#probably not american so more like just feelings yakuza

[sparkling-pink-lemonade]

(Long post ahead, reposting a reblog I made and ended up deleting because OP was an anti. Placing a "keep reading" after the repost before getting into new info. Post is screenshot heavy, and such not compatible with screen readers. I do not have energy to transcribe alt text right now.)

So anyways, there are antis in the Pico's School fandom.

I love the ship picandra (Pico x Cassandra), it's super hot, but apparently there are antis shaming it. (What don't antis shame?)

I'm not sharing OP's tags this time so it isn't as easy to find them. But the jist is that Pico isn't some pure hero, he's an anti hero. And it isn't canon that Pico has any trauma because of Cassandra. They express frustration with antis trying to demonize people who enjoy hero x villain ships.

This was my response before I deleted my post:

I'd also like to add that antis, as well as this post, are focusing on whether or not this ship is problematic due to Pico being a victim being a victim of Cassandra attacking the school. Not once does anyone mention the fact that the characters are 10 years old in their source material and that "it would be disgusting to ship 10 year olds and imagine children dating and kissing when 10 year olds would be doing nothing more than holding hands." I bring this up because of how OP then went and behaved in the comments of their post. Throwing a huge fit when a proshipper tried to inform them of what proship means.

Blue is OP, light blue is whenever they replied directly to the proshipper they were arguing against (not me), and purplish white are buzzwords creating very serious accusations against proshippers.

Any further comments from OP on their post were missing too much context due to the other side of the conversation being deleted. And such won't be commented on.

It's horribly ironic that they went on about pedophilia and their hatred for underage ships, when this post originated from a ship consisting of two 10 year olds. And on top of that, if their argument on proshipping being bad is because the dynamics of problematic ships are harmful and affect reality, then sorry to say, in my opinion as a proshipper is that Picandra is a comship. Even if Pico wasn't traumatized by Cassandra's attack on the school, she still caused irreversible damage to his life. She killed all his classmates and teacher. She is an alien who used emotionally insecure goth kids to kill humanity with no regard to the lives of her allies. She canonically couldn't give a shit about Pico, let alone be interested in him. In turn, after the attack, Pico had become a serial killer hitman that is very aggressive and closed off emotionally. If these two were to engage in a relationship, it would be toxic and abusive as all hell on both ends. But I guess that's fine because it doesn't disgust you personally. So it can't possibly be morally corrupt or questionable.

I do not plan on making a habit out of indirectly replying to anti bullshit on this level. I've already made sure OP is blocked and thus unable to see this post. The existence of my rebuttal points are more for the sake of getting my own frustrations out, practice making points against a real example rather than a hypothetical strawman, as well as providing a source of positivity for other proshippers who have dealt with this or other antis like the one featured above.

If you manage to find OP, do not harass them, send them hate, or even send 'helpful information'. A person like this is not in the right mindset to learn, and such trying to rebut them any further will only cause unnecessary stress and may cause them to root themselves more into the anti mindset.

[milesluna]

My Favorite Games of 2023.

Hi. Hello. Thanks ever so much for clicking on this page. Happy to have you.

First thing's first: I'm a little freak when it comes to video games. I don't feel the need to beat most games I play. From Software is one of my favorite studios in the industry and I've never finished a single one of their games. This means, fortunately, that I get to play a LOT more games than the average bear.

I've written up some blurbs about my top ten favorite games from 2023, but before that here's the list of every game I remember playing this year that left any sort of lasting impact on me (in no particular order):

Dead Space Remake Resident Evil 4 Remake F-Zero 99 Humanity Dredge Metroid Prime Remastered Anemoiaplois Alan Wake 2 Baldur’s Gate 3 LoZ Tears of the Kingdom Counter Strike 2 Hunt Showdown El Paso Elsewhere Jusant Slay the Princess| Remnant II The Finals Street FIghter 6 Lethal Company BattleBit Remastered Don’t Scream Homebody The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog Pizza Tower World of Horror Super Mario Wonder Mr. Sun’s Hatbox Fifa 23 Sea of Stars (Demo) Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update)

And the games I played that were NOT released in 2023:

Unpacking Persona 4 Golden Picross 7 The Order 1886 Shovel Knight Dig Lost Planet: Extreme Condition Spider-Man: Miles Morales Pac-Man Championship Edition DX Project Zomboid Quake LoZ The Minish Cap Drill Dozer Wario Land 4 Pokemon Pinball Resident Evil Revelations Summer of ‘58 Trackmania TwinCop We Were Here Visage Cursed Halo CE Half-Life 2 (I probably play this once per year) Witch Hunt Red Dead Redemption 2 Cyberpunk 2077 Borderlands 3 Brutal Legend Cultic Slay the Spire PUBG Rez Infinite Batman Arkham City Alan Wake Alan Wake: American Nightmare Max Payne LoZ: Majora’s Mask 3DS Metroid Prime Metroid Prime 2 Tunic Everhood Final Fantasy VII Final Fantasy VII Remake GOODBYE WORLD Yakuza: Like a Dragon Critters for Sale Dome Keeper Phasmophobia Hades Nintendo Switch Sports

Now that you understand the kind of freak you're dealing with…

Let's dive into my top ten favorite games from this objectively fucked up year.

10. El Paso Elsewhere Developed by Texas indie studio Strange Scaffold, El Paso Elsewhere is a Max Payne-clone with vampires, an opinionated narrator, and lots and lots of bullet time. As a small studio punching well above their weight class, Strange Scaffold leans into abstract, PlayStation 1 minimalism when it comes to visuals and pairs them with a soundtrack that will make your hands sweat. The vibes are here and they're ready for the end of the world. I'm personally also a big fan of everything this studio stands for.

9. Mr. Sun's Hatbox I want you to imagine Metal Gear Solid V. Now I want you to imagine that game as a 2D, level-based, slapstick platformer you can play with up to three friends. If you think that sounds stupid, you'd be right. And it's beautiful. As you build up a secret army of soldiers with various skills (and disorders), you'll start to develop *favorites*. This game constantly asks if you're willing to send those favorites on a harrowing mission and risk losing them forever… or if you'd rather send an idiot you recently captured who blinks constantly and can't kill anyone without fainting.

8. Dredge Every year I feel like I find one game that falls into the “just one more round” category, and baby… Dredge was it for 2023. As a weary fisherman in strange waters, you'll make the most out of your 12 measly hours of sunlight only for your daily voyages to inevitably pull you into the darkness of night, and night is when things get weird. Rocks emerge from the fog that you swear weren't there before, your equipment malfunctions, and you're pretty sure you just saw something in the water… something big. Despite only containing a small collection of islands, the world of Dredge manages to feel vast - perhaps vast enough to swallow you whole.

7. Resident Evil 4 Remake I was curious to see what sort of changes would be made to the timeless classic and father of modern 3rd person shooters, Resident Evil 4. I wasn't let down. RE4 Remake takes all the things that didn't age well about the original, tossed them out, and replaced them with only good things. And MORE things! It's campy, fun, and better than a game of bingo.

6. Jusant I really feel like this one didn't get the recognition it deserves. Jusant is a rock climbing game that combines the quiet contemplation of Journey with the mechanical specificity of Death Stranding. Unlike Death Standing, though, there is very little story to interrupt your flow. There are plenty of collectible bits to find for those curious to learn more about what happened before the events of the game, but the environmental storytelling does most of the heavy lifting. For me, the joy of the game comes from how it feels. Right trigger controls your right hand grip, and left trigger controls left hand grip. Plan your route, manage your stamina, and climb high above the clouds in search of answers.

5. F-Zero 99 This. Shit. Slaps. I've never been a big F-Zero guy, but this MADE me one. The “battle royale”, 99 player format is the perfect fit for the ruthless, high octane world of the game. Races last about three minutes, and friend, they are the most intense, white-knuckled three minutes of your life. The decision to make your boost meter the same as your health meter started in F-Zero 64 (I believe), and it is so much more HARROWING in this game when another player could side-swipe you mere meters from the finish line and blow you to bits. Sadly it's only playable via Switch Online, but it made me cheer, laugh, and scream enough this year to earn a spot in my top 5.

4. Alan Wake 2 Remedy makes weird games that also manage to exist in the AAA space and for that I will forever love them. Although Alan Wake 2 resembles a 3rd person shooter survival horror, I'd honestly say it's more of a narrative game than anything else. There's sidequests, there's puzzles, there's upgradeable skills, but at the end of the day the characters, world, and story are what kept me playing. If you haven't checked them out recently, you should definitely watch a story recap of the original games before diving into this sequel, but the wild swings for the fences this game takes are well worth that small price of admission. There's a god damn musical number, for Christ's sake.

3. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom I've really got nothing to say about this game that most people don't already know. It's incredible. The fact that Nintendo made a game that redefined an entire genre and then made a SEQUEL to it that ups the ante is remarkable. To be honest, I've only cleared the Rito, Zora, and Goron cities. I got a bit tired of exploring the depths and guiding Koroks to their friends, but I can't deny the sheer level of complexity and polish on display here. I saw someone on TikTok build a functioning Mecha Godzilla in this game. Good God. I've heard that the ending of this game is one of the best in the franchise, and if I'd seen it this year then it may have wound up higher on my list, but for the time being I'll continue picking up this masterpiece from time to time, chipping away at it until the day comes that I can finally smack the tits off thicc Ganondorf.

2. Half-Life (25th Anniversary Update) I know I'm gonna get shit for this, but I don't care. This year was the 25th anniversary of Half-Life and Valve released an update that made playing it (and it's online Death Match) much more accessible. I threw it on my Steam Deck out of curiosity, expecting to play for 20 minutes. I could not put it down. It is unbelievable how modern this game still feels. I simply had so much fun sprinting through the corridors of Black Mesa with a dozen weapons strapped to my back, blasting aliens and military Spec-Op chumps as a 24(?!) year old theoretical physicist.

1. Baldur's Gate III This game is fucked up, man. The sheer amount of writing in this game scares me. We can all talk about how BIG this game is, it deserves it, but the thing BG3 does better than any other role playing game I have ever experienced is actually encourage roleplaying. I've played through Act I four times now, with four different groups of friends, and it has felt fresh every time. I have seen the same events play out in so many different ways that it boggles the mind, but in every one of those play sessions I see players asking themselves “What would my lil guy do here?” rather than "what is the best thing to do here?" The game rewards players constantly for just trying shit and the D&D 5e rule set means playing like the character you said you were from the start leads to frequent Points of Inspiration. Maybe one day I'll see the end of this story (probably not), but I don't have to in order to feel a connection with BG3's world, characters, and most impressively, the characters I made myself.

Honorable Mentions for 2023

5. Dave the Diver 4. Homebody 3. Sea of Stars 2. Humanity 1. Super Mario Wonder

Top 5 Favorites NOT from 2023

5. Metroid Prime 4. Final Fantasy VII Remake 3. Cursed Halo (Halo CE Mod) 2. Red Dead Redemption 2 1. Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (3DS)

Games I didn't have a chance to play from 2023 but still want to when I find more time...

Viewfinder Venba Chants of Sennaar Thirsty Suitors Hi-Fi Rush Moonring Armored Core VI Laika Aged Through Blood Bomb Rush Cyberfunk

OKAY THANKS BYE!

[suguruslut]

Going to a carnival

𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘩𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘯𝘴

<<< 𝙛𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙏𝙖𝙩𝙨𝙪🐉| 𝙏𝙤𝙧𝙖🐅| 𝙈𝙖𝙨𝙖🐕 >>>

Gwen’s Notes: i would take all three of these men to a carnival as my dates. at the same time. just as a social experiment.

🐉𝒯𝒶𝓉𝓈𝓊🍳

-given his lonely childhood, Tatsu never really had the chance to attend carnivals and such, so when you suggest the idea, Tatsu coolly accepts, complaining a little bit about the traffic, jacked up prices, the heat and noises so you won’t catch onto how siked he is to go

-the second you step foot on the carnival grounds, Tatsu is in awe at all the lights, rides, games and food stands surrounding him. he feels like a little kid again, experiencing something amazing for the first time, and before you know it Tatsu is the one dragging you to every booth he sees, keeping a hand on your wrist at all times so you don’t get swept away

-he still wore his suit, but without the apron today, claiming that if you were going to look hot as hell in a crop top and jean shorts, he wanted to look like a “babe” too. hats off to him, the bastard actually did look really hot dressed as a yakuza in a crowd full of sweaty Hawaiian shirts and worn out sandals

-Tatsu can’t believe how delicious the food is; for once he was grateful he didn’t have to pack a picnic for you two, buying all sorts of traditional Japanese street food and a few American things, like foot long corndogs and sugared cinnamon mini donuts ( “Pace yourself, Y/N...we still got churros and hot wings after this.”)

-you stick to the more milder rides, because Tatsu doesn’t really trust the suspicious looking men who set up the creaking rollercoaster, but you don’t mind. watching Tatsu sing karaoke for a contest and annihilating the competition was far more entertaining. he even dedicated his winning song to you, a little number by Shania Twain...

- “Oh, OH, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to feel the way I feeeeel...Man! I feel like a woman~”

-you and Tatsu both want to check out the craft area, spending a lot of your time discussing househusband trade secrets, getting the scoop on new cleaning products and learning various DIY methods, probably Tatsu’s favorite part of the day. embroidering a cushion for his lovely s/o? just another day in the life of our yakuza househusband

-after walking for a few hours, laughing and pointing out all the sights and fun looking games, Tatsu zones in on a ball throwing game after you comment on an adorable dragon squishable toy a teen boy was trying to win for his girlfriend. poor dude thought Tatsu would be his hero and win the toy for them. sucker

-Tatsu showed no mercy, stepping up and breaking every single bottle with his wicked slider on the first ball, claiming the dragon toy for himself and proudly handing it over to you while the teen and his girlfriend stood there in shock. you named the green dragon Reptar, which Tatsu says was a good name for a worthy “dragon son”

-after claiming your victory price, the two of you winded down by buying some lemonade and going on the ferris wheel together; it was a pleasant way to end the night, admiring the stars and lights as you sat cuddled together, dragon plushie on your lap, Tatsu’s arm around you

- “Hope ya had a good time...I know I did. Yer gonna share Reptar with me, right? Right, Y/N?”

🐅𝒯𝑜𝓇𝒶𝒿𝒾𝓇𝑜🍰

-Tora has been to carnivals before, but only as a crepe slinger, not another chump being tugged along by his s/o. he’s thankful for the switch, though, secretly overjoyed when you surprise him at the end of his shift asking if he’d like to walk around and check out some booths with you

-he knows where all the good food stands are, making you try grilled corn, taiyaki, karaage, and his personal favorite, fried banana split ice cream, which he happily shares with you before discussing the science of making delicious ice cream. you spend at least fifteen minutes listening to Tora and the ice cream genius exchange recipes before moving on to something else

-Tora keeps your hand in his the entire night, growling and glaring whenever someone bumps into you or the crowd starts to get a little too close; the second you ask him to ride with you on a carousel, he lightens up a lot, letting his inner kid shine as you snap pictures of him sitting on a plastic pink horse

-when you stroll past a dunking booth, Torajiro recognizes the dunkee as a cop that locked him up one time. obviously he has to throw some baseballs at the target as revenge, but his rage overwhelms his aim, and it takes thirteen throws before he finally hits the red center, dunking the cop in freezing cold water and laughing his ass off for ten minutes

-hey, if Tora’s happy, you’re happy

-after that incident Tora insists on playing games you find fun, almost crying in joy when you win a coupon for brown rice at the frisbee challenge. you do have to drag him into the freak show tent, though, and he comes out as white as a ghost and looks over his shoulders the rest of the night, insisting the elephant man was after him because Tora “looked at him wrong”

-the real excitement comes when Tora spots a mechanical bull riding competition. did Tora have any experience riding bulls, evil or benign? nope. that wasn’t about to stop him, though, and you can barely watch as Tora climbs up onto the bull and is immediately thrown around like a ragdoll

- “Is that all you got, mechanical bull?!!!!! Bring it on!!! I’ll take all your hits!”

-despite the violent lurches and attempts to throw him off, Torajiro lasts an entire minute, a good fifty seconds longer than necessary. he later informed you (between bouts of vomiting) that he was only on it so long because his foot got stuck in the saddle stirrup and he couldn’t get free. that won’t be the story when you brag to your friends, though

-for his gallant efforts, Tora is awarded a pick between an animal plushie or a free baking class in an upscale Tokyo bakery. you’re shocked that winning such a stupid event would have such a great reward, even more shocked when Tora declines the baking class and instead choses a tiger squishable, which he gifts to you

-you name the tiger Hobbes, and spend the rest of your night walking hand in hand with Tora and explaining the story of Calvin and his imaginary tiger Hobbes to your man, Tora listening with a small smile on his lips, wondering how he got so lucky as to share this night with you

🐕ℳ𝒶𝓈𝒶🥡

-Masa had been to his fair share of carnivals before, but only with his mom, not any friends; you found that extremely depressing, and insisted you go together when the local carnival opened for the evening. Masa slept all day in preparation

-Masa talks big, as we all know, but isn’t actually that much into adrenaline rushes and things that will overexert his lazy self. luckily you’re the same, and you two mostly spend your evening at the carnival avoiding the rides, finding joy in the food and entertainment (who was “ImmortalD325″ dominating at karaoke?)

-the man can eat like you wouldn’t believe, and even though he claims to never have any money, he spends a hell of a lot of yen on cotton candy, pizza, slushies, hot dogs, popcorn, any traditional fatty food he can find. Masa shares with you, of course, and makes sure to tease you when you get food on your face as you angrily wonder how your man can stay so skinny when he eats like the show pigs you saw earlier

-for revenge, you let an eleven year old girl paint Masa’s face at the face painting booth~ Masa is horrified at the colorful flowers, peace signs and other girlish things splashed onto his skin, but laughs it off when he sees how hard you’re laughing. anything to make his s/o smile! public humiliation means nothing anymore--in fact, it’s almost Masa’s way of life

-your next stop is the photobooth! this is a night to remember, you insist, and Masa reluctantly poses with you in all his adorable facepaint glory. you make up for it by getting a pic of you two kissing, however, and there’s a line for the booth by the time you two exit

- “Oh my god, Y/N--they have pony rides! Pony rides, Y/N!”

-Masa is all jumpy and excited while you wait in line with children and their parents, but he gets a little nervous once the time comes to approach the ponies. you tell him it will be fine, and Masa believes you, but still looks anxious as you two climb onto your ponies

-the ride goes smoothly, given you’re only going in slow circles, Masa smiling and cheering much like the children around him. he now believes he will become a famous horse racer one day, a dream cut short when the pony bites his hand when Masa tries to pet his nose after the ride

- “The dream is dead, Y/N...I’ll never become a famous horse racer now! NEVERRRRR!”

- “Mommy, that guy is acting weird towards that pony!”

-there’s one game Masa has to play in order to win a cute dog plushie and impress you once and for all. the game is balloon darts, and Masa is probably the worst dart thrower you’ve ever seen in your entire life. he can’t manage to even graze a balloon, though he does hit another stuffed animal prize and the man running the stand

-after Masa spends FOUR THOUSAND YEN (which he was supposed to pay back to a debt collector...sigh), you decide it’s time to step in. on the first try, you hit a balloon on the top row, dead on. Masa forgets about his shock when you hand him the dog plushie he really wanted, blushing and thanking you like a schoolgirl

-the man running the balloon stand is not impressed

-Masa names the dog Spot. yeah. spot. all your hard work and he names the plushie Spot. oh well...at least you have the cute pictures you took at the photobooth

                                                      🐉 🐅 🐕

[sakuramiku]

＊・゜☆．。

it's been so long so it's time for a well needed update

🧸 my godmom + family had a beach day! i struggle so much with my anxiety these days that it literally does not make any sense to me because i have a very outgoing personality, i could honestly describe myself as an outgoing introvert. i admire people who can just DO things because i LOVE connections but my anxiety and overthinking limits me so much. i got to see my cousin who often comes up here for the summer and our other cousin who is up here with my aunt (her grandma) and we even got to go to american dream! we got super lucky cause my godmommy was so anxious to let them come. i had lots of fun with them probably going to see if i can get my godmommy a cake for her birthday which is today

⭐️ i am seriously thinking about my future. all my friends are having or announcing that they are having children and it feels me with a form of envy or jealousy . . i think? i'm not sure how i feel. after this semester, my next will be my last. i'll have a degree but i feel like my dreams of one day being a girl mom will be unfilled dreams. life is moving so fast for me and i honestly don't see it happening at all, like its one of those things that you say will happen later and then you never do it and go through those moments of grief and regret when you get older. but enough about that.

🌱 this new seasonal anime list has me so excited! i read the juicebox scanlations of yakuza fiance and i can honestly say that i'm more excited for that than dandadan. i got into both series when they only had 2 chapters and they both hold a special place in my heart because of those reasons. it's been lovely to see both series become well known and loved!

🍄 oh my god. bnha finally ended and i am so in mourning when it came to the ending. i originally dropped the series when twice died in 2020 and when i saw it was ending, i decided to quickly catch up so that i could experience the ending with everyone at the same time. i knew that eventually that the series would end but i thought the villains would get some closure and healing but i guess not. that deku/luke skywalker & shigaraki/anakin skywalker parallel is going to kill me everytime. i honestly forgot horikoshi was a huge star wars fan until that last chapter where shigaraki is a ghost, which is direct reference to anakin turning into a force ghost in return of the jedi. man i'm such a shigaraki girl. i bet he smells so bad but thats my man!

🎢 i want to get a picture on the coney island cyclone before it gets cold! one of the best things to be a landmark in my home city. okay i'm ending this here.

[everglow-synth-archive]

@mortau asked way too many questions 6, 14, 19, 20, 21, 22

Damn, dude. Alright, let's do this.

Other characters/muns you’re interested in roleplaying with?

Frankly, if I had to pick one group of characters, it'd be Yakuza. I want to get more use out of my Yakuza muses over on my multimuse. That being said, as far as characters and muns go, I'm usually pretty open and I really enjoy OCs.

Would you get along with your muse?

I'd like to believe so. I won't go as far as to say that Matthew is a self-insert(I mean for starters, he's Brazilian-American, I'm white as shit), but I do have a lot of similar interests to him. Now whether that was intentional or just a side effect of him being my muse is up in the air, but I have a feeling he and I would be pretty chill.

What’s your opinion on blog themes? How do you feel about your own?

I feel like blog themes can be neat, but I think they're a pain in the ass to deal with. I'm kinda neutral on the ones I'm using right now, and I think the coolest one I have right now is over on the reboot blog, @everglow-synth-reboot, but even then because of the HTML lock shit that tumblr implemented, I've just moved onto using a Carrd anyway. It's gotten to the point where my newest sideblog, @golden-lynel, doesn't even have a theme, and is dash only.

What’s something that would make you unfollow a mutual?

Truth be told, there aren't a whole lot of things? I tend to be fairly chill, and I also more or less vet my potential mutuals? But as a hypothetical thing it'd probably be just outright harassment as a big thing. There's a whole slew of others I could think of, ranging from stuff like actual predatory behavior to just being a petty piece of shit, but I don't think I've really run into that problem overall.

Three big no-nos to do or say to your muse. (their ‘berserk button’)

Hurting his friends is a huge thing. Hurting anyone definitely due to his heroic nature, but those closer to him are much more precious.

Threatening the Lounge itself. This is his baby, he put in a lot of work to make the place a comfy spot for people, and he's not going to let it go down without a fight.

To a lesser extent, "You won't; no balls." Because then he'll do it, and when he succeeds, he's going to be super annoying about it.

Three interesting little tidbits or facts of your muse.

Matthew, and Polycus as a whole, was made based off of a Dungeons & Dragons 5e supplement known as Lasers & Liches. It's very fun, I highly recommend it if you play 5e. It turns the whole game into a silly Saturday Morning Cartoon, complete with new classes based on stuff like Sailor Moon and Kamen Rider. This is why magic is a huge part of the world, as well as stuff like dwarves, elves and orcs being present in Neo Arcadia.

He once swallowed a quarter on a dare. It took three minutes of him choking, drinking water, and nearly throwing up to get it down. He doesn't know what happened to it. He is still scared to this day.

Despite living there most of his life, Matthew still gets lost in Neo Arcadia sometimes. It gets so bad that he literally needs to climb up the highest building he can find just to get his bearings, usually meaning following billboards and business signs to get around.

[pippin-squeaks]

My name is Pip, Pippin, or even Pips if you're feelin fun!

I'm an Asian-American artist, a AAA game of my own, if you will! I'm in a lot of fandoms and I usually spend my time lurking and liking posts when I should probably be doing something more productive hehe ...

════ •🍀• ════

Some short and kinda important tidbits about me :

- I use she / her pronouns

- I am a quarter Japanese ! ( and I have a strong love for Japanese culture ! )

- And lastly , as of writing this , I am a minor! Please don't repeatedly interact with me if your blog is adult-oriented and/or kink stuff . I'll do my best to keep that mutual!

I myself don't really care how old you are , you're pretty much always in the clear to interact with me , I just figure I should put this here because ik some folks can get huffy about minors lol.

════ •💚• ════

I have up an account for more text-based posting , feel free to go follow @pips-is-squeaking for that stuff !

My posting is sporadic and there are sometimes long breaks in between my posts! Please don't worry if I go silent on here for a little while. I'm still active and probably online if you have questions, or you just wanna talk!

════ •🍀• ════

I try to make my blogs and online postings safe for anyone to view , but I do swear and talk about a lot of subjects that tend to be sensitive . I try my best to tag things , but I'm certain there will be slip-ups. So while my accounts are open to most (if not all) , there is like a PG 13 kind of advisory in place

Below I'm gonna try like hell to list a lot of the things I like, feel free to follow if you fw these things:

-IASiP

-BrBa / BCS

-House MD

-Venture Brothers

-Metalocalypse

-Penny Arcade

-Vocaloid and Vocal Synths in general

-Yakuza / RGG / JE / LJ

-Horror movies and just horror in general

-Danganronpa

-Sanrio and Japanese mascots

-Early 2000s internet , mostly YouTube if I'm being honest haha

-Music boxes!!!

-RDR/RDR2

-Farcry

-Parappa the Rapper

-Gmod... Odd one to list but I don't have over 4,000 hours for nothin

Here are some fandoms by proxy of mine, stuff I like because friends/family like! I have minimal knowledge, but I'm happy to listen and learn!:

-WD/WDL !! these games look super cool and I like their vibes!

-Fallout, absolutely ADORE 4's music and vibes! Totally iconic!

-Madoka Magica... Yuri on the big scale, me likes. Plus I love magical girls as a genre!

-TF2!! you folks are just crazy, I love the Scout. Plus the Heavy is very cool in Poker Night.

-CAD, love you fellow video game webcomic fans... heart emojis sent your way

[frozenbound]

I absolutely love 'patience yields good results' and wanted to ask if you would be willing to write the hot tub scene we got implied at the end of chapter 1? Thanks for your writing, I appreciate you sharing it with us!

Thanks very much! I'm glad you enjoy that AU! Now that I've answered all these requests, getting Chapter 3 will be my next priority, so I hope you'll enjoy that when it's done!

Bonus scene from Patience, coming right up under the Read More!

“I’m not through with my ‘feel’ yet, Mr. Cassidy.”

“Wha…what?” the boy asked, completely bewildered.

Then he all but shrieked when Hanzo gathered him up in his arms and began carrying him bridal style to the bathroom door. 

He tried to struggle, but Hanzo allowed none of it until he poked the boy’s head through the door and nodded at the jacuzzi.

The boy stared at it uncomprehendingly.

“We can continue our ‘feel’ there,” Hanzo explained. “If you wish.”

Cassidy continued to stare at it until the tub was very close to overflowing onto the floor, but Hanzo held firm.

Patience.

Then, looking almost disgusted with himself, the boy nodded.

Hanzo smiled.

Patience was always the key.

And he would make sure the boy thoroughly learned his lesson.

He threaded the boy’s thin, long frame through the door and approached the jacuzzi just as the streaming water began pouring over the side. Hanzo ignored it; despite the desert environment, water wasn’t in short supply around here, at least according to the cheerful receptionist who had informed him that the Cave Inn had its own well drilled into a sustainable aquifer.

So he thought nothing of the water cascading onto the floor to swirl down the drain set into the middle of the floor. Indeed, he sent an extra-large wave spilling out as he stepped into the tub and gently lowered himself and the boy into the water, and a hiss came out of the boy when his tired but tense muscles were enveloped by the hot water.

Hanzo left the faucet running. The water wouldn’t cool in the slightest.

The boy would relax, one way or another.

As Hanzo lay back in the tub, he was all but cradling Cassidy, the boy’s back pressed to his wide chest and his ass on Hanzo’s hips so that he wasn’t sitting on Hanzo’s half-chubbed dick, which pressed into the space between his legs instead.

It would've been highly uncomfortable to have all of that weight right on Hanzo’s pelvis, thin as the boy might be, but the water helped buoy him up.

So, far from being uncomfortable, Hanzo hugged Cassidy to his chest and hummed a little at how tense every muscle pressed against him felt. He murmured right into his ear, "Relax, Mr. Cassidy. I won't bite again until you're expecting it."

He planted a kiss right on the mark his teeth had left when he'd been fucking up into the boy's intense heat the night before on the bed.

Cassidy shook his head. "Hard to relax," he muttered, "when I'm using a yakuza boss as a pool noodle."

Hanzo chuckled. "I’m using an American mob boss as a pool noodle," he pointed out, "and I'm extremely relaxed."

Cassidy grunted.

But he laid himself back, pillowing his head against Hanzo’s broad shoulder, and Hanzo gloried in how his lithe but strong body began to conform to his wider, bulkier mass.

They laid there together, the water splashing onto the floor with a sound not unlike a few hot springs and bathhouses Hanzo had frequented, so he was indeed very comfortable as steamy haze built in the air and hot water caressed every square inch of his body not currently occupied by the boy. Pressed together like this, he could feel the boy's muscles slowly unknotting and releasing their tension.

"You're…” Cassidy muttered, probably thinking he couldn’t be heard over the sound of the water, “softer than I thought you'd be."

"Indeed. I am a surprisingly accommodating man…though it is fortunate we did not meet when I was your age. I was a pompous, arrogant snob."

"You mean rich,” Cassidy shot back with the distinct air of rolling his eyes. "But I meant you as in you. Your body. Your muscles. They're not as rock hard as I'd thought they'd be."

"They can be," Hanzo said and he flexed as hard as he could in the hot water, and the boy squeaked as he was bodily lifted by the pump of Hanzo’s musculature. "But I am a mere mortal made of supple flesh, like you." He relaxed, and the water sloshed as the boy was lowered back down, briefly interrupting the constant flow and sound of water hitting the floor.

The boy was silent for a few moments. “Goddamn,” he muttered. “Goddamn.”

Hanzo smiled, his ego swelling in direct proportion to his cock, which was pushing its way between the boy's wet, slippery thighs to nudge at his ballsack.

"Well," Cassidy murmured, barely audible over the water. "Guess you're ready to keep going, then."

"Clamp your legs together," Hanzo growled right into his ear. 

The boy shuddered and obeyed, and Hanzo grunted at the vise enveloping his shaft. He took a firm grip of the boy's hips and, aided by his buoyancy, began rocking him up and down.

Proper lube would have been better, but there was a primal and potent thrill to having nothing but water smoothing the way between his cock and the boy's hot, hairy skin, paradoxically smooth yet coarse as he angled his cockhead to rub back and forth against his perineum and poke again and again at his loose, heavy testicles.

He was so light in Hanzo’s hands that it cost nothing to bounce him up and down one-handed.

So Hanzo easily snaked his other hand around and took a hold of the boy's large, swollen cock.

He had already been breathing surprisingly hard at the feeling of Hanzo’s hardness between his legs, but fingers around his own hardness made him draw a sharp, deep breath.

"Fuck!" he hissed as Hanzo pumped and thrust in concert. "Didn't…didn't know that just…that just having you between could feel…could feel…"

Then he yelped as Hanzo bit down on his ear. Gently, of course, he bit down gently, but the boy had been a virgin only yesterday, so Hanzo could forgive the strong reaction to his teeth, and then his tongue tracing across his earlobe.

"Wow. Wow. Wow," Cassidy breathed. "Jesus. Fuck. Uh…uh…wow, I'm gonna…I'm gonna…!"

Hanzo was rapidly approaching his orgasm, too.

"Let it go," he whispered into Cassidy’s ear. "Cum with me.”

The boy whimpered and shuddered as Hanzo’s cum, hot and molten even compared to the bathwater, pumped and gushed against his balls.

“Ah!” he cried out, and Hanzo grinned, the boy’s ear delicately clamped between his teeth, as he felt the boy’s cock pulse in his hand, and the dense semen pouring out of it gently drifted down to brush past Hanzo’s fingers. It was impossible, but Hanzo imagined he could smell the alkaline scent of it wafting up with the steamy vapors emanating from the water’s surface.

He sighed as the last vestiges of his orgasm faded away, leaning back in the tub.

The boy shivered for a few moments more before he also relaxed and let his head fall back to thunk against the porcelain of the tub, so tall and lanky compared to Hanzo that he missed the comfortable pillow of Hanzo’s shoulder entirely. If it was painful, it was apparently masked by the endorphins apparently surging through his blood and loosening every limb and deadening every movement, the boy lax and pliant as a living towel against his body.

“Mmm,” he murmured, and he gently moved his head to bump against Hanzo’s. “Feels…really good.”

“Yes,” Hanzo replied, wrapping his arms around the boy’s thin frame and hugging him close, his fingers stroking through his ample chest air. “Really good.”

The boy lay on him, the water hot around them and the sound of its cascade loud in their ears, Hanzo’s soft cock still trapped between the boy’s legs. And it was really, really good.

[petri808]

Nalu Yakuza Au *cover art by @jmoart214 💜

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |

The tit for tat game was well known to both of their top confidants and lieutenants because it had been going on ever since Natsu and Lucy broke up. Plus, it was hard to get around such knowledge considering most of them came from the same neighborhoods. These intrigues ebbed and flowed like waves. Months could pass by without any interactions between the two, at other times they’d go back and forth continuously until one of them finally gave up, and on the odd occasion ended in a huge fight that led to another round of ignoring each other. Up until now, it had been kind of amusing to watch them torture each other because it was better than a drama shows on television. But that didn’t mean Natsu, and Lucy’s friends didn’t worry about one or both being truly hurt one day because of it.

“It’s fine,” Natsu rolled his eyes as Gray chastised him after the soapland incident. The two men were at Natsu’s home after work hours and supposed to be relaxing. But clearly his friend didn’t want to drop the subject. “What’s the big deal?”

“Dude, you let yourself be blindfolded in a public space! Have you forgotten what kind of business we’re in? What if it had been an assassin instead?”

“Oh, that’s just ridiculous. We’re talking about Lucy’s company, and I trust their security measures because she has just as much to lose if a hit took place there.”

“Still, you should be more careful, at least take a bodyguard with you…”

Natsu’s eyebrow twitched in irritation. “And what, so they can watch the show? We got any voyeurs on the payroll? Cause I can’t think of anyone here who’d wanna see another guy getting his balls fondled!”

Gray ran a hand down his face. “So not the mental image I wanted. You’re missing the point.” He sighed. “Natsu you are the head of this clan, and your safety is my top priority.”

“I get it, I get it,” Natsu drawled.

“And frankly,” Gray continued, “you’ve become distracted by her lately.”

“Tch! No, I haven’t!”

“Yeah, you are. You think I haven’t noticed? I know you drive by her place sometimes. I know you’ve followed her to that coffee shop she likes to frequent. But ever since her employee was robbed, things have escalated again.”

“You’re imagining things and apparently spying on me. I’m just keeping an eye on the competition.”

“Watching over you is my job! That’s not spying.” Gray crossed his arms. “And oh, it’s no doubt that you’re keeping an eye on her. That’s why you went to Katsunuma’s party and to soapland too. The problem is you’re getting sloppy and sloppy gets people killed.”

Natsu groaned. “Are you done yet? We’re supposed to be enjoying the baseball game, not psychoanalyzing my life.”

“Almost.” Gray placed a hand on his friends’ knee and leaned in. “Natsu, you’ve been chasing that tail since high school, just lock her down and convince her to work together already.”

Natsu snorted a laugh. “Gray we all grew up together, so what in all these years makes you think that’s a possibility? You know damn well Lucy’s not a woman you can control without her consent.” Natsu knew that, and frankly he loved that part of her. In fact, it made him even more fired up whenever he thought about it, just like a treasure you don’t just find but must win at the end of a game. “I’ll find a way, some day.”

“Well until that day arrives, could you promise me you’ll be more cautious?”

“Fine, fine,” Natsu waved his hand. “I’ll back off of Lucy for now.”

“Good.” Gray relaxed back onto his recliner thinking the drama was over.

“However, there is a new guy I want surveillance placed on.”

“Who?”

“The bartender from the party.”

Gray groaned. “Seriously? Why? He’s just a bartender!”

“I don’t trust him.”

“Was he spiking the drinks or something? Dealing drugs at the party?”

“Maybe.”

Gray huffed. “You really gonna try that? Do I look like an idiot? This is just straight jealousy talking.”

“I don’t care! I want someone to dig up what they can on the guy!”

“No, what you wanna know is if he fucked Lucy that night!”

Natsu jumped up with his fists clenched. “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you too!” Gray stood up and matched his boss’s energy. “Unless you give me a damn good reason to check into him, I’m not wasting my guy’s time! You might be the boss, but don’t you fucking forget who you’re talking to! I’m not some punk off the streets!”

Realizing he was taking things too far, Natsu sat back down. “Sorry.”

Gray sighed and plopped back down too. “I only joined because you asked me to and you’re my best friend, then I helped you build this new empire, so I’m just as invested in protecting it as you are. But Natsu, personal emotions have led to the downfall of many in this business, and as a friend, I’ll check you any time I think you’re going to far.”

“You’re right…” Natsu sighed too. “She just gets me so worked up.”

“Don’t I know it,” Gray laughed, but stopped when Natsu glared at him. “Sorry, it slipped out.”

“But I swear, there’s something suspicious about him. When he saw me, I thought he just reacted because he thought I was Lucy’s boyfriend or something, but the more I think about it, he might have recognized me.”

“Well, that wouldn’t necessarily be suspicious either.”

“True. But the look in his eyes just made me wonder.”

“Alright…” Gray groaned, “if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll have someone do some digging. So, you said he has orange hair and glasses, and the name on his tag was Loke?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s an unusual name, shouldn’t be too hard to check on.”

Over the course of a couple of weeks, Gray sent out feelers for any information on this Loke guy. Katsunuma junior gave them their first small lead that the bartender had worked the party through a local food catering company. That catering company was a legitimate business who had both full-time staff as well as independent contractors brought in per event as needed. Loke had been one of the latter. From there Gray obtained a last name, de Lioncourt.

According to his sources at the local precinct, Loke de Lioncourt had no rap sheet, no prior dealings with police, and for all they knew was an average citizen. The man’s Line blog profile listed him as a 28-year-old, Japanese/French American, model and bartender, and it was filled with pictures from events, parties, as well as many gorgeous women— none of which contained Lucy. But as Gray trolled through the man’s feed, he did come across one person he recognized and passed the information along to Natsu.

“Wow, she’s in a bunch of photos,” Natsu mumbled as he scrolled through the blog.

“Well, considering Cana’s reputation are you surprised. Parties and alcohol are the two things that woman lives for.” Gray laughed. “Now see, this makes sense to me. Lucy and him, not so much.”

“Tch… still pisses me off he even tried.”

“Lucy’s a free woman, she can go out with whoever she wants to.”

“We’ll see about that,” Natsu mumbled low.

“What was that?” Gray asked with a raised brow.

“Nothing.”

“Better be nothing, cause this is a dead end. He’s just a flirty bartender. It’s how they make tips.”

“Yeah, yeah, fine.” Natsu sat back in his chair. “So, back to business. What this I heard about some missing stock?”

“Oh, right. One of the warehouse clerks noticed a shortage, but when I checked with Yura, he said the books were fine. I had him show it to me, and it appears the numbers were just inverted by accident. So, instead of 185 kilos, it’s supposed to be 158 kilos.”

“Did you talk to the clerk again? Does he have any history of messing up like this?”

“Nah, he’s one of our better clerks.”

“Just keep an eye on it.”

“Sure thing, boss. By the way, have you seen Gajeel today?” Gray questioned. “I haven’t seen him.”

“He called me this morning said he wasn’t feeling well, thinks he ate something bad for dinner last night.”

“Tch, seriously? Thought he had an iron stomach?”

Natsu shrugged. “Must’a been some bad sushi or something. We ain’t got much happening today, so it’s fine. Anything else? I got some stuff I need to finish.”

Gray tapped his chin. “Just a reminder you have an appointment with our tech guy dropping by later this week to go over some upgrades on the system.”

“Like I’m supposed to know anything about that stuff, it’s what I pay him for.”

“You still gotta approve it,” Gray shrugged and took his leave.

Once the man was completely out of the office, Natsu opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a nondescript box he’d hidden inside. He grinned to himself. It was time to make another special delivery. Even though he’d told Gray he was backing off the whole Lucy and Loke subject, there was no way he was gonna let it slide. Natsu didn’t care if the man seemed legit, and he wasn’t the first nor would probably be the last that he’d eventually scared away. And besides, being a Yakuza boss had a lot of down times too, easily filled with having a little fun.

Today’s little care package was being sent to Lucy by a courier service and Natsu just had to drop it off to the delivery company. Just a normal company like Kuroneko Yamato so it wouldn’t rouse too many suspicions. It was turning into a fun game for him just coming up with ideas of what he could do to rile Lucy up or irritate this Loke guy. Natsu chuckled to himself. So far, his favorite prank was a box of small sized condoms and a bottle of enhancement pills that he’d had delivered to Loke while on the job at another party. He’d even snuck in to watch it delivered, gaining a good laugh when the man took a peek in the box and frowned at its contents.

It was childish, but Natsu didn’t care. Every day for two weeks now, something new was sent to Loke. Random gifts like children’s candy to a toy gun, a big bottle of lubricant wrapped in a bow, a week’s worth of meals sent for lunch one day, even an empty box with rocks inside it just to drive the man crazy wondering who in the world was sending them. Lucy too wasn’t immune to his pranks, though hers had a different feel to them. Flowers with no note attached. Tickets to a canceled show he made up. A supposed dinner invite from Loke that wasn’t real— okay that was to test her, but she didn’t fall for it. And today’s little care package fit right into his prank scheme.

Natsu dropped off the package at a Kuroneko Yamato office with the address instructions already filled out and paid the company’s employee extra to keep their mouths shut. ‘She’s gonna kill me one day,’ he laughed to himself as he rode back to his office. ‘If it’s suffocation by her boobs it wouldn’t be a bad way to go!’

“Anymore stops sir?” The driver asked Natsu.

“Nope. Back to the office.”

He looked at his watch. The package should be arriving at Lucy’s office within the hour. Give or take another to open it, and by 4pm he would be receiving another phone call. Maybe he won’t answer it. Oh, that would piss her off even more! ‘Well, if she’d just take the hint...’

The afternoon was supposed to be mellow at headquarters that day. No shipments, and no appointments. But when Natsu got back, another general in the organization named Jellal Fernandez came to his office to inform him of a problem. One of the new local restaurants in their territory was refusing to cooperate and he wanted to know how Natsu wanted it handled. They were right in the middle of discussing it, when Natsu’s office door flew open with a loud bang!

In stomped Lucy who immediately threw a box at his head, causing Natsu to duck and Jellal to pull his gun.

“Don’t!” Natsu screamed at his general and motioned for him to stand down, to which the man complied. “Do you have a death wish Lucy!”

“Get. Out.” She snapped at the general. “Get out! This is between me and your boss!”

Jellal looked to Natsu, who nodded his head to scram. “I got this, don’t worry.” The man holstered his gun and left, but Natsu could see he’d stayed right outside of the now closed door.

“I take it you didn’t like the gift,” Natsu pretended to stay calm.

“Gee, me throwing it at you give you that impression? I know it’s you sending all these damn deliveries to me and Loke. That needs to stop now!”

He crossed his arms and scoffed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Play dumb all you want. Just stop! Why are you even doing this?!”

“Take a guess,” he sneered back.

“I could’ve sworn we were adults now, but apparently I’m the only one who grew up. Stay out of my love life Natsu!”

“So, you admit you’re sleeping with the guy!”

“That’s none of your damn business! I can fuck whoever I want!”

“Not as long as I’m alive,” Natsu growled back.

Lucy crossed her arms. “That could be arranged.”

“Is that a threat?!”

“Yes! If you don’t stay out of my love life!”

“A woman shouldn’t be sleepi—”

“Don’t you finish that sentence!” Lucy grabbed a stapler that was within reach and chucked it at Natsu’s head. “Stop trying to control me!”

“Are you crazy?!”

At that moment, Gray barged into the room. He’d heard the screaming from the other side of the office, and when he got close enough to see Jellal standing outside the door, he became alarmed. Why would a general leave Natsu vulnerable! The man told him their boss told him to leave, but as the sounds inside escalated, Gray couldn’t wait anymore.

“Stop it!!” Gray got between them. “What are you two doing! Lucy you shouldn’t be here!”

“Then tell your damn boss to leave me the fuck alone!” Lucy spat back. “Ask him how he’s been harassing Loke and me!”

Gray turned to his boss with a groan. “Natsu, we talked about this!”

“Tell Gray what you been doing!” Lucy pressed. “Show him the stupid packages you send!”

“What packages?” Gray looked to Lucy, then repeated the question as he stared at his boss. “What packages?”

“Tch,” Natsu crossed his arms, “it’s not even that bad.”

Lucy stomped over to where the box fell and picked it up, pulling the contents out. “Bullshit!” She snapped as she held up a very racy, red nightie with flame prints, a pair of fluffy handcuffs, and a large dildo. “See this shit?!” Lucy shook the floppy latex toy at Gray before chucking it to the ground again. “He includes messages too,” then handed the man a folded piece of paper.

Gray read it aloud, “to make up for what playboy lacks. Had it custom made to my size wink wink. Ugh, seriously man,” he tossed the letter.

Natsu shrugged. “I was just having fun.”

“This is the yakuza, not a daycare!” Gray snaps. “I’m not here to babysit the boss so he stops harassing the competition! There’s more important business to worry about!”

“That’s right listen to Gray,” Lucy sneered.

Gray turned to her. “Oh, you ain’t innocent either, so don’t even try it. You both do things to purposely rile the other up and get mad when there’s consequences. Stop it!” He looked back and forth between the two. “Just stop it already!”

Natsu and Lucy looked away from the man with scowls on their faces. Neither wanted to admit he was right.

“Jellal,” Gray called out. When the man entered, he instructed him to escort Lucy out of there. “Next time, just call me instead. It’s best you two just stay away from each other. Got it?!”

“Yeah,” Lucy grumped.

“Got it?!” Gray questioned his boss.

“Yeah,” Natsu mumbled.

“Fucking like high school,” Gray ran a hand down his face in irritation. “You two need therapy.”

[womenofwonder]

RWBY characters races for AUs set in our world.

How I’m going to do this: three things. The first, the city they live in Remnant. This is the least important because that leaves us with only five…maybe six places compared to our world’s hundreds of countries.

The second will be the original of their names, which they’ll have to keep in the AUs, meaning that they need some culture background for them.

The third will be their fairy tale origins.

So to start, Ruby Rose:

She lives in Vale, which is similar to France (I’ll explain why in another post maybe), but technically grew up in patch, a small island off the coast of Vale. I have no idea about Patch’s culture as we hardly ever see it, so I’m going to skip this one. We also don’t know if either Summer or Taiyang was originally from Vale.

We know Taiyang is Chinese from his name, so I’m going to say she’s half Chinese. I also wrote a western au once and really love the idea of Taiyang being an Asian Redneck…so I think I’m going to say Ruby is very, very southern just because that would be adorable.

But if you don’t want that idea I generally see Taiyang being either Asian-American or Asian-French, or Asian-British if your doing a HP AU. Summer is harder to pin down, but Red Riding Hood was originally an Italian fable, so I’m going to have her be Italian or Italian-American.

Weiss:

Weiss is German, although making her simply white America/British would work. I could see her being Russian too in some AU because Atlas fits well as Russia. For American works, Pennsylvania has quite the German population and coal mines, so that works pretty well for her.

Blake is really complicated. From Remment Australia which is culturally SEA (south East Asian), has an English name but parents with a Hindu-inspired names, but neither looking vaguely Indian. I’m going to assume her family are immigrants (as they are in cannon I think) to Australia, maybe even changed their name to help them fit in. Immigrants from where? Well, India is an option, but I like to think Malaysia. They have a large Indian and Chinese population, and I like to think Blake is a mixture of Chinese, Malay, and Indian ethnicities, from Malaysia and immigrated to Australia. And if you think this is crazy or unrealistic, you haven’t seen anything yet. The sheer mix of cultures I’ve seen growing up as an ex-pat is insane. This isn’t too crazy.

For Yang, we already have Taiyang as an Asian red-neck. Or at least I do. Raven and Qrow are going to be a little harder to pin down, but I’m think bandits getting replaced by mafia. Which mafia? I don’t know, take you’re pick. Branwen is Welsh, but I can’t think of a Welsh mafia. Coming from Mistral I would see them as being Triad, not Yakuza because Raven’s gang is famous for being less than coordinated.

If you need a logical reason for Yang having blonde hair, Taiyang could be only half Chinese, half blonde (blonde is race right?).

Either way I see Raven operating in an American city like New York or Detroit.

This would mean Yang is fully Chinese ethnically.

JNPR:

Jaune’s name and inspiration are all French. However his mother does come from Mistral (I think), so I do see him being half Chinese, but nationally French. It’s also funny to imagine him with a French accent.

Pyrrha: she’s Greek or maybe Greek-American with her parents being recent immigrants. Argus seems to Remnent-Greece and her name and fairy tale are greek.

Nora: she should be Scandinavian. I feel like in a MCU AU she’s Thor’s daughter. But she also grew up as a street rat in Mistral, which is hard to fit in our world. Therefore I’m going to have her in America, the great melting pot (and also America seems to be more like Mistral than any other Remnent king with our state system), and she going to ethically Scandinavian but knowing nothing of her culture due to her upbringing.

Ren: obviously Chinese, but I might have him be American-Chinese to fit his story nicely in with Nora’s.

Others:

Coco: we’re all ignoring that she’s based off Coco Channel, so let’s make her a LA girl

Velvet: Australia, because of the accent. Or maybe English because that is her story origin

Fox: he’s difficult, because tribes are pretty rare in modern AUs. But his story could work for various things. He’s one of the few black characters so he could come from practically any African tribe (I’m currently going with Hausa because it’s one of the few I know anything about). His name is based off ‘the fox and the hound’ which is a rare American story, so he could also be from a Native American tribe if you want the AU to be more American-based.

Yatsuhashi: Japanese, this one is thankfully easy.

Sun: Chinese. He comes from a tribe as well, but I can’t think of any nomadic Chinese tribes except the Uyghurs. Making Sun a Uyghur doesn’t make much sense but it will serve to piss off certain people on the internet. And now this is going to be taken down, isn’t it? Oh wait, this is tumbrl. This is anarchy. It won’t. Forgot why I liked this place for a second.

Scarlet: sorry for the rambling there. Anyway, Scarlet is definitely English. “I hope I don’t get sand in my shoes.”

Sage: well, he’s black, but other then that we have nothing to go one. He’s also from Mistral but that doesn’t really work? If Mistral is America as well as China I guess we can make him African American. Or whatever else works best for the AU. He might be Indian too now that I think of it. Or even Maori. Really options are limitless here.

Neptune: Yeah, so probably just American, but does have both a French last name and an Italian first name. So probably ethically American (aka white mutt). Also he lives near a port, I think I’m gonna gone with him being from Tacoma Washington because I am.

Flynt: African American

Neon: Japanese-American because of her meme (it started as part of Japanese pop song on YouTube, the latter of which is America summed up in one invention)

Oscar: Hispanic-American, he just looks it. And I’m guessing he lives in Kansas for obvious reasons. His last name isn’t Hispanic but their could be a lot of reasons for that. Or he could be Native American (Pawnee, Cheyenne, and Osage are all Native American tribes in Kansas).

Penny: well if she’s still a robot she probably stays white, but if you want her human in this AU she might end up being half black as Pietro is, although she also could just be adopted. I guess the later makes more sense, huh? I figure she’s American, with her dad working with a ‘well meaning’ but ultimately corrupt government. Probably living in DC, as that has both the government and the poverty issues.

Emerald: oohh, boy. This is hard. Sustrai is Basque, and Aladdin is a French addition to an Arabian story, she herself is dark skinned with anime features that are super unhelpful for this sorta thing.

I have three ideas. Brazilian, mostly as there’s no South American themed RWBY characters I can think of, and it’s diverse enough that someone looking like Emerald would fit. Secondly, for American centered stories she’s just an orphan with no idea of her ethnicity. Or she could be African, Indian, Pacific Islander, or Hispanic or some mixture between those four. It’s honestly really hard to tell. In my fanfic she’s from Suriname and ethnically 1/4 Indian, 1/2 Creole, and 1/4 Javanese.

Ilia: Sioux (Native American). Ilia means a lot of things in a lot of different languages, and Amitola mean rainbow in Sioux, so I decided to just stick with that.

Mercury: American, white mutt American. I’m guessing New York or Philli for where he grew up, it seems like a place where he’d be comfortable

Neo: the new novel reveals her father lived in vale (btw I haven’t read it, I’m just getting this off the internet) and her mother was a assassin who’s origins aren’t known. She doesn’t really have a fairy tale. So I’m going to go with British or French (thank RWBY thoughts for the first one) although in an American AU she works as just a white American.

Robyn: depends on what Atlas is in this AU, but probably German or American.

Qrow: I already mentioned he’s probably Chinese due to being from Mistral. It’s a bit weird to think of him as Asian, but not as weird as it to think of Raven as white, so I’ll take it. Although I do like the idea of him being American Irish, that’s fun.

Winter: whatever Atlas is in this AU, German or American, although British and Russian would work well too.

Maria: Mexican

Salem: If you want a AU where she’s just a normal person then New England or Italian for her story origin

Watts: British

Tyrian: uh…I have no idea, but he looks white. And he kinda has a British accent? I want him to be southern for the accent tho. Probably just another crazy American

Cinder: her fairy tale is French but her origin is Chinese. Also, Cinderella doesn’t really have an origin, it’s an ancient story with every culture having at least one Cinderella story. So I’m going to say Chinese.

Hazel: American, from the Midwest. He’s darkish so maybe he’s a POC? Part Native American or Hispanic? Idk or really care I can’t stand Hazel

Roman Torchwick: American-Italian, he runs/works for the mafia

Ozpin: American because of the whole wizard-of-Oz-thing or French, because he seems to have come from Vale.

Glynda: American or French for the same reasons Ozpin is

Oobleck: Jewish American (because Dr. Seuss was)

Professor Port: Russian, due to his fairy tale, or English, due to his style

Taiyang: already said he’s a red-neck Asian.

Raven: depending on whether you want her to be white or not, either Chinese or Irish American, like I already said.

Cordovin: Karen

Ironwood: again, depends on Atlas in the AU. Either American or German…maybe Russian

Clover: Irish-American (or German, obviously the ace-ops depend on where Atlas is. I’m just going to do the rest of them assuming Atlas is American because Germany isn’t that diverse)

Harriet: African-American, I guess. It kinda messes with the story because Harriet is supposed to be privileged, which doesn’t really work in this AU, but she’s also obviously black.

Elm: Just normal American, maybe greek-American because of the Aesop fable themes

Vine: Tibetan based on his design

Marrow: either African-American or Pakistani/Indian-American. (I’m personally going for Pakistani)

Klein: english. All butlers are English. It’s a rule.

Pietro: African-American

Johanna: Pakistani or Indian American

Fiona: Jewish-American (kinda random but while she’s obviously white she also needs to be a minority for the Faunus thing to work)

May: normal upper glass American/German

Ghira: Half Malay, Half Indian, from Malaysia but immigrated to Australia later in life

Kali: half Chinese, half Indian, but also from Malaysia

Adam: much like Fiona I’m going to assume he’s Jewish due to him being white but still needing to be a minority. German or American, again, depending on where Atlas is. Or he could be Chinese, even though it doesn’t work with his name, due to the theory that he was trafficked much like Cinder. I’m going with ethically Jewish though

Sienna Khan: Indian

Huh, I actually finished that. I’m pretty sure I was accidentally racist multiple times and apologize in advance,

I’m exhausted and starving and not thinking straight. But anyway, here it is. Your very messy guide to modern RWBY AUs. I swear this was insane to sort out.

[thotsforvillainrights]

Hello so I had this random idea at 2am:

Everyone talks shit on Kai's anime hairline, right? What if he hears one of the bullets saying something and before he can take out his anger on them he sees his s/o drag them away (for example Kurono being an escort in public) and he just kinda goes to his office and sits there thinking over it and he gets insecure about it (and very confused why he's insecure about it.) And his s/o comes back and helps the man feel better about it.

Whatcha think? This possible to even happen?

(Is it possible to happen? Well it is now lol)

~Insecure Kai and His Hairline~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

4:00 p.m and the day was moving along swimmingly...well, as swimmingly as a day of business could go for the yakuza. Kai finished some morning paperwork, and set up a schedule to meet with another group that evening before his shift ended. He also scheduled a few shake downs for Setsuno, Hojo, and Tabe to handle. On top of that, he was busy moving a few things around to be pushed into other areas (he need not say). As he walked down the hallways feeling fairly proud of his achievements for the day, he caught wind of his name being thrown around from Deidoro’s mouth to Rappa. He usually didn’t care about small talk or gossip as long as the workers got their job done, but he was rather curious to see why he was apart of the conversation. Therefore, he paused and put his back against the wall just before the corner ended so he could listen to what his precepts might’ve been saying. 

“I’m just saying, if I were him that I wouldn’t try that slick back style anymore. That shit looked a little ridiculous.” Deidoro spoke in between sipping his alcohol.

“Hey watch it! If the grand and might OverHOLE catches you saying that shit, he’ll have your head on a platter.” Rappa said sarcastically.

“Ah fuck it, what are the chances of that right? Besides, he’s been killing a lot less with Y/N around. Anyway, just hear me out. The boss looking a little good in Y/N’s eyes right? I hear it from random female and male and non binary yakuza members from other groups as well. They always mention his looks and how handsome he is. But like...that recent big ass meeting we had? His haircut was NOT fucking suited for the slick back look. His hairline is like the American basketball player Lebron James.”

“Damn man, I don’t like him either but I’m not gonna roast him this bad.” 

“No serious! This aint a damn roast, it’s facts. I bet by the time boss hits 30, he’s gonna be balding.”

Both men laughed while Kai could feel his blood boiling. Was he some sort of fucking joke now?! Just because he had gone a little soft and started to show sympathy and appreciation for his men doesn’t mean he is to be taken lightly. He was slipping his gloves off at the very moment to go show Deidoro and Rappa a thing or two when suddenly your voice appeared.

“Deidoro! Get upstairs to the top level right now and clean that mess up you made, and I MEAN IT. Rappa, you’ve got to come with me today because we’re picking up some new furniture and Overhaul told me last week if we go through with it that I wasn’t allowed to lift it myself. Sorry bud.”

“Why apologize to me? I’m down for some heavy lifting any day!” And then silence as the three walked away. Kai could always wait until you leave with Rappa to handle Deidoro but there isn’t time to stalk and kill his employees. Plus this was confined talk so he’d fess up to eavesdropping and you’d probably get upset at him for it. He sighed in annoyance and stomped back to his office, silently hoping for someone to step out of line on his way so he could absolutely destroy them. Once back inside his office he buried himself in mindless busy-work to distract himself from the anger. It worked for a moment...but his anger had shifted from annoyance to some other feeling...in fact the feeling could best be known as insecurity. That couldn’t be right??? Could it? Throughout the day he found himself stopping to look at his hair in the small mirror inside his desk drawer. Eventually it became so constant that he shifted towards keeping the mirror propped up on his desk so he could work and keep peeking over and over. With each peek at his hair, his perception of himself shifted more and more until the voice in his head began nagging at him that this imperfection was real and it was very VERY obvious. At times it was the only thing he could see when he looked at himself. He couldn’t remember exactly what he looked like when the day began. He groaned and reached out to fling the mirror across the room. Just as you opened the door to greet him, it slammed against the wall next to you and shattered.

“Uhhhh...bad time?” You laughed nervously as he gripped the sides of his head and sighed. “Angel please leave...I’m not feeling very well and I think I’m sick.”

“Oh stop it, you know I can tell when you’re really sick. Anyway, I was just coming down here to tell you I was heading out to get furniture. I’m bringing Rappa with me like you asked, but I figured I could bring Deidoro instead of Nemoto since Shin has stuff to do back here and Rappa seemed attached at the hip with Deidoro today.”

“Do as you wish with them. I could care less if they died...”

“Okay now I know something is up. Chisaki please talk to me, I don’t like it when you feel like you have to hide stuff from me. I can see you’re bothered by something and I don’t think Pops or the other group’s leader will like the meeting coming up with you being so dismissive on things. Please talk to me?”

He sighed and looked up at you with dull eyes. “Angel...am I still attractive to you?” Kai silently begged you’d have the answer he wanted. “Kai if you ever ask me a question that stupid again, I will physically harm you.” He smirked and shook his head. “Well of course you’d think that. Just earlier I caught Deidoro and Rappa speaking about the current state of my hairline today and-”

“Ohhhh Oh my Gosh they were talking about it upstairs earlier and it was so funny I...” You paused when you saw his lip just barely jutting out in a pout from under his fabric mask. “Oh my God Kai, that was just locker room teasing. They were just making jokes is all. They sit around and roast everyone to keep from being bored. Y’know I didn’t think you were the type to take someone so seriously over this type of thing ESPECIALLY not Rappa and Deidoro of all people! Listen, you know as well as anyone else that not everyone is going to have a good opinion on you. I learned a long time ago that as along as I think I’m hot then no one else matter. Besides, it’s okay to get a little insecure sometimes since it’s human nature, but don’t you EVER forget how sexy you are. And anyway, I don’t know what they’re talking about hair for. Rappa’s shit is so matted up in the back, it looks like he’s starting dreads. And Deidoro...if he reached up and pulled his hair back, he would have a 12 head instead of a forehead.” You said nonchalantly while looking down at him sitting in silence. He slowly reached up to hug you with one arm before thanking you for your kindness. 

“Thank you Angel.”

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

Instagram: @pastelbattydraws & @pastelbattystore

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRNMJH7vHL7APNobUykhK4w?view_as=subscriber

[mc-doppomine]

Dunno why this came to mind...maybe calculating Jakurai’s deal here...Who knows but here I am imagining how much schooling these boys have gone through. 

As a note, I am not saying their schooling level as any jab to them. All people are different. Some would prefer going to school, some do not have the opportunity and some have other things to do. It really is many reasons why they would or wouldn’t go on. And I’m just guessing what I think they’ve done based off information we have of them. 

Buster Bros!!!

Ichiro I feel only completed compulsory school and some of high school. He was too busy supporting the orphanage and his brothers to really keep up with it. And considering Yorozuya Yamada is likely their only source of income, he hasn’t really gone back either. I don’t that particularly bothers Ichiro since while he wasn’t bad at school he wouldn’t say he liked it either. 

Jiro is at the age where he didn’t have to go to school anymore but Ichiro made him stay. As it was just better options for Jiro if he does finish school. He also doesn’t go to cram school as 1) he can’t stand school as is, 2) he likely goes to help Ichiro with the business and 3) there’s a chance they can’t afford to send him. Despite the latest drama tracks, I don’t see school being a point of contention between them even if Jiro doesn’t like school. I don’t see him pursuing a traditional higher education, if he even goes at all.

Saburo is still in compulsory school as far as I understand so it’s not really a question of if he goes. But obviously Ichiro would want him to stay. Especially him because he’s good at it and seems to like it. That and it might help Saburo’s social skills to have to be around kids his age. For the most of the same reasons, Saburo doesn’t do cram school either. If anything he probably could tutor if he didn’t get so easily frustrated with people. I do feel he could make it to the top schools when he gets older but I see an interest in going overseas for uni.

Mad Trigger Crew

Samatoki I don’t think went past compulsory schooling. He was too busy with yakuza stuff to really deal with school. I see him getting into a lot of fights over his background, namely badmouthing of his parents. He probably had Nemu stay though because he wanted her to have options. I think he’s really good with money even though he probably hasn’t had to worry about it for a long time

Jyuto I initially was gonna say did go to college but researching a little bit, he probably didn’t. He only would need to finish high school and pass exams. Which I feel he was prepared for. Like I think he’s been set on being a cop for a long time and worked for that. Which is why I’ll also go out on a limb and say that in high school this boy was a runner so he was also in shape for his training when he passed exams. I also think Jyuto was a good boy student.

Rio likely went into military service as soon as he could, which I believe is 18 over there. It’s a little harder to tell about how the service was since the world of hypmic is one that had another war, so it’s likely his time was busier than what it would be normally for someone in the navy. He absolutely could’ve gone to uni and come back to get a better rank but I don’t think Rio really cared about that aspect of it. (This man knows communications and some hacking, you cannot tell me he couldn’t have gone far) I will say he likely took advantage of his half-American status and is fluent in English as it would’ve been useful for joint exercises with the states. I think the dissolution of the navy really shot him in the foot but he’s just too resourceful to keep down with that.  

Fling Posse

Ramuda...obviously didn’t. And I don’t think his records would show anything. Like if it had to show anything, it would probably show him going to a super large school where it’s completely possible no one knows who the hell he was (because he was never there). And if he was based off someone, he likely had some of his credentials taken from them. He understand the culture of schooling though, I mean his style and personality does seem to draw girls high school age and older. 

Gentaro is pretty hard to imagine to be honest. I don’t see him enjoying his school life and being around classmates for an extended amount of time. And while I think he could’ve spent some time in academia in literary research, I also see him finding it way too stuffy for writing. But I think ultimately...he went to uni for a short time. For some reason I just don’t see him vibing with how the system is for it. 

Dice did not. I don’t think he finished high school although he could’ve if he wanted. But he probably avoids it because it’d be an easier way to keep track of him and run contrary to his stray sort of life style. 

Matenrou

Jakurai...is a doctor...I sure HOPE he went to school for his profession. So he studied some of the stuff you need for doctoring during his time as an assassin but he didn’t actually go into studying to be a doctor until he quit his killing at 23. He probably went into the national defense medical college, which seems to be 6 year program but you have an extra 2-3 years of compulsory service with it. I think he likely finished his compulsory service, at the latest, a year before the Dirty Dawg timeline. Or OR he faked his schooling and just knew the equivalent knowledge from his time as an assassin and was able to pass his exams and later studied whatever he lacked. He’s basically fully legally certified NOW, don’t worry...

Hifumi I just can’t see going past high school. Like I’ve always seen the incident happening in his last year of high school and it made it difficult for him to even finish. And considering he claimed in the first Matenrou drama track that he didn’t find a way to live with his phobia until he was 20...I don’t think he went. Not that he would’ve been interested in it. Hifumi is interested in what he likes and wouldn’t want to put the effort either way. I don’t think he really cares and he has more than enough skills (and money) to do just about whatever he wants.

Doppo likely went to uni. He couldn’t get into the real prestigious schools and knew he couldn’t so just went for wherever he could get into rather than wait to test again. I feel like his degree is in either accounting or business. I think he had a part-time while in school to pay for it since it seems like his family might not be as well off or he didn’t want to burden his parents (in a passing conversation I think he mentioned paying for his brother’s exams or schooling). For some reason I also can see him having a minor in biology because I see him either knowing a lot about plants or knowing a lot about marine life. What kind of person just thinking of a water flea for like a small creature?

Dotsuitare Hompo

Sasara I feel like he didn’t go past high school. Not that he couldn’t. Just that he didn’t find a need to? Not when he was set on going into comedy. Like it was either make it or be trapped with his family. And he was hard noooope. 

Rosho....is a teacher? I sure HOPE he went for his teaching certificate. I don’t think he was going to initially and might not have while he was doing the comedy game with Sasara? Their time line is a little fuzzy, I haven’t found the indicator of if Rosho and Sasara disbanded before he went to MCD or after. If it was before, then yes he went to school after they disbanded. If not, then he was in school while doing the manzai thing. So yeah dual major of mathematics (or statistics) and education (he didn’t need both but I have faith in him).

Rei most definitely went to fucking uni. This bastard would let you think he didn’t but he did. He’s probably a fucking doctor or just shy of it. Drives me mad. Why am I sure? Because if Rei is behind the hypnosis mics. As in the designer and/or inventor of it, he is a scientist or engineer of some type. I see him having a degree in either biotechnology or neuroscience. I learn towards the latter because I feel like he also got a minor in psychology (or y’know what, business is possible too for a minor). Just to mess with people.

Bad Ass Temple

Kuko I feel was the same as Ichiro in that he went to high school but not necessarily finishing it. I don’t believe he would’ve had to...if anything he’s gone back to his teachings at his temple. Yet it seems he doesn’t do that either so I’m not sure. I just don’t think he did anything past high school. 

Jyushi I think he might’ve just finished high school? I don’t know if he was just finishing or he’s soon to be doing exams. But I think he’s going to finish regardless. Y’know I feel like Jyushi would’ve liked going to uni. I can’t think of what he’d go to school for though! Would it be adding too much work to a passion if he did something with music theory? 

Hitoya...is a lawyer? So yeah? And you have to wonder if Hitoya is a masochist or loves to learn or what have you. Because he was in medical school WITH Jakurai. And then when they part ways, he quits and then goes into LAW. Are you kidding me? Hitoya, Hitoya please...I looked it up, he HAS to be a masochist! Law in Japan is super hard to get into! It has one of the most difficult bar exams to exist! What are you doing, man??? Although...I think Hitoya is still fairly new as a lawyer though because him starting when I assume Jakurai started school at 23, would have him only being fully practicing for 5 years. And that’s assuming he dropped out the first year and not later...which would only shrink he years outside. Unless whatever he got for his bachelors was applicable for law too (behavioral science?)...either way, yes he’s done it and he sure does do a lot to beat a guy that doesn’t even know they’re competing. 

[souvenirsofsurgery]

monty’s horror movie list

no one follows me for this but i’m back in my horror movie obsession era so here we go. some of them are good, some of them are bad (but I love them), and some of them are kind of unacceptable, like, morally tbh, I’m sorry

anyway, in no particular order:

mother!: I just watched this one today so it’s on my mind. get ready to be stressed out by deeply uncomfortable social situations for like, the first hour and a half and then genuinely disturbed for the last twenty minutes. i finished this and then sat in my room mouthing “what the fuck, what the fuck”. v good, 10/10

Orphan: What if you adopted a kid but they sucked?

Absentia: I was really impressed, cause this was like a low-budget, crowd funded movie but it’s so so good. This one is about a woman whose husband went missing years ago, a creepy tunnel, and family relationships. V quiet and sad

Possum: Not very much happens in this movie for a long time but the atmosphere is so good, and it’s genuinely creepy. The ending also made me so uncomfortable I almost couldn’t watch it, so there’s that

The Wolf House: Incredible unsettling stop-motion animation, and I’m a sucker for good animation. Makes more sense if you know a little Chilean history, but it’s interesting even without that context

Amityville: It’s About Time: Jumping right from that foreign arthouse film into cheesy schlock, what if a clock made people evil and fucked up?

Hell House LLC: More! Schlock! This is a fake documentary/found footage movie about people trying to make a haunted house in an old hotel... but what if it was haunted for real??

Host (the 2020 shudder original): Unfriended if it was good

Hereditary: Made me sad :( This was one of the first movies to genuinely scare me in a while, and my sister-in-law won’t even let anyone talk to her about it. The story about a family dealing with grief and complicated relationships is also just so interesting to me, this one’s in my top 10

Anything for Jackson: Reverse possession movie: they try to put a spirit IN someone! Hell yeah. So many good, weird ghosts in here, I love some good, weird ghosts

13 Ghosts: (the early 2000s remake) Speaking of good weird ghosts. What if your estranged uncle died and left you a house but there was a ghost jail in the basement? I just rewatched this movie with my little brother and remembered how much I love it. Very schlocky, Matthew Lillard’s acting is off the fucking walls and I love it, why does he act like that??

Kindred: One of the only “is it in her head, or is it real?” movies where I actually really wasn’t sure. It’s about a woman whose husband dies right before she’s about to give birth, so she ends up staying with his family and slowly starts to question their motives

Parents: What if you were just a little kid and you started to suspect your parents were eating people?

Basket Case: I’m not crying over a B movie, I’m not crying over a B movie. In this one, two conjoined twins are surgically separated against their wills, with one of them getting thrown in the trash. As adults, they start hunting down the doctors who did it to them

The Poughkeepsie Tapes: Very depressing fake documentary about a serial killer. Just fucked up and sad

The Taking of Deborah Logan: One of the few found footage movies that I think is actually good. A small documentary crew goes to film a woman and her aging mother who’s suffering from dementia, but they start to think that... huh, maybe this is something a little worse than dementia...

Ju-On: The Grudge (the original Japanese one): this movie just freaks me out, I don’t like how Kayako moves around, I don’t like the sounds she makes, and I don’t like her weird little son

The Ring (the American remake): I saw this movie when I was like 8 bc someone recorded it over the Willy Wonka VHS I’d gotten from the thrift store, and I’ve been fucked up ever since. In it, a woman sees a cursed tape that will make you die in seven days, and has to try and figure out how to save herself before then. GREAT atmosphere, very creepy

Sadako Vs Kayako: What if the girl from the Grudge and the girl from the Ring fought each other? Hell yeah. Plus, love that a ghost hunter comes to help with the situation and he’s got a random mean little girl with him. People are like “why is she here?” and he’s just like “she’s my associate” okay?? Where did she come from??? I’m obsessed with this movie

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A classic. Rancid, nasty atmosphere, just feels gross, 10/10 

Society: Rich people suck so so bad and are very fucked up

House of 1000 Corpses: I love this movie and I’m sorry, its just some disgusting, campy fun. Like, what if your car broke down the night before halloween and ended up in a house with some terrible (but very entertaining) people?

Oculus: The idea of being a little kid, stuck in the house while your parents are slowly losing it, or potentially being possessed by something evil, is really scary to me. This movie does it so well. It moves back and forth from the main characters going through that in their childhoods, to them as adults, back in the house where it happened, and it’s so so good

Hellraiser: You tell me it’s about the blurry line between pleasure and pain and I watch it. The designs for the cenobites are so good. I like this first one a lot, but I also really enjoy the second one bc the torture dimension looks like MC Escher designed it and it’s sick as hell

The Others: This is one of my favorite, like, classic haunted house kind of movie. A mother keeps her kids inside an old mansion, with all the curtains drawn, because they have an illness that means they can’t go in the sunlight. Very, very creepy

The Blair Witch Project: This one just feels so real, I’ve never seen another found footage movie that reached this level. The actors knocked it out of the park, how am I so freaked out just by a couple of people wandering around the woods? It’s the blueprint, honestly

A Nightmare on Elm Street: You guys know this one, he gets you in your dreams! Probably my favorite of the classic slashers, I love some good old practical effects. my brother actually just bought me the WHOLE box set for my birthday so I’m gonna start working though the ones I haven’t seen yet 

Jennifer’s Body: What if your best friend, who you have a very homoerotic relationship with, started eating dudes? Iconic. No, but seriously, this movie has a lot more going on than you might think 

House of Wax (the 2000s remake): Bad, but so good. It’s really got that uncanny valley thing going on, love that fucked up wax museum

Ichi the Killer: Pretty unacceptable, I can’t in good conscience tell you to watch this movie, but it’s definitely an experience. Very very very violent, like super violent, but in the wildest fucking ways. Basically, what if you were a masochistic Yakuza member with a weird joker mouth and you just wanted a sadistic vigilante to beat the absolute shit out of you? Anyway, I think there’s something wrong with Takashi Miike and probably also me

Black Christmas: This is one of the og og slashers. It’s about girls getting killed in a sorority house, but surprisingly it’s like, not really an exploitation film, and I really like the characters. Good, unsettling killer, too

The Baby: WEIRD. Weird and uncomfortable. I’m not trying to kink shame anyone when I say this, but it’s probably definitely a fetish thing. In it, a social worker takes on the case of a family with an adult son who they’re claiming has the mind of a baby. This one’s probably kind of unacceptable too, to be honest with you

[slugtranslation-hypmic]

Ik this maybe sounds kinda random but I have a feeling you're latinoamerican Idk why.

Also what are your thoughts on the anime? I really liked the CGI I think it looked very cool and clean!! A-1 pictures did a good job 👏👏 I know it just started but I really hope its successful in japan, so maybe one day we could see Osaka and Nagoya animated :')

That’s probably because I am and am fairly vocal about it.

I live in the US and am racially pretty damn white, but my mother’s family is from Mexico. (Sorta. They’ve been in the US for a while now, and we’re not exactly sure who came across the border when because most old Mexican men can give Gentarou a run for his money when it comes to telling mentiras.) I was raised speaking both English and baby Spanish, but I lost the opportunity to practice it all that often when I was pretty little and as such forgot almost all of it, hahaha. Still, I can understand most written Spanish and a fair bit of common spoken Spanish, and I speak Spanglish with my mom. Growing up mostly white is pretty weird, since I don’t feel Latino enough to fit in with my own family (but they ARE my family) but also not white enough to fit in completely with my white peers. They don’t get how enchiladas are comfort food or how the words “mijo” and “mija” are love incarnate. They don’t get it why my parents have three bags of tortillas in their fridge at all times (it’s because I keep stealing them whenever I run out at my house) or the importance of owning a big-ass olla. It’s like... I don’t want to intrude in spaces where I don’t necessarily feel I have the right to belong, but I also want to acknowledge the struggle of my grandparents who worked as migrant farmers instead of going to school and gave up everything they had to give their kids a better life. I wonder how well I can do that, having forgotten their language and living as so much as a product of “American melting pot” culture. It’s... tricky. Identity is tricky.

Point is, I want to see Dice casually calling Otome “vieja”.

ANYWAY. Anime thoughts. I’ll put them under a cut for anyone concerned about spoilers.

The little kick the Buster Bros did in the opening on “buttobasu” (send ‘em flying) made me involuntarily laugh out loud. So dorky. Love them for that.

I was not sold on the opening back when I saw it in the previews, but I actually liked the full version quite a lot. The rap bits are a lot more impressive than the sort of generic chorus.

Love how it opened on TDD. I hope other episodes will follow suit and give more TDD backstory, because I think it delivers the best emotional impact when you know the reasons the anime boys are duking it out with one another.

TDD Samatoki has giant eyelashes even in the anime. Jesus christ.

TDD Ramuda appeared for about three seconds, and I was appeased.

The Buster Bros bit didn’t interest me too much, personally, but I thought it set the tone for the series really nicely. I also thought that a bunch of random dudes ganging up on these children and being like, “Heh heh, bitch, whatcha gonna do? We have microphones!” is hilarious.

BB rap was fantastic. I appreciated how much of a mix this was between the ARB and manga styles in terms of the way the raps appeared. Having the lyrics on screen was a GREAT thing for me as well. I also really enjoyed the moment where Saburou pushed Jirou out of the way and Ichirou stopped Jirou before he could retaliate. It wasn’t a distraction from the song at all but also characterized the familial interactions so clearly in just a few seconds. Kudos.

My VPN connection died during Ichijiku’s first talk with Otome, so idk what went on there.

I know Samatoki is supposed to be taken seriously, but for the life of me, I really can’t. I kept on snickering the whole time he was talking to the yakuza NPCs and acting tough. All his posturing is ridiculous to me.

Loved that MTC rap, although I kept laughing at that too. MTC is overkill.

I have a love/hate relationship with Samatoki’s speaker ever since I had to redraw part of that motherfucker sometime last year, but it is really damn cool looking. The animation for it blew me away. LOVED THAT.

Riou was there :)

I finally understood the significance of the cigarette kiss between Samatoki and Juuto. It’s to symbolize the whole “I scratch your back, you scratch mine” professional relationship they have, but I did think Juuto was leaning in for a kiss for a really bizarre moment.

Riou showing up to offer food :)

Eat Riou’s fucking food, Samatoki :)

I think Ramuda is a bit smaller than he should be as compared to the other cast members, but I will let it slide

Ramuda’s office is absolutely awful in color, but I will also let that slide

The Fling Posse interactions were a huge hit with me. I love seeing them hang out with one another and horse around the way that they do. Like the BBs’ scene, this was a great establishing shot for them.

I love how Dice rolls with Ramuda’s gratuitous English without missing a beat.

FP song wasn’t as hardcore as some of the other ones, but it was executed very well. Love the wordplay with the end of Ramuda’s and the beginning of Gentarou’s verse.

THE HIGH FIVE AT THE END OF THE SONG... HOO HOO!! NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, BABY! NOW THAT’S FRIENDSHIP RIGHT THERE!

Hypmic NPCs lowkey piss me off, especially all the “Kyaaa~!!!!” female NPC types. I get that they’re not supposed to be thought about all that much, but seriously...? Why is running from fangirls a plot point that keeps on being revisited?

They left Dice’s money behind... Bruh.......

Love how Doppo and Hifumi barge into Jakurai’s office nonchalantly.

The bit with the nurse establishes Hifumi’s character very well, although I still think Doppo’s being kind of an ass when he pulls Hifumi’s jacket off.

The whole fucking “terrorists on the roof” bit made me laugh again. Some of the Hypmic plot points are so contrived that I find them funny. It’s all silly good fun.

Love that rappers show up to push past the bumbling security guards/police. Excuse me, please, let me through... I’m a rapper.

Jakurai’s speaker was very well animated, but the way it appeared made me think of the Lionsgate logo. The mic animation was pretty cool too.

JAKURAI’S RAP ACTUALLY BLEW ME AWAY. I’m normally not a fan of Jakurai raps, but god DAMN was that cool.

Hifumi and Doppo didn’t drop the ball either. Fuck it UP, Matenrou.

I can’t believe they dropped lightning bolts on two people... especially when one was holding someone else hostage. Is that woman okay? Did she get fucking vaporized? I’ll never know.

Otome’s character model moves pretty stiffly, which I think actually helps her character because of how stoic she tries to act overall.

Ending song was dope. I wonder if they’ll feature other divisions in the endings of other episodes.

Ramuda leaping a good 3 meters in the air in the final shot is funny as fuck.

[v-vvia]

some kevaaron for you hungry sluts

Aaron Minyard was going to become a doctor. There were no exceptions, deviations-this was a fact. He grew up what could possibly be considered Hell on Earth, and he wanted to live a normal life. Of course, as soon as he scribbled his messy signature onto David Wymack’s contact that basically sold his soul to the exy coach for five years, he should have known his life would be anything but normal. Aaron should have known when he was adopted by his very much homosexual cousin and reunited with his psycotic twin brother that his life would never be normal. 

Kevin Day was going to be a professional exy star. He really had no other option, thanks to the Japanese yakuza. His life wasn’t normal and he knew it was never going to be normal. After leaving The Nest, Kevin had to learn how to be a member of society. He didn’t know how to make friends or be his own person. He didn’t know how to live. Being introduced to the Foxes was a big adjustment, but they accepted him and his crankiness. They were more of a family than he could ever ask for in life. 

Aaron, after moving out of the monster’s dorm, would find his way back to the hell pit every so often. Living with Matt meant an endless supply of coffee to fuel his long nights of studying. Yet, there was something missing. Maybe it was Andrew’s cold stare as he drank milk straight from the carton. Maybe it was Nicky’s late night video chats with Erik, keeping them all up with his loud voice. Most of all, maybe it was Kevin’s constant need to be warm. 

Aaron swore that dorm room was set at seventy-five degrees, even in the sweltering summer heat. He hated it after a long and hot practice but, now that Matt kept the windows open in the winter, he missed it. 

Which is how he, at quarter to one in the morning on December 13th, found himself carrying his bag full of textbooks and a blanket pulled from his bed into the monster’s dorm. Andrew and Neil weren’t anywhere to be found but, Nicky and Kevin sat in the beanbag chairs in front of the TV. Nicky was losing his patience trying to teach Kevin how to play some video game. Kevin looked like he was about to burst a vein in his forehead. They both turned when the door opened. 

“Well, if it isn’t my long lost son,” Nicky said happily with a grin. 

“Not your son,” Aaron replied, used to this. “I don’t think you could produce a child this good looking.” 

“Ouch! Savagely burned by my own flesh and blood!” Nicky dramatically placed a hand to his heart. He fell back against the beanbag. “After all I’ve done for you! I’ve washed your underwear and cum socks and this is the repayment I get? You’re lucky I don’t ground you, mister!”

“Do you know how to shut that mouth of yours?” Aaron practically collapsed onto the couch behind the two, letting out a sigh as he dropped his heavy bag. 

“Do you know how to ever take a break?” Nicky retorted, looking back at the cousin with only a face that could be described as a motherly Latino ‘you did not just sass me, child’ face. “Seriously, dude. You’re up until ungodly hours of the night and then you get up at 6 to make it to morning practice. And aren’t you taking like, 18 credits? You sir,” Nicky pointed a finger. “are either a madman or stupid. Probably both if you’re my child.” 

“You’re not a medicine major, Nicky. I’ve gotta work twice as hard as everyone else,” Aaron mumbled, shrugging. “Besides, why do you think I came here? Since when have I ever done any work in the presence of your loud mouth?” 

“Good point. Want in on next round?” the cousin asked, offering him the third controller. Aaron shook his head. He let himself lean back into the couch and actually rest. 

“I just came here to cool off for a few before I head to the library,” he said, pushing the controller away with his foot. His Addias joggers and his high top Chuck Taylors didn’t really go together but he wasn’t known to be the most fashionable. If it was comfortable and he could hide snacks in the pockets, he was sold. 

“Suit yourself,” Nicky replied, turning back around. “Another round, Kev?” Kevin lifted his hand and checked the time on his watch. 

“I placed some books on hold at the library earlier and they should be ready. I should go pick them up before I get carried away,” Kevin said, stretching his long limbs. His Foxes shirt lifted a little with the action; the small glimpse of bare skin caught Aaron’s eye. He couldn’t help but stare, not noticing that the man had said something to him. 

“Earth to Aaron,” Nicky said, waving his hand in front of his face. “C’mon, I know Kevin’s insufferable sometimes but you gotta respect your elders.” 

“Fuck you,” Aaron said before turning to Kevin. “What did you say?”

“I said we should go to the library together.” Kevin stood, walking over to his desk to grab his bookbag and dorm keys. “I know you’re practically flunking American history and we can’t have you being benched because you’re an idiot.” 

“Okay, fuck you too,” Aaron said. His words had no weight because he stood with his bag. “Hurry up before I change my mind.” The two walked towards the door, saying a quick farewell to Nicky on their way out. Aaron was sure Nicky would be grateful to have a quiet dorm for a while, so he could call Erik. “I need to get my history stuff from my room if we’re doing this.” Kevin nodded and followed the shorter man to the other end of the hall. Aaron unlocked the door, knocking once in case Matt and Dan were practicing for their honeymoon. Stepping inside, he found that it was empty and dark. Matt had left the windows open, yet again, sending a shiver down Aaron’s spine. 

“Its cold in here,” Kevin said, blank faced. 

“Yeah, no shit dumbass.” Aaron walked over to his desk, flipping on a light along the way. The living area was decorated with a couch and television-both of which were Matt’s. Aaron didn’t care much to decorate. The only thing he needed and had was a picture of him, Nicky, and Andrew pinned on his desk. It was from his and Andrew’s high school graduation and he swore he could almost see a glimpse of genuine happiness in Andrew’s eyes. 

“Can I ask a question?” Kevin said, poking around the room. 

“You’re gonna ask anyways so get on with it.” 

“Am I really that insufferable?” Something in Kevin’s voice made Aaron turn. He frowned once he saw Kevin’s usually cool demeanor turn unexpectedly serious. Kevin didn’t care what anyone thought about him. He only cared about exy. Why was this even a conversation the two were having?

“I mean,” Aaron started, not really sure how to approach this. “you’re annoying but I wouldn’t call you insufferable. What’s with you, man?” 

Kevin stood silent for a moment. “Sometimes I hear Nicky telling Erik how mean I am.” Another moment of silence passed. “I don’t want to be like him, Aaron.” 

Something inside Aaron’s stomach churned. Kevin didn’t have to say a name for him to know he was talking about his former teammate, Riko Moriyama. It had never occured to Aaron that Kevin had feelings about things over that exy. That was all he talked about and never once brought up emotions. 

“You aren’t like him,” Aaron said. His voice was unexpectedly soft. “You’re never going to be like him.” Aaron dropped his bag onto his desk. “Sit down. We’ll get your stupid books later. You want some hot chocolate? That always cheers Andrew up.” Kevin sat himself down on the couch while Aaron crossed the room to make two cups of hot chocolate. 

“Do you still think about your mom?” Kevin asked, his voice just as quiet as Aaron’s. “I still think about Riko all the time. I see him when I close my eyes. I can’t sleep hardly because hes...he’s always there. He’s there after eight hours waking me up to go to practice. He’s there counting my calories and picking my food. How do I live when he’s still with me?”

“I think about my mom a lot,” Aaron said, bringing over the hot cup. He handed it to Kevin before sitting down himself. “Not as much as I used to but yeah, I do.” Aaron wasn’t one to talk about this stuff. He liked burying it deep inside him and letting it spill out once a week during his session with Betsy. “Talking about it helped. As much as I absolutely hate Neil with my whole being, he was right. Pushing me towards Betsy was the only right thing he’s ever done. You should try it sometime.”

“I don’t talk to her,” Kevin admitted. “I don’t want her to think I’m crazy or something.”

“She talks to Andrew every week. I think you’ll be on the mild end of her patient spectrum.” Kevin let out a breathy laugh that sent Aaron’s stomach into a somersault. 

“I guess you’re right,” Kevin said, looking over at the other. They both sat on either end of the couch, leaning back against the armrests to face each other. “Sorry...For dropping this all on you. You’re really the only one who might get it.” 

Aaron waved a hand. “Yeah yeah, its whatever dude. Just drink your hot chocolate before I stop being nice and kick you out.” They both shared a laugh before going back to sitting in silence. Eventually, Aaron turned on a movie and they both just sat. They drank their drinks, keeping their eyes on the screen in front of them. Somehow, Aaron’s legs ended up up on the couch, his feet resting comfortably against Kevin’s thighs. Somehow, Kevin’s hand found itself rested on Aaron’s calf. Somehow, Kevin and Aaron ended up laying, side by side, buried underneath Aaron’s comforter. They slowly drifted to sleep, Kevin’s head on Aaron’s chest. Whatever they were watching was long forgotten in favor of each other’s presence. They weren’t worried about Matt walking in; they were far too sleep deprived to give any thought to it. 

[singular-braincells]

hey y’all sorry for being inactive. college apps are stressful. also my updates are literally everywhere ⚆ _ ⚆. i hope y’all are doing well during this pandemic and if you need someone to talk to i am just a dm away.

also my writing style really do be garbage though lmao. also probably ooc kags

word count: 1.4k words

kageyama + reader who wants to learn volleyball

"(L/n)-chan, you should come to the beach with us on Friday!"

"Why?"

"We're gonna play volleyball and I promised my friends that I would find one more person to be on our team." You furrow your eyebrows. "I don't play volleyball?".

"Isn't Kageyama your boyfriend? He can teach you right?" I mean, he could, but I don't think he'd enjoy teaching me all that much.

"I'm not quite sure? I think I have plans this weekend anyways..." You think back to your library of unplayed games and get a little giddy on the inside. "I know you don't have any plans this weekend. Playing Yakuza 0 all weekend does not count as plans."

"Well darn, you got me. I don't think I want to go-" Your friend interrupts you. "I'll buy you 4 pork buns and 2 boba teas whenever you want."

"Deal."

They squeals at your response. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! You won't regret this!" You scoff playfully at them. "I'm sure I won't if you're gonna buy me that much food anytime I want." Both of you say your goodbyes to one another and your boyfriend pops his head into your room. "Food is here. Who was on the phone?" He asks as you get up from your desk. You stretch for a moment before walking towards him. "Just a friend who wanted me to do them a favor." You answer while hugging Kageyama's tall frame.

"Speaking of favors, can I ask you for a favor?"

---------------

"I don't understand American tv. Why is the sponge living in the water?" You nudge Kageyama's arm. "Shut up this was my childhood." You shush him. "You said you needed to ask me for something earlier. What was it?" Kageyama asks as he pulls you closer to him by the waist.

"Oh, that. Can you teach me volleyball? Not like everything, but like the basics? My friends want me to play volleyball with them at the beach this weekend." You fiddle with the hem of your shirt and wait for his response. Kageyama goes silent. "Er, Tobio?" You poke his muscular biceps a couple of times. Looking up at him you see his sapphire eyes glow. Finally, he speaks up with a blush on his face, "You want to learn volleyball?" You nod.

"If you want to teach me. If not I completely understand and I can ask Hinata-" Kageyama interrupts you by pulling you up off the couch and excitedly engulfs you in a hug. "No, don't ask him. I'll teach you." Kageyama exclaims hugging you tighter. "Thanks Tobio." You pat the top of his head with light blush on your face.

---------------

The next couple of days Kageyama teaches you the rules and basics of volleyball. Kageyama had set up a small net he brought in your backyard. It was very tiring, but a fun for the both of you. Kageyama was teaching you how to serve, but you couldn't get the form of your arms right.

"Why can't I just do the thing right?" You pout as you glare at the volleyball in your hands. "It's okay, I'll help you get it right." Kageyama takes the ball from your hands and gives your right cheek a small kiss.

He stands behind you and helps fix your form. "Straighten your back. Slouching is bad for your form." He instructs as he put his hand on your lower back and your face is set on fire with this intimate action. You do as he says and try serving again only this time you didn't hit the net. "Yooo!!!" You cheer as you give Kageyama a high five. He couldn't help but think about how adorable you looked. It warmed his heart to see you enjoy the activity he plays constantly.

"Did I do good?! Did I? Did I?" You beam happily and Kageyama only smirks.

"Almost."

"What?? Let me try again." You rush to the other side of the net and retrieve the ball and Kageyama can't help but smile at how childish you sounded.

---------------

It was finally Friday and you and Kageyama arrived at the nearby beach. You wore your favorite bathing suit under a pair of shorts and one of Kageyama's shirts. You packed a backpack full of everything you needed; snacks, money, sunscreen, first aid, extra clothing, towels, etc.

"So I'm supposed to meet up with the group at noon and it's 11:15 right now." You glance at your phone for the time and for any texts from your friend group. "So what do you want to do until then, Kageyama?"

"Can we go eat lunch?" He asked and you nodded. "Sure, I saw this really good sandwich place on the way here." You gently take Kageyama's hand into yours and lead him towards the pier where the shops were. The two of you enjoy your time at the little sandwich shop and don't notice that noon was approaching sooner than you thought.

"Shoot. Kageyama we're gonna be late if we don't go now." You say as you chug your drink from the shop and throw it away in a nearby trash can. The both of you rush to the spot where you were supposed to meet up with your friends.

"(L/n)-chan! You're here!" Your friend engulfs you into a tight hug. "Wouldn't miss it for the world." You hug them back. "Do you mind if Kageyama watches us play?" Your friend shakes their head. "Nah not a problem at all. Come on, let's go get set up." You ask them to give you a minute to talk to Kageyama and they nod as they leave.

"Uh, g-good luck." Kageyama stutters out and you squeeze his hands. "Thanks. Can I get a good luck kiss." You tease and point to your forehead. This causes Kageyama to flush before he shyly leans down to kiss your forehead. "There. Happy?" You nod your head. "I gotta go help them set up. You'll be watching right?" Kageyama nods his head. "Okay, I'll see you in a bit love." You give him a quick kiss on his cheek and head over to your friend group where they're talking to the opposing team.

Your friend, the captain of your team, and another person shake hands wish one another good game. You turn to where Kageyama is sitting and see him fiddle with his water bottle awkwardly. He sees you looking at him and you give him a goofy smile with thumbs up.

Your team is serving first so your friend tosses you the ball. "Good serve (L/n)-chan." They cheer while you focus on all the tips Kageyama gave you in the past week. You can feel Kageyama's intense stare on your back and it gives you chills. 'Just don't mess this up' you think as you nervously toss the ball into the air. The ball hits your hand with a satisfyingly and it goes soaring over the net. The other team precedes to receive the ball poorly and it flys out of bounds, earning your team a point. Your teammates give you high fives and encouragement.

You turn towards Kageyama with a grin on your face. You gesture finger guns in his direction and give him a flirty wink. He flushes red then hides his face. 'I swear I have the cutest boyfriend...' you smile even wider. Your attention is brought back to the sandy court when the ball is tossed in your direction. “Give us another nice serve (L/n)-chan!” You nod and toss the ball in the air.

---------------

“Hey Kageyama, did you have a good time today?” You nudge him while the two of you are walking home from the beach. “Yeah, it was good.” You smile softly at his response and reach out to hold his hand. In all honesty, you weren’t sure if Kageyama would enjoy watching you mess up your blocks and receives. You were sure it irritated him.

“Are you mad that I messed up my blocking at the end of the game?” He shakes his head. “No, you did great today. I’m proud of you.” Truly he was proud of you. He was ecstatic to be able to spend time with you and teach you volleyball. Watching the love of his life trying their best to play a sport he dedicates his life to was something that sent his heart into overdrive.

“Okay, let’s go home. It’s getting pretty late and cold.” You squeeze Kageyama’s large hands as the two of you continued to stroll under the evening sky.

[beevean]

How about a top 5 (or 10 if you prefer) best and worst bosses in video games? :D

I’m not very well versed in videogames, but anyway...

WORST

10) Chaos 4 (Sonic Adventure): Not a big fan of bosses who waste so much time - ooh, look at that, trying to hit me with very slow, very telegraphed attacks, and taking more and more time to becomes vulnerable the more the fight progresses. Also not a big fan of Tactical Suicide Bosses (excuse me Chaos, why is your strategy “stay in the water for increasingly amounts of time and then decide to raise my head to breathe”? In this form you’re a fish!). Even less of a fan of bosses that you have to fight three times to complete the game.

9) Sonic and Diablon (Shadow the Hedgehog): They couldn’t have come up with a more boring boss if they tried. Shoot the shield, shoot the cannon, avoid the hand, run away when you hear the word “anti-matter”, kick Sonic in the head, slowly chip at the large energy bar, rinse and repeat. The G.U.N. Fortress version is particularly painful, too, as the arena only offers those piss poor pistols with 10 bullets and minimal damage. And much like Chaos 4, you have to fight this lovely boss three times to get to the Last Story, except you don’t even get a different character with different abilities. Also, poor Sonic, from protagonist of the series reduced to nothing more than a footstep.

8) Collision Chaos boss (Sonic CD): Try to play a boss that relies on wonky pinball physics, that shoots projectiles with the only purpose of changing your already precarious trajectory, in the Bad Future that adds slightly more bumpers to destroy, with the American music (I linked the extended version to properly depict the experience). Pain is real.

7) Egg Pinball (Sonic Advance 3): Surprise! I find this boss worse than the more famous Egg Chaser. Yes, the Egg Chaser is very anxiety-inducing with its bottomless pit and the ball chain sending you into it, but once you learn the pattern of the platforms and that Amy as a partner makes it a joke it’s not that bad. This one, though? Even with Amy/Sonic, which is the only team where your partner is useless but you aren’t, this boss relies too much on luck, expecially by the end when way too many balls are flying across the screen. It’s almost funny, in a “screw you” way, that this is one of the two bosses in the game that can’t be hit by Cheese, in the stage where you finally unlock Cream. Pinball and Sonic don’t mix as well as Sonic Team thinks, apparently.

6) Boost Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): This boss’ strategy isn’t even that bad, it’s just that it hits you like a truck in an environment that is already sipping you of health. If being hit was less punishing, guessing the correct timing to jump over it would be fun. Too overkill for its placement in the game.

5) Mother Brain (Metroid Zero Mission): MB in the original Metroid 1 was... there, with the difficulty of the final boss coming from those stupid Rinkas pushing you into the lava below. In the remake, which otherwise is much easier than the original game, you have to think about the Rinkas, the lava, and MB who shots you fireballs! And if you fall into the lava (and you will spend half of the time in the lava)? She closes her eye and protects her only weak spot, forcing you to wait at the mercy of the Rinkas hitting you all over again. Asshole.

4) Dark Gaia (Sonic Unleashed): Dark Gaia, as a whole, is a stain on an otherwise beautiful game. Setting aside his “character” for a while: this boss is way, WAY too long (the first time I clocked at 11 minutes, like hell I’m trying again), the Gaia Colossus phase is frustrating for how slow it is and for having a nigh-unavoidable attack, the running phase requires pitch-perfect timing otherwise say bye bye to your life, and the Super Sonic phase is essentially “slipping down the shield to run over a bunch of snakes, then QTE up your ass”. Riveting. At least it has some banging music...

3) Egg Saucer (Sonic Advance 2): The bosses in SAd2 are already questionable with their “wind pushing you backwards” physics, but this one flings you enough bullshit to make you ragequit. Whoisthisgit made an excellent video explaining everything that makes this boss such a miserable experience. I am so sorry, Knuckles, that you had to be associated with this tragedy.

2) Antlion Mecha (Sonic 2, Game Gear): So let me get this straight devs, you take a boss that is already a little too had as the first boss in the game, you put it in a console with a much smaller screen, you screw up the slope physics making it just a little too easy to slide into the antlion’s jaws (and of course you don’t have any Rings), and on top of that you make the trajectory of the projectiles random when in the Master System they were consistent? Great game design there, guys :V

1) Spider Guardian (Metroid Prime 2, Gamecube): I was never as close as bestemmiare ogni santo e pure il padre eterno as I was when I was trying to beat this abomination. I love the Ing theme, but FUCK if I wasn’t hating every single sound of it while playing, OH MY GOD I envy the people who played it on the Wii so damn much

BEST

10) Robot Carnival/Storm (Sonic Heroes): Yes! Yes, I do like this boss! I’m probably the only one, I don’t care, I find these fights cathartic, especially with Team Chaotix <3

9) Jet Drill (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The strategy may be simple, but I love the setup of Eggman destroying an ancient garden just to kill Sonic and I love how it emphasizes how much of a reliable bro Tails is. (let’s just ignore the fact that with Tails alone this boss is a pain...)

8) Doomsday Zone (Sonic 3 & Knuckles): The series had its fair share of Super Sonic bosses, but so far no one has beaten the original. It has excellent music, you can feel the tension as you smartly redirect Eggman’s missiles to him and as you chase him down through space, and Eggman in this game is really ready to do anything to win, I love it

7) Beta mk. II (Sonic Adventure): This is probably the best part of Gamma’s campaign. 90% of it is kindergarten-easy, and then Hot Shelter and the final boss are a sudden, but welcome spike in difficulty. Beta mk. II is a far cry from any other E-series robot you’ve faced, being almost completely invulnerable, hitting you with straight up nukes, and the time is still ticking in the corner. Then you add the context of having to kill your brother, and the deceptively upbeat theme, and it becomes a memorable experience.

6) Cykka (Metroid Prime 2): The first phase is fairly boring, but Adult Cykka is really fun to fight for some reason. Not only it has a cool design, but it’s a fast-paced battle (due to having to use the Grapple Beam to swing from platform to platform) where you have to go ham on the boss at certain points (when it becomes Dark Cykka), my two favorite styles for a boss.

5) Nightmare (Metroid Fusion): A name, a certainty. This boss looks, sounds and attacks in a way that makes you feel confused and powerless. Even at it becomes a game of “climb the stairs, shoot at its ungodly face, jump around to avoid it”, it’s still tense.

4) Ridley (Super Metroid): SM isn’t famous for having great bosses, but they put all of their effort into Ridley and it shows. There’s no strategy here, it’s simply “kill him before he kills you”. At this point you’re pretty much at the peak of your strength, you went through literal Hell to get The Baby back, you’re not going to be stopped by the asshole who killed your parents.

3) Shibusawa Keiji (Yakuza 0): What a beast of a final boss. The first Dragon of Dojima is the perfect foil to Kiryu, having all of his strength and style but none of his compassion, and beating him up to a bloody pulp, especially as you see him become sloppier and sloppier, is so, so cathartic. Also, Two Dragons, what more can I say?

2) Egg Dragoon (Sonic Unleashed): Best boss in the series? I don’t know but it’s surely in the top 10, and it’s ironic that you play as the hated Werehog. Not only it has some delicious music (that generations ruined), but it’s such a fun climax after the hell and a half that is Eggmanland! On one hand, Eggman sounds seriously angry and he is ready to kill Sonic (and if you take too much time, which admittedly is hard if you’re not doing it on purpose, he is positively gleeful while he sends you into a fiery death); on the other, Sonic just rips this giant robot apart like tissue paper, and even if it’s done through QTEs, it looks awesome.

1) Kuze Daisaku (Yakuza 0): I’ll let this say it all. If I had to pick a favorite version, the fifth one was my favorite to fight (by that point you have likely upgraded Kiryu’s abilities to the point of making him a juggernaut), but the second one is iconic for a reason... multiple, in fact. “DIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

Special mention to Majima in Y1, YK and YK2 because he looks really fun, but I have never faced him myself so yeah.