#relational love

[vizthedatum]

Accept that you will disappoint people.

radically self-forgive yourself so that guilt and shame don't become a part of your wiring

so that you can show up and be accountable

[remanence-of-love]

[twistedlybroken]

[thepersonalquotes]

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

[bitterly-almond]

AU: Kuina lived and her father was supportive of her ambition. He sent her to Wano to learn the way of the swords so they meet again when Zoro arrived at Wano.

I just rlly wanted to design a giant Kuina after seeing how big Kiku is :)))

[missinyouiskillingme]

[bastardlybonkers]

i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one

his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.

ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication

ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.

[delicacysblog]

“what was the most pain you have ever felt”

healing from someone, i once thought i would heal with

[myownpanicroom]

To any suicidal followers I may have: This is a sign to not kill yourself. You are loved and the world is special because you are in it. Keep holding on.

-PLEASE REBLOG THIS YOU MAYBE ARE SAVING SOMEONES LIFE

You are special and amazing , If you need to talk or some help send me a dm and I will talk to you.

[vizthedatum]

I’m not prescribing this everyone or anything but the relationship anarchy paradigm has been helpful for me to understand my relationship needs.

—

Introspectively, in the past, I have often molded myself to be someone who didn’t have needs in the beginning of a relationship so that I could just get along with people or to even seduce the love interest I have at the moment.

That’s led to massive disappointment for everyone involved.

I do think there is some level of masking and code switching at the start of any relationship but usually people show up as themselves with a build up of mutual trust.

People-pleasers, like me, keep hiding parts of them away so that they aren’t too much for the person. Then we end up with people who aren’t satisfactorily emotionally or physically available.

We attract what we feel on the inside.

If I’m running away from myself, I will attract friends and lovers who are running away from me - and it won’t necessarily be their fault.

—

Understanding that people are who they are has helped me finally turn the tables on this situation: who am I? What are my needs? How do I want people to stick around?

If I love someone and they can’t show up the way I need them to show up… then what?

How am I showing up for people? Are people okay with that?

—

As a poly person, I naturally gravitate and feel love for many people. I always have. Monogamy was something I participated in in the past because I didn’t know relationships could be any other way… and I didn’t want people to feel like I wasn’t committed. I also just didn’t know enough about the culture… although I have to admit, the more I learn, the more I don’t know about any culture lol

Relationship anarchy allows me to have more explicit conversation about how a relationship dynamic will work. It only really works out if people are willing to communicate about personal and vulnerable stuff. It can be hard and disappointing.

Some people can’t give you everything or even the *important* things you want.

And sometimes you can’t give people what they want either.

That’s ok, in my opinion.

[remanence-of-love]

[waking-hell]

tumblr is literally about talking to yourself through text posts or tags and once in a while people get nosy

[inkskinned]

fucking hate it when the stuff everybody says "actually works" does actually work.

hate exercising and realizing i've let go of a lot of anxiety and anger because i've overturned my fight-or-flight response.

hate eating right and eating enough and eating 3 times a day and realizing i'm less anxious and i have more energy

hate journaling in my stupid notebook with my stupid bic ballpoint and realizing that i've actually started healing about something once i'm able to externalize it

hate forgiving myself hate complimenting myself more often hate treating myself with kindness hate taking a gratitude inventory hate having patience hate talking to myself gently

hate turning my little face up to the sun and taking deep breaths and looking at nature and grounding myself and realizing that i feel less burdened and more hopeful, more actually-here, that i am able to see the good sides of myself more clearly, that i am able to see not only how far i have to grow - but also how much growth i have already done & how much of my life i truly fill with light and laughter and love

horrible horrible horrible. hate it but i'm gonna do it tho

[thepersonalquotes]

[themirrordemon]