that he can’t hold back the stupidly wide smile on his face. He turns to you and for the very very first time in months, he bows and THANKS you.

You realize that he’s never thanked you before. Not even when you pass him water bottles or towels. 

You consider it a win, getting rare and sincere appreciation from him.

#6 Kazuha (Decoy/Middle Blocker/Wing Spiker)

One of the easiest to get along with but at the same time, he’s so mature that you feel like you’re not even in the same age range as him.

Definitely someone you can count on though, so you ask him many questions on the first week.

Still, it’s one of those things where you can kind of talk to him but there’s still a wall between you two.

One day while walking around in school there were these boys who were commenting about his height, and questioning his abilities as a volleyball team member.

You didn’t really think much about it when you speak up, “But he’s a really good middle blocker and spiker,” 

Those boys look at you weirdly and you realize that you’ve unconsciously spoken up. So you hurriedly walk away.

Little did you know that Kazuha was in some secret corner and heard the whole thing.

Just like that, the next day, it seems as if the wall between you two was gone, and you’re able to talk freely.

That, and he seemed to like asking you to help him practice his spikes and throw balls for him now.

#7 Xiao (Libero)

is deceivingly easy to get along with. Just has a rough exterior but is actually a softie if you squint.

You know this because there are subtle things he does. 

He doesn’t speak to you much but then he would be the one picking up the balls with you, or sometimes there’s magically a new set of clean towels on the bench that you don’t remember taking out from the storage room.

This guy is passionate for the game, so he really beats himself up when he isn’t able to receive a ball during actual games.

You worry about his mentality sometimes. I mean, it’s a team game, it’s not like he alone can save the whole game

So you talk to him about it the other day

“You’re already a really good libero Xiao, I mean... I’m not saying you should stop practicing but you don’t have to feel so bad...” you pause because this doesn’t feel like the message you want to convey

“Sorry, what I mean is... You CAN feel bad, but share the burden with your team, you know?”

He knows what you’re saying and contemplates it for a while. He knows that his team has his back, but sometimes just needs reminder about it.

He looks at you and asks, “...Can I share the burden with you too?”

You blink “Huh?”

“You said I can share the burden with my team, but can I share it with you too?”

There is a blush on his cheeks at this point.

“Oh, yea! Of course! I don’t play but I’m still part of the team you know!”

Ever since then, during games, if he feels a little frustrated he’d glance at you on the bench and you’d give him a thumbs up for a job well done.

#8 Tohma (Pinch Server/Middle Blocker)

You’re like bffs the moment you see each other

lol jk

You’re still awkward with him the first few days cause that’s just how first meetings are.

But he is very easy to talk to and always makes you feel at ease

Will always be the one to ask how you are if you need any help or if class was okay in general

Seems like the type of person to care more about others than himself

So he’s surprised when you come into the gym and you beat him to asking his usual questions.

“Tohma, how are you today? Did you have a proper lunch?”

“Tohma, are you getting tired? Want some water?”

“Tohma, how was class today?”

All the other members of the team turn to look at the two of you, thinking ‘Why does Tohma get extra attention?’ 

Tohma certainly doesn’t get extra attention you just TALK to him more. The other members deadass are also getting cared for by you, just in different ways.

This boy has some insecurities though, when it comes to playing the game. He hasn’t been in it for long so he’s the least experienced and that gets to him sometimes.

“Oh, really? But you play really well! I couldn’t tell that you’re new” 

His serves are really amazing though.

“Also! You always score points for us with the serves. Sometimes, your serves are my favourite part of the game!”

Has practiced extra hard so as not to let you down.

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