#seriously now you guys also think they are a little bit cartoonish? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladyhindsight · 1 year

Note

Maybe it's just me, but I never found TSC villains compelling.

Most of them were either Cartoonish or uninteresting. Some of them were interesting at the beginning and lost the spark because of the pathetic job CC did in providing them proper page time.

My problem with her characters is not about them being the typical comic villains. Instead, they are soo poorly written and are only considered cunning because CC is dumb....ahem... What I mean is that they do not have enough brain cells to be considered cunning, definitely not as crafty as the writing suggests (they are vicious, yes. But that's a fundamental quality of a villain).

Valentine - the most intelligent, charming, manipulative, always 10 steps ahead - could not think that summoning an Angel (a heavenly being more powerful than he could ever be) and asking it a favour without offering any deal/ sacrifice or having a plan B was dumb? Why didn't he even think for a sec that even if Raziel doesn't know about Ithuriel's imprisonment and all, summoning an entity that can kill you easily could be risky? It's not even a last-minute plan, it's what he had been working for throughout the 1st, 2nd and 3rd books.

Also, if he has the power to capture Ithuriel, a powerful angel (as far as I know), then why not use that power to capture Raziel or why not use Ithuriel's blood to create a new race of half angels that he could control and use to wage war against other shadow hunters?

Sebastian: I never took him seriously. He was just...there obsessing over the main characters because that's what villains do. I did not feel sad (not even a little bit sad) when he died. I don't think he's as complex or as sympathetic as the fandom makes him to be.

Axel Mortmain: Seriously, do people even know TID has a Villain? I do. I'm not happy about it! Frankly speaking, Mortmain did spark my interest when he was revealed to be the bad guy at the end of the first book.

The reason for that: He's just a rich, immortal Mundane against Shadowhunters. He managed to manipulate powerful Downworlders like de Quincy. After reading all about how Mundanes are weak and inferior to the SH in TMI, I thought it would be nice to see a Mundane being a threat to the Shadowhunters. He was the only one with some level of intellect among all the villains in the TSC world. At least, that's what I thought when I finished CoA.

Of course, that interest died quickly when he was only used for causing more drama in a love triangle. CC didn't even pretend she cared about the plot or other characters.

Malcolm& Anabel are Ok-ish...I guess. Once again, neither left a strong impression on me, but I could see why someone else might like them. Or show sympathy for their backstory.

psttttt.........There's a villain called Shinyun...do you know that? Easily the most forgettable character I've ever read.

Tatiana: She had a sympathetic backstory but was a hilariously dumb villain. Once again, a character was established as cunning but only "cunning" because the other characters are stupid. The narration considers her cunning in the way Clave is considered Stupid.

Tatiana and Zara have something in common: both function as the "straw characters". Zara exists as a representation of people who criticize CC's romantic arcs. Tatiana had a motivation behind her hatred. However, from time to time, she was still used as a straw character. I never understood why she specifically said, "Herondales have dominated Shadowhunters history, there should've been more lightwoods". When she clearly hated Lightwoods too. That was oddly specific.

Belial: ugh.....where should I even begin...? Now, I didn't expect him to be a complex villain. But as THE PRINCE OF HELL, I expected a few brain cells from him. Turns out he's the dumbest Villain to ever exist. Now. I'm not going into details as you didn't finish ChoT.

It makes me wonder how TWP Villains are going to be? I'm assuming there would be a lot of Villains...I hope at least some of them are crafty, vicious and would feel like an actual threat to the characters.

Lmao, It's quite lengthy.

Anyway, Thanks for reading.

You’re definitely not alone in that. I agree 100 %. One of my favorite topics are the terrible cartoon villains that appear on the pages of these books. I once wrote in a post about Benedict Lightwood and Tatiana that the villains are characters who are reduced to few oversimplified evil traits and their villainy is over-exaggerated.

As characters they’ve essentially become a combination of both oversimplification and exaggeration, which makes them more caricatures of villains rather than believably motivated, individual characters. […] These character exhibit the degree of nastiness that primarily serves to enhance the goodness, moral superiority, and righteousness of the protagonists. Their lacking complexity is partly a result of this objective. Another part to this is the unwillingness in the narrative to accept the villain as wholly human person. They lack proper motivation or basis outside of being evil for the sake of being evil. They have no inner life and all their time is dedicated to their evil deeds and self-serving purposes. Writing villains like these is also a result of overly simplistic understanding of certain characters for which the narrative then ignores the complexities inherent in each individual person—even the bad ones. The level of awfulness of these villains is something no sensible member of the Clave would deem as alright. They aren’t slick, charismatic, or suave enough for the readers or the Good Guys to be blinded by their malicious intentions, so why are the rest of the members of the Clave blind to it? These villains aren’t that intelligent and cunning. Their intelligence and cunning should be achieved through skillful use of literary devices, not dumbing down other characters. Having everyone go with their charisma that fools them only because the writing says so gives the other Nephilim bad contrast and is frustrating for readers to wait for them to catch up. They are villains, they are supposed to be awful doesn’t change the fact that what the writing has produced are walking talking mission statements only meant for spouting out obviously controversial and unacceptable ideologies. This comes from the habit of picking out only easy and surface level aspects to enhance their badness, like sexism, racial supremacy, and homophobia, which any sensible and empathetic reader would obviously strongly disagree with.

Valentine is only intelligent and a smooth talker because Clare just doesn’t write Clary being able to refute any of his arguments while I am doing it for her when reading. It’s all telling and showing, much like the rest of the books but it does a greater disservice to the villains. Here are some links to my other older answers about this topic if you wish to read more of the thoughts:

Sebastian’s potential at compelling villainy and him being EVIL

Thoughts on Sebastian being a villain

Thoughts on Zara being a villain

On Tatiana

A thought about Tatiana

#Valentine Morgenstern #Sebastian Morgenstern #Tatiana Blackthorn #Benedict Lightwood #Zara Dearborn #Series discussion #Reply

19 notes · View notes

jazy3 · 3 years

Text

Free Guy Review

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

If you haven’t seen the movie Free Guy (2021) stop reading right now! Drop what you’re doing and go get yourself a ticket! You’ll thank me later!

I loved this movie! I saw it this weekend for the second time because it’s that good! I first saw the trailer on YouTube a while back and then when theatres reopened a few weeks ago I saw the trailer again and my interest was piqued. I had high hopes for this movie based on the fun looking trailer, the premise, the cast, and the sense of fun and escapism that the movie seemed to embody and it did not disappoint. It’s always nice when you have high hopes for something and it meets or exceeds your expectations.

Free Guy is just such a fun and joyous movie. Never taking itself too seriously, packed with lots of heart, cool cameos, full of gaming and pop culture references, and it’s fueled by a unique concept that is well executed. There are just so many things I loved about this movie! It was a ton of fun to watch and the actors clearly had a blast making it. During the movie I kept trying to figure out where I knew most of the actors from but couldn’t place them. When I got home, I googled it and I instantly realized why. The roles are just so different and the actors embody their characters so completely you lose yourself in the film and get completely sucked in. I was honestly so surprised when I figured out what I knew most of the actors from because the roles that they’re known for are so different from their characters in the movie. Their appearances, established ages, and even the accents are so different that I literally did a double take, but that’s what makes the movie so good! Because the main actors obviously didn’t need the paycheque they were just there to have fun and it shows. I think if the situation had been different and the actors involved had been desperate for money or took the role for some other reason it wouldn’t have worked. The film would have come off as cheesy, forced, cringeworthy, or just plain bad. Free Guy is none of those things. The film stars Ryan Reynolds as ‘Guy’ a bank teller in a video game called Free City, Jodie Comer whose best known for playing Villanelle in Killing Eve as programmer Millie Rusk and her avatar Molotov Girl, Joe Keery whose best known for playing Steve Harrington in Stranger Things as programmer Walter ‘Keys’ McKey, and Taika Waititi whose best known for playing Viago in What We Do in the Shadows as the Head of Soonami Studios and the film’s main antagonist and villain Antwan. Rounding out the cast are Utkarsh Ambudka as programmer Mouser and Lil Rel Howery as Guy’s best friend and bank security guard Buddy. In a nutshell, Free Guy is about a bank teller named Guy who finds out he’s a non-playable background character (NPC) in an open-world Grand Theft Auto style video game called Free City. Guy becomes the hero of his own story after meeting Millie, the girl of his dreams, and winning fans all over the world by racking up points by being the good guy and helping others. After leveling up and helping Millie escape a dangerous situation in the game, Guy wins her over and she falls for him thinking that he’s another player. But when the world that Guy knows and all of the people in it are threatened, he teams up with Millie to save his friends before it’s too late. In the real world, Millie enlists the help of her former programming partner and best friend Keys in a race against time to stop their code and all of the sentient characters from Free City from being deleted by Antwan the developer who stole their code when the game’s sequel launches. I love that the movie had a unique premise and didn’t overcomplicate things. There are so many movies that I’ve gone to see over the last few years with such excitement only to be disappointed. For example, I loved Wreck It Ralph, but was so disappointed by its sequel Ralph Breaks the Internet. The trailers made it seem like it would take the premise of the first movie and move things into the online gaming world, and I was excited for that. Instead, the sequel left the premise of the first movie behind entirely and way over complicated the plot and the end result was extremely cheesy and disappointing. Free Guy’s strength is that it’s a self-aware movie made by self-aware people who are excellent at what they do. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, nor should it, and that allows the story to flow and the characters to feel real and genuine. The movie achieves that perfect balance between being entertaining and telling a cohesive and important story because while the movie never takes itself too seriously the people behind it are serious about what they do. This was very clearly a passion project for all involved, especially Ryan Reynolds, and it shows! As he’s spoken about in interviews and on Twitter, Reynolds called on a lot of his friends to be in Free Guy and help him out and the end result was fantastic! I loved all of the cameos! The Chris Evans cameo was by far the funniest and the Alex Trebek cameo got me right in the feels. When I saw the movie in theatres me and everyone else in the theatre gave a collective “awww” when he appeared on screen. Enlisting real YouTubers to show up as fictional versions of themselves to talk about Blue Shirt Guy’s popularity was a nice touch and you’ve also got blink and you miss it voice cameos by John Krasinski, Dwyane The Rock Johnson, Hugh Jackman, and Tina Fey. Channing Tatum appears as the avatar of player Revenjamin Buttons which for the most part was hilarious. One of my few criticisms of the film is that they went a bit overboard the avatar’s antics as Guy and Buddy are attempting to leave and it got bit a cringeworthy. But I know other people found it hilarious so to each their own. I love all of the little details and references in the movie. Just listing them all would be a post in itself. If you’re someone that loves pop culture references and Easter Eggs this is the movie for you. The characters are fun and believable, and you get attached to them quickly. The actors commit completely to their roles which is makes the humour, romance, and heartfelt emotion of the film work. You buy it. 100%. Something that I absolutely loved was that the characters felt realistic and that the dialogue, attire, and settings for each character really felt authentic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a movie or TV show and walked away thinking, “The person who wrote that clearly never meet a kid, teenager, or twenty something in their life! That was so unrealistic.” The slang’s all wrong. The dialogue is so eloquent everyone sounds like they did Shakespeare in the Park last summer. You walk away thinking, “What the hell was that? No one talks that way!” What I loved about the characters in Free Guy is that they felt like real people you could actually run into or walk past on the street. I’ve read in interviews that in addition to the written dialogue the cast did a lot of ad-libbing and improvisation and the end result is both hilarious and relatable. The dialogue feels real because it is. The big exception to this of course is Antwan who is altogether off the wall and ridiculous. Antwan is such an outrageous, absurd, vulgar, and cartoonish character. He’s so fun to watch and the actors clearly had a lot of fun with his scenes! I’ve read that a lot of his lines with Keys and Mouser were improvised and I believe it. When he goes all Jack Nicholson on the servers? Lord. He’s such a great villain to watch. The characters that are established to be in their twenties like Millie, Keys, Mouser, and the other employees at Soonami Studios talk, act, and dress like they’re in their twenties. The actors that are in their forties are styled to look like they’re in their thirties and honestly, they’re in such great shape it works! I mean I was honestly shocked to find out Taika Waititi’s real age. I love how the costuming really fits each character and allows you to learn more about them. Keys’ clothing is your typical gamer chic which makes because as we learn from his interview with Millie coding is his life and what gets him up in the morning. From Mouser’s clothing we learn that he’s a sports fan, but also isn’t afraid to take risks like with that blazer ensemble he wears in his final scene at Millie’s apartment.

Millie’s clothing shows the contrast between her and her avatar Molotov Girl, and Antwan’s ridiculous coat enhances the overall wackiness of his character. Guy’s clothing tells us something too. He wears the same thing every day until he meets Millie in the game at which point, he starts deviated from his Free City programming and chooses a different blue shirt. I also really love that they put thought into why Keys needs to wear glasses. Something I noticed on rewatch is that Keys is far sighted which is why he has his glasses on when he’s looking at his laptop or computer and sometimes when’s talking to other people, but not when he goes to see Millie at her apartment or when he goes to get them coffee at the end of the movie. Another interesting aspect of Keys’ character that I noticed on rewatch is self-confidence is really something he struggles with in contrast to Millie and Mouser who are very confident. Millie is a genius programmer and Mouser is excellent at what he does, and they are both very confident in their coding abilities, but Keys isn’t despite being every bit the genius that Millie is. At the beginning of the movie when they first notice the issue with Guy Mouser jokes that Keys needs to be better at his job. In response Keys meekly says he thinks he’s pretty good at his job and trails off at the end. Mouser is just joking around, but because Keys lacks self-confidence comments like that hit him hard. Mouser is moving towards his own desk as he talks so he doesn’t notice how self-deprecating and uneasy Keys’ response is. In the interview from the indie games conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment, he brushes off the interviewers comment that he’s a genius and says Millie is the real genius because she created the AI engine and he just wrote the code to make it work. Later on, when Keys helps Millie get into the stash house, she calls him a genius and he tells her that as he’s currently sitting on a toilet stealing user code he doesn’t exactly feel like one. Millie responds offhandedly that he never does, but luckily, she knows better. When Keys realizes that Millie was right, and that Antwan did steal their code and their game worked he tells Millie they need to celebrate because once everyone sees their build she’ll be celebrated and she could win a noble prize. Both Millie and Keys are geniuses in their own right. The game wouldn’t have worked without both of their skills and Guy wouldn’t have come to life without both of them working together. Millie’s AI engine made his sentience possible, but Keys is the one who gave him hopes and dreams so that when he met Millie in the game, he came alive. When done right the settings we see tell the story just as much as the characters do and I love how realistic the settings in Free Guy look. The floor at Soonami Studios where Keys and Mouser work looks like a real office and I love that the desks have clutter and personal effects on them like real cubicles do and that they show Keys taking a box of his stuff with him as he leaves. The lobby with the moving water videos and Antwan’s massive but largely empty office fits perfectly with the obnoxious, zany, and over the top character that he is. I also love the contrast between Keys and Millie’s apartments and how those settings tell us a lot about each character and where they are in their lives when the film starts. When Keys comes home from work to find that Millie has broken in, we see that he lives in a stylish one bedroom apartment with an open concept kitchen full of stainless steel appliances, a large living room centred around an expensive wall mounted TV and entertainment system, with his computer and gaming station set up in the corner. On the walls we see artful clusters of black picture frames, through a partially open door we see a bedroom off to the side, the apartment is full of black and white furniture including a plush couch and nice lamps, and features a textured silver accent wall. All of which makes the fact that Millie managed to break in even more impressive because it is clearly an expensive apartment in a nice building. Keys’ style is minimalist and upper scale and based on what we learn about the events that took place before the start of the movie this indicates that Keys got the apartment and all of the nice stuff in it using the money he received when Antwan bought his and Millie’s game. In contrast, Millie lives in a bachelor apartment and spends her time in coffee shops ordering one single black coffee over four hours. This tells us that she kept her original apartment that she had from before the game was sold and is living off the money she got from the sale while she spends all of her time trying to find the proof she needs to win her lawsuit. When we see Millie’s place, we find that it’s cozy, full of plants, throw rugs, quilts, and comfy furniture. She’s got a bike in the corner, you can see her bed from the centre of the room where she’s got her computer and gaming station set up adjacent to the coffee table and the rest of the living room furniture. Her kitchen is smaller and full of wooden cabinets and her bathroom door has DIY multicoloured square panels on it. Keys and Millie’s apartments are very different and through these settings we see the contrast between where these characters are in their lives, their wealth, and their personal style. The song ‘Fantasy’ by Mariah Carey is featured heavily in the film and is guaranteed to get stuck in your head in the best way! Jodie Comer’s cover of it is amazing! It fits the moment where Guy makes it to the island that is Millie and Keys’ original build and shows it to the world perfectly. This movie made me appreciate Mariah Carey’s music in a whole new way and I can’t be the only way. After watching the movie, I went looking for the song on Apple Music, wound up listening to the Mariah Carey Essentials Playlist, and I’ve become obsessed. I knew some of her hits, but after listening to her music more I get why people love her so much. Her five octave vocal range is amazing, and her music is just so fun to listen to. The film has a really great soundtrack overall and I’ve had many of its song on repeat since I saw it. Something I really loved about this movie and the reveal at the end that Keys is in love with Millie and is desperate for her to notice, but she’s been oblivious the whole time is that they don’t do the supposedly nice nerdy guy whose really a jerk trope. So many movies do this where you have a nerdy male character whose unluckily love, looked over, or his love is unrequited, and we’re supposed to root for him because he’s a quote “nice guy”. But really, he’s not. He’s a jerk who feels slighted because a woman in his life doesn’t love him back or notice him and he feels as if she owes him something. The scene at Millie’s place where Millie tells Keys he looks cute when he brags, and Mouser encourages him to tell Millie how he feels is super frustrating to watch but it’s so important to Keys’ character. He asks Millie out for coffee and when she turns him down to jump back into the game, he doesn’t make a big deal about it even though Mouser wants him to. Instead he gets up and goes and gets her a coffee anyway. She goes to tell him her order, oblivious to the fact that he’s memorized it, he tells her he remembers, and goes to get the coffee anyway much to Mouser’s and the audience’s dismay. This is big because Keys clearly doesn’t want to be walking down the street by himself to get coffee. He wants to be getting coffee with Millie so that he can tell her how he feels to see if she might feel the same way, but when she turns him down he goes and gets the coffee anyway because he truly loves and cares about her and he values their friendship enough to put his own feelings aside and suffer in silence rather than lose her and what they’ve built. So, he takes the opportunity to get some air rather than continue to sit there in disappointment. Which is why he’s so confused when Millie runs after him and calls out to him from across the street. He doesn’t understand what she’s doing there. She turned down his offer to get a coffee and he already knows her order so why is she there? I love that they chose to make that scene non-verbal. I think if Millie had come out and made some big declaration of love it would have felt cheesy and overdone. But her running after him and silently communicating through her smile and body language that she understood and that she felt the same way was perfect. It was subtle and beautiful and perfectly acted. It also felt realistic to the characters because in real life when you’ve known someone a really long time and you’ve spent a lot of time with them you don’t always need words to convey what you mean. What Millie wanted to express in that scene was so big and so all-encompassing she couldn’t find the words to say everything that she wanted to say so she didn’t. She just stood there and smiled knowing that being the genius that he is he would understand. It’s like Keys says in their interview, words will fail you, but code never does. His coding worked and now she understands so rather than try and say it all and fail she just looks at him and smiles to show him that she finally gets it. She finally understands what he’s been trying to say to her all this time. And you can see the exact moment Keys realizes why she’s there. The moment where he goes from being confused as to what she wants to realizing that she saw the video and she knows how he feels and that she wouldn’t be standing there smiling at him like that if she didn’t feel the same way. When I watched the scene the first time around, I was anxiously clutching my nachos the entire time because when Keys ran towards her my immediate thought was, “Oh my god he’s gonna get hit by a car and they’re never gonna get to be together! Oh my god!” But then he didn’t get hit by a car and Millie ran out to meet him and for the first time in their relationship she met him halfway and they kissed and it was beautiful! I think because Free City had so much violence in it that’s where my mind went and I’m very glad they didn’t go that route. One of my only criticisms about the movie is that I wish they had stayed on Millie and Keys just a little bit longer. They kiss and embrace and then very quickly they cut to black. I wish they’d linger on that moment just a little bit longer because I love those characters so much and in the scene that follows where Guy and Buddy are reunited we see them hug and then walk away together to start their new lives and I wish we’d gotten just a bit more time with Millie and Keys. I also really loved the parallel between the different kinds of relationships within the movie and how platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. The reveal at the end about Guy being Keys’ creation and a love letter to Millie and her realizing she’s been loving Keys vicariously through Guy and them finally coming together and being on the same page is beautiful because from the very beginning the movie is full of clues, hints, and foreshadowing that all comes together at the end. Meanwhile, we see the friendship between Guy and Buddy and how important that friendship is to him because it’s something that he created on his own. His love for Millie is born out of the programming that Keys gave him, but his friendship with Buddy is something that Guy created all on his own of his own volition. Which is part of what makes Buddy’s death on the bridge so tragic. I cried when Buddy disappeared. Reynolds and Howery play their characters with such sincerity that his death pacts an emotional punch you don’t expect. I love that the security guards at Soonami are so moved by Buddy’s heroism and are so captivated by what’s happening with the live stream that Millie is able to sneak past them into the server room and stop Antwan from destroying what’s left of the game. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that during the final battle after Millie gets booted from the game and Guy has to fight Dude on his own the glasses he’s wearing are very similar to the ones Keys wears in the movie which I thought was a cool nod to Guy being Keys’ creation. This really is a movie in which you find something new every time you watch it. For instance, the second time around I noticed that the foreshadowing that Keys is in love with Millie, but she’s oblivious to it because she’s so focused on the game was really well done. In the video from the indie game conference that Millie plays for Keys at his apartment when asked by the interviewer about their chemistry Millie responds first and says that their friends, their relationship is completely platonic, and laughs off the idea that they have chemistry. In contrast Keys falters and is silent and then eventually says meekly that they’re just friends. Millie is looking ahead at the interviewer and to the side away from Keys as she’s laughing and so she doesn’t see Keys’ reaction. At the end of the apartment scene after Millie breaks in to ask Keys for his help, he tells Millie he cares about her and he almost says something else. It feels like he’s about to say, ‘I love you’ but then he catches himself and instead tells her that she needs to leave. When Keys visits Millie’s apartment to tell her that she was right and they’re sitting on the couch he reaches out and puts his hand on her knee and then snatches it back when he realizes he’s gotten too close. He wants so desperately to be closer to her and in his excitement, he gets closer than he normally would before realizing that putting his hand on her knee in that close proximity is not a platonic gesture. Millie is so caught up in the realization that Guy, the person she’s fallen in love with, is an AI and not a real person that she doesn’t notice. My heart broke for Keys in that scene as he realized that Millie had fallen for Guy and kissed him and was so upset about it and meanwhile, he was right in front of her desperate for her to see how much he cares. It must have just wrecked him to go home that night and realize that Guy was based on the lovelorn character he created and that Millie had fallen in love with his creation while at the same time being so oblivious to his real world affection for her. In the scene at Millie’s apartment after they’ve gotten the server from Antwan and Mouser encourages Keys to say something, I noticed on rewatch just how weak and meager Keys’ attempt to ask Millie out is. He stumbles his way through asking her to get a coffee and trails off at the end so it’s no wonder Millie doesn’t clue in that he’s trying to ask her out. And in Keys’ defence he sent her a whole video confessing his feelings for her and all of the little things he loves about her and then told her to watch it and he has no idea if she did or not. We the audience know that Millie only saw half of it, but Keys has no idea if she saw none of it, part of it, or all of it. He knows she got Guy to remember, but she’s also sending him mixed messages. One minute she’s saying he’s cute when he brags and the next, she’s turning him down for coffee to talk to Guy. From the outside it’s so obvious that Keys is in love with Millie, but she doesn’t see it because she’s always looking the other way, not paying attention, so caught up in the game, and too focused on their work to see what’s right in front of her. On rewatch one of the big things I noticed is that Keys is always on the edge of telling Millie how he really feels but he always stops himself because she brushes him or the idea off and because he’s scared of what will become of their work and their friendship if she doesn’t feel the same way. It’s a huge leap. If Millie doesn’t feel the same way it’s going to make their relationship incredibly awkward and could potentially destroy their partnership so Keys decides it’s better not to say anything or only hint at how he feels rather than run the risk of ruining everything. Something else I noticed on rewatch is that in the interview they give Keys says he thinks of himself as an author and that code is what gets him up in the morning and that he loves the ones and zeros of binary because words can fail you and let you down but code never does. At the end of the movie when Millie goes to talk to Guy in Free Life he tells her that he loves her and while he knows that’s his programming he’s realized that he’s a love letter to her and that somewhere out there in the real world is the author. Such a great callback. All in all, I can definitely say that Free Guy has been my favourite movie so far this year! Definitely my favourite movie of the summer. I went to see it twice in theatres and I’ve never done that for any other movie before. I’ll rewatch them at home sure, but I’ve never actually paid money to see something twice on my own. I’m very excited to see the sequel and my hope is that it will be just as good as the first. Until next time.

99 notes · View notes

dreaminpetals · 4 years

Note

aesop hcs w a reader whose a makeup artist? fem reader bls !!! ty !!

tysm for being the first request ;w;

⚰️ Aesop With a Makeup Artist S/O

♡ being an embalmer, he knew all about makeup for corpses. but not so much for the living - that's what interested him, how you two were like two sides of the same coin

♡ he viewed himself as the moon and you as the sun

♡ it wasn't love at first sight, but once his feelings started developing for you, there was no going back

♡ at first he wanted to observe you from afar, until he realized he couldn't stop staring

♡ you were an expert, he even learned some makeup tricks to use while embalming by surveying you during battle

♡ in his room he'd 100% plan out conversations he wanted to have with you.. poor guy just didn't know how to approach you

♡ he'd spend hours pacing around and daydreaming about you

♡ when he chose you as the surrogate during matches, he'd furiously blush as he recreated your features

♡ you were gorgeous, with or without makeup

♡ he'd spend so much time working on you that everyone would tell him to hurry up, but he took this very seriously. he didn't want to make a single error, he needed to capture your essence perfectly

♡ little did he know that you felt the same way

♡ you wanted to learn about embalming and there was even a part of you that wanted to do his makeup for him :p

♡ what brought you two together?

♡ jealousy

♡ aesop saw how well you clicked with the other survivors and didn't like it one bit, that should be him by your side

♡ he was shocked that he made the first move, but he didn't want to miss his chance. not when someone like you wound up in the same manor as him

♡ he approached you after a match together and asked you about makeup, his hands were clammy and he was stuttering but he needed to talk to you

♡ you were a little surprised, so far people only asked "can you do my makeup?" nobody wanted to know why you became a makeup artist or what your favourite part about the profession was

♡ he would let you ramble to him for hours

♡ aesop was an amazing listener

♡ it wasn't only because he struggled with speaking, you could tell he was genuinely curious about fake eyelashes and if they would fall off easily

♡ this lead to you two meeting up after matches over a cup of tea to chat

♡ it took a while for him to open up, but eventually he told you about his mother and jerry

♡ he trusted you

♡ you officially became a couple after you kissed him goodbye and he pulled you into a passionate kiss, it was so sudden as if a dam broke inside of him

♡ he seemed so calm & collected, how was he capable of nearly eating your face off???

♡ he was full of surprises

♡ and he was happy that he could have someone to open up to as well

♡ you were never once creeped out by him, from the very start you wanted to learn more about him and protect him from everything and everyone

♡ the way his features shrivelled up in disgust when you mentioned that you made small talk with clients made your heart swell, everyone in the manor was missing out on him

♡ now onto the coupley things

♡ he looked so handsome when you put him in makeup, and so adorable when you used face paint to turn him into a cartoonish skeleton

♡ his childhood was rough and he had to grow up fast, he couldn't ever explain how important it was to laugh and slow dance with you

♡ he loved teasing you, one of your eyebrow pencils would go missing and you'd hear him trying not to laugh when you asked if he saw it

♡ he'd probably think they were pencils used for writing tbh

♡ aesop's been so professional his whole life that it's unbelievable he'd enjoy playing with anything or anyone, but you guys love having lightsaber duels with brushes and drawing on each other while you sleep

♡ whenever you kissed him you'd leave huge lipstick stains on his face

♡ he'd be so flustered and he'd want to leave it on, but he knows how much he'd be teased

♡ someone like mary or michiko would see him with a huge smooch on his cheek and say "oh, young love" causing him to turn red

♡ he's enamoured with your hair and loves to brush it

♡ you smell perfect to him, from how many beauty products you use

♡ he'd be lying if he said he's never stolen one your shirts to sleep with.. it smelled so clean, so proper, just like you

♡ he's new to relationships so sometimes he does things that are a little strange but it's endearing, to know that he's trying for you

♡ once he licked you and you were like wtf

♡ he's also said you'd look beautiful in a coffin surrounded by yellow roses, but it's okay, that's his way of complimenting you

♡ aesop would never hurt you

♡ he gets jealous easily, he knows you'd never leave or cheat but he can't help comparing himself to the other guys in the manor when you chat with them

♡ he wishes he could be the only one to make you laugh sometimes

♡ when you hang out there's no pressure to speak

♡ you often find yourselves sitting in a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's presence

♡ he's very glad he had the guts to approach you that one day, because he's keeping you always and forever

♡ if anyone gets in between you two, he'll do a nice job of embalming them

♡ and that's a promise.

#aesop carl imagine #aesop carl x reader #idv x reader #identity v x reader #aesop carl #idv imagine #embalmer idv

176 notes · View notes

wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 3 years

Text

Psycho Analysis is a series that looks at villains across various media in the hopes of coming to something of a consensus on the overall quality of the character. Are they performed well? Do they enrich the narrative? Are their motives fleshed out? Are they voiced by Tim Curry and thus a sex icon?

There are a lot of important questions that I look into, but ultimately, Psycho Analysis boils down to asking one simple little question: How bad can a character be?

Thankfully, there’s one villain who decided to answer that question for me... in song form.

Psycho Analysis: The Once-ler

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Yeah, I’m finally talking about everyone’s favorite greedy bastard who, back in some of the darkest days of Tumblr history, ended up being the premier sexyman on the website. People were thirsting over this twiggy weirdo, acting as if he were God’s gift to women and shipping him with alternate versions of himself. Much like the movie he’s from, he is now incredibly hard to take seriously.

But hey, speaking of alternate versions of himself, I’m going to be covering him from the original book and the animated short film as well. Might as well just knock it all out of the park at once, right? Now let’s see how ba-a-a-ad this guy can be.

Motivation/Goals: The Once-ler is all about biggering. He’s making thneeds (things that everyone needs) and he is gonna stop at nothing to craft these things. Not even the power of the Lorax, Danny DeVito or otherwise, is going to stay his hand from getting that sweet, soft Truffula fluff to make his wares. This is ultimately a little unrealistic, at least for the Illumination version; if Danny DeVito asked me not to do something, I’d listen, no questions asked.

Performance: In the animated special, Bob Holt does double duty, as he is portraying both Once-ler and the title character. It works really well for what they’re going for, and the double casting is interesting because it highlights the ultimate role of the Lorax as the Once-ler’s conscience given form.

In the film, Ed Helms portrays the Once-ler, and he’s fine. He’s certainly better casting than Audrey, but that’s not particularly saying much considering that’s a non-singing Taylor Swift (when Cats is able to utilize Taylor Swift better than your musical, you know there’s trouble). I don’t know, Ed Helms is fun and all, but I’m just not sure his take on the Once-ler is all too compelling overall.

Final Fate: In the original book and the special, the Once-ler wins… but even he realizes it’s a terrible, pointless victory, and all he has achieved is ruin, his family leaving him, his business ultimately collapsing, and the environment permanently damaged. He’s left as a miserable, jaded hermit, broken by the bleak consequences his greedy actions have sown upon the world and only able to tell his story and pass on the last Truffula seed in the hopes that maybe, maybe someday the trees can regrow and the Lorax will return. The Illumination version follows this but then tacks on a happy ending where the Lorax and Once-ler reunite because as we know ambiguity and bittersweet endings cannot exist in children’s films.

Best Scene: Obviously it’s the scene where he shakes his ass to seduce Jack Frost, in one of the greatest gay romances ever put to film.

Joking aside, it is undoubtedly his villain song. It has become such a meme, but real talk? “How Bad Can I Be” slaps. This is a really good song, probably too good for the movie but you know what, I’ll take it.

youtube

Best Quote: HOW BA-A-A-AD CAN I BE? Yes, I’m using a line from his villain song. Sue me.

Final Thoughts & Score: What can one really say about the movie version of the Once-ler that hasn’t already been run into the ground? Well, how about… He’s not too bad, honestly? Like, yes, he has next to nothing to do with his book counterpart and they really go way too far into trying to make a capitalist pig sympathetic… but the animated special from the 70s did that too. I think the Once-ler honestly works better when there is a dash of complexity to him and he isn’t just a simple-minded Captain Planet villain.

Of course, the issue here is that the 70s version took a simpler approach, kind of less is more. The 70s Once-ler brings up some valid points to the Lorax about his work, and the Lorax can’t help but agree that there’s no easy answer while also stressing that the environmental devastation is still really, really bad. It works, it feels complex, and it arguably helps the ultimate point that we need to protect the environment better than even the book did (and I love the book, don’t get me wrong, but its take on the Once-ler is a bit too simple for its own good; it almost runs into the Femme Fatale problem by being a bit too much of a strawman). The movie version has a bit too much going on, especially with his family. His family are much more blatantly evil, greedy, and manipulative, but they’re relegated to the background for much of the film and don’t effect things all that much. The whole narrative would have been infinitely stronger if they were the greater scope villains behind Once-ler and were who needed to be defeated and maybe taught a lesson, but instead they are ignored in favor of someone I’ll address very shortly.

All of this leaves movie Once-ler feeling extremely disjointed, but not irredeemably so. As I said before, his villain song is unironically awesome, and as lame as it is compared to the more haunting, contemplative ending of the book and the special, I’m not so much of a curmudgeon that I didn’t at least smile when he finally reconciled with the Lorax. Ultimately though, him being memed to death really didn’t help his case, but it means I’m not giving the movie version anything less than a 3/10. He might in fact be the best “so bad it’s good” villain ever, or at least up there. He’s just so undeniably enjoyable even if the narrative isn’t making him as complex as it thinks it is. The animated special version gets a 9/10, the book version is a 7/10, and the Once-ler’s family gets a 5/10 for being an interesting concept they sadly do little with, which will now be elaborated on as I follow up on the foreshadowing from the last paragraph...

Psycho Analysis: Aloysius O’Hare

Remember how I said the Once-ler’s family gets ignored in favor of someone else? Here he is, Aloysius O’Hare, one of the absolute lamest villains ever put to screen.

Motivation/Goals: He’s greedy. That’s it. I’m not kidding. He’s just a cartoonish caricature of a rich person, which still makes him a realistic portayal but also makes him boring as sin compared to the wacky dude with a big musical number about how bad he can be.

Performance: Rob Riggle does a decent job, but there’s really not much for him to work with here. This character is a cardboard cutout who exists to be as cartoonishly greedy and evil as possible with no nuance so the kids know who to root against and so that Once-ler doesn’t look bad in comparison.

Final Fate: Look, he’s a blatantly evil corporate villain in a kid’s movie about the environment. Of course he gets defeated and everyone turns on him. What’s especially funny though is that, on the brink of learning his lesson, he rejects any form of redemption and just goes whole hog on being a villain.

Best Scene: I will absolutely give him this: in the face of his ultimate defeat, after having the virtues of trees sung to him and the entire town turning on him, he for a moment contemplates turning over a new leaf… and then absolutely rejects the thought and instead decides being evil is just too much fun, at which point he tries to get everyone back on his side by seeing a funny little song about death while wavedashing. If more shitty villains did this, I don’t think there would be shitty villains.

Best Quote: LET IT DIE, LET IT DIE, LET IT SHRIVEL UP AND DIE! Yes I’m quoting a song again.

Final Thoughts & Score: Look, I’m not gonna mine words here: O’Hare sucks. Big time. He is a prime example of why The Lorax failed as an adaptation. In a story that is dealing with a moral grayness with no easy answers, O’Hare is just a big, blatant target, a dark shade of black in terms of black-and-white morality. He’s like a reject Captain Planet villain with Edna Mode’s haircut.

The movie would have been infinitely better if, instead of him, the Once-ler’s family were in control of the town, and they needed to learn the lesson about saving the trees instead of simply vanishing from the story. They were shown to be overbearing, manipulative, and greedy, and they had a much more personal connection with Once-ler being, you know, his actual family. The fact they abandon him and never really get any sort of comeuppance despite being perhaps the most evil people in the move, egging on Once-ler and taking full advantage of him, makes O’Hare all the more egregious, because there could have been some strong thematic elements that would have tied the film together and made it come off as much less preachy and more nuanced.

But we don’t live in a world where that happened, we live in a world where we got O’Hare. Aside from some genuine hilarity from him at the end, O’Hare really adds very little to the film. I gotta give him a 2/10, but I will say he’s a lot closer to a 3 than he is to a 1; there’s no denying his absolute rejection of learning a moral is absolutely hilarious. I love when villains do that. It’s just a shame those funny moments are wrapped up in something monumentally unimpressive.

#Psycho Analysis #The Once-ler #The Lorax #Ed Helms #Aloysius O'Hare #Rob Riggle

37 notes · View notes

stina-is-a-punk-rocker · 4 years

Text

'birds of prey': a cinematic masterpiece

It's been a little over a year since Birds of Prey came out, a couple of months since I watched in on a whim, and I'm still not over this film.

Too many men people get pressed whenever you say you like this movie. "It's objectively bad," they say. "It's campy. It's too divergent from the canon. It's SJW propaganda."

Who gives a fuck, Richard? Who gives a single flying fuck?

I'll preface this by saying, my knowledge of the DCU is flimsy, at best. I've watched a couple of movies. My mum used to watch Smallville. I watched the pilot episode of Gotham. And I know enough about it to get the few references sprinkled in other media. But I draw a complete blank when it comes to the comics. So the canon of the comics had no effect on my enjoyment of the movie. Which I did. A lot.

I walked in blind when I watched Birds of Prey for the first time. I was unaware of the controversy surrounding it, and the only reason I even gave it the time of day was because I was bored.

I watched Suicide Squad circa 2016, and positively abhorred it- the only good thing about it was the soundtrack (the best songs are always wasted on the worst movies. Case in point: Twilight). And the not-so-casual misogyny was just... Yikes.

And then, we got Birds of Prey.

Since watching the film, I did a bit of research (see: Googling 'birds of prey movie reviews' and clicking on the first few results that popped up). The response was mixed- which honestly came as a surprise, since I thought it was great, and mine is the only opinion that holds weight.

I've read and watched a lot of those reviews. I watched the CinemaSins video. I watched the CinemaWins video, because CinemaSins has taken a major nosedive since I first started watching them.

Were all the negative reviews not-so-subtly indicative of the (predominantly male) critics' misogyny? I dunno; how did they talk about similar male-centered action films? I don't think it's fair to scream, "SEXIST!" just because someone didn't like the movie. Critics hated Venom (which was admittedly pretty meh. I still enjoyed it, though), but it was still pretty well-received by viewers.

I saw one review say that Birds of Prey was 'for the birds'... I'll let you unpack that yourself.

And yet, though I try to keep an open mind, I find it unfathomable how anyone can dislike Birds of Prey.

One of my favorite parts about the movie was the female gaze present throughout its entirety. I've seen people bring up the obvious change in Harley's costume- which I'm a bit iffy about, to be honest. Don't get me wrong- I love her choppy bangs and fun pigtails and the whole fluffy top thing she's got going on, but a whole lot of the critique towards her getup in Suicide Squad comes off a tad too slut-shamey (that isn't a word? Well, it is now).

Her outfit wasn't the issue. It's how she was framed.

In Suicide Squad, we get loads of shots of men leering at Harley, and a little too much emphasis on her breasts and arse in almost every scene she's in. As opposed to Birds of Prey, where Harley's still sexy (I'm seriously concerned for the straight men who found Harley unattractive in this film... You good, Pete?), but we focus on her face instead.

That part where Harley gives Canary a hair tie in the middle of a fight scene? Brilliant.

The characters have depth (a lot of reviews disagree with me. Well, what do I know? I am but a lowly STEM student). One of my favorites was Canary (and not just because I found her insanely attractive)- I love, love, love her arc in the film.

I've seen people complain that the villain didn't really get all villainy until towards the end of the film; which, if Sionis had to put on the mask for you to finally see him as the bad guy, then you've clearly missed most of the film. He's literally introduced while he's peeling the skin off of someone's face. Not to mention that one particular scene at the club- I won't go into too much detail, because it could be triggering to a lot of people- but it chilled me to the bone.

Following up with the villains: "All the men are bad guys," they say. "The whole film is feminist propaganda," they say.

And me posting this on International Women's Day is a bit on-the-nose, I'll admit, but this particular critique bothers me. Because those men aren't unrealistic. They aren't caricatures of men in the real world. We all know men just like them. A lot of them hit a little too close to home for me.

I've seen people complain that women touting the film as feminist turned them off from it- which, I dunno about you, but seems problematic to me on so many levels. Sure, not everything has to have a political agenda, but it's hardly like Harley & Co. scream, "GIRL POWER!" every three minutes.

(Also: it's funny how way more people get mad about poorly executed feminism than actual issues a lot of women in the world face, but that's a topic for another day.)

The diversity was just- wow. Getting not only one but FOUR Asian characters with lines? Hollywood, am I dreaming? The LGBTQ+ representation (not going into Sionis and Zsasz being queer coded)? Holy shit, yes! Maybe I'm getting too excited about this- Hollywood's a lot kinder to us minorities as of late- but it still fills me with joy whenever I see people like me onscreen.

Another complaint that springs up with regards to Birds of Prey is the skewed order in which Harley narrates the events. Which is kind of one of her defining traits- she's an unreliable narrator. And she makes it pretty obvious (this video explains it better than I can). The cartooned beginning was engaging, as corny as some of it was (loved the style, too).

The fight scenes were thrilling to watch. Not a single minute passed by where I was bored (my eyes usually glaze over during prolonged action scenes in films, which did not happen in this case). The comedy was well-timed and bold; the cartoonishness added to its charm.

And this is probably not even significant, but I adored the color scheme. I loved the bright, shocking colors; the emphasis on the pinks, reds and blacks.

And, finally, how could I go without mentioning the soundtrack? It was divine- I listen to the Birds of Prey album on Spotify almost every day; Lonely Gun and Experiment On Me are among my most-played songs, and the rest of the music is just as delightful.

In conclusion: go watch Birds of Prey if you haven't already. It's the closest thing to a spiritual experience I had last year.

#birds of prey #harley quinn #suicide squad #movie #movie review #dc comics #dcu #feminism #international womens day #women #action #margot robbie #joker #canary #huntress #feminist

28 notes · View notes

tinymiko · 4 years

Text

Coffee and cream

Henry Cavill/ thick woman

Rough sex, swearing, road rage, one night stand lots of swearing seriously I have a filthy mouth

So this is the first time sharing here and the first fic like this I've ever written be gentle. Also it's 4:50am and I'm doing this on my phone so formatting sucks.

Coffee and cream

Henry waited in line at the Starbucks half tempted to take off the ball cap and hoody in order to rush the service. Taking a look at the crowd he quickly changed his mind, his mother always said patience was a virtue. Besides getting his coffee 2 minutes earlier wouldn’t make up for the crowd of fans who would inevitably detain him for at least thirty minutes. He loved his fans was grateful for them but sometimes he wished he could grab a cup of coffee without getting mauled.

He scooted towards the rear wall hunching in on himself watching the people come through the doors enjoying watching people without them watching him. A rush of hot air blew in as the door opened again. A small woman walked in head down auburn curls swinging down to her back blocking his view of her face. He wasn’t sure why he wanted to see her face but he felt compelled to move forward eyes tracking her as she waited in line. She was striking pale skin dark eyes, long lashes. She had small lips that seemed to be perpetually smiling. Henry moved closer. Close enough that he got a whiff of her perfume,, she smelled like coconuts and he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at his lips. No heavy floral perfume or overly sweet vanilla for the little lady. Coconuts was strangely appropriate, exotic sweet like her smile.

He shook his head and backed up wondering just what it was about this woman that had struck him so. She was pretty no doubt but not the most beautiful he’d seen, hell not even the most beautiful in the Starbucks. She had drawn attention though, more than a few eyes followed her. It wasn’t just that she was tiny barely reaching his chest she was undoubtedly a woman, thick and full. There were no gentle slopes or subtle curves on her. No the little doll was like a mountain road, round and dangerous curves. The sharp dip of her waist almost cartoonish in comparison to the ample hips and the swell of creamy breast. She was built like a brick shit house.

Henry was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice he had moved so close to her until she bumped into him. Her little hands steadying herself on his abs and he felt his gut clench in desire at the heat of her brief touch.

“ I’m so sorry sir, I wasn’t watching where I was going.”

“No I apologize, I hadn’t realized I was so close to you. I was a bit impatient for my coffee I guess.” Henry took a deep breath when her brown eyes widened in recognition

“No worries it’s as much my fault as yours patience is a virtue I never possessed, especially not when coffee is involved. Besides it’s a hazard of being small sometimes people don’t see me down here.”

She smiled and then walked towards the pickup line grabbing a comically large Frappuccino. She walked back over to him handing him a grande caramel latte with Henry scrawled on the cup.

“I think this is you.” She told him an amused smirk on her face before she turned and walked away.

He stood for a moment just watching her go before chasing her out the door his long legs catching up to her quickly.

“ You know who I am?”

“ of course you’re huge dude plus a ball cap does not a disguise make.” The smirk was back on her face and Henry got the feeling she was laughing at him

“why didn’t you say anything?”

“ Because no one deserves to get attacked by fans before their first cup of coffee and you were practically crawling into your sweater trying to hide. Which is hard to do when you’re that big so kudos on that.”

Henry looked at her with disbelief before letting out a loud guffaw.

“Let me buy you a cup of coffee.”

“Already got one cutie besides I gotta go to work but enjoy your coffee. Also I loved you in the Witcher the wig really does it for you or does it for me however you want to take it.”

She climbed in a black SUV with a grunt that had him smilin, why did the smallest people drive the biggest cars.

“wait can I buy you dinner tonight. I'm in town for a few days training with Gracie.”

“The ju jitsu guy?” she asked.

“ yeah how’d you know?”

“I’m Puerto Rican we’re raised on boxing and MMA well that and dominoes. Anyways I really do have to go my boss is a hard ass and I’m already late.”

“wait, just can you call in. I don’t know anyone here and I’d really like to thank you for not outing me.”

Isabella took a deep breath. She was really trying not to freak out. Henry fucking Cavill was talking to her! Asking her to dinner her plain little Isabella Sanchez. Of course she had immediately recognized him, who wouldn’t. She had also recognized how hard he’d tried to blend into the walls and she felt sorry for him. How hard must it be for him to do anything without being mobbed. She was still trying to decide if it was worth hearing her boss's mouth when a group of girls came out of Starbucks. Unfortunately at that same moment Henry had taken off his cap to run his hands through his hair. The girls immediately squealed and rushed towards him. Not taking the time to think Isabella unlock the doors to her Suburban and yelled for him to get in. The car shook with the force of his body jumping in the passenger side and Isabella pulled the car in reverse tires squealing while she made an illegal turn onto the highway.

“ Wow thanks! I’ve never been actually been in a car chase.”

“that was hardly a car chase.” She said smiling

“Could have fooled me.” Henry muttered loudly.

“I could drive you back to the fangirls.”

“ no you’re a fantastic driver I didn’t fear for my life at all.”

Isabella snorted. So she had a lead foot she got him out of there before he could be molested by overly caffeinated fan girls.

“ I’m Isabella by the way.”

She held one hand towards him while quickly changing lanes and swerving around a slow driver.

“maybe you should keep both hands on the wheel.” He suggested with a dry chuckle. He was also not so discreetly putting on his seat belt. Isabella rolled her eyes. With his shoulders she wasn’t sure anything short of a head on collision would even jostle him.

20 minutes later they were pulling into his hotel and Henry had never been more glad to see a hotel in his life. The fact that the GPS has estimated their driving time at 40 minutes instead of the 20 minutes of near flying it took may have accounted for that. Isabella was sweet and funny and scary and the craziest driver he had ever had the displeasure of riding besides. He wasn’t sure how they had survived or how she hadn’t gotten arrested. She violated more laws than he had known existed cursing in English and Spanish at anyone that didn’t drive fast enough. So anyone driving the speed limit or below. He was a bit terrified of her, turned on to and he wasn’t sure what that said about him.

“ come up to the room well order room service besides I think I need some Dramamine”

“You can’t complain if you didn’t die that’s the rules .”

“I’m not sure I could complain if I did die.”

She snorted at his muttered words maybe she should have taken it easy on him but honestly she loved to drive loved the speed being higher than everyone else for once it was exhilarating. She followed him to his room half worried half horny and wondered if she should be more concerned. She didn’t usually follow strange men to their hotel rooms. He had looked so panicked when those girls spotted him she couldn’t just abandon him. She usually had good instincts about people and hers were saying he was a good person. of course her mind was telling her instincts she was thinking with her lady bits and well her lady bits weren’t thinking at all.

They ordered sandwiches and talked while they ate. Henry found himself telling her about his childhood about his love life or recent lack of and everything in between. Isabella was surprisingly easy to talk to. She wasn’t afraid to call him on his shit or to eat with gusto and he was glad. Hollywood and their and gluten free salads were getting old. He missed comfort foods and comfortable people. He laughed loudly as she told him about her uncle and father nearly getting into a fist fight over a game of dominoes how her aunt had forbidden the game since the “incident “ as everyone now called. Isabella called It hilarious and was still lamenting the lack of video footage of the two men dueling with canes while cursing up a storm. ( this actually happened)

It was nice really nice actually. He hadn’t felt so normal in years so when she stopped talking to take a drink he kissed her. Pulling her lush little body to him until she was straddling his lap. Her hips rocking against his hardness causing him to hiss.

He should stop he hadn’t meant to go this far but she felt so goddamn perfect in his arms. Squirming in his lap the heat of her cunt burning him through the jeans he was wearing. Fuck it he thought for once throwing caution to the wind. He wanted this wanted her. Isabella with her kind eyes and loud laughter her crazy road rage and gusto for life. It beckoned him a sirens call that he was lost to. He had spent years playing the game enjoying the fruits of fame. Had models and actresses all long limbed lithe all the same. Henry realized as he grabbed a handful of hips that it was like eating rice every day. It would keep you alive but was hardly living. Isabella this vibrant stranger was like a feast after years of famine.

His hands traveled her back down to cup the fullness of her ass. He pulled his mouth from hers to run his lips against her throat nipping at her jaw. She tasted like heaven sweet and salty and just fucking divine. Her fingers clawed at his back as ground herself harder against him he could feel her wet heat through the thin panties she wore. Her skirt uselessly rolled around her waist.

“Fuck Henry please”

Her pleas went straight to his cock and he ripped her blouse from her body tearing it in two leaving scraps hanging from her arms. Her nipples dusky rose and pebbled in his hand. He couldn’t help but suck one into his mouth before letting it go with a loud pop. She clenched her thighs and bucked her hips riding his Jean clad cock ferociously.

“You like little doll” he pulled the other nipple into his mouth sucking harder and she made little mewling noises. Dhe was going to be the death of him. He had known the second he had gotten into the car with her. He just hadn’t known she would ride him to death mewing like a kitten while fucking like the devil.

“more please harder"

Never one to deny a beautiful woman Henry pulled her still writhing body off him and tossed her bodily on the bed. She landed on the hard but he didn’t stop just ripped the rest of her clothes from her body. Before shoving his own off. Henry paused to look at her his gaze burning her body. The tattoo of a fiery heart on her hip the scar from an old belly piercing. Her glistening pussy just begging to be tasted. So he did he dived into the bed his weight making her bounce a bit. Spreading her legs he passed his tongue over her slit. She squirmed trying to close her legs but he held her thighs open scooting until she was trapped by his shoulders. Pinned beneath the massive girth of his muscular body. Every pass of his tongue sent a jolt between her legs. He plunged his tongue in and out of her sopping hole fucking her with his tongue. Isabella screamed it was too much his weight his smell his touch everything was too much and she thought she might die of pleasure. He thrust two fingers into her cunt twisting and turning them while his tongue lapped at her clit. Her stomach clenched and her back arched obscenely her breast jutting in the air and she convulsed the strength of her orgasm taking over her body. She shook with after shocks and Henry crawled up her body his face shiny with her slick.

Isabella felt her body tighten in response seconds before she was sure she was going to pass out but looking at his face covered in her juices his tongue darting out to catch errant drops. She was wet all over again. Pulling his face to hers she licked at the seam of his lips tasting herself. Her fingers ran through his curls and she tugged on them impatiently. In answer he plunged into his bulbous head stretching her to capacity. He stopped halfway her little cunt so tight that he was afraid he’d hurt her if he fully sheathed himself. Henry could feel the sweat dripping down his head a vein in his neck bulged with the effort to keep still. He wouldn’t hurt her not after she’d been so kind no matter how much he wanted to let go. To fuck her into the mattress.

“ Fuck your so goddammit tight. I can’t fuck, we’re going to have to go slow little doll or I might hurt you. ”

Isabella took a deep breath slammed her hips forward fully sheathing him. She was full so full she could swear he was going to tear her in two but she needed it, need his big cock to fuck her into the wall.

“don’t you hold back don’t you fucking hold back.”

Fuck was all he could think when the tiny woman slammed her body down on him. He pushed into her his big hands holding her hips in a bruising grip as he pulled out to the tip than slammed her body down his erection over and over. He had lost it. He knew he was holding her too tightly slamming her little body to strongly. The small part of his mind that still was coherent cursed his weakness even as he continued lifting her up before yanking her down his cock till finally he felt his balls tighten. He wanted to make it good for her though the absolutely filthy sounds of him gliding in and out of her soaked cunt made him think it already was good for her. He managed to capture one luscious tit in his mouth biting hard to keep it as she thrashed screaming a second release and he roared incoherently feeling his seed fill her up he couldn’t help the smug smirk before finally collapsing on the bed. He had enough presence of mind to make sure she landed on top of him so he wouldn’t crush her then fell asleep.

#henry cavill #fiction

28 notes · View notes

knjnvrland · 5 years

Text

Prank Wars - ch. 7

> pairing | jungkook x reader

> word count | 3.5k

> genre | college!au, fluff, smut, angst

> warnings | swearing, sexual innuendos.

> synopsis | College can be a stressful time in anyone’s life as it is, why don’t we throw a little prank war in the mix to make it harder?

> fic masterlist

> A/N | English is not my first language, I’m sorry for the eventual spelling mistake, please let me know if you find any!

CHAPTER 7 - Popcorn Stealer

It was only a week after that Jungkook’s plan came to fruition. With everyone having exams and finals, there wasn’t much hanging out in the days following the whole having-sex-in-the-heat-of-the-moment-with-you thing. But it all finally ended on a nice Thursday afternoon. The last of you who still had some sort of assignment were Jimin, Namjoon and you -you and your brother were on the same boat, having the same teacher for different lectures who was really into leaving things last minute. Jimin only had a paper left because he got so caught up helping Hoseok that he kinda forgot he had his own things to do. But at last, after class was over on that sunny but chilly afternoon, you were finally on winter brake. No one had the stamina to go out and party that night, and, as Jungkook himself suggested, you’d all meet up for brunch at Jin’s the next morning and have a chill day doing whatever.

What no one knew, however, was that Jungkook would wake up that Friday at the ass crack of dawn just to pull his prank on you. It wasn’t as if there was absolutely no contact between the two of you in the days that followed. You texted him a meme that same day, ashamed of how you handled the situation and trying to not make things awkward. It worked, you guessed, as the two of you communicated solely through facebook-mom kind of memes every day from then on. You also bumped into each other one night at your brother’s place, but if anyone noticed anything about how the two of you would avoid eye contact like two middle schoolers avoiding themselves on the school corridors after texting something risky, you didn’t know. That is, aside from the weird looks Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok still gave you whenever you acted normal around Jungkook, they were still getting used to the friendship thing, god forbids they find out what happened. It would break them.

You woke up later then you planned Friday morning, and could hear Alice already taking her shower. You checked the time and saw that twitter was blowing up with something, but had no time to snoop around a bit because your friends would be waiting for you in twenty minutes, so you got up and decided to skip showering and just get ready. Alice was out around the same time you were finishing brushing your hair, and traded places with you in the bathroom so you could wash your face and finish getting ready. You were both at the door surprisingly on time, and texted the group chat to let them know you were on the way. It was a short walk from the dorms to Jin’s cafe, and even if it looked like it would start pouring at any moment now, you decided to ditch the car and just take the stroll there, hoping one of the boys could give the both of you a lift if you needed it later.

It was nice to leave your heavy books and computer behind for the first time in weeks. You weren’t even carrying a purse! Everything you needed fitted in your coat’s pockets. You were happily thinking to yourself throughout the first five minutes of your walk when you first noticed the commotion.

“What's going on there?” You wondered, looking at a group of people surrounding some bushes on the sidewalk.

“Oh, didn’t you see? A bunch of clothes showed up all over campus this morning” Alice took out her phone to search the tweets and show you.

“That’s so random” you passed by the group and noticed on of the round bushes was wearing a grey sweater, while another one had a simple white shirt on “funny, I have a sweater like that"

“They think it’s some sort of art project, no one claimed it yet, though” Alice found what she was searching and turned her phone to you “This one’s the most popular”.

In the picture it was the big tree in front of the main humanities building, where you had most of your classes. The tree had no leafs anymore, as expected during winter, but from it there were a bunch, and I mean a bunch, of underwear hanging. All female clothing, you noticed. The piece of resistance, the focus of the photo, was a light yellow bra with two cartoonish bears on it, one on each side where the boobs were supposed to be. You took the phone from Alice and zoomed in. It couldn’t be.

“Hey, everything alright?” You stopped on your tracks and Alice took a second to realize, coming back to you when she noticed. You gave her the cellphone back and took a better look around. On every tree leading up the main path there were at least one piece of clothing. And in the small sections without trees, there would be bushes, benches and even some lamp posts all dressed in cute blouses, bras and pants. Your cute blouses, bras and pants.

“I’m going to kill him this time, I swear I will” You started to walk again, faster this time, and Alice had a hard time keeping up with you.

“Hey! What’s wrong?” Alice held your arm to slow you down, but it didn’t really work.

“This is my stuff, Al!” You didn’t even look at her “I knew I wasn’t going crazy, I’ve been noticing that my clothes have been disappearing” Her mouth hung wide open and it would be impressive how quickly she connected the dots were not for the ongoing theme of the semester being ‘Jeon Jungkook must be ended’.

“Oh he didn’t” she picked her pace by your side “I thought you guys were cool now!”

“So did I!” You lamented to yourself. All you wanted at this point was peace and a nice break, some good food, maybe a gift or two for Christmas… Instead you’d be spending your next weeks in jail, after trying and failing to commit the perfect crime. Knowing Jungkook as well as you did, you were sure he wouldn’t even let himself be killed alright. “I was so dumb! It began when he started to come over to do his laundry” you mourned to yourself “I should have guessed he had something to do with it.”

By then you were just a few steps away from the cafe entrance, and through the window you could see the boys all inside having a laugh. You bursted in first, and the whole table they were in went silent. Your older brothers smiled sheepishly at you, but Taehyung could barely hold in his laughter, biting on his knuckles to stop himself. You could notice Alice mouthing something to Yoongi and he responding only by a motion of his shoulders. Jimin hid his face behind Hoseok, and Hobi gave Jungkook a pat on the back. And sitting there, as if he owned the place, was him. He smiled triumphantly at you and again, it all happened so fast you would only remember what went down next when your friends retold you the story later.

Passing by your side at that exact moment was Rhina, this cute freshman Jin had hired to help out with the busiest hours of the cafe. She was carrying on her tray what looked like a frappuccino or some other sort of cold drink only someone mental would order at this time of year, but it worked perfectly. You took it and made your final few steps towards the table. Hoseok still had time to try and get out of the way, but the same could not be said about Jungkook who, in a matter of seconds, was head to toe covered in cold coffee, foam and tiny marshmallows. You turned around and left before anyone could do anything. You would regret it later, when your friends would tell you about the look on his face or about the fact that he slipped when he tried to get up and ended up dragging Jin along with him, making an even bigger mess. But then, all you wanted was to get away.

You were starting to trust him, and yes, Alice would remind you later that no one knew it was actually your clothes, and that the boys ended up spending the rest of their first day of break cleaning up the campus and searching for the pieces that had been stolen to return them to you, but you were a little bit hurt by the prank.

It was just a prank, you would try to remind yourself, but you didn’t feel like getting back at him this time. You just got back to your room, turned off your phone and curled up in bed to rewatch your favorite tv show and forget that the outside world even existed.

The next day, Alice and you had made plans to watch movies at Yoongi’s. She felt bad about what happened, even if deep down she felt you over reacted a bit, and Yoongi had this massive TV he used to produce his music and made for the best home cinema ever. Besides, there were a couple of films you really wanted to see, missing them while they were on the movies because you had to study. You were supposed to meet the couple there, but Alice had a few errands to run earlier, and you just made your way to Yoongi’s place because you were bored of staying in already.

You had the password to the front door of the building, memorizing it by how often you went there with Alice, and you were just waiting for the elevator when someone stopped beside you.

“Hey” of fucking course.

“I’m not talking to you” you responded, not bothering to look at him.

“You just did” you could hear the smile on his voice.

“Seriously, Jungkook, how old are you?” The elevator doors opened and you got in, hoping he would just let you ride alone. Tough luck.

“You can’t stay mad at me forever” he tickled your side and you took a step away, trying to mask how your body reacted to the touch.

“Just watch” you pressed the number to Yoongi’s floor and crossed your arms, getting as far away as possible.

“You have to admit it was funny” he leaned into the back of the elevator with his body turned to you “and you already had your revenge, we’re even”

“I wasn’t trying to get revenge and it wasn’t funny. I can’t login into any social media without seeing my underwear all over my timeline” you huffed. “and people can be really mean, you know?”

Jungkook looked taken back by your statement, but it didn’t last long, the smile returning to his face. “Well, what did you expect when you bought yourself mickey mouse panties?”

The doors opened at Yoongi’s floor and you stepped out, glad to know Jungkook's floor was a few above the older boy. “You know what? Fuck you.”

Before the doors closed you could still hear his “you already did!” and had to take a quick look around to make sure no one heard it. You sighted relieved when you noticed you were alone, and made your way to Yoongi’s apartment.

A few hours went by with you and Yoongi alone. Alice was running late and the both of you didn’t want to start the movies without her, so you just spent de afternoon watching music videos and some random clips on youtube. Yoongi also showed you what he has been working on. His graduation project revolved around composing an EP and putting together a small concert, it sounded fun but it was actually a lot of work, since he had to do not only the production of the songs, but also the organizing of the event and all the reports and data analysis of the feedback. He was in the final stages of his album, just finishing a couple of songs, and you were the only person, besides Alice, that was shown the entirety of the work.

He had a couple of songs with ‘special guests’, them being Namjoon and Hoseok in one of the tracks, and Jungkook in another one. You knew your brother could rap, and had been to a few competitions he was a part of growing up, but Hoseok was a nice surprise, specially when you noticed how different all of their styles were. And Jungkook was also something you didn’t expect. You noticed a few musical instruments when you visited his place, and you knew he helped Yoongi on the studio, but you always assumed it was related to technical production, not singing. You hated to admit how much you appreciated his voice, and felt awkward asking Yoongi to play that track again.

“That one is not really finished yet” He commented, pausing the next one that was about to begin “I know it sounds weird, there are a few bass lines I have to tweak and-“ he started to bite on the corners of his thumb nail, and you noticed he was actually really nervous about the whole thing.

“No dude, I’m asking because I liked it” his eyes light up at that and went bigger then you ever saw them.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, it’s my favorite so far” you smiled and scooted closer to the computer, to press the play on it again.

He went quiet immediately and you could feel he was studying your reaction, so you tried to come up with something smart to say. “I like the… guitars on it?” You knew it sounded more like a question then an affirmation, but Yoongi laughed nevertheless.

“There are no guitars on this song” ok, never mind. You hid your face in your hands and laughed alongside him, there was no point in denying that you knew nothing about music, that talent being spent entirely on your brothers.

“My bad. I really liked it though" you commented when the laughter died down.

“I was uncertain about asking Jungkook to be in it, but after last year’s bonfire festival I was convinced he could sing” he shook his head, reminiscent of a time you still weren’t around “he was always blabbering about his music skills to get girls but never actually owned up to it, and then he lost a bet with Jimin and had to perform and honestly, I had to make use of him somehow, he owned me for how many times I saved his ass…” he pondered for a while but continued “and I’m sure the fact that he’s in the track will bring some attention to the EP” you shoved him sideways and before you could ask more about that bonfire festival, someone knocked at the door.

Yoongi stood up to answer and in came Alice with, of course, Jungkook trailing behind.

“Look what the cat dragged in” Alice was carrying a bag full of groceries and pointed back at the younger boy, who was also carrying a few bags himself.

Yoongi gave them passage and took everything Jungkook was carrying, walking with Alice to the kitchen so they could put everything away. The boy stood awkwardly in the middle of the room and gave you a side smile, almost like an apology. You glared at him and turned to follow the other two, hoping they could keep you busy from looking at the intruder’s face.

“-and then I was just about to give up getting it when Jungkook showed up, so I invited him to come” Alice was finishing explaining to her boyfriend what went down on her day to keep her from coming early “I downloaded a few films, not sure what you wanted to see” she found a small pendrive in her purse and handed it to you. Finally, a task you could menage.

Yoongi and you had already set up the living room earlier, dragging his mattress to be on the floor in front of the couch and moving his giant TV out of his working desk and back to the part of the loft assigned as the living room where it was supposed to be. You were sitting on the mattress browsing Yoongi’s computer to see what were the film options, when you felt the place beside you being taken.

“What do you want?” You didn’t bother looking at him to ask.

“Can we be okay tonight?” You glared his way and saw him using the puppy eyes you were sure he learned from Taehyung.

“Are you for real?” You went back to your browsing.

“Yes, please, they have nothing to do with it, we don’t even have to talk, let’s just not, I don’t know, be us?” You looked at him again “you know what I mean! Let’s not argue, I won’t bother you, you don’t pretend you hate me-“ You opened your mouth to interrupt him but he went on “I said what I said! Let’s just be cool? Please?”

You rolled your eyes but honestly, you could take a break from the bickering and, as annoyed as you were with the existence of Jeon Jungkook, you could play nice for a night “fine, but don’t force it” he smiled big and stood up, running back to the kitchen to help your other friends, but not before turning around midway to, not only catch you staring, but also give you a wink. What an asshole.

Alice had downloaded quite a variety of movies, most of them you didn’t even recognize, but after checking with everyone a few times to find one that had not been seen by anyone, you set on a war film. Not your favorite but you could menage. Yoongi made popcorn and Alice filled a few big cups with your beverages and you were all set to go. Not even ten minutes in, Jungkook had managed to spill all his popcorn and scooted closer to you to steal from your bucket.

“For real?” You whispered to him, trying not to bother Alice and Yoongi sitting behind you on the sofa, cuddling under the blankets. He just grabbed a handful and shoved it all on his mouth, you heard Alice chuckle behind you and noticed she witnessed the whole thing but, instead of sticking with you as a best friend should, she just did the same with Yoongi’s bucket, but was not reprimanded at all.

“You should be more like Yoongi” Jungkook whispered back to you, still with food in his mouth. You grabbed more of you popcorn and shoved it to him, shutting him up again.

“And you should be quiet” there was no point fighting him, so you just got comfortable and tried to enjoy the film with him constantly stealing your food.

You were in your third movie of the night. After the war film you watched an animation, Alice’s pick, and now a drama was playing. You had seen that one already, but Jungkook was adamant in watching it so you just let him be. It was about halfway through and you were starting to feel sleepy. You were sitting shoulder to shoulder with Jungkook, not because of the popcorn anymore, but because he was supposedly cold and Yoongi only had two clean blankets, so you had to share. You started to scoot down, to lay more on the mattress and make yourself more comfortable. Jungkook noticed it and did the same. You looked at him, but he only motioned at the fabric covering the two of you, as if saying that you were dragging it with you and he wanted the warmth. The two of you adjusted to the new position and soon enough you were not capable of keeping your eyes open any longer.

Jungkook noticed you had fallen asleep and tried to drag from under you one of the cushions you had supporting your head, to make you more comfortable. You were already insufferable as it was, he was not excited to deal with you with neck pains. But in trying to do so, he ended up pulling both the pillows, and had to support your head with his hand, trying his hard not to wake you up. Before he could figure out how to put the pillow back in it’s place, however, you rearranged yourself to lay on his arm, and then scooted closer to lay on his shoulder. He had no way out of it if he didn’t want to wake you up, so he just let you be. Before he could turn his attention back to the movie, however, he sneaked a sniff of your hair. Chocolate and coconut, like a Barbie one of his cousins had when he was little. He turned back his attention to the movie but, as much as he was liking it, it wasn’t long before he too was knocked out.

Behind the two of you, Alice and Yoongi were still wide awake. Yoongi nudged Alice when he noticed Jungkook was starting to waver, and they witnessed when he laid his head on yours and fell asleep. They didn’t thought much of it, continuing with the movie unbothered, but soon after, when you turned to Jungkook and hugged his arm, and he, by reflex, scooted closer, the couple shared a knowing look between them.

> A/N | This is a shorter chapter, more like a filler tbh, because the next one is getting quite big, just wait for it ;) I was going to take a little longer to post, but I want to try and get chapter 8 up by the 21st (comeback day aaaaaaaa who else can barely hold on their excitement?) so there's that. It's a whole lot of fluff for now but if there's anyone eagerly awaiting for the angst: I promise it's coming reaaaal soon. Longer note, I guess I felt like talking today. Have a nice day, wherever and whoever you are :)

TAGLIST | @w1tchcraftt @girlwiththeglittereyeliner @teresaisla @nctssidehoe @kawaiimusiccollection @nininek12 @livewittykid @namjoonsslutakakoreanmanswhore @planhtarxhs

TAGLIST IS OPEN

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts x you #college!bts #university bts #smut #angst #fluff #college!au #university!au #prank wars

78 notes · View notes

tomas-adriah · 4 years

Text

did anyone else notice that hawks was a little...tame in the anime?

I just finished watching season 4 of the anime, and I couldn’t help but feel like the anime is a pale comparison of the manga, in terms of hawks’s character.

listen, I love hawks animated. its his facial features that I feel like was a little lacking.

hawks in the manga is animated (uh, was that a pun? idk); he’s expressive, almost to the point of cartoonish, and why he’s such a meme.

hawks in the anime? a bit subdued, despite the colors, despite the animation. I know he’s laid back, but he was very subdued; isn’t as expressive.

I know the anime tends to foreshadow stuff, dropping hints of what’s happening in the manga (they set up hawks differently in the anime then they did in the manga - in the manga, he was just kind of...dropped out of nowhere tbh). but I also can’t help but point out how disappointing it was to see hawks in the anime, lacking most of his expressive/funny expressions, because it makes him more less of a threat than he actually is...making his fighting against the nomus just more...badass.

kind of like the expression, “don’t judge a book by its cover.”

hawks embodies that clearly, and its because people don’t treat him seriously that makes him dangerous.

i’m also very tired, and I want to build this idea more, later on, but rn, i’m not sure if its just me, or what, but I wanted to know if anyone else may have felt the same way?? or have already covered it?

because i’d look at the anime (of what little there is of hawks anyways in the anime), then i’d look at the fanarts or the manga of the earlier chapters itself, and...its like looking at two different kind of hawks.

i’m interested as to how season 5 is going to depict hawks; however, i’m also like...scared, lol. listen, being in fandoms where adaptions, especially later-on adaptions of the source material, tends to go...downwards, lmao, makes me scared and weary of adaptions in general. I was skeptical of how they were going to adapt hawks, but I love his colorization, his voice actors (both English and Japanese), the animated hawks fight scenes are just OOF *chefs kiss*, it’s just...the expressions, omg. I know i’m being nitpicky, but listen, the manga panels of hawks is just priceless, and hawks expressions are good sources of laughter and ease, when there’s a lot of just...angst in general (I mean...we are dealing with a lot of heavy topics, so its understandable - yet to deal with heavy topics, we need a good breather every now and then - as seen with the cultural festival arc after omfg the overhaul arc). Hawks provides the ultimate breather and ease, just with his expression alone. he’s similar to the all might smile, putting people at ease; yet its also different because while all might’s smile is meant to calm and reassure, hawks is to ease up the tension, make you laugh, and also put your guard down. *COUGH*

afdja;fdkddl for now, i’m going to end it here, I have so much ideas, but yeah, please like let me know what you guys think? I can’t be the only one like feeling this right?

if not, well, excuse me while I -

#I dunno if this counts as meta whoops #meta analysis #meta analysis?#???#bnha hawks #slight-ish spoilers #inkzcloud rants as always #bnha anime #bnha manga #season 4 #season 4 spoilers #manga anime comparison #mha hawks #mha manga #mha anime

30 notes · View notes

starcourtsteves · 5 years

Text

The Aftermath

Request: After the Battle of Starcourt, Steve and the Henderson siblings go back to the Henderson house for a sleepover so Steve and the reader are catching up/finally relaxing in bed (she was with the Kids and Steve in the Russian base). Dustin eventually crashes in his sister’s room for mutual comfort.

Steve Harrington x Henderson!reader

Warnings: sweet Steve, a bit of scared Dustin, morning laughs

Officer Callahan rubbed his ear periodically, a remnant of Joyce Byers’ painful grip as she told him to take those kids home.

Those kids were now piled in his squad car — Steve in the passenger seat and you and Dustin in the back. The clamor of ambulance sirens and flashing lights in the Starcourt parking lot gave way to the occasional street lamp and sixties crooners on the radio. Every time a pothole made the car lurch reminded you of that godforsaken Russian elevator plummeting deep below the mall, but Steve’s gaze in the side mirror brought you back to ground level.

Dustin was nestled under your arm but determined to stay awake to give Callahan street-by-street directions.

“It’s on the right. Yeah, right here, don’t blow past it.”

“I got it, champ.”

The car hadn’t rolled to a full stop before the three of you were up and out, desperate for a sense of normalcy from the Henderson home. Steve’s hand found yours like clockwork and Dustin let you ruffle his hair as he fell in step toward the back porch light, that single bulb left on in case either of you ever came home late. Which was all the time.

Callahan cleared his throat loudly. “Harrington, you need a ride home?”

He was met with three judgemental stares. Steve held up his hand clasped with yours for emphasis, because apparently Callahan was the only person in Hawkins who hadn’t seen Steve constantly at your side.

“Alright, well don’t forget to tell Mrs. Henderson that you’re home safe. And she can call the police station in the morning if she has any questions.”

“We got it, champ,” Dustin quipped.

Steve muttered in disbelief, “Pretty sure it was us who fought the Russians. We don’t need babying.” His bruising eye twitched at the memory.

You and Dustin shared a look as the squad car pulled away.

“We’re not telling Mom anything till morning.”

“Obviously.”

Stillness and quiet enveloped you as soon as the door was shut. Chaotic Russians and flayed monsters were worlds away from carpeted floors and La-Z-Boys and it was tempting to lay down then and there.

Dustin snapped out of the trance first and headed for the bathroom.“Alright, I gotta get this grossness off of me.”

Steve didn’t even have to speak before you leaned into his waiting arms. You shifted after a moment, wrapping your arms tighter around him and breathing deeply into the hug. The two of you hadn’t had a second alone since the whole ordeal began, though Steve tried to make up for it by asking if you were okay dozens of times.

And he was still in that habit, apparently.

“You alright?

“Better now.”

Steve pulled back with a tired grin that grew wider when he saw a smear of blood on your cheek. “Whoops, let’s get that off of you.”

He brushed it away and you almost relaxed into the touch until you saw the blood again.

“Shit, we gotta get you cleaned up.”

“It doesn’t even hurt that bad anymore —“

“Shut up, Harrington.”

“Uh, okay, that hurt more than this does, Henderson.”

You swiveled back around, knowing you’d find that smirk on his face. Steve being playful was as constant as the rising sun and after a few days of having other things on your minds, you needed this. Needed to keep the mood normal and light.

You took him by the arm, giving a gentle squeeze that he couldn’t resist. “Steve, will you let me clean your face up?”

“I guess it’s not a bad idea.”

It took awhile because Steve’s wincing had you pausing with pity, but the white kitchen rag was soon dyed pink. You dampened a fresh one and held it out to him.

“I’ll let you take it from here, sailor. I don’t wanna press too hard.”

He fiddled with the knot on his uniform, a reminder that he was still wearing that ridiculous outfit, but the grin never left his face. Hopping down off the counter, he took the rag and used his other hand to tug you close.

“Hey, thanks.” The kiss was short and sweet but your nose still bumped a cut on his cheek. “Ow…”

“Yeah, there might not be much of that for awhile.”

“Ha, wrong. I’m not gonna let some stupid Russians stop me from kissing my girlfriend.”

Your head tilted endearingly as he stole another, more gentle kiss. A simple nod down the hallway led both of you to tiptoe toward your room and Steve closed the door with cartoonish caution. Your bed was barely made but you didn’t bother to move the covers before collapsing on it upside down, crossing your shoes over your pillows.

Steve followed suit, thumb automatically brushing over yours when he intertwined your fingers. A deep breath rocked his chest.

“I haven’t laid down in awhile without being tied to a chair.”

“They definitely weren’t the most accommodating hosts.”

A beat of silence. Another few breaths. You squeezed Steve’s hand with your eyes still glued to the ceiling.

“I was worried the whole time, you know. Didn’t show it around Dustin and Erica but then that stupid general guy took you away and...” You stopped before you could get too choked up. Shifting to your side, you gingerly touched a gash on Steve’s forehead. “God, they really did a number on you.”

He gave a wry smile. “Not the first bad guys to use a mouthy idiot as a punching bag.”

Your fingers idly brushed through his hair. “I just wish they wouldn’t use my mouthy idiot.”

“Better me than you or Robin.”

“Believe me, that isn’t how we felt.”

You winced at the memory of hearing his pained groans echoing down that metallic hall and leaned away again. Too far for Steve’s comfort.

“So I was wondering, is it sexist that they didn’t hit girls?”

Laughter peeled from both of you, just like he wanted. He knew you’d been scared just as bad as he was, but seeing you still upset made his chest ache. So he rolled toward you and basked in the smile that his silly question brought to your lips.

“Robin and I were debating that, actually,” you replied. “We haven’t decided yet.”

Quieting down after a few more giggles escaped, you kissed an unbruised spot on his cheek and snuggled down against his shoulder. As if you were just two young lovebirds hanging out on a Friday night. As if you hadn’t just defeated an interdimensional evil.

“Hey, I’m glad we’re home.”

“Me, too.”

Just when exhaustion threatened to drag both of you to sleep, there was a quiet knocking on your door that felt as loud as a train whistle. Steve froze and a dozen explanations raced through your mind, none of them plausible enough for your mother at the moment.

But it was Dustin’s voice that came from the hallway. “Are you guys naked?”

“Dude, seriously?” you groaned.

“Hey, I gotta make sure my innocent little eyes don’t see anything disgusting.”

“We’re fully clothed, Dustin,” Steve whisper-yelled. “Jesus.”

Dustin opened the door a sliver to peek in. Steve gestured to his uniform and gave your sleeve a tug for good measure before a satisfied Dustin finally stepped into the room. The Star Wars pajama shirt swallowing his frame made you smile. Some things never change. Thank god.

“What’s up?” you chirped.

“I just...uh, I wanted to make sure you guys were okay. With all the shit that happened, you know.” He got quieter and looked at the floor. “I’m sure it was scary.”

Your heart nearly cracked in two and Steve nodded when you glanced at him. Pushing a middle schooler to admit he was scared never worked so you had to take matters into your own hands. Literally.

“C’mere, Dusty.”

Steve chimed in and patted the bed between you. “Yeah, your sister here could use some comforting.”

Dustin sniffled and gratefully clambered over you to that middle spot. His wet curls were plastered on your arm but you didn’t care, not when you had your two favorite boys safe and sound. You smiled softly at Steve, sending a silent thank you for letting Dustin crash.

He beamed right back and you fell asleep to that sweet view.

…

By the next morning, shoes and bloodstained rags were carelessly tossed on the floor and your neck was cramping in a number of spots. As you lifted your head to stretch it out, you had to stifle a laugh at the heartwarming sight next to you.

Steve was splayed on his back and Dustin was curled into Steve’s chest, both occasionally snoring.

Tired muscles implored you to stand and stretch, which also gave you a better vantage point on the two sleeping forms. A particularly loud snore made Dustin stir and as soon as he got his bearings, he cried out and nearly shoved Steve off the bed.

“Gross! Get off me.”

Poor Steve jolted awake, eyes wide with terror. “Dude, what?!”

“You two sleeping beauties were cuddled up together,” you offered. “I wish I’d had a camera to capture it.”

Steve socked Dustin in the shoulder and followed with an accusatory finger. “Hey man, you’re the one who crawled in right there.”

“Yeah, because you gestured to that spot!”

“Boys, don’t worry, I’m not gonna ruin anyone’s reputation by tattling.”

“I was...ugh, right there with Steve frickin’ Harrington.” Dustin’s head fell into his hands, then snapped up to glare daggers at the culprit. “Pick the right Henderson to get cozy with next time!”

“Don’t think I won’t.”

Steve followed through with his declaration by marching over to you for a hug and dramatic kiss and you played along, laughing into it when Dustin gagged.

Just when more threats were gonna go flying, Claudia Henderson’s voice rang out down the hallway.

“Dusty? Where are you, honey?”

“Oh shit.”

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x henderson!reader #steve harrington imagine #stranger things imagine

331 notes · View notes

wormwoodmn · 4 years

Text

it’s been approximately five hours since the submit closed, i’m coming out of a bit of a coma, and i’ve FINALLY come to my final decisions regarding acceptances. not only was this time dedicated to choosing between apps in the same skeleton (which, trust me, you guys did not make it easy), but also dedicated to giving those i didn’t accept solid and objective reasons why they were rejected. after all the work you guys put into your apps, i owe you that much. if you weren’t accepted and want to know why, just hit me up and i’ll tell you !

on that same note, i want to thank you guys for applying, and for all the kind anons in my inbox. this has been a labor of love, but the work is just beginning.

speaking of the work, for those of you who were accepted, you have 24 hours from now to enter the discord server (if this link doesn’t work, lmk asap!) and introduce yourself so i can match you with your role, and 48 hours from now to get your intro into the server. if not, your spot will be re-opened.

dani ramirez as THE AMARANTH

dani’s harrowing story had me hooked from the very beginning, literally on the edge of my seat. not only that, but i can already tell dani is going to be an incredibly active character, an unstoppable force, and i’m so excited to see what becomes of her.

cameron lamb as THE BACKUP

we love a man who says “direct action”, truly. i love to see his motivation to expose the unjust continue throughout the application, all the way from the growth in his interest in hacking to his motivations for finding sam.

skip mun as THE BREADBASKET

skip delivers everything i expected of the breadbasket, and so much more. from being self-conscious of his lack of book smarts, to his accidental slide into becoming a drama kid, skip is fun, kind, and far more complex than i truly gave this skeleton credit for.

leigh hallewell as THE CHRYSALIS

again, animal handling was one of those skills i expected a muse to just be born with, but the fact that leigh actively nurtured this skill to combat her lack of human connection ? owie. i also love how a part of her tragic backstory bleeds into her need to find sam, to give him a voice, even if she’s not exactly noble herself.

emmet ericson as THE CLEAN SLATE

every time i read emmet’s application, it haunts me more and more, especially the line “she’s got to prove to someone, anyone, herself, that people are worth looking for.” i can’t wait for her to break my damn heart over and over and over again.

saaleha davis as THE EBULLIENT

just the fact that she was too much of a team player to excel in gymnastics is just... a fucking god tier interpretation of the ebullient skeleton. saaleha won my heart over easily, as she does with so many others, i’m sure, and i can’t wait to make her suffer see her thrive !!

cyrus blackwell as THE GAMBLER

cyrus is a fucking incredible mixture of both brashness and low self-esteem, and by the time he was being shuffled off to wormwood in shame, i was absolutely in love with him. at least to me, he’s too much heart and too much loneliness, and i can’t wait to see how he develops.

nigel giocondo-jones as THE GRIFTER

if you were to peek at my notes for this app, the first thing you’d notice are the words “THIS FUCKS”, underlined three times. nigel’s story had me reeling from the very beginning, and he is every bit as broken and devious as i could wish for him to be.

cain jacobs as THE HELLION

you had me at “loan sharks”. no but seriously, cain’s lifelong struggles and distrust of the justice system ( his shitty father being the chief of police ?? fucking oof ) makes him the perfect hellion. also the fact he was a loan shark’s foot soldier, that’s just... zoinks, is all i can say.

ava moore as THE INSIDER

ava’s app left me out of breath just reading it, but honestly, that’s the kind of energy i want from the insider. she comes across so airy and light, and the visual of her rollerskating away from a tough conversation while popping a lollipop in her mouth is truly the most insider thing i could think of.

natty darnell as THE LOVELACE

not only is natty kind of silly and just a little bit dramatic, she has some hidden depths to her that make her so much more intriguing. that fear of impermanence, the need to romanticize, and her almost cartoonish nature tie together so perfectly. i can’t wait to welcome her to wormwood!

joshua min as THE METALHEAD

josh embodies both the single-minded focus and the overwhelming practicality of the metalhead so fucking well. even just how he ended up going to wormwood is perfect. also, don’t worry; i’ll be adding an auto shop for josh shortly.

juno goulart as THE MISANTHROPE

juno captures the general alienation of the misanthrope skeleton so fucking well. everything from her penchant for numbers, to her distaste for rules and authority of all sorts. i also love how you went full kierkegaard and managed to weave questioning religion in with all the themes that make her up.

daniel molina as THE RHYTHM

empathy is one of those special skills i expected an applicant to say their muse was more or less born with, but the fact that daniel had to actually learn it after falling from such great heights is pretty incredible. i’m gonna love watching him grow.

adrianna deveaux as THE SABOTEUR

this one was, by far, the toughest decision i had to make, but in the end, adrianna just fit the skeleton so fucking perfectly. she pursued finance out of spite, she went to wormwood because she didn’t want to be just another number in the ivies, and the fact she heard about sam going missing and thought “finally, something fun” ??? she’s the worst, and i love her.

raf bensaïd as THE WISEACRE

this was one of the tougher choices i had to make, but raf’s own hubris leading to his downfall ? and his downfall being wormwood ? pure chef’s kiss. also his ambiguous but incredibly intense connection to sam... brittney spears vc yeah.

#accepted.#there is a 50/50 chance that i will crash after i post this #so if some of the notes are nonsensical.... its bc those are the last things i did fkjdsakjkjakjs #and my brain is a tad fried #bUT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR APPLYING MY HEART IS FULL

3 notes · View notes

s-j-ace · 4 years

Text

The Same Question

Chapter Two

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 2002

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief do what he does?

This is Chapter Two, find Chapter One Here

Read on AO3

Kokichi Ouma stood on the rooftop of the Silver Legacy Resort Casino in Reno Nevada laughing maniacally to no one in particular. At least, no one as of yet.

In his hand, he held a remote control for two of those… giant metal grabber arm machines. Except they were used for construction. (Named after a bird… CRANE. They were cranes.) Except for now when they were being used to rip two very expensive crystal chandeliers out of the lower levels of the building he was standing on. He felt the world shake as the cranes raised their arms in celebration of acting outside of their intended use, each holding up a chandelier like they were about to put earrings on the building he stood upon.

Seconds later, the rooftop access door burst open. Kokichi watched as detective Saihara walked into the light of the evening sky. He looked tired and a little disheveled just like how Kokichi remembered him, but when he turned to see Kokichi, still cackling away, something in his eyes changed. They became harder. More determined somehow.

The detective started walking toward him. "Stop right there!" He shouted like he was some sort of real-life action hero, and Kokichi felt excitement skyrocket within him.

"Uh-uh-uh." Kokichi tutted, feeling his glee slip onto the expression hidden by his mask. "I should be saying that to you, Detective. After all…" God this was good. Kokichi held up the remote control in his hands. "I could just… drop one of these chandeliers. I don’t need both. Just one press of a button is all it would take to shatter these babies on the pavement."

Saihara hesitated for a moment and his eyes glanced to the side of the building. Kokichi deduced from the movement that Saihara had been trying to see if there was anything down below the chandeliers that could get crushed. Kokichi knew it was nothing but some too-fancy cars, but Saihara decided his best bet was to stay where he was.

"What are you playing at?" His eyes were focused on Kokichi again.

The thief blinked innocently. "Who, me? I'm not playing at anything . I take my life very seriously, thank you very much." He gestured to the chandeliers. "I just need some help making a decision."

"A… decision?" The detective asked warily.

"Yup!” Kokichi felt like he needed this moment to last longer than he knew it was going to. “I need to take one of these chandeliers home with me to decorate our evil lair, but I accidentally took both! So I'll let you have one back if you help me decide."

He turned to the chandelier dangling on the left and hummed as if considering it. "Now I like this one because it's very sparkly. But this one…" he turned around and fiddled with the controller for the right chandelier so that the hundreds of tiny crystals would hit against one another. "Is more jangly."

Saihara looked like he was going to be sick as the chandelier clattered on.

"Well, frankly I think you shouldn't have either if this is how you're going to treat them…"

Oh... that's what Kokichi was hoping he'd say.

"Wow, I think you're right. If I really wanted a chandelier for the lair I wouldn’t treat it so roughly... You really are a smart one, Mr. Detective." He shrugged. "Guess I won't take either."

Kokichi watched Saihara's moment of realization morph into a look of subsequent regret as he pushed the button that released the cranes' grasps.

Kokichi was a little disappointed when the detective ran for the side of the building, as if the detective could do anything to stop a one-tonne chandelier from speeding hastily to a shattering death, instead of doing the sensible thing and chasing after him, the culprit. Although, as Kokichi began to make his escape he realized that Saihara was searching the ground below. His expression was familiar and Kokichi realized that it was the same look of concern he had witnessed on the detective’s face when he held his hand back on the plane.

Kokichi, forgetting about the fact he was in the middle of a high stake escape attempt, took a second to look down at his finger. The bandage was gone now. He’d thrown it away the day after in a weird mood. There was still a thin scab on it, a strange reminder of his physical existence. He remembered how careful Shuichi had been when he’d gotten hurt.

Kokichi felt his heartbeat crescendo suddenly, but the starting of the engine in the helicopter behind him drowned it out.

Oh yeah… He should… Get in that...

Was Saihara looking for casualties? Of course, there wouldn't be any. Kokichi had made sure of that. It was the number one rule of DICE, you know. No killing. Just because obviously killing people is bad. Not that Saihara knew that.

He supposed that was working to his advantage.

By the time the detective turned around to face him again, Kokichi was stepping into the escape chopper as Hearts sat inside flipping the switches needed to initiate takeoff.

When Saihara got to the end of the rooftop, Kokichi was hanging out from the side of the getaway chopper about a decameter over the building. Kokichi realized he was still laughing and stopped. The detective probably couldn’t hear him over the beating of the propeller, so there was no point to it. He settled into a billboard-style grin and looked down on the detective standing alone on the rooftop. Strangely enough, the expression on the detective's face had seemed to shift from surprise to calculation in the moment Kokichi had turned away. Suddenly his expression lit up and he turned around to run to the rooftop door.

“So he figured it out huh…” Kokichi muttered to himself as the detective disappeared from the rooftop. How smart of him to realize that Kokichi’s ploy was the distraction for this particular rendezvous with grand larceny.

“Did you see his face when I dropped the chandeliers?” He crooned to Hearts, not letting any concern over how the remaining members of DICE were fairing show in his demeanor.

“Yes, yes, I’m sure it was delicious,” She called to him over the sound of the propelling blades.

The thief resumed his cartoonish cackling, watching as the detective's silhouette grew further and further away.

“Hey!" Hearts called back again after they had gotten a good distance away from Saihara. "You might wanna tuck in there, boss, I think the american police are arriving with their cartoonishly militarized long distance weaponry.”

“Nah, I think I'll flap around in the wind a bit,” Kokichi joked as he hopped into the chopper and started forcing the hatch closed. “I’ve got that ‘becoming swiss cheese’ part of my bucket list to fill out.”

“Aww, boss you don’t have to do that.” Hearts was humoring him again. “You’re already a snack.”

“I know,” Kokichi managed to close up the side and it suddenly became a lot easier to hear everything inside the cockpit. He walked over to buckle into the co-pilot seat and shifted into a huge grin and a dramatic pose. “I’m simply scrumptious.”

“Yeah, sure ya are." She said without looking at him, eyes fixed on the skies ahead. "Where are we landing this thing again?”

“The car’s parked at that hospital we scoped out with the helipad. We just gotta land there and go through the vents.”

“Ugh, you and your vents.”

“They’re very efficient! Besides, you have no right to complain. You get to put on a disguise and walk around normal after the 4th floor. I gotta scrunch up and fit in the rolling cart.”

“And whose fault is that?”

He should probably keep this conversation going for 2 ½ minutes.

“God’s, he’s jealous of me.”

“No, I’m pretty sure it’s the guy who blew his cover by flirting with a detective.”

“Eh, same difference.”

"No, you can't be God. God is a lesbian."

"I never claimed to be God, just a being of equal if not greater power who took the old God’s place. Way to contribute to the bury your gays trope, Hearts."

She snorted. "Boss, you're a white boy in a clown mask. No offense, but if lesbian God saw you she'd smite on sight."

Kokichi could probably argue that he was an ambiguously pale Asian in a clown mask seeing as he was found in an alley in Japan, but he decided that wasn't what he wanted this conversation to be. "Then at least I'll finally be brought to justice."

“Being born a clown is one thing, but I think your real crime is your unnecessarily convoluted plans." She huffed. "Why can’t we just drop the chopper in the woods?”

Kokichi frowned. “Because we have to return it, remember?”

“Since when do we return things? Do you want us to return those massive remote control cranes we left back there?”

“Well of course not!” Although he felt rather indifferent on the matter, Kokichi shouted angrily and threw the remote he was still holding into the back of the chopper. “We stole those from that Togami Corp building. Their CEO makes like a billion dollars every day, he can come get his own damn cranes.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Hearts replied, barely responding to his outburst. “But it’s not like the hospital people wouldn’t be able to find the helicopter if we left it in the woods or something. Also, there’s less cops in the woods; which I would say is a plus.”

“Come on,” Kokichi huffed, going back and forth on whether or not to shift out of this persona or not. He went with the latter and smoothed out his tone a bit. “It’d be harder to close down the hospital for an investigation than it would be to secure the perimeter of the dinky forests they have out here.”

Hearts groaned. “Ugggh. Fine. I’ll crawl in the stupid vents.” She frowned down at her pristine white uniform. “The quarters in those stupid arcade machines better be enough for my dry cleaning bill.”

“This one’s not about the quarters Heartsie, it’s about the real gamer life.” Kokichi may have been raised by video games, but he wasn't as into playing them as Clubs was nowadays. He'd beat still anyone any time in a versus game though, because he was just that much of a pro gamer. Or maybe because he was kinda good at predicting what he'd be challenged to do and was also extremely good at memorizing gaming manuals.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever." Wow, Hearts was really out here oppressing gamers. "You’re the boss."

Kokichi made a face and decided he also wanted to oppress gamers. "Well, I mean, it was Clubs' choice."

"I know." She suddenly perked up a bit. "Hey, speaking of choices... The Museum of Egyptian Antiquities in Cairo is opening its last exhibit next week-"

"Hey!" Kokichi interrupted. He thought about covering her mouth, but then remembered that she was driving a helicopter that they were both in. He let his hands settle into a gesture of emphasis instead. "You can't pitch during the getaway! It's not fair to the salt of the earth folk that're still down there pilfering the seventies."

"Come ooon, Boss! My thing's got a time limit, and there’s this rug-"

"You know the rules." He scolded.

A timer went off in his brain.

Kokichi turned away, pulling out his phone to text the ground crew that Saihara was probably closing in on them around now. They’d probably have liked him to tell them earlier, but Kokichi wanted to keep them on their toes after a maddeningly easy break-in. As a bonus, sending them the text let him shun Hearts while she sulked.

This had been fun, he thought privately, more fun than most heists. Never a dull moment, it seemed, with the good detective around.

As he hit send, Kokichi wondered if Saihara would follow him to Cairo too.

#shuichi x kokichi #shuichi saihara #shuichi danganronpa #kokichi ouma #kokichi danganronpa #oumasai #fanfiction #Phantom Thief AU #danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa #I couldn't think of anything to warn for this chapter #writing

10 notes · View notes

0poole · 4 years

Text

The Thing about Furries

This is literally me thinking to myself and putting it online under the guise someone else might care enough to read it, so really there’s no actual point to this, feel free to ignore.

Also obviously I just gotta say people can do whatever the hell they want as long as it isn’t hurting someone else in some way. Also, this is pretty much exclusively about the character design aspects of furry-ism and not the IRL aspects anyways.

So my brother just introduced me to Beastars (even though I’ve known about it for a long time because internet) and after being super insanely into Animal Crossing and other junk, it feels like I have to piece together my thoughts about “furry” characters because it’s funky. Like, insanely funky. Everyone agrees that it’s funky too, which is weird. Usually some people are just making it funky for laughs/dismissiveness but no, here it’s pretty universally funky.

First of all, the definition for the purpose of talking about it. Let’s just say a “furry” character is an animal character with distinctly human traits and talks. For the sake of scope, since the term “funky” made me think of it, Donkey Kong is a furry character. Thumper from Bambi is a furry character. Obviously all the characters from Beastars, Animal Crossing (non-humans), Zootopia, and pretty much all Disney properties where the main character is an animal is a furry character all involve furry characters. One thing I won’t say is a furry character are animal sidekicks that don’t talk, even though they emote like human beings, like Moana’s pig or something. Pokemon aren’t either, outside of Mystery Dungeon stuff obviously. Anything can be turned into a furry character via fanart, but canonically, let’s just say they’re not. This is probably the funkiest part of furry-ness but yeah, I honestly think the one threshold that separates “furry” from “non-furry” is whether or not they talk. I don’t know what it is, it just feels like characters that talk cross the line. It’s basically a nonsense term that can be whatever you make it anyway so who cares, but that’s how I’ll be thinking about it. Also, I’ll never use the term “furry” in a derogatory sense. I’ve never really thought of it as being anything other than a descriptor, not anything with inherent goodness or badness to it, like calling someone a “construction worker” or something. Also “scalies” are just “furries” under another name. Reptiles are still furry as far as I care.

So the age-old question, am I a “furry?” Honestly I think I’m not, because even though I do obviously like furry characters, it’s not like a super big part of my likes. I basically just like good character design and appealing characters, some of which are furry. If I became a “furry” just for that, millions of other people would then become “furry,” basically making the term useless.

Doesn’t really matter though, I just wanna talk about furry character design, because it’s a seriously mixed bag. It’s like a bag filled with lettuce, marbles, and volcanic rock. That’s probably the reason why so many people are into it, since it gives characters a relatable anchor (animals) but can shoot them off in so many different directions that there’s inevitably something for everyone. You can either choose to make them basically humans with animal heads, like in Beastars, super magical and cute like in My Little Pony, or… whatever’s going on with Sonic characters.

I feel like the over-under of “good” furry character design is tweaking the biology of the animal in question without straying too far, and if you do go far, then it’s either relevant to the story of the character or just a thing with all furry characters in the world. For example, horses aren’t pink. But, in My Little Pony, they are, because horses can be any color, and so on. And, ya know, apart from that, just the usual character design stuff, like good color use and whatnot. Frankly the stuff I hate most about “bad” furry design is just “bad” character design, and not really relevant to the furry-ness of the character. It’s just cherry-picked correlation, not actual causation. Human characters can be just as bad as furry characters, there’s just a lot less to change in humans, so some people think the openness of furry design causes bad design when there’s just a lot more left up to the creator.

To be honest I think the pinnacle of furry character design is Zootopia. I feel like one of the big things people like to do is associate people/character traits with animals, like thinking someone’s a weasel for being super cunning and witty, or if someone’s a lion for being super powerful-feeling and proud. Zootopia, I think, manages to not only represent that in the structure and stature of its characters, but really implant a human face on to an animal. When you look at a Zootopia character, you can almost see someone you know in that face. Maybe that’s just standard in most cases, but it feels really present here. As for the character traits of animals, obviously it’s kinda rich pointing that stuff out in a story explicitly going against all that, but in terms of visual design I think we should think of the associated traits of an animal and pair that with their actual biology to an extent. For example, the ungulate characters have pretty thick bodies with thin legs with really pronounced knees. You know, like ungulates. They don’t have human proportions because they’re basically just animals with the stature and culture of humans. I think Nick is one of the big examples of a really easy and good trait to have in furry characters, that being having pretty short legs relative to a long body.

Humans have really, really long legs compared to everything else. That’s why no one walks on all fours on the soles of their feet, because our arms are so much smaller than our legs, meaning we have to shuffle along on our knees. Animal legs are different. Also, just basic things like size difference and such are basically a given. Rabbits are small. Water buffalo are big. Shrews are even smaller than rabbits. For the most part, you shouldn’t stray too far from basic size differences. Obviously Nick probably would be a bit taller than he is in that case, but since he’s a protagonist he kinda gets a more limited pallet for the sake of wider appeal.

Also, one of the big things about Zootopia that really makes it the best is how society adapts to different biologies. Zootopia itself is so goddamn colorful and diverse, because even the most diverse cities in the real world are only gathering up people of different skin colors, ethnicities, locations, etc. Zootopia has to account for so many different biologies, and the designers really didn’t limit themselves there. Even little things like food stands having a little elevator to get drinks up to giraffe-height really make the world. Obviously they would separate the different biomes, but each biome still having bizarre little bits of technologies in it makes it amazing.

So with that all said, I must hate Beastars, right? I mean, they’re just humans with fur and animal heads. Well, I’m just as surprised as you are, because I actually kinda didn’t mind it as much as I thought. Obviously I’d take a Zootopia over a Beastars any day, but it wasn’t really that bad for character design purposes. Other critiques aside. I mean, the one big thing of size difference is still there, so it doesn’t feel completely lost that these are all animals with different biologies. Plus, I think the big thing is that their animal parts are still very animalistic, and not the usual “furry” design liberties, and that they at least extend well downward into their human parts. For example, in the first episode, that one parrot girl really caught my eye because she still looked like a parrot. What we could see of her arm still looked parrot-like. But, then, what about everyone else who basically is just a furry human with an animal head?

One of the big, BIG things that turns me off with most furry media is how serious things are. They’re talking animals, Jim. I get you want them to have a super edgy backstory with tons of death and trauma but they’re animals. My brain can’t just shake that thought, and since a lot of my least favorite stuff is super edgy and etc I just get turned off to the idea. Movies like Zootopia fix that by being like “Haha, talking animals am I right guys? Oh by the way there’s a government-funded drug cartel trying to frame carnivores as monsters in order for herbivores to rise above them in power.” If the makers toy with the idea of talking animals being funny/cute/fantastical/etc, then they can implant the serious seeds that make a good story. Things like the Warrior Cats series (my sister’s brand) don’t feel like they strike that chord before they go on to tell a super serious story, so I get lost in the mess (Or at least that’s how fan works seem to go, I’ll probably never read the original books, let’s be real. If they’re not like that then just imagine that as being a critique of fan works). So, what about Beastars? I feel like making the animals so human is absolutely necessary in telling their serious story. Plus, since the animal parts are so much like actual animals, it feels much more like “this is a character represented by an animal” instead of “this is a talking animal” sort of thing. By not making things so cartoonish, they can tell a less cartoonish story. I’m still not super into it but it does work. I’m into cartoons as a whole tho, so I’ll always take cartoons over basically anything else.

Now, I want to talk about hands. Choosing whether to give a furry character hands is the turning point in design philosophy. Obviously mammals are probably going to have hands no matter what, because we associate most with them, and they kinda-sorta have fingers, but what about fish? Finding Nemo characters… sort of have hands? They will definitely try to pick things up as much as possible (i.e. Marlin caressing Nemo’s egg) but they don’t actually “grab” things. But, sure, their fins can feel like hands to a human because they’re sorta-kinda in the same location.

What about wings? Guardians of Ga'hoole has probably the greatest furry bird character design of all time. I HATE it when character designers try to turn feathers into fingers. Probably exclusively because of this movie, but still. I can’t praise this movie enough for sticking to its guns in not only keeping an owl’s actual claws as its hands, and wings only staying something secondary for gestures and stuff, but also for designing WEAPONS for OWLS. Again, they are talking animals, but like… They transcended the thought of it being funny and cute and instead led us into thinking they’re totally badass, because, let’s be honest, birds are probably the most badass of all animals. They fly, have sharp hunting skills, a piercing gaze… and, ya know, are descendents of dinosaurs. They can even be super cute if need be. Did I mention they can fly? That’s like their main thing that mostly only they can do. Not sure if you’ve heard, but flying’s pretty cool. But, yeah, whatever, keeping a bird’s hands to its claws is basically necessary I’d say, unless you want to go the Sonic route and not even give them wings in the first place.

What about something that doesn’t even have limbs? Snakes are even more bonkers than birds. If an alien came to Earth and the first thing they saw was a snake slithering around they’d probably pack up and leave because their petty minds weren’t vast enough to imagine a thing moving so elegantly and so, like clandestine-ly? Like, just by looking at them, you really can’t imagine how the hell they move. Anyways, this is starting to turn into me gushing about animals… We all have seen that one tweet of that one rattlesnake character from Rango being called one of the coolest character designs, and by golly they’re totally right. Snakes are a place for character designers to flex their imaginary muscles because of how weird they are. What if we get a snake, but… instead of a rattle (which is already a crazy biological feature let’s be real) let’s give him a prosthetic GATLING GUN instead. And also like a gigantic-rimmed hat. That is unreasonably cool. Again, snakes are badass, so instead of having to convince us that it’s all fun and games they can very easily be like “Don’t mess with that guy, he’s a snake” and pull out some seriousness from that. But, as the internet will surely convince you, snakes are also weirdly cute sometimes. Sometimes so cute you have a crisis of faith. Back to Ga'hoole, the nursery mother snake character there might just be one of the cutest snake characters ever. I still hold true that adults can be as cute as children/young people in the right circumstances, and she is a prime example of that. Also, can we just talk about Viper from Kung Fu Panda? Good God, what a character. I can imagine the board meeting: “Okay so we want a lovable cast of characters that do Kung Fu. We got the main Panda, a Tiger, a Crane, a Snake, a Praying Mantis, a…” “Wait, a SNAKE? How the hell are we supposed to make a snake do Kung Fu?” and then they fucking NAILED it. Not only is she a total cutie pie, but she has some of the best design direction of that entire, amazing franchise. Really, AAA western animation studio furry design is almost always killer.

Now I want to talk about Sonic the Hedgehog. Sonic is easily the Chaotic Evil of furry character design. What the fuck even are they? Imagine starting up a video game company and hearing this one guy come up to you like “I’ve got this game about a blue hedgehog with super speed and one weird inter-connected eyeball and gloves and he collects golden rings and turns Super Saiyan if he picks gets some magical gems” and suddenly he becomes the face of your entire company. I have no idea where all that came from. But, guess what? I still love it. I have no idea why, but it’s great. I mean, even apart from the usual things people say about him, like having a good silhouette and junk. Maybe he’s just been so ingrained in our society that it’s basically Stockholm syndrome, but I do like Sonic characters. I think the only issue I have with the character designs is that some are a little too similar in the face/body (I think Espio and Charmy should look a little stranger imo), but for the most part they’re great. It’s even really refreshing when you do get some character that strays from the normal body type, like Big the Cat, Vector, or that one grey hawk guy from Sonic Riders. My favorite of the games is Cream and Cheese, mainly because she’s a cute rabbit with a Chao (the best part of the Sonic franchise hands-down) but I think the “best” from all forms of media is Tangle from the comics. She has the necessary gumption and sportiness you’d expect from a sonic character, while still looking interesting, but not looking too out of left-field, and also having a super iconic and relevant trait (a giant, fluffy tail. Gotta love those) that has a unique use. One day they will make a game using the comic characters and that day shall be a glorious day. I seriously think the art of the comics is amazing, even though I haven’t actually read much of it myself. I’d definitely give it a shot if given the chance though.

Although, you really can’t talk about furry characters without mentioning porn at least a little bit. At this point it kinda forgoes design and is just a personal preference sort of thing, as you’d probably expect. Porn’s like that. But really, for me, I think any kind of non-human genitalia is actually disgusting. Literally, any excuse to put human dicks on something is a good one. I’m not gonna go into detail, but wouldn'tcha believe some people genuinely are into the idea of having large, human-sized breasts in the same areas as a normal animal’s nipples, i.e. around their hind legs? I mean, anything’s possible, but it’s just… yeah… No. I don’t even want to talk about the various shapes of animal “anatomy.” It’s not fun, and the less I have to think about it the better I am. Obviously if a character’s human enough it’s fine, but I just can’t stand the biology of some of it. Like, how would you fuck a snake? How do they even do it in the first place? My brain just doesn’t conceive of it, and as such it’s not in my purview. But, one things for sure, you are NOT a zoophile for liking furry porn (even if the characters in question don’t stand up on two legs). That’s an entirely different beast, and it’d be nice if people stop pretending like it’s at all relevant here.

The last thing that’s sort of a preferential thing for me is toe beans. I just can’t stand them. It’s like one step below nauseating for me, and I have no idea why. It makes it infinitely harder to enjoy furry stuff because of it, because it seems people are universally for them, both in a weirdly pornographic sense, and in just a cuteness sense. Even the cutest possible depictions of toe beans still make me want to shrivel up inside. Maybe that’s why I like rabbits so much… They’re too fluffy to show them, whether or not they actually have them in the first place.

But yeah, furries. Of course I have a fursona. He’s been in the works for ages because I never feel like I can get him exactly right. Chances are he’ll break off into a separate character like my last attempt.

#furry #furries #rant #rambling #opinion #character design #zootopia #beastars #sonic the hedgehog #poole #guardians of gahoole

10 notes · View notes