#or i just have smthn i mean to say and then. don’t. it’s a thing

[un-pearable]

back at it again attempting to deal w this mess

[flippinpancakes64]

Hi hiii !! I luv your work sm !! I was wondering if i could request something like the cullens with a very sweet/gentle look about them, (pastels, like coquette) but they love heavy metal, horror, they collect odd things like bones and such ! I love the way you write and all your work so far !! <3

The Cullens with a Reader who has an opposite aesthetic

Thank you so much for the kind words!

I was having so much trouble trying to come up with a title for this btw

And I definitely understand this one. My car is completely decorated with pink cutesy stuff and then I blast mcr so

Anyway thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He got whiplash the very first time he saw you

He could hear the music playing through your headphones, but he did not think it was coming from you

He thought he must have been going crazy or something

But he loves it

Blah blah insert something very deep and philosophical about you two being very similar

He thinks of himself as two very different things

The one that people see, the beautiful man

And then the monster he is on the inside

So he feels like you two are one in the same

Alice:

She absolutely loves it

She loves anything to do with fashion in the first place

And she thinks it’s so fun that you’re such a polar opposite on the inside

It always amuses her whenever she asks you what you’re listening to and you give her an earbud

Only for it to be like death metal

She enables this btw

Anytime she sees something cutesy she buys it for you

And if she sees any bones she gives them to you too

“Hold on Jasper there’s a deer skull over there, I need to get it for my partner”

“…what”

Jasper:

He would love you the same if you wore a trash bag

He doesn’t particularly care

He’s not really too “hip” with subcultures to know that bright pink and screamo music don’t really go together

So he doesn’t really see anything odd with it

As for collecting weird stuff like bones and various horror paraphernalia, he’s a little confused

Like what do you mean you want his scraps after he’s done hunting?

But he’ll do it anyway

He always makes sure to clean off a piece of whatever he ate that day to bring it back to you

He just loves seeing you happy

Rosalie:

In a way, she’s the same as you

She presents herself as a stereotypically beautiful woman

But on the inside she loves rebuilding and fixing up cars

So that aspect she can understand at least

What she’s a little confused about I is your love for horror movies

I feel like she doesn’t get them

She just thinks they’re all funny

She’s tried to sit down and watch them with you before, but she just can’t get into them

“The color of the blood in this movies is so wrong”

“That’s not what zombies actually look like”

“These people are so stupid! Just leave the house and go to the police!”

And she’s a little grossed out by the bones thing

She might bring you back a bear tooth if you ask nicely, but don’t make it a habit

Emmett:

He’s so down

He loves it

Some guy tried to make fun of you once, asking if you were listening to like cocomelon or something at school and you just unplugged your headphones and cannibal corpse started blasting

He didn’t talk to you again after that

He thinks it’s hilarious

And I feel like he would like his partners to be a little freaky

Like hell yeah babe I’ll bring back a mountain lion femur

He secretly thinks you’re a witch or a sorcerer or smthn

He won’t ask though

That’s between you and your spell book

Esme:

She was so confused at first

She got to know you at first, hanging out with you a couple of times, and then randomly on like the fifth date you asked to aux

She was shocked to say the least

And don’t even get me started on when she first saw your bones and other weird stuff

She definitely rethought the relationship

But she loves you and who cares if you’re a little weird

She’s not gonna bring home anything for you tho sorry

If you want weird shit you’re gonna have to go get it yourself

I have a feeling she doesn’t really like horror movies either

She jumps too easily

So you guys are gonna have to agree to disagree

Carlisle:

He doesn’t really care too much

Not in the way that he doesn’t care, but in the way that you could literally wear anything and he would still love you

He is a little shocked by your music and movie tastes at first, but ultimately he doesn’t care

He’ll sit down and watch your movies with you as well

They’re not his favorite, but he can stomach them

He won’t talk bad about them at all

He’s very respectful

And if you ask him to, he’ll bring back all of the bones you could ask for

He’ll clean them up for you and everything

He’s just a spoiler at heart

Vampire! Bella:

She loves it

She thinks it’s so fun that you look so different from what you actually like

She was pretty shocked at first

Definitely did not expect it from you

But she’s pleasantly surprised

She enjoys horror movies and heavy music too, so you guys get along

She’s always down to let you aux or pick out the movie you guys watch

And she’s always ready to bring you home whatever you want

You want specifically a moose skull?

Well, she was going to go hunting for a bear, but she’ll run up to Canada for you

[tojisun]

OMG ive got smth else for u

Give by sleep token is sooo biker!simon coded ahhh😩😭😭

I AM THE SHADOW, YOU ARE A PASSENGER

IF YOU WANT TO GIVE, THEN GIVE ME ALL THAT YOU CAN GIVE

I WANT TO TASTE YOU BETTER

anon u are too sick for this one now im genuinely spiralling??? how do i move on!! HOW DO I LISTEN TO SLEEP TOKEN WITHOUT ENVISIONING BIKER!SIMON???

this fits sooo well with that one consistent brainworm that wont let me go since it manifested – it’s from when i was answering honey’s ask!!

how a subset of biker!simon is him and you being friends for a while but you’re with a partner who doesn’t appreciate you and love you the way you should be, and simon ofc doesnt wanna just be like “i can treat you better sweet girl” BUT ONE DAY HE WHISKS YOU AWAY WHEN YOUR PARTNER DID SMTHN THAT ENDED UP WITH SIMON HAVING SPLIT KNUCKLES, HIS HELMET STRAPPED ON YOUR HEAD, AND HIM AND YOU ON HIS BIKE AS HE DRIVES YOU AWAY AHHHH

on my knees right now???

the way you’re crying in his arms, pressing your face on his back and it’s a little awkward because of the helmet and simon’s feeling the ridges of the visor dig into his back, but god simon’s trying his best not to explode. trying his best not to just swerve into the nearest empty lot because he wants you as far away from your shit of a boyfriend.

and when he finds an empty park, away from the suburbs and from the bastard who made you cry, simon pulls over and tugs at your helmet to take it off before scooping you in his arms and tucking your face on the juncture between his neck and his shoulder. he holds you close and he holds you tight, letting his silence wrap around you. he kisses the top of your head, breathing you in, feeling his own blood calm down because you’re in his arms now. safe, loved, cherished.

the way when you ask him why’s he being too kind, too considerate, simon bites the words that threaten to spill because you deserve more than a rushed confession. so he just presses a kiss on your forehead and tells you he’ll always be here for you. always be here to help you throughout.

you end it off with your boyfriend that same night, your body shuddering with sobs but god you feel better. feel lighter.

and it’s gradual – the way you fall in love with simon. the way your eyes see him as more than your best friend, more than your platonic soulmate. and you’re scared to fuck things up, but god the way simon looks at you, all adoring and reverent, makes you weak.

the words spill from your lips on a thursday morning when you dropped by simon’s place only to see him tinkering on his bike in the garage.

you’re about to crouch down and settle on the floor the way you had always done before but pause when simon tells you so.

“i got y’somethin’,” he says, blushing just a bit. you watch as he walks towards the cleared-out corner of his garage, just noticing the covered lump there.

he turns to you with a smile and tugs at the sheet, revealing a pretty, pink, velvet loveseat.

“so you don’t have to sit on the floor w’me,” he says after a while, taking your silence for confusion.

“it’s… mine?”

simon laughs, something boyish. “yeah. all y’rs, doll. i’m used to the hard surface but i see you rubbin’ at your ass when i take too long so i got you this to help out.”

what the fuck?

he blinks. the smile slipping from his lips. “i mean, you don’t have to use it.”

fuck. you said that out loud? stupid-

“no, si, oh my god! it’s perfect!” you scramble to tell him, practically running towards where he’s standing. “i’m just- i don’t know- no one has ever-”

to your horror, tears began pooling in the corners of your eyes. simon stares at you in surprise, his face falling as worry lines his beautiful features. you try to assure him that you’re doing okay, but a pathetic wet sob lurches out of your throat instead.

“fuck,” you say, aggressively wiping at your weeping eyes. “i’m so sorry for this, si. i just- i fucking love you so much and i don’t know how to-”

you startle when big hands pull your fists away from your eyes. you see simon staring at you in shock.

“you love me?” he asks, almost breathless like he is afraid of being wrong. afraid that if he spoke any louder, it will lead to you rejecting him.

but how could you ever?

“i do,” you tell him. “i love you so much, si. i think i always have-”

he cuts you off again, but this time with his lips. his big and callused hands are gentle as they cup your cheeks, pulling you closer to him like he still can’t believe that you love him back.

“i love you too, sweetheart,” simon murmurs on your lips when he finally pulls back, your breaths passing through each other in gasps. “i fuckin’ love you.”

so clearly i went fucking bonkers-

SORRY IT GOT TOO LONG MY GOD

[dotster001]

i was gonna make this a comment but smthn told me this was gonna be long.

SORRY FOR THE LONG-NESS OF THIS ASK

BUT DOT- THINK ABOUT YAN DILF JADE.

who knows if his ex wife was murdered or not, oh well! 🤭 best not to dwell on it because it makes the twins sad :(

see? (🧍🏻🧍🏻)

…anyways

but here me out (this is me going coco bananas. full on psycho mode) maybe the first time he saw you was at a RANDOM party that a friend of yours hosted.

blah blah mutual friend of a friend and that long friend family tree stuff

but maybe you slithered away to the dog, or were tasked with helping a baby (more like someone threw the baby at you in order to dance)

or you’re with the other room for the children that the party provides (this is like a really rich friend. like mega mansion. crazy rich asians kinda thing)

but ugh he’s there with his dreadful beautiful wife and his wonderful children. and his wife is already leaving to grab a drink and he thinks their children shouldn’t get a glimpse at whatever tom-foolery parties like these will lead to.

so in they go! (maybe this was years ago when they’re toddlers)

but then he sees you swarmed with babies. the nanny took a break and left you in charge and you’re fighting back babies with one of those roll-pop lawn mowers-

ARGHHH ONE JUST SPAT ON THE END OF YOUR RENTAL DRESS DAMNIT.

jade is utterly beside himself with laughter, amusement, and everything of the sorts and creates flirty small talk. and oh?? what's this? his wonderful bundles of joy seem to have found a liking to you? how precious (they’re clawing and climbing you like a jungle gym) jade takes a note of that!

they don't even like their mother that much , simply tolerating her. but jade can tell that his kids got good taste!

he lowkey interviews reader (without them know oops!!) and while yes, their beauty was what drove his interest, second being their personality (you have to be attracted to someone to give them a chance!)

and the twins were the cherry on top!

and conveniently you say where you work (rookie mistake) while he tells you he’s a humble business man… don’t ask what for tho cause that’s a super family secret 🤭

but he's planning and scheming and charming his way into your life and he’s in it for the long run because eels are patient. it just sucks that jade is even more patient, like a saint if you would

^^accurate depiction of saint jade

^^and this is jade when he gets questioned for his wife’s uh oh 🤷🏻🤷🏻

maybe she drank too much at a party and fell over the side.

maybe there was a targeted hit meant for jade but they got the wrong one.

maybe a classic batman scenario but jade survived and is throughly traumatized (same with his kids, i mean look at them!!🧍🏻🧍🏻 they’re so torn up that it just breaks his heart😿)

but he’s making chance encounters rather… commonly. (he had reader stalked for a good few years as he was planning everything. just to make sure he likes them& they keep it interesting.)

just... some thoughts about dilf jade leech and his hell spawns hehe (when the trio visited your work they managed to leave your section alone... so it looks like you were in the eye of the hurricane)

im gonna read your other stuff about dilf jade now because AHHHH

Angry at my boss, so I decided to see if there was anything in my inbox to cheer me up. Woo hoo!

In reference to this

Cw: light Yan!, implied stalking, Jade's a freak but if you don't already know that then you aren't paying attention

I can only imagine that, after the party, since you interacted with so many kids and parents that night, they all kind of blurred together. And it's not until, after he visits your place of work, and you chat over text for a while, and you have a real date, then invites you back home for an after date drink, do you start to remember. And that's only because the twins are scamps and stayed up past their bedtimes, and they are staring at you with eyes you remember.

Obviously, you are gonna chalk it up to a coincidence. "Oh my god! You know so-and-so, right? I think I met you at a party a few years ago!" He laughs, and plays along, oh my god,.yeah what a really good coincidence.

Meanwhile, the twins share a look, because Dad has talked about you every day since Mom died, so they know he's lying. Hell, when you aren't here, they already call you mama/papa. But, they are their father's kids, so they are never going to say anything.

One date turns to two turns to three, turns to a year of dating. It's time to meet the family. You know Jade has a twin, but they've taken different paths in life.

So when Dilf Floyd Trudges up the driveway with his six adopted kids, four of whom are sprinting around the house and lawn and destroying Jade's home, two of whom are under Floyd's arms like suitcases, you're in for a culture shock.

When you first meet him, he seems incredibly grumpy. He's got salt and pepper stubble, the baggiest outfit, though you get the feeling it's designer, no matter how slouchy it is, his hair is slicked back, making the grey streaks look neat against his otherwise messy look.

He tosses the kids and yells at them to go play with their cousins, then he rudely shoves past you. Jade stops him with a hand on his shoulder that appears gentle, but if you had felt the full force of it, you'd have landed on your ass. He hissed at Floyd, through a smile, to greet his new fiance. There's a tense moment where they stare at each other, then Floyd storms over to you, and presses a ticklish kiss to your cheek, before muttering, "Welcome to the family," then storming to his room and locking himself in for the night.

The next day it's like he's a different person. He makes breakfast for you and excitedly asks you about yourself, wanting to know everything about his future sibling. Eventually he pours you a glass of what you know is Jade's most expensive wine, which he has been saving for a special occasion, and you finally get the courage to ask about the night before, and he laughs and says he was tired from the trip. Wrangling six kids on an airplane is exhausting, you know?

You decide to ask him about little Jade, and Floyd's stories of childhood charm you so much that you don't notice Jade's brooding presence.

Not that Floyd minds. Yeah, he got off to a rough start with you, but he gets why Jade likes you. And Jade only has two parentless kids, he has six. So his kids need you more than Jade's do, right?

Will the dad's eventually drag the kids into this fight? Absolutely. Those kids have Mafia parents, they have plenty of acting training. They will be pulling those heartstrings of yours 😊

[moonstruckme]

hi love!!! I love ur work sm!! could you perhaps write a Sirius black x fem!reader, but the reader is very masculine? and sirius is more feminine? and maybe rude comments are made towards the reader for this or smthn? sorry if this is a specific request, but this happened to me recently with my boyfriend so i hope it’ll make me feel better. Ty!! ❤️❤️

Hi gorgeous! I'm so sorry this happened to you, people can be such assholes. I know "don't let it get to you" is much easier said than done, but I hope you're able to keep doing you without thinking about them too much. Thanks for requesting <3

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 602 words

“Baby,” Sirius sighs, wiping under your eyes while you sniffle and try to act like your tears aren’t falling. “You can’t let them get to you like this, gorgeous.” 

“It’s not me I’m worried about.” Your voice comes out bitter; Sirius tells himself it’s not aimed at him. 

Sirius gnaws at his lip, taking a moment to look at you while you look at your lap, a stubborn dam of tears shining in your eyes. He wants desperately to make a joke, to make light of what’s happened in the way that always helps him get through these things, but he suspects that’s not what you need right now. You’d come home red-faced and ranting, but it hadn’t taken more than one word from Sirius for your angry facade to crumple. The protective ire that had propelled you home was faded, leaving behind a frustrated sort of hurt. 

“I hope you don’t mean me,” Sirius says, shuffling closer to you on the couch so that his thigh is half atop yours. “I can take care of myself, sweetness. Trust me, you don’t need to be angry on my behalf.” 

“I’m just—they called you—” Your face screws up in indignant fury, even as a new wave of tears breaks hot and fast down your cheeks. “I just don’t get why anybody thinks they know more than us about our relationship.” 

Sirius blows out a breath. Any other time, he’d be the one fuming, but when it’s you that gets like this, it’s like calm rushes over him to balance you out. He doesn’t know how you do it most of the time; he much prefers being the one to rage. “But we know they have no idea what they’re talking about,” he reminds you. “It’s none of their fucking business, okay?” 

You squeeze your eyes closed, probably trying to keep more tears at bay. When you open them, the fight seems to have gone out of you. Somehow, this is worse. Sirius’ chest aches for you. 

“I know,” you say, softer now. Your hand comes up to hold his face, fingers weaving into his hair hardly an inch below the barrette keeping it out of his face, and Sirius can guess what those pricks said to you. About him. He’s not unused to comments on how he presents himself, but he can understand why you’ve gotten so upset; if someone said that sort of thing about you, he’d open his mouth to yell and flames would come bursting out. 

“Hey,” he says. “You like the way you look, right? And you like the way I look?”

He bats his eyelashes at you when you glance up, and you smile just like he hoped you would. It’s a small, tired thing, but he’ll take it. 

“Yeah,” you answer him. 

“Good.” Sirius mirrors you, placing his hand on the side of your face. “Then if those fuckers want to say that you wear the pants, let ‘em.” He leans down, kissing the soft, ticklish spot underneath your jaw. “Pants are uncomfortable as hell. You can have them, honey.” 

You’re laughing by the time he’s finished talking, and Sirius nips at you as you squirm away from him. 

“But if you want to try and be more traditional, I could get on top for a change,” he says, holding you in place while you cackle and writhe. “What do you think, gorgeous? Want to satisfy those conservative pricks?”

“No,” you say, panting as you shove him off you. “No. I don’t want them affecting anything we do.” 

Sirius grins. “That’s my girl. Let’s show ‘em, love.”

[danikamariewrites]

hi i was going through your eris x bratty reader fics, im literally obsessed with them, and i was wondering if i could request eris saying no to the reader after she asks him to buy her smthn and the reader just starts bawling her eyes out be he's never said no to her🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ this would literally be so funny, reader would literally be so confused, like what’s no??? what do you MEAN no?????

Did You Just Say No?

Eris x reader

A/n: I love brat tamer Eris 😚

Warnings: bratty reader

Taking you shopping was supposed to be a reward. For you because you managed not to behead any of his advisors this week. And for him to see that stunning smile of yours. Eris loves making you happy, but today he felt like conducting a little experiment.

Eris didn’t punish you earlier this week for acting bratty. He just reprimanded you a little and promised you anything you wanted if you were good until Friday.

You were in the last shop before you and Eris were to go back to the Forest House. A small yet very expensive boutique in the city. You had already picked out an exquisite dress, a pair of shoes to match, and a few other things.

Eris had no idea what you could possibly have left to buy but he waited patiently. You skipped up to your mate holding a beautiful autumn brown tunic with small leaves embroidered on it.

The garment was draped over your arms as you came to a stop in front of Eris, giving him your sweetest smile. “Can I please get this one Eris?”

Eris seemed like he was contemplating his answer. Which was odd. He always said yes. Eris looked you dead in the eyes, face straight and said the worst word ever to you, “No.”

You were so taken aback you physically stepped away from him. Your face contorted in sadness and anger. Your mind was running a million miles a minute, trying to comprehend what Eris had just done.

“What?” Your voice breaks and your eyes narrow at him. “What is no? What do you mean?” Internally you’re panicking. Is this how he’s ending your relationship? Does he not want this dynamic anymore? You weren’t sure you could change, Eris has treated you like a princess since day one.

“No, you cannot have it.” On the inside Eris was praying to the Cauldron you didn’t make a scene right now. Maybe a public place was not the best idea for this experiment.

“Well, why not? You said I can have whatever I want?” Your voice was slowly rising with each word. “Is that not an option anymore?” “No, you just cant have this particular thing. You’ve had enough today.”

Ass soon as the words left his mouth Eris realized it was the absolute wrong thing to say. Your eyes went wide and you couldn’t help the sob that came out of your mouth. Tears started falling fast.

“Do you not want me any more? Just tell me you don’t love me anymore Eris! That’s better than no!” You tossed the tunic onto the chaise lounge in the middle of the boutique, crossing your arms and turning from Eris.

The other patrons kept shopping but occasionally snuck looks at the two of you. Eris was shocked by your words. Of course he loved you, how could he not? You are perfect to him.

Eris lightly grabbed your shoulder, spinning you to face him. “My love,” he says softly, “I will always want you. How could you even think that?” You sniffled, “Because you said no. You never say no.”

“Love, I didn’t know you’d react like this. I’m sorry. Of course you ca get whatever you want.” You stopped crying and leaned away from Eris, a bright smile on your lips. “Yay! Thank you!”

You pecked his cheek and collected the the tunic from lounge, speeding to the cashier to put it with the rest of your shopping.

Eris shook his head. He was happy you bounced back quickly but her was sure you’d give him an attitude about this later.

[lilliththefan]

Okay, I’m gonna do smthn I have never done before on this platform and that is to toss my hat into my thoughts concerning Crowley. Specifically, about her Fall.

Just how she said “Call it a nebula”, call this little crackhead theory: The Booksnatcher Theory (aka: Stealing Books and what it could mean for Season 3)

[Disclaimer: this is just smthn I cooked up randomly so don’t look at it too closely lol. Also I’m not sure if another person has thought of this as well, I just wanted to look at it on a certain angle teehee]

THAT OUT OF THE WAY!!! Let’s start off with what we know about Crowley’s Fall objectively (and by objectively, I mean what Neil has to say about it)

So it’s canon (confirmed via Neil Gaiman himself) that Crowley isn’t the best source for his experience concerning The Fall. According to Crowley, they Fell for two reasons: asking questions and hanging out with the wrong people.

Another interesting thing Neil noted was that Crowley isn’t as good as he likes to maintain while also not being THAT bad as Heaven portrays him to be. So what does that mean?

It could mean that Crowley did something he hasn’t admitted to doing yet.

Which brings me to the title of this random theory I thought of while drinking some milk tea; what if he snatched a book? This book in particular.

If you can barely read the title, you’ll notice that it has the title of “Nebula” along with some (probably) volume numbers that would help identify the book. It was also noted by Crowley that she “wasn’t the original concept designer but that he worked very closely with Upstairs on it.” As some people have pointed out, this was a habit Crowley also did in Hell: taking credit for an idea that wasn’t technically theirs.

Crossing your fingers like this typically means one is asking for luck, OR more poignantly in this scenario, outright lying to another person but not to God as a way to negate the lie you just said. Other people have noted this gesture as well!

Essentially, the theory goes like this: What if Crowley borrowed the Nebula book without prior knowledge or permission and used it to start the star factory without proper clearance?

That basically meant that Crowley stole a Heavenly document for their own gain and created something without an overseer’s approval. Even if it was to satiate their love and curiosity of stars, it still paints him in a bad light while simultaneously not being “that bad” of an angel.

For this theory, Crowley’s angel identity doesn’t matter tbh, you’re free to explore that in your own headcanons. But what matters for this theory, it mainly hinges on the idea that he stole something and did something out of line. Which isn’t all too out of character for Crowley, as he mentioned pranking the cherubs with Beelzebub and threats of the Book of Life.

SPEAKING OF!!!

This brings me to the next part: Why does it matter if Crowley stole a book?

Because that means books can be stolen. And there is ONE particular Book that is currently a Chekov’s gun waiting to be fired.

NOW LET’S 👏 TALK 👏 THE 👏 METATRON 👏

Metatron overall is a VERY shady character, no surprise here. We know barely anything about the guy, which basically meant us (who are into angelology) had to go off of three main things: (1) he’s the Voice of God, (2) he was once human favored by God, and (3) he’s the Scribe to the Book of Life.

So here’s the thing about point 1 and point 2…

…okay so Metatron doesn’t ACTUALLY talk to God and he was never human in the first place, which means out of everything so far, point 3 is the only thing that still remains as true.

What does that mean, then? It means, in the context of this theory, the Metatron would probably be keeping that Book under lock and key in the best way possible: by controlling any single angel (former or current) that has shown instances of showing interest towards knowledge they shouldn’t have.

Which means that it makes sense to make Crowley Fall, if she has been known to steal books. Aziraphale could easily be put under the Metatron’s control due to conditioning. Hell (heh), even Michael backed down the moment Metatron revealed himself.

But there’s one surprising addition to the growing count of angels (and demon) who have an interest in books and that is Muriel.

Muriel was seen by Metatron as a purveyor of books, expressing excitement and curiosity toward humanity and their culture. That kind of curiosity could be dangerous to Metaton, especially if you consider that Muriel basically now knows a demon who has clearance to certain files.

So, in Metatron’s mind, the probability of Muriel stealing the Book of Life might be probable. Not saying it will happen, but the chance of it happening does exist.

It would be an interesting twist ngl, while also making total sense for Muriel. They’re a scrivener, it’s kinda in their nature to validate documents and books fall under that category. We even see them validate the contract between God and Satan during the events of the Book of Job, so it kinda feels like a normal progression for them; the underdog lowest ranking angel overseeing the most important artifact Heaven has.

Hence why the Metatron probably stationed them down on Earth. Not only as someone to look after the bookshop but also to keep them away from looking into Heaven’s libraries.

All in all, this lil theory hinges on the fact that books are important in the Good Omens-verse, from Agnes Nutter’s book of prophecies to the Book of Life. Which also kinda has some symbolism attached to it: Books contain knowledge, and knowledge is power.

And if Metatron has a monopoly on knowledge, less people would be less inclined to ask questions.

But see, that’s the thing.

The questions will always remain, regardless if you’re an angel or a demon. So now, I end this theory/tirade/meta of mine with my own inquiry: If you have a question no one wishes to reply to, how far will you go to get your answer?

P.S: So you know how the Metatron is the de-facto writer of the Book of Life in this scenario?

…yeah…

[jewish-vents]

i have a mutual (a black goy) who’s made multiple posts talking about how she finds it really annoying when white ppl expect to be coddled and have their accidental racism explained to them like a child by random black ppl which yk is a completely fair thing to be annoyed about but she does the exact same thing with antisemitism.

multiple times i’ve had to explain to her that she was reblogging mildly repackaged centuries old extremely antisemitic propaganda all while being extremely careful with my words to make sure i don’t sound like a bad jew zionist. i always have to make sure i confirm that i knowwww she didn’t mean to say anything antisemitic it is just that that post is basically a rewrite of a real life nazi speech and is kiiinnnnda ahistorical (yeah the zionists didn’t make up that that massive historical event of antisemitism happened it was a real thing) sorry i don’t mean to be rude i just thought you’d want to know :))

and on top of all that one time a few hours before i sent her the ask i made a post about so many mutuals reblogging antisemitic stuff and she replied saying something like “i didn’t know it was antisemitic u gotta tell me if i say that stuff” (it wasn’t that in ur face abt it i can’t remember her exact wording this was a couple of months ago but it was pretty similar to that)

like girl do u not see how ur doing exactly what pisses u tf off? like ily we’ve been mutuals for over a year and ur fun asf when we’re in a fandom together but god do u not see what ur doing? again i love her as a mutual normally but god her casual antisemitism drives me insane and i’m scared to call her out on anything i can’t provide sited sources about it’s cartoonishly evil antisemitic origins for fear of being blocked and being vagued abt as some white zionist harassing her or smthn. (idk i don’t think she’d go that far for most stuff but atp idk)

.

[neptunescore]

Most of the drivers are more concerned about padding their own pockets. Lando is probably the worst on the grid though. He has a lot of influence and acts like he keeps it real and doesn’t care bc he tells it like it is and isn’t afraid. He’s a total faker. He never speaks up and only repeats what his PR team tell him to say. Nothing seems genuine or real about him. Not only that but Lando travels the world and has fans from all over and doesn’t even care to look at a map and be made aware of what part of the world he’s in. He charges obscene amounts for his shitty merchandise when he knows his fans aren’t making that kind of money. He also accepts money when he does stream on twitch. He has no shame. At the Miami GP he goes and says people should respect a guy who has a known reputation for being an incredibly racist and misogynistic. His fan girls don’t care though bc they all think they have a shot with him and think he’s cute.

Lando no backbone Norris, yeah put that on a shirt.

I used to be a fan of his but over the years I’ve been finding him more and more annoying.

Anon, in the most gentle way, while I do agree with some things here, I feel like there are so many other things ur getting angry at him for, for no reason.

Like yes, I am INCREDIBLEY angry/ irritated abt the stuff he said abt trump, and his unawareness/ ignorance of the boycott, as well as (and this for all the drivers, EXCEPT LEWIS HAMILTON THE GOAT), his inability to post/ talk abt the genocide happening in Palestine.

However, U saying there's nothing 'genuine' abt him, and talking abt how he doesn't know 'which part of the world he's in', is just way too much. Like we've never met him, we dont know him personally, so we can't really say anything when it comes to him being 'genuine' or not. Also, come one getting mad at him for not knowing where countries are is a bit to much, like ofc everyone is free to dislike a driver just bc, but don't hate on him for smthng so lame😭.

U also talk abt how 'he made his merch too expensive for fans', anon, merch - in general - has ALWAYS been expensive, like go look at the rbr, mercedes, ferrari, ANY OF THE TEAMS' merch. Go look at TAYLOR SWIFTS merch, at OSCAR'S merch, at DANIEL'S Enchante stuff. Obv, we'd all like if the stuff was less pricey, but u can't just get mad at one person and not get mad at the others for the same thing.

'He accepts money when he streams on twitch,' I feel like u don't get how his fans VOLUNTARILY give that money, like no lando does not demand them for it, or tell them he'll hate them if they don't give him anything, he's NEVER said he wants them to donate😭. And me personally, if someone was giving me money willingly and happily, I wouldn't refuse it ( its hard out here😔✋🏽) no matter if I was rich or not.

Anyway to end this, I just wanna say that I don't like lando either😭, it's not that he sucks, or that I think he's 'overrrated' I just don't personally vibe with him. (He gives me like 17 yr old f boy energy vibes). But that doesn't mean I'll create reasons to hate him, or like be one of those weirdos who go and talk shit in his comments. I just don't follow him, and when he DOES do smthng wrong, I call him out for it, like I would do for every other driver.

And whoever likes him, can like him. Its their choice, as long as they can admit when he does smthn wrong.

(THIS IS ALL ABT OFF-TRACK, on-track I say you must bcm the biggest haters against drivers u dont like bc if not then WHERES THE PASSIONN😤😤. stop the hate as soon as the race ends tho😭🙏🏽)

[badchoicesworld]

Helloo! Would you be willing to write a Hobie x Spider!reader, gender neutral? Maybe there's a big fight or something, and Hobie just adoringly watches his s/o take down villains before joining in? Up to you, just spewing the thought! Feel free to ignore this, have a nice rest of your day!

hobie admires your fighting spirit

RAAHH thank you, hope your day is going well too :] hope this met your standards !

established relationship ❤️‍🔥

warnings: none

hobie brown x gn!reader

requests: open ! pleasepleasepleaseplea

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

so this can be interpreted however you like, maybe miguel sent you two out on a mission or you two are just out doing spidey-things when you come across some baddies that need a beat down

doesn’t matter how you got there, you and hobie are now choreographing a smack down with a bunch of scallywags

he’ll take the ones on that side, you’ll take the ones over there- easy peasy lemon squeezy, yeah ?

anyway, bing bang boom commences and despite being a little distance apart now, you’re still calling out to each other and probably discussing dinner over each wallop

i imagine hobie has the throatiest laughs for no damn reason so you’re occasionally hearing that from a distance whenever someone cracks a zinger or smthn

Hobie finishes his little dance w the baddies first and now his guitar needs retuning, but it means he gets front row seats to your own fight (tried so hard to think of a better word for fight that i haven’t already used)

mans is so enthralled by you when he swings over

can either be found sitting on the top of a car a short distance away or leaning on some kind of surface while he lets you go ape on these guys

is hiding the most snarky grin but loving eyes behind that mask

watching you swing from place to place, forcing your fist down on someone’s skull before using your enhanced agility to drive your elbow into the next guy- he’d never say it out loud but he’s absolutely entranced by all this

seeing you being all independent and protecting yourself, fighting so well and in such a fluent way, spider-people don’t feel real sometimes with what they can achieve

he’s so smitten by you. watching to be funny turns into this silent adoration while he watches you in your element

labels are restricting but there’s also no other way for him to put into words how he feels about you, so he’s just fucking glad he can call you his partner

if you catch him just watching by the sidelines and ask/demand for his help, it’ll snap him out of his trance

he’ll insist you’ve got it

lifts those lanky ass hands up all defensively and is like “Nah, love, you’ve got it!” you can hear his grin.

his body kinda drapes over whatever his been leaning on the whole time while watching you, he’s just so chill

keeps watching for just a liittle bit longer before swinging in to save the day, he’d never actually deprive his partner of his support

is absolutely cheeky abt it though, saying things like “ay, what can i say? i’m just that good.” “you really can’t live without me,” “no worries love, i’ve got you.”

2vswhatever-the-fuck seems about fair, so you finish the job a lot quicker together, but you did a number on the guys you did take out

if you’re feeling a little insecure by needing his help, hobie’s on it

“nah. you did good, love.” while slinging an arm over your shoulder and pulling you into one of those side hugs

probably nudging where his lips would be under his mask against the top of your head before swinging off, proposing a race while he has a head start

★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧

ug so sorry this is kinda short

[kdj-225]

Hellooooooo :DDD

It's me :DDD

Would you write something about alpha!YJH x beta!KDJ if you write ABO? 🥺

If not, maybe smthn with Joongdok and Biyoo? 🥰

Thank you for opening asks!! ❤️❤️❤️

here you go!! it's short, but I hope you like it even a lil bit! 🥰💜💜

==== ※DO NOT REPOST / HOST MY WORK ON OTHER APPS OR SITES

“I don’t know why they still bother confessing when everyone knows you’re taken.”

Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t say anything, though his expression was enough to show his annoyance at Han Sooyoung’s nosiness.

Eighteen, and yet, adulthood couldn’t come sooner. There were still the undeniable shackles of high school education before he could properly work; in addition, he had to deal with the unnecessary socialization that came with it.

He just didn’t understand why people kept confessing to him when he was firm, time and again, on the fact that he isn’t interested. It had nothing to do with looks, fame, personality, or gender preferences—he just didn’t want anyone in that way. Not when he already has a pack of his own, and not when he already has his hands full with a particularly stubborn beta who couldn’t seem to keep away from trouble.

“Right, there’s Lee Seolhwa,” chimed a familiar voice, its owner popping out from the corner he’d been hiding in.

Speak of the devil.

Kim Dokja, shameless with his own eavesdropping, smiled that vapid smile of his as he looked to the distance where his recent admirer had bade their embarrassed farewells. Then he looked to Joonghyuk, mouth opening as if to say something, until he got interrupted by a harsh smack on the arm from one frustrated Han Sooyoung.

“Hey,” Dokja complained. He made a show of looking pitiful as he rubbed his arm, and half-way succeeded into looking pathetic. “There’s no need to be so violent, is there?”

“Only if you stop being an unnecessary matchmaker, Kim Dokja,” Sooyoung retorted, jabbing a finger against Dokja’s chest. “You’re lucky you’re a beta so you don’t have to deal with Joonghyuk’s stench as much, but it’s all. Over. You. Do you think I enjoy watching you make a fool of yourself—”

“Enough,” Joonghyuk cut in, grabbing Sooyoung’s wrist and lowering it before she could poke at Dokja again. “And there’s no such thing.”

“Tell that to my Alpha nose, Yoo Joonghyuk,” Sooyoung sneered.

“Your dysfunctional nose, you mean.”

“Why you—!”

“You’d have his scent too if not for the fact that your Alpha scent is strong enough to drown his out,” Dokja pointed out. He was unabashed in mentioning it, even when both Sooyoung and Joonghyuk gave him equally murderous glares in response. “You hang out with us just as much. I only have his scent from proximity.”

“...that’s how it is when you sleep in the same bed, huh?”

“Please stop making things up that people might misunderstand.”

[yelenabelovasbxtch]

Locker Room Sex

Shuri x f!reader Basketball player

A/n: hi everyone! Are you also shocked I didn’t write one story and dip for another 6 months?😂 couldn’t leave you guys hanging after the last smut-less shuri story. Also I’ve heard the cries over the professor series I promise I’m thinking abt it and gonna try writing smthn soon! I’m just in my Shuri era y’know what I mean😩😫anyways, enjoy! Submit requests if u feel like it.

Warnings: Smut! 18+ oral fingering and Shuri being a fine ass mf

Word count: 2102

TAGLIST: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @thorya22 @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld

“y/n what are you doing?” Your Coach asks as he sees you pulling folding chairs out onto the court.

“Just getting some shots up, coach.”

“Y/n, I think you can afford to take the rest of the night off after that game. 25 points in 28 minutes is not exactly an easy thing to accomplish.”

You let a small chuckle come out under your breath, “Gotta make it 28 in 28 next time coach, only one way to get there.”

He smiled at you, waving his clipboard in the air as he walked towards the door. “You know the drill, don’t forget to lock up when you’re done.”

“Sure thing.”

The gym cleared out pretty quickly after the game and before you knew it, it was just you, the ball and some blaring music. You can’t work out in silence obviously. You start practising your dribble combos around the chairs with clean finishes down in the paint. Spinning off the “defender” for the quick pull up fade away middy getting banked in. Putting in the late hours wasn’t new for you, you pretty much lived for the sport and when you weren’t eating or sleeping you were playing basketball. You didn’t get too deep into your practice when you saw one of the gym doors open and a familiar face walked through the door.

Fuck– you thought to yourself.

She is the most effortlessly attractive person you have ever met…well…seen? I guess “met” is a stretch. You technically have never really talked to her, there was that one time when you briefly interacted in a class but you were fairly certain she did not know who you were. You, of course, knew who she was. You had been crushing on Shuri for quite some time now and no of course you never have worked up the courage to talk to her. She was wearing this purple-y blue tracksuit that just looked insanely good on her with some of the cleanest sneakers you’ve ever seen.

“Sick game 8.”

You glanced up from the ball you were holding and made eye contact with her as she had the most devious but sexy looking smirk on her face. Her chin held high as she complimented you basically causing you to freak out on the inside like a little school girl and she didn’t even know it.

“Thanks” You reply, trying your hardest not to sound like you were absolutely losing it.

“25 points is pretty crazy.”

You feel your cheeks flush, “yeah, aha”

She knows your stats from the game?

“You gotta work on that footwork in the paint though, the bigs will just eat that shit up if you don’t know how to work around them.”

“Oh is that so?” You reply. Where the fuck did that come from? Oh is that so? WHAT? Tell me why I thought that was the right response to that?

I guess we’re committing to this random burst of confidence I got now.

Shuri’s eyebrows raise at your comment with a small smile creeping across her face.

“Hit me.” she says as her hands raise up motioning for you to pass her the ball.

“Look, you gotta attack the paint here just like you were but instead of going for the layup and getting blocked every time you gotta stop, plant two feet fake jab right, turn left, sweep and shoot.” She says as she demonstrates footwork that is honestly cleaner than what more than half of your team can do.

You look at her with slight shock and try not to be absolutely obvious about it but clearly you weren’t hiding it well enough based on her reaction.

“Didn’t expect that?” She says with a laugh, “your turn,” she tosses you the ball.

On the first try you manage to pull off the same move with ease.

“Okay, okay, I see you Y/L/N.”

What– so she does know who you are?

Honestly hearing her say your name even if it's just your last name was making you feel all sorts of things.

“How about we see how you do with some actual pressure now hm?” She says as she positions herself just in front of the net ready to play defence on you.

You drive to the net about to pull the same move that she of course easily predicted, resulting in you being blocked and kind of embarrassed.

“You’re gonna have to try harder than that 8. Pulling my own move on me? C’mon.”

You feel your cheeks getting rosey again and your heart is racing and it is definitely not because you were working up a sweat playing basketball. She had you feeling unbelievably flustered as she made direct eye contact with you as her hands were up reading to guard you and whatever move you chose to pull off. You start your dribble, staring her down as she smiles back at you, making you unbelievably nervous. You start to run towards her, hit her with the hesitation that she did not fall for, faked right, euro stepped around her and laid the bucket up and in.

A smile crosses your face as her brow furrows.

“Okay, okay, so she got moves I guess. We goin’ again?” She said ready for you to check the ball.

After about 45 minutes you were starting to feel a little wiped.

“I gotta hand it to you 8, I didn’t think you had it in you but damn you play a mean game.”

You just sort of chuckle as you take down the last gulp of water in your bottle.

“Man I gotta get out of these clothes, could you point me in the direction of the change room? I got an extra outfit in my bag.”

“Yeah, I can show you I gotta bring the balls back anyways.”

You and Shuri walked to the changeroom, and it’s definitely safe to say that the two of you were border line friends now after that entire experience.

When you get into the change room, you head to the sink to wash your hands from the filth that are the school's basketballs and as you look up in the mirror you catch a glimpse of Shuri taking her shirt off in the reflection of the mirror. You quickly look back down at your hands and act like you did just see her toned abs and arms. All that time spent together made you forget for just a moment how nervous she makes you.

“Ah shit—“ you hear muttered from behind you.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah I uh I just thought I had an extra shirt but I only have pants.” She says

You turn around to face her as your eyes quickly dart to the floor as she’s standing there in pants and a bra. “I uh— I have an extra clean hoodie if you want to borrow it?”

“Man really? That would be great thanks.”

“Cool, I’ll just um grab that.” You say as you start walking to the area of the change room with the player lockers.

You start rummaging through everything in your locker and finally find the hoodie, when you turn around Shuri is standing right behind you, still with no top on and your eyes didn’t know where to go but you could feel her staring at you.

“Here” You say holding the hoodie up practically right in front of your face.

You hear a small chuckle from behind the hoodie as her hand comes over the top pulling it down so she can look at you. Your eyes trail up her body to lock on her face that's looking down at you. She takes a step forward backing you up against the locker, your heart is racing unbelievably fast.

“Do I make you nervous y/n?” She says slowly under her breath.

Your mouth opened to respond but nothing came out. The smile on her face grew when she realised how tense you looked.

“Relax love, there’s no need to look so stressed out.” Her hand slowly comes up to your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Her fingers trail along your jawline until they reach your chin giving it a soft tug, tilting your face up towards hers. “May I?” Shuri whispers.

Your head was nodding before you even processed what she said and before you knew it her soft lips connected with yours as her hand made its way to behind your head, fingers running through your hair.

Nothing has ever felt so natural before, her lips fit perfectly in yours. You could tell from the kiss alone she had much more confidence and experience than you did. Your hands didn’t even know where to go while hers went everywhere they wanted to.

You felt her hands slowly go under the hem of your shirt and the skin on skin contact made you let out a small whimper. You’ve never experienced anything like this before and her touch alone was enough to make you pool in your underwear.

She bends over slightly grabbing you on each of your thighs and pulling you up against her, wrapping your arms around her neck and legs around her torso as she continues to kiss you again. Her hands gripped your ass as the two of you passionately made out, fuck you wanted her so bad. You want her to kiss and touch every inch of your body and make you beg for so much more.

With your legs still wrapped around her, Shuri walks you over to one of the benches, and gently lays you down on your back. Her chain is practically resting on your throat as she hovers over you, only inches apart. Her lips start kissing your neck, leaving a trail, making sure to go as slowly as possible just to see you squirm beneath her. She kept kissing a soft spot just above your collarbone causing shivers to shoot down your back. You could barely sit still and you just knew she was going to make you beg for it.

“S-Shuri please.” You whisper.

Her demanding eyes looked up at you, undressing you in her head with a smirk across her face.

“I do like hearing you beg for it but you’re lucky I’m feeling generous today.” She says as her fingers dig into the band of your shorts, pulling them off you. She starts leaving small kisses on the inside of your thighs, taking her time, making sure that you were brought as close to the edge as possible without giving you the touch you craved the most. You could feel her breath on you causing your head to tilt back and your eyes to flutter.

She laid soft kisses on your pussy causing your breath to hitch. Your lack of experience meant you had no idea what anything was going to feel like.

Her tongue gently pushed between your folds causing your entire body to tense and relax which you could hear her smile over as she went down on you. Shuri painted circles over your clit starting slowly and gradually increasing in speed and pressure. She could tell how excited you were getting which caused her to pull back ever so slightly. You didn’t realise how amazing the touch of her tongue felt until it was gone.

Her tongue was replaced with one of her long fingers which steadily entered you soon after.

“F-fuck.” you groan.

“That feel good princess?”

You slowly nod your head letting out tiny moans as she puts in another finger and gives them a slight curl to hit your G-spot. Her tongue starts running along your clit, God, it felt like she was spelling out the entire alphabet in swift movements.

Your core began to tighten as her pace increased. Your one hand is clenched onto the back of the bench while your other has her head in hand. You gripped her tightly pushing her face deeper into your pussy as your heart continued to race.

“S-Shuri– I am so close.” You manage to get out just before you let out a loud moan and your back arches up off the seat.

Her pace slows as you come down from the most sensational high you’ve ever felt.

As you catch your breath, she comes up to you and gives you a kiss where you taste yourself on her lips.

She pulls away only inches from your face with a smile, “you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that for.”

“Me too” You say softly.

– The End –

[flippinpancakes64]

can you write cullens x reader who is insecure about their acne? 😽

The Cullens with a reader who is insecure about their acne

Again with you people being inside my walls. I’m convinced someone has a camera in here.

Thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy!

Edward:

He thinks you’re perfect either way

He loves you, acne or not

He’s rich so if you want to do like a chemical peel or something else that’s expensive but will help with the acne he will do it no questions asked

And yes you can use his cold hands if your face starts to burn up from it

He hears what people think, but he doesn’t tell you

And if anyone tries to say something to you they are getting decked

Alice:

This is her department

She’s all about fashion and makeup, i feel like she knows about skincare too

She does everything she can to help you

Creams, treatments, washes

But she’s also very clear that she loves you no matter what

She’s helping you because you want the help

She also doesn’t lead you on with false hope

“I just saw that this cream doesn’t actually help you much in the future, so let’s try something else”

Jasper:

Genuinely doesn’t notice

He just sees you, feels your beautiful emotions, and loves you

But he definitely understands the most out of everyone

He has all of his scars that he hates but he can’t control

On really bad days, he uses his ability to help you feel better

But again he’s super supportive in anything that you try to help get rid of your acne

He reads up a bit on what’s supposed to help the most and he tries to do that

But more than anything he’s very understanding

Rosalie:

She is perfect, so you’re a little hesitant to bring up your insecurities around her

But she’s so nice

She keeps up with beauty trends and products throughout the years, so she has some stuff for you to try

She will do anything with you

You feel weird about using this new product? She’ll get in the bathroom with you and put it on too

And don’t even get me started on people at school

I’ve already established she will kill someone for being mean to you

That still applies here

Emmett:

He feels a lil crazy

He genuinely didn’t even notice that you had acne

Bro thought it was freckles or moles or smthn

So when you start complaining about it saying you hate it he’s like “no you’re perfect i love your birthmarks”

Cue the deadpan from you

He just steps back from that side of things

He lets you handle that cause he doesn’t know what he’s talking about lol

But he will beat a bitch up for you so you have that going at least

Esme:

She knows the struggle

I feel like she probably had pretty bad acne for a while when she was a teenager

She tells you all of the things that used to help her

She’s there for you every step of the way

Constantly reassuring you that she still finds you attractive no matter what

And yes she will fund any treatment you want to try

She just loves you and wants you to be happy

Carlisle:

Just looked it up, he is a surgeon (meow 😼 yummy)

So dermatology is not his strong suit

But working in a small town he has to know a little about everything

So he can help you on the surface level (telling you to wash your face, what foods to avoid, etc)

But he’s much quicker to schedule you an appointment with an actual dermatologist

But again, this only happens if you expressly state that you hate your acne and want it fixed

You don’t have to change anything for him

Vampire! Bella:

Some kids used to call her pizza face in middle school

So she knows the feeling

Nothing ever worked for her tho so she doesn’t really know how to help

It just sort of evened out as she got older

But she’s supportive with whatever you want to do

Or don’t want to do

If you never try anything to get rid of your acne then she’s okay

She loves you for you and you don’t need to change anything for her

[crispplant]

TWST BUT ITS MY STONER HCS FOR THEM I GUESS

guys I don’t know how to make the text a diff color how do I do that. NVM I FIFURED IT OUT

Anyways um my hcs for twst gang on whether or not they smoke b. C I’m high rn & I want to

HEARTSLABYUL

Riddle: u look me in the eye & tell me he hasn’t tried taking a hit at least once. He broke the rules like once when he was younger he’s definitely done it again. Trey & Chenya offered him a hit once btw I was there. I think it was just a one time thing for him tho, he did it once & decided he didn’t like it so he hasn’t done it since

Ace: not a stoner and has not smoked before, but deffo wants to. If u asked him to join a sesh he’d be like hell yeah & then be internally shitting himself bc it’s his first time smoking. Gets the munchies when he’s high (bro would luv Taco Bell btw)

Deuce: somehow I think he hasn’t yet. wants to try it but also a lil nervous abt it idk. would only smoke with ppl hes totally comfy with (ace, yuu, u get it)

Cater: trying to fight off the demons telling me he’d be a stoner but like. I just feel like he Could be ynk. Actually. I think he’s the type to only have hit pens before. I think he has a pen. Bro probably suddenly panics and pats down all his pockets going “where’s my pen”. I mean this in the most endearing way I luv him okay

Trey: also fighting off the demons telling me he’d be a stoner. I thinkkkk……I think he would not be a stoner but he’d be so chill w someone being like do u wanna join a sesh. I think he’s used to chenya smoking so he’d be so good at babysitting anyone who needs to be watched if they get a lil too high ynk. the big brother instinct kicks in & he’s like “okay you need to Sit down” (and sat I will be🫡)

SAVANACLAW

Leona: oh man. Oh man. Leona’s a stoner & I know bc I smoke w him btw. it just feels right ynk idk I just think he needs Smthn to keep him sane at that school and I just think part of it is weed. He shares w ruggie sometimes bc they’re actually bestest friends in the whole wide world obvi.

Ruggie: I think he picks up for whenever leona buys another ounce. He’s like walking thru the halls of nrc w an ounce on him & if anyone asks him abt it he’s just like haha idk what u mean. really only smokes w leona but will always say yes to a sesh if he’s invited. Deffo gets munchies & cooks up some banger meals for him & whoever he’s with. Coughs like a mf tho. He’ll be like choking so bad & leona has to be like “r u good”.

Jack: no. He’d just side eye someone if he smells weed on them. The way dogs do ynk. That’s all

OCTAVINELLE

Azul: no 1 azul hater tries to make hc for azul that doesn’t include being mean to him challenge. Level impossible. um . He um . I think no, he definitely watches the tweels get high & goes what the hell.freaks. but I don’t think he’s ever rlly felt compelled to smoke anyways

Jade: o ya. Ya. Hes so a stoner. I do think he prefers shrooms & grows his own but he enjoys getting high from anything natural 🫶

Floyd: u look me in the eye & tell me this freak isn’t a stoner. He’s probably stoned more days than not esp during class idfk. He gets rlly quiet if he gets high enough tho. He just has many thoughts.

SCARABIA

Kalim: another one I’m split on idk. I rlly think it could go either way. Ummmmm ok he smokes occasionally & gets a lil paranoid whenever he’s high enough but knows how to just 🤫 sit quietly with his thoughts and talk himself thru it

Jamil: stoner. Same reasons as leona I think, he just needs smthn to decompress sometimes. will NOT smoke w kalim bc he feels the need to babysit him always. Probably smokes every night after kalims asleep just so he doesn’t have to worry abt anything 🙏

POMEFIORE

Vil: not a stoner but will occasionally smoke. weed has health benefits but the actual smoke will fuck up his vocal chords if he does it enough so he only does it sometimes 🤫

Rook: no. As much as I want to say yes I feel like he’s enough of a freak to enjoy being sober all the time ynk. He’s probably like *french accent* “augh non✨smouqing marajuanna will dull my senses✨I preghfer to stay aleghrt and awaghre at aull times” idk

Epel: oh this kid has been smoking since middle school for sure. He’s made an apple into a pipe once. Doesn’t smoke as much as like leona or jamil but he’s definitely up there. Vil isn’t super fond of the smell of weed so he has to sneak around outside to do anything (unless vil joins).

IGNIHYDE

Idia: this man has never touched weed in his life. He starts getting paranoid before his first hit. I don’t have much to say abt him I don’t know. Oh I do feel like he’s done acid tho?? Idk. He gets nervous abt weed but he just kinda popped a tab once & went on a journey & was fine abt it.

Ortho: um nuh uh. Can he um….would he even be able to….like..inhale…………..sry um anyways. He is not allowed to do drugs anyways

DIASOMNIA

Malleus: He’s gotten high before but he got so paranoid & then hungry & then he passed out for 12 hours so he’s not fond of it. I think if yuu asked him to join a sesh he’d agree tho. He’d be like “haha. Childof man. Of course I will smoke with you. And nothing bad will happen.”

Lilia: HELLLL YEAH HES A STONER. Oh he’s sooo a stoner he knows his shit too he has like five different strains & he’s like do u want this one or this one or this one. Is so so good at taking care of ppl too. Has been thru it all so🫶would be very good to smoke w if it’s ur first time. Also very big advocate for no peer pressuring. Always makes sure everyone’s comfy & not freaking out.

Silver: not a stoner definitely but he’s probably smoked like once or twice. Probably takes the best naps after. But took a bong rip once & did not have a good time. Too much too fast. The room was spinning & he had to lay down.

Sebek: so not a stoner but has smoked one(1) time when mal did. he got so quiet & in his head & ppl kept being like “😟are u okay” bc he wasn’t yelling. Lilia was good abt checking in on him. He was fine he just had so so many thoughts in his brain.

Ok that’s all ty 4 reading🤞🤞

Anyways remember if ur gonna be under the influence of anything 2 stay safe, stay smart, & if soemone tried to peer pressure u into anything then bite them rlly hard🫶

[alovesongshewrote]

yay, hehe! can i request the poly lost boys with a reader who does gymnastics/ yoga <33

Twist and Bend | The Lost Boys x Reader HCs

absolutely you can!

no warnings apply, this is short and sweet and filled to the brim with the Reader Causing Problems On Purpose

Gonna preface these with a warning: i know nothing about gymnastics, and next to nothing about yoga

I never did gymnastics as a kid

And i’m a tiny bit afraid of gymnastics specifically as an adult

I'm afraid of breaking all my bones

THAT SAID

I SAW THE WORD “GYMNASTICS” INSTANTLY PICTURED VIOLENCE

BECAUSE IMO, THE BEST WAY TO USE YOUR GYMNASTICS SKILLS AROUND THE BOYS 

IS TO BEAT THEM AT THEIR OWN GAME

They’re scary boys, spooky lads

But if you can bend like a gymnast?

If you can fold yourself into a pretzel?

You can be fucking terrifying 

Imagine it

The boys come into the cave, expecting you to be there

But they don’t see you right away

They look around, searching for where you could’ve gone

And they can hear your heartbeat, and maybe your breathing, so they know you haven’t left

Paul is in the middle of proposing that you’ve somehow turned invisible when suddenly

From high up

They hear a stone fall

And then

From a hole in the wall

One much too small, they thought, for a person to slide into

You emerge 

And you’re like, cackling

So it’s Spooky!

Frightening, even!

Paul jumps into Dwayne's arms!

And you, dear reader, are delighted 

Another scenario is this:

You’re standing in one part of the cave, facing away from the boys

Looking at a book, examining a vinyl record, whatever you’re doing it doesn’t matter much

What they’re doing doesn’t matter either (though let’s be honest, they’re probably doing smthn dumb)

Whatever it is, they call you over to them

And instead of turning and walking over like someone who can’t bend and twist like a pretzel

You bend

Twist

Put your hands to the floor

And then you fucking crab crawl over to them like a funky little nightmare creature (affectionate)

There are screams <3

Even david jumps a little bit

Safe to say

They were not expecting that

Which is just so fucking delightful 

Those boys are in control of most situations they find themselves in

It’s fun to throw them off balance

Anyway

Rmr what i said earlier, about how i’m afraid to do gymnastics because i’m scared i’ll break all my bones?

Yeah, the boys have that fear for you

Humans are fragile, and despite the fact that you are Trained, they still have Concerns

Paul is the worst with this- you bend in a way that most people can’t and he just

Yells

“BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR BONES, FOR FUCKS SAKE”

Dwayne is also Concerned, basically to the extent that paul is

He just doesn’t voice his anxieties 

He’ll tell you to be careful every now and then, but otherwise, he seems unbothered

But that’s just because you can’t see him watching you like a hawk while you do your stretchy thing

David is also mildly afraid that one day you’ll bend the wrong way and hurt yourself, but he’s also Very Aware that you know what you’re doing

So like dwayne, he kinda just watches

And marko?

Marko is a fucking menace

Marko insists you teach him how do gymnastics every time he sees you do something cool

Marko has No Fear

And i mean, if you end up teaching the boys anything

Marko is the one who will break bones

Not you

You put a pause on teaching them stuff after that

No one complains 

(except for marko)

[ja3yun]

Maybe I’m naive or maybe it’s the brain rot… but am I being completely delusional in thinking that tumblr is almost 99.999% a fan site that artists (especially kpop idols) do not engage with and probably don’t even have much regard for? Like this is a space for the chronically online. Most people don’t use any of their own personal information/faces/identifiers bc this is not a real place; it’s a black hole. That’s not to say that your work here is insignificant (it’s helped me a lot to escape from everyday anxiety and stress so thank you 🙏) but it's not like you or any other adult writer are writing these stories and then spamming them on Weverse or any other platform where the members are active.

I guess my point is that we the adults that engage in 18+ enhablr are minding our business and keeping the fantasies in fantasy land and then going to work in the real world. Like we do not know Enha for real. Some people apparently don't have jobs or lives, so they send hate to people online and act like they are personally offended on behalf of adult men they don't know and never will. It's giving desperate fan that thinks going to the airport to get an interaction is more sane than staying at home, kicking your feet, and giggling at imagining meeting and knowing the boys in real life (95% of the time as non-idols anyways which is another degree of separation).

I'm sorry for ranting. I'm just a huge believer that fanfic is a very safe and respectful way of engaging in fandom because we leave the real people out of it. We're not screaming inappropriate things and sexually harassing the boys to their faces, which happens way too often. We're engaging in community fan-to-fan which to me strengthens the fandom. There are things we talk about as Engenes that will never make it back to boys and thats okay. What makes fandom fun is not always the direct connection to the artist, it's the community we build because of them.

I hope you and the other amazing writers on this site know how important you are ❤️ thanks for taking your time to write and engage 💐

anon this is so!! you get it exactly. i think a lot of us post here because why tf would enha know this place exists? and its a safe place really bc if you want smut, you come here or go to ao3.

i think hate to writers is so petty bc it is the one form of media you can easily avoid? like to see smut you need to seek it out yknow? i never write in the general tags or post inappropriately, so for people to find my blog must mean they are looking for smthn 💀

hate comes w any platform, esp to creators of any kind so i kinda knew what i was signing up for. some of it kinda makes me go??? like im not making the boys out to be horrible or bullies like i try and write them as nice as i can so some of the hate saying i 'tarnish' their name is so false lmao

thank you anon, i'm sure every writer here appreciates the kind words and also, just the fact that you understand is enough for us

ilysm <33