#since I'm always here I might as well get some tumblr posts out of it

[ultravioletness]

Rings in 16th century paintings

Raffaello Sanzio, Ritratti di Agnolo Doni e Maddalena Strozzi (c. 1504-1506)

Tiziano Vecellio, Ritratto di Eleonora Gonzaga della Rovere (c. 1537)

Agnolo Bronzino, Ritratto di giovane donna con libro (c. 1545)

Agnolo Bronzino, Ritratto di Lucrezia Panciatichi (c. 1541)

[ms-demeanor]

since twitter has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, and reddit has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, what do we do now that tumblr is becoming (more) actively hostile to its users? i’ve been here for over a decade so i know tumblr users are the type to cling on despite everything and revel in undoing every change, but i’m so tired of the way this website breaks the way it fundamentally works in order to appeal to new users. the twitterfication of the site seems so much worse than when people jumped ship after the porn ban, and even then, only small communities (and twitter) cropped up as solutions. you might not be the person to ask for a definitive answer, but i figured a tech blog might be interested in considering - what do we do when there’s nowhere left to go?

Okay so, I mean this very seriously: how has tumblr meaningfully become like twitter?

I don't personally find the sidebar view obnoxious and it seems to me like just another layout change that's pretty typical to tumblr. New users are getting signed up with a bit more emphasis on algorithmic feeds, but that is still very easy to change (MUCH easier than on any other social platform) and the algorithm has been there for everyone for quite a while, we just typically don't notice it because a lot of long-term tumblr users don't go into the "for you" feed.

I don't think that tumblr *has* fundamentally broken the way that it works to appeal to new users. My dash now is still very much like my dash in 2019, and still very much like my dash in 2018 (though much less pornographic). Reblogs are still reblogs, likes are still likes. Replies, for all that they seem like they've been around forever, are new and good and I think they work well. I'm irritated that the notes menu doesn't have a "view all" option but I think that's a worthwhile tradeoff for an easy way to see tags.

I *do not* understand why tumblr has broken linking back to previous reblogs but I don't think that's out of an effort to act like twitter; it is a bizarre choice that I dislike and don't understand but I also don't think that it has fundamentally changed the way the site works and i mean you've been around long enough that I'm sure you've had the same experience I have of going into the notes of a post and randomly clicking until you found a version that you wanted to reblog without a bunch of bullshit at the bottom. Tumblr has always kind of sucked, this change DOES suck but it doesn't suck in a way that is particularly novel or insurmountable. (For instance, I think this change sucks MUCH LESS than when they made posts with links invisible to the search, that is something that is genuinely bad that has been long lasting but doesn't get brought up much in lists of the ways that tumblr has gone wrong)

Tumblr *is* changing, but I think it is changing more incrementally and less terribly than other parts of the internet. I also hate the floating clown, the login walls, the dash-only view for blogs (you can't archive it and I HATE that), and - to an extent - the new lightbox on mobile. And I dislike that less than I thought I would but I don't think it's a fundamental change that necessarily impacts my interactions with the site - it *adds* a feature that I don't care for but it doesn't *break* anything that I require to have a good time on tumblr - in that way I think of it very much like Live. People hate Live so much and I find that perplexing because it is so easy to simply ignore it.

But that's not really your question; that's just some stuff I want people to think about because as much as tumblr has changed in the last two years it is nowhere near as fucked up as the recent things that twitter and reddit have pulled.

So, as to your question: where do we go?

Well. Not to be an extremely old person on the internet, but damned if I don't miss email lists. And forums. God I miss forums. Neither of those things has all the bonuses of platforms like twitter or reddit or tumblr or facebook, but they were great ways to hang out with people you liked on the internet.

The internet is changing. I can feel it, you can feel it, I'm pretty sure we're all like cattle in a field lifting our noses and hearing some distant rumbling and becoming slowly aware that it's almost time to run. There's a coming stampede and it isn't here yet but you know it's on its way. You're not imagining that, that's how things feel right now and there are a shitload of things contributing to it.

Things like SESTA/FOSTA and KOSA (which has not passed yet but is a big red flag waving on the horizon) have been eroding away the way that users on various platforms can function. Some platforms have consolidated in ways that harm users; some new platforms have popped up and shaken up the map of the internet; some platforms are being torn apart brick by brick by owners who don't care about the users. It kind of seems like people are actually looking up and realizing that advertising is A) bad and B) doesn't actually work and I think we're running straight toward another advertising-based crash like we saw in 2017. It feels like all the desperate things that tumblr is doing is just rearranging deck chairs on the titanic as the internet as a whole starts to sink into the ocean.

Honestly, I don't think it's that bad. I think it *feels* bad, but I think we're looking at a slow whimpering death of the platforms, not a bang. I think tumblr is going to hang on at least for a few years and I think it's going to end up like livejournal and myspace, which both still exist as websites that are recognizable as updated versions of the sites they were in 2004-2010. The thing that I think would really, honestly hurt tumblr in a fundamental way is if it moved to a more algorithmic and data-sales based model of advertising, and I think that's still pretty distant. I think Automattic is aware that killing the chronological feed would be the one unforgivable sin that would cause a mass exodus and a final crash, and I think when we see that, when we can't just scroll through the feed and see what our friends did that day in order of when they did it, that's when the party is over here.

But that's still not answering your question.

So, where do we go? What do we do? Well, for now, I'd say it's a good time to get contact info for your friends across various platforms. Get email addresses, get phone numbers.

Now is also the time for you to set up a personal website. NeoCities is currently the best place to do this, though it takes a lot more effort than just starting a blog on tumblr. I think that various oldschool blogging sites like Wordpress and Blogger/Blogspot/whatever the hell the google one is are a better place to have your emergency backup than a more platform-y platform if you aren't up to doing something with NeoCities.

If you've got the ability to do so and a group of people who are interested in the same core subject, set up a forum. There's a decent amount of off-the-shelf forum software out there and a text-and-small-images forum isn't prohibitively expensive, but it's never going to be huge and you're never going to have the kind of spread and virality and random connections that you would on a platform with millions or billions of users.

If you can't set up a forum, setting up or joining a discord server for your friends is a decent enough option at the moment, and may be a very good option for people who are looking to keep their interactions more private.

But yeah i think right now is a great time for people to start setting up their own personal websites, to start visiting actual webpages again, to start bookmarking their friends' websites, and to start collecting contact info that isn't tied to platforms.

[candlewaxandp0lar0ids]

How to Leave Comments on Fanfiction

So, I recently made a poll to know if people might find it helpful to have a list of things they could talk about when leaving comments on fanfictions, be it on Ao3 or on here. A majority of people were interested in seeing the post so, well, I'm making it. I started writing and posting stuff online when I was a teenager, on a website where leaving constructive criticism was the norm. It's by far the place where I've gotten the most feedback and it was an incredibly formative experience for me as a young writer — and it taught me how to leave detailed comments.

Writing comments doesn't necessarily come easy. It's something that you may need to learn how to do, but the good news is that you can learn how to do it, so don't worry if you don't know what to say at first. Hopefully this list will give you some pointers on how to do that.

This is more or less the list I go through when I want to leave a detailed comment. Even if I don't have a specific idea at first, I'll go through the steps and I never come out empty-handed.

Comment etiquette:

What became apparent with the poll I made was that a lot of people worry about how they'll be perceived by the writers if they leave a comment. Now, obviously, writers aren't a monolith, but 99% of the time writers will be thrilled that you took the time to leave a comment to let them know what you enjoyed in their fic. I cannot stress this enough. We're not going to judge someone based on a positive comment they leave.

As it stands, on Tumblr and Ao3, it's seen as rude to leave negative feedback, unless the author has explicitly asked for it/agreed to it, so that's what I'll be going over here. Since quite a few writers did say on that post that they would like to get constructive comments as well, stay tuned, I'm trying to get something together to do that for authors. Other than that, you're good to go.

The main ways to let an author know your thoughts on a fic on Tumblr are:

reblogging a fic with your thoughts underneath it

reblogging with your thoughts in the tags, which is often less formal

leaving a comment as a 'reaction'

sending in an ask if they're activated on the blog (which means you can stay anonymous, if anon asks are allowed)

Reblogging means that your followers will see the post as well, and is therefore really appreciated on Tumblr.

As a note, you may find different systems work for different fics! Maybe leaving tag rambles works for you when commenting on drabbles, for example for me it's the system I use to leave comments on smut.

General advice:

Everything I'm saying in here is for people who want to be able to leave longer/more detailed comments and don't always know where to start. If, for whatever reason, you're not comfortable or you don't have time to do it at the moment, a simple "I love the fic, thank you for writing it" always goes a long way for an author.

The key thing to keep in mind if you're trying to find something else to say, I think, is to try making the comment specific to the fic you're leaving it on. It shows the writer what you took away from the fic and the fic's strong points, which is both meaningful and helpful to an author.

Comments don't have to be long to be meaningful. Don't stress about writing a ton; a one-sentence comment highlighting the fic's humor or how emotional it made you can be incredibly impactful.

With this out of the way, I'll go through things you can talk about in a comment, starting with what I think is the easiest and moving on to things that could require more thought. You don't have to do all of that. You may never use some of the things on that list. Leaving comments should not be a source of anxiety. So take what you want from the list, maybe come back to it if you need more inspiration, and don't worry too much about it :)

Favorite line(s) : pull from the fic to let the author know what your favorite line was. If you wish, you can expand on that by saying why it was your favorite: did it make you laugh? Did it make you feel something specific? Did the author nail the characterization with it? Was there some incredible metaphor? Did you find it beautiful or poetic even if you can't go into detail? Is there one line in particular at the beginning of the fic that hooked you in and made you want to keep reading?

All of that is very valuable for a writer to know. Some of my favorite comments I've gotten were a list of a reader's favorite lines from a fic with one or two sentences to explain why they liked them, so don't hesitate to do that more than once if you can!

Emotions:  if there’s one thing I know about writers, it’s that we’re thrilled when we’ve made you cry. So tell us: how did the writing make you feel? Did you laugh out loud? If you did, was it the dialogue, or the narrator? Did it make you cry? Which part? Could you relate to one of the characters? Did it make you feel seen? Did the fluff make you feel all fuzzy inside or did the angst twist knots in your stomach? This isn't an exhaustive list, and emotions are great to draw from when you're leaving a comment!

Favorite element of the writing: Is there one thing in the writing that struck you as being particularly good, or what was your favorite thing to read? Is the author a master at writing dialogue? Are their descriptions so good you could see the whole scene? Are they really good at getting in a character's head and describing their emotions? Were you hooked from the start and couldn't stop until you reached the end?

Characterization: Now, this might be less instinctive, but if you've been in a fandom for a while, you'll probably be able to identify these things fairly easily. You can tell the author if you think they've nailed one aspect of a character. Did you have a favorite character in the fic? What did you think of them? Did the author manage to capture their voice? Was the attitude spot-on? Which parts of the character, if you can name them? Were there aspects of the character you particularly enjoyed? Did the author shine a light on something you hadn't considered or on something you don't think is highlighted often enough? Is there one thing from the fic you can actually picture/hear a character doing/saying in your head?

Style: I'd argue this is the hardest part, and you shouldn't feel bad if it's not something you can really comment on. As someone whose first language isn't English, I know I struggle with it. Style can be perceived as the way the author's voice comes through in the text. It can come through in punctuation, in the way sentences are formed, in the choice of the words themselves. If, when you read, you feel something intangible that doesn't fit well in the other categories, it just might be the author's style.

Here are some things (non-exhaustive list, of course) you could say about an author's style: it can be direct, straight to the point. The author doesn't bother with ornaments. Every sentence feels impactful. Maybe the writing feels intense. You're overwhelmed by the characters and their feelings and you feel truly engulfed in the story. Maybe the style is light and airy. It's so easy to read you don't even notice you are reading. Maybe the writing is intricate. Going through it is like piecing a puzzle together, sentences are foreshadowing and metaphors reveal deep truths about the characters. Maybe the style is rich. While not always the easiest, it's a pleasure to read through it, the author has a wide vocabulary, and you might want to compare it to a well-written novel.

If you identify specific elements of that style (metaphors, interesting use of punctuation, etc.), don't hesitate to point them out and let the author know you enjoy them!

That is it for this post, hopefully it doesn't look too daunting — again, you absolutely do not need to do all that in any comment, but maybe going through this list can help you leave comments for authors you enjoy.

I like to end my comments with 'Thank you for writing and sharing this with us', so I'll tell you thank you for reading, I hope this was helpful, and please consider reblogging if you'd like to save this or if you think it could help someone else!

As a bonus, my friend @elidebrey and I (but mostly her) made a 'checklist' for commenting, to help remember all this if that's something you'd like, so use at will!

A big thank you to @elidebrey, @yoongihan and @antoniorhinothethird for their precious opinions on this ♥

[jewish-sideblog]

hey, so im Palestinian and a strong activist for my people's liberation. i wanted to ask for some info/advice on avoiding antisemitism in my activism for Palestine. im on anon bc i don't want to be called a racefaker for caring about Jewish ppl. i know antisemitism is on the rise right now (and generally over the past few years) and i want to make sure i'm not unintentionally contributing to it.

Hey there! I wanted to start by genuinely thanking you for asking this question. Partially because I don't actually get any well-intentioned or helpful questions in my inbox anymore, but also because I understand the amount of bravery it takes to reach out with a question like that at a time like this.

Next, I want to apologize to all my followers who hate long posts. Judaism is a very complicated ethnoreligious group, antisemitism is a very complicated form of bigotry, and the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is arguably the most complicated international issue that has ever existed. I'm going to try to go through everything as succinctly as possible below the cut-- I am also going to ask other Jews to contribute to and make edits to this list as needed.

And finally-- I'm writing this as though I were speaking to someone with very little knowledge of the subject. I understand that as a Palestinian, you probably know a lot about what's going on here. But I want to make sure that I'm covering bases for anybody else who might need to use this post. So if you're like, Yeah, Obviously I Knew That. Please remember that a fuckton of people on tumblr are engaging in Israeli criticism without obviously knowing that.

There are two primary forms of antisemitism in anti-Zionist spaces-- antisemitic conspiracy theory, and criticism of Israel that no other country receives. The first kind is the easiest kind to pick out, and it makes a nice bulleted list, so we'll start there.

Dual Loyalty. A global stereotype that has skyrocketed since the establishment of Israel, but it's been around for a lot longer than that. Simply put, it's the idea that Jews are more loyal to Israel (or some global secret kabal) than we are to the countries we currently reside in. With I/P, it manifests as the idea that All Jews are directly responsible for Israel or the idea that All Jews secretly support Israel. If you see a Jew who isn't directly engaging in I/P topics, don't ask them what their stance is. Plenty of us have never even been to Israel, and it's fucked up to assume that we're all experts in geopolitics.

The Holocaust was a Fabrication or a Lesson. The idea that Jews made up the Shoah has been around since the Shoah was still happening, and it's always been ridiculous. Today, you'll see three primary lines about this. Either it's that Jews made up the Shoah as an excuse to establish Israel, that the Jews deserved the Shoah because of what's happening in Israel today, or that the Jews "should have learned their lesson from the Holocaust" because now Jews are "the new Nazis". Frankly, I wish goyim would stop treating the deaths of millions of Jews like a TV show. Palestinian deaths are genuinely horrible, but this isn't some kind of "narrative parallel" to the Shoah.

The Kazars Theory, or All Jews are White. This is the DNA test nonsense. The idea is that Israel (or Jews at large) are only pretending to be indigenous to the Levant and that secretly Jews as a whole are actually indigenous to Eastern Europe. It's a lie, started by a German professor of Russian history in the early 1800s. Meanwhile, the vast majority of genetic, historical, and archaeological evidence points to Jewish origins in the Israeli/Palestinian region. There have been literal hundreds of genetic studies on this. Most of them suggest that Jews, even "white" Ashkenazim, are nearly genetically identical to Palestinians.

World Domination. The idea that Jews control the world began with the Protocols of the Elders of Zion in 1903. If you're encountering criticism of Israel that suggests that world governments, particularly European or American ones, are being controlled by Jews, you've got yourself antisemitism. White supremacists like to use the term "Zionist Occupied Government" or "ZOG" as shorthand for this conspiracy. The next two points are born out of this same ideology.

Controlling the Media. The idea that Jews are in charge of Hollywood and/or major news organizations around the world. Regarding I/P, I've seen a bunch of people say something like "Western media outlets won't cover this! (Because you know who controls them!)" only to look online and see... Western media outlets covering it. See also: "My source is tiktok! I don't trust the news!" While it's obviously a fair criticism to say that some Western news outlets certainly have a pro-Israel and anti-Palestinian bias, it's certainly not every single one of them. Reuters and the AP are once again my go-to's here.

Controlling the Financial World. I haven't actually seen this come up regarding I/P, but considering how things have been going, it's only a matter of time. We don't control the banks. We don't control the stock market. We're not in charge of American aid being sent to Israel. HaShem knows that if we controlled all the money, I'd certainly be living larger than I am now...

Those Bloodthirsty Jews. This one arguably started with Blood Libel in the 1100s, when Christians started accusing us of stealing and eating their babies. Straight up, I have met Christians who still believe this in 2023. You see this a lot with I/P-- the Al Ahli Hospital is the biggest example. More than a month later, most reliable intelligence organizations agree that a misfired Hamas rocket landed in a parking lot, killing about 100 people. But a ton of people are still saying that Those Bloodthirsty Jews intentionally bombed the hospital dead on, killing 470 people. I want to be clear-- Israel is killing a lot of civilians. But if you see a bandwagon of people focusing on the one group of deaths that Israel probably actually didn't cause? Consider why.

Causing wars, revolutions, and calamities. Hamas has straight-up got this one in their founding charter. No, the Jews are not responsible for any major global conflicts, revolutions, or counter-revolutions that don't directly involve Israel. We didn't do WWII. We didn't do the October Revolution. See above-- we're not secretly plotting massacres on Shabbat. A lot of people are saying that Netanyahu and Likud let Hamas in to justify the invasion of Gaza... I'd be shocked if that was the case. All evidence points to a classic intelligence failure. We're not orchestrating bloodbaths.

Section 2: Criticisms only levelled at Israel

It's important to recognise that Israeli civilians are no more collectively responsible for the actions of the Likud coalition than Palestinians are collectively responsible for the actions of Hamas. No Palestinian deserves to be stripped of their rights to self-determination in their ancestral lands because of the October 7th attack. Likewise, no Chinese person deserves to be displaced from China because of the CCP's human rights violations in Tibet, Uyghur and Hong Kong. No Russian person deserves to be ethnically cleansed from Russia because of the Kremlin's invasion of Ukraine. But plenty of people do believe that Jews should be stripped of their rights to self-determination in historically Jewish indigenous lands because of the actions of the Israeli government.

After October 7th, I've seen people argue that Israeli babies deserved to be kidnapped because of their national origin. I've seen people argue that Israeli women deserved to be sexually abused because of their nation of origin. I've seen people argue that the seven million Jews living in their ancestral homeland deserve death or displacement because of their nation of origin. Justifying or allowing brutal harm against people because of their national origin is hateful.

I want to make this part very clear-- I do not have an issue with calling out Israeli war crimes or crimes against humanity. But I do have an issue with treating Jewish civilians differently than civilians of other nations responsible for similar horrors. Amplifying bias against a particular group because of that group's nation of origin is called bigotry. Taking a stand against Israeli settlements in the West Bank is anti-Zionism. Collectivizing the label of "white colonialism", and forcing that label upon refugees forced to move to Israel, or Mizrahim with uninterrupted 8,000-year histories in Israel, is antisemitism.

Part 3: Moving Forward

So where do we go from here? If advocating for the destruction of Israel is advocating for the elimination of Jewish self-determination in our ancestral lands, but advocating in favour of the Israeli government is advocating for the elimination of Palestinian self-determination in your ancestral lands, then we must find some middle ground. A solution that allows seven million Jews and five-and-a-half-million Arabs to share the same holy land, without fear of persecution, displacement, or death. For me, this means a few things.

First of all, the recognition that most Israelis disagree with Netanyahu's approach to Palestine, and most Palestinians disagree with Hamas's approach to Israel. And that brings up a question-- why are Likud and Hamas in charge of Israel and Gaza respectively if most people disagree with them? Without getting into the complicated intricacies of the Knesset and the PNA on an already very long post (and without explaining your own government to you), the simple answer is international funds.

Israeli crimes against Palestinians are bankrolled by American Evangelical Christians, who believe that when Palestine is gone, all the Jews will go to Israel, and Jesus will come back to kill the world's infidels. They actually fucking believe that. Meanwhile, Hamas is bankrolled by Iran, which believes that the more often Jews and Sunni Muslims kill each other, the easier it will be for Iranian Shiite Jihad to take over the world. They actually fucking believe that.

So what steps can we take during our advocacy? Not for the destruction of Israel nor the destruction of Palestine, but for America and Iran to get their noses out of our damn business. I genuinely believe that a defunded Likud and a defunded Hamas will allow Israelis and Palestinians to work together for a peaceful two-state or joint-rule solution. Something that will keep my Palestinian friends from feeling like they can't safely travel from Jaffa to Tel Aviv. Something that will allow my Jewish family to visit and pray at the Cenotaphs of Isaac and Rebecca and the Temple Mount. Something that will let Israeli children from Kibbutz Nirim and Palestinian children from Khan Yunis play on the same playgrounds together, instead of sheltering from missile fire.

Frankly, we nearly had that when the Supreme Muslim Council and the Assembly of Representatives began collaborating against the British Mandate instead of against each other. Clearly, it's possible, we just need to stop being pitted against each other by foreign powers.

[thetravelingmaster]

Reasons Why you Should Check Out ROM

(readonlymind.com)

I've done a similar posts before for this site when I first joined up ROM as an author, but I feel like it deserves a little boost and some visibility out here as one of the many sites where one can enjoy erotic mind control literature. And also, because I'm a little selfish! I figure that if more people know about it, there's going to be more erotic stories to read.

Back when I joined, thanks to @arihi 's post on the matter during the 2018 tumblrapocalypse, I believe that there were barely 150 authors that published on the site, but as of today, that number has risen to 446. The list keeps growing and so does the variety of stories available.

Much like mcstories.com, the site is very easy to navigate and search through, even if you aren't 'logged in' as an author or reader. It offers us simple ways to search out and find the stories or authors we most want to read about. They've done an awesome job with the tag system so that regardless of which story you are reading, you can click on a tag to see what other stories that have the same theme.

It's a lot like a porn site actually, but for mind control themes.

And speaking of the tags...

The search function is rather advanced. Not only can you click a specific tag to see which stories have them, but you can also use the 'advanced search' to combine them and refine your search. You can add as many as you want to really find out if a specific theme is available. In fact you can also exclude tags to make sure you only get the stories you truly want.

Of course, when you do find a story you like, the author name will be a link to their page, which will list their stories as well as an introduction about themselves if they chose to add one. Since the site is all about open discussion, they accept self promotion so you can expect to find contact information on authors you like or even a link to other sites they post on.

Another very useful thing you'll find on their page, which I haven't seen on any other MC site before, is the 'story suggestion' link. There, you'll find all the stories the author recommends.

I've found that it's a great way to discover other authors because if you enjoy someone's writing, there's also a good chance you'll enjoy reading the stories they've enjoyed and recommended. Plus, if the author is so inclined, they can do more than just list off a bunch of stories, but also add a comment as to why they enjoyed it. I personally try to always add a little something to entice those that end up on my list.

Another feature I truly enjoy as an author is the fact that you can always go back an edit your stories because you always have full control of what is posted. Honestly, if I had discovered this before I opened up my own website, there would have been no need for me to do it. Although, I might have been a little disappointed about the fact I couldn't add the lovely images that inspire me so much... hehehe

But regardless, as an author that has many stories with many chapters, I've quickly discovered how easy it is to organize my stories because I can add a new chapter to an existing story, which is great because the reader doesn't have to look for previous chapters. Plus, you can add titles and even small descriptions to each, which will show up in the story index. In addition, you always get a word count for each chapter (or full story in the story list) so you know how long it should take you to get through it.

Speaking of readers, the site offers a little more than just a well organized and searchable site.

Well... If you register that is!

You don't have to post anything though, so registering is simply like creating an account. What you get for registering are a few fun bonuses like the ability to 'snap' a story you liked. Which is basically the equivalent of a 'like' here on tumblr. As an author, it's always a great inspiration to add chapters when I notice that one of my stories becomes popular and I know readers want more. It's also a great indicator for readers, as you well know!

Another bonus you get by registering is being able to comment on each chapter. I love the comments section because it not only gives me the ability to get feedback, but it also allows registered people to tag each other and reply to comments. As an added bonus, once you register, you get access to a notification page and if someone's replied or tagged you, you'll be notified there.

Speaking of notifications...

As an author, I get a bunch of notifications every time a user 'snaps' one of my stories, leaves a comment or recommends it to others. But as a reader, I can also 'follow' specific authors and be notified when ever they publish a new story or add a chapter to an existing one. But hey, that could be bothersome too so you ALSO have the option of just following ONE specific story so you are sure to know when the latest chapter drops. I'll admit, I use this option a lot!

Another option you may notice in the above image is the 'Read Later' option. I've used that as both a place to list off stories I like to read multiple times, as well as the obvious happenstance where I find a good one I want to read, but don't have the time.

As you ALSO may have notice, there are well known authors publishing their stories there too. @scifiscribbler, @jukeboxemcsa, @darthkyra, @ellaenchanting, @hypnoticharlequin and @skaetlett, to name a few you might know from tumblr.

If you can't get enough of reading MC stories, then this site will definitely help to feed your cravings. It's still relatively new and small when compared to others, but so far, it's proven its potential for growth.

The more the merrier

TM

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

01/16/2024 Recap

Hey Babes! Starting this a bit early tonight because holy fuck today was a whirlwind. I know I'm gonna forget something so please feel free to add to it. None of this was in any particular order. I figured tonight should be a review of "fun shit" (and news) since we've had some pretty intense days lately.

Gif Source - ofmd-ann

====Articles: ====

HollywoodReporter: HBO Casey Bloys spouts bullshit about how there just wasn't numbers Casey Bloys Reflects on HBO's Emmy's Dominace

For reference photos showing that's complete horseshit, please see @figmentof's post --- the most important thing however being that "a creator can set it up elsewhere" which is awesome news.

2. Probably my favorite article from today was over on Hard Drive (which for those of you who don't know is a satire site)

Max Apologizes for Taking so Long to Cancel Show People Love

3. There was also this article from Gizmodo talking about the hope for being picked up by another network:

Our Flag Means Death Might Still Set Sail Beyond Max

---------------------------------------------------------

=Twitter/Tumblr Insanity w/Astroglide=

The way this unfolded was beyond insane and I missed half of it, so here are some highlights:

---------------------------------------------------------

=Cast & Dad Sightings=

Daddy Jenkins came out of the woodwork to get in on the fun with Astroglide.

Vico Ortiz updated their Instagram story with Season 3 articles!

---------------------------------------------------------

=New and Exciting Ways to Polite Menace HBO and WB! Also Updated Contact info!=

FAXING! YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT!!

More phone prompts from @renewasacrew! Click the images for links to the posts with more information.

The most recent contact info:

Also I found this gif today and now you have to see it too.

Okay that's enough for the night. Well done as always everyone. Hope you had a good day/night! Have a lovely day folks on the other side of the planet! This is our passing of the guard!

[otomiyaa]

nice.png

(literally how I named the image, couldn't think of something else)

Hi guys :') To my followers and tumblr friends, I'm really sorry if my sudden disappearance scared or upset you. It wasn't quite... planned. And today was a busy day and I needed some time to consider what I wanted to do.

Short version of the story:

My tumblr account got terminated for copyright infringement. A certain Mr. Green got me in unlucky trouble (ref 1, 2).

I won't get it back, or try to get it back. It's gone.

Needed a moment to consider 2 options: ask Mia to extend my dramatic farewell letter and stay gone, or make a new blog.

Not planning to post new writing here. I won't be using words like 'never' or 'forever' because I'm a known clown with things like this, but the intention is to no longer post fics. I will finish Tickletober on AO3 and then take a break from writing. So yes, I cancel the swiftscribbles event too, sorry!

When I opened my laptop, I could see my old blog in its final hour lmao (I found out about the loss on my phone). So that's what the snap is from on a fitting grave. It was fun while it lasted!

Long version of the story:

Losing my blog(s): My Tumblr account with main blog + sideblogs got terminated overnight, it was quite the surprise! I've either been reported or tracked by bots. The posts are a bunch of numbered URLs I can't open, but the message is clear: for including anime content, genshin impact or media from other sources (whether it's videos, screenshots, official art, gifs or even fanwork) you technically can get a strike. Upon googling the claimer I quickly found this first, and knew it was a lost cause. Although it feels shitty and unlucky, I am in no place to appeal. It's like when I used to make AMVs in the past, you never knew whether a song or even anime footage was going to give your YT account a copyright strike or even a ban, it was a gamble. I have lost YT accounts before, and now I lost the Tumblr one. With 7+ years of tickle trash content and a bunch of sideblogs. But oh well, moving on!

Starting a new blog: It was a serious consideration whether this was my ultimate chance to do what I've always said I wanted to do eventually - quit my blog. My first thought was to ask Mia to share my explanation and literal goodbye with you guys, and stick to my chaos of a Twitter account to indulge in fandom stuff. But then I thought of how happy Tumblr made me, even without the fic writing, but just.. reblogging things, getting random asks, shouting about life and of course, about tickles. I decided to make a new blog after all, but also decided the following:

The 7K+ milestone swiftscribbles event is cancelled, for which I apologize! The follower milestone, together with the motivation to write the fics, and even the asks with the requests I got, all died with my former blog.

I will see how long I can survive without posting a new fic or drabble. A loose headcanon or two might fly around sometime. And if necessary, a link to a new fic on AO3.

Tickletober? Hell yes I'll finish it, I would cringe in bed for 49 days at least if I would stop. I just won't post the fics here, but on AO3.

Reposting/reblogging my old works? Undecided at the moment but I'm tired and lazy. I don't feel too upset since most of my fics are still on AO3 at least and not completely gone.

Anyways, I'll see what happens and how long I can enjoy this nerfed version of blogging.

Surprisingly I'm not upset about losing my other blog, there were a lot of memories but it was also very cringe. I'm gonna be just as cringe here, but at least I feel cleansed.

For those who choose to follow me again, thank you, but please know that there won't be much original content coming from me, for now!:)

[everlastlady]

Bloody Legend: Mammon X Reader

───────────────────✦─────────────────────

✰- Author's Note: Someone onced asked once the new episode of Helluva Boss was dropped, would I write Mammon content. Well here is some angst filled Mammon content depending how this goes there might be a part 2 with a happy ending. I have to say, I and absolutely enjoyed the new episode yesterday. Especially Mammon is a character that you can hate or love. I have mix feelings about him because I relate to Fizzarolli, but I did enjoy Mammon being a greedy, egotistical, and controlling bastard. But for those who want to get jiggy with Mammon, here is your food. Remember to eat a meal or a snack, drink some water, get some fresh air, take your medicine, and remember that you are loved. If you loved this story remember to comment, click or tap that heart button, reblog with tags, and blaze if you can. Always remember to support your local writers. ♡♡♡

✰- Story Contains: Controlling Mammon, Angst, Mammon being mentally abusive, Striker, Verosika Mayday, Gender Neutral Reader, Some Wholesome moments, hazbin easter egg & Spoilers from the new episode so read with caution.

✰- Word Count: None today, I'm writing this in Tumblr mobile app.

✰- Posted: 10/30/2023

───────────────────✦─────────────────────

Mammon was absolutely pissed how things ended at the show. How his cash cow Fizzarolli sung that song, if anyone sang it around him. He would squish them like a bug without hesitation. Mammon was loosing money because Fizzarolli quit, no one was being the merchandise and especially the sex dolls. The papers talked about what was going on and Mammon was hoping that Asmodeus was regretting revealing that he loves Fizzarolli, but no it seems everyone and the media was eating it up like some cheesy love story. Mammon couldn't even hire the twins because they ended up in the hospital in comas after what happened to them at the show. He needed a new cash cow and he couldn't hold another clown off because no one would buy the tickets. He felt frustrated and lost, until he met you.

You were a comedian in the Wrath Ring while Mammon was visiting he came across you in the run down comedy club. He saw that the crowd adored you. How you made people spit with laughter, cry from laughter, or even die. Even your jokes matched your looks in which in his mind you look absolutely stunning. He thought you were too good for this place way to good. He could offer you a better deal, a better life, and so much fame and fortune. So after the show he went to your dressing room. You were surprised to see the king of greed in your dressing room. It was quite scary because of how big and intimidating he was. " (Y/N)! Finally nice to meet ya! " He exclaimed in a large smile while looking down at you. He thought it was cute how nervous you were how, you almost fell over trying to bow to him. The way you stumbled over your words. Usually he hated people who stumbled with your words; but when you did it. It was cute.

Mammon finally convinced you to leave this shithole comedy club and become his mascot. He talked about all the fame and fortune he could give you. This made you feel over the moon because you always wanted to be famous but also support your mother who has been taking care of you ever since your father walked out on you both. So you agreed to become Mammon's new clown face. Mammon felt happy; he would soon be making money and he especially had you. Mammon did as promised. You had fame and fortune. You even were able to get your mother a beautiful big home with maids, butlers, and anything she desired. Mammon could see how you cared for your mom so he made a mental note of that.

You were making Mammon so much money. You also had many fans. You loved your fans but the creepy ones always made you uncomfortable. You would tell Mammon about who would tell that's just show business that you are bound to have creepy fans. " Don't worry that just means you are doing an amazing bloody job! The creepier ones spend the most money. But don't worry they won't touch ya. You are tough so please don't disappoint me, mate, you do wanna continue to support me and you, especially your mum? Think about your poor mum and all she went through on those streets to support you (Y/N) " Mammon said while putting on a pretend frown and fake sadness in his voice. This made you feel guilty for complaining, Mammon waa right with popularity in show business comes creepy fans and you wanted to continue to give your mom the prefect life style.

After that conversation you noticed that Mammon got four hellhounds to always escort you everywhere. Anytime a creepy fan came up. They were always thrown, bit, or pounded it into the ground. This eased your anxiety a bit but also made you a bit annoyed because not only are they your body guards. But they choose what you ate, who you talked with, and your schedule. You tried to address Mammon about this but he said. " They are just making sure that you stay fit it's good that you do or else your fans will leave you, you also need a great social status so you'll be meeting with Verosika Mayday soon, and the schedule just helps get things in order. I don't want to hear anymore complaints from you, you're a bloody legend (Y/N) so act like it... " He would dismiss you and go back to counting his money.

Mammon wanted to boost your social status, so you were set to perform at a popular restaurant in the Pride Ring. You were going up after some radio demon called Alastor. " I'm not sure why you brought me here. " Striker grumbled to his girlfriend Verosika. " Oh, calm down it's been a while since we had a date night. " Verosika said while fixing her dress. " Date night? This is barely a date night you have meeting with that big ass Christmas tree Mammon and his little sellout puppet. " Striker said while fixing his tie. " Still a date night so please behave for me~ " Verosika would bat her eye lashes as Striker sighed. " Yes darlin' " Striker said. Verosika had started dating Striker a long time ago the two met in a bar and ordered the same drink that one drink turned into several the two on their drunken rant discovered they both hate i.m.p especially Blitzø what became a beautiful start of friendship turned into romance. So here the two sat at the large table with Mammon. Verosika and Mammon drinking and laughing while talking about show business. Striker just drank his whiskey while munching down on a steak, even though he hated fancy places like this, he had to admit the steak was good.

As you perform on stage, Mammon seemed delighted at your performance but Verosika and Striker could tell something was off about you. The two exchanged looks, Verosika clears her throat. " Is (Y/N) ok? They look sickly and exhausted. " Verosika said to Mammon. The greed lord looked at Verosika. " Yeah yeah, (Y/N) that's just their make-up and they are just nervous. " Mammon laughed nervously, he'll have to talk with you later. Striker could smell bullshit from a mile away. " Always trying to make a profit off my kind. Do they even want to be up there, I know what make-up is and that isn't make up you piece of- " Before Striker could finish his sentence. Verosika shoved a piece of steak in Striker's mouth and laughed nervously. " Ignore him, he's had too much to drink. " Verosika said glaring at Striker. Who was choking on the steak but managed to sallow. " It's good, I'm sure that your little boyfriend just jealous of (Y/N), they choose to be on stage. (Y/N) always pushes their self to work hard even when not feeling well, I beg them to rest but they don't listen. They just love making me money and supporting their poor mum. " Mammon said the last part dramatically.

Striker never really cared about anyone besides his horse Bombproof and his girlfriend Verosika. So after your performance he was determined to meet you. So after Verosika and Mammon went off to talk. He decided to prove what Mammon was spitting about you at the table was bullshit. He found his way into the dressing room and saw you throwing up into a trash can and shaking with chills. He snatched a blanket off the couch and quietly walked over to you and drapped it over your shoulders. You turned around thinking it was one of your bodyguards but jumped seeing it was some imp in western attire. You tried to scream because you thought it was another creepy fan but Striker covered your mouth. " I'm not going to hurt you and I'm not a creepy fan, I actually don't give two shits about you. I just want to ask you some questions so can you give me some answers alright? " Striker asked. You slowly nod your head as Striker pulled away his hand. " Are you happy and doing okay working for Mammon? "

───────────────────✦─────────────────────

Let me know if you guys want a part 2 because this is fun to write again depending how this goes. It can turn to Mammon X Reader or Striker X Reader X Verosika. Or even Mammon X Reader X Verosika X Striker. Depending on what y'all want just let me know and feel free to share ideas. Also let me know if y'all want Alastor to make another appearance.

[serahlink]

🚨 EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS OPEN🚨 tw // homeless / some med talk but not much

Reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

Making a new post to hopefully get some work for my family and I so we have somewhere to stay for tonight, since work has been very slow lately. I'm Link, and I'm a 22-year old artist, and my family and I (me + my father and younger sibling) have been homeless since November 2021. It's a long story. TL;DR version is at the same time, while I was living with a friend and my dad + younger sibling was on the road (he drove a van at the time) he had gotten into a diabetic coma and was fired by his job. Being fired meant he or my sibling didn't exactly have a home to go back to, as our relatives on both sides refused to help. At the same time, I was going to have to find someplace else since my friends grandmother was entering the late stages of her life and they had to transfer her to the nursery, meaning there was a lot of things his family had to take care of and I couldn't be there. They allowed my father, sibling and I to stay there for two weeks to give us time to find someplace else.

While I was there, I'd been doing commissions to help their family out with food, and since it was either the streets or living under a roof; I told my friend to take us to a nearby motel since we had enough for a day, and we could figure things out from there. So since then, I've been keeping us here by doing commissions ever since. Either of us haven't been able to obtain a job yet due to how hard it is for us to get our documents to get an id (we dont have a car at the moment, and saving money for the room and food is already tough as is), but recently we think we might be able to get my father's ID so he can work, were waiting on his lung condition to recover fully and get money saved up for the documents and all that before we apply to get them. So hope isn't fully lost for us, we just need to take care of some things for a while longer until then.

Recently, things have gotten worse again. We were paying weekly thanks to the help from my followers and commissions I was getting, but when we weren't able to pay for another, we went back to paying daily again. And immediately we were set back. For the past few days, we haven't been able to pay for one let alone food. We were able to pay most of it to at least stay here, thanks to the kindness of the staff, but they called us earlier to tell us if we couldn't pay everything tonight, then we'd have to leave. We owe 120 by 11pm tonight, and I thought maybe making a new post might help us since posting on my other socials hasn't done much for us lately.

My commissions are open, and if you're interested in helping us out via a commission you can contact me through my Tumblr dms since it's the easiest way to get to me. But if you can't help financially, which I totally understand, I know the economy is tough on all of us right now, please don't feel bad or anything. Reblogs also help us a ton, and it always means a lot to us.

For the commission info itself, I have it all packed into this link right here, along with examples of my art and prices. I draw mainly fantasy pertaining to the Dragon Age Series and although I know little to nothing about Baulders Gate, I have done some art of tavs before! I also do DnD work as well, so I'm used to drawing pretty unique characters. I'll also put some examples I have below. If you want something outside of that, I'm sure I can provide, just let me know upon your request! And I think that's all. Much love to you and thank you for reading, I hope you have a wonderful day/night :)

[mrs-snape5984]

“As long as I'm with you, I've got a smile on my face…”

“Save your tears, it'll be okay. All I know is you're here with me…” (“Here with me” by D4vd)

Suffering from ME/CFS makes me feel like my whole world is falling apart in front of my eyes. Since I’ve already lost so much joy and so many abilities due to this devastating disease, my continuing loss seems to increase even further.

As some of you might know, do I love to write my own stories about Severus and Julia just as much as I enjoy using my tumblr blog as some kind of journal, whenever I’ve commissioned another artwork. It’s my way of rolling out a red carpet for the artists of Snapedom…it’s my way of honouring them for their talent in their profession. Commissioning those amazing people and letting them make my ideas and fantasies come to life, is my very own manner of coping with my physical and emotional pain.

And now, this coping mechanism seems to crumble into pieces as well as everything else, that I’ve already lost! It hurts me to admit, that my brain fog takes advantage of my capability to create vivid images with my words. My thoughts are getting blurry and chaotic. I’m struggling to find the right words to express my emotions (it’s even worse in my native language German than in English!!)…and this scares me to hell!

My mind was the only place, where I could find some shelter from my infuriating and terrifying reality of losing myself to ME/CFS. What if I forfeit my only - just barely existing- talent now?? How should I flee this nightmare of existence if writing wouldn’t be an option anymore?! How should I express my gratitude towards all those marvellous artists of Snapedom, who are all weaving my emotional comfort blanket with each piece of their art?!?

I don’t want to give up on my writing…and I won’t…even though my pride would probably fade away with each badly written chapter of my fictions…and with each unworthy post on my blog. I must admit, that I’m already acknowledging the loss of quality. 🥺

I found an inspiring poem about the importance of staying resilient, no matter how difficult the hardships of life might become, and I want to share it with you:

"KEEP GOING" (Better known as "DON'T QUIT") by Edgar A. Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, When the funds are low and debts are high, And you want to smile but have to sigh.

When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest, if you must, but DON'T YOU QUIT!

Life is queer with its twists and turns, As everyone of us sometimes learns, And many a failure turns about,

When he might have won if he'd stuck it out, Don't give up though the pace seems slow, You might succeed with another blow.

Often the struggler has given up, When he might captured the victor's cup.

And he learned too late, when the night slipped down, How close he was to the golden crown,

Success is failure turned inside out, The silver tint on clouds of doubt, And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems afar,

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit, It's when things seem worst that you mustn't quit.

My dear @mmad-lover, I can’t stress enough how grateful I am for your dedication to this stunning piece of art and believe me, it was worth every single second of waiting! Paula, I was incredibly touched to hear, that my request seemed to be something special, something personal to you. I can assure you, that, indeed, all of my ideas have a profound meaning to me and I’m glad that you’re such an empathetic person, who sensed that particular importance of your art to me. Your devotion to this drawing is palpable in every single detail, every line of your brushes. You created exactly the mood, that I wished for Severus and Julia. It doesn’t matter that the world is burning to the ground around them, they will always have each other’s backs! Just like I’m relying on Severus for more than 21 years now. Thank you for everything, you precious soul! I’m glad that I met you and I hope, we’ll stay in touch. 🥹

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

[copperbadge]

(same anon) I've been following you ever since I joined (recognised your name from the potter fandom lol) and I don't think of you as particularly oddly shaped, truly I don't. I have made two very good writer friends here/on AO3, one of whom only joined on here so we could chat, and with the other one I might meet up at some point this year! And there's nothing about these relationships that feels particularly parasocial to me. I think if you start looking or keep an open mind, tumblr is the only online place I would trust to actually deliver a real relationship (says the permanently single demisexual... so what do I know. but yeah :D)

I'm glad you're making friends in fandom!

I do think in some ways you're proving my point, though -- you don't think of me as someone who would struggle to date, but you only know me from tumblr. Even if you've known me from tumblr for a long time, which does convey more knowledge of a person, it's still a medium with a lot of filters on it, and I use those very deliberately at times.

And this is my community -- I don't want to be creeping on people here, even if I know how to go about it in a non-creepy fashion. When I was younger I did occasionally have relationships in fandom but they tended to end badly for reasons that eventually made me realize it was a bad idea to begin with. And at this point anyway it'd feel weird, like hitting on someone at a family reunion.

I'd love to think that as an amiable person who was literally diagnosed as charming I wouldn't struggle to find a partner, but that's why I think it's not really something I can change, it's just...a thing that is. Don't know why, but there's a lot of things I don't know. It's difficult to try the usual things, speed dating and singles nights and meetup groups and apps, and get consistent radio silence back while watching some real true dipshits find someone to tolerate them, but it's also reasonably hard data, especially after a certain sample size. There comes a point where you look at the potential return on investment and say, "Well, I guess that's not going to happen for me." It sounds sad and it is at times, but as I said in notes on the other post, I've never felt incomplete or like I couldn't go out and live life without a partner. It's just one part of life, and part of being an adult is accepting that we don't always get everything we want.

[one-green-frog]

Post Surgery Cuddles

Hobie x ftm!reader

Fluff

Thank you for requesting anon, and sorry this took so long as you know tumblr isnt really nice to me rn :)

Y/N spent the day sitting on the couch and being pampered by Hobie, his lovely boyfriend. Just a few days ago, he finally got his top surgery, after many long nights working overtime and saving like a mad man. Hobie, the supportive boyfriend that he is, also occasionally contributed to the funds and Y/N luckily decided not to comment on the not so legally acquired money. Right now Hobie is in the kitchen preparing a neal for both of them, the surgery was draining for both of them. He was worried that soemthign might go wrong during it, but luckily Y/N came out drowsy and disoriented .

"They took my boobs" will forever be ingrained in Hobie's mind, and nothing will stop him at reminding his boyfriend of the many, many embarassing things he said while doped up on pain medication.

Y/N couldn't wish for a better partner in life, Hobie always prioritized him, he even "neglected" his Spider-man duties for him. The pre-surgery anxiety really hit him hard and he is so thankful that Hobie stayed with him all the time. Late night movies that turned into a cuddle session, home-cooked meals that turned into an eating contest, it didn't matter, Hobie was always there to take his mind off of any bad thoughts.

While this was great for Y/N you needed all the support and kind words Hobie offered his absence in a certain HQ caused some troubles. Especially for Miguel. But let's be honest, Hobie wouldn't care what Miguel thinks of him, his boyfriend needed him and that was all he could think about. Although he did forget to mention his leave to a certain group of spider-teens, who decided to take matters into their own hands.

Miles, Gwen and Pavitr all came to Hobie's dimension and started to look for him at their usual meet-up spots, but unfortunately they couldn't find him anywhere. As they ran out of places to look, Pav suggested tracking his watch, Miles was hesitant at first but he didn't have a better idea and they wanted to make sure that Hobie was actually alright. When they pinned down his location and arrived they weren't expecting to look through an apartment window at a romantic Hobie spoon feeding who was presumably his partner.

Sensing some eyes on them, both Hobie and Y/N turned to look out the window and saw 3 pairs of eyes looking back at them. Not wanting to force them to stick on the wall outside, Hobie opened the window for the teens to crawl inside. They stood there, embarrassed for being caught, but also glad that Hobie was still alive and well, the uncomfortable silence growing larger by the second as Hobie just sat down next to his partner again, a smug look on his face.

"Sooo.... uh, we didn't mean to..to interrupt you two, " Miles said awkwardly, removing his mask. "We were just worried since you didn't show up... for quite some time, 0" Gwen chimed in, all the while Pavitr used the time to admire the appartement and talk about how great it was decorated.

"Sorry, but my boyfriend here needed mew and thinking that my sudden absence would also piss of Miguel I killed two birds with one stone. Although I did seem to forget to tell you lads. "

Realizing that Hobie was alright while also hinting for them to leave so he could spend some quality time with his boyfriend, the teens left. Through the window.

Finally getting the peace and quiet back into the apartment, Hobie began to tell Y/N some stories about the gangs adventures while feeding Y/N, who still persisted that he didn't need that much help. The rest of the day was spent with his and cuddles and the occasional pill when the pain from the surgery intensified.

Again I'm sorry this took me so long to finish, i hope you like it.

[cyberpunkaddict]

2023 Letter.

Here we are again. It’s been a year since my last letter. This is my last post for 2023. I included a bunch of unreleased VP again.

Read the letter below:

This year has been a rollercoaster in many ways. It’s really easy to focus on the negative because it seems to take up so much space. But it’s important to take some time and think about the positive in life too to get some perspective.

Life is made up of tiny moments of happiness after all. ❤️

The Cyberpunk 2077 community is very important to me. "Stuff" we may or may not agree with is bound to happen no matter where we are, IRL or online. But no matter who you are, in the end we all want the same things; feel like we belong, make connections with people, escape real life for a while, have fun and feel safe.

I'm a broken record lol, but... Without you there wouldn't even be a community whatsoever. Thank you for being part of it and making it fun! ❤️

So, back to reminiscing on 2023...

If you know me, you know I'm a stubborn perfectionist. With that comes pessimism, but I’ve grown and gained a more positive outlook on life, which is something I’m proud of. It's not often I'm proud of something, striving for perfectionism and all, so admitting this is a huge achievement for me. I know I'm always gonna be a perfectionist when it comes to my art though, but that just forces me to be a better artist, so it's not all bad... As long as I don't overdo it, which is something I'm working on. My goal for 2024 is to stop being so hard on myself and upload more to Tumblr. ❤️

I started doing OC gif giveaways this year, and I definitely wanna do more, and not just gifs but VP too. I do these because I want to spread, excuse the cringe lol, happiness and positivity. I love to give back. It gives me purpose in life.

I started modding as well, which I wanted to do for months, but I was too scared because it seemed so complicated... But I did it. I'm proud I went out of my comfort zone for once.

So, Dear Everyone ❤️, once again...

Thank you for sharing your incredible art, writing, cosplay, mods, and the list goes on. I hope 2023 treated you well, if not, let's make 2024 beyond amazing! I want you to know that you make my day better no matter what is happening in my life. The simplest joke in a tag or a simple hi in a DM make me smile and laugh. And if this is how I feel, just know you make other people you've never met before feel this way too. I think that's pretty cool.

One day I might have to leave Cyberpunk 2077 behind, because that's how life goes sometimes. And that’s sad to think about... I’m not ready to put it behind me yet. At the same time it means that this community, and my OCs and yours will always have a place in my heart.

I will never forget you.

Here's to another year filled with lots of happy moments. ❤️

Bye 2023! Hello 2024!

Vicky

To everyone who made it this far, I have a little surprise... I’d like to do VP with one of your OCs. Comment on this post and tell me what you’re proud of in 2023. In a week-ish I’ll pick a random person (from the comments). :3

❤️❤️❤️

[steamberrystudio]

31/12/2023 Devlog

Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuff! Except I skipped one because I can't remember why.

I half-wrote it but I think I just wasn't feeling up to finishing and posting.

I haven't been doing extremely well health-wise lately but still powering through.

Summary

Finished writing Chapter 5.5 (the new chapter in WSC)

Finished editing Chapters 6, 7, and 8 of Asher's path

Finished all the profiles for the GS lore book

Have started wrapping up the "side stories" and additional content for the GS lore book

Ramble

Okay so in my last update I was in the middle of editing chapter 5 and was nearly to the start of chapter six in editing Asher's route. I finished up chapter 5...

At that point when I was looking ahead, I started feeling like I wanted to add in a transition scene to move between Chapter 5 and Chapter 6.

As I started plotting out this scene, one of my ideas took on a life of its own and I realised that it might be better to interject a new, fleshed out story incident that would allow me to slow the pacing as well as flesh out the setting and universe a little more. This incident would also let me tie into some earlier events and connect them to something that occurs in chapter 6, also foreshadowing the chapter 6 incident.

Ultimately, this became too much to call a "scene" and I decided to branch it off into a supplementary chapter (IE a chapter a bit shorter than the others and meant to be released along with another chapter.)

Then that chapter ended up being 30,000 words.

So that happened.

After finishing that I went on to finish editing chapters 6, 7, and 8. I am currently on chapter 9. I only have a few more chapters before I'm finished editing Asher's path. As always, during my edits, one of the main things I do is flesh things out.

So obviously the word count has grown from that (and, you know, the 30k extra chapter I invented).

Currently the word count is 468,000 words.

Other Stuff:

I have received several new BGs and a new BG sketch. BGs are continuing to come in at a fairly steady pace.

I now have all the BGs for The Ophelia and the artists are working on other locations finally. OwO

I've also been, here and there, doing small tweaks to the sprites, small additions and fixes.

Gilded Shadows:

As I mentioned, I finally got through all the character profiles. There are so many more characters than I remembered in this game.

Then I got halfway through and realised that I forgot five. And had to insert them, which...meant rearranging pages, which is a pain in the butt. However, that is now complete.

What I'm working on now is finishing up some of the short stories and drabbles I have planned or partially written out and getting them into the lore book. 

As well as gathering any other content. The lore book is currently about 350 pages. And I am really hoping to wrap it up soon.

Upcoming Weeks:

Next couple of weeks I will be trying to wrap up the lore book and wrap up editing Asher's Path.

When I finish editing Asher's path I'll be moving on to finish drafting the end sequences for the four remaining characters. I'm starting to have an idea of where the word count is going to end up but will have a better idea for sure when Asher's edit is complete.

I have written over 100,000 words since mid-August, just plugging away and trying to hit at least 1000 words a day.

I hit my year end word count goal of 466,000 words for When Stars Collide but unfortunately did not finish the draft because the draft has grown in size.

But I am really hoping to finish it early next year so we can fully move into phase 2 of When Stars Collide.

I am also hoping to get the final KS stuff resolved for Gilded Shadows early next year as well (the lore book, art book, and some residual art and stuff).

For now, I shall just keep plucking away at it until it's all done.

And that is all for now. I will see you all next year.

[ihavethedreamies]

Within an Inch of Your Life | Shownu

Son Hyunwoo (Shownu - MONSTA X)

Rating: M (18+) MDNI!!

Word Count: ~4.6k

Pairing: Shownu x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Romance, Some Angst, Very Little Plot, Very Dirty

!!This is SMUT...if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now. This is lowkey-highkey filth. Plain filth!! Some angst in the beginning but it goes away.

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Oral (M!Receiving), Deepthroating, Fingering, Pet Names (Pumpkin, Princess, Sweet Girl, etc.) Very Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom or the like. Reader is on the pill in this story.)

Author's Note: This is my first fic, holy cow. I've written others but this is the first I will be posting considering I have well over 200 notes on my Shownu appreciation post. I actually wrote this a few months ago but just go around to making sure everything makes sense. I do not have a Beta…because that was always what I did…I was a Creative Writing Major and since I have never been docked in grade for grammar or punctuation errors, I think I'm qualified.

Uh, you just learned a lot about me just by the fact that I wrote this >.>

I am cross-posting this on Archive under the same name. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on Tumblr my name and icon are exactly the same on the other two sites. Happy reading!

You stared at the ceramic cup on your bathroom vanity, the cheap blue toothbrush glaring back at you. It sat in there amongst your own teeth cleaning products, mocking you. The bright color stark against the black and white of everything else in the bathroom, even your own toothbrush. Reaching out you placed your own that you had just finished using in the cup and grabbed the blue one. Staring down at it, you weren't sure how to feel. It had been a few weeks now, since it's been used. And it never will be again. Blinking, then sighing, you left the bathroom, stopping next to the trash can outside the door near the kitchen. Your foot rested on the paddle used to open the lid, inhaling and exhaling, then pressing down. Your hand holding the toothbrush lingered over the gaping bin. Swallowing a lump in your throat you didn't expect to be there, you gripped the brush tight. Emotion whelmed in you, but you couldn't pinpoint what kind. Were you angry? Guilty? Sad? Fuck it. You harshly threw the brush in the can and let the lid slam closed when you took your foot off the peddle.

"What's with the aggression?" Hana called to you from the other side of the apartment where she was on your couch. She was rubbing sleep from her eyes as she sat up from her sleeping perch.

"Don't worry about it." You were still staring at the trash can, now closes. You heard her bare feet patter on the hardwood floor, and she comes up to you. She blew her nose into a napkin she grabbed from the counter behind the can. You stepped out of the way to let her throw away the used paper.

"Oh." Realization hit her. She saw the toothbrush, which was the only thing in there. You moved away and into the kitchen to get your coffee ready as she took a place on a stool at the counter.

"What even happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you two break up?" she asked you and you exhaled. Grabbing a coffee mug, you put the cup on the perch of your coffee maker and pressed the largest button. You didn't answer.

"Was he bad in bed or something?"

"No."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"No."

"Controlling? Possessive?"

"No. Not really."

"Then why? You don't seem all that torn up about it."

"It’s a bit of a relief…"

"A relief? Why?"

"I…I was pity-dating him."

"WHAT!?"

"Calm down. He had been in love with me for years, and I felt bad for turning him down so much…Also, I was, frustrated without Young Hoon being here…"

"So, you used him? That's harsh."

"Look, he wouldn't leave me alone, kept asking me out, getting me things. Might as well make it easier and say yes…"

"So, why did you break it off?"

"I didn't."

"He broke up with you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I told him."

"Told him what?"

"That I was pity-dating him…"

"Fuck. That must have been rough."

"Yeah." You stared down as the swirling liquid in your cup, having stopped stirring the cappuccino mix in.

"I felt so guilty, I had to come clean." You rested back against the counter crossing your arms, somewhat hugging yourself.

"Why? Why not just break up with him? You had to tell him?"

"Yes."

"What made you do that?"

"Because…" Your words get caught in your throat, the realization hitting you.

"B-because. I can't lie to those I love." Your voice cracked and her face softened.

"You fell in love with him."

"Y-yeah."

"Then why not stay in the relationship?"

"I don't want a real relationship with him built on a lie. I had to come clean." You stood up straight, ignoring your drink and going to sit on your bed. You buried your face in your hands, your throat caught as you swallowed, your eyes burned.

"Oh, girlie." Hana followed you, sitting on your bed next to you, and pulling you into a hug.

"I'm such a fucking horrible person." You sobbed, and she rubbed your back.

"I love him. I do. I was in denial. It hit me so suddenly and so hard, I think I must have felt that way longer than I realized. God, forgive me." you cried, and she held you. Her phone went off as your sobs subsisted as she went to answer it.

"Shit. I have to get to class. I'll message you later." She kissed your forehead and gathered her stuff, leaving your apartment. Leaving your cooling drink on the kitchen counter, you curled up in bed and fell back asleep.

~*~*~

"(Y/N)!" Hana slammed her palm on the door, ringing the bell a few times. She knew you were home. She could see your bag and keys on the table through the window. You hadn't answered her calls or texts for three days and wouldn't answer the door.

"Hana?" A man's voice caught her attention and she turned to see Hyunwoo coming up the stairs to get to the second-floor apartment.

"Shownu! What are you doing here?" She quieted her voice, not sure how you might react if you heard. She knew your recent lack of actions was due to the breakup, and your revelation of feelings for the man.

"I was going to get my stuff and leave my key." His voice was noticeably flat, and the woman couldn't read his expression.

"You have a key!" Your friend lunged forward, snagging the set of keys from his hands. She shoved the metal into the lock and opened the door.

"(Y/N)!" she shouted, storming in.

~*~*~

You buried deeper into your pillows and sheets as Hana banged on your door. You didn't want to see anyone, not even her. You felt you didn't deserve her comfort. You were a shitty person who did a shitty thing. You flinched when you heard a key in the lock, wondering who the hell was there. Hana didn't have a key, and only your aunt did as the landlord. You had given the second key to your ex…to Hyunwoo.

"(Y/N)!" The other woman's harsh shout broke the silence you had been dwelling in. You hoped your uncle was there too, who else would have let her in? You are jarred to attention as your friend yanked your comforter off of you and the bed.

"What?" you snapped, and she climbed on the bed, flipping you over and forcing you to sit up.

"You bitch! You left me on read!" She put you in a playful headlock and ruffled your unkempt hair. You had showered, but a hairbrush? Who is she? You shoved Hana off, and she got off the bed, stomping away. When she came back you heard another set of footsteps along with hers, too heavy to be your aunt.

"The only way you are going to get over this pity party you threw yourself is by telling the truth!" Hana snapped, dragging your now ex-boyfriend into view past the half wall that separated your sleeping area from the living room. He stood there, staring at you. You wouldn't meet his gaze. Hana moved into the kitchen, looking in the fridge and hastily writing stuff on your grocery list pad.

"I am going to go buy you food, you two better talk!" She pointed at you sternly, then at him, and then left. You are left in silence with him.

"W-why are you here?" Your voice was scratchy, your mouth dry.

"Came to get my stuff." He nodded toward the dresser drawer where his stuff was.

"Ah." You licked your chapped lips. You hadn't drunk or eaten much in the last three days. He could tell, he knew you well. He left your direct line of sight and went to retrieve a bottle of water from your fridge. He came back and jutted it into your face. You took it, not meeting his eyes. Your small sips turned into big gulps, the cool liquid a sweet relief.

"What was Hana talking about? You telling me the truth?" Luckily, you had swallowed before he asked so you didn't choke. Closing the bottle, you threw it further up your bed. You brought your bent legs up, your knees touching your chest. You chewed on your thumbnail, not knowing how to start.

"You wanna tell me why you broke my heart?" His tone was harsh, a tinge of sadness in his tone. Your breath caught, the stinging in your eyes came back.

"It would have hurt less if you just broke up with me. But telling me you only dated me out of pity? I love you; I have for years-"

"I had to tell you."

"Why?"

"I couldn't keep lying."

"Why not? You had been doing it for nearly seven months." His voice was sharp with anger.

"I-I cannot…" You swallowed a lump, fighting to not cry, "I cannot lie to someone I love."

You're not sure what his reaction was, you didn't look up at him.

"What?"

"I couldn't keep lying to you. I love you-" You didn't even get the chance to work up the courage to look at him. His hands went quickly to your jaw, hauling you close, up and out of bed. His lips found yours. The kiss was different from all those before. You could feel how strong his emotions were. He was rough, domineering, barely letting you breathe. His tongue wrapped around yours, sucking you in. He was practically bent over you, being nearly a foot tall, your neck tipped back far to make up for the rest of the distance. You whined, your hands gripping his shirt from under his jacket. Hyunwoo swallowed you and every little noise you made. As he pulled away, he bit your bottom lip, the tang of blood hitting your tongue. He stepped back abruptly, running his hand through his hair.

"Fuck. Don't play with me." He shook his head, and you sat back on your bed.

"I'm not. I didn't…I only realized a few days ago how I felt…"

"What am I supposed to with this, huh?" He paced a bit, roughing his hair up.

"Do what you want. Whatever you decide…" You drifted off, not sure what you wanted him to do. You wanted him to kiss you again. But you felt you deserved him leaving and never talking to you again. You felt he should break your heart, like you did him.

"Part of me wants to walk out of here and never think about you again." He finally said and the words pierced you. A tear rolled down your cheek.

"Another part of me wants to give you another chance…" You closed your eyes, willing the tears back.

"But there's something else I really, really want to do." You heard him come closer but refused to look at him. You gasped as his hands dug into the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back, making you look up at him.

"W-what?" His lips were so close to yours and while you're not sure what he wanted to do, you wanted it too.

"Please, whatever you want." You whispered, but his lips didn't meet yours. His tongue doesn't stroke yours. His mouth went to your ear…

"I'm going to fuck you within an inch of your life." You gasped at his words, then found yourself briefly in the air as he threw you back on the bed. Hyunwoo tore his jacket off and finally brought his lips back to yours. His strong thigh jammed between your legs, rubbing against your core, covered only by your thin shorts. His large hand ran down your thigh, hitching it up to his and he grinded his growing hard on into you.

"Fuck." You whimpered as he pulled away from the kiss, a trail of saliva connecting your lips. He stared at you intensely till he dipped back down, He latched onto the weak point on your neck, under your jaw, almost your throat. His mouth sucked hard then he bit the flesh making you shiver. You lay there and let him do whatever. He left scathing kisses, sucking bruises onto your skin. They were everywhere: your neck, shoulders -once your shirt was off- your chest, breasts, ribs, stomach. He avoided anything covered by your tiny shorts, giving you more marks on your inner thighs. Your skin was on fire, and you didn't think you cum with just that stimulation, but you were close.

Hyunwoo sat back on his knees, pulling his t-shirt over his head and never before had you been so enthralled. Your type was normally guys that had a dancer's body and were pretty, nothing like him. He was devastatingly handsome and while you normally wouldn't care for the taught pecs, ridged abs and sharp v-line of his hips…He truly did look like sex incarnate.

You wanted to sit up, reach for his belt, pull his pants down and let him fuck your throat. But he was in control, entirely. You weren't exactly ever a dominant lover, not really even a switch, but this time it was wholly up to him what happened. Your mouth watered at the sigh for the first time though, your romantic feelings fueling your sexual ones. He undid his belt and removed his jeans, his hard cock tenting his boxer briefs. Was he always that big?

"Something wrong, pumpkin?" You could hear the smirk in his voice. Due to your previous feelings, or lack-there-of, you never really gave him a good look. He was just your brother's stupid friend. You were getting a real good look in now.

"Y-you, uh…" Your mouth watered.

"Wanna taste?" He gripped himself over the fabric and you nodded quickly. He huffed in amusement. Despite the fact you loved a dick in your mouth, you had never done it to him. Didn't let yourself, lest you get hooked. He motioned with his head for you to come closer and you crawled across the bed to where he stood at the foot of it. Your bed was the perfect height to allow your face to be perfectly level with his cock. You let out a whimper and he titled his head, watching in amusement. With shaking hands, you reached for the waistband of his boxers and carefully pulled them off. Your mouth watered as he was revealed to you.

"Fuck." You exhaled, watching his dick bob in the air as he stepped out of his underwear. Wiggling your jaw back and forth, you thanked the stars that so many strep-throat tests as a kid killed your gag reflex. You couldn't believe that he had been inside of you before. It made you wonder if your stomach bulged from his girth.

"You just gonna stare?" He stepped closer and you scooched the little bit closer you needed to. Wrapping your lips around the head of his cock, Hyunwoo exhaled in relief, and you groaned at his taste. You rolled your tongue around him like a popsicle, and he tipped his head back with a sigh. Without going much further than the tip, you sucked hard and pulled back. This made him bury his hands in your hair to prevent you from going anywhere.

"What?" He tilted your head to look up at his face.

"Fuck me. My mouth." You cleared your throat, and he blinked in shock before a devious smirk broke out on his handsome face.

"Really? You sure?"

"Please, please-" You opened your mouth as wide as you could, and he slowly thrusted his dick into your mouth. The deeper he went the more saliva built up in your mouth, starting to drip. The head reached the back of your throat and he moved to pull back his hips, but you stopped him. Your hands flew to his behind, pulling him closer.

"Fucking hell, (Y/N)." His voice had a hint of a whine to it. He was the perfect length. Your nose hit his pelvis, his cock buried in your throat, but not too deep. While somewhat restricted, you could still breathe when he would pull back; that fact made your walls clench, aching to be filled as well. You shuffled a bit, splaying your knees more, lowering you just a bit. This let him angle his cock down a bit more and you looked up at him expectantly. He practically growled at this and began to thrust into your mouth. Tears spring to your eyes; you weren't sure if it was from what he was doing or the fact that it was happening at all. Drool dripped down your chin, tears from your eyes, and wet from your cunt. You wouldn't be surprised if when he came -down your throat preferably- that you too would climax. His thrusts picked up some, got shallower and his grip pulled at your scalp. The slight sting from your hair, the fat head of his cock battering your throat, and the taste of his precum was sending you into overdrive. While not one for sado-masochism or bondage, a little pain was nice. In the back of his mind, Hyunwoo marveled at the fact that you had not gagged yet. He was too focused on the wet vacuum of your mouth to think about it too much though. The sight of your lips swallowing his swollen cock over and over was orgasmic in itself, but the looking your eyes was what sent him over the edge. They were glazed over in pleasure; you already looked so fucked out.

"(Y/N), can I come inside?" He grunted out and you moaned, wanting nothing more.

"Ah fuck." His hips stuttered and you felt the hot, thick cum spray down your throat. He was so deep you almost couldn't taste his release, which…Just. Kept. Going. You swallowed what seemed like over and over and over before he was done.

Hyunwoo pulled out slowly, his cock still half-hard. You caught your breath, finally getting a normal amount of air. Your core was quivering, and you knew you had cum as well from the amount of wetness stuck to the fabric of your shorts. That and your head was swimming.

"Oh, princess." He shook his head, breathing hard himself. You peered up at him with a dazed look and he had never seen you like this. He had seen you close to like this once, your true submissive nature blooming forth. He knew you would let him do anything he wanted, and man was there a lot he wanted to do to you. He had promised to fuck you within an inch of your life, and he was going to make good on it.

"What do you want me to do to you now, sweet?"

"Anything." You keened and he groaned. Then he remembered something. While you had never said it before, he knew you had a thing for hands. You had told him once he wasn't allowed to wear rings because it made his fingers look too good. How easily would you fall apart on his fingers? How many times could he make you come tonight?

"You still on the pill?"

"Yea."

"Good." He hadn't brought any condoms, not thinking this was going to happen when he left his apartment this morning.

"Scoot up." He ran the back of his finger over your cheek, still damp from tears and you scurried up the mattress. You lay back as he climbed over you; he watched you watch his hand move to your core. He raised an eyebrow as he stroked over the fabric of your shorts. You tended to get very wet very easily, but this was much more than usual.

"Did you cum?" He asked and you nodded sheepishly.

"Oh my god." He dove in, latching onto your lips, not caring that you had just been sucking him dry. Your teeth clacked against his from the messy kiss. His kisses moved from your mouth, down your neck and he settled on your throat again. You were already littered with hickeys, but he was ready to leave more. As he marked your further, he pulled your shorts off roughly, a slight ripping noise coming from the seams. He tossed the last piece of your clothing away, you never slept with underwear on. Finally, his fingers touched your bare pussy and you whined.

"Oh (Y/N)." He chuckled, burying two fingers in your hot cunt, his thumb finding your swollen clit. You released a long shaky moan, clenching around the digits. He found your weak spot quickly and your hips tilted up, your back arching. You wanted desperately for him to pull his fingers out and fuck you with his delicious cock already, but you refused to say anything. This was for him; he could do whatever he wanted to you, and you would thank him. How had you not realized that this man was the sexiest one on the face of the earth? The pads of his fingers rubbed against your g-spot in just the right way, and it was driving you crazy. His two fingers moved separately, the way they curled and thrusted making the sensations unpredictable. He added a third and spread them, getting you ready for his huge cock. You could feel the strength in his hands, you felt his knuckles rub against your walls, and his palm grinded against your clit.

"H-Hyunwoo!" Your hands landed on his chest, your nails digging into the skin, your release building faster than either of you expected.

"Cum for me, sweet girl." And you did. The breath was knocked out of your lungs, flashes of white dotted your vision. You heard him chuckle, but it sounded like he was far in the distance, rumbling through the air and cutting through the ringing in your ears. When you came down from your high, your vision sharpened and you saw him smiling down at you. He came closer, bumping his nose against yours, touching his forehead to yours.

"I love you." he whispered, and you hitched a sob, reaching up to cup his jaw. Your thumbs stroked the arch of his cheekbones.

"I love you too." He kissed you softly, his fingers leaving your pussy. His hands cupped your thighs, hitching them up to wrap around his waist. You pulled back from the kiss with a gasp as he stroked his cock against your cunt, fully hard again. Hyunwoo knew he was teasing you, rutting against you, covering his dick in your wetness but refusing to enter you.

"Please, please, please." You began to beg; you weren't even close to ashamed. You needed him inside of you, rearranging your insides, carving himself into you, ruining you for everyone else. His hands came up to yours that were still on his cheeks, wrapping his fingers around yours, and pinned them up by your head. With great dexterity, he shifted his hips and began to slip inside of you, still holding your hands. His lips hovered over yours, not quite meeting, your mouth hung open in a silent moan as he split you in half. Not only had it been a while since you two had sex; you hadn't gotten yourself off either. No fingers, no vibrator, nothing. He groaned as he settled deep inside of you. The head of his cock almost touched your cervix, your walls gripping him tighter than they ever had before. Your legs held him close, your ankles linked, it seemed your body refused to let him go. He just sat inside of you, giving you small kisses, letting your walls get used to the stretch. His cock was so deep, it felt like he was in your throat and the delicious burn of the stretch was addicting. It never felt this good before, you used to think the idea sex felt better the more you loved the other person was bull. No. You were in euphoria, and he hadn't even moved yet.

"Can I move?" he asked, resting his forehead on your collarbone. He really just wanted to fuck you into the mattress, but he wanted this to last as long as possible.

"Yes." you gasped out, preparing for him to knock loose your kidney but he barely pulled out and then slowly thrust back in, grinding his pelvis into yours. Even this slight movement knocked the wind out of you. The next thrust was a bit faster but just as shallow and his breath mixed with yours as he hovered over you. Not pulling out any further, his hips pumped hard, and you threw your head back. Hyunwoo moved his hands from holding yours to wrapping one around your wrists. His free hand moved to your lower back to shift you some. With your legs wrapped around his waist, when he sat up on his knees more your butt left the bed; he handled you into a near mating press. Somehow, he got deeper, and you knew if it was a thing, your cervix would be bruised.

"I don't think I can hold back anymore." He grunted; his eyes closed in concentration. What the hell were you in for if this was him holding back? He had never taken you like this before. You 'made love'. This, this was him fucking you, like he promised.

"Do what you want." you pled. He had stopped moving and you desperately needed him to keep going.

"You have anywhere to be the next few days?"

"No?"

"Good, because I don't want you to be able to walk when I'm done with you." He gave you a devious smirk, pulling away to rest back on his heels. His strong hands dug into the flesh of your thighs where they rested at his side, holding him to you. You let him move them and exhaled harshly as he forced your knees to your ears, completely and easily folding you in half. Still not moving his hips he leaned down so he could speak right into your ear.

"That pill better work good because I'm going to pump you full of my cum." He thrusted, hard. If your breath hadn't left your lungs, you would have nearly screamed. It wasn't a shallow hard thrust like before, no; he pulled out nearly all the way before slamming back in. You could tell how tight your walls were clenching him, desperately trying to hold him in. Not able to tell what part of you wanted him more -your psyche, your heart, or your cunt- you just knew you never wanted him to stop.

"Hyunwoo-" You weren't sure if you could say anything but his name, but his next thrust stopped all thoughts.

"I want my hand shape to be bruised into your skin." He clenched your thighs under your knees.

Another thrust.

"I want to brand you with the feeling of my cock in your cunt so only I can ever satisfy you."

Thrust.

"I want to fuck you on every surface of this apartment." As he recited every filthy desire straight into your ear, he pounded his fat cock so hard into your pussy, you thought he would split you in half.

"I want to paint your skin with my cum and then fill you back up again in the shower."

"I want to fill every part of you that I can. Your pussy, your womb, your mouth, your throat. If you let me, I'll even bury my cock in your ass and paint you white there too."

Your head swam with each word. He was always so sweet and soft before. This was different, he had turned into an animal, and he was determined to fuck you like one.

"I'll do it all. Everything I want. I promise, I will fuck you within an inch of your life."

Masterlist

[starcrossed591]

CDrama Year in Review 2023

I'm still very much a CDrama beginner--I just started watching them in the summer of 2022--but since this is the first year I got into them in earnest, I figured I might as well do a year in review a la @dangermousie (whose lists I have found incredibly helpful in deciding which CDramas I really, really need to go back and watch as part of my CDrama education--so thank you!). So, without further adieu, here is my ranking of 2023 CDramas, in order of least enjoyed to most enjoyed*.

(See also: KDrama Year in Review 2023)

*Disclaimer: *not* a measure of objective quality

10. Royal Rumours: This drama was not great? Meng Zi Yi and Jeremy Tsui were fun, but the story started out messy and got messier. For some reason I still finished it, I think because I had a lingering cold and it was all my brain could handle at the time *shrug*

9. Gone with the Rain: I actually really enjoyed this one! The pacing was inconsistent, but Zhang Nan was fun as the irreverent Mo Xi, and we love a grizzled general. Special shout to the teacher who was not actually evil, just a sad lesbian whose gf disappeared on her

8. Love You Seven Times: Intriguing concept, not a strong enough FL to carry it through. The reincarnation stuff really worked for me at first, especially in their first mortal tribulation (as people, not CGI animals), but I got tired of it pretty quickly. I admit, the gifs of Ding Yu Xi as a sexy cat demon *did* pull me back in, but not enough for me to actually finish the thing, alas

7. Destined/Chang Feng Du: Started out really strong, and then stalled out on me. I think I only got up to about episode 22 or so, after their epic desert crossing and new start in a new state--they lost all narrative momentum for me there. I stopped watching and then just...didn't start again. I do, however, remain a big Bai Jing Ting fan, and will be keeping on eye out for whatever he does next

6. Hidden Love: (Contemporary) Age gap romances are hit or miss for me, but Zhao Lu Si absolutely stole/carried the show for me in this one. Although more fun imo when the main couple are in the the will-they-won't-they phase than in the family melodrama after they get together, still the only contemporary CDrama to get me to give it a go this year--and I'm glad I did

5. My Journey to You: Featuring my favorite murder girlies Esther Yu as Yun Wei Shan and Lu Yu Xiao as Shanguan Qian! Gorgeous costumes and sets, sweeping cinematography, and plot that kept me on the edge of my seat. Full disclosure, I have not actually watched the last two episodes because I got busy and then saw weird chatter about them, so I have no comment on the allegedly weird ending

4. Till the End of the Moon: Look, I know the ending wasn't ideal, but for the majority of its run, this drama owned my entire soul. It also introduced me to Bai Lu as Li Su Su, who inspired my first actual tumblr post (that wasn't a reblog) because I was so obsessed with her. And everyone knows that Tantai Jin is the CDrama ML of the year. 10/10, no regrets at letting it take over my life (and the OST my Spotify) from April to May of this year

3. The Story of Kunning Palace: More Bai Lu is always a good thing, and she's extra fun here as the transmigrated former evil empress and totally-over-your-nonsense Xiang Xue Ning here. The reverse haremness of it all totally shows why Bai Lu is the chemistry queen, especially with the princess (Liu Xie Ning) and cranky, morally grey, would-fail-gym-class strategist Xie Wie (Zhang Ling He). So glad this drama made it out of the CDrama vault and didn't languish indefinitely in censorship hell

2. A Journey to Love: Finished this one two days ago as of this writing and am still not normal about it. Ren Ruyi (Liu Shi Shi) and Ning Yuan Zhou (Liu Yu Ning) lead an exceptionally strong ensemble cast in this wuxia that explores the complicated relationships between love, duty, loyalty, loneliness, and companionship. Ruyi and Yuan Zhou are far and away one of my fave OTPs of the year, but just as compelling are the relationships between friends/brothers/fellow assassins Yu Shisan, Yuan Lu (ugh my heart), Qian Zhou, and Sun Lang. This drama definitely has one of the strongest ensemble casts of the year. And the character growth of Yang Ying from little princess abandoned in the cold palace to who she becomes by the end will stick with me for a long time. Plus another 10/10 OST!

1. Lost You Forever S1: I'm not normally a reverse harem girl, but the longing, loss, and hard resolve portrayed to perfection by Yang Zi as Xiao Yao really did it for me here. This whole drama struck an emotional chord for me, and where TTEOTM consumed my soul, LYF took over my heart. Xiao Yao's relationships with her power hungry, overprotective cousin Cang Xuan; hot snake demon Xiang Liu/playboy archery shufu Feng Feng Bei; and perfectly devoted Tushan Jing are all equally compelling to me, and while I may know who she ends up with in the end, who I *think* she should be with changes based on who's on screen at any given time. And A'Nian, my favorite bratty princess who really just needs some strong parenting, holds a special place in my heart. I know we may never get S2, and even if we do, censorship means it probably won't be what the drama makers are capable of, but I'm so glad for this little piece of absolute perfection. And, again, a top notch OST!

Fave Drama: Lost You Forever, by just a hair over A Journey to Love. See above.

Least Fave Drama: Royal Rumours--truly why did I finish this, what was past me thinking

Biggest Disappointment: 2023 is also the year I read Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir, my very first CNovel! But then I didn't even bother checking out its adaptation, Romance of a Twin Flower, because it got rid of everything that made the novel such an addicting read, including a brilliant, strategic, ice cold FL and an ML who actually kind of sucked at the beginning, only to grow on you very, very slowly over time. I'm grateful that the chatter around the drama is what brought the novel to my attention, but other than that, hard pass.

Favorite Male Character: Lots of good ones this year, but I'm gonna go with Cang Xuan (Zhang Wan Yi) from Lost You Forever. The conflict he faces between getting enough power to protect the people he loves the most and that power making him incompatible with those loved ones is so compelling, and his yearning for Xiao Yao even when she's right in front of him is wrenching. Full disclosure, I also just really love the sound of his voice

Favorite Female Character: This could easily have gone to Li Susu (TTEOTM), Xiao Yao (LYF), or Ren Ruyi (AJTL), but I'm gonna go with Bai Lu's Xiang Xue Ning in The Story of Kunning Palace. Something I really loved about this character was just how jaded Xue Ning really was, even in her second go round at life. Yeah, she wants to make amends for the harm done in her previous rise to power, but that has hardly turned her into a good--or even pleasant--person. Instead, she's incredibly skeptical and still plays most things ice cold, especially with her family. As a bonus, we got plenty of Bai Lu's fantastic side eye as she basically had to do high school all over again when she gets called into the palace despite her very best efforts not to be.

Favorite Ship: Ren Ruyi and Yuan Zhao from A Journey to Love have got to be it. They balance each other out so well, and over the course of the drama, learn to communicate effectively with each other whenever they have a problem. They also recognize that not all problems can be solved by ~love~, which makes their relationship even more compelling when they decide to prioritize each other in a way that respects what the other wants from life.

Favorite Secondary Ship: Little princess Yang Ying and Yuan Lu absolutely broke stole my heart in A Journey to Love. Doomed love even more than the main OTP, these two's youthful romance was such much fun to watch, especially as they egged their respective mentors on in their own romance. Yang Ying's recognition that her first love did not have to be her only love is also something I always love to see, even as it broke my heart that (spoiler) she and Yuan Lu never really had a chance at an HEA. Their relationship really exemplified a key theme of this drama: that you should love the people you love while they're still with you because tomorrow is never promised.

Non-2023 Dramas that I Watched: Two non-2023 dramas I watched that deserve a special shout out are Love and Redemption and The Sword and the Brocade. Love and Redemption prepared me to really appreciate the big swings that Till the End of the Moon took, and The Sword and the Brocade went a little way to filling the Story of Ming Lan shaped hole in my heart. The Sword and the Brocade also had absolutely searing critique of the concubine system, even as it featured one of the most genuinely good-hearted FLs I've seen. Would recommend both!

Most Looking Forward To: Yes, I'm a sucker and the censors (not to mention the characters) will probably break my heart, but I'm still crossing my fingers that Lost You Forever S2 will live up to the promise of part one. See above: still a CDrama beginner, have not yet had all the optimism knocked out of me. Sue me.