#rediscovering a realisation that never really left

[neon-angels-system]

I'm having a Moment, huh?

[blockgamepirate]

Okay just to be clear

From Phil's perspective, Baghera is a grown ass adult woman with kids of her own

Of course he doesn't think she's serious about seeing him as a dad or a father figure or whatever, of course he thinks she's just kidding around

He doesn't know her backstory

It makes perfect sense for her, because of everything we know about her life and childhood and the fact that she never had a family and the way she reacted to rediscovering her past and the fact that she imprinted on Phil and Bolas in Purgatory and then afterwards spent months there being broken down mentally together with Cellbit, who is a very bad influence and was also already in a terrible mental state himself

But Phil doesn't know ANY of that shit

(Well he knows she was stuck in Purgatory but not really what happened to her and Cellbit after he left, also that's like the least important factor of this tbh, it's just the thing that made all of the preceding things worse and prevented her from having any chance to recover before getting out of there at least)

(To be fair yes he should realise that Baghera (and Cellbit) are not okay and need a lot of support right now, even just based on the few things he does know, but I think he's kinda bad at dealing with stuff like that because his own trauma response tends to be very... idk, emotionally dissociative? He'll be like wow that fucking sucked, anyway time to go back to preparing for the worst possible thing that could happen at all times forever, because no matter what we just went through something worse will always inevitably happen)

(And I think on some level he expects other adults to react the same way, because he sees permanent survival mode as the normal state of existence)

[engie-ivy]

When someone goes home to their small town for Christmas, it never bodes well for their career-focused, Christmas Spirit-lacking, big city boyfriend, but Sirius isn't going to give up that easily.

All I Want For Christmas Is YOU

All I Want For Christmas - Mariah Carey

Remus puts down his tea mug and looks up from his book as he hears the front door open.

His mum walks in, bundled up in her big coat, scarf and woollen hat, her face beaming and her cheeks rosy. Sirius follows behind her, looking decidedly less warm in his leather jacket, the tip of his nose red and his teeth clattering.

“Hullo love!” His mum greets Remus cheerfully, while taking off her hat and beginning to unwrap her scarf. “We just had so much fun at the Christmas tree farm, didn’t we, Sirius?”

Sirius bares his teeth, and it takes Remus a moment to realise it’s supposed to be a smile.

“You could actually dig out your tree yourself this year!” His mum continues. “Now of course we couldn’t resist, now could we, Sirius?”

“W-we sure c-couldn’t!” Sirius replies, attempting to sound excited, but not really succeeding due to the shivering in his voice.

“I’ll admit it was a bit chilly,” his mum says, which is an understatement considering Sirius’ half-frozen state. “But it was nothing a good cup of hot coco couldn’t fix, am I right, Sirius?”

“S-so true.”

His mum beams at Sirius, oblivious to his distress, then turns back to Remus. “Old man Prewett will deliver the tree later. We dug up a real beauty, Remus, you’ll see!”

“I’m sure I will,” Remus replies, eying Sirius, whose standing so stiff, probably due to the fact that he can barely move his frozen limbs.

“We just had such a lovely day!” His mum has finished taking off her coat, while Sirius is yet to move. “And Sirius is also going to help me prepare the roast for dinner later!”

“Is he now?” Remus says.

His mum happily pats Sirius’ cheek before skipping off to the kitchen.

“You’re a vegetarian,” Remus says to Sirius as soon as his mum is gone.

Sirius nods.

“Because you can’t take the sight of dead animals.”

Sirius nods again.

“And the only hot beverage you’re willing to drink is black coffee. You hate hot chocolate.”

“I sure do,” Sirius agrees.

“And last time I checked, you were allergic to pine trees. Which is why we never have a Christmas tree at home.”

Sirius sniffs and Remus notices his eyes are puffy. “I can confirm that I still am.”

Remus puts his book down and gets up from his chair. He walks over to Sirius and takes one of his hands in his, and starts rubbing the freezing cold hand trying to warm it up. “Love, what are you doing?”

“I’m embracing The Christmas Spirit!” Sirius says, attempting to sound excited.

Remus just gives him a look, and Sirius sighs. “Don’t you see, Remus? It’s me!”

“What’s you?”

“The designer clothes-wearing, career-focused city boy who doesn’t care much for Christmas.”

“So?”

“So?” Sirius repeats. “So they always get dumped before the final act!”

“Why would I dump you?” Remus asks. “And what ‘final act’?”

“It’s always the same,” Sirius says miserably. “The person,” he gestures at Remus. “goes home to their small town, where they rediscover their roots and The True Meaning of Christmas, and come to the conclusion that a work-obsessed city boy is the last thing they want. I have to embrace The Christmas Spirit if I want any chance at ever getting the guy!”

“You already have the guy!” Remus exclaims.

Sirius just smiles sadly. “They always do at first. But then you’ll meet the alluring stranger who took over your great-grandmother’s Christmas Cookie Bakery, whom you think you dislike at first, but also feel weirdly attracted to, or the handsome single dad who moved to town after his divorce with his perfect, adorable kid to help his father run the Christmas Tree Farm, or your high school crush who never left town because small town life is all he ever desired, and who you now find out always had a thing for you as well, and then I might get one final hug goodbye before I can kindly bugger off back to the city to live my sad, lonely, Christmas-less life.”

“Sweetheart,” Remus says. “Just how many Christmas movies have you watched?”

Sirius shrugs. “I wanted to be well-prepared for celebrating Christmas in a small town.”

“Okay,” Remus says, letting go of Sirius’ hand in favour of cupping his face between his hands. “Then let me make one thing very clear to you. I love that we have an excuse not to put up a Christmas tree every year, because honestly, it seems like a hell of a lot of work for just one day, I love it when you get all passionate about work, I love how ridiculously sexy you look in those designer clothes of yours, I love how smart, determined and ambitious you are, I love you. Okay? You. Just as the dramatic, slightly vain, overeager city boy you are.”

Sirius smiles. “I know. And I’m sorry. It’s just that before coming here, I never considered just from how different backgrounds we come, and I suddenly got really afraid of losing you. But that’s only because I love you. So much.”

“You’re such a sweetheart,” Remus says, and then he chuckles. “And don’t worry, you’re not getting rid of me that easy.”

“Hi, sorry to interrupt, but the door was open.”

Remus and Sirius both turn towards the door, where a tall, handsome man with reddish hair and a freckled face is standing, wearing working clothes and muddy boots.

“I’m here to deliver a Christmas tree for Hope Lupin, and I- Remus?”

“Fabian!”

Fabian laughs. “Oh my god, it really is you! I didn’t know you were in town! I haven’t seen you since... when has it been?”

“It must’ve been at our high school prom!”

“Right!” Fabian smiles. “Just before you left to follow your big city-dreams.”

Remus chuckles. “So did you! I thought you were in New York?”

“Nah,” Fabian shrugs. “Big city life really wasn’t for me. And I wanted to be closer to my family as well. I’m now helping da out at the Christmas Tree Farm, and I get to spend a lot of time with my nephews as well.”

Two red-headed heads peak out from behind Fabian’s leg. Both small boys stare at Remus wide-eyed, one of them clutching a stuffed dragon to his chest, the other with his thumb in his mouth. Fabian ruffles their hair. “This are Charlie and Bill, helping their uncle Fabian out for the day.”

“They’re adorable! Gideon’s?”

“Molly’s,” Fabian says. “She has a baby as well, and twins on the way! It’s amazing to be here to watch them grow up.”

Remus smiles softly. “So I reckon you never regretted your decision?”

“Not for a moment,” Fabian replies, looking down at Charlie and Bill. “Besides, I couldn’t let Gid become the favourite uncle, now could I?”

Remus laughs, shaking his head. “You haven’t changed at all!”

Fabian studies Remus for a moment. “You have. But in a good way. You look... great.”

There’s a moment of silence. Then Fabian looks away and scrapes his throat. “How long are you in town for?”

“Just for the Holidays, I’m afraid,” Remus replies.

“Well, we should definitely meet for a coffee and catch up!” Fabian suggests.

Sirius looks from Fabian to Remus and back to Fabian.

“No,” he says pointedly.

He walks up to Fabian, grabs his arm and starts walking him back to the front door. “No, absolutely not, not happening, no.”

Fabian looks stunned when Sirius deposits him on the front porch, where Charlie and Bill quickly join him, each grabbing a leg.

“I’m sorry, Fabian!” Remus calls from over Sirius’ shoulder, though unable to contain his laughter. “We’ll talk later and I’ll explain!” He manages to say right before Sirius closes the door in Fabian’s face.

“But first,” Remus says once the door is closed, pulling Sirius towards him by the lapels of his jacket. “I need to get it through to my idiotic boyfriend’s thick head that in my Christmas movie, he’s not a side-character.”

[zekeen]

NSFW Alphabet - Kataigyda & Astarion

Kinky NSFW Alphabet

Thanks @pinkberrytea and @bardic-inspo for tagging me ! :)

(Just to say, I'm neither a writer nor have I read a lot of fanfiction, so I'm doing this mostly freestyle, I just hope it's not too bad :S)

Ah also I've changed the pronouns I use, I realised I'm more confortable writing that way...

I don't really know who to tag on this one so @cryptidcryptic @pastel-starr-bitch and @astarionconsort :)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Although they're both not used to the concept, they try to be comforting to each other with reassuring words and are cuddling or kissing for as long as they feel the need to. And with the link that binds them together (I'm going forthe bride theory), they can feel how the other feels so it helps in case there's something wrong.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

She loves his eyes but he has to hold her face to keep her staring at them and his hands she loves to look at them and feel them on her.

He likes the whole region from her waist to her butt and he also grew to love her tail and the way it moves or wraps around him when she gets flustered :3

But he also just love to look at her face.

C = Cum (where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum)

They both like it in. She prefers it inside her, but when she can, she likes to swallow it as she enjoys being able to taste Astarion in any possible way.

As for him, he loves it as some kind of way of marking his territory and as a reminder to Kataigyda that she is his also that he left her satisfied with a bit of himself inside her.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

When they went in Raphael's boudoir and killed Haarlep, Astarion waited for the others to leave and took Haarlep's harness. He kept it hidden until the right moment to give it to Kat to wear. And after using it the first time, they almost never do without it after.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He (sadly) had a lot of experience as stated in the main story.

Meanwhile, she had very little past experience in her youth and doesn't really know what she's doing now. But she put herself in his hands to better know herself and what pleasures they'll both enjoy together.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

She likes when he's carrying her up in missionary or when she's sitting on him in the lotus position and hugging each other.

He doesn't really have a favorite but he also likes it when she's on top of him or alternatively doggy but anything's fine as long as he gets to kiss and bite her.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

In general they try to stay silly and not take themselves too seriously but sometimes, depending on what might have happened before, they can get more intense and emotional about it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

They're both hairless apart from the hair on both their heads so no carpet to match any drapes. And for their hair, there's not much change for him except if she put her hands in it. She often keeps her ponytail but she sometimes takes her hair down as he likes the way it looks on her.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

After a few bumps at first, they become very intimate and with their bond, they become open books to one another. They're very confortable and freely express anything they want or need from the other in those moments.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Since they're almost always together, they don't really need to anymore but it may happen once in a while to blow off steam.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Sensation play, they mainly like to play with food as a more playful way to make Astarion rediscover his own palate. Also biting, he has to bite her at least once.

For Kat they do the same but with his blood. At first he wouldn't let her bite him because she needed to control her own bloodlust for his blood, it also gives him a form of control over her; so as a habit she now prefers to lick it off of him, so he generally cuts himself and let some blood spill on his body before the cut heals, and then let's her lick it away.

(I didn't really know what to put there at first, so I did this test with what I HC as what they could like as kink and now that it's made, I thought I might as well add it here xD)

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Mostly on their bed, but sometimes if they get suddenly horny they can do it almost anywhere, they're not very discrimanating about it. Maybe outdoor would be their least favorite place though.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He takes pleasure in seeing her lose her self-controlled attitude and will keep teasing her until she can't think straight anymore.

For Kat what gets her going is getting to accompany him rediscover his sexuality and that she gets to start enjoying her own.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No humiliating or degrading words or acts and nothing non pleasurable for the both of them. She doesn't mind if he holds her neck but no chocking and no slapping her face. And he doesn't want to be given orders. (Also all the red dots on the kink test above)

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

They both like it equally, either to give or receive. Astarion's skills are irreproachable and Kat is not the best at first but he gives her a few tricks and after many attempts, she's getting the gist of it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

No particular preferences on that one. They like to play with it, and switch between the two, to get the most sensation possible.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

It doesn't happen often because she thinks he'd be annoyed and see her as needy if she asked for sex as often as she needs. It mainly amuses him but after a while, he makes it clear that he enjoys to be lusted after by her and that whenever they don't have the time for a longer session, they'll manage to find a quick moment to indulge in eachother.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

They're both willing to try new things, they got eternity after all, so they can try a bit of everything but they both got their own limits and if they don't like something, they just stop and do something they both like instead.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He is thriving and often she doesn't have his level of energy but when she drinks a bit from his blood, she gets a rush of stamina and can go on longer.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He's actually going to offer her a strap made especially for her to peg him :3

Otherwise they got a bit of everything available in Faerûn.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He very much likes to tease her, so outside their intercourse, he'll either briefly whisper in her ear what he wants to do to her or when they're having a boring conversation with other people, he will use their telepathic link to do the same in more graphic details and revels staring at her trying to keep a straight face while getting visibly horny. He also likes to make her shiver by tracing a finger down her back as he walks by her.

And during the act, they both like edging eachother and to tease through kisses and caresses.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She usually tries to keep herself from making too much noise but he loves to hear her moan his name and he knows the right button to push to get her there.

He's not especially loud in terms of volume but he likes to talk to her, to give her instructions or praise her and he will sometimes make little grunts in between rougher thrusts and when she's pleasuring him he'll make little moaning sounds.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

The first time they have sex after defeating the brain, Astarion feeds her his blood for the first time other than the drop he gave her the night he turned her. And he does so, by biting on his own thumb and making her drain blood from it. Since then, she has a kink for sucking his finger when he's fucking her.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Astarion is pretty good down there, otherwise I don't think he would joke about people saying that size doesn't matter xD

Kat has boobs a little smaller than the ones in the game otherwise she's naturally pale of skin and nothing else of note to say. She does have a great butt though.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

She used to have a pretty tamed sex drive, having sex wasn't unwelcomed but for example she didn't mind at all for the pause he confessed he needed. But after they got rid of the tadpoles, they both got a surge of libido due to the powers of the ritual. So at first she's annoyed by it as she doesn't like feeling needy for something towards him. On the other hand he doesn't mind and is amused by the situation and is just teasing her about it for his own fun.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

She's already really quick to fall asleep so when they do it at night, she falls asleep right after from the exhaustion. And as Astarion doesn't really sleep but meditates, he takes the habit to gaze at her for a while once she's sleeping and to caress her hair and once he gets tired, he falls into meditation.

[batbabydamian]

question- do you mind doing fic recs? And if so, do you have any good fics centered around Dick and Damian's relationship? In particular anything that plays with their whole "I'm your brother but also your father/son but not but yes" thing they've got going on? If you see this thank you, you're doing the lord's work <3

anon if you’re still out there, thank you for your patience and hope you enjoy these! there’s MANY Dick&Damian fics i love so i tried to limit it to the “im your brother AND kinda your dad but not really” dynamic!!

3:16 by partingxshot

The knife pushes thin along Dick’s carotid artery, cupping the indent between neck and jawline—forcing him to angle his chin. The metal is warm, pulled with execution speed from under Damian’s pillow. “Okay,” Dick says quietly, tracking the intricacies of his own heartbeat—counting the space between breaths. “Guess I did need a shave.” (With faltering steps, Dick and Damian become Batman and Robin.)

i think every Dick & Damian enthusiast has read this lol it may be ongoing but its latest chapter is left on a very satisfying end for an arc!! 

an endless road to rediscover by littlearrows

In the months before Mar'i is born, Dick and Damian take a cross-country road trip together.

if you enjoyed the Dick and Damian tension from Nightwing (2016) #16-20 you might like this! :’) encouraging everyone to read those issues tbh

to be human by newsical

None of his Gotham acquaintances look upon his old life favorably — this, Damian knows. Was his life not noble before? Damian feels like a waterboarded gnat, swirling towards a drain. Gently, as though he has not ripped out Damian’s stomach with his teeth, Alfred says, “Attempting to take his father’s place won’t work, Master Richard…” Their voices peter out, and the last thing Damian can hear is Richard huff and say something that sounds like, “No shit,” and he is alone. Somewhere, a clock ticks. Damian pictures it melting. (Dick and Damian over the years.)

lovely dive into Damian’s personal growth and his relationship with Dick!! reading the poem that inspired the fic, especially again after finishing the fic is a nice touch!

Do You Feel the Way My Past Aches? by fishfingersandjellybabies

Bruce finds a wayward Damian asleep on his couch. Dick then find them both. An unexpected conversation ensues.

a tender Bruce perspective on the dynamic! “Bruce thought back to watching them work, Dick the master of the spotlight and Damian his perfect shadow.” THEM

When You're The One Who's Loved by fishfingersandjellybabies

Damian doesn’t understand why Dick is so upset. Tim does, though.

SO SOFTT ykw just go thru all of this writer's Dick & Damian fics they just exude love and warmth!!

Tea for Two by StormLeviosa

Their apartment is full of smiles now. It is because of Pennyworth, he is sure. Damian did not realise how much he'd missed Pennyworth until he came back. He slotted into their little family like the puzzle piece you do not know is missing. It was pleasant, having a grandfather he did not need to fear, and Pennyworth was all that and more.

part of a series, but easily read as a standalone. they’ve given up the vigilante life and DOMESTIC DICK & DAMIAN + ALFRED!! WHOLESOME!! i also enjoy the other Damian installments of the series, fun explorations of his interests/skills like violin!! and animals (going to vet school!!)

Pop-tarts and orange juice by Ididloveyou_once

‘Do you ever wish that Father had actually died?’ ‘Never.’ And despite the vehemence with which Richard says the word, Damian thinks that he might be lying. But only because he hates himself for the truth. Or: Bruce has been back from the dead for three months. Damian doesn’t know how to feel. He does know that he misses his da- Richard. They talk about it… Sort of.

"He wants to tell him that nothing compares to being Robin at his side. To being Damian at his side." WAILING

The Weight of Legacy by DawnsEternalLight

Damian didn’t think. He didn’t have to, protecting Richard was instinct by now. Darting forward right into the arc of Crane’s scythe as it aimed for his partner’s neck was as familiar to him as breathing, etched into his DNA. For if he lost Richard again, how could he continue to exist?  The man was not only his firmest tie to Batman’s mantle, now that Father was home and clashing with Damian, but at some point during their partnership he had inexorably woven himself into Damian’s very being. Through training, and lessons, and quiet nights filled with ice cream. Patience and love–a thing Damian had not hoped to find here when he’d first set foot on American soil.  To lose Richard would be akin to losing a limb. And so Damian acted as if that were true. He wove protection of his mentor, Batman, sibling, into every action he took and refused to accept failure as an option.

"We Both Know You're The Last of the Graysons" as a fic prompt is wild...that panel never fails to make me cry... also, another writer with an abundance of fantastic Dick & Damian fics!!

Emergency Contact by DawnsEternalLight

Damian: Apologies for the intrusion into your day, Richard. I need you to pick me up from the gallery trip early, it seems I have been stabbed. Dick blinked down at the message then read it again. And again. His brain not quite processing the words staring up at him, backlit by the phone.

this ventures bit more into parent Dick Grayson, as in Damian explicitly calling Dick his dad at the end but it's a fun fic!! that preview always cracks me up LOL

The Stowaway by LittleLadybugs

There's a cat in the penthouse. Fortunately, Alfred has yet to find out. Now to keep it that way. OR Dick tries his best to parent Damian. Damian tries his best, period. They’re both a bit clumsy, but they’ve got the spirit. There might be a cat Meow ᓚᘏᗢ 💙💚

smiling and laughing through this whole fic THEY ARE SO SILLY I LOVE THEM

as love carries its strength, but not its labels by AlterHarpia

Bruce is on a trip beyond Earth’s Solar System for longer than he intended, making Dick and Damian fall into an old pattern. “I'm not Batman.” A mere reminder, perhaps, but when said to Damian it always sounds like an apology.

basically them putting into words their own funky lil dynamic!!

Let The Right One In by whaleofatime

Hot on the trail of Deadshot threatening mayhem in Japan, Dick and Damian find themselves going undercover as a father-son duo on House Hunters International. Deadshot won't be the only source of chaos in Tokyo this summer, and Dick's only a little apologetic.

okok kinda cheating here since they’re just undercover as dad and son lol BUT it’s such a fun read of the duo on a Japan trip (mission)!

the primacy of personal conscience by birdsofthesoul

"WHAT MAKES IAGO EVIL? some people ask. I never ask." — Joan Didion, Play It as It Lays Or: Dick, his family, and the moral morass of a wishing well.

cheating again bc plot not focused on Dick and Damian’s relationship, but it’s there! really enjoyed the characterizations and dynamics here!!

soft clocks by dustorange

Side effects of being revived by Lex Luthor may include amnesia, going undercover into a high-level espionage agency, not recognizing your family, fighting your family, and dealing with the emotional weight and guilt associated with encountering said family. Ask your doctor if being revived by Lex Luthor is right for you. (a.k.a. Dick has amnesia during his time at Spyral. The family grapples with finding out he's alive. Dick grapples with finding out he has a family. Inspired by this post by bigskydreaming.)

lol sorry another not focused on their relationship but!! came and stayed for the plot, then the Dick & Damian moments KNOCKED ME OUTT!!

[neurolady]

My current obsession is "Where is Crowley’s mind at!"

I know disaster puppy and all, he's definitely a mess (both of them are), but how is that gonna manifest!

Aziraphale's is going to suck it up! He's going to have to! He's just been marched into the lion's den and forced to leave his sheild on Earth. He probably won't have much space to process before being chucked into Heaven's machinations. His process is going to be about holding it together while trying to figure out what Heaven is up to? And as far as him understanding Crowley's decision, I don't think he has as far to go as Crowley does in understanding his!

Crowley, on the other hand, has got space to wallow. I mean, REALLY, just get all up in his feelings! There really is nothing keeping him afloat right now. We've seen him wallow before, but this might actually be worse. Of course, he was devastated when he thought Aziraphale was dead. That, however, definitely wasn't Aziraphale's choice. In Crowley's mind right now, Aziraphale chose Heaven over him. With the final outcome, pretty much the same (at least he likely believes there's a chance), he might never see Aziraphale again.

He's hit the trifecta Homeless, Jobless, Loveless! God has slammed him into rock bottom and is grinding his face in the dirt for fun!! As of right now, Crowley is that classic, nothing more to lose character. I'm fascinated with where Neil and John (and Terry from above) chose to have him start S3 emotionally. I guess it depends on how much time is going to have passed - days, weeks, months, or even years 😬. And where in the universe is he physically - London (Soho), somewhere else but still Earth, off Earth (Alpha Centurai) or Hell.

Here's what I'm hoping -

We need a meltdown of epic proportions!! It'd be great to see David break out those big emotional ("and I would like to spend...hmmmh"💔) acting chops here. BUT I'm thinking more GO comedy meltdown. London/UK wide blackout! Takes out a newly repaired Big Ben as he erupts driving past in Bentley! Demand outstrips supply for alcohol in the Soho/London area, causing the economy to crash or brawling on the streets! Something comically absurd and big enough that it might just get Hell's attention.... see where I'm going?!

But after his meltdown(s) and obligatory self-destructive period, because of course there will be! There's not a chance there won't be. We mere mortals fall to pieces after relationships of measly months fall apart, we are talking 6000 years here!! BUT after this, I want to see the nameless fallen angel, who redefined himself as Crawly, who redefined himself as Crowley and then finally as Anthony J Crowley show that same level of resilience. I want him to figure out what 'his side' now means to him, even if he can only be an 'us' in memory (because may be at this point he still belives Aziraphale is lost to him for ever). I want him to decide why he wants to be on Earth for himself, so that he wants to protect it just as much as Aziraphale, not just BECAUSE of Aziraphale. So he understands why Aziraphale could and would never be happy if they had just left Earth to Armageddon and run off together. Perhaps this is all facilitated by him being on the run from Heaven, trying to get rid of him before Aziraphale finds out. Encountering the kindness of strangers. Rediscovering the demon who designed the M25, who was an infamous bootlegger in WW2 or a Black Knight in medieval times. Because let's face it by S2, it looks as though he's abandoned all that and just settled into "married" life.

But he can't be on the run forever realises his best protection is Hell and Anthony J, the cunning demon that he is, approaches them. Convinces them he's sick of Earth, done with backstabbing angels for good and (not actually a complete lie) knows all about Heaven's plan for the next Armageddon. Hugely comical meltdown (I like the idea of Big Ben burning 😂), plus maybe a few mishaps here and there to protect himself along the way, means they lap it all up! Crowley, however, by now, having recovered himself mostly (he'll never be totally whole without his yang), has realised the best way back to Aziraphale is also through Hell, giving him even more hope. As a by-product, maybe a realisation that Aziraphale was never rejecting him, but trying to protect him in the only way he knew how. Now we have double agent Duke Of Hell Crowley, but he actually wants to protect Earth and humanity for himself as well as so he and Aziraphale can make their home here properly (*cough* *cough* the South Downs enters the chat - you never know maybe discovered a nice little retreat while on the run).

Kick off S3, or may be we're a few episodes in already?!

I'll embrace my masochism, I don't think it would be at all true to them or him if he just bounced back, so I want to see that grief from him. A comical meltdown is a must for me, personally. But I think a note of seriousness within there would be beautiful. We are, after all, in David Tennant's safe hands. My main point is that I would be hugely disappointed if that is all we see. Crowley just drunk in Bentley doing nothing until Aziraphale turns up to drag him out of his stuppor. He's SO much better than that!

As a bonus to Duke of Hell Crowley, Aziraphale will know none of this having been kept completely in the dark by Heaven. So that when Hell proudly announces their newest Duke is Crowley, he is rapt with anxiety that he's pushed him over the edge and lost him forever! Until their first meeting, negotiations between Heaven and Hell about how they will ensure Armageddon actually gets going this time. Midway through, Aziraphale in a total panic at this point, Crowley casually growls at one of his minions to "get outside and stop that blasted Nightingale from singing outside the window, it's too bloody distracting", before continuing with the plan to start a nuclear winter.

[kylieswift31]

My. Space.

"Cooler in theory,

but not if you force it to be"

‘Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno’ is a phrase more commonly known as ‘all for one and one for all’. It has long been associated with the tale of the three musketeers and is the unofficial motto of Switzerland.

This concept epitomises the sense of solidarity that can be reached when the individual acts in favour of the group and the group acts in favour of the individuals.

While this sounds promising in theory for the majority, in reality it can create a trap of self enforced conformity for the minority.

Most of us in this minority inherently drift apart from the majority due to a deeply rooted feeling that we don’t belong in some way. Often times learning ways to hide the parts of ourselves that are frowned upon by the collective as we float around on the periphery.

And it can take years to discover the correct language to use that accurately describes our experiences. What comes next is often not within our control as we’re forced to coexist with those who disapprove of our truth and lack of conformity.

“Maybe I'm losing my mind, but it feels like the whole world revolves around me somehow.” -Truman

In the Truman show ‘unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno’ is proudly displayed as the motto for the town of Seahaven, but it’s really just an ever-present subliminal message to reinforce Truman’s contribution to benefit the collective.

The director of the show was clouded by his desire to create something good to share with the world. Yet this inspirational message was never supposed to be used as a threat or an excuse for one person to carry the weight of the collective all alone.

That turns into ‘one for all’. Full stop. It was the realisation that the pressure to conform by giving more and more of himself to entertain the masses was a never ending cycle that ultimately became Truman’s tipping point and what finally motivated him to leave.

“So tell me everything is not about me. Butwhat if it is?” -Taylor

This experience is not unique to Truman’s fictional character. It’s actually a fine line that many of us face in our own ways. And it’s this prior experience that allows so many of us to see the same type of pain in Taylor being reflected back at us.

The key to overcoming this imbalance between the ‘all for one and one for all’ is rediscovering community. We often begin with a jumble of stories collected along the way that morph into a label. And it’s this label that allows us to find our people, to find where we belong.

The evolution of the internet and social media created online spaces that allowed many of us to coexist in communities where the minority suddenly became the majority. MySpace in particular encouraged everyone to personalise their page to create a reflection of themselves.

With the rise of other platforms, conformity gradually took over and individuality was slowly left behind. Regardless of how big or small a group becomes, uniformity amongst the majority seems to be the goal.

The Taylor Swift fandom isn’t immune to this either. We’ve all centred Taylor in our own versions of ‘all for one and one for all’ but have branched out to create varying subsections that fall under the swiftie or gaylor umbrella.

When all of these variations overlap and mingle together it creates a never ending Venn diagram, and it’s that same overlap that feels both communal and isolating all at once. The sweet spot lies with finding a balance between valuing unity and individuality.

I myself fall into the gaylor, idgaflor, performanceartlor and thetrumanshowlor communities. I also view Taylor’s story through a female, queer, neurodivergent and chronic illness lens. The combination of these facets is what makes my interpretations unique.

I’d love to invite you to consider where you fit into the community. What makes your point of view unique? The more we can recognise and celebrate the diversity within the gaylor community, the more united we will all feel in preparation for the turbulent times ahead.

When Taylor invited us to go down the rabbit hole with her I never expected to discover, let alone join in with, this amazing community. I love each and every one of you for being here. Wether you’ve inspired thoughtful conversations, made me laugh or just liked my posts, thank you 🫶🏼

‘Unus pro omnibus, omnes pro uno’

A tortured poet,

Kylie x

[celaenaeiln]

(catches me rummaging through the trash like a raccoon)

Tell me once again, I could have been anyone, anyone else

Before you made the choice for me (The vigilante bit was always Dick’s idea. But Nightwing was born from Bruce ripping Robin away from him.)

My feet knew the path

We walked in the dark, in the dark (the darkness surrounded both Dick and Bruce. it’s a familiar friend to them both)

I never gave a single thought to where it might lead (He was a child. How could Dick know what would happen to him in the future?)

All those empty rooms

We could have been anywhere, anywhere else (they could’ve been a functional family)

Instead I made a bed with apathy (“After the realisation of being used and shaped to become what the other person wanted, they’ve simply been resigned to where they ended up. Apathy.”)

My heart knew the weight

Ten years' worth of dust and neglect (Bruce was his dad… but did it really feel like it?)

We made our peace with weariness and let it be (but Dick, ever hopeful, lives on. hope masks his exhaustion.)

The moon will sing a song for me

I loved you like the sun

Bore the shadows that you made

With no light of my own

I shine only with the light you give me

(in my mind, i see it going both ways. early in life, it was Batman and Robin. they were so codependent of each other, they were basically one entity. Bruce could not stay afloat without Dick. Robin wasn’t able to shine without Batman. their relationship is borderline, mayhaps even truly, toxic. but neither can let go.)

Name your courage now

We could have had anything, anything else

Instead you hoarded all that's left of me (“These lines seem to indicate that the parent/partner/other person in the relationship with the singer was a control freak, perhaps even afraid of losing the singer. Instead, they resorted to manipulation to prevent this from happening.” well, do I need to explain?)

Swallowing your doubt

Like swords to the pit of my belly

I want to feel the fire that you kept from me (Dick, as Robin, wanted to rediscover himself with the Titans. without Bruce. Bruce wouldn’t let him.)

(jumps into the sewer grate and disappears)

*comes out with a leash only to glimpse a blur jumping into the sewer grate so ties up hair and starts climbing down, gagging all the way at the smell because my love for you will not be dulled by the scent of sewage*

The Moon Will Sing by The Crane Wives

I'm huge into songs with cadence because they're really addicting to listen to so when I started reading this, I could feel a rhythm so I thought I might like it. I was right!

Tell me once again, I could have been anyone, anyone else

This fits into the Oldest Daughter Syndrome post I wrote about where Dick on some level feels a sort of resentment towards Bruce. He loves him but the hurt from taking care of him when he could have been enjoying his childhood as much as teen vigilante can still lingers.

Before you made the choice for me (The vigilante bit was always Dick’s idea. But Nightwing was born from Bruce ripping Robin away from him.)

My feet knew the path

When he left he didn't know where to go or what to do but he knew what he wanted to be - a hero worthy of his own stage. And he knew subconsciously what needed to be done.

We walked in the dark, in the dark (the darkness surrounded both Dick and Bruce. it’s a familiar friend to them both)

All those nights patrolling together, laughing together, making the memories of a lifetime in a clouded gotham sky at twilight. They toured Gotham, flying through every crevices and warehouse over the years because they knew Gotham like the back of their hand.

I never gave a single thought to where it might lead (He was a child. How could Dick know what would happen to him in the future?)

Nightwing (1996) Issue #75

source: also @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 because thank you so much for finding it because I spent a week looking for this 😭

He really didn't know. They both didn't.

All those empty rooms

this post. I often think of A Million Dreams song from the Greatest Showman because it's kinda portrayal of Dick's mindset as Robin and Nightwing. But there's one stanza that sticks out in particular in connection with this: There's a house we can build Every room inside is filled With things from far away The special things I compile Each one there to make you smile On a rainy day

And each time it just reminds me of how in the Golden Ages Dick and Bruce used to collect memorandum of their adventures together. And both of them look over it all and reminisce canonically. But Dick was the one who moved out, and I mentioned in my B&D relationship post long ago but Bruce literally sulks in a cave filled with adventures of their time together. When Dick leaves for college, Bruce actually shuts down the batcave and leaves the manor to settle in a new place to go on a journey of self-discovery to find himself anew/become more modern.

Batman (1940) Issue #217

We could have been anywhere, anywhere else (they could’ve been a functional family)

Instead I made a bed with apathy (“After the realisation of being used and shaped to become what the other person wanted, they’ve simply been resigned to where they ended up. Apathy.”)

Also how Bruce tried to kill his emotions are Dick left him behind so he wouldn't feel sorrow that he's gone.

My heart knew the weight

They both cried about each other leaving. Dick when Bruce fired him and Bruce when Dick left for college.

Batman (1940) Issue #217

Ten years' worth of dust and neglect (Bruce was his dad… but did it really feel like it?)

We made our peace with weariness and let it be (but Dick, ever hopeful, lives on. hope masks his exhaustion.)

The moon will sing a song for me

I loved you like the sun

Bore the shadows that you made

With no light of my own

Nightwing (1999) Issue #99

I shine only with the light you give me

(in my mind, i see it going both ways. early in life, it was Batman and Robin. they were so codependent of each other, they were basically one entity. Bruce could not stay afloat without Dick. Robin wasn’t able to shine without Batman. their relationship is borderline, mayhaps even truly, toxic. but neither can let go.)

Yes, that's canon.

Detective Comics (2016) Issue #1074

Name your courage now

We could have had anything, anything else

Batman vs Robin Issue #3

Instead you hoarded all that's left of me (“These lines seem to indicate that the parent/partner/other person in the relationship with the singer was a control freak, perhaps even afraid of losing the singer. Instead, they resorted to manipulation to prevent this from happening.” well, do I need to explain?)

There's just so many examples to give of this

Swallowing your doubt

Like swords to the pit of my belly

Batman vs Robin Issue #3

Quite on the nose actually. Or should I say sword.

I want to feel the fire that you kept from me (Dick, as Robin, wanted to rediscover himself with the Titans. without Bruce. Bruce wouldn’t let him.)

Teen Titans: Year One Issue #6

[nabwastaken]

You see the way I'd make a Minecraft movie is have it be set in the real world and the main characters are a bunch of really obnoxious streamers. Like just some of the most annoying and immature people you'll ever meet and the movie never tries to hide it. And they're like that because they're young and impressionable and some of them aren't even adults yet. The annoying streamers all play together on some SMP with a really incoherent story line that also kind of makes sense at the same time and can also be kind of good sometimes. And it gets big. Real big.

And these streamers are just young adults who make some really really shitty decisions as their fame and the SMP grows.

The first act is mainly comprised of bits of them playing minecraft and bantering together, with some 'real world parts' too.

It starts out on a scene with our main protagonist just messing around with his friend and just playing minecraft and being happy, because they're just kids. It's clear they're just having fun and not caring much about their (at the time small) viewerbase that much.

Main protagonist has loved minecraft since he was a little kid and is clearly a very skilled builder and thrives here. He's an expert on everything there is to know about the game and clearly enjoys it and has a passion. There's a small montage of the main cast (but mostly protag) just playing the game and it eventually ending with them slaying the ender dragon.

There's small seeds of a 'plot' growing with a rivalry between main character and some other guy, but it's left ignored for now.

But as the server continues to grow and the in universe story gets progressively gets more serious, the main protagonist is forced to step into a role as the 'leader' of the server.

It turns into WAY more then just typical minecraft.

But then suddenly one of the main characters is nowhere to be found. The protag and the others don't acknowledge it and the 'story' is retconned.

The latter half of the movie has protagonist get a lot older and eventually turns 18 in a rather bittersweet moment. We finally switch from just the minecraft bits to more and more real world, until the entire movie is practically just live action.

And Main protagonist handles more and more stuff that the entire purpose of the server and game, having fun, is just an afterthought. Until he eventually realises he doesn't enjoy this anymore and quits.

A while passes before he picks up the game again, and quickly rediscovers his love for the game. He laughs as he kills the mobs. He builds the most ridiculous things. He's... he's having fun again.

And that's what it's all about.

[seaweedroll]

Her dearest friend. Part 3.

A/N: Things are getting steamy in King Landing! Y/N is exploring her awakening sexuality and Aemond is there to show her things. I feel so bad for Aegon so I will have to make him to something really bad in the next chapter or else!

The next day the rain came and with the shift of the weather, the mood in the Red Keep shifted. Joy and excitement were replaced by strange uneasiness, anticipation hung heavy in the air.

Y/N caught a cold after her night swim. She did not leave her room for three days and refused to see anyone even her father. People at court worried what had happened to the little flower.

Ayeden Stark knew that his daughter was struck by melancholy after their conversation. He did not expect such reaction to his words and that worried him even more. What if she realised that she too has feelings for the Targaryen boys? What if Aemond demands her hand? She will become green ally when the Starks swore to Princess Rhaenyra. She would betray her family and put herself in a terrible danger. If she married Tyland Lannister, she would be sent to Casterly Rock, an impenetrable fortress where she would be guarded by the finest soldiers. High Garden was an option too. Yes, High Garden. He must send a raven at once.

Aegon sank back into his cups and went galivanting to the most deprived and perverted parts of King’s Landing. Perhaps if he drank enough, he would be able to forget seeing Y/N kissing his brother, his hands on her almost naked body, him following her back to the castle. Aegon wanted to ask her, get on his knees, and beg to tell him that that kiss meant nothing, and he was the one for her not his baby brother. But she was hiding in her room, torturing him by depriving him of seeing her, talking to her so he settled for fucking whores that resembled her.

Aemond was losing sleep. He did not expect her to reciprocate his feeling so quickly; he was ready for months of courting, of making her fall in love with him to the point the thought of them being apart physically hurt. But she said she needed him, her words like music to her and so he would do everything to get her.

The prince knew Y/N father was planning to betroth her to the pompous Lannister lord so he had to act fast.

‘Mother, can I speak with you?’ silver haired prince entered Queen’s chambers.

‘What is it, Aemond?’ she gave him a small smile.

‘I came to ask for you support. I intend to ask for lady Y/N’s hand’ his words were firm.

‘She is a lovely lady’ Alicent approached her son. ‘I know you two are good friends’ she gave him a knowing smile, ‘but I would ask you to wait for a little longer. We need Lord Stark’s full attention to the state matters. I will make sure Lord Lannister keeps his distance’ she spoke before Aemond could argue. ‘You have my word, my dear son’.

The conversation with his mother gave him hope. As much as he wanted to demand Y/N to be married to him straight away, Aemond understood how difficult the political climate was at the moment. He would never deliberately do anything to put his family at risk or make a move that could cause war. Many thought Aemond would be a better king than Aegon and that was the truth.

On the fourth day, Y/N finally left her chambers and went for a wander around the castle, rediscovering nooks, and crannies she explored as a child. She was calmer now; her dreams were less vivid than three days ago. The dreams that made her folds glister, her hands explore her body only to wake up moaning, screaming Aemond’s name. In her dreams he would rip off her dress take her on his desk, against the wall in the dark hallways, on the throne where everyone watched. Surely, it was due to her fever. Proper ladies could never dream of such things otherwise.

As she approached west wing, she heard loud voices arguing and a hard slap of hand against the skin.

‘You are no son of mine’ Alicent’s word were harsh as she turned on her heel and left Aegon chambers, not noticing Y/N hiding behind the pillar. In the chamber she heard Aegon weep, so she rushed towards him without a second thought.

Under the silk covers, a white hair prince sobbed, his beautiful features twisted by deep pain, that slowly ate his soul away. There was no hope for him, no mercy of the Seven. He wished to die right then and there until he felt a feather like touch brushing off unruly curls off his face. Aegon looked up and saw Y/N, her eyes soft with worry.

‘Y/N? What are you doing here?’ he blinked the tears away.

‘I heard screaming…’ she wouldn’t dare to look at him. ‘Aegon, I heard what your mother said. She didn’t mean it. We all say things we don’t mean when we get angry’ she stroked his hair trying to convince him.

‘But she did’ he laughed bitterly, sitting up. ‘She wishes for Aemond to be the king. He is a better warrior; a better scholar - he has read every book in the library. That little fucker is trying to take away you too’ he spat his distaste for his younger brother. ‘Everyone in my family hates me’.

‘They don’t hate you, Aegon. But you make it hard to like you when you only show them your dark side. If they knew the Aegon I know…’

‘They would still hate me’ he got up, his naked frame making Y/N blush and cover her eyes.

‘I must go’ she tried to leave whilst still covering her eyes.

‘I’m decent’ he laughed as Y/N bumped into his chest covered by a night shirt. Instantly, he pulled her into a loving embrace, savouring the moment. ‘You look adorable when you blush’ he cupped her face and made her look up.

‘I need to go. I cannot be seen in your chambers’ she tried to pull away, but his grip was strong.

‘I wish you would stay. Forever’ Aegon smiled and leaned in to kiss her. He poured all his love and devotion into it, a prayer to the goddess of love. Alas, she rejected him, her delicate hands shoving him off her and eyes shooting daggers at her.

‘You must never do that again. You’re married to Helaena. She doesn’t deserve such betrayal’ Y/N warned him and rushed out, cursing her for not listening to her father.

Aegon didn’t try to stop her. He touched his lips, trying to imprint the feeling of her lips forever. And then something snapped in him – a memory of one kiss won’t be enough. He needed more and more in other ways. Y/N like any Stark had high morals and unbreakable loyalty to people she cared. Good thing that Aegon didn’t have any morals and as a crown prince he was used to getting what he wanted. And he would stop at nothing until he did.

A week or so has passed before Y/N was fully immersed in court things again. She spent a lot of time with young ladies giggling and gossiping about eligible men they wanted to marry.

‘I want lord Baratheon to make me his lady wife. Oh, just imagine those strong arms holding you close’ lady Jeyne jokingly wrapped her arms around herself.

‘But he is a brute that can barely read?’ Y/N raised her eyebrow.

‘I don’t think we would be reading much anyway’ Jeyne winked at her.

‘I would want someone intelligent, like my father’ Y/N took a sip from her cup. ‘Someone who’s interested in books, philosophy. A scholar’ she pondered.

‘Prince Aemond is a scholar. Rumour has it he’s read every book in the library’ Leyane hinted casually looking to coax out a response from Y/N.

‘But he is hideous! That scar!’ Jeyne couldn’t hide her disgust.

‘That’s your prince you’re talking about’ Y/N warned.

‘But you wish he was your prince’ Leyane teased.

‘Why not?’ Y/N admitted casually, annoyed by their obvious attempts to get something they could gossip about later. ‘He’s tall and handsome. And could take any of your dream boys down. And he can read’ Y/N teased.

‘But does he know you to kiss you there? Make you feel so good’ Anysa, the quietest of the group finally spoke.

‘Anysa! You cannot lay with a man before you’re married!’

‘You said anything about laying’ the dark-haired lady smirked.

‘But how would y…’ Y/N was interrupted by a Septa summoning young ladies back to the castle. Y/N excused herself to wander around the gardens and think about those special kisses Anysa mentioned.

Lost in her thoughts, she bumped into someone’s firm chest. Of course, it was Aemond. He would always appear whenever she was having impure thoughts, perhaps, as a test from the gods.

‘What are you doing here?’ she blurted, slightly inebriated from the Dornish wine.

‘Oh I was just… reading’ he smirked. ‘And why are you wandering the gardens alone, my lady?’

‘Fresh air helps me think’.

‘Hmm’ he smirked again. ‘What were you thinking about, my beauty?’

‘About the special kisses…down there’ she whispered her dirty secret to her prince who was taken aback by her forwardness. Oh, she truly was a test from gods to see how far his impure thoughts would take him. ‘Can you tell me about them, my prince?’ she blushed.

‘I can show you, my lady’ he leaned in to kiss her. ‘Let’s find somewhere more private’ he took her hand, and she gladly followed him.

Tagging my hoes down bellow. Thank you for your support I hope your pillows are always cold and your dreams are always sexy <3 @moonmaiden1996 @lugiastark @sweetashoneyhoney @discowizard88 @simpsrus00 @m00n5t0n3 @rainy-day-lady @linkpk88 @dangerousbluebirdpoetry @verycollectivecreator @rosaryos @hhjhbhh

[wallpaper-inside-my-heart]

As a fellow smosh and taylor swift enjoyer, idk if you've had any thoughts on Labyrinth but gosh after the letter, it really hit me as Anthony coded. Especially with "I'll be getting over you my whole life" and "Lost in the labyrinth of my mind" like our boy was thinking and pondering for literal years

Yay! I’m always happy to meet more swifties in the ianthony fandom! 💗

And Labyrinth is a great pick!

I think I can honestly see a lot of the lyrics applying to both of them

Let’s start with the verses:

"It only hurts this much right now"

Was what I was thinkin' the whole time

Breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out

I'll be gettin' over you my whole life

→ I honestly cannot decide who these lyrics apply more to

→ Like on the one hand i agree that it sounds a lot like Anthony

→ like while he was making the decision to leave; when he asked Ian to come with him and then again after he actually made the cut and left smosh (and Ian) behind him

→ like reassuring himself that it might hurt, but it’s the right thing to do for himself even if he still mourns the loss of their friendship

→ but I also feel like it relates a lot to Ian post their split, especially once he realised that Anthony really didn’t want anything to do with him anymore

It only feels this raw right now

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Break up, break free, break through, break down

You would break your back to make me break a smile

→ Yeah, this verse is so Anthony-coded, especially with the labyrinth part that you mentioned

→ and the “break up/free/through/down” describes his journey during that time so well!

→ but also that last line feels so accurate to their dynamic → like we can see how easily Ian can make Anthony genuinely laugh in recent videos and how heartbreaking it must have been to loose that sort of ease back then

You know how much I hate

That everybody just expects me to bounce back

Just like that

→ and this pre-chorus just screams Ian to me

→ like how lost and pressured he felt when Anthony left

→ and how much he mourned the fact that he never really found another person he could bounce his ideas off as well as he did with Anthony

→ and also bringing in the defy drama and in general a lot of ppl disliking the way the channel developed after the split

but then we have the chorus:

Oh no, I'm fallin' in love again

I thought the plane was goin' down

How'd you turn it right around?

→ of course the “falling in love” part is very romance coded and whether that’s someones cup of tea or not, I think it could also be argued that they fell back in love with eachother in a platonic way

→ like just rediscovering the joy they once felt with eachother

→ the part of themselves that they believed was lost for good over time

-> only to be proven wrong and seeing it all turned back around (through both of their hard work on themselves) to them reuniting and making stuff for their channel in their own way again

Hope you liked my added comments!

I love when ppl send me their own lyric/song ideas for pairings since it's literally one of my favourite things to delve into!

[faithfromanewperspective]

It seems like no coincidence that you sent me an ask right after I had a brooding session that led to me wanting to send you an ask. Here we are 🤭

Mine's unrelated to music and chronic illness though: I wanted to get your view on what being Australian is to you. Who are we? What are we? I've been having this identity crisis all my life because my ancestors are immigrants from everywhere, with different cultures, and I feel like I don't belong here despite how the land has also shaped me into who I am.

Sometimes I think at the core of the culture of Australia is loneliness/isolation and I also wanted to know your take on that too.

Hope you're well, lovely 💛💛💛

ooh. wow. hmm. i'm... not doing great as you can probably tell by the time at which i'm posting this. but i surprisingly have a lot of thoughts about this.

for me, it's a connection to one of the oldest lands there is--i've studied a lot of geology, i've had to for my degree, and because of the lack of volcanic activity for so long our land, everything about it, is real old, and that's something i have a lot of respect and reverence for. i've also been drawn to Indigenous culture and Indigenous land stewardship for the longest time: the community, the spirituality, the sense of survival and justice, the shared resources, the storytelling, the art, the connection to the land. i'm not the least bit indigenous to anywhere really so i don't really know why, but you've made me realise something writing this, i should start to go seek that out a bit more and find community and stuff in it, it might be part of what i'm longing for.

diversity and a loss and reconstruction of identity is i also think part of it too. we are so diverse, aussies are from everywhere, from those who were born to a long line of stewards of this great land, to all those who came to it from everywhere: all parts of europe, asia, new zealand--everyone's family has a story of how they came here and why, of a brand new start for one generation, and everyone after having to go through putting together the fragments and figuring out who they are, reinventing it as they face new things compared to what any of their ancestors ever have. in a way it's about deciding again and again to rediscover your home culture/s and figure out how to fit them into a context of diversity, find your people or bring a new tradition to your people, but also take tradition lightly in terms of it has to fit around survival in harsh conditions, it always does, practical comes first which I'll get into but i'd say part of it is navigating the patchwork of cultures and realising yours is never going to be everyone but also no one can take it away from you, realising that because they try, but ultimately no one who does that will ever succeed. not even the colonisers who generations down have made us forget a lot of our Indigenous culture and feel empty as a result; if you're here on this land you've got some responsibility to care for it and every generation longs for something we don't quite have: this is where it's so useful to have other cultures around, because we need to learn from each other. we do so much better when we do. (alternatively, say you grew up in sydney without saying you grew up in sydney. it's a whole world there if you haven't experienced it).

but I would say that not only loneliness and isolation but also loss of identity are core to being Australian. questioning it and finding it again, being nothing like you ever imagined. there's a lot of generational trauma written into this land that's going to take quite a while to recover. we've all left it behind in the past, we've more often than not experienced some degree of violence in doing that be it from colonisation and the way the cities we have now (aussies are drawn to cities, the stats show us as one of the most urbanised places in the world, no matter what the stereotypes are) being Not Born Of Indigenous Input to violence of poverty and being driven to crime then shipped halfway across the world away from loved ones, to violence of displacement from other lands from poverty or war or overpopulation. we're all kind of unmoored even though many don't ever show it, we're all coming from a place of having lost that deep connection to self and either trying to find it or not bothering and I think it does really show in the way we connect to each other, the way we connect to the land, the misunderstanding and exploitation and often trying to be something we're not.

but i'd also say our strength is in our survival. we're good at coming together in natural disasters, we're often really creative when it comes to getting by, we're hard working, we know we're entitled to nothing. it comes when you've lived in conditions like ours: poor soil, harsh weather--be it drought or too much rain, we've been there, we've seen it, every year and every season is like we jump to a different climate zone, our agriculture isn't suited to our climate or our soil and our cities aren't planned but we get by anyway. we're hardworking and humble and when you put an aussie in another country and another setting you really see that. and we do it like it's nothing and still think it's nothing and don't understand compliments on it, we're self-deprecating like that. survival happens if we all do well enough to get by, independence leads to interdependence, and as a result we don't like people who take too much and we want those who are struggling to succeed. we aren't all like that, sure, but you see someone trying to get ahead and getting up themselves because of it? they won't last long as an aussie. community can and will ostracise them and no one's gonna feel bad. we hate our politicians but we have them anyway. we don't let them get too big-headed, we know they will, we have artists specifically employed to make fun of them. we're not perfect at this but they're older white men (problem) we don't feel bad about bullying them even if it'd be more productive to have a diverse group of people--but then we might actually feel bad about bullying them so that won't do. politics are for show anyway to get along with other countries. aussies don't care about anything we can't see with our own eyes and touch with our own hands, preferably holding a shovel or too-big set of tongs. 'she'll be right, mate' we say but really we just don't want to deal with it. why would we when getting by for ourselves is hard enough? don't talk about abstract concepts. but behind the survival if you break into that part of our minds that longs to be seen and cared for, you might have gotten our attention even though we will never admit that kind of vulnerability (it's why so many of us find western models of therapy etc so confusing. we're hardened folk)

there's a lot of negative but we kind of live with it i guess? we don't pretend it isn't the case. and sometimes we do something good. aussies invented permaculture, for example. i'm sure there are other things right there but i can't call them to mind right now. do you know what permaculture is? go have a look into it. it's one of my favourite things. in a more academic sense we invented water sensitive urban design and biodiversity sensitive urban design as well. and we needed to from a place of survival. it's the beauty of it, it's authentic and when it's there on the ground we can touch it so it's real and other countries can then see what we do and implement it themselves. with these things having popped up in recent years i think we're in a stage of transition as a nation, we're still a patchwork of confused cultural threads trying and failing at being european with our education and agriculture models--we haven't grown into ourselves yet. we haven't realised the potential of all the cultures we have to inspire something better. we still get a bit scared of each other. we still haven't figured out who we are--and personally, looking back at my family, generations of immigrants whose children become immigrants to somewhere else, i feel like there is a lot to discover that i have no idea how to find. how to internalise. my ancestors come from all over the world, and no one has had to pull together such a diverse range of ancestral and found cultural influences until me (i should give myself credit for that. and also not just talk about it but actually do it). and then when it comes to things like religion we're skeptical but also just long to be loved. and we'll take what gives that if we don't have to talk about it, but we won't take what limits us, and i feel like we're still figuring out how to lose tradition and hierarchy while keeping the heart of all the faith traditions we have here. another thing i should investigate. because we're still trying to be someone else i think, and it's not working. so to sum it up i think we're a whole lot of unfounded potential and messy sort-of functionality. no one does it like we do. not even us.

but this is coming from someone who is strangely really connected to everyone, like it's a bit of a weird talent and a little bit hippie (but aussies are hippies too, even though the hardened country folk would never admit it and the city folk don't have time for it and that leaves the label to tasmanians and northern rivers/byron coast folk who the rest of us associate it with). like i can connect with anyone for better or worse, and i do, i can't stop myself, but it's also tiring. who needs the autonomy and freedom of the bush and the novelty and connection and opportunity of our biggest cities. i'm well suited to my career i guess, but not so much self care! and yet. the reason i know how to survive is that it's handed down from ancestors from literally everywhere. we've all brought that and faced this harsh land in the last century, and now it's up to me to do that in a modern setting with modern problems like overpopulation and biodiversity loss.

and i'll also admit a lot of my conceptulisation comes from i am australian by the seekers. i generally sing/play the song without the third verse (or whichever one is about the war) because i find that in this moment in time it's not actually the biggest thing in aussie history that shaped us--it's more a global thing we were dragged into and we do better to leave it and instead think about ancient history, about the people who came with colonisation who weren't all bad individually though they were forced into a bad situation and became many of our ancestors, about the land as a living thing with a spirit, and about the things we create.

otherwise if you're looking for something that more captures what i think you might relate to being australian and some of the generational trauma you see around you that's so woven into our country if not your immigrant family who are trying to fit in but haven't yet specifically there's bloodline by luke hemmings. you know, because at the moment i can't shut up about him or his music.

anyway, do yourself a favour (heck, do me a favour) and get out of that country town of a suburb you live in. it's very insular, possibly one of the most insular places i've seen in this land and i've been to a lot of country towns and urban precincts. we love walkable cities but we yearn for more, more enrichment in the enclosure, and so literally, get on a train and go somewhere, anywhere, and notice things. notice how they do things there. and let me know if it feels good to do that. I will mail you a go card with money on it if that's what you need. go find yourself

[forfoxessake]

Your Fave Band Is Reuniting – But Not For the Reasons You Think

This is a recent article about bands that are making a comeback/return tour and creating a big market for it. It talks about how it happened and how it can only grow. They don’t mention My Chem but I think there’s a lot points they make that truly fit the band. It got me thinking after seeing the constant hate Frank gets for being in L.S. Dunes and the entire fear we collectively have of them never doing anything ever again.

Some quotes:

“The reunion gig was once the most derided of shows. We expected bands to split up amid a maelstrom of drugs, fame, relationships and the ever-cited “creative differences” and then stay split up. It means there’s always been cynicism around them: one last pay packet for waning “heritage” acts who were past it, an open and frank admission that they were all out of ideas. This industrialised nostalgia was the antithesis of what the best music was always about: the thrill of the new.”

If the past few years have proven anything, it's that break-ups are rarely permanent. The truth is music is a fleeting and momentary thing: Bands break up, sometimes with dignity, sometimes in disgrace, then they get back together. That’s what happens.

“For a lot of bands when they've been together for years and years, they just get to a point where they can't stand being in the same room as each other, or they just feel like they've reached the end of the road,” … They need a break basically – and for a lot of bands splitting up provides that break.”

“It makes sense that bands play the "indefinite hiatus" card – an indeterminate period of time away before they get back together to great fanfare. … Reunion tours are big business – a sure thing in an industry where there aren’t a lot of guarantees.”

“Since streaming destroyed finances for so many acts, live performances have become a necessity. That’s even more crucial for the non-songwriting members, whose income often comes primarily from live shows”

“The gambit works especially well if the band’s primary audience have grown old and/or wealthy enough to pay the ticket prices. That means promoters can offer large sums of money to bands who they know will sell…These acts have a generation of fans who have grown up with them and are eager to relive their youth, even in a cost of living crisis.”

“But it’s not just that older audience at these gigs – thanks to social media and streaming, these acts also have new fans who have recently discovered them. “Now younger audiences can easily come across music from the 90s or 2000s, and artists are getting rediscovered for new audiences,”

“It must be really attractive [for a band] to have a chance to be relevant again, and to enjoy meeting and responding to a whole new audience. It also looks pretty fun from where I'm sitting. Who wouldn't want a second bite of that particular cherry?”

“…ultimately it’s the band’s decision. Because they have to want to do it.”

“But as much as money plays a crucial part, there’s more to it than that: It’s now accepted that reunions are a valid part of a career arc. It’s in everyone's ego to want to see your music carry on and reach a new generation; to know that people out there want to hear you – especially when absence seems to have helped your popularity grow.”

“They realise they can now play to far bigger audiences than they could do before because people weren't expecting them to get back together,”

“Reunions often run the risk of admitting that the band have nothing left to offer but a rehash of their old songs. But for acts like The Walkmen and Blur, who are, playing Wembley for the first time on their own terms and with a new album out, are doing it their own way. These shows, rather than revealing artists stuck down creative cul-de-sacs, feel more like a celebration.”

“Doing it on your own terms worked for Pavement, too. What made their Roundhouse shows so special, Wood says, was that “the band wanted that level of intimacy and audience feedback. It's also a result of their catalogue – they told me that because they played four nights, they could do 100 different songs”.

“Of course, no one wants to live in the past. And these comebacks can end terribly badly – even in a brawl, if you’re The View. But when I was at Blur’s warm-up show in Newcastle in May, it was one of the best times I’ve ever seen the band play. It felt vital and joyous: a performance that crackled with warmth and energy and, in the small, sweaty room, the band’s friendship felt palpable. New songs rubbed shoulders with songs from Parklife. The crowd was a mix of fans who were there in the 90s and teenagers dancing and singing along to every word. It showed that reunions can both nod back to the past and look to the future. As Damon sings on “To The End”, it looks like we might have made it.”

TL:DR

I think fits them with the whole just needing a break from everything and each other, we saw them slowly want to be together again with barbecues and meet ups. We saw how much it meant to them to play to new and old audiences, for Gerard to be able to be himself on stage, for Mikey to play without fear, how much love Ray had in his face, and Frank’s magical set lists. They did their best every night while they figured out how to be something different from what they were before. If they want to create new music together again, they will do so at their own time. And the industry right now is accepting of that pace. I don’t want them to do a lazy album just for the money.

[not-poignant]

Have you ever read the Kushiel’s Dart series? I recently rediscovered it while doing a bookshelf purge and boy, that was a wild series for classic romance. I think that was my first introduction to the concept of kink as a baby romance/fantasy reader. Some of it was well executed, some of it was absolutely not, and I’m sure hasn’t aged particularly well. But it definitely left an impression, and guided my taste in romance. If you enjoyed doctrine of labyrinths, it may be worth a peek just for the novelty of it all.

I have, and honestly it felt kind of outdated when I first started reading it like over a decade ago.

I think because it's so aggressively heterosexual (compared to everything I read these days), it wasn't my thing when I started reading it, and it's just become more and more not my thing over time.

However, the Kushiel's series did shape a lot of folk's understanding of themselves and their wants in relationship to kink, and it's been really fundamental for so many people, so I can understand in that sense why it's such a beloved series. The concept is also pretty interesting, and I thought the world-building was cool too, though I don't remember any of it, lol. I never got through the second book though, after the first I realised that I didn't find it personally gripping enough to keep going.

But like I said, it's aggressively heterosexual, and generally speaking if I have a choice, I never read heterosexual content and try to avoid it, and that very much impacts my enjoyment of these sorts of stories!

Tbh I wouldn't compare Kushiel's Dart and Doctrine of Labyrinths at all, personally. If someone recced DOL to me based off Kushiel's Dart I not only wouldn't read it, I'd probably go out of my way to avoid it. x.x I'm sorry anon, one of the reasons I encourage people not to really send me recs is that I am an extremely particular reader / watcher / viewer etc. and folks are more likely to hear how much I don't love something rather than how much I do.

(I really wouldn't be writing if I wasn't so picky, lol)

(To everyone else who loves or has nostalgia for this series, that's awesome and don't listen to me lol I love the Black Jewels trilogy sdalkfjdsa I can't talk)

[edwardthomasnw]

Right

Here we go

(Will be honest it's not quite there, but I'm comfortable enough sharing it so it's out of my damn head-)

The most recent idea to find it's way into my head and make itself at home is Great Northern being on the NWR. With almost no one actually knowing who he is

Stay with me

So, in 1962/'63 the NWR's then CME - a former LNER man who'd moved to Sodor and The Works in the late 1940s - somehow manages to get the poor engine moved to Crovan's Gate, rather than being broken up. He also somehow gets the original frames there too. And has them swapped on. The boiler & frames of the rebuild then get cut up (this will play in later, haud yer wheesht!), and stored in trucks behind The Works with him, covered over with tarpaulins.

He is then forgotten about and left there for around half a century Because Reasons.

During the mid - late 2010s, Gordon - who, for whatever reason, is commandeered to shunt - rediscovers the frames as he prepares to move them elsewhere. Initially believing them to be some old wagon, perhaps a heavily-built wartime flatbed, the wind catches the tarp and reveals the number, presumably painted on by one of the group who switched the frames back. After the Fat Controller arrives (having been alerted to 'a situation', primarily involving Gordon having A Moment) a new small group is then made up to undertake the restoration, only they know who the engine is - though they can't stop the news of an A1/A3 just being found out the back of The Works going around.

On checking the surrounding trucks, it is realised they contain the cut up boiler and frames of the Rebuild - and then they find out why. The great-grandson of that CME finds his journal, which reveals he elected to cut up the rebuild parts in order to safely and secretly store them, with the eventual aim to recycle them into new parts for Great Northern - the same way Henry was rebuilt from a somewhat-naff stolen Pacific design into a Black Five all those years ago.. (yep, working by The Love Bug '97 rules - already had that sort of idea for Henry, and this latched to it perfectly) No one knows how it works, really, but it seemed to work for Henry - or, at least, didn't adversely affect him - so no harm was seen in repeating that process

(This last bit is where it gets A Bit Thin but I am at the Struggle Point with it now) A couple of years later (maybe a year instead), and the new boiler is in the frames. The steam tests are underway. He wakes up, to see Gordon rolling steadily into The Shop. "You started without me?" "We didn't think he'd be waking this soon..!" The Big Engine helped calm his younger brother's anxiety, and answered his questions to the best of his ability. He'd return for each of the following tests, and the 'inaugural steaming', leading him out of The Shop and into the yards - where some of the other engines were waiting to greet and welcome him.

Like with the Works staff and public in general, only a select group of the engines actually know who he is, and work with Gordon to help him. He is himself aware of his true identity, but only vaguely - he can recall some memories, more from after Thompson's rebuild than before, but they're all faint and somewhat clouded. He is, however, very sure of how those around him felt about the rebuild - comforting him due to his anxiety over it, despite his improved performance, and cursing Thompson for having done such to the eldest of their clan (okay yeah I know Gordon's eldest but shush). He was never blamed or faulted, and appreciates that, then and now.

He is still figuring himself out, and as a result has come to an agreement with TFC & Gordon that his true identity is not to be officially revealed until he is ready.

Again don't expect a story from me following up on this, I'm better at creating lore than turning it into stories (and even then most of it's half-written notes..), just sharing it cause it's an idea with form to it.

[true-blue-sonic]

HI HI BLUE!!!

Reviving the topic of Silver taking health care for the first time but towards Gold: How do you think she would react to vaccines, injections and, specially, liquid and chewable medicine?

I figure Onyx City has rediscovered and reinvented a few of the vaccines Sonic's world had, but I pretty doubt they have even ¼ of what used to exist, plus maybe some illness got erradicated due how isolated the city is, but yet I guess she could be a little familiarized with needing a shot and be less resistant to such?

Meanwhile I pretty doubt Onyx City has any non-tasteless-pill medicine, so this girl would probably have a bad time with these.

Hello! ^-^

I cannot speak for the comics, but in the world of Genesis, Onyx City has massively advanced its healthcare and excelled in both curing people and preventing them from falling ill. Not only did the city get destroyed a full century after Sonic's era's time, giving it a hundred years of scientific advancements before the whole world went to hell, it's also got decent enough databases on past illnesses and ways to cure them. Furthermore, with such a strong focus on science and inventing on top throughout the city's lifespan so far, I think healthcare would have been quite a popular topic of choice for many scientists! Not only does the city have literal millions of people crammed on one island that only a select few can leave, it is highly dependent on having a massive chunk of that population either working in the factories or keeping the city infrastructure running. Even the Council knows that their city's wellbeing ("wellbeing") is going to crumble the moment too many Teal Class members or low-ranked scientists are incapacitated! So, perhaps ironically, Onyx City does have a decent enough healthcare system. They've taken the road of preventing people from falling ill in the first place and curing them as quickly as possible if they do anyway, in order to limit drops in productivity and absences in the workspace. To the point that I can even see them inflict punishments on people who are caught shirking on going to the doctor, to ensure the city's overall health is not threatened!

On top of that, Gold has as benefit that she is basically the fifth-highest ranked member of the city (or supposed to be, at least. She certainly doesn't get respected that way😅). The Council's got themselves the best doctor in the whole city to care for the five of them privately. So I think Gold is quite used to receiving vaccines and medicines to prevent her from falling ill, to the point she might have become quite desensitized to it. And even if the medicine was quite yucky and the vaccines left her feeling ill, she knew better than to complain to the Council, who strangely enough never really seemed to suffer any negative consequences themselves... So a decade of that has made her quite pliant and meek about needing to be treated by a doctor, basically. She's not fazed much by the concept, even if needles and pain and what-not do make her freak out on the inside. And she'll be baffled when Silver hovers over her all protectively and tells her it's okay to be scared and he'll be sure she's alright and she can hold his hand if she wants. It quickly makes her realise Silver's strong dislike for needing to go to a doctor, but she is grateful for his helpfulness all the same <3