#please note we all like spicy food

[playingplayer2]

Me, eating leftovers in my room at 2:30am, suddenly realizing that if it's spicy enough for me to be pleased with the spice level then I'm probably the only one who's gonna eat the leftovers, meaning imma have to have the same meal like 5 times this week unless... Again: Oh. Oh. Skbelsbdkqjsjsjsns. Agaiiiinnnn?????????

[dearlyjun]

CALL OUT MY NAME ☆ c. seungcheol

☆ PAIRING: slightly possessive boyfriend!cheol x reader (f)

☆ GENRE: NSFW (18+ readers only!!)

☆ SUMMARY: your ex boyfriend can’t seem to stop texting you lately; wouldn’t want to make your current boyfriend angry would you?

☆ WORD COUNT: about 1.8k

☆ WARNINGS: cheol is possessive in a protective way, mentions of an ex boyfriend that won't leave you alone, ex boyfriend is min yoongi, cheol has a deep voice, mentions of cheol working out, cheol is tatted, he wants to fight her battles for her (king), unprotected sex, different sex positions (cowgirl, kneeling missionary), semi voyeurism, clitoral stimulation, spanking (like once), cumshot, foul language, cheolie is very sweet at the end!! lmk if i missed anything!!

☆ AUTHORS NOTE: posting this in honor of @miupow’s birthday!! happy birthday, lia!! you’re one of my dearest friends (and moots) on here. im so glad we met!! and also shout out to lia for beta-ing her own bday fic and correcting my half asleep writing. yeah even i don’t know what was going on there.

BE ADDED TO MY TAGLIST HERE!

You were setting a bowl of food and a glass of iced tea down on your kitchen island, when your laptop started ringing.

“Ah, Cheol, give me a minute!” You spoke out loud to yourself, quickly grabbing a fork before tapping your keyboard to accept the video call coming through.

“Hi, Cheolie.” You greeted in a sing-songy voice as he -was filled up your screen with a smile on his face.

Your boyfriend was in Japan on a business trip for a few days; scheduled to come home tomorrow. You both made it a routine to have dinner together every night over video calls.

“You look pretty.” He answered, his gaze never leaving you.

You giggled at his compliment. “You see me everyday.”

Seungcheol smirked. “And? You’re always pretty.” He motioned at your bowl that was in the camera frame. “What’s for dinner today?”

“Oh, um, spicy pork bibimbap. You know; my favorite. What are you having?”

Seungcheol pointed to some things on the table he was sitting at. “Tuna and rice with some spicy sauce and vegetables, and chicken.” He let out a laugh. “Kind of boring.”

You smiled at him before taking a bite of your food. “Did you go to the gym today? I saw the workout notification on my watch.” You referenced your activity sharing feature on your Apple Watch.

“Yeah, of course the last day I'm here I find this really nice gym.” Seungcheol rolled his eyes and took a bite of his food before speaking again. “I was so excited that I actually almost did a 400 pound deadlift.”

“Oh my god…” You were just as excited for your boyfriend’s gym achievements as he was.

“Hang on, I think I took some pictures.” He picked up his phone and was scrolling through some pictures. “Yeah, see?” Seungcheol turned his phone screen towards his computer so that you could see. He scrolled through pictures of the scenery of the gym, and some pictures in the mirror.

“I like that one.” You suddenly spoke up with a smirk on your face.

“Which one?” Seungcheol questioned before looking at his phone to see the one of him completely shirtless In the mirror, showing off his back that was beautifully adorned with muscles and his tattoo that you loved so much. “Oh with the tattoo?” He smirked, knowing fully well how much you liked it.

“Yeah.” You smirked, cheeks flushing like this was the first time you saw him. Seungcheol always seemed to have that effect on you.

“I didn’t go to the gym today, I went shopping instead.” You slightly laughed.

“Yeah, I saw the Amex notification.”Seungcheol joked, setting his phone back down. “Buy anything nice?”

You gasped, dramatically covering your face. “See! That's why I don’t like using it all of the time.” Seungcheol always let you use his credit card to treat yourself however you pleased, and sometimes you would buy clothing pieces that he’d like on you. Unfortunately, the notifications always went to his phone.

Seungcheol looked at his phone again, laughing at your dramatics. “It’s not like it shows me what you bought. It just tells me the store.”

“Well you’ll be home by evening tomorrow, right?” You questioned. “I’ll show you then. It’s–“

Your voice trailed off as suddenly a notification of a text message popped up at the top of your laptop screen. It was your ex boyfriend, Min Yoongi. For some reason he has been non stop bothering you lately; asking how you’ve been, if he can “catch up” with you. You ignored every one of his advances thus far, but you hadn’t said anything to Seungcheol.

“What’s wrong?” Seungcheol instantly noticed the change in your tone and expression. “You got so quiet all of a sudden.”

You sighed. “Cheolie, I hate you fighting my battles for me.”

“It’s my job.” Seungcheol quickly retorted. “What’s going on?”

“My ex boyfriend. Do you remember Yoongi?” Seungcheol nodded. “For some reason he’s been trying to get a hold of me; texting me like he wants something between us again.”

Seungcheol got closer to his computer, the tone in his voice suddenly deepening. “Show me the texts.”

You picked up your phone, showing him the screen of multiple texts to all of which you did not respond to.

“And you didn’t respond?” He questioned, reading the texts on your phone as you swiped through.

“No, I haven’t responded to any of them.” You answered.

“Okay.” Seungcheol spoke, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms in front of himself. “I can’t get an earlier flight out. But If this happens again, I’m dealing with him.”

“Yeah, fuck yourself on my cock just like that baby.” Seungcheol sighed, looking down at his lap to where his cock was disappearing inside of your wet cunt. “Fucking use it.”

Seungcheol brushed your hair off of your shoulders for access to your collarbones; sucking and biting at your skin. You whimpered In response, combing your fingers through his dark hair and giving it a slight tug. That only egged him on more; letting out a low grunt.

Seungcheol gripped onto your hips, angling them forwards so that when you slammed down onto him, his cockhead would be hitting a different spot.

“Cheol! Fuck!” You cried out, reaching to hold onto Seungcheol’s sturdy frame before falling into his chest.

“Yeah, gonna fucking cum?” Seungcheol’s grip moved to your thighs as you whimpered; your face buried in the crook of his neck. “Look at me, look at me.”

You pulled yourself up, still using him for stability. You couldn’t fight your orgasm right now if you tried to.

Until your phone starts ringing, lost somewhere in the tangled bed sheets.

You jump, clearly startled by the ringtone playing at almost full volume.

“The fuck….?” Seungcheol muttered, eyes fixated on his wet cock disappearing in between your legs.

“Ignore it.” You hissed, lifting yourself up off of him enough so just the tip was inside of you, only to slowly sink back down to feel every inch of Seungcheol’s cock.

Seungcheol knew that was on purpose, yet he still let out one of the hottest moans to ever come out of his mouth.

“Give me that fucking phone.” Seungcheol spat, putting one arm around you to keep you in place as he rummaged around the sheets to his right.

He managed to find it despite your whining, looking to see that the screen read a phone number across it and not any caller ID.

Seungcheol shot you a glance before swiping the green icon at the bottom of the screen to pick up the call. He then put it on speaker phone.

“Who is this?” The tone in his voice was deep and oddly steady considering that you were still perched up on his lap with his cock inside of you.

“Y/N?” The voice on the other side of the phone said your name, startling you. You froze. It was Min Yoongi of all people that could be calling you.

You saw Seungcheol’s jaw clench as he heard another man say your name, but with his free hand he still gave your ass a light smack to keep moving.

“Why are you calling my girlfriend’s phone? I know who this is.” Seungcheol used his free hand to pinch one of your nipples between your fingers, making you whimper.

“I just wanted to talk…” Yoongi’s voice trailed off and you didn’t know what he said only because Seungcheol whispered to you to lie down onto your back.

You followed directions, wincing at the empty feeling between your legs when you were on your back. Seungcheol immediately pushed your knees towards your shoulders and kneeled in front of you, aligning his cock with your entrance once again.

“We can talk.” Seungcheol spoke to the phone while he was teasing your folds with the tip of his cock. You grabbed a hold the comforter with your left hand, desperate for something to hold onto.

“Cheol, fucking put it in. Please.” You whined loud enough to be heard through the phone. Seungcheol had a satisfied look on his face, nodding as he finally pushed himself inside of you slowly enough so you felt everything; all of him.

You threw your head back; arching your back against the bed. Seungcheol put his hand onto your stomach to keep you still, then moved it down slightly to stimulate your clit with his thumb. Letting out a strained moan, you nearly wanted to scream.

“Awful quiet there, Yoongi. That’s your name right?” Seungcheol’s voice was so deep that your core clenched around him tight. “What happened to talking?” You were sure that the noises of his cock sliding in and out of you could be heard on the phone by now.

“I mean, obviously I’m a bit busy right now.”

“Cheol!” Your voice startled even you. Not quite a scream, but more like a whiny moan. Seungcheol’s body was quickly against yours within mere seconds; with his weight pressing into you.

“Mhm, call out my fucking name baby.” Seungcheol’s lips ghosted over yours as he lightly kissed you, then he found your right hand that was gripping onto the comforter and laced his fingers with yours. “Let him and everyone else hear it.”

The call either dropped or your phone died because it was silent, but neither of you were paying any attention.

“Cheol! fuck!” You swore, and just like that you were cumming all over his cock; shaking as he kissed you sweetly all over your face.

Seungcheol was on the brink of cumming, and you could tell. So naturally, you used his weakness to your advantage. He always gave in when you begged him to cum inside of you; he’d never tell you no.

“Cheolie, cum in me….please.” You gripped onto his thick arms as he supported himself above you; following your words exactly as his breathing became unsteady.

“Shit…fuck.” Seungcheol panted, dropping his head and making his hair fall into his face. You couldn’t help but let out a whimper at the feeling of him finishing inside of you.

The two of you were silent, and Seungcheol adjusted himself to not drop his entire weight onto you.

“I’m sorry, cheolie.” You muttered, running your fingers through his now messy hair.

He quickly had a concerned look on his face. “For what, princess? You didn’t do anything.”

You slightly laughed at the situation. “My ex is calling me, literally while we’re having sex.”

Seungcheol was smirking. “Yeah, but he’ll probably never call again.” He grabbed your hand, kissed the back of it, then kissed your face. “He should know that you’re mine.”

☆ TAGS: @lavnderwonu @dokyeomkyeom @https-yeonjun

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

food likes and dislikes + why

Consider this part of the Twisted Wonderland food lore series, I guess? Part 1 and part 2 focus on compiling food culture and related world lore; I will keep adding to them as new information is released. This part expands on the reasons for why each character likes and dislikes the food that they do. Please note: THIS DOES NOT COVER ALL CHARACTERS, only the characters we have official profiles for! The staff do not have least favorite foods listed + other characters like Neige and Che'nya lack profiles, so they are not addressed here.

Additionally, the reasoning behind some likes/dislikes are speculation or implied rather than outright stated as canon. I will indicate when these instances crop up.

Riddle

Favorite: strawberry tarts

Riddle has been fascinated with strawberry tarts since he was a child, as he would see them in the window of the local cake shop. He lovingly describes the bright-red fruit on them as "[shining] at [him] like forbidden jewels", as his mother would liken the sugar content in sweets and pastries to poison.

He tastes his first strawberry tart after meeting Trey and Che'nya. Trey is the one who offers him a slice from his family's bakery. Riddle is entranced by its look and taste. "A bright-red strawberry tart on a white plate. To me, it shined more brightly than any gem could. That first bite was so sweet. It tasted like nothing I'd ever eaten before. With each bite, I became more entranced..."

SPECULATION: The implication, as I read it, is that strawberry tarts fulfill a desire he has long since had but has seldom acknowledged. They are also tied to the positive experience of the intimacy and the first friends Riddle ever made, as well as a symbol of his own agency.

He seems to regularly offer and eat cakes and other sweets at unbirthday parties, as they are a must-have at these events. Other foods he intakes typically adhere to the rules of the Queen of Hearts, even if he has different preferences (such as preferring honey to sugar cubes for his tea, and preferring milk tea over lemon tea).

Least Favorite: junk food

SPECULATION: While we aren't given an explicit reason for Riddle's stance on junk food, it's implied that his mother ingrained in him a sense of which foods and amounts are "right" and 'wrong" to have. He likely still takes her teachings to heart.

Riddle tried fast food for the first time at age 17 and declared that he doesn’t like it and won’t have it again. This supports the idea that he has avoided this kind of food for a long time—again, something instilled in him by his mother.

Trey

Favorite: candied violets

Trey started eating candied violets before he started elementary school. He was so impressed by the concept of edible flowers that he went around trying to eat flowers and weeds he found in the wild.

Trey states that he loves how the flower's aroma overtakes his senses and makes him feel as though he's lying in a bed of violets. He cites this as being the "real appeal" to him.

Trey also says that he gets bad cravings for candied violets and would even snack on his parents' stash (which they prepared for their bakery's cakes). This however did not stop Trey, so it led to his parents setting aside some candied violets specifically for him. In fact, they still send care packages to NRC which contain candied violets. Trey snacks on them on study breaks.

He suggests using candied violets as a sugar substitute. It changes the color of the milk, and he finds that interesting.

Least Favorite: mustard

Che’nya and Trey played Russian Roulette with six cream puffs. Five had regular cream filling and one had mustard.

Trey had bad luck and ended up biting into the one cream puff with mustard inside. There was no water to wash down the flavor, and Che’nya was of no help because he was laughing too hard at his friend’s demise. Trey reports that he “seriously almost cried”. It is this bad experience that bred his dislike of mustard.

Cater

Favorite: spicy ramen

Cater says that a "capsaicin kick" from spicy food "lights a fire under [him] when [he's] feeling out of it" or feeling down in the dumps.

Additionally, ramen pics are "GREAT for [social media] engagement". He usually places a lot of importance on a dish's appearance when judging it.

Least Favorite: anything sweet

When Cater was 10 years old, his mother and two older sisters were into making sweets. Back then, Cater was actually excited for extra desserts. However, they continued to make more sweets every single day. It got to a point where Cater started to have a hard time eating them.

According to Cater, his sisters in particular made things worse. They would pile more sweets onto his plate and tell him there's plenty more where that came from. If Cater said he didn't want any, his sisters would give him puppy dog eyes and he would relent. This would ruin Cater's taste for anything even remotely sweet.

He loves visiting cafes, but the most photogenic items tend to be desserts. Cater has the dilemma where he will order something cute but then can't eat it because of his aversion to sweetness. (The problem is solved if he invites someone to come with to be his human garbage disposal.)

Trey is, so far, the only person who has been able to immediately sus out that Cater doesn't like sweets. Cater usually has to dance around this fact about himself and find roundabout ways to avoid eating sweets (such as suggesting to Trey that he show us UM to the first years so Cater can avoid tasting a sweet chestnut tart).

Ace

Favorite: cherry pie

Ace says cherries are his favorite fruit. There is no further explanation given for why cherry pies in particular are his favorite.

He prefers fresh fruit in his pies as opposed to the “canned stuff”. Ace finds the flavor to be a lot more robust in the former.

SPECULATION: The meta reason for Ace's favorite food may be because the Drink Me potion from Alice in Wonderland is said to taste like "cherry tart, custard, pineapple, roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast". The "tart" was probably changed to "pie" to help differentiate Ace's favorite food from Riddle's favorite food (which also involves a red fruit in a crust).

Least Favorite: raw oysters

When he was a kid, Ace read a book that involved oysters. He can't stand raw oysters because they remind him of that story.

SPECULATION: This is likely a reference to the story of "The Walrus and the Carpenter", which involves a walrus tricking and eating sentient baby oysters in Disney's Alice in Wonderland. It probably traumatized kid!Ace xnsbdkwbiwcnks

Deuce

Favorite: anything with eggs

Deuce comes from a single parent household, so their budget is usually tight. Eggs, being a cheap staple food, was something his mom often prepared for him. They are also simple and versatile enough for even his mom and himself to learn how to cook a variety of ways.

Deuce remarks that he likes his omelets "extra fluffy". It's how he always orders it at the NRC cafeteria.

Least Favorite: pepper (ie the more bitter green ones; JP)/bell peppers (ie red/yellow ones EN)

No matter how small they're chopped, Deuce has never been able to eat (bell) peppers. He says the flavor and the smell are too overpowering for him.

SPECULATION: Pepper is a commonly disliked food among young children in Japan. It’s similar to how broccoli is disliked by children in the west. The implication may be that Deuce is still immature like a little kid that hates peppers.

Leona

Favorite: meat

The only reason Leona provides is pretty vague; he says he needs the protein so he can perform to the best of his abilities in magical shift/spelldrive.

Least Favorite: vegetables

He claims that if a carnivore is eating greens, then it's sick. Therefore, there is "no reason" for him to eat any. He's perfectly healthy!

SPECULATION: Given that Leona also refers to others as "herbivore" in a derogatory sense, it's possible that he views those who eat plants as weaker than him. He, with the DNA of a carnivore, is technically "above" them in the food chain and doesn't deign to "lower" himself to their status by eating vegetables. This implies that a lot of his tastes essentially boil down to "I'm a lion, lions don't eat vegetables (heavy sarcasm)."

Ruggie

Favorite: donuts

Ruggie's family struggled to put food on the table, so they couldn't afford birthday cakes. Instead, Granny Bucchi would make simple donuts for him. He loves the warm and fluffy insides and crispy outsides.

Once Ruggie started earning income through various part-time jobs, they could afford ingredients to make fancier donuts with different toppings such as chocolate dip and almonds. Even though Ruggie can now afford to get himself a birthday cake, he still craves his grandma's homemade donuts.

Least Favorite: anything rotten

When Ruggie was younger, he got a nasty stomachache from eating old bone-in steak. He learned from that experience that if food rots, it's ruined and he can't shouldn't eat it for his health and safety.

He will basically eat anything as long as it isn't rotten though. This includes bones, as hyenas have strong jaws and are able to munch on them.

Jack

Favorite: pear compote

The pear is Jack's preferred fruit. He specifically likes compote because it is sweet. Jack says that a good compote will help melt exhaustion and restore lost carbohydrates after a workout.

Least Favorite: green onions

While Jack does not comment on green onions in particular, it is implied that he does not care for them because they are smelly. He comments that the cafeteria's soup has too many onions in it and that it messes with his sense of smell. Being a wolf beastman, his senses are heightened, so he is sensitive to smells.

Azul

Favorite: fried chicken (EN)/kaarage (JP)

No special reason is given in-game. Azul enjoys fried chicken but does not allow himself to eat it often as he is aware of how unhealthy it is.

He has tried many recipe substitutions to make his favorite food healthier for his consumption, but the flavor and texture always fall short of the real thing. Some methods he has already tried include using cooking methods other than deep-frying and using soy beans instead of meat.

SPECULATION: It can be inferred that fried chicken is a favorite of Azul's since childhood, and something that his mother served him in high amounts during celebrations. This may be led to his overweightness as a child, something which he holds a lot of lingering insecurities about.

Least Favorite: healthy foods (EN)/nutritionally balanced meals (JP)

Azul recalls a period of his life when he would eat mostly health food since it is an easy way to count calories. After a while, he began to dislike health food for this very reason.

Jade

Favorite: octopus carpaccio

No special reason is given in-game.

SPECULATION: The meta reason for this being Jade's favorite food is likely because moray eels (which the twins are) eat octopus. Carpaccio is a dish that is served raw, just like how real moral eats consume octopus.

Least Favorite: conger eel

Jade says that he dislikes conger (saltwater) eels because "the texture simply does not live up to [his] tastes".

Floyd

Favorite: takoyaki

Floyd likes to put unusual stuff inside takoyaki instead of the typical octopus filling. It keeps him from getting bored. Fillings he has tried before include cheese, shrimp, sausage, oysters, tomato, broccoli, strawberries, whipped cream, chocolate, anchovies, potato salad, and konjac.

He gets a real kick out of seeing who can make the worst tasting takoyaki. No matter how bad the odd fillings taste, Floyd eats every last one. He doesn't want to get told off by Azul for wasting food.

He has plenty of practice flipping takoyaki in the pan, so it isn't difficult for him.

Least Favorite: shiitake mushrooms

Jade puts shiitake mushrooms in "pretty much anything". Because of this, just seeing a shiitake mushroom pisses Floyd off.

Kalim

Favorite: coconut juice

There is no clear in-game reason provided. However, Kalim likes coconut juice to the point where it's not unusual for him to order 100 coconuts from a fruit vendor in Silk City.

SPECULATION: Aside from being a refreshing beverage, coconut juice has historically been used to reverse the effects of poisons and drug overdoses in both India and Africa. We know that Kalim has had multiple attempts on his life, including intentional poisoning of his food, so this may be why Kalim has acquired a taste for coconut juice.

Least Favorite: curry

Kalim's dislike of curry originates from an incident in which Jamil, his dedicated food tester, fell into a two week-long coma after tasting poisoned curry intended for Kalim. He has not been able to stomach curry since.

Jamil

Favorite: curry

Despite going through a traumatic experience with curry, it remains Jamil's favorite food. It hasn't really deterred him.

SPECULATION: Jamil expresses interest in sampling curries from all over Twisted Wonderland, as it is different in every country. Therefore, curry may be a dish that Jamil sees as "international" and sates his yet-to-be-achieved desire of being free to travel and see the world.

Least Favorite: dates

Jamil used to love eating dates as a child. One day, the dates he had bought from a fruit stall had a bug on them. He freaked out and set off a spell, setting the fruit stall on fire. Jamil has not been able to eat dates since finding that bug on them.

Vil

Favorite: homemade smoothies

Vil likes the customizability of homemade smoothies, especially seeing as he is a model and actor who has to watch his figure. Green smoothies are particularly appealing since they can be chock-full of nutritious fruits and vegetables. It's also easy to alter the flavor to your liking.

Least Favorite: mayonnaise

Vil used to have mayonnaise on his salad when he was younger. This was done almost on a daily basis. He got three pimples from this diet, which were painful and not photogenic for a child star. Vil eventually learned that mayonnaise "doesn't agree with [his] skin". Now he usually takes his salads with salt, olive oil, or vinegar.

He doesn't mind the flavor or the texture of mayonnaise. If he is given mayo in a meal, he won't let it go to waste. He just does not enjoy eating it because of the pimple trauma.

Rook

Favorite: liver pâté

Rook describes it as "a delicacy" that is "both rustic AND refined at the same time". He says he was first captivated by its smooth and creamy texture that melts on your tongue. Rook attributes the appeal of the dish as being dependent on its freshness, so he enjoys it only on rare occasions.

Least Favorite: garlic

He calls his dislike of garlic a "professional aversion". Garlic is smelly and tends to linger after consumption, so Rook worries that the aroma will alert others (whether wild animals or other people) to his presence. He wants to be able to blend in with his surroundings!

Epel

Favorite: yakiniku (JP)/grilled meats (EN), macarons

Epel loves grilled meats because he has fond memories of it from Harveston. His family and neighbors would arrange gatherings where they take big hunks of meat and grill them on a charcoal fire. He admits that it's not fancy, but it makes for a "mighty fine meal". Epel also loves the fresh veggies that you eat with the meat; they have a natural sweetness to them. The veggies can be eaten straight off the grill without sauce and still be perfectly tasty.

Epel says he likes macarons "more" than even grilled meats, but this information is pretty dubious since we learn in his Ceremonial Robes vignettes that Vil seems to have instructed him to make this claim. It's sliiightly confusing because Azul seems to believe Epel does like macarons and questions if his sources were wrong when Epel looks surprised that he knows that (which seems to contradict the idea that Vil told him to lie about his tastes).

When asked why he likes macarons, Epel responds with, "They're... cute. And sweet! And they come in lots of different flavors. They're not very filling, but still." He makes a similar comment about macarons not being very filling in Glorious Masquerade.

Least Favorite: nashi pear (JP)/apple pear (EN)

Epel says that while the flavor of nashi pears is not bad, he dislikes them because "they're jist pretendin' ta look like apples"! Indeed, if you google "nashi pear", you'll see that they visually resemble apples.

In Port Fest, he and Jack get into an argument over what would be a better topping: apples or pears?

Idia

Favorite: sweets (ie candies; JP)/snacks (EN)

Idia says that he likes snack foods and candies because they're easy to eat while gaming.

He also says that he loves DIY candy kits, where you can make your own cute little sweet treats using water and powder packets. "It turns snack time into a game! It's easy to get totally absorbed, too." Idia likes the idea of being able to change the color and shape of the snacks himself. He insists (unprompted) that these DIY candy kits are NOT just for kids.

SPECULATION: This is just a funny thought I had while reading Idia's dialogue, but I wonder if he would also pull out the L (Death Note) style explanation of "I'm a genius, so I use a lot of brain power! So the logic follows that I should eat a lot of carbohydrates/sugar to refuel."

Least Favorite: raw fish

Idia dislikes raw fish because "it stinks, it's lukewarm, it's all slimy and clingy and sticky..."

Another large part of why Idia dislikes dish is because "real" food like that requires proper tableware to eat. He thinks this just adds "pointless busywork" to meals (and has a similar attitude when it comes to cooking). "Who cares how you get nutrients, as long as you get them? Just eat an energy bar with vitamins and minerals! Bam, EZ."

Ortho

Favorite: nothing

Least Favorite: nothing

Ortho does not require nutrients to live, being that he is a technomantic humanoid. He is, however, capable of taking pictures of food and analyzing ingredient makeup.

Idia has made an Oral-Energy-Intake Gear, which allows Ortho to eat food like everyone else. It's not clear what happens to the food Ortho eats though.

Malleus

Favorite: ice-cream

Malleus likes frozen desserts! When he breathes fire, the inside of his mouth gets very hot. Eating something cold like ice-cream helps to cool the temperature of his mouth--and this temperature contrast helps to enhance the flavor of the ice-cream.

Malleus shares an instance when he had frozen a castle and some servants in a tantrum; Lilia was able to salvage the situation by using his magearm and flavored syrups to make shaved ice, which he shared with everyone. He then used this opportunity to teach Malleus to use his powers wisely. This isn’t ice-cream, but it’s still another positive memory Malleus has related to cold desserts.

He likes to try different varieties of frozen treats and compare their flavors and appearances. Malleus doesn't seem to understand all the different nuances though. For example, he has a popsicle stick that declared that he had won something, but didn't know he was supposed to claim a prize. He does, however, understand that it is highly valuable and has it stored somewhere. He plans on bringing it home to Briar Valley when he graduated.

Least Favorite: whole/full-sized cakes

He doesn't have anything against sweets, but rather directs his ire at excess. Malleus never has people to share cakes with, so he ends up trying to eat the whole thing by himself on special occasions. He never finishes them in a single sitting and says they give him heartburn.

Malleus says he may see whole cakes in a better light once he has company to split them with.

Lilia

Favorite: tomato juice

There's not a lot in the way of the tomato juice lore. The best we've got is Lilia remarking that he has recently been into drinking and comparing different tomato juices. He claims the tastes and textures can be very different.

Lilia is also fond of berry juice, which he says is a specialty of Briar Valley. He encourages the guests at his farewell party to indulge in it.

SPECULATION: Some fans headcanon that Lilia likes drinking tomato juice because it resembles blood, and Lilia behaves in very bat-like ways. This could be the specialized traits of his species of fae.

My personal speculation is maybe the reasoning is similar to what is typically given for Jamil's love of curry; Lilia is someone who is worldly and well-traveled, so maybe he just likes tasting the local produce in an easy-to-go-down way.

Least Favorite: marshmallows

Lilia does not like the taste. Additionally, hee thinks it's boring that, despite how bulky they are, they disappear as soon as you put them into your mouth.

Silver

Favorite: mushroom risotto

Silver says that risotto was the first dish he ever cooked himself. He likes the simplicity of it.

SPECULATION: Silver may have a preference for mushroom risotto because it includes an ingredient that is easily foraged in the forest (well, granted you can tell which are edible). Recall that he spent most of his days there and had to take care of himself for unspecified stretches of time when Lilia was off on his travels. Simplicity and ease of access was a big deciding factor in what Silver prepared for himself.

Least Favorite: Lilia’s cooking

… Does this even NEED an explanation? We all know how bad Lilia’s cooking is, and poor Silver somehow grew up on it 😭

What is sort of sweet is that Silver tries to convince himself to get over the poor quality of Lilia’s food by saying that what matters the most is sharing that time with loved ones.

Sebek

Favorite: salmon carpaccio

Sebek has a memory of going fishing at the lake by his grandfather's house with his older brother and sister. His siblings helped Sebek pull a large salmon out and then prepared carpaccio from it to serve for dinner. He loved seeing how delighted his parents and grandpa were to see it at the table. His grandpa even smiled, an occurrence which Sebek notes is rare. Now when he has salmon carpaccio, it reminds him of home.

Sebek says he could have salmon carpaccio for three meals a day and still never get tired of it. Keep in mind that Sebek also has a large appetite (claiming that eating three helpings for one meal is eating light), so that's a LOT of salmon carpaccio.

Least Favorite: black coffee

He cannot so much as tolerate a mouthful of "that muck" because of its bitterness. Indeed, we see how poorly he takes down black coffee when he mixes his order and Malleus's up in Glorious Masquerade.

Sebek is resentful that Silver can drink many cups of black coffee (to keep awake) and that his fellow knight shares a freshly brewed pot with their liege. "IT REALLY GRINDS. MY GEARS."

People have advised Sebek to sweeten his coffee with cream or sugar. He adamantly refuses to do this, since he believes that's something only children would do. "It's mortifying!" Furthermore, Sebek hates the thought of being the "odd one out" taking his coffee differently. "I refuse to let Silver outshine me in a matter so trivial!"

Sebek has been working tirelessly to train himself to tolerate coffee, since he wants to be able to share the same experience with Malleus. Now he is able to take one splash of coffee in his milk.

It should also be noted that Sebek used to dislike vegetables that were very bitter, so it seems that he has an aversion to bitterness in general. He has conquered bitter vegetables and is smug about surpassing that challenge.

SPECULATION: ... This gives the vibes of a child who is still immature so they hate taking down bitter things. I guess it suits Sebek's "I wanna grow up fast!" behavior.

Grim

Favorite: canned tuna

... Look at him. Is he not peak cat? 🤡

SPECULATION: I'd imagine that Grim developed a taste for canned tuna in part because that's most of what he eats on Ramshackle's measly budget. They likely cannot afford fresh fish or other extravagant meals.

Least Favorite: nothing

LISTEN. Grim literally eats ROCKS. Plus, he literally snatches others' food and is eager to try foods and started his own club that revolves around food!! I don't think there's anything he won't consider shoving into his mouth.

Crowley

Favorite: wild game

Crowley describes himself as an avid connoisseur of meat and will eat any meat: beef, pork, chicken, and wild game (also called gibier). He encourages the other staff members to sample new meats when they can.

He claims to "prefer treats with subtler flavors rather than overpowering ones."

Crowley also appears to like mangos. He was excited to try the mango juice of the southern country that he vacationed to in book 4. Crowley also brought back mango souvenirs for the staff, including a sweet and sour mango tea for Trein. He reminisces about the sweet mangos he enjoyed and the sunny beach he was on back then.

SPECULATION: Crowley probably likes wild game because he is twisted from a crow or a raven of some kind. Those birds are known to scavenge the meat of various dead animals (carrion).

Least Favorite: unknown

While we don’t have a confirmation for what Crowley’s least favorite food is, he doesn’t seem to like spicy foods—or, at least, he does not tolerate spice well. He complains about the tomato stew at the cafeteria causing him to sweat and cry at the same time. Crowley is also hesitant to sample Scarabian cuisine since he has heard that their food is liberally spiced.

Crewel

Favorite: raisin butter

Crewel says that raisin butter pairs well with adult beverages. He finds the aftertaste of raisin butter excellent and enjoys its appearance too--its spotted look reminds him of dalmatians.

Crewel indicates that he enjoys tea; he brews his own blends and frequents a specialty coffee stall in the Foothill Town for its tea. He has known the owner since he was a student and pals around with him.

SPECULATION: It’s notable that raisins, which are in Crewel’s favorite food, are deadly to dogs. This is ironic, because we know that Crewel is an avid lover of canines—but the character he is twisted from, Cruella de Vil, loathes dogs and is rumored to skin them for fur coats.

Least Favorite: unknown

Sam

Favorite: chicken gumbo

SPECULATION: As far as I'm aware (and believe me, I looked everywhere I could), there's no given in-game explanation for why this is Sam's favorite. The best I've got is that chicken gumbo is a regional dish from New Orleans, the region from which The Princess and the Frog is inspired by.

Least Favorite: unknown

Trein

Favorite: vichyssoise

Trein finds the texture of the vichyssoise served by the NRC cafeteria smooth and pleasant. The students don't have the same appreciation for it; Trein says that he is the only one that ever orders the dish.

SPECULATION: Like Sam, Trein is not provided with a clear reason why he favors vichyssoise. But!! If we think about the composition of the dish, it's made with very cheap and accessible ingredients--even a peasant could afford them. Vichyssoise, then, could be representative of the story of Cinderella, where a kind-hearted girl's beauty was able to shine even when she was covered in cinders. The beauty of even simple vegetables is able to shine in vichyssoise!

Least Favorite: unknown

Vargas

Favorite: raw eggs

Vargas reports eating large amounts of raw eggs (roughly 60 for a single meal). He was told by the cafeteria ghosts that it would be troublesome if he ate so many of their eggs every time he dines there, so he has since started to bring his own eggs.

Sam tries to avoid stocking perishables, but the one exception is eggs. That's because Vargas always buys his entire stock.

SPECULATION: A meta reason for why Vargas eats an absurd amount of raw eggs is that this is a clear reference to Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. In his villain song, Gaston says he eats 5 dozen eggs, which is exactly 60--the same amount that Vargas eats. He needs a lot of protein to maintain his muscles!

Least Favorite: unknown

Rollo

Favorite: grapes

Rollo eats the same lunch 365 days a year, and prefers to take it in an area away from others. (Presumably, he does the same with his other meals.) This lunch consists of 2 croissants, a cup of café au lait (coffee with milk), and exactly 16 grapes.

He says that, with a strict routine like this, he can forgo unnecessary desires. Rollo finds it refreshing and recommends that others try it. The exception seems to be special occasions; he says he has an extra croissant on those days.

SPECULATION: No canon reason is given for why Rollo loves grapes (many fans actually thought croissants were his favorite before his SSR came out). What I believe is that Rollo likes grapes because they're easy to count and limit one's consumption of (because of how small they are). It fits perfectly into his stringent life.

Least Favorite: savarin

SPECULATION: Again, no canon reason is given. If I had to speculate based on what I know of him and how he takes his meals, then... I'd wager he doesn't like savarin because of how overly indulgent it is. It's a ring-shaped cake soaked in flavored syrup and then topped with cream and various fruits. For someone who regularly has bread and one type of fruit (grapes) for his meals, savarin is basically a sin.

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere Characters Were on Tumblr...

Sure, we blog about Cosmere characters. But what if they were here, blogging for themselves? Here is what I think it might be like...

1. Dalinar: Never changes the default icon

He gets blocked a lot.

Dalinar: How odd. No matter how many blogs I follow, my “dashboard” remains empty.

Renarin: I think they all blocked you because they think you’re a bot.

Dalinar: A bot? But I took your advice and chose a unique blog name: Big_D9762.

Renarin: ...

Dalinar: What?

2. Jasnah: Acts like Neil Gaiman

She comes on tumblr as a break from doing research and ruling, answers a few questions, and leaves again.

Anonymous asked: I love your work breaking down gender barriers in Alethkar by being queen and stuff! Do you plan to further erode unnecessary gender distinctions, like by letting women eat spicy food and show both hands?

Jasnah-Kholin: Wait and See.

3. Vin: Reblogs a thousand things in a mad fury and then disappears for days

She does not use the queue function.

Vin: Yeah...I don’t fuck with the the queue function. If you see me, you see me.

Elend: Hey Vin, did you reblog the crab rave like 15 times in a row?

Vin: I was feeling it.

4. Elend: Has a carefully curated queue

His “queue” tag is “Vin is a queue-T.”

Elend: The only exception I make are donation posts and political ones, since those need to be reblogged immediately.

Elend: But otherwise, the queue function is great for lovely, regular content!

5. Adolin: Runs a fashion blog

He has ALL of the Rosharan runways.

Adolin: It’s easy to let Alethi fashion dominate, but a REAL fashion blogger makes sure to have a wide variety of nations and fashions.

6. Shallan: Posts her art

And she tries not to be frustrated when her quick Kaladin sketch gets tons more notes than her very detailed sketch of the chasmfiend.

Shallan: It’s like, I get it--Kaladin fan art is ALWAYS popular.

Shallan: But that chasmfiend was very detailed!

Adolin: Maybe you should draw Kaladin riding it.

Adolin: Shirtless.

Shallan: ...

Shallan: I’ll take my three notes, thank you very much.

7. Tien: Always reblogs no-note art posts

And he always leaves a nice comment too!

Tien: The colors in this are so lovely!!

8. Navani: Considers herself a tumblr patron

She’s one of those bloggers who, if she reblogs your post, you know you’re about to make it big.

Navani: I don’t really make original posts, of course. I’m not a real blogger.

Navani: I just find other people’s clever posts and help promote them!

Navani (typing): "This...has...10,000...notes...to...me...”

Navani: You know they’re happy when they just respond “PLEASE NO”

9. Kelsier: Stirs up his followers with so. much. discourse.

Especially about Hoid.

Kelsier: Friendly reminder that Hoid (1) will let a planet burn to get what he wants; (2) beat up an innocent ghost (me) once; (3) is dating someone WAY younger than he is; (4) insults women.

Hoid: I insulted men too. I was the King’s Wit.

Kelsier: I’m adding you to my DNI.

10. Szeth: Very popular for his “shit posts”

Szeth, of course, is 100% sincere the entire time.

Szeth: It is odd.

Szeth: The vent post I made that simply said “my talking sword is a bad conversationalist” has like a million notes.

Szeth: ...

Szeth: Tumblr is a strange place.  

[temis-de-leon]

Replaced MC AU/AU - V. 2

Characters: demon brothers, fem!MC and flirty! fem! NES (MC x NES)

Intro – gn!MC , fem!MC x male!NES (Part 1) , male!MC x male!NES (Part 1 , Part 2)

Masterlist , about the NESs

CW: rejection, abandonment, women flirt hard from my experience but this is mild i think, suggestive but also mild, lession 16 mentioned, MC is not stupid and deserves to vent, no comfort in this one folks, my favouritism is showing

A/N: Jesus Christ guys. On another note, for those who couldn't be tagged: please check if you can fix the problem! I don't mind sending you a private message, but it's easier this way :)

.

It was a surprise for Lucifer, somehow, seeing someone like MC so content with someone like NES. When one smiled, the other frowned; sweet and spicy; beauty and brawn. The brothers had naively thought having MC share her room was bound to cause problems, but how wrong they were.

Four months into the second year of the program, the two girls had already merged their closets, creating a unique style with their combined clothing. They’d also decided to use one of the beds for storage, sleeping together in the other. The first time that happened and all of them had to face Belphie’s resentment, Lucifer had feared for NES’s safety and even considered confining his brother in the attic again. Thankfully, and surprisingly, the younger demon had opted for the pettier option: ignoring MC altogether and treating NES like a rotten piece of furniture.

He was probably hoping for MC to feel guilty enough to completely ignore NES and come crawling back to him, but, as different as they were, both humans quickly became two peas in a pod, always walking hand in hand, shoulders brushing while exchanging secrets that no one else was allowed to hear.

Overall, the whole situation had become a recurrent topic in the brothers’ groupchat and, while Lucifer wanted to remain as nonchalant as ever, it was impossible to hide his opinions on the matter.

He wasn’t happy.

None of them were.

.

.

Mammon wanted her gone.

He wanted her gone now.

Who did she think she was, stealing MC’s attention from him and acting like she didn’t know what she was doing? Sitting next to her at every meal, massaging her scalp during movie nights and waking her up at odd hours because she liked ‘those late night talks’ in the kitchen?

What type of talks were ‘those’? MC could have them with Mammon; she didn’t need NES! She had him, after all. Her first man!

“Well, I’m her first woman then” answered NES the time they argued over who was gonna sit next to MC in class.

Who did she think she was?!

“Are you okay, Mammon? You seem upset”

And there she came, the bane of his existence, already dressed up in her RAD uniform and dragging MC by the hand. Both of them looked tired and Mammon realized with primal horror that no noise had come from the kitchen that night.

“Why are you so tired?! MC!”

Her only answer was a yawn, so NES gave herself the right to talk on her behalf; but not before handing MC some food for breakfast, of course. 

Although half of it was burnt, Mammon still hoped MC would like it.

“Oh, we were up for a long while, barely slept at all. Right, MC?”

She nodded, happy under the pampering, but her eyelids were half closed and she didn’t seem to notice she was eating her favorites. 

Mammon stared at them in shock and distraught before sparing a glance at Lucifer, who was too occupied checking his DDD and drinking his coffee to pay attention. Had he really looked at him, though, he would’ve seen a twitch in his brother’s forehead and a stillness in his eyes; he wasn’t reading at all.

“Then maybe MC and I could take a nap after class”

They all looked at Belphie, who had started to show an unusual interest in going to RAD those last few days. He was smiling like a kid in a candy store, already gawking at the idea of spending quality time with MC, or, at least, what he considered quality time.

His expression dropped, however, when MC shared a complicit glance with NES and smiled apologetically.

“I’m sorry Belphie, but I already made plans with NES”

“We’re going to Majolish” added said girl with a sly glint in her eyes “MC saw some clothes and wanted an outside opinion” 

Belphie looked downright offended, but not as much as Mammon felt. What did she mean they were going to Majolish because MC wanted an outside opinion? He was there! He was literally a model!! Hell, even Asmo would've been a better choice!

“I’ll go with you!” he announced, not asking for permission “I’m a professional, you know? You should be thankful I’m even considering wasting my time on some dumb humans!”

The youngest demon rolled his eyes, but NES’s expression briefly flickered and that was almost enough for Mammon. Beside him, at the head of the table, Lucifer sighed. 

“Do what you want, but if you end up third wheeling, that’s on you”

MC laughed, neither confirming nor denying anything. NES watched over the brim of her mug, challenging them with unsaid words.

Mammon wanted her gone.

.

.

Famine woke Beel up, like always, so he went to the kitchen, like always. It’d been MC’s turn to cook that night and he was pretty sure she’d stored some leftovers in the fridge for him. It was nice, being remembered even when she was too occupied with NES to pay them attention anymore. It brought some comfort, as well as a small smile to his face.

But much to his chagrin, the kitchen light was already turned on when he arrived, and his mood soured when he saw what was happening. Beel’s heart dropped and plummeted through his guts, deepening the black hole in his stomach. MC was leaning against the counter, creating some concoction in a bowl, while NES hugged her from behind. Both of them waved at him when he made his presence known, getting no greetings in return.

“Hi, Beel! I left food in the fridge for you!”

He wanted to be happy and thank her for the trouble, but he wasn’t able to think properly, not when NES’s face was snuggled into the fluff of MC’s hoodie, hands sneaking around her waist and disappearing under the material.

What was she doing? Should he stop her? But MC looked so cozy… not uncomfortable at all. His throat closed at the same time his stomach roared loud enough to fill the silence in the kitchen.

“Beel, are you okay?” 

“You seem upset”

MC looked worried, but NES’s words crammed his mind. She’d said the same thing to Mammon that morning wearing the same self-satisfied expression.

Ignoring his needs and his emptiness, Beel turned around and left them alone.

.

.

MC was seething. Her thoughts were a mere blurr and a sting in her throat left her unable to speak her mind the way she wanted to do it.

Was he serious?

Were they serious? Those self-righteous hypocrites! 

“We think it’s for the best, MC” spoke Lucifer like she was a child too slow to get his point.

“She’s playing with you, honey! She’ll hurt you!”

The gall. The audacity. The… ugh!

She stared at Asmo baring her teeth, never a threat to them, but a gesture so uncharacteristic of her that it was impossible not to treat the situation seriously. The common room was silent, yet MC was sure every single one of them was able to hear the violent thumping of her heart.

“We’re doing this for you”

“FOR ME?” she screeched at Belphie.

A scream would’ve made her feel better, but she guessed the high pitch got her point across good enough, her anger reaching every corner of the room. The brothers stayed silent, eyes wide open and muscles tense, waiting for her next movement. Not even when she got up from her seat and paced they spoke.

“YOU DO THIS FOR YOU!” 

“MC, lower your voice”

“NO”

Lucifer glared at her, the red in his eyes glowing dangerously. MC wanted to keep going just to spite him, begrudgingly giving up in the end. She was close to crying out of frustration and her throat hurted, so screaming would only hurt her more.

“You were the ones that insisted so much on having another human exchange student” she reminded them, stopping in front of the fireplace and basking in the warmth for some comfort, pointing to the eldest brother with clenched jaws “You said it would improve the program!”

“She’s holding you back, distracting you and using you for her own entertainment!” intervened Satan before Lucifer could speak.

“Oh, because you were so altruistic last year! Treating me with all the respect I deserved! Totally not threatening me all the time or even killing me for selfish reasons! You’d never do that to me, would you?!”

They lowered their gaze, suddenly very embarrassed, and MC felt a part of her healing. Then she saw Levi’s glassy eyes and Beel’s defeated expression. Neither Mammon nor Belphie weren’t even looking at her anymore. And she could live without Belphie’s half-hearted apologies, but not without the brothers under a pact.

“I believe this is enough, MC. Calm down and we’ll talk again in the morning”

Lucifer got up, his voice completely neutral, but his eyes pleading and desperate. He started to close the distance, but she got away, walking towards the door without breaking eye contact.

“You were so on board with this, Lucifer!”

The tears swelled in her eyes. Hot tears breaking her a little more, fuelling her anger. 

“Do you really think I’m not aware of what she’s doing? We share a room, you morons! I've lived with her more than I’ve ever lived with you!” 

There was silence again, four of them looking at her with visible pain and the other three leaning against each other.

Fuck it then.

“It’s all good and awesome when you’re the ones in favor, but when I’m the one having fun, suddenly NES has to go away?! Do you hear yourselves?! I’m so done with you thinking I owe you anything at all, let alone my fucking soul! Half of our pacts weren't even born out of friendship, so hear me out and hear me well! Get your heads out of your asses and for once in your life: LEAVE ME ALONE!”

MC walked away, closing the door at full force and leaving them behind in more ways than one.

How could they ever get over this?

.

.

.

Taglist: : @stfuchaase @k1-an @meggs-wonderland @kkeromenoo @va109 @marvelous-maniac @cruzerforce4256 @blarsh @marathedemonoverlord @junni-berry @arylleb @b-a-m-2006 @jonielunar @piercedddriver @cosmidaydreaming

[wannabehockeygf]

wanted to see if i could request 50 and/or 60 with auston matthews please <3

an ego thing - auston matthews

“There are two ways that we can do this,

I know which one would be more fun,

I won’t go first, won’t apologize,

Pretty sure that it’s an ego thing,

But I cant stand a compromise.”

🔥 PROMPT #50 / #60: “Are you acting like a brat for a reason? // You wanted this, didn’t you?”

summary: an innocent night out twists once behind closed doors.

word count: 5.3k

pairing: Auston Matthews x fem!reader

warnings: 18+ NSFW! Unprotected sex, fingering (f receiving), edging, blink and you’ll miss it spanking, choking, crying, general kinky shit, and degradation/derogatory language.

notes:

- back to smut I guess !!

- ^ I’ve been having trouble writing spicy things recently :( hopefully this isn’t awful

- not proof read

***

The night air was cool against your skin, a welcome relief after the heat of the day. The streets of downtown Toronto buzzed with the low hum of people enjoying the last vestiges of summer, the city still alive despite the late hour. Hand in hand with your boyfriend, you felt the tension of the week finally start to melt away. His fingers intertwined with yours, grounding you, reminding you of how much you’d missed this—missed him—amid the chaos of work and his training.

The dinner with his teammates had been perfect. Laughter, good food, the easy camaraderie of a group who knew each other well. It was the kind of night that reminded you why you loved this city, this life. The weight of the world seemed lighter, and for the first time in what felt like ages, you allowed yourself to just be.

But now, as you walked back to his apartment, something shifted. Maybe it was the way his thumb stroked the back of your hand, or the way his voice had dropped a little lower as the night went on. You couldn’t quite place it, but a different kind of tension simmered beneath the surface, one that had nothing to do with stress or exhaustion.

You tried to brush it off, to focus on the conversation that had flowed so easily all night, but it was there—nagging at the back of your mind, a spark waiting for a flame.

By the time you reached his building, the air between you felt charged, almost electric. Still, you laughed at some joke he made as the elevator doors closed, the sound bouncing off the sleek, mirrored walls. But underneath, you couldn’t ignore the way your heart started to race, the anticipation that coiled tight in your stomach.

And then the door to his apartment clicked shut behind you.

Before you could fully register the change, he had you pinned against it, his body pressed flush against yours. The cool wood of the door bit into your back, a sharp contrast to the heat radiating from him. His hand found your throat, fingers wrapping around your neck with just enough pressure to make your breath catch, your pulse thrumming wildly beneath his touch.

“Auston, what are you—“

“Don’t fucking act surprised,” he spits out, almost hisses as he adjusts his hand, just enough so you’re forced to look up at him.

His fingers tightened slightly around your throat, not enough to hurt, but enough to keep you exactly where he wanted you. The look in his eyes was dark, intense—like he was barely holding himself back. Your heart pounded against your ribs, a wild drumbeat that echoed in your ears as his other hand settled on your waist, fingers digging into your hip.

You swallowed hard, the movement restricted by the grip he had on you, and you tried to find your voice. “Auston, I—”

“You what?” he cut you off, his voice a low growl that sent a shiver down your spine. “You didn’t think I’d notice? Didn’t think I’d see what you were doing tonight?”

Your mind raced, trying to piece together exactly what had pushed him to this edge. His gaze burned into you, leaving no room for doubt—he was talking about everything you’d done at dinner, every little touch, every playful glance. And suddenly, it all clicked.

The way you’d brushed your leg against his under the table, seemingly accidental but deliberately lingering just a second too long. The subtle arch of your back when you leaned across the table to grab your drink, knowing full well his eyes were on you. The casual way your fingers trailed up his arm, your nails lightly scratching the fabric of his shirt, sending a current of electricity straight through him.

He remembered every single thing.

Your breath hitched as his hand on your waist pushed a strap on your shoulder down to expose more skin, his fingers scorching hot against your skin. “I’ve been trying to keep it together all night, trying not to fucking drag you out of that restaurant and make you pay for all the shit you pulled,” he murmured, his voice rough with restraint. “But you had to keep pushing, didn’t you?”

You could barely think straight, your body responding to his words, to the way he held you like he was claiming you. Your skin tingled where he touched you, every nerve ending hyper-aware of him. His fingers at your throat flexed, his thumb brushing over your pulse, feeling how wildly it raced for him.

You weren’t used to seeing Auston like this—this raw, this possessive. And God, it turned you on more than you could’ve imagined.

He leaned in, his breath hot against your ear. “All night, baby. You’ve been teasing me all fucking night,” he rasped, his voice dripping with frustration, need. “And now, you’re gonna see what that does to me.”

A whimper escaped your lips before you could stop it, your knees going weak under his relentless grip. You could feel the hard lines of his body pressing against you, the tension coiled tight in every muscle.

You couldn’t breathe. Not because Auston’s hand was wrapped around your throat, though that certainly didn’t help—but because of the way he looked at you. Like he wanted to devour you whole, to make you pay for every single time you’d pushed his buttons tonight. You’d seen Auston frustrated, seen him riled up on the ice, but this…this was different. This was personal. This was desire laced with possession, with a need to remind you exactly where you stood with him.

Your pulse fluttered beneath his fingers, and you could feel the way his grip tightened, just slightly, as he watched you struggle to form a coherent thought. Auston had always been in control, always the one to take the lead, but this…this was him completely unraveling. And it was because of you.

The realization sent a thrill through you, a mix of fear and arousal that only seemed to feed the fire burning in his eyes. You’d pushed him tonight, and now he was pushing back, harder than you could’ve ever imagined.

“You think you can just fuck with me like that?” His voice was low, gravelly, each word dripping with frustration as he leaned in closer, his breath hot against your skin. “You think I wouldn’t notice you practically fucking me with your eyes in front of everyone? Or the way you dragged your nails down my arm, like you couldn’t wait to get your hands on me?”

Auston’s words cut through you, sharp and precise, and you felt your knees weaken beneath you as the memory of every little touch, every teasing glance flashed through your mind. You’d done it on purpose, of course—pushing him, testing him, seeing how far you could go before he snapped. But you hadn’t expected this. Hadn’t expected him to pin you against the door the moment you were alone, to hold you there like he owned you.

And maybe, deep down, that’s exactly what you wanted.

The dress you wore—a short, sleek number that clung to your body in all the right places—suddenly felt too tight, too constricting, and you shifted against the door. The fabric slid up your thighs slightly, and Auston’s eyes dropped, his gaze following the movement with an intensity that made your heart stutter in your chest.

“God, this dress,” he growled, his hand on your waist tightening its grip as if to anchor himself. “You knew exactly what you were doing, didn’t you? Wearing this fucking thing and practically begging me to lose my mind all night.”

You swallowed hard, the motion restricted by his hand still gently holding your throat. His thumb brushed over the delicate skin there, and you shivered, a whimper escaping your lips before you could stop it. “Auston, I—”

“Shut up,” he snapped, voice low and commanding, and it sent a thrill through you, pooling heat low in your belly. “You don’t get to talk, not after the shit you pulled tonight.”

He leaned in closer, his lips hovering just inches from yours, teasing you with his proximity but not quite touching. His breath ghosted over your lips, warm and intoxicating, and you felt your resolve weaken, every part of you straining toward him.

“You think I didn’t notice?” he murmured, voice soft but laced with a dangerous edge. “The way you kept looking at me like you wanted to eat me alive, running your tongue over your lips every time I caught your eye. Fuck, baby, you’re lucky I didn’t bend you over that table right then and there.”

Your cheeks flushed at his words, a delicious heat spreading through you as you remembered every little thing you’d done to get under his skin tonight. The way you’d leaned in close when he was talking to someone else, your breath hot against his ear as you whispered something innocent yet loaded with innuendo. The way your fingers had traced the lines of his tattoos when no one was looking, your touch light and teasing, promising something more if he could just be patient.

But Auston Matthews was never a patient man.

His hand on your throat tightened just a fraction, drawing your attention back to him, and you saw the way his jaw clenched, the muscle ticking as he fought to maintain control. “You wanted this, didn’t you?” he rasped, his lips brushing against yours with every word. “Pushing me all night, knowing exactly what it would do to me. You were begging for this. For me to lose my fucking mind over you.”

You whimpered, a soft, needy sound that escaped before you could stop it, and you felt Auston’s grip tighten in response, his body pressing even closer to yours. The fabric of your dress bunched up slightly as his hand slid up your thigh, the cool air brushing against your exposed skin and sending a shiver up your spine. His thumb stroked the inside of your thigh, teasing, just barely brushing against the edge of your panties, and you couldn’t stop the moan that spilled from your lips.

Auston’s fingers flex around your throat, just enough to remind you that he’s in control, and you feel your pulse flutter wildly beneath his touch. “You know exactly what you’re doing, don’t you, baby?” he growls, his voice rough with need as his eyes roam over your body, taking in every detail. “You wore this tight little thing just to drive me fucking insane…”

Your cheeks burn at his words, but you can’t help the way your body responds, a shiver running down your spine as his gaze locks onto yours, dark and hungry. You know he’s right—you knew exactly what you were doing tonight, every touch, every look, all of it designed to push him to his limit. And now, it’s backfired in the best way possible.

“God, baby,” he murmurs, his breath hot against your skin as he leans in, his lips brushing against your ear. “You’ve been teasing me all night, making me watch you flirt and laugh with my teammates, touching me under the table like it was some kind of fucking game.” His voice is a low, dangerous whisper, and you can feel the frustration rolling off him in waves. “You know how hard it was for me to sit there and pretend like I wasn’t ready to drag you out of there and fuck you senseless?”

Your breath hitches in your throat, and you can feel the heat radiating from his body, his words sinking into your skin like molten lava. “Auston, I—”

“Don’t,” he cuts you off, his grip on your throat tightening just a fraction, enough to make you gasp, your eyes wide as you look up at him. “Don’t act like you’re innocent, sweetheart. You knew exactly what you were doing.” His thumb brushes over your pulse, feeling the rapid beat beneath his touch, and he smirks, a dark, possessive glint in his eyes. “You wanted me to lose my mind over you. You wanted me to fucking claim you.”

You can’t help the way your body reacts to his words, your skin tingling, your thighs pressing together as you feel a flood of heat between your legs. The way he’s looking at you, like he wants to devour you whole, makes your heart race, and you realize you’ve never wanted him more than you do right now.

“I saw the way you looked at me,” he continues, his voice a low growl that sends a shiver down your spine. “Every time I caught your eye, the way you bit your lip like you were imagining what it would feel like to have me between your legs, fucking you right there in front of everyone.” His hand slips down from your throat, trailing over your collarbone, his fingers brushing against the swell of your breasts, and you can’t help the soft moan that escapes your lips. “You knew exactly how to get under my skin, baby.”

You feel like you’re on fire, every nerve ending buzzing with electricity as his touch leaves a trail of heat across your skin. “Auston, please,” you manage to whisper, your voice shaky, your body trembling with anticipation. “I…I didn’t mean to—”

He cuts you off with a low, dark chuckle, his lips curling into a smirk as his hand moves lower, tracing the curve of your waist, his fingers slipping under the hem of your dress. “Oh, you meant it,” he murmurs, his voice dripping with possessive desire as his hand slides up your thigh, pushing the fabric of your dress higher, exposing more of your skin to the cool air. “You wanted to see how far you could push me. You wanted to see what would happen if you teased me enough.”

Your breath catches in your throat as his fingers brush against the lace of your panties, his touch light and teasing, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. “And now,” he whispers, his lips grazing the shell of your ear, “you’re going to find out exactly what happens when you push me too far.”

His hand moves between your legs, and you can’t help the gasp that escapes your lips as his fingers press against you, teasing you through the thin fabric. “Fuck, you’re already so wet for me,” he growls, his voice low and rough as his fingers slide over the damp material, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. “You’ve been like this all night, haven’t you? So fucking desperate for me to touch you, to make you mine.”

You can’t think, can’t breathe, every part of you focused on the feel of his hand between your legs, his fingers rubbing slow, teasing circles over your clit through your panties. “Auston, please,” you gasp out, your hips bucking against his hand, seeking more of the friction you crave. “I…I need you.”

He lets out a low, satisfied hum, his lips curling into a smirk as he watches you squirm against the door. “Yeah? You need me, baby?” he taunts, his voice dark and seductive as he slips his fingers under the lace, brushing against your slick folds, making you moan softly. “You need me to fuck you right here, against this door, and show you exactly who you belong to?”

You nod frantically, your mind hazy with desire, your body aching for more of his touch. “Yes,” you breathe, your voice barely more than a whisper as you press yourself against him, desperate for more. “Please, I need you.”

His fingers slip inside you, filling you with a delicious stretch, and you can’t help the loud moan that escapes your lips as he starts to move, slow and deliberate, his eyes never leaving yours. “That’s right, sweetheart,” he murmurs, his voice a low growl that makes your toes curl. “You’re mine. You’ve always been mine.”

Your breath is ragged, every nerve ending alive as Auston’s fingers curl inside you, hitting that perfect spot that makes stars dance behind your eyelids. Your hips move of their own accord, grinding down against his hand, seeking the friction that only he can provide. The cool wood of the door against your back is a stark contrast to the heat coursing through your veins, and all you can think about is him—his touch, his voice, his body pressed up against yours.

He leans in closer, his breath hot on your ear. “That’s it, baby,” he murmurs, his voice rough and filled with need. “Take what you need from me. Show me how much you want it.”

Your hands find his shoulders, nails digging into his skin through the fabric of his shirt, and you can feel the muscles tensing beneath your touch. You pull him closer, your lips finding his in a desperate kiss, all teeth and tongue and heat. He responds immediately, his free hand tangling in your hair, pulling your head back slightly to deepen the kiss, to take control just like he always does.

You’re lost in him, in the feel of his fingers moving inside you, the way his body cages you in, holding you exactly where he wants you. Every touch, every kiss, every whispered word is a reminder of who he is, of what he means to you, and you find yourself melting under his touch, giving in to the desire that’s been simmering between you all night.

He breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck, sucking and biting at the sensitive skin there, leaving marks that will no doubt bloom into bruises come morning. You don’t care. You want his mark on you, a reminder of this moment, of the way he makes you feel.

You swallow hard, your breath coming in shallow pants as his hand grips your thigh, lifting it slightly to wrap around his hip. The new angle makes his fingers inside you press even deeper, and you moan, your head falling back against the door. “Auston, please,” you whisper, your voice shaky with need, every inch of you trembling as you cling to him.

“Please, what?” he growls, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, making you shiver. “Please fuck you like the brat you are? Please make you pay for teasing me all night, for making me watch you flirt with my teammates like you belong to anyone but me?”

You can’t find the words to respond, your mind too foggy with need, your body too focused on the way he’s touching you, the way he’s drawing out every ounce of pleasure he can from you. All you can do is nod, a small, desperate sound escaping your lips as you cling to him, your nails digging into his shoulders, your legs shaking as he continues to tease you, to push you closer to the edge.

Auston pulls his fingers from your body, the sudden emptiness making you whimper, your hips bucking against nothing as you desperately search for the pleasure you’ve been denied. But he doesn’t give you a chance to catch your breath, doesn’t give you a moment to recover before he’s grabbing your hips, spinning you around and pressing your front against the door, the smooth surface cool against your skin as he pins you there.

The sound of his belt unbuckling, the zipper of his pants being pulled down, sends a thrill of anticipation through you, your entire body buzzing with excitement as you realize what’s about to happen. You can feel the heat radiating from him, the way his body presses against yours, trapping you between him and the door, leaving you with no escape. And you don’t want to escape. Not now, not when you’re this close to getting exactly what you’ve been craving all night.

Auston’s hands are relentless, pushing your dress higher until it pools around your waist, exposing the thin lace panties you've been wearing all night. The cool air brushes against your heated skin, and you shiver, anticipation twisting low in your belly as you feel the rough calluses on his hands against the smoothness of your thighs.

“Look at you,” he murmurs, his voice a low growl that sends a thrill straight to your core. “So fucking perfect for me, all laid out like a fucking gift. You wore these pretty little panties for me, didn’t you? This tiny excuse for underwear, knowing exactly what it would do to me.”

You gasp as his hand slips between your legs, fingers brushing over the damp lace, teasing the sensitive flesh beneath. “I knew you’d like it,” you manage to whisper, your voice trembling as you feel his fingers slide under the fabric, grazing your swollen clit.

Auston’s fingers toyed with the lace of your panties, the delicate fabric contrasting to the roughness of his hands. Your breath caught as he tugged at the material, his touch just a whisper against your skin. The tension in the air was thick, your body vibrating with anticipation as you felt his fingers inch closer to where you needed him most.

But then, with a sudden, violent motion, he tore the lace apart, the sound of fabric ripping echoing in the quiet of his apartment. The shock of it, the sheer force behind his actions, sent a jolt of heat straight to your core, and you whimpered, your body trembling with a mix of fear and desire.

Auston’s voice was low, almost a growl, as he spoke into your ear, “These weren’t gonna last anyway, baby.” His breath was hot against your skin, sending shivers down your spine as he pressed himself closer, his body hard and unyielding against yours. “You’ve been such a fucking tease all night, making me watch you act like some kind of a slut in front of everyone, like you can’t get enough attention.

“Oh, fuck,” you whimpered, your forehead pressing against the door as his hands roamed over your now-bare skin, possessive and rough. The anticipation, the need, was unbearable, and every inch of your body screamed for him to take you, to finally give in to the desire that had been simmering between you all night.

But Auston wasn’t done teasing. He wasn’t going to let you off that easily.

His fingers slipped between your folds, dragging through the slickness there, making you moan desperately. He toyed with you, rubbing slow circles over your clit, then pulling away just as you began to lose yourself in the sensation. Over and over, he brought you to the brink, only to deny you the release you craved, the pleasure just out of reach.

Auston’s grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh with a bruising force that sent a mixture of pain and pleasure shooting through you. You could feel the barely contained rage in his movements, his possessiveness consuming him as he pressed you harder against the door. The wood was cold against your cheek, grounding you just enough to keep from losing yourself completely in the dizzying haze of want and frustration that he was expertly weaving around you.

"You think you can act like that, all needy and desperate for attention," Auston growled, his voice a rough whisper in your ear. "Rubbing up on the guys like you didn’t already know who you belong to. Think I wouldn’t notice? Did you think I’d let you get away with it?" His teeth grazed your earlobe, and you shivered, a choked sob escaping your throat as his hand came down on your ass with a sharp crack.

The sting radiated through you, sharp and delicious, making your breath hitch and tears prick at your eyes. You could feel your body trembling, your legs weak and barely holding you up as he continued his relentless assault, his fingers now sliding through your wetness with purpose. His touch was rough, demanding, like he was claiming you all over again. Every inch of your skin felt electric, every nerve ending alight with the sensation of his calloused fingers and the intense heat of his body pressed against yours.

"Look at you," he taunted, his voice dripping with a mixture of amusement and anger. "So fucking wet for me already. Was this what you wanted, huh? Acting like a little whore just so I’d take you like this?" His fingers slipped inside you abruptly, two thick digits filling you without warning. You gasped, your body arching back against him as a wave of pleasure and pain crashed over you.

"Yes," you whimpered, your voice breaking. "Yes, Auston, please, I’m sorry…I just—"

"Just what?" he cut you off, his fingers curling inside you, finding that spot that made your knees nearly buckle. "Just wanted to see how far you could push me? See if I’d finally lose control and fuck you the way you’ve been begging for all night?" His thumb brushed over your clit, and you cried out, the pleasure shooting through you so intense you saw stars.

Your hips bucked against his hand, desperate for more, but he was quick to pull away, denying you once again. You let out a sob of frustration, your body trembling uncontrollably now, every inch of you aching with the need for release. "Auston, please," you begged, tears streaming down your cheeks, your voice barely more than a broken whisper. "I need you. I’m sorry, I need you so bad, please, I can’t…"

He let out a dark chuckle, clearly reveling in your desperation. "Oh, I know you need me, baby," he murmured, his lips trailing down the side of your neck. "But you’ve been such a bad girl tonight. I’m not sure you deserve it." He bit down on your shoulder, just hard enough to make you gasp, your body jerking in response to the sharp pain.

"Please," you whispered again, your voice raw with need. "Please, Auston, I’ll be good, I swear. I’ll do anything, just please…"

Auston’s breath was hot against your skin as he spoke, his words sending a fresh wave of heat straight to your core. "Anything?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous. "You’d do anything for me to fuck you right now, wouldn’t you, baby? Anything to feel my cock inside you, filling you up, making you scream."

You nodded frantically, the tears blurring your vision as you pressed your forehead harder against the door. "Yes, yes, anything, Auston, please, I need it, I need you…"

He groaned, the sound deep and primal, as if he was barely holding himself back. "Fuck, you’re so fucking pathetic right now," he muttered, his hands moving to grip your waist, lifting you slightly as he kicked your legs apart with his foot. "But I love it. Love how desperate you are, how you’re willing to beg for it like the needy little slut you are."

Before you could even process his words, you felt the blunt head of his cock pressing against your entrance, and you cried out, your body tensing with anticipation. He didn’t give you time to adjust, didn’t give you the chance to breathe, just slammed into you with one brutal thrust, filling you completely. You screamed, the pleasure so intense it was almost painful, your body convulsing around him as he set a punishing pace, his hips slamming against yours with every thrust.

You sobbed, your hands scrambling for purchase against the door, your nails scraping against the wood as you tried to hold on, trying to keep yourself from falling apart under the relentless onslaught of his cock. He was everywhere, inside you, around you, his scent filling your nostrils, his breath hot and heavy against your neck.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he groaned, his voice strained with the effort of holding himself back. "So fucking tight, so perfect for me. You’re mine, you understand? Mine to fuck, mine to punish, mine to take whenever I want."

"Yes, yes, yours, I’m yours," you gasped, your voice breaking on a sob as he thrust into you harder, deeper, his cock hitting that spot inside you that made you see stars. You were so close, so fucking close, the pressure building inside you almost unbearable, but just as you were about to fall over the edge, he pulled out, leaving you empty and aching.

"No!" you cried out, your body convulsing with the loss, the denial of your release almost too much to bear. "Please, please, I need to come, I need it so bad…"

Auston’s hand left your hip, sliding down your body until he reached the juncture of your thighs, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing slow, torturous circles that had you whimpering, your hips bucking uncontrollably against his hand.

"Not yet, baby," he murmured, his voice low and dangerous as he continued his relentless teasing. "You don’t get to come yet. Not until I say so."

The denial was agonizing, the pressure inside you building to an unbearable level as he brought you to the brink over and over again, only to pull back at the last second, leaving you trembling and sobbing with frustration.

"Please," you begged, your voice a broken whisper as you pressed your forehead against the door, your tears soaking into the wood as you struggled to hold on, to keep from losing yourself completely in the dizzying haze of need and desire. "Please, Auston, I can’t…I can’t take it anymore, please…"

Auston’s grip on your hips tightened, his breath hot against your ear as he spoke, his voice low and dangerous. "You think you’ve earned it yet, baby? Think you deserve to come after the way you’ve been acting?" His fingers dug into your flesh, the pain sharp and delicious, making you whimper as you nodded frantically.

"Yes, yes, I promise, I’ll be good, I’ll do anything, please, Auston, please, I need it so bad, I need you…"

He let out a low groan, his hips pressing against yours as he slid his cock back inside you, filling you completely. "Alright, baby," he murmured, his voice strained with the effort of holding back. "But you’d better make it good. I want to feel you come all over my cock, want to hear you scream my name."

You let out a choked sob, your body trembling with the effort of holding back, of keeping yourself together as he began to thrust into you again, his pace rough and demanding. Every inch of you was on fire, every nerve ending screaming with pleasure as he fucked you hard, his cock filling you over and over again, driving you to the brink.

"Fuck, Auston, I’m so close," you gasped, your voice breaking as the pressure built inside you, the pleasure almost too much to bear. "Please, please, I need to come, I need it so bad…"

"Then come for me, baby," he growled, his voice rough and low as he thrust into you harder, deeper, his cock hitting that spot inside you that made you see stars. "Come for me right fucking now."

And with those words, you shattered, your body convulsing around him as the pleasure crashed over you in waves, your orgasm tearing through you with a force that left you breathless and shaking. You screamed his name, your voice raw with need and desperation, as you came undone around him, your body trembling with the aftershocks of your release.

Auston groaned, his hips slamming against yours one final time as he buried himself deep inside you, his own orgasm hitting him with a force that left him breathless and shaking. He held you close, his arms wrapped around you as he rode out the waves of his release, his breath hot against your neck as he whispered your name, his voice soft and tender now.

For a long moment, the two of you just stood there, panting and trembling, your bodies pressed together in the aftermath of your passion. And then, slowly, Auston pulled away, his hands gentle as he planted a kiss on your shoulder. “You okay?”

Okay was an understatement. But you didn’t mind at all, you were exactly where you wanted to be.

[berylcups]

La Squadra x Reader: What makes them laugh

CW: suggestive behavior (Melone being Melone), getting scared, food, spicy food, annoyed pets( no pets real or imaginary were harmed in this post), gamer rage, language barriers, minor DNI

Notes: some of the videos suggest may or may not be offensive to you or your morals (mostly referring to cart narcs and some Gi Joe PSAs) so please view at your own discretion and mental health in mind! This is a post made for funsies and not meant to harm in anyway. Humor is subjective and as someone with privilege but also is AuDHD there maybe somethings I overlooked. Just know that Beryl loves you all and cares about you all 💜 Also regarding Prosciutto…he might be a little OOC. The only real humor I could see him having is like boomer humor or political humor but that is such a gross yucky subject and I want to keep this post as positive as possible. I hope I did him justice! I hope you enjoy either way! 💜 Beryl

Risotto

What type of humor do they have?: dark humor/ jump scare reactions

How do they laugh?: he has a low deep rumble of a chuckle when he does laugh it almost sounds like an evil villain’s laughter. It’s a little intimidating! But don’t tell him that we want him to laugh more! 🖤

Anything you do make them laugh?: anytime something makes you jump he can’t help but let out a chuckle. Whether someone shows up in your line of sight suddenly and it startles you, or a loud noise makes you scream like a crack of lightning.

You were in the kitchen of the base sneaking a piece of a cake, you knew nobody else was home so you could easily steal the last piece of strawberry cake. You felt so evil, you couldn’t help but giggle to yourself!

As soon as you took a forkful and put it near your mouth, a flash of lightning struck and you felt a massive hand on your shoulder with hot breath on your neck.

“…that’s the last piece…I hope you plan on sharing it Y/N…” you heard a deep voice rumble.

The pure rush of adrenaline jolted through you like the lightning outside and you jumped up, dropping the plate and letting out the most high pitched pathetic screech. The plate shattered all over the kitchen floor completely ruining the cake.

“Damn it Risotto! Don’t scare me like that!” You whined. “Stop being invisible and show yourself!”

He chuckled as he revealed himself, he had a rare shit eating grin on his face.

“Sorry… I really couldn’t help myself. It was the perfect opportunity to get you like that.” He snickered as rubbed your head.

“Sigh…I’m happy that you are enjoying yourself. But I almost peed myself and I dropped a perfectly good piece of cake.” You whined.

“Well I hate to say it but karma is a bitch. That’s what happens when you try to sneak off with the last piece.” He smirked as he got out the broom and dust pan.

“And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you being a creeper.” You huffed.

What types of videos make them laugh?: jumpscare reactions- especially if it’s older people playing the scary maze. He thinks it’s hilarious! But he feels bad when he sees little kids get scared, that’s not funny to him 😞 any kid age 12+ though is fine with him- it’s time for them to grow up 😈

Any examples?: nothing specific- look for videos of people getting tricked into getting jump scared 😅 like scary maze, the video of the car driving down through the hills, FNAF, etc.

Formaggio

What type of humor do they have?: funny memes/ voice over parodies

How do they laugh?: he starts off with a goofy low deep chuckle then as it progresses it turns into a roaring laughter where he’s gasping and holding his stomach. Very infectious 🤭

Anything you do make them laugh?: This guy is all giggles! It’s never hard to make him laugh. But his favorite thing is when you reference his favorite videos.

“Hey hey hey~! Get off the counter Asiago!” You scolded the cat. The grey furball turned its butt at you and continued to prance across the counter. “Oh? We’re playing this game huh? Don’t make me give you a body massage~…”

“Who wants a body massage?”you asked in a deep voice, picking up the cat off the counter before she could escape.

“Mister body massage machine GO” you aggressively rubbed the cats belly.

“Pfft hey~! Where’s my body massage?” He laughed watching you playfully manhandle the cat.

“Make me some pork chop sandwiches and maybe zaddy will give ya a body massage!” You struggled to say through your giggling.

The cat was fed up with both of your guys bullshit and jumped out of your arms and ran off hissing.

What types of videos make them laugh?: GI Joe PSAs, Jaboody Dubs- he loves silly voice overs of his favorite American cartoons. Taking them out of context and rewriting the dialogue makes him want to piss himself from laughter.

Any examples?: Pork Chop Sandwiches! I’m a computer, stop all the downloading!

Illuso

What type of humor do they have?: “nailed it “ humor

How do they laugh?: He laughs just as obnoxiously as he does in the dub. Its very unflattering and he sounds like a hyena. Despite that, it’s very contagious!

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you tried to make cute rainbow cupcakes and all the colors bled together making it look like an absolute disaster. The icing melted and the rainbow candy wouldn’t retain its rainbow shape...Its just a sugary sticky mess.

“Ha-Nice job. Very well done.” Illuso snickered. “It looks like a leprechaun vomited all over your cake pan!” he howled.

“It looks so fucking miserable! Did you even try???” he cackled. “Next time, leave the baking to me!”

“Oh fuck off Lulu.”you groaned, rubbing your temples in frustration. “Anytime I pintrest anything, it always-ALWAYS goes wrong.”

He wiped the tears from his face as he tried to calm himself down from his high.

“Hey, hey… Calm down Y/N. Baking is very fickle. I’ll help you out next time. You did the best you could. Trial and error is unfortunately part of the baking process” he said rubbing your back.

“I just really wanted some cute tasty cupcakes…”you pouted.

“I could tell. You didn’t let the cupcakes cool long enough before you put the icing on them. That's why it melted right off.” he stuck a finger in one of the cakes and tasted the frosting. “Mmm…still tastes good though. Lets just eat them anyway. Ugly cake is still good cake.”

.

What types of videos make them laugh?: “Nailed it” show, parkour/stunt fails, live tv bloopers/ fails, makeup fails

Any examples?: grape lady falls

Pesci

What type of humor do they have?: cute animal humor

How do they laugh?: he tries to hold back his laughs but fails with an adorable snort. He has a giggle that sounds like pure joy from an angel. 😇 It’s a big belly laugh and it’s hard not to laugh along with him. Hearing his laugh is always going to put you in a good mood! 😁

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you panic and freak out holding an upset octopus that you accidentally caught while fishing.

“lil guppy~! Put down the camera and help me~! Ow ow ow!” You squealed trying to pry to the angry octopuses suction cups off of you.

“My poor precious pearl! Don’t worry! I’ll help you!” He quickly took a few more pictures of your scuffle with the cephalopod and walked over to gently but firmly pull the tentacles off your face and chest.

He wrangled the fuming octopus and gently but swiftly removed the hook from it. He then he quickly dropped it back into its home in the sea.

“Oh thank god… Thank you Pesci. You’re my hero!” You sighed in relief and rubbed the sore spots the suction cups left.

. “You’re very welcome Y/N. I’m just thankful you’re okay. You weren’t in any real danger. Octopus encounters are just really uncomfortable.” Pesci looks at you and your red splotches, making a gentle giggle.

“What’s so funny??” You whined, putting hands on your hips. You were annoyed he was laughing after a moment like this but knowing how kind he was you’d give him a moment to explain himself.

“The octopus gave you a bunch of welts making it look like you have polka dots!” He laughed light-heartedly. “ you poor thing, I’ll have to give you some cream to help your irritated skin.”

“Sigh… I’m so accident prone. Maybe it was a bad idea to join you on your fishing trips.” You pouted.

“No! Not at all!” He said, giving you a big reassuring hug . “ I love having you with me! I want you to come with me all the time!…only if you want to of course.”

“I’d love too.” You smiled. “As long as I don’t catch anymore angry octopi.” You softly giggled.

What types of videos make them laugh?: he loves watching cat and dog videos of them being silly and doing goofy things! He has a wholesome sense of humor.

Any examples?: Today I groomed a new species | the weirdest cat ever. Cat barking like dog. Dog of wisdom

Prosciutto

What type of humor do they have?: instant karma

How do they laugh?: he has a deep, rich laughter. It sounds very indulgent. It starts out with a mild wheeze then a chuckle that rumbles out of his chest. He has a habit to put a hand to his forehead and shake his head before he really starts laughing. If you have a voice kink his laughter might make you start acting unwise 😳

Anything you do make them laugh?: it has nothing to do with his type of humor but you underestimate something. You were weak to heat but you thought you could handle some of Prosciuttos pasta arrabiata. You… couldn’t handle it at all.

You were having lunch with your beloved partner. You were eating Gnocchi Sorrentina and he had Pasta Arrabiata. It looked so good and smelled good too. You wanted a taste.

“Hey Prosci, let me have a bite of your pasta pretty please? It looks sooo good!” You said trying not to drool.

“Hmm?” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m more than happy to share amore, but it’s very spicy. I know you don’t do well with spicy foods… are you sure you want to try it?” He asked.

“I know I’m weak to spice but it can’t be THAT spicy. Your nose isn’t even running and you're not sweating! I can handle it!” You reassured him. “May I have just a bite please?”

He seemed a little wary but he took a forkful and guided it towards your mouth.

“Okay amore. Here you go. Open up.” He said bring the fork closer to your lips.

You opened your mouth happily inviting the food into your mouth. You chewed as you felt your senses overcome you. Perfectly al dente pasta and a delicious tomato sauce tantalizing your taste buds.

“Oh my~! Prosci it’s so goo-“an unsettling sensation overcame your mouth. You felt your nose get runny and the sweat begin to form on your skin. The heat in your mouth has made itself known. You could feel it in all your soft tissues, your throat, and even your teeth!

“So..so hot!” You panicked. You jump up from your chair and scramble to the sink to drink water directly from the tap.

Prosciutto wheezed and let a hearty laugh out of his chest.

“I told you it was going to be spicy Y/N!” He wheezed.

“I didn’t think it was going to be THAT spicy!” You gargled. “Ahh~ the pain won’t stop!”

“Drink milk amore. Fats neutralize the capsaicin.” He chucked as watched.

You slammed open the fridge and grabbed the milk and drank straight from it, not caring it was for Pesci. You’d buy him a new one. You drank the rest of the leftover milk panting hard.

“Feel better?” He asked.

“ Yeah… the pain is gone. But now I’m going to have to worry about my lactose intolerance later…” you panted. “I owe Pesci a new milk jug.”

“We’ll worry about that when we come to it.” He said kissing your forehead.

What types of videos make them laugh?: anything to do with instant karma or people getting what they deserve… he looks like he’d enjoy public freakouts/karens getting what they deserve 😂

Any examples?: nothing specific, maybe CartNarcs? He’d like watching people messing with others and then they end up failing at their pranks or they end up getting served 😅

Melone

What type of humor do they have?: “That’s what she said “/ dirty minded humor & video game humor

How do they laugh?: he starts with a giggle and has a somewhat feminine light laugh. It’s very attractive

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you get frustrated playing video games and falling at them. 😅

You were sitting in front of the tv frustrated. You KNOW if you did enough backwards long jumps in rapid succession you could get through the endless stairs and to the final fight with bowser.

“Ugh… come on! It’s soooo hard!” You moaned in frustration.

“That’s what she said.” Melone snickered as he watched you helplessly try to glitch your way up the stairs.

“Ugh shut it Mel.” You hissed.

You kept trying and trying… no success. Your hands were beginning to cramp up.

“Aaah~! My hands! They’re cramping! Finish already!” You bitched.

“That’s what she said~.” He giggled louder.

“Melone! Not right now!” You barked.

“Now now Y/N… it’s just a game ~” he waved his finger at you.

You got so close, but your hands cramped up and spasmed. You had enough and threw your controller to the side.

“WELL FUCK ME SIDEWAYS!” You screeched. “ I give up!”

“That can be arranged ~” he purred while rubbing your shoulders. “ Calm down Y/N, it’s just a game… if you want you can take frustration out on me if you know what I mean ~.” He said kissing the shell of your ear.

“Sigh. ok, fine.” You giggled. “ You always know how to put me in a better mood.”

What types of videos make them laugh?: video game glitches, bad video game hacks

Any examples?: streamers or lets-players: ex: Vargskelethor, Vinesauce, Jerma, (my top 3 personally!) or overly popular YTubers like Pewdiepie, Markiplier, etc…

Ghiaccio

What type of humor do they have?: typos/ illiteracy/ misheard words

How do they laugh?: he always tries to hold his laughs in a “Pffft” if it’s really funny he wheezes before he laughs hard holding his ribs. It’s rare but he does laugh!

Anything you do make them laugh?: when you struggle to roll your R’s and say an Italian word but in the wrong way.

“Ghia~ can you bring me the pene for the pasta salad?” You asked, chopping the vegetables.

“Pffft what did you say?” He asked holding back a chuckle.

“You know! The pene pasta! The tube shaped pasta with the tip at the ends!” You said trying to be more specific.

“I have a pene but not pene PASTA.” He wheezed. “We have PENNE pasta.”

“Uh duh! That’s what I just said! What’s gotten into you today?” You huffed grabbing the bowl of pasta out of his hands.

“Y/N… Pene and Penne are two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT things.” He chuckled while wiping a tear from his eye.

“They sound the same! You just say the N a microsecond longer. It can’t be THAT funny! So tell me what I’ve been saying!” You whined

“Cock pasta. You said you were making cock pasta. Not very appetizing if you ask me. Penne is what you want to say- that means pen. Hence the pen shape of the pasta.” He snickered.

“So that’s why all the guys were laughing at me when I was raving about pasta arrabiata with penne?! And you didn’t fucking tell me???” You screeched.

The blue haired man crumpled into a laughing mess gripping his sides. “You can’t blame me for that fuck up! It was a perfect Language barrier!”

What types of videos make them laugh?: misheard lyrics and song parodies, Bone-app-the-teeth type compilations

Any examples?: how is prangent formed? Curse of the weggy board

[vodika-vibes]

hi congrats for 500 followers!! i wanted to request the gem topaz with crosshair in winter please! where the reader is introducing crosshair to some dishes they grew up eating (a lot of different spicy foods! i love spicy food and grew up eating a ton of it lol). crosshair’s reaction to the spicy food is all up to you! i want that to be a surprise, but the reader has a suuper high spice tolerance so crosshair is surprised

Love Language

Summary: Cooking is your love language. You don’t really do it all that often, though. You’re just too busy. But for your date with Crosshair, you decide to make the time.

Pairing: TBB Crosshair x GN!Reader

Word Count: 585

Prompt: Topaz - Affectionate Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I hope you like it! For some reason, the words don't want to word today. It's frustrating. So I'm not sure if I got the right vibe here.

“I didn’t know you could cook, princess.” Crosshair notes thoughtfully as he leans against the counter next to you.

“Well,” You note as you add some additional spices to the curry you’re making, and then set the jar to the side and wipe your hands, “I don’t have a lot of free time, Cross. So generally I just eat out. But, well-”

“Well?” He prods.

You scowl at him, hoping that he doesn’t notice that you’re blushing, “Cooking is my love language, so I thought that I’d cook for you.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and you glance at him. He looks surprised, but there’s also a small, pleased, smile on his lips. So you don’t think he’ll tease you too much about it.

“Have you cooked for anyone else?”

“Not recently.” You admit with a shrug, “I mean, I cook for my parents from time to time, but they don’t travel as much now. So…it’s just you, really.” A smug grin crosses his face, and you release a huff before you elbow him, “Don’t be smug.”

“Can’t help it, princess.” He drapes an arm over your shoulder, “You love me enough to cook for me. That’s something to be smug about.” His arm tightens around you slightly, and you willingly lean into his side, “Smells spicy.”

“Mm, my homeworld is a desert, so we use a lot of spices.” You explain as  you take a careful taste of the curry and consider it for a moment. It’s not quite as spicy as you prefer, but you’re not cooking for yourself. “Here, taste.”

Crosshair shoots you a look, but takes the offered spoon for a taste. 

“Mm, it’s good.” He glances at you, “If you wanted to add more spice, though, you definitely can.” Crosshair flashes a small smile, “We can’t use a lot of spices because of Hunter.”

“Are you sure?” You ask.

“Positive.”

“Well, if you insist.” You reply, before you slide out of his grip and head over to your spice cabinet. Inside, located inside a small pouch, is some spices from your homeworld. 

You generally only cook with them when you’re cooking for yourself, but you have to admit that you want to share some part of your culture with Crosshair. You add a pinch of the spices, you only need a little after all, and soon after the kitchen is filled with the rich scents of your spices.

It reminds you of home, this was what your mother’s kitchen used to smell like all of the time when you were growing up.

You hope Crosshair likes it.

You also hope that you’ll get the chance to introduce him to your family eventually. 

His arms slide around your waist, and you squeak when he presses his face against your neck. “It smells amazing,” Crosshair says against your neck, “You’re going to tempt me into visiting your homeworld at this rate.”

You laugh softly, “Well, they do say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” 

He presses a kiss against your cheek, “Well, it’s working.”

“You haven’t even tried it yet.”

He shrugs, and releases you to grab some plates, “What can I say, I’m a simple man.”

And you grin at him, “Well, if you want to go to my homeworld, I can introduce you to my family. They’re all eager to meet ‘that charming young man of yours’.” you say with a grin.

“Charming, huh.” Crosshair says with a laugh, “I can do charming.”

[blood-orange-juice]

I want to overanalyze everything Arle says and how others interact with her. 4.1 spoilers ahead

(meanwhile Fontaine is the nation of human trafficking, actual slums exist and the law doesn't really apply to the wealthy)

She's very good at being unsettling. Half of what she says is a double-bind, she states things and the opposite of them at the same time. It's not even lies, she just rules out any possibility of truth. A conversation strategy the only goal of which is to throw people off balance. This creates a feeling that she might stab you right now in broad daylight or maybe give you a poisoned piece of cake.

A truly lovely woman.

Also an interesting parallel:

(first meeting with Furina and Arle's farewell to us)

Similar words but we understand what she meant each time, right? She's good. One has to constantly guess with her. It's your fault if you guessed incorrectly.

Demanding too much before she voices her actual request. The classics of bargaining. Again, she's good.

Traveler: "he would not fucking say that"

Personally, I think she's bullshiting to check our reaction. One of the best ways of getting information out of someone is to say a thing that is obviously untrue.

As a side note: interesting how hoyo are keeping the story suitable for all headcanons. Haters and indifferent people "know" that he had no chance of learning what food the traveler likes (their character doesn't interact with the boy that much). Shippers can "know" that we share Childe's love for spicy seafood and honey roast, not cake. Shippers who like cake can assume that she reads his letters. I also don't think he knows anything about Arle's taste in desserts, he's too self-centered for that. Anyway, lovely.

Alternative: it's a metaphor. This is obviously not a tea party, it's a battlefield. Childe would totally say *that*. But that's too subtle for most players, I doubt hoyo would do it.

Everyone who had read Tartaglia's actual letters to home stifled a laugh there. Anyone who has *seen* our dear boy really. He doesn't write about what he contemplates or feels, only about actions. Here's a headache medicine for our dear father. Please tell Anton that people in Liyue don't eat stones, it would be ridiculous. I'll take the first boat home once I've finished making a bloodbath out of this lovely city.

(a reminder in case anyone forgot)

So. Bullshiting again. Is she trying to check how close we are? Or to demonstrate that she doesn't, in fact, read his letters (even if she does)? I'm not considering the option that she's actually clueless, she's the Fatui spymaster after all.

(if she's trying to learn from us how to mimic his style to get to his family it would mean she's clueless and it would be bad writing)

Also I know that a lot of people are shouting "have you forgotten about the Vision??? stupid traveler, you have a proof that he's alive" and honestly I'm surprised. Why would we want to share *any* information with her? The traveler was visibly upset when Paimon blurted what she blurted. Also, yeah, let's tell a totalitarian country military official that her colleague recently gave one of his favorite weapons to an enemy of the state. Surely it will go swimmingly. That was intentional.

And then her farewell and her thanking us for helping the twins. Her unhingedness is suddenly gone. She might not be genuine but there's no double bind at least. She starts to say things that could be true or untrue.

Also this:

Not even a guess that the Gnosis could be used to power the Oratrice? After the Akasha terminal plot it's a pretty obvious option to anyone, would she really miss something like that?

Is she trying to push us to do something? It's hard for me to believe that she genuinely doesn't understand. But also she shares that info about a curse. Meh. I don't understand what's happening here.

[random-things-of-mine]

𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴

Lovesick Wally x GN Reader

Butcher Wally x GN Reader

Yandere Wally x GN Reader

Warning: Angst??

Based on a story written by GonIsSoSilly on Wattpad.

Their story revolves around Y/n who is stuck with the AU Wally's living in their home. I really liked the authors portray of the trio mentioned in the title.

- - - - -

Oh fuck. Not them again-

Y/n tried to manoeuvre out of sight, speed walking to their kitchen to avoid Lovesick and Yandere who descended from the stairs in the hallway, loudly bickering about who of the two deserved them more.

Those two where nothing but trouble. One was leaving a mess wherever he walked, black sludge dripping from his eyes, it occasionally moved on it own as if looking for a new host. The other one was holding a knife wielding it carelessly, not afraid to use it.

They where clearly looking for their one and only darling. 

But like... no thanks.

Y/n stood in front of their kitchen counter, they reached up towards the top shelf to reach for something. They had to stand on their tippy toes, as their fingers brushed searchingly against the plastic and ceramic cups.

Clearly someone had rearranged their stuff, probably Rainbow seeing as everything was put up so high, they couldn't even see what they where trying to grab. 

Speaking of him, his #1 dad mug was near the sink, containing a toothbrush and toothpaste. Did that man have to leave that there? There was a bathroom for a reason.

With one final movement they took a random mug, they placed it down pouring apple juice in it instead of coffee or tea which it was supposed to be used for.

"Ain't no way-" They said out loud as they looked at the mug, seeing it was merch of Actor, his face plastered onto the side. "I don't recall buying this... he probably added it himself."

What was up with these puppets, doing whatever they pleased in their home.

Too distracted with their own thoughts Y/n wasn't paying attention to their surroundings. It was too late as Butcher leaned on their shoulder.

And the dude was heavy erhm- well build is what they meant.

"Hello lamb~ Fancy seeing you here, want me to prepare you something nice and savory."

"I guess. I haven't eaten yet today."

They shrugged, trying not to whince from the pressure he was putting on their shoulder. He chuckled in his raspy voice before finally releasing them, starting to cut up a chuck of meat.

"Want me to prepare it spicy or sweet?"

"I don't care, anything works. Though..  if you could add some vegetables that would be appreciated."

Y/n couldn't help but smile a bit as Butchers expression turned sour at the mention of their request. He was not a fan of any plant like foods. 

"Meat is all you need." He said, stating it as a fact.

"As nicely as that rhymes, I know what I want and need to stay healthy." 

He begrudgingly gave in, starting to cook up the meal for his favorite lamb.

"Where are my precious?" Y/n questioned as they where looking around for Grayscale and Original. 

Those two where simply the sweetest and they where eager to cuddle with them. 

"Looking for us, darling~" Yandere said flirtatiously.

"Cause we certainly where looking for you." Lovesick crooned.

With a sigh they turned around to face the troublesome duo.

"Actually I was searching for-"

"No need, most everyone else is out today as Actor forced them to act as models for his new shoot." Yandere interrupted. "But I refused of course, seeing as I couldn't abandon you."

"Me neither! I just can't stay away from you." Lovesick joined in as his eyes where glazed over.

That would explain why it felt so empty for once in their house. 

The human made a mental note to get a look at the pictures or videos that would be taken of the modeling puppets.

"So now you can give all your attention to me."

"No me!" 

Lovesick and Yandere started bickering again, which quickly turned violent. As Y/n tried to sneak away they simultaneously grabbed a hold of one of their arms, holding it in a death grip.

"You aren't leaving." They hissed, for once in sync.

Feeling a certain level of danger and uncomfortable they tried breaking free.

"Let go of me."

"No." They simply say back, their hold ever so slighty growing tighter if that was possible.

"Butcher! Help me out!"

No sooner he appeared from the kitchen, approaching menacingly with his cleaver. And they almost regretted calling him in due to the feral look in his eyes but he was the only other one present in the house currently. 

"Don't bother lamb. And don't bruise their tender delectable skin." 

"Stay out of this you freak!" 

"We aren't hurting them... we are simply showing our loveeee~"

Y/n used the distraction to yank their body backwards, realizing this was a bit to much for them handle. Running back to their bedroom to lock themselves in.

But their running triggered something more primal in the three unstable individuals.

The desire to chase.

no no no no NO NO NO NO AAAHHH

Y/n trashed around as they where dragged down the stairs by multiple hands. The fall and rough treatment making it feel like they just broke a rib.

They now laid down on the floor, coughing and breathing heavily. As three menaces looked down upon them with wide grins.

Yandere noticed them struggle to put together their thoughts. He then decided to speak once again, picking them up from the floor, his hands staying firmly on their waist for support.

"Come on now, surely you can speak... Say want we want to hear... you know what we crave."

"I won't deny giving you three attention again."

Yandere smirked, this time he was proud and a slight bit satisfied. He was delighted to have heard them finally admit this.

"Good, let me hear the other words, that you are sticking by our and most importantly MY side."

"I won't run anymore..." They said vaguely hoping it would suffice as they glared back at him.

Yandere continued to hold them tightly, enjoying the feeling he got by just knowing that they were in his grasp.

"Say it with certainty." He commented, his tone sounded a bit cocky but also demanding.

He moved one of his hands from their waist to their face, tilting their head back, forcing their eyes to look up, directly at him. His fingers gripped their chin gently but firmly.

But before more could be said the moment was interrupted.

Lovesick waltzed over, pressing himself into Y/n, his arms clinging onto them like they where a lifeline. Yandere suppressed a growl of annoyance as he had to fight the urge to stab him.

"Yes you are all ours now. Mmh~" The disease ridden patient said as his thoughts where clouded by lovesick delirium.

"I'll get 99% of their time, you and that other freak can share the remaining 1%." The obsessive killer hissed in distain.

As they started bickering Butcher closed in looming over them all with a threatening expression.

"Ours indeed. And it'll stay that way, no matter what." The morbid butcher laughed menacingly as he pulled everyone over into a off-putting group hug.

These three would be the death of you.

- - - - -

[wolfs-archive]

"Woah, now I know why you don't drink with us!!!!" || Part 1

Part 2 || Masterlist

Summary: Y/N has a secret crush on Felix. Little did she know he too liked her. All the boys are Y/n's friend as they go to the same college and live under the same roof. The other boys did know of Felix's crush but are clueless about Y/N. Little did the blooming couple know that an anesthesia would be the one bringing them together.

Pairing: NonIdol!Felix X Female!Y/N

Genre: slightly suggestive, fluff maybe, mentions of alcohol, high Y/N

Note: Y/N is sedated, The Felix or his other roommates mentioned here are no where related to the idol Stray Kids and are just a fictional character. Minors DNI please!!!

"Initially we give less dosage of anesthesia to patients who come for the wisdom teeth removal, since Y/N's so sensitive, we had to give her higher dose. So she would be high for some time, and would come to her senses after 8 hours. Meanwhile, if she faces any issues you can tell her to take the prescribed tablets. Also she is advised not to have any spicy or hard food for a week. Only liquid food for an entire day and soft food for the rest of the week." said the Dentist. "Thank you Doctor", Han said as he helped Y/N get up and made her go out . "Y/N, I'll get the medicines and you stay here" he babied her. "Who are you? I do what I want to." Y/N retorted. "Y/n ah, I know you are a brat, but I'll let this pass once, only just because you are under sedation" a triggered Han said as he left her on the chair to get medicines. On his way to the pharmacy, he met Hyunjin. "Han ah, where is Y/N? Chan asked me to tag along in case you needed help". "Bro, I have made her sit on the chair, can you please take a look at her. She is spewing nonsense. Such a menace she is." Han replied. After the medicines were bought, Hyunjin and Han helped Y/N walk on her way to their car. Hyunjin sat in the driver's seat and a staggered Y/N went to occupy the passenger seat. Not even 5 minutes later, she was transferred to the back seat and was made to sit with Han with all the fuss she created. "Chan, we are on the way back and .... Y/N!!! stop pulling my specs" Han yelled and after a heated argument Han relied to Chan about Y/N's diet and the dentist's advise.

Y/N is usually a bubbling extroverted girl. A beautiful girl who is one year younger than I.N. A person with both beauty and brains, had a lot of people courting her, but her eyes laid only on one of her roommate, Lee Felix Yongbok. Being a bratty roommate with others and making fun of everyone with all possibilities, she has always had a soft spot for Felix and has never made fun of him. The others had never doubted this because, she had treated him like how all would treat him. But be it arriving on time for a class, or making any meal, or saving a book she had all done it ready for him. Often the members would have late night outs and parties and she being the only girl was literally treated like a younger sibling and was never allowed for any late night parties. Whenever it would be, just "Saturday Nights" at their dorm, she would always insist on having orange juice or sparkling water rather than alcohol. The members though knew it, that it was because of her lower tolerance level and that she would be difficult to handle, didn't force her. On the other hand, she didn't want to because, she knew she would pour her heart out if she drank and didn't want to miss the friendship she cherished. So, it was only when she was with he girls that she drank. That was how much she loved him.

Similar to Y/N, Felix liked her but didn't open up his heart to her for the fear of loosing her friendship. He kept it to his heart, until one day, where they had a game of truth or dare during their "Saturday Nights" and he confessed to have feelings for a particular girl. Upon closely watching his previous movements, the group concluded that it definitely was Y/N. When he asked how, each of them had their own answers for confirmation. Seungmin said, "I saw you waiting for her after class, to walk along with her to our dorm, even thoug you didn't have class that day". " One night when I went to drink water, I saw you tucking up her bedsheet " Hyunjin replied. "I saw you having her as your wallpaper on your phone" replied Changbin. He also added, "I didn't mean to peak at your phone, remember; when I had asked for your phone to text the professor. It was that time I realised it". "Not to mention, we share the same room and one day I saw you texting her, you slept with your phone. When I tried to keep the phone on the table beside, I saw a notification with Y/N's name along with a light blue heart." replied the youngest. "Don't you think I know the way steal glances of her during our combined sessions?" asked the eldest. "I knew it the moment you told me weeks ago about how you wanted pasta for dinner just because Y/N had a bad day at college. You have never done it for anyone else" said Lee Know. "Remember the one day I borrowed your book for reference? Do you not remember what you had written in it? The entire book had Y/N's name on it just like how a psychopath writes a person's name" said Han "You have been too obvious with it around us. Y/N must be either dumb or must be really clueless about it" he retorted.

Back in the car, when Han cut the call, Y/N "Bro, where is my love? I wanna meet him" she said. An astonished Han, asked who it was for which she replied that he knew him. Hyunjin in the driver's seat replied "I guess Felix is screwed!!!" Meanwhile, "You Quokka like human, where is my love? I want to meet him. Kiss him... Please bring him here." Han knew it wasn't easy and not right either to bring words out from her, so he decided, "Y/N let's play this game 10 questions. I'll ask you 10 questions and you have to answer them honestly. By the time you are done, I'll bring you your love. Deal? " he asked. "Deal" she challenged.

Even after 10 questions, he was not able to find out who it was and had arrived to their dorm. Han and Hyunjin had tricked Y/N into make her believe that they were at her "Love's" home and that she had to go in to see him. As soon as she entered, she started yelling "Lee Felix Yongbok!!!! where are you?". Hearing her voice, Felix came out to see what was going on.... "Come here!!!!" she ordered as she sat on their sofa, pointing her hands, implying him to sit near her. "What is it Y/N?" asked Felix as he sat near her. A wild Y/N, grabbed Felix's shirt by the collar, just leaving a gap of 2 inches between them. She could feel his breath pace take off and her cheeks now tinted with red. With a raspy voice, she said "Do you know how much I love you? Those freckles and the cute smile is definitely the death of me. In the future, if I get married, I want it only with you and our kids will have beautiful freckles just like you" she confessed. Everyone were too stunned to speak at the confession. Meanwhile Hyunjin, "Han, we were so clueless, the entire ride she was talking about.... was it Felix????" Han replied "Now with what she confessed, I think, no conclude that it was definitely Felix." "You know why every time you call me to have drinks I deny? It is because, if I drink, I would pour my heart out. I don't know what is in your mind and if you don't like it, I would crumble into pieces. i wouldn't be even able to face you" she said. Her hands now across his neck as she pulls him in for a deep kiss. Breaking out from the kiss, Felix says" Who said I don't like you? I've always loved you, and will love you. " as he tucked the small fringe of hair behind her ears. " Woah, now I know why you don't drink with us. It's okay." he says, as he carried her to her bedroom.

Idk if y'all want Part 2. But if you want, please feel free to ask it in the comment section.

[therapycat21]

Hi, I love your writing! I’d love a Travis one shot where he’s a guest on our podcast or we’re one of the sports interviewer after a game and we engage in a lot of flirty banter which ends up with him sliding in our dm’s!

Call Her Daddy?

Request? Yes/No! Description: Having the most famous podcasts on the internet, You have a guest who loves to flirt. Note: Thank you so much! It means the world. Here is your request! Much Love, TherapyCat21

"Hello, I'm Y/n and welcome to call her daddy, on today's episode we have three three-time Super Bowl champion and tight end for the Kansas City Chiefs, please welcome, Travis Kelce!" I smiled and looked over at the 6'5 bearded man in the lavender fluffy chair with headphones and a mic.

He smirks before bringing the mic to his mouth "Hello, hello thank you for having me" He smiles at the camera and turns back to face me. He never fails to have a smile on his face.

"So congratulations on your current win, I was grateful to be one of the fans in the stadium watching live this year and it was amazing to witness, how have you felt recently after all the chaos with winning a third Super Bowl?" I ask.

"Uhm it definitely has been chaotic since but things are kind of slowing down now, right now I'm kinda just relaxing and taking a good time off, eating a bunch of junk food before the next season" he chuckles.

I laugh "Hey, I would do the same if I did what you do, what's your favorite junk food?" I questioned "Definitely gotta be spicy nacho Doritos or the chunky chips ahoy cookies. " he smirked

"ooh, those sound good! but the real question is, what drink?" I smirk back. "how bout this, I'll give you the brand and we both try to name the same?" he suggests. I nod in agreement "Okay, I'm down." I tell him.

"Okay so the brand is Fanta" he looks at me with a lazy smirk. I squint my eyes at him before they widen. He claps his hands together in excitement "You know damn well which flavor I'm talkin about! On the count of three, we say it at the same time!" He tells me. I nod

I laugh before sighing "Okay ready?" I questioned, He nods

"1!"

"2!"

"3!"

"GRAPE!"

I jump from my seat laughing, as I settle back in my seat, he leans over and we high five "That's my girl, I knew you'd get it, great minds think alike" he says with a lovesick smile.

I smiled back "This has been awesome, thank you so much for coming on today, I definitely needed this!" I say with the most genuine smile I've had in months. He nods, clasping his hands together "No thank you, It feels good to be interviewed like this, We really have to do this again." he suggests.

I nod over at him "Absolutely, thanks to Travis for making room and coming onto Call Her Daddy today," I look at the camera "Please remember to like and subscribe and remember to check back soon to see who the next guest is next week! Bye everyone!" I wave at the camera before the signal is off.

I look at Travis "Seriously thank you so much for making time and coming on today, it means a lot " I tell him as I stand up from my seat. He stands "No thank you needed, It was refreshing, I needed this"

My social media manager comes over to us "Okay, can we get a picture of you two together to upload for this week's episode?" She questions.

We both nod and shuffle closer together and I finally see how tall he is compared to me, He places himself practically touching sides, throws his arm around my shoulder, and lays his head on the top of mine and we both smile as the picture is captured.

"thank you both so much," she says before walking to upload the picture.

We let go and hang out for a little longer before his manager tells us it's time for him to attend another event. We stand up from the seats we sat back on to talk more and hug each other goodbye.

I finally get back home and decide to take a shower and watch some TV with my cat when I get a notification, I open Instagram to see tons of notifications from the picture of me and Travis my manager posted for the new episode.

I look over to see a new message request, I click and see it's Travis, I smile before clicking the notification to see he tried sending me a message.

"I had an amazing time with you today, I was hoping we could do it again but this time at a nice restaurant at 8 this Friday? Let me know soon!"

I sit in shock before I respond

"Absolutely, here's my number so we can discuss this more (xxx-xxx-xxxx) ;)"

Twitter:

@user212121: Did y'all see how he was looking at her??!!!???

@furefchids: Their vibe is amazing, they go so well together!

@fhrhffds: Did not expect this pair but absolutely living for it!

[siphoklansan]

Introducing…. ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

backstory section: “Jun-Pa’s Lore” indented section

꧁𝐉𝐮𝐧-𝐏𝐚 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐲𝐚꧂

จันทน์ผา ฉัตรชยา ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆

“I look like someone you know, you say? It is simply just a coincidence.”

Height: 158 cm.

Birthday : 6 of August.

Age : ???????

Homeland : East of Scalding Sands (Attidaya)

Best Subject : ????

Club : ????

Talents : Black Magic, Ancient Magic, lullabies

Hobby : Weaving

Dislikes : ?????

Favorite Food : Larb Ped (spicy minced duck - ลาบเป็ด)

Least Favorite Food : None.

꧁𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐜꧂

𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐥𝐚𝗺𝐞𝐬: an ability to set an area in flames. The ability can only be activated with a powerful chant and complete focus. The maximum range is 1 square mile (640 acres). As the ability activates, ancient talismans are carved onto the ground into the desired shape that Jun-Pa needs to burn an area. When the shape is complete, the area will be set ablaze.

꧁𝐅𝐮𝐧 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐉𝐮𝐧-𝐏𝐚꧂

-“She has taken a while to figure out how to add traditional patterns to my sabai. The end product is not half bad.

-“I am satisfied with how she drew my ear rings. I shall wear them with pride.

- “The arm cuffs are supposed to represent dahlias. I quite like the symbolism behind them.”

- “My limbs? I suppose they’re one of the quirks for being…dead.”

- “You look concerned for the tattoo on my neck. I shall let you guess on a scale of one to ten how much it hurt when I got them. Have you got a number in mind? The answer is 10.”

꧁𝐀𝐛𝗼𝐮𝐭 𝐉𝐮𝐧-𝐏𝐚꧂

- Phew! Sorry for all the theatrics, Jun-Pa might’ve taken control a bit there😔🙏

- I’m very happy to announce the release of Jun-Pa, who is the mysterious OC that looks a lot like Siphok (they look like carbon copies of each other tbh)🥳💖

- I planned to make a big comic regarding Siphok’s lore, but due to the limited time I have and the lack of motivation, I might as well just make little snippets of the lore instead!

- But before we get into that, let’s talk a bit more about Jun-Pa since she wasn’t feeling like revealing too much about herself.

- Her name, Jun-Pa, is the name of a type of tropical plant called Dracaena loureiri Gagnep (scientific name). I just like how the name sounds and it feels quite homey because I see these trees all the time!✨

- Her last name, Chatchaya, means “victory”. The name is masculine in Thai, because it is actually her late adoptive father’s surname that she took when he passed.

꧁𝐉𝐮𝐧-𝐏𝐚 𝐋𝗼𝐫𝐞꧂

- When creating Jun-Pa’s story, I was actually inspired by a popular superstition in the northeast of Thailand about souls. It is said that everyone is born with a soul called “Kwan”and this little Kwan usually comes from the crown of our head.

*it is important to note that this is a superstition, and it is different for every household.

- The soul is known to be jumpy, especially if the person is still young. The younger they are, the jumpier the souls get. For example, when babies cry due to whatever reason like being startled, adults would say “ขวัญเอยขวัญมา“ which directly translates to “Oh soul, please come back”. The superstitions says that when you are scared or went through a traumatizing experience, your soul will basically get lost or fly away.

- For adults, back in the old times when Thai men go to war and they come back traumatized, it is said that their soul is lost, so a ceremony was created to bring souls back. The ceremony is simple, basically bringing the traumatized person around to places where they have good memories, and there loved ones would use a fishing net to scoop the air in that area as if to acquire the lost soul. There are more details to the ceremony, but I won’t go in too deep because I don’t wanna bore you all😭.

*it is important to note that it is not only men/soldiers that get traumatized, it could happen to anyone.

Jun-Pa’s case is similar to the superstition. She was an orphan that was severely abused in her orphanage, before a man decided to adopt her and call her his own.

Growing up, Jun-Pa was surrounding with martial arts and ancient magic. The man, who is her adoptive father, was a martial artist and a man who had a mind beyond his time. That said,d he had many great views that are considered normal today (ex: feminism, gender equality, etc.)

However, at that time, anyone who was different was frowned upon. The high elders of the section of Attidaya (where Jun-Pa and her father lived), managed to weave conspiracies on her father, accusing him of treason and practicing black magic and whatnot.

Sooner or later, her father was publicly executed right in front of her eyes, and at that moment her soul (quite literally) left her body.

At that point on, she was driven with madness and practiced many dark forbidden arts to enact her revenge. She was on the run for many years, until she publicly revealed herself to the authorities to get sentence to death like her father.

Jun-Pa’s plan was set in stone the moment she was tied to a stake. It was the moment where she revealed her unique magic. Using all her power, she managed to burn the whole section of the country alive along with her. The section is known today as “Thuli”, the place forever immortalized as ashes.

But Jun-Pa did not die peacefully. She couldn’t be reborn or go anywhere, getting stuck in limbo. In order to be reborn, she must find her lost soul.

As if luck was on her side, her soul somehow managed to find itself in Twisted Wonderland. Jun-Pa was surprised to see that her soul had taken a physical, human form; for it must’ve been reborn as a new being in another world.

The soul is, you guessed it, Siphok!

As for how Jun-Pa is going to get her soul back, we’ll have to see how the story will unfold in the future✍️✨

[hunieday]

Oogami Banri 2024 RabbiTV - Episode 2 : the fun Atami

Episode 1 - Episode 2 - Episode 3

Please note that I am not a professional translator and I'm only doing this to share the side materials to those who cannot access them, if you notice any mistakes please let me know nicely. Enjoy!

Oogami Banri: The hamburgers were absolutely delicious...!

Oogami Banri: Although I expected us to grab a bite in front of Atami’s station, I never thought we had to change trains and travel even further…!

Anesagi Kaoru: Guess that’s how much they wanted you to taste the impact of flavors in that hamburger. It was so delicious!

Okazaki Rinto: We were able to keep up with the schedule since we’re so used to running around! I was surprised by how much the sauce splattered!

Utsugi Shiro: Now I see why the guide had a note telling us to “not leave our things on the table!”

Takanashi Tsumugi: The drinking toast was fun too! Even the waiter toasted...

Okazaki Rinto: We usually toast with nutritional drinks, right!

Anesagi Kaoru: I’m glad we got to use cute glasses for it this time.

Oogami Banri: I wasn’t sure what to toast to when you asked, but we settled on “the idols who go beyond the rainbow!”

Takanashi Tsumugi: Yes...! That was the best call!

Utsugi Shiro: We only came here to have a meal but I feel like our spirits were lifted as well.

Anesagi Kaoru: That’s true! I wonder if that was part of the schedule.

Oogami Banri: I have to thank everyone who worked on this guide book…

Anesagi Kaoru: I’m sorry for enjoying my time so much even though it’s your birthday.

Oogami Banri: Don’t worry about it at all! I was really happy that everyone was considerate enough to make it a vacation for all the managers.

Okazaki Rinto: I really like traveling with everyone, so I’m also happy to hear that it’ll become a tradition...!

Utsugi Shiro: Me too. Thank you for including me in this group.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Let’s all work together to make the idol world even more exciting!

Anesagi Kaoru: Aren’t you fired up, Takanashi-san!

Takanashi Tsumugi: Ehehe...

Oogami Banri: Well now, with our spirits even higher, our next destination is...

Okazaki Rinto: Let’s see, according to the guide book... We’re going back to Atami again!

Takanashi Tsumugi: It seems like it! It says here that it’s to “soothe tired feet after a long day of traveling!” Let’s go...!

(Atami Station Front)

Okazaki Rinto: Ah, there it is! The foot bath! I can’t believe there really is one right in front of the station...!

Oogami Banri: This is my first time trying out a foot bath. I’m looking forward to it.

Takanashi Tsumugi: I brought a few towels, so feel free to use them!

Anesagi Kaoru: Huh... I brought some too.

Okazaki Rinto: So did I!

Utsugi Shiro: Me too...wait, did everyone bring extra towels for the others?

Oogami Banri: Seems… like it!?

Anesagi Kaoru: Oh no, we all did!? We’re all so used to our work habits as managers that it’s ingrained in our private lives.

Okazaki Rinto: Well, I still check the temperature and stuff even if I’m just going out by myself.

Utsugi Shiro: I get it. I tend to buy little snacks and stuff too!

Oogami Banri: I’ve developed a habit of looking for spicy and sweet food wherever I go!

Anesagi Kaoru: I’m always looking for some nice coffee shops too. Those kids like them.

Takanashi Tsumugi: I tend to look for rainbow-colored goods…

*Ping*

Takanashi Tsumugi: …Ah, a rabbitchat from Tamaki-san.

Oogami Banri: What does it say?

Takanashi Tsumugi: Umm...Ah, looks like Tamaki-san wants a photo of you enjoying yourself!

Anesagi Kaoru: Then soak our feet in the bath right away! We should get a photo of that, don’t you think?

Oogami Banri: That’s a good idea!  Okay... hopping in. Whoa, it’s warm...!

Utsugi Shiro: How about you hold your guide book? Since they handmade those for you!

Oogami Banri: Oh, good thinking! Alright, Tsumugi-san, please!

Takanashi Tsumugi: I’ll take the photo! Okay, cheese...!

*Camera Click*

Anesagi Kaoru: Now allow me to go in...Ah, it’s warmer than I imagined!

Okazaki Rinto: I’m gonna join as well. Wow, it really is...!

Utsugi Shiro: Amazing, it warms up the whole body!

Takanashi Tsumugi: The stiffness in my legs is melting away...

Anesagi Kaoru: Hehe. Takanashi-san, your face is relaxing.

Takanashi Tsumugi: Wah! Sorry, it just feels so good so...!

Anesagi Kaoru: It’s fine, don’t worry. You’re always so stressed at work. It’s important to have times like this too!

Utsugi Shiro: Well then, let’s show everyone how relaxed we are!

Oogami Banri: So you want to take a photo of all five of us?

Utsugi Shiro: Yeah! Let’s move closer to the edge so we’re not in the way...Let’s take a pic! Alright, zunda mochi!

Takanashi Tsumugi & Okazaki Rinto & Oogami Banri & Anesagi Kaoru: Zunda mochi!?

*Camera Click*

Okazaki Rinto: W-Wait a second! I was so surprised by that “zunda mochi” that my face was anything but relaxed!

Utsugi Shiro: Oh, sorry about that. Force of habit...! ŹOOĻ went to Sendai for a shoot once and they took a picture with that call, so it’s become a trend among us.

Anesagi Kaoru: I hope I didn’t look weird! For crying out loud, you should have said something first.

Utsugi Shiro: Don’t worry. You look as lovely as always!

Anesagi Kaoru: That so...wait, is that so? Then it’s fine...

Oogami Banri: As expected of you, Utsugi-san.

Utsugi Shiro: Oh, it’s nothing much.

Okazaki Rinto: Shall we get going now? Look over there! A Nakamise-dori Shopping Street! (1)

Takanashi Tsumugi: It says here we should “try tasting the square cream puffs” there...!

Anesagi Kaoru: So we’re having dessert after hamburgers. That’s the best!

Oogami Banri: Let’s go! Cream puffs!

(Nakamise Street)

Takanashi Tsumugi: Sorry to keep you waiting! I bought the cream puffs!

Utsugi Shiro: Thank you, Takanashi-san, Anesagi-san. I appreciate you getting them for us.

Anesagi Kaoru: Don’t mention it! I’m glad you guys helped find a bench for us.

Okazaki Rinto: They really are a perfect square!

Takanashi Tsumugi: That’s right! The salted caramel is for Banri-san and Okazaki-san, right?

Anesagi Kaoru: The custard is for Takanashi-san and Utsugi-san. And the matcha cream is for me!

Oogami Banri: Thank you! ...How exactly does one eat this...

Okazaki Rinto: Maybe just take a big bite... ?

Utsugi Shiro: If you don’t you’ll end up with powdered sugar all over your mouth...

Takanashi Tsumugi: But taking a big bite feels like a waste...!

Anesagi Kaoru: That’s true. It’s best to savor it.

Okazaki Rinto: I think we’re the only adults who discuss cream puffs this passionately.

Oogami Banri: Okay! Let’s go with two bites! I want to savor the cream puffs the way they mention in the guide book!

Takanashi Tsumugi: Understood! Let’s dig in...! *Chomp*

Utsugi Shiro: It’s delicious...! Ah, hehe...Guys...

Oogami Banri: Huh? Oh! Everyone’s rocking mustaches!

Anesagi Kaoru: Oh no! I don’t want a green mustache!

Okazaki Rinto: Haha! We should’ve gone with one big bite after all!

Takanashi Tsumugi: Ahaha! We’re all matching!

Oogami Banri: The colorful mustaches would look great in photos, no?

Anesagi Kaoru: Fine. Let’s take a picture!

Utsugi Shiro: I’ll brag about it to the ŹOOĻ kids!

Okazaki Rinto: I’ve always wanted a mustache, so I’m actually kind of happy!

Oogami Banri: Ahaha! Here I go!...Okay, zunda mochi~!

Takanashi Tsumugi & Okazaki Rinto & Anesagi Kaoru & Utsugi Shiro: Zunda mochi~!

(End of episode 2)

Nakamise dori:  shopping street in the precincts of a shrine

[goldenempyrean]

hihi :>> ur new prompt list is so refreshing !! can you please do “hmm… i’m keeping my eye on you”/“you’re hovering”/“no, i don’t need a tissue” for sick wanda and reader?

- 🎧

Cooking up Comfort

〚 Notes - Hey 🎧 anon! Sorry this took a while, I was on such a writing streak then I was very stupid and gave myself food poisoning (oops...) and I've just kinda been busy since, so sorry the lack of stuff :) 〛

〚 Pairing - Wanda Maximoff x Reader 〛

〚 Summary - After a long day at work, you come home to find your adorable partner, Wanda, determinedly cooking a special dinner for you but it seems someone isn't feeling as good as they're letting on. 〛

〚 Wordcount - 1080 〛

〘 Check Out My Masterlist! 〙

╚════════ ⋇⋆✦⋆⋇⋆✦⋆⋇ ════════╝

As you walked through the door of your cozy home, the warm aroma of something delicious filled the air. It was a familiar scent that immediately put a smile on your face, relaxing you instantly. After your long, exhausting day at work, Wanda’s cooking really did sound amazing. 

Upon stepping inside, you found Wanda bustling around the kitchen with an apron tied around her waist. She looked adorable like this, her hair messily worn in a bun but there was something off. Her cheeks were flushed but not in the normal heat-of-the-kitchen type of way, not to mention a hint of fatigue lingering in her eyes, yet she wore a determined smile that she couldn't hide from you as you came into the room. 

“Y/N, you’re home!” She smiled widely as she came over to hug you tight, “How was work?” She asked politely whilst kissing your cheek before turning her attention back to the sizzling pan behind her. 

“Oh, you know how it is,” You sighed, coming to sit on one of the small stools tucked into the island, “One of the new interns decided it was a good idea to have it out with the regional manager so that was mildly entertaining.” 

Wanda chuckled as she stirred the pan, “Well I’m glad your day wasn’t awful then, we mainly did recon training today, so I got home a little earlier,” She said before spinning on her heels as she held up two bottles of spices, “You in the mood for something spicy or you feeling something sweeter?” 

"I'd love something spicy," you replied, trying to keep the conversation light as you watched her move swiftly around the kitchen. However, your eyes kept drifting to the little signs that something was off. The small sniffles and the way she kept subtly rubbing her temples had you questioning if she felt just as chirpy as she acted. 

The two of you kept chatting, tell each other about your day but halfway through a sentence, Wanda paused and held up a finger to before her breath hitched and she crouched in on herself as she sneezed twice in rapid succession before rubbing at her nose and sniffling afterwards, clearly still itchy. 

"Bless you love, you feeling okay though, Wands? You look a bit under the weather." you gently inquired, trying to sound more concerned rather than pushy, “You need a tissue?” 

Wanda turned to face you, the determination in her eyes momentarily faltering before she quickly masked it with a cheerful smile. "No, I don’t need a tissue, don't you worry about me, love. I'm absolutely fine," she said, waving off your concern with a dismissive hand gesture. "I felt like preparing something special for us tonight, that's all, probably just the spices in the air getting to me or something.” 

You hummed, debating whether to push it further, “Hmm… I'm keeping my eye on you. 

"You're always keeping your eye on me.”  Wanda teased playfully, though you could make out the appreciation in her eyes as she flashed you a smile before turning back and returned to tending to the meal. 

As you watched her try and muffle a small cough into her elbow, you couldn’t help but feel torn. On one hand, you were thrilled that she was going out of her way to make a nice dinner for the two of you, with your busy lives, it wasn’t something you got to do often. But on the other hand, you couldn’t help but wish she’d give in and actually tell you how she was feeling. 

As you continued to mull things over the smell of the food intensified, and your stomach growled in response. Wanda looked over at you, a mix of pride and exhaustion in her gaze. "Almost ready," she said, her voice a touch weaker than before. 

"Why don't you go sit down, and I'll bring everything to the table?" you suggested, wanting to give her a chance to rest. Wanda bit her lip as she hesitated but eventually nodded, giving in to your offer. 

When the meal was finally served, Wanda's eyes sparkled with delight as she watched you take your first bite. "Is it good?" she asked eagerly. 

You couldn't lie; the flavours were incredible; she really was an amazing cook. “It’s amazing love, it tastes so good.” You smiled as you took another bite, “You did such a great job, thank you.” It was hard to miss the excited glow that appeared on her face at your words of paise. 

You both finished your meal, savouring each bite of the delicious dish before you. Your conversation flowed easily as you chatted about your day, plans for the weekend, and shared stories that made each other laugh but like earlier, Wanda had paused suddenly and quickly brought a napkin to her face, sneezing into it quietly. 

Picking up your empty plates, you began to clear the table, putting the dishes in the sink before coming behind the chair she was sat on, in response she leaned back and looked up at you through glassy green eyes.  

“You’re hovering.” She whispered, earning herself a small laugh as you leant down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. One that lasted a little too long at the creeping heat that met your cool lips. 

“And you’re too warm.” 

Wanda chuckled softly, her cheeks turning slightly pink as she leaned into your touch. "I guess I can't hide it from you, huh?" she admitted, her voice tinged with a hint of exhaustion. 

"Nope. We’ll have to go and get you all cosy and comfortable." you said gently, running your fingers through her hair. "But for next time, just tell me, okay? I care about you about love, and I’d like to know if you’re not feeling a 100%." 

She sighed, leaning her head against your shoulder. "I know, but I just wanted tonight to be special for us. I didn't want my little cold to ruin it." 

"You being here with me makes it special already," you replied, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. "But I don't want you to overexert yourself. You made such a lovely dinner for me, didn’t you? Why don’t you let me return the favour and look after you.” 

As Wanda leaned into your touch, she nodded softly, appreciating your concern and care. "Okay, you win," she chuckled weakly, "I'll let you take care of me." 

〖 Join My Taglist! 〗@sayah13 @scrambled-brain-eggs @natashamyl0ve @bloomingflowersthings @kathleenmikaelson @shamelessbearunknown @inluvwithfictionalwomen @citrussnz @fluffyblanketgecko @kljhsong @santana1437 @lovelyy-moonlight @juiles @lots-of-pockets @sashawalker2 @natashamaximoff69 @observeowl @danveration @idkeithershawty @poison-blackheart @loveshineslikethesky @somber-sapphic @lexasaurs634 

[devil-doll13]

Some Brahms Heelshire headcanons that have been little worms rotting my brain for a while. I want to understand him better <3

Many of these are x reader bc I couldn’t help myself

Starting with some ‘common knowledge’ stuff I generally agree on: yes, he is a sweaty boy. I actually think he has more anxiety than you might initially think he has, and this nervousness sort of goes towards causing it.

I touched on this in my Brahms fic months ago but this man really needs a routine in his life. He needs consistency and structure, and doesn’t react well to sudden change. He needs to approve of every nanny that is offered to him, they can’t just be introduced without his say-so. Nor can any of his rules be broken or altered, or ever strayed from. He’s very particular about certain things and what he likes and dislikes. Put it this way: if he isn’t pleased with something, you will know one way or the other.

His diet is very predictable and simple - some might even say bland - and this is also along the same line as this need for routine. Side note, but I think if you gave him spicy food he’d probably die or something… He’s English after all kwkdflf

Being confined inside the walls of the Heelshire estate most of the time has led to him developing a touch of Agoraphobia. He’s also definitely an indoors person, while I believe he may be able to appreciate the beauty of nature, mostly something like a well-tended garden, he’d prefer to remain at a distance. If he had to choose, he enjoys admiring english roses the most. He wouldn’t protest much if you decided to bring in a few to put in a vase.

Also, the vast amounts of time Brahms has on his hands (when not spent watching his nanny or parents, when they were still alive) goes towards cultivating his many hobbies; and he has many different interests. He may not have been part of any public schooling system, but that doesn’t really mean anything, he absorbs information eagerly regardless. He’s an avid reader and probably knows the Heelshire mansion’s library inside and out at this point, with both fiction and non-fiction (although you just know he was raised on a diet of pre-approved classics) catching his interest. Some of these beloved favourites are quite weathered and worn-out now. You know the kind I’m talking about, hanging practically by a thread from the spine…

Brahms is also a big music guy. His parents probably were as well. I mean, I personally believe they named him after the composer. We see in the movie that the music needs to be played loud, probably so he can hear reverberating all through the house (although tbh the way the house is, it doesn’t take that much. He still just wants it LOUD). Given that we can see a violin in his room, as well as sheet music, I think he can play both it and the piano. It would’ve been difficult for him to stop enjoying this, since he had to pretend he didn’t exist when a nanny/Greta was there.

Before the fire, his parents (particularly his mother) saw his upstart skill with music as the potential to become the next great composer, and pushed him towards improving it. Even if these expectations caused some stress for him back then, Brahms still loves playing dearly now.

He also sees this as an opportunity to impress upon you that he’s incredibly suave and attractive and cultured™️ so that you’ll stay. In his mind, if he comes across as interesting enough, he’ll have a better chance of wooing you into permanent residence in his house. That grocery boy is his sworn enemy in part because, deep down, he‘s self-aware enough to know that there are many difficulties to being with a man like him. Brahms is a complex mixture of quite spoiled and entitled vs insecurity, and he doesn’t enjoy confronting these thoughts either.

Oh, as for how he’d react to new music that isn’t classical, I don’t think it would entirely be a hatred for something new. While there may be a period of ‘what is this s/o this is not on the schedule?’ Brahms is a curious boy at heart, a man who was sequestered from the rest of the world and had much of his knowledge intake restricted, particularly by his mother. It will not be an immediate appreciation from him, but I think that this curiosity - and his desire to get to know you better - will win over in the end.

While I know it’s popular consensus that he’s a horny boy and very clingy and touch starved, (which I agree with to some degree), I also think one thing he’s been missing his entire life is good, intelligent conversation. His parents tended to talk at him rather than to him, and, well… It’s left him quite isolated and lonely, only able to imagine making a human connection through novels and daydreams. Brahms is one of the few slashers who does speak and I think he can speak quite well and eloquently. This might surprise you if you’ve gotten used to the doll persona, but Brahms the man is so real, so raw, and he’s formed an unbreakable bond with you before you’ve even realised he exists. He craves a genuine connection with you that goes beyond just lust, and I honestly believe he can be gentle. We see how tenderly he treats the Greta doll for instance, how it seems to be well looked after and given lots of space on his bed. A real person isn’t the same as a body-pillow, but… I don’t think he’d be as terrible a lover as people think.

He absolutely has major attachment issues and separation anxiety though. It only gets worse after Greta, after his parents… And yeah, he is clingy as fuck. Brahms can get addicted to actual, physical human touch very quickly. For far too long, he’s been substituting with pillows and dolls; but he’s had quite enough of dolls, now. I can honestly see him developing some resentment towards the thing, because although it has been his ‘persona’ for many years, it isn’t really him. Basically, once he’s revealed himself, Brahms could care less what happens to it… It might be therapeutic for him to even smash it himself, yeah? It’s a tantrum he needs to throw.

Anyway on a lighter note, it gets very draughty in the Heelshire mansion - it’s old, after all. He’s a hound for cuddles all the time, but especially during the winter months because he’s desperate for some heat and human connection. He enjoys lying on top of you like some kind of weighted blanket, and also likes it when you do the same to him. Curl up on his fuzzy chest and pour over a book together, it’s practically mandatory at this point <3

I can’t see him wanting children with you at all, sorry. He’s way too selfish honestly lol. He hogs your affection and love day and night and he’s pretty shameless about it. Besides, he’s just not father material to be entirely honest. he’s your baby why do you want another one

Also any pets you have are on on thin ice… He wouldn’t hurt them (I wouldn’t like to believe so anyway) but he’s always jealous and sulky if he thinks you’re spending more time with them than him, even if it’s like. Five more minutes yes he has a record, probably a calendar or something. He tends to plop his curly head on your lap and demand you stroke it and lavish your attention on him until he’s satisfied. Which will probably be never tbh.