#okay i won't say much in the tags in case you read the tags before the ask & i don't wanna spoil you HJKLJHLK

[lunaetis]

@apocryphis asked :

"you don't really trust me, do you?" sprawled over one of the luscious sofas in her no less luxurious room in the way over the top hotel reverie on penacony, aventurine casts a glance over to his travel companion, an inquisitive, uncharacteristically perplexed gimmer shining behind peculiar eyes. his fingers, that had been idly playing with a poker chip, stop, and the avgin turns his head to take a better look at yinyue as if doing so would allow him to solve whatever mystery he had decided shrouded her. no memories, golden eyes looking at the world like a newborn would, and ears that never miss a single lie or deception. aeons, she is intriguing. perhaps dangerously so. "you would be both daring and foolish if you did. one quality i admire, the other i am concerned about. so... which is it, rover?"

unprompted. || always accepting

─「银月」─  everything about this planet was throwing her off. the ROVER found herself being both intrigued and cautious about its atmosphere and setting to the point that it became difficult to discern between dreams and reality. that was the point of this world, wasn't it ? an escape. planet of festivities, it's called. she could tell from the very moment she set foot upon it that there were much more than to meet the eyes. the waves and sounds of this world was layer upon layer, stacking up so high and in so many frequency she couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

                in place of a large bed one would expect from a HOTEL was a bathtub, one that people here used to enter the land of dreams. how peculiar. as her partially gloved digits traced along the surface of the glowing water itself, her attention was then caught by his voice.

                eyes of gold immediately turned to land upon a now familiar figure sprawled casually upon the sofa. as amber optics took in the sight on him, his distinctive eyes were doing the same. it was only a matter of time before their eyes met, and they did. curiosity, was it ? that glimmer sparked within UNIQUE ORBS he possessed. yinyue stepped away from the tub, taking a few steps in his direction. there was a small pause as she tilted her head to the side, eyes never leaving his and —

                " why wouldn't i ? " the question was uttered in almost the same manner as her calling out his lies when they first met. spoken as though it was fact, like it was the most obvious thing and she was genuinely perplexed as to why he would ask such a question. in a way, if anyone had heard her inquiry, they would be able to give her a WHOLE LIST of reasons why she should not place her trust in the man called aventurine. that there were many more reasons to not trust him than to do so.

                yet, there she was, with her bright golden hues looking at him and asking why not in the most innocent ( or was it naïve ? ) way possible.

                the expression on his face was unlike anything she had ever witnessed from him, and yinyue had seen a wide range of what he was capable of. but this wasn't any of those. he simply stared at her like she had just uttered the most absurd thing one could ever done to his face. a blink, as she could feel his waves beginning to shift. it wasn't a disturbance nor chaotic shift, but it was a shift. was it INTERNAL TURMOIL ? conflict ? that's probably the closest to it.

                from the exchanges she had seen earlier ever since their arrival to the hotel, it was clear that others did not. trust was the last thing one would give him, and probably the last thing he NEEDED from them, too. he knew that.

                just because others do not, was she supposed to not as well ?

                she approached him, standing near the sofa but her eyes never left his unique orbs. yinyue didn't think she had ever seen eyes like his before, and dare she say, she thought they were interesting. when she spoke the next words, her expression did not change, nor was she tearing her gaze away.

                " are you going to betray me ? "

                as soon as the words left her lips, she could sense another shift in his wavelength. nothing major. it was barely noticeable. however, there was a split second halt of his wave, something the usual resonator would've missed but yinyue did not. it was there, half a moment pause to a question he probably had thrown his way countless of times, and one she could imagine his reflex answer would be. yes. if needed.

                she shifted her weight, arms crossing over her chest. that split second PAUSE was all she needed. a genuine smile curved her lips.

                " you hesitated. that's good enough for me. " for someone who could so easily tell another to USE HIM as they see fit, or how manipulations were things he's used to, both on the giving and receiving ends, that single moment of hesitation gave her the reason to trust him. she wondered if he knew he had just answered his own question. either way —

                the rover extended her hand towards him.

                " come on. you promised you'd show me the dreamscape, yes ? "

[thebibliosphere]

In case you were wondering how deep down the Batfam fixation hole I am, it's something I've actually been talking about in therapy a lot.

Not like, in a worried way, more just when my therapist asks me what I'm doing in my downtime, my answer always used to be either "sleeping" or "I don't have downtime. I have too much work to do."

Now my answer is "playing my Batman game" or "watching Batman show/reading comics/writing unhinged Batman x Muppet fanfic."

And my therapist is delighted. She's fucking ecstatic. She's like, "You have interests again!" and I'm like !!!! Because here's the thing.

Almost dying in 2019 kinda irrevocably fucked up my brain, like, a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I've been grieving over that for the last few years as well as recovering from the physical aspects of it. And to cope with it, I threw myself into work even though I wasn't physically or mentally well enough, and that made everything worse, and well, if you've been here, you know.

My brain has not been kind to me for a long time. It still isn't. But I do the work. I do multiple types of therapy a week. I piece myself back together on the daily and try to remember what it means to be human and not just this numb static void that sometimes sounds like shrieking if you listen too closely.

And then randomly, a few months ago a friend bought me Gotham Knights on Steam, and it was like a light turned back on. The engine that'd been refusing to turn over for years suddenly sputtered back to life, and something in my brain went, "Hey, I remember this... this is fun?"

And then I started tentatively searching the tags here on Tumblr, and yeah, actually. I remember this. I remember enjoying this. I can dip my toes into this. This is safe. This is a childhood interest from Before the almost-dying-trauma. And besides, it won't get in the way of my work. This isn't going to consume me. Nothing consumes me like it used to. I'm too broken for that.

Except, haha, jokes on me because, for some fucking reason, Brucie fucking Wayne and his gaggle of chaotic crime-fighting children is what reached into my brain, picked up my trauma, and started shaking it loose like a category 7 earthquake.

I actually laughed about that with my therapist a few weeks ago. Of all characters, of all pieces of media, it's Batman that's helping me process a significant chunk of my emotional trauma in a healthy way.

The most emotionally constipated vigilante in superhero existence, and I'm weeping like a child every time I get an achievement in Gotham Knights, and it says some bullshit like this:

ID: a purple steam achievement icon that says: He'd Be So Proud Of You. Reach the maximum level as any member of the Batman Family. 6.3% of players have this achievement. /end ID.

(for context, Batman is dead in this game, and you are playing as his emotionally devastated children trying to keep it together. Wailing, gnashing, crying, throwing up etc, etc.)

And my therapist, who has sat with me through EMDR sessions and a multitude of other shit designed to rewire your brain, just shrugs and says, "Sometimes we need to externalize our emotions through safe media. For you, right now, that safety is Batman having a relationship with the Muppets."

And like... okay, yeah. I'll take the win on that one.

[hellfire--cult]

Edit of Eddie: Sofiiel

Stripper!Eddie x Shy!Fem!Reader

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 (end)

WC: 9.7k

⚠️ +18 MDNI, Stripper!Eddie, shyness towards men, nervousness, talking about traumas, self-esteem issues, fluff of some sort, self doubt.

Plot: You thought you were cursed with your shyness, but after one embarrassing night, you decide it's time to change, and you believe someone might be able to help with that.

Summary: You see someone in a coffee shop, and you make the first move towards a new life.

A/N: I didn't think so many of you would enjoy this story! I hope everything lives up to your expectations, we're gonna go slow with this one, but don't think that Billy and Steve won't participate in this project of yours ;)

As always, all reblogs help, tagging it as well, and I always enjoy reading your comments!

PART 2

Your eyes slowly opened, feeling completely light headed as you tried to focus all around you.

You groaned in pain as you felt a sharp sting in the back of your head and you felt the light above you blinding you, sharply. 

Where the fuck were you?

“Is she awake?” You heard a female voice talking. You tried focusing again and saw Kali’s face over yours and she smiled at you when she saw you open your eyes at her.

“She’s awake!” Kali says and you see more faces trying to come in focus over you, making you whine by how dizzy that made you. You heard Kali protesting to the other people to give you some space as she fanned your face with her hand. 

“W-Where am I?” You asked and slowly but surely, your senses started sharpening again. Below you, there was definitely a bed. Then, all the voices around you were female. And then, you smelt cinnamon, the same one as your scented candle in your room.

“Your apartment. Are you okay? Do you feel sick?” You heard Nancy ask worriedly as she held a bottle of water in her hand. Honestly, you didn’t feel sick, just plain dizzy, as if you had ran out of oxygen for a few minutes. You held onto Kali’s arm and slowly sat up, centering yourself in the room as it began to get in focus for your eyes. 

“Jesus, what happened?” You asked as you grabbed onto Nancy’s bottle and Robin looked at Nancy worriedly and then back at you.

“You fainted.” 

“That much I know Robs.”

“In front of the stripper.” You spat the sip of water you just took, dizziness completely gone now, embarrassment and shame taking over your body as an anxious knot filled in the center of your gut. Barb stepped away from in front of you just in time before she got drenched and you started coughing wildly as Vickie patted your back.

“Oh god, now I am gonna be sick.” You say as nausea fills your stomach thanks to how humiliated you felt. You just remembered his brown eyes, looking at you, getting closer and closer to you. You winced as you tried to imagine his face when you simply blacked out in front of him. How pathetic it must have been for him. 

“Yeah, you’ve been out for thirty minutes.” You groaned loudly at Barb’s words and you looked at Nancy. You were so embarrassed for ruining her night, and even making all of them go through all of this. 

“Nance, I am so sorry. Words can’t describe how stupid I feel for this… I should have waited in the car, or in the bathroom, or away from the stage…” You hid your face in your hands as tears started to fill in your eyes. You felt so weak, so small because of this issue of yours. You made your friends end their fun night because of you.

“No, no! I shouldn’t have even considered a strip club knowing one of my bridesmaids doesn’t do good in a place like that!” Nancy replies, trying to make you realize she didn’t mind, but you were too far gone to notice that. How many more nights will you screw up in this way?

You remembered your prom night. Because of your shyness, you were always the target for bullying, and boys didn’t help at all with your case. They pulled your hair, got close to your face to tease you, grabbed your shoulders, caged you against the wall just to see you squeal in fear. 

So that night, you decided to try and be brave, only to be cornered inside the boy’s bathroom by three guys from the soccer team. They were telling you they could cure you if you’d only suck their dicks. That was all you needed. Thankfully, Kali smashed into the bathroom with a fire extinguisher and sprayed the men on the spot. She had seen you being pulled aside, and in your shock, you didn’t pull away, nor ran. 

That was a dangerous situation, but this one… This one was plainly humiliating. Embarrassing. Pathetic. 

The poor guy was just doing his job, and he had to see you crumble in front of him, just by his mere sight and touch. He was supposed to make you feel desired, and you cannot even imagine how he felt when you just fainted on him. Eddie. Poor Eddie.

“Hey, if he didn’t catch you in time, you would have hit your neck on the back of your chair.” You looked up to see Robin speaking to you.

“He helped me?”

“He even carried you to my car. Told me to drive safe and all.” Robin didn’t tell you, just to spare you from more embarrassment, but she explained your condition to Eddie and Joyce who were feeling responsible for what happened to you. The guy looked confused really, but didn’t press more than that and just waved all of you off. 

You were looking at Robin and then you looked at your arms. He had wrapped his arms around you, and lifted you in bridal style to carry you away. You sighed as you cursed at yourself for only being able to tolerate something like that when you were completely out and not conscious at all. 

You wanted to feel hands like that awake. You wanted to be able to enjoy a handsome man pampering you. You wanted to kiss a hot guy. You wanted and needed to be fucked with someone you felt attracted to, completely, not just barely. 

“Oh, sweetheart don’t cry… It really isn’t a big deal…” Kali wiped your tear away, one you didn’t even feel dropping, but she didn’t understand. It is a big deal. No one understands you, no one knows what this feels like. No one knows how you feel about this. No one gets it. 

You just wished you could be normal.

It’s been a week since that night, and you tried. You were seriously trying. 

But you were now in your fourth coffee shop, parking your car, because the last three you’ve been at, the baristas, were young men. As soon as you entered the doors and saw the counter and the man behind it, you immediately left. 

After that night, it seemed as if your shyness and your nervousness only worsened just by how humiliating those events were. You couldn’t even turn on your camera at the team meetings of your workplace, which thankfully, it was 100% from home. You worked at a big company just as an administrator, and it paid well so you didn’t complain.

Now, on a friday, you look forward to the afternoon coffee, and you were happy to see that in your fourth coffee place, you found a woman at the front counter. You walked towards her as you looked into your wallet, looking for cash.

“Hi! What can I get you?” You heard her cheery voice and you looked up with a smile.

“Hello, um… Just a medium coffee with a bit of creamer please.” She nodded at you and you handed her the money so she could go and start preparing you coffee. She asked for your name and told you she would call you once it was done. You nodded at that and stepped aside, grabbing your phone to scroll through your instagram. 

You smiled when seeing the stories of Robin. She was posting about how boring her classes were at nursing school. Then you jumped over to Nancy’s which was a picture of her and Jonathan. Your smile faltered a little at that.

Jonathan was a handsome guy, and when you met him you didn’t feel that immense shyness you always felt. You never knew why, because deep inside you, you knew he was attractive. Yet, you could shake hands with him, and engage in conversation as if it were a natural thing for you to do. 

A deep voice came from next to you, and your eyes widened. You knew that voice. You recognized it, because last time it vibrated so close to your ear, it had settled in the deep of your stomach. You slowly side eyed, turning your head just a bit and you held in the gasp as you felt your body grow a cold sweat. 

“The usual, Princess.”

Oh fuck. Shit. Son of a bitch. 

You could see his hair tied up in a bun, some specks of unshaved beard covered his jaw, and the smell. You could smell the wooden cologne. Kind of leathery like. You turned your head as you felt your whole face turn a deep shade of red, and it almost felt like it moved all over your body. 

Your fingertips felt like they were sweating, and the knot in your stomach was moving all around. She took his order and you stepped aside trying to create some space between you two. You looked away so he wouldn’t recognize your face, because if he did, you were sure you would die. 

Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest and you were looking at the barista’s every move. She was preparing your coffee now, and his presence was just overwhelming you entirely. You wanted, no, NEEDED, to bolt right out of there. You could hear him yawn as he stood next to you, and your nerves were going insane right now. You heard your name being called out, snapping you out of your almost panic attack. 

“Thank you…” You said almost in a whisper as you took the coffee in your hands. You didn’t waste a single second, turning away and rushing out of the shop, taking a deep breath in of the clear oxygen. Now, you don’t really think it would be adequate to fill your body with caffeine when your nerves were this bad, but you already paid for it. 

Your heart was on the verge of exploding as you took many deep breaths in. You should apologize to him, or say thank you for helping your friends carry you out of the club, but here you were, running once again. Like you always did. 

But is it something you really want to do? Do you want to keep running?

You turned around and saw him through the window, taking slow sips of his coffee as he looked through his phone. His profile was already making you sweat by just how good looking he was, without even trying, with the afternoon sun hitting him in the right places. 

You wanted a normal life. You wanted to be able to feel attraction. You wanted to be kissed passionately. You wanted physical touch. You wanted to be normal, simply normal. 

So your feet moved. They guided you towards the doors again. They guided you into the shop. The girl looked at you with confusion over the counter and then you turned, going towards the booth where the man was seated at.

Eddie though, didn’t even acknowledge you. He was tired, too spent from last night's show. He was grabbed onto more than usual, and he had done several personal lap dances. Everything was good money of course, and he knew he sealed his fate into being the favorite one the moment he agreed on being physical with clients. No more than a kiss, or some holding, but that made him wanted. 

He didn’t mind really, but when the ladies would take advantage of that and touch him, when they knew they shouldn’t, drove him up a wall. He wasn’t going to lie and say he didn’t bang one or two clients per week, sometimes for money, sometimes for his pleasure. This was all his doing. Joyce was against them doing that, but his colleagues, and himself, found out that their dicks can get them two thousand a night.

He didn’t even notice until a shadow casted over him, that made him look up, that you had sat right in front of him, making him frown in confusion because… You weren’t looking at him. You were looking downwards and he could almost see the steam coming out of one of your ears.

“Um–”

“I’M SORRY.” He jumped at the high pitched loud tone, almost a squeak, making him shake his coffee a little bit on his hand. 

“Jesus christ!” It was too late for loud noises, and much more for apologies he didn’t have a clue on why they were being said to him. And from a girl who wasn’t even looking at him. You were trembling, looking at your lap, because that apology came out way too embarrassing for your own good, and now you wanted nothing more but to crawl and disappear into thin air.

You stayed silent, trying to form words in your throat, but you could only feel the lump forming, and you cursed at yourself internally because you thought you were making progress by sitting in front of him, but now that you made a fool out of yourself, once again, you wanted to run away. But his voice stopped you.

“Holy shit, it’s you. The girl who fainted.”

Your blood went cold. Of course you would be remembered as that. Shit, everyone that night will remember you as the pathetic girl who fainted in the arms of a stripper. Your knuckles went white on your lap as you gripped them tightly, trying to fight the urge of running away. Your voice was still not found but there was no need because he kept talking.

“Are you alright? After that night?” He was asking for your wellbeing. This guy who didn’t even know you was asking if you were doing okay. You had to answer, you had to say something. Anything, just move your lips, make the air come out.

“Yes…” You almost mumbled it, but it was something. Eddie was squinting at you, his phone long forgotten on the table as he inspected you. He gave a small smirk, even if you weren’t looking at him, he just couldn’t help himself.

“And I thought your friend made up a horrible excuse for you that night, saying you were shy against men. I can see that she wasn’t lying.” Your body jerked up at that, your eyes widening and your head lifting up slightly, focused on his cup and he was finally able to see your face. You were beet red, making him smirk even more.

“Y-You were doing a great job! It’s m-my fault for trying to be strong and staying there!” Did you just say he was doing a great job? That formally? To a stripper? You winced at your words, ready to stand up and walk away but the sound of his laughter stopped you, and you wanted to look up, but you knew that it was going to make you freeze in place. 

“Thank you darling. I guess I appreciate the feedback.” He noticed how you jumped slightly at the nickname he gave you and he cleared his throat. “I guess I do, in fact, owe you an apology myself…”

At that, your eyebrow raised up, not looking at him, but staring at his phone this time, just trying to not meet his gaze at all. Why would he need to apologize to you?

“You didn’t do anything w-wrong!” You stuttered at the last words, but you were surprised to have found your voice quicker this time. 

“Well, Billy told me that there was a girl that needed her friend’s help to put a bill in his jeans. He told me what you looked like and what table you were at… You were my target that night.” You froze at those words, and the knots in your belly started tangling even more, not understanding why he would target you like that. “Shit, I didn’t know you actually had a problem with men, I mean… You were at a strip club, Sweets.” 

You couldn’t help the small huff that escaped your lips with the hint of a smile on your lips. It did sound quite stupid if he said it like that. He stared at your reactions, taking a sip out of his coffee and you could see the movement from the corner of your eye, reminding you that you have some coffee in your hand as well. You took a sip too, feeling the warmth in your throat, soothing out the dryness this interaction provoked in you.

“It was… My best friend’s bachelorette party…” You explained to him and he was still not understanding where you were getting at, so he stayed silent for you to elaborate which made your nerves peak up again. “I-I didn’t want t-to bail on her.” You stuttered again as you talked about your feelings to a stranger who grinded on you a few nights back.

“Ah. I see. Next time you go to a place like that, wear a sign or something around your neck. You know, like the dogs that wear a harness that say ‘Nervous’.” Those words coming out of his mouth finally made you open your mouth as a giggle came out. You covered your mouth to stop your laughing but he caught you way off guard.

Eddie was still staring at you, a bit of pride in himself as he saw you laughing because of him, and he was glad you got to loosen up a little bit in his presence. He was curious, way too curious for his own good. Ever since he got this job with his friends, roommates even, all the women he met were straightforward, knowing what they wanted, hands roaming without fear all over his body. Yet you are here, embarrassed for laughing in front of him.

And your eyes still never met his.

“Why did you approach me darling?” 

Your giggles stopped immediately, and your eyes slightly widened as you put your hands around your coffee again. Your heart was simply exploding now, and the tips of your fingers were tapping on the cup, trying to steady a normal breathing pace in your lungs, in sync. You were being engulfed by flames, and it worsened each time you remembered that his gaze was on you.

But you didn’t want to feel like this, which irritated you even more.

“I-I want help.” At that, Eddie raised his eyebrow in question, but he rested against the booth, waiting for you to continue. You stayed silent for a minute, noticing that he was being patient with you, acknowledging the fact that this wasn’t easy for you to do, and the knot in your stomach detangled just a bit, loosening up enough for you to keep talking. “I want to be normal.”

Eddie’s eyebrows twitched at that. You didn’t think you were normal just because you had this situation going on with yourself. He felt a little sad for you, and he couldn’t even imagine for how long you really struggled with this. 

“I want– I want to be able to have a normal life…” You pressed on and he was slowly understanding where you were getting at, and he looked at your cup, seeing your name written on it. 

“Right… And you want my help with what exactly?” 

“I want to fight this… this shyness… I don’t want to be nervous anymore. I am tired of making a scene or embarrassing myself because of it. I don’t want my friends to accommodate to my needs everytime we go out…” You didn’t even notice that you did not stutter once at those statements. Statements you were fully aware of yourself and you were fed up with. Eddie, obviously, noticed, raising his eyebrows up, losing themselves under the small fringe of his curls.

He was looking at you, wondering how this day turned completely on its axis and now you were sitting in front of him, shaking like a deer in front of some headlights, but still voicing your worries out. He was skeptical really, not knowing if this was all a farce to get in his pants for free. 

He wasn’t going to lie, he would fuck you for free. You were pretty, but you didn’t make an effort to show that off. Your clothes were bland, your make up was just some blush on your cheeks, and your hair was tied up in a ponytail. 

But if your intentions were to sleep with him, you wouldn’t have said what you said next.

“I w-will pay you! I just want to– be able to talk eye to eye…” His heart clenched slightly at that. You didn’t want him to teach you sexual stuff, or something of the sort… You just wanted to be able to talk to him properly, or any man for that matter. He gave a small nod, as if in thought, even if you weren’t even looking at him. 

His life has been very monotonous lately. For the past year to be exact. It was work, women, eat, sleep, shower, and do it all over again, every single day. He didn’t know if his roommates felt the same, but he knew that Steve started pottery classes, and then Billy had gotten the hobby of playing video games in his free time. 

Yet Eddie didn’t have the motivation to do anything. Until now. 

This was new, intriguing, and something that might ignite some fire in his everyday mundane life. So he reached his hand out towards you, and you looked at his ringed fingers with wide eyes, wondering what was going on.

“First things first. Presentation. I’m Eddie.” He said to you and his hand was waiting patiently. You gulped as you stared down at it, but then realization hit you. He was going to help you with this, and a flame of happiness ignited in you, slowly reaching out and putting your palm against his. You noticed the different size and the warmth of his skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

You gave him your name in a stutter and he grinned when he closed his hand on yours and saw you stiffen slightly, so he softened his grip, to then move your hands up and down gently in greeting. He pulled away, and you put your hand onto your lap as quickly as you could. Your whole body was ablaze, still looking at his phone to not clash eyes with him. 

“I-I can pay you–”

“Nothing.” Your eyes widened at that, raising an eyebrow up in question and you almost raised your head to look at him. “You look really shaken by this, and taking money from you doesn’t really sit right with me… And who knows, maybe this will blossom into an odd friendship.” 

Those words slipped out of his mouth before he could help it, and a slight pink tint formed on his cheeks. He really did crave for another friendship, already getting tired of just being with Billy and Steve. They are great, and they are almost like brothers, but maybe that was the thing. It was just those two, and no one else. 

You on the other hand turned a deep red at that, feeling your heart banging in your chest, not being able to take it anymore and you grab his phone, startling him completely and his eyes went wide at the action, but you didn’t move from the seat. You opened the dial without unlocking the phone, sliding up from the right corner of the screen and you pressed your cell phone number in there. 

You slid it back to him and stood up, not being able to handle the pressure of his stare any longer and he held onto his phone to look down at the number on it. His eyebrows centered in the middle with a frown and he raised his head up only to see you gone, turning his head around until he saw you rushing out of the shop through the window and into your car. 

He looked down at his screen, biting the inside of his cheek. He looked at his cup and saw the number of the barista under his name. She had tried many times to put her number down in his cup, but he never saved it on his phone. He looked down on your number, a scoff coming out of his lips.

“Hmm...”

You had been screaming into your pillow for the past half hour. 

You cannot believe what you did two hours ago. You gave your number to a stripper. To a goddamn stripper. And you even asked for help with this issue of yours, but what if it came out wrongly? What if he thought you were asking him to help you sexually? It didn’t really feel like that but what if you didn’t read the air right?

It was an impulse. A goddamn impulse, but you were fine, it was all going to be okay, because you left your phone, and maybe he doesn’t even indulge in this stupidity of yours and move on, or maybe he deletes it by mistake and everything will be back as it was before.

You stopped screaming at that.

But you didn’t want to go back to before. That’s why you took that chance, and you have to look at the positive side of all of this. You sat in front of him, you talked to him, you shook his hand! You shook a handsome man’s hand! That’s improvement, a lot of it. Yes, if you put your mind to it, maybe you can change this stupid part of yourself.

You remembered his voice. Deep but with a hint of mischief behind it, and then those words that sounded hopeful yet sad. How he managed to say that the two of you could become friends in the meantime. You wondered what his daily life was like now, outside of his job. Who did he live with? How old is he? What is his favorite food?

You grabbed your phone as you turned to look up at your ceiling. You unlocked your phone to start scrolling through TikTok. You smiled at all the dog videos that showed up on your For You page and saved all those cooking and baking tips you found. You were startled from your trance of scrolling when your phone started ringing. The beautiful sound ‘The Shire’ from The Lord of the Rings filled your ears which helped a lot to the anxious feeling of talking on the phone. Who did that nowadays?

You looked at the number and it was not saved on your phone. Should you answer? Maybe it’s a telemarketer. Did you forget to pay a bill? Internet? No, you paid all of those. Your eyes widened in realization.

What if it’s him?

You were about to start trembling and in your fuss you pressed the Answer button and you almost cried out as you started hearing the other side of the phone. 

‘We are calling to ensure you have the best communication serv–’

And you hang up, fucking automatic calls. You let out a sigh of relief until you felt that it wasn’t that much of relief at the end of it. Something felt uneasy within you, like something was not right. A certain disappointment maybe? Did you want him to be the one calling you? But that would be too much for you to handle, definitely. 

You sighed, sitting up on the bed, scratching your head until a soft ‘Ting’ on your phone caught your attention. You looked down on the notifications and it was a message from an unknown number. Your eyes widened when you looked into the text preview.

‘I believe that in text form, you won’t be too shy to talk to me.’

Your heart got caught in your throat as you begin to cough desperately. You weren’t expecting something from him so soon, and it startled you completely. You held onto your chest as you read the text again, and again and again… You didn’t feel the blood flowing at the tip of your fingers, his image coming up in your head. His side profile of today, but then his face up close to you, in the middle of purple and pink lights in the club.

You clenched your eyes tightly, trying to move the images away. You took a deep breath in and unlocked your phone, heading over to the text. First, you saved his contact, because you might forget right? Then you put in a personal notification message because you just felt like it, but maybe if you do that, you can also put in a special ringtone as well? You didn’t do that for everyone but you were feeling like–

You were stalling. You were definitely stalling. 

You gulped as you went back to the screen, now with the title ‘E’ because you didn’t want to receive a message from him when you were with your friends. They knew his name, so might as well tell them it’s Eleanor from work. 

You started typing ‘Hi’ but he didn’t start with hello, so you erased that. Maybe a ‘how are you’ or ‘how has your day been going’ but that really doesn’t sound right either, he didn’t ask you that at all. You deleted it again and were about to type in again until you saw the three dots that signaled you that he was typing.

‘Even on text? Damn, I wonder how many texts you just wrote and deleted.’

He caught you, red handed, and you took a deep breath in, pushing your embarrassment away as you started typing.

‘Not many.’ You were already biting the skin on the side of your left thumb thanks to your pumping heart, which only increased its beats every time you saw the three dots from his side.

‘Really? I bet you wrote ‘Hey handsome’ and deleted it, right?’

You giggled at that, feeling your nerves loosen up a bit at his cheekiness and you typed once more.

‘Oh, sure, whatever strokes your ego.’

‘That hurt princess.’ 

Your breath hitched at the endearment. 

‘You’ll survive.’

‘Black is not a color.’

‘Not you too with that bullshit. 🙄’

‘But it’s not, it’s a shade, as well as white!’

‘It’s my favorite color, a color, and that’s final.’

You giggled at the banter you were creating with Eddie over some texts. It’s been a week since you saw him and it’s been a week since you both started texting each other. They’re not long conversations really, just an hour a day or less, and it always starts with Eddie asking you something about yourself.

On Monday, it was your work. He made a lot of funny comments about how he is an accountant when you knew what his job actually is. Then Tuesday was about your favorite animal, in which you said Dog and he said bats. He told you he actually has a swarm of bats tattooed on his right forearm. Then food on wednesday, and favorite drink on thursday.

Today was about your favorite colors. 

Yours was red, sometimes purple, while Eddie claims that his favorite color is black. You were having fun messing with him, smiling at the phone as the nerves in your belly were kept to a minimum. You were surprised how loose you got when you received his texts, and it was almost as if you were excited when they did. 

“Why are you so smiley?” You blinked and looked up, completely forgetting you were having coffee with Robin at the Starbucks near your apartment complex. Robin actually got an apartment three floors down from yours and you were happy that you have a close friend as a neighbor. 

“Oh, um… El sent me a meme.” You lie, feeling your chest compress at it. You didn’t want to lie to your friends, but you were doing this behind their backs because you didn’t need the encouragement. You wanted to do this on your own, without the need of your friends overprotecting you as if you were a piece of paper that might rip apart at any comment a man does to you.

“Right…” She sipped on her coffee as another notification made you look down at the screen, and you went pale at what you saw. It was a message from Eddie, yes, but the anxiety started filling your stomach as you read what he wrote to you.

‘We should hang out this weekend. Test the waters.’

He was asking you out. Well not asking you out, more like hang out, as friends, but, oh no. You were feeling nauseous, the memory of his face, and his stomach showing coming up in your mind. You don’t think you will be able to tolerate it, and you don’t even know if you can trust this guy. You haven’t told your friends about Eddie, and if you went missing or something–

“IT’S EDDIE.” You blurted out, startling Robin, your panic winning completely over you. She spat the coffee, coughing loudly as she punched her chest a few times, trying to recover herself. You on the other hand were slightly panting from the anxiety that was eating you up, but the need to feel protected won you over. 

“What!?” 

“I AM TALKING WITH EDDIE.” You said again loudly, making various customers turn their heads at the commotion and Robin made you lower your voice with a big ‘shh’ and a hand movement. 

“Eddie… Who the fuck is Eddi– Oh, WHAT?!” Now the customers turned their heads at Robin’s explosion. You were clutching your phone to your chest and you could feel your eyes beginning to heat up from the tears that were threatening to leave them. 

“I know, I’m so sorry, I didn’t want to lie, but-but–” 

“Why are you talking to–” Robin looked around and bent over a little closer to whisper to you. “To the stripper?! Are you nuts?!”

“I mean– I might? I don’t know? I–” You took a deep breath in, closing your eyes as Robin sighed in front of you. “I just need help… Being normal…” Robin’s eyes turned those into sad ones as she looked up at you. She stood up, putting her hand out for you to take.

“Tell me all about it while we head back to your place.”

“Yep, you are definitely crazy.”

You were pacing back and forth while Robin watched you from the couch, looking down at all the texts you’ve sent Eddie. But even if she did call you crazy, your friend was proud of you because she never thought you would tell a man about your favorite things. She also didn’t expect this Eddie guy to actually be gentle with you, never crossing a line, never flirting with you.

She wondered if his intentions were pure and when you told him he didn’t accept the money, Robin was baffled. Now, the true reason as to why you had told her about this, is because of his last message. He didn’t pressure you into saying yes, so that was a green flag, and it also lets someone know who you were with last in case the worst case scenario happens.

“I know I am crazy Robin, I fucking know, it was an impulse–”

“But I think it’s working… I mean, maybe he can actually figure out what’s going on in that head of yours.” You gulped at that and continued pacing. Nothing traumatic with men happened to you, the absence of your father and the multiple cheating on your mother helped, but it didn’t explain the reason as to why it was almost as if you were terrified of men. Attractive men at that. 

You had of course the bullying at primary school, and then all the way to high school, but you cannot really pinpoint anything too cruel. 

“Robin, I– I don’t even know him. What if he makes a move on me?” You would probably pass out and he would have access to do whatever. You really don’t know the guy, even if he seems trustworthy on text messages, that’s just what they are. Text messages. He could be lying, he could be pretending to be something he is not, and you can’t read his face or his movements. Not that you would if you were in person either, because you can’t fucking look at him.

“I don’t think– Look, invite him to the bar three blocks down, just the two of you, and don’t make a fuss about it. He seems cool, and he never overstepped from what I’ve seen… Nothing with a double meaning either.” She was trying to reassure you, to help you with it. For some reason Robin had a feeling that you didn’t cross paths with the stripper again just out of pure coincidence. She was a fair believer of fate, and karma. 

“I– I mean it is public, a bar.” She gave you a nod and handed you the phone. You took it into your trembling fingers, looking down at the messages.

“Yes, and you have me as your emergency contact. You just have to press the lock button 5 times and I know where to get you.” That statement actually calms you a lot. And the fact that you would be at a bar three blocks away from home was also bringing you relief. “Remember, this is not a date… He is not asking you out romantically.”

“Right, I know that, as a friend.” You replied to her, giving Robin a nod as you felt another uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach that you couldn’t describe once more. You looked down at your phone, and licked your lips, gulping loudly as you typed in your response.

‘Does tomorrow at 6, the bar between Monroe ST. and Chadwick sound good to you?’

You almost threw the phone towards Robin, feeling yourself cringe at the risky message you just sent, but if you truly think hard about it, he was the one who sent it first. Robin caught your phone as it trembled in your hand. She heard a popping sound and looked down at the screen, a smirk breaking on her lips.

“Sounds perfect, and I will give you a whole presentation on why Black is indeed a color."

You were trying to calm your nerves as you looked at the watch, every now and then on your phone. It’s already 6:05 PM and he didn’t show. It’s only five minutes late, but maybe he bailed?

But he was the one who asked you, why would he bail? But maybe he regretted it? Oh god, did he have to work today? You invited him without even asking and maybe he has a full night and you didn’t even think of–

“Parking around here is a pain in the ass Princess.” You heard his voice as he passed by you, sitting at the seat of the booth in front of you. You felt your body tensing up, and you were now self conscious of your clothes. But it wasn’t a date, so you dressed normally, and you applied a bit of mascara. You weren’t good at doing your own makeup so you settled for the simplest of things, because if you tried to do something, it would be worse than nothing.

Your eyes immediately drifted to the napkin holder on the side as you tried to gather up courage to talk to him. He sighed and put his phone on the table, right in front of him, which made your gaze drive to that. He did it so that he could see your face instead of your profile, taking note that last time you were together, your eyes didn’t leave his phone.

From your point of view you could see his shirt, which was a black simple t-shirt with an Iron Maiden illustration on it. You wanted to know what he looked like right now, and given from what you could smell of his perfume, he must look nice. 

“Sweets, I need you to cooperate with me here. We talked all week on the phone, I assure you it’s no different than using your voice.” You blinked once and maybe that was the trick. You just have to imagine this is just texting, as if you were reading your messages out loud.

“I-I know that…” The curiosity was killing you at this point, but you wanted to make sure of something first. “Do you work tonight? I didn’t even ask you before…” He was surprised at your question, and he smirked slightly, nodding. Once he realized you still weren’t looking at him, he sighed as he opened his mouth again.

“Yeah, but not till 10 PM. Jason and Billy are on the early shift today.” He explained to you and that is actually a lot of time to talk to him. You didn’t think you would stand being with him, looking at his phone for more than an hour. You felt another presence approaching and you looked up to your side, seeing the waitress coming up.

“Ready to order?” She gave you a small smile and you nodded.

“A beer, please.” She put it down and turned to Eddie, her smile widening as you watched her interact with him. He must really look nice if this woman was smiling like that. Why can't you be like her? Why do you have to be so nervous about it all? You wanted to smile at a cute boy, not barf on him or pass out on the spot.

“Same as her.” Was his short reply. Your gaze went back down towards his phone as the waitress retreated to get your drinks. You wondered how he looked at her. Did he smile? Did he wink? Did he keep a serious face on? “Didn’t take you to be a beer kind of girl.”

“Oh, well, it’s really my drink of choice, but a sweet drink I like too sometimes.” You replied, keeping your gaze on his phone, imagining that everytime he talked to you, a small ‘Ting’ of a notification sounded in your ears.

“I like beer too, but I am more into the bitter kind of stuff.” He replied to you and you now burnt all over because you didn’t know how to keep the conversation flowing. Gladly, the waitress returned quickly with the two bottles of beer opened and ready to drink. You grabbed yours and saw Eddie’s hand wrapping around his own bottle, leaning it towards you. You gulped and clinked your bottle to his.

“To cure your shyness sweetheart.” 

You couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on your lips at that small sweet touch. Giving a cheer for you, even in the short lapse of knowing each other, made your heart calm down just a tiny bit as you took your first sip of the bottle. Eddie caught on the smile you gave and was about to talk when your phone rang.

You looked at the caller and saw it was Robin. Your eyes widened, realizing you didn’t tell her you were already with Eddie. It was kind of a safe protocol, tell her you arrived, tell her he arrived, and keep her updated if you remembered to do so. You had sent her your live location as well, keeping you safe at all times. You declined the call and immediately sent her a message to tell her you were with Eddie already and that everything seemed ok.

Eddie though, was wide eyed, staring at you.

“Was that the flute of The Shire?”

You blinked at your phone and you almost looked up thanks to your surprise. He liked The Lord of The Rings? You weren’t a super fan of it, but the soundtrack had captivated you since you were a kid. 

“I, yes–”

“Holy shit… Look, I only got my little brother to talk this with, and– I just never expected you to like something like that.” He replied, a wide grin on his face. You gulped, a blush on your cheeks. So he has a brother, another small detail of his life.

“I could say the same about you…” He chuckled at that, nodding at the thought.

“Never saw a Stripper being a total nerd?” He replied and you snorted at that, followed by a laugh, covering your mouth with your hand. He was thinking, wondering of a way to get you to look at him. “Is it your favorite movie Saga?”

“Oh, um… No, not really. Harry Potter is my favorite.” He was surprised at that answer, taking a sip of his beer, tapping his finger on the table. He didn’t know much about it, but he never really took the time to watch the movies chronologically. He had an idea of the main story, of course, but never knew the details.

“I like the fifth movie, the one with the hippogriff.” He said and your eyebrows pulled to the center in a frown at that.

“That’s the third movie…” You replied at that and he scratched his head, thinking hard as he tried to remember the small details.

“Really? Then wait, the fifth one is not the one with the snake right?” He tried again and you felt something in your belly, something like annoyance but not quite. 

“You never watched them correctly?” He shrugged at that.

“Never found the time, or cared enough to do so… Plus, the scenery is nothing like The Lord of the Rings.” And Eddie’s eyes immediately widened, his voice gone, and his hand clenching against the bottle in his hand.

“Okay, first of all, the scenery is fucking amazing, the shots are beautiful and they got them in real places and added CGI on them. Then, the soundtrack I admit, is nothing like The Lord of the Rings, but you can’t deny that all of the music in the movies are nostalgic and majestic. Also, the character designs are incredible, outfit wise and then we have all the spells! Everything is magical from the first movie to the last!” You replied to him with exasperation. You knew about Harry Potter, and you weren’t going to let him talk about your favorite thing like that.

“Ah, yes, I am not shaming it sweets, I just prefer the latter. Plus, I never understood that part of the movie where the bad guy returns from a diary? I mean…” He continued, trying to not show his surprise to you so you wouldn’t stop. You took another sip and continued talking.

“That would be the second movie, and it was a figment of a memory implanted in the diary. The diary was part of Voldemort’s soul, a horrocrux which helped him be sort of immortal.” You pressed on, throwing your knowledge at him. 

“Immortal?”

“He has seven horrocruxes in total, so he split his soul in seven parts. You had to destroy all seven in order to finally be able to kill him properly. You have to watch all of the movies in order to understand all of this! Or read all of the books!” You finished your blabbering with almost a pant.

“Sweets.”

“What?” You scoffed out and he chuckled, smiling at you.

“You’ve been talking to me, looking at me in the face, since you started ranting about Harry Potter.”

You froze, realizing that your eyes were looking into his brown ones. His hair was down, over his shoulders, the stubble you saw that day on his chin was gone, freshly shaved, and over his shirt he had a black leather jacket on. His dimples were showing as he smiled at you, and the knot in the stomach was there, it definitely was, urging you to run away.

But it didn’t urge you to look away. 

He squinted slightly as he inspected you. You weren’t looking away, which is a good sign, but you stopped talking all together. He was thinking, licking the inside of his bottom lip as he thought.

“What’s your favorite movie? Not Saga, movie.” He asked and you slightly snapped out of your trance, absorbing the way his mouth moved as he talked to you.

“T-Titanic.” He rolled his eyes at that and you slumped slightly as an angry frown came to your eyebrows again.

“Really? That cliché sweetheart?” Your mouth almost hung open at his words, feeling offended by him saying that about your favorite film.

“It’s a fucking masterpiece!” You replied to him and he sighed, leaning on the table as he took a sip of his beer again, and you followed afterwards to wet your dry throat.

“Indulge me, how is that romantic movie a masterpiece?”

“Well, I am noticing you are not the romantic type of guy, but looking past that, the scenes? The music and ambience are outstanding, and for it being a movie of 1997, it was so amazingly done! Not to mention that James Cameron was the first ever person to get clear images of the actual wreckage.” You replied, taking another sip and he was still looking at you.

He lied to you. He also thought Titanic was a masterpiece. But he came to realize something, but he needed to test something else first, just to make sure that his suspicions were correct.

“So you just said I am not the romantic type of guy… Does that mean you are? I mean, I want to understand right now, but with this thing you got going on… Did you ever… do anything?” He asked you, actually curious about it and you felt the knot in the stomach form once more, the lump in your throat suddenly blocking your voice and you immediately looked down towards his phone again, a deep crimson covering your cheeks.

“It’s… Not that I am a virgin– I don’t…” And Eddie’s head almost made a ‘ding’ sound. It had clicked the moment you stared into his eyes without noticing and you talked about something you liked. 

“I know what’s going on.” He softly muttered, very low but you could hear it, your eyebrows frowning at that. “Also, I didn’t bring my powerpoint presentation, sorry about that, but Black is a color, I mean, I am wearing it all right now.” He was at this again? You looked up at him, completely wide eyed, not believing he was still adamant about black being an actual color.

“Seriously Eddie, you can google it and it will tell you it’s a shade! I took art lessons in school, and the professor was always very strict on not calling white and black colors!” You were looking at him again. He nodded in thought and tapped the table, slumping back against the booth. He was staring at you, deep in his own mind, and you suddenly grew nervous at his stare. “What?”

“I know what’s happening here, in your mind that is.” You blinked in surprise at that, the statement taking you completely off guard.

“What do you mean?”

“Whenever you are confident about something you know, you have no trouble talking to me. You have no trouble talking to me about things you are passionate about, or have experience in.” 

You were dumbfounded. You never thought of something like that happening to you, but now some things clicked inside your head. You didn’t talk with your male coworkers, no… But when a new hire would enter the company and you had to train them? You had no problem. Then when meeting Jonathan, he was attractive, yes… But… you were excited that Nancy is happy with him.

“Holy shit…” You muttered with wide eyes and he nodded at you with a small smile appearing in his lips to then fade away.

“Yeah… But it means that your confidence level is low. Like, confidence in yourself. That’s why you can barely talk sometimes, or you don’t look up to meet my gaze, or well… looked up, past tense.” He smiled at you, and it made your cheeks flush, but still your head was spiraling at his words. 

You weren’t confident in yourself?

“You mean… like my self-esteem?” You asked, and he sighed, giving you a small nod which made your stomach sink.

“I don’t know about your past, and honestly you don’t have to tell me. But maybe we can do some baby steps…” 

“Baby steps?” He took a sip of his beer and nodded, leaning on the table as he put his hand out to start counting with his fingers.

“First, why don’t you wear makeup? Is it because you are allergic or…?” 

“Uh, no… I’m not very good at it.”

“Have you tried tutorials?” You shook your head, a small feeling of shame coming up your throat. “Okay, so that’s step one. Watch some, practice. I am not saying you need makeup, but it helps a lot with your ego. Trust me, when I put on eyeliner I feel like I can conquer the world.” He says with a chuckle and you tilt your head with curiosity pricking at the tip of your tongue.

“You wear makeup?”

“Hell yeah, makes me look pretty.” He smiles at you and you couldn’t help but laugh at his words. You couldn’t believe this man in front of you had a job like the one he has. “Step two, your clothes too.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?” You say with an offended tone and he just stares at you.

“Seriously? You wear bland colors. Put a little bit of sparkle in it, something you might feel sexy in, or pretty, but you have to feel it. You don’t dress for others, only for yourself.” You tried to remember your closet, and you hated to admit he was right. All your shirts were simple, none of them were tank tops, none of them had nice cuts on the cleavage, or were tight… Your jeans were all the same, and you never wore dresses or skirts, no matter if you really wanted to.

You just never thought you’d look good in them.

Oh fuck… He actually might have found the problem. 

“Third, be confident in your voice. We’re going to slowly work on it, but I think you are headed in the right direction, just not quite.” He replied to you and he watched how your face contorted into confused frowns and then understanding ones as if you were realizing so many things in your head. 

“You mean to be able to, for example… Ask things?” He pointed a finger at you with a smile to his face.

“And there’s the first one. Yes… Till now I was the one engaging in conversations, being in text form or here. I was the one asking you all the questions.” You gave him a nod in understanding, feeling the knot in the stomach not so strongly as before. He is attractive, yes, but he is not making moves, or comments, or anything to put you in a nervous state. The nervousness was still there, and you still struggled to keep eye to eye contact, but you were facing him.

“I see… So, I gotta go shopping then?” You say with a small smile on your face and he chuckles at you, nodding, taking a sip of his beer.

“Remember, dress for you. Not for the other people around you. If you feel confident in it, then it’s all that matters. By confident, I don’t necessarily mean comfortable, but that can also help.” You were staring at him as if you had found a personal god of some sort. This man, this male stripper, was giving you better advice than any therapist ever gave you, than your FRIENDS ever gave you in fact. 

You were grateful for them, but they never understood that you wanted to get better. Instead, they always made sure to make you comfortable whenever you all went out together, always protected you when men approached your group, but never once helped you make the leap of getting better, of trying to be normal like them. They just accepted you the way you are.

But you didn’t want to be accepted like this. Not anymore.

“What is your favorite movie?” You asked him, and his eyes slightly widened at that, surprised by the change of conversation, but it seems you caught on in what you had to do. He smiled and laid back on the booth.

“Okay, what do you think my favorite movie is? Just by looking at me.” He says, flipping his hair over his shoulder and you giggled, as you looked at him. The nerves in your belly started forming again as you scanned his features, but you were trying to fight against it, feeling your heart hammering in your chest.

You didn’t want to say the wrong thing, and you didn’t want to judge him. But he was asking you himself, right? And if you say something wrong it can be directed as a joke, but maybe he doesn’t like it? Maybe he thinks you are throwing yourself on him? WHat if you say something insinuating to him and you didn’t realize it? What would he say–

“You’re thinking too much about it. Stop.” He was looking at you, and you didn’t even notice you went into a sort of trance, trying to think of the words to say. You shook your head, body filling you up in flames, so before you went into a panic, he continued talking. “Just say the first thing that comes to your head. I am not a person that easily gets offended, sweetheart.”

Those words actually made your nerves settle somewhat, and you took a deep breath in to try to make your heart do the same. You inspected him again and he bit the inside of his cheek to hold back a smirk.

“You look like a… The Notebook fan.” You joked, his eyes going wide, a laugh escaping his lips and you couldn’t help but giggle with him, his laugh being contagious, and the tips of your fingers began to feel warmth once again.

“Oh my god, how did you catch me? Am I that obvious?”

End of part 2

A/N: I promise that... things are just gonna heat up from here on out. This was just to prepare you guys for it. (Billy and Steve will make an appearance soon.) I might change the rating on here to Mature, so if you don't have it enabled, please do.

Taglist is open, comment if you want in or send me an ask ;)

Taglist: @katethetank @mynameismothra @emxxblog @steph-speaks @fantasticmacaroni @aysheashea @sweet-villain @sillypurplemurple @eddiemunsonthoughts @emilyslutface @bookshelf-dust @bibieddiesgf @justheretostan

[reverieblondie]

Be Sweet to Me

Chapter 1

Pairing: Miguel O’Hara X Fem!reader

Warnings: None for this chapter, but there will be eventual smut, Pining, and teasing. For now- Fluff and Miguel struggles with grumpiness and realizing his touched started, but he's just over worked. Alternating POVs

Summary: People say many things about you're co-worker, and sure he's not the most social but you won't give up being friends with him! Little do you know Miguel is juggling so much in his life, and getting used to you is proving to be more difficult than he thought.

A/N: I am so excited to be finally be making this series! The Alternating pov's is different than what I normal do, but I think it works best for this story! This is heavily influenced by the song Be Sweet by Japanese Breakfast. Unsure how many chapters this will be, so look out for updates! if you would like to be tagged please comment to let me know!

Word count: 3,447

Part 2

“Y/n, I need you to organize the samples and make sure that all the documents are in order before the meeting.” 

Giving a slight huff you stop your work, turning on your heels to face your coworker.

“Okay, but what's the magic word?” you playfully tease with the slightest hint of condensation. 

Turning his head you see the unenthused glare in his eyes despite them being shaded behind the round tinted glass. You're still not fully convinced he needs those things inside, some kind of light sensitivity he's explained once but you suspect he might just like the cool guy aesthetic it gives him. Though you wouldn’t blame him if that was truly the case, it does look kinda cool. 

Face scrunched in that way you have gotten used to seeing over these past few months since working here at Alchemax. Chiseled jaw clenched shut, his full lips pressed in that iconic frown, thick brown hair styled back to try and tame the unruly waves, and tall bulky figure that you used to be intimidated by, (okay, sometimes you still are) but you have slowly adjusted to your co-worker: Miguel O’Hara. 

He stared at you for a beat before turning back to his work without another word, his oh-so-subtle way of telling you to shut it and do as you're told. “Alright alright, I’ll get it done. Don’t have to tell me twice.” 

One thing you have learned about working with Miguel is he may not always speak with words so if you want to create an effective work area with him you have got to be good at reading his expressions. Working with a guy like Miguel had its challenges, for one his mood: he's not exactly the easiest to get along with, and people call him cold or cocky depending on the day.  

Then there was how busy he kept himself, always working on something, typing on screens, working with experiments, or tapping away at that clunky watch of his. Even on the days he’s not around due to him ‘working from home’ you can tell just by his face that he hadn’t given himself time to rest. What on earth could keep a man so busy? Well…you had an idea or two… 

Despite his grumpy demeanor you were determined to become friends with Miguel. It didn’t matter what others would tell you about him or how much he distanced himself, you saw the subtle glances, the repressing of smiles, the slight cracks in the shell, You two would become buddies you were sure of it. Maybe he just needed someone to show him the effort, to be sweet to him, then maybe he could lighten up and bring his walls down.  

Pulling out all the stops nothing was going to stop your attempts, you were always nice (even on days where that was particularly hard) Helping with things he didn’t ask of you, organizing and cleaning up behind him. Coffee was always a winner, you knew exactly how he liked it too, you kept making different attempts then stopped on the one where he wasn’t making a face while he took his first sip. -Success! 

Then there was the friendly encouragement, pats on the shoulder, and high fives. Sure he seemed hesitant to them at first but he slowly became used to them, baby steps. 

Every passing day was closer and closer to your friendship blossoming!

Magic word…was she serious? Why should he say please? It's her job to listen to what he tells her and do what he says considering he’s worked here longer. Miguel keeps typing away at his computer, lamenting in his mind how his co-worker was quite the character. 

Miguel couldn’t deny that having a co-worker who was tasked to help him in all his research did help him out more than he would ever admit. Having to juggle the secret identity of Spider-Man, being the leader of the spider society protecting the multiverse, and having to keep his role as head geneticist in Alchemax. Everything could get taxing very quickly on him. Layla was a great AI assistant but she was limited, so having an actual person tagging along to help him with work was bearable, though…you were a bit exuberant and that was taking some getting used to. 

The jokes, the odd habits, your clumsiness, the smart remarks you mumbled under your breath, your overwhelming friendliness. All this he could begrudgingly handle, but the thing that was still overwhelming him was the touching! Sometimes it wasn’t even touching at all you would just be so close.

First noticing it when you would stand so close that he would accidentally bump into you, if he was looking at a sample you were leaning over him to watch. You had no spatial awareness, running into him, running into things! The first month of you working here you broke so many things by running into them he thought they would run out of beakers.

Then the friendly gestures started happening. Miguel was used to people keeping their distance, meeting his gruffness, but you…oh no…you must have seen it has some challenge! The encouraging words, patting of his shoulder, spontaneous high fives, squeezing past him in tight areas, adjusting his coat for him, dusting off crumbs from his chest! Your Friendly proximity made him tense, it was…new and different, and he didn’t know how to handle it.

Though it could be worse, you could be a completely useless idiot. To Miguel’s surprise you did have a brain in that head of yours, so the trade-off for actual decent help was some playfulness from you he would just deal. It’s not like he wasn’t used to playful coworkers, the spider society made sure of that. Still, you were different…and that blossoming tingling your touch would leave on him…it was…annoying.  

Miguel's eyes move over to you as he watches you begin the task of organizing the samples and getting everything prepared for the meeting. Begrudgingly he was tasked with having to explain the recent studies and developments the two of you had made. The meeting was honestly bullshit, he hated having to report to the chairman, but they liked to keep a thumb on Miguel, making sure he was still their best brain. In fact, you had offered to take over and run over the presentation for Miguel but they denied that, had to be him…bastards 

For a moment you turn your head and look towards Miguel meeting his eyes, you shoot him a thumbs up and a smile, that friendliness still shining through. With an annoyed huff, he turns away getting back to his work. Still adjusting…

The two of you worked diligently for a couple of hours, in silence of course, there was no time to get distracted with chatting when so much needed to be done. Rubbing his hands over his face he could feel a wave of extortion taking over him. Sleep was something he wasn’t getting regularly, there was just never enough time in the day so sacrifices must be made. 

Eyes growing heavy and vision slightly blurring he feels himself slipping, but he can’t, he won't. Then a shrill alarm begins to blare from Miguel's wrist snapping him back awake. Miguel is quick to place his hand over his watch and sneak out of the lab unnoticed, lucky for him you were too concentrated on your work to notice his absence. Checking the message on his watch, it is a local emergency, something he can handle in fifteen minutes tops. With a quick few cracks of his neck, he's leaving to save the city again. 

Stretching feeling accomplished in yourself getting everything prepped single-handedly. Roaming your eyes around the lab you note the lack of bulk in the room. Huh, no Miguel? He must have done one of his disappearing acts again, probably just going to lunch without you. Invite yourself to lunch with him one time and now he doesn't even tell you when he's going. Matters on that guy, oh well, you might as well go get something before the meeting anyway. Coming to a stopping point you gather your things for a nice quick bite in the cafeteria. 

“I can’t see how you can work with him.” Ah, so much for a nice quick bite…

Sitting there trying to enjoy your lunch it’s the usual suspects who come to sit next to you, talking more at you and around you rather than to you. You can’t help but think that this annoying tinge you feel is what Miguel felt when he was ambushed by you. Though you couldn’t have been as annoying as these people. Complainy and gossipy types are not the best combos with your meal. 

Their subjects range from many topics like complaining about work, to failed experiments, personal problems, idol gossip, then it lands to the one directly aimed at you…Miguel. As soon as the question is asked you're looking up from your food to see all eyes on you. Chewing quickly and swallowing to ask your question. 

“I’m sorry what?” 

Sophia groans, “O’Hara, how can you work with him?” 

“Uh, well he does his thing, I do mine?” 

Julius chimes in “Isn’t he a total dick to you though?”

Cassidy is now giving her input to the topic, “Oh I can only imagine what you go through on the daily.” 

“Well ac-” trying to interject, you can’t even get a word in till you're being cut off by one of them.

“Yeah! Like I bet he is always bossing you around.”

“And probably insulting you in some way,” 

“One time he called my team brainless idiots because we messed up one small thing” -it was not a small thing, that took you and him an all-nighter to fix…

“That was-” you try again only to be cut off once more.

“Oh, and he is always being rude!” 

“God, how can you work with that monster!” 

With that last comment you had it, the noise wasn’t meant to be as forceful as it came out but they kept cutting you off and then bad-talking your research partner, you were fed up. Slamming your hands on the table with a hash slap, effectively silencing them, you rise from your seat grabbing your tray in the process. 

“If you have issues with him you should speak to him like he’s a person. He’s not some monster. Sure, he is not exactly social, but if this is how people talk about him behind his back it makes sense why he keeps his distance... I've lost my appetite, excuse me…” 

With that, your lunch break was over. 

“Spider-Man!” 

“You saved us!” 

“He’s a hero!”

“But…he’s kinda a jerk…”

“Didn’t he punch an old lady before?”

“I thought she punched him?” 

Uhhgg…would anyone ever get that story right? Miguel is prying the last bus hostage off him as they cling tightly to him. The vulture from his dimension was up to his usual antics but he made quick work of him and was now cleaning up the shocking mess. Having to save the people from the bus was no big deal, it was the pushy reporters, camera lights flickering in his face and the clingy person keeping themselves pressed to him that was the pain to deal with. Taking deep breaths he’s trying to keep his cool, but he can feel himself threatening to boil over. 

How come he can’t just ever save people and leave? Why was there always this extra crap to deal with? Finally getting the person off and seeing that all of what he could do was done he's trying to get out of there, but people can be so pushy…

Questions, Comments, Flashing lights, Praise, Criticism…he couldn’t help but snap, 

“Get out of my way! Leave me alone! And for shock's sake, try to learn to protect yourselves!”  

The crowd was shocked by this sudden outburst, but this should have come as no surprise from the grouchy hero. Spider-Mans in other dimensions were always known for being friendly, witty, funny, and nice to all they saved, Miguel didn’t exactly follow this blueprint. Miguel didn’t exactly mean to sound rude, just being a hero gets exhausting and patience was something he needed to work on. 

Miguel hears the gasp and murmurs amongst themselves about how he’s a dick, a jerk, arrogant, blah, blah…

Rolling his eyes, hidden underneath his mask he couldn't help but think of how irrational these people could be, say one thing the public wasn’t fond of and they are at your throat. It’s all of a sudden no longer how he just saved a busload of people, or saved the city by defeating a villain; No, now it’s about how rude he was. 

“Jerk!” 

“Boo!” 

“I hate you Spider-man!” -great…this just makes everything so much better with this thankless job. 

Swing off before the police come to further irritate him. As he swings back to Alchemax he’s wrapped up in his thoughts. This hero thing was not easy…everything he did wasn’t right, not what people wanted…he was always messing up in some way…nothing was ever good enough, he had to stretch himself thinner and thinner, keeping everything together. The pressure is immense…

Getting back to Alchemax, he changes and tries to resume back to his work, the fight had successfully woken him up but now he’s starving. Eating like sleep has also become a thing he has had to cut for the sake of time, but something quick should be fine before he gets back to work.

Stopping by the cafeteria Miguel immediately spots you sat by Sophia, Julius, and Cassidy, not good company for you to keep. Well honestly anyone, they might catch their stupid. Making sure to be as unnoticed as possible last thing he needs is you trying to wave him over to your table. Coffee with a bagel is all he needs to grab so he can make his escape back to the lab. Grabbing a coffee that thankfully wasn't made by you, his sensitive ears can’t help but catch what's being said at your table. No surprise it’s about him. 

Listening in he is catching fragments of the conversation sipping his coffee trying his best to ignore the meaningless conversation, till a remark of him makes him pause at the threshold of the entryway. 

 “How can you work with that monster!”

Monster…huh…is that how people see him? Mutated, sure, grouchy, and tempestuous maybe, But a monster. A ping in his chest makes his hands tighten around the cup. Talons threatens to poke through but he resists. If they want to see him as a monster then so be it…he doesn't care…

Suddenly, a slam, followed by your familiar voice catches him by surprise,

“He’s not some monster. Sure, he is not exactly social, but if this is how people talk about him behind his back it makes sense why he keeps his distance”

“Not some monster…” Your words can’t be helped from echoing through his head. You sound so angry, you never sound angry. Looking over he sees your face furrowed in a glare. He didn’t think your face knew how to do that. Watching as you walk away in a haste away from the table he's leaving to his usual eating spot hidden away from others. 

Taking his shades off in the empty break room he dims the lights down as he sinks into one of the chairs. Finally getting even a moment of a break, even taking time to peacefully relax he finds he is unable to. Even sitting leaning back he still feels teased, irritated, stressed. Trying to shut his mind for even a moment, a second of a break he finds it to be an impossible task. But as he sits, his usual stresses fade to be replaced by your words. Miguel could have cared less about what those idiots had to say about him. The surprising thing was that you were defending him…not that he needed it… but it was…kind of you…

Taking a bite out of the bland bagel he groans to himself, annoyed. 

It's almost time for the meeting and you're pacing outside the doors with everything ready to go, except you haven’t seen Miguel anywhere. Running behind is a thing you are not used to from him, he’s usually so timely but you haven’t seen him at all since he left for what you thought was lunch. Did he get caught up doing something else?

 Minutes tick by and you're growing more anxious by the second. Would he just not show up? It’s a possibility, but he would be putting both your asses on the line, though he didn’t have to worry much about that, they wouldn’t fire their best brain, but…you're a bit more expendable.

Before you can continue thinking about your ass being on the chopping block Miguel is rounding the corner adjusting his coat and walking in a casual strut. Looking at him as he approaches you notice his appearance looks a bit different. That shirt does seem a bit wrinkled and his tie is completely messed up from earlier. What has he been doing? Mid-day workout? Did he have an accident in the lab and have to go change? But the clothes are the same, just wrinkled.

Or was he doing something else… Thinking for a moment over what you could be doing that would cause messed up clothes an image of a sweaty grunting Miguel pops into your brain. Pushing down the thought with an internal slap to yourself you decide to greet him as friendly as possible. 

“You're running behind Miguel” -okay you can’t help but tease him a bit. Friends rass each other all the time. 

“Yeah, got…caught up in something…” he speaks hesitantly, suspicious…

Miguel gets ready to go inside but you quickly grab him by the shoulder to get his attention “Hold on there, you can’t go in there looking like that” 

Turning to face you, he looks at you confused then looks down at himself, “What? I look fine.” 

Scoffing, you roll your eyes and point to his chest where his tie is haphazardly knotted together in a rushed fashion.

“Your tie” Before he can protest your hands are already getting to work losing his tie gently, “Let me help you” 

With the silk tie undone hanging down his chest, you're moving your hands to raise his collar. As you concentrate on the task your eyes are fixed on his neck you observe that as your fingers slightly brush over his warm skin his body teases slightly. Straightening his neck, you know he’s about to say something.  

“Why are you nice to me? I know what others say about me, so how come? Are you trying to pity me?” His voice is stern and this isn’t what you were expecting out of him right now. Did he hear you earlier? 

The slight laugh that escapes you couldn’t be helped. Moving your hands you cross the two ends to tie in a classic Windsor knot. “Leave it to you to think someone being nice to you is just a ruse to pity you. I just want to be nice to you.” 

Remaining silent you continue to loop and twist the tie, your knuckles blushing over him, you swear you see his skin pickle up for a moment with a slight shiver. Finishing up, you tighten it to his neck and carefully fold his collar back down, keeping your eyes on your work at hand, you watch as his Adam's apple slightly bobs as you adjust it properly. 

Sliding your hands to the silk tie you brush your fingers down the soft fabric straightening it while laying down flat against his chest. The feeling of his chest tightness under your fingertips and his breath seems to be slightly slow, you don’t know if he is hating this or being relaxed by it. 

Meeting his eyes, they are unshaded for you to observe their burgundy hue. His face is still stern looking but you know this one has that slight softness in his eyes, meaning his listening, he is waiting for you to speak again. 

“I want us to be friends, simple” 

Miguel's lips slightly part as if he was about to speak, but before he could the conference room doors opened with them calling Miguel in. Turning to you there is a look on his face you're not completely used to, but that will have to wait for now. Giving a quick pat to his chest you smile up at him. 

“You got this Miguel, good luck.” 

[luneariaa]

ᯓ★٠ ࣪⭑ INJURY. ( bucky b. )

mentions about you being injured but not that detailed, bucky being worried as always, playful banters between the two of you, not much proof-read, usage of doll nicknames as always.

this is almost going nowhere but eh 😭

tagging : @xxladyballadxx || dividers by @/saradika-graphics !! 💜

"Doll!"

Bucky grabs onto your wrist almost too carefully so; bringing you along with him to the outside, vacant space beside the unused car. He begins to do some checking here and there over your figure, inspecting any possible harmful injuries while kneeling in front of you.

"Does it hurt?" He questioned worriedly, just in case, even when he just found a cut right on one of your cheeks. Thankfully, it's not too deep, so it might heal in a few days prior.

"Ouch.." You tried your best to mask your pain with a small pout, but to no avail. It's just a 'small' cut after all, you should be fine.

"You're lucky that it's nothing too serious. If it's something worse, you might give me a heart attack or something."

"Don't die yet." Your voice came out in an almost humorous, beseeching way-- yet in purpose regarding to his previous statement. "Who am I gonna annoy then?"

He rolls his eyes upon your choice of words, "Oh wow doll, I'm touched." The sarcasm is evident within his tone, trying to play it off as if he's not that concerned.

As if wanting to test it even further, he lightly smacked your thigh-- albeit almost playfully-- making sure you're really okay despite your look of disbelief.

"That's what you get for making me worried, and for being reckless." You merely pouted once again upon his remarks, the quiet utterance of 'hey' escapes from your lips involuntarily.

"You're insufferable, you know that?"

Bucky didn't mean it, of course. He secretly enjoys watching and getting every single reaction out from you.

"Thanks for reminding me!" You retaliated wryly, rolling your eyes over his words this time; somewhat aware of his true intentions, yet decided to play along for now.

Not too long after, he gently grabs ahold of your face, causing your gaze to land upon his own as he examines for any visible wounds being present. His touch is so tender, and almost making the pain from the cut earlier to dissipate into nothingness.

"Don't throw yourself out in the way next time. If I see you doing that again, I'm not and won't speak to you for a month, got it?"

He wouldn't dare to do that anyway-- both of you knew for a fact.

"Is that supposed to be a threat?"

".. dramatic ass." You huffed slightly, shaking your head. "You know damn well that's not gonna happen."

Another eye roll was received from him. "Don't try to change the subject."

"But I bet your fine ass won't listen to whatever I have to say, so I'm keeping you away from fighting anything for now."

"You can't do that!" You gasped almost too dramatically for your own liking, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Try me."

No traces of playfulness are present anymore-- only dead seriousness. The least he could do is to allow you handle one more enemy before, but the chances are low, and surely, the others have taken care of it by now.

You initially wanted to try arguing back, but also well aware on how pointless it would turn out. So instead, you simply sighed rather heavily, slumping your shoulders in defeat.

"Fine, you win." You grumbled reluctantly, shifting your gaze away from his own while he wipes your slightly bloodied cheek with some sort of a tissue-- pulling you into his strong arms after.

You couldn't even be mad at him or anything, especially when he's just worried about your well-being.

Bucky doesn't reply just yet; merely embracing you for a bit more, while still being cautious over any possible wound being present on you that's still left unseen. The feeling is still quite new to him, since he doesn't just hug people that often.

But he wouldn't lie-- it genuinely feels nice, and it brings him some sort of comfort, at least.

This time, he makes an exception for you. He's clearly trying himself, and you somehow knew that even when he didn't tell you anything.

"Sorry.." Your voice is somewhat muffled by the leather jacket he's wearing, yet he still heard you nonetheless. One of his gloved hands gradually reaches out to the back of your head-- stroking your hair so delicately as possible.

"It's fine, doll."

"Just be careful next time. For me."

@luneariaa. do not repost; reblogs are welcomed. all rights reserved.

[sugawhaaa]

Introduction⋆.°ᡣ𐭩.𖥔°

✨️Requests✨️

-I accept requests 24/7 but I cannot guarantee when you're request will be uploaded

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🌊Fanfic information🌊

-I currently only write for 5 groups but this may change in the future :) when I stan new groups I wait at least a month before writing fics to make sure I have the best accuracy of their personality!!

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Masterlist (?)

-I created a master list a few months back but unfortunately, multiple links refused to work and after much trial and error I was unable to get the master list working. I then basically gave up and stopped updating it but if you still wanna see it for whatever reason the link is at the bottom of this post

🔍- however if you wish to look for certain fanfics I have written there is a little button at the top of my page with a search marking (🔍) if you click on it you can search any group, member, or fanfic title that I have posted about. Then all the results for your search will come up :)

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Masterlist::

Ateez smut audio masterlist

Ateez headcanons/reactions masterlist

[filmbyjy]

How hyung line would look after you on your period ?

a/n: oh actually I’ve done one with the whole group before but since this is only for the hyung line, it’s going to be a new one! also it’s great to know i’m currently on my period as I started writing this🧌currently dying👍🏻

WARNING: since it is the hyung line, i'm making it more suggestive than usual. why? bc these four have me on chokehold. which also means minors please do not interact. mentions about giving head. mentions of makeout. i'm putting this in the smut tag only bc i realise the more i write, the more i want to go further😀.

enhypen reacts [hyung line]: taking care of you during your period

— placing this in case the read more messes up —

❦ heeseung

oh lee heeseung…holding back myself bc i may pounce

but anyways, i've said in my other post with the whole group, heeseung would definitely be sweet

he buys you pads whenever you run out (with addition of him being terrified by the heaps of pads and tampons in that section)

helps make tea (or coffee but i'm more of tea girl) when you feel in pain.

helps you distract from your cramps by making you laugh

he still that sweet boyfriend but...

his patience is at the low when he's getting hot and heavy.

i mentioned that heeseung now uses kisses to make you feel better whenever you are having cramps.

and when those kisses get carried away, you bet your asses you will be laid back onto the couch as heeseung hovers over you.

and he would get annoyed if your cramps interrupt his kissing session with you.

if it escalates even further, you have to stop him and remind him that you are on your period.

to which, he groans

"i just want to give you some love. why does mother nature have to come at the worst timing." he complains.

oh lee heeseung, you wished god never made women suffer with periods every month but there was no choice.

so to suffice heeseung's lust, you umm well offer him to give him head.

and yes, he agreed bc who wouldn't want to receive head from their significant other.

❦ jay

okay so i've mentioned before that since jay is an only child, he wouldn't know much about periods and stuff

after all, the only womanly figure around him is his mom.

however, he does quickly learn how to handle these sorts of things bc well he is simply park jongseong.

and once he becomes a pro at it then yay! happy girlfriend = happy jay

now for the suggestive part...

jay, to put it quite frankly, has a high sex drive. i won't lie

but he is a patient man so he will wait

however, not when you've been teasing him.

you've gotten more horknee during your period and like you have a hunk of a boyfriend

how are you not supposed to tease him

your kisses always lingered on him and it makes him want to swoop you in and kiss you hard

but he knows he shouldn't

"love, we shouldn't." jay says.

"but i just want to kiss you."

"if i kiss you, i won't be able to control myself."

but of course, you kissed him.

it ends with you and him having clothed sex and yes, it was the hottest thing you've done with jay.

❦ jake

i've mentioned that jake has 'golden retriever' energy

and it's true he does

he would be a good boy and run around helping you whenever he needs to

bc he loves you

which does make him sound like a total simp, which he is. however, do you wear the pants in the relationship?

unfortunately, you don't bc although jake is all 'happy puppy', he can turn into a total menace with you.

tbh, he hates whenever you have your period. sure he takes care of you and whatever.

but to him, a period is like cockblocker

he can't have sex with you

and we all can tell that he has a high sex drive (read: scorpio sign staring right back at you)

so like whenever, it's that time of the month...jake has no choice but to either jerk off or be holy and not touch himself

if he decides to stay holy is bc he would rather feel you than use his hands.

however, if he can't wait then his right hand will be of use.

❦ sunghoon

i didn't mention much in hoon's side bc it was just crack

and honestly, it's true

sunghoon just wants to liven up the mood bc he knows it probably hurts

or well you told him how much it hurts

sunghoon doesn't enjoy seeing you in pain so he opts to make you smile

or well...see you flustered

sunghoon likes to also tease you during your period

why? bc you can't do anything about it

little does he know, your hormones go way worse when it's that time of the month.

he will trap you against a wall, lean down to nearly kiss your lips and then pulling away.

you hate it but you also loved it bc god you loved the tension whenever it happens.

finally, you cracked. you wrapped your arms around sunghoon's neck and kissed him. he wasn't fazed by it since he wanted this too.

it escalates further, you were in the bedroom. straddling sunghoon's lap still kissing him and grinding down on him.

sunghoon knows this should stop but he drunk off the feeling, it had been a long time (it was only 2-3 days).

you had ended it off by giving him head and he helped you out by letting you ride his thigh.

[luvscr]

price, ghost and alejandro reacting to m!reader's sh scars (hcs)

cw/tags: depression, sh, scars, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff fluff fluff, probably ooc characters but idc🫶

apologies for any grammatical erros!

long ass note:

so i got this request which i won't be showing in case it might trigger someone nor will i tag the person who requested this bc im not sure if he would be comfortable with it. i've never written about sh hurt comfort before, simply because i didn't feel like i could do justice for the comfort part but i tried my best and tried to make it not so triggering. your media consumption is your own responsibility, please proceed carefully and do not read if you're not in the right mindset. if you're struggling, i know it's hard but please reach out to a loved one or even me. you're not alone, you matter.

—

price:

it was purely on accident that he saw your scars. he wouldn't mention it to you but he would ask around, people you interact with if they've heard or seen anything. when they asked questions he would simply shut them down or use his rank and pull the "classified information" card. he wouldn't really know what to do, given he's your superior so it was kind of his responsibility, so he got in touch with kate to help him find a therapist. his first instinct is to get professional help if needed. he would invite you to his office so it's just the two of you and make you comfortable, even make you a cup of tea. he would approach the topic carefully and wouldn't force you to tell anything you didn't want to, reassure you that he's not upset, he just wants to help. if you refuse to get a therapist it's okay, he completely understands and will offer you to talk to him instead. he may come off as stern sometimes but it's just because he genuinely cares so much about you and is worried constantly, no matter how old the scars are. he would try to think of alternatives for you to put that energy into if you still struggle and would be there anytime to comfort you. he kinda acts like a dad (like w everyone bruh)

—

ghost:

oh sweet lord this man. he kind of had a feeling when he noticed that even in the hottest weather you only wore long sleeved clothes. he would notice them when your sleeve and the somewhat shorts you had on accidentally rolled up. you just ignored his eyes burning holes through you, given it was normal for him to just stare menacingly at anyone. (not on purpose tho he just looks mean by default) i wouldn't say it would trigger him, but it would definitely stir up some unpleasant feelings inside of him because of his past. he knows exactly how you feel and wants to help you, no matter if you're a friend or just some rando at the base. just like price he would approach the subject carefully, knowing well how hard it is to reach out for help and how it's even harder to open up and actually talk about it. he isn't the best at comforting but he's is a damn good listener and he'll let you know that if you need him don't hesitate to talk to him even if it feels useless. will crack those stupid jokes of his to make you feel better lol tbh i feel like he would be the best kind of person to open up to because he relates so much, he completely understands the feeling of being ashamed of self-destructive activities and would be the sweetest during a relapse. would caress gently the older scars on your body if you allow him to :(<3

he strikes me as a very straightforward person bc of the graves scene. my dude just straight up told the cabrón to stfu (as he should!!) so based on this i think as soon as he sees he's all up in your business. of course not with the intention to make you uncomfortable but he just wants to make sure you're okay and is absolutely willing to help whether it's finding a therapist or just giving a shoulder to lean on. he values every single person in his life and would literally do anything for them and obviously you're no exception. ngl it would be kind of uncomfortable and awkward as you're not used to so much attention especially surrounding your mental health, but he just wants to do good and he's willing to do anything to help and i mean anything. you need a break from work? done. a hug? you don't even have to ask. he will do everything for you if you feel too drained to do even basic things such as cooking meals, helping you shower if you're comfortable with that and etc. basically becomes a househusband for you!

—

alejandro:

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Okay again with this whole 'AO3 needs an app' bs - people are saying that one of the best features of fake unofficial apps they have used is that it keeps track of fics you have already read.

1) AO3 highlights links you have already clicked on before (this does expire after some time, and it differs between desktop and mobile, but it's something).

2) Why the fuck do people act like it's such a crime to click on or re-read a fic you have already read before?

This is just a huge problem for me as a fanfic writer, and it does fall in line with people constantly asking me for sequels to fics or asking me to make fics longer when I have a huge backlog of similar fics or fics with my similar style - you don't constantly need a stream of brand new fics. You don't.

Most fanfic readers today are spoiled brats.

Having thousands of people on the internet at your fingertips who enjoy the same show you do and enjoy the same characters you do, actively providing you with hundreds of thousands of words of fiction for free - it is a privilege.

You would not have survived in the days when people had to mail each other hard copies of fics or when most of the fics on websites were one or two chapters in and then abandoned forever and you were lucky to find a fic that was finished. But even then it was probably riddled with grammar errors and funky ANs because it was written by a middle schooler. Because every single fanfiction writer was a middle schooler back then.

Please, please - learn to reread old fics without complaining about it. "Ugh, that feeling when you click on the perfect fic only to find out partway through that you have read it before."

If you are reading so much fic that you can't even tell them apart in the first few lines or paragraphs, that means you are blindly consuming fics rather than appreciating them. If you think that finding out you have read a fic before is a disappointment - you are a problem.

If you get partway through a fic and find out you have read it before, fucking enjoy it. Leave the author a nice comment telling them how much their fic captured your attention.

Fanfiction authors do this for free. And you eat up all their work so quickly and then ask for more, and then have the gall to complain when you 'accidentally' click on the same fic twice. Please - check yourself.

You don't need an AO3 app, you need to gain some patience and understanding and appreciation for the people who make your favourite form of entertainment in this mass consumption tiktok era.

Also, just in case I have to say it - reading and commenting on really old fics is not cringe. AO3 and even Tumblr is not fucking Instagram - if you go back and comment on someone's work from six years ago, you won't seem like a creepy stalker, you will seem like a cool explorer. You will make the author's day bright. So please, please - I dare you to go into your favourite AO3 tag, and go all the way back to the oldest page, find something you like - and leave a comment on it. Read older fics. Please!!!

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

september 1, 2021 5:00 p.m. newcrest hospital

[five hours later]

[dr. winters] so, you’re an interesting case.

[grant] don’t i know it?

[dr. winters] fortunately, the excellent news here is that your physical exam is overall outstanding.

[dr. winters] all your blood work and vitals are great, your eyesight’s correctable to normal, and you have no other underlying disease besides the autoimmune stuff.

[dr. winters] disclaimer that you should lay off the cigarettes, but...

[dr. winters] still, based on these factors, i see no real reason to deny your medical on physical grounds. the MRI of your spine was very concerning, but i did read the letter from your rheumatologist clearing you for work again, and you passed all my exams just fine, so it’s not an issue in my eyes unless your disease and/or functioning significantly worsen.

[grant] well, that’s...good?

[dr. winters] not so fast. don't get too excited. as much as i'd like to send you out with your medical today, i can’t.

[grant] alright. fair enough.

[dr. winters] i'm not denying you, to be clear. i'm deferring your case to federal administration.

[dr. winters] this is the unfortunate part. because you suddenly admitted to having previous substance abuse issues, have brand new mental health diagnoses, and are on some medications that are neither approved nor banned, it’s out of my hands.

[dr. winters] you would need a special issuance medical, which is only something the administration can give out.

[dr. winters] if you’re granted one, it is a full first-class medical and will clear you to fly and hopefully approve your current medications with no issues, but it will tag you as having health conditions, and it’ll probably place restrictions on your medical, like more frequent medical exams and no flying if you’re having x, y, and z symptoms.

[grant] okay, sure. what should i do next?

[dr. winters] well, i'll forward all the paperwork from you to them along with my reports from today. at some point, the administration will send you a whole bunch more paperwork in the mail, and they’ll ask you to explain all your medications, your psychiatric history, and why the hell you were diagnosed with multiple psychiatric disorders all at once and so late in life.

[dr. winters] whatever you say, be as honest as possible. i will gently remind you that lying to them is a felony.

[dr. winters] you’ll mail all your responses back to them, and then they’ll tell you to submit to a neurocognitive screen and a psychiatric evaluation. i can go ahead and refer you to doctors who can offer you those screenings. they'll also want statements from any psychiatrists and therapists you've seen basically confirming they think you're stable enough for this kind of employment.

[dr. winters] and finally, after they review all the new materials plus your flight records, you’ll either get approved or denied.

[grant] there's some hope?

[dr. winters] yes. you have held a medical before. you'll just have to jump through more hoops this time to prove your capabilities. worst case scenario you lawyer up and sue until you get results. and no, i'm not joking. in complex cases like yours, i often recommend a lawyer.

[grant] i don’t want a lawyer.

[dr. winters] at least not yet. don't count the legal route out. the worst worst case scenario is that you're denied. if they deny you and you feel that's unfair, the law is the only solution you have left.

[grant] got it. well, um, thanks for all your help. i guess i'll wait for new paperwork from the administration then. how long should the whole process to take, assuming it all goes smoothly?

[dr. winters] oh, it won't go smoothly. your case will sit on someone’s desk until the file rots or the sun blows up, whichever comes first, unless you call incessantly. so, do that. call, call, and call again until someone does something with it.

[dr. winters] and maybe you’ll get a final decision in...

[dr. winters] six months? a year? hopefully not longer than that.

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

do u have any tvdint fic reccs? <- has been combing through the tvdint ao3 tag several times

If you've been through the AO3 tags, then chances are you've read most of my reccs, but i'll list em anyway as well as the few i've read through on Pixiv :0

Please keep in mind that you should always read through the tags and warnings of these fics (and ANY fic) before proceeding. I tend to like darker/angsty storylines, so just be aware. Most of these reccs are SFW, but there are a couple that dip into NSFW territory.

Besides grouping them from English AO3 fics, Non-English AO3 fics, and Pixiv fics, there is no order to this list

"I'm Not Going Anywhere" by AruiI: Ronaldo gets critically injured during a hunt. Draluc does his best to keep him alive until he can get to a hospital, and is forced to realize just how scared he is to potentially lose him

Stages of Grief by WyvernQuill: Draluc decides to prove to his friends that Ronaldo doesn't care about him, and plays a prank where he seems to have permanently died. Author wrote this fic before discovering that Chapter 47 was a thing that existed, but is a lovely tragic take on the Draluc permadeath concept

Underground by MerrilyAround: Ronaldo and John return to their apartment to find Draluc and his coffin mysteriously missing. Meanwhile, a very vocal anti-vampire group are being very cryptic about what could have possibly happened to him

Don't Lie to Me by AruiI: Draluc gets sick and tries his damnedest to hide it, at the detriment of his own health. Needless to say, Ronaldo finds out, and does his best to take care of him, while having no idea what he's doing

The Invicible's Opponent by tori1116: Ronaldo ends up with a broken arm after a job, and realizes he's gonna have a lot of trouble bathing with one working arm. Draluc offers to help. This is a Chinese fic, but the story is rewritten in English in the second chapter. NSFW warning. Some absolutely killer characterization in this one, chef's kiss

I'm going back to 505 by Insane_fangurL: Ronaldo offhandedly wishes that Draluc would stay dead. Little does he know that someone who is very willing to make that happen was listening

Something Bothered. by CowboyAdvice: Draluc's cousin is getting married, and Draluc and Ronaldo are invited to the wedding. Draluc is less than thrilled for reasons he won't delve into, and the arrangements for their involvement are a little eyebrow-raising. NSFW warning

you're gonna carry that weight by notreally: Ronaldo gets kidnapped by a vampire with a grudge. He has to resist and fight tooth and nail if he wants to survive. Love this one purely cuz it showcases Ronaldo's ability to truly fight that we rarely ever get to see in canon lol

Case #94 by Moana230: A reimagining of Chapter 1 of the manga. Ronaldo is a private investigator hired by a woman to figure out where her kid keeps sneaking off to. This leads him to a decrepit castle with lots of still-active booby traps and a mysterious voice leading him around

The Inverse Relationship between a Gentleman and a Contradiction by ferret: A lovely Inverse!AU story. Draluc dwells on this strange, overly-flowery hunter who has taken a fancy to him, and realizes a lot of their sweet, innocent words don't line up with the rest of them

thinner than water (thicker than blood) by awesomecookies: A wonderful take on Hiyoshi's earlier years. A story of a kid who was thrown into adulthood too early, and didn't want to let go of that freedom that came with being young, even when it came at the detriment of neglecting his responsibilities with his little brother and sister

And I Taste Milk (Please, Please Runaway) by awesomecookies: A Coffeeshop!AU fic. Ronaldo works at a crappy coffeeshop and has begrudgingly taken a fascination with the snarky, chronically ill man who looks a little too much like a vampire for comfort and his two adorable kids. (Sidenote i think this is genuinely the first coffeeshop au i've ever read f;aoiefna)

Okay from here on out, the fics are not written in English and don't have any official translations. I shucked them through a translator, and they read mostly coherently, and these are my favorite ones that i've found

月白 by overdriveojoj: Draluc has a secret that he's never told anyone, not even John: when he dies, he can see the auras of everyone around him. He becomes infatuated with observing the differences between them, and becomes especially entranced with Ronaldo's moon-white aura

昼夜交替 by Qi_U: A collection of oneshots, ranging in tone and humor. My personal favorite is chapter 2, where Draluc decides to move away from Shinyoko and takes many trips down memory lane as he packs his things

【羅納德拉】A Thousand Years by SSilverse: A short fic Ronaldo and Draluc have a discussion about vampire and human romances, and why they typically don't work out.

his little color game by rodionychh: Draluc muses about all his favorite colors, and shockingly realizes that all of his favorites tie into Ronaldo in some way

【羅納德拉】旅行 by leci1028: Ronaldo decides that he wants to escape his current life and go on a roadtrip with Draluc and John with no real destination or ending; he and Draluc discuss the theoreticals of how it would all work out. I will be honest: this one guts me every time

I bet on losing dogs by a_ailema: After another stressful deadline crunch, Ronaldo realizes just how much Draluc means to him and how much he's improved his life. Draluc realizes the same about Ronaldo. A wonderful character study

德拉羅納短篇 by tori1116: Another collection of one shots. Highly recommend chapter 5, where Delta!Ronaldo actually succeeds in dying, and meets Canon!Draluc in the death realm. Draluc recounts just how he got there to satiate Ronaldo's curiosity and make him feel better. NSFW warning for some chapters iirc (admittedly it's been a while since I've read this one)

These last ones are on Pixiv. I don't find Pixiv's filtering system nearly as intuitive as AO3's, so most of these fics are ones i've read off of others' recommendations

退治人と吸血鬼の非公開事件 by みる: Ronaldo is visited by a mysterious lady who tells him that in 3 days, she will die. Investigating leads him and Draluc down a rabbit hole of experimentation, disease, and a strange murder mystery

ワルツはもう踊れない(ロナドラ)【5/4再版します】 by 46/shiro: After solving a strange case where a vampire killed her lover and drained his body of blood, Ronaldo realizes that he can't remember too many of the details surrounding the case. Something is up with his shooting hand, and Draluc is looking for strange accommodations that he's never requested before

深海で息をする by 土鳩: Draluc has fallen into the sea, and his ashes are scattered in the waves. Ronaldo has spent years and years trying to collect his ashes and bring him back. This story is written in a mob character's perspective

Con Fuoco by tomioka: Ronaldo confesses his feelings for Draluc, and the vampire doesn't respond. Soon after, something is awoken in Draluc that makes everything he touches burn.

悪夢を憐れむ歌 by カルノ: Ronaldo goes to the library one night and finds an odd book. On his way home after closing time, he spots Draluc in the rain being attacked by an obsessed fan, and goes to intervene. But not everything is as it seems.

Aaaanndd I think i'm gonna cut it off here for now. My brain is dead fa;oewfinae I have a lot more faves than what's on this list, but some of them are a little too my tastes to really share, some of them are a little to scandalous to share, and some of them are just "I remember liking this one but for the life of me i can't remember what it was about and i don't have the time to reread atm"

But hopefully this helped at least a little! This fandom is very small, but the fics are wonderful ^^

[juiceinpanties]

A Proper S'more, pt 2

Pairing: Eddie Munson/afab!reader

Rating(s): E

Words: ~5.5k

Tags: smut!, humping, nipple play, semi-public sexual activity, drug use (just some pot), flirting through food, friends to lovers, established friendship, oral (both), dirty talk, rough sex, LOTS of kissing, fingering, ass play, a bit of come play, unwrapped penetrative sex, subbie!Eddie, but also not-as-subbie Eddie, praise kink (him), reader likes to be called dirty names

Summary: Your best friend Eddie Munson invites you camping, and while you're reluctant at first, you realize this might be just the chance you need to finally show him how you feel.

Notes: I was rage-inspired by the TERRIBLE take on s'mores they recently featured on Great British Bake-Off. Pretty sure this is the first time the British have inspired hot, sexy smut. Thanks as always to @tonybourdain for her invaluable help as beta, idea bouncer-off-ofer, and just all around wonderful and amazing human.

Feedback is always welcome and appreciated and PLEASE reblog if you can! It's how posts spread around here; likes are appreciated, but they do nothing to boost interaction. :)

part 1 | part 2

In case you wanna read on Ao3 instead

Later that night you're all cleaning up dinner mess and stashing everything in bear-safe containers when Eddie sidles your way and smiles a little. "Hey."

"Hi," you say. "I heard Dustin tell Mike you peed your pants."

He rolls his eyes. "That little shit. He makes Dennis the Menace look angelic. Don't worry; I'll get him back in the next campaign and he knows it."

You can't help but giggle at the random shit that comes out of Eddie's mouth sometimes. "Sorry about that," you say.

"Don't worry about it. Worth it." He grins at you, his dark eyes big and bright even in the low light. "Way worth it." He clears his throat and tucks his thumbs into his back pockets before changing his mind and playing with a lock of hair instead.

"Do you want to—maybe, if you’re into it, no pressure—meet up later?" he mumbles.

"Like when later?"

He drags the bit of hair over his mouth. "Umm...maybe after everyone's gone to bed? Meet up here, then...go somewhere else?"

"Yeah, Grove. I'd like that." You lean in and lower your voice. "I wasn't done with you."

His cheeks turn pink and he fights a grin. "I wasn't done with you either, princess."

"Good," you say. "Later, then."

"Uh huh. Later." He stumbles a little as he prances away, but he rights himself and offers a wave to let you know he's okay. Jesus he's so cute. Bambi on ice like 80% of the time, at least.

You and Nancy are sharing a tent, but you know she wants to sneak off to Steve and Eddie's tent...and you want to sneak off with Eddie, so really it all works out. She gives you a knowing grin as you don't bother taking off your boots when you crawl inside.

"Meeting Eddie later?" she whispers.

You blush and fiddle with your boot laces. "Mhmm. We sort of got interrupted earlier."

"Uh huh, Steve mentioned that. Just be careful, okay? You don't want to get lost out there."

You nod. "Eddie seems like he knows these woods pretty well, and there's always Boy Scout Steve if we get too turned around."

"I think the kids are pretty much asleep if you want to go now," she says. "Don't forget the flashlight."

You grab it and crawl out. "Thanks, Nance," you whisper as she zips the flaps shut behind you.

The fire is banked for the night, but there's a nearly full moon, so you're able to make it to the picnic table without much trouble. You sit on the bench to wait, and before long Eddie appears. He smiles and presses a finger to his lips, then takes your hand to lead you into the woods.

He has a battery-powered lantern, but he keeps it off until you're far enough away it won't be noticed. He stops every now and then to tie bright orange streamers to trees. You poke his arm and point at one with a questioning gesture.

"Steve," he whispers. "Good ol' Boy Scout Steve. He gave them to me so we wouldn't get lost."

"What a thoughtful boy," you say.

"Uh huh."

You hike for a bit longer, until you reach a clearing bright from the full moon. He grins over his shoulder at you and spreads out the blanket he brought. "Wanna sit?" he says.

You drop down next to him with a smile. "So," you say. "What's on your mind tonight, Munson?"

"Hm?" He looks up from where he's fiddling with the lantern and quickly looks away again. "Oh, you know. Nothing. Just, uh. Just thought we could come hang out. You know, away from all the...everybody."

He clears his throat and settles down on the blanket, but he has his lighter in one hand and is flipping it over and over. He won't look at you.

"Grove?" you say, nudging him a little. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, yep, sure, everything's—everything's great. Um." He pushes to his feet and wanders away. Being so close to you is making his brain scramble. You smell so good, wood smoke and sweetness, and you're so warm and soft. There's a fire burning low in his belly, and every time he looks at you it just gets hotter.

"A little chilly out here, huh? Shoulda brought another blanket. Shit. Don't want you to be cold. We could go back if you—oh. Hi."

You've moved to stand in front of him, and with his nervous pacing he didn't hear you. You take his hand in yours and lead him back to the blanket. "Let's just sit," you say. "We don't have to do anything. It's just us, Grover. You and me, same as always."

"Riiiight," he says, doubtfully. "Except I've had my mouth on your nipples now."

"True. Does that make things different?"

"Um." He rubs a hand over his lips and his eyes dart down to your chest, then back up to your face. "Maybe a little. But only because I wanna do it again."

You smile. "I'd like you to do it again. But it can wait. Hey, do you still have that baggie?"

"Ohhh yeah good call." He fishes the baggie out of his pocket and grabs one of the joints. "Too bad we didn't bring any marshmallows."

"I think we'll live. If I get the munchies I'll just nibble on you."

Even in the low light you can see how his cheeks flush at that. He ducks his head to light the joint and takes a slow, deep drag before passing it to you. "Have you always been this evil?" he says on the exhale.

You shrug and take a pull. "Probably. I just keep it hidden most of the time."

He settles down with one knee pulled up, his arm draped over it. You lean against his other side and tangle your free arm with his.

"I kinda like it," he says after a contemplative silence. "I like..." He cuts his eyes your way, then back out toward the trees. He shifts his ass a little. "I like...hanging out with you."

"Mmm," you say. "I like hanging out with you too." You finish off the joint and pass him the roach to store away, then rest your head on his shoulder. Your voice softens. "I like what happened earlier."

He tucks the Sucrets tin away. "I liked it too." He's quiet, fiddling with the laces on his boots before he undoes them and sets them aside. When he comes back he lets his hand wander until his arm is around you and you're pressed against his chest. His eyes are on the stars as he wrestles with what to say. He wants you to know how much you mean to him, how much he cares about you.

He clears his throat and turns his head to press a soft kiss to the top of your head and take a deep breath of your sweet scent.

"I just, um—I don't want you to think that I—that that's all I want now. Just, you know. Dirty stuff."

You tilt your chin back to look at him, then kiss his jaw. "I know you don't. I don't either. But I'll tell you a secret."

"Hmm?" he says, angling his head so he can see your face.

You grin at him. "I like the dirty stuff," you whisper.

His mouth curves in a bashful grin. "Yeah?" He runs his finger over your lips. "You mean with me, or in general?"

You catch his finger between your teeth and swirl your tongue around it. His breath catches and his eyes go wide. "With you," you murmur. "Just you, Grove."

"Fuck," he says on a rough exhale. His hand buries itself in your hair and he drags you up to kiss you. You respond with a little whimper, kissing him back desperately, and he slowly pushes you back onto the blanket.

"Want you, princess," he breathes between hot, hungry kisses. "Wanna take such good care of you. Make you feel so good."

"Mmmm it's my turn!" you say. You push at his shoulder until he rolls over, and you pounce on top of him. He lets out a surprised, breathless laugh that turns to a quiet moan when you bite the spot where the pulse pounds in his neck. You swirl your tongue against the spot and reach down to tug at his shirt.

His back arches enough to get it off, and then you're working your way down, kissing and biting and sucking. "Marks?" you ask.

He gives a quick, desperate nod. "Please! Mark me all up, baby!" He wants to be marked, wants to look in the mirror tomorrow and see you all over him. He wants to remember how hungry you were for him, how you wanted him as much as he wants you.

You smirk and do as he's begging. You bite harder. Suck longer. You kiss and lick every mark you leave, and soon you've made your way down to his soft tummy and the delicate line that leads down from his bellybutton.

"Can I take these off?" you say as you hook your finger in the waistband of his jeans.

He swallows. His heart is pounding so hard he can barely think. "Yeah, babe. Please."

You undo the button, then slowly unzip them before tugging them down to his ankles. You sit back on your knees to study him: shirt off, jeans around his ankles, cock big in his blue boxers.

"Such a slutty boy," you say with a little grin. You run your fingers along his erection. "Is this for me?"

He whimpers, hips bucking a little. "Yeah, fuck, all yours!"

"Mmmmm." You lean down to bite his tummy and pull his boxers off. His cock springs free and you lick your lips at the sight of it: thick and hard and so pink, even in the low light. "So pretty," you murmur. You wrap your hand around it and rub your thumb across the head. "Of course such a pretty boy has a pretty cock."

"You think—you think I'm pretty?"

You look up at him with his big eyes, flushed cheeks, kiss-swollen lips. "I think you're the prettiest boy I've ever seen," you say. You kiss the tip of his cock and suck it into your mouth.

He makes a rough, high-pitched noise and grips the blanket for dear life. "Fuck, babe! Please!"

"Please what, baby boy? Use your words."

He whines through clenched teeth. "Need your mouth, princess! Suck my cock, please!"

You shiver and clench your thighs together at the rush of wet heat in your cunt. "Gonna, sweet boy. You sound so pretty begging like that." You suck him into your mouth, deep, and he groans.

You wanted to tease him, make this really last, but you're so goddamn wet and your pussy is throbbing so hard you don't have the patience. Instead you suck him like your life depends on it, rough and sloppy and hungry.

He loves every second of it. "Fuck, princess, oh fuck! Fuckin A don't stop, don't stop, just like that!!"

Your head bobs as his cock fills your mouth, the flared head presses into your throat. You gag, pull out, and repeat. Drool drips down his shaft and onto his balls, and you wrap one hand around the base and the other around his sack. You squeeze, just a little, and at the noise he makes you do it again.

You pop off and smirk at him, at his flushed cheeks and messy hair and slack mouth. "Dirty boy. Look at this hard, leaky cock! I bet you want to come, don't you?"

He makes an incoherent, wrecked noise and manages to nod, then shakes his head. "Whatever you want, baby! I'm yours. Cock's yours!"

"Mmmm." You lick your swollen lips. "That's right. What a good boy." You stroke him slowly, enjoying the thick, hot feel of him in your hand. Your thumb rubs along the underside, presses against the spot where the shaft meets the head, then strokes over the pink tip. You swirl it through the pre-come gathered there, then bring your thumb to your mouth to lick it clean.

He watches you with a dazed expression, then his head falls back on a groan. "Please! Need more, fuck, please!"

"Since you asked so nicely," you say and dip your head to flick your tongue against him. He twitches, so you do it again. You're still stroking his shaft and playing with his balls, and now when you suck him into your mouth his hips stutter and jerk and you almost choke on him.

"Fuck! Fuck, baby, sorry!" he gasps.

You shake your head to tell him it's okay and keep going. As you suck you press your thumb against his perineum and stroke in firm, steady circles. That takes him to the next level.

"Gonna come, princess, fuck fuck that's so fuckin' good so—goddamn—FUCK!" He lets out a long, ragged moan and his come fills your mouth, hot and thick and salty. You swallow as much as you can in eager gulps, but a bit dribbles out onto your chin.

You keep lathing him with your tongue until he's a twitching, whimpering mess and he tries to stop you. "Too much! Gotta—fuck!"

You ignore him and don't let up. Your tongue is soft and wet against his too-sensitive cockhead and he thinks he might die. Words are beyond him; he's making the most desperate little whimpering sounds you've ever heard, and it's making you crazy.

"F—f—uuu—ck!" he chokes out. "Baaaaaby!!"

Finally you take pity and grin up at him. At the sight of you with your red, swollen lips and his come on your mouth he groans and drags you up to him. He kisses you hungrily, sucking and slurping every drop of himself off your mouth even as his tongue plunges in and out and tangles with yours.

You both moan and he rolls you over so that he's on top of you. The kisses don't stop, but somehow get hotter and deeper.

"That was so fuckin' good, angel," he rasps. "Fuck! Didn't know it could be that good! You're fuckin' incredible!"

"Taste so good, Eddie!" you say. "Coulda sucked your cock all night!"

He chokes out a laugh. "That probably woulda killed me."

You giggle and kiss him again. "Good thing I stopped then."

"Uh huh, because I gotta get my mouth on this cunt." He presses his hand between your thighs, then pulls it away with a dismayed look at his rings. "Hang on," he says.

You grab his hand with a mischievous smirk. Your eyes steady on his, you suck his finger into your mouth and wrap your lips around the ring. You slowly drag it off, then do it again for the other two.

He's staring at you with stars in his eyes. "Holy shit!" he breathes. "Jesus fucking Christ!"

You giggle and hand him the rings. "A little party trick, I guess," you say.

"Excellent trick. Remind me to attend more parties if you're gonna be there."

"You hate parties," you murmur as you tug him back down to you.

"I could learn to like 'em if you're gonna be suckin' my fingers," he says with a grin. He pulls your shirt up and over your head, then kisses his way down to your tits. Like earlier he spends ages on them: licking and sucking your nipples. Biting a little. Tugging them with his teeth. He kneads your tits with both hands and lathes his tongue back and forth over each sensitive bud until you're writhing under him.

"Eddie, please! My pussy!"

He gives a rough, hungry groan and finally moves on to kiss and bite his way down your tummy. He bites the pudge below your bellybutton. Sucks and laps his tongue over your soft skin.

He undoes your shorts and you lift your hips so he can tug them and your panties down together, and you kick the clothes away. He sits up and swallows hard. "You're so fuckin' pretty, baby girl," he says in an awestruck voice.

Your skin seems to glow in the moonlight, your nipples dark and swollen like ripe cherries. Between your thighs he can just make out the crisp whorl of hair on your mound and the way your puffy lips glisten when you squirm under his gaze.

"Is this for me?" he murmurs, his palm coming to rest against your pussy. "This sweet thing's all for me?"

"All for you, Eddie," you gasp. "Please don't tease me! God I need to come!"

"Greedy little thing," he says. "Guess it's your turn to beg, huh?" He drags a fingertip up and down your slit and you can't stop the needy little noises that fall from your lips.

"Please!" you whine. "Need your mouth, baby boy!"

He groans and ducks his head to kiss you before falling between your thighs. He kisses the inside of your knee then spreads you wide. Bites the sensitive skin of your inner thigh and sucks until you hiss.

"Can I leave a mark, princess?"

"Uh huh! Where no one'll see."

"Mmmm. Mine," he murmurs and sucks several big, dark marks. You squirm and writhe and whine, undone before he's even touched your cunt.

"And this is mine too," he says about the cunt in question. He kisses your labia. Drags his tongue up and down, then licks his lips as he savors the taste of you. "Goddamn you taste good, princess!"

"More, please!" you gasp.

He grunts and tugs your legs over his shoulders so he can really bury his face in you. He spreads you and licks every inch of you. Dips his tongue inside and swirls. Flicks up to your clit and then stops just before touching it.

"Hmmm. What's this?" he says. "A strawberry, all fat and pretty and ripe just for me?"

"Uh huh! Tastes good, too!"

He smirks and wraps his lips around it to suck. Your hips come up off the blanket with a little cry, but he holds you steady and still. "Can you be good, baby? I'll tell you when you can move."

You bite your lip. Where did that whiny, begging little boy go? Eventually you manage a nod. "I can be good," you say. "I'll be still."

"Good girl." He presses his mouth against you again and lathes his tongue back and forth across your ridiculously sensitive clit. You moan his name and grip the blanket and your thighs and belly are tense as you resist the urge to rock against his face.

His hands slide up your body to squeeze your tits, pinch your nipples. You can't help it: you writhe under him, whimpering his name, but he doesn't let up or make you stop. He's making the hungriest noises you've ever heard as he slurps and sucks at your clit. You look down at him, his big eyes and flushed cheeks, hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, fingers tight enough to leave marks on your tits.

"Eddie oh god!" you gasp. "Eddie, please, please! Need fingers, baby!"

"Not yet," he mumbles and goes back to sucking. You taste so fucking good and you're so responsive and desperate! His cock is fully hard all over again, aching and throbbing, and he ruts against the blanket in wanton desperation.

"Fuck fuck oh fuck!" you whimper. "That's so good, fuck!!"

"You can move, baby. Fuck my face."

"Eddie!!" you cry. Your hips buck; you grab a handful of his hair to hold him tight against you; your thighs grip his head and he tugs and twists your nipples.

"Please!" you breathe. "Oh god please!" You're so close you can taste it, your tummy tightening and clenching as the orgasm closes in. He knows it too, and he doesn't let up. His tongue pulses and lashes against your clit and that's it, you can't take it anymore. You grind against his face and bite down on your free hand to muffle your scream of pleasure as the wave breaks over you.

He groans and laps up the rush of wetness and before you can catch your breath he's sinking his middle two fingers into you, deep, and you let out a soft cry.

"Eddie!"

"You asked for fingers, princess," he says, his voice rough. "I live to serve."

He leans up to kiss you, letting you suck your orgasm off his swollen lips. "You want another one, greedy girl?"

"Uh huh!" you gasp with a desperate nod. "Please!"

He groans and kisses you again. "Knew you'd be so good, baby. Knew you were my goddamn dream girl."

You push your fingers through his hair, shoving it away from his sweaty face, and bite and nip at his jaw. His neck. You suck his earlobe into your mouth and he whimpers your name.

He works you with his sensitive fingers, curling and flexing them until he finds the spot that makes you whine against his ear. "There, princess?"

"Right there!"

He kisses you hard and starts to fingerfuck you rough and fast. He twists them. Scissors them open and closed. You squeeze around him and the sloppy, filthy sounds your cunt is making drive you both wild. His face is set and intense, his dark eyes steady on yours with a line between his brows and his full mouth thinned in concentration. You're all he can see, his entire universe, and neither of you wants the feeling to end.

"Oh god!" you whine. "Oh god, Eddie, that's—oh fuck please!!"

"Come for me, baby girl," he croons. He kisses you and nips at your lip. "Make a mess for me. Take what you need, princess. Whatever you need."

You grip his hair with one hand and the blanket with the other as you buck up onto his fingers. He moves with you, setting a harsh, driving rhythm that makes you want to scream. When he twists his hand and his thumb finds your clit that's it, you're gone. You yank his hair and moan his name and clench around his fingers so tight he hisses.

He watches you as the orgasm grips your body, the way your chest heaves and your tummy ripples and clenches. Your thighs are shaking and there are tears running down your cheeks. He kisses them away so gently, his lips soft and sweet on your heated cheeks.

Eddie eases his dripping hand from your cunt and grins at you. "You did make a mess, princess. You squirted for me. What a good girl!"

You shudder and nod. "That—happens—sometimes. But never with someone else," you say through deep, panting breaths.

"Oof," he says, a rough exhale like you punched him. "That's so fuckin' hot. I'm honored, baby. Thank you."

You giggle and sit up enough to wrap your hand around his cock. You squeeze. "You did it, silly. I'm the one who should be thanking you."

He hisses and carefully removes your fingers from his dick. "Stop that. Bad girl. I have plans for that."

"Oh do you? Care to share with the whole class?"

"Uh huh, I will. First..." He grabs his pack and hands you the bottle of water from inside it.

"Ooo, smart boy." You take several long, thirsty gulps before handing it back so he can do the same.

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and grins at you, the really big one that crinkles up his whole face, and you can't help but grin back. You murmur his name and pull him close for soft, easy kisses, and he manages to get the lid back on the water bottle before he's on top of you again.

"Hang on, angel. Gotta—" He twists away just long enough to grab a condom from a pocket of his jacket, and then he's back to kiss up and down your neck.

"You brought condoms?"

He gives a sheepish shrug. "I always carry one with me. Just in case."

"Uh huh. Eddie 'The Stud' Munson."

"Ha. Yeah, that's me." He strokes his hands up and down your sides and you arch into it. "Tell me what you want, princess."

"I—fuck." You push at his shoulder so that he turns onto his back. "Like this," you say. "Got a taste for it earlier."

"Not gonna complain," he says. He squeezes your thighs and hands you the condom.

You study him a moment. "You know, I'm on the pill."

His eyes widen just a little. "Really?"

"Mhmm. I've always used a condom before."

"Me too," he says, swallowing hard. "Do you wanna—not?"

You lean down to kiss him. "I'd love to feel you come inside me," you murmur against his mouth.

He's pretty sure he's died and gone to Heaven, but somehow he manages to nod. "Yeah, princess. Whatever you want."

You smirk, toss the condom aside, and straddle him. "Ready, sweet boy?"

"God yeah! Please, baby!"

He holds himself steady for you and with long, filthy moan you sink down onto him. "Oh god!!" you whimper as he stretches you. You're absolutely dripping wet, but even after 2 orgasms you aren't used to taking something so big. You can feel the head snug inside you and it's incredible.

"Eddie!! Fuck!" you whimper. "Oh fuck you're so big!!"

"Baby girl!" he gasps. He cannot believe how good you feel, how hot and slick and just right. "Perfect little cunt, perfect little princess!" He smirks at you and squeezes your thighs again. "But not so perfect, huh? More like the perfect little slut."

Your eyes widen and your cunt clenches around him. "Say it again, baby."

He rocks up into you and you move against him. "Is that what you are, baby? My little slut? Perfect princess on the outside, hungry little whore on the inside?"

"Oh fuck!!" you cry, your head calling back. No one has ever talked to you like this before, and it's doing things to you. "Eddieeee!"

"Ride me, baby," he grunts. "Take that cock. It's all yours, sweetheart. Your cock."

You whimper and don't waste any more time. You brace your hands on his chest and grind down onto him. You wiggle until you get just the right angle, then lifts your hips and drop back down. You both hiss. He grips your hips, his fingers digging in so that the skin turns white around them, and soon you're fucking him in earnest, his big cock hitting you just right, your clit grinding between you in a way that makes you whine.

"Greedy girl," he breathes. "Fuck I love it! Love the way you take my cock, love how much you need it!"

"Gonna come, gonna—can't—oh my god!!" You can't believe you're coming again, fourth time tonight, and it's so fucking good, better each and every time. "Eddie!" you gasp. "God, Eddie!!"

He squeezes your ass, then carefully lifts you off of him. You're confused in your post-orgasmic haze, but you can see him smirking at you. "On your knees, princess. Down on your elbows."

You moan and do as you're told. "Don't hold back, Eddie," you breathe as he kneels behind you. "I can take it hard like this. I'll stop you if it's too much."

"Fuck," he says. He whispers your name and strokes a hand down your back. You feel the tip nudge your entrance, and then he's inside you, all one stroke that buries him to the hilt.

You cry out and push back against him. "Fuck me!" you whine. "Fuck me, baby, please!"

He's very glad he already came once or he'd be in trouble right now. As it is he can hold on enough to give you what you want. He pulls out and slams in again, the force of it rocking through you. You grip fistfuls of the blanket and beg for more, faster, like that, more!!

He fucks you deep and slow, no matter how much you beg for him to go faster. Your ass is so soft and round against him. He spreads it with both hands, then licks his fingertip and presses it against your hole.

"Eddie?" you whimper.

"Shhh, baby. I got you. Stop me if you don't want it." He drags his finger down to grab some of your wetness and pulls it up to your hole; over and over until you're slick all the way up.

"Don't stop!" you manage. He's deep inside you, rocking and grinding, and it's a maddening, delicious tease. "Fill me up, Eddie."

"Mmmm, you wanna be stuffed full, princess?"

"Uh huh! Please!"

He loves how wrecked and desperate and cock-drunk you sound. He sides his finger in and out of his mouth, getting it nice and slick, and slowly, carefully pushes it into your ass.

It hurts a little, a rough burn, but it's also good, so fucking good, and you rock back into him with a hungry whine. "Like that! Fuck, Eddie, like that!"

He draws more of your slick up until he can get his finger in to the second knuckle and he just holds it there as he fucks you. Harder. Faster. He grips your shoulder with his free hand for leverage and pulls you back with each thrust forward. He's grunting and gasping your name and you've never felt so full and used and delicious.

"Don't stop!" you gasp. "Oh fuck don't stop!!"

"Oh god oh fuck goddamn, princess, I can't—" He bites his lip hard, but it's no good. He's gonna come. You feel incredible, sound so good, are so desperate and needy for him still, after four orgasms, and he can't hang on. "Gonna—fuck!!"

He fills you in a hot, breathless rush, and you moan at the sensation. "Eddie!!"

He's groaning, his head thrown back, but when he hears your wrecked voice he realizes you didn't come again. He pulls out and stops the rush of your mingled come with his fingers. He draws some of it up to your ass so he can fuck you there while he fingers your cunt, and he twists his hand to press his thumb to your clit.

You whine, completely overwhelmed. "Eddie!" It's all you can manage: his name, like a mantra. Your brain is utterly gone, fucked out on the forest floor, and now he's got you stuffed full with three fingers in your aching cunt and another deep in your ass.

"One more, baby," he rasps. "I know you can do it. One more just for me."

"Can't!" you whimper. "Can't, Eddie, can't!"

"Yeah you can. Pretty little slut. Sweet little princess. Come for me. Look at you, takin' me like a goddamn pro. You love it. I know you do."

"I do!!" you say, your voice high and thready. "God fuck oh god!" After that you can't form words; it's all just sensation, pleasure and sharp, heady spikes of almost-pain, and soon you're giving him what he wants, another orgasm, and this one rings you out and leaves you boneless and spent and outside of yourself.

He whispers sweet, soothing words and carefully pulls out of you. Wipes one hand on his bandana, then gathers you against his chest. You look up at him, wide-eyed and stunned, and he kisses the tears off your cheeks again before sliding the fingers that had been in your cunt between your lips.

You moan at the mingled taste of the two of you and suck them clean.

"Good girl," he croons. "Fuck, you're such a good girl. That was insane, baby. Fucking incredible!" He replaces his fingers with his mouth and you kiss slow and easy as you ease back onto the blanket.

He wraps his arms around you and you snuggle into his chest. You still can't speak.

"Princess?" he murmurs against your hair. "You okay?"

You nod. Your fingers clench against him. "Yes. Yeah. Holy shit, Grove."

"Yeah," he says.

"That was..."

"Uh huh."

"Have you ever...?"

"Nope. Not like that. Have you?"

You shake your head. "Wow."

He grins and lifts his hand. "Yeah?"

You look up at him, face scrunched in confusion, but then comprehension dawns and you snort out a laugh. You tap your hand against his, too worn out to slap. "Yeah," you say. "You big fuckin' nerd."

"Emphasis on fuckin'," he says with a smirk.

You laugh again and roll away with a groan. "Oh god I hate you. Go away! You're fucking awful!!"

He cackles and drags you back against him. "You like it. You like me. You wanna have sex with me again. Don't lie, strawberry shortcake."

You give a drunken giggle and turn your head to bite his arm. "Yeah, doofus, I like you. And if I manage to ever walk again, I will definitely wanna have sex with you again."

"Whoop whoop! Calls for another one!" He lifts his hand again, and this time when you hit it you curl your fingers with his and lean in to kiss him.

"Dork," you murmur against his lips.

"Slut."

"Your slut."

"Uh huh. Your dork."

"Good," you breathe. "That's exactly what I want."

@briasnow-blog , @tayhar811

[ankahikoibaat]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions

tagged by: @reconstructwriter tagging: EVERYONE no but seriously okay @heatherfield @lowkeyed1 @littleblackraincloudofcourse @firstelevens @peterbenjaminparkour @bizzybee429 @cypresssunn @thesecondbatgirl @mid-nighttiger @noneedforbloodpressure @brachiosaurus-on @monjustmon @thegreencarousel and anyone else (i don't remember if i've ever done this before.)

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?  about to be 230 on Thursday! (what up, plan on hitting 250 before the end of the year.)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?  466,023 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for?  ....too many. whatever hits my fancy when it comes to the whumptober prompts but main focuses are Pride And Prejudice, Willow, DC, Star Wars and The Vampire Diaries.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? screaming at the cold, say the words as such, our hearts are hungry, this is where the heart lies and going up against it all. the fact that all of these are Star Wars fics and four out of the five are from NTCM. pls.

5. Do you respond to comments?  yes! I've set aside one day a week - Wednesdays - to respond to comments (and then a fic chapter or oneshot goes up on Thursdays.)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?  so there are actually a few that end angstily, some not on AO3 (I-F, I miss you.) but I've transferred at least one of those over here too so - Humari Adhuri Kahaani and Woh Miley The for them. and then love is not a victory march (ColdAtom I love you.).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?  oh! most have happy endings? so? i won't list them all. i am particular to the ones where i have Palpatine explode. that's always fun.

8. Do you get hate on fics?  not on fic though i have gotten comments that have made me go "you could have just not said anything". some people nitpicking the way i chose to write characters - in both the Star Wars and Pride And Prejudice fandoms.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?  so i challenged myself to do this a few years ago and i've written a bit but not much? i prefer writing around it for the most part.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?  none here but Haule Haule my beloved nonsense.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?  YES! it was a couple of Primeval one-shots.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?  way back when i was writing on ff.net @bhavvyyy and i started a fic that we never completed lmao.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?  ....... okay look, for the most part i'm a multishipper but Swanfire and PremHeer my beloveds.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?  i will finish the TVD fic some day - but the time travel Star Wars fic i haven't posted anywhere is one i hope to finish but i haven't touched it in literal years.

16. What are your writing strengths?  i think i do well at bringing out emotions. i've made enough people yell at me for it!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? keeping to a plot. outlining. finishing a draft of my novel.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?  absolutely done it will do it again i used to write fic for a Hindi serial and did full on dialogue in Hindi.

19. First fandom you wrote for? i think it was Charmed to be honest. it's been almost 20 years...

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?  this is liking choosing a favorite child (except in this case the fics won't yell in my ear for not choosing them but STILL). so i will turn the table on you and let me know which is your favourite of my fics you've read.

[sugar-omi]

okay, so i've been doing some thinking. i've been scrolling through your blog and i stepped upon these "cheating on cove with Baxter and the other way around" scenarios. (i'm sorry, i wasn't able to read them, my heart couldn't take it ;-;) but!

what if mc was like, in a normal relationship with Baxter. you know, a couple, maybe married later and stuff, while of course still being besties with Cove. later mc and Baxter have a kid together, maybe still a small baby but! plot twist! Baxter gets into an accident or something and dies. (i'm sorry, he's my favourite man but i had to kill him for that scenario:'))

mc is completely devastated and also a little panicked, because what about the baby? and then Cove stepps in, deciding to help his best friend take care of the little one and basically becomes its father. i recently watched a video of a dog "helping" a cat take care of her kittens, and there you have it.

this one may be boring, so feel free to ignore, but i can't stop thinking about it.

ITS OK<333 I figured some ppl didn't read it bc angst n pain</3 trust me I skip over angst all the time

(I even have the tag blocked😬 sorry angst writers but I will read it and not be the same for months, I read a kiribaku angst fic years ago, and was devesated for 4 months afterwards LMAO)

okay i... I cannot expand too much on this bc OUCH

(eta now that I've finished. who am I fooling? I rlly said that like I haven't wrote a whole novel 💀 anyway <3 this clearly made me pop off more than I thought I would bc I read this at first n was devastated!!! I had no words!!!! well clearly I found them LOL)

ALSO BORING??? ANON PLEASE.. BORING WHERE<///3

n im gonna fix the format later but for now here is the bare minimum. I'm going to bed rn so nini everyone enjoy a bit of angst I promise its fluffy as well<333

tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

p/n = parental name, since I wanted to leave flexibility for all the readers here <3

but anyway yeah cove would so step up for you

will follow you to the end of the earth and do whatever you need to help you work through this and to adapt to this sudden and unfortunate change

if/when your relationship starts becoming something romantic, cove would absolutely put the brakes on everything and you'd go so slow...

I imagine he'd probably move in with you or you with him, and he'd stay somewhere else (if you're living in his house he will leave anyway, he's a gentleman like that fr) so that way you can figure out if it's not just bc he's doing all these things n you're mistaking admiration for love

you'd spend the first year going super slow, as if you've never known each other before

which technically you haven't, since you've never dated before. but cove would go so far as to find out your favorite color, song, animal, food.. all over again, even though he has it memorized and knows your likes better than his own.

once cove is sure you're ready for this (after much talk between the two of you and even with your therapist that yes you've made enough progress and are emotionally ready for this) does he finally put a label on it

now if you get married...

I imagine cove won't propose at all

like I think you'd have to talk n almost beg him...

in that case he would do a small but grande gesture to propose. or he'd propose to you before you've even left the bed for the day... no inbetween

but like 8 times outta 10, you're gonna have to propose to him

he'd cry and hug you n say yes of course.

and unless you want to keep this outta your wedding, I think cove would include baxter in your wedding.

first, ofc you'd have the picture to honor his memory

but I think he'd even go so far as to have smth in his vows. but to start, he'd say smth like:

"I know the reason we became closer was unfortunate, but I'm so happy to be able to call you and [Child] my family. and I hope I can be a good father and husband"

and "baxter will always have a place in our hearts. even though he and I didn't get along at first (watery chuckle)... I'm glad he got to love you, and I hope he trusts me to love and cherish you the same way as well.."

also if you don't want to give up your wedding ring from baxter, I think cove would even go so far as to suggest combining it with his.

!!! omg I was gonna say your and baxter's wedding bands would be black, but I have another idea

okay now, for YOUR bands, I imagine they're either black or silver and yk those infinity(?) bands? that has the 2 types of metal or whatever

that's what cove would suggest doing. and if you are worried abt people asking why your bands are different, he'd get the same twisted band but silver with say a black diamond or smth. just smth to make it look like it's intentionally different colors but same design or smth

(im overthinking a bit but it's an idea right?! I'm not crazy??<////3)

or if you don't wanna do that, I imagine you can just slip it on a necklace or leave it as is, whatever you want. he wouldn't mind even if you kept wearing it, cove would never ask you to get rid of baxter's image or memory in any way, not unless it was a real problem and your attachment to him/his things was unhealthy anyway.

now for baxter's band... well if you didn't bury it with him, I imagine you'd give it to your child

another thing I think you could do w your wedding band as well, and give them both your bands to do whatever they want with. or if they don't want it of course you're not forcing them to keep it

even though they didn't get to know baxter, the way you and cove still cherish baxter's memory does help them feel something of a connection.

I also imagine baxter would take lots of photo n video w the kid, even though they're young n just a babe, theres so many videos of baxter looking n acting so loving w them

and even a couple where he's teary-eyed n all "imma do you right by you. I love you so much.."

of course, if the kid doesn't feel that connected to baxter since they were too young to know or rmbr anything, and they don't feel anything much other than sympathy and the occasional sting when they see how much baxter loved them, you don't force it.

you both know that baxter was basically a stranger to them and even though they still respect baxter and he has a place in their heart, they don't feel like they're lacking anything.

"I don't really know what to say.. or how to feel... I see how much [P/N] misses you sometimes, and we have pictures of you, and they talk about you and stuff...

but I don't feel like im missing a dad. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings, I wish I knew you too. sometimes I wish you were still here, so I got to know you as well, even though I'm still happy to have dad cove for my dad.

I just wanna know what you were like. I wanna experience what you were like. I... I wanna miss you like everyone else misses you too...

anyway, just know that dad is great! he takes care of me and [P/N] really well! he makes breakfast in bed, and he does/used to do this thing where he lifts me in the air before bed! he's so cool. I see how he makes [P/N] happy as well, so don't worry. although, [P/N] said you always thought cove was reliable and a good guy so maybe you aren't worrying anyway.

well... that's it I guess. i hope ill get to know you one day, and maybe you can tell me you're glad to see dad took good care of us. goodbye,

baxter."

pa."

cove happily listens to anything they have to say on how they feel abt baxter btw. he accepts any of their feelings, be it that they don't feel anything at all, sympathy for others, or they feel sad abt losing him.

if they do say smth like how even though it's unfortunate and they feel bad for everyone who mourns baxter (for example/especially you), they see cove as their dad and don't feel like they're missing anything and they're happy to have cove for their dad.

ofc he cries n hugs them n tells them he loves em and he's happy n he comforts them if needed of course

I also think cove is very scared abt being a father

especially in this way... even if the kiddo doesn't remember anything, or it's hazy at best, he worries about replacing baxter.

he'd probably worry abt not living up to baxter

baxter was always much more mature, at least it seemed that way most times. cove just worries about if he has the backbone and the ability to parent the child well and be someone they can look up to and/or appreciate for being a good father

cries if they call him dad btw

if they do it before you start dating, I imagine it's one of the catalyst that cause you to talk abt your feelings for each other. or if it's in the early stage..

cove prbly freezes and runs away to the other room n freaks out, definitely cries. if you don't talk to him like right after he calls his dad n cries n shares his worries n fear

either way, when you do talk he's biting his nails n trying not to pace around the room and he's like "if you wanna distance yourselves so that they don't call me dad any more I totally understand, I mean idk it's prbly weird for you-"

n he just rambles. like none of it makes sense n u have to physically shut him up. kiss him, yell, throw a pillow, hit him w the child's stuffed animal, throw a single lego brick at his back and watch him fall to the floor like he just got a nuke thrown at him

if it's later on n theres nothing to worry abt bc youve talked abt this or saw it coming or its just the otherwise most natural step, he cries of course

but he doesn't fall apart from being his in the back w a single fucking Lego as if it hurt 🙄🙄🙄🙄 (I hate this man he's DRAMATIC)

well... actually no he does

hit him, kiss him, hug him, run him over w a hotel wheels truck.... he just cries harder

adopts them like immediately basically

I imagine you do it soon, like maybe before the wedding just so that way you can have a private moment (just to save him some embarrassment from ugly crying in front of your families. in fact he just might faint fr)

n you + the kiddo surprise him w adoption papers (depending on how old the babe is at this point, they have like no idea what's going on but they know that cove is now officially recognized by the whole world (even by the unicorns n wizards n warlocks) as their daddy))

imagine laying in bed w cove n the kid in between you two

and when you wake up, cove is alrdy awake and was watching you two. he was petting the kids wild hair and he had pulled the two of you in and kept you under his arm..

and the sunlight is coming in, the day is just perfect. n the look on cove's face is full of so much love but also a bit somber this time

(cove feels awkward being here like this sometimes. during times like this you have to remind him it's okay, and you pull him back in. of course he does the same for you on those days.)

"I love you two. so much..." he whispers, tears sticking to his lashes

the kid flips over, curling into cove and they stop their sleepy mumbling now that they're tucked into cove's chest, feeling warm, happy, and safe.

you whisper equally as tender. "we were meant to be like this too."

also!! smth I just thought of...

imagine the kid looks mostly/very much like baxter. they act very much like cove's kid

like you would think cove n baxter had a kid together LOL

(if the resemblance is too much, they ask if you're the step parent </3 pls Ik it may not make sm sense but I just think it'd be so fuckin funny)

[softquietsteadylove]

But also!!! I love the headcanons!!! Can I request more for a different AU? (your choice for which AU, I can honestly say I’d read novels about any of them and I want to know EVERYTHING)

You...you want to hear my headcanons?

Okay!!!! (I'm so excited)

So let's talk Ballerina/Boxer AU, because that's another one with a lot of in-between things I've imagined but haven't appeared in any stories, even if I've alluded to them in the tags.

Mutual pining--my absolute favourite. Thena saw Gil a few times going into his studio across the hall. Sersi immediately called her out on it because Thena does not stare at guys. Thena doesn't really notice guys, for the most part. Until the handsome boxer smiles and waves at her. Sersi is on high alert.

Likewise, Gil noticed her because who wouldn't? He adjusted his schedule so he could come in a little earlier and catch a glimpse of her before class. Once he was smiling and waving and walked right into the propped open door. He felt like an idiot and avoided eye-contact for a week, but she was completely charmed by it.

Thena is all grace but at home she's a little forgetful. She's so exhausted that by the time she gets in the door everything is getting dropped on the spot. Then she comes out the next morning looking for her bag, her shoes, her water bottle, everything. Having Gil around has actually helped her keep her stuff organized better, she just doesn't want to admit it.

Gil loves spoiling her. He thinks it's so cute to get to see his graceful and beautiful swan curled up on the couch in a grumpy little ball. She loves watching tv with her head on a pillow on his lap with his fingers running through her hair. She has no idea what's happening in any of the shows they watch together because she always falls asleep, but Gil gives her the gist of what happens. It's super all-over-the-place and she still doesn't know what happens, but it's sweet.

She used to let him help her with her cool down after classes and rehearsals but it always ends up with them getting up to other things so now she has to ban him until after she's done or she won't stretch properly.

He brings up the locker room incident on at least a weekly basis.

Thena has never been in all that serious a relationship before. She's embarrassed and thinks it's terrible, but Gil doesn't care. He's happy and proud to be the first man she calls her 'boyfriend'. Sometimes he jokingly slutshames himself in comparison to her.

Thena only owns one pair of jeans, and one white leather jacket. Everything else is...what you might imagine a professional ballerina to own. Again, she thinks maybe this isn't a good thing, but Gil doesn't care of she dresses super casual or not.

Once they started seeing each other he immediately got his regular suit re-tailored and bought three new ones, so he could have options for her show nights, or if she went to fancy events and stuff. He just wants to feel like he belongs with his Gorgeous Swan.

Ben knew Thena had a thing for Gil from the first moment she mentioned him. All she said was "Gil, the boxing instructor in the studio across from ours" and he went oh yes, your future husband.

Thena was never nervous for performances until Gil started coming to them. It's not terribly nervous, maybe more like excited butterflies. And when she comes on stage he makes a loud 'whoo!' which everyone hates and is inappropriate for the venue, but she loves it.

Thena is much more eager to experiment than Gil. He's up for it, of course, but she's the one who's actively searching for ways or excuses to get up to wild things together. Unless he's going to ask her about it later, in which case it never happened.

Early on, Gil asked to do her warm up with her, for a change in his routine. It nearly broke him.

Thena is completely at the mercy of her students. First it was them calling Gil her boyfriend before they were really that official, which was why she would get so flustered. She didn't know that he loved them doing that. They go 'oooooh!' every time they see him, which embarrasses her every time. Soon they'll start asking if they're going to get married, at which point she will explode and burst into flames on the spot.

Sersi will say 'yes, they will', like a traitor.

Gil has a more distanced but friendly relationship with his boxing students. His oldest and friendliest student is Makkari, who was the one to tell him to just talk to Thena for a month before he ended up actually doing it.

After her fall, Gil starts subtly asking if and when she would ever give up performing for any reason (he's just worried about her).

Gil would never do anything as petty as retaliate against Lara for how she treats Thena. But he did once see her and her husband getting out of their car one day downtown. He called and had the car towed by claiming it had been there way past the allowed parking time.

When they move in, Gil will move in with Thena, because she has more stuff, it's easier, he's always there anyway, and he thinks her apartment is nicer than his.

The rose he gave her the first night he asked her out is dried properly and sits in a vase on a shelf on her wall above her bed (very romantic).

When Gil meets Jack, Jack asks if he and Aunt Thena are in love, to which Gil excitedly says he's head over heels for her. Thena is eavesdropping and has to stick her head in the fridge to recover.

[poppyandzena]

(same anon as the recent recaps re: Noeh)

Someone anon'd Noeh with their theory that the rpe accusation was partially just a way to avoid admitting that Noeh might have broken up with them simply because Poppy (and P&Z) were just toxic, undesirable partners.

That's totally spot on.

Especially when Poppy had been so wildly vocal about their obsession with Noeh. Admitting that Noeh left after meeting them one time wouldn't be good for the ego or for the reputation. It could make other people question things.

Especially since the timing was so soon after Milena released the first docs and GayFesh was already on the way out. An UNDESIRABLE SUCUBUS?

All of the P&Z yelling has always been following the same playbook:

Deny. Divert. Delay. Discredit.

Step 1: Deny

None of that happened. The screenshots are out of context. My child is lying. Those docs are all lies. The few things that I am willing to admit to (because I can't deny it), aren't really that bad. Noeh totally wanted me. Noeh never said that she was ACE. Okay, maybe she did once, but she didn't really mean it because she didn't understand it. I don't HAVE to pressure someone into having sex with me. In fact, I only ever have sex with people who are ENTHUSIASTIC, so clearly Noeh was. Besides, restricting bathroom time is normal. Yelling at my partner all day long is healthy communication. Telling my prospective partners that they are responsible for my mental health and I'm not is a "boundary" that they must follow or it's their fault if anything goes wrong. *I* didn't dox those people, someone else did! It's not even LEGALLY doxing. *I* never harassed Noeh, I just put that image of her being called a r*pist up for a few months and repeated it and tagged her in it. That didn't have any REAL WORLD impact like me my job. People didn't stop being my friend because I was pushy, cruel, and selfish, it was just VIBES. People are only saying things because they got weaponized against me! I'm a licensed therapist. I know more than you. I AM RIGHT.

Step 2: Divert

Yeah, you have proof? Well I do, too! So much! Thousands of tweets worth! More than you could ever read or follow! Look at all those screenshots! Read these tweets! And these 7 articles that may or may not agree with me! By the time you realize that they don't actually prove my point I'll already be talking about the next thing and I'll make fun of you for trying so hard to prove that one small thing - that's just more proof of how dumb you are! Plus, I talked to lawyers! And a therapist! Maybe 5! Also, a bunch of these people only left because of VIBES! They didn't even read the docs! So that's proof that the docs are dumb! Look at all of these people who agree with me! Liana has a podcast so that makes her more believable! I'll also tag all of my allies all the time so that they have to get involved! Don't pay attention to whether or not they are "good" people. They are good because they agree with me and I AM RIGHT.

Step 3: Delay

I have so much proof! Slam dunk proof that my lawyers said would literally win any case against me. I'll get it out if I have to. I need to gather it up. There is a video coming at some point soon. I'll have to see if I can find that screenshot. If I get forced to show it and it doesn't match what I lied about, then I'll just say I was wrong. Oopsy no big deal no me. It's the bigger picture that matters most! Go read NightWyld's doc first before you talk to me. Go read that article I posted two weeks ago. I'll win a debate against anyone about this, but also I won't talk to any people who already spoke to my ENEMIES. I'll cover it later. On a different channel. Until then, though, just know that I am telling the 100% truth because I AM RIGHT.

Step 4: Discredit

You can't believe anything that this "mob" says. Milena is a ST*LKER (a term I notice Poppy picked up from Liana's discrediting of her own accusations). Noeh is a R*PIST! GayFesh is only doing it for the likes (even though all of their other posts get MORE attention). Spawn is a lying c*nt (still can't believe she called her child a c*nt). My old boss and friend of 20 years is just greedy and weak! Loomie wants to kill all animals! White Nervosa is weak and only doing what people tell them! One of them looked at KF one time, so they're all FARMERS! And SA apologists! Look at who they one time liked a tweet from! OMG! These are the people you want to TRUST? They are all just on a coordinated effort to end me. The goal is to make me admit I'm wrong. No, wait, the goal is to make me get cancelled. No wait, the goal is to make me lose my job. No, wait, the goal is to get clout off of me! No wait, the goal is to.. nevermind, it doesn't matter what the goal is because they are wrong and I AM RIGHT.

The sad part is that it is working somewhat. Poppy is still managing to drag new people into this and get them over to their side.

Although I notice they aren't having as much success anymore. They've lost partners because they didn't want to get dragged into the constant posting and tagging. Their own posts are only being liked and retweeted by Saige and their own secondary accounts.

That's why I follow this blog and try to keep engagement going. So that people have a safe, active space for when they are ready to start looking for the truth.

🧡🧡🧡