#oh my god i love lyra so fucking much

[burr-ell]

A Not-Necessarily-Exhaustive List of Good Moments from C1 1-27:

"I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I'm doing"

"We're here to right wrongs, and right lefts—" "And write comment cards"

Tiberius Kraghammer

Clarota

"We'll explain later. You're on the roof of Osama bin Laden's house"

"We'll be taking your weapons, your armor, and I believe your pride"

Percy making the first trick arrows for Vex after a shopkeep was a dick to her about arrows, which is canonically when she began to fall for him

Keyleth killing that one duergar from the TLOVM flashback

"I encourage violence"

Lady Kima being freed and then pulverizing the corpse of the duergar who'd been torturing her

Matt's fucked up body horror monsters

Scanlan taking a dump on a bed for the first time

Pike's crisis of faith when she slits a duergar's throat with her mace and her holy symbol breaks

When the limited T-shirt run went live and then sold out before Marisha could finish reading the announcement

Vax getting his foot burned off in lava

Scanlan the Kingslayer

"Can I use my Luck feat for this?" "You don't have any feet left"

Kima and Keyleth's argument (it was good, haters eat my shorts)

The origin of The Cube

"I'm Vax that's Vex ->" "I'm Vex that's Vax <-"

"Screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated!"

"He has three-quarters cover" "I ignore three-quarters cover :)" "...then fuckin' fire!"

"Some people have no sense of fucking honor!"

Travis's notes that just say "I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota"

Percy reacting to the Briarwoods being namedropped during a council meeting

Meeting Gilmore on-stream for the first time

The Belt of Dwarvenkind and Grog's obsessive attempts to grow a beard

Scanlan's blue-shit-scrying potion

Grog "Philip" Strongjaw vs Kern

Vax giving Minxie!Keyleth a belly rub

The hydra fight and the beef with the Slayer's Take

Episodes 18 and 19, in their entirety, but specifically:

Zahra and Vex's initial rivalry-turned-friendship-turned-"I have a crush on Zahra"

Lyra. She's just. so much. idk of what but she is it

"I'm wearing the pajamas with the buttflap and the buttflap is down. The buttflap is DOWN"

Scanlan introducing himself to Rimefang as Burt Reynolds and then Matt, in his scary dragon voice, calling him "Burt"

"I'm sorry, I'm a genius, I'm sorry! Oh, god I'm clever!"

Zahra killing Rimefang

Percy and Vex working together on a history check (it's important To Me)

Wil Wheaton rolling five Nat 1s. In one session

Keyleth and Vax posing as a married couple to get information

Kash insight-checking Thorbir, believing he has to be actively sabotaging them because no one could possibly be that bad at their job (he's not, he really is just that unlucky)

Wil, playing a dwarven fighter, finally rolling a nat 20...for an insight check

The magic carpet losing its enchantment in a pit of acid and Laura's scream of horror from offscreen

"Rakshasaaaaaaa!" -jazz hands-

Kashaw and Keyleth, which was thankfully reworked in TLOVM but was also hilarious

Vex exasperatedly kissing Grog, portrayed by Laura kissing a bewildered Travis

Tyriok the cartographer

Grog, the Vasselheim merchant, and the first and only time Vex started beef with a retailer

Keyleth recounting a vision she had of her own death

The Aramente trial in Pyrah and a cameo from Thordak

Travis getting a medal from a fan for losing to Kern and Matt making it canon

Grog fighting Kern again and winning

Keyleth getting arrested. For the second time in Vasselheim alone

The first appearance of the man. The myth. The Viktor

Kynan's first appearance and Vax's idea of "tough love"

Percy telling his backstory to the party and them immediately affirming their support for him ("You don't have to get involved in this" "Oh, we are SO involved" "You said you wanted 'em dead!") and Taliesin himself being moved to tears over this

Percy creating Diplomacy

Vax and Keyleth bear-sitting Trinket and braiding pink ribbons into his fur

Gilmore finding out Vax wants to see him and teleporting in from half a continent away

Vax shaving half of Grog's beard and Travis breaking a mechanical pencil with one hand

The feast, where Percy actually threatens the Briarwoods to their faces while disguised as Vax

Vax and the Briarwoods. "Gosh you guys are good-looking"

Vax nearly dying and having a vision of the two people he cares about most: Vex and Keyleth

Sylas jumping out the window and doing a perfect 3-point landing...while Delilah blows the athletics check and faceplants in the dirt

"SYLAS"

Vex scoring two crits on Delilah

Tiberius getting Feebleminded

Percy's attack on Desmond. My horrid little skrunkly <3

"YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT! DIE! DIE!" and Keyleth skipping her turn to just stare at Percy

Vox Moochina

Keyleth taking charge to save the ember roc

Keyleth conjuring a water elemental and Taliesin gargling water to translate her commands to it

And finally, the conversation between Keyleth and Percy where he privately confesses his own worries that he's going dark and that he's afraid of himself, and she expresses her concern for him and promises to be there for him

anyway c1 good

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Creepypasta As Hazbin Hotel

Ben: so what do you think

Jeff: I’m sorry what the fuck was that

Helen: we’re not filming a porn as a commercial

Puppeteer: why not

Nina: I like being forced

Jeff: keep that to yourself, Nina

Nina: Puppeteer sir

Puppeteer: call me dickmaster

Nina: Puppeteer.

Nina: it’s a solution to our biggest problem

Jeff: oh yeah herpes that’s a bitch

Nina: no our other biggest problem

Jeff: oh uh ugly people?

Jeff: math?

Jane: face my wrath

Jeff: who are you

Jane: I attacked you literally last week

Jeff: ?

Jane: we’ve done battle like twenty times

Jeff: well you must’ve been really bad at this

Liu: oh god, here I go, Jeff. just another fucking day with Jeff. hey hey hey fuck my life

Liu: looks like you have everything under control here

Lyra: of course I do, fuck you, now shoo, go take care of the piss baby

Liu: so you should…?

Jeff: do nothing?

Liu: great idea!!

Toby: you still pissed he almost beat you that time?

Jeff: uh fuck you

Toby: just saying

Sally: *gasp* the bad boy is back

Sally: never leave me again

Brian: we’re about 80% sure she’s harmless

Jeff: this is stupid

Lyra: this is not stupid!

Lyra: it’s just the GAMEEEEE

Lyra: Liu did it well so please try to do the same!

Jeff: I’m too sober for this

Jeff: I’m looking forward to stabbing the other residents

Slenderman: WHAT WHY

Slenderman: people are being nice because they want you to feel welcome

Jeff: *middle finger*

Liu: *middle finger*

Toby: *laughs evilly*

Nina: I have my doubts

Tim: Puppeteer’s minions are all over the place and I need you to get rid of them

Jeff: oh well in that case I’d be delighted to

Tim: humanely

Jeff: well that’s a lot less fun

Jeff: this time everyone has to catch him, okay? Unless you want me to hurt you

Jeff: I love to suck-

Tim: I swear to fuck if you say dicks

Jeff: popsicles, you sicko! Get your mind outta the gutter

Jeff: but you know, dicks too

Sally: sometimes I kill mother bugs in front of their children as a warning to others

Jeff: NINA?!

Clockwork: uh my name’s Clocky

Jeff: no one gives a shit

Jeff: call me fake one more time, motherfucker

Jeff: i dare you

Toby: fake

Jeff: fucking asshole- *hits his head on roof*

Toby: you done?

Liu: Lyra, sweetie, you uh you good?

Lyra: nope no not really!

Sally: maybe it’s time

Lazari: no

Sally: to ask

Lazari: don’t say it

Sally: your dad

Lazari: UGHHHHHH

Lyra: wait that’s it

Jeff: kill everyone?

Lyra: noooooo

EJ: what’s the hold up?

EJ: you got daddy issues?

Lulu: no we’ve just never been close

Lulu: after Mom died he never really wanted to see me

Lulu: he calls sometimes but only if he’s bored or needs me to do something

EJ: daddy issues

Brian: this is the first time she’s called you in years

Brian: this has to be perfect

Brian, picking up the phone: HEYYYY BITCH

Jeff: you may have heard of me from my radio broadcast

Tim: hmmm NOPE I guess that’s why Toby called it the Hazbin Hotel hahaha

Jeff: hahaha it was actually my idea

Tim: hahaha well it’s not very clever

Jeff: haha fuck you

Toby: OKAY

Brian: you like girls! so do I! We have so much in common

Clockwork: how you been?

Jeff: good! Until five minutes ago

Sadie: hey Sally what you been up to, girlie?

Sally: fighting bugs

Sadie: and how’s that going for you

Sally: they’re winning

Sally: but not for long

Lulu: how come he can have faith in me but my own father can’t?

Jeff: oooooh drama *pulls out popcorn*

Slenderman: hi

Slenderman: Slenderman

Slenderman: that’s my wall that you just blew up

Jeff: don’t fucking shush me bitch

Sadie: I need a break but hug a koala for me

Nina: omg can you imagine an actual KOALA

Jeff: anyway you sure fucked up didn’t you

Jeff: oh Lyra, you look an absolute mess

Sadie: I won’t hurt anyone for you

Jeff: who’s asking?!

Ben: Jeff and Toby just left like they were running away from their responsibilities

Ben: should we be alarmed?

Helen: are you fucking high?

Lulu: oh I’m just kidding

Lulu: I know you’re an ace in the hole

Ann: a what now?

Sally: I named all the stains on the carpet

Sally: that one’s Fred

Liu: look I can’t resist a fight okay

Liu, about Jeff: especially when I get to tag team with this fuckhead

Lyra: live tonight however you want because-

Toby: we’re all gonna die!

Dina: alright let’s give it up for not dying!

Dina: love not dying!

Dina: … drinks?

Jeff: I mean personally I’m excited it’s been a long time since I stabbed someone and really meant it you know what I mean

Lazari: I dub thee king roach

EJ: oh to understand your twisted little mind

Jeff: anyway I guess

Jeff: please don’t die tomorrow

Jeff: okay bye

Lyra: rip Jane’s cunt mouth out her ass

Jeff: would you just- chill, Lyra, fuck

Zero: they appear to have some kind of shield sir

Puppeteer: oh really? I didn’t see this giant fucking shield in front of me YOU DUMB BITCH NO SHIT

Jeff: I’m about to end your fucking life

Puppeteer: fuck you, you red piece of- too much fucking red- fuck shut up

Ben: hahaha poetry

Jeff: what just happened? Ffffuck

Toby: these fucking angels won’t stop coming

Jeff: HA

Toby: okay I walked right into that one

Jane: Before I take your life I’m going to tear that other eye out of your face

Clockwork: try it bitch

Jeff, to Jane: live

Jeff: live knowing that you only do because I let you

Slenderman: see you messed with my daughter so now I am going to FUCK you

Zalgo: …

Clockwork & Lyra: …

Jeff: 😏

LJ: well this just got interesting

Sally: it’s fuck you up, Dad

Slenderman: wait what did I say?

Liu: how’s mercy taste, you little bitch

Slenderman: take your little friends and GO HOME

Slenderman: please

Puppeteer: I’m The Puppeteer

Helen: and I’m-

Puppeteer: nobody gives a shit who you are, Helen

Zero: anyway congrats to Slenderman and his crew for not being totally fucking useless for once

[shesjustanothergeek]

His Love

|Aegon II Targaryen x FemReader|

Part Two

Master List of Series

Summary: Being a bastard born in the slums of Flea Bottom was all you were known for. Not the streak of white you had in your dark hair, the violet ring around your pupils, nor how your sharp tongue and skills with the blade resembled your father, Daemon Targaryen. You were just a bastard, nothing more, but to him, to Aegon Targaryen, you were everything. You were his love.

Author's Note: OMG, OMG, OMG, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE! I hope I tagged everyone that wanted it. I thought few people would be interested in this story, so THANK YOU.

Chapter Warnings: Literal fucking grooming like IDK what else there is.

A pounding on your bedroom door woke you. You didn't want to listen as they shouted at you to get up, curling further into your scratchy wool blankets.

Thump, thump, thump, it sounded again. You groaned, slinking off the bed and down the straw mattress, hugging yourself against the cold.

"Yes," you answered the door in a sing-song voice, leaning on the frame. Lyra quickly ran inside your room, shutting the door and locking it from the inside. You looked at her, puzzled, as she ran around, closing the curtains and going into your small wardrobe. "What are you doing?" You asked, following her with your eyes as she scurried like a mouse.

"We must hurry. It will not be long until he is here." Her hair was wild as she found your satchel, shoving as many clothes as she could into it.

You were on her heels in an instant. "What? Who is coming, Lyra?" You attempted to put your hand on her shoulder, but she brushed it off, your panic slowly beginning to match hers.

"Make haste, sweet girl. Get your shoes," she pointed at the two lumps of worn brown leather, throwing them when you didn't move.

"Lyra, please speak plainly. You are frightening me," you said softly, fiddling with your thumbs.

At the sound of your timid voice, Lyra finally stopped, turning to you quickly as she saw the expression on your face.

In her panic, she ignored you, forgetting what Madam had told her. Her words had been grave, trusting Lyra with the news that had reached them from the Red Keep. Lyra couldn't tell you the truth; that was made clear to her by Madam. It could make things so much worse, but seeing you standing there, with glassy eyes and a girlish demeanor, so kind and innocent, made her heart melt.

"We-we have to..."

Lyra couldn't do it. She couldn't lie to you. She trusted Madam's judgment to keep this as vague as possible, but she didn't have to speak face-to-face with you. Lyra wished she had been there instead.

"Oh Gods, please forgive me Madam," Lyra begged, cursing herself for what she was about to do, looking up at the ceiling. "Your father is coming. He means to take you away from us."

Your mouth fell open, a dreadful yet excited feeling churning in your stomach. "My father?" You asked, unsure if your sleepy ears deceived you.

"Yes, he is coming here. Please hurry." Lyra shoved as many items as she could fit into the bag, handing you a dark cloak as she unlocked the door and stepped into the hall.

Too much time had passed with the whisper game everyone connected to the royal family played. Lyra knew what it would mean for him to come here, but whether it was to kill you or have you be with your blood relatives, she did not know. Either outcome was not something she wanted you to experience.

You were frightened by Lyra's body language as she led you through the candle-lit hallways and down the creaky, wooden stairs. The only way to either exit was through the main floor or down into the cellar, and even then, you would still have to navigate through the working women and their customers. Your father had not made his appearance yet, and Lyra was relieved as you reached the last step that everything seemed normal.

You had never met him, your father, or anyone related to you by blood. Your mother had left her family long before you were conceived. A land that was far to the North, Madam had once told you, but other than that, you had yet to learn where they could be.

It made you feel guilty how flustered Lyra was as she yanked you to the back exit, that you were thrilled with the possibility of meeting a relative. You couldn't understand why they would be so scared of him. He stayed away this long without so much as a letter, so who was to say that he would show?

You were sure he only wanted to see you as a parent would for a child they hadn't known existed. If he genuinely cared about your mother enough to commit such actions with her, why hadn't he come sooner? Indeed he would have seen your mother pregnant. There was no way she could hide something like that forever. That part always needed clarification for you. Ma refused to give you the full details no matter how much you bugged her, and all of the other girls would glace quickly to the side and excuse themselves when you asked.

"Lyra, why is my father coming for me now, after all these years? Madam said he did not want me. Did Ma lie to me?" Lyra froze, looking around the dim hallway that led to the back door.

She was taken aback by how plainly you asked these tough questions, by how you would stare up at her with wide eyes, curiosity being the only emotion in them. You did not beat around the bush. Even at a young age, you knew what you wanted and would not dance around it. It was a trait few adults possessed, and Lyra admired it.

"No, no. The Madam would not lie to you," she brushed the strands of hair tussled by sleep as she stared her blue eyes into yours. "She would never lie to you, dearest." You narrowed your eyes at her before you spoke.

"Then why is she so afraid of him?"

Lyra made a noise in the back of her throat, unable to answer. She knew she couldn't tell you of your father's status. As a girl with an investigative mind, she realized that you would want to be with him if you found out. What child wouldn't?

"Lyra, I want to stay and meet him." You crossed your arms and planted your feet, stating your final position.

"No, you cannot," she protested quickly, grabbing your bicep and attempting to lead you to the exit. You stood firm, unwavering with your decision as she tugged again.

"Stop this foolishness! You do not wish to meet your father," she said, frustrated.

"Yes, I do!" You pulled your arm out of her grip, backing up and few paces. "I have been good, Auntie! I haven't asked Ma about my father in a very long time. I have never asked her to see him, or have attempted to run away to meet him!"

Your voice was more complex. You were pouring out all the questions you had kept bottled since you could think.

"Why has Ma not let me see him? Why has she kept me hidden since I was born?" Lyra pursed her thin lips in sympathy, feeling for you as she saw tears well in your exotic eyes. She knew of the apparent reasons Madam treated you the way she did, but Lyra could not speak for Madam, and no explanation was able to form.

"Tell me, Lyra, tell me," you shouted.

She began to plead with you, attempting to grab your hands as you kept retreating further and further away from her until both of you were no longer near the back exit. "I cannot speak for Madam, but you know she loves you. You know that everything she has ever done has solely been in your best interest, to protect you!"

"To protect me from what? My father? To save me from being with my own blood?" Your hands gestured wildly, tears now flowing freely down your plump cheeks.

"We are your blood, not your father!" Lyra clutched her chest, her voice and face mirroring yours. "We raised you! Ma raised you, not him! We taught you to walk, led you to speak, made you who you are now! We cleaned your scraped knees and picked the rocks out of your hands when you fell! I helped you through your first bleed! Does that mean nothing? Does the parent you have never met mean more to you that that?"

You hiccuped, rubbing vigorously at your snot and tear-covered skin as Lyra approached you as if you were a frightened animal. Perhaps you were; you certainly felt like one.

"Let her go then," Madam's voice startled the both of you as she entered the brothel. "Let our daughter leave us to be with the man who will never care for her. Not like we have." Lyra looked between you, eyes flickering rapidly as she tried to understand Madam's reasoning.

"Madam," Lyra protested weakly, "I do not understand..."

Ma had an expression on her face you had never seen directed at you before, only at patrons who had disrespected her in some way before she kicked them out.

The conflict raged within you. Your chest tightened, a string suffocating your heart until it could not beat. Your mind knew it wanted Madam, the woman who had loved you unconditionally, it seemed, up until this moment, but the young, selfish, reckless part of you wished for the man they kept you from. That could be something you and your father had in common. A trait that could be passed on even without his presence.

"Ma..." you said, voice soft and quiet like the kid you were.

"If it is your father you want, it is your father you will see."

The pain in your chest was replaced with fear as Ma walked towards you, grabbing you by the scalp. You yelped and shouted in protest, trying to break free without hurting yourself even more as she dragged you to the front door, stopping and positioning your face to hers.

"Lyra. The bag." She mentioned with her head as Lyra handed it to her, staring at it for a moment before shoving it into your torso and opening the door. You stumbled backward into the busy street. The loud sounds of people chattering with drunken slurs were the only thing you could hear. A woman you had never seen stood in Madam's place, years of love and memories all wiped from her mind.

"Do not return here. Be with your father."

You hated the streets of Flea Bottom. It was always crowded, and now, in the heat of high summer, that was the last thing you wanted. It wasn't so bad from your place under a fabric awning, but the stink of bodies, all perspiring from the morning work, was enough to make even the freshest milk curdle. The air shined with humidity and heat. The puddles from yesterday's storm were warm as you washed the sweat and tears from your face.

The market deflated slightly, everyone closing their stalls for a midday meal as you sauntered from your hiding spot. The merchants were distracted and careless, and you quickly grabbed whatever you wanted from their stocks, indulging your childish desires. Your satchel bulged with trinkets and an apple by the time you were satisfied. As the throng of people moved, you let yourself be swept by the current. Your nimble fingers darted in and out, always fleeting touches—a coin purse off a man's hip, a bracelet from a woman's wrist. The villagers were too busy shuffling along to notice a five-foot-something pickpocket next to them in the crowd.

A gang of children, little thieves in training, you thought, slinking through the people with sticky, searching fingers. They're too young to be good at it, and the City Watchmen is quick to intervene. The kids would be sent to the stocks, or worse, have their tiny fingers sliced off, ensuring they would never steal again. No mercies were given for the scum of Flea Bottom.

A sharp pull on the hood of your cloak nearly makes you tumble backward. You turn, grabbing at the hand and squeezing tight, so they won't be able to run away. Instead of a skinny kid, you find yourself staring at a smirking face.

"You." Prince Aegon chuckles, shaking off your grip.

"Me," he responds, still with that dumb smirk. You grimace, crossing your arms as you catch the way he eyes your body.

"What are you doing here, my Prince," you mock the title, bowing as an added effect. "I would expect you to be knee-deep in whores at Madam's place by now." Aegon chortled, clapping your shoulder as he urged you forward along with the crowd.

"That was my plan, little one, but I would rather keep your company." He linked his arm with yours, placing his large hand over your smaller one. You scoffed but didn't protest as he led you in the opposite direction of the brothel. "If I may ask," he started, stroking the top of your fist, "what are you doing here, so far away from your home? It is not safe for a girl like you to be wandering the streets alone. You might encounter some unsavory individuals."

"I can handle myself, your grace. I have fared these sandstone streets and alleyways my whole life. I did not get the luxury of feather tick mattresses to dream on and goblets of wine to warm my throat." Aegon bellowed at your dig into his pampered life, nearly doubling over as he held his stomach. His breath smelled like he hadn't drunk water in days, which was probably true.

His laughter continued as you walked hand in hand. It was a loud, boisterous noise that seemed to stretch on for far too long. The villagers began to give both of you looks. You shifted uncomfortably, attempting to remove your hand from Aegon's arm, but he refused to let go, gripping your fingers until they turned white, still snickering.

"I am glad my impoverished upbringing entertains you, my Prince," you snapped, yanking your arm with enough force to be free finally.

He loved how you spoke his title like poison in your wet, pink mouth. It brought satisfaction that no Dornish wine or untouched virgin pussy could get him. Your words flowed through his ears and into his bones, sinking into the marrow and becoming the blood he needed to survive.

Aegon tucked a strand of hair that came to lose from the braided style you wore, staring as he traced his grimy fingertip through the patterns, disarming you with gentleness. You were beautiful, enchantingly dark eyes with purple staring back at him with parted lips. A soft, curious expression is painted on your face.

"You speak so eloquently for a girl of your station," he confessed, not thinking as your beauty mesmerized him. Your gentle face soon morphed back into a hardened one, insulted at his comment.

"I also seem to have all my teeth and keep my legs closed too. There are many things a girl of my station can possess," you said harshly.

Aegon felt his cock thump in his trousers, begging to spring free and find its place between your lips. He wondered what words you would say then-- what sounds you would make. He wanted to snuff out that fire within you but also stoke it. See how wild he could make the inferno until every single land of the Seven Kingdoms was ashes. Only then would he dampen it, place the cover over the yellow-orange flames with simple touches or sweet words, and then start the process once more.

"I meant no offense, my lady," he apologized, holding his hands up in surrender. You didn't give the dignity of a response, only humming as you turned your eyes forward.

***

Judging by the position of the sun setting in the west of Kings Landing, it was around seven in the evening, curfew only three hours into the future. Without realizing it, Aegon had led you back to Ma's place, stopping at the front entrance littered with giggling women and slurring men.

You had wandered the road and alleyways to the Streets of Silk, the different shopping districts, and back to Flea Bottom, talking mindlessly about anything and everything that slipped past your lips. 

Your image of Prince Aegon in your head was completely different than how he was. He was still a drunk, pampered palace boy who got whatever he wanted when he wanted, but there was something else there, too, behind the thick veil of impulsiveness he used as a disguise. To your surprise, he was thoughtful, polite, and observant. It was easy for the drunken prince to be written off as someone that wouldn't remember what you said moments prior, too self-absorbed in his cup to care. But they were wrong. It was unwise for people to believe that, which is why he knew so much about the people in court.

He knew that Lady Tyrell had taken on a female lover. That Cregan Stark hated the Hightowers with a burning passion rivaling Daemon Targaryen himself and that Lord Beesbury was allergic to bees. (The irony was not lost on you as you laughed until tears were in your eyes.) Aegon's affinity for making people feel like he wasn't significant enough to keep their secrets from him was astounding. You would think that the eldest-born son of King Viserys would be seen as more important than that. You wondered what his reputation was inside the Red Keep. His being a drunk was not a reason to have loose lips around him.

"This is our final destination, my lady. I wouldn't want your mother to cut my ear off, she seemed moments from it when I first met you a fortnight ago." He could only recall the streak of white in your hair as you hugged yourself to Madam at the time. You giggled, remembering the rage on Ma's face when she saw him talking to you, then remembering that same rage was directed at you not too long ago. 

Aegon smiled down at you, his breath no longer stinking of alcohol but of the sweet citrus blend of juice he had bought for the both of you. The pain was still fresh in your mind, the happy memories of today overshadowed by it. He took notice and gently turned you to face him, your eyes downcast in shame. 

You were beginning to cry and did not want him to see it-- see you so weak. You may have portrayed yourself as a strong, independent, blossoming young woman who could take care of her own needs, and to a point, you were, but you were still a girl. You needed Ma.

You sniffled, trying to move away from Aegon, but he held you firm, gripping your chin with his thumb and pointer finger.

"What is wrong, little one?" He asked sweetly, only making the salty tears spill more. "My pretty girl, please speak to me. Is it because you do not want our fun to end," he jested, though still concerned.

"No," you mumbled softly, shaking your head as your saliva turned to globs in your mouth. It took everything inside him not to kiss you right there.

"Then tell me, so I can mend it." Aegon sounded so sure of himself that he almost convinced you. He was so kind to you that you believed he would do anything you asked. Perhaps you could ask him to run in there and demand Ma to take you back. You probably could.

"I made a mistake," you said before collapsing into his body, hands clutching at his brown tunic.

Aegon felt his heart skip a beat when your short arms wrapped around his torso; his reaction was delayed as he did the same for you. He wanted to do so many things to you. He wanted to carry you to his quarters in the Red Keep and bed you. He wanted to steal that precious maidenhood of yours, watch the same tears flowing under him, but he could not.

For the first time in years, Aegon Targaryen showed restraint.

His arms were crushing you, but you didn't care. You welcomed the physical pain, focusing on that rather than the emotional.

"Ma hates me," the words began to leak from your mouth before you realized it. "She-she told me never to come back because... because..." A sob ripped from your chest, and you pressed into Aegon further, so you could feel him squeeze you tighter.

"Why does she hate you?" He questioned into your hair, inhaling the sweet scent of your sweat.

"Because I am a terrible daughter! Because I am a horrible person! Because I want to know my father! I am the child of a whore and a deadbeat." The people lining the entrance began to turn their heads at the pair of you, seeing the white-haired prince holding a young girl crying. They knew what that meant and kept to themselves. "I have lost the only people in the world who care about me." You knew you sounded childish, but you were too upset to care.

"You are not a bad person or terrible daughter. I do not believe that at all. Your intelligence and beauty are far more superior than any woman or man at court." His comforting words made you feel slightly better, happy to hear the affirmations you desperately needed finally. "Our time together, though it has been brief, has been the happiest moments of my life, and I have attended a New Year celebration with the Dothraki," Aegon boasted as he pinched your arse. You squealed, swatting at him as you tried to get away, chuckling.

Aegen let go of you, his arms trembling from how hard he squeezed you as he looked into those beautiful eyes again. He was still in a lust-filled drunken haze when he met you. The memory of you from a fortnight ago was very muddy. The more minor details of your body were forgotten. Oh, how the purple in them reminded him of his own, and the white streak woven into your hair was similar to his.

Oh...

How had he not seen this sooner when it was staring at him right in the face? It finally made sense, the sudden arrival of his Uncle. Aegon had thought it weird for Daemon to arrive without Rhaenyra and the rest of them unannounced and even more strange that he wanted to speak with his mother and Larys Strong. But now, it all made sense why his mother had looked so interested in his drunk rambling one dinner. Daemon had sired a bastard, and that was you.

He smiled to himself. It explained why you had that fire, why Aegon felt so drawn to you. You had the blood of the dragon coursing through your veins.

"Do not laugh at me, Aegon. It is not funny." You push him away, embarrassed that you have let yourself become so exposed in front of him.

"I am not laughing at you, little one," he said kindly, "I just thought of something that might make this all better." You snorted in disbelief and rubbed the tears away.

"What could possibly make this better?" You questioned skeptically as he grinned. His sweet words at done a great deal to help, but the pain was so raw and fresh that you needed a distraction.

"Accompany me tonight, my fair maiden," Aegon bowed deeply at the waist, extending his palm out, "and you shall find out." 

Smut? NO! Only fluff! Don't worry, we'll get to the debauchery in the next part. ;)

You let out a shakey breath, almost laughing as you took his hand. He kissed your knuckles, brushing them with his thumb as he led you into the humid darkness.

Thank you for reading!

Master List of Series

Tagged peeps: @zeennnnnnn, @malfoytargaryen, @targaryencore, @justasmallbean, @alexandra-001, @buckysmainhxe, @omgsuperstarg, @sommornyte, @minttea07, @silverslive, @unclecrunkle

[kanekoii]

HELLO!! Back in your inbox once again :3

Could I please get some cuddling hcs of Kyo, Doppio and Wilson? (+maybe Ike and/or Sonny if it's oki)

(⁠づ⁠｡⁠◕⁠‿⁠‿⁠◕⁠｡⁠)⁠づ

lyra’s notes -> oh boy howdy i just woke up so get ready for the shenanigans that will ensue with this one

pairings -> kyo kaneko, doppio dropscythe, yu q. wilson, ike eveland, sonny brisko x gn! reader (separate)

genre -> headcanons, fluff so much fluff my god

song -> because (changbin, felix) - stray kids

warnings -> possibly ever so slightly suggestive?? i wouldn’t consider it to be but better safe than sorry, some strong language

KYO KANEKO •

boy absolutely loves cuddling with you! he really enjoys being behind you, resting his head on your shoulder while he holds your waist like a teddy bear. he would gladly spend the rest of his life cuddling with you like this, but he really likes seeing your face too! just that it’s his favorite thing to sit behind you with you leaning against his stomach and chest, legs tangled together, his head on your shoulder, holding you tightly. just don’t get caught doing that by the rest of iluna students because you will NEVER hear the end of it! kyo isn’t the most openly affectionate, but printer man cuddles like he means it cuz HE DOES!! every once in a while you’ll hear him mumbling that god he loves you so much and you’re perfect and that he just loves you so so fucking much! kyo will gladly fall asleep there, holding you like his personal plushie.

DOPPIO DROPSCYTHE •

doppi’s favorite way of cuddling is anything that has his arm around your shoulder, holding you close. it’s his favorite way of subtly and casually showing everyone at xsoliel institute of infinity that you were HIS. i don’t think he would have jealousy issues or anything like that, he just likes letting people know. even when not in public, he loves having an arm around you. couch cuddles are a must for this one!! doppio absolutely adores laying on the couch with your body between his long legs and laying your head on his chest. it’s the perfect position for headpats!! he loves resting one arm on your tummy while the other is gently petting your head and playing with your hair. sure doppio is loud and chaotic most times, but his softer moments are just amazing. if it was feasible to never get up, you simply wouldn’t. ever. his headpats are just amazing. sorry i’m biased i fucking love headpats to death.

YU Q. WILSON •

sorry if this is inaccurate, i don’t know too much about him. he’s a very sweet and innocent boy, so spooning is the absolute must for him. the cutest boy loves feeling like he’s protecting you, considering he probably has a lot of enemies from his days as a hitman. the feeling that he can protect you now that he’s a hero just makes him so happy. he just loves feeling as if he can protect you from the world itself, even if he can’t protect you from everything. he would love to hold you forever as your hero boyfriend. not like he’d probably ever admit that sometimes he enjoys being the one being held, but he does. a lot. hold the boy!! it will make him so so so happy!!

IKE EVELAND •

he’s one of my oshis so this is my ever so slightly suggestive one if you choose to interpret it that way. okay? okay let’s do this. he will absolutely LOVE when you straddle his lap and rest your head on his shoulder while he holds your waist tightly. it’s so cozy, and ike can’t deny that he is just so comfortable like this. especially just being cozy on cold days with you, soft music playing, just holding a book behind your back reading while you sleep on him. god he loves it so SO much. the feeling of holding you and feeling the weight of your body on his makes it feel like a weighted blanket. so comfy, so warm, so soft. he can’t help but fall asleep with you in his arms. he just loves you so so much, humming softly to you while you sleep.

SONNY BRISKO •

he just likes it when you lay on him and he gets to hold you. but he loves even more laying with his head on your chest. he just loves knowing you’re right there for him when his job is very dangerous. sometimes he doesn’t know if he’ll make it home to you at the end of the day, so just being able to be held by you some nights makes him very happy. falling asleep with his head on your chest listening to your gentle heartbeat, sonny couldn’t be happier really. he could listen to your heartbeat forever, just knowing that he made it home to you on a particularly dangerous day, listening to your heartbeat knowing you were right there made him oh so happy.

[ladysanza]

Jonsa - The Americans Au inspired

Right hand firm, she slowly stands the gun from the side table and points at the door. The clock-lamp says its only midnight but, in her mind, it could have been anytime at all. Between feeds, naps, changings and crying – God, so much crying – she doesn’t have a sense of time anymore, she just knows that she finally managed a quick shower and that she should probably get some sleep now, even though she knows that she won’t.

Not that it matters anymore.

There is someone inside her house.

Please don’t wake up, she begs internally as she slides the bassinet under the bed without taking her eyes from the damn door. She can hear the steps approaching, whoever it is it’s not even trying to be quiet. They must be in the very last flight of stairs now… and coming directly to the room. She puts her back to the wall right next to the entrance and looks at the handle slowly turning…

--------------------------------------------------------

After a day of sneaking around, trying not to get caught as he made sure those recorders were inside the office of the Secretary of Defense himself, the last place Jon expects to be attacked is inside his own home by his own wife. But as soon as he opened the bedroom’s door she had him face on the floor, knee on his neck and a gun to the back of his head.

“What the fuck?? Sansa, it’s me!” he tries to say while getting a tight grip on his hair.

She is breathing hard and not letting go of him.

“Sansa, breathe, it’s me” he asks calmly and then more softly “Let go of my head, love”. That seems to snap her out of it, and she relaxes her hand while slowly sliding her knee of to the side.

He winces and starts to turn on his back. She was not joking around. If he was anyone else, he would have a bullet making home in his skull right now.

“Jon?” she asks, and he can hear the tremble in her voice “No harm done” he says, taking the gun from her and reaching to put above the bed. “Come here” he takes her to lie above him, shushing her as she sobs on his neck.

He shouldn’t be surprised. He knows she is good in combat, has seen it firsthand a few times. But Sansa’s abilities have always fallen more on the realm of disguise, manipulation and perfect to a t strategic planning. She has half of this suburban neighborhood in love with her and if anyone asked, yes, the Snows are as normal as a young couple can be, with just the right amount of American pride and cynicism towards their government. Nothing to see.

“You told me you would be home late; how could I forget that?” she says once she is calmer.

“It’s ok, we are both tired.”

“I almost killed you, Jon! Trust me” and he can hear the desperation in her voice.

“oh, I trust you all right, but you didn’t” he says making her look in at him “you didn’t.’’

“How can you be so calm?” He sighs and the movement makes him aware of a throbbing on several different parts of him. He is going to take at least two Tylenols before going to sleep tonight. “We hardly live normal lives and the matter of fact is, we are tired, you even more so with Lyra all the time insi”- he pauses looking around – “Sansa, where is Lyra?” he asks starting to feel a panic bloom in his chest.

“Oh” she jumps from the floor and goes to the side of the bed “I put her under the bed.”

He goes close to her while she gently pulls the bassinet.

 “I can’t believe she didn’t wake up after all this.”

She really didn’t seem bothered at all, Jon noticed, while looking at his sleeping daughter. Every day he comes home and he is amazed anew when he looks at her. Not too long ago he didn’t even dare entertain the thoughts of having a family of his own. And now they have Lyra. The moonlight coming from the window makes her look like a little angel delivered to them straight from heaven.

“Sometimes when she is sleeping.” Sansa breaks the silence “I get scared that she isn’t breathing. So, I just stay up looking at her. Seeing if her chest is moving.”

He frowns.

He did not know that.

“After finishing this assignment today” he says pulling her to him “I don’t think we are going to be called for another task for some time. You will sleep more; I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Thank you” she says softly.

He kisses her shoulder “We are a team.”

“Perhaps you can start wearing a bell then.”

“Too soon” he says even though he chuckles.

“Jon” she turns in his arms, serious “I am so, so sorry.”

“I know Sans” he kisses her forehead and then her lips for good measure “I know.”

[yeehawbvby]

I'm taking up that offer to ramble because shfsbfgbgfj you 🤝🏻 me on adopting Dell omg. But honestly? I adore that whole family. The interaction between Nora and Holt when the party is confused about Dell's character's heritage and Holt's just like "whatever you say, honey"??? Yeah. Ack. Melted right there like that one piece of taffee you forgot in your pocket on a summer day and now your pants are a sticky mess from it,

I also am so goddamn delighted by the old npcs' dialogues, it's insane. I adore them. They are SO charming. Elsie and Terithia are my mothers now. When Terithia talked about Errol in his swimwear i was straight up giggling, thank you sgdhbfghj. I like to imagine that Elsie, Terithia, Juniper and Lyra get together occasionally to just spill some tea, y'know? Just girls being girls<3 Maybe December and/or Kimi could join in on too, if they are into that :3

(And speaking of them, i have read your tags 👁👁 i need to practice my pixel art anyways so i might just draw them if that's okay!🫶🏻)

YEAH the families are so sweet.. also the older couples being absolutely in love/seeing none of that "the ol ball and chain >:( " stuff is SO GOOD OH MY GOD.. I was kinda upset that we can't romance Hemlock at first bc holy shit he's handsome,,, but seeing how much of a wife guy he is changed my opinion SO fast.

Omg same like the old people rock in this?? Elsie is so fun especially, I love how much she's into romance and drama and whatever. She's a wine aunt 100% and i desperately need a girls night with her and the other ladies and ALSO holy fuck the tension between Juniper and Valen??? That absolutely has to be a topic at some point (when Juniper is absent, lest she poison us "by accident" with her next potion ujkrnegjknre)

Waaaahhhh of course it's ok omg, ty!! ;;w;; If you don't mind though I wanna at least draw Kimi before you get to her, the picrew I made is pretty close to what I imagined but it's not entirely there!! (I actually drew like a somewhat-chibi of her the other day but it's not very good so I'm embarrassed/reluctant to post iernkjgea)

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials Season 3 - Full Season Thoughts

When I say that I’ve been waiting for this not just for two years since S2 but also for 15-ish years since I read the book, I truly am not exaggerated, I just know that I’m going to be a MESS and bawling at the end of it.

Warning: not only for spoilers under the cut but also because I’m fangirling AND screaming a lot about this series so… yep! Be prepared!

Episode 1: The Enchanted Sleeper

I HAVE MISSED THIS SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH

AMBER SPYGLASS ADAPTATION HERE WE GO 10 YEAR OLD ME IS CRYING SCREAMING SHAKING THROWING UP

Will looking for Lyra 😭❤️

The fact that in her dream-state, the first thing Lyra asked for was Pan, and me knowing what’s coming??? Oh, this season will truly break my damn heart-

ROGER ROGER ROGER 😭😭😭😭

THE TITLE CREDITS CHANGED AND I SAW THE LAND OF THE DEAD AND HARPIES AND ALSO THE MULEFA ASDFGHJKL

DADDY ASRIEL BELACQUA IS BACK ASDFGHJKL

Stelmaria is so bloody beautiful, oh my god, Asriel truly has such a beautiful dæmon

THE GALLIVESPIANS ASDFGHJKL HOLY FUCK EVERYONE ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER

Am admittedly a little disappointed they’re not riding dragonflies or anything

ASRIEL IS WAGING HIS WAR IT’S HAPPENING

I’m so ridiculous, I fangirled seeing Ama because I was like “I REMEMBER HER FROM THE BOOK”

The BSL between Mrs Coulter and Ama omg I was not expecting that but I was literally captivated the entire time they were on-screen, 11/10 choice

Pan weakly asking Mrs Coulter to let them go 😭 also hi Kit Connor, I keep forgetting you’re the voice of Pan in this series

Why is Father Gomez… hot tho 💀

THE GAY ANGELS KISSED THIS IS GOD TIER FUCKING CONTENT GOD FUCKING BLEEEESSSSS

Baruch and Balthamos, yet another reason my heart is going to fucking shatter tonight

Ogunwe’s eldest daughter being “soulless” and Asriel explaining it by explaining his and Stelmaria’s bond and saying what happened to the girl is the same as cutting his dæmon/soul away 😭

Lyra managing to escape but she’s so weak that she didn’t get far and Marisa caught her 😔

The mother-daughter dynamic is so interesting in such a messed up way, like Marisa truly thinks what she’s doing is right and will protect Lyra but also her method of keeping her daughter safe is to drug her and keep her asleep in a cave/hideaway somewhere, truly unstable and unhealthy parenting techniques here

Ama saw her chloroforming Lyra oh my god 😦

IOREK LOOKING FOR LYRA OH MY GOD 😭 HE LOVES HER SO MUCH I LOVE ONE BEAR DAD AND HIS HUMAN DAUGHTER

Will really sliced Iorek’s helmet like it was butter, no wonder Iorek was like “nope I’m not fighting I can’t fight a knife that does that to my armour”

Not Father Gomez sniffing Mrs Coulter’s (?) dress 💀

Oh no no no not the spy fly things being sent after Mrs Coulter, Jesus H-

Marisa telling the monkey to leave her alone and he just doesn’t??? Like he wants to try and comfort her but doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t say anything but she knows what he’s thinking??? Their dynamic is so messed up, I love it

“Welcome to the Republic of Heaven, Commander” CHILLS LITERAL CHILLS

They ended the episode with an “in memory of” for Helen McCrory (the voice of Stelmaria in S1&2) and I nearly started bawling oh my god

Episode 2: The Break

“Nearly 400 years with Baruch must have mellowed me” - OH MY GOD T H E M

“We feel as one, though we are two” - THEY ARE SO…?!? THIS IS BEAUTIFUL ASDFGHJKL

“And you’ll find a way to protect the one you love” - 😭😭😭

SPYFLY?!

I know it’s been three years since the end of S1 aired and obviously the young actors grow fast, but damn is Roger’s voice deeper than when he died

“They’re hurting me” - NOOOOOOOOOO

“Just tell me where you are and I’ll find you!” “... The Land of the Dead” - FUCK ME

Lyra screaming for Roger like that, I feel so sick

Pan’s little ermine noises are so cute omg

“Where did you go? I... I couldn’t follow you there.” (Pan to Lyra) - NOT THE FORESHADOWING, JUST RUN ME THROUGH WITH A KNIFE AT THIS POINT, IT WOULD FUCKING HURT LESS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

QUEEN RUTA SKADI AAAAAAHHHHH

“It would take more than a little crash to put an end to the pair of us” - I swear to fucking god, if this is more foreshadowing-

(it’s been a few years since I read TAS, okay, give me a break if I’ve forgotten anything)

AAAHHHH MARY MALONE I MISSED YOU

Wait did she just walk into Ogunwe’s camp???

“Something happened here a few days ago and now they’re everywhere” - WHAT ARE??? IS IT THE BUZZING???

The way I tensed up seeing Marisa approach Ama jesus christ i do NOT trust that woman

Also Ama’s outfit reminded me of Lyra’s Jordan College outfit from the film, like the red pinafore and blue dress underneath I mean

ROKE??? AND HE MENTIONED LADY SALMAKIA AAAAHHHHHHH

“When is Lyra not in danger?” - LMFAO true though

“You dismiss Lyra too easily” - Exactly, thank you Stelmaria! Was not expecting her to come through for Lyra but I’m pleased!

“Eve was the Mother of Creation, Lyra is simply the creation of Marisa and I. She is not Eve, she’s a little girl” - OOF

“She must have some information they need or some skill we’ve overlooked.” “Other than being able to read the Alethiometer, she has very little, I’m afraid... other than a nose for trouble” - DAMN ALRIGHT CHILL ASRIEL

The way that Stelmaria snarled so angrily at him talking about Lyra like that oh my GOD

“What??? What would you like me to say?” “The truth.” - FUCK YEAH, Stelmaria, call out your human like that!

“There are angels above the camp” - OOH SHIT

“What are they doing?” “They’re fighting” - OH FUCK WAIT I THINK I REMEMBER THIS NO-

I AM NOT READY TO LOSE BARUCH YET NO NO NO NO FU-

“He’s leaving us” — NO FUCK OFF FUCK OFF I FUCKING CANT DO THIS TODAY-

“My Balthamos” - IM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS, NEVER, THIS IS TOO PAINFUL

HIS LAST WORD WAS “BALTHAMOS” I AM GOING TO SCREAM

Yes we got gay angels kissing but at what cOST 😭😭😭😭😭😭

BALTHAMOS FEELING IT WHEN BARUCH DIES ASDFGHJKL NO I CANNOT COPE, IM GONNA BE SICK, THIS IS SICK, PHILIP PULLMAN IM HIDING UNDER YOUR BED

“This is your fault… you forced me to come here! I wanted us to stay together, I wanted to go with him! They’ve killed him!” - literally STAB ME, it would hurt FAR less 😭

Father Gomez is so hot but he has a spider dæmon so it’s a hard no from me 🙈

“I once killed an innocent young boy in order to harness it (Dust)” - yeah, and we still haven’t FUCKIN forgiven you 

Not Asriel straight up torturing Alarbus in his Dust experimenting chamber :l though he DID kill Baruch so...

“You think you’re significant - He does not even know your name” - DAMN, what a sick burn

“We have a life in the resistance; we can read, write, learn... all those things are forbidden by the temple, especially for-” “Girls.” - oh damn. It’s obvious that this is a commentary on teachings by the church or whatever, especially how it used to be in the past. (My brain is tired so I can’t do full analysis, but I’m sure other people out there will do it better than me)

The girls wanting Mary to stay “to rest” and then asking her about why she’s looking for the girl while pouring her a drink... feels very ominous to me and I hope I’m wrong

(Spoiler alert: I was wrong)

The Magisterium straight up sending out a death squad to kill Lyra, Jesus Christ it’s almost hilarious how far gone they are that they can’t see why killing a teenage girl is wrong, like mother of sin or not, that is still a teenage girl

Will to Iorek: You attract too much attention - YOU DON’T SAY LMAO HE’S LITERALLY AN ARMOURED BEAR

Of course Balthamos knows sign language, that literally makes so much sense because he’s an angel so of course he’d know literally every language in history - and so of course he appears and translates because she can’t hear Will and he doesn’t sign. I love it

I know only a small amount of BSL but I felt so happy when I was able to read Balthamos signing “W-I-L-L” and Ama finger-signing her own name

“But no mother could possibly be this cruel.” “This mother would.” - DAAAAAAAMN

She’s growing sunroot, which is a waking medicine oh my gOD I love Ama, she is truly an icon in her own right even though she’s only in two episodes

Will smiling a little when he sees Lyra sleeping :’)

THE WAY I JUMPED AT MARISA’S VOICE OMG

“I always suspected that you were coming, but I didn’t think you’d be the first” - oh my god, she KNEW Will would come sooner or later, she knows how much he cares for Lyra

Her offering him tea and my first thought being “do NOT drink anything she gives you, do NOT do it”

“I’m keeping her here because I’m her mother, and I love her” - BITCH, you’re straight up drugging her, mother or not you are NOT showing your love in a healthy way

See, I get that she says she’s trying to keep Lyra safe because she knows the Magisterium want her dead, but like... drugging her? Keeping her there against her will? Ma’am, please-

“Because she hates me, Will, and if I woke her she’d run” - damn I’m not surprised, you’ve not exactly been the most loving of mothers at this point

“Wouldn’t your mother do the same for you? A child needs their mother. You understand that, Will. You need your mother” - oh NO, no, no, do NOT bring up Mrs Perry!!!

“And here’s the trick they never tell you: your mother needs you” - oh she’s a goddamn SNAKE

“You promise that you’re keeping her safe? That you’ll carry on keeping her safe?” - Will, nOOO do NOT leave her there

Oh, she nearly CRAPPED herself when he mentioned going to Asriel

“I have seen them together; where one goes, the other follows” - literally everyone else notices it, they’re really not subtle

“You would use your own daughter as a trap?” - yeah, no, that really doesn’t shock me at this point, the man has no fuckin morals anymore

Oh okay PHEW, Will actually has a plan and isn’t just blindly trusting Marisa, I’m resting a little easier now

“I’m counting my steps - we’ll return by them in another world” - OH SHIT HERE WE GO

Nah, that monkey is STILL giving me the chills, fucking hate that monkey so bad

“Your mind is muddled” - this episode has featured so much Stelmaria calling Asriel out, and that’s content I’m honestly living for

Marisa giving the monkey a massive rock and going “do your worst”... AND THEN SHE LOWERED HER HEAD AND HE SMACKED HER OVER THE HEAD WITH IT WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON I LITERALLY GASPED, like she clearly was telling him to do it but WHYYYYY???

Ama was so ready to go with Will and help him, we have to stan

So now Marisa looks battered and bruised...? I’m guessing she’s got some kind of plan here???

Ohhhh okay, I get her plan now: she looks all beaten up, she tells Gomez that Will has come and taken Lyra, it looks like Will has hurt her when he stole Lyra, Gomez will then hopefully leave thinking that she doesn’t still have Lyra... got it. Bit extreme to have your dæmon beat the shit out of you though

“You know, he had several hundred miles and the boundaries between worlds to cross, and yet... he still managed to get here before you. Bravo.” - LMFAO the shade

“... I am going to take Lyra now, Mrs Coulter” - Oh he didn’t fall for it in the slightest lmao he was like “well, at least you tried”

“you gave her the terrible punishment of her existence” is such a cruel line, jesus christ my dude

He’s not even trying to hide the fact that they want to murder her daughter omg

THE WINDOW IS FORMING ASDFGHJKL WILL IS COMING

Is she trying to distract Gomez so he doesn’t see Will and the knife?!? Is she actually doing something good???

Pan hopping into Will’s coat pocket omg that’s so cute I love it

THAT MONKEY IS FERAL

SHE WHACKED HIM OVER THE HEAD OH MY GOD

“Oh dear… perhaps you were right about that strength” - LMAO she’s so iconic

Not Marisa thinking she’s coming with him and Lyra 💀 I don’t know whether I feel sorry for her or not at this point

“Do you think it’s that easy to dispose of me? Is that what you do, Will? Was your mother as easily disposed of? Where did you leave her?” - ACTUALLY NAH YOU KNOW WHAT, I don’t feel sorry for her at all

His mind isn’t empty enough, she’s distracting him, he’s gonna break the knife 😭😭😭

THE KNIFE BROKE I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT DAMN

NOT HER THREATENING WILL WITH A GUN AND LYRA STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM TO PROTECT HIM

AH THE GALLIVESPIAN STINGING HER YESSSSS

The airships shooting at them and Iorek immediately jumping to defend them I’m-

“Iorek’s here?” - YES, HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH 😭

Ama jumping on that soldier and Will killing him before he can kill her I’m-

Asriel really arrived super late to the party, literally all the fighting is over and done with 💀

Ohhhh he’s seen Marisa 👀

Lyra taking Will’s hand as they lie together under the stars 😭❤️

Episode 3: The Intention Craft

I’m gonna try to keep my notes a little bit briefer because it took me two hours to watch a 57 minute episode on episode 2 :’( this is 8 hours worth of tv, it’s currently 00:20 am and we’ve only done two episodes so... yeah

NOT THE SHOT OF THE DÆMON (presumably Pan) ALONE ON A DOCK ASDFGHJKL; YALL THIS IS SICK

“Whatever happens... we’ll be together” - having read the book is both a blessing and a curse because on the one hand I’m somewhat able to prepare myself beforehand but on the other I KNOW how painful this is about to be and I can’t stand it

Oooh Marisa is Asriel’s prisoner :O

I think Asriel is enjoying having her as his prisoner a bit TOO much

The way he was right behind her, so close he was literally breathing on her neck as he tied her up... asdfghjkl;

“You could be standing here beside me, you know” - NOT THE MARISA/ASRIEL FEELS asdfghjkl

*taking her necklace in hand* “still wear this?” - ASDFGHJKL did he give that to her?? Or is it just one of those “oh you still wear this?” things???

“How could you and I have produced another Eve?” - no but same, I’m still wondering that lmfao

Not him calling Lyra a “wretched girl” and acting like it’s her fault Marisa turned up to whisk her away?!

Did they collar and chain up her monkey dæmon too??? Damn, he knows her well lmao

“You seem different.” “So do you.” “...you’re staring.” - oh my gOD

Not Salmakia spying on them :’) “I haven’t been hiding, you just haven’t been looking” LMAO

“How do I know you won’t cut into another world?” - umm because the knife’s broken??? It ain’t cutting shit right now

Ahhh she’s got her Alethiometer back! All is right with the world :3

“Since he’s died, I’ve done none of the things he’s asked me to do” - awww Will :(

Are we gonna meet the Mulefa this episode? The next one? :O

“Because Roger’s dead body was in a cage! In a cage that he made, he killed him!” - when she puts it like that, I’m not shocked she wants nothing to do with Asriel anymore, damn

“to work alongside a murderer?!” - 1) Will is a murderer? 2) The reason she trusted Will was because the Alethiometer told her he was a murderer?? But I get what she means

I don’t like when Will and Lyra argue :( 

“Lyra is pushing him to do things he doesn’t want to do.” “Oh, she is her mother’s daughter!” “You don’t trust her?” “She’s also mine.” - LMFAO TRUE ENOUGH

The device Asriel is using to communicate with Salmakia with is so cool omg

Father MacPhail really just sitting there in the dark all like “where have you gone??” I think he’s losing it a little

RED PANDA PAN AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

“You’re not always right, you know that?” - LMAO I love Lyra and Pan so much

“Your father was right about you - you are insufferable” - OOF DAMN

NOT THEM LEADING THE MONKEY ON A CHAIN LIKE A DOG 

At least they gave her new clothes I guess?

“I have been the worst mother in the world” - NO SHIT

“I didn’t think of her for years - and if I did, it was only to regret the embarrassment of her birth, the humiliation-” “Ridiculous! I have never understood why a child born of our love should be a humiliation!” “An illegitimate child and a murdered husband! That is quite something to carry on my back” -- Damn, this trial literally just became a couple’s counselling session for Marisa and Asriel??? And Asriel straight up admitting he loved her??? That they loved each other??? 

I will not ship them, I will NOT ship them, I WILL NOT-

“What if Iorek’s not there?” “He wouldn’t leave without me” - AND WE ALL KNOW IT ASDFGHJKL

“I know it wasn’t real, but once or twice I woke up and she was holding me... never been held before” - I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE-

IOREK AND LYRA REUNITING, HER HUGGING HIM IM SOBBING ACTUALLY I LOVE ONE GIRL AND ONE BEAR-

There’s something very special to me about Lyra sitting against Iorek’s flank, I can’t explain how soft it is

“Huh, still a Silvertongue” - asdfghjkl; he’s the one who gave her that name, it’s literally a title he bestowed on her, I love it :’)

Oh no, is Dr Cooper the one from Bolvanger??? Am I remembering correctly???

“Ah yes... you always were easily impressed by what he made” - DAMN I should NOT have cackled like I did

I can’t get over how charged the scenes between Asriel and Marisa are, my goodness-

“The inventor of hideous machines, capable of tearing children apart” - you’re one to talk, remember what you did to Roger????

“But along comes some foul mouthed arrogant little brat with dirt under her fingernails, and ohhh you can love her! You cluck and you settle your feathers over her like a mother hen-” - JESUS I’M-...?!?

The way he slammed her up against the intention craft after she spat at him, his hand on her face... I thought they were gonna kiss, holy SHIT

“Every hideous thing that you’ve done in his name... and it was all a lie” - DAMN, this episode is cutting so deep in all the best ways

It’s the way I know what’s going to happen, I know the knife is fixed, and yet I’m still nervous

“Find what matters!” *glances to Lyra* - oh they are NOT slick, they’re so obvious about this and I’m all for it

Imagine being Will and waking up to see a massive looming bear standing over you, omfg

YAY, the knife is fixed! (I knew it would be but still) I love that it looks more twisted, at least in my opinion

“You will always be a welcome visitor to Svalbard, and the same is true to you, Will. You are worthy of each other. Goodbye, Lyra Silvertongue - I hope we do meet again one day.” - NOT ME CRYING OVER AN ARMOURED BEAR’S RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL

Now why is Asriel showing the prisoner angel to Marisa, no good will come of this-?

“He’s beautiful.” “Everyone’s beautiful.” - this plus the way he keeps leaning and shit around her... at this point, everything Asriel has done this episode just straight up seems like him flirting with Marisa lmao

Eyyyy Balthamos is back!!!

Balthamos: so, you ready to go to Asriel yet? // Will: LOL sorry nope 

And just as soon as he was back, he went away again :O

“my mum’s always said if a friend needs help, you should give it” - Will Parry is his mother’s son through and through :’)

“That no doubt depends.” “On what?” “What Asriel does to him.” - oh god he’s gonna fucking kill that angel and cause more chaos, I can feel it

NOT ASRIEL AND MARISA TEAMING UP TO TORTURE THE ANGEL AND DESTROY HIM

Damn even Marisa looks kinda freaked out by Asriel torturing the fucking angel oh my god

LMAO SHE RAN SO FAST TO THE INTENTION CRAFT 

“Goodbye Asriel” should NOT have hit me so hard, oh my goodness

Yeah, no, I don’t think the knife can cut through to the land of the dead? Which makes sense all things considered

OH, the last world he could cut to before the land of the dead is the desert wasteland one from Lyra’s dreams! :O

Pan like “wait, this doesn’t feel safe” and backing away whimpering :’(

IS THE SAD THING GONNA HAPPEN NEXT EPISODE NO NO NO I CANT HANDLE IT

I thought we’d have until like episode 6 or something :’(

Episode 4: Lyra and Her Death

Judging from the title of this episode... FUCK I AM NOT READY WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE AT THIS POINT ALREADY

(If it’s not this episode then it’ll probably be the next one, either way I’m not READY)

Pan: *whimpering* // Lyra: Pan, stop that - :’(

“Then where are everyone’s dæmons?” “We’ve been in plenty of worlds without dæmons before, just get in my pocket and we’ll be fine.” “There are people here who should have dæmons but don’t.” - PAN IS GONNA MAKE ME SOB THIS EPISODE ASDFGHJKL

Not Marisa running straight back to the Magisterium jesus christ girl why

“Good. This is good.” - NO IT FUCKING ISN’T LYRA

“How long do we wait?” “Until you die, of course!” - well, I mean, it IS the land of the dead so...

I genuinely cannot tell what is going on in Gomez’s head at this point O_o he’s so creepy

“Somewhere out there is a tempter, a serpent, and I had to keep them from meeting” - but here’s the thing: the angel told Mary that she was to play the role of serpent, and she and Lyra have already met. But also, Marisa maybe thinks the serpent is Will, which adds a whole new layer to this whole situation???

“And the way he (Asriel) is fighting, Hugh... it’s is terrifying” - oh look, me and Marisa agree on something for once!

“Sometimes your devotion is hard to read” - lmao true

“You have my mind, my body, and my soul (...) He could never resist temptation, whereas you... your abstinence is magnificent” - exCUSE ME WHAT MARISA????

I deadass thought he was about to try and force himself on her then

“Remember what we did together... our lives are entwined” - UMMMM??? I’m not the only one reading into that in a slightly sexual way, right??

Who knew that the waiting area in the land of the dead was like your everyday doctor’s waiting room, complete with grating elevator music??

I both want to know what’s in the chest Gomez gave Marisa and I also do not want to know O_o “it’s how we found you, a kind gift”?

Is there some generational mother-daughter trauma theme going on here or...? Because she said “mother” and he said “she was only too happy to help”, and her response was “of course she was”?

Is Mary in the Mulefa world right now???

“Feels like we’re in a horror film.” “... Why would you want to watch a film that makes you feel horrible?” “...You make a good point.” “I like the film with the bear.” - ASDFGHJKL, THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION XD Also the reference back to S2 where they were watching Paddington omg

“Everyone has a Death. Goes everywhere with them, all their life long.” (Lyra: Isn’t that scary?) (Larissa(?): Not at all, dear. It’s natural) “From the moment you’re born... your Death comes into the world with you. And it’s your Death that takes you out. There’s love in that.” - Pan’s little face :’(

“When you’re ready, they say it’s beautiful. Your Death says, ‘easy now, easy child, you come along with me’. And you go with them, to the boat and the boatman.” - not me getting emotional over the talk of death, fuck me-

Pan retreating back into Lyra’s pocket sadly, like he KNOWS he won’t be allowed to go with them, I hate it here-

DAMN, Marisa slaying in that purple dress with heels, holy shit-

“If you won’t stop...” “You’ll do what, exactly?” *dramatic music stops* “... I’ll fetch support.” “Good. We all need support.” - BAHAHAHAAHAHA This show is a fucking comedy at times oh my god

The fact that any part of the dæmon guillotine design is being reused is horrendous, let alone as a fuckin BOMB

“*casually* Oh. They’re here for me.” - LMAO

“Wait: can we talk about this?” - Will asking the REAL questions here omg let’s not do this please

Lyra: You were on my side. // Pan:... I thought I was by your side.” - STOP RIGHT NOW FUCK YOU

Lyra’s Death is there?!?! And she’s just leaving Will?!

Pan running after Lyra as she walks with her Death, I’m about to sob

Not them taking a lock of Lyra’s hair from Marisa while she sleeps??? And her sending Roke after Gomez, she was pretending to be asleep asdfghjkl

They’re using the lock of Lyra’s hair that Marisa has kept to aim the bomb at Lyra?!? Jesus fucking Christ, and they still think they’re the good guys here???

“I’m always here. I’ve followed you your entire life. I am a special devoted friend who’s been beside you every moment of your life. Who knows you better than anyone. Who knows you better than even you know yourself.” - oh shit

Also Pan being like “that’s not true!”, like he’s so offended by her Death saying that when he’s right there

If I remember correctly, wasn’t Lyra’s Death male in the book? Or...?

“I don’t want to be exceptional. Maybe once I did. My parents... that’s all they care about. I just want to be good. I just want to help someone, and Roger needs me... and I wasn’t there the last time he needed me.” - oh my heart is hurting so bad right now because in S1E02 I’m pretty sure she said to Pan that no one ever thought they’d be exceptional etc, and also the fact she still feels guilt for Roger’s death :’(

I’ve spent 15 years trying to imagine what a mulefa looks like... and now finally I know! Oh my goodness?!?! And it brought Mary food?!?

“You take me into the BEST places, you know that?” - LMAO Will’s so funny when he wants to be

“What else is there left to do?” Oh, I don’t know, Doctor Cooper, maybe NOT make a fricking bomb??? Also eyyyy Roke stung her!

“Arrogance. Sheer arrogance. I underestimated them” - yeah, no kidding, Marisa

Oof Marisa’s on a damn warpath, she’s gonna destroy the Magisterium and I’m so here for it

“What if we don’t come back?” “Then we’ll have died doing something important” - I’m way too emotional for this episode, I’m already losing my mind and emotions and I know it’s just going to get worse and worse :’(

Marisa calling out MacPhail as a sinner oh this is delicious the tea is so delicious today

“You have no right here; you are a wanton woman who has always wanted what she didn’t have. Your husband was killed by your lover, the heretic Asriel, and your illegitimate child was abandoned until she became sin itself.” - OH DAMN

“You will address me as Father President or Your Grace” - damn, man is on a freaking power trip?!?!

“I’m sorry? This is where your loyalty lies? Not with that above? Not with truth but with power?” - Marisa is spilling ALL the truth today oh my lord she did not come to play around

“This is all you really are: an incoherent, emotional woman. Why should anyone trust you? You can barely string a sentence together” - OH YOU LIL BITCH I’M ABOUT TO THROW THESE HANDS

He took her locket?!? 

“And when we sever your dæmon, you will be the bullet to kill Lyra Belacqua and to save us all from sin” - on the one hand, isn’t it ironic that her own dæmon severing technology is about to be used on her? But on the other, this man is one cruel motherfucker and I’m raging right now, FUCK this dude

“Take her to the cells... and bring her dæmon to me” - nah man, I’m about to be sick, fuck these motherfuckers. Fucking MEN, AM I RIGHT

Oh no. Oh no no no we’re at the docks and Pan is whimpering already I’m not strong enough today for this-

“I’m sorry, one of your party is unsuitable for travel at this time” - NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-

“We have to follow the rules. A pain, but necessary. No passage. Not for him.” “But he is me.” “If you come, he must stay.” “I don’t think you understand, if we separate we die.” “But isn’t that what you want?” - I’m really about to be crying at 2:30am over Lyra and Pan again aren’t I????

Pan running away because he knows Lyra will follow and he thinks it will stop it from happening, my HEART

“No, that’s not right, I don’t leave part of myself behind, why should she?” “Yes, you do, absolutely, you do. It’s her misfortune - or luck - to be able to see and talk to the part she must leave. You will not know until you are in the water, and by that time fortunately - or unfortunately - it will be too late for you to do anything about it. But you must all leave that part of yourselves here.” - NO NO NO NO NO I’m just going to keep chanting it until it stops fUCK

“We’re gonna get on the boat. Don’t worry.” “Lyra, you’re not listening to him, he won’t let us.” - AND LYRA BRINGING PAN ON THE BOAT TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM :’(((( she even tries to pull the thing herself but she can’t, I’m siCK-

“We can’t separate... we can’t...” :( :( 

“I’ve taken millions across... none have come back.” “We will. You don’t know Lyra and you don’t know me, but we’ll find a way. Another way. So since we’re doing that, be kind, boatman. Let her take her dæmon.” - Will trying so hard to get them to take Pan, even brandishing the knife, but it’s not happening asdfghjkl

“How many ages do you think I’ve been ferrying people? Do you think if anything could hurt me, it wouldn’t have happened already? You think the people I carry come with me gladly?! No, they struggle, they cry, they bribe, they threaten, they fight! Nothing works!” - :(

The entirety of the Lyra and Pan exchange had me outloud sobbing, clutching my chest in pain, I’ve got to share it all with you...

Lyra: I don’t want you leave you here.

Pan: We can still turn around.

Lyra: But I can’t not do this.

Pan: You can, Lyra.

Lyra: What about Roger? And Sal? They never got a chance to grow up.

Pan: But it’s not Roger and Sal, is it? Roger’s dead, and Sal is gone! And it won’t be Lyra and Pan, you’re leave me here, alone! What will I do?

Lyra: But our dreams…

Pan: I didn’t have those dreams! They were your dreams, I didn’t even want to come here! This is your choice!

Lyra: But we’re together…

Pan: Not if you do this.

Lyra: Please… I can’t betray Roger. It’s my fault he’s dead and now he needs me.

Pan: I need you too! Why can’t you see that? … Where will I go?

Lyra: I’ll find you… okay? I will go to the Land of the Dead and I’ll come back, and I’ll find you. I’m not leaving you… ‘Kay? I’m not leaving you, not forever. Will and me will find a way out of here, and we’ll go to Asriel’s, somehow you’ve got to get there too, but I have to do this.

Pan:… Then you’ve made up your mind. You’ve chosen Roger over me.

Lyra: No, Pan… please don’t, don’t… please… there’s no other way. I’ve got to… I love you.

Pan:… Just… go.

The way Lyra turned her head to watch him, the way Pan came up to the very edge of the dock and started crying, the two of them watching each other as they drifted further and further apart, the soundtrack... I am a fucking MESS

“My heart...” 😭💔

Lyra’s pained screams oh my GOD and Will holding her I’m not OKAY

Episode 5: No Way Out

My heart is already broken from last episode, I don’t know how much worse I can feel at this point 😭

Oh good, we’re starting with mulefa hijinks! (Sort of)

Mary stopping and having a moment of “what am I doing?… following a talking elephant” 🤣

IT SKATING AROUND ON PODS ASDFGHJKL

Lyra and Will: *having literally the worst times of their lives* // Mary: *playing with the Mulefa and living her best life*

The Mulefa having their own language oh my god and the orange subtitles fading to the white English ones omg because she’s learning their language

Baby Mulefa 😭❤️

Oof we’re right back to pain 🤡

“What does it feel like, being this far away from him? From Pan?” “It’s like an iron hand is gripped around my heart and is yanking it out between my ribs.” “And it’s mental too, right? As if some private secret thing’s been dragged out into the open?” “…yeah.” — 😭

“You know, you always said I must have a dæmon and I never believed you… and now it feels like I’ve known her my whole life. Maybe she’s with Pan now.” - ASDFGHJKL KIRJAVA IS COMING IM-

“Wait. If my dæmon’s still at the jetty, can you give him a message?” “I can tell you now, he won’t be.” 😭😭😭😭

Oooh Land of the Dead here we go!

I’m still curious as to why exactly Marisa and the monkey can separate so far? Have they already been intercised or something? Like they can REALLY go far from each other 🤔

“They intend to sever you from your dæmon!” “… Good.” — EXCUSE ME MARISA???? She really hates the little thing doesn’t she, damn

“It’s not made of rock… it’s made of people’s things” - oh damn

Oh my gosh the dead 😭

“They don’t like it if we talk to each other.” “Who don’t?” - OH SHIT THE HARPIES

The little dead children talking about their dæmons 😭 “Mine was called Sandling. He used to think he’d be a bird, but I hoped he wouldn’t because I liked him all furry.” “My Kasta used to curl up in my hand and go to sleep.” “Mine was called Matapan” 😭😭

Not MacPhail going to touch the monkey but being interrupted by Father Gomez schooling him on how it’s forbidden 💀

HE JUST SLAPPED GOMEZ OMG

Nooo not her losing Will

NOT HER THINKING SHE SEES PAN NOOO ITS NOT REAL

“You left me on the jetty to die (…) I’ve always known deep down how selfish you are. You really believe you’re here for Roger - you already killed him. You came here for you, to assuage your guilt, to play the hero” - 😭😭😭😭 I know it’s not really Pan but still my heART

ROGER 😭💔

“I missed you. I’m so sorry, about everything. I should have let you go with the Gyptians and the kids… I shouldn’t have taken you to Asriel. If I’d have let you go, you wouldn’t be here, would you? You’d be…” “It wasn’t your fault. I wanted to go with you.” — 😭 my heart is a literal mess I’m blubbering

“Stop it! You think I want to go back to the real world? Like this?” - oh Roger…

Will not being able to cut a window out and it sounding like the knife is being grated over rock 😳

NOT THE HARPIES THIS IS NIGHTMARE FUEL IM-

“What kind of son abandons his own mother?” - SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-

“You have destroyed the lives of everyone you’ve ever cared for… you’ve come here for you, to feel special… if only Will had never met you” - I would very much like to go back to Jordan College and rooftop adventures now thanks-

“I thought about us, and everything we’ve been through… I didn’t let them get into my head” 😭❤️💔

Not Fra Pavel deducing that Mary is the serpent and she’s in another world, and now Gomez is going to go after her 💀

Oh damn, the imagery of the snake and Eve painting(?) in the background as Gomez prepares himself

I SAW A GLIMPSE OF AMBER IS IT- IS IT TIME FOR THE SPYGLASS

MARY IS MAKING THE SPYGLASS THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD COMING TOGETHER

Oh. My. God. The view through the lens of Dust… ‘Sraf’ is Dust… oh my god. This is beautiful. The colours are beautiful.

“The trees are dying.” “And so are we.” 😭

“What do you remember about Jordan? You remember it, don’t you?” “… Jordan’s gone.” - stop that right nOW

Not the flashback to the very first episode of them in the cellar drinking Tokay 😭

The light appearing as they remember Jordan College together, talking about the roof and the rook with the broken leg 😭❤️ and all the dead people coming to listen, I’m gonna start bawling all over again

Lyra and Will speaking to the crowd and promising to try to get them out of this horrible world, rallying them 😭

“What will happen to us if we leave?” “I don’t know.” “You don’t know? If I will or won’t be able to see my son again?” “We can’t know until it happens - I’m not gonna lie or pretend. But in here, it’s just thoughts; out there, real things matter.”

“When we were alive, they told us that when we died, we’d go to Heaven. That’s why so many of us gave our lives, and spent years in prayer and silence, and all the joy of life went to waste around us. I don’t care what happens to us when we leave - anything is better than this.” - damn, this series really said fuck religion and fuck the church making people spend their lives in servitude/repenting for sins they haven’t even done

Damn, the harpies are NOT happy

“Will you tell us some stories? So we can remember too? Real things.” Ohh no, no, I will not cry over this, I will not cry over Lyra and Roger talking about Jordan College-

“I won every time.” “No she didn’t, she cheated every time” - yep, sounds like Lyra to me

Lyra recounting how she made the omelette with the shells in for Will 🤣

Lyra talking about Iorek 😭❤️

I have absolutely no love for that blasted monkey but seeing him all sad in the cage as they’re about to be severed… definitely made me feel sad, can’t believe I feel sorry for him

It looks like Marisa’s been strapped to an electric chair, like she’s about to be executed, and the imagery of that is 👌🏻

“When we created this technology together, you believed you were doing the right thing - we all did. But we were wrong. It has to stop.” - Damn, you don’t say! Of course it was wrong to sever children, glad you see that finally-

“Do not explain my own technology to me.” - OOF

“You still have time to repent - let me give you your final blessing” - MAN DO NOT FUCKIN TOUCH HER YOU FREAK

“Keep your hands off me… there’s too much blood on them for that.” - DAMN, MARISA

Everyone listening to Lyra’s stories 😭❤️

“… But you felt safe with Mr Scoresby. He was the first grown up I ever trusted.” - STOP THAT RIGHT NOW IM ALREADY CRYING I DONT NEED TO CRY AGAIN

“I will come with you. We… We will come with you.” - YESSSS

HOLY FUCK THE HARPY DESIGN IS SICKENINGLY HORRIFYING DEAR GOD AND THE WAY IT WENT RIGHT UP TO LYRA’S FACE

“What’s your name? You must have one.” “… No-Name.” - Oh gosh I think I remember more of the book now hang on

LEE SCORESBY AHHHHHHHH

LEE AND LYRA HUGGING 😭❤️ MY HEART I CANNOT BEAR THIS

LYRA DIDNT KNOW LEE DIED 😭 and he thought she was dead but he was so relieved she wasn’t 😭

“You found the Knife Bearer - you beat the shaman to it. Lyra Silvertongue, just when I thought you couldn’t blow my little mind enough times” - 😭❤️ I missed Lee so much ASDFGHJKL

IS THAT METATRON??? ENOCH??? OH MY GODDDDD

“If she had only stayed with us, and given her life to the Authority as she once intended, she would now be on the path to the kingdom” - oh my god MacPhail shut the fuck UP

Come on rOKE HURRY UP AND SAVE HER

NOT THE INTERCISION MACHINE V2 AND THE MONKEY LOOKING SCARED

Dr Cooper having second thoughts omg

SHE STOPPED IT LAST MINUTE OH GOD THE GASP I LET OUT

“… I will not be a part of this (…) I will not hurt her.” - YES DOCTOR DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE

FATHER MACPHAIL STRAIGHT UP MURDERED DR COOPER HOLY SHIT-

The Church REALLY are not coming across well here

NO NOT ROKE LEAVE HIM ALONE

KILL HIM MARISA KILL THAT BASTARD RELIGIOUS MAN

OKAY BUT YES ALSO TURN OFF THE MACHINE PLEASE DESTROY IT IF YOU CAN I CANT BREATHE THIS IS TOO TENSE

FATHER MACPHAIL COMMITTING SUICIDE AND SACRIFICING HIMSELF HES FUCKING INSANE IM SORRY THE HATRED HE HAS FOR LYRA IS THAT STRONG???

Thank FUCK she stopped the machine last minute although I kinda wish MacPhail had died lmao

THE LIGHT HOLY CRAP-

“You think Dust can make you Gods… let use see how you fare without it.” - OH SHIT OH SHIT

THE MACHINE SEVERED MACPHAIL AND HIS DAEMON AND SHE DISAPPEARED

NOOOOO NOT THE BOMB NOT THE BOMB TELL ME THAT AINT THE BOMB-

I know she’s not dead, I’ve read the book, plus there’s still 3 episodes left, I’m still freaking out though

Episode 6: The Abyss

Three more episodes and then it’s all over 😭 I don’t know if I’m ready for it to be honest

“In the beginning, Man was given the gift of Dust. It ignited his mind and freed his will. But that free will has corrupted mankind. Dust shall be drawn into eternal darkness once more… That which was given shall be taken away.” - oh my gOD what a narration to start an episode Jesus Christ (pardon the pun)

Marisa dragging herself across the floor to get to Lyra’s hair???

Please tell me Roke isn’t dead 😭 (spoiler: he is)

Marisa going to Fra Pavel with the hair and asking him to consult the Alethiometer on whether or not Lyra survived 😭

I still get chills at the opening theme, ngl, like we’re three whole series in and I’m STILL feeling chills seeing the opening credits

Eyyyy Serafina Pekkala!!!

The earth is literally crumbling apart and Asriel’s laughing 🫢

MARISA AND THE MONKEY ARE BACK AT ASRIEL’S

Stelmaria just being like “… It’s her”, as if there’s only one “her”

“She’s dead, Asriel. Lyra is dead.” - NOOOOOO OH NO NO NO

Nahh Asriel is so unbothered about Lyra being dead???

“Would you like me to tell you how your daughter died, or would you prefer to keep tinkering with your toys?” “If what you’re saying is true, I’m very sorry. But what I’m doing here is of the utmost importance - it’s going to change everything.” - DUDE YOUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD (or so it’s thought at the moment) HOW ARE YOU SO UNBOTHERED

Like we knew he was a shit father but YIKES

Marisa straight up telling Asriel it’s his fault their daughter is dead because he pissed off Metatron with his war crime, she disabled the bomb but the light triggered it… DAMN. Just… damn.

“You’ve taken my daughter from me… and I will never forgive you.” - ☹️😔

Roger trying to wake Lyra up 😭 thankfully she does wake but still-

Stelmaria telling Asriel he shouldn’t go down there, it’s reckless… Mate, listen to your fucking dæmon once in a while please, she got all the sense the two of you possess and you’ve got none I fear-

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO RUTA’S DÆMON HE DROPPED LIKE A STONE INTO THE ABYSS (the one where Asriel is)

“He can’t hear me…” “Stay with him” “I can’t stop him, the darkness is drawing him in…” - NO NO NO NO

Noooo SERGEI (her dæmon) DIED AND SO DID RUTA FUCK SAKE MAN

Lyra and Lee hugging again because they’re so happy to see each other okay 😭❤️ truly a better father to her than her own one ever was

Is there an abyss in each of the worlds? 🤔 because there’s one in the land of the dead too as well as where Asriel is

Will panicking because he’s scared he won’t be able to get these people out, and Lyra taking his face in her hands, “Look at me, look at me, look at me… it’s fine. We’re going to get out of here. It’s just… this chasm. I can feel it too. Look at me.” 😭

Lee whooping when Lyra jumped that chasm, we love a proud father!

Roger and Will disagreeing over who should go next and Lee just doing it instead 😂

“I am Serafina Pekkala, Queen of the Lake Enara clan, and I demand to know what happened to my sister” - YES WITCH QUEEN 👑

“It pains me to tell you both that what happened to Ruta was not death, but worse again. That abyss out there is a rupture in the multiverse, sucking all Dust deep down inside the void between the worlds. I bore witness to her dæmon Sergei falling inside… and it is my belief, that no being, flesh or Dust, will ever emerge from its darkness.” “… so there will be no peace for her? Part of her soul, forever falling… forever in limbo…” — NOPE, NO, NOOO 😭💔 poor Ruta I hate it here

(Turning to Asriel) “… You did this.” “No.” “Your arrogance, PLAYING WITH FORCES YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT OF!” - SHIT SHES RIGHT THOUGH

Sorry, what the FUCK are those things beneath them with the glowing eyes???

“We’ve seen worse. Do you remember when we freed the kids from Bolvanger? And then the three of us and Iorek squashed into Lee’s balloon and just flew away?” - lmao bless

“Iorek’s this armoured bear-.” “I know who he is, I’ve met him.” - damn, there’s some tension here between Roger and Will? Or is it just me?

“Can’t imagine him (Iorek) in a balloon though” - LMFAO

“It wasn’t just any balloon… it was a real beauty” - DAMN RIGHT IT WAS LEE

Is Will a little jealous of Lyra and Roger walking together and reminiscing or…???

“Hey, did I ever tell you about the crazy shaman who made me a bacon sandwich?” - OH MY GOD LEE 😂 (also it’s been a while since S2, but I think he’s talking about John Parry???)

Marisa really thinks she’s allowed to just leave 💀

Marisa telling Ogunwe that Lyra is dead, and him saying “Asriel didn’t tell me”, it hits hard because he has daughters of his own and I just know he’s probably confused because surely Asriel would have mentioned his own child dying but nOPE

Marisa yelling at the monkey to come and he just… doesn’t? He just walks away? Their dynamic is so interesting but in a messed up way

Will is looking for his father and he wants to be sure that his father will find his way out 😭

Lee realising that Will is the shaman’s son oh my GOD?!? And he thinks he has a way to summon him??? Oh I love Lee so much

“Are you sure about this?” - Stelmaria asking the only real questions

IOREK!!! 🐻‍❄️

IOREK STRAIGHT UP SMACKING ASRIEL DOWN WHEN HE APPROACHED LMFAO I LOVE HIM

Wait this is SVALBARD??? All the ice and snow has disappeared?!? And it’s all Asriel’s fault?!?

“My bears starve because you blew a hole in the sky!” - oh shit!

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t KILL YOU!” “LYRA SILVERTONGUE!” “Why do you speak to me of her?” “You renamed her. You loved her. Tell me of her.” “She is everything you are not.” “Perhaps I should have known her better. But she is gone, and if you kill me now she will never be avenged.” — this whole exchange 😭 Iorek loves Lyra so much, Asriel saying he should have known her better (no shit, sir)…

“You do not understand. Lyra went to the Land of the Dead.” “The Land of the…?” “Yes. But she walked in the line.” “How did she enter that place?” “With the knife.” “The knife is broken.” “I fixed it. She went after her friend, Roger.” “… the kitchen boy.” “Another reason why I should kill you!” - IOREK GETS IT ASDFGHJKL HE’S A BETTER FATHER THAN ASRIEL EVER WAS FUCK ASRIEL WE ONLY LOVE IOREK AND LEE AS FATHER FIGURES NOW

Asriel laughing because “my daughter is staging a prison break” 💀

NOOO NOT LYRA FALLING INTO THE ENDLESS ABYSS

THE HARPY SAVING LYRA FROM FALLING INTO THE ABYSS HOLY SHIT

Marisa telling Serafina about torturing that witch in detail, Jesus CHRIST, she literally wants Serafina to kill her at this point :( but Serafina sees right through it of course

“If you won’t do it out of anger… then please just do it out of mercy.” - 😭 now why am I sympathising with Marisa

“Love… makes us fragile in ways we cannot fathom.” “I didn’t love Lyra. I wasn’t able to” - SURE you didn’t love her, Marisa 🙄

“Even my own dæmon rejects me” - yeah no can’t say I blame him honestly

Serafina talking about how she lost her son that she had with Farder Coram 😭 and how Lyra gave her hope

“When I first heard that prophecy, it terrified me. (…) Because I was always taught to believe that Eve was guilty of something shameful.” - yep, religion will do that to you!

“All Eve did was dare to experience - it’s an act of bravery. Of great beauty. You were a monster, but look what experience did to you… what love did. It changed you.” - oh my god the religion criticism is on point today holy crap

Will hugging Lyra and asking if she’s okay 😭❤️

Lyra wanting to give the harpy a name to thank it 😭

“Names can’t just be given!” “Mine was… by a friend.” - exactly, Lyra!

“Gracious-Wings.” — … Interesting name, Lyra but okay

“You can’t take it back now!” - I have NO intention to and neither does Lyra 😳

The harpies kinda do make me sad because like… they don’t have names. They’re frightening to look at. They live in the land of the dead. They’re trapped just as much as the ghosts are, and feared for how they look which probably contributes to their behaviour. So Lyra showing some kindness must be a brand new experience for them.

“You cannot tell the story of my name if you do not get out.” “… You like stories, don’t you? True ones.” - ohhhhhhhhh I get it! Awww, so Gracious-Wings wants Lyra to escape, not only because she’s been listening to her stories but also because Lyra can then tell the living about Gracious-Wings and the truth that she’s not so scary/completely evil, so maybe people when they die will be less afraid to meet her? Idk

“True stories are nourishing. They feed us, we had no idea there was anything but lies and wickedness.” “If those who follow behind tell you everything they saw in the world, everything true… could you guide them here so they could be set free?” - god I forgot how deep and clever this whole section was in the book

“Do not lie to me.” “I won’t.” - for once, I actually do believe she’s telling the truth

“Do we have a deal? The prisoners’ safe passage in exchange for their stories?” - YESSS OMG

“It’s alright, they’re going to help us! Just tell them your stories - stories from your lives, and they’ll guide you up. Tell them stories.” - nahhh I’m not crying you are 😭

Asriel telling Marisa Lyra is still alive but she doesn’t believe him at first 😭

“It makes sense: the Authority cows us with the threat of heaven or hell but even that was a lie, it’s all purgatory.”

“Please… my heart won’t take it.” - this woman has gone through so much, she’s not a good person but damn she’s gone through a lot

“You said yourself, she’s extraordinary… to free a soul from the Land of the Dead” - well you’ve changed your fucking tune

“The witches prophecy… they believe two things about Lyra: that she is Eve, and she will defeat Death. (Smiling/Laughing) That’s what she’s doing. The prophecy is right. We must help her, Asriel.” - ASRIEL AND MARISA ACTUALLY WORKING TOGETHER FOR REAL THIS TIME?!? Like actual parents?!? Who’d have thought 😭

“There’s someone here to see you.” - LEE BROUGHT JOHN PARRY TO WILL IM CRYING ALL OVER AGAIN ARE YOU SERIOUS

“I hate fighting. I’m not who you want me to be.” “No… no, you’re so much more.” - AND THEN THE HUG 🥹😭

“All this time, I thought that when we eventually found each other… we could go back to Oxford together.” “I did too.” - 😭😭😭 they deserve so much better, I can’t-

“If we get out of this awful place…” “We won’t be going the same way.” 😭

I’m sorry, okay, this whole episode is just one big CRYFEST AT THIS POINT

Lyra saying she thought Roger was braver than her 😭

“I don’t even know if I can do anything. I’m just so tired, and my chest…” “Because you’re away from your dæmon. Separation across worlds weakens your bond, Will. She’s pining for you.” “How do you know?” “I guided her to Asriel’s republic. As soon as you release these ghosts, you must cut through and find her, Will.” - KIRJAVA IS COMING WE’RE GOING TO MEET KIRJAVA ASDFGHJKL

“Don’t try to live in a world that’s not your own. No matter how tempting it may seem. You and your dæmon… you won’t survive it.” “But you did.” “No. I felt it, like an ache, every day. Don’t make the same mistake that I did. You deserve a full life with your mother.” 😭❤️ but also foreshadowing what will happen at the end of the series I feel unwell-

“What will happen to you?” “The same that will happen to every soul trapped down here: I’ll be free. I’ll be connected again to every living thing, thanks to you.” - Damn, right in the feels 😭

John telling Will he’s so proud of him and them hugging 😭❤️💔

Serafina saying she’s gonna send Kaisa to search for Pan because she knows that Pan can’t enter the Land of the Dead and so he’ll still be there, I’m so ready!!

“If it is true, and Lyra is going to free the dead, she and Will will have achieved something remarkable… far beyond your rebellion. Lyra is your focus now. Do not fail her.” — YESSSSSSS come on Asriel and Marisa, be good parents for once

WILL DID IT HE CUT A WINDOW OUT OF THE LAND OF THE DEAD AHHHH, and it’s opened out onto a beautiful paradise ❤️

“My dad said you’ll be free. You’ll drift apart, but you’ll be out in the open - connected with everything to love.” - 😭❤️

ROGER SAYING HE’LL GO FIRST ASDFGHJKL AND LYRA SAYING SHE’LL MISS HIM SO MUCH

“You’ll be okay. I know you will. You’ve saved your best friend. When you go back to Jordan, go to the roof for me.” - AND THE FOREHEAD TOUCH 😭❤️

“I’m ready” 😭😭😭 GOODBYE ROGER

AND THEN LEE SCORESBY HUGGING HER, “No need for that, it’s okay” because she’s crying, “thank you”, tipping his hat to Will

“I’m gonna be with my Hester” - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW 😭❤️

I’m literally just full on sobbing at this point like my heart can’t take anymore at this point and there’s still TWO episodes left 😭

Marisa asking her monkey if she can sit with him?!? They’re so disconnected despite being the same person, I can’t-

“It hurts when we’re apart. I pretend that it doesn’t. That first time I sent you away… it was awful. I don’t know why I do it. At first I think it was curiosity… But now it’s become something else. A way to not feel what I can’t bear. I used to think that I was the strong one… but I was wrong. It was you. All along. I am so very sorry. Please… come back to me.” - NOOO WHY AM I HAVING EMOTIONS OVER MARISA AND THE DAMN DEMON GOLDEN MONKEY?!? AND THEM HOLDING HANDS?!?

Asriel and Marisa standing with their dæmons together… damn. Shit must be serious if the two of them are together on something

“The final rebellion has begun.” - OH SHIT HERE WE GOOOO

Episode 7: The Clouded Mountain

Two episodes left… 😬

Before we get into the episode, quick prediction: I feel like this episode is going to largely focus more on Asriel/Marisa and maybe bring that story to a close, and then the last one will be more Lyra/Will centric? Idk, we’ll see!

“We just have to keep Metatron’s forces away from the girl and the boy long enough for them to be reunited with their dæmons, to get to a safe world and… fall.” - oooooohhh

“How can you possibly know the nature of Metatron’s attack?” - LMFAO arguing like a married couple I see-

Okay, I was wrong, we are seeing Lyra and Will in this episode!

Will planning to get their dæmons himself and Lyra can wait in the nice world and he’ll meet her there 💀

“We’ve come this far and you still don’t understand: we’re in this together.” - 👏🏻

Every scene with Marisa and Asriel just seems like they’re flirting lmao

“I’ve given the girl nothing but at the very least I can buy her time” - 😭

“You’d do that for her?” “Not just her.” - THE WAY HE MOVED EVEN CLOSER TO HER ASDFGHJKL THEY ABOUT TO KISS OR SOMETHING

“Even if you get him to the abyss, you do understand it’s not just death down there? It’s eternal oblivia.” - DAMN, he’s committed I’ll give him that

“Your love for Lyra is your salvation and your downfall. When you think of her, I can read you as easily as a reflection in still water.” 😮

“Right, so we are doomed.” - Basically, yeah.

“Some of us will die today” - NOT A GREAT WAY TO OPEN AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH, ASRIEL 💀

Asriel is really on a mission to kill God in this series, that’s it summed up

“But thanks to my daughter, thanks to Lyra, we need no longer fear that fate! From today death is no longer an ending but a journey back into life!” - okay I take it back, his speech is pretty good

“Our children shall experience paradise but they will know it down here on the earth… today, we are free!” - YESSSSS 🙌🏻

OH SHIT is that Metatron’s soldiers/forces?!?

“I’m glad I said we didn’t have to win this fight” - LMAO

THE ANGEL KNEW LYRA AND WILL WERE CUTTING THROUGH AHHHH AND NOW ASRIEL’S ATTACKING LET’S GOOOO

It’s the way Lyra knew Pan and Will’s dæmon will be looking after each other 😭

“Metatron is releasing the dæmon eaters - he is turning all creatures against us” - AH HELL FUCKING NO

Are they the same as Spectres?!?

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO THIS IS MORE NIGHTMARE FUEL

YES MARISA DOING HER PART AND TRYING TO GET RID OF THEM BECAUSE SHE HAS CONTROL OVER THEM

“I’ve found Pantalaimon” - Oh my god YES give Pan back to me please

To be fair I don’t blame Will and Lyra for not immediately blindly trusting Ogunwe at this point, barely anyone is trustworthy in this series at this point

RED PANDA PAN

“They left us.” “I know. But they’ve come back for you.” - 😭❤️

AHHH KIRJAVA AND SHES A BEAUTIFUL CAT WHEN WE FIRST SEE HER AHHHHH

They can both still change but still AHHHHH SOON

“All I know is Asriel’s proud of you” - yeah, he just has a shit way of showing it

These noises are straight out a horror movie oh my GOD THE FUCK ARE THOSE THINGS THOSE GHAST-Y THINGS

Not Metatron (?) whispering into all of their heads asdfghjkl

Metatron telling Marisa she should join him and her and the monkey having this moment, “you know what to do” 😭 and he looks like he’s gonna follow her because he puts his paw on the bridge but he doesn’t 😭 can’t believe I’m having emotions have that goddamn demon monkey

ASRIEL CALLING FOR STELMARIA AND THEN MARISA INSIDE METATRON’S PALACE(?)/FORTRESS 😭

Can I just say that the visuals are STUNNING, oh my goodness I’m literally in awe of this imagery and the visuals it’s far better than 10 year old me imagined

Marisa saying that she loves Lyra and hates that she does 😭

Metatron taking on Asriel’s form so now we’ve got James McAvoy vs James McAvoy, truly Multiverse of Madness 💀

“No one cares for you.” “Marisa does.” - the way my jaw dropped, oh my

Not Asriel calling for Marisa 😭 no I will NOT ship them, I refuse-

“You care for her still? If only you knew the disdain in which she holds you. She’s giving you up.” “No… never… I love her.” - oh my god?!?!?

“She would never betray me…” “I can give you Asriel. He’s trying to protect her.” - NOOO DO NOT DO IT

HE KNEW SHE WAS CLOSE BY HE KNEW IT IM-

“Marisa, no…” - GIRL DO NOT DO IT I SWEAR

“Your dæmons are in the tower - cut them through to a safe world. I’ll find you wherever you are.” - I’m starting to remember how the book ends and my heart is hurting, it’s coming so soon…

“So… you did come.” - YES SHE DID PAN 😭 please forgive her

WILL SEEING KIRJAVA FOR THE FIRST TIME 😭❤️ and her going “… Will.” 🥹

“How could you bear it? Leaving me behind?” 😭

“We should be together. Please.” But the damage is done… if you’ve read TSC, you know 😭

What is that monkey doing? Is he helping them escape? HE PULLED THE LEVER ASDFGHJKL

“For Lyra.” 😭❤️

MARISA HELPING ASRIEL UP, ASRIEL AND MARISA GRAPPLING WITH METATRON TOGETHER, and then STELMARIA RUNNING AND JUMPING AND THEM ALL TUMBLING INTO THE ABYSS 😭😭😭💔💔💔 IT HAPPENED IT HAPPENED IVE BEEN WAITING YEARS-

The monkey and Lyra looking at each other 😭 and she knows, she knows her mother has helped them-

NOT STELMARIA FADING TO DUST 😭

LYRA AND THE MONKEY REACHING OUT FOR EACH OTHER AND HE STARTS FADING AWAY NO NO NO

NOT ME GETTING UPSET AND CRYING OVER THAT DAMN BASTARD GOBLIN POS MONKEY 😭😭😭

Lyra having to wipe her eyes 😭 same, me too-

I knew this episode would end the Asriel/Marisa/Metatron storyline, I just knew it

“Cloud’s gone. It’s all gone. The war’s over.” 🥺😭

I know we’ve still got an episode left but I’m already weeping because I’ve waited 15 years for this adaptation to come, to see this whole trilogy adapted right, and now it’s happened

Ogunwe seeing his daughters 🥹

“Can we go now? I wanna see Pan.” - YES 😭👏🏻

DAMN ONE EPISODE LEFT

Episode 8: The Botanic Garden

Just from the title alone I know this is going to cause me pain but let’s DO IT

Damn, they didn’t even do a recap on this episode (or at least my iPlayer didn’t?)

LAST TIME LETS GO WE DIE LIKE (WO)MEN

Lyra waking up and the first thing she asks for is Pan 🥺

Also Lyra going for a swim because she’s all dirty, don’t blame her quite frankly

“After everything we’ve been through and now we’re here… doesn’t seem real” - same

Lyra knows her mother is dead :(

“I should be relieved… there’s so many things I don’t understand about my parents (…) like why they weren’t honest with me. Why they did such horrible things. Why wasn’t she interested in me for 13 years and then suddenly she was… why did they abandon me?” 😭😭😭

Lyra saying she doesn’t hate Asriel but can’t forgive him, and “I have the strangest feeling he’s gone… which means I’m alone” 😭 and Will saying no she’s not ❤️

Will splashing her and then jumping in 😂

“What?” “Nothing… I’m just glad you washed” LMFAO

“She doesn’t look like she misses me. She seems fine.” - oh Pan :(

“Think how good it will be to be with them again. To be close.” - Kirjava ❤️

“What if it doesn’t feel the same? What if it never does?” “Lyra loves you. We’re finally in the same world, we’re safe here.” - 1) I’m sad because of TSC all over again and 2) I’m sad because I know how this ends

NOT FATHER GOMEZ I FORGOT ABOUT HIM ASDFGHJKL

No but where did the clean clothes come from???

“But there’s someone else we need to meet.” - IS IT MARY??

“I don’t feel torn apart, and I know he’s safe.” - 😭🥹

AHHH LYRA AND WILL SEEING THE MULEFA HERD AND BEING LIKE “they’re riding on wheels!”

I like that Will’s reaction to this new creature speaking a different language is just “… Hello :D”, I love him

MARY AND LYRA REUNION 😭❤️

Mary going “oh god look at you” because Lyra is so grown up 😭

Oh my gOD FATHER GOMEZ FUCK OFF ALREADY

I wanna squash his dæmon, I don’t care, I wanna squish it and murder it

Not him shooting and killing the local wildlife, fuck you dude

“They have less Sraf than you” - ahhh because they’re still teenagers and Mary is an adult, and Dust is what causes dæmons to settle/kids to become adults, I get it

“No pods, poor things” - XD

“I’ve been all over the place but I think this is my favourite world” - same, Lyra, same, it’s so peaceful

“How do you treat a tree with respect?” - quite easily I think, Will???

“We have the stupid idea as humans that we’re the pinnacle of evolution, but we’ve got so much wrong” — 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

“It’s the answer to the question to the question you asked me in Oxford - whether Dust is sin (…) it’s the spark that means we’re alive, it’s consciousness.” “So Dust isn’t sin… it’s just as good or bad as we are.” 👏🏻🥹

The trees dying is truly heartbreaking omg 😭💔

“It’s the Dust disappearing. It’s just flooding out of the world: thought, imagination, feeling all blowing away” 😭💔

There’s got to be a way of saving it, surely…? Like this world can’t just disappear??

“… So when Pan’s a wolverine, you know you’ve pissed her off” OMFG 💀🤣

“Like a nun-nun from our world?” Will omg 😅

“Mary, tell them stories” - YES PLEASE DO

Mary’s story oh my god

“And then I met someone… she wasn’t like the other academics” - LESBIAN MARY MALONE I REPEAT LESBIAN MARY MALONE

“Years ago when I was at school, those butterflies in the pit of my stomach, that ache to be close to someone… I think I had just been too afraid to recognise it before, but I didn’t want to forget it this time.” - AND THE SHOTS OF WILL AND LYRA AHHHHH

“I knew I couldn’t go back to the convent after that, I just couldn’t bear the idea of living without ever feeling that alive. And I thought… will anyone be better off if I just go back to the hotel and say my prayers, and promise to never fall into temptation again? And the answer came back… no. No one will. And I realised, there was no one there to reward me for being a good girl or no one there to punish me for being wicked. There was no one. And it was… it was liberating.” — the fact that Mary is Irish adds a whole other layer to it because of the whole “Irish Catholic guilt” thing, but also just in general… wow. Just wow.

“I wanted to experience love. (L: And did you?)… yeah. (W: Were you scared?) Oh my god, I was terrified. I was risking everything and I was sure I’d be rejected, but… it was worth it. It’s rare when it happens, when you feel that way you have to grab it. It’s funny, isn’t it? One little moment… all she did was offer me a sweet and it changed my life forever. For the first time I was doing something with all of my nature, not just a part of it.” — I CANNOT TAKE IT, THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

I can’t get over the looks between Lyra and Will, I knew it was happening obviously because of the books but stILL to actually see it onscreen???

“Where are you, Pan? There’s so many things I want to talk to you about.” 😭

Dear GOD DUDE FATHER GOMEZ GO AWAY IM SO DONE WITH YOU

Oh Mary totally knows something is going on between them even if they don’t yet

“What if she settles as something really bad, like… a mosquito or a slug or a fish?” “I heard of a man whose dæmon was a dolphin, but he’s a sailor so it’s fine” - I REMEMBER THAT STORY ABOUT THAT MAN FJDKDKDKD

Nooo not Gomez seeing them together I wanna punch him so bad-

“I don’t think anyone can understand… apart from you.” - oh my god Will 😭

“I think she’s… right… about a lot of things” - oh Will is NOT subtle in the slightest is he-

Lyra stepping closer, “yeah? What things?” ASDFGHJKL

“Dust… trees!” - smooth, Will, real fuckin smooth 🤣

Gomez was about to shoot Lyra while she was frolicking in the water but an Angel stopped him oh my god

ITS BALTHAMOS

“Desire is not sin. Love takes a million forms, each of them beautiful, each of them worthy. You who judge, just afraid.” 👏🏻

BALTHAMOS SQUASHED GOMEZ’S DÆMON, KILLED GOMEZ, AND THEN HE DIED TOO AND HIS LAST WORD WAS “BARUCH” 😭❤️

There’s something very innocent about these two teenagers clearly falling in love and sitting by the water in their underclothes and not realising why that would be seen as wrong because it’s so innocent and sweet and new 😭

WILL AND LYRA KISS I REPEAT WILL AND LYRA KISS I SCREAMED SO LOUD OH MY GOD

AND THE DUST SETTLING OVER THEM AND THE DUST RETURNING TO THE WORLD ASDFGHJKL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

“The prophecy has been fulfilled. The love of Eve shall heal the earth and all the world shall feel it. Nature will be restored, hope will spark in darkness as innocence turns to experience, all will be in harmony once more.” - OH MY GOD AND THE SHOTS OF THE DIFFERENT WORLDS AND PLACES ASDFGHJKL

Those shy little smiles after they finished kissing omg

“Do you think Pan knows? I think he guessed” - he probably did let’s be real here lmfao

“I want to show you Jordan… proper Oxford. We can go to yours too… go to the cinema again.” - oh these kids are so hopeful 😭🥺

Pan and Kirjava!!!

“One who has given the world such a gift deserves a name… Kirjava.” — AHHHHH

Pan: Kirjava… suits you — 😭👏🏻❤️

“Why aren’t you with Will and Lyra? Are you still punishing them for their betrayal? But you love them still, don’t you? And you are not severed.” “No… we’re still one. But it was so painful.” - 🥺🥺🥺

“They will need you for what is to come” - OH BOY HERE WE GO

Pan and Kirjava coming back to their humans 😭❤️

“Pan…” “You left me. I’ve had to travel so far to find you again.” “I’m so sorry. I’m so grateful. I didn’t want to. I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry. I missed you. I love you.” “Lyra…” AND THEN HE RUNS AND HUGS HER 😭

“I hoped you’d settle as a pine marten… suits you.” “I like it too.” 😭❤️

ALSO PAN SETTLED?!?!

“I’m… Kirjava.” WILL MEETING KIRJAVA PROPERLY

WILL AND LYRA TOUCHING EACH OTHER’S DÆMONS, THE MOST INTIMATE OF ACTS WHEN DONE CONSENSUALLY, I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS-

“Thanks to you, the multiverse is healing.” “I barely did anything.” “You showed two innocents what it was to dare, and by discovering their love, they have drawn Dust back into our worlds.” “Is that really all it took? Something so small and ordinary?” “Love is never small to those who discover it for the first time.” — brb, crying yet AGAIN over this series

“For centuries, Dust has been flowing out of the universe… what Lyra and Will have done has turned that tide. But their love alone is not enough to sustain it forever.” - oh no, no no no, it’s about to happen

“Every window that exists must be closed” - 😭😭😭 I know what’s coming and I hate it

“Each time the knife makes a cut, the flow of Dust increases and from the tear in the space between worlds some darkness is released, bring destruction across all of the worlds. It can take the form of many things: a plague, a spectre…” - 😭

But also does this mean that Covid was a result of the subtle knife??? 💀😳👀

“But if Will can’t use the knife, and if we can’t leave the windows open, then how will we…? We have to choose worlds, Will’s or mine?” “You can’t live in someone else’s world for long. Our dæmons wouldn’t survive. It means we can’t stay in the same world together.” - THERE IT IS 😭💔

“No! You can’t come here and just say that! After everything we’ve been through, it’s not fair! … it’s not fair…” 😭😭😭 they’ve literally just fallen in love and they have to separate already

Them walking away holding hands 😭

Oh nooo she’s already lost the ability to read the Alethiometer 😭😭😭

“It’s not broken, Lyra… you’ve changed. You’ve grown up.” “So… that’s it? I will never be able to read it again?” “The knowledge still exists but you’ll have to learn it, like those before you. You read it by Grace, and you can regain it by work.” “What’s the point? Why did we get here? Why did we go through everything we went through just to be forced apart?” — 😭

“I didn’t know it was possible to feel this bad.” “It won’t always feel like this.” “I don’t want to not feel like this about Lyra… I only want her.” - NOT WILL AND MARY’S COVERSATION IM TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER SO BAD

“You know all those stories that say the greatest love is the one you can’t live without? The one that you’re prepared to die for? That’s not right. That’s not what love is. I know it seems romantic to die for love but it’s much more romantic to live for it.” — 😭💔

“You will never lose what you have with Will, you have shaped each other forever. And I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you will have a future, Lyra” - and Lyra is just sitting there crying 😢 I hate it here-

“If humanity set their minds to discovery and their hearts to compassion, they may create enough Dust for a single opening to remain. But you already know where that window must be.” “The Land of the Dead.” “We can’t close that window, it’s the most important one.” — 😭💔

Will has to break the knife once they’re back in their own worlds 😭😭😭 and the angels will help close the windows

“There are fates even the most powerful have to submit to.” - 💔

“I love you. I’m not gonna stop loving you until the day I die.” “I love you.” - KILL ME. It would hurt FAR LESS

“We will come back here, when we’ve lived our lives, we’ll go through the Land of the Dead and we’ll tell Gracious-Wings everything we’ve done. We’ll find each other here. I’ll be drifting about until I find you.” “And I’ll be searching for you every moment. Every single moment.” “When we do find each other again… no one will be able to tear us apart. We’ll be joined so tightly… Every atom of me and every atom of you. When they use our atoms to make new lives, they’ll have to take two; one for you and one for me. We’ll be in the flowers and in the sunbeams… we’ll be joined so tight.” — okay no I’m full on sobbing and crying and shaking, I can’t cope with this, I can’t do anything but cry now

Lyra and Will embracing and holding each other, just clinging to each other on the floor as they cry 😭💔

“Don’t forget us, Mary. Keep telling stories.” - 😭💔 this whole episode is just a massive HEARTBREAK I CANNOT-

We’re back to Lyra’s Oxford 😭

NOT THE BENCH, NOT THE FUCKING BENCH NO I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE BENCH FUCK YOU PHILIP PULLMAN

“You know you could see your dæmon too, if you wanted” - oh my god yes?!?! I KNEW she met her dæmon at some point, I knew I didn’t imagine it!

“There you are.” - AHHH HER DÆMON IS A BIRD

“We can come back here every year. You in your world and me in mine. Midsummer’s Day. Midday.” “And I’ll be there. I’ll be there every year, my whole life.” “And if we do meet someone we like, we must be kind to them - we won’t compare them. We’ll come here, just for an hour… we can be together.” “Every year. I promise.” - ASDFGHJKL THIS HURTS MY HEART IT HURTS

“Just do it!” 😭😭😭 she wants him to just do it because she knows it’s going to happen and hanging around prolonging it is just so much more painful

Lyra and Mary hugging goodbye 😭 “I’ll never forget you” - STOP

“I’ll break the knife as soon as I’m through because I’ll know I’ll just want to come back to you.” - THIS POST IS JUST ME SOBBING NOW EXCUSE ME-

“What is it?” “I’m just trying to imagine what you’ll look like when you’re older.” “Handsome of course.” “Very.” - EXCUSE ME

Will stepping through the window and going to close it, stopping and them then kissing 😭 “Lyra.” “Will.” AND THEN THEY KISS AND HE CLOSES THE WINDOW FUUUUUCK-

Lyra: *crying* // Me: BITCH ME TOO

“Just think of her” (to break the knife) - and it’s a series of flashbacks of her and him throughout the whole series I feel SICK-

The snow falling on Svalbard and Iorek 😭

Lyra’s back at Jordan College 😭❤️ but so much has changed

Will going back to his mum 😭💔 and then them hugging as Kirjava watches with a little smile I’m-

ONE YEAR LATER?!?! ONE YEAR LATER I’M-

She’s dressed like a student I’m-

ARE THEY GOING TO THE GARDEN?!?

“We can come back here every year. You in your world, me in mine. We can be together. I’ll be there every year. My whole life. I promise.”

THE FADES AS THEY GET OLDER AND WITH EACH YEAR, THE SPLIT SCREEN OF THEM AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BENCH, THEM REACHING OUT TO HOLD EACH OTHER’S HANDS, WILL’S MISSING FINGERS

“Lyra.” Being the last line of this show, oh my GOD.

THE ENDING TITLE CARDS

“Will and Lyra continued to return to their bench at the same time, every year. They kept their promise to each other, going on to live full lives in their own worlds. Will became a medical student and later, a successful surgeon. Lyra went on to be educated at St Sophia’s College in Oxford, where she was taught how to once again read the Alethiometer… Which would come in useful one day, when Lyra and Pan would go on to have a further great adventure. But that’s another story…”

THE BOOK OF DUST/THE SECRET COMMONWEALTH ADAPTATION CONFIRMED?!? IS THAT WHATS GOING ON?!?

Okay… wow… okay.

I’ll admit that in S1, I had issues with the show as a longtime fan of the books; perhaps I was too busy comparing it to the movie or whatever else, but also I had complaints about the lack of dæmons on-screen and how that really hurt the first series as a result (eg. The Billy Costa scene). Thankfully in S2 and S3, that issue was resolved and not a problem in the slightest, which I’m so glad for. I feel like for me personally, Subtle Knife (S2) and Amber Spyglass (S3) had the benefit of not having been adapted for the screen before (unlike Northern Lights/S1), so it was able to stand up as it’s own adaptation easier and not necessarily have the movie looming over it (if that makes sense). Because while I agree the movie was not great and didn’t do justice to the books, it was still an expensive blockbuster with hype and big names attached.

Right now I really want to reread TAS - I reread TSK when S2 was airing so it feels right to reread TAS now, but I’m reading Outlander still so I’ll have to put it off a few days 😭 - and also I want to take the trip to the Botanical Garden in Oxford where Lyra and Will meet every year. I don’t know if other fans do that but it’s something I’ve wanted to do a while, and now I want to do it more than ever. I’ll have to remind myself closer to the Midsummer’s Day to do it!

Honestly, I’m so emotional over this whole series. Was it a perfect adaptation? No, no adaptation is 100% accurate or perfect, things get changed or cut for whatever reason. But it was beautifully done, and I’m so unbelievably happy that it was finally done justice. I truly don’t think I could have asked for a better adaptation of a series that has meant so much to me for fifteen whole years. I’m so grateful that I live in a time where this series has been given the love and attention it deserves, and I can only hope that people viewing the show first have gone on to read Philip Pullman’s books, that it’s inspired them to read those too.

The cast have been spectacular throughout, especially the main cast members: Dafne Keen, Ruth Wilson, James McAvoy, Amir Wilson… gosh, all of them. And then of course the voice cast have been amazing too, especially Kit Connor as Pantalaimon since that’s literally the main voice role throughout this whole series. I’m just so blown away at this point, I can barely type it.

[evangelinesecondacc]

Girl I will kiss your blessed hands if u post about that villain x reader thing u talked about a few days ago🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

So I’ve been thinking about this a lot, so here you go girl:

AN: this will be a bit spicy so buckle up and always remember English is not my first language so I am sorry for any mistakes

Lmk if u want more of them

And I am horrible at writing anything remotely spicy, so have mercy 😭

Omg this is cringing me out so much

Recommend to listen to: Shameless by Camilla Cabello

TW: light nsfw,cursing, blood, wounds

WC: 1107

Shameless

Don't speak, no, don't try It's been a secret for the longest time

Don't run (oh), no, don't hide Been running from it for the longest time

She is sitting on the ground, back pressed up against the wall, trying not to get his attention.

Yet her breath is hectic as she quickly rips off a piece of her shirt to stop her arm from bleeding.

A quiet whimper slips out of her mouth as she ties the piece of fabric tighter around her arm.

That motherfucker cut her in the arm.

A door flies open and loud footsteps are coming towards her direction.

Fuck.

He will kill her if he finds her.

“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU LYRA”, he yells breathlessly as he reloads his gun.

Show me you're shameless

Write it on my neck, why don't

уа?

Her breath quickens, but gladly the rooftop of the building is very windy and it looks like it will rain soon, so he won’t hear her.

For her unfortunate, she doesn’t know that the floor is covered in drops of blood, leading the villain towards her.

She manages to stand up and sneak to the other side of the wall, he isn’t in sight. Is that supposed to be something good or bad?

She doesn’t know.

“Looking for someone?”, a deep raspy voice sounds behind her that makes her hair stand.

Now that you have me, do you want me still?

Before she can react he grabs both of her arms and pins them on top of her head with one hand, while the other hand is holding a knife to her throat.

She tries to kick him, but he quickly parts her legs with his thigh.

Right now I'm shameless

Screamin' my lungs out for ya

Not afraid to face it

She is dead.

“Look at that pretty face...”, he mutteres and lifts her head by the chin with his knife.

“I wish I could say the same”, she manages to get out.

Write it on my neck why don’t ya?

He just smirks and presses the blade against her wound.

She hisses in pain and throws her head on his chest.

“Fuck..you.. Xanth”, she says through gritted teeth.

“I might actually do after I hide your body..”, he drops as it was the most casual thing.

Oh?

“Just count to three and it will be all over, don’t worry love..”, he whispers in her ear as he brushes the blade against her neck.

Nuh-uh, uh-uh, don't wanna do this now

Nuh-uh, uh-uh, don't wanna do this now

Nuh-uh, uh-uh, don't wanna do this now

Nuh-uh, uh-uh, don't wanna do this now

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING, SHE NEEDS TO LIVE, SHE PROMISES HER MOTHER, SHE SACRIFICED HERSELF FOR HER DAUGHTER, SHE NEEDS TO FINISH HER JOB.

“One..”, Xanth whispers as he gently applies pressure on her neck.

Lyra squirms underneath him and tries to get out of his grip. She needs to live.

“Two..,”, he continues and looks her in the eyes, that fucker.

Tears well in her eyes.

“Thr-“, a soft moan escapes Lyras lips as she starts to rub herself on his thigh, making him stop in his tracks.

Right now I’m shameless, screaming my lungs out for ya

Thank god, this stopped him.

He lets go of her hands and grabs her by the collar.

“I don’t fucking know what you are trying to do, but stop-“, he again gets cut of by Lyra wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close to her mouth, so he can hear her moans.

And I won’t erase it

Xanth stays frozen as she continues to rub herself against him and moan in his ear.

It starts raining heavily, making his brown hair seem more black.

Lyras wet clothes stick on her skin and make her white, well bloodstained white shirt, see through.

She starts to quicken her pace and her moan are getting louder and louder.

Fuck, she is actually enjoying this.

“Fuck, Xanth”, she moans as she is getting closer and closer, his mouth slightly opens as he watches what’s happening.

Fuck him, that’s hot.

He clenches his jaw and lets go of her collar and puts his left hand on her hip, as she continues to hump his thigh.

Her lips brush his neck, he lets out a soft grunt.

He enjoys it too. But he can’t get distracted, he applies more pressure on her neck and is about to slit her throat, but before he can finish this disaster she hides her face in the crook of his neck,moans his name and starts to kiss his neck all the way up to his lips, leaving a track of hikies.

Fuck it.

He drops the knife next to her feet and smashes his lips onto her. He seems hungry and puts both hands on her waist and tries to guide her, but before he gets full control, she pushes him down by the shoulders, so that he is sitting with his back facing the wall.

She quickly sits on his lap and wraps her legs around his waist.

“I hate you”, she whispers as she takes his face in her hands and kisses him passionately while grinding against him.

A low groan escapes his mouth, oh she got him, his face is flushed and filled with lust.

“I hate you”, he replies aroused and wraps his arms around her.

I need you more than I want to.

She quickly wraps her arms around his neck.

Fuck she is close, and fuck he is hard.

“Lyra”, he moans breathlessly and puts his hands on her ass, to pull her as close as possible.

They both escalate in a moaning mess, the rain soaking their clothes and washing away all the blood on their bodies.

“Fuck, Xanth”, Lyra moans loudly as she finishes.

Xanth comes right after her, buckling his hip and leaving them both breathlessly intertwined into each other.

She hides her red face in the crook of his neck and is breathing heavily.

“I am sorry”, she whispers.

“For wh-“, before he can finish his sentence Lyra rams the knife, that was lying next to her, into his side.

Xanth grunts and Lyra quickly stand up, her hair is sticking onto her neck and her is covered in hickies.

He looks up at her confused and in pain.

She glances at him for a last time, “don’t pull the knife out, you will bleed out”, she says in a broken voice, before she leaves him lying in his own puddle of blood, trying to properly take breaths.

I hope you survive Xanth.

[crystalelemental]

Lodge Adaman interactions are up, and...wow, do I have some opinions about it.

Starting with the Pokemon, I do think it's great that Grass is the standard type of the Diamond Clan given Hisuian Lilligant.  I also think it's cool that he's interested in Pokemon Behavior specifically.  Like it's the most interesting aspect to him, even beyond just raising Pokemon himself.  

Items make sense.  I think it's kinda neat that Z-Crystals are listed as points of interest.  Like yeah, these things are cool.  Also he likes Gym Badges.  Has no idea what the fuck a gym is, but the badges are neat.

Friends check out, kinda love that Irida's there, also find it really funny that no one else in Diamond Clan is his friend.  Oh god is this signaling who gets in?  Oh god are they gonna add Melli?  Putting that aside, he's slight friends with Dexio.  ...how?  Is Dexio even on the island?  Elio is also an interesting pick, I don't have enough of a handle on Elio as a character to have a sense for that dynamic.  Being friends with Lyra and Rosa feels like they just picked the grass starter protags, but I could definitely see Rosa getting along with him.  I also like how it's all or nothing.  Either he is absolute friends, or you're like a distant acquaintance, but at no point are you casually friends. Ride or die, bitch.

Hobbies.  My man can cook.  I also love that Time is a hobby.  Like yes, I enjoy the hobby of experiencing time.  Or maybe it's like contemplating time?  Either way, dork.  I do think it's hilarious that Space counts but only slightly, and that apparently the one modern attraction he latched on to was Ferris Wheels.  Get him and N to hang out.

Fashion is whatever, not much to say.

But now I start yellin.  Places.  Why is Lake Verity listed?  Diamond Clan is situated next to Valor, not Verity.  That seems like you just copied Dawn's answer to avoid needing to make a new one.  Also how does he actually know any of these specific places?  Ecruteak?  Melemele?  Fucking Pallet?  He's never been there!  Why would he care?  This feels weird to me. Ecruteak at least checks out because Lore, but I cannot imagine what Pallet Town is offering him.  This was like the one time to have very few listed places, but for some reason they still slapped a bunch in.  Also apparently he is never neutral about anything unless it's in a very specific location.

Others is packed with hilarity and frustration.  First, Impatience is listed as his favorite thing.  I kinda love the commitment to being this way.  Second, Ninjas rank high.  Guess he's a fan of Benny.  Fourth, Pearl Clan is moderate favoritism, which is just kinda comical.  Fifth, one of his Others interests is Fancy Lady.  Cultured.  But the big one.  The one that drives me up a goddamned wall.  Is Space-time distortion.  DeNA.  Listen.  You can't just keep slapping region specific stuff into characters' favorite things list like that.  The entire point of the distortions was that no one liked them and they caused endless problems, the fuck do you mean Adaman loves them?  I'm sorry, this one just feels like complete nonsense.

On the whole, pretty fun spread, but man I really wish they'd put just a little more thought into Lodge choices.  Lake Verity has borderline nothing to do with him, it should be Valor but they didn't want to add another selection so they reused Dawn's.  And the Space-Time Distortion being a favorite is just them over-emphasizing "They love stuff from their region and nothing else!"  It's frustrating.  Just once, I want a character that's like "Yeah, my region blows, but this other region is cool."  So long as it's not Kanto they're bigging up.

[incorrectcreepypastafam]

Question... What's an strangely specific for no good reason conversation you have had with friends or family that you think would fit some of the creepypastas?

I have so many of these dude.

I literally write down every funny conversation I have in a separate folder in my notes app

Liu: normalize shooting people when they upset you

Toby: I’m gonna Jeff the kill you

Jeff: I’m gonna Jeff the fuck your mom

Jeff, reading an Instagram post: the feminine urge to go completely insane

Toby: do it

Jeff, holding a block of cheese: I will beat you with this

Jeff, making fun of Liu: if you can’t naturally have good eyesight storebought is fine

Lyra: sometimes I wish I had stayed dead

*talking about weird nicknames*

Toby: how do you get Dick from Richard?

Jeff: ask him nicely

Jeff: I’m leaving *puts in earbuds*

Tim: Jeff, close the knife drawer

Jeff: but they’re colorful

Tim: you’re two different people

Liu: nah

Jeff: that’s never been true

Ben: are you sitting on your brother?

Jeff: it’s his fault

Toby: is that a challenge

Jeff: oh that’s a challenge alright

Liu: ITS NOT A CHALLENGE

Liu: be on your best behavior, both of you

Jeff: what have I ever done

Liu: you’re mean

Jeff: hey Geoff go off yourself

Sally: I will bite out your eyes

Toby: oh my god

Toby: calm down

Jeff: don’t say swear words, motherfucker

Jeff: I’m straight

Jeff: I love women

Liu: nice one, Jeff

Lyra: put your caulk away

Ben, playing Stardew Valley: Abigail?

Ben: she won’t talk to me

Jeff: Abigail won’t talk to you?

Jeff: bitch

Brian: you can’t trust shrimp

Brian: you turn your back and they start frying rice

Ben: I’m teaching you the makeup of the sun

Ben: red

Ben: orange

Jeff: you know what they say, third stab’s the charm

Jeff: Twilight vampires are stupid. Fuck those vampires

Toby: what am I thinking of

Lyra: I have no idea! :)

Liu: be good, tiny tot

Sally: I will not

Liu, pointing at Ben: don’t hang out with him!

Liu, pointing at Ben: you did this!

Tim: what do you do for the rest of the hours

Jeff: I sleep

Tim: I think at some point that much sleep just means depression

[princess-of-the-corner]

So, how do you think the other supporting characters' (who have pony counterparts that is) outfits on Equestria Girls were with Celestia, Luna, the CMC, Cadance, Trixie, Starlight Glimmer, Big Mac, Lyra, Bon Bon, DJ Pon 3, Maud Pie, Zephyr Breeze, Cranky Doodle, Snips, Snails, Shining Armor, Photo Finish, Bulk Biceps, Granny Smith, Miss Cheerilee, Octavia Melody, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Derpy?

Okay let's go down the line!

Celestia - I like this! It fits her tbh. I do laugh a little at how they tried to make the crown in her hair by giving her these little cowlicks.

Luna - I'm like 90% fine with Luna's outfit but I just. Why??? Why did they change her skin tone?? She's so light!! What happened??? Like I know some characters got a touch lighter compared to the pony's coats, but Luna's one of the ones who got it the worst

CMC - putting them together because honestly I like all their default outfits. I think maybe Applebloom's is a touch plain, but if that's my biggest criticism...

Cadence - Hers is.... alright. Like it looks good on her, but it's also a work uniform designed to match-but-stand-out from the Crystal Prep looks, so we don't see as much of Cadence herself in the design. I'm not sure what I'd put her in for something more casual.

Trixie - She is perfect 10/10. I love her main outfit, but I also 100% ADORE her look in Rainbow Rocks.

Starlight - I don't like this look. Don't get me wrong, it's a great outfit! Just not for Starlight. Like she's an ex-cult leader learning how to actually make friends why does she look like she's about to chill at a skatepark?

Big Mac - Almost perfect but why??? With the skintone again???? Like some people argue that they changed it to avoid a racism thing because 'red sk*n' is a slur against Native Americans but that's a stretch and doesn't make sense for many reasons.

Lyra - I do not like this one. The pink is a bit too clashing for a main color(I'd allow it for an accent/accessory but not the main shirt and boots) and wtf are those shorts?

Bon Bon - This one's cute! The white might be a touch too overwhelming, but it's still cute!

DJ Pon-3 - Perfection! I love her!

Maud - tbh they literally just took her pony counterpart's dress and it 100% vibes with her. Perfect no notes.

Zephyr - he looks absolutely awful but in a good way because it fits his character's vibes oh my GOD he's a loser. Like if you showed me him with no context, ofc my first guess would be 'couch-surfing stoner who eventually became a hairdresser'.

Cranky - his actual /face/ looks so weird because they're trying hard to bring in the donkey look, but his clothing choices match him well.

Snips - very generic but he looks like a typical kid of that age

Snails - a bit more personality compared to Snips, making him a touch more awkward, but still quite generic.

Shining Armor - no. Just. Idk. I feel like Cadence probably dressed him so he'd look nice for that meeting with Principal Cinch but she did it by raiding his dad's closet. I don't think he'd look too messy ofc, considering the Pony is a Guard Captain the Human is probably military or police, but what they gave him doesn't quite work and it shouldn't be something he wears casually.

Photo Finish - Like Maud, they just took her Pony Counterpart's dress and put it on a Human. So it 100% works and is designed to vibe with her.

Bulk - Absolutely on brand

Granny Smith - Her design itself is a bit off to me because her pony self is very thin but her human self is fat? It's weird. But the outfit itself is nice. Very 'granny' vibes.

Cheerilee - The design itself is weird because it's another one where they fucked with the colors, this time switching her hair and skintone? But the outfit is very cute and good to convey 'teacher' vibes. I think my biggest complaint (other than the color switch) is that there's not much to differentiate her as being a teacher instead of another student. (then again.... considering Big Mac is apparently still a student, maybe she is too?)

Octavia - See here's a character where 'nerd prep' works! Great design!

Diamond Tiara - yellow is not the right color for her. It's. It doesn't look right. It's too much. I like the outfit otherwise, just switch the yellow for maybe a blue or purple.

Silver Spoon - absolutely adorable no notes!

Derpy - Adorable. The colors seem a touch off, but it kinda vibes with her personality. Unfortunately she commits the penultimate sin of socks and sandals.

[kanekoii]

Hear me out what about yandere krisis 👁️👁️

lyra's notes -> oughh you got me there...y'all know i love writing yandere

pairing -> yandere! krisis x gn! reader

genre -> scenario, headcanons

song -> hang tight - cybertrash & vaeo

warnings -> yandere, blood, violence, strong language. this is a work of fiction and is not meant to glorify these relationship dynamics. if you are in a relationship like this, please speak to the authorities or a professional. i'm just some guy writing what people request.

yu q. wilson ->

he's so sweet, like he's made of bloodstained sugar. he was your best friend, but sometimes he acted strangely around you in a way you couldn't exactly understand. you'd never really understand what the hell was going on behind his sparkling blue eyes when he looked at you. sometimes he would have blood and god knows what else on his clothes, but he would just quickly brush off your concerned comments. it was strange really, the way people you didn't know too well who got just a little too close would disappear in a matter of days. your friends and family would slowly cut you off out of fear that they'd disappear too, mangled and left for dead in the basement of your best friend. of course, nobody actually knew he was the one behind this, slowly pushing you closer to his own self. he wanted you all to himself, and he would stop at absolutely NOTHING to achieve that goal. eventually he'd be the only one left, leaving you confessing your love for him. it was all worth it, he had realized. as long as he had you all to himself, he'd gladly do it again.

vantacrow bringer ->

he won't let anyone get too close in the first place. nope, not happening. much like the previous hc's i wrote for yan! piochan, he's extremely violent and completely open about it. he would pass it off as him just getting jealous and going too far by "accident". part of you would begin to wonder if it was an accident when he kept doing it, continuing to leave the mangled and disgusting bodies of the people close to you in the streets. he won't give a fuck if you see, it's better off that way anyway so you can see how much you mean to him. he'll worship you like a damn deity, believing all the disgusting people you considered friends and family don't deserve you at all. they're sickening really, trying to taint you. he's just doing his job and keeping you safe from their disgusting presence and tainting your beauty and grace, and he will NOT stand for that. you're his fucking deity for god's sake (haha im very funny) and he won't allow anyone to get close to you at risk of diluting your grace.

vezalius bandage ->

oh my god i've been waiting to write this one. he's so sweet it's almost unreal, always giving out freshly baked pastries to your friends and family. the only strange thing is that he won't let you have one. it's no surprise to him when your loved ones come to him a few days later complaining to the medic of sickness. let's just say his various scalpels were stained with blood that day. that's his way of doing things, making them all depend on him for healing then simply disposing of their bodies later. sometimes he'll simply add extra arsenic or cyanide to the things he gives out and let them go quietly. as long as he has you all to himself, it doesn't really matter. he's not all violence though, he'll also make your loved ones simply cut all contact with you. the day you made your relationship with him official, he would be willing to do it all a thousand times over just to feel your kiss again.

[clonerightsagenda]

His Dark Materials season 3 continues!

These were slightly less grueling although part of it might be that I had a task to work on while watching. I still get the sense that they dragged out every beat with a bunch of additional conversations whenever they could. Maybe that would be more welcome if I was watching this week by week as they were released rather than in a row.

Episode 5:

Oh thank god the mulefa do have their seedpod wheels, just not all the time.

I bet Mary wishes her degree was in botany, zoology, or anthropology, not theoretical physics.

We really speedrun the mulefa plotline in this. I wonder if it's difficult for show only people to follow? I naturally can fill in the gaps without thinking about it too much. The take that Eden is a savanna filled with rollerskating elephants remains bold.

They put Mrs. Coulter back into skirts... the monsters. Mrs. Coulter x pants is the real flagship of this tv show.

Will misgendered his daemon but then immediately switched to "her" when he talked about her being with Pan. Maybe the reminder that Pan is male tipped him off.

Going to the land of the dead and saying 'do you guys want to like. leave' remains a power move. Love a good harrowing of hell/afterlife breakout. The walls being piles of cast off objects from the living world is an interesting addition.

Roger: I've changed. My mom: I got a lot older. Me: It turns out if you die you can still go through puberty. It's part of our torture.

They cut the liar/Lyra bit with the harpies which is a shame. I guess they sort of used it earlier with the guard in the entry area of the land of the dead calling her a liar. Still all the harpies stuff is kind of out of order, with Gracious Wings saving her before they made their deal. Also instead of human heads the harpies look like they are part turtle.

Will and Lyra: languishing in hell Mary: hot girl summer

They sure dragged the bomb thing out. Honestly I don't hate it missing Lyra because the target locked too early, considering 'a ghost magically knows about the bomb and they defeat quantum entanglement by giving her a haircut' was kind of an ass pull. I also don't necessarily hate the rift being the angels retaliating, since it makes Metatron a more major player before his defeat and it makes the increasing loss of Dust a more direct part of the 'battle'. It does sort of undercut so much of the damage to the worlds being humans fucking shit up in the name of the Authority though. The angels in the book really don't do much, and I think that's by design. Also talking to you, Good Omens showrunners.

Episode 6:

Nooooooo not more voiceovers

Ruta lampshades it in the books but really how did Lord Asriel build his massive compound with foundries in like 2 months after crossing universes with nothing but the clothes on his back.

Asriel seeing a giant rift rip open between worlds: clearly this is about me

Mrs. Coulter: Our daughter is dead. Asriel: *read 4:16 pm*

Mrs. Coulter is like what they say about converts being the biggest zealots except she's converted to parenthood

Sergei got sucked into the rift? Ok so they racebent Ruta, made her clash with Serafina as the more violent/impulsive one, gave her the tension with Mrs. Coulter, and then killed her off even though she doesn't die (at least onscreen) in the books. Not a good look, guys!

Adding some Roger/Will active jealousy rather than Roger just sadly observing how close he and Lyra are now while Lyra doesn't even realize it. Suppose that's harder to do in video. But Will are you really gonna beef with a dead kid. Let him have this

Asriel and Iorek talking is show!original but I'll let it slide because it was satisfying to see someone finally hit Asriel

Will's dad finally (vaguely) drops the lore about the wrong world killing you, even if he didn't make it sound fatal in the same way. You guys couldn't have even had him dramatically coughing up a little blood in the last season? That's a classic

IDK why Will's dad got to explain what happens to ghosts while Lyra keeps saying she doesn't know. Babe you have the alethiometer

They didn't have Lee and Will's dad stick around to be a gay ghost warrior duo! I'm genuinely surprised considering how they went out of their way otherwise to give LMM more scenes.

Mrs. Coulter heart to heart with the golden monkey. Golden monkey sympathy arc has been THE most surprising adaptation change tbh. Not even joking about this

[gardens-of-may]

ENTRY THREE - chap. 50 to end

spoilers ahead

i don’t remember what happened 

yay

i know what happened tho

i’m not going to tell you 😋

suck it ha!

wakey wakey 

katharine hmm

A SCAVENGER HUNT?

WHAT

THEY KNOW EACH OTHER???

YES PEOPLE WHI ARE RACIST GO FUCK YOURSELF

AND MAKE JT HURT

WHAT

WXCUSE ME

WHAT THE HELL

saturday mornings

not a scavenger hunt then?

SYOP WITH GEB POV SWICTHSZ

i js realized both of the boys are dealing with their fathers

skye might be a pretty name but the human is actually vile

hmm

MY GID SAVANNAH

if gray hurts himself I WILL SUE

HAHAHA HIS HELLO THING IS THE CUTEST EVWR

IM GONNA CRY

CRY INTO MY BOWL OF INSATNT RAMBEN

ehehehe thomas thomas?

EW EW EW EW EW EWWWWW EUGH EW EW EW

EAHEHEJ SEE JDWB CSS EJR

WHAT THE FUCJ IS THAT BITVH SOING HERE

IM GOING TO FUCKING MILL HER

IT ACTUALLY THAT BITCH ISNT A PERSON

bitch…

YOU WILL BE FUCKING DEAD

AUGHHHH

THIS IS LIKE THE SECOND TIME GRAY HAS HAD A GUN PULLED ON HIM BECAUSE OF YOU

KYS

i bet IT sounds like a wet dog

but an ugly dog not a cute dog 

what the hell

LET ME JS EAT MY BROWNIES IN PEACE FOR GODS SAKE

no we no we NO. WE. 

AUGHHHH

bitch ☺️

KILL YOURSELT

she talks like she’s so wise and blah blah and respected but no

everyone HATES HER GUTS

DONT CALL HIM TAHT YOU ADRESS HIM AS FUCKING MR. HAWTHORNE OR SMTH STFU

you’re alone?

KILL YOURSELF THEN YOULL BE IN HELL WITH ALL THE OTHER DEMKNS

one

I DONT CARE NO ONE CARES

why I HATT YWOU

FUCK YOU

KILL YOURSELF

throw her in the pool 

DROWN HER

it’s a promise I WILL ENTER THIS FUCKING BOOK AND PUT YOU SIX FEET UNDER

WHAT HAPPENED

oh hi nash ☺️

AND XANDER AHENDKKW

anyway WHY IS GIGI UNCONSCIOUS???

oh

oh gigi 

awww ticklish gray 

i love her SO MUCH

FOUR CUPS OF COFFEE

MY GOD GIGI

omg it’s like me after the sols times one hundred 

I HATE POV SWITCHING 

I DONT CAREEEEE ABOUT JAMESON

well

anywayyyy

😕😕😕

please don’t get distracted, we know your girlfriend is hot but don’t

we’ll celebrate 

we know

le oop 

A HINT???

NOT A POV SWITCH

fhehsha HIS SISTERS 🥰🥰

NOT A FLASHBACK

eugh 

THROWING UP 🤮 

it’s her

em*ly 🤢🤢

ughhhhh

IM GONNA SCREAM WHERE IS MY AVERY

😳😳😳

NO???

EXCUSE ME

i don’t really think you do love them 

ARGH

WHACKING RN

oh. poor gray. 

LYRA 😍😍

she’s alive bro

OH MY GOD 

i’m back bitches

EWWWW

I CANNIT WITH BLOODY DIRT FINGERS

ARGHHH

bribing

my favorite 

GIGI 😭

no it’s alright girl i’d do the same 

oh. 

I LOVE ACACIA OMG

SHES WIDNERFUL

POOKIE

I FORGIT ABKR THE BUTCH

awww 🥰 

cookies 🍪 

😐😐😐

I CANNOT WITH THESE POV SWITCHES

UGH MORW BLOUD

AVERY WHAT THE FUCK

so no one won the game

JAHAHAH

oh ☹️

he’s really lonely 

IS IT THAT BITCH

EUGHHB EVEN WORDE ITS UGLY GUY

is he dead?

WHAT THE FUCK

HUH

EUGH

UGLY GUY WHAT

GIGI WHAT

btw maisie peters IS gigi

eve is a bitch who should be six feet under 

huh 

awww 🥰 

no now i’m crying 

ohhhhh shittyttttt

oh. 

AAYLDUXC

my heart HAS BEEN RIPPED OUT 

tears on my pillow 

THATS TERRIBLE MINDSET 

THAT FUCKING RXCUSE OF A GRANDFATHER MESSED THEM SO BAD

is zella alice?

she’s right. rich white boys het farrr in life 

oh

BRUH

LYRA 😍😍😍

BITCH WHAT DO YOU MEAN 

YOU PULLED A GUN ON HIM AND YOU EXPECT TO BE BESTIES

WHATTTTT

bitch jamie can’t even come

he needs to laugh

stop 💀

omg that would be fucking terrifying 

gigi and gray’s relationship means so much to me 

well i already knew that so hahaha

BITCHBBBHBBV

I HAVE NEVER HAGED SOMEONE MORE THAN THIS FUCKING BITCHASS IF A GIRL

why would you end a book like that?

now i am going to go chug some coffee and we are jumping straight into the grandest game 

the end. 

[auroragehenna]

AI-less Whumptober

Day 18 (Bloody knuckles)

TW/CW: Punching a wall (kinda sh-y), torture trauma, threatening whumper, manhandling, defiant whumpee, scared whumpee, isolation whump-cold whumper (at the very end), Word count: 721

Pix is the lovely whumper oc of @yourlocalgaefae33 from an rp she and me are creating. If you wanna read it let me know and I can see if you can get the link to the whump discord server.

Lyra was staring at the heavy door that had shut behind Pix. She listened to her footsteps disappearing  and tried to calm her heavy breathing. It was no use and shortly after she found herself storm towards the next wall and punch it with her fist. It hurt and damn it felt good. So she kept on punching until she barely felt the pain anymore. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did I mess up!? How could I mess this up!! How could I let her see so much, how-what she saw. The fear. No. NO. No! And now I’ve lost privileges. Okay smallest of my problems. Follow! The! Gods! Damn! Rules! That’s the only fucking thing!! Adam. Girahim. Lilith. Lucifer. Belial. Crow. Zestia. Electra. You’ve always done it. SO STICK TO THE DAMN PLAN! Each thought undermined with a strong punch. Suddenly through her panicked anger she sees red. Literally. There’s streams of red on the wall in front of her. She looks down on her fist and sees its bleeding. Shit. She thought. But then she heard footsteps come closer to the basement door. Her eyes go wide and she scrambles to go back to her stance in the middle of the floor. Arms legerly crossed, trying to hide her bloody knuckles from Pix. Every touch burned but it was better than giving the bitch the satisfaction.

Pix entered the door and made sure to lock the door behind her before walking down the stairs.

Lyra sees that her before injured hand is now bandaged and it gives her a little bit of satisfaction. That’s gonna suck for her for a while, she thought grimly.

Pix walks straight up to her, stopping only a meter or so away. Definitely inside Lyra’s personal space bubble and definitely in arm’s length. “What are you so cocky about huh? You failed in every possible way. And the only thing that came out of it is that I got to see your panic. Your fear.”

“No. It also proved that you’re not untouchable, you’re not invincible or perfect. And now we both saw that.”

Pic quickly takes a step toward her and grabs her chin roughly before smiling ever so sweetly. “Oh honey, you just got lucky. You caught me lacking simply because I was happy. And how could I not be if you’re giving me everything.”

“Bull!”

“No.”

Lyra imitates a Russian accent: “I am not giving everything.”

“Aww still trying to play your little games?”, Pix taunts before grabbing Lyra’s arm and ripping it down, breaking her kidnappee’s confident stature. A short, pained hiss escaped Lyra and Pix looked at her arms in confusion. Her gaze falls on Lyra’s bloody knuckles, then to the closest wall with the blood smears and a sadistic grin breaks the tension in her face. “Well, well, well, what is this? Were you trying to already punish yourself by yourself?”

“Yeah, sure.”, Lyra bit back.

“Or was there maybe another reason why you redecorated my wall?”, Pix drills in a luring tone.”

“I simply felt like it. It’s actually kinda fun, I used to sometimes do it at work with the soil bags we sell. Outside in the cold.” “-Lyra. Stop trying to stall. Or distract me. That might have worked with Adam but not with me.

Lyra paled but she didn’t flinch. Even if, wouldn’t flinch.

“Why would you punch a wall, Lyra?”

“It’s none of your business!”

“What were you thinking, hm?

Lyra gasped softly for air.

Bullseye, Pix thought triumphantly.

“Nothing of interest. The wall just looked very punchable!”

“Se defensive.”

“Uuugh! You’re impossible.”

“My best guess is-she digged her nails further into Lyra’s face when she tried to pull her head away-that you were frustrated with yourself. That you were trying to remind yourself of your rules-she drew goosefeet into the air at that word. Tell me, is that how you teach yourself, Lyra? Do you learn well through pain?”

Lyra’s eyes go wide. Noup, fuck no. “Nice try, but no.”

“Hmm. Guess I’ll just have to see for myself during the time you’re here don’t I.”, and with that she released Lyra’s chin and took a box Lyra didn’t even notice she brought back upstairs with her. A few sausage sticks and bread flew down the stairs before the door fell shut.

Bonus for the ones that get the Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow reference. Lyra is a huge (quoting) nerd!

Taglist: @yourlocalgaefae33, @princessofhe11, @greatkittencloud, @bisexuawolfsalt, @ailesswhumptober

[pidgedee]

I am VERY curious about your DND pantheon. Can I ask about the Ancient One and the Wanderer? The Gambler? Lyca and Lyra had quite a few endings for their story—are those something Karl made up, or is he just spreading as many versions as he could?

YOU CERTAINLY MAY!! i love talking about them so much.

the Ancient One is, as the name suggests, a very old god. a very organic and nature-aligned god too! his religion is a more dnd-traditional one, the sort with temples and orders of clerics and scriptures that are centuries old. it’s a little less widespread nowadays in-universe, but still common enough that shelter of the faithful from a background in the ancient one’s teachings will serve you well (looking at you, quackity).

as for The Wanderer well he is a blorbo to me and i care for him very much. he’s the god of travelers and because of that he’s generally revered as, like, this brave adventurer or explorer, and you pray to him for protection on your travels and such. BUT there’s this other aspect to him that’s less explored by his followers in-universe and it’s that the wanderer is fucking lost. like, literally - he’s never reached a destination himself because he is constantly on the move. he’s wandering because he has nowhere to stay and he hasn’t found an end to his journey yet. and the whole wandering shrines thing is such a funky way to illustrate that!! this guy’s worship literally hinges on the concept of an endless journey. he is a god who literally cannot find peace or else he’ll stop being a deity. like. waugh. he’s so blorbo to me okay

the gambler is, like, not quite as well developed in my brain as some of the other deities which is sad but i do have the basics and i think she’s neat! she’s about calculating risk vs reward and then throwing caution to the wind and doing it anyway, she’s about the underdog, she’s about beating the odds with your fists if you’ve gotta! and she’s hot. who said that. worshipping her is real common in big cities, and travelers might prefer her over the wanderer, depending on their background, given she’s a little scrappier than mr lost at sea over there.

AND LYCA AND LYRA. oh i love the twins. so the twins are not proper deities like the rest of the pantheon! they don’t have specific scriptures or teachings; they don’t even really have a religion necessarily. they’re just… There, for right now. baby gods, i suppose! the way karl worships them — by talking about them — is really the best way you can worship them as such new deities. spread their stories! make them exist to more people! power through belief and all that. so yeah, karl 100% made up those endings, but for the twins the idea of cycles and the act of beginnings again is worship itself.

( also, bonus fun fact - somebody in the tags theorized that the twins represent the other side and the inbetween, which is a LOVELY theory. i am not half so clever so unfortunately it is not correct, but i will say you’re onto something with (at least a few of) the deities being inspired by dsmp locations :] )