#possibly funniest thing that’s happened to me on a date

[shittysawtraps]

guys help i was on a date with a guy i’ve been going out with for a couple months and we were talking about saw since we’re both horror fans. and he mentioned that he and his friends have a bit where they make up their own jigsaw monologues. so i said “oh i have a blog that does something similar” and he asked me what the name was, and he looked this blog up. and then he yelled, “THIS IS YOU? OH MY GOD. THIS IS WHY WE DO THAT BIT! I LOVE THIS BLOG. I’M SO INTO YOU. OH MY GOD. THIS IS YOU?” right in the middle of the mall food court. i know this sounds like a fake tumblr story but this really fucking happened to me today. holy fucking shit.

[narcjsistx]

hii can you do a hc where reader and toman!draken are dating and how draken acted in the crushing stage?

HI! thanks for the request, hope you have a good day ❤️‍🩹

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

— Draken in a relationship HCS ᡣ𐭩

When he realized that his friendship with you was becoming much more intimate, he wondered if it was really love or just one of those fleeting crushes that you have during adolescence but disappear after a short time. Only after realizing that months and months had passed and he still felt this way, indeed, he was even more affectionate, did he understand that perhaps it really was love

When he realized that it wasn't just a crush he simply told Mikey, even though he knew that his best friend would hardly make fun of him. When he said that, Mikey continued to laugh like he'd heard the funniest thing in the world, but later admitted that he just figured it out and wanted to see how long it would take for Draken to realize it wasn't just a crush

Tell you he likes you? ABSOLUTELY NOT. He knows how to treat a girl, yes, but the mere fact of talking about such a delicate topic with you stops him, so yes, if you don't take the first step, he will hardly take the first step

Once put together, prepare to be one of the most protected people in the world. Come on, he is the vice president of one of the biggest gangs in Kantou, all his friends are respected and have no problem starting a fight... so yes, you will hardly have problems with other people if they know who you are with

Jealousy isn't exactly a part of his character. He may rarely be, but he trusts you too much to even think there might be a problem

You only found out about his family situation some time after you met him, even before you got together. By mistake Mitsuya revealed it to you and Draken was right nearby, but he was surprised when he saw you absolutely normal with his situation, not joking about it like it had happened in the past with other people. Maybe this also made him understand that he was in love

Accustomed to Mikey since they met, he has no problem with being childish, in fact he probably even finds it cute. No, certainly starting to cry because he didn't buy you something is not what he means by 'cute', but maybe seeing you passionately talking even just about a stuffed animal you saw in a shop window yes, he finds that cute

It happened that during one of your outings, people looked at you a little badly because you were going out with someone who doesn't have a 'normal' appearance, let's remember that he's a delinquent anyway... well, this thing made you quite a littel sad. Draken noticed it and simply proposed to increase the dates where you went on a motorbike together, he knows you like them and there people don't have the possibility to judge you because you go too fast to be looked at properly

As a joke, one day you braided yourself a braid similar to his. He teased you by telling you that there is only one Draken, but inside he was dying to hug you because he found it extremely cute. But hey, he's got a tough reputation that he needs to live up to

He gives me too many "put whatever you want, I can fight" guy vibes. Come on, for him the looks of others who stare at you in amazement are priceless

[misty--nights]

So I'm watching the show yet again (usually I struggle watching shows, I don't know how I've managed to watch it twice already and still want to watch it a third time), and here are some things that I've noticed in episode 1, after the read more because it got longer than expected.

Charles calls himself the brawn and the protector of the two, but it's Edwin who goes all serious and says "I would not let that happen" when Charles asks what they'd do if Death came for them. I'm sure/concerned that he'd try to fight her if she ever came to take them...

Edwin knits!! When they are wearing their disgusses to get the demon out of Crystal he knitts while Charles reads the newspaper. Granted, you can only see him doing for a short moment, so I don't know if he's doing it properly, but I like to think he is. I have many thoughts about this, but it would take over the whole post. I'm still willing to make a whole post for it if anyone is interested but yeah. Bottom line is, Edwin can knitt!

The tone of voice that Crystal uses when she first wakes up in the Agency and in her walk with Charles is really different to the tone she uses the rest of the season. In hindsight, it's pretty obvious that is her mean girl tone, but still, I just think it's a nice detail.

Edwin takes Crystal's coffee cup when she takes the mail? We've just stablished he's not going to drink it, so is he just being petty? Is he going to throw it away or hide it just to be a nuisance? Is he investigating what she got? This boy, I swear...

I know people have pointed out all the Clue boards in the closet, but there's also a ouija board there? Hilarious. Maybe some ghosts prefer communicating with that instead of speaking? Or Charles got it because he thought it was funny and then never got rid of it?

I like that the thing that convinces Edwin to take the Becky Aspen case is Charles asking if he's going to let a little girl die. But more importantly, the title card right after that says "three flights". I've had this question for a bit, but what do they do during those flights? Do the boys spend those just standing in the hallway next to Crystal's seat? Do they sit in the cockpit? Do they hide in the bathroom until someone comes to use it? Do they hope for empty seats they can use? I don't know, every possible version of their trip is so funny to me. I know ghosts don't get tired like alive people, but the idea of them just standing awkwardly off to the side for more than 10 hours is hilarious.

No big detail here, I just love Crystal's purple coat thing she wears in this episode. Never really noticed that it has like flowers embroidered at the bottom, and the color of the whole thing is so nice.

"Maybe he's our fucking demon now." Crystal I love you, that is one of the funniest lines in the episode. I also really like that she gets to be angry and scared. Even if later Jenny talks her down from the worst it, it's not her anger that she points out, it's the fact that people are just like that and how the boys act is nothing personal. Her anger is not directly attacked (except by Edwin, but that's just him being petty), because she gets to be angry about all that's happening to her.

The flashback to Edwin's life at St. Hilarion's changes the video aspect (is that the proper term for that? It makes the screen square like in older films is what I mean.) Also he card for that flasback specifies "Edwardian England" even while having the date at the bottom. I don't know, it made me chuckle that they felt the need to clarify the era even while having the date there. They don't put "modern day England" for Crystal's flashback.

With the way the cat reacted to the sardine, I'm willing to bet he would have told Edwin everything without the binding spell if Edwin had a few more fish for him.

When they're talking behind the shop and Crystal says she gets angry, Charles looks down and takes a bit to respond. I think this is the first time he relates to her. The first time he can call that pull twards her something more than mere attraction. He has this very vulnerable look when she says it and then immediately shows her his parents and tells her something he's never told anyone before? This boy saw his anger in someone else and thought maybe it's fine for him to be angry too.

Is it a trick of the light in the scene where she meets Niko, or does Crystal have a septum piercing?

"If you're sticking around, you gotta let us in." Charles, I love you, but you are the last person who should be saying this. Specially after that sad look he gets when Crystal says it must be hard not being able to talk or hug his parents. You just agreed to what she said, as if that were the truth of why you check on them, what do you mean "you gotta let us in"? (I do get that they haven't known each other for long so he's not going to open up about all his trauma, but precisely because of that, it's wild for him to expect her to do it.)

I never noticed Charles quickly returning the mirror to normal when Edwin comes. I'd noticed the audio cue for the mirror changing back, but I never noticed Charles moving to do it and he looks so panicked about it.

Considering how Edwin is about touch, the fact that he lets Crystal take his hand when she tells the that the case matters is huge.

Why are they planning down at the shop when they have Crystal's room all to themselves? Besides the ambiance, of course. I think Jenny's reaction is completely justified.

Esther leaves her turntable on when she goes to the post office. Is it for Monty? The atmosphere? Did she just forget?

Not a new discovery, just a reminder of something I really like. There's this very specific editing thing (like the quick cuts between the instruments and then the opened lock, I don't know what to call it) that they do pretty much every time Charles picks a lock / opens a door, and it makes me very happy each time. The sound they use for it is perfection.

Edwin's attention to detail is insane. The fact that he can recall one cupboard is further forward than it was in the plans is really impressive.

Charles sounds so done when he throws the magic backpack. "Put her in the bag-of-tricks backpack." Man, I can hear the eye roll in that sentence. Good to know Edwin isn't the only bitchy one in this relationship.

And that's it for episode 1. I think I might do this for the others as well as I watch them. It was really fun to do, and it forces me to pay attention to the details, so I think it's worthwhile.

[ckret2]

What your thoughts on other bill ships? Like Kryptos/Bill or Stanley/Bill. I love your Wasting Away Again in the Goldilocks Zone fic on ao3 and this is my first time using Tubmlr, so I’m not sure how it works here, so sorry if I sent this wrong place 💔

u found the right place

I don't ship him with any of the Henchmaniacs (except for saying an eye-bat is his ex because it's the funniest possible option), but I think he's hooked up with half of them. I'd say "casually hooked up" but I don't think there's anything casual about it, the Henchmaniacs are fueled by petty drama and rancid vibes.

I acknowledge Kryptos is easy for ships because he looks like he could conceivably be the same species as Bill and we know so little about him you could give him almost any personality, but i'm not interested in it myself. Especially since it feels like a lot of what I've seen with Kryptos/Bill goes for "Kryptos is the one nice guy in the gang and Bill is tsundere for him" and that doesn't do anything for me.

I occasionally contemplate "wouldn't it be fucked up if Bill hooked up with Stan so he could pretend he's with Ford and Stan knew but still went with it for some reason (idk why, maybe Stan's super lonely, maybe Bill's currently wearing a smoking hot human body, the point is we want DRAMA so any excuse will work)" but outside that, nah. I think Stan and Bill would be VERY fun partners in crime and they're GREAT to bounce off each other, but I prefer them platonically, I don't feel a romantic or sexual spark between them.

You wanna know what Bill ships I'm fascinated with?

Bill/Trembley. it's GOTTA be one sided though, Bill's gotta be head over heels for this weirdo like a teenage girl for her first celebrity crush while Trembley never even notices

Bill/the howling void he totally lied about not dating in TBOB. Here I am 15,000 words deep into writing their entire relationship start to finish... I was literally already writing about Bill dating a black hole, who happens to howl, prior to TBOB; so the book just took my OC and made her canon??? yeah sure fine I'll take it, damn.

Bill-possessing-Silas/the 100-something wives he stole from his cultists according to thisisnotawebsitedotcom. weeks after that reveal this is still the funniest & most fascinating thing to me simply because Bill had ABSOLUTELY NO REASON to do that, truly enthralled by his potential motives, I cannot believe this triangle is married

Bill/the shaman. I just think something was going on there. I can feel it. The shaman taught him a bit of magic, how often do you think that happens to Mr. Trillion-Year-Old All-Seeing Eye? Probably not much!

[brucewaynehater101]

All of this is just so. Chefs kiss. I do have another layer of angst and a layer of comedy. After all, the angst stops hitting as hard if you don't have something light hearted to compare it to. After all, how can you know what darkness is if you have never seen light?

I said at the start that Tim gives discounts for secrets. He always seems to be able to tell when people lie and those that do tell him lies well. Bad things happen to them. Nothing can be directly traced back to Jane Doe, but everyone knows. Of course this does lead to some rouges and GCPD pigs trying to intimidate Jane into telling them what she knows. Everytime, Jane offers to play a game with them. 5 rounds, whoever does the rounds gets to ask the questions and no one else but others can listen. Should the challenger win a round, they get to ask one question and Jane promises to answer truthfully. If they win two, he will answer two and so on. They only get a 30 second break between each round and the Playlist is set to shuffle.

Tim lays out these rules and once the person agrees, thinking it's either a fight or sex, only then does Tim reveal they will be playing Dance Dance Revolution that Tim "upgraded" so it has the four diagonal pads too instead of the usual just 4 pads. He sets it to max difficulty for Rouges, second highest for everyone else. The most anyone has ever gotten is when Harley managed to ask Jane to questions.

Of course there are rules about the questions, like you can't ask Jane for any of their own personal details, and if Jane doesn't know the answer to a question you get one do over question. Joker has never threatened to hurt Jane over the way they sell secrets back with DDR because he thinks it's the funniest possible way to humiliate people who demand answers. Sometimes he has his henchmen challenge Jane knowing they'll lose just to laugh at them as they fail.

But on the flip side. Do you think any of the Rouges, before they knew Jane was Robin ever hired Jane? Tim would *hate* it but... those he goes on dates with are often very loose lipped about things and one time he got paid to just hang off a drug dealer's arm all night and look pretty while the guy drank. The guy was a *very* talkative drunk and after he passed out Tim was able to look through his shit with the potential excuse of "im just looking for the bathroom sweetheart~" of course none of the Rouges would ever hire Jane if they knew how old he was but Tim doesn't advertise that. Especially if he's been on the street for a few years at that point and has a reputation. He has to be at least 20, right? Right? Plus the mask and the fact it has a filter to obscure his voice he's just... there was no way for them to know, right? They can justify it to themselves all they want but if a Rouge did, they would definitely feel Really Gross.

Yeah! You've got to have some light-hearted or happy moments to really drive in that angst.

For Jane's age, it definitely depends on the Rogue and their characterization. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Black Mask was a bit creepy to Steph when he was torturing here. So, whether or not they would feel gross/horrified depends on who it was.

I can see how they wouldn't have known (especially if Jane refused to answer questions about themself including age).

As far as the Dance Dance Revolution? That's a brilliant idea. I wonder if he's ever practiced that with YJ or Dick. I could definitely see then doing that. It would be a cute bonding activity (until they learn he used it as a form of protection).

[actual-changeling]

my brain's kinda dead after therapy today but has anyone ever thought about when aziraphale started writing diaries?

in 1827 he says he is on volume 603. now, we COULD simply assume that he uses one diary per year, which would put our starting date in 1224. however, there's two things that bother me about that line of thinking. it is a very late time to start writing diaries considering that paper and writing have been around almost as long as he has plus over six hundred volumes - that's some fucking dedication right there. he LOVES books and thus probably loves preserving stories in general, so the second he heard of diaries being thing he started keeping one. or maybe he even invented them.

on top of that, crowley and aziraphale do not perceive time like we do, and after almost six thousand years memorable events have probably become a bit rarer.

which leads us back to the question of when he started documenting those events.

we have to entirely guesstimate this but let's say the average diary he uses has 200 pages (notebooks have a big variety of page numbers and this one's easy to work with) and he writes a minimum of one entry a month across 4 single pages. we see him NOT use the backside of a page and his handwriting is quite large.

but he probably doesn't always have an entire story to tell and we do have one other entry that really isn't very long (which can be found in the bonus section of episode 3).

so if we go with 4 pages per entry on average we'd have 50 entries per diary. divided by 12 makes around 4 years contained within one volume.

4 x 603 = 2412

1827 - 2412 = - 585

585 AD is pretty damn early and doesn't really ring a bell and that's when we use some very generous numbers and assume he writes a lot.

but.

what happens when we loosen up a little?

let's say he doesn't write 12 entries per year and that the average is less than 4 pages of writing - let's give him some more time to fill 603 volumes which. again. is quite a fucking lot and there is the very real question of where he keeps them and if crowley has seen them.

anyway. more time. paper around 3000 BC but also heaven and hell don't stick to human developments and crowley had paper in heaven.

have you guessed where i'm going with this yet?

tell me beloved tumblr bestie, do you remember the first time we get to see writing on paper that isn't celestial sketches on celestial paper?

if your answer is "job in 2500" then congrats, you won!

the conclusion to this rambling is that there's a good chance aziraphale started keeping a diary after the entire job incident. when he was exposed to earthly pleasure. when he had to start keeping track of what happened and what crowley did vs. what he SAID he did. when having a record like the god/satan contract became important.

however i want you to consider the funniest possible answer to the question "why did aziraphale start writing diaries" - he and crowley fucked and had incredibly mind blowing sex in that cellar and when aziraphale realised he had no one to talk to about it he sat down and invented diaries.

[supercorpkid]

Yours Truly, Pink Kryptonite

Supergirl. Kara Danvers x Reader!, Alex Danvers, Lena Luthor

Word Count: 3003.

"As you can see here, we'll start this presentation with an overview of the current business –" You look out the window to see Supergirl staring at you and waving excitedly. "landscape, and, um, the importance of embracing innovation." 

You look around, making sure no one is paying attention to the Kryptonian calling out for you from the other side of the window. What the hell could she possibly want right in the middle of your most important work presentation ever?

You obviously know Kara does a lot of things, but working 9 to 5 isn't one of them. She runs off from CatCo whenever she wants or has an emergency.

Emergency! God, there must be an emergency!

Your mouth dries, and your eyes widen. "Or, you know, everyone knows this." You look at your boss, furrowing his brows at you. "We know our company and where we stand. So instead of wasting our time with the introduction, why don't we just skip to –" You press the control skipping through basically half of your presentation. "the expansion to new markets. And who better to talk about that than my team! I'll leave it to you guys, and will answer to this very important call from our program developer. We know he hates to wait. I'm sorry. I have to –" 

You slip out of the conference room, heart on your throat, completely unaware of what you just said in there.

Supergirl meets you at the balcony of your office with a wide smile. "Kara!" You close the door behind you, looking around you to make sure no one is paying attention or seeing the both of you through glassy walls. "What's the emergency?"

Kara tilts her head to the sides, like a confused puppy. "Emergency?"

You touch her arms, looking for something that could explain why she is here in the middle of the day. "Yes! I mean, isn't there an emergency?"

"Not that I'm aware of." She smiles widely.

It's your turn to master your most confused face. "Then why are you here?"

"Oh!" Kara lets go of your arm, and puts a lock of your hair behind your ear. "I came to ask you out."

"What?"

"On a date! Tonight!" You're still looking at her like you haven't got the faintest idea of what's going on. "Maybe lunch?" She tries to get a different reaction. "Now?"

You look around. This must be a prank. Is someone filming this? Is today April Fools? Surely not. 

"You're not saying no." Her smile brightens up, like this is the most amazing thing that's ever happened. "So that means I can fly the hottest woman out of here right now?"

"What?" You repeat, yet again, baffled by everything that is happening. "You can't. I — I'm working."

"And you sounded so smart in that board meeting, baby." 

"Baby?" You whisper to yourself, more confused now than before. If that's even possible.

"But work is boring," Kara strokes your cheek lightly. "and you're honestly so pretty that I'm sure you'd never have to work if you wanted. Oh! You know what, we should do that!"

"Never work again?" You ask and she agrees enthusiastically. "It's not like you do anyways." You try a little joke and Kara laughs like you just said the funniest thing in the universe.

She composes herself, after a loud snort. "Ok. So you're smart, and pretty, and hot and funny. Golly, how did I get so lucky to get you to go on a date with little old me?"

You open your mouth a couple of times, but keep your comments to yourself. She is literally Supergirl; You never said yes to any date; and WHAT THE HELL! Are some of the things you refrain from saying.

"Kara, I have to go back to work. This presentation is really important." You point to the door and she agrees, once again, vividly with her head. 

"Ok, ok. But lunch?"

"I can't. I have a meeting with the developer." She pouts like a child, and you can't say no to her. Not when she looks so adorable. You breathe deep. "Dinner."

Kara bites her lower lip, holding back a huge smile. "Dinner is perfect. I'll organize everything, and you just have to go and be pretty, which is basically what you do all day anyways."

You furrow your brows one more time and agree with a nod. You make your way to the door, and make a mental note to call Alex and ask her what the hell! 

"Hey baby," You look over your shoulders and back at her one more time. "Your butt looks awesome in this outfit." 

"Thanks?" While your face burns red in embarrassment. 

You spend the rest of the day trying to concentrate on your work, but you can't really because you need to understand what happened between you and Kara this morning.

Sure, you two are used to a little bit of flirting. Subtle and awfully vague. Just little jokes that usually makes Kara completely uncomfortable, and makes her blush in no time. And now, just out of fucking nowhere, she is calling you baby and asking you out on dates?

You: hey! Kara's a bit off today. Something happened? Alex 🌈: oh, yeah. Pink Kryptonite. Why? You: great! One more! What does this one do? Alex 🌈: not sure. Just discovered it. Send me a list of symptoms.

A list of symptoms. Ok. You can do this. 1. She looked extremely happy. But that's not a symptom. 2. She had the courage to ask you out. Could that be a symptom? No. Surely not. Asking people out is not a symptom of being exposed to kryptonite. 3. She called you baby. Yeah, you don't have a list.

You: IDK, just weird. We'll meet up later and I'll try to investigate further. Alex 🌈: great! Will do the same from here.

Not good enough. You look down on your phone one more time. Change conversations.

You: hey! did you happen to see Kara today? Lena the witch: Yeah… You: everything alright? Lena the witch: If by alright you mean weird, then sure.  You: weird how? Lena the witch: She spent the entire duration of our lunch saying you butt looked great today. You: got it ✨super weird✨. Lena the witch: What's up with that? You: unsure. will let you know as soon as I figure it out.

You get ready for your date. It feels weird thinking about it. You've been kinda flirting kinda joking with Kara for a long while. You never thought this was going anywhere. It's not like you didn't want it to happen, but Kara Danvers is not gay. Which is unfortunate for you.

Except today she was the gayest of the gays. Queen of the lesbians. So you can't help but look in the mirror one more time, before saying out loud this time, "What the hell!"

Of course you like the idea of you and Kara going on a date, but it feels hard to enjoy this when it is so sudden and out of the blue. Just yesterday when you were leaving the Tower late at night and said goodbye with a simple, 'see you later handsome', Kara blushed so hard, she lost all her words and stumbled on her own two feet on the way out the elevator. How was she so smooth this morning?

You open the door, after the doorbell rings once. Kara is on the other side, the brightest smile on her face and flowers on her hands. "Hey baby."

You blush furiously. Can't keep your body in check, no matter how much you want to not enjoy this moment before you find out exactly what's going on with Kara.

"You look incredible. You always look incredible." She makes sure, a thumb sliding on your cheek delicately. And it's only the second time she's done this, and you're already addicted to it. "Oh, I brought your favorite flowers."

You look at it, bite your lower lip and hold your breath. She looks beautiful. Like an angel in front of you. Blonde waves cascading down her shoulders, blue eyes as bright as the day sky, smile as wide and white as possible, and she is here holding your favorite flowers. How the hell are you going to resist her?

"Thanks, baby.” God, no! What are you doing? No flirting! 

You turn around, putting the flowers on a vase, and trying to keep your hands and yourself busy so you don't jump on her and kiss her senseless. "Hey, what does Pink Kryptonite do?"

"Um, Pink Kryptonite?" Kara plays coy and you don't even have to look behind yourself to know she is smoothing her hand over her vest, right after touching her glasses. "Where did you see that?"

"Well, baby," You turn around to face her. "it seems that you've been exposed to it." Kara's mouth drops, not knowing what to say. You close the distance. "And believe me, I'm loving what's happening here, but I need to know if this is you or the kryptonite talking. So, what does it do?"

"It turns Kryptonians alittlegay." She mumbles under her breath, and it is only with much effort from your part that you understand it.

Your face drops. "Right." 

It's not like you're shocked about her revelation, she was acting like the lesbian jesus right after being exposed to a hot new type of kryptonite (why so many?). You breathe out, looking at the flowers and trying to ignore your selfish heart and desire to just go along with it.

"You should go."

"What?" Kara's eyes get full of tears. "But, the dinner."

"You're not in love with a woman, Kara. The effects of the kryptonite will fade and you'll regret this whole thing. So before we do something that can ruin our friendship, you should go." 

A tear falls from her eye, and she bites her lower lip to keep herself from crying out loud. Your heart is squeezing in your chest and you're having to summon all of your strength to keep going with this and not just simply kiss her better. 

"But that's not it." She tries, sounding small and in pain.

"Kara, it's ok." It's your turn to stroke her cheek lovingly and carefully, wiping the single tear away. "It was fun, but it isn't you. And for this to happen, I need to be you. Ok?" You're explaining yourself with caution, almost as if you're talking to a child. She agrees with her head, slowly, looking small in her tall body. "Don't worry. It will wear off soon, and you'll be yourself again. And you’ll be glad this didn’t happen." You kiss her cheek and give her a wistful smile.

Kara makes her way out of your apartment, crestfallen and so disheartened you almost feel bad. You take a deep breath. She'll be fine. She'll thank you for this when she wakes up free of the Pink Kryptonite.

Gee, a kryptonite that turns them gay. What the hell was going on in Krypton? But also, you wish you were there. The parties must have been wild.

You turn around in your bed, the flowers that Kara brought keep haunting you, because you decided to put them right next to your bed. You sit up, rubbing your face awake. Why the hell did you kick Kara out the door? It could've happened! It could finally have happened! Why didn't you take advantage of it?

Oh yeah. Yours truly, Pink Kryptonite. Ugh. She didn't really want you, she was just gay for a day. You roll your eyes to yourself. Now you'll just have to live with the awkwardness and the desire while you're around her. Great.

You hear a light tap on the glass and you let out a shit-scare scream, only to see Supergirl flying on the other side of your window. You hear a soft, "sorry." when she realizes how shaken you got.

You open the window to find a glowing Supergirl, and it doesn't take much deducing to understand she's been under the yellow sun bed for a while.

"I flew as close as I could to the sun." She explains, still on the other side, but it's quick to make her way inside. "The yellow sun emulators are alright, but there's nothing better than the real thing."

"Yeah." It's all you can say.

"I wanted to get rid of the Pink Kryptonite as fast as possible." Kara explains it further, and finally puts her glass back so she can change back into her normal clothes. "I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I heard you were still up. I wanted to apologize."

"Whoa, I knew you'd regret it, but God that was fast. Must be some kind of new record for me." You sit back on your bed with a loud sigh.

"No, no." Kara is quick to follow you, kneeling in front of you and holding your hand. "I wanted to apologize for waiting for the kryptonite to finally show me what my life could've been like if I had a little bit of courage."

"Kara, you are the epitome of courage."

"No, I'm not. I've been wanting to ask you out for months and haven't got the courage." She confesses. "Do you know how many times I almost called you baby these past few weeks?"

"You said Pink Kryptonite turns Kryptonian gays." She shakes her head agreeing. "For you to be turned into something, you can't already be that something."

"It turned me extra gay." 

You bite your lip to hold back a laugh, but she's not scared of showing you her wide smile. "Let me show you."

"Show me what?" 

Kara perches up, thumb sliding across your cheek until her hand cups your face. "Let me show you that it wasn't the Pink Kryptonite that turned me gay." She brings your face closer. "Let me show you how you were the one that did it."

"Are you sure this isn't the Pink Kryptonite talking?"

"I'll tell you what," Her breath is hot in your mouth, and you're holding your own breath in anticipation. "why don't we go to sleep and when we wake up you can ask me again?"

"Ok." But your resolution is weakening by the minute, especially after she spoons you in bed and places a little goodnight kiss on your neck.

You wake up with more flowers and breakfast in bed. Kara has a warm smile, and she looks so damn beautiful just fresh out of bed it's annoying.

"Good morning, baby." She holds your face between her hands, thumb caressing your cheek in the way that makes your heart flutter. She’s obviously able to hear it.

You swallow deep. "Is this you or the Pink Kryptonite?"

"Why don't you ask me again after work?" Kara says feeding you a strawberry, and you agree weakly with your head.

She shows up at lunch time, and holds your smelly tuna sandwich out of your reach, convincing you that you deserve better food. She has it all set out on your balcony, a whole picnic that makes all of your colleagues so jealous of your lunch date. Little do they know she actually flew to Italy for that pasta.

And it's another thumb stroke and another, "Is this the Pink Kryptonite?" question that makes her head tilt a little bit farther and she reaches the corner of your mouth, instead of your lips.

"Ask me again at our dinner tonight."”

After work pick-ups and holding hands and perhaps it's Pink Kryptonite. Flowers and dinner dates and maybe it's just the exposure. Movie nights and cuddles and what if it is still turning you gay. Slow dancing to the TV light and thumbs slowly stroking your cheeks and why don't you ask again tomorrow. And that goes on for weeks.

Alex texts you that Kara was exposed to real Kryptonite this time. You know, not the one that turns her into the queen of gays, but the one that turns her bones into flaming hot goo. You run to the Tower and watch her unawake under the yellow sunlight. 

"Hey, it's ok." Alex holds your shoulder while you cry. "She'll be fine. A few hours under the sun and she's good as new."

"What?"

"Yeah, the effects of the kryptonite aren't lasting. It wears off if we deal with it fast."

"With all of the different types?" You furrow your brows at her and Alex agrees with her head.

Well, haven't you been wasting precious time?

You run into the medbay, and sit beside her bed. Like clockwork, a couple hours later, Kara's eyes open and she looks at you on the other side. "Hey baby."

"Oh my God, baby!" You run to her, not caring about anyone on the other side of the glass that might be able to see you both. You throw yourself at her, kissing her entire face. "You scared me."

She smiles widely. "And would do it again to have you kissing my face like that."

You hold her face between your hands, and slide your thumb across her cheek. "Don't you dare." She smiles, but soon her eyes widen when she realizes what's coming next. You meet her lips with yours softly. But soon she deepens the kiss, and next thing you know she's pulling you up the bed while sitting herself up. You’re full on sitting on her lap, while your lips crash and tongues slide and hands explore visible skin. And honestly, the yellow sunlight doesn’t help when you’re body already feels like it is on fire. 

Kara parts the kiss for some air, and looks at you with full-blown pupils. "Is this you or Pink Kryptonite?"

You roll your eyes and give her a chuckle. "Shut up and kiss me again before I think the Green Kryptonite is also turning you gay."

Kara’s tongue is almost inside your mouth again when you hear a yell from the other side of the glass.

"NO! Absolutely not! We can see everything!” Kara is quick to move her hands out of your butt. “That was more than enough!" 

Alex's face is red from yelling, Lena's face is red from embarrassment, and Nia's cellphone case is red from all the pictures she's been taking.

"Keep going! I'm gonna turn these into GIFs!"

You and Kara look at each other, "We should go." "Yeah."

So Kara was right, it wasn't the exposure that turned her gay. Still you do appreciate yours truly, Pink Kryptonite, because at least it gave her courage to be her true gay self.

[ghostfacd]

“JUST SAY SOMETHING, OLIVIA.”

gabe perreault x hughes!sister

au masterlist

Gabe Perreault was an absolute sweetheart. He’d make sure you were full everytime he stopped by your dorm, and always gave you his hoodies that he had sprayed in his cologne so you could have them when you missed him too much. He always walked on the outside part of the sidewalk, and make sure you never paid on dates. It was just who Gabe was, caring and loving.

Did this mean Jack and Luke liked him? No, not really.

Sure, he was a decent guy in their eyes, but never good enough for their little sister. That was just what it was. No matter how hard Gabe tried to display how much he loved and appreciated you, Jack and Luke were stubborn in the head.

“Will you two stop it?” Quinn scolds, watching his two younger brothers stare down Gabe as he was braiding your hair. You two had gone to visit your brothers and parents since it was winter break at Princeton.

“Stop what?” Jack feigned innocence, which led him and Luke to receive both a slap on the head from Quinn. “Ouch! Quinn!”

“He’s a good guy,” Quinn says, eyes averting to you and Gabe on the couch, “hell, I’m in Vancouver and even I know that. He makes her happy.”

“He makes her happy now,” Luke says, rolling his eyes. “And what will happen once he starts playing in the NHL? Surrounded by the sudden wave of women, while Livvy’s busy studying at Princeton?”

“Are you implying our little sister’s boyfriend is gonna cheat on her?” Quinn grits his teeth in annoyance.

“Hey,” Luke raises his hands in surrender, “you said it yourself, not me.”

Quinn gets up from his seat, not wanting to deal with the two Hughes’ stubbornness any longer.

“Hi.” You say as you take a seat next to Luke on one of the island’s chairs. Gabe sits right next to you, giving a small wave and awkward smile to your brothers.

“Hey.” Jack’s tone doesn’t sound too friendly, which catches your attention right away. You quickly shoot him a glare, making sure he wasn’t going to say or do anything rude to your boyfriend.

“So, Gabe?” Luke’s tone is just as harsh as Jack’s, and you swore you could feel Gabe’s hold on you loosen in nervousness.

“Yep, that’s me.” Gabe tries his best to give a bright smile, though his confidence had died as soon as he saw how unwelcoming Jack and Luke were. “Nice to meet you guys! Livvy has told me so much about you, so it’s nice to meet two of the important people in her life.”

“Right,” Jack eyes Gabe up and down before clearing his throat. “So, Gabriel, what are your intentions with my sister?”

“Jack!” You smack your brother on the arm, already knowing where this was heading.

“All good intentions Jack,” Gabe replies. “I love your sister.”

“Love,” Jack laughs as if it’s the funniest thing in the world and Gabe wishes desperately for the ground to swallow him up right then and there. He loved you, so why was it so amusing to your brother that he expressed so?

“You play hockey, don’t you?” Now it was Luke’s turn to interrogate.

Gabe nods slowly, hoping your parents or Quinn could interrupt the moment.

“Heard you got drafted. Big deal, right? Do you see Livvy in your future, Gabe? Especially with all the women that will be surrounding you in the nearby future? I know how hockey guys can be, and you do too, don’t you? I mean, you are one, are you not?”

The implication of Gabe possibly cheating on you makes his breath hitch and he so desperately wants to throw up. How could your brothers think so badly of him? Of course he wouldn’t cheat on you.

“Excuse me for a second,” Gabe gets up, heading to the guest bathroom. He feels sick, so much so that he needs to wash his face with cold water to breathe properly again.

When he slowly opens the door, he finds you with your eyebrows furrow as your brothers list off a reasons why dating him wouldn’t be a good idea.

“Look Livvy, he’s a hockey player. A hockey player. He’s bound to break your heart, we all know this.”

“You’re a smart, talented girl Livs. You’re not gonna let him ruin you and leave you in the mud, are you?”

“Livvy, honestly, he’s not good enough for you.”

“He will never be good enough for you, with a draft or without.”

And he hears them say this without you ever coming into his defense. No “you’re wrong about him” or “Gabe isn’t like that”, absolutely nothing.

Gabe’s lip quivers, and he never felt more out of place than he had now.

“Gabe?” Your voice breaks him out of his trance, and you approach him with a sad look in your eye, automatically bringing your hands up to wipe his tears away.

But Gabe pushes your hand from his face, not wanting comfort from a person who just let their brothers talk badly about him for the entire time.

“Gabe, what’s wrong?” You frown. Gabe never once pushed your touches away, so you knew this was serious. “I’m sorry about Jack and Luke baby, I didn’t know they would be like that.”

“You didn’t defend me.”

He says it so low that you didn’t even hear it the first time.

“Gabe?”

“You didn’t defend me.”

His tears come down more than before, and your instincts tell you to hold him in your arms and wipe away all of them, but you knew he didn’t want you to touch him right now.

“I’m sorry baby, but they’re my older brothers, I..”

“Just say something, Olivia.” Gabe stresses, hands coming up to wipe away his tears. “Tell them that I love you, you know I do. You know how much you mean to me, yet you let them just talk your ear off about how I’ll never be enough for you.”

Gabe’s usage of your full middle name makes your heart hurt. Never had he called you Olivia.

“Gabe—”

“I think we should take a break, Olivia.”

There it goes again. Olivia.

You gulp, trying to keep your tears at bay. “If that’s what you want, baby, then we can do that.”

Gabe nods slowly, not trusting his words at this point. He’s worried he’s gonna say the wrong things and make the situation worse.

He loves you, he does. But he needs a break.

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

And that’s enough to make you crack. Your sobs wreck your entire body as you watch Gabe reach for his things, leaving out the door. He mentioned about having a friend living nearby, so you’re glad to know that he has a place to stay for the time being.

“Livvy? Are you okay sissy?” Quinn’s voice automatically makes you cry harder, and he doesn’t waste a second before pulling you into his chest, arms coming to wrap themselves around you.

“No.” Is all you can mutter as you bury yourself into his chest, letting him rub your arms comfortingly.

Quinn sits with you for a while, letting you cry out your feelings before you fall into a deep slumber. Carefully, he places you down on your bed, giving you a quick kiss to the forehead before turning off the lights.

He descends down the stairs, quickly making his way to Jack and Luke who were currently playing video games as if nothing happened.

Grabbing both by the ear, Quinn sits them down at a table, a murderous look in his eyes.

“Ow! You did not have to do that,” Jack grumbles, placing both his arms across his chest.

“Oh but I did.” Quinn crosses his arms angrily, glaring at both Jack and Luke. “Listen, I knew you two were dumbasses, but I didn’t think you’d be this dumb.”

“What on earth are you talking about?!” Luke sighs loudly, upset at Quinn interrupting his game time with Jack.

“You practically ruined Livvy’s relationship!” Quinn shouts, pointing an accusing finger at the two. “Are you guys happy?! Are you guys thrilled that you’ve ruined your younger sister’s relationship? Does it live up to your satisfaction?!”

Jack and Luke’s eyebrows furrow, not realizing that you were currently asleep with puffy eyes and that Gabe was equally heartbroken, face in a pillow as he cried to his friend about what had happened.

“They broke up?” Jack says, breath hitched.

“No they didn’t break up,” Quinn sighs, and the two swore they could practically see steam coming from his nose. “But they’re on a break, all thanks to the idiotic and rude comments you made about Gabe earlier. You know how much Livvy looks up to the two of you, yet you choose to make these comments about her and Gabe, and how he’s gonna potentially cheat on her in the future?! That’s sick! That is so fucking sick that you would do that to your own sister, and justify it by saying you’re just being a good older brother? No. That is not what we are going to do, Jack, Luke.”

Being scolded by Quinn was almost if not worse than being scolded by their parents. Like you, Jack and Luke had always looked up to Quinn as a sort of guide in their life, and now that he was furious with them, it made their chest turn in guilt.

“You better go and apologize not only to Livvy, but to Gabe. He’s a sweetheart, and he’s tried desperately to put up with you two’s nonsense. Enough is enough, alright?! No more of this overprotective brother bullshit, put your differences aside for Livvy. My God,”

Jack and Luke can only nod in embarrassment as Quinn leaves the kitchen, both realizing the depth of their words.

That night, they had called Gabe, apologizing nonstop for what they had done and said. Thankfully, Gabe was a very forgiving person, and actually found out he had a lot in common with your older brothers than he had previously thought.

The next day, he had showed up to the house, your favorite flowers in hand.

“Hey man,” Luke greets, throwing Gabe an awkward but apologetic smile. Gabe mumbles a quiet hey back, asking him where you were.

“She’s upstairs, Jack and I are really sorry about what happened. We can’t apologize enough.”

“It’s alright,” Gabe says, “thank you for owning up to your mistakes.”

He makes his way up the stairs, seeing you still asleep with one of his grey hoodies over your body. He places a quick peck to your lips, frowning when he realizes your eyes were puffy.

“Livvy,” he whispers, smoothing out your hair.

“Mhm..” you open your eyes slowly, seeing Gabe in your view. “Am I still dreaming?”

He giggles slightly, shaking his head. “No pretty girl, you’re not dreaming.”

You quickly pull Gabe into a hug, placing kisses all over his face. “I’m sorry baby, I know I should’ve said something.”

“It’s alright Livvy,” Gabe presses a kiss to the side of your head, “I know you wanted to.”

You two lay on your bed for the rest of the morning, laughing about how short your “break” was and how you were totally going to beat Jack and Luke up later for this.

You had actually woken up in the middle of the night to your mother, Ellen, rubbing her thumb over your cheek. You had sobbed to her, explaining what had happened, and Ellen had automatically gone to yell at her sons, regardless if it was midnight or not.

They had listened to every word she had lectured out, and explained to her how they had already called Gabe to apologize. Needless to say, Jack and Luke never spoke badly about Gabe again.

[swiftsdelucaa]

Can I please have an imagine where the reader is dating Addison Montgomery and they decide that they want to try for a baby via sperm donor. Fast forward a few months and the reader finds out she’s pregnant. When she tells Addison she is over the moon. She kisses the reader and ends up proposing to her. Another fast forward and they end up having a baby boy. Fluffy please?

❛ 𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕'𝒔 𝒖𝒔 ❜

𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: Addison Montgomery x f!reader ♡

𝘼/𝙣: So sorry for the wait, I wasn't feeling good :( But I hope you'll like it!

What's more beautiful than being with someone you like? It's hard to say. You and Addison looked so good together and you both recently decided to try for a baby. Both you and her were thrilled with this choice and were looking forward to nothing more than to have a family.

Since Addison had little chance of getting pregnant, everything was staked on you, the idea of carrying your child made you even more proud and eager to become a mother.

You started with a few donations, choosing a decent donor was as hard as fun, but unfortunately you weren't immediately lucky. You were both doctors, you knew it would take time, so you didn't let yourself be discouraged. Let's say that after other unsuccessful attempts, your enthusiasm gradually vanished, but Addison had that energy that she was able to transmit to you continuously, so you continued to believe it. God, how much you loved her.

Finally, just when you didn't expect it, it happened. You were pregnant. The answer to the test was more than clear, you must have watched it at least a dozen times before realizing it. You couldn't wait to tell her, you were so happy, her reaction would surely be double yours. And to surprise her by venting all your happiness, you have prepared an excellent dinner.

Addison returned about two hours later, it seemed more for you. She followed the delicious smell coming from the room where you were, welcoming you with a warm smile and giving you a light kiss on your lips.

"Wow, I'm so hungry" she said as you turned to her. "Hey, what's up?" she asked you having noticed your particular happiness.

"Addison Forbes Montgomery" you took her hands, making her feel more curious. "You have no idea how much I'll love you seeing you with our baby" her face lit up, she was probably still reworking. You placed her hands on your belly.

"You- you're pregnant?" her smile became the most beautiful thing for you in that moment.

"Yeah!" you exclaimed, unable to hold back your tears.

"Oh my God Y/n!" she kissed you intensely, then stopping everything to say something.

"Y/n L/n, you'll make me the happiest person giving me a baby and becoming my wife" she looked at your eyes, her words looked so serious and full of love. At that point the tears increased, you didn't know if for the hormones you had taken or for the inexplicable happiness, maybe for both. You began to sob laughing, unable to control yourself.

"Yes, yes, yes!!! I'd love to become your wife" you kissed her again, this time longer than before.

So the wedding and the baby have been the only priority to you in this period. Both had decided that the wedding would be after the baby's birth, also because you didn't want to seem an awful monster on the best day of your life.

For the baby you had done every possible exam, you wanted a beautiful healthy baby, and you'd do everything to make it sure. The funniest thing was that, well, barring your stupid hormones and weird cravings for food that no one would ever eat, you couldn't agree on just one name, you might even have combined all possibilities at the cost of pleasing both. He was a baby boy, and she'd liked to call him Henry, but you liked Jess more. So... Jenry...? For a while you thought that was better to stop thinking about it, at the sight of the baby it was hoped that the name would be chosen immediately.

When you was in labor she was in surgery, trying to save another baby. Let's say it, you were very stubborn, you would even have been able to stop labor with all your might just to have Addison with you.

"Where the fuck is the girl who's gonna be my wife?! I want her here!" you were yelling at anyone trying to calm you down, then Addison finally caught up with you and you began to realize the situation better.

"We're meeting our son, oh my God Y/n it's awesome, I love you so much!" she squeezed your hand as you screamed in pain between the thrusts.

"No, it's not-" you tried to tell her referring to the 'beautiful' experience you were passing at that moment.

When you were finally able to hug your son you did nothing but look at him laughing with tears in your eyes, you didn't believe that such a beautiful thing could grow inside you.

"Ryle" you said. "He's name is Ryle" you looked at Addison and then turned towards the cute baby boy you held.

"Yeah, Ryle. It's perfect" she kissed your forehead and gently stroked the baby's cheek.

In these two months Ryle had already grown a lot, he was becoming more and more adorable. Well, during your wedding ceremony he cried and screamed almost all the time, but somehow it made it special.

As soon as he was with either of you he calmed down, and there were no words to describe that feeling, where the son recognizes his own mother. But you can say you're proud of everything, of you, of Addison, of Ryle, of all of you together.

[gryphonlover]

I’m in a yapping mood so I’ve come to bother you (I’m so sorry), anyways here’s how I think the chain would play BG3:

Time- he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He falls for every trap and he accidentally kills characters he shouldn’t have because he trusted the wrong people. He definitely played the dark urge because he thought “that one looks interesting” but didn’t fully think that choice through, and he was TRYING to be a good person but he’s absolutely given into the evil thoughts by act 2. Doesn’t even realize romancing the characters is an OPTION until Lae’zel comes up to him like “i want you” and then he screams

Wars- He’s still stuck in character creator /j Fr tho he put HOURS into designing his tav and his created like, the most conventionally attractive mf out there (it’s definitely a paladin half high elf with that ONE specific face). He’d romance Wyll (best man in existence) or Lae’zel (terrifying lady). I’d say he plays it for the dating sim but he’s also INSANE and likes attacking people

Twi- He’d play a sweet little tiefling druid. He’s just there for the vibes, he just wants to pet the owlbear cub the rest of the game stresses him out (he’s a stardew valley kinda guy). He stays in the safety of act 1 and just runs around

Sky- he takes his bg3 incredibly seriously, he has over 700 hours. I think he’d be a cleric, every single time. He’s GOOD at combat, he’d good at building the characters, he loves exploring

Hyrule- Ranger. Romanced the emperor because he thought it was funny and then had a LOT of explaining to do when Legend saw he got a trophy for that. He just makes whatever he thinks the funniest choice would be

Legend- He’s one of the few who has the strength to play a different character every play through. He loves exploring the game and he’s romanced all the characters just to see how different they all are and he loves all their lore. Has more hours than Sky but pretends he doesn’t so he doesn’t get judged for being insane

Wild- Wizard or Sorcerer, either way he blows everything up. Pickpockets all the npcs for cash because he thinks its funny, makes HORRIBLE decisions because he’s curious to see what happens. Definitely doesn’t know you can pay Withers to revive people after they die-

Four- plays the exact same dragonborn fighter every single time, but each play through he does gets crazier and crazier until he’s making INSANE decisions and everyone gets the WORST possible endings, but he’s having fun and he likes being evil

Wind- he picked to be a sorcerer, but other than that he randomized everything else and ended up playing a hot pink gnome he named “Ronald”. He’s having the time of his life

-crazylittlejester

This is the best thing I've heard ALL DAY. I'm not kidding. (And you can bother me anytime. That's why the ask ox is open. 👍)

I have to admit, I had the same reaction as Time when I discovered the dating part, and I've never even played the game. 😅

11/10, totally agree. They would love D&D so much, my goodness. Someone needs to make an LU version of that one episode of VLD where all the paladins play a one-session campaign. It would be complete chaos.

[jamiesfootball]

How do you think Keeley would have reacted if when she told Roy she slept with Jamie after he blew her off that Roy said he'd had a one night stand with Jamie in between the gala and then too?

First answer? She jumps out of her chair and shouts, “J’ACCUSE!”

Possible realistic answer? Some insightful and semi-nuanced conversation regarding the circumstances in which the hookup happened and what it means for Roy and Keeley’s potential relationship etc etc (this is other people’s bread and butter, I can’t help with this sort of stuff, sorry)

Now.

Funniest answer?

She pretends she doesn’t believe him.

And at first maybe, she doesn’t. Roy, irritated and more than a little miffed that this is something he actually has to put words to, starts to explain what happened and as he talks it clicks for her, ‘oh he might be telling the truth.’

Except she's still miffed about him ghosting her, so in a spur of the moment Keeley Jones Whim (TM) she decides to double down. No, she doesn't believe him. You can just say you’re upset with me. You don’t need to make things up.

"I’m not making it up. I’m telling you I slept with him. I can even tell you what he looks like naked."

"Locker room."

"I know what he's like in bed."

"Tabloids."

Because then whats Roy gonna do? Go to the Diamond Dogs and ask them 'how to convince the person you want to be dating that you slept with someone else?' Go to Jamie and try to get him to back him up?

"You need to tell your ex girlfriend we slept together. She doesn’t believe me. She says that I'm making it up."

Jamie: *astroprojecting to the ether to sync up with Keeley ET-style*

"........what are you talking about?"

"The- what? After the gala."

"I don't know man, it sounds sounds like maybe you had a bit too much to drink in your old age."

Roy:

Then when Jamie comes to Keeley’s house at the end of the season, Roy is like ‘FINALLY. NOW CAN WE ALL PLEASE ADMIT I SLEPT WITH JAMIE.’

Keeley and Jamie, realizing that they have not discussed The Bit with each other:

“Roy, we’re a little concerned by how much you keep bringing this up.”

“Yeah mate. I think your memory might be going. Have you been checked for Alzheimer’s?”

Roy:

The return on dividends for this is endless. It would only become more frustrating, and therefore funnier, the longer it goes on

And the thing is? Roy knows they’re fucking with him. He fucking knows that he’s feeding the wolves the more he lets it get to him. So he tries to let it go, let enough time pass that surely they’ll be over this bit and one of them will just ADMIT THAT HE’S TELLING THE TRUTH

They 'the shark is smooth' this man to his deathbed.

[sciderman]

I think, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, that the funniest part about Johnny juuuust missing on scoring Peter is that Johnny would’ve very well been Pete’s healthiest relationship right after Gwen. Don’t get me wrong, I love spideypool, but their relationship has been one of the biggest trainwrecks I’ve ever witnessed in all six+ years I’ve been following the blog, though to their credit they’re getting better but it’s at a snails pace it feels like so, y’know.

In some alternate universe Johnny got to Pete before Wade did and those two are out there living their best life and Wade is cussing up a storm for living in the universe where he didn’t score Pete (and in another another universe, Johnny’s dating Pete and Pete is dating Wade and it’s still a bit of a trainwreck but it’s not as bad as it could’ve been)

gosh... you know, it's a fun little thought experiment, actually. if johnny and peter would've panned out just fine in 9319, if johnny was the shoulder peter wound up crying on after gwen.

i really think if it were to happen, they'd probably be in friends-with-benefits territory for like, a while. johnny and peter they're – they're really touchy-feely. and i totally think that, after gwen, one of those moments where johnny's physically reassuring peter could easily escalate into something more. but neither of them push it into romantic territory quite yet because – peter needs time, i guess. but the fact that johnny is so there, and so understanding, and so safe and comforting – and not at all scary and hostile like harry turned out to be for him – it means that it happens again. and again.

and the thing with johnny is that - even when peter has his inevitable breakdowns where he says the wrong thing, or pushes johnny away inadvertently because of his own insecurities - johnny doesn't bail. he pushes his way in. he'll call peter out, as a friend. "hey. you're acting like a sack of shit right now and i hate to see it. do better."

and it might take peter months about it, and johnny's not pushing, but eventually - eventually it locks in peter's head that maybe him and johnny could make it. and that this is something good. something good that he should grab onto.

i was trying to really think about ways this could fall apart - i think peter would be - different, if he was dating johnny. i think he'd stay very masc-aligned. very macho. i think he wouldn't transform quite as much as he did with wade. and i think he'd lean into spider-man more. he'd lean into spider-man in a healthy sort of a way, because there's kind of - less demand for him as peter. johnny's a hero too, and he's never giving that up. it's the family business. whereas with wade - there's so much more pressure on peter to change in order to make compromises with wade and what wade wants. changes that peter won't actually really have to make or address, if he was with johnny. so - i think peter would greatly stay as he was - very masc, very traditional. it works just fine for johnny - but i think peter would become healthier, by virtue of having a lot of unconditional love in his life. so - yeah. it all works out. happily ever after, i think.

but you won't get peter in cute dresses, so we all lose.

[lexxiie]

Can you do one about spanking the jjk boys????? Lots of love!

WHEN YOU SPANK THEM

I actually already did this, however I didn't particularly like the last one, so I figured a part 2 wouldn't hurt.

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen Featuring: Gojo, Geto, Nanami, Toji.

SATORU GOJO

Isn't Satoru the funniest boyfriend on earth? He's soooo funny, it's absolutely wonderful, isn't it? No. Not when the jokes are always at your expense. It really isn't funny when he's the only one laughing, which is usually the case.

Having time with him to go on dates or just to hang out is great, you don't get to have him all to yourself all that often, but sometimes you wonder what it would be like to take a break from him once you actually are together.

As you walk through the mall, staring at some clothes you liked, Satoru jumps out from somewhere behind you while screaming "boo!"... For the 11th time today. You don't really mind him scaring you, the problem is how embarrased you feel after screaming out loud every single time, and that embarrasment is exactly what he finds funny about the whole thing.

You decided it had been enough, that you deserved revenge. What could possibly embarrass the man before you? Probably nothing, but you had to try. As he picked the clothes you liked before and headed to pay for them, you went quietly right behind him. You knew that it was impossible to take him by surprise, he obviously knew you were behind him, but he never expects anything dangerous of you, so he doesn't make an effort to pay attention any further than that. When he grabs the bag full of newly payed clothes, you smack his ass as hard as you can, making sure everyone heard. "Thanks, love!" you scream as his head slowly turns to you in utter disbelief. The cashier is in complete shock, and so is everyone who witnessed that. After Satoru recovered from the whole thing, he looked at you with a smiled that symbolized a declaration of war.

KENTO NANAMI

You can't really think of anyone who has ever cared for you the way Kento does. You have never had to wonder wether he loves you or not, you just know he does and have always known. You truly could not be any happier than you are with him, not even if you tried.

He does everything he can to make you happy, and you truly appretiate it. However, he can be too serious sometimes, so you try to ease him from time to time, remind him that it's okay to relax.

He obviously takes his job very seriously, and for the last couple of weeks, he had been very busy, which is why you decided that you were gonna convince him of having a date night as soon as he came home. The moment you heard the door open, you ran to Kento's arms, almost tumbling him down. He got worried at first, thinking that something might have happened to you, but you quickly let him in on your brilliant idea involving a date.

The sorcerer looked at you apologetically, explaining to you that he wanted to sleep early tonight in order to wake up early tomorrow. His comment was not appreciated by you at all, obviously. As he turned his back to you to place his coat in the closet next to the door, you spanked him as hard as you could. Why? you were not so sure, but you did. He turned to look at you with the most shocked expression you had ever seen on his face, but you stayed firm and decided to take advantage of his confusion. "You will go out with me tonight" you demanded. It was clearly not a question anymore. Kento looked at you for a little while, before smiling, still confused. "As you wish, darling."

GETO SUGURU

You were truly so sad. Your day had been going sooo well... Until some guy asked for your number right in front of Geto. Now he was throwing a tantrum, walking ahead of you on the street, as if he hadn't come with you. You knew that he wasn't being serious about it, but you also knew that deep down he was a bit upset that you didn't slap the guy and recited your wedding vows too. A simple "No, I have a boyfriend" wasn't enough for him.

"Come on, Geto!" You yelled, urging him to come back and go on with your date, but he continued walking with his arms crossed, pretending that he didn't hear a sound. "Did you expect me to spit at him back there?" You asked him, letting him know how absurd his behaviour was. "Yes! You failed me!" The man yelled back, still commited to his useless tantrum.

You were tired now, then, the best idea ever crossed your mind. You aproached him quietly, and once you were close enough, You smacked him hard enough to make a loud sound, making Geto stop on his tracks. It took him a little while to finally look at you, with a surprised smile on his face. "Did you just spank me?" He asked in disbelief. "Well, that's what you do when a child is being unreasonable" you answered with confidence. A mischevious smile appeared on his face all of a sudden. "Yeah, exaclty."

TOJI FUSHIGURO

You recently got the best pair of pants ever, they made your butt look huge, you absolutely loved them. The only person that could possibly love them more than you did, was toji.

Whenever you had them on, he couldn't help but spank your ass quite often through the day. It's not like that bothered you... At least not the first 15 times, though you must admit, it was becoming a bit annoying now.

You were both watching a movie, cuddling together, but after a while, your hand was grasping air as you went in to grab more popcorn, so it was time to go get more. You broke away from Toji's grip as you got up from the couch, but before you could get too far, a light smack took you out of your thoughts. Enough.

Pretendig like nothing happened, you microwaved more popcorn and yelled Toji's name, claiming you needed some help. He got to the kitchen rather quickly and poured more water for both of you, while he was facing away, you reunited all the strength your body had in the palm of your hand, spanking Toji quite hard. He stayed quiet for a few seconds, but soon broke into laughter. "How cute" he pointed out, it didn't take him long to chase you all over the house, planning on getting revenge.

For those who read the manga and want to feel even more angst, I recommend: When you have a nightmare, where I almost predicted the future.

[pageofheartdj]

Funniest option: Lucifer was really into television for a while early on (some decade before now??) but he got so into it that he sorta just.. watched. Sorta like how currently he makes rubber sucks hypermode style?

(<- not to the same degree as the ducks. Possible option: he was really into the Adam's Family television show and quit when it stopped airing because "the rest was convoluted or mindless without reason (aka no circus motifs?? No hell motifs?? No healthy families or stuff free of sexism or racism or other such things? ALSO in the 60s or 70s they made a TON of propaganda television stuff so)

He had a moment of "this ain't good!" and fully quit and because he's immortal a few decades is like nothing to him, at least when it isn't related to his loved ones. It was sorta hypnotizing for him for a while because wow! Humans are achieving things they only categorized as magic mere decades prior!!

The unfortunate side effect is that while he may be sorta up to date with lingo, he ALSO shares a mutual avoidance of television with Alastor (what do they do when they find out????)

He liked tv, but current media became trash so he dipped out xD

But seriously, with his depression, tv can drag in deep. At least with ducks he creates something and has a physical proof and he does something that he actually likes. While being glued to the screen make it feels like nothing happens while time flies by.

Reminds me the whole Butler show with Greg from SU, so Lucifer avoids tv, otherwise he'll get addicted again lkjhgfs

Guess he had a moment of realization that he just wastes time and feels like garbage. So hey, some self-care by dropping it! Good for him! I hc that Alastor didn't hate tv before but because of his falling out with Vox he despises it and trashes it at any given moment because he a petty bitch jkhg

[thv-jk97]

The funniest thing here is that taekookers are celebrating things that Jikook have already done years before taekook ever dreamed of doing them but because for you guys it is happening now, the excitement is still fresh. Then jikookers being miserable because these were things they could once say were exclusive to their ship because only Jm and Jk had done these but now taking trips isn’t special anymore because Taekook have done it, Jk has done it with his other friends too.

Well celebrate all you can now. It’s your time to enjoy this because like clockwork, something Jikook will happen again that will get y’all feeling miserable and then something taekook comes again to happen that will get jikookers feeling miserable. The earlier y’all realize these boys are all friends and no one is dating anyone and they do all these jist because they love and care about each other, the better because just wait until some information gets released in the future and you find out that Jk was doing some huge thing for Jimin too😂

Hi anon!

“celebrating things that jikook have already done years before taekook ever dreamed of doing them” and how do you know that? It seems pretty clear that you’re not well-versed in taekook related things, and tbf, I guess I can’t fault you for that if you’re not that invested in knowing as a non-shipper (I’m assuming here based on your ask, forgive me if I’m wrong).

I think one of the most significant details that we can take from Tae’s Instagram post is that we realistically have no idea what these guys are up to 95% of the time. And sure, we can’t assume that taekook spent all their time together off-cam, but based on the fact that we often hear about things they’ve done together, based on the fact that they talk about spending time together, based on tons of other details that are often revealed in a casual way, I think it’s pretty reasonable to surmise that they probably spend time together a lot more often that what we do hear about. And sure, you can explain it all away with the simple conclusion that “they’re friends”, but this is a taekook blog, and you knew that when you found yourself on my blog, so obviously we’re going to view these things differently. You say that it’s platonic when Tae tells JK that he misses him and JK hops on a plane to join him, I say that they’re in love. Let’s not forget that taekook have actually traveled together before this one Hawaii instance as well.

Which brings me to my next point because it’s so interesting that you brought up that jkkrs are only just now acknowledging that “going on trips” isn’t exclusive to jikook because “going on trips” hasn’t been exclusive to jikook ever. Jihope have traveled by themselves, vhope have traveled by themselves, yoonjin have traveled by themselves, etc etc. You even said that JK has gone on trips with his friends too, so if we’re going by that logic, tell me how “going on trips” was exclusive to just jikook because there have been multiple instances of JM traveling with his friends too.

The thing is, anon, like myself, most of the tkkrs that I’m familiar with aren’t actually miserable over jikook interactions because jikook doesn’t affect how we view taekook. It’s not some competition between vmin over who is getting more attention/affection from JK. There’s a lot more to why we think taekook are possibly in a romantic relationship and none of it stems from comparing interactions between taekook and jikook. I’d encourage you to look into taekook lore, but you don’t really seem all that interested. Which makes me wonder, anon, if you’re so sure that taekook do all of these things because they’re friends, then why are you here? Why does my opinion, and the opinion of other “shippers”, matter to you?

[youre-a-total--poser]

Naughty Step (Request)

Warnings: Let me know

Age: 2

Word Count: 1,057

Requests: Open

Summary: Your bad behaviour caused you to be put in the naughty step

Requested by:

Date: 07/10/2022

A/N: The ending is awful I hate it so much it just ruins the whole story. I wrote the perfect ending last night and when I went back this morning everything that I wrote was gone.

Main Masterlist

---⧗---

The Avengers were all sitting around the table and enjoying their Saturday night takeaway together.

Since everyone was so busy with their own lives Saturdays were the only time when everyone could get together.

Tonight's dinner was pizza. You were sitting in your high chair watching your mom cut up your slice into smaller pieces.

--⧗---

Lots of different serious conversations were happening all at once and there was you telling Wanda about your new colouring book and that you coloured a dinosaur in yellow and that you decided your mama's phone was needing to be cleaned so you took it in the bath with you and used it as a bath toy.

You were such a talkative 2-year-old that Natasha had to remind you constantly to stop talking and eat your dinner.

It had taken you a while but you had finally eaten nearly eaten half of the pizza.

Peter was sitting next to you and you looked at his plate and you saw that he had French fries and you wanted some.

"Y/N have one pwease?" You pointed at Peter's plate.

"Is that okay Ms Romanoff?" Peter asked first before he gave you any just in case.

"Only one Peter since she still has pizza to eat."

Peter handed you a french fry and you ate it then you pointed at his plate "more pwease."

"No Y/N eat your own dinner not Peter's," Steve said.

That sentence right there was your breaking point. You couldn't believe that he would say something like that it caused you to start screaming.

"Want more." You screamed.

"You can get more but only if you say please." Natasha tried to reason with you she hated seeing you get this upset over some fries.

Of course, you being a stubborn 2-year-old decided to go in the complete opposite direction. "No pwease." You angrily crossed your arms.

"Why?" Natasha asked trying to hide her laughter. For some reason, she always found your little toddler tantrums the funniest thing ever and very amusing but she tried her best to hide it she didn't want to encourage that behaviour.

Steve was the complete opposite he found no amusement in it whatsoever and got annoyed by your screaming very quickly.

"Pwease yucky.”

"Okay then no more for Y/N," Natasha said

"MORE!" You screamed as loud as you possibly could.

"Y/N, stop being silly," Steve said getting more annoyed.

But you didn't stop if anything it just made you scream more.

Steve stood up took you out of the high chair and walked away carrying you.

"Mama!" You cried trying to reach out for her but she didn't come to save you.

Steve sat you down on the step in the next room. "You stay here Y/N till I come get you," Steve said firmly then he walked away.

You got up and followed him then he put you back on the step.

--⧗---

It has been six times you had got up from the step only to be put back on it and you weren't planning on giving up any time soon.

"Steve just stop you're not going to win this she's not going to give up. She's too much like Natasha." Sam said watching you and him go back and forth.

"That's what she wants she wants me to give up." Steve picked you up and placed you on the step yet again.

You screamed and screamed for your mama but you didn't move from the step

After 5 minutes of nonstop screaming, there was silence.

Natasha went to check on you and saw you sleeping on the step with your thumb in your mouth. Your face was bright red from all the screaming and crying.

She picked you up and carried you Into the common room where everyone was.

"I think it's time we take this little one home," Natasha whispered.

After Steve and Natasha said goodbye to everyone they got into their car and drove home.

They moved out of the compound a few months after they found out that Natasha was pregnant they decided that the compound wasn't a safe place for a baby to be and they wanted their own space too.

The drive back home was completely silent since you were asleep and Steve and Natasha didn't say a word to each other.

Natasha carried you into the house and to your bed. After she tucked you in and was certain that you were safe and sound she went to her and Steve's bedroom.

She didn't go all the way into the room she leaned against the door frame and watched as Steve folded some laundry.

Steve didn't even need Natasha to speak he just knew that she was there.

"Please just say whatever it is that you're planning on saying." He placed a folded pair of socks in the laundry basket and then turned to face Natasha.

"I don't think that you handled things with our daughter correctly."

"Well, what did you expect me to do Nat she was out of control?" Steve said starting an argument that he definitely wasn't prepared for.

"She's not out of control Steve she's a toddler she's just doing what toddlers do" Natasha argued back she wasn't going to let him think he is right about this.

"She needs to be disciplined more Natasha you're not strict enough with her and have let her get away with far too much."

"I have been giving her the discipline that she needs but I have also been showing her that she is free to express her emotions how she thinks is right and not be made to hide them away and be scared to show any real feelings."

When Natasha said that Steve went silent he had forgotten that Natasha wanted to give their daughter the childhood that she never had.

Steve walked over to her and hugged her tightly. "I'm so sorry honey I know that you want our daughter to have the childhood that you always dreamed about having and she will I promise. I will do everything I can to keep you both safe. Please forgive me."

A smile grew on Natasha's face then she placed a soft kiss on his lips. "Of course I forgive you."

"Thank you," Steve said gently cupping her face and kissing her again.

---⧗---

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