#ranpo & gn!reader

[rashoumon-homo]

BSD Men - Would they be good at giving head?

BSD x Gender Neutral Reader, NSFW

Includes: Dazai, Kunikida, Ranpo, Chuuya, Sigma, Nikolai, Atsushi, Fyodor, and Akutagawa

Author’s Note: Just a quick lil headcanons post to fill the void of content while I work on Bottom Dazai Week! A little low-effort compared to what I usually post, hope that’s alright :)

NSFW CONTENT AHEAD - READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

(Ranked roughly from best to worst)

Dazai

Holy FUCK bro, YES.

He’s good at it and he knows it

He moans into it like he’s the one getting off

He’ll have you coming on his tongue in less than 2 minutes

And he swallows too- gladly! He insists you taste amazing

Knows his anatomy too - all the spots to lick and suck to get your toes curling

Kunikida

Way more skilled than expected

This man literally sat down and studied before even his first attempt

Knows your anatomy better than a doctor atp

You had to remind him to relax at first because even though he was doing everything right, he was as mechanical as a robot

As he got more comfortable with it, you both had more fun

Prefers other types of sex but will gladly give you head if you ask

Ranpo

Absolutely - if he feels like it

You know how he is, picky with taste and texture of things he puts in his mouth and whatnot

But if he’s into it, he’s hella skilled

Definitely won’t swallow, but he’ll give you head for longggg periods of time, making you cum over and over

He’s just having fun with the tactile experience and with seeing you come undone under his touch. Boosts his ego a little lol

Chuuya

Oh yeah for sure

He gives head to tease though, not to get you to finish

Always looking up at you from under his lashes because he knows it gets you flustered

For some reason gives better head when he’s drunk

But he usually stops before you can cum because for him, oral is ideally just foreplay

Points docked for that :(

Sigma

Yes and no

He’s more inexperienced, so the first few times are a little clumsy

But he’s determined to learn how to please you

With practice and guidance from you, he’ll come to be really good at it! You just have to get through the awkward phase first

Nikolai

Duh

Y’all already know he’s a freak

He’s got plenty of skill and enthusiasm but he gets bored quickly

If it’s taking too long to get you to cum, he will flat out give up

He’s always coming up with new ways to do it as well (don’t ask what that means) so hopefully you’re willing to put up with his weird-ass, occasionally morally concerning ideas

Atsushi

Not perfect initially but eager to learn

Inexperienced and over enthusiastic (too much teeth 😬)

Wants so badly to please you

Probably needs some guidance at first

Fyodor

Good luck convincing him…

He sees giving head as a sign of submission so he’ll likely flat out refuse for a very very long time

If you can sway him, he’s about average in skill

Not much experience, since he hates doing it, but he picks up the skill quickly

Surprisingly gentle and cautious with his mouth (whether for your sake or his is unclear)

Do not cum in his mouth. He will pointedly spit it out because he’s grossed out and will likely sulk about it after

Akutagawa

This guy does not enjoy giving head and it shows

He’ll do it on rare occasions but his discomfort is palpable and kind of makes it not fun

If you finish in his mouth, he’s spitting that shit out. No offense to you personally, he just finds the idea of swallowing gross in general

Stick to other types of sex I beg of you

Tag List: @suru1990 @little-miss-chaoss

If you want to join the tag list, send me a dm!

Back to Masterlist

[gettinshiggywithit]

!The BSD Cast With A Reader Who Has A Stalker!

Scenario:- what the bsd characters would do if their s/o had a stalker

Characters included:- dazai,chuuya,kunikida,atsushi,yosano,ranpo,akutagawa (romantic pairings) kenji,kyouka and the tanizakis(platonic pairings)

Genre:-fluff/comfort?

Tw:- mentions of bein stalked and well,a stalker,Teeny bit of cussing

W/C:-2.4k

A/N:-yes this is inspired by my real life no i will not elaborate~

↪️Osamu Dazai

If you tell dazai that you have a stalker,he’d probably joke about it at first.

But when you tell him how serious it had gotten and how stressed and scared it makes you,

He takes it way more seriously.

He obviously has a plan,our little manipulator.

And soon enough he’s threatened the stalker with an entire stack of private and compromising information.

They stop after that.and youre finally at peace.

When you thank dazai he first brushes it off as it havin been nothing at all,but ends it with a serious statement of how no one messes with the people he cares about.

As we know,the worst decision dazai’s enemies could make is making themselves his enemies.

And That stalker realized that the hard way.

↪️Chuuya Nakahara

Chuuya,unlike dazai is a little less calculated.

He has absolutely no issue with using force to make his point clear when he’s pissed(or not.) and you having to live in a constant state of fear because of this asshole is WAY more than enough to piss him off.

He finds the bastard(being a port mafia exec. Really did have its fair share of perks) and pays them a visit himself~

He comes home later that day looking rather pleased with himself and when you ask what he did,

He just says that he took care of it.

You know chuuya like the back of your hand,so you also know that he definitely has no problem with defending what matters to him,no matter what the cost.

So to protect your subconscious,you don’t question him further.

But he sees that youre a little uneasy so,he clarifies that the person isn’t dead.

Theyre just… permanently out of commission and chuuya’s slight look of annoyance tells you that he really didn’t kill the stalker.

You run into his arms and thank him and he hugs you back while pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

You unwind with wine and dinner and enjoy your first carefree night in quite a while.

↪️Doppo Kunikida

Kunikida is outraged!

How dare these delinquents disrupt your daily life schedule like this!

He MUST do something about it.

Kunikida obviously doesn’t want it to turn into anything too confrontational(not because he wouldn’t fight for you,but because the clean up would require more energy and time than this bastard deserves)

So he calls up katai and has him dig up anything about this stalker of yours.

Soon kunikida has more than enough information to come up with the perfect plan of action.

Blackmail really isn’t his style so he goes for a little something different.

He calls up the stalker and while the bitch is scared shitless,he drops little bits of the info he’s gathered in conversation.(okay yh I lied.blackmail it is.we stan petty kunikida in this house~)

At this point he’s having a conversation with himself so he knows the stalker is definitely shaking with fear.

So he ends the call with a final statement,

“I suggest you leave y/n alone  if you know whats good for you.you wouldn’t want to ruin your entire life now would you?not that you haven’t already by sinking to the level you are already at, of course.”

And he’s met with a shakey “yes,sir…” before the line goes silent permanently.

He let you know you can stop living in fear and you two go over your next days routine.(mans had only allocated a certain amount of time to solve that entire thing okay :’))

↪️Atsushi Nakajima

Atsushi is a gentle soul,bless him,really.

But he was worried af when you told him about your stalker.

He’s determined to keep his s/o safe!

He asks ranpo for help,and is turned away(‘not botheredddd’ ßRanpo’s reply)

So he goes to dazai next.

Dazai obviously suggests blackmail.

Atsushi doesn’t wanna pull a dazai on this one.

So he just calls the number(dazai has it tapped and is using ranpo{he was bribed with candy} to track it) you’d blocked and when he gets a rude response tauting him;daring him to ‘actually do something about it’ he loses it!

Who does this asshole think he is?!

Atsushi fires back saying that he really will and when the stalker cuts the line laughing and repeating that atsushi wouldn’t do shit, he really is ready to go deal some damage.

He walks out into the main area of the ADA to see dazai sitting at his desk with a shit eating grin oh his face,a piece of paper with an address scrawled across it between his middle and pointer fingers.

“here you gooo atsuuushiiiii~~~” he says

Atsushi thanks him and takes off to take care of it.

He comes back in about 2 hours and when you ask him what he did,he simply says that he taught the asshat a lesson on respect!

You get a letter the next day from your stalker and to your surprise,it’s an apology letter which specifies that they’ll never bother you again.

You thank atsushi with a little peck to the lips and hes a complete blushing mess.

We love this fluffy puddy tat(that’s tweety for pussy cat {wan atsushi in the background :- IM A TIGER!})

↪️Ranpo Edogawa

Absolutely obliterates the stalker.

He was bored anyway and you bein in distress was definitely enough to get him to try something.

He too calls up the stalker,but instead of airing out current or recent dirty laundry , he goes straight for their most sensitive and embarrassing childhood and adolescent memories.

How he knows all of this baffles you

But such is the wonder that is ranpo edogawa.

And finally he ends his call with.

“oh and say hi to all the people I put in jail! You’ll be goin there in 3….2….1” and sure enough the police were at the stalker’s door.and they were taken away.

Your praise and thanks have ranpo beaming because as we know,he lives for the applause :”)

Serves em right for not knowing who they were messing with tbh.

↪️Ryunosuke Akutagawa

Akutagawa is peeved to say the least.

Why were such vermin even allowed to live on the same earth as him??

he definitely takes care of it.

Swiftly and elegantly might I add~

Rashoumon leaves the stalker permanently disabled once aku pays them a little visit.

What a waste of space.

He totally roasts the stalker on how useless and pathetic they are.

And finally leaves them with a last threat for initiative “leave y/n alone,or else ill come back and finish what I started.i cannot guarantee that you will survive.but it will certainly be painful.am I making myself clear?”

He’s met with a very petrified piece of shit and he finally kicks said piece of shit away from himself before leaving  swaggering away with his hands in his pockets and a bored look in his eyes.

When he arrives back at your apartment he tells you that you’ll be fine. And if they dare inconvenience you again,to let him know.

You really are grateful for your Mafioso boyfriend

↪️Akiko Yosano

Yosano is pissed

But also delighted!

She’s not delighted cos you have a stalker btw!

Shes delighted cos now she can use her ability on someone….or not ;3

Whatever it is,she gets to play mad scientist with someone she has absolutely no remorse for

Comes back home covered in blood and reassures you that she took care of it,with a shit eating(and slightly concerning ) grin on her face.

You know akiko wouldn’t have killed the stalker…but um youre not totally sure.

When you ask her she sadly says that theyre alive,but when she turns to walk away she whispers a muffles “barely” under her breath.

Either way,shes satisfied with herself~

Very slay of her tbh ;3

↪️Michizou Tachihara

Goes after em.

Buddy grabs his pistols and goes to take care of business himself!

He doesnt care abt protocol in that moment,but he also knows that mori wont give a shit cos its a personal matter

So he’s technically in the clear.

Once at the stalkers door,he knocks twice to get their attention and when her hears the sound of a hand landing on the handle,he shoots and gets em right in the hand!

And in the process of doing so,hes shot through the lock,so he kicks the door open{effortlessly} and confronts the stalker who recognises him immediately (i mean obvs)

Tachihara is a part of the port mafias elite kill squad so he’s no stranger to a messy job,but for the sake of your subconscious, he keeps it comparatively clean,shooting through the stalker’s limbs and beating the shit outta them too!

He cleans up into new clothes at gin and ryunosuke’s before comin back home to you(he knows that if you see him all bloodied up the questions will start)

And let me clarify that mans did this without your knowledge so while you’re watchin a movie that night,you do not know what he did but you find out the next day and immediately know it was him

His thank you was a little kiss on the lips that somehow managed to convey your total appreciation for him in only 3 seconds~

↪️Higuchi Ichiyou

With the way she is when it comes to akutagawa,we know that higuchi would be protective of the ones she loves

So when her s/o is bein terrorised by a stalker,you bet your ass shes gonna take action

Step one: identify the stalker

She covertly follows you around and when she sees the person you’d described to her,she begins to tail them.

When they get home she calmly and quietly walks upto their door and knocks

She then winds back her arm and waits until-

BAM the stalker is met with a face full of fist!

She then takes advantage of their confused state and tackles them to the ground

She bends one arm behind their back and when they try harder to resist,a sickening crunch and a howl of pain is let out

And now that she has their attention,she makes her threat: “leave y/n alone or else you’ll have to deal with the entirety of the port mafia next!”

Ofc this threat doesnt mean anything~

like I mentioned earlier,mori doesn’t give a shit about personal matters so theres no way anyone (else) from the pm would be knocking on ur stalkers door.

But they didnt know that~

So they beg and promise not to bother you anymore.they promise to leave you alone forever.

Higuchi knows that they’re being honest,the fear in their voice is a dead giveaway

So she gets up but then shoots two bullets On either side of the stalkers face,barely missing.

“I hope ive made myself clear” are the last words she mutters before disappearing into the night

And just like that,you were never bothered again.

↪️Yukichi Fukuzawa

President fukuzawa isnt really confrontational unless he has to be

So when you tell him that you have a stalker terrorising you,

He knows what to do

He asks ranpo to deduce the location of said stalker and withink seconds,he does

Then,fukuzawa writes a letter.

A very threatening letter

Your stalker knows all about him

Ofc they would he’s your significant other !

So when they see the letter addressed to them from fukuzawa,they are immediately intrigued

And after reading the letter,theyre fuckin FILLED with fear

They know how powerful and skilled the president of the GODDAM armed detective agency is

So they immediately decide to leave you alone

Death by katana wasnt something they wanted to experience.

So when you tell him how the stalker wasn’t bothering you anymore and how you knew he had to have done something about it,he just replied with

“All i did,

Was write a letter.”

↪️Kenji and kyouka(platonic.i aint writin romantic stuff for them yall.)

↪️Kyouka Izumi

Demon snow to the rescue.

One visit from kyouka’s ability and you’re sure to be okay for the remainder of your life.

The threat of being cut up by a katana wielding demon really does deter people from being creeps~

↪️Kenji Miyazawa

Finds them by using his many connections around town and beats em shitless.

They cant even tell which way’s up when he’s done with em.

Remember, his family motto is "If a cow defies you, strike it with something handy."

Suffice to say you were NEVER bothered by that stalker ,or any other stalker, after that!

↪️Tanizaki Naomi and Tanizaki Junichirou

You were best friends with naomi and thereby junichirou,and while their relationship weired out a lot of new people at the agency,you’d really never cared much abt it

So when you told them abt your stalker issue they were both worried.

This wasnt good for you or your mental health

So junichirou took it upon himself to take care of the situation

Naomi had you distracted the entire day with a whole day out of shopping and just FUN

Meanwhile junichirou had found the stalkers address and confronted them himself

As we all know,a pissed off junichirou is a SCARY junichirou

So you can bet the stalker tried to run

But as usual,

LIGHT SNOW TO THE RESCUEE

After the stalker thinks they’ve gotten away he appears behind them,with a gun pointed straight at their temple.

He threatens to pull the trigger (he wouldn’t)

And when the stalkers begs him not to,promising to leave you alone.

He scoffs and fires a bullet that just manages to graze their cheek.

He then lets the illusion break away as he disappears himself

After that,youre happy and you feel so FREE

You’re back to your old self again and the tanizakis fist bump to their success!

please dont repost my work here as your own on any platform all rights belong to me except that of the characters used,their right belong to their respective owners.but these stories? mine.

feedback,likes,reblogs and comments are so very appreciated tbh :’)i hope you enjoyed and ill catch ya next time!

Comments & Reblogs w/ tags >>>>>>>>>>>likes please

Taglist open for anyone interested!

[herwritingartcowboy]

Sorry for the bother!

But could I request Fukuzawa Yukichi, Ranpo Edogawa, and Yosano Akiko with what their like with aftercare?

If it’s already been done then don’t bother responding, thank you! <333

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Character(s): Fukuzawa Yukichi, Ranpo Edogawa, Yosano Akiko,

Warning(s): Mentions of Sex,

Readers Gender: Gn

Fukuzawa Yukichi-

He is a gentleman during and especially after sex

Right after this man is already getting a nice warm bath ready for the both of you as already had changed the sheets

He doesn't want you to move a muscle as he wants you to relax

When you guys are in the bathtub he is peppering your face with kisses as even outside of sex he is still praising you

All in all he wants to take care of you in aftercare just to still remind you that he loves you even outside of sex

Ranpo Edogawa-

Once sex is over he is wrapped around your body as to not let you go and still wanting to be with you

After a few more minutes of cuddling and sweet whispers he let you

He is mostly in the bed still as you went to start everything as getting some snacks for him and even starting a bath

Once everything is cleaned up you go back to Ranpo as you two sit there holding each other while feeding each other treats

Ranpo isn't lazy but after sex his body is worn out and if you ask he will help you clean up but he mostly just wants to hold you and eat all sorts of sweets with you

Yosano Akiko-

Once sex is over you two lay there as she praises you and asking if you are okay and if you needed anything

She is still attached to your hip while you guys are cleaning up

She gets some comfy clothes for you both to change into

And she is just a sweet lady during aftercare

Once back in bed she lets you hold her as she also has pepper kisses in your face while complimenting you

She is just there helping you out or letting you help her out as even after sex you two are still together

[banzaitaka]

Is it you, or your lover?

An arrangement of questions focusing on your relationship, asking which one of you has the particular habit.

Characters: Atsushi Nakajima, Doppo Kunikida, Jun‘ichiro Tanizaki, Osamu Dazai, Ranpo Edogawa, Yukichi Fukuzawa

No pronouns, gendered terms or description of body used for reader.

Bungou Stray Dogs_Masterlist

Atsushi Nakajima

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Atsushi is not used to physical affection, and is hesitant to initiate it. When ARE you supposed to initiate? How do you know the other person is fine with it? It‘s a mystery to him. You bet he will get flustered when you snuggle up to him, soon melting into your touch. He loves it, so please don‘t stop.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. After living on the street for weeks, he really appreciates everything he has. From the roof over his head, to the clean socks on his feet. So naturally he takes good care of them, which includes making the bed every morning.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. Even if you‘re an early riser or need to be somewhere early in the morning, Atsushi tends to be awake before you. You often wake up to the smell of food, and the sight of your boyfriend in an apron, wishing you a good morning with a tired, yet sweet, smile.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Atsushi doesn‘t typically listen to music much, but when he does he picks some random songs he discovered through the radio. It‘s a mix of the newest hits and the oldest songs known to man, simply because those are the only ones he knows.

Who is more protective? -> You are. Atsushi is more confused or concerned than protective, unless it‘s obvious danger. In the heat of battle, he makes sure there is not a scratch on you. Otherwise, he is very chill. It is you who steps up more and sends a glare to people, or objects for that matter, that might harm or inconvenience him.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. His showers are as quiet as can be. It‘s his time to wash away the tension in his muscles that had built up over the day. His showers take up to 10 minutes at most, too. Atsushi loves listening to your little shower concerts, though. Every sign of you enjoying yourself is a reason for him to smile.

Who cries more during movies? -> He does. Atsushi gets emotionally invested in characters quickly. Wether it‘s sad, happy, or scary, he feels with the characters. Especially to those mistreated by others, or those who remind him of the people close to him.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> You do. Money is very valuable in this economy. Thus, Atsushi doesn‘t spend much on things that aren‘t the essentials. He spends the least money on clothes, and the most money on food. When he accompanies you when you go shopping, he might tear up at the bill. It‘s you paying, but it still hurts to see. So long as you budget well, he is not concerned in the end.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. He‘s never been in a relationship before and had yet to experience his first kiss before you two got together. You lead the kisses, and he is happy to follow, mirroring your movements to the best of his ability, careful not to hurt you.

»»----------►

Doppo Kunikida

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Doppo isn‘t big on physical affection. While he appreciates recieving it, he himself prefers showing his love through acts of service. He tends to leave a few minutes of room in his schedule, in case you feel like cuddling.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. Doppo is a very organized and clean man. Making the bed is a part of his daily routine, and he will NOT skip it. He does expect you to help though. You slept in that bed too, so it is only right for you to take care of your side.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. He is an early-riser through and through. By the time you wake up, he most likely already got himself ready. You better get up early if you want to see his hair loose and disheveled. Doppo would gladly wake you up when he does if you ask him to, so long as you don‘t tell him the real reason.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Weird based on modern standards, that is. Despite being only 22 years old, Doppo appreciates the old classics. Some of which you don‘t even recognize. Sometimes you catch him listen to unidentifiable sounds…The amount of times Osamu has tricked him into listening to “this amazing, economy critical song“ is hilarious. Doppo doesn‘t seem to learn.

Who is more protective? -> He is. Doppo keeps an eye on you whenever he can. Keeping you safe is one of his jobs as your lover. And that counts twice with the kinds of people he has to keep up with on a daily basis. Everyday he does his best to protect you from their influence.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. As much as it saddens me to say this, but he doesn‘t sing. Much less in the shower. He only does the stuff he got into the shower for, gets out and is done with it. You can sing if you want, but don‘t let it distract you.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. It takes a lot for him to cry over fiction, it would have to hit very close to heart for him to tear up. He‘s not one to judge others for crying at a movie, though.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> You do. Doppo is an experienced coupon-guy. He always makes sure he finds the stuff he needs at the lowest price without the quality being effected. And he also only buys the items on his list, nothing else. There is a strict budget he set, and he will not go over it even slightly.

Who kisses more roughly? -> He does. Sometimes Doppo doesn‘t even notice it when you two kiss. The feeling of your lips numbs that certain part of his brain, and causes him to act more according to his feelings and desires, and less logically and calculated. That can result in him getting a little rough with his kisses. It‘s not a bad thing, though. His kisses are amazing.

»»----------►

Jun’ichiro Tanizaki

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Jun’ichiro is very low-key when showing his affection, and prefers to do it with words of affirmations or small, thoughtful gestures. He's more used to being clung to than the other way around.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. The last one to leave the bed makes the bed. You two use that as motivation to get up, and he ends up doing it the most. He is very groggy and grumpy in the morning. As responsible as he is, the first half hour of being awake is filled with grumbling and "I don’t wanna"s.

Who wakes up first? -> You do. Wether you actually have to get up early or not, his alarm for work wakes you. And more effectively than it does Jun'ichiro. So even if it’s not by a lot, you are the first with your eyes open.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> You do. Jun’ichiro has real good music taste by modern standards. He already made you a ton of playlists for different occasions and moods. You rarely don’t listen to one of those playlists anymore.

Who is more protective? -> He is. You and Naomi are his entire world. The smallest insult towards you has his eyebrow twitching. He's going berserk if you’re being harassed or threatened in any way. And you know he'll keep you safe. Always.

Who sings more in the shower? -> He does. And it’s really cute. It’s more a mumbling and humming, you wouldn’t be able to understand a word even if you listened closely. He just likes to fill the void with a little melody.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Jun’ichiro isn’t emotional enough to cry over fiction easily. He's more focused on the story and the world- and character building, anyway. Sometimes it needs a little heartbreak to tell a good story. That doesn’t mean he isn’t a little sad, because he is.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> He does. Jun’ichiro himself doesn’t need much material possessions to be happy, but he sure loves spoiling you. Be it little trinkets, something that made him think of you, snacks he knows you like,… Imagining your face lighting up with joy is motivation enough to get any of those for you. It can be any and every day too, getting you a little gift doesn’t have to be connected to a special day.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. He is the opposite of rough. Sometimes he even asks you to calm down a little. Poor guy is overwhelmed and needs a breather. If you give him a little time to prepare, he will gladly indulge your wilder side.

»»----------►

Osamu Dazai

Who is the cuddliest? -> He is. Osamu has been deprived for so long, he says he has the right to sprawl over you whenever he wants. While it seems like his usual shenanigans, in actuality he wants to savor every touch, feel your warmth as often and as long as he possibly can. You are the holder of his heart, he loves you. A day without having his arms around you for even just a second is a tragic one indeed.

Who makes the bed? -> You do. He doesn‘t see the point of making the bed. Your shared bedroom isn‘t some kind of hotel that must look tidy for the next people. It is your space, and he personally doesn‘t mind it looking a little messy. The two of you push and pull the pillows and blanket to your liking in the evening anyway.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. Osamu typically doesn‘t sleep much. Lounge around and take a nap or two, yes, but he does that at the office. Gazing at your sleeping face in the morning is his caffeine for the day, and he can‘t get that when you‘re first to wake up, right? Also, waking you up comes with a bunch of fun possibilities. Most of which are only fun for him, not you.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Most people would think it‘s weird, anyway. His favorites are about the feeling of depression, being overwhelmed, burnt out, mourning. Sometimes it‘s nice to have your feelings put into words for you. Among those are a few fun ones sprinkled in. Some old classics too. If you scroll through his playlist, you might see something like this: Numb Little Bug(Em Beihold), Body(MotherMother), CPR x Misery(Remix), Memories(Maroon 5)-

Who is more protective? -> He is. Wether it‘s a real danger or something minor, like a bypass insult, he‘s got you. Just don‘t worry, he‘s going to take care of this. You will never see him angry during those situations. The last thing he wants is for you to worry, so he masks any worry with his usual goofy and sassy behavior. That is a rare accurance either way, Osamu makes sure you don‘t even get in that type of situation in the first place.

Who sings more in the shower? -> He does. Shower time is a time to relax, and a time to relax is a time to sing. Simple as that. He sings loud enough to hear himself properly over the rushing water, which is decently loud. You can hear this first-class concert from nearly everwhere within your home.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Osamu has seen things far worse than whatever is playing on the TV. So unless it‘s something that triggers real heart shattering memories, he is not going to cry. And even then, it‘s a single tear. You won‘t be able to notice. When it‘s you tearing up, he is quick to pull you against him and stroke your head. He shushes you gently as he comforts you like someone would a baby. It is all for fun, of course. And he wouldn‘t feel hurt if you started hitting him for being an ass. In fact, he‘d chuckle.

Who spends the most while out shopping? -> You do. Osamu is not above letting you spend your money on things he was supposed to pay for. Oops- It seems like he lost his wallet while drifting across the river, again. He does have some errands to run though! You wouldn‘t mind paying, right? He promises to repay you one way or another!

Who kisses more roughly? -> He does. The roughness comes with the playfulness he loves to kiss you with. Doesn‘t mean he doesn‘t love the way you seem to shiver when he gets a little more rough with his kissing. Because, oh boy, does he love it. Besides being playful, he also likes being flirty and pull all those cute reactions out of you. If you try to do the same to him, then the fight is on. He might let you win, but only because he loves you so much.

»»----------►

Ranpo Edogawa

Who is the cuddliest? -> He is. Ranpo is a clingy little gremlin. Munching on snacks while cuddled up to you in your lap is his favorite way to pass the time, for sure. You‘re so warm and soft and have just the right size for him. It‘s wise to plan ahead, since he will not let you go any time soon. Ranpo would get real whiny and pouty if you even try. Don‘t worry though! He‘s going to share his snacks with you if you ask nicely.

Who makes the bed? -> You do. He couldn‘t care less if the bed is made or not. You‘re very happy it‘s free of crumbs and wrappers at least.

Who wakes up first? -> You do. Cuddling makes him all drowsy, and of course cuddling you is what he does when sleeping with you. From when you fall asleep to when you wake up, he has his arms wrapped around your torso and his head either on your chest or in the crook of your neck. It would take a lot of willpower to get himself to leave the comfort you provide him so early in the day. Luckily, he isn‘t heavy, so it’s fairly easy for you to get out of bed once you manage to sit up.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. Ranpo listens to everything that gives him a happy feel. From Baby Shark to Starship, so long as it‘s got a good vibe, it‘s in his playlist.

Who is more protective? -> You are. He simply knows too much, there is no need to be protective. He is really chill. It‘s you who tends to act like a bodyguard, you have to, because Ranpo keeps getting into risky situations. He himself deducts he‘s safe, but you don‘t know that. He sure isn‘t safe from your fist after every risky endeavor you save him from.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. Bold of you to assume he showers. It‘s baths all the way. With bubbles and rubber ducks. Ranpo begs you to either join him or at least talk to him through the open bathroom door, otherwise he gets bored before he even washes himself. He is also the type to make fun of those who sing under the shower, so watch out.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Ranpo has figured out the plot in mere minutes, nothing can surprise him and nothing can shake him up enough to make him cry. And while he isn‘t mean about people crying at fiction, he doesn‘t really understand it either. You do realize this isn‘t real, right? Of course you do, but still! Watching movies with him is a real mood-killer. I suggest Comedies.

Who spends more while out shopping? -> He does. The amount of snacks he consumes daily ought to bring a heavy bill. Sometimes you wonder how he can even afford it. It really is a good thing he is so good at his job, and thus have a steady income to support his little addiction.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. Ranpo is nothing but soft with you. Even when he gets playful, his kisses stay soft, smooching you all over your face until he gets his fill. When you go more rough on him, he turns into a puddle, face bright red from the feeling. Nothing beats the taste of your lips, and it shows.

»»----------►

Yukichi Fukuzawa

Who is the cuddliest? -> You are. Physical affection is not his choice of love language. So long as you are within the comfort of your home, he doesn‘t have any problems, even if you get real clingy. Yukichi thinks you‘re really cute like this, but he doesn‘t want others to see.

Who makes the bed? -> He does. You two have found a good way to split daily tasks equally. While you make breakfast, he makes the bed. There is no complaining. And if you‘d like to switch it up, he‘ll gladly do so. It doesn‘t matter to him, if you aren‘t good at making a bed. Yukichi just hopes the food he makes is to your liking.

Who wakes up first? -> He does. Yukichi wakes up real early to get some morning practice in, as he doesn‘t have the time to do so at any other point of the day. He is way too busy with paperwork for that. Every morning he makes sure not to wake you while he gets out of bed and out to your backyard. After he‘s done and took a quick shower, he comes back and gently wakes you.

Who has the weirdest taste in music? -> He does. He is into traditional music, which might be considered weird by most. His knowledge of more modern music is very limited, as he doesn‘t normally consider looking them up. You are free to introduce him to your favorites, though. Music can be a way to express someones thoughts and feelings, thus it can tell a lot about you. And what kind of lover would he be to disregard you expressing something as valuable as that?

Who is more protective? -> He is. Yukichi wants you to be safe, always. He‘s taught you many ways to protect yourself when he‘s not there to do it for you. And when you two are together, you can consider him as your scary dog privilege. Because even though he doesn‘t look scary at a glance, he is very tall and muscular, and can send a nasty death glare if he wanted to. There is no way someone would dare to try anything while he is around. And if there was, he is quick to pull you behind him and deal with the situation swiftly. The sooner this is over, the sooner you are safe.

Who sings more in the shower? -> You do. You will never catch this man sing. Not ever. He‘s simply too embarrassed to do so. Humming is another story, but that is reserved for quiet times on your porch while looking at the stars. Yukichi likes listening to you sing under the shower, it‘s very sweet to him, how you are comfortable to risk him hear the echo of your voice.

Who cries more during movies? -> You do. Yukichi does get emotionally invested in characters, he simply doesn‘t cry. It takes a lot to get him there. When he notices you tearing up, he places a hand on your knee and draws little patterns on it.

Who spends more while out shopping? -> He does. Yukichi has everything he could ever want, so besides essentials, he rarely buys anything that peeks his interest. The occasional gift doesn‘t leave a huge dent on his wallet, but the moment he is set on spoiling you during a shopping trip, he will not hesitate. He could wait for hours on end for you to pick up and try on clothes, fill the shopping cart with snacks, toys, crafting materials,…anything you like. He knows it‘s not a waste of money when it‘s spent on you.

Who kisses more roughly? -> You do. Yukichi prefers going for your preferences when kissing, so he let‘s you take the lead unless you ask for him to do it. His touch is so soft, you‘d think he‘s scared to break you if he isn‘t careful. You‘re his little angel, and he will make sure you feel it.

[chuuyasfanboy]

hi! may i request hurt to comfort scenarios with dazai, ranpo and chuuya in which it's the first time they make the reader cry during an argument?

yesss hi my first request! I always love reading these kinds of scenarios, they're super angsty but also comforting ykykyk. This is just me but personally I have a really hard time reading hurt no comfort (definitely easy to write it tho hheeeh) so I usually prefer hurt comfort...

Anyways, here we go! I love these three sm<333

Ranpo, Dazai, and Chuuya (Seperate) x GN!Reader when they make you cry in an argument

Ranpo Edogawa

He should know better

No.

He DOES know better.

But for some reason, he just got so heated that he stopped thinking morally. Some evil part of him deep down inside wanted you to cry

The moment it happens though, everything comes back to him

He said the wrong thing at a HORRIBLY wrong time and he knew he did.

He drops everything, goes straight to petty, simple ways to get you to smile

Free reign to his candies, cuddles galore, constant apologies

His first priority is to stop you from being mad. Once you're calmed down, then you two can talk properly

He knows communication is important, and he tries his best to keep it going even when its embarrassing

Especially when it's about you, like it is now

When your tears have been reduced to nothing but little choked sobs, he pulls you into a separate room

Thankfully, nobody was in the office to see that

If they were, he'd be harassed about it for weeks. And he'd deserve it

But nobody was

Just in case though, he still pulls you into a private room

For your sake, he insists to himself, because he doesn't want you to be seen like this, he knows how bad it feels (And he doesn't want anyone to know it was him who did that to you)

He runs his hands through your hair gently, mumbling out soft, genuine apologies

"I'm so sorry, Sugar.." He whispers into your hair, your face stuffed and hidden away in the crook of his neck. He holds you there, because he doesn't mind it, and he needs you to know that right now. "I didn't mean any of it, I'm so sorry. I knew better than that..."

Dazai Osamu

"Oh shit-"

His mind goes completely blank, his jaw drops

He didn't mean to bring you to tears, that was never his intention

Honestly, he thought it was a funny joke, he thought it would lighten the argument

But it did not, it most certainly did not.

His arms immediately wrap around your head and pull you close to his chest

He doesn't want you to pull away, not right now

He needs a second to process himself

To think about his words, what about them affected you

"Oh, 'donna.."

Seeing you like this gets to him, because he honest to god feels like a monster now

What kind of beast makes his own lover cry. He never thought it would be him

So he keeps you close, he mumbles into your ear and tries to calm down you

He's not good at it, he never has been, and he never will be

But he's trying so hard he might cry himself

And then you're both in tears together, confused and miserable

Safe to say after that, the argument blows over and is forgotten

Because nothing is more important than each other, and now you're both just trying to figure out why the other is in tears

"I didn't mean it, 'donna, I didn't," it's the fifth time he's said it in the last minute. You know he's sorry, but hell if he's going to stop saying it. He's trying to comfort himself too, promise to himself that he'd never treat you like that again. Even if it was harmless, even if you were just in a bad mood, he never wants to hurt you.

Chuuya Nakahara

Somehow, this always seemed to happen

After a shitty day at work, and a shitty day for you too.

Usually, you two would just sit in silence, enjoy a movie, and go to bed quietly

But on the few occasions where you two did talk during those frustrating nights, everything cracked

He was so mad, and you were too, you were both so tired

And everything fell into yelling so quickly, quicker than usual

This is why you two didn't talk after shared long days, because of this

But you never cried

You never cried because of him

Not until now

He's almost breathless when he realizes you're choking over your words

He whips around to face you, and for a second it looks like he's going to yell at you more

But instead he's gently wiping your tears away

Because fuck, as perfect as you are regardless, you should never be crying when he's around

When you two got together, he promised you would never cry again

And that was a lie, it seems

You didn't even remember that promise, of course. But he did, because he meant it

This is very serious to him.

He seats you on the couch, tucks a blanket around you, and sits down in front of you on the floor, holding your hands in his

He knows he can't really make up for it. Yelling at you was always a shitty idea, and he should've realized that before every time the two of you devolved into arguments like that

But now the pressure had all come down on your chest, and he was going to keep it from being too much

Your favorite movie or show is on as background noise

Soft kisses on your hands, quiet mumbles in your skin

He's so gentle with you. Maybe it doesn't always seem like that, but he is right now

"My sweet thing, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have yelled like that. I'll make up for it," his voice is always so harmonic like that, when he's frowning up at you and tracing shapes into the palm of your hand. He's ordering takeout, your favorite comfort or safe food. He'll even cook it himself if you ask, anything to make you feel better right now. There's water to your side, the softest blanket he could find tucked snug around your shoulders. And he's going to stay here with you for as long as you need to forgive him.

[guacamoleroll]

— 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖘 + 𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖕𝖔 ₊˚⊹

pairing: ranpo edogawa (bungou stray dogs) x gender-neutral!reader

content warning(s): ranpo is secretly a softie (i'll die on this hill), candy, diabetic levels of fluff, ranpo has a sweets addiction (especially to his sweet s/o)

author's note: i realized it's the first time i've ever written for ranpo (despite my love for him). this asshole has grown on me over the year.

would you like to see more? join the taglist or comment under this post!

"I'm boreddd."

The infamous detective's voice echoed across the walls, interrupting his co-workers's paperwork as they tried to finish a large stack of incident reports leftover from the previous month. Not only did the poor man not have any cases to work on, but his candy stash had run out. He would normally have Atsushi run to the store to pick up a couple bags, but the weretiger was out with Dazai and Kunikida, leaving him deserted.

He grumbled to himself as his stomach rumbled, even though he had only munched on the last piece of candy moments ago.

"Oh, Ranpoooo!"

He didn't even bother to look up as you walked into the office, despite the fact he could practically feel the way you beamed at his slumped over form.

"I'm too tired. Go away," he snipped, voice muffled into his arms.

You chuckled, knowing he never actually meant it, before placing a large plastic bag onto the desk next to his head. He sniffled in self-pity, before smelling the fresh, sweet auroma in the air. His eyes cracked open, staring at the bag of freshly-made homemade candies. It was practically filled to the brim, tied off at the top with a curled ribbon. He practically tore through the bag itself, popping one after another into his mouth with a delighted hum.

"Do you like 'em?"

He slowly returned your gaze, pausing as you smiled softly down at him. His arms wrapped around your waist, quietly crunching on another piece of candy as he hid his lovesick smile into your stomach. You giggled, running your fingers through his messy black hair.

"I'm guessing that's a yes."

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @imhandicapableofmath @seisitive @hauntedsol @ruru-kiss @ishqani @zyilas @lovesick-fairy @fedyascoffin @aquigglewigglewoo @kelperspelt

© 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 2023 — do not repost or modify my works for any reason. do not steal graphics w/o explicit permission. reblogs are appreciated.

[truly-a-snitch]

Hi! Hi! I just discovered your blog and I have a request. So can I request Ranpo, Sigma and Dazai with a s/o who is like really calm and reserved in public but when they're alone together you can't separate them. Like a clingy, touchy, overprotective s/o who is reserved in public or at work. BUT if anyone hurts their partner they will go to war!! THEN afterwards come home and cuddle with them.

🍬 - Idk if you do the emoji things but I'm signing off with this one.

(You can just ignore this if you want, NO PRESSURE)

this is actually so cute. me and who

this sorta turned into just ways they show affection sorry i got carried away. jn my defense i love these three

warnings: none !! this is fluff but only sort of partially answers the prompt oopsies

---

Ranpo, Sigma, and Dazai with a reserved but affectionate S/O

Ranpo

ranpo is very affectionate no matter where you go so you two could not be more different in that regard

like. at home ? hes never not in your lap. shopping ? your arms Will be linked together (so he doesnt lose you, in his own words). at work ? he sidles up next to you and slings his legs over yours while he begrudgingly does his paperwork

he doesnt mind that youre more reserved when it comes to pda !! he knows how to tone it down when he gets to be too much

he just has a lot of love to give ok :-(

ranpo is 100% the type to just like. after a long day he will very dramatically splay himself across your lap and be like "ughhh im dying of boredom..... blehhhhh........."

his favorite activity is laying on top of you and demanding that you entertain him (any means possible) (especially reading to him)

he BITES !! leaves hickies on accident sometimes (he says hes sorry but like. is he really) and he encourages you to bite him right back fr. hes so silly i love him

admittedly he is a little upset he cant be as affectionate w you in public but he loves u enough that its ok and he makes up for it by not letting go of you from the moment you get home to the moment you go to bed

has fallen asleep in your lap before. also has fallen asleep on top of you on the couch before. haha good luck getting up you cant youd disturb him

congrats on the cat boyfriend btw

Sigma

silly... as somebody who runs a casino (yes he still runs the casino in my head. canon can get bent) he is very very busy, so he understands that there simply may not be time or energy to dedicate to him during working hours

affection shared between him is often that tired sort if only because after a full day the last thing he wants is something high energy

seeing as he spent a lot of time around fyodor, public physical contact of any kind is probably still a taboo hes deconstructing, so hes very much grateful that you arent really big on pda yourself (if only because he doesnt feel ready for all that at this point in time)

he likes to just lay against you, or hold your hand while he does his paperwork :3

big on forehead kisses. he loves them okay. the inherent tenderness of it makes him forget how to speak for a little bit he gets So flustered its actually the cutest thing ever

sigmas also a big big fan of massages (he runs on energy drinks, stress, and pure unfettered anxiety okay. i bet his muscles are Stiff)

and if you give him coffee...? doesnt matter if u made it or not. you are Getting Kissed

sleeping next to each other,, sleepy kissing,,, naps together,,,, top tier

sigma likes to just sit on the couch and watch tv with you. lay on him right now do it. diy weighted blanket

he treats you with fancy schmancy meals from the casino kitchens. you guys get to have date night where its just you watching tv and eating good food and drinking wine (hes a white wine guy you cant tell me otherwise)

Dazai

dazai isnt super affectionate in public, hes sorta similar to you in that regard, but he still has to be touching you almost all the time

HES SO ANNOYING ABOUT IT TOO his love language is annoying you so he will find the most inconvenient ways to Just Barely Touch You so that you have to talk to him and tell him to stop

getting home tho you get to literally watch the mask melt away. you sit down on the couch and he immediately just relaxes into you, he is ALL over u

(pspsps play with his hair. and like gently run ur nails over his scalp a lil bit. he gets so so sleepy when you do that)

dazai is so NEEDY w affection but he knows how to act like he doesnt want/need it in front of other ppl

if ur in private and ur not actively giving him attention. he will stare at u for a bit before practically tackling you. bro sprawls

hes not like AGAINST pda btw i forgot to touch on that its just that he prefers to be more private with his genuine romantic endeavors :3 like hell annoy you on purpose in public but behind closed doors hes a softie fr

dazai also bites as a love language like ranpo does but dazai is always careful not to accidentally bite too hard (ranpo may not give a fuck but dazai certainly does)

he rly likes laying on top of you. fair tbh laying on ur s/o is better than therapy

anyway overall hes very much like. purposely annoying or embarrassing in public but hes much more romantic behind closed doors

[asuyaka]

Omg I loved ur dazai x male reader whose rich, could I request something similar but it's Ranp instead? Please ignore this if your requests aren't open or smth 😊😅

★ - 's okay !! 'm reqs are open s' you can req as much as you want!! :3

☆ - Edogawa Ranpo x GN! Reader — can be read as Male reader!!

You were busy working, making small talk with Atsushi from time to time if you were confused about something or you got tired of looking at a white screen and black letters for hours on end.

In truth, you were waiting for the small, very tiny present you got Ranpo for his birthday to arrive. You already did everything in the morning, wake him up with breakfast in bed— pancakes with chocolate chips and a shit ton of syrup— buy him every single thing he wanted at a candy store and take him on a small date to get mochi from a hand-made small business you enjoyed going to as a kid.

Ranpo is busy doing what he always does. Lazying around and eating candy. Though, Kunikida doesn't bother him because Ranpo has 'birthday privileges', whatever that means.

You glance at the time. It should've arrived an hour ago, but you didn't get a notification. Sighing dejectedly, you save the file you were working on and grab your coat.

"Heyyy! Are you going somewhere?" Ranpo yells from his seat. If the overflowing trash can full of snack wrappers says anything, it's that he's run out of food. Already.

"You only think of me as snack supply, don't you?" You roll your eyes in feigning annoyance, letting your boyfriend koala hug your back as you have goodbye to the remaining ADA members.

"Where are we going?" Ranpo asks, adjusting his position so his cheek is pressing against yours, his arms stretched out so his elbows are pressed against your shoulder.

You wave goodbye to Naomi, the soft breeze hitting your skin relaxes you in a way. "You followed me without knowing where I was going?"

Ranpo huffs. "Yeah! I'm not gonna spend my time in that boring office! The director is busy today so I can't annoy him."

Your phone buzzes and you look down at the notification. It's Atsushi, with a picture of a stuffed animal almost twice his size. You groan. Of course it arrived when you left— of course it did.

"Somethin' wrong?" Ranpo asks as he shifts up, pulling your body along with him.

"No, everything is great." You mutter as you stuff your phone back in your pocket.

"Don't you use super deduction on me either." You add, causing Ranpo to groan. "I wanna know what made you so mad! C'monnnn!!! Please?"

"No, Ranpo. It'll ruin it." You walk into the local convenience store and grab a trolley. Sure, you get weird stares but you're used to that. It isn't the regular convenience store you go to, the people who work there are used to you and Ranpo's antics but these people aren't. You two are less than bothered as Ranpo gets three of every snack in the entire store.

The total is pricey, 11,373 yen but it barely makes a dent in your bank account.

Ranpo peppers your cheek with kisses, occasionally asking you if you wanted some to eat. You politely declined. It was his birthday after all, and you wanted him to have anything he wanted.

He always said it was perks of having a rich partner, but you didn't mind. You know he loved you for you, not just your money.

Walking back to the ADA with bags upon bags of snacks in your hands, you hope the snacks are enough to keep Ranpo busy. With a soft smile, you walk past Naomi, ride the elevator up to the offices, and open the door.

"I don't wanna—" Ranpo stops himself when he sees the massive, fucking gigantic stuffed bear that replaces his chair. He jumps off your back, stuffing the last Oreo in his mouth as he examines it.

It's twice his size with a note on the side of it.

Dazai, who's beside you, whines dramatically about when he's going to get a partner who buys weird sappy shit like what you do for Ranpo.

"I love you sososososo much!!" Ranpo runs up and hugs you causing you to stumble a bit. He peppers your cheek with kisses and goes on and on about how he's going to tell his dad—he means the director, he always does when he mentions his father— and how he's going to marry you.

"Ewww, I hate happy couples." Dazai gags and Kunikida makes a fuss about you using Ranpo's birthday privilages to escape work.

You press a kiss on Ranpo's lips, putting his snacks by his stuffed toy with a warm smile.

You truly do love him, great infamous detective or not.

[sirhyst]

Fukuzawa x child!reader x child!ranpo

Note: In case you were wondering why he’s so rigid around you and Ranpo, this is a younger Fukuzawa. If you read the Untold Origins light novel he literally thinks of 50 ways to get rid of Ranpo.

————————————————————————-

Fukuzawa didn’t know at what point he began to regret every decision that led him to this point in his life. Was it back at the crime scene, when you and Ranpo kicked down the door of the Presidents office? Was it when he watched you two obliterate your red bean porridge?

Whenever it was, all he wanted was to reclaim the calming silence that broke ties with him as soon as he offered to look after you two.

The trio had reached Fukuzawa’s house. It was an old home—it wasn’t very big, but big enough for a man and the little gremlins that followed him. He managed to keep them distracted with unsolved mysteries until night fell over Yokohama, by suggestion of his guide to raising 5 year olds

“You can sleep in this room tonight and I’ll put you in another room,” Fukuzawa said in his usual collected way.

You and Ranpo nodded, for the first time that day, holding back any snarky remarks. Fukuzawa helped you both set up your futons, before retiring to his own room.

As he was about to start changing, he heard little feet running towards his door. He turned around to find you standing there with a cold stare.

“I need a something to listen to,” you said blankly, as if he should have known this despite only meeting you today. You were about to express more grievances, when Ranpo ran up behind you.

“I can’t sleep in the dark,” he whined. Neither of you were blood related, but you managed to hold the exact same expression. Fukuzawa sighed , placing his hand in his head.

Without saying anything he led you both back to your bedrooms, grabbing a nightlight for Ranpo and a small radio for you on the way. He returned to his room, and attempted to begin changing again.

Before he undid the first button, little feet were once again heard stomping towards his door.

“Can you sit with me?” You said quietly. Before Fukuzawa could send you back to your room, Ranpo once again appeared behind you as if summoned.

Feeling the discomfort of these two gremlins staring into his soul catching up to him, he complied.

“You’re a patient old guy, y’know?” You said while staring at the ceiling. Ranpo chimes in, but Fukuzawa was too overcome by tiredness to respond in fear that it would only be met with a snarky remark from the other. He sat there with them for what felt like an hour until silence filled the room.

Being to caught up in the subtle excitement that the two had calmed down, he foolishly believed that he would finally be able to get some rest.

Fukuzawa quietly closed the door, not bothering to take Ranpo back to his own room. He quickly changed into his night clothes and peaked out of his room to make sure the duo had not followed him back.

He slipped into his futon, recounting the days events. He’d been through a lot, meeting new people, vowing to himself that he would never grow closer to them beyond knowing their name. But here he was, his daily routine suddenly taking a drastic turn, having two brats children to look after.

His stream of thoughts was suddenly interrupted when he felt someone place their head on his chest.

His eyes flew open. He looked to his side to find that you had somehow snuck into his room with your blanket. You cling onto his shirt.

“There’s something in my room, I know it!” You whimpered. He was going to point out that the extra scary presence was Ranpo but decided against it. Before he could move, Ranpo appeared at the door.

Perhaps he could hear his thoughts, Fukuzawa thought to himself. Without saying a word, Ranpo crawled onto Fukuzawa’s right side. The man sighed to himself, realising there was no escaping his current predicament. If it was a predicament.

I’m too soft*, he thought to himself. He could’ve kicked them both to the curb, but whether or not he’d be able to sleep at night was the problem.

It was quiet before you raised your head to look him in the eyes. Fukuzawa knew what was coming and before you had the chance to even sign, he got up and retrieved the radio and nightlight he had placed in yours and Ranpos room.

As soon as he laid back down, you and Ranpo cuddled up to him closer than he would’ve liked, but of course accepted it.

“Fukuzawa-san,” you said in a hushed voice, notably the quietest voice you’ve used all day.

“Hm?” He responded. He waited for you to speak up again, but was met with the joint small snores from the children on either side of him.

[dootdootwriting]

HIHIHI IDK IF URE STILL TAKIJG REQUEST BUT IF U ARE, ATUSHI,DAZAI AND RANPO MAKING READER CRY? (gender neutral or fem is great if that’s okayyy) TAKE CARE 😘💞💓 make sure ure eating drinking sleeping and all that jazz 🫶🫶

featuring: atsushi; dazai; ranpo (separately tw: mild descriptions of violence/injury in atsushi's part, crying, dazai typical suicide jokes/discussion of them in his part, "angel" as a pet name, swearing (from me) type: angst to fluff, hurt/comfort pronouns used: none (no use of "belladonna") (dazai flirts with another woman but god dammit that man is BISEXUAL. reader is gn) a/n: YIPPEEE THREE OF MY BEST BOYS!! and tysm im actually coming down with some kindof sickness my dad has covid so i hope its. not that LMAO but thank you <333 i'm going to bed after i write this!

under the cut for length <3 i may have gotten a LITTLE carried away with dazai DHAGHDG

ATSUSHI

is it even possible for this dude to make you cry, genuinely? he's such a caring boyfriend that he second guesses just about everything he says in case it could somehow offend you

it's partially adorable and partially annoying

so, him hurting you is pretty much out of the question. so how the hell does this sweetheart end up making you cry??

by getting hurt

he gets beaten within an inch of his life in yet another accidental run-in with akutagawa, and you have to drag him out of that situation as fast as you can, carrying him all the way to the ada

kunikida opens the door, notices your tear-stained face first and then atsushi's limp body flung over your shoulder, and calls for yosano immediately. she arrives in under three seconds, scooping him up and rushing him to her infirmary.

and now, all you can do is wait

hours after the incident, after yosano informs everyone that he'll most likely pull through, you try to get some work done. but with your boyfriend having just nearly been killed, it's pretty much impossible.

ranpo is so worried about how distressed you look that he offers you a pocky stick. you accept it and eat it, but it doesn't taste like anything.

your thanks is half-hearted.

you're sitting there in front of your google doc, eyes tired and red from sobbing earlier. there are three words written on what's supposed to be an incident report. kunikida sighs, pats you on the back, and takes your laptop away from you, telling you he'll take care of it.

that's when yosano gently re-enters the main room, calling you over

atsushi is sitting upright in bed, eyes misty. as soon as he sees you, he tries to sit up even more. yosano snaps at him.

the thing you want to do more than anything is jump into his arms and cry into his chest, but you don't want to risk hurting him even more. so, instead, you opt to gently sit on the edge of his bed and wrap your arms around him.

both of you start crying again, and atsushi promises he'll be more careful next time.

DAZAI

oh good lord . what did he do this time

jokingly flirting with yet another woman and asking if she'll do a double suicide with him again? yeah, that'll do it.

as always, his newest mark turns him down, skittering away as quickly as possible. you don't blame her.

"how come you keep asking people to commit suicide with you?"

"hm?" he doesn't seem to understand, flashing you that head-empty smile. he's completely enamored with you, you can tell, but then... why is he still up to his stupid habits?

"i mean, you're with me now. are you still really looking for someone to die with you?"

"well, you keep saying no, so what am i supposed to do~?"

it's a joke, you can tell. it's always a joke, except when it isn't, and with dazai, really, who can tell?

you don't want him to run off and end his life with some lady he met fifteen minutes ago. and they all reject him anyway, but what if, one day, one of them doesn't? would he be caught off guard and admit he was teasing? or would he not even miss a beat and actually go through with it?

the thought of him just leaving you without warning is so distressing, your eyes start to tear up. you thought you were done with this.

immediately, dazai notices. his eyebrows furrow and his expression immediately sobers.

"hey, angel, what's wrong?"

through tears, you have to explain everything to him. how much he means to you, and how little you feel that it seems that he could throw you and the rest of his life away at the drop of a hat. how you can never tell if he's joking, if he means it, if he's teasing. how much you just want him to stay with you and never leave.

he's taken aback. for a fraction of a second, dazai's eyes widen and he's left at a complete loss for words.

of course, as always, he regains his composure almost immediately, pulling you in as close as he can to his chest and rubbing circles into your back.

"i thought you knew you meant too much to me for me to do that," he murmurs, his voice as low and soothing as he can muster. "i'm so sorry, i didn't realize how much this was bothering you. i won't do it anymore, i promise. and you never have to worry about me leaving you like that. i can't just throw all this away! you're everything."

and he holds you like that for as long as you need before taking you back home.

RANPO

this man and his fucking candy i swear to god

it's always a bargain with him. you want a kiss? okay, but you owe him a lollipop. hugs? while he's working? you'd better have a cookie ready.

honestly, it's almost as if he's doing it just for you. like he doesn't love the affection just as much as you do, if not even more

ranpo enters every request of him with the mindset of it being a trade. instead of both of you receiving a kiss, it's your request, so he deserves something in return.

it's stupid is what it is (in a complete contrast to ranpo himself)

"i'm not giving you a lollipop, ranpo. you either get a hug, or you don't."

"fine, i guess i don't then. suit yourself." he spins his chair back around and gets back to typing, making a point of only using his index fingers to go as slowly as possible

"this is stupid, ranpo."

he swivels back around, his eyes open and giving you one of the most piercing expressions you've seen from him thus far.

"stupid? it's not stupid, it's just the way i do things. if you want a hug so bad, go to kunikida for all i care. besides, you should know better. if my own way sounds stupid to you, that means you're the dumb one. i'm just taking advantage of an opportunity; nobody said you had to get all fussy about it. just get back to work and leave me alone."

it stings! i mean, this is your boyfriend, who, despite being selfish at times, is usually one of the sweetest and most caring people you've met. just because of a lollipop? and you're the stupid one?

you feel like crying.

oh. you are crying?

you hadn't even noticed, and you weren't even sure why - this type of thing was usually something you should be able to suck up and give ranpo the silent treatment about.

but you're crying?

ranpo notices from the corner of his eye, and immediately feels insanely guilty

so of course he makes a show out of it.

"wait! there's something wrong! something doesn't add up!"

he stands up on his chair, procuring his glasses from his pocket and flashily but delicately placing them on his face.

"my lovely partner is crying! which can only mean one thing. it seems... in this singular, incredibly improbable situation... i, the world's greatest detective.... am wrong!"

he drops back down to sit cross legged on his chair again, puting his glasses back into his pocket.

"i'm really sorry, i didn't think this would upset you so much. i'll give you as many hugs as you want from now on."

[coffeeailee]

hey miss ailee! nice blog you have here ^^

anywho, may i request your general headcanons for ranpo x reader? please tell me if you require more info! thank you and have fun writing! <3

happy sugary love.

chars . Edogawa ranpo x GN! Reader

fandom . bungo stray dogs

romance / fluff ? . romance

warning . cringe, that's it. cringe.

When you fall in love with ranpo, he can immediately tell the way your eyes look at him, it's already enough for him to know how you feel about him. Yet, he doesn't say anything about it, he was quite unsure what to say about you...

As you develop your feelings more, Ranpo eventually starts to develop feelings for you as well. If you're observant enough, it's pretty obvious by him sharing his snacks with you and pretty much more, everyone in the armed detective agency can see that both of you are clearly in love with each other, even the oblivious one can tell. It was really obvious.

If you ever wanted to find someone to solve a mission along with you, Ranpo WOULD immediately jump and give you a thousand reasons why he's the best person to go on a mission along with you, if you however did reject his offer ... He wouldn't really be happy, and was going to have a pouty face all day while sitting on his chair and looked even more annoyed when someone called for him.

If you did accept, you wouldn't be the one who's doing your mission. He will be the one who's doing your mission instead, Even if you insist he actually genuinely gives zero shit. He doesn't want you to be tired at all! Why bother being tired when the world's greatest detective is here by your side?

Anyways, usually after you two finished the mission. Ranpo would force make you go to a candy store with him to share the candy together!, and perhaps an ice cream would work too... Whatever, he just wants to eat something sweet along with you by his side. That's the perfect reward for the world's greatest detective.

After a while, you finally confessed to ranpo !, gosh ranpo was really disappointed you didn't confess early enough, but it's okay. He forgives you since he likes you as well! you two would start to be assigned to the same mission so you two could always be together no matter what, ranpo was the one who requested it, as long you're with him, he'll do whatever fukuzawa told him to do.

he would show you different snacks that you've never tried before and smile brightly as he shows you each different snacks you've never seen or try, not only does he get to eat snacks, he also gets to eat snacks with you!

Overall, your date is usually going to a store that has sweets or eat snacks in the park, or maybe going to a festival if there happens to have one. Ranpo is definitely the best person if you happen to like sweets as well, plus he's the one who's going to do YOUR mission! not you!, you wouldn't be tired as long as the world's greatest detective is here by your side!

note I : It feels really weird writing this, i wanted to add more but I ran out of ideas .. i apologize if it's really short. I was actually hesitant to post this one... But I managed to force myself to post this publicly. I also think I added too much bold onto the text.. sorry I'm obsessed with the bold on the font 😔

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Making Christmas treats with Ranpo, but he pours hot chocolate into his sugar instead because the sneaky little detective is in the jolly spirit for diabates- And couch cuddles with smooches!

Pairings: Ranpo x reader

Warnings: GN!reader, cuteness overload, baking that doesn't go quite as expected..., smooching

Genre/Format: Fluff; Oneshot

Please check my blog title to verify whether requests are closed or not! Thank you!

“Ok... So now we just cream together butter and sugar. Got it.” You muttered to yourself, reading the recipe on your phone while cracking an egg into a small bowl

On the counter behind you sat your partner, Ranpo, drinking the hot chocolate that you made from scratch the other day. Creating your own dry mix was a bit difficult, since Ranpo decided to eat cocoa powder every time you looked away... Though you eventually mixed together a rich blend that the two of you could enjoy during your holiday baking marathon

“Hey, babe, can you put that butter in the bowl with sugar in it for me? Thank you.”

Honestly you should have known better than to take your eyes off of him for an extended amount of time... that never ended well. You'd learn your lesson today though

Turning around to find Ranpo tipping his mug over the bowl of sugar (and butter...he did at least do what you asked...). The entire world seemed to move in slow motion as you shouted a squeaky “Nooo!!”, watching in horror as half a mug of the warm, chocolatey beverage dissolved the dry ingredient and melted the fatty butter

Ranpo smiled that adorable eyes-shut smile, apparently pleased with himself, when he turned towards you. Words rose to the surface but quickly died on your tongue, leaving you to stammer in disbelief, flicking your gaze between the soiled bowl of goop and your giggling boyfriend. He broke the silence by explaining, “What? This recipe needs some chocolate! You should thank me for fixing it, y/n!”

“Ranpo you little shit! Why did you do that?!” Despite your shouting, a smile crept onto your face at your boyfriend's antics. You laughed as he started to mix his little concoction with a whisk, blurting out, “C'mere you! You'll pay for that!”

The bowl clattered on the countertop as Ranpo took off running with you hot on his heels, both of you playfully screaming during the pursuit

“You can't run from me, boy! I'll get you!” You shouted, rounding the corner into the living room. Ranpo chucked a throw pillow at you (how ironic) but you expertly smacked it before it hit you in the face. Eventually, you tackled the boy onto the couch, pinning his hands to the cushions and straddling his hips, exclaiming a hearty “Gotcha!” in victory

A pout found its way onto Ranpo's lips. “Y/nnn!! No fair!” Ranpo's childish demeanor is far more obvious when you get into play fights together

“Hehe~ Mess with me, I'll tie you down and eat every last one of those pastries while you watch!” You teased, to which Ranpo stuck his tongue out at you, unable to do much else since you had him pinned

“Stick your tongue out again, see what happens.” You smirk, staring your partner down in a heated showdown. As soon as he did, you closed the distance between your faces, startling Ranpo with a surprise kiss. When you pulled away he was pouting again, this time with a light blush spreading under his skin

Your triumphant giggles filled the room, soon joined by your partner encouraging you (oh so subtly) to continue kissing him, unless you're a coward! The bait worked though, seeing as you attacked his face with soft pecks; not missing his cheeks, nose, jawline, forehead, corners of his eyes, and really any inch of skin up there

By the end of your vicious barrage Ranpo was slightly less upset, giggling along with you. “Ok ok!! Jeez... I know you can't resist me, but can we finish baking now? I'm hungry!”

Ah, yes. His craving for snacks is never quite sated... “In a minute. Just lay in my arms for a tiny bit? Then we'll finish up, I promise!.”

Reluctantly, Ranpo's arms wrapped around you, hugging you close and sighing in content

[4channerguy]

tug of war / ranpo edogawa

hello...guys.... oh my god i acutally didn't expect my last fic to gain traction? thank you? anyways this is a repost from my ao3 fic that i am very proud of. its very cute i like it a lot tumblr is fun :^) xoxo (。・∀・)ノ

warnings ✎ : none. just ranpo stealing your blankets i guess. gn reader, pronouns aren't mentioned. ➜ ┊ pairings: ranpo x reader

wc: 592 (short, i know)

it was cold again.

you groggily woke up to nothing on your body, shivering with prickled skin. you look at the alarm clock. it was only 4:06 am. you turn to your side, and much to your avail, ranpo, again, had hogged all of the blankets. wrapped around him, with only the exception of a tuft of hair peeking out. he reminded you of a hamster that had burrowed inside of it’s own bedding. though cute, you were rightfully pissed off. sighing loudly, you nudge ranpo.

“hey…hey!” you shout-whispered. he grunted in response.

“you took all the blankets again,” you whisper. “it’s cold, you need to share.” he grunted again and proceeded to unroll himself half-assedly before going back to sleep.

only a quarter of the blanket was given to you. you accepted the gesture anyway, trying to make do with it, before falling back asleep.

you woke up an hour later.

your body was now dangerously closer to the edge of the bed with nothing on you. again. you seriously had enough of this. determined to get your blanket back, you firmly but gently tugged the blanket that was still cocooned around ranpo. he grumbled in his half-asleep state and resisted. you only kept trying, and finally, out of pure hard work, you were able to gain a better halve of the blanket. feeling weirdly triumphant about your achievement (while ranpo was blissfully unaware) you put it over you carefully and buried yourself in it in delight. you look over at ranpo who had his cheek squished against the pillow, creating a pool of drool on it. you brush his bangs up and kiss him on his forehead. he smiled in his sleep and you suppressed the urge to start aggressively kissing him all over his face. you sighed as your head hit the pillow.

morning hit and you and ranpo collectively trudged towards the kitchen where you made coffee and he made toaster waffles.

“we should get two blankets.” you randomly mention. he raises an eyebrow while rubbing an eye. “what for?” he replies while flicking an eye booger out of his eye. you stare at him.

“you seriously don’t remember last night.”

“uh….nope.”

you turn around as your coffee’s done. “we played a game of tug of war last night.”

“oh really?” he says absentmindedly while trying to pull two of the waffles from the toaster with his bare hands. “shit, ouch.”

you reach towards his hurt hand and kiss it while he pouts. “yeah we did. and it wasn’t fun.” you retort back, sulking. he kisses your hand back and smirks showing his canines. “apologies that i’m such a blanket thief. it’s a…what’s the word…involuntary. yeah, involuntary reflex i can’t control.”

you roll your eyes. “well, your reflex makes me not sleep well. i’d rather not walk into work brain-dead because i fought so many battles with you when i’m trying to sleep. thanks.”

he munches on his now rescued waffle while handing your share to you. you accept.

he nudges you. “i can be your blanket you know? we can, like, share body heat and-”

“please, in your dreams. you know that’ll just cocoon yourself anyways. we tried that before.”

he shrugs. “just giving suggestions. don’t worry about your cute butt anyway, we’ll go to a convenience store and get a blanket. if you promise to get me shrimp chips on the way.”

you sip your coffee and smile. “i promise.”

⋆｡𖦹 °✩ 11.24.23, do not repost or translate my content :^)

[tobi-boi]

"Hey hey, I want attention"

Characters included: Osamu Dazai, Ranpo Edogawa, Ryunosuke Akutagawa, Chuuya Nakahara Genre: fluff Reader gender: gender neutral Warnings: none Word count: 469

The context is just.. this gif;

✦Osamu Dazai✦

╺ Despite being in the same room, sitting mere feet away from each other; you decide to text Dazai.

╺ "Hey hey, I want attention."

╺ You can hear how a soft laugh leaves his throat.

╺ "Oh? Why didn't you just come over here then?"

╺ "... Just give me attention."

╺ "Okay okay, fine. ^^"

╺ You glance over to where Dazai last was, but only to see the area vacant. Where did he go?

╺ That's when you feel him snake his arms around your waist, and air tickle your neck.

╺ "Is this what you wanted?"

╺ He'll stay as long as you want, as long as you need. He'll give you all the attention you crave.

✦Ranpo Edogawa✦

╺ Ranpo wasn't at the Agency, so the safest bet was that he was out solving a case– or he was out buying more snacks.

╺ "Hey hey, I want attention."

╺ He replies pretty quickly.

╺ "Sure, I'm on my way back now anyways."

╺ "I'll be right there."

╺ And as he said, he got back pretty quickly. He headed right over to you, holding a plastic bag– presumably containing snacks.

╺ After placing the bag on the table, Ranpo leans over and gives you a peck on the lips before sitting down himself.

╺ He'll maybe even share his snacks with you– key word is maybe, it's not a high chance.

✦Ryunosuke Akutagawa✦

╺ You had no idea where Ryunosuke was, safest bet was that he was out on a mission. Either way, you decide to text him.

╺ "Hey hey, I want attention."

╺ It takes a bit for him to reply, but he eventually does.

╺ "And? I'm busy."

╺ "Oh. :("

╺ He doesn't reply after that, leaving you craving for attention.

╺ You are caught off-guard when a pair of arms wrap themselves around you– Ryunosuke.

╺ You half-expected him just to ignore your needs, and go about his day after the answer he gave you.

╺ "Like this, right?"

✦Chuuya Nakahara✦

╺ Chuuya was either on a mission or lurking about. You didn't care which was the case, you were craving attention.

╺ "Hey hey, I want attention."

╺ He doesn't reply right away, but does so eventually.

╺ "Okay? What do you want me to do about it?"

╺ "You're so mean, Chu. :("

╺ "Don't call be that! >:T"

╺ "Haha."

╺ That was that, you weren't going to get any attention.

╺ That last line was a lie, cause eventually you are poked on the head. When you look up, you see Chuuya standing in front of you.

╺ "So you wanted attention, right?"

╺ His arms wrap around your waist, and he places a kiss on your neck before promptly resting his head against your shoulder.

[goldenbaroness]

𝓑𝓾𝓷𝓰𝓸 𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓪𝔂 𝓓𝓸𝓰𝓼 - Edogawa Ranpo SFW Alphabet

You know what, Ranpo is living in my mind rent free lately, so I thought maybe I should do something about that and write what I was thinking about. I’m writing this after four hour sleep, so any grammatical errors I apologize. I hope you enjoy and have fun! Reader is gender neutral. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?) Very affectionate, but more in private. Ranpo’s love language would totally be “Physical Touch”. He’s clingy, loves to cuddle to sleep, loves to hug you from behind while you’re in the kitchen cooking something. Even showering together too, if you would like. He might be a bit private about it though. Deep inside, he’s scared someone might use you to make him do something. That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t go out on dates and hold hands out in the open, just at certain times and places.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?) If Idiots to Lovers was trope, that would be it. You work at the agency as Fukuzawa’s assistant, and from the start you two liked each other. Specially if you’re a sweet tooth as well, then you’ll talk about what’s your favorite chocolate and what’s the best wonka candy. Since you two get along so well, you two also share some stupid feats together. Such as stealing Fukuzawa’s afternoon snack or eating candy inside one of the lockers. The first time you two did that, Ranpo was sure his heart would jump out his throat, even knowing for sure that’s impossible. He even asked what did you do to him, and that certainly became a mystery he would like to solve. Later on, he found the culprit was love and declared himself guilty.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?) Absolute cuddle bear. Like I’ve said before, he shows his love through physical touch. So yes, cuddles is a must. Specially before sleeping. I know for sure he loves to be the big spoon.. But I also feel that sometimes after a very bad day, he just wants to be held and never leave. Hugs, kisses, cuddling.. Those are things he would never say no to. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?) Insecure, but thinks about this a lot. He lived most of his life with Fukuzawa, and we’ve seen how he deals with trivial matters. It’s not that he doesn’t know, but he doesn’t want to disappoint you or make you think he’s useless for not knowing something everyone should. But yes, he does want to move in with you. Just afraid that you might see the real him and run away. Absolutely hates cleaning and cooking, but will try to put an effort for you. With a lot of whining of course, that’s just who he is..

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Unfortunately, too easy. Ranpo is, foremost, incredibly honest. If he has no feelings for you whatsoever, he’ll just say no and goodbye like it means nothing to him. If you did something that brought him to this moment, he’ll have a hard time doing it so. He’ll hesitate a little, but will talk with you very straight forward. Ranpo might feel sad for a few days, but he’ll recover quickly with all the help from the agency.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?) As weird as it looks, he’s really looking forward to it! But still a bit insecure. As mentioned, Ranpo is insecure about his s/o not loving him for who he is. He has a lot of personal issues to deal with and a bunch of mannerisms he can’t change. Marriage is not something that comes to his head very often, but everytime he pictures you in a white dress/suit, Ranpo just smiles alone at the thought. He still has no clue to how you did that to him, but that’s something he really wants. If you’re not into it, he won’t be sad or mad. He’ll handle that pretty easy, actually.  As long as you two live together, that’s fine by him.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?) Tends to be gentle most of the time, but sometimes he’s unintentionally rude. Since Ranpo’s so honest and sincere about everything, sometimes he’ll say things you won’t agree or that might even hurt you. It’s not on purpose, poor guy.. He’s just not used to handle people so close to him. The agency is used to it, but they’re friends for a long time. You’re his new partner, so you’re still getting used to certain things. If Ranpo realises he was rude, expect a very heartbreaking sight of him apologizing. You can almost feel the guilt in his voice. After a hug and a sweet kiss, he’ll get back to his old self. But he’ll try to make it up to you at any cost.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?) Hugger™. He LOVES to hug you, but you only. Ranpo doesn’t like people touching him too much, but his lover and Fukuzawa can do that anytime. You’ll get hugs from behind very often, no matter how tall or short you are, he’ll be there. Mostly at home, during cooking time.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?) The moment he realises what he feels. He just doesn’t know how to hide it. Of course, Ranpo knows you’re in love with him for some time. Will tease you a little, with no intentions of hurting you. But he never felt that before, this is a new feeling. “The mystery of my heart suddenly beating weird around y/n” is a real deal to him. Until one day, you two went out for ice cream and the sun just touched your face in a way he never saw before. The sunset was bright upon your skin, making your eyes shine even more. Ranpo was so mesmerized, so speechless (for the first time in years, perhaps), that the only thing he could say was what his heart told him to. “That’s it. I love you, that’s why my heart is feeling so happy around you, y/n! I should have known”. Like it was nothing. And continued walking, leaving you behind while you had the most shocked face of all time.. Like nothing had happened. Oh, Ranpo… You and your spontaneity.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?) Very jealous, but will never admit that. Ranpo will have that grumpy face, his arms folded and looking away. You’ll ask what’s wrong and he’ll just pout, whine, sigh, you name it. When asked if he’s jealous, he’ll look absolutely offended. “No! I don’t need to feel jealous! I don’t have that!”. Poor Ranpo if Dazai sees this scene. Will make fun of him and Ranpo will tell him to shut up and argue over that. You’ll have to make it up to him so he can forgive you for telling a guy on the street the directions to a station. How dare you give someone else attention?! But don’t worry. With candy and a lot of love, he’ll find his way to your arms again.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?) Slow, tender and sweet. Ranpo’s kiss is just like him: A little bit lazy, sloppy and very very sweet. The amount of sugar you can taste in his tongue is absurd, almost like you’ve licked a lollipop. He takes his time in kissing you to savour every second of the most tasty candy on Earth (that’s you and your lips, baby). He really enjoys kissing all of your face. But his favorite place is the crook of your neck, when he’s behind you during shower and just gives it a soft peck. Ranpo loves seeing you have goosebumps over that.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Acts just like one, so they get along well. If it’s your kids, he’ll be such a silly dad. Will avoid doing the boring stuff, like he says.. Changing diapers? No way. He’ll shower them since he thinks it’s really fun to splash water all over the bathroom. With other kids, Ranpo will give them some candy and have some fun. Don’t ask him to watch kids movies though, he’ll always say something that doesn’t make sense in the movie, and how inaccurate that is.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Lazy. Even if he was raised mostly by Fukuzawa that is totally an early bird, Ranpo hates to get up early. So if you two go to work together, expect a lot of whining from bed. “Five more minutes”, while pressing the pillow against his head to protect himself from the light coming from the window. He’ll get up, and drag his body across the house like a zombie. Ranpo loves the smell of your breakfast, though. The smell of your food and coffee in the room is the most wonderful dream he could have. Specially if you make pancakes, dorayaki or daifuku.  

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Depends a lot on the day. Ranpo is usually not affected by what happens at work, but depending on the case, sometimes he’ll think things over and get really serious about it. If it was a chill day, nothing weird or big happened, Ranpo will find something for you two to watch. It’s something he likes to do before going to bed: Watching a movie and trying to find out what’s the mystery behind it.. And well, he always get it right. But you love to watch him so happy with his discovery.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Once he feels he can trust you, he’ll open up his heart. He usually don’t talk about certain things with strangers. Fukuzawa, Yosano and Poe are the ones he likes the most and feels that he can trust fully in them. When you came to his life, he wasn’t sure yet if he could open up about his feelings on the world. It’s hard for him too see the things he sees. So, when you two got together, Ranpo spilled a lot of things that were on his mind after a make out session on the couch. Just felt right. How he saw the world and how he didn’t get people that killed others, how many monsters are out there and he sees right through them. You just caressed his hair over and over, trying to make him feel a bit at ease. Ranpo relaxed a lot after hearing you say “You’re safe with me”.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Short fuse, hates to be teased. This man loves to tease others and make fun of them, specially the cops and how much better than them he is. But try teasing him for anything, and he’ll get mad on the spot. If it’s you, he’ll get more sad than mad. Usually Mushitarou is the culprit to make him so mad, making him feel silly. And of course, our boy hates to lose this kind of game. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Ranpo remembers everything. He’s not good with daily things, but when it comes to you he remembers every single detail of your life. How many sugar cubes on your coffee, your favorite food, music, movie, play, game.. From the size of your clothes and shoes, to the most intimate thought you refuse to share. But, Ranpo being Ranpo, he knows. You’re his favorite person in the world, so expect to be surprised by a lot of things he says about you that you don’t remember telling him. He’s the world’s greatest detective, remember?

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) When you two solved a case together. Ranpo clearly loves spending time with you, even before you two got to date. One day, the officers called in to solve a very interesting case in the eyes of Ranpo. So, of course when you two got there, he already knew what happened. But, to your surprise, he asked what did you see. You could answer most of his question, which left him completely mesmerized. He never felt that before with anyone, not even with Dazai, who is the most smart man in the agency (after him, obviously).

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Trying to hide your relationship from the world. He is concerned most of the times, but Ranpo knows you can handle things yourself. Even so, he tries his best to keep your relationship as private as possible. Sometimes he’ll take you on a date, but on a secluded place like a rooftop or inside one of Poe’s novels. Poe is a very good friend to you two, and helps anytime he can, specially if Ranpo asks to keep you safe. During the cannibalism event, with what happened to Fukuzawa, he couldn’t possibly leave you out in the open. Poe did his best to hide you inside one of his favorite novels and keep you as safe as possible.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) It’s not a thing he’ll always remember, but he tries. Ranpo is not a man who’s into routine or other daily matters. His brain works too fast to remember certain things, such as cleaning or taking out the trash. Birthday and Anniversaries are included. But, he knows this is important to you.. So he’ll take notes on anniversary and other events that you might want to celebrate with him, to make sure he won’t forget so easily. Also, get ready to always have an amazing gift on those dates, because Ranpo knows everything that you like by memory. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) Trash Panda. It’s not that he leaves things on purpose, he really forgets. Since Ranpo eats a lot of candy, most of the times you’ll find a lot of candy bags and sweets around the house and in the office too. He just eats and leave it there, because he has more important stuff to do. You’ve asked him a million times not to forget those things, since insects can show up, and he’ll apologize and try to remember.. Except he doesn’t. Like, never. He tries, though.. Be patient.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Not much, just the basics. Ranpo always smells good and brush his hair perfectly, but it’s not like he has to change his wardrobe every week or go to the barber every ten days. Hygiene? On point. Fashion icon? Meh… You can drag him to go shopping though, he’ll give his honest opinion. But he won’t buy anything for himself, don’t expect too much when it comes to clothing. To perfume though.. Think about a men that has the most sweet scent, the smell of bubblegum or vanilla. The best thing is to wake up in the morning after he showered. It’s like you’re inside a caramel store. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Totally empty. He’s used to you so badly, that when you’re not around he’ll just forget everything. At first, might act like he doesn’t care. It’s nothing, after all. He lived without you before, sure as hell can do that now. But at the first moment he sees something he likes, he wants to share with you.. and you’re not there. Ranpo starts to feel that horrible feeling of emptiness and angst. Wherever you are, you need to get back soon before he starts to throw tantrums.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He loves puzzles. I know it’s weird.. The guy who doesn’t like daily stuff loves such easy things like puzzles? Yup, he does. When it comes to a case, he can see it clearly, every piece together. A puzzle is not just a matter of thinking, but attention too. So, since it’s something he can work his brain out and also spend some time with you, he learned to like it. And after a few times, he learned to love board games too. But he hates Cluedo.. To Ranpo, it doesn’t make any sense.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Someone who can’t keep up with him. Ranpo is not expecting someone who can match his wits, but at least someone who can understand him and the way he thinks. Poe is one of his great friends because he always put up a challenge, so if you can challenge him somehow or at least keep up with his thinking and the way he does things, he’ll be head over heels for you. He also hates someone who always scolds him. Ranpo knows he keeps forgetting to do normal stuff, he doesn’t want someone to do that to him all the time like Fukuzawa. He wants a partner that can understand his feelings.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Heavy sleeper. Lazy boy is lazy. Whenever he’s not in the agency or spending time with you and Poe, he’s sleeping. Even has a onesie and a dakimakura to be more comfortable. He even bought matching onesies for you two. And whenever he gets the chance, will drag you to take a nap with him. And he sleeps.. Expect for him to wake up only in the next day. Ranpo doesn’t even move from his spot.. He’s just laying there, hugging you and sleeping like there’s no tomorrow. But how could you say no to that cute little face?

[guacamoleroll]

— 𝖈𝖔𝖔𝖐𝖎𝖊𝖘 + 𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖕𝖔 ₊˚⊹

pairing: ranpo edogawa (bungou stray dogs) x gender-neutral!reader

content warning(s): baking cookies, ranpo is an asshole (affectionate), implied/referenced sexual content

would you like to see more? join the taglist or comment under this post!

"Hey, don't eat those!"

You had walked away from a bowl of freshly-made cookie dough for a maximum of two minutes, intent on fetching some baking spray for the pan, only to return to the world's best detective, Edogawa Ranpo, with his hand shoved inside the bowl, stuffing balls of raw dough into his mouth.

He swung his feet as he sat on the counter, eyes darting from you to the bowl like a man caught with his hand stuck in a cookie jar, the dough glued to his fingers despite his "discrete" attempts to flick it back into the bowl—but it was to no avail, you had caught him.

You ripped out some paper towels; your face pinched in a stern concentration that rivaled the detective's pseudo-father as you tried in vain to rescue your dish, only to admit defeat as you slumped down, knowing it would be best to restart the whole process.

"I cannot believe you," you grumbled.

He turned away, arms crossed. "Maybe if you had let me taste test the dough like I asked, you wouldn't have this problem."

"You little—!"

His mind glazed as he ignored the next words that spilled from your mouth, tapping his clean hand against the countertop before his emerald eyes peeked open as he focused in on other details. Your furrowed brows, gritted teeth, and puffed cheeks—a saccharinely adorable display set out for him, just as planned.

You yelped as his hand tugged at your chin, forcing you to stand between his legs, hands planted on either side of him as he kicked with a knowing smirk. Bits of dough dotted your jawline as his finger settled against your bottom lip.

"Wanna taste?"

ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ: @imhandicapableofmath @lovedazai @hauntedsol @ruru-kiss @ishqani @zyilas @lovesick-fairy @fedyascoffin @squigglewigglewoo @kelperspelt @miloofc @thesilvernight0wl @s1eepybunny @dazaisms @deepseafragments

© 𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 2023 — do not repost or modify my works for any reason. do not steal graphics w/o explicit permission. reblogs are appreciated.