#should i change it....? is it discouraging interaction in any way...

[sleepysnk]

there’s some things i really wanted to talk about especially regarding my account and tumblr as a whole, so i decided to finally make this post as a way to sort of vent out my feelings on some things.

i’m not gonna lie, tumblr has become a very different place from what it was. i started creating content 3 years ago and it’s gone through so many changes (much expected). however, i don’t think tumblr has really changed for the better, especially when it comes to content creators. this used to be a really safe space for me to come on and create works for fandoms that i enjoyed, but recently, that safe space hasn’t felt, well, safe anymore. there is constant discourse everywhere on this platform and i’ve found that many people here are just extremely bitter? it’s almost like it’s become a mean girl center and it makes it difficult to interact with others.

obviously, this doesn’t go for everyone. i’m not trying to come at people specifically or cause issues, but i have seen my fair share of problems with people on here and some of it is just completely ridiculous.

next, i’d like to discuss the elephant in the room and that’s the lack of interaction/support to writers. it is just mind blowing to me that we as creators have to BEG our followers to reblog or even send us asks. obviously, some people are new to tumblr and don’t understand it’s algorithm, but there are people on here who just simply chose not to reblog for some reason?? it’s not only discouraging, but it puts less confidence in writers and then we aren’t motivated to create content. i’ve said this before, but there is no reason why a 2k note fic should have only 100 or so reblogs. likes mean nothing on this platform. it’s not Twitter. i genuinely have gotten so tired of repeating myself that i don’t even say it anymore because i know it won’t be acknowledged.

i understand people have lives, i do too, but it isn’t hard to send an ask to a writer about literally anything. i think the last time i had an anon ask was weeks ago and i genuinely get disappointed when i ask for interactions just to receive nothing? no one is obligated to speak with me or send me asks by any means, but a little “hey! how are you?” goes a long way. i probably sound ridiculous, but it’s just how i feel about the matter.

another thing that bothers me is when a writer doesn’t write smut or suggestive content, they hardly get any interaction. i’ve seen it myself before and i’m not sure why people just ignore greatly written fics?? i understand that smut is the main appeal. trust me, i 100% get it, but fluff writers hardly get any attention and some of the best fics i’ve read weren’t even smut related. i’m not saying every person here has to read fluff or angst fics by any means, but it makes me sad that people write these fics to hardly get any interaction because it isn’t smut content. the least y’all can do is reblog it.

to discuss my account, i honestly don’t really feel the most happy here. i don’t have as much motivation as i used to and i have contemplated removing my account, but i have some great fics i’d rather not have be deleted. i might start a new account for a fresh start, but i’m still not 100% on it.

and if you read this till the end, thank you! i probably sound like a whiny baby but i just wanted to express some of my feelings because it’s been weighing on me a lot recently.

[cienie-isengardu]

Zuko & Azula in "The Beach" [2]

Another thing I like about Zuko and Azula’s relationship in “The Beach” episode is how Zuko does not question his sister’s sincerity nor look for hidden goals, the way he does when they are at the palace.  

At the palace there are “why” and “what you want” questions looming over their interaction. It does not matter if Azula is telling the truth and acting out of sibling love/sympathy for her older brother or if she is a clever mastermind that will use Zuko as scapegoat in case of her own failure. The point is Zuko can’t trust his sister, because his self-preservation instinct and fears of Ozai won’t allow him to lower his guard around her, because Azula is the person that will gain the most from his fall out of grace. It is however worth to note, that despite the uncertainty of his relationship with Azula, she is one of three people Zuko comes to seek advice, comfort and/or information before leaving Fire Nation on his own accord. The other two are Mai and imprisoned uncle Iroh which shows both A) how important Azula is and B) how complicated is their relationship, at least from Zuko’s perspective.

But then during “The Beach” episode, Zuko only once questioned Azula’s motivation and accepted her reasoning without further doubt or scorn:

Zuko: Why didn't you tell those guys who we were? Azula: I guess I was intrigued. I'm so used to people worshiping us. Ty Lee: They should. Azula: Yes, I know, and I love it. But, for once, I just wanted to see how people would treat us if they didn't know who we were.

From all the people gathered here, Zuko is the one that knows best how people may treat you when they don't know who you truly are - or in case of Zhao, when you were no longer protected by Fire Lord. As he spent around three years working hard to earn back his title of the Prince and the respect that comes with it, he had the most reason to argue against sister’s plan and simply enjoy the prestige he wanted. But he did not try to discourage Azula from pretending to be a normal teenager and rolled with her plan with no complaint - even though he knows very well how bad his social skills are. 

Another important thing to note, once Zuko had an argument with Mai and in result was kicked out of the party, he has never used the “I’m Royalty” card. If Azula chose to stay there, her anonymity was secured and she could still pretend to be a normal teenager and to flirt with boys without any supervision (any risk their father will find out).

But as the episode showed, Azula didn’t stay at the party and she went to look for Zuko, presumably once she learned what happened (she was at that time trying and failing to flirt with Chen, so she may not witness her brother’s outburst). And here comes the thing that contrasts a lot with their interaction at the palace: Zuko doesn’t question Azula’s motives.

When she comes to their vacation home, he doesn't ask why she left the party - her occasion to be just a teenager, something she was curious about - or why she would even bother to check on him. Zuko doesn’t even look surprised to see Azula there, only commenting “Those summers we spent here seem so long ago. So much has changed.”

Similarly, Zuko doesn’t question Azula’s “Come down to the beach with me”. There is no “why would you want to spend time with me?”, nor demand to be left alone - and mind you, the one time in flashback Azula insisted Zuko join her and her friends, it was to make fun of him and Mai. Here, Zuko takes sister’s invitation without any hesitation or without further persuasion.

Franky, the same can be said about going to the party itself. When Chen & Ruon-Jian invited Ty Lee and Mai, Azula immediately asked “What about me and my brother? Aren't you going to invite us?”, like she and Zuko are a package deal. It was not “what about me, and hey, this loser sadly must go with us”. Without second thought Azula included his brother and there was no following scene in which Zuko questioned why his sister would want him to tag along, when she already has her friends to accompany her. 

And this contrast between Zuko’s mistrust when they are both at the palace and how they are getting along without constantly questioning if Azula has some hidden goal really highlights the difference between those two settings. The same as could be seen with their teamwork during the game, the siblings can support each other without bitter rivalry imposed on them by father’s favoritism. And yes, there is still (emotional) tension between them when they talk about their traumas, but I think Ember Island is a place where Zuko and Azula feel more free to act as siblings. Which really makes one wonder what kind of siblings they could be, if they were allowed to grow up as such.

[bubblybubbubs]

Stuck with Me (4)

Soulmate AU - Draco Malfoy x Reader Summary - Draco finally reunites with his amnesiac soulmate. She still doesn't remember him and he is sad. It gets complicated, they both have issues. Slow burn.

Word Count - 12k

AN: Holy shit. I'm sorry this took me two? years to churn out. But here it is. It's not super proofread which is surprising given it took me two years. I just knew if I didn't publish it the minute I wrote the last word it would never happen. If this is your first time seeing this series don't get discouraged by the length of this part, the other parts are a reasonable length I just went crazy here. Warnings: Smut adjacent tags : @sadgirlgiselle @flores-and-sunshine @pencilupyourass @procrastinatorofwriting @fluffybunnyu @weasleysmalfoyxstyles @bi-andready-tocry 

part 1, part 2, part 3

The rubbish that scattered the ruins of Hogwarts dug into the fabric of your pants as you both sat against the walls of what once was the great hall.

Ron and Hermoine had both left, but you were both still there. It was dark and cold, and the moon light illuminated your face in the perfect way. The same way it had when the both of you would walk around the grounds at night, the only time there wasn't any prying eyes. 

“So I got amnesia, and you ditched me?” You said plainly, breaking Draco's focus on the details of your face. He had given you a brief recap of what you should remember about him and why he had stayed away for so long, it didn't seem to be going in his favor at the moment.

Draco tensed. “Well when you put it like that..”

“What other way is there to put it?” You snapped back, the fire in your voice was so familiar to him he was almost happy to hear you upset with him.

“Im sorry I really am, I haven’t been making the best decisions as of late.”

“Yeah I can tell.” You said. “Now what?”

“You still don’t remember me?” Draco said, hoping you had remembered and were only dragging it out as a joke.

“No.” You said rolling your eyes. 

“I didn't really have a back up plan. I just assumed you seeing me would, I don’t know, kick your memories into gear.”

“Cocky are we?” You said, unimpressed.

“I’ve been called worse”

“I don't doubt it.”

Draco felt as if this conversation was going worse and worse by the second. “You know with the way you're talking to me, you’d think your memories would be back.”

“Yeah maybe they’re sitting in my deep deep deep subconscious.”

“Funny” He said crossing his arms.

“Is that really the best you could do, I mean I am your soulmate after all, couldn’t at least dress up for the occasion?” You motioned to his pajamas, the ones he hadn't changed all week.

He turned bright red, he was going to kill pansy. If this kept conversation kept going as badly as it was, he would make sure Pansy would hear about it for the rest of her life.

“Yeah well, I didn't exactly have the time to pick my Sunday best.” He said. “My friend Pansy quite literally had to drag me off my couch for me to come here.”

“That excited to see me?” You said. “I think I remember her. Pug faced, Slytherin, kind of mean?”

“I'm starting to get offended.” He said frowning. Of course, you remembered Pansy, who you likely interacted one time in your entire life, and not him.

“Im starting to think there’s a reason I didn’t remember you.”

His face visibly fell.

“Sorry, this is kind of a new situation to me, I get mean when I’m nervous.” You said kicking the dirt under your shoes.

“And here I was thinking we were bantering.”

You made a face. “Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.” You weren’t sure how to handle the situation. You knew that you were missing something, even before the moment you saw him with Ginny, something felt off. But that didn’t change the fact that you knew nothing about the boy standing infront of you, your soulmate.

You stood up, reaching out a hand to help him up which he took.

“No use in being among this depressing rubbish is there? I remember Hogwarts, what I don't remember is you.” You said. “Might as well get going, Molly is supposed to make a big meal today, you should join us.”

"Me? In the Weasley house?” Draco chuckled. “Merlin your memory really is fucked.”

-

“Mr. and Mrs Weasley, hello.” Draco said sheepishly.

Draco was assuming that you didn’t know that the both of you would be so late to dinner, or maybe you did and the awkwardness of the situation was you getting some retribution for all the times he wronged you.

The Weasley's all sat around the table, and it was all of them. When Draco imagined a big meal, he just imagined a regular dinner for the Weasleys, but it was a BIG meal, there were mini-Weasleys here he didn't even know existed.

The older ones, Bill, his wife Fleur, Charlie, and Percy tried to remain polite and kept to their conversations. 

Ron, George, and Ginny made no such effort.

Ron was about to protest his entrance when Molly stood up quickly welcoming him and magically adding two spots to the already stuffed table. Not surprisingly between the two worst options, Ron and Ginny. Y/n opted to sit next to Ginny leaving Draco to sit next to Ron, he audibly groaned when Draco sat next to him.

“Manners Ron!” Molly said to him causing him to mumble an apology. It came to no shock to Draco that Ron wouldn’t bother to hide his distaste for him, it was deserved to say the least.

“Y/n is a member of this family,” Molly said standing next to the table. “She is free to bring anyone to join our meals, especially when that anyone is her soulmate, I’d think you lot out of anyone would see the importance of a connection like that!”

“Now go on eat your food and stop gawking!” Molly tisked and mumbled under her breath. “As if they’ve never seen a Malfoy before.”

Draco awkwardly kept quiet.

“Thank you, Molly.” You responded. “We’re sorry for coming so late.”

“We’re just glad to have you, darling!” She said. “How is it going by the way, are the memories coming back?”

“It’s a work in progress.” You said smiling.

“Of course.” She said giving you a warm smile.

“Make yourself at home Draco, for as long as you’d like to stay.” Molly said. 

Draco was shocked by her hospitability, he thought he would get kicked out of the house the minute they saw him, given his history.

“I’d reckon we should get them their own room Arthur. Better than having them both staying in a cot in Ginny’s room.” She said with a laugh.

“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary Molly.” You said nearly choking on your food with laughter. “I doubt Draco will be staying for too long.”

“Well, you never know.” Molly said.

“I think it’s about time I’ve got my room back to myself, no offense.” Ginny said with a playful grin on her face.

“Believe me, none taken.” You said. “But I feel as if I’m already imposing enough as it is I wouldn't-“

“Nonsense!” Arthur said. “It’s just a few flicks of the wand.”

“I’m starting to wonder why this didn’t come up a few months ago.” Ginny said.

“Wow I didn’t know rooming with me was such a pain Gin.” You said laughing.

“It was almost worse than when we all were sleeping in the room of requirement, remember?” Ginny said. This was a habit that Ginny had taken on, whenever she spoke about something that happened at Hogwarts she would always check to make sure you knew what she was talking about.

“Yeah, I remember.” You said smiling.

The mood at the table grew somber at the mention of the war and Draco grew stiff. Everyone at the table knew of his role in making the events unfold the way they did and he knew it too.

Bill interrupted with a story of how his baby was learning how to crawl and everyone’s focus shifted to him.

“And how did you come to that conclusion?” Draco said quietly to you. He couldn’t help the nervous feeling that flooded his senses. There had been a point in his life where he felt he couldn’t comfortably tell you anything, now here he was nervous to even speak to you.

“Pardon?”

“You said that I wouldn’t be staying for too long.” He said pulling together all the strength he had to not show his nerves. “I don’t recall deciding that.”

“You spent almost everyday of 6th year complaining to me about how Ron sat next to you in potions. Do you really think you could live here with Ron? Not to mention the rest of the Weasleys” You said it so freely you didn’t even notice that you had remembered something.

“You remember all that?” Draco said with a smile. He saw a glimpse of you, the you that remembered him, and he could almost feel the anxiety melt away. The return of the sense of familiarity.

“Yeah, I guess I do.” You said returning the smile. He missed that smile so fucking much.

“Yeah.” He said taking a spoon full of the stew Molly made. Trying to hide the grin growing on his face, it had been you. For a second maybe but for that second he felt as if he was talking to you, the You he remembered. "I think I’ll be sticking around.”

-

Molly was so excited to show you the new room, she kept going on about how it was the first room she had added since Ron and Ginny grew out of sharing a room. It was cute and looked like the rest of the Burrow.

“Thank you, Molly, this means a lot to me.” You said taking in the act of kindness. “You’ve been so kind taking me in the way that you have.”

“You are family.” She said pressing a kiss to your forehead. “We are here to help you through every step of your recovery, and then some.”

She looked at Draco who stood awkwardly at the entrance of the room.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” She said with a warm smile that Draco was growing to like.

“This is cozy.” He said.

“I hope you mean cozy in a good way.” You said making a face at him. 

“Believe me, I do,” Draco said. "This is a mansion compared to my living arrangements these past few months.”

“Who were you staying with.” You asked as you ran your finger along the books Molly had no doubt picked out for you that sat on your new nightstand that had the signature Arthur Weasley touch, meaning that it was somewhat slanted but you wouldn't have it any other way.

“Blaise Zabini, you probably wouldn’t remember him.” Draco continued with a laugh. “Don’t believe I ever got around to introducing you two.”

“Was that a joke?” You said. “Can’t really tell if something actually never happened, or if I’m just not remembering it.”

“Oh, it was a joke.” He said embarrassed. “I never introduced you to any of my friends, our relationship was, private.”

“Except for this one time.” He laughed. “You had come up to my table during a meal and sat yourself across from me demanding me to speak with you, and when Pansy told you to buzz off you told her you were my soulmate.”

“Wow, I sound amazing.” You laughed.

“Yeah. You had your moments.”

He liked talking to you again, hearing your voice was intoxicating, but still, your conversations felt so impersonal.

You still had your snark but it wasn’t you, you didn’t look at him the way you used to, and he didn’t look at you the way he used to. It was as if someone else was living in your body.

Neither of you knew quite how to speak to the other so the room was filled with tense and awkward air, something Draco had never experienced with you.

“I think it’s best if we don’t stay in the same room.” Draco said.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.” You said. “Where will you stay?”

“I have an idea, a potentially problematic one, but an idea nonetheless.”

-

“Are you demented.” Ron squealed. “You really think I’d have you sleeping in my room? I’d prefer to not be smothered in my sleep thank you very much.”

“Weasley.” Draco had never in his life imagined himself in this position. Groveling with Ron Weasley to let him stay in his room, it was almost hysterical. 

“Don't Weasley me!” Ron scoffed. “It’s one thing you being my home, but my room! You’re out of your bloody mind, you’ve completely lost it.”

Draco wasn’t dim. He in no way had been expecting Ron to welcome him into his house with open arms, much less his room. But he was desperate, he had to be close to you. He wasn’t going to give up, not this time. He would make you fall in love with him a million times if he had to.

“I can’t sleep in the same room as her, and I don’t have any other options if I want to stay here.”

“She’s your soulmate, stay with her!”

“She’s not my soulmate, she’s not my y/n.”

“This is exactly why I don’t need you in my room.” Ron huffed. “I have no interest in any of your issues.”

“It won’t be a long time just until she regains her memory,” Draco said hurriedly. “This is me groveling Weasley, please.”

Ron let out a long and dramatic groan throwing himself onto his bed.

“If you kill me, I’ll be really mad.”

“I gathered that.”

-

“We really took nature walks?” You questioned. Stepping on the stones that lead you further away from the Burrow. The Weasleys lived fairly removed from anyone else leaving plenty of land to explore.

“Once in a while,” Draco said. “I think the stress of war really brought out our appreciation for the simpler things in life.”

Your hair was pinned up and you looked stunning, not that he could say that to you. 

"How long are you staying for." You asked. "Not that I want you to leave."

"As long as it takes." He said. "If that's alright without you."

"That's alright with me." You said smiling at him. "Better than having you go be all lethargic on Blaise's couch." Even though Draco still felt like an acquintainces, you couldn’t help but feel guilty. You had gathered from what Ginny said that he hadn’t been in a good state since your injury and it weighed on you, you felt responsible somehow for what he had gone through in the last few months. You felt even more guilty about still not remembering him.

"Fair enough." 

"You know he wrote me."

"He wrote you?"

"He wanted to make sure I was treating his best friend right." You said with a grin. "He really cares about you it's sweet."

"When you get your memories back you have to meet my friends, they've heard a lot about you."

"I wonder how long it's going to take." You say. "It's already been a week."

"Don't rush yourself." He said. 

"I know, it's just so frustrating." You said. "I remember everything but you."

"It’s just the universe getting back at me for being born, it’ll pass."

-

It didn’t pass, months went by, and as each month came and went you both were growing less and less hopeful of your memories coming back. It was eating away at you, the way he looked at you when he was referencing something you knew he was praying you’d remember and how he looked every time you had to let him down. It was the same thing over and over, you would spend time together, he would bring something up from your past, you wouldn’t remember it and then he would remember you weren’t the y/n he fell in love with, those shoes were beginning to seem impossible to fill.

The stress you were under was overwhelming, every minute of your day felt like it was devoted to remembering. You weren’t allowed to move on with your life, to create new memories, not until you had recovered the old ones. 

You tried to stifle your cries with your pillow but Ginny almost had a sixth sense with her keen readings of your emotions, so there she was at your door.

“Y/n.” She said softly approaching you, taking your face into her hands. “Hey, it’s okay.” She said continuing to soothe you. “I’m letting everyone down Ginny, why can’t I fucking remember? That’s the only thing anyone wants from me and it’s the one thing I can’t do.”

“What are you talking about.” Ginny said, “We just want you to be happy.” You took a second to catch your breath.

“Every conversation I have just seems like a test, I just want to live Ginny. I can’t keep going on like this, I’m just going to keep disappointing everyone and that’s too much for me.”

“You could never disappoint us.” She said pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “But I get how you feel, I’ll tell everyone to cool it, I promise.” “What about Draco?” He was your biggest concern. He had the most at stake with you, every day he was counting on seeing his soulmate in you and you just could never seem to do that for him. You didn’t want to let him down, make him think that his soulmate was gone for good.

“What about him?” Ginny huffed. “If he loves you as much as he said he does he’s going to be kicking himself knowing how you’ve been feeling. Everyone just wants you to be happy Y/n.”

Ginny left you alone with your thoughts, you knew you had to cool it with Draco. Maybe it was the amount of pressure you put on your relationship that wasn’t letting you remember it all.

-

You knocked on his door quietly. 

“Come in.” He yelled from behind the door. Fred, Ron, and Draco were sprawled on the floor around some sort of floor, it was certainly an interesting sight.

“We’re playing wizard skittles, you want to play?” Draco said, eager to include you.

“No way man, we’re midgame. We’d have to start all over and I’m winning.” Ron said nudging at Draco to redirect his attention, which Draco ignored. “I’m good actually, I was hoping to talk to you, Draco.” The three boys looked at you not moving. “Alone.”

“We know when we’re not wanted,” Fred said taking the game out of the room with Ron on his tail. “You’re disqualified Malfoy.” Draco rolled his eyes before turning his attention back to you. “Is it your memory, is it back?” He said eagerly, you could almost hear him holding his breath. “No. But I did want to talk about that.” You said, he patted the spot next to him on the floor cushions and you sat next to him. 

“I think it’s best for me, and my memory if I just stop all this.” Draco furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback . “I’m not following?”

“The constant questions, you walking me through every day we spent together. I just can’t take it. What if I never get my memory back.” You had already started getting yourself used to the idea. “That’s not going to happen, you’re already so close.” The thing was that you weren’t. You knew it, and you knew he knew it too. He just didn’t want to admit it.

“I’ve been close for months, this might well be the best we get and I think I need to move on with my life and so do you.”

“If that’s what you want,” Draco said looking at the ground and you counted yourself lucky for that. You wouldn’t be able to bare it, the final look of devastation and disappointment on his face.  “ I can be out by the end of the week, I just need to talk to Blaise about moving back in.” He said looking away from you looking completely defeated “I’m sure he won't mind.” 

“You don’t need to leave Draco.” You said, and you truly meant it. You liked Draco you really did, the issue was that you didn’t love him. The last thing you wanted to do was uproot his life again and make him start over. Besides where would he go? Regardless of your feelings for him, he was your soulmate, and you couldn’t let your soulmate go homeless.

“You were the only thing keeping me here.” He said sharply.

“You like it here, the Weasleys love you and besides you said you hated Blaise’s couch.”

“I do hate Blaise’s couch.” He took a long pause, still not looking you in the eyes. “I’ll let you know, thank you Y/n.” 

“I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry for the way I’ve made you feel.” -

“What the fuck mate!” Ron said swinging the door open. Draco tensed at the sound. Him and Ron had surprisingly become good friend. Admittedly, it had taken a while but he found he had truly enjoyed the company of the person he despised for the majority of his life. The issue with that is that Ron no longer had any hesitation on commenting on his personal life. “Why did Blaise just write me saying you’re thinking of moving back in with him.” “She’s given up, she wants to move and I need to let her.” Draco said, avoiding eye contact with Ron. “She told you to leave? I can change her mind.” Ron said. Draco couldn’t help but feel a bit flattered that Ron would be willing to do that for him. “No, she told me to stay.” “Then why the fuck are you leaving.” 

“Staying is going to break my heart.” Ron looked at Draco with pity. Draco hated that.

“You’re going to be heartbroken either way. Stop being stupid.” Ron didn’t get it, he and Hermoine had this annoyingly perfect relationship. 

“I don’t want to impose on your family anymore either.” “I actually had a thought about that.” Ron said. “Ginny and I were thinking about moving out. We found a great flat, with four bedrooms. Hermione and I in one room, Ginny was going to take one, Y/n would take another and we have a fourth one, for you. ”

Draco stilled, “Really?” Flattered couldn’t begin to describe how he felt. This wasn’t a spur of the moment, ‘we’ll make it work’. They had thought of him when planning this. They wanted him there. “What about Potter?”

“Tried to convince him but I think he’s going to be staying with Andromeda,” Ron said. “Your aunt, he wants to help with Teddy. Feels awful guilty I reckon.”

Draco paused. His heart couldn’t help but feel lighter. Ron Weasley liked him. He was inviting him to live together, by choice. He had never imagined what forgiveness would feel like, but this seemed to be it or something close to it anyways. “I’ll talk to Y/n about it, I wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

“Ginny and I haven’t talked to her about it yet, but I’m sure she’ll be fine with it,” Ron said putting a hand on Draco’s shoulder and nodding at him. “So you can unpack that bag, at least for now.”

-

You held your boxes of things close to your chest as you walked up the stairs of your apartment building toward your new flat. It would be hard to get used to not using magic for everything, but Hermione insisted on it. Her new job in the Ministry had her more strict on the statute of secrecy than she had been in school. 

“Need a hand?” Draco called from behind you. You were happy that he had chosen to join you, truly you were. The last thing you wanted was to tear him away from a life he had grown comfortable with, you saw the way he was happy with Ginny and Ron, and based on the letters you had gotten from both Pansy and Blaise this was the first time he had felt that way in a long time. He took a box from the top of your teetering pile before opening the door for you. 

“It’s,  nice.” You said with an evident pause. The question of how you had gotten such an affordable deal was instantaneously answered, you turned to Draco to see how he felt about the place but saw no such reaction.

“I’ll take what I can get,” Draco said setting your box and his things down. “I lived on Blaise’s couch for a year and have been sleeping a few feet away for Ron for the last few months. My own room is a blessing.”

“It’s perfect,” Ginny said entering the flat with her own boxes in tow, Harry not too far behind, helping her with her things. “I love Mum, but Merlin am I excited for some freedom.” “Like you ever listened to her.” Ron snorted, your friends fell into their comfortable banter and you wandered off toward the rooms. They were tiny for sure but you couldn’t help but like them. You were beginning to feel normal again when you first woke up and had no memory you didn’t see yourself living a normal life but here you were, back on track. Your eyes found themselves on Draco and you felt uneasy, you didn’t know how he fit into your new life. He was your roommate now,  his place in this flat was as cemented as yours. You no longer felt guilt every time you saw him, that was a step forward for sure, but still, a sort of uneasiness came over you. You pushed it aside, the whole reason you had shut down Draco the way you had was so you’d be able to have a normal life, and that included treating Draco like you would every other person in the flat, like a friend.

-

“Draco your friends are here.” Ron called from the door as Pansy pushed past Ron and into the flat.

“Sorry.” Blaise said.

“What have I said about apologizing for me Blaise?” Pansy groaned. “Which room is Draco’s?”

“What are you guys doing here?” Draco asked.

“Starts living with a bunch of Gryffindors and forgets all about his friends, typical.” Pansy exclaimed.

“I got to say I agree with her.” Blaise said.

Ron walked away from them, overwhelmingly uninterested in their dramatics.

“I haven’t forgotten about you,” Draco said. “You guys are my best friends.”

“Okay we get it,” Pansy said rolling her eyes. “No need to get all sentimental.”

Draco had really missed his friends, he liked his flat mates he really did. It took some time to get used to ‘Game Night’ but he was growing to appreciate the Gryffindor-esque of his roomates. But Pansy and Blaise had been there from the beginning, there were things about Draco that only they would understand, them and Y/n, of course, atleast the old Y/n. 

“We’re taking you out for drinks.” Pansy exclaimed excitedly, shaking Draco slightly. 

“Not my idea,” Blaise said shaking his head. 

“I’m controlling myself now, I’ll be fine.” Draco said. He really was getting better, he didn’t like to think about the mess he was before he had moved in with the Weasleys.

“So emotional, the both of you,” Pansy said shaking her head. “It’s so boring.”

Pansy fussed over both his and Blaise’s outfits for the next hour before sheathing her jacket to show off one of her clubbing outfits, only much more extravagant than anything Draco has seen her wear in the past.

“Where exactly are we going?” Draco said.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about that,” Pansy said.

-

It was worse than Draco expected, Pansy had really outdone herself. The club was packed, every few steps Draco felt the sweat of others on him and had to stop himself from physically cringing. 

“Let loose a little!” Pansy said, her own excitement visible all over her face as she leaned over the bar to talk to the bartender.

“When was the last time you had a little fun?” Blaise said.

“I have fun.” Draco said. “I like living with all of them.” “I don’t mean that type of fun.”

Draco snorted. “What to do you think.” “You depress me Draco, you really do.” Blaise said. “Do you need me to be your wingman or something? How times have changed, the Draco Malfoy needs help getting laid.”

“I don’t need help getting laid Blaise,” Drcao said, embarassed and irritated. “I just don’t really want to.” “Merlin, it’s even worse than I thought.” Blaise immediately turned to the bartender ordering drinks for the both of them.

-

Draco sits at the bar silently, Blaise had found someone else more interesting and abandoned him so he was sulking at a bar, very typical of him, he thought to himself. He tried to look as unapproachable as possible but he felt a burning stare on him and couldn’t help but turn to look who was sending it. He looked up to see a girl who was intently headed in his direction, he looked around for his friends desperate for a quick way out but they were no where to be found. 

The girl took a seat next to him, “Thanks for the drink.” She said with a slight giggle and she swirled her drink around before drinking more of it. Draco stared down at her cup completely confused before putting it together, Blaise just loved to meddle. He wasn’t sure what to say but luckily for him there was no need for that, the girl talked his ear off. 

Eventually she grew tired of sitting and dragged him to the dance floor. Draco didn’t want to offend this girl so he feigned the most interest he could while simultaneously backing away from her. He was already many drinks in and he still wasn’t able to drown out the fact that this girl was not you. Evidently the girl didn’t pick up on just how put off Draco was and he had to put an end to it. 

He pushed her hands off of his chest where they had been,

 “Hey-”

Whatever protest he was going to put up were quickly shut down by the girl all but throwing herself on Draco, her lips were smothering his and Draco was complteley frozen for one second and the next he was gagging. The girl backed away immediately in disgust, just in time for Draco to throw up all over her shoes. The attention of the entire room seemed to be on him and the girl as many of them began to laugh at the scene. Pansy and Blaise quickly found him and dragged him to the bathroom. 

Pansy tried to stiffly her laughter as Blaise scolded her.

“I thought you could hold your liquor Malfoy.” Blaise laughed. “Time have really changed.”

“It wasn’t the drinks, she kissed me.” Draco mumbled.

“Did she taste bad or something?” Pansy chortled.” God how embarrassing, for her that is.”

“She tasted fine.” Draco said as he cleaned himself infront of the bathroom mirror.

“It’s okay mate, you tried.” Blaise said. “But if you had let me be your wingman you probably wouldn’t have thrown up.” “I really don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Draco said plainly, amusment gone from his voice. He could’ve told them that this would have happened. Saved them the trouble. He was living with you as friends sure, but that didn’t mean he was over his soulmate. Pansy and Blaise exchanged a guilty look.

“We’ll take you back to your place.”

-

Draco closes the door behind him quietly, feel a bit of relief wash over him.

“Hey,” You said from the sofa, she was sat down working on some sort of craft project. “How was your night out?”

He considered being honest with you, telling you that he threw up because he couldn’t handle kissing anyone that wasn’t his soulmate. But there would be no point in that because you were not his soulmate. He wasn’t sure when it had set in but he knew that he didn’t feel the same way seeing you as he once did, so he lied. “It went great.”

“That’s great,” You said smiling up at him. Draco started to head towards his room before you called after him. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” 

He nodded before taking a seat on the couch, leaving a seat between the both of you.

“I don’t know how to approach this, given our situation.” You looked up while you spoke, avoiding his eyes. “I got asked on date, and I wanted to take them up on the offer. I just wanted to check with you before I said anything, I would hate to make you uncomfortable.” He didn’t understand how he felt, he thought he didn’t love this new Y/n but the thought of you going on a date with someone else made him want to throw up again. It was a constant whirl of confusion, but you seemed to know what you wanted. The only thing he did know was that he missed his soulmate, so much that it hurt.

“Go for it, I’m good.” Draco lied. “Really, I am.”

-

You posed in front of the mirror with Ginny and Hermione.

“We look so good,” She shook you with excitement. “I’m serious we’re going to kill this party.”

“This is what our last few years should’ve been like, partying, dressing up,” Ginny said shaking her head. “Not war.”

“I’m glad Parvati is having this party,” You said adjusting the straps of your dress. “Melin, we need it. I mean when was the last time any of us were able to feel our age.”

“I agree,” Hermione said. “And we look really good.”

The three of you were dressed as pirates, Parvati had called all of you up only a week ago with the idea of throwing a Halloween party and you had all been in agreement. “Can you tell Draco that he has to go?” Ron said standing in your doorway and knocking on the bathroom door to get your attention.

“He doesn’t want to go?” Hermione asks.

“No,” Ron says frustrated. “He thinks people aren’t going to want him there.”

You follow Ginny and Hermione out of the bathroom, Draco is sat on the couch arms crossed, likely already having received a lecture from Ron on the importance of Halloween parties.

“Draco get dressed!” Ginny exclaimed pulling his blanket off of him. “You’re going to make us late.”

“I already said I’m not going,” Draco said yanking his blanket back. “I’m serious, I don’t want to spend my whole night surrounded by people who hate me.”

“They don’t hate you.” Ginny said, sounding wholey unconvincing.

Draco didn’t budge off of the couch.

“Fine whatever, be lame!” Ginny said going back to getting ready followed by Hermione. Ron scoffed and went back to putting together his own costume, a mummy. You stood awkwardly in the living room, across from Draco. His eyes softened when it was just you, whatever irritation he had at his friends dissipated. 

“The point of this party is to get everyone’s spirits up after everything we’ve gone through,” You said. “You went through the War just like the rest of us, you deserve to move on too.”

You give him a small smile before heading off to the bathroom too. Ginny talked your ear off about how excited she was to see everyone and Harry who had been so busy lately. You nodded along to her recounts drifting off until a soft knock caught your attention.

Draco stood at the door, he was wearing an orange shirt with a haphazardly drawn face on it, “I’m a pumpkin.” He said, you couldn’t help but smile up at him. 

-

It seemed like your entire year had shown up to the party, it felt strange seeing everyone in the same place again. Your friends had all dispersed all having their own people to catch up with, except for Draco who stuck by your side.

“Are your friends coming?” You asked him as you maneuvered through the crowd of people.

Draco snorted, “No, Pansy told me she’d rather die and Blaise said that I’d damper his Halloween spirit.”

“I guess we’ll just have to show Blaise you have tons of Halloween spirit.” You said.

“I guess we do.” Draco laughed. “Want me to get us some drinks?”

You nodded before he walked off, you could sense his uneasiness as he walked towards the drinks, having to get past all of the people who wanted nothing to do with him. You hoped he’d be able to have a good time, you were the reason he was here after all.

You were brought away from your thoughts at the familiar nasal tone of Romilda Vane’s voice, it was the same one you heard gossiping almost every night in the Gryffindor common room.

“What is he doing here?”

“Doesn’t he look good,” Lavender said. “Merlin, how does he make orange work?”

“He’s a murder Lav, get yourself together,” Romilda said. “ How the fuck did his psycho ass even get invited?”

“Apparently he lives with Ron, Ginny, Hermione, and Y/n.” Katie chimed in. “Merlin, he’s got to have put some spell on them.” Romilda said in disbelief. “What the fuck is he playing at.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” You spun around to face them, the look on the three girls faces blanched for a second, not having seen you. “Mind your own fucking business.”

Lavendar and Katie backed away, not wanting the confrontation but Romilda only puffed out her chest and stepped closer to you, it was an intimidation tacit she had used since your first year. 

“We have the right to be concerned for our safety.” Romilda sneered. “Well, I’m telling you that your perfectly safe, so shut your mouth Romilda.” You said trying not to backdown. You were not a fighter, Ginny had enough aggressiveness for the both of you.

“What, are you shagging him?” Romilda laughed. “Is that really all it takes to get you to forget that Death Eaters are bad, it’s pathetic really. ”

Before you could even process that Ginny was right behind you, ready to handle Romilda herself, you hit her. Your fist stung and you shook it as she cried out and gripped at her face, making a spectacle of herself. Everyone was turning to look at you.

“What is going on?” Padma said. You explained under your breath, Padma had always been your friend more than Romilda’s, it didn’t take much convincing to show her Romilda was in the wrong. It was Romilda after all. Katie and Lavender had to drag her out as she cried out in protest. 

“I’m so sorry Padma, I know how much this party meant to you, and to everyone.” You were more than embarrassed.

“She was out of line, it would’ve been wrong for you not to put her in her place.” She said before leaving you on your own. The party quickly picked up, your drama no doubt firing a bit of the stir. 

“Was that awesome or what?” Ginny said coming up you with Hermione and Ron in tow. “Where did you learn to hit like that? Oh wait, I totally taught you!”

“Where’s Draco?” You asked, there was no way he had missed all the commotion. You hoped you hadn’t made him feel worse. Ginny rolled her eyes at how quickly you killed her excitement. “In some corner sulking probably,” Ron said. Hermione supported his statement, nudging your elbow and pointing towards where he was. Standing in a corner of the room while swirling his drink around. You abandoned your friends and walked towards him, already piling up the stew of apologies you owed him. “I’m so sorry Draco, I didn’t mean to bring more attention to you.”

He looked at you confused, “You hit Romilda because of me?” Your face turned red. 

“You didn’t hear all that?”

“Not until she started screaming. Shit, I knew I shouldn’t have come.”

“No, It’s my own fault. I just got myself carried away.”

“What happened?”

“She was just saying stuff she had no business saying.” You said. 

“I’m sorry.” “For what?” “Ruining your night, if I hadn’t come she wouldn’t have had anything to talk about.” “Don’t apologize. You're my friend, I’ll make a million more scenes if I have to.”

“Please don’t.” He laughed before his expression softened. “I’m glad we’re friends by the way.” Draco meant it too. Surprisingly, it was getting easier. You weren’t the Y/n that was his soulmate, you were the Y/n that was his friend and this reality was increasingly becoming less scary.

“Me too.”

“Fuck.” He said.

“What?” “Now I have to punch someone.” Draco said pinching the bridge of his nose, feigning anguish. You laughed and shoved him.

-

“What is she doing!” Ginny yelped as she pressed herself to the window trying to get the best look down from her apartment building.

“Keep your voice down.” Hermione scolded from next to her, although she was equally as curious. Even with Hermione’s shushing Draco and Ron came out of their rooms to see what the fuss was about. 

“What’s going on?” Draco said looking between the two girls and then at Ron who looked equally as confused.

Ginny let out a scream at the sight of Draco before standing on the couch making her best effort to cover the window. “Don’t look!” Draco ignored Ginny and went up to the window, it was You. You were wearing, what Ginny would call a ‘Bad Bitch’ outfit, it was new, he definitely hadn’t seen it before. It seemed like you were going to wear it to wherever Zacharias Smith was planning on taking you in that car of his. This must’ve been that date you had told him about, he wasn’t sure why he hadn’t thought it was going to happen, but here it was.

“It’s fine.” He said moving away from the window. “She told me she was going on a date.” “Did you know it was with Zacharias Smith!” Ginny exclaimed, sinking into the sofa in defeat. “That guy sucks!”

Draco didn’t know Zacharias but he was glad to have a valid reason to not like him, although Ginny’s bar for ‘suck’ was pretty low.

“It’s really none of my business.” Draco said, he didn’t miss the look of pity from Hermione and Ron.

“It its your business,” Ginny said. “You’re her soulmate!”

Draco sighed “I really don’t want to get into this right now.” “It’s alright mate.” Ron said, patting him on the back. “Leave him alone Ginny!”

Draco made his way back to his room, shutting the door behind him to try to lose the sound of Ginny and Ron arguing. He was trying to convince himself that it was fine, he had date options too! He could finally take Astoria up on that offer, Pansy wouldn’t let him hear the end of it, Astoria being Daphne’s baby sister and all that, but still. What did Pansy know anyways? If Y/n could move on, he could to. In fact he had to, he didn’t want to seem obsessed with her or anything like that. They were roomates afterall. 

Draco pulled paper out of his desk before writing to Astoria, he crumbled it up the first time. But the second time he managed a possibly too formal invitation for a date, he handed it to his owl before he had the chance to change his mind.

-

You picked at your food as Zacharias went on about what he’s been up to since Hogwarts. Working his way up the ministry ladder, or something along those lines. You remembered one of the conversations you had with Draco when you were still trying to get your memories back, he was telling you how he’d rather die than be a Ministry Man like his father, and grandfather and possibly all the Malfoy men before him. Zacharia had not no such concerns. You took a mouthful of your pasta before noticing the way he was looking at you, eyes wide with a slight smile, head tilted like he was expecting something. He must have said a joked that you missed.

“Sorry!” You said, “Trying not to laugh with my mouth full!” “No worries, it’s good for a woman to have manners.”

You held back a laugh, but this time not to have ‘manners’ but to spare his feelings.

-

Draco poured cereal into his bowl as he heard the sounds of keys jingling, outside of the door. Would it be awkward for him to be in the kitchen as you came in, would it seem like it was on purpose? It was already too late for him to go running into his room, he had to act natural.

The door opened and he could hear the voice of Zacharias carrying into the flat.

“I had a great time.” Zacharias said. Merlin he even soiunded like a prat.

“Thanks.” You said awkwardly, “Me too.” Draco wondered if you meant it, but he was quickly taken away from his thoughts by the sight of Zacharias pushing you into the door and kissing you. The door, which was already open agape, swung open at Zacharias pushing your body against it and hitting the wall. Draco really wished he had taken that chance at making a run for his room.

Zacharias moved away from your completely still form at the sight of Draco. “You live with him?”

“Uh, yeah.” You said stepping away from him further.

“Whatever.” Zacharias scoffed, clearly upset by Draco’s presence. “I’ll call you.”

“What was that about.” Draco said as you went to close the door behind Zacharias.

“Oh, well we talked about our soulmates. So I explained our whole situation, I just didn’t mention that we lived together.”

“I hope that’s not a problem.” Draco said, in reality he hoped it was a problem but you didn’t need to know that. “In all honesty, I don’t really care if it is.” You said kicking your shoes off. “Good night Draco.”

“Night.” He called out after you, the urge to go on a date with Astoria was very much gone but he knew that the Owl had likely reached her by now. He was expecting a howler from Daphne any second about asking her sister out without checking with her first.

Draco groaned and poured his cereal down the drain, he had lost his appetite.

-

Draco went on his date with Astoria, and then some. And you grew to tolerate Zacharias.

Even with the both of you being involved with other people, the undeniable fact was that it was your day. Unbeknownst to both of you, you would both lay awake at night under the same roof wondering what would happen. What if you didn’t hear eachother’s voices? Draco thought that would explain why things weren’t the same, but he didn’t want to consider that. He didn’t want to replace you. Although sometimes it felt like he was, Astoria laughed a certain way or wore a certain shirt and he was reminded of how he never meant to date again. 

You were stretching, having just woken up when you felt the tug. You were stunned for a second, one of the things you had yet to remember where the tugs, you couldn’t remember a single one and here you were experiencing it again.

Draco spoke first, “How are you?”

The confirmation that was hearing his voice somehow lifted a pressure off your chest. “I’m well. What are you having for breakfast?”

“I was going to have pancakes.” He answered.

You stepped into your slippers before making your way to his room. You knocked twice.

“Come in.” He called.

You pushed the door open and stood in his doorway. “Hey soulmate.” “Hey.” He said laughing a little, although there was a ting of sadness carried in his tone.

“Mind if I join you for those pancakes.” You said.

“Not at all.” He smiled stepping out of bed. 

You were so sucked into the domesticity of it all, the way you and Draco were able to get through everything you’d gone through and still be friends that you almost missed the way he managed to look good even after just waking up, almost. 

-

You were a nervous wreck, dinner usually had away of going sideways with the 5 of you, now with the added elements of Harry, Zacharias, and Astoria you weren’t entirely sure what to expect.

It had been your idea after all, you had made an attempt at convincing Ginny that Zacharias wasn’t the complete asshole that he had been at Hogwarts to no avail. So this dinner was to try and show them that you were going out with him for more than a free meal, and to possible also convince yourself of that as well. And if you we’re being completely honest you wanted to see what Astoria’s deal was. Draco never brought her over to the flat, the same way you never let Zacharias get past the door way. But now they’d both be in your home, fantastic.

-

The doorbell rang through the house. Everyone was here except for her, the spot next to Draco and across from you was empty. Draco stood from his chair to get the door, but not before catching the anxious look on your face. 

You turned towards Zacharias pretending to be interested in whatever he was telling Ron and Harry about, you could see it on their faces that they were about disinterested as you. You wondered what exactly made you continue to date him, he was handsome, maybe that was it. Sometimes he could be funny, and he was very gentlemanly. You supposed that was enough. 

Astoria sat across from you. You knew she was a year or two below you in school but that was about all you knew about her, but she looked exactly like you imagined her to. Her dark brown hair was blown out and framed her pale face nicely, she had light blue eyes that contrasted against her dark hair and her bold red lipstick. She was from one of those old rich pureblood families like Draco and she looked the part. Seeing them sit next to each other they looked like a perfect fit for each other, the Ministry husband and the gala-planning wife. 

You noticed that everyone’s eyes were on you.

“Sorry?” You said, clearly having missed something.

“Astoria was just introducing herself to you.” Draco said, concern etched on his face.

“Right, sorry.” You said. “Lovely to meet you, truly.” She gave you a tight lipped smile as she exchanged pleasantries with the rest of the table. 

Zacharias gave you a weird look but you missed it, instead staring down at your plate. 

The small talk was going well for a few minutes. Not that you were too engaged in it, you couldn’t help but sneak looks at Astoria and Draco. You knew you had wanted him to move on from you for so long, but it’s one thing to want it and another for it to happen right before your eyes.

“So Zacharias, what have you been up to.” Harry asked Zacharias.

“Working at the Ministry, surprised you lot aren’t there too.” Zacharias said. “Working isn’t for everyone, I suppose.” You elbowed him for his brassness. 

“Well Zacharias,” Ginny said. From the way she put her fork down you nearly wanted to cower under the table. “Some of us have a War to recover from.”

Zacharias snorted. “I went through the war too, I’m perfectly fine.” “Did you though?” Hermione said under her breath.

“What was that?” 

You wanted to scream. The worst possible scenario was actively unfolding. You felt the realization wash over you, this guy was actually just a fucking asshole. 

“Everyone saw your cowardness Zacharias.” Hermione said sitting up straight and looking directly at him. “You pushed first years into danger to get yourself out of it.”

“It’s called survival skills,” Zacharias said, not backing down. “Maybe if you lot had some this table would be a little more full, yeah?”

The table went silent as Zacharias pointedly made eye contact with Ginny and Ron.

“You need to go.” You said breaking the silence, you couldn’t even look up at him from how humiliated you felt.

“What!” Zacharias said offended, “I’m just standing up for myself.”

“Get out!” You said standing up. “I’m serious Zacharias, you need to go.”

Zacharias stood up aggressively and the rest of the table except for Astoria stood too.

You walked to the door holding it open for him. “Now.”

Zacharias angerly gathered his stuff and made his way out. “Can one of you make sure he finds his way out?” You said, tears welling up as you made your way to your room followed by Hermione and Ginny.

“I’ve got this.” Draco said, motioning for Harry and Ron to stay put. 

-

“What the fuck, are you following me?” Zacharias said as Draco got into the elevator after him.

“Just making sure you find your way out.” Draco seethed.

“Well, I’m fine, thanks.”

“Yeah I think I’ll stick around until you’re out the door.” Zacharias huffed and Draco stood in the elevator arms crossed until they reached the ground floor.

When Zacharias stood outside of the apartment building, he looked back at Draco, eyes flailing. Zacharias rubbed his face in frustration before mumbling under his breath a curse mixed with your name.

“Excuse me?” Draco said grabbing him by the collar. “You’re friend’s a cunt.” Zacharias seethed, not backing down despite having Draco at his neck. 

Draco ignored the voice of a cop down the street yelling at him to let Zacharias go. Zacharias pushed Draco off of him only to be met with Draco’s fist. Zacharias pushed Draco back and made to punch him back before Draco pushed him onto the ground.

“Cut it out!” The cop yelled getting inbetween the both of them.

-

“Merlin, fuck.” Harry said watching from the window.

He knocked on your door not wanting to disturb whatever motivational speech Ginny and Hermione were giving you. “Sorry to interrupt but, I’m afraid Draco is getting arrested.”

“What?” Astoria said standing up from the table and looking out the window herself. “Merlin, Draco.”

You wiped the tears of humiliation off your face and went to go look out the window too. “They’re taking him away! Where are they taking him to.” “Where do you think,” Ron groaned. “Most likely the police station genius.”

“I don’t need this snark right now my s-” You paused. “Draco is being arrested.”

Astoria stood awkwardly next to you, not entirely sure how to react. 

“I’ll drive.” Ginny said grabbing her keys off of the counter and making her way out of the flat.

“I think I’ll go on my own.” Astoria said, forcing a smile.

“Right of course.” You said closing the door behind her.

-

Draco’s phone call was met by voicemail so he assumed that his friends were already on their way. Merlin, what was he going to say, Astoria wouldn’t find it weird that he punched Zacharias for you would she? Would you find it weird? 

The door of the police station swung open, it was you and the rest of his friends, with a lack of Astoria that went unnoticed by Draco. You rushed to the desk telling them what you were there for, you looked so concerned. Draco found it entirely endearing. The secretary went off to talk to one of the officer and your eyes scanned the room for Draco, you waved slightly when you finally saw him, he smiled at that.

-

“We’ll let you off with just a warning this time.” The officer said, you trailing not too far behind him. “You the girlfriend?” He said turning to you. You blinked staring at Draco and then at the officer.

“No, that would be me.” Astoria said coming up next to you, because she was his girlfriend. Not you. There had been no reason for you to hesitate, yet you did.

“Just keep him out of trouble Ma’am.” The officer said. “Let there not be a next time.” “There won’t be officer,” Astoria said smiling at him in a way that made the officer turn light pink. She was charming, you never considered yourself charming. 

“Do you want to ride home with us?” You asked looking back towards your friends who were waiting by the door of the station, watching curiously on this unspoken game of tug-a-war between you and Astoria.

“I think he’ll come with me.” Astoria interrupted before Draco could answer. “There’s probably not enough room in Ginny’s car.”

She grabbed Draco by the hand leading him out of the police station without stopping to say goodbye.

Draco glanced back at you with a tight lipped smile. “I’ll see you at home?”

You nodded.

-

You fell asleep waiting for Draco to come home, the sound of the door opening woke you up. You stood to talk to him.

“Why’d you hit Zacharias?” You said standing across from him. 

Draco sighed, shaking his jacket off and throwing it onto the couch. He ran a hand through his hair before answering, “Because.” He paused. “I’d do anything for you.”

Your breath catched at the look on his face as he turned to you. His eyes were dark and all of his focus was on one thing, you. He got closer to you until you could feel his breathing on your nose. 

“Draco,” You said, “Fuck.” His finger tilted your face upwards to kiss you before he pushed you closer to the sofa, he spun you and pulled you down with him until you were sitting on his lap. His mouth was on your neck but he moved his wet kisses down towards your chest, yanking on your shirt until you pulled it off over your head.

“Y/n” He called, you only hummed in response.

“Y/n.” You blinked slowly, you were on the couch but not on top of Draco. No Draco was in front of you, shaking you awake.

“Did you fall asleep waiting up for me?” He asked, brows furrowed.

Your chest heaved with each shallow breath.

“Are you okay?” He asked, taking in your appearance.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said rubbing your eyes as you sat up. “What time is it?”

“It’s 2.” He said. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d be waiting up for me.”

“No, I don’t know why I thought you were coming right home.” You said. “I should go to my room.” 

He nodded, “Good night.” You stopped in your doorway, turning to look at him. “Why’d you hit Zacharias?” “You’re my friend.” Draco said. “And he was being a prat.” “Sorry, you got arrested.” You said.

He shrugged. “No big deal.”

“Good night Draco.” You said before closing the door behind you. You didn’t give yourself time to think about your dream, or why Draco hadn’t come straight home, you collapsed onto your bed and let sleep take you. 

-

Astoria was perceptive, but she didn’t need to be to see your obvious affection for each other. You were talking to each other animatedly on the sofa, bodies fully turned towards each other, you couldn’t get enough of each other’s presence. Draco hung onto every word you said the same way your eyes were glued to his. She wasn’t the only one to notice this, she didn’t miss the excited glances that Draco’s roommates gave each other whenever they saw Draco and you acting this way. She put down the bowl she was stirring.

“Draco can you give me a hand with dinner?” She called out from the kitchen, she didn’t miss how he lingered next to you. Obviously not wanting to leave your side, and she didn’t miss the way your hand slipped off his arm, where it had previously been. She turned away from the sight, wiping angrily at the tears welling in her eyes.

“What’s up.” He said.

“Uh.” Astoria paused. “Can you finish up dinner, I’m not feeling well.” 

“Oh yeah totally.” He said. “Don’t worry about it, you were so kind for offering to make dinner for us in the first place.”

“Rain check?” Astoria asked. “Sure.” He said leading her out the door. “Want me to walk you to your car?”

“No need.” A part of Astoria thought he would notice the tone in her voice and ask her what was wrong but he didn’t, he shut the door behind her and she heard his quickly retreating steps, most likely eager to get back to you.

-

Ginny and you laid on your bed while your nail polish dried, you were reading a magazine while she stared you down.

“What do you want to say to me Ginny.” You sighed putting down the magazine. You had known Ginny long enough to pick up on her tells, not that she was discrete with them.

“It’s not what I want to say to you.” Ginny said. “It’s what you want to say to me.”

“Okay.” You paused. “What is it you want me to say.” “When we’re you going to tell me about you having a crush on Draco!” She whisper yelled. “Do you have your memories back?”

Your face burnt bright red. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Why are you lying to me right now,” Ginny said. “I’m not going to tell him.” “I don’t have my memories back.” You said laying back down and covering your face with your hands. “And maybe I do like him, but he doesn’t like me! He’s dating Astoria, plus he’s only interested in me if I have my memories.” Ginny blinked at you. “Are you fucking blind. Even Astoria can see that he likes you.” “No, he doesn’t!” You said. “I’m the one that pushed him away remember?”

Ginny groaned in frustration. “I hate you so much.”

“Why do you choose to make your life more difficult than it has to be!”

“I am not making my life more difficult.” You argued. “I’m saving myself from humiliation.”

“He is in love with you!” Ginny said, You shook her head and picked your magazine back up. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Then when will we?” Ginny said. “When he really does stop loving you because of Astoria?”

She walked out of your room slamming the door behind her.

-

Groceries in hand you dug through your pockets for the keys to the flat. You stopped in your tracks when you saw Astoria, she was standing on your doormat waiting for a response but she started walking towards you when she saw you.

“Hi, Astoria.” You said. “I don’t think Draco’s home right now.” “I’m here to talk to you, not with Draco.” She said.

“Oh.” You paused, “Let me just put this stuff away and we can talk.” 

She nodded walking into the flat and sitting down on the sofa after you opened it.

“What’s up.” You said, taking a seat next to her.

“I need you to leave Draco alone.” She said, not looking you in the eye.

“What?” You said incredulously

“He told me what happened with the two of you.” Astoria said. 

“What-” She interrupted you. “You cut it off with him. So please let him move on.” 

“Astoria, he’s my friend.” You said, “I’m not trying to seduce him or anything.”

“ I love him,” Astoria said. “Do you know how hard it is to find someone when you don’t have a soulmate? It’s impossible, but I found Draco.”

You were silent. He was never her’s to find. You weren’t dead, he would still hear your voice every year. Did she not know that? You so wanted to drag her by her perfect hair. Who was she to tell you what to do?

“So, please. Let him go.” Astoria pleaded.

“What exactly is it that you want him to do.”

“Just leave him alone.” She snapped, then regained her composure. “By stringing him along, you’re ruining his life. You’re never getting your memories back, get used to the idea.”

Your eyes unfocused out of anger. 

“Get out of my house.” You said. She looked at you and opened her mouth but quickly closed it and stormed out. You slammed the door behind her, turning on your heel towards your room. You couldn’t believe her audacity. You laid on your bed trying to compose yourself while staring up at your ceiling.

What would Draco say if you told him she had confronted you like that? Surely, he’d be on your side. 

You turned to your others side. But Astoria was right, you did turn him down. And you aren’t getting your memories back. Even if he were to start ‘liking’ you again that wouldn’t change.

-

You felt lonely, Ginny was too upset with you to talk to you and you were trying not to talk to Draco. Even though you truly hated Astoria, she was right. Your crush on Draco would only mess with both of your lives. You weren’t speaking to the two most important people in your life. You couldn’t find a reason to get out of bed, so you didn’t.

You heard soft knocks at your door. “I’m letting myself in.” Ginny said. She took in your room and tried to ignore the mess before making her way to you. “I’m so sorry if I went too far. You’re my bestfriend. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine Ginny.”

“Then what’s wrong with you.” She said. “You’re not treating yourself right.”

You stayed silent. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Y/n please.” Ginny said quietly running her fingers through your hair. “We’re so worried about you.”

“I’m fine.” You said turning away from her.

“Is this about Draco?” GInny said, she had only seen you like this once before.

You couldn’t help the way the sobs racked your body. “Merlin, I just love him so much.”  

“Oh sweetheart.” She climbed into bed with you, hugging you tight as you cried. 

“I just don’t want to keep hurting him.”

“I know.” Ginny said pressing kisses to your forehead. “But do you honestly think Draco would be anything but happy to hear you love him?”

“I don’t want to risk it.”

“Just fucking being in the same space as him makes me happy,” You said. “I don’t want to make him want to leave.”

“Haven’t you seen how close him and Ron are?” Ginny said. “He could hate you and he’d put that aside to live with his bestie.”

You laughed at that,

“You’re my best friend.”

“I know.”

“I love you Ginny.” “I love you too.” She said. “So please get yourself together and go get your man.”

-

It took you three days to work up the nerve to talk to him. 

You stared at yourself in the mirror, your makeup was done but not to the point it would be too obvious, and your hair looked slightly cuter than usual. 

“Get yourself together.” You told yourself, you stood up from your vanity with determination.

A knock sounded through your room, it was probably Ginny asking you when you were planning on making the move.

“I’m coming.” You groaned. You swung your door open expecting Ginny but were met with Draco.

“Draco.” You said curtly, “Sorry, I thought you were Ginny.”

“Are you going somewhere?” He asked,

“What?”

“You did your makeup, and your hair.”

There goes being subtle.

“Oh- uh-no.” You said.

He nodded, stuffing his hands into his pockets. You would’ve picked up on his weird behavior if it wasn’t for your nerves.

He opened his mouth to say something but you quickly interjected. “I need to tell you something.”

He opened his mouth again but you interrupted. “Sorry no interruptions, I need to get this out or I’m never going to say it.”

You sighed and he watched you curiously not saying a word. “I love you.” You said. “And no I don’t have my memories back, and I don’t know if they’re ever going to come back.” You choke back tears and Draco hasn’t moved an inch. You so desperately hoped he’d shut you up by telling you he loved you but you continued. “And I don’t need them to come back, because I’ve met you again. I’ve fallen in love with you again, and I know you have Astoria, I know that. But I feel like you should know that I love you because what’s more soulmatey than me falling in love with you twice.” You bit your lip, not looking him in the face as you took a deep breath before continuing. “I’m you’re soulmate Draco, I know it in my heart. I know that sounds so incredibly cheesy but I do, I see you and I can’t breathe because I love you so much. Every moment I’m not with you I’m thinking about you. I don’t need my memories to know that my feelings for you haven’t changed.”

There was a quiet pause. “You can talk now.” You said.

“I broke up with Astoria.” He said.

 “When?”

 “Just now, I just came from seeing her.” 

“Why?”

 “Because Y/n. I love you too. I never needed you to get your memories back. You’re not the same person I first fell in love with but it doesn’t fucking matter because I’m still irrevocably in love with you y/n. I never fucking stopped.” 

Your heart nearly exploded. You were frozen for a second, but only for a second. You were overcome with the urge to touch him. You all but launched yourself at him which he eagerly accepted. His lips caught yours and his hands went to your waist pulling your body to his. You had unwillingly caught Draco and Astoria kissing a few times, and everytime you couldn’t help but get angry. You had felt a possesiveness, he wasn’t hers for her to be touching like that. You let that feeling control you. Things were how they were supposed to be now. Your hands went to his chest and you couldn’t help but pull at his collar. You wanted it off, you wanted to feel his skin on yours. His kisses moved down to your neck, too focused on you.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this for.” You said lustfully.

He laughed, stopping the kisses. He took your face in his hands, smirking at you. “You have no idea.” His eyes were dark and his voice was low and raspy. You could fuck him right there in the hallway.

“Let’s take this inside, yeah?” You whispered in his ear. Pulling him into your room behind you

-

“I don’t get why you need to move out.” Ginny groaned as you pushed another box out of your room.

“I’m sorry Ginny, I promise you it wasn’t an easy decision to make.” You said.

“Is Draco forcing you to move? You know just because you’re back together doesn’t mean he’s the boss of you.”

“I know that Ginny, it was a mutual decision.” You said putting down the box to look at her. You loved living with your friends you really did, and you loved seeing how much they loved Draco. Although they would deny it entirely, by your friends living alongside of you they were nursing you back to health. You wouldn’t have made it without them, and now you were better. You wanted to prove to yourself that you would be okay without them as your crutch. Besides you knew that you would see them almost everyday anyways. Not that you would be completely independent, you would have Draco. 

You were finally where your life was supposed to be.

“We’ll still talk everyday.” You reassured her, pulling her into a hug.

“Treat her right Draco.” Ginny said. “Or you’ll have to deal with me.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” 

-

You bound up, sitting up in your bed. You had an unsettling dream, but it wasn’t a bad one in fact it was a pretty happy dream. Draco was there, but he was significantly younger and you two were arguing but you could tell neither of you meant what you were saying, and you were in Hogwarts and remembering Hogwarts had began to stop hurting.

It was a nice dream. Your grogginess immediately went away and you shook Draco awake.

“What’s the matter, what’s wrong.” Draco said pushing himself up to look at your face.

He just saw you staring at him with a big grin and tears streaming down your face.

“Y/n, what happened are you okay?”

“Draco,” You said choking on your sobs and throwing yourself at him.

He was still taking in what was happening when it seemed to click. He held you tight. “You have your memories back.” You didn’t say a word just feverishly nodding as you pressed yourself closer to him. 

“I’m so sorry for everything you had to go through.” You said pressing a kiss to his cheek. He nodded and began to cry too. 

“I’d go through it all again a million times over if it’s what it took to be with you.”

[grison-in-space]

You know, we tend to think about play centered around the boundaries and interactions of power dynamics as a kink thing, but I think that's a bit short-sighted. Perhaps it's that I have mostly taught adults—which imposes a distinct but limited power dynamic on the working relationship—but I find I use play constantly to help frustrated or shy students relax, especially when relaxing about the possibility that I am particularly upset, impatient, or judgemental about their temporary struggle. Lots of smiling, careful observation of body language—if they stiffen further they're not necessarily parsing that it's play and I need to change tactics. I often make an explicit statement like "oh no, the horror, you're learning," smile as warmly as I can project, validate the frustration and point to any clear progress I see, and then ask questions about the place where they're struggling.

Trying to use cuts more to spare dashes, but the more I think about it, the more I keep coming up with examples of boundary/hierarchy play in cases of strong working relationships between established dynamics. It's not something I only engage in from top down, either: I also offer play gestures around boundaries to people who are supervising me, if and only if I otherwise like and trust them enough to do so.

Often students will engage in mock boundary pushing at "boundaries" that they have observed that I don't give a shit about, like the time one of my students was asked to explain why his DNA signature was "found" on a broken pipette in genetics class (implied: he was being charged with breaking it as part of an exercise in interpreting DNA fingerprinting data) and he submitted a two page legal brief with fully referenced case law mock accusing the class of stealing his genetic material without a warrant. (I was delighted. I often think fondly of that student, who had been enlisted military and clearly enjoyed play mocking the "brass," but was also absolutely respectful and engaged when it actually mattered.)

I see that with my dogs, too. For example, yesterday I observed Tribble catch my eye, start briefly digging in the garden—a behavior I pointedly discourage and have for most of her life—wiggle, and then take off to race around the yard while I stomped after her and pretended to be mad until she bounced up to the door and requested to come inside. (She was almost certainly getting cold.)

It's always risky to make inferences about animal signals and especially intentionality without good falsifiable hypotheses about what is being intentionally conveyed and unpacked, so just to be specific: she wiggled using very loose body language of the kind that we usually use when playing as we made eye contact, dug until I made an exaggerated outrage face and took a step towards her, and sprinted away to zoom around the yard in a way that a nearly thirteen year old dog generally does not do unless she has a strong, motivated point to make. I was also using exaggerated play versions of outrage: mock stomping my feet with big steps with no stiffness, waving my head from side to side in a gesture I make when playing with animals, a very offended high pitched "oh!" noise I don't make when I'm actually annoyed. Play around mock offense over a mock transgressed boundary, taking delight in each other's attention.

And I mean, she and I have known each other for almost twelve years. This is the dog I accidentally trained using only my idiosyncratic body language for cues; she never bothered to listen for vocal cues until Tay tried to ask her for things with slightly different hand signals and she was bewildered. We're both pretty good at reading each other at this point.

I just think there is a strong tendency to carve out hierarchy and boundaries as Very Serious Business all the time, especially when we are thinking about ethical power dynamics. But it's not always, not even close: ethical play across boundaries should be consensual and bidirectional (even if the social hierarchy isn't entirely consensual, as with parent/child or dog/handler relationships), and if it's not it should cease. We've all seen the mortification of bosses who attempt play with subordinates who are Not Enjoying Themselves, right? You've all seen The Office?

I'm just enjoying thinking about boundaries and hierarchies in this way this morning. We (by virtue of the fact that you're interacting with me on the Anglophone Internet, anyway) live in a culture that finds hierarchy and explicitly acknowledged power dynamics really distasteful and uncomfortable, but those dynamics are still real and they absolutely exist. As someone who has some distinct scars from people who had power over me but wanted to pretend that we were peers when that was convenient, I think there's something valuable about acknowledging how much play can be held in a healthy, solid nonsexual relationship that still has power dynamics and firm boundaries.

[komitomi]

Fateful Encounter. // Chapter i.

Neteyam x F!reader

prologue || chapter ii || chapter iii || chapter iv || chapter v English will be in italics from this chapter onwards! word count: 2.8k

A/N: neteyam is refered to as blue boy or just boy when he is directly interacting with the reader, however he will be refered by his name when he's not, writing in this narration is kind of difficult so it's confusing but I'll try my best to clear them up in authors notes.

After 3 months of training on Pandora, Aria decided that you were good enough to be sent out, she told you that you had to go further than your peers, towards the sun's direction, where there will be water Na'vi, and look for Jake sully there, if he isn't there, then you should form good connections with the people there.

Individual but small aircrafts have been built for you guys to travel in, you were expecting to be assigned a partner but since the number of avatars were odd you were left out to be the only one, but that didn't discourage you, you just felt alone that's all.

The aircraft was spacious, easy to control (you have received training for this too), and it didn't emit any sounds to which you were surprised with, apparently the engine was made from a material native to pandora which cancels noise, they did this so the loud sounds of engine turning doesn't scare the animals or the Na'vi.

You just packed all your stuff and threw it in your aircraft which was parked outside before heading on inside the lab, removing your oxygen mask and going towards the link units, you looked at Aria before questioning.

“Won't I be too far away from my host body? Will I still be able to move?” you ask and she immediately answers “Yes, there will only be delay in consciousness transfer, what takes 15 seconds might turn into a minute or two, however you'll be just fine considering eywa connects all things together, which means you will be able to move just as fine.” she finishes off making you nod.

One thing that you noticed was how the scientists here actually believe in the existence of eywa and acknowledge it, you thought it was just another religion like back on earth, but for the last 3 months you trained here, you saw extensive research and connection between the life of pandora, it seemed like a neural network of roots which connected all beings together, it was like a system, actual proof of an entity made you quickly change your views as well. You snapped out of your thoughts and quickly got into the link unit.

You open your eyes in the avatar body and got up, you were inside a camp, you look around and see few others waking up too, the sound of the gates opening takes your attention before you making your way to your own aircraft, it was perfectly sized for a singular avatar body to travel, it was more spacious for humans though. You get inside quickly wasting no time, you notice Miss Aria looking at you and you smile at her which she returns, you start the engine and the aircraft lifts itself off the ground, swirling the surrounding air, once you are decently far away in the sky you look down at the scientist camp before breathing deeply, “I got this.” you mutter to yourself before pressing the accelerator and setting off.

You were told to follow the sun's direction to which you obeyed and did, and after a few hours of travelling the sun started disappearing behind the big planet, you panicked until you realised you were probably close to the water civilization, after 30 minutes the sun had set completely, your aircraft turned on its automatic camouflage mode, hiding in the dark sky, you looked down and saw hundreds of islands and noticed few dim lights coming from what looked like camps on at the edge of an island.

Bingo, it seems you have reached the water Na'vi area, as you heard from others, they live on water, building tents around the flow of it rather than living on the land, you noticed how the tents are on water but they have been tied to those strong root-looking branches stabilizing them. “if I land now at night they will definitely panic and start attacking.” you mutter to yourself, you caught the forest behind the island and decided you were going to land there and show yourself in the morning when the sun is up again.

You thought you landed safely unnoticed, but a certain person had noticed your aircraft from afar and decided to follow it, even though the camouflage made it difficult for him to spot the random stars disappearing and reappearing behind your space ship made it easier for him to follow. He didn't want to alert the other navi cause it looked like there would be no more than 4 people, he can take them on easily, he took his bow ready to go but was stopped by his father, Jake.

“Where are you going son?” he asked looking at his son holding a bow, neteyam didn't want to cause panic so he simply lied “Oh, it's just nothing, I was missing the forest way of living and wanted to check the forest behind this island.” he said and Jake simply nodded, “Don't cause any trouble alright?” he said and neteyam nodded before answering “Yes sir.” He then proceeded to make his way into the forest, he had lost track of you but luckily for him you were stupid enough to make a loud thump noise.

Noise travels further at eclipse than it does during the daytime, and with his heightened senses he was able to pinpoint where you exactly were, he was currently standing on a branch of tree, above you, studying you, it seemed that it was only you alone, he didn't knew RDA would be this stupid, mentally scoffing, he lined up his arrow and bow and aimed it to shoot towards you.

You were out of the aircraft looking around and taking in the scenery, you jumping down from it was what caused neteyam to follow your noise, but other than that, you were pretty careful with your step, trying to not make much noise, neteyam watched as you walked around, changing his aim to perfectly aim at your fatal point, when you finally stopped moving he took that as an opportunity and was about to release the arrow.

That was until an atokirina (woodsprite) rested on his arrow, he was shocked was an understatement, he had no idea where it even came from, their habitat was originally in dense forests, but what was it doing in a lesser dense forest behind the reefs? Heck, this was unknown and completely new.

He lowered his bow, taking his aim away from you and watched as the seed left the arrow it was resting on and towards your direction, he watched closely, the seed was floating around you, and when you noticed it, you immediately smiled, his heart fluttered at the sight, you knew what they were, they were seeds of the spirit tree, you encountered a few back in the forest you were training in but were confused to see one here, you quickly opened your hands so it can rest there.

“Hello there, it's surprising to see you here.” you spoke to it in Na'vi, he was surprised you knew how to speak it, of course RDA did train their troops to speak Na'vi to "communicate" with them. “What are you doing here? did you follow me? this isn't a usual habitat for you guys you know.” you spoke, he was so shocked at how you were speaking so casually, do you not know what they are? they carry eywa's energy in them and they are usually interpreted as a good sign, he notices how the seed dances around in your hands before you blow it away.

Neteyam decides to stop hiding himself and jumps down from the tree he was standing on, this causes a loud thud sound making you shriek as you turn to face the blue boy, he quickly rushes over to you and covers you mouth with his hand, “you shouldnt be here” he says with a hiss, and you gulp, scared by his demeanor, your heart was beating rapidly, that noise scared the hell out of you, you thought you were dead for sure.

“m-mmph—” you try to speak but you can't because his hand was covering your mouth, he notices and retreats his hand back, you pant, trying to calm your heartbeat and breathe normally, when you finally regain your composure you look at him, his face holding a stoic expression.

“You're out here alone eh? RDA must be stupid.” he scoffs at the end, “I- i am not from RDA” you say while maintaining eye-contact with him, he looks at you confused, you take a deep breathe before explaining. “I do not work for the RDA or anything associated with it, I work for another organization called Space and Earth Resources Organization, SERO, for short,” you take a break to look at his reaction, he doesn't seem to show any kind of emotion though, just looking at you bored, before you could speak he cuts you off. “You still belong to the sky demons.” he says with a scowl, “Ouch.” you say out loud, hurt by the word demon.

“Listen, we're here to prevent RDA from destroying this planet, we are trying out very best to make RDA drop their Pandora project back on Earth, we care, which is why we established a seperate organization, to help pandora, help the life here.” you finish what you were trying to say earlier.

“Don't make me laugh, that's actually so pathetic and entitled how you sky people decide when to play a hero or the villain, we do not need your help.” he says before turning around to leave when you stop him, “Please, the planet is in danger.” you say in a desperate voice, you grabbing his arm, he turned to look at you, your sad face.

“Ugh.” he lets out a huff before glaring at you, you look up to him, “fine, come then.” he says and grabs you by your arm and starts dragging you but you start resisting and pull away, “no! I can't, it is eclipse, it will cause panic, later at daytime I will appear.” you say, you were right, although he hates to admit it, he scoffs at you and just shrugs his shoulder.

“Fine, stay here.” he says and leaves before you could say anything, confused by this encounter you make your way back to your aircraft and get inside, you open a medium sized box which was given to you by your dad before you left to Pandora, you open it and look at the contents inside it, some polaroid pictures and your deceased mom's necklace, you quickly take the necklace and tie it around your neck, the pendant falls right between your collarbones, you take the polaroids out and graze your fingers over them, the family pictures bring a smile to your face.

You slowly drift off to sleep in your avatar body, tired from the journey, but you wake up in your human body, it took longer than it usually does since the body was far away from your location, you push the lid away and get down, noticing that you were the last one to wake up.

“Did you finally reach your location?” you hear someone ask and you turn around to see Miss Aria and you simply nod, “I didn't seek out to the people yet since it is dark, didn't want them to start panicking.” you say and Aria gives you a gentle smile “Good decision.” she says.

“Come let's go eat.” she says and you smile before following her, you have to keep this body energized for you to stay longer in your avatar, you follow Aria to the dining hall located in the camp, after getting your food, you sit down to eat.

Unbeknownst to you, your avatar body was slowly being surrounded by reef forest predators, luckily you were in your aircraft which acted as a shield for you and you were safe, however one launched suddenly making the glass crack but not break.

Neteyam watched down from the tree, he never left, he just pretended to, he was actually worried for you, he wasn't sure why he was saving you either, in fact he was really annoyed.

He could just let you die, let the reef forest predators eat your avatar body and you will die but the words you told him earlier sounded promising, he hated the sky people, the only ones he tolerated were the ones who stayed behind after the first war, he wasn't particularly close with them, just on neutral terms, but still he wasn't sure why he was helping you.

Could you really help them? Is your organization really different from RDA? Or will you turn out the same and kill his people? All types of questions flooded his brain, he was too occupied with his thoughts until he heard a muffled scream and looked down, it seemed you had woken up finally realised the danger you were in.

You didn't really expect to wake up in a life threatening situation, you got jump-scared by the predator launching at you as soon as you opened your eyes in your avatar body.

You let out a scream of course, because honestly, no matter how rational of a person you are, being scared like that will rip one out but you were able to muffle it with your hand, suddenly you see an arrow hit the predator, which causes the other predators to panic, shriek and growl, until you see another arrow flying in, hitting another one, you see the blue guy from earlier jump in and growl at them, the predators realised they were powerless and scurried off in different directions, you open the aircraft and made your way down carefully.

You looked at the animals that were shot before noticing how he was chanting something, you figured out he was apologizing and asking them to rest in peace, you go up to him and clear your throat, making him turn to look at you,

“Uh thank you so—” before you can finish off thanking him he growls “This is nothing to be thankful about, it is sad, very sad, you are stupid, so stupid, poor souls had to die.” he looks down on the predator before taking it's life to end the misery.

“I am sorry, I didn't know.” you say and look down, feeling guilty but he just stares at you, “you should be, you're stupid and ignorant, like a child!” he hisses, this makes you frown, you watch him get up and make his way to the other one, “well then why did you save me? should've just let me die, the glass would've broken and they could've had a feast.” you ask annoyed, he stops midway and turns to look at you. He stares at you for a while before letting out a sigh, “Why did I save you?” he repeats your question, you nod and he gets lost in his thought process before looking up at you again.

“Because, you have a kind heart.” he says, taking you by surprise, “a kind heart?” you ask and he nods, “Yes, a kind and strong heart, wanting to care for others, like you said earlier.” he finishes off.

Before you could say anything you hear rustling around you and you notice that the people from the village had come, having heard the commotion earlier, the sun finally starts showing again, basking everything in light once again, you notice how the people here are different, they have more greenish skin and blueish eyes, they surround you and the blue boy you were with. Until you notice another blue person standing out from the rest, your heart starts beating frantically, it was jake sully, so he was here? what are you going to do now?

“What is the meaning of this?” you hear jake sully speak, and shivers run down your spine, god you were intimidated by the aura of him and the people, before you can speak the blue boy cuts you off, “Dad, I can explain.” he says you were shocked, 'dad'? he is the son of jake sully?

“You better, boy.” he says with a stern voice you watch as you watch the younger boy keep his head down, he lifts it up before looking at you and takes a deep breath.

“There has been a sign.” that's all he said before jake understood what he meant, “And what exactly was the sign?” he asks, raising his eyebrow.

“An utokirina (woodsprite).” he says making jake confused, “But their habitat is in dense forests.” he says and the boy nods, “That is what was confusing, it landed on my arrow before I was about to shoot it at her, and then floated towards her, I would never lie about this.” he says, jake is taken aback by that revelation.

You were shocked on the other hand, ‘‘he was trying to kill me? what the hell’ you have never been more thankful for that woodsprite, it legit saved you from death, otherwise you would've ended up with an arrow to your heart.

“I see.” you hear another voice say, you turn to look at him, he was much bigger with tattoos covering him.

“Take her to the tsahik.”

TAGLIST ;

@violet-19999 @siriuslysmoking @sweetirilly @neteyamforlife @boilingpots !!!

[growingnerves]

I saw the teaser and it got me thinking…

It’s not some mysterious happenstance that lead to Melissa McBride appearing on our screens again. She’s still around in TWDU because she is responsible for so many of the most iconic, rewatchable and deeply engaging moments and that isn’t easily forgotten among fans. We will always want her here so we can continue the story with Caryl as a united pair. And much as I share in the enthusiasm over how powerful her presence is, that alone isn’t enough! The quality of their story together still matters to us. The generic “thrills” aren’t working. I’m sure Melissa wants quality material to dive into as much as the fans do. She considers us in a way that others working on this spin-off will not. However, the fans will always be an objectively important aspect to the show’s ongoing success or failure. After all, who’s going to be watching?

It can be hard to believe our voices are being heard after countless disappointments, cruel shipbaity manipulations and needless retconning; it has often felt like we haven’t been valued. But the more we speak up about our expectations, the greater chance we have of getting them met. I don’t want past missteps to discourage us to the point of accepting something merely “inoffensive.” Let’s think of what this spin-off could be!

Nothing in those promos is engaging me on a meaningful level and this far along into a story, that shouldn’t be a difficult task. We need to see major changes going forward, especially with the writing. The title alone is unacceptable, and even if I could accept it (which I can’t!), “acceptable” isn’t enough. Once whatever future we get for Carol and Daryl is on our screens, it can’t be undone. Once it’s been decided, we will have to live with it forever. So now is the time to have the highest of expectations and demands. Nothing is set in stone yet! Now is a better time than any to pour our energy into advocating for what we want to see. I’d rather be criticizing the show now rather than once it’s been irreversibly ruined by the current showrunner (Zabel). We know we are going to see Caryl together again, that is our only guarantee atp. Which version of the spin-off we get, could still change, especially going into S3! We don’t have to settle for a lesser version of what should be OUR show.

Our dedication should be rewarded with something to look forward to, not something that causes dread. The dread of further disappointment is what drove viewers away. It burned me out to the point I never finished watching S11 of TWD. I didn’t tune in for the initial season of the spin-off because omitting Carol was the most nonsense decision imaginable. The only thing that would make me consider returning is a storyline worth my time. Because boy do I get invested when I give a damn. Imagine getting a story with actual stakes and payoff. Something a little more captivating than watching two friends suffering through seasons more of the apocalypse.

The purpose of reuniting these two is to profit on their unmatched bond and chemistry. They are capable of anything when they are together and taking their relationship to the next level would open up so many new possibilities storywise. Give us something fresh tonally. Let the relationship develop naturally into something romantic as it always should have been. That’s what’s going to get people talking and clamoring for more. That’s what’s going to get word to reach those who left. Seeing a middle aged couple headlining a series is groundbreaking tv and that representation alone could bring in loads of new eyes and reinvigorate online discussion.

What show are they trying to sell me based on the brief window into S2 with tonight’s promos? Caryl’s relationship isn’t the centerpiece here. What I saw was an attempt to catch my attention with repetitive action sequences. There’s nothing original about shootouts and car crashes and distractingly bad looking CGI blood and verbal cliches. Carol interacted with Daryl’s props? That’s the best you can give me? The unique draw this show has, that makes the appeal one of a kind, is Carol and Daryl played by Melissa and Norman. That’s an absolute narrative goldmine and something no other show on tv can claim. I’m echoing so many other fans when I say this. We are able to see the potential for greatness. An emotionally intimate slow burn relationship built over many years will always have within it a vast, complex narrative to explore that new characters cannot bring to the table. AMC has a rare gift in their hands. Continued success of the franchise hinges on the network making the right call when it comes to this duo. That’s where the attention should go. That’s the tease I was looking for tonight. That’s the upcoming payoff that would win back my trust and viewership. I want to see something I can feel passionate about again. We understand these characters aren’t learning to navigate the world without each other. They are fighting to stay alive so that they can be together again and realize their relationship in a way that is new. Caryl’s history runs deep and they couldn’t give us a single emotional beat to grasp onto in the promo- that’s how I’m feeling right now.

Side note cause I can’t help myself but I know I’m not the only one who noticed that Melissa McBride is a total smokeshow in that teaser. It’s not an obscure observation by any means haha. She looked goddamn amazing and badass and well, fucking hot 🥵 It is an undeniable privilege to see this woman on our screens again.

[sunbeargames]

I know I'm not the first to do this, but I was inspired by the rules for jumping in Baldur's Gate 3, so I wrote up some adjustments for the rules for jumping in 5e, as well as some changes to the way falling prone when landing after a jump or fall works.

Jumping as a bonus action and having a flat movement cost does wonders for mobility, and provides a lot more value to Strength, which is one of the less valuable stats in 5e.

The fact that most characters will always be knocked prone by falling more than 10 feet always bothered me. It discourages vertical battlemaps and vertical movement in general, since coming down can be so dangerous. Having a check with a DC determined by the damage seems much more natural, and this again benefits classes like the barbarian that can lessen the fall damage.

Still tinkering with parts of these rules, like maybe the Acrobatics check should be a regular Dex check or a Dex save. It's Acrobatics for now because that's what 5e uses when you jump into an area of difficult terrain. Also, 5e makes vertical jumps much shorter than horizontal ones, but these rules don't, its just movement in any direction that can propel you upward. Obviously that isn't very close to how actual jumping works, but I'd be curious to see how this works out. Could definitely say that jump distance is halved or whatever when jumping upwards.

This also doesn't include rules for things like jumping over an obstacle, which is one of the trickier things to make rules for since it involves movement through a 3D space which most of the rules don't interact with much. Again, I'm going to try it at my table and see what works.

[galaxywarp]

I'm thinking about getting a cat. Do you have any tips for first time pet owners?

Patience. Especially with cats. Cats do everything at their own pace, and they tend to adjust slowly to change. New homes/environments are stressful and they might hide for a few days and then need to spend a few more days cautiously slinking around on their bellies sniffing every inch of the place.

They will find places to hide where you’re sure you’ve lost them. I found Lulu in my ceiling one time. It’s fine. They will get down when they want to.

This is less of a concern if you get a fresh little kitten, who will more likely be demanding your attention and love 24/7. Older cats are usually more set in their ways but don’t be discouraged. they just need time and love and patience.

If you do get a kitten I encourage you to start training them early that hands are for loving, not playing. May seem minor when they’re small and cute but if you teach them that your hand is a toy, one that they can bite and scratch and wrestle with, you’ll regret it. Redirect their play energy to actual toys and don’t encourage them to attack hands. Soft hands. Gentle hands. Pets only. Paws not claws.

Speaking of, getting them used to getting their claws trimmed early on will have huge payoff later. Those claws get SHARP!

If your cat doesn’t like being picked up you can slowly build their tolerance for it by picking them up calm and gentle, and letting them down as soon as they start to fuss. Teach them that they are in control of the interaction — that they aren’t being forced against their will, and they can leave when they want. Gradually they should get better and better at being held if only for short periods of time. Very useful for when you may need to put them in a carrier at some point.

Speaking of carriers, if you can, let them use theirs outside of it just being for vet visits. Because then they see the carrier come out and run because they know it means bad things. Leave it out somewhere with a soft blanket inside and they can nap in it or play in it and then they won’t be scared of it

Have fun 💖

[peachypede]

Hi all.

I haven't been happy lately. I've been thinking a lot about why. Had a little meditation on it this morning. I think my brain is too busy. I've decided to take a break from Tumblr for a week. Possibly more if I feel like it.

I'm deleting Tumblr off my phone for now. Mutuals can still message on Discord. I'm a sahm, I'll go crazy with zero human interaction other than children lol. (If you're a mutual who doesnt have my Discord and you want it, feel free to DM to ask for it. I got notifs on for Dms on Tumblr on my tablet only)

...

There's this constant pressure, almost need? To churn out as much "content" as possible or be buried in the past. Idk if it's just me not being able to do art normally? I used to draw for myself. I used to be self-indulgent. I used to be fine with only my closest online friends seeing my art. I don't know what changed. It makes me feel ill that ive begun seeing my art as "content" that others "consume". I wanna make my art for me again.

I stayed up till 11 pm last night despite having to wake up at any time to feed the baby. Idk why I did it? Maybe I need a med change? Meh.

I've also just been discouraged. I've seen a lot of posts filled with hate lately and I feel like it's infecting me with hatred too. I'm angrier lately and I hate it. (Is there a way to turn off the "for you" page?? Cause all it gives me is bad takes lol.)

I think I need time to be me? To draw art without feeling like I should post it right away. Also it'd be nice to make art without thinking: "what will get the most notes?" I've wanted to do a project with my ocs for months now but I kinda have been putting it off in order to make stuff I think people would like more...like Submas stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love our submas boys and I'm still gonna draw stuff with them but they're not the thing I'm most passionate about now.

So I'm gonna go explore that stuff now with zero social media influence :)

See ya later. ❤️

[qweerhet]

also my answer to the "minors writing smut" disk horse has always been the same since i was myself a minor writing smut; if i have these thoughts, verbatim, it literally changes nothing whether i write them down or just think them in my head. there is no measurable harm done by a 16-year-old writing down their sexual fantasies any more than them just thinking the damn things to begin with. there's a larger and more nuanced discussion to be had about when and how it's advisable to share that writing, if there are peer spaces where that's acceptable art to share, whether or not you should disclose your age on an anonymous fiction hosting platform, the idea that reading a piece of writing is an "interaction" with the author and ways that thinking can be discouraged or encouraged, etc, but the idea that just the act itself of transferring a thing you were already thinking about to the page is inherently more harmful than just Thinking The Thing is laughable.

[ask-derrickman]

Rain saw my colleagues doing this and would not let up until I did as well, I'm already starting to regret it...

ooc: [Inbox is currently open]

[More info under the read more yes]

--- --- --- --- ---

(YEAAHG ASK BLOG TIME seeing all the ttcc manager blogs around lately slowly pushed me into trying it out myself since I hadn't seen one with my beloved boy yet, taskline manager enjoyers rise up)

(And of course now for the obligatory forewards and rules I gotta bring up:

- Not technically a 100% canon-compliant Derrick Man (well... as much as you even can with him), the one on this blog is actually based on a still nameless AU I've thrown together, he's not very drastically changed as a person though hes still grumpy and boring and full of oil but its enough to mention probably (he may mention things in passing sometimes too if the topic comes up)

- On the topic of that too, shipping between William and Rain and William and Chip will probably come up occasionally, im normal im normal guys im normal

- Headcanons galore, well- I mean as is a given for a character with so little official content to be fair, i don't wanna ruin the fun by listing everything though (also because we'd be here all day)

- This blog claims no direct affiliation with any other character's askblogs, or any other blogs in general for that matter aside from my main, all characters depicted in my doodles as well are my own spins on them and unrelated to any other askblogs too (please feel free to keep sending me jokes from other askblogs though like the spayed bellringer thing i think its funny as fuck) ((this is not to discourage anyone elses blogs from interacting though I'm just noting this so its at their own discretion))

- Please behave in the inbox, I will not answer any asks that are very blatantly explicit or anything, this blog is technically being run by a minor keep in mind, also this is a toontown blog so like... idk what you're expecting from me to begin with dude

- Speaking of me, feel free to bully William i love that but I'd appreciate if you... try to go easy on the me behind this, im the only person running this blog and im disabled with a busy irl life so updates will be slow, I'm just having some fun with my blorpos here

- Not every ask is going to have a drawing alongside it too by the way, I dont quite have the stamina for that, and sometimes the inspiration doesn't strike, my apologies

That should be all unless i think of something else to add here, YEHEA! go crazy sorry that this is so long by the way thats my bad)

[pascaloverx]

As It Was (S2)

Chapter Thirteen

previous chapter next chapter

Author's note: Dear readers, I will be writing this fanfic again. This second season will have shorter chapters and it will probably take me a little longer to update the fanfic but I hope you like it!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS STORY, there may be adult content and verbal and physical violence.

The day of my wedding with Bucky arrived faster than I had anticipated. The reality is that James Buchanan Barnes is both the only one not involved in the wedding and the groom. I simply couldn't get that stubborn head to change his mind. Okay, I didn't even try to get him to change his mind. Every new day in your life is another terrifying day in your head, not knowing if Killian or Steve will show up and end you or someone you love. So, this fake wedding is my last chance to end this nightmare. If Barnes doesn't see it that way, too bad for him.

"You look magnificent in that dress, Melisa. I'm sure Barnes would be the luckiest man in the universe if you two were really getting married. But my best friend is as much of an idiot as he is handsome, you know." Sam says, entering the bride's room that was specially prepared for me to get ready. To be poetic, I rented the hall where they killed my father and almost killed me. Here, they have a special wedding banquet hall. And it's a place I already know.

"Thank you, Sam, for the compliment and for being here. I can't believe this day has finally come, and that I may have spent money and time on something that will go wrong." I say breathlessly, thinking about the possibility of setting up an obvious trap and not being able to capture the criminals.

"Actually, that's exactly what I came to talk to you about. Yelena was talking to some of her contacts, and it seems Steve was seen around here yesterday. Dave is checking nearby cameras to confirm. But don't get discouraged just yet. This whole team is here to support you, even though it may seem dangerous. We won't let any of them hurt you." Sam says, hugging me gently. I'm relieved to know they're here with me. Whatever happens, we'll face it together.

"This time I'm prepared too. So, let's put the plan into action. The guests should already be in their places, waiting for the groom to arrive. The music for the bride's entrance will play in a few minutes. I'll walk in with Wanda as if everything is fine, and you guys put on a show pretending that Bucky is missing. I'll create a scene, cancel the wedding, and ask everyone to leave. It'll be the perfect moment for them to attack me. The rest is up to you guys." This plan was designed with every detail in mind. There are more cameras in this building than there were before; Dave is taking care of surveillance, Sam and Yelena are handling defense in case of a surprise attack, and Wanda will be nearby in case I need help if something goes wrong. Everything is carefully planned.

"Then I'll go there in case you need anything; remember, you have an earpiece. Just say 'red' in any way possible, and we'll come to your rescue. Good luck, bride." Sam touches my arm lightly and leaves, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I look at myself in the mirror, analyzing the wedding dress I'm repurposing. It's the same one from my first wedding, just adjusted. I thought this time a veil would be more of a hindrance than a help, and a long train would be an obstacle.I hear a noise behind me, almost like a step, and automatically grab the gun hidden on the vanity where I did my makeup. I point the gun at whoever is behind me not even five seconds after hearing the noise. Of course, I could have died because five seconds is a good amount of time for someone to kill another person. If I hadn't been distracted, I would have noticed someone entering this bridal room and known it was my ex-husband, the idiot.

"Great attack plan, but I suggest aiming the gun at the head next time. It would also be good not to get distracted, but your reflex was quick. By the way, you look beautiful. I like the changes to the dress." James Barnes says, smiling shamelessly at me. I'm torn between anger and surprise. What does he want here?

"Barnes, I don't remember inviting you in or asking you to be here in general. Before you ruin my plan, go away, and take that smug smile with you." I say, trying to sound serious. I lower the gun and turn around, ignoring the fact that Bucky hasn't budged despite my request for him to leave.

"Funny. I don't recall proposing to you or accepting one from you. Yet, everyone in this building came to see you and me getting married. I hope you liked the outfit of your future husband. I'm wearing the suit you gave me on our first anniversary." He looks handsome, but I don't want to give in. I wanted him by my side, and he abandoned me. Now that I made a plan without him, he shows up here. Son of a...

"Barnes, save my time. What do you want?" I don't have much patience on a regular day, let alone when I'm about to be bait to capture not one but two dangerous men.

"I want to marry you. I want to be by your side while you do the stupidest thing ever seen in the world, and most importantly, I want to apologize for being an idiot. I realized too late that loving you means accepting your plans that will undoubtedly cause unimaginable havoc." He speaks, getting closer and closer to me. Then he holds my waist firmly, looks into my eyes, and kisses me. It's a kiss full of passion and at the same time, longing. Truth be told, I missed him, and well... he certainly missed me too.

"I can offer you a second honeymoon filled with reconciliation sex, what do you say?" Barnes says in a playful tone, and I lightly smack his arm.

"Try not to ruin the plan. Figure out a way to leave me alone during the ceremony. They won't show up with you around, and I need to be the bait. Are we clear?" I know he won't like it, but whatever he wants. He's been married to me before; he should know that when I have something in mind, I do it my way. The problem is, he's the same way.

"Yes, ma'am. I'll let you do what you want without getting in your way," he says, giving me another light kiss. I smile, knowing he probably isn't entirely serious.

"Do you promise?" I ask in the middle of the kiss, my forehead resting against his. My god, how I love this man.

"No. Now get ready because I'm going to my groom's spot to wait for my beautiful bride." He gives me a peck on the lips and leaves before I can react. I then prepare to go to the hall to fake getting married.

"Nice pathetic plan, Melisa. Beautiful. You just forgot that I was a partner with all of you while you played the united little group. I smelled a setup since I knew you were going to marry Barnes again. Who in their right mind makes the same mistake more than once?" Steve speaks behind me as I head towards the hall where the guests are waiting. I smile because I did get what I wanted.

"You, you arrogant jerk." I turn around, plunging a sharp and likely lethal knife into his chest. Poor guy, he had no idea this time I would be prepared for him. The loud thud of him hitting the ground was startling. His look of desperation mixed with the anguish of pain, simply cinematic.

"Let me guess, you thought you would come here, and I would be frightened. You'd kidnap me, and I would cry in desperation. Then, it would be a remake of the last time we were together, but this time I wouldn't survive. That way, you and Killian would go unpunished. My question is, did you underestimate me so much that you didn't even bring a weapon to threaten me?" I say, watching him writhing in pain. Poor Steve, caught off guard. 

"If you think this is all, you're totally..." He tries to continue speaking, but I yank the knife out of his chest, and he's too busy feeling his blood leave his body to insult me. Oops...

"Dave, I think you can hear me. Ask Sam to come deal with Steve, near the bride's room. I'll continue with the plan." I compose myself, somewhat perplexed by what just happened, but the show must go on.

"Dave can't talk right now, but I'll pass the message to Sam. After all, Melisa... you were waiting for me, weren't you?" I get nervous hearing Killian's voice on the earpiece. Damn.

[phoebe-delia]

You've spoilt me rotten with your fanfics. I LOVE ALL OF THEM SO MUCH. IT'S ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL. NOW, if I went and complimented all your works, we'd be here all day, so let me get to what I wanna ask.

What's your advice to someone who wants to start writing ? Like any advice on things that I should keep in mind while writing fanfics or stories or whatever.

Oh my goodness, anon!!!! You literally have no idea the boost this gave me. Thank you SO much for reading my work. It means the absolute WORLD!!!! 🥹

I admit I feel a bit unqualified to give advice. That said, I will tell you a few things that I've learned in the two years I've been writing fic:

Write what you love, and write for yourself

When I first set out to write fic, I made a list of all the tropes and things I loved reading in other fics, and I started there. I also realized pretty quickly that I found a lot of inspiration in music; most of my fics are based on songs. That's what worked for me; you'll find what works for you!

2. Make friends in fandom

Comment on fics. Join discord channels. Reblog things and use tags. Do fests. Send asks off anon. Interact with other writers and fandom people. You will learn SO much from talking to them. A lot of fandom discords, if not already writing-focused, have resources for writers to help each other. When you make friends in fandom, you can alpha and beta for each other. So so so many of my fics have been made better by asking a friend to look at them. Making friends is also just a great way to experience fandom in general.

That said—remember that this is still the internet. People can be mean. Protect yourself and be safe. Set up boundaries. It is simply NOT worth it to fight with someone online, about anything. And don't you ever let someone make you feel like you're a bad writer; if someone you meet in a fandom space is not making you feel good about yourself, then cut off that relationship. It is not worth it.

3. Don't compare yourself to other writers

I'm still learning this one; every damn day. Don't compare yourself to other writers—as better or worse. Just don't. No one is going to write like you. No one is going to tell YOUR stories like you. Do not let other people's writing discourage you from putting out your own work.

OH and make a folder of all the nice things people say about you/your work!! (For instance, I screenshotted this ask and put it in my folder right away 😉) It will help IMMENSELY on rough days.

4. Don't make a habit of checking your stats page too often

I check my stats page way more than I'd like to admit, and there are days I'm disappointed when I don't see the numbers change. Try to establish a healthy relationship with your stats page early on, so it doesn't become a Thing for you like it did for me for a while lol. (I think at this point I've desensitized myself to it so it doesn't affect me as much when I don't see a change.)

5. This is supposed to be fun

If at any point you find yourself stressing about this, take a step back. This is a hobby. This is for FUN. This isn't school or work, you're not getting paid for this, no one will be impacted if you're late posting something or if you never post something at all. Write when it's fun; don't write when it's not fun.

I hope this helps, anon! Thanks so much again for sending this in. Sending you love and good luck, and let me know if/when you've posted!

[merrock]

HAPPY FIRST OF NOVEMBER!

Only two months left this year, how did that happen?! Either way, welcome to November! We're ready for a busy, family and warmth and love-filled month ahead, and hope that you are, too. Read on to see what to expect and any important things we have to share.

HAPPENING IN NOVEMBER!

November 18th -- RAILWAY 5K -- our annual run around town; everyone can participate, whether you're a pro, or a first time runner. run for yourself, or for charity!

NOVEMBER'S MINI-EVENTS!

November 3rd -- away football game; the final game of the season! but the team did make play-offs.

November 4th -- candy day; candy sales for all of your post-Halloween needs around the house!

November 10-13 -- world kindness weekend; a chance to do the kindest of things around town.

November 24 -- black friday; do all of your shopping around town!

November 25 -- small business saturday; make sure to save some shopping for local businesses!

EXTRA BIT OF FUN!

Busy time, easy task? We hope so! We've shared a task for November that you can fill out in character (if you want -- we won't kick you out for third personing it, promise). We'll also be accepting kind things about Merrock and about each other during kindness weekend, so stay tuned for that one!

IMPORTANT NOTES!

as usual, a reminder to read over our rules. we just want to make sure that all of our writers are aware of our expectations; small changes have been made, and a few pages have been updated.

please remember that triggers are triggering: period. whether it's a full out discussion, mention, brief allusion to, it's triggering, so just tag it with "trigger tw" and let that be that! also, do not bring up triggering subjects with someone OOC unless you know they, themselves, are not triggered by that, please.

if someone picks up your wanted connection, please be sure to plot and interact with them! and vice versa. both sides should do due diligence to carry through and make it happen.

in situations where something needs mod approval, please just be sure to have it from us before talking or posting about it. it may seem silly, but it keeps us all from having to backtrack!

be sure you are plotting with everyone! we have implemented the "three writers per character" rule, but of course we would like you to vary your writers. you don't always have to have a thread with every writer / character in the group, but it's really nice to branch out and spread some love.

BEHIND THE SCENES!

we have less events this month, and that's alright! we also have some fun mini-events for you to use for plotting, and we know that this month is always busy. it's okay! we'd really like to see you use this month to post open starters, plot with those you haven't, get some fun stuff going on your own.

but December will kick off with an outdoor Winter Fun Party, and we will have our Winter Holiday Market, plus a New Year's Eve party, so take this month to just plot, relax, and enjoy before the fun hits. start thinking about gifts. ;)

November is largely a "game planning" month for me -- meaning I will be working on saving resources for next year's events. we have some fun stuff in store!

+ THE HOLIDAYS AHEAD

With the holidays around the corner, we know that things are busier, and we understand that it may mean things slow down on dash a bit. So don't get discouraged! We are not going to cut back on our activity requirements, however, as we feel they are incredibly easy to meet, even during the busy times. What we are asking is that you, as players, are responsible with what you can handle. If you need to drop or pause characters, that is okay. Ask for hiatuses when needed, but remember that we do not offer semi-hiatuses. As admins, we absolutely understand and respect that real life comes first! We just also know that groups can't thrive and survive without activity, so all we ask is that you try your best during this busy month/season. We'll have a post closer to Christmas time with some guidance on posting gifts and any changes we need to make to checks, as well! xx

HAPPY NOVEMBER! xx

[fannish-karmiya]

I’ve seen huge numbers of people in fandom who are Lan fans present the idea that Wangxian winding up in Cloud Recesses post-canon is their ideal ending: the ideal ending that MXTX intended. Any dissenting opinions about how Wangxian are treated in Cloud Recesses or the Lans’ past crimes is ignored, and how dare we disagree with Wangxian’s decision or MXTX’s master plan for the novel.

One thing that strikes me about this is that it’s very aggressive towards literary criticism. We can have differing opinions on the novel and interpret the ending in our own ways! On top of that, I’m not even criticising MXTX as an author or her plan for the novel or anything like that...I just have a differing interpretation of what the meaning behind the tensions in Cloud Recesses post-canon is.

I don’t think it’s necessarily meant to be a perfect, uncomplicated happy ending. MDZS doesn’t have those. The sects who committed atrocities are still in power, and WWX has only been replaced with a new scapegoat for the sects to vilify. It’s a very realistic ending, and I also think it should be viewed through the lens of it being a novel written in mainland China, where any stories about wide structural changes or revolution run the risk of being accused of sedition, and where real life structural change probably feels like a pipe dream; all you can do is live your life as best you can following your own principles, as Wangxian do, not change society.

I also think that the lack of real acceptance WWX deals with from the Lans, with LQR encouraging the sect to shun him and he and LXC both seeming to only tolerate him because they know LWJ will choose him if push comes to shove, has a purpose. It’s very reminiscent of how many real gay couples who are accepted by their families are only nominally accepted by them. LQR acknowledges the marriage tacitly by allowing WWX to attend the sect banquet as LWJ’s cultivation partner, but also discourages members of the sect from interacting with WWX (the juniors already have been informed that if they speak with him they will be punished, and so speak with him in private where they won’t be seen). On top of that, the banquet also shows us that many of the other members of the sect, and the elders, disapprove of WWX; WWX takes note of their harsh looks and then ignores them, but he still notices that he is not welcome. LXC never interacts with WWX post-canon, and we never hear about them doing so second-hand, either. LWJ is allowed to have his cultivation partner, these gestures say, but he is not a real member of the family and we will seek to mitigate this disaster as much as we possibly can, since he’s left us with no other choice.

I don’t want Wangxian to be unhappy post-canon or to make extra drama for them; I just see that there are issues with how they are treated by the Lans and want to address and explore them!

The fact that WWX is used to being shunned and treated badly by society, and by the family he lives with in particular, does not make it somehow better! So the way he was treated in Yunmeng Jiang was wrong but not Gusu Lan? It’s a clear bias present in large swathes of fandom.

It doesn’t feel like there’s any room in this fandom for having differing opinions or interpretations of the text. Different corners of fandom have different accepted narratives and if you don’t follow them then you’re out. This doesn’t happen in just one corner of fandom, everyone gets in on it. JC fans, LXC and LQR fans, JGY fans, XY fans...they all have really strict ideas you can’t deviate from. It makes the whole fandom feel really unwelcoming, because any discussion seems to inevitably turn nasty, and I’m left not wanting to engage directly with other people’s posts because I know that disagreeing with them will just lead to us arguing in circles and not actually finding middle ground or having a reasonable discussion.

[latineslytherin]

Snapedom. I don’t like callouts but I feel I need to. As this is a matter that deeply disturbed me to see happen within our community.

User @idioticconsultingdetective, over on Twitter harassed someone for reading noncon Snape fics, and when they deleted their Twitter proceeded to continue to harass them on tumblr too.

They had supporters from @halfbloodre and @potionsev in this gross harassment campaign across multiple social media platforms. They had no sympathy or forethought in the idea that someone could use reading and writing about dark things as a way to process personal trauma. Because as it turned out, their target happened to be using the noncon fic in that way and their harassment prompted them having to talk about it. I don’t know if it was the first time they ever did, but they fact they did after this gross harassment, should make these responsible parties feel ashamed. They are bullies. Plain and simply.

The one who instigated it to cross platforms has deleted their posts and has attempted to change their username in a cowardly move without so much as an apology. But I have reblogged several of the posts and screencapped their Twitter exchanged. On top of reported them for their harassment.

I don’t post this to ask you to harass them. In fact I STRONGLY discourage you to interact with either of them. Don’t give them the attention. In fact IGNORE them.

Instead I’m simply informing you of their actions. And to not repeat them. Just because someone reads something dark, does not mean they endorse it in real life. And why they read something does not give you any reason to demand WHY they read something. No one owes you an explanation for what they read or write.