#personally I’d say my gender is gas

[autisticempathydaemon]

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

‘You’re Gonna Go Far’ by Noah Kahan, I know these songs are kinda trending rn or at least they are on my fyp lmao. But I absolutely am obsessed with this song. So many of the lyrics are superrr relatable to me but I really love the lyric, “You’re the greatest thing we’ve lost” isbwieneo it’s so personal to me fr fr.

What is your Enneagram type?

9w1 :)

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

ok, ok, so. my imaginary friend was a girl with red hair. She was a little shorter than I was and I can’t remember if I had a name for her or not. She’d always match what I was wearing and we would play with my Polly Pockets all the timeee. Since I have a sibling I would more so play with them but my imaginary friend came to visit sometimes. She was really sweet. More outspoken than I was…if an imaginary friend can be outspoken.. She definitely had more confidence than I did.

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I’d change my name to Drew, I just feel like my name is so basic. My dad always said if my parents had a boy they would’ve named him Andrew. And while i’m comfy with my gender I’d still love to change my name. It seems easier to change it to something that my parents already kinda considered.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

While I love all of them. I think my favorite is ‘Comforted by an Arrogant Incubus’ it was the first audio of Erik’s that made me feel safe. I think it was the first audio I cried too tbh. I just love it so much. I also feel like my mutuals will be shocked that I didn’t pick a different audio.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

…I love him so much, and i’m saying this because i’m like him. And it scares me how alike we are sometimes. But Guy… I LOVE GUY!! Please don’t get me wrong. I just don’t understand the hype. I’m also a lot like him so that might be the reason…I don’t think i’m all that so maybe my feelings towards myself translate to him. But do I listen to everyone of his audios? Yes. Do I enjoy them? Also yes.

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

‘Captain America: The Winter Soldier’ I KNOW EVERY WORD!!! Every single one. I had a marvel obsession and let me tell ya. You turn on that movie and no one will see me blink for the full duration of the movie. I won’t move from my seat. This movie has a chokehold on me fr fr

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

I really had to think about this one. Would I date this person? Yes. Do I think it would go well…Maybe, but i’d rather be friends. But Im picking Sam!!!! I feel like he’s the dad friend and I need that in my life. He’s the guy that i’m calling if my car breaks down or if I do. He’d let me come bother him at all hours of the day while also forcing me to take care of myself when I busy with college. I love him so so so much and want to be his bestie so badly.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

I start to ramble about how not tired I am. Like i’ll be actively falling asleep and will be telling the person i’m having a convo with that i’m not tired and i’m not going to bed. Only to be asleep thirty (30) seconds later. I also get really cuddly when i’m drifting off and normally Im not that cuddly cause of how warm I am.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

White cheddar popcorn, those chewy smarties ropes, and a coca-cola icee. it slaps fr

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment. 

It’s a playlist that my best friend made when we took a twenty (20) hour round trip, road trip. It’s twelve (12) hours long and i’m obsessed with it. We had so many great unhinged moments during that drive. We still text about them to this day and the road-trip was last year lmao. We were slightly crazy to drive that much in a 36 hour span but it was worth it. We’ve got memories that we will talk about for the rest of our lives.

Extra info:

I’m the baby of my family, I’m going into healthcare, I love turtles (like kind of an obsession), i’m touch starved to the max but won’t do anything to fix it, I have a weighted dino and a weighted blanket that I sleep with. If I don’t have those I will explode. Oh, and I have a fear of sleepovers. So…yeah… :).

Thank you so much for doing this!!! It really made me think about myself which was fun! I hope you are having an awesome day!!

Hmmm, this one really had me percolating over the Redactedness brackets. In the end, it’s something about your Enneagram type that really settles me with Milo as your match.

9w1s are known as the Dreamers, characterized by this optimistic and unshakable sense of justice and a sense of responsibility to uphold it, to do what’s right. This seems supported by your goals of working in medicine/healthcare. That’s hella Sweetheart-coded which makes you a perfect fit for Milo. (Also, Milo is totally a momma’s boy, and I think he’d be so delighted to be with someone who works in health/healing like Marie. Like, not in a weird way, but it’d probably feel very familiar and loving to him.)

Also, Milo, like most shifters, is the perfect boyfriend for touchstarved babes who needed weighted things to sleep. We’ve all heard his “Comforted by-” audio; we all know he would give the best head scratches, and that’s not even mentioning what a fantastic weighted blanket/animal he would make in his wolf form. You’d be so sweet together: him with his cat, you with your turtle(s), those cats and turtles and their playfully antagonistic relationship. I can very much imagine Aggro being a dick to some turtles in a fun, cartoon, Tom & Jerry way.

Song:

You know I'll treat you right/ We'll dance through the morning while everyone's sleeping/ And if you get too tired/ Just rest your lips on mine/ Lovers don't have to just kiss in the evening/ I think we danced last night till three in the morning

One of my favorite fandom headcanons is that Milo loves old-school, classic love songs of the crooning, swing dancing variety; I think it’s some combination of his accent, rakish charm, and confidence. I could easily imagine this playing through your house in the evenings, those twilight hours between night and day, between asleep and awake, when you are sleepy enough to let him lead you through a dance.

Runner-ups:

Geordi, I love for you because I think he’s an unashamed Marvel fanboy, and I love pairing nerds together; y’all deserve it. Personally, I think he’s a Spiderman fan, and y’all could have some very fun debates about Team Captain America versus Team Iron Man. Elliott would be a cute runner-up because I think it’d be sweet to put two babies of the family together- like, your energies would match- and you two could have a fun college meet-cute; that setting would really suit him.

note: thank you for waiting so patiently~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[theluciansystem]

‘a million and you’ fic series ~ part 1, ‘wild spring’.

CWs: abuse, straight up abuse (if you know you’ll be triggered then please skip this fic or just skip the section beginning with a ‘—.—.—.—‘, once you see the second one those or the line beginning with “Marc’s eyes widen”, you’re fine to continue.), swearing.

Tags: Y/N is trans, Y/N worked with Marc back in the day, Traumatic Backstory™, Y/N got trauma, Marc and Steven are bi, Marc needs therapy, Y/N also needs therapy, the boys are sweet bbys and you can’t take them from me.

Word count: 2k

I’ve known Marc for a while, did work with him in the past, then found each other again in a gas station of all places. I always knew something was a little off about him, but I mean, I never questioned it. When I was introduced to Steven earlier this month, man; it took me for a loop. I thought I knew pretty much everything about him.. or so I thought, at least. Being perfectly fair, he- they don’t know everything about me either. 

I’m a trans man, pretty much always have been. Sure, when I was very young, I’d do the whole dress-up as a princess thing, but when I grew older, I just realized: this isn’t me.  With that realization, came a lot of confusion and stress. I didn’t quite understand what it meant to not want to be the gender I was assigned at birth, so when I told my parents, it.. I don’t like to speak of that day.

When I came over to the boys’ place for a history tournament with Steven, we played the tournament for several hours, until we realized what time it was, and it was late enough where I didn’t want to walk home alone. While I was considering whether or not to walk home or to just call a cab, Steven mentions something, “why not just stay here for the night, better than walking home in the rain, innit’?”

“I-I don’t wanna intrude.. I don’t mind.”  I say, but truthfully I would love to. Shit, I’d sleep on the couch if it meant I could wake and see him in the morning. 

“You sure, darling?” 

Fuck, his words effect me more than he probably realizes… I love when he calls me that, I don’t know why.  Maybe it’s the sweet accent, or the concerned tone, or maybe it’s just… him.  I’ll admit, I’m not the most communicative person, but compared to Marc, I think I’m doing just fine. And still I try my best.  

“Honestly I would stay..  the only problem is, I don’t have a change of clothes.” 

“You could borrow one of my sweatshirts? And I think I have some pajama pants that’ll fit-“ I nod, and he almost seems giddy as he starting to look through his dresser. He gives a laugh after a moment of searching his drawers. “Found it!” Steven pulls out a pair of pj pants that are apparently in my size and one of his favorite sweatshirts. I look in awe and honor of the fact that he’s letting me wear one of his favorites. He barely lets Marc touch them. 

“You alright?” He asks, holding the clothes under one of his arms. I nod. 

“S-Sorry. Haven’t had a sleepover since I was a kid”  I say, chuckling. He lets out a wholesome laugh. 

I walk into the bathroom to change, closing the door behind me and taking off most of my clothes, and stretching after I take my binder tape off for a moment to rest. I know you’re not supposed to sleep in a binder but.. tonight I don’t have a choice. I start to put my binder tape back, when I realize too late that the door wasn’t locked. 

Steven opens the door, probably not realizing I’m in here still, only to see me nearly exposed, my tits covered for the most part with my binding tape. He just looks for a split second before he quickly closes the door. He doesn’t say a word, and I think that’s what scared me the most.

I swiftly get my own clothes on, leaving the ones he left me with in the bathroom, I open the door and sprint out to find him. He’s at the kitchen table reading, I close my eyes and start to try to explain..

“I-I’m so sorry, I should’ve told you s-sooner and I was just scared-“  I continue to blabber on as I stop recognizing everything–every touch, every sound–around me. That was until I felt Steven’s hand placed firmly on my shoulder.

“Darling..” he says, “it’s okay.”  and I feel like it is.. he makes it okay.

I stare up at him, not even realizing there’s tears building in my eyes, but he sees it, and he pulls me in to hold me, I start to cry. We stand there, holding each other, with me sobbing into his sweatshirt. Slowly and eventually, I calm down, as he’s saying “it’s okay”’s and “I’m here”’s. My breathing evens out and I feel.. okay. 

I loosen my grip on my arms around his waist, and I look at him. He has a more serious look, but it still seems gentle. “Can I.. ask a question?” He inquires, and I nod.

“Are you.. transgender?”  

“I-.. I am.”  I say, somewhat nervous about his answer. 

“Well, uhm.. thank you for being honest with me and y’know.. just..” he fiddles with his hands, obviously nervous but seeming to try to hide it. 

“Is..” I’m not quite sure how to ask this, “Are you both okay-?” 

A blank stare, then a look of puzzlement crossed his face for a moment before I clarified. “Are you both y’know.. alright with this?” and it clicked for him. 

“Darling, this isn’t about us! It’s about you, coming out to us, it’s a special thing, I’m so proud of you for doing so.” He says, and I feel the tears that have built up so quickly slip out, but so sweetly he’s wiping my tears away. 

Giving a light smile, Steven says “whoever you are or decide to be, we’ll be here, love.” And I’m beaming, probably looking like an idiot. 

I lean into his chest, and just breath. I can smell him, it’s odd how Marc and Steven can smell different sometimes, but it’s how it is; Marc gives off a more metallic, smoky fragrance while Steven gives off a more flowery aroma. And then it hits me. 

He called me love. He’s never called me that before. “…what did you call me?” I ask, flustered. 

“Lov- oh, oh!  I’m so sorry, I dunno why- okay, that’s a lie, I do know why. M’not supposed to say that-“ Steven says, and I know I’m looking perplexed.

“What do you mean, ‘not supposed to’ ?” I question. He’s fiddling with his hands again, I sigh, putting his hands in mine. “What’s going on?”

He gently takes my hands toward his lips, kissing them softly. My eyes go wide, and it feels like my world is flipped right-side up. “Steven..” I don’t know what to say. He leans in toward me, “I-.. we like you, Y/N.”

We look at each other, he’s grinning like the idiot he isn’t. I look him in the eyes, for any sign of this all being some kind of joke, but there isn’t. All I see in his eyes is.. love.

I close the space between us, capturing his lips with mine. The kiss is tender, but passionate. Delicate, yet heated. I’m running my hands through his hair as he picks me up, I wrap my legs around him, and he’s carrying me to his couch and setting me down, continuing to kiss me along the way. 

Slowly brushing over my skin, his lips move down to my neck. Nibbling on my skin, until I pull back, he looks up at me, desire ablaze in him. “H-hold on..” I start to say, breathless, “Aren’t you straight??” 

Steven lightly chuckles, also out of breath. “That’s what I’m not suppose’ to tell you.. I don’t wanna label us, ‘guess to say, we just like both-? Mhm, yeah.” He says, looking in the mirror I suggested he put out whenever Marc told me about Steven, and I’m assuming he’s talking to Marc about this.

He turns back to me, sitting down on my lap, briefly kissing me, and it’s sudden, but I realize something I somehow never realized before; I love this man, and every part of him.

We sit with him in my lap for a while, his head resting on my shoulder. He abruptly raises up, looking at me seriously. Uh-oh. The change in the way he holds himself, how tense he is.. “Marc.” 

“Hey, angel..” he says, changing position to sit to my side instead of on me. He’s always called me that, and I’ve always loved it, but tonight, the way he says it so seriously.. it makes me a bit frantic. 

He sees the nervousness in me, he caresses the side of my face, I lean into his touch and into him. Our lips touch for a split moment, he looks into my eyes before closing his. He kisses me over and over so gently, it’s almost like he’s afraid of hurting me. Then he pulls away, having that look his face of hesitation, of needing to say something but not being sure how, of- 

“I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to be truthful with me, but only if you’re comfortable answering. Alright?” He breaks the silence with, and I nod. Curious about the question.

Marc seems uncomfortable asking, I adjust position so I can hold his hand. He takes a deep breath, “why were you so panicked when Steven saw you in the bathroom?”

Ah…

—.—.—.—

“Silence was my parents reaction when I first told them. My mother not-so-simply walked out of the room, my father began to yell that a girl couldn’t turn into a boy. That I was even dumber than I looked if I believed that they could. Maybe I was dumb, but I knew who I was. My mother returned with a boxer cutter in hand, she screamed a bible verse my brain refuses to remember, and told me to repeat it. I didn’t.

Silence was also my answer to the question she asked, after she assaulted me with that very box cutter. She asked me, “would a tranny slut like you want a new dress or a suit for your funeral whenever you die?” she asked my thirteen year old self. How fucked up is that, exactly..?

Silence also was my answer when my father banged my head against the concrete wall, begging me to take the lord into my life before it was too late and the devil consumed me. I remember I wanted to go home, but I didn’t know where home was.”

—.—.—.—

Marc’s eyes widen, his mouth opening slightly enough to form a perfect o. He looks at me for moment after the silence begins, then he pulls me in for a hug. Let me say; that’s the best hug I’ve ever gotten too. 

I look at him, confused. And it’s like he senses my confusion, “Baby, you were…  did this happen again?” 

“I don’t know-“ I chuckle, like the joke was is me, “my mind kind of filters off most of my childhood after that.” 

He continues to hold me, just tighter. I don’t quite understand why, I say something no one should have to say, “what? Isn’t that just the typical childhood years?”

Giving a look of pure concern, he holds me tighter, “No..  that isn’t ‘typical’ at all. That was.. horrible, to say the least.”

Not sure what he means.. “Growing up, I just hated b anything sharp really, it didn’t really effect me…”  then it kind of hits me, “..right?”. I say, questioning if I’ve just blocked out how much it hurt me this entire time.

Unsure what to say, and it seems neither does Marc. He laces his fingers in mine. “I.. I don’t know,” he starts to reply, “that sounds.. very traumatic.” and he’s right. We hold each other until it’s midnight and past. 

I’m tired, but I can’t sleep and it seems neither can he. I breath him in, still holding him tight. Through half-lidded eyes, he looks at me. “Baby..” he begins, “do you want something like.. therapy, maybe?”

Thinking for a moment, I decide that it may be a good option, I nod. He gives me a light smile. “But, I have a condition for me doing this;” I start to say, before Marc kisses me.

“Anything”

I lightly chuckle at that, “I want you to go to therapy too.” 

“W-what?”

[biological-catastrophe]

Hello! I need to complain because America is a fucking joke. Vent under the cut as well as TW/CW list

TW/CW: School shooting, (preventable) death, cancer, abortion, homophobia/transphobia

This country is a goddamn joke. I could go on and on about how bad it is and I really need to because it’s grinding my gears.

They’re passing a law that makes it ILLEGAL TO BOYCOTT COMPANIES SUPPORTING ISRAEL. They don’t give a fuck about our constitution. In one breath they’re saying this and another saying the fact we can’t afford a place to live is because we keep spending money on Starbucks and avocado toast. And how the fuck are you going to enforce this?? You gonna hold a gun to my head and make me buy McDonalds or Starbucks?? What the fuck?? We already can’t afford to live here.

I’m lucky my parents are still letting me live with them because I could never afford a place to live. I’m pretty sure I did my math right but: minimum wage is $7.25 USD an hour. The average apartment is $2,000 a month. To afford JUST THAT, someone would have to work near 70 hours a week. Not including food, insurance, medicine, gas, anything besides rent. And with the pay I got at my last job ($10 an hour), I’d have to work 50 hours a week for rent. “Oh those jobs are only meant for like high schoolers” so you only want these fast food places to be open from 5-10 pm? You don’t want them to be open during school hours then? Hypocrites.

And SPEAKING OF SCHOOLS, the school shootings are not a joke. I think I talked about it already but there was an active shooter on my college campus while we were outside. We have lockdown drills so many times, it’s ingrained in us what to do since kindergarten what to do. I met a girl who got shot like 7 times and survived. I’ve grown up always having an escape route out of the school. Nobody cares. Nobody cares that a literal toddler was able to get ahold of a gun and SHOOT HIS TEACHER, and the teacher warned about the kid making threats before and the school didn’t do anything. Nobody cares that someone a girl rejected could bring a gun to school and shoot her and many others. It’s hypocritical that they ban abortion and then don’t care for the kid as soon as they’re born.

And god, the abortion ban. I live in Texas as I’ve said. Here, the law is called the heartbeat bill. Abortion is allowed until the fetus has a heartbeat. But by the time people have that, they generally don’t even know they’re pregnant. It’s basically a total abortion ban. And they’re so fucking sneaky with it. You can SUE people and doctors who have abortions. A man sued three women of a million dollars EACH, including is then-wife. And I also heard rumors of them trying to ban state travel for abortions as well which is also unconstitutional.

And do we even want to talk about health care??? I saw a video the other day of a girl and her best friend who both have cancer and can’t afford it. They can’t afford LIFE SAVING TREATMENT. Are you fucking joking?? People can’t afford insulin and are dying from it. People can’t afford life saving shit and die. What the fuck kind of dystopia is that?? I had to go get an MRI and it was THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS???? What the fuck???

And do we even want to get started on the homophobia/transphobia?? The ‘don’t say gay’ bill in Florida and the numerous drag ban bills. Texas is doing the thing similar to the heartbeat bill where you can sue a ‘person who is not conforming to their assigned gender at birth’ or something like that. Femboys and masculine women could get sued. What the fuck? It’s so expensive and hard to get HRT and surgeries for people. They are trying to raise the voting age so people can’t vote against it. They started with kids and now want to include adults into their 20s. I’m sick of it. I’m just sick of all of this.

And I can’t complain about all of this and not talk about the 2021 Texas Freeze. Basically what happened, February of 2021 we had a horrible freeze, at nights it got into the negatives (for reference, ‘cold’ here for me is in the 40s. This is all Fahrenheit. 40°F = 4°C; -3°F = -19°C). Our power plants weren’t ready for this. We lost power during a lot of this. Some people didn’t have power for WEEKS, people died from the cold because the power plant people were greedy and lazy and didn’t put in proper weather safeties. This could have been prevented. Pipes burst, people died and got ill, the state was in a panic for weeks. We had power about half the time, but god was it cold.

I hate this country. I hate it so fucking much. This country is a fucking dystopia, some sick work of apocalypse fiction. I want to leave so fucking bad. I can’t wait till this place crashes and burns.

[kavvehs]

𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐈’𝐒 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓

status : closed

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒

you must be following me to participate! new and current followers are welcome <3

please only choose one (1) of the three (3) options. mutuals can choose the special bundle if they so desire.

entries will be accepted until december 15th. all gifts will be queued to be delivered on december 25th.

please only select one fandom!

writing for : akame ga kill, black butler, breath of the wild, code geass, darling in the franxx, final fantasy vii / xv, fe3h, k/da, kill la kill, mystic messenger, nier replicant / automata, persona 5 / royal, soul eater, yu-gi-oh! (dm + gx only).

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𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐏𝐒

these are your typical matchups — you supply information about yourself you’re comfortable with sharing and i pair you with a character from a designated fandom!

you’ll receive a small aesthetic moodboard with your match.

please send in : fandom, your personality, likes, dislikes, hobbies, what you find attractive in a person, gender preference for your matchup, and if there are any characters you don’t want to be matched with.

please do not send : enneagram, myers-briggs type, wizard house, a picture of yourself, birthday / astral sign. i don’t know what to do with that!

pls specify if you’re an adult / minor if your blog doesn’t say so already so i can assign you the proper character.

please remember that all matchups are based off of personal opinion and what you’re willing to share with me! they may not be 100% accurate and are done for fun.

𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐒

— send me a bit of information about your selfship + a word prompt and you’ll receive headcanons centered around the two of you during the winter season!

— please send : info about your self insert (how they know your f/o, etc.), your chosen f/o, tropes (enemies to lovers, coffee shop au, etc.), and anything else you think i should know!

— word prompts are, but not limited to : mistletoe | fireplace | hot cocoa | celebration | warmth | snowman | baking | presents | ice skating | holiday songs | sledding | ugly sweaters

— these will primarily be sfw, but i can try to include suggestive content at your request! 18+ only, age must be visible.

𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐘

— similarly to matchups, send me a bit about you and i’ll match you with someone you may not usually selfship with!!

— please provide the same information as a regular matchup.

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𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐄

— mutuals only (sorry!)

— you’ll receive a MERRY MATCHUP, SELFSHIP SNOW ANGEL, and a MIDNIGHT MYSTERY + my love and support /p

— pls provide the necessary info described above <3

— if one doesn’t strike your fancy, you’re welcome to mention that you’d like it excluded!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND STAY SAFE !

[foreveralonewithmystupidthoughts]

Why can’t she just accept me? If she did, maybe others would.

So, tonight, my mum asked me if the girl I have been talking to knew I was a ‘lesbian’. I didn’t really give her a proper answer. Just said, that it didn’t matter.

Truth is, this girl, is the only person who calls me my name, Dylan. She’s the only person who refers me as He, Him, or His. She’s the only person who accepts me properly.

Yes some of my friends do know, but they don’t really use my name. Or use my pronouns He/Him/His. Maybe this is why I have become clingy with this girl, but she’s also become clingy to me.

She’s the first person to text me first, my other friends wait for me to message them. She’s the first person to buy me a friendship bracelet. She’s the first person to give me a nickname. She’s the first with everything.

I wished I could look at my mum and tell her ‘NO SHE KNOWS ME AS DYLAN, BECAUSE THAT IS WHO I AM! THAT IS WHO I ALWAYS BE, SO WHY DON’T YOU JUST EITHER ACCEPT ME OR GET OVER IT!’ But I didn’t. I got to scared.

I wish I could just run away from here. I wish I could go somewhere far away. But I can’t. Because everytime I think about it, I feel guilty! Guilty for leaving her in debt, guilty for leaving her without my money even though she moans about it when I spend any of it on myself.

Like, why can’t she just accept it? I’m 🚹 not 🚺. And I’m also ⚧. I have felt like this forever. This isn’t a fucking phase anymore. I’m being tortured by being in my own body.

She just won’t accept it because she thinks I’ll change my whole self. My personality, my likes and dislikes, I don’t know why??? It’s not like I’m going to change anything apart from my genitals!

I’m still going to be me. I’m still going to like serial killers, I’m still going to like conspiracy theories, I’ll still like the same bands as always!

Why don’t people understand that? I’m still me! I’m still going to be me! Just different gender.

What actually pissed me off is that she will accept EVERYONE BUT ME!!! She had a trans friend (but he changed his mind, my opinion he done it for attention), but yeah, accepted him. But she can’t accept me!!! Why not? I know I’m her kid, but still? Parents are suppose to love you no matter what.

She knew something was up with me all my life, she just can’t accept it herself. I know it would be difficult at first. I know she would misgender me a few times, call me by my old name (I don’t know if it is classed as a deadname if I’m still using it?) but I won’t mind, as long as I know she’s trying.

I wish she’d just come out and ask me or whatever. Even if she tells me to leave? I would go and I wouldn’t come back, only to get my stuff. I know she probably wouldn’t because I’m the one with the money, I’m the one that buys the shopping, the one that tops up the electric and gas. And honestly she’d feel ashamed because she knows I’d go to hospital still, and when they ask where my mum is, she knows I will tell them the truth. Especially the diabetes team! She will definitely feel ashamed.

She knows they’d be shocked at how a mother could disown their own child because of their gender. And causing them mental health issues and all sorts. And also chucking them out to fend for themselves with loads of serious illnesses. I wish I could tell them the truth. I wish I could greet them and say “hi! My names Dylan!” But I can’t.

I always wonder what they’d say and do? Would they be shocked? Would they be happy for me? Would they not want to know me anymore?

Just wish she’d accept me!!!

[suzdotranslation]

[Interview TL] Minase Rio DengekiOnline Interview

Original article

The ghost who aims to be an idol, interview with Minase Rio.

Apparently possessed other talents besides singing!?

――There might be people reading this article who weren’t familiar with UPROAR!! so please introduce yourself!

Nice meeting you! I'm Minase Rio, a ghost aiming to be an idol. I like to sing a lot, and I'm capable of singing in a higher tone compared to most male singers!

――In your own opinion, what kind of unit UPROAR!! is like?

They're like a comrade in arms and a friend I share familial bonds with. They've also become a place where I could feel belong and come back to.

――What do you think your charm point is?

My cat-like eyes!

――What is your favorite food?

Meat! Fish! Veggies!

――Do you have something you disliked?

Horror stuff!!! I'm a ghost though!!!

――If you were to compare yourself to an animal?

Likely a cat, because I acted at my own pace most of the time. But I'm not exactly shy around others so I might have a bit of a dog-like attitude too!

――A song you’d do good at during karaoke?

Official HigeDandism's "No Doubt" I think It's easier for me to sing in high notes for both masculine and feminine keys

――Do you have a special skill you’re proud of?

I can't really show it on stream, but I'm actually good at befriending various animals! (laughs)

――Do you have someone that you respect a lot?

Besides the people in the company, I also respected those who helped me to continue this activity. After all, it's because of them that I was able to be myself, and it was them who knew what I've been going through since the start of my debut 

――Do you have any recent games you’re interested in?

I like story-based games a lot, so recently the game I'm interested in is "Ryu ga Gotoku(Yakuza series)" series! It's not exactly a new game, but it's a series that has been loved by their fans for a long time I think

――Is there any entertainment content you’d be interested in currently?

"SPYxFAMILY" is pretty lit!!! Also, there's an anime called "Sono Bisque Doll ha Koi wo Suru (My Dress-Up Darling)" I watched recently, the scene when the character said "You're free to like what you want regardless of your gender" really moved my heart. After all, I myself don't necessarily have a masculine-like hobby

――What’s your current obsession?

Taking an afternoon nap with my cat

――What’s something that made you laugh recently?

Something that happened when I collabed with my genmates recently. It feels like we were playing just like when friends came over to play together, so I just laughed naturally

――What is the number one thing that made you cry recently?

I can't rank any particular moment, but sometimes a game could make me deeply emotional that I would cry

――What was something you’re most embarrassed about lately?

There was one time when I started singing while the instrumental isn't playing even though I already had everything prepared! (laughs)

――Please tell us a “god-like scene” from one of your recent streams!

I'd like to say every single moment, but most recent would be the time in my singing stream when I started singing HigeDan's "Mixed Nuts" and got into the zone too much

――The day before the broadcast of the first "Jump Uproar!!" episode was coincidentally your birthday, did the rest of your genmates congratulate you there?

Nope! Not really! (laughs) I don't particularly hope for it then again... This kind of stuff just happened when you're in a male-only group I think... (laughs). But they did leave a comment on my birthday stream, even tweeted and helped hype it up!!! I personally preferred when I wasn't the only one being hyped over, so I was really happy when I saw everyone is joining in the fun! From now on, I'll try to hype everyone's birthday celebration too like it's a festival!

――Please tell us your impression of your first special program “Jump Uproar!!”

I’m quite surprised at first, mainly because it hasn’t been a while since we debuted so there’s a part of me who felt anxious about other people’s reaction

――Please let us know of any interesting points from the program!

The main charm is probably how every episode is presented as it is, we didn't know what we were being roped into so you get to see our honest reaction and how we grew throughout the show!

――Please tell us your honest feeling from being dragged into bungee jumping recently!

I was like "FOR REAL!?!?!??!?!" (lol)

――When you arrived at the site and thought it's an airsoft place, you're reacting quite excitedly. Have you ever played it before and are you good at it?

I haven't tried it before! I'm probably not good at it too but I'd still like to try it!

――You ended up laughing after finding out it was a bungee jump spot but, how did you feel about it personally?

What other choice do I have but to laugh!?

――Though you ended up enjoying the scenery after bungee jumping, Please let us know about your impression after that!

Everything really hits differently once you've tried it(bungee jumping)!

――In order to realize the goal of being "The most happening VTuber around", what kind of challenge you'd like to attempt in the program?

Outside of doing plans with the rest of my genmates, I personally wanted to do a stream where I give out useful information, mostly things that aren't being touched by the younger generation these days! Something like an introduction stream to Japanese traditional cultures. I think this topic is rarely picked up on even though there's a lot of interesting culture and jobs here, most newer generation also watches VTubers so I think it will be a good opportunity to connect them with it

――Lastly please tell us your message to the fans.

Thank you for your support! I couldn't show my thanks every month, and I always said it on every stream but, if it were not for everyone's support we probably couldn't even find a reason to keep our current activities. For me, Idol is an existence that shines because of the love they got, that's why it's thanks to everyone that we manage to step in closer to the path of an idol. From now on too, let's enjoy this scenery together! I'll do my best to hype things up, so I would be happy if everyone could see it through.

[roylustang]

how did i not know you lived in japan lol?? that’s so dope and tbh i’ve always thought abt doing a study abroad there since i took japanese classes 😅 i got held up pre covid cause my school required homestays with a program that felt super conservative…. anyway i’d love to know what your experiences as an english speaking person in japan have been like! esp if you can speak to the experience of being queer while navigating those identities

Boy how DID u not kno that I’ve been here for over a year and I talk about it all the time lmao. I also tried to study abroad here for a semester but didn’t get to bc of covid rip but it’s fine I’m here now 👌🏻

Since I live in the middle of nowhere pretty much no one speaks English. anytime I find someone that does speak decent English I’m like WHO R U but I speak bad intermediate Japanese so it’s p easy to get by. They always ask me if I have a point card at the grocery store (the grocery store in general is v overwhelming at first but it doesn’t actually take that long to get the hang of it tbh), they ask if I want a bag at family mart, I tell the gas people いっぱい/満タン　お願いします (they have full service gas stations which is wild) and then school is it’s own breed of language which I’m v good at understanding bc I’m around it every day obviously. I’ve also learned u really only need to know a few keywords when having a conversation u can figure out so much through context alone. Sometimes I only have to say like one word (like I said mikan zeri) and people know what I’m asking for (I knew the VP was saving my mikan jelly from lunch in the fridge for me bc I was working from home that day but it was Special Order and I wanted it). Sometimes (because there’s only 3 white people in this town) I don’t have to say anything at all I just show up at the doctors office say konnichiwa and they give me a cup to pee in bc I couldn’t do it six weeks earlier at my health check (bc period reasons). It’s kinda wild how u can communicate with people with just the bare minimum. I am known throughout the town as maddie-san or maddie-sensei if ur under 13 lol so when I sign in at the gym I only ever write my first name. The foreigners (all 5 of us) only ever write our first names at the gym bc no one else has a katakana name lol. It’s a bit strange bc since I’m white and I stick out everyone knows what my job is and what I do here but the people I actually talk to and stuff r v nice (old people r very nice and they LOVE to give u food esp mikans). Idk I could talk forever about this probably. It’s a lot different than living in a city where there are a lot more foreigners. Whenever I go to Kyoto and I see multiple white people im like omg white people 🤯 tbfh. I could talk about this forever lol

Also I don’t ever bring up being gay here. It doesn’t usually come up anyway and I think I’m on the aro/ace side of the spectrum anyway. But I do find it interesting the elementary and middle schoolers do get LGBT talks and speakers and whatever which is more than I could probably say for america. In general tho I’d say there’s definitely ignorance but they got the right spirit. This towns mostly old people tho so idk how the old people feel about it. Don’t b trans here (in japan in general) tho if u want to legally change ur gender u have to be sterilized which is super fucked up.

[jambenvs3000f24]

Describe your ideal role of environmental interpreter. What might it entail? Where might it be? What skills might you need?

My ideal role as an environmental interpreter is one who finds ways to make science, research, and information more accessible. Science has a long history of being predominantly championed by white men; while this is slowly changing science is in many ways still inaccessible. Concepts like evolution and climate change are primarily discredited by people who either were never given the tools to properly understand these complicated topics or by people who are directly benefited by the system ahem*oil and gas companies*ahem. Providing science education and critical thinking skills is so important, especially online as misinformation is widely prevalent and conspiracy theory pipelines rely on people not understanding, oftentimes at no fault of their own, but by an education and social system that failed them.

I think finding ways to make science more approachable is so crucial to remove boundaries such as wealth, race, gender, etc. from science. I would like to summarize complex topics almost in a non-academic way, instead of focusing on terminology or specific processes finding ways to make it more approachable for a general audience. When scientific terms are needed (when maybe a good synonym doesn’t exist), explaining them in an approachable way using metaphors, practical examples, and limiting their use when possible. There are some really great examples of this already online that I absolutely look up to and think are so vitally important, examples like Hank Green, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Minuteman, etc. While their experience and specialty are different they are notably all men and 66% white. 

For me complex topics look like scientific papers which can be dozens of pages, filled with technical jargon and even more complicated methods from sampling, statistical analysis, so much more that even other scientists without a specialization within the specific field can sometimes feel like gibberish. In addition to just scientific papers talking about scientific discoveries like fossils, cumulative reports, and others which require some background to fully understand which can be difficult to obtain, especially if you don’t even know where to start.

Finding ways to share content whether that is online via instagram, tik tok, youtube, etc. or within community programs would be so rewarding. I would like to target teen to adult audiences. While I think having a basic knowledge in children is so important I can’t say I’m the person for that job. I love children as much as the next guy, but, I: one don’t want to be responsible for children, two, I’m more interested in topics with a little bit of controversy  and providing nitty gritty details for larger concepts, three I have a bit of a potty mouth and would rather be able to do work where I don’t have to censor myself, at least to the same degree. I also think providing information and resources to people who already have a basic understanding of the world (whether or not that perspective is rooted in actual information or misinformation being irrelevant) is more interesting. Children are compared to sponges, soaking up information, because to them everything is new and adults don’t lie. Adults on the other hand know other adults lie, they have biases, they have experiences which shape not only their current perspective but also their response to new information, especially information that challenges their world view. To me this makes them not only a very different type of a challenge to make content for but also leads to more interesting discussions, more back and forth, and even occasionally the shifting of a mindset in either or both parties.

I would need good interpretive skills to take information such as scientific papers, reports, etc. and relay it in more common language without losing the meaning as is so often the case. I’d like to be able to provide information outside of bias which means looking at sources from varying political, social, and geographical origin, evaluating them on quality of research (sampling methods, type of analysis, interpretation of results, and so on) rather than their association. Some of the best ways to dismantle conspiracy and cult-like mentality, is providing alternative explanations for false positives and false negatives (type I vs type II errors) and education on other sources. If I were to actually create online content, especially as a female presenting human would need thick skin, to deal with the inevitable hate that everyone online receives, but also the special kind of hate directed especially at women.

I’ve thought a lot about making online content, as I’m sure everyone in my generation has, but keep deciding against it for one reason or another. Maybe someday I’ll actually do it.

[oliviahallwriting]

Chapter 4

When Tom had applied to Loftman State the year before, he’d glanced at the graduation requirements. For some reason he needed at least one introductory humanities course to get a degree, even in landscape architecture. Kind of bullshit, he’d thought. Just a ploy to keep students paying for longer than they needed. It wasn’t like the classes were generally useful, either. Most of the classes in the category looked like one-way tickets to becoming the most obnoxious kind of person imaginable.

There had also been a few “history and culture” classes in the list, which were also niche, but definitely a better choice. He’d decided to take one of the Hispanic cultural classes in his winter term to get it out of the way. It’d be a breeze. His mom would have taught him some of it already, and besides, it’d be nice to get to his roots. 

That had been the plan, until he’d discovered, with only minutes to spare on the class-application site, that every Hispanic-culture class was across campus. More damningly, all of them met before nine in the morning. So he’d resigned himself to “Intro to Gender.” A lame and unnecessary subject, according to the pundits his abuelo watched, but at least it met at 11 and was only halfway across the school.

He’d been prepared to hate the class. But now, a few days into the course, Tom admitted to himself that he kind of…didn’t. Not that he’d say so to his family, of course. It was just that the subject was a little weirder than he’d expected. Sure, some of the vocabulary was clunky, and he’d had to tell himself that apparently internet teenagers hadn’t made it all up, but he powered through it. Soon enough, he’d started to save his gender readings for last, as a treat.

A few days before the party, Tom had raised his hand for the first time in the connected discussion section. The instructor had given a prompt about masculinity in Latin communities.

“So, my mom’s Colombian, and my dad’s white,” he’d started. “A few years ago, a lot of people on her side of the family were over for Christmas. It was a full house. It was also the first time my dad had met most of them. He got along okay, but he’s always been quiet, and I could tell he wasn’t super comfortable. A lot of people in the house, over for several days. It was kind of a lot; I don’t blame him. Anyway, one of those days, me and most of the guys were hanging out in the garage. We were talking about sports and shit. Cars, too, at least they were, and Colombian politics. Talking pretty crudely about ch—about women, I mean. And my dad was keeping up great. He was shooting the shit about all of it. Except for the sports, I’d never heard him talk that way. He’d only talked to me about girls, like, once. Later I caught him reading a website, some political site, and he confessed to me that he’d researched a lot of it the day before my mom’s family had arrived. He’d asked my mom what her family liked to talk about, and how. Regional Spanish slang and whatever. Even the stuff about the differences between Colombian and American girls, he’d apparently looked up on forums.”

The discussion lecturer had taken a moment before replying, and pointed to a phrase on the blackboard. Decades into the twenty-first century, and the discussion classes still used blackboards.

“So, you think your dad was code-switching?”

“I guess, sure, but he didn’t know the code already. Even some of the stuff he thinks is natural, like how to interact with women. He wasn’t confident enough to learn it on the fly. I don’t know, maybe he had to gas himself up to talk like they did. There were a few drinks involved.”

“Huh, interesting,” the lecturer replied. “Thanks for your contribution.”

That had all been the week before. Now it was the third Tuesday of the semester, and nine days to Thanksgiving. Tom swore he could feel it in the student body as he walked to his gender-studies lecture.

The professor strode back and forth on the stage, chatting to the front row of the lecture hall. The subject of the day had to be a personal favorite. 

The professor went by “Dr. Espinoza” and used “they” as a pronoun. It had taken several days for Tom to get the hang of it. For a while he’d had to imagine a class where he couldn’t see the professor, and imagined them as someone in a crowd who he couldn’t quite make out. But it had worked, and now he was reasonably confident that he wouldn’t insult them if he went to their office hours.

A slideshow projected on two screens on the back of the stage read “Gender Expression.” Tom looked at it blankly, having struggled through the material the night before. Not every reading for the class was interesting. After the third page describing gender identity and expression, he’d given up. At least his landscape-architecture readings had pictures and charts to break up the prose.

It hadn’t helped that he’d been distracted. Why would Vanessa think he was gay? Why would there have been an FBI agent around Ashman? And, if there was nothing to the email, why did Dr. Florence look startled when he read it, and why did those two girls in the lounge run away from him?

Dr. Espinoza started their lecture. Tom knew it was rude, but he took out his phone to read the email’s wording again. His mind was racing enough that there was no way he could focus anyway. It was either look at the probably-nothing email or deliberate on what Vanessa had gestured towards at the party, and that wasn’t happening.

“Find aid,” the message read. Tom hadn’t tried to find Kiyana since the office hour he’d had with his grandma. After class, he’d check out some science clubs. Social media, too. Basically all college chicks—women—were online somewhere.

Dr. Espinoza’s voice lilted into a question, and they called on someone near the back to answer.

The student cleared their throat. “Well, as a trans guy,” he started.

There weren’t many men in the class, trans or no. Unless that wasn’t what the guy had meant. Tom hadn’t ever understood where the phrase “trans man” meant someone was a man or woman or whatever. 

Tom looked behind him, curious, and heard a few of his classmates follow suit.

The student who replied definitely came across as a man, at least, with his style and haircut. He “performed” as a man, Tom supposed, trying to remember any of the lecture from the past ninety minutes. 

“Gender performativity is an okay idea, and it’s fine that people have a broader idea than the hegemonic binary model,” the student started. 

He looked decent, Tom decided. Had a charismatic way of speaking, too. If Tom were gayer he’d have called him a “twink”. Then the student paused, and looked down at a few of the students who’d turned around. His eyes briefly met Tom’s before moving on to the rest of the crowd. He kept talking, like he was giving a speech.

“But even gender spectrums shouldn’t be the end point in the conversation. It still leans into the idea that people are a combination of masculine and feminine, but we don’t even need to give them that much. Why call different facets masculine? Feminine? If gender abolition is our goal, we need to commit to it.”

Another student raised her hand, so Dr. Espinoza called on her to respond.

“Should it be our goal?” The girl asked.

“Oh, yeah, sure,” the dude said. “I don’t think dissolving the legal distinction to gender means people’s individual identities will change. All I’m saying is we don’t need to frame anything in gendered terms.”

“Some would say that this kind of thinking allows patriarchy to thrive.”

“I, uh,” the guy started, and faltered a little. “I’d imagine we can tackle that separately. Or maybe a broader view of gender would make it easier to oppose oppressive structures.”

“And if we can’t? If it doesn’t?”

“Then you’re implying that, what, men are biologically predisposed to oppress themselves and others? That’s wrong.”

There was a little murmur in the room. The girl who’d been arguing with the guy behind him sat down.

Dr. Espinoza nodded and turned to the student who’d been speaking. 

“So, without taking too much more time, because I know we’re almost done with class, what would you be proposing?”

“I, um, I’m not sure. It’s a hell of a battle, right? All I know is what a better world could look like, at the end of it. I guess we could start with education. Abolishing conversion therapy, too. Whatever supports fluid modes of being.”

With that, the guy sat down. The lecture ended, and students filed out from Tom’s row. He kept sitting, trying to parse what the student had talked about. He’d definitely sounded like he knew what he was talking about. 

Probably a humanities major, Tom thought, amused. How else would someone be that pretentious without having actual policy solutions?

The student who’d spoken left his row and walked down the column. Tom followed him out the building. The guy was pretentious, sure, but also kind of interesting, and Tom wasn’t about to let him escape. 

Tom caught the guy in the hall.

“Hey,” he started.

The other one looked up. He had intense, dark eyes, otherwise gentle features, and came across as simultaneously intense and gentle. It had to take a lot of effort to pull off both simultaneously, Tom thought, a little impressed in spite of himself. Just because he didn’t care much about appearances didn’t mean it wasn’t its own art.

And then he felt a little stupid, because he’d just had a class on gender performativity, and he was talking to someone who was trans. There might have been more at play than simple aesthetics.

“Hi, what’s up?” The guy said. “I think I’ve seen you in class before.”

Tom hadn’t, until a few minutes ago. It was a class of at least one hundred and fifty, and the lecture hall had balcony seating.

“I liked your answer,” Tom said. “Kinda profound or some…uh, something.” 

“Oh, that? Yeah, I don’t know. I just kept saying words.” He looked at Tom and cocked his head a little. “My name’s Jun, by the way.”

“Tom.”

They shook hands. It wasn’t that formal of a gesture, more of a sidelong, small motion from Jun as they walked down the hall. But Tom fumbled it a little; he hadn’t done the whole shake-hands-and-make-eye-contact thing since his job interviews the previous summer. To his knowledge, he’d never formally introduced himself to his high school friends.”

“You want to have lunch or something?” Tom asked. “I have an hour.”

Jun smiled. His eyes crinkled a little bit. “Yeah, totally. Have you tried the chili fries at the SIC?”

The SIC was the Student Information Complex. Tom had visited it only twice, once as a touring high schooler. The complex had several centers for various types of students, like those looking for scholarships, and those in work-study. He would’ve forgotten about the place after the tour, had his mom not pestered him to check it out a week into the school year. It had been a hassle, but he’d wrung a whole fifty dollars from admin for two hours of his time.

There might’ve been a few other rooms. No chili fries, though; he’d have remembered that.

“I didn’t know the SIC had chili fries.”

“Yeah, there’s a cafe next to the Quirby.”

Tom looked at him blankly.

“You know, the Queer and Intersectional Resources building.”

“That’s the Quirby?” Tom would’ve bet money that “queer” was a little too loaded to use in a building’s title.

“Yeah. It’s shorthand. For the acronym.”

“No, I get that. Never mind.”

“Because it’s inclusive.”

Tom didn’t reply for a bit, focusing instead on putting one foot in front of another. It was getting a little strange.

“Tom? You do know that that word ‘queer’ is inclusive, right?”

“I, uh, I guess.” At the least, his gender-studies professor was comfortable enough with using it. “Can we drop it?”

“Because it’s mostly considered an insult because of the trans-exclusionary movement and its adoption by well-meaning liberals. Oh, uh, sure, yeah, I’ll drop it.”

“Thanks.”

Jun changed the conversation to food and hobbies.. Tom enjoyed the lighter topics. Apparently Jun was one of the founders of the Audio/Visual club on campus, and sometimes studied at the Quirby between classes.

“My next class is anthro,” Jun said.

“Furry shit? God, I’ll walk away right now.” Tom gave him a friendly little smack on the shoulder. Or, he was trying to, but Jun frowned, and rubbed his shoulder a little. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean that in a bad way or anything.”

“It’s okay,” Jun said, but he was still frowning. “I mean, anthropology and anthropomorphic share a root word.”

“Anthropologists go to Somalia or whatever, right?”

Jun nodded. “Or wherever they can find some human-interest story. There was a pretty famous study some guy did where he became a crime lord for a couple days in a major city. Forgot which one. Philadelphia, maybe, or L.A. The devil in the city of angels.”

“Wow. Was that the title, or was the dude just that pretentious?”

“Oh, sorry, yeah, I made that up. So the latter. The book was kind of interesting, though they couldn’t use it as a true study.”

Tom mumbled acknowledgement and they kept walking. The Student Information Complex turned out to be far from both his gender-studies class and his next lecture. Not too bad; he could probably skip the next class anyway. He knew enough about basic math from high school. Maybe Jun’s anthro class was closer.

Tom looked over to find Jun staring at him. He was a little startled at the directness of the eye contact—the guy had quite a stare.

“You wouldn’t actually walk away from me if I were a furry, right? Fursona, fursuit, everything?”

“What? I don’t know. Probably.”

“Yeah? Because there are better reasons than that.”

“I guess it depends how embarrassing you were about it,” Tom said. He felt like he was at a job interview.

“That’s what matters to you? How embarrassing something is?”

“I don’t, uh, I haven’t thought about it, I guess. Why? Are you?”

Jun shook his head.

Tom let out a nervous chuckle. Who talked like this when meeting someone? Furries were like politics; you didn’t bring them up on a first date. Not that this was a date, obviously.

He actually had talked politics on a first date before. One of his girlfriends had brought up her supposedly-hot takes about welfare, but it had been a pretty boring conversation, as he remembered. Most politics were, but that might be because his own politics weren’t that weird or radical or anything. Maybe Jun’s were; he seemed like the type.

Jun was continuing his little rant, for some reason.

“It’s just that they get a lot of hate online for doing basically nothing, and it’s a red flag to me when someone hates them for no reason other than that they’re embarrassed. Shows me they haven’t thought about it at all.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense.” Tom couldn’t imagine reading this much into other people’s opinions.

Jun laughed. “Sorry, I know I can get kind of intense. I basically only talk to comms and social sciences majors.”

At least he was different from the people in the residence hall, Tom thought, as they ordered fries. Tom’s were chili, Jun’s were garlic-parmesan.

“The Quirby has the best seats on campus,” Jun said, and gestured to one of the doorways in the building. “ Honestly. I’m not saying that to trick you to go inside.”

Tom hesitated. He wasn’t about to insult the guy again, but he wasn’t entirely comfortable with sitting there. He didn’t belong, not really. Not that anyone would ask. He just wouldn’t want to take a seat from a lesbian or something.

“If they ask, say you’re dating me,” Jun said. “We’d be like one of those romance webcomics. The ol’ fake-relationship schtick.”

Tom laughed. “You read those?”

“Maybe,” Jun dragged out the word, a smile creasing his eyes.

They walked into the Quirby, which was much larger than Tom had thought, comprising several rooms connected by open archways. Sofas, padded chairs, and beanbags took up the corners of the main sitting area. Another room had a built-in closet, which had a bunch of different dresses and suits. A different area held a bookshelf and a serve-yourself tea stand, complete with a pot of loose-leaf tea and a coffee machine. It was impressive that the space didn’t look cramped.

The successes of the Quirby’s interior design didn’t carry over to its embellishments, though. An array of different palettes clashed on the wall, drawing Tom’s gaze too rapidly and to too many different areas. He supposed that was inescapable, a consequence of the many different groups his gender professor had relayed to the class all having their own flag. His favorite one was the “ace” flag, a term for a community he’d only learned about that day. The splash of purple against monochrome was relatively minimal, even classy.

Tom had his doubts whether such a group really existed. Or, at least, in high enough numbers to be worth treating as more than some obscure Internet group. Supposedly they were only a few percentage points of the population, but even that felt high. To his knowledge, he’d never seen an ace person in the wild. More of the inverse, really. Increasingly he felt like no one around him shut up about their own desires, though, admittedly, they might have been faking.

According to an announcement board on one of the walls, the aces had a dedicated club, which couldn’t have gathered more than a few people. Ironically, the board stood next to a pamphlet about STD prevention and an open package of condoms, which was almost empty.

A few other club listings were posted. Several STEM clubs were hosting a combined party the week after Thanksgiving, and, in two months’ time, there was some kind of engineering showcase. The deaf and hearing-impaired students had their own club, too, which wasn’t surprising. Loftman himself had been deaf, and made sure the university was accommodating. As a result the university drew in a sizable contingent of hearing-impaired people. Tom occasionally saw people signing to each other on campus. More importantly, it meant that almost every lecture was transcribed, available online, and skippable.

Only two other people were in the Quirby, enjoying the tea station, so Tom and Jun were alone in the main sitting room. The seats were, in fact, more comfortable than the other chairs on campus. Definitely more so than the main library; beautiful as the building was, the wooden benches were insulting. 

“You have more classes today?” Tom asked, munching on a fry, which was delicious. Not too crispy or greasy, and with properly-seasoned chili, which wasn’t that common. “Besides the furry one.”

“Yeah, I have Comms this evening, for my major.”

“Communications?”

“Yeah, I know. You can make fun of me. But I swear I took it because I liked the subject.”

“It’s fine. You could go to five ragers a week and I wouldn’t knock you for it.”

“Doubtful. But parties aren’t really my scene.”

Made sense enough. The Venn diagram between people who knew about the Quirby and people who went to Comms parties had to be two circles.

“What do you even learn in Comms?”

Jun shot him a look.

Tom shrugged. “Sorry, I’m sure you learn things or whatever. I’m just curious.”

“You have a way with words,” Jun said.

“Thanks.”

“We learn media literacy and training so we don’t get, you know, destroyed in the marketplace of ideas.”

“Sure,” Tom said, though he wasn’t sure what Jun was talking about. He ate the last few fries. A shame; it meant that he’d lose his excuse to postpone his next class. According to the pink, white, and blue-striped clock on the wall, it was one-ten. He was already late. More importantly, he couldn’t continue the conversation, which he was warming to.

“Wait a minute,” Tom continued. “So you aren’t specializing in gender studies. Did you already know it? That shit in class, I mean.”

“Glad you liked it. And yeah, some of it comes with the territory,” Jun said, gesturing broadly to himself. “Out of the required classes I could take, this was the easiest.

Tom finished his fries.

Jun continued. “So, I’m guessing you’re in business?”

“What’s that supposed to mean? I’m in landscape architecture.”

Jun’s eyes shot up. “Really? Huh.”

“Yeah. What, ‘cuz I’m Hispanic?”

“What? No, no, I guess I made a few assumptions. Didn’t know you’re Hispanic, though.”

“Mixed,” Tom said. “My mom’s Colombian.”

“And it’s only that I thought you were the business type.”

“Because I want power?”

“No, no,” Jun stammered.

“Because I’m a cold-hearted asshole?”

“Uh, a little. You sounded kind of arrogant.”

“I’m fuckin’ with you,” Tom said, before processing the words. “Fair. You’re too sensitive.”

“Yeah? Maybe it’s because I care about other people,” Jun said, but he smiled. There was something in his eyes, something competitive. It stopped Tom’s breath for a moment.

He recovered. “Try giving them space, snowflake.”

Jun turned back to his fries and muttered something before biting into a few at once. It wasn’t that intelligible. Something like “straight dudes, I swear to God”.

Tomtried to keep up the nonchalance, but nerves thrummed in his chest. “I never said anything.”

Jun looked back at him quickly, clearly surprised. Maybe it was Tom’s answer, or maybe he didn’t expect the little quip to be overheard. His eyes flickered up and down. “Oh, no? Could’ve fooled me.”

“I mean, I am, but I never said I was.”

Tom wished he’d sounded more confident. In truth the “ace” poster made him a little unsteady. 

“Oh,” Jun said. “Straight enough to sit next to me in the Quirby fifteen minutes after your class started.”

“Yeah. I’m an ally.”

“Okay,” Jun said. He sounded doubtful.

“What?”

“It’s uh, I don’t know. I shouldn’t pry, but, um, I’m gay, and I thought I was okay at catching these kinds of things, but you have kind of weird vibes.”

“I’m glad you have such an airtight, scientific approach.”

“Well, I don’t know. I would’ve assumed you were bi, maybe pan.”

“I didn’t know there was a difference.”

“Yep.”

“I also didn’t know you could be gay and trans.”

“Well, sure. I’m a guy, and I like guys, so, yeah.”

Tom gazed at the visually-crowded wall in front of him. At least this confirmed the “trans man” question he’d been stuck on for a while.

Another minute of two passed before Jun stood up.

“Hate to leave you, but I feel sort of bad for costing you twenty minutes of lecture. See you, uh, next week, I guess?”

“Oh, before then, hopefully,” Tom said. “Let me give you my number.”

Jun inputted his contact info into Tom’s phone and sent a sample text.

It’s me, Jun. ;)

Jun

[etzenvs3000w23]

Privilege and Nature Interpretation

Learning and reflecting on the role privilege plays in people’s access to nature has helped me put words to some of the situations I’ve witnessed and been part of throughout my life. But before getting into all that, it’s important to understand what privilege actually is. My current working definition of privilege is: the lack of barriers and/or the presence of advantages because of characteristics that an individual has related to race, socio-economic status, ability/disability, religion, native language, gender, sexuality, education, etc.

Access to nature itself is a privilege. I have a lot to say on this topic, but I will try to keep it short! I am a Middle-Eastern person who is a child of immigrants. Growing up, I was privileged enough to go camping with my family every summer. I almost used the word “lucky” instead of “privileged” in that last sentence. I changed the word to privilege because I was able to go camping as a result of my family being middle-class and able bodied; thus we were able to afford good camping equipment, a car, gas, cost of the campsite itself, cost of renting a canoe, and my parents could afford to take time off work to give me these amazing experiences. As someone who has grown up with these experiences, I now know that someone like me – Middle Eastern, brown, queer – can in fact go camping, even though those spaces are not always as welcoming to me as they are to white people. When I’d go camping with my family, I would rarely see racialized people, let alone openly queer people. As well, the media adds to this. We often see outdoorsy ads targeting white, middle class, able bodied people. The lack of representation of all other groups of people implies that camping and being outdoors is simply not for them, and in turn they may face more mental and physical barriers to interacting with nature. They may be more reluctant to participating in nature interpretation programs and the risk of feeling out of place or not knowing what to do may deter them further.

There is one specific example that comes to mind in relation to this topic. I worked at a camp for kids with disabilities and I saw first-hand how there are barriers that make it harder for disabled individuals to interact with nature. For example, my co-worker who is an amputee and a canoe tripper uses a custom-made paddle and prosthetic to go on trip. She explained to me that typical paddles disable her, but her custom paddle enables her. This shows how privilege plays a role in access to nature as that it is a privilege to simply be able to use a typical canoe paddle. I witnessed how kids with similar challenges saw for the first time that going camping is actually possible as a disabled person. However, sometimes it might be more costly and so your socio-economic status plays a part in whether or not you have access to nature at all. In relation to nature interpretation programs, I have been on maybe one guided hike that was wheelchair accessible.

I could go on and on but I am at my max word count. Overall, there are endless examples of the barriers that exist that may prevent/make it harder for people to access the outdoors, and that in itself shows that privilege plays a large part in nature interpretation.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

Hey 👋

I swear I'm addicted to your writing😁 Thank you for the amazing post❤

Can I request a usually calm reader coming home to Hanni and Wil with n bruise on their cheek and/or blue knuckles from n fight. And when they question reader they find out reader defended their relationship.

Or

Them reacting to reader with cigarette burn scars from childhood or self harm scars.

Sorry if it's specific I had a dream about the first one and I'm insecure about my scars😅 Also if it makes you uncomfy ignore me🤣

Have a wonderful day/night/afternoon💕

Hey anon, sorry it took me a hot minute to get to this. Hope you enjoy!

Gender neutral y/n comes home covered in bruises. Their lovers Hannibal and Will need to know why.

trigger warnings: blood, threats of violence, mention of firearms, stalking

You spit a mouthful of blood into the snow before you even thought about turning the doorknob. Any random passerby would look at you and think you were attempting to rob the place. You couldn't say you disagreed, though: your hood was pulled over your head and you held a tire iron in your singular non-bleeding hand.

You knew it wasn't wise to let the old-money Baltimore socialites catch you in such a compromising position, but you had to double-check your mental map of the house one more time. Hannibal would undoubtedly be cooking; hopefully so in his element that he wouldn't notice you slipping by. Will was the one you had to worry about. When it came to you, he'd become as alert as a German shepherd with protective instincts to match. Where he was in the house was anyone's guess, so you needed to be on guard.

You removed your heavy boots and opted to leave them outside. You then tossed the tire iron behind a nearby planter and slowly, quietly turned the knob. The door creaked as it opened, making you cringe. The sight of neither of your partners immediately running up on you was a bit of a relief; you hadn't been discovered quite yet.

You just needed to make it upstairs so you could barricade yourself in the master bathroom and use that oh-so-rare sliver of privacy to cover up your bruises. Then you could climb down the trellis, grab your shoes and make a proper entrance with hello kisses and whatnot.

"[F/N]?" Hannibal called out before you could even breach the threshold.

With no thought on your mind other than "fuck", you turned your head away from the direction you heard him. "Yeah, I'm home."

"I'd rush to give you a kiss, but I'm a little tied up at the moment." He said, undoubtedly grinning to himself as he trussed a chicken with sturdy cooking wire. "So you'll have to come to me."

"Oh, yeah." You called back. "Let me just get cleaned up first."

"If you insist." He said with a dramatic dip in his voice. "But hurry right back. Dinner is almost ready."

Hurdle one was cleared. Now all you had to do was clear the second, much higher hurdle.

You ascended the stairs, but forgot to skip that one consistently creaky step that always alerted the dogs. A small army of dogs came pouring into the upstairs hallway, blocked only by the baby gate Hannibal had installed as a compromise. Enthusiastic barks filled the foyer as you desperately tried to calm them down from the top step.

"Winston! Max! Harley!" You rattled off as many names as you could remember. "Hush, please!"

"[F/N]?" Will said, turning the corner.

You momentarily considered throwing yourself down the stairs. It would be easier to explain the bruises and you could still soak up that sweet, sweet throuple affection without having to tell a story that even you didn't entirely believe. Common sense, however, kept your feet firmly on the ground.

Will appeared in your line of sight. You pulled the brim of your hat down and stuffed your hands into your pockets. "I, uh- forgot how to open the gate again."

The dogs parted in Will's path and he looked at you with suspicion as he effortlessly opened the gate. "Is everything okay?"

You turned your head to the side. "I'm fine. It's just really cold outside."

"I'm sure those wet clothes aren't helping." Will cocked his head. "We can start by throwing that hoodie in the dryer-"

Before you could pull away, he pushed your hood and your hat off in one fluid motion. He knew what was going on.

"I'm no doctor, but I don’t think busted noses and black eyes are side effects of low body temperature." He said, folding his arms.

You put your hand up, unintentionally revealing the bruises on your knuckles. "You learn something new every day."

You tried to scoot past him, but he grabbed your hand and pulled you back.

"[F/N]--" Will said, a blistering fury beginning to percolate in his chest. "Who did this to you?"

"I ran into a bus stop." You lied, not even trying to make it sound believable.

"That bus wouldn't have happened to be headed to Dacula, would it?"

Your silence spoke louder than any excuse you could think of.

Will sighed. "Right. I think I know what happened."

"Will, I-" you protested.

"Save it for dinner." He scolded. "I'm sure Hannibal would love to hear this."

You'd been found out it was much worse than anticipated. You felt like you were on trial, which, given the circumstances, you could have actually been on trial in a real court of law on the charge of aggravated assault. However, that didn’t make you feel any better.

Hannibal demanded an explanation and couldn't wait until dinner. He was willing to let one of his culinary masterpieces burn in the oven, knowing of course that a much rarer delicacy was in the cards once you gave him a name.

He brushed his finger over an open cut under your eye. A light click of his tongue reached your ears as he examined your face.

"Give us a name, love." Hannibal probed, holding your jaw between his fingers and following the trail of bruises down your neck. "Who did this to you?"

"It's not a big deal, really." You assured him, squirming against his grip. "I started it."

"Now that, I find hard to believe." Hannibal contested. "You're not a preemptive strikes kind of person."

"Nor would you go all the way to Dacula to throw a few punches." Will added, approaching you with an ice pack.

"Okay, so maybe I finished it." You corrected.

Hannibal smiled proudly to himself. "That's more like it."

"What exactly did you finish?" Will asked, gently placing the ice against your bruised knuckles.

You sighed. You mentioned Dacula once and they already knew the answer. They were just waiting to hear you say it.

"My ex-boyfriend, Sidney." You leaned back on your one good wrist. "He was a being a completely irredeemable shit, as usual-"

"Details, darling." Hannibal said in too singsongy of a voice than was really appropriate while wrapping your hand in gauze.

"Acting entitled, talking like I belonged to him-"

"You have no idea how little that narrows it down." Will shook his head.

You were compelled to agree, but couldn't bring yourself to admit that and the fact that you ever dated Sidney in the first place. "Right."

"That isn't out of character for him." Hannibal said.

"And certainly not enough to make you willingly drive back out to cousinfuck nowhere to beat him up." Will finished.

"I didn't go out there with the intent to beat him up!" You contested. "He said that if I could meet him for coffee he'd never speak to me again. I know it's a lot of gas money, but I really was gonna hold him to the whole 'never speaking to me again' bit."

"So what happened?" Will asked, growing impatient.

You looked at the ground, embarrassment stopping the words at the tip of your tongue.

"Somehow, he caught a whiff of our... arrangement." You tightened your hands into frustrated fists. "And he made some really shitty comments about... you."

Hannibal and Will exchanged looks. They let the silence linger, urging you to fill it.

"He went into obscene detail about how mmf threesomes are his favorite category of porn," you tried not to gag as you recalled the disgusting details. "And then said if I 'let him watch', he wouldn't tell the local baptist church that I was a whore-"

"The man is a pig." Hannibal said, matter-of-factually.

"I got up to leave." You continued. "Obviously. Then he said he knew where you lived. Announced it to the whole diner. Started to go through his list of semiautomatic weapons. So to make sure he knew I meant business-"

"You threw the first punch." Hannibal finished the thought for you.

You nodded. "Naturally."

Will smiled to the floor and pushed his glasses up his nose. "I would have loved to see that."

"As much as it pains me to say," Hannibal began, resignedly agreeing. "It's only fair that you stand up for us the way we stand up for you. From time to time."

Will brought your bruised knuckles to his lips. "Though we desperately need to teach you how to dodge. Because the next time you come home covered in scratches, someone will pay."

You took both of their hands. "I should get beat up more often."

[vegitoswife-archive]

A/N: Aunt Flo is here for her visit with me, and I’d like some catharsis, so have this! As always with my fanfiction of these two, how I interpret them stems from personal headcanons, since they have basically nothing in canon. Got to give them something to work with.

Prompt: How would the fusions of Goku and Vegeta aid you during your cramp-filled menstrual cycle?

[ Vegito x Gender-Neutral & AFAB!Reader ] [ Gogeta x Gender-Neutral & AFAB!Reader ]

CWs: Menstruation talk, Light sexual themes.

— This man is a bit clueless. He has memories of Goku helping Chi Chi deal with her period, but they’re all muddled and foggy. So, Vegito’s arrogant self might do a poor job of expressing some empathy for your unrelatable plight, but he will do his best for you. Contrary to how he jokes at times, he does actually love you a lot.

— He can do simple tasks like fetch you water and painkillers no problem, but if you request more physical things like he rubbing the achy parts of you, you might have to remind him to not be too hard. He usually never forgets his strength, but in this monthly period of suffering for you, your body does require a little bit more tender care that he forgoes. Cuddling is always a safe bet.

— Gito does tend to forget things quickly if they aren’t something he constantly thinks about on a day-to-day basis, so if he goes out to buy you more pads or tampons, you’ll desperately need to send his phone a picture or two of the brands / versions you want so he’ll get it right. Please save your proud, universal-level warrior the embarrassment of walking into a pharmacy and looking utterly puzzled in the feminine care section.

— Whether your appetite is very active or very hindered, he’ll make sure you’re at least relatively fed. Cooking isn’t his forte per-se, but he knows how to whip up a couple of dishes that can be both filling and easy on your stomach. Getting take-out is also on the table. If you’re not in the mood for much outside of mere snacks, he’ll buy bags full of them for you. Eating something is better than nothing.

— Don’t worry about the other unpleasant, additional effects your body often undergoes during your cycle. You got gas? Sure, Saiyans have a sharper sense of smell compared to humans so Vegito won’t like his nose picking up the stench, but he isn’t so immature that he’ll hold your bodily functions against you. And thanks to the assortment of food he eats on a daily basis, whenever he gets gas, his poots usually smell worse than yours anyway. He has no room to talk.

— If your libido is running wild and you’re itching to take extra showers with him...he’d be more than happy to take you up on that. The warm water is soothing, will wash away the blood, and having an orgasm (or two...or three...Vegito knows how to pleasure you to say the least) could help in relieving some of the pain of your cramps to boot. A win-win situation!

— Just like Vegito, he also can’t completely recall the memories of Goku learning about what to do for Chi Chi during her time of the month. Unlike Vegito, Gogeta would actually do his own research into what he can do to help make your cycle as easy to bear as possible. He’s all about gaining knowledge, especially if it’s for your sake.

— No matter what you need, he’ll get it for you. After he memorizes your “basic care items”, you can expect for he to fetch them for you without you needing to ask. He’ll give you massages if you’re suffering from muscle aches, face held in its usual stoic manner but his eyes say more than enough of how soft he is for you.

— Gogeta will go get you more pads or tampons without compliant, but he will bring you back a surplus amount. As in, enough to last you the rest of your current cycle, plus the next three or so further down the year. You might have to find a place to store the extra packs until you need them, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.

— It’s rather funny because he doesn’t seem like the type at all based on his typical demeanor, but you know that your beloved can be quite the mother hen in his own way. When he’s home from training and his shift at his workplace, he will cook you meals. He’ll make sure you’re fed and have leftovers of nutritious foods to eat. If part of you starts to feel that you might be unintentionally taking advantage of his kindness, he’ll shoot those doubts right back down. If he was feeling ill (rare but not impossible), you’d do your best to look after him. What kind of partner would he be if he didn’t return the favor?

— If you’re gassy, pass it around him if you must. It’s better for you to release it then to hold it inside. But don’t be offended if you catch Gogeta spraying a little air freshener behind your back. Please, keep his superhuman sense of smell in your thoughts. It is perfectly ok to find his dramatics funny though; his also tend to smell worse.

— Gogeta prefers taking baths with you over showering, but he knows that the bathwater getting tainted by your flow of blood would be no good - if you don’t like using tampons. He’ll wash your body with such gentle movements that your libido might flare to life if it wasn’t already. You’ll be kept in there with him until you’re feeling content. He’ll try to behave, and not leave too many lovebites on you. You’re dealing with enough pain in your cycle as is.

[starchxn]

Overdrive | Bang Chan

⥃Stray Kids Masterlist

Pairing ➳ Slight Baker! Bang Chan X Gender Neutral Reader.

Genre ➳ Strangers to (kind of) Lovers AU, (Implied) College AU, Slight Angst, Fluff.

Word Count ➳ 1,357 Words.

Warnings ➳ Mention of Alcohol (though both Chan and the Reader are not explicitly mentioned to have drunk any) Slight hyperventilation/panic, Reader has a few thoughts of low self esteem.

Synopsis ➳ Chan was just supposed to deliver four boxes of cupcakes to a frat house on New Year's Eve, surely nothing would go terribly wrong… right?

A/N ➳ This fic is dedicated especially to @mxxndreams (SURPRISE!) on behalf of the @districtninewriters Winter Fic Exchange Event. I apologise for not interacting much with you during the writing process but I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

I also tried my best to make this fic a gender-neutral one so if you spot any mistakes/indication of gender please don't hesitate to inform me <3

The car engine idled to a stop as multiple people turned to look at the newest guest who had arrived at the bustling party. Cheers and loud greetings followed him as more and more people recognised his familiar face, walking over to meet him.

“Chan! Too busy to come party?” One of the guests called out cheerfully, speech lightly slurred from what he suspected was alcohol.

“I'm afraid so, I only came here to drop these boxes off for Hyunjin. Speaking of, where is he?” Chan frowned as he failed to spot the raven-haired man in the bustling crowd.

“Must be inside, I must say he's quite caught up in the 'hosting' part of it all. I don't think he'd be coming out anytime soon.” One of the other guests nodded towards the house practically booming with music before going back to chatting within the group he was with.

Chan cringed at the thought of pushing through a crowd of sweaty people in a house practically vibrating with the volume of the music just to deliver four boxes of cupcakes.

However, as if the situation were contradicting his thoughts, the music booming inside the house instantaneously reduced, previously vibrating ground coming to a sudden stillness. Shouts carried over the crowd in the sudden placidity of the night as people parted from the driveway of the house in a line as someone bolted out, running as gleaming tears streamed down the corners of their eyes.

They were barreling straight toward him.

“Whoa-“ He started, but was interrupted as soon as they pulled open the car door and wedged themselves in, stunning him into silence.

“Hello, I don’t know you and you probably hate me for literally barging into your life but can you please drive me away from here before I have a complete breakdown?” You rambled away, almost hyperventilating.

“Whoa, whoa, hey calm down! Let’s get you out of here.” Chan started the engine and stepped on the gas immediately, swivelling into the road and driving away from the house as the guests simply stared after them.

For the next thirty minutes, all Chan could do was drive as far as he possibly could from the rich district and into the motorway, speeding into the night all while his phone rang with at least fifteen missed calls from Felix, presumably asking him if he’d delivered the cupcakes.

All while a mysterious person sat sniffling on the passenger seat of his car.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” You finally broke the silence as Chan’s phone lit up yet again.

“I’d rather not unless you plan on going back,” He cringed, silencing it with one hand while the other stayed firmly on the steering wheel.

“Not really, no,” You replied, your voice cracking.

“Are you okay-?” Chan started but turned to silence when he realised it wasn’t the best question he could’ve asked. To counter his actions, he pulled into the side of the road and let the engine sit idle to give him some ease as he tried to talk to you.

“Yeah I just realised running into a random stranger’s car and letting him drive me into an isolated road isn’t one of my best-taken decisions,” You admitted awkwardly, scratching your neck in embarrassment.

“Oh… OH, THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I SWEAR!” Chan’s volume increased drastically which caused you to cringe which in turn sent him into yet another fit of panic.

“Oh my god no I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to scare you but like I swear I’m not gonna do anything to you it’s just that you told me to drive you away from the house but I didn’t know your address so I just kind of meaninglessly drove-” He rambled on and on, hands flailing about as his eyes grew as wide as saucers.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his flustered state, but you were too late to stop a fresh wave of sobs from tumbling out of your mouth as the cold, biting wind whipped through the open-roofed car.

Chan watched in stunned silence as your body wracked itself with sobs, tears gleaming under the moonlight as they ran down your cheek.

In one last, feeble attempt to redeem himself, he mumbled something about getting out of the car, something which you definitely hadn’t heard, before he leapt out and strode straight toward the trunk, opening it with one swift click.

He took out a giant, fluffy blanket.

Swiftly closing the trunk and returning to the front of the car, he opened the door to the passenger side and knelt down, sitting face-to-face with you.

“Do you mind if I drape this over you?” He asked as he looked over your shivering and shaking form.

You simply nodded in consent.

He unfolded the large, fluffy mass of cloth and engulfed you in it completely, shielding you away from the cold, heavy wind and welcoming you in the calming warmth.

As he returned to his seat and turned on the radio to the lowest volume, your sobs died out into sniffles and occasional hiccups as your body calmed down from the second breakdown of the night.

“What a way to spend New Year's Eve, am I right? In a stranger’s car having a breakdown in front of someone you met and practically threatened barely thirty minutes ago,” You sputtered, chuckling in self-disdain.

“Hey, at least you can tell people you had the breakdown of the year,” He joked awkwardly but failed to make you laugh yet again.

“I’m sorry for all of this. I’m so dumb to pull you into this,”

“Don’t apologise for something that’s not your fault at all,”

“But it is. Everything always is,”

“Hey, look at me.” He inched closer but didn’t dare to initiate any contact in case you were uncomfortable.

You stared deep into his starlit orbs, blown away yet transfixed at their intensity.

“The universe has strange ways of bringing people together. This is just a strange way of the universe saying hey, you should make a new friend this year, why not start now? So don’t, and never blame yourself for inconveniencing people because it’s the last thing I’m feeling right now,”

“You give a very convincing argument,”

“I guess I am a very convincing person-?” He admitted, albeit confused.

The gentle buzz of the music in the radio came to a rolling stop as the host took over, starting the countdown for New Year's.

10

9

“Can I hug you?” You blurted it out so suddenly, even you were surprised by it.

8

7

“…Sure? If you’re comfortable with it,” He smiled, uncovering two dimples by his lips.

6

5

“I’m sorry, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, it’s just that you look really… hug-able right now,” You didn’t quite know how to phrase your thoughts any other way.

4

3

“Please stop apologising, I’m absolutely okay with you hugging me but if you keep apologising I might have to initiate the hug to stop you again,”

2

1

You didn’t need another signal before you closed the distance between the two of you and engulfed yourselves in a hug.

It was officially the cosiest hug you’d ever had in your life.

You were immediately assaulted with the smell of chocolate and vanilla as his red-white woolly sweater only added to the warmth of the blanket. His broad chest let you nuzzle into his body perfectly as he leaned his head gently over your shoulder and rested his hands on your waist.

“You smell like chocolate,”

“You’re welcome…?”

“Has anyone ever told you how cosy your hugs are?”

“I’m pretty sure you’re the first one actually,”

“Well, they are,”

“Good to know,”

“I think I'm going into overdrive,”

“Well- do I- do you want something- I don't know what to say-?”

“I should probably stop before it gets too warm,”

“Yeah,”

“I’m kinda stuck-“

“Where-?”

“That sounds concerningly wrong,”

“I just realised that, yeah,”

“I think your earring’s in my hair,”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,”

“I’d consider this a good start to my New Year.”

The End.

⥃Stray Kids Masterlist

© starchxn 2021. do not repost, modify, or translate.

[jadenvargen]

Idk if youve made a post like this but any m4m animes/mangas you recommend? Im trying to find stuff thats not overly romance focused or like. Idol groupey?? Like ikemen. Also watched kaiji because I saw your art and my soul hurts from the first arc alone

IM SORRY FOR THAT KAIJI IS SO MUCH uhm... i think i know what you mean? i don’t read too many gay manga( bcs i have hard time finding ones i like also😭) but there’s some i really recommend! Been a while since I read some of these so I’ll try my best to warn but I might have forgotten something ;; ! anyway I have a few to reccomend!

Shimanami Tasogare

you’ve probably heard of it, it gets recced a lot, but it’s for a reason. It weaves an expert narrative, focusing on a small community of LGBT+ (an older gay man, a pair of lesbian wives, a transgender bicyclist, the mysterious agender leader, and a young child who’s unsure of their gender identity and presentation) people and how they navigate the world. Its POV character is a young closeted gay man struggling with self acceptance, and finds family and love within this group. 

warnings:

Homophobia, Bullying, Transphobia as central and constant, but also mentioned suicidal ideation, pedophilia, parental abuse, as well as cancer.

What did you eat yesterday?

If you’re not much for romance, this one’s definitely for you! Not to say the romance isn’t there- it’s just very casual. A fun and honest tale about a gay odd couple and their day to day struggles, from light to major, told with the help of food recipes that they eat for dinner every day. Very comfy. Also has a delightful live action show!

warnings: Homophobia, grindr-esque fatphobia at times, domestic abuse(one of the men is a lawyer and deals with lots of types of cases), and the biggest one would be a bad bit in Chapter 2 where a woman thinks our protagonist is going to assault her while he thinks she may be homophobic. I would honestly skip this chapter. 

Hare no Hi

A one-shot about a gay divorced dad learning his son is gay too, and struggling to know how to help him. Since it’s so short, I won’t say more but I think it’s really amazing!

warnings:

the son has a crush on the dad’s friend, who’s an adult. this isn’t encouraged by him or anything(in fact explicitly rejected) but warning just to be safe!

I hear the sunspot/ Hidamari ga Kikoeru

A HoH university student recruits the help of a go-getter shonen protag classmate to take notes, and their friendship and feelings for each other develop along the way. It’s more about the HoH guy’s struggles to fit in and what to do in life, and how to fit in a relationship in all that. I’m not HoH myself, so while I cannot definitely decide if it’s perfect representation by any means, I think the story and characters are very real and wonderful to follow. 

(The reading order is all out of whack for a lot of chapters uploaded though so I’d reccommend checking a read order thing before starting lol...Also, the last chapter is gone from most scan sites for some reasons, but just searching “chapter 29″ should lead to plenty of downloads.)

warnings: ableism, bullying

Blue flag:

Not my personal favourite, but a lot of people swear by it! Different strokes, so it might be for you. Basically: Boy likes Girl, who Likes Boy’s friend, who Likes Boy, then other complicated factors start to enter the picture. It’s a sort of relationship drama between every character in their large friend group. 

warnings: homophobia, bullying, sexual assault mention, i think i remember some weird homophobic rhetoric that was like endorsed but maybe i’m mixing things up, katy perry and taylor swift pro gay mixtape.

not a lot because i’m kind of picky and i tend not to like a lot of what i read ;_; a lot of gay stuff is just bad yaoi, hard bara which is fine but not like.. a story lol. or like.. super focused on highschoolers and i don’t care for that. some general lgbt manga i’d reccomend other would be: 

double house (character study of trans woman cis woman roomates.. and then more:) ) 

i wanna be your girl!(cis girl in love with her real girl childhood friend but struggling if these feelings mean she’s invalidating her gender but Actually she’s just bi... the t girl is straight though so be warned.) 

Ohana Holoholo (2 ex girlfriends become roommates to raise the child of one of them, and rediscover old feelings along the way.)

Koi Ga Ochitara is explicit, 18+ but if you’re an adult gay man it is. Somehow very touching and relatable.

[bedeion-legion]

alright gays, its headcanon time

Gladion (note, im going off of anime gladion and not game gladion) - Asexual/Homoromantic - Trans FTM, who tf names their kid “Gladion”. im a trans guy, i can spot a trans name for miles - that red bit on his hoodie? its his red chest binder, ofc - His bangs are so whack because he had to cut his own hair, the more shaved bits of his hair are because he messed up and shaved off too much on the side and decided to just roll with it - He’s probably around 15 years old from my calculations - *slaps back of head* this bad boy can fit so many mental health problems and trauma (def has anxiety, depression, and insomnia at the very least) - absolutely helps Lillie braid her hair - he gave Lillie all his girly clothes, including the hat that Lillie wears all the time - He doesn’t usually show it around other people, but he has a strong love for pokemon and cares for them a lot. If he was by himself and a snom happily wriggled up to him, he would probably sob profusely while holding it - While he can be scary as hell and could absolutely beat the shit out of you, he’s secretly a lot softer than he likes to admit. He cares a lot for the people he’s comfortable around and would absolutely pick a fight for them - He really doesn’t like taking his hoodie off, even in the hot and humid Alola air. How he hasn’t died of heat stroke is a wonder - He’s incredibly smart and can quickly learn things, but guys, he hasn’t been in school for like an entire year. He’ll be able to debate complicated philosophical and social problems but ask him how to calculate the area of a sector and his brain completely breaks Bede - Asexual/Panromantic - Trans FTM but i think we all knew that one lmao, bro out here wearing the trans flag - Opal helped him feel more confident in his gender identity - He’s definitely way more thankful for Opal taking him in than he says. He may complain about her but he can’t help but thank her for actually being a good parental figure in his life IM LOOKING AT YOU, ROSE- - Gender norms are dead, Bede killed them - Hes probably a twitch streamer tbh - He has a snom that he doesn’t use in battle and instead just lets roam around the house. Its name is Snowcone (Whenever Gladion visits Bede, he usually steals Snowcone by placing it on his head. He’ll just keep it there until Bede walks into his room looking for Snowcone) - His hair is EXTREMELY soft, like a wooloo. Gladion likes to use Bede’s head as a pillow and Bede just has to deal with it - Every Saturday, all the teen Galarian gym leaders get together to go get boba and spill tea. Bede will occasionally drag Gladion along if Gladion is visiting Galar - He definitely says he’s a lot smarter than he actually is, but he’s still very smart. He’s pretty good at assessing situations and problem solving, which ironically he uses to piss people off Bedeion (Bede x Gladion) - Everyone thought that their competitive and rude exteriors would clash way too much between each other for them to get along, but plot twist! Because their trauma and personalities are so similar, they actually understand each other a LOT on an emotional level and get along really well. It still takes a while for them to gain trust in each other, of course, but they never have trouble getting along. Hell, I’d think it would be incredibly rare for them to fight about anything, even less anything serious - Bede was absolutely the first one to say that he had a crush on the other. Gladion would be internally panicking WAY too much to be able to say anything first - INDEPENDENCY IN RELATIONSHIPS ARE IMPORTANT AND WE SUPPORT THIS IN THIS HOUSEHOLD. while these two absolutely would be affectionate to each other after they gain trust in each other, they’re both different people!!!! with different lives!!!! they’re able to still do their own thing while loving and supporting each other!!!! - if they ever battled against each other in the Galar gym challenge, you better believe that it’ll be the most intense pokemon battle Galar has ever seen and property damage is inevitable. They cheer for each other when the other matches go down but as soon as they’re put against each other, their competitiveness activates and they can and will murder each other (affectionate) - Whenever they’re not visiting each other, they try and video-chat each other very often, usually at the end of the day

[weeb-writor]

Bittersweet Arguments

Heyo! Today I have a Cove x Reader! He is from a visual novel called Our Life: Beginning and always. Its available on Steam and itch.io for free! But I do encourage you all to get the dlc is it is more than worth it. It is inclusive of all race, sexual orientation and pronouns/gender. Also all the characters are just amazing and loveable. I could go on and on about this game but let me shut up so you all can read^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cove Holden x GN!Reader

You and cove get into a bad argument and picking up the pieces is hard.

Word Count: 2.4k(not beta read)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Cove hasn't talked to you…yeah I’m just worried, they haven't gone more than a week without speaking since they met. They’re going on week 3 soon… yeah I know… yeah… alright I let you know what I can find out.” Ma said, hanging up with a sigh. You rounded the corner glancing at her as you plopped down on the sofa.

“We're not 8 any more, you don't have to call Cliff anytime we get in a fight.” you said with a chuckle.

“Honey, that's the thing, you and cove have never fought. We called about Lizzie plenty of times but you… it's just parents being parents. We're just worried.” She said stroking your hair. You grasped her hand and gave it a squeeze before you got up.

“Don’t be.” You said as you went up to your room. Well you were packing so really it was just a room with a bed. You plopped down face first into it. You just laid there mind racing a mile a minute. The fight, the disagreements, the tears played over and over again. It was simple at first and then it wasn't. Then it was yelling, arms flailing, and angry tears. What would happen next? It was a fear you thought that was already put to rest but it came again, and again, and again. Each time it was more and more muddled. What would happen to you both? How would long distance work? Were you supposed to tell your parents about your engagement? Who would come visit who? How often? No matter what question it was, the answer always resulted in more questions. 

To you it was like Cove didn't trust you, like he didn't believe you loved him enough to do anything to make it work. For Cove you were… well you don't know. He was silent about the issue of the future. It was like you were discussing it with yourself as if there isn't another person in the relationship. It was frustrating, it made you angry at him and at yourself for being angry at him. You grabbed your pillow which had become a bucket for your tears and you cried and screamed into it. Over time your tears and screams died down and you drifted into not a peaceful sleep but a painful one. When you woke up you stumbled down stairs in a trance and nearly rounded the corner before you heard it. You stopped in your tracks immediately and sunk to the floor. It was him, your love, the neighborhood boy, Cove Holden.

“How are they?” He spoke quietly.

“I can't lie to you and say they're fine but they are resting right now.” Mom said with a sigh.

“Tha… T-That’s fine but what about eating, drinking, packing, and leaving the house?” He stuttered nervously. You wanted to laugh. It was so Cove to still be nervous talking to someone he knew essentially his whole life.

“Yes, of course. We’ve made sure, nothing to worry about.” At that you heard a sigh of relief come from the green haired boy.

“Okay, okay good. Um could you just let me know if they need anything.” His voice was shaky like he wanted to cry.

“They need you, kid.” Your mom said slowly. There was a long silence at this. Was it actually long or were you just anxious you weren’t sure.

“...I need them more.” He said in a barely intelligible whisper. Goodbyes were said and stayed on the floor even as you heard mom coming your way. When she was in your sight her eyes widened but more in worry than surprised. You tilted your head at her and that’s when you felt it. Tears were cascading from your eyes. You wiped them away in surprise and rose to your feet.

“Im fine.” You said before jogging to your room where you curled into a ball as if to shield you from the impending doom. From this position you watched the sunset and the moon rise, almost unblinking. You felt tears soak your pillow, you had begun crying without realizing again.

This couldn't go on, you had to talk to Cove.

Muscle memory had kicked in from the one time you had snuck into Cove’s room and boom. You were sitting on his bedside stroking his hair as he slept. Just like you it seemed his sleep was anything but peaceful. His brow was creased and you couldn’t help but thumb along it prompting him to wake up. His eyes shot open and he blinked a while before he sighed. 

“Are you gonna be a dream or a nightmare.” he said softly.

“I'm in your nightmares?” You said glancing to the side. At this he shot up. Tears pulled in his eyes as he held his hand out to you. As soon as his fingers brushed your face he let out a quiet sob.

“So dream or nightmare then?” You said with watery eyes.

“An absolute dream.” He said with a firmness in him that was rare.

“Cove I don't want to talk about it right now, can we sleep...together.”

“Yes!” he shouted quietly, immediately making space for you under his blankets. You moved with equal amount of eagerness and soon for the first time in a while you felt truly at peace.

“Can...can I hold you.” You didn't say anything to his request, just moved closer and grabbed onto his nightshirt. Instantly you both fall into a deep peaceful sleep.

“Hey kid, I wanna talk…” Cliff trailed off awkwardly as he locked eyes with you. Cove was fast asleep, head in your lap and arms squeezing you. You smiled and put your finger to your lips. Cliff got the signal and walked out with a smile. Cove slept for 30 minutes more before his icy blue eyes met yours.

“Uh, wanna eat? I got all the ingredients for…” he didn’t need to finish the red flush of his face said enough. He was eating your favorite and you were eating his. You let off a quiet laugh.

“I’m feeling more peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwiches. Maybe some fruit.” You smiled down at him. His eyes lit up and you were dragged into the kitchen and now you both were about done making the sandwiches.

“What are you glaring at my sandwiches for?” You jokingly accused him.

“There isn’t enough honey on it, honey.” He said poking your forehead. You laughed and he laughed and then you both went to sit at the table. Mr. Holden was there too and made moves to get up but was stopped by the both of you shouting no. Awkwardly he sat back down.

“So, how’s packing coming? Coves been putting it off, so much.” He asked you gently.

“I’m pretty much done! Nothing in my room but a bed now.” You said with a smile.

“That’s great, still planning on leaving for college?” He asked with caution.

“Yeah, that’s the plan. I’m going to miss having you around.” You said with a small smile. The impromptu breakfast was over soon after this and you were left alone with cove again. Questions about the future loomed over you and this time you were going to get answers.

“Can... we talk?” You said staring at him with determination.

“Yes..” he trailed off

“No Cove, can we really talk? Like talk things out, like argue and come to a consensus.”

“Yes but I just don’t... want us to fight” he said playing with his hands.

“Arguments are normal cove, hell they’re healthy even. The unhealthy part is what you do during the argument and what you do after. Of course, we could try just talking first.” You smiled at him hoping to ease his nervousness.

“So you mean to say storming off to your son's room and pacing isn't a healthy way of closing an argument?” He said with a joking tone.

“Well if we ever get to the talk about the future, maybe one day you could see just how healthy it is…” You trailed off looking at him hopefully. Cove let out one of his cute squeaks as he flushed red. He raked his fingers through his hair before he grabbed your hand and pulled you to the sofa.

“Let's… talk then.” he said, glancing at you and then away.

“Alright, Cove, I'm going far away. What you are asking to do is impractical, I'm asking you not to do it.” You said seriously.

“It's 36 hours by car on the fastest route and 3 hours and 29 minutes by plane, it's not impractical, it's totally possible.” He said with unusually fierce eyes.

“Sure but you want to do it every two weeks, twice a month! It's not safe for you to drive that long. Think of the money it’ll cost to fly or put gas in your car. Also you'll have your own bills now, your own place. It's not all that possible.” You spoke firmly.

“Doesn't matter… i'll make it possible and safe. If I need to, I'll stay with my dad for a while. Moving out isn’t that big of a deal” He said not backing down

“No Cove, do you hear yourself? You’ve wanted to move out and be in your own place for a while. What happened to the boy who wanted to do everything the way he wanted without listening to set rules or a predetermined plan?”

“This isn't someone's predetermined plan for me, it's what I want.”

“What about what I want?” you said softly

“Is what you want… not to be around me? Or am I too.. too clingy for you? Cause if so I promise I won't intrude too much.. And I’ll give you space-”

“No! Its nothing like that! You are never gonna be too clingy for me, you could get clinger if you wanted. I just want you to be safe, okay?” You said cutting that thought off immediately

“I promise I will be then.” He said hesitantly.

“Baby, the whole action of it isn't safe physically or financially for either of us right now. I'm not saying you can't come but what about once every month or even better ill come back here every break I have. They aren't frequent but I'd be with you for a while.”

“It's not enough!” He said, raising his voice at you. It's the first time he’d ever done it but you didn't respond, you just blinked at him and waited for him to continue.

“I need to see you more than that.. I just have to.” He said, looking away from you.

“Why? We’ve spent weeks apart before. Every summer you leave and we come out of it fine, it's the same.”

“No its not the same, at all.” He spoke firmly as his eyes got misty but he pressed on. “When I went with my mom I knew where you were, what you were most likely doing. It was routine, sunset bird is our place. Even if something new comes along I'm never out of the loop… but when you leave you’ll be in a new place with different people and new things you can experience. You’ll be in a place with all four seasons, they get snow! I won't know what you're doing any more and we might not even be on the same wavelength any more. You’ll make new friends and meet people who won't be afraid to lay in bed with you or stutter a lot or make weird noises. You’ll be changing and I’ll still be the same 8 year old cry baby you met on the poppy hill… you’ll leave and then you’ll disappear.” He said scrubbing at his tears. You stared at him before you started to laugh. You laughed so hard you started to cry.

“Let me get this straight, you want to come visit me so often because you're afraid I'll become this social butterfly and find better people than you, Miranda, and Terri? Me?” You were overcome with laughter again and paused to catch your breath. “I’m overly honest, pushy, a little demanding, and have “strange” interests. When have you ever known me to be easy to make friends with or be sociable with any other than you? You know I knew I was gonna marry you from the moment I laid eyes on you at the ripe age of 8? I wish some dumb college kid would try to change my plans i’d kill them… nothing is gonna take me away from you and I will always come home. Home, cove holden, is wherever you are.” Cove was hugging you in a second crying into your neck.

“I quite like your squeaks and weird noises by the way.” You could feel his face heat up in your neck as he laughed.

“Every break?”

“Every break longer than 2 days.”

“At my place… the whole time?”

“Duh I said I was going home.”

“Alright then, we agree. I want to come spend a break with you though, want to see your place.” He said squeezing you tighter.

“Of course… Also one last thing we need to put to bed.” Cove let out a groan at your words.

“Nothing bad at all. Just this.” You reached into your back pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. You handed it to cove as his eyes watered again.

“I know I already proposed but I wanted to get you something regardless. Its also so all these single people keep their grubby little paws off my love.” He blushed at you and whispered your name the way he always did when he was feeling embarrassed or overwhelmed. He opened it as tears fell down his face.

“Theres two?” 

“Yeah look at the inside of the bands.” Each one was engraved with your respective nicknames for each other.

“Were engaged we minus well look the part. This way everybody at my college knows I managed to lockdown the most amazing guy to ever grace sunset bird.” You said kissing his nose. He wasted no time putting his on and handing you yours.

“I love you.” He said, eyes no longer misty.

“I love you so much, Cove.” You echoed his sentiment.

“Wanna go to our hill, we have a lot to make up for. I’ve missed you so much.” He said, grabbing your hand. You nodded and you both turned to leave. You both quickly made eye contact with Clifford Holden who was misty eyed. You gathered he had been there for a while.

“Sho...Should I pretend i didn't just see or hear that as well?” He said his hand on his neck.