My Favourite Songs of 2014
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My Favourite Songs of 2014
Now that 2015 is well and truly upon us, I thought it would be a good time to look back at some of my favourite songs of 2014, and what they meant to me. Not all these songs were released in 2014; some of them date back quite a long way. But they all struck a nerve for me last year. Here’s why:
360 – Live It Up
This upbeat number from a fellow aussie rapper who has struggled with depression in the past was a good reminder to me that I’ve only got the one life, and to make the most of it:
Art vs Science – Create/Destroy
In a similar vein, Art vs Science reminded me that as humans, we have two options: create or destroy. We’re always operating out of either love or fear. But why would you destroy when there is so much to create?
Billy Joel – Angry Young Man
2104 was the year I finally got in touch with my inner rage towards my parents over the way they behave towards each other, and my anger motivated me to finally tell them point-blank that I wanted it to stop. Anger is an empowering emotion that motivates us to stand up for what is important to us, and I had long repressed mine. Not any more!
I used to like this song for different reasons, way back when I self-righteously thought that angry people were just being stupid. One particular line stands out for me:
I believe I’ve passed the age of consciousness and righteous rage
Maybe I’ll become as enlightened as Billy in 2015?
Birds Of Tokyo – Plans
Another catchy one, and relatively easy to play on drums so I got right into it. I even played this live on stage with the crew from the Sydney Jam Band Sessions meetup during our pub jam session at The Roxbury Hotel on 28th June 2014. The bass player complained that the sliding bass riff was shredding his fingers, but I was happy to get a step further towards overcoming my fear of playing in front of an audience. It’s time to move on now and start my own band, but I really enjoyed playing with those guys.
Dire Straits – Sultans Of Swing
Another song I played live at gigs in 2014 was this Dire Straits classic, when my old band Heard of Cats covered it. It was a challenge for me because the rhythm is fast and syncopated, plus I sang lead vocals while playing drums since our outfit was just a 3 piece. But I just love the feeling when the bass comes in during the chorus.
Thanks for the memories Paul and Gabriel; we were the sultans all right:
Foster The People – Best Friend
I totally got into Foster The People in 2014. This song rocks, and I learned to play it on drums. I hope I did everything I could to help my best friend when they were all strung out last year.
Foster The People – Coming Of Age
As I said, totally got into Foster The People, so they get two favourites in this list. This song has a funky kick drum rhythm that took me a while to master, but eventually I got it. Also, I did a lot of growing up in 2014, and to me that’s what Coming Of Age is about. Feels like, feels like it’s comin’…
Gotye – Somebody That I Used To Know
I got into this song when it was first released while on my 2013 annual winter road trip north in search of a warmer climate. I was stuck in the Hervey Bay Youth Hostel with a rotten cold for two weeks when it came out, and having it on high rotation in my MP3 player helped get me through. I remembered it again during my 2014 road trip, and although it should really be on last year’s list, I didn’t do one then so it’s here instead:
Highasakite – Darth Vader
Who couldn’t love this quirky song comparing one’s self to the evil villain from Star Wars by Norwegian band Highasakite? I just think it’s great. It always makes me smile:
Highasakite – Since Last Wednesday
Another great one to play on drums. For me, this song is about the fact that many of us guys don’t let the other people in our lives ever really get to know us or what is going on inside. We don’t know how to deal with anger because nobody ever taught us, so we’re still walking around with infantile rage that builds every time we get pissed off. We bottle things up until we explode, and then everyone around goes “He would never do that!”
Actually, yes he would. He would, and he did:
Jordin Sparks & Chris Brown – No Air
Living without love is like living in a world with no air. 2014 sure had its moments when it felt like I was living in a vacuum. How am I supposed to breathe? The love is there, and I’m getting better at recognising it. When I can’t feel it, this song gets me through:
Joshua Kaddison – Jesse
This song is so beautiful, I felt compelled to spend about 2 months solid in lock-down learning to play it on keyboard last year when I was playing in the short-lived band The Vipassana Agents. We never played any gigs, and the band folded out of lack of momentum. Or maybe it was creative differences, who knows. I was the drummer, and the lead guitarist was so impressed with my drumming skills that he suggested I take up keyboard instead. No wonder we didn’t exactly gel.
I just love playing this song. I really feel the guy’s pain:
Jungle – Busy Earnin’
Catchy tune, and the dancing in the video rocks! Also a good reminder not to focus too much on earning money if you want to really live and pursue your true dreams. It helps keep me motivated when the dream seems unrealistic:
Lighthouse Family – Ocean Drive
I used to listen to this song while walking down to meditate by the banks of Lane Cove River, when I lived in Lane Cove. It reminds me of those times. The lyrics also really move me:
When the clouds arrive we’ll live on Ocean Drive
Don’t know why you’re so blue
The sun’s gonna shine on everything you do.
In October 2014 I moved from Lane Cove to Bondi Beach. Now I live near the ocean. I like to think I live on Ocean Drive:
Marc Cohn – Walking In Memphis
This is just such a beautiful song, I’ve set myself a goal of learning to play it on keyboard in 2015:
MGMT – Kids
I just thought this song seemed catchy at first. Then actually listened to the lyrics and found a deeper message: I was feeling really stuck trying unsuccessfully to break old patterns of family conditioning that have held me back, and I think my unconscious was trying to tell me something:
You were a child,
crawlin’ on your knees toward it.
Makin’ mama so proud,
but your voice was too loud.
We like to watch you laughing.
You pick the insects off plants.
No time to think of consequences.
Control yourself.
Take only what you need from it.
A family of trees wanting,
To be haunted.
I grew up in a pseudo-religious family with a controlling mother and learned to control myself in order to seek her love and approval, rather than learning to express my true self. I became hypervigilant, always worrying and over-thinking the consequences of everything.
I’m not a Christian any more, but I now understand what Jesus really meant when he was quoted in Matthew 18:3 as saying: “Unless you are converted and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven”: Being in a non-judgemental state of flow like a kid is heaven.
So now, I seek to live my life spontaneously and intuitively, with a child-like sense of wonder and joy. Doing what your mum approves of isn’t the only nor the most important thing in life. Take only what you need from your family of origin, and discard the baggage that doesn’t work for you:
Mumford and Sons – Little Lion Man
I was stunned to find this song juxtaposed on my MP3 player against Kids one day while seeking solace on my skateboard. I discovered it on my 2014 winter road trip and just love the guitar rhythm and the sound. To me the lyrics represent my shadow side or inner critic that loves to undermine me by saying that I’m wrong and everything is my fault after all:
Rolls Bayce – Don’t Get Me Wrong
Enough analysis already! I just like this song. It’s catchy:
The Aston Shuffle – No Place Like Home
At first, I just thought this was a catchy tune from London band The Aston Shuffle, and decided to learn to play it on my drum kit. Around the same time I started standing up to my controlling mother and was exchanging letters with her requesting that we introduce some new ground rules into our relationship so I could feel safe around her. Half way through learning to play it I started listening to the actual words and was blown away:
I’m writing you again
I’m writing you again
So don’t you worry now
Just try to understand
Just try to understand it’s all
For us
Stay calm
Just say you’ll be alright
You will see one day
Stay calm, the wait will be a while
But I know we’ll be okay
These are the times
You can’t deny
But there’s no place like home that we will find
Once in your eyes, I feel alive
But there’s no place like home, I’ve realised
I hope my mother reads my letters with this in mind. I also think my unconscious was leading me to this reminder that all relationships have ups and downs, and things aren’t a disaster just because we’re going through struggles in the way we relate. The important thing is to be authentic (i.e. at home in ourselves) so we can feel alive, and the discomfort is a sign of growth:
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Nevermore is a gothic tragedy. Part I: The Tragedy
This essay assumes that you've read the first season of Nevermore. If you haven't, you'll be eating spoilers.
First of all, a disclaimer: you won't find the term "Gothic tragedy" in theory books, because I just pulled it out of my sleeve. But it seemed appropriate to put it in those terms because, hey, beyond theoretical structuring, genres are also used as a guide to content, and that's kind of what I want to express with this.
Partly because I've noticed that I've called this comic a tragedy on more than one occasion, and talked at length about Lenore and Annabel as gothic characters, but never bothered to delve into these matters, and with the hiatus until (possibly) October, I think it's time to rectify that situation.
But also because I think there are a lot of things in this story that fall into place if you read it under the logic of those genres.
Originally, this was going to be a single essay, but it turns out it took over 2000 fucking words just to explain why it's a fucking tragedy, so I'm going to split this shit in two because I don't want to burn anyone's eyes out.
Tragedy and Types of Tragedy
This is the ridiculously abridged version because this is a really long story, if you want more information on the subject I highly recommend reading Aristotle's Poetics, Nietzsche's The Birth of Tragedy or watching this OSP video for a more proper introduction. If you're interested in Shakespearean tragedy, The Cambridge Shakespeare is a amazing compilation, and here's the essay that talks specifically about what the hell Shakespearean tragedy is.
Tragedy has been linked to the origins of theater as such, found in the festivals dedicated to Dionysus (if you want to know more about the cult of Dionysus, you can watch this video to start), where poetry contests were held, specifically of dithyrambs: lyric compositions dedicated specifically to Dionysus. This later led to the inclusion of an increasingly sophisticated chorus using masks. This was no longer poetry, but the first expressions of theater as we understand it in modern times, at least for Europe and the countries colonized by Europeans.
Nietzsche also points out that tragedy condenses within itself two opposing impulses represented in the gods Apollo and Dionysus, expressed in the terms "Apollonian" and "Dionysian": order, mathematics and music (understood by the Greeks as science) vs. party, debauchery and chaos. The clash between the beautiful and the grotesque (understanding that the "beautiful" can be disturbing and the "grotesque" can be strangely beautiful). This description is not entirely literal, of course, but it must be kept in mind that in order to have the fundamentals of a tragedy, one must have these two elements: order and chaos. A synchronized waltz between the rigid structures and the rupturing.
Yes, those two are enough.
Step by step, I think it is important to point out what are the transversal elements to tragedy - classical or Shakespearean - that are present in the comic.
The first important concept that appears on this page is Amarthia. The tragic mistake, the first domino that topples the whole stack, is the specific event that sets tragedy in motion, and we spectators of tragedy can only stare in horror at the situation, knowing that everything that follows will go terribly wrong.
At least as far as its protagonists are concerned, Annabel and Lenore's Amarthia has been said but not seen: the dinner party where Annabel will wear pearls, indicating to Lenore that she is in on the charade. From then on, every step they take will bring them closer to the fate we know: the arrival of both of them in Nevermore. This story ends with them both dead.
And if I had to point out the Amarthia of the comic's topicality, I would dare to say that this is it:
And this:
Annabel refuses to explain to Lenore why the plan has to be the way it is, while Lenore agrees to be part of it (the fact that she disagrees with the whole situation is a plus).
The interesting thing about this is that the roles are reversed: before, Annabel sealed the tragic fate of both of them by accepting Lenore's proposal, while in Nevermore, Lenore sealed the tragic fate of both of them by accepting Annabel's plan.
Another important term that comes up here is hybris. While it is true that hybris represents ego, this does not necessarily mean that the hero is self-centered in a personality sense; hybris is the tragic hero's (misguided, of course) belief that they can turn their terrible situation around. And, well…
That ends badly in tragedies. Very, very badly.
At this point, it is necessary to start pointing out the elements of each type of tragedy, because something interesting is happening: within the ancient walls of the purgatory that is Nevermore, a classical tragedy is taking place, while in the past, Annabel and Lenore were the protagonists of a Shakespearean tragedy.
Classical Tragedy
One thing to understand about classical tragedy is that these are stories of humanity versus divinity. The predestined fate that comes upon mortals at the hands of beings superior to them, even if those beings do not appear directly. The external forces superior to the characters do not intervene directly (at least not in most cases), but they put all the pieces in place for the tragic hero to fall headlong into his terrible fate "by their own hand". Yeah, that shit is so unfair.
In Nevermore, fate is represented by these two bastards: The Deans act as the ominous shadow of divinity that sets the rules of this battle royale. For all intents and purposes, this pair of bastards represents the tragic fate of the characters: only one will survive to have a second life. And there is (theoretically) no way to escape.
This is where we start to get into thorny issues. If I had to point out the classical tragedy that Nevermore most resembles, I think I'd get a smile out of Hadestown fans: Orpheo and Eurydice.
Okay, let's review: Orpheo is a highly talented musician who, after losing his beloved, goes to the underworld to find her. Hades and Persephone give him a chance to get her back if he doesn't turn around to see her until they leave the place, he does so at the last second, she returns to the underworld, and Orpheus spends the rest of his life in misery mourning her.
That's the thing, the story of Orpheo and Euridice is a tragedy for the most depressing reason of all: love. What seems like a generous gift from Hades and Persephone is actually a condemnation, because they ask Orpheus to do the one thing he could never do: stop looking at his beloved. In some versions of the story, he can't even hear her as they walk; will she really be her, or has he been tricked? Will she be frightened on this journey and he will not be there to comfort her? What if she has trouble on the road or an accident and Orpheus has left her behind? Orpheus loves Eurydice so much that he cannot save her under these circumstances because he cannot stop watching over her long enough to get her out of here.
Now let's go to Annabel and Lenore, the same thing is happening here, these two idiots love each other. It's probably the only thing they know for sure in this bullshit game. And for Annabel and Lenore, to love is to protect, it's to be the shield that will be there to defend their beloved in the face of adversity, she's been hurt in a terrible way and they will do anything to stop anyone from hurting her again.
But tragic fate, represented by the Deans, has set things in motion for this to quickly go to hell:
For Lenore to understand Annabel's actions, she would have to tell her that's why she's so afraid, why they shouldn't get attached to anyone, why she thinks it's necessary to pretend they don't remember each other. But Lenore can't be okay with Annabel carrying everything alone, because she sees how it hurts her, because Annabel is clearly hurting. She goes to great lengths to confide in Annabel, but she can't come up with a plausible explanation for all this crap either.
For Annabel, becoming a villain and enduring all this pain is slightly less horrible than dragging Lenore into the Deans' psychotic game. But Lenore just loves her too much to let her do that. Lenore could protect her if Annabel were by her side, so why does she keep leaving? She was hurt the first time, why do it to her a second time?
The feeling of not being heard, the frustration that the other just won't listen to her pleas and won't stop what she's doing to allow her to be cared for, runs through both of them because it's the exact same situation, "Why won't you let me do this for you?"
The answer is that Annabel and Lenore are asking the other to do the one thing she could never stop doing: stop trying to protect her. That's why they fight.
This relationship has become a power game that neither can win because they are both exactly the same. A tug-of-war that will only be resolved when something breaks. Hopefully not irreparably.
And speaking of the P-word, let's talk Shakespeare, people.
Shakespearean Tragedy
The good Bard took classical tragedy and brought it back, but changed enough elements of it that it had to be renamed because some of its fundamentals were rewritten. The most notorious of these is that while Shakespeare does not ignore the presence of higher forces or supernatural entities, the fundamental basis of Shakespearean tragedy is not the conflict between humanity and the Fates/Gods.
It is power.
Those who wield power, those who are corrupted by it, and those who crave it. These tragedies speak of moral corruption, the victims of power, and those who sink under the responsibility that power brings.
This is the reason why Shakespeare's tragic heroes belong to the nobility, come from opulent families, or hold important positions. In this case, we have as protagonists two women who were born in a cradle of gold: Lenore apparently comes from a family of old money, and while we do not know if Annabel also comes from a family of old money, we do know that there is no shortage of coins around here.
But status cannot protect Shakespeare's protagonists from the society in which they live, whose agency is sometimes literally represented by people with power. This puts them in a situation from which they cannot escape and which screws them from the start (in other cases the Shakespearean protagonist is the figure of power and seals his own fate). Here, the odds are stacked against them from the start because they are women and, as if that were not enough, lesbians.
I think it's no surprise to anyone that the Shakespearean tragedy most similar to Nevermore is Romeo and Juliet.
Let's review: Romeo and Juliet are two young people who meet at a party and fall madly in love. Their families hate each other, so they cannot be together. The two secretly marry, but after an argument Romeo kills a man and is banished, despite a plan hatched by a priest friend so they can run away together, things go terribly wrong and they both end up committing suicide.
This follows a similar logic to Orpheus and Eurydice: the tragedy here is that these two are in love. But where classical tragedy says, "They love each other so much they can't save themselves," Romeo and Juliet, like Annabel and Lenore, works with two layers of conflict.
The first is the social and political. These young people's families hate each other, so they can't be together. In the same way, Annabel and Lenore can't be together because they're both women.
This is also a reference to one of the central themes of Romeo and Juliet: the clash between tradition and modernity. I think if you squint hard enough, you can see the relationship between these two as Victorian conservatism and homophobia screwing up their lives in the same way that tradition screws up Romeo and Juliet's.
The other layer of the problem is the one that has to do with love: Romeo and Juliet love each other so much that they cannot live without each other. This is what drives them both to suicide, even when they are given the opportunity to continue their lives separately. They love each other so much that they cannot live without each other. Just as Annabel and Lenore desperately want to be together, this is what starts the engine of tragedy when circumstances prevent them from doing so.
Another thing it takes from Romeo and Juliet is the role of the parents as a representation of the power that oppresses the characters. In Romeo and Juliet, the Montague and Capulet lords pull the strings of their children's lives, and it is their resentment that creates the barrier between the lovers. In the case of Nevermore, Ira and Thaddeus are the personal jailers of their respective daughters: Ira wants to get Annabel into an arranged marriage by hook or by crook, and Thaddeus first gets Lenore a fiancé and then keeps her locked up in the fucking attic.
Finally, a tragedy that can be read as a reference to Nevermore, though more subtly, is Macbeth.
The plot is simple: a trio of witches tell Duke Macbeth that he and his descendants will one day be kings. This leads him to murder his cousin, King Duncan, and everything goes downhill from there, because Duncan's murder didn't even amuse the prince.
Yes, at first glance it doesn't seem to make much sense, but that's because it's referring to a specific moment. Specifically, the most discussed and controversial scene in the play: the dialog where Lady Macbeth and Macbeth discuss killing Duncan.
This scene has kept the Bard's fans arguing for centuries: is she manipulating her husband so that she can be queen, or is she just verbalizing Macbeth's wishes that he be allowed to commit the crime, and saying that she will support him in it? Impossible to know unless someone gets a working Ouija board.
This is the same logic that follows the flashback scene where Lenore talks to Annabel about the plan. The important thing here is that the comic decides that the answer is: it depends on who you ask.
Given Annabel's attitude toward Lenore, we can interpret that she does not think she was manipulated or anything. Lenore is not a devious woman who put things in her head, it was her knight in shining armor who came to save her from a marriage she didn't want. Yes, she may have had her doubts, but she definitely liked her chances, enough to accept them.
On the other hand, what this tells me is that Lenore thinks the opposite: that she convinced Annabel to be part of this hoax that ended with both of them dead. A crazy woman who dragged the only person she cared about into a dangerous game that cost them their lives, she considers herself as guilty as the perpetrating hand of the crime.
Conclusion
I think the first time I decided to do a review under this particular lens was when I started to notice where Annabel and Lenore's arcs seemed to be going.
On the one hand, given how things are going, it seems that Lenore has to start taking off the blindfold to realize that things aren't as simple as she thinks, and stop letting others make the hard decisions for her because it hurts everyone.
On Annabel's side, you have a character arc that seems to be aimed at being honest with other people, not letting her fears stop her from making risky decisions, and not dealing with all the bullshit herself.
If what I just said leaves a bad taste in your mouth, that's normal. Because it's fucking unfair.
That Lenore should be the one to stand firm - not out of guilt, but out of responsibility - for her actions feels like shit after everything the poor girl has been through. The same thing happens on Annabel's side, that she has to give in to a situation where it makes so much sense for her to shut down, where it makes sense, even without her background, for her to behave that way.
But that sense of injustice is one of the foundations of tragedies. The feeling that, in her situation, it is practically impossible to think that anything different could be done is the basis of catharsis: the pity felt for the character, the fear generated by identifying with their terrible situation.
The expiation of these emotions, which are produced in the spectator by the fall of the tragic hero.
Now, it is interesting to ask how the fall of Annabel and Lenore will be. The simple answer from a tragic point of view is death, a thing we know has already happened once, why not a second time? After all, that's what awaits tragic heroes. Unless you're Medea.
It's impossible to know how the comic will develop, but it seems to me that this is as far as the tragedy goes. For the next part, I want to talk about gothic novels, female vampires, the female writers of the period, and the last gothic. Believe me, buddies, there is no more obsessive romantic bond than that between a Poe protagonist and their dead bride.
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