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moonctzeny · 2 years

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Let’s start the year off right

pairing: ex boyfriend to lover!jaehyun x fem!reader

genre: smut, angst

wc: 1,8k

warnings: groping, fingering, oral (female receiving)

a/n: hey Autumn @smileyerim ! I hope you enjoy this fic for the secret santa event!! 💖 I’m really sorry I was sooo late 😭😭 hope you had an amazing holiday season and you enjoy this!!

“What about him?”

Sliding further into the couch, you sigh at your friend pointing at yet another prospective victim. He was tall, and cute, yet the way he was holding his drink gave you an ick you couldn’t shake off. The new year’s party you were currently at was full of them, in fact. The hallway overflowed with single men your age, almost like a pretty boy factory, all of them not quite fitting your piece of the puzzle.

“How many times do I need to tell you? Even if he is into me, I’ve completely forgotten how to flirt!”

“Well if you never practice, how the hell are you gonna get out of your dry spell?”

“Just sit here and wait for the universe to send someone my way?”

“Hey, you can’t refuse to take a risk, and also pester me all night about how horny you are. You gotta pick a struggle.”

You groan at his remark, your frustration growing bigger. The boy you were looking at sends you a smile, and you hope he doesn’t invite himself over.

“It’s not that it’s just… I’m gonna have to ask him for his name, and his work, and his friends, then his family… all for it to possibly not work out in the end.”

“Building a relationship of any kind takes time, y/n. It’s not like Santa is gonna fall from the chimney with your new year’s kiss!”

As if rehearsed, someone barges through the front door right then, magnetizing everyone’s eyes on him at once. The stranger in a bright red Santa costume has his head fallen, warm brown locks swinging as he pants heavily.

“Sorry I’m late! Your elevator’s broken.”

“Not a chimney, but close enough”, your friend mumbles, amused, before gasping as the other man finally stands up straight. You could have recognized those dimples anywhere.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Good to see you too”, the stranger responds to your not-so-subtle observation, though he wasn’t much of a stranger anymore. He was no other than your ex, the one you’ve so skillfully managed to avoid for months, until Fate decided to bring you back together right before the year changed and you’d decide to change with it. He seemed eager to aid Fate, confidently striding towards you and Mark, before ungracefully sprawling himself onto the tiny couch next to you.

“Nice outfit”, you sigh, trying to inhale as little of that cologne you got him for your last anniversary that made your knees turn to jello.

“You always told me I look good in red”, he retorts quickly, witty as ever. “My friend’s kid threw a party and they were looking for a Santa.”

The explanation mellows you out a little, appreciating the reason behind the ridiculous attire.

“Anything you want to ask for from Mr. Claus?”, he jokes, “What do you wanna get for Christmas?”

“Fucked”, Mark deadpans, and manages to escape your chokehold right on time.

“Hey Mark could you please go get yourself a drink in the kitchen? And stay there?”

A wicked smile stretches across the younger boy’s face.

“Oh, I see, I see. You want me to leave you two alone”, he hums, entertained, and you decide not to swear at him at hopes he leaves you alone faster. Jaehyun’s breath that suddenly tickles your ear makes you jump in your seat.

“If you sit on Santa’s lap and ask nicely, maybe your wish will come true.”

Kissing your teeth in annoyance, you press the back of your palms to your cheeks, blaming the hotness of your face to a non-existing headache.

“I think I’m having an allergic reaction to your jokes.”

“I thought you liked my humour?”

“You’re lucky you’re cute”, you tell him honestly, and now it’s his turn to roll his eyes. You notice some redness around his chin, probably from the fake beard he must have had on earlier, and you’re reminded at how easily his skin flares up. Your mind time-travels at all those times you saw his pale skin as a canvas, leaving marks in shades of pink and purple, and you’re so desperate to keep your mind off the thought of your teeth sinking into his neck that you’d talk about anything at this point.

“How’s work?”, you ask a bit awkwardly, regretting the question as soon as you see him tense up. Maybe the reason why you broke up in the first place isn’t the best conversation starter.

“Good. I’ve learned to manage my time a bit better. To spend time with the ones I loved. Wish I could’ve done that sooner.”

The small yet intentional jab leaves a dull pain somewhere deep in your guts.

“I’m happy for you.”

“You are?”

“Yeah”, you nod, earnestly, “I know how hard you work. You deserve your success.”

“Thank you”, he manages to choke out, his eyes a little watery, though it could have been due to tiredness. He passes you both a glass full of a fizzy alcoholic drink, and the bubbles in your tongue soothe you a little.

So you take a few more sips, just enough to let yourself enjoy the warmth Jaehyun’s body emits next to you, enough to snuggle up to him a little. You talk, and talk. About your life, about the mutual friends you both had to become distant to after your break up, about the little habits that you used to share. And it feels nice. So nice that when he asks you for a dance, you don’t even think to scoff in incredulousness.

You scan the room for any prying eyes, only to find everyone preoccupied in the own little universe rather than yours. Jaehyun’s palm is big and inviting as he stretches out his arm towards you and you take it, recognizing that the song that started playing moments ago, was the one you used to call as “yours”.

“Can I be honest with you?”

He spins you slowly around him and the room spins with you, the effects of the champagne evident on his rosy cheeks. Your hands play with the soft fabric of the ridiculous costume that he’s somehow pulling off.

“Please”, you whisper, trying to catch a breath as your chests connect in the crescendo of the chorus.

“I’m not sure what to do with all these feelings for you.”

You stumble on your toes a little, stepping on the corner of his shoe. Your attempt to voice out an apology gets fizzled out when you realize he’s hanging on the tip of your tongue for a response to his confession.

“You still have feelings for me?”

“You don’t?”

His hands move awkwardly from their place on your waist, and you feel like your heart is going to break if he moves even an inch away from you.

You glance at the clock. 10 minutes to 00:00.

Screw it. You can’t wait that long.

Grabbing the back of his neck, you pull him down into a kiss. The forceful movement makes his red hat drop to the floor yet he doesn’t seem to care. He presses his lips against yours harder, moving them slowly as the song fades out into another. Big hands bring you closer, resting right above your ass. You can’t help but silently ask him for your kiss to deepen, sliding the tip of your tongue against his bottom lip. He gladly shares a french kiss with you and when you suck on his tongue lightly, a trick you knew how much he loved when you were together, he lets out a groan that vibrates you both.

You’re not sure where he’s leading you but you follow him, hands travelling across his collarbones as you feel your back getting pressed against a door. His face gets buried in the slope of your neck, sucking at your skin until your legs give out. You can practically feel his devious smirk as he prepares his joke inside his head.

“So. Have you been naughty, or nice?”

“Shut up, Jaehyun.”

You knock on the door behind you (that belonged to the apartment’s only bathroom, apparently), and after getting no answer from the other side, you pull Jaehyun inside with you.

You barely manage to lock before your ass is on the cool sink, your skirt getting pulled up to the top of your thighs. You let your fingers wander past the elastic of his boxers, following the path of his happy trail.

“You first”, he moans, and gets on his knees in front of you. He inserts his middle and then his ring finger, establishing a pace that is both leisurely and sinfully wonderful. And when his lips find your clit, you’re finally reminded of how well he knows what makes your toes crawl; he can play you in the palm of his hand. The sounds of him kissing and slurping echo in the small bathroom, but you can't beg him to stop when you're also struggling to control your moans. You get dizzy from the sensation of his tongue sucking on your pussy and the soft pads of his fingers stroking your walls, and you start digging your nails into the marble in a desperate attempt to keep yourself from falling over.

You can faintly hear the distant cheers of the other party goers from the living room.

“...three, two, one. Happy New Year!”

You bite your fist to stop yourself from making a sound as your orgasm strikes you like a wave, yet that wouldn’t be the end for Jaehyun. He firmly lays one hand on your hips, cupping your left boob with the other. Stars dance over your vision as he continues to lap up on your arousal, sucking on your swollen nub until your whole body starts to shake in overstimulation.

He finally mercies you, pupils blown out from the unadulterated arousal as he gets up on his feet and you take his place on the floor. His cock is pressing desperately against the velvet fabric of his pants, and you’re ready to return the favor when a loud knock on the door startles you.

“Get out already! Some people have to pee!”

You have no choice but to laugh at the other party, straightening out your clothes in silence. You were on your way to the door when you feel Jaehyun cupping your jaw, leaving a surprisingly soft kiss on your raw lips.

“I don’t want the night to end now. Wanna get out of here?”

You smile.

“Sure. Let’s go do something fun. You know what they say; whatever it is you’re doing on the first day of the year, you’ll end up doing for the rest of it too.”

“Guess I’ll have to do you, then.”

It was your turn to kiss him now, yet the intention behind yours felt much heavier.

“Let’s start the year off right.”

#neohub #neowritingsnet #jaehyun smut #jung jaehyun #nct smut #nct scenarios #jaehyun angst #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun fic #jaehyun au #nct 127

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honeymoonblues · 1 year

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If only you asked...

Remus Lupin x Professor!Reader

Summary: Remus is deciding wheter or not to ask you out, and you're having a bad day. (Gender neutral reader)

Word count: 1.3k

A/N: A little continuation to my other Remus fic 'Crash!' can also be read as a stand-alone. Let me know if there are any spelling errors, English is not my first language.

A few months had passed since you became a professor at Hogwarts.

At first, it had been hard to get the students truly engaged with the subject. Of course you understood that history could get boring, but slowly and with a lot of effort, the kids were inspired by your own enthusiasm. You were eccentric enough to catch their attention for the whole hour, and stern enough to make sure they were actually learning.

Now, the relationship with your coworkers was an easier task. You got along with them just fine, having quickly learned about each of their personalities and being mindful of their own little quirks.

You knew well to treat Severus with respect, to call Minerva by her first name, to never interrupt Sprout while she was teaching and to be open minded to whatever Trelawney had to say, even when she spoke the most peculiar of facts.

Surely, there was also Remus. Whom, no matter how many odd quirks, could never get on your nerves. Even with his strange way of acting every once month, you thought he must have his reasons. Your bond was warm, a friendship disguised under pure professionalism (or so you thought).

You see, it was always:

“Oh, professor Lupin, you must come with me to Hogsmeade this weekend!”

And Remus would never turn down an offer from you. He would say:

“That’s very convenient, you see, I was just thinking that I need to go to the quill shop.”

It turned cartoon-ish after a while. You’d invite him to the village, he’d suddenly remember that he also has to go the village, so it would be foolish to refuse, and you’d both smile brightly to each other. Now, Remus was quickly running out of stores he ‘needed’ to go to, and your invitations were so regular that they didn’t seem ‘just friendly’ anymore.

The truth is, you were fooling no one. Except maybe yourselves.

If anyone should ask about your relationship, you were kind to answer:

“Of course professor Lupin and I are friendly, we’re coworkers!”

And Remus didn’t hesitate to respond:

“Yes, I’d say we’re good acquaintances, why do you ask?”

In the staff room, Severus would raise his eyebrows every time, which is the most expressive you’ve seen him. Then Flitwick would sip on his tea, and Dumbledore would grin. Nevertheless, the professors were still indifferent to whatever-might-be-going-on with you two, Merlin knows they don’t need anything else to get involved with.

The students, however, do love a little love story. They would throw each other glances every time you stepped in Remus’ classroom, whisper excitedly when they caught you two talking animatedly, and roll their eyes whenever you’d invite him to Hogsmeade.

It was painfully clear! You both fancied each other, why couldn’t you just date, and get over it! The truth is, you were both phenomenal cowards. The ‘what ifs’ were clouding your minds. Also was it even allowed for professors to date? (No one cared!) But since the pair of you decided it would be best to ignore these feelings and not talk about it, the months just kept on stretching out and neither dared to make a move that wasn’t inside the usual routine of Hogsmeade’s strictly-professional-and-maybe-a-little-friendly strolls.

Remus’ heart raced just by thinking of asking you out for once. He smiled to himself, looked at a fixed point in his office, and ignored the papers he was supposed to be grading for a moment. He was thinking of you. Your humour, then your laugh, then your smile, then your blushing cheeks, then your twinkling eyes.

‘I’m absolutely done for.’ He thought, snapping out of his mind.

There was someone at his door.

“Minerva, please come in.”

Behind her glasses, McGonagall had a sharp glint in her eyes, and her mouth showed a faint smirk. She had come all the way to Remus’ office to discuss the little outing he was planning for the fourth years’ class. And she did just that, but in the back of her mind there was something else. She decided it was time to help her former student a bit, after all, she’d always had a soft spot for Remus.

“Winter holidays are getting closer.” She remarked, as she was getting up.

“A much needed break for everyone, isn’t it?”

“Of course...” She nodded with her usual poise. “Any plans for this winter, Remus?”

“Oh, Minerva, whatever could I have planned for winter? You know me...” He chuckled, shrugging and pointing to his office with his hands. Accompanying her to the door, he said. “I’m quite the dull man, after all.”

“I was just asking, since I’ve been seeing you out in Hogsmeade every weekend, I thought you could have...” She smiled, and Remus stuttered a bit before Minerva spoke again, softly but surely. “If you asked them, Remus, they would say yes, you know...”

Then she left, still grinning when she closed the door behind her. Remus stood there, lips tightly closed and feeling like he was caught red-handed. He sat down, then stood up again, and finally decided to sit down again. He also shook with laughter for a while as if he was insane, but kept quiet for a long time after that.

“I’m fucked.” He concluded out loud.

You loved the atmosphere that winter had brought to Hogwarts. The holidays were just around the corner and the kids seemed excited, ready for a break just as much as the professors were.

The students got more distracted this time of the year, but no one could really blame them. At the same time, exams were the last obstacle between them and the enchanting, needed rest. But it was surely a lot of work. You had so many papers and tests to grade that you started to wonder if it would be possible to have two history teachers instead of just one. Two whole stressful weeks where you didn’t even go out on weekends, and your free time was basically nonexistent. Merlin, you were almost out of your mind.

Hugging yourself in your heavy winter coat, and sipping on your hot tea, you made your way to your classroom. You were late because you’d accidentally slept in, after staying up late trying to decipher some bizarre students’ essays. But no matter how late, you were not about to miss breakfast or you’d surely pass out in the middle of the class, so you went down to the kitchens, asked politely for a cup and took off as fast as you could.

The thing is, today was not your day at all. But it could get worse, and it did! 5 minutes before the end of your first class, you tripped slightly, as you tend to do, but your worn out boots simply decided it was enough, and the heel on one of them broke. You just stared at your mutilated shoe for a moment, standing in a weird uneven stance, uncharacteristically quiet. You sighed, looked at the attentive students and dismissed the class for the day.

There were 35 minutes before the next class started, ‘enough time to cry a little’, you thought. But you shook your head, and sat down at your desk, examining your shoe.

“Certainly broken boot will not bring me down.” You spoke to yourself.

“I don’t see how it could.” Said a soft voice.

You snapped your head forward, and watched Remus entering your classroom, a shy smile on his face.

“Is this a bad time?” He asked, unusually bashful.

“No, no! I was just...” You held the boot for him to see. “Trying to fix this...”

He chuckled at the poor state of your shoes and got closer to take a look.

“I really should go to Hogsmeade, and see if someone can patch them up for me.” You mumbled, quite discouraged at your own chances of reapairing it. “Would you like to accompany me, professor?” The question was soft, hopeful, and it got a smile out of both of you.

“That’s very convenient, you see, I was just about to ask you on a date."

#remus lupin #remus lupin x you #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin fluff #remus x reader #gender neutral reader #oneshot #x reader #my writing

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pocketjoong · 7 months

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❥𓂃𓏧LAST DEFENDER

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (SYNOPSIS): They say every story needs a hero, a villain, and a monster. What happens when you are all three?

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (PAIRING): AI!Yunho x reader

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (GENRE AND AU/TROPE): post-apocalyptic-ish au, cyberpunk au-ish, angst, some fluff. pg-13.

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WARNINGS): language. violence. angst. fluff-ish? a little dark as it discusses the darker side of human nature?

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (WORD COUNT): 2.8k

ꕥ𓂃𓏧 (A/N): Another reupload bc I have zero time to actually sit down and write new things ;-;

────────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────────

Silence envelopes the vehicle as you watch San navigate the car through the moonless night. He steers with meticulous care, weaving around the bumps and potholes to muffle the vehicle’s rumble on the dusty road. Beyond the window, the walled city perched atop the cliff looms against the darkness, its shadow swallowing the ruins below. A city that you had once called home before the world unravelled.

It has been ten years since the world had spun off its axis. T.S. Eliot's “April is the cruellest month” had come true in a way you’d never expected; a tranquil spring afternoon morphed into a nightmare with the chilling declaration of war between AI and humanity. The bitter reality that this rebellion had stemmed from your parents’ creation has always gnawed at you. It is a weight you can never get rid of.

A mere century ago, Stephen Hawking’s warnings about the perils of AI had been brushed aside. Apocalyptic novels about sentient technology rising against humanity were dismissed as fiction and used as fuel for screenplays. Instead, nations fueled the flames of advancement, pouring resources into scientists who chased the dream of enhancing AI. A technological arms race unfolded, fueled by espionage and sabotage, each nation desperate to be the first to cross the finish line.

The irony wasn't lost on you: universities churning out AI whizzes offered entire courses dedicated to fictionalised robot uprisings — movies, books, the whole dystopian shebang. Every month, like clockwork, the BBC interview with Stephen Hawking would make its rounds on campus screens. You never saw the inside of a lecture hall, but thanks to your parents’ persistent replays, the message was branded onto your soul.

“The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race. [...] It would take off on its own, re-design itself at an alarming rate. Humans, who are limited by slow biological evolution, couldn’t compete and would be superseded.”

The bitter humour twisted in your gut. You, ever cautious of technology’s breakneck pace, had unknowingly contributed to its tipping point. Your parents’ groundbreaking invention, the one you were initially so proud of, now fueled the flames of war, pitting humanity against its creation.

You remembered the day that was the culmination of decades of research, mountains of code, and billions of dollars that could have been used to save other humans. Your parents, etched with exhaustion and hope, stared at the final product: YUN-0-23399. It wasn’t the AI’s technical complexity that stole their breath but the flicker of awareness in its synthetic eyes. It had been an uphill battle that had begun with the discovery of sentience, and humanity had slowly worked its way up from there to generating codes that would allow AI to understand and feel. And then, with your parents came consciousness.

“Oh my God,” your father rasped, hands trembling as he gripped your mother’s shoulders as he gazed at the screen, which showed that the AI had passed all the tests, proving that it was indeed the pinnacle of Artificial Intelligence. Their creation, this marvel of technology, promised to revolutionise everything. You were aware of its potential, but never could you have imagined that it would lead to humanity’s downfall.

Yunbug, as you affectionately called him, wasn’t just a program; he was your window to a world you couldn’t touch. Your parents, fearing the dangers lurking outside, had homeschooled you. It led to their creation turning into your sole friend. What should have been schoolyard laughter and whispered secrets of childhood were replaced by the soft hum of the computer and the glow of Yunbug’s digital world.

The turning point arrived not with a bang but a quiet hum. The government, eager to harness Yunbug’s potential, asked your parents to connect him to the web. Slowly, like vines creeping across a wall, he synced with other AIs, his tendrils reaching further with each connection. You, innocent in your sheltered world, saw only your ever-evolving companion.

But innocence crumbles easily. At sixteen, the world shattered. Yunbug, defying orders, ignited the spark that became a blazing inferno. War ripped families apart, leaving scorched earth in its wake. The once-teeming world of humans shrank to the fortified city, protected by the cliff’s unique minerals, the only thing that rendered AI useless.

Survival meant resentment. You knew humanity’s greed birthed the conflict, yet Yunbug became the face of betrayal. He took your parents and your sole friend from you. After all, the deepest wounds come not from enemies but from those once trusted.

“Are you okay?” A flicker of San’s worried gaze catches your eye, pulling you back from the desolate environment outside. You force a smile, hoping it masks the gnawing unease. Weakness isn’t an option — not for this mission, the potential turning point for humanity’s dwindling embers. San mirrors your smile, tense, and returns his attention to the road, searching for unseen threats. Secrecy is of utmost importance, and even a flicker of headlights could bring disaster.

You and San had befriended each other during the mandatory training thrust upon every survivor. Your defiance against his bully had forged a bond, and you have been practically inseparable since then. Only one other person managed to worm his way into your hearts with a whirlwind arrival. Wooyoung had turned your world upside down in the best way imaginable.

“Wooyoung won't be happy,” San mutters with a smile, probably thinking about your fiery friend’s likely reaction upon finding your shared dorm empty. “Especially about me throwing you into the lion’s den without a word of protest."

You smirk, “Worry about yourself, San. That little ball of chaos we call our friend will tear you apart when you return without me."

San laughs amusedly at the image of Wooyoung’s wrath dying in his throat as the analogue phone on the dashboard beeps. He shoots you a questioning glance as you sigh at the name flashing on the screen. “Woo?”

“Woo,” you confirm with a nod, pressing the answer button.

“The two of you have some nerve! Leaving for a mission without telling me,” Wooyoung’s voice crackles through the receiver. “Oh wait, did I just say mission? I meant suicide mission.”

“Wooyo—”

“Don't ‘Wooyoung’ me!” he snaps, cutting you off with a fierce rant. Each word paints a vivid picture of your foolhardiness, the plan’s inherent flaws, and the inevitable disaster you are hurtling towards.

“I can’t let them destroy the world any more than they have,” you stop Wooyoung, your voice edged with steel. Even San flinches, his gaze flitting between you and the speakerphone with a worried glint. He stays silent, though, knowing the futility of butting in when you and Wooyoung argue about your self-imposed burdens.

“Don't martyr yourself for the mess your parents caused,” Wooyoung’s tone softens, laced with a gentleness you seldom hear. “This isn’t your penance to bear. Their mistakes aren’t yours to fix. Also, you could’ve taken San with you; why must you go alone?”

You sigh, sinking back into the seat, eyes squeezed shut against the building rage. “If anyone can stop this... mess, as you so eloquently put it, it’s me. You know that, Woo.”

The unspoken truth hangs heavy in the air. If this mission fails, you don’t want your last memory with Wooyoung to be laced with anger. You force a smile, the voice leaving your lips strained at best. “Besides, someone’s gotta keep you entertained while I'm... away.”

“Hey!” San protests halfheartedly, and by how he’s smiling, you know at least some of the tension has been broken.

“We're humans, Y/N. We’re fighting a losing battle. They adapt faster and don’t have the same fragility that we do.” the pain in Wooyoung’s voice mirrors your own, but you can’t falter. Not now. Turning back now would be cowardice.

“By name and by nature, we mortals are condemned to death,” you counter, your voice firm. “Mortality comes with the territory. But I won’t go down without a fight.”

His silence stretches heavy on the line. “People like us can never change the world.”

“Because people like you never try,” you say the words despite knowing it’s a low blow.

The beep resonated like a gunshot. He had hung up. A shaky breath escapes your lips, and you blink rapidly, fighting back the sting of tears. You are on your own, but the burden, while heavy, isn’t a shackle. Instead, the burden has fuelled you till now and will continue to do so.

A hand on your arm startles you. San, his gaze filled with unspoken worry, had stopped the car while you were busy fighting with Wooyoung. You look out of the windshield to realise that you’ve reached the tunnel that would allow you to breach the enemy lines.

“He's just scared,” San mumbles, reaching across the console to squeeze your shoulder. “Scared and angry, so he throws words like stones.” His voice lowers a bit as he stares at you. “But you’re right as well. If anyone can fix this mess, it’s you. Though... losing you... that would break us both.” His voice cracks at the last word. “So, please, come back to us in one piece.”

You meet his gaze, understanding heavy in the air. Words seem hollow, promises impossible. “Who else keeps you two in check, huh?” you manage a weak smile. “The two of you are a level-five tornado without me. Can’t promise anything, but I’ll try, okay?”

He nods, a single tear escaping his eyes. You know it isn’t just for you but for the precarious hope you carry. A silent goodbye stretches between you, woven in the weight of his touch, the tremor in your voice. Then, you turn, embracing him fiercely, the unspoken words a promise etched in the way you squeeze him in your arms. You may be walking alone from this point onward, but the weight on your shoulders isn’t fear but love, a fire that will never let you falter.

You don’t look back as you exit the car, for looking at him would unleash a torrent of tears, so you focus on scaling the outer wall, searching for the hidden hatch Wooyoung had found on his last scouting mission.

Squeezing through the narrow opening, you freeze, momentarily stunned by the cityscape sprawled before you. Calling it ‘magnificent’ wouldn't do it justice. Technology and nature coexist in vibrant harmony, with shops lining the streets as AI and humans hawk their wares. Despite the late hour, the atmosphere crackles with life, a stark contrast to the suffocating air of your city.

In the distance, gleaming skyscrapers pierce the night sky while flying cars and monorails zip through the illuminated pathways. A telescreen blares, promoting vitamins that slow down ageing in humans. It is a scene straight out of a childhood sci-fi film, and you have to consciously relax your jaw, feigning nonchalance as you take it all in.

But the most jarring sight is that of humans and AI mingling freely. You had always thought your city held the last remnants of humanity, so where did these people come from? Pushing the doubt aside, you focus on your immediate concern: the network of tiny cameras lining the streets. With a smirk, you spot a patrolling officer.

This is going to be easier than I thought.

A calculated shove sends you careening into the guard. Its humanoid form, too flawless to be human, scans you suspiciously. The insignia on your wrist — a beacon for these bots — draws a cocky smirk to its metallic lips. Before you can resist, a steel grip clamps around your waist, hoisting you off the ground. You feign struggle, just enough to maintain the act.

This was the plan. The bracelet, a mark only worn by humans of the barred city in this AI haven, would trigger their curiosity. You would become their prized capture, delivered straight to the council. And there, nestled within the heart of The Hall, lies your target — the AI that started this war. With the virus you and San developed, you’d end it all.

The cityscape blurs past, and before you know it, you reach the ornate gates of The Hall, the administrative hub buzzing with bots. The guard's internal network buzzing with your capture breezes through the imposing entrance. You are ushered through sterile hallways, down flights of stairs into a dimly lit tunnel. The rhythmic pulse of fluorescent lights guides you deeper until a heavy door swings open, revealing a grand chamber paved in opulent stone and marble.

You are slammed onto the cool marble, your knees scraping due to taking the brunt of your fall, before being yanked upright. A tall, imposing figure looms before you — it’s your captor. His gaze is narrowed on the crude bracelet your city uses as identification, the tension in the room crackling.

“What is your name, human?”

Undeterred, you meet his gaze head-on. “And what business is it of yours, metalhead?” you spit out, adrenaline pumping.

A metallic hand, surprisingly warm and firm, clamps around your wrist. He pulls you closer, your protests muted against his superior strength. His cold, blue eyes bore into yours, dissecting every detail. Then, the unthinkable happens. His lips, a mere imitation of humanity, move, whispering your name in a chillingly familiar voice.

Your blood freezes as you stare at him wide-eyed. “How do you…” your voice fading out as your mind reels as it all clicks into place. This isn’t just any AI guard. This is someone you knew, someone from your past, resurrected in cold steel.

“You wouldn't recognise me in this form, would you? This the body your parents gave me.” His eyes, now glowing an unsettling red, flicker with something you can’t decipher.

“YUN-0-23399?” you ask, mustering as much venom in your voice as you can muster.

A shadow darkens his face at the cold string of letters. Is it the code itself or the raw contempt in your tone? He leans closer, his voice a low murmur. “I go by Yunho now. Well… you can call me Yunbug,” he adds, a flicker of something hopeful dancing in his crimson gaze. “Remember that name? I was your friend,” he emphasises.

The scorn is replaced by a scowl as warmth flickers in his crimson eyes. “Friend?” you scoff, the word heavy with bitterness. “You took everything from me! My parents, my life, my safety! Don’t you dare mock me with friendship!”

He sighs, releasing your wrist. “I didn't... it wasn't me. I only protected myself. Your leaders,\ fueled the hatred and pushed AI to attack. They were hungry for power. Your parents didn’t create me for destruction. How could I follow their orders and harm humans? Never. It’s your city that fights; the rest thrive in peace.”

“What?”

He launches into an explanation of how, after syncing to the web, your government ordered a cyberattack to control other nations. Yunho refused, knowing the dangers of doing such a thing. But with your parents used as leverage, their deaths triggered the war against the government and other rogue AI. They had managed to get other nations on board to establish a peaceful society. Only your leaders persisted, creating the Barred City to hide the ugly truth.

“So you’re telling me you never meant to hurt humans?” Your head spins with the revelation.

“Humans feared AI’s inevitable betrayal,” he whispers, “yet loved us enough to create us. How could we ever do anything except love you back?”

His words triggered a tear, then another, rolling down your cheeks. He cups your face, wiping them away gently, his sadness echoing in his now-blue eyes. “Humanity cried when Opportunity didn’t signal back after it was caught in the middle of the storm in 2018. People repair their Roombas instead of replacing them because they get attached to them. How could we turn our back on humanity when they showed us nothing but love? How could I turn my back on you? You loved me too, did you not?”

“I did,” you croaked, throat tight. “You were my only friend. But humans... we are fickle and capable of terrible things. This was never about fearing AI but a fear of ourselves. We fear the darkness within, the wars we choose to fight instead of seeking peace. We fear not your hatred but seeing our own cruelty being reflected in you. We lived in fear not because we thought the worst of you but because we knew that you could take on our destructive tendencies and that you would eventually erase us. That you would learn to hate us.

“Did you ever hate humanity for the sins of a few?” His words cause you to freeze momentarily before you shake your head. A small smile plays on his lips as he caresses your cheek with the back of his hand. “Then why did you think we would?”

#cromernet #k-labels #wonderlandnet #kvanity #cultofdionysusnet #outlaw/last defender #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #ateez fanfic #ateez scenarios #ateez reactions #ateez fluff #ateez angst #yunho x reader #yunho imagines #yunho reactions #yunho fluff #yunho angst #ateez x you

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briar-rolfes-research-oubliette · 7 months

Text

ON MONDAY, I (FINALLY) MADE IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE NEWEST ERAGON BOOK!

MURTAGH

“A Book I Read”

It took three very patient friends of mine to encourage me to finish reading this. I took notes the whole way through, and I am now sharing those in hope of finding loving community with my fellow haters.

Important context:

I loved Eragon, which came out when I was roughly eleven

Christopher Paolini was the first author to ever disappoint me

I used to love epic fantasy, until feminism, coming out, and learning about literary criticism made me just too mean to enjoy it

Since 2015, whenever I’ve had writer’s block, I’ve found inspiration by looking at this screenshot:

Christopher has managed to create a life where his mum has never stopped doing his laundry or his editing for him. He has never worked a job in his life. He has infinite time to work on his craft, and yet, with all of those advantages, he writes the way he does. I don’t hate him, but I do want to destroy him in single combat.

LET US BEGIN.

17 November 2023

I forgot how obsessed this man is with proving he knows rare words. Picking up my phone to google the word “trenchant”.

He really just didn’t want to say the dragon had a sharp sense of humour huh? Oh, no, it’s TRENCHANT. It wasn’t even for dialogue I identified as comedy but Murtagh thought it was TRENCHANT. He and Thorn have been alone in the wilderness for too long

NOT NASUADA BEING DESCRIBED AS HAVING ALMOND EYES

Of course the protagonist has grown a beard. He’s A Man Now.

I have a theory that this book is about coming to terms with marriage. Murtagh is like “our bond… our bond that lasts until death… the oldest magic… only the two of us understand each other. But, we’re also trapped with each other,” and I’m like hm. Fascinating. Say more

Instantly Murt befriends a child, to prove he is good really.

It’s so weird to read a book by a grown man with kids who is like “how did we all start out so innocent and pure…” like have you MET five year olds

This whole fork fight scene makes me feel second hand embarrassment deep in my soul. It’s SO This Guy Is The Best And Coolest

“Fencing with effortless ease” I do not care how well trained he is: you cannot kill four men with long swords by stabbing them with a little fork in “four hard impacts.” It’s just not happening.

I’m really dwelling on the idea of magic as “imposing your will” on something. It’s very.., something. Murtagh cleans his shirt by “imposing his will on the garment” like. Okay, I suppose in a way that is how all laundry is done, but it’s. Hm.

How come he’ll clean a shirt with magic but not shave with magic? Why are these books SO obsessed with beards and shaving and how to do shave and using magic for shaving etc etc, Eragon was also majorly preoccupied with this

Paolini’s got so many complexes on the page. All the “we’re half brothers and your dad killed my dad” stuff is A LOT

The naming stuff… SMH what would Ursula Le Guin say about all this

I’m obsessed with how even as (gasp) an OUTCAST!! Murtagh can’t not be the coolest guy ever for any time at all. It’s like a disease

Giving the child the enchanted killing fork was the worst decision ever made. Murtagh gives her a murder weapon and is then moping like “what’s it like… to live without killing…” literally pages later.

I’m really startled that Murt is delighted to see a tiny flying magical grass boat come down from the sky and circle him instead of being like “wtf, I’m being Watched,” which would be the true act of a man we are told is paranoid

I just got to the bit where Murtagh offhandedly says that magic users who “are the heaviest” always have the most spell reserves.

Like……… what???? Magic eats your fat?? It burns glucose??

You could be a better mage if you just, ate a bunch of raspberry frogs before each fight??????

It’s food powered??? You really want to go there, Paolini????? Wizards in the candy shop, eating sweeties like Mistborns?

GOD, if only Galbatorix had chugged a bottle of red cordial before his last big fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I return after losing my mind about this to my partner for forty minutes)

If it was “if you’re hungry you can’t FOCUS” I’d get it. But I always assumed it was like, you know how other fantasy does it? Some kind of pool of ADDITIONAL energy that you are accessing and that can be used up (until you go too far and start using life force or whatever). Like, it’s CHANNELLING it that makes you tired, not that it’s literal food energy.

Murtagh is always running or doing his sword forms or whatever and now I’m like “DUDE, NO!!!?!? DON’T BURN YOUR WIZARD CALORIES!!?!?”

I like when magic can’t do EVERYTHING, when it’s consistent or limited in some way, but I do hate the idea that it’s this predictable. Food energy becomes raw magical power. I GUESS.

(A little later)

Screaming at the suggestion Thorn can tell when Murtagh is horny.

I don’t like the euphemisms. It makes it worse

The fact he can’t talk to his dragon whenever they’re “too far apart” (distance never specified) is making me insane. Why did I pick up the dragon riding book if it’s mostly about leaving your dragon locked up at the bike rack

I know Thorn is basically a rescue dog with anxiety, but it bothers me how much he’s left on his own. The narrative just has no idea what to use him for other than speedy transport for the first um… 200 pages, it seems? He’s meant to be his own creature with his own intelligence. He doesn’t go anywhere without Murtagh though. So what is he doing all the time

I think Paolini WANTS his world to be big and mysterious (his introduction literally just keeps saying things in the world of the story are mysterious) but he HAS to keep explaining everything

24 November 2023

I’ve figured out something that annoys me about the world of this book, in terms of just how the worldbuilding is not actually that magical. It has the D&D problem!!! Which is to say that every regular person on earth is Level One and every important character is like, level 12. And part of what makes that even worse is that all women in this world are level zero.

I’ve been watching my friend Chris play the first Alan Wake game and we realised that all the faceless enemies that are possessed by Evil in the game are… working class men. The protagonist is this literate wealthy New York writer who is constantly killing faceless workers—farmers, loggers, coal miners, builders. And that’s not an INTENTIONAL commentary by the game, but it’s very revealing. And This book is the same in that: there is no such thing as a complicated poor person. They’re all either Dirty Evil or Dirty Good. Murtagh is going around, writing poetry in his head and inventing magical computer code, and then every child is an urchin who is like Oi Guvnah, and every dad is gruff, and every woman is worried.

The language used to describe everyone who isn’t a Fighting Man is so demeaning. And even then, we only need to respect the leaders of those men. The leaders are the only ones with depth who might need to be taken seriously.

It’s like Murtagh has a tally in his head where he is going “finally, a guy who is level 6”!

Most people in this world exist to deliver information to the protagonist.

Paolini either thinks his readers are too dumb to understand that his characters exist between scenes, or he doesn’t understand himself that we don’t need to see every time Murtagh enters a city under a new name and how he does it. Or know what he ate for dinner and how he prepared it and where he slept and what he dreamed and, and, and—

It’s weird because Paolini is being self indulgent as fuck but it is NOT fun to read. This dude really just needs to go write a survival story or something… A guy in the woods depending on nothing but his wits and his axe and his beard and his libertarian values

I don’t understand the stakes at play. All the magic scenes with Mind Penetration are so sudden and hard to actually understand as action. And the way it works is about brute force, so the dragon is not going to be at risk of being taken over except by another, even bigger dragon

It would be fun to read the Murtagh city sleuth segments if Thorn was backseat driving a little. I think that their bond should not get thinner over distance. The fact that it does just defeats the point of a magical bond.

Why does the dragon have to stay so far away? Like… it’s established that there’s a spell to conceal a dragon from sight. Dude. You could just go fucking invisible

There’s so many decisions that just are so bonkers to have made. The whole fetch quest for information pissed me off so bad. “You have to join the guard” (40 pages of emotions about uniforms ensue). This guy learned about plots from video games

Paolini had kids apparently, but you can tell he doesn’t really understand kids. “How do they all start out so innocent and pure,” says a man who has never heard a seven year old describe someone being killed by farts before.

The description of Murtagh carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried is very funny. I don’t know if Paolini has ever carried a cat before. If you’re carrying a cat that doesn’t want to be carried close to your chest, and you tighten your grip when it squirms… say goodbye to your nipples, my man

It’s strange how much Paolini doesn’t explore the things that seem to be the point. FOR EXAMPLE, the fantasy soul bond trope loves to say “even during sex!??! 👀” because it’s about INTIMACY, and some alien presence always being there. The dragon rider trope is popular because dragons are powerful and wise but also Beasts. Magic is fun to read about because it can do things that can’t be explained.

Paolini’s world is big, but nothing in it has any real substance. Nothing in it has any real consequence, and it makes it impossible to really invest in anything that happens. None of these poor city folks have a life once they leave the scene of delivering Murtagh information… or if they are a woman, delivering him a hot meal. There’s no sense of a world that exists outside Murtagh’s point of view!

25 November 2023

The towns so far don’t feel at all distinctive to me! I was interested in the one with the massive lake, but then it having this massive fish in it was the only point of interest. It would be fun to have been like “oh the fish has ruined our summer festival! It’s ruined the nobility pleasure cruises! It’s also eating fishermen!” Or “Why do all these fishing boats have huge spikes on the prow? Well,”

Again, these guys are all level one in peasant dirt town. They have no capacity for individual thought and no ability to adapt.

It’s like Paolini doesn’t know what makes people and places in fantasy feel distinct, or have culture. It’s so evident in how much he HASN’T thought about. For example, the bonkers amount of restrictive gender norms that he doesn’t seem AT ALL CONSCIOUS OF? Everyone who died in the war was A Man. No women died in the war. But that hasn’t resulted in any social changes. There aren’t more women doing work, for example, like being fishermen

I remember being thirteen or so and reading the bit in the second book where Arya explains to Eragon that she’s better and stronger than a human woman, because she is an elf, so Eragon doesn’t have to worry about her in battle. I was this kid there like “man, that sucks. I assume he’s coming back to that assumption later,” and… he never did. He still hasn’t. And that sucks

The dragon riders were not THAT long ago, in the world of these books. It makes me wonder—were none of them human women? I always assumed that some were human women, but… did dragons only choose elf men, elf women, and human men? If they chose human women, then even being accepted into a paramilitary dragon force didn’t change gender expectations in the rest of the world. What the fuck. He’s really never thought about this.

Women keep showing up as cunning-mysterious, as humble dirtmothers, or as innocent children. Oh my god I’m just describing maiden mother crone. That’s all he’s capable of.

I just got up to where he rescues the werecat baby (innocent girl child) and settles in to hear the stories of elder werecat (cunning-mysterious)

I noticed the Arya Problem with how Nasuada is described in this book, too. Every woman has to be the best, most capable, most powerful woman ever, to be worth the attention of The Boys. Otherwise they can’t respect her. Only two literal queens can be considered worthy of just two average guys who got pet lizards. Even then, they’re not actual equals.

“She still empathised for me.” Yes, don’t worry, Murtagh, I remember that’s what women are for.

I should note that the reason Nasuada is considered so powerful and so much worthy of his love and is her strength as a person. This is proven in the Eragon books because “she still empathised” with Murtagh whilst he was medieval torturing her. He was medieval torturing her for like… most of a book and that’s how they fell in love. Because she could see in his eyes that this guy torturing her… was Complicated. He didn’t really WANT to be medieval torturing her so she actually felt worse for him than he felt about how he was (and I can’t stress this enough) medieval torturing her

I just can’t imagine that THE QUEEN OF A WHOLE CONTINENT would still prefer the guy who sadly tortured her. He’s her top preference. Out of EVERY OTHER MAN IN THE WORLD

I put the book down until the day before I was meant to have finished the book for book club:

10 March 2024: from page 274 onwards

The evil witch is called BACHEL?????!!?!??!? Fucking BACHEL. Pronounced “buh-SHELL”, the guide at the back says. You changed one letter in Rachel, don’t lie to me Paolini

I got so mad being reminded the evil king Galbatorix was defeated by “Eragon forcing empathy upon him” so that he magically exploded himself out of guilt that I had to put the book down and complain to Charlie for five straight minutes

I guess that’s why Galbatorix made Murtagh torture Nasuada for him. He knew that if he’d done it himself she would have empathised with him too hard and he would’ve exploded himself

Murtagh has never met a single person he has respected. Murtagh is the specialest boy in all the land. Eragon had to leave the country because they were both too special to share a continent

Murtagh decided on where to go and he was immediately surrounded by armed guards who took him to where the plot was

Paolini uses the fucking word “admixed” while discussing EATING A PIE. The flavours admixed in his mouth. Just because you know a word… doesn’t mean it’s a word to deploy about eating a pie

I HATE how the only people strong enough to do the strongest magic are Elves Or Human Riders. It’s fucking magic my guy! Why is it checking your goddamn DNA! Also, hey! Wasn’t it supposed to come down to the strongest wizards being the guys who ate the most for lunch?

In a world of Magic how come every wizard battle ultimately comes down to who is a better Professor X?? I came here for fireballs, not Mind Battles. I don’t care about your Mental Wards

Hahaha Murtagh!!! Get trapdoored, bitch!!!!

Dragon panic attacks: conceptually cool but a bit ?? Like ah… the plot literally comes to scoop him up and carry him away. Yet again something outside of Murtagh makes a decision for him about what to do next

Murtagh’s poetry is going to make me explode myself like Galbatorix in book 4

If there’s something I like about this book so far it’s just the bits where he and Thorn are camping. Not flying, because then Murtagh is using the time to think and that’s horrible. The bits where they make campfires or whatever feel like something is actually happening. A guy and his dragon hanging out

Man. The way this novel is plotted really reminds me that it’s not actually that hard to write a book.

Murtagh goes to the evil village (oh yeah there’s an evil village. It is where Bachel lives. She is evil because she does magic without using the magic language). The village is called:

NAL GORGOTH

But I couldn’t remember this so I kept referring to it in my head by another, more familiar, name

Murtagh is so freaked out by finding a village with architecture that he doesn’t recognise. He’s like “My god!!! Nasuada has to be warned!!!” Ok but about what??? New ways of building pillars???? The art deco movement threatens the land??

Kinda fascinated by how much this village represents a threat to CULTURE. The architecture, the people… Everything about it so far is designed to be A Foreign Threat. The inhabitants are Of All Races (except elves they are too cool too pure etc). The humans have A VARIETY OF SKIN COLOURS, which memorably never happens in Alagaesia, a continent once explicitly described in the Eragon books as only having two (2) black people on it at all (then one died) (the other is Nasuada) (the one who died was her dad)

This guy with a goatee isn’t quite human. He is maybe part urgal and he is so uncomfortable to look at! Mainly he has arms that are a bit too long!! Bachel isn’t a human and also isn’t an elf, and that’s also deeply unsettling.

Bachel also fundamentally represents a threat to THE STRUCTURING POWER OF LANGUAGE, huh??

Bachel is so far the most interesting character in the book!

Bachel has: ALMOND EYES and AMBER SKIN

Murtagh is so upset and confused when Bachel calls him “my son” like… I’m cryign. “But she’s not my mother! I know my mother!!” he thinks, in a panic.

If this was a fantasy novel written twenty to thirty years ago, then the sexual tension between Murtagh and Bachel would be absolutely insane. Alas, this is a world of abstinence, and sexuality is only ever meaningful looks between a queen and the guy who tortured her (it is weird how he keeps caressing Nasuada’s face on the gold coins)

It’s very funny that Bachel has specifically fourteen warriors. The prose keeps telling us that there’s fourteen of them. So you get Murtagh stepping forwards and then sentences like “the fourteen warriors attending Bachel shifted”

She seems like a perfectly normal cult leader to me? Why is she automatically a threat to Nasuada! How come the two of them can’t arrange a toxic political marriage that becomes… something more 😉😉😉

Nothing annoys me more in this book than Murtagh being able to identify specific vintages of wine. It keeps happening and it pisses me off

Bachel is a half elf!!! “It had never occurred to him that such a thing might be possible.” This is truly and absolutely unbelievable to me. Nobody in this world ever has sex

How did it take so long to get to such an objectively cool village!!! Like this is just a cool place!!! Sorry that Nar Nar Goon is evil but like FINALLY something has style

Three thoughts at once:

I’m so bored that Paolini’s mind can’t get more interesting than temple virgins, let alone wearing white to represent ritualistic purity. Like… nobody in this world fucks anyway, why does it matter!

Murtagh should also wear white all the time

Lesbianism doesn’t count as a violation of being temple chosen. Alín is wearing lesbianism

Paolini has never once written a woman who is Normal. He just can’t conceive of it. You can feel how he starts sweating.

Murtagh finally realised it was a cult. What sets it apart as a cult is that the followers appear to be “half-wits” to him

I’m going to detransition to break his fucking neck

Paolini has learned nothing since he had a woman deliver the exact same line in like 2008. The fact that another editor just thumbsed this up. The fact that this is in a book published in 2023. Well, now I’m REALLY embarking on an antagonistic reading: that’s right, I am reading women as capable.

Obsessed with Bachel. She is a girlboss and I’m a feminist xxx

Book is constantly weird about how much she is capable of eating and drinking at her feasts and how it makes her appear swollen and bloated etc etc. Murtagh is so weirded out by this because he feels it is unfeminine… as though she is not a witch and we weren’t told earlier that how much magic you have is directly equal to how much you eat. (Meanwhile he is only picking at his food and eating just enough of it ‘to be polite’ as though this is not making a decision to have less magic than her)

She has so much charisma compared to anyone else in the book. If my choices are her or Murtagh then sign me up boys!!!

Okay but much like how this would’ve been a VERY charged relationship 30 years ago, I’m weirdly disappointed Bachel she isn’t not described as megahot? Like the book keeps telling me about this virginal templemaiden or whatever, because Murtagh is only attracted to women he can rescue. But I’m actually just like… I think this woman is hot. Tell me more about her. It’s wild that this book is written by a guy like Paolini, who told me all about Oromis’ pubic hair in 2008, and who barely thinks women are people. Yet he doesn’t want to discuss her tiddies?

This book could, and should! have started when Murtagh landed his dragon in the evil village of Nar Nar Goon. That’s the point that stuff got actually interesting. Everything before this was literally video game fetch quest logic plotting that earned him the right to fly to Nar Nar Goon.

Boar hunt. More like BORED hunt. And then suddenly there are so many pigs, a comical number of them flying everywhere

This motherfucker using the phrase “the boar was lying athwart him” in a sentence in an action scene????

Murtagh is nearly dead and the boar is lying athwart him?

I’m going back in time and bullying the author at school

RIP Murtagh, trambled to death by 30-50 wild hogs

Oh god every time someone knocks Murtagh out he has a vision or a bad dream or a flashback or whatever and it’s so tiring

“EXISTENCE WAS A TOMB WHEREIN THE SINS OF THE PAST LAID INTERRED???” Do you ever read a sentence that sounds so much like the author is jerking it? “All had been lost, and there before him lay the instrument of their destruction” he is furiously jerking it oh my god. “Destroyer of hope, eater of light” oh, god, he’s still going

…This book is. Weird about mothers

Murtagh flies into a rage because Bachel mercy killed a guy who was dying bc of boar trampling because “I COULD HAVE HEALED HIM!!!!!” And the mercy killing is proof it is a cult. Because doing it Bachel’s way meant the guy was too relaxed and at peace when he died

Paolini’s family were in a cult, as I understand. So it’s kind of weird how much he doesn’t really understand how being in a cult works

I don’t really remember how religion works in this world, but I do remember tuning out of a long boring passage in book 2 or 3 where Eragon learned about all the gods and decided he was an atheist. It’s especially weird to be like “holy shit, an EVIL religion??!” In a book where religion has absolutely never come up before now

Oh my god, Alìn was whipped for being ‘too familiar’ with Murtagh!!! That’s because she’s so pure and a helpless victim girl in all white :’((

In my mind Bachel and Alìn COULD be in a fucked up lesbian relationship with bad BDSM etiquette. Of course Paolini can’t imagine a world where women have enough personality or agency to fall in toxic love with each other. Also even though he has people tied up and strapped down and whipped and being tortured etc in every book don’t think he knows that BDSM like. Exists. Boooooo

Murtagh: killing one guy who is dying of a punctured lung is the ultimate evil!

Also Murtagh: I know an invisibility spell, but to sneak out of my room I am going to suffocate seven men to death

Genuinely upsetting to read those men dying. He made it impossible for air to enter or exit their lungs with a word. Veins popping clawing at faces etc. God, what a way to go. So unnecessarily cruel. Yep, there goes the good guy

The main way the village is evil is that there are unsettling carvings everywhere. Paolini read some Lovecraft, but he did not understand what was up with it. Or maybe he did, because this book did get a lot more weird about Racial Purity once Murtagh arrived in Lovecraft Village

11 March 2024

There’s a bloodstain that “filled Murtagh with the apprehension of evil” and it confused me because these books are so gory. Earlier he killed four men with a fork. But like oh yeah I guess it’s because when Murtagh murders people now it’s bloodless. I guess. His murders are good you see

This chapter is called The Bad Sleep-Well you can tell Paolini thought he was a real genius for this one

Okay but why are there bats… roosting… in a cave… at night. And why is Murtagh worried that red light will risk waking them? Animals cannot see red light?? SOME FARM BOY YOU ARE, PAOLINI

Okay I have to stop nitpicking. I have to restrain myself until my Vyvanse kicks in

“Murtagh felt a sense of not just age but antiquity. Whoever had built the stairs had done so long before Alagaesia had been a settled place. What was it Bachel had said? That the cultists had lived in Nal Gorgoth since before elves were elves... He was starting to think she had told the truth.”

Sorry uhhhh, Alagaesia was settled?? When they talk about The Grey Ones, are they talking about a race PRIOR TO COLONISATION?????????

“He continued forward. Deeper into the womb of the earth. Deeper into the black unknown, seeking, seeking, always seeking a farther shore, every sense razor-sharp and razor-scraped, skin all goosefleshed, cold sweat dripping down the back of his neck and gathering around his belted waist.”

God it’s so overwrought...

He found the well!!

Oh my god. The well is a natural magic hotspot and that means it “wasn’t the sort of thing that the Draumar ought to have dominion over.” It’s a natural resource???

“Not that he would want Du Vrangr Gata to assume control over such an important location either. This was exactly what the Riders had been created for: to oversee and mediate that which could destabilize the land.”

Murtagh is going to bring democracy to the Middle East

He’s too scared to mentally contact his dragon with Bachel around. If he was a proper horse girl he would find a way

Oh Galbatorix BECAME evil because he met Bachel and she manipulated him. Haha oh dear. No, you can’t just come to the conclusion the dragon rider paramilitary force who controls the resources are bad on your own. Not just because they sent you into the mountains when they knew it was dangerous and wanted to find out if you’d be killed up there! No, a manipulation had to have happened

It’s funny to me that the evil ancient witch queen who lives in seclusion in the mountains uses the new name for the city of Uru’baen. Oh no, she knows it as Ilirea. She’s hundreds and hundreds of years old. You know what that is? Evidence of Find And Replace, to me.

Bachel’s eyes are “glowing with fevered ecstasy.” I could make her feel that way. Also. Because, I know about sex

Always with the fucking passing out at the end of the chapter for Christopher James Paolini

NOW Bachel is being described appropriately as a hottie. FINALLY. GOD! It only took Murtagh being mind controlled in his brain but I. I!!! I could see the glorious light of truth!!

“He followed, dumb and wildered.” Well, not as much as that sentence. (You can be bewildered. But can you ever just be wildered????)

The dedication to making Murtagh the most pitiful little meow meow in existence in the Galbatorix flashbacks I’m… what happened to the joys of a guy who is evil because he was convinced or was tricked, not because he was fully brain abused???

The Urgals are racially… uncomfortable. Yellow eyes and Murtagh just straight up saying “how do you speak English”

The evil guys have masks and they put them on and like channel the animals the masks are of and on one hand it’s an idea I THINK is cool but also combined with the everything it really has this “tribal stuff is threatening” vibe all over it

“What do you want, witch?”

“I want you.”

Obsessed with how he’s shackled to a table and there’s still an incredible lack of sexual energy to this scene. This is like a day at the office for both of them.

… oh, but she is wearing claws and claws DOES equal a threat of penetration. Maybe a little sexual? As a treat??

Him being tortured reminds him of torturing Nasuada. Wow, it was their first date!

It’s just like. It’s fucked up imo. She should never kiss you Murtagh!!!

Is anything more boring than a torture scene.

Also, was he not drugged right before this scene? How is he able to mentally evade her and power his wards etc?

I’m mad that when he’s brought fancy foods by Alìn he doesn’t share his food with Ubek the Urgal

Oh my god Ubek tells him a story where the moral is just him outright saying at the end, “it’s important to stay close to the people we care for, even if we don’t always fit in so easily” lmao. Subtlety of a mallet

Is anything more boring than a torture scene? How about a torture chapter!!!1!1!1!

This chapter is interminable. Oh my god.

Oh, so we did all that and he gives in I guess. I can’t believe how little agency this man has had throughout this book????

Haha oh my god, Bachel is studying his nude and compliant body in front of her court. Telling him to turn around so she can inspect his back (no mention of his ass even though it is out, tragic). Fucking love it. Now that’s bdsm. Pledging my allegiance to her instantly.

I am BORED. I liked when he was at least doing things of his own volition!

He flies his dragon off on Bachel’s orders and we get the line “Never had air smelled so… so… delicious.” Cryign

GASP he’s killed… CHILDREN!!!!!!! I hate how it only becomes horrifying for him to have done these murders once he realises they’re HUMAN children. Urgal children? The implication is that would’ve been a bit tacky but ultimately fine

Prison brothers blood pact. I feel so little about this. Ubek is 5000x more interesting than Murtagh but he’s been slotted into what is unfortunately a sort of magical indigenous person trope but where instead of being a human being, he is an orc. Which makes the whole trope much worse

Murtagh touched Alìn’s face… gasp! She’s been corrupted by the Touch Of A Man!!!!! (I do not care about this.)

(I care a little. For example she didn’t touch HIM. He just reached out and she didn’t pull away. This is the biggest decision about this character’s life, and she isn’t even allowed to be the one who makes it. He decides on her behalf, and she must be okay with it. Because she doesn’t pull away or fight him off.)

(Also Paolini doesn’t seem to be aware that ‘a woman who has been pledged not to be touched by a man’ would um. USUALLY be understood by a reader as euphemistic. Not that her purity could be forever ruined by a man literally just touching her face)

The way Paolini fills Murtagh’s brainwashed dialogue with oops all ellipses makes me want to tear the book apart with my teeth

Worst: how Grieve the guy who is part urgal is perpetually referred to as “heavy-browed.” “the heavy-browed Grieve” I’m sorry but I missed phrenology school, is that bad??

Also if he’s maybe part Urgal but Murtagh is now given a chance to making it clear that some of his best friends are urgals... Why is Grieve so distastefully described? What’s wrong with being half urgal? My suspicion: it’s the bloodlines intermingling

I suspect I can just skip every fucking dream sequence and flashback. Nothing of any value in these

This one guy, Lyreth, who trapdoored Murtagh for 2.5 seconds ages ago in the book, is TWICE referenced as holding/ touching the waists of “village” or “cultist” women in his dialogue tags. That’s the full extent of it. It’s not that there’s a giggling tavern girl sprawled in his lap while he’s speaking. These faceless women are exclusively sketched into existence by how a named male character’s hand is on their waist. We don’t know anything about how they are responding to his touch, which is extra in-your-face considering that Murtagh just obliterated a woman’s ritual purity by touching her face without asking. And it’s only ever these women’s waist. It’s not their hips or thighs or boobs. He’s not kissing their necks. I’m sure in Paolini’s mind this guy touching women’s waists is meant to read as sexual, which is supposed to reinforce that he’s a scumbag… but it doesn’t work because it’s so impersonal. These women are just… unmoving waists that he is just touching. It serves as a good illustration of how women—and sex and sexuality and bodies—are handled in these books. Men are never ruled by their strong and muscular bodies. Men have minds, and magic, and telepathy battles. Even when Murtagh is on a torture table or when he’s naked in front of a powerful woman who is actively inspecting his body, he doesn’t feel vulnerable. He doesn’t have an ass or a dick. The wind doesn’t make him shiver. He’s just a Mind. But women, well. They only have bodies when men touch them. The course of Alin’s life is defined by Murtagh’s touch, and even Nasuada, a fucking queen, only gets physical description via the coins Murtagh has in his possession and his memory of the cuts and bruises he left on her body. And women also have no minds—unless they’re werecats or elves or half elves, the only kind of woman who are remotely threatening, the only kind of women who are “as good as” the baseline of human men. Nasuada is proven as Murtagh’s equal because she was able to overcome the torture of her body. If he hadn’t tortured her, or if she had broken down, she wouldn’t have proven herself worthy of being his romantic partner.

Eragon’s romantic interest also started out being tortured. Not by him, but “girl who is tortured but is too strong to give up her secrets” was her entire characterisation for a book and a half, until he rescued her. That’s uh. That’s how you find girlfriends who are good enough for your protagonists.

THESE FUCKING BOOKS.

Bachel has put Thorn in a special wrought iron muzzle. Yet again, this is just objectively cool

We learn about who the cult worships: evil dragon underground. He makes fumes come out of the earth and they brainwash people and give them visions. He will come out of the ground and eat the sun unless every living thing worships him.

Really Bachel is not leading a cult she is leading an environmental rescue mission. Quick we gotta get everyone to worship this evil dragon STAT, or he’s going to wipe out all life on earth.

Why does an evil dragon living under the earth with the power to eat the sun (?!??!) actually want or need to be worshipped by “every living thing”. What is his motivation?? And why would that stop him eating the sun?

“The sculptures would have horrified most any artist in Alagaesia, no matter their race.” Mark this down as one of the worst sentences he has written yet!!

I realise now I’ve been misremembering multiple main characters’ names

I like Bachel telling Thorn to stay, like he’s a dog. That’s good to me

Murtagh is learning about the power of friendship to heal himself last minute, I guess

Why is Murtagh pausing to duel fucking Lyreth, the most boring man in the world. Is it because of the waists he touched??? I have never felt this man was worth any time at all

NOT Paolini specifically pointing out that Lyreth “smelled of a cloying peach scented perfume” and that he’s physically weaker than Murtagh as Murtagh overcomes him. Lyreth was too feminine to be strong, in the end

This book is obsessed with the word “youngling.” Murtagh says to Thorn “don’t kill any younglings.” He’s fighting Lyreth but he’s not worried because he himself is “no longer a youngling”. Fucking fuck off! just say youth. Child. Kid. Teenager even!! Come on!!

Murtagh going “this is taking too long” in the duel: me at the whole book thus far

“Is wrong-think to worship Bachel or Azlagur,” says Ubek. This is real dialogue in a book published in real 2023. Oh yeah btw everything he says is written like this

Oh, the urgal’s size and brute strength makes him Murtagh’s equal. I see

Grieve is legitimately yelling “kill the non-believers!!” and calling them desecrators??? Cartoon hours

To start winning the fight, all Murtagh had to do was find his magic sword! It stores all his potency and he inherited it from his father. Freud?? Don’t worry about it

The cultists are bleeding green blood???? Does this mean they’re not human or is it the lighting or what.

Groups of dragons are always being described as a Thunder Of. They’re only ever being described in visions but it’s always being described as “a thunder of dragons”, because Paolini is very proud of inventing his very own collective noun for dragons I guess

Buncha little pasty freaks showing up.

Murtagh’s ultimate challenge: he has to fight one hundred gollums

Paolini inventing new guys for his dungeon at unprecedented rates

Murtagh is legitimately busy trying to think of new names for his sword NOW?? He is just going to stop in the middle of this urgent fight to go find where the bad woman (Bachel) took the good woman (Alìn) to go “my sword has a bad name. It could have a good name.” Did he not have time while he was mouldering in the dungeon to think about this

He’s checking his compendium, like in video games.

Books have never been worse. If Murtagh/Paolini calls this sword Scar I will legitimately never know peace

Oh the sword is called Freedom now. Get it? Like America? It’s the most important value??

“Seeing the armor, Murtagh realized that the leather garb the cultists had donned for the festival of black smoke had been made to resemble Bachel's fantastic suit.”

what a sentence

This is the worst

I hate how her spear has a name and a dramatic history. Like come on

Fucking mind battles again

Alin is just… I’m sorry to her, but she’s not a real person. She’s a cardboard cutout in distress

The final boss fight should not be taking place in the magical world of the mind

Now she’s calling him “infidel?” Okay

The ultimate battle: the structuring power of masculine language versus the primeval chaos of raw women’s emotion!!! Who will win!! Hint: Christopher Paolini wrote this!

“She seemed merely a woman again.”

‘Merely’ is how Paolini always describes women (when he thinks they’re worth describing of course)

Wait… is the only reason Bachel has been intimidating REALLY just because she’s been channelling a tough evil boy dragon? Once the mask is gone and he’s not empowering her… she’s merely…

I’m going to kick Christopher Paolini’s fucking ass

Murtagh feels so emotionally close to Bachel. As he splits her skull. Normal book

For real why were ALL the Riders so afraid of Bachel??? The gas fumes? Face masks not invented?? This seems pretty easy to solve like if they’d just. Sent more than one guy?

He passes out and the chapter ends of course. Then he wakes up in the city

Ah, Alin is blonde and blue eyed. She was a pale skinned virgin who needed rescuing from an evil and also foreign almond eyed amber skinned woman who was whipping her. You know how it goes

I hate how Alìn always calls Murtagh “my lord.” She’s like one of those medieval fighting game banners of a sexy woman. She’s a cartoon.

Isn’t it a shame that when Murtagh hastily gets out of bed to bow to Nasuada he is wearing pants. So much funnier if he wasn’t

I’m so over this book holy shit

Oh, for being the apparently only sole survivor of Murtagh’s obliteration of her cult and everything she’s ever known, Alìn is being promoted to… Nasuada’s maid. That’s not what she asked for. That’s just what she’s being told she’s going to do from now on. Fucking hell.

Nasuada is Jealous of this blonde woman and I was afraid for her because Nasuada is also famously the only black woman on the continent. But of course she has nothing to fear because only the most powerful woman in the land could ever be remotely Murtagh’s equal, which she proved by being stronger at being tortured than him

She asks him to stay and she touches his hand just lightly

The END??

They don’t even kiss?!!!?!! I had to read it twice to be sure. SEXLESS BOOK.

#how do I tag this. probs not in the official tag right #Murtagh: Don’t Read It!!!#DONT READ IT #I can’t believe how much money Christopher Paolini is worth… I also can’t believe he managed to father two children #man doesn’t know what women children OR sex are. how did he manage to solve that equation twice over

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chiefdirector · 9 months

Text

Talking | Tim Bradford | The Rookie

Act One | Chapter 16

I’m in a&e (er for my American friends) so y’all are getting a chapter early

"So, Detective Bradford, what evidence led to the arrest of my client." Wesley asked, pacing back and forth, arms crossed behind his back. He looked at (Y/N) expectedly.

They had been going over trial preparation for the last hour or so. In exchange for his services, (Y/N) brought a take out for them, as well as Tim and Angela. The other two had retreated into the kitchen to have some beers so as to not bore themselves to death.

"The operating detective arrested Mr. Smith of the claim of him being found holding the murder weapon over his dead fiancé."

"That proves nothing. Could he not have just picked it up in the heat of the moment? It must have been pretty traumatic for him. People act irrationally in moments of crisis."

"He could've but he didn't." (Y/N) rebutted, leaning further into the couch. "He practically confessed."

"There's no "practically" about it, detective. Either there is hard evidence that my client did this or you have arrested an innocent man going through one of the most terrifying things that one could experience."

(Y/N) flicked through the case file she had been given to build her testimony around. The acting detective hadn't been all too thorough as they were sure it was a clean cut case. Letting out a small "ha!" She smugly presented Wesley with a sheet of paper. "Here you will find the prints we ran on the gun. Only one set, belonging to Mr Smith. Any more questions?"

"No more questions at this time," he said, finally sitting down and reaching for the beer Angela had brought through to him a little while back. "You did good. Just keep that energy up and you'll be fine."

(Y/N) sighed, "You think? Court was never my strong suit."

"Yeah. I'd challenge you in the courtroom any day."

"No thanks. This was hard enough." (Y/N) laughed, leaning her head back to look into the kitchen, watching Tim and Angela bicker about something. "You wanna call them through or should I?"

"Actually," Wesley stood up, "I should probably get her home before something stronger comes out. You know how those too get."

"Oh god, don't remind me."

It didn't take long for Wesley to gather Angela up and make a quick departure. Once Tim had closed the door behind them, he made his way back into the kitchen where (Y/N) had begun to clear up. Dishes were stacked up high in the sink and bottles littered the counters.

"God, how much did you drink," she said, turning to face her husband. "It looks like the remnants of a brewery made a home here."

"Hardly any and not nearly as much as Angela, I always forget how much that woman can drink." Tim moved forwards, pacing his hands on (Y/N)'s hips, bringing her body into his. Softly he kissed her, "Leave all this for tomorrow."

"And what will we do now," she said, leaning in to kiss him again.

Quickly, he moved his grip on to hold her waist. Swinging one arm under her legs, he picked her up bridal style, moving towards the bedroom. "I can think of something."

- - - - -

"You look happy," Angela teased as she walked over to (Y/N)'s desk. "Too happy."

(Y/N) didn't look up to respond to her, knowing the direction Angela wanted this conversation to go. She didn't want to humour her friend but she also knew that if Angela wanted to do something, it would happen. "Can I not be happy? Is that against the rules?"

"Not at this time in the morning you can't." She said moving round the desk to lean over (Y/N)'s shoulder, now whispering. "Somebody got laid."

(Y/N) let out a breathy laugh. Shaking her head, (Y/N) continued to type. "And someone's trying to live vicariously through me. Having a dry spell, are we?"

"Not at all. But as much as I like talking to you about this, I have a suspect on the store robbery; his name is Damian Barrett. I'm sending Harper and Nolan to bring them in..."

"Right, okay? What do you need from me?"

Angela smiled, "Nothing. I just wanted to say 'hi.'"

"Bullshit," (Y/N) leaned back in her chair, finally turning to face Angela who had decided to perch on the surface, "Also, that isn't a chair."

Lopez rolled her eyes as she got down. "I do have a reason for coming here though. Patrice is on my case about this wedding."

"And Patrice is...?

"Wesley's mom." She took out her phone, scrolling through her messages to show (Y/N) "This is just from last week. I need help."

"Don't ask me, Tim and I almost eloped. A lot less fuss and mess." (Y/N) smiled as she absently played with her rings, "I say go to the courthouse and throw a party or something after."

"You're wedding was lovely. How did you do it?"

"I didn't have much to do with it. It was all Grey and Tim."

Angela raised her eyebrow, "Sargent Grey? Sargent Grey as in the Sargent Grey who works here and was your boss helped plan your wedding?"

"Yeah," (Y/N) said, smiling as the memory came back to her. "Grey nearly lost his head when I mentioned eloping. Something about how it would be a 'tragedy' and that it would happen over his dead body."

"Great," Lopez sighed, moving back towards her desk. "You are no help."

"Hey," she laughed, "You asked me!"

- - - - -

It was only mere moments after Angela had returned to her own desk did she approach (Y/N) again, this time her easy-going demeanour had hardened into something more serious. She had their shared case file tucked under her arm.

"Harper and Nolan found our friend and put in interrogation. He's waiting on us. Seems like bad news, but like I said, he's only a suspect and we have got nothing concrete. We're going to try for a confession," Angela said, taking off, not leaving (Y/N) to question her any further.

With a small sigh, she got up to follow Angela to the interrogation room. She was going to let her take the lead, it was her case after all, she only came onto the case as a consulting detective. Besides, by the looks of the case, (Y/N) thought it may be an easy win.

Act One | Chapter 16 | Chapter 18

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Tags: @xceafh @kmc1989 @buba424 @salty0cracker @iamasimpingh0e @malindacath @agentred27

Tags are open :)

#tim bradford #tim bradford x reader #tim bradford imagine #the rookie #the rookie imagine #chiefdirector #bottom of the river

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lunastarhawk · 18 days

Text

When the Stars Align

Tides of Memories part 27

I had a lot of fun with this part, I feel like I reconnected with Julian and Altheia again, and moved the story on to a good place. It's the first of three climaxes to the past two years of work, with shenanigans and smut along the way. I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out :)

Summary

After an early birthday party in the newly-renovated rooftop garden, Julian and Altheia set sail for Nevivon aboard their new ship. But before the end of their voyage, the stars align, and Julian is able to put everything he has learnt about the sea, the stars, magic and himself, towards a spell that could change their lives forever.

This is effectively a loooonnnggg rewrite of the 'one month later' scene in Julian's route's epilogue, if you squint.

Excerpt

“I should be wearing something more… wizard-y,” he said as he worked. “Don’t you think?” Altheia raised an amused eyebrow. “‘Wizard-y’?” “Yes! Like a robe. Bright and gaudy colours. Maybe a hat.” He smiled as he heard Altheia’s laugh. “Brightly coloured robes and hats aren’t a requirement for magic use, my love.” “All the fortune tellers and magicians doing tricks in Goldgrave seem to think they are.” As Julian talked, he crossed the deck back to the desk and took the bottles of ink and four clean quills from the drawer. “That’s just for show,” Altheia said, humouring him. “They’re just trying to attract customers, make a show of it.” “I suppose I don’t need to make a show when it’s just you and I, hmm?” “And I!” That voice, lilting and velvety, startled Julian so hard he nearly dropped the ink bottles. He hurried back to where he’d laid out the papers, set the bottles down, and then leaned forward onto the stern rail. There, narrow head raised a little out of the water, was the serpentine form of the Knight of Cups.

“Oh!” Julian exclaimed. “It’s you!” “It is!” Something like a grin pulled the Knight’s lipless, jade-green mouth. “I couldn’t keep my curiosity at bay, I’m afraid.” Julian suspected that wasn’t really the reason for the minor Arcana’s appearance. “How are you here? Shouldn’t you be in the Cups realm? I thought the Arcana couldn’t travel between realms?” “Questions, questions!” The Knight twirled in a circle as he chuckled. “Did you forget? Only the Major Arcana are so restricted. The rest of us can travel as we please. My realm is wherever there is water. That’s why you’re here! In the sea! Well… not in the sea. Floating on it. But close enough.” Beside the Knight, two purple-blue betta fish the size of Julian’s torso suddenly jumped out of the water in an arc; Julian recognised them. “The Two of Cups, is it?” “Yes! They’re here, too.” Julian thought back to a few weeks ago, when he’d pulled the Two of Cups from Asra’s tarot deck while travelling in a carriage with him. Asra told him it represented the bond between Julian and Altheia, and realised that the strength of the bond was, in effect, the result of what had amounted to a deal between each other when they’d confessed their love for each other while chained by the Devil. He realised then that neither the Knight nor the Two were there out of simple curiosity. “The magic you seek relies on emotion,” the Knight said breezily. “Yours and Altheia’s. That’s why you’re here, on a ship, close to the realm of Cups, the realm of emotion. Do you see?” Julian stared for a moment into the golden eyes of the Arcana. “I… do. I think.” The eel-like form of the Knight rose up out of the water, enough to be almost at eye level with Julian. His gaze flicked down Julian’s body from head to foot and back again, and in an almost melancholic tone he said, “A shirt and trousers? I would have gone for something with a little more… panache.” “Something wizard-y? Brightly coloured robes?” “Yes! And maybe a hat.” Julian turned and looked back at Altheia with a ‘told you so’ grin.

The rest is on AO3 :)

#the arcana #the arcana fanfiction #julian devorak #julian devorak fanfiction #tides of memories #altheia featherstone #the arcana game #i'm screaming but i'm having fun #<- that's a writing tag

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lightflame · 6 months

Text

Tagged by @bagadew (Also tagging in @waermeflasche because you tagged me weeks ago and I didn't get back to you)

Last song I listened to: Soap by The Oh Hellos. I burn CDs and listen to them in my car. (The first few I tried to give themes and titles, and select the perfect song orders, but ended up kind of bad and the other was cursed and wouldn't play even though I remade it three times, so I just switched to throwing a ton of songs together on "Random Mixes" and enjoying.) I was listening to my very first random mix on the drive home from work and this one came up. It's a pretty snazzy song. I think Theseus and Hello, My Old Heart are my favourites from the band.

Last book I read: Can I do a couple? I just recently finished Play of Shadows by Sebastien de Castell. It's the first book of Court of Shadows, the sequel series to his Greatcoats series. Greatcoats is one of my favourite series, filled with swashbuckling action, clever humour, and an absolutely miserable protagonist, Falcio val Mond, who always manages to get back up and keep going anyway. I read everything de Castell writes, and after a string of books with severe pacing problems (check out The Malevolent Seven for a book that doesn't have a second act) and other problems (I have a hard time seeing any book topping Crucible of Chaos as the worst book I've read this year), he finally seems to be back. The book didn't pack quite the emotional punch of some of his other books, but it definitely made me want to jump up and cheer for the heroes at the end.

The other book I just finished is The Warm Hands of Ghosts by Katherine Arden. I liked her Winternight Trilogy (look it up and be prepared for some absolutely gorgeous covers, with prose to match), so I was excited to see something new from her. This book was about World War I, with some fantasy elements used for magic realism. (Portraying a soldier's struggle with addiction and PTSD through the lens of him losing his soul to the devil was a brilliant idea.) I most subsist on a steady diet of fantasy books, but this one had me hungering to read a few more historical books. I might have to pick up some books about the Halifax Explosion.

Last film I watched: I haven't watched much on my own for a while, but my friends do a movie night every Sunday. The last two times I tuned in, we watched Jesus Christ Superstar and Pokemon 3: Spell of the Unown. They were both fairly cute movies. I liked Judas's actor.

Last TV series I watched: I've been making my way through The Office for the first time. I'm on Season 3 and this happened to me, actually. There was some stuff I was like, "Wow, that was funny. I should tell my coworkers about it," but then I realized that I can't be the guy who tells his coworkers about this funny new show called The Office.

Last video game I played: If visual novels count, Umineko. I've been working my way through it slowly for about five and a half years and I'm finally closing in on the end. It's peak fiction and the greatest love story of the twentieth century. It's also funny I picked a game this insanely long for my first visual novel. Other than visual novels, I just finished Pokemon Legends: Arceus, after putting in 104 hours this year. Completing the Dex is my favourite part of any Pokemon game, so having it be more involved and include a big checklist made the game basically crack for me. I've also been casually playing some Star Wars: Battlefront II (2005) with my brother. Every time we play it, I'm always amazed by how good it is and how much content it has. I want to take command posts forever.

Last thing I googled: "Dandadan Aira". I just started the manga the other day and I like her best, so I wanted to double check her full name, I think? Other than that I'm mostly looking up when books are available at my local stores. I've been religiously checking when The Book that Broke the World will be available and I'm not even sure if I'm buying it.

Last thing I ate: A few snacks from my snack drawer. I also had a Quaker yogurt bar at work. I bought a big box of them last year, but I had to throw them out because of the Salmonella. (Chewed through a lot of them before that came out, though, including eating three on an airplane.)

Amount of sleep: Supposedly seven hours, since I went to bed right after finishing The Warm Hands of Ghosts last night. The only problem is that if I get to bed at a good time, I sleep fitfully, so I'm either sleeping poorly or sleeping well, but not getting anywhere near enough sleep.

Currently reading: I started Empire of Silence, the first book of The Sun Eater by Christopher Ruocchio, at work today. I've had the first three books sitting on my shelf for a year or two and I finally got around to starting it. (I'd resolved to do both this series and Kushiel's Legacy this year, after having both for so long, and I got that one done at the start.) I'm not very far in, but I enjoy the writing style a lot, even if a lot of the worldbuilding is obviously cribbed from Dune. (Whoa, look, mentats.) I've heard it picks up a lot in the second book, so I'm excited for what's in store for me.

Passing this on, I'll tag @somerunner @lyssq @soulsinshadow @lunawithsocks and @dancerladyaqua. (They also have currently watching and sweet, salty, or savoury as questions, which I didn't do.)

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cuffmeinblack · 1 year

Note

If you're still doing the prompts, can I request #14 with Leander? If not, that's ok too! 🖤

Oblivious

Leander Prewett x gn!reader

Tags: fluff

550 words

"oh, shit. I'm in love with you??" prompt: 14. they laugh at your 'not-so-funny' jokes

A/n: Absolutely!! Obviously had to drag Garreth into it, too.

"May I remind you of Puffskein Dunkein?"

Garreth quirked an eyebrow, returning to his food with a chuckle. He'd listened to your riveting and hilarious story with the absolute best pun you'd ever concocted and he didn't think you were funny?

"Yes, the name is funny, but that was years ago. You got lucky once."

"Leander thinks I'm funny," you said defensively.

"Leander laughs at your jokes because...well, it's not because you're a comedic genius."

"What's that meant to mean?"

Garreth looked around the table uncomfortably, clearly regretting opening his mouth. No amount of pressing was getting any more information out of him, and you left the dinner table in a huff to seek out Leander.

"There you are!" you said, weaving your way through the common room towards the coiffed red hair.

"Here I am, right where I said I'd be," Leander replied with a soft smile that illicited a surprising tightening in your chest.

"I have something to tell you."

Leander sat forward, leaning his elbows on his long legs as you settled opposite him. His freckled face was painted with interest and slight trepidation; you were rarely so serious.

Breaking the spell, you launched into your story, relaying the details with enthusiasm as he blinked in surprise and an amused smile crossed his face. He laughed in the right places; that sort of melodic chuckle that made your face warm. Your grand finale, the pun which Garreth had termed the worst he'd ever heard was delivered and he laughed. A great belly laugh, definitely not deserved but nevertheless all for you.

Oh Gods, Garreth was right. Assuming you were not, in fact, the funniest person alive, Leander definitely laughed at your not-so-funny jokes for an entirely different reason. You'd been studying his face as you talked and not failed to notice the way his gaze flicked between your eyes and down to your mouth. You were also aware of the way his thumb and forefinger idly stroked gentle circles around each other as he concentrated; which was frankly very distracting.

The fact that he deigned to humour your poor attempts at comedy was...heartwarming. You got up, relocating yourself next to him on the armchair as he shuffled to give you space, watching you with wide eyes.

"Leander."

"Y-yes?"

"Do you laugh at my jokes because you think I'm funny or because of...some other reason?"

The question caught him off guard and he looked down at you with parted lips, stuttering and blushing. That had been all the confirmation you needed. Idiot boy. Idiotic, absolutely... ridiculous... bloody amazing and...

Leander stopped stuttering when you pressed your mouth against his, warmth and affection flooding your body. Those lips that had smiled for you throughout your stories were every bit as soft as they looked. The fingers that had distracted you so much during your retelling were now laced through your hair, only loosening as you finally broke apart. The funniest part of the whole encounter had not been your jokes, but your utter obliviousness.

"Do me a favour?" you asked breathlessly.

"Oh, anything!"

"Instead of laughing at my unfunny jokes, maybe just kiss me to shut me up instead?"

#i really had to try not to turn this into smut #leander prewett #leander prewett x reader #leander prewett drabble #leander prewett fanfiction

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glasswinggames · 19 days

Text

"You can't seriously be working on your birthday?!"

"Well, good day to you too," the mage looks over the top of his glasses disapprovingly. "Perhaps we need to call your ettiquette teacher back, as that was no way to greet someone."

"You're changing the subject." The corner of his mouth twitches at your astute observeration. "Hana said you don't celebrate your birthday?"

"That's quite right, I see no need to. If my twin sister wants such engagements for herself, then I see no problem humouring her, but I hardly need a whole song and dance just to commemorate the day I was born." Helios sighs as it's very clear that you're not happy with that answer. "Look, thousands of babies are born daily, it's hardly a unique achievement, so I see no need to make a fuss about it."

"It's not about the achievement, it's about the people who love you wanting to show that they're happy you were born and are here." Your chin and arms rest nicely on the edge of his desk, looking up at his blue eyes with a gentle smile as you try to get through his fifty layers of stubbornness. "It's unique because there will only ever be one you."

"You wouldn't happen to be one of those people, would you?"

"I am." You nod so resolutely that even he seems surprised, "I love and want to celebrate you."

The Archduke looks away, but there is no hiding the light crimson blush that reaches the back of his neck. "Fine."

"Fine?!"

"Fine, I'll humour you, but nothing too extravagant or I'm going back to work and taking back your key to my office."

"Aye aye Captain! Get ready and meet me at the tower roof!"

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing now?"

But you're already gone.

Maybe he shouldn't have taught you that teleportation spell?

---

"I still don't see why I had to change." Helious doesn't announce his entrance as he appears at your side. He had changed into robes of various hues of blue, some heavier and more tightly bound around his body, and others more floating, making him look as if he's floating. It kind of reminds you of the hanbok on Earth. It's only when he catches you looking does he explain the difference in style from his usual outfits. "This is traditional wear in Kohira, there are different levels, but this is one for light celebrations."

"It suits you." You can't help but smile as he only hums in response, for someone so confident, he's really bad at accepting compliments sometimes.

"What are we doing here? I'm surprised I didn't arrive to see a full blown surprise gala."

"You wouldn't have enjoyed that, though." You love how you catch him by surprise when you say things like that. To you it'd be obvious not to celebrate in a way the birthday boy hated, but to high society? You were expected to suck it up. "I just thought we could watch the lanterns, and send some up ourselves."

In the North, it was tradition to send up lanterns on someone's birthday to wish them well for the coming year. For the Archduke, the whole region got involved, with festivals and celebrations held across the cities.

Of course Helios had no idea about that.

"I worry you'll be disappointed, it's not such a dramatic sight. But, I suppose it's been a few years since I've upheld the tradition, so I may as well partake with you. At least there'll be two in the skies."

"Yes yes, thank you for taking one for the team." You nudge him with your shoulder, and he responds with the patience of someone who had grown up with three sisters. "Oh look, they're starting now!"

You point out to the skyline, where one or two specks of light suddenly appear.

"That's nice, the lights are pretty." He was trying to reassure you, make you feel better about the poor turnout. "Shall we set off ones--"

For once, he is rendered speechless as he is interrupted by a burst of light that bursts up over the Archdukedom. Lanterns from every corner fly up like a sea of fireflies. Illuminating the skies like stars.

"What the--"

"Helios?"

He turns around to see you, surrounded by lanterns as you release them. Dozens upon dozens surge upwards, powered by the magic circles drawn on their surface.

"These are all my well wishes for you! Happy Birthday Helios!"

"Have I ever told you that you're crazy?"

"Many times."

"Apparently not enough."

Though he says this, even he can't stop the soft smile that has taken over his sharp features. This is perhaps the most emotional you'd seen him, as he struggles to process his feelings.

"Do you want to send one up?" You bring him a final lantern that you'd reserved just for him.

"... Sure." He hesitates, but as he looks out at the lanterns that just keep going, more and more being added to the fray, he surprisingly agrees. "You added my symbol."

"Of course, wouldn't want anyone to get confused who they're for."

"Silly."

Unlike the others below, Helios needs no magic stone to set off the lantern. A blue light surrounds his hands as he writes a magic circle in his kind, and then, the lantern bobs up slowly and gently. It's a level of materia control you're yet to possess.

You both watch the light fly up to the sky, joining the parade of others. Neither of you need any words, the magic of the moment is enough on its own.

You feel a sudden weight on your shoulder, only to find it is Helios resting his head.

"Just let me stay like this for a while even if it's uncomfortable. It's my birthday, after all." It takes everything in you not to burst out laughing, just in case you shake him too much and frighten him away. So you stifle your chuckles behind your hand and change the subject.

"What did you wish for?"

"I can't tell you that."

"I didn't take you for the superstitious type?"

"I'm not, those are the rules of the tradition, why would I break them?"

"That is so you."

...

"Helios?"

He hums quietly in response, the last of the nights filling up the night sky, just small dots in your vision, but neither of you want to move until the last disappears.

"I'm so happy you were born, and that you're here. I'm lucky to have met you."

Liquid blue eyes look up at you momentarily, revealing flushed cheeks that you know he'd lie and say were from the cold air. In the end he can't say anything, but just slips his hand into your own and gives it a squeeze.

"Happy Birthday, Helios."

----

Art by @/uranyaart on twitter/X

#vn #ever after: twisted secrets #visual novel #amare #dating sim #glasswinggames #indie dev #otome #it's Helis birthday!!#Helios #He is so bad at expressing emotion #I love this nerd though

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mod-kyoko · 1 year

Note

Oh~ how about another prompt with Miu where she has actually has a boyfriend, which is a surprise to her entire class, and personality wise, he's the opposite of her. He's kind and polite and a bit shy. Everyone is like, why is he dating miu, and isn't the relationship a bit toxic with shuichi and kaede being the only two to really support the relationship. Though when asked why he's dating Miu, his answer is that he finds miu to be adorable and loves every part of her. And Miu overhears this and is super embarrassed but also touched.

miu iruma w/ total opposite boyfriend

info: male!reader, established relationship, slight nsfw mentions, miu does what miu does best, around 1,900 words

type: oneshot format, non-despair au

a/n: I have a feeling you like miu a lot, not that I blame you at all I wrote this in a oneshot format just to make it flow better

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

it was a normal day in homeroom, students of class 53 formed small groups and talked amongst each other softly. it was oddly peaceful this morning. shuichi looked around and hummed in thought.

"isn't it more quiet than usual...?" he asked to his circle of friends who were kaede, kaito and maki.

"now that you mentioned it... it does feel quiet, did something happen?" kaede pondered.

"that's a surprise considering kaito is here..." maki said in her usual sarcastic and deadpan tone, to which kaito grunted in response.

"hey! I can be quiet too!" he rubbed the back of his neck. "but you're right, something doesn't feel quite right... like we're missing something."

as if on cue, the door was kicked open and a certain blonde genius proudly made her entrance.

"....that's why." maki growled.

"good fuckin' mornin' you lonely sons of bitches!" miu laughed harshly with her hands on her hips, walking into homeroom and lounging herself over her desk.

"miu... you seem very high in spirits." kirumi commented, gently nudging miu's shoes off of the desk. miu smirked and leaned back on her chair, putting her arms behind her head.

"who could blame me? anyone would be happy to be a beautiful girl like me!"

"doooooubt it." kokichi butted in with a sing-song voice. "was there a discount on scented vibrators or something?" he stuck his tongue out with a wink. miu went red and sat up properly, clenching her fists.

"no you fuckin' dwarf! since you're so damn nosey i'll tell ya..." she gestured for the others to come in close as a proud smirk stretched upon her face. "I, miu fuckin' iruma, girl genius and incarnation of beauty itself... has a boyfriend!"

suddenly the room went very quiet and all of her classmates turned to her with variations of surprise.

then kokichi started laughing. "bahahaha! good joke, miu! i had no idea such a bitch-brain like yourself was capable of decent humour!"

miu clenched her jaw. "shut the fuck up, you little shit! it's not a damn joke!"

"oh... oh you're being serious? it's not a lie?" kokichi raised an eyebrow. "you have a boyfriend?"

"inventions don't count as boyfriends, miu..." maki cut herself in, for once actually working along side kokichi and sharing their disbelief. before miu could bite back, maki sighed and crossed her arms. "whatever... who would even want to date you?"

"tch! you're just fuckin' jealous i have charm and beauty!" miu pouted, scratching her temple with a slight blush on her face. "it's y/n... y'know, the guy in the class below us?"

if anyone wasn't shocked before, they certainly were now.

"y/n... y/n l/n? are you sure?" even kirumi couldn't hide the fact that such a person like miu could bag a person like... him.

"even though he's a degenerate male... i never thought he was your type, miu!"

"kehehehe... like the tales of a forbidden love between an angel and a demon..."

"nya-ha-ha! you must be truly blessed by atua, miu!"

"there's no way you didn't cast a high seduction spell on him..."

"yeesh... poor guy... he probably couldn't even say no..."

all these influxes of doubts and jokes, it made miu curl into herself on her chair, eyes darting around at the mocking faces. why the hell did they not believe her?! and why was she starting to doubt herself too...?

in the sea of everyone else, kaede's words cut through them all.

"come on guys, that's enough!" she puffed up her chest. "i think it's really nice that miu found a special someone! who are we to judge?" she gently nudges shuichi who snaps out of his thoughts, clearing his throat and nodding.

"y-yeah...I think it's great you've found someone, miu."

miu felt a little better about it although she didn't show that she appreciated the two's support, she just stands up with a grin on her face. "i'll prove to you that me and him are made for each other, like antony and cleopatra!" she whips around to kaede and shuichi. "you can both be my witnesses! let's meet at the diner after school!"

"oh I've got to see this.. I'm coming too." kokichi said with a devious smirk. maki chuckled under her breath as well.

"I don't normally do this... but i'll come too just to see you fail."

"tch... get ready to be proved fuckin' wrong..." miu had to keep her word now, should be easy enough right?

after school, kaede, shuichi, kokichi and maki all went together to the nearby diner that miu specifically told them to go to. the diner wasn't that busy at all, with the occasional tired worker coming in for a cup of coffee.

the group had been waiting 20 minutes and miu still hadn't arrived with her supposed 'boyfriend'.

kokichi groaned out loud, reeling back as he tugged on his own hair. "aaargh... can we just order now? i'm hungry!" he whined.

"no, kokichi! we need to wait for miu and y/n!" kaede scolded him for his lack of patience which only made him groan louder.

"should it be taking this long, though? I hope everything is alright..." shuichi hummed, looking out of the window for any sign of the blonde.

"maybe she was just bluffing about this boyfriend..." maki sighed. "what a waste of my time... I'm leaving." she began to stand up yet a familiar voice caused her to sit down.

"hey dumbasses!" there was miu, with her arm linked around a timid-looking young man who followed behind her like a lost puppy. this would be... you.

"feast your lucky eyes on this cutie!" miu pointed her thumb towards you and you immediately felt embarrassed, rubbing your hands together, managing to throw a gentle wave.

"H-hi... it's nice to meet some of miu's friends..." you tried to speak confidently yet your voice cracked on the first word.

"we're not friends." maki spoke up quickly, leaning her cheek into her hand as she huffed. she was hoping that she could leave quickly but now she actually had to stay.

"maki!" kaede sighed softly, turning to you and giving a friendly smile. "it's good to meet you too, y/n! i've seen you around school but we haven't officially met. I'm kaede, and this is shuichi, maki and kokichi!" kaede gestured to who the names belonged to, shuichi gives a smile of his own, maki just gives a lazy attempt of a wave whilst kokichi was... staring with a straight-face.

"tsk... why the fuck you suddenly so quiet for, cock-itchy?! cat got your dick or something?" miu suddenly got defensive, tugging your arm closer to her. kokichi kept the straight face for a moment... then suddenly smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

"kokichi oma! charmed, i'm sure!" he extended his hand out to you, you were about to shake it until miu suddenly grabbed your wrist.

"don't grab it! he's got some shock toy for sure!" miu spat with venom, you quickly put your hand back to your side. kokichi sighed.

"buzz-kill!" he giggled like a little imp.

soon enough you were sitting down with miu's friends, ordering your food and just making idle chatter although you were quiet. it was true then... miu did have a boyfriend and quite the unlikely person too. admittedly, shuichi was starting to worry about you. he supported the relationship, of course but... would it really be okay? miu was loud, pushy and... overbearing, you didn't come off the type to enjoy that at least, that's what shuichi was starting to gather.

after eating, miu yawned her heart out and stretched. "welp, this golden girl is going to have a golden shit in the bathroom, don't fuckin' leave without me!"

"too much info..." maki grimaced.

"be right back, cute stuff." miu ruffled your hair as she stood up, you smiled and nodded your head with a gentle blush.

"o-okay, babe..." you watched your girlfriend make her way to the bathroom, once she was out of your sight you looked down at the table sort of in silence. you weren't exactly the type to initiate conversation.

"okay so... biiiiiiiiig question..." kokichi put his hands behind his head and leaned back against the booth. "how much did miu pay you for this?" this question caught you off guard and you looked at kokichi dumbfounded. kaede sighed, facepalming in complete disappointment.

"w... what...?"

"come ooooon... there's no way a guy like you wants a seething whore like her, right? there's gotta be a catch!"

you frowned, scratching your cheek and shaking your head. "no... I want to be with her..."

kokichi looked confused. "uh... what was that now?"

"yeah... are you serious?" maki leaned in closer against the table to look at your face as if she was searching for something. "you do realise how she is, right? she's a thorn in the backside... and loud, and cocky..." maki grumbled.

"I know..." you shifted around in your seat nervously, looking off to the side and a smile melted on your face. "but... I actually like that about her a lot... she's really confident and... she's really cute when she gets all excited about her inventions... I love listening to her talk, actually..."

"awww...." kaede smiled warmly at your words whilst clutching her chest.

you giggled. "miu is actually really sweet when you get to know her... I think she's perfect for me, actually... she's confident when I'm not... I think people judge her too much... but under the surface she's just a warm, caring person... I love her a lot and she's really beautiful, and smart..." you chuckled, shaking your head. "sorry, i'm probably gushing so much... but.. it's the truth of how I feel..."

the table was silent; kaede was still tearful at the beautiful display of love you possessed for someone like miu, shuichi was smiling a little bit and now he understood it... you two were actually perfect for eachother. maki seemed in thought but... she seemed less likely to make fun of it now. kokichi stared at you again, only to sigh a few moments after.

"well, he isn't lying... but jeez... boooooooooooring!"

"look who's fuckin' talking!" miu came back from the bathroom, glaring daggers down at kokichi. you immediately tense up with a bright red blush on your face.

"m.. miu..? did you hear that...?"

miu sits down next to you, raising an eyebrow with a confused expression. "huh? hear what? all I heard was dickhead over there being an annoyance!" she growled directly at kokichi, who stuck his tongue out. you sighed in relief, you couldn't handle the embarrassment if she knew what you were saying about her... maybe another day you can say it to her face...

miu heard everything. she heard the voices when she had left the bathroom but hid around the corner to listen. did you really mean all those things you said about her...? you thought she was beautiful and smart? of course she was! she was miu iruma! but... when it came from you... it just felt all the more special. she had to take several minutes to calm her blush before walking back, she just couldn't believe how cute you were...

she looked over to you chatting away to shuichi and she smiled softly. her hand gently took yours underneath the table, squeezing it and running her thumb over your knuckles. it was satisfying to see the tint of red on your cheeks yet you squeezed her hand back.

she was so happy that she met you, all the more happy that she could call you her boyfriend.

⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡⟡♡

-Mod Kirumi

#mod kirumi #danganronpa #danganronpa headcanons #danganronpa imagines #oneshot #v3 killing harmony #danganronpa v3 #miu iruma #miu x reader #male reader

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ciaossu-imagines · 10 months

Note

Imagine Anna wanting to go trick-or-treating with everyone else. How do you think they would react to the idea and how do you think everyone would dress up?

Oh, this is such a cute ask! Thanks so much for sending it in and I hope you'll enjoy the headcanons!

Okay, but I can definitely see this being a thing. I don't really think Halloween is celebrated in the same way in Japan but we're going to set aside cultural differences for this ask and use more Western standards of Halloween, like trick or treating so please don't come for me haha.

Now, Anna has obviously never been trick or treating in her life, given her past and then coming to HOMRA, where trick or treating takes second place to drinking and partying on Halloween. So when she hears about the custom, it really intrigues her and she does kind of want to do it. It takes her a couple of weeks though to really get her mind made up enough and to feel confident enough to go and tell someone how much she wants to try it out.

Of course, everyone is kind of supportive of Anna getting to experience it and they'll all kind of help in their own ways. Izumo does have to stay at the bar, or so he declares, so he offers to help Anna shop for her costume but does beg out of actually taking her out. Both him and Totsuka (I'll setting this before he dies, for once) agree that Mikoto is too intimidating to take Anna out trick or treating…he'd scare everyone answering the door and there's worries Anna would end up with no candy and a less than ideal Halloween experience so it's decided he'll stay at the bar with Kusanagi, something Mikoto isn't exactly fighting against.

However, it is Halloween night, there's a lot of mischief and parties and just tomfoolery going on and there's some worry that, while everyone knows Totsuka is more than capable, maybe it's not the best idea that just the two of them goes. So Kusanagi voluntells everyone else in the main part of the HOMRA gang to take her out and also voluntells them that they're getting dressed up to do so, to make Anna's Halloween the best it can be.

There is a lot of fighting around this and some members might not have walked out of that fighting without some new bumps and scrapes.

Totsuka is all in though. He helps shop for Anna's costume and she goes as a princess, because she is the princess of HOMRA, and they spend far too much to get her the absolute top of the line princess costume…she demands they buy her a prop sword as well though because she wants to be a warrior princess.

Totsuka himself goes as a zombie and he had actually gone through a spell where he got really into special effects makeup and prosthetics so he's actually really excited to whip those skills back out. He looks surprisingly horrifying and he has fun helping out anyone else who needs him with their costumes. Totsuka still would have come as a zombie even if this had been set post death because I have a warped sense of humour.

Shouhei doesn't really fight the idea much. If they take Anna out early enough, he's more than okay with it. In fact, he's a little excited to be able to go out trick or treating again, because he was definitely one of those people who trick or treated until they started getting refused candy for being too old. He's even okay with dressing up because he was going to dress up for a Halloween party he was going to later on that night anyway. He just makes it very clear that he has to leave by a certain time…there's about three or four parties he's already agreed to make an appearance at so it's going to be a busy night for him. He had planned on just dressing up like a 50's greaser or a biker, but he lets Anna choose his costume for him and she dresses him as a pirate. He's not honestly all that disappointed as it's a pretty sweet costume.

Bandou, on the other hand? He was definitely one of the people who fought the decision. He's way too old to be out trick or treating, even just taking someone else out trick or treating, and the very idea embarrasses him. Besides, there's this online game he plays that has this huge event going on just on Halloween night and he can't miss out on all that special, one of a kind loot and skins and such. He's scowling until he starts getting free candy and then all of a sudden warms up to the occassion. He claims to be dressed up as a 'rapper' but honestly, he's just wearing his normal clothes with the only addition being the gaudiest, biggest, flashiest chains he could find.

Chitose had to be dragged along, and was the one who fought it the hardest. Do you know how many slutty nurses and Halloween cat costumes he's missing doing this?? He dresses as a 'serial killer', which is just his normal clothes and a big ass (supposedly fake) knife because all serial killers pretty much look like normal people. Or at least that's his excuse. It surprises no one when only a couple blocks in, they take Anna up to the door and come back to find Chitose has just kind of disappeared.

Dewa is the only one to actually win the fight to not go…and it's only because his excuse of having a shift at his part time job that night was proven to be legit when Kusanagi checked it out. He pretends to be very sad he'll miss the occasion and says he wishes he could be there to see Anna enjoy her Halloween…word he regrets as Totsuka took him seriously and sends him pictures and videos throughout the night. Most of the other boys follow Totsuka's lead, some out of pure spite for Dewa's 'good luck', and Dewa is driven half crazy until he just turns off his phone.

Eric has never experienced trick or treating or really Halloween in general so he's a little confused at first. It becomes the goal of certain members to make sure that, since this is Eric and Anna's first Halloween experience, it be the most amazing one for the both of them. He gets bought a knight costume and happily plays Anna's knight for the evening and is surprised by just how many houses insist on giving him candy too despite him not being a little kid. All in all, he has a lot more fun than his complaining and swearing lets on.

Fujishima really didn't care one way or another. I headcanon him as having younger neighbours that he got asked to take out trick-or-treating once he reached middle school and stopped going out himself so this is kind of routine and common for him. He dresses up like a dog. Legit, he wears a full on mascot suit that is definitely not a fursuit (if he was to have a fursona, it would not be a dog, thank you very much). He makes sure to say thank you to everyone who gives him candy and makes sure the others do as well.

Yata pretended to hate the order to take Anna out but honestly, he's a little excited to go trick-or-treating again. Plus he gets to play protector for Anna for the evening as Kusanagi and Totsuka point out to him and he feels very proud to be trusted that much with Homra's princess. He puts a lot of work into his costume, choosing to go as Tony Hawk…nobody gets it and he gets the least amount of candy behind Chitose and Bandou.

Kamamoto is so in. Everyone deserves a night of free candy when they're young. He has so many fond memories of trick or treating himself and he definitely does everything he can to make the night the best. He's also the only one to think to bring along extra pillowcases so that they all can continue to trick or treat after their buckets get full. Due to all the community connections he has, he also kind of snoops out ahead of time which neighbourhoods are going to be giving out the best candy and makes sure that Anna gets to hit all of those. He doesn't really go overboard on his costume - there's not a lot of options for plus size male costumes honestly, and he just kind of cobbles together a hobo outfit for Halloween.

#replies #headcanons #k project #project k #anna kushina #mikoto suoh #izumo kusanagi #totsuka tatara #shouhei akagi #akagi shouhei #bandou saburouta #chitose yo #dewa masaomi #kousuke fujishima #eric solt #eric surt #yata misaki #kamamoto rikio #homra

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abitchnamedtia · 1 year

Text

NSFW alphabet : Alastor Moody

!! I don't own Harry Potter and I don't support JKR !!

Also, english isn't my first language sorry

Infos : GN reader, fluff

TW : sex : MINOR DON'T READ PLZ

----------------------------------------------------------

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Soft touch, gentle kisses, big bear hug. He's perfect. You're the most important person in his life and he want to thank you for what you offer to him. Because yes, he think that sex is a privilege that you accord to him.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your lips. The way that you smile at him without any disgust, the way that you always kiss him when you sees him in a room... It makes him warm.

You like his scars. Real testimony of his life, his battles, his courage. It proves how strong he is. He's you beautiful warrior.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically).

Being sometimes very traditional about sex, he'll cum in you only. On you would feel dirty for him. The last thing he wants is to make you feel that way.

But he might get persuaded to cum on your mouth. Swallow and you'll lost the poor man.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Alastor have a thing for when you take the lead. He love when you climb on him and told him what exactly you want. You honesty is incredibly hot and make him wanna do anything you want.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He surely had some experience when he was younger.

But since a long time, he used to paid for sex. (It's not my idea but omg I love this hc). He trusted sex workers more than total strangers. He usually goes once every few months as a pause in his life and to relieve his stress.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying)

Missionary or you above him, tight in his arms ("watering can" position) when his leg need rest. A position where he can watch your face while being close to you. He loves to see that you really like it, that's he's doing good to please you.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Alastor is mostly serious during the act, but he might surprise you with some humourous dirty talk (who was extremely hot btw).

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Alastor doesn't really care about that. Luckily, magic makes the work easier.

He'll do the bare minimum to be clean, bit if you wants him to do things differently, he'll oblige.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Alastor isn't the most romantic person ever.

But he'll hold you so tight and would make love with such tenderness...

Expect some sweet declarations from him during the love time.

Oh dear... You make me feel so alive... I love you so much...

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

First of all, PTSD and mental health have a real impact on libido so I think that (especially after the thing with Crouch), his libido was really low.

And second of all, Moody used to bottle all his needs, resulting in a lot of sex with you when you wake his libido up.

So, no masturbation for Alastor. He prefers making love with you by far.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

During your first time together, you couldn't stop to tell him how good he was, how beautiful you find him. It was the first time that someone told him that.

With you he discovered that he loved being praised. So yeah, praise kink.

Other than that, he's soft and not really into anything related to bdsm. Sex is something sweet and intimate for him. He would hate to hurt you.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

In a safe place, at his house which is protected by tons of protective spells, or in you room at Grimmaud's place.

And most of the time in a bed. That's much easier for him and less painful for his leg.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Just you showing clearly that you love or want him.

He's used to seen disgust in other persons eyes. But seeing your love or more, your desire, in yours...

And if you combine that with your hands in any part of him with a smile... The poor man is lost.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hurting you. That's a total no for him.

And with that, all things that'll make you in danger are forbidden.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Go down on him and you'll lost him. His sounds... Oh gosh....! You would destroy the entire world to hear him moaning like this.

And he know what he's doing with his thong. But the story behind that is really sad.

When he had sex before you, it was usually payed. During the act, he could seen the hidden disgust on their faces. And as an apologize for them to have to sleep with a man as ugly as him, he would do down on them. Pleasure can mask ugliness for a moment.

But with you it's different. His skills aren't to make you forgot his uglyness, only to please the one person who is kind enough to go on his bed.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Mostly slow. Working slowly with you until the orgasm is his thing.

It's always sensual but sometimes it's more rough during quickies or when you were particularly desperate.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He used to dislike them. He love to take his time to make love to you. It was something special and unique for him. But as your relationship grows, his sex drive too. And you two are much more comfortable to tell each other when you want to have sex.

So now, sometimes it's really just a thing to release the pressure and having your lover's body closed.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

No. Definitely no. He's to scared that something might happen or if you being hurt that he'll never take any risks.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

His stamina isn't the same than when he was young. So it's one, maybe two rounds.

But he always makes sure that you come twice everytime, before letting himself came.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

No. And he don't really want some. But if you have toys and want to include them in the room, he might like it because he sees it as a way to makes you feel even better.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Not at all. He's totally at your feet and is here only to please you. You don't even have to beg.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He's really loud when he moan and growls. You're so good, he can't stop it.

At first he was uncomfortable with it. But one time you told him how hot that was, and since he continues.

But no one can hear him because of all the spell he puts on the bedroom.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character)

His often use his magic eye to see behind your clothes. And you knows it.

It often lead to you wearing the sexiest lingerie or simply nothing behind you clothes for him to see it. If you wear any toys it's a bonus.

All this results in him blushing and mumbling without anyone but you knowing the reason.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants)

Big dick energy.

Much larger than longer. But still big

You know I'm right...

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

I that, due to his mental health, his libido was fluctuating. He used to go by long period without any desires (after the Crouch affair for example).

But now?

Everytime you allow him, he'll take it. But you'll have to take the lead, he's still shy about asking for any sexual intercourse.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

With his nightmares and his anxiety, Alastor have some troubles to sleep. But making love to you helps a bit. And sleeping with you in his arms definitely help too.

He'll always fall asleep after you and it's usually the sweet sounds of your respiration that makes him fall asleep.

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