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serenescribbles · 3 years

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lost without you (but not for long)

For Jasonette July Prompt: Grave

Tom and Sabine are displayed as bad parents in this but I do not think this way about them in real life.

Also, this is not Season 4 compliant. I just included Su-Han because I needed someone.

* * * : This signals a POV change

This was originally going to be part of a series and was going to be the third installment. However, I ended up scrapping that idea and wasn't planning on writing something for today. But, I liked the idea I had for this prompt even though I didn't like the series it was supposed to be apart of. So, after a bit of tweaking and polishing, I present to you... this!

CW: Swearing

AO3 | Masterlist

一

April 27, 20XX, Gotham Cemetery, Gotham, New Jersey

A young woman stood alone in the pouring rain in front of a single grave. Engraved on the tombstone was the name: JASON PETER TODD-WAYNE

This grave looked neglected, compared to the others next to it. The tombstone was worn down, with cracks and pieces chipped off the edges due to the wind. Unlike other graves, it just said, “A good son.”

The girl’s body trembled and she loosened the grip on the bouquet of purple hyacinths she had brought. They fell onto the patchy, yellow grass that was unkept and scattered everywhere. But the young woman didn’t care as she collapsed onto her knees, skin scraping against the rock of the grave. Never mind that the mud was ruining her black dress.

‘Why?’ The young woman asked herself bitterly. ‘Why did he have to die? And doesn’t anybody care about him?’

She sobbed and pounded her fists repeatedly against the tombstone and they were turning red. Having lost all her energy, the girl stopped pounding and instead let her hands lay limply by her side. The young woman must have looked a sight, but there was no one around to see it.

The rain continued to pour, and a loud pitter-patter could be heard as it splattered against the ground. The relentless torrent of rain helped disguise her tears but you could still hear the girl’s wails. Her blue hair was all mussed up and drenched and her clothes were soaked. The young woman’s shoes were starting to get uncomfortable with her wet socks on. But despite everything, she didn’t care.

Why should she give a damn about anything when her brother was dead?

You see, what the public and Jason Todd-Wayne’s adopted family knew about his family tree was very limited. Everyone knew he grew up on the streets as the only son of Willis and Catherine Todd. Although it was later revealed that his biological mother was actually Sheila Haywood, when they both died alongside each other in Ethiopia when Jason was just 15.

But what no one knew was that Jason had a little sister, too. That sister was her, Marinette Todd. She never had a proper birth certificate so it was impossible to link her with Jason, especially since her last name was changed to Dupain-Cheng after her adoption. Before Tom and Sabine had adopted her, she essentially didn’t exist in the world.

Sometimes, Marinette resented Tom and Sabine for adopting her. Why wouldn’t she? They had ripped her away from everything she ever held dear and forced her to separate with Jason. But if she ever voiced her true thoughts, Marinette knew she would immediately get scolded.

How could she even think that about them? Tom and Sabine had given her a home, clean clothes, food on the table, a good education, and everything she could ever want! Which was true, but they’d also neglected her, forced her to work shifts at the bakery, doubted her, and eventually kicked her out because of a liar’s words.

Marinette’s memory of the night they forced her to leave is still fresh in her mind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette hummed as she strolled in through the door to her home.

Today, she had finally done it! Hawkmoth was defeated for good! After everything she’d been forced to go through while under his reign, Marinette was finally free!

Expecting that Tom and Sabine were still out on their date, she was surprised when they were sitting on the living room couch comforting an injured Lila.

Marinette’s eyes immediately narrowed on Lila’s “injuries”. She could tell that Lila just had make-up on and wasn’t actually hurt. But why had Lila come to her home?

Ever since Lila had lied about knowing her brother, Marinette made sure to stay the hell away from her. Whenever she heard someone talking about Jason Todd, the Gothamite in her had to resist punching them in the face. But Marinette knew that if she did, she would get severely punished by Tom and Sabine. So the best way to avoid that was to avoid Lila.

With that in mind, Marinette continued sitting in her seat at the back of the class and avoiding her overly friendly classmates, except Lila kept trying to bother her. Every time Lila tried to lie or get close to her, Marinette made sure to shut her down immediately, but politely, and turn away. Marinette just didn’t get why Lila kept trying to cozy up to her! Couldn’t she take a hint?

And oh, Lila’s little stunt in the bathroom was not amusing in the slightest. Like, bitch, who was she trying to scare? Marinette’s seen kids scarier than her!

But what made Marinette even more frustrated was that somehow, her brushing Lila off, you know, like, what she does to everybody in the class, somehow translates into bullying her!

How can anyone make that connection? If they say that’s bullying, then what Chloe does is full on assault! But the thing is, this is the most the Akuma Class has ever paid her attention!

Well yeah, there was that Ladyblogger who kept insisting they were friends and that annoying model kid who was so naïve, but they eventually stopped and forgot about her. What about Lie-la made them feel the need to confront Marinette?

She was pretty convinced that Lila must be some sort of meta, how else would anyone believe lies that stupid? Napkins gouging someone’s eyes out, honestly!

W A I T.

It took all of two seconds for Marinette to realize what scheme Miss Sausage Hair had cooked up this time. At first, Lila had tried to spread false rumors about her and get her expelled, but Marinette didn’t really care what others thought of her and she very easily proved her innocence.

But oh god, coming to her home in that get-up, purposely seeking out Tom and Sabine, Marinette clenched her fists, her mood souring. That lying fox had probably come to convince them that she'd given her those injuries! Although she wasn’t that close with Tom and Sabine, surely they wouldn’t believe something so easily disproven, right?

Marinette’s heart sank as Tom and Sabine looked up from where they were sitting with Lila on the couch to glare up at her. Ha, they actually believed Lie-la!

Before Marinette could say anything, Sabine exploded, “Marinette Dupain-Cheng! How dare you bully such a poor, sweet, and innocent girl like Lila! And injuring her like this? You’ve gone too far! Why did we ever adopt someone like you in the first place?”

Lila’s eyes gleamed from where she was, burrowed into Tom’s arms. She’d learned a new piece of information.

Marinette grit her teeth, she knew that by tomorrow, the whole school would know that she wasn’t Tom and Sabine’s biological child. Shooting a glare at Lila, she whimpered, which only made Tom and Sabine’s glare intensify.

“We should’ve just left you sick and dying in that abandoned alleyway in Gotham where we found you!” shouted Tom, red faced.

“But,” Marinette stuttered. “Just let me explain!”

“Oh, it’s too late for that, young lady! How many times have you disobeyed us and never given us a reason why?” Sabine barked.

Marinette was left floundering, internally, she was hurt. They say what a person really thinks about you comes out when they’re angry. So, did that mean that Tom and Sabine secretly harbored these thoughts about her for all the years they raised her?

Seeing Lila’s secretly smirking face, Marinette willed her tears back and resisted the urge to smack Lila in the face.

Sabine and Tom exchanged a look before Sabine spoke up in a cool, detached tone. “Get. Out. You are not the little girl that we adopted all those years ago. You have one hour to pack everything and leave until we call the cops about an intruder in our home.”

Marinette started getting angry. Why was this happening to her? What was wrong with Lila that she hated her so much that she went to such lengths to ruin her life? Sure, Marinette wouldn’t exactly consider them good parents, but they were still her adoptive parents, just like Willis and Catherine were her real ones.

When Marinette got angry, her inner Gothamite came out. Gone was the introverted girl that disliked everything, here was a girl that hid her true self all her life and had years of pent up rage to let out.

“Fine,” Marinette snarled. “If you want me to leave so badly, I will. I know where I’m not wanted.”

With that, Marinette stormed up the stairs to her attic bedroom and gathered her belongings. It took her a lot less than an hour to get everything she needed. In fact, it only took a few minutes.

You see, ever since Tom and Sabine had adopted Marinette and taken her to Paris, the street kid in her was always worried that one day, they would change their minds, that they didn’t want her after all.

So, Marinette began preparing little bags of stuff she would bring in the event that she would be forced to leave. As Marinette grew older, logically, she knew the chance of them changing their minds was extremely slim, but you could never be too prepared.

Over the years, her packing had evolved from some spare change and clothes in a plastic bag to a backpack full of toiletries, a phone different from the one Tom and Sabine had gotten her, lots of clothes easy to run and hide in, her sketchbook, both American and French money, light snacks, and, of course, the Miracle Box.

Putting on a black hoodie, Marinette pulled the hood over her head and swung one of the backpack straps across her back. Heading out to her balcony, Marinette looked at her room for one last time, before getting ready to jump off.

Bending her knees, Marinette was just about to make the leap before a sickly sweet plastic voice distracted her. “Wow, are you really going to jump? Please Marinette, don’t do it! I only told your parents, well I guess I should say adopted parents about you hurting me because I thought you’d gone too far. I never wanted you to go so far as to kill yourself!”

Lila started bawling, going on and on about how “Marinette shouldn’t jump” and that “she doesn’t need to do this, there are people that can help”.

Marinette grinded her teeth. Lila really didn’t know when to stop, did she?

“You can cut the crap, Lie-la,” Marinette growled mockingly. “You and I both know that you’re lying. So I don’t need your fake pity or rather anything from you.”

Lila stopped. “You know, I really hate people like you. You’re always so arrogant and full of yourself. But really, you’re just a litt一”

Before Lila could continue to insult her, Marinette jumped. Landing lightly on her feet, Marinette could hear Lila let out a high pitched shriek.

‘Good,’ Marinette thought savagely. ‘That was the reaction she was going for.’

Walking off into the night, Marinette faded into the shadows, leaving her old life behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that, Marinette stayed in the Paris slums for a while. But then it became too unbearable to stay in a city that had nothing left for her. So, Marinette decided to use Kalki to teleport to the old Guardians’ Temple in Tibet.

While there, Marinette endured many hardships under the apprenticeship of the Celestial Guardian Su-Han. He, along with many of the other Guardians in the temple, held disdain for her because she was a female. Because of that, Marinette had to go through intense training and was often punished for no reason.

After numerous attempts of trying to forcibly take the Miracle Box away from her, the older Guardians finally relented and begrudgingly started training her.

Because of that, she was able to meet the other inhabitants of the temple. As Marinette discovered, many of them were awed by the stunt she pulled during Kwamibuster as Multimouse.

They all declared there was no way she could’ve done such a thing but she did. Some of the younger apprentices held her in reverence while the Guardians simply pursed their lips whenever it was brought up.

Marinette stayed and learned for over a year under Su-Han’s mentorship. Once a certain time came to pass, Su-Han released her from her apprenticeship and declared her as a Guardian in her own right. After that, Marinette bid everyone at the temple goodbye, and set off for Gotham.

Although Marinette wasn’t ready to deal with Jason’s death, she knew that she would have to come to terms with it eventually. So, with a heavy heart, Marinette returned to her hometown, knowing her brother wouldn’t be there to welcome her back.

Which brought Marinette back to this moment right now. After living in Gotham for a while, and visiting people and places she used to know, Marinette couldn’t help but feel the gaping hole in her heart. And when Jason’s death day rolled around, the grief was unbearable.

Making up her mind, Marinette decided she had to visit her brother’s final resting place, to let herself accept that she would never hear Jason’s laugh again, or that no one would ever ruffle her hair and call her “Pixie” again.

But arriving at the cemetery, in full mourning clothes, the rain relentlessly coming down on her, Marinette was angry. Oh, she was beyond angry, more than that, she was furious. Jason had died on this day yet there was no one here in front of this grave except her! His adopted family should be here too, all mourning her brother’s death! But not only was no one at Jason’s grave, it seemed like his supposed “family” didn’t even take care to maintain it!

Before coming to the cemetery, Marinette had read all about the Wayne family. They were the richest family in Gotham, owning Wayne Enterprises. And it seemed like Bruce Wayne was famously known for his penchant for adopting children.

While kneeling on her knees before Jason’s grave, Marinette bitterly thought, ‘I guess that’s why he doesn’t have the time to visit his dead son. Because he’s already got enough living kids to care about.’

Although in the past few minutes, Marinette had calmed down a little, she started tearing up again.

“Why? You didn’t deserve to die! You should have gotten the chance to grow up, go to college, and get a job, but you didn’t! Now I get to do all the things you should’ve been able to do! It’s unfair, everything’s unfair!” Marinette shouted at the sky, not caring that no one could hear her.

“And no one even cares enough about you to visit you on the day you died. God damnit, Jay-Jay! Letting Tom and Sabine adopt me was a mistake, I should’ve never trusted them, especially since they kicked me out! If I hadn’t moved to Paris, then maybe you would’ve never died! It’s all my fault!”

Marinette leaned towards Jason’s tombstone, and, pulling herself closer, she let her forehead rest against the cool, wet rock. Marinette stayed silent, becoming one with nature.

She could feel the mud on her legs start to dry, and the rain beating down her back, making her already soaked clothes even more wet. Marinette could hear the whoosh of the wind, blowing so harshly it caused the trees to sway. She shivered as a breeze brushed past her.

Marinette was cold, and the wind plus the rain were only making it worse. She knew she shouldn’t have chosen to wear such clothing while visiting Jason’s grave. But these were the only clothes she could find that were suitable to wear on an occasion such as this.

At that moment, cold and overcome with sorrow, Marinette had never felt more alone. Oh, how she missed the way Jason used to hug her tightly in tiny cabinets whenever Willis came home drunk. Or how they would huddle together in abandoned alleyways for warmth while gazing at the stars.

Closing her eyes, Marinette could almost feel Jason’s aura wrapping around her own, its warm and protective air playfully poking at hers. It was like Jason’s ghost was hugging her, communicating what he couldn’t tell her in real life. Marinette let herself get lost in the feeling, allowing herself to believe someone actually was there comforting her.

Opening her eyes with a start, Marinette realized she could no longer feel the rain on her skin. But how? She could still hear the pitter-patter all around her. Looking up, Marinette was surprised to see something black obstructing her view. It was an umbrella! But, Marinette thought she was the only one here!

Before Marinette could do anything else, a voice thick with emotion solemnly spoke, “It wasn’t your fault, it was mine.”

* * *

Jason didn’t know what he was expecting when the monitors he’d put in place signalled him that someone had visited his grave.

When he was first resurrected, the first thing he did when he returned to Gotham was to set up those systems. Except, after all these years, not once had they been tripped. At first, that made Jason disappointed, because none of his family had bothered to visit his grave.

But as he got reintegrated with the Bats, he realized that it wasn’t that they didn’t want to, they just physically and emotionally couldn’t. It was just too much for them to visit his final resting place with the fact that he was dead in mind.

So Jason never minded that no one ever went to see his tombstone. He just didn’t know what to think when he’d gotten the notification on his phone while sitting alone at a bar drinking his sorrows away.

Jason did this every year, much to Bruce’s displeasure. And every year, a different Bat would try to convince him to discontinue the tradition and instead do something with the rest of the family. But each time, he shook them off.

Remotely accessing the cameras he’d set up, all he could see was a young-ish woman with blue hair in a black dress crying in front of his grave. For a second, Jason drunkenly thought that the young woman was his little sister, Marinette. But that was impossible! He was sure she was off living in Paris, happy and better off than she ever was here and with him.

‘But,’ Jason thought to himself. ‘Why not go check who it is? He’d needed a distraction after all.’

Sliding a twenty to the bartender, Jason gave the guy a little nod before walking out of the bar. Fishing around in his pocket, he pulled out a hangover pill and swallowed. Going to his motorcycle, Jason shrugged on his leather jacket and hopped on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arriving a few feet away from the entrance of the Gotham Cemetery, Jason took great care to tuck his motorcycle away from plain sight. It had started raining while he’d been driving so Jason took out a black umbrella.

Quietly walking up to the gates of the cemetery, Jason pushed them open with a little squeak but luckily, the girl didn’t seem to hear or pay attention to the noise.

As he walked along the rows upon rows of graves, Jason silently observed the young woman. She was definitely younger than him, and she looked a mess. Her hair was all tangled and she was kneeling before his grave, no doubt her dress was getting muddy. Apparently, the girl hadn’t thought to bring an umbrella and was completely soaked.

Jason felt very awkward and uncomfortable as she broke down and cried in front of his grave.

‘Poor girl,’ Jason thought to himself, feeling slightly guilty. ‘She probably wasn’t expecting anyone to be listening in on her while she cried.’

But then again, she was the one who was crying in front of his grave and Jason wasn’t sure why. He was sure he’d remember meeting someone like her in his life.

As he walked closer to the young woman, he was able to catch the tail end of whatever she was saying.

“... no one even cares enough about you to visit you on the day you died. God damnit, Jay-Jay! Letting Tom and Sabine adopt me was a mistake, I should’ve never trusted them, especially since they kicked me out! If I hadn’t moved to Paris, then maybe you would’ve never died! It’s all my fault!”

Jason’s heart stopped.

Jay-Jay.

He could only think of one person that had ever had the privilege of calling him by that name.

“Pixie?” Jason whispered hoarsely. But she didn’t hear him.

Getting over the shock of finding his little sister again after all these years crying in front of his grave, Jason processed the rest of her words. Oh Nettie, she blamed herself for him dying when it wasn’t even her fault! But then he realized that the reason his little sister was back in Gotham was because she was forced out of Paris. That made Jason extremely angry.

How could anyone do that to a girl like Nettie?

Jason could feel his pit rage flare up as his hands itched for a gun, to shoot Marinette’s “parents” for what they did. But he suppressed his urges as he reminded himself that he hadn’t had an accident in over a year. What would the Bats say once they found out?

‘Fuck the Bats! Since when did you care about what they think?’ His mind argued.

But then a second voice in his head contributed to the conversation. ‘Although you may not care what the Bats think, what would Marinette say if you killed her parents? Even if they are trash?’

That, was a good point. Ever since they were young, Nettie always had a strong sense of justice and morals that Jason didn’t have.

Although Willis was a useless drunk that always hurt the two of them, Marinette still believed he could be redeemed. Or at least that he had some good parts inside of him. Whenever Jason started ranting about how he wished Willis wasn’t their father, Marinette was always quick to defend him. She always said something about how he may not have done any good for them, but he might’ve for someone else and getting rid of Willis meant ruining that innocent person’s life.

Also, there was this one time when Jason found out some kid was bullying her at school and he immediately wanted to throw hands with them. He was only stopped when Nettie told him that retaliating against them would make the two of them just as bad.

So, plotting murder would be put on standby for now. At this moment, Jason was solely focused on getting to his baby sister and wrapping her in hugs that lord knows she needs.

Tightening his grip on his umbrella, Jason took a deep breath and stepped towards Marinette’s direction.

* * *

Marinette was puzzled for a moment.

What did this stranger’s words mean?

But Marinette soon got her answer as he tilted the umbrella up so she could see his face but was still covered from the rain.

Slowly getting up from her position on the ground, Marinette dusted herself off as best as she could and strained to get a better look at the stranger’s face.

Surely she had seen wrong, for that man couldn’t possibly be一

“Ja一son?” Marinette asked brokenly.

The man in front of her looked like an exact replica of what Jason would have looked like had he continued to live. He was wearing a black leather jacket, a white shirt with a red bat underneath, gray jeans, and black boots.

Looking more closely at his face, Marinette realized with great sadness that he had more scars on his face then he ever did back then. She was able to recognize the tiny little blemish underneath his left eye that was near unrecognizable to the untrained eye. Marinette also took note of all of the tiny freckles dotting his skin. While Jason did have freckles in his youth, they definitely weren’t as pronounced as they were now.

The man, no, Jason gave her a tentative smile and said, “Yeah, that’s me.”

Marinette couldn’t help herself as she launched herself at Jason. Hugging him tightly, Marinette whispered over and over, “You’re alive. You’re alive. You’re alive.”

But no matter how solid Jason seemed to be, Marinette just couldn’t help but think he wasn’t real. So she kept on holding him, not wanting to lose him by letting go if this really was just her imagination.

Marinette started crying. Jason was alive, not dead! She’d been so distraught all these years due to losing him but it turns out it was all in vain!

Marinette could faintly register Jason lifting her head up and wiping her tears away with his thumb. “Hey一 shh, don’t cry, I’m here, and I’ve got you.”

Those words only served to make Marinette cry even more. It had been so long since Marinette had experienced warmth from another person other than the kwamis. And sometimes, they didn’t quite understand how to comfort her.

Tom and Sabine had always been too busy for her and assumed that after living so long on the streets, she was capable of taking care of anything by herself. And at the Guardians’ Temple, the Guardians never really liked her anyway while the apprentices may have respected her, they idolized her to the point that they never really saw her as an actual living person and more like some sort of god.

As Marinette burrowed into Jason’s arms, her stomach dropped once she got a whiff of his aura.

When Marinette was younger, she discovered she could see some sort of color or a mixture of colors that followed somebody around. As she grew older, Marinette called them a person’s aura. Using her ability, Marinette was able to stay away from bad people from the way their aura looked. That was also how she could tell Lila was bad news from day one.

All her life, she had never told anybody about her powers, including Jason. Why would she? Telling someone about her ability would just get her written down as a meta and put on a watch-list.

Marinette discovered auras could change and the reason she found out was because she literally saw the auras of the Akuma Class change right before her as Lila manipulated them. So, Jason’s aura changing shouldn’t have bothered her so much. After all, he had died. That’s definitely not something you can go through and not be changed.

But there was just something about the sickly green that clung to Jason’s blood red aura like a parasite that unsettled her. Pulling on the innate magic she had unlocked while training at the Guardians’ Temple in Tibet, Marinette secretly willed it to purify the acidic green that sucked off of his aura.

Right after she did that, Marinette could feel Jason stiffen in her arms. In his confusion, he asked her, “Hey, Pixie, did you happen to do anything to me?”

Marinette faked innocence. “No, are you okay? Is there something wrong with you?” Just because Jason was her brother, didn’t mean that she was quite comfortable sharing all parts of herself. And Marinette assumed that was the same for him, too.

Jason spoke again. “Everything’s fine. I’m fine. I just, feel lighter than I did before.”

Beckoning Jason to bend down, Marinette booped his nose as he let out a startled yelp. “Of course you do! After all, you’ve met me again!”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” Jason said with a smile, as he massaged his nose.

“Listen, why don’t we get out of this cemetery and the rain and go somewhere nicer? Like, a cafe or something? I want to know what my baby sister’s been up to all these years.”

“I’m not a baby!” Pouted Marinette, but she smiled too. She had missed the tiny interactions between Jason and her.

Jason broke their hug and shifted the umbrella from one hand to the other. Linking their arms together, he led both of them out the cemetery. They both made sure that the other didn’t step into any muddy puddles.

And, as the two of them walked out the gates laughing and chatting, they closed that chapter of their life and started anew.

一

@jasonette-july-event

#jasonette #sibling jasonette #jasonettejuly2021 #maribat

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iamfitzwilliamdarcy · 7 years

Text

When the World Stops Spinning

Summary: Neither Bruce nor Jason can let go of the past. Mentions of murder and a drug OD. Title taken from Kyler England’s “When the World Stops Spinning” (ao3)

There wasn’t supposed to be anyone else in the Cave when Bruce returned. Dick had Damian for the weekend (and Bruce had to stop thinking of that in terms of some weird custody agreement, no matter how many jokes the kids made; having a sleepover with your siblings was normal), and Tim and Cass had gone back to their own place hours ago.

But someone was there—Jason, his helmet off, held in the crook of his arm, standing in front of his old Robin costume. He didn’t look back when Bruce arrived, but Bruce could tell by the way he stood he knew Bruce was there.

Bruce cleared his throat anyway, moved closer but still kept his distance.

“I didn’t kill anyone tonight,” Jason told him.

Unsure if he should praise or thank Jason, unsure of what he should say at all or what Jason wanted, Bruce just grunted in acknowledgement. There was something self-depreciating, something bitter, in Jason’s voice, so Bruce waited, cautious, for him to continue.

After a long while, Jason said, “But someone died. OD’d. Some new shit on the streets. Couldn’t’ve been older than seventeen.”

Bruce moved closer, and Jason kept talking, his Gotham accent coming out thicker than usual. “None of his dumbass friends called an ambulance, so it was too late for him when I got there. But I stayed with him, y’know, because I’m not total scum all of the time.”

“Jason–,”

“He threw up on me twice,” Jason said. He shook his head.

“I keep a good neurotic’s calendar,” he said. He finally looked over at Bruce, still wearing a domino mask, slid a glance that told him Jason was quoting something, but Bruce didn’t read like Jason did, so he waited to see where he was going with it. It was hard to tell. “It’s the anniversary of my mom’s death.”

“Catherine–,” Bruce started and Jason threw him a filthy look, as if he’d been asking a question.

“Of course, Catherine,” he snapped. “She’s the only real one, anyway. And, in case you’ve forgotten, Dr. Sheila Haywood and I have the same death date.”

“I know,” Bruce said. He hadn’t been asking.

“I don’t even know how long it’s been,” Jason said. “Dying really fucks up your sense of time, doesn’t it?”

Bruce couldn’t say. He hadn’t ever really been dead. Being lost in time was a close runner-up, he guessed, but Jason didn’t want to hear that. Jason snorted, shook his head again. “Sheila Haywood,” he says. “God, fuck.”

Bruce treaded cautiously. They never had a chance to talk about Sheila Haywood. “I know she wasn’t what you expected–,”

Jason laughed a little, and Bruce missed, suddenly, achingly, when his laughter wasn’t always so hollow, so bitter. “She fucking sold me out.” Slid a glance at Bruce, eyebrows raised, amused. “What, she didn’t tell you?”

Bruce shook his head. He hadn’t known—he hadn’t–

“Figures. Guess she was already dead, huh? Or you just assumed the worst.” Jason’s talking again.

“She said,” Bruce cleared his throat, started again. “She said you were better than she deserved. I didn’t—I knew you tried to save her. But I didn’t–,”

“Fucking waste of time,” Jason said. “She wasn’t worth it.”

“Jason,” Bruce started, reaching out to touch his shoulder, but Jason sidestepped him neatly.

“I don’t know why I came here,” he said. “Except I keep thinking about that kid and how in a few years I might’ve killed him anyway.”

And about his mom. Bruce tried again. “Jason, I—”

“Why do you keep that thing around?” Jason interrupted. He actually turned to look at Bruce, arm flung out sideways to point at his old Robin suit. “It’s fucking morbid.”

Jason knew why. It’s the same reason he’s here tonight. But he Bruce didn’t say anything and Jason continued, voice rising until he was raging.

“You look at that, what every day, and you can’t let go of him. And you look at me and that’s who you expect to see!” Bruce, unprepared for this outburst, stepped back.

Jason, abruptly, turned and flung his helmet at the glass case. It bounces off harmlessly “That kid is dead and gone! Let him go! I have.”

Jason stood, chest heaving, glaring at Bruce. Bruce, once he decided he was done, shook his head. He didn’t have anything to say. They both know Jason’s a liar and he’ll never let Robin go; they both know Bruce can’t.

“I’m not him,” Jason said. His lips quirked into a half-smile, but his eyes burned with anger. He shook his head, scooped up his helmet and slammed it back on his head. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

He turned and stormed off, back to his bike, back out of Bruce’s life.

“Hood,” Bruce called after him. Yanked his cowl off, ran a hand through his hair. “Jason.”

He waited until Jason turned back to him, hating that he couldn’t see his face anymore. He could feel the anger, though, the self-depreciating smile, the bitterness.

“Jason,” he repeated, remembering, suddenly, the sensation of cradling his small, broken body, stripping that ruined Robin suit from him, fielding questions. He swallowed, hard, looked directly where he knew he could meet Jason’s eyes through the helmet, even if he couldn’t see. Said, voice steady, firm, meaningful, “I will never let you go.”

Jason stood still a moment, then turned, and Bruce watched him go.

#Bruce Wayne #Jason Todd #Batman #Batfam #fanfic tag #my fic #katie's adventures in writing #i wanted to get this up before church so here we are

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