#peanut butter snowballs

[amandalbohannan]

Christmas treats for friends and family

[taikk0]

PHEW art trade for @calista-222 sorry that this is like 3 days late, I had to take a break because my hand started hurting rlly badly 👀💧 either way I was finally able to finish it!! somehow this took me like 7 hours 💀

sketch revisions under the cut because I think most of my time was spent on em and I'm not letting those go to waste LOL

bonus:

i used a color palette generator and i find it funny that it just generated invader zim

[peanutscomics]

[andromeda3116]

for some unfathomable reason, i've been thinking a lot lately about this insane comedic original story i started when i was first at college and didn't have internet, way back in 2008, and i went back and tracked it down (on Ye Olde LiveJournal, which hauntingly still exists in the aether) and like. i still kinda have a fondness for it. it's ridiculous and extremely 2008, both in terms of being dated and in terms of who i was a person then, but i still kinda wish i'd ever finished it. the idea has milled about in my head of actually handling the concept now, as an adult, but tbh, i don't think it would really translate into my style now. it just exists as an artifact of my sense of humor circa age seventeen.

i can still remember being the person who wrote it, sitting in that dorm at that desk on that dinosaur laptop and you know, sometimes i still miss her.

[orphicdreamers-wp]

When You Know You Know — Quinn Hughes

Summary; In which you, Quinn and your loved ones recount the early days of your relationship

Content Warning: wedding ceremony inaccuracies, fluff

You laughed into your palms as Jack took the microphone and grinned sheepishly, “Hey guys! I’m Jack, the cooler of Quinn’s brothers.” You turned to your husband, “How bad are we expecting this to turn out?” Quinn laughed, “Almost as bad as Trevor standing up after the minister said ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ and saying ‘don’t nobody say nothing’.” Jack grinned as you turned to face you and his brother, “I have one text from a Quinn Hughes, dated December 9th 2018. Jack no joke, I just met my wife. She’s perfect.”

Jack turned to face your wedding guests, “It should be noted that the first two weeks of December that year there was a horrendous snow storm in Vancouver so I initially didn’t believe him. Until he FaceTimed me the next day trekking through the snow holding a bouquet of lavenders that was bigger than his head, which is ideally a huge thing of flowers. He told me he was going to meet a girl for dinner. He called me again the next day, this time he was demanding to speak to our mom to learn how to make pasta as he was having someone over for dinner.”

Jack’s story earned laughs from the guests. Jack smiled at you and Quinn as he continued, “This continued through the remainder of December and the majority of January. It was nearing a month he’d been needing dating advice. So he called me once again trekking through the snow, but that time he wasn’t alone.” Jack turned to face you with a smile, “I was complaining about whatever stupid crap a 17 year old boy would. And then I saw Quinn get pelted in the face with a snowball. Then I heard Y/N squeal as she and Quinn ran through the snow covered streets of Vancouver throwing snowballs at each other and giggling.”

You laughed softly as you melted into your husbands side into a warm embrace, “I quickly learned that Y/N was perfect for my brother which was unexpected because Y/N is classy, kind and beautiful and Quinn is not. But after meeting her I have never had to question or wonder if my brother made the right choice. Because from the moment I met her, Y/N has shown nothing but grace, love and support for not just Quinn but my entire family. I could not be more proud to say, welcome to the family sis.” Your eyes welled with tears as you stood to go hug Jack, “I always wanted a little brother to annoy.” Jack smiled as he hugged you, “I always wanted a sister.”

You returned to your seat next to your husband as your best friend, Gracie stood up with the microphone, “I hold here a hot pink notebook sheet of paper dated April 13th 2006, it reads ‘GG I have a secret. I have to tell someone so your my friend now that I told you. Mrs Tkachuck’s son is cute. He is always skating at recess. I think he has really nice hair, maybe my husband will too. Anyways I got peanut butter sandwiches for lunch what did you get?’ This was the first note I ever received.”

You covered your face with your hands as you heard your husband whisper, “Please tell me it wasn’t Brady.” You laughed as Gracie continued, “The boy in the note did have really nice hair. Matthew Tkachuck everyone. That note would be seen as two 7 year old girls agreeing that a 9 year old was cute and bonding over lunch. But for me that singular note written in real glitter pen by the 7 year old who had no friends because she didn’t let anyone say anything mean to her. You, Y/N changed my life at just 7 years old.”

Quinn squeezed your hand reassuringly as you blinked back soft tears as Gracie continued, “You wouldn’t know this, because I never told you. But on Friendsgiving in 2018, when I pulled the longer side of the wishbone. I wished for you to find someone who would alter your life the way you altered mine. And then 13 days later I got a voicemail from you at 3 am. You had claimed you found the love of your life and his name was win. I unanimously decided that his name probably wasn’t actually win but more likely Quinn.”

You felt your gaze soften as Quinn pressed a kiss to your temple as your best friend finished her speech, “To my beautiful, perfect, amazing and wonderful best friend. To the rest of your life with a guy who treks through the snow a day after meeting you. PS your husband did end up having good hair.” You and Quinn erupted into soft giggles as you looked at each other. You smiled up at Quinn, “I so would have written love notes to you in teal glitter pens.” Quinn laughed, “I would trek through a million snowstorms to bring you flowers.”

You melted into a kiss as your mother in law took the stage, “My biggest baby. In your entire life I have only seen you love three things. Your family, hockey and the beautiful woman that is sitting next to you. And none of those things are in order. From the moment I met Y/N it was clear to me that you loved her more than anything else in the world. It’s in the eyes. You, Quinn Hughes have very telling eyes. I could tell by your eyes when you pushed Jack face first down a slide when you were 5 and he was 3. I knew from the look in your eyes the first time you snuck out. And I knew when I saw your eyes light up when Y/N offered to take Jack and Luke to hockey practice so me and your father could have a break.”

Ellen continued as she smiled at you, “I knew that you were long gone, there was no coming back. You were head over heels for her and honestly I think I was a little bit as well. For as long as I remember you and your brothers never liked each others friends or associates. Don’t get me started on girlfriends. But Jack and Luke came home and would not shut up about how much they liked Y/N. I knew then that she was perfect for you and she fit like a missing puzzle piece of our family. So it didn’t come as a shock to me when you called me less than a year later asking me to help you pick out engagement rings.”

Your jaw dropped, you hadn’t known that Quinn had thought about marrying you so quickly. Ellen smiled at you and her eldest son, “To my beautiful son and his even more beautiful wife. Watching you two navigate life together has been one of the most gracious gifts I’ve ever received.” You smiled warmly at your mother in law as you rested your head on your husbands shoulder, “So I’m picking up on the fact that apparently everyone around us including us knew from the beginning of our relationship that we’d end up here. Is it just me?” Quinn kissed your cheek, “Nope, definitely not just you.”

[itshiiiiiiiiightide]

For anyone wanting it, here’s all of the “who was Mei hanging out with” lines, all the ones I could find anyways, let me know if anyone finds any others. text transcripts under the cut

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Vivian and I were baking croissants.

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Fareeha was using snowball to record her trick shots.

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Winston had a peanut butter emergency.

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Cole and I were recycling his target practice bottles.

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Lucio and I were trying out an aerobics routine.

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Brigitte was showing me her latest poem.

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Hanzo and I were making ice sculptures.

Mei: That’s me, sorry I’m late! Hana and I were experimenting with liquid cooling on her mech.

[pumpkinsy0]

The Shepards opened the first "americanized" Hatian restaurant. Curly does all "the bitch work" like, mop the floors, kick out JDs (he'll do deals with them still but in the back alley) dish washing, stocking (NOT inventory--that's Tim's job. Curly sucks at basic math) and most of all take out the fucking trash. He HATES that so much! and he always works the night shift cause his ass won't be awake before 11 am on a good day.

The Curtis run their mother's Bakery across the street. Ponyboy is a decorator just like their mama was and also works the register. Darry gets annoyed when Curly comes over to flirt and Tim gets in a fit or rage knowing Curly does it on the clock.

They have dinner together, cause that's when Ponyboy gets off work and Curly is on his "lunch" break. Ponyboy brings reject baked goods or extras. Curly likes the Kolashes and Ponyboy always brings him a snickerdoodle or something chocolate and peanut butter. Curly about died when Ponyboy "invented the chocolate peanut butter cupcake with caramel drizzle. Curly will bring fried pork and rice or Fried Turkey with Plantains.

They leave Tulsa and open their own restaurant with baked goods. Have a couple of rugrats, a dog and a few cats and despite all the hardships of owning a business, getting married & raising a family Curly is still the one who has to take out the fucking trash.

HAITIAN SHEPARDS AND PAPERCUT IN MY INBOX YAYAYAYAYAYAY YAHOOOOOO YIPPIEEEE

SOTE POU KÈ KONTAN YAHOOOOOO

tim and angela are taking care of making the foods/desserts since lord knows curly cant be trusted near making food so he HAS to pull his weight and do the other domestic work

sometimes he’d just catch pony staring at him from his shop window while he does and curly would wink and smirk and that absolutely snowballed

they had their first date at each others place they just brought food and just ate it together u cant take this from me

when they opened their restaurant they just made it their own, made their own dishes from dishes theyve known their whole lives and its successful and their known as ‘THAT’ couple in their neighborhood, sometimes curly comes home smelling like ass bc he was dealing w the garbage but as long as curlys still alive n kicking everything will run just fine

and back home the old restaurants r still doin peachy

[sundove88]

Elder Custard’s Not So Jolly Crisp-Mas Carol

On Crispmas Eve, Elder Custard Cookie gets visited by three unusual guests who tell him that he has every right to be on the naughty list this year.

It was Crispmas Eve in the Cookie Kingdom, and everyone was just getting ready for bed. They were looking forward to all the amazing presents they’d receive in the morning, and they were on their best behavior so that Eggnog Cookie could visit each of their houses. Save for one- that being the ever grumpy and judgmental Elder Custard Cookie. He only saw the holidays as one big excuse to take a vacation.

“Come on, Mr. Grumpmas! Get in the spirit!” Oyster Cookie said as she nudged him to get on the ice and skate alongside her friends. “Ok, fine!” He said, getting on, still grumbling. After a long session of ice skating, the house elder made it back home in time, later slouching on a massive armchair which was really his former wife, Light Cream Cookie’s. He was just about to turn on the television when suddenly… KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!!!

Elder Custard jolted to his feet, and ran towards the knocking coming from his window. Opening it, he instantly got jumpscared by none other than his own son, who was wearing some off brand chain necklaces around his whole body. “What the heck are you doing here?! People like you should be crumbled and buried at sea!” He talked back. “Oh, no. It’s not about the whole you should be crumbled and buried at sea. You tell everyone that they’re going to be on the naughty list this year so you can be shown as the only nice person!” Clotted Cream replied, standing on his tippy toes on the totem pole he, his mom, and the other Elders save for Millie-Feuille and Canele were forming.

Elder Custard just laughed. “Oh, really? Because all of you are on the naughty list this year!”, he replied. “Oh, it’s not us! It’s you! And tonight, three of our undead friends will visit you to prove it!” Light Cream replied as she slowly lowered the totem pole. Her divorced husband grumbled as he made his way towards his bedroom, which was meant for guests. “Crispmas, Bah Humbug…” he said as he got ready for bed and hopped inside. “I hope I do get some nice presents this year.” He muttered to himself.

“I don’t think that’ll be the case.”, replied a gentle voice. It was Pure Vanilla Cookie, standing right next to Elder Custard’s bed. “P-P-Pure Vanilla Cookie?! Please spare me! Don’t burn me to ashes, please!!!” He begged. “Oh, I won’t. I’m just here to prove a little something to you!” The Vanillian leader replied as he took the grumpy elder by the hand and showed him a sight- it was him as a kid! But while all the little kids in the Creme Republic were celebrating Chrispmas and having fun with their friends and families, young Elder Custard was throwing snowballs at absolutely everyone! Not just that- he was pinching little kids, kicking balls into the ocean, and shoving food in others’ faces. “Tormenting others as a form of enjoyment isn’t a way to get on the nice list.” Pure Vanilla replied. “After all, you’re better than this.” He said before leaving the room.

“Well, that was weird.” He said as he got out of bed and walked downstairs to get some water. Suddenly, he heard the feeding of what appeared to be… a giant dragon! He opened the door to the kitchen and saw Hollyberry Cookie and Pitaya Dragon Cookie feeding peanut butter and jelly bites to Snapdragon! “Hollyberry?! That’s my food, you know!”, he replied as he marched towards the chubby queen and her dragon friend. “Oh, it isn’t! Food is meant to be shared! You, on the other hand, haven’t been sharing. Do you want to see proof of it?” Hollyberry asked.

“I guess.” Elder Custard replied. Hollyberry then pulled up his Instacrumb account and showed how prideful and full of himself he really was, often being rude and snobbish to others at worst. “See? This isn’t what food is meant for. This is what food was meant for!” Hollyberry replied as she escorted Elder Custard out of his vacation house and into the streets of the Cookie Kingdom. “See? This is what food was meant to do! Feed the hungry and needy, and look at how happy everyone is! While you just stuff yourself full of grub and care about no one else. Look at Gingerbrave! He’s helping out with the food drive!”, she said, pointing at the Brave Gang helping donate canned food to local shelters. “But Hollyberry, what about—!” Elder Custard began, but Hollyberry was nowhere to be seen.

Soon enough, he was in a massive snowy landscape, and took notice of a figure making his way through the snow. “Oh… oh no…! I’m gonna crumble tonight, aren’t I?!” Elder Custard talked to himself as the figure got closer… and closer… and closer. “Are you the one they call Elder Custard Cookie?” Replied Dark Cacao Cookie as he took off his hood. “Uhhhh… yes! Are you here to take me away to Ginger Claus’s workshop?” He asked, sweat rolling down his face. “No! Shut your blasphemous mouth… this instant! You are on the naughty list, and you know it!” Dark Cacao replied, drawing his massive sword. “B-But your majesty, I have a good reason to be on the nice list! I raised a family with love and care!” Elder Custard replied.

“That excuse is weak! Time to face your fate!!”, roared the powerful king as he raised his blade. As he did so, a massive thunderstorm filled the sky and the winds became a blizzard. He leapt high into the air, ready to slice the horrible excuse of an elder and a father in two, when… “NO!!!” Elder Custard yelled as he jolted awake, breathing heavily in his bed. It was Crispmas morning, and he looked around for any signs of the snowfield and the very angry Dark Cacao. “Whew… it was all just… a nightmare…” he said as he got up and hurried over to his stocking.

To his absolute horror, he saw that it was filled with nothing but coal- chocolate disguised as coal, that is. “No… this can’t be! This can’t be another nightmare!!” He said to himself. “We’ll say!” Replied a few voices behind him- it was his son and his wife, both of whom divorced him not long after the Creme Republic was saved from Dark Enchantress Cookie. “NOOOOOO!” Elder Custard yelled skyward. He truly deserved to be on the naughty list after all.

The End

[merrysithmas]

au where una gets gum stuck in her hair and frantically calls pike to her cabin at 3am for an "emergency" & he's shook like emergency??? what's going on??? and there she is in the doorway, whispering, with a towel over her head like a forlorn saint and demands he come inside. he's just staring like ok what is going on??? and she removes it, revealing The Situation.

and it's worse than either of them ever imagined, she explains with every attempt to remove it the mess worsened. snowball effect. it's giving medusa. so he has to spend his entire downshift to help her get it out for 6 hrs using the old earth wive's tale of peanut butter (which he luckily has, ground fresh somehow). apron on and everything.

and she's having a menty b that she's going to have to shave half her head and pike suggests maybe bangs and she loses it

CHRIS

I AM NOT GETTING BANGS

[jessreadsandreads]

will you please share how the love lasagna works out for you? Enquiring minds want to know 👀

I would absolutely love to share the outcome of my magical lasagna -- thank you very much for asking! So, I actually cooked -- and immediately began eating, but it took several days to finish everything, between just me and my partner -- both the lasagna, and a complementary spell recipe for a carrot cake cheesecake of love and prosperity, all the way back on May 18th. I had read a post by @elminx suggesting that it would be auspicious timing for that sort of work, so I had made kitchen witchcraft plans centering on that date. However, I feel as though I've been experiencing snowballing results ever since then, which culminated in a thoroughly incredible dinner and a movie date, at my place, exactly one month later! I won't enumerate all of the instances of good luck, unexpected gifts, and small amounts of surprise money that arose during that time-frame, for both my partner and myself, because there were far too many, and I wouldn't honestly be able to remember all of them anyway, but the dating results definitely have me believing in the power of lasagna. My self-love and confidence have been busily growing like weeds, and it really comes through in how many new connections I've begun building, and how many existing connections I've intensified, in the past thirty or so days. I've had an utterly ridiculous amount of casual hang-outs and birthday celebrations with existing friends, generally initiated by them, which involved loads of deep conversations and strengthening of bonds; my nesting partner and I have had even more break-through conversations, adorable moments, and awesome dates than usual; I had a fabulous board games night with a blossoming new friend, who was formerly my work-crush, which we plan to repeat as soon as possible, and during which we gifted each other fancy lotions (it wasn't a planned thing, but it's kind of funny that we both did that), I gave her a huge batch of chocolate-peanut-butter-self-love cookies, and she gave me several sets of rainbow earrings; I have a sudden abundance of unsolicited, but unusually cute, unusually respectful messages from thoughtful, interested parties on a kinky social network site; someone who I was very interested in, but who had ghosted me for a while, popped back up with a genuine apology and a reasonable explanation, and we're planning a first date as soon as our schedules align and the weather cooperates for a walk on the trails with their dogs; someone else I had been involved with forever ago, but fallen out of touch with, sprang back up in an unlikely place, although I've been too saturated to do anything about it; and, most importantly, I finally had my much postponed, but ultimately amazing movie date on Tuesday, following a ton of build-up. It went so well that I received perhaps my funniest and most flattering compliment from someone post-date -- amongst the other sweet things she said, during and afterwards, she added, "I may have at least one friend asking me to introduce you to her." Ha!

However, I think the results for my partner are the truly impressive ones, because while he's already attractive as hell on physical, emotional, and intellectual levels, it is hard to get in front of anyone on the dating apps, especially as a cisgender, straight-passing, polyamorous man with an existing partner. The Tinder algorithm odds just aren't stacked in his favour. Not only has he suddenly been getting matches, and into flirtatious conversations, but he had a wildly successful first date on Monday, they've planned a second date for next week, and he's planning on asking her for a third date the following week. I haven't met her -- of course! -- but she sounds so lovely and perfect for him, ahhh!

[meadow-dusk]

ok everyone come over I made cookies I made so many cookies

[dumb-doll-lips]

Im starting to brainstorm about what kind of cookies im gonna make for the holidays. Def sugar cookies bc i love my recipe, and have to do chocolate chip for my mom and sister. But anything else is still up in air.

Before I’ve done like jam thumbprint cookies, a made up think of taking the dough from those and adding almond extract, rolled in sugar and topped w half a maraschino cherry, snowball/Mexican wedding cookies/etc, butter cookies, cranberry and white chocolate. Prolly gonna repeat something but would like def appreciate if anyone has any cookie recommendations that they like a lot or like to make (just not w peanuts or peanut butter).

[ask-overwatch-heroes]

Merry Christmas to all heroes! For my fave cast of amazing and lovable characters, I give you all gifts! Give me your thoughts on what you think of my gifts :D

For reaper: a shotgun sticker (it’s a skull)

For sombra: it’s a computer that lights up purple and black

For widow: some imported French wine and a beautiful rose

For Junkrat: a homemade bomb with a note: ‘your the bomb, Jamison’

For Roadhog: a crochet pig plush

For soldier 76: a golf club

For mercy: a box of Swiss chocolate and a thank you note for all she does

For tracer: a giant pack of cool motorcycle stickers

For d.va: a new gaming chair

For mei: a pack of portable charging port for snowball

For junker queen: a crown handcrafted from cardboard

For Cassidy: a coupon for the diner he went to in the reunion short

For Ashe: a new cowboy belt and a hat for bob

For Kiriko: a box of Christmas themed donuts

Winston: peanut butter

Lucio: a pair of new headphones and skates

Zenyatta: a giant hug and all my support and appreciation

Enjoy 😀

Reaper: Hell yeah!

Sombra: Hmm, I'm pretty sure my custom supercomputer is more powerful than this, but I can always take the lites to improve my own setup. So, thank you!

Widowmaker: Good. I like wine.

Junkrat: Yeah, I am the bomb!

Roadhog: Ha, ha. Good.

Soldier 76: Heh, I needed a new one after someone broke my last one!

Reaper: Golf is shit, anyway!

Mercy: Thank you! At least someone recognises what I do around here.

Tracer: Heck yeah! These will look so cool!

D.Va: Oh, thank god! I kinda wrecked my last one playing League. I really need to stop playing that. It got lots of views, though.

Mei: You hear that, Snowball? We can keep you going on long trips!

Junker Queen: Perfect! A powerful crown from a powerful Ruler!

Cassidy: Why thank you. I've been cravin' a slice of their pie. The best diner in the Midwest.

Ashe: Hell yeah! This is mighty fine!

Bob: Thank you for the kind gift. I needed a new hat.

Kiriko: With extra frosting! Huh! This one has a little Christmas tree!

Winston: PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER! PEANUT BUTTER!

Lucio: Heck yeah! I had a concert comin' up and I was worried I'd have to go without any skates.

Zenyatta: My greatest thanks. A good hug can be the greatest gift of all.

[widowsistersandfriends]

Tickle Traditions

Request: Can I request a Clint x family x Kate fic, maybe it’s set when Kate comes home with Clint for Christmas and she learns all about their traditions specifically their Christmas tickle fight? 🥰 (if you don’t want to write this prompt that’s totally ok!! Xo)

Note: To the person who sent this prompt, I am so sorry it took so long to get to. However, I think this was a good time to write it! It was a really cute prompt, and I hope you enjoy! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!

Word Count: 1077

---------------------------------------------------------

It was cold and snowing outside, as a familiar car pulled up in front of the Barton household. Kate hopped out of the passenger side, helping Clint unload all the gifts for his family. 

“So where’s my present?” Kate asked jokingly.

“Me bringing you here is already a gift,” Clint replied, knowing that by now Kate understood his sarcasm and snarkiness.

Kate smiled to herself, eager to spend Christmas with the Bartons for the first time in a while.

“Hello Kate, it’s so nice to see you again,” Laura said sincerely, opening the door for the two archers.

“DADDY!” Nate cried out, running over to hug his father. Clint set the presents down and picked up his youngest son, who was giggling with excitement.

Cooper and Lila came over, both giving Kate and Clint hugs. 

After the hugs and greetings, they all sat down in the family room, drinking hot coco. 

“So Kate, I know you haven’t been here for many Christmases, so I haven’t been able to teach you all of our traditions,” Clint said, breaking the silence.

“I’d love to learn all of your traditions!” Kate said excitedly.

“We like to build snowmen!” Nate cheered excitedly.

“No, the best part is the snowball fight!” Cooper chimed in.

“I like baking and decorating cookies the best!” Lila said, as Clint nodded in agreement.

“Me too Lila. It’s the least rowdy of them all,” Clint said, as Kate rolled her eyes playfully.

“What should we start with first? Kate, why don’t you choose?” Laura suggested.

“I think I want to start with making cookies,” Kate said, as Lila high fived her.

A few hours later, there were delicious cookies cooling down on the table. A mix of chocolate chip, sugar, and peanut butter cookies awaited. They each took a sugar cookie and began decorating it, with a variety of colored icing and sprinkles.

After decorating their own cookies, they sat down to enjoy them with glasses of milk to go with it.

“These cookies are delicious!” Nate shouted, sporting a milk mustache with crumbs on his face.

Kate giggled at the messy boy, ruffling his hair to add on to the cuteness.

After enjoying the cookies, the six of them went outside to build snowmen.

Kate made hers an archer, after herself, and was proud of her work.

“You forgot something on your snowman,” Clint said flatly.

“First of all, it’s a snowwoman. And second of all, it’s perfect,” Kate replied, turning her nose in the air.

“No, if it’s made after you then you forgot the goofy grin on its face,” Clint replied with a smirk.

“I don’t have a goofy grin!” Kate exclaimed, as she was hit in the stomach with a snowball.

“OOF!” The archer doubled over.

“Who threw that?!?” Kate questioned, with the silly, goofy grin that Clint was talking about.

“See, there it is. All you need to do is add it,” Clint said while laughing.

“Oh that’s it,” Kate said, throwing a snowball at Clint, as Cooper declared a snowball fight. 

Snowballs were fired, as everyone tried their best to dodge them. Kate snuck around, hiding behind a bush, waiting for her chance.

She saw Clint was distracted, so she quickly snuck up behind him and dumped snow down his back.

“AAAHHH,” Clint yelped, as Kate quickly ran towards the kids to protect herself.

“Oh you’ve done it Kate,” Clint said, shaking his head with a smile. 

“You guys are on my side, right?” Kate asked the kids.

“No!” Nate shouted bluntly.

Kate’s eyes widened, as she was then chased inside of the house, where the three kids tackled her onto the couch. 

“What are you—AHAHAHAAHAHAHA,” Kate laughed, as she was now being tickled by all three Batron children.

“We forgot to tell you about our traditional Christmas tickle fight,” Lila said, as they tickled all over her upper body.

Clint eventually came inside, helping pin Kate while the kids continued to tickle her.

“NOHOHOHO THIHIHIS IHIHISN’T FAHAHAIR,” Kate yelled out.

“Hey this is on you. You put snow down my back,” Clint replied, now letting her up and temporarily having mercy.

Kate now got her revenge, tickling the kids worse than she got. 

Their laughter rang out throughout the house, mixed with squeals and lots of shouting.

“Clint, you’re the only one who hasn’t been tickled,” Kate said teasingly.

Before Clint could escape, Kate and the kids pinned him, as Kate began to tickle his armpits.

“KAHAHAHTE NOHOHOHOHO,” Clint cried out, unable to squirm away, as his children were stronger than he thought.

“Awwww the big bad archer can’t handle a little tickling?” Kate asked, now tickling his stomach and sides.

Clint was lost in laughter, as Kate switched off with the kids so they could also torture him.

They eventually let him go, as he lay there panting.

Kate quickly tried to run away, but Clint caught her foot, causing her to trip and fall facing downwards.

Clint quickly pinned her, digging into her ribs and sides, causing the poor girl to squeal with laughter.

“CLIHIHIHINT STAHAHAHAHAHAP,” Kate screamed, squirming to get away unsuccessfully. 

“Welcome to the family tradition!” Clint said teasingly, as Kate was still hysterically giggling and laughing.

Clint began to tickle her armpits, while the kids got her sensitive feet.

“OHOHOKAY MEHEHEHERCY PLEHEHEHEASE,” Kate cried out, as they eventually let her up.

“That was fun!” Nate said, as Clint pulled him into his lap to give him a few more tickles, making the little boy squeal with laughter. 

Kate threw a playful glare at Clint, as he just shrugged.

“I think we all know Kate’s favorite Christmas tradition,” Clint said, as Kate rolled her eyes playfully.

“You’re lucky I’m nice,” Kate said, giving Clint a look of warning.

“Nice? You’re the one putting snow down my back,” Clint retorted.

Kate pouted in defeat, knowing that if she said the wrong thing, she would get tickled to pieces again.

After a few moments of silence, Kate spoke up.

“Thank you for having me over for Christmas. I really enjoyed all the traditions,” Kate said shyly.

“Anytime Kate. You’re always welcome here,” Laura responded.

“And she makes a great tickle target,” Lila teased, as Kate reached out to tickle the younger girl.

With that, round two of the traditional Christmas tickle fight resumed, filling the air with laughter. Kate knew that she had finally found her place, and Clint knew that he had just gained an extra child.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Random Things Dr. Iceberg Has Said While Hunched Over His Desk Asleep

Dr. Julian Iceberg is many things. Touchy, sarcastic, a fan of bad ninja movies, a sucker for good pecan pie, and... kinda funny as a sleeptalker. Since he's really gotten up a lot of noses, and Dr. Gears likes me, it's our frosty sourpuss's turn to get teased. Big Boss spilled plenty of iced tea on the subject.

"Wait... since when do we have whoopee cushions as part of our kit?"

"Big banana boy." Repeated ten times, we have no banana anomalies of any kind, as far as I know.

"Silk hose? Really? This the modern age, or the pirate age?"

"I'm gonna keyhaul him right into a volcano."

"No, no, no. No. No. Nein, nyet, non, not happening. I do not get paid enough to paint 682's nails. Ask 053, he likes her. Oh? Why didn't you just ask to borrow my blue polish?"

"For 343's sake, Bright! Naked yoga is an in-quarters only activity! O5 told you this!"

"Dyo. Wash. Your. Bits. I'm getting blinded by your blinged-out dong."

"Why are they green?"

"You're gonna need a bigger gun, Alto." A pause. "Bigger. Like an AC 130 big. Well, don't ask me then. Sheesh."

"Since when did lasagna get on the menu?"

"You have a choice: put on clothes, or get the hose." Long pause. "Gender appropriate clothes. No one wants to see you in a miniskirt."

"Run. Faster. Go faster. Clowns are coming, must go faster."

"Choke on a Deagle, Insurgency bastard!"

"I WILL SHOVE YOUR HEAD SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU CAN WATCH ME BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU! DON'T CALL ME 'JULIE'!" No idea where that came from, but that was at 3 am on a Monday. When Iceberg.exe crashes, he crashes hard. He was there for hours, I heard.

"Hey, 076? Settle a bet, please? You wear the loincloth because it's cooler than pants, right?"

"My feet are NOT happy."

"For the ninth and final time, PUT ON SOME PANTS! I want to see a dong, I'll call Dr. Bright."

"Huh. This a cupcake, or the stone 073 used to kill 076-2 the first time?"

"WHO PUT CLOWN MAKEUP ON THE KETCHUP PUPPIES?!?"

"Pffft. So you got a jar of dirt. We have literal God and Foundation funding on our side, my good sir."

"Finally, something Mabel made that doesn't taste of Styrofoam." (aggressively chews file folders) "These hotcakes need some syrup."

"There is no Dr. Iceberg, only Zuul!"

"Dad! Bruce is sitting on me. Again."

"Jack. Get YOUR head out of MY ass."

"No... not the pink snowball suit! I'll be good, Boss, I promise! I don't want to be a snack cake!"

"You don't scare me. I've seen Dr. Gears angry."

"Fish."

"Do I look like I know what's going on?"

"No. Grape. Soda."

"Uh... didn't think Jello shots involved firearms, but your party, Alto."

"This is the weakest coffee I ever had. This isn't even coffee, it's the ghost of Java past. If I set this down and walk away, I bet $100 4999 pays it a visit."

"Eat this, you big ugly undead asshole."

"Leather pants? Hope you powdered yourself, otherwise... ouch."

"Duck. I mean... Duck!" A pause, then laughter. "And now you have literal egg on your face. I told you there was a duck."

"I'm allergic to peanuts. I'll skip "Peanut Butter Jelly Time", thanks."

"Uh... why is there A GIANT FREAKING BUTTHOLE in the Astrophysics Labs?"

"Bugger off, it's my panini."

"Leggo my Lego, Bright! That's my bloody X-Wing, I built it fair and square!"

"Touch my boots, I'll freeze your hands off."

"Coffee. Black. Never mind the mug, I'll drink it straight from the carafe."

[remnants]

batfam's favorite tastykake brand snacks:

dick- swiss rolls

jason- peanut butter kandy kakes

tim- glazed lemon pie (it has to be glazed he will not even entertain the thought of eating the baked version)

steph- snowballs

duke- chocolate juniors and crunch donuts

cass- powdered donuts

bruce- koffee kake juniors and butterscotch krimpets

damian- pecan swirls