#personally prior to this. this isn't something i would normally write about

[hpgal]

DC X DP Ghost Dog

CW: Blood, Violence

TLDR: Jason is fighting a losing battle against a new opponent he is having trouble hitting. This leads to him being chased and running into Danny whose chilling in an alley.

Word Count: 1326

a/n: Might write more where more Batfam encounter Danny and Danny's perspective, may even rewriting the ending of this. I got the idea from a prompt someone posted here on Tumblr and I forgot to save it but I'd love to tag them if anyone can help me find them! The prompt was something along the lines of Danny will randomly appear in alleys with items that the person needs exactly to solve a problem they were having.

Jason emptied his clip a long while ago and was now being chased through Crime Alley by some sort of dog. It was big. If was angry and it was... green?

The bullets did nothing to it but aggravated the thing and so it chased him. His comms weren't working to call for backup and he was getting tired. It's been 15 minutes of running and that was before you add on he was trying to fight the thing prior and he was now injured after taking a hit meant for a civilian.

He jumped off the rooftop, stumbling. Instead of catching the opposite ledge he plummeted to the ground. A dumpster broke his fall. But damn did it hurt, especially with a prexisting slash of claws on his side. He was still human after all. He had some time but he did not want to waste a single second before it could catch back up to him. So, begrudgingly and in pain, Jason pushed himself back up and out the dumpster.

"Great I'm going to smell like rotten fish for a week" he muttered to no one in particular as he brushed garbage off him.

Before he could formulate a game plan, his thought process froze. He looked up in confusion and blinked. Then blinked again as he stared at what he saw.

A kid with black hair and looked incredibly scrawny sat on a stoll behind a table with a sign "Clockworks Goods and Services!" The kid seemed unbothered with headphones on and eyes closed as he leaned back against the wall of the alley.

Hell the kid almost looked like Damian. If he has blue eyes he'd be a perfect candidate for a Bruce adoption. But why was a kid here.. selling his services?

Jason takes a moment to listen out and notice it is oddly quiet which meant the green dog must not be close yet so he takes advantage of the situation to figure out what the hell is going on here. He takes a step forward and looks at the contents on the table. It was empty except for a single bell with faded writing saying "ring me!" And so he did.

The kid opens his eyes with a start. They were piercing blue. Oh Bruce would fall for this kid instantly, he thinks to himself.

"Oh evening!" The kid starts as he stands up stretching as he removes his headphones from his head. "It looks like you're in need of my services. What is your problem today?"

The kid was so nonchalant as he spoke and moved around. The kid glanced at the table and furrowed his brow. "My names Danny by the way" he quickly adds on.

Jason stares at Danny through his mask perplexed. Something about this didn't sit right with him. It was late at night and Danny was hanging out in an alleyway selling services yet he looked not a day over 15.

But something drives him to answer Danny's question and answer it truthfully, "I'm fighting something and none of my attacks are working on it but it's causing destruction and hurting the people of Crime Alley. It even managed to injure me"

As soon as he says it, he wants to smack himself. Why would he need to tell the kid that? He shoyld be telling him to grt out of here, that it isn't safe.

Danny however shrugs like this was normal for him and looks down at the table again. The plastic folding tables surface remained empty except for the bell but Danny seems confused at this.

"Huh usually it appears when you say it." Danny mutters and proceeds to look under the table then behind him.

Jason however is further confused and raises a hand to his helmet to try his comms again. Unsurprisingly he hears only static. What he does hear instead of his families voices, is the barking of a dog in the distance and something crashing.

Aw shit.

Jason looks up then towards the entrance of the alley with a sigh, "Look, kid, I'm going to circle back to you and your... weirdness later, for now, you need to find somewhere safe while I deal with an abnormally large and green dog."

This seems to catch Danny's attention as he jerks back upright and looks at me. He stares, and I see the wheels in his head turn. He sighs, and his shoulders slump inwards.

"I get it now. I'm the service you need" Danny rolls his shoulders back and steps out from behind the table, heading to the entrance of the alley.

"Woah kid stay back! It's dangerous!" Jason calls out behind him as he jogs to catch up, only slightly twitching in pain as he moves. The kid was incredibly fast for someone who looked malnourished.

As soon as Jason reaches the street, he turns to see where the kid had gone. His eyes widened at the sight of Danny walking like it was just another day towards the rampaging dog.

Danny stops just out of reach of the green dog and whistles two quick notes. The dog pauses and looks towards Danny, its fast twisting from one of anger to excitement as evident with its tail wagging.

“Cujo!” Danny yells, “Bad dog! Drop the car!” the dog whines and drops the car it had in its mouth with a loud thud.

The dog, Jason now knows as Cujo, gets low to the ground and its ears press against its head like any dogs would when they are embarrassed or know they’ve been caught doing something they weren’t supposed too.

“Come here boy! It’s time to take you home!” Danny calls out to it, producing a glowing green dog treat from his pockets.

Jason just watches the entire encounter unfold, gobsmacked. He doesn’t know what to think of it. He couldn’t believe his luck. It was that simple. Who is this kid? As Jason continues to watch his jaw drops to the floor at what happens next.

The dog starts shrinking until it is ithe size of a puppy and comes bounding up to Danny with little playful barks. Danny scoops Cujo up with a sigh and scratches Cujos head right behind his ears.

Danny turns to look towards me, the street where Cujo came from a mess. He gives a sheepish smile and wave, “Sorry about that! I didn’t think Cujo followed me today! I’ll speak to my dog sitter about watching him more carefully next time!”

Danny turns back towards the chaos Cujo created on the street and glances at his watch. “Well, it’s time for me to clock out. I’ll send someone to clean up the mess! Sorry again!” Danny pauses for a moment as he glances once more at Jason, squinting.

A green glowing portal opens up behind Danny and he looks between Jason and the portal. He sets Cujo down and directs him to go through the portal. Danny jogs over to Jason, digging through his pockets.

“Oh sorry you’re hurt and sick. Probably my fault honestly. Here.” Danny shoves something into Jason's hands before he can protest, dumbfounded by what just happened, “That should get rid of the tainted Lazarus Waters in your soul and let your injury heal up like normal. Sorry again!”

Jason just stares before finally getting his bearings again, “Who the hell are you?!”

Danny just laughs, “I’m just your friendly neighborhood ghost.” and with that Danny leaves through the portal, it closing behind him leaving destruction and a baffled Jason in the street.

Like Danny promised, not even a few minutes later, another portal opened up in the streets of Crime Alley, spilling out dozens of glowing green people, who Jason started to believe were really ghosts. The ghosts got to work and by morning, it was like nothing happened.

At the next family dinner, no one believed Jason of what happened that night.

-----

a/n: I feel like we don't see Cujo enough in fics. I mean come on, a ghost dog? How cool is that?!?! I love Cujo <3 And we all know how much Cujo loves Danny!

[nexysworld]

Dead Dove, Content Entitlement, and Fandoms

There's been no end of posts clogging up popular fandom tags with arguments and opinions on dark content, dead dove, and related things. While I've seen some decent posts that go over media literacy and dark content, I personally feel like none fully encompass my entire feelings on this nor provide all the points that I feel are important.

I know people have strong feelings on this subject, and I'm not expecting to immediately change anyone's minds. But I hope maybe I can toss some food for thought out there, or provide further context from both a victim of SA as well as a content creator. This has been bothering me for a while now to the point where it has been making me no longer want to write or engage in fandoms on Tumblr, and so I needed to get this out there with my stance. I've also had people in my inbox stating that my dark content is somehow morally better than other writer's dark content. TW: Mentions of dark content including discussions of noncon/dubcon, harassment, SA, etc.

Addressing Common Points

If you write or consume [INSERT CONTENT], you're romanticizing and endorsing it and that makes you a bad person. Or, you're weird/wrong/gross for it. I see this brought up primarily with dubcon/noncon topics. It should go without saying, but fiction is fantasy, it's separate from real life. Adults who consume this type of content understand that these things are NOT ok in real life. But to take it a step further, I want to stress that having noncon fantasies is actually INCREDIBLY common. In studies regarding these fantasies, nearly 50% or more of people who participated admitted to having fantasies that align with these topics the majority of which are women. Not only that but these kinds of fantasies are even more common in people who have been victims of these crimes. This isn't some niche thing only liked by a minority of people. If you don't believe me here's an example of ONE study, but there's plenty of easily accessible information out there. By conflating consuming/writing this content with someone's moral character stigmatizes these feelings further and does more harm than good. And I know what you're thinking though. But why? Why would someone who's gone through something like that fantasize about something so awful? Why is this appealing to anyone, victims or not? Fiction creates a safe space to explore topics. In fiction there are no real victims, no one is actually getting hurt, it's all fake. The characters aren't real and if at any point as the reader you are too uncomfortable to continue, you can stop and exit. You can like the idea of a fictional person tossing you around, while also feeling uncomfortable if a real life man tried to pick you up a the bar or didn't take no for an answer. There's also "normal" things you can fantasize about, but not want to participate in IRL.

Hypocrisy and what is considered dark content? This won't apply to everyone, but I've seen a number of people who claim to be anti-dark content but reblog things that are non consensual, perhaps without realizing it. And this is especially true for those who are younger on here. Please understand that noncon/dubcon does not inherently need to be violent or gory. Any situation in which there's a lack of consent or a power imbalance is inappropriate. Somno fics? If it's not explicitly stated that it was agreed upon prior in the fic, that is still non consensual even if it's written to be "sweet.", even if it's a pre-established relationship. Professor x student fics? There's power imbalance there. There's a reason you cannot have a relationship with your teachers in real life. Hybrid fics? Most people write hybrids as completely sentient people who are treated as sex slaves. They have little choice or are "following instinct." You cannot consent to someone who literally OWNS you after adopting you. You get the gist. There's far more to consent than physically manhandling someone. Yet because these things are written in a way that contextualizes them as being "sweet" and "normal", they aren't considered dark content by many people. If you're ok with the above, you have to understand that these ARE forms of dubcon/noncon. I would even argue that these are more romanticizing of these topics than stuff that's far more explicit in nature. If you would be pissed if your IRL partner tried to feel you up in your sleep, but enjoy somno fics, or enjoy the Taboo of Professor Leon, but wouldn't fuck your actual college professor - then that is the EXACT way in which people who enjoy even "darker" content can enjoy the fiction whilst not partaking in real life.

It sets a bad example for younger people on the website/"protect the children." Children shouldn't be looking at smut in general, dark content, vanilla content, etc. I don't know what else to tell you. It is NOT the job of content creators to try and police what teenagers do on the internet, that's between them and their parents. The majority of creators who make 18+ content explicitly state MDNI and block those younger than 18 if we discover them trying to interact with us. That is the most that we can and should be expected to do.

[INSERT CHARACTER] would NEVER act like that, it irritates me when people write them as OOC. Fanfiction is by definition NON canon. The only people who truly know how a character is supposed to act are the people who created those characters. But I want to add on to this, there are plenty of times in which a character acts entirely OOC even in fluffy or vanilla fanfiction. Every writer is going to have a different interpretation of how a character acts or thinks - and yet it's only really complained about when it's dark content. These characters are not real. Leon cannot be upset or hurt by people writing dark content about him, because he doesn't exist. Part of the fun of fanfiction, at least in my opinion as well, is justifying certain things within the context. Many dark content writers will and do explain why the character became how they are or why they think that way using canon as context - not that I think it's required because fanfiction can be whatever you want it to. The point is, dark content or not, not everyone will be on the same wavelength as you about your favorite character.

Even if you're a victim of SA or other crimes, you should get professional help, not read dark content. This is a very bad take in my opinion. Mental health care can be incredibly hard to get. Reading fanfiction is free, it's harmless. But genuinely, imagine you're a victim of a heinous crime, and you're already struggling with feelings regarding it - to then be mobbed by people online telling you that you're weird and wrong for having the feelings that you do? This is also in league with my first point, but having these feelings are actually VERY normal. This is a healthy way to process the emotions in a safe environment where no real person gets hurt, where you can leave whenever you want. Stigmatizing these things does hurt real people though.

You're hurting other people who're victims of these things. Look, if a fic is not properly TW then I fully understand. Every victim will have a different experience, and while some may be ok with dark content, others won't. So if you open a fic expecting it to be one thing and it's another, that's shitty. But tags are there for a reason. If you see something marked Noncon, and that's triggering for you, no one is expecting you to read it. And here's the thing with tags/tw's as well, everyone's trauma is different. Something that one person might not consider dark content, or is generally considered innocuous might trigger someone else. If you are one of those people who think even seeing the trigger warning could be harmful to people, then that's a prime example of WHY you must curate your own experience online. Block certain words, tags, and phrases to make sure you don't see them. But that's on YOU to do, not people who create content. Their only responsibility is to warn you about the contents of the content they've made, their responsibility stops beyond that point. You know what DOES affect real people besides the stigmatization of their feelings or kinks? Harassing them. Leaving hate comments, telling people to unalive themselves. These affect the mental health of the real people behind the content that you don't like. I've seen death and rape threats SENT to dark content writers.

Dark content in other forms of media. It's interesting to me that the majority of discussion around dark content comes from people criticizing fanfiction specifically. Take horror movies for example. The Saw Franchise, we'll say. Do you think the creators of that series want to enact those horrible things onto other people? Do you think they want to be the victims of Jigsaw themselves? What about people who watch content like that? You probably don't think that they do. There's TONS of movies, music videos, even horror novels that have incredibly, and I mean INCREDIBLY dark dead dove content - and yet most people understand that the appeal is in the taboo. That it's fiction. That people who consume THOSE forms of media don't want to participate in those things but do enjoy consuming that content. But when it's fanfiction it somehow becomes a problem.

Entitlement and demand of fandom content. In addition to all of the above, there is a major uptick in people complaining about the content within fandoms some not even relating to dark content. "There's too many stories where reader acts like X." "I hate how so many people characterize this person because that's now how they would act!" "Why is there so much smut? Why can't there be more of {insert what I want}". This is FREE content made by people who do this stuff as a hobby. No one owes you content, and no one HAS to write the way you want them too. If there's tons of content like that, then it's because it's popular. Perhaps your version of a character is in the minority opinion, and that's completely ok!

What's the solution to all of this discourse?

Be the change you want to see! If you feel like there's too many x reader fics where the reader doesn't act how you want - then write it the way you want. Do you have head canons about a series or character that you haven't seen discussed before? Make that post yourself! If you don't feel there's enough fluff in the fandom - then create some! And if you don't want to make content yourself - request it, commission it. Interact with your favorite writers! Encourage them, don't demand. Talk with them about their work, leave comments, and reblog, reblog, reblog!! Being a part of the discussion and interaction is the BEST way to help the community thrive. Surround yourself with the content that YOU want, curate YOUR experience. Block every dark content writer you see if it helps. Go into your Tumblr settings, block words, block tags. Don't set yourself up to be upset or bothered by the content you're getting. Even if you read the above and you still think every dark content writer is a horrendous, awful person - the best thing to do is still block them. Block their content. Harassing them and complaining on it will NOT stop that content from existing. But you will continue to upset yourself by not curating your own experience.

~~~~~~~~

If you made it through all that, thank you for reading. I want to add that my blog WILL continue in the future to have a mix of both dead dove and regular content. I also interact with other dark content blogs, so if you're someone who followed me because of my "regular" fics and want to unfollow/block me, I'm ok with that. <3

[happyhauntt]

a lack of caffeine — spencer reid.

writing masterlist | askbox

─── summary: caffeine makes the world go 'round. that's something you and spencer can agree on.

─── pairing: spencer reid x autistic!medical examiner!reader.

─── warnings: fluff, reader is autistic & a mom, spencer's iq gets slashed to sixty when he talks to pretty girls and it's my favourite thing. no use of y/n. swearing. i really fucking struggled with this it's so boring. thank you to everyone who requested a part 2!

─── word count: 1.8k.

     The call comes in at four in the morning.

     The screen reads three missed calls by the time its incessant buzzing rouses you from your slumber, and you pull it out from beneath your pillow. Squinting at the sudden brightness of it, an unlisted number stares back at you as your phone keeps vibrating insistently in your grip.

     When you finally wake up enough to realise it could be work, you answer it. Agent Hotchner's familiar voice is stern and low and only a little apologetic as he informs you that you're going to be required in the field for a new case, and you should be at the airfield within the hour.

     There isn't enough time to ask any questions before the line clicks, and you're left blinking into the dim light of your bedroom as you try to gather your bearings.

     Sleep itches at the corners of your eyes, all gritty and blurry, and though part of your mind recalls reading this little clause in the contract you’d signed, that constant availability takes on a whole new meaning when you work for the BAU, you still take a moment to fantasise about pushing Aaron Hotchner off a cliff.

     You’re not a morning person. And you would argue that 4AM isn’t even the morning, it’s the middle of the night, and why can’t serial killers do their business during normal business hours?

     A new case. Not your first case since joining the unit as their resident independent medical examiner, but the first where you would join the rest of the team in the field. The first where you'll be required to exert federal authority over county coroners, where you'll have to step on toes in order to get the job done.

     You know they won't take too well to an outsider coming in and derailing their whole thing. You know you wouldn't. You used to be one of them, not that long ago.

     Ah, shit. As the drowsiness begins to fade out of your body, a light panic trickles in. Your skin starts to buzz as if you put your finger into a live socket. You grip your phone so hard it leaves a mark on your palm.

     It takes ten minutes to get ready, stumbling around your room and shoving clothes into a bag. You don't really care about matching socks, but you count out your underwear three times and hope you won't run out before the case is done. Do they have laundries you'll be able to use? Have the other members of the BAU ever encountered this problem? Should you pack your hair straightener or is it really going to matter?

     When you've finally dragged a brush through your hair and dumped the last of your toiletries into a ziploc bag, a dull realisation strikes you.

     Jackie.

     Going toe-to-toe with a rabid raccoon might be more appealing than waking up your sister-in-law in the middle of the night, but you don't really have much choice. She has to know what's going on, she'll be in charge of your daughter for however long you'll be gone, and leaving a note on the kitchen counter feels like the wrong move to make in this instance.

     Is there a protocol for this? A single-parent handbook you can check out at the library? This is something you really should've talked about when you got the job, you know that. You'd known it would require you to travel on occasion, often without prior notice, but it hadn't seemed like a big deal at the time. You'd brushed it under the rug, labelled it to be discussed later as if you and Jackie have ever actually sat down and done that.

     A thousand things sit unsaid between you. That rug has got a little mountain under it by now, almost impossible to ignore. It’s really only a matter of time before you trip over it.

     “Jackie. Jackie.”

     Your sister-in-law grumbles when you sneak into her room and poke her, hard and repeatedly, until she threatens to bite you. The news of your leaving doesn't take her by surprise — exhaustion seems to dull the stung of it — and she promises to call twice a day, every day, before she buries her face back into the pillow and starts to snore like a lawnmower.

     You hope she never, ever changes.

     Pressing a kiss to your sleeping daughter's forehead is the last thing you do before you finally manage to drag yourself out of the apartment. A dull ache thuds in your chest, where your heart should be. She'd looked so peaceful, so sweet, and you can't recall a time since she was born that you'd been apart from her for longer than a day. Her bright, happy giggle and wide eyes flash through your mind.

     As your car peels out of the parking garage, you feel distinctly like a piece of laundry someone hung out to dry and then forgot about.

     The sun is just beginning to kiss the horizon as you pull up to the airfield. Long streaks of a pink-fingered dawn creep across the sky. You flash your identification at the security guard and pull up alongside the jet, scrambling to grab your bag from the passenger seat.

     It doesn't surprise you that you're the last to arrive, but you'd hoped that wouldn't be the case.

     The clock just strikes 5AM as you clatter up the steps, practically falling into the aircraft. Technically, you're on time, but it still feels like you're late for class and your teacher is about to put it on your permanent record. A kind-faced hostess greets you, offers to stow your bag, and you flash her a sheepish smile as you hand it over and pass through the curtains into the main cabin.

     "Holy shit."

     You can't help yourself. Every single member of the team turns to look at you, craning their necks to see exactly who they're dealing with, but you can't even bring yourself to care. "This is a jet. It's actually... a jet."

     You blink at the open space as your jaw goes a little slack. Do you sound a little insane? Sure, and ordinarily you'd feel self-conscious with several pairs of unfamiliar eyes gawking at you, analysing your every movement as if it's their job to do so — and it actually is — but this honestly insane.

     You had no idea the BAU had this kind of budget. Do they own the plane? Do they rent it? Is it publically funded by the taxpayer, and why can't they fly commercial? Like, you're not complaining at all, those leather seats look so comfortable, but why—?

     An austere voice says your name once, twice, and you blink, looking up to find the furrowed brow of your boss frowning at you down the aisle.

     "Take a seat, doctor, we're about to take off."

     His tone leaves no room for argument. A flush rises in your cheeks, and you manage to stammer out an apology before throwing yourself into the nearest available seat, buckling your seatbelt.

     "It's a good thing you're the M.E and not a profiler, sweetcheeks." One of the agents nearest to you leans across the aisle. A charming grin spreads over his face as he offers up his hand in greeting. "Derek Morgan."

     "Oh, I know," you reply, shaking his hand firmly. "I, uh, looked you guys up after Dr. Reid paid a visit to the underworld and I didn't recognise him. Figured I should be a little more familiar with the other members of my team."

     "The underworld?" A blonde woman you realise must be Agent Jareau gives you a friendly, if slightly confused, smile.

     You shrug, suddenly a little embarrassed. Group settings have never been your thing. Too many people, too many unfamiliar eyes, far too many voices clashing together until it all becomes a sensory nightmare.

     You much prefer your little lab, and one-on-one conversations, usually with the unlucky cadavers that find themselves on your slab. They never talk back.

     "It's just what I call the morgue," you tell her. A loose bit of skin hangs off the edge of your nail, and you really, really want to pick at it. Fatigue hovers at the edge of your consciousness, and as the plane engines begin to roar, you find yourself wishing you’d made a coffee before leaving the apartment.

     You would have been late, for sure, but life would feel worth living so, y’know. Swings and roundabouts.

     "In Greek mythology, the underworld is where an individual goes after death. Early ideas suggest that someone’s essence, their psyche, is separated from their corpse at the point of death and transported to the underworld. Accounts differ on whether any judgement occurs, depending on which scholarship you’re citing." A familiar voice pipes up from the back of the plane and you glance over. The rich brown eyes looking back fill you with an odd warmth.

     More at ease with a familiar face, you settle back in your seat and lift your hand in a lazy wave. "Good morning, Dr Reid. It's nice to see you when I'm not elbow-deep in someone's intestines."

     Agent Jareau wrinkles her nose. "Now I'm really glad I didn't have time for breakfast."

     Reid's ears turn bright pink and he looks away, stuttering out his reply. "It's good to see you too. Uh, well, not good, given the circumstances, since there's a serial killer on the loose, but good because—"

     "We get the picture, Reid," Agent Hotchner cuts him off, and Reid turns his gaze back to the small window, a little flustered. Hotch looks, bizarrely, like he's trying not to smile. "Welcome to the team. We'll go over the case details once we're in the air."

     “Is there coffee in the air?” There might be a murder mid-flight otherwise. Really, how do they function at this time in the morning? The plane judders as it rolls over the tarmac, heading for the runway. “Or tea, or soda, or— Honestly, I’ll take whatever. I just don’t want to fall asleep in a body cavity later on.”

     Again.

     Reid finds himself nodding, entirely against his will. There’s something about the peculiar medical examiner, something he can’t quite put his finger on, but it makes him want to keep talking. More than usual, at least.

     He wonders if there’s duct tape on board. Or a parachute.

     “There’s coffee,” he confirms. Is his voice a little high?

     “Dr. Reid, I could kiss you—”

     Oh, hell. Judging by the way Morgan has a hand pressed to his mouth, stifling an obscenely loud chuckle, Reid suspects he’s never going to hear the end of this.

[leewritestoomuch]

I've been so obsessed with Rock Lee for the last few months after getting into Naruto and I'm so glad someone's taking requests for my favourite ninja! If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to see you write Rock Lee helping reader stretch before a work out but since reader isn't really flexible or is just not all that active, they make a lot of, ahem, suggestive noises while stretching. Love your work, can't wait to see more!!

Rock Lee Helping Reader Stretch

Warnings: Suggestive, borderline NSFW. It’s implied.

Basically: You make noises while stretching that Rock Lee’s horny brain can’t ignore.

Recently, your joints and muscles have been killing you. Maybe your half ass stretching routine wasn’t doing the trick, you figured. Even though you knew change had to happen, you just didn’t know how to stretch your muscles out properly for the extensive training you do with Lee.

Usually he shows up earlier than you, so you don’t see him stretching, but you know he’s keen on making sure he stretches properly so he’s probably stretching for a while beforehand. So you decide to show up 40 minutes before you usually would, seeing him just now setting up to stretch and warmup.

He’d clearly been out jogging prior to this. And in your mind, you know he’s done a runners stretch so isn’t that enough? Why does he need to stretch again? (Him and Gai would both scream at you for this way of thinking)

“Hi Lee.” You greet him with a small smile, already exhausted from the training you haven’t even started just by looking at his energetic, muscular self. Somewhere in your mind, you’ve managed to convince yourself that you’re winded from the walk to the training grounds, and that Lee is not the reason your breath catches in your throat.

You’ve seen him like this for so long, I mean, you’re on the same team as him now. The only 4 person squad, 5 if you count Gai sensei. You’re so close to all of them, and that’s been normal. Perfectly normal. But recently, your eyes linger on Lee just a little too long.

“Oh hey y/n! I didn’t see you there!” He smiles, the white of his teeth flashing at you in the sun line. Sometimes you wonder how he’s so positive, but then again, you don’t mind it so much anymore. He literally glows though, you swear on it.

“Can I ask you a favor?” You ask, suddenly a little nervous. Your palms are sweating. You try to ignore that.

“Of course! What is it that you want to ask?” He asks, enthusiastically. His smile is almost infectious.

“My joints and muscles ‘n shit are killing me. Can you help me stretch? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong…” You move your neck like you’re trying to get out a knot or something.

Lee agrees, and decides to start simple. He has you put your arms behind your back, your hands joined together, and tells you to stretch them back as far as you can. Then do the same with the front.

After that, he has you do a similar thing with your hands joined over your head before moving down to the ground to stretch out your upper body best. Then your shoulders, elbows, and neck all separately. Then he has you get on the ground to stretch out your back.

And maybe he didn’t think too much about the position, but have you stretch your back up and lower yourself down also meant your ass was up in the air as you arched your back. You realize how embarassing the position is, and what you don’t notice is the way his cheeks flush and he pries his eyes away from your body.

“U-uh great! Let’s do legs!” He says rather quickly, helping you to get into as low of a splits position that you can, before having you lean forward. To get the best stretch, he pushes down on your body a tiny bit. And before you can stop yourself, you let out a moan.

His hands still against your back, and your eyes go wide as you freeze too. Soon you feel him move away, telling you to switch sides. And he repeats the same thing on this side. Much to your disdain, an even louder moan accidentally slips from your mouth. Curse yourself for not being able to be quiet at a time like this.

When you finally sit back up, he’s staring at you. You can’t help but gulp down any salvia you had in your mouth. Then you notice the way his hands are covering the front of his pants. When he notices where your eyes shifted, his blush intensifies and he starts stammering.

“I-I am so sorry! I didn’t mean— you were just—“ you cut his rambling off with a kiss, crawling over closer to him. You situate yourself on his lap, his hands darting out for your hips. The kiss doesn’t break until you’re both desperate for more air than you can get with your mouths connected. Before your mutual panting even halts, he smashes his lips back onto your desperately. And at this point, he’s boldly getting handsy.

You can feel the desperation and lust through his finger tips and they find their way around your body. Any curve, dip, anything, he feels for it. And soon he’s laying back on the grass, panting as a string of saliva connects the both of you even as you part.

The look in his eyes told you that what was about to happen at these training grounds should not happen at the training grounds. Your eyes told him you didn’t care the least about that, however.

[theerurishipper]

Anyway, I had a discussion a while back about how Adrien wasn't abused before Emilie's death and I gotta say I disagree, but I'm feeling too lazy to write a whole post about it so here are some bullet points.

Adrien has no friends except for Chloe. I wonder why the boy who is so desperate for emotional connections and friendships would not want to or try to make friends for 13 years except for one girl who is conveniently the daughter of the mayor of Paris unless his parents didn't let him.

Gabriel canonically only gave Adrien a stupid pen for three years (i.e. during the time Emilie was alive) and doesn't that paint a picture of a loving and attentive father. Adrien has also never had a birthday party before.

Adrien's lack of awareness of social cues doesn't make it seem like he is someone who was allowed to socialize like children normally are, and speaks to a lifelong isolation as opposed to it just starting after Emilie died.

Adrien doesn't act like someone who is used to unconditional love and had it stripped away from him. Never does he express confusion over his father's sudden turn from being loving to coldness, not once does he indicate that his father used to act way differently. And yes, Emilie being nice and loving is something that can coexist with her being a bad parent who at best simply allowed Gabriel to isolate Adrien from the world and at worst actively contributed. Adrien only ever mentions that she was nice, not that she ever disagreed with his father on how to raise him.

Please do correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think a child who is used to being assured of his own worth and loved so unconditionally for 13 years would so completely internalize the contradictory idea that he has to earn love by being whatever the other person wants him to be in the span of less than a year without any trouble and with no doubts or confusion at all as to why everything is so different from before. The practiced way he wears his masks around others without once suggesting that it was different before at some point indicates that this has been the norm for him. And not once does he seem to expect anything different from anyone as opposed to just Gabriel. You would expect that someone who is used to being unconditionally loved would just expect that and view his father as an exception to the rule, but that's not the case.

To continue from the previous point, Adrien doesn't react to being shown unconditional love like someone who has experienced the feeling before would. Not once does he bemoan the loss of his supposed better treatment prior to Emilie's death. He acts genuinely surprised and shocked when Gabriel is nice to him, like he's never experienced it before. The way he clings to Ladybug's unconditional support like it's the best thing he's ever had doesn't speak of someone who was raised with unconditional love in abundance. He genuinely does not know how to not put up a front all the time in front of everyone because he believes that is what everyone expects of him, which is something that he probably shouldn't think if he spent 13 years of his life being loved and supported unconditionally and being able to be himself.

As evidence for this being a lifelong thing and not just something that started after Emilie died, consider the fact that Adrien's childhood dream is to be whatever his parents wanted him to be. Idk about y'all but the fact that this child had no dreams and desires of his own except to be his parents' little doll says a lot about how he was raised, and only proves that he's never really seen himself as someone who gets to have his own desires outside of pleasing his parents and having to earn their love even as a child, proving my point that this isn't something that started less than a year ago.

No, but Wishmaker really did shit all over the "Adrien's life only became bad after Emilie's death" argument huh. I sincerely question why anyone thinks that Emilie wasn't abusive after watching that episode.

And idk, the fact that he was constantly mind-controlled by his parents his whole life should be enough to understand that they are abusive pieces of shit.

My impression is that it got worse after Emilie died but was pretty bad before already (I mean, I thought it couldn't get much worse than mind-control, but Gabriel the asshat managed to make it happen). But honestly, the show has such an inconsistent tone with their portrayal of Emilie. They seem to want her to be seen as a good and loving and perfect mother, but then there are so many unfortunate implications regarding her treatment of Adrien that they just... do not acknowledge.

[jacky-rubou]

Planning to write an essay on the limited Ford and Mabel bonding in the show and well, I thought of approaching you if you have any pointers. Especially dispelling any misconceptions by the fandom whether Ford overlooked Mabel or the bond she shared with her brother.

I think the main misconception I see is that Ford didn't care about Mabel at all in comparison to Dipper. Or, in some ridiculously extreme cases, that he hates her.

People forget that Mabel was the first twin he interacted with, and it was largely positive. Ford laughed and said he liked her when she stated that his six fingered handshake was one finger friendlier than normal.

The Last Mabelcorn being the episode where Ford interacted with Mabel the most gives a big insight into how he feels about her. First, he agreed with Mabel when she stated she was probably the most pure of heart in the room (i forget the exact phrasing but same difference). He trusted her with the unicorn mission, even knowing that the unicorns were difficult. And last of all, he directly tells her that she is a good person without even knowing the struggle she went through with her morality moments prior.

Dipper and Mabel vs The Future is contentious in this regard, fans often using it as proof that Ford doesn't care about Mabel just because he asked Dipper to stay in Gravity Falls. But honestly, Ford cared enough to observe Mabel's social skills with the pizza delivery guy, plus probably witnessing plenty of instances of Mabel handling herself without Dipper's help. He genuinely believed that Mabel could handle being without her brother outside of the summers.

Plus, it isn't like Mabel was forthright about her feelings about leaving Gravity Falls and growing up until she blew up at the end of the episode. Obviously there are things to be said about Ford taking Dipper on as an apprenticeship being a good or a bad idea depending on who you ask, but Ford didn't know how badly Mabel would take it. He thought he was doing Dipper a favor by giving him a head start on his studies and, as I previously mentioned, that Mabel would be fine at home. That the two could reach a compromise if needed.

Ford isn't perfect though, he does tend to project himself onto Dipper after finding out how similar he thinks he is to him. That might've affected how often he spends with either twin or how he saw their bond, but to say that he doesn't care about Mabel at all is simply misguided. He cares about them both so much. His traumatic experience with his own twin just tainted how he saw the twins' bond being something that could be potentially suffocating. He does sorta have a point though, Dipper and Mabel can't force each other to stay glued at the hip forever or it could potentially stifle their individual dreams if handled badly. But that's just my 'controversial' opinion right there i guess, so take it with a grain of salt if you wish.

And besides, if we were gonna get upset at Ford for favoring Dipper over Mabel, you might as well also get upset at Stan for favoring Mabel over Dipper in some honestly worse ways than Ford ever did to Mabel. Stan literally projected his father's abusive ways onto Dipper and justified being hard on him with 'toughening him up'. Not to mention how he made Dipper the butt of his jokes so often it drove Dipper to seek out time with Ford over him because Ford never made fun of him like that. Obviously Stan does care about Dipper too, but the double standards in this fandom when it comes to how the grunkles treat the twins is honestly flabbergasting. Neither grunkle is perfect in how they handle the twins, neither are 'better' in their methods, and I think that's the point.

it doesn't help that Ford doesn't get a lot of screentime compared to Stan, as i'm sure you're already aware.

anyway, if you have any more questions, feel free to let me know. hope this was a good insight into all this Ford and Mabel business.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

hi there! you are once again about to see a message regarding your chainsaw man fics. specifically the makima x reader duology :D absolutely gorgeous fics. I would love to know what Makima's perspective was of the events of part 1. Do you think she had birds spying on reader? Do you think she somehow heard the convos with the shopkeep and understood what they were saying? (my personal headcanon is that she knows, like, every language. fear is a universal language and the Control Devil has existed since the dawn of time!) anyways, thank you so much for writing such an incredible piece of literature :)))

Oooh I think this is the first time someone's ever asked about Makima's perspective of the events of part 1!

Before she developed any sort of interest in the reader, she didn't really have enough interest to specifically spy on her. She didn't think much of their partnership in general other than the fact that they were partners for however long until the reader either died or otherwise retired from being a devil hunter.

Once her interest was piqued by Reader refusing to listen to her, Makima's focus was on testing to see if Reader's refusal to listen to her orders was a one time thing. So she kept on giving subtle orders for an extended period of time, testing to see how Reader would react to them. When the order refusals kept on happening, Makima is pretty much in awe after that. I didn't write the scene with the shopkeep with Makima spying on that conversation in mind but I do see there being instances where Makima does start doing that before their relationship together. By part 2, it's something she does around the time Reader is expected to show up to their home to make sure that you get home safely. It's no different than a cat looking out the window waiting for its human to pop back up.

But using animals to spy on Reader and your whereabouts isn't something Makima does consistently.

By offering the contract not to use her abilities as the Control Devil on you, she essentially was placing her trust in the relationship she has with you. That she's managed to craft a relationship where she didn't need her abilities to force someone to care about her. That you'll always come home to her because you choose to. That you will always choose her.

But prior to that relationship being established, Makima sucks at connecting with people and it wasn't like the Reader was fond of Makima for a while so she was still lonely. So having someone who was simply human and wasn't an all-powerful being as a prospective equal was pretty much a beacon of light for Makima.

So Reader reaching out to invite Makima to dinner after work was pretty much a gift in her eyes. All without Makima having to tell you to do so. So from that moment on she stops using her power to connect with you, it's just hard to control the urge when she is dealing with her insecurities, her inexperience with a normal relationship and her envy regarding your relationship with Himeko.

Himeko is pretty much seen as a threat in part 1 before you start dating. Makima's definitely contemplated killing her and getting rid of her but it isn't something she thinks about (often) when you start going out together. At that point your relationship with Himeko is a minor wrinkle she can't really iron at.

Makima's biggest worry at that point in time was whether or not she could consistently remain in this relationship with Reader as they were without ever succumbing to her nature as the Control Devil. Sometimes wondering if the entire relationship was simply just a dream she'd eventually wake up from. Or that even the Reader would decide that someone like Makima isn't worth being with which only makes her desire to control the reader stronger.

Hoping that she could give an order that Reader could succumb to. There's relief in that hypothetical reassurance it would give that you would be incapable of leaving her.

But that hypothetical relief is immediately washed over by despair and anxiety because if there was ever an order you could succumb to, that would only solidify that she can't make equal relationships with anybody. That only one being could do it.

Which is why she orders the Reader to sleep with her towards the end of the story, which you thankfully refuse before she divulges the truth about her identity. Something you take in stride rather than recoil in fear, leaving her alone.

Instead you stay and accept her contract of a lifetime, marriage in her eyes. So staying with the Bureau was meaningless at that point. She wanted a simple life with her beloved, so she left. There was no need for idols like Chainsaw Man and seeing if he could be found if Makima already had the relationship she wanted.

So from there, you and Makima live together in abstract bliss in a new city until... some unfortunate events happen in part 2. But hey you find each other again so it all works out!

[not-so-lost-after-all]

I saw some of your posts about how the game implemented the poly thing in regards to Astarion and I have to agree with you, the lack of dialogue in which Tav can tell him that he's enough, that they don't need another person in their relationship is glaring! I suppose they didn't include it because they didn't want to offend the fans who are for the arrangement, in case Astarion would've reacted too happily at the player telling him he's enough (realistically he would be VERY happy)? Either way, it's stupid. The whole thing is very badly done and I think the fandom should stop pretending Larian wrote this well and act like it's good poly representation. They didn't and it isn't. Yeah, some people will be offended if you tell them the truth, but this doesn't mean the rest of us should sweep the bad writing under the rug so we don't hurt some feelings. Clearly Larian intended to portray a healthy polyamory relationship in which all parties enthusiastically consented but I think in their desire to do so, they overwrote it inadvertently portrayed the type in which a partner agrees to this type of arrangement not for their own sake, but for their partner's. Oh and I love how these people guilt trip other fans, saying they're infantilizing Astarion for questioning how genuine he was about it or for not liking how the devs implemented poly, or accusations of hating real poly people, poly erasure and so on. If Larian wrote this well, most of the discourse surrounding this issue wouldn't exist.

Fans of this choice will chide you for having doubts and tell "it's normal for him to have insecurities, you just have to reassure him and it's all fine" and will also point to the dev notes saying Astarion is genuine about it except…you can even CONFIRM that his insecurities are true, that you have a problem with him NOT fucking you and he's still fine with it. What the fuck, Larian? Maybe I'm getting something wrong, but him accepting this kind of disrespect from his partner who outright tells him they care more about sex than him as a person is either a red flag which confirms he still has problems setting up his boundaries or again…bad writing. Not sure which is worse. Personally, I tend to believe it's both and after the new Mizora datamined lines in which the player CAN still manipulate him into forgiving the cheating I have to say it's quite clear that he can still be taken advantage of. Sorry, but a person who can healthily establish a boundary won't forgive his partner cheating on him, let's not pretend otherwise. It's GREAT that he's still confronting the player about what they had done, but it's not a good sign that he can forgive a cheater. Oh and let's not forget how before the datamined dialogue for the Mizora cheating many people used the fact that Astarion was seemingly okay with it and didn't have any disparaging reaction as proof of him being open minded about allowing the player to have casual sex with anyone…

Also, why the confidence about believing that Halsin will keep it at sex only when it's clear it's also about feelings for him. Yeah, he has prior experience with this, but is it really enough? It creates the impression that Tav is either lying to Astarion that their relationship with the druid will only be about sex or that Tav is lying to Halsin, therefore using him for sex only when clearly it's more than that for him since feelings are also involved on his part. Again, Larian didn't really think this through. Oh and it gets worse when nothing in the game suggests that Astarion even likes Halsin, if anything he talks about finding him annoying…

It's fucked up that that the Halsin conversation ends up with him agreeing with it no matter what you're going to say. People will probably say "well, Astarion is polyamorous, that's why he simply agrees with it"… well, for someone who's supposedly been written as poly from the beginning, he never brings it up on his own! It's always the player the one who does it. Since communication is so important, we should've had the option to discuss such matters at some point. What type of relationship he prefers to have with the player? Is it fine if the player only wants him? Maybe he would've told us he doesn't want to be in a monogamous relationship and that at some point he will seek out other partners on his own. Or I guess only Tav is allowed to have others on the side?

Now post-Cazador the whole thing feels less bad, but not by much. His impersonation of Halsin, the exaggerated laugh, the 'it's okay if things between us change' lines…sorry, it just puts you off. Not to mention it just doesn't fit into his romance arc, especially when he remains a spawn. He's in his first real relationship with a person he just confessed his love for and very importantly, he's just began to learn that sex can also be about having a loving, intimate connection with his loved one, and more than what he was forced to do, more than scratching an itch and you just prove the opposite by doing whatever you can to have sex with others. It's just bad. (and to ask bluntly, why do people act as if Tav will die if they go on without having sex for a while? oh the horrors!! Not everything has to be about sex all the time)

To argue that well, actually going poly is GREAT for Astarion and that he must be likely relieved about Tav having someone else to have sex with because it takes the pressure from him in the relationship to perform and now he has time to figure himself out…yeah, just stop. This is just coping and headcanon lol. He doesn't need his lover to fuck other people in order for him to figure what he likes, get real. Now I could be persuaded into thinking that in the future when he will have had more actual experience about what being in an actual relationship entails, he could be truly open to trying poly, but right now, to open the first and ONLY real relationship (that's a few months old!!) he has to poly seems a bit cruel from Tav's part. Had HE been the one initiating this, maybe it would've felt different. The only one getting anything positive out of this is Tav. I think it's silly to pretend otherwise. The same goes for the orgy as well (yes, he does consent to both, I'm not saying otherwise), it's bothering me a lot how a lot of people in the fandom think you NEED to take him to the brothel and have an orgy for him because, apparently, they say it's essential to his healing journey. I had someone tell me I'm a bad partner for not doing this with him, that I'm intantilizing and taking away his agency and freedom to choose…so, yeah. This is the BG3 fandom for you.

Regardless, people should of course feel free to do anything they like in the game without being judged or called a bad person, but those of us who feel uncomfortable about certain things shouldn't be dismissed as mere haters or bigots. Our criticism is still valid. It's funny how you can criticize the writers for pretty much everything you want except the horny parts of the game…now that's when people get really angry and come for your head.

Now this ask got so incredibly long, sorry about it! I'll just end this by saying I like your blog and agree with your takes about Astarion (oh and yes checking Astarion's tag on tumblr is a challenge in itself, sone of the stuff you can find there...ugh). It's just nice finding fans out there who aren't insane about him in a bad way and who don't praise every writing decision the devs made just for the sake of it.

Nonnie, yeah, it was long but it was apparently important for you to vent 🙂 I'm sorry if the sex positive crowd left a bad taste in your mind. I honestly prefer to stay in my small corner of the fandom and usually don't bother to argue or correct anymore. I've said many things you have mentioned myself and I'm probably done with this topic. It's pointless to be upset about what some people do with their barbies - but you should hold you ground when someone says something idiotic like that the brothel experience is "healing" and you should defo do it for him. The poly thing is so badly done I'm not even sure why he'd dismiss that option with Shadowheart in Act 3 if he's poly, to be honest.

[ihavethedreamies]

From Afar | What the Heart Wants (1)

Qian Kun & Nakamoto Yuta (NCT)

Rating: Suggestive (18+) MDNI

Nothing explicitly is said or done, but sexual interactions are implied.

The beginning of this story has the reader underaged, but nothing happens or is implied to happen before she turns 18.

Word Count: ~14.2k

Pairing(s): Kun x AFAB!Reader x Yuta, the primary pairing is Kun x Reader, but it's kinda both for the first part.

Genre: Reader-Insert, Altered History AU!, Royalty AU!, Plot! (wow), Fluff? (not for sure that's what to call this), not quite smut (yet), Angst (but angry)

!!There are mature themes discussed…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Arranged Marriage (ish), Harems/Multiple Wives (more fiancées…), Bullying (see Caution), Some Swearing, Borderline Misogyny/Sexism (you'll see, not from the boys, just like…society), Favoritism, Love Triangle, Jealousy, Pining, One-Sided Crush/Infatuation (or is it?)

Caution: This story is a bit darker than my normal stuff. There isn't bullying throughout, just one intense scene. It's not in a school setting, but I do want to warn anyone reading this that it could be triggering. I'll be real and admit that there is definitely toxicity here, and I know that's what it is, I try to be realistic with my stuff. There is also a part where the reader has a severe allergic reaction, so if that is something that is hard for you to read, be aware. Please let me know if you think I need to add in any more specific warnings or cautions.

Author's Note: This is based off of a dream I had while I took a nap a bit back. I changed some details because what happened in the dream was a little too unrealistic. But, most of it is pretty much the same. I have a lot of Kun dreams, but most of them I can't write a story with because there are weird cross-overs with my real life and often the video game Mass Effect (lol), so…

P.S. Kun is my Ultimate Bias and so…I held back for so long of going down the rabbit hole because I knew I wouldn't be able to crawl out once I did. I am working on another much longer series so that's why I don't have much posted for him yet since I want to get it mostly done before I post any of it.

P.S.S. The reader has a bad allergy to coconut, which is one I have. So, it might seem a bit extreme with her reaction to it, but I know from personal experience how bad I can be with it. I haven't had the same thing happen though.

I split this into two different parts because I hate reading a long story, and then the app or page somehow gets closed, and then you have to scroll to find your spot… The second part is just smut, literally just the smut part, but it was so long I needed to separate the two parts.

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

Your life seemed to end before it really began. Things like harems for royalty and royalty itself should be in history books and old stories, not modern times. Yet here you were. Historians often talk about how much different the eastern world might look had Japan been successful in taking Korea nearly 100 years prior. Would they have ruled East Asia rather than the Korean Monarchy? Would China be its own country still? Siam? All you knew is that if World War II had gone much differently, you wouldn't be in the situation you were.

In order to keep the commoners and everyday folks of each country of the Korean Empire in line, the Emperor would marry a noblewoman from each land, therefore forming his Harem. When he was a prince, he had his little group of girls that followed him around and did everything with him, almost like some kind of harem anime or even American dating show. One would be picked to be his 'main wife' and the rest were concubines. That's what you were. Well, almost. You were 'in training' to be a possible concubine or wife. The king had five wives, and a son with each woman. The eldest was Taeyong, from the king's first Korean wife; then Prince Yuta, whose mother was Japanese; third born was Prince Kun, from a Chinese mother; second youngest was Prince Ten with a Siamese mother. His birthname was not used very often since most people didn't know how to pronounce it, and finally the youngest Prince was Prince Doyoung. His mother was Korean as well and since he was the youngest, he had the least responsibilities. Not necessarily in a bad way, but he was quite lazy and didn't go out very often. Each prince had a symbol that then was used to name his girls. Taeyong's was a rose and so his girls were The Petals. Yuta's was the Cherry Tree, so his girls were The Sakura. Kun's was a Bear, and his girls were The Ursas. Ten's symbol was a cat and his girls, The Tabbies. Finally, Doyoung's symbol was a rabbit, so his girls were The Bunnies. The name he chose somewhat showed how little he cared for formality. It was too much effort, and he was actually considered the best prince to follow. None of the princes were bad, though, it was simply that Doyoung was the least strict, and there were less rules overall. Taeyong's group was the most prestigious since he was the Crown Prince, and so it was hard to stay in The Petals.

Many different things could make a girl leave or get kicked out. It was pretty easy to get kicked out actually, but most of the time it was by the other girls. Jealousy and competition were rampant, but if sabotage or cheating was ever even just suspected, you were out. Each prince got their initial set at the age of eighteen, and the girls would be at the most two years younger, never older. So, when Prince Yuta hit the proper age, they sent out the search committee. Your father had told you as a little girl that he would never, no matter how much money was offered, let you go. Unfortunately, he didn't get to make the decision because he passed two years prior. Your mother couldn't manage the family estate and business well either, so she remarried, and of course your stepfather was more than willing to hand you over. You never learned how much he was paid, but you knew, to him, it was more than you were worth.

There were always five girls, two from Korea and one from China, Japan, and Siam as well. When you were escorted to the royal palace, you looked up at the tall arch allowing entry onto the grounds. Due to historical preservation laws, no one actively lived in the palace, but there was a modern campus built for the royal family. The guards let the fancy black car you were being escorted in through and it continued down the road past the elegantly preserved palace. Finally, after nearly five minutes of driving, the vehicle stopped in front of what appeared to be an extremely fancy hotel. You were told the main estate was further into the campus and was where the King and Queen lived with the Concubines. Where you were to live was where the princes and all of their entourages lived. Shakily, you got out of the car when it came to a stop, the heels of your black Mary Jane's clicking on the stone pavement. Your suitcases were removed from the trunk, and they went off to your room as you were led down the opposite hallway. Looking around at your surroundings, the building felt less like a royal residence and more of a luxury apartment building, there were even a few restaurants. Finally, after a long walk in very uncomfortable shoes, you were told to enter a large ballroom and you stood in line with what seemed to be twenty other girls. That was a surprise, you thought for sure you had already been chosen. While you wanted to pray you wouldn't be chosen, you also feared being sent back to your stepfather. Your soft yellow and white dress was probably just as expensive as the other girls’ but seemed much plainer. Standing straight, trying to remember your etiquette training, the line of girls all did the same, stiffening when a door on the other side of the ball room entered. At least, you thought it was a ballroom. There was a stage on the opposite wall and that was it. No tables or chairs, nothing. You felt the girls to your left and right turn their heads to try and see who entered, but you just stared ahead. The three people that entered stopped in the middle of the room, a bit to your left since you were toward the end of the line. The other girls were whispering, and curiosity took over and your eyes flicked to look at them. It was a servant, most likely since he was in a butler's outfit, a man in a business suit, and who you assumed to be the prince. He was beautiful, and that was an objective fact. His dark brown hair was longer, hitting his shoulders and he had it tied back into a half-ponytail. He was not dressed like a prince really; he had on a black T-shirt or tank top with a soft-looking grey sweater over it. He was in jeans and sneakers, and you looked down at your dress, then at the others. You were sixteen, but you felt like a little girl then, with your high-collared, long-sleeved white button-up with a yellow sundress over top. Though, it seemed he preferred casual, and you were the closest to that. His stance was casual as well, arms behind his back, leaning his weight on one leg as he lightly swayed, looking over the line of girls. The servant cleared his throat, and it was like some kind of primal instinct took over, and you placed your hands together over your stomach, and bowed low. No one else did. Panic set in when you realized this, hearing the other girls whispering. Now too nervous to stand back up, you pressed your lips together, but stayed bowed.

"It seems she was the only one raised correctly." A new voice, a woman's, cut in and you heard another person walk in. The woman stopped in front of you, and you only saw the bottom of her dress and shoes, she was dressed in the traditional dark green and blue hanbok.

"You may look up, dear." She prompted and you straightened, looking up slightly at the much older woman. Her hair was graying at the roots, but she was still quite beautiful. Her hair was tied back in a bun with a simple wooden pin and you swallowed under her sharp gaze.

"Prince Yuta, please come here." Her tone changed, and she bowed, stepping to the side and you froze as he left his original position and strode over to you. He stopped before you and you dropped your gaze. Don't look at his face. That was clearly something no one else learned and you were a bit worried about that, though, his handmaiden seemed pleased with you. Didn't mean he would be.

"How old are you?" His voice was soft, deeper than you thought it would be.

"Sixteen, your highness." Your hands still rested over each other, flat against your stomach and you tried not to flinch when his finger went to your chin. He lifted your head, but your eyes stayed down, no matter how badly you wanted to look at his face better.

"Look at me." He prompted and you obeyed. He was even more attractive up close, more handsome than you thought, still pretty. He tipped his head and a similarly pretty smile spread on his face.

"Her."

After that, you were quickly whisked away.

"What will happen with the other girls?" You asked the maid that was taking your measurements after you reached some sort of dressing room.

"He will pick the other nine and you will begin training." The same older woman from before entered then and you nodded jerkily, trying to process everything.

"Training?"

"It seems you have begun on etiquette already, unlike the other girls. That will help. Ten girls will start and after your four years the final five will graduate up. You will all learn everything you need to, to be a good woman of the royal family and possibly a future princess."

"I see." The same maid began holding up different swatches of fabric next to your face, flipping through different colors. Seemingly making a decision, the maid nodded to the head handmaiden, and you stepped off the small pedestal you had been set on.

"Let us go child, I will escort you to the dormitory."

 ~*~*~

Over the next four years, as you were told, you trained. Ten girls all lived in a four-bedroom apartment, three in two, and two in two. It was miserable. You really didn't mind the training and tutoring itself, it was the clique-like mentality the girls had even within the dorm. Let alone in the other training groups. You felt like an outlier the whole time but staying quiet and laying low helped. You yourself were not bullied, but you weren't friends with the other girls either. Not in any of the groups. Prince Taeyong's girls were a few months ahead of your group and the other three were not even a year younger. The eldest prince was only about four months older than Yuta, and he was only a month, maybe two, older than Kun. The youngest were each a month after. It seemed the King had gotten to work quickly…

For the first year you almost never saw any of the princes, not even Yuta. It seemed the first year was really used to weed out girls, and that was when some of the original twenty made a return. If one of the ten got kicked out or left, they replaced her. That was not what you expected at all, but it seemed you were relatively safe. You only got one demerit over the first year, and it was minor. The rules were strict and after your first dink you never messed up again. What did you mess up? You forgot to put in your earrings before the morning check.

After the second year, you would have more interactions with Prince Yuta, and sometimes the others. That was when you first met the third-born Prince. Kun. Your eyes widened when you saw him, it was like some kind of rose-colored filter hung around him. He was…perfect. You weren't sure exactly what drew you to him so heavily, but it was nearly backbreaking, the weight of your crush. It didn't help that your infatuation was with the completely wrong prince. Most of the girls were good at staying loyal to their boy, and if they weren't, that was grounds for expulsion. It was your first true hinderance and possible snare. The only one, really. Luckily, he wasn't around too often in the second year. For no reason, really, you hated the girls in his group. They were so incredibly fortunate in your eyes and didn't realize how much so. Was Yuta bad? Not in any way, shape or form. He was extremely sweet and kind, generous…but he wasn't Kun. To you, that was his greatest sin. Your obsession was a bit worrying, honestly. Though the girls were given a therapist they could talk with, she was there for things like homesickness and anxiety. Not near yandere-levels of love for a Prince not their own. Okay…it wasn't that bad, but you feared that if your mind ever got too weak, if you broke, it would be that bad. When third year rolled around… It got so much worse. The princes did a lot of things together and if a girl made it to year three, then she got to as well. On the new year of year three, the girls remaining were the final ones. One could leave, but she wouldn't be replaced. So, what most often happened, is the gaggle of fifty girls would each take turns with which five would go on an outing with their prince. What killed you about those, was when you were picked, and Kun would be there. It was hard to keep your wistful stares off of him and you prayed he would stick near Yuta for as long as possible, so you could look at him all the more. He was what most considered to be the handsome one among the half-brothers. Taeyong was what the girls defined as cute-hot. Could be either. Yuta was handsome-pretty, Ten was just pretty and Doyoung was just cute. Kun was handsome to the rest, but to you he was also the cutest, prettiest, and hottest. He was by no means buff, but he was able to build the most muscle tone out of all of them and you couldn't help but stare when his pants were just the right amount of tight around his thighs. When you finally got close enough to really look at him the first time, you cataloged every little feature you could. Especially the beauty mark under his right eyebrow.

~*~*~

You were truly a goner when you attended a causal tennis game the princes were engaging in. Doyoung sat off the side with his girls, and they were literally playing some kind of board or card game instead. You sat with the four other Sakuras on a bench, not even watching the tennis ball fly between Yuta and Taeyong's rackets. You were staring off into the distance, messing with a stray string at the top of your knee-high socks. If the head handmaid saw it… Wrapping your finger around it tight, you yanked to try and pull it away, the elastic tightening with each tug. You were so preoccupied with your sock that you didn't even hear the warning call, but something thunked against the back of your head. You yelped, falling forward off the bench, managing to catch yourself with your hands, but you scraped your knees up badly on the court-floor.

"Hiyomi!" Yuta immediately called and was at your side. You weren't even sure if you would have known he was calling you if he had said your real name. You hadn't heard it in such a long time.

"Good job!" Ten shouted sarcastically and you heard another come to your side.

"Hey, you okay?" Yuta helped you sit up a bit, letting your rest your forehead on his shoulder as he looked at the back of your head.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." Your body froze when the other person's voice seemed to speak right in your ear and another hand rested on your upper back.

"Does it hurt there?" You hadn't even realized Yuta had pressed on your neck at the base of your head. He must have taken your sudden rigidity as a pain response. Carefully, slightly, you turned your head so you could glance out of the side of your eye, through your hair, at a red shirt. Only one of the princes was in a red shirt that day. You were sure your face turned about that same shade when you realized the other boy so close to you was Kun, and that the hand on your back was his.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta prompted again and you flinched back to reality.

"Uh, no." Your own hand came up to run over your head, wincing as you felt the small bump forming under your hair. The hand left your back and you felt Yuta move your hair so he could see where you pressed. You gasped when Kun's hand came back, his fingers gently running over the bump.

"She should probably go to the infirmary." The younger prince decided, and Yuta hummed in agreement.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." He apologized again, and even though it was your alias, hearing him speak your name twisted your insides around.

"I-It's okay." You were too scared to lift your head as Yuta helped you stand, knowing that if you met Kun's gaze then you would fall back to your knees.

"Come on, sweetheart." Yuta wrapped an arm around you so he could lead you toward the building and you felt the glares of your team boring through you. It was evident even before then that Yuta favored you, and it made the girls mad. You never made more of an effort to woo him like they did, you just lived your life naturally, and that seemed to be what appealed to him.

"I guess the nurse isn't here right now." Yuta had helped you sit on the edge of one of the two cot-like beds and then he kneeled in front of you.

"Do you mind if help with your knees?" He had noticed the scrapes, and you shook your head with a hum, and he left to get the first aid kit. It was then you really felt the pain in your head, but you hadn't even seen stars, so you doubted you had a concussion. The tennis ball hadn't been going that hard, it had bounced on the court before it hit you, slowing it down pretty good. When the prince came back, he cleaned the scrapes and you winced at the sting. He was so gentle and put ointment on as well before the band-aids. As his thumb smoothed over the bandage, he opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse decided to return right then. He went back out to the tennis court as she looked you over and she suggested you rest for a bit, there was no concussion evident, but you did still get hit in the head.

You had managed to drift half-way to sleep, and you somewhat registered hearing the nurse step out, and someone not too long after coming in. It was a different person for sure, they weren't in heels, and you wondered if it was the head handmaid. Flittering your eyes open when you felt them move to your bedside, you jerked in shock.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You tried not to panic, eyes falling quickly to the white logo on his red shirt. You were allowed at that point to look at Yuta's face, but you weren't sure about the other princes. Plus, if you did, you might just explode.

"N-No." You shook your head against the pillow and shuffled under the light blanket. Fuck. You tried not to wince when he kneeled down so he could meet your gaze. He smiled. You were done for.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to let the ball hit you. I tried to go after it, but I'm not very fast." Kun huffed bashfully and you just gaped. Speak! Say something, stupid!

"I-It's okay."

"Can you tell Yuta you're not mad at me? He looked like he wanted to kill me." You knew the look. Yuta was definitely the scariest of the brothers.

"Y-yes." He sighed in relief at that and stood back up.

"I should probably go before you get in trouble for me being in here." He huffed in annoyance and then waved as he left the little infirmary. You were truly and royally, ironically, screwed.

~*~*~

Of course, it got worse through the third and into the fourth year. All the teams had been narrowed down to the final five, the girls that were weeded out were essentially turned into the reserve team. You didn't know what that meant until after you graduated. And you did. You were in the final five for The Sakuras, the little junior harem of Prince Yuta. You were also the forerunner, the informal leader despite being the youngest, but you were the least popular. Out of all twenty-five girls, they all either hated you or didn't care to acknowledge your presence. To them you put in very little effort to get to your rank, well, how you ranked to Yuta. In actuality, you put in the most effort, and had no demerits and never had to make up in any of your training. All of the other maknaes, the youngest, were the favorites of the other girls. Not you. You didn't fit the cutesy, sweet image you were supposed to it seemed. The graduation wasn't going to be until April. Because the princes were so close in age, they decided to just do everyone at the same time, and that just made the internal competition even worse. Though, your favor with the head handmaiden granted you a privilege. Early information. You knew things before anyone else, you were warned. That's how you saw it anyway. It seemed that there would be another year of training after graduation. Everyone was of age by then, which meant the sexual teachings started. It had to wait till you were finally assigned to your prince, since he would head your 'studies'. You were to learn what he liked, how he liked it and so on. It was a rumor by that point, and many girls were unbothered by this. It made sense and they were okay with it since they would be future wives anyway, and some were even looking forward to it. You didn't hate Yuta, not anything close. You did like him, but… You decided then that you had to give up on the younger Prince. You were Yuta's, and that was final. You also learned that the girls that fell through the cracks more or less joined a brothel, modern day gisaeng for the princes and their friends. Not only did the girls graduate in April, so did the princes. And that meant everything changed. You wouldn't say that they turned into scoundrels, but finally they were more-or-less unrestrained, so they let loose. Parties. Drinking. Sex. Lots of it. You never asked about the other princes, not wanting to learn that your beloved prince had fallen into debauchery as well. Their personalities hadn't changed, they weren't abusive or even rude, but they turned into animals. You heard that Ten and his friends had full orgies with his girls and the extras. You knew when Johnny showed up that something utterly filthy was about to go down.

Taeyong seemed to be more restrained, but he was somewhat selfish. He didn't want to share his Petals, but that didn't mean that it wasn't just as naughty what happened in his quarters. Doyoung preferred more low-key engagements, but just because there was only one girl in his bed didn't mean they weren't going at it for hours on end. The only first-hand knowledge you had was with Yuta. Obviously. Honestly, you seemed to be corrupted more and quicker than the other girls. It was one of the few times you felt like you could be yourself, not constantly worried about doing and saying the right things. It was a good outlet as well for all the emotions you pushed down and hid. You were open to most things, mostly because Yuta was by no means selfish. You preferred the more carnal and kinky acts honestly; you weren’t sure you could ‘make love’ to him. The only thing that first gave you pause was when he asked if you would be okay with two of his friends joining. No other girls, just the three guys and you. It was a bit scary at first, and you wondered if your future husband had some sort of fetish, but his reasoning shocked you.

"You let me do whatever I want, Hiyomi. I want to spoil you." He spoke between kisses along your neck, your shoulder exposed from where his shirt had fallen over it. Yuta wasn't that big for a man, but he was bigger than you, his clothes baggy on your body. If you asked him, he probably would be okay with just one wife. And it would be you. You wished it wasn't though. Even with the comparatively few interactions you had over the years with Kun, you had hopelessly fallen for him, and you were content to pine after him in the distance for the rest of your life. That was better than nothing at all.

"W-which friends?" You shivered as his fingers ran over your back under the garment you had on, one finger slipping under the waist band of your lacey panties.

"Jungwoo. Mark?" His arms wrapped around you and pulled you down further into his lap, his hard cock straining against his pants. It seemed the thought alone turned him on. Those two? That was fine. Most of the princes' friends were shared, but Yuta was the closest with the two he offered. It made sense. It was odd at first to think about it, but if you weren’t sleeping with Yuta out of love, then it wouldn’t be too much different with them. And, based off what you knew the other girls did, it was actually relatively mild.

"You don't have to, sweetheart." Yuta nuzzled under your ear, and you sighed.

"That’s fine." It became a somewhat regular occurrence. And, as far as you knew, the other girls were not in a similar arrangement. But they knew, or at least, knew parts. This made them hate you more, they saw it as favor. It was one thing for a prince to indulge himself in three women, it was another for one woman to get ravished by a prince and his two friends. That was the ultimate sign of favor, you were good enough to not just get solo access to Yuta whenever but get the same treatment from his two just-as-attractive friends. The other girls knew, but they didn’t realize it was a common thing, just once in a blue moon. You didn't talk about it, because you knew how the others would be with it, and it honestly made you want Kun more. Somehow. Even with three men only wanting to please you, you wanted more… Not more, just someone else. 

~*~*~

You had a close call though, you almost got found out. There was some big event that the princes were having, some formal party. It wasn't a drunken orgy or anything, almost like some kind of game night with all their friends. All of the girls went as well, it was supposed to be childish fun. You hated it. Not minding cuddling up with Yuta, you hated doing it with all the girls glaring at you. Mostly the other four in your group, because it made his favor toward you all the more obvious. You managed to get through the night, taking the chance to watch Kun without restraint when they decided to start some karaoke. He was the second-best singer after Doyoung, but none of the brothers were slouches. Some of their friends were pretty good themselves, could have been their jobs. It wasn't you ogling him while he sang that gave you away though. And, either fortunately, or horribly, Kun was the one that noticed. The guys were all taking random pictures together, and you stood at the side watching, honestly enjoying the random things they were doing. At some point Kun ended up sitting on the floor, holding up his closest friend, Chenle, so he didn't fall off of Jeno's back where he stood. You covered your mouth and giggled, eyes flicking to Kun as they tried to hold the pose for the picture. His eyes flashed to meet yours and you felt yours grow wide. He smiled, straight at you, and not the sweet one he normally gave at formal events or to diplomats and other public figures. It was a smirk, and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen. You knew your face was once again red as a cherry, you could feel the heat leaving your skin. You quickly avoided his look; hand going to try and cover your face as you slipped away from the crowd and toward the restroom. You splashed cold water on your face, then met your own frazzled gaze in the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths, you moved to leave but heard voices in the hall, so you halted.

"You know that Jingxian girl is a bitch, right?" The voice was familiar, but quieter than you were used to, so you almost didn't recognize it was Chenle.

"That's harsh." Another person replied. Renjun?

"It's true." That was Yangyang.

"Wait, was she the one who threw her soup at that maid while they were in Europe?" Renjun asked.

"Yeah. She also apparently pretty much stole some girl's necklace that she liked when she went to Japan with…I think her name is Eiko?" Chenle replied.

"Kun-ge told me that she had taken some book from one of Yuta's girls and threw it in a fountain. It was signed or something. He made her replace it and she had to pay like a million won." Your arm jerked away from the handle then. Yuta told you a maid had done it on accident…

"Was it the quiet one he got the leather satchel for?" You shook your head a bit in shock. Yuta got that for you…you thought.

"He told me he tried to get Yuta to let him have her in the beginning, but he said no." Chenle continued, and their voices faded as they continued down the hall. Your head was swimming and your heart had started to race again. There was nothing you could do if all that was true. You were Yuta's, and that was final.

~*~*~

There was a final straw for the other Sakuras though. At it would be their downfall it seemed, and they only fell because they weren’t careful when trying to push you over the edge first.

You were in the lounge, the area big enough to easily accommodate all of the girls and let them have all kinds of fun. Your favorite place was on the top bunk, of essentially a bunk-couch. Instead of a bunk bed, there was a nice soft couch with a wooden loft over it, and another couch on top with ladder-like staircase to get you up on. That was your favorite place. It was removed from the central conversation-pit-like area where most of the girls gathered. They would play drinking games and tell all sorts of lurid stories and secrets, while you would sit under the dim light of a lamp and read.

"Hiyomi, come here!" The girl that called you, Eiko, was the second eldest of your group. She was the only one that was actually Japanese herself, but even then, she was given a different name. You each were granted one from Yuta himself, you weren't even sure he knew any of your real names. Your birthnames didn't matter anymore.

Sighing, you reluctantly put your bookmark in your novel and trudged over to the group. Not everyone was there, Ten's girls were probably off getting drunk and defiled, and three of Taeyong's were with him abroad. Sitting down gently in an armchair, you smoothed your skirt down as you did and stiffly rested back.

"We're playing truth or dare." Of course they were.

"Okay?" They never invited you to play anything or do anything with them unless they were forced to. The competition had gotten much worse lately. As the Princes all approached the grand age of 25, they would finally choose their main wife. You were in the lead, to no one's surprise, but to everyone's chagrin. Yours included. You shot a quick glance at Jingxian. She was the forerunner of the Ursas…Kun's favorite seemingly. She was refined, elegant, beautiful. To many she was kind, sweet, but she was cold to you. She was never rude in person and as far as you know, after the book incident she didn't do anything. That was better than cruel though. She was close with Eiko, and you assumed that was why she disliked you so much, since Eiko cared so little for you. You didn't associate much with any of Kun's girls, but still you hated them. No, that wasn't the right word, you envied them. The worst thing was, you knew that Jingxian didn't love Kun. Just like you didn't love Yuta. She was enamored with Taeyong. Well, maybe not him, but his status. He was the crown prince, which would mean she could be queen if she was chosen. You weren't sure who else knew this, but you knew it was grounds for her to be more-or-less banished. If you really wished, you could out her, and get her kicked out, but what was the point? That wouldn't help you any, and there was no point in lashing out at her out of jealousy. That would make you just like all the others.

"Come sit here." Eiko was being way to friendly, which made you way suspicious. You followed her prompt though; you were the youngest after all. There was an empty soju bottle in the middle, the girls clearly having finished it off earlier.

"I'll start." One of the Petals started; her name was Anjeong. She spun the bottle, and you held your breath, only sighing gently in relief when it landed on Eunhwa, the eldest Bunny.

"Truth or dare, unni?"

"Hm." Eunhwa tapped her finger on her chin, "truth."

"How big is Prince Doyoung's cock?" She prompted and the girls chattered with curiosity. You zoned out then, knowing how this whole thing was going to go. Your eyes drifted to watch the gas flames in the fireplace. As you glanced back at the bottle as it was spun again, not even hearing her answer, your eyes passed over Lumei. She was the maknae of the Ursas, and you hated her the most. You could have been her; she was only about a month younger than you. She didn't seem to notice your glare and she giggled when the bottle landed on her when Eunhwa spun it.

"Truth or Dare, Lumei?"

"Dare!" She decided quickly and Eunhwa looked thoughtful for a second, looking around. She smirked and cast a devilish look at Jingxian before looking back to Lumei.

"Show us what Prince Kun's favorite position is." You wondered if they noticed you go still. Completely. You couldn't show a reaction, you didn't want to let any of them know your secret. They would use it to assassinate you. Jingxian scoffed at the question, over-dramatically.

"I don't think she's can." She grinned coyly, taking a sip of her wine and Lumei sent her a playful sneer.

"Honestly, I can't really show you, because I myself can't do it. But…" Lumei looked around and then climbed onto the couch behind her. She sat on it backwards, knees on the back of the couch, back to the cushion, her head hanging over the edge, hair flowing to the floor. She opened her mouth wide and just sat there a second, the other Ursas giggling. Your jaw clenched, eyes stinging, but you still didn't move.

"Her gag reflex is too sensitive." Jingxian pressed on her throat, and she hacked, sitting up to catch her breath around laughs.

"I can't even open my mouth that wide…" Mianyu mumbled, and the girls chattered and giggled. Your tongue ran over your lips, and you pondered if you could. You were all too familiar with that position Lumei mimicked, and at first you had been disgusted at her pose. But now you would enjoy it with Yuta more, you could imagine Kun instead. Like you often did. Your gag reflex was practically nonexistent, whether it was genetics or a fluke, it had always been that way.

"Okay!" Your eyes flicked to the bottle as Lumei spun it, still giggling, clearly tipsy. You sagged in relief when the bottle landed on Aikiro then. She was your biggest rival…in her eyes anyway. She outright despised you, she felt she should be the favorite just because she was the ‘leader’. Okay…whatever.

"Trush or dare?" The Ursa maknae hiccupped and you wondered if the blood going to her head made her drunker.

"Truth." She leaned back against the couch she sat in front of, sending a wry look your way. What did you do? You rolled your eyes and looked back at the fire.

"How many times have you done it with Yuta, and Jungwoo and Mark?" she asked, and silence fell over the group. Your eyes widened a bit, but you didn't look back to the group.

"You idiot!" Mianyu slapped the back of Lumei's head, and she yelped.

"What?" Aikiro nearly growled.

"W-well. I mean, everyone knows that Yuta invites them over a lot. Jinyu said…"

You felt four heated gazes fall on you and you licked your lips, looking slowly back at everyone else. Your eyes flicked to Jinyu who was staring at the floor, zoned out.

"What do you mean, a lot?" Aikiro looked back at Lumei who shriveled under her glare, pressing closer to Jingxian.

"E-every Friday." She replied. Before you could look back to your fellow Sakuras, you flinched as Aikiro stormed over, dumping her wine all over your head. You exhaled in shock, closing your eyes to prevent the alcohol from running into them.

"You fucking bitch! You told them? I bet you brag about it." You grit your teeth, reaching for the nearby tissue roll, but Eiko snatched it from your reach, her own drink joining. The fruity scent of whatever kind of pre-mixed cocktail she was drinking stung your nose and your hair started to drip.

"H-hey!" Gyuri, the kindest one there, the maknae of Doyoung's bunnies, tried. She really did try, but… You winced and grunted when a hand grabbed the back of your hair, yanking your head back so were forced to look up at the owner. Keiho was the oldest, out of all the girls actually, but she was the most cruel. She was the most two-faced as well. Your eyes flicked to her drink, expecting her to dump it on you as well, and your face fell. It was a bottled pina colada. Coconut. Everyone knew you were super allergic to it, couldn't even eat anything made in the same factory as coconut products.

"Hm, I wonder if you would like the taste of this?" Keiho took a sip before looking at the label on the bottle and she let go of your hair just long enough to let Eiko take over.

"Wait, Keiho-" Mianyu stood then, trying to go forward. Before she could get very far though, Jinyu grabbed her wrist, halting her. No one but you seemed to notice Gyuri slip away from the group and out the door. You prayed she was going to get help. Your heart was pounding, you were scared, legitimately. This wasn't a joke, not a game anymore. They were seriously out to hurt you. Keiho swirled the bottle a bit, and let it tip slightly, a drop falling from the mouth and landing on your cheek. It didn't take any more than five seconds for your skin to start itching, and the girls around you could see the skin already starting to redden, following the path of the drop before it landed on the floor. You tried to wiggle free at that point, out of Eiko's grip, but the final Sakura, Yumi, sat behind you in the chair, holding you in place. She giggled, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Should I tell them about Kun?" Her voice was so soft you almost didn't hear her. You froze then, eyes wide, looking toward Jingxian.

"She knows too, you know." Yumi whispered and then you saw the other woman smirk. The other girl still didn't let Mianyu go and help you. Aikiro kneeled then, joining Yumi in restraining you, her hand going to your face and pressing on your cheeks to force your mouth open. A tear fell from your eye, and you tried to shout, but Eiko's hand left your hair and landed on your throat. Not enough to cut off your air, but in just the right spot to silence you. Keiho swirled the drink again and was just about to tip it again, but she hesitated. Why? Your eyes met hers and she seemed to realize how bad it would be to do what she wanted, seeing the raising red welt on your face from just a drop. It wasn't like your tongue and throat would slowly swell shut, it could shut your body down faster than anyone could get help.

"Don't be a fucking coward." Jingxian snapped, slamming her wine glass down onto the side table so hard it sloshed from the glass. She snatched the bottle from Keiho, and she tipped it-

The sliding door slammed open, the loud noise startling her. The girls all looked in horror at the door, and you watched in terror as the bottle fell from her hand, the alcohol splashing onto you, and a swig or two fell into your still open mouth. You choked, trying to spit the liquid out, your mouth already burning, and the girls let you go as Yuta stormed into the room and straight to you.

"Hiyomi!" You spat more out, nearly tempted to force yourself to throw up…if you even could. Your mouth and face burned, your skin and eyes itched, and tears fell from your eyes as your head grew foggy. You were already wheezing, and Yuta was at your side immediately. A second person landed on your other side.

"Sit her up." You let Yuta move you, slumping back into him and watching blearily as the nurse brought the EpiPen down and injected the medicine into your thigh. You felt some relief at the moment, and you grew tired quickly but your breathing was still shallow. The nurse went ahead and injected the second shot and your body seemed to get enough relief that it wanted rest then.

"Hiyomi!" A third voice hit your ears and you blearily looked to see someone else dash in, heading for you as you fell unconscious.

 ~*~*~

You awoke to the sound of beeping, and distant voices. You blinked to clear your vision and it was clear you were in a hospital. You cringed, looking down at the IV in your arm…You really preferred it in your hand. You felt like you couldn’t bend your arm, and they had put it on your dominant side to boot. Groaning, you adjusted in the bed, your body and head felt heavy. The voices got louder; you could recognize one was Yuta's.

"They did it on purpose, everyone knows how allergic she is to coconut."

"I'm not saying what they did wasn't bad, but are you really okay with getting rid of your entire harem but Hiyomi?" It was another man, a voice you only ever heard in person once. It was the King.

"Father, if I had to pick only one wife, ever, it would be her. She was going to be my main wife anyway. I think having five of them is ridiculous anyway."

"Yuta-"

"I'm not the heir, anyway, so why does it matter?" You didn't hear a response if there was one.

"What about Jingxian and Jinyu?" Jinyu? She was there, but she hadn't done anything that you remembered.

"Get rid of them." Kun's voice was clear. And sharp.

"Didn't you tell me Jingxian was most likely your choice?"

"Not anymore."

"Jinyu too, then?"

"Wasn't it her idea?" Silence.

"Yuta, did what those six tell you not matter?"

"What?" Kun asked then, confused. You strained to hear Yuta's response.

"Yumi. She…she told me that Hiyomi likes you." Finally, your prince spoke. You heard the beeping of your heart monitor increase and felt it in your chest.

"Your highness, I found it!" A maid's voice joined, and you furrowed your brow, listening.

"There's a lock on it." What?

"Just snap it off." Your mouth went dry. Your journal. How'd she know about it? You were more than careful. Or so you thought.

"Did Miss Janyeon have the key to her lock box?"

"Yessir." Fuck. But, if the King requested, it wasn't like she could refuse. That was it. You were out. At least you didn't die.

"I knew all this." Yuta's soft voice was loud in your ears and your breath hitched. What?

"You did?" Kun and the King asked at the same time.

"She's careful. But I know her too well by this point."

"Why didn't you say anything?" the King prompted.

"She was mine, that's all I cared about. It was selfish, but… It is a bit worse than I thought." Yuta huffed.

"What do you want to do, Kun?" Their father moved on.

"It's up to her." It was hard to read his tone, and even in the other room, you could feel the tension rise just by the lack of response from Yuta.

"She's mine." His tone was harsh, you had only heard him angry one other time. Right before you passed out. It felt like minutes of silence passed.

"If that's what she wants." Kun spoke finally.

"I think we owe her a decision, since she went through such an ordeal. It’s impressive she kept it hidden so well, and didn't ever act on it, or act out against the other girls. I might not be around much, but your mothers are, and they tell me everything. She's brave and strong for all the shit the other girls put her through. For now, let's keep it hidden we all know, let her choose her next actions without interference. If she chooses Kun, what will you do Yuta?"

"If you love something, you gotta learn to let it go." His defeated tone made your throat clench. You didn't want to hurt him, you really cared for Yuta. You also knew that your feelings for Kun were borderline insane, if not straight-out irrational. It was infatuation, you weren't allowed to get close enough to him to call it love. You were starting to realize then, that it was probably Yuta's doing. Especially if he knew. Maybe that was why he kept you at his side if the others were around, you thought it might be to protect you from the other girls…

"That's a lot different than what you said three years ago."

"Fuck off."

"Yuta, if you allow her to choose Kun instead, you won't have anyone. It would look bad on me." their father pressed.

"If she leaves me, I'll abdicate." You gasped at that. Yuta was second born, even if he wasn't the crown prince, he was closer to the throne than anyone else. He was right after Taeyong, which would put him in a high position when the eldest became King.

"Yuta-"

"If Kun ditches his girls. If Hiyomi chooses you, you can only have her. She deserves the world, and you better fucking give it to her." You closed your eyes, a tear leaving your eye as you made your own decision. No matter how desperately you had wanted Kun the last four years, Yuta was willing to risk everything for you. You couldn't let him do that.

"Would it look bad for the third-born to have one wife?" Kun asked then and you clenched your jaw, the beeping on the machine picking up. You glanced at it, not sure how to read the numbers, worried if you got any more emotional it would set it off.

"I'm going to tell you boys something that no one else can know. Doyoung already requested that he only marry Gyuri. He's tired of dealing with the girls' drama. Ten doesn't care much for an actual marriage to anyone. Taeyong is willing to have the harem if he's king, since it was the deal for the imperial alliance. He already chose Sooyoung to be the crown princess. I remember when I was your age, all of the crap the girls did to each other, the backstabbing, the gossip. The only girl I've seen that hasn't played into any of it was Hiyomi. Even your mothers love her. If she chose Yuta, what would you do Kun?" More silence.

"If that's what she wants-"

"What the fuck do you want?" Yuta spat.

"Honestly? I want to take her from you. I have for years. I know you said, father, to let her decide without us interfering, but… I'm not going to just sit by." The King sighed so hard that you heard it, your head was spinning trying to process everything.

"If she feels safe with it, I want to bring those six to her. Make them apologize. Hiyomi can decide if they will simply be expelled or if she wants to press charges legally." Your mind ran rampant in that moment. The king was letting you decide? All of your hurt and anger, resentment, jealousy; everything bubbled inside.

"I will have someone speak to Mianyu and Lumei as well. I have a hard time believing they had no part to play, or at least that they didn't know." The king finished and the conversation died, and you assumed they left. A door opened and you realized they had been in the room next door, sharing the wall that was behind your head. Your own door started to open, and you partially shut your eyes, pretending that you just woke up.

"Miss Hiyomi?" A woman spoke a nurse entered, with Yuta behind her. No one else.

"Yes?" You opened your eyes more, continuing the act.

"Do you know where you are?"

"The hospital." You hadn’t hit your head, why wouldn’t you know?

"It was good the nurse had those EpiPens ready, you had a very quick and severe reaction. We're going to keep you here overnight and if all is good, you can go back tomorrow." The nurse smiled and then left after taking note of your vitals, leaving you with Yuta. He sat in the chair next to your bedside, taking your hand in his.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." You admitted and he couldn't help but sigh with a defeated smile.

"I would think. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Could I have some water first?"

"Oh!" He got up and went to get what you requested, probably from a vending machine or something. You hated tap water… Yuta returned, and he helped you sit the bed up more as you took a swig from the bottle. You noticed his brow furrow, and his thumb rubbed over your cheek, it must have been a bit red still.

"What happened, (Y/N)?" You nearly choked, luckily you hadn't taken a sip.

"W-what?"

"(Y/N)." He reiterated and you closed the bottle, lip quivering a bit. It had been so long since you heard that name…

"I didn't know you knew my real name." you whispered.

"I shouldn't. But I asked." You had a hard time meeting his eye, so you just rested back, eyes closed.

"I was stupid. I was just reading, and they invited me over to play truth or dare." You huffed in annoyance, "I was suspicious immediately, but I went along with it. I…" You didn't want him to know you heard their conversation, or that you knew he knew about your feelings for Kun.

"I hadn't even been picked, but Lumei asked Aikiro about…about Jungwoo and Mark." You finally looked at him and he nodded, realization painting over his worried expression.

"It was clear that only I get the…privilege." You weren’t sure what else to call it.

"Aikiro got pissed and so she dumped her wine on me. Eiko dumped her cocktail on me and they with Yumi held me while Keiho threatened to make me drink her pina colada." His brow instantly furrowed, anger clearly taking over. But he was the quiet, scary angry type.

"Keiho hesitated, so Jingxian grabbed it from her and decided to do it herself…" You shivered a bit, feeling angry yourself. You never felt so mad. Sad, upset, hurt, frustrated? Yes. Not anger, not the rage you felt taking over.

"What about Jinyu?"

"Jinyu?" You played along. Yuta sighed.

"Apparently it was her idea. We decided that those six need to go. Father wants them to apologize first. He said it was up to you if they get expelled or if you want to get the police involved." You knew all of that already, but you were able to put on a bewildered expression.

"I can decide?" Your prince didn't say anything, and you wondered if he was thinking about his willingness to let you decide about him, or Kun.

"Yes, of course."

"What…what about you and them?" He didn't look at you and you wondered how he would word what you already knew.

"I only need you." He told you softly and you tried to hide your wince.

"Will you meet with them? You don't have to."

"No, I want to hear them apologize. And I want to tell them they're expelled. And I want to press charges." You turned your determined gaze to Yuta; he had never seen you look so harsh. But it made him smile.

"Good."

~*~*~

The doctors determined you were good to be discharged the next day and when you got back to the Sakuras’ dorm, it didn't look any different. You then remembered you wanted to be the one to tell them they were expelled, so you got to. The rest of them weren't in there, but there were maids scurrying about in their bedrooms, packing up their stuff.

"Hiyomi!" You turned as the head handmaiden came in and her hands went to your face, looking you over.

"You poor child." She sighed after you told her in detail what you went through.

"I'm sorry I had to help them find your diary." She pulled the journal out of the top of her hanbok, the lock had been broken off.

"It's okay." You took it from her, "did you look at it?"

"No, child. I know how to respect someone's privacy." You nodded in thanks, and she left to attend to other duties and so you entered your own room. Nothing had been touched, at least it seemed that way, but you still checked. Finding everything was in line, you got changed into something a bit more formal for the rest of the day. Looking in the mirror, you put on the brown and black plaid jacket that matched your skirt. Adding the beret of the same pattern, you pulled it further back, then readjusted your thigh-high socks. After, since you had about an hour to kill before you were supposed to confront the girls, you rummaged through your things. Many of your nicer accessories and little trinkets were from Yuta. Your mind went back to the conversation you had overhead nearly three years prior. Plucking the familiar book off your shelf, you looked over it, the spine was wrinkled from many read-throughs and the signature was in a slightly different spot than the original. It was your favorite book, and it made sense why Jingxian targeted it, but how did she know? Probably Eiko… You then looked at your leather satchel, you used it constantly, and you had nearly forgotten that apparently, Yuta hadn't got it for you. Did Kun really get it instead? Or did he suggest it? Get it for Yuta to give you? You didn't know. The other little gifts started to leave a sour taste in your mouth, making you wonder if he had lied about any of the rest. Your glass paperweight in the shape of a cat went missing, and supposedly a maid found it in your laundry, so he brought it back. A set of manga you liked had a limited edition only sold in Japan that he got for your birthday. But…he hadn't been in Japan when they were on sale. Kun had been though. Letting your thoughts loop into the negative, you gathered all of your gifts, minus the bag, and piled them on your desk. The bag was a practical item, so it was allowed some grace, but you wanted to ditch the rest for some reason. Why did you feel so mad at Yuta? It wasn't like he did anything wrong, technically, he just continued to act like he didn't know about your feelings for his half-brother.

"Lady Hiyomi?" A soft voice called after a knock on your door. A younger maid had come to escort you to a sitting room where you were to meet with the girls. Swallowing the few nerves you had, surprisingly, you followed after her and entered the room. It was empty, no one else was there-

"(Y/N)." You startled, only noticing Kun as you got further into the room. He was sitting on the couch under a window, and you wondered why Yuta wasn't there. He looked gorgeous as always; his hair dyed a dirty blonde and slightly wavy, and he had on a navy and white letterman jacket.

"(Y/N)?" If Yuta wasn't supposed to know your real name, how did Kun? That didn't matter, you were there with him, alone. And he was coming toward you. That's when you got nervous, and you gripped your hands together to hide their quaking.

"Yuta told me. I…I needed to show you something before everyone else gets here." He pulled his phone from his back pocket, and you glanced up at his face to see his clearly upset expression. He tapped on the device, and you heard an audio recording start.

"Can you help me or not?"

Yuta?

"I can, but what's in it for me?"

Was that…Jinyu?

"I'll make it so you can leave. Get out of here." "What do you want me to do?" "Come up with the plan yourself but figure out a way for the other four Sakuras to get expelled." "Can't you do it yourself?" "Not without a reason. Public image and shit. I really don't care about the rest of them, I just want Hiyomi. Can you do it?" "Probably. You wanted me to drag Jingxian too, right?" "Please. She's gotten on my last fucking nerve. She has to know about Hiyomi and Kun, why else would she be such a bitch?" "I know that's it. What was the last thing she did again?" "Something petty, poured bleach on her favorite dress. I got her a new one and she didn't even notice, but…" "How many things have you replaced?" "Like seventeen or something crazy. Those are just the ones she doesn't know I did, too." "You know, if you weren't my cousin, I wouldn't do this." "Bullshit, you know that's not why. We're only second cousins." "I'm serious, Yuta. I couldn't care less about the others." "Even Kun?" "Kind of hard to like your future husband when you're a lesbian."

It was clear there was more to the recording, but he cut it off. You were silent for some time, trying to process everything you just heard. You stumbled and Kun quickly pocketed his phone and reached out to stabilize you, then led you to the couch.

"Did…did Yuta know what the plan was?"

"I doubt it. But…it still was partly because of him." You slumped against the back cushion, resting your cheek on it, mind swirling. Your hat fell from its place, and you just pulled it all the way off.

"W-what do you make of it?" You needed more information; your emotions were so turbulent you couldn't even decide for yourself what to feel.

"Well…I know Jingxian was such a bitch because I like you." He just straight out admitted it and your body froze, your default response. He must have noticed the jolt you gave as your body stiffened and his hand went to your chin, prompting you to look up at him. Being so close to him, it took your breath away, he was even more stunning up close. And his eyes were so gentle and warm, not the same sharp heat you normally got from Yuta.

"Honestly, early on I tried to get Yuta to let you go, so I could have you instead, but he refused." Kun sighed, then huffed with dry amusement, "I'll admit I'm a little crazy when it comes to you."

"Birds of a feather…" You mumbled and he let your face go and you just slumped against the couch again.

"You know how Yuta gets you two presents for your birthday?"

"One's from you, huh?" You guessed accurately it seemed.

"How-"

"A few years back, I overhead your friends in the hall. They said that you made Jingxian replace my signed book. I know my bag was from you. Looking at it now, those gifts make a lot more sense. They would be so different from each other. Yuta would get me a pretty set of earrings and a necklace, but then there would be a full book series. Or instead of nice shoes, it would be a galaxy print. The year-long pass to the planetarium?" Kun was more of an intellectual than Yuta for sure, he was the only one of the princes that went to college. That was part of the reason you liked him so much, he was more similar to you than anyone else there. You knew that even with the restricted amount of time you had around each other.

"How did you get that recording?" You asked when it seemed he was struggling to find a response. He glanced up at you, head still bowed, dirty blonde bangs falling over his brow.

"Jinyu sent it to me with a caveat. She made me promise that you wouldn't press charges against her. She doesn't mind the expulsion, would welcome it…"

"Did you know that she was…?"

"Yeah. She told me early on."

"Yes, it was her idea, but… Yuta prompted her, and if you promised her that, I'll respect it." Your expression hardened then, so quickly it made Kun raise his brow in surprise.

"I can't believe him. I know…" You swallowed hard, "I guess he did it because he loves me. Or that might be what he says, but for all this time…" You exhaled hard through your nose, brow furrowing.

"Yes, I want to get back at the girls even past kicking them out, pressing legal charges. They put me through so much shit for so long…And I shouldn't be this mad at Yuta, but… I want to get back at him too." Your last sentence was much quieter, you felt ashamed of your rage toward him, but that recording just bubbled everything over. You looked up then, fully to make eye contact with Kun.

"I just…I don’t know how. Help me?" The other prince hummed, leaning into the back cushion himself, looking pensive.

"I shouldn't be as sadistic as I want…" Your phone alarm went off then, meaning the others would be coming rather soon.

"Think on it, I'll go with what you plan." You told him, standing to adjust your clothes. Stepping over to a mirror, you put your hat back on, fixing your rumpled hair as well. The king was coming too after all. As you primped, Kun stepped up behind you so you could see him in the reflection as well. He wasn't any taller than Yuta, but that did still put him nearly a head taller than you since you weren't in heels. You gasped, watching his arms wrap around you from behind, his cheek pressing against the side of your head. The black fabric of his sleeve smelled amazing, like him of course. Your heart started to beat so hard you were sure he could hear it, maybe even feel it where his chest met your back.

"Tell me, what does Hiyomi mean? Do you know?"

"Something with sunlight and beauty." You had learned Japanese in your training, but that didn't mean you knew name etymology. Yuta had mentioned it before though.

"How do you like Yuhua?" You assumed it was something similar…was he already thinking of picking a different name for you? Honestly, it was the next best after your birthname.

"Perfect." You whispered and nearly whined when he pulled away abruptly, the door opening not even thirty seconds later. Your posture immediately corrected itself, and you bowed your head as the King entered, followed by Yuta, then the six girls were escorted in by a few of the royal guards. Though, they looked more like federal agents…

"Sit." One of them ordered and the clearly dismayed girls followed. There was still evidence of mascara running and their faces were blotchy and red. They weren't in their fancy clothes either, having been dressed in clothes similar to the uniforms worn as trainees. Plain pleated skirts and button ups with a cardigan. For once, you weren't the plainest dressed one in the room, and you felt more smug than angry looking over them.

"Come here, child." The king prompted and you stepped to his side at his prompting, head still bowed to avoid looking at his face. You didn't notice the glare Yuta had sent Kun's way when he realized he had arrived there early. And that he had access to you without your prince being there as well.

"Tell them, Hiyomi." He motioned with his hand, and you turned to face them fully. They were clearly shocked by your cold gaze, and your eyes met Jinyu's. She looked significantly less nervous, and it was clear she was putting on an act.

"Expel them, please, your highness." The five other girls had various reactions, all forced down and if glares could kill, Jingxian would succeed in her mission.

"Of course. Now, you six. Apologize." The King's tone was hard, and the girls shakily stood and moved to face you. They clearly didn't want to do what followed, but they had little choice. They fell slowly to their knees, and bowed low, foreheads on their hands pressed to the floor. You barely registered the clearly scripted words they spoke, and you turned to look over your shoulder at the princes. Your gaze first went to Yuta, and it was clear he had no idea that you knew everything. He gave you his classic smile, but it just pissed you off then. You then looked at Kun and he gave a subtle nod.

"Jinyu can go." You then noted and the King was curious why you only let her go, but he allowed it. He knew there was something unspoken since Jinyu seemed to sag in relief as she left.

"We'll tell them the rest, father. Would you mind leaving us to it?" Kun stepped forward and his father turned to look back at him. They exchanged something unspoken through their gaze.

"Very well." He nodded and he left along with the guards, who stayed stationed outside the door as it closed.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta stepped up closer, but you ignored him, going to where the girls had sat back down. The other Sakuras looked a bit more nervous, but Jingxian was steaming. All of her hard work over the years, desperate to get whatever wealth and power she could, gone. The sneer she shot you pissed you off, hand flying up without thought, smacking her hard enough to snap her head to the side. She just sat there, not looking back at you. Not sure what to say to them, you turned and looked at Kun who was in the same spot, a little behind his slightly older brother. A smug look fell on his face, and he stepped around the other prince, shedding his letterman-style jacket and laying it on the table. You wanted to swoon as he rolled the sleeves of his white button-up, so they bunched above his elbows. Paired with his watch and the ring he had on his index finger, it was so little, but so hot. Yuta must have noticed how your expression changed, recognized it even, but you knew it was different than anything you gave him.

Kun sidled up next to you and he raised a brow, silently asking if you were ready. You nodded so slightly, with a tiny hum and you gasped as his hand grabbed your chin. The move was a bit rough, but your gasp was of delight, not fear or shock. His eyes were still warm, and he had the sexy grin back, your thighs twitched along with your core.

"You know, it’s a shame that only Yuta could get a girl so good." His grip softened, and he cupped your jaw instead. The room was so quiet you could hear Jingxian's jaw clench and made her teeth grind against each other. Kun's face was so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips.

"Kun, what are you-" Yuta started, coming closer.

"But it's also a shame that she got stuck with him." His tone was incredibly patronizing, derisive and you just took the chance to bask in his presence and attention as he pulled his phone back out, stepping back slightly. He still had the audio clip paused where he left it off before, and you saw then it was half-way through.

"At least you only have to deal with one guy. He also knows. I have to get it up for four other sluts I couldn't care less for."

 The four other Sakuras gasped, and your eyes flicked to look at Kun's phone, but his hand at your jaw turned you back to focus on him. It was hard to get mad with the following audio while looking over him, so close to you. You didn't even care to look and see what Yuta's expression was. He had frozen, just behind his half-brother, almost scared to move.

"Viagra?" "No, I just pretend they're Hiyomi. Hard to do though. Eiko's so fucking annoying and won't shut up. Sounds like a bad porno. Aikiro still doesn't know what the fuck she's doing even after training for a year and more. Yumi has no stamina and is selfish to boot. Keiho-"

Your eyes flicked to the phone again, waiting for him to finish. It seemed he paused to take a drink or something, because the audio kept progressing.

"Keiho is a fraud. She thinks I don't know that she goes to Ten's little orgies or whatever. I know she's slept with half of the guard too."

All the girls looked at Keiho then, her cheeks that were bright red with anger were now horribly pale.

"She acts like she wants stuff vanilla, loving. I know she can only get satisfied with two cocks in her."

Kun shut it off then, only a few seconds left but you had heard enough. How dare he criticize Keiho when he was the one that brought his friends in to fuck you at the same time? Did he think it would be flattering that he only thinks of you when he's with the others?

"Hiyomi-" Yuta tried to start, and you wanted to push around Kun, smack his stupid pretty face. But you trusted the other prince to come up with the best thing he could. He already tore down the girls, that much was obvious from their faces and the devastated looks they sent Yuta.

"Despite his supposed love for you, sweetheart, it’s a shame you don't feel the same." Since it wasn't directed at you, and it would still be incredibly hot if it was, the smug sadistic grin he had riled you up all the more. Kun hummed, prompting you to respond and he chuckled at the dazed look you had.

"No, I don't." It was like he was some kind of drug; your thoughts were foggy, and you needed more of him. He had taken out the girls, they looked like all the fight had been ripped from them, slumped on the couch. It had hit Yuta too, but not enough, not yet. Though, Kun needed to finish Jingxian first.

"Do you know how hard it was for me? From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. The only reason I was going to choose Jingxian was because I hate her. I couldn't live with myself if you weren't my wife, my princess, but I didn't want to hurt the other girls. They didn't deserve the hurt like her. She's a horrible human being and she seemed all the worse compared to you, (Y/N)." Hearing him say your real name again did it, you were head over heels in love with him and you thanked whatever higher being finally graced you with something good. All of the shit you had put up with came to the best moment of your life, knowing Kun wanted you just as badly as you wanted him. Even if you both knew it was crazy, even sick; at least you could be lovesick together. The final hit to the girls, hidden from Yuta since Kun blocked you from his sight, was the extremely gentle kiss he pressed to your forehead, followed by him gently brushing his nose over yours.

"Guards, take them to the police." The prince let your chin go, just enough so he could step back so as not to shout in your ear. The door opened and the suits came in, quite literally hauling the girls away, Jingxian now just as broken as the others.

"Only one left." You whispered when Kun came back to you. He shifted where you stood with a hand on your lower back, making you visible to Yuta then.

"Show him you're mine." He told you and it seemed your minds were linked. At graduation, each girl would kneel before the prince and swear their loyalty, almost like being coronated. You sank to your knees, but you looked up at him instead. The normally practiced display of reverence for a girl's monarch was corrupted by the desire you looked at him with, and he you. You were submitting to him as a man, not as a higher-up, nor a prince. He grinned when your hands gripped his belt, not moving to remove it, but the implication was clear-

"You fucker." Yuta shot forward, hand burying in Kun's shirt and yanking him away from you. You flinched back as Kun was pulled away and you quickly stood as the brothers stared each other down.

"You lost, Yuta. Move on, she's mine now. Ready to abdicate?" You flinched back with a gasp, hands covering your mouth as Yuta's fist moved toward his brother's face. Kun deftly moved his head the little bit he had to for the blow to miss.

"Wait!" You tried to weasel your way between them before the elder landed a punch on the younger. Even though they were the same height, Kun was bigger, Yuta had a hard time gaining any kind of bulk and he looked like a twig next to the other prince. While he wasn't the most muscular man you knew, he was outright perfect to you, and it was clear he was strong because Yuta barely budged him with his tug on his shirt, he moved with the pull. That was beside the point… You got back at Yuta, what happened was enough, you could tell by the hurt etched into his face. Your anger had immediately dissipated, a better solution hitting your mind. Neither of them knew you had heard the full conversation the day before, but that didn't change that you had.

"Don't abdicate. You already are losing your harem, but you told Kun to only have me, right?" Both men were clearly shocked that at your words and you took the chance to shove Yuta off, standing in front of Kun, clearly in a show of protection. Like you could really do anything…

"Y-yes." Your prince's voice was soft and rough. He didn't deserve how much you really wanted to wreck him. Your rationality had kicked in, logic taking over, he was already defeated.

"We’ll tell the press that the other four turned against me because I didn't want to be involved with you. Turn it on me. You take the three from Kun, and I go to him. You're second born, you can't just give up those rights-"

"(Y/N), I don't want to be a prince without you as my princess." Your chin quivered a bit at his tone, his eyes glassy.

"And I don't want to be a princess without Kun as my prince." You countered. You needed to break his heart for him to let you go. You didn’t turn to look at the other man even though Yuta's eyes flashed to look over your shoulder.

"Take the other three, add two more from wherever, do whatever. Wouldn't you rather move on and find someone else than love me and know I don't feel the same? If you love something let it go? Do you think I want to be restricted to you, when I love someone else?"

"You love him?" You didn't respond to his question. It wasn't the real definition of love, it wasn't that pure, but you had some twisted loyalty to Kun that you never did for Yuta.

"Do you love me?" You pushed back. You weren't sure, it seemed somewhat like you were a trophy, a luxury item that he might adore, but…

"You're supposed to be mine." He didn't answer the question. Not directly.

"You don't love me, I’m just your favorite. You liked that I didn't fight the other girls tooth and nail just to get your attention. You liked the challenge. If you really cared you would have told me all the shit that Jingxian did, and the others, I'm sure. You never even bothered to learn who I was, getting me pretty, girly things. You played up the romance but never did anything I liked with me. I might have been in your bed the most, but I wasn't in your heart."

"And you were in Kun's?" Yuta nearly spat, not trying to defend himself, because you were right.

"What's her favorite thing?" The man behind you cut in and you turned to look at him. You didn't answer, genuinely curious if Yuta knew, because he never acted on it…

"Books."

"Wrong. Space. She goes out at night to watch the stars. All her books are science-fiction. Her favorite sweatshirt is of the milky way and if there's ever a special event at the planetarium, she's there." How did he know all of that? The other prince was silent, clearly not sure what to do or say next. His eyes went back to you, and you couldn't meet his look, and stepped closer to Kun.

"Favorite animal?" Kun continued.

"Dogs-"

"Goats. She just can't have one as a pet, she asked. The keychain on her bag is a goat. So is the plushie she takes with her on out-of-country flights. She tells people she likes dogs because it's more accepted.”

"Her favorite color is dark purple because it looks like the night sky. She loves snow but hates rain. She's the only girl fluent in all four languages. She hates moths and loves fireflies." He kept going and you wondered how he knew all that. Though…it was all things that were more or less common knowledge, things your friends knew. It wasn't creepy, just observant, and it should be things Yuta knew. But, based on his face, he really didn't.

"He loves planes. He took lessons to learn to fly one. He loves cats but doesn't have one because Lumei is allergic. He wears a lot of black and white, but he always uses a blue pen because he likes blue too. He hates cold weather; he knows how to cook, and he even is scared of butterflies." You smiled softly, realizing all the things he knew about you, you pretty much knew about him as well. It was things you overheard while near him or figured out by watching him from afar. After an uncomfortable silence, you finally looked up to meet Yuta's gaze.

"I'll go talk to father. I'll… if you ever break her heart, I'll fucking kill you." The prince exhaled, seeming to get some kind of closure and he stepped closer, reaching for you. Midway though, his hand stopped, and his eyes flicked to the side, at your earrings.

"They're moons." He noticed.

"Yes." Your voice was quiet, and the prince dropped his hand, cast one more look to his brother, and left. Watching him go was…a relief. You thought you might feel something else, be a little sad, or hurt, but you just felt at ease. As you turned to face Kun once more, he was already there, his hands at your jaw and he pulled you to him, kissing you so hard your teeth clashed against his. The force of him pulling you into him knocked your hat off, falling to the floor. You whimpered, hands holding his wrists as you try to meet his fervor. Your butt hit the table when he turned you with his leg wedging between yours. One hand left your jaw to cup the back of your head, blunt nails scratching your scalp. The other hand found its way to your waist, then his arm snaked around your middle, helping you up to sit on the table. Kun finally pulled away, both of you panting and your dazed eyes met his sharp ones.

"Fuck." He sighed, leaning forward and resting his forehead on your shoulder. His hands rested on the table, holding him up so he didn't rest his full weight on you, and he stood there for a while. You pressed your cheek to his soft hair, basking in him finally being so close to you. Slowly, you brought your arms up, shaking, and wrapped them around his shoulders. The hug was quickly returned, Kun enveloping you back, and you pressed your face into his chest. With your ear over his heart, you closed your eyes, listening to it beat, soaking in the scent of his cologne. Neither of you really wanted to pull back, but never-the-less did so. He took your hands in his, bringing them up so he could kiss them.

"I need to talk to father as well, sweetheart," his hand cupped your cheek, thumb rubbing your soft skin, "wait for me."

Due to formalities and legalities, you weren't Kun's right away. Because of all the rules, you both were moved into a guest house more or less, still on the royal campus, but not one of the official palaces. You had to wait for nearly a week as the ministers convened, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Taeyong remained the heir and was the only one that kept the harem as promised. Yuta didn't abdicate, but he didn't rebuild his harem either. He ended up moving to Japan then, becoming the ambassador for that part of the empire. Kun adopted most of his roles and rights, and it was well received by the public that he wanted to marry for love instead. He wasn't the heir, so the ministers didn't mind too much. Ten had some of his privileges revoked when it was revealed how debaucherously he was living, but he didn't mind. Doyoung too gave up his harem, minus Gyuri. A lot of things changed fast, but it was welcome. Finally, once everything was official, you stood in the middle of the foyer of your new home, watching people mill about as they moved the final things in. Looking around, you startled when someone snuck up behind you, hugging you.

"It's done, sweetheart." Kun nuzzled behind your ear, and you bit your lip, giggling.

"Once everyone leaves, I'm going to take you, since your mine now."

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[mx-piggy]

Just finished season 1 of the Afterparty and I felt like writing my thoughts about it. I'd also love to chat with other people about this show, so feel free to comment, rb or DM me! Spoilers ahead!

I'm definitely going to have to rewatch it at some point (maybe after season 2 is fully out, so I can watch them back-to-back), because I want to see how everything plays out in hindsight, and see what details I can pick up on.

I started watching this show because I saw a gif from the most recent episode in season 2 ('Hannah', I think) and it looked kinda gay. That's how I started watching the Last of Us. And many other shows. I'm a lonely, desperate queer.

Overall, I really enjoyed it! I'm a fan of all the genres it combined, and I think they worked really well together. I feel like, even if you don't gel well with the comedy, the compelling mystery and characters make it worth a watch. I loved the format of having a different sort of genre in each episode, with my favourite styles being Chelsea and Yasper. And, I adore unreliable narrators.

The only episode I went into knowing the genre (or in Zoe's case, the medium) were Aniq and Zoe, but I correctly guessed that Brett was going to have an action-style 'movie', Yasper's was going to be a musical, Chelsea's was going to be a thriller kind of movie and that Maggie's was going to be kiddie-fied. Guessing the genre's not an achievement though, despite my sense of pride.

I didn't correctly guess the killer until I did my thing of reading a reader-insert fic just before the finale, and a line in there (something to do with 'keeping secrets') made me think 'oh shit'. It wasn't necessarily a spoiler, but it did make it click for me, and I noticed things in the finale leading up to the reveal, like Yasper being absent from when Aniq woke up. Before that spoiler, though, I guessed it was probably Walt, though I did suspect he was just a red herring. Part of me also had this crack theory that it'd be a 'Who Shot Mr. Burns' thing where Maggie killed him by accident (funny how they share the same name), or that she'd witnessed Xavier fall accidentally.

Speaking of which, I think the conclusion was satisfying and made sense in the way Danner explained it. I'm hoping it'll hold up on rewatch- I'm guessing it will. It made sense, and I think it's impressive for this kind of comedy show to commit to having one of their charismatic main characters being the killer, instead of copping out and make it be someone we don't really care about. Well, I cared about Yasper at the very least. He was one of my favourite characters, and I'm very sad that he's probably rotting in prison. But, I'm glad he had his moment of fame.

Since this is fiction, I'm allowed to say 'fair enough' to Yasper murdering Xavier. I think everyone at that party should have been more grateful to Yasper for getting rid of him. (/lh) Though I think it would have been hilarious if everyone was actually grateful, instead of them all celebrating that the killer had been caught. That said, even though I love Yasper and I condone what he did, it felt kinda nice for Danner's investigation to be celebrated, even though I'm not a fan of cops.

That said, I do have a small issue with the finale that is entirely personal to me and my preferences, and this could easily be fixed if I wrote an angsty fanfiction like I normally do. So, my problem is that I wish that the revelation of what Yasper did had more of an emotional impact on Aniq. I know that they haven't spoken in two years prior to that night, but they were best friends in high school, and I think it's kind of dismissive that they went straight from 'Aniq feels betrayed that his friend would do something like this' to 'now he's kissing Zoe in the car'. I know it's a comedy and it'd be weird for the season to end on such a depressing note, especially since in the end the murder isn't taken that seriously by Yasper (in a scene I sincerely enjoyed and felt kind of happy for him in). Speaking of which, I read some analysis on Yasper and the perception of success in terms of careers that was really interesting and I'll link here, so that kind of makes that scene a little sad because Yasper would rather be an infamous killer than a guy with a successful career. But, y'know it's a comedy so I'll try not to think about that or I'll be sad.

Now I'll get onto the characters, specifically the main ones. I like them all as characters. I'll only go into depth about the characters who get an episode named after them, Xavier and Walt.

Aniq is really charismatic, and I think he's a fun main character to have even if he's not the most interesting necessarily. I think it makes sense to have such a puzzle-oriented character as the main character in a murder mystery. Plus, he's a genuinely nice guy, so it makes it so you don't want to see him get sent to prison. I'm pretty sure he's the main character of season 2 as well, so I'm happy to see him return.

I really like Zoe, too! I was worried that she would just be 'the artsy, perfect love interest' that you see in teen movies, so I really liked to see her story of struggling with who she is and what she wants. It really resonated with me, and her episode was really interesting to watch. Personally, her episode reminded me a little of BoJack Horseman (the show, not the character). I don't really understand why her episode has such a harsh rating on IMDB, because I think the storytelling and use of animation to further characterise and flesh out Zoe was really effective.

I like Zoe and Aniq's relationship too, and I think that's really impressive because of how I struggle to get on board with canon relationships in rom-coms. A lot of the time, it feels like I'm watching a kid holding their Barbie and Ken dolls in either hand and repeating 'don't you think they should kiss?' But, with Aniq and Zoe, they had genuine chemistry (no pun intended) and they both work as individual characters outside of their relationship.

Yasper is one of my favourite characters in the show, probably second to a character I'll get onto in a minute. I think he's a great subversion of the 'best friend hypeman' trope, where he actually has motivations and goals outside of his best friend. I was worried that his character was going to just be the 'oblivious loudmouth best friend', and, like with Zoe, I was thankfully proven wrong. He was a delightfully complex character who did the world a service. I can't be bothered to analyse him in the detail I'd like to, so all I'll say is that I am going to spend some time tomorrow reading some angsty Yasper fics.

So, my favourite character in the show was Chelsea, and I'm honestly so in love with her it's insane. Her character was so complex and interesting, and on a personal level she was really easy to empathise with. I knew early on that she wasn't the killer, and that she was just a fucked up woman who deserved so much better in life. It made me so happy to see her making amends with Zoe, and to see how nice Yasper and Aniq were to her, because all she really needed was to escape the high schooler judgement and be afforded some compassion and kindness. And, I found it simultaneously heartbreaking and heartwarming that she was so used to the feeling of being judged and ostracised that she didn't get revenge on Xavier and wrote that apology on Aniq's hand for him drinking her cat roofies. Her arc was the most satisfying to watch for me. I'm devastated that she's only in season 1 (though I get it from a narrative standpoint). Hoping she will live on through fanfiction.

Brett was also a surprise to me, because I assumed he was just going to be a total loser who thinks he's a badass and that's it. But, I really like how he was actually a decent dad to Maggie as well. Like, sure, you shouldn't leave your kid alone in a car for a prolonged period or speed when your kid's in the car (or at all), but still. It was really sweet to see the joy on Maggie's face when her dad was living out some Fast and the Furious fantasy. And, I like how the motivation of his episode was to get the koala back. It made me giggle.

Danner was a really interesting character to watch. Again, I'm not a fan of cops, but I personally feel like her character is well-done. She's someone working against a shitty system as best she can. She'll do what's right as opposed to staying in favour with her colleagues who believe in protecting their own than pursuing true justice. I like how she's very unconventional in her approach, where she knows she'll find something relevant in seemingly unnecessary details. It makes her a really interesting investigative character. Plus, I really like Danner's personality; she's also a very charismatic character, minus the being a cop thing.

Walt wasn't my favourite character but I still liked him enough. It was kinda depressing (in a fun way, though) at times to see him be so overlooked by his peers. I thought it was funny that, in Maggie's version of events, he's a puppet who just says 'Walt'. And, I liked that he's so overlooked that his designated episode (High School) isn't named after him and we don't really get his perspective as much as we did with the other characters. It fit a lot with the outcast, background role of the character, where his own party, his own story isn't even about him. It was nice that they remembered his name in the end.

Maggie is so precious to me fr. She's such a sweet kid and I want to adopt her. Her joy is so infectious.

Now onto Xavier. As a character, Xavier was really incredible. As a person, I'm overjoyed that someone took the initiative to dispose of him. His relationship with Yasper was so interesting, and I like that we got to see his origins as a kinda dorky teenager who wants to reinvent himself and is heartbroken 'heterosexually' when his best friend wants to break up their band. So much so that he gets into a fight with the guy his best friend definitely isn't in love with. But, he fucked over my darling Chelsea and my guy Aniq. He makes shitty music. The only good thing he ever did was make Maggie's favourite movie. Overall, he is basically Jamie Tartt, if Jamie was murdered before he could become the man we all know and love today. I mean, neither of them wear shirts under their suits, and Dave Franco and Phil Dunster have some physical similarities.

I'm really looking forward to watching season 2 and to rewatching the whole show. And to reading some angsty Aniq/Yasper/Xavier fanfics. And to hopefully finding some fanart to reblog. I need to consume fan content for this show and these characters. Especially Chelsea.

[youngjustus]

raven’s name has technically been rachel roth for 20 years too but im not fucking calling her that lmao…idk for me it’s partially 1) fuck johns and the way he sought to completely change kon’s character and spit in the face of all his prior development just to make his stupid fan theory canon 2) having a character go from going by kon to conner is like going from tim to timothy. why make it longer, yfeel? and 3) 50% of the people who call him conner misspell it as connor, which would be fine (annoying, but ultimately harmless) except dc already has a connor, and i’m vehemently against dc’s inability to come up with an original name for any of their characters. hashtag team jon should’ve been given literally any other name bc there’s already like 6 jonathan kents

i know there is a lot to criticize about johns's run, but i honestly don't find a lot of things with what he did with conner leading up to his death in infinite crisis in terms of characterization to be out of character. although, full disclosure, i haven't revisited teen titans vol. 3 in [checks calendar] 7 years, so there might be some gaps in my memory.

i like that he's getting used to having an actual structured life with going to school and living in a house with parents that care about him. he's also still dealing with the aftermath of the finale of his solo series and graduation day! he's adjusting! it would be normal for him to feel weird and off. this is a post that i made a few years ago with a good addition from another user that puts this well.

however, i do generally dislike the luthor reveal because of how many stories that came after for conner have so heavily focused on it, when a) we already did something similar in the 90's with his original backstory and b) it contributes to one of the most annoying fan discourses i've had to see for my entire comics reading experience regarding superman being a 'dead beat dad'. unfortunately, at this point, it is a part of canon that is ingrained in too many fans and writers' heads, and is tied into too many plot lines for them to go away with it. such is the nature of a shared intellectual property! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i think i'm probably misreading what you're saying, but kon isn't short for conner, and i don't think tim's full name is a good comparison. they’re two separate names. i've posted about the origin's of the name kon-el a few times over the years, and i even have the issue where he receives it in my personal comic collection. it is a very important part of the character's history, and a good thing to point to when people doubt the positive relationship between conner and superman. the name is one with real history, and it is a gift!

this is where my own headcanons and speculation comes in: it makes the most amount of sense to me that conner is a name that he specifically chose himself when he was adopted by the kents.

if somehow i missed a random issue of superman or action comics from between when his superboy series was canceled to him showing up in teen titans that gives an origin to the civilian name conner kent, or even just an interview with the creatives discussing the issue the name first shows up in, please send it my way!

if such a comic or interview does not exist, and if i ever had the chance to write the character, this is 100% something i'd like to explore. i have my own ideas that i've thought about a lot over the years (and even a middle name picked, too).

i also think that there are much bigger problems with dc comics than a few characters sharing a first name. like a lot more problems.

conner is his name as much as it is kon, and it's not wrong to call him it in the way that it's not wrong to refer to superman as clark or kal. the comparison at the start of this ask to raven is interesting, but i think the key difference there is that rachel roth feels like a regression (she's deaged and put in high school) and to me conner kent is further growth (being with the family that wants him in their lives).

[p6-rem]

In Summary of what is going on with Midori

So I received a question on my original post about Midori asking "What happened?". This post isn't something I would normally do as I want my community to just have fun and remain a safe space. But, that's precisely why I'm writing this, so it remains safe.

To clear up, no, nothing happened between me and Midori, who is actually MysticDistance, personally. I kinda looked up to Midori from a level of respect, all the leaks got me very excited for Persona 6, for when it does come out, I admired that they went to such lengths for the hardcore fans. Midori was one of the key reasons as to why I started my own Persona 6 concept series on Tumblr in the first place.

When I made the initial post, I was kinda in a spiral of emotions from all this and just posted my initial thoughts without thinking much of it, but looking back at it, I was also dealing with some IRL stuff at the time that may have had an impact on the way I've been feeling about the situation. So I'm going to try my best to brief everyone on the situation without any prior feelings to cloud my wording.

Who is Midori? :

Midori is actually someone who was a part of Persona Twitter back in the day, known as MysticDistance, who was also a writer for Persona Central. Going forward I will be referring to Midori as MysticDistance.

MysticDistance was a friend of a user named Phan-site, an influential member of the community at the time who was involved in a number of controversial topics such as talking smack to 15 year old, saying the N-word, and most notably, he sent death threats to Mystic, who got Phan-site cancelled.

What is also notable to add is Mystic, while operating as Midori, was pretending to be a Japanese woman who spoke in broken English who said he was practicing to give us the leaks, and it turns out that is not true and he's just a white man pretending to be a Japanese girl.

And this is where things got weird.

The rumours :

A document was also posted on Reddit but the moderators sniped it down, it was thankfully brought to Twitter by a user named TailsGuy92 who said, and quote ;

"Normally, I'd ignore it but I read it and there's definitive proof of some stuff. Read it"

At first I was like "Oh is Midori coming out as trans or were they just trying to hide their identity better as a leaker?", and as I said in the initial post about this, it isn't okay to lie to your audience, even if it is about your gender. Now I may have not said anything about myself regarding my personal life, including my gender identity, but I like it like that and I don't feel as though my gender would really make that much of a difference, however claiming you are one thing when you are not is both misleading to your audience and, in the case of pretending to be Japanese and using broken English to better sell the persona, kinda insensitive.

After this, someone on Twitter by the name of Zacxix who claimed Mystic used them as his personal therapist at the age of 17, and another victim came forward who was 16 at the time when Mystic messaged them, or at least Zacxix, during COVID. Apparently he was being very creepy with them, basically trying to groom them, and when they said they weren't interested, Mystic would put together a sad sob story to try and maintain contact and abused them through messages. Zacxix also posted receipts on Twitter to confirm all of this. Albeit, the only receipt was of a DM between two people who claimed all of this and have no other definitive proof, I will only consider this as "alleged" proof for now as the user seems to be butt hurt about it, I only read the first Tweet before digging into this rabbit hole.

Then a user by the name of SonicRaiderG7 posted on Twitter that Mystic responded to the grooming allegations. Posting screenshots of Mystic saying that he is toxic and a manipulator in his relationship but wasn't a pedo, now I could say I could believe one party or the other, but considering how much Mystic has lied about now, I kinda don't know what to believe at this point unless more proof comes out. But even if he is a liar, I shouldn't have jumped the gun and called him a pedo either without the definite proof, but again, this is just his word saying he isn't one and no other proof from either side. Mystic also said that even if he was gonna apologize people wouldn't believe him. I mean, not unless you can prove otherwise.

And why would you even acknowledge it instead of dismiss it if you know it's not true and you can easily just fight back with your own proof? Again, I take this with a huge grain of salt and I shouldn't have jumped the gun and I'm sorry for that, but there's just that "what if" in my mind that's telling me otherwise.

Not only this, and this is probably the least important part, but Mystic claimed to have the account of Midori only being run by him, when in fact it was a whole group who was in charge of it. And he also grabbed the leaks from Reddit sources and somehow got his hands on insider documents from Nintendo. Again, least relevant thing here.

People were hyping up this individual so much, people really thought "Midori" was one of the good people. They thought she was the best person in the world, when in fact he is not.

So then, more people started coming out, saying that Mystic is dangerous, he's a snake and no better than Phan-site. Just basically calling out this individual and saying they are just a horrible human being in general. I mean, sure, it's one thing for one or two people to say this, but a whole bunch of people? Maybe not exactly calling this person a pedo but just proving and saying he's absolutely horrific.

What makes this even more unbelievable, is that Mystic was planning to retire as Midori days before all of this even kick-started out of fear that he'd be "discovered", and if you had seen the original most you probably would think "Oh because ATLUS is on to her!", no, there was probably something else going on which resulted in this whole exposé and Mystic didn't want anyone from his audience to know what he'd done.

"Midori" even responded on Twitter, quoting :

"I will not deny the rumoured information that the account that has been known to many as Midori (MbKKssTBHz5) is indeed MysticDistance.

I think many have been aware of this for a long time now, but if they were, they chose to say nothing. I appreciate that."

"The rumours of my identity that have started to spread and will continue to spread recently are correct information.

It is only ironic that I am corroborating that will almost assuredly end the long journey that has been had with this account"

"When I made this account, I wasn't thinking of a gender or even a region for the 'person' for this account. The intention was not to fool people into thinking I am an employee to get inside information on ATLUS or SEGA titles. This is why I do not refer to myself as a leaker."

KaptainKOnYT posted on Twitter this alleged deleted tweet, that says, and quote :

"This account was also used by a group.

I was not the main user of this account in a very long time, since the time the document in the callout post was made.

But the template for this account was indeed created by me"

It just proves that he is so self-centred that he isn't even ashamed of this. People even started comparing Mystic, or well, "Midori", to Tinafate and Lulubuu.

Conclusion:

Mystic is not sorry for what he has done to people, he will not apologise for any of it. I don't think what I'll say will have that much of a huge impact because I'm still sitting here wondering "Wtf happened to make all of these people go crazy?". Again, I'm not on Twitter at all unless it's to look at some fanart that a friend sent me or something.

But I have taken down any and all posts concerned about Midori.

I'd rather be safe than sorry and that goes for my community that I'm trying to build up and even the Persona community as a whole.

Now this will be my last post about Midori and the matter at hand and I hope I caught you up to speed on this. Stay safe.

[anoddopal]

🐰 Thoughts: [Pre]Alabasta/Alabasta Arc

[WAIT A SECOND OFFICER! I CAN EXPLAIN MYSELF! ➡️ The ritalin tells me what to write and I just spew out nonsense as it comes to me. Anyway, here goes a stim-induced attempt to express a bit more about how these two became an item.]

[POSSIBLE TW: One mention of n00dity, also kinda ominous language towards the end... Listen he's a liar but aside from that they go on to have a very unproblematic relationship!! He just has to be knocked down a peg first!!]

It all starts when Bun-Bun Silva is hired at Rain Di.nners [not Bar.oque Works] to care for the Banana Gators/Ban.anawani that surround the establishment. Prior to her filling the role, it was a difficult position to fill. A job like that isn't exactly an opportunity many people would jump at-- save for a smiling local who seems much more interested in staring at the beasts during the hiring process than looking another human directly in the eyes for longer than necessary.

She takes good care of those gators. Excellent care. She’s happy to show up to her job and do whatever is needed. There’s never a complaint from her end. A bit of a quiet enigma- Silva doesn’t talk much to anyone she crosses paths with at the casino, staff or otherwise. As he does with all of his employees, Cro.codile keeps tabs on her, especially since she’s responsible for the health of his beloved pets. Sometimes the warlord overhears her chattering away to herself/the ban.anawani… she says more to them in a day than she’s ever said to any person at Rain Di.nners during the several months she’s worked there.

She has to be some sort of spy. He’s certain of it. Nobody is that enthusiastic about working with a species of animal that most people run screaming from. This is all a sad attempt to infiltrate his organization.

But after calling her into his office for a little talk he realizes that there’s nothing malicious going on. She really is just a completely innocent, if not eccentric person. And once he asserts that fact, Silva is dismissed.

Or rather, she would be under any other circumstances. Normally, Cro.codile wouldn’t bother with more one-on-one interactions. He’s not a person who entertains potential wastes of his time.

But there’s a lot more going on there than she lets out during that meeting. He can tell. He just can’t tell what it is. And that bothers him. Cro.codile can see how well she works with his pets- the gators are unusually affectionate and happy when she’s around. Silva can also be assertive with the animals, something that’s needed to maintain a safe dynamic with the apex predators. Cro.codile… appreciates that. [He’s not keen on anybody knowing but he is a big animal lover!!]

An offer for dinner is placed on the table. An offer that she almost doesn’t take. An offer that leads to a tension-filled first ‘date’. It becomes apparent to the pirate warlord that this isn’t going to be easy. Silva will not make it easy. Those big brown eyes constantly flutter over him; an attempt to figure out what’s going on in his head, just as he’s trying to figure out what’s going on in hers. Despite how sweet Silva can be, she’s equally as prone to scrutiny. There's a nervousness that radiates off of her, a hesitant wariness- she doesn't want to make any wrong moves. Yet at the same time she will not grovel or cave. Huh. In a way it almost reminds him of his own general caginess. The both of them aren’t keen on letting just anybody in. Someone has to be special for that to happen. The other party has to prove that they’re worth it.

That’s okay. Crocodile can wait and see. He's been patient over the last few years in regards to his scheme to overtake Al.abasta anyhow- why not divert a little in his free time? Everything is going according to plan. In the end, he's always in control.

The courtship undertaking is a give and take. Little tidbits of insight bubble up more and more over time. And they're... peculiar perceptions. It’s not often that somebody manages to catch his eye. And it’s certainly not normal for him to take a legitimate interest in someone who touts a lot of the traits he claims to despise.

Annoying. Weak. Soft. Pathetic. Naive. A bleeding heart.

Yet at the same time; Guarded. Private. Careful. Just a bit cynical/jaded. Even a bit of a misanthrope.

Ah... she's just enough of a realist to know that notions such as fulfilling dreams and obtaining justice are novelties few can afford. Yet her acknowledgment of how sobering reality is does little to crush her stubborn optimism. The world should have crushed someone like her long ago. And while while it certainly has bent her, she refuses to let it break her.

Humans are hypocritical in nature. Sir Cro.codile is no exception. Ironically someone like Silva - someone with so many facets he’s incapable of appreciating in others - is exactly the type of person he can trust with his life. With his secret. As a consequence of the connection between them continuing to build, that’s exactly what he ends up doing.

Silva doesn’t worship him like the hero the rest of the country thinks he is. She doesn’t shrink in terror because of his warlord status, either. Instead she’s curious about the man behind all that. Someway, somehow, she manages to point out his “positive” traits. She values his person in a way nobody ever has before. Cro.codile can’t help but let a thin lipped smile spread on his features every time they’re alone together.

When he isn’t dealing with his shady enterprise or mummifying invading pirates, he ardently seeks her out. She’s endearing to him. The way she likes to hide under his plush fur coat. The way she holds his rough, calloused hand. Hell, sometimes she even reaches out to hold his hook. When he’s trying to catch up on mundane work she often hangs out in his office, sprawled out on a chaise lounge while she babbles away about whatever is on her mind. [There are many, many conversations about animals that take place between them!] She has a penchant for sass and playful banter, but Crocodile finds himself uncharacteristically unbothered by it. There’s something about her audacity that he finds amusing. He hardly minds the misguided nagging. Something lurches in his chest when she places tiny kisses along the length of his facial scar. There’s probably a corny phase to insert here about how pirates adore their treasure, but in Cro.codile’s case? He absolutely covets her. If anyone dared made her feel uncomfortable he’d reduce them to nothing more than a dried out husk.

Silva makes him feel so… so… well, she makes him feel. There’s a certain kind of power she holds over him; the power to worm her way into his thoughts, his life, his heart…

… How did this happen? How could he have let himself become so weak? He’d resent her if he didn’t love her so much.

It wasn’t supposed to play out like this. He wasn’t supposed to get in this deep. She was an anomaly; not part of the plan. This has all gone too far. She doesn’t even know about his master scheme- Cro.codile makes sure he keeps his work life and his love life separate. Silva only knows as much as the general population of Al.abasta does as far as his profession goes. He’s smart enough to know that she’d recoil from him if she knew that he was methodically bringing her homeland to ruination. It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie, he figures. How ironic was it - that the very person who knew the absolute most about him - had no idea as to what would occur because of him in the near future?

She’ll know soon enough, he tells himself. On that night she’s curled up next to him in bed, with nothing but his green fur coat to cover her naked form. A pretty gemstone ring glimmers on her left ring finger; opal and rose gold, just like she told him she wanted. All Crocodile can do is reflect over how she managed to best him. A feat that nobody before her had ever been able to achieve. His vision for the future changed the very minute she came into his life. He can admit that [to himself]... Part of him was aware of that from the very beginning.

That doesn’t mean his objective to usurp the Kingdom of Al.abasta is going to be thrown to the side. Rather, he simply adjusts his plan to include her in it. Not that he’s going to need a queen, but he’d love nothing more than for her to be his. How romantic.

It’s not like she’d reject the idea. He’s confident Silva is far too loyal to detach from him once everything is said and done. She's just as invested in what they have together as he is. What’s she going to do? Say “no”?

[Huh? Well of course he’s still an awful person. What- did you think the power of love was enough to change the man?]

Of course, the course of events don’t play out in Sir Cro.codile’s favor. He's defeated and sent to Im.pel Down. Al.abasta is saved. Silva packs her bags and leaves her home to find a new place in the world. They’re [as far as they know] separated permanently. It's over.

...

Or maybe... maybe it's merely a little break? Maybe fate has something else in store for the both of them... an inevitable unconventional crossing of paths? A reunion of sorts?

...

Maybe it's really only just begun. >:3

[faithlesbian]

what do u think the negative reactions to transfem angel are? *cough* kate lockley *cough*

ah! short answer is i don't. I think (aside from being a legitimate lens through which to View The Text) for me the Trans Angel Reading is like, my little passion project and my joint imagined AU that lives in me and @titsgirlbuffy's brains so if im not doing proper analytical posting im mostly filling up that daydream with funny and heartwarming stuff, bc to be honest if i wanna see Angel suffer all i need to do is watch the show. so in short i haven't really given much thought to that side of things.

that being said now you've brought it up i do think the way the supernatural functions as a queer metaphor so often across both shows opens up interesting conversations about discrimination, very much including how Kate lockleys attitude towards demons stood in for other forms of bigotry. we see her becoming more and more hateful and distrustful of the supernatural long before we see her racially profile Gunn, and it would make sense for that to also map on to homophobia and transphobia given that's the more common metaphor. she's not in the show from s3 onwards and I wonder if that would've changed how certain plotlines that used that metaphor were handled, such as the s3 episode that old gang of mine which imo handled almost everything very poorly bc by placing demons as a (thinly veiled) stand in for queer people and putting Gunn in the middle of the conflict it basically ended up saying you can't be black and queer without betraying one of those communities?? I need to write like a proper post about that episode at some point bc they fucked that in ways.

anyway i realise i haven't like answered your question at all but i think while there would obviously be Early '00s Transphobia it wouldn't be from any of the main characters. Fred would probably have the hardest time processing I think, bc she had such a crush on Angel (handsome man who saved her from the monsters) and I don't think it's something she likely has prior experience with given her Normal Texas Upbringing, but that'd come from confusion rather than disapproval and it wouldn't take her long to get over. I think Wesley would also have the same problem given that imo Angel was basically the cause of his gay awakening in ats s1 so he's like the person who made me realise I like men... isn't actually a man... but that's Wesley's personal crisis and he wouldn't let it affect his support for angel

[orangepanic]

Directors cut for the uncommon rainsss

Aw, thank you.

Sigh. After the Uncommon Rains. Though it's not yet finished, this is without a doubt my least popular long fic. Despite some initial interest, even most of the people who normally read my stuff (all 2-5 of you, bless) aren't really picking this one up - or if they are, they aren't telling me about it. I have a few theories as to why this one is a flop, but that's not what you asked. Besides, I personally love it, so I'm gonna gush about it anyway. Maybe someone out there will give it a chance. And to the few readers it has, thank you!

As I explain in the summary and author's note, "After the Uncommon Rains" is essentially Jane Austen's last novel, Persuasion, rewritten as a Western. Some of this is self-serving. Persuasion is my favorite Jane Austen, and one I think is generally severely underrated in favor of others like Emma or Pride and Prejudice. In it we have characters who aren't in the throes of folly and misunderstanding, but actually living with the consequences of that previous folly. The action opens with main protagonist, Anne Elliott, faced with the prospect of reuniting with Frederick Wentworth, a man with whom she was deeply in love and briefly engaged to some seven years prior. Her family disapproved of Frederick's lack of wealth; Anne caved to their pressure and broke it off. She's been miserable ever since. Frederick, however, is now the dashing and very rich Captain Wentworth, having made his fortune on the very wit and intelligence that Anne fell in love with. Now he's back. And oh boy, does he hate her for breaking his heart.

So immediately this screams Irosami to me. What I love about Anne and Frederick is that their attraction isn't just physical, but intellectual. They both love culture and reading and learning about the world, and have good hearts and strong moral compasses and are brave and selfless with their friends. Which is what I see as the chief attractions of an Irosami ship as well. Their minds are made for each other just as much as their bodies. But I didn't just want to re-write Persuasion with Iroh as the naval captain and Asami as the quiet victim of her family's hatred of benders. Not only was that boring, but it didn't quite fit. Asami stands up to her father in canon. She doesn't take anyone's shit. Of the two of them, I think Iroh the more likely to cave to the pressures of honor and duty. Therefore, Iroh is a more obvious Anne. And Asami, the ambitious and talented 19-year old CEO with a bit of a temper and ride-or-die loyalty, is a better Frederick. It also allowed me to bring in more members of the OC family I've already created for Iroh, including especially his little sister.

I also wanted to do something fun with the setting. I personally struggle when I have to follow another work too closely, so I thought the challenge of making Persuasion work outside of Edwardian England would help. I've been playing with the idea of a Western for a while. So, why not? A Western it became. What is Anne's stay at the Musgroves became Iroh working at Tenzin's sky bison ranch in the Si Wong desert, and Captain Wentworth's success in the navy became Asami's inheritance of Future Industrial Railroad, which just happens to be building a line out that way.

The most fun I've had with this fic is hands-down the worldbuilding I've had to do for the setting. I've done so much research on cattle ranching and clothing styles and climate and locomotives. I've looked at so many pictures of dresses and hats and trains. I have my friend with a horse on speed dial to ask her questions about riding and the care of ostrich horses. I feel like I invent a plant or animal or food every ten lines. It's really great. Is it a coach or a carriage? Did you know that there's a difference?

By far the least fun - or maybe just the hardest - is matching up all the characters. In the novel there are far fewer main characters. The Musgroves' two daughters are Anne's only real rivals for Wentworth's affections. But in this fic I had to figure out what to do with all the air kids, all the Beifongs, Korra, plus Mako and Bolin. It was absolute chaos, with like five different people filling the roles of two. Other characters don't cleanly map - Baatar Jr. is playing the role of two characters, as is Bolin, while Commander Bumi is more like one and a half and Lin combines the roles of 2-3 bit parts so sometimes I feel like I forget that she's there. The endgame Linumi is based on the flimsiest of side ships. There's no renters of Kellynch, so Frederick's sister and the Admiral's roles are spread out among the cast. The whole plotline of Mr. Elliott, Anne's creepy cousin who almost marries her instead of Frederick, is dramatically reduced because I cut out the entire inheritance sub-plot altogether. Same with Tahno, who is playing a reduced version of Mrs. Clay who doesn't really want to marry Izumi (Sir Elliott), just kind of be a sponge on the family. Basically, it's been chaos.

If there's one mistake I made in planning, I think it's probably trying to force the Korra sami bit. For one, it's probably clear as day to a reader that I don't vibe with the ship because I can't write it to save my life. The whole Korra and Asami dynamic feels awkward and forced to me. Second, though I know it's an AU and 2023 and I'll probably be roasted for this, no one remarking on the same sex relationship also feels weird for both the Western and the Austin genre, mostly because there is always so much about inheritance and marriage there. Nobody batting an eye that Korra wants to marry Asami without addressing money and heirs and all that in a world where those concerns were the driving force of most of the plots seems a glaring omission. Finally, it introduces even more people into the mix, and other side ships like Makopal that I struggle to write or have to spend extra time justifying. I think everything would have gelled better with eventual Makorra and Bopal as the other side ships. Oh well. I wanted Borra. :-) I will live with my choices.

That said, I still love this fic. I'm having fun writing it. It's stretched me in new ways, most notably in it being the first time I've ever worked with beta readers. THANK YOU YOU LOVELY AMAZING PEOPLE. And whether a lot of folks read this story or not, I'm glad that I tried to do something different and difficult.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary28

10/2-3/2023

i'm listening to the 1985. they make stupid noise.

today i ate leftovers and recorded vocals, choruses for a song are down now, and i also did vox for one of the new short songs. the bad news is i've gone so long w/o doing vocals (not so long but after getting practiced again and then stopping for like 2 weeks to fix / remaster shit) i've maybe thrown my voice out a little. it's kind of sore, we're gonna see how that is tomorrow, but i should at least be able to do some less intense stuff tomorrow, w/r/t re-recording bits and stuff. and then, i dunno, we'll see, there's at least one song that needs that, and maybe another but i'd probably want to start screeching on the other one, because it's faster.

i've been thinking about fast today a little, a lot of these songs are over 150 bpm, frequently hitting 190, is that a normal bpm for this stuff, is that excessive, some locust songs aren't that fast, should i try a new song where i keep it short and also sit at like, below 150, i dunno. it's stupid anyways. i like 80-ish when i want to go slower, because it's not really slower how i handle it, i just have it at double time mostly so i'm really hitting 160 and then when there's slower ideas i have they feel super slow i guess. but not that slow. really i just like things that are fast and irritating, i talk about that so much.

doing vocals, at least how i was going at it today, was really exhausting even if it's like a bunch of takes on one song and a little less on some parts of another. i felt so lightheaded but i think i'm getting pretty good at just powering through that, which might be stupid but for 40 second long songs it's fine, right. hopefully. and hopefully it doesn't hurt to speak tomorrow.

i also got to write some today, just a little, and i also finally finished this mishima book of short stories i was slowly going through, really good, the last two stories were very strange and the last one especially reminded me of something flannery o'connor might do, someone writing from a place of being obsessed with the consequences of the world as it is, the standard ways of treating people, stuff like that. it's not exactly sympathetic or anything, to the suffering, it doesn't hate them either, it sees the downtrodden as sort of transformed into a force of fate and thus nature, which is not really true outside of the exact kind of character he was writing, an upper middle class person worrying, and her worrying thus transforms them into that, even if she's trying to express empathy, she's already figured that there, beyond her guilt, there is some kind of villain waiting for her, and so there is. the poor are bound to servitude of those psychic fantasies, or something. that feels like what he gets at there, the story prior, is about rich women, and is funny. he really handles the abject's entry/appearance in otherwise "regular" lives very well, as something that can and will meet us all, no matter what, and so the consequences of material reality will always be upon us, even if transformed by our fantasies that freely shape the world (this is the case especially if you are rich).

this isn't some communist reclamation of mishima but i do think even these relatively simplistic stories (the word tales almost seems better (and not all stories in the collection are tales (meaning they aren't quite similar to parables (particularly onnagata and patriotism (interesting that they feel the most tied to his queerness))))) more complex than people would give him credit for. makes me think of what eiko hosoe said when taking photos of mishima, this is a paraphrasing of a translation, it was something about the photos being the destruction of a myth, mishima was always constructing himself and subjecting himself to the elements to return to himself a weathered thing, it felt like, undoing himself as much as possible, because being kept to yourself, subjected to yourself as if it were real, is intolerable. so it makes sense then, to kill yourself theatrically. everyone who tries and succeeds is ultimately a drama queen dealing with this kind of difficulty, probably. i know i am. maybe i just relate too much, and it is different for others. i mean, i know it is, ultimately, but some people are convinced they could wield their suicide as a weapon against life or maybe more so, the eyes that have seen them living and would like to say: this is what you have been. of course, no one really cares that much. people could scarcely hear his speech, because he was cut off from the pa, before he gutted himself, so there he was, humiliated and seen still, at war with himself and putting his sex totally into his final moments, a beautiful man chosen to behead him does so, whatever.

but for some people like me i guess that's an intense thing to know about, it's going to sit in my chest forever and ever i guess.

next i'm going to read gary indiana's gone tomorrow. another gay man. i love rent boy quite a bit, i'm semi worried this one won't give me the same feelings, but that's lame, i shouldn't seek the same things from one artist, what i hope though is his prose is as great as it is in rent boy, loose and sharp all at once, i want to be drawn into the pulse immediately, as i was before. i hear this is a great book from a close friend, so i'm excited.

now, after listening to this 1985 record nerve eighty, and also from thinking earlier in the day, i want a fuckoff annoying trebly guitar, maybe different from the others in some way. sharper, hissier maybe, i'll call it "superhissyfit" if i like it.

before i go do that, i really hope i begin reading more. i think listening to richard hell today and singing along made me feel more literary or something. or maybe it was talking about the birthday party with someone. this record i'm working on started off with me reading rimbaud and baudelaire, at a job on break, and i've read plenty in the interim, but recently it's been missing from my life. i want there to be more. i want everything always though. #stupid.

thinking about "we assume sublime poses deep and true to life"

or whatever the line is.

here's the sound. i've never done this before, but i realized i can, which is fun. i don't know if i'll use any of these riffs here but i like at least 2 and think one unexpectedly works well with another, making something pretty compelling as like, a structure, accidentally. now i have something horrifically annoying that also just does that radio search feedback noise, it sounds just like the noise bits in that first jerome's dream record, a total accident but i like it, it's super irritating and i can put it in / just take it out if i want to. the sound overall has a really compelling tinniness that i think can help out on a couple songs where i'm like, not feeling that enough.

the thing with fake guitars is it gets easier to imitate higher strings, probably because there's less of a range of overtones or whatever, harmonic junk and stuff, that you're hearing. i also really like how this one pitch bends, i guess it was made for that super freakish sound some people make riffs out of, cuz like, why haven't i tried harder to do that, cuz i'm lazy i guess. now i try, and some songs i might go back and fuck around w/ this and throw it in, actually i like that idea for one especially, and the feedback could be filtered in at points in a cool way probably too.

i wonder if there's any other random music stuff to stick in here. right now i'm listening to this record:

it's really good, if you like this kind of thing. shocked honestly a couple times by how good the riffs are, and how this really doesn't fall into the regular "screamo" traps (screamo a delineating line i guess between faster/harder-core things, and stuff like this) but this is good because it veers pretty hardcore, it's never twinkly, it's sometimes really pretty and it uses those really great chords guys at this time became really fond of. idk what they are, they always feel spanish to me, it's fun stumbling into them and seeing their anatomy and not really knowing what to call them. this band also has everything free on their bandcamp, that's sick, the lyrics here are clearly super commie so it's not a surprise, it just also wouldn't be a surprise if they were asking like 5 bux (good enough + i get it (anyone would)).

anyways now i am way tired.

so,

byebye!!