#she tracks it everywhere and nobody has the heart to tell her to stop

[rosenbergamot]

hermitcraft grad residence au my beloved.

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 3

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note. This fanfic now has a Pinterest Board and a playlist! The vibes of this fic were just begging for them.

I get dumped on the cooking table, back at main camp.

"Somebody run down to the RV! Med-kit's in there!"

This table is for buttering toast and chopping veggies, but now, it's for me, and it's not a cooking table, it's a hospital bed.

"What in the world is going on?" Dale's hurrying over, shaking his head.

My Daddy yells, "Gimme that fuckin' rag! Now! C'mon!" 

"Where's the disinfectant?"

"A little help, over here! Hurry!"

I feel like someone's put me in a box and they're shaking it as hard as they can, tryna scramble my brains. I'm crying. Everyone's shouting at each other. Nobody in camp has ever been dying from a dead person's scratch, before, so the shouting just goes in circles and circles and circles, 'cause even though they're all adults, they don't know what to do. Nobody's taught them. I'm scared. They're scared. Everyone — Rick, and Daddy, and Shane, and everyone else — all one camp, now. All scared, together.

"Rick's woman!" My Daddy calls out. "Gimme your hands! Right fuckin' now! Somebody get me a flashlight!"

Lori comes running over, 'cause everyone's running everywhere tonight, and she's whiter than paper, and she's saying that she's so, so sorry, but nobody wants to hear that right now, not yet. Not 'til they've done everything they can. Not 'til they know. My Dad and Rick grab at her hands, and they hold her fingers up to the light, and all three of them argue over whether or not the black gunk they see underneath her nails is my blood or not. Rick thinks it's dirt, and Lori can't be sure, but my Dad bullies them into changing their minds, 'cause if it's not my blood, then that means I got no chance at all, and a kid in this camp is gonna die, and it's gonna be his. 

Glenn skids into view, waving a med-kit around. "Med-kit! I got it! Who needs it?"

"Over here!" Jacqui sticks her hand in the air, and she catches the little med-kit mid-air like a football.

Then Jacqui and Miranda and Glenn are all poking me and pouring acid on my arm and fumbling through all the different types of bandages in the med-kit. They keep dropping the sachets everywhere and cussing at each other, while the others argue, pace, and clutch their heads. I can't keep track of anything. Where'd my Daddy go? I think I say it out loud, to Glenn. I think he's too stressed to answer proper, so he doesn't answer at all. Over his shoulder, the crowd all blends together 'cause it's just a bunch of bodies and heads and eyes, all watching us, but then, there he is. My Daddy, he's here again, and he's still shouting, and breathing all hard, like a big, angry bull, pushing past people. He's got yellow cables in his hands, now. He reaches the table and loops them under my armpit, once, twice, three times, and then he knots them like a shoelace. He knots them real, real tight. They're so tight that I'm crying all over again, and he's sorry, baby, but he can't do it loose.

He tells me that we gotta do this so the germs don't spread to the rest of my body, 'cause that's where all my most important parts are, like my heart and my lungs, and he wants to keep them safe. He says people do this when they get snake bites. It's what an old-world doctor would have said, but old-world is all they got. 

"Daddy, it hurts," I'm being loud, which is dangerous, and dangerous is stupid, but nobody tells me to stop. Not even my Dad, and it's his rule.

"I know it hurts, baby. I'm sorry. Be my brave girl, okay?"

"Oh, God." Someone puffs, sick.

The cables are done, and then... Well, that's it.

After the acid and the bandages and the cables, the chaos hits a wall, and there's nothin' else anybody can do for me.

I sit there, dying, on the cooking table.

Dale must be thinking 'bout his dead niece. Shane must be thinking about our trip to the lake, today. The Grimes family are holding onto Carl. Morales' family is holding onto Eliza and Louis. Carol holds Sophia. They all look like photos that belong on a fireplace mantle, in a nice house, and I'm jealous, but only for a second. I think Rick and Lori and Morales and Miranda and Carol are all very scared for my Dad, like they're all friends, even though they ain't know a thing about him. When people are parents, no matter where they're from, or what they look like, or how they talk, they all have the one, same worst nightmare, and that nightmare is happening, tonight, for my Daddy.

He's hiding his face in my hair, 'cause Dixons don't like people seein' them cry.

"Come on," Jacqui murmurs.

I get to sleep in the RV, tonight. It's because I'm dying, and dying people get special things.

But I don't wanna get special things. I just wanna be alive again.

My Daddy used to be a mechanic, like Jim. Our mornings always went like this.

Being a mechanic means you gotta get up real early, so that's what Daddy did. His boss was a hard-ass, and he needed Daddy at the shop at seven in the morning, on the dot, every day. Otherwise, he'd fire him, and Daddy would have to go back to working three jobs again.

My Daddy would roll out of bed, dressed in his green-plaid pyjama pants and lamb-skull tank top, which was almost always covered in crumbs, and if I didn't spend the night in his bed, he would come creeping to my door and knock on it to wake me up. Then, slowly, the smell of mini sausages would stink up the house. I'd hear him messin' with the fold-out laundry rack, and cussin' to himself when it fell apart. I'd hear him switch the TV on, and then I'd hear the newsman talkin' nonsense. I always got up just in time to eat. My Daddy said I eat as much as a teenage boy, 'cause he likes sayin' things that make me angry. He said he can tell because he used to be one.

Then, he'd pull on a hoodie, grab Tank from our overgrown yard, and we'd all go for a walk around the trailer park in our pyjamas.

The sky was always white-ish, like water mixed with milk, and there was never anybody around. That means whenever Tank shat on Miss Burdette's lawn, Daddy didn't have to pick it up, and we got to watch the sprinklers come on. Sometimes, I'd ride beside him on my bike. He'd tell me how good I was gettin' at riding without my training wheels, and then he'd dare me to do a trick, like peddling without holding the handles. If I ever fell, he'd tell me I was an idiot for listenin' to him in the first place. Then, we'd reach our porch again, and the morning was over.

I miss our mornings. I think Dad does, too. This morning is very different to our old ones. The sky is still white, and my Daddy's still here, but we're in the back of Dale's RV, and there's no Tank or sausages or bike rides, anymore, and I might be dying.

I don't think my Dad slept at all, last night.

Every time I woke up, he stopped staring at the wall and hurried to palm my forehead. He asked if I needed the bathroom, and if I felt hot, or dizzy, or faint, or even just a little bit sick. I shook my head every time. I asked him to take the cables off, but he never did. Then, I fell asleep again, and we repeated it all twenty minutes later, on a loop. I ain't stupid. I know he's waitin' to see if I start gettin' sick. He's waitin' for my skin to start goin' hot, for my cheeks to go red, and for my fingers and toes to go numb. So far, the only thing wrong with me is that I keep throwing up in the RV toilet.

When I wake up again for the tenth time since last night, tucked into his side, it's morning time, and Dad's still staring at the wall.

He feels me moving and sits upright to palm my forehead. "You need to go, chicken?"

Halfway through the night, that question started including the need to vomit up the clear stuff in my stomach, as well as peein'.

I shake my head.

"You feel faint?" He asks, feeling my neck, now. "Dizzy? Like you're gon' pass out, or sum'?"

I shake my head again. "Dad, what's gonna happen to Amy?"

Amy died last night. She got a big, nasty bite on her hand, and nobody even noticed until after they were done fussin' over me. I haven't seen her, but I know she's just outside the RV window, going cold in the dirt. Poor Amy. She was nice, but even nice people die, sometimes. She used to let me borrow her hair lackeys. I'm wearing one of them right now. I slide it off my ponytail and chuck it on the floor. She's dead, but the dead people germs haven't reached her brain yet. I know, 'cause I ain't heard a gunshot, yet.

That's what you do with sick people. You shoot them. I wonder if my Daddy's gonna have to shoot me.

"Don't worry 'bout Amy." Daddy grumbles. He grabs my purple water bottle and hands it to me. "Three big sips," He orders.

I do what he says, and then I pick at the cartoon sticker on the side. "Amy. Sophia's Dad, too."

Lots of people died last night; people I didn't even know. I wish I did, so I could miss them. Everybody deserves to be missed when they die.

"Don't worry 'bout him, neither." Dad complains. "I'd kill him, if I could. 'Sides. It ain't your job to worry, chicken. That's my job."

"But Sophia," I mumble. "She got no Dad, now."

I'm already sad, but if I had no Dad, I would be very, very, very sad.

"Harley, baby. We ain't talkin' about this."

He takes the water bottle offa me, and then he picks the lackey up off the floor, and starts re-doin' my hair.

I don't really wanna talk about it, neither, so I say nothin'.

I think about Uncle Merle. Yesterday, they found his hand on a roof in the city. The rest of him weren't attached to it. I start feeling guilty all over again, 'cause when I first heard this story, I ain't even feel bad. I just felt like I got told that five plus five equals ten, and, well, I already knew that.

"And yer arm?" Dad asks, his fingers scraping through my hair to gather it all. "How's that feelin'?"

I shrug to get a better look, and prod the big, plastic square of bandage taped there.

"Stings a little."

"Well, you tell me if that changes." He mutters. "It gets worse, you tell me. It gets better, you tell me. It turns rainbow, you tell me."

What? Me? Rainbow? That's silly! Only rainbows and unicorns can be rainbow.

"It ain't gonna go rainbow!" I burst out in giggles.

His fingers stop moving. He's silent behind me.

But then I hear him chuckle, just a little, like he's decided it's okay to be happy. "Yeah. That's an order, Harley Dixon."

I tip my head all the way back, and I can see his upside-down face smirkin' at me, with that lil' mole by his mouth, and I giggle even more.

He nudges me upright. "Quit bein' silly, girl. I'm tryna do sum' here."

He twists all my hair into a knot at the bottom of my neck. I giggle even harder, 'cause it's ugly as Hell.

The door to the RV opens. Dale pokes his head in, and he looks like he's happy to see me and my Dad smiling. 

"I hate to interrupt," Dale says, "But we're about to have an important conversation, and I thought you might want to be there to hear it, Daryl."

My Dad's face is all sour again. He pinches my cheek, and sighs, and then he forces himself to his feet and he leaves.

They plod down the steps. The door shuts. I'm alone.

Suddenly, I can't remember why I was giggling at all.

I pull the hair lackey out and chuck it on the floor.

A few minutes later, I hear a loud, loud bang, and then Andrea crying.

I'm stacking dominoes in the RV dining booth, while I eavesdrop on the adults outside.

"I heard they started cookin' somethin' up at the CDC when things went sideways." Shane says. "It could be a good option for us."

"I heard the same thing." Dale agrees. "On the radio, they were talking about a cure. An honest-to-God cure."

"You really think we'd all still be stuck in this shit-hole camp if this 'cure' really existed?" Scoffs Jim.

"It could save Harley's life." Rick scolds, harsh, like the bark of a dog. I can imagine him frowning. "That's all we gotta know, here."

They're tryna figure out whether or not we should leave the quarry. They say that here, we got clean water, and fish, and we got tall trees that cover the smoke from our campfires, and we got stability and routine, which is good for something called morale. They also say they've got a dying kid, and a duty to do everything they can to help, and they're not just gonna stand around and watch — They're gonna do something.

"This could all be for nothing. We're not even sure she's infected." Argues Jim. "It's fifty-fifty."

"And we'll pray to God she isn't," Agrees Rick, but with a catch. "But for her own safety, we're gonna act under the assumption that she is."

"Hey, man. All I'm thinking about is how much gas this thing's gotta cost us." Jim sounds like he means something else, but he's not saying it.

"Really, man?" T-Dog tsks.

My Daddy pipes up for the first time, and I can hear him smack the hood of a car. "It's gonna cost you yer life, if you ain't careful."

Rick puts on his police-man voice. "Hey. Nobody's saying the gas isn't worth it. We just need to be smart. That's all."

"Well, if that's the case, then you best see this guy out," Dad sasses, "'Cause he's stupid as a bag'a bricks."

"Seriously?" Jim laughs. "I got a hill-billy calling me stupid?"

I think my Dad swings at Jim's head, then, 'cause I can hear lots of hey, hey, hey and boots crunching on pebbles. I scootch over to the curtains and sweep 'em aside, 'cause I can't stand not lookin', anymore, and I wanna see Jim get punched. All the men of the camp are huddled around a map that's been flattened across the front of Shane's Jeep, and I see T-Dog and Glenn yanking my Dad away by his shirt, 'cause I was right, he took a swing at Jimmy's head. Rick's got himself between the two of 'em, with his hands on their chests.

They've settled down, now.

"Jim," Rick warns. "I think it's best if you just sit this one out, if you're not gonna have Harley's best interests in mind."

Jim spits on the ground. "I think it's best if I do."

I watch, and the group watches, as Jim walks himself back into the heart of camp.

"You wanna talk more 'bout my daughter, you sum'bitch," Dad yells after him, "You can talk into the barrel a'my gun!"

Jim disappears into a tent.

Rick rubs his forehead, 'cause his brain must be sore on the other side. They're all prolly thinkin', God, what an asshole.

They get back to business. They talk gas, and mileage, and they use three different pens and five different pencils, and they trace about a million different squiggly lines all over the map. They poke it and hum over it and turn it left and right, and they cover it in circles and crosses, and at one point, T-Dog comes back with five more, littler maps, and they study those ones, too. They have my best interests in mind. After a while, they seem to come to a decision. A good, solid decision. Rick gives a confident nod.

"All in favor of the CDC?"

Every last one of them raises their hand.

"Let do this thing, then."

We're goin' to the CDC. It's a real important building in the city that might save my life.

After Shane shares the news, everyone starts gettin' busy.

My Dad's taking down our tent, and folding down our chairs, and kicking dirt in our campfire. He's real ready to leave.

Glenn, he's real sad, 'cause his new car is getting torn to shreds for parts and gas that we're gonna need. He's a good sport about it, though, 'cause he's Glenn, and he's a good sport about everything. Rick's helping tie ropes around all the food and slotting it all into the RV's storage, and he doesn't complain one bit, 'cause Rick doesn't complain 'bout nothing, ever, 'cause he's a goody-two-shoes. Shane's handing out walkie-talkies and coachin' people on what channels to use, and how to use 'em. Andrea's sayin' goodbye to her sister's body.

The camp is slowly shrinking in on itself, into bags and trunks and pockets. We're really leaving. I wish we weren't. I wish I didn't have to go and get scratched. I wish we could stay here forever, and eat fish feasts, and build a tyre swing, and catch frogs in the lake.

Carol and Sophia come visit me and my Dad, while he's half-way done scrunching up our sleeping bags on the ground.

He catches wind of them before they're even close. "Hell you want?"

"Shane told me to pass this onto you," Carol shrugs, holding up a walkie-talkie as they come down the hill. "And Sophia would like to talk to Harley."

Dad stops messin' with the sleeping bag. He squints at the pair of 'em. "That right?"

"Mm-hmm," Carol hums. "If that's alright with her, of course."

Dad sends me a look that asks, Do you want me to shoo them away?

I'm not friends with Sophia, 'cause you can't be friends with someone you've never talked to. But I know she wears headbands that make her ears poke out, like a little mouse, and her favorite subject at school was spelling. We held a fake spelling bee 'bout a week ago and she won by, like, a million points, and she got a candy bar. I was never that good at words or numbers. My favorite subject was sport. But I got a candy bar, too, anyway.

I squirm a little on the picnic blanket I'm sitting on. I set down my crayon. "Okay," I say.

My Daddy goes back to working on the sleeping bag, and Carol talks to him 'bout the walkie. Sophia sits across from me.

Her Mom said she's got somethin' to say to me, but she's not sayin' a whole lot of anything.

Then, she mutters, "I'm sorry you might be dying."

Oh. I'm not sure what to say.

"My Mom told me you got scratched." Sophia's twirling her grubby shoelaces. "And that you might die. And that it was my Dad. I'm sorry."

I've gotten stares, and frowns, and tears, and I even got a pat on the shoulder from Glenn, but I haven't gotten any sorries. Not to my face.

"Don't be sorry," I say, 'cause sorry is only for when somethin's your fault. "I might not even be infected. It's fifty-fifty."

Last night, I was gettin' nightmares about Sophia's Dad. I saw his rolling, wet eyes and his nails — the ones that are the reason I'm half-dead — digging through my insides and throwing them over his shoulder, like he lost somethin' at the bottom of my organs and he was tryin' really hard to rip it out, snuffling like a warthog. I was sweatin' and screamin' and cryin' and my Daddy had to lay me on my stomach and lift my shirt up, and pet circles into my skin to get me to calm down.

It was real scary, but not Sophia's fault.

"Well, I'm— I'm still sorry." Sophia tells me, anyway.

She's eyein' the cable-knot on my shoulder. At least I'm fifty-fifty. Half-dead, half-alive. Sohpia's Dad, he's dead and gone, forever.

"I'm sorry 'bout your Dad," I try to smile.

Now, Sophia's not sure what to say.

"Don't be sorry." She decides on. "I don't think I miss him."

"You don't?" Aren't all Dads supposed to be missed? I'd miss mine. Real, real bad, every day. "Why not?"

"He was mean. He hit me."

Oh, that's nothin'. "My Daddy hits me, too."

Her eyebrows go shootin' up. "Really?"

"Yeah."

Sophia's Mom calls her name, with her hand held out, and she says they're heading back to camp, now, so say goodbye, and hurry along. Sophia glances at me, and she mutters another sorry. Then she scampers away, and she reminds me of a little mouse, again. My Dad's finished with the sleeping bags, now. He throws them in the bed of the truck and then all that's left is the blanket I'm sittin' on. He tugs on the corner and says, c'mon, girl, get. I pick up all my crayons. He folds the blanket like a giant piece of paper, and then he pins it under his arm.

"You ready to leave, chicken?" He holds out his hand, like Sohpia's Mom did.

I take one last look at the trees, and the campfire, and the spot my Uncle Merle's tent used to be. I say, goodbye, to the quarry in my head.

Then I grab my Dad's hand, and we walk away. 

Author's Note. It might not seem like it, because there's only 3-5 scenes in every chapter I write, but I spend so long on them 😭 This one, overall, took roughly eight hours, plus editing. I almost don't believe it.

I hope you enjoyed sassy Daryl handing Jim's ass to him, ahah. He used to be such a menace in the early seasons.

This chapter didn't go out with a bang, which I prefer over milder endings like this one, but that's what the story called for! I don't choose. I just write. In the wise words of Michelangelo, "The sculpture is already in the stone. All I have to do is chisel it out." Haha.

Also, sorry Amy. She just couldn't escape her canon death.

As always, thank you so, so much for reading and commenting. I hope you take a look at the playlist, but the Pinterest board especially. I really think I managed to find the perfect pictures to represent this fanfic, which makes me so excited. I hope you look forward to the next chapter! :)

[griffin-wood]

what is grief, if not love persevering?

premise: lya visiting rook's grave after a while. flashbacks and grief became evident in one. (the wayhaven chronicles).

a/n: well, I caved and wrote this to explore more about rook and lya (especially after that b3 ending) , the memories.. and the grief surrounding it, and ghad, it's a good thing that I didn't cry writing it. But, whoever you are; if you're dealing with it also; I hope you're taking care of yourself and you're doing okay. enjoy. ❤️‍🩹

cw: death mentions.

The weather today was on the scale of perfect in wayhaven, the sun shines above her yet, it isn't too hot for the day. She believes everything happens for a reason, either good or bad. But, for Lya; she tends to believe the former.

Her steps quicken at the sight of the cemetery, before she halts to a stop. The tulips in hand, as she takes out her phone. He told her to inform of her arrival, as he'll join her soon enough.

Everything is prepared, as she starts her walk through the city. Spring feels nice, as she makes her way to the local florist in wayhaven. The sight of blooming flowers of the season bring a smile to her face, but the pollen does pull out a sneeze out of her.

She walks slowly, somehow taking her time here. Something about today tells her to slow down, enjoy the sights and she did. The way the sight of the leaves caught her attention as she pass them by, the towns people with their families enjoying the spring day. It's a familiar sight of her, this has become her home for far too long, and the normalcy has been a pleasant sight as of today.

'im here.'

The text bubble immediately appear, as her lips raise into a smile.

'i'll join you soon. stay safe.'

-

She steps into the quiet, as her eyes laid upon the number of tombstones being side by side of one another. Her gaze falls upon an elderly man, placing flowers on top of another grave. The man looks up and meets her eyes, tipping his hat down, as she sends a smile his way.

Her steps were filled with dried leaves, and branches that interrupt her steps. Her tracks stopped at a familiar tombstone, as she kneels down below. Placing the tulips there, and dusting off the leaves over it.

"hey dad." She greeted him, as she always does. The last time she visited was two months ago, she hasn't had time for her usual monthly visits due to work, but thankfully her schedule today has cleared up.

The quiet around her, fills her lungs as flashes of memories was played in the back of her mind. The ones that she could, and try her best to remember of him. Rook. Dad, father, papa. Anything works as she smiles at the fond memories.

"I'm going to big city soon with adam, and honestly - I forgot how it is out there. I don't think I ever left wayhaven, because partly, it's home. And..." She pauses, biting her tears a little before she continues.

"it's closer to you, I never got to see you as much lately. And I'm sorry." She breaths in, and smiles.

"but, I promise we'll be back. It's only for a month, we're going to be saving people - just, like what you've always do too." She says excitedly, that's always a trait she knows she'll share with him.

Her gaze falls upon the area, it's so peaceful. So quiet for her liking, as the old man from before has maybe left for home. Her gazes fall onto the other tombstones, and her heart ache at the loss. This is the reality, nobody lives forever; even forever is just another metaphor as death is the one thing that separates it. The thought bring a sad feeling in her heart, one day she'll be under too. She'll be here too, maybe her kids will visit her if she ever decide to have them.

"and, it's also my birthday today. I treated myself to a cupcake, which I apparently baked myself. Yeah, funny thing I can finally bake now without making a mess everywhere." She chuckles at the statement too, remembering an old memory.

"Mom always doesn't let me play with the kitchen appliances, but I remember we used to do that. She wouldn't always approve, but she smiled when the flour begins to cover our faces instead of the bowls." She recalls a lil bit, and smiles.

The silence that follows feels dreadful, for someone who adores solitude. She remembers old times, maybe something about 5 years ago. The same person, yet her life was different than today. A life she never expected, and today it still changes with everything she discover. Yet, the quiet never gets easier.

She gazes around her, the empty graveyard; a familiar silence yet it breaks her heart to think about it. And as she looks back at her late father's tombstone, she felt her composure falter. The similar feeling she felt when her grandparents passed away, the hollow feeling to know they'll never come back. And the feeling she's feeling with him, with her father; an unresolved grief. All the love she did not know where to place, but she did anyway. She placed all the unresolved love, into her work, into her hobbies, into herself, even into her cupcakes, yet there's still a lot more to give.

She didn't realize, as the tears fell down; staining her vision, as she sobs quietly.

Her phone beeped once again, earning her attention once again.

'Napkins are in the left pocket.' The text from Adam brings a small smile over her face, as she takes it out. He always does pack a spare one for her, it's perfect for an emotional human like herself.

"I think; no matter how long it has been. I don't think I'll ever not cry when I step my foot here. I'll always be your emotional little Lya." She says with a weak smile on her face, and she remembers it too.

-

Lil Lya was wild, she's a firecracker and sweets combined in one. But, when she cries; everyone would stare wondering where did the racket came from? And Rook would come forward, pulling lil Lya in his arms; leaving the premise as he cheers her up either with more candy (shhh, we don't tell mom that!), toys, or maybe music. Whenever she cried, she always try to find him - especially when rook's at work. Rebecca's lullaby's of rook's favorite songs calm her down, as it always did.

"Don't you think she cries too much, son?" Grandma said, to Rook who's holding an crying Lya in his arms.

"Lya is allowed to cry mom, she's my little Lya. And honestly, I don't care because this is the moment where she'll come to me when she cries. I know for sure, when she's grown and wiser; she would tell cry to her friends instead. I think I'll enjoy what I can have right now mom, the sadness, the happiness, the down and ups before she enter the big girl alley where I don't think I'm no longer needed." He explains with a wistful smile, not knowing that his life, was cut short - and he never got to witness his little girl growing up into this wonderful woman.

He holds lil Lya, who's eyes are rimmed with red. The doughnut toy in her hand was held tightly, as he says, "you'll always be my little girl. I'll always here to wipe your tears away okay?" Rook wipes her tears and held her close, as Lya founds herself into a tight embrace, immediately falling asleep in her father's arms and it feels just right.

-

She wipes the remaining tears away, before placing the tulips down. Courtesy of the warehouse gardens, her home away from home. Nate and Farah helped her in compiling and matching the colors, which she appreciates it very much.

"Here's some flowers, from the family in the agency dad. Farah and I picked the colors, but I hope you like them." She says, her fingers tracing the tombstone. Smiling weakly, before standing up again.

The footsteps were heard pulled her attention, away; as Adam stands by the entrance. In his jacket, as he waited for her. She nods his way, and this is her cue to leave.

She takes a deep breath, before saying.

"Its time we say goodbye again, dad. I'll have to leave for the city soon, but we'll be back okay? I love you, and I miss you." Lya says, before saying her farewell to him. There's a hint of sadness fills her lungs, but it's good to come back here. And, the heaviness on her shoulder has been released, the stricken grief within her heart was cured through the little things, however; it can't be cure forever.

But, with all the love that originate from grief, becomes a motivator to move forward. To love, to live, to open up, and she's trying her best to do all of that. For the sake of herself, and her father too. She knows he would want her to continue to live; continue living despite everything.

And as she stop to meet his eyes, gentle green eyes met with her brown ones. She knows she had lived, one for the greatest adventures and she wishes, her dad was here to see her alive, and well.

Deep down, she knows; he's watching after her. Every step of the way, and that belief keeps her going every day for the rest of her life, as the man in front of her hold his arm out to her.

"ready to go?" Adam says gently, as Lya turns to face rook's gravestone once again. She smiles, before nodding taking his hand.

"as ready as I'll ever be." And then she left to the unknown, with her heart more full than ever.

THE END.

[becomingbts]

Time heals (sometimes) - 1

Summary: 6 years ago, (Y/N) thought that she was finally taking her life into her hands, leaving behind a toxic and abusive relationship with a man who taught her she’d never be worthy of love. However, it became hard to ignore his words when she met her seven soulmates who rejected her without even giving her a chance to prove herself. It took (Y/N) 3 years to realize that it wouldn’t be her end. She would live on to prove them all wrong; she would become what they all thought she wasn’t: someone worthy of love. And as she stands proudly on the stage, under the  burning spotlights and the applause and  the cries of the delirious crowd, she feels alive. Alive, just like the bond she believed to be broken.

Pairings: Y/N x OT7

GENRE: Soulmate AU!, Idol Y/NAU!, semi social-media AU!, ANGST (mainly), fluff, romance, maybe smut in the series.

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Warnings:  The series is going to be heavy with a lot of personal experiences  mixed into the fiction, so this is going to be kind of therapeutic for me. Please, consider not reading the series if you are not comfortable with: abandonment issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, self-harm (not descriptive and only part of MC’s past), suicide thoughts (in the past), toxic behavior, toxic and abusive relationship (in the past), depreciating self-talk and low self-esteem, a lot of curse, physical and mental pain, near death experience situation (in the past), and maybe smut scenes (happy ending though, but it will probably be quite the ride).

NOTE: So hello everyone, welcome to Time Heals (sometimes). Thank you so, so much for the warm welcoming, it has been my first time getting so many asks, I was honestly overjoyed. I still don’t really know what to call this part; is it a teaser? A note? A full chapter? I believe we’ll get some snapshot of memories like this one throughout the series because there is going to be a lot to unpack on both sides. I think it will be a chapter nevertheless because I have to establish some kind of order as to which parts should be read first, and I think this one is extremely important.

Thank you for reading,

-Dolly

Profiles #2 - here - part 2

Her scream pierced through the air while cries broke in the frenzied arena while a single blond-haired man froze, emptily staring at the stage. It felt like his senses heightened; his skin was shuddering, his eyes were frantically searching for one specific figure while his voice was lost in his throat. The screams resonating in the stadium would have been too loud for his voice to be heard anyway. 

Jimin knew he shouldn’t be there. 

Namjoon had told them more than once that none of them should try to go to one of (Y/N)’s events. It could be dangerous and they could be overwhelmed; anything could happen to them and they would still remain a nobody who fainted in the howling crowd. Would they want to take this risk? No.

So, Jimin would have had to admit that going to her very first concert in Seoul since the pandemic sounded like a very, very, very bad idea. And to be honest, it still didn’t seem to be a bright idea now that he was actually there. 

But he still went because he needed to see her for himself; to see how she was. He had so many things he dreamed about asking her. Are you okay? Are you sleeping well? Did you eat before coming to the arena? Are you nervous? Do you... remember me? 

Maybe he was torturing himself. He kept on watching her lives, following her on all social media, always made sure to leave a sweet comment, and never miss any of her new updates... Maybe he even had a folder of pictures of her on his phone but he’d never admit it to any of his mates. Taehyung would probably take his phone away from him and delete everything and Jimin couldn’t let that happen.

He felt like it was cheating. Don’t take him wrong though. When he thought that, he was not really thinking about the boys. They did collectively agree not to follow her activities as an artist but it was getting harder and harder with how popular she got anyway. Moon was everywhere. In commercials, on the radio, her songs were on the TV… Even if she was known for refusing most of the promotional contracts that were offered to her, her image was still constantly in the media despite her avoidance of it. Ironic, but the media were trying their best to find anything about her, be it positive or negative. One day she was seen on her bike, the next, she was in a coffee shop, and it kept on going on, overstepping on her privacy as if it was just a meaningless word. 

The lockdown had admittedly played a major part in Jimin’s obsession. Being in their apartment meant quickly running out of activities, and his job as a dance teacher was not really filling his free time (a lot of his classes were also canceled). It was also during that time that (Y/N) truly blew up as an independent artist. Advertisement on YouTube started being around her channel and her music, the recommendations he kept on seeing were about also her… Jimin’s resolve honestly broke easily. It was hard not to be curious about his lost soulmate even though he didn’t feel like he had the right to be hurting. 

Anyway, to come back to his main point, if Jimin felt like he was cheating; it was mostly for her. After all, (Y/N) had no means of letting the curiosity get the best of her, to know what they were doing; to simply see or contact them. He had, at first, not really thought about that. Watching her content seemed a very innocent thing to do in his opinion; billions of people were watching her content, why should he prevent himself from doing so? Yet, Jimin could still remember one of her live she did soon after that interview she had given on this damned radio show where she had revealed who her title track ‘TIME’ was about… She had gone live the next day-Jimin had jumped on his phone because of the notification-and one fan had asked her what would she do if she knew that her ‘ex-soulmates’ (and those words left a very sour taste in Jimin’s mind) were watching her. The question had silenced a previously restless Jimin, replacing his initial excitation with dread while a lump formed itself in his throat. He had not even noticed it; he was so focused on her live and her upcoming answer that Jimin had completely missed the sound of a glass breaking in the apartment. Jimin had been home alone, so even if had indeed heard it, he probably wouldn’t have bothered to check what had happened, thinking that the wind knocked it over or something. Jimin had been so absorbed by what he had been watching that he even got surprised a few hours later when Seokjin came home and yelled at him for breaking something when he had been clearly innocent, engrossed in (Y/N)’s live (not that he could tell his soulmates about that part, but yeah). (Y/N)’s live would always be more important than some random glass breaking again in their apartment. Every object was doomed with Namjoon living here anyway.

On her side of the screen though, (Y/N) had seemed taken aback as she had read the question and had gritted her teeth gently. She had seemed to be pondering about her answer even though a lot of people in her chat were telling her to forget about the question if it made her uncomfortable (a lot were even scolding the person who asked). Yet, sighing softly, she had looked up at the screen: 

“I’d appreciate it if you could refrain from asking questions on this topic. It’s not taboo but I’d rather not remember everything that comes with it. However, to answer this-hopefully-last question about it, I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. It would only be fair after all. I’ve been denied access to their lives six years ago, why would they get a free pass into mine now?” She had not smiled nor had she seemed hurt by her own comment, yet Jimin’s heart had shattered in pieces, unable to press the cancel button. 

Her voice had slowly faded into background noise while her words had been stuck in his head. 

I’d ask them to turn off my stream and to stop watching any of my content. 

How could Jimin ever do that? He realized that he truly should. Namjoon would even agree with you, as ironic as it sounded for Jimin. Namjoon had been one of the most adamant ones about rejecting your bond, after all. Jimin was shaking with bitterness while ‘Moon’ continued her stream peacefully with music. Jimin could only try to gulp his anger down as he remembered her crumbling features on that fateful day. 

“You’re not our soulmates. This name on our arms means nothing to us. You are nothing to us if not a hindrance. Leave us alone.” 

If Jimin could go back in time, he’d prevent Taehyung from spatting those words at her. Yet, he couldn’t do anything. Playing the scene over and over in his mind wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t change that she probably hated them. It wouldn’t change the song she made about them. 

And worst of all, it wouldn’t change the fact that Jimin had let himself believe that their choice had been for the best, trying to console and reassure himself, even if he had already known that it was wrong. Tears were pooling up in his eyes even if none escaped as he finally caught a glimpse of her on the stage. Suddenly brought back to reality after his subconscious memory trip, Jimin finally connected back to the world, looking around while he was still frozen on his spot. People were still screaming around him and he wondered if he looked like an intruder. Because, after all, wasn’t that what he exactly was? She said it herself that she didn’t wish for them to watch her; so what was he doing here? 

Jimin couldn’t help but stare; she looked ethereal, dressed like a queen in the middle of a sold-out arena. People were screaming her name as she yelled her infamous ‘hi people’. It was an opening sentence that Jimin heard way too many times in her vlogs and suddenly hearing it in real life seemed surreal. 

Jimin could only watch in awe, entranced with her everything. 

Screw the boys and what they would think once he’d be back from her concert. 

He had been the one to find her six years ago anyway. He had been the one to bring her to their home six years ago, hoping for the boys to change their mind once they’d meet her.

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Uploaded : 09/04/2021

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[random-imagines-blog]

Blood Games {John Blake x Reader Oneshot}

Requested by: Anonymous Wordcount: 2484 Summary: Yours and John’s children never come off the school bus.

Deep in your heart, you were always afraid. Afraid of what would happen to John on the job, afraid of some sort of retaliation against your family because he really was such a good cop, afraid of the corruption inside of the department making it’s way into your husband’s heart. John was one of the good ones. That’s why you married him. But there was just so much of it, shown by the way that the villains had been taking over Gotham. It seemed like it was only one thing after another. If you didn’t have so much love for the potential that this city really could be, you would have packed your family up years ago and tried to hit the road, go somewhere safer. But Gotham was home. It was where John’s heart was. It was where your kids seemed happy. 

Any minute now, they would be getting off of the bus, and running into your arms. You were waiting at the stop, looking down the street with a couple of the other mothers, listening to the latest gossip. Something about a stepmother over-stepping their bounds. You were lucky you never had to deal with that. You were one of the few undivorced mothers on the block. You had no complaints about the father of your children. Your marriage was still a happy one.

Five minutes went by. Still no bus. You were starting to feel anxious. Started to pace back and forth. “It’s okay, you know how traffic is,” One of the other mothers said to you, putting their hand on your arm. You weren’t the fondest of being touched but you knew she meant no harm so you put a smile on your face.

“I’m sure that’s the case,” You said, trying to convince yourself. You kept on checking your phone. There was nothing from John. Surely he would tell you if there was some sort of case by the school. It wasn’t so far away that you wouldn’t  have been able to hear if there was some sort of bombing, like there had been at the hospital not too long ago. You texted John, not being able to help it. He texted you back right away.

‘Nothing called to us at the station. Call the school?’

You’d wait another minute. And then you would. The secretary picked up, though she sounded out of breath, like she was on her way out. “Hi, this is Mrs. Blake,” You introduced, though they knew you well. You were very involved in their school life, taking part in all of the fundraisers and the field trip. Your family really was your life.

“Hi y/n, how can I help you?” She asked.

“Sorry to bother you, but has there been any sort of delay with the buses? I’ve been waiting at the usual stop for about ten minutes now and it hasn’t shown up yet. Or is there some construction near the school that I’ve managed to miss?”

“Oh, that’s odd. Let me just see if I can track it down for you. You know what Gotham is like, there’s construction everywhere. I’m sure that there’s a reason for it...”

You heard some tapping of a keyboard on the other line. Some clicking of the mouse. And then a hmmm sound. “No, I can’t see any reason why there would be any delays. Are you sure that it wasn’t early?”

“I’m positive,” You said. You looked around at the other mothers who were turning to you, the policeman’s wife, for information. You were the only one who was thorough enough to make the call. “If they circle back for any reason, would you give me a call please?”

“Of course,” The secretary assured. You hung up and felt all of the eyes upon you. You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant but your heart was beating a thousand times a minute. Sweat was beginning to come down on your palms. You didn’t like this. You did not like not knowing where your children were. You moved a couple of steps away, and you called John. He picked up at the second ring.

“Where are you?” You asked immediately, hoping that he was near the school. But your heart sunk when he told you that he was on patrol in the downtown area. “Nobody knows where the school bus is. John - John, I feel like I’m going to be sick. I have a really bad feeling about this.”

“I’ll be there soon,” John said, and ended the call. You stayed. You weren’t going anywhere, just in case there was a chance that the bus would be coming. That’s what you were hoping for. What you were praying for. Any glimpse of yellow and you were standing on your tiptoes, looking down the street. But nothing. The bus didn’t come. The other mothers called their husbands. Called the school. Called the police. And were looking to you as the policeman’s wife on what they should be doing.

You tried to hold strong. You kept your back straight, kept looking down the road. Any second now, any second your babies were going to be back in your arms where they belonged.

John pulled up in the cruiser, the lights flashing but the siren wasn’t on. “No sign of them?” He asked. You shook your head. Oh my god, how you just hoped that he would hop out of that thing and would hold you. Would tell you that everything was going to be alright. You always believed it coming from him. He was the most honest person that you knew. And the fact that he wasn’t saying that, wasn’t doing that, told you that maybe everything wouldn’t be alright.

“Look!” One of the other mothers said, pointing down the street. You turned and to your great relief, you saw a yellow school bus making it’s way down the street. You’ve never felt so happy to see the color yellow in all of your life. Your hand went over your heart, but you still felt that sick feeling. What on Earth had happened? You had some words for the bus driver. And by the looks of things so did John. And the other mothers. John finally got out of the car. But he kept the lights on.

The school bus pulled to the side. The door opened. The driver looked pale. The kids coming off looked sick. Three kids - four - five - sometimes yours liked to come off of the bus last because they were saying a long goodbye to their friends but-

But they weren’t coming off of the bus.

John marched on up those stairs, going straight to the driver. Stared at them, and asked his questions. The other mothers were looking at you, holding their own kids tight. Nobody seemed to move. Two of the younger kids were starting to cry. Your hands were shaking. The mothers were asking their kids what happened but they were too upset to say. They kept on looking at you, bottom lips trembling. You crossed your arms in front of you, waiting for John to come out, waiting to find out what happened to your babies. Was there a medical emergency? No, they would have reached out. You had your cellphone with you. There was no excuse.

John eventually came down the stairs. The door closed behind him. The bus continued on. “We need to go down to the station, now.” He told you, taking hold of your hand. He didn’t look so good himself. He was about the same shade of pale as the bus driver. He then seemed to take notice of, for the first time, the group of women who were looking to you, to him. “It’s okay guys, you can head on home. We have your numbers if there’s anything we need.”

“Okay,” The one closest to you said. They put their hand on your shoulder for a moment, giving it a reassuring squeeze, and then they all went to take their children back home. You knew that they were good people, but you also knew that they were glad they were not in your position right now. You gave them a little wave, and that was the end of you holding yourself together. As soon as you were in the front of the police cruiser, your first time in one of these actually, you let loose, tears flooding your eyes, your body turned entirely to your husband.

“Where are they, John? Where are our babies? What the hell happened?” The questions were coming out before you could stop them. And John, although he was nervous to say anything - he told you what the driver had told him.

Agents of Bane. Coming onto the bus. Calling for your kids by their names. Bane knew their NAMES. And the reason for the hold up was because your children were smart and they didn’t give themselves up. And none of the other children on the bus gave them up either. Nor the bus driver. It took them rustling through the bags to find something with their names on them to find your children. And then they were taken. The bus driver was so shaken, not knowing what to do, that their body went into autopilot, taking the rest of the kids home.

“He’ll be coming by the station after to get a statement,” John said, one hand on the wheel, the other on your thigh. Normally that would be pretty sexy, you loved when he touched you, but nothing in this moment felt good. Nothing felt like it would be good again.

-

The Batman was dead. But with him went the bomb that would have destroyed Gotham as you knew it. And those that had brought the bomb into the city. Bane. Talia Al-Ghul. The same people who had taken your children. The same people who had trapped most of the city’s police underground - but thankfully, not your husband. You didn’t know what you would have done if he had been missing too. You would have lost everything.

You and John were rushing to one of the precincts in the city. Your children. They had found your children. You were a nervous wreck, biting on your nails until they bled. John was driving a little more recklessly than usual. Swerving around traffic. Sirens blaring on the top of the car despite this not being a city emergency. But it was a family emergency. You couldn’t wait much longer.

John, with his longer legs, went in ahead of you, but you were close by on his heels. Your eyes scanning every face inside of the precinct. The weary and tired and underfed cops were milling around, trying to catch up on their work. Trying to deal with all that had happened inside of the city during the last couple of days. But then you saw him - Jim Gordon, out of the hospital, looking older than you had ever seen him, sitting on a bench with your daughter and your son, their little legs to small to even reach the ground from where they were sitting.

You heard their names being called out. It took you a moment to realize that it had been you, without realizing it. Their heads turned toward you and it was like the world was going in slow motion. Your daughter’s braids were frazzled, but still somehow being held together. You had done them for her days prior, when she wanted to look pretty for school. Two falling down around her shoulders. And your son with those eyes that he had inherited from his father - those dark brown eyes that one could just fall into endlessly. The wide smile. Two missing front teeth. That was a new development. They stood up, crying out, ‘Mom! Dad!’

Tears welled up in your eyes making everything blurry. You fell onto your knees and felt your daughter wrap her arms around your shoulders. You took in the smell of her hair, that natural sweetness that little girls seem to have. The smell that you had inhaled through her pillow each night because you needed something of her close to help you drift off. Your son, too. He was beside you, and then you were enveloped in an even bigger hug by your husband.

“They’re unharmed, we had a doctor check them over,” Gordon was saying, but it was in one ear and out the other. “A bit malnourished and in need of a bath but they’ll be fine.”

“Thank you,” You said into the fabric of your daughter’s jacket, your voice coming out muffled. But Gordon seemed to have heard you either way. You felt a pat on your back and then the old Commissioner limped away, given you and your family some somewhat private time. There were plenty of looks from other officers, but most of them were friendly. They were smiling. This is why they had gotten onto the police force. For moments like this when everything turned out okay.

John’s lips brushed past your forehead, and then on that of your daughter, and then your son. “Thank God. Thank God,” He muttered over and over again. Looking at you. Looking at your kids. Checking them over despite Gordon’s words. He had to  be certain that they were okay. “I’m never letting you go again. Any of you.”

“How am I going to take a bath then, daddy?” Your son asked, looking up at him with a scrunched expression. “I’m not taking one with you or her-” He pointed at his older sister. You almost rolled your eyes. Leave it to them to start bickering after being rescued. Siblings. They never change.

“Your daddy will give you a bath when we get home, and I’ll give your sister one,” You said, rubbing his back up and down. “And then we’ll have a big dinner. Whatever you want baby.”

“McDonalds?” Your daughter ventured hopefully.

“Pizza?” Your son asked.

You and John looked at each other and for the first time in days, started to laugh. “McDonalds and pizza,” He confirmed with a nod, getting back onto his feet, lifting your daughter up  in his arms the way that he used to when she had just been a little girl.

True to his word, John didn’t let any of you go for a couple of days, until it was time for school. This time, he took them each morning. He picked them up each afternoon. No more school buses. No more fear of where they could be. No more waiting by the street for the yellow bus to come. It was rough going forward, trying not to helicopter parent but when your father is a cop, you get sort of used to that thing. Your kids were strong. Resilient. They bounced back despite their fear.

Just like their father.

[nbrook29]

Kiss or Slap

Sander doesn’t remember when exactly their group made the riverside near the Scheldt their new hangout spot, but he couldn’t be more grateful for it as a cold breeze washes over his overheated body, providing a momentary relief against the scorching heat falling from the sky. It’s probably why the park is fuller than it usually is on Thursday afternoons, packed with people spread on their picnic blankets, searching for a bit of shadow under the big trees and desperately craving a bit of wind. 

It’s so hot he doesn’t even feel like sketching, preferring to just lie on the grass without moving a single muscle, and dying in peace. Even the enticing smell of cinnamon rolls that Noor brought with her isn’t enough for him to reach out and take one from the basket, the action requiring too much movement on his part.

“Guys, come on, we have to start or we’ll never get it done! Sander, get your lazy ass up.” He grunts when he feels Leon’s merciless fingers jabbing him in the ribs.

“Can’t we wait until it gets a little less hot?”

“No, cause that’s not happening in the nearest future and we need new content,” Nathan butts in, followed by Noor, which makes Sander officially outvoted. So he heaves a deep sigh, puts his shirt back on and ruffles his hair to make himself more presentable, rolling his eyes at Noor’s appreciative whistling.

“Someone’s gonna snatch himself a bunch of kisses today with that smoldering look,” she teases, pretending to give him a once over.

“Is that your way of telling me you want one for yourself, sweetheart?” He’s immensely proud of himself when her entire face scrunches up in disgust.

“Eww, no, feels like incest at this point.” Which is kinda true given the fact they’ve known each other since kindergarten and became best friends making sand castles. He fires an obnoxious wink at her, fully anticipating a shove which comes as expected within seconds, with Noor calling him a creep in between laughter.

“Who should we start with? Senne? Wanna go first?” Sander watches as Leon takes out his camera equipment and checks the settings as the rest collects their things.

“I guess, yeah. And then Nathan after me?”

“I’m not doing it, man, you know Britt, she’s gonna flip out.”

“Be a good reason to break up with her,” Sander mutters under his breath, not really feeling apologetic when Nathan shoots him a glare. It would be a long time coming, and honestly, Sander can’t wait for that moment to come. Just being in her presence gives him chills, she’s that much of a horrible person. A few years ago, he read something about alternate universes and sometimes when he looks at her he can’t help but think there’s a history there with the two of them, in a past life or something. At least it would explain that weird energy between them.

If it’s true, he feels very sorry for that Sander. 

He roots for him to run far away from said devil’s spawn.

“I can go next, I don’t have the ball and chain,” Noor says innocently, but she’s smirking over Nathan’s shoulder at Sander who pretends to high five her in their shared hatred for Britt.

“Yeah, us lonely birds will sacrifice ourselves and take the hit for the wellbeing of our channel,” Sander laments playfully, making Senne snort.

“Dude, you’re on your own by your own choice.”

“And pickiness. Don’t forget pickiness,” Noor adds smugly.

Sander huffs in protest. “I’m not picky! I just...” He cuts off because he’s not about to just explain it all now.

“Just what?”

“Specific about what I want.”

Brown curls, brown eyes, shortish, lean, pierced ear, cute giggle, elegant hands and a smile brighter than the sun. 

To be exact.

“Yeah. That’s picky.”

“Whatever,” he replies grumpily, and decides to ignore Noor’s knowing look. Sometimes he feels like she has a sixth sense and can read him like a book. Or she’s just less oblivious than the boys in their friend group. That’s a totally possible option too.

Thankfully, she doesn’t push him further (she’s awesome like that), though Sander has a feeling she’s gonna grill him later when they’re alone. For now, she checks her lipstick in her phone as they all briefly plan the video.

Not like there’s that much to plan; a few days ago, they decided to shoot a kiss or slap challenge for their YouTube channel because it had been wildly requested by their viewers.

Sander still doesn’t quite know how he became a part of a YouTube channel in the first place, always considering himself to be a bit more, well, sophisticated than that? But Leon was into it from the beginning and made them all participate in exchange for free beer, until one day one of their videos blew up.

If you can call getting 100k views on one video blowing up. 

Anyway, they got semi-popular amongst Flemish teens and even managed to snatch a sponsorship with Mentos (however small the offer was) that paid actual money. And he had just managed to move out of his family house so any money coming his way he welcomed with no questions asked. 

So they’ve kept shooting silly challenges slash anything else that’s a trend at a given time and have been able to cover their art supply needs with what little they earned. And, though Sander refused to admit it in the beginning, it’s actually kinda fun. It’s definitely better than his part time job at Pull&Bear where he has to deal with obnoxious customers on an almost daily basis.

They record a short introduction near the river, quickly going over the rules and explaining that the three of them will be competing in who gets more kisses versus slaps. 

“Hey, you know what, this is actually unfair cause you both can kiss anybody,” Senne points out all of a sudden, receiving four pairs of unimpressed glances.

“No one’s stopping you from getting kisses from boys too, dude,” Sander is quick to shut him up, shit-eating grin on his face as he gives him his first (light) slap to the cheek. 

They follow Senne around the park with a camera as he turns on his charm and smiles sweetly at the girls he chooses for the challenge, doing surprisingly well on the first few attempts. But when they venture deeper into the park and he tries his luck with college girls, he gets 5 slaps in the row to the rest of the group’s utter delight. In the end, his results are a blow to his pride and even Sander feels sorry for him, giving him a pat on the back while trying to hold his laughter in at Senne’s grumpy face.

Noor does much better, naturally, as her upbeat personality and a wide smile have always made boys and girls turn their heads. She gets a kiss after kiss, blush after blush, and two phone numbers in the process. Senne argues again that it’s unfair because no one’s gonna slap a girl anyway, but Leon just calls him a sore loser while Noor shamelessly flirts in French with another girl right in front of the camera.

Sander’s very proud.

Taking a quick sip of water, he gives Leon a thumbs up and starts his round, coming over to three blond girls chilling near the skateboarding ramps, trying very hard not to come off as creepy and clarifying the kiss part being only a cheek kiss. The girls erupt in giggles, but they all grant him a light kiss. One of them tries to flirt with him after, but he shoots her down before she can get too into it.

“Such a heartbreaker, you,” Noor coos at Sander’s pained face when they all walk away.

“That’s you, and you actually enjoy it,” he quips back, sticking his tongue at her.

“I do not, shut up!”

Fifteen minutes and fourteen kisses later he’s officially in the lead, sealing his victory with a kiss number fifteen he receives from a cute redhead. He’s gloating in Senne’s bemused face about nobody choosing to slap him when he stops in his tracks.

It’s the proof of his hopeless infatuation that he’d recognize that laugh everywhere.

He looks around for its source, but he comes up short. Then, his eyes focus on the skatepark area and his heart starts beating faster.

Because it feels like a sign. Like the universe is giving him a chance to finally do something. Make a move.

“Hey, can we shoot one more try?” He asks the guys, trying to sound casual while glancing furtively in the direction of brown curls.

“You’ve already won, but I guess?”

Nobody questions him about his reasons, they just follow him to the ramp.

And he’s so fucking nervous. 

It’s incredible, really, how he generally has no problems talking to people he’s interested in, conversation flowing without him even trying, gaining easy smiles and appreciative looks wherever he goes, some natural confidence to him. 

But that boy. That boy is something else.

He makes him question everything he says, makes his palms sweat and makes his deep hidden shyness come onto the surface.

Sander saw him for the first time during Open Day at the Academie in may, strolling casually through the hallway with his friend, completely oblivious to the turmoil he was causing to Sander’s heart.

That was the day Sander saw an angel. 

Fate placed him on his path again sooner than he could’ve hoped, the boy participating in a 2 week film course at his school only several days after he saw him for the first time. And he tried so hard to convince himself to talk to him over that time, but he only managed a few smiles while passing him by in the hallway. 

That and that one stupid joke he said to him while they were waiting in line at the cafeteria that makes him cringe in despair just thinking about it. Seriously, it’s like his entire cool evaporates when he’s near him.

But, the boy laughed at it. So maybe it wasn’t as horrible as Sander is making it to be. Or he was just being nice. 

Robbe. 

Robbe, who he’s been crushing on ever since that fateful day in may.

Robbe, who was at the same party he was last weekend.

Robbe, who he talked to at that party and managed to calm his nerves enough to be charming and funny.

Robbe, who giggled, blushed and bit his lip at Sander’s dumb jokes that evening.

Robbe, who slipped through his fingers because Sander blacked out soon after.

He almost never drinks, but that one night he did, celebrating the beginning of summer break, and not realizing his usual abstinence meant he was now officially a lightweight. What an awful timing.

Robbe doesn’t notice him right away, having his back turned to him while talking animatedly to his friends. Taking a deep breath and plastering a smile to his face to hide his nervousness, he approaches them.

“Hey guys, got a second?”

He notices the recognition in Robbe’s face right away, and Sander shoots him a quiet “hi” when his eyes meet his, an unsure smile blooming on his face.

“Hey, what’s up?” One of the boys nods at the camera.

“I’m Sander, and we’re shooting a video for our YouTube channel, the kiss or slap challenge,” he quickly explains, the boys’ faces lighting up.

“Hey, we have a channel too! I’m Moyo, this is Jens, Aaron, and Robbe.” Moyo reaches out to bump his fist with him and damn, Sander has to find that channel if Robbe is a part of it.

Jens levels him with a look. “So, you want us to kiss you or slap you?” 

“Pretty much, yeah?” Sander chuckles because he’s aware it’s ridiculous, but he’s a man on a mission here, give him a break.

“I think Robbe should represent all of us, don’t you think so?” Moyo proposes, tongue in his cheek as he checks with the rest of his friends. Sander catches the death glare Robbe sends the boy before looking back at him and crossing his arms, looking a bit out of place. And, fuck, the last thing Sander wants is to make him uncomfortable.

So he asks softly, “you’re in?” and waits for agonizing five seconds as Robbe watches him, eyes narrowed, before his features smooth out and he smiles at him.

“Sure, why not.”

Relieved, Sander lets out a chuckle and tries to keep his cool. “Okay then - kiss or slap?”

Robbe squints against the sun and makes him wait another few seconds before he answers, but Sander’s not worried because there’s a soft smile on his face and obviously his angel wouldn’t-

“Slap.”

Wait, what.

He can hear his friends bursting in laughter at this unexpected turn of events while Sander can only stare in shock because how could he miscalculate the situation this much?

Gulping, confused and heartbroken, he asks, “you’re sure?”, to which Robbe nods with a poorly hidden glee.

“But you have to close your eyes cause I can’t hit you while you're looking at me.”

Heaving a deep sigh and trying to save a face despite the humiliation flooding his body, he nods and closes his eyes, steeling himself for it.

But it never comes.

Suddenly, he feels a hand cupping his cheek and he flinches a little, but then soft lips touch his in a kiss so gentle he blinks his eyes open, not knowing what’s happening.

“That was payback for you promising to call me and not keeping your word,” Robbe whispers against his lips before leaning away, something sad and wistful passing through his face. Sander is left completely dumbfounded, ignoring the hollering from the two groups as his eyes fleet all over Robbe’s face.

It’s difficult for him to collect his thoughts because holy fuck, Robbe has just kissed him and he’s internally freaking out. He finally manages to get his bearings when the remnants of a smile slip off Robbe’s lips.

“I-, Robbe, you have no idea how much I wanted to call you, but I don’t have your number.”

“I gave it to you. At the party?” He doesn’t look like he believes a word Sander is saying.

“Um, I kinda blacked out and don’t remember much after like one-ish?”

“You saved it though, I saw you typing it in,” Robbe argues again, but this time he doesn’t look so sure. “Wait, what’s your number?”

Sander watches him entering digit after digit before hitting call. He fully expects a plain number to appear on his screen, eyes widening when he sees what pops up instead.

zk bambieys 🥺🦌👁️💘🧡💖💞 calling

“Fuck, you did give me your number.” He’s not fast enough to hide his screen from Robbe, but he can't even feel embarrassment once he notices the frown disappeared from his face.

“Bambi eyes?” There's a teasing note in his voice, but his pink cheeks sell him out.

Sander scratches his head. "I was very drunk, you can't hold it against me. Also, your eyes are really beautiful," he clarifies, winking when Robbe laughs at his shameless flirting. "Hey, I tried to find you on instagram, but nothing came up. I was really hoping we're gonna bump into each other again. Sorry for being a dumbass and not realizing I had your number this entire time?”

“It’s okay.” Robbe shoves his hand into the pockets of his jeans, swaying on his heels. Sander decides to put them both out of their misery and take the initiative.

“So if I asked you out, would you say yes?”

It looks like Robbe’s about to nod, but then he bites his lip, an almost cheeky smile directed at him. “I guess you have to call me to find out.” And then he gets on his skateboard and casually skates away to the nearest ramp, pulling a surprised laugh out of Sander.

If he was intrigued before, now he’s totally smitten with this wonder of a boy, because damn. 

Their friends finally seem to regain their voices and speak over each other at what just happened, but Sander doesn’t pay them any attention, just takes out his phone again and pressing the call button. 

Watching as Robbe comes to a full stop at the top of the ramp, he cocks his head with a grin and waits until he picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Sander.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Robbe laughs into the speaker.

“Will you go out with me?”

He meets his eyes across the skatepark as Robbe makes him wait again.

Then, with a smile so radiant it overshadows the sun, the boy finally gives him his answer.

“Yes.”

[mello-jello]

CAN I REQURST LRBI SYAIGN I LOBE YOU TO HANEG FOR THE FIRDY ITME?? 🌻🌻🤲🤲💨

ILOBEYOUSOMIHXTHATIAMVEINGSOFTFORYOU,PLEASEANYHTIGNYOUWRITEORDRAWAREABSOLTELYAMAZING,HABEANICEDSYBRO

I LOBE YUO MOON BRO 🌻

Okay… Okay, it’s okay. It’s just Levi, there’s no need to be afraid.

Hange’s parents were out for the night and they had given her permission to have Levi over for the first time, unsupervised. They would be completely alone. Hange wanted to finally tell him. She wanted to tell him that she’d slowly come to realize she saw him as more than a friend. More than a best friend.

But she had to admit to herself that she was nervous as hell.

The school year had come to an end and next year would be their last in highschool. So much was going to change. They would each be deciding their futures: where to go to college and what for. There was a nervous thought in the back of Hange’s mind, that grew more incessant as time went on. “What if we never see each other again?”

No, stop it!

She internally squashed the intrusive thoughts in her mind.

We’ve gone over this! Levi has been there since before I can remember.

She had looked at it from every angle, analysed every little detail. There’s no way Levi didn’t love her back. The evidence was plain as day. Hange was allowed to break Levi’s rules. She was allowed to touch him, she was allowed to share his food, she was allowed to push his buttons farther than anyone else. And on top of all that, Levi still chooses to hang out with her. If he was just being polite when she was around, he wouldn’t actively seek her out in the cafeteria. He wouldn’t have asked to be lab partners, and he wouldn’t have accepted her invitation for tonight.

He also wouldn’t have kissed her the other day.

Right, that’s right. We’ve already come to that conclusion, no need to second guess ourselves now.

Who’s “we”?

Never mind that now, we’re on a mission.

“We” again, huh?

Oh I get it, this boy is literally driving me crazy!

Us.

Stop it!

Hange checked herself in the mirror for the hundredth time that evening. She never cared before, but somehow she did tonight. She wanted everything to be perfect and go exactly according to plan. Levi would come in, they’d chat a bit, sit on the couch and maybe watch Netflix. Hange would make sure to brush up against Levi’s arm. Then, Hange would turn to him, sweep his hair out of his eyes and look into them as she said it. She was going to say I love you and demand a response.

Oh yes, she thought to herself. She would be cool and confident and this was going to be romantic as shit.

She heard a familiar knock on the door. She took one more deep breath and nodded to her reflection. Okay.

She opened the door to see Levi standing with his backpack casually slung on one shoulder.

“Hey Levi!” She exclaimed a little too excitedly than she would have liked.

“Hey,” he said, nonchalantly crossing the threshold of her apartment.

Hange’s smile was replaced with a scowl. UGH.

Levi kicked his shoes off and neatly placed them on the mat. “Well, shall we?” he gestured to the living room.

“Right! Come on in,” Hange led the way as if Levi hadn’t been to her place hundreds of times. She sat down on the couch, expecting Levi to take the spot beside her. But Levi opted instead to take the chair at the end of the coffee table. Hange’s mind was reeling.

OH MY FUCK-WHY IS HE LIKE THIS?

WHY CAN’T THIS BE EASY?

Levi, you dense fuck, I love you so much

SO TELL HIM

I will!

Levi placed this backpack between his legs and unzipped. He pulled out a small square container and placed it on the table.

“My mom made us brownies,” he stated plainly, opening the lid for Hange to see. They were cut into little heart shapes.

Hange gasped at the aroma: they were fresh. “Mmmm, thank you Kuchel!”

Levi paused for a moment, as if deep in thought. Hange stared back, not knowing what to do.

“I’ll uh… get us some plates,” Levi stood up and made his way to the kitchen. Once he was out of sight, Hange slumped back onto the couch. She was such a bad host.

It’s okay, he just knows where everything is, this is fine. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Hange rubbed her palms on her knees, suddenly aware of how warm she was. She swallowed hard.

Get it together!

I’m trying!

Levi returned with two small plates and two tall glasses of milk. He silently placed them in front of Hange, and much to her delight, he sat on the couch beside her.

Oh thank goodness!

The plan was back on track. Hange did her best to hide her smile. They watched a random show together, and each time Hange leaned forward to grab a snack, she made sure she leaned back ever so slightly closer and closer to Levi. He didn’t seem to mind. The episode was coming to a close and now was the perfect time.

Oh shit, my hand is sticky. No! How am I supposed to sweep his hair back now?

Maybe he won’t notice?

This is Levi, we’re talking about, of course he’ll notice!

Shit, you’re right.

“Hey, Hange-”

“I’ll be right back!”

They spoke at the same time, Hange launching upwards and out of the room. She went to the kitchen to wash her hands. The cool water helped her feel less clammy. She poured herself a glass of ice cold water and chugged the whole thing. Resting her arms on the counter, she took a few more deep breaths to collect herself. She refilled her glass and poured a second one to bring to Levi.

When she returned to the living room, Levi was gone. Her heart sank.

Oh no, we weirded him out!

Calm down, his stuff is still here, he’s just in the bathroom.

Oh yeah!

She sat back down and waited for Levi before resuming the show. She sat in complete silence, just trying to stop sweating.

He returned and to Hange’s absolute horror, he sat on the very end of the couch, much further than before. Great, all that progress during the last episode, wasted. Clearing her throat, she reached for the remote.

“Hange, can we talk?” Levi’s voice sounded small and uncharacteristically nervous.

“Uh, sure absolutely,” she answered, putting the remote back down and turning to face him, giving her undivided attention. The look on his face twisted her guts. He looked pensive, apprehensive, and like he was about to tell her he didn’t feel the same way.

“Listen, I was talking to my mom about love, and we got talking about different types of love; familial, romantic, platonic, etc and while there are different types, there is certainly a spectrum…”

Hange starred, unblinking and completely bewildered. Levi had never said this many words in one breath before. He was looking everywhere but at Hange. She stopped listening to his words and just started sinking in her own thoughts of doubt.

This was so stupid.

She braced herself for rejection. Levi was rambling on way too long. She guessed he didn’t want to lose their friendship either, but there would be no going back after this.

“... and so after that, I realized...” he looked directly at her now, pulling her back from her reverie. He took one shuddering breath. “... I love you, Hange. I always have.”

Oh. OH!

Her jaw fell open as she processed his words. She was caught up between the disappointment of not getting to say it first, and the relief of knowing he felt the same. What does she do now? Kiss him? Make a joke? She should definitely do something, right? He was getting worried because Hange hasn’t moved.

Tell him you love him back, you idiot!

She blinked and remembered how to breathe. “I love you too!” She blurted out.

Levi’s face washed over with relief and he let out a nervous laugh-something Hange hadn’t seen on him before. She also laughed as the tension in the room dissipated.

Levi’s face turned a bright pink and he looked up to the ceiling. “Why was this so hard?” He asked nobody in particular.

Hange crawled across the couch, closing the gap between them. She sheepishly admitted, “I’ve been freaking out all day!”

“Same here!” Levi reached out, and cupped Hange’s face in his hands. He stroked her cheek with his thumb as he searched her eyes. “Although, I have no idea why,” he murmured before pressing his lips on hers.

It was the best kiss of Hange’s life. All the stress, anxiety, and doubt melted away with it. She loved him, and he loved her, and that was all that mattered at the moment. His lips on hers, pressing deeper and more passionately than she’d ever experienced before, awoke a strange feeling from within. It was warm and welcoming and she never wanted it to go away.

Alas, they were both humans that needed oxygen, and so they broke off their kiss for a moment to breathe.

“I love you, Levi,” she repeated, a little more confidently this time.

“I love you, too,” he whispered, before kissing her again.

[persephonesinfernos]

ignoti nulla cupido | part eight.

summary: natasha finds you once again to be able to keep her an tony’s promise to keep you safe, but how would they react when they’ll learn about the little dirty secret you have been keeping since you left bucky’s side?  

word count: 1128.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader.

warnings: angst, and bucky being a dickhead.

author’s note: I’m sorry but I hate bucky, it doesn’t matter if I write him like this, I hate him. and please, please, do not hate me.

ignoti nulla cupido series | taglist | masterlist.

“A kid?” Steve asked astonished.

“Yes, Cap. A kid, a little human being.”

Suddenly the whole room erupted in noises, everyone was asking questions about the revelation. Every single one of the Avengers wanted to know the name of the boy, his age, who was his father, why HYDRA took him, why (Y/N) didn’t tell anyone about him, etc.

Everyone was stating their opinion on the mater but Bucky, Bucky remained sited in a dazing state. Not a single movement was perceived by Natasha that was solely focused on the father, little did he truly know about (Y/N)’s son.

“Okay, that’s it,” Tony’s voiced was heard loudly over the murmuring. “Romanoff, why didn’t you tell me about this? Knowing about the kid would’ve made things much easier all this time.” The billionaire was clearly fed up with the present issue.

“Because Tony, I didn’t know,” the redhead spat back tired of Tony’s shit. “I didn’t even know until a few days before I went for her, until it was probably too late,” her hands up in the air, signalling her frustration. “Don’t you think I would’ve love to know that my best friend was pregnant? To be with her during the pregnancy, during the whole thing? She did it all by herself Stark,” Romanoff’s orbs stayed focus on Tony, but she was still very aware of Barnes’ movements. “Besides, it was not my secret to tell, not my confession to make. If she didn’t it was because of something and I always have trusted her judgment.”

Bucky stood up abruptly, his chair falling behind. Every single pair of eyes darted to him, however, nobody said anything as he walked out.

“Where are you going Buck?”

“Steve, I just… I just need to know,” a distraught whisper was all Steve could make out of his friend.

“Let her be, maybe you don’t like what she has to say.”

“I don’t care anymore.” With that, James Buchanan Barnes left, ready to discover what was truly going on with her former lover.

(Y/N) was pacing around her room, she knew she told Nat to tell her big secret – most of it, at least. The team deserved to know if they’re going to help her out on this, but did she make the right choice? Maybe it was her who should’ve let everyone in her secret, maybe she should’ve of talk to Bucky first.

An ear-piercing bang startled her, turning around as she pointed her gun at whoever dared to walk in there without her permission. A blank pair of blue orbs staring right through her, her soul ripping apart at the sight.

“A child (Y/N)?” Barnes’ voice was calmed down but his heart, his heart was beating so loudly he was afraid it would break through his thoracic cage.

(Y/N) was still pointing her gun towards him, too afraid to even breathe. This was the moment she dreaded for the past three years, all the things she had thought of saying to his father’s son at some point evaporated from her mind.

“What do you want Barnes?” She blurted out.

“By starts, to not being pointed with a gun. Secondly, I want to know.” Bucky’s eyes began to look everywhere in hopes of a sign. A sign that he was doing the right thing, that what his instincts were screaming to him was wrong.

“I don’t have anything to tell you. You were crystal clear last time we were standing in front of each other, do you remember it? ‘Cause that last time is still my worst nightmare James.” Just speaking out his name broke more of her soul, not anymore was the name of the love of her life, but also the name of the child he fathered and now was at the claws of the same people that made Bucky’s life a living hell.

“(Y/N)….” He spoke softly, his feet stumbling to her in caution but something made him stop dead in his tracks. An image on an Ipad, a picture of a little kid with striking ice blue eyes, sharp jaw and short brown hair that was cut oddly familiar to a past life.

(Y/N) noticed what was going on but she was too afraid to try anything, she just stood still and watched how Bucky’s face changed from sorrow to realization, realization about your little boy, about his boy.

“Is that him?” Bucky’s voice was just a whisper, his fingers tracing the screen.

Taking a deep sight (Y/N) decided to tell the truth, nothing could be more broken. “Yes, name’s James. A shy three-year old that doesn’t need to blurt out a word, just the way he looks at you is enough to know what’s in his mind,” (Y/N) approached Bucky’s slowly, she was behind him now and even though Bucky didn’t budge when she placed her hands on his shoulders, she could sense the storming coming. “Just like his father” (Y/N) spoke, tears running freely down her cheeks.

Bucky snapped out, turning furiously to (Y/N) “He’s my son and you didn’t think I deserved to know? To know I had a kid.”

He towered over her, making (Y/N) feel terror at how his metal fist clenched in his side.

“You told me to get the fuck out of your life, that you didn’t care anymore about shit that happened to me or that will happen. That I was a demanding bitch.” (Y/N) chocked out, not looking at his eyes.

“You gave birth to my fucking son (Y/N), and now Hydra took him because you weren’t able to protect him.” She was sure that by now, someone had heard all the noise coming out of her bedroom even thou Bucky’s words were a mere whisper.

“I wasn’t able to be there, to watch him grow, to protect him because of you and your fucking insecurities and fear.” He was now inches away from her face, his metal hand grabbing (Y/N)’s wrist so tightly she was sure there were going to be bruises on it tomorrow morning.

(Y/N) tried to say something but it was like she was paralyzed, the only thing she was able to do was to watch the cold demeanour of the person she still loved and hated equally.

“This is on you (Y/N). Whatever happens to him is on you, just pray that we will get to him in time.” Bucky said voidly now, it felt like the Winter Soldier was the one standing in front of you.

He let go of (Y/N), her back hitting the wall behind her. As Bucky was about to cross the threshold, he stopped and without glazing her way he spoke “I’m getting a lawyer, as it is clear that you can’t be responsible for my child.”

forever taglist: @everythingisbeautifulposts​ | @rogersparkerbarnes​ |

ignoti nulla cupido taglist: @vicmc624 | @margaaaa30 | @gudenuph | @summb | @peaches-roses-sins | @pspice639 | @purplewcrld | @gloryekaterina | @krazykatkay456 | @fangirl-swagg | @austynparksandpizza | @4babez | @tanyaherondale | @droopingdatura | @loveyou5everr | @urimaginespimp​ | @nat-reads​ | @asherys-valyrion​ |

[luminois]

･:*✧ 𝗷𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻;

𝗳𝗼𝗿 @blueprint-han 𝗮𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 💌

𝘄: 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘀𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝘅 𝗶𝘀 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝘄𝗶𝗰𝗲.

𝟭𝟰𝟴𝟰 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀, 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹.

“i want nurse innie!”

you watch the little girl’s chubby face turn red as tears start sliding down her cheeks, and you feel hopeless. she looks so small in the hospital bed, the sight disheartening despite the colorful toys and gifts her loved ones have surrounded her space with. she’s exhausted and distressed, and you’re afraid the other little patients in the room are going to get upset as well.

this is your third night shift of the week, you’re tired and your scrubs are starting to feel dirty and itchy. you’re about three minutes away from curling down on the floor and joining the little girl as she sobs her fragile heart out. however, you force yourself to smile at her reassuringly.

“i’m sorry sarang, nurse innie isn’t here right now,” you say, your tone gentle. “is it alright if i help you instead? i promise nurse innie is going to come to you as soon as possible.”

her sobs turn into soft sniffles for a couple seconds, as if she was weighing your words and deciding if she should accept your offer or not. to your chagrin she shakes her head, her curls bouncing around as she starts weeping again.

you hush sarang softly, and when it doesn’t seem to work you call over another nurse to watch over the little girl. there’s only one thing you can do.

you walk out of the room so fast you’re almost running, careful of the people around you as you reach the duty roster at the end of the hallway. your eyes check the board quickly, and you let out a relieved sigh. jeongin should clock in half an hour, and there’s only one place he could be at the moment.

the section of the hospital reserved to the medical personnel is quiet, as the only people who weren’t working were sleeping, trying to gather a couple hours of rest before wearing their scrubs again. with 28 hours of wakefulness on your shoulders, your body is aching for a soft mattress and your eyes are begging for some rest, but you ignore your screaming muscles and push the changing room’s door open. you’re met with the broad expanse of jeongin’s back and shoulders, and you realize you should’ve knocked before coming in.

it hadn’t taken you long to develop a crush on the new male nurse who had joined the hospital a couple months prior. not only jeongin had an unbelievably handsome face and the most charming smile, he was also funny, amazing with children and passionate about his job, and that was all kind of sexy. the natural consequence of getting coffee at 5 a.m. after a particularly harsh shift had been going out for drinks late at night. and the natural consequence of “stopping by” at jeongin’s place after going out for drinks had been getting tangled in his bedsheets after passionately making out against his front door.

he’d made you breakfast in the morning and insisted on driving you to the hospital despite it being his free day, and you were sold. the sex had been mind blowing, and so it had been all the other times after that first night. he cared for your needs before even thinking about his own pleasure, and with every encounter he just got better and better at making you feel good as he started to know your body like the back of his hand.

you two weren’t dating, not yet. you’d gone on dates, some of which hadn’t even ended in the bedroom. at first you’d been afraid all jeongin wanted was some fun, but he’d proved you wrong times and times again. but, despite being on the verge of becoming a real couple, the lack of an official label hadn’t been enough to stop your desire for one another. his kitchen, your bathtub, both of your beds, this same changing room, they all had something in common. all of those places had been witnesses of the unstoppable passion that pulled you and jeongin towards each other, no matter how much you tried to resist against it.

you spot the red tracks your nails had scratched on jeongin’s back that same day and you hold the door’s frame so tight your knuckles turn white. this isn’t the time to get carried away, it really isn’t, but your brain doesn’t seem to remember why you came here in the first place.

“honey, at least close the door if you want to look at me while i change,” jeongin says, flashing you a smile over his shoulder, “this show isn’t for anyone but you.”

you comply quickly, knowing that you would seriously get jealous if anybody else were to see him like this.

“ever thought of becoming a stripper? you’d be a natural,” you play along, a smile growing on your lips as you lean against the closed door.

he laughs, finally putting his shirt on. “but i would only accept you as my client, that wouldn’t be good for the business.”

it’s your turn to laugh, and by the time jeongin has reached you, his arms hugging your waist right away, it has simmered down to a comfortable smile. you place your head on his shoulder, and you could fall asleep right there.

“hey,” he says quietly, resting his cheek against your hair. “you’re tired, mhh?”

you nod, your eyes fluttering closed as jeongin kisses your temple ever so softly. “my shift ends in an hour, i can make it.”

“you should rest, honey, i can clock in early and cover for you. how does that sound?”

his lips move down to your cheek and you want to accept, professionalism be damned. but you shake your head and stand up straight, sleepy eyes locking with jeongin’s enamored ones.

“i just have a couple check ups left to do, i’ll be alright.”

jeongin nods and his eyes move down to your lips. you know what that look means and you want to tell him he really shouldn’t do it but then he’s kissing you and you don’t have the willpower to stop him. your hands get tangled in his hair on their own accord, the traitors. his lips are slow on yours but they still make your knees buckle, his hands pulling you closer until your bodies are touching everywhere.

“jeongin,” you sigh as he moves to kiss and suck on your neck, his hands subtly sneaking under your shirt. they’re cold and the contact with your warm skin makes you whimper.

he hums to let you know he’s listening. he’s found that spot behind your ear that he knows drives you crazy, and a couple seconds pass until your brain focuses enough to let out some coherent words.

“baby, we can’t right now.”

“why not?” he asks, and you giggle at the puppy eyes he gives you. he’s the only one who could look that adorable while asking for sex.

you already knew that, but it’s moments like this when you realize just how in love with him you are. and just like that you remember the reason why you came searching for him before you got distracted by the intoxicating feeling being with him gives you.

“sarang won’t let anyone help her but you, she hasn’t stopped crying since she woke up.”

jeongin’s expression grows concerned and he nods quickly, kissing you one last time before you both get out of the room. you’ll be back in each other’s arms once your little patients will be taken care of.

sarang’s eyes light up as soon as they land on jeongin and her tears stop falling almost instantly, as if his mere presence was enough to make her feel better.

“why is princess sarang crying?” he coos, and a toothy smile replaces the little girl’s pout.

while you visit the other children in the room your eyes can’t help but fall on jeongin from time to time. he manages to visit sarang without making her nervous, playing with her and making her laugh like nobody else can, and she’s not the only kid in the hospital who relies on him like that. you’ve gone to toys stores to buy teddy bears with him more than once, because he gifts them to the kids to make them feel less lonely while their parents aren’t there. and you’ve caught him reading stories and singing lullabies to help them sleep once too many times, the sight of the little patients curled up against him after struggling to sleep so endearing it makes your heart skip a beat every time.

despite the attraction and all the excitement being with jeongin brings you, you know this is the reason you’ve fallen for him so hard so fast. he cares for others like nobody else does, and you want to be the one to take care of him in return.

———

do you want to read more?

[bridgyrose]

Heya, it been awhile XD

As always, I've been enjoying your fluffy snippets, but if you're up for some angst...

Ruby is a newly graduated Huntress following up on a child trafficking ring in Mistral m, which ends up taking her to Atlas. There she stays at 'The Glass Unicorn' and meets a maid called 'Cinder'. A woman who has long given up on her freedom and what it means to be a Huntress...

Otherwise, if you're still enjoying the fluffy side of things, some fluffy BeesSchnees is always good XD

Ruby sighed as she looked between a paper in her hand and to the hotel standing in front of her. For a moment, she was a bit confused on what The Glass Unicorn had to do with any sort of child trafficking ring. However, the name of the woman who owned this place came up more than once on the ledgers of that old barn. And if she wanted answers, she was going to need to start her.

Rain started to pour from the sky as Ruby walked into the hotel, pausing for a moment as she felt out of place. Sure, there were hunters and huntresses from all over, but even for Atlas standards, this place was higher end. Everywhere she looked, all she saw was an excuse for wealth to be displayed. Once she regained her composure, she walked up to the front desk. “I need a room.”

The blonde woman looked Ruby over for a moment before noticing it was a huntress in front of her. With a few quick clicks on her keyboard, a card popped out of her computer. “Room 402. Meals will be brought straight to your room. And dont bother talking to the staff.”

Ruby looked at her curiously as she took the card. “Why not?”

The woman looked directly into Ruby’s eyes. “Its not their job to talk to anyone.”

Ruby sighed and put the card in her pocket, turning to start heading up the stairs. She looked around as she walked, all the patrons seeming to enjoy everything the hotel offered. It all reminded her of why she was doing this: to try to make the world a better place. And right now, Atlas was not that better place.

Ruby watched a few of the staff bring out meals to the patrons, along with anything else they needed or cleaned up any messes that were made. The longer she watched, the less convinced she became that this hotel was going to be the link to this ring. Everything she found always became a dead end and this last lead of hers seemed to be no different.

“What do you think you’re doing?!”

Ruby looked up at the third floor, watching one of the patrons yelling at one of the maids. She tried to get a better look, making her way to the stairs on the opposite side as she watched the maid drop to the ground to pick up the food that fell on the ground.

“I’m sorry, I didnt mean to-”

“Didnt mean to what? Give lousy service?” The patron spat at the maid, pushing past her and knocking her over. “Lousy maid bringing over half cooked food…”

Ruby watched the maid move her hair out of her face as she started to scrub, hearing a small sigh escape from the girl. She felt sorry for the girl, walking over to her. “Ah… miss… I was hoping I could ask you something.”

The maid didnt look up, seemingly avoiding eye contact with Ruby. “I-I’ll make sure your room is cleaned once I’m finished here.”

Ruby knelt down and picked up some of the fruit that had spilled. “That’s not what I was going to ask about. I was hoping you might be able to answer a few questions I have about this place.”

The maid stopped and slowly looked up at Ruby with tired eyes. “Y-you’re a huntress…”

“I am. What is your name?”

“Cinder.”

Ruby smiled and extended a hand to Cinder. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Cinder smiled for a moment, then it quickly disappeared as she quickly started to work again, keeping her head low. “I’m… I’m not allowed to talk to you. Please, go to your room and I’ll bring you your meal.”

Ruby was about to speak until she heard a voice coming from behind her.

“Cinder, you’re needed in the kitchen.”

Ruby watched as Cinder stood up and started hurrying off past her, making her way downstairs. “Do your staff always get treated like this?”

The woman from the front desk stood behind Ruby, shaking her head. “Only that one. She’s a bit of a… problem. The only reason I dont fire her is because she’s one of my daughters. She knows she’s only to be seen, not heard. I’ll make sure she wont bother you again.”

Ruby watched the woman turn around and head back downstairs towards the kitchen after Cinder. At this rate, even if this ended up as a dead end with the trafficking ring, then maybe there was something else that she could fix.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinder winced a bit as she brought a tray to room 402, doing her best to keep from moving the collar that was around her neck. Everytime she messed up, all she could feel was that familiar sting. And every time, it hurt. She adjusted a small cloth she had around her neck, hiding the scars from the collar. She quietly knocked on the door, praying that whoever was in this room wasnt going to treat her like the rest of the patrons did.

Ruby slowly opened the door and smiled a bit at Cinder. “I was wondering when you’d come around.”

Cinder looked away a bit, holding out a tray to Ruby and staying quiet. The pain from her last punishment still lingered around, and she was terrified to be caught talking to anyone now.

Ruby noticed and sighed, taking the tray. “If you’re not going to talk right now, then maybe you can help me out with a few things in my room. There’s a few spots that could use a bit of cleaning.”

Cinder nodded and slowly walked into the room, pausing once she saw Ruby’s weapon laying down on a table. It wasnt the first time she had seen a hunter’s weapon within easy grabbing, and wasnt the first time she had the desire to reach out for it.

Ruby noticed and walked over, picking up her weapon and smiling a bit. “Like weapons too? You can hold her if you’d like.”

Cinder hesitated for a moment, wanting to reach towards the weapon. She stopped half way and sighed and she pulled her hand back. “I… cant.”

“Why not?”

Cinder didnt answer, looking away from Ruby. She didnt know how to tell a huntress that she had to get away from her family. That she’d do anything if it meant not being with them anymore.

Ruby sighed and sat Crescent Rose down. “You… wanted to be a huntress at one point, didnt you?”

Cinder froze on the spot. The thought had occurred to her, and there was that one huntsman, Rhodes, who taught her a few things, but he disappeared when she was younger. “Y-yes… but its… more than that…”

“I’m not sure I understand.”

Cinder looked around nervously before pulling down the cloth around her neck and pulling up the sleeves of her outfit. Scars lined her wrists while one scar circled her neck exactly where her necklace, the collar she wore, sat.

Ruby frowned when she saw the scars on Cinder, picking up her weapon and heading out of the room. “Stay here.”

Cinder nodded and sat down, terrified about what was going to happen. She had spent years trying to figure out how to get away from the madam, but all of her attempts at obtaining a weapon to get away had failed. And now, an actual huntress had seen the marks that had been left, the reminders of each of her failures on running away, each mistake she had made while working.

It wasnt long before Cinder heard muffled shouts from outside the room, her sisters and the madam clearly angry at Ruby. She cowered a bit, thinking she knew exactly what to expect: Ruby was going to let the madam in just like everyone else. She’d believe the lies that were told, that she was a troubled child that was taken in by the gratitude of the madam’s heart, that she was a thief and a liar that everyone had to keep an eye on. Even after the shouts died down, she still waited, flinching as she watched the door open.

Ruby rushed into the room, blood dripping from her scythe as she grabbed her things. “Cinder, you’re coming with me.”

Cinder felt a bit confused, hesitating for a moment. “You… want me to come with you?”

“Well, currently you’re unemployed and have nowhere to go. You can either stay here in Atlas, maybe find your way down to Mantle and find a job, or you can come with me and I can help you become a huntress. I can at least teach you how to defend yourself and others from the grimm, maybe even help you take the exam for your hunter’s license. Give you a new start.”

Cinder was still a bit confused, but followed after Ruby, pausing as she saw the madam laying on the ground in a pool of her own blood. “You killed her…”

Ruby sighed as she kept walking. “She attacked me first. I thought all of this was going to be a dead end, but it seems like I ended up on the right track after all. I know you were bought through a child trafficking ring, and I know you’re not the only one she had purchased. If you can help me get a bit more proof, I think I can put an end to this. I know its a bit late and there isnt much I can do about what had happened to you, but I can at least help you with your new freedom now.”

Cinder sped up to catch up to Ruby, sticking close to her. “But why help me? I’m… I’m just a nobody. A kid that was sold into this life. I dont deserve any kindness.”

“Because if I cant help someone, then what’s the point of being a huntress?” Ruby stopped for a moment, pulling out her scroll and holding it up to Cinder to take a picture. “And besides, the world is already cruel enough. I think its time we try to make it a better place.”

[thequeenb]

Come Back

This is part 3 of the series because its highly requested. Part 1 and 2 are here for you to read.

I watched Poppy get out of the limo gracefully as she has always been. She was perfect in every way, people here aren't used to this type of women. From head to toe she was beautiful, from the way her hair fell to her shoulders to the way she was standing, eyes looking at me intently.

Everyone was stunned but i am not surprised. Charlie gasps as she takes my hand in hers tagging me away from the crowd. My eyes are lost in hers, just like every movie everything stops. My heart is pounding but I can't quite know how i feel. As Charlie pushes me away from her i can see the disappointment all over her perfect features

Why she follow me? Why is she here? How did she know i was here? And most importantly what do i do now? Before my mind start overthink Charlie looks at me worried

"I am sorry this is all my fault i thought it was a celebrity i didn't knew it was your ex"

Right my ex. Is this the right word? I cant quite tell to be honest. We have been through so much that we didn't had time to label our relationship nor we had to. I felt anger when the painful pictures came back in my mind. If our relationship meant even a little bit to her why would she let us fall apart?

I frown and Charlie hugs me tight without another word. She always knew what to do and how to read my eyes. Her hand draws small circles on my back and i take a deep breath

"This wasn't your fault. I am surprised she even knows where Farmsvile is" my bitter chuckle fills the air "i always wanted to take her here, show her the real world without any masks covering our every decision"

Charlie listens to me like always. I miss Zoe though, she is as supportive as her but she always knew the New York world better than Charlie

"Why do you think she is trying to find you?"

I bite my lip in thought wanting the answer to this question but for now its unknown

"Well i blocked her number..her instagram, her Twitter account, her Facebook account her-"

"Woah there" Charlie says laughing "you are such a drama queen no wonder the big city treats you well"

"I wish it did, so many things changed so fast. The way i dress, the way i think, the way i make decisions, everything" i hide my face in my hands unable to get a hold of my emotions

"Well you better make a fast decision because miss Barbie is coming our way right now" i quickly fix my hair and wipe my tears not wanting Poppy to see how hurt i am

She approaches carefully and so sure of herself but knowing her i sense the hesitation in her expression.

"Could we have some privacy?" Poppy asks and Charlie gives me the "should i kill this bitch" look. I nod reassuring her its fine

"If you hurt her more i will throw you to the pigs" Charlie says giving Poppy a sharp look before walking away

Poppy mutters something under her breath, probably something like 'gross' or 'ew'. She is hesitant to sit next to me but I don't mind it. Taking a deep breath i try to not cry

"Look Bea, i won't waste your time because you already hate me but everything you saw has a story behind them" her expression changes, i am sure she replay the events and honestly so do i. The difference between us is that she feels sadness and i am blinded by rage

"Oh i am sure it does. I will make a guess and say that you used me all this time and i was just a puppet in your stupid game" i stand up unable to be close to her

"Oh please what would i gain from you? Being with a farmer girl isn't exactly appealing to any advantage" she stands up too, her eyes a wild fire ready to spread

A farmer girl..not appealing. Bravo Poppy, break my heart a little bit more

"Wow really? Last time i checked a farmer girl made you feel loved, a farmer girl took you to nice places and a farmer girl held you while you complained about your family!!" I raise my voice even though i have all the right reasons, still i can see how surprised she is by it

"I could have anyone i want if i snap my fingers but i tried to protect you i never wanted Carter-"

"Oh really?? The what the fuck is this pic Poppy?" I shove my phone in her face and i can see clearly her anger building in

"You don't understand, i am stupid i even came to this disgusting place to find you" she grabs her bag fixing her hair trying to make a dramatic exit

"Oh seriously? Well i am sorry this doesn't meet your standards i am sure you enjoy the city where nobody gives a shit about you or use you for your name" i grab my bag too and this time i walk away without looking back

Suddenly i stop my tracks but i don't turn around to face her "And to think i wanted to show you where i grew up" thats all i say before my tears fell from my eyes. I change my pace going faster in hope she would chase me but she doesn't.

The fresh air hits my face and i feel safe knowing nobody will judge me here. Walking a little further i finally arrive home where a familiar smell greets me. My mother is making my favourite food, father is feeding the chickens and Charlie waits for me on the porch

I put a fake smile on my face as i approach "well that went better than i thought" sarcasm was always my way to cope with my emotions

"You will share the details later right now we should eat the stew while its hot come on!" Charlie leads me inside the house and it feels good to be surrounded by welcoming faces

The day passes fast and i jump in my bed. I am so exhausted, who knew dealing with my emotions would be so tiring. Before i close my eyes i check my phone in hope Zoe texted me but i know she is busy. I close my eyes hoping the pain will stop and the new day will start better.

The sun hits my face and i groan in annoyance when i hear a knock at my door.

"Sweetheart should i come in?" My mother comes inside my room and i sit up trying to understand why she woke me up at..8:00 in the morning?? Ugh a girl cant get her beauty sleep

She sits beside me cupping my face in her hands. I missed her touch, she always made me feel better about myself and my problems no matter how sad i was feeling

"You have visitors outside waiting for you but i was adviced to not let you look through the window" my mother chuckles "now get ready they waited long enough"

I smile putting all my energy into getting out of my warm bed "fine fine only because i know Charlie will want to do something crazy"

I get dressed and run downstairs. I open the door only to be greeted by Charlie and.. Poppy??

"Goodmorning Princess i am sorry to wake you up so early but we have cows to milk" Charlie winks at me but my attention falls to Poppy who's wearing a simple T shirt and..boots? What is happening?

"Don't look at this city snob like that it took me 1 hour to convince her to wear these"

Poppy rolls her eyes but i laugh, its a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her this way, ah how i would love to take a picture and post it everywhere

"Show me your world" Poppy says giving me a small smile and for the first time i can see all the effort she put for me. I mean the outfit says it all, and the one and only Min SinClair will do farm work? Now thats some change

"I chuckle walking towards the farm "Well then show me how sorry you are" i say throwing a bucket at Poppy who looks at it in disgust

"I swear Hudges if you-" but Charlie push her in time and honestly this is the best sight ever. Poppy pouts but bites her tongue

"Lets go city girl show me what you got" Charlie and i laugh and surprisingly Poppy joins as she hides her face on my shoulder

"I missed you" she whispers only for me to hear and i smile letting my bad thoughts on the side for once seeing where this will take me. I hold her closer as we walk into the sunrise ready to share a piece of myself with her.

Tag list: @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @aiswood @alexlabhont @dopeyouth @tyrils-star @alexroyard @uselesslesbianfr  @wolfietheduckyou @somin-yin

[darkdevasofdestruction]

When You Become A Fallen

(( This premise is about reader being one of the Seraphim, and she was/fell in love with one of the brothers, which made God shun her from the Celestial Realm, and thus, how each of the brothers helps her through her transformations to a Demon and her new lifestyle. ))

---

LUCIFER

Quite frankly, he took it the hardest, as he too was a Seraph back in the days, God’s most beloved angel, and the descend changed him a lot, even if he doesn’t want to admit.

When he saw your broken form on the ground, he cradled your body close to his chest, feeling fear and panic just as when Lilith almost died, so he went to plead to Diavolo to allow you permanent stay in the Devildom as well, saying that he’ll do anything for this favour, just like before.

Centuries passed since he descended, and while he still has nightmares of what happened, the pain and transformation were something that he forced himself to forget, at least for his own pride and ego, but seeing you in such excruciating pain was an even worse torture than before.

He knew there was little he or anyone else could do regarding all this, but he will be there by your side for the whole duration of it, no matter how long it took, be it days, weeks or months, he wouldn’t be pried away from you.

For the most of the day, Lucifer had you sit on his lap, both of you wearing light sleeping wear, so you could feel each other’s body heat, thinking it would help ease the pain, even by a little.

However, as soon as your 3 pairs of majestic, pure white wings started blankening, while one of the pairs also started burning, feather by feather, you became unreasonable, as you couldn’t even think or speak properly because of the agony surging through your every artery, vein, capillary and nerve in your body.

You were desperately clinging to him, scratching his back and arms, screeching for forgiveness, begging him to kill you already and end this pain, questioning what you did wrong, except have pure and unwavering  feelings of love for someone, and all Lucifer could do was hold you tightly, a had on the back of your head, putting your face on the crook of his neck, while the other was on your back, putting you glued to his chest, trying to keep you still and potentially causing yourself more damage.

“WHY, GOD, WHY?! WHAT HAVE I DONE SO WRONG TO FALL OUT OF YOUR GRACES?! IS IT REALLY FORBIDDEN TO FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND FEELINGS?! CURSE YOU! CURSE THE CELESTIAL REALM! CURSE ALL YOUR FUCKING ANGELS! YOU ARE A MONSTERS!” you kept crying out, cursing the skies, and Lucifer, in his head and heart, was yelling the same thing as you were.

His own heart was crying out in despair seeing his beloved like that, and for the first time since Lilith, he shed tears of pure sorrow, cursing God, the Celeastial Realm and all the angels there, and more, cursing himself for allowing both of them to become lovers back when they were angels, because his act of rebelling against God only brought you intense suffering.

There is nothing Lucifer wouldn’t do for you, no matter how impossible it seemed, but you are the only person he ever had such a connection with, so he treasures you as much as his own brothers.

He knows how difficult it was for him to completely accept he was a Demon and blend in to this new place, but he will be there for you to guide and teach you with every step you took, always holding you hand, always giving you genuine and tender smiles to help you feel more at ease, and of course, he will make sure you room with him so you won’t ever be alone and afraid again.

---

MAMMON

He freaks out so bad at first, questioning you out loud a thousand questions, while fidgeting from leg to leg and looking around for help.

Why were you here? Why were you injured? What happened? Are you alright?

Of course you weren’t alright, damn it! Stupid Mammon! Do something!

He picked you up and brought you to Lucifer, crying desperately and asking what the hell he was supposed to do, because he had no idea what the hell happened and why you were the way you are, and for the first time in ages, Lucifer didn’t yell at him, nor did he insult him - He actually helped him as much as he could, because he knew what was going on, and his heart broke at seeing his beloved little brother crying like that.

In his room, you wouldn’t stop crying and holding your head - You had migraines, your scalp was burning, your whole skin felt ablaze, you felt akin to a witch being burnt alive, and poor Mammon was crying along with you, not knowing if he should touch you, in fear of hurting you more, or holding you tightly and letting you cry away everything that hurt.

Mammon tried to kiss your tears away, put on music to help you keep your mind away from the pain, tried to tell you silly stories from his failed plans, or from his brothers to make you laugh, but in the end, nothing really helped, and he felt that the sky fell on him.

That is, until he turned away from you, gripping his hair in despair as he was running out of ideas to help you and his heart was being ripped apart more and more...But you gripped on his jacket and pulled him in a tight embrace from the back, resting your forehead on the blades of his shoulders, making him stop dead in his track, stiff as a board.

“Mammon, it hurts...Mammon, don’t leave me, please...Please keep on staying me me. Don’t leave me again. I missed you so much...So much that I didn’t even realise that the whole Celestial Realm knew I was in love with you ever since you were an angel...Everyone knew, except for me...But I missed you so much...And they said it’s forbidden. But I can’t live without you.” you sobbed, your fingers and nails digging into his chest as you confessed your sin and the reason you got in this position, which frankly, it made Mammon feel both guilty and even more head over heels with you.

Honestly, nobody ever expressed their feelings to him the way you did, unless it was Stupid Mammon left and right...But you...You were being so genuine and pure...You were real...You loved him...And now there was no barrier between you two...

He cursed himself for being happy with what happened, despite your agony, but he was a greedy man, and he craved your affection more than flowers need the Sun, so he continued to try to put a smile on your face and make the transformation easier to bear with.

Realising that your horns were beginning to grow, he transformed into his demon self and taking your hands in his gingerly, he put them over his own horns, reassuring you that everything will be okay, that they will grow pretty fast and all the agony will go away soon.

When the transformation was done, he was extremely overprotective of you becoming a student at RAD, dragging you with him everywhere, but he tried to be more responsible this time, as he had to take care of you and he couldn’t risk some angry witches or other demons attacking you to get to him.

--- LEVIATHAN

Kinda like Mammon, he was panicked beyond belief, not understanding how the hell did you get yourself in that position, but instead of freaking out, he kinda looked at you, stunned, unmoving, until he finally managed to snap out of it and carried you to his room, while calling Lucifer and telling him the gist of it.

Levi knew that his room was incredibly aesthetic and relaxing, having an aquatic theme, so hopefully, it will help you bear with the transformation and adaptation to this new life-style easier, and hopefully, not have any problems with blending in, especially since he will be there for you at every step you took.

And if that wasn’t enough, since Levi barely leaves the room, he would shelter you like a mother would her little baby, coddling you, wrapping his tail around you protectively, helping you take slightly cold baths to get rid of the burning and itching sensation of your horns and wings transforming, and showing you Henry 2.0 and promising you that he will be your best friend too.

However, the transformation for you wasn’t as bad as the spiraling and paranoia that seemed to completely engulf you, which made you quite hysterical for a while, and no amount of video games and anime could prepare Levi for this mess.

“Levi, what if they come after me? What if they aren’t happy with me being alive? What if they take me back and try to torture me to death? I don’t want back there again...Levi, I’m afraid, please protect me.” you clutched his blouse while sobbing in his shoulder, and all he could do was hold you tightly and promise you that everything will be okay and he would let nobody touch you again.

He would then start telling you about TSL and how The Lord of Shadows will always be there to protect his Henry, which is when you asked him if he would be your Lord of Shadows, and his face started blushing like crazy, and he vowed to himself that you, his most precious person, will never ever have to feel any kind of pain ever again, and he will be there for you no matter what.

Levi understands what’s like being afraid, nervous, anxious, which is something he often feels himself, and thus, the reason for preferring to take online classes rather than going physically to a classroom, which is something that he will ask for for you too, and thankfully, Lucifer approves of it, understanding the situation.

His hectic sleeping schedule is always messed up by his love for binge-watching and binge-playing, something you often partake into as a way to keep the intrusive thoughts away from your head, and it is rather effective.

However, on the occasions that you’re having a mental breakdown and start spiraling once again, no matter what hour of the day or night it is, Levi will be there to tell you how he loves you, how you’re safe with him, that nobody would ever dare cross Diavolo’s rules on his own domain, and that those angels up there were shitheads for prosecuting you for something as pure as loving someone.

--- SATAN

Out of all the demon brothers, he is obviously the only one who didn’t have to go through the whole metamorphosis ritual, because he never was an angel to begin with.

He knows, however, the excruciating pain that you’re going through, as him and Lucifer share some of the more powerful emotions and memories he used to have, and so, he has an idea, backing up all the stories he heard from 3rd parties, from his brothers and from books.

Satan will make all of his brothers send him thorough voice messages to explain what they went through and how he could help you, and thus, he would be pampering and taking care of you every second, without a second thought.

He couldn’t believe that you truly fell for him after just one year of spending time together, during the exchange-student program, when you came to Devildom...I mean, he was a demon, and while yes, he too fell for you, he was in shock hearing that such a pure and perfect being such as yourself would ever harbour such feelings for him, a demon, and the Avatar of Wrath nonetheless...

“Satan...Why...Why is it such a sin to fall in love? What have I done so cruel...So unforgivable...That I deserve to go through all this pain...All this agony...All I wanted was to be happy...Is that so selfish of me to ask? Am I not allowed to live the rest of my life with someone that I genuinely cherish so much...?” she cried with so much self-hatred that it made Satan want to burn the whole Celestial Realm and torture and rip apart every feather, every limb of those stupid angels and flay them alive, letting the lesser demons eat them.

The pain you’re being subjected to is exhausting you so much, but if you stand still, it feels like it’s hurting tenfold, so you try to keep yourself moving around the room, until you collapse from over-exerting your already frail body.

Satan would only look at you in pity, as he tried to hide the burning rage he harboured in his heart, along with all the death-threats he wanted to throw away at God and all the stupid angels who dared do this to you, so he picks you up gently, putting you on his bed, puts a light blanket over you and goes to prepare a cup of calming tea that has somnolent effects, hoping that it would help you heal faster and regain some of your strength through resting.

He would hold you close to his chest, kissing your forehead, stroking your hair, trying to keep you drowsy and calm, while also reading you one very interesting book, Harrison Porter, as it had lots of magic spells and he could show you the spells, to fascinate you, and try to keep your thoughts away from the pain.

Of course, he would be researching all remedies, spells and treatments to help ease the pain, so he would be rubbing creams with and lotions on your back and on your wings, to calm down the pain, would put spells on you to give you sweet dreams every night, and would always hold you tightly and promise you that nobody would ever come with any ill-intent towards you, and that he would kill anyone who dares even look at you the wrong way.

Since he has always been a demon, he is very popular and sociable, so blending in would be much easier with him by your side, as he would take you as his date everywhere - Be it a sports game, a theater play, an opera play, a ballet, a social gathering, a ballroom dance, a drive-outside cinema, or colour festival, a concert...Or literally anything.

---

ASMODEUS

No matter how dramatic and extra Asmo loves to be, this was no joking matter, and the person he knew he could always rely on, and that was his eldest brother, Lucifer, the only being that he ever looked up to, that he ever admired - Lucifer, the one who used to be a Seraph, just like you.

He wanted to understand what Lucifer went through, because sure, Asmo knew the physical transformations his brother went through, but he couldn’t know of the emotional trauma, or how different it was for him, as he was, after all, the highest-ranking angel in the Celestial Realm.

He then correlated with how disgusted he remembered both himself and Lucifer felt when looking into the mirror and realising they weren’t the divine beings from before, but a wretched abomination, and how long it took them to come to terms with the idea, and finally try to find the specks of beauty that others saw in them, despite the changes.

It was true, you went through a lot of pain, exhaustion, mental breakdowns, trauma, all because of how agonising the transformation was, and Asmo was there for you to brighten up and ease you through everything, not wanting you to be alone, like they were, so seeing his gorgeous and loving smile always seemed to make the corners of your mouth tilt upwards, even by a little bit.

Asmo would cuddle you and pamper you with an infinite amount of kisses, and of course, would give you frequent back rubs, wing massages, scalp massages, knowing that those were the most painful and affected areas, and thankfully enough, all the beauty products he used on you were cool and had calming and painkilling effects, so at least was better for you.

When it was all over, however, the horror didn’t end, as you saw yourself in the mirror and fell to your knees shrieking at your new appearance...That wasn’t you...It couldn’t be you...This...This abomination...This tainted thing...

Your desperation and self-hatred were so through the roof that you punched the mirror and clutched the shards in your hands, not even feeling any pain, because everything was ablaze anyway, and not even your tears could pull out the fire inside you.

Asmo was devastated seeing you like this, it made him want to sob, to pull you to his chest and cry out, telling him how he hates seeing you like this, that you remind him of himself, that deep inside him, despite all the narcissism he puts on display, he is also still a bit insecure and wishes he had the same appearance as before...But what hurt him the most was seeing you hating yourself so much, and having ended up like him, just because your heart chose the wrong person to have such intense feelings for.

“This is not me...This can’t be me...Asmodeus, what the hell is wrong with your mirror, it’s broken...It’s cursed...This isn’t me, this isn’t how I look...It can’t be...My wings...My feathers...They are all black...And these horns...And this gem...And the markings...This new outfit...What is this...Why...Why me...Why...?! Why am I being cursed for being in love?! Is this how ugly, tainted and abominable my soul is?! Is that why I look like this?! Is that WHY I became this?!” you tore away at your hair, as Asmo could only fix the mirror quickly, to avoid you getting more injured, and cradled your smaller form to his chest, whispering reassuring words and compliments.

He would do all his beauty routines with you, would compliment you endlessly, would make you try out a thousand and more outfits that he bought for you, showing you off, taking pics of you and boasting with you on DevilGram, since you’re the most gorgeous babe alive and he’s lucky to have you in his life, and now, you and him are the most beautiful couple ever to exist, without a doubt.

He would never tell you all the emotional trauma and self-hatred he went through, because as long as he could make you smile and help teach you how to love yourself again, and see the beauty in your new appearance, Asmodeus was happy and didn’t need anything else.

--- BEELZEBUB

For poor Beel, this was the whole Lilith problem all over again, blaming and hating himself for letting her die (sort of), and now, here you were, a Fallen, broken, lost, depressed, all because you loved him, and he loved you, but he rebelled and now you were caught in the crossfire.

No matter how kind and sweet he is, this is the second time the Celestial Realm crushed his heart and stomped on his feelings, hurting the people he loves most, and this was too much...He would never be able to forgive them, no matter what...And especially not his Father for being so cruel with the angels that loved him so much and were beyond devout to him.

For him, the changes weren’t as painful, and that may be because of his built, and how he finds it easier to deal with physical pain, rather than the emotional one, as he feels like he’s getting blow after blow in that aspect, but he must be strong, for you, for Belphie, for Lilith and for his brothers too.

Beel knows he’s very physically strong, even by demon standards, so he will be a bit afraid at the beginning to touch you, fearing that he will make you hurt more than you already do, but as soon as you nestle yourself in his embrace, he can’t help himself and he puts his arms around you, making you feel safer, protected, and you can deal the agony better, even by a bit.

If he could, he would take away all the pain that you’re feeling, he would go through all that agony a thousands times, just so he could spare you all this pain, he would volunteer to get his wings burnt, grow a new set of horns, would even let himself go through all the paranoia, the nightmares, the burning feeling of your skin...Even the incapacity to eat demon food...Only to spare you of all that horror...

But that wasn’t possible, unfortunately, so all he could do was stay by your side through all of it and try to make it more bearable, because, after all, he still had Belphie, so he wasn’t alone, and neither will you be.

He completely forgot how, at the beginning, for quite a long time, his body refused to digest demon food, so he would get sick and vomit every time he would try to eat something, but was quickly reminded when you made a sprint to the bathroom and he could only hold your hair as you puked your guts out, crying at the pain.

“Why do I have to go through this...God...Why...The wings...The horns...And now, I can’t even eat? Am I supposed to just starve to death...? Is that what you want, Father? Is this the Divine Punishment I get for wanting my loved ones to be safe? That I wanted to see you and tell you how much I care for you, because I never got the chance when you were still an angel? Is that how angels should really be? Hateful of others? Then I’m glad I don’t have to associate myself with such cruel creatures like you, Father!” you growled in anger, frustration, pain, hatred and agony, letting out all your feelings that have been bottled up for so many centuries, but at least now, Beel was there to hold you tight and tell you that everything will be okay, and you still have him.

He would completely stop eating around you, because despite being the Avatar of Gluttony, he couldn’t possibly tempt you with food and make you feel worse, so every so often, he would bring you some light human food, like crackers, water, milk, some vegetables, toast, to help you get some nutrients for your body, so you won’t collapse, at least, even though it was obvious you were becoming paler and skinnier, which worried Beel a lot.

Even so, Beel was always by your side, carrying you if you felt weak at some moment, helping you eat bit by beat, making sure you get a healthy portions, and just the right foods, integrating some little bits of demon food, and before you knew it, you were completely able to have a proper demon meal, and were getting better.

From then on, you will always sleep in his bed, either cuddling or holding hands, because both of you are afraid of losing the other, of having through go through all that torture again, but at least the day was much brighter and you could inally go out together and live your life as a normal student in Devildom would.

--- BELPHEGOR

The Avatar of Sloth has so much pent up rage and hatred, that he may need to take over the title of Avatar of Wrath before long.

First, hating the whole human world, because of Lilith’s death, hating demons because of the misunderstanding with Diavolo and Lucifer, and now, wanting to burn and torture to death the whole Celestial Realm for shunning you like that, letting you to rot, broken, on the ground, as if you were worth less than a vermin.

It took every ounce of self-control Belphegor had to stop himself from unleashing his hatred on the world, and get you to his room to tend to you, hoping and doing his best to make sure you are alright.

He is going to force Beel to keep him awake, because, due to his Avatar Sin, he is prone to falling asleep quite easily, which would only be counter-productive and he wouldn’t be able to sooth your pain and fears this way, so he’s going to sacrifice days and nights of sleep just to make sure you’re not crying anymore.

No matter how harsh his speech is, it does a complete 180 when it comes to you, he will speak in the softest voice possible, would look at you with the most tender look on his face, would give you lost of reassuring gentle kisses, would stroke your hair soothingly, while also humming an old lullaby that Lilith used to sing to him, and would brush away the hair from your face, to see your gorgeous eyes sparkling.

He hates seeing you in so much pain, but every time he curses the angels in his head, he’s just going to hug you tighter, as a way to stop himself from crying at your misfortune, because you’re too pure and kind, you don’t deserve to go through all this pain, it’s just not fair...

What was worse is that, after all this physical mess ended, the emotional and mental one only began, as you weren’t able to get a wink of sleep, because of all the nightmares plaguing your mind all the time, waking you up, making you cry and scream, tremble in fear and anxiety, while all Belphie could do was to hug you tightly, turn on the light, and tell you the same generic reassuring words because...What else was there for him to even say anymore?!

“I’m scared, Belphie, I’m scared...I’m afraid that if I fall asleep, I’m just going to get more nightmares, and maybe I won’t even wake up after that. I’m afraid that if I wake up, you will be taken away from me...Or that they will drag me back to the Celestial Realm to torture me for treason...I’m afraid I’ll have to go through all that over and over and over again...Belphie, I’m exhausted, I’m losing my mind...I just want to have one fucking night of proper sleep...Just one...Is that too much to ask? Am I really that undeserving of feeling rested, just because I fell in love? Is that how things are for those perfect frauds up there?!” you sobbed, clinging on Belphie, as he could only curse them together with you, giving you approving words, and cuddling with you, you try to fall asleep on his cow-patterned pillow, lights still on, drinking a cup of hot milk with honey, thanks to Beel who went to prepare some for the both of you.

Even for him, who has been a demon for so long, nightmares never ended, but at least they weren’t as frequent as yours, so to help you out, even by a bit, he started looking around for remedies, spells, drinks, to get you into a deep sleep with no dreams, at least for now, to help you regain even a bit of your strength back and not be a zombie anymore.

Belphie would get incredibly passive-aggressive and protective of you, growling at anyone that may be considered a threat to you, that approaches you, and wouldn’t let you alone for even a second, in fear of somehow losing you - You’re either with him, or with one of his brothers, or in yours or his room, and frankly, you’re happy knowing that you can finally feel a sense of security after so long.

[jeongjaebae]

Love Station

⇢ Jaehyun x reader | AO3

⇢ 7k of fluff, heart fluttering moments, and meme references

⇢  You never expected anything good to come out of a train delay, much less for it to play cupid on this Valentine’s Day. 

Turning 23 wasn't something you were overly excited about.

Nothing good could come out of being this age anyway—you were starting to feel old and life was starting to feel stagnant. Besides, everyone's seen the meme about checking up on your friends born in a certain year because no one likes you when you're 23. But heck, you'd already felt that way for long enough so it doesn't really matter that it's your birthday today because no one liked you at 22 either. Or at any age.

Maybe that's why you're still single on this Valentine's Day, which coincidentally happens to be the date you enter your 23rd year since birth. Whatever deity that's up there probably planned this to give you a headache every year, making you watch couples all around you broadcast their PDA everywhere while you only became one year closer to growing old and wrinkly. And dying single.

"Are you on the train yet?" Yoojin's loud voice comes through the phone. "Also what are you wearing, because I'm having an outfit dilemma again."

"Almost at the station," you reply, checking the time for the sake of it. You knew your best friend would be late regardless of the occasion, so you never had to rush. "I didn't expect it to be so cold out here. Wearing the pink blouse with the bow, that black skirt, and some thin tights. Long coat of course."

Yoojin was your best friend of seven years and happened to be the complete opposite of you. While you were generally shy, she had no qualms about talking to strangers. She'd always been bold and unabashed with her opinions, attracting quite a large group of friends and enemies alike, whereas you have always stayed within your comfort zone of invisibility. And whereas you were completely dense and unlucky when it came to boys, she had a list of them long enough for the both of you.

"Tell me you at least have some tall boots on," she replies with some rustling sounds in the background as she probably flips her entire closet upside-down. "You should've gone with a warmer outfit; there won't be any boys around for you to impress! It's only your date with boring old me."

You roll your eyes and play along. "I'm dressing to impress the cute waiter, obviously," you say, "the one with the super sweet smile who looks like NCT's Doyoung." It's all made up, of course. In reality the two of you didn't have a reservation or even a restaurant in mind yet, and of course, there's obviously nobody who could ever be as cute as Doyoung.

Your best friend was all about being spontaneous and winging it, and even letting fate decide things.

"Oh you better hope that he's not out with his girlfriend tonight then," she singsongs. "Anyway, I'll go pick out an outfit now and bring a pair of leggings for you or something. Oh and before I forget, happy birthday!"

"Thanks," you say with a smile as you approach the train station. "I'll see you soon!"

It's slightly more crowded at the station than the emptiness that usually greets you at this hour, but that's not surprising since it's Valentine's Day after all, and people would have plans in the city. And just as you would expect, there are people holding big bouquets wrapped in a special paper with hearts all over it, packs of chocolates in pink and red boxes, and delicate single roses encompassed in beautiful ribbons.

It wasn't something that you felt like you were missing out on. You've never spent Valentine's Day with someone special anyway; it was always some sort of birthday celebration with friends. Until your friends started getting into relationships and then the birthday thing got pushed to different days. Either way you didn't mind because people don't need particular days to show their love for others, so Valentine's Day was all just a big marketing scam.

Or so you tell yourself.

The February air is cold and makes it hard to pry your transit card out from your wallet with your frozen fingers. When the machine nearby is finally free, that's when you go to tap your card.

"Don't."

A hand slides right in between your card and the machine, blocking it from being detected.

"Excuse me?" you automatically respond.

The first thing you notice about this annoying stranger is that he's tall, as it takes a while for you to look up to see the face of said annoying stranger. The second thing is that he's incredibly good looking. Nice skin, large eyes, and some evidence of dimples slightly visible on each cheek. A strong jaw line and sharp gaze.

But none of that matters because he better have a good explanation for you.

"Don't waste your money tapping your card. The train's been delayed and won't come until maybe an hour later."

"What? An hour? Is this some kind of joke?"

He shakes his head. "There was an announcement a few minutes ago but they'll probably repeat it soon."

"But it's not even April Fools Day," you mutter under your breath, but proceed to put your card away anyway. "Are you serious?"

That earns you a funny look from the annoying stranger, a mixture of a smile and a grimace of sorts. "Yeah, I'm really just going to go up to strangers and prank them by telling them about a train delay."

"Well, maybe if you're one of those YouTubers who go around pranking people for reactions?"

He rolls his eyes. "No, but your reaction was terrible, by the way. A two out of ten at most."

"Hey, you're the one who had to break the news to me like that!"

The corner of his mouth twitches but before he says anything back, the blare of the announcement comes on.

"Attention all passengers! Attention all passengers. The line 1 eastbound train is experiencing delays due to a technical issue on the tracks. It may be over an hour before the track can get cleared. Once again, the eastbound train is currently experiencing delays of an hour or more. We are sorry for the inconvenience."

"And there it is. Do you believe me now?" the annoying stranger asks, raising an eyebrow at you. It's not so much of an 'I told you so', but rather a sad 'welcome to the club'.

"Yeah... sorry for not taking you seriously."

"Nah, no worries," he shrugs and gives you a quick smile. The first you'd seen from him. "We're all just stuck here now."

When he turns to look at the announcement board, that's when you take the chance to really study him. He's dressed like he's walked out of a Korean drama: turtleneck and a nice formal jacket. He looks to be about your age, maybe a university student or fresh grad. Hair gelled up and parted at the side. Perfectly dressed to go on the perfect Valentine's Day date with his perfectly stunning girlfriend.

As perfect as it can be with this whole train delay issue anyway.

You follow his gaze to the announcement board and see that it now has red words everywhere, indicating all the delays of the trains. It definitely wasn't looking good. Even if Valentine's Day was nowhere close to being one of your favourite holidays, you were looking forward to at least seeing a friend on your birthday.

"Yeah, I guess so. On the one day I had plans in the city." You sigh at the thought that seeing your best friend might not be possible anymore.

 "I know the feeling," he frowns, somehow still looking just as good as before which is entirely a mystery to you, "I'm also supposed to be in the city tonight."

You nod, then pull out your phone to shoot Yoojin a quick text about the delay. The cold wind sears your hands and you yet again regret wearing so little when you knew this train station didn't have an indoor waiting area.  

"So, what are our options for getting out of here now? Do you think the buses are still running because we could probably take one?" he suggests.

The 'we' takes you by surprise, but then you realize that he's probably talking about everyone here. All of the ten or so people that are just stuck at this station in the cold for the next hour.

You grimace at the thought of dissipating his ounce of hope. "Well, the nearest bus station is all the way across town, so by the time we get there maybe the trains will have already started working."

The handsome stranger sighs. "Maybe an Uber then?"

"It'll be rush hour soon so that only works if you want to be going during the most expensive time of day using the most expensive form of transportation."

"Ah, that's true." He looks disappointed. "Hmm, if the trains don't come by the next hour, maybe I'll just head to the bus stop."

Oh how nice it would be to have a car to get there yourself.

Buzz. The phone vibrates in your pocket and you could already imagine how Yoojin would be reacting to your news. Hopefully she hadn't already started on her crazy makeup routine yet, because who knows if your meet-up could actually happen at this rate.

"It's chill, don't worry about it! I'll head to you instead. Text you when I'm near."

Sometimes Yoojin's spontaneity was just what you needed. You message her a quick thanks and then shove the phone into your pocket before your fingers freeze off.

It's quiet for a bit and you almost forget about the handsome stranger entirely until there's a crinkling sound and you find yourself staring at the rose in the pocket of his coat, the clear foil around it blowing gently in the wind. It was on the side facing away from you earlier, which is probably how you didn't notice upon first glance.

Of course, he has a girlfriend. With a face like that, who wouldn't have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend. Maybe even multiple.

"Special occasions, right?" The corners of his lips are curled as if holding back a grin, and like this his dimples are visible.

But why was he still talking to you? You figured he was probably just trying to be friendly seeing as the two of you would be stuck here for an indefinite amount of time. Maybe you'll even become all buddy-buddy by the time this ordeal finishes. While you weren't a fan of small talk or talking to strangers, it was nice to be able to have someone by your side who was experiencing the same struggles.

And besides, he clearly has a girlfriend so there was no point in writing that "strangers to lovers" fan fiction in your head.

You clear your throat. "So... Valentine's date with your girlfriend?"

"Valentine's—" he pauses for a second and you can almost see the gears turning in his head. "Right, it's Valentine's Day today. Nah, I'm celebrating my birthday instead." Then he holds up the rose up and glances at it as if he'd also forgotten about it. "And no girlfriend. This is for my cousin. Her boyfriend's overseas so it's hard for them to meet up, so I thought I would get something nice for her and keep her company."

That actually takes you off guard and causes you to replay the words in your mind to make sure you heard correctly.

"Wait, it's your birthday today? Really?"

He gives you a strange look. "Yeah, there are actually people born on Valentine's Day, believe it or not."

"That's not what I meant—"

"I'm just kidding." His eyes twinkle in amusement. "It's also your birthday today, isn't it?"

"What—how did you know?"

He chuckles. "Your reaction said everything."

"Wow, someone is a smartie."

"What about you? Valentine's or birthday date with your boyfriend?"

"Best friend," you correct him. "And yeah, it's a birthday dinner."

"That's nice. I've actually never met anyone else with a Valentine's Day birthday."

"Honestly, same."

His eyes curve up into crescents as he smiles with his entire body, and it's dazzling and is so bright that it makes you want to stare for just a moment longer. The two of you laugh for a while at that coincidence, still amazed.

"So, how old are you turning?"

You groan, "The age where no one likes you."

"Ah, I just passed that." He wrinkles his nose as if remembering how terrible a year it was. "But hey, can't have no one liking you at that age if no one liked you anyway."

His words immediately put an image of that roll safe meme into your head and you find yourself laughing.

"Wow, those are my thoughts exactly."

The handsome stranger only gives you an innocent shrug. His meme game was on point, and that almost makes your heart flutter for a second. Almost.

Another cold breeze whips your hair into your face and blows straight through your thin tights, making you shiver.

"Hey, um, I hope this isn't too forward... but since we're stuck here anyways for the next while, do you want to possibly go hang out in town?" He bites his lips a little, making his dimples stand out even more. "It just kind of sucks to see our birthdays go to waste like this. Only if you're comfortable with it though, but of course we'll be in public areas the entire time."

You couldn't believe your ears for the second time today.

On one hand, the logical voice in your head was screaming stranger danger because you just met him! You hadn't even exchanged more than a few sentences! On the other hand, you could already picture Yoojin telling you to never waste an opportunity, to go with the flow and live life a little recklessly. To stop waiting for a train that might never come, to stop waiting for perfectly planned moments in life that might never occur.

"So, what do you think?"

Besides, if he's not some crazy serial killer or anything along those lines, the only other danger you could possibly see was getting heartbroken. But of course there's no way you'd fall for a stranger in one day; you didn't believe in love at first sight or fate or whatever other mushy romantic cliches that movies love to portray. This would merely be a fun time between two people who happened to be stuck together because of a train delay, on a day that happened to be both of their birthdays. A simple coincidence, really.

"You know what," you smile. "Screw it. Let's go."

***

The smell of the arcade brings back memories from when you were a child—friends' birthday parties, hangouts in middle school, the occasional school trip. It had been fun as a child even though you hadn't been very good at any of the games and probably never won anything worth keeping. Looking back, you hadn't set foot in this place in years.

"We'll get the one with the most tokens," the handsome stranger—Jaehyun—says to the guy behind the counter, flashing you a smile when you raise an eyebrow at him.

Jaehyun. It had sounded so pretty when he introduced himself.

You'd been afraid that conversation would come out awkward and forced between two strangers brought together by no more than a train delay, not knowing where or when or how to start. But there was actually never a dull moment between the flow of words and laughter that made you feel as if he was someone you've known for a long time. The short walk to the arcade had been spent on reminiscing and comparing past memories of growing up in this town, brainstorming fun places and cool restaurants that you'd been to or have yet to go to, pointing at familiar buildings and telling funny stories about interesting moments spent in there.

"Come on, let's go." He leads the way into the main area where all the action is.  

The arcade still looks the same as the last time you were here, though everything seems smaller than you'd remembered it. Bright lights flashing from every machine, loud noises at every corner. So many games that you'd once thought it was impossible to play through all of them.

"Let's start with this one?" You point to the zombie shooting game. It was something that you had always wanted to try as a kid out of pure curiosity, but you'd been too scared to at the time.

"That one? Really?" He raises a brow at your suggestion. "Alright, but I bet I can beat you."

"I would also bet on you winning," you respond dully.

After choosing characters and weapons on screen, the two of you settle in your seats and finally start. It's like watching a horror movie where you expect huge jump scares at every corner except there's no music build-up or anything to warn you that a zombie might just show up. Horror was definitely not your forte but maybe he was better at handling these things than you were.

You get your answer when the first wave of zombies finally show up. Jaehyun screams. You scream.

Somehow you manage to shoot some of them by pure instinct guiding you, however your aim isn't exactly good with your eyes closed half of the time. By the time the screaming dies down and you notice that both your characters had died in the zombie battle, you finally turn to see how he's doing. The way his face is twisted in a mixture of utter shock and horror would've been something to laugh at if you hadn't been just as scared.  

"If I recall, someone said they were going to beat me at this," you tease after seeing the final score. Neither of you did particularly well, though your score somehow turned out to be much higher than his.

"You should've given me a warning that it would be this scary."

You burst out laughing at his expression. "I didn't know either!"

That's when you notice how you're clinging to each other. Your hand clutching his arm, his hand right on top of yours.

"Oops, sorry," you mutter and quickly detangle yourself from him.

"It's fine," he says with a laugh. "But yeah, those zombies were next level."

Needless to say, you guys don't go back to that game.

The arcade is quite empty on this afternoon and you're glad that most of the games are unoccupied and can be played right away. Even with everything going well so far, you still have the fear of having awkward silences and uncomfortable conversation.

It's a while later when you try again at a different shooting game, though luckily this time it isn't zombies that you're dealing with, so it isn't scary at all. It's a teamwork game this time, and what surprises you the most is just how good your teamwork turns out to be.

"To your left, in the corner."

"Phew, got him. Thanks," you reply, promptly shooting the character before he could shoot you. "Watch out—right above you."

"Got it."

It lasts a few rounds but you manage to make it to the end and finally clear the game.

Jaehyun's whole face is lit up when he turns to you. "Wow, that was awesome. Great teamwork."

He holds up both his hands for you to high-five, and just as your hands meet his, you can't help but notice the way they linger together a little longer.  

Time flies as the two of you go from game to game and you're trying your best to beat him at any game possible. While he does let you win some of the time, more often than not, he ends up winning. Though it's not like you could be upset about it at all when he looked so happy after each win, excitedly showing you his score or prize. It was definitely nice to be as carefree as kids again.

Yet there was something deeper with the adrenaline coursing through your veins and heart racing that it becomes hard to tell whether it may be from the excitement of the games, the warmth of his body right beside you as he patiently teaches you his strategies for winning, the bright smiles that seem to light up his whole face, or those damn dimples.

Why did this Valentine's boy have to be not only heartbreakingly handsome but also incredibly kind and considerate?

"Hey, you want to try one of those?" The sound of Jaehyun's voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you silently pray that you hadn't been staring at him subconsciously. And if you had been staring, hopefully he didn't notice as he's pointing to the line of game stands at the side where the games are always rigged and you can never win big prizes.

"I've never won anything from there before, so I sure hope you're good at those."

He ends up picking a dart game out of all the options, but maybe this one would be easier than the rest.

The man at the dart stand greets you and explains the rules. "Are you trying to win something for your girlfriend?"

"Oh, we're not—" you start but stop as soon as you hear what Jaehyun says instead.

"It's Valentine's Day after all," he says easily then follows with a wink at you.

He didn't deny...?

It's three shots dead center to win one of the biggest prizes or five within the smallest ring. It makes your heart pound a little faster seeing Jaehyun so focused with his nice stance, sleeves rolled up slightly, and intense eyes on the target. However, he misses on the first shot with his dart going off the board.

"Well that's no fun," the man says, frowning at where the dart landed. "I suppose I could give you another chance, since it's Valentine's Day and all. Wouldn't want to end up empty handed, right?" He laughs to himself but puts the dart back in Jaehyun's hand.

"Thank you," he says, flustered judging by the hint of a blush that sweeps his cheeks. "I'm not usually this bad."

"It's okay! You're doing great, sweetie," you joke.

He rolls his eyes at you despite the way his lips curl up at the corners, then gets ready to throw the dart again. And this time? You're sure your jaw is to the floor when he manages to get all three darts to hit the board dead center. The man congratulates him for winning and then they disappear into the back room to pick a prize. Jaehyun later comes out holding the biggest dog plushie you've ever seen.

Once you're back outside after the arcade adventure, that's when he stops and turns to you.

"I wasn't sure what you'd like but I hope this is okay," he says quietly, gingerly handing you the giant plushie.

"It's great, Jaehyun." You meet his gaze as you take the plushie and he quickly looks away. "Thank you."

"You know, I'm really glad we ended up doing this. It's even better than what I had planned originally." Then he adds more quietly, "One of the best birthdays I've had in a while."  

"Yeah," you smile. "Me too."

It's only then when you realize that Yoojin and the rest of your plans had totally slipped your mind.

***

It's chilly outside as the two of you walk around town. Valentine's Day decorations were everywhere, with the chalkboard menus of local restaurants featuring couple meal sets with tons of hearts drawn around them, various pink and red plushies lined up on the windowsills of nearby shops, and even lamp posts on the streets covered with mini heart shaped lights. The sight of those things usually would've made you roll your eyes and pretend to puke, but somehow it doesn't seem to bother you quite so much today. It's as if you're seeing everything through a new perspective—one that might find the rosy decorations pretty and one that might understand the hype of such a holiday.

"Y/N," Jaehyun suddenly says, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to his side. Before you could even react, he's quickly switching positions with you so that you're sheltered between him and the wall of the nearby building.

Then he's turning to you. Hand on the wall behind your head, body leaning towards you.

So close that you could see the individual eyelashes framing his eyes.

But in the next instant he's looking behind him where a car drives by and splashes up a large amount of water from the melting snow on the side of the street. Which lands right where you were standing just a moment ago.

Jaehyun turns back to you, eyes filled with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," you breathe. "Um, are you?"

"That's good." He glances behind him and then reassures you with a quick smile. "And yeah, all good."

"It was a close call. Thanks for saving me."

"Wouldn't want your clothes to be ruined by that." He laughs. "How are you doing though? It's pretty cold out here."

"I'm okay," you automatically reply.

That earns you a skeptical look. "Your cheeks are all red. Come on, let's go warm up somewhere."

When you resume walking, he's taking the outer edge of the sidewalk.

A couple of blocks later is when you find out that the place he had in mind turns out to be the local coffee shop. You'd never been there before but had always thought of it as a cute place when you pass by it, so when you enter, the interior definitely matches up to your expectations. It has a rustic theme with warm glow from fairy lights hanging from the ceiling and there's soft music playing in the background, a nice place to study if it's as empty as today.

Jaehyun buys you your drink. Kind of.

"I bought one, but they gave me one for free," he says, beaming when he comes back to the table with the drinks—a coffee for him and a latte with a cute little heart floating in it for you. "Maybe the barista was charmed by my smile."

"Hmm." You look behind him to see a sign at the front of the store saying, 'Buy one get one free—Valentine's Day special'. "Are you sure it wasn't because of my charming smile?"

"You're right, that could be it. You are quite cute."

"Exactly."

Wait, what did he just say?

You do a double take but he's merely staring back at you with dimples just barely visible and eyes sparkling through thick eyelashes that you could only wish yours looked like.

Suddenly it feels like the heater's on extra high in this cafe or maybe it was the way the latte burns your tongue as you take a big gulp. Whatever it was, it definitely succeeds in warming you up a little too well, especially your face.

"You okay? Don't burn yourself," he says, the amusement in his eyes betraying the concern in his voice.

You nearly spit your drink out at him. "Nah, no burn. I'm good, thanks," you say dryly.

Time seems to slow down as you relax in your seat, body finally warming up in the coziness of the cafe. The small corner you're in almost feels like a liminal space; such a transient place you'd only ever noticed while passing by, yet a whole different world on the inside where one can hide forever. Perhaps you wanted to hide here, to enjoy the fleeting moments of a strange but amazing birthday.

Conversation ebbs and flows though you're a little surprised when Jaehyun opens up about his life. His passion for music, especially, is what picks up traction as he happens to know your favourite group, NCT. From there it becomes a debate of whether Doyoung or Taeyong was the best looking member (you insist that Doyoung's Instagram was all the proof one needed, whereas he points out that Taeyong's sharp jawline could totally cut that VVS diamonds they keep singing about). You definitely don't tell Jaehyun the fact that maybe—just maybe—he's even more attractive than your NCT biases and that he could totally be an actor from a Korean drama.

Everything you hear about him makes you appreciate his vulnerability, yet you can't help but wonder if he's so open with just anybody. You were a complete stranger, after all.

Yet every time you see the twinkle in his eyes when your gaze accidentally meets his, part of you wonders if 'strangers' no longer fits the definition of where this strange relationship was going. It leaves you with wanting to avoid looking at him which is quite difficult with him seated directly across from you. Maybe you should've sat where your plushie was, taking up its own chair between the two of you, but it's too late and now you're left to deal with the audible thud of your heart every time you make eye contact with him.

And yet when you think about it, you realize that it wasn't Jaehyun's cute dimples or his deep voice or his lame jokes that had your nerves acting up.

It was probably the caffeine.

But maybe it was the small things that you hadn't even realized you'd noticed. Earlier at the arcade when he patiently taught you the games that you were unfamiliar with, letting you win games but also winning at them himself just so he could give you the prize. Saving you from a car first then from the cold with the warmth of the cafe. Opening the door for you, sitting closer to the door to block the cold wind from reaching you.

And how despite the number of reschedules and plan cancellations you both had to make due to the train delay, he hasn't pulled his phone out a single time. You admired how in the midst of all the chaos today, he was still nothing but calm and polite the entire time and seemed to have everything under control. He was a comforting presence that made you forget about the madness of the outside world for a little while.

Nah, it had to be the caffeine.

Still, you find yourself glad to be stuck here with him, even as far as dreading when you both had to leave. You're definitely appreciating Yoojin's ability to be late right about now.

A lull in the conversation has you sneaking a glance at your phone to check up on your best friend. There's no text from her as she's either still doing her extravagant makeup or still on her way here, but for some reason you let out the breath you held in relief.

"I wonder if the trains are running now." A glance out the window shows you the remnants of sunset and the quickly darkening skies. Then you cautiously throw out the question that you'd been holding onto for a while. Something that you'd been reluctant to bring up, carefully stepping around it the whole day, and something that he hasn't talked about either. "Oh right, didn't you say you would end up taking a bus? If the delay is still going on."

Maybe it's a test to see his reaction, maybe it's to end this vague relationship before you become even more attached than you already are. Because any rational person wouldn't just throw away all their birthday plans for someone they'd just met.

"Oh. Right." Jaehyun looks down and swirls the stir stick in his drink. Clockwise, counter-clockwise, back and forth. "I, uh, actually forgot that I didn't drive here today." He shoots you a sheepish grin then runs his fingers through his hair that has deflated quite a bit since you first saw him. "So can't exactly drive over to the bus stop."

You smile back weakly. "Ah, that's okay. There's probably a ton of traffic out there now anyways."

An ambiguous answer for an equally ambiguous relationship. It could definitely be a real excuse, yet somehow the thought of that makes you almost disappointed. Maybe there are no answers to the questions and uncertainties muddled in your mind.

"But did you want to get rid of me so fast?" He actually pouts at you, as if his regular face weren't already enough to break hearts.

"What? No, of course not? I—what?" you manage to get out.

"Okay, good!" The pout immediately goes back into his regular smile. "Phew. It's sad enough being single on Valentine's Day; no need to get rejected on top of that."

Then his phone buzzes and it finally pulls it out.

"As if anyone would reject you," you mutter under your breath while he's distracted.

It's true. You might've expected Jaehyun's appearance to be making up for other areas, or maybe even hoping he'd be too rude or too blunt or have a bad character. Because the cognitive dissonance in your head wants a reason or excuse to remain distant and emotionally detached from him. But the kindness and authenticity that you saw today just leaves you without a reason, which makes it that much harder to stop yourself from liking him.

"Sorry about that; what did you say?"

"Nothing!" You plaster on a cheerful smile.

"Okay, my cousin is going to be here soon."

"Oh."

Then there's the sinking of your heart, the inevitable dread that this unexpectedly enjoyable afternoon is coming to an end. Somehow it manages to crush the anticipation you had for your birthday celebration with Yoojin.

"You know, I kind of feel bad that you paid for everything today," you say. "Let me pay you back?"

"It's fine, Y/N. We had fun and that's all that matters."

"True, but you should've at least let me buy the drinks!"

That manages to make him smile but it quickly dies as he bites his lip, suddenly hesitant. "If you really want to..."

"Yes!"

"...you could just pay next time."

What.

"Next time?" you repeat, afraid to believe what you were hearing.

"I mean, if you—maybe—want to hang out again sometime?"

You open your mouth to say something, or maybe it was already open in your state of shock. Nothing comes out as if you lost your voice.

Jaehyun briefly meets your eyes before continuing. "Well, um—I just wanted to say that I had a really good time with you today. I know the train thing was probably an inconvenience to everyone else but to be honest, I'm kind of glad that happened." He laughs a little. Stops. Bites his lip. "And yeah, if you're down, we could hang out again sometime. Because I'd love to get to know you better."

Thud.

You could only stare back at him as the roaring of your pulse becomes all you can hear. The whole day you were telling yourself that it shouldn't be possible to develop feelings for someone within a day, almost trying to hold yourself back from enjoying your time with him to the fullest in the fear that you might be wrong. And it's not like you developed crushes very easily, but here in front of you was a boy so friendly and good-natured even to a stranger he'd just met, someone who really seemed to care about you.

"Jaehyun..."

He continues, "I know it's weird meeting like this, and I don't really believe in this whole fate thing where we just happened to be stuck here and we happen to have the same birthday. All I can say is that I really enjoyed talking to you and hearing your thoughts and um, youknowyou'rereallybeautiful."

The logical inner voice had been screaming stranger danger the entire time because you didn't know him at all! You'd just met him today! Yet the small fic writer voice in your head, which definitely sounded a lot like your best friend's voice, was trying to convince you that maybe fate does exist. That if it doesn't, how likely was it that you met someone with the same birthday which happened to be Valentine's Day? That you met at exactly the right time and that the train the two of you were going to take was delayed? That you managed to have one of the best birthdays that you could recall?

Maybe sometimes you need to let go of any fears and just live life to its fullest. Let yourself feel a wide range of emotions without being afraid of getting heartbroken. Stop holding back and just be true to yourself.

It suddenly feels too hot in the cafe once again.

"Yeah," your voice comes out quiet, unsteady, but his words give you the courage to reach over to hesitantly take his hand. "Today has been amazing and I'm so thankful that you're the one I was stuck with."

His eyes flicker to yours then away. "But...?"

"There is no 'but'. Jaehyun, I'd love to see you again."

"Yeah?" He lets out a long exhale before his face visibly brightens again. "That's a relief. I didn't think you would agree, but I didn't want to have you walk out of my life just like that."

Then there isn't a need for any more words as shy smiles are exchanged and fleeting gazes meet and there's a warmth bubbling in your chest. It's as if you spent the whole day worrying over nothing. That somehow, everything worked out. That maybe it was fate, and maybe it wasn't, but the connection you thought you felt wasn't just one-sided. It was something real, something tangible.

"Jeong Jaehyun!"

The booming voice jolts the two of you out of the moment and makes you immediately spring apart.

"Did you seriously make me take the train all the way here just for you? Who is this girl because she better be real nice for you to ditch me—" The loud voice from the woman walking into the cafe stops right when her eyes land on you. She smiles sheepishly, dipping her head lightly as if apologizing for her outburst. "Never mind; forget I said anything. I approve."

"Nice to see you too, Minah," Jaehyun greets as you both stand. You can see how his face is still flushed from earlier, but now he's put on a neutral expression again and what you'd seen just a moment ago has been erased. "Don't worry, I won't make you take the train back. I'll drive you home after."

"Oh, you have the car. Bless." Minah brushes her hair back, tidying it from the effects of the wind. Then she stops suddenly and narrows her eyes at him. "Wait, why didn't you just drive over if the trains stopped working?"

"You—have the car? I thought you said you got a ride," you muse out loud.

"Oh, uh. Actually I forgot I had it since I usually get a ride here and it would've taken too long to drive there in rush hour anyway... so... yeah..." He trails off and shifts his weight from one foot to another, and it's even more evident how flushed his face is, from his cheeks to the tips of his ears.

You hear a snort and see Minah practically shaking with quiet laughter.

"Y/N!" The bell at the door rings again as Yoojin steps into the cafe, bringing a rush of cold air in with her. "There you are! And oh—" she stops mid-sentence when she spots you with Jaehyun, his cousin, and the massive plushie sitting in its own chair. "Minah?"

"Yoojin?"

"You guys know each other?" you ask tentatively.

"We were friends in high school!" Yoojin replies. Then gives you a questioning look. "Minah, it's been so long. We should totally catch up."

Minah nods enthusiastically, jumping up to give Yoojin a warm hug. "Totally!" Then she briefly glances at Jaehyun. "Well, I was supposed to have dinner with my little cousin over here but if you and your friend are free, then we could all go somewhere together?"

"How about we head over to that cute little diner that was our hangout spot for the longest time?" Yoojin suggests with a glance over at you and Jaehyun.

Minah squeals. "Let's do it; it'd be just like old times!"

"Actually, if you don't mind, I wanted to borrow Y/N for a bit," Jaehyun says. "We'll let you guys catch up in peace without a third and four wheel."

"Yoojin, we can always hang out another time if you want to go with Minah."

Your best friend looks at you suspiciously with her eyes narrowed. "Hmm, yeah that works. I'll call you later and you better give me all the details though."

"Okay, deal."

And with that, they both head for the door. Yoojin turns to give you one last wink before they're gone.  

"I guess it's just us." Jaehyun's eyes are sparkling when they meet yours and he gives a gentle smile before shyly holding you hand. "We're probably too late for my reservation, but there are some good food places not too far from here."

"So..."

"Have dinner with me?"

"Hmm, I thought you didn't have your car here."

He looks pained. "Y/N!"

"I'm just kidding! I'm actually starving so let's go."

***

It's hours of delicious food, good conversation, and shy glances later that he finally drops you off at home. When your phone buzzes this time, it's not from Yoojin—it's a text from an unknown number followed by an image attachment.

"I have a feeling this is very false for you :)" it reads. And your heart skips a beat when you see the image.

It's the "no one likes you when you're 23" meme.

On the day of your 23rd birthday, you definitely weren't expecting anyone to like you, just as you haven't for the past 22 years. But with the words in Jaehyun's text that you read and reread, the light fragrance of the rose now in your vase and the giant plushie on your bed, and your mind replaying his bright smile and dimples and the sparkle in his eyes, it seemed like today was different.

Maybe today, someone just might like you when you're 23.

[laventae]

Serendipity

Summary: You accidentally bump into Suna once, then a second time, then a third time.... before it starts seeming like fate has already decided its course for the both of you.

Pairings: Suna Rintaro x F!reader

Genre: Mostly fluff, College/Uni au

Word count: 2.6k words

Part: (1) , 2 , (3) , (TBC)

(A/N: This chapter is shorter than what I had in mind, but I kind of want to leave it with that ending. Maybe I’ll make the next one slightly longer. Anyways..)

Ring Ring 

Ring Ring

‘I hope I don’t run into him today...’ you think before you jolt up on your bed and reach for your phone.

You dismiss the alarm and sit in bed for a few minutes, thinking about the night before.

Your heart rate quickens when you think about how badly the night could’ve ended, with the creepy old man following you out of the bar, and almost following you home. And how grateful you were when your ‘neighbor’ stepped in to help you out.  

You curl yourself up in a ball and hold back a scream when you think about how you lied to him about where you lived, only to see him again in front of your actual apartment, a couple of minutes later.

‘No, you know what, I did nothing wrong’ you assure yourself as you sit up in bed again, ‘I just wanted to play it safe, and after what happened with that creep, nobody can blame me for doing what I did, right?’

You sigh as you get out of bed and head to the bathroom to freshen up.

‘I still hope I don’t run into him today...’ you think to yourself, again, as you leave the bathroom and head for the kitchen to have a quick bite, before getting ready for work.

After about an hour, you’ve already finished having breakfast and you get ready to head out. You look at the time

8:48 A.M

‘Yeah, my shift starts at 9, so I guess I should head out right now’

You grab your bag and keys, then head for the door to put on your shoes.

When you were done, you open the door to your apartment. You stop in your tracks as soon as you notice your neighbor leaving his apartment as well.

‘Are you kidding me?’ you think, as you both stare at each other for a moment.

You clear your throat, leaving your apartment, then close the door behind you. You notice him do the same, turning his back to you to make sure he locks his door.

“Good morning...!” you try to greet him, hoping to dissolve the awkwardness you felt between the both of you.

He turns around to face you when he was done and nods, “Good morning” he replies, the same blank expression from yesterday plastered on his face. He then starts walking to the elevator.

‘I can’t read him at all; does he even remember what happened yesterday?’

“Wait!” you call out to him and he stops and turns around to face you.

‘Wait, what even am I supposed to say right now?’

“Yes?” he asks when you don’t say anything.

You walk up to him, and look at the floor embarrassed, “I just uh... wanted to thank you again... for yesterday,” you look up at him again, “And I'm sorry for lying to you about where I lived, when you were just trying to help”

He looks at you for a few seconds, and you feel yourself become uneasy under his sharp gaze, before he finally nods and speaks up again, “No, it’s understandable. You did good” he pats your head for a second, before looking away, turning to the elevators, “And you don’t have to thank me” he continues as he starts walking to the elevators once again.

You feel yourself slightly flush at the sudden and unexpected action, still frozen in place where he left you, and you curse yourself in your head for thinking he sounded super cool just then.

‘I still can’t read him at all, though...’ you think before turning back to him, and notice him entering the elevator.

“Wait!” you call out again, “Wait for me!”

You rush to elevator and notice him holding the door open, looking at his phone, but looks up at you for a second before you get in. He goes back to scrolling on his phone as the door closes.

“Uhmm...” you hesitantly start, noticing him look up at you from the corner of your eye, “I’d still like to thank you, though. Uh, I work at this café, like five minutes away from here, it’s called The Hub Café,” you pause for a second to look at him, he doesn’t say anything, waiting for you to continue, “If you, like, ever want to pass by and have some coffee, or anything really, it’s on me”

He still doesn’t say anything, just stares at you. You look away, becoming uneasy under his gaze, once again. 

Needing to fill the silence, you speak up again, “I mean, I know it isn’t much, and it definitely doesn’t compare to how you helped me out yesterday, but-”

Your rambling, however, is interrupted when you hear him chuckle lightly, and you look at him feeling embarrassed again.

“I’ll think about it” he tells you casually, and looks back at his phone, but you notice a faint smile on his lips.

‘Wow, so he can smile, huh...?’ you think to yourself but feel yourself slightly flush when you notice yourself staring at him.

“Right...” you mumble as the elevator door opens and he gets off, heading for the apartment building door.

‘Well, I think that went well?’ you sigh as you get off the elevator as well.

-~-~-

You hear the door of the café open and you quickly look up from the register, subconsciously hoping it was him.

‘What am I even thinking right now...’ you sigh, slightly disappointed, when you see a random customer come in instead.

A week has passed by since the last time you saw him.

It kind of starts making you feel bad. I mean was he avoiding you on purpose? Or was he just super busy? Did he even leave his apartment at all? Or has he not even been there this whole time?

You slowly start noticing yourself glance up at the door, at you part-time job, more often. Whenever someone comes in, you somewhat hope it’s him. You subconsciously start leaving your house every day around the same time you left the last time you both bumped into each other, before you left for work. You take your time unlocking the door when you get home, hoping he would also get home around the same time, or maybe leave his apartment by then.

But, nothing.

“Thank you for your hard work! Have a nice weekend!” you hear your boss call out to you as you head for the door at the end of your shift.

“Thank you! You too!” you answer and leave the café.

You sigh, ‘he didn’t come today either...’

Lately, you’ve been trying your best to cut back on taking late night shifts, scared of having another run-in with that old man. And thankfully, it’s only about 3 p.m in the afternoon right now, people still out, bustling around the shops, so you felt comfortable walking back home on your own.

You groan as you start making your way back home.

‘Why am I even still thinking about him? Whatever...' you think as you grab your phone from your bag and call Hina, to try and get your mind off of it.

The line rings a couple of times before she picks up.

“Heyy y/n!” she answers the phone, her usual excited tone never failing to cheer you up when you wanted to.

“Hey Hina, you busy right now?”

“Nope, not all, what's up?” she asks sounding concerned.

“Nothing specific, was hoping you would keep me company as I walk back home”

“OH! Of course! So... what’s on your mind, hm?”

“Huh? Nothing... Like I said, I just wanted the company”

You hear her laugh on the other end of the line, “You pretend like we haven’t been best friends for the last 2 years, you know. So come on, spill. I know you always call me like this when you’re overthinking something, so, what is it?”

“Nothing...” you say pouting, and you hear her laugh again.

“Who’s bothering you? Is it your boss? Or Oh! Is it about that guy? Your neighbor? Did you run into him again?”

You sigh, “Well, yes, it's about him... But no, it’s more like, what’s bothering me is that I haven’t run into him again, how is that even possible? He literally lives right in front of me!”

“There it is,” you hear her giggle before she continues, “Listen, I don’t know what happened with him, but honestly, you need to just forget about him”

Frankly speaking, you haven’t really told her exactly what happened between the both of you. You just told her that he helped you out of an uncomfortable situation a couple of days prior. It’s not that you were hiding something from her, you knew you were eventually going to tell her what happened, but honestly, you yourself still hadn’t wrapped your head around how that night unfolded, so you weren't really ready to talk to her about it just yet.

Besides, the fact that she always hated you insisting on walking everywhere didn’t help, especially at night. She always offered to walk you back home herself, drive you back, or at least call a cab for you. She’s always been protective of you like that. So, you know that all hell would break loose when she hears about what happened, and you weren't ready for her berating you about it. It was all out of love, you knew that, but you just weren’t ready yet.

“I know... I know...” you sigh again, “I’m trying. Anyways, it’s just stupid, like I was just trying to thank him, but whatever” you continue as you notice you were almost close to your apartment building.

“Hey, you know what? I know what would help you get your mind off him. How about that date I was telling you about?” she asks, getting excited again.

‘Cupid Hina is back’ you think as you roll your eyes.

“Really? Right now?” you chuckle.

“Yes! It’s literally the perfect time, come on! It’ll help you get your mind off things”

“You won’t quit even if I say no, will you?”

“You know I won’t” she says and you hear her giggle.

You groan as you get into your building.

“I promise you, he’s super cool, and super nice, I’m literally one hundred percent sure you guys would hit it off” she continues.

You sigh as you wait next to elevator, “How is he any different from all the other people you set me up with?”

“I just know” she answers you, way too confident.

You sigh again, “And you told me he was your cousin or something? Rintaro? That was his name, right?”

“Yes! He just got back from abroad, like, a couple of weeks ago. So, what do you think about it? This weekend maybe? You’re off tomorrow, right?”

“Sure, sure, whatever,” you answer, hoping to just end the call before you get in the elevator, “tomorrow is fine”

“Yaaaay! Alright, I'll text you the details later tonight, alright?”

“Alright.” you both say your goodbyes before you get in the elevator and get to your apartment.

No sign of your neighbor that day either.

-~-~-

You get to the restaurant early, and the host guides you to your table.

“Here are your menus,” they say, placing a menu on the table in front of you, and on the opposite side of the table, where your date is supposed to sit, “If you need anything else, please let me know”

“Alright, thank you” you say. They nod and walk back to welcome the other guests.

You usually prefer going early to places you’ve never been to, especially when going on dates, just so you could check the ambiance of the place and familiarize yourself with the area and menu before your date gets there. Somehow, that makes you feel more comfortable.

However, this time, the place Hina tells you that your date booked was a much fancier restaurant than the usual, which, similarly, makes you even more nervous than usual. You don’t usually opt to go on fancy restaurant dates, you’re much more comfortable in more casual settings.

You wait for about 15 minutes, going through the menu a couple of times and checking your phone occasionally, until you notice it’s past the time when your date was supposed to be there. You look around the restaurant but only see couples sitting around on their tables, probably on dates as well, but nobody else was coming in.

You sigh and decide to go to the toilet and freshen up for a bit.

After doing so, you wash your hands and look at the mirror.

‘What am I even doing here...?’ you sigh to yourself, ‘If he doesn’t get here in 10 minutes, I'm legally allowed to leave, right?’

You chuckle to yourself at how lame that sounded, but you decide to go with it anyway. If he doesn’t get here in ten minutes, you’ll leave.

You nod your head at your reflection before grabbing a paper towel, and drying your hands.

You take one last look in the mirror, fixing your hair, before leaving the toilet.

You look around the restaurant, then to your table, and find nobody there, still.

You take out your phone to text Hina as you walk to your table,

TO ‘Wifeyy <3’: “Queen, he’s nowhere to be seen, I think he’s the one who ditched this ti-”

You accidentally bump into someone before finishing the text and you drop your phone.

“Sorry! I wasn’t looking!” you say, bending down to grab your phone but the person you bumped into reaches it first.

“Oh, thank yo-” you’re cut off, flustered, when you notice your neighbor standing in front of you.

It seems like he was startled for a second as well, before you both straighten up and he hands you your phone.

“Uhm, thank you”

“No problem”

You both stand there awkwardly for a few moments.

‘Who would’ve thought? He looks good, all dressed up...’

You curse that thought before you look at him and speak up again, “Wait, what are you doing here?”

He looks at you for second before looking around the restaurant, looking for something, or someone(?), “Oh, I'm actually supposed to be meeting someone here,” he looks back at you and stares you up and down, not really in an intimidating way, more like he was analyzing the way you looked, “what about you? On a date?”

‘How can he even say, or do, things like that so casually?’

You couldn’t help but flush at the way he was looking at you, so you look away, slightly embarrassed.

“Uhm- Yeah- I guess something like that”

‘Why do we have to keep bumping into each other like this?’

“What about you?” you ask, turning to him again, “On a date as well?”

“I guess?” he answers, as he scratches the back of his head, “I mean, my cousin set me up on this blind date with her friend or something, but I think I might've been a bit late. I'm not sure if she’s still her-”

“Wait” you interrupt him

‘Wait... there’s no way...’

‘No, there’s definitely no way...’ you think as you unconsciously let out a laugh.

“What?” he asks, looking at you, confused, and your eyes snap to him.

“Uh, is your name Rintaro, by any chance?”

“Yes, why?”

‘You’ve gotta be kidding me...’

“And is your cousin’s name Hina, by any chance?”

He looks at you confused and was about to answer, before it clicks with him as well.

“You’re y/n?”

You laugh nervously, “Yeah...”

(HQ Masterlist)

[vegalocity]

Peachtea/TripSun angst idea. Nobody knew Wukong would disappear for 500 years so they're mourning until Xiaotian starts training with him. Tang composes himself to wait a little longer but Wukong just ignores all the signs. Until he gets into an argument with Tang and Tang ends up snapping "Why did you disappear for 500 years?!"

Okay so here’s the thing, I can only get behind the whole ‘The other Pilgrims ALL thought Wukong was dead and are PISSED at him now’ stuff, only, and I mean ONLY if Wukong either thought they all didn’t want to hear from him again anyway, or if he thought they were dead too.

....I mean my only contributions to all those ‘Reunion with Baije and Wujing’ posts were both ‘Wukong thought they were dead too’ so CLEARLY thats my read on the whole thing. I sincerely can’t see him just... NOT telling people he cared that much about that he was gonna bounce for that long to be alone on FFM, so if he knew they were alive he would have told them. 

And then you know someone spotted that little shrine with the origami figures in the Special and I was there like:

 So like, lets do something we’ll both enjoy here then because all of those reunion fics are almost exclusively centered around the trio, and we oh so rarely see Sanzang (whether he is Tang or not) get involved. 

So like first off, assuming LMK is on a sci fi alternate earth instead of being in the future, there’s still a solid nine hundred or so years between the end of the Pilgrimage and the supposed time Wukong disappeared for Monkie Kid timeline (JTTW is set in like the 600s or so if i remember correctly, might be wrong about the exacts tho) so lets assume those nine hundred years were uneventful.

So yeah, idk the hows, the hows don’t matter. What DOES matter is Wukong somehow loses contact with the others and is somehow convinced they were all killed, had his last stand against DBK and then went off travelling for a century to come to terms with his brothers and his precious, darling, beloved Master all perishing due to his inability to protect them.

and meanwhile for the others he was just... GONE. Like he’d vanished off the face of the earth, And the last the three of them ever saw of him was the staff rooted into the mountain that now kept the Bull King below. Just in case maybe the tree of them would periodically head off to Flower Fruit Mountain and check in with the monkeys that could still talk, but after about a century it was clear. If he WAS still alive, he wasn’t coming back. And the idea that he’d purposefully leave all of them behind just for the hope that he WAS still alive would do his memory a disservice. 

So when Wukong returns to FFM wouldn’t it be great if he like, JUST missed that last visit? Like DAYS after Sanzang, Baije and Wujing had been there for the final time to hold an impromptu funeral for their dead friend on his homeland and finally accept that he was gone, Wukong returns to the mountain and builds his little shrine for his dead friends... the Monkeys all look at eachother awkwardly and shrug, assuming this will be settled soon enough, surely it’ll be solved before too long.

And then another 400 years of kingly depression naps and the others falling in and out of contact with eachother as they adapt to the ever changing world around them later, Xiaotian snatches the staff from the bull family.

And... Look... It’s been a ROUGH 500 years on Sanzang now called simply Tang. He’d only recently tracked down Baije-now-called-Pigsy in the past... what Ten years? and was only tangentially aware of what Wujing-now-called-Sandy was up to. And... Look... LOOK. It’s ridiculous that he’s still hung up over losing Wukong as much as he is. He’s Well FUCKING aware it’s ridiculous. He should know better, he quite LITERALLY reached immortality through enlightenment. He KNOWS he should know better. 

So why-... Why can’t he say his real name without his gut still twisting into knots? He still tells the stories because telling them behind a wall of detachment, pretending he wasn’t there on the action for most of them helps in some small way, but why does he have to always call him ‘the Monkey King’? What a question, he knows why. He gave his heart away when he was still mortal, and so mortal his heart will forever stay. Dead and returned to the stone with the impulsive monkey he’d given it to.

And then It’s not dead. Because he’s not dead. and honestly at first it’s just shock, it’s just reeling with the sheer tidal wave of feelings he had to spend hours meditating just to sort through. The three of them meet up after Xiaotian and Xiaojiao have turned in for the night to discuss what the FUCK just happened, and all three of them come away with different conclusions. 

Baije is furious and will refuse to seek out Wukong unless its to tell him off for letting the three of them belive him dead, Wujing is sad and would like to see Wukong again to simply ask why he’d decided to cut the three of them out of his life like that, but doesn’t want to do it alone. And he’s...conflicted.

He wants this to be a joyous discovery. he wants to be so relieved and euphoric at his monkey still being there, having ALWAYS been there, that he wouldn’t be able to stop smiling for days on end. But he can’t. It’s all so... messy inside and he’s going to need to keep his distance if he wants to be able to approach Wukong with a level head. This was why attachments such as these were foolish he should have known better all those years ago but it was centuries too late now, and this confliction is what he has to suffer through as the result... wanting to laugh and cry and scream all at once because Wukong is ALIVE, he’d spent SO long in mourning for him, and HOW DARE HE ignore them all and let them assume the worst?!

So he hides behind that Scholar Tang persona while he sorts through his emotions. And it works for the most part. 

And then New Years happens.

And... Look, Wukong’s been THROUGH it in the last 500 years. He’s done everything he could to just... GET OVER the loss of his love His Master and His brothers. he went through all the damn stages of grief, 

Spent that first decade in denial poking around everywhere he could to see if any of them-ANY of them were in hiding somewhere, spent another three decades wandering the world and starting fights with other cultures divine warriors (and that Aphrodite chick was DEFINITELY hitting on him the entire time, extolling about how rarely she got to use her ‘Aria form’ whatever that meant) to work through his rage without actually getting himself in trouble with his own heavenly court. Spent another twenty years or so looking through as many underworlds as he could find, no matter how many of them really wanted to test just HOW immortal he was (Answer: Too Immortal for any of them) to see if ANYONE had anything he could work with, and always coming up empty. eventually crossed the ocean to the other landmass because he was tired of looking at all of these places and seeing either memories or wasted time looking for bargaining chips, and spent a decade or so deciding he hated Mexico and went back to China. and then spent another thirty years just procrastinating returning home to his mountain.

When he returns to flower fruit mountain its as though he’d never left. His monkeys greet him with excitement but he’s standing on the shores of his home he hasn’t seen in a century and... feels nothing. Like his ability to feel anything for anything beyond the people he’s lost is gone. He makes a little shrine that spends most of its time on a shelf that's difficult to be able to look at full on without craning your neck weirdly and if any of his subjects notice that he takes a bit too much care in folding the little paper figure of the monk as he sets the four figures up along the edge of the little thing none of them judge him over it. He’s rarely got the energy for tears anymore, but when he does it’s usually when that little figure catches his eye.

By the time Xiaotian crashes into his life he’s... getting better. At least he thinks he is. having the loud excitable boy in his life is helping chase the shadows away a little bit (though when they return oh how they scream) and he hears some stories of his friends on training days and... geez sometimes he’ll tell this or that story and Wukong will be so THOUROUGHLY reminded of someone that it just... hurts.

And then New Years happens.

And he finally sees him again -- And he finally meets Xiaotian’s friends

And he still doesn’t know how to feel it’s all SO MUCH -- And they feel familiar so he gives them all a quick glance with golden eyes

And he can only do the one thing that feels safe right now -- And oh... that makes sense. How lucky they all found eachother again after reincarnating.

Sanzang hides behind the Tang persona and lies with an energy that could only be harvested from the sheer maelstrom of emotions fighting for dominance -- and Wukong leaves before he says something incriminating because now he knows and he can’t Un-know.

He should have known better but its centuries too late. And it doesn’t even matter that he doesn’t know how to feel about this whole thing he HAS to keep seeing him, he can NOT let him vanish again -- This was a mistake, this was a mistake, he cannot face them all and see lack of recognition, he cannot have his brothers treating him only as Xiaotian’s mentor he can NOT handle looking at him and seeing a stranger.

He needs to at least TALK to him -- He can’t stay away

Wukong doesn’t start out hanging out at the Noodle Shop on down time, that’d be too much too quick, especially since Baije-.. Since Pigsy is clearly still pretty steamed for the whole ‘letting Xiaotian into the world of magic and monsters’ stuff. But he’ll often shapeshift and keep an eye on things like that... No he is NOT eavesdropping on the reincarnations of those three out of the ridiculous desperate desire to feel close to them again. Because he’d rather just love him miss them from afar than be treated as a stranger.

But of course Tang notices when he does. Every time. And every time he wants to say something but his throat feels too tight. That first day he’d fallen on the persona because it was all he felt he COULD do but now the very idea that he’d have to pretend to be someone else just to be able to speak to his monkey not his not anymore Him was completely out of the question. Tang’s actually surprised with himself the first time he finds his voice. 

The conversations come quickly, neither of them quite content to ignore the other now that its become obvious. The conversations are mostly stilted, awkward. Wukong seems both unable to help himself from talking to him, but unwilling to LOOK at him. Tang’s best guess is that he somehow doesn’t recognize him, Had he really changed that much in the time they’d been apart? Had he really lost so much affection for his old master that he could no longer recognize him beneath a slight change in appearance? That might be the reason the Hurt finally starts to win in the eternal standoff between Joy and Sorrow in how this whole thing makes him feel. 

And maybe it’s something simple, maybe Wukong is just barely starting to lower his guard a bit. Maybe just sharing a space with the man who once was the love of his life his master was finally starting to chalk over the rough edges his long since broken heart would constantly stab into him with. and he just SAYS something. Something probably innocuous, something he’d said a million times on the Journey alone. And to Tang it just... feels like he’s mocking him, like he’d known this whole time and had just been playing with his emotions in a way he wouldn’t have tolerated back then- so why should he tolerate it now?

 And the first words out of his own mouth are “Bad Monkey!” and Wukong freezes as Tang begins to lecture him

How he’d spent a solid third of his time immortal in mourning over him, how he’d been the one to tell Baije and Wujing that it would be a disgrace to his memory to believe him alive and instead that he’d chosen to cut the lot of them out of his life, despite how much HE’D wanted to believe it too. How hurt he was to find out that not only he HAD been ignoring them for so long but also that he’d apparently had apparently not even recognized any of them when they HAD all seen each other again! How much he’d missed him, how happy he’d still been to see him again. 

Yes, yes, pathetic, emotional baldy always bursting into tears at the simplest of things nothing’s changed etcetera etcetera- He hadn’t been lying on new years when he said he had a million questions, but all he really wanted to know was why? Why did he cut them out of his life, why did he shut HIM out? Why did you disappear for 500 years Wukong?

And Wukong reaches out, his hand is- shaking? and removes the glasses from right off his face--normal glass obviously, Baije had insisted they completed the scholarly look and annoyed him into compliance--

“You’re-” he hesitates, looks, almost afraid? “You’re not a reincarnation..?”

Oh... 

Well now they both looked the part of fools.

Two sobbing fools clutching to eachother in the alleyway behind Pigsy’s shop, and oh MAN did they have some things to talk about, because Wukong was DEFINITELY coming back with him to his apartment for the night and then first thing in the morning he was going to visit his brothers to internalize that THEY weren’t reincarnations either and then he was going to have to explain where he’d been for that first century while they were all still looking for him to THEM too. 

And yes he should have known better than to get attached to him in this way in the first place, it was disgraceful, the sheer misery it had brought alone was proof enough of that. But Wukong was nuzzling into his shoulder, and pressing those strange feeling monkey kisses across his cheeks and jaw,  and his breath was hitching with pure relief and joy and it was for him-

And fuck it, he just didn’t care. 

[beca-mitchell]

there's no control (you calm my soul) (1/1)

Summary: Dani just wants to feel warmth again. She finds it in a motel room in Vermont, Jamie by her side. 

or,

the second first time fic nobody asked for. Rated M/E.

Word count: 3,190

A/N: Fic title from "Spiritual" by Super Duper, ft. Mr Gabriel. This idea would not leave me alone and demanded to be written no matter how horrible the outcome, so my apologies in advance. I wanted to explore how thirsty Dani would be after sleeping with Jamie for the first time so this is kind of a second first time fic.

Read below or on AO3.

“Yeah?” Jamie asks, finger curling around the strap of Dani’s bra.

Dani, who is already hovering above Jamie, basks in how natural it all feels. How natural it feels to hovering over this woman; this woman to whom she is so incredibly attracted.

“Yeah,” Dani agrees. “Please.”

And warmth—warmth spreads everywhere.

There is so much she wants to do.

 * * * * *

 America is cold.

Colder, perhaps, than how she left it just under a year ago (had it already been close to a year?). England had been cold at the beginning as well, then it had warmed, but nothing quite like a hot summer in the South. Nothing quite like sweet tea and ice cubes and endless sun. But it had been warm—warm enough until the unbearable cold.

And now she’s back in the U.S., less than a year after leaving everything behind. Fall in the Northeast. Close to winter now.

Dani is cold. She shivers, slumping a little in her seat as she takes in the snow-lined trees and the gloomy skies.

Of course, she’s cold, she tells herself. She’s cold because it’s winter. Almost, anyway. It’s fall, it’s winter, and she’s cold because she’s too tired to even reach out and crank the heat in the car.

But Jamie—Jamie is warm.

Dani takes a moment to glance over at Jamie who is seated in the driver’s seat, expertly navigating the unfamiliar roads as they make their way further north.

Vermont, Jamie had suggested. To see the snow. And Dani had agreed because it was better than feeling the ache that continued to permeate her heart—the same ache that had never quite gone away since leaving England for America.

(Perhaps, even, the same ache that never quite went away since leaving America for England—but that alone feels a lifetime away, even if it nips at the back of Dani’s mind from time to time.)

Instinctively, Dani reaches her hand out to her left, longing to touch Jamie again. To feel comfort. To feel safe. To feel grounded. She pauses halfway, hovering awkwardly over the middle console. Dani flushes, quickly turning her head to the side so she can gaze out the window instead. Her hand falls lamely just beside her thigh and she moves to pick at a loose thread in her pants just to have something to do.

As she follows a random, slow trickle of water sliding down the window, her eyes wander to her own reflection, slightly distorted in the rain-speckled side-view mirror. Without fail, she catches the disparity in her own eye color, still as jarring as it was the first time she had caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

But—ultimately, that was the important takeaway: she had caught a glimpse of herself and that alone. Herself. Alone.

A soft, gentle touch startles her out of her gazing. Dani turns quickly, eyes dropping to where Jamie has hooked her pinky just around the tip of her finger. Her gaze flicks up, a sheepish smile spreading across her lips involuntarily when she catches the barest hint of a smile—a smirk—on Jamie’s lips, though her gaze is fixated ahead, carefully driving all the while. Dani’s eyes track up and around Jamie’s profile with the kind of laziness she has only recently allowed herself to indulge in: she takes in the curve of her chin, the tip of her nose, the gentle natural red in her cheeks, and finally the unruly curls peeking out from under the soft hat jammed atop her head.

No, not alone, Dani thinks. She will not have to be alone for whatever stretch of life she has left before her.

With a smile and her lip tucked between her teeth for the briefest of moments, Dani relaxes in her seat, curling her hand around Jamie’s and letting herself drift off.

 * * * * *

  Jamie’s hands on her body are neither heavy or light. Quite simply, her hands feel like they are a part of Dani’s body. Not quite extensions of herself, but gentle like the lap of waves against the shore. Over and over. All over. Everywhere.

Everywhere, her hands roam—but the most striking intimacy happens when her hands grab Dani’s, both of them expelling a trembling breath.

“Touch me,” Jamie whispers. No—begs. She begs, eyes dark and alight with something wonderfully new and exciting.

And Dani does.

Dani won’t stop—she couldn’t if she tried. Not now, knowing what she does. Wanting what she wants. Being who she is.

Jamie has unlocked everything.

 * * * * *

 They end up in a cozy motel (two words that are not necessarily meant to go together, but Dani has experience with the unexpected at this point) by the time they reach the Vermont state line. It is dark and chilly and Jamie all but drags Dani from the car over the sound of Dani’s half-hearted protests that they just sleep in the back of their car all night. Keep each other warm. Cuddling. She’s sure one of those suggestions will land, but Jamie ignores her and they end up securing a room for the night.

“Motels freak me out,” Dani admits, finally, as Jamie nudges her fully into the room. “Always have.” Her eyes, however, land longingly on the comfortable-looking beds. The two notably separate beds. Dani chances a glance at Jamie to see whether Jamie has a comment or remark about their sleeping arrangement, but Jamie is already grumbling to herself and rifling through one of their oversized duffles.

It takes a moment for Dani to process—like, really truly process—but they’re here. They’ve left that part of their life behind. The very brief spell at Bly, pleasant and horrible memories alike.

A new adventure.

A new adventure, starting with the hunch in Jamie’s shoulders and the determination that seems to reverberate from her with every breath. Dani wonders which demons Jamie herself is running from (she has some idea); Dani wonders if Jamie knows that Dani isn’t necessarily something to run towards either (Jamie knows; she must).

But—

One day at a time.

Dani can try. For Jamie, at least. “Hey,” she calls, taking the chance to step into Jamie’s orbit again, leaning up to rest her chin just over Jamie’s shoulder to peer at the mess she’s making inside the bag. “Let’s just get some rest.”

“Impatient,” Jamie replies, offering a smile over her shoulder. Dani catches the smile with her lips, leaning in as best as she can to press a messy kiss to Dani’s mouth, only managing to get somewhat of an off-center kiss and the corner of her mouth.

Dani stifles a smile at Jamie’s surprised expression, happy to know that her kiss evokes as much a reaction as Jamie’s kisses do in her. She catches the way Jamie’s eyes flick down to her lips as she twists slowly in Dani’s hold, from where she is backed up against the little table in the corner. “We should probably shower though,” Dani suggests lightly, this time unable to keep the laugh from escaping when Jamie’s entire posture deflates and she ends up pouting right at Dani’s face.

Still. This is so new. And Dani still doesn’t quite know what to do with all the warmth that spills through her—spills out of her. A strangeness, almost, this sense of wanting and needing like she has never wanted and needed before. She gapes for a moment too long, something that she hopes looks like desire across her face as clear as day, because Jamie smiles again at her. Jamie smiles, playful and understanding all at once.

“For that, we’re doing this separately.”

Dani protests weakly, still not quite catching up to her own emotions, loosely letting Jamie’s shirt slip past her fingers. “I didn’t—”

“Sure,” Jamie drawls, flashing one last smile over her shoulder. “It’s okay, you’re valid, Poppins.”

Dani’s blush reaches all the way down to her wooly socks.

 * * * * *

 Dani is brushing out her hair, warm and fluffy from the cheap blow dryer in their bathroom, when she walks out, eyes landing on Jamie already tucked under the covers on one of the beds, nose buried in a book. A swell of affection rushes through her at the sight of her—her girlfriend, as foreign as the thought sounds. Companion. Company. Girlfriend.

She longs to test the word out on her tongue, but her own fears haven’t quite ebbed yet. The move back to the U.S. has barely settled in her chest, let alone the thought of a life past Christmas. And yet, here, in this nondescript motel room, Jamie is setting her book aside and gazing at Dani as if she hung the stars themselves.

One day at a time.

Dani flicks the light off, walking slowly over to the other empty (cold, desolate, lonely), unoccupied bed. She pauses midway and she peeks over her shoulder hesitantly, the question dying on her lips when Jamie is already lifting the edge of the comforter on the too-small bed.

“C’mere.”

Dani bites her lip, sliding beneath the comforter. She shivers as her leg brushes against Jamie’s. “S’cold,” she mumbles, tucking her head under Jamie’s chin.

“You’re always cold,” Jamie teases, though there is a hint of tiredness in her voice.

Dani doesn’t respond for a long moment, wondering if Jamie knows how close to the truth she is—the lingering thoughts and worries always nagging at the back of Dani’s mind. Maybe it’s all just banter to Jamie. Maybe it’s somewhere in between, in that gray area they haven’t really touched yet—but Jamie never pushes. Never forces Dani to talk.

Only when Dani’s ready.

“Not so much when I’m with you,” Dani finally whispers, letting her breath wash over the bumps of Jamie’s collarbones. She lifts a hand slowly, tracing the delicate bone, marvelling in the warmth that crashes through her when Jamie shivers as if she is drawing some of the cold from her lover. Entranced, Dani traces her finger up the delicate column of Jamie’s neck, then to her jaw, and finally to her lips, lingering. Jamie’s lips press forward, kissing her fingertip ever so gently that it makes Dani want to cry.

She doesn’t cry.

She surges up, kissing Jamie with as much gusto as she can, rocking the bed ever so slightly as she does so. Jamie’s tiny noise of surprise quickly morphs into one of distinct pleasure as she responds to the kiss easily and naturally, like they’ve been doing this for years. Like their lips have only longed to meet again and again with the experience of lovers who have had thousands of kisses before.

Jamie’s hand is sure and steady as it slips up the back of Dani’s shirt, fingers mapping new but familiar paths. The faintest memory of their first night together comes rushing back, but the new sensations scramble to overwrite the wiring in Dani’s brain as she arches into Jamie’s warmth. Each sensation feels like a jolt to her own senses—each fractured breath between them as they kiss, messy and desperate, like each kiss is their first kiss anew.

A new first kiss: there is no greenery; there is no lake; there is no haunted spectre. Just them, together in this bed (it’s a bed, even if it isn’t the best), finally.

(But not a first kiss that replaces their first kiss, to be sure. Dani would never.)

“You sure?” Jamie murmurs quietly, the words barely slipping past swollen lips. Dani pauses, taking in Jamie’s murmured inquiry. Jamie is unable to hide the faintest hint of self-doubt in her voice. It makes the last wall crumble; it makes Dani want to cry again, damnit.

Dani nods, swallowing. She leans in again to nip at Jamie’s lips once more. “Yeah,” she breathes. “Yes. Please.”

I need you.

I want you.

I missed you.

Her unspoken words fall away into the nothingness—and for once, it is a nothingness that she is comfortable with because the nothingness only highlights that she is with Jamie and Jamie is with her and nothing else matters.

Jamie gently cups the back of Dani’s head, tongue slipping into Dani’s mouth as she goes. With further tenderness, Jamie rolls Dani to her back, keeping a sure hold on her as she goes. Breathless, Dani longs to pull Jamie further into her, but there is no more space between them, not even air and yet—

(damn clothes)

“—Off,” Dani mumbles as best as she can between heated kisses. “Take it off.”

Jamie huffs, something akin to a laugh, and begins kissing at Dani’s neck, nipping and sucking with gradual intensity. She pushes at the bottom of Dani’s shirt, lifting it so painstakingly slow. Her hands follow the path of the shirt even as she stops pushing the shirt up. Slowly, oh so slowly, Jamie’s hand finally reaches the curve of Dani’s breast, hesitating for the briefest of moments before Jamie’s palm rests atop a straining nipple.

Dani exhales loudly, her head tipping back. Jamie does nothing for a long moment. Cherishing. Lingering. Remembering. Her lips move languidly across Dani’s skin, but she does not move her hand as Dani begins to shift restlessly beneath her. Her hands weave through soft damp curls at the back of Jamie’s head, somehow more unruly than before, and she is immediately, once again mesmerized by the texture and the ease with which she can touch her lover.

It is easy, like breathing—something that Dani remembers how to do, but for the first time in a while, it feels like she can do so freely. Breathe easy. Breathe freely.

In and out.

As easy as breathing.

Being with Jamie is as easy as breathing; as easy as existing; as easy as both breathing and existing when both those things were so hard not too long ago.

When Dani opens her eyes again, she is so present and so grounded that she startles at the clarity with which she is perceiving the moment. A soft, wanting gasp leaves her lips as she pulls Jamie in for another searing kiss, this time taking measures to roll Jamie onto her back, tucking their bodies as close to the center of the bed as she can.

Jamie makes a noise of surprise, head falling back against the pillow before Dani is kissing her eagerly once more. Freely. Messily. The rest comes easily, as natural as it was the first time. Something visceral claws within Dani’s chest, entirely needy and wanton as her skin brushes against Jamie’s fully. She gasps, hot and desperate against Jamie’s neck as she rocks experimentally down against Jamie’s thigh. Dani grabs at the sheets, the pillows, Jamie’s hair—anything to ground herself in the moment.

But that moment quickly bleeds into the next and she lets her hand wander as it pleases, delighting in Jamie’s pleased sounds and broken gasps. It is a reaction that Dani wants to elicit again and again until they’ve both exhausted themselves. Like the first night. And more nights to come.

Dani stifles a quiet moan of her own, slipping her fingers down past the plane of Jamie’s stomach—further, further—

“Yes,” Jamie murmurs softly, then louder, “Dani, please—”

It is the choked-off moan that does it for Dani, really. Her cheeks flood with heat and warmth and she clenches—hot and wet around nothing—at the wanton display of need.

She could spend the rest of her life doing this. How had she wasted time doing anything else? How had she bothered to live her life not knowing what Jamie looked like or sounded like with Dani’s fingers teasing at her clit, regardless of how clumsy or awkward Dani feels about it?

Slowly, she slips her fingers through hot, wet folds, careful in her ministrations. Dani tries to recall every single thing they did together that first night, but the memory feels more like an echo or an impression of a memory rather than a clear image. She does not despair. The thought of making new memories excites Dani—feels her chest with something infinitely more than dread.

It is hope.

Her fingers move.

Love.

Jamie whimpers.

Joy.

“Fuck,” Dani whispers, nearly silent. She tries again, louder, punctuating the word with a steady thrust of her fingers. The movement feels natural and when Jamie tenses around her so wantonly—

“Don’t stop,” Jamie mumbles. “I need you to—“ she cuts herself off with a gasp, a knee bending, her back arching—all to take Dani’s fingers in deeper as she curls her fingers experimentally.

It’s then that Dani feels another shift in her mind. She stares with open desire and wonder, looking down at Jamie’s flushed face. Unbidden, a memory of Jamie guiding her hand up her back. Jamie encouraging her always. Jamie wanting her and wanting Dani to want her back no matter what.

God, Dani wants her.

She wants her girlfriend and there isn’t a thing stopping her. Not either of their demons. Not what Dani fears lives inside her.

So she wants, and wants, and wants. The wanting—the sheer act of primal desire—warms Dani like a flame the begins somewhere in her belly and rises up to her forehead. Down to her toes. And oh—how it threatens to spill out of her.

She cracks herself open then and lets her desire run over.

Dani grabs Jamie’s hand, guiding it between her own legs. She lips her tongue into Jamie’s mouth to stifle the knowing chuckle that’s bound to slip past Jamie’s lips.

All that can come later. For now, she wants nothing more than to feel the gentle dampness on their skin, slow build of sweat along their foreheads; she wants nothing more than the rhythmic sound of the bed; she wants nothing more than to want and be wanted because it is better than being lost to the recesses of her own mind.

If Dani could say all this aloud in some way, she would. She could. But as Jamie's breath ghosts down her collarbone, hand curling around her hip, Dani finds that she does not need to say anything at all because she has everything she might ever need within her grasp.

Like benediction—a reprieve from all that has transpired—Jamie's name falls from her lips like a mantra; Jamie's name falls from her lips like she's forgotten her own name and quite honestly, she isn't sure that she would want it any other way. 

 * * * * *

 Dani wakes to the sight of Jamie’s face. Her eyes track slowly across every last inch of skin available to her. Jamie’s nose. Her lips. The golden hues of sunlight glancing off errant curls.

Inside Dani, she is warm. All is quiet and still as the morning air around them. She is sure the silence won’t last - it never does - but for once she does not feel dread or the urge to shiver.

She longs to wake Jamie, if only to see her eyes again, but she settles

One day at a time, as long as she gets this for the rest of her days.

fin.