#sexuality - and i just think their friendship is so interesting because of how similar but also different they are

[herestoburiedsecrets]

I love the idea of it being maybe a couple of days after the Captain has died, and he has gotten over the intense initial shock of being dead and the subsequent freak out that follows it, and he has reverted back to just being ‘the Captain’ and trying to make some order of his existence and keep himself busy, and presenting himself to the other ghosts as a ranking officer and their leader, and he has a little speech, and one of the ghosts makes a remark about some weird or wacky thing that they did or do, or suggests something unusual, and Cap is immediately horrified and just exclaims ‘but that’s not proper behaviour!’, and all the other ghosts just scoff a bit or kind of ignore him, but Fanny gives an approving noise and says ‘quite right, Captain!’, and basically them just becoming quite close quite quickly due to their love of rules and order and ‘proper’ behaviour.

Just Fanny finally finding another ghost who understands her and agrees with her and her constant adherence to the strict rules she was forced to follow when she was alive, and the Captain finding in Fanny a person who understands and appreciates his need to maintain his status as Captain and find a sense of order within the madness.

[letteredlettered]

Hi Im sure you answered this already but i sadly cant find it: how did end up shipping or rather writing drarry fics?

I've actually been asked quite a few times why I ship H/D. I never answer, because it's complicated and long and I have an essay on the subject, so I'll answer the 'how' question without addressing the 'why'.

Once upon a time, the internet was becoming a thing that people used regularly. The news kept talking about how the youths of the day were "surfing the 'net" and this was going to be the new normal. As usual, I could not identify with the 'youths of the day,' even though I was one. What could possibly be of interest to me on the internet? Reading books was far better than talking to other people. Then one day in my senior year of high school it dawned on me that you could possibly talk to other people about books, something I had never done before, as I didn't know anyone but my parents and brothers who ever read for fun, and my parents and brothers did not like to read things like Jane Austen. What if there were people on the 'net who liked Jane Austen??? Seemed fake, but I gave it a try.

The first Jane Austen website I found was Republic of Pemberley, which hosted something they called "Bits of Ivory." Through the "Ramble" board on Republic of Pemberley, I found out that there were "Bits of Ivory" elsewhere. It was called fanfic and hosted on fanfic.net.

Almost all of it that I was introduced to was Harry Potter fic, as HP was the megafandom of the time, and my Sense and Sensibility friend was obsessed with Snape, mainly because of Alan Rickman. I was also obsessed with Snape, though I must say that even though I had been obsessed with Alan Rickman since 1995, I never did like his casting as Snape and still don't. Anyway, I ended up getting interested in Snape/Hermione fic, and continued to be interested on and off for over the next five years.

I should pause at this moment to say that I had been writing fanfic since the fourth grade. I didn't know it was called fic. I didn't know other people did it. It never occurred to me to share it. When I found "Bits of Ivory" it actually took me a while to process that the stories there were in a similar vein to the stories I had been writing all my life, stories based on fiction by other people. It was just so wild to me that anyone would share that stuff, as though other people would want to read the different endings that they came up with, the self-inserts and the cross-overs they came up with.

I should also take this moment to say that I didn't really have slash ships. I was aware that slash existed, and I thought it was great. Sirius/Remus was a background ship everywhere at the time, and even though I didn't really see it in canon and wasn't terribly interested in it, I thought it was a nice thing. And when I started getting into X-Men through Wolverine/Rogue, it seemed obvious to me that Professor X and Magneto had a past sexual relationship. I, in fact, had an original story that I'd started writing in eleventh grade that had similar tension between two male characters, and the idea that they were in love and unable to have sex about it explained so much. And I wrote more original stories in college that were gay.

I think my problem was that the canons I was consuming were quite straight, and while I wasn't obsessed with writing canon-compliant fics, I was (and still am, to some extent) obsessed with writing characters who were true to canon. At the time sexuality seemed some kind of immutable thing to me that was deeply a part of who a character was. Also, sex to me was very Other; it meant something really deep and serious about you that obliterated other things you were. For instance, I was frustrated with all the Frodo/Sam porn, because I felt it obliterated their beautiful friendship and made their relationship about sex and being gay rather than the deep pure bond of friendship. So I was maybe kind of homophobic and confused.

Then I fell in love with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and while that canon has a lot of heteronormativity, it not only has a character who thought she was straight who realizes she's gay, it also has vampires who have lived for centuries and who have broken every kind of social norm that exists. It seemed silly to me to assume that Spike or Angel were straight, which is how I began shipping Spike/Angel, which is how I got absolutely obsessed with slash. It was so liberating to write porn where the power dynamic wasn't influenced by centuries of patriarchy! It was so liberating to write porn where I didn't have to think about my own anatomy or gender or position in a sexual dynamic! It was so liberating to write porn with a bunch of dicks!

Having discovered slash, I turned back to ye olde faithful fandom, which had ten billion fics about everything. I'm not sure I even tried Sirius/Remus, because I was still so uninterested in it, but now I read all the Snape slash, the majority of which seemed to be Harry/Snape. The thing is, I don't ship Harry/Snape. It can be very hot! But while the porn is fine and some of the stories are fun, these are not two people that I want to live happily ever after. I just think that the power dynamic between them, the history they have, and the personalities they are do not make me want to imagine them as a couple with a happy marriage who occasionally have the friends over for games of Quidditch and Exploding Snap. And while I like queer complicated, angsty stories, I also like a happy ending in a semi-heteronormative sense, especially for Harry Potter, who really seems to want one. So, I started looking for other Harry Potter slash.

I knew that Harry/Draco was a juggernaut pairing, but I just hated Draco Malfoy so much. I honestly could not stand him. I used to go about saying that I hated him not only as a person (like, I also hated Snape as a person; he's a dick, and he's cruel to children! But he's a great character) but as a character. I just didn't like the function he played in the narrative. I like big, dramatic rivalries and evil vs good; meanwhile, Draco Malfoy is a little worm. So I kept thinking about reading HP slash, but resisting.

Then, one day, I was sleeping on the couch, and woke up suddenly with the idea that Draco Malfoy could be reformed. He could be sorry for all the shitty things he's done! He could be really apologetic! He could be really trying to make up for his past, and Harry could find this truly beautiful, and they could have sex about it!

Surprisingly, it was hard to find fic about this. For some reason, in most of the fic, it was Harry having to earn Malfoy's approval, instead of the other way around, which I found absolutely bonkers. But I eventually found Eclipse, by Mijan, which was just what I wanted. Then I was obsessed and was reading every Harry/Draco fic I could find.

Eventually, I even read the ones in which Harry was a cad and Draco Malfoy was a perfect snowflake who never did anything wrong. And then I started finding fics that really emphasized that Draco had a very different point of view of what happened, which showed that he really had no way to understand who Harry was, or what Harry had been through. In these fics, Harry had to do some work to understand Draco, which is what really sold me on the pairing. I still want fics in which Draco has to do a lot of heavy lifting to address his past and deal with the hurt he has caused and the violence of his previously genocidal outlook, but I love it when Harry, too, has to adjust. After saving the world and losing most people he loves and protecting the innocent and doing his exhausted little best to be honest and righteous and true, Harry Potter still has to do work, again, to overcome his past and find a peaceful life. And that's what made me start writing Harry/Draco, the end.

[rayshippouuchiha]

My husband has a friend who he is really close with. I don't mind this. What I do mind is that there have often been times I feel he prioritizes her over me. I'll be in the middle of talking to him and he'll jump on a call to play a game with her when I'm quite literally mid-sentence. There was a period of time where she was unemployed and, understandably, stressed, and he spent a minimum of 6 hours a day on a call with her. If she has any issues she will immediately call my husband.

She's married, we attended her wedding. I don't think there's anything romantic or sexual in nature going on between them. I have discussed with him multiple times how upsetting it is that he seems to make more of an effort to spend time with her and support her than he does me. She has other friends. Close friends, who also actually live near her and share similar life styles and interests.

I hate this situation because if I say I'm jealous, it would understandably be interpreted as though I'm jealous in the 'are you cheating on me' way. Which isn't the case. I'm jealous because I don't feel like our marriage holds priority over his friendship with her. I've known him since just before they became friends, and we got together shortly after. This isn't a case of this being a long-standing friendship and our relationship being rather new.

It's frustrating and upsetting but I don't feel it's worth ending our relationship over. I'm mainly just here to vent I suppose.

Yeah it's perfectly understandable that you're upset and frustrated. i always push for communication and honesty as long as it's safe so I'd totally say try to talk to him in depth about the situation again and/or maybe see about some couple's counseling.

But if that doesn't work and he continues to prioritize her over you and your relationship? Then I'd say reevaluate your stance on the relationship because you deserve to be happy too and, to be blunt, infidelity can be emotional as well as/or instead of sexual.

[saintsenara]

Ooh more about the subtext around James/Sirius? I’ve always read the text this way too!

thank you for the ask anon!

this question could have been prompted by any number of posts i’ve made, because i am a great proponent of the idea that unrequited prongsfoot is canon. 

why?

i’m so glad you asked…

let’s begin with a small caveat which - regrettably - involves some engagement with discourse.

the things created within fan-fiction aren’t real - an individual fic can’t cause actual, material harm to a reader, even if it contains tropes that would be harmful or distressing if they happened in that reader’s real life; an author’s use of certain tropes or interest in certain characters is not indicative of their actual morals and values in real life; thought crimes are not real crimes - but fan-fiction is produced by human beings who are themselves products of the societies and communities in which we all live, and these societies and communities all have flaws and failings.

which is to say, those of us who prefer to read male friendships like james and sirius’ as romantic do need to be aware that, no matter how enlightened on gender and its foibles we think ourselves to be, we are nonetheless influenced as modern humans by a modern tendency to discourage platonic physical and emotional closeness between men, especially straight men, on the grounds that two men having this sort of relationship is inherently queer and, in being queer, implicitly sexual - another powerful societal influence on our thought, even if we know we don’t agree with it. we should also be aware that reading a friendship as defining and life-altering as james and sirius’ as romantic gives weight to a modern tendency to prioritise romantic love - and one of its expected outcomes, the love of parents for their biological children -  over platonic love, and to regard people for whom romantic love is not a priority as not properly having achieved the milestones of adulthood, nor as properly fulfilled, adored, or satisfied.

everything which follows here, then, can be taken to refer just as validly to a purely platonic relationship between james and sirius if the reader prefers. and, indeed, my view is that this is how the canon narrative wants the reader to understand james saw the relationship. 

but i also think that the canonical text wants us to infer that, for sirius, his relationship with james was one of unrequited romantic love.

it must be said, however, that the narrative doesn’t show this explicitly. of course, it emphasises sirius and james’ compatibility, their similar personalities, their shared affection for each other, and a certain element of codependency (the thought of these two boys unable to be apart even for a detention without talking through their mirrors! my heart breaks!), but it also sets up these shared elements as - in some senses - fraternal: sirius is quasi-adopted by the potters; harry thinks of him and james as like fred and george, at least until he sees snape’s memories in order of the phoenix. when sirius speaks to harry about james, the profundity of his love for him is obvious, and on the two occasions when we see them physically together (snape’s worst memory and the prince’s tale) it’s clear that each is the primary driving force behind the other’s decisions. but we have nothing which indicates unambiguously that sirius’ feelings for james were romantic.

until we dive into a bit of narratology. because the text does do something to suggest that its intention is for sirius’ relationship with james to be read as non-platonic, and that something is its use of narrative mirrors. the harry potter series loves assigning its characters to narrative pairs - harry and voldemort are the obvious one; ron and draco malfoy are the one which deserves more attention - and it assigns to sirius a narrative mirror whose own story is one of unrequited romantic love.

severus snape.

sirius and snape are incredibly similar, personality-wise. they also serve identical narrative roles, in that they function as the guides who lead harry through an emotional arc which begins in earnest in prisoner of azkaban and concludes in deathly hallows, in which he sheds his childish, black-and-white view of his parents and comes to regard them as real, flawed, and complex people. harry does this with james in order of the phoenix - after the realisation that he was a bully stops the hero-worshipping which has defined his earlier attitude towards his father - with sirius as his guide (sirius is then killed off the second this narrative sub-arc is complete). he then does it with lily - who spends the earlier books as secondary in importance to james in her son’s mind - in half-blood prince and deathly hallows, in which snape (via the proxies of slughorn, the discipline of potions, his textbook, his patronus, and his memories) serves as his guide, until the fact that lily is the key to the whole mystery is revealed just before harry sacrifices himself to save the world.

in the course of this, it comes to be revealed that each of them considers their life to be defined by their relationship with and love for one half of the pair of james and lily (although the series hides this in snape’s case - making it look as though he is also motivated purely by his antagonistic relationship with james - right up until the last moment). their mirrored relationships with harry - while the idea that sirius is incapable of distinguishing him from his father is an invention of the films - is also driven fundamentally by their relationship with one of the two halves of his parents.

sirius and snape’s mirrored motivation-by-love is shown most clearly in their identical approach to guilt and grief, the two things which overarchingly drive their individual character arcs across the seven-book canon (or three, if you’re sirius - rip king).

both sirius and snape indirectly trigger the death of the person they love - and, let’s be frank, if we’re going to excoriate snape for reporting the prophecy to voldemort, exactly the same level of ire needs to be reserved for sirius and his plan to switch secret keepers (what we could do instead, of course, is recognise the life-altering tragedy of making this kind of mistake, which we all have to hope we never experience ourselves, and treat the lads with compassion) - but it’s clear in canon that neither accepts the idea that their involvement was, in fact, indirect. sirius openly tells harry that he considers himself to have ‘as good as’ cast the killing curse on james and lily; snape rejects dumbledore’s (back-handed) comfort that james and lily’s deaths were caused by ‘putting their trust in the wrong person’ by wishing to die himself.

wracked by guilt and hollowed out by grief, both of them then decide to punish themselves in an effort - one which, i think, they both consider futile, since they clearly regard their sins as too great to be redeemed - to atone for causing james and lily’s deaths. both of them do this by subjecting themselves to the pain and humiliation of imprisonment.

in sirius’ case, obviously, this is literal. we know from canon that he refuses to profess his innocence at any point during his show trial - and why would he, when he considers himself to be guilty? - and that he remains in azkaban for twelve years, despite possessing the means to escape before then. he leaves the prison only to attempt the one action which he thinks will redeem him in james’ eyes: murdering peter pettigrew.

in snape’s case, the prison is a metaphor (foucault just sat up). snape entombs himself both at hogwarts - not a place he seems to have been particularly happy - and in spinner’s end, allows dumbledore to repeatedly humiliate him, and risks his life as a spy as a means of self-flagellation. like sirius, he fails to profess his innocence - through ordering dumbledore to tell nobody of his true allegiance - because he considers himself to be guilty. he leaves the self-constructed cell in which he is skulking only when dead - when harry, who has taken on the burden of fulfilling snape’s atonement himself by preparing to kill voldemort, starts screaming his true motivations in the dark lord’s face - although there is some implication in canon that dumbledore’s intention was for snape to end the series by attempting himself the one action which he thinks will redeem him in lily’s eyes: murdering voldemort.

[after all, why does dumbledore say to harry at king’s cross that his intention was for snape to control the elder wand if he wasn’t hoping he’d use it to give the dark lord his death blow?]

snape and sirius mirror each other exactly in their response to the death of the person they love. we can justifiably assume, then, that we are intended by the text to read that love as identical in type. 

jkr has been very clear that snape’s relationship with lily is one of unrequited romantic love. we obviously don’t have to accept this in our own readings or in the way we write the characters in our own work - i love a queer snape sacrificing everything for his platonic best friend as much as the next girl - but we do have to acknowledge it as the doylist text’s stated intention. it stands to reason, then, that the text’s intention is for us to regard the mirror-image of snape’s love for lily - sirius’ love for james - as romantic as well.

or, unrequited prongsfoot is canon.

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

Listening to "If I Loved You" and holy shit it just hit me that Pete and Steph and Max and Grace are really good reflections of each other. There's the similarities, like-

Max and Steph are the two popular kids in the dynamic, both pursue the nerds rather than the reverse.

Pete and Grace are both hesitant in pursuing that relationship, one out of fear, one out of conviction.

Both Max and Steph use their social power to (attempt to) protect their nerd. Max knocks Kyle out for insulting Grace, and Steph being willing to stand up for Pete makes him a peer in the eyes of the other popular kids. (Max excluded)

Both couples having sexual feelings for each other plays a major role in their respective stories (Abstinence Camp for Steph/Pete, NPMD for Grace/Max)

But what I think is most interesting is the differences. For instance-

Pete spends a lot of time considering his potential friendship/relationship with Steph, analyzing his own self-perception ("am I cooler than I think I am?") And considering how Steph thinks about herself ("She's smarter than she thinks she is"). On the other hand, Grace doesn't think about Max in any real way beyond her own fantasy. Max does seem romantically interested in her, but Grace fantasizes about having a no-strings-attached physical relationship ("I won't care about you!") As a side note, it's very interesting to me that the line "a one-way ticket power trip" seems to be referring to Grace, not Max. She doesn't want a relationship, she wants to feel powerful, which is very different.

Grace and Max are... Caustic. A lot would have to change in order for their dynamic to be healthy. Their relationship is very new and immature and self-serving. Grace thinks of Max as a means to an end, and Max is pushy and disrespectful of her obvious boundaries.

Steph and Pete are the complete opposite. Even when they're trying to be mean to each other their words are still rooted in a deep care for the other's well-being. "If I loved you like you should be loved" is literally them trying to say "I don't like you!" but accidentally adding "At least not in the way you are deserving of because you are important to me and I only want the best for you! AAGGH!!!"

"Loved you like I'm capable of" can be directly translated to "if I liked you in that way you would KNOW because my heart would be SO FULL and I would show you EVERY DAY how MUCH you MEAN TO ME!! But I DON'T! So THERE!"

Even when Steph and Pete are actively trying to antagonize each other, their actions and words can all be drawn back to the fact that, romantic or not, they really, really care about each other, and that's the bedrock of their relationship. God I love these two

I'm just such a sucker for narrative parallels you guys

[sailorblossoms]

Yet another long post, this time with clickbait-y titles for readability purposes,

Simon has "a type"

Thinking about the ways in which Agatha and Baz share similarities, and how that might lead to the conclusion of "Simon has a type" (which MRB so succinctly summarizes as "better than me") and... I think that's right, but notably: it's not just about dating choices. It extends to other areas of his life. It's also platonic.

I mean, Penny is his type. She's arguably the first person Simon has ever truly loved, the first relationship he forms in which he experiences real love... and she's a very competent person. She excels in areas Simon is interested in. When we meet him, he would tell you he's useless without her. "Better than me" can translate to "I'm a mess and I like to surround myself with people who help me keep it together."

Being traditionally beautiful can be seen as a form of "excelling," especially when you're a girl who is into traditionally girly things (like wearing make-up). Agatha is "prettier than all the other girls" and has nicer clothes and a nicer house, and Simon, who has no fucking self-esteem, tells you "pretty sure she likes being better than others" and likely likes her not despite her being a stuck up; it's "part of the charm." However, liking her doesn't mean he's into her. Simon likes her how he likes Penny: when Simon talks about hating that Agatha is no longer talking to him and essentially "not wanting to lose" her (while, tellingly, not doing shit to prevent this) he proceeds to tell you all about Agatha The Friend. Simon dedicates the entire page to telling you the kind of friend she is where he (very tellingly) should be talking to you about Agatha "The Girlfriend." He never tells you how the fuck they started dating; he tells you how they became friends. What Simon doesn't want to lose is her friendship.

I think "having a type" that applies not just to dating (on top of the heteronormativity of it all and Simon liking to not think at all) would actually make things more complicated for Simon ("do I like them as a person vs do I like like them, platonic attraction vs romantic and/or sexual attraction). Penny, who fits "Simon's type" is obviously like a sister to him. A bestie, a ride-or-die. If you think about it, Agatha is also like a sister – like an older sister figure, in some ways (likely contributing to how wrong it feels, them dating; the more info we get, the worst it feels). She's the "eww don't chew with your mouth open" person, the "please stop getting into trouble, Simon" person. It fits with "helping to keep it together" even if Simon doesn't listen. It must be nice too, because she's not just being judgemental for the sake of it either, she simply cares about him; something Simon doesn't experience often. (More grimly, dating her kinda fits within that too, because Simon doesn't know what to do with himself when he experiences romantic love and sexual attraction, famously not mild or easy to manage feelings – just look at him regularly losing his shit around Baz – and Simon not having those feelings for Agatha helped him exist not processing shit, even though that created other problems).

I would say that both Penny and Agatha are close friends and like sisters to Simon, the main difference being: Agatha doesn't look like the kind of girl you just want to be platonic with, not for boys. It goes against expectations for him to be a boy, to be a hero and not want her romantically and sexually, and Simon cares very much about fulfilling expectations. (Also, these people are British so I'm just gonna say it: Agatha being the lily-white blonde embodying European beauty standards to a degree that's romanticized like there's no tomorrow vs Penny being a brown chubby girl with frizzy hair also plays into it, plus Agatha being weak with magic vs Penny being powerful. Not consciously, but it's part of the design of the stories and roles and expectations that were shaping their lives.)

Agatha "vs" Baz

Sure, they do have similarities, but things that would make Simon simply drawn to Agatha (platonically, although he was confused, heteronormativity, etc) are a turn-on with Baz. It's a turn-on when Baz is a little mean (without being actually hurtful) to him. It drives Simon crazy that Baz is good at everything he does. The things Agatha is good at are not actually interesting to Simon... He's all about magic and one of the first things he tells you about her is that she's a weak magician (while telling you Penny and Baz are powerful) (he even gets distracted with how good Baz is; his life is in danger and he's talking about Baz being good at magic). Going to her activities (like her games) are things he would be "obligated" to do because he's her boyfriend and he's supposed to support her. (In a similar way, he would be "obligated" to be there too with Penny, even if he's not interested in the activity, because he's her best friend, and it goes both ways... which is how Penny found herself stalking Baz alongside Simon at first haha). With Baz, there is no such obligation. He has no reason to go to all his games; he invents silly excuses (that he later admits where "obviously just excuses," he already knew Baz is a vampire etc) because he simply likes watching Baz being ruthless in the field. He simply likes listening to him play his violin. Simon shows interest even when he doesn't have to.

This is something that I picked on during my first read, and the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced I'm right. In some ways, Agatha embodies "female desirability" in Simon's and Baz's POV (she does something similar to them with the whole hero vs bad boy deal). She is "Simon's type," she's very similar to him (they share a braincell, if you will). In short: she seems like someone that Simon would be into... if he was into women. But he's not into her. Paraphrasing the author here: he "has no romantic instincts" and "he never expresses anything sexual" toward her. He likes her and she likes him, sure, but not like that. (Simon equating the way he can see Agatha is attractive to the way his gay boyfriend should be able to see it, Agatha equating the way she liked Simon to the way the girl she wants to jump would like him if she gave Simon a chance) (they share a braincell, I tell you.)

In CO, Simon tells us that he was always just "doing what he thought Agatha wanted." In awtwb, he thinks that he will give Baz "whatever he wants." On the surface, this might look like the same thing, but there are actually pretty notable differences.

With Agatha, in his own words, "he always got it wrong." He "never put her first" (he actually put her dead last, look at his list and the excuses he gives). Doing whatever he thought she wanted operates on assumptions, and doesn't contemplate his own wants. It can also be about guilt over knowing that Agatha, in the role of girlfriend, didn't have any priority in his life (hence she "always feeling like the third wheel" while they dated). Putting it all together, it's pretty clearly a sign of Simon's disinterest. Of Simon being unhappy and not actually wanting to be her boyfriend, because he doesn't love her. Doing what he assumed she wanted then it's a form of just complying, of following expectations and giving in to his role, of perhaps even trying to "make it up" for things not working without ever having to process shit.

With Baz, Simon wants. He tells you that he wants to be the person who takes care of Baz. He tells you that he likes it. Taking care of Baz is a love language (which explains how fucking murder is his love language: protection and proving for him) Simon tells us he can't think about anything else when Baz is unhappy. That it's thrilling to "make it better." "Giving him everything he wants" then it's a sign of Simon's interest. He wants to be with him, and he wants to make him happy, because he loves him. This is also not based on assumptions; it comes in the context of Baz telling him what he wants. Doing what Baz wants then it's a form of Simon giving himself to him, to their relationship, to putting in the work to make it work.

Types of comfort vs discomfort

Part of the differences jumped to me before the goat scene, when we see Baz arguing with Simon over hiding his wings in Agatha's POV, and as soon as she joins in to support Baz Simon gives up. I think a couple of things: it's more of a 2 vs 1, rather than Agatha having more weight than Baz. But also: Simon arguing over (and dismissing) concerns over safety is familiar ground for Agatha, and this comes after he apologized to her over their past together, so I wonder if part of it is Simon listening to her because he feels guilty over dismissing her concerns for safety in the past. Also, and more relevant to this post: Simon feels comfortable with Baz in ways he didn't with Agatha, which is notable given how Baz notes that Simon is comfortable with her in a way he is with few people...

What I mean by this is that Simon did date Agatha in survival mode. "Doing what he thought she wanted" is also survival. Just doing whatever needs to be done to keep the relationship, because is the one thing enabling the HEA fantasy that it's all about "maybe he won't die young and alone" in battle (and because of, again, the heteronormativity of it all). See how breaking up instantly leaves him with nowhere to go at Christmas and without access to adults who took care of him during that period ever since he started Watford. How wanting to break up with her would require him to pursue thoughts and feelings that would result in getting to know things about himself he wasn't ready for, things he didn't feel equipped to handle and that would make his existence in his role complicated, when his role was the one thing giving him purpose (hard enough being "enemies" without being aware he was in love with Baz).

I there's discomfort with both, but with Baz it's the "right" kind of discomfort. The "pushing myself to work through things that should be worked through and process my feelings" type of discomfort, the "getting to know myself" type of discomfort, as opposed to "I don't actually want to do the things I'm doing here" type of discomfort." (Just like how he was the "wrong kind" of comfortable with Agatha while they dated, the: "it's better to not think about anything ever and stick with what's familiar even when it makes you miserable" type of comfort, while it was likely an easy comfort when they were friends).

With Baz, Simon first feels comfortable enough to push and test boundaries before they start communicating. To say stop where with Agatha he likely just turned off his brain and pushed through. And then, he feels comfortable in ways he has never felt before. He feels comfortable enough to begin to think about his desires, his relationship with touch, his thoughts and feelings, which he never has before. To fully be himself in all his fucked up glory. To the point he reveals part of himself you wouldn't think where there when you first read him in CO, that completely re-contextualizes things we saw there even.

[blossomthepinkbunny]

Stolas & Loona should have friends

(something I feel would work well for their characters)

I feel like Loona's and Stolas' character would really benefit from giving them friendships. Relationships that could help to humanize them, make them more sympathetic or help to develop/change them as people.

For Loona it makes sense to go into that direction because this huge part of her character is dealing with the fact that she grew up sheltered and never had someone who really cared for her. Blitzø is the first real parental figure she has in her life and she is often pretty cruel to him because she never learned to interact with others who genuinely wanted to be kind to her.

I think giving her more of a social life and potential friendships like we kinda got to see in the Beelzebub episode is something they are working up to with her character, though I find it weird that we didn't really get to see her in the new s2 trailer (or in any of the last 5 episodes for that matter). It seems like Loona wont have any focus on her which is dissapointing because right now her character is in a state where she is still pretty unlikable and comes off as just rude more often.

The show had three good opportunities to give Loona someone to be friends with. First one was Tex which didn't work out because she had a crush on him and even after meeting his girlfriend being defensive and jealous rather than realizing that maybe they'd be better as just friends. Second one could've been Beelzebub (if you ignore the fact that she's the one organizing the pounds for hellhounds) but she is Tex's girlfriend so Loona immediately doesn't like her. And lastly Loona and Octavia, who they were kinda setting up as having a sister-like bond in "Seeing Stars".

But Loona and Octavia have never interacted after that as far as we know. Like I said, Loona basically hasn't shown up in a relevant way for 5 episodes now. It could've been small stuff even. Like maybe in "Western energy" instead of having the stupid nursery subplot it could've just been mentioned that Loona and Octavia are hanging out while Stolas is on his meeting with Stella and Andrealphus. Or just see them chilling together in the background of some episodes.

Giving Loona friends would give her someone she could share her feelings with and that could make her less toxic because she can get her emotions out in a non destructive way. She needs someone who isn't Blitzø, someone who is closer to her in age and someone who will understand her and help her with socializing. And in my opinion that someone shouldn't necessarily be a love interest either. We already have so many romantic/sexual relationships in HB and rarely see relevant friendships which I think is a huge missed opportunity, especially in Loonas case.

And for Stolas, giving him a friend would maybe show more of the sympathetic aspects of his character. Right now I don't like Stolas at all and I don't see a reason to either. He forced Blitzø into a sexual relationship so he can do his job and then starts to whine about Blitzø not loving him back. Knowingly or not, he made great use of hells classist system and basically neglects his daughter as well in the process (though the show will tell you that he actually cares a lot despite us not really seeing that on screen).

What pisses me off most about his character is that they don't acknowledge him being a terrible person. I don't care if he's bad as long as the show doesn't try to woobify him out of nowhere. If they pointed out what he does and he would recieve consequences that aren't treated as unfair or mean i'd like him a lot more because then they could also genuinely show him becoming a better person. A characterization similar to Rex Splode from Invincible would really do wonders for him (I've only watched the show for Invincible so I dont know if/how they move his character forward, but so far I really like it).

Anyways, giving him a friend or something could also help. HB tries to make a big point about people having layers and showing that someone who does harmful stuff can still have sympathetic sides to them. Stolas' problem is, that the only focus he ever gets is in relationships where he is acting bad. I already mentioned how he treats Blitzø and with how hard they're pushing them as a couple they're showing Stolas to be pretty terrible in retrospective. We also don't really get to see how hard he apparently cares for Octavia. Giving him a relationship that shows the sympathetic sides to his character could be done by making his relationship with Octavia be actually good. Like showing them hanging out, actively interacting in positive ways and basically making him a great dad but bad partner sort of guy. Giving him a friend would also work as I said. Maybe Asmodeus could've been that or just a new character. Something that makes him more sympathetic because we get to see a positive side to him with how he cares for this other person.

I really hope they put some focus on Loona again because I kinda care for her and I think dealing with what she has going on could be nice and cute. And for Stolas idk. It might already be too late to make me not dislike him. He is just way too far into being victimized already for me to assume that i will sympathize with him anytime soon.

[wehaveimagineshere]

Hello! I have a request for either Frost or Ren, both headcanons or scenario are good💞

Could we maybe have a Astarion/Gale/Halsin with an asexual gender neutral reader? Thank you!

Hi! So since Ren only accepts one character at a time per ask, I’ll be doing this! I hope you like it! I’m going to try my best to not make it similar to the other G/N post

Also I apologize for taking so long. A lot has been going on in my personal life that has kicked me in the ass and thrown in for a loop

Astarion

• Astarion was confused and baffled at the thought that you refused to sleep with him

• He tried every tactic he could possibly think of. Sweet nothings, sexual innuendos, fluttering touches. But you still refused

• When you told him that you’re not sexually attracted to anyone he was at a loss. What was he supposed to do now?

• So he grew distant from you for a while. Sex was all he knew. How else was he supposed to make sure you never betray him?

• But you persisted on getting to know him on a personal level. To form a true bond with honest feelings

• You were there for him when he needed you to be. You tried to have him talk out his frustrations and worries

• He would still occasionally try again to have some sort of sexual relations but you had to stand your ground and tell him you were not comfortable with him doing that

• And if he tried again you were gone. That he needs to respect your choices and feelings like you do for him

• And he does. He’s come to learn that he values you more than just someone to sleep with. You trying your hardest to help him with his demons and form a real friendship made him see that honestly, he doesn’t like sex all that much either

• It was just all he knew how to do

• He’s fallen in love with you for you. For who you are as a person. He’s terrified

• But you’ve shown him that you’re sticking with him no matter what. Always and forever

Gale

• Gale was surprised but more curious than anything

• He’s never met anyone who was asexual before and was ashamed to admit that he didn’t know much about it

• He would ask if it was okay to ask you questions about it. Like what exactly does being asexual mean and what your age was when you discovered you were

• Along with what you told him he would also go to libraries to see if there were any books talking about it so that he could become more educated because it genuinely intrigued him

• You would sometimes join him to the library and make it a date. He would point out passages to you and ask you how you felt about them

• He respected you immensely. From what he understood, it might’ve been hard on you to have that sexuality and still have strangers try to make sexual advances

• It angered him when you told him that you did in fact have situations like that in your life

• It made him want to protect you but you would tell him that you could handle it on your own, but you’re still thankful nonetheless

• Gale would prioritize dates where you get to know each other on a personal level

• Along with your now traditional weekly library dates, you’ll also have nice little homemade dinners

• You not having sex and constantly being there for Gale made him realize that he doesn’t need to risk his life to become better than the gods. That he’s fine just the way he is

• It’s not before long that you quickly move in together. Knowing that you want to be together forever

Halsin

• The fact that Halsin is poly made the relationship easier for the both of you

• At first he was surprised. Your sexuality is the complete opposite of his

• But he was still so genuinely interested in you that he wanted to give your relationship a try as long as you were comfortable with it

• Halsin focuses more on the romantic part of your relationship

• He’ll take you on really nice dates in the forest where you’ll dip your toes in a river or lake while holding hands and basking in each others presence

• He’ll ask you personal questions while answering any questions you throw his way, even if they’re a little uncomfortable to talk about

• There will be times where he’ll spend a couple hours in a brothel but it doesn’t bother you a single bit. He respects your decision not to have sex. You can’t force him to follow in your footsteps. It’s not only wrong but it’s just not who he is

• So a couple times a month he’ll go to a brothel or find someone somewhere and have some fun while you work on some projects that needed to be done

• You have a talent for wood carving so in your downtime when you’re not constantly on the road, you’ll carve him ducks in different shapes and sizes

• He keeps them all and will display them in whatever home you’re currently residing. He absolutely adores them. Especially the ones you don’t like as much

• He’ll encourage you to make other designs as well to sell. What you can make with your hands is pure art that should be shared with the world. The ducks are only for him though

• The relationship and dynamic you two have together just works so well and not only do you compliment each other but you fill in the other’s needs that isn’t any less than perfect

[starrylayle]

been thinking abt how the marauders era relationships would pan out in every universe and here are my thoughts!!

Wolfstar — lowkey controversial but I don’t think they’re soulmates — they’re more, kinda-wrong person, right time. I think they’d only end up together when things go to shit. Which is part of why I love them so much and why I love them in the canon universe. James and Lily are dead, Peter is a traitor, remus is unemployed and sirius….poor sirius. So yeah, They’re just two fucked up lads trying their best to love despite the world being against them. In universes where they don’t fall in love, can imagine they think the other’s a little off-putting or perhaps no really strong emotions. I think that’s why their connection in the canon universe is so special to me, because I just don’t think they’re relationship would be as prominent if circumstances were different (in other universes).

Prongsfoot — they’re literally soulmates. In every fucking universe. Sometimes, it’s platonic (tho never strictly), sometimes, romantic, sometimes an intense sexual bond as enemies?? Either way they’re always a little bit in love with each other. I do hc James as straight in the canon universe but yeah they definitely made out. And in other universes where James is queer they’re having the time of their lives. Anyways so yeah. Soulmates in every universe.

Jily — Love Jily! I see them as a first love situation. Some universes (like the main one) their love becomes immortalised. However, in others, maybe they move on and find other people, but since they were each other’s first love they always have a special place in their heart for each other <33

Jegulus — …………………………………………………………..

Prongstail — always doomed in the long run. Kinda childhood friends to lovers to ……. . A bit of unrequitedness because I don’t think James could ever love Peter enough. And in every universe Peter always has an inferiority complex and bottled resentment. They’re relationship rarely ends well.

Snily — ooh this is an interesting one. Similar to prongsfoot, I think they’re also a kind of doomed childhood-friend-to-lovers. Except I think that in the universes where Sev does not end being a bigot, they could probably date for a bit. They wouldn’t last tho and would remain as friends. In one universe Lily is an out and proud Lesbian and Sev is a closeted t-girl and they date for a bit but eventually decide to become friends (Lily still supports transfem!Sev in her transition tho). Canon universe tho,,, Sev had a crush on her and maybe Lily did too, but fifth year and James lol.

Nobleflower — ooooh love me some sapphic friends-to-star-crossed-lovers! I feel like in every universe they’d be on opposing sides, depending on circumstance.

Marylene — Friends to lovers, right person wrong time in the canon universe, but in other universes they’re thriving. They still would have had some sort of codependent, homoerotic friendship leading up to it lmaoo.

Dorlene — I like to think they’re always rivals in some context. Sometimes it leads to a fiery relationship, and sometimes it’s just aggressive sexual tension while they’re on opposing fields.

Jeverus — oooh people hate this but. Toxic rivals/enemies to lovers. Sometimes it works out, most of the time it doesn’t. The hate they hold for each is very strong but so is the sex

anyways this was fun!! Lemme know what u guys agree/disagree with! Maybe I’ll do a part 2 lol.

[punkeropercyjackson]

Okay but y'know who would've been the perfect character to use as a secondary foil to Dabi in addition to Shouto being the first instead of Bird Bitch?Momo.Their upbringings are significantly different but not entierly-Momo was abused by her parents with adultification and verbally abused by them in a way that's so normalized that she has no clue of either of those things even happened to her,Dabi was abused by Endeavor in the classic way with constant verbal degragation and physical assaults.And they both had the same motivation and justification behind them:They wanted them to be the perfect child.Momo's abusers in the sense of her becoming the ideal proper 'mature' woman,Dabi's abuser in the sense of the most powerful hero.They parallel eachother in a contrasting way and so do their trauma responses by extension and their dynamic has so much untapped potential that i genuinely think it's one of Horikoshi's dropping the ball moment's that he never had them share a bond or at least pointed out their different similarities

It's shown that despite his lack of care for strangers generally,Dabi looks out for his own.He treats Toga like his little sister because she had a rough childhood due to her quirk too and his best friendship with Jin is so tender and strong that it borderlines on romantic and we all saw what he did and said to Hawks for his ableism motivated murder of him and it's not a coincidence that he's even more brotherly to Toga and unhinged after that event specifically.In addition to their shared history of parental abuse,Momo herself also has a bunch of disorders which unlike with Jin were not intentional-Let's be honest,if Horikoshi had made her autistic,adhd,anxiety and ocd intentionally,i don't even wanna think about how horrifically she would've been treated by both other characters and the narrative-but are too intertwined with her story to remove them and still have her be in-character so it's fun and interesting to think of Momo and Dabi having to interact with eachother due to her being a heroine in training and him a villain who's team's main enemies are friends and mentors

Both of them have also not fully escaped the treatment they got growing up-Momo was given a costume that was blatantly meant to sexualize her and gets put in charge of leading her classmates into war as literal child soldiers,Dabi still dosen't get believed as a victim of his father because he's 'too mean' to count as one.I would love to see stories of them slowly accidentally befriending eachother right after the Bakugou rescue arc and Dabi helping Momo see hero society isn't fair or kind to her either and Momo realizing just how often it is that situations like Dabi's happen-Hell,she helped rescue someone who's the same as Endeavor,only on a smaller scale.I don't think she'd instantly go villain nor that Dabi would force her to but the prelude to the war arc has her getting kicked out by her parents for standing up to them and because they found out she's been doing vigilanteism so she joins him because she knows he's right and because he's treated her better than almost every other adult in her life and in turn,she's made him realize that not every hero is thrown into it willingly and are just hurt kids like he used to be and that they're the real ones.'Creati' becomes 'Destruct' but before this all unfolds,we get Shouto and Momo being closer than ever as the series progresses due to the differences in Momo's plot and Dabi's involvement in it pulling Shouto into their orbits and Todomomo goes from a subtle but potent romance to a constant and in your face 'They're soulmates by choice' type of beat in the best and healthiest way possible

Momo gets to be written as a multidimensional teen girl character with no demonization for being an anti-heroine and not be erased as the second real first friend Shouto made in favor of a lifelong bully who told his number one victim to kill himself and Dabi gets to redeem himself by being the good older brother he never got to be as Touya and entering rehibilitation after the war ends because he refuses to die after getting to save Jin from Hawks so they can live out the rest of their lives together.Breaking the cycle of abuse is a much better story than shonen fuckery bullshit disguised as superhero homages when in reality it's disrespecting the history behind and core of comics

[our-aroace-experience]

Hi! So this is probably going to be a long and messy rant, but I had a fight with my allo friends recently about the feelings I have for a co-worker, and I just want to know what fellow aroace people think about this situation.

For context: I have a coworker that I have feelings for, but I'm not sure exactly *what* those feelings are. I spent a long time overthinking whether my feelings where platonic or romantic, and I decided to tell my best friends so I could get their help or support.

When I mentioned my coworker has a partner, my friends shut me down completely.

They told me to forget about it, that I shouldn't be friends with my coworker, and that I needed to keep a distance from said coworker.

I explained to them that I just wanted to be friends. I told them I didn't want a romantic relationship with my coworker, I wanted a fully platonic relationship, similar to the one I currently have with my best friends.

None of it mattered. My friends were more concerned with how my coworker's partner would view the friendship.

They said since my coworker is in a relationship it doesn't make sense to spend time with them one on one outside of work. They even went so far as to say if my coworker developed feelings for me it would put my coworker in a tight situation.

It felt like they were saying if I felt romantic attraction then that meant something was going to happen, even though I have zero interest in a romantic relationship. And it felt like they were putting a stranger first before putting me, their friend, first. So I tried to further explain my feelings and why I was so confused about everything.

And my friends said that if I saw my coworker as just a friend then I shouldn't be questioning my feelings :')

I was heartbroken because in almost a decade of friendship this was the first time that I felt my friends didn't respect, or at the very least didn't understand, my aromanticism.

I feel like I can never talk to my best friends about this type of stuff ever again. And how am I suppose to? I can't express how much their reaction hurt me.

They said I was overthinking things, and they're right about that, but my friends also don't understand how much of a big deal this was to me.

They even kept conflating my aromanticism with my asexuality and making comments about my aceness, even though asexuality wasn't apart of the conversation at all. I know 100% I am not sexually attracted to my coworker. The question was whether I'm platonicly attracted or romantically attracted. And even if my feelings are romantic, I don't want a romantic relationship.

I want to be friends with my coworker. I want to hang out with them and learn more about them. Is that really such a crime when I don't fully understand my feelings?

I guess what I want to know is, am I in the wrong here? In this situation, am I the problem?

i don’t see why being friends with someone would be bad, but i hope it’s worked out for you!

[cryptcoop]

How well does moira get along with the rest of talon?

Her relationships within Talon are pretty dubious.

To start, she does not get along with Doomfist. I don't think he really cares much for her, and deems her a replaceable asset. He just uses her to have more power over Oasis, and realistically he could have just about anybody in a minister position and he'd be happy. He doesn't care for her work, and actively gives her tasks that pushes her away from doing her own work, like forcing her to work on Widowmaker, Sigma, ect. She knows how little she means to his overall operation and holds a lot of animosity towards him. However, without Talon, she has nothing. Talon is basically her last shot of leaving a mark on the world and she can't throw that away, so she pretends to play nice.

Reaper is an interesting story because they have so much history together. He got her a job at Overwatch, Blackwatch, and Talon, but they were definitely closest in Blackwatch. I kind of imagine during that time Gabe saw her as an annoying older sister, who acted like she knew more than him and bickered with him on everything, but was still his older sister, yknow? He loved her, she loved him. He's one of the only people who saw her walls come down, saw the real Moira. Lots of nights spent at her lab, drinking and talking about nothing and everything. They've grown apart of lot since then. Not because of anything Moira did to him, but more so just because Gabe has changed a lot. He's too angry, in too much pain. Moira has changed too. I think she was actually kinda happy in Blackwatch, even if she didn't outwardly show it, or even knew it herself, but know she's just sad? Accepted her fate as one of talons pawns. Neither of them can go back to drinking in her lab. They have moments together, little blips of what it used to be, but they both know it'll never be the same, that it can't be.

Sombra kinda forces herself into Moira's business. I like their chemistry a lot. Sombra has dirt on Moira but Moira has lost all sense of shame, lost to her own arrogance of self image, so Sombra holds no power over her. They have an inkling of what Gabe used to have with Moira, a funny little friendship. Moira never tells Sombra anything personal, she doesn't let her walls come down anymore, but she'll genuinely smile and crack jokes and laugh with her, because she's practically the only beacon of positively within Talon. Also, Moira's high and mighty persona doesn't work on Sombra, and Moira likes women who challenge her like that. They have a kind of will they wont they energy to them. I think Moira is sexually interested in Sombra for sure, and I think that feeling is palpable, and I think Sombra likes to play with that feeling quite a bit.

Honestly? I don't think she has much of a relationship with Sigma at all. Probably hardly sees him as a person, more so a nuisance she has to baby sit. Which is sad, because I think Sigma likes her company a lot. She is stern with him but she doesn't ever yell at him or anything, and he can't really tell that she is mad at him, so he thinks him and Moira are friends, someone of similar intellect to him that he can have scientific conversations with, and is also someone who helps him manage his hallucinations and memory loss.

I've spoken about her relationship with Widow before so I won't get into it again.

For fairness I'll add Ramattra too, but I'm only doing it because I think they could potentially have a funny relationship because I genuinely think they would be so fucking awkward. They are both intellectuals with a strong sense of their morals and they could have some great conversations but they just have no idea how to talk to each other. They do small talk and then it withers away into nothing. It would mostly be Ramattra wishing to speak with Moira but he has no idea how to engage in a conversation with her, and because of it they never form a relationship.

And then for my final act. Maximillian has a crush on her but is also horrified of her. He has no idea how to talk to her and she does this funny thing that she does to omnics where she just kind of stares at them (not in any sort of hateful way, mind you) and it freaks him out but also kind of turns him on. He resorts to very awkward stilted talks with her, which he hopes to end within a sentence or two so he can promptly walk away from the situation.

[tossawary]

,,,,servant to a different king led me down a rabbithole into your forced marriage au and now I’m fucking losing it one both of them. Servant to a different king so far sounds very,,, hey share the weight except SQH has no one to keep him with the sect which sounds so very lonely. Did SQH not try to change YQY and SQQ’s fates while he had the chance to in Freeform mode? Or is this ability to do as he pleases to try and change the world a mew development? Or is this a world where SQH leaves the sect IN SPITE of all the people there who care for him?

Ah, in my opinion, whether or not Airplane Bro had the ability to change anything for Yue Qingyuan and Shen Qingqiu is largely up the fanfiction author in question. I believe he can accomplish quite a lot when he puts his mind to it! But it's not unreasonable that he simply had no leeway as a young disiciple or that the System wouldn't allow it. Or that he simply didn't know where to find them or what the timeline was! If he never gave the peak lords exact ages or never specified the year anything happened, I think that it's perfectly realistic that Airplane Bro could have honestly missed all of Qijiu's important beats just by not knowing that they were happening by virtue of not having met them yet. I think Yue Qingyuan is already the head disiciple of Qiong Ding while Shang Qinghua is still an outer disiciple of An Ding, so you could even decide to go with an interpretation where Shang Qinghua is supposed to be younger than Qijiu.

In canon, Airplane Bro just wasn't close with either of them, and that's reasonable. I wouldn't expect him to risk his life or his place at the sect for strangers. It seems that he had a preexisting relationship with Wei Qingwei before his promotion to inner disciple, but even that seems to put them at friendly acquaintances at best. I tend to think of the peak lords in their disciple days as having a "adults put us in the same room together because they think being similar ages automatically makes us friends" thing at the beginning, given how Shang Qinghua's mission with Shen Jiu and Liu Qingge went.

So, yeah, Shang Qinghua just doesn't have any significant relationships at Cang Qiong in the "servant to a different king" AU and the forced marriage AU. Airplane Bro is pretty irreverent about any potential loneliness in canon, honestly. I personally find it pretty interesting just how easily both Airplane Bro and Shen Yuan write off any possibility of romantic or even sexual relationships, out of practicality as much as an apparent lack of partners, and neither of them seem particularly torn up about it until forced to their peculiar breaking points. Shen Yuan at least seems amendable to friends, but I think this absence of deeper relationships is part of why Cucumberplane clicks the way that they do. I think this is why Shen Yuan mistakes the familiarity that exists between them due to their backgrounds for a deeper friendship than they actually have.

I'm maybe getting off track again? My point is that I have written a lot of fluffy Airplane Bro fic where he's forced to care about people, but that's appealing in part to me because he's an asshole! He doesn't really care about other people except Mobei-Jun and sometimes Shen Yuan. In SVSSS canon, I don't think it's unreasonable to label Shang Qinghua as a villain who just so happens to be on Shen Yuan's side sometimes? He and Mobei-Jun could have been a villainous power couple if they had gotten their shit together any earlier! In my AUs where Shang Qinghua ditches Cang Qiong for the Demon Realm earlier, it's kind of a "sorry not sorry" situation. He's quitting before he can be fired or executed. He's making rude gestures on the way out the door. He's probably telling Qijiu the truth about their misunderstanding in front of a crowd in order to cover his escape or maybe because he wants to cause drama. So long, suckers!

[ranaissingle]

Coffee or Tea pt. 3

Part 1 Part 2

Part 4 Masterlist

Summary: Coffee Shop AU where the reader goes to the same coffee shop often to read books, study, or just drink tea and stare at the walls lol. The reader is a college student majoring in Neuroscience and Psychology at UCLA. (you are planning to work in the medical field so be prepared for classes and activities related to that).

Rating: T (for now) Pairings: Austin Butler x Fem!Reader Word Count: 1.5k ish Warnings: mentions of sexual assault, stalking A/N: I tried to make this chapter over 1k words because I feel like the others were a little short. I also have an Elvis birthday request in the works it's just taking a minute because school started back up and I'm already swamped lol. Thank you for waiting I hope you enjoy the chapter!

★──────────★─────────★

Austin and Y/Ns interactions were similar each time. He would walk into the coffee shop, get his drink, and spot her in the corner of his vision; either engrossed in a book or swamped with homework from whatever classes she was currently taking, then he would make his way toward her and they would sit and talk for hours or just sit in silence while Y/N slaved away over her chemistry problems and Austin reviewed lines for whatever blockbuster he was currently filming.

This routine continued for 7 months before something changed. Both had feelings for each other but were too insecure to think that they could ever be loved by the other. Austin's newfound popularity came with its fair share of criticisms of his looks, voice, acting, and every other minute inconsequential detail about him. Similarly, Y/N could not comprehend how a celebrity of Austin's status had any interest in speaking with her, let alone building a 7-month friendship. But she was willing to take what she could get.

"I told you 'you should read that book'. It's a Masterpiece I'm telling you!" Austin had walked into the cafe earlier and they were both currently engrossed in a conversation over both of their latest reads. Y/N had been begging him to read The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue and he had finally caved into your demands.

"You're right I stand corrected," he held his hands up in mock defeat while he smiled lazily. God, he was beautiful, she thought as she felt his leg press against hers. The size of the table they always occupied didn't leave much room for both of their legs so Y/N had grown used to Austin's legs surrounding hers under the table.

Y/N looked down at her watch before she spoke "I've gotta get going I still have to make dinner." She could've spent the rest of her life in that coffee shop, but her real-world responsibilities were calling and she had to get home.

Austin didn't want her to leave. He wanted to keep talking about books and 'accidentally' knock his knee against hers and feign innocence.

"Oh I can walk you home if you like, my place is in your direction anyway." Austin tried to keep the excitement out of his voice as he asked. He wanted to spend as much time as possible with her before they had to part ways.

" Are you sure you want to? I can get there myself I don't want to be a bother" She tilted her head in a quizzical manner and it took all of Austin's strength not to kiss her right then and there. The supple pout of her lips and her downturned eyebrows mesmerized him.

"It's alright, really, and I need some more book recommendations from you anyway." Following his reassurance, they both gathered their things and started the walk home.

Whilst in the midst of a conversation regarding various literary pieces, Y/N saw the flash of a camera shudder in the corner of her eye. She abruptly turned to see who had taken a photo of them, but the culprit had already retreated behind the wall of an alleyway.

Austin had noticed her turn and the abrupt end of her sentence

"Are you alright?" He leaned his head down to get a better view of her face. Her eyes were wide as she bit her lip and knit her eyebrows together.

"Y-yeah I just thought I felt someone taking a picture of us." She faced her head forward again. Austin looked behind them only to find the culprit slowly sneaking their head out from behind the wall with a camera in tow.

He grits his teeth only to loop his arm around Y/N and position his large hand to block her face from the side. She looked up at him and he knelt his head down to speak in her ear while he tucked her head further against his chest.

"We are gonna have to walk a little faster okay? He probably wants a picture of your face or something like that."The annoyance in Austin's voice was palpable. Here he was trying to spend some time with the girl he liked and the paparazzi had come to ruin it.

"Okay, yeah I get it." As soon as her meek reply came Austin began walking briskly with Y/N in tow. She steered them in the direction of her apartment and Austin kept scanning behind them to see if they had been followed. Once he confirmed they were not, they both walked into the apartment building and up the steps. Y/N opened the door to her apartment with Austin's hand still wrapped around her shoulders. He had not yet realized that his arm was still wrapped around her and although Y/N wanted to speak up, she was not willing to risk losing his warmth. Instead, she turned around in his arms, lifted her head, leaned against his chest, and spoke.

" Do you want to stay for dinner? I can make us some tea after too? I have quite the assortment to choose from." She laughed as she spoke and although Austin wasn't exactly a tea person, he was willing to drink swamp water if it came accompanied by a home-cooked meal from Y/N.

"Yeah sure as long as you don't have anything else to do." Austin would find any excuse to stay if he had to, but he was glad this one had fallen right into his lap.

Y/N dragged herself away from his embrace and made her way over to the kitchen to get the kettle warming up so she could get started on dinner.

"You can come sit at the barstools while I make dinner if you want? Dinner is gonna take me at least an hour." Austin was practically bouncing. He was in her apartment, about to drink tea on her barstools, and eat dinner that she made for him. His heart was going to burst and he couldn't bring himself to be angry over it.

Austin sipped his tea while he watched her walk around the kitchen cutting vegetables and seasoning meat. He had asked to help her several times, but each time came with an even firmer denial and a deeper frown on her lips. As much as Austin wanted to help, he would rather die than be the cause of a frown on her face.

The next hour passed with them conversing about books, music, and every other interest they seemed to have in common, which they had found to be numerous.

Y/N stirred the last of the sauce and bowtie pasta together as Austin set the table. After copious amounts of begging, she had finally offered him a job to do, much to her dismay.

Y/N plated the food and they sat in comfortable silence before Austin bit the bullet on the question he had been meaning to ask for months.

"Do you have a boyfriend Y/N? I know we've talked about my PR relationship with Kaia but we haven't talked about you." Her eyes rounded as she put her fork down to look up at him. Austin had tried to be casual about his question but the truth was he was dying to know. His insides had twisted as he awaited her reply.

"Um no, I'm not in a relationship. I haven't done well with them so I've been single for a little over a year now." She felt her cheeks warm and averted her eyes as she spoke. She hoped he was asking for the reason she thought he was. Austin was so relieved he felt a 1000-pound weight lift from his shoulders.

They made small talk as Austin tended to the dishes from dinner and Y/N made tea for the both of them. With tea in tow, they sat with stretched legs on the couch and put on a movie as white noise while they resumed their conversation.

"What did you mean earlier when you said that you 'hadn't done well' with relationships?" Austin's curiosity was eating him alive.

"You don't have to answer of course I was just wondering is all." He traced her fingers where they rested on her knee. Her eyes looked every which way before eventually landing in his.

"I guess you could say that I haven't always been lucky when it came to boyfriends. Granted I have only had 3." A hollow laugh left her lips, almost as if she was trying to cope with the reality of a situation that only she knew.

"Most of them have been... pushy about the " She paused and turned her face downward before finishing "they've been pushy about the sexual aspects of a relationship and they made me do stuff I wasn't really comfortable with." She looked at the wall behind Austin's head and avoided his gaze.

oh

Oh

He fucked up. He had royally fucked up. He had fucked up so bad there was no conceivable way of coming back from this. It was over for him. Everything he had spent the last 7 months doing was all ov-

"But, I like spending time with you Austin." She smiled so brilliantly his heart hurt. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes crinkled in the most endearing way the wider she smiled. She was breathtaking and she had no idea, and that made her all the more beautiful; to Austin at least.

★──────────★─────────★──

I hope you guys enjoyed this part! I'm gonna try to get the next one out tomorrow and I'm pretty sure it will be the last one in this series. No promises though because I'm also working on the other requests that I was sent as well as school work. (Yes I am writing fanfiction instead of studying. What's your point?) Until next time!

[captainnait]

Go ahead, infodump about Bob from Headrush. No one is stopping you

3:11 pm, 5/20/2024

You will not believe how big of a smile I got when I first saw this ask 😭😭 Like I'm genuinely so happy to talk about him, thank you,,,

Anyway, you don't need to ask me twice 💥

(Yeah, a lot of rambling under the cut, hehe)

— One of my favorite canon facts about Bob is that he REALLY hates emoticons. He mentions it two times: one time in a question, where he refuses to read out loud the category name, that is just an emoticon, and instead just calls it "that. . . thing" or smth, and the other time is in the "Don't be afraid to express your emoticons" Headrush category, where he just straight up tells players to be cautious of people who use emoticons 😭

Either he had a terrible experience with someone who used emoticons. . . Or his old man brain just doesn't understand them. Or both idk.

— I don't know if it's just an Andy Poland thing or not (it's probably is, but still—), but I just really like the way he can change up his voices so quickly. My man can literally go from "uwu im so silly" type of voice to LITERALLY the most brutal and manliest voice imaginable in just a span of a few seconds, and I think that's INCREDIBLE.

If we talk about Bob specifically though, I really like how silly his voice sounds at the end of the round, when he says "bye-bye" or other similar to that lines. It just makes me giggle, okay,,

— I don't remember the full context behind this image and the question it is from, but. Yeah. Huh.

[For some reason Tumblr just doesn't let me put this image in, but it just a screenshot of the game with red words written on the screen, saying "Bob has a "thing" for Barney"]

It's also pretty funny, since a few rounds later I got another Barney question ("Even Purple Dinosaurs Have to Die... Someday"), and Bob didn't sound really amused by it lol

— There are a lot of lines in the game, where Bob jokes/admits that he feels pretty lonely and/or isolated, which is very interesting, considering that he doesn't seem as a very introverted person or someone who doesn't go outside much.

I don't have any specific speculations on why he is like that, but I think (headcanon, I guess) that it's something that he grow up feeling like and, perhaps, still haven't grown out of it.

— In "None of the Smoke & All of the Cancer", Bob says that he finds smoking to be "sexy". It isn't very clear whether if he meant it as a joke or not, so. Eh.

— A lot of people said it way before me, but. . . This man has major dog vibes. Like, I can't pin down specific things that make me think like that. It's— It's just the overall vibe I get from him lol

— I'm pretty sure I've seen someone already make a post about it (I'm not sure though), buuuut it's pretty fascinating to me how little sexual interest Bob shows in women (compare to other hosts in the series, at least) and how little he cares for "mushy" stuff in general, valuing friendship/platonic bonds a lot more.

This probably could stem from what type of game Headrush is, since it's aimed for a younger audience - teens, who probably don't really care about love in that young age. But yeah, just an interesting thing to thinking about while in a shower.

— His relationship with Old Man is pretty weird, because he both shows extreme violence and, yet, somehow, some type of respect towards him? Like, there are moments were he shouts, yells and doesn't mind kicking Old Man for his annoying shenanigans, maybe even having a way easier time with it than other hosts. But then there are a few rare moments, where he actually doesn't mind Old Man at all and would even listen to his stories with a genuine interest.

Of course it's not something completely new to the series, but it is also makes me fairly curious, since I feel like this is the game where we get to see a lot of Old Man's personality and how he influences those around him (in the case of this game (99% of it) - Bob lol)

. . . That's it, ig. For now, i feel satisfied)

I also would really like ranting about Milan and his weirdly homoerotic relationship with Bob, buuut I need to get all the TTwM clips first, so. Yeah. That'll have to wait 💥

[findafight]

R/nance shippers are some of the first to scream homophobia/lesbophobia if you disagree with them or point out the Steve of it all, but they're the first in line to vilify Vickie, a canonically sapphic character, because she gets in the way of their ship.

It's so silly tbh. Like the ship someone likes (that doesn't erase a character's sexuality) has any say on whether or not some is/isn't homophobic.

Everybody loves pure of heart, dumb of ass and lesbian friendship until that lesbian loves her bff more than the possibility of a romantic relationship lol.

And yep. I think this is the first time I've seen a fandom vilify a female character that's a canon love interest who is getting in the way of a non canon gay ship when the gay ship is also two women. Claiming she has no personality when we see her have a similar sense of humour to Robin and Steve, like a movie Steve likes, get a bit nervous talking to a cute girl and rambling a bit, breaking up with her boyfriend because he refused to stay and help their hometown after a natural disaster. She's loyal and funny and brave. She's not the same as Robin, she does have a personality, (saying she doesn't have one and then also saying saying she's just a copy of Robin shifted to the left is also sus like.. what do they think of Robin, then?) And the fact that Vickie is canonically wlw!! Bi queen!!!

Something about it feels hinky to me. Especially when some people insisting Nancy is a lesbian do it. Now, that is a fine and reasonable HC, but acting like her relationships with men, regardless of her actual attraction to them, meant nothing to her is also not it. She chose those relationships, and while it may have been comphet, they still mattered to her? They were still people she trusted and was close to. (Honestly, exploring how those were still meaningful to her but the romantic/sexual aspects were not what she wanted from life/realizing she's gay could be interesting.)

It mostly boils down to folks valuing Romo ships above any other significant relationships, and that if it wasn't romantic and there wasn't sexual attraction, then obviously it didn't mean anything. And also possibly biphobia (especially concerning Vickie!)

I'm fine with people shipping different things, ship and let ship, I can avoid things I don't like, but acting like Steve is an irrelevant part of both Nancy and Robin's lives mischaracterizes all three of them, and saying that it would be a non issue makes it boring. At least be interesting with it! I'm not even saying Steve would have a problem with it, but that Robin would because while Steve can downplay how hurt he was by Nancy, and blame himself, Robin would at least see how bad the relationship ended and wouldn't want to rub salt in that wound. I think Steve would be more worried about Nancy hurting Robin and/or lying about how much the relationship means to her than he would be hurt, through he would have every right to be. After all, he most likely doesn't know he was cheated on, but he does know Nancy said she loved him when she didn't.

It's one of those ships that makes waaaay more sense if it's at least five years from canon (and even then it doesn't make sense to me unless it's reconnecting, because I don't see Nancy staying close to anyone in Hawkins once she gets out).

Everybody has their headcanon etc, but I think fandom is much more fun when there's a balance and Romo ships aren't prioritized over platonic ones, especially platonic ones that are canonically incredibly important to the characters