#self-prioritization

[the-healing-mindset]

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A post shared by Todd Baratz, LMHC 🌈 (@yourdiagnonsense)

[joitotheworldstuff]

Do You Need a Break? From What? (I Do Need a Break from Users)

In a world where we’re always “on,” always connected, and constantly expected to perform at our best, it can feel impossible to hit pause. Whether you’re working full-time, studying, running a business, or just juggling the demands of life, taking a break often feels like a luxury rather than a necessity. But here’s the thing—taking a break isn’t just a luxury; it’s a fundamental part of…

[mindset-magic]

The Power of Healthy Selfishness

The Power of Healthy Selfishness

Why Putting Yourself First is the Key to a Fulfilling Life In today’s society, the concept of selfishness often carries a negative connotation. We’re taught from a young age to put others before ourselves, to be selfless and considerate. While these values are important, it’s equally important to recognize the power of healthy selfishness. Putting yourself first is not selfish in the negative…

[sunderwight]

What if the peak lords concluded that the most likely answer to the mystery of Shen Qingqiu's behavior is not that he's possessed now (because they checked and all the tests came out negative), but that he must have actually been possessed before?

No one thought to check him before, after all. They just figured he was an asshole. But then he suffers a qi deviation, almost dies, but comes back nicer. Only slightly lacking in context for his own past behavior and lifestyle, too.

It fits remarkably well, doesn't it? All this time the real Shen Qingqiu must have been trying to free himself from a demonic spirit that took possession of him in his youth! It was the demon who was the asshole, dragging his poor host to brothels, alienating his sect siblings so that they wouldn't investigate him too closely, abusing his disciples and probably weakening the sect from within as part of some nefarious plot!

But then the real Shen Qingqiu finally managed to beat back the demon himself, even being gracious enough not to point out what happened to his martial siblings and so save the sect's face. What a guy.

[succulentsiren]

Stop shrinking and do the things YOU actually enjoy. Have your favorite cup of coffee or wine. Eat the food you love. Listen to the music you love. Watch your favorite show. Wear makeup and dress up. Read interesting spiritual and occult books. Do your tarot readings. Collect your crystals. Get tattoos. Be the black sheep. Don't shrink your beliefs, lifestyle or presence just because someone else is uncomfortable with your self-expression.

[enii]

Slowly learning to become the happiest version of myself💕

[duckysprouts]

Does MC (Transmigrated into Jacob Black) actually care about Bella? have they formed any sort of connections with the other characters beside from what the system makes them do?

jake is in a weird place mentally where he hasn’t fully accepted this world to be his reality so in his head he’s in an otome game as a background character. he likes bella the way that we like jacob (fictional character) but i don’t think he’s fully come around mentally, which is why he accepted the whole situation so easily

but everyone is real and i think part of jake knows that. he’s just sorta traumatized from dying and transmigrating so he’s in denial (or legit doesn’t give a shit. i’m honestly unsure what jacob’s real personality is)

[feminineenergylife]

Prioritize yourself, your needs, your happiness, your peace & your goals first ♡

[chimerafeathers]

i know we love to rag on Siffrin for feeling so miserably guilty and manipulative for the crime of [checks notes] “doing nice things for their friends so that they’ll be happy and care about him even if it’s not perfectly sincere on his end”

but like. in context i don’t think that thought process is anywhere near as nonsensical as it always sounds written out like that

i’m sure i’m just stating the obvious here but it’s not really about the “crime” of making people happy. it’s about what he’s not doing, which is anything that would allow their friends to have any real knowledge or agency over the situation they’re all in.

it’s about never acting according to his real feelings in the moment and letting them see the messier version of him that exists now, never allowing their relationships to evolve or develop meaningfully beyond the “safest” iteration, the thing that is Known and produces the Correct Results, because anything else has the possibility of leading to negative emotions towards Siffrin.

Siffrin knows he’s not really doing all this for their benefit, not entirely, because the “right” thing to do would give them the full context to choose how they feel and what to do about it. they’re happy, but in a way they don’t get to keep. they’re happy, but in a way that keeps Siffrin safe from anything more complex and real. they’re happy, but only because some Siffrin in the past said the right things once, and this new, bitter, lonely, desperate version wouldn’t know how to get the “correct result” without a script to follow. they’re happy, and it was real once, it meant something once, but not anymore.

they cared about that Siffrin, yes, but would they still care about this one, if they knew? if Siffrin ever allowed them to know? (he won’t, he can’t, he refuses.)

and there’s something that could have been said in favor of Siffrin allowing himself this “selfishness” if it made him happy anyway, if it could be a genuine source of comfort in a difficult situation—but it doesn’t! not really! because that guilt is there, because that fear is there, because of how flimsy it all inevitably feels.

so they’re not doing it for their family’s benefit, because that happiness is predicated on lies and ignorance. he’s barely doing it for his own benefit, because they’re torturing themself by revealing things they no longer want to reveal, concealing things they no longer want to conceal, acting out of fear of rejection rather than genuine desire for connection. who benefits from this hollow “kindness,” really?

that’s why the last loop had to be the ugliest one. Siffrin had to see that the worst could happen and there could still be love and connection on the other side. that even when the party sees the worst of him, when they have the agency he’s been knowingly denying them, they will still choose to love him.

[dykekarkat]

6 am and im thinking about andrew on the drugs again. everyone in his life thinking they were necessary bcus without them he's a danger to society. like even his family believing they're good for him when he only got put on them in the first place for protecting nicky. the belief that off the drugs he's destructive and joyless. which. means that people genuinely think he's happy while on the drugs. even kevin not wanting him to come off them until after the season.

like from the Start neil sees the drugs as something andrew hates from the Beginning neil is commenting on how violating they are. mostly bcus he's a perceptive fuck. but like he never presents them as smth good which makes its so hard to wrap your head around the fact that everyone else. is in fact pro drugs. like wow. wow. that's crazy. that's terrible andrew minyard i need to put u in a blanket burrito so badly.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

gukgak specifically from my typing (man w/ three jobs & a creeping sense of dread)

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

Dead Poets Society: standing/sitting down

Look at this.

It’s a bit hard to notice on the film (there aren’t many scenes where the angle is just right to show it) but the space in front of the board (where teachers teach) is elevated from the rest of the classroom.

My teacher told me some days ago than that used to be common when she was younger but that it’s not done as often now. It wasn’t so long ago (she’s young) so maybe some of you also met it. I haven’t. When she told us this, it got me thinking and I had an epiphany in the middle of my ancient greek class.

They stand in Keating’s class, a lot.

His first class is literally them getting up from their desks, getting out of the class (this already has been analyzed a lot), and stand in front of the photographs.

Keating continues these classes, outside of class and while standing. Giving them freedom, by taking them away from the oppressive Welton environment, and also by making them stand, making them equal.

When two people are standing, they’re equal, regardless of height. When a teacher is standing but a student is sitting, they’re not equal, the teacher is higher and the student is forbidden from getting up. The teacher is meant to be listened to and paid attention to.

Keating is making them equal to him, but also empowering them too, giving them power (like the power teachers have over students, because it’s the teacher’s role to be standing, and Keating is sharing that role with them).

Even when they’re not all standing, Keating almost always puts himself on his students’ level, or even below them (we’ll get there)

If they’re on the same level (all sitting or all standing) then they’re seeing face to face, they’re equals. This is part of what was new about Keating’s teaching (since the boys are used to the rest of the teacher’s traditional, strict, and disconnected teaching), he treats them as equals.

It’s no surprise than the first scene with Keating and the boys outside of class is with all of them standing.

When Keating is there emotionally for Neil, they’re both sitting, so they’re both equals.

Height = power. The higher you are (standing) the more power you have. If they’re all standing/sitting then they’re equal (if they’re all sitting it doesn’t mean anything regarding power).

However, he isn’t always on their level. He is, after all, their teacher, and so he stands and teaches and they sit and listen. This is also a tiny proof of how he doesn’t actually abuse his power, unlike what mr Perry says.

But even when he is in a typical teacher position (standing in a room full of sitting people) he still deviates from this because he gets close to the students. He’s standing but he’s also in the middle of the class, between their tables, leaning towards them, not in the front.

There’s more height=power scenes in the movie. You’ll understand it better with examples.

Like Charlie getting up to actively challenge Nolan (and then lowering himself when he was getting punished)

And then Charlie sitting down when Keating (who is standing) goes to reprimand him (to act like a teacher, to teach him and scold him)

Or also Knox kissing Chris (who is laying down, with no power over Knox kissing her cause she’s asleep and unaware) in the party. During this moment, Chet is also sitting down, until he realizes what happens, and then gets up, punches Knox (Chet has the power), and continues standing while Knox is laying on the ground.

Or McAllister leading his students outside. It means he learnt from Keating, than Keating helped him aswell, and now he’s treating his students more equally too, and giving them more freedom and power.

Maybe the football scene where they lift Keating up, too. Not so sold on that one but maybe.

Or Charlie and Cameron. Cameron standing vs the immediate inversion than comes after Charlie punches him. Cameron falls momentarily, Charlie has the power. Then he recovers and gets up and starts talking to them about how “if you’re smart you’ll do exactly as I did and cooperate” and the thing is, he’s right. He’s standing, you know what that means? That he has influence, power. Perhaps some of them (certainly not Charlie, and maybe not Todd, but some of them) agree with him. After all, they can’t do anything else. Cameron had the power in his hands by confessing everything and the rest of them are helpless to do anything. Can they bring Neil back to life? Make Nolan forget what Cameron told him? Give Keating his job back? No, they’re helpless. That’s why they’re sitting at the start of the scene.

Of course, there’s also the standing on the desk scene. Keating stands first, and then they follow his example. He gives them a bit of power. While they’re standing, Keating is also standing, but below them.

I would also say standing=confidence (sometimes). With Todd, mostly.

Obviously not every single scene with a sitting/standing character symbolizes something, sometimes they’re just standing, but if I really try I can make it become something.

Like the fact than in this scene the only sitting characters are Cameron and (pre-confidence) Todd (a scene with Todd refusing to go the study group, most likely because of insecurity and anxiousness) (+ Cameron is very visible during this scene, even tho he has no reason to be, nor a reason to be seated in the first place. He was standing before, I checked, and only sat right before the camera panned to this scene).

Or Todd sitting down while writing (and then crumbling) Carpe Diem on a piece of paper, thinking he couldn’t possibly do it. Or Todd sitting when telling Neil he doesn’t wanna read at the meeting.

Or Todd sitting when he’s writing a poem before he made his Whitman poem with Keating (and got a bit more confident), and post-poem he’s standing up while writing another poem. (Also the lightning, pre-poem he’s wrapped by shadows, post-poem he’s under the light)

Or Todd sitting (initially) during the desk set scene, but then after Neil makes him feel better, makes him feel more confident (less insecure), he stands up. He has the power and throws the desk set.

Or Todd reading his poem in the deleted scene in the cave while standing, or Todd being forced to sign after Keating’s death while sitting, or even Todd being seated when the poets (who he just met) tell him there’s a study group, if he wants to go (he definitely didn’t go).

Or Todd sitting when telling Keating he didn’t write a poem (lies, he just doesn’t wanna read cause he’s insecure) but then standing to make up a poem (which makes him more confident).

Keating lowers himself, while Todd stands. Gives the “stage”, the power, to Todd for a few minutes.

This scene also has a lot of movement.

Starts with (pre-poem) Todd sitting, and Neil appears, super excited, and lowers himself to Todd’s level, they’re friends, they’re equals. Neil gets up and begins talking about the play and carpe diem, he’s standing, he’s confident, he’s deciding to do the play regardless of what his dad wants, he’s in power. Todd is still sitting, and he becomes the voice of reason, what if you father knows? Neil continues talking about how he won’t know while standing, but eventually his excitement wears away after remembering his father is in power, not him, and so he sits down.

Then the “no” scene, a sitting, unconfident, Todd and a standing Neil (who recovered from what happened before). The “I’m being chased by Walt Whitman” scene, they’re both standing.

Todd sits a lot. Like, a lot. He’s basically always sitting. Well, at first. Towards the end of the movie not as much.

Like in the final scene. Todd is sitting in class but then stands up on his desk. He’s confident, he has the power.

But, we can mainly see the standing/sitting dichotomy with Neil. God, Neil. So, so, so many scenes with Neil and standing vs sitting.

One of the first scenes with Neil and his dad and boy is it a ride.

Neil is “talking back” to his dad, that’s why he’s standing, because he has got a bit of power, he dares to argue and try to keep the school annual.

The poets are sitting, powerless to help or intervene, after all, it’s not their place. (Don’t ask why Todd is standing)

Mr Perry is standing, obviously, as he’s in charge. When they get outside, same thing. Neil continues “talking back”, trying to explain himself. He’s standing.

But then, in the deleted scene, he gets back inside after, and he sits. He accepted he has no power in front of the situation, he accepted he can’t do anything about it.

Another scene with Neil and his dad. Mr Perry is sitting before confronting Neil about the play (he was powerless regarding Neil joining the play, he didn’t know about it and Neil joined despite his opinion) and then getting up to tell him to quit the play (he’s getting his power back, forcing Neil to quit. However, Neil is still standing, he’s still going through with the play, he’s in control)

When he goes to talk with Keating (as I mentioned earlier) he’s sitting. One, because Keating and him are equals in that moment, and two, cause he feels powerless.

During the play the poets (+ Keating) are sitting down. They’re powerless to do anything but watch. Watch as Neil acts, watch as Neil’s dad takes him away.

Neil is standing. He’s in control, he’s doing this against his father. Mr Perry is standing. He still has power, and he’ll show Neil exactly how much power over him he actually has later.

(Also, Neil gets told to go see his father while he’s sitting)

After the play, Neil is forced into the car (powerless to leave), and he sits.

And

Does this ring a bell?

The discussion starts with Neil sitting down, his mother ALSO sitting down, and his dad standing. He has the power, he makes the decisions.

His mother is also completely in the middle of mr Perry and Neil, so she agrees with both sides (or can’t choose who to support)

Then Neil stands up, ready to protest. His mom stands up too, to tell him she they were worried about him, and, following the standing/sitting motif, probably to back him up, if he spoke.

But Neil decides against it. He’s convinced his father won’t listen, what’s the point? He loses his power. Gives it away. He sits back down.

His mother then gets near, and pulls herself to his level, lower, even. Ready to comfort him, but then stands up and leaves.

Neil’s death sequence is so interesting because there’s so much movement and yet it still manages to be slow and quiet.

Neil is standing (he has control over his life now, he can choose whether to end it or not).

Then, Neil is sitting down, in front of the gun (he’s not powerful, actually, he’s powerless in front of his father and the only thing left for him is the gun in front of him. Remember, Neil didn’t wanna die, he just wanted to be free. He has no other choice if he wants freedom, he’s actually powerless).

Then, his body is laying on the ground. No power left at all.

Regarding his father, he’s laying down, sleeping (powerless in front of Neil’s decision that he’s taking in that very moment, he can do nothing about Neil wanting and deciding to kill himself).

Then, he gets up, ready to get mad at him, but when he sees neil’s body and realizes, both neil’s mom and him sit on the ground, powerless to do anything about their son’s death, because there’s nothing to be done now.

Then, Todd

And of course, the most iconic scene in the movie.

They’re all standing, Keating included, but Keating is visibly lower than them. He has influence, but he doesn’t have power anymore (he got fired). The students, tho, they got power, they’re standing up. Also Nolan is visibly lower than them aswell, and very clearly powerless to make them get down. Does Nolan have power? Sure, he’s standing and he’s the principal, but he’s also lower than them, powerless under them.

Not every student is standing, only those Keating helped, only those Keating made more confident, only those Keating gave power to. The ones who Keating changed their perspective (standing up in a desk was to see things from a different perspective).

tags: @neil-perrys-glasses @gay-mooshrooms @si-nemo-me-reminiscetur @make-much-of-time @autumnbookworm81 @neil-perrys-suicidal-tendencies (so many people omg)

[mindset-magic]

The Power of Healthy Selfishness

Why Putting Yourself First is the Key to a Fulfilling Life In today’s society, the concept of selfishness often carries a negative connotation. We’re taught from a young age to put others before ourselves, to be selfless and considerate. While these values are important, it’s equally important to recognize the power of healthy selfishness. Putting yourself first is not selfish in the negative…

[croquettish]

re: Bartosch as angst-bait for Hans: I'm all for jealous Hans, but I gotta admit that I grieve the lack of jealous Henry! The way Henry acts at the wedding when he finds Hans with Enneleyn and later when he watches them dance together could just be chalked up to divorce-arc annoyance, and obviously disappointment that their von Bergow plans didn't pan out, but I love to headcanon that Henry's jealous, because we really see zero jealous Henry elsewhere in the game (as far as I'm aware, at least!). I can't even find any fics that feature a jealous Henry!?

Ohohohohoho HWELL!

I actually pinpointed that moment as the one where (to me) Henry's feelings hit him full force. I loooooove that moment so fucking much.

The reason why I think we don't see a lot of jealous Henry is because of a number of reasons:

Henry is amazing at keeping a lid on his emotions. He represses and represses and represses.

Especially when it comes to Hans, Henry refuses to prioritize himself or his own feelings in any way.

Hans doesn't give Henry a ton of reasons to be jealous. The wedding is a rare exception, and consider!! Hans never found out about that. If someone is writing a fic from Hans' pov, there is not going to be even a shred of jealousy from Henry because Hans is all but drowning in the muck and the mire of his own jealousy.

Henry knows that Hans doesn't want to be engaged to a woman he's never met before. But even there, we do see the tiniest hint of jealousy, tiny enough that Hans would never notice.

If you want a good example of all of this, consider Henry's reaction to the news of the wedding. Not a shred of jealousy is seen by Hans. Instead, Henry rushes in to reassure him:

Later, he asks what they're going to do about the wedding (We're in this together, Hans, don't worry. If you want this fixed, I'll fix it just like how I fix everything else!), and when Hans is ready to despair, Henry proposes a few alternatives. Imagine you're Hans in this scenario. Would it seem to you like Henry is jealous?

He doesn't have a ton of reason to be jealous (this would be a loveless arranged marriage after all), but even so, the aforementioned jealousy that does exist is so subtle that it would be literally impossible for Hans to know it's there at all, since he wasn't part of the conversation with Bartosch. All Hans would see is Henry ready to reassure him and to help. Not even a single thought is given to how Henry feels because, well... Henry isn't giving a single thought to how he feels.

[serpentface]

This was going to be a panel of a little comic but I got too invested in drawing minute background details so, here.

[perspicaciouslynameless]

i find it a little funny that people are like "how is he going to navigate a relationship with his boss when his livelihood, and his sole means of supporting his daughter, is on the line"

and then eun ho is out here flirting constantly with ji yun and subtly daring her to get closer to him, and more comfortable with him