#post that'll only makes sense to me and like 3 other people

[cyanmountains]

[songmingisthighs]

Fucking RA

Group : ATEEZ

Pairing : RA!seonghwa x afab!reader

Genre : College!AU, smut

Word count : 5.5k

Warning : MDNI, dirty dirty explicit smut; dom!seonghwa, sub!reader, masturbation slight voyeurism (??), unprotected sex (don't do this irl if you don't want your cooch or peepee to clap), creampie and I really don't know what the fuck I wrote

a/n : I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR A LONG ASS WHILE 😭😭 i told @bobateastay about this back then and i decided that maybe posting this before whoretober ends is a good idea. but then i got distracted and shit happened so i said ehh posting this before nutvember ends is fine too. mind you this is an experimental work. as in if this fic receives positive feedback and support, i might make more oneshots like this lmao

You had just arrived back to your co-ed dorms when your friend, Wooyoung suddenly barged into your room with a stupid grin on his face. "Guess what happened," he told you, sounding beyond excited.

As you placed your bag by the side of your bed, you dropped down to sit on your bed. "They're finally getting rid of extra cost for extra cups at the cafeteria?" you guessed first. Wooyoung shook his head. "They... Are changing the campus mascot?" you guessed again which caused Wooyoung to scoff, "Please, that bunny might be crusty, but it's a sex symbol," "Ewh, how?" you cringed but he didn't answer. "Come on, guess again!" he whined whilst walking towards your bed and plopping down on it as if it was his own bed. "Why can't you just tell me?" you pretended to whine back at him. He rolled his eyes at your attempt at showing how annoying he is but he talked anyways, "San finally got caught fucking by Seonghwa hyung so he's being punished as we speak!" He wheezed out happily.

You can only stare as your friend laughed hysterically on your bed. "I don't know how you can be so happy at your friend's misfortune," you sighed. It took Wooyoung a while but he stopped laughing, "It's not that it gave me happiness, but we made a bet that he wouldn't get caught by Seonghwa hyung! Out of all the RAs, he's the only one who has a stick up his butt and maybe seeing San's balls can calm him down," he said as he wiped a stray tear away from his eyes.

The man in question, Park Seonghwa, is one of the people in Wooyoung's close-knit friend group. Not so surprisingly, he's the RA. He's notorious for being a strict person, following the rules and never showing bias even with his friends. He once let Hongjoong spend the night on the lobby sofa because he came back at 3 am from working on his assignment. Sure, it might be affected by the fact that Hongjoong had accidentally kicked Seonghwa's on progress lego death star and ruined them, but the dorm has a rule where they are not allowed in after 12 am so he was just following the rules. Another incident was when Wooyoung created a commotion in the middle of the night for a stupid TikTok trend that cost him a week of helping the janitors clean the dorm toilets.

Not to mention, Park Seonghwa has this ability to bust anyone who's having sex in the dorm. It's like a super sense or something. The co-ed dorm is truly lucky to have him, but the students found it annoying. If his friends can't bribe him, their fate is worse than death when faced with the man.

Despite his strictness, you can't deny that the man is extremely hot and given the chance, you'd wanna get railed by him. The thought, of course, you kept to yourself. If any of your friends found out that you have the hots for Seonghwa, that'll be the end of you. But you realized that you are always affected by Seonghwa without him having to do anything. So to evade accidentally letting anyone know, you simply avoid Seonghwa and kept your personal interactions to a minimum or made sure that you're with other people when he's around. It might sound too much, but the system works.

You cringed at Wooyoung's comment, "I'd be concerned if seeing San's balls calm Seonghwa down," to which Wooyoung teasingly squinted his eyes at you, "That's homophobic," he joked. You only rolled your eyes and threw a pillow at his face, "Get the fuck out Wooyoung, I wanna go take a shower," you tried to shoo Wooyoung away. He raised an eyebrow and instead of moving away, he strikes a ridiculous pose on your bed, "Is that an invitation?" to add to his teasing, he winked at you. Wordlessly, you lift up the same pillow that dropped to his side as a warning that you'll hit him again. In the end, Wooyoung ran out of the room cackling happily after messing with you.

You knew that you had to be quick to secure a shower because, in less than an hour, people will start piling in. Due to a sudden change in your schedule for the week, you had the luxury of being able to show in peace with no one around. Being in a co-ed dorm means that while you don't shower with the males, they are only separated by a wall. And luckily, you've been blessed with the opportunity to shower in a completely empty communal shower room. Call it what you want, you decide it's the universe's way of rewarding you for being good.

So you quickly gather your shower caddy and a change of clothes and head to the bathroom. As you closed your door, you bumped slightly into someone and when you turned around, you saw Seonghwa staring down at you with a smile on his face. "Hey, showering?" he asked, nodding his head to the things in your hands. You looked down to see your panties on full display and you immediately tried to discreetly hide them under your shirt (but you failed). You chuckled awkwardly and nodded, "Yeah... The bathroom should be empty now so I can shower more comfortably," Seonghwa nodded slowly at your answer. Thank God he was gentlemanly enough to not mention your panties or you would've dropped dead at that very moment. "Well, have a good shower!" he waved to you before walking away.

Almost immediately after Seonghwa left you, you dashed to the bathroom that was only two doors down from across your room. You can't lose the chance of showering in peace just because you embarrassed yourself in front of Seonghwa. Sweet, sweet Seonghwa who seems to always have glossy lips, long and delicate fingers, and his damn tongue that darts out like a snake. Without you realizing it, you were clenching your thighs.

You were in such a hurry and so deep in your thoughts that you didn't even realize you hadn't brought your towel to the bathroom. Sadly, you realized this when you're already butt naked.

Cursing yourself, you immediately put on the oversized shirt on your body, neglecting your underwear because you'd only be a minute and your room's so close.

Knowing that you were in such a vulnerable state, you peeked your head first into the hallway, making sure that no one was around. Thankfully, the hallway was very empty, not a single soul can be found. Heck, you were sure not even the ghosts are roaming the floor at that moment. So you got cocky. You walked leisurely into your room, get your towel, and then walked back to the bathroom. On your way, you accidentally dropped your towel on the floor so you mindlessly bent down to get it, not caring that you were very much exposed.

As you walked into the bathroom, however, you managed to miss the person standing at the end of the hallway with wide eyes, frozen in his place.

The shower was refreshing. You took your time scrubbing the ickiness from studying (not that you sweat or anything in class, but you feel the need to rid yourself of studying), and then you washed your hair, carefully massaging the scalp that you hope can transfer to your brain as it has been forced to think hard that day.

Whilst in the shower, you couldn't help but think of your interaction with Park Seonghwa earlier. Your mind drifted off to the way he spoke to you, how his voice is melodious and smooth and thick like honey but still has an edge of command to him. Makes you wonder how he is in bed. You were pretty sure that he's dominant with maybe a daddy kink. How could he not? The man LOOKS like that. You can't really put it into words, but he feels like the embodiment of the words "daddy" and "mine". He might have a baby girl fetish too, but it might just be your wishful thinking.

Mind elsewhere, you didn't even realize that your hand had slipped down between your legs and started caressing your inner thighs. The stimulation made your mind drift from thinking about Seonghwa and his kinks to thinking about Seonghwa and his kinks. You parted your folds to feel your arousal slowly seeping out of you. The feeling made you bite down a small moan. As your fingers began circling your clit, you imagined him naked in front of you, puffs of breath leaving his pink luscious lips as he panted out your name. Your brain imagined how he would sound like when he was putting you in your place, how he wants you to do things to him. And you can only imagine how pretty his cock would look like and how big and girthy it is. You couldn't help but physically shudder at the thought. Your fingers worked quicker, chasing your high. You imagined it was Seonghwa playing with your pussy. When you slip two fingers into your hole, you imagined it to be his fingers. Though, you believed that his fingers are more experienced and it could reach the parts inside you that you'd never reach before. Just the thought of Seonghwa probably able to make you reach an earth-shattering orgasm made your knees buckle and you had to anchor yourself onto the shower wall in front of you. The warm water running down your back drove your brain into believing that Seonghwa was behind you and that was his body heat you're feeling. You began whining to yourself as you felt your climax approaching.

"Seonghwa, oh god- please, please, please, please, please, I wa- I wanna-" you couldn't even finish your sentence before your legs buckle as you finally reached your orgasm. As you slowly catch your breath, you pulled your hand from between your legs slowly. The sight of your fingers covered in your juice from the thought of (what you can only classify as) your friend made you blush. You felt guilty for thinking of him in such a way, you honestly felt like a pervert. Still ashamed, you immediately wash off your hand and continued with your shower with the image of a naked Seonghwa that your brain concocted at the back of your mind.

After (finally) finishing your shower, you came out of the bathroom feeling fresh and a lot more relaxed. Looking at yourself in the mirror outside of the shower stall as you massage your hair with your towel, you saw the way your skin glistened and you honestly feel like a goddess. You wondered, does the effect come because of the relaxing shower you just had or was it because you just had an orgasm from the thought of the hot RA?

As you were walking out of the bathroom area, you were stopped when you bumped into a hard chest. You looked up to see Seonghwa towering over you. His eyes seemed dark and intimidating and he was standing tall. It both terrified but also turned you on.

"Uh... Hi Seonghwa, wha-" you couldn't finish your question because he had already menacingly stepped forward which made you step backwards until your back hit the cold mirror of the bathroom. He caged you by putting his hands on either side of your head, making sure you can't leave. Seeing him look at you with menacing eyes and confidence made you very nervous. Had he heard you moaning? Had he heard you touching yourself while moaning his name?

"Did you know I was standing at the end of the hallway when you bent down, showcasing, or perhaps flaunting your pussy like a bitch in heat?" he asked, tongue darting out from between his lips and you could've sworn your knees buckled at the sight. Or maybe it was his VERY dirty words. "I- I- I-," your brain couldn't seem to be able to function at that moment, you don't know if it was the steam you just inhaled while you were showering or if it was because of Seonghwa. You're willing to bet it was the latter.

Seonghwa saw your state of incoherence and smirked, "Cat got your tongue now? Where was the brazen slut who roamed the hallways without underwear?" he asked as his right hand suddenly drop to caress the length of your arm before it rested on your hip. "Gotta say, I wasn't done looking at it. You were so quick to stand back up and leave, I couldn't get enough image to get myself off," at that, your eyes dropped to his crotch and that's when you finally took notice of his boner. The fabric of his jeans seemed snug and the crease only emphasized the size of his cock.

The sight of his cock straining in his jeans made you clench your thighs together as if to suppress the feeling growing between them, something that Seonghwa noticed immediately. He smirked as he grab your hand carefully and brought it to his crotch, "You feel this? This is all because of you," your knees almost buckled but thankfully he pressed on your body and his lips caught your earlobe, "I hate that a glimpse of your pussy is able to turn me on like this," you moaned out when he bit into your earlobe, your own hand automatically squeezing his clothed cock. "Tsk tsk tsk, naughty girl," he chuckled when he felt you slowly stroking and squeezing him through his pants. "Is this why you've been avoiding me? Because you know you couldn't keep your hands off me if you got the chance to?" he teased. You blushed and pouted, "Don't tease me, it's not funny," you whined. Seeing you like that made Seonghwa coo and leaned down to softly press his lips to you. "Don't worry, baby, I understand because that was always my strategy too," he confessed.

Before you could react, he had pulled you flush against him and his hands immediately went into position; one cupping the back of your head and the other holding one of your legs up so your crotches were touching. You couldn't help but moan into his mouth and began grinding onto him. Seonghwa felt how much you wanted him and he groaned into your mouth. The vibration shot down to your pussy and at that point, you just couldn't take it anymore.

You pushed away from Seonghwa slightly, confusing him. But a smirk grew on his face as he saw you slowly undressing in front of him. You didn't even care that the floor was wet and that it was soaking your clean clothes, you wanted him. One by one, each article of your clothing dropped to the floor and once you stood buck ass naked, Seonghwa immediately followed suit, taking his own shirt off and pants. But before he could pull unbutton his jeans, you dropped down to your knees and began unzipping his pants with your teeth. "Oh, you're dirty," he sighed out, voice slightly trembling from how horny he was.

Once his pants were on the floor, you were about to pull his briefs down but he tugged you up, "I really need to taste you," he breathed out and before you know it, your body had been pressed to the mirror with Seonghwa occupying the space between your legs. He lifted one of your legs up his shoulder and let out a shaky breath at the sight of your pussy in front of him. "It looks even better up close," you gasped when he started slapping your pussy a couple times. When you looked down, he was staring at your reaction with a smug grin on his face. He didn't say anything else but you could sense him getting the satisfaction he needed from the way your body jolted when he slapped your pussy or your thigh, how it squirms when the parted the lips to toy with the slickness there. "Seonghwa," you whimpered out, the sound of your voice was a little above a whisper but that was all you could muster, "Hmm?" Seonghwa replied as he began peppering kisses on your thighs. "Don't tease," you managed to choke out. He chuckled at your desperation, the vibration from his voice shooting straight at your pussy and by god, you think you could've cum just from his voice.

Thankfully, he moved to lick a fat stripe from your entrance to your clit in an antagonizingly slow pace. You've seen his tongue darting out like a snake and by god you never could have imagined that it'd feel so good. Your eyes rolled back and your head fell back to the wall, chest arched in pleasure. As Seonghwa began eating you out to his heart's content, he peered up to look at you and the sight of you in a state of bliss made his cock twitch. A moan left his mouth and the vibration shot through you to the point that your legs trembled. Seonghwa had to repositioned his hands as to not let you fall.

"Seonghwa, Seonghwa, Seonghwa," you called out, it was as if you were possessed and your mind cleared of any other words other than his name. The way you called him only proved to stir him up even more. What was slow, ravishing licks turned to hungry possessive slurps, it was as if he was trying to leave his mark on you and making a point of letting you know your puaay is his. The obnoxious wet sound of him completely devouring your pussy made you clench around nothing.

Just as you were a whiny, moaning mess, Seonghwa too was affected. Unbeknownst to you, he had pulled his cock out of his boxers and slowly stroked himself. He used his precum to lubricate his movements. His own eyes rolled back at the pleasure of tasting you and the stimulation given to his dick and the more he pleasured himself, the more he craved for you.

Seonghwa abruptly detached himself from you, making you whimper in protest. As he came back up to tower over you, you automatically wrapped a leg around his waist and your arms around his neck, seeking his touch. His exposed cock made contact with your pussy, wet from your own juice and his spit and the feeling when he made contact with you was beyond any words in existence. You began grinding onto his cock, begging for him. "Why'd you stop?" you whined, your eyes glossy with tears of frustration that began to gather and cheeks flushed from pleasure. Seeing you in that state made Seonghwa smirk in arrogance, pleased that he was able to put you in such a state. His tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, maybe in hunger from seeing you or to taste the remnants of you left on his lips. With the appearance of his tongue, he pressed his stiff cock on you more. The heaviness of it and the pulsing tip bumping and brushing deliciously against your clit, making your breath hitch and head thrown back. He took that as a sign to dove down and mark your neck with his mouth. Teeth nipping at the sensitive skin, the sound of you so pathetically affected by him only spur him as he growled and the vibration shot from your skin down to your core. You were sure that you were leaking an embarrassing amount down there. But you couldn't care less.

"I need to be inside you," Seonghwa panted, his tongue dragging upwards from your neck to your earlobe where he let his teeth nibble on, "I need to fill you up with me," he begged, voice raspy.

Your pussy throbbed with each drag of his cock. The tip was inching slowly down to your hole at a deliberately slow pace. You hated how he was taking his damn sweet time but the torture felt so good.

Just as he was about to slip his cock in, chatters were heard from outside. Voices grew louder and louder towards the bathroom and before you know it, the front door was slammed open and in came a group of giggling girls. Seonghwa pulled you to the furthest bath stall, only closing the door slightly due to being hurried. He trapped you between his arms, back pressed on the wall as he panted over you.

"...Yeah, and I heard they weren't even trying to be discreet!" one of the girls laughed.

Both your and Seonghwa's eyes widened at that. Had you both been caught by other people?

"Please, San was asking to get caught,"

You recognized the voices as the group of girls who gossip and tattle just to cause drama as soon as your brain can work. It was hard to think straight with Seonghwa's heaving chest right in front of your face and his dick brushing against your hip.

"It was crazy that you reported him to Seonghwa though. If San ever finds out, he'll go ballistic,"

"Oh please, what can he do? He might look like a constipated cat but he's all claws no bite,"

It began to seem like they were never leaving and you couldn't ignore the fact that you're really needy. And that Seonghwa's penis is RIGHT THERE. Plus, you kinda hate the fact that Seonghwa was focusing on those girls instead of you. He might just be worried that he'll get caught, but the horniness in your brain disregarded that fact and choose to do something that can get his attention back to you.

Seonghwa's eyes widened and his head snapped to you when he felt you touching his dick. "Hwa..." you whined, batting your eyelashes at him. "Are you crazy?" he hissed lowly, "There are still people out there! They could catch us if we're too risky," he scolded. But you couldn't care less. You wrapped a leg around his hips and began grinding your naked pussy onto his dick, coating it with your arousal as you wrap your arms around his neck, lips peppering kisses all over his jawline, neck, and cheek. "(y/n)..." he warned but you could tell that his resolve was slowly breaking. You ignored him and kept grinding and kissing him, even moaning out whilst nibbling on his bottom lip to egg him further.

Suddenly the voices of the people outside fade away. Although, it could be because his mind is now fully clouded with lust, focus completely distracted with your naked body pressing onto his own. He could feel how warm your cunt is and he really wanted to know how you'd feel with him stuffing you completely full. "(y/n), you're killing me," he groaned, grabbing onto your shoulder to stop you. But his grip wasn't that strong that it would actually prevent you from moving. "Then do something about it," you smirked against his lips.

That seemed to push him just enough as he suddenly pushed you off of him. Your eyes widened and you thought you did something to piss him off. But he flipped you over, forcing you to brace yourself on the wall as he grip your hips tightly. Before you could say anything, he had spread your legs open and shoved himself in you in one swift thrust. Your body lunged forward from the sudden impact as you let out a yelp. Seonghwa clicked his tongue in disapproval at the yelp you let out and spanked you harshly on the ass. "You be quiet, we're still in a public area so we can't be too loud or else people can hear us," he said as he began thrusting slowly. Despite his warning, you couldn't help but whimper and moaned at the feeling of him stretching you out to accommodate his size. Seonghwa watched you with a satisfied smirk etched on his lips, taking pleasure in not only feeling how tight you were gripping him but also from your reaction, tics and twitches each time he moves, the sounds you make, and the way your back arched. He snickered and chuckled to himself, "But you might like that, huh? Do you like the idea of someone catching us like this? You whimpering and begging for me like a needy bitch while I have my ways with you," he then snaked a hand to your throat and pulled you back so your back hit his chest, "You're a needy, unsatisfiable whore, aren't you? Is that why you were touching yourself, moaning my name in the shower?"

Your eyes widened and immediately you snapped your head to look at him. Your shocked face was met with his cocky, smirking one. "Oh yeah, I heard you. I heard you loud and clear," he then snapped his hips up harshly, making you roll your eyes back from the sudden pleasure. The pace of his hips picked up, "Were you hoping that I'd catch you?" then you felt the hand that was on your hips snaked down between your legs all the while still keeping a firm grip on you, "Because I did catch you in the act. And I almost went in there to punish you for being so reckless after flashing your pussy in the hallway like that. But I thought I should give you the courtesy of finishing first," as he finished his sentence, he delivered a sharp smack directly on your clit. The impact made you gasp and squirm in his tight grip, "S-Seong- Seonghwa," you called out. You felt his lips kissing from the back of your ear down to your neck and back up again.

"You've had your fun, now is my turn,"

That was all the warning you got before he started slamming his cock in and out of you at a rapid pace. Seonghwa's grip on you was so tight that you couldn't even anchor yourself on the wall, it even felt possessive. So you opted to let your hands hold onto Seonghwa's instead; one on his hand that was around your throat as your other on his other one that was on your hips. Seonghwa chuckled at the realization of your attempt to anchor yourself, his lips were pressing onto your skin and the vibration from his voice made you shudder. Your position felt intimate and Seonghwa liking the way you reacted to him made you feel confident. His thrusts never slowed, and his pace was constant and powerful. "Do you feel good?" he teased, knowing just how good you were feeling from the way your body reacted but he wanted to hear it from you. He wanted verbal confirmation that he was making you feel so good. Your back arched and the movement made your hips shift a little just in time for Seonghwa to hit a new spot that made you see stars. "O- oh fuck, shit!" you yelped. Seonghwa's eyes darkened and his dick twitched inside you almost immediately. His grips shifted to secure your position and if you think his thrusts were fast before, his new pace was animalistic.

He pounded into you as if he was releasing all his anger and frustration at you. You couldn't help but feel overwhelmed at the new pleasure he was bringing you, it was almost painful but you didn't want it to stop. "Se- Seonghwa-" you called out as your knees began buckling down. Hearing you, Seonghwa slipped out of you and let go of his grip. You turned around and whined in protest at him, you didn't want the pleasure to stop. He chuckled at your neediness and reached to cup your face, "Don't worry, I'm not stopping. I'm just repositioning so you won't fall." His voice was kind and soft, a stark contrast to the things that he was doing to you before. "Still, you could've warned me," you pouted, making him chuckle and lean down to peck your lips.

It didn't take long for him to press you onto the wall with his own body. He had your left leg as high as it could around his waist to open you up to him as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders. The new position allowed you to feel his whole hard length resting on your stomach as it rubbed against your core. You whimpered as your head fell back onto the wall, exposing your throat to Seonghwa. Seonghwa bit his bottom lip as he saw how you react to the feeling of his cock on your skin alone. "God, you're gonna make me burst," he groaned out, diving down to nip at your exposed skin.

"Seonghwa please, please, please, please I need your cock in me right now," you begged him as your hips ground with his. Thankfully, Seonghwa seemed to share the same urgency with you as he shoved himself back into you. "You felt me once and now you can't get enough of me, huh? Greedy," he teased as he began a slow pace with you. You shook your head at him, "No, more, Seonghwa! More! I want more, I need more!" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow at you and shook his head, "Your wish is my command," he simply said before returning to the previous animalistic pace he had. You were glad he changed positions because in this position, he was able to reach deeper. By now, you were a moaning mess and even with your mouth biting down on Seonghwa's shoulder, your moans were still very loud.

Despite you being loud, Seonghwa couldn't seem to care. At that moment, he was chasing his high and he was getting close. The way your walls hugged him so snugly and the way your mouth kept softly chanting out his name was turning his brain to mush. "S- shit (y/n) I'm close," Seonghwa grunted. You nodded quickly as you pulled back to look at him, "Me too, God- I- I- Seonghwa," your bottom lip quivered from the pleasure. Seonghwa captured your lips with him in a steamy kiss as he continued pleasuring you and him. His hard cock rubbed your insides so deliciously while Seonghwa's hips allowed some friction on your clit, stimulating you even more. You might not sleep around much but it was obvious that Seonghwa is the best there is. Seonghwa on the other hand felt like he was about to burst at any second. Your core was dripping so much that it allowed him to move inside you with ease. He knew that this was wrong, fucking in the co-ed dorm, but he couldn't deny the thrill and excitement of doing it. Though he knew that his excitement was not just because of the notion of doing something wrong, but it was because he was doing it with you.

Seonghwa pulled away from your lips reluctantly to draw another breath. With foreheads rested against each other, he stared into your eyes. "I'm g-gonna cum, where-" he didn't even get to finish his sentence before you cut him off, "Inside me Seonghwa, please. Make me yours." Your words made Seonghwa's cock twitch. He had never felt more aroused by anything other than you telling him to claim you as his. Your words affected him so much that he couldn't even warn you before spilling his cum inside, painting your walls white. The warmth of him filling you made you moan loudly as it triggered your own release. Your thighs shook and your left leg tightened around Seonghwa's hips.

Seonghwa watched you come down from your high slowly with chest heaving and eyes glazing. His fingers carded through your hair, comforting you as you calm down. You couldn't help but smile at his thoughtful gesture. You might not know if he used you just because you're available and he just wanted a one-time thing with you, but he definitely knew how to treat a girl right.

"You okay?" he asked, concerned. You nodded at him as you pushed his hair back with your fingers, "I feel great, honestly." he chuckled at your words but nodded in understanding, "Great because I do too." You rolled your eyes playfully at him and pushed his shoulder slightly, "Now you're just copying me."

Before he could answer you though, someone coughed, making both of your eyes widen in horror. Neither of you remembered to lock or even pay attention to the stall's door.

"Are you hypocrites done?"

Seonghwa snapped his head back but didn't move his body to cover yours. He could only grin awkwardly at the man standing in front of the stall. "Hey San, what are you doing in the women's bath area?"

Suddenly, another head popped out from the sides, making you yelp and duck to hide in Seonghwa's arms.

"Well lookie here. I guessed you didn't accept my shower invitation because you already have a shower buddy, huh, (y/n)?" Wooyoung snickered.

Now, how the fuck are you going to deal with this?

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[honeytonedhottie]

Dear honey ,I love you blog it’s so cute and helps me with my health.

Three questions please

how to stop felling insecure ?

How to have a healthy lifestyle, physically, ‘mentally emotionally and spiritually?

YouTubes and Podcast you recommend

thank you xoxo🌸

thank u so much for the amazing questions, also, THE VISION BOARD IS SO GOOD <33333 thank u for loving my blog that means the world to me. now unto ur three AMAZING questions;

INSECURITY - when it comes to insecurity there's a vast amount of places that u can start but the first place to start is your mouth. what comes out of ur mouth is a reflection of who you are. ppl that are smart will build opinions on u based on what comes out of ur mouth. ur words have POWER, dont let ur negative words become ur reality. speak positively on urself, STOP the negative self talk, dont make urself the topic of jokes and dont ever EVER speak negatively about yourself. bcuz even if ur like "its just a joke" you will subconsciously start to believe it.

stop comparing urself to others, the only competition is between the person u are today, and the person that u were yesterday. practicing self care is so good for ur mental and physical well-being. it can give u a sense of confidence, but ultimately the confidence that'll last will come from within u and that will RADIATE. practice saying no and put urself first ALWAYS. (self concept work is also super helpful when ur building ur confidence)

i want u to get to the root cause of ur insecurity, and why u feel that way. for some ppl they are insecure bcuz of the way that they look, or the way that they talk, the way people perceive them, it could be a LOT of different factors that contribute to why u feel insecure but i just want u to identify them. then DISMANTLE them. flip the narrative. for example if ur insecure about ur looks; you'd take a hard look at urself in the mirror and i can GUARANTEE that you are BEYOND BEAUTIFUL. start looking for things that u love and like and MAXIMIZE on those things. tell urself constantly that ur gorgeous and it'll become a belief. if ur surrounded by ppl who constantly belittle u then u need a new circle of ppl to surround urself with.

(ik that this is SUCH a long paragraph but i can elaborate on it further in a separate post if its something that u wanna discuss more)

HEALTHY LIFESTYLE - im separating this into parts

physically - start moving. it could be doing pilates or yoga, or literally just taking a walk but u should just be MOVING. fueling ur body with nutritious foods and staying hydrated. taking care of ur health by eating balanced meals and snacks throughout the day. listening to ur cravings, taking care of ur skin and ur hair and ur nails etc etc. taking care of urself from head to toe and from the inside out. once u prioritize ur physical and like, self care you will look and feel SO GOOD

mentally - listen to podcasts and consume content that makes u feel good about urself and pushes u to become the best version of urself. sleep can greatly improve ur mental state, stimulate ur mind and cultivate ur passions and talents. educate urself (knowledge is powerful) about anything that interests u and the world around u. PAY ATTENTION IN SCHOOL (if ur in school) and constantly stay in a place of learning. surround urself with people who are diverse and whose experiences and worldviews are different from yours so that u can learn from others.

emotionally - start journaling, when u feel emotions, identify them and take care of urself accordingly, meditate and become more mindful of urself and those around u. if u have the means, invest in therapy, however if u dont, start journalling, doing shadow work, and we have SO MANY resources to start our healing journeys. like youtube for example. take advantage of that <3

spiritually - if ur talking about religious spirituality, then read ur religious texts and study that so that u can grow and get deeper in ur faith. start making time to pray as many times a day as u should, and focusing on building a relationship with the god/gods that u believe in. watching content from people who share the same faith and religion as you can help u become more confident in ur religious identity AS YOU SHOULD BE <333 if ur not talking about religious spirituality..

start meditating and take part in other mindful practices, avoid negative people and negative energies, connect with nature and the world around u, cultivate gratitude, if u feel like u should u should def invest in some crystals and things of that nature. i dont know much about spirituality in this specific sense so please feel free to teach or add onto this in the comments so that we can all learn from each other <3

YOUTUBES AND PODCAST RECCS -

the wizard liz

manifestelle

manifest it finesse it

simone squared

persephones mind

shera seven

simone simmo

THIS WAS SO LONG BUT I HOPE THAT IT WAS HELPFUL TO YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE <3333333333 i will definitely elaborate on these topics in the future 💗

[perpetualexistence]

An Appetite for Knowledge: An Intellect Devourer Noah AU

So, based on me watching clips of Baldur's Gate 3 and @total-drama-brainrot's false hydra Heather post, I couldn't help but think to myself: 'Why should Heather be the only one who's a DnD monster?'

Hence me making an AU where Noah's an Intellect Devourer. If you know what it is, you know EXACTLY what kind of horrifying implications that has. Though the name itself is also an explanation of what one is.

I've made a whole horror one-shot showing those implications that you can check out here! I highly encourage you to read it first for maximum suspense before reading on where I fully explain what Noah's deal is.

Also, the first pic you're going to see if of a brain with legs so keep that in mind for the kind of tone this AU's going for.

Noah's one of these little scamps:

Intellect devourers are squishy little guys whose whole purpose is someone unlucky enough to cross their path, use psychic attacks to paralyze them, and then consume their mind and memories. They replace the mind they just ate with themselves, and now have a body to use to lure people towards mind flayers.

They can crawl out of their new bodies at will, or else be forced into leaving through certain protection spells. But there is no getting the original person/brain back short of performing a literal miracle.

Typically they work on orders from the hivemind they're a part of. Without orders, they'll be skittering about either following the last thing they were told or keeping themselves alive.

That's the situation that a certain baby intellect devourer finds itself in. The hivemind that it was once a part of got destroyed by an adventuring party. But they failed to do it properly. Rather than killing everything connected to the hivemind at once, they only severed the connection from the main brain to everything else. They had no way of knowing it at the time, so everyone thought the problem was dealt with.

Leaving strays such as this creature without a name to fend for themselves. It's smaller than the rest, and knows staying with a group will make it more likely to be noticed by adventurers that want it dead, so it scampers off on its own to find a body it can safely hide in.

It finds a small child all alone on his way to wizard school, takes over, and names himself Noah. He was lucky to find himself a child genius that's effectively a 3rd level wizard. He's got access to a spell known as Nystul's Magic Aura that lets him still appear as human through magical means unless someone really tries pressing him with magic. Eventually, he'll also get access to Nondetection that'll prevent others from targeting him with spells to find out what he is without first dismantling Nondetection.

Combine the fact that this is the kid's first time in a new country, nobody has any context of knowing that Noah's acting weird. He's hard to detect, and he'll only get worse as he learns more magic.

Luckily for everyone, Noah's lazy thanks to how spoiled he's been with the body he's managed to snag. He also isn't required to kill anyone thanks to a hivemind.

He's fairly content with only snagging as much intelligence with others as he needs. After all, if dead bodies start piling up in a wizard school, life is going to be a lot more difficult for him.

He just needs to be within 10 feet of a person in order to feed from them. He can unleash a mild psychic attack to steal some of their knowledge, but for them it feels more like a headache. His favorite feeding ground is the library. It's easy enough to believe studying and stress are causing a headache and making it hard to remember something rather than an intellect devourer feeding on the knowledge you're trying to learn.

Plus, Noah rather likes reading. Before he got into his human body he couldn't see in the traditional sense. He could only sense things around him, and detect anything with intelligence from 300 ft away. Any knowledge he got had to be stolen. So now that he has the opportunity to learn that doesn't require him putting the work of stealing it from someone else? Of course he's going to take it.

He is capable of a more powerful psychic attack to incapacitate someone, but that's harder to hide. He never plans to use that unless his life was seriously in danger.

He also surrounds himself with people who are physically stronger than him to make up for his own lack of physical prowess. Hence him sticking with Owen, Izzy, and Eva. The wizard school he goes to is either really near or partners with other nearby adventuring school, which is how he meets them.

Does he truly cares about them, or does he just keep them around because they're useful to him?

It's hard to say. He was also the kid-equivalent of an Intellect Devourer when he possessed his first human, who also happened to be a kid. He was cut off from a collective before he was fully formed., Most of his personality is heavily influenced on the kid.

He actually understands what empathy and morality are, which are more than what most of his kind can say. But they make him uncomfortable, so he's much happier to just not think about it. He just knows he likes having his chubby buddy and Team E-scope around, and he's go no reason to feed on them. The only one smart enough for his palette is Izzy, and she's tinged with crazy so he's Not Touching That.

He won't feed on Alejandro either, but that's for a different reason. Alejandro's certainly smart enough to be on the menu. It makes it even tastier that he's got cunning. He's smart enough to figure out that Noah's more powerful than he looks/is hiding something. He's dangerous to be near, but Noah still will.

After all, Noah's got to have a backup plan if anything happens to his current host. He'd lose his ability to cast spells like before, but he'd gain a stronger body, and one with money to boot.

Still, Alejandro's nice company for now, so there's no need to be hasty with the emergency murder plan.

Noah's eventual plan is to be a part of the adventuring party that Owen and Izzy are trying to create with him, Eva, and Alejandro (and possibly Tyler because Team CIRRRRH shall live forevermore in my AUs).

He can travel around, sampling knowledge from across the continent. When they do need to fight monsters for the sake of 'doing good' and getting paid, everyone else can take the hits while he casts magic from the back while remaining unharmed. No one will ever be the wiser.

This isn't going to go exactly how Noah wants because somehow everyone else is going to find out about Noah being an Intellect Devourer.

I'm currently torn between two ways of it happening: Someone is casting Protection from Evil and Good on the whole party and Noah isn't able to get out of it, forcing him out of his body.

Or they get caught by something else (possibly mind flayers), and are put in separate cells. Noah scurries out of his human body in order to get out, consume and possess one of their captors to release them all, and then gets caught by the others when he tries to scurry back into his body.

Either way, it's not going to be fun for everyone else to grapple with the fact that the scrawny little nerd they know has killed, and has no problem with killing again if he thinks he needs to.

[clownsalot]

yea ok i know im not the only one voicing concerns over amane getting forgiven this trial but. i am actually so worried for what'll happen if she is so im going to talk about it anyway

longish post?? i think?? so uh. read more

- on the one hand, the one everyone talks about: shidou's physical safety. this one's obvious

you can argue that amane is 12 and shidou is a grown ass man more than twice her age but also;;;; a lot of theories ive seen of amane also include her victim being an adult. 12 years old or not, there's a lot you can do with a weapon when you catch someone off guard, and shidou isn't exactly fit to fight someone off, even a 12 year old on adrenaline. also given how he's working himself to the bone keeping mahiru alive and taking care of fuuta he's probably not going to be all that alert to his surroundings either. though with kazui once again innocent leaning, hopefully this concern can be set aside for a while.

- on the other hand, what worries me more (ie making me shit my fucking pants in fear) is that there's another real threat amane poses that can't be solved by kazui being forgiven: amane is trying to convert fuuta.

(from fuuta's 2023 birthday timeline on the wiki)

shidou's safety can be accounted for, but whay about fuuta? fuuta, whose mental health is going to shit and at an all time low; fuuta, desperate for anything that'll give him a sense of safety and security? right now fuuta is a textbook example of someone vulnerable to cult indoctrination, which amane will happily provide. there was also @vampuppyy 's post (that i agree with and also makes other good points) that mentioned this could be compounded if amane is forgiven as well. hell, fuuta's second trial voice drama is even named BAPTISM OF FIRE.

if amane is forgiven this trial, someone is definitely getting hurt.

- the threat amane poses aside however, i do have my own reasons for voting her guilty this round beyond her potential to hurt someone. and it's that i don't think forgiving her is actually going to do her much good??

(amane's second trial voiceline, also from the wiki)

she says she'll forgive us for trial 1 and to think about our verdict again carefully with the implication that she expects to be forgiven this round. i think forgiving her this round will do nothing but just tell her 'we were wrong to not forgive you the first time, your cult beliefs are right actually. thank you for your generosity, please take this as an apology for our mistake' which does nothing but reinforce her belief that she's righteous in her cult mentality, especially if we're right about her murder being partially motivated by her believing her victim also broke one of the cult's tenets. she's going to turn out like muu singing about how 'it's not my fault' won't she?

i get why people are forgiving her this round and im not saying it's wrong (honestly good for amane for killing her abuser!! you go girl slay), but imo it's not the best decision to make right now given the circumstances. of course milgram's strict innocent/guilty system doesn't allow for any kind of nuance, and i do realize a guilty won't be good for her either, but i think doubling down on the guilty and not forgiving her this round might be the better decision in the long run. if we still want to forgive her, we always have trial 3 to do it anyway

(honestly i think if we wanted to forgive her it should've been in trial 1—but there's nothing we can do about that anymore, all we can do now is play damage reduction trying to fix what went wrong after the trial 1 results)

so uh. yeah that's all the reasons im guilty voting amane this trial 👍 i hope this was coherent

[splish--splash--minecraft]

Scarian snippet - Pizza AU

I wasn't expecting to get that much attention on the scarian bit I wrote earlier, so I've decided to post some more writing! This one is for an au I've been working on recently that I have dubbed the pizza AU. That'll make sense in a moment.

It's a college/university AU, though that doesn't come into play all that much until later. It's also an AU in which Grian works at a pizza place and Scar comes in every week with the most ridiculous and outlandish orders. Hence the AU name.

I've no clue when it'll be finished as I can be a slow writer at the best of times (and seeing as I did recently get a job - at a pizza place! - this is not the best of times as it's taking up a lot of my free time) and since this will also be a one-shot (I rarely trust myself with multichap fics), it might be a while. I'll try to keep y'all updated though. So, y'know, if you're interested...maybe drop a follow? Thanks <3

Anyway, without further ado...the snippet. That is almost 1k words. Oops?

Grian sighed when the phone rang. He knew, without looking, that it was 1AM. 

It only rang for a moment before Grian picked it up, just to get this over with. “Hello, this is Pizza Paraslice, what can I get for you?”

“Hi! Okay, can I get a large with parmesan garlic sauce, mozzarella and asiago cheese, jalapenos and diced boneless chicken, with a ranch drizzle? Thanks!”

Grian’s eyes closed as he let out a sigh as he took in the order. “Mmhm. Name for your order?”

“Scar!”

“And would you like pickup or delivery?

“Pickup, please!”

Grian didn’t know why he had to bother with asking Scar all that, since It was the same every time. Only the order was different. His boss had insisted though, so.

“Alright, that’ll be $21.59. How would you -”

“I’ll pay with cash there.”

“Okay, it’ll be ready in about 15 minutes.”

“See you then!”

The line clicked and Grian allowed himself to take a deep breath before looking down at the order he had entered into the POS system. Great. Another weird order from Scar.

He glanced at the one other person working at this time, rolling his eyes as they continued to stare at their phone even as the order counter dinged by the makeline, telling them they had an order. He dragged himself over to it and set about making the order.

Honestly, it wasn’t as weird as some of his other orders. The sauce was a little odd, sure, as was the ranch drizzle at the end, but he’d seen far weirder combinations, all courtesy of Scar. 

He let out a breath of relief once the pizza was in the oven and he could wash the jalapenos juices from his hands. He relaxed for a second, eyeing the board to make sure no more orders had come in. Honestly, Grian had no idea why Scar bothered calling every time. Most orders they got came in online, or a few people would even order there. But Scar always called for whatever reason. Grian never asked.

The door opened right as Grian got the pizza out of the oven to cut it. He didn’t have to look to know it was Scar. They didn’t have any other orders available for pickup, and very few people came in to order at this time of night. Plus, the sound of his cane against the tiled floors was sign enough that it was him.

Still, he peeked around the cutting table to see Scar looking around before smiling at him. “There’s my favorite person!”

Grian rolled his eyes with a huff. He always said that every time he came in. “I’m almost done with your pizza, give me a sec.”

“No worries, take your time. It’ll be amayzin anyway.”

Grian snorted. He wasn’t so sure about that, but he didn’t say anything, just dutifully cut the pizza and added the ranch drizzle. He closed the pizza box and walked around the cut table to where Scar stood behind the counter, cash in hand and wide grin directed his way.

Grian did his best to ignore him as he rang Scar up, taking the cash - in perfect amount, so he didn’t even need to get any change. With that done, he handed the pizza to Scar. “Anything else I can get you?”

“Your number?” Scar asked, hopeful.

Grian rolled his eyes again, though he couldn’t stop the slight flush from creeping up his cheeks and the barest hint of a smile that tugged at his lips.

“Maybe next time,” he said, just as he did every time.

Scar clicked his tongue. “I thought for sure this would be the week. Oh well. See you next week!”

He turned around and left, holding the pizza with one hand and his cane in the other as he backed out of the door, waving the end of his cane at Grian briefly before he disappeared out of sight.

“Please just ask him out already. Or give him your number, at least.”

Grian jumped as his co-worker appeared behind him. He pressed his hand to his chest and let out a breath. “God, don’t scare me like that!”

“Ask the poor guy out then!”

“And why would I do that?” Grian asked, raising his eyebrow.

His co-worker groaned. “Dude, anyone can tell you’ve got a crush on him. And he has one on you! Every week he orders a pizza and then asks for your number. Are you ever actually going to give him it?”

“I definitely do not have a crush on him. He makes my Wednesdays miserable. You think I like making his stupid pizzas? And of course, you never help.”

“Eh, you got it. You do just fine with making pizzas for your not-crush.”

Grian groaned, thankful when they got some orders and he could go and make them instead of continuing this conversation he wanted nothing to do with.

He absolutely did not have a crush on Scar. In fact, he could barely stand the guy. He ordered the weirdest pizzas, and some of them were incredibly complicated. He made Grian dread the Wednesday shifts and had tried multiple times to get out of them, but they didn't have enough people that could work at that time so he was stuck with the shift.

And, sure, his face always heated up when Scar smiled at him and flirted with him, and he often couldn't prevent a small smile at it, but that didn't mean anything. Each time, he told himself it would finally be the time he told Scar to stop. 

He still hadn't, but it still didn't mean anything! He just…liked the attention, that's all. And sure, he flirted back a bit, but it was basically routine by this point.

He did not have a crush on Scar.

He didn't.

[goodluckclove]

I think the thing that stops me from writing is myself. I need to talk about my projects to stay interested but the second I tell anyone about my ideas, the interest is gone and my inner dialogue starts tearing my books apart. So then I end up in the plotting stage forever, or at chapter 3 with no clue how to progress and no interest to start. Doesn’t matter how long I work on the project for, it still happens. I end up in my own head about my projects and it sucks

Hi King. It's late Sunday night for me here in Portland - Wife has started what they call their "pre-sleep" ritual, which they claim is very useful for their specific type of ADHD wiring. I'll be handing off control of my blog to one of my novel's protagonists for the entirety of tomorrow (good luck, Edgar), but I've been thinking about your question since you sent it and I wanted to make a point to answer before dedicating my whole Monday to long-form roleplaying.

So people post about their projects online and it's cool. They talk about what they're working on, and sometimes they get loads of accolades and encouragement from well-meaning strangers online. It's very neat and it's very good, but at it's core it's not really something a writer needs at that stage. In fact, I think there's an argument towards saying that too much involvement in that culture can be actively toxic to a new writer's craft.

This may sound hypocritical coming from someone who's essentially liveblogging their quartet as they write it. But keep in mind that Migration Patterns is my fourteenth book. And in the fifteen years I've been writing I really wouldn't tell people about an idea until I was at least 10k words in. Maybe more. Maybe never. I have entire novels that no one in my life, not even my wife, know anything about.

It's fine. it's lonely and it's fine, and that's kind of the thing about our line of work in my thought.

An idea is a fragile thing. It's like an egg that needs to be supported on some kind of foundation to be displayed properly and safely, and for some people it takes a long time to build that foundation. I run a writing blog where I almost exclusively talk about writing and to writers, but in my Real Human Life I do not act like that.

I think I have two close people in my life that I bounce ideas off of the most - my wife and my best friend - and that's only because they're most likely to be nearby while I'm actively writing. It's helpful to talk out ideas. But what are you looking for when you talk about your ideas? Because people can't praise or critique what you write in any meaningful way until you actually write it, which I could see leading to frustration and ultimately losing interest in the work.

Here are some of the things I say when I talk about my writing:

"Hey give me a name for a person/place/thing."

"How do you think I could get out of [insert plot point here]?"

And that's pretty much it.

A writing blog does help if you don't post expecting feedback. I will screenshot excerpts I'm very proud of and post it with some commentary, something I've never had the courage to do until now, and it feels good just to hang in on the proverbial fridge. Most people just like it and move on, because they don't have the full context of the situation. But just seeing someone liked it is cool.

Ultimately though, if my entire audience despawned right now - well, I'd have some grander existential issues to worry about. But I'd still write. I'd talk about my writing to myself and to my characters. I'd go back to imagining what I'd say in interviews that'll likely never happen. All of that is fun and free and cops hate it.

Maybe the interest leaves when you talk to other people about your projects because they can't see it the way you can. That's not their fault, and it's not your fault. It certainly doesn't mean it's a bad idea. Overall, as much as I enjoy the sense of community here on Writeblr, we should definitely acknowledge the point in which it actually works against us and our craft.

Once you write enough of a project, assuming you've developed a productive work strategy, you will discover motivations to be interested. You are a perpetual motion machine of artistic development and no one else will build a track for you to follow that makes more sense than your own.

Hope that helps, friend.

[gren-arlio]

Puyo Fans are in a drought. I'm here to give a bottle of water to them all. Or at least, I plan to.

All jokes aside, hello there. First time poster here, but I want to explain myself for that header. Currently, as a mere Puyo fan myself, we're going through a real bad drought, like we're rhinos who haven't seen rain in a decade. Besides alts from Quest, we really don't get much things nowadays when it comes to stuff, and a majority of the Madou Monogatari games are sadly not translated, besides Madou Saturn and maybe 2 other games I'm forgetting. Even the Puyo Nexus is running a little dry with that sort of stuff.

So why don't we change that?

I have a very specific game in mind: Waku Waku Puyo Puyo Dungeon. From my findings from both online and on this site, there doesn't seem to be a translation for the entire game. For small sections? Yeah, I've seen them, and I'm happy they're there, but we can do more than sections. How about...a majority of the main story?

...At least for Schezo's route.

For those unaware, the game has 3 stories, the protagonist varying, but it's the ARS Trio from COMPILE, Arle, Rulue, and Schezo.

AKA: These Guys.

And I plan to translate a good amount of Schezo's story for the time being. This is mostly for the main story, as mentioned before, and some stuff mentioned in the in-game Bulletin Board. If you wish to try to do the other two, by all means, go ahead, the more the merrier. I've done some bits already before even making this post, and some parts range from Schezo calling Rulue a bitch to him giving Serilly therapy (Trust me, it makes sense.) It's a chaotic ride and I'm all for it.

So how will I do this, you may ask.

Unfortunately, I have a severe case of I'm Broke As Hell and cannot afford a SEGA Saturn, let alone the game itself. Thankfully, I do have what other people gave back then, especially on more niche YouTube Videos, Niconico, list goes on. If someone has the game and is willing to help just a bit, please let me know! Any help would be greatly appreciated.

This is one of the videos in question. It's the opening to Schezo's story, probably the best story out of the main ARS Trio. It shows off a bit of the gameplay as well as bits of story. As of posting this, I'm only about halfway through the video itself (When you fight Skeleton-T) and trust me, doing this takes a lot of time.

I also just want to mention that Schezo swears. A lot, actually, no one is truly safe from his way of words. On one hand, if we want to stick to the kid friendly Puyo stuff we're mostly used to, I could edit them out...But on the other, he does so often that I just want to keep them to show how funny he is with this stuff.

A few more things before I conclude:

I do NOT speak fluent Japanese, at most I can do a few phrases. This is mostly being done with stuff like translators, context clues, and some help from friends.

Translating takes time. A lot of it. Please do not expect me to do full videos within a day or two. These can take as long as a few weeks, or about as short as three or so days. Also, I have school, so there's that. However, if you wish me to translate a few bits of lines to see what they mean, that's fine!

Some of the translations might not be correct, and if they don't seem correct, or flat out aren't, let me know! I won't take any offense to it and it'll help out a lot!

Credit is something that might get brought up. If someone uses this to make let's say...a English Patch, then yeah, I'd like to be noted for that. Otherwise, it's for everyone.

If you wish to do your own translation, or do another storyline, by all means, go ahead! I'd love to see what others see, and it'll make the workload a lot better for everyone.

With that, that'll be all. Thanks for reading!

[paintingformike]

I got really curious after one of your latest posts about your thoughts on bi mike vs gay mike. what's your main evidence for bi mike?

personally, I was a bi mike truther until I started my latest st rewatch a week ago. I always thought that mike had a genuine crush on el in season 1 but this time I noticed that mike didn't really show any romantic interest in her until lucas pointed out that mike likes el. before that, it was just mike being his friendly and caring self. and idk, every romantic moment between them seemed so forced to me, like mike was just doing what he thought he was supposed to be doing. and yeah, that whole dialogue before their first kiss was also weird. I haven't started season 3 yet, so maybe there will be some moments that'll show that mike is bi but for now, my only evidence of him being bi is byler/rockie parallels because vickie is clearly meant to be bi. I'm just so confused now, honestly, because I was so sure that mike is bi before this rewatch lol

sorry if some of these sentences don't make sense, my English is really bad...

nooo anon dont worry about your english, you’re perfectly understandable! to me personally i do see them portraying mike having genuine (but shallow) feelings for el via the inherently romantic tropes applied to them in s1-s2 (getting interrupted, the tiny bit of tension between them and all that), but that’s it, and the way i interpreted the painting plotline also makes me believe he had a shallow infatuation for el, but i’ve read a lot of gay mike analyses that have made me reconsider my stances on his sexuality and the byler storyline.

the byler/rockie parallels are also strong evidence of bi mike (and byler getting together in general) but it’s not really enough for me to discount the possibility of gay mike in the show considering a lot of points that make me believe they might go that route are narrative choices for his character. one example being the way he only showed interest in el after it was pointed out to him by other people, like you said, the stark contrast in how they make lucas and dustin show interest in multiple women but little to nothing from mike in comparison, they’ve also made him mirror will in this aspect (the way they both react to max in s2 compared to lucas and dustin).

season 3 was the most “i’m just doing what i think i’m supposed to do in typical het romantic relationships” season for mike because...he really was just being coached around by lucas constantly, looking totally clueless without him and most of his actions just him trying to adhere to societal expectations like getting his girlfriend a gift (?) and just. not initiating anything himself out of genuine love for el, he really needed a third party to hold his hand through navigating his relationship 😭 also the byler fight in s4 and how he said “thats because shes my girlfriend will” emphasizing the status of their relationship instead of saying something more genuine like el being important to him so obviously he’d write her letters...the majority of it was just him putting up a performance.

tbh he can still be bi and conforming to whats considered “normal” and thats what i was always firm in, but it can also be that they’re trying to portray how he really has no clue how to act when it comes to girls because he just feels no attraction to them. like the reason he needs his hand held through his relationship with a girl is because as a gay man it was never meant for him from the start, and the reason he can’t tell her he loves her is because...it was always impossible for him to feel anything towards her. he didn’t realize it at first (he wasn’t even sure of the difference between platonic and romantic before they kissed) but by s4 he was fully aware he only felt platonic care for el and was scared of losing her if he was honest about his true feelings (which explains the desert heart to heart he had with will.)

the duffers (or any other person from the writer’s room) have watched shows that portrayed internalized homophobia and characters that dated women while being cloested gay men, such as dawson’s creek and eyewitness, so that’s another factor that makes me think they could be writing mike to be gay because they’ve already gotten ideas of what it’s like, they’re not completely clueless. anyway this got too long (sorry anon i got carried away asjdksj) but the bottomline is i think both bi and gay mike have equal chances of being canon and are strong contenders in their own right, and while i used to think they wouldn’t explicitly confirm his sexuality, i realized they basically have to because they also need to clarify in the plot the true nature of mike’s feelings for el throughout their relationship and if he ever really loved her or felt attracted to her, it goes hand in hand with his sexuality arc and they can’t really just brush this over without leaving some kind of gaping hole in the storyline. mike’s gonna have to express how he really felt about el throughout their relationship so yeah...those are my two cents 👍

[baldursgatethoughts]

Since my first play through of Baldur's Gate 3 I have been reading reddit threads, forum posts, facebook and twitter posts and discussions on the ending of the game.

My thoughts also went to Mass Effect 3 when the absolute lack of closure and meaningful companion ending made me spiral into a dark hole. The choices are broader here, but the emptiness much the same, especially if you didn't go an evil route or did it for the memes. If you cared about your companions and your romance you will get close to nothing at the end. This isn't about not liking the impact of your own choices (even if I see many people affected by the lack of understanding that their choices would have impact on the ending and that you can't both betray everyone, not do sidequests, nor read or listen to dialogues and have happy endings for characters) it's about the game not even showing you those impacts a lot of the time.

We need

Extended dialogues with our companions after the final battle.

If we opt for that celebration they talk about we need to see it, and we need to be able to talk to those who survived.

Your companions shouldn't comment that we'll never see Astarion again if he burns in the sun, especially if he's romanced, wtf.

You should get a final romance scene with your romance worthy of its name, not just three lines and "that'll be fun".

Gale shouldn't show up if dead.

The scene before the final fight is also very strange and doesn't at all convey the gravity in that they seem to have created it as the last time to talk to your companions. The room is overcrowded and the conversations extremely lackluster. We need to make this kiss count because it might be out last, let's give each other a peck on the cheek. Goddamnit Larian!

You need to see the impact of your choices, know how the people who's lives you've changed were affected, and most important of all, get emotional closure with a group of characters you've spent 100-400 hours with.

What do you think?

Did you go a non-evil route and care for the NPC:s of the world and what was your experience of the cutscenes after the final battle?

[prettyboykatsuki]

You. I don't know what you eat or what your hand and mind is made of but let me tell you your "How to be a dog" gojo fic literally had me in tears of joy. I found it randomly one day and my dumbass forgot to like the fic and I almost cried cuz I couldn't find it ANYWHERE no matter how much I searched. I'm not exaggerating this when I say it's a fucking masterpiece. I want it tattooed in my mind, I want to print it out and glued it on all over my walls. Please don't ever delete the story and never, ever stop writing. I am in awed at how much talent a person can have. The way you wrote gojo is so intoxicating and phenomenal like holy shit you need to write for him more. How did you do it? Literally how? God you're so good at writing I am at a loss for words. If you don't mind, I have a few requests and questions, first, what is your writing process? How did you get so good? Second, can you do character analysis on gojo? I wanna read your thoughts about him so bad. Third, can you give me writing tips on 1. How to create dialogues that'll makes sense coming out of the character's mouth, 2. how to make a character not go ooc, and 3. description?

P.s: Thank you so much for creating "How to be a dog" 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 (I'm still not done talking about this)

im going to CRY ANON HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

first of all im glad you were able to find me again!!!!! i only learned recently that people used likes to store fics afdkjsdkj but it makes me very happy that you enjoyed it enough to do that!!!!!! second of all thank you for your kind words... a masterpiece!!! u want to turn it in to wallpaper i am so so so honred by that thank you.

dw i wont ever delete any of my fics. im too stubborn and leaving them up for the most part is like important to me. im so glad u liked gojo in it!! that sick freak. i spent a lot of time crafting his insane behaviors like a blacksmith at a forge dskjfshdkj

my writing process is just me being deranged tbh!! i do most of my best writing in my kitchen when im listening to music and idea pops up and i start expanding on it!! other than that im not much of a planner so i just play it by ear dfvkjfd i never outline or anything

as for my thoughts on gojo i have a post about it right here!!

and for dialogue my biggest piece of advice is watch the anime, read the manga, and listen to dub to get a feel for how a character talks. how do they shift tone towards the end of a sentence? how long do they talk? are they word or concise? do they use big and complicated words or are they clear but simple? etc etc.

and once you get a feel for their speech patters, READ YOUR DIALOGUE OUT LOUD LIKE YOU WERE ACTING IT!! i think a lot of dialogue that sounds stiff is just bc it sounds Written but dialogue should sound like it's inteded to be Voiced. i hope that helps

(AND THANK U AGAIN FOR UR ASK...MEANS A LOT!!!)

[lucidmagic]

I posted 4,768 times in 2022

221 posts created (5%)

4,547 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

wishful-thinkment

@bearlybella

fluent-in-lesbianism

@redoqs

@lelianasbitch

I tagged 549 of my posts in 2022

#my asks - 118 posts

#asks - 115 posts

#donna beneviento - 101 posts

#my fic - 96 posts

#phyto's guide - 83 posts

#donna beneviento x reader - 74 posts

#lucidmagic asks - 71 posts

#anon asks - 61 posts

#critical role - 59 posts

#lucidmagic - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i have no preference but considering the lack of complexity most people write the family dynamic with i’m definitely intrigued by writing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Donna, when you come home from eating at Olive Garden:

460 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#4

Modern AU BusinessWoman!Alcina x PersonalAssistant!Reader (part 1?)

Not me getting another AU idea while I need to finish Phyto's Guide and wanting to expand on my Werewolf/Assistant!Reader story for Alcina 😭😭😭

(Please, don’t steal any of this.)

But anyway. . . here's Modern!AU BusinessWoman!Alcina x PersonalAssistant!Reader that I need to get out of my head and share:

Alcina Dimitrescu is the CEO/president/top dog of some sort of business (wine? real estate? record label? IDK I don't do business people), and has been so for the past decade or so.

She's a mixture of Miranda Presley (The Devil Wears Prada) and Cat Grant (Supergirl)-- some would say an absolute demon, others would say a big ole bitch, but there's no doubt she gets her job done and done right the first time. Very high standards, very efficient.

She's also 6'5"-- 6'9" in heels, which intimidates the fuck out of her insecure male coworkers all the time.

She also goes through assistants like bubblegum, not in the sexual sense, but in the incredibly demanding and near-impossible boss way. The longest someone has lasted with Alcina was five months. The shortest = 1 1/2 months. Her standards are that high. (As you can see I drew a lot from Cat Grant because I was in the Supergirl fandom for a while don't shame me)

She is also an incredibly devoted mother to her 3 daughters, aged 12 to 16 (ages pending) and she somehow balances work-life very well. And those who can look Alcina in the eye can tell her family means the world to her and it's likely the only time she genuinely smiles and laughs when her daughters are in the office or she tells a story about them.

Not that those in the office would know-- they don't meet her gaze lest they chance being turned to stone.

(There are also rumors she's related to Countess Elizabeth Báthory or even Vlad the Impaler himself, what with her Romanian ancestry)

Anyways, she has the world in her palms, uber-rich, super fucking hot, and could get anyone and anything with a flick of her wrist. Top of the line style. Heels and eyes that could slice. And yet, in desperate need of a competent assistant that'll last more than 3 months.

On the other hand, you are quite the opposite of Miss Alcina Dimitrescu: practicality over panache for fashion, rather wear pants and loafers than skirts and heels (more for efficiency and comfort than anything else), not really into flaunting what you got. You come from a simple background, never really had money, just enough that it kept food on the table-- especially when you had a falling out with your parents.

You’re frugal as well. Your clothes are at least two years old, you dare not to shop too much for yourself, as you’ve been insecure with money before because of your parent’s kicking you out. Your phone is too many years out of date. A small one bedroom apartment. You prefer glasses over contacts because contacts are too expensive and its cheaper to just wear glasses everyday.

And yet, you’re whip smart. Efficient, stubborn, and determined to boot if you have the resources. You managed to make your way through college despite your parents not helping and you managed to land a good jig as the assistant to Nepotism Junior, one where you can afford a good, single, albeit small apartment, and you have at least a comma to your name when it comes to savings.

But it’s hard-- especially when you’ve been doing Nepotism Junior’s job for over a year during the year and half stint at the company. Long arduous hours where you are not only doing your job but also his while he does god knows what. It keeps you busy yes, but it also keeps his grubby hands and prepubescent one-liners away from you. So you can’t complain that it is all that bad.

(There is other things that may bring Alcina and the Reader first together, but I don’t want to divulge it here) It comes to a head one day when some misadventures and drunkenness leaves Nepotism Junior down for the count for an important meeting with some head honchos at the company. So you stand before them, giving them a presentation on the work he’s (read: you’ve) been doing for the past month. And frankly, it is some of your best work.

There are little hiccups, mostly just reanswering questions that some old geezers missed the first time. And Alcina has been quiet, for the most part as well, only sounding when she wants you to clarify somethings in “Nepotism Junior’s” presentation.

Somehow you don’t turn to stone when you meet her gaze at the head of table. Somehow your voice doesn’t waver like it would normally do. You know what you’re talking about.

“Give Nepotism Junior our congratulations for his work and presentation. We have a feeling we’ll be moving forward with his proposal.” She says, eyes on you the whole time. You can’t help how your mouth twitches at it.

And they leave. You go back to your desk and continue with your work, while Junior sleeps off his hangover. And that’s that.

Until it isn’t.

Because next week, you’re suddenly transferred to the Alcina Dimitrescu’s floor and you’re now her assistant. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

To say you hit the ground running would be an understatement. It’s more like dropped in the middle of the ocean and expected to get to land miles way by a deadline, no boat or raft in sight.

The first week is hell. Week two and three is practically purgatory. And week four is back down to hell (you swear Miss Dimitrescu was testing you that week and expecting you to break under the strain, however, you’re fucking stubborn like a bull and won’t be pushed around by this entitled, snobbish, egotistical--)

The money is far better than before (like nearly double) and you actually do things in your job description (and then some). And you don’t have to deal with Nepotism Junior’s remarks and alcohol breath at 10am. So frankly, it’s a pretty damn good upgrade.

Week 5 is marginally better, things start to settle. Week 6 is when you begin to get Miss Dimitrescu’s temperament and routine predicted and you start to notice things you didn’t before.

She likes her coffee with two creams and one sugar one lighter days. One cream and no sugar on harder days. On Wednesdays she’s noticeably happier and more relaxed as you’ve learned that it’s her and her girls game night. Her brow creases in a particular way when she’s reading business jargon. It furrows in a different way when she has to read horrible drivel. She likes talking to herself through problems. She likes that you know what she’s talking about and sometimes bounces ideas off of you. When she likes your ideas she hums and follows up with it. If she doesn’t she sends you on a fetch quest.

Alcina Dimitrescu also has a horrible sweet tooth, especially when she’s stressed, and there’s a secret cabinet, you learned, where she keeps her stash. You walked in on her stuffing her face with chocolate one time and was nearly impaled with a fountain pen. (You make sure to keep it well stocked after that)

She’s a stern, but predictable woman. With moods you’re slowly starting to foresee even before 9:30am, before she’s half-way through her morning latte.

See the full post

462 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#3

There’s an abrupt clatter to the ground as a surge of something dark crashes into you, the journal falling abandoned on the ground. Pale hands slip out from between your bodies and come to clasp at your shoulders, digging into the material and muscle with determined strength. You stagger back as warmth blossoms as your bodies come together and Donna’s grip brings you downward and downward and downward. . .

Oh.

. . .

. . .

. . .

Oh.

The veil’s layered fabric crashes onto your lips and you gasp as you feel Donna beneath it. Her lips are pleasantly cool and oh so perfectly soft, even behind the cloth separating you. Despite the chasteness, a fervent fire ignites and radiates between where two of you meet, curling and spreading and utterly encompassing. She’s now a blaze you can’t control and have no care to. You’re being consumed. You’re being razed. Her breath is sweet, too sweet that it has your mind reeling and spiraling. Until thoughts slip away into blissful nothingness as she presses further in, sating all your worries and doubts.

The shock has you stiffen from her kiss.

Her kiss. Donna’s kiss.

Donna is kissing you.

-- Chapter 6, The Phytologist’s Guide to Falling in Love

___________________

Thank you anna-sassi-art for bringing this scene to life! Absolutely wonderful work and I’m practically shaking with excitement to share this commission everyone. Agh! So ecstatic!

It was also so fun to brainstorm a description for the reader and honestly I think now have a crush on them. Oops.

822 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#2

Alcina: *takes a sip of Coke* *looks disappointed* *sighs* They just don’t make them like they used to…

Reader: “????? You mean with the actual cocaine?????”

Alcina: *visibly sheds a tear* yeah…..

1,092 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The most unrealistic part of Stray is it’s an orange cat being Smart

6,487 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[stardustshimmer]

*clicks pen*

So, my dearest buddy pal Stardust, I’ve got myself a couple questions for you!:

1

3

4

8

10

16, though with a little tweak or two to the question! We all know what fandoms you draw for, so I’m curious outside of that! Anything in particular you draw that has no association with a preestablished fandom?

and 24! (Not shameful per say, but anything in your artistic past that has you suffer internally when looking back at, but a nostalgic suffering nonetheless)

Okay, this is gonna be a long one!

1- I drew a lot when I was in elementary school, just typical drawings of my favorite characters from movies and shows I liked and doodles of me hanging out with family and such, in notebooks with pictures of puppies or kitties on them. Yknow, stuff a little kid would usually draw. But I dropped it for a while once I came to the sense that I really couldn't get better at it. I decided to take on art again once I reached middle school and saw how good my new friends were at drawing. But I dropped that too. I took up digital art only 2 or 3 years ago, and once I gained a love for video games, they've been my biggest drawing motivation ever since. So boom. stardustshimmer origin story.

2- Tumblr is the only art related site I ever signed up for, and it wasn't even my original intention to start posting art, but I'm glad I broke out of my little shell.

3- I still have my old elementary school notebook drawings from years ago, but I really don't feel like digging through my room for them (I'm not even at home as I'm typing this), so here's my first attempt at a digital drawing (you've seen this before I think, Chaos):

Not entirely terrible, but definitely not something I'm extremely proud of. Moving on-

4- I always try to make my art style expressive, cartoony, and squishy, something that'll make people go "omg that's so cute!" Also, you will rarely see me work with any other types of colors besides pastel or bright (neon???) ones.

8- My favorite piece? This is definitely up there for me:

I just love the way each character came out. Also the colors are, like, so edible. LOOK AT YOSHI. AAJSHDHDDHS.

10- What I like most about my art is just the way certain characters look when I draw them, especially when I give them a silly little expression. Also, poses are like, my main thing. I have to put a character in some kind of interesting pose, like I did with the work above for example. Sort of.

16- I don't think I've ever drawn for any other fandom besides Kirby or Mario, but I think I should expand further. I've drawn Amy Rose once, and I've had some people tell me Sonic characters would look great in my style, so I just have to give that a try sometime! A few other fandoms I have in mind are Deltarune, TADC (although I have actually made a few pieces for that, I just now remembered!) Pizza Tower, Animal Crossing, perhaps Rhythm Heaven?? The possibilities are endless. (I may or may not have misread that whole question idk-)

24- No, I don't think I have a "shameful art past," really. I never took art that seriously for me to want to do anything like trace or recolor things. Although I recall how I used to trace over random spongebob frames once I figured out how tracing worked. But that was just for fun. Other than that, not really.

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I APPRECIATE IT. I love rambling.

[abishekmuses]

Facing the Music

For years, I've harboured envy, resentment, pride and slothfulness. I'm not a christian or anything - don't know why this is taking that form - but I want to roll with it. I've been having a pretty intense time of it recently - For years, I've felt like I've been stuck. Years. Today, I even thought that maybe I've never really felt well-adjusted throughout my entire adult life - that's a scary thought. I don't know if it's true though - how can I know? I've not been in other people's heads. Anyway, about a month ago I decided to take my writing more seriously - you see, I'd spent most of my life wanting to be a doctor - wanting's the key word here - I just wanted it. Wanted it - said I wanted it anyway and thought I wanted it. I realised that I'm not in control of my life and was getting swept away with events and the changes in mood/perspective that they brought about only to find myself in pretty much the same place again after months or maybe even years. There was this sense of "now or never" - I felt like like if I didn't do something radical, I'd keep getting sidetracked by the crosswinds of life - so I decided to go on a 3 month period of silence. I'd still play badminton and to make sure it didn't get unnecessarily weird, I'd speak minimally to my mates there. Likewise on the odd occasion that i'd need to buy something, I'd speak sparingly. (although the idea was to keep this to a bare minimum) And, I'd still speak to my boss. (which is not often anyway)

I was also going off social media (which at this point was just whatsapp and telegram) and youtube. No music either. I also switched off my phone.

I'd been on a "high" wave of sorts - the past few months had felt pretty "flow-y" - There was this sense of positivity in me that was reasonably stable and it felt like this was the right time to do something like this. In the beginning it was all hunky dory - I felt good about myself and got into this "everything's gonna be so great" kind of a mindset that I tend to get into - a high-energy, high-optimism and high-creativity. (I have been thinking if I'm actually bipolar; Not a fun thought)

I had a lot of time; I had a lot of clarity and energy; Good stuff flowing - great all through! Gradually, the fears and icky emotions started to surface.

"Hey! I'm equipped for this stuff now - I've done a bunch of sadhana - plus I know that doing these kinds of things hasten the processing of negative emotions - this is totally par for the course - let's just keep going towards these emotions and just let them go! That'll do the trick!" I felt good about my odds against these dastardly old nemeses of mine. I even wrote a post on this selfsame blog about how much of a game changer this "letting go" thing was. Just sitting with emotions and watching them leave. Managed to finish reading the book "letting go" by David R Hawkins btw. Great read. A book straight out of the heart - and a heart full of love and compassion at that. Highly recommend.

Anyway, been letting out a lot of emotions - been crying practically every single day. But today was something else. It was the motherlode - fear, insecurity, guilt, heartbreak, anxiety, shame - all the negative emotions you can think of - rolled up into one ginormous feeling of pressure and "oh fuck the walls are closing in on me".

At some point, I remembered Richard Rudd's words from the Gene Keys (another book I highly recommend having at home and reading every now and then when the inspiration strikes; It's a prophetic piece of writing and the book has an almost oracle like quality to it) saying that one just has to accept and feel one's fear - that's all it takes.

But it was pretty non-stop. The onslaught of panic and fear just wouldn't abate - I was worried about losing my job; I was worried about ending up broke; all sorts of stuff. But somehow I was able to remind myself that what I was actually afraid of was continuing to feel the way i was feeling in that moment.

The suffocating emotional pressure was the problem - not some hypothetical scenario where i'd lose my job and be broke. I realised that a situation where my inner state wasn't one of stress/fear and I lose my job, wouldn't be such a bad situation after all - I guess what i'm trying to say is i remembered something crucial through that intense negative state - that the real problem is just the state itself. The fears about a certain situation coming to pass in life is just a projection of that internal state.

To make matters worse, I'd woken up thinking about my ex today. I felt a lot of old memories coming up - of me cheating on her - me being a reckless addict in general who caused a lot of damage with his inability to control his impulses; Guilt emerged. Sadness emerged; Desperation ensued. She was on my mind a lot today and I guess that's why I googled her name - Found her website, IG etc - saw that she was upto a lot of cool stuff with her life - she'd been writing (incredibly well) and seemed to have started some kind of service where she was helping people release their inner pain and find lightness. My instant response was one of constriction - A lot of fear, anxiety, insecurity and inadequacy came up. Old patterns of such feelings were recognised. I went for a walk and kind of reckoned with myself for a bit - "hey this is not who you are - are you really upset that she's doing well?" the answer came back that I'm not but I did feel terrified about my own prospects. Felt this feeling a lot of us are familiar with which goes along the lines of "why am I such a fuck up? Why did I waste so much of my life? yada yada" Now you see why I'd mentioned earlier about wanting to do more with writing - now that I saw my ex writing and doing so well with it - I was like "fuck I'm late even to this and I'm not sure i'm even at this level yet - blah blah blah - self-defeating rhetoric. Classic insecurity and fear.

At some point while I was swimming in stress and anxiety, I stumbled on one of her blog posts where I found that her best friend, Julia, a girl that I'd spent quite some time with (she's about my age) had just died! That piece of news was a real shocker and did quite the number on me! I bawled my eyes out and just couldn't hold it.

I was like "to heck with the silence - I'm gonna go tell my parents that I love them and hug them - which I did; I didn't want to go through my period of silence out of some misplaced sense of pride/propriety only to face that feeling of "oh fuck I never got to tell them how i felt!"

I hugged them, cried to them and wrote some stuff to them. For what it's worth, the verbal silence is still intact. Kept crying non-stop. At some point, after hugging my parents and soaking in their love, I couldn't help but feel a profound sense of gratitude for life - that I was even alive. Some of the things I was worried about even hours ago felt churlish. To think that I was thinking things like "fuck I'm 30! Is it too late to pursue my dream of becoming a doctor?" - Man that chick I smoked weed with is dead now! fucking dead!

That really knocked some perspective into me. Even being broke isn't nearly the same ballpark of a problem as being dead. Fuck. That news really knocked the wind out of my sails for a bit. But it also showed me that I was holding back a lot with unnecessary worrying. I felt an inner loosening - a relaxation - a coming back to life.

I got on my motorcycle and went for a ride through my town. I fell in love with everything my eyes saw. I felt reborn.

Let's see where we go! But for now, I love you all and I love this beautiful world we live in for all its fuck ups and dramas and heartaches - I love being alive!

[mentallydeadartist]

Look who's back with another rambling post :,)

Well, let's just start with the usual, so I'll be opening up the box that is "Stranger by the shore" and like last time this is like a continuation of me blabbering to my friend 💀 so this is what I started with:

"It's way too fast paced. Also they focused on the wrong stuff. Like if you're already having bad pacing then I don't need a 5 min scene (or more) of them fucking. Like???

And the relationship is 1. Rushed, like they have known each other for like a while (I'd say a month but maybe even a few more months (I'd hope)) and then one of the guys needs to leave and the other is left to ponder for 3 years. Then when he gets back he (obv, he literally got back for him) starts flirting and what not so much that the other guy is just going deep down internalized homophobia and is brushing him off. He starts being distant and telling him "are you sure this is what you want" and man literally pulls out "you sure you don't want a girlfriend rather than having me?". 2. The internalized homophobia guy needs to sort some stuff out. He's way too quick when it's a stupid choice he's making. Like for example his fiance (who he broke off the engagement with even before meeting the other guy) is back to tell him about his dad. And while he fosters no feelings for her, when she asks "give a kiss goodbye, so that I'll be able to forget you" the motherfucker thinks for like two seconds ("oh yeah, that'll make it easier for her, so she'll leave me alone"). And mind you, he didn't even think about his fucking boyfriend. The other guy was literally on the side, he was gonna cheat. Without asking, without even realizing it 💀."

Like I said, it was way too fast paced for me.

And yeah it's a movie so "what were you expecting" idk. I guess I just think they could've done it better if some things were cut and some other scenes were given more time. I like the flashbacks tho, those were quite needed and at the right time too. I also get why they would want to show them flirting (or at least, Mio trying to flirt) to not have them rush too much (which, not only is it kinda playing into the "gay men rush thru every relationship they have" stereotype but also it's giving their story way less meaning) and they still failed, cause It's still too fast.

I have to say that this story would've done better as a longer film, a series would've been complicated to articulate tho. It's a rather weird situation.

I also find that it doesn't make sense for Mio to come back?? Like why would you. The "you helped me figure myself out" is not enough at all??? Why would you go back to someone you don't even know that well? How do you know he waited for you? We don't even know if they talked on the phone as much. Shun seemed shocked to talk to him, so I'd assume not. I'd understand if he (Mio) were to be grateful, as shun spent his time with him when his mom passed and didn't treat him like a good action, just like a normal person. And was still there by his side to help him through it. But not what Mio said to him.

Maybe the dub was also a mistake but it was 2 am and I was not gonna watch more subbed content.

Also the "almost cheating" thing just pisses me off. Like not only did shun just go for it (which, at least ask, like it makes sense why you would but you're not single my guy) but Mio kissed her, which you're not better than him??? Like yeah she's disappointed because it wasn't shun who kissed her, but it's still cheating bc again, Y'ALL HAD NO COMMUNICATION IN ALL OF THIS.

Also it's disgusting how after he completely messes up, shun just comes over and thinks he can make it better with kisses. Like I get if it's a small fight, but y'all both need to fucking talk because this could be getting more toxic if that isn't the case.

And then they fuck and it's anticlimactic as hell.

Like why was that even there????

"ah yeah, if people are watching, we might as well let them fuck" ??? What

Like yeah sure, pent up sexual frustration from both of them and also they're young so it's normal for them to make stupid choices.

But also they're both 20, fucking isn't gonna fix the lack of communication??

Also whose horrible idea was it to let Mio just wander with him?? Excuse me, what is he, a dog?? Mio is literally fixing everything in Shun's life and he's still getting dragged along like that. Let the guy rest istg. Now what's gonna happen? His dad is gonna be even more mad at him for being gay and then he'll sulk to Mio and he'll have to carry to burden of that too. And I get it, maybe Mio (somehow) thinks that Shun helping him is enough for what he's doing, but hm sorry to break it to you, but no way.

So if you're still planning to watch it, then just know it's some fujo bait or smt cause ain't no way it isn't 💀

[watatsumiis]

I PICKED A WHOLE BUNCH AGAJAHS

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfiction?

💖 What made you start writing?

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

WAHOOO TY :D

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

So many. So so many. You would not believe the amount of scrapped or unfinished pieces that I've got in my drafts. Definitely more than what has been posted here for SURE.

🙋‍♀️ Do any irl people know you write fanfiction?

Yeah, I'm fairly open about it with my closest friends (who do like to clown on me for being a genshin impact fan and an anime boy enjoyer etc etc (all in good fun tho)) though I wouldn't tell them the name of my blog. My boyfriend knows of course, he often gets early admission to ideas and brainrots and drafts and access to the fics I'd never post online :3

💖 What made you start writing?

Not a point of bragging but I've always had a bit of a knack for writing, so as I began to fall behind in other subjects I kind of threw myself more into writing - a lot of it came about for coping reasons, just me seeking to make things that could comfort me when I was feeling down, ways to get certain ideas to stop rolling around in my head so much, or even ways to help me process things I was going through at big times in my life (even if I didn't realise it at the time - there are some fics I go back and read and realise ive unintentionally been mirroring real life things that were happening to me during that time).

I also am just a sort of. creative person in general, I do a lot of visual art but I find it takes a lot of spoons and mental energy that I just don't always have - I've been slowly learning to take more pride in my writing and the way it has improved over the years - sometimes I struggle to see my own writing as a 'valid' piece of art because I just... I find it almost... easy, if that makes sense? It takes less spoons and often feels like less thought so my brain kind of goes "ah yes I'm somehow cheating at this" and refuses to see it as a Real Piece of Media I Created. But I've been getting better!! So yeah I think I've always been a bit of a writer but I only really started getting into it around high school, and I only started posting it online super recently (this blog is the first time ive ever shared my writing with a wider audience!)

sorry for the mostly offtopic ramble aha im a little all over the place rn but yeah !! this was an interesting subject to think about ty <3

❌ What's a trope you will never write?

Honestly? There's genuinely not much i won't write. If I can find a way to spin it that'll get the brain juice flowing, I'm set. There are certain things I'd write that I'd never post, but that's a different kettle of fish entirely (thats such a strange phrase to me jkahsfd)

🤩 Who is your favorite character to write?

Childe and Itto are SO Fun to write, Childe for his general unhinged-ness, and Itto for his dialogue and himbo tendencies !! I'm enjoying writing Diavolo from om! for the same reasons honestly.

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

I like to clown to my bf about the notes and numbers and the like, like I'll say things like "oh damn tumblr is thirsty for diluc and not itto, how sad" but honestly numbers aren't something that phase me much - i think there are a few different aspects in which I feel like a fic of mine can be successful

The writing process - If i had fun writing it, thinking about it, and/or feel better/lighter for having written it, then it's a success in that aspect

Feedback - i try not to let too much hinge on this since it's such a finicky aspect but like. If i get positive feedback and comments on a piece, rest assured I've read every one about three times over. It makes me so happy to see others engage in my content, and to have people say things like "i needed this today" or "this made me smile" means more than any of you will ever ever know - writing is a source of comfort to me, and the fact that i'm able to share it and bring comfort to others as well is just. it makes me so so happy.

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Really depends on the inspiration level and how I'm rotating the ideas around in my brain - some pieces I can get the idea, then have it started and finished within one sitting, others I need some time to kind of sit on before a scenario comes to me. If it's something I'm particularly inspired for I can reach well over 1k words an hour. I don't really edit or proofread the pieces I post either, I just hit send and hope for the best (I've definitely come back to a piece weeks later to realise there's been a typo in it the whole time, oops)