#please dont actually do that

[sambirdyanim8]

Tw: blood, foaming at the mouth (not for the fun reasons)

Recently I've been trying to experiment with a bit more blood in my art. Don't worry, I'm not some blood thirsty maniac. I just happen to be bored and obsessed with British bunnies beating each other up. Anyhow, this is my Oc Jack who has a tendency. A battle tendency. *sighs* I'm so bored and worried.

[disincentivized]

source

[moedori]

moedori do you give love advice

stalk them :3c

once mew know their darkest secwets and every hair on theiw head, mew can stawt planning on how to womance trhem!!! ~(≧◡≦) ♡

(FOR LEGAL REASONS THIS IS A JOKE DONT ACTUALLY)

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[emberglowfox]

Keeper -- a short comic about an angel meeting a robotic lighthouse keeper that doesn't know the world has already ended. Made in about 18 hours for a 24-hour 24-page* black and white comic challenge (that I arrived late to, ha.)

*the actual submission does not include the cover, which was created after the fact for this post.

This was a really great learning experience as someone who's... never really made a completed comic. I ended up really attached to the story by the end of the project (possibly due to all-nighter deliriousness lol) and ultimately am very proud of what I made.There are some things I'd still like to change, particularly text placement, but in keeping with the spirit of the challenge I've elected to leave it as is.

[ghosted-jazz]

Black Mercy

[turtletoria]

the krampus incident from the book of bill if it was out of character and stupid

[gizmotemusic]

they're enacting special rules for Trump's 34 felony charges, look up "Trump rule 34" for more info

[heartorbit]

stay warm! 🌟🍬🤖🎈

[averagepretentiousreader]

Life is short. Drink another coffee. Read another book. Listen to your favourite song again. Hug your mom. Laugh. Cry. Dance in the rain. Push your friend off a cliff because of a milkshake.

[the-scarecrow-of-aus]

Time limits and being late for dinner

Danny, pinned down by gunfire on top of a wounded red hood who caught him in his territory and chased him into a rivals warehouse:

"Hey hood, soo... hypothetically, if I was to remove your helmet how long is the detonation trigger?"

Jason starting to lose conciousness and slur from blood loss:

"Like half a second after it triggers, it'll blow before you can clear my head, why?"

"Cool, that gives me half a second to see why my sister is obsessed with your ugly ass!"

"What? Wait... who's your sis-"

*grabs Jason's head by the helmet and phases it straight off and through his body using the momentum to throw it towards a group of shooters in a single move*

[There's a loud bang and the shooters duck for cover as two go down screaming from the shrapnel]

"-ter... hey! How'd you do that?"

"Ugh, I was right, you remind me of Johnnie. Oh well, c'mon man, well be late. Not something you want to experience when jazz is waiting"

"Jazz... Wait! Are you kidding me, the bookworm Jazz, is your sister?"

Danny braced his arms across hoods chest under the arms like they were floating in water and leaned backwards, red hood and himself suddenly unburdened by gravity slid through the wall covering their backs and disappeared from sight (if not sound as Jason dazedly kept commenting on the cute girl he'd mistaken for babs and if she actually liked him back)

They were late, jazz was definately gonna be mad!

[gunnslaughter]

I said what I said! Don’t @ me!

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

wear headphones :)

Transcript:

As much as I'd love to witness more of your prowess, I'd very much like to have that body of yours.

Is that a strap-on?

Machine, I'll cover you in more than blood.

Fuck. *exhale* Shit. Fuck-God! mmmm-ohohoho. fuck. fuck. h-Harder, Machine. Mph! *whimper* Hah... Come on!

End transcription

Sorry for this. I promise this is the worst thing I'll ever post. Unless he somehow manages to do something worse.

I can't really provide the audio sources in a neat way because this is 6 clips stuck together.

[fearforthestorm]

breaking fucking news: misgendering real people is still bad even if you're doing it to cis people!

[bottombaron]

oh ok so its the usual no-homo bullshit you always hear, good to know.

[buggbuzz]

THERE IS NO WAY WE GOT INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY THAT EASY AND THEN—AND THEN THEY JUST

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IM NEVER GOING TO FUCKING RECOVER