nkhealth

[bella-goths-wife]

I wasn't sure initially but after reading them all I must admit I've enjoyed your Yandre Vs x pet posts and love Velvette in particular. Can you do something similar but just for Velvette? Either Yandre, she owns your soul or just an obsessive girlfriend (general neutral reader).

Yandere girlfriend velvette

Warnings: obsessive behaviour but not as bad as pet series, reader is an objectively bad person but in a the devil wears Prada way, ooc velvette?

This isn’t canon to the pet series and is a completely different au! So reader is not pet and is treated significantly better

First of all, you’d have to be something special for velvette to treat you as an equal, let alone develop a romantic relationship with

And you were definitely something special

You were a fashionista demon who died in the 2000s, but your death would not stop you from building an empire

You created unique clothing pieces that blended the fun and freeness of the previous generations with a fresh Y2K style

Think monster high outfits, your outfits held darker and lighter tones blended together which incorporated different cultures from all over the world

You also had a unique ability that helped you with this, you had the ability to put your emotions into the clothing you’d handcrafted

Literally, so if you made a scarf while feeling sad, whoever wore the scarf would then feel sad for however long they wore the scarf

This made your brand unique and gave you an edge that stood out from the other companies

You started out on market stalls but eventually you gained investors and expanded into a company that even had hell’s celebrity’s wearing your clothes

Stolas had commissioned you to make Octavia’s debut dress, veroskia had asked you to create her entire wardrobe for her tour around the hells rings and even the Lilith was photographed wearing one of your dresses

You had officially built your fashion empire that you’d always dreamed about and you even owned your own tower

This unfortunately meant that you couldn’t keep up with demand and handcraft each clothing item and would have to expand the workforce and hire skilful factory workers

This meant that your ability to put your emotions into the clothing wouldn’t work, so you made a limited edition line out every year with one new clothing item coming out every month

Each outfit would have a theme that connected with the emotions, so you’d do a rouge rage or a cerulean calm

You’d sell these to the highest bidder and would quickly become your top earning products with brawls happening at the bidding wars

But your company being successful only made your bad personality traits worse as you became more demanding and perfectionist to your staff in a way that made you a bad person but in a devil wears prada way that had the newer generations of demons calling you an icon

You had an attitude very similar to velvettes, only with the skills and the maturity to carry it

Velvette hated watching you grow your empire so much that it almost rivalled hers in popularity and income

She hated that you’d practically done it all by yourself while she had relied on Vox financially and he only did that because of his interest In her abilities with social media

She hated that she actually liked your clothing and she hated that your ability made you stand out

But she hated most of all that you two had come to hell within months of each other, yet you were a respected ceo and overlord while she was seen as a joke by overlords and parts of the fashion community

She also hated how insanely pretty you were, but she didn’t come to terms with that until later

She would try and do anything to discredit you and make it so your popularity would go down when you were neck and neck

She tried ‘exposing’ you on social media for having poor working conditions and being rude to workers but she forgot this is hell and literally no one cares

She tried slandering you and your clothing brand on social media, but she forgot your modern and you know how to use social media to your advantage too

You kinda turned into a meme similar to the Wendy’s twitter memes whenever you clapped back at velvette

She tried to pull your investors by threatening them with voxtech legal action, but you’d become self sustaining and could handle the loss with having hells celebrities commissioning your personal pieces

She tried to make you look foolish in front of the other overlords, but they all respected you much more than they respected her

She even tried to copy one of your designs but you called her out and she had to do one of those influencer apology videos but it mostly just consisted of her badmouthing you and justifying her actions

Her hatred bored on obsession with how regularly she stalked your profiles and life

After around ten years of this rivalry, you grew bored with it and you were running out of ideas

So you contacted the Vs and sat down in a meeting with them where you suggested a collaboration of the fashion designers on your terms

Velvette wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, but Vox insist that it would be extremely profitable and practically forcing velvette to accept

So you started a collaboration

You and velvette butted heads a lot or some stylistic choices

It was so bad that eventually you couldn’t be in a room together for a few weeks

This collaboration took months, and during this time velvette got to hate you up close as she got to know every annoying detail about you

Except that hatred changed to something different over the months she worked with you, you intrigued her in a way that no one else has ever before

It all came to a stop one night when you two had gone out to a club together for social media promo for the upcoming collab

You shared drinks and complaints about one another and one thing led to another and you two had a drunken make out session in the back of the limo

But velvette hauled ass as soon as she realised she was swapping spit with her arch nemesis

She laid in bed and thought about her actions

Could all of those years of feeling hatred and jealousy towards you just been her suppressed attraction to you?

Could all those tense moments she assumed was awkward tension actually been sexual tension?

The thought made velvette want to scream into a pillow

She pushed her feelings down and decided to just avoid you until the collab was over

She thought it would be easier to hate you rather than face her obvious attraction to you

You tried talking with her many times during the collab but she just ignored you, and this hurt you deeply

So you complied with her wishes and after the collab ended you went back to living your lives without each other

But velvette found herself missing you and being around you

Staff especially noticed that she was much harsher to them then before

She felt herself wanting to reach out to you to beg you to either kiss her or reject her because surely rejection would be easier to deal with than this

But it all changed when rumours started circulating

Velvette had been innocently scrolling through social media until she came across a drama channel that claimed to have spotted you in a romantic moment with none other than veroskia mayday

Velvette found herself consumed with absolute disgust and jealousy

She stalked yours and veroskia’s profile and begged Vox to use his hypnosis to send trolls to verkoskia’s profile

The rumours were cleared up after you made a response that claimed that you and veroskia were only friends, but velvette still felt consumed with rage

She did something completely out of character

She went to you at your place of work and cornered you in your office before confessing every little feeling she’d ever had for you

She practically begged you to be with her, but you just sighed and explained that she had hurt you with her actions and that you couldn’t see yourself in a relationship with her

“It would hurt the brands” is what you also said, and that cut velvette deeper than any knife

She had felt pathetic, and she’d never feel pathetic in any relationship

Even before she had gotten to know you, your instant rise to success left her feeling small

You held power over her, and maybe that’s why she was so obsessed and attracted to you

She’d felt surrounded by people who were less than her all her life, and falling for you felt like finally finding an equal

And she wasn’t going to let you go that easily

She’d destroy you and your company if it meant that you’d love and rely on her

Hope you guys enjoyed and let me know if you want me to make this another series

Tag list:

None yet, let me know if you wanna be tagged in future works like this for this if it becomes a series :)

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

The Biggest Problem With Hazbin Hotel's Rehabilitation Mentality Is Trying To Make All Sinners Victims Instead Of Owning Up To Their Own Sins

I think the biggest problem with Hazbin Hotel rehabilitation mentality is that they focus in on how sinners are victim of circumstances rather than owning up to their problems and changing themselves. I think the biggest thing with this series is the fact that they think the problem is society instead of someone's own issues how they got into hell.

One of the first indications of this bs is making it out that Lucifer and Lilith were just misunderstood dreamers were against a strict ignoring that they caused sin in the world and caused help humanity's downfall. But the narrative ignores that fact and tries to treat them as victims of heaven, so we can have Lucifer as a misunderstood sad boy instead of how in the Bible he was jealous of humanity and wanted to bring it down with him due to God's love for them. A misunderstood sad boy wouldn't do this type of shit and Vivziepop selling it a load of it.

I know this is going to be controversial but I think Angel Dust is hindered as a character but not focusing on what got him into hell. And it wasn't just the drugs and sex, because he did kill people and some of them probably didn't end up in hell. So just imagine him being sent to heaven and his former victims recognized him for his crimes and until now showed repentance. However, the narrative even then doesn't focus on that fact but the idea he's a total victim and doesn't show part of his way to redemption is get his life back together and admit he's done shit where he wasn't the victim but the victimizer. One could say he was put through that life, but then again show his sister is in heaven and that she chose a life of virtue and made it. So, he has no excuse of his dad or brother getting himself into hell except himself and he needs to work on it. Even if he's a victim to Valentino, he still is a victimizer in someone else's eyes who recognizes him decades ago.

And I am also going to say this the Extermination is used as a way to have all of hell be turned into pitied victims that you forget a lot of them are in hell for a reason. And even more they are doing antics that got them probably into hell like murder, sex, and other types of depravity. While not all sinners are on the same level, the exterminations as a whole just i used to make you forget that they are there for a reason and erase that there is a reason they weren't given a chance into heaven. Seriously, Emily herself called them innocent souls when in any other scene they are far from innocent and the reason why Adam is depicted as a one note villain is because they can't fathom the idea that maybe the Extermination could be used to cull the worst sinners or something.

I think the biggest problem with Hazbin Hotel's every sinner is really a victim it comes ironically counter to finding redemption. A show which Vivziepop says she inspires from but she completely misses the point is Bojack. She says she's watched it but the biggest point of the show just because you are the victim doesn't give you an excuse to act like a total jackass to others and not own up to your mistakes. The problem is Habzin Hotel never lets anyone own up because they have to play victims, especially any character favored by Vivziepop. Redemption doesn't come from seeing yourself as a victim, but recognizing your own mistakes and how to reform from them. And frankly I didn't see Angel Dust want to reform from his mistakes, but just want a home away from Val. The problem is that Hazbin Hotel is about enforcing victimhood instead of owning up that you did bad things and need to change. An excuse for your behavior is still not fully an excuse and you need to own up to your actions.

[pep-rambles]

Lucifer is a Swiftie headcanons because I kin this man so much I am projecting my other hyperfixations on him

But also I mean c'mon,

Look at him

yes there is RadioApple in this

-It probably started from Charlie. When she was in high school (post emo phase obviously) she may have enjoyed Taylor Swift (maybe Fearless got her through her senior year because I can't stop projecting) Lucifer started listening to try and have something to bond with his daughter about. But about the time Charlie kind of lost interest is about the time Lucifer doubled down on his obsession.

-He has been to basically almost every Eras concert, usually in really good seats because many a swiftie has offered to sell their soul for tickets. He said keep your soul just let him tag along.

-He is definitely an Evermore stan mostly because of relating too hard to the divorce narrative of it.

-Speaking of, Charlie has threatened to lock him out of his Spotify after catching him on the floor crying to “Champaign Problems” on repeat too many times. She never would but most definitely tried to ban him from listening to it for a month.

-She then caught him crying to “You’re Loosing Me”

-Angel Dust is most definitely  Beyhive (killer bee probably) and though initially joking that they are rivals the two men bond over their love for the two queens of pop, recommending songs and videos to each other.

-Angel is a Reputation Stan though 

-After one of Lucifer’s many tiffs with Alastor,  Charlie is expressing her frustration asking her dad why can’t they just get along and Lucifer explains that he doesn’t trust Alastor because “I think his ever-present grin is a little troubling” and is a little upset when she doesn’t get it 

-One day, Luci is sitting in the Lobby doing his work while listening to Taylor on shuffle. He’s casually minding his own business jamming out to one of her poppier love songs and Alastor wanders in commenting on the “Obnoxious trite little diddy” Lucifer doesn't even hesitate to take the bait

L: HOW DARE YOU! SHE IS A TALENTED GODDESS!! A DOWNRIGHT MUSICAL CHAMELEON! You are such a snob Alastor! Good music didn't stop getting made after your tiny little lifetime.

A: I never said it did but it's certainly not this frivolous noise!

L: Oh, you uninformed uncultured cur! She is a fucking poet!

He then proceeds to play examples for Alastor of her most creative and heart wrenching lyrics (he absolutely makes Al sit through all 10 minutes and 13 seconds of ATW) 

After all that though Lucifer will never get Alastor to admit that he finds T.S. musically talented (or that Lucifer did in fact catch Al tapping his foot a couple times)

        -Alastor does come to Lucifer, after a bit of research, admitting that though he does not find her music enjoyable, he respects her business cunning. Luci figures that's good enough. For now. 

-because I bet my non-existent Eras tour tickets that Lilith was a hater. I’ll leave it at that.

-OP works at Barnes & Noble and let me tell you there are about 80 different Taylor Swift magazines that even my swiftie ass thinks is excessive but Lucifer has every single one

-including the Taylor Swift paper dolls magazine (yes this is a real thing). He probably gets a few because he convinces Charlie to use them as a team building activity.

-He has at least 3 copies of each of the covers for the 2023 TIME Person of the Year magazine. 

-Also all cardigans. On a casual day he definitely lounges in them and has a set rotation of when to wear each one (and I am totally not gonna draw that nope)

-Well, it seems Lucifer is no longer crying to the depressing break-up songs on repeat but now he seems to be angrily listening to “Gorgeous” on repeat. Charlie asks him about it and he goes full denial mode “No no Charlie I'm not thinking of anyone specific, I've just been really into this song lately.” Everyone else in the hotel, besides Alastor, has already figured out what's going on

Alastor: If I have to hear that obnoxious noise one more time I will reduce that tiny maniac’s room to rubble as well as the abode of whatever sad sack is making him play it.

Angel: *knowing smirk* I'm gonna hold ya to that one, Antlers. 

-Al may very well hear it one more time if Lucifer uses it as his confession song (I don't fully commit to this headcanon, I just think it's funny) 

-Anyway boy’s probably in his Reputation stan Era b/c LWYMMD is like his long overdue big F-YOU to Heaven song 

btw this is NOT gonna end at these headcanons I am running with this idea like scissors.

@nunalastor

@julsiemagne

@nose-nippin-fun (I know you're not a swiftie but we talked about this so idk if you care I can un-tag you if you want)

[asylummint]

The Devil's Unexpected Desire

I Absolutely love lucifer as well and this beauty got spat out while I was at work.

Gn! reader

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In the bustling streets of Hell, where sin and chaos reigned supreme, Lucifer, the semi-proud ruler of the underworld, surveyed his domain with a sense of precision. He did not revel in the torment and despair of his own people, it filled him with a sense of melancholy.

But amidst the fiery pits of Hell, there was one soul that caught Lucifers attention like no other. A sinner whose spirit burned with a fierce determination, a soul whose eyes sparkled with defiance and strength. Their name was (y/n), a moth demon with delicate wings that simmered in the infernal light.

(Y/n) fluttered through the streets of Hell with a sense of purpose, their heart heavy with the weight of their sins, their soul longing for redemption. They met when (y/n) showed up on the hotels doorstep begging to give redemption a try.

Lucifer watched (y/n) from his room as they moved through the streets of Hell, their beauty captivating him like a moth to a flame. There was something about them that intrigued him, something that stirred emotions within him he long thought gone with the loss of Lilith.

Driven by his curiosity (and some encouragement from Charlie), he approached (y/n), his eyes gleaming with fake confidence that sent shivers down (y/n)s spine. "Hello my dear!'

(y/n) turned and faced him, their wings unfolding behind them in a display of absolute beauty, taking Lucifers breath away. "Oh, hi Lucifer!" they said in a sweet tone nearly making the king of hell himself, melt.

Lucifer chuckled nervously, his grin widening a bit, "I just wanted to check up on you and make sure everything was ok and everything" he says nervously. (y/n) smiles, "oh it's been wonderful! your daughter really is a wonder!"

"Ah thank you! Her mother raised her well" he says looking towards where Charlies room is. (y/n) puts a hand on his shoulder and smiles softly. "Don't sell yourself short lucifer, she gets a lot of it from you."

Lucifer looks up at them and smiles softly, suddenly gaining a boost of confidence he blurts out "Please go on a date with me!"

(y/n)'s eyes widen in shock, after a brief pause, they nod slightly chuckling, "I'd love to!" Lucifers eyes widen as his grin grows. a moment of silence is ruined by squealing coming from the direction of Charlies room.

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i hope you enjoyed!!!!! please remember requests are open!

[fandomobbsessedb]

Alastor x F!Overlord!Reader

AN: this is the result of the first poll I posted, Alastor won so here we are!

I’ve kinda broken this into two bits in this one shot, there’s a warning farther down if you want to keep within the ideas of “headcannon” but farther below I have the start of a story, I got a bit carried away and am too far gone to delete it.

⚠️Warnings: mentions of blood, death, weapons, smoking, maybe 1 instance of cannibalism ( but its more in the sense of revenge rather than a canabalistic reader) (idk man it’s hell if your triggered don’t read 😭) this is really long already so I might just break it up or continue it to make a part 2. I have a LOOOOOOT of references in here to so many things, if you guys can pick up on them leave a comment and I’ll tag list you in my next fic if you want! Or don’t I honestly couldn’t care less it’s just for fun :p

Reader is referred to with afab terms.

Pt2-

================================

• In your life you tried to stay on “the right” path. Your parents raised you right, you tried your hardest to be nice, and where always on your best behavior, but after getting the short end of the stick for too long you kinda… loose it.

• You ended up in hell after a night out partying with some of your most valued clients, when you went to drive yourself home the heel of your stiletto got stuck under the gas pedal, as you tried to pull it out you took your eyes off the road and 💥 BAM 💥 you where hit by a large grocer truck.

•Opening your eyes to a red wasteland, the bright flash of lights and the smell of brimstone flood your senses. Looking down to try and gather your bearings you notice your whole body wasn’t (skn/tn) anymore… it was marble grey?

“Where… where am I?” I mumbled under my breath, trying to gather my surroundings, a bright flashing catches my eyes, a gigantic neon sign in the sky gives me my anwser…

“Welcome to Hell!!!”

“Hell…. I’M DEAD?!!!!” I groaned out through barred teeth and stood to my feet, looking around I saw definite signs, this was Hell alright. A blood red sky, fires everywhere, little sinners running around stabbing and shooting one another.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, ALL MY WORK, MY SHOPPING EMPIRE, MY CLOSET, MY AWARDS, MY EVERYTHING, RAAAAAAHHH!!!” In my anger I grabbed the nearest sinner and threw them to the ground, putting my foot between their shoulder blades and grabbing their arms.

“You’re gonna tell me right now, what the hell is going on, WHY AM I DEAD AND HERE-” I shouted in their ear, seeing blood come out… oh shit I probably burst their ear drum… oh well, I’ve done that plenty of times to my assistants.

“D-d-do you mean, like in hell, or or just this area?” They questioned nervously. To be fair they were a scrawny little thing…

“What in the-“ I paused to look around, then referred back to this little shit “actually HELL are you talking about?”

“W-w-well, you must, *gulp* you must be new here, huh?” It asked with a weary smile and a weak little laugh, probably trying to ease the tension. “Well, down… down here, we uh, we have overlords who- who rule certain areas, we’re in Ms.Leefolt’s t-t-t-territory right now, I mean, our king Lucifer, Lucifer and Lilith Morningstar rule all of hell…”

“Well, that certainly is… intresting.” I smirk and stand up, releasing his arms but not letting my foot off his back. “So these, overlords… are they appointed by your king, or born into or something?” I question with a sharp red nail in between my teeth, thinking…

“No, no ma’am just, just anyone who’s ballsy enough to, to, take over enough territory and have enough demons- sell them their souls in exchange for something. Umm- if it’s not too much of a bother, could you let me go… I- I can feel my ribs crushing under me…” it started wheezing out and trying to get a hand under its chest to place a barrier between their chest and the ground.

“Hm, well if that’s all true, I can’t let some little thing like you going around gossiping about me.” I growled looking down at this freak… pressing my heel into his spine harder.

“No! No please, I won’t say a thing I promise!! Just let me go, please… pleas-“

SPLAT-

“Whoops, my bad, I slipped.” I reasoned, pulling my now bloody leg out of his torso.

“Ohh, eeeeeew eweweweweweweeew, I’ve got bits of his, ugh, lung on my heels.” Flicking away the bits of organ from my shoes, I take a breath and another look around but this time in a planning sense. Overlords huh, well, I’ll just have to see how much this ‘miss leefolt’ likes the taste of arsenic, I wonder when the last time she had a homemade pie was….

• So of course to establish some dominance in my new living arrangement, I gutted that bitch from the inside out. I took her territory, her power, her souls, even her manor. When I went to her office to kill her I found the deed to her house and all the contracts of sinners who gave her their souls in a pretty shittily hidden safe.

• I mean, I had to work so hard to build my life up just for a stupid grocer to end it all, so this is fine… right?

• The years go by and the world changes, you became one of the most powerful and influential overlords in hell, re-establishing your power once held on earth to a business in hell. Rosie and Velvet quickly becoming your closest friends, Velvet in a more business sense and Rosie being your go to gossip gal. Both of you having elegant and refined tastes. You and Husk became friends over talking shit in a casino one night, and remained friends after his downfall. He talks to you about this, radio demon, from time to time but you haven’t heard much of him

Little do you know he knows almost everything about you~

• Your walking around Cannibal Town one day waiting for Rosie to finish a meeting, watching children run around and little carts selling all kinds of body related snacks.

I lost a bit of my sense of surrounding and almost tripped on a kid running around with his friend throwing a head back and fourth.

"Jerermy! Stop playing with your lunch and apologize to that nice lady you almost ran into."

"Sorry miss, I didn't mean too." He said looking down at the head ashamedly, then offering me a piece of the cheek. "Would you like some of this face? It's really good." He looked up at me with an excited look. "Oh thank you, but I'm waiting for lunch with my friend, I'll go to the butcher and get some though, it looks really good." I smiled my pointy teeth at him, patted his head and motioned him back to his mother, she waved to me and I nodded my head back, thinking it was time for Rosie to be done by now.

"My my, with your reputation of anger issues I would assume you would tear that poor child into bits upon realization." A staticky voice spoke behind me, tilting my head back but not my body as I don't know who it is. I look him up and down, his outfit and cane/staff thingy give off quite the powerful impression. "My, mhm, reputation?" I pester raising my eyebrow.

"Ah-hahahaha, My name's Alastor, its quite a pleasure to finally meet you in person." He introduced reaching for the back of my hand to place a kiss. Him saying his name reminded me, I too finally recognized the name. "Oh, Rosie has told me much about you." The radio demon, his names been brought up many times around cannibal town since he frequented their shops and small town locals.

"Oh yes, Rosie is one of my dearest friends" He replied linking our elbows and started walking towards the shop. "Mine as well, she is quite the darling, so let me ask you now, where you just standing there when I got to the park, or where you going to follow me in silence since I left the emporium~" He didn't stutter in his step but my revelation made the air feel a bit more, weary on his side. Reaching into my hand purse I grabbed my lipstick and hand mirror and paused my walk to apply a touch more. Looking just past my lips in the reflection I saw his eyes in the back corner snap to my down, then back up to my eyes with a tight smile. "Well, are you coming? I know Rosie hates to be kept waiting." I snapped it shut and outreached my elbow waiting for him to link his so that we could start the traverse back to Rosie's.

• After our little group luncheon with Rosie, Alastor and you didn't verbally indicate that you were closer in any sense. But physically you swayed like two tree's. Brushing branches back and fourth with the breeze, restless and apart yet labeled as "together"

• You started doing weekly business deals, him acquiring land and souls for you, and all he asked in returns is he uses that land and those souls as he pleases. Which honestly isn't a lot. When he pulls people or their shadows to come help at the hotel- their mostly your people but he always sends them back to whence they came.

• He likes to pretend he doesn't necessarily care for being around you, however he's always looking for time you two can be together, or even thinking of each other. On his radio show he'll mention new shopping, eating, entertainment locations on your turf. He knows you listen when your able to. Sometimes he uses his power to let his station be the only one playing where ever you are. In the car, in a shopping store, you could be sitting in the bathroom and it would get to the point where you can hear it from the vents. Making you roll your eyes and finish your business so you could get to your office to listen to the radio.

• Truth be told... you where falling to his whims as well. Alastor didn't necessarily have "territory" but many places in one area he had influence in and quite often frequented. When you had rips or damage to your very expensive very delicacy clothing you would walk with him to the seamstress, and afterwards you would often get tea or lunch together. Maybe he knows a good diner or two and ya’ll will sit there and eat, then get a milkshake (mostly bc you wanted one, he just indulges to make you happy though he doesn’t care for the cold sweet taste) and drink it through two straws, awwwwwwwwwwwwe!!

• When either of you knew of prestigious events happening around you invite the other to be your plus one. You go shop together to find outfits for the occasion. You started attending overlord meetings together, with yourself sat on the opposite side of Rosie, sending each other glances and touches under the table whenever Rosie wasn't looking or walked away for a brief moment. At the events you stay close together and often stand away from the crowd, whispering and gossiping together, allowing yourself a to drink silly, little do you know how well he can hold his liquor and often will be the one making sure YOU get home. Sometimes you wake up still dressed, like the gentleman he is, and sometimes you’ll wake up in some red pajama set…. Like the gentleman he is, he’s not gonna let you sleep in an uncomfortable outfit. But he’s respectful about it.

• He often send subliminal messages through your radio to help you fall asleep, to push you to coming to see him, to maybe just stay in your town if he knew something really bad was going on outside. His favorite to do is when your falling asleep he’ll play the calmest songs from his time to comfort you as you drift off.

• When he officially asked to court you he compared you to the beautiful crimson of the sky, saying your cheeks where more bright and delightful to gaze at then the morning sky, when it was particularly bright. All kinds of poetic gestures, sending crows to your windows, sending your gifts of bodies with knives in them, and the knives had small notes left for you on some quote from a book you like. Now how he knows those are your favorite books are beyond you…. you don’t talk about your books much but, maybe he’s seen you reading it at some random point in time? Who knows, not you.

• He’s all in all not a bad partner, of course when you want to go out he usually goes along with what you want to do but if there’s something he refuses to do, his claws are sinking into your arms to keep you from dragging him to do it.

• His smile is genuine around you and you adore when he lets you pet his ears~ he’s not that intimate early on in the relationship but when your just sitting on a couch or watching the sun set from somewhere and you just reach over and pet his ears, he is putty in your hands, physically he keeps his compose fairly well but inside he’s willing to do anything to keep you touching his ears, telling himself he would sell YOU his soul if it meant you wouldn’t stop, petting his ears and helping him groom his antlers, don’t even get me started on the tail… oh wait he’s already got something going on with that… well darn… hopefully you will keep accepting his caring actions rather than push them away.

——-STOP reading here if you don’t want to get into the more “story line” of this idea, if you want more of a story KEEP READING——-

• One night some sinner had gotten into your liquor stash and drank himself ditzy, you chased him into an ally way, looking to end his fucking life. Most of those where gifts from clients that most likely had aphrodisiacs and at the time where trying to get down your pants, but he drank from one of the few special bottles Alastor had gifted you and you went ballistic. You ended up catching him and killing him, and taking a tip from Rosie and ripped some of his limbs off, letting yourself indulge in the taste of warm, liquor filled blood. When you came too you realized you didn't know where you had chased him. Now covered in blood, liquor, rain, mud and whatever mess you stepped in on your way over. Seeing the iluminating lights of the sign for the Hazbin Hotel, your only thought was to try and get to Alastor.

*knock knock knock*

*creeeeeeeeeeeeeeek*

"Oh! Oh my gosh, hi! Come in Come in. " An ecstatic girl ushered you inside, making a towel appear seemingly out of nowhere and helping you dry off. "I'm Charlie, whats your name?"

"Oh, how rude of me" I respond trying to shake off my chills, my nose starts to get a bit runny. "Uhm I'm Y/N, I don't mean to sound intrusive- uh is Alastor here?" I ask hesitantly, not wanting to just barge in but after the night I've had I wasn't in too much of a mood for pleasantries.

"Oh yes! Here, why don't you sit at the bar, have some tea or water or something and I'll run up to his radio tower." She sat me down at a bar stool and walked away. The bartender was turned around already whipping me up something.

"So he's got you wrapped up here huh?" I inquired with a smirk, resting my hands under my chin and trying to keep a little composure. His wings ruffled a little bit before he reached for my favorite hell made brand of brandy, my cotten candy brandy, I'm not one for sweets but I love the zing it gives you. The kind where you loose your vision for a good 7 seconds.

"You haven't usually been one to be a stranger, what gives?" Husk asked turning around handing me my drink and a bowl of pretzels.

"Well when I saw you weren't at your usual gambling tables I didn't think to question it, thought you where maybe getting more chips... ooooor hooking up in the chip room.... ooooor selling even MORE of your soul, if that's even possible, maybe like your wings or your feathers or, like your body as a human shield in the next extermination, never thought you'd be here slinging drinks." I shrugged swirling my drinks around the glass before taking a sip.

Before he could respond he took a bit of a step back and growled really low and deep in his throat.

"Ah yes well he owed me a favor and since I took an investment in this hotel I needed a little work on it done." Alastor came up behind me with a warm towel wrapping it around my shoulders as the one Charlie gave me was wrapped around my waist keeping my legs warm... unfortunatly the sinner got caught at a bad time, I was in the middle of 'me time' before bed and was in my good silk nighty. Glad I walked to my office with my fuzzy robe and ballet slippers. I feel really warm and fuzzy, my heads all….. comfy now… is that static coming from Alast-

"Oh deerest your all wet, would you like to come up and I can help you clean up." He asked you shaking the towel on your shoulders helping you sit up. "Oh yes please" you responded looking at him with sad tired eyes.

-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-

I took a sip of the warm tea Alastor had made me and laid back in the bath, taking it all in. I WAS just planning a quiet evening in at home, maybe snack on some treats I got in the Gluttony ring, watch some hells soap operas. Now I’m here, in my beau’s bathroom, relaxing… maybe I can convince him to let me up to his radio tower to listen to his late night show live, oh that would be fun. I wonder what it looks like up there? I’ve only ever seen his actual town house… a little ways away from town-

*CRASH *

“What the fuck?!” I sat up so fast I almost slipped, sitting on my butt… in the tub…. Shit did he spike my tea?

“Alastor? Is everything okay?” I asked loudly. Standing up carefully keeping three points of contact with the tub and the floor. I reached for a different robe he had given me, a soft red fluffy one, with (what I hope is faux ) fur along the collar and wrists.

Walking towards the bathroom door very carefully I cautiously reached for the shiny silver handle. Telling myself it’s okay but feeling a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach, and the handle was the top of the pit…

“Alastor?” I called out again, once more not getting an answer, bringing my hands to my mouth when I heard a large thump out there, trying to keeping my composure… oh what the hell they know I’m here already. I went to turn the handle what the door got pushed in, had I been able to see what happened I would’ve seen Alastor in his demonic form and it probably would’ve scared the actual shit outta me… but NOPE

I went to open the door when it got pushed open and a bright blue flash covered all of my vision and made me feel… kinda tried… but I’m awake, almost like I’m not in my body… it’s… really hard……. To keep my….. keep my eyes …………………………….………open…….

• You collapsed to the floor slowly breathing, in a trance, feeling some sharper claws pick you up bridal style, if you weren’t so dazed out you would see Alastor frozen in time… like a paused TV… unable to get to you, or subdue your captor. You still had enough conscience to hear a muffled voice talking to a phone~

“Yeah we got her… foil chains worke—“

“Get her ba-“

“…. Longer you take the quicker……….. flasher wears-“

• Last thing you could remember hearing before completing falling out was a radio scramble in your brain, the sound going from a hollow scraggly to a tight scraggle- like turning the tv in between stations………

:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:

AN: WELLLLL WHAT DID YA THINK???? Did you skip to down here or did you read the WHOLE thing. I really hope ya’ll like this, I’m so excited to make part 2, and maybe 3 or 4 depending on how far this goes.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and interacts in any way shape or form!!! Even if it’s just reading :) HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY AND REMEMBER

REALITY IS AN ILLUSION, THE UNIVERSE IS A HOLOGRAM BUY GOLD BYYYYYYEEEEEE

[cakerybakery]

Now that I’m home.

Bunny sinner Adam being taken by a rabbit sinner that traffics other male rabbit sinners since they’re basically walking incubators for hell-born.

For this one I have to use some head canons mixed with canon. Your form is based on how you lived your life/how you died, which is part of the show. But that sinners, like Lilith, are cursed on top of that. Someone whose sin was connected to wrath has a curse attached to that. Something the sinner usually wouldn’t notice, but if they take steps to right their particular sin then they could be redeemed. For example Sir Pentious under this system might have been willing to send men to their deaths but a coward himself. And his curse was the eggboys. He would have been fine coordinating from the sidelines during the battle but to save everyone he knew he had to put himself at risk. And that’s how he made it to heaven.

Male rabbit sinners would be folks that took be fruitful and multiply to a sinful amount and were deadbeat dads that don’t give a crap if they knock some chick up/ those that insist they need to pump out kid after kid for their religion or for an heir, so part of their curse is while they can get pregnant, their DNA isn’t in the kid. So noble hell-born use them like incubators to produce their own heirs. They’re rare, as few people sin enough these days to become a rabbit sinner, and fetch a high price.

Female rabbit sinners are less valuable as any kid they produce does have their DNA. They’re down there for the same sins though so I think a good curse for them would be the desire to breed but it being almost impossible for them to have kids. So they’re also very irritable and difficult to handle when they’re not banging and hoping to have a baby.

But Adam’s a rare type. Since he actually loves his kids and loved Eve, even though the over a hundred kids they had influenced his form as a sinner he was given another curse. So he’d be intersexed.

Of course a sinner could have a bunny form because they had enough kids to qualify and also not have those curses because they’re in hell for other reasons just like Adam, and also be intersexed. But like Adam they would be super rare, like there have been a handful since the creation of hell.

The trafficker tortures/tricks people into given them their souls and turns around and sells them, it’s a weak contract though since the person signed under false pretences and duress. The bound sinner doesn’t realize because they don’t know it’s weak. It only has to last until he sells them anyways.

He decides to keep Adam as he just found himself a golden goose. Any kid’s they produce would be 100% pure rabbit sinner. The girls would be pretty useless but they’re in demand in the porn industry for their high sex drive and looks, despite their temperament. The boys he could easily sell for a high price to the nobles.

So I think he’d go about trying to get a stronger contract with Adam by gaining his trust, even love.

Like Adam is captured by some goons that work for, I’m going to call him Steve cause this corner of Adamsapple has conditioned me to think of Steve as a bad guy, and they figure out that he’s intersexed which is Steve’s dream. So Steve does this elaborate fake rescue to become Adam’s hero, then friend, then lover. All to get a carefully worded contract out of Adam that binds Adam to him so he can use Adam to pump out kids (Steve absolutely doesn’t give a fuck about those kids anymore than he did about the ones he had while alive) and Adam would be unable to stop him or run away.

Adam isn’t particularly interested in being friends and certainly doesn’t think of Steve as a hero. He’s the first fucking man, Steve should be saving him because Adam is worth worshipping. So Steve changes gears and strokes Adam’s ego. Eventually convincing Adam that he should stay inside where no one can try to kill him because he’s so perfect and they’re jealous, or try to take him again. This works because even with Adam’s ego he’s been captured before and part of him is afraid, so his ego covers that by agreeing with the ego stroking. Anytime Adam gets a little cocky Steve rattles the cage with staged attacks and reinforces the idea that Adam needs Steve.

Course Steve and his goons have big mouths though. And while Steve is the only game in hell for trafficked male rabbit sinners, which is why he’s so safe as he has all the contacts not his goons, he’s well known among the female rabbit sinners.

They don’t really care about the trafficking since they’re not the targets so it’s just an open secret with them that males can get pregnant and are trafficked. Most of them even think the males deserve.

Remember how they’re in demand in the porn industry? Adam's quite the talk among the females. Mainly out of jealous that he can have babies of his own easily. Well, Angel finds out about Steve and what he's doing and planning. He thinks it’s wrong and tells Charlie and Lucifer. Both of whom are appalled by the practice of the nobles and by Steve.

Steve has been working on Adam for months now. So Adam hasn’t fucked in months. He’s the first man and has a naturally high sex drive. He’s going stir crazy and even though Steve is a man and own of his descendants, that offer for a handjob is sounding real good.

While Lucifer is working on finding Steve before he can get a contract with some sinner named Adam, Adam is breaking. Steve has been purposely trying to get Adam horny enough to agree to something. The only thing in the house to watch is safe (hellborn) porn. He’s been buying aphrodisiac candles. Sprinkling Adam’s foods with drugs.

He’s also been working on making Adam feel like he owes Steve. Coming home with bruises (real but done purposely) and claiming it’s because he fought off a trafficker and then giving Adam something he’s been wanting like foods (drugged) or a magazine. Little things so that Adam feels like Steve put himself at great risk just for some little item so that Adam would be happy.

Until one day Adam is so fucking horny he finally agrees to a handjob, that swiftly turns into a blowjob. And there’s Steve all horny, surely Adam can reciprocate.

They’ve already helped each other out once. It’s okay to do it again, come on Adam, just one more time, right.

Steve wants to go further but Adam is hesitant. Come on Adam, after all I do for you? You want it too. See how horny you are. Bet you’re all wet. Just once.

We’ve already done it once. Where’s the harm?

Hey sweetie. I found out that the trafficker tricks people into selling their souls. Why don’t we sell each other our souls? Then we’ll be safe. You sign first.

Sorry, sweetie. You should have read that contract better. Don’t worry. I’ll take good care of you, my little golden goose, don’t want to hurt this part of you after all. I need it to get rich. I’ll make sure you always have a good time. You’ll even get to keep the kids for a while. Although if you keep fight me, I’ll fucking sell them to the cannibals instead. I hear baby meat is tender.

This would be where Lucifer finally finds Adam.

But it’s too late. That contract is signed. Adam is all- wow that knife goes in just like butter doesn’t it?

Angelic steel is so finely crafted.

That’s about as far as I got over the last three hours of the trip. It would of course be Adamsapple and the rest would probably be Adam healing from being manipulated

[hetrosjistin]

All of you talking about how Alastor is bound to Lilith are sleeping on Zestial.

Seriously, all of you are ignoring ALL the signs. Been talking this over with a friend several nights in a row, and it's such a better theory than assuming that Lilith owns him (that's not to say that Alastor and Lilith aren't in cahoots SOMEHOW, but that's something for another post)

Now there's not a large sample size, but let's start with this one. Alastor's contract chains do not match his emissive colors at all, nor the colors of his magic. He has red and black as his demonic magic motif. Why does this matter? Well the only other sample we have for contract magic is Valentino with his smoke chains on Angeldust, which is identical to his magic.

Above you can see Valentino's emissive color, the color of his magic in full force, and the color of his contract magic. Now let's do this with Alastor

Emissive colors, magic colors when he's personally about to fuck someone up without calling on his shadow minions... and... his contract magic... huh...

Extra ones of him doing deals with charlie as a bonus:

So a bit of wild theory crafting now.

What happens if you are bound to someone else and you go around and get someone to sell their soul to you? What if your soul contracts roll up to the guy who owns your soul? So your contract magic uses THEIR colors?

Okay, then who DOES have the same emissive colors (those used for magic in almost every case).

Zestial is the only one who comes close, even if he's more yellowy, I blame that on the overall lighting of the scene.

Further evidence?

The ONLY time Alastor looks even REMOTELY frightened is when he's speaking with Zestial. Even when he's with other overlords he's irreverant and playful, NOT with Zestial, he's cagey, he's polite, he's watching what he says.

Further, during this conversation the subtext is CONSTANTLY on a back and forth of 'oh I know where you've been, and YOU know where you've been, but we're in public so we have to speak in code' plus the scene CONSTANTLY focuses on the fact of how they are under observation either by direct persons or through electronic means (but stealthily elides this by implying it's just the impact 2 overlords walking around in public would have on society)

Oh, and did you notice? The demonic stitching that appears on Alastor's body? Same style as the stitching we see Zestial's hat and other bits of clothing.

Then there's the fact that he's one of the only characters with consistent COLOR THEMING to his songs, whenever he does songs, (ESPECIALLY those having to do with deals or trying to maintain his deals), he's got green and... purple?

Why the fuck purple? Purple doesn't turn up anywhere. This is where the theory falls apart a little, but if I had to guess? It's an allusion to something. What could it be?

But why then is his contract magic showing in these songs? Does Zestial have some deep interest in the hotel?

I think not, but Alastor has very DEEP contract related reasons for his interest.

Let's take a quick aside to another of Alastor's song pieces. Let's consider the pit as Alastor prepares to leave his tower during his breakdown song in the season finale. The center of Alastor's power is his broadcast tower, it's painted everywhere in his colors, from top to bottom. The last time he sang in here, all of his emissive colors were black and red... hell, even when he ENTERED it, it was HIS colors.

but now with him beaten, broken, and focused on the deal he so desperately wants to escape...

Oh look, Zestial's colors again.

Alastor's power is a shadow cast by Zestial's light. He is chained to it, it's what keeps him alive and gives him his power... but all the same, he wants out.

He's looking for a loophole. A way out of the deal.

If you get to heaven, can a Overlord still own you soul?

This helps explain why Alastor was willing to come out of hiding fo the hotel, why he's so nervous around Zestial, why Zestial is poking for reasons, subtly, about what the fuck Alastor is doing in their conversation with one another going to the overlord's meeting.

So smart money says that Alastor made a deal with Zestial before he died, and became Zestial's catspaw. How was he able to fuck up everything and everyone he came across the moment he turned up? Because he had a tutor and a big old battery backstopping him. Zestial is the most subtle of the overlords, he wants to remain in the background, he wants to play things safe and is always happy to be underestimated and underrated... so he comes along and takes the hammiest, loudest, most attention grabbing soul he has in his portfolio the moment they get down to Hell, and puts him to work CLEANING HOUSE.

[things-arent-what-they-seem66]

I feel like the fandom is overlooking Adam.

I mean his power, personality and role is heavily mistaken by most of the fandom.

Power: Alastor is not stronger than Adam, yet people still try to find excuses about this.

“Alastor has a deal with Lilith that limits his powers for the angels!“ (As if they have the script of season 2 or something)

“Alastor mocked/mistook Adam that’s why he lost!” (Mmhm as if Adam didn’t send him to direct death by one shot)

“Nifty took care of him!” (Really?)

These annoy me so much. For people to think that someone who destroyed the whole Hotel with a single shot, is less powerful than Alastor.

Most are Alastor glazers anyway.

Personality/The trauma he went through: Even though maybe the show is going to take a different turn, Vivzie can’t deny this plot anymore. Lucifer ruined Adam’s life. Lucifer is not a saint. Yet, the fandom views Adam as if he is just evil for evil’s sake.

And I’m just stating the things we saw in the actual show, I’m not even talking about the trauma Lilith, and Abel and Cain situation gave him.

Role: Adam has… Too much potential to only be left as a “Jackass season 1 antagonist” Yet most of the fandom wants to see him like this.

His redemption arc would be nice to see, since we know Vivzie is planning to have 5-6 seasons this could be a good plotline.

Sorry for the little rant.

I agree. Because he's the bad guy people dismiss his.

He almost KILLED Alastor in a fight that didn't last very long. And yeah Alastor selling his soul to Lilith for power is a good theory but until the second season comes out it's just that a theory.

Adam was the first human soul into heaven so he would be the strongest one they got. Ten thousand years is a long time to get good at using your powers. And yeah he cut the hotel in half like it was a slice of cake.

Nifty took care of him....... Bitch snuck up behind him and got lucky. I guarantee that if Adam knew she was there, she'd be the one to have died.

Yeah Lucifer did ruin Adam's life and doomed humanity in one fell swoop. You can't deny that. Adam in Eden was made with Innocence and purity, I doubt very much he was an asshole back then but the book of Hell is made to make it look that way.

The trauma from everything that came after the betrayal and the apple, yeah you'd probably become a bitter person too.

There is SO much potential for Adam to come back on later seasons to get redeemed and have an actual character arc but I think it's like I've said before he was a one and done villain his purpose is done, so long see you never.

It's a waste if they don't bring him back but they likely won't.

It would make a great plot line especially if he came to care for the people at the hotel like family and saw the error in his ways.

It's okay! I had a rant of my own lol

[passionateseadruid]

Snake King’s Bride 2

The Meeting

Say hello to my intersex Imp Styx. As I'm sure many of you know the evenly stripe horns are indicative of male Imps and the thin strips white are Female. And also my hellhound Pluto. Also Vagqie is 5'4 and when lucifer met her they were about the same height; but also keep in mind that he was wearing heals (that's canon, like it's in the episode). Finally, I can't believe that he has a nose

When you woke up you were still in the old wedding dress and heals. The veil had fallen from your head, you had slid it back on and flipped the veil back over your face. Whatever brought you here isn't going to get to have you so easily.

You wandered around to the halls of the place you fell into. They were red with gold columns lining every few feet. The walls were lined with apples and the columns were accentuated with what appeared to be snakes coiling around them. "Whoever designed this place needs to be fired."

On the other side of the palace, in the thrown room, Lucifer was panicking. 

"Okay! Everything's going to be fine!"

A little Imp wants in. They were taller than most Imps and had big horns that curled inward towards each other like a heart. Their hair was slip down the middle. White on the left to match the male Imp horn that was slightly bigger than the one on the right; which was female in origin with black hair that was almost tinted dark blue from some angles.

"Styx! Did you get everything set up?" Lucifer asked panic evident on his face.

"Yes sire!" They saluted him. They stood at about 4'11 and wore black leather pants, a short burgundy corset, and a white shirt with long sleeve frilly.

"Good! good."

"Sire. It might be a good idea to take off your ring as to not scare or confuse the young miss."

"Oh! Yeah, I guess." He slid off the ring that had matched Lilith's. The first time he'd taken it off in seven years. "Can I really do this Styx?" 

"Well it is up to you, but if you want you could let her go."

"But then I'd be alone again."

"I suppose so Sire."

Lucifer looked down at his ring again and materialized a black box to slip the circlet if gold into. "I can do this, somehow I know it."

You hadn't gotten very far in your expedition of the strange new place you'd found yourself in. You found a library though which was good. Always good to have a place to hide. Eventually a small fluffy creature resembling a bull dog. She had grey fur and wore a loose black dress that went down to her knees, with a red wine colored bodice. She was only 4 and a half feet tall.

"Good evening my lady." She curtsies and you awkwardly due the same. "Please my lady. Don't feel the need to bow at me. Please follow me to the thrown room."

"Thrown room?"

She sighed. "Yes. Where the king is." She looked back at you and saw you planted firmly in place. "Come on!" she motions for you to follow.

"What's going on? Where am I? Who are you? What was with the spooky fiery rift in space back in the store?"

"Are you serious right now? You sold yourself to the king of hell. Don't play dumb and pretend like you have no idea what's going on. And what's with the wedding dress? Do you actually think the king would choose some lowly human like you?"

"I'm sorry I seem to have misheard you. I thought you said the king of hell."

"I did."

"...hell? ...as in-"

"Lucifer yes." She cut you off.

"There has to be a mistake! I didn't sell my soul to him! I shouldn't be here!"

"You wouldn't be here if you didn't."

'Maybe I can convince him to let me go. He can take Regan or Kaitlyn, I don't care!'

"Head inside." The bulldog ordered.

"May I please have your name."

"Pluto."

"I hope you have a good day Pluto." 

You walked into the room. 

"Darling!" A short man ran up to you and pulled you into his embrace. You struggled as best you could but his grip was firm and unrelenting. "Sorry, to tight?" He lessens his grip and you shirk away.

"Please don't touch me. We don't know each other."

"Oh of course! My apologies. Lucifer Morningstar, your new husband~" 

"What? No... um I think there's been some mistake. I don't belong here."

"Of course you do! You're going to be my bride! That little bug wouldn't have dressed you up like this if you weren't the one intended to be my new wife!"

"But I didn't exactly want that to happen."

"Well you're here now so you might as well make the most of it!" He cheered coming closer to you.

"Wouldn't you rather have someone who wants to be with you? I'm sure there's plenty of goth girls or satanists who would kill to get this opportunity."

"Ugh. You know you humans are really ignorant. Him and I aren't the same. Neither are I and Beelzebub."

"Okay...?"

"That's not important right now." He came even closer and you back into the door. He grabbed the bottom of your veil and you snatched his wrist.

"Doll..." He sounded serious. "Show me your face."

"No thank you."

"Sorry Doll but that wasn't a request." He yanked out of your grip and took your veil off with him. "There! That wasn't so hard, was it?"

You backed up as close to the wall as you could and actually got a look at him. He was about 5'4 and had platinum blond hair. His eyes seemed to glow piss yellow while his pupils were blood red. He wore a white suit with a pink and white stripped vest underneath. His books were black as were his hands though you weren't sure if those were gloves or his actual hand color. 'but he's so pale.'

"Hm? Take a picture it'll last longer~" You rolled your eyes. "You know darling if you're so interested in my hands I can give you a demonstration of what they can do~" Your face heated at his words, and the face that he brought one of his hand up to his mouth in a V shape and licked his lips.

"Why me?"

"Because you put on my ring!"

"But I didn't know what I was doing! Why not choose someone who knows what they're agreeing to?"

"I want you Doll. You're beautiful and my heart is calling out to you. The moment I saw you for the first time in that store i knew I needed you. Come on! We have a Wedding to plan! I'm thinking next month."

"Next Month?!"

"I know it's far off but We'll need to give our guests time to prepare gifts and of course we'll need time to send out the invitations."

"Well I was thinking of more of an August wedding. But eleven months is basically a year and I'm sure it'll still be warm in hell in September so... maybe we should make it a year from now?" Your voice grew meeker as you spoke. "It would also give us a year to get to know each other."

"If I make it a year from now will you be willing to marry me?" He asked excitedly.

"Um maybe?"

"Good enough for me! Come on then! you're probably tired and you'll want to get out of this old thing."

He takes your hand and leads you through the palace.

"Mr. Morningstar?"

"Call me Lucifer! You'll be a Morningstar soon! I suppose I'll have to talk to heaven about turning you immortal. Charlie had begged me for siblings when she was younger, so I'm glad to finally be able to fulfil that."

"Lucifer, I think that we should stay in separate rooms."

"What? But why?" He whined.

"We just met." 'and your the devil.' "And I'm rather traditional." 'No I'm not but you don't need to know that.'

"Alright if that's what you wish Darling."

"And one more thing. Wouldn't it be so romantic if our first kiss was the one we shared on our wedding day?"

"Ooooohh! Like the ones in those romance novels that are so popular on earth!" She squeaked. 

"Yeah... like those."

"Well here we are! It's the best guest room in the place! I'll have Styx put on some new warm sheets on the bed and I'll get you some clothes. You probably want to go take a bath."

"Um I'm good I'll shower in the morning."

"Nonsense Doll. Unless this is a backhanded way to invite me to join you~"

"I'll go take a shower ON MY OWN!" You said running out of the bedroom.

"What am I going to do?

After your shower you cracked the door and looked down to find a pile of clothes and no Lucifer in sight. You changed into them and found the shirt tight on you and the thong given to you a bit too revealing for your taste. "What am I going to do? I can't walk out there and show everyone everything."

"Yeah, I'd prefer this all saved for my eyes only." Lucifer's voice called from behind you.

"Ah! What are you doing in here?"

"Just admiring the view." he slowly gazed up and down at you tracing the curves of your body.

"May I please have something that actually fits me?" You rolled your eyes and your arms came up to cover your chest.

"Fine..." He huffed annoyed. "But I think the size of my old shirt looks cute on you." He snapped his fingers and the shirt grew so long it basically became a night gown. 

"Is this really okay to do to your clothes?"

"It's an old shirt I don't wear anymore."

"This thong better not have belonged to your kid."

"No! no. nonononono! It was uh, my ex-wife's."

"Oh. That's a bit weird isn't it?"

"I'll take you out shopping for clothes tomorrow, but for tonight you can either use those or go commando. I know which option I'd rather see~"

"Goodnight Lucifer!" You pushed him out of the room.

"Goodnight Darling!"

'What am I going to do?' You thought.

[justalittlerandomartist]

Ask: this is a request you don't have to do if you don't want to, but teen! reader that wants to strike a deal with Lucifer, but with all the work he has, he asks Charlie to go instead. but when she goes there, she realizes that it's just a kid that wants to get away from her awful family. So Charlie helps her and then they get closer like siblings and then when she dies (either due to an accident or by doing it herself) they go to the hotel and there she meets everyone and bc Charlie helped her, she stays and helps out with the hotel by doing things like cooking, cleaning etc. I'm kinda rambling but I hope you get the gist.

-Anon

•Charlie Morningstar x teen! reader

•platonic, no horny

•what if…there was a kid who worked as a butler at the hotel

_______________________________________

You ran. As fast as you could. Your mom was going to send you away. Somewhere far, far away. You couldn’t take it anymore.

You were going to make a deal with Lucifer in order to have a safe space. It was the only way. You couldn’t survive in that house. You had to summon him. The only problem is that when you did summon him….

she showed up.

Charlotte Morningstar, daughter of Lucifer and Lilith. She helped you. She gave you a safe space, a little hole in space time that she could visit you in, and you could access without her. If only you didn’t have to go back to that dreadful home at the end of the day.

Over time, Charlie became like a sister to you. You would celebrate birthdays together, watch movies, laugh, and just be…happy. You cared about Charlie, and she cared about you. She didn’t understand why you would sell your soul, but accepted it nonetheless. But atleast if you didn’t, she wouldn’t have had a cool new younger sister.

but….on your thirteenth birthday, when she showed up with a cake….

“Y/n? Are you there? I brought you a birthday cake.”

Poor sweetheart found your suicide note on the table. She was heartbroken, but knew you would be in heaven. Oh boy, was she wrong.

When you woke up, you were in this really bright place. It was on fire, and it smelled like a bar and dried corpses. But worst of all was the way you looked. You were fluffy, with a bright pink maids dress, white fur, pink hair, a little cotton tail, and…bunny ears. YOU WERE A FREAKING BUNNY KID! That’s worse than being a spider(angel dust slander).

You tried to look at some tv’s, hoping to find a news broadcast that could tell you about this weird afterlife. Instead you saw an ad for a dumb hotel-wait. Is that Charlie? HOLY SHIT, ITS CHARLIE!

You rushed to the Hazbin Hotel as fast as you could, and you were greeted at the door by none other than Charlie herself. She scooped you into a bear hug and showed you to everyone in the hotel.

Once Charlie told you about her mission, you were eager to help. You were too young to do much though, you simply helped clean and cook. You always smiled through the work, just like your mom taught you. A smile was safe. When you smiled, you didn’t get hit.

The hotel is better with you in, you always bring in a bright atmosphere, and you cook the best meals though. Sometimes you miss your friends in the living world, but you wouldn’t want to get your new friends sad, so you kept smiled. Although, someone might see through it.

___________________ Lmao this was so rushed.

I have this and a few other fanfics saved in my drafts on my main blog so they’ll get posted there then reblogged on @thathastagbiotch bc that’s my fanfiction blog so follow that account not this one

I’m so sorry this is so late

[anthurak]

So here’s an interesting continuation of the theory that Alastor’s freakish, otherworldly powers actually came from a deal he struck with Lilith, who is now ‘holding his leash’:

It’s not just the power Alastor had when he seemingly first appeared in Hell, but ALL of the power he now wields is bound to his contract with Lilith.

I imagine that Alastor was entirely powerless, a complete nobody when he first arrived in Hell before he made a deal with Lilith. Or alternatively, perhaps Alastor made the deal before he died, in a classic ‘selling your soul’ situation. Because of that, when he did die, Alastor appeared in Hell already as powerful as many Overlords. But of course, that power came at a price. Namely, being bound to Lilith’s service.

This is where I think Alastor’s initial murder-spree of other Overlords came into play; it was an attempt weasel out of his deal with Lilith. By killing a bunch of other Overlords and taking their power, Alastor hoped to build his own powerbase independent of what he’d gotten from Lilith. So that when he welched on their deal and Lilith took that power back, he would still have a great deal of power of his own.

But that’s not what happened.

Only after his rampage and acquiring a great deal of power from the Overlords he murdered did Alastor discover that he couldn’t weasel out of his work for Lilith so easily. That because he gained this power using the power he received from Lilith, that mean this power too belonged to Lilith as well, not him.

Simply put, ALL of Alastor’s power actually belongs to Lilith. Power that she can take back ANY time she wants.

THIS is the true source (or at least one of the major ones) of the massive insecurity that Alastor tries so hard to hide: That all of his power comes at the behest of someone else. All the other Overlords gained their power for themselves, their power is truly theirs.

But not Alastor. In truth, he has NO power that is truly his own. Which is something he is far too proud, and by extension far too terrified to EVER let anyone else know.

And this is where I’d like to introduce a final wrinkle. A part of this theory that I have no basis for, but that I think would make Alastor all the more interesting:

Alastor isn’t truly bound to Lilith’s service. She may hold his soul, but the terms of their contract state that he can actually leave her employ any time he wishes.

But if he does, Lilith will take back EVERYTHING Alastor got from her. Which in turn means EVERYTHING Alastor actually has in Hell. He would be left with nothing, a powerless nobody.

And Alastor would rather endure an eternity of servitude to the Queen of Hell than ever be a powerless nobody.

[pinkydevil16]

Dark! Xavier Thorpe x reader: part 12

18+ smut 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11

Xavier and Y/n stood on the balcony his head on her shoulder as they watched everyone's parents hug their kids as Y/n pulled a face, Xavier pulling her into his chest as he kissed her neck comforting her.

"Is your mum not coming?" He whispered Y/n shaking her head before looking over her shoulder at him.

"What about your dad?" Xavier let out a sad laugh shaking his head and kissing Y/n quickly.

"He's too busy being famous to care about his son." Y/n smiled sadly at him nodding as she turned back towards the quad seeing Wednesday and her parents talking awkwardly before freezing in his arms as her mum walked through the doors instantly staring up at Y/n as Xavier said her name Y/n too freaked out to hear him as her mum began walking up the steps.

"Fuck." Y/n said pulling out of Xavier's arms making sure he was shielded behind her as her mum stepped out the stairwell, Xavier holding her hand as Y/n glared at her mum.

"Ahh hello darling, did you miss me?" Y/n didn't move as her mum stepped forward her eyes casting over Xavier with a smile as she looked him up and down. 

"Mhm whose this tall glass of water?" Xavier's eyes widened as Y/n's mum moved closer going to rub her nails along his arm as Y/n smacked her hand scowling at her.

"He's too young for you." Y/n snapped back her mum pouting at her as she looked at her nails then smiled at her daughter.

"Aren't you going to give mummy a hug?" Y/n's face changed to one of disgust as she looked her mum up and down.

"Don't call yourself that, you're basically just an incubator, mum implies you raised me." Y/n's mum scowled pointing her finger at Y/n as her eyes flashed purple placing one hand on her hip.

"I am a great mother." Y/n deadpanned as she stared at her mum Xavier keeping his eyes down as he tried not to say anything but he didn't like how Y/n's mum looked at her.

"You threatened to sell my soul to the devil when i didn't do homework." Y/n responded her mum sighing and flitting her hand as she rolled her eyes.

"It was a joke." Y/n's mouth fell open as she glared at her mum tilting her head.

"You tied me to a tree and started chanting." Y/n's mum kept playing it off as she checked her nails.

"You really need to get over that." Her mum smiling at her as Y/n simmered in her anger before responding.

"I was 7." Y/n gritted out her hands in fists beside her as her mum came over pulling her out of Xavier's hold Y/n dragging her feet as her mum stood in front of her fussing over her hair and clothes whilst Y/n's eyes flashed purple Xavier scowling at Y/n's mum before she turned to him putting her hand towards him. 

"I'm Lilith L/N, and you are Xavier Thorpe i believe. I have heard so much about you from Principle Weems. You chose the rich one atleast." Lilith turned back to Y/n as she spoke Y/n's jaw clenching as she looked towards Xavier begging him to walk away as she saw the look in his eyes. 

"Nice to meet you, i'll catch you later Y/n." Y/n waved at him as her mum started pulling her away talking all about what she'd been upto whilst Y/n ignored her mum rolling her eyes as she passed other students. Her mum suddenly stopping and facing her whilst Y/n glared up at her.

"What are you doing here? We both know you don't care about parents weekend so hurry up and spit it out." Lilith dropped her smile as she stared at her daughter before her eyes flashed purple and Y/n stood up straight and looked at her properly feeling a hit on her head harshly from her mum's power.

"Listen you little shit, you can pretend to be tough or whatever this act is, i let you disrespect me earlier but you watch your tone or i'll haul your sad little ass out of here and throw you back into public school away from your boyfriend." Y/n glared at her mum her hands turning dark purple as her power radiated around her anger coursing through her veins.

"What do you want?" Y/n gritted out her eyes now vivid purple as her mum started smiling happily at her smoothing down Y/n's hair with her magic to make her look more presentable. 

"I wanted to see my daughter is that a crime?" Y/n held her tongue as she went to snap at her mum as she scrutinised her appearance before waving her hand and altering Y/n's uniform, her skirt now above her knees and tights no longer ripped with mary janes instead of trainers. Y/n looking down as her mum thought for a moment waving her hand against as Y/n's shirt fitted to her properly due to it being Xavier's Y/n glaring at her mum as she dragged out the silver X around her neck looping her nail in it.

"Hmm, better but this necklace...Xavier is a possessive one huh? I'm surprised you haven't chewed him up and spat him out like i would but you always were soft to affection." Y/n pulled the necklace out her mum's hold tucking it into her shirt glaring at her mum as she smirked down at her.

"They say what you want in a relationship is what you lacked in childhood." Lilith glared at her daughter again as she looked down at her before clicking her tongue.

"I'm trying, can you atleast be thankful i'm trying for once." Y/n raised her eyebrow crossing her arms at her mum's expression.

"Why?" Y/n waited as she watched her mum try to come up with a reason other than the undoubtably selfish reason she truly had come to the school for, Lilith sighing loudly before looking at Y/n again.

"Fine, the coven demanded i come and check on you because of your power, since you've come here it's been going haywire and i think we both know it's because of that boy." Y/n rolled her eyes chuckling as she looked down shaking her head before looking at her mum.

"I knew you'd never actually care, my powers are fine. I'm in control." Y/n calmed her powers not wanting to show her mum that the coven was right, she knew since she'd met Xavier they'd been going a little haywire especially during sex but she couldn't help it. Y/n quickly turned her mum and began pushing her towards the exit of the school.

"Well great chat, sorry you can't stay longer, see you at the next séance or your funeral i guess, don't text me i'll text you. Bub-bye, adios, see ya." Lilith glared at Y/n over her shoulder as she stood just over the threshold Y/n sarcastically waving. 

"I'm being serious Y/n they don't want another out of control witch." Y/n rolled her eyes smiling at her mum before spinning on her heels waving her hand as the doors closed behind her letting out a happy sigh as she walked through the Quad Wednesday staring at her as she passed. Xavier came out the shadows walking in time with Y/n as he threw his arm over her shoulder the two finding their way back to the balcony to look down at everyone.

"What did she want?" Xavier asked as though he hadn't been hiding round the corner snooping to make sure Y/n was okay, Y/n rolled her eyes smirking at him as she turned leaning against the balcony as Xavier caged her against the stone wall.

"Apparently the elders of the coven are worried i'm going to get out of control or some other bullshit so sent her to check up on me. But she's gone now and i know just how we should spend our free weekend." Y/n ran her hand along his arm as she pressed against him Xavier smirking at her as he held her waist leaning down to kiss her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Xavier pulling her into him as he grinned into the kiss, chastely kissing her again before pulling back to kiss her forehead. 

"I have to admit watching you slam that door and walk away was really hot." Xavier laughed as he spoke Y/n rolling her eyes playfully pushing him away.

"Lets get out of here, your shed is looking really comfy away from all these parents." Y/n grinned Xavier laughing and taking her hand as he pulled her along wrapping his arm around her shoulder as they bumped into each other playfully as they passed all their friends parents, Enid smiling at them as she listened to her mum continually rant on and on about her wolfing out.

Xavier pushed open the door Y/n using her powers to close it behind her as she grinned up at Xavier pulling him into a kiss as he grabbed at her body pulling her against him as he groaned into the kiss, Y/n grinning into the kiss as she felt his hand pull at her shirt before looking down at it oddly.

"She's picky." Y/n rolled her eyes Xavier huffing with a small pout as he ran his hands along it, before ripping the buttons off making Y/n giggle as the buttons flew around the room exposing her bra as Xavier smirked.

"Much better." He whispered leaning down to kiss along her neck as he palmed her breasts and sucking a dark mark on her collarbone enjoying how she raked her hands through his hair pressing her breasts into him one his hands moving to grasp her necklace as he looked at her.

"Think i need to get you some more jewellery for her to disapprove of." Y/n grinned pulling his hair as he groaned kissing him deeply walking him backwards until his back met the table, her hands rushing to undo his belt pushing her hand inside as he gasped into the kiss as her hand began stroking him her other hand on his cheek.

"I think i need to get you something to mark my property first." Y/n said with a grin as Xavier turned into putty in her hands, breathing harshly as Y/n sucked a mark onto his collarbone using her powers to undo his shirt and kiss her way down pulling his trousers with her as she looked up at him with wide innocent eyes, her hand still moving as she stared at him licking a stripe along his cock as he let out a shakey breath. His hands finding her hair as he pulled it into a ponytail as she sloppily licked the tip, purposefully making obscene noises as she smiled up at him watching his eyes on her as she opened her mouth and began bobbing on his cock his mouth flying open as he held her head bobbing her gently against him as she moaned the vibration making him choke on his spit as his eyes closed.

"Holy fuck Y/n." He whimpered out his eyes rolling slightly as she held his thighs digging her nails into his skin making him hiss in pleasure as she took him deeper pulling back slowly and sucking harshly on his tip his hips stuttering against her lips as his held fell back groaning loudly. Looking upwards she used her powers to drag his chin down to look at her as she pulled back kitten licking his tip as he couldn't look away before she widely grinned sinking back down and sucking obscenely making his hands shake in her hair as he tried to stop himself from thrusting into her warm mouth. One of her hands moving to his stomach and raking her nails up and down as she sucked his grip in her hair tightening as he stuttered out her name trying to pull her off.

"I'm gonna...fuck Y/n i'm gonna cum if you don't stop. Jesus christ fuck me." Xavier closed his eyes as his hips thrust into Y/n's mouth her tongue swirling around his tip as she loudly sucked making his eyes roll behind his closed eyes as he moaned her name cumming down her throat as Y/n pulled back, swallowing quickly as Xavier looked down with hooded eyes Y/n pulling away with a trail of drool as she licked along his cock cleaning him. Licking her lips before wiping her mouth with her finger seductively standing up and leaning against him, kissing his chest then neck then chin before placing a sloppy kiss on his mouth Xavier groaning into it. A grin on her face as she pulled back drawing patterns on his chest as he gripped the table trying to calm down again as she stared at him with blown eyes. 

"You sound so pretty when i suck your dick." Xavier grinned pulling her into a kiss as he hiked up her skirt and ripping her tights as he pulled her thigh against his hip. 

"Mhm, my turn." Y/n grinned as Xavier picked her up pushing her against the table as she laughed feeling his hands make their way to her underwear as he wiggled his eyebrows at her making her laugh louder as he kissed down her stomach.

"You're a dork." Y/n said as Xavier nipped at her waist teasing her as he pulled down her underwear.

"Your dork." Xavier smiled cheekily at her as she playfully rolled her eyes.

"My dork." Y/n grinned at him as he pulled down her underwear.

Wednesday Taglist:

@celibacy-or-death @sarcastic-sourwolf @snips-501 @lilithskywalker @parkersmyth @hey-im-bored504 @1horrormoviewhore1 @peachycupotea @moonmaiden1996 @bebopsworld @betray-jaes@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o @ilovedeadguys @kaz-2y567 @darling-twh @90sgothik@thematicallythalia @cheezybread @arivh @kaz-2y567 @akinatrix @just-sana @manuosorioh@alohastitch0626 @snips-501 @lovesanimals0000 @trashmouthsahra @whatinthefreshhellisthis@elle4404 @pasta88love @sourbiscuit @sl-t4ym1r @whatinthefreshhellisthis @it-was-never-meant-to-be-boys @bringontheweirdworld @laneyspaulding19 @torirosalie @nushy @sophiexoxsblog@here4thefanfic @clevercreatornight @@here4thefanfic @runrabbitrun3 @bi-narystars@doingurmom69 @hanmashujisfuturewife @maystecc @hannaeditzs @yeehawbitchs @living-breathing-bibliophile @kissmebakugou @yunoguns @iovaki @paulina15 @hotgirlsshareaccounts@wonderlandco @kylobensgirl @tobylikesfire @cazza2009 @formulaangel55 @mxxny-lupin @nerd-queen14313 @let-love-bleeds-red @gloriousgam3r @venusandvirtue @emma-andrea1 @nega-omega@herejustforjj @moony-artemis @brittney69 @saltybeanp0le @wonwooen-reads @fanficfanatic204@jolenie @fl0r4f4wn @sidekickforlife @omgmywonderwall-blog @2234world @herejustforjj@serrinaisdying @cherryflavoureds-blog @qardasngan @b-tchymoon @potatosaladsunset @

[lyrarizi]

Alastor theory time:

I have had a theory about his soul deal for so long and i decided to finally share it

I think Alastor sold his soul when he was alive, dont come at me. It just makes much more sense to me than him selling his soul in hell. Imagine you just arrive in hell with an gigantic amounts of power, i wouldn't need to sell my soul for more power if i already got so much.

Now how to explain this is that lilith OR roo (i really like the roo theory) came to him when he was alive to kinda set him up as a puppet for when he would arrive in hell. He is a psychopathic serial killer, who wouldn't want to have him on a leash to do your bidding in hell.

But it makes much more sense cause when he was alive he would have no idea what a soul contract would mean, or he has suspicions that its weird but he would agree much faster. Definitely when roo or lilith would say that it could help him killing people who were like his father. He also canonnically is a mama's boy so roo or lilith could use that too.

But that is the part where he sold his soul, now what would happen in hell and his dissapearence

So when he came into hell he realized he was on a leash. We got 2 different routes that replies to the person, roo or lilith

Lilith:

- the killing spree of Alastor of overlords is not a command its just him wanting to kill them and show his power

- lilith wouldnt order him around much in the time when he arrived in hell and his dissapearence i think.

- when he dissapeared maybe she just locked him up for a time-out or he could have brought him to heaven, maybe to see his mother but that's a bit long stretched.

- after he came back he recieved an order to look after her daughter in the hotel or he went down there without an order to get close to the Princess of hell to free himself from his leash

But we also got roo who i think could be eve or her spirit became roo and Eve is sorta trapped in roo

So imagine this alright? You are the cause for sin to get a physical form or exist and you dont get to rule hell but you are banished while the ones who baited you into sin can happily rule hell and are the most powerfull beings there. I would be pretty pissed and angry.

Here's where Alastor comes into the story.

Roo:

- so she got his soul when he was alive and gave him some extra powers in hell (or all but that makes him really weak and kills his hype and kinda destorys his character, that he actually is a weak guy who recieved all his powers)

- here his killing spree on overlords would be a training for him to eventually kidnap the Queen of hell for roo

- could be that that was earlier in time and she disgueses herself as lilith to destroy the marriage between her and lucifer or lilith destroyed the relationship herself and got kidnapped which follows to her 7 year dissapearence

- so when Alastor kidnapped lilith he would no longer be of use and be put in time out (what really would make it tragic is what i read in a fic is that he would be locked up in a black void with nothing except himself for 7 years and i kinda love it)

- roo got notice of a hotel by the Princess of hell and that was her next target, the daughter of Lucifer and lilith, so she sent Alastor to the hotel to befriend charlie so she could use it later in her revenge

And now we are at the end of the series but some small things are (explained) further in this post:

- His rivalry with lucifer: he just hates him because of lilith

- the eyes following him would refer to roo watching him

- lilith on the beach could be eve just enjoying a vacation while her puppet is doing all the work

- also in ep5 it was eve's hair, not lilith she never had her hair like that

- my personal theory for alastor's smile is thats its stitched to prevent him from talking about his deal, sure be can talk that he made a deal otherwise Husk couldn't know but he cant say anything about what was in the contract and with who

I know the lilith theory is really popular but it just seems so obvious, too obvious and why would lilith even want alastor's soul i cant think of a reason for it

Anyways thanks for reading my theory ❤️

[chaifootsteps]

God I’m so fucking tired of Vivziepop. I’m sorry, I love some of her stuff, and I’ve learned to do more dynamic poses with her art, but I can’t watch anything made by her anymore. She’s too much. Too many rumors(that may or may not be true), has too many characters that look white, too many curse words, inappropriate usage of voodoo and rape, and making a character that is a literal cannibal and serial killer be sympathetic. I get it, it’s hell, and no one’s innocent(EXECPT FOR THE FUCKING ANTI-CHRIST APPARENTLY???), but I’ve been too many people make Alastor have mommy issues and people in the comments with be like “NOT MY POOKIE ALASTOR!!”

BITCH HE WOULD OWN YOUR SOUL AND TORTURE YOU SHUT UP!!!!

Also the fucking problem with backbone of wires Vox, “my fashion is stuck in 2012” Velvet, and that dickshitter Val. I’m perfectly fine with conventionally attractive people being horrendous people, it happens a lot, but they also downplay (sometimes) what the other Vees do and make Val seem like the worst. Vel sells a date rape drug, and Vox literally makes stalking easer and enables Val. THEY BOTH DO!!

And dear FUCKING LORD STOP SIMPING OVER ALASTOR. sure I get simping over a character that has a good character design, but he would push you aside without another thought. He. Does. Not. Care. ALSO IVE SEEN TOO MANY “JUST THE TIP ALASTOR!” FUCK THE SHIT OFFFF!!!!! STOP IT YOU HORNY MOTHERFUCKERSZZ!!!

And also adams entire character. I genuinely hate him. I don’t care for him. He was done so dirty and no I will not say that his character is good. I get it, yes a lot in the Bible about Adam is very misogynistic(for fucks sake in the Jewish Bible he got upset at Lilith because Lilith wanted to have sex equally(side by side sex)), but he’s. Fucking. Adam. THE FIRST MAN!!! Would he not be monitored by the seraphim or god himself??? He’s very important!! And when he fought Charlie, I was disappointed. “The entire human race came from these balls!!!” FUCK OFF!!! Would the first man, whom was made in gods image, curse like a sailor and call his second in command “danger tits???”

Rosie I like. No complains, just the voice is a bit much.

Angel and Husk. “Oh we’re doing slow burn!!” BITCH WHERE. HUH??? MASQUERADE IS LITERALLY THEM JUST FALLING IN LOVE GET OFF MY DICK

Also it’s so fucking vile that she named Vaggie Vagina. What the shit. Huh??? “Oh it’s mysogonistic Adam! It makes sense!” Yeah and going with that logic the fuck is lute short for?? Yeah, it’s a joke about female genitalia and it makes me sick,, I don’t even like saying her name.

Also fucking Pentious and Cherri. Get the FUCKKKK OFFFF. I just can’t stand them. Ugh. I don’t like it. I really don’t. It’s bad

Nifty. No.

Sorry, this was a rant. I’m so sorry

Sometimes you just need to rant, and I don't blame you one bit.

it's so, so fucking much, all the time.

[yourlocalsmutwriter]

A test of faith- Lee Sa-ra x reader

TW: mentions of homophobia/conversion therapy, coercion, mentions of illegal substances, generally a fucked up fic. MINORS DNI PLEASE

Serving God was not on top of your bingo card for this year. But through a long process you were here. Religion was a bit of a taboo in your family. Your grandparents were religious. Your parents, not so much. But the tables turned when they caught you sleeping with another woman. So, off to "curing" you, you were "sick". And the only place that could "help" you was the church. It took a few years, but you were "fixed". Bullshit. Conversion camp just made you a lot sneakier when it came to hooking up with girls. Sadly, it also made you miss a lot of high-school and college. So when you came out of there, you could not land a job. There was no way to explain the gap in your resume. Yeah, my parents sent me away for being too gay wasn't really a catch for employers. So you had to go back and work for the church. You could be a counselor for the camp. Fuck that. You weren't about to scare some poor teenagers straight. So the only other option was working for the church. Cleaning, organizing events, even working behind the counter and collecting the entrance fee, you'd do it all. Though unfortunately the only way you could get a job was by asking in person.

You were terrible at interviews. Generally you were a shy person and you had trouble speaking up. So when it was time to "sell yourself" to employers, you were screwed. You wiped your sweaty palms against your skirt. It wasn't going to be that hard. 30 minutes to 45, in and out, talking about redemption, devotion, just wanting to help out.

They called you in, but instead of a small room with a desk and chairs, they led you into a pretty bare room. Before you could question anything, the door behind you was slammed and locked. And on the other side of the room, you could see the same happening to someone else. Then that person stepped forward and holy shit, it was Lee Sa-ra. The famous abstract painter, who just happened to be the daughter of the church leaders. But what was she doing here? And why were you both alone in a room? Actually, you looked around and saw that there was a bulky man keeping guard at the door. Why would you escape? Just as you thought that, a voice carried over the speakers. It said your name, followed by ''I guess you are very confused, sister. You see, you came here for a job. And we admire that. But you must know that guide lost souls back to the righteous path. But have you earned redemption? Or are you still a sinner? Can you resist temptation? and then cut out. Another message began, this time for Sa-ra. ''Sa-ra, you need redemption too. Though your sin is different. You were always more like Lilith, rather than Eve. So, use that. Earn your forgiveness by condemning others. ''

Then it got quiet. You and Sa-ra looked at each other. ''So, they obviously want us to turn on each other. But I have no benefit to sabotage you. You wanna join the church and press people, giving them the fear of God? Be my fucking guest. Judging from what I heard, you've been through some messed up shit too. So if this is your calling, go ahead. I tell you what, even standing here in your presence made me holly. So, we're free to go.'' she said. Sa-ra stared straight at our guard. He just sighed, cleared his throat, and pulled a large bag of white powder from seemingly nowhere.

''Nice try. I can buy flour too, jackass.'' Sa-ra said.

The guard once again didn't say anything, just went over to you. He dragged you by the hair and forced you to sit as he grabbed his key. He spread the white powder over it and pressed your face near it. Still, you refused to inhale. He squeezed your throat until you gasped for breath and the white powder was in your nose. He did that a few more times and carried you back to Sa-ra.

''Watch her and then tell me if it's the real stuff'' he said. Sa-ra placed her hand on your pulse point and waited for some time. She could feel your heartbeat skyrocket, watching you shiver, and repeatedly bounce your leg up and down.

But what tipped her off was your nosebleed. ''Holy shit'' Sara said. ''You gave her actual coke. ''she continued in disbelief. She knew that her parents and overall the church would never be okay with this, yet here she was on holy grounds, taking care of you, a complete stranger. So that led her to believe that this was some very fucked up revenge plan or blackmail of some sort. Or was it a test of faith?

And here you were, on a job interview, being high as a kite. But the strangeness was far from over. Because the real fun was just now getting started. The voice over the speakers began again. But this time it was different. No longer cryptic and confusing. It was clear as a bell. ''Sa-ra, you want drugs. And the other one here wants a job. But only one of you can make it out of here with your wish intact. There's a certain sin that you have both committed. Timothy 1:10.''

Sa-ra stared at you for an explanation. ''We're both gay. It's one of the 6 mentions of homosexuality in the Bible. Those have been drilled into me since conversion camp.''

''So, we've both been with some women, big deal. But how does that tie in with what we have to do to get out of here?'' Sa-ra asked. Silently you wondered that too. How could you trick her to be more gay than you? How would that be measured? Your brain replayed the previous instructions to you. It had been urging her to tempt you, so did they mean seduce you. So maybe the first one to make a move would lose. Or win. It was a dangerous gamble, but you decided to try it. You leaned it and pressed your lips to Sa-ra's. And it felt good. To your surprise, she kissed back.

Maybe it was because you were under the influence. Maybe it was because she had been your celebrity crush for some time. But you could work with this. You let her deepen the kiss and even let out a soft moan. You were already getting a bit drunk on this. You hoped that this was enough. At this point, you didn't even care about losing the job. You just wanted to go home. You finally thought you were free, as you heard the voice over the speakers again. ''I see both little lambs are on the right track. But what is a mere kiss? Did Judas not kiss Jesus? We want more. And we want it now. So I'll put it plainly for you. Whoever makes the other cum wins.''

You were shocked. But then you looked around the room. The security guard was gone. And Sa-ra was stripping. She was like an angel, you thought. Then it dawned on you how fucked up this whole thing was. Why was she going along with this so easily? Were drugs so important to her that she was willing to sacrifice her dignity like this? But then you had heard the rumors. Her stunts in Paris, with reporters calling her a whore, who sleeps on the streets. Her many dating rumors. There was the scandal of her being a sugar mommy for this college girl while using the church money. You weren't one for gossip anyway.

''Throwing in the towel,'' she asked. Then she kissed you again. You knew that you would be screwed if you also didn't do anything. So you just went with it, hoping to do some damage as well. Both of you slowly went to the floor, kissing each other. There were bits where you almost wrestled. You knew if you took control of her, maybe you could win even though dominance wasn't always your thing. But apparently, you weren't the only one with that idea. And Sa-ra somehow had more experience than you. She easily pinned you down and started taking off your clothes. Your button-down was off. Your skirt was halfway down your legs. It would help if you hated this. You should use every muscle in your body to try to escape her. Or even better turn the tables and get a shot at winning this thing. But instead, you just pulled your panties to the side. Fuck it, you were losing, but at least you'd get a nut out of it. Sa-ra spread your legs and started rubbing your clit. ''You're already so wet. At least you're gonna make this easy for me,'' she said.

You noticed a camera in the corner of the room. Shit, was it even on. And was it broadcasting this online? You were completely exposed. So you decided you weren't going down without a fight, no pun intended. First, you leaned into Sa-ra's touch, making her think you were on her side. Then, you say ''Sara unnie, you know I feel so good. But I never come from fingers. They just make me feel full and satisfied, but it's never enough. Can you please lick me? ''

She probably questioned this, as she could feel how close you were, how your walls were drawing her fingers in, and how tightly your pussy was gripping her. But she said nothing, just obliged your request. Guess altruism wasn't dead. Either that or she was a really good dom top. And apparently, this wasn't the only thing she was good at. Lee Sa-ra could retire and eat pussy for a living. You were about to show her that you weren't lacking in that department either. Or should we say, eater? As she was getting more and more into it, she let down her guard more. And you decided to strike. While her face was still buried deep in your cunt, you buried yours in hers. Thank God for Sa-ra's love for dresses. You felt bad about ripping her designer clothes. But you were not walking out of this room without a fight. At least this way you wouldn't be a sore loser. You moved her underwear to the side and began eating her out. Shit, she was wet, possibly even wetter than you. Was this whole thing turning her on? You selfishly wished that this whole thing didn't happen and the two of you met in a normal way. If that were the case, mutual orgasms would be a given.

69 wasn't your favorite position. Or at least it hadn't been until now. Your bodies were pressed closely together, so with every move your tits were rubbing against Sa-ra's and hers against yours. Not only that, but every moan she let out was a vibration on your clit. Fuck, you could get used to this. You could feel yourself getting ready to cum, but Sa-ra was also close. So you kept your tongue on her clit and slipped a finger inside of her. And that was all she needed to finish. At the exact same second that you did.

At least this was over. There was no winner, no loser. Until you heard the voice on the speakers announce. ''Round 1, Draw. Please prepare for a tiebreaker.''

[lowpolynpixelated]

Nightmare Kart: Multi-Track Dreaming

LW Media have done it again. After making one of the best fanworks on the web with “Bloodborne PSX” star developer Lilith Walther has returned to the realm of nightmares to go a little faster this time. How much faster? Somewhere around 200cc or so. Nightmare Kart made its debut on itch.io on June 3rd 2024 and has already become yet another banger from the dev that keeps on giving. First imagined as “Bloodborne Kart” the game hit a minor legal snag and ended up having to scrub any overt references to the Fromsoftware game entirely, leading to its rebranding into the much more original “Nightmare Kart”. But what is Nightmare Kart? And why should you play it? In this article/review I’d like to go over my personal favourite elements as well as some not-so polished ones that all in all make Nightmare Kart an easy sell to anyone looking to have some new fun in an old school way.

Some Background:

If you’ve read my article on Bloodborne PSX you know that I’m a massive fan of LW Media’s previous work. BBPSX was a masterwork in bringing old fashioned clunk to a modern game and letting it thrive on the atmosphere and gameplay quirks that come with something like that. Nightmare Kart is no different. According to Lilith via our previous interview work on Nightmare Kart began not too long after BBPSX released, owing its existence largely to a popular meme used to tease a new Bloodborne game being announced at major gaming shows. Ever since the game’s inception Lilith was hard at work trying to make a kart racer that captured not only the feeling of Bloodborne’s visceral world and combat, but those old school racers we all know and love. I personally am a big fan of Mario Kart 64, and when I got to ask her questions about Nightmare Kart’s development I was delighted to hear that she was taking inspiration from the title. My previous article is linked here as well as Lilith’s tumblr blog and youtube channel where you can see more of the development process in action leading up to the debut of the game.

Nightmare Kart:

So, back to that question I asked before, what is Nightmare Kart? Inspired by kart racer classics like Mario Kart 64, Diddy Kong Racing, and Crash Team Racing, alongside some rather exciting action picks like Halo, Nightmare Kart is a combination kart racer/battler. In the game you take on the role of “The good hunter”, a mysterious person who awakens in a strange world known as the Pocket Dream before taking to the streets of Miralodia, a gothic styled city beset by all sorts of creatures of the night. The game takes you through a brief singleplayer campaign consisting of several races, battle mode matches, and even boss fights showing off an impressive array of gameplay and animated cutscenes. The base gameplay of the racer is closest to those kart racers I mentioned before, with drifting and boosting being a core part of the racing experience. It does however put some unique souls-like spins on a few things, as well as introducing a brake-slide mechanic which allows you to turn on a dime at the cost of your momentum. A true feast for the senses, consisting of graphics and music to rival Bloodborne PSX in their quality, and a truly impressive feat of development prowess. The game, much like its predecessor, feels so at home in its old school roots that I could almost hear the disc whirring in the drive of my non-existent PlayStation as I played through its campaign and tore through some multiplayer battles.

Gameplay:

Let’s talk more about that gameplay for a bit. As mentioned before Nightmare Kart does a superb job at nailing the feeling of an old school kart racer with a modern twist. A large part of that is its more battle-focused gameplay, as the powerups and controls are much more suited for aggression and duking it out at high speed than just simply racing. The first mechanic to show this off is the Blood Droplets system. As you race a number of enemies will spawn on the track and wander around, some will even try to attack racers as they speed past. Running over one of these enemies or destroying them with one of the several weapons on offer nets an amount of “blood droplets”. These function identically to both Blood Echoes in Bloodborne as well as coins in the Mario Kart series. The more droplets you collect, the higher your maximum speed will increase (as indicated by a red sword shaped arrow on your in-game speedometer). There is, however, a limited number of these enemies on a given track. Once they’re all killed you’ll have to turn to alternative means to collect those speed-granting droplets. Most notably, the destruction of your fellow racers. With a small array of weapons at your disposal granted via small powerup sparks scattered throughout the tracks you’ll be able to cut, smash, shoot, or even call down the stars themselves upon your competition to take their droplets as your own. This feature is most important during races, where speed is much more of a focus, but during the battle modes is where the fighting truly shines.

Deathmatch, elimination, capture the flag, and a score mode based around having the most droplets for your team all serve as the real way to show off Nightmare Kart’s strengths. The brake-slide mentioned before serves as your way to stop and aim ranged weapons like the hunter’s pistol and lever action shotgun, or to reposition yourself for a lunging strike with one of the several melee weapons you’re able to slot in to your melee powerup slot. My personal favourite of these were the gatling gun, which straps a four-barreled monster of a gun to the front of a vehicle of your choice allowing for 40 shots of continuous rapid fire destruction, and the spark-cage, a stand in for the Bloodborne Tonitrus which sends you leaping forward in your kart to smash an electrified mace into your opponents. All of this is headed by a health and stamina system much akin to the game’s former namesake. Health dictates damage done and sustained, while stamina is used by dashing. Also consumed by dashing are “Aether Viles”, viles of blue liquid used in groups of 5 to send you careening forward with a burst of speed. Performing tricks off of jumps by tapping the jump button or simple picking them up from a powerup grants you a number of these viles which you can use to bash into enemies or get ahead in the race standings. With everything I’ve talked about here I hope it’s apparent just how fun Nightmare Kart is to play. I had such an amazing time trashing enemies in deathmatch battles and roaring my way through city streets and forbidden forests.

Graphics/Design:

Nightmare Kart boasts a sense of style rivaled only by the game that came before it. Iterating on the already delightfully dated look that BBPSX had, Nightmare Kart takes it to the next level with original characters and environments that give it that trademark PSX feel. Coming with a built in (and customizeable) CRT filter along with a slew of graphical options ranging from texture warp to pixel distortion the game has quite literally never looked better. My entire time with the game was spent marveling at the track design and style that bleeds from every low-poly crease and jittering texture. Twelve vehicles and a variety of playable characters show off the gothic horror inspirations from Bloodborne and otherwise in perfect pixelated glory. Just as with BBPSX the game shows a mastery of the concept of a “demake”, but being built from the ground up as an original concept the game shows off iconic themes and locations leftover from its Bloodborne origins now with a lovingly crafted layer of originality. Fans of PSX horror and modern retro-makes in general will find nothing but some of the best graphical styling from this game’s blood soaked streets and haunted clock towers.

The real star at the center of well crafted textures and wonderfully low-detail models is the track design. Even if it isn’t legally allowed be Bloodborne Kart, its very apparent that the tracks on offer are nothing less than love letters to a wacky concept contained within a genuine respect for the inspirations. The game’s first few tracks do a top notch job at showing off the sort of homage you’d come to expect from a game inspired by Fromsoft’s gothic masterpiece, but soon descend into the depths of creative (and sometimes seemingly sadistic) level design that sets a kart racer apart from its peers. The Forbidden Forest, for example, features a split path laden with traps and lurking enemies that culminates in an upward clime via jump pads that sends you up the decaying innards of a windmill tower. Delving further into the madness sees you drifting your way through a library maze and making daring jumps to catch up with Nicholas, one of the game’s bosses to put him down for good. The inspiration for this game shines through even the mandatory layer of original art, enhancing into a viscerally wild ride from the first look at the endless void of the Pocket Dream to the cramped quarters of the Outsider’s Mansion.

Sound design/Soundtrack:

At last we arrive at what I consider to be the true highlight of Nightmare Kart. Continuing from BBPSX’s beautifully bitcrushed audio design Nightmare Kart wastes absolutely no time showing off just how much work was put into making the nightmare sound as good as it looks. One thing in particular that stuck with me was the animated cutscenes seen throughout the singleplayer campaign. Fully voice acted and entirely animated the voices in the scenes remind me of the best of the best PlayStation VA work. Extending a massive amount of congratulations to the entire voice cast, which the game’s developer Lilith Walther also provided a performance for. Those sweet filtered voices are only the beginning though, as Nightmare Kart’s soundtrack explodes into a symphony of haunted house jams and retro bangers right from the first screen. I find myself left without a whole lot to say other than just how good the soundtrack is. Composer Evalyn Lark destroyed any doubts I could have had about the game’s soundtrack not living up to the hype that the concept drummed up. The full soundtrack is available on youtube as well as other streaming services and will also be linked in this article for your listening pleasure. A short but sweet section for a set of tunes that I truly feel need to speak for themselves.

Full soundtrack

A sweet nightmare, and everything that comes with it

This section is a bit different from what I usually do in reviews like this. As I don’t have a second interview with Ms. Walther and I want this to be just as much a discussion about the game as well as a glowing review, I’d like to go over the less than stellar things I experienced while I sped my way through the horrors and bloodsoaked nightmare visions. I’d like to start off this section with this: This article/review is a work of opinion, not objective fact. Everything I put here is based on my own experience with the game. I also understand that in the modern video game landscape we exist in a time where games can receive updates and patches to repair and alter things that might be grinding or frustrating to players. I say all of this out of profuse respect for Ms. Walther and all of those who worked on Nightmare Kart, so that my words cannot be taken as damning evidence that this game is anything other than fun.

Nightmare Kart is above all else, an indie game in the purest meaning of the phrase. Developed by a small team on a small (by video game standards) budget and released entirely for free for anyone to enjoy. Because of this it does suffer from some standard if not frustrating bugs and glitches that made my experience with it nearly perfect, but not quite. Every game (especially today) has it’s rough edges. And with one trying to have so many on purpose (visually anyway) it was bound to have something in it that didn’t function one hundred percent of the time, or something out of place at random intervals.

Common glitches I encountered while playing:

- Hitting walls and ending up underneath the map (this has a minor fix already in the game in the form of a respawn option)

- Controls not being recognized after being hit by an enemy weapon, requiring me to either repress buttons or restart the match/race

- Powerups not actually firing off but being consumed anyway

Please keep in mind that these three things are glitches and do have the potential to be patched out. However, even if they weren’t, I think they added to the charm of the game either way. What was also a part of the charm and became somewhat grating as the game went on were some things I feel work against the games sense of flow and speed that the races would have you want to achieve. These notes are not comprehensive, and come from a place of constructive criticism only. The first frustrating element came in the form of the game’s strict adherence to a retro draw distance. Most of the tracks in the game are enveloped in a dark fog after a certain point, and the track becomes revealed to you as you ride or drive. This works wonders for the atmosphere, but tended to work against me when I was gaining speed and using my aether boosts, only to run face first into a wall because I couldn’t see the turn coming. Moving on from that but in the same vein, running into things can lead into some frustrating moments as well. Some objects and even enemies have hitboxes a fair bit larger than what it would appear. There were several times I tried to skirt past a crucified beast or stack of unbreakable boxes only for a seemingly small part of my cart to clip it, causing the entirety of my speed and momentum to be lost along with my placement. Getting stuck on one of these objects is a different beast entirely, as sometimes the objects invisible hitbox stops you from turning or accelerating altogether until you physically use the reverse button and reorient yourself. On top of all of this, and I’ve certainly seen people state this in far less kind ways, I do feel like the game’s campaign is a bit too easy. Now please keep in mind I did not go into Nightmare Kart expecting a high skill ceiling challenge that would test my mettle at every turn. I also didn’t expect to essentially go on a joyride through the nightmare’s scenic vistas and town squares while a host of NPC drivers waged war with each other far behind me, occasionally sending a volley of stars my way which did very little to actually slow me down. Combined with the fact that enemies didn’t seem to respawn once killed, I found myself with shockingly little to do other than just drive and go for style points on the jumps as I stayed well ahead of the pack. This issue, I will add, was exclusive to the campaign’s races. I found the AI was much more suited for battling it out in the boss battles and other versus modes, the elimination match at the end of the game being a particular highlight of an absolute brawl. None of these issues stand to ruin any part of Nightmare Kart’s fun. Video games are hard to make, and not a single one of them can ever claim to be perfect. These just stand as notes from a personal perspective, meant to offer a bit of a look at what someone jumping into the game and playing it start to finish might experience.

Closing Thoughts:

If you’re looking for something fun to play this summer I can’t recommend Nightmare Kart enough. It really does echo the days of playing head to head with friends in wacky kart racers and deathmatch games, going as far as to combine the two into easily one of the most fun kart games I’ve ever played. If you liked what you read here or would otherwise like to support LW Media’s endeavors, I’ve linked the official itch.io page and steam page for Nightmare Kart below, along with the LW Media patreon and (yet another) link to my previous article on Bloodborne PSX. Thank you so much for reading, now go shred those radical streets.

Links:

Nightmare Kart

Steam

itch.io

LWMedia Patreon

Bloodborne PSX Article