#shouting from my soapbox

[lorelune]

Thanks for that post about dark content lore. I do tend to consume it and the current state of tumblr...does not make me feel very good about myself when I read something as simple as a yandere fic. So hearing that from you gave me a little pick me up.

of course!! tumblr's current environment around dc is like... sad. abysmal. lacking any and all nuance. and overall, perpetuating a culture that does not promote creative freedom!! i truly mean i will always defend one's right to post and share dc. it is so deeply important to me and i'm glad that that sentiment brightened things for you!!

[dykedragons]

good moment

[plor-bindery]

Bound: Long Haul by @wolfpants

As a writer, I often am fondest of my shorter stories, but these fics are not the obvious choice for binding because they're so little. I actually started setting this story a while ago but put the typeset aside when I realized it was going to be such a low page count.

But more recently, I have been experimenting with a pamphlet bind to see if short stories and/or text blocks can be bound to my satisfaction, and yep! They can!

I love this short story by wolfpants and I have read it often enough that it deserved to be bound and put in my library. The story contains lovely delicious smut and (as you'd expect from wolf) excellent character-building, dialogue, and just exactly the right amount of realism. Wolf writes true adult characters and I adore this about their writing.

More about process and materials under the cut!

Materials: This is a quarto letter pamphlet bind using letter-sized 24# paper. The end papers are chiyogami acquired in Montreal. Book boards are actually cut from matte board that came in some packet of supplies or another, about 1 mm thickness and quite a bit bendier than my usual 2 mm book board, but worked nicely and feels appropriate for this little baby.

Book cloth is wooqu off Amazon as per. I sewed the pamphlet using three strands of waxed embroidery floss. Spine is strengthened with mull and a little strip of the same paper as the text block. Cover decoration is HTV vinyl. A few titles are foiled with toner-activated foil and a laminator. (Big shout-out to @sits-bound for technical assistance with figuring out that process!)

Process: This is a sewn 64-page/16 sheet quarto. I followed DAS Bookbinding's YouTube video here pretty closely except (as you can see) I went for a full cloth bind. I also added the paper layer on the spine before wrapping in cloth. I did this because I found mull alone — at least my cheap-ass mull — was not making for a smooth spine. The paper was a huge help on this front.

This is actually my third attempt at this style of binding (not counting the versions I did in class under adult supervision) so please do not be too impressed, lol.

The whole thing is held together by 50/50 corn starch/PVA mix (as well as the thread.)

I trimmed the tail twice by accident so then I had to trim the head twice too, and so that's why my margins are slender. :D

The HTV decoration was designed by yours truly (if you look at it for very long you'll be like "oh yeah I can see that" ahahaha) but I was really pleased with how it came out. I think I'm FINALLY finding my successful approaches for applying HTV. And yes, it was a monumental pain in my ass to weed. Worth it!

Peep the grease mark on the front title page. Sexy. No idea where it's from but yowza.

Bind short fic! Short fic also deserves binding! *steps off soapbox*

[mortalityplays]

Hi! I really liked and agreed with your post on purple prose, and I was curious what books if any you'd describe as having purple prose. Not even necessarily as shorthand for calling it bad! just examples of it, especially from non-classic literature. Unless the term is entirely subjective lol. Feel free to reply to this ask publicly or privately; I don't mind either way

Have some Conan the Barbarian (sorry about! the racism):

TORCHES flared murkily on the revels in the Maul, where the thieves of the east held carnival by night. In the Maul they could carouse and roar as they liked, for honest people shunned the quarters, and watchmen, well paid with stained coins, did not interfere with their sport. Along the crooked, unpaved streets with their heaps of refuse and sloppy puddles, drunken roisterers staggered, roaring. Steel glinted in the shadows where wolf preyed on wolf, and from the darkness rose the shrill laughter of women, and the sounds of scufflings and strugglings. Torchlight licked luridly from broken windows and wide-thrown doors, and out of those doors, stale smells of wine and rank sweaty bodies, clamor of drinking-jacks and fists hammered on rough tables, snatches of obscene songs, rushed like a blow in the face. In one of these dens merriment thundered to the low smoke- stained roof, where rascals gathered in every stage of rags and tatters—furtive cut-purses, leering kidnappers, quick- fingered thieves, swaggering bravoes with their wenches, strident-voiced women clad in tawdry finery. Native rogues were the dominant element—dark-skinned, dark-eyed Zamorians, with daggers at their girdles and guile in their hearts. But there were wolves of half a dozen outland nations there as well. There was a giant Hyperborean renegade, taciturn, dangerous, with a broadsword strapped to his great gaunt frame—for men wore steel openly in the Maul. There was a Shemitish counterfeiter, with his hook nose and curled blue-black beard. There was a bold- eyed Brythunian wench, sitting on the knee of a tawny-haired Gunderman—a wandering mercenary soldier, a deserter from some defeated army. And the fat gross rogue whose bawdy jests were causing all the shouts of mirth was a professional kidnapper come up from distant Koth to teach woman-stealing to Zamorians who were born with more knowledge of the art than he could ever attain.

Conan is an interesting example imo because it displays a lot of the highs and lows of pulp. Robert E. Howard could also write very punchy, straightforward action, and often did - but part of the selling point for the emerging genre fiction of the era was that it was lurid and lascivious. While the extract above is. Well. Bad. It is worth recognising that within its context it was also kind of experimental.

Howard wrote these drooling, sort of bewildering, sensory passages for the same reason Marvel movies punch you in the face with saturated colours and rapid cuts and a billion VFX. You see it in the work of H.P. Lovecraft too, and I will grudgingly acknowledge that that's something worth recognising about his literary impact. I also think Lovecraft was a pretty bad technical writer, personally, but that's a whole other soapbox.

My point is that a lot of truly purple prose today (in the sense that it is extraneous, distracting, undermines its own function) traces its legacy to this era of pulp where there was a distinct secondary purpose to overwhelming the reader with ornamentation. It was self-consciously indulgent, and strikingly distinct from the more genteel floridity of equally bad literary novelists. For instance, compare the above with the even purpler prose of the famously awful Irene Iddesleigh:

On being introduced to all those outside his present circle of acquaintance on this evening, and viewing the dazzling glow of splendour which shone, through spectacles of wonder, in all its glory, Sir John felt his past life but a dismal dream, brightened here and there with a crystal speck of sunshine that had partly hidden its gladdening rays of bright futurity until compelled to glitter with the daring effect they soon should produce. But there awaited his view another beam of life’s bright rays, who, on entering, last of all, commanded the minute attention of every one present—this was the beautiful Irene Iddesleigh. How the look of jealousy, combined with sarcasm, substituted those of love and bashfulness! How the titter of tainted mockery rang throughout the entire apartment, and could hardly fail to catch the ear of her whose queenly appearance occasioned it! These looks and taunts serving to convince Sir John of Nature’s fragile cloak which covers too often the image of indignation and false show, and seals within the breasts of honour and equality resolutions of an iron mould. On being introduced to Irene, Sir John concluded instantly, without instituting further inquiry, that this must be the original of the portrait so warmly admired by him. There she stood, an image of perfection and divine beauty, attired in a robe of richest snowy tint, relieved here and there by a few tiny sprigs of the most dainty maidenhair fern, without any ornaments whatever, save a diamond necklet of famous sparkling lustre and priceless value.

Christ. Hopefully you can see the depth of the scale here - the Conan extract is muddy and difficult to read, but this is near incomprehensible. Part of the reason this passage is so much worse is that there is even less intent behind the author's use of language. Here, she is working overtime to evoke a kind of dramatic-intellectual style borrowed from writers like the Brontë sisters (imo at least - not an expert, that's just the sense I get as a reader). The further these flourishes get from lending purpose to the meaning of the prose, the harder they are to parse.

BUT my other point is: far fewer writers these days set out to emulate Irene Iddesleigh's arch, roundabout, society conscious voice than they do the hallmarks of classic pulp. We're inured to sex and violence, sin and debauchery in fiction today, so extracts like the Conan example feel even more bloated than they did in their time. And that creates a real pitfall for amateur genre writers: the instinct to pay homage to the stylistic choices of the classics can lead them right into Irene Iddesleigh territory.

Too often, the purpose of these overwrought, leering descriptions isn't calculated to thrill the audience, but to establish a piece in the company of older works the writer admires. And that's what leads to truly purple prose in contemporary genre writing, which makes readers scoff and laugh, which makes authors self-conscious and timid, which leads us here to a point where wordy description is inaccurately identified as the problem. It's not. The problem is excess - and when something has purpose, by definition, it's not excessive.

[tennessoui]

girl your hanahaki au is absolutely wrecking my shit i--- I don't ever read ongoing fics and this is why. I just cannot wait?!? But the waiting somehow makes it better too?!? I'm literally dead bro I can't I love it so much

hahah omg thank you !! I’m really happy to hear you took a chance on this wip and that you like it so much!

not to get on my soapbox or anything but you have given me a great corner to shout from

as a disclaimer I totally understand why people will choose not to read wips and I truly think you know your mental health and what you can stand to wonder about/think about/obsess over/NEED to know a conclusion for better than anyone else

BUT as a writer who almost exclusively posts in wips, people reading them before they’re finished is my life blood and I am so grateful and it makes the writing process so much more fun for me because I know at least someone else is invested in my brainworm of a story?? someone else is enjoying it and thinking about it and I’m putting a small amount of good into the world??

the best analogy I’ve been able to come up with is like:

when you read a finished fic you’re eating a whole meal and that’s great that’s so amazing (especially if you tell the cook you liked it after you’re done). and you’re literally always welcome to eat that meal whenever you want. finished fics are like standing dinner invitations: I am always happy to have you and I mean that very genuinely

but if you read a wip, you’re keeping me company in the kitchen while I cook. and that’s sort of priceless. in some instances, you can even tell me the food needs more spice and I’ll think about it and listen!!! you’re sitting on my kitchen counter as I bustle around my space and we’re talking about what I’m doing and also how I’m feeling and maybe how you’re feeling and it just feels like community more than anything else I’ve experienced in any fandom. like you’re with me in my space as I’m creating food I hope you like. we’re both invested and it’s amazing

and I think in general that’s why wips are a lot of fun and also maybe why the waiting between chapters is fun for you - you’ve suggested that I add paprika to the pot and you’re waiting and wondering if I will, and I’m laughing and hoping you like the soup either way but also wondering if paprika will work with the recipe, and if I can add a bit to it just for you while staying true to the dish I envisioned at the get go.

[lurkingshan]

For the Romance Trope Ask Game

2 and 4. Thank you.

Rose💜

Friends to Lovers

*steps on soapbox* Friends to Lovers, when executed correctly, is NOT a fluffy trope. It is pain. It is the absolute terror of realizing you are in love with someone you are not supposed to be in love with. It is the knife-edge fear of them finding out, and also of them never finding out. It is the way the piner is constantly hurt by the one who doesn't know, and the journey the latecomer has to make to wrapping their head around such a huge shift in the way they think about their best friend. I don't think Theory of Love is a perfect show, but it absolutely gets the pain of this trope right in a way few dramas ever have, and it takes that pain to the max, allowing Khai and Third to hurt each other but also work through it and come out the other side stronger. It is one of my all time-favorite BLs.

Long Term Pining

Y'all love this one! And I appreciate it, because it's what the romance genre does best. I have already shouted out a couple fantastic one-sided piners in Lan Wangji and Noh Shinwoo, but I would like to take this chance to highlight a rarer form of the trope: mutual long term pining! This version can only happen when the characters have deeply misunderstood each other, so trust Japan to come through on this one and deliver a fantastic example in Tokyo in April Is... Ren and Kazuma have been on the same page about each other since they were 15, but due to a very unfortunate series of events around their first sexual encounter, both believe the other doesn't feel the same. But that doesn't stop them from pining for each other across their long separation and all through their initial FWB relationship. Seeing them finally communicate effectively and figure out what they meant to each other was so rewarding.

Send me a number and I’ll post the best and/or my fave show that uses that trope

[is-this-plural]

all of SELF-iSH by will wood and the tapeworms ..... or maybe im biased because my syscovery was quite recent and ive been listening to the album a lot (and as such naturally associate it with Other Major Happenings In My Life) but still. uh. evidence:

Well, they always ask you not to leave And I am as they remember me So when all my friends forget my name No, I won't come back and be the same (x2) And I'm gonna be my self again (Self-)

Just. All of Cotard's Solution and Mr. Capgras. but special shout out to this verse from Cotard's Solution: Divide by 1 and find I’m one less than the one I was So how many people am I? Now that I keep ‘em in my Sha na na na na na, memory, still I Check in the mirror to see how I look, I look different in different ways Ah, you do the math, ah, who’s looking back? Ah Sha na na na na na na na, that's not me Carving my initials in the back Of my hand in case of losing track

Why, I can’t see, that I am the “me” that I was born into And what’s the source of you? In your head, in your head, in your head And yet you believe it’s true, well you do Like you knew anything ever (The Song with Five Names, a​.​k​.​a. Soapbox Tao, a​.​k​.​a. Checkmate Atheists! a​.​k​.​a. Neospace Government, a​.​k​.​a. You Can Never Know)

For your self-portraits, sign another name Well, who should I be then, if I’ll never be the same? (Dr. Sunshine is Dead)

Well at 27 will I see That I was born to be the man I'll be? And if I change my self can I still stay me? Or did I just change my mind? I am a point in time and space And I am the truths that I create And so where my matter takes its stand No it doesn't matter who I am (x2) And I'm gonna be... (-ish [this is like the whole song basically it's not long. But still])

also hand me my shovel im going in is plural To Me but mostly in the sense of. i related to it a lot wrt my questioning and now the concepts are inextricable in my brain y'understand

SOMEONE ELSE GETS IT

[l0veraven]

why the fuck would you reclaim the violently transphobic webcomic instead of writing your own thing. awful. are you tme? don’t think i’ve ever met a tma leasebound enjoyer. funny.

I'm trans-masc (this is the first time I've seen the term TME so that was pretty cool to see), but there's more to it than just reclaiming the story.

I 100% disavow the author, Rusty, and her beliefs that she shoehorns into her story. Many of her characters are bland and one-note, and (even though the original story is wildly transphobic), it's turning the transphobia on its head and taking a critical look at transphobia while also focusing on the actual lesbian love story.

I'm not sure if I mentioned it in the Author's Notes from the top of my head, but the love story is heavily overshadowed by the story being a soapbox and shouting, "trans women are evil and ugly and [insert more insults here]." In my fic, I'm still bringing topics of gender into it, but in a way that, again, takes a deeper look and is an integral part of how the characters interact with each other.

We also need to talk about how allergic Rusty is to depicting men. That's actually another major issue I have. The flavor of terf/radfem beliefs that Rusty upholds is genuine misandry (prejudice/discrimination against men). I don't use misandry lightly and don't mention it much in conversation.

Chapter 12 actually highlights this point.

(Spoilers for people that haven't read the chapter)

Shez's backstory is explored and details how her trauma with her mother being in abusive relationships with men had negatively impacted everyone involved (the mother, siblings, and herself). The character being averse to men and having trauma is completely valid and I would never critique someone having PTSD. I, myself, have PTSD from abusive relationships (familial and otherwise) throughout my entire life, so this isn't something foreign to me, but everyone does experience trauma differently.

I bring up Shez's backstory because even though it's a perfect way to explain why she hates men, it perpetuates the idea that men are inherently violent, predatory, and abusive. This isn't helped by how Meriam, the mother, is genuinely heterophobic and refuses to acknowledge that therapy would be beneficial for her.

(Here are the heterophobic panels in question)

I understand where Meriam is coming from, even though I don't have the same trauma as her. It's understandable that she wouldn't want a man in her house. I see why she's avoidant of meeting Rissa's boyfriend. It's normal to avoid triggers.

What isn't normal is actively avoiding seeking help to work through trauma. This isn't to say she should invite men to her house and "get over it". It's that she needs to learn that not every man is out to hurt every woman they encounter. I had to get therapy myself in the past and had to learn that not every romantic partner will manipulate me, but need to establish boundaries to ideally avoid being in a situation like that again.

To point out the heterophobic lines (which is wild because this is the first time I've seen actual heterophobia in any piece of media)"

Rissa: "[...] SHANEZY doesn't NEED to date women. [... Your ex-husband] was ONE man, mum. ONE. [...] He treats me like a QUEEN. You'd know that if you just gave him a CHANCE!"

Meriam: "One chance is too many. Nice men are the best liars."

This is where Meriam is unable to see the nuances of human interaction. People with enough charisma, period, are the best liars. Could be Ted Bundy, could be your mother-in-law. Anyone and everyone is capable of lying and tearing a person down. Toxic lesbian relationships can and do exist. You don't avoid liars just by attracted to the same gender or only interacting with the same gender.

Rissa: "And WOMEN never lie?!? They're just perfect angels who can do no wrong?!"

Meriam: "Women cannot make you pregnant."

We'll look past the women being able to impregnate (trans women do exist, but that's besides the point). Rissa is making a very valid point. Anyone is capable of lying and you can't avoid toxicity by only avoiding one group of people. Liars exist in a variety of spaces and have a variety of identities. Men are not the only ones capable of bad behaviors.

Rissa: "[...] So my options are: be a fucking lesbian or die alone? Great!"

Meriam: "Rissa... I am not saying this."

But she is. To a degree. I'm assuming that Meriam would be fine if Rissa abstained from relationships entirely (but we can't forget that terfs tend to not acknowledge asexual and aromantic identities), as long as she wasn't with a man. In theory, assuming that Rissa is straight, she would unfortunately be pressured by her mother to remain single.

THE BIGGEST POINT HIGHLIGHTING THE HETEROPHOBIA HOWEVER:

Rissa: "What if we get married, hmm? You just won't come to the wedding? You won't meet his family? Nothing?!"

Meriam: "I cannot support this, but I cannot stop you either."

Rissa: "Well, I guess you'll just never see me after that then!"

Meriam: "You will always have a home here..."

THIS is the problem. Instead of trusting her daughter to ensure her own safety and establish hard boundaries in her relationship with someone she hasn't even met yet, she just doesn't trust men. Period. This dialogue is something that comes straight out of a conflict with a homophobic parent. Remember the lines, "I cannot support this, but I cannot stop you either," and, "You will always have a home here." This reeks of "I don't support your lifestyle, but I still love you and you're always welcome here. Just not your partner."

Why go on about heterophobia?

For one, it demonstrates how hating men is acceptable in the comic, because with how the conversation is treated within the comic, Rissa is the irrational one for not siding with her mother. The other aspect is that it perpetuates "man violent," which isn't really beneficial to anyone. It fails to understand the nuances of people as a whole.

We also can't forget the gay couple with a gender nonconforming son that only appeared for a split second and never returned. Again, Rusty is allergic to men. I actually hate how her friend rags on her "inability to draw men". I think it's untrue, and frankly, I like some aspects of Rusty's art style. However, Rusty herself has mentioned that she refuses to depict men in her comic (unless they're characters like Trinity AKA "Madame President" as shown in Chapter 13).

THE POINT IS:

Why not take a shitty piece of media and re-write it to make it better? It's kinda like being mad at all the anime abridged series out there because the original media is shitty in one way or another. Besides, the story itself has SO MUCH POTENTIAL, but it's completely ruined by the transphobia and focusing on that aspect rather than developing the relationship between Jaden and Riley.

This comic has been going on for 5 years and we got the backstory of a side character before getting a look at Riley's backstory. Focus on the main characters please. We haven't even gotten to the inevitable break-up between Riley and Blaire yet.

Who knows, maybe one day I can publish this fic as its own book like with 50 Shades of Grey 🙈

[smokeygrayrabbits]

I am once again on my inhuman vash soapbox shouting into the void about how vash is a little critter posing as a dude. he does not naturally Human™ he just imitates the people around him to act human.

picking up their mannerisms and making them his own. turning himself not only into a patchwork of scars and metal, but also of the people he's met.

theyre lives are so fleeting and so beautiful, he works them into himself to let them live on. taking the art of their passions and experiences and mapping them onto himself.

after all, plants aren't individual. not really. they function as extensions of a whole. a hivemind not unlike the root systems of the Aspen groves that once dominated the landscapes of earth.massive and connected and immortal through their community, their likeness.

but humans are. they're single and fleeting and wonderfully individual. each of them unique from the others, no two alike. this gives them power, knowledge and passion and drive that a plant like vash could never imagine. but it also makes them tragically small specs on the sprawling plains of time. their lives burning hot and bright and fast like the fireworks rem showed him videos of as a child.

vash burns slowly. less of a firework and more like a stick of incense, leaving every where he walks bathed in a haze of power and smoke and destruction. cleansing and blessing the ground he walks on, the lives he touches.

vash can't make their lives longer and he's tried. pouring energy into their bodies as they lay dying at his feet in a desperate plead for them to stay please don't leave me. their body's are so much softer than his. weaker and unguarded. even their cells are soft and delicate, letting the energy he pours into them slip away like water over stone. he can't save them from themselves, but he can preserve their memory in himself.

if someone, say for instance a nosy old reporter, watched an angel like the good well meaning stalker they are, they might start to realize that vash repeats things. not obviously, not right away, but later.

a unique saying from a shopkeep a few towns back might roll off the stampedes tongue one day, and then again a week later.

or a specific quirk to his brow that looks just a little too much like that gangster from last months incredulous face at being put in a confession booth mid shootout.

sometimes if a well-meaning and slightly stalkerish old reporter kept a reallyyy close eye on a particularly sleepy or drunk outlaw, they might notice that with every drink his mimics get a little closer to copying in real time.

bottle green limps slamming down on counters in the same way that darker scarless forearms do 12 drinks in with their sleeves rolled up.

drunken giggles taking on the familiar snort of a younger newbie on a late night.

if a very attentive and only slightly tipsy stalker looked to the twiggy outlaw to their side, they might see him taking the same pose over the bartop as the stalker is wont to do.

Roberto is a reporter, and a little stalkerishness comes with the territory, and he thinks the mimicing is adorable.

[beck-a-leck]

Ya know what.

More fanfic writers have got to start using "And Cast" character tags. (Or something similar)

I personally glaze completely over a huge Wall of Character Tags on AO3. I absorb nothing. I lose all concept of which characters are actually in the story in a meaningful way because Every Single Character is tagged. (And I know I cannot be the only person who does the same thing)

I hate looking for fics about a certain character and finding a thousand fics with them tagged but they're background, they're mentioned by other characters, maybe they have one line.

(If there was one thing I liked about fanfictiondotnet it was that character tags were limited. So only the actual main characters of the story were tagged.)

I don't need all 30 characters from a game or book or movie tagged for one story. Even if they all have scenes with the main characters. Even if they have dialogue. Their presence in the location of the story is implied and understood because they're canon characters.

'And Cast' succinctly encompasses the concept that "More characters will be here but they won't be the focus of the story." It's a beautiful 2-word shorthand tag to communicate something important to readers.

It would help declutter tag lists, so people can get a better idea of what's inside a story. It would help eliminate false positives for people looking for stories focusing on their blorbos. It would just help SO MUCH!

And I'm going to stand on my soapbox and shout about it tonight

[lovelylotusf1]

ohh that prompt game seems fun!!! how about 23/9 for max!!

Thank you for the lovely prompt anon <3 I focused a bit more on 9, but there's still some of prompt 23 - loss of abilities/skills in there. You didn't specify a ship, so I left it a bit ambiguous. But, it definitely has Max/Oscar vibes! Prompt list for if you want me to put drivers into Situations :D

Sleep deprivation

“A question for Max. What happened in turn 9 today?”

“I don't know, you fucking tell me.”

Max knows this single moment will be clipped to hell and back. He knows that PR will chew him out for it, and that it will cause the reporters to jump on him like sharks smelling blood. But he doesn't fucking care. Not when the incessant flashing of cameras makes his head swim and the endless stream of chatter from the interviewers melts together into a noise that sounds like he's developing god damn tinnitus.

There's a nervous giggle to his right, but when he turns his head he doesn't know where exactly it came from. Oscar's sitting next to him, and there's Lando, too, and since when are their faces so blurry? Max squints, trying to determine the exact point where they're blurring together into a kind of super McLaren driver. The thought makes him snort.

“It seems like you lost control of the car there for a second,” the interviewer rambles on, but Max is busy blinking the world back into focus. “Was it driver error that caused you to almost hit the barriers there?”

Oh wait, Lando and Oscar aren’t melting. Lando's just leaning into Oscar like he doesn't know about the concept of personal space. All gooey and smiley and why does that smile look a bit pained?

Suddenly, there's a foot nudging against his, and Max remembers that he needs to answer something.

“That question is stupid, so I won't answer it. I finished third, didn't I?”

Finishing P3 is embarrassing, he doesn’t need the question that will undoubtedly come next to tell him that. It'll probably be about whether he's okay with that place or if he's lost his ambition. About the multiple rookie mistakes he made throughout the race. The trip through the gravel. Only the pitstop strategy and a lucky safety car saved him from being kicked down to the cold and unforgiving fourth place.

For someone else, it might be passable. Not for Max. Never for Max.

Someone else shouts out another question. Max stares into the vague direction of it until Oscar picks up the microphone and answers something that doesn’t manage to go through the fog of his brain.

The rest of the post-race interview is torture, and by the end of it, his head is pounding and he's trying to hold back shivers that are probably from a fever he's developing. Great. Simply lovely.

When he's on his way to get to his motorhome, a hand on his shoulder stops him. “You were really weird today.” It’s Oscar’s voice. Good. Max couldn't stand anyone else right now. “Are you okay?”

Max lets himself melt into the touch a little. Allows himself the simple comfort of someone else's warmth. “I think I fucking fell ill,” he spits out. “I slept a total of three hours between cold shivers and not being able to breathe through my nose.”

The hand on his shoulder tightens. It’s Oscar's tell that he's really angry about something but doesn't want to show it directly on his face. Max is a little proud of himself, proud that he remembers that tiny detail even when his brain feels like a soapbox driven by a snail instead of the usual pace of the RB19.

“Okay, that's totally fine. Racing while sick is nice. Cool that you did that.” Max might be dead tired, but he can still hear the sarcasm dripping from Oscar’s words. “Let's get you to bed.”

“So forward. I thought that you needed to ask Lando for permission to do that with other people. Or you already asked, of course.”

Oscar laughs, that high-pitched one he sometimes lets out when someone surprises him. His arm wraps around Max's waist, guides him the last couple of steps to the door of his motorhome and beyond it. Huh. Max hasn’t even noticed that they've been walking towards his bedroom.

“I really think you need to sleep a bit. I'll stay if you need something.”

Oscar firmly but gently pushes him onto the bed. And Max lets him do it without objections. A warm feeling spreading through his body as he closes his eyes with a content sigh.

People who might be interested in Max/Oscar: @wisteriagoesvroom @maaxverstappen

[acommonloon]

Black hole sons - egos of men daren’t be eclipsed

My sister invited us to visit her new place in Kentucky on Saturday. Her Lawrenceburg address was an hour and a half drive to “nowhere close.” Even Frankfort was 45 minutes away. As it was their one year anniversary at the new house, it was going to be a big shindig. We felt we had to go.

TD, my sister’s husband (although they never use the term and I don’t think they ever officially married) is a Marine(ret) and a black man so…

We would get to visit with some black people! Yay! lol I spent 21 years in a diverse Air Force with many of those years in North Carolina, Georgia, Mississippi, and Europe so, after our last 22 years in white bread Indiana, I was looking forward to a gathering with some color.

We had a good time but this morning we discussed a thing we both noticed.

We arrived on time so we were early. It’s a military thing. My sister met us at the car as we unloaded lawn chairs, a cooler with beer (I would drink) and a bag with a bottle of bourbon, a gift for TD. I apologized as I handed it to my sister because we didn’t find anything we specifically wanted to gift her. Then I said, “Maybe you like bourbon too?”

“I do like bourbon but TD doesn’t like me drinking it.” She said.

What?

“Yeah, he says I get too mouthy when I drink bourbon.” She chuckled

We walked in silence for a few seconds.

“I do love bourbon though.” She sighed.

This morning, I recalled this to D and she asked, “Did you notice how the black women and the white women married to black men were cheerfully subservient to the men.” She went on, “I was really shocked when Jerry said to his wife, “Hey can I get some ice over here?”

His wife, Anita, responded of course honey and brought it right over.

That was some Mad Men level patriarchy right there.

Before we were given leave to eat, TD turned the prayer into his personal story of deliverance by God, the result being the property he now owned. It was his dream, granted to him because he always put God first. He acknowledged the prior owners who were on hand, recounting how it was his note, left under the humidor entreating the, then unknown, owner to always keep the Marine Corps flag flying that sealed the deal. I felt this conclusion somewhat undermined when he admitted the seller asked the two prior contract offers to perform within 48hours and only when they couldn’t, was his offer accepted. Inshallah. After the conclusion of the prayer, I walked over to the prior owners.

What a wonderful place I enthused, “How could you bear to leave it? I asked.

They smiled and I saw genuine sadness as they said they’d always dreamed to have such a place but couldn’t keep it up. They said they’d bought a smaller place nearby but, what I was seeing here now had always been their dream too.

Perhaps they hadn’t always put God first in their lives or maybe it was just his plan to let them toil for years before letting someone else buy the fruit of their labor.

Minutes later, God’s chosen was back on his soapbox. He introduced his son. His oldest son. He said he’d always hoped one of his sons, but especially this one, would follow him into the Marine Corps. He couldn’t be prouder. Oh and his other son, a football coach, would be here later. Yikes

Then he demanded to know where the cake was. He directed this query to my sister. She said it was in the house. Well get it he smiled. She turned and went.

I watched her walk away from the crowd. No one looked her way. I shouted, “Do you need any help?”

FUCK! I never heard a cross word or impolite remark during the event. It was the type of fellowship I remembered from church dinners during my youth. Everyone emoting delight at the company around them. Sunny smiles all around + alcohol.

Earlier as we were driving down, I’d called my sister to say we would be early if that was okay so we could have a bit of time to visit before the crowds arrived. I joked there’d probably be a hundred people. She said that was accurate with all the people TD had invited. “His problem is he’s too likeable!” I joked.

“You don’t have to live with him.” She responded.

These men love their wives like cherished possessions. They ply them with caring condescension giving all credit to godly provenance and their own wisdom for doing so.

[hongtiddiez]

bake me please finale thoughts, feelings, etc.

normally i only break down whole eps for last twilight but this finale sure is. a finale. definitely is one of those.

this shit with the social media feels very dramatic for some cakes. like??? listen, i work in social media for a small company, this year we had something VERY major fuck up one of our shipments, but even with that huge fuck up no one responded even close to this lmao. this is ridiculous and overly dramatic - which like, i know the show has been, but this just felt dumb.

well that's not true, you just had a whole fit last episode about how Sweetheart managed to rip off your recipe, so like... someone is definitely making that cake, bud. i don't get his obsession with the torta caprese, you are not the only one capable of making it. make a fucking croquembouche and then i'll be impressed.

and once again Peach saves the fucking day. how did any of you live without him? like honestly, the amount of physical and emotional labor Peach takes on is INSANE. why is he the most well adjusted person in a group of 5 adult men? i'm begging you all to pass the singular brain cell you share around.

not that Peach is perfect, because he then lies to Guy, says he has the flu, and expects Guy not to show up and try to take care of him? buddy Guy is besotted with you, he cried because you were crying, of course he's going to try and come take care of you.

so here's something i liked about this conversation - that there was a conversation. Guy found out Peach lied, Peach apologized, and they talked it through. not all of Guy's responses were perfect but he listened and he didn't shout or lash out. he took time to hear Peach and understand what was going on.

and instead of shouting, he tells Peach to go.

so there's absolutely a parallel here to draw between Shin telling Guy not to come back and Guy telling Peach not to come back - just like Shin, Guy is hurting. he doesn't want Peach to go, doesn't want to say goodbye, but he knows that's what Peach wants and he's willing to let him go. the difference comes in that this is very likely also the perfect opportunity for Guy to seek some distance. he's recently been rejected by Peach and knows there's no place for his feelings with Peach, so it would be better for them both if they can have that space.

he communicates it in a way that's better than Shin, without the shouting and the hurt and the insult, just a quiet resignation. and you see Peach isn't that upset, not even half as upset as Guy was when Shin said the very same thing to him - because Sweetheart isn't where Peach wants to be and both he and Guy know that.

WELL THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE INFORMATION TO HAVE IN EPISODE 1. so Shin, Oab, and Guy started Temptation together and were all shareholders, which is both pretty impressive and makes Guy leaving all the more tragic. i can get why Shin was so hurt, but Guy's hurt is amplified as well because he went into a business with his friends and was sidelined, essentially.

i am so glad to see him come home, though. what Guy shows us is sometimes you need space and time to gather your thoughts, feelings, and gain perspective on what matters most to you. after everything Guy still came back because this place and these people are his home.

"My ego is not as important as this shop and all our efforts."

wow what a mature thing to say, amazing. what a concept. Why the fuck wasn't Guy our main.

okay, I know I'm on my Guy soapbox, I'll get off it soon, but just - Guy being the one to take Peach back to Shin? what the FUCK. it hurts. it hurts so bad. he literally takes Peach by the hand and leads him back to Shin so they can reconcile. from his earlier talk with Shin he knows he feels bad, he knows he misses Peach, and from Peach's rejection he knows Peach misses Shin. he puts all of his own love and feelings aside to bring them back together. i know he did some shady and petty shit but he really is the Guy (lol) of all time.

the fact that Shin apologizes better to Guy than to Peach drives me up a wall. Shin talks to Peach about not being firm enough and being impatient or whatever and it's like CAN YOU JUST SAY YOU'RE SORRY? i'm begging you to apologize for not listening, for calling his dream stupid, etc. NOT FOR NOT BEING FIRM ENOUGH WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

NO. ANGRY BUZZER NOISE. NOPE. PEACH YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. YOU COMMUNICATED ALMOST THE ENTIRE TIME UNTIL YOU FELT LIKE YOU COULDN'T ANYMORE. YOU PUT THAT 'WE' BACK IN YOUR MOUTH.

their reconciliation just felt so weird, like Shin never apologizes for FUCKING CALLING PEACH'S DREAM STUPID like??? hello? i would not be able to move past that, myself. dreams are all we have in this shitty difficult world and then you're gonna insult someone's dream? get fucked.

okay i'll admit i did REALLY like the parallels of these two scenes, this was very sweet and well done. and that sassy look between Guy and Oab - i'll be a GuyPeach bitch until i die but it was very cute and very suggestive.

i am not buying this for an instant though, from Guy or Oab. i think they both loved Peach and Shin very much, but saying this might make moving on easier for them both. i don't know what world Guy lives in but crying because Peach is crying? that's not something you do for a simple crush. rushing to his house because you heard he was sick? not crush behavior. but whatever makes it easier to move on babes.

having the family reunited after all of this feels so fucking good, though. i'm going to talk about this a lot more later but they're my comfort idiots, your honor.

AND GRANDMA SURVIVED TO THE END!! WE DID IT!!! HELL YEAH!!

alright since this is basically the end i'm just going to talk about the things i liked and didn't like about this show and the ending. i haven't read anyone else's posts because i really didn't want to be influenced and i'm glad i sat with my thoughts for a bit.

what i really enjoyed about Bake Me Please is the warmth of it all and the aesthetics. there are so many beautiful shots in this show it's almost like a work of art. they do so much with light, framing, the food, etc. it really is a delight to watch. the plot was fine, a little rushed at times but that's to be expected with 6 episodes, it wasn't anything special and it wasn't terrible - it just was. i think @mikuni14 really said it the best that one of the most charming things about Bake Me Please is that each character feels like a real person you could come across in your day to day life and this is both for better or for worse, because sometimes people are so frustrating. they don't feel like characters or caricatures but actual fleshed out people and i love that, because i would sometimes forget i was watching a show.

another thing i loved from BMP is Atom and Oab's relationship. it's so easy for shows to make brothers rivals, to pit them against each other, but Atom and Oab have so much love and support for each other and it was so refreshing to see. Atom doesn't want to work at a bakery but he does it for Oab because he loves him and wants to help him - and Oab knows he doesn't want to work there and is doing it in part because of their mother and promises to help and support Atom when he does find his dream. i could watch an entire show just about the two of them, i really fell in love with their love for each other.

i also very much appreciated the reunion and the way they all came back together as a family. they're a collection of broken pieces and i suppose Peach has become to glue to hold them together (though i wish he didn't have to be.) the atmosphere of the bakery is completely changed, there's palpable joy in the environment, and hopefully they can continue this feeling.

now what didn't i like? Shin and Peach's entire relationship feels like such an emotional weight thrust onto Peach's shoulders. at every turn it's up to Peach to draw Shin out of his shell, to mend missteps, to learn how to navigate around Shin, and it feels like Peach dancing with a brick wall rather than the two of them waltzing together. i didn't really find them getting together all that satisfying, especially not once they'd slept with each other. i will say, all of this did put an spotlight on how important communication is in relationships, so for nothing else i suppose there is that.

i guess it's not just Peach either, though. the emotional weight of Shin and his attitude and hang ups is really put on everyone else and very, very, VERY fucking rarely does Shin ever take any PROPER responsibility for that. he says a few sorries, not as many as he should imo, and everyone just moves on.

this isn't just me shitting on Shin, though. i really didn't like the constant referring to Shin as heartless. like, fuck, those are your friends!! the people you went into business with!! ouch!! so i can get why he was a dick sometimes but you cannot go through your whole ass adult life acting like that to everyone. and we do see he has a few wake up calls, especially when encountering Oab's mom.

which brings me to my next gripe - i hope that woman explodes. they showed us quite a bit of her and her shitty attitude and all of that led nowhere. i'm not saying i needed some great sob story of her realizing all the pressure she was putting on her kids, etc. i just wish we'd seen.. more, i guess. even if it wasn't resolved or there was no happy ending. generational trauma is such a hot topic these days and Asian families arguably suffer from it more than others. it would have been nice to see some of that explored and seen Oab be less of a doormat - or at least take steps in that direction.

i also wish we'd seen more development between Guy and Oab rather than just these little crumbs at the end. i can't help but feel like they were two consolation prizes just coming together because why not? and it's like, i don't know, i'd rather see something form slowly over time and maybe before the finale - like simultaneous with them dealing with their feelings for Shin and Peach maybe they also struggle with some burgeoning feelings for each other. i think that's the only reason i can't get into them too much, there's just nothing there for me to really latch onto emotionally.

finally, i'm disappointed Peach's dream is never addressed. sure, they sell his grandma's cakes in the shop now - but those are the cakes that inspired SHIN. everything is once again about SHIN. how is Shin supporting Peach? what is Peach's current trajectory towards his dream? it's giving woman with high aspirations gets married and becomes a house wife while her husband gets all the glory. yuckers.

sometimes the show also just kind of felt like one big excuse to make their music videos. the videos are good! i listened to Poom's on repeat today, but idk. i just wonder why this show was made. what message were they trying to convey? i get not all media has to be this big, deep thing but i just really feel like i missed the why here. maybe it was just to enjoy the aesthetics, the music, and have something short and low key? and if that's the case it did really nail it!

all in all, i'm not upset i watched it, Chef Guy will always have an incredibly special place in my blorbo heart, and i would recommend it for anyone who might want a short, casual palatte cleanser show between heavier shows (i know it has been a great break in my week between all the heavy shows airing right now)

i think we can all agree Poom was the best thing to come out of this show and it was a great way to showcase his exceptional acting skills and put him on our radar. i cannot wait to see more of him in the future.

i hope you guys have enjoyed the gifsets and my rambling, i'm smooching you all, and have a happy holidays!

meta tag loves: @callipigio

[fireflower117]

i am having. thoughts about the dnd campaign im currently in asdfgklkl to be fair i am always having thoughts but today i will be standing on my soapbox to shout about them because im feeling silly✨

ever since i was a kid i always wanted to tell stories. and i dont think thats a strange experience, especially not on this hellsite, but weirdly enough i always found the most joy telling those stories with other people. here’s the thing about that- working with other people on creative stuff is hard. everyone brings their own thoughts and finding a way for everything to gel, much less to feel earning and cohesive and alive is genuinely SO hard. i spent so much time searching for the perfect medium to do it in, the perfect story to tell, but inevitably it always sort of fell apart.

so when i first agreed to join this campaign, i think the thing that struck me the most about it was how much it felt like i was a kid again, telling stories and riffing off each other’s ideas to make some intricate, meaningful whole. i felt it when i was listening to my party members talk about their characters, and then weeks later meeting them in-session for the first time and getting to feel out dynamics; i felt it from the first descriptions of the world we were given, people and placed that were both novel and exciting but also oddly familiar— some of my favourite memories come from a new npc being introduced and someone letting out a knowing gasp and having that “oh shit, i know this person” moment.

i felt it when my dm came up and asked me before the campaign, out of curiosity, what storytelling tropes i would want to see- and then months later i was getting emotionally sucker-punched by a full “dimension 20 Nightmare Forest” moment. i felt it from the first moment i pitched my character and my dm went “i know exactly what to do with him” with such assurance, and even months later im still receiving incredibly potent character insights and in-session payoffs, and having a person I made and put insane amounts of love and care into just be able to exist and be treated with dignity within this world that i’ve grown to see as a living, breathing thing in return. and not for lack of trying, i’ve been lucky enough to find a world that is INSANELY easy to immerse myself in because there’s so much passion put into every nook and cranny that it feels like a place I’ve always known, so. hell yeah for that!

there is a saying that goes ‘in order to receive the rewards of being loved you must undergo the mortifying ordeal of being known’, and sometimes i feel as if collaborative storytelling, dnd— and call it recency bias, but specifically this campaign— is the closest thing i have ever received to true, unfettered love. i think love, to me, has always come from the act of creation. in shared storytelling, in recognising of the heart and soul placed within each narrative choice, in making each other laugh and cry and think and feel. in listening, and understanding, and knowing, and responding. in the ways which that transforms and validates you. in telling a good fucking story.

i am standing on this proverbial soap box, and in this moment i am extending this point to anyone who has ever cared about me enough to create something with me; to my party members, and most of all my wonderful, illustrious dm.

i love you too.

[woman-for-women]

Hello ! I was wondering if you had any YouTube creators you would recommend? I have really woken up and gotten into radical feminism recently and am finding it hard to find good trans critical videos that aren’t from right wing nuts 🙄 thank you for the help and your blog is amazing 💕

Hi, and thank you (sometimes I forget to say thank you when people tell me they love my blog).

Unfortunately, I do not really follow many YouTubers who are explicitly radical feminists/gender critical. My best suggestions is:

Sapphic Underground is a lesbian who reviews f/f media. She has a side podcast called Sapphic Talks that is explicity gender critical, but her main channel is fairly light-hearted.

Other than that, I don't have any recommendations. I'm of the same opinion that the YouTube radical feminist content is overrun with conservatives who believe there are two genders because God said so and also women should stay in the kitchen, left-wing YouTubers who read off tweets and Reddit posts to dunk on "TERFs", and self-styled political commentators like Shaun, Contrapoints, and Jesse Gender.

If you've just discovered radical feminism, it's a good chance to also center women and women's art, voices, and perspectives in your life. So apologies to soapbox for a minute and recommend some of my favorite female YouTubers (who are not radical feminists, I just like them and want to share them. I also got too lazy to link everyone, so sorry about that!):

Laura Kampf is a German lesbian who does all kinds of house renovation and building projects. Her 120-year old house restoration series is my reality television.

Nicole Rafiee for funny rants and more informal, chatty social commentary

Kasey Golden for wholesome and cute art.

Vewn for her unique and interesting animation style

cari can read because she summarizes Sarah J. Maas books in an entertaining way so I never have to pick one up (sorry to all my Sarah J. Maas enthusiasts, I still love you guys)

Kennie J. D. has a series called Bad Movies and a Beat where she makes fun of bad movies while doing her makeup. She's so funny and she just covered The Ultimatum: Queer Love

Natacha Oceane for fitness inspo.

withWendy does all kinds of cool sewing projects. I'd also recommend coorlipa and JENerationDIY.

Mina Le for fashion history and commentary

AmandaRachLee if you like bullet journaling

Kel Lauren does design! She takes popular brand logos and merchandise and redesigns them to make them look better.

Jenny Nicholson does fandom and media deep dives. She's a big theme park and Disney person. She has a great sense of dry humor and her 'The Last Bronycon: a Fandom Autopsy' is one of my favorite videos

Micarah Tewers for sewing videos, but also whatever the hell else she feels like, including a funeral for her pet rodent L'Trexa

ANJA for cool paintings and art

Sorry this list got so long, but I love to give a good shout out. If anyone has any good recommendations for anon, don't be shy! Reblog and drop some suggestions.

[lux-talks-a-lot]

i was thinking and like, there have been many times in my life where i was too depressed to kill myself

and that's really fucking funny (im doing much better now)

but it's also kinda the point of being depressed i think

bc in the same way that anxiety seems like the most useless helpless feeling in the world when your in the middle of panic attack and all you want is for it to stop BUT is actually your fight/flight response kicking in and trying (& perhaps clumsily succeeding in) keeping you alive during a moment where may feel (and perhaps actually are) deeply unsafe

i think depression is there your inner self-preservation trying to keep you alive in a different way

bc from personal experience, sometimes the danger to your life is no longer an outside source (maybe you moved from the danger, maybe you adapted to it, maybe it's not there anymore)

the danger to your life is you and your brain knows if you COULD do something, it would be first and foremost self-destructive

and depression is awful and like literal chains around your ankles

but generally speaking, your brain & body want to live even when you don't

and they'll make it clear

your body might literally start collapsing bc you've taught your body "we dont rest unless we have to" so your body responded, "we no longer have a choice but to rest"

your brain might go into depression which is a deeply protective state of mind

reminder that your body has a lot of ways to warn you that you're on the way to depression but you have to learn the signs or else they might as well not exist

but yeah, idk, from the perspective of someone who's been to a lot of therapy bc i was something of a troubled child, everything ive been taught about how to take care of myself and my brain; human psychology is complicated but you dont need to know therapy-speak to understand that even when you feel like your brain fucking hates you, it's doing more to take care of you than most people are

trust yourself and your body a little more, there's reasons for why people crash and burn and it's not the depression, it's what led to the depression

i really question calling this shit mental "illness" when so often, it seems to only be an illness bc someone else is complaining about it, i know the moment i shut the fuck up and stopped complaining, i had more people in my life but i also started feeling worse

if we would just let people exist a little more, if we were more willing to give space to things we find uncomfortable instead of being ruled by emotional impulses, we might be able to expand the bubble of societal protection for EVERYONE, keep everyone a little safer

okay, im done my soapbox now, just needed to rant (shoutout to the first therapist i had who very bluntly told my very anti-drug family that i was currently very high risk and saying no to these drugs is saying yes to potentially letting this get worse, go figure the deeply religious undiagnosed autistic gay 12 year old trans egg was a little prone to self-loathing)

also shout out to tumblr, i dont know if it made me less or more at risk, but shout out anyways