#posting here just because

[stardustandash]

Enter The Wild - Linked Universe

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort

Chapter 1  

The band of Heroes find themselves in a Hyrule of ruins and relics and about one hundred years too late. Or maybe, they came just at the right time.

Yet another "gang meets Wild" fic

AO3

The shift had been fast and dramatic. One minute the group was walking through a market in Sky’s Hyrule, and the next they were standing in the middle of a big, empty field. Well, it wasn’t completely empty. There were strange large stones that were rather uniform in shape popping out of the long grass and the ruins of stone buildings standing derelict and sad. To top it off, they had gone from a bright, sunny day to a cold drizzling rain. The group all stared around then at each other.

“Ok, anyone going to pipe up and say they recognize this, or?” asked Warriors.

“Definitely not mine,” said Wind. “Twilight?”

“Nope, not mine either.”

“Then I think we’re about to find another Link,” said Time. “Alright, we know the drill now, find the nearest town, ask around for the Hero, and don’t be suspicious.”

The last was tacked on with a pointed look to Four and Wind.

“But first, we’re going to find some shelter and wait out this rain?” asked Sky hopefully.

There were sounds of agreement all around, and so the group set off. Their boots slipped and caught in the mud as they stepped across the field. At first, everything seemed fairly normal, but as the group continued Time couldn’t help feel more and more nervous about this Hyrule. There were animals in the tall grass that darted away from the group as they passed, but there were no other travellers to speak of. Hell, there was not even a sign of civilization aside from the ruins that shadowed them across the field. Time looked to the others and saw the growing discomfort on their faces as well. Legend was biting his lip as he surveyed a stone wall, taking in the crumbling stones at the base. No one made a sound as they walked, not even to laugh when Hyrule’s boot got stuck in the mud and was stuck hopping on one foot until he could free it.

Eventually their search for shelter was cancelled out by the downpour lessening and the clouds lightening overhead. The group could see farther now, and found themselves to be in a large valley basin. The rain was just easing off and the sun was beginning to peek through the clouds when they got their first sight of civilization. Smoke curled into the sky from a point out of sight behind a hill. They could also see two tall peaks stretching skyward and lost among the last of the rainclouds. The beauty of the landscape and the sign of living people lifted their hearts as the group set off with a new energy in their steps.

“Hey guys, I don’t think these are just stones. Come look at this!” called Wind as he scrambled up the side of one of the uniform rocks.

Indeed, as Time got closer and with the light of the sun he could make out swirling patterns carved into the rock and though it was half-buried there were four visible tendril like appendages sticking out of it. It looked like some kind of mechanical monster.

So of course Four had scurried ahead and was now trying to it out.

“Careful Four, we don’t want to accidentally wake it up,” said Time.

“I just want to see if its mechanical or magic!”

“Think you could get it running again?” asked Hyrule. “Wonder what they were all for?”

Time sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. These kids were going to be the death of him. He sincerely hoped that whoever this Hyrule’s Link was, he would be calm, patient, and practical. Even if they could wake up one of these creatures, there was nothing saying that it would be at all friendly. Better to learn about this world first before messing with potentially important or evil beings.

“We should get a move on. It may have stopped raining, but we should still find shelter for the night and start asking questions,” said Time. When Wind and Four started pouting he added: “We can ask about these things too. Someone around here must know something about them.”

“Yes!”

“Fine, but I’m taking this,” said Four, holding up a large, strange looking screw before pocketing it.

The group continued on, passing the strange mechanical creatures where they sat quietly in the dirt. As Time’s eyes spotted the top of a strange looking structure over the rise, Warriors spotted something else.

Planted in the ground were several long-rusted weapons. Just the right size for a Hylian and near to both one of the strange creatures and a ruined wall.

“Something happened in this Hyrule. Something bad,” said Warriors as he took another look around the field. “This was a battlefield, a long time ago if these weapons are to judge. Wherever the Hero is, he’s got one hell of a mess on his hands.”

He absently picked up one of the rusted swords and gave it an experimental swing. The blade snapped off and nearly hit Sky, who was yanked out of the way by Hyrule.

“Nice,” snarked Legend.

“Shut up,” said Warriors. “I’m just proving my point, these weapons are ancient.”

“Come on, we’re nearly there. Unless you want to replace your weapons with rusted out equivalents?” said Time.

Truth be told he was just as unsettled from the untouched battleground this Hyrule seemed to be. And he was doubly glad Four hadn’t found some way to turn the creatures on, as Time was starting to have the sneaking suspicion that they were responsible for the ruins and the abandoned weapons.

The thoughts of what could’ve happened in this world swirled around his head for the rest of their walk. He was so lost in thought it took Twilight gently shoving his shoulder to realize they had reached their destination.

It was not civilization.

At least, not in the sense that Time, or any of the others thought of it. Instead of a village or a collection of huts, they had come across one very large, very strange tent. It was shaped vaguely like a horse. He had the brief thought of Malon laughing her head off at the structure and it sent a burst of longing through his heart. Though the tent was strange, the people milling about near it were not. Hylians, and a few others of the various folk of Hyrule were going about their business in the area. Most noticeably a large rito man with blue feathers playing an accordion. Still, there were less than ten people by Time’s count. Not enough for a village. But a few waved at the group as they approached, and a friendly man called from behind a wood counter.

They quickly learned the friendly man’s name, Tasseren, and that he owned this particular stable. Out of how many he did not say, but he promised the beds here were softer than any of the rest. With the sun getting low in the sky the group pooled their rupees and settled in for the night. After their walk it was no surprise when Sky and Wind practically jumped into their beds and were softly snoring only minutes later. It was only a matter of time before the others crawled into their own beds, armour and weapons resting at the ready on the ground nearby.

Time let them get comfortable under their warm blankets before walking back out into the night. A few people were still up, mostly talking with each other over the cook fire nearby the actual stable part of the structure. Across the nearby river a blue structure glowed brightly, its light rippling across the moving water to touch the opposite bank. Time settled himself against the wall of the tent looking out over the field with the strange stone structures. This Hyrule was unsettling. Peaceful, but unsettling.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Time would be lying if he said the question didn’t surprise him in the stillness of the night. He turned quickly, reaching for a sword that was left next to his bed inside when he found Twilight grinning down at him.

“You neither, Pup?”

“No. Something about this place makes me uneasy. The whole field smells, well, like death,” said Twilight as he sat down next to time. He leaned against Time’s arm as his eyes stared out across the shadowy field. In the dark Time couldn’t make out more than a few dark shapes in the grass, but he knew Twilight’s eyes were better than his.

“We’ll get some answers, Pup. And hopefully the Hero here has it all in hand. After all, the rest of us joined up after our adventuring days were done,” said Time, not without a touch of bitterness. None of them had asked to go on another adventure. The only upside was that this time none of them were alone on their journey.

“Ah, did I hear you mention a hero?” asked an unfamiliar voice. Both Time and Twilight looked up at the newcomer. It was the rito man with the accordion from their arrival. “I know a song about the Champion, if you’d like to hear it.”

Time and Twilight shared a look. Would information actually just fall into their laps? It couldn’t be that easy.

Kass misinterpreted their look. “Sorry for eavesdropping, but all of you young men remind me of a friend of mine. Same sort of looks, you all could be family.”

“It’s fine,” said Time. “And yes, we would like to hear your song.”

Time hoped that the rito’s friend was in fact, the hero they were looking for.

“Excellent! Ah, before I start, my name is Kass. I’m a bard from Rito Village.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Kass,” said Time.

Kass nodded, and took a deep breath before beginning an upbeat, yet sad tune. His voice followed the dance of the melody as he sang low and sweet.

“An ancient hero, a Calamity appears, Now resurrected after 10,00 years.

Her appointed knight gives his life, Shields her figure, and pays the price. The princess’ love for her fallen knight awakens her power, and within the castle the Calamity is forced to cower. But the knight survives! In the Shrine of Resurrection he sleeps, Until from his healing dream he leaps!

For Fierce and deadly trials await. To regain his strength. Fulfil his fate.

To become a hero once again! To wrest the princess from evil’s den.

The hero, the princess -hand in hand- Must bring the light back to this land.”

Kass let the final note trail off into the sounds of the night. For a moment the three of them sat entranced in the dark before Time and Twilight caught up with what the words of the song were telling them.

“Wait, so the hero of this land is in this Shrine of Resurrection?” asked Twilight.

Kass blinked down at them in surprise before his features gentled into a strange smile.

“It’s just a song. Everyone knows the Champion died protecting Princess Zelda one hundred years ago. The Shrine of Resurrection is real enough. I have a traveler friend who told me he visited it once, if you’re interested in seeing it.”

Time felt his heart sink. Why would Hylia bring them all to this Hyrule now, with their Link 100 years dead. Maybe they had to fix it all themselves now, was that it? On top of fighting the darkness they had to save this Hyrule?

“What’s this Calamity in the song?” asked Time, hoping it wasn’t too strange of a question to ask.

From the look he got, it was a very strange question.

“Are you boys trying to say you haven’t seen the castle in the last hundred years?” said Kass. “Have you been living in the clouds?”

Time’s heart raced as he tried to think of a convincing lie.

“Our parents were very protective. Its our first time out of the village,” offered Twilight when Time failed to think of anything suitable.

Kass was apparently still not convinced when the sound of hooves on the road captured all three of their attention. Coming down the road from the west was a pale white horse, its coat gleaming in the moonlight. On its back was a dark shadow of a rider.

“Ah, it’s my friend,” said Kass. “The one who has been to the Shrine of Resurrection.”

Unconvincing lies forgotten, Kass moved towards the road to greet his friend. Time stood to get a better look at the stranger and felt Twilight do the same beside him. They watched as the stranger rode up and dismounted smoothly in front of the stable. He gave his horse a quick pat before waving at Kass in greeting. The stranger’s face was mostly hidden by the dark cloak he wore and the shadows no matter how Time strained his eyes to work.

“Hello to you too, my friend. Are you well?”

The stranger shrugged and raised the hand not holding the reins of his horse. “I’ve been better. Blood moon a few nights ago, had to clear the roads again.”

Time was a bit taken aback to see the stranger signing. At least Kass understood, or seemed to.

“That’s too bad. Would hearing a song before you sleep cheer you up?”

The stranger nodded, and motioned to his horse.

“Yes, I’ll wait until you put him away.”

The stranger nodded again and disappeared out of sight for a few minutes before coming back to stand in front of Kass. Time watched as he stood expectantly, almost childlike in the way he held his hands together in front of himself. Again, Kass started singing a song, this time about Champions who fought Ganon 10,000 years ago and some “Divine Beasts”. Time didn’t really understand aside from that this world had, apparently, seen more than its fair share of battle.

All throughout the song the stranger stood and listened as if rooted to the spot, gently nodding his head in time. As Kass finished the stranger gave him some quiet applause. It was a nice moment, considering how strangely eerie this Hyrule was. Time relaxed a little, shifting his weight to lean against a support for the tent when the moment was ruined by a branch snapping under his foot.

The stranger reacted in an instant, a bow in his hands from seemingly nowhere and an arrow pointed straight at Time. Before Time could react to calm the situation, Twilight stepped in front of him with a growl.

“Shush, Pup,” said Time at the same time Kass said “It’s ok, they’re just travelers.”

Time put a hand on Twilight and gently but forcefully shoved him out of the way as he stepped forward into the torchlight at the front of the stable. The stranger had lowered his bow slightly, but still had the arrow nocked and ready.

“Sorry for startling you, my name’s Time, and that’s Twilight. We’re travellers,” said Time in a soft voice.

The stranger just stared, hands still gripping his weapon before Kass chuckled at him.

“They aren’t bokoblins, Link,” said Kass, “No need for the bow.”

Time’s ears pricked up at that. Maybe the Hero wasn’t quite as gone in this world as the story claimed. With a sigh, the stranger, Link, dismissed his bow in a glow of blue light to a small rectangle hanging on his hip. With one hand he reached up to pull down his dark hood and revealed a head of shoulder length blonde hair swept up in a ponytail and a face full of familiarities. He had Time’s blue eyes, Twilight’s proud nose, and the same stubborn cowlick Legend tried to keep hidden with his hat.

Then the similarities ended. The boy staring back at him has skin that told a sad story. Scars twisted up Link’s neck, clawing across his left cheek and disappearing into his hairline. All in all, the kid looked like he had been through hell.

“Sorry. Yiga are common here, can’t be too careful,” signed Link.

“At least you didn’t shoot us,” said Twilight. “Anyway, we hear you know where to find the Shrine of Resurrection. Call us pilgrims of a sort, we’d like to see it.”

Link’s face darkened and his shoulders hunched under his cloak. His eyes skittered away and he bit his lip.

“Why?”

“We’re related to the Hero and we’d like to pay our respects,” said Time. Talking to link was not unlike trying to soothe a spooked horse. All he had to do was speak calmly and evenly and keep his movements slow and telegraphed. “If you know the way, would you be able to show us?”

It did not escape his attention that Link’s eyes shot back to him the moment he said they were related to the Hero. It wasn’t a lie, they were all distantly related across time and space and by the Hero’s Spirit. Link’s stare was piercing, as if trying to see into Time’s soul for the truth. Whatever he was looking for, he found it as he relented with a sigh and his shoulders relaxed a bit.

“I can show you in the morning. Go sleep, we leave at dawn,” he signed at them.

He then turned and vanished into the tent. By the time Time and Twilight followed him inside they could only see a bed with the curtains drawn to mark where he had gone. In the other beds the various heroes slept on, all soon to be awoken to the fact Time and Twilight had found either this Hyrule’s Link or a lead to him.

Next Chapter

[planefood]

rules for thee and not for me

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[maeamian]

Part of the reason that Republicans are so desperately acting like they will never lose again is because they are deeply terrified that this is their last real chance to win. The big orange dipshit came in and gutted the party of everyone who wasn't a loyalist, which left it full of nasty little gremlins who have gaping voids where charisma and human decency is supposed to go.

They still hold a lot of power, but if we stop them this year the next presidential election may not be the Most Important One Of Your Life™, that's not a guarantee or anything, but if they don't win here and now their future looks grim, this dipshit is the only guy they have left and he's extremely diminished and has his brains leaking out of his ears at this point. We can beat him into the ground.

So that's what we're gonna fucking do. We're gonna break these fucking fash. They will crash upon us and we're gonna break their fucking necks. When they come for us they will lose because they're fucking losers and we have each other's backs which is something they fundamentally are incapable of comprehending.

[octarineblues]

supporting communities & people impacted by the Southport attack and the far-right riots in the UK

here is a list of community fundraisers I found, starting with those aiming to support the Southport community after the appalling attack at a children dance party, to the fundraisers helping those affected by the subsequent racist and Islamophobic far-right/nazi riots

Edited on 5 August to include Middlesbrough fundraisers. Edited on 6 August to correct the link on the Books for Spellow Lane fundraiser, to adjust the name change for the Belfast fundraiser, and to adjust the wording in the second last paragraph.

Southport:

Southport Strong Together Appeal - organised by the community foundation for Merseyside, for those affected by the Southport knife attack

United for Southport families - the funds will be distributed among the nine families of the children who were at the party

Swifties for Southport - a fundraiser for the Alder Hey Children's charity, which supports the victims and the affected families, as well as first responders and clinicians. Extra funds will also support the wider Southport community

Fundraiser for the Southport Mosque - a fundraiser to aid rebuilding or possibly re-locating the Southport Mosque after the damages it suffered during the riots

Rebuilding Windsor Mini Mart - fundraiser to rebuild the locally-owned grocery store that was targeted during the attacks, broken into, and looted

Liverpool:

Fundraiser for the Spellow Hub - the Spellow Hub was broken into, looted and set on fire at night during the riots. The Spellow Hub is a newly created one-of-a-kind (in the UK) institution, which consists of a library as well as a community centre with a mission to help people get education and pathways to work

Books for Spellow Lane - another fundraiser for the library in the Spellow Hub, to replace the books and rebuild the library there edit: included the correct link

Hartlepool:

Fundraiser for the Nasir Mosque - the Nasir Mosque was attacked following Southport riots; this fundraiser is organised by Hartlepool citizens to help the mosque deal with the damages as well as to show appreciation for the role of the mosque in the community. edit: the funds will be also distributed to the local community!

Rebuilding the Farm Shop - the shop was targeted during the riots, and when the owner and his son tried to protect it, they were also violently attacked. The fundraiser is to help fix the damages to the store.

Sunderland:

help rebuild Citizens Advice Sunderland offices after arson - two of the Citizens Advice Sunderland offices were set on fire during the riots, and one of them is completely destroyed.

Hull:

Hull Help for Refugees - a local fundraiser to support the Hull Help for Refugees charity, the donated money will be re-distributed to community members affected by the riots

Fundraiser for Hull Help for Refugees and Welcome House in Hull - collected money will be donated to the two charities

Belfast:

help fix racially motivated damages - originally the fundraiser for the Sahara Shisha Cafe which was targeted by the far right in Belfast during the riots, now a fundraiser for all affected businesses in the area. edited to reflect the change of the name of the fundraiser to avoid any confusion

Middlesbrough:

Supporting residents after the riots - Middlesbrough has suffered so much during the riots, lots of businesses as well as just regular family homes were vandalised, had their windows smashed or even were broken into. This fundraiser wants to distribute the funds between affected people to help them fix the damages, and to generally support the local community. the newest fundraiser, imo potentially the most urgent one

Fundraiser for a Care worker's car which was set on fire - a car belonging to an employee of a care agency was set on fire during the riots while he was on shift at a care home.

If you want to donate locally but there is no fundraiser to support where you live, consider donating to your local charities oriented towards Muslim or PoC communities, or towards anti-racist and refugee organizations! And go support your local Muslim/Arab/Black/Asian/Refugee owned businesses!

If you have any information about other local fundraisers, feel free to add to the post or don't hesitate to let me know and I will add them here! We have seen so much hate in the past few days, we have to stay strong and keep supporting each other!

Stay safe everyone 💛

[forgettable-au]

I think about this call so much

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[brainrotcharacters]

the easy grip on the knife. the leg over the seat. the hand over the other seat. the sassy "come get it" move. you know the bitch is smiling behind that mask even as he said the line.

[clownowo]

been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading

[pansy-picnics]

“gay son or thot daughter,” you start to ask, but you can’t even finish your sentence because cosmo and wanda heard “gay son” and immediately started cheering and clapping

[stardustandash]

It Burns - Jedi Survivor 

I’ve decided to post some of my one-shots here on tumblr. If you prefer reading on ao3 this is the link.

Summary: “You’re going to be alright. Just gotta get you back to town and then I’m sure we can get you patched up,” said Bode.

The sentiment was nice. Koboh wasn’t exactly boasting a med-station or even a spare bacta tank. At best he’d probably have a new scar and some enduring lung damage. Again. At worst, well, it’s not like he would be around to care.

Or, what if instead of Cal walking away completely fine after the final fight with Dagan Gera, that slash across the chest actually did some damage.

*spoilers up to and including the observatory mission only*

Characters: Cal Kestis, Bode Akuna, Greez Dritus, Merrin

Tags: hurt/comfort, whump, pre-Merrical

Word Count: 3,407

Lightsaber wounds, in Cal’s experience, karking sucked. The line carved across his chest burned hotter than a thousand suns. He struggled to take in a breath, to concentrate on his surroundings, but it was difficult to take in anything but the pain crackling across his chest and the smell of burned flesh. The body of Dagan Gera lay at his feet, finally defeated, though Cal wasn’t sure if he should award the victory to himself or to the memory of Santari Khri. It had been her, or her spirit reaching through the Force, or maybe just a desperate projection of his own mind that had taken down Dagan.

Cal’s breathing hitched around the burning in his chest. Distantly, he registered BD’s concerned beeping, but before he took a stim there was something more important to do. The compass. He had to get the compass. He scanned the sleek white room, unsure if he was spinning, or it was. There, it was under one of the consoles in the room. Or at least he thought that greyish blur was the compass. It was getting hard to make out the details. Hie blinked, and his perspective of the observatory changed. Instead of looking down at the small fuzzy mass he was fairly certain was the compass, he was looking across at it. Then his vision was filled by a very worried droid hopping from foot to foot and bouncing a tiny green vial out of his head. He was supposed to catch that. He tried to reach out for the stim but his hand didn’t do more than twitch.

Large hands found his shoulders and gently turned Cal from his side onto his back. The pain flared. His breath caught in his chest. The ground beneath him fell away as he fought desperately to breathe again. The only tether to reality was those warm, large hands gripping him tight, the distant low voice that sounded through the murky depths of his pain. Yet even so Cal could feel himself slipping further and further away. Kriffing sith with their kriffing lightsabers. Would it have been so hard to just stab him instead and put him out of his misery quickly.

There was a pressure against Cal’s neck accompanied by a small hiss. He slammed back into reality, blinking up into the concerned face of Bode. He wheezed, and the worried lines on Bode’s face deepened.

“You with me, Kestis?” asked Bode voice soft with worry.

Cal was too busy trying to keep his lungs working despite the burn across his chest to think about answering. He settled for trying to lock eyes with Bode instead. It seemed to work; Bode nodded as he met Cal’s eyes.

“You’re going to be alright. Just gotta get you back to town and then I’m sure we can get you patched up,” said Bode.

The sentiment was nice. Koboh wasn’t exactly boasting a med-station or even a spare bacta tank. At best he’d probably have a new scar and some enduring lung damage. Again. At worst, well, it’s not like he would be around to care.

BD beeped and another green vial flew through the air. Bode snatched it and injected it into Cal in one smooth motion. Breathing became a touch easier, and Cal could focus on the world outside of Bode’s hold. Which sent his mind spiralling back to the whole reason he had fought Dagan in the first place.

“The compass?” Cal wheezed. He pushed weakly against Bode’s hold. Tanalorr was so close, he just needed the compass and there would be a safe place in the galaxy for anyone who needed it.

“I got it,” said Bode. There was something odd in his voice, but it was too much effort for Cal to parse it. “Come on, let’s get you back to your girlfriend.”

The words had the intended effect of riling up Cal enough to distract him from the pain of being hauled to his unsteady feet. It took both Bode and BD to get him up, and it was only BD and his little jets that stopped him from tipping over away from Bode once he landed upright.

“She’s not… my girlfriend,” muttered Cal between wheezing breaths. It was true, he didn’t know what was between himself and Merrin, only that what was there had changed in some unnameable way.

“Sure, you can be the one to tell her that,” said Bode as he gently slung one of Cal’s arms around his neck before reaching around to hold his waist.

Raising his arm pulsed fire across Cal’s chest but he bit back a groan and let Bode lead him towards the turbolift. He did his best to keep his feet under him but there was no denying that Bode was doing most of the work keeping him upright and moving. What did he do to deserve Bode. The man stayed strong beside him while facing down Dagan armed only with a blaster and now was hauling his ass out of the ancient Republic observatory to try and get him help. The last time he’d been held so gently had been, well, the last time he had a lightsaber wound in his chest.

When the turbolift descended Cal’s vision went briefly white at the change in movement. Only Bode’s strong arms kept him upright. Still, he tried to focus on anything other than gravity trying to take hold in the burning sensation across his chest. There was the weight of BD on his arm where it was draped over Bode’s shoulder. The scratchy feel of Bode’s shirt where his cheek rested on his chest. The smell of sweat and burned flesh. Scratch that, he did not want to focus on either of those scents.

Too late, his stomach flipped and Cal retched helplessly. He forced down the sick feeling but not before his diaphragm got the memo to send his stomach convulsing and the flames trying to burn their way through his chest increased in ferocity. The hand holding his arm around Bode’s shoulder rubbed gently along his wrist.

“Hold on, Kestis. We’re almost there.”

Cal just focused on not passing out instead of responding.

A few seconds later a cool breeze ruffled Cal’s hair and he could smell the thin, distinct scent of Koboh’s atmosphere; they had made it back out to the lower levels of the observatory. They made their way across the platform towards the open air and the dizzying expanse below. For a moment Cal wondered what Bode’s plan was. Maybe he’d just push him off and let gravity claim another victim. But no, Bode wouldn’t do that.

Instead, Cal found himself being lifted gently into Bode’s arms. The change in position sent another spasm of pain through him, and by the time he managed to breathe again they were next to Bode’s fighter. Kriff, he’d wanted to enjoy hitching a ride with the jetpack. He tried pushing against Bode’s chest to be put down. Now that they were back on sturdy ground there was no need to still be carried. The attempt was futile, whether that was due to the weakness sinking into him or the fact that Bode probably had at least fifty pounds on him, Cal couldn’t tell. Bode kept him in his arms as he opened up the fighter and settled them both in.

It was a tight fit, but Cal couldn’t find it in him to care. It was getting harder to breathe again as the stims reached the end of their efficiency. BD hopped on his knee as Bode began the pre-flight sequence and trilled at him sadly. Despite the burn moving incurred, he raised a hand to pat BD on his head in what he hoped was a reassuring gesture. There was an inquisitive beep, but he couldn’t focus enough to translate the binary.

“Try not to die on me,” said Bode as the fighter lurched into the sky. “I’ll never get the smell out.”

Cal wanted to laugh, but the movement of the ship taking off lurched badly in his chest, and the world faded away to black instead.

The blackness was not calm or peaceful. Stuck in the darkness, Cal burned. There were hands on him, and voices around him, but through it all he fell apart in flames. He burned on Jedha, standing next to Cordova while he contemplated a ruin. He burned on the Mantis, listening to Cere explain an obscure bit of Jedi lore. He burned on Tanalorr, dying as Dagan and Santari watched with impassive faces. Again and again he fell through the blackness of the galaxy as the flames grew hotter and hotter around him, licking at his hair and crawling over his skin.

When he woke, he took it as a pleasant surprise. The fact that Greez was hovering only about a foot away from his face was definitely less pleasant, but at least Cal had experience with Greez’ odd wake up calls over the years.

“Oh look he’s awake. Okay kid, before you even try to get up; yes, everyone is fine. Yes, you got the compass. No, we can’t use it to go to Tanalorr right this second, its broken. No, you may not get out of bed. Think that just about covers it, you can go back to sleep now,” said Greez, one of his four arms already pressing Cal into the mattress in anticipation.

Unfortunately for Greez, Cal had adrenaline and the Force on his side. He pushed his way upright despite Greez’ hold and took in his surroundings. He was in the basement room of Pyloon’s Saloon. There was no mistaking the echoes of comfort and warmth that surrounded him here. It was not just the two of them in the room either. Bode was leaning against the wall near the stairs up to the saloon, and Merrin was sitting on the floor surrounded by what looked like the contents of a rather large medkit. Both of them were watching Cal with an intensity that made him look away. And realize he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He surreptitiously tried tugging the blanket a little higher, which was made difficult by the fact that BD-1 had hopped up onto the bed and was hovering by his knees.

“The compass?” asked Cal.

“Did you not hear me? It’s broken, but Muscles over there thinks it’s not as bad as the other two. Cordova can probably fix it.”

“Then we have to go to Jedha,” said Cal, swinging his legs over the side of the bunk and tried to stand.

All the occupants in the room lurched forward as Cal moved, and he didn’t have to wonder why. Fire burned across his chest and his vision wobbled. Distantly he felt hands on his body moving him back down into the bed. One ruffled gently through his hair before pulling away.

“That’s why I said you should go back to sleep,” said Greez once Cal started breathing like a human and not panting like a loth cat stuck on Tatooine.

“You should listen to Greez. Unless of course, you would like to join my sisters and fight at my calling,” added Merrin.

Cal couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face at her words, even though he still hurt. He glanced over to see her approaching with two bacta patches in hand.

“It is time to change the dressing on your wound. Unless, of course, you would like another giant scar.”

“I think I’ll take the bacta, thanks,” said Cal.

Merrin replaced Greez at his side and sat down on the edge of the bunk. Cal had approximately thirty seconds to appreciate that Merrin would sit with him and care for him and how lucky he was to have someone so beautiful and kind in his life before she ripped off the bacta patches over his wound without any pretense or warning. Cal yet out an undignified yelp, making Bode and Merrin both chuckle. He took it all back, he did not want Merrin playing nursemaid ever again. She just might kill him with her version of care.  

“Ow,” groaned Cal.

“Don’t be such a baby,” teased Merrin. “It hurts more if you do it slow.”

At least she was gentler when replacing the bacta. Her fingertips smoothed the patches against his wound just below his collarbones and he could feel his cheeks getting warmer and warmer every time she grazed his skin. He could feel the amusement coming off of Greez and Bode and kept his eyes trained adamantly on the ceiling until Merrin finished putting on the bacta at last.

“There. Now you must stay in bed and rest,” said Merrin.

“But, the compass-“

“I’ve got it. Don’t worry, I’ll keep it safe until these two let you out of bed,” said Bode. “Taking it to Jedha can wait a few more days.”

Cal sighed. “I can sleep on the Mantis on the way there.”

“Sure, if you can walk yourself to the Mantis, we’ll go,” said Greez, arms folded and daring him to try it.

Cal began to swing his legs towards the edge of the bed again, but this time both Merrin and Greez stopped him before he moved more than a few inches.

“We don’t have to do that again, thank you very much. You already proved my point earlier,” grumbled Greez as he pushed Cal’s legs back into place on the bunk. “BD, you’re in charge of keeping him there.”

BD beeped an affirmative and sat himself on top of Cal’s ankles. The little traitor.

“I’d like to go record a story for Kata since we have some time here,” said Bode. “Rest up, Scrapper.”

“I should return the items that are not needed to their proper owners. Medical supplies are always needed here,” said Merrin, gesturing towards the pile of bandages and other assorted medical things strewn across the floor.

The two of them left slowly, Bode helping Merrin with her armload of supplies. Cal watched them go with a bit of jealousy. He hated being stuck in bed. He sighed and slumped against the pillows, resigned to staring up at the flat, boring bottom of the upper bunk for the foreseeable future when suddenly a slice of bread slathered in meiloorun jelly appeared in front of his face.

“If you’re not going to go back to sleep you may as well eat something,” said Greez, waving the bread in front of Cal’s nose as if trying to entice an animal out of its lair.

Cal snatched it from his grip using a little tug from the force to bring the bread into his hand. The offended look on Greez’ face made him smile as he bit into the bread. Meiloorun jelly wasn’t his favourite, but as soon as it touched his tongue his stomach rumbled loudly and he devoured the bread like a ravenous rancor.

“You know I hate it when you do that,” said Greez, flapping his hand like he’d dipped it in something unpleasant.

“Got any more?” asked Cal around the last mouthful.

“Yeah, upstairs. That was the last bit of my lunch I’ll have you know,” said Greez.

Usually Greez was eager to feed anyone who asked, but now he remained still, perched on the edge of the bunk. They sat in silence, and just when Cal had given up on getting more food and  was thinking he might actually drift off, Greez began talking again.

“Remember when you showed up here a few months ago and I said you looked terrible?”

“Yeah.”

“You look worse now,” said Greez.

Except he wasn’t looking at Cal. Instead, he was watching one of the plants across the room. His hands worried at each other where they rested in his lap.

“Thanks,” said Cal, sarcasm dripping from the word.

“No, ah blast it. Cal, you remember when we all split up?” asked Greez.

“How could I forget,” replied Cal with a frown. It had been one of the worst days of his life, behind the Purge, Prauf’s death, and Vader. The fight, the others all walking away. It was awful.

“I said I wanted to get away from trouble, settle down, find a cantina that needed a cook. But that wasn’t all of it. We did so many missions together. And every time you came back just a little more bruised, a little more bloody. Call me a coward but I didn’t want to be there the day you didn’t come back at all.”

“Greez, I-“

“No, nope, you let me finish,” said Greez, waving a hand to make Cal shut up. “I left you the Mantis because it felt like that way I could keep you safe even if I wasn’t there. Then you show up with the big guy and I think great, finally someone who can keep up with your nonsense and keep you out of trouble. Then three days ago he drags your ass in here having met the wrong end of a lightsaber and being most of the way to dead. Exactly what I wanted to avoid when I left you gallivanting around the galaxy. You’re damn lucky that you’ve endeared yourself enough to everyone on this rock or you’d be pushing up Dathomirian daisies by now.”

“I’ve been out for three days?” asked Cal.

Greez threw up his hands and hopped off the edge of the bed. “Great, I pour my heart out, and what does he actually catch? The fact that he’s been asleep for three days. Can you believe it?”

BD trilled that he certainly could.

Guilt bubbled up inside Cal. He hadn’t meant it like that. It was just alarming to know he’d missed so much time that they didn’t have.

“Thanks for looking out for me, Greez,” said Cal quietly just as Greez took a breath to get going on another lecture.

He watched Greez deflate with an exasperated sigh. For a moment Cal could see the age on his face as he ran a hand down it and over one of his braided mutton chops. Then it was gone, replaced with the usual unaffected expression Greez favoured.

“Well someone has to, seeing as you’ve proven you have never even heard the words ‘self-care’ before. Seriously, between you and Cere I have my doubts about Jedi education,” said Greez.

Cal smiled, glad to see that Greez bounced back despite the still heavy air in the room.

“They tended to prioritize learning about how to read someone through the Force over relaxation techniques. Except for meditation. The crèche masters were really into meditation,” said Cal, letting a teasing tone slip into his voice.

Greez shot him a look. “Don’t you try and do any of that Force magic mind-reading crap on me or you won’t be getting any more food from the saloon.”

“I won’t. Merrin on the other hand...”

“Fine, I see how it is. Alright, don’t you move. I’ll be right back with some more bread in a minute, if you promise you’ll stay in bed until you’ve healed up.”

“It’s okay, Greez. I’m not going to vanish if you leave for a few minutes.”

With that Greez went up the stairs mumbling to himself about kids and heart attacks. Cal listened to him go, smiling to himself. The burn of the saber wound still ached, but his chest felt warm with something else, something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He turned his attention to the little droid still perched on his ankles.

“What do you say BD, think we could sneak out?”

There was a loud, adamant no in response.

“Yeah, you’re right. Guess we’re going to be stuck here a while, huh?”

BD let out a series of beeps in response before settling down on Cal’s ankles like a little metal tooka.

“You’re right buddy. Not like I can do much right now.”

Lightsaber wounds karking sucked. They burned no matter how much bacta was put on them, and scarred no matter what. Even now, as Cal settled into the bunk it rippled agony through his chest. But still, there was something nice about being able to just exist for a moment without being expected to jump straight to the next thing without taking a breath. Maybe one day, when they finally reached Tanalorr, he’d get Greez to teach him about this whole self-care thing.

[muggle-born-princess]

Reblog if you're LGBT and are against MAPS/Child Groomers

[yeah-thats-probably-it]

Hot take maybe but I think Bertie would be FAR more likely to survive the first two months of Dracula than Jeeves would be. Bertie has a healthy sense of self-preservation. Jeeves consistently underestimates how dangerous a situation might get (Steeple Bumpleigh, the club book) because he’s overconfident about his level of control over any given situation. He'd handle Dracula masterfully if they faced off in England, but on Dracula's home turf? Much more doubtful.

I realize this might be a tough sell, so I will explain further (or it's not a tough sell, and I'm going to explain further because I want to). (criteria taken from @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula) Without further ado.

Would Jeeves and Wooster survive Castle Dracula?

Jeeves

Jeeves' survival will depend on how long Dracula finds him more entertaining than irritating. On that basis, I don't think he's long for this world. On the one hand, he has a huge wealth of knowledge about English society and culture that he can recite perfectly from memory. That should buy him at least a little time with noted teaboo Dracula.

On the other hand, he would be absolutely no fun as a vampire plaything. Jeeves cannot be got. Sneaking up on him while he's shaving will yield zero reaction (though that's at least good for his short-term survival--given that, although he DID take the crucifix from the old woman out of politeness, he certainly isn't going to wear it. The rules of fashion don't go out the window just because you're in a spooky castle). Then, although managing the whims of rich jerks is not an insignificant part of a valet's job, Jeeves usually does this by bending his employers to his will. Dracula is not the sort of employer this will work on. It'll just add insult to injury when on top of being impossible to scare, NOW Jeeves is telling Dracula that his favorite cloak is several centuries out of fashion and he's not allowed to wear it anymore.

Jeeves will 100% go exploring in the areas he was told not to go-- though to be fair, he MIGHT actually get away with this, what with his superpower of appearing in rooms without being seen or heard. Said superpower might save him from the brides as well (though this is by no means guaranteed). Since I find it doubtful that Dracula would come to rescue his annoying ass, not being noticed is his best defense.

There are a couple other things working in Jeeves's favor; the question is just whether they'll be enough to save him.

He DOES know shorthand, and could try to send coded letters. He might even have the foresight to squirrel away some extra stationary where Dracula can't find it. But could he get them posted? Would it even do him any good?

He certainly has enough cultural literacy to figure out what his new boss is pretty quickly. If he didn't chuck the crucifix out the carriage window, he might start carrying it around in his pocket.

Psychology of the individual, sure, but the individual in question is a 400-year-old vampire who lives in an isolated castle in a foreign country and is regarded as a terrifying mythological figure in the surrounding villages. Jeeves has never come up against anything this alien before, he's cut off from his normal resources, and opportunities to play people against each other are limited.

He probably has enough upper body strength from all that shrimping and fishing to climb the wall, so he COULD escape if he wanted to, if he survived long enough. It's just, again, that overconfidence, and also Dracula has a vast library full of rare old books that are entirely at his disposal. He's keeping his eyes and ears alert for potential escape strategies, of course, but I don't see him being as desperate to get out as Jonathan was.

There are just a lot of "depends on"s here, and I'm not convinced that luck would shake out in Jeeves's favor, all things considered.

Bertie

Bertie is so perfect for the job of Castle Dracula Prisoner it's like it was made for him. Think about it. Being held against his will in big manor houses comes more naturally to him than breathing. He's afraid of things that are scary. A lifetime of dealing with Aunt Agatha has made him the world's preeminent expert in "curl[ing] up in a ball in the hope that a meek subservience [will] enable [him] to get off lightly." He will NEVER go exploring in places he's been warned away from if nobody is forcing him to (Rev. Aubrey Upjohn's office notwithstanding. There were biscuits in there). He's both fun to talk to and easy to toy with (and extremely English). A+ prisoner. Dracula adores him.

In my opinion, Bertie is at Castle Dracula either because Aunt Agatha got some wires seriously crossed and thinks he’s going to meet an eligible potential bride (I mean, there are certainly brides there), or because Dracula has something Aunt Dahlia wants him to steal (far less likely, given that one of Dracula’s THINGS is famously not owning anything silver). Either way, he's shown himself entirely willing and able to escape down drainpipes if a sitch gets too scaly.

He DOES take the crucifix, and DOES wear it (which is what will save him during the shaving scene, because you KNOW he's going to jump a foot and cut himself like the dickens). He's read enough supernatural goosefleshers to be genre savvy about terrified old women cryptically pushing crucifixes into one's hands. I also think his sunny disposish endeared him to the villagers, and they were particularly vehement about urging him not to go. He doesn't speak German or Romanian, but he's empathetic enough to recognize Pure Terror. So by the time he actually gets to the castle, his imagination is already running wild and he's plenty aware that he is in imminent danger.

I think the biggest risk to Bertie will be the brides; whether or not he's susceptible to trances, if he thinks they're trying to marry him, it's against the code of the Woosters to turn them down. But that only becomes an issue if he comes face to face with them, which, luckily, I think is unlikely on account of the aforementioned "won't go exploring" (and if he did, Dracula would definitely rescue him).

I'm inclined to say due to his drainpipe-escape habits that he WOULD be able to climb the wall and MAY attempt to sneak into Dracula's room to look for the keys if his desperation grows to outweigh his fear. Whether he does or not, though, he does NOT have the stomach to attempt shovel murder, and therefore won't get magic brain fever, and may very well simply walk out the front doors when the people come to take the boxes away. OR he climbs his way out like Jonathan did. Either way.

When Bertie tells this story at the Drones later, Tuppy will say that no doubt it's been greatly exaggerated and all that probably happened was that he spent a couple months in an oldish house entertaining a weird loner.

[vaxxildamn]

finally…… the legendary Level 20 Scissor Gal-adin

[spoopdeedoop]

not immune to dsmp nostalgia

[liimonadas]

im actually obsessed with 2-4 phoenix he is tired of all this bullshit. i love how he does not say a word for like 5 minutes after edgeworth enters the room