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iamnotthere-idonotdie · 2 months

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dream of me

part four

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synopsis: reader and bruce have moved in together and their relationship is going well. but a new gotham criminal kidnaps reader and they face sudden death, as well as a secret bruce has been keeping.

content: batman/bruce wayne x reader, cursing, no smut, violence, torture, death, blood, breaking/broken bones, kidnapping, brutality, guns, knives, vomit, graphic descriptions of violence and injuries

a/n: okay so this one took a dark turn, and i’m very surprised i was able to finish it so fast. i knew how i wanted this to play out but i wasn’t expecting it to get as graphic as it did so i do apologize for that honestly. i think what im learning is that as i write, i sort of envision it as a movie playing out in my head so sometimes it can feel more like a script than a story. also sorry if there are some wrong medical terminology and stuff in here, and sorry for any typos as well!

edit: also— i think i was kind of envisioning the joker here as seen in something like the killing joke (movie). honestly i just kind of read this joker with mark hamill’s voice altogether.

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“good morning, sleep well, i hope?”

“good morning, alfred. yes i did, thank you.”

you pour yourself a cup of coffee in the kitchen as alfred makes breakfast. you grab a mug for bruce and pour his as well.

“bruce still out?”

“yes, he called and informed me that he’ll be back soon from his workout.” alfred says as he flips the omelette in the pan.

“these workouts have been getting longer and longer.”

“he does like to keep active.”

“right, he just seems to get up so early for them. the other day i woke up in the middle of the night and he was gone, it wasn’t even 4am yet.”

“he finds the 24-hour gym is less crowded in the early hours.”

alfred slides the omelette onto a plate and sets it on the small table for you.

“thank you alfred. i just worry he’s not getting enough sleep.”

“oh, i’ve been worrying about his sleep for years.”

“i sleep plenty.” bruce enters the kitchen. “morning alfred.”

“good morning, sir.”

bruce walks over to the table and kisses you.

“good morning.” you say as you hand him his coffee.

bruce sits and alfred sets a plate of breakfast in front of him too.

“thanks alfred.”

“i just hope you’re sleeping enough is all. it seems like lately it’s been less and less.” you take a sip of your coffee and look at bruce. you don’t want to be a nag, but you do worry.

he takes a sip too and looks back at you.

“i’m fine, really.”

you smile unconvincingly at him and continue eating.

the rest of breakfast is quiet, but you don’t mind the still silence. this morning routine has brought you comfort over the last few months since you moved in. alfred set up your own room when you first came, but you and bruce quickly realized you both prefer sleeping in the same bed. that is, when he’s actually sleeping in it.

you finish breakfast and bruce takes your plates and puts them in the sink, alfred already turning on the tap.

you and bruce go back upstairs and you start getting dressed for work. he doesn’t always go in, but even on days like today when his work is to be completed at home, he still drives you. he told you early on that you could work hybrid as well, that you two could work together at home on his off days. but you enjoy working at the desk. and with this new outreach project you’ve been working on, you prefer having the team in person to collaborate.

as you button your top, bruce comes up behind and wraps his arms around you, stopping you from finishing.

“bruce…” he cuts you off by kissing your neck. you leave your shirt half open as you turn around and put your arms around his neck. you kiss, letting yourself forget about work. he slides his hands down your back and pulls you in tighter. you won’t ever get enough of this.

your phone’s alarm sings to tell you it’s time to leave. bruce pulls it out of your pocket and silences it, tossing it on the bed with a smile.

“i really should go today.”

“i think you should stay.”

“i don’t know…”

“it’s not like you’ll get fired, i’m your boss.”

you laugh lightly.

“maybe i should fire you, would mean you’d get to stay home all the time.”

you laugh again and kiss him.

“well maybe i could take a sick day today.”

“don’t worry, i wont tell anyone.”

he smiles and kisses you again. all that time getting dressed was for nothing as bruce unbuttons the rest of your shirt and you slide your pants off. while this isn’t a usual part of the morning routine you’ve established, you welcome the variation.

you run your hands through bruce’s hair and watch his chest rhythmically rise and fall as he sleeps. you let him sleep as long as he seems to need to, which is much longer than you thought it’d be. you eventually drift off too, the sound of his quiet snoring lulling your eyes closed.

it’s not until late afternoon when you both wake up again, the thick curtains unable to hide the sliver of sunlight peering in.

“you let me sleep so late.” bruce sits up in bed.

“you seemed like you needed it.”

he leans down and kisses you then gets up and starts getting dressed.

“the weather is supposed to be nice today.” you sit up. “maybe we could go to the park.”

he looks at you and smiles.

“that would be nice.”

you get up and get dressed too.

“i’ll go ask alfred to pack us some lunch.”

“okay, sounds great.”

he gives you one more kiss before heading downstairs. you finish getting ready and grab your phone off the floor. a text from tim, your former coworker in california, sits in your notifications. he and his husband have adopted a young girl. you smile at the family photo he sent and reply with your congratulations. as you look at the message, you let your mind wander and start to think about the prospect. of course you know bruce would be an amazing parent. but you’re not sure if you’d be. or if that’s even what you want. your life is so perfect now and you don’t think you want any of it to change. at least not for a while.

you go downstairs and find bruce packing some sandwiches into a bag. he zips it up and looks at you.

“ready?” he asks.

“ready.”

you decide to walk to the park since it’s only a few blocks away. the sun sits on your skin like a warm blanket as you and bruce walk. the two of you sit by the pond under an oak and eat your late lunch. the sound of birds and ducks paired with the cool breeze rushing through the tree leaves make for a perfect spot. you and bruce lay down in the grass and kiss, your picnic site offering enough privacy that you don’t have to worry about people seeing you. it’s not as if either of you care anyway, really. you’re not trying to hide your relationship, and with bruce’s status it’d be nearly impossible to try. but you still try to avoid paparazzi when you can. you and bruce lie there in the park together until the sun sets slowly behind the hill.

“we should get going before it gets too dark.” bruce sits up.

“i suppose we should.”

bruce grabs the bag and holds your hand as you make your way back home. night falls quickly as you walk. with only a couple blocks to go, you hear a commotion up ahead in an alleyway. sounds of a fight echo down the street. bruce stops walking and lets go of your hand.

“stay here a second.” he hands the bag to you and starts walking toward the source of the sounds.

“wait, shouldn’t we call the police or something first? or maybe we just wait for the batman to come and take care of it. you shouldn’t go down there by yourself.”

“you can call the police.” he continues.

you let out an exasperated sigh and watch bruce turn the corner. you press the numbers 911 into your phone. you finger is just about to click the green button when a strong hand covers your mouth and drags you backwards. you scream into the glove as loud as you can but the fight drowns out your attempts at getting bruce’s attention. all you can do is move around as much as possible to try and shake this person off you but they tighten their grip and then you’re being pushed into the back of a van.

three other people are inside and they grab you. you feel the rope burn your wrists as they tie your hands together behind your back. your throat already feels like it’s being torn apart from screaming. one person spreads a strip of duct tape over your open mouth but you still try to scream for bruce. suddenly a sharp pain strikes the back of your head. the tears have been blurring your vision but now everything is even fuzzier. you let out one more sob before the pipe hits you again and everything goes black.

pain.

that’s the first thing you feel when you finally come to. that’s the only thing you feel. a throbbing, deep pain throughout your entire body like you were just spit out of a cement mixer. you’re hands are still tied behind you and your ankles are stuck to the legs of a metal chair.

you force your eyes open, but everything is still dark. have you gone blind? is your sight gone? where are you? who took you? why can’t you move? you cant see you can’t move you can’t breathe you can’t hear you’re hurting you’re crying you’re screaming you’re shaking you—

the sound of a heavy door swinging open makes you freeze. strong footsteps slowly get louder and louder, closer and closer. the footsteps stop behind you and then you’re assaulted by a harsh bright light. it was a hood over your head, and the figure has now taken it off. the footsteps make their way around you and he stops in front of the chair you’re tied to, his back toward you. your breath shakes as he just stands there, staring straight ahead.

then he starts… crying? his shoulders shake and he gets louder. no… he’s laughing. he slowly turns around to face you, his red painted on smile sending a chill down your spine.

he bends down so his face is level with yours, your noses so close they nearly touch.

“good morning sweetheart.”

the tears continue streaming down your face as he straitens back up and turns, walking toward a table against the wall in front of you. he stops at it and slowly picks up an almost comically large knife.

you sob at the sight of the weapon, knowing it’s intended for you.

“i have a problem.”

he sets the knife back on the table and turns, walking towards you. the door opens again and you see a man in a clown mask rush by and place a camera on a tripod in front of you. he presses a button and a red light comes on and flashes at you.

“a problem that can only be solved by you.”

you somehow find the strength to open your mouth and speak, the words coming out hoarse and quiet.

“…m—me?”

“yes. i am in need of some… capital. some dineros, some cold. hard. cash. now i know you’re dating ol’ brucie and i know he has some access to just a bit of money.” he walks around you and stands behind the chair. “so, brucie boy, from your friendly neighborhood joker, deposit some dolores for me in a safe and lock it up real tight. bring it to the chaplain bridge, in person, at midnight tonight along with the key and you’ll get to see your precious little babe once again.” he grabs your face and squishes your cheeks together.

“oh, silly me, i forgot to tell you how much! let’s see, oh, how about, $50 million. that seems fair enough, don’t ya think?!”

he bends down so his face is next to yours.

“isn’t 50 million enough to save the life of your dearly beloved?”

he pulls something out of his pocket. you feel the cold barrel of a gun press against your temple and let out a sob.

he pulls the gun off your head, still pointing it at you.

*click*

you scream and jolt away. terror runs through your body like electricity.

you look over and he’s still staring at you with the gun pointed in your direction. out of the barrel popped out a banner, with the word BANG! on it. he turns back to the camera and waves.

“see ya tonight.” his tone is sinister and he laughs again.

the man in the mask flips the camera off. he tosses the gun behind his back and it clacks as it hits the concrete. he claps his hands together.

“so! now’s all that’s left to do is sit by, hang tight, let loose, and wait for midnight!” he laughs again and he and the other man leave the room with the camera. the clang of the door closing echoes throughout the room as you sit there alone.

you let out an ear-piercing, guttural scream and continue sobbing. all you want is bruce. you call for him, over and over, hoping by some miracle he’ll hear you through the thick concrete walls. you keep screaming, so hard and so loud that you vomit. now bile covers the front of your shirt and tears cover your face.

the echo of the door rings through the room again and fast footsteps approach. another man in a clown mask with a syringe in his hand unties your arms. before you let him stab the needle in, you punch him in the throat as hard as you can muster. he gags at the blow at stumbles backwards, dropping the syringe. you lean to try and grab it and the chair you’re tied to tips over onto the floor. your face slams into the concrete and you hear a crunch in your nose. you cry out and now all you see is red. you fight through the pain and reach for the syringe. it’s right there, just centimeters away, when a large boot stomps on your hand, surely breaking multiple bones. you scream in pain as the chair is reset upright. you scream and sob as the men grab your arm and stab the now-dirty needle in your vein. you keep crying, but as the seconds go by, you hear yourself getting quieter. the room around you spins in slow motion as your eyelids get heavy. the last thing you see is the joker’s white face and red smile.

your eyes slowly flutter open again. you didn’t know this was even possible, but somehow you wake up in even more pain than before. the joker is still standing there in front of you. smiling. laughing.

“you’re spunky. i like you.”

you all but growl at him as he walks toward that table in the corner, picking the knife up again.

“i thought you’d be asleep until our appointment with good ol’ bruce but the tranq must have been watered down!” he turns to you and laughs.

he carries the knife as he walks toward you.

“at least now we can have a little fun!” he takes the knife and you close your eyes, preparing yourself for the pain. but instead you feel the rope around your wrists and ankles fall.

“what’s say we play a game, hmm? i’m gonna bring in three of my best boys. and the longer you can stay upright and fighting, the more likely i’ll be to not kill you and your dear dear bruce tonight.”

the door opens again and three sets of footsteps walk in behind you.

you just stay sitting in the chair. how are you supposed to fight these huge men?

the joker sighs.

“if you’re gonna be a party pooper, then i guess we’ll have to find another game to play. maybe… target practice?” he throws the knife above your head and it hits one of the three men square in the chest. he falls backwards. dead.

you gasp and try to hold back tears as the joker just laughs.

“guess i do need some practice… i was aiming for his head! haha!” he buckles over in laughter again as you try to catch your breath.

“well good news now is you only have to outlast two goons!”

you slowly stand up, not wanting the next knife to land in your sternum. one of the men walk over to you. the joker takes the gun from before out of his pocket and holds it up above his head.

“ready? fight!” he pulls the trigger with a click.

a huge fist comes flying at your face and makes contact with your cheek. you fall to the ground in pain. he kicks you in the stomach and you just stay there, laying on the ground. he stomps on your chest, your stomach, your head. all you feel is blow after blow. the joker is just laughing at your misery.

you feel a rush of adrenaline run through you and you growl in anger. when the next stomp comes toward you, you grab the booted foot and yank as hard as you can, bringing the man to the ground. you’re surprised you had the strength to do that. you quickly stand back up and kick him in the face, breaking his nose too. you kick him in the crotch and he screams. you sit on top of his chest and punch him with your unbroken hand. over and over and over. all you hear is the sound of the joker’s maniacal laugh and your own grunts as you beat the guy’s face in until he no longer resembles even a man. finally you stop, feeling proud of your strength but guilty for your brutality.

before you can get up from sitting on him, the other man is picking you up and slamming you into the concrete. your shoulder hits the ground hard and you scream. he picks you up again and throws you back first, your head colliding with the concrete so hard you’re sure they’ve both cracked. he grabs the front of your shirt and lifts you up. your body goes limp from exhaustion and he forcefully sits you back on the chair. he punches your face. one. two. three. four. five. six. times then he finally walks away. your vision is blurred and you’re seeing colorful stars flash all around you. you look down and see blood dripping down from your face and onto your lap. the joker just laughs again.

“well, you fought off one! bravo! of course that means only one of you will die tonight. shame. lovers dying together is the sweetest ending of all. romeo and juliet… swan lake… the notebook...” he pretends to wipe a tear. “but oh well. at least now you get to pick who dies! haha!”

“me.” you immediately answer. “kill me. not him.”

“awww how noble! sacrificing yourself for the love of your life, it’s a beautiful thing! very well. you’ll be the one to die.” he takes out a pocket watch. “my oh my look at that! it’s showtime, baby!”

you get tied up again and dragged out of the room. the hood is placed back on your head before exiting, and you’re thrown back into a van. the drive is longer than you expected. how far out of town were you?

the van stops after what you guess was about a half hour long drive.

you’re dragged back out of the van and onto the street. the hood is removed and the joker is gripping your neck and leading you onto the bridge.

you make it to the middle and he shoves you to the ground. you only now notice the gun in his hand.

“oh bru-uce! show me the money, baby!”

his voice echos across the water under the bridge and you wait. you hope he doesn’t come. you hope he’s decided to let the police handle it. you hope he didn’t choose to risk his life for you. because although the joker assured you that you’d be the one to die, you obviously can’t trust that he won’t pull the trigger on bruce too.

“come out come out, wherever you are!” the joker yells in a singsongy voice. “well isn’t this a disappointment! at least it was gonna be fun to kill you. now i almost can’t even enjoy it.” he points the gun in the center of your forehead. you close your eyes and let yourself cry.

you picture bruce’s face. flashbacks of when you first met him come to mind and you go through it all. you think of his smile, how it was crooked and always made you smile back. you think of his hair, how it was always just a little tussled and never quite laid flat. you think of his skin, how it was warm and how it felt against yours. you think of his laugh, how it can at times feel rare but when you hear it, it’s like the world stops. you think of his eyes, how they’d glow like warm honey when the sunlight hit them just right. tears stream as you think of every part of him. how you wish you’d spent more time memorizing him.

you hear the cocking of the gun and you gasp. you only now realize how afraid you are to die.

suddenly a loud clang behind you startles your eyes open and the joker stumbles backward. a large, dark figure comes swooping in and tackles the joker to the ground. the gun is kicked away and you watch as the batman punches the joker in the face, repeatedly. the men from the van come rushing in and the batman takes each one down with little effort.

soon, he’s standing in the lowlight of the bridge, looming over the bodies of his victims of vengeance. he walks back over to the joker and picks him up by his collar and holds him over the bridge above the water. the joker laughs.

“well then what’s it gonna be batty-boy?! you gonna kill me?! do it!”

the batman hesitates to drop him into the rough rushing river water below.

“do it!” the joker laughs in his face again.

you see the shine of red and blue lights flashing behind you and hear sirens. the sound of many footsteps come rushing onto the bridge as officers take the bodies off the ground and into custody. a few more train their guns at the batman and instruct him to let the joker go. after some time, he flings the joker back over the railing and slams him onto the ground. the officers rush to handcuff the joker and the batman walks away, back toward you.

“this isn’t over, batman! it’ll never be over!” the joker laughs again as he’s dragged away by the officers.

the batman bends down behind you and unties the ropes around your wrists.

“are you okay?” he asks, quietly. his low, gravely voice tinges with familiarity.

you just nod and he scoops you up and carries you to the ambulance. he gently sits you on the gurney and the paramedics begin treating your wounds and setting up an iv. the batman just stands there and watches, as if to make sure you’ll really be okay. you stare back at him, trying to place this strange gut feeling. the medics walk away for a moment to grab something else, leaving you and the batman there, just looking at each other.

the medics come back and start to bring you into the ambulance. up until the moment the doors close, you and the batman just continue staring. the medicine you’ve been given starts to work as you feel your eyelids get heavy. your last thought before passing out is of bruce.

the tubes in your nose and the cast on your arm are the first things you notice when you awake. your eyes adjust to the light of the hospital room and you look around, your eyes landing on an unexpected face.

tim is there, sitting by the window sleeping. alfred is in a chair next to him. he notices you’re awake and presses the alert for the nurse.

“hello, dear.”

“alfred…”

“i’ve called for the nurse. just relax.”

“…where’s bruce.”

“he… had to go to the police station. to finish up the case.”

“but he’s okay?”

“physically, yes. but i don’t think i’ve ever seen him so distraught. i’ll call him now and tell him you’re awake. he’ll want to see you.” alfred leaves the room and you see him dial his phone.

the nurse comes in and checks your vitals, making sure you’re getting enough medicine. you have a concussion, a broken hand, your shoulder was out of socket, and your nose had to be realigned. apparently it’s been days since the incident.

the joker is in custody at arkham, but that’s doesn’t give you much reassurance since he apparently has broken out of there before.

tim wakes up and walks over to you with tears streaming down his face.

“are you okay?” he asks.

“just peachy.”

he laughs lightly and wipes a tear away.

“i was so scared.”

“me too.”

“but you’re gonna be okay now. you’re okay now.” he reassures himself. you didn’t know you meant so much to him.

“thank you tim.”

he smiles softly.

“i should go call chris and let him know you’re okay.“

“okay.”

tim walks out of the room as alfred comes back in.

“bruce will be here soon.”

“thank you. i’m glad you’re here alfred.”

“of course, love.”

tim comes back in and says that chris sends his regards.

“he’s been worried sick, watching the news while also taking care of the baby.”

“if you need to go tim, go. i understand.”

“im sorry i can’t stay.”

“really tim, it’s okay. thank you for being here.”

tim smiles and holds your good hand.

“i’m just so glad you’re okay.”

“thank you.” you smile back at him and he leaves.

alfred moves the chair to be closer to your bed and he holds your hand as you wait in silence for bruce.

bruce comes rushing in wet from the rain with tears in his eyes. alfred gets up from the chair and gives it to bruce. bruce sits in the chair, holding your hand, and the two of you just sit there together.

you’ve never felt fear like that before. of course you were afraid when your mother died, but you were so young. and your father was sick for a long time before he passed, so this crippling feeling of terror was something you’ve never had to experience before and something you hope you’ll never experience again.

“i’m so sorry.” bruce fights back tears. “i should’ve never left you alone. i should’ve known better. i thought i was protecting you but really i just put you in danger. this is all my fault.”

“no it’s not.”

“it is.”

“no, bruce. it’s not.”

“i was just so… angry. at him. i still am. i really thought i was going to kill him.”

you furrow your brows in confusion.

“you mean… like… if you’d have been there? at the bridge?”

you notice alfred looks up at bruce with a curious look on his face. bruce turns his head to look back at him. alfred just nods.

you look at both of them, perplexed by this silent agreement between them.

“what’s going on?”

“there’s something you need to know… about me.”

“okay…?”

“i… i’ll show you when we get back home.”

“alright.”

bruce and alfred clear you with the doctor and confirm that you’re ready to leave so you get in the car to go home. you just lay in the backseat with your head on bruce’s lap. he runs his hand through your hair as alfred drives you all home.

the press is already there, ready to get a statement from you and bruce about the whole ordeal. of course you and bruce don’t say a word as he carries you inside.

he sets you down on the couch and lights a fire. alfred goes to the kitchen to make you something to eat. you lay on bruce’s chest on the sofa, watching the flames rise and fall. the heat of the fire brings you comfort, but bruce’s warm touch makes you feel at peace for the first time since that day at the park.

hours go by, the fire has become just a few orange embers, and you and bruce have eaten dinner. you suddenly remember what bruce said back at the hospital.

“what is it you wanted to tell me?”

bruce sighs and helps you up off the couch.

“i need to show you something.”

you slowly walk hand in hand to the library down the hall. you don’t come in here much but you know bruce and alfred do.

bruce goes to a wall in the back and pulls a book off the shelf. you hear a click and he pulls the wall out, revealing it’s a door to an elevator.

“what the fuck…”

bruce opens the elevator door and leads you inside.

“what is this?”

“something you need to see.”

the elevator slowly brings you down to a lower level you didn’t even know existed. bruce opens the door and leads you out of the elevator and into a basement. or at least what you think is a basement. inside, you see computers, televisions, and other tech items around. a motorcycle sits there too… along with a familiar-looking car. bruce lets you wander through the area. you try to absorb what this all is.

“what exactly am i looking at here, bruce?”

he walks over to a door and opens it to a closet. what’s inside, sitting on the shelf, makes you gasp. you slowly pick up the mask.

“i’m sorry i didn’t tell you.”

“why… how…”

“i’ve been doing this for years now. i just… this is how im able to try and help. only alfred knows.”

“and you couldn’t tell me? why?”

“everyone who knows about this is in danger. i couldn’t knowingly do that to you. but you deserve to know.”

“i… don’t even know what to say.”

bruce closes the closet door.

“i come down here every night. that’s why i’ve been gone so early in the morning. i’ve known about joker for a while and have been trying to track his whereabouts.”

“but now, he’s locked up. he’s gone.”

“as long as he’s alive, he’s a danger. and it’s not just him. you’ve lived here your whole life. you know what these streets are like.”

you just nod.

“so… this is what you do every night. you go out, after i fall asleep then return before i wake up.”

“i try. but some nights are longer than others.” bruce walks up to you and holds your hand. “but now you know.”

you just nod again, not quite knowing what to say.

“i will never forgive myself for leaving you alone that night, and i will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it.”

you look up at him. a tear rolls down his cheek and you wipe it away, leaving your hand on his face.

“i was so afraid of losing you.” he speaks barely above a whisper.

“you’re not gonna lose me. i’m here. i’ll always be here.”

he kisses you. in this room, this room that’s been kept a secret from you. this other side of bruce that’s been kept a secret from you. you want to be angry, but all you feel now is peace as he holds you in his arms.

whatever future may come, whatever troubles you will inevitably be forced to face, you know that you’ll now be able to do it together.

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piglet26 · 4 months

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Rey...A Mary Sue?

When it comes to the Star Wars fanbase.....Disney is the maker of many of their own problems. Disney has blown things out of proportion. They've attacked their own fanbase and then hidden behind that very slander to avoid criticism. They haven't honored the very audience they seek to make a lot of money from, not to mention the franchise. They've bounced around between visions trying to please everyone and then pleased no one.

However, the Star Wars fanbase is also to blame for many of their quarrels, grips and dissatisfactions with the franchise. Oh, you don't like the corporatized Disney sequels? Well I remember you didn't like the prequels which George Lucas actually did them. Disney sequels are too comedic? The movies would've been better if there was less humor? Well the prequels were too whiny, political and serious.

It's not enough that Disney films are more diverse, have a female lead and have more females on the production side..... unless those characters are saying, doing and being portrayed exactly how the fanbase would like.......then Disney is still misogynistic and racist.

Carrie Fisher, The Princess, faced sexism, ageism and body shaming from both Disney and the Star Wars fandom prior to returning for The Force Awakens. Since he passing obviously many people would like to forget about this or flat out bury it.

Carrie Fisher tells British Good Housekeeping that she was pressured to lose more than 35 pounds to reprise Princess Leia in The Force Awakens: “They don’t want to hire all of me — only about three-quarters! Nothing changes, it’s an appearance-driven thing. I’m in a business where the only thing that matters is weight and appearance."

She first donned that golden slave bikini when she was 27. Thirty years later, Carrie Fisher’s back as Leia in “Star Wars,” but apparently some viewers thought she’d look exactly the same. The 59-year-old actor was the unfortunate recipient of a barrage of hateful tweets from critics who felt the need to tell her she’s aged badly in the past three decades. She Tweeted, "Men don't age better than women, they're just allowed to age." Meanwhile, Harrison Ford looked old and Mark Hamill looked liked a drunk.

All of this is to say the question of whether or nor Rey is a Mary Sue isn't a simple one. While Disney LucasFilm didn't develop the character as well as they could have.... the audience largely had double standards. Rey, as a woman, had more work to do to win over an audience already suspicious of the feminization of Star Wars.

Let's address the criticism

Why does Rey seem so skilled?

Rey works for Unkar Plott scavenging. It would make sense she understands engineering and mechanics. She has to understand how things work, which parts are valuable and understand that about multiple forms of machinery. How does she fly? Just fly, not even combat fly. If in her introduction she was shown to be flying commercially maybe people would've let it go, I'm not sure. Luke and Anakin by contrast turn out to be expert pilots who fight in combat..... no one questioned a thing and one of them is a child. When she initially flies the Falcon she does an alright job and in the three sequels films we never see her fly in combat. Finn never learned how to fly!!!! He famously needed a pilot, yet, got a crash course in The Last Jedi enough to fly at the end against the First Order. She speaks droid, but all our protagonist in Star Wars do. Someone has to be able to understand them.

Rey has no flaws and she's so perfect.

No, actually she's not. Rey is extremely vulnerable, lonely and requires validation. She fears she's gonna be an old woman cleaning gear on Jakku, but she doesn't leave. The only character she really relates and connects to.... is the villain. Yes, she's likable and she's suppose to be because she's our protagonist. Who the hell finds fault with either the character or the production team for trying to make their main character likeable?! Other characters are attracted to her. It's important to note that most force users come off as charismatic, magical and attractive.

Does Rey have a personality?

Yes. Many people get held up on the fact that Rey seems to be bubbly and happy despite growing up in isolation in a tough environment. Initially, with Finn, she comes off pretty hostile and untrusting. It was only when she assumed he was resistance (something safe) and he went along with the assumption that she relaxed a bit. She responded with anger at him just grabbing her hand, but when he showed concern for her then she reciprocated. Neither Finn nor Rey have proper social development which explains why they latch onto one another. Not to mention both are outsiders thrown into pivotal roles without much concept on how to deal with those roles.

Rey is also very childlike. It's something Kylo Ren tries to push her out of. She waits around for her family for years. She licks plates and plays with the resistance helmet. She latches onto people. She latches onto Finn once she trust him. She latches onto Han perceiving him as an ideal father figure. When she forms a connection to Kylo Ren she latches onto him. She's loyal to the people and things she cares about. There were things that could have helped Rey become a fuller developed character. Rey can fight but we never learned WHY she learned how to fight. Has she been stolen from a lot? Has she been attacked? Was she trained? Rey was taken at a young age, what schooling did she receive? Did she just learn trade work? In the novels, her character is obviously developed more, but Lord! People really act like any oversight of character development was a feminist statement about perfection. In reality, it was a film trying to balance multiple characters in a 2.5 hour film.

Rey doesn't have any training and yet is so magical with the Force.

Rey is assisted by The Force. Force users can use the force with very little understanding of it or training. Anakin as a 9 year old is just winging it. So there's that. Now the first time she encounters Kylo Ren, she's terrified and running/shooting for her life. When he force freezes her she's helpless. When he puts her to sleep with the force, she has to be rescued by men.

Now this is the most important. Her bond with Kylo Ren is one of the reasons she's able to access more of and learn about the force. "A Force dyad, also known as a dyad in the Force, was when two Force-sensitive beings had a unique Force-bond—that was unbreakable—that made them one in the Force. The power of a dyad was as strong as life itself, with the individuals forming the dyad sharing a connection that spanned across time and space."

They don't play this up enough in the movies. In the novels it's clear that their minds bridge. She's able to access Kylo's mind from understanding how he accessed her mind. Their bond boost both of their strengths in the force. It's important to note that Rey's abilities actually terrify her.

Rey knows more about the Falcon than Han Solo.

She explained that Unkar Plott installed a compressor which Rey was aware of and both Han and Rey agreed put stress on the hyperdrive. After her assistance bypassing the compressor Han is firming in control of The Falcon.

She beat Kylo Ren at the end of the Force Awakens despite never holding a light saber.

Well, I agree with this one. Kylo Ren wasn't trying to kill her. He was sparring with him and testing her talents. If he wanted to kill her, there was a convenient cliff he could've pushed her over. He wants to train her and he wants her.

Daisy Ridley is a talented and charismatic actress.... she just isn't recognized for it. The fandom looks for flaws, weaknesses and reasons to complain. I don't want to take away anything from the males in Star Wars. I want them to be great. Honestly A Song of Fire and Ice is how I'd like to see more men and women written. Some are good, some are bad, some are great, some are horrific and all are flawed.

#star wars #rey skywalker #rey star wars #ben solo #reylo #kylo x rey #ben solo deserved better #finn star wars #star wars sequel trilogy #carrie fisher #disney star wars #rey nobody #rey palpatine

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wow-its-me · 1 year

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I’m kinda over complaining about tmnt 2012

Anyway here are The Best/ my favorite episodes (in chronological order)

New Friend, Old Enemy (the first Mikey-centric episode)

Panic in the Sewers (there all freaking out lol)

Mousers Attack! (A team vs B team)

Cockroach terminator ( Raph faces his fear)

Parasitica ( gave me nightmares as a kid/pos)

Showdown (uh oh plot time)

Follow the Leader (Lame-o-nardo)

Slash and destroy (everyone almost dies)

The Good, The Bad, and Casey Jones (omg it’s Casey)

Metalhead rewired (omg it’s Metalhead)

Mazes and Mutants (the D&D episode)

Into dimension X ( omg it’s dimension x)

The invasion ( uh oh plot time pt 2)

Within the woods ( … Leo )

Race with the demon ( Donnie, Casey, and a Mutant car)

Return to New York ( … yeah)

Battle for New York ( uh oh plot pt 3)

Casey jones vs the underworld (omg it’s Casey pt2)

The Creeping doom ( … Donnie)

Beyond the known universe ( the world ends … and the turtles go out in public for the first time)

The weird world of wyrm ( I just like the Casey centric eps lol)

Riddle of the Ancient Aeons (they try not to kill each other)

Trans-dimensional turtles ( why is there angst in my 80s crossover)

Earths last stand ( uh oh plot time pt 4/5)

Darkest plight ( tearing up a bit)

Tokka vs the world ( everything would be easier if the government didn’t get involved)

Requiem/Owari (I can’t watch one without the other,,, I can’t watch either without crying,,, seriously what was that ending)

S5/Tales

The tale of Kavaxas (four parts, ties up loose ends from the series, Mark Hamill, cult stuff, rottmnt foot vibes )

Lone Rat and Cubs (baby turtles are cute)

Wanted Bebop and Rocksteady (Violence is good actually, also this would’ve been better if it wasn’t the finale)

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 12

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storiesforallfandoms · 2 years

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the archer and the trickster ~ tom hiddleston

word count: 1341

request?: yes!

“Tom hiddleston x female reader, the reader is a actress who plays Clint Barton twin sister who’s a archer. The reader and Tom meet on the set of the avenger movie and after that they start dating. The reader goes to the Thor ragnorak premiere and she’s wearing a dress that’s green and Tom wearing a purple suit and they are wearing those since both of their respective marvel characters wear those colours. The reader shows up to the premiere and goes to stand by Tom and a interviewer asks if she’s dating Tom and she says yes and the interviewer also asks if her and Tom coordinated their clothes to match with their marvel characters and she said yes because they thought it would be funny”

description: they play arch enemies on screen, but in real life they are the cutest couple the mcu has ever seen

pairing: tom hiddleston x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“You’d make a good Joker.”

Tom looked over his shoulder at you with a playful smile on his face. “Why do you say that?”

“You look really good in that purple suit,” you told him. “You’d kind of look like the Joker from the animated show. The Mark Hamill one.”

He chuckled at your comparison before turning fully to face you. He posed in his purple suit and did his signature Loki smile for you. You chuckled and nodded. “Definitely a good Joker.”

It was the night of the Thor: Ragnarok premiere, which you and Tom decided would also be the night you’d announce your relationship. You figured it was about time to do so. You had managed to keep the relationship a secret for five years, since meeting on set of the first Avengers movie. Given the fact that both of you didn’t have a social media presence it wasn’t hard to keep it a secret, but you were shocked you hadn’t been photographed by paparazzi thus far in your relationship.

For the premiere, you had the idea that you and Tom should dress up in the colors of your Marvel characters. You played Caitlyn Barton, the twin sister to Clint Barton who was also an expert archer. In the comics, Caitlyn had a costume similar to Clint’s as they both shared the “Hawkeye” title, and, even though you had yet to wear the comic accurate costume, you thought it would be cute for Tom to wear a purple suit and you’d wear a green dress for Loki.

You sat in front of your vanity, finishing your makeup for the premiere. You had already done your hair and decided you wanted to do a look that had some silver in it to go along with the Loki look.

Tom came up behind you as you put the finishing touches on your makeup. He smiled at you through the mirror and leaned down to kiss the top of your head.

“You look so beautiful,” he said.

“Thank you. And you look very handsome.”

“Shall we go? Our ride should be here soon.”

You took his arm and the two of you went out to wait for your ride. When the car pulled up, you felt some nerves build in your stomach. You knew it was time for the world to know about you and Tom, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to lose that secrecy yet. But Tom’s hand laced through yours throughout the drive helped to calm you down some.

The premiere was already a buzz when the two of you arrived, and once the fans realized it was Tom who had just pulled up the buzz only got stronger.

Tom got out of the car first and helped you out like the gentleman he was. You smiled and waved at the fans before the two of you started down the red carpet together. It was hard to see much of anything with the constant flashing of camera bulbs. You’d think that after so many years of dealing with paparazzi and red carpets you’d be used to this by now, but it always had you a little bit dazed.

You were grateful to see the familiar faces of Chris and his wife, Elsa, as you and Tom moved down the red carpet.

“Oh thank God,” you said under your breath as you hugged Elsa.

She chuckled. “Someone seems nervous.”

“Nervous is an understatement,” you responded. “My stomach has been in knots since we left the house.”

“Everything’s fine, love,” Tom assured you, squeezing your hand.

You smiled up at him, grateful to have him there with you for this.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have him for long before he was whisked away for some red carpet interviews, leaving you with just Chris and Elsa.

“You’d think red carpets wouldn’t be so nerve wracking to me after all these years,” you said.

“It’s not just a red carpet. This is going to be a big night for the two of you,” Chris said. “Although, I agree with Tom that everything will be fine. You’ve been together for so long now, I don’t think telling the world about your relationship will change anything all that much.”

You nodded, hoping he was right.

You heard someone call your name and looked over to see Tom with his hand extended to you, calling you over to him. You said a quick goodbye to Chris and Elsa before walking over to join them. Tom put his arm around your waist, holding you almost protectively to him.

“Well, this is an odd couple,” the interviewer mused. “Loki and Caitlyn Barton; sworn enemies since the first Avengers movie when Loki brainwashed Clint.”

You chuckled. “Yeah, no one was more surprised than the two of us when we realized the feelings we had for one another were much different than the feelings our characters have for each other.”

“Must’ve made that fight scene in the movie either super awkward or extremely awesome.”

“A bit of both,” Tom agreed. “It was hard to get some of the fight right because I’d find myself distracted by how beautiful (Y/N) is.”

You felt yourself blushing and playfully pushed his shoulder. “He’s just saying that to sound smooth. I swear, that fight scene went perfectly fine.”

“So, has this been going on since Avengers, or was it more of a slow burn type relationship?”

“Oh no, Tom was very quick to as me on a date,” you responded. “I think it was day one of shooting on one of our breaks, Tom asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner some time. Naturally, how do you say no to such a dashing, British man.”

You cupped his face as he and the interviewer laughed.

“Wow, so you guys have just been on the DL for five years? That’s impressive!”

“Yeah, we’re very impressed,” you said.

“It’s been hard. I’m not big into posting on social media, but you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to post her beautiful face and show her off all the time. My Instagram might just become a (Y/N) fan account.”

You buried your head in Tom’s chest to hide the flush spreading across your face. Tom always knew how to make you feel this way.

“And I see you two are in your character colors,” the interviewer said. “I’m guessing that was intentional.”

“Oh, that was all my idea,” you said. “I thought it’d be cute but also kind of funny. Why not announce our relationship by wearing each other’s colors?”

You both continued to move down the red carpet, posing for pictures and talking to interviewers. It was basically a repeat of everything you said in the first interview the entire time, but neither of you minded. May as well get it all out of the way now so you don’t have to continue to explain yourselves in the future.

When you finally got to the end of the red carpet it felt like a weight had lifted off your shoulders. Finally, this secret you had been keeping for so many years was out in the open. You didn’t have to worry about slipping up by accident anymore.

You leaned into Tom as the two of you walked through the place where the premiere showing was happening. He put an arm around you and held you close.

“See?” he said. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It wasn’t,” you agreed. “I’m just glad to have you with me the whole time.”

He leaned down to place a kiss on your lips. You were glad that you could now opening show him affection without having to worry about being caught.

“I can’t wait to see the movie,” you told him. “It looks so much more fun than the first two.”

“Oh, it’s much more fun. I think you’ll really love it.”

“I’ll love it either way if you’re in it.”

He kissed your nose. “You’re so cheesy.”

“I am, and you love it.”

#tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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bit-odd-innit · 1 year

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Please elaborate on the “Sondheim fan Steve” and “villain voice over Eddie” I love it so much I didn’t know I needed this before but it’s amazing

@tuvens WELL IF YOU INSIST. Steve wouldn't call him a musical fan, he doesn't dislike them but the only ones he knows are like Grease and Bye Bye Birdie etc. But when he was a kid his mother took him to see a touring production of Gypsy as a bid to expose him to "more culture," not thinking that that's objectively an insane show for a mother to bring her child to. And Steve liked it, more than he's liked other musicals, but mostly he liked that his mom was sharing something she loved with him. Then he caught West Side Story airing as the late night movie and he was like "oh! That's the same guy!" And he starts seeking out more of his work, at first because he thought this could be his and his mom's Thing and eventually because he found himself genuinely connecting to the lyrics and the rhythm of the music and it scratched an itch he couldn't explain. His mom grew distant and then this thing he he thought could be for Them is now just a thing for Him, this secret thing he loves and cherish and makes him feel Seen. Also something something Steve's mom being the one to introduce him to Sondheim and Sondheim exploring his relationship with his abusive mother through his work look if I love a fictional boy I've GOT to give him a complicated relationship with his mother I just GOT to.

Semi-related I have this idea that Steve likes a lot of oldies, a lot of Motown and pop from the 60s and early 70s. It's not his favorite genre but it's the one he listened to most growing up so he's got a soft spot for it.

VO Eddie: I imagine he had a pretty successful music career so he's already an established name, so when there's a gap between albums and tours he decides to do a guest spot on some kids show for fun, let's say Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It's a goofy episode where the Turtles are trying to stop Shredder from disrupting a concert and Eddie is playing himself, it was just supposed to be a straightforward cameo but he hams it up and makes his cartoon self much more of a diva, leans into the bratty rock star persona and has everyone in the booth howling cause it's so much better than what was scripted. And it's so much fun he loves it, he starts taking on more voice-acting jobs and he's good at it. It gets to the point where he becomes more well-known for voicing cheesy-terrifying villains than his music, which suits him fine. I said this in the tags of the last post but I basically want to give him Mark Hamill's career, I want him to have his Joker or his Fire Lord Ozai, I want him to be the type of VO where you see his name in the cast and you're like oh HELL yeah this is going to FUCK.

#stranger things #thank you for asking!!!!#eddie goes viral cause he says on a panel that every character he plays is Gay because he is Gay #'they are not evil because they are gay they are simply Gay and Evil hoe this helps'#i'm going to flesh out the steve-sondheim thing more i have Plans he's going to sing Being Alive for Eddie #i just have to write like 90K of build up first......

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bbygirl-aemond · 1 year

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Reading the first Baela pov, and wow, she gives off such a transmasc vibe! I'm not telling you to make her trans, just saying that I relate a lot, especially to how I was before I found out I'm a guy. Like, her hesitating when Rhaenys said "You are a woman so these are women's clothes", quickly saying she's her father's daughter too when called her mother's daughter (reminds me of 'if i can't be a {correct gender}, at least I can say I'm like {correct gender parent}', redirecting the conversation to her sister when told she looks like her mother, choosing to be her true self instead of what everyone expects her to be even though it's technically 'better' (queen vs lady)... Just, reading that was like my teenage self looking into the mirror. Thank you for writing such good characters!

(i've been meaning to answer this for a HOT minute so sorry bout that, but the dialogue between laena and daemon in chapter 27 reminded me of it so better late than never?)

stuff like this always makes me so happy to hear! you also have excellent taste, bc my bf (trans masc) is also quite fond of stormbreak!baela.

it's been a pretty deliberate choice to write baela as disconnected from or rejecting traditional westerosi notions of femininity and womanhood. stormbreak will mostly leave any further interpretation up to the reader as to her personal sense of gender identity. of course you can identify as a woman while experiencing all of these things, or you can identify as a man, or something entirely different.

the remaining part of this ask probably counts as stormbreak spoilers, but it won't be for anything that's a major plot point within the timespan contained in the original fic- just stuff i might write in drabbles eventually. but it's stuff related to gender and baela in particular. :)

in my mind, baela never really settles down with a man. oh, she might marry one, but i don't know that she'll end up super duper in love the way most of the other women in this fic do. she'll have a ton of very fulfilling relationships, some of them involving sex, and she'll travel the world and live her life completely unhindered by her status within society as a woman. seafarer and traveler baela ftw, y'all!

she will also never have children. i wasn't super happy with her character ending up basically pregnant and left behind at home while her husband traveled the world and also cheated on her. i don't see baela, even book baela, as someone who'd have those goals. i can see how losing almost her entire family might make her lonely, and how realizing she's one of only like 4 surviving targaryens might create pressure to reproduce regardless of her own desires. but in stormbreak, where her family survives and there are gonna be so many little targ babies running around you can't tell whose is whose? yeah she is never ever going through pregnancy are you kidding me lmao.

i've also received a few requests for some spicy drabbles involving baela (once she is MUCH older i do not write porn for any characters who are under 21 aka younger than me okay). these will probably also involve a certain degree ambiguity as to baela's internal sense of gender identity. baela will never desire or ask for penetration, and will instead prefer to penetrate others or participate in other types of sexual acts. anatomical terms will be used for body parts, but when baela is wearing a strap on it'll be referred to using the same terms i refer to male characters' sex organs with (i.e. a character wouldn't be described as sucking baela's strap, they'd be described as sucking baela's cock).

anyways the ambiguity is there for a reason and readers are free to interpret it in whichever ways make them happiest. my viewpoint on these things is kind of like mark hamill's with the character of luke skywalker: whatever you want baela to be, wherever you feel the text is leading you, that's how baela identifies. :)

#ask #asks #answered #stormbreak #fic: stormbreak #fic #baela targaryen #baela #stormbreak chapter 14

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scullys-scalpel · 10 months

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Me after watching the first couple of episodes of WWDITS: alright funny, funny

Me after a few more: Uh oh I'm in trouble

Me after binge watching 4 seasons as quickly as I could: OMFG every one of you could suck me dry rn and I would come back as a ghost to thank you. BAT! I dare someone to tell me this isn't peak comedy. BAT! Nadja's nightclub fucking rocked, fuck those other vamps for not thinking so. BAT! Colin Robinson I kinda love you. The Jersey Devil was so cute. BAT! Guillermo and Nandor just FUCK already! BAT! Is that sexual tension between Sean and Laszlo? BAT! Vampire Mark Hamill fucking slay! BAT! I am also going to be Jackie Daytona for Halloween this year, it is settled. BAT!

#wwdits #yall i can't stop thinking about it #its just so damn good #random text post

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aksm · 6 months

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oh you know when mark hamill grabs rahul kohli's arm it's definitely a 'mark hamill showing up and surprising adam scott in that one talk show' moment for kohli when it first happened

#fall of the house of usher #mike flanagan #rahul kohli my beloved #mark hamill

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copingchaos · 6 months

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i'm a 100% for amplifying the palestinian voice and sharing what is actually going on on the ground. The focus should be on them.

We should all pray, donate and at least keep ourselves updated on the crimes that are comitted towards them.

Another thing we can do to show the extent of our solidarity, is to stop putting celebrities on a pedestal. I dont care about many of them these days but there still are some that are meaningful to me.

Well guess what?

"More than 700 leaders from the entertainment industry have signed an open letter released by the non-profit entertainment industry organization Creative Community For Peace in support of Israel. The open letter calls on the entertainment community to speak out forcefully against Hamas, to support Israel, to refrain from sharing misinformation about the war, and do whatever is in their power to urge the terrorist organization to return the innocent hostages to their families.". See for yourselves

Now you might think oh that sounds reasonable, to stand against hamas in support of isreal. But the WAR CRIMES isreal is currently comitting doesnt just affect hamas. Over 6000 bombs have been dropped on regular civilians in just 6 days. If that is not collective punishment (another war crime) then i dont know what is. Hospitals have been forced to shut down? Again, what about the regular folk? Over a thousand palestinian children have died this past week alone!

Isreal is comitting a genocide and what do (not all but a lot) people with influential platforms do?

They stand with the oppressor.

And for those who argue, this was only in reponse to the first attack of hamas a week ago. Well where is their voice NOW when palestinians are being etnically cleansed as we speak? They havent changed their tune.

And not surprisingly, they are the ones who post misinformation. Jamie lee curtis literally signed the letter, which explicitly mentions refraining from spreading misinformation about "the war". That woman posted an instagram picture in support of isreal, when the picture actually showed the suffering of palestinian kids. See the hypocrisy?

The names of the people who signed may surprise you. The likes of mark hamill, chris pine, jon bernthal.

I used to be on star wars stan twitter and it would make the community's entire day when mark hamill was active on twitter. I will never see him the same way and i shouldnt.

Anyway, once again this should NOT take away the focus on the injustice that is carried out on the people in palestine. In fact it should make you think about what's really important. Especially people in fandoms. It's time people stop mouth watering over idiots with platforms just because they are well-known.

#palestine #isreal #fandom #multifandom #star wars #movies #tv shows #disney #mcu #music #art #poetry #news #trending #books #percy jackson

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fancy-a-dance-brigadier · 8 months

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🌿how does creating make you feel? and 💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

🌿how does creating make you feel?

I answered this question here!

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

Ok you are going to regret asking this because there’s a Star Wars fic I’m working on at the moment that has been living rent free in my brain for several months now, and given the opportunity I will yell about it in great detail to anyone who asks. Only @nebulouscoffee can attest to how insane I am about this WIP (and shout out to them for helping me flesh out this AU, and for coming up with so many great ideas for it!!! Bugs bunny *our* self-indulgent Star Wars AU etc etc)

Basically, it’s a fic/fic series that’s set in an AU where Padmé is force sensitive and Anakin isn’t, and I’m planning on retelling the entire story of the Star Wars based on that premise (well, the first six movies + The Clone Wars, at least. But I am eyeing the sequel trilogy like a vulture let me tell you because I’m desperate to give those films the AU treatment). It also ends up as a role swap for Luke and Leia as well, with Leia being raised on Tatooine and Luke on Alderaan (Leia gets to be a Jedi too, basically). But other than those role swap changes, I’m also going to address a bunch of things I wish the films had explored more/done better. So, rather than writing paragraph after paragraph elaborating on these changes, I will now present you with a bullet point list of “Things about the Jedi Padmé AU that make Fancy go insane”

Excessive Padmé character analysis

Explorations of the ethical issues of Clone rights (feat. A Clone OC that I’m incredibly attached to, his name is Tatao and I’m love him)

Said Clone OC is GNC af and is kind of punk rock about it

Slavery on Tatooine is kind of a much bigger deal

Maybe Naboo’s political system is kind of messed up??? Did you ever think about that George?????

Padmé’s handmaidens are important now!!! Because my favourite hobby is plucking female characters with no lines out of sci-fi properties and giving them ✨Depth✨

The destruction of Alderaan has much more weight than in the films

Han Solo cringefail compilation

Anakin still has no father, he just has two lesbian mums now (one of whom is trans 🏳️‍⚧️)

Obi-Wan actually facing the consequences of his actions for once

Luke dressing like David Bowie, Prince, Freddy Mercury, Elton John, and all the members of ABBA combined. Think disco Mark Hamill on German television

Explorations of whether the Jedi Order is actually a corrupt organisation (spoiler alert, it kind of is)

Obi-Wan getting to raise chaotic bantha child Leia

Skysolo for real ☀️

Ahsoka getting to be the cool Aunty to the twins like she always deserved

Trauma and violence and blood and killing and darkness and torment and hatred and guilt and improvised surgery on your boyfriend

The power of a childhood lullaby is something that can be so crucial to saving the galaxy, actually

And, just for good measure, here’s a preview of the very first chapter (which I will put under a ‘read more’ because this post is long enough as it is):

She had first felt it long ago, in the dark, in the nighttime, when she had woken from a nightmare to the sense of a soothing energy coursing through the air and stroking her cheek and drying her infantile tears. Good - it was always supposed to be good, pleasant and oh so very helpful, to reach out and make itself known to the little girl who lived so lonely with only her ambitions to guide her. Secret, a lovely secret, all to herself. If she shared it, it might leave her, and so she hid it in her heart night after night and day after day, even as she felt it in her blood and her bones and in all the little cracks and crevices of her thoughts.

Everywhere. The feeling is everywhere. And it is yours to treasure.

There were people out there in this wide world who shared her secret, or so she learned as she grew. The stories said that they were brave and strong and kind, good people with good powers and she could share her secret with them if she wished. So many times she had been tempted, to call upon the knights with their flashing swords and words of wisdom, to seek them out from their hiding place. Hiding place.

People suffered. People passed away. People rotted. People wept. So where were those knights with their flashing swords and their words of wisdom and their beautiful little secret now?

Nowhere. They will not come to aid you. Aid yourself, you do not need them.

Secret. A good secret. To keep it or not to keep it - yes, she would hide it. She learned that if she shared her secret the stagnant knights would find her, and now nothing could be worse than being drawn into their web of passivity. Yes, she would hide it. Keep it to herself. Grow her power inside of herself, practice and practice when no one was around to see her, in all the dark places that nobody would think to look.

Elsewhere. Find your power elsewhere. With me, my dear, plant the wretched seed and let it grow.

Someday soon, a beloved voice will call her name, and her secret will destroy the love and the life in him and return him to dust. Someday soon, a shattered heart will cry out vengeance and use her undead name as a battle cry for his own death wish. Someday soon, a girl of the sands will see the history inside her eyes and resurrect her withered and atrophied compassion.

All that would come to pass would be hers to create. But as that little girl settled back into sleep with a secret to keep her safe, all of it was a dream to her.

#ask game #Star Wars #fancyfics #Jedi Padmé au

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 1 year

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Is It Really That Bad?

There are very few bad movies quite as legendary as this one. I’ve been sitting on this one for a while, because boy did I need some time to process what I saw. And what better day to finally drop this review than on May the 4th, 2023, a year where good Star Wars content is few and far between.

Still, even with how bad the franchise can get these days, we need to be grateful it even survived this special to get to the point where there were any good films at all. Something as negatively received as this was, to the point that it has never aired again after its initial broadcast and only exists via bootlegs, is the sort of thing that completely tanks a franchise that was just getting off the ground. All they had to go off of was A New Hope back then; Empire Strikes Back was still a ways off, so literally all there was was the original film and this.

Nobody involved with the franchise has ever had anything nice to say about it. George Lucas has stressed his lack of involvement, Carrie Fisher said she had a special copy to put on to make guests leave parties, Mark Hamill has said he’s never sat through the whole thing, Harrison Ford has said he has never seen it, and Anthony Daniels called it a turd in his autobiography. The official website even has little kind things to say about it, with the only praise being for the Boba Fett animated segment (which pretty much everyone agrees is the highlight of the thing). And outside people who have worked on the franchise, you’d be hard pressed to find anyone willing to defend this film. Internet critics like Doug Walker and JonTron have all gone for this film’s throat at one point or another, and even in nerdier circles the special is basically the butt of all sorts of jokes. It’s the one thing everyone can agree on when it comes to Star Wars, or so it seems anyway.

But really, looking back on this little holiday special, is it honestly so bad? Is this the television special equivalent of Order 66, or is there enough of the Star Wars magic to keep this from being utterly unwatchable?

THE GOOD

Yes, there is some good stuff here.

First off, there are the concepts the worldbuilding here has to offer. This was still when Star Wars was in its infancy as a franchise, so there was a lot more wiggle room, and so we get some really interesting concepts. The existence of a holiday like Life Day is pretty cool, and Chewie having a family he’s out fighting for gives his character a lot more depth (even if the characters themselves aren’t the most amazing thing ever). The Imperial occupation of Kashyyyk is touched upon slightly, and though not in an intelligent way it still gives a little bit of insight. Plus, as stupid as most of the diversions are, it’s kind of interesting to see the sort of media the residents of the galaxy far, far away like to watch.

This special also marks one of the earliest efforts of Stan Winston of all people, but I guess everyone has to start somewhere. The music isn’t the worst thing either, with a solid Jefferson Starship number and a fun little tune sung by Bea Arthur being the most notable, though at the very end you get to see a coked-out-of-her-mind Carrie Fisher singing a song along to the Star Wars theme music.

Then we have the animated segment, which is actually, genuinely good. I know, it’s shocking, but how can it not be when it introduced the world to everyone’s favorite jobber, Boba Fett? Here he rides a big dinosaur and also backstabs the heroes after seeming like a helpful guy, so he’s quite a bit cooler than he usually is outside of that one awesome fight scene in The Mandalorian.

Oh, there’s also a funny Stormtrooper who trips, falls over a railing, and dies. Complete with a Wilhelm Scream! You can always count on random mooks in Star Wars to be far more entertaining than anyone else.

THE BAD

Nerds can argue all day about whether Jar Jar or Rose Tico are the worst characters in Star Wars, but they’ll be wrong, because Chewie’s father Itchy is literally the worst of them all. Sure, his yeti-like design is kind of cool, but the dude watches softcore VR porn in the middle of the living room. That alone makes him more repulsive than even someone like Watto. There’s a fucking kid around, dude!

Then there’s Chef Gormaanda, the star chef of a cooking show Chewie’s wife watches. Gormaanda is entirely insufferable, and what’s more, is played by a man in drag looking like what appears to be blackface. It’s pretty clear, too, that the “it’s a man dressed like a woman!” is the sole joke of this segment, which doesn’t exactly endear it or the character to me.

And… Look. I get it. Early on in franchises, before you really establish what you’re going for, I think it’s fine to play around and see what ideas work and what don’t. Freddy’s Revenge is a great movie even if it’s an oddball in the series because it went in a different direction than the first film, for instance; it manages to feel fresher and more interesting than a lot of the later films. But the thing with that movie is that it doesn’t feel tonally out of place in the franchise. Sure it’s a lot more homoerotic than later films, but it’s still a supernatural slasher movie.

This, though? This is a goofy 70s variety show following up an epic science-fantasy space opera. I get wanting to try new things and experiment, but some weird ass space variety show is not exactly what I’d want to see Luke, Han, Leia, and the rest have to endure after watching the pulpy space opera goodness of A New Hope. Obviously this wasn’t meant to be an actual, canonical continuation of the story, but it boggles the mind why this is the first thing they’d try and jump into immediately after the first film. The franchise is lucky it even exists the way it does after this, because a lesser franchise just would not be able to recover from something like this, a special that just veers into completely baffling territory for no good reason.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

This special is definitely bad, but I think time has been far kinder to it than most movies.

Like this is undeniably stupid, it is an absurd idea to try and do a variety show in the Star Wars universe, and even back in a time before it became a supermassive franchise this should still have been regarded as a very poor decision. And yet, it happened, and there’s a sort of quaint, cozy 70s insanity to it that is undeniably charming. Maybe it’s boring, maybe it’s weird, maybe it’s horrendously stupid, but the fact it happened at all is just so genuinely funny it’s hard to muster genuine hatred for it.

And with how bad some of the later Star Wars films got, it’s easy to look at this and at least cut it a tiny bit of slack. Sure, it’s not good, but at least it is genuinely something unique and different and not trying to pass off bad writing as “subverting expectations” like The Last Jedi did. And it is honestly, genuinely a better film than The Rise of Skywalker. I’m dead serious. As stupid and terrible as this special is, there was more heart, soul, effort, care, and interesting ideas put into it than the big budget supposed grand finale of a franchise that has made more money than I can even imagine. It really says more about how bad The Rise of Skywalker is than anything, but this special needs to take its wins where it can get them.

There’s not really any way to fault someone for hating this, because it’s not good by any means, but there’s something fascinating about it that makes me unable to muster much hate for it despite it putting me to sleep a couple times. It’s a cultural milestone, a signifier of how big Star Wars was even way back in its earliest years, and its one of the most amusing jokes in any franchise ever. To this day it’s still the punchline of jokes and even manages to influence canon, with Life Day, Bea Arthur’s character, and Chewie’s family (sans Itchy, thank god) making the jump into the main continuity in spinoff media, with Life Day getting a notable name drop in The Mandalorian.

Frankly, its score on IMDB is perfect. It’s a bad special for sure, no argument there. But I’d still argue it is an important movie, an interesting movie, and a culturally significant movie. It’s “so bad it’s good” at its baddest and goodest, and it’s worth checking out just to see how far Star Wars has come.

Now my biggest hope is for the next film to have Poe come out and say “Somehow, Itchy has returned.” Let Itchy be the next big villain, Disney. No man who watches VR porn when his grandkid could wander by at any moment is a good guy.

#Is it really that bad #IIRTB #review #movie review #Star Wars #Star Wars Holiday Special

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