#personals please don't interact

[ghcstchild-a]

here goes the thing i've been putting off for a long time, the body image/sexual preferences meta (nsfw subjects under the cut, tw for canon non-con mentions) – this isn't too explicit, but just in case.

I will preface this by saying that most of this is going to be connected with this post I made ages ago, as WWX's upbringing shaped more than his general self-image. But there are a few things that have been on my mind since like... day one of writing him, so here are a few essential key points.

• upon his revival, he lives (forcedly so) in someone else's body. Someone he never even met looks at him from the other side of the mirror, and while he acts like he's fine with it, it's still a pretty wild concept to wrap his head around. It forces a distorted, new perception of himself as a) fragile (he's not that much smaller in height, but his power/energy/resilience is considerably more limited in this new body) and b) someone who's imposing or possessing this body that wasn't supposed to be his.

One of the most important parts of it is that his scars are gone, and with them some key moments of his life feel as if they've been erased (the Wen brand, the scar from the golden core transfer, the one JC left after their battle in Yiling). These events were so, so life-changing to him and he knows the reminders should be there but... they're not, and it often takes a moment to remember why, and causes a bit of dissociation in the process. Which goes away with time, but it's very prominent at first (remember that to WWX, those 13 years haven't passed; the trauma is still fresh, he's still mentally in his early twenties because he didn't exist throughout these years, while everyone else had the time to process things and maybe move on just a little bit he's just returned from it all).

It doesn't make him self-conscious in regards to his body (because it's not even his), but it kind of... complicates things nonetheless. And this is where I move on to the worst part of it.

• the r*pe kink. The first time I read the incense burner chapter it honestly... hit like a brick and I had some trouble processing wtf it even was, BUT, having read it again and seen some takes on it... it has every right to be there in that exact form. First of all, it's a shared kink, as it was LWJ's dream in the first place (and while I have some thoughts irt LWJ and the reasons behind it, I won't delve into it).

To WWX, being used is something familiar (see the post linked in the beginning of this rant). Being used sexually in a controlled environment by someone he trusts is, in a way, part of a dealing process. He likes that special kind of violence, when it's so rough it's borderline brutal, when the limits are pushed to the maximum. He can set up boundaries (which he does, e.g. the spanking thing), and naturally there's a healthy level of communication that goes into this so that it's about pleasure and not torture.

And yet a little part of him welcomes the violence because he still feels like he deserves it, for not being there, for screwing things up. It's yet another of his self-sacrificing habits, except controlled and experienced with someone who he knows would never knowingly abuse it. And it ties into the body thing as mentioned above because it's also a way to... chase some of that feeling of frailty and uselessness away, if that makes any sense? And the incessant talking (+ him being obnoxiously loud) is a way to say 'this is okay', it's him being quiet that is a sign that something's wrong.

That being said, he acts the way he does (his fake complaining about 'the abuse') because sometimes being loved so much feels overwhelming and frustrating due to the unfamiliarity of the feeling. He doesn't know what to do with it. With all those feelings he has, with all the adoration LWJ showers him with. What he does know (and also struggles to accept sometimes) is that he doesn't need to be a terrifying power not to be messed with for survival purposes anymore. He's safe. He's loved. He needs to experiment with being overpowered sometimes to feel more comfortable with not being so powerful anymore.

• since I tagged the whole thing as nsfw, might as well add a couple of things. WWX loves offering little acts of service in the bedroom and he absolutely adores messy, cathartic and emotional sex that isn't violent, and gentle love-making might drive him insane in all the different ways. Processing past trauma is difficult for both of them and sometimes intimacy is a good way to deal with it, to ground himself in reality through touching and melting into each other to the point where it's the only sensation there is and he remembers them and nothing else. He makes sure to worship every inch of his husband's body (kissing every damn scar is a must) to remind him how much he adores all of him, but sometimes he gets carried away and forgets about himself in it all.

Also not to get all freudian here but the man clearly has an oral fixation so do whatever you wish with that information. There's a good way to shut him up and LWJ knows it, and WWX knows it too.

[denimshortsdean]

Cas really read dean to filth within an inch of his LIFE three (3) minutes after meeting him (What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?), threatened him the very next time he saw him (You should show me some respect. I'm the one who dragged you out of hell. I can throw you back in.), then the time after that overshared about being a good little soldier (Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul? I'm not a... hammer, as you say. I have questions. I have doubts)

absolutely insane writing from the destiel show

[itsscaredycat]

“2015 me is living” about billford

mf you only drew billdip💀

hey! it's okay if you don't remember, you're probably too young and/or they didn't get as many notes in comparison to other art i did back then, but i did in fact ship and draw billford in 2015! a couple of times actually! now, at the time i was really enjoying the human bill made by my friend so it's a different bill design with him in the art, but still billford nonetheless haha

ALSO something funny, when i was going back through my stuff from 2015 i found this ancient instagram screenshot of the comment section of a post i made, and someone is flaming me for drawing billford LMAO the irony

just goes to show that even though times change in fandom, there will always be someone who doesn't agree with you, and that's fine! but maybe we should learn to keep it to ourselves next time ok?

[rdr2gifs]

''the morning light, when it comes to me, it was there but I could not see''

Arthur’s life was profoundly shaped by his self-hatred, lack of self-worth and disbelief in the existence of kindness in a seemingly dark and cruel world.

I strongly disagree with the statement that Arthur only became a ‘’better’’ man after being diagnosed with tb. His struggle with his true/inner self is apparent as early as chapter one. ‘’You are not who you think you are, sir… which is lucky’’

He has lived a rough life, raised by criminals and surrounded by violence ever since he was born. It was installed in him early that his value lied within being a violent enforcer and he has lived this life since, knowing nothing else. As a highly aware person, Arthur's actions weight heavy on his soul. He accepts that his actions have consequences. He knows that a person who has caused so much suffering is not meant to have happiness in life. His way of life has caused him to believe that he is not worthy of love or redemption. He doesn’t want to believe that a person like him could be capable of any good. (a thing to note here is that imo, Arthur’s actions near his death weren’t attempts at redemption but rather a strong desire to do right and possibly be his true self.) This is why he keeps living as he does as it’s the only thing he’s ever known, it’s the thing that brings him profit, praise from the person he looks up to and he is already damned so he might as well continue living this life anyway.

The internal problem Arthur faces is that this violent, cruel way of life doesn’t align with what I’d call his true self/ideals. He is torn between the harsh reality he has known and an unconscious yearning for righteousness/love. To be able to carry on with his actions he must enforce certain ideals within himself, such as: I am bad, ugly, nasty, ignorant, mean etc. He also decides to see the dark side of reality, telling himself that the world is a grim dark place and this is just as things were meant to be. This is why he feels so uncomfortable being complimented for his good deeds, because a bad rotten person like him should not be able to do good. It breaks the image he has built for himself and he doesn’t want that happening. This can be seen a lot during the ‘’Money Lending and Other Sins’’ missions where he is unusually mean (even for his standards) to each of the debtors. Imo, he acts this way because he must truly convince himself of being a terrible man to be able to carry out a job which revolts him so badly. In the last debt collecting mission with J. John Weathers, it can be seen in his face/expressions how much he is struggling to put on a tough, uncaring, heartless act. He needs to maintain a ruthless persona to survive in the world he knows. He must convince himself of his own cruelty.

''Forgive me, but that's the problem. You don't know you.''

Contrary to Arthur’s beliefs, he is a naturally kind-hearted person who is unconsciously drawn towards kindness. And yes, even before he was diagnosed with tb. This can be seen in the people he respects the most and, in his willingness to help strangers (notice how he often does unnecessary acts of service for total strangers such as: carrying their things, holding out hands etc. even though they had already troubled him). Despite the life he has lived, Arthur does not enjoy violence, he does not enjoy hurting people. He doesn’t want to dominate over others. He thinks mostly about others and not about himself. This fact alone is very telling of his character.

He writes about Charles, a man who he truly respects: ‘’He’s a better man than me. He does not need to think to be good. It comes naturally to him, like right is deep within as opposed to this conflict between GOOD↔EVIL that rages within me.’’ A man who is not struggling with his inner self would not have written this. To me this clearly implies an inner desire to be a better man. He writes about his mentors: ‘’I love Dutch like a father, but in many ways, I love Hosea even more. He’s kind and fair and like a human being. Dutch is something else.’’ Clearly showing a preference for Hosea who is of a more gentle nature and shows genuine kindness. Unsurprisingly, these are the people who see through his dumb/though act and encourage him to drop it.

When he comes across Brother Dorkins for the first time, he writes: ‘’(he)was one of those innocent people who make you feel better about human beings and about yourself a little. Must be odd to see all that goodness in the world. Place always seemed dark and brutal to me.’’ Expressing how he does not see goodness in the world, implying lack of good examples/kindness/good experiences in his life. Yet, the monk leaves an impression and imo, this encounter (seeing genuine goodness) disrupts Arthur’s perception of what the world truly is. ‘’Just as evil begat evil your whole life long, so good may begat good’’ (what strengthens my belief in this, is the following, symbolic scene of Arthur realising the consequences of his actions right after picking up a crucifix. He was aware of them before sure, but is unable to truly ignore them now having seen it right in front of his eyes). If only Arthur was presented with more examples of goodness in his life.

''You have it in you... I can tell!''

His desire to do as much good as possible after realising he won’t live long is instant. This would not be the mindset of someone who did not already possess kindness in his heart. ‘’Know glory and forget about shame.’’ Arthur’s shame and self-loathing caused by his previous actions were what was holding him back from allowing kindness into his life. Knowing that he has limited time left has not made him into someone he wasn’t before. The diagnosis was a catalyst, allowing him to embrace that love/goodness truly does exist and accelerate the process of chipping away from the persona he has made for himself. This was a newfound understanding for him as in the past he was rejecting any notion of kindess. In himself and perhaps the whole existence of it. ‘’You keep hidden all that matters, even from yourself.’’

After being diagnosed, he writes: ‘’What kind of a man have I been? What kind of a man am I? What world is this we live in? A land of fury or a place of love? Am I being prepared for eternal damnation? Am I past any kind of saving? Is that all fairytales? Man ain’t got much good in him. I ain’t got no good in me… I don’t think and yet I see goodness. I see it. If not in me, in good folk. In Abigail and her love for Jack. In that silly monk. In Downes, I guess. Begging not for himself but for the poor, even though he was near starving himself. Maybe I don’t want salvation. Part of me has always longed for death.’’ This entry perfectly shows how deep Arthur’s self-loathing goes and just how much it has damaged him. As his journal allows a look into his true feelings, he truly does not see a single good thing about himself. He knew for a long time that the way he lives is detestable but he could not let go of it. Not because he didn’t want to, but because it’s all that he has ever known. He didn’t believe in anything else. This sudden acceptance of goodness has allowed him to see clearly, which was obscured from him before, and for the first time, enabled him to act free of past regrets for what is right.

⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪

Arthur’s redemption is not about becoming a good man. It is about finding the strength to change and recognise your true self despite a lifetime of self-loathing and breaking free from destructive beliefs of the past.

In Arthurian legends a stag is a symbol of the unending quest of spiritual knowledge/enligtenment

[bearotonin-international]

Apex predator, my ass. I’m going to pet the dog 🐻🐻‍❄️🐼

perhaps now is a good time for some responsible bear programming to remind everyone that as cute and cuddly as they may seem, bears are lethal apex predators and should absolutely be treated accordingly if ever encountered.

DO

NOT

PET

[chiropteracupola]

"Are you finished with my portrait yet? Show me!" "Cipacton, I can't draw you if you keep moving!"

[c-a-s-s-i-s]

[queenlucythevaliant]

Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.

Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.

Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.

Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.

[scificrows]

The feed ID doesn’t need to say anything other than what everyone else’s says, just name, gender, and…” She trailed off. She was looking at me and I was looking at her. - Martha Wells, Fugitive Telemetry (The Murderbot art I used is the official cover art from the French edition of ASR)

[faerabbit]

listen i love snufmin as much as the next fella but most people i've encountered who ship it are like "ooh! aah! snufkin is so cool and mysterious, he must be dangerous (but in like a sexy way) and knows all the ways to woo someone-"

listen. listen. if snorkmaiden is anything to go by, then moomin would canonically be the more experienced with relationships. i bet snufkin doesn't even know how to hold hands /hj

[sickofthis666]

Man, I miss when tumblr wasn’t the "t4t" website. Now we only got girld*ck jokes and trans rights are the only social issue that's worth mentionning, apparently. It's obvious if only by seeing the amount of posts, pinned posts, and bios with the mention "terfs/transphobes dni".

As an afterthought, some may add racists, ableists and/or homophobics to their little list. Sexism doesn't even appear.

Reading users bios, it's like everyone on this website is trans now - see also, reblogs of people's own post years later with the mention "im a girl now :3" - even though statistically, they're... what? 2% of the population?

Meanwhile somehow half of said population doesn't deserve to fight for their rights. BLM vanished but fear not, TLM is there. Online feminism peaked in 2016 with "the future is female" and #MeToo ended with a lot of calling out by victims but very little consequences for the abusers.

Your brain won't explode if you campaign for more than one cause at a time, I promise.

Old sexism was "your biology determines your behavior". New sexism is "your behavior determines your biology". Same result. Same harmful stereotypes. Some things are meant to harm, no matter how much you want to reclaim them or have fun sounding quirky by using insults/politically incorrect language. No, calling yourself a slut doesn't change from a man calling you that, because the very definition of that word is harmful. An insult doesn't stop being an insult because you enjoy it or because you decided to interpret it in a way that fits you, like religious leaders interprets scripture in a way that fits their interest.

We were supposed to get rid of the idea that women enjoying sex like men do is shameful, bad, disgusting, unnatural. We were supposed to make it neutral, just the way men get to have it, but nooo, you guys wanted to be quirky, rules breakers, special. Somehow you're convinced that doing the complete opposite of what society commonly deems acceptable automatically makes you cool, Good, right, and better than the others. It doesn't! It's not a dichotomy! Same thing with whore. Calling a man that moves his hands when he talks or has a high pitch or exaggerated manners "effeminate" makes you a misogynist and a homophobe, actually.

P*rn doesn't automatically becomes Good and healthy just because society frowns down upon it. Degrading women became a trend. God forbids you kinkshame, but somehow mocking vanilla sex is great, actually. Obviously vanilla must be Bad since it's the opposite of porn, and we all decided at some point that porn was Good. Can’t find f/m erotica on this website that doesn't include at least One sentence specifying how the woman is degraded/seen like a toy/less than human by the man. It's Very Important.

The solution to "women shouldn't have to wear make up to be considered seriously/human" wasn’t "women like their cage actually", it was destroying the cage or put the men in it with us. Cause that is the definition of gender equality. Treating men and women the same regardless of gender.

Hijab will never be feminist as long as men don't wear it too. It's the difference of treatment, simply because of gender, that is sexism/misogyny. The intention of the wearer doesn't matter - the result does.

"Taking your husband's last name isn’t sexist because *I* would be honored to do it" affirmed a woman to me - Since when does sexism mean "mentality/behavior/outfit/etc that all women as a mindhive dislike"? Oh wait - it doesnt - never did; it means difference of treatment between genders, overwhelmingly balanced in favor of men. The day men don't see taking your wife's last name as emasculating, degrading, insulting, belittling, diminishing, disgracing, shameful; the day they take their wife's last name spontaneously, almost systematically, the way women do; the day merely suggesting the idea to them isn’t preposterous;

the day women don't see taking your husband's name, as honorable, normal, the bare minimum, the day women stop taking their husband's name almost systematically, because it's an evidence in their eyes; the day women are not pushed to take their husband's name because it makes administration's work easier, because it's the only way for them to prove that they're related to their children - when i was a little kid, school staff once refused to let me leave with my mom at the end of the day simply because, since she hadn't taken my father's name, obviously she couldnt possibly be my legitimate mother; that "incident" lead to her renounciating her own name; before that, she hadn't entertained the thought; - the day french civil service stops differentiating between Nom d'épouse (wife name) and Nom de jeune fille (maiden name), making marriage an event so decisive in a woman's life that it changes her status; whereas men are born, live and die with only one name, their own, and no one else's.

That day only, we'll be able to affirm that this part of society/culture/custom is not sexist anymore.

In favor of men, not because I hate men, or because women need someone to blame, or because men are inherently evil, but in favor of men because men have been ruling society for thousands of years. Our kings are men. Our presidents are men. Our Prime Ministers are men. Our religious leaders are men. Our CEOs are men. Billionaires are men. The most powerful and/or rich on this earth are men. And people in power, in a logical conclusion, decides measures that will favor themselves over others.

Feminity isn’t real. Masculinity isn’t real. Just like the economy, or borders, it's something humans made up. And yet it would never cross your mind to romanticize or fantasize about those concepts.

Boomers' sexism says "if you're a woman, you must act feminine." Gen Z's sexism says "If you're feminine, you must be a woman."

Feminism says "You'll always be a woman no matter what - but so what? You can do whatever you want."

This website is full of selfrighteous, full of themselves assholes who pretends to be Better than everyone else because they're sooo tolerent, sooo inclusive, they condemn nazis and terfs - but mostly terfs. Terfs never commited murders, contrary to neonazis/white supremacists/incels, but that is but a detail my friend - vigorously, they boycott JKR absolutely - but not their favorite rapist male artists/authors/actors/singers -, they have the moral High Ground. Yet the second they smell an Enemy, someone who doesn't adopt 100% of their causes, verbatim, no holds barred! Anything goes! Death threats, rape threats, stalking, doxxing, going after family members... calling The Other, the Villain - of course they're the villain, since I am the Good Guy and they're against Me! - names, a loser, ugly, fat, a virgin, who can’t get laid/p*ssy. Yes I said Asexuals were a part of the community, what does this have to do with anything? Death and rape threats are okay if they come from My mouth!

[cityofasphodels]

Just a quick reminder!

There is no wrong way to enjoy a media.

Whether you are in it for the story, the characters, the gameplay, the community, whatever your priority may be— there is no wrong way to love a piece of work.

Yes, even if you make "inaccurate" headcanons for characters you love.

Yes, even if you are more into the aesthetics than any deeper meaning.

Yes, even if you only engage with it through playthroughs or video analysis other secondary sources.

In the end, you and all the other fans are together in loving and supporting a piece of work. If somebody enjoys the content in a way you personally don't want to see, simply block and move on! The only "wrong" way to be a fan is to be one who is malicious and hurtful to others and to real people.

[liones-s]

I've been trying to pay more attention to when things feel easy. I spent so many years forcing things - relationships, interests, routines - that it was difficult to imagine things could or should feel differently. now that I've starting experiencing things that feel natural, I'm learning that hard work and forcing things are not equivalent. Doing well in a class I enjoy takes a lot of work, but it's not miserable. Swimming makes me tired but it brings me joy. When I tell someone I like spending time with them, they suggest fun things to do and it just happens to be an activity I love. Relationships and hobbies and passions take work, but they can feel good. Noticing when it feels good can help us find the way towards what's meant for us.

[leahthaynor]

Funny how antishippers act like they were the most morally people in this world but later they are the ones harrassing someone over a FUCKING. FICTIONAL. SHIP or/and telling them they are monsters, they are pedos, they are disgusting, they need help. PARDON ME, BUT IF YOU TELL A REAL PERSON TO KILL THEMSELVES OVER SOMETHING FICTIONAL, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO NEEDS HELP. YOU ARE THE MONSTER HERE.

"Anyone who likes a 'pedophilic' ship is a pedophile in real life and should be harassed". EXCUSE ME?

JUST SO YOU CAN KNOW, people can ship a ship and STILL hate those things in real life. We are not FUCKING IDIOTS. We KNOW the difference between REALITY and FICTION. I FUCKING HATE pedophiles and I FUCKING HATE PEDOPHILIA and I think EVERYONE who dares to hurt a child (and hurt a child like that) HAS TO BURN IN HELL.

And just because I ship certain """"·pedophile"""" ships that DOESN'T mean I don't condemn pedophilia in real life. I, as many others, like the bond between some people in a fictional story, and I like how their relationship evolves throughout the fics. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WOULD ACCEPT A TEENAGER DATING AN ADULT IN REAL LIFE.

Everything in a STORY can be AS BAD as it is in real life, but that's the thing. IS NOT REAL.

Just because a person likes """"pedophile"""" ships doesn't mean they support Pedophilia. And if we talk about """""pedophile""""" ships, let me ask a question. What do you think of terror movies? What do you think of gore movies, and many other movies? Because by your logic, no one should be allowed to write dark content or about morally questionable things.

Stephen King (and other terror authors) shouldn't be allowed to write terror stories, because by your logic, he supports killing in real life.

George Lucas shouldn't be allowed to write about Star Wars, because in that story the Empire blows up a planet, and by your logic, that means he support genocide.

See how STUPID do you sound with your arguments?

And I DON'T CARE about you harassing a real pedophile because being that is disgusting. BUT THE THING IS THAT MANY OF US AREN'T PEDOPHILES! Many of us are just HUMANS. MORALLY humans who only want to ship whatever we want in peace. We only want to ship whatever we want in FICTION. Tom and Harry, Vlad and Danny, Slade and Dick, and many other "proship" ships. All of them are CHARACTERS. They aren't REAL. They can't get hurt by their ship. And even then, you keep harassing us. You keep hating us. YOU KEEP SAYING US TO KILL OURSELVES BECAUSE OF THAT.

FUNNY AND IRONIC HOW YOU CLAIM TO BE A GOOD AND MORAL PERSON WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE TELLING A REAL PERSON TO KILL THEMSELVES OVER A FICTIONAL THING!!

[thefrogdalorian]

I think on this fine Saturday afternoon it's a good opportunity to take a breather and remember that there are really no ethical paparazzi pictures. Every single one is inherently exploitative.

Just because photos were taken on a movie set, when someone is 'working,' does not make the practice any less invasive and creepy. Imagine just going about your day, doing your job and having some weirdo snapping pictures of you to sell without your consent for others to endlessly repost online.

There are thousands of pictures of your favourite actor online already. Plenty taken with his knowledge and consent. I'd really like to see more of them on my dash, rather than the creeper shots.

And don't get me started how disseminating these pictures directly leads to people going to said sets. What starts off as admiring how good someone looks has real world implications.

No, hanging around a movie set and disrupting people doing their jobs is not harmless fun or a way to show your appreciation.

If you hang around a movie set, you are a stalker.

Don't tell me that it's okay to take your online admiration for someone offline. You may admire him but he does not, and will never, personally know you. He will never be your friend/boyfriend/daddy. He is a stranger.

The only way meeting your favourite actor is going to happen is at a convention or maaaaaybe a movie premiere if you're incredibly fortunate. You know, places they appear specifically to meet fans (or not in the case of premieres, where the purpose is to promote a movie. Which is also completely understandable if actors don't stop. You are not owed an interaction).

Of course, you cannot help it if you randomly run into someone you admire in the wild. Even then, consider that they probably won't be all too thrilled to be approached in public by a complete stranger. It's up to you to gauge the situation, but remember there is a person at the heart of all of this.

Boundaries and respect are a kindness which deserves to be extended to each and every human being regardless of their looks/talent/fame/wealth.

Fandoms blur those lines a little too often for my liking and I think just scrutinising what you're interacting with, or what behaviour you could be possibly falling down that slippery slope towards is nice to do every once in a while.

I mean no malice with this post and it is not directed at anyone in particular. It's something I cannot help but feel strongly about because I've seen this destructive cycle time and again in fandoms over the years. It's not healthy and it makes us all a little bit more disconnected from our humanity for it...

[greenerteacups]

Hi! I am an ardent fan of your writing, and I hope to be as sorted and planned as you some day in my own writing journey.

My question is: you have a keen eye when it comes to planning character personality, dynamics, and such. I've also been wading through your ask replies, and your insights into how you write people and how you make them play off of each other is so wonderful to read. If it's not too personal a q, how did you learn how to write like this? Did you go to school for writing, does it come from years of observing people, do you have reading list recs for "how to write real people and real interactions"?

Thanks! This is a really flattering question. I'll try to answer it honestly, because I wish someone had been brutally honest about this with me when I was a young writer.

I didn't go to school for writing. I started doing it when I was about nine years old. It sucked very badly. I kept writing throughout high school, and it still mostly sucked, but some of it was occasionally interesting. ("Interesting" here does not mean "good," by the way.) I took a break in college, and then came back. I've been writing ever since. Sometimes, I feel good about it. A lot of the time, I don't!

I hate giving this advice, because I remember how it feels to get it, and it's the most uninspiring, boring-ass, dog shit advice you can get, but it's also the only advice that is 100% unequivocally true: you have to write, and specifically, you have to write things that suck.

I do not mean that you should make things that suck on purpose. I mean that you have to sit down and try your absolute hardest to make something good. You have to put in the hours, the elbow grease, the blood, sweat, and tears, and then you have to read it over and accept that it just totally sucks. There is no way around this, and you should be wary of people who tell you there is. There is no trick, no rule, no book you can buy or article you can read, that will make your writing not suck. The best someone else can do is tell you what good writing looks like, and chances are, you knew that anyway — after all, you love to read. You wouldn't be trying to do this if you didn't. And anyone who says they can teach you to write so good it doesn't suck at first is either lying to you, or they have forgotten how they learned to write in the first place.

So the trick is to sit there in the miserable doldrums of Suck, write a ton, and learn to like it. Because this is the phase of your path as an artist when you find what it is you love about writing, and it cannot be the chance to make "good writing." This will be the thing that bears you through and compels you to keep going when your writing is shit, i.e., the very thing that makes you a writer in the first place. So find that, and you've got a good start.

Some people know this, but assume that perseverance as a writer is about trying to get to the point where you don't suck anymore. This is not true, and it is an actively dangerous lie to tell young writers. You are not aiming to feel like your writing doesn't suck. You are aiming to write. You are aiming to have written. Everything else is dust and rust. And of course, you'll find things you like about your pieces, you'll find things you're proud of, you'll learn to love the things you've made. But that little itch of self-criticism, in the back of your brain — the one that cringes when you read a clunky line, or thinks of a better character beat right after it's far too late to change — that's never going away. That's the Writer part of you. Read Kafka, read Dickens, read Tolstoy, you will find diary entries where they lament how absolutely fucking atrocious their writing was, and how angry they are that they can't do better. A good writer hates their sentences because they can always imagine better ones. And the ability to imagine a better sentence is what's going to make you pick up the pen again tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.

Which is what I mean, and probably what all those other annoying, preachy advice-givers mean, when we say: a good writer is just someone who writes every day. It's that easy, and that hard.