#single by choice

[aroaceconfessions]

Ever noticed how "single by choice" is getting MUCH better reactions or even respect than using the word aroace? I've seen articles about "the secrets of being happy alone" and "what you can learn from people who've mastered their life alone" like it's put on a pedestal almost. I often actually say I'm single by choice and usually dont get asked any questions. It's convenient for when you're not up for a discussion at the time.

Submitted March 17, 2023

[positively--speculative]

Younger women fear becoming older, single women and I think that's due to lack of experience and sheltering themselves (oftentimes, unintentionally).

Like, I'm in my mid-30s now and happily *and* willfully single. I'm not alone. I have friends and family. I'm the healthiest and most in shape I've ever been in my adult life and I have my own hobbies. I don't need to schedule my free time around anything but my own energy. I'm open to a relationship but not seriously looking for one.

But society at large tries to speak over happily single women to convince younger women that we're lying to ourselves. People will even tell us straight out we're lying to ourselves or give us a sort of patronizing sympathy when we reject their reassurances that we'll find someone soon. I honestly don't care what people like this think, but I find their confidence that they know me and what I want better than I do very annoying.

[lookslikethatsallthetimewehave]

Octavian is forever alone. By choice.

[chicagosfinest2021]

"I am not married because I do not want to be. I am not married because I have not seen any iteration of the institution that inspires me to want it. To work for it.

A chance to get chosen does not move me.

I am single because I am enough for me."

-Keturah Kendrick, from her book No Thanks, Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone

Finished this book in less than 24 hours, it's probably my new "bible" now 😅 It's the perfect read for Black women like myself who sometimes feel like outcasts because we have opted out of the 3 main so-called "pillars" that have defined Black womanhood for generations: religion, marriage and motherhood.

I chose to liberate myself from these institutions a while back but it's been a lonely journey to say the least. It's hard to connect with other like-minded women in the Diaspora. If you're a Black woman that isn't committing her life to God, trying to find/keep a man and making babies, it's like people don't even know how (or why) you're alive. If I'm not being treated like a heathen with no moral compass I'm looked at as being a useless sack of flesh that no man can trap with a ring or a baby.

But as Ms. Kendrick describes women like myself, we are truly "unicorns". And I'm so glad to know I'm not alone out here.

I'm proud of who I am. I'd rather be myself and misunderstood than be praised for blindly doing what's expected of me. I refuse to be a martyr for my community, especially when we engage in so many practices that I find detrimental and regressive. If any of my sisters out there feel like this is material that they might be interested in, I highly recommend it. It's definitely food for thought if nothing else.

[phoenixxxrizing]

[ethicallysaucedlibraryfaggot]

There is something so delightfully freeing about going out for coffee by yourself with a good book!

As a people pleaser, I have been conditioned to solely find my enjoyment in others and that has ironically lead me to feel isolated and at a loss.

Turning 27, deciding against ever having kids or a significant other has lead me to reevaluate what my values are in regards to community.

It has lead me to seek more genuine connections with those around me as well as to begin to heal so I can be alone in peace.

There is so much more I can say about isolation, the toxic nature of the nuclear family and capitalism but for now I will assure anyone who comes across this; I am broken and traumatised and the happiest I have ever been.

[cmpuopolo]

She's not easy.

A life with her won’t be a walk in the park, so listen closely...

Her past trauma has taught her to build nearly indestructible walls around her heart.

She talks back and stands up for herself because of what she's endured.

Her feelings are easily hurt, and she overthinks everything, often imagining the worst-case scenario.

She needs you to be completely honest and straightforward at all times; she's done with the games and deception from her past.

She will need continuous reassurance, not just with your words, but through your actions every single day.

She battles the voices in her head that tell her she's not good enough.

She struggles with anxiety and depression, and there will be days when getting out of bed feels impossible.

She's still learning to love herself, so she will require more patience and effort than what you might be used to. But I promise you this...

If you prove your intentions are genuine and show her how much you care through your actions daily, you will experience one of the purest forms of love in existence.

[blackgirlslivingwell]

Why Won't They Leave Single/Unmarried Women Alone?

The shaming of single women for not being married is another manifestation of societal norms, traditional beliefs, and gender expectations that continue to influence people's attitudes.

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

Celibacy is hard.

Now before you go labeling me as an incel, I'm not. I CHOOSE to be celibate. I WANT to be celibate It still sucks sometimes though.

It can be isolating. Very Isolating. My primary relationships are with my friends, but for most of them, friendship is secondary to romantic relationships. I've been cast aside by friends before, once they started seeing someone. I just got cut out of their lives almost completely. It's hard to trust that other's won't toss me aside too. It's scary and it's lonely , because even if my friends don't turn their backs on me I'm still on a very different journey than most of them. I am fortunate that most of of my friends and family accept that I am on a different journey, but that doesn't meant they understand it.

[positively--speculative]

I feel like a lot of people would be happier if they changed their views on single people. I have more to add, but I have to eat something.

[jypsyvloggin]

How to get why am I single filter on TikTok?

How to get why am I single filter on TikTok? @notnoahtersigni Just relatable #fyp #relatable #relationship #love ♬ original sound – Trendyrics Tiktok Challenges are a good opportunity to get new followers. By joining a trend, you can benefit from the general interest. I have introduces you to a few of the past Tiktok challenges and given you tips on how to participate. Now it’s time for the…

[suntails]

GAME START

[chicagosfinest2021]

Love seeing more Black women being unapologetically open about their choice to be single AND childfree.

[kala-ya-aan]

No lie. Nipseys spirit told me too look this bible passage up. 😁 #1Cornthians7:32

[bitegore]

Zionists want you to conflate Judaism and Zionism. Zionists want you to believe that Judaism cannot exist without Zionism and that all Jews are Zionists. Zionism would have Jews believe that a Jewish state is the only way that they can be safe from antisemitism and will point to any instance of antisemitism as proof that Zionism is the solution- so Zionism wants gentiles to be antisemitic in their support of Palestine. They want you to conflate all Jews with Zionism and the state of Israel, and they want you to treat all Jews regardless of political affiliation as the face of Israel. Antizionist Jews exist, and incidences of antisemitism ostensibly acting against Zionism will not help dismantle the forces propping Zionism up.

Don't do their work for them.

[hamletthedane]

Very important poll based on a debate I just had:

And the most important question:

WHY THAT ONE? -> tags

(Every reblog is another hour George Lucus must spend in hell wearing the sexy slave Leia outfit)