#she should say fuck. she has EVERY RIGHT!!

[magicalrocketships]

hiii do you have news on baby max ?

yes, yes, I do. important news. (this was supposed to just be a few lines but it grew).

All earlier parts can be found in this masterpost and on AO3 here.

It's You And Me (I Know It's My Destiny): Daniel's Birthday Eve (1.1k)

The day before Daniel's birthday, Max wakes Daniel up at the inhumane hour of six in the morning, patiently tells Daniel he's doing secret things in his bedroom, and that Daniel isn’t allowed in.

Daniel, blearily coming to life on far too little sleep, agrees that Max isn't to be disturbed, but rather than this meaning he gets to go back to sleep, Max puts in his breakfast order instead. He would like cheerios and apple juice, please Daniel. Daniel's suggestion that this wait until a more humane time like 6.30 is met with Max's blisteringly silent disdain.

Daniel, suitably rebuked, stumbles out of bed and prepares Max a breakfast of cheerios and apple juice, and puts the milk in a jug that he's had to buy specially because Max doesn't like his cereal soggy. Max applies milk in a systematic and occasional manner as and when required, rather than all at once like a normal person. Daniel suspects that Max's particular idiosyncrasies weren't indulged the first time around and Daniel can't be fucked trying to persuade him out of it now that he’s seven for a second time, so Max has his own milk jug and smiles at Daniel over breakfast now.

Max eats his breakfast sitting at the table, then politely requests that they call Daniel's mum and dad on the iPad. He then disappears with the iPad and Daniel's parents into his bedroom, closes the door, and Daniel is left to clear up the remains of breakfast and slowly come awake over two cups of coffee. He picks at a few dry cheerios. Contemplates a shower. He knocks at Max's bedroom door and asks if everything is okay, and he's met with a chorus of responses - Max's yes thank you Daniel coupled with Daniel's Mum and Dad's tinny everything's good coming from the iPad.

Sure. Daniel will take that. He cleans up the kitchen a bit, has a very quick shower with the door cracked the tiniest bit open in case Max needs him, then wanders between the bedroom and the kitchen and the utility room failing to do jobs and wondering what Max is getting up to with his parents. He should be enjoying the peace and quiet, with no one telling him flag facts or shoving pictures of cats in front of him and getting him to guess the breed or telling him that the Jimmy or Sassy cats are trying to knock everything off the trophy shelf again, but he wants to know what's going on. There's some very industrious paper cutting and conversation going on inside Max’s bedroom.

Max pads out of the bedroom after an hour, hands Daniel the iPad and says it's running out of charge. He also asks for the glue and if it's all right if he uses all his stickers up. Daniel's mum waves at him from the iPad, which is, as Max says, running at 7%.

"Hello, Mum," Daniel says, rooting about in the drawer for the glue sticks at the same time as unplugging the charging cable from the wall and plugging it into his battery pack instead.

"Hello, Daniel," his mum says.

"Everything okay?" Daniel asks, handing over the battery pack, the glue sticks, and the iPad to a stern-faced Max.

"Yes, thank you, Daniel," Max says. Daniel's mum echoes it. She at least waves as Max goes back into his bedroom and closes the door.

The next time Max comes out, it's to deposit the iPad with Daniel and to ask for a drink. It's both his parents on the screen this time.

"Hello," Daniel says, plugging them into the wall and obediently getting Max a cup of apple juice.

Max comes and sits down next to Daniel, plastering himself to Daniel’s side like he's Daniel's personal protector.

"How's it going?" Daniel asks, since every member of his family is apparently being weird as fuck today.

"It's your birthday," Max says.

"Tomorrow," Daniel agrees.

"It's almost tomorrow in Australia," Max says solidly. "Isn't it?" He directs his attention towards Daniel's mum and dad.

"It is almost tomorrow in Australia," his parents say, which is a lie because it's not even fucking dinnertime in Perth.

"We're going to have your birthday now," Max says.

"Are we?"

"We are," Max says. "Stay here and don't move. Please."

He pads off into the bedroom. He'd got himself dressed even before coming to wake Daniel up that morning, in his Pokemon t-shirt and shorts and his blue socks. When he comes back he's carrying a big piece of paper from his arts and crafts set and carrying Pikachu under one arm. He unfolds the paper for Daniel to look at.

It says Happy Birthday My Daniel in big coloured-in blue letters, and underneath, love from Max. There are some cat stickers on one side and Max has carefully written the name of the cat breeds (with some crossings out where he'd spelled it wrong) next to them with arrows. He's drawn a flag in each corner. There's the Australian flag, and the Italian one, and the Dutch one, and the Belgian one. He's used up all his stickers from the zoo and glued on a picture of a camel and a train and a photograph of him and Daniel and Daniel's mum and dad from when they went on holiday and they spent five days basically living in the pool. Max has had that photo stuck to his wall ever since they got back.

Daniel looks at his birthday picture. He wants to cry.

"Happy birthday, my Daniel," Max says. "Do you like it?"

"More than anything," Daniel says, and he can't help but sound a bit choked up. When he looks up at his iPad, his parents are smiling. His dad has his phone out taking a picture of the screen. "Did you help with this?"

"We were here for artistic advice and company," his mum says. "But it was all Max."

Max looks up at him. He's beaming, pleased and happy and proud. "I made it for you," he says.

"It's the best thing I've ever seen," Daniel says, truthfully, and he asks Max if he'd like a hug.

Max nods thoughtfully, then wraps his arms around Daniel's neck. Daniel hugs back.

"Thank you," Daniel says, a little sniffly. "It's lovely."

"I used up all my stickers," Max tells him, still hugging him.

"That's very kind of you," Daniel says. He kisses the top of Max's head. "We'll have to get you some more, won't we?"

"We're going to send some from Australia," his parents say. "With koalas on."

"And kangaroos," Max agrees.

"Best early birthday present ever," Daniel says. He looks down at his picture. He'll put it on the wall, he thinks. Leave it up forever.

"Love you," Max says solidly.

"Love you too," Daniel says, and Max, smiling, gives him Pikachu to hold.

"You can look after Pikachu," Max says, and Daniel thinks, forever.

[em-harlsnow]

there’s a huge difference between the way frank and terry were as parents and i’m not just talking about the ‘levels’ of abuse.

so we see that frank has his ‘good father’ moments with most of the kids. we don’t see it with ian or lip, but we see it with the other kids. we see how carl idolises him when he’s young and thinks frank is trying to save him by shaving his head when frank said he had cancer. we see how debbie adores him when frank ends up in mexico and how frank completely ruins that. we see how fiona sometimes shares these moments with her father where you can tell she loves him and cares about him, no matter what he’s done.

and then there are the very few moments when frank does actually seem like a good dad. like when he took the fall for some of carl’s drug things with the police. and when he was sober for a week and making everything fun and happy. there are probably a couple more that i can’t think of right now.

but all that makes it SO much worse when frank fucks up again. it’s as if every time he does something shitty it’s a huge shock to everyone. you can see the complete surprise and devastation on fiona’s face when she finds out it was frank who called CPS (maybe she didn’t think he’d stoop so low, but still) and when he called out sean at her wedding. you can see the anger when frank ruined debbie’s school project and the shock for everyone when frank headbuts ian.

we know frank has been an awful parent for a while, based on fiona’s stories in court and ian’s stories about being locked in the basement, but every time it’s a bit of a horrible surprise because he does good things every once in a while. it’s so sad, because lip says that he didn’t know frank would go back to his usual shittiness when he got sober again when lip was a kid.

terry was very different though. we don’t know as much about how he was when mickey and mandy and the others were kids, but we know a little. so, terry was much more physically abusive than frank was, and had fewer ‘good father’ moments. therefore, none of his kids were surprised at anything he did. mickey isn’t shocked when terry brings svetlana round, he thought terry would actually kill him.

so it’s hard in a different way, because then terry will every so often drop in a little compliment. like when mickey says that terry was ‘proud’ when he caught a knife. and when terry tells mickey he could’ve been a good son. it’s these stupid compliments which leave the kids constantly begging for that positive attention no matter how awful he is.

the bar is at a constant low for terry, so the highs seem more amazing. for frank, i think the bar is at a low as well, but slightly higher because he’s not constantly abusing the kids, he’s more neglectful, and frank has more peaks in his ‘goodness’ which make him so much worse when he has the awful moments.

frank leaves his kids with hope for a good future when he’s sober, which is always disappointed. terry leaves his kids with a constant feeling of needing to be better as they strive for his approval.

frank is inconsistent, which hurts a lot, and terry is consistent with a few sick compliments about what should be considered bad behaviour in his kids.

i don’t know if this made much sense, but i wanted to blab about the different styles of abuse and emphasises the fact that frank is made MORE awful by the ‘good’ things he does for his kids, not less awful.

[parkersgnome]

⭐️Mima Rants⭐️

I remember coming across slideshow on tik tok this about a year ago, and even *I* (as someone who used to be grossed out by proshipping) thought was ridiculous…

This is the title of the slideshow.

Just a heads up guys, just like our favorite ships, None of these stories are real.

And if they were based on actual events, wouldn’t it make more sense to make a video about that instead of making up shit that never happened?

But, Let’s go through each of these as if they were real stories, shall we?

First one

“Caleb uses the internet to deal with his trauma”, Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there.

Isn’t “Staying off the internet is beneficial for your mental health” something we learned in, idk, fucking grade school? Cyber safety PSAs in middle school? Something that dozens of people have screeched from the top of their lungs since social media was invented?

Who the heck told him that being on the internet was going to help with his trauma and improve his mental health???

His feelings are valid, I get that. He has every right to be disturbed by Sage’s writings and fantasies. However, it seems that Sage isn't encouraging these actions in real life and keeps them strictly within fiction. As long as it’s in text or art, Sage has every right to express his fantasies.

Anyways, Caleb should seek a better therapist who can teach him better coping mechanisms like going out for walks, yoga, baking, or some other fourth thing instead of browsing social media where there’s a good chance he can run into something that makes him uncomfortable.

Next one…

“Jackie is 10-”

Yeah no no no no no no.. no… NO.

10-years-old. That’s, like, what? 4th grade? Shouldn’t Jackie be watching cartoons, playing with toys, or better yet, playing outside? Why did her parents give her internet access? Why aren’t they monitoring what their elementary schooled daughter is watching online?

If Charlie was going out of her way to promote this to minors then I would say she’s in the wrong, but this story never implies whether her content was specifically targeted to and/or letting minors come on to her account.

I've never seen proshippers create accounts specifically targeting children. If Charlie makes it clear her content isn't for kids, then it's not her fault if some random little girl she doesn’t know ends up consuming it.

If Jackie thought this was normal and ended up being groomed/assaulted by her brother, then it is her parent’s fault for neglecting her online safety and allowing her to access adult-targeted content at an age when media literacy is at an all time low.

The last one

“dEGenErates LiKE hiM 🤓” 💀💀

Once again, unless you can present to me a REAL LIFE incest/pedophilia case where proshipping was involved, this is not a valid argument that fiction affects reality.

Alas, we're treating these stories as if they were real. If Trey feels compelled to SA his sister after seeing writings or drawings of problematic ships, this suggests he’s likely an untreated mentally ill individual, especially since he can't differentiate fiction from reality.

What? If Trey played GTA V and started shooting and robbing a bank because he wanted to be like Trevor Phillips, should we consider banning violent video games?

As proshippers, we do not endorse real-life criminals and genuinely terrible people. The essence of proshipping is that all negative or degenerate actions should be confined to fiction. Understand?

End of discussion.

Anyway, as ridiculous as that slideshow was, please refrain from harassing or bothering the artist who made it. They have the same freedom of speech we do, and stooping to harassment and bullying wouldn't make us any better than antis who promote such behavior.

[the-sinful-voice-witch]

Stephanie Brown and Damian Wayne

Damian's drawing of people who loves him personally offended me when i saw the lack of Talia (but fucking Ra was there! So ridiculously absurd), Duke, Jason and more importantly in my opinion the lack of STEPHANIE BROWN! Barbara and Rose Wilson never had the bond he had with Stephanie not even Cassandra and im specially Salty about Maya because all the fuss about the "adoptive sister" That showed up right in the messed up new 52 as if Stephanie wasn't literally the fucking first big sister figure he had, this is so insulting giving the fact that STEPHANIE WAS HIS BATGIRL:

The Batman's no-daughter and Damian first big sister, Steph is a Bat member that is placed along Batman's children but she was never adopted and we could say she is kinda in the same position as Barbara, they can only become official daughters if they become daughters in law.

I firmly believe that Damian can't be placed along all the people that personally wronged Stephanie because... Damian has been an arrogant jerk with absolutely every hero he has met, he looked down on his own father at first, the fucking Batman! So he literally didn't discriminate Stephanie, because even if he tried to insult her saying he was disappointed to see she wasn't Cassandra, when he actually met Cassandra he tried to undermine her as well so to me that comparation doesn't have the same weight as when she was constantly compared to other heroes by other certain characters.

The little time they had together in the Batgirl run was way too precious, the teasing and the banter and how they worked together was so good! Stephanie was so good to him! She got him to be able to behave like a kid because she noticed he didn't even know how to play, she got him to play with him in a bouncing castle, she wanted him to smile, they worked together to save Dicks Batman and i always laugh when Damian teases her about "not having a big chest", Damian dear you were so fixated on that for no reason... Maybe Steph was also his first platonic crush... I think the second was Supergirl 😂😂.

(I miss them when they were like this... I miss them everyday 😭😭😭😭)

DCeased wasn't exactly one of my favorite comics regarding plot but it has a special place in my heart for being currently the only alternative universe that represented this sibling relationship as it was always meant to be until the disappointing death that was supposed to be solved by Talia and never happened as if they forgot.

That universe gave us a beautiful present and that was the very first time someone (wonder girl Cassie) officially acknowledged Stephanie as Damians big sister and not to mention the hug! 🥺🥺🥺 he actually let himself being comforted in her arms and hugged her back, when he saw her he even called her "Steph" Not "Brown" Or "Spoiler/Batgirl" and oh my god she became his Robin 🥲 and to me she is just the perfect Robin to his Batman after all... She was also the Batgirl to his Robin.

Another thing i want to point out, when Alfred was murdered Dick still didn't have all his memories, Jason was just too angry and Tim didn't do much, Barbara isn't that close to Damian so I think they totally should have used Stephanie here, Damian really could have used a big sister... Again wasting her character but I guess they wanted to use only the closest people to Alfred and sadly it looks like Steph isn't one... But she is an important person to Damian no matter how much DC wants to erase her, she will never dissapear! I can't believe Barbara and Rose Wilson and that pop out of nowhere post new 52 Maya are in that drawing of people who makes Damian feel loved BUT NOT STEPHANIE!! Even the horrible RA is there?! But not his mother or HIS FIRST AND IN MY OPINION BEST BIG SISTER FIGURE STEPHANIE!!! DC YOU HAVE A LOT TO ATONE FOR 😤😤😤😠😠😠😠

Fortunately the author of the webtoon family Wayne adventures has a better understanding of this and gave us the precious moments they deserve:

In my head this is Stephanie with her 3 best boys, the ex, the little platonic brother that might had or might not had a platonic crush on her and who i think is her very soulmate ❤💜

[mal3vol3nt]

lfr is such a loser it's too funny, she's a zuko boymom pushing 30 and self-inserting herself onto a 14 year old, a terf and a talentless hack who uses AI in her lame fanworks like damn pick a struggle! anyone who thinks shipping an indigenous girl with a violent imperialist who was hurting and antagonizing her for 90% of the story is feminist praxis is a braindead idiot who should never be taken seriously, you made the right call not responding to zks and their shitty uninformed takes they're too worthless to warrant a response

with the way she talks about katara and femininity in general, i have no doubt in my mind that she’s a terf. like i don’t even need proof i believe you LMAOO

also i remember hearing about that ai art when i first joined atla tumblr and that’s fucking hilarious. imagine using fucking ai to create ship art and thinking it’s worth sharing with the world. cause to even use ai you have to be a moron in the first place, but to then post it and try presenting it as your own hard work?? you’re an imbecile who’d probably get winded trying to lift a pencil

i truly can’t entertain any of her posts or sokkastyles and the-badger-mole cause they all go out of their way to misinterpret every single thing about atla for the sole purpose of promoting zutara. it is not possible to beneficially engage with their posts like at all, especially when they start saying shit about how the ember island players katara was the real katara and how a 12-year-old deserves to die because he has a crush. they’re not trolls, they’re just degenerates who watched a show centered around asian and indigenous characters and decided that was a good form of media to center their sexual fantasies and unchecked racism around (because yes, it is racism)

as adults who engage with a kids’ show, it is our responsibility to interact with its characters and themes appropriately, especially since the target audience is much younger and the themes are so heavy. adults who can’t do that—who can’t interact appropriately with underaged poc characters and intellectually engage with the cultures presented in the show—deserve to be called every name in the book

atla is a fictional kids show that is humorous and at times, very unserious. the show definitely should be criticized for what it does poorly and enjoyed for what it does great. but when we, as adults, start demeaning and sexualizing underaged characters for the purpose of a ship then we have failed to be responsible with the handling of this children’s media

[moopsoup]

You walked into the apartment you shared with Satoru and Suguru, your keys clinking as you lazily tossed them onto the counter. With a heavy sigh, you made your way to Suguru’s room, your feet dragging slightly. You needed a break, a distraction from your other boyfriend, Satoru’s, stupid actions. God, how you wanted to strangle the shit outta him sometimes.

Pushing open Suguru’s door, you plopped down onto his bed with a frustrated pout, your body sinking into the plush mattress. Suguru glanced up from his book, a knowing glint in his eye. "Let me guess, the idiot did something again, hm?" he murmured, setting the book aside and sliding closer to you.

You nodded, snuggling into his chest as you recounted Satoru’s thoughtless flirting. "Satoru was flirting with this girl at the cafe. Flirting, Sugu. There’s no way he doesn’t do that shit on purpose. But anyway, she asked for his number he just brushed her off with one of his stupid charming smiles and told her I was his girlfriend. I should be happy about that, right?" You let out an irritated huff, your brows furrowing. "I don't know, it just really rubbed me the wrong way, you know? Like, he knows he’s hot as shit so why’s he entertaining other girls. But he’s aggravatingly loyal at the same time so I can’t say anything about it" you whine with a pout.

Suguru tsked, what an idiot, he thought, his fingers trailing down your side as he listened. "Mm, sounds like he knows what he’s doing," he said simply, nonchalantly hooking his fingers into the waistband of your shorts.

You shivered as he slowly slid them down, exposing your lace-trimmed panties. "I just don't understand why he has to be like that, Suguru," you sighed, your voice tinged with hurt. "He knows I don’t like it."

"Poor thing," Suguru breathed as his hand slowly went down to rub firm circles against your clit through the thin fabric. You let out a soft hum, arching into his touch as you were already soaking your panties at his ministrations. "Let me make you feel better," he murmured before pulling your panties to the side, deftly slipping two fingers into your slick heat. You whimpered, your hips rocking against his hand, his skilled digits curling just right to have you squirming as a fresh wave of arousal flooded you. "Mmm, that's it, let me take care of you," Suguru purred, his voice dripping with desire. "Thank you, Sugu" you let out a soft breath, your walls fluttering around his fingers. "Needed this so badly."

Suguru pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, his cock straining against his own shorts as he felt your arousal coating his fingers. "Don't worry, sweetheart, I’ll make you feel much better" he promised with a sweet curl of his fingers before withdrawing his hand with a reluctant sigh. You whined at the loss of contact, aching to feel his skilled fingers inside you again.

"I know exactly what you need," he murmured, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his shorts and slowly pushing them down. His thick, pretty cock sprang free, the tip drooling with precum.

You bit your lip at the sight, your body aching to be filled by him. You could see his cock a million times, and every single time without fail, you’d be dripping at the mere sight of it. Suguru wrapped an arm around your waist, guiding you to straddle his hips. "That's it, just let me take care of you," he purred, slowly easing his cock into your slick, welcoming heat.

You let out a shuddering moan as he stretched and filled you, the delicious sensation making your toes curl. Suguru's strokes were deliberate and measured, his hips rolling up to meet yours in a steady, sensual rhythm. So different from Satoru. Not that you disliked how Satoru fucked you. Satoru fucked you sooo good every. single. time, it’s just Suguru did it differently. You clung to his shoulders, your mind blissfully blank as he fucked you with such care and attention.

The room was filled with the sounds of your soft moans and Suguru's low, guttural grunts as he rolled his hips up into you. His hands roamed your body, caressing and squeezing in all the right places, eliciting shivers of pleasure from you.

"Mm, you feel so good," Suguru hummed softly, his hands on your hips, guiding you up and down his cock while he also rolled his hips up into you. You could feel every vein on his cock, deliciously dragging in and out of your walls. One hand moved from your hip to circle your clit with his thumb. Suguru didn't even have to fuck you hard and fast to have you trembling on the edge of ecstasy. As you looked down at his face, you were struck by just how breathtakingly beautiful he was. Like he was GORGEOUS. His eyes were dark with lust, half-lidded and smoldering with desire, and that look alone had your thighs trembling. Swear on your soul you could bust just at the sight.

Suguru's slow, measured thrusts, combined with the expert strokes of his fingers on your clit, had you wound tighter than a coiled spring. That look in his eyes, paired with his sensual movements, was enough to send you hurtling over the edge. With a soft gasp, your mouth falling open in a perfect 'O', wave after wave of shattering ecstasy washed over you. Your eyes rolled back as your walls clenched and fluttered around him, your entire being consumed by the blinding pleasure.

The sound of your pretty little gasps and the feel of your soaking, quivering pussy drove Suguru wild. If you weren’t on the pill, he’d put a baby in you at Mach 20 speed. With a guttural groan, he snapped his hips up, burying himself as deep as he could inside you, spilling every last drop of his cum in you.

Just then, you heard the door open, and Satoru stood there, an eyebrow raised at the debauched sight before him. "Mm, someone’s been taken care of, I see." he purred, a smug grin spreading across his face. "Round two so I can make it up to you, hm?"

[stergeon]

DID YOU SEE THE EDELGARD SWEAR VIDEO

each and every time i get one of my units killed, i hear her voice yelling “YOU DUMBASS”

[vigilskeep]

i need to wynnepost. somebody has to

[alluralater]

hey everyone, i won’t be as active for a while. got home last night super late after being on the road for 20 some odd hours. dealing with some family things and as an older sister, my priority of taking care of my siblings comes first before anything else. being on here is amazing for me but i don’t think i’ll have much time for it. reminder to please treat those in your life who are battling addiction with patience and care. i lost my older brother (sweetest person i’ve ever known and he remained that way up until his last night) to suicide and alcoholism, trauma and ptsd, depression and his feelings of hopelessness. talk with the people you care about. another of my siblings is dealing with the same and i refuse to let it escalate to such a terrifying end twice in less than a fucking year. remind the people you care about that there are beautiful things to live for. show them kindness and love. there is all kinds of misinformation out there but know this, you can make a difference for someone. don’t let them suffer in silence.

[pardonmydelays]

Did Lin say anything about Palestine? I couldn't find it and you know about everything he does

either he didn't (which is just as disappointing) or i missed it (because i definitely don't know everything). i think the first one. which makes me sad.

but it's not only about palestine when it comes to taylor, it's also about swifties sending death threats to joe alwyn only knowing one side of the story & basically treating him like a trash (one of the reasons i don't want to be part of this fandom, it's just embarrassing at this point), it's about her new relationship that feels so fucking fake (are you trying to tell me that this was a real conversation? sorry but i don't buy it), it's about so many things... that i don't even want to discuss at the moment. she's not the person she used to be & i'm sick of all of this.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

words pale to express how much I hate macron at this point

[quietwingsinthesky]

Hiiiii! So, a few days ago you were talking about the whole thing with Amy, Rory, and River. And when I saw those posts a thought arose in my head and I wish to share it with you.

Since River grew up with Amy and Rory as Mels. And Mels was Amy's best friend do you think that they ever talked about children? Since I know that it can come up when talking with friends, and like... do you think that Amy might've ever expressed whether or not she wanted children?

And if she didn't, that Mels would've had to listen to her mother say that she doesn't want children? The idea is so heartbreaking and sooo interesting.

What do you think about it?

no, no, see, you're so right and this drives me wild.

because, the way i see it, i don't think amy wanted children. she's somewhere on the 'hasn't thought about it' to 'vaguely negative feelings about it happening' range to me, which falls sharply into 'Not Happening Ever Again' post-s6. (specifically, in terms of having a kid herself, even if she could, i really don't think she would. i do love that she and rory end up adopting a kid later, because that does make sense, for amy pond who grew up alone in one universe with her family swallowed by cracks in time before the doctor helped her set it right again, for her to want to make sure another child won't be alone in the world like she was. getting off-track here.)

and that's so. because the first real memory river/mels has of amy is of amy shooting at her. and depending on how well the silence fucked up the rest of her memory, it might be one of the very first memories she has at all. that's how she met her mother, crying for help and getting a bullet instead. her mother tried to kill her, so of course, you have to think. she must have needed to hear that she was wanted, right? even if she was taken away, even if amy shot her, at some point, melody must have been wanted?

river is good at getting people to do what she wants, but she is very, very bad at subtlety. and mels is younger, has less practice, so when she wants to know this, she's just going to ask. blunt and quick, easy enough because amy's used to the way mels will open her mouth and you just have to be ready to roll with what comes out if you want to keep up. it's why they're such good friends (like mother, like daughter.)

they're nine, and mels asks if amy wants kids, and amy wrinkles up her nose and says she won't have time for children, obviously, once her raggedy doctor finally comes back. they're fifteen, and amy and rory dance will they-won't they in a way that makes mels twitchy to watch, and taunting amy about wanting to have rory's babies is a good way to get on her nerves. but amy calls her gross, tells her she's got more life planned than children would leave room for, and besides, imagine her, a mom? it'd be a disaster.

mels does. a lot. she looks at her mother and just sees her best friend instead. she's not even sure what she wishes was there, but. maybe amy's right. and besides. imagine her, a daughter, instead of the ticking time bomb she really is? it'd be a disaster.

they're sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, and on. mels stands on the outside of a love story that births a universe. and her. how do you compete with that? not that she would know, not yet, she hasn't been there. but it doesn't make her feel any less alienated when amy and rory talk in whispers about a half-remembered world that's bled through to this life, about roman soldiers and boxes and the big bang of belief.

all these memories, they never mention children. on amy's wedding day, she's different, not like someone remembering a dream but someone who lived it. rory stands straighter, won't leave her side, and they're both so much older than they were yesterday. maybe now, right? a wedding's as good a time as any to decide you want kids.

mels not being at amy & rory's wedding is such an obvious lazy way of them trying to explain why they totally didn't just throw this plot twist together at the last minute that i'm not even going to acknowledge it. of course she was at their wedding. she's their best friend. there's too many people around the doctor, and she wasn't ready today of all days, so despite this horrible burning need under her skin to strike, she stays her hand. doesn't let him dance with her because she might just tear his throat out if he gets too close. stays with amy and rory as the maid of honor should. she must have been there for the awkward questions that always gets asked, 'so, any plans for a baby?' 'when am i getting grandkids?' 'oh, you two are going to have gorgeous children together.' standing a few feet from amy in her wedding dress and watching her mother tense and grit her teeth and brush off the questions. watching her look nervously at rory but never ask if he means it when his mom asks him if he'd prefer a son or a daughter, and rory answers 'either one, some day, not anytime soon.'

god i'm just going on and on, aren't i. but really, what's it like to know that amy never changed her mind. the next time she sees them, she's already been born and stolen. i don't like let's kill hitler for. so many reasons. but there is something compelling about how recklessly river lashes out at the world, at the doctor. even her sacrifice at the end is almost suicidal, throwing all her regenerations into this man without knowing if that will even work or if it might kill her to do it. but it makes more sense in the context of someone who has reached the end of a long, long wait for some kind of indication, any kind, that her mother wanted to have her. and finally been told, no. she didn't choose melody.

[pa-pa-plasma]

kind of frustrating that people took "fat does not equal unhealthy" to mean "fat is not unhealthy." sometimes being obese IS unhealthy & excess fat can cause a lot of problems. ignoring health issues isn't progressive. real "oranges kill people with depression" moment

[monty-glasses-roxy]

For some reason, this round of meds (same dose and everything as last time) is making me have very violent Realisations and Remembering Things moments. And by that I mean the Thing I Forgot and/or the Realisations show up with a bat and see how hard they can make my brain hit the wall. So anyway.

YOU GUYS REMEMBER SPIKE THE WETFLOOR BOT??? YOU GUYS REMEMBER HER??? THE FIRST FAZBEAR ANIMATRONIC TO BE BORN FROM LOVE INSTEAD OF PAIN??? YOU REMEMBER HER???

CAUSE I JUST DID

[avatar-aaang]

oh okay so she can send out an email about staff birthdays but not the fucking schedule. got it. Priorities.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

once again thinking about a version of the story where 13 lands in sheffield three years earlier when ryan and yaz are still sixteen and a whole lot angrier

13 turning out a bit more immature bc she spends her first twenty-four hours after regenerating with these reactive and kinda fucked up kids. ryan dealing with grace and graham recently getting married or getting ready to get married. probably feeling abandoned by his grandmother after his mother and father. feeling alone with his grief. maybe kinda just has tibo to confide in. yaz meanwhile is in hell getting bullied and either recently got driven home from a running away attempt and is now dealing with the familial aftermath of that, or is planning the running away. maybe kiiiiiiinda just has sonya to confide in but probably not really. probably doesnt confide in anyone

13, still malleable and fluid, running into these messed up teenagers who reflect all her own lonely angry betrayed abandoned feelings back to her, shaping herself in response to them. they dont trust her at all to start with, but i think she'd win yaz over in a similar way she does in canon, presenting herself as an authority who listens and understands. perhaps slightly more the understanding than authority part at this point in yaz's life. maybe she lands in front of yaz actually in the hills before anita can get there. yaz is like "where the fuck did you come from" and shes like "um the troposphere i think" and yaz is like "how are you not dead" and shes like "oh i was! but then i decided maybe i shouldnt be. so. now im here :) with you!" and that kinda strikes a chord with yaz. and then the doctor's like "do you happen to have a sandwich in that backpack im starving"

then aliens happen and once they run into ryan, yaz is already won over and she and ryan recognise each other and she convinces him that, like, no shes not nuts, theres definitely aliens shes seen them

11x1 would go entirely differently obviously. maybe grace wouldnt die and graham wouldnt travel. ryan maybe decides to travel a little bit out of spite and home doesnt really feel like home, and yaz isnt having fun at home or at school either and she was running away anyway so this is not a hard decision

the emotional instability and bad decision counter of a team tardis thats just 16-year-old yaz and ryan and 13 is kind of amazing to imagine. it'd be so volatile but they'd love each other so much i think they'd be the best friends bc instead of starting off closing herself off from grief, 13 would start off having her justified and irrational anger sort of validated and coaxed out i think by yaz's and ryan's. in the tardis between the three of them there would be a place to express "nobody cares about me" whether thats true isnt the point, i think theyre all feeling it a little bit. "everyone just moved on like mum didnt matter/'tell an adult' like what are they gonna do?/okay it wasnt all their faults but all my friends are dead" you know? i think they'd be heard with each other and i think there'd be space for the injustice of it all and especially as the doctor is like a children's advocate most of all, she would take ryan and yaz seriously in a way i think they wouldnt have been by any other adult in their lives at that point. and in return they, just by being there as they are, would make room for the hurt child that 13 is and will turn out to be

and i dont have details for this but i think it would be really nice if the way 13 listens and takes seriously yaz and ryan in the first season (not like consciously or deliberately or anything, shes not trying to Do anything, this is just who the doctor is) would be mirrored in the second and/or the third when they have calmed down a bit, dealt with some of their issues at home, talked to some family members, become a little less depressed and angry etc, and they return the way she treated them when she finds out abt the timeless child and tecteun. she took their anger seriously and she took them seriously when they said "this isnt fair" and in return they can take her anger seriously, probably are angry on her behalf, and they can stop her from overcorrecting from like being 10 by pointing out to her that this isnt fair and shes allowed to be angry abt it

and when yaz inevitably gets a crush i think it shows up as a kind of out of character/seemingly regressive prickliness and snappiness toward the doctor getting more intense over the course of s12 that ryan and the doctor first are puzzled by bc like sure in the first half of s11 maybe they were all a bit snappish with each other but theyve been friends for like a year now whats this about all of a sudden? and yaz is like Nothing!!!! it's nothing!!! piss of!!! bc shes having feelings she doesnt know what to do with or how to interpret so theyre just manifesting as Angery. that same need to prove herself + probably worry abt the doctor as in canon except a lot more combative and a lot less inhibited. shes probably picking fights abt everything the doctor tells her to do. trying to provoke the doctor into actually getting mad and yelling at her or, god forbid, grabbing her, shoving her, using her hands bc yaz wont listen to words. sometimes youre 17 and horny and you dont understand you want one of your two friends in the world to kiss you bc it hasnt occurred to you that girls kissing girls is a thing that can happen. ryan figures it out first

in this version ryan probably stays until the end too - or the same as in revolution happens and yaz feels betrayed that he'd give up on the doctor so easily and feels alone in the entire world again - graham and dan wouldnt come into the picture. ryan's and yaz's family would come into the picture a little more actively. theres a lot of plot to figure out that i cant and it would be a very different era in many ways but i think it would be nice