#roach presentation
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rabidbatboy · 3 months ago
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🧼 — THE FIRST RULE OF MOGAI CLUB IS:
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ROACH: a queer autistic person who presents autisticly. a roach’s queer and autistic identity are inseparable and they are outwardly both autistic and queer, voluntarily or not.
roaches might feel separate or isolated from the wider queer experience due to being autistic, be visibly autistic due to an inability to mask, a choice not to mask, a fluctuating ability to mask, out of spite, etc. they might have a ‘weird’ queer experience like being mspec or using xenogenders and neopronouns due to being autistic
TAGGING: @radiomogai @rwuffles @presentationflag-archive
YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT MOGAI CLUB — 🫧
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godslush · 2 months ago
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I still don’t know how to draw Sam but that doesn’t stop me from thinking up stupid dialogues.
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rainyramblesscramble · 7 months ago
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day 4 of drawing one of the cod characters until I’m comfortable with trying to find my style
Hehe. Boyfriends
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yi3248 · 1 year ago
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roach with a knife what will he do
slight blood warning in 2nd drawing
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yourdailyqueer · 1 year ago
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Mattea Roach
Gender: Female (they/them)
Sexuality: Lesbian/Queer
DOB: 26 October 1998
Ethnicity: White - Canadian
Occupation: Reality star, presenter, tutor
Note: Held a 23-game winning streak on the game show Jeopardy!
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neurosiscocktail · 2 years ago
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Okay so here’s my pitch for the season 3 cold open-
We open to a close up of Stede’s face, he’s clearly concentrating, he’s sweating a little, and covered in blood. It’s pretty clear as we pan out to a shoulder shot that he just killed someone. He looks very sexy about it.
We switch to a close up of Ed’s face, sweaty, clearly has just been fucked. Maybe his top button is done up wrong. Who knows.
The shot pans out and we start hearing their conversation. They are outside the inn, digging up Izzy (stick with me)- they’re talking about how silly they feel for just now realizing this is the problem- OF COURSE Izzy has been so mad, they didn’t bury him with his ring! How silly of them! And they didn’t even notice until someone tried to rob them and Stede killed the robber (and they fucked about it). THAT must be why Izzy won’t stop haunting them. They tuck the ring into his breast pocket and start to rebury him.
Next shot- we find out that they think Izzy has been haunting them because of a the ~weird happenings~ at the Inn. The haunting does not stop after they bury the ring. This part of the episode starts very creepy, real horror movie vibes. However, we find out through the course of the episode that what they think is a haunting is just two whim prone chuckleheads with no experience running an Inn.
“All of the produce mysteriously went bad!” - Stede, whose experience with food preparation is putting marmalade on toast just left them too close to the fire and the heat did what it does to produce.
“The room keys keep going missing!” Nope. Ed simply cannot remember where he put them.
“The desk bell keeps ringing at night but there is no one there!” It’s buttons the seagull fucking with them.
They both think they’re responsible for the haunting and having a crisis about it. Idk, dealers choice about what they feel guilty about.
They are losing their fucking shit over this haunting. Maybe Izzy shows up once or twice in a Badminton style memory ghost.
We pan back to The Revenge. It’s a total parallel to what happened with the red suit.
They also think they are being haunted by Izzy.
The word “twat” keeps appearing carved into random places aboard the ship. Frenchie’s peanut allergy is back full swing. They keep sailing into storms by accident. Etc
They set sail for the Inn, desperate to ask Ed to control the ghost of his dead best friend or burn the body, anything to get rid of this fucking ghost.
It’s Jim fucking with them and dumb luck. (Except for the storm thing, it’s just impossible for anyone to read the weather as well as Ed)
They all meet up at the Inn, and now we have a Scooby Doo style episode where the ghost was the friendship and character growth we made along the way.
And then for an extra layer of comedy, maybe at the end of the season we see Izzy’s ghost just sort of old man loitering around the ship because he didn’t want to leave what I am affectionately deeming his kids.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk
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boxofthings · 1 year ago
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dare i say shadow!roach with ur gravesroach thoughts?
omg I was literally just thinking of this hdjshfjiwid you have no idea how excited I was to see you say this, Santi!! This could be SUCH an interesting sub plot
I'm just thinking of the aftermath of Roach's almost death where he's picked up by Shadows and specifically being looked after by Graves
I understand Graves is a cocky backstabber, but his relationship with his Shadows genuinely does seem pretty wholesome, I can imagine if he got a new recruit he'd be a very attentive mentor ( I rewatched the scene in MWII where Graves keeps calling out to his downed Shadows and urging Shepherd to send backup for them, like he def cares for his men)
I was also thinking of having Graves be the one to teach Roach ASL because oof think of that extra internal conflict when Roach has to choose between helping the 141 and staying loyal to SC and specifically the man who helped him adapt to military life post-injury ughhhh
Literally, any Roach-centric pairing has me in a chokehold. Angst for days, I love it.
I feel like this could go either two ways:
Graves genuinely does care for Roach's wellbeing (as seen in canon with his actual shadows) and develops a close bond while helping Roach recover from his injuries (could lead to some interesting dynamics between Graves, the 141, and Shepherd)
or, Graves is fully on board with Shepherd's plan to use Roach as leverage against the 141 and only pretends to form a bond with him (just more trauma for Roach lol poor guy)
either way, they'd lead to some good conflict
and if you factor in the whole GhostRoach focus of this AU, I think adding a GravesRoach sub plot would be extra juicy (think of Ghost's reaction when he finds out Roach is alive and all personal with the commander of SC)
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argo-bolo · 1 year ago
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I'm gonna start biting the bars of my enclosure
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chapel-roach · 1 year ago
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for the second year in a row my "and also with yinz" sweater was a hit at easter brunch
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sunni-stuff · 7 months ago
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Part 4
Soap’s eyebrows lifted with a curious glint in his eye as he looked from you to Adira, a playful grin edging onto his face. He leaned in, never one to miss a chance at a bit of friendly prodding.
“So… you’re married?” he asked, his tone as light as his smirk.
You laughed, the sound warm and genuine. “Haha! No, I’m not.” You gave Adira’s tiny hand a gentle squeeze, glancing down at her with a smile that softened every edge on your face. 
Soap tilted his head, pretending to be shocked. “A bonnie lass like yerself? Unmarried?” he teased, hand on his chest as though it were a crime.
“Guess I’m a rare breed,” you replied with a grin, chuckling as you shifted Adira’s hand in yours.
Soap’s face lit up at your response, as if he’d just been given the most interesting bit of news he’d heard all week. He shot Ghost a quick look, but Ghost was still watching Adira, his gaze softened with something unreadable.
Meanwhile, Gaz wasn't fascinated by Soap's ability to make anyone at ease, the man was a cassanova. Roach watched Adira with curiosity, as though piecing together a puzzle he hadn’t realized existed until now. Price stood off to the side, arms crossed, silently observing the whole scene.
“If you aren’t married, how’d you get this little one?” Soap pushed, grinning as he wiggled a playful finger in Adira’s direction.
Adira’s gaze snapped up from Ghost to the man with the funny hair, her little brow furrowing as she studied Soap with a mix of curiosity and caution. She leaned into your leg, clearly wary, but her attention stayed on the finger waving in front of her.
You chuckled, brushing a hand over Adira’s head to reassure her. “Long story,” you replied, smiling. “Let’s just say she was an unexpected blessing.”
Soap laughed softly, glancing at Ghost with a gleam in his eye. “Ah, aye, life’s full of surprises, eh?” 
Ghost, who had been studying Adira in silence, clenched his jaw, shifting uncomfortably as Soap’s words hit a little too close to home.
“I used to be really wild back in the day,” you admitted with a sheepish grin, a hint of nostalgia coloring your tone as you thought back to those not-so-distant years.
Soap wasn’t quite done yet, though. “Does the father know?” he threw a quick glance at Ghost, who had just risen from his crouched position. A new tension ran through Ghost’s frame, his stance rigid, as if the question had struck something he’d rather not confront.
You hesitated, a shadow crossing your expression before you shook your head. “No, he doesn’t… He, uh, probably has no idea.”
Ghost’s jaw tightened, his gaze flickering from you to Adira, who was absorbed in her drink, unaware of the intensity surrounding her. His shoulders stiffened, and for a split second, he looked as though he wanted to speak—but whatever words he had caught in his throat, locked behind his silence.
"I see, well. I'm sorry if I took up your time, ma’am, you've been a nice chat," Soap said, his voice softening with a touch of politeness, his grin still present but more reserved now.
You nodded, giving Adira’s hand a gentle tug as you continued on your way, the soft crunch of snow beneath your boots the only sound accompanying your steps. The blue sky stretched above, peaceful, serene. As you walked, Adira turned her head, glancing back at Ghost one final time. She refused to let go of her cup, her small fingers gripping it tightly, but she lifted her other hand in a small, hesitant wave. "Bye-bye," she whispered, her voice soft but sweet.
Ghost’s gaze lingered, but he didn’t move. His expression was unreadable, a mixture of things churning behind those eyes. 
Price let out a heavy sigh, crossing his arms and facing Ghost. “So... what’s the plan?” he asked, his tone both blunt and expectant, clearly waiting for some kind of direction. The rest of the team stood in silence, watching the exchange unfold.
Ghost didn’t answer immediately. His gaze remained on you and Adira, watching you both disappear further down the street, the distance growing with each step. The soft crunch of snow under your boots was the only sound in the quiet winter air. He didn’t even notice Price's voice until the man spoke again, closer now, with a slight edge to his tone.
"Ghost, talk to me. What’s the plan here?”
Finally, Ghost shifted, his shoulders tense, his jaw clenched as he turned to face Price. There was a flicker of something in his eyes—something caught between anger, confusion, and a deep, gnawing regret.
"I don't know," he muttered, the words barely escaping his lips. "I wasn't expecting this. Hell, I didn't even know she existed." His voice was low, strained, but there was a quiet honesty to it, as if he was trying to process something that didn’t make sense.
Soap stepped closer, his expression serious for once. "What now, Ghost? We can help. But you need to tell us what's going on."
Ghost finally looked away, his attention drawn to the ground, his fingers twitching like he was trying to find something to hold onto. "I don't even know where to start," he admitted. "All I know is... I saw her. And it hit me like a fucking truck."
Roach, always one to stay in the background, spoke up. “Maybe it’s time to talk to her, yeah? Figure out where to go from here?”
Price’s eyes narrowed, his stern gaze shifting to Ghost, assessing him. “And what exactly do you want from us? You’re in this, whether you like it or not.”
Ghost let out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know,” he repeated, voice hoarse. “But I can’t just let her slip away.”
A silence stretched between them, heavy and thick, as the weight of the situation settled in. Then, slowly, Ghost nodded. “I’ll figure it out. Just… not now. Not here.” His eyes flicked toward the street where you had disappeared, and something in his gaze softened, just for a moment, before the mask fell back into place.
Price gave a single nod. "Alright. But we stick together on this. You’re not doing it alone, Ghost."
The team stood together for a moment longer, the wind howling through the alley, before they slowly began to move, their steps trailing off into the winter evening. The silence that hung between them was thick with uncertainty. No one knew what came next, but they knew one thing for sure: whatever happened, they were in this together.
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A month passed, the team giving Ghost the space he needed to process the whirlwind that had hit him. They all knew this was something he had to handle on his own terms, but that didn't mean the questions didn't linger. What did it mean for the future? What did he want? The answers were still unclear, even to Ghost himself.
But Soap, ever the persistent one, wasn’t content to let things sit in limbo. He knew Ghost, knew how his mind worked, and that sometimes the best way to breakthrough was to take small steps. And if that meant subtly nudging you into the picture, then so be it. He’d always been good at this—at slipping in the background, making things happen without anyone noticing.
So, Soap started to "accidentally" run nto you. At the park, when you were out with Adira, he'd make sure to be in the same place at the same time, offering a casual greeting. It always started simple, harmless, with a nod or a small comment about the weather. Then, of course, there was that coffee shop where you'd gone to get hot chocolate for Adira.
The first time he "bumped" into you there, it was nothing more than a quick exchange. A question about the drink, a comment on the cold weather, just the usual small talk. But Johnny's natural charm and ease made you relax, and made the conversation flow without much effort. Over time, those small moments grew. You'd smile when you'd see him, and he'd greet you with the same friendly energy, always leaving you feeling at ease. No pressure, just casual.
And slowly, ever so slowly, Johnny began to warm you up to the idea of him. It wasn't much at first—a smile here, a shared laugh there—but he knew what he was doing. He wasn't pushing, just letting the connection build at its own pace. The more you saw him, the more comfortable you felt. The more you talked, the more you found yourself enjoying the interactions, even if they were brief.
One evening, Johnny sat beside you on the park bench, casually leaning back as Adira bounced around in the snow, her laughter filling the crisp air. The sound was contagious, and for a moment, you let yourself relax, watching her with a soft smile.
"So, me and a couple friends are meeting up at Leslie's this weekend," Johnny said, his tone light but with a hint of something more. "Would you be interested?"
You snorted, expecting the usual joke or teasing, but when you glanced over at him, his expression was far more serious than you anticipated. For a moment, you considered dismissing it. After all, Leslie's? A pub? That was a far cry from the cozy routine you’d built for yourself with Adira. 
“Seriously?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. "I don't think I fit the scene."
Johnny shrugged nonchalantly, the corner of his mouth lifting in that playful grin of his. “Please. It'll just be like old times.”
Your mind immediately wandered, trying to understand what he meant by that. What was it about old times that Johnny thought might appeal to you? You didn’t exactly have a wild past to cling to. Sure, you’d had your moments, but those felt long behind you now. 
Still, something about the invitation lingered. A night out... maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. You hadn’t done anything for you in a while. And maybe, just maybe, it would be nice to let someone else take care of the night for once. No worrying about Adira, no responsibilities for a few hours. Just some fun, whatever that meant now.
You hesitated, looking down at Adira as she made another snow angel, oblivious to the conversation happening nearby. She’d be fine, right? And you could leave if things felt uncomfortable. 
“Alright,” you finally said, meeting Johnny’s gaze with a reluctant but genuine smile. "I'll join you. But only if it’s not as crazy as you’re making it sound." 
Johnny’s grin widened, and you could tell he was already mentally planning the evening, no doubt with some plan to ease you in without overwhelming you. He stood up, dusting off the snow on his pants as he glanced back at you.
“Deal. I’ll make sure it’s a night to remember.”
You just hoped he wasn’t overselling it.
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The weekend seemed to arrive so fast, and here you were, standing outside your apartment, nervously adjusting your blue blouse and jeans. It wasn’t exactly the type of outfit you thought would fit a night out, but it was the best you could do. Most of your wardrobe these days consisted of comfortable clothes, ones that could be easily changed or wiped clean in case Adira had another of her toddler mishaps. Sexy or flirty clothes were a distant memory, tucked away in a drawer somewhere, gathering dust.
Adira stood in the doorway, clutching her little stuffed bear to her chest, eyes wide and brimming with unshed tears. The sight hit you harder than you expected. You knelt down in front of her, your heart sinking at the sight of her teary eyes. “I’ll be back in a couple hours, I promise,” you said, your voice gentle but firm, reaching out to her with a reassuring smile.
Adira sniffled, her tiny hand coming up to rub her eyes, but she didn’t break her stare. You held out your pinky, the gesture as familiar as breathing. Slowly, she reached out, her small finger wrapping around yours with the same trust she always had. The connection was brief, but it felt like a promise, one that you hoped would calm her.
"I won't be out long," you said softly to the friend you’d left with her. "And you, be good for Auntie too." The last part was directed at Adira, though the words felt bittersweet on your tongue.
Adira nodded, but her face still held that sadness, that uncertainty of what the night would bring without you. 
Standing up, you ruffled her hair and offered a small, hopeful smile. “I’ll be back before you know it. Just a little fun for Mama, okay?”
Her small nod didn’t do much to ease the tightness in your chest, but you turned and gave her one last look before stepping outside. The cool evening air wrapped around you, a contrast to the warmth of the apartment behind you, but you pushed the feeling away. Tonight was for you, however strange that sounded. 
Locking the door behind you, you felt a flutter of nerves in your stomach. This wasn’t just any night out. It was a night with Johnny, with his friends, with the possibility of reconnecting to parts of yourself you’d set aside for so long.
Arriving outside the establishment, the familiar hum of chatter and music filled the night air, but what caught your attention first was Johnny standing outside, leaning against the brick wall, checking his watch. The moment his eyes met yours, they lit up, his expression shifting from casual to something almost... eager. 
“Well, well, look at you,” he said with that trademark wink of his, his gaze raking over you with a genuine appreciation that made you feel suddenly self-conscious. “You clean up well.”
You rolled your eyes but couldn’t suppress the small smile tugging at your lips. It was hard to resist the easy charm of Johnny.
“Let’s just hope I survive this night,” you muttered, though the words were more for yourself than him. You weren’t sure what to expect tonight, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that things might not go as smoothly as Johnny seemed to think.
Johnny chuckled, the sound warm and reassuring. “I’m sure you will. Now, let’s get going before I change my mind.”
With that, you fell into step beside him, the weight of your hand at your side suddenly feeling strange in the cool night air. He led you toward the door, and as you entered the dimly lit space of the bar, your eyes scanned the room. 
It was bustling, a mix of regulars and newcomers, all seeking solace or company for the night. It smelled of beer, whiskey, and the faintest hint of fried food, a familiar and welcoming kind of atmosphere. But as soon as you stepped inside, your nerves shot back up again. You tried not to let the nerves show, but they were there, itching under your skin.
What you didn’t notice, as you made your way to the bar, was the group inside. Ghost, Price, Gaz, Roach—quietly observing, waiting for their chance to either speak to you or simply let you slip through their fingers once more. Ghost’s eyes tracked you the moment you stepped inside, and there was a hesitation in his gaze, something raw and almost pained that flickered in and out. 
For a moment, Ghost didn’t move, didn’t speak. He simply watched you, aware that the moment he’d been dreading—he had finally stumbled into. Your gaze met his across the room, the flicker of recognition passing between you both. But that was it. You didn’t remember. You didn’t know him. You didn’t know what he was to you.
Approaching the bar, you saw that Johnny was already leaning in, chatting with the bartender, exchanging friendly banter. You barely heard the words, only caught up in the feeling that something was different. Something you couldn’t quite place. You glanced back at the table where those men sat. They weren’t talking, but their eyes were all trained on you, as if waiting for something to happen.
Your heart raced without explanation. Ghost’s eyes—those eyes—stayed locked on you. He didn’t know how to approach, how to change what had already seemingly been set in stone. What was he supposed to say? What was the plan now that you were here, so close? God, why the fuck did johnny do this.
Johnny leaned toward you again, a soft smile curling his lips. “You good, love?” he asked, his voice pulling you back to the present.
“Yeah,” you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper. You forced a smile, trying to ignore the uneasy tension brewing in your chest. “Just... getting used to being out.”
Johnny winked again, oblivious to the chaos of emotions swirling within you. “It’s all good. Let’s have some fun tonight, yeah?”
Ghost’s fist clenched involuntarily under the table. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this distance, this silent acknowledgment of his role, or how long he could ignore what it meant to see you here now. 
“You’ll fit right in,” Johnny said, though there was a hint of something deeper behind his words. “Just a bunch of mates enjoying a drink, nothing crazy.” Johnny leads you over to the table, you expected to be met with… well you didn't quite know what.  
Price leaned back in his seat, cigar in hand, a soft smile on his weathered face as he regarded you with a raised brow. “Didn’t think you’d actually show up.”
"Neither did I," you muttered under your breath, forcing a smile and doing your best to ignore the gnawing feeling that lingered when you looked at him. You hadn’t quite expected this part of the evening.
“I’m just here for a drink, nothing more,” you said, looking over at Johnny was getting comfortable in his chair.
“Well, pull up a seat, love,” Price said, motioning to the empty spot next to him. “We’re all friends here.”
You hesitated but made your way over, perching yourself on the seat next to him. The sound of the glass being slid toward you, the clink of ice against glass, broke through the chatter around you. Your nerves buzzed as you focused on the drink in front of you, trying to ignore the sudden realization of just how different this was from the quiet, routine life you had at home with Adira.
“Enjoy yourself,” Price said with an air of casual amusement, leaning back in his chair. “This is all new for you, isn’t it?”
You raised an eyebrow, not wanting to admit just how out of place you felt in the moment. Instead, you took a sip of your drink, the burn of whiskey warming you from the inside out.
You laugh lightly, a bit awkwardly, trying to shake off the nerves that gnawed at you. "Yeah, this all a bit... newish. I haven't been out like this in years honestly," you admit, taking a deep breath and glancing around the bar. The warmth of the space was a welcome contrast to the chill outside, but the sight of the men made you feel more like a fish out of water than ever.
Johnny claps you on the back with an easy grin, clearly trying to make you feel more comfortable. “These are my mates. Price, Kyle, Gary, and Simon," he introduces with a flourish, motioning to each man in turn. 
You give them all a polite smile, not quite sure what to make of them just yet. There was something about the way they carried themselves, all standing a little apart from the crowd, that made it clear they were more than just regulars at the pub. But you didn’t have time to focus too much on that right now. You were trying to just survive the night.
Price, who looked a bit older than the rest, nods at you, his gaze thoughtful, almost cautious. “Nice to meet you,” he says in a tone that is polite but distant, as though he’s waiting for something, some sign.
Kyle, as Johnny had called him—gives you a friendly nod, a playful glint in his eyes, but there's a strange sharpness to his look that you can’t quite place. “Pleasure," he says, offering you a tight smile.
Gary simply gives you a quick but sincere nod. His eyes linger on you just long enough for you to catch a flicker of interest before he looks away.
And then there’s Simon. His presence, as always, is quieter, more intense. He’s sitting in the middle, arms crossed, his gaze fixed directly on you. You can feel the weight of it, though. It’s impossible not to. There was something you couldn't place with him though you couldn’t see too well under the dim light.
You try to shake off the unease creeping up your spine. “Nice to meet you all," you reply, your voice warmer than you feel. 
Johnny, oblivious to the awkwardness in the air, slaps the bar and gives a nod. “Alright, drinks all around, yeah? Let’s get this party started!” he declares, pulling the group into the rhythm of the night.
As the revelry began your stomach churns slightly, a sense of unease still lingering despite the distraction. You knew something was off, something you couldn’t quite put into words. It wasn’t just the men—it was the way Simon’s gaze lingered on you, the way he looked at you as if he were waiting for something. It unsettled you, but you couldn’t figure out why.
Johnny, seemingly oblivious to your tension, slides a drink toward you. “First round’s on me," he grins, the clink of glass against the table snapping you back to the present. "Here’s to a good night.”.
You took a deep breath, swallowing down the nerves that still clung to you. This was supposed to be a night out, after all. A chance to shake off the past, to let loose just a little. You couldn’t let the weight of everything pull you under before you even tried. What would be the point if you didn’t at least try and enjoy yourself?
Shaking the tension from your shoulders, you took a sip of your drink, the burn of alcohol easing the knot in your stomach just slightly. The guys were chatting among themselves, Johnny’s laughter cutting through the low hum of the bar as he joked with Kyle. Price was listening intently, nodding along while Gary seemed content to let the others talk, his eyes occasionally flicking to you, though his gaze didn’t linger long.
And then there was Simon.
His presence loomed even when he wasn’t speaking, his broad frame leaning against the bar just slightly, face half hidden by the shadows. You caught his eyes for a split second, the intensity of his stare making your pulse hitch. You quickly looked away, focusing on your drink, your nerves creeping back up despite the effort to push them aside.
You could feel his gaze on you, though, like a weight pressing against your back. You tried not to let it show, tried not to acknowledge how his proximity seemed to pull at something inside you, but it was impossible to ignore. There was a pull, something in the air, but you couldn’t quite grasp it.
Sighing inwardly, you turned your attention back to the others. Just enjoy yourself, you remind yourself again. Don’t think about him. Don’t think about any of it.
Johnny clinked his glass against yours, a grin on his face. “Here’s to not letting the night pass us by,” he said with a wink, and you couldn’t help but smile back, lifting your glass.
“Cheers,” you said, the warmth of the alcohol giving you just the nudge you needed to ease into the evening. For now, you’d ignore the tight feeling in your chest. You’d enjoy yourself. 
But the eyes that lingered on you would remain, whether you were ready for them or not.
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You pushed your chair back with more force than necessary, the scrape of it against the floor loud in the otherwise quiet bar. The conversation still echoed in your ears, but your focus had been on the man, Simon, for the past half hour. His silence had become suffocating, every glance he cast in your direction feeling like it held some hidden meaning. You couldn't quite place it, but something was off about him. His eyes, cold and intense, had followed you too much, made you second guess every word you’d said.
"Im... gonna go powder my nose," you muttered, more to fill the silence than anything else. You didn’t wait for a response, the words barely out of your mouth before you were already making your way across the room, past the low hum of idle chatter and the clink of glasses.
While you were in the bathroom, the entire team turned their attention towards Ghost, each of them sizing him up, starting with Soap.
"What is wrong with you?" Soap asked, his voice a mix of disbelief and amusement.
"What?" Simon blinked, genuinely confused.
"Mate, you've been gawking at her all night," Gaz added, raising an eyebrow, his voice teasing but laced with concern.
"Shit. Are you serious?" Simon muttered, running a hand through his hair, but his gaze didn't stray far from where you had just disappeared.
Roach, leaning back casually with his drink in hand, nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah, it's like you’ve been stuck in a staring contest with her since she walked in."
Price, who had been watching quietly, shook his head with a resigned sigh. He snuffed out his cigar in the nearby ashtray, eyes narrowing as he met Simon's gaze. "If you scared her off, I doubt you’ll get another chance, lad."
Simon’s jaw clenched. He hadn’t realized how obvious it had been, but now that the team was calling him out on it, he felt the heat rise in his chest. He hadn’t meant to make you uncomfortable, but the pull to look at you, to remember what had sparked your connection all those years ago had been almost magnetic.
“Alright, alright,” Soap teased, leaning in, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Just don't burn a hole in her head.”
“Shut up,” Simon muttered, his mind racing, trying to figure out how to fix this without making things worse.
Price shared a look with the rest of the team, a silent understanding passing between them. While Soap might have been the one to set this whole thing in motion, it didn't mean the others didn't have contingencies in place. 
Soap got up first, stretching a bit. “Gonna make sure no one's tried to get in my car,” he said with a casual tone.
“I’ll come with you,” Gaz chimed in, already pushing himself up from his seat and following Soap toward the door.
A minute later, Roach also stood, excusing himself without a word, and then Price followed suit, his movements deliberate. “I’m gonna make sure they’re not up to anything,” he said with a knowing glance.
With everyone out of the immediate area, the bar suddenly felt quieter, and the tension in the air seemed to thicken. It took Ghost only a second for it all to click—he had been set up. Without thinking, he bolted from his seat, rushing outside just in time to catch the taillights of Soap's car disappearing down the street.
He cursed under his breath, but before he could make another move, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Pulling it out, he glanced at the screen. There, in simple words from Price: 
“Good luck.”
Ghost stood still for a moment, phone in hand, as the weight of the situation hit him. His heart thudded in his chest. This was it. There was no turning back now.
By the time you returned to the table, you felt a bit more at ease. The night out wasn’t all that bad… it was just that Johnny had some weird taste in friends. Well, mostly the tall one. You couldn’t help but notice how everyone seemed to have left, a pit forming in your stomach at the thought of being ditched.
You let out a quiet sigh, about to gather your things and head out when your phone lit up in your purse. Pulling it out, you saw a text from Johnny. 
"Emergency, looks like one of the beers wasn't that good, poor Kyle threw up."
You paused, reading the message again, a small smile tugging at your lips. Aww… nevermind. At least they hadn’t forgotten about you after all. 
"Hope he's okay." You replied quickly, grabbing the straps of your bag when suddenly a hand landed on top of yours.
You looked up, meeting the intense gaze of Simon. Seriously? You couldn’t help but think. They took everyone but this guy?
You forced a smile, trying to pull your hand away, but Simon’s grip was firm, not unkind. “Look, I had a decent time, but I have to go—”
“Just a minute,” he interrupted, his voice low, steady, almost pleading. There was something about the way he said it that made you pause, something different than the usual small talk.
"Fine." The word slipped out before you could process it, and you cursed yourself inwardly. Really? You just agreed to stay with the guy who hadn’t stopped staring since you met him. You sat back down, and he mirrored you, settling across the table. 
Silence stretched between you, his intense gaze unwavering. He didn’t so much as blink, and you couldn’t help but feel more unsettled by the second.
What the hell is his deal?
“Look, if you're just going to be a creep, I don't think I want to mee—"
“Do you remember Armed Forces Day?” His voice cut through your words, quiet but resolute.
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Okay, this took all day, I wanted to give you all something long to read incase I disappear for finals (which I might)
Reblogs appreciated!!!
TAGLIST: @nijiru @livinggxd3adgirl @skylarmitchell @lunamoonbby @pagesfalling @love-kha1 @thychuvaluswife @dinonuggetsworld @serafina-nyx @imttryi @armycaratlover @mulletmcghee @jajouska @sgreer123123 @gaida-511 @uhenivid @maluvilela @cosmicbreathe @natashamea18 @fucknuggets420 @dreamygirli3 @skzthinker @viecyi @drip-from-kitchen-sink @instantdinosaurwitch @xbirdiex @too-pretty-to-live @koibleufish @lahniu @lostintransist @famouscattale @secretcheesecakenacho @guyser @allixamour @kihyuns-military-wife @cray0ngutz @jaxz21 @singshoutshaxx @plk-18 @strawberrygato @soaplickerrr @hizzielover @bvinnyll @pawnthedice @viennakarma @forgottensomewhere @i-love-ptv @tachiara @n-y-x04 @oniiloma @vmaxis @allllium @ninikrumbs @thatpersonnamedrook @qetigasitashvili05
WOWWW LOOK AT ALL THESE NAMES. Thank you all so much for the support!! Im sorry if i missed any, I will update if I noticed any missing or comment on those who's tags didnt go through!
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tomialtooth · 5 months ago
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Yeah!! You're right! The mw reboot fandom is almost entirely carried by the alone mission; it's not even funny. More controversially you could say that the fandom is carried by ghoap which was spawned largely from this mission. I feel like people didn’t notice the quality drop as much between 2019 and 2022 because while the game wasn’t good per say it was still fun. Realistically speaking people shouldn’t have been that surprised 2023 went the way it did given the difference between 2022 and 2019 but hindsight's 20/20 I guess. The thing that really gets me about the mw reboot in general is that there are just enough kernels of cool ideas sprinkled throughout the bullshit that it makes sad for the things that could have been.
Part of the reason why I think the mw reboots are weaker than the originals is that they try to completely divorce the story from the context the originals first emerged from. The original mw games were absolutely products of their time and place and by moving them to modern day they completely rip away the sociopolitical and cultural context that inspired the originals. The story is the way it is because it’s a reflection of shit that was going on in the late Bush and early Obama eras! The reboots have divorced the art from its context and the narrative and characters suffer from that.
I fear for the lives of anyone in the vicinity if Price and Adler end up meeting. Do NOT let Captain Price near Bell; he has suffered enough.
Please don’t do Hudson like that he’d be rolling in his bald grave if he knew his descendant was running a pmc. Mason shouldn’t even have been allowed to have a fork man
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How it feels when you don't like the headcanon that Graves is Adler's son
#Mann I will never not be mad for the things that could have been with the reboot#Some of the changes they made were fucking stupid though. Why get rid of Roach and make Soap a Sargent that was dumb#I like reboot Gaz though. He can stay.#Price... ouhhh I think if you're only familiar with the reboot and then went back and played the original it'd be a bit of a shock of how#much og Price sucked as a Person. The reboot sanded away a lot of the more negative and morally dubious parts of his personality.#Reboot Price ends up feeling weirdly flandardized in a way#I could write an entire essay on the original Ultranationalists and how they're based off of very real insurgencies and terrorists that were#active in Russia at the time these games were first written.#Viewed through an American lens.#The reboot's ultranationalists are completely devoid of that real world connection and are thematically and narratively neutered for it.#Don't get me wrong I would absolutely read something well written about the 141 and black ops casts interacting.#Interactions between the original mw characters with the black ops characters would be more imteresting than the reboot mw characters but is#non existent as far as I'm aware.#Another reason I forgot to add for why making them connected was a bad idea is that they're just thematically and tonally very different#Especially so since they've pivoted hard away from action hero camp with the reboot that is very present in blops#This is so late. I had it all written out but then forgort about it. For this I'm sorry.
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almostempty · 10 months ago
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Never made it as a wise man
(joel miller x f!reader)
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Description: Joel solves your car troubles for free, and you try to return the favor with a homecooked meal. When you accidentally interrupt his jerkoff session, you take a chance and help him out.
Note: y’all are out here answering god’s toughest questions, like what if emotionally unavailable Joel was loved unconditionally? or what if Joel was the Mothman?, and I deeply appreciate that. 
However, today, I am here to answer a question that nobody asked– What if Joel was a divorced dad rock kinda guy? 
You know, like, listening to Nickelback on an old-school boombox in his garage, or unironically singing Creed on the way to work, or bonding with Ellie over Papa Roach? And also, (inspired by a genius) what if he was a little bit pathetic? 
Anyway, I present to you: divorced dad rock dilf, Joel, ta-da! (my humble submission for @hellishjoel‘s hot dilf summer challenge) obvs dedicated to: @auteurdelabre
ao3: read here | masterlist: here | part 2 here | part 3 here
Tags/warnings: AU no outbreak divorced Joel x f!reader, Sarah is not mentioned, but Ellie is your adult coworker, reader is clueless about cars and so am I, gratuitous smut and horny thoughts, implied jorkin’ joel but no witnesses, hand job, fingering, premature ejaculation, touch starved kinda loserish but hot divorced dilf joel, he’s a real tiddy guy in this one and idk why it just happened, pwp, is it a crackfic? maybe, but i meant it wholeheartedly so idk  
WC: 4.2k
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You pull onto the long driveway, hoping to see Joel’s truck. You forgot to text first to see if he would be around, but he did tell you to come by if you ever needed anything. You mostly just hope he’ll be willing to accept your gift. 
Last week, he’d helped you out by fixing your car. He told you what the issue was, but he might as well have been speaking another language when he described it. You had already brought coffee and a plate of cookies to your coworker Ellie to thank her for dragging you to Joel’s to ask for help. Being in a new town was hard enough, but you had no idea how you would handle the price for diagnostics, let alone whatever the repair would’ve cost. You tried to offer Joel the cash you had as a thanks, but he wouldn’t accept it. You tried to argue with him, but Ellie told you it wasn’t worth arguing with him. He wouldn’t budge. Instead, he had offered to change your oil for you, making you feel even more indebted to him. 
At first, the most you got out of Ellie for intel on Joel was that he was the one responsible for you having to listen to “One Last Breath” and “Lips of an Angel” at ungodly early hours. Ellie claimed that her music taste was deeply influenced by Joel, and somehow, Ellie is always in charge of the music at work. When you rolled your eyes calling it divorced dad rock, she let it slip that you were right about that. 
That explains a lot when you remember the brief time you spent in his house and shop. The house was clean inside but not tidy. Stray beer bottles and travel mugs dotted the counter and coffee table. But the shop had all the Divorced Dad Barbie accessories. 
The project car and crates of assorted parts. The beer fridge and the plastic lawn chairs in the corner for bullshitting with whoever stopped by. The boombox on the workbench with the stack of CDs. And the fading calendar from another decade with the naked woman kneeling on the beach. 
You hadn’t been able to stop your eyes from darting to her sultry expression and swimsuit model-perfect breasts when Joel had been explaining what he was going to do to your car. You wondered if the heat burning in your cheeks had given you away, but he didn’t notice then. Ellie sure did, though, and she had rolled her eyes at you, noting it had been up so long she even forgot it was there. 
Luckily, Ellie didn’t notice your eyes lingering on Joel’s body. You weren’t trying to be a creep, but the way his arm flexed when he opened the hood of your car gave you some feral brand of intrusive thoughts. The ratty band t-shirt and the faded jeans were working for him, too, or at least they were doing something for you. Time slowed when your eyes trailed over his arms and down the muscles of his broad back. He just seemed so… solid. You finally understood what your friends back home meant when they said they wanted to climb a man like a tree. You had jumped a little when Ellie slammed the fridge behind you and shouted at Joel about how he can’t just live in the shop drinking shitty beer and eating beef jerky. She had grabbed your arm to drag you to the house for an iced tea while he worked. 
Her comment sparked your idea. You figured Joel must be a utilitarian type. He probably lives on frozen pizzas–or even worse, those Hungry-Man frozen TV dinners–instead of making himself something fresh. Maybe he’s one of those guys who got really into smoking meats instead. Either way, you hope the lasagna you made from scratch and the other tray of cookies will be an acceptable thank you for his help. He can’t refuse it if you already made it, right? 
You pull up next to a truck, assuming it’s his, and that he’s home. Before you grab the tray, you pause to check your reflection and adjust your breasts in your white tank top, making sure your cleavage pokes out as temptingly as possible. 
You check yourself in the mirror with a look. Why does it matter what you look like? It’s not like you’re trying to fuck your only (almost) friend’s dad, right? Although she calls him by his first name, not Dad, so maybe there’s like a loophole or something if she’s adopted. You think about the calendar model and her perfect tits hanging on the wall over his tools. It can’t hurt to just do a little harmless flirting, right? Maybe you aren’t even his type anyway. 
After knocking on the door a couple of times, you frown, wondering if he’s not home. On the way back to your car, with your head hung in defeat, your ears perk up at the sound of something clanging in the shop. Of course! 
You skitter back to the front porch to leave your goods by the door and head for the shop to find that divorced DILF–Joel, you mean. It’s sweltering out, and sweat is beading on your chest after only a few minutes in the heat. The closer you get, the more easily you can make out the sound of his little CD player blasting another brooding, raspy ballad sung by a white man with a troubled love life. 
The garage door is shut, so you knock on the door on the side of the building. You wait a minute before testing your luck and opening the door yourself. Assessing the shop, you don’t see your man, sorry, Joel, at first glance. The music blasts, and the calendar model gives you the same impish smirk through her false lashes and a layer of dust, but there’s no Joel. The evidence clearly dictates that he’s in here somewhere, as his tools are strung around his project, the lights are on, and a beer with a sweating label sits on the edge of the workbench. 
You aren’t trying to be sneaky. You didn’t think to holler and announce your presence over the music. Plus, you didn’t fully get your bearings the last time you were here. Now, you can pick up a few more details as your eyes absorb everything they can about anything that gives you a hint about who this guy is. 
The guy that’s been haunting your dreams for a week. Last week, when you walked back to the shop with Ellie to check on your car, you nearly tripped, watching Joel wipe the sweat off his face with the bottom of his shirt. You had just caught a glimpse of the trail of hair disappearing under his jeans, but it was enough to replay in your mind every night as you created your little scenarios to carry you off to sleep. 
The scent memory was somehow worse. It was so easy to transport yourself back in time with the thought of the sweaty musk and the grease or oil smeared on his fingers. It shouldn’t turn you on, right? 
You remember thinking he seemed so knowledgeable when describing the issue. You had no idea what he was talking about, but his low voice and patience were enough to tell you he could talk you through anything. 
You notice a few other details as you enter his sacred space today. The woodworking projects, the band posters, and the pictures with Ellie and other family members tacked to the wall over another workbench. 
Still, no Joel, however. 
You circle the partially disassembled project truck and see a door to another room. It would be the office if the shop were a professional business. There’s a window along the wall, but instead of a boss watching an employee, it’s you hoping to see that brawny man and his dark curls. 
As you step closer, you nearly squeal. There he is. Well, at least, you can see the broad shoulders and back you’ve been picturing above you in bed. You practically skip to the door. It’s already open a crack, and you give it a knock, calling his name as it swings open from the force of your rapping knuckles.   
The next moment is a blur. 
“Shit, fuck, hold on!” Joel shouts gruffly as he slams the door in your face. But you already heard it. The phony wailing noises that came from the busted speaker on his phone. 
You still face the closed door, trying to process the interaction before he wrenches the door back open. He’s breathing rapidly, chest rising and falling, as he looks at you with wide eyes that quickly narrow. 
“What are you doing here?” he barks. 
Your hands fall to your sides, and you start to step back, ready to turn and run. 
He catches your fear and tries to adjust, but you’re faster. 
“Sorry,” you mumble as you turn and try to dash away. Joel’s quick, too, though, and he grabs your wrist. 
“Hey, wait,” he loosens his grip when you spin back towards him, “I just didn’t hear you comin’. Wasn’t expecting you.” 
“Sorry,” you repeat, stuttering as you continue, “I-I just, uh, just wanted to say thanks for your help last week.” You stare at the floor. Unsure why you’re embarrassed, you feel so small after he saw your face and practically shouted at you. 
“All right,” he rumbles. You’re too busy staring at the crack in the concrete floor to notice how his eyes are glued to your exposed skin. Or to see the blotchy red flush that crawls up his neck and toward his face. 
But your brain starts to catch up. Joel might’ve snapped at you, but you’re the one that caught him in the act. You don’t lift your head, but your eyes trail over his stained and faded jeans until you’re studying his crotch. 
Bingo. It’s almost too easy. You can make out the outline of his erection tucked up in his waistband. Even more glaring evidence is the open fly. You wish you had caught what he was watching. How does he like it? What does he search for when he wants to jerk off in the back office on a hot Saturday afternoon? 
He clears his throat, and you snap your attention to his face. “Was there somethin’ you needed?” He asks. 
“Yes.” You tell him you’ve got a lasagna that should get into a fridge before it reheats in the sun. He follows you toward the front door and into the house, not missing how your hips sway as you lead. 
Once the tray is shoved into the fridge, nestled between some takeout containers, he turns to thank you. “You didn’t need to do all that,” he gruffs over the cookies and homemade meal. 
You step back to lean against the counter, littered with mail and more coffee cups, and let yourself check him out up close. His faded Creed t-shirt has holes around the neck. He’s got that same sweaty man musk going on, and you wish you knew why that stirred your arousal, but your pussy lacks logic. 
“I know, I know,” you reply, “but you really saved my ass with the car, and I wanted to do something for you. You know, some way to pay you back?” 
“All right, well, thanks,” he trails off. He doesn’t seem to know what else to say. Maybe you should be on your way already, but he’s not ushering you out the door. 
This time, you do catch when his eyes drop to your chest. There’s no way you’re imagining the tension between you as you stand in his kitchen while he stares at your barely clothed tits, right? Fuck it. You’re gonna go for it. 
You take a step towards him. “I wasn’t sure if it was really enough,” your voice is soft and tempting, and your sweet perfume wafts towards him like a lust potion. Joel swallows thickly as you approach.
He knows you must’ve put it together, but he tried to delude himself. Maybe you couldn’t hear the theatrical screams of the woman he was watching get railed before he slammed the door in your face. He hopes all you heard was Chad Kroeger’s voice screaming, “This time I'm mistaken
For handin' you a heart worth breakin'” from the stereo.. on the other side of the shop. 
“You worked so hard,” you continued with one final step, and now you’re nearly toe-to-toe in front of him. “There has to be something else I could do.” You’re so close to him. He forgets to respond. It takes all his power to keep his eyes on your face. 
You have a wild urge to taste the sweat on his neck, but you keep your tongue to yourself. He hasn’t made any move to encourage you, but he hasn’t stopped you yet either, so you figure it’s worth taking a risk. 
“Maybe you’ve got a problem I could help you with.” You go for it, reaching your hand out to palm at the bulge in his jeans. 
Again, too many things happen at once. Joel snaps out a “What?” in disbelief. His hand circles your wrist tightly. His hips jerk, involuntarily bucking into your palm. Your glossy lips part into an “o” shape at the size of his not-quite-hard cock. And now you’re both locked into this position like statues. 
His fingers stay firmly wrapped around your wrist, but he doesn’t pull you away. Your fingers squeeze over his jeans, and your eyes flash wide as you can feel his cock twitch and stiffen at your touch. The touch that rapidly overrides your better judgment, drowning you in want. Your clit twitches itself in response, your nipples strain under your thin tank top, and your eyelids feel heavy immediately. 
“What are you doing?” His voice crackles like he hadn’t just used it. You slide your hand to pop the button on his jeans, and he releases your wrist as you flip it to slip your fingers under the waistband of his boxers in search of his cock. 
“Let me help,” you say in more of a whispered tone. The searing heat between Joel’s legs makes you salivate. Your fingers graze coarse curls before you acquire your target, wrapping your palm and fingers around his thick shaft. His size has your cunt throbbing in your shorts. 
Joel’s eyes are squeezed shut. He looks nearly in pain. You pull your hand back out to let the pool of saliva on your tongue drip into your palm. 
“Jesus,” he breathes out, watching your lewd maneuver. “You wanna help?” He repeats your plea in the form of a question, a little dumbfounded. He’s trying to figure out what’s happening right now. 
“I do,” you answer in a honeyed voice as you dig your hand back into his pants. He’s unable to respond with words as you swirl your palm over the head of his cock, mixing saliva and precome, but his body eggs you on. He bucks into your fist, and you work quickly, pumping his throbbing length. The slick noises are muffled by the layers of clothing, but the grunts that catch in his throat shoot piping-hot desire straight into your core. 
He looks a little desperate, eyes slammed shut again, jaw slack, arms hanging uselessly at his side. And for god knows why, the entire scene pulls a moan from your lips. The sweet sound snaps Joel back to attention. His hands shoot straight to your breasts, cupping them gently to feel them bounce against the motion of your arm wrestling with his jeans to keep stroking his cock. 
They’re so close to spilling over your tank top on their own. Joel can’t resist tugging the thin material until they spill over the top. The sight alone nearly has him coming in his pants. But then you moan so loudly when he squeezes them both and pinches at your nipples, and he really can’t stop. 
“Fuck, fuck, wait,” he spits out, but it’s too late. His hips jerk erratically, thrusting into your slick fist, and he’s coming. It coats your hand and wrist and makes an absolute mess.  You relax your grip when his whole body seems to shudder and gently remove your hand. He tries to choke his groan of frustration before it surfaces, but he immediately pauses his shame spiral when he sees you suck your come-coated fingers one by one. 
“God, that’s so fucking hot,” you tell him. At the same time, he’s muttering curses at the sight of you. You’re feeling a little giddy that all it took was your hand and showing your tits to have Joel losing control and spilling his load for you. It has your mouth curling into an impish grin. 
He’s got the sight of you half topless in his kitchen, licking your fingers, looking awfully proud of yourself, etching into his memory. Before the blood can return to his brain, he grabs you tightly by the ribs and walks you backward towards the counter. He lifts you onto it and wrenches open your shorts, yanking at them as you lift your hips so he can slide them off of you and drop them onto the kitchen floor. 
Yes! Yes! Yes! The horny little goblins in your brain shriek and chant, incited by the rough and impulsive way Joel gropes at you. It’s barbaric, and that delights you. 
Sitting on the counter, you give him such perfect access to put his mouth on your breasts that he forgets what he was going to say. He mouths at each of them wetly, his beard tickling you as he’s busy sucking marks into your delicate skin. He sucks and bites at your strained nipples until your loud whines turn into a sharp gasp, and he pulls back. 
The heavy-lidded look on your face has him diving back in for more, and you groan and arch into his touch. You rake your fingers into the curls at the back of his neck and tug at him. He grunts and moans into your skin, and it drives you wild. You need to feel him closer. 
You grab the worn cotton on his shoulders until he lets you slip the shirt over his head and drop it onto the counter next to you. It gives you the briefest moment to take in the sight of his built chest and shoulders and softer midsection with that trail of hair you had memorized. You need to taste the salt on his skin. 
Spreading your legs wider, he slots his hips against yours at the edge of the counter, and you run your tongue along his neck. You slide one of your hands down the smooth golden skin of his shoulder, and the other nestles back in his messy curls as his mouth finds yours. 
He tastes like cheap coffee and the peppermint nicotine gum parked above his teeth along the left side of his mouth. You know it’s wrong that you can’t get enough. But you're helpless when he pulls your bottom lip between his teeth, and you mindlessly roll your hips, seeking any relief. 
He’s grumbling in your ear about how it seems like you need help now, but you couldn’t care less about the words coming out of his mouth. His deep voice alone could get you off. You let out an uninhibited whine at the thought. 
“Jesus Christ,” he pulls back. His head hangs, staring at the floor. He shakes it in what you assume is disbelief. You don’t want to wait for him to think any further. You grab his hand, pulling it between your legs.
“Really, fucking, hot.” You echo your earlier declaration. Doing your best to sound assertive. You figure at least your soaked panties will prove your point. 
“Fuck,” he stifles a groan. You’re so wet it coats his fingertips through the thin material. He nudges his fingers into you, over your panties, and you whimper for him. The fabric sticks to you and makes an obscene sound as he toys with you for only seconds. “Oh, you do need my help. Hm?” 
You nod, spreading your legs wider for Joel to have access. He scoffs at you, displayed eagerly atop his kitchen counter. “Just desperate for me, aren’t ya?”
You snap your legs back shut with a glare. 
“No way,” you press, jabbing a finger into his chest, “you don’t get to laugh at me like I’m a slut for you when you just came in your pants for me.” 
His nostrils flare, and blotchy red patches creep up his neck again. You aren’t sure what kind of bear you’ve just, quite literally, poked. 
“But you are, aren’t you?” He challenges. “You came all this way in this excuse for a shirt, just for me.” 
He wedges his hand back between your closed thighs, and you relax just enough to let him work his way back to your core. Your breathing gives you away when it hitches and stutters as he traces his fingers along the hem of the fabric between your legs. You let your legs fall a little wider apart, and he sinks a finger beneath the hem and right inside of you to the knuckle. 
A whiny noise rolls in the back of your throat. 
“Shh,” he sinks a second finger inside of you, and your muscles spasm and contract, “that’s better, hmm?” He slowly pulls his fingers almost all the way out and then plunges them back in. He repeats this, and your core tenses as you writhe for him. 
“You need more?” 
“Yes.” 
“Yeah, you do.” He adds a third finger, and the slight stretch makes you hum. 
“You just need to be filled up, hm?” He teases you. Awfully confident now for a guy you just caught watching porn on his phone in a grimy back office in the middle of the afternoon. 
But your noises and impatient movements spur him on. His sticky cock is filling out his jeans again. He nearly drools at the thought of the wet walls of your cunt, currently wrapped around his fingers, sliding over his cock instead. He knows you want it, too.
“Don’t you?” He asks like you could read his mind.
“Hm?” You hum absently. Empty headed. You’re still taken by the entire pulpy, messy scene. 
Reveling in the vulnerability of being spread open on his cluttered counter as you’re both half-dressed and panting in the other’s hot breath. Any semblance of the lightness of your mood is quickly replaced with a blinding need. His fingers work into you, making obscene sounds, and then you add your own fingers. Circling your swollen clit just as he lets you in on his vision. 
“You wanna bounce on my lap. Fill this pussy with my cock.” 
“Yes,” you hiss as you hover at the edge. 
“Yeah, that’s it,” he watches your fingers working deftly over your swollen clit. The encouragement tips you over. Your body jolts erratically as you contract around his fingers, and bright sparks of pleasure course through you. 
“Yeah, you’re gonna ride me like fuckin’ champ,” he decides. You pull at his wrist when you start to feel overwhelmed, and he slides his wet fingers over your soft inner thigh. He’s ready to grab you and carry you to the couch when both of your heads snap to attention at the sound of a door slamming in the driveway. 
“Shit,” he grumbles, looking for the clock on the stove before he remembers it’s definitely not set to the right time. You move nimbly, shimmying into your shorts, snapping your straps back over your shoulder, and brushing your hair out of your face. 
“Hey, wait,” he calls for you, but you’re on the move. 
“Let me know when I can pick up the baking dish,” you call over your shoulder. Luckily, Joel’s next guest seemed to know him better. They were off to search the shop first, so you didn’t collide with anyone before you got to your car. Joel stayed locked in the kitchen, catching his breath while you started to pull away. He didn’t see that you stole his dirty Creed shirt off the counter before you skipped out the door. 
When you grab it later to wear to bed, a naughty little smile tugs at the corners of your lips. When you pull the worn fabric to your nose to inhale deeply, you wonder if it’s one of those weird pheromone matches or something because you’re sure the sweaty man musk should be wrinkling your nose. 
Instead, it makes you think of his big arms and chest filling out the shirt. And how his shoulder and back muscles ripple under his sun-bronzed skin. What they’d look like coated in a sheen of salty sweat as he railed you, bent over his workbench, under the watchful eye of the calendar model and her flirty smize. 
The image has you interrupting your own scenarios-before-bed time. Maybe Joel needs a model from this decade. You giggle, bunching up the t-shirt to snap a tasteful shot of some underboob cleavage, with the faded Creed logo on full display. 
You send it off with no context, figuring it’s self-explanatory. It’s less than a minute before your phone buzzes, and you feel the intoxicating rush rip through your body before you pick it up to see just the heading on your lockscreen: 
Joel
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part 2 here | part 3 here
divider by @cyberangel-graphics
Please let me know if you enjoyed or hated this or a secret third thing (???) heheh
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the-raindeer-king · 1 year ago
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Simon would love a little freak (affectionate) of a partner. Like you collect weird things, like taxidermy or bones? Say less, babes. He's getting you an animal skull for your birthday.
Is your thing clowns? Man is scouring the internet for some obscure clown clock because you saw it on Ebay once and complained about the price.
You likes bugs? Great, he's got a friend named Roach. Y'all be freaks (affectionate) together. But also he's building you a butterfly garden, or buying you a pet spider, or whatever.
It doesn't even have to be weird. You could just really like the ocean, or horses, or whatever. And I just realized what I'm getting at is that Simon would love a neurodivergent partner...
And he would!! He'd listen to you ramble and rant, and he'd be making a mental list of things to look for when he buys you presents. You could be hyperfixated on literally anything, and Simon would find a way to get you a present related to that interest. This man would move heaven and earth, if it meant making you happy.
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geraskierfanficprompts · 3 months ago
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Prompt 149
This prompt has been filled by me! Anyone can write more interpretations and I'd love to see them, but if you're a reader, here's mine! https://archiveofourown.org/works/63921304
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An alternate universe where everything is basically the same, except for that Witchers aren't taught anything about humans, and never truly interact with any. Witchers don't go into towns for contracts. Monster contracts are posted on boards on the outer border of towns. People must check back every day to see if the contract has a knife in it. If it does, it means the witcher is either out fulfilling it, or already has. The witcher will then walk out of the forest with proof of it's kill, you gift them clothing, food, weaponry, sometimes even a steed, and back away slowly. Geralt is a witcher. And the most monstrous of them, if you were to ask him. He has sickly skin, long unnaturally white hair, and those slitted yellow eyes of his. It doesn't matter. Roach doesn't care how he looks, and that's good enough for him. He's hoping this contract will give him some new clothes. He'd even take sewing supplies. His best shirt has a big gash in the sleeve. Which wouldn't normally bother him, he could deal with it, but Roach keeps trying to nibble on it. It's a contract for a bruxa. One that's apparently been causing a lot of issues for some "count." Disrupting parties and attempting to lure people away for the slaughter. Geralt has killed her, and has her head as proof. When he approaches the board with his proof, he sees two humans waiting for him. One of them sneers in disgust, and one of them gasps in horror, tearing up. Geralt presents the head, and then holds his hand out for his reward. The older human shoves the scared one at Geralt. The scared one stumbles as he's shoved, and looks up at Geralt with big, wet blue eyes. Geralt tilts his head and turns back to the older one. That one must be the Count. "Your reward, Witcher." "F- Father!" "Silence, Julian. I don't care what you do to him." The Count turns and leaves. 'Julian' looks at Geralt with fear. Geralt is used to that. Witchers are scary. "I- I thought Witchers only hunted monsters, why did you kill Emmaline?" "...This?" Geralt asks, holding up the head, and the human gags, but nods. "It was a monster. She was a Bruxa. A type of vampire." Julian stares blankly for a moment, before he erupts into laughter. Geralt doesn't usually see or hear laughter very often. He likes when this 'Julian' laughs! Oh, but the laughing turns to sobbing. "I should've known! Of course she didn't like my bloody songs! She liked my bloody blood!" The Julian cries, and Geralt feels awkward. He doesn't quite know how to make a human happy. This would be easier if Geralt were at his camp. He doesn't like being so close to a town. He needs to be in the woods. He scoops up his (apparently) Julian, and throws him over his shoulder and walks him back to camp. Julian is now sitting by Geralt's campfire, still crying, but now it's silent. Geralt sits down beside him. Humans comfort with touch, he thinks. He doesn't truly know. He awkwardly puts his arms around Julian, and it doesn't seem to working.... Aha! Because the tears are still coming! Geralt can fix that! Geralt leans in and licks the salty water away. Julian starts laughing again, and finally relaxes. Geralt did it! He's such a good humankeeper! Having a human around is difficult, but Geralt is quite happy with this new arrangement! Geralt smiles a lot more than he used to. His human is adorable, and he's funny! And Geralt is learning so much more about humans! But sometimes that's horrifying. Geralt learned humans need to eat every day, so Geralt has begun hunting more. Julian didn't tell him this fact, Geralt had to learn it by himself when Julian fainted one day. Geralt also learned that humans are delicate things. Julian tripped over a root in the ground and ended up bleeding! BLEEDING! Geralt nearly lost it, that day. He licked his scratch clean, and bandaged his human, and kept a grip on his arm the rest of the day to balance him. They're sensitive, too.
The night had a light breeze, or so Geralt thought. Julian was shaking, teeth chattering, breaths visible. Hm. Perhaps it was colder than Geralt thought. He drags the human over, making Julian let out an odd "whoop!" sound, and wraps his arms around him. Julian scoots closer before settling, wrapping around geralt.
Humans are also curious. Too curious. Julian followed him on a hunt once and almost got hurt. Geralt shouted at him, immediately felt horrible, and apologized, but made sure to let Julian know that Julian was the one who did something stupid. Geralt thinks about getting a leash to keep his human safe at camp, but he doesn't think Julian would go for it.
His human seems happy! Until he doesn't. All of a sudden he's walking slower, and constantly frowning, and he sighs every few minutes! It's driving Geralt crazy not knowing how to fix it! He's tried all the things that have worked before! He licked him, he hugged him, he let him pet Roach, he made him a bigger portion of food, but nothing is working!
"What troubles you?" "…Hm? Oh, sorry. It's just… I wanted to be a bard. Before." "Before?" "…My father.. Sold me to you, Geralt."
Oh yeah.
"…What's a bard?" "G- Geralt, you don't know what a bard is?" "No." "Why, it's simply the best career out there! At least for me. Bards make music. They travel the continent singing their sweet melodies and sharing their feelings and hope to every townsperson out there. Farmers and nobles alike love a good bard."
Julian twitters on some more about these 'bard' titles.
"How do you become a bard?" "Well, you need an instrument. I had a lute, once. And you write songs in a notebook or journal. And all you have to do is sing them."
Thus Geralt makes a plan. Geralt goes searching for these items, loots here and there, and he believes he has a perfectly functional 'lute' and a journal. Geralt has a journal. It's too full of monsters to be given to his human, though. His human deserved one just for his songs.
When Geralt gave these items to his human, his human started sobbing. Shit! But Julian insists it's "happy" sobbing??? That's a thing? Humans will also cry when happy? Geralt will take note of this.
Geralt's Julian is MUCH happier now! And he makes such nice noises! He sings for Geralt all the time now. He strums his lute, and sings, and when he's not doing that, he's humming, and when he's not doing that, he's excitedly chatting away to Geralt, and it all makes him so happy. His human is happy! He likes his little human friend. And Geralt now knows for sure his human friend likes him back.
"Though it hurt so much at the time, I'm so very glad my father gave me to you. I've truly never been happier."
It appears Julian's last humankeepers were bad at their job, despite being humans themselves. Oh well. Doesn't matter now. Geralt would never rehome him.
Thus comes Geralt's problem. Winter is coming. He needs to head to the keep. He can keep his human alive up the path, Geralt's sure of it. He's skilled in humankeeping by now. But the actual staying part is what scares him. What if when Julian meets the other witchers, he finds one that can keep him even happier than Geralt? What if Geralt loses his Julian!? It's just unthinkable!
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fixfoxnox · 2 years ago
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This is beginning to look less like a fic and more like Canon lads /j
With every "Roach is ghosts dead fiance 🥺" or "Roach sent soap for ghost 🥺" I grow stronger. And one day, I will have enough strength to write a purely vindictive fic where SOAP is ghosts dead ex fiance and ghost falls in love with ROACH.
I'm gonna pull a switcheroo on them
Anyways GhostRoachSoap for the win
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zombiewidow · 3 months ago
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COCK AND ROACHES(get it?)
gross!gamer!g!pnatasha x fem!reader
REQUEST
tw: natasha being disgusting AGAIN, natasha having a dick, blowjob, cum swallowing, r is under the desk :), dirty talk and did i mention natasha is GROSS! i think thats all?
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You knew your red-headed girlfriend had always struggled to keep her room tidy. But today, it was the worst it had been in a while: the lingering stench of rotting food accompanied by roaches roaming the hard wooden floor and a swarm of small fruit flies hovering over the dirty plates that were scattered everywhere. It was getting out of hand, and that was putting it nicely.
Natasha had been festering in her gaming room for almost a week now, only vacating the four walls to stare at the fridge or go to the bathroom. It was obvious she was only using the toilet and hadn’t had a shower within that week or even brushed her teeth. Your girlfriend was glued to her screens, eyes fixated on the pixels that presented her with whatever she wanted and her ears covered with the headset you had bought her as a birthday present a year ago. You regret giving her those noise-cancelling ones.
The curtains remained closed whether it was day or night, even a hint of sunshine caused Natasha to shimmy away and hiss as if she were a vampire. It was as if she was allergic to the outside world, that's how dramatic she was as a person. You had tried to persuade her or encourage her to either clean her room or just step outside for a moment of fresh air but that didn’t work, which was why you were in this uncomfortable situation right now, knelt under Natasha’s desk while she continued to play the newest release of some game or whatever she was playing. Your knees already aching due to the lack of a cushion underneath them and your hair getting attached to the occasional piece of pre-chewed chewing gum that your girlfriend had stuck on the underside of her desk. You did wonder why she had a habit of doing that when the overfilled trash can was a few centimetres away from her but is to her own.
You thought, since your other ways of persuasion had failed you, making a simple deal with Natasha would give her the motivation to do what you want her to do. However, you didn’t the expect her side of the deal to be so… bold. “Come on Babe, you said you would do anything I want.” Your gamer girlfriend said, her voice slightly raised since she couldn’t exactly hear herself because of her headset. You let out a deep and heavy sigh before moving your hands, guiding them to the waistband of her filthy and stained sweatpants that you hadn’t seen her change in the past 4 days. “I’m getting there,” you replied, mainly to yourself.
Pulling down her sweatpants was a mission within itself since she wouldn’t lift her ass up from the chair to at least give you a helping hand but once you did, it wasn’t difficult to notice the overly large bulge within her Batman boxers, the bat symbol slightly stretched as the enlarged clothed cock strained against it. It had been a while since you and Natasha had partaken in such lewd actives because of her awful gaming habits and your hardworking ass having two jobs so it was slightly jarring and brought a red tint to your cheeks when you remembered her cock wasn’t exactly small. You had been in your head for awhile that you hadn’t noticed Natasha had taken her headset off and moved her attention to you, her fingers running through your hair while a cunning smirk formed on her face.
“You gonna stare at it or do something about it? Because I don’t think staring was a part of the deal, pretty girl.” Although your girlfriend had a huge dick, you swear she was a bigger dick. Always cocky, demanding and the list goes on but you suppose she was right. You pull down her sweatpants and tug them off her feet, shoving them aside as you start to work on her underwear.
“You know, you’re awfully commanding for a girl who won't clean her room without throwing a tantrum like a child.” You answered back with an attitude causing the redhead to chuckle. Prick, you thought. Pulling down her boxers down allowed her cock to spring free and almost slap you in the face, the raging and vivid veins that littered her shaft caused you to clench around nothing while the tip started to bead and drip with precum. “Fuck,” you whispered under your breath which caused her member to twitch as your breath met the sensitive skin. Her grip on your hair tightened as she sucked the air through her teeth and bucked her hips, she was definitely as sex deprived as you.
Natasha gently guided your mouth to the tip of her cock with impatience, her breath becoming heavier in anticipation which caused you to swallow and shift on your knees. You reached up and carefully wrapped your hand around her member as your lips made contact with the glistening tip. Your girlfriend let out a soft moan as your lips met the light pink head of her cock, running her fingers through your hair as her grip loosened slightly but you knew it was a silent indication for you to go further. “Good girl, fuck it’s been a while since you’ve been on your knees for me.” She whispered in a sweet but sickly tone of voice. “Open your mouth for me, baby.”
As she spoke those words in a tone that made your knees weak and your brain foggy, you obliged. Opening your mouth just wide enough for her to slide in with ease, the familiar saltiness of her precum reached your tastebuds, however, something was different. You pull back slightly with a scrunched-up face filled with disgust and confusion. “Natty, when was the last time you had a shower?” you tried to ask but was violently cut short as she gripped your hair and pushed her dick into your mouth with a smirk. “Shhhh.”
You let out a slight gag as she shoved her dick into your mouth without warning, your body twitching as you tried to pull away. “Shh, take it deeper.” She reassured as she guided your head to bob up and down her shaft, the taste of sweat and uncleanliness filled your mouth as your girlfriend let out moans of pleasure. Natasha looked down at you with a mixture of lust and adoration, the way you perfectly fitted under her desk and between her legs made her cock twitch in your mouth. “Look at you, on your knees for me 'cause you wanted me to clean my room. You that desperate, hm?”
As your mind tried to unscramble its thoughts and become aware of your surroundings, you finally realised what was happening. Your tongue swirled around her cock with each bob of your head, tracing each vein while the sounds of slurping and minimal gagging filled the room and the music from her paused game fell into melody with yours. The corners of your eyes started to water with each movement, the tip of your girlfriend’s cock hitting the back of your throat as you angled your head slightly to look up at her with your half-lidded and dilated eyes. “You’re taking me so well, Detka.” she moaned.
As she began to thrust her hips, which she was never gentle with doing, a low and needy growl escaped her lips which indicated she was close. The way her chest rose and fell rapidly and her hips already began to stutter, the way her head fell back against her gaming chair and gripped your hair tightly, your strands tangled around her fingers. Your tears ran down your flushed cheeks, leaving trails behind as drool dripped down your chin and down her cock to soak her balls. “Fuck, I’m close already,” Natasha said with a pathetic whimper, tilting her head down again to take a glimpse at you staring up at her. “I’m gonna cum in your mouth, make you swallow it.
But before you could register her words, she buried herself deep inside your throat as salty ropes of cum flooded your mouth and traveled down your throat. Your back hunched slightly as you held back a cough due to the sudden invasion of white liquid, your nose touching her pelvis and your chin touching her balls. “Shit!” Your girlfriend exclaimed in ecstasy with an arched back and her face scrunched up, her mouth agape slightly as she grunts with each load.
“Swallow it all, Pretty girl,” Natasha whispered breathlessly, smiling and giggling to herself as her high settles down. As Natasha slowly pulls her cock out and you manage to finally swallow all of her cum, she taps her dick on your cheek to release any excess seed onto your skin. “I’ll definitely clean my room now.” She mumbled with that stupid cocky tone.
๋࣭ ⭑🕸🦇🕸๋࣭ ⭑
AUTHORS NOTE:
i dont know why this took me so many days to write… i guess i just wanted to describe how GROSS AND DISGUSTING natasha is :) but i think i fr need to take up smoking again after this fucking oneshot. ALSO WHOEVER THE 🧸-ANON IS I HOPE THIS IS OKAY FOR YOUUUU!!!
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