#same with Hermes TuT | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

britishassistant · 4 years ago

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What happens if a new villain comes to town and starts tearing shit up? Like a new rival shows up, falls in love with yuu, and kidnaps them before enacting a huge take over the city scheme, will the NRC and RSA finally come together for the same goal? Or would it lead to chaotic in-fighting in their individual attempts to rescue the reporter and save the city/stop this jerk face from showing them up only for yuu to break out just so they can knock them all upside the head?

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

“It’s so simple, love.” The villain coos, one hand cupping Yuu’s chin gently to tilt their face up, “Just accept my proposal, and we won’t need to have any nasty accidents where you and the tarmac down there have a...terminal disagreement.”

Yuu glances down at the drop from where they’ve been “tied” to the top of the skyscraper by the metal beams that the supervillain bent around their body like they were rubber. They think they can see a flock of pigeons flapping by below them. “That’s your idea of a threat? Really? Because I’ve heard worse over breakfast. Sorry, but I really don’t think we have the right chemistry to accept marriage to the likes of you.”

The villain pouts, leaning against the tip of the building as if they were a pair of people chatting on the streets far below, and not one hapless captive tied to an antenna and their captor floating with nary a second thought in midair. “Oh c’mon now love. Don’t make this more difficult than it has to be—you know that I could do far better with your Daddy’s little league than any of those second-rate bozos crowding around you.”

The reporter’s gaze sharpens, the corner of their mouth curling up in a snarl. “Don’t. Refer to them. Like that. They’re each seven times the supervillain you are, at least. Besides, I’d rather be turned into pancake mix on the pavement than do anything that could advance that man’s little projects.”

The villain tuts, coiffed hair ruffled by the breeze as he leans in far closer than Yuu is comfortable with. “Don’t play hard to get, love. So you’ve got Daddy issues, who doesn’t? It’s no reason to get in the way of progress. Maybe you’ll change your mind if I show you exactly what I can offer...”

Yuu recoils as the villain’s tongue forces its way into their mouth when their lips collide with all the force of a car crash, an invasive writhing thing that makes them gag at how far it pushes in as the villain hums greedily at their taste.

And one that the reporter swiftly brings their teeth down on.

Hard.

“FUCK! Ugh—you foul little bitch!!”

The backhand jars the reporter’s skull even as they brace for it, cutting the inside of their mouth and leaving them worried that if they try spitting out the blood gathering there, they’ll lose a tooth along with it.

The villain huffs, one hand carding through his ruffled hair. His tongue is already whole and unblemished, the last indents of their teeth healing as the reporter watches. “I didn’t want to do this, you know. I would’ve gladly taken you to the altar, and had you screaming in our wedding bed. I could’ve made you happy, if you’d just do what you’re told.”

Yuu sneers. “Frankly, I can’t imagine anything more boring.”

They take cold comfort in the fury that burns in the supervillain’s eyes at that.

“Fine. Fine.” The villain floats away, his eyes glowing that same bright red that melted through the wall to Yuu’s bedroom when they were first taken. “I was prepared to do this the nice way. I wanted to do this the nice way. But if you’re going to be such a little bitch about it, then I can always rely on the old fashioned method of succession.”

The laser beams swipe through the block of abandoned offices four stories below where the reporter is tied up.

The top of the building wavers, then begins to crumble forwards.

The villain says something else, probably something mocking and challenging them to get out of this mess because that’s the kind of cliche line that’s always used here, but Yuu can’t hear him over the whistle of the wind in their ears and the scream torn from their throat as they plummet.

They try frantically tug their arms free as their legs are pulled upwards by gravity, try their damndest to squirm free, but it’s no use, they’re not The Prefect right now, don’t even have the fedora on them, they’re Yuu, just Yuu, just helpless reporter Yuu, who can’t break steel beams with their pathetic powerless normal person strength, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, they’re going to die, oh Great Seven, they’re going to die—!

“KING'S ROAR!!!”

There’s a discombobulating moment of freefall as the metal and concrete around them disintegrates into sand.

Then a strong, wiry arm loops around their waist and they’re pinned to a carpet as their rapid descent gradually slows to a stop in midair.

“Need a lift?” They can’t see Snake Charmer’s eyebrows through the mask, but they get the feeling one of them is raised in a wry fashion as he smirks at them.

The reporter lets out a hysterical, shaky laugh that only narrowly escapes becoming a sob, trembling hands seizing onto the two supervillains like they’re lifelines. “Wh-what took y-you so long? Did you ge-get held up in traffic?”

King grumbles, flicking their temple gently as Water Boy laughs gleefully from where he’s steering the carpet. “You could show a little more gratitude, herbivore. Do you know how hard it was to evade all the goody-two-shoes on the way here to save your ass?”

Yuu’s about to reply, when they catch a movement above them out of the corner of their eye.

“INCOMING!!”

Water Boy jerks the flying carpet to the side just in time for the villain to plunge past them fist-first, close enough to see his teeth bared in a furious snarl.

“DRIVE!!” Snake Charmer screams at his lieutenant above the rushing wind as the villain rises back up to try his luck again. Water Boy presses the corners of the carpet forwards and they go into a rollercoaster dive that makes the reporter’s stomach roil in protest.

King unleashes his powers on the two buildings behind them, disintegrating the foundations in hopes that the tonnes of concrete and rebar would be enough to slow the flying brick chasing them. The villain just bursts through the obstacles with nary a broken sweat, and speeds up to the point where Water Boy has to turn the carpet upside down so they don’t get knocked out of the sky.

“Where the fuck is that computer junkie?!?” King yells at Snake Charmer as they draw dangerously close to the road below. “He was supposed to be here hours ago!!”

“How am I supposed to know?!” They can hear Snake Charmer’s heartbeat hammer in his chest from where he’s pinning them to the vehicle in the absence of a seatbelt. “It was the conman who was meant to give him the si—”

Yuu can barely scream a warning in time as the villain looms behind Leona’s head, eyes glowing red and ready.

A rush of flying metal harpies collide with the bastard’s face, effectively pinning him in midair as he struggles to destroy the thousands-strong swarm that obstructs his path to them.

“OPEN FIRE!!” Comes Hermes’ high-pitched cry as a blue beam shoots past them at the center of the robotic maelstrom.

A pair of red lasers rocket out to meet it, almost seeming as though it could push Ortho’s assault back—!

A white-hot streak of lightening descends from the formerly clear sky to where the villain was pinned, disrupting the red eye lasers and allowing Hermes’ beam to make contact.

There’s a hideous scream and the stench of burnt meat.

“We’re coming in too fast!!” Water Boy yells, tugging on the carpet’s tassels until they’re almost vertical. “Ja—I, I don’t know if we’ll slow down in time!!”

Yuu barely hears the curses the other two occupants spit, lunging to try and cover as much of them as they can with their body. Even if they crash, if Yuu can just absorb most of the shock of the landing—!

Small pinpricks of pain latch onto their scalp, their pajamas, the carpet and supervillains beneath them, hundreds of small beating appendages smacking them all in the face as the carpet’s rapid descent slows incrementally.

“Oh boys~?”

Four sets of strong hands seize the front of the carpet, their owners grunting as they attempt to force the carpet’s stop through sheer force. Of course, the continued existence of Newton’s Third Law combined with the reporter’s precarious shielding position means that though the carpet experiences sudden stop, Yuu keeps going at the same high speed that will ensure serious injury once they hit the tarmac.

Or it would do, if they didn’t collide with a solid chest and waiting pair of arms first.

The reporter finds themselves cradled in a nearly crushing grip, their catcher muttering “child of man, child of man,” into the top of their head and a warm thumb swipes over the rapidly darkening bruise on their cheek. The wind picks up around them alarmingly, whipping into a gale.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, I’m okay.” Yuu reaches up to pat Tsunotaro’s head soothingly. “See? Just a few scrapes and a little scare. Give me an ice pack and a shower and I’ll be right as rain.”

Tsunotaro doesn’t look very convinced, but at least the wind drops to more of a strong breeze.

“Oi, let ‘em down, you dumb lizard.” King growls behind the reporter, the rings on his tail clattering as it swishes irritably. “We did all the work of saving them, you don’t get to take the rewards.”

Tsunotaro clutches them closer, getting that stubborn look in his eyes that makes Yuu want to groan in exasperation. “No.”

“Why you—!”

“Now, now children, the world works in mysterious ways.” Batman beams. “I’ve always found destiny draws those it finds most suitable together.”

The reporter rolls their eyes as King snarls in response to that remark and Snake Charmer mutters, “I didn’t know ‘destiny’ was what you called interfering old fools.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.” Snake Charmer climbs off the carpet and straightens his headscarf. “What’s next?”

There’s a crash as the mass of robots pinning the singed villain about three blocks down the street begins to shift, however unwillingly.

“‘Kay, the ‘save the princess’ team barely cleared the parameters for their part of the mission.” Charon’s floating tablet drifts forward, the sounds of frantic tapping on a keyboard almost drowning out his voice. “Now it’s time for the ‘aggro’ and ‘debuff’ teams to move in, Tsuntaro-sshi, Royal-sshi.”

“Understood. I’ll leave the coordinating of the others to you, Charon.” Royal Flush looks up and raises an unimpressed eyebrow at the tall fae. “Well? Are you coming?”

Yuu could almost swear they hear a small grumble as Tsunotaro finally lets them down out of his grasp. He runs his thumb over their injured cheek one last time. “Sebek, Silver. Defend the reporter as you would me.”

“Yes, Tsunotaro-sama!” The two of them chorus.

Royal Flush shakes his head, then reaches out and squeezes Yuu’s hand once. “If anything happens, Three of Clovers and Howl-san will get you somewhere safe. But this shouldn’t take long.”

“Oi, don’t presume to give orders to my minion, Flush.” King growls, inserting himself bodily between the two of them. His mouth curls up in a smirk as he places a proprietary hand on top of their head. “Besides, I’ll be here, won’t I?”

Royal Flush and Tsunotaro narrow their eyes at him, but their attention is claimed by the sound of metal crashing down the street as the villain shrugs off the rubble, the burns on his arms and face healing rapidly as they watch. His eyes flicker over their motley group, before settling on Yuu with laser-precision.

It’s only the arrow that flies into his shoulder, combined with a second lightening bolt striking him from the blue that keeps that metaphor from becoming literal.

Yuu chokes a little at the pressure on their pajama shirt collar as they’re dragged out of the line of fire. From where they’re crouched behind a car, they can see Tsunotaro and Hermes throwing almost everything he’s got as the bastard, while Royal tries to close the distance without ending up attacked himself. They also catch a glimpse of who they think is Leviathan silently gliding closer through the alleys on the far side of the street.

But the villain just won’t stop getting back up. Despite the fact that anyone sane would’ve given up the moment the green flames were broken out, he keeps coming, no matter how many times he gets thrown back.

And he’s clearly getting closer to the reporter he so desperately wants to kill.

“Now what?” Yuu asks, barely able to hear themselves think over the worried growl rumbling from Jack’s chest.

Charon’s muttering to himself as more of his robots fly by overhead. “Need to pin down the rate of regen, if we can get that and surpass it so the ‘debuff’ team can do their thing before the second wave gets here, but what is it?”

The reporter blinks. Well, taking into account the insult, and the backhand...

“He was able to heal his tongue about...four, maybe five seconds after I’d bitten through it? That’s only a rough estimate though, it may’ve been shorter.” They murmur.

The area around them goes very quiet.

“B-bitten through...?” Water Boy asks, hand coming up to his own mouth with a wince.

Yuu scowls. “That creep put it in my mouth when I did not ask him to. Ugh, I would’ve gone for his balls too, but the metal didn’t let me lift my legs that far.”

They huff for a moment at the unfairness of it. Then, “King, stop grinning at me like that.”

“Like what herbivore?” His tone is the picture of innocence, even if the way he’s eying them is most decidedly not.

Snake Charmer ‘accidentally’ kicks him in the shin as the sound of frantic typing erupts from the tablet again. “Setting the Erinyes to follow up on Ortho’s and Tsunotaro-sshi’s attacks within a three point five second time frame...fwe he he he, let’s see how that mob likes this!”

With the clack of what sounds like an enter key, the robots above them begin divebombing the villain in sequence, deliberately targeting the parts of him injured by Tsunotaro and Hermes’ blows.

One of them sacrifices itself in a kamikaze dive that leaves a bleeding scratch on his arm.

The villain roars, the force of his fury almost knocking them over even with how far away their little group is crouched, turning the lasers on every robot within his line of sight.

Of course, this means he stops paying attention to the three supervillains who have been steadily making their way towards him.

“FAIREST ONE OF ALL!”

“IT’S A DEAL!”

“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”

The powers hit the villain one after another, his lasers sputtering out with a pained scream. The scratch on his arm doesn’t start healing. Neither does the gash he gets across his face when Poison Queen roundhouse kicks him away with those stilettos of his.

“Was that it?” Leviathan says, his careless facade somewhat ruined by the fact that he wobbles as he begins to levitate. “I must confess I don’t understand what all the tr-trouble was.”

A low whistle by their ear makes Yuu jump. “The bosses can be scary when they wanna be. Remind me never to piss off those three at once.”

The reporter look up to see Ace and Floyd standing behind them. “Ace, wha—where have you been?!”

Floyd giggles and Ace shoots them an evil grin as they chorus, “Sending out party invites~”

Yuu blinks and tries to puzzle out this cryptic phrase, but their attention is swiftly drawn back to the scene of the battle at the sound of manic, unhinged laughter.

“You think you’ve won? You think something like this will stop me?!” The villain cackles, eyes wild and beginning to grow red again despite the way his body tenses and the collar around his neck starts to buckle. “You think that second-rate half-hearted hacks like you can stop someone like me?!? I am your superior!! You all will bend the knee once I snap that ungrateful little bitch’s neck and take my rightful place as head of the League!!! I’ll decimate every last one of those pathetic, moronic heroes who pollute this city like a fungus!! And then, oh , and then I’ll make every last one of you who thought they could get away with this pitiable attempt to stop me—”

“Us? Here to stop you?” Poison Queen tilts his head. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re supervillains.”

“Stopping the likes of you.” Leviathan proclaims triumphantly, “Is their job.”

The villain stops.

The villain turns.

Over half the top heroes of the Royal Sword Association lead here by the minions meet his gaze.

“Hello.” Niko Niko Neko says with a wide grin.

Yuu isn’t close enough to hear if the villain whimpers, but they almost wish they were.

Almost.

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fanmoose12 · 4 years ago

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As all horrible things do, it starts out with a peaceful moment.

The day, when it begins, is humid and hot, the promise of storm is prominent in the air.

But for now, it's just a promise, and Levi allows himself not to worry. The large tree hides him in its shadow, the grass providing a soft pillow for his body, and Hange is pressed against him, her fingers writing the secrets of universe on his skin.

She murmurs something to him, too soft for Levi to catch. He means to ask her to repeat it, but then his eyes meet hers, and the honey brown of her irises entrances him so much that everything else flies out of his head. He thinks of making love to her right there and then, with the sun as their witness. That douche Apollo would certainly like it...

His lewd plans must have reflected on his face, because Hange shakes her head and tuts, "Levi, Levi... You don't listen to me. What if I was going to say something important?"

"Everything you say is important."

It slips out of his lips unprompted, unexpected. Levi blames in on the sun. Apollo, that deceiving bastard, must have loosen his tongue.

Hange widens her eyes and her mouth falls open in an expression of pure wonder as though Levi has done something incredible.

"Oh, Levi," she whispers, her voice softer than the wind.

She props herself on her elbows to raise up and get closer to him. There is a smile on her face, one that tells him that Hange is going to kiss him. One that promises that the kiss is going to be full of passion, sweetness and love.

Hange hovers just above him, only inches separating their lips. Levi waits for her to shorten that distance, and just before Hange does...

Someone behind them clears their throat. Levi and Hange abruptly turn around, staring at their intruder. Due to the scorching sun and the promise of that kiss that haven't been fulfilled, it takes Levi a long moment to recognise who has disturbed them.

As soon as he does, he hurries to hide Hange behind his back, protecting her with his body.

The god's messenger - Hermes - laughs and takes a step forward. Levi tenses, pushing Hange back just a little further. He doesn't trust gods, never did. And he has a damn good reason for that.

The messenger stays silent for a lengthy moment, and Levi starts to hope - maybe, it's just a mistake. Maybe, he'll leave them alone. The hope grows and grows until-

Until Hange opens her mouth.

"Did Apollo get jealous of our quiet afternoon? Does he wish to join?"

The joke is ill-timed, ill-advised and all around terrible. Levi should have scolded Hange. Instead he snorts alongside her.

Hermes doesn't bat an eye. He doesn't even glance at Hange, as though Levi is the only one here. Perhaps he should feel relieved that Hange is supposedly sparred from god's anger for one deed or another. However, he feels a slight irritation at the apparent disregard for her person.

"Levi," the god speaks. "You have been summoned to the Mount Olympus. Come with me and I'll take you there."

The words spoken surprise him, but Levi doesn't let it show on his face.

"No," he says resolutely. "I have no business with gods."

"You have now."

Something in Levi snaps at the indifferent tone of the messenger's voice. He means to raise up, to come closer to him, but Hange holds him back, her touch both reassuring and calming.

"What do you want from Levi?" she asks, and Hermes shoots her nothing more than a quick, uninterested glance.

"It doesn't concern you."

Levi's anger boils to a frightening point. God or no god, Levi won't let anyone treat Hange like that.

"Whatever concerns me, concerns Hange too. So answer her question, or leave and don't come back."

"And why did I even bother..." Hermes mutters.

He raises his hand, snaps his finger and- and Levi starts falling.

When he opens his eyes, the peaceful afternoon, the scorching sun, Hange's warm body - it's all gone. What he has now is a cold, marble floor and dozen pairs of eyes staring down at him from giant, grand thrones.

Instinctively, he reaches out for Hange only to find that both of his hands are bound.

"Hange-" everything else dies on his tongue, when he sees Hange with two men restraining her. Levi furiously fights against his bounds, desperate to get to her, to make sure she is safe and unharmed.

Hange meets his eyes and shakes her head. Calm down, I'm fine, her gaze tells him, don't do anything stupid.

Levi wants to do something stupid so badly, he wants to free himself and hurt those who dared to lay hands on his Hange. He wants to unleash his anger and destroy everything and everyone here, leaving nothing behind.

But it's not a shady tavern, Levi reminds himself. It's a Pantheon, and one should never anger gods. It was the first lesson Levi's childhood taught him.

That lesson is the one he would never forget, so more for Hange's sake than his own, he forces himself to forget about his anger. He turns to look straight ahead and nearly chokes as he comes face to face with him.

He saw that man only twice in his life, back when he was no more than a skinny brat. Levi thought him a mere human back then, not an almighty god, the king of kings.

He didn't change since since then - the same lushious brown hair, the same piercing green eyes, the same infuriating smirk.

All this time Levi thought that the man who killed his mother was a wealthy merchant or an influential politician. A powerful, yet simple mortal. Turns out, his mother's murderer is Zeus himself.

But reverence before god's might and fear of their punishment doesn't ease Levi's anger. The desire to hurt the man in front of him only grows.

"Kneel," someone behind him urges, but Levi only raises his chin in defiance. He would rather visit the Underworld and stay there than kneel before that scum.

"Kneel," they demand again. Levi stays unmoving. He stares at his so called father with all fury in the world. If Zeus is really his his father, if he is really a son of the king of gods himself, then if he glares hard enough, maybe, the bastard will go up in flames. Maybe, the lightining will strike him or-

The pained grunt interrupts Levi. He looks to his left to see Hange- his Hange lying on a floor with her face pressed to cold marble and a man standing above her, his foot on her back. Levi wants to rage, wants to kick and scream and tear the man who dared to touch her to pieces.

But it will do him no good. It will do Hange no good, so he surrenders.

He gets down on one knee and bows his head - not in reverence, but to hide his burning eyes.

His father laughs. "Welcome to my palace, son. How do you like it?"

I don't, Levi wants to say, but they have Hange. And her wellbeing is more important than his petty anger.

"It's marvelous, all songs don't do it justice," Hange's voice rings. Levi turns to her with wide eyes, even now, bound and overpowered, she tries to protect him. "Is there a reason you were gracious enough to invite us here, my lord?"

"A fierce one," his father chuckles approvingly. He raises his hand, waves it and Hange starts to scream. "But not very smart. Mortals have no right to speak up in this place."

Levi's vision clouds with specks of violent red. His hands are shaking with anger and rage, he desperately wants to-

Hange catches his eye and subtly shakes her head. I'll be fine, my love, she wordlessly tells him, hush and don't fret.

Levi tries his best to do as Hange says. He raises his head and meets his father's eyes.

"Why did you call me up here?" keeping his voice straight and calm takes a considerate effort, but Levi does his best. For Hange.

"My son," the allfather's voice carries around the large chamber. "I have a job for you. The Titans have risen up in power. They seek to have my place, to take what it's rightfully mine. I need you to destroy them for me."

Destroy... Titans? Even the notion of it was ridiculous. Do gods have no one else that'd be more suited for this job?

"I'm not strong enough for this mission," he says. "Find someone more powerful than me."

"You're my son," Zeus' eyes flash with anger. "There is no one more powerful and skillful than you. You will do this for me, Levi. Or..."

His father shifts his gaze to Hange, a smirk pulling on his lips. "Or I'll do to your lover the same thing I did to your mother. And the child that grows inside her will suffer an even more horrible fate."

A child? Levi's heart falls. He slowly turns to Hange, but she seems just as bewildered by this. She looks down to her stomach, then back up at Levi. Her eyes fill with understanding, and then - they start to fill with rebelious fire. Hange is not afraid, but that feeling has always been unknown to her.

Levi, on the other hand, is afraid. He is terrified for Hange, for their child, but he doesn't let fear get to his head.

If his father insists on him fulfilling this mission, Levi will submit. On his own conditions.

"I see you've already saw the reason," Zeus smiles. "My son, with time you'll realize what an honor I've bestowed upon you. You will be sung about in songs, you will be remembered and praised for the rest of your life."

Levi wants to scoff, as if he desires to have any of it. His only wish is to have a peaceful life with his Hange and their child, without any gods or deities interfering.

"And if you're so worried about succeeding, I'll give you the means to defeat every foe. You'll receive my lightining bolts..."

"No," Levi says. "You will give them to Hange."

His father laughs again. "Until you defeat my enemies, son, your lover stays with me."

A shudder runs through Levi at the thought of leaving Hange behind with him. The memories of his mother's corpse flash through his mind,and straighten his resolve.

"Hange will come with me, or I won't go at all."

The lightening cackles in the air.

"Are you trying to bargain with me, boy? Don't anger me, or your lover..."

"Lift a finger in her direction, and you'll have to look for another child of yours. I may not be able defeat you, father," he spits the word like a curse. "And every other god that will want to stop me, but hurt Hange and I will certainly try. You need me to defeat Titans for you, and I need Hange with me."

Somewhere behind Levi, the lightening strikes, the thunderous ripples reverberating through the marble floor and walls. Levi doesn't flinch.

His father nods, as though he is impressed. "You clearly are my son. you're just as fiery. I wanted to keep your lover safe, but be it as you wish, the mortal will go with you. I should warn you, however, the journey won't be an easy one."

"Hange is strong. And without her, I'm ten times weaker."

Zeus waves his hand at the soldiers that hold Hange. They release her, and Levi instantly reaches out, firmly grasping her hand. Already, he feels that much calmer.

"You have nine moons to finish your mission, my son. If the child of that mortal is born and the nine Titans still don't meet their end, I'll take the child and kill your lover. I'll be watching your journey. And I hope you won't disappoint me."

Levi can barely nod, before the world around him changes again.

He's back in their little garden once more, and as soon as he catches his footing, he pulls Hange to him and holds her in his arms.

He inhales the sweet scent of hers, his whole body trembling. Apologies want to tumble from his mouth, but Hange interrupts his laments with a low laughter.

"So your father is Zeus himself? I should be more careful while making love to you from now on... What if I make you feel so good, you'd start blasting lightening from fingertips?"

It's just like Hange to find a joke in everything. Levi can't help but chuckle along with her.

"Maybe, it'll knock some sense into you..."

"You've knocked me up already, my love," Hange giggles, and Levi wants to kick her. He also wants to bury himself in her embrace and stay there for all eternity.

"That's all you've got to say?" he takes a step back to glance into her sparkling eyes. "What about my father? Aren't you surprised?"

"My love," Hange cups his cheek, leaving a ghost of a kiss on his lips. "Why must I be surprised? I always knew you were special."

***

It takes them a whole month to track the first Titan.

He is huge, bigger that Levi could ever imagine, but he’s also old and barely able to move when they find him.

Levi slices his neck and marvels at how easy it was. Hange runs up to him as soon as the Titan disappears and gives him a kiss that makes him weak in the knees.

She gives him a wide smile when they separate, and Levi smiles right back.

One Titan out of nine is defeated, and Hange didn’t even have to get involved. That gives them more than enough reason to celebrate, and they do it under the stars near the glistering lake.

Hange punctuates every kiss with a sweet praise and soft confession. When Levi is near his peak, she draws back and curves her lips in a tantalizing smirk.

“Careful now, my love,” she teases, while Levi can’t do nothing but huff and grunt at her. “Don’t kill me with your lightening…”

“I won’t if you do the job right,” he shoots back, pulling Hange down for another kiss.

She laughs as he nibbles at her jaw and lets Levi flip them around, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“If I die in your arms, Levi,” she whispers. “I’d shame the gods themselves with my happiness.”

***

Their next victim is harder to defeat. He’s not so big, but he seems younger. When Levi approaches, his blade already drawn, the creature grows mad with rage.

Levi gestures for Hange to stay back, and she does.

Up until the Titan launches his first attack.

Levi docks but not to evade the Titan’s massive arm. Hange starts throwing the lightning bolts they got from Zeus, aiming them with breathtaking precision. The creature roars, as one of the bolts hits him right in his eyes.

“Levi, go!” Hange shouts, and he doesn’t waste another second. He cuts the Titan’s legs and waits for him to fall. When he inevitably does, Levi is already there, right next to his nape. He slashes it without hesitation.

Hange lets out a joyous cry, launching herself on Levi. “We did it, again!” she happily laughs.

“I told you to stay back,” Levi scolds her, but Hange just keeps laughing.

“But, my love, you know me. I hate staying out of action.”

***

That night, when they make love in a small clearing in a dark forest, Hange doesn’t praise him.

Instead, she goes on and on, complimenting herself.

“You’re so lucky, Levi,” she husks as her hands roams his chest. “To have a lover as gifted as me. My aim is as precise as Artemis’, my wits are sharper than Athena’s swords, my beauty can rival Aphrodite’s…”

The gods always listen, and what Hange says will undoubtedly anger them all. But Levi is high on their victory, high on their love, so he doesn’t care about it now.

He throws his head back, when Hange moves her hands from his chest to his stomach and then even lower. He moans when Hange grabs him and whispers, “And your ego is as big as Ares’.”

The pleasure Hange was giving him disappears.

“I am as gifted as gods,” Hange straddles his hips and pins his hands above his head. She licks her lips, her eyes flashing, as she revels in his quiet whimper. “And my punishment can be just as severe…”

Levi is absolutely spent when Hange takes mercy on him. She curls around him, and watches his attempts to catch his breath with a wicked smile.

If this is the kind of punishment he’ll keep receiving, Levi is ready to defy gods every waking moment of his life.

***

"This one is different," Hange whispers in his ear as together they observe the Titan's movements. "The skin is..."

"Weird," Levi finishes for her.

Weird is not colorful enough to describe this Titan. Where the other looked vaguely human-like, this one does not. Its skin is too white and its body too long. The mouth doesn't look normal too.

"Be careful," Hange warns, when Levi pushes himself off the rock they've been leaning against.

"Don't intervene," he shoots back.

Hange grins and doesn't even give him a courtesy of promising to stay out of it. With her trusty bolts, she starts running towards the Titan, an excited cry tearing from her lips. Levi curses andhurries after her.

Together they defeat the Titan in mere minutes, despite its many abnormalities.

Later that evening, they go to the nearest town and buy grapes and bread. Hange demands to buy wine but Levi points to her stomach, and she stops arguing right after that.

Hange isn't showing yet, barely two and a half moons have passed since the child was apparently conceived, but she's been growing moodier with each day and she often complains about the ache in her back.

"That's your fault, Zeus' descendent," she huffs as she tries to get comfortable around him. "You tricked, seduced and dishonored me in the most terrible fashion."

Levi rolls his eyes and doesn't point out that it was Hange who bewitched and seduced him. And she never had any honor or shame to begin with. He just pulls her closer and pops a grape into her mouth. Hange smiles as she tastes the sweet fruit.

"Although I have to admit," she says after she swallows it. "I didn't imagine that Zeus is you father."

"Who did you expect it to be then?"

"Don't know," Hange shrugs. "Hades, maybe? Both of you have the same dark and wicked scowl."

His scowl can get too dark, but it's certainly not wicked... But for now, Levi wants to know something else.

"How did you guess I wasn't mortal?"

"Well," Hange flicks hair out of her face and opens her mouth, asking Levi for another grape. With a sigh, he complies. Hange gives him a grateful smile and continues. "Sometimes you pick up stuff that should be too heavy for you. And sometimes you move too fast for me to follow. But more importantly..."

"Yes?"

"You're too handsome to be a mere mortal. And when you make love to me, it feels absolutely divine..."

Hange laughs and Levi scoffs. He leans closer and kisses her laughter away.

"If there was a god of stupidity, Hange,” he whispers against her lips. “You'd be their child."

***

The fourth Titan they encounter is the strongest one yet.

It's different from all others, its fur covered body and long ears more beast-like than human.

"I don't like that one at all," Hange mutters and Levi silently agrees. Just looking at that Titan makes him wish that he had left Hange back home, where she and their child would be safe.

But Hange isn't at home, and Levi likes to think that she is safer here with him than with his father and the rest of his kind on Mount Olympus.

"Looks like a monkey," he mutters. "A really ugly one," he adds just to make Hange laugh.

"We can't all be beauties like you," she slings an arm over his shoulder and presses a kiss to his cheek. "Good luck, Levi."

Hange means to move away, but Levi doesn't let her. He catches her hand and brings her back to him, pulling her to his chest. Something is wrong with that Titan, something about him... makes his throat constrict with fear.

"Hange," he breathes all air out of his chest and fills it with her sweet scent. He doesn't ask her to stay back, knows it's pointless, but that horrible feeling inside, the fear and almost certainty that something will go wrong... it forces Levi to embrace Hange just a little bit tighter.

"I'll be alright, my love," Hange whispers. "We both will be."

Of course, they will – how could they not? Levi is a son of Zeus, and Hange is brighter and more brilliant than any other mortal or deity.

They will be alright, he keeps repeating it in his head as he starts running to the Titan.

Something is definitely wrong with that Titan, because when Levi approaches, the giant creature smiles. It smiles and then looks away, turning— turning to Hange.

Levi’s heart stops.

The Titan lowers his enormous, clawed hand, and before Levi can move, before Levi can find it in himself to breathe, the beast snatches Hange up in the air.

Levi doesn’t remember what happens next, doesn’t register his next moves. His vision fills up with red and his chest is heavy with rage.

He sees nothing but blood, blood, blood. He is covered in it when the Titan crushes down and Levi catches Hange up in his hands.

He falls to the ground with her, pulling her on top of him. It is only when he hears Hange’s heartbeat, his own finally starts up again.

He breathes in deeply – once, then twice, and when the trembling in his hands ceases, he lowers Hange down and methodically checks her, looking for wounds and injuries.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” she keeps repeating, but she is not. There is a long and deep scratch on her leg and bruises all over her forearms and chest. Her stomach seems unharmed, but Levi still presses his ear to it and prays he hears something there.

“It’s still there,” Hange gently brushes his hair. “It’s still there, I can feel it. We’re alright, my love. All three of us.”

He leaves a tender kiss there and thanks his yet unborn child for being so strong. He then picks Hange up and carries her to the nearby stream. Hange protests and tries to kick him, but Levi just holds her tighter. After what has just happened, after what he’s just felt, he just wants for Hange to be close, needs to feel her warmth and know that she’s still with him.

He cleans her wounds by the stream and dresses every injury with a great deal care.

“Levi?” Hange asks, when later that day they sit by the fire. Levi is curled around Hange, and he kisses her shoulder to tell him he’s listening. “That Titan...”

Levi’s blood boils just at the mention of that beast. His mind flashes with memories of Hange in its arms, there up in the air. For the first time in his life, Levi thanks his unhuman instincts. If he came just a second later…

“I think he was sentient, Levi. Not like an animal, but almost like… almost like human.”

The tone of her voice, the almost defeated notes he can hear in it, Levi doesn’t like where this is going.

“What if they’re not mindless beasts like we’ve been told they are? What if they’re just like us?”

“Hange…” he says, a gentle precaution.

But Hange perseveres. “He didn’t attack you, but decided to go for me. He ignored you, even though you’ve posed a bigger threat, because he recognized that I was your weakness. Animals can’t be so smart. Only humans are.”

Levi sighs. He can’t bring himself to say it out loud yet, but he agrees with Hange. There is something more to the Titans that they’ve been told. There is something more to the Titans that his father has shared.

“The next Titan we meet…” Hange turns to look at him, her eyes pleading. “Can we observe them a bit more? Maybe…”

“Maybe,” Levi echoes. He presses his forehead against Hange’s and promises, “Next time we’ll do it your way.”

***

Hange’s belly grows in the time it takes them to find their next Titan. If situation had been any different, Levi would have been adamant about her staying back, but he promised her they’d get to the bottom of this together.

And he intends to keep that promise until…

Until they locate their target. And realize that they’re dealing with not one, but three Titans.

Images of Hange’s body flying around like a ragdoll still wake him up in the middle of the night with a hoarse scream on his lips, and it was just one Titan. Levi doesn’t want to know what will happen if they’ll fight three of them. He turns to Hange, intent on making her sit this one out, but then Hange points her finger, forcing him to follow its direction.

When he does, Levi sees the three Titans. Who are running in the opposite direction from them.

“Let’s catch up with them!” Hange urges.

Despite carrying a child for almost six moons, Hange gets on a horse surprisingly easy. She waits for Levi to get behind her before spurting the horse in pursuit.

It takes them a better part of an hour to get close to the Titans. When they do, Levi jumps from a horse and starts to approach the giants. He makes sure that his steps are slow and measured, as unthreatening as possible. But just as gets close enough, the Titans turn from defence to offence.

The one in the middle - the one that looks like he's covered in armor - steps forward and raises his arm.

"I don't want to hurt you!" Levi shouts, but this only spurs the creature on.

Before he can crush Levi with his might, Hange jumps right in front of the Titan, her arms spread wide.

"Please, stop!" she yells, frantically moving her arms up and down. "We just want to talk, we mean no harm!"

The Titans exchange looks between each other, before the one with blonde hair nods her head.

"We will listen," she says. "But you have to lay down your weapons first."

Hange grins, looking at Levi with a childish wonder. She grabs his blade and throws it out before approaching the three giants.

"So," she takes her time to study each of them, her grin growing wider and wider. She rubs her hands when she finishes, looking almost feral in her excitement. "I have a plan."

***

Hange's plan is ridiculous, risky and possibly not worth the effort. But Hange charms the Titans with her passionate words, and then turns to Levi with a smile that has charmed him all these years ago. She has all of them convinced in less than an hour.

"If you were humans before, you can be turned back again," Hange says like it's that easy.

"If there is a way to do it, we don't know how," the tallest and largest one replies.

"But if there is someone who knows..." the one with armor around his body begins uncertainly.

The one with a blonde hair sighs. "If there is someone who knows, it can only be her. Give me your map, I'll show you where to find her."

"Well," Hange meets Levi's eyes and winks, absolutely radiant in her briliance. "That's already a start."

***

That her turns out to be another Titan. Unlike the others of her kind, she walks on all fours and looks like an ugly, hairless dog. Her companion is even worse - with large jaw and disproportionate body, he simply looks awful.

"Try to be nice, Levi," Hange chides, when he shares his observation with her. "They're possible allies."

Levi doesn't completely understand what's the point of all of this, but he always trusts Hange, and this time is no exception. He follows her to meet these new Titans.

Surprisingly, they listen to Hange patiently, at least, the one resembling a dog does.

But when Hange finishes, she shakes her head, sadness and remorse reflecting in her giant eyes.

"The curse turned us into this. And we can be turned back only by the person who did this to us."

"And who is it?" Levi asks, although he feels like he already knows an answer.

"Zeus," another Titan replies. "You came to finish what he started, didn't you? I can smell his stench all over you."

"He ordered us to come," Hange agrees, her voice placating. "But we do not wish to follow through with his order. Perhaps, if there was another way..."

"With you on our side..." Titans stare at each other, seemingly holding a silent conversation. Whatever decision they come to, it is in Levi and Hange's favor. "Perhaps, we can truly find another way."

***

It takes them two more moons to formulate their plan.

As they go over details again and again, the sky above them grows heavier and darker, and Levi feels lightening in the air. It's not a storm, not yet, but it is worryingly close enough.

As the weather continues to worsen, Hange's stomach continues to grow. The baby's kicks grow so strong, even Levi can feel them now - he delights in it every time he does.

By the time they're finished with the plan, Hange is already too late in her term. Going without her is out of question, Levi doesn't want to leave her alone and he doesn't wish to do this without his better half. They all agree to wait until the baby is born.

On the day their child feels like it's ready to see the world, the storm starts in earnest. The wind flies around and the sky is completely black with only flashes of lightening illuminating it all.

Hange's screams mix with thunder, and Levi holds her hand throughout it all, trying to soothe her pain with gentle touches and kisses.

When the baby finally arrives, it takes his breath away.

She is absolutely beautiful because she is unmistakably theirs.

Levi smiles when he sees a patch of black hair, and his heart swells, when the baby opens her eyes and he sees the familiar honey brown.

Just as she opens her eyes, she starts screaming and kicking, and Levi thinks 'yes... this is definitely Hange's child.'

They don't have the time to pepper her sweet rosy cheeks with kisses, marvel at her beauty or get tired of her wailing.

The storm grows stronger, and Levi knows that he is waiting.

They put the child in a small crib Levi made just days ago and they tuck her in, stopping just for a second to stare at her in awe.

"Take care of her for us," Hange asks their allies. They all give her a nod and position their large bodies protectively around the crib. "Thank you," she smiles. "We promise to take care of you too."

As soon as these words leave her mouth, the ground below them disappears. Levi takes Hange's hand in his at the very last moment.

He keeps holding it as they return to a marble throne room.

The guards try to separate them just as they did the last time, but Levi doesn't let them. He glares at them defiently and holds Hange close to him.

"My son," his father begins with a false sweetness in his voice. "Your time is up, your child is born. Then why the Titans continue to live?"

"I thought you could help us with that, father. It is your curse that had created them after all. Lift it and their threat will cease to exist."

"It's not what we had agreed upon."

"But it's a much easier way."

Zeus' eyes flash with fury, the lightening dancers around his fingers. "Do you dare to defy me?"

Levi keeps his head raised high, as he stares up at his father. "I'm just offering a different sollution."

"You will pay for that."

"If I will, so will you. The Titans have gathered, there is a small number of them, but they're strong, maybe, strong enough," he glances up at the gods seated on their grand thrones, "than some of you. Do you wish to test if it is true?"

"Insolent boy," his father growls, but Levi knows his anger means nothing.

There are whispers all around him, hushed and concerned. Other gods don't wish to have another war, not if they're not sure that they can win it. And if Zeus doesn't submit, then he risks starting a war even grander that against Titans - a war among gods.

"I will lift the curse," he grits through his teeth.

"And you will leave us alone," Hange adds in a singing voice.

Zeus' glare is impressive, but Levi isn't afraid of it anymore. He knows it can't burn people.

"That's all we wanted to discuss," Levi fails to hide the smugness from his tone. "And now if you excuse us..."

"We have a daughter to return to," Hange finishes.

The gods sigh in relief when a demigod and his mortal disappear from their realm. History has taught them just how much destruction a grieving lover can bring. They thank Tyche for their luck.

***

When Hange and Levi return to their world, they find that the Titans are gone. Instead five humans are waiting for them, gathered around a crib with a wailing baby.

The storm is over and the sun is shining brigthly.

Hange kisses the back of his hand and murmurs, "We did it, my love."

Levi smiles and together, they come to hold their baby girl in their arms.

And like all joyous things, this one starts perfectly.

#sheeesh! sorry anon i'm an idiot and accidentally deleted your ask #good thing i had a screenshot :)#also thank you for your prompt it was a delight!!!!! i wanted to write something like that for a very long time #levihan

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lilac-den · 4 years ago

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Holy shit the dark au is dark. I'm both intrigued and scared.

What would be the reactions of our ROs if they somehow got a glimpse of their alternative timeline dark selves. Bonus points if they also see how their evil versions treat the MC in less than stellar ways.

Honestly, I imagine the D!AU vers are basically the ROs down the dark path - versions that they would have turned up as, if things had...continued in the past.

Zeus/Jupiter: "So my other half is a mere dog of the system?"

Zeus doesn't bat an eye at Jupiter, even when the latter proceeds to sneer with obvious disgust and scoffs scornfully. "Pathetic."

"And does it not own you?"

"The system," Jupiter hisses out, "was flawed and corrupted." Jupiter lifts their head loftily and says with clear conviction, "My word is law, in my world."

Something twitches in Zeus and they lift a finger up, pressing gently on their temple and attempting to settle the discomforting pain throbbing within. Jupiter, noticing this, flashes a fiendish, cruel grin.

"Oh?" Jupiter taunts, "Failing to recollect I see."

"What..." Their eyes spark, "What of it?"

Jupiter rolls their eyes, frowning, "Clearly, you, my own counterpart, are a failed specimen of our...caliber." Jupiter tuts mockingly and examines their surroundings. "Next you tell me that you treat [Name] like a human being."

The mention of MC brings forth something. One that eats away the pain and replaces it with an unfamiliar fury in Zeus. "What. Have. You. Done?"

"Hm?" Jupiter raises a brow before displaying a loathsome smirk. "You mean with my pet? They're resting well, collared in their cage." Their smirk morphs to a dangerous smile and their eyes shine with a sense of possessiveness. "They look so lovely when they're well-restrained."

What comes next is a collided strike between Zeus and Jupiter, signaling a battle no one seeks.

Hermes/Mercury: "What...happened to you?"

A cackling giggle leaves the maddening one, spreading out their arms and showcasing their lab coat. "The same thing with you!" Something deranged and gleeful escapes their voice, eyes wild and vibrantly unhinged, "One bad day, enough to leave us bonkers and mad! I'm embracing my nature." Mercury points their syringe towards Hermes, lips curling wider and higher, "Our nature."

A harsh expression shows upon Hermes's face; a furious knit of their brows, a displeased purse of their lips, and eyes glaring towards the insanity before them. Yet, they hold no words of denial. Instead, they look tense, "And...our hacker?"

Mercury's eyes lit up, like fire being stoked, and they laugh even more - happier and even less in control of their raging mind, "They're such a dear! So good, so great," a pleasant smile, one that chills Hermes's spine, presents itself onto their lips, "I made sure they don't...run away."

Hermes pales and the air crackles with energy that Mercury meets in kind.

Dionysus/Bacchus: Dionysus is, at first, wary of what to expect. Perhaps they're a turned mercenary or a murderer. Or perhaps a criminal beyond compare.

But no.

This is worse.

Bacchus stares blankly at Dionysus, soulless eyes with a vacant stare. Dionysus starts first.

"Do you know who I am?"

Bacchus blinks. Dionysus's brows furrow and they asks something else.

"Do you...know who you are?"

Bacchus's eyes drag down to the floor. Dionysus's heart trembled. Oh no...Dionysus makes a grab for Bacchus's shoulders.

"And what of our hacker?" Dionysus asks carefully, gently shaking Bacchus, "What of [Name]?"

A smile. Dionysus returns that smile with relief, amazed that, yet again, MC has as much importance to Bacchus as to Dionysus.

"Cold...Cold...and...soft."

Bacchus whispers this, dreamy and barely audible with eyes as glassy as a doll's. But Dionysus heard it all. And with the registration of what Bacchus means, a sense of dread and horrified disgust fills Dionysus in an instant.

This is worse.

A nightmare in the flesh.

Ares/Mars: "Who the fuck are you?"

Ares watches carefully, from the way Mars's eyes burn with hate to the scowl on their face.

"I'm you, dumbass." Ares comments back, "The one that took therapy, at least."

Mars sneered. "Therapy?" Mars spits with disgust and walks up to Ares, grabbing them by the collar. They growl, "Some pansy choice you picked."

"And what of you?" Ares glares and grabs Mars's wrist before tugging them off, "What did you do?"

"You mean what happened after?" Mars scoffs at this and gives a nonchalant wave of their hand. "Unlike you, sulking off somewhere, I actually had fun." They open up their arms wide, displaying their powered form and violent grandeur, "Killing that bitch was fun!"

Ares makes no comment to that - the past is over and done, and Mars is most likely looking to provoke. But a question nags in the back of their mind, enough to prompt them into asking.

"And what about the cadet?"

"Who? Ah." Mars flashes a sinister grin right then and pulls back one of the sleeves, revealing a scar that spells out MC's name. "I made sure they're well and branded with my writing."

Icy glares and hostile tension fill the room in no more than a second, both sides just tittering between 'civil' and an all-out battle.

???/D!???: [I actually have a tough time thinking how these two would interact - simply because they don't have too much differences and the ones they do have differences with are too spoilery to expose. ;; I'm sorry to all of you who want to read this section.]

#silverking #Dark!AU #RO meets Dark!AU #Oof

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lifeofroos · 4 years ago

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A/N: Clarisse lol once again on this. Her spear gets stolen boys.

AO3 - KoFi

The Thief

The door made a loud bang as Clarisse strided in. Only a few of her siblings cared to look up.

‘We’re raiding the Hermes cabin.’

Now people got interested. ‘What did they do?’

‘Something important has been stolen. I don’t want any more questions, just your total cooperation.’

The Ares campers didn’t need to hear anything else. Within seconds, they had picked up their weapons and strapped on their every-day protective gear.

The take-over was a breeze. There was only one camper inside, the rest was too busy training. Two Ares kids janked him out. The rest stationed themselves around the cabin so no one else could try and get in, except for Clarisse and two of her siblings.

Clarisse peered around. At first glance, she couldn’t see her spear anywhere, but that was probably the way the cabin was designed. They had to have stuff stashed away in corners, the little sneaks.

‘You search the beds, and you search the closets,’ she ordered the two people that had come in with her. ‘You’re looking for a spear.’

The two other campers exchanged nervous looks. Maimer had been a present from Ares himself. If someone had stolen that, the camp would burn if she didn’t get it back soon.

While the others checked out the beds and the closets, Clarisse ran her hands past the walls. There had to be a nook or creek somewhere, to reach the secret compartments Chris had told her about.

After a few minutes of searching, she found a bulge under her fingertip, so small that most people wouldn’t notice. She snickered as she ran her hand over that part of the wall. Her boyfriend really should be less trusting with information like that.

She managed to jam her finger under the wooden plank. Yet, when she took it away, she only found some loose banknotes. With a disgruntled noise, she put the plank back.

‘Clarisse!’ With her eyebrows raised, she turned around. Her cabin mate was looking under a bed.

‘Something’s here!’

Clarisse sat down next to her sibling. There seemed to be a compartment under the bed. She reached her hand into the hole, knowing there might as well be poisonous bugs in there.

She didn’t find poisonous bugs, but neither did she find her spear. Instead, she took out a hand-mirror.

She tutted. ‘Silena won’t be happy with whoever stole this. She got it from Aphrodite.’

The other campers' eyes got wide. ‘So the Hermes campers have been stealing gifts from our godly parents?’

‘It seems like it.’

‘Then we should tell Chiron and Dionysus!’

Clarisse shook her head. ‘We can figure it out ourselves. However, we’re leaving here. They would never stash two valuable objects in the same place.’

When she walked outside, there was an array of campers looking to see what was going on. Connor Stoll lurched forward when he saw Clarisse coming out. ‘You’re not allowed to come in without permission!’

She held up the mirror. ‘And your campers are not allowed to steal stuff like this, now are they?’

Connor violently turned around. ‘Which one of you imbeciles took that?’

Clarisse walked past him. ‘I am glad we are on the same page about it. But don’t think I’ll let you rest until my spear is back, Stoll.’

He gritted his teeth. ‘All of you,’ he ordered, ‘Will be searching along. And to whoever did this: I am not responsible for whatever happens to you.’

The news of the theft spread like wildfire. Soon, everyone in the camp was either searching, hiding or praying.

‘Silena?’

The daughter of Aphrodite took her mirror. ‘I heard what happened. Those bastards. May their clothes shrink whenever they put them on.’

‘Does that work specifically?’

She chuckled. ‘Not when I don’t know who it should be directed to.’ Clarisse nodded, but couldn’t help but scan the camp for demigods with shirts that were a little too crampy.

‘What about Phobos and Deimos?’ Sherman inquired

Clarisse shook her head. ‘Too boastful. They wouldn’t be able to keep their mouths shut about it for this long.’

‘Most of the Hermes campers check out right now as well. Perhaps the Athena campers? Or Percy Jackson?’

Clarisse shrugged. ‘The Athena campers are too wise to pull a stunt like this one and I like to think Jackson has something better to do with his time. Still, search the arts-and-crafts building and the boathouse.’

Sherman gave a firm nod, before running away.

It was getting ridiculous. Almost every nook of the camp, safe for the forests, had been searched. Would a camper really be so stupid as to go into the forest for a prank? A prank that, in no possible way, would end well?

As soon as this realisation got through to the rest of the camp, they began to form a crowd around the capture the flag starting point, thinking about what to do next. Anything to keep Clarisse from burning down the whole camp.

When Clarisse arrived, one of the Ares campers was standing in the middle of the group, next to the shabby flag pole that currently had the Apollo flag on it (To show that they won the last capture-the-flag game). ‘We should make search groups. Everyone gets an area of the forest!’ He held up his hand and accidently knocked over the pole. It fell down, only to reveal the head of a spear.

It got dead quiet. Campers turned their heads towards the Apollo campers, who all looked equally as shocked.

Clarisse made her way to the front. Calmly, she picked up the spear, which gave a little shock as soon as she picked it up.

Still ever so calm, she turned to the Apollo campers. ‘Well? Anyone want to claim responsibility?’

It stayed quiet. The Apollo campers were looking at each other, trying to remember who had planted the flag pole the day they won.

Clarisse snickered. ‘Doesn’t matter. Capture the flag is tomorrow. Ares campers, we’ll just have to get them all.’

A loud roaring made it known that the other Ares kids agreed to this sentiment. The Apollo kids shushed among each other, knowing that they had to get the right allies this time. Yet, one look around camp already told them it might be difficult to get allies at all.

Silena raised her fist. ‘But don’t think that the Hermes kids will get away with stealing the magic mirror! You don’t even know the impact of what you did, pests!’ Her cry was echoed by the other Aphrodite campers, the Ares campers, and eventually almost everyone.

Chiron looked on from a distance. ‘Is it time to do something about it?’

Dionysus shook his head. ‘Let them fight it out among them.’

‘I was hoping you’d say that.’

‘I hope they’ll contain themselves during dinner. If not, then we should by all means do something about it. I don’t want a repeat of the food fight from last week.’

They sighed, knowing full well that a return of the food fight was inevitable. Just as inevitable as macguffins being stolen, campers grinding each other into the dirt and using the weirdest things as flagpoles.

A/N: I like to think that the money Clarisse found in the Hermes cabin was at least 100.000 dollars, all in wads of cash.

The next chapter on the list was requested by an AO3 reader - Clarisse meeting Aphrodite! I also got your other prompt, it's on the list, it'll be there :)

#clarisse la rue #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo fanfic #pjo fanfiction #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson fanfiction #percy jackson and the olympians fanfic #percy jackson and the olympians fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #writing #writer #silena beauregard #connor stoll #chiron #spear

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ofdragonsdeep · 4 years ago

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23: Soul

A connection between Ancients ran deeper than fragile mortals could comprehend.

(AzemxElidibus, ShB spoilers I guess)

Mornings in Amaurot blossomed like a gentle gift. The faint noise of birdsong in distant trees, the shade-dappled paths, the thrum and bustle of activity, all of it held out a welcoming hand to invite the weary wanderer back home.

Hermes, holder of the Seat of Azem, had spent more of his long life within Amaurot than not, and found that he missed it on his long travels around the realm. No matter how far the wanderlust took him, nor how long the trials kept him gone, he would ever return to it. Home, in so many ways, not least of which because it held his heart.

This morning was a quiet one, as returnings went. He was given nods of acknowledgement from the civilians he passed, in recognition of the mask he wore and the rank he held, and he offered smiles and waves at them in return. His cheerful feet traced a familiar path, winding between the buildings and past the entryways where a hundred hundred souls bustled, past the view of the Convocation Hall’s spire, past the aether-crystal in its intricate metal lattice. To a little pocket of green, cocooned tenderly within the city’s gleaming walls. At the highest point, Hermes lay down upon the grass and closed his eyes.

It was not unlike his travels. It was simple, when the mind could weave aether at a thought and there was none of the Architect’s bureaucracy to stifle the creation, to shield oneself from the elements with only the most necessary of comforts. He had spent many nights beneath the stars, feeling the ground beneath him through his robes, staring up to what lay beyond them and wondering at that most unknown of vigils.

He had lain there for long enough to lose track of time when the disturbance came. The sound of robes rustling, feet upon the grass, and a familiar voice.

“Never do you tell me when you see fit to return, Azem. Any would think you do not wish me to find you.”

A smile crept onto Hermes’s face, and he opened his eyes to look at his visitor.

“As if you need long to see my aether among the others, Elidibus.”

His white robes gathered up about his legs as he sat beside his erstwhile colleague, ever unmarred by stains from the grass beneath them. A soft smile sat upon his face - never one for grand gestures, was Elidibus, giving his all to others and saving so little for himself. Of all the people that Hermes knew, he was the one he missed most keenly when duty and curiosity took him out into the world beyond. But in the same stroke, he was the one he returned for - not his duty, not his people. Just Elidibus.

“I take it that your travels were fruitful,” Elidibus said, watching as Hermes sat and shook the grass from his shoulders. His magics could have cleaned it, true, but he saw no need for it in the moment. “I hope that you do not have any sour news for the Convocation.”

“Do I ever?” Hermes replied, face cracking into a smile. “You can say it, you know. That you missed me. None will hear you admit such a shameful thing.” Elidibus sighed, shaking his head in despair at Hermes’s attitude.

“I am not ashamed. I am… It is difficult,” he said. With a roll of his shoulders, he straightened himself, composing his thoughts along with his form. “But you know me well, alas. I… I did miss you.” Hermes took his hand, elegantly gloved, and pressed a kiss against his fingers.

“Perhaps my advantage is unfair,” he allowed. There were those on the Convocation who disapproved of their relationship - not because they stood as colleagues, but because of how this Azem seemed ever to flout their rules and conventions. Such was a part of the role of Azem, he had argued - to great success in the Hall of Rhetoric, in fact, much to the dismay of his would-be rivals. Elidibus held himself with the quiet regard of someone entrusted with a role as great as his, kept himself held back, spent his every waking moment dedicated to his duty - and likely his sleeping ones, as well. His discomfort stemmed from uncertainty, Hermes thought, a need to present an image of the perfect emissary to the people. What would they think if he were to love a reactionary so deeply as he held it in the darkest parts of his heart?

“I wonder at times if it is unbecoming of me to miss you so,” Elidibus said, a perfect demonstration of his warring head and heart. “I have asked Emet-Selch to cast his eyes into the lifestream when you are gone, in case the worst were to happen and you could not come home-”

“And he called you a fool?” Hermes guessed, and Elidibus sighed.

“Yes. ‘Lovesick and pining’ were his exact descriptors.” His skin flushed red at the admittance, and he averted his gaze to stare at the grass below him, swaying softly in the gentle breeze. “Still, I am glad that you return unmolested, at least for now.”

“Would I abandon you?” Hermes returned, running the palm of his hand up Elidibus’s cheek, slipping his fingers beneath the wood of the mask. “Perhaps you would know if I did.” He could feel his companion’s aether, so bright and shining, so close…

“Perhaps I would,” Elidibus agreed, his voice quiet. One hand reached up to lie atop Hermes’s own, and Hermes smiled at him and pushed back the hood. There was comfort in conformity, and reassurance in the safety that came with not deviating from the norm. How they would tut and shudder at the Bureau of the Administrator at the idea that one with so important a role would ever eschew the trappings of their station, a splash of colour across the mask the only difference between them.

With his free hand, Hermes gently eased the mask from Elidibus’s face. He blinked with surprised eyes, his own hand reaching to touch his unadorned face.

“I missed you,” Hermes said, and leaned forward to touch Elidibus’s forehead with his own. It was a tiny, quiet glimpse into the vast aether at the core of him, suffused with love and loneliness. So intense was the feeling that Elidibus moved backwards all but subconsciously, the breath catching in his throat.

“Hermes, please,” he said, a soft admonishment in his tone. “Such conduct is unbecoming of one who holds the role of Azem.”

“Yet it is Hermes you chide,” he replied, an amused smile on his face. “I shall note that for the record, though I shall keep it from my report for the rest of the Convocation.” Elidibus, his face red with furious embarrassment, picked his mask up from where it lay on his lap and set it back around his face. If nothing else, it did match his complexion, and most fittingly if Hermes was any judge.

“I shall have to hear your full report later, then,” he said, which made Hermes raise an eyebrow. Elidibus, heedless by intent or not, retrieved Hermes’s own mask from where it lay in the grass and held it out to him, a not so subtle suggestion in his gesture. “Come. It would not do to keep the others waiting.”

“I suppose you are right,” Hermes allowed, a soft sigh on his lips as he made himself ‘presentable’. Just as Zeus so rarely put aside his role as Elidibus, so too did Hermes need to be Azem to his core, at least for the moment. But what did a few moments matter, when they had eternity?

Such things were, he supposed, not Azem’s to think upon.

#It's only angst in context and I'm clinging to it #ffxivwrite2021 #AzemxElidibus #sobs gently I got too committed to this silly ship and then the ShB patch quests just slapped me in the face like the dumbass I am #named m!Azem

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acequeenking · 5 years ago

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Hadestober #13

13) Take My Hand - Persephone goes down to the Underworld for the first time after Orpheus manages to get it right. (T, Hermes & Persephone, Hades/Persephone)

Persephone drinks the summer away. Doesn’t trust the man to hold to his own promises, not anymore, not after having been burned so many times. She drinks away a good half of May, June, and even July.

“Might want to slow down, green thang,” Hermes says, gives her a weak little smile. She gives him a sharp-eyed glare.

“Sooner or later, he’s likely to ruin it.” She sips down her whiskey, good and burning. He’d introduced her to whiskey long ago: ‘fore that, she was more liable to get drunk with something out of her mama’s wares, a little wine, a little potash. “Always does. Kinda his job, you know, ruinin’ things. Entropy’s a bit of a bitch.”

“Your man don’t seem to have ruined everything.” He flicks his head over at Orpheus and Eurydice, his little boy and their runaway-now-staying-put, giggling over at the bar. Persephone remembers being that much in love. Eurydice thumbs Orpheus’ suspenders, and Persephone’s heart cracks a little bit at a familiarity she can just barely remember feeling.

“A stopped clock is right, once or twice.” She shoots back, then swallows down her liquor.

“All I’m saying is…” Hermes waves his hand, with a weariness she doesn’t think man has any right to feel. Isn’t like they’ve been in circumstances such as this before. “Nothing will change if you don’t try.”

“I’ll try,” she says, after guzzling down the last of her whiskey. “When and what I feel like.”

“Alright,” Hermes’ says, and says it a bit sad, and there’s a twinge in her chest there, knowing as always that he is her closest brother, and she is somehow fucking this summer all up despite his caring. Mama always said there’d be days like this. “Just think about it, for me? For him?”

His eyes gravitate toward the young couple: Orpheus holds out his hand, and Eurydice takes it, smiling like she ain’t just had to walk out of hell not two months ago. Persephone wonders, idly, what Eurydice did with those old worker’s clothes. Probably burned them.

She would.

“I’ll think about it,” she says. “Best I can do.”

“That’s enough,” Hermes says, but the tone says it plain: no, it ain’t.

Persephone drinks her way through a variety of infrequently sampled delights through September. Been rare, right rare, for her to be up so late, thanks to Mr. Lover-I-Was-Lonely, Mr. Lover-I-Was-Despairing no longer showing up so early, by some miracle, well, she has some time to burn and preferably burn down some of her gullet with it. Hard cider ain’t never been her favorite, but it’s a good novelty and she sips her cup while she mulls Mr. Hermes’ words right up til it’s time ot wait for Mr. Hades clarion-bell.

Because the thing is: Hermes is not half-right. Persephone doesn’t owe her old ball and chain much; ask anybody downstairs, and they would tell you – well, after you pour a little firewater in’em – that their lady has been the one dealing with most of his bullshit, not the other way around. Her problem is one that they keep dancing around, because she can’t bend herself down to get out of it, no matter how much he wants her to: six months up, six months down. Holy route, and they’ve all seen what happens when she doesn’t keep to schedule.

Man might as well ask brother Paulie not to make the sun shine. Some things just ain’t – ain’t malleable. Fixed. And her husband just isn’t built to be able to accept it for long.

Except, of course, that he seems to be awful quiet. So mayhaps he finally has.

“What’s he doing down there?” She asks, half-fearing the answer, because there are a lot of desperate women and now she is well aware that he’s willing to look for replacements if pushed far enough. Asks it casual of Hermes, asks it over her gin and tonic, fizzy with hope. “My old husband.”

Hermes raises an eyebrow at her. “Think he’s waitin’ for you.”

“And how, pray tell is he waiting?” She takes a drink, presses the subject.

Hermes just shakes his head. Refusing to give up the goods, and odds are good the reason is that Mr. Hads himself is holding him to such. But it isn’t out of nature for Hermes to play coy.

“Waiting alone,” Hermes says, quiet. “I’ll say that much.”

She gives him a sour look and he just laughs, won’t say more.

“Just wait and see, green thang. Wait and see.” She sips at her drink, but she doesn’t feel like drinking. Lousy old Hermes just seems to suck the fun out of it all.

“I don’t do well anymore,” she says, quiet. “Not with his surprises.”

“Maybe it’s not a surprise,” Hermes says. He reaches out, holds her hand for a good long moment, squeezes it, drops it. “Maybe it’s just what it is, sunshine-sister.”

They don’t talk a long while after that; Seph spends her time watching Orpheus tend bar, Miss Eurydice helping him out by serving the patrons. But, since Hermes gets relatively few customers, well, it’s mostly Persephone playing looky-loo and watching the kids make eyes at one another. She wonders: were they ever like that? Himself and herself? Were they ever quite so innocent? She doesn’t think so. Himself was jaded from the beginning, and well…she weren’t far behind. Always been the type to just cling to what she could take and not expect much more than that. Cup half-empty kind of girl, you know? Kind who always has to fill her cup, least she think too much about herself.

She stares at Eurydice, perhaps a bit overlong; girl blushes at the attention and moves next to Orpheus, who holds her so easily, and for a moment, Persephone feels a bright jealousy take ahold her heart; been many a year since her husband has done more than hold her hand in public. Was a time when she made that mountain of a man bend to kiss her.

Hermes must see the despair on her face because he tuts and grabs her hand once more.

“You know how rare it is, for a man to know how good he’s got?” Hermes says, in a low voice. “Even the kids, simple as they are, can’t tell a good thing too often til they lose it. Trust me. I been around. I know.”

“Your point?” Persephone might be almost as old as time, but it ain’t necessarily made her patient. Critical flaw that seems to flow through most of her kind.

But not Hermes.

“It’s a miracle, ain’t it?” He smiles, a little too pointedly, old Hermes. “To love someone so much you fear the second they ain’t in your sight.”

“Starts off feeling romantic,” Persephone says dryly. “But trust me, Hermes, it gets old, being appreciated like that.”

He looks at her; nods twice more. She looks at the serious look on his face and notices, for the first time, how his suit is looking a little bit more threadbare than it used to. Didn’t he used to have some feathers round that jacket? Seems a time she could recall him being proud of such.

“Can’t tell you that your reasons against him ain’t good ones,” Hermes says. “Lord knows, you two have had your ups and your downs. More downs than ups, I know. But take it from a man who ain’t never – never felt that urge to tie myself down—”

She rolls her eyes; only thing to do, with such an uncomfortable speech. Never liked these big emotional speeches; give her a moment’s tic or tell. The unsaid, brother, sometimes says it a lot more comfortably.

“Well…” Hermes cleared his throat. “Seems to me that it’s rare enough, two people finding one another like that, falling out and then in love, over and over again. Almost miraculous, right?”

“We’re gods, if you believe in miracles at this age…” He cuts her off, with one elegant hand.

“I believe in optimism. Always got a chance of turning better, sister.” His eyes glitter. “If, perhaps, someone gives such a chance…”

She bats her hand away. “Maybe I’ll consider it,” she says, finally. She stares down at Orpheus and Eurydice: Orpheus holds out his hand, and there’s the girl, grinning, taking that hand, so easy, so easy. Maybe that’s youth, she thinks, that slip of hand in hand, so easy, not weighed down by history. Or maybe it’s love, where you ignore the weight of it all because you believe, for one moment, that weight shared is weight eased.

And as she tries to think of a return, a bonmot, a repartee to Hermes’ great big speech, well, she don’t get the chance. She’s silenced as a high train whistle roars.

Hermes flips back his fancy sleeve, checks his watch. “Right on time, sister,” he says. He rises. “Best be goin’.”

And Persephone, well, she thinks: suppose it’s time. She grabs her coat, and it feels heavy on her shoulders, if smaller than the gordian knot in her belly. Hermes offers her his arm, ever the gentleman, but she shakes her head, not in the mood to share.

She’s a bit drunk, and she doesn’t need any distraction besides her husband himself.

“Orpheus,” Hermes says, too casual: “Watch the bar.”

She looks behind, sees the kids smiling at the bar. Doesn’t seem like they’ve heard at all, and for a brief, bitter moment, she envies them. Then she’s out, and she’s walking.

And the train door is there all too quickly.

And a man steps out all too fast.

There’s nothing different about him in particular: same white hair, same dark eyes, same Cheshire smile, same obnoxious glasses. He thinks they make him look young, but they don’t. She stares at him carefully, neutrally: he smiles, flicks off the hated glasses.

And she sees in that moment how his eyes tick, the nervousness that is evident in them; sees the redness of his ears and cheeks, the heavy breath that tells her that he’s been thinking of this moment for dozens of hours. And it’s that, more than any speech of Hermes’ or any glimpses of the young ones, that renders her heart softer towards the man: the way that hand shakes just a lil’ bit when he reaches for her, because he’s nervous. Mr. Hades is a mighty king, but she reduced him to a man once. Seems liable she might be able to again.

“Hey,” he says, the most neutral of all openings. She’d critique it but she, too, struggles to find words, the snappish openings of so many years having erased the old kindliness.

“Hey,” she says. Disgusting neutral, careful in a way they’ve never been. But neutral is safe, and maybe she takes his hand and grips it, and maybe he doesn’t mention the alcohol on her breath, and maybe when he pulls her toward her, well, maybe his hand doesn’t feel heavy after all.

Maybe she’s a fool for thinking that, but she does, and when he leans close to give her a kiss on her cheek after how-long, well: she believes, she believes.

“Let’s go home,” she says. And she holds him tight, and she steps on that train, and they go together to parts simultaneously too-well-known and too-unknown all at once.

But at least they go together.

#Hadestown #Hades/Persephone #Hades #Hadestober #Hermes #Persephone #Persephone (Hadestown)#Hades (Hadestown)#Hermes (Hadestown)#So somehow I am 10 days? Behind? Sigh #Stupid school and work #it will be the end of me #anyway #I'm going to keep trying to update until I fulfill all 30 though clearly its gonna take me more than october gdi

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askthedustbowl · 5 years ago

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moon in the window xi

FINALE, PT II

a week has passed since orpheus’s fever broke. thalia pays him a visit.

———

hermes told melpomene you could walk again, so i thought i’d drop by.” thalia smiled from the doorway. “how’re you doing, kiddo?”

orpheus, sitting at the dining nook of hermes’s apartment, looked up at the blissfully familiar voice. “thalia.” he whispered, incredulous.

“that’s my name.” despite her casual tone, thalia dropped her bag and all but ran over to embrace her nephew.

orpheus stood and let her hold him tightly. she was a little shorter than he was, but it didn’t matter to her. hugs were her specialty, she’d be damned if she didn’t give him one to the best of her ability.

at last, she let him go and took his face in her hands. “look at you.” she said softly. “i’ve seen happier faces at work.”

that earned a chuckle from orpheus, one of the first in several days. even when she wasn’t trying, thalia had a way of making everything a little better.

“you’ve really been in bed this whole time?” she asked, stroking his cheek with her thumb. “poor kiddo.” orpheus shrugged halfheartedly in a sort of response. “i brought some chocolate with me.” thalia always had something sweet in her pockets or bag—it was just a part of her. usually it was chocolate, which she insisted worked better than therapy sometimes—keyword: “sometimes.”

“i haven’t been able to really...” orpheus swallowed. “eat anything like that yet.”

thalia frowned, something startling and not suited to her naturally-cheerful default expression. “at your own pace, kiddo. at your own pace.” she dropped her hands from his face. orpheus took her arm for support and she granted it with a tilt of her head. this was far from the pitying head-tilts he received from the likes of melpomene (he loved her, and he knew she loved him, but sometimes too much sympathy was too much sympathy). there was a glint of understanding in her eye. they both lost calliope, they were both experiencing this.

thalia pulled a chair out for orpheus and sat in one next to him. “how are you feeling.”

orpheus froze and a look of panic flashed in his eyes. “i—“

thalia held up a hand. “we don’t have to talk about that. sorry, sorry.” she reached for his hand across the table and he gave it to her. her fingers intertwined with his.

orpheus exhaled. “...thank you.” he breathed.

“no problem.” thalia smiled. “we can just sit here.”

there was something about those last five words that made orpheus want to cry. he was terrible at holding back tears on a regular basis, but his mother had just died, he hadn’t been outside in about a month, and every single bone in his body ached with something he couldn’t name.

“hey...kiddo.” thalia reached her hand out to swipe a tear away from orpheus’s cheek. “hey...” she moved her chair closer so that she could easily touch him.

before orpheus could say anything, he pressed his hand to his mouth and tried very, very hard not to cry.

“kiddo.”

“no one has...” orpheus paused as he choked back a sob. “thalia, no one has...has ever...”

thalia’s eyes widened and she leaned forward to embrace him. she understood. since cal’s death, everyone wanted to know how she was doing. no one ever considered that that was the last thing she wanted to talk about. it broke her heart that orpheus felt the same way.

she felt him shudder against her and made a sympathetic tutting noise with her tongue. “you don’t have to talk, orphie. i know.” she rubbed circles on his back with her thumb. “i know.”

they stayed like that for a while, just thalia holding orpheus like he was a child again. in a weird way, she wanted him to feel like he was a child again. the kid was seventeen. his mother had died—that wasn’t something that a seventeen-year-old boy should be worrying about. even though it sounded awful, the kids she dealt with at work were easy to handle. thalia could deal with anxiety and grief and adolescent breakdowns. it was in the job description. but orpheus’s anxiety and grief...that was different. she had watched this boy grow up.

after a while, orpheus pulled away, a hand still pressed to his mouth.

“have you cried at all?” thalia asked him gently. “not to be a social worker or anything, but sometimes...sometimes it’s important.”

orpheus shrugged weakly. “i’ve been....busy.” he sniffed.

“and you look dehydrated as it is.” thalia smiled and tousled his hair. orpheus dropped his hand to reveal the smallest, slightest smile. “in all seriousness, i’m glad you’re feeling a little better. i mean, being able to stand upright is always a sure sign of recovery.”

orpheus nodded, looking at the floor.

thalia reached out to lift his chin up, just like she used to do when he was a child. “i’m proud of you, kiddo.” she sighed. “i really am.”

“thank you.” orpheus whispered, his eyes glistening with tears once again.

“you know i’m always here.” thalia pressed her forehead to his affectionately. “always, always, always.”

in the days after thalia’s visit, slowly but surely, the world came back to life. hermes opened the bar up again, mel returned to her practice. cory started dancing again. erato posted on instagram for the first time in a month. and little by little, orpheus returned to his life before cal got sick. family dinners were back on, and so were game nights. there would always be a chair missing, but they all carried cal in their hearts.

it’s what she would have wanted.

#the end of an era #moon in the window series #moon in the window #dust bowl fic #dust bowl au #thalia #orpheus

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aj-artjunkyard · 6 years ago

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Trials Of Apollo Oneshot Series CHAPTER FIVE

This is a post-ToA chapter! Takes place after Apollo regains his immortality.

I sighed. Strolling aimlessly through the halls of my palace on Olympus, I wondered if it had always been this unappealing. The gold trimmings seemed fake. The extravagant furniture felt uncomfortable. Even my bed was too big. Every shiny object played murder on my eyes, and every smooth surface was too warm to be refreshing. It just wasn’t homey. Not like the Waystation or Aeithales or either demigod camps. It felt more like a sized-up garage to keep a fancy car in.

I found myself yearning to be outdoors - no uncommon craving. Like my twin, most of my domains are set in the great outside world. I threw open the golden double doors of the balcony, closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh Olympian air. There was still something missing. Furrowing my eyebrows in frustration, I opened my eyes and glanced around for anything that might sate my dissatisfaction, when my sight landed on a certain figure making her way through the buzzing streets of Olympus and towards the entrance of my palace. I felt a natural smile creep onto my face. I would have to look for the missing thing later. Right now, I needed to be with my mother.

…

We had been in this comforting embrace for almost ten minutes now. I combed my fingers through Leto’s caramel hair while she sobbed into my shoulder, her frame shaking considerably. I felt the wet tears soaking through my jacket and dampening the shirt beneath. I pressed my lips against her forehead, hoping to make her content enough to talk to me. Eventually, she pulled away and reached up, running her fingers through my hair, almost to reassure herself that I was actually there. She looked deep into my eyes, while tears danced in her own. I took her hands in my own, and gently led her to a white sofa, which was far to big for the space of the room. It looked like whoever had put it there was just trying to cram as much unneeded furniture into one place as they could. Oh wait…that may have been me.

Leto sat down beside me. She sniffled a little, avoiding my eyes. She fiddled with the brooch on my toga. I held her hand. She squeezed it.

“Apollo…” she trailed off, seeming lost in her mind.

“I’m alright now Mother,” I said in an effort to soothe her. “I’m immortal again. I cannot die. I learnt a lot too. And I want to apologise for not being the most attentive of sons. I should visit you more, and I will! Really, father was right to-”

“-NO!”

I fell silent, shocked that my mother would ever scream in such a tone. She looked at me, and I noticed how tired she was. No doubt staying up to watch every second of my quests, worried sick that something might happen if she took her eyes off me. It would not be out of character for her to do such things.

“Your father was not right to punish you in such a cruel manner. To have you forced into servitude, with next to no natural means to protect yourself or others!”

“Honestly, Mother I-”

She held up a hand for quiet. I obeyed.

“I know you should not have done the things you did. I know you’ve learned. That does not warrant your father’s merciless behaviour. You kept getting hurt and I could do nothing, he said if he caught me in the act of helping, he would make it worse for you. He said there would be more deaths, more guilt. So I obliged. I made sure he didn’t catch me. I convinced Artemis to send her hunters. I persuaded Hermes to crash the sun, and Athena to lure you to the child-” she paused. “-Whom I have been caring for. He is named Cindeo - the one who escapes danger.”

I nodded. “I see you have been taking care of everyone.”

“That is indeed my sole purpose, yes. It distracted me, which Artemis says is a good thing. But still…I was watching. That day on the boat.”

I swallowed a lump in my throat. I knew exactly what she would be referring to before she even said it. “You stabbed yourself.”

I drew in a sharp intake of breath, remembering the pain.

“I knew Medea would heal me.”

“You did it willingly.”

“It was only a distraction.”

“What was? Your life?”

“Caligula needed me alive more than my friends did.”

“They all needed you in the end, Apollo! I needed…I needed you.”

We sat, not talking. Just staring at each other, mentally comparing our broken pieces. I was willing to gather my pieces - make something new. I knew my mother wanted that as much as I did. We hugged again, this one lasting even longer. Neither party minded. Her caramel hair still smelt of honeysuckle, a trait inherited by my sister. She was still soft and warm and safe. After all these centuries, she had not changed. I was glad.

After an eternity, we separated. I examined my mother, my medical urges setting in.

“You look like you haven’t slept since I woke up in that dumpster. You need rest.”

She shook her head. “Apollo, you just got back. If you think I’m going to-”

“And I’ll be here when you wake up. Why don’t you use my bedroom? That way you won’t really be leaving. I’ll still be around, I promise. Even if you sleep as long as Gaea did.” She tried to protest, but I easily guided her to my sleeping quarters. By the time we arrived, Leto was practically using me as her only way of staying upright. I gently laid her down on my king-sized mattress, and she immediately melted into the warmth of the duvet.

I made my way to the kitchen, intent to taste ambrosia for the first time in months. A shape shimmered into existence on the blinding white counter. A freshly baked pie. Curious, I picked up the little note beside it, which read in perfect ancient greek calligraphy;

You deserve it! I love you!

-Leto

I chuckled and called down the hall, “Go to sleep!”

To which I received a muffled “I am, I am!”

I grabbed the pie and sniffed, enjoying my newly heightened senses. I could tell exactly what was in it. Ambrosia, sugar and chunky slices of…baked apple. The smell smacked me as violently as my realisation. My palace was golden, hard and shiny. It was devoid of life. Life like that of a particularly bossy half-blood. I decided to call in a discreet demigod quest.

…

“Soooo…about this quest.”

“Yes?”

“It was to help you plant stuff?”

I patted down the soil around a sweet-smelling Hyacinth. We sat in a huge garden positioned behind my palace. I had never fully understood why it was here. What was its purpose? Why would you look at some boring old trees when my palace was right at the end of the long, wide strip of grass, glowing golden and easily mistaken for a beautiful sunset in the evening? Once, I had even petitioned for the land to be flattened and used for a theatre (Dionysus and the muses backed me up, but Demeter, Poseidon and Artemis were strongly against it). But now, I smiled to myself as I began to see its importance.

“I don’t know what you find so complicated about this, Meg. I thought you liked gardening.”

My former master scrunched up her nose, pushing her cat-eye glasses further up her face. Her hands were caked with mud and the knees of her new leggings were already ruined. She had not wanted to change her dress, but when Percy mentioned to Mrs Jackson that she was still wearing the same borrowed garment from several months before, Sally had sent a package and insisted she change clothes every once in a while. Meg had donned the teal tunic and green leggings ever since. Such was the fashion sense of The Meg.

“Well, yeah. But I don’t think you’re allowed to call it a quest.”

“You were summoned to assist a god, were you not?”

“Duh.”

“So you are on a quest.”

“To plant flowers.”

“Mm-hmm.”

Meg shrugged. “Okay. But how do you plan to explain it to Zeu-” I cleared my throat loudly, glaring obviously at my reckless young friend. How many times did I have to tell her that names hold power? I definitely did not have a bullet-proof backup plan incase my father did find out, so I did not want to draw his attention and let him in on my little secret. That would not go well for anyone, trust me.

“How do you plan to explain it to your father?” Meg corrected. Satisfied with that adjustment, I turned my attention back to my Hyacinth.

“I’m not going to.”

“That’s a stupid plan.”

“I would have thought you’d know me better than to assume I have a real one.”

“That’s fair, you’re pretty dumb.”

“Hey!” I threw a clod of dirt at her, which hit her right in the centre of her forehead. We shared a look of mild amazement. I actually hit my target. It had been a while. I grinned with triumph, but it was soon smacked off my face as I got hit full whack with a dirt ball to the cheek. Then our eyes met in silent challenge. We both accepted.

It only took fifteen minutes for the massive garden to become an all-out war zone. There was no safe place. Dirt flew every direction, and we both took advantage of our own abilities - Meg using plants to trip me up or willing the dirt to fly with excruciating accuracy, and me, using beams of sunlight to reflect off Meg’s glasses and blind her, and when I found her charging at me, I flew over her head, just to be annoying.

When Meg shoved half a dozen handfuls of mud down my shirt, I decided to play dirty (well...dirtier). I conjured a hose, and watched with enormous enjoyment as Meg’s cocky grin melted into morphed into one of realisation and fear. I blasted her.

We chased each other around the grass, continuously soaking each other (Meg had used a plant pot as a bucket and filled it in a nearby pond) until the sky started to dim. It was early January, so it wasn’t too late, maybe six o’clock. Cold and exhausted, we made our way back towards my palace. My mother was waiting in the kitchen when we arrived, a new apple pie steaming on the dining table. She tutted at our wet cloths and sopping hair. With a wave of her dainty hand, Meg and I immediately dried.

“You let the other one go cold, dear,” Leto smiled, gesturing at the pie. Two golden-rimmed plates, complete with solid gold knives and forks which shimmered into existence beside it.

“Thank you Mother!” I said excitedly, kissing her on the cheek and sitting down at the table. Meg looked more wary. She eyed my mother suspiciously, while Leto smiled softly at her. Stepping closer to the table, perhaps under pressure, Meg inquired, “Is there ambrosia in it? I can’t eat much of that stuff.”

Leto laughed. “Yes, dear. But only traces. Only eat a slice or two, and you’ll be absolutely okay.”

I turned around in my chair and grinned over the backrest at them.

“Meg, it’s fine. She wouldn’t hurt a fly, would you, Mother?”

Leto looked horrified. “Of course not! Why would I damage such a harmless creature that’s so vital to the nutrition of other creatures?”

I gave Meg a look. “See?”

Meg seemed satisfied with that answer, but was still cautious in her approach to the table. But after no more than fifteen seconds, she was shovelling in mouthful after mouthful with incredible velocity, rapidly cleansing her plate of any crumbs. My Mother watched her with intrigue, and I could almost see the cogs turning in her head. While Meg helped herself to seconds, Leto quietly pulled me aside.

“When was the last time the child ate?” She whispered urgently, casting solicitous glances over at my young companion.

“It can’t have been long ago. Meg eats a lot,” I reassured. Her shoulders relaxed, her gaze softened. Leto looked thoughtfully back over at Meg.

“Does she have somewhere to stay?”

“I believe she intends to become a year-rounder at Camp Half-Blood. She’ll be with her siblings and cousins there. Her family.”

“Mmm…”

“Mother?” Leto peered deep into my metallic gold irises. Then back looked at Meg. Then back at me. “What are you thinking?”

“If she is to remain at Camp Half-Blood, you will not be able to meet with her. I implore you, son. Look into the future. What possibilities do you see for her there?”

I concentrated, absorbing in every part of Meg’s being and taking into account every decision I’d ever seen her make. (Being a god, this was easy. Oh, how I enjoyed the wonders of a working memory!) I started off simple to ease myself back into prophecy, by predicting where her fork would land next. [She will miss the pie and stab the plate] Clank! My power proved to be working. I stretched myself a bit further, into next week. I saw her hold up a red flag in triumph. [She will win Capture The Flag for the Demeter, Hades, Dionysus and Apollo cabins] Yes, that seemed plausible.

Then I looked years ahead, in fast-forward. I laid every likely option and decision for Meg out on a metaphorical table in front of me and examined them all. Useless nonsense rushed past me as I sifted through the possibilities. [On May 23rd, she will eat meatloaf for dinner] [Exactly two weeks from now, she will push a son of Dionysus into the lake] [In three years, she will set Peaches loose on a rabid Manticore] None of these helped me. I searched for the correct timeline, the one where she stayed at Camp. I found it.

[She will miss Apollo] Fair, I would miss her too. [She will feel lonely] I will too, friend. [She will distance herself from anything to do with Apollo, including his children] Wait, no- [She no longer considers Apollo to be a friend] STOP!

My eyes flew open. My mother held onto my arm, steadying me. Meg had turned around in her chair, seeming concerned.

“You okay?”

I stumbled for an answer. Would she really dismiss me? Would I dismiss her? “Uh, yes. Yes, everything is fine.” Meg’s eyebrows scrunched behind her cat-eye glasses. The rhinestones caught the light, and shone brightly.

“You look sick,” she announced, with her usual Meggy bluntness.

“Thanks,” I grumbled. “Meg, it’s getting late. Perhaps I should send you back to Camp.”

Meg pouted. “Why can’t I stay?”

“You know why. Father can’t find out you’re here.”

Meg groaned. “Ugh. Okay. Just don’t forget about me or I’ll march right back to kick you in the kneecaps.”

I smiled. “I would not dream of it. See you soon.” I waved my hand and Meg evaporated in a shower of gold, and I felt her reappear safely at Half-Blood Hill.

My mother turned to me.

“Well?”

…

We sat on the cold stone steps of the amphitheatre, where I’d dazzled the demigods into minor depression with my Lydian and one-four-five Progressions so many moons ago.

It was late afternoon and the sun shone softly through the trees, scattering beams of light around the secluded area. I appeared similar to what I had a few days ago, only this time I had donned a more ‘modern’ look from my usual toga. I wore an ACDC t-shirt under an unzipped orange and white jacket. My jeans were worn pale at the knees and hems, which contrasted the bright red of my nike trainers. Only my hair was much the same - long, blond and flowing down to my shoulders.

Little sparks of light bounced cheerfully off of Meg’s rhinestones. She kicked a pebble down the steps, and watched in fascination as it skipped, making tic tic tic sounds all the way to the bottom. She was still wearing the same teal tunic and green leggings, her gardener’s belt hanging loosely around her waist. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, she spoke.

“You said you wanted to ask me something?”

I nodded. “Yes, but I want to inform you that how you answer will not affect my view of you in the slightest. I will always admire you, whether you turn down my offer or not.”

“Offer?”

I laced my fingers, trying to think of the best way to word it.

“Following your recent quest,” (Meg snorted. I continued.) “I realised that I will not be able to see you as often as I would like. I will not be able to intervene on future quests, or protect you much beyond what my father allows. It will most likely be a long time before all the gods begin to treat the mortals as beings. I will also have to endure the endless mocking from my fellow gods, simply for changing my morals, and someone with mortal experience would be good to keep me straight. So, my offer to you, should you choose to accept it, is the offer of immortality. I would like you to live on Olympus, with me.” Meg’s eyes widened. Her jaw dropped. Seeing this, I rushed to hastily add to my unexpected statement. “Now, please know that this is not a one-time offer. You can say ‘No’ now, and come back later! Or not. Whatever you choose, I’ll always be looking out for you, okay?” Meg furrowed her eyebrows and blew out her cheeks in concentration. I watched her, not quite knowing if I should say more.

“Will I have to leave Camp forever? Will I be able to visit?”

“That’s the thing. You would only be allowed to visit if you have a specific purpose for coming, and you would have to make sure it’s iron-clad just in case Zeus confronts you about it. But I am working on finally getting those laws abolished. Hopefully, one day, you will be able to come simply because you want to. The catch is; I am not sure how long it will be until that happens.”

“So all my siblings might be dead.” I smiled sympathetically, feeling the chance of her accepting my offer sinking dramatically.

“Most likely.”

Meg gained her closed-off expression, her guards shooting up to prevent any and all emotional damage. I held my breath, waiting patiently for her to respond. It took a few minutes. Finally, Meg uttered at an almost indecipherable volume, “Can I think about it?”

I breathed a sigh of relief. That was not a no. There was still time to convince her.

“Of course, dear Meg.”

Abruptly, Meg stood and sprinted back towards Cabin Four without another word. I had expected this, but it still threw me through a loop. I ran my fingers through my luscious blond hair, and inhaled deeply through my nose. While I was lost in my thoughts, a voice suddenly piped up and made me jump a foot in the air in surprise.

“Hey Dad!”

Gasping sharply and clutching my hand to my thumping heart, I turned to meet the speaker. My son, Austin Lake, stood before me holding a battered, grey-silver saxophone and smiling nervously. I gestured for him to come and sit with me. He complied.

“You here to see Meg?”

I wrapped my strong arm around him, and pulled him close to my side. “I was going to visit you kids too, but you ruined the surprise.” I punctuated my statement with noogie on Austin’s cornrows. He giggled and shuffled closer to me, absolutely failing at being inconspicuous. I didn’t mind. My kids and I are born to be obvious. Why hide something good?

I gestured to his beaten saxophone. “What happened there? The Ares kids?”

“Nah. I never found the one I lost in the labyrinth, so I had to take this old one from the back of Cabin Seven. I don’t think it’s been used since before that orientation film was made.” He shrugged nonchalantly. “It sounds fine, but I wish it had I bit more…I don’t know…pizzazz? Flash?”

“A bit of shine is never amiss,” I agreed.

“It doesn’t matter anyways. I tested it out on Miranda Gardener and Sherman Yang, and they did kiss when I played ‘Careless Whisper’, but it just doesn’t help the whole YouTube thing, y’know?”

“Of course. Sometimes people simply refuse to take you seriously unless you look the part. A frustrating yet universal part of showmanship - one that none of my children should have to deal with.” I waved my hand, and the old saxophone glowed, and began to fix it’s dents. The tired looking grey colour ebbed away and darkened, a black sheen taking it’s place. The keys and rods however, brightened until they shone gold. Soon Austin was holding a very classy jazz saxophone that matched his black woollen peacoat. I am extremely conscious of the instrument matching the style of the musician, hence why all my instruments include some form of precious metal or stone.

Austin’s brown eyes glittered with pure excitement.

“Thanks Dad! You’re the best!” He launched himself into me hugged me like he would never let go. I drew him closer to me, savouring every moment. I heard him mumble something unintelligible into my chest.

“What was that you said?” I asked. My boy tilted his head up slightly, so I could only see his eyes and above past the folds of my ACDC tee. He repeated himself a bit louder.

“Do you read all our messages? Like, the ones Chiron gets us to write to our godly parents?”

I chuckled, raised one hand for dramatic effect and recited:

“Hey dad! I’m Austin

Chiron said you like haikus

Poetry is cool”

“Nooooo….” Austin groaned. “I can’t write poetry for my life…”

“I think it’s great! You were only, what,” I counted on my fingers. “Seven at the time?”

“And already better than your dad!” An unknown voice rang out loudly from behind us, making us snap back from each other and whip around to face the impish figure. Hermes held up his hands in mock surrender, his signature stupid grin plastered on his face as he sauntered towards us. His dirty blond hair bobbed in its curls with every step he took. He nodded to Austin.

“‘Sup kid? Did anyone ever tell you about the time Apollo was obsessed with Limericks? Maybe you could compose one of those about your old man’s ‘awesomeness’,” (emphasising the ‘awesomeness’ with air quotes. Humph!) “and send it to me later, yeah? For mocking purposes only, of course.” Austin shifted uncomfortably, clearly not thrilled to have been interrupted from rare cool father/cool son bonding time. I knew how tricky Hermes could be, and I definitely did not want to put my son through the embarrassment of somehow signing off his mother’s inheritance to cattle farmers in Indonesia, so I took initiative.

“Austin, why don’t you go show off your new saxophone to your siblings? I promise I will come back to visit again soon.”

Hermes snorted. “Yeah, maybe don’t swear on the Styx though, bro. Dad wants to see you about some flower planting quest.” His grin spread like he had just cracked an atrocious pun, and was awaiting the groans of his audience. “He’s soooo mad.” I gave a reassuring smile down to my apprehensive son.

“Do not worry about me, child. Hermes is a known fibber. I’m sure he’s not that furious. It will be fine.”

...

It was not fine.

As soon as I entered my father’s personal throne room, I could tell. The enchanted ceiling was dark with storm clouds. The atmosphere was thick and heavy with static and tension. I felt a trickle of sweat run down my back.

My father sat on a proud marble throne, its veins of grey curling like smoke throughout the white stone. The king himself wore a smart navy suit, complete with a matching tie and a mid-length salt and pepper beard that overshadowed his mouth. His long hair was styled not unlike my own, except a lot darker and less flamboyant. He took the form of a man in his late 40’s, but could only be shown by the unfashionable wrinkles around his eyes. He was well built, and, despite my love for my eight-pack, far more muscular than I thought was attractive or necessary. He glared down his nose at me as I walked down the aisle of blue carpet towards his feet.

He must have been forty foot tall, which was big even for a god. I stood at a more natural twenty. I did not dare make myself bigger. I did not want my father to be under the impression that I wanted to intimidate him. I did not.

I bowed at my father’s feet and lowered my head, waiting for the word to stand up. It did not come. Instead my father spoke in his low growl:

“Apollo.”

I swallowed my anxieties and forced myself to look up into his eyes. They were not their usual electric blue, as so many of his offspring had inherited, but they had been clouded over with a thick, angry grey mist. His dark brows were furrowed in concentration. A permanent scowl was fixed on his features. I willed my voice not to squeak or crack.

“Yes, father?” Zeus’s scowl deepened.

“Do you think I am witless, boy?” He rumbled.

“I - no, father,” I stammered. Zeus leaned forward in his throne, glaring holes through my head.

“Do you think I am beneath you?”

“Wha - no!” My hands subconsciously gripped my jacket and fiddled furiously with the zip. I could feel my godly sweat making the cool metal slippery. The air around Zeus condensed into a dark haze. Lighting cackled like an entourage of jeering bullies, laughing at my panicked face and hopeless predicament.

“YET YOU STILL DISOBEY ME?” I took several deep breaths. I was a god. I had faced python, while mortal, and defeated him. I was still undoubtedly terrified, but I thought of Meg, of my children, of Perseus Jackson. They needed me to take this first step into defending the demigods. My face hardened. My voice was calm, quiet and deliberate, but hid a tsunami of fear.

“Name the law.” My father’s raised bolt faltered, reflecting his confusion.

“What?”

“Name the law,” I repeated. “Name the law I have broken by ordering a demigod, whom I know well and am sure is capable of being assigned a task, to go on a quest.”

Zeus gritted his teeth, and growled in his gritty voice; “I watched you play, boy. Do you think you are humorous? Do you think you can scorn my gift in such ways? I gave you immortality. I made you a god! Yet you run around like a hooligan, associating with these lesser beings, for what? Your twisted idea of justice? I am the god of justice, you insolent child. I have decided our laws, and I can make more laws if I so wish. Do not test me.”

“As I remember brother,” a feminine voice cut the thick tension of the room, “You need council approval to decree a new law. Am I correct?” Zeus scowled, but his anger visibly dissipated. He sat back in his chair as the dark clouds surrounding the throne lightened into grey wisps, like one might see on a dull autumn’s day. I did not dare turn my back to my father to see the speaker, though I knew the voice well - a voice older than Zeus’. I kept my kneeling position, hearing the footsteps of the graceful Olympian stride down the single strip of carpet, stopping just behind me. I felt a soft hand on my shoulder. It pulled me up until I stood beside the tall, warm figure of Demeter, the goddess of agriculture.

She wore a simple, emerald-coloured dress that flowed down to her ankles, revealing a pair of bronze-coloured sandals. A thin, gossamer shawl of sage-like hue was wrapped around her shoulders and hung around her tanned arms. Her wavy blonde hair shared an alikeness to that of Sleeping Beauty’s. A ring of glittering corn stalks circled her brow. Her form was a few inches taller than my own. She kept her hand firm on my shoulder and glared defiantly up at Zeus with those striking green eyes.

“Margaret is my daughter. I invited her to Olympus to congratulate her on finishing her quest, as is customary. She and Apollo simply conversed over some flowers.” She looked down at me. “And I for one, am pleased that Apollo is finally making good use of that great space.” I smiled up at her, then glanced nervously at Zeus. His mighty hand stroked his beard in thought. At last, grumbled and said;

“Very well,” his deep voice echoed throughout the hall. “But be warned. Next time that mortal comes to this land with no believable reasoning, I will not be so merciful.”

“Of course, my lord.” Demeter and I both bowed in respect (well, more so ‘custom’ or ‘fear’ than respect, but whatever) and made our way out into the cheery sunlight, leaving the clammy throne room behind us.

We wandered down the streets in silence, watching all the minor deities, cloud nymphs and satyrs frolic and chat excitedly. I got a few gazes from a group of dryads, but thought nothing of it. Perhaps they had heard of what I did for the Palm Springs residents. Did dryads have some sort of mental link or Whatsapp text group? I imagined it would go like: “Hey gurrrll!!! ;D You see all this heatwave shiz??? Gone!!!! Apollo is #greatest” or something similar. After a few minutes, Demeter pulled me to a park bench that overlooked a large, shimmering lake. Ripples glided across the water. Every now and then, a tentacle rose above the surface and plunged back under, sending a spray of droplets to dampen anything in a metre radius. Some hippocampi splashed playfully around the shallows, some allowing a pod of Naiads to stroke their noses and fuss over how cute they were. We watched.

“You did well by my daughter, Apollo,” Demeter mused. She kept her eyes on the lake. No doubt, she was not comfortable congratulating her least favourite nephew, but I admired her determination to go through with it anyways. I may not have done the same. “I am surprised.”

I gave a short laugh. I was used to being mildly insulted. It did not phase nor offend me.

“Meg is truly an extraordinary demigod. You must be very proud.”

“I am.” A small smirk appeared on her otherwise neutral expression. “She is one of my best.”

“She could live here. You’d get to see her. I would too. I think a wild demigod energy such as hers is well needed around here.” The goddess of grain raised an eyebrow, and peered down at me from the corner of her eye. “I have offered her immortality,” I clarified. “She has not yet answered. I think if she accepts, you should be the one to grant her the immortality. Of course, I can do it myself, but I thought it may be more impactful for a mother.” She furrowed her brows, and her corn crown seemed to catch the light of the late afternoon sun, making her eyes hard to focus on.

“Zeus would not approve.”

“Zeus wouldn’t have a say,” I countered. Demeter only nodded her head ever so slightly, her face scrunched in concentration.

“Very well. I will accept if she accepts.”

…

Apollo was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Meg simply could not understand him. She lay belly down on one of the thick branches of the tree that supported the newly built Cabin Four like a panther reclining in the jungle, contemplating her idiot friend and his dumb offer. She sniffed, shifting her head on the uncomfortable bark. She liked Camp Half-Blood. The food was good, there was some people her age that she could beat in a fight - and older campers she could beat too - sword practice was fun. So was capture the flag. But Meg was alone, and maybe that was good. People crowded her on the first few days after the end of the quest, wanting details about the most dangerous parts. She had even been given a necklace with a single green bead on it that held a picture of a writhing serpent - Python, the monster she and Apollo had slain. Every now and again, an Apollo camper would ask questions about their dad, and she always made sure to give them less than flattering (but truthful) answers.

But that had worn off after a while. People left her alone, apart from Billie Ng and Miranda Gardener, who she was trying to teach how to summon a karpos (they were pretty bad at it). She hated that she missed her partner in crime. But if she left, she would miss her home, where she belonged.

‘Ughghhh” Meg groaned, sliding ungracefully off her branch and landing on the floor with a whump. She rolled onto her back and scowled at the unfairness of having to deal with feelings. Time passed. Eventually, she decided to make a call.

…

I didn’t scream. Nope, definitely not me, the cool and chill god of a-heck-load-of-things. No, I’m quite sure I stayed calm and collected at the sight of Meg McCaffrey appearing in a shimmering vapour form - in my shower.

Fine. I may have screamed. But you cannot blame me! It is one thing to take a shower with a ‘date’, and quite another to be peeked on by a twelve-year-old. I frantically made my best efforts to cover my perfect physique for the sake of the child, who immediately threw her hands over her eyes and made a ‘gross’ face. She wore a baggy Camp Half-Blood T-shirt over her usual dress, and a single bead hung by a thread on her neck.

“Meg, what the actual-” I hissed, cutting myself off. I took a deep breath and held my tongue to refrain myself from swearing in front of a kid (my mother would never let me hear the end of it if I didn’t). “Why are you Iris Messaging me? Now, of all times?”

“I didn’t know you were in the shower, dummy.” Meg blew a raspberry, her vapour form producing a few bubbles in the process. “I didn’t think you had to wash since y’know,” she gestured at my tanned body. I covered myself a little more, even if she did still have her eyes shielded.

“I don’t. It’s just relaxing,” I grumbled, grabbing a towel, wrapping it around my waist and stepping out into the steamy bathroom. I kept the shower running so the Iris Message could continue, which involved getting the towel wet. I prayed the extra weight would not lead to any unexpected revealings.

“I’m not supposed to be taking to you, Meg.”

Meg uncovered her eyes and snorted. “Says who?”

“Says my father.” I felt my face darken. “He heard about your little quest. He told me you could not come here again with out ‘believable reason’.” I punctuated the last part with air quotes.

“I told you that you should’ve had a plan.”

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “I did have a plan! My plan was for him not to find out.”

“How’d that work out for you?”

“Shut up.” I could not resist the smirk that played on my lips. I wanted to be around my friend more often. She was one of the few who still talked to me as an equal (kind of). The other Olympians…let’s just say they didn’t exactly show me the same level of respect has they had once done, with the limited exceptions of Poseidon (who had been mortal once before) and Artemis (who had never respected me - its a sibling thing). “Listen, I cannot guarantee that my father isn’t keeping a close eye, so let’s make this quick. What did you want to tell me?”

Meg’s face lost its humour. I was afraid she’d back out and end the message. Instead, she spoke. “I thought about your offer.”

I felt my chest swell with hope. Maybe she’d say yes. Maybe she’d come up and be my friend for eternity. Maybe I would have one more person to talk to. “And?”

“No.”

My smile faltered. I felt all sense of excitement in me shatter in that moment as I struggled to put together a sentence. “Wh…what?”

She looked down at her rough, calloused hands. “I don’t want to be a god. I don’t want to live directly under Zeus’s thumb. I killed Nero. I killed him because he was awful and forced me to do stuff I didn’t want to do. He made me feel stupid and useless. I got rid of that.” She stared me directly in the eye. “I never want to feel like that again.”

The argument I’d prepared died in my throat. Could I really blame her? After all, she was right. My father didn’t even allow me to talk to my friend. Meg didn’t want to be oppressed like I was. She was free. That was a feeling I could never truly have. I’d given up on it long ago.

“Yeah,” I croaked. “Okay.”

“Okay,” she mumbled back. “Bye.” Her figure disappeared, and I was left alone, standing in the all-too-quiet bathroom.

“Farewell.”

***

It had been several months since Meg had declined my offer. I still thought about her and my children every day. I searched for and aided a few of my less remembered offspring, guiding them to their respective camps. Thirteen-year-old Seamus, ten-year-old Anthony and two-year-old James made their way to Camp Jupiter. Nine-year-old Aiden, twelve-year-old Dwayne and six-year-old Marigold travelled to Camp Half-Blood. I had just ensured the safe arrival of Marigold, the curly blonde-haired excitable young demigod who seemed to have inherited my ability of Photokinesis, a rare and promising talent for my children to have. In other words, I was exhausted. So I teleported to the most calming place I could think of.

I collapsed down underneath the aged mountain laurel tree. It was located high up in a rocky, unforgiving mountain range, but overlooked the beautiful view of the other mountains, the lower halves shrouded in white mist. We often met here.

Beside me sat a young girl in a grey puffer coat and black leggings, her long dark hair tied back in a high ponytail. She was busy whittling on a long piece of wood, and so, did not look up at my arrival.

“Brother,” she greeted plainly.

“‘Sup?” I replied weakly, exhaustion filling my voice. I watched Artemis whittle for a while, my eyes half closed, the bow slowly taking its shape and the sound of the knife scraping evenly across the smooth surface calming me. “You making this for one of your hunters?”

“Yes. Being their leader has responsibilities, you know.”

I blew out my cheeks in exasperation. “At least you never have to go chasing down kids all over the world to drag to two camps in North America.” Artemis paused her whittling, and looked at me quizzically. “My son, Diego,” I clarified. “His mother is Spanish. He did not want to leave Madrid. But I finally convinced him after, what,” I tried to recall. “Three days? Ugh. Sometimes I just wish there were a few more camps around, ya know?”

The huntress had gone back to her work, her face contorted in concentration. “Mmm.”

“Are you even listening?”

“Uh huh.” I elbowed my beloved sister in the ribs, an effective attention-attracting tip I had learned over the course of my punishment; courtesy of Meg McCaffrey. Artemis glared daggers at me. “What?”

I beamed my most innocent smile. “You weren’t giving me enough attention, Artie.”

“Sod off.” She grunted. She will always deny it, but I saw a slight hint of a smirk seep through her annoyed facade. I grinned to myself as I decided to be as provocative as possible. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and snickered at her crabby expression and ancient greek curses as she tried to push me off.

There are many perks to being a sibling, dear reader, and annoying the younger sibling (or the one that appeared to be younger anyways) is most definitely in the top three. Along with the whole ‘If You Anger One Of Us You Deal With Both Of Us’ Ride-Or-Die attitude we can have (of course, this does not apply to every situation. See: the time Hermes pushed me into a very deep swamp, and all my dear sister did was laugh until she could no longer breathe).

Eventually, Artemis melted into the hug, leaning her young head against my chest. She took a deep breath and quietly said; “I am going to tell you something.”

I drew her a little closer, my embrace no longer meaning to provoke, but to comfort. I leant my cheek on her head.

“What’s up?”

“I am only telling if you do not get big-headed about it.”

“When have I ever done that?” I teased. “Honestly, I’m rather offended that you would even insinuate-” A small hand flew up past my face and grasped a lock of my beautiful, long hair - and yanked it downwards. “OW!” I rubbed my scalp and huffed down at my smug sister.

“You deserved that.”

“Uh huh,” I grumbled, unimpressed.

“What I was going to say was that I really did miss you, Ollie.”

“I missed you too. And I never got to say thanks. Y’know… for that time in Indianapolis. I couldn’t because the others were always around so… thanks.”

Artemis fiddled with a loose string on my sleeve. “Yeah, well. I had to pay you back for that time with Atlas and Luke…” she waved her hand, gesturing vaguely to the air. “So yeah. I guess I owed you one.”

Several years ago, my dear sister had taken the weight of the sky off a young maiden in an attempt to save her from being crushed. She succeeded, but at the cost of holding up the burdensome pillar of clouds for days without rest. By the time she made it back to Olympus, she was faint and required several days of rest (as ordered by her doctor; me). The topic was not often talked about. I wished everyone would have the same attitude over my embarrassing adventures. Still, I remembered mother and I being worried sick, and Zeus coming thundering through the door when he heard about her. We thought he was there to console or mourn, or maybe hatch plans on how to save her from the titan’s clutches. If you thought ‘What? That doesn’t sound like Zeus!’ then congratulations! You are learning. He told us that a demigod quest had been despatched, and if he were to find either of us interfering, he would rip out the ‘Number Ten’ lighting bolt. But not to worry, oh readers! He didn’t catch me.

Artemis shifted under my hold. We fell into a comfortable silence, and I found myself thinking about Meg again. Her tyrannical attitude, her odd fashion sense, her scent of baked apple. I could see every rhinestone in her cat-eye glasses. Every stitch in her well-worn dress. I got to thinking about how we would meet up again. A brilliant thought crossed my mind.

…

“Are we sure this is a good idea?”

“Relax, you big baby. It’ll be fine.”

*CRASH*

Meg blew a raspberry at the window she’d just obliterated.

“Well done,” I congratulated dryly. Meg kicked me in the shin, then readied another nerf bullet.

“I’m gonna miss if you keep distracting me!”

“Oh, was my mere presence distracting? I didn’t say anything!”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, sticking her tongue out in concentration as she aimed for the makeshift target we’d made and blu-tacked on the wooden wall. “I’ve got the gun and you’re being annoying.” I kept my mouth shut. The bullet was let loose with a twang. It went right through the hole where the window had once been. There were shouts from outside varying from “Get down, get down!” “Do not worry! I predict it to be no- six letters. Starts with ’T’” “Trench?” “Top-hat?” “That’s two words, Aloe.” “My bad.”

Of course, we were back at Aeithales. Palm Springs had welcomed us back with open arms. And I had my cover story set. I was here to personally check up on my Sibyl, as to not neglect my duties over prophecy, which was one of the reasons I’d been sent to Earth in the first place. I’d even gone to the extra trouble of making sure my dad was okay with it the day before. (“Because, you know, there may be some of my friends down there, cacti spirits and such, and I know you told me not to communicate with-” “APOLLO! IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING! GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM!”) So I figured I would be fine.

It was currently quite late, maybe eleven o’clock, and I had hung around all day. Just as Meg finally hit the target, I said;

“Perhaps I should get going. Do you want to spend the night here or go back to camp?” Meg sniffed.

“You don’t seem too bothered.”

“By what?” I asked. “Did I do something? Forgotten something? Today isn’t your birthday, is it?”

“No,” she stated bluntly, going back to aiming at the target.

“Care to elaborate?” I enquired cautiously. I did not want that nerf gun aimed the wrong way.

“You offered me immortality. I turned it down. You don’t seem upset.”

“My dear Meg. I simply respect your wishes, like I said I would.” I laced my hands together, trying to convey my feelings in an accurate way without bursting into a song that has all the feeling pre-written. “Your reasoning was sound, and while I do not fully understand your final decision, I trust your judgement. Besides, Percy Jackson turned it down too. So maybe it is not as valuable as I first thought.”

To my delight, Meg smiled. Albeit a small one. “Thanks. Do you think we’ll ever get to meet up? Without all the secrets and planning and stuff?”

I sighed. I really hoped so. “I do not know. One day, perhaps, my father will change his mind. I do not know when, or how. But I have hope that he will. As long as we keep working on him, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Right!” I clapped my hands together like I had seen dads do in movies to symbolise the end of a touchy conversation. “Now off to bed or I’ll turn you into a traffic light.”

I closed the door as quietly as I could, careful not to waken the sleeping demigod. Her snores were muffled as I strolled through night, evaporating and reappearing in my palace. I wandered the golden hallways for a while, taking in every piece of decoration and furniture in a different light. The palace wasn’t cold and useless as I had first thought. It was dazzling and elegant and me. I had been under the impression that because I wanted to heighten my morals and personally intervene more often, it would require changing everything. But it didn’t. So what if I liked shiny stuff? I can have good taste and still be an awesome god! It simply wasn’t the problem. It was only what I had lacked that had bothered me. And, looking down to Palm Springs one last time, I knew I had found it.

This was kind of a one off! The next chapter will be back with mortal Apollo during the trials. i just wanted to try something different.

#writing #fanfic #fanfiction #oneshot #toa oneshot #lester papadopoulos #apollo #meg mccaffrey #trials of apollo #toa #zeus #hermes #Austin lake #demeter #leto #artemis #olympus #olympians

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dirtdoesntneedluck · 6 years ago

Text

Second Futurama Script

I wrote a script for an episode of Futurama a couple month’s back, inspired by writing that first one I started a second, got stuck on where to go and have only a few weeks back finished it off. I don’t think it’s as good as the first (I don’t know if either are that good, but still) however I thought I’d share it regardless. Feel free to criticize it, all opinions are welcome, as long as it’s not a personal attack then I’m fine with it, we all have opinions on episodes of the actual show, so why should this be different?

Be warned, it’s 30 pages on Word so it’s a long read, it’s your choice, you don’t have to. For reference: Italics are description, bold is who’s talking, normal is dialogue, (Under name is the way the line is delivered).

(Disclaimer: I obviously don’t own the rights to Futurama, this is a non-profit idea and simply a writing exercise to keep me amused, so I believe it falls within fair use, please don’t sue! If you want me to take it down, I will.)

OPENING CREDITS

CAPTION: (Typing onto the screen) HELP! THEY CAUGH- (Previous text is deleted, replaced by-) NOTHING TO READ HERE. CARRY ON.

BILLBOARD CARTOON: ‘The Laughing Fish’ from ‘Batman: The Animated Series’.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS – DAY

Low shot on the building as several ships fly overhead.

INT. LOUNGE, PLANET EXPRESS – SAME TIME

The crew, minus Farnsworth, are sat watching the TV, but not really paying attention as they do other things

ON THE TV: Morbo and Linda present the news.

MORBO

-Sending prices skyrocketing again.

LINDA

(laughs)

I’m just glad I’m rich.

(pause)

Turning to more serious news and the late night robbery of a liquor store by a swarthy Latin bandit.

Everyone perks up and turns to Bender, who shrugs.

BENDER

Nope, wasn’t me.

They’re still staring.

BENDER

What? I can’t commit every robbery. I have a lot of scams to run.

Farnsworth enters. Fry turns off the TV.

FARNSWORTH

(happy)

Horrifying and terrible news everyone! We’re all certain to be killed!

The crew cheer, it takes them a few moments to separate the tone from the words.

LEELA

Wait a second, what do you mean killed?

FARNSWORTH

That’s right, killed.

FRY

Well, I can’t complain, I did live a thousand years.

FARNSWORTH

Alternatively however it may simply be-

(happy)

Good news everybody!

(normal)

And no one will be killed at all.

Bender tuts, half way through engraving a headstone, it reads: ZOIDBERG, FISH MONSTER, UNBELOVED BY ALL.

BENDER

Make your mind up, which is it?

FARNSWORTH

It all depends on the success, or lack thereof, of your latest mission. A delivery to the warring planets of Alpha-Zeta and Beta-Omega. Two delightful little places located in the cheerfully named ‘Murder Zone’.

FRY

What bit am I supposed to understand here?

FARNSWORTH

Only that they exist a mere 100 miles apart and have been fighting over a perceived slight perhaps committed by one, or the other of them, sometime in the past. No ship has ever gone directly between the two planets, as anyone having been to either is labelled a threat by both. Luckily, however, I’ve prepared disguises for you and the ship so you can blend in on both planets.

FRY

Cool, disguises, I understood that part. Can I be a pirate?

FARNSWORTH

No.

LEELA

What are we delivering?

FARNSWORTH

Both planets are being delivered the same items, parts for there large manufacturing plants. So it’s vitally important you don’t give them the wrong package, otherwise you’ll be killed on the spot.

LEELA

(confused)

Okay?

AMY

Wait, I thought you said we’d all be killed?

FARNSWORTH

No, only Fry, Leela and Bender will be killed.

HERMES

So what about us?

FARNSWORTH

We’re all going to take Nibbler for a walk, get ice-cream and have a generally pleasant time.

Amy, Zoidberg and Hermes cheer as they exit the room with Nibbler and Farnsworth. Fry, Leela and Bender sit, annoyed.

BENDER

Well this sucks.

They continue to sit. Farnsworth pops his head back in.

FARNSWORTH

Well, what are you waiting for? I’m not paying you not to be killed.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – LATER

The ship idles a little way off from the twin planets of Alpha-Zeta (left) and Beta-Omega (right). A-Z seems to be covered in a thick smoke, where as B-O is incredibly clean, you can practical spot the people on the street.

INT. CARGO BAY, PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – SAME TIME

Leela, Bender and Fry stand in the middle of the room, between the sets of clothes and packages for both planets. A-Z’s are very old looking, like something from Victorian London. B-O’s look is ultra modern, all clean and sharp edges.

LEELA

Alright gang these are the disguises we’ll have to wear. Alpha-Zeta first then Beta-Omega.

Fry picks up a pair of trousers from B-O’s side, there baggy, the only item from there outfit which doesn’t seem to fit.

FRY

Look at these clothes, they sure are goofy.

LEELA

Fry, it’s not for us to judge what these people wear, besides they aren’t goofy, there just weird.

BENDER

(laughs)

Well, I’m just glad I don’t have to wear anything.

LEELA

Actually Bender, the professor said we had to re-spray you for both planets.

BENDER

(grumbles)

Fine.

Fry picks up a giant stencil and wraps it around Bender, Leela then uses spray paint to fill the gaps.

Completed the stencil comes off and Bender is now covered by a lot of light brown markings, he looks in a mirror.

BENDER

Well I still look better than you two do.

Leela and Fry have changed in the interim, it’s all drab grey’s and browns. Leela wears a flat cap that covers her hair and Fry has some raggedy fingerless gloves on. Both of them, despite the nature of there top half and shoes, are wearing very thin black trousers.

FRY

That’s for sure, this cotton is real rough.

Fry itches, quite uncomfortable.

LEELA (O.S)

Don’t forget your moustache, Fry.

Leela throws Fry and identical moustache to the one she’s wearing. It’s a thick brushed early 1900’s design.

FRY

What’s this for?

LEELA

The air quality down there stinks and so does the planet, these will help us to breathe and release a blast of strawberry every few minutes.

Fry has put his moustache on. Can smell strawberry’s.

FRY

Oh, nice.

LEELA

Bender you’ll-

Bender has already equipped a stick on handlebar moustache.

BENDER

Way ahead of ya.

LEELA

Alright, that just leaves the ship.

Leela press a button on the side of the hull, which...

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – CONTINUOUS

...sees tiny little lights pop up out of the ship. They turn on creating a hologram. In this case the ship looks like a steam punk version of itself.

It heads towards A-Z.

EXT. SIDE STREET, A-Z – A LITTLE WHILE LATER

The ship carefully lands. The buildings here are made of stone and sit very close together. There longer than they are tall.

EXT. STREETS, A-Z – A FEW MINUTES LATER

Fry carries the package as he, Leela and Bender stride on. They seem to fit in well, aside from the trousers.

Smoke hangs just over head height. It means the residents of this planet, who are quite tall, have developed a forward lean, always looking down.

FRY

I’ve never seen so much smoke.

BENDER

Then some more won’t matter.

Bender lights his cigar and puffs out yet more smoke.

LEELA

Bender, you shouldn’t be revelling in the plight of these downtrodden people, you should be trying to help them.

BENDER

I don’t see you leading the charge.

LEELA

Hey, I give to charity you know.

FRY

You do? Which one?

LEELA

How should I know?

EXT. A-Z MANAFACTURING PLANT – A FEW MINUTES LATER

A large sign hangs above the plant: APLHA-ZETA MANUFACTURING CONCERN (NOT AFFILIATED WITH MOM CORP.). Only ‘not’ is in red whereas the rest of the words are in white.

Fry, Leela and Bender wander through the area until they reach the main door, it’s oddly short.

Leela presses the call button on the intercom.

LEELA

(male voice)

Planet Express.

Its a few seconds and then the door opens, they enter.

INT. CORRIDOR, A-Z MANAFACTURING PLANT – CONTINUOUS

Leela and Fry instantly have to lean forwards like the locals. The corridor is low because they’ve no need for the extra head space. All Bender has done is shorten his legs.

FRY

I think my spine just compressed.

LEELA

Mine too. Let’s get this over quick.

BENDER

(laughing)

You guys are always proving why your the infer-

Bender walks right into a low hanging light.

BENDER

Ow!

RECEPTION ROOM – MOMENTS LATER

The trio emerge into a slightly taller area. A woman sits behind a desk, is instantly suspicious of them.

RECEPTIONIST

You’re the delivery crew?

FRY

Sure are.

RECEPTIONIST

Right.

She’s unconvinced for some reason, exits the room into the office behind it.

LEELA

(low)

What’s that about?

BENDER

Fry, you idiot!

FRY

What?

BENDER

I dunno, do I need an excuse?

The receptionist returns, false smile on her face.

RECEPTIONIST

Please enter.

Leela leads Fry and Bender into the office.

OFFICE – CONTINUOUS

The office is again slightly taller. The height of a room here defines the occupant’s social standing.

The plant manager stands behind his desk. He watches as figures approach the frosted window that separates this room from the reception area.

PLANT MANAGER

So, you’re the delivery crew?

FRY

(slightly worried)

Sure are.

PLANT MANAGER

Uh huh.

Fry steps forwards and hands over the package.

PLANT MANAGER

(suspicious)

Let’s see, shall we?

The manager opens the package, is surprised to find it’s exactly what he wanted.

PLANT MANAGER

How about that. It’s what I asked for.

BENDER

Of course it is. What were you expecting?

Bender’s comment is ignored. The manager sinks to his desk and uses the phone, an old rotary model, talks very softly into it. The figures behind the frosted glass leave.

The manager gets back up.

PLANT MANAGER

Alright then, cheerio.

EXT. MANUFACTURING PLANT – A FEW MINUTES LATER

Fry, Leela and Bender walk out of the door and back into the smoke ridden area they were before. Bender extends his legs back to normal height.

LEELA

That was odd, right?

FRY

Definitely.

BENDER

They sure didn’t trust us.

LEELA

Maybe the professor was right. We’d better be careful.

They head back towards the ship, aware that there receiving a lot of attention.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – LATER

The ship fly’s from A-Z and stops a safe distance away. Off goes the first holographic design, replaced by the second, the ship now looks ultra modern, sleek and clean.

INT. CARGO BAY, PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – SAME TIME

Fry and Leela have changed outfits. Again, the trousers don’t seem to fit. As for their hair it’s pushed way up to a point, like a cone.

Bender is cleaned and then re-sprayed in the same manner as before. This time he looks a little like R2-D2.

EXT. METROPOLITAN CITY, B-O – A LITTLE LATER

The ship has no trouble landing, spaces are plentiful.

STREETS – LATER

Fry, Leela and Bender wander through the city. Its inhabitants are tall like their neighbours only they stand straight, making them almost eleven foot. It’s not only their height but their gaze, everyone looks up.

FRY

I wonder what it’s like being that tall?

Bender extends his legs up, reaching the height of the people around him. Its a few seconds before he comes back down, tear in his eye.

BENDER

It’s great.

LEELA

Did you see the building up there?

He extends again, comes down crying.

BENDER

Next left.

EXT. B-O MANUFACTURING PLANT – MINUTES LATER

This place is taller than any skyscraper on earth and it’s not even the biggest building here. It has almost the same sign to the first plant: BETA-OMEGA MANUFACTURING CONCERN (NOT AFFILIATED WITH MOM CORP.).

Leela, Fry and Bender approach the door. The intercom is too high for Leela to reach.

LEELA

Bender?

Bender lowers himself. Leela gets on his shoulders and then holds on as he extends his legs.

Fry is left alone for a few moments, can’t quite here the conversation but it’s the same as before.

Leela and Bender come back down hugging and crying.

LEELA

Fry, it’s great up there.

The door opens.

INT. CORRIDOR, MANUFACTURING PLANT – MOMENTS LATER

This plant doesn’t look like it needs any parts, it’s almost fully automated. The crew head down the huge corridor.

RECEPTION AREA – MOMENTS LATER

Fry, Leela and Bender enter. A male receptionist sits at his desk. Looks down his nose to see them.

MALE RECEPTIONIST

You’re the delivery crew?

The tone is the same as before, the crew share a look.

LEELA

Sure are.

MALE RECEPTIONIST

A moment.

The receptionist exits into the office behind.

LEELA

So-

FRY

Yeah-

BENDER

Right-

There on the same uneasy page as the receptionist re-emerges.

MALE RECEPTIONIST

Enter, please.

OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER

A very tall room. The manager sits at his desk to make it easier for him to inspect Fry, Leela and Bender.

MANAGER

Well, it seems you’re the delivery crew.

LEELA

(strong)

Sure are.

MANAGER

All right then.

Fry walks the package over. To the tall manager it’s very small. He opens it keenly, looks stunned.

MANAGER

The supplies?

BENDER

(to Fry and Leela)

Jeez, what do these people think there getting?

MANAGER

If you’d stay there a moment.

It’s a nervous few moments as they wait. The manager speaks hush tones into the phone.

The doors open, two security guards enter. The trio gulp.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – LATER

The ship, normal livery, heads away from the two planets.

INT. COCKPIT, PLANET EXPRESS SHIP – SAME TIME

The cork of a champagne bottle is popped. Leela pours the drink into three separate glasses. She takes one, Fry and Bender the others. They wear two medals each, clean gold and dirty bronze.

LEELA

Heroes! Can you believe it!?

FRY

I knew that psychic wasn’t lying!

BENDER

Yet another achievement for me to add to the list.

They clink glasses, down the champagne.

Leela picks up a copy of the B-O paper, the headline reads: PACKAGE DELIVERY COMPANY DELIVERS PEACE BETWEEN PLANETS. The picture is of the crew standing with the leaders of the planets A-Z and B-O, who shake hands.

LEELA

I can’t wait until everyone knows!

FRY

Finally I can make my nephew proud of me.

BENDER

This calls for only one thing.

Fry and Leela wait to know what that is. Bender opens his compartment and takes out two more bottles of champagne.

BENDER

MORE CHAMPAGNE!

Bender shakes both bottles until the corks pop and the champagne flies out.

INT. OFFICE, MOM CORP. – LATER THAT DAY

A robot butler pours more champagne into Mom’s glass. She soaks in a bubble bath, watching a TV the size of a cinema screen. On her left is a case of dodo eggs, she picks one out, dips it in caviar and then eats it like an apple.

ON THE TV: Morbo and Linda are reporting the news.

MORBO

Surprising news just coming in from the ‘Murder Zone’, Linda?

MOM

I feel richer already.

Single on Linda, the picture from the paper beside her.

LINDA

That’s right, Morbo. It seems a package delivery crew has brokered a peace deal between warring planet’s Alpha-Zeta and Beta-Omega. This has-

MOM

(screaming)

WALT! GET ME FARNSWORTH!

WALT (O.S)

Philo or Hubert?

MOM

HUBERT!!

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS – THE NEXT DAY

The ship arrives rather sloppily into dock.

INT. LANDING BAY, PLANET EXPRESS – MOMENTS LATER

Noise can be heard before the crew comes down the stairs. All three are drunk. Eight bottles of champagne will do that to a person. Their arrival is something of a farce.

When they do focus, slightly, they find a furious Farnsworth standing waiting for them.

FRY

Good news, professor?

FARNSWORTH

No, not good news at all. The opposite in fact. Bad news.

LEELA

(laughing)

Bad news everyone?

FARNSWORTH

Yes. You’re all fired.

That sobered them a little.

BENDER

Fired?

Mom enters, bucket of water in each hand.

MOM

FIRED!

She throws the water over Fry, Leela and Bender.

READY AREA – LATER

Leela and Fry are still soaking, though drying off with towels. They sit with Bender as Mom strides angrily around the room. Farnsworth watches on.

MOM

What exactly did you numbskulls do to broker peace?

FRY

Nothing, we just delivered a package to each planet.

MOM

Nonsense, you must have done more than that?

LEELA

No, we really didn’t.

MOM

Hubert! What did you tell them to do?

FARNSWORTH

Nothing.

Mom picks up the B-O paper, rolls it to hit Farnsworth with. Unfurls it to show him to front again.

MOM

This isn’t nothing!

Farnsworth looks at the picture. With Mom stressing him he really pays attention. Something clicks.

FARNSWORTH

Which planet did you go to second?

LEELA

Beta-Omega.

FARNSWORTH

(of picture)

And this is what you wore to it?

LEELA

Yes?

FARNSWORTH

God lord! You were wearing the trousers for Alpha-Zeta on Beta-Omega!

FRY

That’s how they were laid out?

FARNSWORTH

It was?

LEELA

Yes.

FARNSWORTH

My word. With you wearing the wrong trousers on each planet, they both must have thought you were ambassadors from the other. The resulting niceness fostered an atmosphere of peace between them.

MOM

Destroying my manufacturing concerns on both.

FRY

Don’t you make, like, a billion dollars a minute anyway?

MOM

Not since you screwed everything up I don’t!

BENDER

Then just start another scam. I’ve got a great one going with-

Mom takes out a remote, points it at Bender, presses a button to shock him.

MOM

Enough!

LEELA

What exactly do you want from us?

MOM

To re-start that war!

LEELA

And why would we do that? Both planets are going to be much better off without it.

Mom shocks Bender again.

BENDER

Shut up, Leela!

MOM

You’re going to do it because if you don’t I’ll not only destroy this company but the lives of everyone who works here!

FRY

(shocked)

Even Scruffy?

MOM

Especially Scruffy.

Scruffy, who’s been stood just out of shot the whole time, looks very concerned.

SCRUFFY

I reckon you kids better go cause war.

He wanders off.

MOM

You have three days. Starting from two days ago.

FRY

(confused)

So we have?

MOM

ONE DAY, IDIOT!

Mom storms off.

FARNSWORTH

Okay, you heard the mean lady.

MOM (O.S)

AND SHE HEARD YOU!

FARNSWORTH

I’d better be going.

Farnsworth scurries away.

INT. FRY AND BENDER’S PLACE – LATER

Leela paces up and down the room. Fry sits nervously beside a far calmer Bender, who sips a beer.

LEELA

We are catastrophically boned.

FRY

Got that right, I don’t want to start a war.

BENDER

Why not? Plenty of money to be made from war.

LEELA

No Bender, no wars.

BENDER

Just a little one?

LEELA

No.

BENDER

Fine. Then I’ll guess we’ll just let Mom destroy our lives.

LEELA

We’re not doing that either.

FRY

Then what are we doing?

LEELA

I don’t know.

FRY

Why does Mom even want a war?

LEELA

That’s a good question. We should find out. She’s bound to have files we can steal.

BENDER

How? Mom has the best security out there?

FRY

It’d take some kind of thief to pull off that job.

BENDITO (O.S)

Perhaps I can help?

On a wire above them is BENDITO, a bending unit with a thin moustache and an eye patch covering a missing left eye. He drops down. He’s like a more suave Bender.

BENDER

Bendito! What are you doing here?

LEELA

Bender you know this bending unit?

BENDER

Are you kidding? Bendito’s my mortal enemy.

BENDITO

We’re also in the same book club.

FRY

Why are you here?

BENDITO

Bender scammed me. I came to even the score.

LEELA

Bender is this true?

BENDER

Do you even need to ask?

BENDITO

You cost me a grand total of three dollars.

From his compartment Bendito takes out the medals earned earlier.

BENDITO

These shall suffice as compensation.

FRY

Hey, those are my medals!

BENDITO

I found them in Bender’s room?

LEELA

Bender you stol-

(thinks about it)

Of course you did.

BENDITO

(handing medals to Fry)

My apologies.

BENDER

So, you gonna help us break into Mom Corp.?

BENDITO

Why should I?

BENDER

It’ll be fun.

BENDITO

I’ll do it.

INT. CAFE ACROSS FROM MOM CORP. – THAT NIGHT

Bender, Bendito, Fry and Leela occupy a window booth that looks out towards Mom’s. They plot the potential heist.

BENDITO

According to my source-

BENDER

“Source”? You mean the robot mafia?

BENDITO

(sighs)

Yes. The robot mafia.

(starting again)

According to them the system installed in the offices works on facial recognition. If we can fool them, by dressing up as Mom and her sons we’ll have a small window to hack the computer.

LEELA

How do we get in?

BENDITO

According to a different source-

BENDER

Elzar? Is it Elzar? Sometimes Elzar cooks there, you’re talking about Elzar, right? I know you know Elzar.

BENDITO

(louder sigh)

Yes, Bender. Elzar, I talked to Elzar! Any other questions?

The waitress passes by.

WAITRESS

Refill?

BENDITO

No.

A robot in the next booth turns round.

RANDOM ROBOT

What’s two times three?

BENDITO

Six.

FRY

Why does a robot need an eye patch, can’t you just replace your eye?

BENDITO

It’s a style choice.

(pauses waiting for more questions)

Any more questions?

BENDER

We’ll ask the questions here.

BENDITO

(even louder sigh)

Anyway. Elzar says there’s an express elevator exclusive to Mom. If we can convince the operator that Leela is Mom we can gain access to the penthouse.

FRY

I wanted to be Mom.

BENDITO

Leela is Mom. Bender is Larry. I’ll play Walt and Fry you’ll be Igner.

FRY

Igner?

BENDER

Larry?

LEELA

Fine with me.

BENDITO

Then it’s settled.

EXT. MOM CORP. – A LITTLE LATER

The group are now dressed as there respective characters. Leela wears sunglasses to cover her eye. Bender and Bendito are very obviously robots. Fry actually looks like Igner.

BENDER

At least if we get caught we’ll have funny mug shots.

FRY

There’s a relief.

LEELA

Will you two shut up?

BENDER

Someone’s already in character.

LEELA

What do you mean?

BENDER

Nothing, ‘Mom’.

They enter the building.

INT. FOYER, MOM CORP. – CONTINUOUS

This place is a lot busier then they were expecting. They walk as quickly as possible to the back and the waiting lift. A robot in a suit operates it.

LIFT ROBOT

Back already, Mom?

There are quick glances between each other, they’ve totally forgot to check if Mom was even out. Leela reacts fast.

LEELA

(sweet Mom)

Oh yes, uh, deary, we forgot the candies.

LIFT ROBOT

You and those candies.

The robot moves to let them into the lift, joins them.

LIFT

The doors shut. The five of them are closed in without the chance of escape, a most dangerous time. This is tempered somewhat by Bender whispering something about Leela being like Mom to Fry and Bendito, they chuckle to themselves.

Something else is said, the chuckles become laughs. Leela becomes annoyed. Turns.

LEELA

(mean Mom)

Will you knuckleheads knock that off?

Leela swings a slap that connects on the cheek of all three of them. Is oddly satisfied by it.

She turns back to see the Lift Robot minding his business.

LEELA

(sweet Mom)

Boy’s need discipline is what I always say.

LIFT ROBOT

Yes, Mom.

PENTHOUSE – MOMENTS LATER

The lift opens. All bar the lift robot flood out.

LEELA

(sweet Mom)

We’ll be but a minute.

The lift door shuts. Now they’re in the clear.

FRY

So, ouch.

LEELA

I’m starting to like being Mom.

BENDER

Already got the mood swings down.

He laughs, gets slapped by Leela.

BENDER

See?

She slaps him again.

OFFICE – A MINUTE LATER

The group are in the office. Bendito searches the computer without success. Fry watches the wall of security screens.

BENDITO

Nothing yet.

LEELA

Hurry up, who knows when she’ll be back.

Leela looks around, nervous, spots Bender rifling through a filing cabinet.

LEELA

Bender, what are you doing?

BENDER

I was trying to find my warranty but all I keep coming up with are replies to letters.

LEELA

Which letters?

She walks over and picks out a letter, it’s from Alpha-Zeta, dated a hundred years ago. She finds a different one, Beta-Omega, again, a hundred years old.

LEELA

Praise to Athena. These are replies from the two planets. Mom must have sent letters to them and started the war. We could expose her totally with these. Good work, Bender.

BENDER

Even when I not trying I’m a genius.

FRY

Hey look, it’s the people we’re dressed as.

ON A SECURITY SCREEN: Mom and her sons approach the lift.

BENDER

We gotta cheese it.

LEELA

How, we’re on the top floor?

FRY

Bendito-

They turn to find Bendito has left the office already.

PENTHOUSE

Fry, Leela and Bender emerge from the office to find Bendito slowly opening one of the windows. He turns, caught.

BENDITO

Oh, hi.

(pause)

So I can explain.

MOM (O.S)

Can you?

Exiting the lift are Mom, Larry, Igner and Walt.

MOM

(to Leela)

Well, well, it’s like looking in an ugly, one eyed mirror.

BENDITO

(taking offence)

How dare you.

MOM

Quiet, Bendito.

LEELA

It’s over Mom. We found the letters.

MOM

So I started a war so each side would buy equipment from me, who gives a crap? I’ve seen war start for a lot less.

(laughs)

How exactly are you going to leave with those letters anyway?

Fry, Leela and Bender look to one another, they have no idea. Leela catches Bendito edging towards the open window, spots his escape plan, a good old fashioned rope.

LEELA

I think the real question is. How are you going to catch us?

Leela rushes Fry and Bender to the window, together with a late reacting Bendito they grab the rope and begin to slide down it.

CUT BETWEEN PENTHOUSE AND EXT. MOM CORP.

Everyone is sliding down the rope at pace, but the building is huge, there not even a quarter way down.

FRY

(getting rope burn)

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

Mom looks down from the window at them.

MOM

Idiots.

She unties the rope. It slackens.

LEELA

Um, guys.

Everyone looks as the rope passes them by.

FRY

That’s bad, right?

Everyone bar Leela starts screaming, she has to think fast.

LEELA

Everyone grab on to my legs.

They do. Leela slips through the Mom dress, still wearing her normal clothes beneath, and grabs the bottom of each side of it. It catches the air and becomes a makeshift parachute.

Mom stares at them as they float away.

MOM

What the crap? I didn’t know I could do that?

EXT. SKY – CONTINUOUS

Leela is barely clinging on to the dress, she’s being weighed down too much, it’s starting to affect the altitude.

LEELA

We’re too heavy.

FRY

(offended)

What are you trying to say?

BENDER

Wait, I have an idea.

Bender spots the roof of a building coming up. He kicks Bendito off of Leela’s leg. He drops.

BENDITO

(falling)

See you Thursday.

Bendito lands with a thud on the roof. The gang laugh as they begin to gain altitude.

EXT. PLANET EXPRESS – DAY

We whip around the building.

INT. LOUNGE, PLANET EXPRESS – SAME TIME

The whole crew sit around watching the news on TV.

MORBO

Mom stock took a dip today as letters emerged showing her to have set the war between Alpha-Zeta and Beta-Omega in motion almost a hundred years ago. However Mom stock trebled in value just hours later when war broke out between Sigma-Epsilon and Kappa-Tau.

Leela turns off the TV, disgusted.

LEELA

Typical, we stop one war just to cause another.

FRY

But at least it’s not the same war, right?

BENDER

The important thing is it’s not happening here.

FRY

Amen.

LEELA

Ugh.

CUT TO CREDITS

#Futurama #Not tall or wide

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