#pyro cooks tonight

[earthearthearththearth]

Third date head canons! Like when you know it’s ‘for sure’

When The Mercs Know It's For Sure(TF2)

Includes: The Mercs, Miss Pauling notes:Yes, squeet is a kurtis conner reference

🛠Engineer- Bringing out all those nicknames. Darling, sweetheart, love, honey. Yeah. He likes to be sure of his feelings before getting with someone and honey, he is SURE. I think that for a third date, like most of them it would be very casual. Sometimes he likes to sing some songs for the mercs, mostly just pyro, heavy, and demo because the rest ‘got better things to do’. He specifically tells you about it this time. Usually if you show up it’s because you over hear. He’d sing a few ditties, but since is he corny-comes from being a country guy, zing, he sings a song you can’t quite ping as a love song. If you do manage to pick up on that, who knows if it’s to you. But you know for sure when he ends up asking you to be official a little while later when it’s just you two

🔥Pyro-I don’t imagine Pyro to take you out on “real” dates. He asks you to come along with him on missions and just anything he decides to do. Or he asks(or doesn’t) to follow you around. So the ‘third date’ is just normal to you. He looks at you a lot. Just sits and stares. At first it scares you a little. Just big..black..voids..staring…into..your…soul. You ask him what the deal is sometimes and he just laughs or shakes his head like you wouldn’t get it. You like Pyro, but these signs you’re getting could literally mean anything. So you ask the one person who can understand him, Engie, who says Pyro’s just head over heels for you. You ask Pyro if this is true, who is a bit flustered that you told someone about it, even if Engie already knew. I think Pyro signs sometimes, so you two have a little conversationa and whabam. Yall get together

⚾Scout-So he’s like…quieter and somehow more talkative? A lot of “Uh Yeah, that’s stupid”s. You tell him you’re listening, but it’s a lost cause. When he’s not packing his little knapsack and walking away sadly, he calls you “toots”. Lots of that. Still lots of flexing both his skills at picking things up or his little noodly arms. The date isn’t a prom this time, but very reminiscent of Spy’s teachings since there aren’t any giant bread monsters to save you from. Unless…no. Too risky. The date is literally just a set up to ask you out. 

“Sure are a lot of stars out tonight.”

“Kinda cloudy..”

“Nah, look, there’s one!”

“Scout, that’s a plane.”

“Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky-”

Turns out the plane is an enemy plane about to bomb the base. You both die immediantly.

Kidding, he just is kinda like “So…I’m kinda into you?” So of course you tell him you know, and end up asking him out instead. 

🦅Soldier- A date for him is breaking the necks of anyone who dare disrespect america. Kilometer? He only knows squeet. But if you don’t feel like breaking the neck of your local Australian, then there’s other fun activities to do. Like fighting bears or getting naked and covering yourself with honey. Or perhaps you want to go break open a beehive to get said honey. No? Jesus, lot of fun you are. The date is just a plan then. Get out the blueprint, plan for the next mission, which will probably be one of the previously mentioned activities. Since you’re helping the planning stage, it’ll probably be easier to convince him to let you stay out of all that. I don’t know how he’d ask you out. He’d probably just announce that he has an s/o now and you’re like “this is news”. But since you’re here, you’re probably cool with it.

🗡Spy-Yes his dates are elaborate and fun and fancy, however him asking you to be official is not as much. When he realizes he knows that you and him are For Sure, he is flustered by you. Spy may be suave and French, but he is very easily flustered if you can outdo him with words, and do not let him forget it. Not that you could. The third date is set up by him. He makes a little spot in his smoking room for you two and cooks up something you probably can’t pronounce. You find the intimacy a little strange, and before now you couldn’t tell if he actually liked you or was just playing around. But now, with this whole set-up made by him, you knew. He gives you a little necklace, something simple but clearly expensive. With that, he finally pops the not-marriage question, but gosh does it feel like it.

💉Medic-So he gives you the Blu medic’s heart. It’s in a nice little box, and the next time you visit his office he hands it to you. This is because it’s the closest he can get to his own heart. He tried. Unfortunately during this he almost died, so the Blu heart is the closest you get. His plan was to have you guys dig it out together, but he is very particular. He can’t have his love get in the way of science. Hopefully you appreciate it because you are very special to him! Maybe he’ll let you dissect it for fun and definitely because he doesn’t have some strange feelings about seeing you covered in blood commiting atrocious acts.

💣Demoman-So the first few dates were not getting shitfaced, but now that it’s the third, he’s gonna take you to where he spends a fair majority of his time. Having a teleporter makes traveling real easy, but he figures it’s a bit more romantic to drive. So he takes you with him to drive to a little hole-in-the-wall bar, the only one around. It starts out rather calm, but eventually he gets shitfaced and real clingy. You drink some, but yall need a designated driver that can at least see straight. You guys probably fall asleep in the car in the parking lot, but you know. Sometimes it’s like that. When you guys finally wake up and discuss what you can remember, he says he loves you. Aw.

🦘Sniper-Everyone on this list is a little weirdo and he is no exception. The date isn’t a date. He’s not a date guy. Maybe he picks you up a flower or rock he sees poking out of the desert, but that’s it. It’s the thought that counts. So the ‘third date’ is probably really early in the morning when you two cross paths. He says something like, “I was thinking you and I could get together for a while.” And you ask how long a while is, which results in “I dunno, I just like you”. Sweet. Yeah he’s uh. Not the most romantic guy around, but he tries.

🐻Heavy-A bit more romantic. The third date is just the two of you. He asks if you’d like to cook together which you accept, knowing he won’t blow the kitchen up. It’s calm and quiet. Until Pyro decides he wants to use the oven and yall gotta practically shoo him out with a broom. What’s cookin is good lookin’. It is looking good. You guys win! I think you’d end up asking Heavy out because he is very patient and doesn’t want to put pressure on you since it is a war that you two are in still. 

👓Miss Pauling-The same as the first. If she’s going out with you on one date, then she’s probably into you a lot. One day off a year, you know? So you two would just hang out. She’d be like really nervous for some reason-you had noticed it before but she seems kind of stand-offish. You ask her what’s up, prompting her to tell you a jumble of sort-of words that you finally make out to be a confession. 

[wood-row]

can i really drive in the engineer dad hc. medic is just a little boy to me

Scout has often noticed how Dell tries to father the rest of his teammates. Perhaps it's his own lack of a father figure that prompts his observation, but he can't shake it, that strange familiarity.

He watches Sniper stalk into the living room, grumbling about the small box of leftovers that made its way into her camper fridge. Dell's handwriting litters the base- scrawled into the crevice of the Shortstop, Scout can just make out the Engineer's faded note taking. She complains of his mother henning, but Scout does not miss the way she bregrudgingly admires the taste, how she misses having those home cooked meals.

The older ones, Scout notices, get fathered too. Tonight he watches Demo across the fire. It's a good night for a fire, the whole lot of them had sat around the camp, cleaning weapons and trading stories. That was an hour ago, and now only Scout remains, watching sadly from the flames as Tavish drinks himself into a stupor.

"Now, what're y'all still doin' out this late?" Scout looks over and cringes at the florescent light that floods the outside. Dell stands in the doorway, a blanket hauled over his shoulders and a bottle of water in his hand, like he'd expected to walk into this exact scene. Heavy footfalls mark the end of the night, and Scout rises to put out the fire, watching the two from the corner of his eye.

Dell stoops down first to offer Tavish the bottle, unscrews the cap and even puts it to his lips when his hands falter. Dell hums, discontent as he rises, sighing when his back pops with the motion. In a moment, Dell wraps the blanket over the Demo's shoulders, holds it in place with both hands and steers him to the open door.

"You'll catch cold, out here all night..and you too, boy." Scout hears just as he stomps the last embers out.

But there's one Scout doesnt understand.

Today, he's shadowing the Heavy. Mischa proves uninteresting, but tolerant as Scout perches on top of the sofa, squinting down at at novel in Heavy's hands. A quiet afternoon, Scout heaves a sigh, and leaves his perch to find something more interesting.

A flurry of wings accompany the boom of the Med Bay's doors slamming open. Footsteps slap against the tile floors, and Scout looks up just in time to watch Pyro sprint out of the Med Bay, crying in distress.

Scout blinks at the destruction left in their wake- and empty hallway, untouched. The doors slowly creak shut. When he speaks, uttering his confusion, he is quickly shushed by Mischa, but Dell fills in the blanks, marching into the livingroom with a small tupperware and a bottle of water. He pays little mind to Scout's gawking and brushes past, shuffling through the Med Bay doors.

Of course, Scout follows, gently pushing the doors open to peer inside, then tip-toeing carefully to an apt hiding spot.

The sight is not a familiar one. The doctor is always very headstrong, even if he is undoubtedly manic. Unshakable in even the worst battles, Scout has come to see Günter as almost a beacon of their fighting cause. Infallible.

Günter sits with his back against the desk. He would be facing the double doors, but his face is well obscured. Dell crouches down to his level.

"What's wrong, pardner?" He says, so softly Scout nearly misses it.

"Pyro say somethin'? Aw, you know he don't mean nothin' by it. You just riled up, is all. Now, what's the matter?"

Scout wonders if Günter really is in his fifties. Maybe hes just a boy, pretending to be the old man he is. It sure seems to be that way, and Günter leans foreard to Dell's open arms, hands white-knuckling the fabric of his work shirt. Dell holds him there, makes himself comfortable on the hard floor and rocks Günter slowly, like a babe.

Scout watches for a time, feeling awfully like he'd seen something he shouldn't have. Günter cries like a child, but that doesn't seem to matter; his childishness, Dell holds him all the same. When those sobs pitter out into nothing, save the soft hiccuping, Dell gently wipes the tears away before they dry, hoists Medic up and then keeps him there. Scout sees the look on Günters face: lost, disconnected. He thinks he might start crying again at any given second.

"There y'go, good job, big guy. Let's get you to bed, huh?" And Günter can only nod, following Dell like a child at the heel of his father into the bedroom close connected. Scout slips out in the meantime, left to ponder what he'd seen.

[literally-a-waffle-fry]

RED OKTOBERFEST: sweet little birds (part one)

Although the red Heavy weapons specialist had just woken up and showered,he now stood over the sink, eyeing himself in the mirror as he shaved his slightly stubbly face. He continued happily for a while until he was happy with his perfectly shaven jowls. He looked at himself again in satisfaction before hearing the Engineer politely knock on the bathroom door.

"Hey Partner! Just wanted to let you know that breakfast is ready!" He paused lightly before remembering and excitedly blurted " Oh yes! How could I forget already?  Apparently, the administrator wants see us all...somethin' bout' some announcement." The Engineer mentioned before awaiting the fellow mercenary's response.

"Da...will be there in minute." The Heavy continued getting ready. He shifted himself into a pair of grey sweatpants and his signature shirt with fist symbols before exiting his room.

As Misha arrived to their kitchen area,he smelt bacon and pancakes. He sighed as he realized that Jane was doing the cooking today, as Jane had always said they needed an "True American Breakfast.". The heavy looked at everybody who was sitting at the table, who seemed to be in very good moods today.

   At the table, Scout and Pyro were sitting next to each other and discussing some comic book they had bonded over. Aside from them, The Sniper, Soldier, Engineer, and Demoman were laughing over some joke as they ate their first meal of the day. Which was rare, considering the Sniper barely left his small van for the mornings as he tended to grab his breakfast and eat in his van. Spy was sitting at the end of the table, smoking a cigar as he read his newspaper. And now, Misha sat at his chair, eating his meal happily as he watched the other mercenaries. Misha thought for a moment, realizing something was off.

"ATTENTION!! The blu team has announced a surrender and cease fire! Enjoy your breaks!" The Administrators voice had boomed throughout the building. Everyone looked at eachother quietly for a moment before Scout had jumped from his seat. "Well! I'm headed out! I got a hot date tonight anyways!" The Scout chuckled before walking away the room.

The Spy and Sniper had also now begin to leave toward their areas, and Soldier, Demoman, and Engineer had went for their morning workouts.

Heavy sat by himself, thinking deeply. Why did he feel so off today? "Oh.." he thought for a moment. He moved from his seat and grabbed a plate of food for the Medic. He then began to walk towards the Infirmary where the Medic must have been working. He looked around worried for a moment before seeing the Medic asleep on his desk. Misha had lightly tapped the Medics shoulder and the man sprung to life.

The doctor awakened slowly before he screamed and looked at the other with his blue, frightened eyes.

"Hoho Heavy! Don't scare me like zhat! You know I'm a light sleeper!" The medic barked loudly. Misha looked at him guiltily before the Medic had responded with a slight pout. "Oh...I'm sorry Heavy, is there somezing you need? You didn't get a papercut again did you?" Misha nodded his head no and moved closer to the Medic.

"Is Doktor okay? Seems like you had nightmare." Misha put his hand on the man's shoulder lightly in attempt to soothe him.

"Oh! No dear Heavy! I am perfectly fine! I'm so sorry about that. Still, vhy are you here?"

" Misha has news for Doktor! Administrator said we get a break! Blu surrendered! For now at least...puny babies." Misha responded happily as he cracked his knuckles in amusement.

"Oh! Wunderbar! Zhis means I can work on my experiments some more! Hoohoo!" Misha smiled lightly at the other man's excitement before thinking lightly.

"Shouldn't Doktor take a break?"

The doctor, who was currently finishing some scrambled notes from the night before, looked at the other in confusion."Vhat do you mean? I just can't abandon all my vork! So much time means so much I can do!"

The heavy placed his large hands on the Medics shoulder.

“Doktor, all this work is bad for you. Doktor needs break so he can come back and do more and better work later and not hurt himself. You are very important member of team and we can’t afford to lose anyone. Heavy will take you someplace nice. We will have good time, da?

The Medic looked at Misha as he grumbled slightly. "But Misha! There is so much I must do! I won't have time to do zhis later!" The medic dropped his silver pen onto the desk in slight frustration.

"Yes you will Doktor. Now, relax for a bit. Doktor doesn't always have to work." The larger man had rubbed the Medics shoulders with his large yet gentle hands, effectively soothing the older man.

The Heavy began to feel some weight on his shoulders and he looked until he saw the Medics beloved dove Archimedes, who was perching upon him and nuzzling Heavy.

He then moved his hand towards the bird, effectively letting Archimedes perch upon his finger. The large man then gently settled the bird on Ludwig's shoulder.

"Oh! Hallo there, little Archimedes! I'm up late again, aren't I? Are you hungry, my Süß little dove?" Ludwig cooed gently at his beloved pet as he reached for a bag of bird seed.

Heavy looks at the affection given and how cute the two are together, thinking of how sweet it was. “Did Archimedes make doctor feel better? Would anything else help doktor, such as getting out of office? I know a good place doktor would love.”

Ludwig looked at Misha with a curious smile.

"Oh? And what would zhat place be?"

"It is surprise doktor! Would you like to go today?"

The older man almost jumped in excitement as he grabbed Misha's hands.

"Ja!" The man exclaimed as he clenched Mishas hands even tighter. "Zhank you for zhis Heavy. I don't know what I vould do vithout you." Misha had pulled the other man into his lap for a small sweet kiss, eventually separating and caressing Ludwig's cheek.

"Let's get ready, da? Dress light doktor, will be very hot there." Misha patted Ludwigs shoulder lightly before they both departed to get ready for their date.

[pysoch]

I've HAD IT up to HERE with MISCHARACTERIZATION OF MY BOOKIES in terms of RELATIONSHIPS.

What set me over the edge was JACQUES BONNEFOY.

So for tonight and tonight ONLY I'm setting aside my pride to tell MY headcanons of the mercs and what'd they do in relationships.

Mentions of nsfw because yes, I'm tired of that shit too.

===========================

Scout:

- Wants to drive hot wheels over you

- Would not boast about you as a person. He'd tell everybody else that he's dating someone hot but you're not a name-drop. His ass would not say "Oh yeah? Well I'm dating Kinsleigh!"

- Doesn't understand women. He's accidentally extremely disrespectful on occasion and doesn't understand everything immediately

- He'd take a long fucking time to apologize, too. Constantly denies he's wrong

- it's the 1950s. He expects you to do that kind of stuff, like cooking n whatever, but he's definitely more lax about it

- Would go after hard-to-get girls, not ones that instantly fall for him.

- Constantly tries to upshow other dudes and gets insecure and jealous often due to both his own self esteem and being the runt of the mercs.

- Finishes fast and isn't keen on aftercare. This sentence means exactly what you think.

Soldier:

- Goes after assertive and strong women (not even headcanon; y'all all know Zhanna).

- Would prioritize America over you, and at the very MOST would put you and the country at equal importance.

- Likes his own space when he sleeps, no he would not cuddle or anything unless you incited it

- Same thing in bed. NEVER makes the first move. He's aight though. Good enough pace ig.

- Public displays of affection are is endgame. He expects and wishes you to be just as hyped about the borderline voyeurism too. (Don't look that up. Iykyk)

- Instant lovedove. No slow burn with this fella. Sorry!

- His stuff is disorganized and he prefers if you DON'T touch it

- appreciates if you cook but no cleaning

- very very very loud and expects you to tolerate it. If you can, great for you I think

Pyro:

- idek where to begin with this guy.

- No he would not take off his mask for you after like a week of dating are you out of your mind.

- Probably wouldn't EVER take off the mask for you. Being real here.

- If you try to take anything off of him he immediately goes guns ablaze, no remorse no shits given.

- wtf do I even say about sex???? I do not see him ever taking off that flame suit, yet I will say I do counter the usual fandom belief that he's childlike and consider him in his widely headcanoned age of being 40/50. I think he's had his fair share of sexual thoughts and fantasies.

- Love language is words of affirmation. He'll mumble shit to you constantly and expect you to positively react. For you to please him I think it's best to go with gift giving.

- Absolutely mammoths level rich but doesn't use the money and doesn't give a fuck what you do with it, either.

- Wants you to be as hype about fire as he is. He would not date someone afraid of it. Sorry :3

- Extremely loud somehow. Shows you everything he likes.

Demoman:

- If his mom doesn't approve of you he'll be wary

- Expects you to respect and uphold to her standards

- If you don't like alcohol or cleaning other people's messes he isn't for you.

- Extremely intelligent and will often tell you stuff in the rare, RARE moments he's sober. If you like smart people that's an option maybe idk

- Horndog and I absolutely mean it. Bro put a sticky note on his dick. Mediocre pace but somewhat has aftercare

- snores so fucking loud you die

- Talks to eyelander and expects you to say hello, too

- Tells you stories often and you guys visit Ms. DeGroot from time to time

Heavy:

- This man can TREAT. YOU. RIGHT.

- His sisters keep him in check for you and love your company, but would also split your neck open with a spoon if you hurt Misha.

- His mom loves you if you treat family as your priority

- Would rather you know Russian, or he'd give the best lessons he could. He wants to be able to fluently speak to you like that so he comes across more clear

- no I cannot stress enough how sweet this guy would be.

- Still likes Sasha more :3

- Cleaning is meh but he hopes you're a good cook. Food is big in his family and I'm positive that's their psuedo-love-language.

- You get fur stuff a lot.

- His sisters and mom tell you embarrassing stories a lot about him

- He'd definitely at some point realllyyyy late in your relationship (perhaps waiting until marriage, even) would sit you down and talk about his dad. Extremely sensitive topic, and if you ask before or after that convo he says "For another time."

- I think he's mid at sex and real sensitive about it. Doesn't like to talk much about such stuff, more of a "if it happens" thing.

Engineer:

- lord

- Treats you right if you do the same

- still likes a lil attitude ifyk

- absolute GENTLEMAN when he needs or wants to be

- doesn't talk to you about the mercs n shit, but will definitely yap about his machines

- huge factor in if he likes you is a test on how you treat/react to Pyro

- uses southern innuendos often and will explain them if you're confused

- family is big for him, too, and he often talks to you about having a son who could take the Connagher(??) last name

- pretty good in bed but loud. Very loud. And says corny stuff. One of the best when it comes to aftercare though

- works hard, and often overworks until he's exhausted and needs to be told to stop

- doesn't like being told to stop but will never raise his voice at a lady

- likes reading and wants you to read with him too so y'all have a tiny book club

- very sentimental

- better be a good cook. Cleaning is also appreciated but eh

Medic:

- I cannot explain to y'all how BADLY this man is mischaracterized in EVERYTHING.

- Massive dork. He is not a smooth talker, he is not a sultry and mysterious man. He yaps often, and it lasts long.

- No inside voice most of the time

- His doves over you ANY day.

- I mean this sincerely and as someone who is an avid Medic-lover; he would be a terrible partner.

- Work is prioritized over you, but he's not the type to stay up super duper late unless it's extremely important. He at one point (supposedly) had a degree, I think he'd know how to take care of himself

- blind as a bat without those tiny ass glasses

- no fr why are they so small?

- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP MAKING HIM UNBEARABLY HORNY. IT DRIVES ME MAD. IT DRIVES ME INSANE. I WANT TO RIP OUT MY HAIR. MY LONG, LUSCIOUS, LIGHT BROWN HAIR.

- he is NOT constantly horny. He is NOT good in bed. He is fifty, he is aging, he is tired, the most you'll get out of this fucker is missionary or riding. That's IT. STOP. STOP MAKING HIM A VIAGRA-INDUCED SEX DEMON. STOP IT. PLEASE.

- HE DOESN'T EVEN MAKE MUCH NOISE EITHER AND HIS AFTERCARE IS PASSING OUT ON TOP OF YOU. THAT'S IT. THATS. IT.

- NOT A POWER BOTTOM, NOT A SADISTIC TOP, HE'S LITERALLY JUST THERE. HE'LL TRY BUT ITS NOT ANYTHING CLOSE TO YOUR SICKENING MINDS.

- ok

- doesn't care if you know German or not and whenever you ask for the definition of words he's saying he'll just brush it off

- often shushes you.

- don't touch his stuff

- heavily appreciates you doing laundry, helping with work, getting food, and straightening up, but again doesn't like you touching his stuff without permission

- during operations you are OUT of the ward. No questions asked.

- travelholic.

Sniper:

- you're getting nothing from this man

- I am so sorry but it's true

- lone guy.

- for the sake of this let's say by some gold given chance he wants you or whatever;

- better like piss being around

- contrary to popular belief, I think he'd be a talker. Voice lines, comics, etc show he's quiet when he's sniping n such or whatnot, but he still talks a fair amount and throws a lot of slang around whether you know it or not.

- don't bother him while he's working at all.

- where the hell did the belief come from that he'd like fuck you in an outpost or whatever have y'all given your brain to Satan he'd never fucking do that

- insomniac

- not a cuddler. Sleeps fetal.

- in fact I don't think he'd be a guy for sex at all. Sure maybe he'd get in the mood or whatever but it'd be kinda gross I don't think he's a frequent showerer or anything like that

- two pairs of clothes don't touch them

- cooking is mid he likes doing his own stuff

- van smells. It's uncomfortable.

Spy:

- not named something stupid

- firmly believe you would also have absolutely no shot with him whatsoever but for the sake of whatever sure let's imagine you're scouts mom or something

- doesn't take of that goddamned balaclava like ever

- maybe to sleep or to shower but that's all you're getting

- sentimental, love language is gift giving but he likes being told words of affirmation

- speaks with sprinkled French and metaphors all the time and that's bound to get annoying real fast

- not keen on telling you personal details or stories but will somewhat eagerly listen to yours

- he goes for insane chicks. Definitely.

- better like nicotine and cigar smoke

- doesn't listen if you tell him the health costs (again, 1950s)

- loves receiving your cooking and cleaning is very very appreciated

- very much likes spending time with you but also with that border of professionalism vs personal life

- I can't believe I have to say this but he would abandon you in an instant if you were pregnant or whatever. This is a squared situation.

- mediocre in bed definitely doesn't like to admit he's not in control but let's be real he'd rather someone else do the heavy work

- not anything to do with what I just said but his legs are so skinny it's hilarious he's built like a preschool project

==================

SIGH.

This was somewhat mid to write because I'm an extreme asexual and dislike sex but its gotten so bad I can't read any fanfic anymore without immediately wanting to twist my nose into my skull.

Love y'all! And again this is my personal opinions n shit. Do whatever the hell you want.

[xxiamtiebrousxx]

Same Old Costume (Mercs x Reader) Halloween Special

A/n: Happy Halloween!

It was late at night or early in the morning. Leaves outside crashed through our cruddy windows. It was late October and the whole world knew it. We were all passed out on the couches, full of early Halloween candy. It was Scout’s and Pyro’s suggestion to go out a whole day early and get candy. Miss Pauling got the week off and joined us. The Teufort residents were not happy we stole all their candies. We didn’t leave any cabinets bare. I was the first to wake up, groaning. My stomach cramped up. Bad idea to go Trick or Treating a whole day early. I was careful not to disturb anyone as I got up and tiptoed to the restroom. It was nice to take a warm shower when no one was banging on the door, begging to be let in. I dressed in clean clothes. Out of the eleven of us, I was the only one who didn’t wear a costume. Did I think it was stupid? Yes, yes it was. We were full grown adults, except for Scout. Pyro did not count. He was free to do as he pleased. But for the others, it was embarrassing to see them dress up.

Everyone was awake now, preparing breakfast in their costumes and setting the table. This year, Scout went as an warrior orc from Gargoyles and Gravel. Soldier wanted to go as Ares, the “Roman” god of war. We argued Ares was from Greek myth but Soldier won that battle. Pyro went as a dragon, with colorful wings and a handmade tail. He could glow in the dark. Engineer went as a simple robot, using some props from Soldier’s last costume. Heavy was some bread monster mutation hybrid. Demoman went as a ghost pirate. Medic went as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He claimed to have no potion that could turn him into a monster but that was a big fat lie. Sniper was a…. Werewolf? Hunter? A hunter cursed to be a werewolf? The other way around? I don’t know what he was, but he was one of those two. Spy went as a vampire, Sniper’s enemy if he was indeed going as a werewolf. Don’t know what that was about. Pauling went as the Horseless Headless Horsemann since Archimedes tore up her costume from last year. And I went as plain old (Class name).

“Morning Y/n,” Engineer said as I joined the gang. I scratched my grumbling stomach. We were up super early, only four in the morning.

“Morning,” I replied, taking a seat. Pyro was drawing with a half melted crayon. He lifted up his drawing, mumbling happily. He gently pulled on my sleeve. I took a look. It was all eleven of us, dressed in our costumes. I wore something that looked similar to a magician’s costume. I scoffed. “Nice,” I said. As if I would wear that. The cape and coattails were a little too much. The bow was glittery red and the gloves looked like they wouldn’t fit. Soldier came out of the bathroom, groaning and stretching his arms out.

“I would not go in there for another hour,” he declared. Everyone in the room groaned. 

“Shut the door, SHUT THE DOOR!” Scout screamed. Heavy closed the door gently. Scout sighed. “Thanks big guy.” Engineer and Medic worked in the kitchen and finished up cooking breakfast.

“Mmmh?” Pyro asked. “Mmph mmph mmh mmh?” Scout took a bite out of his omelet.

“He’s asking if we’re gonna Trick or Treat tonight,” he said. “Are we?”

“Definitely,” Demo replied with a smile. “And we’re all going, right?” I laughed. Everyone looked at me shocked.

“I’m not!” I replied. “You guys look ridiculous in those costumes!” I was cracking up so hard. Alas, I could not spend the night watching horror movies by myself, chasing kids off who dared to toilet paper our house. I was stuffed into a costume designed by Pyro and dragged house to house. Like the drawing, I went as a magician. Everyone else wore their costumes from last night. “Stupid Heavy and his stupid strong arms, dragging me out here,” I mumbled under my breath. Pyro had all the candy now. Demoman and Soldier were off scaring poor little kids. We even had a tiny kid dressed up as Saxton Hale come up to us and ask if he could join. Medic said no and pushed the small kid back to his parents.

“It’s so lively at night,” Pauling said, looking around. “You guys are lucky to do this every Halloween. I can’t even get a day off.”

“Yeah, very lucky,” I mumbled. I would kill to be working right now. Send me on a mission, I beg of you! I looked around. There was a festival happening around us. I was going to ignore that and sneak off into the castle in the distance. It was on the mountain range, surrounded by dark clouds and green lighting. Maybe Merasmus was doing a Slasher movie marathon up there. He’d let me join one way or another. I was about to leave when a hand grabbed my shoulder.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Spy asked. I groaned, turning around to face him.

“I am not a baby,” I replied. “I wanna go into that castle and have a heart attack, watching movies! I don’t wanna be here scavenging for candy! I can go to the store and buy a whole bag for cheap!” He sighed.

“I agree with you,” he replied. “I don’t like dressing up but it’s fun. The only thing I wish I could change are these glow in the dark fangs I’m wearing.” I chuckled. “I won’t be the one to tell you what to do.” I raised my eyebrow.

“Does that mean you’re letting me go?” I asked. He nodded. I smiled, giving him a hug. “Thanks Spy,” I replied. “If they ask where I went, tell them I went to check out the apple bobbing.” 

*>/<*

I knocked on the giant doors before me. Thunder crashed and lightning illuminated my surroundings. The castle groaned and rumbled. I knocked again. “Merasmus! Are you in there?” I called out. I kicked the door. Still no response. “Come on out!” I yelled. 

“LEAVE ME BE MORTAL!” he yelled, appearing in the window on the highest floor. “I AM BUSY TONIGHT FOR IT IS ALL HALLOW’S EVE!!!” Lighting crashed. I looked up to him, unamused.

“Yeah, yeah, just let me in,” I said, waving my hand around. “I haven’t got all night.” He stuttered.

“Did you not hear me?” he asked. “I seemed loud enough.” I sighed, shaking my head. It seemed I wasn’t obvious about what I wanted. “Just go away mortal before I place a terrible curse upon you!” 

“I’m not leaving!” I shouted back. I sat on the ground, crossing my legs and arms. The moon was high in the sky now. I was getting sleepy, but I couldn’t close my eyes. I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. A menacing man stood behind me. I screamed, scampering backwards.

“Cupcake! It’s me!” Soldier replied. He walked into the light. I sighed, placing my hand over my chest.

“Solly, you scared me!” I exclaimed. He chuckled.

“Isn’t that what Halloween’s about? Tricks and treats?” He grinned. I rolled my eyes. He sighed, sitting next to me. “C’mon Cupcake, can you tell me what’s wrong? Why don’t you like Halloween.” 

“No,” I replied. “That’s private information only me, the announcer, and Pauling know.”

“Pauling knows, eh?” he said. He stood up. “Hey Miss Pauling! Do you know why Y/n hates Halloween?!?” he yelled. She and the others emerged from the bushes. I sighed. Of course they followed me up.

“Spy, did you tell them?” I asked, crossing my arms. He crossed his heart.

“Non, they found out,” he said. Pyro ran up to me, giving me a hug. 

“Did ya really think you could escape Halloween?” Scout asked.

“I tried to give it a go,” I blankly answered. “Instead I get followed by friends I thought I could trust to let me have my reasons, but no.” Demo patted my back.

“Ah, cheer up lad!” he said. “We’re at the last house anyway!” Heavy knocked on the castle doors. 

“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!!!” Merasmus shrieked from the top of his lungs. He flew down, palms filled with magic. Scout gave out his girly shriek and jumped into Pauling’s arms. “FOOL! NOW YOU SHALL FACE MY WRATH!!!” He crashed before us, waving his arms around, mumbling an incantation. The wind picked up. We were pulled into a storm. “You have ‘til the stroke of the thirteenth hour before you are doomed to roam the world as you are! Unless!”

“Unless what?!?!” Soldier yelled over the magic storm. Something electrical ran through my body. I screamed out in pain as it reached my heart.

“Y/N!” Everyone cried out in pain as well.

“UNLESS THEY WHO FEAR THIS EVE CONFESS, YOU ALL SHALL BE DOOMED!” And I blacked out.

*>/<*

I groaned, opening my eyes. My head throbbed. Where was I? I rubbed my head and got up. I was standing in the middle of a cold room, moldy and built with cobblestone brick. I exhaled. My breath created a small fog. There was an evil chuckle that filled the room. “Greetings, you foolish mortal,” Merasmus said. I curled my fists up.

“Where are you?” I asked. “Come out so I can face you and beat you into a pulp!” His cackles echoed through the area.

“Defeat my minions and uncover the truth!” he yelled. “Save your friends before the clock strikes the thirteenth hour or they’ll be doomed, even you!” I scoffed, crossing my arms. 

“There is nothing you can do to scare me,” I replied. Merasmus chuckled.

“Then let’s see how you do.” A spell book appeared before me. I grabbed it. “Good luck, you’re going to need it.” I scoffed and started walking. The costume was tight on me. The bow tie was strangling my neck. Pyro was a loveable buddy and I couldn’t say no to him, but this costume was the worst! I pulled and pulled. The clothing wouldn’t come off. The coattails gave me a good smack on the face. Was this costume alive? Nah. I gave up the fight and continued to walk. I came across a candy bar similar to the ones on the battlefield that would appear as health packets. I bent down to pick it up. I unwrapped it and took a bite. I noticed glasses in the corner.

SWOOSH

Something swung over my head. What was that? I stood up again and I turned around. A smaller version of the Horseless Headless Headmann started swinging his ax again. I bent down again, barely getting hit. So this was the challenge! I jumped back as Headmann striked again. I reached for my weapon, but my back pocket was empty. I cursed under my breath as the ax hit me backwards. I crashed into the wall. C’mon Y/n, think! I looked around. There were no axes on the wall, no sword just lying around. It was just me and the Headmann. He was preparing to swing one more time and I held my hands up in defense.

SWOO-

I opened my eyes. He was struggling to move and every time he swung his ax, something held him back. I looked behind him. Glowing f/c ropes bound the Horseless Headless Headmann. Was I doing this? I moved my open hand to the right and the Headmann, against his will, moved. He levitated in the air, struggling, as I moved my hand up. I laughed. “You can’t do anything!” I exclaimed, pointing. I danced around him and continued to taunt him. I  laughed, flicking my wrist. The Headmann crashed right into the wall. “Oops.” I jogged towards him, removing the rubble. The pumpkin head man's eyes rolled. He was dizzy alright. Wait? Eyes? He didn’t have eyes before! These eyes became visible. They were green, just like Pauling’s. He kept nodding at the glasses on the floor. I grabbed them and placed them on his face.

“Thanks Y/n, I needed those,” he said in Pauling’s voice. I screamed and fell backwards. The binds around him untied. I yelled incoherent words. Pauling Horsemann held her hands up. “Calm down Y/n! It’s me!” she said. 

“WHY ARE YOU A PUMPKIN!” I screamed. “WHERE’S YOUR REAL HEAD!?” She covered my mouth with her gloved hand. 

“Shh! I can explain,” she replied. My whimpers were muffled. “Will you keep quiet?” I nodded. She removed her hand. “You know the spell Merasmus put on us? Well, it fused us with our costumes and put us under Merasmus’ command.”

“That’s all?” I asked. “Seriously, you’re your costume? That’s dumb.” I stood up, dusting myself. “So, how’d you break out of Meramus’ control?”

“I don’t know,” she replied. “All I know is that I’m the first boss.” I gulped. There were more, weren’t there. There was a loud roar that echoed through the castle. The walls trembled and dust fell from the ceiling. There were thuds, like something was walking. Something giant. A red/blue dragon appeared from the corner. It spread out its wings and gave a roar, shooting rainbow fire. I pushed Pauling out of the way and took the hit. I held my hands out front to try and protect me. It worked. My hands created a glowing f/c shield. The dragon stopped breathing its fire out. It made a purring noise.

“Heh,” I nervously mumbled. Maybe it wasn’t that bad. But then the dragon came charging at me with its horns ready to pierce me. I cursed and jumped a significant distance away. Pauling came charging at the dragon but it swept her to the side with its tail. “Hey! Do you know who this is?!” I asked, dodging fireballs.

“Pyro I think!” Pauling replied. He turned to face her, giving her a roar. I ran up to her and shielded us with the glowing shields from before as he shot his flames at us. What was this?!? Magic? “Have you used magic before?” she asked.

“What?!?” I exclaimed, looking back at her. The shield began to crack.

“It seems that’s what Merasmus cursed you with,” she said. “That may be the key to saving Pyro!” I looked at the dragon. If I did have magic, I could break Pyro out of his curse and Merasmus’ control. I gave out a roar and pushed out more magic. It became a beam and countered Pyro’s fire. It shot back and hit him. There was a loud explosion, followed by smoke. I coughed, clearing the air. Pyro was still a dragon, but he was… tiny? He squealed and ran up my arm, rubbing up against my cheek. 

“Aw,” I said, rubbing his little back. He was so cute! He burped out a little flame, burning my cheek a bit. I sighed.

“Shall we move on?” Pauling asked. “We have to save the others.” I nodded and followed her lead. We went down several corridors and up several stairs. I walked on walls the opposite way, Pyro flew through looped tunnels, and Pauling kept coming back to the same place. This was useless, we weren’t getting anywhere. “I think we should split up,” she said, approaching me.

“Agreed,” I said. “Give out a shout if you find anyone.” We went our separate ways. I kept Pyro with me and entered a dark room. He started to glow and chitter. I patted his back. “No worries bud, I’ll fix you.” I kept thinking back to what Merasmus had said earlier. Unless they who fear this eve confess, you all shall be doomed, what did that mean? Was he referring to me? Pfft, I didn’t fear Halloween. I just hated it. I mean, I was scared very badly one year when I was younger and refused to go out after that. My parents forced me every Halloween and every year I got scared more and more. I had a panic attack once. So when I moved out, I neve celebrated Halloween until I joined TF Industries. We celebrated every Halloween and I went along, complaining. But deep down I feared it. I was an adult and I still feared it. Pyro looked at me as if he was reading my mind. I scoffed. “I don’t fear it,” I replied. Pyro shook his little head. I continued to walk. Pyro started to fall asleep and his light went out. I groaned. Maybe I could try out magic and manifest a light? I grunted, trying to summon something. I clapped my hands together. Nothing. I gasped. I still had the book Merasmus gave me. I opened it up. It was dark, but I made out some words. “Uh, imputum fulmenus?” A ball of lightning shot out of my hand.

“Careful where you aim that,” a voice said. It sent shivers down my spine. I felt someone staring at me. I turned around. 

“I have a lighting ball and I’m not afraid to use it!” I exclaimed. “Imputum fulmenus!” This time I kept the ball in my hand and it illuminated the room. Spy emerged from the shadows, hands stuffed in his pockets. I sighed, letting my hands down. “It’s you,” I replied. 

“Who else would it be?” he asked. 

“Oh I dunno, Merasmus?” I answered. Pyro woke up, stretching out his legs. He took one good look at Spy and started growling at him. “What’s wrong buddy?” I asked. Spy chuckled. He smiled to reveal fangs. My heart dropped. Of course! I smacked my forehead. He went as a vampire and one he became. He lunged at me, fangs bared. I nearly dodged his bite. I opened the book and frantically searched for a spell to help. I found a jumping one. “Amplus tripudio!” I shouted. I flew into the air. Spy chuckled, lighting a cigarette. “What’s so funny?” I asked. 

“Behind you,” he replied. Something heavy pushed me down. It was snarling and drooling. It’s beady red eyes burned into mine. Pyro started biting the wolf’s tail and shooting small fire at him. 

“Get off!” I yelled. I kicked the wolf off into the wall. It whimpered, but stood up. I gasped. The wolf was the size of a man, panting and ready to strike. I stood up. “SNIPER?!?” I exclaimed, recognizing his torn vest. “YOU WENT AS A WEREWOLF?!?” He growled. Spy stood next to him.

“The wizard promised us a great prize if we killed you,” he said. “Enemies usually don’t team up, but this time is different.” Pyro flew up, squeaking madly. Spy groaned and waved his hand, harshly smacking Pyro into the wall. I growled, getting into a defensive stance. I clapped my hands together, filling them with electricity. I felt my eyes start to glow. My hair and coattails lifted up. Spy laughed. “Do you think that’s going to scare us?”

“I’m the scariest thing you’ll ever encounter,” I said. “So start running before I cause some serious damage.” Spy pulled out his knife. The two started to approach me. I chuckled and took my first step. It was all in slow motion. They never saw me coming. Sniper tried to swipe me with his claws, but I moved so fast he missed. I roared, jumping up and striking them both with a bolt of lightning. They watched in awe as I summoned a sword out of pure magic.  I swung it upon their heads. Sniper caught the blade. We struggled to do anything. I was in midair. Spy pulled me down forcefully. Sniper held my hands and feet down. 

“Hold still and this won’t hurt,” he said. I struggled to move. His fangs neared closer to my neck. The wolf whined. “Just wait your turn,” Spy snapped. I groaned, reaching for the book. Little pyro was awake, shaking his head. He limped over towards the book and flipped the page. He lifted it up a bit. I read the spell.

“D-deus invictus,” I whispered. Spy’s fangs were about to dig into my neck when a giant red/blue boxing glove appeared. The vampire and werewolf looked at it. It punched them both away. I rushed to my feet and picked up Pyro. I ran as fast as I could, colliding into Pauling. We both were panting.

“Where were you?!?” she exclaimed.

“Getting chased by Sniper and Spy!” I replied. “What about you?” She turned around. A Roman/Greek soldier came in, riding in a chariot pulled by pegasi. He dragged a chained orc behind him.

“I was dealing with that,” she answered.

“Greetings!” he said. “I am the great Ares, god of war!” 

“SOLDIER?!?” I yelled. He gave a hearty chuckle.

“My dear Y/n, I am not that soldier you knew!” he said. “My old roommate has changed me! I’m better than before!” My eyes twitched. The orc behind him laughed.

“Alright buddy, you think you’re that bad?” he asked. “I’ve slaughtered countless villages!” Soldier pulled on the chain.

“Hush you monster!” he said.

“Scout?” I asked.

“Who?” he replied. “Oh hey, what’s up?” Pyro squeaked. He melted the chains off Scout with his fire. He stood up.

“Why did you do that?!?” Soldier yelled. His eyes started glowing red. He growled. “You leave me with no choice!” he exclaimed. “Orc! I will fight you till death! And you,” he pointed to me, “you will perish as well!”

“Sorry to interrupt but that’s our job.” An arm wrapped around my neck. I started choking. Pauling was held back by Scout. Spy held his knife at Soldier. “The wizard ordered us to take care of Y/n first,” he said. Scout scoffed.

“So what? I bet I can do a better job than you,” he replied. I rolled my eyes.

“Silence!” Soldier commanded. He rubbed his chin. “Orc? Can you wait for our battle? I’d like to join these men in the perishing of Y/n. You can deal with the pumpkin and lizard.”

“Sounds like a fair deal,” Spy said. He pushed me into the middle of the room. The monsters surrounded me, cracking their knuckles. Pauling was cornered into the back by Scout. Soldier threw a punch at me. I wasn’t quick enough to dodge. I stood back up. I gave Soldier several punches in the gut but he was unaffected. He flicked my forehead and knocked me down. Sniper held me down again and Spy dug his fangs in this time. I screamed in a rage of frustration, not pain. My magic froze everyone.

“I’M NOT DEALING WITH THIS!” I yelled, My voice echoed through the room. Gold vines wrapped around their bodies. “I’M ENDING THIS RIGHT HERE!” The vines squeezed everyone as I levitated.

“Y/n! Let go!” Pauling yelled. She grasped at the vines around her neck. “Let go, please!” I screamed again, letting them go. They all grasped at their necks. I landed back down on the ground. A headache shot through my head.

“I don’t feel so good,” I mumbled. I felt dizzy and collapsed. Soldier caught me.

“Hey cupcake? You okay?” he asked. He seemed to be his normal self again. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled. I closed my eyes and passed out in Soldier’s arm.

*>/<*

I groaned, opening my eyes. There were swords clashing and the sounds of fists. I was lying on a wooden floor. I rubbed my head. We were on a boat. How’d we get here? Soldier and Spy were dueling with a large ghost pirate. Pauling and Scout fought with their fists against other ghosts. Pyro was biting everyone’s ankles. Sniper was human again and sitting in the corner, eating something while dressed in pirate’s clothing. Demoman was the captain. He stood at the helm. We sailed over a sea of souls, screaming to be let out. I looked over the edge and nearly puked. Demo smiled and walked down the stairs. 

“Ah! You’re awake!” he exclaimed. He inhaled the sulfur air, patting my back. I gagged. It was too much for me. “Take it in, lad.” I leaned over the edge and let it all out.

“Sorry,” I said, wiping my mouth. “I get seasick easily.” Demo nodded. 

“It’s the last thing you’re going to see before Merasmus takes care of you,” he said. I pulled away from his ghostly grip.

“Woah, you’re not taking me to that crackhead wizard,” I said. Demoman removed his eyepatch. His eye socket was glowing green.

“Aye lad, I was hoping you would make this easy,” he said. The ghosts the others were fighting disappeared. He pulled out Eyelander. “Sorry about this.” Demo swung his sword at me. I protected myself with my shields. The force sent me backwards. Scout charged with his club, but it went right through Demo. He laughed. “You can’t touch a ghost, didn’t ya know that?” I touched the tip of Pauling’s ax, filling it with magic. Sure enough, with one swing, Demoman went flying into the cabin door. He grunted and shook his head. He smirked. “It’s gonna take more than that,” he said. 

“One moment please,” I replied. I pulled the group into a huddle. “Okay, so it’s obvious Demo isn’t going down with a fight. We need a plan.”

“Seems your magic can hurt him,” Scout replied. “Maybe you can give us some magic like you did with Pauling.”

“Hurry up!” Demo shouted. Soldier cracked his knuckles.

“I have the power of Ares, let me handle him,” he said. I held him back.

“No, this is my battle,” I said. “I can handle it.” I approached Demo. I grabbed a sword from the ground and held it tight. Demo chuckled.

“Aye, let us begin!” he exclaimed, lifting Eyelander high up. I inhaled and closed my eyes. Concentrate, don’t lose focus. I opened my eyes.

“Run away!” I yelled. I tackled everyone out of the boat. I summoned a rope infused with magic, which wrapped around Demo’s foot. It didn’t go through him and pulled him down with us. The sea of souls screeched as we made a splash. We went past the water. Demo was struggling to be freed. He started slashing Eyelander around. Soldier and Scout knocked him over the head. “HOLD ON!” We all crashed past the barrier. Scout held on to us as we skidded into a wall. I groaned. That was a fun ride. Demoman was out cold, snoring softly. “Hey Soldier, can you carry him?” I asked. Soldier lifted his buddy up and carried him over his shoulder. Spy took the lead and we all followed.

“Hey Y/n, is there a way to return us to normal?” Scout asked. 

“Uh…” I stopped in my tracks. “Maybe?”  Everyone stopped walking.

“You don’t sound so confident, mate,” Sniper said. He crossed his arms. “Remember what Merasmus said? Oi think he was referring to you.” I whined.

“Don’t make me do this Snipes,” I said. “I don’t wanna say anything because it isn’t tr-.” Something wrapped around my leg and pulled me down, dragging me. I started screaming, reaching out for someone to grab onto. Spy grabbed my hand, but whatever grabbed me wasn’t letting go. Demoman woke up. He roared and came charging at me. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!” 

SLASH!

There was an unhuman roar. Heavy, one third bread, one third monster, and one third human, emerged from  the shadow. His tumorous limb was gushing out green liquid. He was growling and panting, drooling. We all pulled out our weapons. Sniper turned back into a wolf, baring his teeth. 

“Wait.” A robot slowly moved in front of Heavy. He was so slow, so creaky and unoiled. It wore overalls like Engineer. It even wore his helmet. The robot grabbed the severed limb and gave it back to Heavy. “Howdy y’all,” the robot said, turning to face us. “Ah wanna do this the easy way,” he said to Heavy, “so let’s not use violence, okay?” The monster nodded.

“Engy?” I asked. The robot chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he replied. “And just so you ain’t wondering, Ah am not under Merasmus’ control.” We sighed.

“How?” Soldier asked. “Did you break free?” Engy knocked on his head.

“Can’t control metal,” he replied. Heavy growled quietly.

“Must. Attack. Y/n,” he said. “Too. Much. Too. Much.” What did he mean by “too much”? I knelt down and reached out for Heavy. He recoiled back.

“Sh, I’m not going to hurt you,” I whispered.

“Uh, Ah wouldn’t do that if Ah was you,” Engy said. Spy shushed him. Heavy sniffed my hand like a cat.

“Would you mind telling me what you mean by “too much”?” I asked. His glowing green eyes dimmed down. The tumors on his flesh deflated.

“The Wizard said he made fatal mistake,” he replied in his normal voice. “He needs you dead or-.” The house shook. Cracks were made in the walls, debris and dust crumbled down. I looked up. 

“EVERYONE GET DOWN!” I yelled. I created a magic barrier over us. Heavy was holding everyone together. I struggled to keep the bricks from breaking through. I was too weak. Pyro squeaked. He inhaled and grew bigger and bigger. He was his normal dragon size. He roared, deafening our ears. He exhaled, breaking the barrier and blowing the debris away. Soldier, Heavy, and Scout grabbed us and started running for the exit. “Amplus tripudio!” I yelled. The spell propelled us into safety. We were all weak at this point.

“Is everyone alright?” Demoman asked. 

“Barbo kabalto,” I mumbled. I healed everyone with one spell. I knew that one from Halloween events in the past. Pauling held out her hand and lifted me up. “What time is it?” Spy checked his watch. His eyes widened.

“We only have two hours,” he replied. It was 11 in the night. We were running out of time! I started panting. We just had to find Medic and get out of here! But I had to break the spell on us or else we’d be like this forever.

“Y/n, you good?” Scout asked. My heart was racing and my eyes were glowing. “Uh, take some deep breaths,” he said. I did as he said. My heart stopped pounding. My eyes returned to normal.

“Okay, we need a plan, guys,” Pauling said. “We have Scout, Pyro, Soldier, Demoman, Engineer, Heavy, Sniper, Spy, Y/n and I. We’re just missing Medic. After that, we break the spell and go home.” We all nodded. “Y/n? Do you think you can cast a spell to find Medic in this labyrinth?”

“I can try,” I answered. I closed my eyes and held my hands up. C’mon Medic, where are you? I visualized Medic. His figure became visible, but something was wrong. He was bigger than usual. More monstrous. He turned around as if he could see me. I gasped, opening my eyes. He did see me! And he was standing right in front of me. He was foaming at the mouth. His clothes were ripped. “Jekyll and Hyde,” I mumbled. He roared and slammed his fists into the ground. We were all pushed back. Scout grabbed his weapon, but Soldier pushed him to the side. He cracked his knuckles.

“Watch and learn,” he said. He chuckled, jumping up into the air and coming down at Medic with a powerful punch. There was a loud boom, but Medic was unaffected. He was holding Soldier by the fist. The god of war gulped. Medic sent him flying into Scout. Pyro shot flames at Medic. Medic laughed. He wasn’t burned or anything. Pyro whimpered and shrunk back down. Pauling was sweating.

“What do we do?” she asked. Medic looked at me with a sinister grin. 

“I can weaken him,” Spy replied. “Sniper can distract him while I come around. I’ll bite him and drain him good. That’ll allow you, Pauling, and Demo to attack.” Demo gripped his sword.

“Let’s do this, lads,” he said. Sniper gave a howl, attracting Medic’s attention. It was like watching two wrestlers fight as their fists met. Spy was preparing to attack from behind, but Medic grabbed Sniper and swept the floor with him. Demoman charged with Eyelander. He managed to cut Medic just a little. Pauling was the next to attack, but her ax didn’t do anything. Medic grabbed both their heads and bashed them in, knocking Pauling and Demo out. I growled. Medic chuckled.

“Do jou really think jou could lay a finger on me?” he asked. “That wizard has made me untouchable.” He cackled. I looked to Engineer, who was helping the others stand up. Heavy could get everyone out in time. Sniper was swift. Demoman was a ghost. He would be unaffected by my next move. I clapped my hands together, combing all my spells together.

“Merasmus!” I cried out. “If you’re there, prepare to face my wrath.” I opened my arms wide. The magic combined and created a giant bubble.

There was silence. I felt myself levitate. There was a bright light. I closed my eyes.

“WAIT! Y/N DON’T!”

The bubble went off and everything caved in.

*>/<*

There was this loud ringing in my ears. I groaned. This dark abyss… was it the afterlife? No. I could hear someone calling my name. Something dug into my skin. Something cold and sharp. I opened my eyes. I was chained to a dungeon wall, my friends on both sides of me. Pauling was awake, spitting on Demo. It wasn’t working, but he groaned awake. Merasmus was in the center of the room, brewing a potion. He turned around.

“Ah, you’re awake, you fools,” he said, clapping his hands together. “You made it in time! It’s nearly the thirteenth hour!” I looked around.

“Let us go!” I exclaimed. The chains jangled. The wizard tsked me. 

“Not until you admit it,” he replied. “Otherwise, I have to take your powers, which will kill you, and your friends will be cursed forever!” He cackled wildly. I growled. Everyone stirred awake. The cauldron Merasmus was working at bursted a geyser of hot, green water. He laughed with joy and a touch of evil. He took some of the water and drank it. I gagged. His eyes and mouth filled with a green mist. “Now Y/n L/n! Prepare to meet your doom!” He made a sucking noise, approaching me. I struggled. I felt myself being drained away. The team made protests to make Merasmus stop. I yelled out of pain.

“Alright! I’ll admit it, I’ll admit it! Just stop!” I screamed. Merasmus stopped sucking.

“I’m listening,” he said. I felt something scaly crawl up my hand. The chains got warm. I sighed, bowing my head in defeat.

“I…..I fear Halloween,” I said. “It started when I was a kid. Some stupid teenagers decided to prank me and the kids on my block. It was so intense, so frightening that I didn’t want to go out anymore, but against my will, I was taken out, year after year. I’m still scared now. That’s why I rain on your parade every year.”

“Is that how you really feel?” Engineer asked.

“You’re scared?” Demo asked. I nodded. They all chuckled. Merasmus looked at them confused.

“Why didn’t you say so?” Sniper asked. Slowly, everyone reverted to their normal forms.

“Yeah, we all have our fears,” Scout said. 

“Even I get scared of Halloween, cupcake,” Soldier said. “Just ask Merasmus!” Pauling smiled sweetly.

“Y/n, it’s okay to be scared,” she said. “You’re fine. We all have something to fear.” I smiled. Pyro squeaked and dropped down from my chains. He turned back into his happy, firebug self. I landed on my feet, massaging my wrists. I flicked my hand and everyone was freed. Merasmus pulled away.

“HOW?!?” he exclaimed. “HOW CAN YOU HAVE MAGIC! YOU ADMITTED THE TRUTH AND RETURNED TO NORMAL! HOW?!?!” I chuckled. My friends joined me, readying to get some revenge. I flicked both my hands and everyone turned back into their costumes.

“Trick or treat,” I replied, with a grin. Merasmus screamed as we all attacked, using spells, weapons, and our strengths. I laughed out loud. “HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!” I happily proclaimed.

*>/<*

We all emerged from the castle doors, yawning and stretching our arms out. We were exhausted. We found Merasmus’ candy stash and pigged out on it. I returned my powers to the Bombinomicon, who said they were too dangerous. I agreed. Merasmus was trying out an all powerful spell to enhance his powers. When he cursed us, the spell attached itself to me. That’s why Merasmus was targeting me, to get his spell back. But I was done with magic for the night. Soldier pulled us into a tight line, arms over shoulders.

“Let’s never do that again!” he exclaimed. 

“YEAH!” we all replied. We all chuckled, walking down the hill. We returned home and crashed on the couch. Pauling snuggled next to Scout, who drooled on Spy. Sniper let his leg dangle over Heavy, who curled next to a sleeping Pyro. Medic was passed out next to Demo, who was propped up. Soldier was slumped up against Engineer. I was in the middle of our sleeping pile, looking up to the ceiling. I felt my eyes change to my magic color. I felt the power coursing through me again. 

Halloween was over and so was our adventure. I smirked. It didn’t mean the fun had to end just yet. After all, we were wearing the same old costumes. Why not give the adventure another chance?

[textingtroublesanswers]

*Tala takes a sip of her drink*

You know what I was thinking about, Dell, that we'll probably have to bring gasoline with us to the future. I don't think we'll have any readily available. It's used in some large machines in factories and plants but most stuff just is solar or wind powered.

*She takes another sip*

Also what's the plans for dinner? Know who's supposed to be cooking tonight?

-🦖

(Drops some useful information like it's not absolutely vital to them being able to get back, then asks about dinner)

You hear a smack of metal against plastic, & when Dell pops his head up to look at you, half of his face is covered in an oily handprint.

"Well, good thing the camper should have some extra storage. We might need to leave behind some food, but a gallon of gasoline should do it. Hopefully only a gallon will be enough. And Pyro's cooking today, so get ready for something spicy."

[lemonflowercat]

75 soft: day 5

full moon in the sky ○

[x] morning walk/run or yoga x6/w

full body stretch yoga for period day 2.

[x] meditate x at least 15min every afternoon

[x] study 42h/w: 30h 40m 29h 55m to go

i'm not going to meet my goal, clearly. but having this on my list pushed me to get a bit - even the tiniest bit - done everyday! i'm glad i revamped my goals, i feel like they're more in line with my priorities now.

[] evening wxo x6/w

<period break> also today was a cooking day and all the kitchen hustling had me pretty beat.

[] [] [] 1 raw veggie or a fruit x3 meals

didn't do this today, but i did eat a LOT of veggies. in my breakfast poha, and in this bengali pulao i made

i was craving this so bad, i especially love the nuts and raisins that go in this pulao. didn't have the energy to cook a chicken curry so i had it with some curds which is a disgrace, honestly. this pulao + chicken curry is a quintessential bengali meal. this combo and egg curry have been period cravings of this month, who knows why.

[x] 1400cal x6/week

[x] progress picture/day x6/w

[x] 2.5L of water/day

[x] brush before bed

[x] no media consumption (one movie/d allowed) - for freezes and PMS days

started with Dinner in America yesterday and can I just say that if i was still teengirl-me I'd have crushed on pyro punk Simon HARD.

but i'm not a teengirl-me anymore (thankfully).

yeeeah, midway in, it's giving kinda run of the mill coming-of-age romance vibes - sure, it's cute, buuut not my thing - BUT i gotta finish what i started - so that's what i'll be doing tonight.

[dizzydeadeye]

can we keep it can we keep the lizard

[okiesoapie]

fireside chats

diluc x adventurer!reader

notes: gn! reader, budding relationship, mutual pining, wounded reader, softie Diluc i am feral for this man, fluff, sfw

The land around Dawn Winery was even more beautiful at night. The Windwheel Asters blew gently in the breeze, petals turning in the wind ever so slightly. You didn’t have time to appreciate the beauty of the environment however. The gash on your thigh felt deeper than it did earlier, making the trek to the estate almost unbearable.

And you were late too.

You and Diluc had made plans to have dinner at his home. It had all started when you teased him about being the worst cook after he had accidentally charred a steak while using his pyro. Diluc, being the competitive man that he is, insisted that he definitely was not and you should try his cooking some time.

The two of you blushed after Diluc said that. A fiery red dusted his cheeks and spread down his neck. You thought he would take his words back immediately. However, Diluc’s unfaltering (and embarrassed) gaze told you that he was serious.

Knocking on the large double doors to mansion (was it made of fir wood? cedar? birch?), you hoped to every archon that ever existed that “showing up wounded on their doorstep” wasn’t on the list of the Top 10 Ways to Ruin a First Date.

Not that you thought this was a date. Did you? Yes, you had been harboring a crush on the redhead ever since he came back to Mond. Yes, you had fallen in love with him as you spent more time together after you found out he was going after the Abyss Order.

Still, Diluc was a busy man. Nothing could or should come between him and his duties. Not even you and your silly, little crush that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard you tried.

Your thoughts were interrupted when the door swung open to reveal a disgruntled Diluc, who was clearly unimpressed by your tardiness. Before he could voice his unhappiness, his eyes widened at the state you were in. Your clothes were tattered, your hair slightly singed, and your body wounded.

You smiled weakly. “Sorry I’m late…?”

Diluc immediately picked you up in a bridal carry, rushed but as gentle as ever. He kicked the door closed behind him while you were still processing what he just did. Diluc’s arms were bare, unrestricted by his coat, and you could feel them press against your back while he cradled you.

“Just hold on to me.” Diluc mumbled, worried that if he spoke any louder, his panic would sleep through the cracks of his calm facade.

When you felt the soft couch cushions under you, a blush started creeping across your face. You hadn’t even realize Diluc had left until he returned with a first aid kit. His expression was soft as he knelt before you, gaze unfaltering once more. It felt like he was taking in every part of you. Like he was consuming you whole with just a look. The fireplace helped you hide your embarrassment, casting an orange glow on your features and hiding the redness of your cheeks.

“Stop squirming.” Diluc muttered, voice somehow gentle as he grazed the area around your wound. Pain shot up your leg and you grabbed his shoulders for support. “How did this even happen?”

“Took a commission to retrieve a stolen cart. Turns out a group of treasure hoarders are much less cooperative than I thought they’d be.” You said before whimpering in discomfort. “One of their knives got me, but I’m fine everywhere else.”

Your grip on his shoulders made your fingertips turn white, but Diluc didn’t complain at all. The silence at the moment wasn’t the usual comfortable atmosphere that you both shared. It was tense. Awkward.

“I’m so sorry for being late, Luc, I really am. I tried to come here as fast as I could.” Despite the stinging ache from Diluc wrapping up your wound, you still uttered apologies and explanations. “I was so excited for tonight, I didn’t mean to be so late. I know how busy you are.”

After a few beats, Diluc spoke.

“Stupid.”

You stumbled over your words. The grip you had on his shoulders faltered as you stared at him in shock. There was no trace of anger or even contempt in his expression. His lips were slack and his face was cold, but his eyes held something you couldn’t quite place.

“You’re stupid for thinking that I would rather see you hurt than wait for you.” Diluc said, leaning closer to look at you again.

“I hate seeing you hurt.”

“Why?”

“You know why.” Diluc came even closer, the firelight behind him enhancing his silhouette. Like a spotlight, it called all your attention to the man in front of you. Your eyes drifted to his fiery red hair, the slope of his nose, the curve of his brow, then finally resting your gaze on his lips.

Diluc was always one step ahead of you. He pressed his lips against yours, ever so gently. You kissed him back, feeling his warmth and the depth of his unspoken feelings. Diluc cupped your cheeks as if you were fragile, pouring every feeling he had never said out loud against your Cupid’s bow. He kissed you over and over and over, so you kissed him back just as many times.

The fire was beginning to flicker, and the food on the table grew cold, but none of that mattered to either of you. Since Diluc, being the fiery and soft-hearted man that he is, was enough to keep the both of you warm.

————

a/n: I’ll probably do MAJOR edits later. I have a few papers to finish but I prioritized this first lol.

[riddlesrose]

hands around my (his) waist

pairings; diluc, thoma, gorou

we’re hand in hand, chest to chest, and now we’re face to face, I WANNA TAKE YOU AWAY, LETS ESCAPE INTO THE MUSIC, DJ, LET IT PLAYYY

diluc

when he felt you snake your arms around his waist from behind his place at the bar, he sighed.

“couldn’t wait until i got home?” he asked.

“no…” truth is, he’s been working all week, even on a saturday night, which you found a tad too much, but seeing as it is his business, you can sometimes understand. tonight is an exception, clearly. 

the poor man could barely move, let alone serve drinks to the patrons seated on the bar stools in front of him. 

when you made no effort to release him from your hold, let alone take you face off his back, he decided it was time to let charles take over and go home for the night. 

once he’d finished up inside he met you by the back door of the tavern.

this time, it was him with a hand around your waist as you walked back to dawn winery together, admiring the beautiful night sky; the moon and stars.

thoma 

his day usually consisted of awakening at a very early hour, probably six or so, to clean in and around the kamisato estate. he would make ayaka and ayato their normal breakfasts and would make sure they were ready for the day. 

but when today consisted of you not letting him clean or cook, he wondered why. he set down the broom he was haphazardly pushing around, since you wouldn’t let go of your hold against him, and he sighed.

 “is there something bothering you?” his kind eyes made you feel peaceful, but not at ease. 

being stubborn, you waited a bit before replying, “no, no, nevermind, i’ll see you after you’re done here.” thoma could see through your fake smile with an easy eye. 

he didn’t want to bother you so he let you walk out. 

later that day, after he had finished his daily work, he made his way to the only place he could figure you’d be; the komore teahouse. 

and lo and behold, there you were, leaning against your palm chatting away to tarumaru. 

the small teahouse mascot let out a happy woof when thoma entered, drawing your attention to him. 

hopping off of your chair, you made your way directly to thoma. he took approximately two steps forward before you crashed right into his chest.

you didn’t know if it was his pyro vision or the fact that he had just worked but he was really warm. you wrapped your arms around his torso, gripping the back of his shirt and he wrapped his across your shoulders, gently stroking the back of your head.

no words were shared as you two stayed put in each others arms, enjoying the comfort you brought each other.

gorou

his days leading the resistance alongside kokomi were over, but he still has an army to train. 

he rarely takes days for himself, so you decided today was the day you’d force him to stay back and let himself feel taken care of. 

you had talked to kokomi the day prior and she loved the idea, she knew how hard gorou worked, even after the vision hunt decree was abolished, she agreed to let everyone, especially gorou, have the following day off. 

which bring you to where you are now, trying to convince the man himself to stay back today. he argued that he’s fine or that he doesn’t need a day off, to which, you disagreed. 

“i already talked to kokomi, she said it was fine, and actually she’s probably taking the day off too.” you both knew that wasn’t the case, but gorou finally complied. 

“okay, you little angry man, to start the day off,” you turned your back to him, “we’re going back to sleep.” you knew he hasn’t been getting good sleep, nor a full nights sleep in a while, so starting off a good day would be with proper rest. 

it took you basically dragging him by his tail to lay back down… he was acting like a cat who touched water, him being the cat and the bed being water. 

he had sat down on the edge of the bed and looked away, you knew he was hiding a small pout on his face so you, as quietly as you could, shifted over so you could grab him by the waist and drag him down with you. the sheets tossed and turned as he tried to pry his way out of your grip, but soon gave up.

he was shocked by the action at first but then more embarrassed than anything as he noticed you made no initiative to remove your hand from around his waist, falling asleep in the minutes you’d been laying there.

he soon too followed suit and curled up next to you, enjoying the warmth he felt all around him, he felt cared for.

mission success! (but really that was only the start to his special day off.)

[sunnywithasideup]

Dialogue Prompts #1

You can use these prompts, I'm honestly fine with it. I will probably use these prompts for my own short stories/One-Shots myself as well. There will be 10 in each genre.

Romance

"I don't know, I guess you are _____"

"I don't like you, probably because I love you,"

"Can you maybe stop nearly dying before every time we meet so I can actually get your number?"

"My brother will kill me, well and you, if we date,"

"Did you really have to set me up with him?"

"I don't know, I just love him,"

"I know.... I know, I question my decisions on the people I crush on too,"

"Oh my gods, Agh! Why is _____ so adorable and hot at the same time??"

"I just, seeing them in a suit just kind of triggered something for me,"

"Yes, okay, maybe I do like you. Maybe, I really love you, but maybe it's because you kissed me on that night!"

Fantasy

"We have a dragon, we have a witch, heck we even have this.... weird hybrid magic-y winged person. You really think we'd lose?"

"I don't use magic for everything you know?"

"Great, why did it have to be a full moon tonight of all nights,"

"Magic cannot solve all problems,"

"In a world full of uncertainty, sometimes all we need is a little _____"

"You can't just turn everyone you hate into animals!"

"I'd like to confess something, I'm a witch,"

"A little curse doesn't hurt,"

"Fire is chaos, air with fire is chaos.... yet somehow you still thought it would be a great idea to cook with a pyro as someone with aerokinesis,"

"How did you manage to destroy all 10 cauldrons in 30 minutes?!"

Action/Adventure

"I don't need a map, I remember all the trails by heart"

"You don't even know where we are, do you?"

"They said to never bring a knife to a gun fight but at least you can recycle the part with blood on your weapon on everytime!"

"You don't take a bullet very well," [...] "WELL NO SHIT SHERLOCK!"

"They say I got this job for the money, it is true, but I also love using bombs"

"You brought a what?!!"

"Car chases are not as fun as I thought they were,"

"They disabled their track!!"

"I was told that I could kill someone for $10, well?"

"I'm not a monster, I just like killing people!"

Murder Mystery

"I swear, I'm innocent!"

"I guess, they just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time,"

"It really is sad isn't it, the irony in how as one life ended... another began,"

"We'll see about it, in court,"

"If you weren't the murderer, then you'll have to get some evidence,"

"Blood, why are there blood on your hands?"

"Maybe, to find the murderer, we think like one!"

"We can't trust people, this could have been done by anyone"

"I-I don't remember anything! I just saw blood-"

"There was a small knife in his stomach, but how could one knife take out a whole man?"

[alonelysimp]

Skirmisher!Tartgalia

Skirmisher!Tartaglia x Skirmisher!GN!reader

WC: 495

Warnings: fighting (not explicit)

Tags: No Archive Warnings Apply, brainrot, No beta we die like hilichurls, unedited, I did this in like half an hour

A/N: this was... just an imagine... then bam!! fic. I am so sorry. I am down bad.

Welcome back to yet another episode of Dango's Brainrot

The only thing on Dango's mind tonight is *drumroll* Skirmisher!Tartaglia !!

Skirmisher Tartaglia in a bracer fit... or probably more accurately an agent but alas, let me live my dreams of bracer childe... he has pyroslinger... vibes...

oh my heart cannot take this.... LISTEN TO THE WAY THEY LAUGH OK-

unabashedly flirting with y/n while they're on patrol in Liyue... recklessly charging into battle with churls... high-ranking elemental beings... his hair and coat still singed from fighting the pyro regisvine, which smells horrible mind you, and still trying to get them to notice him...

He ignores the older skirmishers in the unit when they tell him to knock it off and stop trying to romance their squadronmate. The only reason they haven't requested a unit transfer for him is that he and one of the legionnaires cook the meals for everyone.

"This one's for you, babe!" *proceeds to decimate multiple hilichurl camps*

He's promoted to an Agent after a while, which means more trips outside of Snezhnaya. One of his first assignments is in Mondstadt, and after a few weeks of pulling some strings and cashing in some favours, he gets y/n deployed too. Working? I think you mean taking them on dates around Mond (even tho they're not "technically official" or whatever, they're dates <3) Sneaking them out of the hotel at night to show them around and being sleep deprived as shit when they clock in the next morning.

Everyone in Mondstadt hates them, whether it be for simply being Fatui or because they never get any work done. Division Captain would never let the two of them in the same unit, or in the same city for that matter. Tartaglia doesn't like it because he does more than enough for both of them. The Captain can't say he's more efficient with or without them, it always seems they end up together one way or another.

The one time they do get separated though, it was for an emergency when the deployment announcement was only that morning, giving you barely half an hour to pack and say your farewells to him. He was sent to the capital of Fontaine, and they were to Inazuma City.

Mans was devastated he found out. He writes (unsent) letters daily. The other people in his unit hate him because he stays up talking to them himself. His poor family... most of his letters are about them now...

The moment he sees them get off the ship, he's clinging onto them like a lost puppy. If he can get a few days off that lines up with their schedule, they're coming home with him. (pspsps his family is so happy to finally meet them, even though it feels like they've already known y/n for years with how his letters are)

Is this an excuse to simp for Tartaglia and the bracers at the same time? absolutely

[malleux]

long live. [prologue]

-> xiao x gn!adeptus!reader

-> fluff

-> warnings: cursing

The Archon War was a brutal one. Immortals rose and fall like the waves in the ocean- there one minute, gone the next. Friends, families, and flesh were split apart at the hands of the thundering gods, nothing standing un-damaged in their paths. Everyone lost someone, never to be found again. Just like the case of you and the Vigilant Yaksha.

a/n: apologies that this intro is short. i think it’s a good place to end a prologue, but the next chapter will definitely be longer. enjoy!

table of contents

Liyue Harbor was a lively place, bustling day and night with commerce, tourists, and adventurers seeking a new atmosphere. The Xiao Lanterns left over from the last Lantern Rite hung randomly on strings strewn across the cobblestone streets, illuminating the crowds that have failed to dissipate since the sun’s setting.

You tightened the apron strings around your waist before signing and pushing open the kitchen doors that led to the dining room. 6pm was always a busy hour- people getting off of work and choosing to have a nice dinner with their friends and family. If you weren’t so busy remembering orders and requests, you might feel a bit lonely while watching the crowds. Seeing them laugh and make memories made you wish for a time long forgotten, but only for a second until another customer raises their hand to get your attention.

“Welcome to Feiyun Delights! What can I get for you tonight?”

Your smile was forced, borderline cheesy as the six customers gave you their order. You moved on to the next table, then the next, then the next before returning to the kitchen. You sighed and put your head in your hands, leaning against the wall.

“Rough night, darlin’?” A gruff voice pulled you out of your palms. It was Gunther, the owner of the restaurant and best chef you had ever met. He had moved from Mondstadt to Liyue to follow his dreams of becoming a cook and ended up creating Feiyun Delights, where his reputation skyrocketed. Gunther was your first friend when you began socializing yourself with the citizens of Liyue and has been with you ever since.

“Uh, yeah,” You smiled wearily, “and it’s only just begun.”

Gunther laughed, a hearty chuckle that heaved in his broad chest. “Aren’t you right about that. Pray to the Gods, maybe they’ll let you get off early.”

With that, the burly man walked back to his station in the kitchen, not noticing your slight grimace as he mentioned the Archons that resided in Teyvat. You wished to live the rest of your life without thinking of them- their unnecessary cruelness, their tendency to use violence to solve their petty problems. The problems that caused a war and separated you from-

“Y/N! Order up for table three!”

You nodded, grabbing the plates and finishing your shift

—————

A chill ran through the air and you couldn’t help but be thankful that the hilichurls slept soundly through the night. Not that you couldn’t take care of them, of course, but your feet ached from your shift and your fingers were numb from the brisk breeze, making summoning spells rather difficult.

It was times like these when you wished you had a pyro vision.

But warmth enveloped you as you stepped inside your small house, the outside lights of the Golden House that stood across from you illuminating your front door. You padded around in darkness, lighting up the living room with small lanterns and candles. You bent down to light the wood-fired stove in your kitchen to begin cooking your dinner when a small thud resounded through your home.

You stood up carefully, holding your hand out and summoning a bit of cryo magic in your palm before creeping quietly towards the direction of the noise. A floorboard creaked beneath your foot and you paused. Hushed whispers began coming from your bedroom.

Slowly, you grabbed your doorknob and jerked it open.

“Who goes there!”

“Please don’t kill us!”

A shrill voice sliced through the air and you stopped in your tracks.

“Who the hell are you?”

“Uh- I’m Paimon, and this is Lumine!”

“How did you get into my house?”

“Ahaha, funny story, actually…”

© cynochilde 2021

[textingtroublesanswers]

That's right, Cor! I'm telling you to pull up your big man pants and help with the cooking. You didn't think I'd only be getting on Fritz's case, would you?

*They elbow the BLU Demo with an excited look on their face*

Don'tcha wanna ease some of the load off me and Beets? It's just some barbeque! You'll do the marinating , Fritz can fulfill his role as my meat handler and I can get to work with our dinner tonight.

How about that? C'mon,I'm giving you the easiest job here!

-🐈anon

"I, but, uh, but..." He's at a loss for words.

"Wait, hold on," Mick says, climbing up to his feet, "Are you saying that the only BLU who can cook is your pyro?"

"No! Ken can cook too! Even though he never actually cooks for us..."

[wesimpforxiao]

Inception: Chapter 7

Regardless of your persistence to avoid Childe, you noticed that he intentionally walked along the same paths to 'run' into you just as you intentionally chose different paths to work every day to avoid seeing him.  To be honest, it was a bit stalker-ish.  But one fierce glare from you, and his confidence deflates like a balloon as he gives up on the idea to talk to you.  He was just as stubborn as you though, and would continue this pattern every day despite your continuous rejection.  You still hadn't said a word to him since that day in Mondstat.  

At one point you discovered a new tactic to keep him at a distance; walk around areas of Liyue where Fatui are most prominent.   Childe would almost immediately be called over or consulted over various matters from his underlings, and you were able to lose him for the day.

It was late one night when you finally left the funeral parlor; you didn't need to stay so long, but working on filings diverted your mind from the present occurrences.  Your footsteps were quiet along the dimly lit streets of Liyue as you made your way past Liuli Pavilion. Despite it being the middle of the week, there were several Fatui agents drinking and making a ruckus at the outside seating area--laughing, cursing, and a bunch of slurred gibberish you couldn't quite catch.

That was when your stomach growled and begged for food that it hasn't gotten all day.  By the time you'd get back to your apartment you wouldn't have the energy to cook, so you decided it'd be best to get a meal-to-go from the Pavilion despite the annoying customers blocking the door.  You reluctantly made your way up the steps when one of the drunkards called out you.

"Hey! Waitress! Where's our damn order?"  The man impatiently slammed his pint onto the table out of the corner of your vision.  He had to be the least sober of the group.

"That's not the waitress, dumbass.  She's clearly a customer."

"No," interjected the third.  "That's Master Childe's woman."  Apparently Childe's coworkers had picked up on your relationship with the harbinger much sooner than you figured out his true identity.

You finally reached the door handle and twisted it open, but a hand slammed above your head to keep it shut.  "Childe's girl, huh?"  

"Kliment, you know better than to screw with Childe's shit," the third man warned.  "You continue with this, he's gonna kill you."

"I'm not his girl," you spat, meeting the devilish crazed eyes of the man pinning you against the door.  "Back off, I'm starving."

"Not his girl," Kliment scoffed with a lopsided smirk as he glared down at you.  "You hear that, Charlie?  This is the chick everyone's been talking about. The one that's got him slacking off on our missing agents and that stupid vigilante that's still running around."

"You've got the wrong chick, asshole."  This seemed to agitate Kliment, and he leaned in way too close for comfort.  

"I don't give a damn whether you belong to Childe or not.  Since there's no getting through his thick skull, maybe this will get him to do his job."

"Kliment, what are you saying?"  Charlie, the second agent, shifted uneasily in his seat.  "Leave the girl alone. You're drunk."

"All I'm sayin' is a little rough-up would get Childe to take his responsibilities seriously.  An eye-opener, if you will."  Kliment raised your head to look at him by putting a thumb beneath your chin.  "Though if you have any valuable relics on you, which I doubt, you may sway me from hurting this little face of yours.  I really do just care about money; this matter doesn't interest me."

Your stomach sank when you remembered your empty pockets.  Your vision sat at home in your kitchen drawer tonight, so there was no way you could fight the three of these guys with your pyro energy and you'd lack the fire resistance it provided.  You never relied on it anyway; with your combat skills, you might be able to take them out somehow.  There's silverware on the table...plates, knives, forks, even the empty pints that lay strewn about.  And there'll be witnesses that might jump in to help.  

But most of all, you were angry.  This is how undisciplined Aja--Childe's men are.  You were right all along; there are no 'good' Fatui; that'd be an oxymoron, impossible, senseless.  So when Kliment threatened you with his foul alcoholic breath burning your nostrils, an almost devilish smile stretched across your face.

You leaned in and whispered in a low voice so that he'd be the only one to hear you.  "Valuables?  You mean like that precious Fatui mask of yours?"

The gears turned in his head for a few seconds, then his expression of confusion switched to disbelief, and finally to seething anger.  "You--!  You're the bitch that stole my mask--!"  His hand flew to your throat and squeezed.

"Kliment! What're you doing?!"  Charlie bolted upright before charging to get him off of you.  "You're gonna get us in trouble! Cut it out!"  Before he could reach the two of you, you landed a strike to Kliment's throat that loosened his grip and sent him gagging.  "Klime--"

Your attack apparently prompted the third agent to get up from his seat and he proceeded to launch himself not at you or Kliment, but at Charlie.  The two collided and crashed over another table where a romantic dinner was taking place.  The nameless agent was yelling incoherently about Kliment being right while they threw punches.

I guess those two will take each other out?  Your attention refocused on Kliment, who was now able to inhale a decent amount of air to lunge at you full force into the pavilion door.  Your head slammed into the wood with an unsettling crack, but the adrenaline made it impossible to tell if it was the wood or your skull making that awful noise.  You blocked a punch directed at your jaw.  He drove his knee to your stomach, but you swayed just enough so it slid past your side and into the door.  Your elbow jut into his ribcage, then his kidney, then you pulled his head down hard onto your knee.  He crumpled to the floor.

The shouting of the patrons, waiters, and other staff were quiet compared to the heartbeat drumming in your ears.  They stood and gawked at the damage the entire group was making, but they did not dare to intervene.  You scanned the surroundings for those other two Fatui. The one named Charlie was knocked out cold.  "Where--Ngh!"

A fist held your hair tight at the top of your head and drove you face-first into a table to your left.  "You're definitely Childe's woman if you can hold your own against an agent.  You have my respect for that...But this needs to be done to get his head out of the gutter!"  Another slam against the table, and white clouded your vision.  Somewhere in your peripherals Charlie had snapped out of his daze and scrambled to his feet to leave you and the rest of the pavilion behind.

Looks like that agent learned a lesson from going against the flow of the Fatui and abandoned the idea of helping you.

Your fingernails clawed into the agent's gloved fist to no avail.  You couldn't even kick at him with how he pinned you to the table, but luckily he decided to pull you upright and throw you to the ground.  There's a chance to strike him now.  

Or at least, there was.  Just as you flipped over to kick him away from you, his boot crashed down on your face hard.  The sickening crack of your nose against the force made your vision darken completely.

Childe was just about finished with his work for the day and nodded farewell to the secretary behind the front desk of the Northland Bank.  He barely reached the exit when the double doors burst open and an injured agent began blabbering about something while out of breath.

"...Ha...haah...fight...Agent Kliment...your...girlfriend..."  Charlie managed to wheeze out the most important details first and didn't miss the cold expression that enveloped Childe's face.

"Excuse me?"

"--The Pavilion! Hurry!"  The words barely got past his lips as Childe bolted out the door.  Charlie chased after him despite his lungs begging for air.  He could barely keep his superior in view.

The chaos that greeted the pair sent a chilling thrill down Childe's spine.  A few additional agents had joined the scene and were trying to keep the others at bay while others aided so that a Liyue citizen was the sole target.  Childe had no problem reminding his agents of their place in the food chain and that they were more expendable than the innocent, but the glimpse of your face getting kicked in made something snap inside him.  He was still several feet away from the scene and many witnesses were yelling for the fight to stop.  It wouldn't be long before the Millileth would arrive.

Childe held an unreadable air about him as a single hydro blade manifested in his hand.  He spared none of his strength when he threw it at the man that towered over you.  The man let out a strangled cry as it impaled his shoulder into the wooden door.  "Now now," a cruel empty tone left Childe's lips as he approached with a deadpanned expression.  Everyone stopped throwing their punches when they recognized the voice.  "I don't suppose there's a reasonable explanation behind this, is there?"

"M-Master Childe!"  The Fatui agents bowed over and saluted the harbinger while the bystanders parted for him.  "This is--"

Childe ignored their stutters and made a beeline for the half-conscious girl on the floor.  He knelt and lifted your chin slightly.  Sorry girlie, but there's no way I'm just going to let you walk home from this no matter how much you hate me right now.  Your lips were busted and swollen, your nose red and bloody, not to mention broken...The tears that obscured your vision made it difficult to see him, no doubt.

A cold, chilling anger like Snezhnaya's weather washed over the harbinger while he estimated your condition.  Then he stood up and announced with a voice almost too quiet to hear at first.  "Every agent here is to report to my office immediately."

"But Master Childe, she was--"

"--She started--"

"I tried to stop them from hurting her--"

Childe faced them with a death glare.  "My office.  Now."  Everyone gulped in fear.  "And if any of you decide to run off and hide, I will hunt you down.  Go."  The bystanders were whispering things amongst themselves as they watched the agents sprint for the bank.  Then, the harbinger faced the man that was still writhing against the wall.  "What's your name?"

"Hongqi--GAH!"  Childe violently ripped his blade out as he looked the agent in the eye.  

"Well, Hongqi, you've made quite the first impression on me.  Unfortunately for you," Childe swiped his fingers across the blood that coated the blade, "it was the bad kind."  Hongqi nodded and shuffled to the direction of Northland Bank.  Childe watched him before giving one last glance to the bystanders that were directing the Millelith in this direction from across the street.  

A small wheeze from his feet grabbed Childe's attention and he knelt beside you once more.  "...leave me...alone."

"You know I'm not the kind of man to leave a beaten girl alone on the streets."  The touch of his fingers grazing your cheek made you wince.

It was only when you caught the sight of the authorities drawing closer that you raised your voice.  If he wouldn't leave you, this called for a more drastic approach.  "H...Help!  Help!"  Despite your injuries your arms flailed about in an effort to push Childe away from you.  This earned a confused yet hurt expression from Childe, but you couldn't care less.  Why should you?  

This was his fault.  These men are under his supervision.  He failed you.  Again.

Despite your weak attempt to get away from him, Childe scooped you up in his arms and disappeared from the scene as quickly as he had appeared before the Millelith could catch up.  Somewhere along the way you lost consciousness, and Childe was able to get into your apartment thanks to the keys that were in your jean pocket.  He lay you down on your bed as carefully as possible before finding and wetting a towel to clean your wounds.

"I'm gonna need you to lie still while I do this," he warned before pressing the damp cloth to your bloodied lips.

"...can do this myself.  Get out."

"I never said you weren't capable of handling the aftermath yourself, girlie.  But that doesn't mean I'm going to let you do it yourself."  He brushed the hair out of your face and continued to wipe away at the blood and dirt on your skin.  The ticking of your wall clock was almost aggressive in filling the silent room.

"This is all your fault."

His movements slowed if only for a moment.  Was that really what you thought? Was it really his fault?  His men were always disciplined, or at least they were to the best of his knowledge.  But tonight proved otherwise, and it proved yet again that he's still hurting you.   The missing men, the rowdy behavior of the agents, even the bank heist...something doesn't add up.  They're connected somehow, but where was the connection?  

"Rest assured they will be thoroughly punished."  This earned an eyeroll from you that he pretended not to notice.  "Your nose needs to be reset, but I'm assuming you'd rather do it yourself."

"You're finally catching on."  

"I need to return to my office now.  Don't hesitate to get ahold of me if you need anything."  It was unnecessary to say so since he doubted you'd need him anymore, but he said it just in case.

"Good riddance."  Your gaze followed his movements past the kitchen and to the door.  Childe's hand hovered above the doorknob for a second.  You weren't able to hear whatever he mumbled next and were too stubborn to ask him to repeat himself.  Then, you were met with only the sound of your wall clock ticking the night away.

...........

"Master Childe!"  The secretary to the Northland Bank greeted the harbinger at the door.  "What happened?  A few men came rushing in with injuries--Should I get medical aid?"

"Don't bother with them."  The cool anger was so obvious upon his demeanor that she clammed up and nodded.  "Their injuries are not severe enough to require medical attention.  They're a waste of resources."

"Y-yes, sir.  Is there anything I can get you?"  She closed the doors once he entered.

"A room alone with them would be excellent."  The lady scampered away.  When Master Childe is angry, it's best to leave him to his own devices and keep quiet.  No one wants to be in the way or make him any angrier since he already has a problem with his temper...

"Master Childe," the troublesome Fatui agents bowed their heads and knelt before him.

"I want a full description of what incited your unsightly actions."  Childe scanned their faces one by one until he landed on Charlie.  "You.  Speak."

"Everyone was drunk beyond belief, sir."  He was still bleeding from behind his ear as he spoke and ignored the tickling of the blood that trickled down to his neck.  "Kliment thought that woman was a waitress, but then Hongqi said she was your girlfriend."

"That bitch admitted to being the person that's been inconveniencing us the past few months and stealing our property!"  Kliment jumped to his feet and faced the harbinger directly.  "If she's really your girl, it'd explain why you haven't done anything to catch her!  You're a disgrace to the harbingers, to the Tsaritsa, to--"

BAM.  A fist collided with Kliment's jaw and he stumbled backwards onto his butt.  Blue eyes as pale as ice stared him down.  "I don't remember asking for your input.  Seeing as though you still haven't sobered up, I have reason to doubt whatever comes out of your mouth.  Hongqi," Childe's glare flicked to the agent that knelt to Kliment's left, "why were you beating a defenseless woman when she was already down?"

Hongqi was putting pressure on the arm that had been impaled by Childe's hydro blade.  "I don't care about whether she's involved with those acts of vandalism, but I do share Kliment's view about you.  You've been slacking off, sir.  I thought this would send a clear message--"

"Let me get one thing through your thick skulls," the harbinger interrupted with an edge in his voice.  "That girl and I are not involved with each other.  And I don't condone senseless violence against the innocent."  His gaze was sharp like that of a predator scouting his prey.  The sound of his footsteps pacing across the tile floor filled the silence between sentences.  "Thanks to your carelessness I'll have to clean up the mess you all made.  What do you think the Millelith will do when they hear details of this incident?  What do you think the Qixing will make of it?  We're already scorned as it is."

"No thanks to you and Osial," muttered Kliment.  A pointed look shut him up quick.

"It's become clear to me tonight that the Tsaritsa doesn't need you to complete her mission.  Hongqi, Kliment, you're dismissed.  Don't show your faces to me again."

"W-What?! Sir, we--"

"You're not my harbinger anyway.  I'll just go tell the Fair Lady about your pathetic actions," Kliment growled through a clenched jaw.  

"By all means, go ahead.  Of course if you have this much of an issue with your punishment, you could always take me on in a fight.  Well?  What'll it be, gentlemen?"  Their silence and averted eyes gave him the answer.  "That's too bad.  I've been itching for a proper workout.  Get out of my sight."

"Sir, what shall I do?"  Charlie's voice was hesitant and barely audible after he watched his former comrades vacate the bank in an uproar.  Careful, now.  Wouldn't want to say anything that could anger the man further...

"Relax," Childe briefly flicked his gaze to the agent with a sly smile.  "I have no need to punish you.  In fact, you seem to be the only one here that has their head on straight.  You have my gratitude for bringing the matter to my attention and standing up for that woman."

"Your...gratitude?"

"Of course.  Don't let it get to your head, though.  An inflated ego will only work against you on the battlefield."

......................

"Hey.  Kliment."

"Can you believe that, Hongqi?  He just threw us out like we're the bad guys! I swear to the Tsaritsa I'll show that loser a piece of my min--"

"Yeah about that.  Shall we get away from the prying ears of Liyue?"  Hongqi nodded to an alleyway that was to the left of the stairs that led up to the Northland Bank.

Kliment scoffed and pinched the bridge of his nose.  "What, now you're self-conscious of sharing your opinion on Childe?"  Yet he followed the man's lead anyway until they were both obscured in the shadows.

The silver eyes of Hongqi almost appeared to glow in the dark as he faced Kliment in a serious manner.  "There's a certain group of Fatui that have grown weary against the Tsaritsa.  This group is planning something big, and their goal is to uproot the Fatui's reputation first in Liyue, then they'll move on to Mondstat.  I happen to have a few connections."

"A group of unfaithful Fatui?  What are you talking about?"  But then it clicked.  "Wait, you don't mean..."

"Those who've gone missing in our ranks have simply created a new organization tasked with creating chaos to ruin the Fatui's reputation until it disintegrates into dust."  Hongqi sent a quick glance to the lighted street outside of the alley before returning his attention.  "Seeing as though Childe has disrespected us both, there's a chance we could get back at him for his tyranny.  The leader of the group is quite rich and compensates his members like there's no tomorrow."

"Huh. I didn't know you that well even in the ranks, but I think we could be great friends, Hongqi."

[arkhein-steorra]

@crimsontwins asked “ ☭ “ for I assume Childe (Ei will be the next one)

Send ☭ for a vs. battle quote to your muse || Status: Accepting

Childe to Sera (for funsies with the background context of them being lovers on opposite sides of a war between the Cryo and Pyro Archons)

BATTLE THEME: Dis (bc I suck at finding music) BATTLE INTRO: “Well, well. Can’t say I am happy to see you per say, but the lines are drawn beautiful and there is no turning back.” VICTORY: “I’m sorry, I know you don’t believe me but I still love you and I hope you can forgive me for this one day.”  DEFEAT: “Ha... still as good as ever, beautiful.” ASSIST: “DUCK!” *proceeds to stab enemy with spear* “You alright there?” TAUNT: “COME ON! IS THAT THE BEST YOU GOT!? I WAS EXPECTING MORE FROM A GENERAL!” REACTING TO TAUNT: “Ouch that actually kind of hurt, my feelings, not my body, don’t worry I still got plenty of fight left in me.” FLEE: “I know your going to kick my ass for this later, beautiful, but I got to go. The plan is in motion and I have other place to be.” REACTING TO FLEE: “Oh, is the proud general running away? I’m disappointed in you.” Crack Taunt: “GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE AND BEAT MINE DAMMIT! COWARD!” TIE: “Shoot, don’t think I can go much further, but at least you look don’t look much better.” PERFECT VICTORY: “Is this some sort of trick? Are you just trying to distract me or have you resorted to mocking me now? Either way it isn’t fucking funny.” FINISH MOVE: “Sorry, babe. No hard feelings.”

Childe to Sera (for more funsies just them being themselves and fighting for fun)

BATTLE THEME: Dis (bc I still suck at finding music) BATTLE INTRO: “You and me, beautiful. Loser cooks dinner.” VICTORY: “HAHA, sweet! That was a good time but it appears I win this round.” DEFEAT: “Oh well, I guess I’ll make dinner tonight.” ASSIST: "You alright there? Can’t let some weakling going and think they can push you around like that.” TAUNT: “COME ON I KNOW YOU CAN HIT HARDER THAN THAT!” REACTING TO TAUNT: “Oh hey now, that was just rude even if your trash talking stinks.” FLEE: “Shit! Gotta run, beautiful, feel free to punch me later.” REACTING TO FLEE: “HEY! I WASN’T DONE YET.” TIE: “Okay, well that was productive wanna go to bed and make up? I’ll pick up take out.” PERFECT VICTORY: “Hey now, no going easy on me allowed.” FINISH MOVE: “Haha, looks like you’ve had enough sweetheart, want me to carry you home like a princess?”