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toji-sweetheart · 1 month

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tags: 18+ only content - mdni + fem reader + modern au + explicit smut + breeding kink + ass slapping + blowjob that turns into 69+ he's in love with you + repost

Toji watches you.

You could be doing the most mundane things, and his eyes were following you. That's how he found out you wanted a baby.

It was obvious.

Anytime the two of you passed by a pregnant woman, you'd look at her belly then him. "We'd have a cute baby." You murmured kissing him.

Or in the store when you'd pass by the racks of newborn clothes in all sorts of designs and patterns cooing at the onesies. "Look, baby!"

Even though you weren't pregnant, you still stopped to look before moving on to get what was actually needed. On the way home, you babbled about him getting you pregnant.

Toji found himself thinking about you round and swollen with his baby.

It was an image that plagued his mind.

He loves you more than anything, and he knew you wanted a baby, so why would he deny you?

The more you two kept seeing families around, it seemed the women were always pregnant while the dad was pushing a stroller with a toddler in the seat cooing and babbling about something.

When you got home from work later that week, you collapsed on the bed tired and exhausted where Toji was lounging after his own long day. "Let's order dinner tonight, baby, I'm not really in the mood to cook anything." You groaned softly when you rolled over to your side.

Toji pulled his arm out from under his head to open it up and let you nuzzle into his side, your face buried in his chest. "I already got it in. I got your favorite." He grumbled, his voice thick with unshed emotion.

You knew he wasn't one to talk about his feelings so more times than not you had to push a little bit to get him to open up. "You're so sweet, I love you." You murmured softly looking at him warmly.

Your thumb traced his scar as you smiled and cocked your head a little to the side. "What are you thinking about?" You prompted.

He rubbed at his jaw and leaned in to kiss you deeply, his lips molded against yours perfectly. "Putting a baby in you." He replied gruffly.

"Oh...oh...a baby?" You asked sitting up more as you tucked your legs under you as you gripped his shirt feeling excitement bubble through your veins as you bounced up and down grinning wildly.

Toji couldn't help but smile and shake his head as you leaned down to kiss him this time. "As of now you are my little crybaby, but been think' about you pregnant and walkin' around the house naked."

Your eyes widened and your pussy grew its own heartbeat at his words. "Ah-Toji!-really? Are you sure?" You asked feeling his palms slide under your shirt to trace patterns along your back.

He nodded and watched you crawl off the bed to tear your clothes off until you were bare at the side of the mattress as you dropped down on your hands smiling slyly at your husband who spread his legs.

A smile tugged his lips back as he watched you hook your fingers under the band of his boxers looking at him with your own smirk while you pulled the fabric down so you could kiss his belly.

Your lips trailed around his pelvic bone listening to him suck in a breath as you ran your fingertips over the head that was sticky with pre-cum. "I'm sure, now why don't you sit down on my cock."

His voice was thick was desire and want as his hands roamed over your skin pulling to create a pull of pleasure that made your skin simmer with need. "But why can't I just suck you off first?"

Toji didn't say anything but spread his legs wider to let you lay between them, your fingers wrapped around his shaft once you got comfortable, and jerked him off slowly from base to tip teasingly.

Leaning in you inhaled his musk and kissed the sticky slit dipping your tongue in the hole before wrapping your lips around him. "Just like that, look so good 'f me with my cock in your mouth like that."

His words went straight to your pulsing core as you dropped down more taking the rest of what you could fit in the back of your throat, your cheeks swollen and lips bulging trying to fit him inside.

It didn't take long before Toji manhandled you to sit on his face, your thighs squeezing his head as his hands gripped your ass spreading it open making it easier for him to slurp at your wet pussy.

Your back arched when his tongue swirled over your clit before he sucked on it with precision, your husband knew the art of seducing you and how to get you right where he wanted.

The sounds of you both pleasuring each other sounded out, your gagging and sputtering filled his ears as did the blood that rushed drowning everything out as he buried his face in your cunt now.

He didn't miss any inch of your pussy that drooled, spit, and your slick pooled and dribbled out of the corners of his mouth as his hands made sure to grope and grip each patch of bare skin he could touch as you bobbed up and down the length of his cock.

"Don't want to cum in that pretty mouth of yours, why don't you sit my pussy down on me, mhm?" Toji asked cracking his open hand on your ass loving how you moaned around him as you ground your hips.

You giggled with spit bubbles when you pulled off him completely cock drunk as you scrambled off to straddle his hips again letting the tip of his dick press against you as he helped you sit up more.

Toji's palms melted like butter in a hot pan against your bare chest when you slipped your shirt off as he rubbed the bulbous head against your fluttering hole, the both of you holding a breath.

Slowly he pushed in letting you get used to the stretch, it always was to take him, no matter the amount of prepping you were sure to gasp and cry out his name. "Toji! Fuck! You're so big!" You moaned throwing your head back when he bottomed out.

The both of you let out unbridled moans from the bliss that shot up your spine, leaning down you kissed him grinding your hips back and forth catching your clit on his pelvic bone as you slid your fingers into his hair curling into the soft locks as the kiss was deepened.

He grunted in your mouth, his tongue sliding against yours feeling your pussy flutter and try to milk him, the tip kissed your cervix almost when he rested his feet flat on the bed fucking up into you.

His hands stayed on your back before they drifted down to your ass squeezing the fat of both cheeks then he took turns slapping each one as you began to bounce up and down moaning his name.

Toji wanted to video-record you.

Seeing you so obsessed with him, your fingers tracing his chest as you fucked him back, your head titled back with loud pornographic moans pouring from your mouth as he circled your clit with his thumb, you looked so good on top of him, fucking him like you want.

The hand that wasn't between where you two connected palmed your tit then pinched your nipple hearing you whine and feeling your cunt squeeze him like a vice now. "Cum inside me! Give me a baby!"

He also enjoyed hearing you beg him for something so lewd, the way you tried to trigger his orgasm when yours hit you like a ton of bricks, your hips stuttered on top of him as you squealed and gasped.

His hands wouldn't stay off your ass as he helped you bounce up and down his cock like a toy almost, at this point his head was full with one thing, and hearing the wet squelching had his sack tightening.

Then you felt it.

Toji's cock throbbed with its own heartbeat each time with each string of cum that filled you so hot and thick as his mouth latched onto your neck sucking on the pulse point while holding you tightly to him as he made sure he emptied himself inside you.

"You're going to make such a good mom." He whispered letting his hand fall down to your belly rubbing small circles where your future children will grow.

That night seemed to play like a movie in your head ever since it happened and that was weeks ago, but somehow you can't stop thinking about it no matter how hard you tried.

Then came the missed period and sore boobs, your grumpiness was something that Toji caught onto quickly, and the fact that you wouldn't let him slap your ass whenever he walked by.

"Are you pregnant?" He asked leaning against the bathroom doorframe as you brushed your teeth. Four weeks later after that night, it all came to light when a roll of sickness washed over you.

Morning sickness was next.

You sighed and put your toothbrush up before reaching into the cabinet for a pregnancy test that you kept on hand just in case.

His eyes followed your form as you read the instructions and let him stay in the bathroom as you took the test and washed your hands. The both of you stared down at the white plastic stick waiting.

Toji snaked his arms around your waist resting his chin on your shoulder as he pulled you closer to him, the silence suffocating as the seconds ticked by only for two lines to show up. "Are you pregnant?"

"Yes! Two lines mean positive!" You squealed turning around in his arms as you jumped up letting him catch you making it easier for you to pepper his face in wet kisses as tears poured down your cheeks.

He held you tighter to him feeling a sense of pride swell in his chest along with a mixture of excitement and fear of the idea of becoming a father but with you by his side, he knows he'll make it just fine.

feedback such as comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, those kind words mean a lot and encourage me to do more writing ♡

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heck-theo · 3 months

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Okokokokok- ignore how rough and messy some of these redraws/sketches are - but it's apparently also dinosaur month?? (WHY did no one ever tell me it's Jurassic June? I love dinosaurs) And like. What if Rise but dinosaurs?!

I don't often post such loose sketches but I wanted to show these off cause I really like some of this.

Design choices and dino species + the reasons I picked them bellow (looking for potential Donnie dino suggestions):

Clothes: Without the shell they really need clothes. They'd all have pretty much the same pants to keep some unity, except maybe Mikey (I decided they should all have the same pants after I finished the Mikey sketches, not sure if I'll keep the shorts or change to pants). Accessories are a mix of pre and post finale.

Raph - I think would keep it simple and practical but would also wear nice jackets and stuff when in casual situations. I need to work on giving him an alternative outfit and tweak his accessories a bit.

Donnie - An oversized pull-over hoodie cause we already know he loves that shit. We see him wearing it all the time. Easy enough. He wears a comfortable singlet underneath so the straps of his battle sail don't rub. Nice soft fabric, tight fit so it doesn't move around, tucks it into his pants, etc. When he wears the battle sail he won't overheat so he can wear hoodies basically all year round.

Leo - He's in one of those shirts with obnoxiously large arm holes and make it cropped cause 1. I think he would 2. I want it to be different from Raph and Donnie's singlets. He usually wears the shoulder strap off his shoulder but pulls it up when he needs to. He has some of the black bandages over his mid drift atm but I might just make his pants super high waisted in the final version. He'd probably wear a bomber jacket (also cropped?) over the top for cool weather, but doesn't like to hide his feathers.

Mikey - I think he'd mostly wear hand me downs when he's younger. He definitely goes through a stage of rebelling and wanting to pick his own and would find a middle ground of appreciating sharing some of his brother's clothes and modifying them, as long as he has the choice of his own available. Not sure if that would be before or after this design. At the moment he's got Raph's old shorts (from a loooong time ago), Leo's old shirt, and Donnie's old zip up hoodie. He does have his own accessories though, including pins instead of stickers.

Dinosaurs: I kept them all as non-avian dinosaurs, AKA not including animals that are colloquially considered dinos but aren't (like pterosaurs). I wanted to keep an even split of herbivore vs carnivore just so one wasn't the odd one out. I wanted to keep most of their body structure, colours and distinguishing features the same as canon. Obviously I added tails cause, yeah, of course haha. I did want them to be recognisable as different species of dino using distinct characteristics that their species is known for. I did ignore a lot of differences though, like size and bipedal vs quadruped (although the quadrupeds might be more likely to go to all fours, especially when fighting or afraid). Leo and Donnie are carnivores so have sharper teeth and claws.

Raph - Some kind of Ceratopsian (likely Triceratops or something very similar) and he was the first idea I had for this and I'm really happy with it. I think it just suits him. Trike Raph just came to me in an unprecedented moment of genius. His spikey frill replicates his spikey shell. His sturdiness, protectiveness and willingness to kick ass when needed, all scream trike to me.

Donnie - Spinosaurus but looking for other species recommendations. More details below: So I wanted to figure out a way for him to have tech with a similar function to his battle shell (in the sense that it's something that helped him in day to day life) and so I went with spino cause one possible theory about a function of spinosaurus' sail is temperature regulation. So his battle sail has heating/cooling systems as well as other tech. A spino's sail was probably not fragile but the battle sail would also help protect it from being targeted during fights or crushed during extreme impacts. It was also thought to be used for display, and what's more of a display than a battle sail? The only problem I have with this is that it's lacking part of what makes Donnie's battle shell so great, which is that it is essentially a prosthetic. Not quite the same as how prosthetics are used in people of course, just in the sense that it is replicating the functionality of a body part that he doesn't have (I can't think of a better word). Well he does have a shell but it doesn't function in the same way that his brothers shells do, which leaves him with less defense than they have, hence a big reason for the battle shell (I hope I explained this well, it was hard to try and word properly). I can't think of a good way to do this with dinos. I was thinking of a carno or something with tiny arms, then Donnie could have tech enhanced arms but I'm pretty much ignoring body structure in the others so it would be weird to have just Donnie be affected by a difference in limb structure/functionality. I was thinking prosthetic tail but every non avian dinosaur had a pretty substantial tail. Except therizinosaurus but even they hade pretty obvious tails. I'm open to suggestions for this one if anyone has ideas. It does have to be an extinct non-avian dinosaur (anything not in Avialae), preferably carnivore but if someone suggests a really good herbivore or omnivore then I can try and swap Mikey for a carnivore. I want there to be an even split. I also wanted to give him something different on his face, like his brothers, and that could only be a little spino crest and it crowds the top of his head but I can't put it anywhere else...

Leo - A type of Dromaeosaur. I was tossing up between this and a dilophosaur where his red stripes were part of the dilo's crest, cause I wasn't sure about giving him feathers. But dilo Leo was so plain compared to the rest and the crests were hard to get looking right so I went back to raptor Leo. I can definitely imagine him literally and metaphorically preening his feathers too. You can't really see it but he does also have that big raptor claw. Raptors were smart, tactical and worked in packs so I think that suits him. I wasn't specifically referencing how some artists draw Leo's stripes coming off his face (I was just trying to replicate his stripes somehow, even though it doesn't make a huge amount of sense) but I realised afterwards that it kinda looks like that and might have been subconsciously inspired by it.

Mikey - Is an Ankylosaur. I'm pretty happy with the species but I need to work out the design of his armour plating so that it looks interesting, cool and protective but isn't too chunky, too pointy or super lumpy looking. I went with an anky cause Mikey is often hiding in his shell and he can't do the same here but he could curl up in a defensive ball. Plus I could imagine him using his tail club in his razzmatazz fighting style. A little like his kusari-fundo or nunchacku/nunchucks (not sure on proper wording).

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aledmorningstar · 6 months

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╰┈➤Bad joke

Summary: Sukuna discovers that you don't like jokes.

Relationship: Ryomen Sukuna/Reader

Word count: 1.8k

Note: Slow updates, my editor and I are in a fight with my university administrators.

-‘๑’-: No curses au, uni au, sfw, humor, fluff, slight angst

The terrible hours of class had finally ended, the hard day of university had culminated its torture at 6:00 pm, every day you reconsidered the idea of continuing studying so intensely, did you really need that university degree?

Without a doubt, life sounded more beautiful in an imaginary world, being a pretty housewife who patiently waited for her millionaire husband who loved her madly, your days would be spent helping your children with their homework and wasting an unreasonable amount of money on any whim.

“We've told you to stop daydreaming, it could be dangerous in the wrong places.”

Your daydream was interrupted by one of your best friends, it seemed like your group of friends had already finished putting away their belongings and were just waiting for you to leave the classroom.

"Oh I'm sorry. I was just thinking about the future."

“Is the young lady returning to the fantasy of married life with her impolite boyfriend?”

"Hey! I already told you not to talk about him like that."

You argue while you put your notebooks and computer in your bag, the one that your boyfriend Ryomen had given you on your birthday even though you told him that a gift was not necessary, you knew how difficult it must be for him and how limited which can sometimes be the money in your situation; his mother, playing the role of both parents and trying to provide a bright future for her children; Yuji, his twin who had to complete several courses to be a firefighter and also study a Bachelor's degree in automotive mechanics; and finally Ryomen himself, who had to complete his university career as a lawyer.

It was definitely not easy for him or his family, unlike you, who had lived the life of a princess in an imaginary bubble impenetrable by the dangers and worries of reality. Even though you had insisted on helping that modest family financially, you were not allowed to do so. Both Sukuna and his brother and mother refused to accept a cent of your generous support, saying that they did not want to take advantage of your kindness. That did not stop them from you gave expensive gifts to each one on special dates.

Maybe that was the reason behind that expensive gift from your boyfriend, one day he simply listened to you talk about that beautiful designer bag that was going to become fashionable with its next release on sale, he used all his savings and even did part-time jobs, washing cars, walking dogs, helping model clothes for the fashion design department; just to be able to see a cute and excited smile on your face.

You are a princess, the most beautiful flower he could find and of course he would give you everything you deserve, everything that fine society has given you and he does his best so that you do not have any lack by his side, to be worthy of you.

You didn't have the heart to tell him that you had pre-ordered that bag thanks to your father's contacts and that you had to refund it, angering some merchants for their wasted efforts.

“Hurry up, if we don't get to the cafe on time the tables will be full.”

Like every Friday you and your friends got together to talk about the latest news in your lives, your social circle was mostly made up of girls just as privileged as you, it wasn't difficult for your father to convince you to choose a career in law, much less make you enter one of the most demanding and prestigious schools in the country.

Your friends are good girls, you knew that otherwise you wouldn't have even looked at them; However, like you, they were overprotected and followed the sophisticated rules that society had imposed on them. This was one of the reasons why they didn't quite agree with your relationship with Ryomen Sukuna, a commoner in their eyes.

Like any conversation between friends, the topic of boys and relationships could not be avoided, a topic in which you came to light with your strange relationship of “opposite poles”, the little princess of the city and the delinquent of the campus, it was the funniest and most interesting experiment your friends could witness.

“So… How is our little princess's relationship going? Did he already ruin it?”

Of course there were going to be silly comments that doubted that your relationship was authentic and that waited for the slightest mistake from your boyfriend to shout in your face “I told you so.”

"No and he won't, you don't know my 'kuna"

“We know his history”

Even though all your friends were always supportive and kind to you, there was one in particular who wasn't very nice. Ann, always making sarcastic comments and believing herself to be better than everyone, everyone could see how jealous she was of you; She had been the last to join the group, one day you saw her alone and decided to integrate her into your group, unfortunately you never found the words to tell her that you no longer wanted to be her friend.

“Come on, darling, everyone here remembers how your relationship began.”

“He has changed, he is not the same person he was before, he is a new man”

Sure, your relationship may not have started off in the most convincing way possible, there were lies, misunderstandings and a lot of tears, but everything is different now. Now you have the romance that any girl could dream of, one full of love, affection and trust of those you only find in books, you would have your happily ever after.

“Well, I'll wait for your bad boy to do one of his things and don't say I didn't warn you.”

"When pigs fly, that's not going to happen"

The atmosphere had frozen in an awkward silence as you and Ann exchanged a big forced smile, it was strange to see you angry because of your sweet personality, but it would certainly be even stranger not to see you jump into an argument that included Ryomen Sukuna's name, you are his unofficial lawyer.

“Okay girls, let's talk about something else…”

╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝

You love Fridays, the best day of the week, since you could sleep over at your loved one's house and enjoy the weekend in his arms watching movies, doing puzzles, taking photos, listening to music, talking, watching videos, going out on dates, ordering takeout or even when he played a video game on the console and you were left coloring the pictures he printed for you (sometimes he needs his space).

That Friday the drawings were finished quickly, so you decided to watch some videos on your tiktok while Sukuna played a video game that you only knew had weapons because of the shots. The videos on your fyp were about pranks between couples (something that amused you), some light and others a little harsh.

Sukuna was someone who was a joker, someone who liked to make jokes but couldn't stand having one played on him; However, you were a couple, a slight joke between you could be kind of funny, it wasn't even a funny joke you just wanted to see how funny his reaction could be.

A message made Sukuna's phone ring, you thought it was the perfect time for your little act as you held back your laughter.

“Who is sending you so many messages? You have another girl, right?”

Your comment surprised Sukuna slightly, you weren't the jealous type, he looked at you for a split second and that was enough for him to know you were joking, he can play too.

"Oh my love. It's not even one girl, they´re five precious ones."

The amused smile that adorned your face disappeared in an instant, being replaced by a strange grimace, your eyes glistening from the tears that formed and that you refused to let go as you bit your trembling lower lip, preventing any sound.

"Really?"

“Of course, pretty. I'm too cool to stay with just one girl."

Memories of your conversation with Ann invaded your mind, Sukuna Ryomen had a past that was difficult to overcome, would he really change overnight for you?

Your boyfriend quickly realized that you had started packing your belongings back into your suitcase, why would you do that? The plan was that you would stay with him like every weekend, what was happening?

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?”

Well, you had dropped a little bomb that exploded in your face and you didn't like it, but you wouldn't let him notice that it dealt a low blow at least for you.

“I'm just putting my things away. “Can you pass me my colored pencils?”

Sukuna decided to make the difficult decision to abandon his game and pay attention to the seemingly serious situation that was occurring with his beloved.

He did as you asked, you put away your colored pencils next to your other belongings with quick movements and finally wrote something furiously on your phone.

“I asked you a question, what are you doing?”

“Nothing… I'm asking my driver to come pick me up.”

"Now?"

“Yes, now. In fact I'm writing to him 'Please hurry up, I want to leave here right now, come as fast as you can'”

You could barely feel the force and speed with which Ryomen snatched the phone from your hands, he stood up and placed your phone on one of the highest pieces of furniture in the living room.

"Why would you do that?"

"What do you mean why? Did you hear what you said earlier?”

The hardest question you can ask a man, ask him the reason why his girlfriend was angry. The pink-haired man's reasoning quickly went to work.

Connect the dots, you had gotten angry within a period of 5 minutes, you weren't angry with him before that time, all he had done was play video games. Had that bothered you? No, he had given you drawings of your favorite characters to entertain you, the only thing he had done besides playing had been answering your joke... Oh.

“Ah, that's it.”

“Is that all you will say?”

Okay, a mental note for Sukuna: You like making jokes, you don't like having them made or returned to you. You're a crybaby, but he still loves you.

“Sorry, love, it was a joke. You know that I only love you, you are the only girl who occupies my heart, the owner of my soul and my body, I would kill for you, ask me to kill for you."

Ryomen approached to hug you from behind, he placed one of his hands on your abdomen and one on your shoulder, crossing your chest to bring you closer to him, you could feel his breath on your neck and after a few seconds you shivered from the kisses he gave you. he left on your cheek.

“I didn't find your joke funny.”

“In my defense, you started joking that I had another woman. You’re a baby, jokes aren’t your thing, darling.”

The look on your face made him feel like he had just kicked a puppy, his solution was to carry you back to the couch and hold you in his arms.

"I'm sorry baby. You can choose the movie we watch today, deal?”

"Deal"

⋆·˚ ༘ *🔭 master list is here

#aledthinks #jjk x reader #jjk drabbles #jujustsu kaisen x reader #ryomen sukuna #drabble #sukuna x reader #sukuna x you #jjk sukuna #sukuna #jjk fluff #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #fluff

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moonyswarmsweaters · 4 months

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Consider: Regulus Black with SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder)

Regulus Black who is called spoiled for not agreeing to wear certain fabric because it feels like they peel of his skin but no one understands

Regulus Black with no tags on his designs clothes

Regulus black who pre- transition hated having his long hair brushed because of the feeling and would only let his brother do it until he finally cut it short

Regulus Black who is always called a ‘vampire’ for sitting in the dark a lot but they don’t understand that it’s TOO BRIGHT

Regulus Black with not a single smooth ring, all textured for those times

Regulus Black who hates surprise touches, who actually barely minds physical touch from his loved ones but has to see it coming before. Who love warm heavy hugs (which are James’ specialty) but hates a sudden touch, pushing people away when it happens and often make them get the wrong message.

Regulus Black who don’t go to parties because all the different sounds physically hurt him

Regulus Black with the same 3 outfits on repeat

Regulus Black with SPD everybody

might add more later - feel free to add your own!

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queenpiranhadon · 6 months

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Hello! You commented on my post about my dream request so here it goes...

Pro Hero! Dynamite is dating Underground Pro Hero! Y/N. He doesn't know she's a hero, doesn’t even know she has a quirk. She has a "job" where she can travel a lot; a model for Mitsuki & Masura (they know, because parent instincts). Anyway, YN gets sent on a lot of missions with Pro Hero! Deku since he's one of the few who likes working with everybody. Dynamite sees how close they are and is seething, and end ups turning it into a huge fight.

(i woke up at this point but pls make it comfort if you can)

thank you in advance!!🫶🏾🫶🏾

A/N: Idk if this is what you wanted but I loved this prompt so much!! Big thanks to @zanarkandskylines for beta reading and editing this I owe you so much 😭 Here's my masterlist!

Warning(s): f!reader, Katsuki and reader are dating. and they live together, reader is an underground pro hero with a pre-established quirk, mentions of blood, Katsuki thinks reader is cheating on him with Deku, angst to fluff, characters might be a little ooc, mentions of passing out, reader cries a lot, Katsuki does too, Katsuki almost kicks reader out, cursing, Katsuki calls reader princess.

Pairing: Pro Hero! Bakugou Katsuki x Underground Pro Hero! Reader

•─────•°•❀•°•──── ɢᴏᴏᴅɴɪɢʜᴛ ────•°•☁︎•°•────•

Shit.

Pain flares up in your abdomen as you try not to think about the blood gushing out of your side, as the taste of iron lines your taste buds, making you want to vomit.

You were on a mission with your close friend and pro hero, Deku, who you consider a friend till the end after endless mission assignments together. Your quirk, Rays, allowed you to control the lighting of any setting you were in- even if it were bright outside, you could plunge anything within a 100-mile radius into complete darkness if you chose to do. Along with that, you could illuminate anything within the same distance in the middle of the night. Your eyes would change colors while your quirk was active, growing lighter and darker with the lighting around you- a feature that allowed you to be hired as a model for Jiyū, a clothing company owned by renowned clothing designers, Mitsuki and Masaru Bakugou. They joked that that lighting always favored you during photoshoots, capturing your eyes in such an alluring way that it was almost like you were the one who made the clothing look exceptional. They’d often drop hints that you would, in fact, be a perfect fit for their hotheaded son. You’d laugh at their insistence, waving off their jokes. They never would guess the reason behind your choice of career path, especially as a secret pro hero.

You were an underground Pro Hero by the name of Sola – specializing in espionage and stealth, a major asset to Pro Hero Deku as you balanced his brute force with elegance and mobility. You loved your job, not ever having to need to be prominent on the Hero charts and found your reward through the knowledge that you were helping others. It was silly, you thought, to sneak around with a secret identity like all the books you read, unlike the Pro Heroes you knew that basked in attention. And even though you didn’t need people fawning over you 24/7, you still had one issue with all the secrecy.

That being your boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugou.

You loved him with your entire heart, and more, as he did you. The both of you got together a few months after the explosive blonde had graduated from UA, your relationship blowing up the tabloids with a bang as he climbed the hero rankings.

You trusted him with your life, and he trusted you with his heart, and yet you couldn’t tell him about your job as an underground pro hero.

This was one of the reasons why.

You hid behind a pillar in the abandoned warehouse you had caught a drug network alongside Pro Hero Deku. The both of you were tracking the pricks for months, coming home late every night with a new excuse to tell Katsuki. You knew it would burden him with worry, choosing to keep your secret hero identity just that - a secret, even from Katsuki. He couldn't worry about you when he had his own job as a Pro Hero to worry about.

Not to mention he wasn’t exactly on the best terms with the greenette you worked with constantly.

The fight ensued, you heard Deku’s grunts and the cracks of bones, no doubt his One for All in usage. You manipulated the light around him, effectively blinding your opponents while giving your partner the advantage of sight.

You were losing blood at a rapid pace, head becoming fuzzy as your body slumps to the floor, giving into the exhaustion from overuse of your quirk.

The last thing you heard before the world turned black was Deku’s triumphant call for you, reporting that all the villains were restrained.

When you woke up, you were in Izuku’s apartment, head hazy and your temples throbbed like they were being stabbed repeatedly by blunt needles.

You got up without a word, thanking Izuku for his hospitality before leaving to go home, brushing off his concerns and walking out his front door.

Anxiety gnawed at you on the taxi ride home, subconsciously fiddling with your shirt to make sure your bandages weren’t visible, and praying to whatever deity was watching over you that Katsuki wouldn’t notice.

You reached your apartment complex, taking a deep breath and settling for a somewhat content look, before inserting your keys into the lock and opening the door, basking in the familiar warmth of your shared home.

Spotting Katsuki at the kitchen stove, you creep up to him and wrap your arms around his waist, to which he stiffens, but you don’t think much of it as you tighten your arms around him.

“I’m home!” You sing, smushing your cheek against him but he says nothing.

Worry works its way through your mind, wondering why he wasn’t responding, until his gruff voice snaps you back into focus.

“Where were you.” he says, phrasing it like a statement, not a question.

Your heart drops into the pit of your stomach- does he know? Did Izuku tell him?

Wh-what?” A nervous laugh escapes you. Had you been caught? “I told you, I was in the US -”

“Cut the bullshit.” he snaps, and you let go of him – you can physically feel your heart snap in two. “Where. were. you."

“I...” you trail off, the words caught in your throat, willing the tears that threatened to spill not to fall.

You both stand there, wordless, staring at his eyes, full of pain.

“You never even loved me, did you?” he says, voice cracking full of emotion, your eyes widening.

“Katsuki no- I" You try to explain, but he cuts you off, the pounding in your head returning with the new rush of emotions.

“Just stop. Please. Leave and never come back.” He spits out, tears finally dripping down his face. “Go fucking be happy with shitty Deku because obviously he’s a better fucking boyfriend than me.”

He thought you were cheating on him. Those late nights coming home, prolonged trips without explanation- god you were so stupid.

You rush towards him, mind racing as you try to explain, try to fix things. You couldn’t lose him, you couldn’t- it would destroy you in ways unimaginable.

And yet, he pushed you away forcefully, making you cry out in pain as he contacts your wound in your side.

He almost stops breathing when he sees the blood, your blood, on his hands.

You panic, and he grabs you by the shoulders, lifting your shirt up to reveal the bandage wrapped around your torso that the blood managed to seep through.

“Kats-”

“Who fucking hurt you.” he growls, low and feral- all resentment from the previous conversation melting away with the realization that you weren’t with Deku – or at least in the way he thought.

“I’m an Underground Pro Hero.” You whisper, a desperate attempt to mask your feelings as you curl into yourself. You can’t risk looking up at Katsuki and seeing his reaction.

“You what- fuck, you have a quirk?!” He looks at you, eyes wide.

You nod hesitantly, his vermilion stare meeting your own, attempting to assess what else you could be hiding from him.

“I wasn’t allowed to tell you- the Commision wouldn’t let me, I wanted to tell you so bad Katsuki, but I knew you had so much on your plate, and I didn’t want to bother you, and-” you break down, Katsuki cutting you off as he encircles you in his arms, consoling you silently, letting your distraught form melt into his embrace.

Heaving sobs turned into choking cries, which dwindled into sniffles that lead to silence. You’d drifted off, cried yourself into a sleepy daze while he carefully cradled you in the kitchen. His own guilt ate away at him- he understood your situation, the Commission was as unsympathetic to a hero’s situation as the League was to anything. But it still hurt, that stupid Deku knew about your status as a Pro Hero before he did. He shook his head, dispersing his feelings. He hated himself for his words, for assuming the worst and thinking you were capable of doing something so low. Running his fingertips over your bandages gingerly, a pang of worry struck through him. He wiped the tears off his face, and then yours, lifting your sleeping form and headed for your bedroom.

Right now, he needed to take care of you.

Changing you out of your clothes, he settles you into one of your favorite worn out shirts of his, tucking you into bed before getting ready to sleep himself.

He joins you in bed, heaving a shaky breath after everything, wrapping his arms around you, one hand placed on the back of your head and the other on the small of your back, holding you against his chest like you were made of porcelain - too scared to let you go, but scared of breaking you, too.

“Goodnight, princess.”

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kooki914 · 16 days

Text

Nobody asked and yet you're getting it anyway, my Dess interpretation! Tbf I love a lot of other people's Dess designs maybe more than my own based on complexity/symbology alone, but this is what my original take for her was so I'm sticking to it. Extremely long list of factoids for her under the cut!

Dess hasn't seen a hairbrush in 8 years.

Opening her first fountain was an accident, and so was entering the dark world, but it was something she desperately needed at that point. She was knighted by Spade King, before being dubbed the Roaring Knight by the general public after she opened the second fountain and people started (correctly) assuming she was trying to cause the apocalypse.

Dess is mtf trans! She was out since she was 9, and took puberty blockers for a while, but stopped after she disappeared because she, y'know, didn't have access to them anymore. Strangely, even though she's been off of them for so long, there's very few side effects. You can just see her Adam's apple sometimes and muscle mass started building for her easily, but that's it. She's silently grateful that her dad didn't pass down any beard-making genes.

The reason why it's been so mild is due in part because of the effect of being in the "void" for too long, aka the space so dark and isolated you can't even feel your own limbs. She was stuck in the code of the game, basically, and it's had adverse effects on her mentally and physically, the only positive effect being less testosterone production in her body.

The physical effects are odd. Though she's grown and her body's age is what it would've been if she never disappeared, she's still in the same clothes she was when she ran away, but they sized up with her. The black nail polish she had on is still there too, not even chipped. As previously mentioned, her hormones are out of whack but, somehow, she's still clearly a grown adult, as if she just went through a very, very mild puberty.

The mental effects of being stranded in the literal nothingness are as expected as they are odd. The standard effects of not having contact with another person for so long have, somehow, never taken hold. It's like the social part of her brain was just put on pause. However, part of the madness she DID get was her very much considering her memories might just be made up. As if she was always here and managed to, somehow, delude herself into thinking she had a life outside of this place, when she never did. Essentially, she stopped existing, but retained some level of consciousness.

The whole "not existing for a while" thing as well as the fact that she's pre-hrt trans means she absolutely hates mirrors. Give her a mirror and she'll give back about a hundred shards of it. When she was younger she usually just had dysphoria over looking too boyish (hence why she never cut her hair) but nowadays she has weird feelings about something as simple as Having Knees (the existential horror of having a body after being formless in the nothingness during your formative years).

Her journey as the Knight was mostly about rediscovering herself, trying to find purpose and trying to help the people around her. She spent her whole life feeling helpless, and wanted to destroy that feeling, for everyone. Her violent behavior was rewarded by the equally maladjusted Spade King, and they teamed up under the pretense of helping all of darkner kind.

Dess set out to cause the Roaring, per his instruction, without knowing what it even was. All she knew is that, apparently, she was the only one who could, and that gave her a sense of purpose. Once she learned it'd bring about the end of the world, she was so detached from the world that she carried on anyway, not concerned with the life that could be lost because, god, she spent so long outside it, how COULD she know what life was worth now?

Dess went by neutral pronouns (they/it) as the Knight because it was another mask she used to distance what she Knew of herself and what she Had to be (kind of like Asriel calling himself "Flowey" in Undertale, actually). Being called "her" was too familiarising and humanising, being called "he" made her break out into hives and start killing, so she stuck with the alternatives for utilitarian reasons. Somewhere along the way she got sick of it and started missing her feminine pronouns, but decided to just stick to the bit anyway. The world was gonna end soon anyhow, who cares?

Once she's out of the role of Knight and back in the light world, you bet your ass she's switching back to exclusively she/her. Fuck neutrality, this girl needs gender affirmative language.

Rediscovering music, and specifically playing and making music, was one of the things that helped Dess get back in touch with being a person again after the whole Knight debacle. She plays piano and harmonica of her own volition, and the violin because of her mom's insistence, but her true favourite will always be the guitar. She was a little small as a kid so playing it used to be difficult, but now that she's an adult having it in her lap is easy, and honestly it just makes her feel alive. One of those dreams she had as a kid that she forgot about along the way, y'know?

Her and Asriel were just family friends at first, but when they ended up going to the same class together too, they quickly became best friends. They were there for each other through everything, Dess got Asriel into games, he was there when she came out, and they were practically inseparable. Asriel was a hard worker and Dess was a super active sports kid, they balanced each other out well and were known as the highest achievers in their class, the golden kids.

Kris and Noelle got dragged into their adventures basically on accident, Noelle because Dess was the one babysitting her all the time, and Kris because they wanted to spend time with their brother. They often spent time outside together because Dess loved being anywhere but at home. She didn't mind Azzy's house, though. Kris was a lot to deal with sometimes and Dess scolded them in a lot of the same ways adults scolded her (minus the hitting them over the head with stuff, what was all her). She has no idea the impact she's had on their behavior.

She was always kind of violent, but when she was younger it wasn't really an issue, more like an excuse to get her into sports. She learned to act out because causing problems was the only context in which she'd get attention from her very busy parents. With Noelle specifically, Dess took on a semi-parental role and quickly developed a habit of taking on way more burdens than she could handle. Even with Asriel as a best friend and the Dreemurrs as a surrogate family, the control her mother Clarice commanded over her life was just too limiting. It all boiled over.

Dess started lashing out at other kids around when puberty hit, starting fights and genuinely hurting people. She never got expelled because her mother was the mayor, but Dess started getting grounded more and more often, which meant less and less time with her only real friend, and more with her very dysfunctional family. She loved Noelle, but her little sister became another responsibility, another liability that could get Dess in trouble, it was way too much for her to handle maturely when she was only 13.

Dess "disappeared" because she ran away from home. She hated living there, but neither of her parents could admit that, hence her disappearance being so "mysterious" to the other townsfolk, they genuinely thought she vanished from inside the house. It was only after Kris admitted they saw her in the woods near the bunker that night that the case got more complicated, and the legend only grew more terrifying.

Her original plan was to just catch a bus to out of town and hope for the best, but when she ran into the woods in pitch blackness, she couldn't find her way around. She was too reliant on light, and couldn't manage in darkness. She found the bunker in her aimless wandering and, hoping to sleep off the night and make up excuses in the morning, she went inside. She couldn't have known that nothing was in there.

The effects of her sudden disappearance rippled throughout the whole town. Most obviously, Asgore got fired for not being able to find her and Rudy quit his job to be a stay at home dad for Noelle's sake. Less tangibly, Asriel and Clarice both started burying themselves in work to avoid grief. Kris and Noelle socially shut down for a few years, it's why neither of them have any real friends other than the strained relationship they have with each other. Asriel took on Dess' habit of "be anywhere but home" when his parents started having marital problems, and Kris latched onto him even harder to avoid losing any more people in their life. Through all this, Dess was nowhere, silently wondering if anyone even noticed she's gone, if her life was even real to begin with.

One of the strange things that happened to her while stranded in nothingness was almost being able to hear someone mumbling to themselves. When she called out, the voice vanished, only to re-emerge an uncertain amount of time later and excuse himself for getting startled. He just doesn't get guests often, you see. And guests get him even more rarely. It was refreshing to hear a consciousness separate from her own, but his mind was even more broken than hers, unable to answer her questions about what was real and what was imagined as he seemed to think he himself was a product of unreality. Plus, he never really stayed for too long and he never wanted to talk about himself either, as if mentioning his own name could shatter him to pieces.

The reason Dess didn't lose her mind from to his influence like Jevil and Spamton did was because she's just fundamentally pragmatic. You can throw philosophy and existential questions at her all you want but as long as she talks and thinks, she exists, which means reality is Something, even if it's completely eluding her grasp. It might also have something to do with her being a (homestuck warning) Void player, meaning the idea of the innate meaninglessness of life and unanswerable questions about reality itself don't really sound earth-shattering to her.

She used her knife to open fountains at first, the one she brought with her from the light world, but along the way she picked up a rapier and decided it was way cooler than a knife so it's her go-to now. She's not actually that good with swords, though. She uses them like baseball bats. Despite this, Spade King still praises her as if she's the best warrior they've seen in generations. It might've gone to her head.

Her relationship with King is fundamentally a mentor and a student. He gave her flawed information, but taught her a lot about herself, the world she found herself in, and the role she could choose. And, that's the most important part, he let her CHOOSE, because he was genuinely under the impression that she was just a really powerful darkner and not a lightner. His strictness and high standards reminded her of her parents, mostly her mom, but his willingness to give HER control over her own destiny is what made her favour him over every other adult in her life. Discipline that treated her like a valued person rather than an asset was basically unheard of for her until then. Plus, reminding her of her parents gave Spade the bonus of every time he encouraged her on anything it'd activate the "parental approval" neurons in her brain that were terribly starved up to that point.

From Spade's point of view, the Knight (as a darkner) is everything he wants to be, but can't be. At first he mentored her mostly as an excuse to live vicariously through her, but in getting to know her better he discovered they have a lot more in common than he first thought. Unregulated emotions, unresolved pasts, the constant feeling that you need to do More and Louder in order to make any kind of impact... he started to genuinely care about her. If/when he's redeemed, finding out the Knight has been a lightner this whole time might not even be that much of a betrayal. Seeing her face and learning her name as she apologies for lying is like reconnecting with his own wounded, younger self. Letting it be water under the bridge means he doesn't lose connection to himself again, doesn't lose connection with his best student. Plus, December IS a nice name.

She met Lancer, but didn't pay him much mind. She was busy with overthrowing the other Kings and was too tired to be a babysitter again. Due to her rancid vibes as the Knight (and the fact that she quickly became the favoured child even though it wasn't her intention) Lancer doesn't like her that much. She left Card Kingdom pretty quickly, anyway (Spade's advice to seek another worthy kingdom to grant a fountain to), so she never got much of a chance to get to know him, even if she wanted to.

Her relationship with Queen is even more fraught. Due to Queen's tendency to mimic the "mother" personality for every lightner she meets individually, as well as her more Explicitly Controlling tendencies, Dess quickly became rebellious and then antagonistic towards her. Queen tried to choose FOR her, to get her to open fountains on HER terms, and Dess wasn't having it. Yes, following Queen's instructions would've caused the Roaring much, MUCH sooner, but, like. Not at ALL in a satisfying way.

She has no idea who Gaster is. When asked, she'll assume he's a Darkner. If asked about the man in the nothingness, she'll shrug it off. Now that she's out, she doesn't know if he's actually real or something she just made up in her head, though she laughs that off as well. "I sound a lot like him when saying that, huh?"

Learning Asriel goes to college is complete whiplash for her. Her sense of time is WRECKED. Like, yeah, she can wrap her head around Noelle and Kris being teens now, but ASRIEL??? What do you MEAN he's not still stressing over chemistry exams and cramming for spanish class, and is, like, actually studying something he's interested in???? Unheard of.

She makes fun of him SO much for his little beard stubble, dude. It's all in good fun, but like, you can only be called "mini Asgore" so many times by your childhood best friend before it starts to cut deeper. On the flipside he has literally nothing bad to say to her. She nearly caused the apocalypse, but like, he gets it. He would've done the same in her shoes (hooves??). He thinks her Dark World armour is so kickass and he could never pull it off like she can.

Unsurprisingly Asriel has a crush on Dess. He always kinda had one, even when they were kids, but reconnecting as adults just Fully bashed him over the head with the fact that he's had repressed feelings for her and he has NO idea what to do about it. He's anxiety incarnate and thinks Dess already KNOWS he has a crush on her and just isn't saying anything because she's playing it cool, or doesn't wanna hurt his feelings, or thinks he's too lame to date or something. He thinks she's the coolest person who ever lived and has no idea how to cope.

Meanwhile in reality, Dess is a clueless aro/ace. She doesn't really know what having a crush even means. She thinks being a couple is, like, flirting and fighting behind closed doors (you can tell the only couples she knew personally were her parents and Asriel's parents), so she thinks it's just exhausting and doesn't know why anyone bothers. When Noelle tells her she has a crush on Susie Dess is like "Hell yeah, love is love........ wait do you mean you like her or you want her to crush you with a boulder" and Noelle sweats for a while before replying with "b-both?"

Dess has never been to Castletown. Most likely will never go.

Her and Kris reconnecting is a bit awkward at first, mostly on account of the fact that Kris and their posse are the ones that had her bash her over the head as the Knight to get her to behave in the first place, but Dess doesn't really focus on that. Kris thinks they hurt her, she just thinks of them as a little hero. Susie kinda helps facilitate them talking like people again, at least at first, because she has no baggage with Dess other than hitting her with an ax over dark fountains and getting stabbed in return, but like... Out of all the people they fought Dess is the only one who actually said sorry for being a jackass, so it's all good in Susie's book. Kris is just happy to have Dess back, man, that bunker and their memory of it has been haunting them for entirely too long, now.

Like Kris and Asriel, Dess learned how to play piano in church. Unlike them, and unlike Noelle, Dess has actually become fully agnostic after her time in the void. If there IS an angel looking out for her, it certainly isn't one that could've helped her, so what's the point of worship? Plus, Asriel and Noelle are two angels looking out for her as is! Why add divinity to that? (I am extremely subtle, I know.)

To this day, she's still apologising to Asgore for getting him fired. He is still apologising for not being able to find her. It's a pity party.

No-one tell her parents but she smokes weed. Once she reformed from being the Knight, she had a lot on her mind, man, weed is the most harmless thing she could've taken to cope. Seam is a good dealer, they have the good stuff.

She's absolutely called King "dad" by accident before. He doesn't really mind. No-one tell Rudy though, he's gonna be pissed.

On that note, I feel the need to add that she was never as close to him as Noelle was, because he only really started being an active parent after Dess went missing. It's kinda tragic, and he feels REALLY guilty about it, but if he ever verbalises that guilt he's gonna actually crumble into dust. His confidence is all a mask as is, actually admitting that he was kind of garbage at being a dad with his first kid is just gonna make it so much worse. But, until Dess hears an apology, she's not really gonna be able to actually mend their relationship, so they're at an impasse.

Inversely, her time away from the light world kinda made Dess forget the way her mother acts. She sorta got a bit of "once away from the abuser you forget the abuse", especially knowing she herself was a kid when it all happened so she kinda started justifying her mother's actions to herself when away from her. After like 2 weeks of living with her again Dess fully remembers why she ran away and packs her bags to live literally anywhere else. Preferably with King if that's an option, though that might just make Lancer move out as well.

She doesn't know what minecraft is.

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tanuki-kimono · 4 months

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I just found your blog and I am absolutely enamored by all these designs! I did have a quick question though

I'd love to one day visit Japan, and I love the idea of attending a festival in a rented yukata. However, I'm concerned about if I could wear one or not due to the sleeves. I'm disabled and get around using forearm crutches, and have difficulty fitting larger sleeves in them.

I guess I was just curious about if either the sleeves could easily be pulled back to my elbows, or if maybe there are yukata with shorter sleeves (I've never seen them myself at least.)

Hi! I am so happy you fell in love with kimono fashion <3

As for your question, there is a fantastic way to accomodate your crutches: tasuki 襷 sleeves holders. Those are cord used for holding up sleeves out of the way (when doing chores, physical/messy activity, etc).

You can see below how tasuki are tied: basically think of an ∞ with the crossing on your back and the loop up front gathering up sleeves on your sides:

Depending on your mobility, you can pre-knot the cord beforehand then slip it around your body.

The "right" way of doing it is this one:

youtube

Though to be honest, most people do like this and call it a day xD:

I am not sure how your mobility is so I'll also add other options to mix and match in order to nicely enjoy summer festivals in kimono attire:

Happi 法被 (festival coat): if you don't feel confortable strolling all day/night in yukata (the tighness of around your legs might be cumbersome), wearing a coat like those over your "normal" clothes is a good option to still be in festival mood :) Some are sleeveless, some have tube sleeves, and if not pair them with tasuki sleeves holder and you'll be good to go!

(pic below from)

Nibushiki kimono 二部式着物 / nibushiki yukata 二部式浴衣 (two parts kimono/yukata): exactly what it says on the lid, those are kimono/yukata tailored in two parts, a skirt and a top one. Those might be harder to find in rentals, but have the convenience of being super easy to put on while being less prone to unraveling :) The two parts are also gentler on the figure as you can more easily adapt tighness etc. If you're are able to shop for a yukata beforehand, altering is pretty easy: chop in two, add ties and you're ready to get dressed ;)

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Tsuke obi 作り帯 (two parts belt): in the same spirit as above, those are pre-tied obi belt, with a wrap-around part and a knot part. They are super common for children, but also exist for adult. Altering a pre owned obi is also super easy, see for example this past note (for nagoya obi styled taiko knot).

Yukata can be worn with hanhaba obi (half width belt), heko obi (soft belt), or kaku obi ("men" belt). Heko obi would be my recommendation as those are unisex, comfortable, and suuuuper easy to tie.

If you want to try hanhaba or kaku, I'd advise for karuta musubi, a flat, sturdy, and unisex knot pretty easy to tie.

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Hope your travel project will come true and that you'll have fun :D

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fuyuu-chan · 3 months

Text

Few Bits of Your Life with Sylus <3

Warning: OOC (this was made pre-release of Sylus) not proofread either

Genre: Fluff

Fuyuu-chan: so i have many fic ideas about sylus, look forward to it lmao, but this is the first thing i finished even though this was not my first idea about him but anyway 乁⁠[⁠ᓀ⁠˵⁠▾⁠˵⁠ᓂ⁠]⁠ㄏ enjoy! ✨

✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

with sylus, yeah you can explore and try new hobbies or try to learn something you suddenly took interest in.

for example, cooking. this man cooks delicious. one night you were watching him cook intently and sensing you watching him. "Why are you looking like that?" "I have the urge to suddenly learn how to cook"

"And you just though about that now?" he raised an eyebrow before looking back at his cooking. "You could've thought about it before, like how did you even survive with just take outs and going to restaurants?" he says.

"Okay that's rude, at least i still ate, and restaurants serve good food" you says as you playfully roll your eyes. "not good as mine and its unhealthy" he states. "But if you actually want to learn then i'll teach you" he continued as he looks back at you after turning off the stove.

after that conversation a few days passed before he get to thought you about cooking since you two got busy about missions. he did let you pick what kind of dish you wanted to learn, he was taken aback when you said you want to learn his favorite food, he thought you wanted to learn first about your favorite, but he was happy nonetheless. the kitchen did get a bit messy but in the end you did it (mostly him tho).

after a few more tries in other days, he finally let you do it in your own and surprisingly you did finish and actually made a decent and edible food.

the taste, its alright, need some improvement but he was proud that you're able to do it in your own so you can make a dish and not just fried foods or take outs whenever you're by yourself due to him being away. after that he get to teach you how to cook other meals like your favorite and other more.

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

singing, oh my...sylus voice already sounds good but while singing. heaven bro. heaven. i tell you.

you love hearing his singing, and whenever he hums. you always request to him to sing or hum something before sleeping, it helps you sleep faster. to be honest he feels a bit embarrassed and shy to do it (he's stubborn about it too) the first time you requested about it but he got used to it now, and he is happy to fulfill that. he would spoon you while he plays with your hair and sing you a song (mostly your favorite songs) and once you fell asleep. gurl i tell you, you always have sweetest of dreams ever and a good night rest even have a tiny smile while sleeping in which he finds adorable <3. cant change my mind

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

let me tell you something. this man sylus is fashionable. i can feel it. like he knows what styles suits him. and he's there to slay.

like imagine being a fashion couple. IMAGINE. and you noticed how he also wear accessories in his clothes, like some chains in his pants with his belt and all. that's why you convinced him to wear jewelries, matching ones to be exact, i mean you have to take advantage of the situation, like if he is gonna wear jewelries at least match with him. (one of the reasons he starts and styling his outfits with jewelries) ALSO MATCHING OUTFITS. it could be colors, designs or style!!

so yeah, shopping it is. you bought matching rings, necklace and earrings. IMAGINE WHAT HE WOULD LOOK LIKE AAAAHHHHHH

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

okay. so sylus is a boxer right? he would definitely teach you moves. to further increase your knowledge in self defense. i mean yes you know how to defend yourself and all but there's no harm learning more. so yeah he would become your personal trainer. how cool is that more time spent with him. and you two would also workout together regularly. (and to have a chance to admire his muscles too LMAO okay IM SO DOWN BAD BYEE)

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

LATE NIGHT DRIVES.

you and sylus always meets at a parking space where you two can hangout freely with no people, since at night theres usually no cars here nor people, its just you two, and the air feels good too. you two hangout/meet there after missions.

now is one of those days. you two are the only ones there at the parking lot as usual, just talking to each other about the missions you two just finished or how it is going.

you two would mostly spend time chatting for an hour or two but after, you two would drive together, using your own motorbikes, going around city having the time of your life. and he would either be beside you driving or behind you to watch over you and make sure you're alright. i mean its dangerous driving in the dark, even though you're used to it its better to make sure. better safe than sorry.

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

i would like to believe that this man would be so neat and tidy person. like he cleans the house, its literally sparkling when he cleans, he is also organize in his things. like when he also arranges furnitures (i can feel he does that too) and when one time you ask where your thing is that you put in the coffee table, he would be like "oh i put it in the bedside table in the bedroom"

the next time that he cleans tho or arranges things he would inform you or put it somewhere you would easily notice so you wont have a hard time. he is considerate and mindful after what happened.

so having this man in the house, is amazing. you're not the only one who will clean cause he will help you no matter what (actually he would have volunteered to be the only one who cleans but since you always insist). i think he would also be more of the type of person who tends to be more neat compared to the two of you.

(⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

one more thing, peaceful reading with sylus. he's a reader himself. he loves reading, and definitely treasures that time with you.

would visit different libraries and bookstores. you two literally collects lots of books and even have a library of your own in your house.

ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you

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the-bitter-ocean · 2 months

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Miscellaneous Childhood Mira doodles with Euphrasie + HCs of what her parents looked like (this isn’t canon this is just my take on it based on what little information adrienne gives and also the game itself gives on what Mirabelle was like precanon etc. Drawing of my hcs of Mirabelle parents designs as well as an insanely long character study/ theorizing on Mirabelle was like pre canon is under the cut:

“Ocean why do you assume she might not be on the best of terms / isn’t close with her biological parents” it’s like a combination of things tbh? Mirabelle mentions repeatedly how much the people of the House of Change, especially Euphrasie has done so much in helping her learn and grow into the person she is today. Throughout the game she talks about how much she cares about/ misses different people in the game and how they are all important to her. You’ve got the head Housemaiden Euphrasie, who did everything in her power to protect her at the cost of herself, was mirabelle’s mentor and even gave Mirabelle blessing of being immune to the King’s Time freezing powers. You’ve got Claude, Mirabelle’s roommate that she cares about despite sometimes getting on her nerves ( she knows how dedicated Claude is to helping others and stopping the king etc), her other fellow housemaidens, the people she knows in dormont and of course all her companions that chose to help her on the journey to stop the king in the first place (Isabeau Bonnie Odile and Siffrin) she loves very much. Initially before getting any information from the in character QnA or Twitter or the QnA on Reddit, I had assumed that her biological parents were dead or that she never met them or had them to begin with but it’s not the case here.

Mirabelle talks about that when she first arrived at the house / prior to getting there she didn’t know how to do a lot of things basic skills. Siffrin also mentioned that the journey itself really changed her since he first met ( because initially she was a lot more shy but now she’s more confident in herself as of canon events in the game). Mirabelle said that she was taught by Euphrasie and the other house maidens. It’s giving the vibes of someone who arrived at the house ( whether by personal conviction to run away and find people who will understand her / that she can hope to understand and connect to) or her parents dropped her off there because it would be easier for them to do at a young age.

M: {The Head Housemaiden...I have to save her...}

I: […]

M: {The Head Housemaiden...She's such a wonderful person." "She helped me out so much! I couldn't do anything before I came to the House, I could barely sew my own clothes, and she helped me, she taught me..." "I wouldn't be the person I am without her!"}

Despite all of this she doesn’t talk about her biological family at all not even in passing despite the whole “ everyone and everything as we know it in the country could be frozen in time for good if things don’t go well” ( which is noticeable in comparison to how easily she can talk about how much other people in her life has cared for her and how much she wants to save them all from the kings destruction). In a in character QnA session when the subject of families / parents was brought up she has a very stilted and awkward response. The tone she’s answering it in feels like she’s hesitating or at the very least isn’t a 100% sure on how she feels about her parents ( and in truth probably hasn’t or didn’t want to think about them). We see the kind of way Mirabelle talks when it’s about people she loves in game before! It’s passionate and confident and full of love/ conviction that she cares for them! So seeing that in comparison to this is well..this isn’t having that energy truth be told. (Screenshot for those that don’t use Twitter)

Also Adrienne a while back posted official character playlists for each of the characters on Spotify to give insight to everyone on what the characters vibes were like and the song choices were very striking to me. The song choice for Mirabelle in particular that made me go !!!! was seeing Elle me dit by MIKA . For those who are unaware of the song and what it’s about, it’s essentially a song about a mother telling her kid all her high expectations of him and how she’s disappointed in the way he’s living his life.

Given how Adrienne stated that mirabelles parents don’t understand her and she in turn doesn’t get them either, I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s heard similar sentiments growing up / had that sort of pressure to Change or behave in a certain way. ( Even with her dedication the Change belief making her happy Mirabelle still will lament about how she’s afraid that she’s not doing enough as a house maiden or that her identity of being aroace somehow would upset others/ makes her feel alienated in comparison to how everyone else can change easily. ) This combined with the fact she canonically has anxiety and has moments where she isn’t very confident in herself is.. deeply worrying! Yes I’m aware that people can just have those types of thoughts even in a good supportive environment/ experiences but the combination of all those factors isn’t exactly aspiring confidence.

Anyway that’s my ramble I hope you all enjoyed my analysis/ headcanons yipeee ^_^

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littlemissmentallyunstable · 1 month

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Hiii! could you maybe write a Grayson x reader fic with a reader who doesn’t feel she is lovable cos her parents were abusive and taught her that?

hi!! thanks for your request, I realise it’s taken me a while to get around to writing it, so very sorry about that. It was a little dark but I’ll gave it a go. pre-warning I’ve never written anything like this before, so if it’s inaccurate or insensitive, I’m very sorry.

title: never good enough

pairing: grayson hawthorne x (first person) reader

synopsis: a make out session brings back some unwanted memories that you’re forced to face

warnings: really heated make-out session, suggestive themes (but nothing bad bad), lots of past trauma, swearing, panic attack, abusive parents

a/n: if any of the warnings trigger you, please do not read on, I don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s pain!! I’d feel so guilty!!

tag list: @tornqdowarnings @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @heartwithsimplenotes @lxvebelle @xoxo-vee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual

I like the way he tastes and the feel of his lips on mine. It’s not something I see myself getting bored of. It feels nice. But what feels nicer is the feeling of someone desiring you, someone wanting you, maybe even needing you. The feeling that someone chose you for a reason, because you matter to them. I like that feeling the best.

With each kiss I imagine that he actually feels something for me. It’s easier to play pretend. If you play pretend for long enough it can start to feel like reality. Growing up, I used to create things in my head all the time. Fictitious fantasies to fill in my empty voids of emotion. I suppose the habit had bled into my adult life.

He moans against my lips. The sound of pleasure indicating I’ve done something right, something he enjoys. My heart swells at this symbol of approval. Why do I thrive off of approval? I shake the feeling away in another deep kiss, burying it under a mound of other things I was ignoring. If I can’t see them they’re not there, if I turn my back, if I close my eyes.

These kisses are meaningless really, my brain knows it, actually it keeps attempting to remind me but I’ve gotten quite good at discarding things people say. They hurt my heart but not my head.

Grayson isn’t one to display how he feels for me publically. He’s mentioned before that he feels he doesn’t need to display how he feels to the world, he’s doesn’t care what the world thinks, he only cares what I think. It’s a beautifully designed excuse to tell me secretly that he doesn’t want to show affection in public because he doesn’t want me. I’m an embarrassment to love. I always have been.

But I don’t care. Our private moments together are bliss because I get to escape the truth and I like that. The truth is bitter like the cud, it’s harsh, it’s cruel, it’s painful. I’ve had too much of that already. So in the moments where I can I indulge so much I blind myself from it, I revel in the occasion. For the while.

His hands are firmly on my hips and I can feel the warmth of them through my clothes. They feel strong and supportive. They might be the only thing holding me together right now or it feels like it anyway. My hands are buried deep within his hair but I’m too caught up in the moment to think about it much. His kisses are quick and sweet, a little gentle. Sometimes he’d draw one or two out into longer, more passionate kisses. I didn’t care, as long as his lips were on mine, my memories would be forgotten. He begins to slide his hand up my body, tracing the curves of my bodice and up all the way until his cupping my face in his hands.

“I love you,” he pants, cheeks rosy and flushed, as we pull apart for breath, “more than you’ll ever know.”

Every time he says those words it ignites yet another fragment of my heart, that burns into ash in my chest. He’s killing me softly and I’m sure he’s enjoying it. He’s just telling me he loves me so I’ll stay with him, give him what he wants until he’s bored enough. That’s fine. I don’t mind. I know this, I’ve always known this. But getting to live in these moments, these moments laced in fierce passion and licked with flames of lust always made the harsh reality easier to swallow.

I don’t reply. Instead I kiss harder, more intensely. Maybe if I kiss with even more vigor, even more passion I can completely forget my pain. Maybe my mind will go blank and won’t be able to fill it in this time. I want the piercing sensation of white light to hit me and if it does I will let it burn me. Until my memories are incinerated and I no longer have to live with the weight of fear on my chest

He registers my sudden serge for more and begins to deliver. He matches my yearning for something deeper, something more. We’re caught up in heavy breathing, racing hearts and profuse sweating. Neither one of us cared. My hands find the hem of his shirt and I am tempted to tug down on the fabric but I don’t trust myself. My mind is too hypnotised by the sweet poison of his persuasive lips, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t make decisions like these. We’ve never gone further than kisses and I’m not sure if going further right now would make me feel better or worse. But who cares right?

No. I don’t let myself get that carried away. Not yet anyway. Even though I’ve previously been stripped of my dignity I will not be the one to do it to myself now. I take my hands away and slide them around the back of his neck.

We stop. Suddenly. And for a moment the standstill is uncomfortable. The absence of married lips is eerie almost. My mouth is tingling and I crave his taste already, it hasn’t been two seconds. It’s worse than drugs. I don’t want to stop kissing, every time we stop it opens a window for me to remember. A window I’ve been trying to avoid for far too long now.

He looks into my eyes and for a second I actually believe I’m wanted. Pools of gray, like a clear lake glistening in the moonlight. Pretty eyes, pretty face, pretty lips. But pretty doesn’t get you love. He smiles at me gently, a quiet kindness sparkles in his eyes. Sometimes I wonder how he is so perfect at forging this tenderness, how he claimed these masterful acting skills.

He trails his fingers gently down my face. It feels like he cares, the tentative manor misleading. Then suddenly I’m no longer in the apartment with Grayson. I’m back in my old house. No. I couldn’t be here. Not here. Anywhere but here. I don’t want to be back here. I escaped, I ran, I left, it was all over. I made sure it was over. I, I, I -

I’m back.

Sat on the living room sofa, that horrible itchy dull grey sofa, that appeared in my nightmares frequently. It even smells the same. The sour smell, that makes my stomach flip and my hands begin to shake. These four walls still haunt me. It looks as if they’re closing in, slowly, slowly. Like the room is getting smaller and I’m trapped. Claustrophobia seems to be my only companion.

My hands shake uncontrollably and no matter what I try and do to calm down, nothing works. I thought I was getting better, I thought I was coping well, I thought that it was going away. But this is proving otherwise.

I’m reliving a memory. A memory I’ve always wanted to forget. A memory scorched into my brain that tended to replay over and over like a relentless broken record that could never be smashed. I feel sick. I know what’s coming. No. I know who is coming.

His footsteps are an immediate giveaway and the faint smell of alcohol lingering in the air. I’m curled in a ball down, small, hiding like a helpless animal in a hole. If I curl up maybe it won’t happen. Maybe he won’t see me.

“What are you doing?”

A shiver runs down my spine. Every note in his voice is exactly how I remember it. The question echos around my head but I say nothing in reply. My words won’t form in my state of paralysis.

“Answer me girl!” my father barks. His voice venomous, dangerous.

“Nothing,” I reply quickly.

He grabs my arm, his fingers so tight around me that I’m sure that they’ll be bruises forming soon. He yanks me up as I attempt to cower backwards.

“Don’t take that tone with me you whore,” he spits in my face, the pungent wreaking of alcohol on his breath as he throws me to the floor.

I hit it with a thud. A dull aching thud. Just like the dull aching monotony of this scene that was just a part of every day life back then. I don’t move from the ground, I’ve learnt not to fight back. That only landed me in hospital last time. I lay there so still I hope he thinks I’m dead so he’ll leave me alone. He does not. He knows better. Unfortunately for me, he knows his daughter.

“You’re nothing but a piece of shit,” growls the voice that makes my blood curdle, “you hear that?”

I thought I’d left him far behind. I thought he was gone. I thought wrong. I am naive and I’m the idiot I have always been. I don’t reply again. There’s nothing to reply with. Of course I heard.

“I said, you HEAR that?” he screams it louder.

I don’t reply. Stupid mistake but he doesn’t give me time to undo it. He’s already standing over me. It had already begun.

***

He beats my body until my brittle bones long to snap. I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry. Those four words repeat over and over in my head. They might be the only thing keeping me conscious. No matter how much it hurts he cannot know he’s won. I refuse to hand him that victory of a silver platter, decorated in my jewels of agony.

And for a split second I wonder where my mother is and I don’t even know why. She would’ve do anything, she never did. She just stood there, emotionales, detached. Mothers are meant to protect and defend their children against anything in the world, it made me wonder why mine did not. It made me wonder if I were born to different people or maybe not born at all if things might be better off.

It’s not the time for thinking, I’m reminded. Another kick. I will not cry. A punch. I will not cry. My lip splits open. I will not cry. A twist of my left arm. I will not cry, I think my nose is broken. I will not cry.

“Stubborn little bitch won’t even shed a tear,” he snarls, bitterness so evident on his tongue I was surprised it hasn’t dissolved yet.

Yes I am stubborn. No I will not cry. Not for him. And then it happens. All over again. Beaten, bruised, battered, broken.

I can’t breathe. I’m in so much agony there’s no way I could even scream. So tears roll softly down my face as I’m curled up on the floor in defeat, desperation and humiliation. My body is nearly motionless, my limbs lay slack at my sides. I can’t help myself and no one is coming to save me. I let myself cry, broke the only promise I had to myself. I’m even betrayed my own brain for him.

I look up at him, tear streaked face. Is he happy now? Is he finally happy with me? Am I finally going to revive some sort of approval? Stupid questions to be wondering when I know exactly how this story ends.

As my eyes meet his, my father trails his fingers gently down my face. It still stings from the slap, the cells on my cheek screaming in agony. There’s the faint tinge of metallic blood in my mouth. My father trails his fingers gently down my face. Grayson trails his fingers gently down my face. My father trails his fingers gently- Grayson trails his fingers- My father trails- Grayson tr- my father Grayson my father Grayson my father Grayson my father.

SNAP.

I shiver and jerk away suddenly standing up. I try to back away as Grayson’s eyes fill with concern.

“What’s wrong,” he asks me, trying to reach out to me. I recoil at his attempt of a touch, like a frightened animal.

“I need to leave,” I barely get out, through my shallow breathing as I turn to find the door.

Where is the door? I couldn’t find the door. Breaths come in quicker and faster. Suffocating. I am suffocating. An invisible man has a plastic bag over my head and he is choking me slowly with it. I’m losing oxygen, I’m losing the things that keeps me alive.

Grayson is on his feet beside me, careful not to touch me, “did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s not you,” I pant, so breathless I wonder if I’m still breathing at all, “it’s all me.”

Dizziness rolls over me and I close my eyes. I feel my body sway slightly, my sense of balance robbed from me. A pair of strong hands catch my waist and pull me upright again. I try and focus my eyes but the room is spinning.

“Woah, hey,” it’s Grayson’s soft voice, “come here.”

That’s when I realise his hands are touching me. I try to pull away but can’t see where I’m going. I can’t see anything as black dots dance across my vision.

“No!” I yell, my ear beginning to ring.

“Hey, stop,” he says gently, ”sit down and take a breath.”

“No I can’t, I can’t, you don’t understand,” I hyperventilate, my chest in so much pain.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he murmurs rhythmically, extending his hand out towards me for me to take if I wanted.

I flinch away. His eyes are deep with realisation, he knows, he understands. I’ve given my secret away.

“Who hurt you?”

His voice is almost ragged, almost angry. His eyes are blazing, the soft grey hardens into cold steel. I open my mouth but no sound comes out. The words are unable to be spoken, they feel to forbidden. I don’t think I’d ever admitted my childhood out loud. I need air, fresh air. I can’t breathe. I need to breathe.

I feel like I’m drowning. Water blurring my vision, my heat pounding in my chest, my lungs screaming at me for the oxygen I cannot give them. My limbs frozen in a state of paralysis, heavy as lead, dragging me down. I can’t kick myself to the surface, I’m helplessly lost. All I can do I stare up and watch the last sight I’ll probably ever see. Sinking, sinking, sinking. I think I can feel my lungs fill up. They burn as if eager flames are licking the internal organ in pleasure. I can hear someone’s voice, it’s muffled, like there’s water in my ears. I can’t make out what they’re saying. I wonder if this person will haul my body from the water or they’ll give up on me like everyone else.

“It’s okay,” the voice is soft and sweet, it becomes clearer by the second, “don’t say anything, just focus on breathing for me, okay?”

Grayson Davenport Hawthorne. I take one look into his silvery grey eyes and in this second trust him with my everything. My heart is racing and I can hear my sharp intakes of breath. I manage a small nod as he helps me back down onto the bed, propping pillows up behind my back. I’m sweating, profusely and I feel revolting. The tremor in my hands is slowing slightly as he clasps them in his.

“I need you to breathe,” he tells me, making direct eye contact.

My chest is so constricted it physically hurts. The aching only grows the more I think about it but I can’t seem to stop. Hair is stuck to the back of my neck and the side of my face. I slick it back using my own sweat.

“I… can’t…” I manage to get out in breathless gasps.

“Yes you can,” he murmurs, “look at me, focus on me.”

I do.

“Yes you can,” he repeats, his voice strong, confident full of faith. Faith for me.

I close my eyes and attempt to slow my rapid breathing. I feel his fingers around my wrist, squeezing a little to check my pulse. He is warm against my cool skin. I reach for his hand with my other one and guide it slowly to my chest. I want to feel his hand on my heart. I want him as close as possible. His hand is on me with my hand pressed firmly against it. I open my eyes and stare at him, wondering if he could read my pleading eyes as well as I could read his compassionate ones. Mellow grey stares back at me in understanding. He keeps his hand on my heart.

“Don’t let go,” I whisper, “please.”

“I’m not letting go,” he murmurs back, “don’t worry, I’m here. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

In and out. In and out. In and out. I try to calm myself. It’s not like I’ve ever faced something like this before, I’d just never faced it in someone’s presence. The fear of him seeing me in this state of vulnerability, stripped of my many masks that tell the world I am okay when I’m not, that made it all worse.

But with some time, that could’ve been two minutes of two hours, my breathing slows, becomes more regulated. Things begin to calm down. I’m no longer sweating uncontrollably though my body is still wet. My shaking hands grow stiller by the second as I fiddle with the ring on my middle finger. Finally my heart rate begins to go down. I hear it less in my ears and feel it less in my chest. But it’s still there.

Grayson’s hand has still not left my heart, just like I asked. Gently I place my hand on his, and guide it back to his lap, letting him silently know he’d done his job. I take a hair tie and throw my hair up into an abomination on my head that I’m too tired to care about.

Grayson’s features have twisted into a way that almost makes him look worried. His eyes are larger than usual, his pupils dilated, swallowing up the comforting concrete grey. His eyes brows are pinched inwards slightly, only just and his lips are parted as if he wants to ask a question but can’t find the words. I want to pretend this look is real, I want to pretend he’ll still want me even after seeing me in my state, I want to pretend that this time it’s different. But I can’t afford to pretend anymore.

“Better?” he asks quietly, after a long period of silence.

“Better,” I rasp, my voice so hoarse it’s unfamiliar to me.

I rest my head back and close my eyes. Breathing in and out normally feels like a luxury now. I’m suddenly more grateful than I’ve even been for a steady flow of air to my lungs. Once I’m completely back to normal I make eye contact with Grayson. His face is difficult to read.

“What happened back there?” he asks me quietly, almost looking guilty for the question.

“What do you mean?” I reply, confused. Hadn’t he been there, hadn’t he seen?

“Why did you start to panic,” he clarifies, “what did I do to set it off?”

I want to shoot the conversation down there and then. Absolutely not. I am not ready to tell him anything, I don’t want him to know. I don’t want him to look at me different because of it.

“It doesn’t matter,” I say quickly, averting my eyes.

“Of course it does,” he presses further, “sweetheart I love you and-

Oh those three words. How the act as another knife to my chest every time. I love you is not meant for girls like me, I love you is meant for people who are worthy and special, I love you has never once been said to me with any true meaning behind it.

“Stop,” I snap, the word louder and harsher than I intended. It silently echoes through the empty space and takes a moment to sink in.

“What?” he asks after a few beats, confusion distorting his features.

“Just stop that,” I almost yell, as I go to get up, “stop doing that.”

“What am I doing?” he asks quickly.

“You’re lying to me,” I say, my voice wavering when I really didn’t want it to.

“What?”

“Every time you say those stupid words and I can’t afford to believe them,” I exclaim, welling up with this sudden surge of emotion.

“Slow down sweetheart,” he says slowly, “what are you talking about?”

“I know you don’t love me,” I shout. I’m exhausted. Exhausted of living this lie and now I’m at my breaking point and I can’t afford to continue. There are too many lies, in my head, in my heart, in my life. This one I want to be rid of.

“What?”

“I know it so you can stop pretending I matter, that I mean something to you,” I sob.

Great. Now I’m crying again. Again. Pouring out my weaknesses for him to see. I’ve never felt so unbelievably helpless.

“What are you talking about? Of course I love you,” he says it as of I’ve said something stupid or in gibberish.

Of course. Why of course? It isn’t obvious and I’m not an idiot. I’m stood here crying and he has the audacity to tell me this. I look him dead in the eye, my vision blurred a little due to the heaviness of my heart.

“No one can love me.” My voice is low and laced with the agony I’m so desperately trying to conceal.

“Who told you that?” he asks.

How did he know? How could he see through my mask so easily? Was it cracked, had it slipped or was it just all transparent now?

“I didn’t need to be told, it’s just how I am,” I spit back, hoping my bitterness might deter him.

“No,” Grayson replies, his voice so sharp it cut dangerously through the air like a knife.

“What?”

“No, that’s not how you are,” he says, “because I love you.”

He digs a finger into his chest in attempts to prove his point, it looks hard enough to hurt but he doesn’t wince.

“Stop saying that!” I yell over him, “it makes it more painful, every time you say it, it’s like a stab in the heart and I can’t take it anymore.”

I expect him to get angry, to stand up and hurl insults at me. We’ve never argued before. But instead his face softens. “I’m not lying,” he tells me gently, his voice like caramel, “how could I lie?”

He’s not lying? Or at least that’s what he’s telling me. But the softness of his eyes look like he means it. No. I can’t let myself be so naive, I can’t believe everything I’m told, I’ve learnt that the hard way.

“Everyone who I’ve ever trusted has lied to me, why would that make you any different?” I ask bitterly.

“Because I do love you,” he tells me, “with all of my heart. You don’t understand what you do to me. I can’t stop thinking about you, even when you’re not around, you’re the main character of all my thoughts and dreams for that matter. Not a moment goes by without a thought involving you. You are the other half of my heart, you have it, you stole it from me the day we met. And I don’t even care because if I were to meet any thief I would choose you every time and I’m so glad you took it. I mean goddamit, you mean everything to me, everything. I would die for you without thinking twice, without even blinking,” he says, “I just wish you could see yourself how I do. And whoever made you feel this way never deserved a fraction of you. Your beauty, your kindness, your love. They truly didn’t.”

I don’t say anything for a long while. I’m too awestruck. He loves me. He really actually loves me unconditionally. He always did and I always pushed that notion away.

I’ve never said anything about my past out loud. It makes it less real, I can forget if I bury it. Except I can’t I’ve tried and tried desperately to do so but relentlessly as ever my brain has never let it go.

“My father,” I choked horsely, “my abused me physically from when I was young. I thought it was normal.”

Something twists in Grayson’s stomach, I can see it all over his face. He looks ill, all the colour has drained from his face and his eyes are sorrowful, mournful even.

“But the bruises, they were okay,” I murmur, “even the scars, I could deal with them. It was my mother who cut the deepest, without even laying a finger on me. Her words were…” I attempt to pull myself together, “…her words left scars no one will ever be able to understand.”

“I’m sorry.”

The words are so quiet I can barely hear him. He looks mortified.

“It’s not your fault,” is all I can reply with. There’s nothing else to say.

“No one should have to-“

“But they do,” I choke, my voice getting shaky again, “and you know what, I’m tired.”

I wish I didn’t feel this weak, this powerless. Tears start free flowing down my cheeks, uncontrollably. Salty droplets leave glistening trails on my cheeks like in some sort of abstract painting in an art museum.

“I’m tired of this pain,” I sob, “I just want it to go away, I just want to be normal.”

The pain wracks my body. Grayson takes me into his open arms and holds me to the warmth of his chest. I nuzzle into him, seeking comfort I’d never received from anyone else. I cling to him like a frightened child to their mother, my knuckles white. I’m almost scared to let go, incase that means I have to let go forever. I can hear his steady heartbeat against my ear. I sob louder, my body physically beginning to ache from the crying.

“Hey, shhhh,” he soothes, stroking a soft hand down my hair, “you’re going to get through this and I’m going to help you.”

“How?” I wail. I’m hysterical and I hate it, but it’s taken control of me now.

“We just are, I promise,” he says, so much passion, so much faith behind the words. I want to believe him but I’ve had too many promises broken.

“I thought I was getting better,” I laugh bitterly, the tears flowing thicker and faster and harder, “I thought that I was coping better with all of this and now this is just proof that I’m not.”

I get it all off of my chest, words I’ve longed to speak for so long, the ones that have been locked away and avoided. I can say them. Freely. The caged bird is remembering she has wings, remembering she could once fly.

“Listen to me,” Grayson says, his voice clear, defined, “what you’ve been through isn’t something you just get over overnight, it’s not something you can wash away.”

“Why can’t it be?” I ask, snivelling in an attempt to gulp back my tears that seemed to be endless.

“It doesn’t work that way love,” he says, his voice so soft it could melt butter but instead it melts my heart.

“But…” I trail off into more sobs. I can’t carry on. Words are not enough to describe what I’m feeling, they’re not deep enough, the they aren’t raw enough.

I sob uncontrollably feeling more humiliated by the second. Loud, ugly, horrible sobs. When things are buried you don’t realise that they’ll eventually resurface. My body jolts backwards and forwards each time I let out a cry.

He pulls me close to his chest and whispers sweet nothings to me to comfort me. He doesn’t say anything the whole time. Somehow he knows that’s what I need. He just holds me, lets me know he’s there with the melodic rise and fall of his comfortable chest. He’s so gentle, so soft, he makes me feel fragile and delicate like a sharp of glass. I cry until I’m so dehydrated that there are no tears left and I’m so exhausted that I want to pass out.

And even then he stays holding onto me, supporting my broken body. He holds me, holding all my dilapidated pieces together, keeping me from falling apart. He cradled my head in my arms and tentatively strokes my hair. I feel myself relax a little more, I feel myself shut my eyes. Suddenly I’m aware of a sensation in my chest. At first I think it’s the panic coming back to prey on me some more but the feeling is too calming. It’s spreading across the left side of my chest, tingling a little but in a ticklish manor. It’s almost a warmth.

Is this what love feels like?

I open my eyes and sit up. What am I roping him into? He doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve to be held back by someone like me. He could have anyone, any body in this whole world. I’m the last person he needs in his life.

“You don’t have to do this,” I say trying to pull myself free of his arms but his grip is tight, oddly reassuring. He’s not going to let me go, he’s not planning on leaving, he wants to say. To take care of me.

“Do what?” he asks, brushing some loose baby hairs out of my puffy face.

“The door is wide open, feel free to walk out on this,” I explain with an elaborate hand gesture, “you don’t have to deal with me.”

“The door is firmly bolted shut and no one will be walking out,” he tells me slowly, “you’re not a problem to be dealt with, you’re a person. A wonderful, beautiful, spectacular person, that I have the pleasure of loving.”

Tears well up in my eyes for what feels like the hundredth time today, I’ve never cried so much in my life. The recurring lump in my throat makes another appearance. I don’t mean to get so emotional, but I do. I’m so used to being strong I suppose there’s only so much one person can take before they burst. I feel loved and wanted and needed and cared for, everything I’ve always wished for. Here is a man giving me all of that and more.

“And what if I don’t know how to be loved?” I whisper, fear clamouring up my throat.

“Then I’ll show you,” he whispers, pulling me closer to his chest.

“I’m going to get it wrong,” I panic, “I don’t know how to love.”

“Yes you do,” he soothes, “I know you do because I can feel it.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, I hurt people when I love them,” I tell him as he gently caresses my hair, running his fingers through it.

“You aren’t going to hurt me,” he says, “look at me sweetheart, I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere. Ever. We’re going to get through this together, okay?”

I nod, my heart not feeling so heavy. I lean further into Grayson and let him kiss the top of my head. The small gesture meaning mountains more because I know he loves me. And for the first time in a long time I smile, a real true smile. And it feels nice.

a/n: again, I’ve never written anything like this before so idk if it did it right 😭😭 anyways so sorry for it taking so long, hope you enjoyed

TIG masterlist

#the inheritance games #tig #grayson hawthorne #grayson hawthorne one shot #grayson tgg #grayson hawthorne x reader #grayson hawthorne x you #grayson davenport hawthorne #the brothers hawthorne #the final gambit #the hawthorne legacy #the grandest game

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toybreaker-kr · 7 months

Text

Thinking about a big tiddied dom leaning severely dysphoric pre-op trans boy taking me home after a nice innocent date (m4ftm).

You’ve never hooked up with anyone before, wary of being misgendered. But we’ve had a few dates and I’ve been sweet and respectful, so you invite me to your apartment, affecting confidence you don’t really feel.

We’ll start kissing immediately after we enter your apartment. I’ll crowd you against the wall like in the movies and you’ll think it’s romantic, if a bit corny. I’ll strip you of your clothes and when I reach to pull off your binder you’ll try to protest, try to say something along the lines of “Hey, actually I’d rather keep it on”. But I’m still kissing you whenever I can reach your lips and you let the moment pass, loathe to make it awkward. I told you I was gay, so there’s no way I’ll see your chest as anything other than masculine, right? You try to tug off my clothes but I kneel and moan that I want to suck your cock. You like the way I worded that, so you let me pull your pants and briefs off.

I’m completely clothed and you’re completely naked when I yank the door open and pull you out into the hall.

You freeze for a moment in shock, then try to scramble back into your apartment yelling “what the fuck-”. I grab you from behind and shush you. You don’t want your neighbour to come out and investigate, do you? You really want them to see you like this? Tits and pussy out?

You tremble as I push you closer to your neighbour’s door until you’re practically peering into their peep hole. I lazily hump your bare ass and you can feel my hard on through my jeans. You can’t quite believe this is happening. I grab your fat tit with my left hand and snake a hand between your legs, ignoring your clit to play with that feminine hole you so loathe. My fingers just shy of entering, press just enough to burn a little. Deliberately stretching you out.

“You know,” I say conversationally, “I’m actually straight. It’s hilarious that you thought a gay man will ever want you. Your tits were practically bursting out of that sports bra you call a binder.”

I jiggle your breasts and laugh. “Do your neighbours know you’re a woman pretending to be a man? I mean it’s pretty obvious. I bet they won’t even be surprised if they open this door right now. Not surprised that you have huge udders, just shocked and disgusted by how much of a perverted skank you are.”

With a hushed and shaky voice, you demand to be released. I pull out my cock, rub the length against the underside of your pussy and you freeze again. ‘Absolutely no go zone’, your bio had said. I press a smile against your cheek and amuse myself by smacking your pussy with my cock. I adore how much you hate it. I can’t wait to break you in until you love it.

You’ve changed your tune, quietly begging to stop instead of making demands. Despite everything, you’re getting wet. The slap of my cock against your labia makes it obvious to anyone who might hear. I squeeze your tits affectionately when you start to cry.

I wriggle a finger in your vagina, then two. You act like a bug has crawled up there instead. I reach in as far as I can and feel the brush of your cervix on the tip of my middle finger. “You feel that? That’s the entrance to your womb. A man can just press his cock head flush against this and breed your womb with his cum. Then a fetus will grow inside you until your belly fills with water and gets bloated and heavy with a baby ‘cause that’s what you’re designed to do.”

You try to twist away in revulsion but I press you harder against your neighbour’s door and you have to still to stay quiet. I pull out my fingers and stroke my cock with your cunt slick. I kiss your ear. “I won’t breed you if you do as I say. I don’t particularly want to take care of a baby either, but I’ll have to if you disobey. So for the both of us, you can be a good girl, right?”

You hate yourself as you force yourself to nod. I make you say it. It feels like something in you dies as you whisper against the door, ‘I’ll be a good girl’. Then, you’re biting back a scream as I force my cock inside you.

It’s a tight fit. It feels absolutely wonderful to force myself inside your virgin cunt. With firm presses and sharp jabs. It feels the opposite of wonderful to you. You’re desperately trying to suppress the sobs from the pain and violation. You Can’t be seen like this, you just can’t.

I give you some respite once I’m hilted inside you, taking a moment to luxuriate in your warm tight insides. I pull your hips back with me, walking backwards until you’re arched, hands and forearms braced against the door for support. I pull out a little, then thrust into you, satisfied when your heavy tits swing forward and smack against the door. You gasp and try to cover your tits to reduce the noise but I pinch your ass hard in warning and tell you to resume the position. You swallow down your protests and obey.

For the next ten minutes, I fuck you roughly, the sound of my balls slapping against your thighs are drowned out my the smack smack smack of your tits knocking on your neighbour’s door. There is no way your neighbour hasn’t heard by now. Maybe they’re standing on the other side of the door, shocked and frozen with indecision. Maybe they’re watching through the intercom, guiltily pleasuring themself to the sight of a girl with big fat tits being raped against his front door. Or maybe they haven’t noticed, headphones drowning out all other noise. Maybe they’re not home. You have no idea, and that makes it worse somehow.

My hips stutter as I get closer to coming and you beg for me to pull out. I say I will if you say you’re a girl and beg for me to breed you. You cry. It’s a trap. You know it. I know you know it. But there’s no other option than to try. So you sob ‘I’m a girl’ and you beg. Force yourself to omit the ‘don’t’ as you beg ‘please breed me’.

And I do. I press my cock against your cervix with one last thrust and fill your womb with burst after burst of cum. You didn’t know you’d feel it all. The twitch and pulse of my cock and the hot sticky wetness filling parts of you you wish you never had.

You feel empty when I pull out. In more ways than one. But don’t worry, something else will fill that emptiness soon.

#assume I’m amab here for convenience #btw if u suddenly can’t message me it’s a tumblr bug — I didn’t block u #forced detransition #dysphoria play #degrading k1nk #rough k1nk #ftm correctional therapy #misgenderingkink #ftmtf kink #fake boy #forced detrans #rapekink #forced impreg #exhibition kink #toby

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