#slight separation anxiety

[ollieofthebeholder]

to find promise of peace (and the solace of rest): a TMA fanfic

Read from the beginning || AO3 || My Website

Chapter 93: August 2004

Gerry is not, by nature, an early riser. He’s something of a night owl, actually, prone to staying up until the wee small hours with paintbrush and stereo and then collapsing for the better part of the morning. He’s the sort of man who would have worked the swing shift at the factory during the war or taken third watch on a sailing vessel, keener-sighted with nothing to light his way but a quarter moon and the occasional amber glow of a street lamp than with full sun in a cloudless sky, and should he tend towards one of the Fears would be well on his way to being the monster under the bed or the shadow in the alley.

But he can get up early when it’s important, so he steps out into the grey light of pre-dawn, locks the shop door behind himself, and sets off across London.

He doesn’t bother going to the house. It’s going to be chaos this morning, with Aunt Lily probably trying to delay things as much as possible and Martin actually considering staying and Melanie bullying him out the door while simultaneously forgetting half a dozen things, and Uncle Roger in the midst of it all being helpful in the most cheerfully unhelpful way imaginable. He can picture it all in his mind’s eye. No, best he stay away. He knows where they’ll be, so he stops long enough to pick up another pack of Woodbines and smokes one as he makes his way to the King’s Cross St. Pancras Underground stop.

Over the years, Gerry has traveled out of every station in London, most of them a dozen times, and St. Pancras has always been his favorite. There’s no real reason for it, especially since they don’t usually spend a lot of time waiting in the stations—his mother, and by extension Gerry and his siblings, have the timetables memorized and their timing down to almost an art, so they never have to wait more than eight minutes unless there’s a delay. He supposes it’s the memories. King’s Cross, just across the road, is good too, but he prefers St. Pancras if he has a choice. He usually doesn’t.

It’s raining, and it’s also early, which means limited traffic. Gerry leans against the wall just outside the Tube entrance, smokes his cigarette, and waits. There’s a café just over there he could probably wait in if he really wanted to, but he’s afraid of missing them if he does.

Suddenly he sees a familiar car pull up to the curb, exactly where he thought it would. Smiling, he flicks the remains of his cigarette into a puddle and moves towards it as the doors open and the occupants—or three of them, at any rate, he doesn’t know if the fourth is there—climb out.

“Carry your bags, miss?” he asks in his best Cockney accent.

“Gerry!” Melanie drops the suitcase she was starting to haul out back into the boot and hugs him tightly. Since he’s gone on a growth spurt since the last time he saw her, she misjudges slightly, but it’s no less welcome. “Are you just getting back in from—where was it this time?”

“Salzberg, by way of most of the former Austrian Empire. And no, I’ve been back since Tuesday.” Gerry hugs her back. “Been a bit busy, but I wasn’t going to miss this. Hey, Martin.”

“Hey.” Martin smiles brightly and comes over to hug him. He’s hit another growth spurt, too, and for the first time Gerry finds he has to look up at his little brother.

That never stops being a novelty, does it? A voice, tinged with melancholy, murmurs in the back of his mind, and Gerry agrees before it occurs to him that he doesn’t know where that thought, or for that matter the voice, came from.

“I can smell the cigarette smoke,” Martin whispers in his ear, bringing his attention back to the present. “Those things’ll kill you, you know.”

“I know, but you can’t blame me for needing stress relief today,” Gerry whispers back, giving Martin an extra squeeze before letting him go.

Uncle Roger gives him a fond smile and claps him on the shoulder. “It’s good to see you again, Harold.”

“Gerard,” Gerry corrects him automatically. “It’s good to see you, too, Uncle Roger.”

For just a second, there’s a flicker of something in Uncle Roger’s eyes, but it’s there and gone in a flash. “All right, all right. We’ve left it enough time for you to grab something if you hurry. Have you got your tickets?”

“Right here, Dad.” Martin pats his jacket pocket.

“Mine’s here.” Melanie holds up her bag, the one Gerry bought her in Cairo five years ago. It makes him absurdly happy that she’s still using it.

There’s a few moments of confusion as Gerry and Uncle Roger get Melanie and Martin’s luggage out of the boot and Melanie and Martin reassure him several times that they have both money and tickets, and then there’s another round of hugs in the rain. Then Uncle Roger turns to Gerry.

“Where are you going to school?” he asks, sounding slightly confused. “Which train will you be taking?”

“I’m staying right here in London, Uncle Roger.” Gerry carefully doesn’t look at Melanie. “Mum needs me at the shop. But I’ll make sure they get off safe.”

“Oh. Good. Thank you.” That thing flits through Uncle Roger’s eyes again, and this time, it lingers long enough that Gerry is able to identify it—mingled fear and dismay. He knows he’s forgetting things, and it’s upsetting him. “I need to get home to my bride. Make sure you phone when you get safely to school, all right?”

“We will. Love you, Dad.” Melanie hugs her father tightly one more time. “Tell Mum we’ll call.”

“Of course.” Uncle Roger kisses her forehead, then turns to Martin and hugs him as well. “Let us know when your first performance is and we’ll come see you.”

“I will, Dad. Love you.” Martin smiles wanly as he hugs him.

They wave as Uncle Roger pulls away. Then Gerry hefts Melanie’s trunk, which is much heavier than the time she took it to Poland, and turns towards the café. “Come on, let’s get out of this rain and have a bite.”

It’s a forgettable little place, the kind that changes names and hands like a small child changes shirts, but it’s also a place that knows its customers. The food they serve is hot, quick, neat, and above all cheap. Gerry buys breakfast for all three of them and takes it over to the table in the corner.

“How much time do you have?” he asks.

Martin checks his watch. “My train leaves in an hour.”

“Hour fifteen for me,” Melanie says. “Could’ve left later, honestly, but I wasn’t going to ask Dad to come out here twice and…”

“No, I get it,” Gerry assures her. “That’s good, though, it’ll give us a bit of time.” He pauses, then adds, not bothering to hide his smirk, “You’re leaving out of St. Pancreas, right?”

Melanie punches him in the arm, not gently. “Shut up. I can’t believe you let me call it that. At least Martin thought I was talking about a different station.”

“I thought it was cute. So, St. Pancras?”

“Yeah.” Melanie sighs. “Maybe I’ll get lucky and Gordon will be my engine.”

“I don’t think you’re going quite that far,” Martin says. “And he pulled the Express, remember? So if you’re not stopping at the exchange, it won’t be him.”

Gerry laughs. “Speaking of…well, not exactly, but I’ve got something for you.”

Melanie blinks. “For me?”

“For both of you. Hold on.” Gerry reaches under his coat for his bag.

He left Austria ahead of his mother, much to her annoyance, because it’s important that he be here for this. Melanie and Martin are both going away to school for the first time, and Gerry wants to be there to send them off. Especially since, for the first time since they were eight years old, they won’t be attending the same school, or even in the same city. Martin is heading up to Edinburgh, where one of the best music programs in the UK outside of London offered him a place, while Melanie heads to Folkestone and the school her mother attended.

He knows they’re both excited. He’s known that since they started telling him about applying. But he also knows they’re a little nervous, and a little melancholy, and he’s hoping to alleviate that a bit.

There are two packages of roughly the same size and shape, but Gerry was smart enough to put different colored bows on them before he labeled them. He presents Melanie hers first, just because it’s on top. “Go on, open it. Something to help you out when you get there.”

Melanie removes the bow and sticks it on the band holding her hair in place, then rips through the paper and lays the gift bare. She stares at it for a moment, then looks up at Gerry, eyes wide and shining. “For me? Really?”

“So you don’t forget the way,” Gerry tells her.

She touches it lightly, then draws back hastily. “It’s not under glass!”

“It’s canvas. It doesn’t need glass. Go on, you can touch it, the paint’s long dry.”

Melanie carefully traces a line, her face creased in concentration. “What’s that dot for?”

Gerry leans over Melanie’s shoulder as Martin does the same on the other side. “The green one there is Martin’s school, more or less. The blue dot is yours. And the copper one on the close-up map of London is me, obviously, not that you’ll forget where I am. But, you know, if I was going to mark important places on it, I reckoned where we were living was important.”

Melanie laughs quietly as she scans the drawing. It’s not exactly a faithful or detailed map; Gerry didn’t put most of the real cities in the United Kingdom on it. It has all the places they’ve gone for Martin’s birthday or hunting books for his mum, the cities where Martin and Melanie will be, and—most crucially—all the fictional places in England that they’ve been able to work out the locations of: Pepperinge Eye, the Island of Sodor, the Gump…it’s not exactly a map of fairyland, more just an alternate England, or several alternate Englands. Places they wish they could really escape to and be free of the Fourteen.

“I love it.” Melanie lays it on the table and gives Gerry a hug. “Thank you. I’ll treasure it forever.”

Gerry hands Martin his. “And this one’s for you. It’s not the same thing, but I think you’ll need this more.”

Martin is much more methodical about opening his gift, carefully working the tape loose and removing the paper carefully. After a moment, he, too, has exposed a framed picture. He gasps and his eyes fill with tears, but he smiles when he looks up. “Gerry, this is so good. It makes you really want to reach out and take their hands.”

“That was the idea, yeah.”

Melanie looks over Martin’s shoulder. “Do you really think I look like that?” she asks, sounding awed.

Gerry smiles at her. “You do.”

It’s not exactly life-size, but it’ll do well enough, he figures. One of Martin’s deepest, darkest fears is of forgetting faces; he still can’t really remember his grandfather’s, and even if they’re only going to be apart for a few months—this time around, anyway—he’s terrified of forgetting Gerry and Melanie. No matter how much they promise him they know he’ll still love them even if he can’t recall their faces, it still worries him. Add that to the forgetfulness that’s afflicted him since he was Marked by the Spiral, and the only thing Gerry could think of to give him was a picture of them. And he hopes that if Martin knows that Gerry painted it for him, rather than just framing a photograph, he’ll have less trouble believing he’s loved.

Does he really doubt that? The voice in the back of his mind sounds shocked. Doubt you? How can he believe you don’t love him?

Gerry mentally shrugs and tells the voice, His self-esteem isn’t great. It’s not that he doesn’t think I love him, it’s that he doesn’t think he deserves it.

It doesn’t feel like talking to himself, but he can’t quite put his finger on who he is talking to.

“I wish I could do something like this for you,” Martin says softly. “So you don’t forget I love you, too.”

Gerry wonders, for a fleeting second, if Martin is reading his mind, but that’s not the hold the Ceaseless Watcher has on him right now and it would be a cruel thing to do to—well, to anyone, let alone a sixteen-year-old, and especially not to Martin. The last thing Martin needs is to be able to read his mother’s mind and know exactly what she thinks of him.

“Martin,” he says, “I’ve known that for eight years. I’m not likely to forget it any time soon. Cross my heart.”

“I love you, too,” Melanie tells him. She reaches for their hands and squeezes tightly. “Both of you. And, Martin, you write me and let me know when your winter concert is and I’ll try to come too. If nothing else, I’ll see you at the Christmas holidays, right?”

“Of course,” Martin promises. He reaches for Gerry’s hand to close the circle. “Will you come, too?”

“I’ll try,” Gerry assures him. “And like Melanie said, I’ll at least see you over the holidays. I’ll look in on Uncle Roger and Aunt Lily for you, too.”

Melanie frowns. “I wish you could get out of London, too. I know you never went to school like—well, not traditionally, anyway—but maybe you could get into university or something?”

Gerry hesitates, then drops his voice, even though he knows no one is there to overhear. “I’m not going to stay in London. Once you two get through your first term, once we’re sure you’re going to get out, I’m leaving. I’ll come back to visit you two, and then once you go to university, I’ll figure out somewhere to live close to you. Then once you graduate, we can get a house together somewhere Mum and Aunt Lily can’t get at us and start a new life.”

Martin looks hopeful. “Do you really think we can?”

“Of course,” Gerry says stoutly.

“I like that idea.” Melanie grins. “Okay, you’ve got a deal. Once we’re sure escape is possible, we run away together.”

Gerry squeezes their hands and lets go, glancing at the clock on the café’s wall quickly to check how much time they have left. “Oh, it’s possible, all right. It’s more than possible. The three of us together? There’s nothing we can’t do.” He grins. “Including escape our mums once and for all.”

[evilgwrl]

ExHusband!Simon x Reader

You Want a Divorce? (Two)

Note: I feel like this is so bad im sorry!!!!

CW: Angst, titty sucking, passionate asf sex, simon missed ur pussy and you very much and vise versa, breeding kink, PIV (no protection, pls use it irl), squirting, simon eats the FUCK out of ur pussy, multiple orgasms, praise, hint of degradation, possessive!simon, OVERSTIMULATION, slight daddy kink… sorry

Part One

It was a quiet ride, the subtle sweeps of cars fleeting by as Simon gripped the wheel, eyes trailing off to the side to look at you briefly. Your head was leaned against the window, your knees knocking together anxiously as your daughter babbled in the back, cooing about how Mummy and Daddy were now back together.

You tried to hide the shed of tears that filtered across your iris, every small childish mumble like a stab to the gut as you listened to the genuine happiness in her tone. You would turn around occasionally with a small smile as you reached out to tickle her foot, giggles filling the car.

Simon pulled in, the car bouncing slightly as it hit the gravel carpark, his hand swerving into a spot before he turned to the back. “You excited, baby?”

Ella’s face lit up as she fumbled to take off her seatbelt, “Get me, Daddy! Get me! I wanna see the lions!” It was refreshing knowing she still viewed Simon as her hero, no matter how distant he was in their lives. You knew that even though your ex-husband was rarely around, his time with them did everything it could to mend the time apart. Toby woke up at the commotion, the toddler having slept the whole way there despite his older sister’s constant bickering about what animals she had to see first.

Everything seemed to flash past you as you walked inside, the whir of kids and noise sending your brain into overdrive as your eyes flickered to Simon with Ella swinging around on his shoulders and Toby kicking his legs in the stroller. You looked away; breath shaky as you attempted to compose yourself. This was supposed to be a happy day, for all of you, yet seeing him with your children, something that was supposed to be normal, felt so distant and unknown. Gathering yourself, you plastered a fake smile, hands reaching out to pinch your son’s cheeks as you grabbed the stroller.

Your heart hammered in your chest for the remainder of the day, fingers tingling with anxiety that bled into your veins, consuming your lungs with what seemed like everything but oxygen. It was a series of squeals and commotions from your young ones, their elation evident through the bright glow of their face, soft red resting on the apples of their cheeks. As the day quieted down, Toby slumped in the stroller as you tucked him into the car seat, his new plush crocodile cradled into his arms, mouth wide open as subtle breaths snored out.

Ella was cradled into Simon’s shoulder, her shoes half hanging off as she clutched onto him, dead asleep. You settled into the ride home yet your anxiety only seemed to heighten. You were alone with Simon, with no kiddish voices to break the tension, brown orbs glaring into the side of your face.

“Should we talk about this morning?”

You scoffed. “You have some nerve asking to talk about this morning,” you screamed into a hush, “What you did was completely disrespectful. Not only did you break into my house and kick my date out, but you left our kids in the car! What the fuck were you thinking?”

He cleared his throat, almost like he wanted to hold back how he felt. You noticed the white in his knuckles as he gripped the wheel, right eye twitching as he stared at the squiggles of tar ahead. “I don’t want our kids growing up thinking it’s normal for parents to separate. They need their mum and dad together, y/n.”

The world silenced for a second, the screams of the wind rushing past you seemed to slow as your voice cracked, seeps of emotion pouring out as you choked on your breath, “Then you should have fought for your family, Simon. There is no us anymore, it’s just them. They’re all that connects us now.”

You felt like all the ivory had been sucked out of your eyes, endless pits of your pupil consuming you whole, blurring your vision with fog as you blinked, hot streams of liquid salt spilling onto your cheeks, brimming at the cracks of your lips as you sniffled. You could feel his hesitation as he looked at you.

His words regurgitated in his throat as he stammered, tangled limbs reaching out to grip yours as you pulled away.

“Just drop us home.”

Your eyes had dried now, soft stains of bare skin caving through your foundation as you smudged your fingers against it. Simon stuttered as he pulled up to the driveway, tyres screeching to a halt as you sat in silence.

The soft strum of fingers caught your attention as you turned around, the innocent face of Toby looking back at his parents, tongue blabbing out of his mouth. “Dadda! You have dinner?”

“No, sport. Daddy’s gotta go-“

“Yeah, baby. Daddy will have dinner with us.”

You blinked at your own words, Simon’s surprised expression meeting yours. The wrench in your heart would never subside, the entirety of the beating organ still belonging to your ex-husband, but being a mother was a sacrifice. And you would sacrifice yourself in every existence you become one if it meant your children didn’t have to battle the same internal wounds.

“They’re tucked in,” Simon said, voice soft as he noticed your withered body in the couch. Your hair was messy now, strands spitting out as you anxiously tucked them back in, smoothing them down with the dampness of your palms as you ran around all night, ushering to the demands of your children.

“Thank you.”

You felt ill, your tongue cascading down your throat as you palmed at your knees, desperate for him to leave yet desperate for him to stay. Simon stilled, keys jangling in his hand before he sat down next to you, his weight disrupting the couch as he shuffled around.

“I need you to know that I did want to fight for you, y/n. I have counted every single day since you handed me those papers, waiting by my phone every single night on deployment hoping for you to text me, call me, fuck - blow my phone up. I never wanted the temporary absence that we had apart become permanent. Everything I said,” he breathed, voice cracking slightly as he looked away, “Everything I said on October 6th, 7 years ago, I meant. You weren’t supposed to get away from me - I shouldn’t have - I shouldn’t have let you get away from me.”

It was strange. Simon was never one for feelings, the brutality of his job allowed for any harsh emotions to crack through his fingers as he pulled a trigger, any dampness of tears would sweat through his skin as he pummelled a blade into an enemies head.

But it was you. And you weren’t violent, or any enemy, you were his wife, the person he vowed his entirety too.

Your anxious cascade cracked as you whimpered out a sob, chest heaving as you buried your face, tight with tears, into the pillows of your hands. You felt warmth spread through you, the texture of Simon’s fingers burning through you like wildfire, every ember he felt scorching through your flesh as he pulled you in.

Arms tangled together, intwining like wool as he wrapped you into his chest nimbly. A zephyr ran through you, your wrists clutched in his hands as you straddled him, the weight of you feeling like the grandest treasure upon him.

It was nothing strange, nor sexual but Simon recognised that cry, the differing pitch as you shuffled your frame into his. Simon knew you like the back of his hand, every crevice, every crease, every scar. He knew your backstory, and the one you made up to impress people. He knew the hex of the colour of your eyes and the print of your thumb. No papers would take that away from him.

Soaked eyelashes clumped into one as you looked up at him, orbs resembling once of a doe, innocence seeping through every inch of a salt-stained tear. His eyes met yours, apertures of cocoa reflecting your weary frame as you gripped onto him.

“Let me come home, please.”

Simon’s voice was desperate, it was raw, any shed of arrogance erased through the lines, eyebrows knotted together as he rubbed at the small of your back.

Your nod was subtle, but he could practically hear it, calloused hands gripping at the plush of your cheek and seeping through the tip of your spine, thumb rubbing at your earlobe as he clutched onto you.

Hot, seething pricks ran through your limbs as your lips connected, saline lining your mouth as he lapped at the heat of your tongue, rough groans leaving his lips as he savoured the taste.

Any diffidence left your body as familiarity sunk back into you. Hands pawed at the globe of your ass, gripping the flesh as anguished limbs wrapped around Simon’s waist.

With an easy tug, he lifted you, your hands wrapping around his neck as he pulled you in closer, teeth kissing. You never questioned Simon’s strength, and you wouldn’t start now as you felt your back hit your mattress.

He tugged at his shirt, the black fabric pooling on the floor as you sucked in a breath. Your eyes traced every scar, lighter flesh engraved into the skin of his torso, a short trail of hair disappearing into his pants as you stared at his burly physique.

Simon gripped at your shirt, the material practically ripping before his hands were at your chest, grabbing at your flesh desperately as you tangled your fingers into your bra, sliding it off. His mouth was hot on your chest, the sound of moans and pants filling the air as he positioned himself between your legs, teeth grazing the hard nubs, sucking with fervour as you whined, your hand at the base of his head, cradling it.

“Missed these so fucking much,” he practically whined, groping your tits as he pinched your nipples, lips sucking deep marks of possession into the soft skin. Your pants were desperate, begging him for more as you pulled his hair, fingernails clawing at his scalp.

Your hands fumbled with your pants, hips raising as he slid them off, clumsy fingers chucking them across the room as you laughed, lips connecting once more in a giggly state as his thumb pushed against the wetness of your panties.

“Missed how fucking wet you got for me. Such a good fucking girl,” he groaned, fingers rubbing at your heat through the thin cloth eliciting a pained moan from you.

“Simon - I need more, been so long.”

He choked out a laugh as his fingers hooked into the fabric, lace dribbling down your leg before he mewled at the sight of you. His hands held your thighs apart, your soaking cunt on display as it throbbed, slick folds glistening in the poor lighting.

“Prettiest fucking pussy,” he choked out to himself, placing your legs over his shoulder as he knelt down. Your back arched as you felt his tongue lick a long stripe of your pussy, his body seething for a taste of you as his lips found your neglected clit.

He lapped at you mercilessly, your cries and moans moulding into one with the filthy squelches of his mouth against your heat. Long digits circled your entrance, teasing you, before they curled in.

Your eyes rolled, pools of ivory exposed as you let out a guttural moan, your thighs tightening around his ears as he smirked against your pussy. Cocky fingers rubbed at the right spot, favouring the clench of your tight hole as he pulled every noise he could get from you.

You were barely cohesive as he lapped at your slick, the throbbing of your clit edging him on as he soothed your g-spot with the pad of his fingers. The coil you had only ever felt with Simon began to build, the familiar sensation pooling in your stomach as you stuttered out a whimper.

“Si- too much - I’m gonna-“

“That’s it baby,” he cooed, pulling away from your pussy for a second to take in your expression as you came, your face contorted with pleasure as your legs jerked, pussy wrapping tighter around his abusing digits as he fucked you through it with them. You looked down at him, saliva and your slick coating his mouth and chin as he grinned.

You stammered out a groan as his mouth attached back on your pussy, slurping up your liquid gold as you attempted to push his head away in overstimulation.

“Oh my- fuck - Simon - too much,” you whimpered your words commanding him to continue as he guzzled around your clit, teeth grazing the sensitive bud as your legs shook uncontrollably.

It wasn’t long before the continuation from your previous orgasm rose again, heat swarming your lower belly as you screamed out, your hand slapping over your mouth as you felt Simon’s spare hand wrap around your thigh, squeezing tightly.

You pulled at his hair, tugging at the ashy roots before you were gushing around his fingers and tongue again, sloshing liquids soaking your sheets as he groaned at the taste, mouth lapping it up with vigour. You whined in humiliation, the overwhelming pleasure becoming too much as you heaved.

“Si - no more -“

“I’m sorry baby, too fucking good. Will never get enough of your pussy.”

His words were filthy yet only held the truth, his continuous slurps against your heat causing your body to jerk as you relentlessly bucked your hips. Simon’s abuse continued on your pussy, your pussy gushing and coming another 6 times before he was satisfied, the sheet under you drenched in both your slick and squirt as Simon milked your overwhelmed cunt, claiming he was “making up for the months lost”.

You were dry heaving, throat dry as he captured your lips in a kiss, the taste of you infiltrating into your glands as you groaned, his hands reaching to tug at your breasts as he took in your fucked out state, legs jiggling and twitching as your pussy convulsed at the number of orgasms he dragged out of you.

You felt like you had been lying here for hours, yet you weren’t satisfied. You would only be content when he was inside you, stretching you to the brim as he pumped a load inside your worn-out hole.

“Simon - please - I can’t… I need you now,” you were practically crying, tears shedding at the brim of your eyes, bottom lip jutting out as he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, slicking back the sweat on your forehead.

“I know baby, done so well for Daddy, hm? Even after all that you still need to be plugged full of me don’t you?”

You nodded as a harsh slap landed against your clit, your body jolting as you squeaked. “Yes, please,” you cried, “Please Daddy.”

His hands were like clockwork, tearing at his jeans as they released his cock, a satisfied groan leaving his body as he gripped at the tent in his pants, a sticky wet patch soaking the material before his length throbbed out, angry tip slapping his stomach as a trail of precum glistened against the base of his cock.

His dick was flushed red, begging for release as he ran it through the squelch of your sopping folds, rubbing against your manipulated clit as you moaned.

Your hands gripped his head as he leant down to kiss you, his arm holding him up while the other positioned himself at your entrance. He stilled for a moment, cock almost pressing in before he whispered, “I love you.”

“I love you.”

The words were soft yet meaningful, your eyes interlocked as he began to push inside, your mouth gasping open as you clutched onto his shoulders. It was hard when you were together all those years to get accustomed to his frightening length, and now it had been a year and the stretch was searing through you.

“I know, sweet girl, you can take it. Such a tight cunt for me, so fucking good.”

Fingernails clawed at his back as he pushed in, your whines muffled by the palm of his hand as he held himself up his elbows. “Holy fuck,” he spluttered as he bottomed out, his lips connecting to your neck as he sucked, resting inside you for a second as you whimpered.

The burn slowly faded as you rutted against him impatiently, the tip of his cock resting against your sweet spot as you gasped.

“So fucking impatient, always been such a slut for me. Haven’t you?”

You nodded, whining as he began to move, moving his hips slowly as he rubbed inside you perfectly, your mouth wide open as your head lolled back. A series of expletives tipped from your tongue as you choked on the air, Simon’s pace picking up at your dramatic noises.

“Fuck - taking me so well-“ he grunted, hands groping at your tits as he watched your pussy absorb his length. It was an obscene sight and he loved it. Every fibre of your being belonged to him and it was something he constantly craved.

“All fucking mine - shit - my fucking pussy,” he grunted, thumb rubbing at your clit as you mewled, twitching below him as he spat, “my fucking wife - got the tightest fucking cunt just for me.”

You clenched around him at his words, knowing it was true as his balls slapped against your ass, skin spanking against each other as the sound filled the room, ecstasy roaring through both of your veins as you made love.

The squelch of your pussy was taboo as he lapped in the missed sound. His eyes took in the way your body reacted to every movement, no matter how small. He took in the way your breasts bounced with each thrust, lower stomach bulging as he pounded into you.

“Fuck - Simon - oh my God,” your words were a mere blabber, barely making sense as you clutched onto him, pulling him down to meet your lips.

“I can’t pull out, baby - fuck - gotta cum in this pretty pussy. Give you another kid, hm? - shit -“

His hips didn’t falter as his pace fastened, chasing his own high as he rubbed at your clit, your breaths growing shallow as your orgasm began to build. “Gonna fill you with my cum until it takes. Need your belly round again and your tits full - such a good fucking mum, makes me so fucking proud.”

His words were the final straw as the build up in your stomach popped, your whole body convulsing as your pussy clenched around him, a loud groan leaving his throat before you felt the hot splashes of his cum pumping inside you.

“That’s it baby, milk my cock. Such a good fucking girl for Daddy, gonna break you apart everyday on my cock until you never forget who you belong too.”

He didn’t pull out immediately, his cum plugged inside you as some seeped out, rolling down the crevice of your ass below you. Your eyes shut, gentle pants leaving your lips as you felt Simon’s absence before a soft cloth was wiped gently across your sex and masculine arms were gripping onto you, carrying you into the guest room before engulfing you into a thrill of heat, Simon’s chest against your back as you fell asleep.

TAGLIST: @kiiwiipie @nijiru

Disclaimer: im sorry if this is disappointing im super tired :(((

[gojotojis]

When the Party’s Over pt.3

Part 1 Part 2

summary: you and sukuna are now dating, only you’re keeping it a secret but secrets eventually come out.

pairing: college! sukuna x college! fem reader

content MDNI: slight angst ?, bestfriends brother, frenemies, secret romance, soft sukuna, squirting,oral (m receiving) , unprotected sex, vaginal sex, riding, cum eating, fingering, fluff, aftercare, dacryphillia, oral choking, praise kink, overstimulation

This ended up being so fluffy, pls don’t beat me up. Soft sukuna just has me in a chokehold! Also this is my favorite smut I’ve written thus far!

Choso insisted on you coming over for a John Wick marathon, of course Yuki was there, which you didn’t mind. Yuki’s actually really nice to you and her music taste is so similar to yours, you’re constantly making eachother playlists and sending eachother songs you think the other would like. You’ve never had a girl friend so it’s nice.

You sit on the couch next to Yuji whose eyes widen everytime John fires his gun, while Choso and Yuki sit cuddled up on the other side of the sofa.

You have to admit, Johns incredibly sexy. You’d happily sit through four movies soley about him but your eyes keep drifting towards the stairs.

All you want to do is crawl into Sukunas bed and sleep but you can’t. You’re scared for Choso to find out, scared that it’ll ruin your friendship. Sukuna doesn’t care, he doubts Choso will give a shit and maybe he’s right but you’re not ready.

You and Sukuna have only been dating for three months now and you love being in your own little bubble with him. You also love the thrill you get from sneaking around, the way he sneaks you into his house after hours just so you can fall asleep on him.

You’re not sure the separation anxiety you feel is healthy, he’s the only thing on your mind, the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about when you go to sleep. He’s your first boyfriend, your first everything and you hope he’s your last.

It feels so good to be utterly obsessed with someone and them to reciprocate it. It’s also a rush knowing your boyfriend hates everyone but you, that he’s mean in public but when he’s alone with you, he’s on his knees telling you how much he loves you.

You feel like you’re going insane, you need to feel his skin against yours. You’re never not clinging to him like a monkey, making him carry you everywhere. You’re just so obsessed with him, it makes you want to rip your hair out, definitely not healthy but you don’t give a shit.

You anxiously start eating the popcorn Yujis holding, fighting the urge to run up stairs and tackle Sukuna. This is different, so different, whatever you felt for Choso doesn’t come even a fraction close to how you feel about Sukuna.

“I’m so tired,” you fake yawn, stretching your arms up and Yuji scoffs.

“It’s only been an hour,” he says and you yawn again for emphasis.

“I had such a long day, I’m sorry guys,” you say innocently and Choso shakes his head. “Just go to sleep in one of the guest rooms, I can take you home in the morning,” he says and you nod standing up.

Yuji looks at you suspiciously but all you do is offer an apologetic smile before you’re climbing up the stairs. Your fingers wrap the handle to Sukunas door and open it. He’s sitting at his desk, engrossed in a game of call of duty while he curses out someone on his headset.

You lock the door and peel your clothes off till you’re naked. You pull your hair from its ponytail and let it fall to your hips before you walk toward him. He looks to you and then back to the screen before looking at you again with wide eyes and you giggle.

“I gotta go,” he says over the headset.

“We’re about to fucking win!” you hear someone yell at him as you turn the chair to face you. You climb onto his lap and reach for his hand as his teammates scream at him through the headset.

He watches you take his hand and press his fingers against your pussy, covering them in your arousal before you lift them to your mouth and lick them. He throws his head back and closes his eyes.

“I really gotta fucking go,” he says before closing the game, and the shouting stops. He quickly removes his headset and sets downs his controller.

“Hi,” you smile innocently.

“Hi baby,” he breathes before his lips find yours. Your lips brush and tongues lap against eachother. His hands slide over the curve of your waists and up to your tits. His large hands splay across them and he squeezes them hard.

“Does my good girl need some attention?” He asks, his tongue licking the sides of your breasts and you nod.

“How bad?” He asks, rolling a nipple between his fingers as you grind down against his bulge.

“Really bad,” you say creating a bouncing rhythm. He can feel the wet patch you’re making on his crotch. Your fingers reach for the hem of his shirt and he lifts his arms up, letting you take it off.

You’ll never get tired of his body, the ridges, the muscles and the defined v at his hips. Your nails graze his abs before they start tracing over the tattoos on his arms. His body is hot to the touch, and he shivers under your cold fingers.

“You gonna ride me?” He asks. You’re a pillow princess, you love just laying down and taking it while he does most of the work but you’ve never done that before, yet it sounds dirty and you like it.

“Yes,” you say confidently. You’ve only ever done missionary, he knows it’s your favorite, it’s just so intimate, being able to see his expressions and watch where your bodies connect as he fucks into you.

He knows he’s gonna be helping you by the end of this but he pats your ass and you sit up, letting him slide his pants off and his cock springs free. Your mouth waters at the sight and you slide down to your knees.

Your hand wraps around it and he hisses. You watch the way his abs contract when you spit repeatedly on it till it’s nice and sloppy, just how he likes it. You press several kisses to the tip letting precum smear against you lips, teasing him before you lick up the sides.

He groans as you feel the veins against your tongue. He stands up so he can get a better look at you when he slowly inches his cock into your mouth. Your mouth widens as you breathe through your nose like he taught you, tears gather in your eyes, looking up at him until his dick is pressed against the back of your throat.

“Gonna fuck the shit out of this mouth,” he groans and your pussy throbs. His fingers thread through your hair and slowly pulls out of your mouth before plunging back in. His dick is so fucking warm in your mouth, he groans when you lick the underside. He starts thrusting into your mouth, not breaking eye contact as he watches you cry and it turns him on so fucking bad watching the tears flow down your cheeks.

You’re gagging on his dick, your hands gripping his thighs praying nobody can hear you choking.

“So good for me baby,” he grunts, forcing more down your throat and your eyes widen but you try to relax. He’s buried in your throat, your nose touching his pelvis. He thrusts in out, beating the back of your throat, saliva smearing all over your face and dripping onto your chest.

Your fingers find your pussy and you force your middle and index finger inside of you, desperate for a release as you bounce on your fingers. Your mouth cries against his cock, and it’s enough that he’s pulling out. He watches you fingering yourself and loses it, cum hits your face in thick ropes and then your chest, you fingers leave your cunt and you swipe the cum off your lips, sucking them off before you stand up and push Sukuna back down into the chair.

He watches you glide your fingers over your nipples, scooping up cum before you swallow it. You’re a fucking freak, not even close to what he dreamed of, but better.

You straddle him as he leans back, letting you take control. You grip his cock and line it up at your sopping hole. Your eyes close as you slowly sink down onto it, the stretch one of your favorite parts.

Little tremors hit you as your pussy swallows him until your ass is flush against his thighs. He’s so fucking deep, you think you might cum if you move. His full attention is on you, hands gripping the arms of the chair.

You pull up, feeling his cock slowly leave you before you bounce back down. You moan as quietly as you can as you bounce up and down his cock. This feels so good but it’s so much work, work you’re not use to and you look at him with those big doe eyes. He was waiting for this.

“Help me,” you whisper and his hands slide to your ass, lifting you up and slamming you down on him, hard.

Your teeth sink into his shoulder as he slams you up and down his cock over and over, sweat starts to coat your body and your tits bounce with each thrust. You hear gunshots downstairs from the tv, praying they don’t hear Sukuna drilling into you.

“The sweetest fucking pussy,” he grunts as you grind against him, you feel your stomach knot and your pussy clamps as he batters your cervix. You start to shake against him and liquid gushes from your cunt but he doesn’t stop, he never does.

He fucks into you like he wants to touch the tip of your skull, your head lulls to the side, tongue sticking out as you gasp for air feeling your boyfriend demolish your cunt until you’re squirting again and dripping down his thighs.

“Too much ngghh, too much Kuna,” you cry when his thumb rubs at your clit and your eyes roll back. His mouth finds yours and he swallows your screams as you cum together, feeling him flood you with his seed.

You slump against him as he carries you to his bathroom. He turns the shower on and steps inside with you still wrapped around him. You whine when he lifts you off of him and sets you on your feet, your knees are wobbly as he reaches for your pink loofah and lathers his body wash onto it.

He begins scrubbing your body while you turn your face so the water hits it, washing away his cum. You reach for your face wash you left and start massaging it into your face as he gets on his knees.

You shiver as he gently washes your sore and abused pussy. He press’s kisses against your belly as you grab his rag and pour body wash on it. He stands up and you start scrubbing him, at least the places you can reach till he has to take over.

Once you’re done and he’s dressed you in his clothes, you climb on top of him in bed, resting your head on his chest.

“My little spider monkey,” he calls you, the way you cling to him. You look up and smile before kissing his jaw as he scrolls through Netflix.

You all but squeal at the smell of fried food, the flickering multicolored lights and the sound of screaming. You fucking love the fair.

Sukuna fucking hates it, he hates the screaming and the guaranteed vomiting. He still hasn’t forgiven you for throwing up on him in the Gravitron once the ride ended when you were twelve and him fourteen.

In your defense you housed about six funnel cakes, a super size coke slushee and eight fried Oreos that day before you got on the ride. You learned your lesson that day.

Even though he hates it, it’s the smile on your face that makes it worth it as you lace your fingers together and walk around.

You immediately guide him toward the flying swings, the tendant scans your wristbands and you take the seat infront of Sukuna as more people get on.

Sukuna waits for what he knows is coming, he listens to you burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. You laugh manically when you ride rollercoasters and etc, people look at you like you’re deranged while you laugh like the Joker.

It’s fucking hilarious as you look back at him. He can’t help but laugh at the way his girlfriend sounds like a fucking maniac. Even when the rides over you’re clutching your sides laughing. It’s the adrenaline no doubt.

You spend the night riding almost every ride, nearly breaking your neck on the bumper cars when some kid drove straight into you until you were slammed into the wall. Sukuna threatened to kick his “little ass” out the car and he broke down crying which ended in you both banned from the bumper cars.

“He was a pussy,” Sukuna huffs as you lick at your Icecream cone.

“Baby, he couldn’t have been older than eight,” you say and he shrugs leaning down to lick your Icecream. He watches you take a bite with your front teeth and stops walking.

“Only psychos eat Icecream like that,” he says making you laugh.

“Congrats, you’re dating a psycho,” you say taking another bite until your eyes land on something.

Sukuna clutches his ears as you threaten to burst his eardrum with your screaming.

“Fuck!” He says loudly with his finger in his ear. You ignore it as you finish your icecream and tug him toward the booth full of Sanrio plushies. “I want them all,” you say to the worker and she hands you a basketball.

You look down at it with a frown as she points to the hoops behind her. Sukuna hands her money as you toss the ball, watching it bounce off the rim.

You have two more shots and she hands you a ball, you throw it and miss. Sukuna can tell you’re getting frustrated with the way your hands form into fists.

He walks who behind you as you take the last basketball. He presses his hand flat against your stomach and the other one stretches out behind your hand that holds the basketball.

He pulls your joined hands back and lifts you up with one hand so you can throw it and it makes it through the hoop.

“I did it! I did it!” You jump up and down, technically you both did but he doesn’t care to correct you.

“That’s cheating,” the worker says arms crossed.

“Give her the fucking toy,” Sukuna says making the girl get up and walk to the wall of plushies.

“Which one baby?” He asks and you point to a giant My Melody one dressed up as a watermelon, she hands it to you. The things nearly the size of you as you hug it, you beam up at him as he holds your hand.

He brings your joined hands up to his lips and kisses the back of your hand as you walk around. There’s two rides you haven’t gone on yet, the Ferris wheel and the Gravitron.

Sukuna absolutely refuses when you walk him toward the Gravitron. You actually feel bad that you gave him childhood trauma because he plants his feet to the ground and doesn’t budge no matter how hard you pull.

“Please Kuna, we can stand on opposite ends of the ride. I promise I won’t throw up on you,” you beg but he doesn’t budge. You sigh and look down at the ground, like a kicked and dejected puppy.

“You’re fucking annoying” he sighs, pressing a kiss to your temple and grabbing your hand. You smile, leaving your plushie with the machine operator as you both step inside. You giggle as he leans against the wall two mats over.

Everyone gets in and the ride starts, you feel the pressure of the zero gravity at work as your body’s stuck against the wall. The machine ride spins, Sukunas watching you and the expression your face makes. You’re not laughing, not even close.

You feel sick, absolutely sick and dizzy. Your eyes squeeze shut until the ride ends and you’re running out. You lean over the railing, prepared to vomit as you take several deep breaths. Sukuna rubs your back and holds your hair but luckily nothing comes up.

“You’re never going on that ride again,” he says and you nod, you can’t help but laugh once the queasiness leaves you. “You should’ve seen your face, you thought I was going to throw up on you,” you say, pretending to puke on him and he glares, carrying your plushie.

“You’d be walking home if you did,” he says and you roll your eyes knowing damn well he would never let that happen.

You stop him and stand on your tippie toes, pulling him down for a kiss. You smile against his lips, you’ll never get tired of this.

You rest against his chest as you both stare at the tv.

“So he calls her baby girl and she calls him chocolate thunder but they’re strictly platonic?” He asks and you nod laughing as you watch criminal minds.

“You’re into some freaky shit,” he says making you sit up so you’re straddling him. You push your ass against his dick and smile.

“Very,” you say before you lift your shirt up, revealing your bare chests. He sits up and starts kissing you, oblivious to the feet running up the stairs until his doors being slammed open. You scream and climb off of him, clutching your chest.

Your face reddens, the urge to cover it but your hands are hiding your tits. He moves to block your body and hands you back his shirt. Yuji and Choso’s faces are burned into your brain as you slip the shirt on. You don’t lean over Sukuna, terrified.

“What the fuck!” You hear Choso say and you slightly peak over Sukunas shoulder.

Choso storms out of the room and you jump out of the bed.

“Choso wait!” You say as he jogs down the stairs and out the front door.

You walk back to the room to see Yuji sitting next to Sukuna giving him a fist bump.

“No way you bagged y/n, She’s pretty bad,” Yuji says and you slap the back of both their heads.

You sigh pushing your food around. It’s been a week and Choso doesn’t answer your texts, he doesn’t sit with you at lunch and he switched seats in the classes you share so now you’re forced to sit next to Mahito who you hate.

“Has he said anything to you?” You ask Sukuna as he steals one of your fries.

“Nah, he’s been staying over at Yuki’s. Who cares anyways” he says eating another fry until you’re pushing your tray towards him.

“I do and you should too, he’s your brother,” you say and he sighs.

“So what do you want me to do, I can beat him until he talks to you,” he offers genuinely, you try not to laugh at his violent and insane behavior.

“No, but I told you this would happen,” you say and he shrugs, holding a fry up to your lips until you eat it.

“Good girl,” he says as Yuki sits infront if you making you sit up. You’re prepared for her to yell at you but she doesn’t.

“I know Choso’s being stubborn, he told me everything. It’s really not his business on what you two do with eachother which I expressed so now he’s not talking to me,” she says taking a fry.

“He’s being a fucking diva,” Sukuna says making you laugh at him using such a word. “Break up with him and see how fast he comes running,” Sukuna concludes. The idea sounds absurd but Yuki’s pulling her phone out and tapping away at the screen.

“Oh you guys are cruel,” you say and she hits send.

“So what exactly is this?” She asks, pointing between you two.

“We’re dating, three months now,” you smile, being able to say it so openly feels nice.

“Oh that’s pathetic,” Sukuna says as Choso enters the cafeteria and walks towards your table. He holds his phone up at Yuki.

“Are you serious?”.

“What use is a boyfriend that won’t speak to you?” She asks and you take notes. She’s so nonchalant about it, serves him right.

“Fine, you want to talk let’s talk,” Choso says taking the seat between you and Yuki.

“You’re fucking a guy that told you the only jobs you’d get were either on a pole or your back and you’re fucking a girl that prayed to God for three weeks that you would catch Syphilis,” he says, Yuki covers her mouth to conceal a laugh.

“Well, she only does one of those jobs and I’m syphilis free,” Sukuna says and you pinch his ass through the opening in his chair making him squirm.

“He fucking hates you and you just…spread your legs for him?” Choso asks making your breathing hitch.

“Shut the fuck up, and choose your nexts word wisely,” Sukuna warns.

“That’s not what I meant. I just don’t get it, you’ve been lying and fucking my brother. It’s weird, and what’s suppose to happen when it’s over?” He asks.

“Nothing, because it never will be,” Sukuna answers, seemingly bored of this conversation.

“Choso, you’re my bestfriend and you always will be but what I do and who I do it with is my choice. I’m not sorry that it’s Sukuna or that I love him. But I am sorry that you feel the need to be mean and avoid me. When you got with Yuki, I accepted it. It’s caused us to make adjustments to our friendship that I’ve happily complied with, there’s no reason you can’t do the same,” you say with a level head and he nods.

“I just don’t want you getting hurt,” he sighs and you smile.

“I promise you, your brother takes good care of me,” you assure.

“In every aspect,” Sukuna adds making Choso cringe and Yuki laugh.

“This conversations boring me, come home and stop being a bitch” Sukuna says.

“Fine but no more sex jokes, and please lock your fucking door” Choso says.

“Fine, now beat it. I need a word with my girlfriend “ Sukuna says making Yuki and Choso dip. He pulls your chair toward him and leans in till your forehead is pressed against his.

“You love me?” He asks and you nod.

“I love you more than I ever hated you, so much fucking more,”.

I know some of you wanted Choso’s reaction, I rewrote it so many times but I honestly don’t think he cares that much. He has no romantic feelings for her. But I do think the idea of her and his brother who is an absolute ass would seem quite disturbing.

Also she’s not pregnant! Thank y’all for the endless support on this. Gojo Tinder piece coming up next!

@whosmarjj @getoxmahito @xra1 @swoozleee @lillycore

@carefree-flowerchild

[uranometrias]

✮ꜜ : ❛ long time coming : aaron hotchner x fem! reader

pairing: aaron hotchner x bau! reader

summary: after getting hurt out in the field, you're on leave for a month. coming back felt long overdue, that is until your plans with the team lead you to a situation that feels a bit too close for comfort after such a traumatic time. what's worse, your feelings you've harbored for your boss have no choice but to come to light when he makes the odd choice to address you as 'agent' rather than your name after one month of being apart, and years and years of back and forth will-they-wont-they.

content warnings: making out. allusions to sexual assault + r4pe (but only in the context of the case). reader has slight signs of PTSD. anxiety/panic attacks. reader runs into a few pushy men while out at the club. drinking / drunk confessions. reader has a crush on her boss, it is also implied that reader finds derek attractive, and he reciprocates these feelings. hotch is very good at calming reader down. no usage of y/n. reader is described as having shoulder length hair (can be read as a wig/weave) angry/disappointed hotch! reader has been hiding her anxiety / nightmares / memory issues from the team. mentions of vomiting. kissing. mentions of elle & the events of the fisher king. no distinct timeline, but can be read as s7 with the iconic team (hotch, emily, derek, jj, penelope, rossi, & spencer)

"Okay, I didn't know we were going all out. I would've prepared better." you smile shyly as Jennifer pulls you into a tight hug. When Penelope had called you early that morning with an excited decree that you'd been cleared to return to work you hadn't been sure how to feel. You hadn't bothered to ask how Garcia of all people was privy to information you hadn't received from your bosses yet, there was no getting a straight answer when it came to the Technical Analyst.

It had been her idea for the entire team to get together. You'd been out of the office for a full month, and in that time you'd tried your hand at maintaining your bonds with the rest of the group. It of course wasn't the same, but you knew that you'd needed the time. The last time you'd joined them on a case things had gone horribly wrong. You shudder at the thought, you had been doing so good at forgetting about it all, but seeing them again made it all come back.

The unsub had been your run-of-the-mill anger excitation rapist, a creep that had been using an elaborate ruse to entice and entrap women. It had been Emily's idea for the two of you to go undercover, the unsub had been killing two women every week, women who in many ways were polar opposites of one another, a trait that you and Emily shared. Long story short, in the midst of your plan to lure and trap the Unsub, you'd been separated from Emily and cornered.

You’d been carted off by the creep who kept you stuck for three hours before the team used his mistake to find you. By then though, the damage had been done. You remember the look on Rossi's face when he and Hotch came busting in, and found you looking bruised up with a bloody face, and a gun barrel to the side of your head. You'd never seen Hotch quite as scared, at least not since everything with Foyet nearly three years ago when he lost Haley and almost Jack.

You'd been too out-of-sorts to hear the way they'd tried to reason with the Unsub. And you hadn't realized your abdomen was losing blood until a gunshot rang out, bullets whizzing past your head as the unsub curled into himself before falling to the ground. You didn't know much, you thought maybe your eardrums had exploded with the way they were ringing, and you'd half expected to smack your head against the ground and end up with an annoying concussion.

Instead, you'd been met with the sight of your boss. He'd yelled something you weren't privy to, mouth moving as he seemingly forced the rest of the team out of their stupor long enough to get a medic inside to look you over. It was like you said, the details were fuzzy, but nothing had managed to wipe Hotch's worried expression as he fussed over your safety, out of your mind. However, if you were honest with yourself for one measly second, that was nothing new.

Nothing seemed to fill up your mind the way your boss did, and it was stupid, and deplorable all things considered. But it's not like it had even been something you'd asked for. It just happened one day. You shake these thoughts of your near paralyzing emotions away, pulling yourself back to the present as you took in JJ, who despite her perceived candor looked great. "Oh come on Jaige." you huff, and you appraise her more openly. "You look amazing, as usual."

She grins, albeit shyly, and she's waiting, maybe for your approval maybe for something else. She's trying to be discreet as she sweeps your for obvious reminders of what happened, and you feel nervous. Most of your injuries had healed up well enough, and the scratches that littered your face had been covered in a smattering of makeup. You felt comfortable in your pretty girl cocoon, all done up with a bright smile on your face that was surprisingly believable.

"Can I hug you?" she asks, and you can tell she's been holding it in, waiting to ask. You nod your head, a quiet chuckle escaping you as the blonde seems to scoop you into her arms. She's careful not to squeeze too tight, but the love is felt all the same. "God, it's been so weird without you around." she hums, and while the rest of the team is already huddled inside, probably in a booth Penelope picked, you're so happy she's the one here telling you this now.

"Now you know how we all felt when they sent you to the Pentagon." you whisper back, and you hear her bemused giggle as she steps back, and she takes you in again. Your red minidress was a stark contrast to the usual business-casual attire you wore everyday to work. Your hair was curled, pinned back with a gold claw clip, hair just barely ghosting over the divots of your collarbones. You'd opted for a shorter do' following everything with the unsub.

"Never leave us again." she pleads, and you feel this warmth blossoming in your chest at the way she's staring at you, almost like she really means it. You'd joined the team back when Elle and Gideon had still been around. At one point you'd been the rookie, the new girl nobody knew what to expect from. JJ had been right there beside you, even back then. She had been sweet, assertive, your first real friend on the team. She'd welcomed you before anyone else.

In time of course, things had changed, JJ had a husband, kids, a hoard of other units that were plotting on her skills at all times, but she was still JJ. Still that same first friend that helped you to see the Behavioral Analysis Unit was the only place for you. "I'll do my best." you promise, and she grins. She links arms with you before you both head inside the bar. There was music playing, some alternative indie song that wasn't half bad.

"Here's the girl of the hour now." Emily exclaims, and it's clear they've already started tossing back shots. JJ's head is instantly shaking in mortification. So it was going to be one of those nights. Penelope meets you both, pulling JJ from your arms and leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek sweetly, before she's turning to you. She's got tears already brimming in her eyes, and you can't help but giggle at the dramatics of it all.

"I'm so happy to see you." she squeals, and you find yourself hugging back despite the sting of your abdomen. "You look so beautiful." she adds a second afterwards. "What are you looking to get lucky?" she asks, as she uses her hands to push you away slightly, hands resting gently on both of your shoulders. You feel your face growing hot at the implication, and you see the way she's looking at your facial expressions for a signal of your lies. Curse her proximity to profilers.

"I just wanted to look nice." you reply and Penelope lets you off the hook. She leads you to the table, and you're just in time to hear the group finish up their hellos to JJ. She's sitting next to Morgan, who's bright-eyed as he looks up at you. You find yourself fussing with your hair, playing it cool as you press your lips together, re-smearing your lipstick as you waved your hand.

You weren't sure why you felt like the new kid all over again.

"It's good to see you, pretty girl." he croons, and you grin. Morgan was flirty, had been since you met him, and if you weren't so disastrously into Hotch, you think he'd be all on your mind. Well, you know... more than he was. There had been times where you'd been partnered together, and it almost felt like the tension was going to cut you in half. Sexual tension aside though, Derek was your friend.

They all were, and despite what your mind tried to tell you as you sobbed yourself through nightmares during your break from work, they were genuinely happy to see you. "I'm glad you're okay." your eyes flit over to the youngest member of the team. Spence is looking relieved as he too looks up at you with eyes full of relief. He's next to Emily, and she's already downing another drink. She'd be complaining about a migraine the next day, you could hear her now.

"Thanks, Spence." you coo, and you offer him a wink as your eyes fall on the only present member of the team that hadn't addressed you. Rossi had made a point to send his hellos, but due to a previous standing appointment, he wouldn't be joining tonight. You couldn't hold it against him, Rossi was scoping the prairie for wife number four. He offers you a faint smile, the group instantly falling into chatter.

"H-Hey Hotch." you mumble, and he's closest to you, sitting on the outside of the booth as the rest of the team tried their hardest to pretend they weren't expecting this. He doesn't say anything for a moment, instead he takes you in. He wasn't blind, he'd seen you before, you'd always been beautiful, but there was something about you done up like this. Red dress, red lip, bold makeup, and heels that showed off your legs, and accented your model-esque posture.

It was obvious that you were still a bit nervous about being out and about, and you were out of practice with being around the team. He imagined after a bit though you'd be back to yourself. You, and the rest of the girls would be falling into a rhythm in no time. He stands to his feet, much taller than you, as you take a small step back to give him space. "It's good to see you up and about, Agent." and his voice is low, clearly as a courtesy to the bustling of conversation behind you.

"Agent?" you repeat, and the word is so foreign. It makes you take another step back, the bottoms of your Louboutin's clacking against the ground. You looked a bit hurt, but you played it off quickly. "Come on, Hotch. I think we're a little past those formalities." you chuckle awkwardly, and you find yourself looking towards the bar. Yeah, you were definitely going to need a drink. He seems to curse under his breath, but you're not sure if that's due to you, or some internal conflict you weren't privy to. You don't wait to figure it out either.

He doesn't have the opportunity to reply to your correction, because you're looking to Emily, JJ, and Garcia. "Wanna get some shots?" you ask, and you sidestep Aaron, making sure you don't look his way again, as the girls immediately exclaim their agreements. Penelope's sliding out of the booth first, Emily and JJ following her example as they head straight towards the bar. JJ's shooting you a knowing glance as she looks between Hotch and yourself.

"You coming boys?" you extend the invite to Derek and Spencer, who are quick to nod along, both men trailing after the others as they head to the counter to order more drinks. You prepare to follow after them, ready for the welcome respite from your mind swimming in circles.

"I didn't mean to offend you." you stop short, spinning on your heel to meet the gaze of your Unit Chief.

"Well you did." you reply, and your voice is small. "I've known you for almost seven years, and here you are treating me like a stranger." you mumble, and you find yourself tugging at your dress. "I mean, I know it's been a while, but geez Hotch, it's still me." you say and he winces. You're not sure what the last month has been like for the others, but you know what they've been like for you. Torturous. It's been Hell.

"I know." he says, and your eyebrow raises, unmoved by his words. "And again, I didn't mean to offend you." he promises, and he clenches and unclenches his fists by his side. "After everything that happened, I guess I just assumed you'd prefer a more professional approach." he mutters, and you scoff quietly. Classic Aaron Hotchner, running away from interpersonal conflict with his tail tucked between his legs. "You don't even seem comfortable with us tonight."

You blink. Okay well he had a point there, but you were trying.

"It's not that I'm not comfortable." you mutter, and you look over your shoulder at the rest of the team. "I guess I just didn't expect to feel so out of place being out and about." you shrug your shoulders bashfully. "Everyone's normal, everything seems the same." you continue, and you notice the way that Hotch's lips have pressed into a hard line. "And it's like no time has passed at all for anyone else, but for me it's like I never moved." you blink, shivering at the thought.

Hotch's eyebrows furrow inwardly as he takes in your words. "I still feel like I'm-" you trail off, feeling a wide lump growing in your throat. "It's like I never left." you course correct, eyes shutting briefly, lashes brushing against your cheekbones. "Like no matter how much time passes, it still feels like I'm there with him and I'm-"

"I understand." he cuts you off, you think maybe to salvage your pride or to keep you from having a panic attack at the thought. "And you're certain you're ready to come back to work? You know you can take all the time you need." he reminds you, and you are immediately nodding your head as you wave a tired hand his way.

"I can't stay cooped up in my house anymore." you mumble. "It's becoming counterproductive." you huff. "I'm ready." you add a second later. "Apart from this awkwardness, I'm also perfectly fine." and it's a lie, you'd been having nightmares every night. Restless, sleepless evenings full of dread, and jump scares of your own creation. "I mean, I'm here aren't I?" you offer a tight smile as you reach out and tap Hotch's shoulders twice, a tense little conversation ender.

You don't want to stay huddled up with him anymore, not while he was looking at you like he was trying to see into your soul. You turn on your heel, dress swishing side to side as you head for the group. You find yourself in between Emily and Penelope, the blonde to your left immediately sliding a drink in front of you. You down it in a second, the intense burn as the alcohol rested in your chest was a welcome reprieve from the anguish and anxiety you'd been feeling.

You forget about Hotch, and all your heavy feelings by the time you're on your third drink. Your heels feel much too heavy under your feet as you stumble into Emily, the brunette chuckling vibrantly as you hang off each other, the music playing overhead lulling you into a false sense of security. It was nice being like this again after so long, laughing at the dramatic banter between Derek and Penelope. You wondered if they'd remain purely platonic forever.

Trading gossip back and forth with Emily and JJ was always a treat, especially as Spencer tried to keep up with eyes wide as saucers while Emily finally cracked the secrets of her coveted Sin-To-Win weekends. You weren't sure what was funnier, the peeks into Emily's life outside the unit, or the horrified looks that crossed Spence's face with every new tidbit of knowledge he learned about his coworkers. You found your eyes flickering over to Hotch again.

He was stoic as ever, but looser than he would be in the office. He seemed to enjoy being a quiet observer much more than he preferred to be in the mix. He leisurely swirled his glass of scotch, and you felt that familiar buzz of warmth in your chest when you managed to catch him smiling as he quietly passed conversation back and forth with a newly drunk Penelope, and Derek, who looked exasperated.

"Are you just gonna stare at him all night?" you jump a bit, turning to face Emily with surprise swirling in your irises. "If you keep it up, he's gonna catch you." she adds a second afterwards and you tense, head nodding as you scold yourself. You peel away from the bar, drink clutched in your hand. You had to get away from the bar for a second, maybe the cluttered dance floor would be the best distraction.

"Sorry." you mutter, and Emily offers a airy laugh. "He's just usually so serious." you lean into Emily, who nods along. She'd met Hotch after you, but still she'd managed to become so close to him it was almost surreal. She seemed to always know what he was thinking, they were in sync. Unlike you, who seemed to always be on the other end of a hard stare from the man. For a while you just began to assume he hated your guts. Or better put, he was indifferent to your existence.

That was why his look, that look he'd given you as he cradled your head while he waited for backup had been burned into your skull. All that went out of the window the second he'd labeled you 'Agent' though. God, how stupid were you? Emily's amusement makes your eyes roll. "Can I be honest?" she asks, and you nod. Penelope and JJ have migrated to the dance floor, JJ grabbing the good doctor and bringing him along with them. He looks incredibly uncomfortable.

"Sure, Em. If you think it will help." you reply audibly.

"I haven't seen him this relaxed since everything went down." she admits, and you're surprised. As if somehow your presence had been enough to set the stone-serious man at ease. "The first few days after your accident he was a mess." she adds, and she's got a surprising about of stability to her tone to be as inebriated as she was. She lowers her voice some as she leans into you, "He showed up late." she mutters this like it's some sworn secret just meant for the both of you.

"I'm sure Strauss was just riding him about another mishap in the unit." you try, and Emily looks unconvinced and unimpressed with you. "He's our boss, it's kind of his job to worry about us." you finish.

"Yeah, I guess so." Emily concedes, and she looks like she's done talking about it, so you find yourself relaxing. "Still. I've never seen him go that hard against an unsub, maybe you're not the only person that's feeling something." she leaves you with that, trying to keep from tipping as she marched towards the group. You chuckle quietly to yourself, ignoring Emily's words as you focus on finishing your drink. It seemed you'd inadvertently been trying to be alone all along.

You felt some of the tension melt from your shoulders now that you were standing at the bar, away from those prying eyes you couldn't lie to. There's this sound of heavy footsteps, and then the clearing of a throat, as you turn to be met with the sight of a man. He looked to be about your age, cheeks and nose covered in a little smattering of freckles. He's got a head full of shaggy hair that hangs in his face. He takes a quick step, sliding up against the bar beside you.

Way too close.

"Hey." he mumbles, and you appraise him boredly. It's not like he was ugly or anything, but despite Penelope's words you were not looking to get lucky tonight.

"Hi." you offer a dry greeting, shuffling your weight from one foot to the other as the bar seemingly became a beacon for thirsty men. Just as you were politely stepping away from the freckled man, you found yourself bumping into another man who'd slithered up to the bar, your ass pressing against his crotch as his hands wound around your waist. A sleazy chuckle escapes the man's mouth as you gasp. "I'm so sorry." you exclaim, and you're quick to peel away.

You feel trapped though, there were at least four guys, they all seemed to be friends, they all seemed to be in kahoots.

There's a third and fourth man joining the fray, they all looked to be about the same age, height, and weight class. This was probably their routine: approach and overwhelm whatever drunk girl they might have happened upon. It looked like you were tonight's target. "Hey, what's the rush?" the guy closest to you drawls, and you wonder where all your years of training have gone. His arm raises, and it feels like he might hit you so you flinch way too violently.

"Stick around, we'll order the next round." the next demands, and his breath smells like booze. It stinks, and it's hot as it puffs across your face. You almost break your heels backing away from them, suddenly feeling self conscious a`nd way too vulnerable in your short dress.

"No, it's alright, really." you try, and you stumble again. "My friends are right over there." and you point in their general vicinity. "Have a great night though." you offer politely, and you're trying to make your grand escape. One guy, a shaggy blonde haired man is quick to grab you by your forearm, and it's like you're back to that day. Your bureau appointed therapist had been talking to you about your anxiety, how a range of things could become triggers and transport you mentally.

"That wasn't a question. Stay a while." You're stuck, absolutely frozen in place as your entire body tenses up. Some Special Agent you were, the bureau would be so disappointed in you. Your team would be so disappointed in you. All it took to turn you into a pile of nothing was a bit of confrontation. You could remember a stronger version of you, that girl would've had these men on their knees for even thinking of laying hands on you. God, you missed that girl.

His grip on your arm tightens, fingers digging into you harshly as you find yourself surrounded on every side.

"L-Let me go." you huff under your breath, and you crane your neck. You spot JJ, the blonde's eyes locked on yours as the reality of what's going on forces her to sober up. "I just-" and you jerk away, stumbling back completely. You're surprised you don't scream as your glass drops to the ground shattering as glass sprays in every which direction. You feel like your ankle's twisted as you fall back on your ass. You expect to feel the embarrassing thud that came with smacking your ass on the hard floor of a bar, but it never comes.

Instead you feel cocooned by a familiar scent. Strong arms are looped around you, but you suppose your lack of disgust at the action is just a testament of your comfortability. "Are you alright?" it's mumbled against your ear, and the low tone of his voice makes you shiver. All you can really offer is a tight nod as Aaron's guiding you behind him. You don't get to see Hotch in action, not when JJ, Penelope, and Emily are flocking you like Charlie's Angels.

You feel the first signs of the need to barf pricking at you, and you know that you need to get some air. You needed to breathe.

"God, are you okay?" Penelope asks, and you're not sure if you are being dramatic. I mean, it wasn't like they'd done anything really. Now you were gonna look like the freak that ruined a fun night.

"I'm sorry." you chirp, and you miss the way Jennifer and Emily share a hard glance. It's not until you're feeling brisk air whipping around your face that you realize they've taken you outside, and you haven't stopped apologizing. I'm so sorry. Penelope's got wide eyes, quickly brimming with tears as you find yourself crumbling to the ground. Your hand's quick to clutch around your chest as you try to inhale. The dramatics of it all made you even more nauseous.

You should've stayed at home.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Emily's cooing, and it seems being out like this has sliced through her tipsy stupor. She's focused just like she would be on any regular sort of day. "I need you to breathe." she instructs, and JJ's crouching down in front of you, brown eyebrows draw inwardly as she takes in your clearly frantic state. Every puff of air that escapes you is tight and sounds like it hurts. You can just barely hear the sound of a commotion taking place inside.

You do hear JJ's quiet exclamation of "I'll stay with her, go check on Hotch and Derek!" before Penelope and Emily are heading back into the packed building. She calls your name, and it takes a while for you to regain your voice. She's devoid of pity, which you appreciate. JJ knew more than anyone how much you hated being seen as a burden, or someone to be sorry for. Pride was a killer. "Can you try and take a deep breath for me?" and it's then you realize your choppy little intakes of air weren't doing you any favors.

It takes a great deal of effort for your vision to be less blurry. Your ears were full of cotton, and your head was swimming. You feel bile again in the back of your throat, and you jerk away from JJ's reach. You feel like you're suffocating, transported away from the random bar in the middle of Virginia, and back to a place you'd fought so hard to escape. You were certain you'd remember that unsub forever. His evil eyes, the way he tried to use your entrails like paint.

You remember how Elle had changed after she'd been attacked by Garner. How she had changed so much that she had no choice but to step away from the Unit. Would that be your life? You didn't want that life, but it was clear you needed something, you needed help. You couldn't focus on anything else, but what had happened. You'd ruined a night out because the act of being cornered was enough to transport you back.

JJ's still peering at you as if she's waiting for you to start panicking, and maybe you were. "I'm sorry." you huff again, and JJ's shaking her head at you.

There's a deep frown etched into her face as she sighs herself. "Stop apologizing." she insists, and your lashes are wet with unshed tears. "You didn't do anything wrong. Those assholes should've never put their hands on you." she proceeds. "You know that don't you?" she continues, and you don't know how to respond, so you don't. JJ reads you like an open book, and she smacks her teeth. "Well now you do." she says this firmly. "And I'm sure Hotch and Morgan are teaching them that lesson right now." you tense up again.

"I didn't mean to ruin the-" JJ's offering you a hard glare that shuts you up. Another bad habit you'd picked up since the incident. You were working on it, trying not to blame yourself for things you didn't cause. "I'm sorry." and this time it's not because of tonight. "I was so nervous about tonight.-" you take in a hiccupped breath. "I just wanted to prove that I could bounce back." you explain, and it's the first insight you've allowed anyone. "I figured if I pretend everything's normal, soon enough it would be, but it's too much." you huff.

"And that's okay." she promises. "What you went through isn't something anyone's expecting you to forget about in a month, alright? It's gonna take time, and there will be days where it'll hurt a lot more, and there will be days where you're feeling like your old self again." she promises. "What you need to understand is that we-" she pauses as you take it in. "are your family." she finishes, and your lips start to twitch, you're not sure if you'll smile or cry.

"I know-" you proceed, and she holds a hand up in front of you.

"Let me finish." she pleads, and you inhale before nodding. "I don't- none of us want a repeat of what happened with Elle." she says quietly. "None of us want to show up to the unit one day and see your badge and gun sitting on your desk." JJ sighs. "So if you ever start feeling anxious, or terrible, or just like you're back... there." and you wince at the mention. "I want you to call me, call one of us. Don't deal with this alone, alright? Not when you don't have to."

JJ hugs you before you have time to respond, but her words sink deep and make you feel warm inside. "Thanks, Jaige." you mumble against her hair. She squeezes you tighter, and you believe it's to make up for her shyer hug earlier.

"You're welcome." she mumbles back, and then she's pulling back. You don't have much respite, Penelope practically tackling you in a hug of her own. You hadn't even realized the rest of the team has left the bar, you were sure the mood of the night was much lower.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" Penelope exhales, and you do too, breathing fine again, save for a few hiccups that escaped you every so often. She lets you go after a beat, and you're quick to take a small step back, suddenly feeling anxious once more.

"Yeah, I'm fine now." your eyes meet Derek and Emily's. "Thank you." and you're chuckling quietly as Derek pulls you into his side. He plants a kiss on the top of your head, and you warm inwardly. Spencer does hug you, and it's a shock. One of those hugs that you never take for granted, because it could be a while before you get another. Once he's pulled away you find yourself still hovering, listening quietly as they all decide the night's not over.

You respectfully bow out, you'd had enough for one day. It's then you notice that Hotch is all by himself. You quietly excuse yourself, but you find that they're not really listening now that you were safer. "Are you alright?" you ask, and your voice is very quiet. Hotch looks up from his phone as if he's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. You take in his face, and it's clear he's been in some sort of scuffle. Most notable due to the fact he's got blood smeared under his nose.

"I should be asking you that." he retorts, and your eyebrows furrow in.

"Y-You already did." you remind him, eyes darting away. "Why are you over here by yourself?" you shoot off a round of questions, the wind whipping around, and making you crave the comfort of your bed. You maintain a respectful balance, you weren't in any rush to be all up in someone's space.

"I think I've had enough of crowds for the night." he retorts. You don't realize until it's happened though, your hand reaching up to swipe at the blood that's slowly drying on his upper lip.

"Get into a bar fight?" you ask, and you hold your breath for the answer. Hotch looks down at you, and there's this unreadable expression on his face. You realize that this is nothing new. Hotch had never been easy to read, he was one of the greatest profilers you'd ever met, one of the greatest people. But he'd always been an enigma. His emotions were an Alcatraz all on their own.

"You should see the other guy." the classic rebuttal to a question like yours. It doesn't make you smile, mostly because he's not smiling either. "Are you okay?" and he's got you by your wrist, eyes zoned in on the harsh mark the guy from the bar had left behind. "He never should've touched you." his voice lowers, and there's an annoyance attached to his tone. "I'm so sorry." you find yourself huffing.

"You shouldn't have fought him." you say matter-of-factly. Your fists fold up at your sides, your lips pulling down into a frown. "It'll give everyone the wrong idea." you say, and you wrench your hand away from his grasp.

"Everyone?" he repeats, and he looks confused, classic Hotch.

"Me." you correct, "I'll get the wrong idea." you whisper. "I might actually think you like me." you admit quietly.

"We wouldn't want that." he replies, and his tone is far from mocking. You hate that it makes you crack a smile. You hate that he's always the one that manages to get that reaction out of you.

"Hey, are you two coming? We're all heading to Mo's." Emily calls, and you snort at the fact that their alcohol riddled mind had caused them to forget you'd already declined. You take a step away from Hotch, and you hate that you stumble. You were hating a lot of things tonight. Maybe you weren't as sober as you'd thought.

Aaron looks to you as if he's waiting to see your answer before giving his own, and maybe he was. The second you're politely explaining that you're ready to head home, Aaron is offering to drive you. Derek is whistling, Emily and JJ offering you smug little smirks. Penelope is trying to keep herself secured to Earth. "He's gonna take her home." he whispers to no one in particular, and it's a horrid attempt.

"We all heard, babygirl." Derek replies to her, and you find yourself a bit stuck. The thought of spending the eighteen minute car ride with your boss make you want to scream, but you'd taken a cab. Your own car was parked in the driveway of your place. And he doesn't look like he' taking any goodbyes either way. Rounds of goodbye and see you laters are soon offered. "Take care of our girl, Hotch." Derek calls, and you hear Spencer as he starts to rant about Derek's turn-of-phrase.

Our girl. Hotch finds that the words repeat in his head like an obnoxious echo. "Why are you doing this?" you question quietly. "If you're just trying to make up for the whole Agent thing, there's no need." you proceed, and you take a small step back.

"I'm not trying to make up for that." he replies quickly. "But, you're drunk, and you've been through a lot tonight." he reminds you as if you're ditsy or something. "It wouldn't be smart to leave you by yourself." he continues, and he inhales deeply. He watches the way you watch him, like you're unsure, like you're suspicious. "That isn't a testament of whether or not I think you can handle yourself... and neither was fighting that man at the bar." he promises, and you blink.

"No?" you ask, and your tongue feels extra dry. Like you've licked a stripe of sandpaper.

"No." he reaffirms. "You mean a lot to the team. We wouldn't be the same without you." he says this bit like he means it, and you can't find any trace of a lie residing in his face. He does mean it.

"Thank you, Sir." you reply under your breath, exhaling the word. The chill of the night finally gets to you, and you shiver.

"Can I take you home?" he asks, and you know you're reading into it more than you should. You know what he means, what he's really asking, but delusion was healthy every now and again, right?

"Y-Yeah." your head nods, voice wavering slightly as you take hold of the bottom of your dress. "Yes." you say more firmly.

"Okay." you stand there for a few moments more, passing charged glances back and forth. "You never answered my question earlier." is what he says to break the moment. "About how you were doing..." he proceeds. "I've asked you twice, and both times you-"

"Deflected?" you offer, and his head nods. "I guess I'm just scared you'll see right through whatever my answer is." you admit, and you cross your arms, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. "Emily and JJ will at least humor me." you explain. "Penelope won't ask... mostly because she's scared of the answer." you chuckle awkwardly. "Derek and Spence, well I guess they're like you too... but you're here, and they're not... so here we are."

Hotch appraises you for a second, but he doesn't say much else. You're grateful for that, but equal parts annoyed that he wasn't leaping to tell you that you were harder to read than you thought. No such luck. Still, you're surprised when Hotch grabs you by your arm, much gentler than earlier, and he's slowing his stride to be in step with yours. You don't realize you've leaned fully into his side until you feel him tense up. He doesn't say anything though.

A win is a win.

You didn't know much about the inner workings of Aaron Hotchner's mind, but you did know that if he was uncomfortable with your proximity, he would have said so. The walk back to Hotch's car is silent. At least outwardly, inside you were panicking. He opens the passenger side for you, and you imagine a world where this was normal. Where it didn't take you being hit on by sleazy men at a bar to be having these moments with Hotch. But it was impossible.

"Did it hurt?" you ask, once the car is moving. He's adjusted the temperature, a soothing warm pooling from the vents. You're surprised at how quickly he drives, you'd half expected him to be one of those slow as molasses drivers. Hotch looks over at you incredulously, his eyebrows raise, but he doesn't look agitated nor annoyed with you breaking the silence again.

"You'll have to be more specific." he replies, and you hum. You pause for a second, trying to find the right words. At the last second you decide saying it straight would be just as good as anything else.

"Punching that guy?" you ask, and Hotch's lips quirk upwards, he was amused with you. In truth, he had no idea what he was thinking. As soon as the girls had ushered you away, he'd found himself swinging before he could think of the repercussions. All he knew was that you'd sounded scared, you'd sounded unlike yourself in a way that made him angry. Everyone saw how you had changed, the elephant in the room was hard to ignore. But you were trying, he could give you that.

"No." he mumbles, and that likely has a lot to do with the fact that he hasn't come down. He's still on edge, still watching you like you might at any moment start spiraling. "Besides, it was worth it." and he says this a bit under his breath, you hear it all the same. "I doubt he'll try it again." he admits, and you feel liberated. It was nice to have someone fighting for you, fighting the fights you weren't capable of.

"Thanks, Hotch." you hum, and it triggers a yawn.

"Back to Hotch?" he asks, and you look over at him confused. You kick your feet back and forth, careful not to dig your heels into the plush of the car's floor.

"Would you prefer I call you sir?" you ask, and he is tapping on the brake, the car slowly peeling to a stop as you come up on a red light.

"No." he answers sternly. "It's not like you." he admits, and the light is turning green again. He steps lightly on the gas, the car surging forward "Especially if you're only calling me Sir, as payback for me calling you Agent." he says, and even though you had tried your hand at pretending the greeting hadn't bothered you, it was obvious he had read right through you.

"Why'd you do that?" you question and your tone is a lot more clipped than you had intended.

"So it did offend you?" he retorts, and you feel anger flaring up. You swallow this feeling, hands balling up by your side.

"Hotch." you snap, and he smirks fully, eyes back on the road. "Can you be serious, please?" you ask, and you probably sound pitiful.

"The last month I've just been..." he trails off momentarily, and you wonder if he's emotional, or just being dramatic. "I should have known better." he expresses. "I should've been there to make sure that what happened didn't." he says, and you tense up. "He never should have gotten the chance to get close enough to cart you off." he completes his thought, and you're shocked. You never would have guessed Hotch blames himself for what happened to you.

"That wasn't your fault." you promise, and you mean it. You'd never once thought of blaming Hotch for what went down. "You were confident in the plan, you were putting your faith in the team."

"There is a very thin line between confidence and arrogance." He rebuttals instantly. "We got cocky, and you suffered because of it." he looks so destroyed as he says this. "And then you showed up tonight, and tried to pretend everything was fine." he notes as you remain silent. "It just reminded me that we're too close." he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. "The longer you stay in the unit, the more you become numb to the things we see. You start to ignore the signs that you're not alright." he says, and you'd never thought of it that way.

"Hotch..." you exhale.

"I called you Agent to set up a boundary, or at least I tried." he says this like he's beating himself up. "But then I saw the way it hurt you." and he looks ashamed. "And I never want to be someone who does that to you." you're warring with your heart then. "So I wont do it again." he promises, and he looks to you briefly. "I'll call you by your name, I won't deflect." he adds as your mouth drops open just briefly.

"But, it's not right for someone your age to be so closed off. It's not right for you to pretend to be okay just to keep up with the people around you. If you weren't up to being out, you should've stayed home, our opinions don't outweigh your safety." he lectures you. "They never will." he adds a second after, and he's so sure as he says this. He's slowing down, coming up on your place.

Your leg is shaking slightly, that pesky feeling of anxiety creeping back up on you. "We're here." he says under his breath as if you weren't aware. You don't budge, you can't. You have so much to say, but where do you start. Hotch has shut his car off, almost like he too has a lot sitting on the tip of his tongue.

"I just wanted to prove I could handle it." you admit, and you're crying. "I didn't want to be another Gideon or Elle... or Spence." you cringe at the memories. "I didn't want you guys to handle with me with kid gloves. I didn't want you to see me as the girl who needs the kid gloves." you express honestly, and now your tears are falling in quick precession. "I'm sorry..." you swipe at your face. "I don't know why I'm crying, this is so stupid." you hiss at yourself.

"No, it isn't." the response earns him a surprised glance. "It's good... this is good." Hotch is quick to use a hand to swipe at your tears. He hates the sight of them, but loves what they mean. Your heart's still soft, pliable. You haven't fully succumb to the horrors of the job. "Consider this me atoning." he prompts. "You have my ear, say whatever you need to say." he looks over at you again, and seems to mentally backtrack. "If it'll help you." he adds.

You sniffle audibly, hands clenching and unclenching as the car suddenly feels much too hot. "It's not your fault, okay?" you repeat, and you say it with more certainty. "I just need you to know that." you sniffle again, but your tears keep falling, even as you try to blink them away. "Hotch, you're our leader for a reason, and you were there to save me that night, and you were here to save me tonight." you remind him. "I don't want you to pull back, not when I'm finally making some progress with cracking that hard exterior of yours."

Hotch's lips quirk at your words, and he looks down at his lap. "I've never meant to pull back from you." the inflection with the last words sticks. "I thought I was doing right by you... pulling the band aid off before you got in too deep." he says. "But that was wrong of me, I can admit to that. I'm sorry." and his apologies are like kisses. They wash over you, and force you to believe him.

"Don't apologize to me." you plead, "Just promise not to leave me behind, treat me like an outsider again." you continue as his head nods, and you can trust that he's listening.

"I can do that." he promises.

That seems to be the key to unlocking the dam of your emotions. You choke on the feelings, a quiet sob escaping you as you clasp a hand over your mouth. How dramatic, and pathetic, and God awful were all these feelings. But they'd been years in the making, right?

"Are you alright?." he asks under his breath, worry palpable.

"Do you know that the only thing that kept me from losing it that day was you?" you ask, and your boldness won't leave you, clearly it was now or never. "You told me to 'keep breathing'... you said it over and over and over, and I listened." you explain, and he remembers the day too well. "Even though everything hurt like hell, and there was so much blood." you reminisce. "And I don't know, maybe I'm just crazy, but there was this look." you exhale sadly. "This look you had on your face that made me think... 'maybe it's not just me'"

It isn't. He knows that instantly. You've plagued his mind so severely for so long that he can just barely remember a time where you weren't one of the only things he thought about, worried about, cared about. But he had his post to think about, he was the Unit Chief, your boss, your superior. What would the team think? What would Strauss think? Did it matter? In the grand scheme of things, did those worries outweigh his need, his innate desire to see you safe and protected from harm? Absolutely not. So what was the real problem?

"Hotch..." you inhale deeply, voice cracking distractingly as he gives you his full attention. Something you'd dreamed of, wanted more than anything since the first time you'd ever laid eyes on him. "Aaron." you correct, and you breathe again. "I've been thinking of how to say this... i've been rehearsing it over and over again, because I wanted to get it right, and I just knew tonight would be the night I'd have to have the balls to either say it or let it go forever." you admit.

"Say it..." and he's rushing you, but you suppose that's deserved. You were still stalling, dragging this out way more than you needed to.

"I'm in love with you." and it was out there, and you couldn't take it back. You stare him down, worried about his reaction, about how he would respond. "And it took me getting hurt, and being sent home, away from the team for me to realize." you inhale shakily. "I kept having these-these dreams about that night. All these different scenarios about how things could've turned out different, how I could've died had one thing been out of place." you process.

"You're the reason I'm still here, you're the reason why this team can function, and you're the reason why I- why I came tonight even though my anxiety told me it wasn't safe. Because, somehow I knew that as long as you were here... I'd be okay, and I am." you say, and it's a lot, too much maybe. His reaction is hard to read at first, face just as stoic as most times, but his eyes.... his eyes hold the truth. They melt, pools of warm honey dancing in the darkness residing there.

"And it's inappropriate... and wrong... and silly... but- I couldn't go another day without you knowing, without you hearing from me." you explain. "When you came up to the bar tonight I just... I've never felt this way before... lucky, protected, safe.... and-and I'm not asking for anything from you... I'm not expecting something in return, I just wanted to get it out there... I think we both know it's been a long time coming..." and your words are being swallowed as Aaron leans forward. The middle console is a bridge, a roadblock.

It doesn't deter him though, not from using a hand to gently cup your face, mouth slotting against yours as if it belonged there. You're dizzy, shocked, surprised, but you don't let this mess you up. You can't possibly allow anything to mess up this moment. Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two... the seconds tick by with neither of you moving to break the kiss, hands and tongues and breaths fanning over one another as you get acquainted in the most perfect way.

Still, life dealt lots, and yours consisted of a need for oxygen. It's the only reason why you break apart with heady gasps, eyes dilated and fogged with emotions much too heavy to really explain. "Oh, you can't do that." you explain, and Hotch's bemused, eyebrows raising upwards, as his thumb brushes over your cheekbones.

"I can't?" he asks, and he sounds so much lighter now.

"No, you can't. I'll get the wrong idea, you know." you explain, and he smiles brazenly at your callback to earlier. "I'll actually believe you're in love with me or something." you say, and Hotch is slow as he leans back in, a peck being placed right on your lips as your eyelashes flutter, and your heart beats out of control.

"We can't have that, can we?" he's following your lead with the callback, and your cheek presses into his palm.

"I don't know." you answer, and your voice is faint. "I'm scared this'll be a dream." you proceed as Hotch's eyes scan over your frantic face. "I'll wake up and find out that this was all in my head, and the only memories I get to hold on to are from that night." Hotch's lips purse, head shaking in denial as you inhale shakily.

"No, not this time. an ambitious remark. "This time it's real." he promises. "This time I'm here with you to make sure that all those things you felt that night, and earlier by the bar, are how you keep feeling about me." he answers truly. "I'm here to love you back for as long as you'll have me. Is it alright for me to feel that way?" he asks, and your hand jumps up to keep his squished in place against your face.

"You can feel however you want." you reply, and he laughs, a full blown chuckle escaping him as his face seems to light up like a thousand suns. His eyes glisten, twinkling as he looks down at you, like everything was right in the world. And to him it was. Nothing and nobody could hurt you here.

"Good. Then I choose whatever this between you and I leads to, I choose the feelings that come with that." You smile grows to an almost blinding brightness as you reach across the console to hug him, and pull him into your arms. He's quick as he presses a peck to the top of your head, eyes still dancing over you as if he was seeing you for the first time. And maybe he was, that part wasn't your business, all you knew was that loving Aaron was easy, it could be.

A long time coming, but a wait well worth it. Lucky you.

[lovegasmic]

regarding bff gojo, (sorry if this is insane) but can i request a bff gojo x fem!reader x random girl where they have a 3sum but gojo eventually just ends up paying attention to reader bcs he’s IN LOVE W HER ??!

⋆ mdni. bff gojo satoru. basically all things that happen in a threesome: Satoru, you and the girl make out w eachother, fingering, creampie ( to reader ). AAA NOT INSANE AT ALL I GOT BUTTERFLIES READING YOUR ASK 🫶.

 ⋆ tried this w a different writing style aaa idk how to feel. anyways... let me know what u think.

sometimes you wondered what Satoru’s hidden skill was, to make you fall so easily into his schemes. was the puppy eyes he gave you, adding how he wanted to spend more time with his adorable best friend? following the logic that Satoru even texted you from the toilet, separation anxiety perhaps. he was blunt and direct, that’s a fact, but you did not expect for your him to suggest a threesome all of a sudden, sure, you had sex once but you couldn’t quite wrap your head around the fact that Satoru was already planning a second time.

the girl sitting in his bed is quite pretty, and oddly similar to you, with the same hair, skin tone and body shape, it was kind of scary at first, but you brushed it off considering it was a mere coincidence. yet Satoru looks utterly excited, almost bouncing off the walls as his eyes trail from you to her, and again until someone speaks.

“come here” he gruffs, your best friend’s voice is already husky and deep with desire, tapping his thighs in a silent invitation for you to join as where his hands caress the other girl’s sides, he’s cupping her breasts but his eyes remain on you, “you’re gorgeous” it’s a whispered word that Satoru speaks with his gaze still locked in yours, swiftly shifting to her eyes as to make her feel as if the compliment was for the both of you, Satoru knows it wasn’t.

and he tries, of course he tries to give you the same eagerness, but you look so fucking sexy perched on his lap, helping him get the other girl’s shirt off and he wishes it was your hands on him instead.

“Satoru” you breathe out his name, —a slight warning for him not to let the girl out after he spent the last minutes making out with you—, and he looks at you like you’re water in a desert, lips red and puffy from the intense kissing. with a brief nod he turns to her, pressing kisses on her chest and up her throat, licking on the skin before hesitantly kissing her lips, from your position on your sides, you could see Satoru’s eyes open, slightly turning sideways to look at you again.

you chuckle softly, finding his behavior slightly adorable, like a puppy looking for approval. carefully you approach him, deciding to press kisses on his neck at the same time Satoru groans and the girl whines, his eyes fluttering close at the intoxicating sensation of your lips, making him messily stain the front of his boxers with precum.

a couple of minutes pass until you’re all naked, Satoru having placed you next to her as you gently kiss, and in any other situation, he could have found the sight incredibly hot, but he can’t ignore the pang of jealousy in his chest. why aren’t you kissing him?

“you taste so good” the girl smirks looking at you, and Satoru’s brow twitches, she licks her lips seductively, almost fully ignoring the man’s presence currently kneeling between your bodies.

“you too” you speak with your face burning, and your best friend can’t take it anymore, leaning down to kiss you himself, almost fucking your mouth with his tongue; from behind the messy sound of your lips clashing you hear a whimper, looking from the corner of your eyes how she touched herself at the sight, biting her lip for a fleeting second before Satoru is tilting your jaw roughly, forcing you to focus in him.

Satoru’s hand is quick to find her dripping cunt, plunging a finger that quickly turns into two to keep her busy, moaning as if it’s the best thing that has ever happened to her, all to make you spread your pretty thighs and allow the dripping head of his cock to press against your pussy, if he kept on just kissing you, he would have cum all over your belly.

“so good, baby” he groans, eyes darkened and dilated pupils looking down at you as his cock stretches you out, you could see the way his breath hitched in his throat with each inch engulfed in your warm cunt; it’s a mess of lewd noises, from the girl’s moaning to your whines and Satoru’s grunts as he fucked you both, occasionally she raises up, attempting to caress his naked body towering over yours, but your best friend only slides his fingers deeper and harder inside her pussy, making her whine and lean down on the bed again, giving him enough space to suck on your tongue and swallow your moans that are only meant for him.

you can’t help and feel dizzy at the way Satoru looks and fucks at you, grinding his hips down so perfectly you’re sobbing in pleasure, and, for a moment, you’re left speechless when he forces your knees up his shoulders, fucking you so deep you couldn’t help and cry out, digging your nails on his back. that’s all Satoru needs.

a whimper of protest is heard, you are trying to raise your head but he’s quicker, cleaning his hand off her slick in the sheets before using both thumbs to press down your forehead, keeping you pinned as his body engulfed you fully, forcing you in a mating press with his mouth tasting your screams and your pussy swallowing the whole girth of him down the base, messily creating a sound where his hips roughly smacked against your ass.

you wondered if he always fucked like that, but the stimulation on your clit rubbing on his pelvis, g-spot tortured by the fat tip of his cock and nipples continuously rubbing against his hard chest made you forget about the rest.

“fuck, sweetheart” Satoru lets out a broken moan, half surprised half as if he was in pain at the sight of your almost rolled back eyes, mouth hanging open in desperate cries at the same time your pussy fluttered wildly. “you’ll make me cum so hard, this pussy was made just for me” he groans, not stopping his thrusts even if you gasp and cream his cock, he’s almost drunk, his own eyes threatening to roll back at the flutter of your cunt, begging for his cum.

a few more thrusts and he’s cumming deep into your pussy, with a sharp groan that makes you shudder. “’Toru... where is...?” you attempt to ask, but Satoru couldn’t care less, leaning down to kiss you without replying, but instead humping your pussy slightly, testing the waters if you’re ready for another orgasm.

“dunno” he swallows, uninterested, licking down the path of your throat and jaw until his nibbling on your collarbone, “can I fuck you again?” he begs, and there are the puppy eyes Satoru always gives you when he wants something, and how can you refuse when your best friend is so cute.

[rinniessance]

DADDY'S FAVORITE GIRL ༊*·˚ - step dad!gojo x fem!reader

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to in the summer is a new step-dad. and you do not like the dangerous glint in his eyes every time he looks at you.

꒰ warnings: nsfw - dark content - mdni .ᐟ.ᐟ non-curse au. step dad!gojo, stepcest, age difference (reader is implied to be 21, gojo is in his late 30s), dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, cheating, heavy daddy kink, so many pet names (babygirl, pretty, doll, princess etc.), slight dacraphyllia, slight overstimulation, breeding kink, unprotected sex, virginity loss, corruption kink. plot is kinda messy 'cause i was rushing to get to the smut, sowwy ໒꒰ྀིっ˕ -｡꒱ྀི১ // word count: 5.1k ꒱ ꒰ notes: i am freely being my most disgusting self, thank you for supporting my little insane brain .ᐟ.ᐟ꒱

going away for college, the last thing you expected to come back to during summer break is a new step-dad. ever since your parents divorced when you were 14, your mom has been single – your teenage years, she dedicated herself to you, protecting you from your scumbag father, focusing on your future. you even agreed to delay your college admittance until you were 20, taking two gap years after your high school to stay at your hometown with her. your mom has the worst case of separation anxiety – which is why maybe you should’ve been more concerned when she gradually stopped texting you as the days went on. you assumed the best – maybe she found a hobby, maybe she reconnected with old friends, maybe she finally realized you are an adult and stopped babying you every waking moment. what you did not expect is for her to get married.

these are the thoughts running through you head as you stand in the middle of your living room, fresh out the airport, gawking at the man sleeping on the couch, and wonder how the fuck that happened. you would’ve honestly screamed and thought this was a squatter, or a robber, if not for all the wedding pictures obnoxiously decorating almost every available surface (god, how many photos do you need?). you try not to think too much about it – the flight was 6 hours, you barely got any sleep sitting to the smelliest man on the planet, and you just want to take a shower and go to bed. just as you start walking off, the front door swings open.

“oh my god, sweetheart, you’re home!” your mom’s voice booms through the quiet room resonating like a thunderclap in the middle of a still field. she runs to you, immediately pulling you into a hug which you happily return. you’re genuinely delighted to see her, albeit feeling a little weirded out by a man she decided to bring home. your mother looks over to the couch, man’s sleeping figure not moving once, and sighs with exasperation. “i assume he didn’t pick you up?”

“no but it’s okay…” you whisper quietly and gesture towards the figure on the couch with your head, “about that, though…”

“yeah, honey, i know, i am sorry i didn’t tell you. everything has been happening so quickly, i haven’t even had time to process it myself!” she squealed like a school girl. “his name is satoru gojo and we met at the charity event i went to six months ago.”

“since when do you attend charity events?” you ask, quirking the brow upwards.

“oh, i didn’t know what to do with myself ever since you moved out so i’ve been trying anything and everything. and look, the results have been phenomenal!” she giggled, frustration she had towards her husband about not picking you up melting away in front of your eyes. god, he really had her wrapped around his finger.

“okay, well, i am kind of tired so i wanted to go to bed. is it okay if we talk about this tomorrow?”

your mom suddenly looks down at her feet, a little embarrassed. what did she do.

“yes, about that… that room was sitting unutilized the whole time you were away so satoru and i thought it would be a good idea to remake it into a home office, kind of. your bed is still in there though! so you can sleep in the room no problem.”

“mom, what the fuck…” you whine. not only your room with all your memories and all your personality was gone and demolished, you now have to sleep in the room that was most likely used by him. “home office” my ass, you thought – your mom would not need it in a million years, and by the way she’s avoiding your gaze in shame, it was definitely not her idea.

“i’m sorry baby, but you’ve been away and…”

you interrupt her with a wave of your hand.

“whatever, i’m too tired to think about it. i’ll take a shower and go to bed, i don’t wanna deal with him until tomorrow,” you sigh with frustration and walk off into your home office, dropping your things on the floor.

what you don’t see as you walk off is the dangerous glint in satoru’s eyes as he listens to every bits of your conversation. you said the last sentence with so much poison, he thinks it might’ve struck him dead. gojo knows it will be difficult to get on your good side now but he likes to play these games on hard mode.

oh, you will be so much fun to break.

gojo satoru is a patient man – when he really wants something, he is content to wait until he gets it. that being the main reason why he approaches you slowly. it’s the next day after you arrive that he has a chance to introduce himself properly.

you leave the room after having the best night’s sleep – you really didn’t mind waking up in the office today, you must’ve been too tired to think straight and threw a fit yesterday. you make a mental note to apologize to your mom later. as you turn into the kitchen, you’re met with the view you wish did not have such a strong effect on you – your step-dad, freshly out of the shower, grey sweatpants low riding on his hips, is preparing what seems to be breakfast.

you’re so fucked.

you try to shake off the feeling of arousal washing over you. you may not have had a chance to have any sexual experiences yet, but you’re not that much of a virgin not to know when you’re feeling horny. you just wish it wasn’t due to the incredibly hot step-dad. the left-over frustration from previous night bubbles up like over spilled champagne and you decide to keep your distance. anger helps you keep yourself grounded, and you maneuver around the man to make breakfast, but you see that he prepared it for you already.

“oh, thank you,” you say quietly as he extends the plate to you.

“you’re very welcome, sweetheart.”

the nickname sends a shiver down your spine.

gojo turns to face you and gives you his breathtaking smile. you want to choke on your toast.

“i wanted to apologize for not picking you up yesterday. your mom told me so much about you, and i was excited to meet her ‘favorite girl’,” his eyes spark with a dangerous glint at the nickname, making you shrink into yourself, “but my work held me up, and then i think i went for a quick nap and… uh… ended up falling asleep,” he says with a light chuckle.

“that’s okay, i didn’t really mind the train ride,” you respond with visible discomfort,

he now stands next to you by the counter, his body heat palpable, melting over you like a scorching son. gojo’s all-teeth smile is gorgeous, frustratingly enough, but it makes your skin crawl: like a prey walking into the carefully designed trap, you can feel your gut asking you to run. it makes sense your mom fell for him so easily.

“will you let me make up for it? let’s go our for a dinner, i’m sure your mom would be delighted to hear we’re trying to get along.”

“i don’t know, i haven’t seen my friends in some time, i think i’ll be hanging out with them for a while,” you shuffle from leg to leg, trying to move away

“that’s okay, we have a whole summer ahead.”

for some reason it felt more like a threat than a promise.

you smile politely back, not knowing what to say, rushing to finish your breakfast. the image of your step-dad, half-naked in your family kitchen talking to you about his plans with you for the whole summer should be weird – it’s difficult to find it weird when the said step-dad is criminally hot, unfortunately.

“i think i’ll go now, thanks for the breakfast,” gojo’s gives you a smile so sweet, it somehow triggers a toothache, and waves you off. since yesterday, he’s been making you feel extremely on edge for no apparent reason, it’s driving you a little insane.

when you come back home that evening, you are greeted by both your mom and satoru with the dinner ready. she babbles about how great of a cook he is, and that she can’t wait until you try it. you politely decline citing that you’re full and quickly leave for your room – satoru’s blue eyes were looking at you with almost an animalistic stare, and you hated that you liked it.

gojo thought things were going well with you – he’s given you the space you need in the first two weeks after you arrived. your mom was overjoyed seeing how deeply satoru already cared about you – making sure you eat in the morning, not letting you go to bed without a meal, always checking on you throughout the day, keeping you safe. you, however, thought it was… weird, if anything, that he was all around you this intensely.

“oh, honey, that’s just how he shows that he cares. he was like that with me as well,” your mom tells you one of the nights when you bring it up. it worries you how easily she takes his side now and wonder if something else is going on.

satoru picks you up when you stay out too late, to the wee hour of the night when the subways stop running; he makes sure you have your nights with your mom, when he doesn’t intrude on your backyard conversations and only adores you pretty features from his second-floor window; he learns what movies and music and tv you like, trying to decipher the person that is you.

he’s been putting all this effort to get to know your every step – then why the fuck does he find you one night you kissing some random boy on your driveway?

you said you were going out today and no pickup was needed – now it makes sense why.

gojo satoru is a patient man. but even his patience can start running thin, trickling like water through cracks in the fingers. hourglass of his kindness has been half full for a while now – it’s about time the sand runs out.

you think a boy like him can give you what satoru can? just you wait and see.

kitchen is uncharacteristically quiet when you walk in. it’s the next morning, and usually by now, satoru would be making breakfast for you. his job is still unknown – you are not sure if he was suddenly called in but the feeling of happy solitude falls over you, even if for a moment.

your mom is gone at least for two weeks for work, you’re dreading the moment you have to be left alone with your step-dad. the look in his eyes yesterday was dangerous, a predator appraising its victim before sinking its teeth in, and you’re happy megumi was able to leave quickly after walking you home. surprisingly, gojo didn’t say you a word when you walked into the house, silently sitting in front of the tv like he didn’t just spy through the window on your kiss with the boy.

air in the room was heavy with tension – you knew satoru was avoiding looking your way, jaw clenched, hands balled into fists. instinctively, you wanted to break the silence, say something to discharge the electricity jumping through the atoms of your stuffy living room air, but ultimately decided against it. you have nothing to say to a man, and it’s not like you needed to justify your actions in front of him anyways. you quickly retreated into the office and avoided him until you fell asleep.

when you woke up to an empty apartment not even fifteen minutes ago, you felt relief. walking into the kitchen and confirming your presence alone, you even felt happy. then what is this weird feeling, almost as if you are missing something, nagging at you? you thought of going out today but now a strange desire to stay at home washes over.

you make breakfast for the first time since you came home (gojo didn’t skip a single day, you have no idea how he kept up with that), and you chastise yourself for feeling weird about cooking for yourself; and you chastise yourself again when your mind lingers on the thoughts of a certain white-haired man; and again when you look at your phone, convincing yourself it’s a bad idea to text him. god, you feel so stupid. didn’t you want him to stop being so unsettlingly sweet and dotting around you all the time?

conflicted by your irrationality once again, you frustratingly take your plate and sit down on the couch. flipping through the netlifx previews, you land on something to distract your mind by. you settle on some true crime documentary and let the horrors on the screen consume you, abandoning for a moment the thoughts plaguing your head.

you’ve been glued to the screen for at least two hours before you heard the jiggle of the keys. like an eager puppy, you waited for gojo to come inside and greet you like he would every day – only for him to completely ignore your presence, beelining straight for the kitchen. turning your head back to the tv, you try your best not to pay any attention to the uncharacteristic behavior from satoru’s end.

“i will be in the home office the whole day, don’t enter.”

before you can respond anything back, your step-dad is already walking off without sparing you a second glance. is he still upset from yesterday? you didn’t think kissing megumi would be that much of a deal. your nervously play with the hem of the blanket, show playing on tv long forgotten, contemplating what you should do next. why are you bothered by his silence this much anyways?

rethinking your earlier choice, you send a quick text to your friend asking to meet you for drinks. maybe right now gojo needs space, or whatever, and leaving him alone is the best next thing right now. you knock at the door of the home office.

“sorry, i am going out now and need to quickly change.”

not even 5 seconds pass before the door is swung open by a man that’s been occupying too much of your mental space today.

“be quick,” is the only response you get before he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. you’re perplexed by this sudden change in behavior yet again. throwing on the first decent outfit you can find, you let gojo know that you’re done and will be home later; hum is the only acknowledgment you get before he disappears in the office.

exiling all the thoughts of satoru gojo from your head, you leave your house, hoping tomorrow will put all the pieces of the puzzle back together.

yet the next day comes, and you still wake up to no warmth from satoru – it felt as if he built a wall between the two of you in one night’s span, impossible to be breached. should you talk to him? should you apologize? and apologize for what? you didn’t do anything wrong, did you? ignoring the gnawing feeling inside once more, you retreat to the living room, sulking on the couch until the end of the day, clawing onto the hope gojo of tomorrow will acknowledge your existence.

“did i do something wrong?”

you stand in the doorway to gojo’s office, arms crossed over your chest. he lazily turns his head your way as if giving you even a second of his time is too much of a bother – the look he sends you is burning through your core, making you pathetically weak and wet.

“no,” he starts slowly, “do you think you did something wrong?”

“i don’t know! that’s why i’m asking. you’ve been ignoring me for the past week, and it’s getting weird.”

“i thought i’d leave you alone, it seems you’re capable of having fun on your own.”

satoru is looking back to his screen now, and you scrunch your eyebrows, frustrated by the riddles he’s throwing your way. walking inside the room, your close the door on instinct and take wide steps to stand in front of him.

“stop answering me like this, we’re not playing a charade. what do you mean?” the demand in your voice is clear, and it twists something inside satoru – his gaze falls on you again yet this time it’s dark, taunting, dangerous, with a hint of chaos. it scares and excites you.

gojo suddenly stands up, and pushes you into his desk until you’re sitting on it. he is tall – your mom basically married a giant – and you try to curl into yourself to escape his malicious eyes.

“what, i thought you wanted me to leave your alone? you want my attention now all of a sudden?” he respond with the question of his own in a mocking tone.

“i never said i wanted you to ignore me…” you answer meekly, yelping slightly as your back hits his desk – you suddenly realize there is nowhere to run now.

“really? we’ve been together in a house for almost a month now, and yet you showed no interest in getting to know me.”

“’m sorry…” you cannot think of anything else to say. gojo moves even closer, and is now towering over you – it makes you embarrassingly horny.

“show me how sorry you are.”

before you can respond, he is caging your body with his and capturing your lips in a kiss, and you freeze – all of this is so wrong, you cannot bring yourself to start moving your mouth against his. gojo’s tongue coerces its way inside, exploring the undiscovered paths, his teeth biting your still lips. closing your eyes, you whimper and try to push him away but he only catches your wrists with his one hand, while the other plays with the hem of your shorts. a gasp escapes your lips, and you push yourself further into the desk, squirming under gojo’s body.

“what, you don’t like it? i thought my little girl wanted daddy’s attention?” he torments you, voice condescending and thick with mockery. all you can muster is a pathetic mewl, words lost somewhere inside your throat, and dig your fingers into the edge of your desk as your step-dad forces his digits inside your panties, lightly brushing against your clit.

“god, you’re already so wet, so filthy,” he whispers between the heated kisses as the pads of his fingers keep teasing your pussy. “tell me, babygirl, are you still a virgin? gotta know how to treat you.”

“y-yes…”

“well, am i just not the luckiest?” gojo chuckles darkly, spreading your legs with his thigh. unoccupied hand goes to grip your hip while the fingers on the other are still working your clit, sliding the digits between your puffy lips, teasing your hole. every time he circles around the entrance and mocks by pushing his finger just slightly inside, the moan builds up in your throat, and you’re too embarrassed to let it out.

“common, baby, your daddy wants to hear you, don’t hide your pretty voice from me.”

gojo is infuriatingly good with his fingers – you could never bring yourself this much pleasure from playing with your clit, and your defiance starts melting away as you find yourself bucking your hips into his hand, whining pitifully. the man completely removes your shorts and underwear, shoving the latter into his pocket – something to remember this moment by.

“god, such a pretty pussy, i can’t believe you’ve been hiding it from me. take off your shirt so i can see all of you, princess.”

immense desire pools between your legs, hunger and lust evident in satoru’s cerulean eyes, now hidden by dilated pupils, and you’re surrendering yourself to him – want makes you delirious, completely erasing your sense of right and wrong. you remove the top, nipples perked and waiting. gojo looks at you in wonder and disbelief – all of that for him? his hand went to squeeze your boob almost on an instinct, rolling the nipple between the pads of his fingers, while sucking on another with his mouth. you drop your head back, losing yourself to the intense pleasure your step-dad’s giving you. seeing as you’re distracted by him playing with your tits, he takes this as his chance to shove two of his fingers inside.

a strangled moan leaves your lips, your hands gripping man’s shoulders.

“ahhh, that hurts, satoru.”

“nah-uh, that’s not what i want to hear you calling me,” he straightens himself and starts scissoring you with his digits. the initial intrusion is painful, you can feel your virgin walls stretching to accommodate for how he’s dragging the fingers in and out, yet the burn is woefully delightful, and you’re getting lost again.

“’m sorry daddy.”

gojo only chuckles – god, you were easier than he expected, so well-behaved and pliable under him.

“that’s right, let daddy take good care of you.”

he speeds up the pace, curling his slender, pretty fingers, brushing the spots you were never able to reach with your own. wet, soggy sounds fill the entirety of the room, air already stuffy with smell of sex as he continues to finger-fuck your pussy. gojo could feel his cock twitching in his pants, he wanted to take you right there and then, but he was determined to make you cum on his digits first – it prompts him to attach his lips to your neck, sucking on the sensitive spot below your jawline, marking you as his.

your mewling turns louder, breathing is getting labored, and it seems your hips have a mind of their own now as they are bucking into satoru’s movements, fucking yourself how you need it. something akin to orgasm starts building up in your tummy – it has never felt this all-consuming, you wonder if you’ve been touching yourself wrong all this time.

“daddy, please don’t – ah! – stop,” is everything you can say in a measly attempt to ask him to speed up. his thumb finds your neglected clit, rubbing tight circles around your bundle of nerves, and picks up the pace, cunt now clenching even tighter around his two fingers, and gojo groans thinking how you’d feel around his aching dick. he adds a third finger – it’s angled so perfectly assault your special spongy spot, it turns your brain into a mush.

gojo pinches your nipple, kissing you to swallow all the lewd moans to himself.

“is my princess close?”

“yes daddy, ‘m so close.”

“common, cum all over my fingers, baby.”

these words finally push you over the edge – your climax washes over you like a cold morning shower, leaving you trembling in gojo’s hold. your legs are trying to close to stop the man from continuing his abuse on your twitching pussy but he is too lost in the feeling of your walls constricting around his fingers to allow you to do that. he fucks you through your orgasm, bringing you to the realm of overstimulation.

“ahh, daddy, please, it hurts now,” you whine with teary voice, beads of salty water gathering in the corners of your eyes.

“shhhh, daddy knows best, yeah? let me feel you a little longer.”

gojo keeps his pace until you’re clawing at his arm, trying to pull away your pussy from his fingers. he grabs you by the back of your head, bruising your lips with the intensity of his kiss – you’re sure he draws blood by how he bites your lower lip, licking the messy aftermath. you’re still whining and mewling, trails of tears finally flowing down your face, and he’s sure he’s never seen anything hotter as he licks the salty tracks.

“you’ve done so good, babygirl, i think you’re ready for the main gift,” satoru says and finally withdraws his fingers. the emptiness is welcoming yet disappointing, and you groan. gojo quickly unbuckles his pants and shoves them down, alongside his boxer briefs, and you almost choke on your spit when you see how well-endowed he is. you don’t have a lot to compare it to but you think his cock is beautiful – it's long and slender, and uncut, prominent vein running all the way from the base to just underside of his head, and you get an immeasurable desire to run your tongue along it.

“is my pretty doll drooling jus’ at the sight of my dick?” he mockingly asks you, making you turn your gaze away. gojo chuckles again, and grabs you by your chin, pulling your head down.

“no looking away, darling, i want you to see how i take your virginity.”

with no other option, you keep your gaze peeled downwards, to where gojo strokes himself couple of times before lining himself up with your leaking hole. despite all the preparation and your previous orgasm, you’re still incredibly tight and satoru groans as he starts pushing himself inside. you can see his smooth cockhead bullying his way into you, stretching your greedy walls – man feels you pulsating around him, and that makes him twitch.

“fuck, princess, you’re so tight, feels so good.”

gojo finally sinks all the way in, your cervix being met in a kiss by a swollen tip, and you moan, sound almost pornographic. your step-dad doesn’t let you adjust before he pulls out almost all the way before sliding back in – he doesn’t go easy on you for your first time, setting up a brutal pace, not caring if you’re ready to take him fully yet. it stings, and you have to hold yourself on gojo’s shoulder’s as he starts fucking into you. his hands are on your hips, guiding them to meet his thrusts.

“daddy please, ‘ts too much,” you cry out but satoru is all too lost in how your gummy walls perfectly hug his swollen cock. he doesn’t respond, shutting you up by forcing his tongue into his mouth yet again, sucking on every piece of available flesh. slowly, the tension in your body melts away and gives way to a new kind of pressure – the one building up in your tummy. you’re shocked at how fast your body is able to start getting on the road to blissful ecstasy again but you’re not complaining.

“shit, are you getting close already, babygirl? i can feel your pretty pussy squeezing me again.”

“yes, sorry daddy.”

“there is nothing to be sorry about, just means your daddy’s doing a good job,” he says with a grin, keeping up the pace, rutting into your sloppy cunt. queefing sounds and slapping of skin on skin make you blush furiously yet you can’t take away your gaze from where satoru keeps burying himself inside you.

the girth of gojo’s cock is deadly – not only he’s able to reach the spongy spot almost immediately, making white spots dancing across your vision, kaleidoscope of pleasure lighting up your every nerve ending, he is also bruising your cervix just with enough pressure to make you twitch in delight. his pubic bone grinds against your puffy clit and it’s setting up fireworks against your skin, hot molten lava igniting your whole being.

your moaning becomes uncontrollable as satoru’s fucking you in an animalistic pace – he keeps splitting you open, the spread of legs is slowly growing uncomfortable.

“look how good you’re taking me, being such a good girl for me,” he’s babbling, edging himself too – he wants to feel you spasming around his cock, he cannot let himself cum before that. “gonna feel so good cumming inside, pretty. give you a cute little brother or sister, huh? what do you think? i bet you’ll look so gorgeous being pregnant with my baby.”

“no, daddy, you can’t do that…”

“hm, why? just imagine, you walking around, with my child inside your belly, all cute and swollen for me, tits full of milk. wouldn’t you want that?”

you hiccup a sob as gojo keeps dragging his heavy cock in and out of you, the vein you saw before pressing against your walls deliciously, and you feel your toes start to curl as your body chases after the second orgasm. you dig your nails into his biceps, certain to leave half moon marks on his porcelain skin, and bite your lip. in turn, he is pressing his fingers against the plum skin of your hips, marking you with bruises to remind you of this tomorrow.

“shit, i haven’t fucked your cunny for that long yet it’s already perfectly snuggled around me. i’m training it fast, huh? i’m gonna teach it to fit only me,” you can hear the grin in his voice as he says that.

gojo feels your walls tighten around him – he can see you’re teetering on the edge of climax, whining and moaning under the man, letting him completely use you – so he picks up the speed, assaulting your abused pussy. it doesn’t take longer than that for the tension in your tummy to snap, and you’re wantonly crying out satoru’s name.

“fuck, dollface, you’re squeezing me so perfectly right now. want to milk me for all i’ve got?”

you’re cock drunk, unable to respond to him, hoping your mewling will be enough for the man to see he fucked you stupid. he is not showing signs of slowing down – you can only continue whining as satoru chases after his own pleasure. he pistons his hips couple of times more, and you can feel him throbbing inside as he shoots creamy ropes of cum inside you, painting your womb white. the ring of mixed fluids at the bottom of his cock drives him insane, and he continues fucking his cum into you.

“shit baby, can’t waste a single drop now, can we.”

you’re letting out a quiet sob, pleasure too overwhelming and almost feverish, still unable to find your voice. when he deems it satisfactory that his seed is all warm inside you, gojo finally pulls out and kisses the top of your head.

“i’d say this was a good practice run, what do you say? your mom only comes back in a week, i’ll make you my personal cumdump until then.”

you snap your head up at his words, the smile playing on your step-dad’s face borderline sinister. you think it’s supposed to make you scared, then why is your pussy already twitching around nothing?

“yes daddy, anything for you.”

[surielstea]

Plaguing Dreams

Based on this request!

Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader (mates)

Summary: After a particularly jarring dream, Reader is unsure how to separate it from reality.

Warnings: Mentions of adultery | happy ending | crack fic | mostly fluff | slight hurt/comfort

1.5k words

"Please, baby it's not what it looks like!" My mate scrambled from our bedroom, the one I had entered only to find some foreign whore who I hadn't recognized in my bed, with my husband.

I didn't quite know how to process it. I slammed the door shut in his face, my breath stolen from me at the sight.

The door swung open, revealing Azriel, this time with a shirt on.

"Baby, cmon," He reaches his hands out towards me with bunched brows. But once the shock subsided, anger took over.

"Don't, baby me. Are you fucking serious?" I looked at him with wild amusement in my eyes, my breath shaky as I attempted to calm it.

But deep down I didn't want to be calm, I wanted to rage and scream at him until my anger echoed like an incessant, permanent ringing in his ears.

"I swear to you, it's not what it looked like," He lowered his voice, his hands coming towards me like I was some rabid animal on the side of the road in need of taming.

"Swear to me? Like you swore an oath on our wedding day?" I ask, entirely consumed by my fury that was only multiplying the more and more he silently stared at him.

"For The Mother's sake Azriel, not what it looks like? You and another woman were naked in our bed. Ours." I gesture between us to stress my point.

"We can figure this out," His hand found purchase at my arm. My brows knotted as I looked down at the touch. Something was off. I couldn't put my finger on it, I just, sensed it.

"What is there to figure out? We're fucking done." I spit at him.

"C'mon baby don't be like that," He sighed as if this was boring him, like I was a chore for him to be dealt with.

"Do you hear yourself? You sound fucking insane," I grit out, pulling at my arm but his grip is iron. "Let me go."

"Once you calm down, I will." He said coolly and my rage doubled over. Calm down?

I looked down at his hold on me, the area around his grip now reddening. That's when I realized, he bore no scars, the ones his wretched half-brothers gave him were simply gone.

I look at him confused, blinking at him in pure bewilderment. Was the rage getting to my brain? Hadn't his hands been scarred? "Hey look at me," He demanded and despite myself I did as he said, meeting his grey eyes. Wait— no hadn't they been hazel? I shook my head, unsure who this was that stood in front of me but it certainly wasn't my mate. "Us Illyrians can't stay with the same girl for long, but you knew that from the beginning didn't you lovely?" He cupped my cheek with his free hand, the feel of his hands without scars sent a shiver down my spine. It made my skin crawl and my heart ache. "You knew I'd tire of you eventually, isn't that right?" He beamed, spinning on his heel back to our bedroom door that was left ajar, the nude female still lounging in our bed.

His lack of wings sent a wave of unfamiliarity through me and suddenly this stranger didn't look anything like the male I knew, not one bit. From the way he moved to his all-too-smooth voice.

"Go on and get out of here, you bore me."

I gasped, sitting upright in my bed. It had all been a dream. A stupid, unrealistic dream. I blinked, rubbing at my eyes and erasing the feel of sleep from them. Blindly I reached towards Azriel's side of the bed only to find it empty. My anxiety spiked but it quickly decreased when I noticed his pillow was still warm.

I release a soft sigh as I clamber from our mattress, running my hands through my hair once or twice as I make my way out of our bedroom.

The nightmare was burnt into the back of my head, a searing tattoo that was growing infectious. I groaned, rubbing my head in agony as a migraine seeped through the cracks of my skull.

I stumble into the dining room, in search of a glass of water only to find my mate leaning over the stove, making breakfast.

Shadows curl around my ankles and he turns to look at me.

I decided I no longer was thirsty. "Good morning," He smiled softly but I only spun on my heel and trudged into the sitting room. I could still feel his eyes on me. "Did you sleep well?" He asks, stepping slightly out of the kitchen to watch me slump onto the couch, shrugging in reply to his question.

His brows crease but he nods and returns to the kitchen.

I folded my knees up to my chest, winding my arms around them tightly as I thought about that dream. He was hard to look at the same, I know I was being irrational, who he is in my dream has nothing to do with reality, but my mother was a seer, maybe the ability to see visions was passed down to me.

Azriel peeked his head out of the kitchen to look at me. "Breakfast is ready," He informed and I slowly nodded, my mind elsewhere.

He frowned, leaving the kitchen and approaching me. "Is everything alright?" He tilts his head, squatting down in front of me and taking my hands in his, the familiar feel of his scars makes me remember how foreign it felt in my dream. I knew it wasn't him, and practically I should just let this go. But I can't get the image out of my head.

"Where were you last night?" I manage to get out, squeezing his hands, memorizing those scars that I’ve never been so grateful for.

"I was at Rita's, with you and Cass," He said with a concerned expression. "Are you feeling okay baby?" He brings the back of his hand to my forehead.

I veer away from his touch and stand, moving past him, striding towards the kitchen. "I feel fine," I murmur while grabbing a plate from the cupboards.

"My love," Azriel sighs, shadows slinking up my calves as he wraps his arms around my torso, pulling me into his chest. I lean into the warmth as his lips come down to the junction between my shoulder and neck.

"I'm begging you, tell me what's wrong," He said into my skin. It wasn't fair of me to do this to him. "Let me make it up to you, whatever I did let me fix it," He pleads and I shake my head.

"You didn't do, anything," I sigh while building a plate of homemade food, by the Gods he had been kind enough to make me breakfast. "I just had a stupid dream, that's all." I pat his hand that was splayed on my abdomen, silently dismissing him.

He only clung to me tighter. "Don't do that," He lifts from my neck. "Don't ignore your feelings for my benefit, tell me what's on your mind," He said, his voice calm as his arms loosened, allowing me to turn around to face him.

I look up at him, into his hazel eyes that I often found myself drowning in. Who he was in my dream is not who stood in front of me now. I take one long breath before muttering, "You cheated on me."

His brows lift, his lip curling as if even the idea was preposterous.

"In my dream, I caught you with some other girl— it's kind of a blur but, it just, affected me," I shrug, brushing it off, and his scowl deepens.

"You know I would never even think about doing anything close to that—" He begins to wind himself up and my shoulders relax, smiling slightly as he looks just as disgusted as I must've in my dream.

"Az," I cup his jaw, my thumbs rubbing along his sharp cheekbones. "I know, I know you," I smile. "It shouldn't have gotten to me," I shake my head.

He intertwined our hands and brought them to his lips, softly kissing each of my knuckles in order to shut himself up.

"If I could, I'd kill whoever that guy was in your dreams," He hummed, and an amused smile spread across my lips.

"He didn't have your eyes," I shake my head, inching closer to his lips. "Didn't have your scars." I sling my arms around his shoulders. "Not even your wings," I purred, running a nail down the membrane of his impressively large black wings.

He looks at me with a raised brow, his eyes gleaming with something more primal.

Suddenly he hoists me up into his arms, taking me out of the kitchen and carrying me down the hall. I giggle, halting my teasing on his wing.

"Breakfast will get cold," I protest and he only shakes his head.

"Let it, I need to show you that you're the only girl I will ever want," He stated and my grin widened, as I kissed up his neck softly.

"Sounds good to me," I murmur as he lays me down on the mattress.

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[st4rpiece]

sleeping separately after an argument pt. 1

SFW

characters: luffy, zoro, usopp, and sanji x fem! reader summary: how the strawhat boys would react to you sleeping alone after an argument CW: mainly fluff, slight angst others: not proofread, lowercase intended, and pictures found on pinterest

—————

Monkey D. Luffy

luffy doesn't handle conflict well, especially not one with someone he cares deeply about. after the argument you guys had earlier, he would never suspected that you would sleep else where for the night.

at first, he would brush it off, thinking you just needed some space and that you would return to your shared room soon. but, as the night wore on, he'd find himself restless. constantly tossing and turning unable to lay as comfortably as before now that he was alone. luffy would eventually get up and wander over to your old room.

knowing him he’d poke your face (gently of course) while whispering, "hey, are you still mad at me?" his big eyes would reflect genuine concern and confusion. but because you were asleep you couldn’t respond, so he would get into your bed and curl up next to you, determined to be close even if you were still upset. you’d wake up the next day to a goofy grin and a sincere apology, as he was eager to make things right.

Roronoa Zoro

arguments with zoro are often intense but short-lived. so when you decide to sleep separately after a fight, zoro (like luffy) would be taken aback. however he, unlike luffy, would initially be too proud to go after you. so instead he’d brood silently, replaying the argument in his head while sharpening his swords.

you were the dramatic one. right?

as the night deepened, his stoic façade would crack, causing the gnawing sense of regret to seep in. he’d eventually get up, quietly making his way to your old room.

“babe?” his voice was uncharacteristically soft cautiously enters the room. after seeing your sleeping figure his demeanor immediately softens.

without a word, he'd lie down on the floor next to your bed, his presence a silent apology. he would wake up before you like usual but after breakfast he would pull you aside giving you a gruff but sincere apology, his actions speaking louder than his words.

God Ussop

usopp is sensitive and prone to overthinking. after any argument, he'd probably be filled with anxiety and self-doubt. which would worsen after you decide to sleep separately. he'd pace around, muttering to himself and crafting elaborate scenarios in his head of what this could mean.

is this it?

do you not love him anymore?

were you going to break up with him?

eventually, he'd muster the courage to approach you, armed with a heartfelt speech. ready to kneel beside you and pour his heart out with the promise to do better. but after walking to your old room and seeing you sleep so soundly his resolve would soften. not wanting to wake you he would leave telling himself that he’d apologize in the morning.

instead of going to bed though he would go to his factory deciding to make you a small gift to show his sincerity. he would place that along with a short an apology letter by your door. hoping to give you a better apology in the morning.

Vinsmoke Sanji

sanji would be devastated if you chose to sleep separately after an argument. unlike usopp, he wouldn’t overthink it. he knows you love him just needed some space. despite thinking that, he would never let you go to sleep upset especially not at him.

so he'd spend the majority of the night in the kitchen, preparing ingredients for tomorrow and making you a midnight snack.

with a tray of food on hand he’d softly knocks on the door of your old bedroom, his voice both gentle and cautious. “my love? i brought food. can i come in so we can talk?”

your lights were on so he knew you were up, after waiting for a minute or so he would let out a relieved sigh as you opened the door and making room for him to enter.

you guys would spend the rest of the night talking about your argument except this time with a much clearer head. once he knew that you both were on the same page he would bring you back to your share room to sleep.

—————

hi guys! thanks for reading, this is my first attempt at writing hc so idk if i did it right lol but it was fun!! i also have a couple more characters in my draft using this idea. i’ll post them if this does well (fingers crossed).

part 2 is posted!!

[miniseokminnies]

rivers and roads —- c.hs

˚｡ pairing: chwe hansol x afab!reader ˚｡ genre: friends to lovers, idiots to lovers ˚｡ wc: 5.6k ˚｡ warnings: 18+ MDNI, drug mention (weed), alcohol mention, one uncomfortable situation with a stranger who is a man, lying to hotel staff, spit kink, oral [m. receiving], multiple orgasms, praise kink, slight dacryphilia, insecurity, anxiety, slight angst with a happy ending ˚｡ synopsis: having just graduated college and having some time before the real world starts two best friends decide to take a road trip that might change their friendship forever. ˚｡ playlist: rivers and roads

mood board by: @myhimbomingi

You smooth your hands over the rough polyester of your ugly blue graduation gown. Staring ahead and starting to fidget in line to walk across the stage you felt a hand slip into yours and give a supportive squeeze. Looking up your eyes met the deep brown of your best friend, Hansol’s. 

“Nervous?” he asked softly, beginning to rub circles on the back of your hand with his thumb. Your eyes drifted back to the stage and you nodded,

“What if I trip?” you muttered as the two of you moved forward in the line, the monotonous announcer continuing to read through the names of your graduating classmates. Hansol chuckled, knowing that your concern is valid, but not anything you needed to worry about. Hansol and yourself have been friends since college orientation the summer before your freshman year. The two of you were in the same group and immediately clicked. Slowly the two of you expanded your group, mostly consisting of the two of you and some guys that lived on Hansol’s dorm floor freshman year. 

“Chwe Hansol” the announcer boomed over the microphone. He smiled down at you and you felt his hand slip out of yours. 

***

“So does anyone have any big plans before we join the workforce?” your friend Seokmin smiled at your group’s last weekly Saturday lunch before you all went your separate ways. 

“Y/N and I are going on a road trip” Hansol said nonchalantly without looking up from his menu. Joshua and Jeonghan exchanged a quick glance, 

“Oh? Where to?” the latter asked. 

“Dunno” you shrugged, “just taking two weeks to see where we end up” Jeonghan nodded, glancing at Joshua again. 

“Sounds boring” Junhui muttered, engrossed in his phone, “ow!” he yelped as Minghao shoved his elbow into his ribs. 

*** 

Clutching onto the straps of your duffle bag you began to bounce on the balls of your feet. You saw Hansol’s red pick up truck pull into the parking lot of your apartment complex and you slung your backpack over your left shoulder and your duffle over your right and bounded out the door. Hansol laughed as he spotted you, so clearly excited. He wordlessly took your duffle and placed it in the back of the cab behind the passenger’s seat. You set your backpack on the floor of the passenger's seat and climbed into the truck. 

“Ready?” Hansol asked as he got behind the wheel.  You smiled widely at him and nodded. He gave you a single nod and started the truck. 

Driving with Hansol was always something you enjoyed, the two of you spent a lot of time during college just driving around. He always had new music to play for you. He was always a comfort for you, and comfortable silence, apart from the music from the speakers, took over the drive quickly. 

After a few hours of driving and intermittent conversation, you felt your eyelids getting heavy. You shifted in your seat, trying to get more comfortable. 

“Close your eyes, nap” Hansol said softly without looking away from the road. 

“Mmm, keeping you company” you mumbled, closing your eyes and leaning your cheek on your hand. 

“I’m fine, Y/N” he chuckled. You nodded, slipping into sleep quickly. Hansol looked over at your sleeping form, and feeling an odd sensation in his chest, looked back to the road. 

You felt a hand on your shoulder, shaking you awake, “Y/N” you heard Hansol, your eyes fluttered open, seeing him close to you. 

“Hm?” you hummed, rubbing your eye and looking up at him. 

“I found a motel, they have a room for us” he told you. You nodded and picked up your backpack from the floor. Hansol already had your duffle over his shoulder and his backpack on. Once you were settled he began leading you toward the room he rented.  

“Where are we?” You called to Hansol from the bathroom and squeezed some of your cleanser into your hand. 

“About six hours south of your apartment,” your friend appeared in the doorway to the bathroom, now in his pajamas, and leaned against the doorframe, “I don’t know the name of the town, or what’s here” 

Once the two of you were ready for bed you settled in one of the two beds in the room. 

“Good night, ‘Sol” you yawned. Hansol hummed in response and shut off the light. 

*** 

You were up before Hansol the next morning. Letting him sleep you slipped into the shower, what felt comfortable in the car the previous day was now responsible for some stiffness.  You let the warm water run over your body, getting lost in the feeling. You’re not sure how long you stood there enjoying the warmth loosening your tight muscles before you heard the bathroom door swing open.  

“Y/N?” you heard the sleepy voice of Hansol call out, “I’m…I just need to piss” 

“Go ahead,” you replied, trying to be less awkward than your friend and beginning the process of washing your hair.  

“Breakfast?” you asked, sitting on the edge of Hansol’s bed after your shower.  Looking up from his phone he nodded eagerly at you, 

“Please, I’m starving.”

***

Hansol and yourself didn’t stay in that town long after the meal, it was small and there wasn’t much to see beyond the amazing local breakfast cafe and your motel.  The two of you have been on the road for a few hours now.  

“I love this song,” Hansol mumbled, a laugh escaped your lips, “What? I do!” he scoffed at your reaction, 

“I know, Hansol,” you reach across the center console to take the partially smoked joint from behind his ear, “I was the one who played you this song, remember?” He watched you from the corner of his eye place his joint between your lips and bring his zippo to the end, lighting it up. 

Hansol does remember hearing this song for the first time, the crackle of your old record player in your college apartment. You looked similar to how you do now, hair tied up haphazardly, baseball cap from the university bookstore you bought that orientation day on your head. Admittedly, the hat is much more worn now. You took your single puff of his joint before passing it to him to finish off that day too. 

This may be his favorite you he ever gets to see. A single blow of smoke escaping your lips. You only ever want the one, and Hansol only ever smokes his half of the joint when you start it for him. Currently, he was trying to calm his racing heart, and trying to distract himself from the fact that the joint was between your lips a few moments ago.  

“Of course I do,” he took the joint between his fingers, drumming the steering wheel, “Feels different now…” he trailed off listening to the words, a year from now, we'll all be gone, all our friends will move away. Absentmindedly, he thought about how different things might be after he drops you off at your apartment in two weeks.  

You watched as he blew smoke toward the window, he got this far away look in his eyes, you knew he was thinking.  You knew better than to ask, Hansol was a man of few words, and if he wanted to talk about it, he would.  Eyeing him you turned up the volume on the radio, you saw the corner of his mouth quirk up ever so slightly, you knew he appreciated the gesture, one of not making him talk before he was ready.  

The drive droned on like this for the majority of the day, eventually the smoke stopped curling towards the window as Hansol had smoked it all away, he would need to roll more before bed.  Eventually, you saw Hansol blinking furiously, trying to stay awake. 

“‘Sol” you reached out to touch his arm, “Maybe we should take a break” he jumped slightly at your touch, so focused on the road. 

“Where…” he chuckled, once he had regained his calm demeanor, “we’re in the middle of nowhere” you only shrugged in response, 

“Pull over, it doesn’t matter” and soon the impenetrable line of trees on the side of the road gave way to an open field. Hansol pulled his truck off the road matting down the grass in its wake, he drove close to the tree line, worried about getting in trouble if someone saw the car from the road. Once the truck was safely in park you watched Hansol reach to the back of the cab and tugged a few blankets toward you two. Wordlessly he opened his door and moved toward the bed of the truck. 

Turning around you watched him spread the blankets in the bed through the back window. He poked his tongue through his teeth in concentration, when he was finished he hopped off the bed and moved toward your side of the truck. You scrambled to look nonchalant, and as if you totally were not watching him, a ghost of a smile playing at your lips. 

“C’mon then” he opened up your door. Following him out to the back he helped you up. Laying on your back you felt the plush of the blankets and watched Hansol as he settled down next to you. Once he was comfortable you turned your eyes to the sky and covered your eyes with your forearm. The hand nearest to Hansol was left in its place, unbeknownst to you, his pinky inched closer, trying to build the confidence to take the plunge. 

You woke up to a cool drop of water plopping directly onto your forehead.  When did you fall asleep?  Barely having the time to wonder before the skies open up and begin to drench Hansol and yourself.  

“Hansol!” you sat up and shook his shoulders, “Hansol!”  his eyes fluttered open slowly, somehow for a moment you forgot the rain was beating down on you as you watched his eyes soften from the confusion they held when he first woke.  The softness he usually works so hard to shield you from was on full display, you wanted to stay in this fleeting moment forever, but you realized just as quickly as the gaze softened it turned panicked. 

“Oh my God!” he sat up, almost bumping his head on your nose, “it’s pouring” he stated almost too simply.  The two of you worked to heave the now soaking blankets out of the bed of the truck and into the back of the cab.   

Hansol slams his door shut and throws his head back against the rest behind him.  He pushes a hand through his now sopping wet hair.  Turning to look toward him you catch his eyes taking in his appearance.  After a few seconds of holding eye contact the two of you burst into a fit of laughter.      

The drooping fan blades cut through the stale hot air on the ceiling of the motel about thirty miles from where you got caught in the storm.  You were sprawled out on the bed looking up at the fan, finally feeling warm now that you were able to change out of your wet clothes.   

Hansol was still down in the lobby, trying to talk the motel manager into letting him use their large driers for the blankets. Finally, you heard the door open and the squish of socks inside wet shoes approach you. 

“One bed?” Hansol asked. You propped yourself up on your elbows, looking him up and down, stifling another bout of laughter at his state of disheveledness. 

“That’s kind of what happens when you take a trip without a plan” you pointed out, letting yourself smile so he knew you were joking.  Hansol rolled his eyes, a lazy smile tugging at his lips. 

“I guess you’re right” the softness in his eyes returns for a moment, before he remembered he was dripping on the floor, “I’m gonna change…” you flopped back on the bed and resumed the exhilarating activity of watching the blades of the fan lazily cutting the air. 

The bathroom door clicked closed and you heard Hansol’s muffled sigh. Imagining him hanging his wet clothes next to yours over the bar of the shower you tried to ignore the heat rising in your cheeks. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor” Hansol stated, startling you, you were too deep in thought to notice him. You watched as he busied himself with taking out his phone charger. 

“No” you sat up again, “there’s no need to do that, it’s not like we didn’t fall asleep next to each other earlier” you watched him turn to you, greedily taking in his form, his baggy sweats and his t-shirt, “plus this floor is more than likely disgusting” 

“Good point” he smiled at you, moving toward what he decided is his side of the bed, the side closest to the door. The two of you settle under the covers and Hansol clicks off the lamp on his side, “Goodnight Y/N” he mutters 

“Goodnight ‘Sol” your back was turned to him, but your eyes were stuck open, feeling the adrenaline of an invisible line being crossed. 

*** 

“Do you think everyone in this town is this stupid?” Hansol asked incredulously as the car in front of you break checked him. 

“Probably,” you kicked your feet up on his dashboard, “I bet they teach them all to do this at driver’s ed, to cut people off when they’re from out of town” Hansol laughed at your made up story, 

“We need to find a city I think” he muttered, “I’m a little tired of motels and small towns” Nodding in agreement you reached for the joint behind his ear, freshly rolled before you left this morning, and tried to not think about the way that his tongue darts out to wet his lips.  Hansol slowed at the red light and you felt his heavy gaze as you lit the joint.  You had to all but hold yourself down so you didn’t squirm under the sudden attention, inhaling and blowing the smoke toward the window.  Meeting his eyes you placed the joint between his lips as the light turned green.  

***

“We have no rooms that will accommodate you” the snobby hotel clerk sneers at you from behind the desk.  The two of you had found a city six hours west of where you started this morning, and the hotel you decided to try evidently had standards, ones that your leggings and Hansol’s basketball shorts didn’t meet.  You opened your mouth to argue, but Hansol beat you to it, 

“Look,” he started, surprising you, “it’s our honeymoon,” you had to stop yourself from staring at him like he had grown a second head, “the hotel we had reserved, they double booked us, it doesn’t need to be your best, just a room.” The clerk sighed and began typing furiously clicking through his computer, you took the opportunity to glance at Hansol, questions evident on your face.  He merely shrugged with a lopsided smirk painting his face.  

“We had a last minute cancellation…” the clerk muttered reluctantly, once again taking in the state of your apparel, “Names please?” 

“Vernon and, “ he looked at you expectantly, after no less than a solid 15 seconds of panic you mustered up, 

“Kate” 

“Vernon and Kate Chwe” Hansol affirmed. 

“Well congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Chwe” the man behind the desk offered as he held out a pair of room keys and you had to ignore the way your stomach flips at the sound of that.  

The elevator dings and opens its doors to you.  Quietly, you both get inside and as the doors close, and not a second sooner you are turning to your friend, 

“What the Hell, Hansol?” you whisper urgently, “why—how did you lie like that?”

“You don’t spend as much time as I do with Yoon Jeonghan and not learn anything,” he shrugs, “it got us a room, didn’t it Kate?” 

As soon as the door opened to your hotel room you dropped your bag on the floor and rushed to the window.  The view overlooking the city was surely better in the other more expensive rooms but this was good enough for you.  Hansol leaned against the wall behind you and watched as you perched yourself in the window sill.  

The sun was just starting to set and you were determined to watch it disappear behind the skyscrapers.  Hansol folded his arms over his chest, acutely aware that the two of you had already been on this trip for almost a week. He tries not to let the reality of life after college, after the trip hit him square in the chest, not now, not when you were so intently watching the slow descent of the sun from the window in the hotel room he lied his way into.  Any of his friends would tell you that this was out of character, in any other situation Hansol is almost brutally honest, but if they knew it was for you, they wouldn’t bat an eye.  

Hansol genuinely lost track of time just watching you get lost in your world, before he knew it the stars were twinkling overhead and the sun was long gone.  

“I think we should go out” you announced without turning away from the window, Hansol’s heart jumped into his throat, 

“What?!” he sputtered, trying to process what you just said to him.

“There are clubs here I’m sure,” you turned to him, “we should go out tonight” at your clarification Hansol let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding.  

***

Clubbing wasn’t really Hansol’s scene, and you knew that, but you were hoping to help him break out of whatever anxiety fueled funk he had been in for almost the entire trip.  You saw the spark in his eyes a bit back at the hotel when he scored a room.  However, almost as soon as the two of you arrived at the club, he parked himself in a secluded corner near the bar and has been nursing a whiskey for the better part of an hour.  Currently, you could feel his gaze boring into the back of your head as you were talking to someone on the dance floor.  

“I’ve never seen you around here,” he puts a hand on your arm and leans into your ear so you could hear him over the music, “I frequent this spot, what brings you in?” you repressed a scoff, there’s no way this guy memorizes everyone coming to this club in this huge city.  

“Oh” you back up slightly, “I’m just on a road trip and passing through” he followed you as you tried to step away from him, trying to stay in close proximity with you.  

“Let me show you a good time then,” he put his hand back on your arm and the other on your hip.  Unbeknownst to you, behind you Hansol had downed the rest of his drink.  You felt a pair of arms snake around your waist and move you out of the man’s grasp.  Looking up you saw Hansol, his jaw squarely set. 

“Can I help you?” He nearly spat. You saw the other man’s eyes take in Hansol and then moved to rake over your body, “Speak up” Hansol glared. 

“I was talking with her,” the man crossed his arms.  

“And now” Hansol started turning you toward the exit, “you’re not” you melted into Hansol’s side and tried to just leave.  

“Who are you anyway?” the man called, catching Hansol’s arm, “You didn’t even ask her if she wanted to leave with you.” Hansol’s eyes drifted down to where the man had ahold of him, 

“I’m her husband,” he went to shake himself out of his grip but he was holding on tight, “I suggest you let go” the man’s hand dropped, “Good choice” and Hansol was sweeping you out of the building.  

The cool air of the summer night bloomed in your lungs as you breathed more easily out on the street.  Hansol has not let go of your waist, and you weren’t entirely sure if you wanted him to, after the alcohol and the interaction you had moments ago.  “Are you okay?” Hansol asked, taking a step back from you, planting his hands on your hips, his eyes searching yours in a panic.  

“I’m okay” you breathed, “but….thank you for stepping in when you did” He smiled at you, breathing a sigh of relief.  

“Let’s go” he slipped his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers, so no one could question him again.  

The walk home was…strange, to say the least.  Hansol had never kept his hand in yours longer than it took to give it a reassuring squeeze in the several years the two of you have been friends.  In addition to this, you never once felt like you wanted him to let go.  You never questioned his assertion that he is your husband back at the club, that’s what he told the hotel, so might as well continue that, right? 

In the elevator up to your room things only got stranger, Hansol wrapped his arms around your waist again, pressed the button for your floor, and unwrapped himself from you and stood at the opposite side of the small room, staring at you.  

Entering your hotel room you watched Hansol close the door behind you.  He took a deep breath and moved toward you, you stayed still, wondering what was about to happen. He cupped your cheek in his hand, setting a swarm of butterflies loose in your stomach.

“I think” he whispered, “if it’s okay with you, while we’re here, we should play pretend” his eyes searched yours again as his thumb moved to rest on your chin.  You nodded, however added, 

“Hansol…we, we’re friends…” your breath hitched as he applied pressure on your chin with his thumb, 

“Ah” he watched your mouth open at his request, “but we’re Vernon and Kate here, we just got married, babe” the pet name rolled off his tongue so easily as he got impossibly closer to you and spit into your now open mouth, you almost recoiled as his action, before realizing he was right.  What was there to lose at this point? You closed your mouth and swallowed without him having to ask, which earned you a groan, “God, what a good girl, I didn’t even have to ask…”  and then his mouth was on yours, falling into rhythm as if this was something that happened all the time.

Your arms wrapped around his shoulders and your fingers toyed with the hair at the nape of his neck.  His tongue swiped your bottom lip, requesting access that you swiftly granted.  His tongue explored your mouth with a fervor that if you were less distracted would make you wonder how long he has waited for this moment.  There was no time for thoughts like that, he was backing you toward the bed.  He sat you down on the edge with your legs dangling off, and broke the kiss.  Settling on the floor between your knees he began to help you remove your shoes, and then your pants, and he began to work towards your shirt before you cut him off with a whine.  He looked up at you quizzically.    

“Not fair,” you stated, “you’re still fully clothed.” 

“Earn it” he chuckled, and reached between your legs to lay the pads of his fingers on your clothed cunt, “shouldn’t be too hard, considering you’re so wet for me already,” which earned him the deepest blush he has ever seen gracing your cheeks.  He began slow ruminations on your clit over your underwear, your hips bucking involuntarily at the stimulation, “that’s right” he nearly growled.  What you’ve learned about Hansol over the last several years is that he is a patient man, he doesn’t need to rush, but you really wish he would right about now.  Another whine escaped your lips trying to egg him on.  

Evidently, it worked because he began to peel your ruined panties away from your dripping heat, “God babe, you’re beautiful, all ready for me” he lined himself up and gathered up his saliva and spit into your already wet cunt.  He used the mixture of wetness between your legs to ease two fingers inside of you, moaning at the sensation of being filled, your eyes screwed shut.   The pad of his thumb found your clit and he began to circle the bundle of nerves meticulously.  “Remember what you’re working for” he reminded you, picking up his pace.  You felt the coil in your stomach begin to tighten as you heard his fingers working in your pussy.  

“I’m…” you cut yourself off with a moan as Hansol curled his fingers inside you to inch you closer to your approaching high.  

“Let go” was all you needed for the coil to snap and white hot pleasure overtook your senses.  “That’s it, you did so well for me” you heard Hansol’s soothing voice as you were coming down.  Your eyes fluttered open as he was standing up from between your legs and pulling his shirt over his head.  

“Here,” you sat up and reached for his belt, “I can help” you added, unhooking the belt and pulling his pants and his boxers down.  You watched as his cock sprung free, hard and leaking already.  Pulling him closer by his hips you watched his face intently, a mix of lust and anticipation.  You took him in your hand and he let out a hiss, “You need it that badly?” At your comment he took a handful of your hair and pulled it so you were looking up at him and he gave you a warning look.  You nodded in understanding and gave his cock a few pumps before leaning down.  You took the tip into your mouth and swirled your tongue around his slit, taking in the precum that had already mixed with your saliva.  

“Let me” he thrusted experimentally.  You hollowed out your cheeks and sunk your lips further down, in a way letting him know he could use your mouth to get off. He grunted and thrusted into your mouth at a bit of a rushed pace, it was obvious that he was wound up tight.  “Good girl, letting me use her, fuck”  tears pricked at the corners of your eyes but you were determined.  Hansol’s thrusts became sloppy as the tears began to stream down your cheeks, using the hand that was still in your hair he pulled you off his dick, “you have another one in you” he stated as he lay you down on the bed.  

He hovered over you and wiped your tears with his thumb, “you okay?” he asked quietly, you nodded, not being able to form words at the moment.  “Good” he smiled down at you, you felt him tease his cock head through your folds.  You flinched from the sensitivity.  Slowly, he eased into you.  Simultaneously, you both moaned at the sensation, which made you smile at each other, like this was just another normal night in your friendship, even though that was so far from the truth.  

After letting you adjust to his size he began to thrust slowly in and out of you.  “I won’t last long, you did too well…” he choked out, your pussy clenching around him at the continued praise.  His thrusts again became erratic and you knew he was close.  Somehow, you were impossibly close as well, chasing a high that snuck up on you.  You felt every delicious drag of his cock on your walls before you felt Hansol pull out and his white ropes shot into your stomach as your high crashed into you.  

Hansol pushed his sweat drenched hair off his forehead.  The two of you stared at each other for a few fleeting moments, realizing the gravity of what just happened, before silently agreeing that you will figure all of that out later.  He climbed out of the bed and hurried to the bathroom and returned moments later with a warm towel and a glass of water.  

“Are you okay?” he asked again as he was gently wiping himself off of your stomach.  

“Yes,” you assured him, “I am surprisingly calm about what just happened” he smiled up at you before leaning down to kiss your now clean stomach.       

***

Hansol and yourself didn’t talk about that night for the next several days, but nothing went back to normal either.  He was holding your hand, he was giving you kisses, and right now he had his hand on your thigh as you left that city behind.  Hansol insisted you stay there for a few more days than you had originally planned, you had a sneaking suspicion as to why but you decided not to push it.  You weren’t one to complain, especially when you were getting pleased nearly every night.  

“Take me to see the ocean” you piped up suddenly.  

“What?” Hansol laughed looking over at you quickly before returning his eyes to the road.  

“Sounds like a good way to end this little adventure” you shrugged.  You felt Hansol freeze up for a moment before recovering.  

“Right” he muttered, “Let’s get you to the ocean,” he said, squeezing your thigh.  

***

You watched out the window as the ocean came into view on your side, you had been to the ocean once in your life, but it seemed important to see it now for some reason.  Seeing something so grand felt like a great way to begin your new life in the next few days, you were nervous, but so excited.  You watched as Hansol parked the truck in a public beach access parking lot and turned to you.  

“Ready?” he smiled

“Ready” you smiled back.  You walked hand in hand over the sand and the sea breeze catching your hair.  It was early evening by the time you had found your way here so it was cooling down as the sun was setting.  

Hansol spread one of the blankets from the truck over the sand, close enough to see the waves but not close enough that it would get soaked from a rogue wave.  You sat down and Hansol slotted himself behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

You don’t know how long you sat, in quiet contemplation, neither one of you wanting to break whatever spell settled over you two over the last week or so.  “Hansol-” you started, 

“Vernon” he tried to correct.  

“No,” you said firmly, “Hansol, what are we doing?” 

“Two more days,” he sighed, “Just…give me two more days, I swear you’ll get back in time” he rested his chin on your shoulder, waiting for your response.  

“Two more days, and I get to call you Hansol” 

“Deal” 

***

You left the beach headed for home two days later, as promised.  Hansol drove quietly away from whatever the last few weeks were between you, his hands were firmly on the wheel, he hadn’t touched you at all today.  It’s as if with your kiss goodnight the illusion was broken and you were back to reality.  You weren’t sure which was better for you, living like Hansol was your boyfriend or having him as your best friend again.  Then again, you weren’t sure why you couldn’t have both honestly.  

About an hour into your drive Hansol took the joint out from behind his ear and tried to pass it to you wordlessly.  

“Oh, I can’t” you told him, “I start my job next week and they told me I need to pass a drug test before my first day” Hansol dropped the joint, pulled over, and flung open his door, “Hansol?! What the fuck are you doing?” You followed him into the woods on the side of the road, “Hansol!” you caught his arm and pulled him so he was facing you, there were tears in his eyes.  

“God I am so stupid” he wiped his eyes furiously with the back of his hand. 

“Hansol what’s going on” your voice softened at the sight of his tears, you wanted so desperately to wipe them away, but thought better of it due to the nature of the situation. 

“Y/N” this is the first time he has used your real name, not a pet name or Kate, in several days, it almost felt foreign to your ears, “this is it! You’re gone after this, you’ll be working and busy, I’ll have lost you and everyone I care about” he threw his head back, looking at the sky, “I have no plans, no job, and no friends,” he looks back down at you, “and you can’t even smoke my weed” 

“Hansol…I-” you tried. 

“No it’s true, everyone is gone, Hell, some of the guys have moved across the country, I’ll be lucky if I ever see Seungkwan again” Hansol was crying now. “And I know this is a great opportunity for him, and for you, I’m so proud of all of you, but what about me, what am I supposed to do, Y/N?” he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, you could tell he felt stupid about crying and feeling sorry for himself.  

“Move in with me” you blurted out, without really thinking, but it felt like a logical thing to say.  You watched as he pulled his hands away from his eyes, 

“What?” 

“You heard me,” you moved closer to him and rubbed his arms with your hands, “move in with me” 

“Like…as friends or-” “No” you cut him off, “absolutely not as friends,” it was his turn to cut you off, he closed the short distance between you and pressed his lips firmly to yours.

[makeitmingi]

The Babysitter Club [From: Our Shared Melody]

Genre: Romance, Fluff, Comedy

Pairing: Hongjoong x Reader (y/n)

Characters: Wife!Reader, Daughter (Kim Hwayeon), IdolHusband!Hongjoong, IdolUncle!Ateez

Summary: When your work requires you to travel, Hongjoong insists that he is fine taking care of your daughter on his own, with the help of her chaotic uncles. You were hesitant at first, considering he has never really taken care of your daughter on his own before. But what's the worst that can happen... right?

Word count: 11.4K

[A/N: Sort of Part 2 to 'Our Shared Melody' But it can be read as a stand alone too!]

"Baby?" You spun around in slight surprise, seeing a half asleep Hongjoong shuffling out of your shared bedroom. He finds you standing in front of your open on board bag, gathering what you need last minute for your flight.

"What are you doing up? You should go back to sleep." You scolded softly. But he shook his head, shuffling all the way to you and wrapped his arms around you.

"Did you really think I wouldn't wake up to send you off? You already wouldn't let me send you to the airport." He mumbled.

"Because it's 4 am and you have work tomorrow, Joong." You chuckled, resting your cheek on his shoulder.

"You all packed and ready?" He asked, stroking your head. It took a while for you to answer. Well, you didn't really answer him, you just let out a small, barely audible hum.

"What's wrong?" Hongjoong knew you too well. He knew that something was wrong. It was written all over your face.

"I don't know if I should go... You know, maybe I should just tell my boss I can't make it." You pulled away from the hug to meet his eyes.

"Baby... It's fine, it's okay. Melody and I will be okay. It's only 2 days." He said, hand tucking a loose lock of hair behind your ear, as he spoke to you gently. Hongjoong didn't make fun of you for worrying, he understood you and comforted you, trying his best to soothe your worries and hesitation.

"But I've never been away from her before... Since birth." Your voice wavered slightly. It's not that you didn't trust Hongjoong. He was a great dad and was great with his daughter.

"I didn't expect me to have separation anxiety but it's really killing me." You whimpered.

"Oh, baby. It's okay." Hongjoong brought your head back down to his shoulder as he rubbed your back.

"She'll be the same in 2 days, I promise. I know it's not easy for you to leave." He murmured, planting little kisses along your cheek and your jaw line.

"I know but-"

"This is a great opportunity for you. Your boss is giving you this great responsibility and you'll be able to network there. We both know you've worked hard for such an opportunity." He said.

You usually work from home but your boss had asked you to take a short trip to Hong Kong to represent the company at a conference. This was the major break you needed in your job. But you've been stressing over the thought of leaving your daughter.

Hongjoong was the one that convinced you to go when you were leaning towards turning your boss down. He wanted you to look good for your boss and the company.

"You shouldn't be late. Your car is arriving soon. Go say bye to melody." He encouraged.

"Okay." You nodded, leaving Hongjoong's embrace. He stood in the living room to wait for you and give you some alone time.

Entering your daughter's room, you were careful not to disturb her rest. You leaned over the floor mattress she was sleeping on, pressing your nose to her cheek.

"I love you. I'll see you in 2 days." You whispered, inhaling her familiar, comforting scent before giving her a kiss.

"Aww, baby." Hongjoong pouted, cooing at you when you exited the room with tears in your eyes.

"It'll be okay." He patted your head. He cupped your cheeks, wiping your tears with his thumbs before giving you a kiss.

"I feel like you're teasing me now." You frowned.

"Wouldn't dare to. I'll bring melody to pick you up from the airport when you get back, hmm?" He rubbed your arm. You nodded with a grateful smile, throwing your arms around him to hug him tight. You knew you needed to leave or else you would never leave. While wearing your shoes, you saw Hongjoong wearing his slides.

"You don't have to walk me down. She could wake up and need you." You told Hongjoong but he was stubborn as ever.

"I'm taking care of my first baby. There's no way I'm letting you walk out on your own. It's so dark." He said, ignoring you and wheeling your luggages out to the lift lobby to wait for you.

"Thank you." You slipped your hand into his.

"That's my car." You checked your phone, pointing to the cab that was waiting.

"Good morning." The two of you greeted the driver. Of course, Hongjoong loaded your bags into the boot, not wanting you to do any of the lifting.

"Goodbye, baby. Have a safe flight and don't worry, okay? Call me." He hugged you tightly, giving you a long kiss.

"I will. Thanks, Hongjoong. If you need me, you know I'll come right back." You said.

"I know you will but it'll all be okay, I've got things covered. Good luck during the conference. I love you." He stroked your cheek with a smile of adoration and love. Gosh, Hongjoong really loves you so much and you love him too.

"I love you too, Joong. So much." You smiled. He opened the door to the backseat for you to enter. Once you were in, he closed the door. You blew him a kiss and waved to him as the cab drove off.

"Bye." He waved back, standing there until the cab disappeared down the driveway. After that, he went back up to your daughter.

Your daughter, Hwayeon, is now 18 months. She was everyone's princess, having everyone wrapped around her finger. And until now, Hongjoong still calls her 'melody'.

"Eugh..." When Hongjoong entered the house, he heard Hwayeon's soft whimpers and rushed over immediately.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, melody." He was by her side instantly, patting her tummy to soothe her.

"Appa is here." He laid beside her, propping his head up with his free hand, continuing to comfort her until her whimpers died down and she was lulled back to sleep.

This was a common occurance now with Hwayeon waking up in the middle of the night to look for you and Hongjoong. She was still getting used to sleeping on her own, in her own bed and in her own room. So usually, you or Hongjoong would go comfort her in her bed instead of bringing her to your bed.

"It's okay..." Soon, even the rhythm of the movement from Hongjoong patting her tummy made him fall asleep too.

-

"Hongjoong ah?" Seonghwa called out as he entered the house, looking for the captain, who has not been answering his phone since the morning.

Scratching his head, Seonghwa went to your bedroom, hoping to find the captain there but the bed was empty.

"Bah!" Having heard the soft, familiar voice of his goddaughter, Seonghwa went to her room.

"Oh. My love." Seonghwa saw the little girl sitting up on the mattress. She shakily toddled to Seonghwa and he immediately scooped her up into his arms. That was when Seonghwa found Hongjoong fast asleep in his daughter's bed.

"Yah, Kim Hongjoong. Wake up, you're late." He nudged the sleeping male with his foot. Hongjoong frowned slightly and peeked open an eye, seeing Seonghwa standing over him.

"Oh, Seonghwa... You're here..." Hongjoong yawned, stretching his arms over his head.

"I'm here because you're late. I've been trying to reach you the whole morning!" Seonghwa scolded. Now, that woke Hongjoong up,

"What?! My phone was left in my bedroom, I didn't hear my alarm or the calls come in." He shot up, running his fingers through his hair as he woke himself up.

"Don't curse with my godchild in the room." Seonghwa reminded. Hongjoong slapped a hand over his own mouth, nodding.

"Go get ready. I'll handle Hwayeon." Seonghwa said as he exited the room.

Luckily, Seonghwa knew what to do, having helped you and Hongjoong care for Hwayeon from the moment she was born. Since they've met and Seonghwa carried her for the first time, he's been such a fool for her. He claims that he didn't know the true meaning of love until Hwayeon came into his life.

And although the hanja characters of the 'Hwa' in their names are different, Seonghwa still liked to think of her as 'baby Hwa' like she was really his daughter.

"What a cute bunny." Seonghwa cooed as he dressed Hwayeon up in a fluffy bunny jacket that he bought.

"I knew you would look cute in it." He chuckled, even if she didn't understand him.

One more thing, Seonghwa loves to spoil Hwayeon, something you and Hongjoong discourage but Seonghwa says that Hwayeon was born for him to spoil. It was hard to argue with him.

"Bah!" She babbled, as if repeating after him with a bright smile.

"That's right, cutie" Seonghwa tapped her nose. With her resting on his hip, Seonghwa put together a bag for her.

"Shall we get you some snacks too?" He stood at the fridge, grabbing a yoghurt pouch for her then grabbed random snacks from the cupboard. He also filled a water bottle while Hongjoong grabbed a spare set of Hwayeon's clothes.

"Ah! Wait, a minute. Where is that-" Hongjoong disappeared into his work room, tripping over his own feet and almost falling, making Hwayeon laugh.

"Even your daughter is laughing at you." Seonghwa chuckled with a shake of his head.

"Alright, alright, we're already late. Let's go, melody." Hongjoong said, slipping his shoes on and holding Hwayeon for Seonghwa to wear his shoes. He carried her down to the carpark.

"I'll strap her in." Seonghwa said so Hongjoong could start the car. He climbed in to sit beside Hwayeon.

"So, she left last night?" Seonghwa asked. Hongjoong knew who he was referring to.

"Yeah. Almost didn't want to leave but I managed to convince her. I think she has more separation anxiety than melody. But I don't blame her... I just hope that melody wouldn't just look for her randomly..." Hongjoong sighed as he drove. Even saying your name might remind Hwayeon of you so he avoided it.

"Yeah, let's hope then. And it's a mother thing, Hwayeon was practically a part of her for 9 months." Seonghwa said, completely understanding you.

"Here you go." He handed Hwayeon a yoghurt pouch since they didn't have time to give her breakfast.

"I've got to get to my meeting when I arrive. Can you look after her first? I'll come get her when it's over." Hongjoong asked.

"Of course. Just text me later." Seonghwa replied, too focused on smiling at Hwayeon eat the yoghurt. Anything that she did, Seonghwa would find cute.

"Okay, we're here." Hongjoong parked the car.

"I love you, melody. I'll see you later, appa has to work. Be good for Hwa, alright?" He showered his daughter in kisses.

"Thanks, Hwa! Bye!" Tossing the keys to Seonghwa, Hongjoong ran into the building.

"Your appa is seriously something else." Seonghwa chuckled, shaking his head. He helped Hwayeon out of her car seat and retrieved her baby bag. Slinging it over his shoulders, he locked the car and walked into the lift lobby.

"There we go. Stay close, lovey." Once they were safely inside, Seonghwa put Hwayeon down to let her walk. Not having to worry about the cars.

"Seonghwa hyung! Did you manage to find Hongjo- And who is this adorable bunny?" Yunho grinned, bending down.

"Yu!" Hwayeon giggled and slowly waddled over to Yunho. She gripped onto the material of his sweats to steady herself.

"Hi~" Yunho cooed. When Hwayeon made grabby hands at Yunho, the taller didn't even hesitate, hoisting her up into his arms. The Ateez boys were all fools for the captain's little girl.

"Hongjoong was still asleep when I went to look for him. I think he slept with Hwayeon somewhere in the night so his phone was left in his room." Seonghwa explained.

"Oh yeah, I forgot that captain's on his own for the next few days." Yunho said, remembering the note you sent to the group chat.

"Mhmm, she left last night. So for the next two days, we'll need to help Joong out." Seonghwa nodded.

"Well, of course. We'll always be willing to take care of the little angel." Yunho laughed and tickled Hwayeon, making her giggle and squirm in Yunho's hold. Seonghwa smiled softly, seeing and hearing Hwayeon's laugh. Her happiness was just infectious. The 3 of them took the lift up to the artists' lounge

"Yunho ah, put her down. We should be encouraging her to walk more to build strength." Seonghwa said to the taller male.

"Hyung, please let me have this. Sooner or later, she's going to refuse to be carried by us. At least now, she still wants us so let me savour this moment." Yunho pouted.

Hwayeon had just learnt to walk so you wanted to try to encourage her to walk to build strength in her legs.

"You're unbelieveable." Seonghwa clicked his tongue.

Yunho continued to make funny face at Hwayeon. Even if she didn't understand what was going on, she laughed, holding onto Yunho's cheeks.

"Who else is here?" Seonghwa asked. Yunho shrugged. He balanced Hwayeon in one hand as he pushed open the door to the artists lounge and pantry.

"Is that my princess?" San, who was having his meal, stood up upon seeing Hwayeon. Yunho put Hwayeon down and he patiently waited for Hwayeon to make her way over to San. He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around San's neck.

"I've missed you." San carried her, speaking in a baby voice as he showered her in kisses. That sent her into another round of laughter. Hwayeon really was loved by all her uncles.

"You should continue eating." Yeosang said, bringing Hwayeon to his lap to sit so San could eat.

"She might still be hungry since we rushed out." Seonghwa said, opening a pack of snack puffs for Hwayeon to pick at.

"Can I have 1?" Yeosang asked. Hwayeon grasped one in her hand and placed it in Yeosang's hand. The male cooed and kissed the top of her head before eating.

"Is there anything else we can give her? She seems hungry." San asked.

"We only have snacks until Hongjoong gets her lunch." Seonghwa said. He

"Hongjoong's in a meeting so we have to watch her until he's done." Seonghwa informed, taking a cup of juice for himself from the fridge. He filled Hwayeon's sippy cup with the juice as well before handing it to her. Of course, Hwayeon had a sippy cup in the KQ pantry. She was there so often.

"Hey, everyone. Hey, bun." Mingi entered, having finished his workout session with the trainer in the gym. He went straight to get some cold water from the cooler.

"Mi." Hwayeon made a grabby hand at Mingi. Mingi chuckled, putting the water bottle down to lift Hwayeon up.

"He's sweaty." Yunho crinkled his nose.

I'm not sweaty. I changed my shirt after the workout was done." Mingi scoffed, taking another sip of water then closing the water bottle so he could carry Hwayeon properly.

"Hongjoong hyung's not around?" He asked. Seonghwa shook his head.

"Mam mam." Hwayeon pressed a fruit puff against Mingi's lips to let him eat it. He happily ate it, even if there wasn't much of a taste.

"That's my bun." Mingi chuckled. Their bond was close, Hwayeon having grown up in Hongjoong's studio with Mingi always around. Mingi wasn't a fan of children at first, not knowing how to act around them but Hwayeon was too cute to resist.

"You guys, stop carrying her so much. (y/n) said that Hwayeon is supposed to be walking more to ween her off being carried by us." Seonghwa scolded.

"Soon she won't even want us to carry her already, hyung. Let us have our moment." San said.

"That's what I said." Yunho agreed, poking Hwayeon to tickle her again. She laughed and tried to hide in the crook of Mingi's neck.

"Looks like Hongjoong's meeting is running late. I might need to head to my vocal lesson soon." Seonghwa said, checking his phone to see the text Hongjoong sent.

"Why don't you go ahead, hyung? We got it covered, we'll take her to Joong hyung later." San offered.

"Fine but no stealing her and running off elsewhere. She has to remain in KQ. If Hongjoong finds out and can't find her, he'll kill all of us. I'm serious, guys." Seonghwa threatened them. They have tried to take Hwayeon out before, which ended up in the news with reporters thinking Hwayeon was their kid, not Hongjoong's.

First, it was Seonghwa having Hwayeon's picture as his wallpaper and showing it to ATINY at the airport, gushing over how adorable she was. That made everyone think Hwayeon was his daughter.

Then, Wooyoung calls Hwayeon his 'baby' which made everyone think he had a daughter and was a single parent.

The last instance was Mingi being pictured holding Hwayeon while recording and he posted it on his social media, captioning 'my bun'.

So basically, Hongjoong got fed up and jealous that people thought Hwayeon was his member's daughter and not his so he didn't allow them to bring her out alone.

"Says the one that has been trying to kidnap her since she was born. You even tried to hide her in your jacket once as if (y/n) and Hongjoong hyung wouldn't notice." Yeosang pointed out.

"Hey, I can't help that my goddaughter is the cutest baby ever." Seonghwa shrugged, not even denying it, reaching out to pinch Hwayeon's cheeks. Hwayeon giggled shyly, placing her own hand over Seonghwa's.

"Be good for samchons, okay? Appa should come soon." Seonghwa smiled at her, running his fingers through her hair.

"Papa?" She tilted her head, not knowing what Seonghwa was saying.

"Yeah. I'll see you later, my love." Seonghwa hugged her, showering her in kisses while she clutched onto the material of his hoodie. He put her down and she climbed back onto Mingi's lap.

"Hyung, you're only going for vocal lessons. You're acting like you're not going to see her forever." San laughed.

"Shut it." Seonghwa whipped his head around to glare at San. But he waved to Hwayeon with a sweet smile and left. Hwayeon was not really sure what was going on.

But Hwayeon's bottom lip quivered, sending the remaining boys there into a panic. San picked her up, stroking her back to soothe her. Luckily, Mingi shook his wrists and successfully distracted her with the jingling sound of his bracelets. San set her back down in Mingi's lap as she fiddled with the bracelets around his wrists.

"See? You're okay, bun." Mingi comforted, patting her back as she leaned against his body like he was a chair. After that, San, Yeosang, Yunho and Mingi brought Hwayeon with them to the dance studio.

"There you go." Yunho set her down on the couch, giving her some toys that Seonghwa brought.

As the boys practiced, they all made sure to keep an eye out on Hwayeon, watching her through their practice room mirror.

"Take 5." San panted, laying on the ground and catching his breath. Hwayeon, who was bored of her toys, slipped down from the couch and stood over San, tilting her head in confusion.

"Sannie samchon going night night, bun." Yeosang chuckled while Yunho laughed.

"Wanna dance, princess?" San sat up, encouraging Hwayeon with a soft smile. Mingi played the music and Hwayeon bounced on her knees. The four uncles swooned, clapping and bobbing their heads with encouragement. Yunho had his phone to video the moment.

"Go, bun!" Mingi, the hype man, cheered Hwayeon on. Hwayeon smiled, looking at the three with excitement, jumping up and down. She held onto San's hand, being a little wobbly.

"Little dance prodigy." Yunho stroked her hair.

"Hongjoong hyung's done with his meeting. I'll bring her up to the studios since I'm meeting Eden hyung." Mingi said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Pack her stuff first." Yunho said, putting all her toys and belongings back into the baby bag.

"Aww, bye, princess." San opened his arms and Hwayeon gladly walked into them, he gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"We'll miss you, pretty princess." Yeosang smiled, hugging her too.

"Bye, princess. Yuyu will see you later." Yunho gave Hwayeon a hug too. He tapped his cheek and Hwayeon leaned in to give him a peck, making him grin.

"Let's go, bun." Mingi called. Hwayeon walked in front of Mingi as they headed up to the studio floor. They took their time, Mingi slowly walking beside Hwayeon, not wanting to rush her.

"Look who is at the studio today. Hello~" They ran into Maddox. Maddox was another familiar face to Hwayeon. But she shyly clutched onto Mingi's pant leg. Mingi continued to lead her to Hongjoong's studio. He knocked on the door.

"Ap... pa!" Hwayeon beamed, happy to see her dad come to the door.

"Hello, my melody." Hongjoong bent down to pick her up. Hwayeon immediately wrapped her arms around Hongjoong's neck. No one beats her dad.

"Thanks for looking after her and bringing her up, Mingi ah." Hongjoong said, taking Hwayeon's bag from the taller.

"No problem, hyung. We're always happy to take care of her. She had fun at the dance studio." Mingi grinned.

"Did you?" Hongjoong asked Hwayeon, tickling her.

"She might be hungry though, hyung. We didn't give her lunch but Hwa hyung gave her some snacks. Although it's not enough for a meal." Mingi informed.

"Alright, I'll order her some food before going back to work. Thanks, man. Say bye to Mingi samchon, melody." Hongjoong told Hwayeon. Hearing that another one of her uncles was leaving, she pouted and whined, shaking her head. She tried to reach out to Mingi again but Hongjoong held her away.

"Aww, bun. I'll be back to see you later, alright? I promise." Mingi pouted at her sad face, feeling guilty for leaving her.

"Mi." Hwayeon began to cry. Mingi grew conflicted but Hongjoong nodded at him to just leave.

"I'm sorry. Bye, bun." Mingi tapped her cheek before leaving to his meeting with Eden. Hongjoong closed his studio door with his foot as Hwayeon whined.

"Aww, melody. You just wanted to play with Mingi samchon?" Hongjoong cooed, wiping her tears.

"It's okay, melody. We'll see him later at dinner." He comforted her as he set Hwayeon's bag down in the corner.

"Appa is here, sweet girl." He whispered, kissing her temple. Sitting back down in his chair, He che let Hwayeon's body lean on his as he opened the delivery app.

"Let's get you some food and then a nap. You're probably tired, melody." Hongjoong brushed her hair back.

The food came and Hongjoong tried his best to feed Hwayeon so she wouldn't make a mess in his studio. It was rather successful actually, Hwayeon was too hungry to try and steal the spoon form Hongjoong. But he knew you would kill him if you knew.

You were trying to help Hwayeon develop more independent skills, as recommended by the paediatrician. But Hongjoong liked his little girl depending on him and didn't want her to grow up.

"You eat so well~" Hongjoong praised, wiping her mouth as she ate the last bite.

When she chewed, Hongjoong took the opportunity to take a bite of his food too. He wasn't that hungry since he was focused on her.

"All done!" Hongjoong cheered, making Hwayeon laugh. While watching her, Hongjoong began to clear up the area, throwing the trash into the plastic bag.

"Let's go." He lifted her up to bring her with him to put the trash outside.

"Alright. You can do some doodling." Hongjoong set up Hwayeon's drawing pad and crayons for her to doodle.

He let her draw and play with her toys until he noticed her showing signs of sleepiness. She rubbed her eyes with her hands and yawned as she doodled. Plus, this was the time she usually had her first nap of the day. But like every other child, Hwayeon wasn't a fan of being told it was nap time.

"Melody~" Hongjoong called out softly. Hwayeon lifted her head to look at her father. Hongjoong wheeled his chair over to her and patted his lap.

"Come to appa." He offered, lifting up the stuffed puppy that she has slept with since she was a baby.

"Mmm." She nodded, opening her arms so Hongjoong could lift her up onto his lap. She grasped the puppy, hugging it to her chest.

Another trait Hwayeon, fortunately, inherited from her father is his ability to sleep anywhere. So in a few minutes, Hwayeon was passed out in Hongjoong's hold, her body leaning against his.

"I love you." He kissed the top of her head softly. Hongjoong kept her there for a while, wanting to hold her close, before laying her on the couch.

'HOW'S MY BABY?! - (y/n)'

'Hello to you too, wifey. I'm doing great, thanks for asking. - Joongie'

'Good to know. How's my baby? Is she okay? - (y/n)'

'Yes, baby. Melody is fine, I just put her down for her nap after she had lunch. She's been great, soaking up the love and attention as the princess of KQ. Honestly, I think her samchons are having a greater time than she is. - Joongie'

'That's great to hear. I knew you could do it, Joong. And I was kidding, I miss you too. A lot. - (y/n)'

'I know. I miss you too, baby. But we'll see you in a couple days. I'm gonna work until melody wakes up. All the best for your conference. - Joongie'

"Hu..." Hwayeon fussed, whimpering in her sleep. Hongjoong put his headphones down and rushed to Hwayeon.

"Shh, it's okay, melody." He rubbed her back but she still continued to squirm around.

"Come here, melody." Hongjoong moved her to his lap again, adjusting his chair so he was in a leaned back position. He rubbed her back until she was soothed and back to sleep.

With the sleeping child on him, Hongjoong tried to wheel himself as close to the table so he could reach around Hwayeon to his keyboard.

'Let yourself in later. Melody is sleeping on me. - Hongjoong'

'Need me to take over? - Seonghwa'

'I'm good for now, I'm just working on my own stuff. But when Maddox comes for guide recordings, I'll need you to take her for her second nap if that's okay? I'm worried about the noise - Hongjoong'

Seeing Seonghwa react with a thumbs up emoji, Hongjoong put his phone down and went back to work. He was really grateful Seonghwa could help him, the latter was better with children than Hongjoong was. Seonghwa was proactive but knew Hongjoong too, he knew when to help and when to take a step back.

"Ap...pa..." Luckily Hongjoong only wore his headphones over one ear so he could hear Hwayeon slowly wake up from her nap.

"Good morning, melody. Aww, it's okay." He cooed and picked her up, rubbing her back to soothe her. Hongjoong felt Hwayeon bury her face into his shoulder while his hand cradled her.

"Mama..." Hwayeon whimpered.

"It's alright, melody. It's appa, it's okay." He comforted. Hwayeon frowned a little, recognising her dad.

"See, it's appa?" She wrapped her arms around his neck. He hummed and walked around his studio until she was calm. She yawned, resting her chin on Hongjoong's shoulder.

"Let's go wash up a little, hmm?" Leaving his things, Hongjoong grabbed the baby bag and went to the bathroom.

"Did you sleep well, my melody?" He cooed as he wet one of her baby towels to wipe her face. She grinned at Hongjoong in reply. Hongjoong smiled, kissing the top of her head. Then he changed her diaper and gave her fresh clothes.

"Since Hwayeon didn't want to be let down yet, Hongjoong held her in his arms.

"Is that my baby?!" A loud yell was heard in the hallway, making Hongjoong turn around and Hwayeon lift her head.

"Ah! My baby!" Wooyoung grinned excitedly.

"Wooyoung, she just-" Before Hongjoong could say anything, Wooyoung took Hwayeon into his arms. Wooyoung was another one that children just naturally liked.

"Ooh, you missed Wooyo samchon? I missed you too, my baby." He snuggled her and kissed her cheek.

"She just woke up so she may be fussy." Hongjoong sighed, patting Hwayeon's back as she latched onto Wooyoung.

"Nonsense. My baby is never fussy." Wooyoung scoffed. He followed Hongjoong back into his studio, sitting down on the couch with Hwayeon in his lap. Even if he acted playful, Wooyoung was also very attentive and careful when it came to caring for Hwayeon, as well as her growth and development.

"Mmmmm." Hwayeon whined, tired of Wooyoung's hold on her. Hongjoong smirked proudly and moved Hwayeon onto his lap, rubbing her back to soothe her.

"There, there, melody." He kissed the top of her head. But Hwayeon was restless.

"What's wrong, melody? Hmm?" Hongjoong asked her.

"Baby, shall we go find the other samchons?" Wooyoung sat forward, offering to help Hongjoong with the fussy child. Hwayeon peeked an eye open to look at Wooyoung, seemingly interested.

"Hwa's coming to get her soon before my meeting with Maddox." Hongjoong informed.

"I heard the baby bear was here?" Jongho poked his head in.

"Look who it is, melody. Jongho samchon." Hongjoong patted Hwayeon's back to try and get her excited but Hwayeon was just not in a social mood. She buried her face into her father's chest, as if wanting to hide from everyone.

"It's okay. Did she just wake up?" Jongho asked, stroking Hwayeon's back to comfort her. Hongjoong nodded in confirmation, still trying to settle Hwayeon.

"Alright, alright." Hongjoong stood up, walking around the place. Wooyoung took a video.

"I'm sending this to (y/n)." Wooyoung giggled.

"Send it to our group chat." Jongho leaned in. Hongjoong leaned in to see Wooyoung's phone, realising that there was a group chat with a title he has never heard of.

"Wait, are you guys in a group chat with my wife, without me?" Hongjoong's eyes widened as he paced with Hwayeon.

"Yeah, there are multiple." Wooyoung admitted with a shrug. Jongho punched his shoulder.

"Multiple?!" Hongjoong tried not to yell. He didn't want to scare Hwayeon.

"They're just group chats, captain. There's one with me, Seonghwa hyung and (y/n). Then there's one with all of us and her, without you. That's the most active one." Wooyoung tried to remember off the top of his head. He enjoyed seeing Hongjoong annoyed while Jongho sighed with a shake of his head.

"You're gonna hate this even more. There's one with her, San and Yunho called '(y/n)'s favourites'. The rest of us have been trying to get into that chat forever." Wooyoung smirked.

"That... is true. It is highly coveted to get in. Yeosang hyung was a temporary member before." Jongho conceeded and nodded glumly.

"If Hwayeon wasn't here now..." Hongjoong threatened.

"Yeah, (y/n) said no cursing around baby, hyung." Wooyoung teased. Jongho laughed. Hwayeon was soon soothed, leaning on her father's shoulder but clutching his shirt.

"Is this... normal for her?" Jongho asked with worry, gesturing to Hwayeon's behaviour.

"Separation anxiety starts around 18 months so that's about now. Plus she just woke up not too long ago. It's normal." Hongjoong said.

"Ah, well I've got to go for dance. I'll see you at dinner, baby." Wooyoung kissed Hwayeon's hand. Despite clinging to her father, Hwayeon still managed to shoot Wooyoung a tiny wave, making the male coo and wave back at her.

"Alright, I'm here. Hi, my love." Seonghwa entered the studio. He stopped when he saw her clutching tightly onto Hongjoong's shirt as the captain paced along his studio.

"Separation anxiety." Jongho explained. Seonghwa nodded, you have told him about this before.

"She was like this when Mingi dropped her off too. I think it's hard on her with all the goodbyes." Hongjoong said.

"Aww, my sweet love" Seonghwa pouted and kissed Hwayeon's head. She lifted her head and looked at Seonghwa, who smiled softly at her. She babbled at him, as if greeting him.

"Hi~" He smiled.

"Stay with Hwa for a bit, okay melody? I'll come pick you later." Hongjoong said, starting to peel Hwayeon off him.

"Euh..." Hwayeon began to whine, clutching onto Hongjoong tightly when Seonghwa tried to take Hwayeon. Hongjoong had to gently remove Hwayeon's grip on him, making her burst into tears. Seonghwa held onto her in case she fell from his hold but it broke Hongjoong's heart to see her reach out for him.

"I can't. I'm sorry, melody." Hongjoong took Hwayeon back into his arms but she was inconsolable.

"Sorry, Jong. Why don't you go ahead with Maddox? Tell him I'll reschedule and catch up with him later." Hongjoong frowned slightly, starting to feel stressed.

"Sure, hyung. Don't worry about it." Jongho sent a small smile and left the studio.

"Shh, shh, melody. It's okay, it's okay. My sweet melody." Hongjoong held Hwayeon as she continued to wail.

"I know, I know, I'm sorry." Hongjoong continued to bounce Hwayeon in his arms to soothe her. It made his chest ache at how Hwayeon cried and how he didn't know what to do.

Seonghwa watched Hwayeon cry, feeling his heart break as well. He wanted to help Hongjoong but he didn't want to overstep and make Hongjoong more stress or even risk making Hwayeon more stressed. But also, he didn't really know what to do.

"Appa is here, melody. Papa Hwa is here too, it's okay." Hongjoong said. Seonghwa took that as his cue.

"Oh, my love, see? It's papa Hwa." Seonghwa said, stroking Hwayeon's hair back as it stuck to her forehead from the sweat. He wiped the tears from her face.

"My sweet melody." Hongjoong kissed her temple, feeling her calm down. Her cries reduced to soft sniffles and heavy breathing.

"Here, my love." Seonghwa held the waterbottle out to Hwayeon and she sipped from the straw.

"Good girl." He smiled softly. Even with Hwayeon calmed down, Seonghwa didn't attempt to move Hwayeon to his hold, both her and Hongjoong needed to calm each other down.

"Papa." Hwayeon grasped Seonghwa's hand.

"Take 5." Seonghwa squeezed Hongjoong's shoulder as Hwayeon moved into his hold. As Seonghwa moved out of the studio to let some fresh air in, he walked up and down the hallway with Hwayeon in his arms. From the corner of his eye, he watched Hongjoong bury his head in his hands.

"Love, look at papa." Seonghwa said and Hwayeon lifted her head to look at him. He pressed his hand to Hwayeon's forehead, letting out a sigh of relief. At least she didn't cry herself sick.

"Come on." He brought her to the bathroom to wipe her face and to cool her face down.

"Oh, that's cold! So cold~" Seonghwa playfully pressed the cold towel to her cheeks, making her cackle and squirm.

"Let's go find your appa." He put her down and she walked in front of Seonghwa, somehow knowing the way to her father's studio.

Seonghwa saw the red rimming Hongjoong's eyes, evidence that the captain shed some tears of his own. It would have been stressful for anyone, having your kid wail and cry for nearly 30 minutes.

"Good?" Seonghwa asked.

"Yeah, thanks." Hongjoong took a deep breath. He would always put a smile on for Hwayeon. She toddled forward, holding her father's calves, as he stayed seated on the couch, and burying her face against his knees.

"You were overwhelmed, hmm? It's okay. Me too." Hongjoong smiled softly, carrying Hwayeon onto his lap. Seonghwa went to fix a snack plate for both father and daughter.

"There we go." Seonghwa placed the fork into Hwayeon's hand to train her to feed herself using utensils.

"No, my love. Like this... I swear you're gonna hold your fork like your father." Seonghwa sighed.

"Hey!" Hongjoong exclaimed, offended.

"Your studio is soundproof but I swear I could hear bun crying from next door." Mingi poked his head in. He bent down in front of Hwayeon, giving her a little wave.

"She had a little moment just now. But it's all good." Hongjoong spoke softly. Mingi nodded with a small hum.

"Hey, bun. Told you I'll be back." He tapped her cheek, making her squirm shyly. Hongjoong guided Hwayeon's hand to stab a piece of banana and she clumsily brought it to her mouth. When she successfully put it in her mouth, all 3 adults present cheered and clapped for her.

"My bun is a genius." Mingi praised. Hwayeon smiled, happily soaking in all the attention and praised.

"Papa." Hwayeon grasped one of her vegetable crackers, holding it out to Seonghwa like she did with Mingi earlier. Seonghwa gladly ate the cracker, stroking her head.

"Thank you, love. You're so kind." He grinned.

"What about me, bun?" Mingi pointed to himself. Hwayeon grinned and grabbed one, putting it against Mingi's lips.

"Yah! Stop stealing my daughter's snacks." Hongjoong scolded, using his fingers to push Mingi's forehead until he fell down from his squatting position.

"Hyung, no violence around bun." Mingi wagged his finger.

"Bun!" Hwayeon exclaimed, raising her fork in the air. Seonghwa, Hongjoong and Mingi stared at each other with wide eyes. Even though Hwayeon had said her first words and could say simple words, that was the first time she said 'bun'.

"That's right... You're my bun..." Mingi smiled softly as he felt tears start to form in his eyes. Seonghwa held Hwayeon's plate and Hongjoong put her down on the ground.

"Go give Mingi samchon a hug." Seonghwa whispered. Hwayeon giggled and toddled forward, falling into Mingi's arms.

"Bun!" Hwayeon giggled as Mingi wrapped his long arms around Hwayeon.

"The power melody holds over all of you." Hongjoong shook his head with a laugh and went to sit in his chair.

"Don't say it like you aren't one of us." Seonghwa rolled his eyes. With Hwayeon in a much better mood, Seonghwa and Mingi were able to lead her away for Hongjoong to get some work done.

"Look who is okay and happy." Wooyoung came over, cooing.

"You guys have a little bit of time to play before her second nap." Seonghwa said.

They went back to the artists' lounge to play with Hwayeon. And of course, Yunho made sure that there is a box of Hwayeon's toys kept there. They did simple puzzles and played with blocks. Only when Wooyoung noticed that Hwayeon was showing signs of being tired, he read a story to her.

"Let me set up a place for her to sleep." Seonghwa said and Mingi helped him. Hwayeon comfortably settled in Wooyoung's lap as he read to her.

"We should put her on the couch. It's the softest, even if we put floor mats down." Mingi told Seonghwa.

"Uh, I think that won't be necessary anymore." Wooyoung said softly.

"She's asleep?" Seonghwa asked. Wooyoung leaned down slightly to check and saw Hwayeon fast asleep, clutching onto her stuffed puppy. He hadn't even made it to the middle of the book.

"Just leave her like this, hyung." Wooyoung told Seonghwa. Mingi draped a blanket over her.

"Hey, guys-"

"SHHHH!" Seonghwa, Mingi and Wooyoung scolded San, who was taken aback at the sudden reaction. That was when Wooyoung pointed to the sleeping Hwayeon in his hold.

"Oh, sorry." San apologised. One by one, the other Ateez boys came to join, except Hongjoong, sitting together in the dark and eventually falling asleep. Even though he was asleep, whenever Wooyoung felt Hwayeon stir, he would pat her back to soothe her back to sleep.

So imagine Hongjoong's surprise when he came to look for everyone and found his members fast asleep, but in places around his daughter, as if protecting her.

'Look at them.'

Hongjoong took a picture and sent it to you. Just as he sent it to you, Hwayeon whined and woke up.

"Hi, melody. Did you have a good nap?" Hongjoong went to take her from Wooyoung's hold, hugging her to let her wake up.

"Yah, everyone. Wake up." Hongjoong said to the rest, turning on the lights as he went to the bathroom to change Hwayeon's diaper. He could hear the 7 groan at the bright light.

"Your silly samchons." Hongjoong chuckled. Hwayeon didn't understand but smiled, seeing her father laugh.

"Kim Hwayeon, why are you so cute? Hmm? Why are you so cute?" He cooed in a baby voice and tickled her, making her squeal with laughter. After putting her down, he washed his hands and walked with her back to the lounge. Jongho lifted Hwayeon up, raising her in the air, sending her into another round of laughter.

"Baby bear~" Jongho spun around and held her on his hip.

"You guys were supposed to be watching her. Not sleeping." Hongjoong scoffed, rolling his eyes. He showed them all the photo he took to send you.

"Aww, that's a cute photo though." Yunho giggled. Hongjoong checked his watch.

"It's a little early for dinner..." He thought out loud.

"It's okay, Hongjoong ah. I'm sure we can all eat now. Besides, little one should eat early and sleep early." Seonghwa said. The other boys nodded in agreement.

"What are we eating?" Yeosang asked.

"We should eat baeksuk. Hwayeon will like it and it's better for her." Wooyoung suggested, still mostly paying attention to San playing 'airplane' with Hwayeon.

"Okay, let's go everyone." Hongjoong clapped his hands. However, no one moved, too busy playing with Hwayeon to listen to the captain. Hongjoong let out a tired sigh of despair, marching forward and taking Hwayeon away.

"I'm confiscating melody! Since no one is listening to me." He glared at the boys who jeered back at him.

"Aww, party pooper." Jongho gave a thumbs down. Hongjoong rolled his eyes and ushered everyone downstairs. He put Hwayeon in her car seat.

"I can take one person in the back seat with melody and one person in the passenger seat. The rest, take the van." Hongjoong said.

"Ack! Hyung, no shoving!" Wooyoung yelled as Seonghwa shoved him and ran forward.

"Mingi?" Seonghwa blinked, surprised to see Mingi already in the backseat, playing with Hwayeon when he opened the door. Hwayeon was busy babbling at Mingi.

"You snooze you lose. I was already here the moment Hongjoong hyung put bun in her car seat." Mingi shrugged. Seonghwa sulked and sat in the passenger seat. He obviously wants to sit with his god daughter and 'being in the same car' is not enough fro him. The two watched the other members climb into the van.

"Okay, let's go. Ready, melody?" Hongjoong asked as he sat in the driver's seat and buckled his seatbelt.

"Ouh!" She cheered, raising her fists up, and Mingi copied her in cheering. She gave him a toothy grin, making Mingi melt.

"Why are you so cute, bun? Hmm? Why?" He lifted her stuffed puppy, playfully waving it around. Hwayeon let out a loud laugh and wrapped both arms around her puppy.

"She really loves that thing, wouldn't let (y/n) take it away to be washed..." Hongjoong chuckled.

"It's definitely seen better days." Seonghwa laughed.

"Pup-py. (멍멍이)" Mingi tapped the puppy's head. Hwayeon stopped hugging it, holding it an arm's length away to look at it. Mingi repeated the word again.

"Meo... meo-i." She tried her best to pronounce the word. It wasn't the most accurate but it was good enough for Mingi and the other two in the car. Seonghwa and Mingi clapped for Hwayeon and she clapped too.

"What a smart bun." Mingi cooed.

"You're never going to stop calling her bun, aren't you?" Hongjoong scoffed, shaking his head.

"Until the day I die~" Mingi replied, still playing with Hwayeon, letting her play with his rings. Hongjoong and you didn't only conceive your daughter but you conceived Ateez's daughter.

"Please don't talk about dying in front of her..." Seonghwa sighed.

"Why? Death is normal and inevitable." Mingi blinked in confusion, resulting in Seonghwa facepalming.

"Okay, we're here." Hongjoong pulled into the parking space. But as he was going to come out, Yeosang closed his door, trapping him in the car.

"Come on, baby." Wooyoung stole Hwayeon out of her carseat and brought her to the restaurant. They could hear Hongjoong yelling.

"Let him out, Yeo!" Wooyoung said once they were practically in the shop. Yeosang moved away and Hongjoong came out, yelling at the boys in disbelief. Hwayeon just blinked, tilting her head as she stared at Hongjoong lecturing and scolding the boys for trapping him in the car, stealing her and leaving him behind.

Hwayeon's bottom lip trembled before she burst out crying, burying her face in Wooyoung's chest, shocking all the boys and making Hongjoong stop his scolding.

"No, no, my love. He's not scolding you. It's okay. Come to papa." Seonghwa took Hwayeon into his arms to comfort her.

"Yah, look what you did, hyung!" Yunho frowned. Hongjoong gulped as he faced Hwayeon's angry uncles.

"If you guys didn't play around-"

"You scared bun!" Mingi pouted, seeing Seonghwa bringing Hwayeon outside to comfort her. Also, so her crying doesn't disrupt the other diners in the place.

"Ah, just go get the table." Hongjoong sighed, pinching his nose bridge as he went outside.

"I'm sorry, melody. I wasn't scolding you... Appa was too scary, right? I'm sorry." Hongjoong gently placed a hand on Hwayeon's back. Hongjoong gestured to Seonghwa to move Hwayeon to him. The taller male nodded and lifted Hwayeon off his shoulder.

"There we go. I'm so sorry, melody. I wasn't scolding you. You're a good girl, my sweet melody." Hongjoong put his hand on her head, guiding her to rest her head on his shoulder.

"I'll go in first." Seonghwa said softly. Hongjoong hummed.

"Appa..." She grabbed the material of Hongjoong's shirt in her fist. Hongjong hushed her, swaying from side to side.

"I'm right here, melody." Hongjoong whispered, turning his head to kiss her temple.

After Hwayeon calmed down and Hongjoong was sure she was okay, he brought her into the restaurant. He ignored the guilt that made his chest tighten.

"Baby bear." Jongho smiled as Hongjoong sat down with Hwayeon in his lap. Now, she just wanted to be as close to her father as possible.

"We've ordered for everyone already, hyung. So don't worry about it." Yunho said. Hongjoong nodded, still rubbing Hwayeon's back. San poured him a cup of cold tea. Everyone could see the mental and emotional exhaustion on Hongjoong's face so they all wanted to help him with even the small things.

"Here is the food." The servers brought the bowls of hot chicken soup and rice. Seonghwa portioned out some soup and added half a bowl of rice, tearing some chicken into it.

"I'll put it here to let it cool." He said.

"Thanks, Seonghwa ah. Look melody, yummy food." Hongjoong pointed and Hwayeon sat up.

"Mam mam?" She looked up at her dad, who nodded with a smile, smoothing her hair back. After touching the spoon to his lip to check the temperature, he fed Hwayeon.

"Aigo, my love eats so well." Seonghwa cooed. Wanting more praise from her uncles, Hwayeon took another mouthful.

"You like this, melody?" Hongjoong asked and Hwayeon nodded her head. He smiled and wiped her mouth.

"One spoon for melody. And one spoon for appa." He chuckled, watching how Hwayeon looked up at Hongjoong as he took his bite of food. She giggled, watching her father eat. Hongjoong was unaware of San videoing the moment.

"I'm going to send this to (y/n)." San whispered to Yunho.

"Mmm, send it in our group chat." Yunho leaned over to reply. Hongjoong watched Hwayeon eat her portion and even asked for more, he was happy to see her eat.

"You really love this, hmm? You're eating so well, melody." Hongjoong said, giving her the final spoonful.

After dinner, everyone returned back to the dorms since Hwayeon sleeps early. Seonghwa followed Hongjoong to help him.

"I'll run the water." Seonghwa said and ran to the bathroom to get Hwayeon's bath started. Hongjoong removed Hwayeon's shoes and undressed her.

"Bath time~" Hongjoong sang. Thankfully, Hwayeon was fine with baths since there were toys.

With Hwayeon in a good mood after her bath, Seonghwa took over in dressing her and getting her ready for bed while Hongjoong went to take a shower. Because there was no way he would be able to without someone watching Hwayeon, he would be too paranoid that something happens to her.

"Thanks for all your help today, Seonghwa. And all the boys too, wouldn't have been able to do it myself." Hongjoong said as he emerged, towel drying his hair.

"No need to thank us. We're always more than happy to be around Hwayeon. Besides, we wouldn't have left you all by yourself."

"It's not easy, I wonder how (y/n) does it on her own." Hongjoong fell onto the couch.

"Mothers are heroes, that's how. And (y/n)'s pretty amazing, she's a great mother." Seonghwa said, playing with Hwayeon who was perched in his lap.

"She is..." Hongjoong smiled softly.

"I think I'll work for home tomorrow or even take the day off to stay in. Spend some time with melody." He told his best friend.

"That's a good idea. Maybe we'll drop by for a meal. Or if you just need something, let any of us know." Seonghwa said and moved Hwayeon to stand up so he could stand up to leave. He leaned down to give Hwayeon a kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight, my love." He smiled and waved to her.

"Thanks again, Seonghwa ah." Hongjoong waved and Seonghwa nodded before leaving to head to his dorm upstairs.

"Alright, time for bed, melody." Hongjoong brought Hwayeon to the room to start to put her to bed. He laid beside her in her bed until she fell asleep.

"You must have been tired, hmm?" He whispered, seeing as to how Hwayeon she fell asleep so fast.

"I love you." He kissed her forehead and left the room. Entering your shared bedroom, the first thing he did was text then call you.

"Hi, Joong." You came into view, leaning against the head board of your hotel bed. Just seeing your face and hearing your voice call his name, Hongjoong felt tears well up in his eyes. He covered his eyes with his hand as he let out a shaky breath. Your eyebrows furrowed as you registered the fact that he was crying.

"Joong? Are you okay? What's wrong? What happened?" Worry was evident in your voice as you sat up in your bed. Hongjoong reached for a tissue to wipe his tears.

"Nothing happened... I just... Gosh, I miss you so much, baby. And I'm sorry for all the time I've taken you for granted." He rambled.

"Taking me for granted? Where is all this coming from, Joong? I've never once felt that you've taken me for granted."

"It's not easy taking care of melody on my own. I don't know how you do it but I now know it's not easy. I feel so guilty, I did so many things wrong today." He shook his head.

"Ah, so that's where this is coming from. Tell me what happened." You spoke patiently and gently.

"I don't even know where to begin..." Hongjoong sighed but began to tell you all the events of today. You listened and didn't interrupt.

Hongjoong was a soft hearted, sensitive soul. He seems fierced and strict as a rapper and the captain of Ateez. But you knew him as Kim Hongjoong, the one who feels guilty easily and always wants to do his best for others.

"Joong, listen to me. I wasn't perfect from the start and probably never will be but that's okay. I'm still learning about this whole parenting thing too." You smiled softly.

"It's okay to make mistakes. I make mistakes too. And trust me, Hwayeon doesn't hate you. She still loves you deeply." You giggled.

"It broke my heart to see her cry so much. And twice in one day." Hongjoong pouted.

"It happens, we're her parents but we're humans too. And she had her wonderful appa there, her godfather and 6 goofy uncles. I'm sure she was fine after that." You said. Hongjoong nodded.

"I miss you, baby. So much." Hongjoong said.

"I miss you too, Joong. The bed feels cold and foreign without you here. And it's almost too quiet without Hwayeon." You shrugged.

"Just one more day and one more sleep, baby. We can do this, hmm?" He gave you a lopsided smile. You nodded, wanting nothing more than to hug Hongjoong. You knew he felt the same, he wanted to shower you in kisses. It was never this hard, being away from each other before Hwayeon was born.

"You're going to suffer when you go on tour." You commented with a chuckle. Hongjoong groaned softly, still hyperaware and listening out for the cries of Hwayeon.

"I'm just going to have to fly you both to every destination with us. Problem solved." He smiled victoriously.

"Well, I have to work but Hwayeon will be more than happy to go see her dad and uncles." You laughed and Hongjoong agreed.

"Won't you be excited to see us too?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Joong, our dating and married life has always consisted, and will probably continue to consist, of me being backstage with you and watching you on stage. If I wasn't excited about it, I wouldn't have went to every performance and concert you have." You pointed out with a chuckle.

"That's why I love you." He grinned.

"I love you too." You said. Reluctantly, you and Hongjoong had to end the call because Hwayeon started fussing and Hongjoong needed to attend to her.

"Shh, shh, melody." He whispered as he lulled her back to sleep. Although you wanted to see Hwayeon, you were worried that your voice and/or your face would remind her of you and make her cry.

"You miss her? I miss her too." Hongjoong spoke to his sleeping child, smiling endearingly at her.

"Thank you for being patient with me." He added as he laid down beside her.

Hongjoong was glad you both decided against an actual bed for Hwayeon. You had those soft mattress pads with two futons put over so you and Hongjoong could sleep with her comfortably.

"Sweet melody." Like the night before, Hongjoong patted Hwayeon's back to keep her asleep, until he too fell asleep, exhausted from the day before. Hwayeon ended up scooting close to her father, pressing herself against his chest.

It was a good decision to stay in because Hwayeon was extra clingy to Hongjoong from the moment they woke up.

"Are you hungry?" Hongjoong asked. He felt Hwayeon nod her head but still hold onto his shirt. Even when he was working, she wanted to sit on his lap.

"Alright, you can walk beside me." He placed her down. Hwayeon held her father's hand.

"Want this?" Hongjoong held the bag of granola bites.

"Eung!" She nodded. He gave her that with some fruits and yoghurt. The father and daughter love yoghurt. Adjusting her on his lap, Hongjoong put the spoon in Hwayeon's hand.

"Eat up, melody." He smiled, watching her try to feed herself. Hongjoong leaned back slightly to text Seonghwa. He updated him on how Hwayeon was and that all the boys shouldn't come over since it may overwhelm her like yesterday. The only person that Hwayeon might be okay would be Seonghwa.

"Papa Hwa's coming over, okay melody?" Hongjoong tucked his daughter's hair behind her ears. Hwayeon actually nodded.

"Papa!" She raised her spoon with a smile. Hongjoong couldn't help but laugh, finding his daughter absolutely adorable. He would gladly be the number 1 fool for her.

"Why are you so cute, Kim Hwayeon?" He playfully pretended to bite her, making her squeal in laughter.

"Appa, noooooo!" She giggled, holding Hongjoong's cheeks.

DING DONG

"Papa?" Hwayeon tilted her head. Holding her in his arms, Hongjoong went to open the door to let Seonghwa in. Thankfully, Hwayeon willing went into Seonghwa's arms.

"Good morning, my love." Seonghwa smiled as he showered her in kisses.

"Hold her. I've needed to use the bathroom for the longest time!" Hongjoong ran to the bathroom. Seonghwa laughed, shaking his head. Holding Hwayeon at his hip, Seonghwa cleared up her empty yoghurt bowl and wiped the table.

"Mmm, yeah." Seonghwa nodded along to whatever Hwayeon was babbling about, which was a mix of short words she knew and made up gibberish.

"She's always so talkative with you, ever since birth." Hongjoong said as he came back.

"Especially when she was 3 months old." Seonghwa chuckled. He sat down at the dining table with Hwayeon in his lap.

"I made Hwayeon some soup and food so we can just order for ourselves." Seonghwa said, nodding over to the food containers he brought down with him.

"Okay. You're so lucky, melody." Hongjoong tapped Hwayeon's nose. They sent the order in for their lunch.

"Since I only have you here for lunch, distract her while I finish up chores." Hongjoong said. He wanted to do the laundry and clear up the house as much as he could so you wouldn't have to do it when you come back, he knew you would be tired from travelling and having to unpack.

"Uh, do you want me to help with the cleaning instead?" Seonghwa raised an eyebrow. Having lived with Hongjoong and sharing a room with him, he knew Hongjoong's cleaning skills...

"I can do it. Believe it or not, I'm good at cleaning now." Hongjoong rolled his eyes. And just as he put a load of laundry in, the food came.

"Lunch time!" Seonghwa lifted Hwayeon up from where she was sitting with her toys.

"Hands." He instructed and helped her wash her hands.

"Be careful, my love." Seonghwa supported her butt as Hwayeon tried to climb into her high chair herself. But she still couldn't really get her leg over the table top so Seonghwa helped her.

"Appa~" Hwayeon whined when she realised she was alone, Seonghwa having left momentarily to get cutlery.

"I'm right here, melody." Hongjoong came to the table, tapping her cheek. He unwrapped all the food, laying it out on the table. Seonghwa put Hwayeon's bib on and placed the plate of what he cooked fro her.

"Alright, melody. Here you go." Hongjoong placed the spoon in her hand. She was content, with her dad on her left and her godfather on her right.

"Mmm, is it yummy, my love?" Seonghwa smiled, watching Hwayeon feed herself.

"Yum!" She cheered.

"Good girl, eat your vegetables, unlike someone..." Seonghwa cleared his throat, raising his eyebrows at Hwayeon's father, who was picking the vegetables out of his rice.

"What?" Hongjoong blinked. Seonghwa shook his head with a soft sigh, turning his attention back to Hwayeon.

"Let me help you, melody." Scraping the last few bites on her plate, Hongjoong fed them to Hwayeon.

"Want more?" Seonghwa asked. Surprisingly, Hwayeon nodded her head. Seonghwa stood up to get her more rice, putting the remaining soup into the bowl. He shredded the last piece of chicken that he cooked for her and mixed it into the rice and soup. Hwayeon kicked her feet happily when she saw more food.

"Your appetite is so much better today, my love." Seonghwa stroked her head.

"I think she's just happy to sit and eat with us now." Hongjoong smiled dreamily at his daughter. Watching Hwayeon eat always made him feel so full.

"To think, it feels like just yesterday I found out our baby was going to be a girl." Hongjoong said fondly.

"Don't start crying." Seonghwa chuckled.

"I already want the cry at the thought of her and boys one day. If I could, she'll never get to be around any boys. You don't need any boys, don't you, melody?" Hongjoong cooed.

"Eung!" Hwayeon nodded, even if she didn't understand what her dad was saying to her. Hongjoong laughed, nodding in approval.

"None of us accept any boys that's less than perfection for our princess." Seonghwa scoffed. He didn't like the idea of his 'one, true love' potentially having a boyfriend and even getting married one day. That'll be his death day.

"See? You're thinking about it." Hongjoong burst out laughing, seeing the deep frown on Seonghwa's face and the defensiveness that was evident in his posture.

"I'll take her and run away before she can start dating." Seonghwa said.

"You're worse than me." Hongjoong scoffed. Hwayeon looked between her father and godfather, waving her spoon happily.

After lunch, Hongjoong cleared up the area and did the dishes while Seonghwa played with Hwayeon. They did some reading, knowing that Hwayeon would have her first nap soon.

"Hwa, you can go if you need to. I'll take over." Hongjoong said from the kitchen.

"I'll wait for her to fall asleep then leave." Seonghwa replied, looking down to see Hwayeon yawning and rubbing her eyes.

When Hwayeon was showing signs of sleepiness, Hongjoong came to cradle her to sleep. She still sleeps best with her father so she fell asleep in his arms quickly. Hongjoong carefully moved to her room to place her down in her bed and Seonghwa gave her a kiss on the head before he left.

However, Hwayeon didn't stay asleep for long, starting to fuss and whine. So, Hongjoong stopped doing his chores and stayed with her, laying beside her.

"Shh, shh..." He rubbed her back to soothe her, knowing she was still tired and needed to nap more.

"Mama..." She whimpered in her sleep. It dawned on Hongjoong that Hwayeon's fussiness could be attributed to her missing you but not realising or understanding it. He looked down at his sleeping child.

"She'll come home to us tomorrow." He whispered, closing his eyes to rest with Hwayeon.

"Joong?" You pushed open the door.

After finishing your part of the conference, you told your boss you wouldn't stay on and wanted to come home. Luckily, your boss understood and let you leave early.

"Baby? Joong?" You left your luggage in the living room and went around looking for your family. There was a possibility that they were out. But when you pushed open Hwayeon's room door, you saw the two laying together in Hwayeon's bed.

"Mama...?" Hwayeon sat up, evidently awake while her father was asleep. You smiled and crept over to pick her up.

"Hi there. Oh, I missed you so much, my baby." You hugged her. You moved out of the room so you wouldn't disturb Hongjoong. Hwayeon buried her face in your chest.

"My good girl." You patted her back.

"Were you a good girl for appa and samchons?" You giggled. Inhaling her scent really comforted you.

"Hold on." You put Hwayeon down just go lay a blanket over Hongjoong's sleeping figure. Right after that, Hwayeon climbed into your arms again.

"Appa brought you to play with papa and samchons, huh?" You spoke to Hwayeon, who listened and babbled back.

When Hongjoong woke up, he noticed Hwayeon wasn't in the room with him. Panic shot through him as he heard rumaging outside. He was worried Hwayeon would hurt herself. Jumping to his feet, he rushed out of the room. But he froze in his tracks. There you were, standing in the kitchen with Hwayeon at your hip.

"Oh! Look who it is." You smiled, talking to Hwayeon.

"Appa!" Hwayeon grinned. You laughed and nodded. Hongjoong rubbed his eyes, he was dreaming, right? Because you were only supposed to be back tomorrow.

"You're not dreaming, Joong. I'm back a day early." You chuckled, knowing exactly what your husband was thinking.

"Here you go, baby." You put Hwayeon in her highway, giving her a small bowl of her crackers.

"Joong, I-" You were interrupted by Hongjoong engulfing you in a big hug. Now, Hongjoong's scent was home. You felt his face pressed against your shoulder.

"I missed you too, Joong." You spoke softly.

That was when you felt the dampness on your shoulder. Hongjoong often makes fun of you, saying you're his baby before Hwayeon is. But there were times when Hongjoong was like your son before Hwayeon was your daughter.

"Please don't ever leave me again." He cried. As much as you wanted to comfort him, you couldn't help but snort.

"Leave you? You were the one telling me to leave!" You exclaimed amidst your laughter.

"I know and I regret it." He sobbed. You knew that Hongjoong was really going through it so you stopped laughing at him and really comforted him.

"You did good, Joong. It's not easy doing it alone, hmm?" You patted his head.

"Not just that... I just missed you... I didn't like coming home and you not being there." He said in between his sobs, making you melt.

"Appa...?" You heard a whimper and looked up to see Hwayeon looking horrified at her father crying.

"Oh, no, no, no. My sweet baby girl. Appa is okay. Don't worry." With Hongjoong still stuck to your waist and refusing to let go, you shuffled over to pick Hwayeon up, balancing her on one arm while to other was still around Hongjoong. You sighed with a shake of your head, comforting your upset child and crying husband.

"It's okay, Hwayeon." You pressed kisses to her head to comfort her since you couldn't use your other hand to soothe her.

"You both... seriously..." You sighed with a shake of your head. Hongjoong lifted his head, cupping your cheeks and pulling you in for a deep kiss.

"Excuse me, your daughter is right here!" You slapped his arm. Hongjoong just hugged you again.

"I'm taking you both with me on tour. No negotiations." Hongjoong declared.

"Joong, no." You sent him a flat look.

"But baby~" He whined. You have been with him long enough to not be swayed by his whining anymore. Once Hwayeon was calm again, you set her down on her high chair to continue eating.

"Think about it. It'll be good for melody too, she can travel and experience things overseas. And she won't forget me." Hongjoong said as he pulled you onto his lap so you could both sit with Hwayeon as she ate. You sat across his lap, legs dangling on his side.

"She won't forget you, drama queen." You scoffed, slinging an arm around his shoulders as he leaned his head against your chest.

"Please~" He whined.

"Stop that, I don't want Hwayeon picking up on your whining." You scolded. Hongjoong pouted at you with a small frown, his last resort was always a tantrum.

"No promises but I'll think about it, okay? Let me speak with her paediatrician and stuff." You gave in.

"Okay!" He smiled, pressing a kiss to your cheek, his arms tightening around your waist.

"So, what did the two of you get up to while I wasn't around?" You asked, smiling at Hwayeon, who smiled back at you, her cheeks puffed slightly from the snacks she was eating.

"The usual, her ruling KQ like the princess she is. Her uncles and godfather spoil her too much." Hongjoong clicked his tongue.

"Coming from you?" You raised an eyebrow.

"She's a mini you, she was literally born for me to spoil. That's different." Hongjoong reasoned, rolling his eyes. You laughed, Hongjoong and Ateez would always be fools for Hwayeon, she'll never know the power she has over the 8. She'll always be Ateez's daughter, princess, baby, love and bun.

"You guys are unbelieveable. I can't believe she has all of you wrapped around her finger and she's not even 2. So much for pirate kings." You snorted in disbelief.

"Oh, please. We knew we were doomed to moment we found out our baby was going to be a girl." Hongjoong stated.

"Well, I'm glad you all had fun and bonded more. She's one lucky girl." You giggled.

"Mhmm. I think melody had fun too. But baby, I wanted to ask you something I learnt about. What's this about a group chat called '(y/n)'s favourites'? And why am I not in it?" Hongjoong finally asked.

"Ah... About that..." All you could do was send him a sheepish smile.

~

Masterlist

[munsster]

lost in the woods

A/N: i literally couldnt resist getting my grubby hands on this brainrot song (gif creds: @longestwave)

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader (Season 3)

Summary: You, the party, and Steve attend an annual winter festival while he's feeling utterly lost in the woods. 3.7k words

Warnings: fluff, everything is corny xoxo, slight angst/anxiety/embarrassment, pet names (sweetheart, honey), flashback, general party shenanigans, GODAWFUL PINING, kissing

Robin had slapped a flyer for Tippecanoe’s First Annual Winter Festival on the counter, and Steve knew he had to be there with you somehow. He just had to make it subtle enough not to seem desperate but obvious enough that you knew he wanted you there. Which was easier than he predicted when he handed the flyer to Dustin and his eyes lit up at the idea of a real festival with live music and gingerbread and carnival games and sledding.

So you and Steve caravanned the children and Robin in your cars. Of course, driving separately was not Steve's ideal situation as he loves having you in his passenger seat picking the music and humming softly to yourself. But you had suggested it since there were more bodies than could fit in your station wagon. Robin had begged to differ, insisting there was always more space with a nod to the trunk, which made you giggle and subsequently made Steve absolutely melt. He didn't usually have the patience for her antics, but he would do anything to hear you laugh even if it meant contorting himself into your trunk.

However, he knows that's not the only reason you suggested separate cars with separate drivers. Things had been tense since the last time he saw you, and the guilt weighs on him like a cold metal barbell crushing his chest.

Your fingers curl into the collar of his shirt, barely grasping, and you crane your neck towards him. You watch his honey eyes draw over your lips just before he leans in and kisses you.

His hand molds into your side, melting over the exposed skin like hot syrup. You press into his hold and smile with your fingers drawing up and across the back of his neck.

But the kiss short lived when he pulls away, shoving a hand through his ruffled hair.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Steve huffs, standing and backing away, "I don't know what I'm doing. I should go!"

He hadn't planned on rushing out of your house and into the snow without any of his belongings, but that's how it happened. It's the subject of most of his nightmares. The look on your face and the blaring sound the door made when it slammed. He had stood on your porch wringing his hands and exhaling puffs of hot air when he finally decided to go through with his running away.

But now he felt completely lost. And he could tell he was losing you, too.

Robin had thoroughly scolded him when he called her that night, telling him he's an idiot for walking out on you when you two were clearly and stupidly in love. He agreed and wallowed in self pity, listening to sappy love songs and soft rock until he eventually fell asleep.

This festival was his chance to make apologize. To fall for you all over again. If only he could get you alone without the squeaky voices of a handful of pestering teens.

El and Max drag you and Robin toward the steep hill carved out for sledding, and Steve follows with the group of boys hot on his trail. They coo taunting endearments at him, urging him to share a sled with you. Dustin hollers something or other about his probably fake girlfriend Suzie and how he officially has more game than Steve.

You look back at him sweetly and mouth 'sorry' before you plop down onto your sled. For all the trouble, you mean. You know the kids would be much calmer if they knew Steve didn't actually want you. And he clearly doesn't after the other night. And the way he seems so nonchalant. He shakes his head and mouths 'don't worry about it' as he shoves his jittery hands in his pockets. The wind whips at his hot face and he wishes he'd brought a scarf. Or some dignity.

"You have to win something for her," Lucas says once they reach the bottom of the hill, and Steve is hit with the realization that all of these twerps somehow got girlfriends before him. Although, Dustin's status is still questionable. He at least has the audacity to lie about his romantic endeavors.

"Yeah," Max agrees, pointing to the tip-a-jug stand lined with winter themed plushies, "Girls love stuffed animals. Plus, winning will be an excellent show of your strength."

"And generosity! The ladies love a charitable man," Mike adds. Steve rolls his eyes, worried you'll hear them from where you walk just a few paces ahead with Will and El. But maybe they have a point.

"I don't need advice from schoolchildren."

"You mean romantically successful schoolchildren!" Dustin chirps.

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose while they beg him to win you something good. Finally, he gives in, sifting a few singles from his wallet. Max calls you over to watch Steve win, and you chuckle weakly, knowing they forced him into it somehow.

The vendor hands him a basket of blue bean bags with snowmen painted on them. Steve's heart races when you step up next to him.

"Good luck," you huff. You both know these games are rigged from the moment the cash hits the counter. But he smiles at you and holds one of the bags in his palm. God, somehow you're even prettier with snowflakes in your hair and the warm fairy lights twinkling behind you.

He lasers in on the game, winding up that rubber arm like he's back in little league hoping for a strike out. The first few jugs clatter backwards. Suddenly, the kids are much more invested learning the possibility that he might actually win.

It's down to the final jug, and he takes a deep breath. In all honesty, he's never been this successful in any stupid carnival game. Why he is tonight is a mystery. Maybe next he'll be struck by lightning.

Except, the last bean bag thuds against the side of the apparatus, and the crowd groans. He perches his hands on his hips and bows his head.

"You did pretty good, kid. Why don't you pick one of the medium sized prizes?" The vendor asks, gesturing to the small stuffed animals halfway up the wall.

"Which one do you want, sweetheart?"

He turns back and his eyes lock with yours. He's hoping the kids were right. Maybe you'll be impressed or charmed. Or maybe you'll think he's being vain and trying needlessly to boost his ego. But you glance at him in surprise, eagerly stepping forward and tugging on his sleeve.

"Steve, I can't accept your prize. You won it fair and square."

"They begged me to play. I only did it because I love showing off," he teases, and it makes you giggle. Hallelujah. You point to the small polar bear plush, and the vendor hands it to you. Steve's heart flutters when you accept the bear so tenderly and thank him like you're shy. But he's never known you to be bashful. At least, not when it comes to teasing him.

Everyone, including Robin, coos and hoots and hollers at the two of you basking in the soft carnival game light. You whip around and tell them to shush.

"Quit it, I'm not afraid to send you all home right now," Steve says, pointing an accusatory finger. You hide your grin behind your plush when his hair bounces from his intensity.

The kids grumble, and Dustin says, "Yes, mom and dad," begrudgingly but with a shit eating grin on his face. It makes Steve blush more than it should.

You suggest stopping for gingerbread-flavored funnel cake and hot apple cider and face a hoard of suddenly starving children.

Dustin sighs dramatically, catching your attention. "This night is so beautiful, don't you think, Steve?"

"Careful, Henderson, I'm your ride home," Steve says.

"What? I’m just saying it would be a shame to waste such a romantic night." Dustin tries his hardest to wink subtly. "If only it weren't for Brad—"

"No, she dumped Brad," El helpfully suggests. The news lights up their eyes, and they bounce around excitedly.

"Who raised these kids?" Steve huffs, eyebrows raised and cringing at their blatant attempts at match making.

You roll your eyes, announcing, "You guys, Steve has more important things to worry about than a girlfriend."

Steve looks at you. You're trying to settle them down, but all it does is shatter his heart and make him their target. He knows it's in good fun and all but the wobble in your voice makes his knees buckle and his throat tighten. He needs to fix this and fast if he wants any chance at reconciliation.

Max stares him down. "What did you do?"

"Come on, Steve the King," Lucas sighs, "You're supposed to be working with us, not against us!"

Steve shakes his head and turns away from the slander. You follow his lead. You're staring straight ahead, pretending to look at the menu while he fiddles with the hem of his sleeve.

Then, El notices a small mistletoe hanging from the edge of the canopy. The kids giggle and nudge each other, and Robin's eyes go wide realizing the front of the line crosses through its path. And you and Steve are standing side by side.

So just as the line shuffles forward, Robin elbows her way between the two of you, earning a hearty grumble from Steve.

"Sorry, I—uh"—solid gameplan, Robin—"Lovely weather we're having."

You chuckle and look up at the way the snow seems to hover midair. Little specks of white illuminated by the festivities with a backdrop of darkness and starlight.

"Yeah, I guess so," you hum. Steve crosses his arms over his chest with a sour look when he spots the mistletoe dangling above the two of you.

"Oh, gosh! Would you look at that," Robin chirps, "Mistletoe! You know what that means."

"You cut the line just so you could kiss me?" you say, smile creeping onto your face. She shrugs, and you hold her jaw while you lean in and peck her cheek. Steve lets out a sigh of relief, but Robin is stirred, her cheeks blooming a rosy pink from more than just the cold.

"Satisfied?"

Robin nods, tugging on her hat and warbling about checking out the ice sculptures and how she'd be back in a second. Steve sheepishly reclaims his spot beside you.

"You want one, too?" you tease. His heart flutters considering it, but his silence has you recoiling and turning away. "Sorry. Just... kidding."

Of course, he wants to kiss you. And he doesn't want it to be an accident or a mistake or a regret. He's already messed up once, and the thought of messing it up with you again hurts like an icicle to the heart.

The kids bound towards the huge tree sprouting from the center of the fair grounds. An announcement had called for the first annual tree lighting at nine, and crowds had flocked to the base of the looming tree. Not Steve, though. He lingers just behind you while you order the funnel cake. He's a little embarrassed when you turn back around holding the plate to find yourselves deserted by your group.

"Where'd everyone go?"

"Distracted by the lights, I guess," he huffs, feeling the pang in his chest when you nod wearily. "Wanna sit down? I saw an open bench back there."

You grab an extra fork and follow him to the bench seated along the edge of the grounds. There's a perfect view of the grand tree with a couple minutes to spare. The bench is snug enough, your thigh pressed to his. It reminds you of that night in your living room and the way he looked at you like he really cared. Like he could have actually wanted you. Honestly, you think, who was he kidding.

But it's second nature the way you hand him a fork.

"Mmm, tastes like..." he hums while trying to decipher the distinct flavor but all he can muster is cinnamon and sugar.

"Gingerbread?" you tease. He ducks his head, grinning and reaching for another bite.

"That would make sense."

You laugh when powdered sugar kisses the tip of his nose. He's confused why you're staring at him like that and rubs his sleeve across his mouth, which makes you laugh harder.

"What?"

You try and wipe it way but miss by a long shot, swiping at his chin through your giggle fit. He finally wipes the tip of his nose. You take a deep breath in, calming your laughter.

"Sweetheart, what is it? What's on my face?"

"You got it." You shake your head. "Just some powdered sugar."

"All that for a little sugar," he teases, grinning from ear to ear when you stifle a laugh. You settle into the bench and he drapes his arm long the back of it. He likes having you so close. It makes him feel foolish and ecstatic and boyish. And he doesn't think he's ever felt so warm before.

You're about to say something when the tree lights up. A million tiny bulbs of green and red and yellow lead to the shining star on top. It illuminates his face, and you can really see the glimmer reflected in his brown eyes. Carolers sing holy night across the festival, but you can still hear them loud and clear. You want to tell Steve he's everything. You would if you could be sure it wouldn't scare him away. People clap and whistle. You're conflicted.

Is this how he felt before he ran away?

"I owe you an apology," he blurts. He turns to face you to find you're already looking him dead in the eyes. His stomach twists because that means it's real and he's not daydreaming. The hope makes him nervous.

You shake your head.

"No, Steve, you have nothing to apologize for. If anything, I should apologize. I still have all the blankets you left, and it's the middle of winter."

"Sweetheart, please, I'm the one who ran out on you," he huffs, "I was being a coward. I've liked you for so long, and I wanted to kiss you, and I know the kids are usually full of shit—and I can't believe I'm saying this—but they're right. I belong to you. I mean it, I'm yours. And as cheesy as it sounds, without you... I feel lost."

The air between you feels thick enough to carve with a butter knife. It's not snowing anymore, but still, something stirs and shimmers and wavers as his confession sets in. It gets a little harder to breathe and he can almost feel the altitude sickness from the flicker in your eye. Though, shortness of breath is nothing compared to the way you make him feel on top of the world with just a glance.

His heart sinks when you tear up and look away.

"Hey," he whispers, leaning in when you desperately press your mittens to your cheeks.

"Sorry. Sorry." You tilt your head back and squint your eyes shut to stop the hot flow of tears.

"It's okay. I didn't mean to make you cry," he says softly when you cover your face and chuckle dryly.

"I know. I just feel like..." you huff, feeling a little silly for crying when Steve rubs your back like he means every word he said. Like he's really sorry and all he wants is you. "It was never the right time for us."

He can't help the way his heart crumbles to pieces like forgotten pastry between your skilled fingers. You're trying not to cry, and it's his fault. You take a deep breath. He thinks he would buy you all the sweet things in the world to make you happy. Even if it meant you didn't need him anymore. It would be enough to know he could do something good for you.

Then you turn to him, and he's doe eyed and handsome and hopeful.

You whisper, "But, now—"

Suddenly, the hoard returns, stampeding and complaining about the cold and how Robin is flirting with the pretty exhibit curator and the tree lighting was so cool but now El wants to take pictures with her new camera and are you gonna eat that? Steve's still hanging onto your every word over the ruckus. Now?

You offer them the rest of the funnel cake which Mike and Dustin devour in seconds. You give Will your scarf when he shivers, and Steve offers his gloves to Lucas who gives one to Max so he can hold her other hand.

"Hey, remember when I told you you'd be cold?" you tease Will who shrugs shyly and Lucas who grumbles, squeezing Max's hand.

"But why would they wear proper clothing when they know you're too caring to refuse?" Max says, cocking a brow. You squint at her.

"Are you calling me a pushover?"

She giggles and kisses your cheek before skipping away with Lucas and shouting, "Only because I love you!"

El hooks her arm in yours and tugs you towards the string light tunnel near the exit. You glance back at Steve who listens to Dustin talk about all the old couples watching the tree lighting ceremony. He makes a point to tell Steve he'd like to come back every year.

Steve looks to you and agrees.

You think El's trying to win the record for most polaroids taken in ten seconds. She takes a few of Max and Lucas and a couple of all of the boys together. She's shouting at them to behave when you wander off towards Steve.

Your knuckles brush his, and you startle, but he's already holding your soft, gloved hand and biting back a grin. You tug him towards you and face him with a fierce look in your eye.

"Quit putting the moves on me, Harrington," you tease, but he sweeps your hair out of your face anyway. Oh, and he looks like he wants to kiss you. Just like before. Only this time, he's not going to run away. And you can tell when he gently cradles your neck that he’s gonna stick around for a long time.

But just as he leans in, a flash goes off and you look straight into El’s lens as the camera clacks and zips. You quickly let go of Steve’s hand and huff out a laugh when one of the kids wolf whistles. Steve chuckles and dips in to kiss your cheek. El skips over and hands you the polaroid, telling you to shake it until it develops.

Once it does, you’re already headed back to the parking lot. You hand it to Steve, and his face lights up.

The light tunnel frames the picture like a halo. Your eyes are wide, staring into the camera while the flash shines on your shocked face. But he’s still looking at you and waiting for his kiss, holding your face with your mitten tucked into his cold hand. You think he looks handsome. He knows that’s because he’s lovesick, and it shows

“I hope you know I’m keeping this,” he says, pinching the corner like it’ll fly away in a snow flurry. You giggle.

“Fine, but I want it on weekends.”

“Deal,” he teases. He plops into his driver’s seat, tucking the polaroid into his sun visor. You lean down and perch your forearms on the window.

“Drive safe, Stevie,” you whisper, glancing at his sweet smile and flushed face.

“I want to kiss you.”

You raise your eyebrows and peek into the back seat where Will, El, and Max giggle. And then to where Dustin is slumped in the passenger’s seat, his forehead rested against the glass.

“Dustin is gonna be furious when he finds out you said that, and he wasn’t awake to witness it,” you hum, but Steve couldn’t care less with you so close to him.

“Maybe it’ll teach him to mind his own damn business.” Steve says it so casually, it makes you smile.

“His meddling isn’t all bad,” you shrug, “It brought us together.”

Well, shit, Steve thinks. He’s never gonna hear the end of it from the kid.

“In that case, I owe him one,” he says, out of focus when you lean further into the car. “Or a couple.”

You smile against his mouth and he hums lowly. It’s gentle. Unhurried. Like it could stop the world from turning if only for a second. If the festival were any quieter, your heartbeats would be audible. You pull away with a small grin and smooth down the collar of his jacket. He holds your wrist, fingers lazily wrapping around the cuff of your mitten to keep your hand close to his chest.

Max pokes Dustin’s shoulder and he wakes with a loud startle. He orients himself to find the both of you staring back at him.

“What was that for? What did I miss?” he whines with a furrowed brow. Max rolls her eyes, tugging her headphones on.

“Dude,” she huffs. El giggles, shaking her head, and Will waves when you stand back from the window.

You pat Steve’s shoulder and say, “Seriously, please be careful. It’s slippery.”

Steve nods, giving you a little salute. You smile. He blushes.

“You, too, honey,” he coos, hoping you’ll linger by his window just a little longer. But Dustin snaps his fingers impatiently.

“Let’s get this show on the road,” he says, already nodding off again. You chuckle.

“I’ll follow you out,” you say with a nod, “Nighty night, Dusty.”

Dustin swats away the tease with a, “Yeah, yeah. Talk to me when you’re boyfriend-girlfriend.”

Steve cocks a brow and you laugh, shrugging. His engine revs to life and you back away further with a cute little wave when his headlights flicker on. He watches you open your car door and disappear inside before slowly creeping out of the parking spot. You shuck your mittens and set them in the cupholder, Robin grinning from beside you the entire time.

“We saw everything,” she says. Mike and Lucas share a knowing glance in the backseat, and you hold up one finger.

“Not a word.”

But you smile the whole way home.

more like this

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[amostnobleyandere]

Yandere! Diluc x Reader

Summary: Kidnapped Reader begins to feel touch starved after being trapped for so long and finally reciprocates Diluc’s need for physical affection. Cue a steamy make-out session.

MDNI.

Warning(s): YANDERE content (do not read if you are not comfortable), kidnapping, imprisonment, possessive behavior, obsessive behavior, implied Stockholm syndrome, dubious consent (concerning touch), forced affection, forced kissing, steamy, !! heavily suggestive ending (smut implied)!!, slight hair pulling, slight isolation, forced marriage, they make out and both of them get somewhat turned on *gasp*

—————————

“Just one kiss. Please, darling.”

“No-“

Your protests were silenced by Diluc pushing his plush lips onto yours. The kiss was soft, delicate, and loving, something filled with longing after not seeing you for hours. However, the romance of it all didn’t mean much to you when you had been backed into the corner of your shared canopy bed with no way to escape.

You tightly fisted your hands into the sheets as his lips pressed insistently against yours, a discarded book next lying open on the silken bedding. You had been entertaining yourself pretty well before Diluc, your husband, had gotten home from a long day of work and business, deciding that he wanted to relish in your company after being deprived of it for so many hours. Your husband was a working man, and unfortunately for you, he only became more desperate to hold you after being separated most days.

Diluc’s arms caged you in while his thigh pressed against yours, heat seeping through the thin fabric. His winter clothes had been switched out for lighter ones with the coming spring, and you could feel every tensing muscle in his body as it shifted against your shamefully thin loungewear. You could feel the twitching of his body, the stiff movements that came with him resisting the urge to run his hands all over you. He knew you didn’t like him touching you. He knew that he was pushing it by kissing you with such intensity.

Today though, today was different. You didn’t mind the way his lips were bruising yours with each practiced tilt of his head. An all too human part of you was so tired of resisting every day, and it craved the warmth that you felt in those moments after he was done kissing you; those moments when he brought his gloved hands up to caress your face as you avoided his painfully adoring expression.

Hesitantly, you brought your tense arm up to graze the hair near the back of his head, each movement feeling slow and forced. But god, you were so desperate for the thought of being touched, and could no longer keep up the act of repulsion to the little physical touch Diluc gave you; you were tired of being careful to avoid every brush of skin, every silent show of affection.

Diluc knew it made you uncomfortable, and for the first few months of your “stay” you would have rather gagged yourself before you ever kissed him willingly. But loneliness was a powerful thing, and besides the maids who would barely look you in the eye, he was the only one you could reach out and hold.

Your hand landed on the back of his ponytail and you did you best to ignore how quickly Diluc stiffened under the shift in weight. His lips froze against yours in shock, but you pushed your hand further into his hair before anxiety made you pull it back. Your fingers curled into his locks, slightly tugging at the base where a ribbon held it back, and the first thing you thought was how absolutely soft it was.

You heard Diluc shakily breathe in, his eyes wide as he stared at you in disbelief. His hands landed firmly on your hips in an awkward attempt to put them somewhere. You could feel his fingertips digging into your skin, hands tense as he felt the new sensation of your fingers running through his hair.

…Clearly your touch was not unwelcome.

Feeling emboldened, you went further. With one of your hands still nestled in his hair, you rested the other one on his chest. You curiously ran it up to his collar, distracted by the new feeling of the coarse clothing and the strong body that shuddered underneath your light touch. You felt his heart beat unimaginably fast against your palm, heat seeping into your skin already from the light contact.

You quickly glanced up at his eyes and immediately became aware of the intensity of the look he was giving you. His gaze roamed your face, going from your eyes to your lips, searching fervently for something in your expression. You had never been the one to initiate anything before, much less encourage his behavior. You had always been quite cold to your captor ever since he had swept you away and locked you up in his mansion, too paranoid and in love to keep you anywhere but under his watchful eye.

You suddenly felt very nervous. Diluc’s blood red eyes reminded you of a predator, following every slight movement you made with rapt attention.

A primal part of you was scared of breaking eye contact with the dangerous man in front of you and you felt your heartbeat quicken for the first time in a while; whether it was fear or excitement, it made a fire light in your body.

Slowly, you leaned into him, ghosting your lips against his as he sharply inhaled, muscles tensing underneath your fingers as you focused on the rhythmic thrum of his heart. You moved the hand over his heart to join the other nestled in his hair. You pressed your chests together, practically melting into him as the lonely place in your heart sighed in relief at the warmth surrounding you.

You were the closest to him you had ever been, and you were returning the affection he had showered you with since the day he took you away. In the moment, you were unaware as to what exactly was going through Diluc’s mind. This was a sign of you willingly accepting his love. A thing you had only ever seemed to acknowledge reluctantly. His self restraint snapped, and then his hands were everywhere.

What had gone from a sensual kiss of longing was now a passionate fight for breath, with every harsh press of his lips to yours ending and beginning again at a dizzying pace. His exhales met yours in quick, desperate pants, as he seemed only able to pull away for a second before attaching himself to you again.

You soon lost your balance from the onslaught and fell back onto the bed. Diluc paused for a brief moment before following you and carefully placing himself over you, putting his weight on one forearm and using his other hand to impatiently tug open his collar.

“Diluc?” You said, dazed by the sudden change in his behavior.

“Hot,” was the only thing he said, forgoing elaborating to instead nudge his face into the crook of your neck. You tensed as you felt his lips brush against the sensitive area, each exhale adding more heat to already damp skin.

You nearly screamed when you felt his lips settle onto your skin, his teeth latching onto your neck happily. He bit painful heat into your throat, marking each new spot he found with eagerness as he moved down your neck. He began pressing fleeting kisses up to your ear, which he then happily bit and abused. His tongue ran across the shell languidly, a teasing motion with a meaning more sensual behind it, and an unexpected bolt of electricity shot through you.

Diluc seemed to be caught between deciding to pin you underneath him or allowing your hands to be entwined in his hair. Eventually, he guided your hand up to where it have previously been, and you automatically pulled on the long strands just to ground yourself. He moaned at the feeling. You teased the ribbon away until it fell from his nape, watching bright red locks spill over the broad shoulders now caging you in. Errant strands floated above you, teasing at your face and skin as Diluc ran his hands up and down the side of your waist. He panted in your ear and his hot breaths bounced against sensitive skin, making goosebumps rise along your arms.

You jumped as you felt his hand run to your thigh and squeeze, the firm grip making something light up in your stomach. You inhaled shakily, gasping as your realized that you were going to get what you wanted and more. Tonight was going to be a long night.

—————————

[angel5ofp0rn]

♡ part nine ♡

ExHusband!Price x f!reader

You and John have been pretty distant during the past two months, basically just coparenting in the same house.

You decided that depending on how this goes, how John and his ex wife interact, how the kids all get along, that's how you’ll decide the next step for the two of to get back together.

On the train from London to Bath, John holds your youngest in his lap and listen to her ooh's and ah's about being in a new country.

Meanwhile, you listen to every little question your oldest asks you about the new country, about the plane ride, about why everyone here “talks like daddy”.

After a while the train finally arrives at the station. John takes the lead out the door, carrying your oldest on his back as you carry the youngest on your hip.

The two of you are pretty silent, only talking to the children rather than each other.

The kids go crazy, suddenly getting a burst of energy as they explore the rental John booked for this trip.

They’re clearly more interested in the temporary house than anything else.

"So," you look at John as the kids giggle and wrestle on the floor. "When do we meet them?"

John takes a deep breath before he speaks. "Tomorrow morning. I thought the four of us could get breakfast and then head out to Nadia's house." He speaks carefully as if he’s trying not to say something that might upset you.

You just nod, turning your attention back to the kids.

He doesn’t say it, but he’s just as nervous as you. He doesn’t know what it’ll be like tomorrow, if the kids will all get along, if you and his other ex-wife will get along.

The kids definitely don’t sense any tension, that's for sure.

•••

You and John tucked the kids into bed in the larger room of the house, letting them share the king bed. It’s just John and you in the second room, separate beds, as had become the norm for the two of you.

John's quiet in his bed simply staring at the ceiling, his mind filled with thoughts of the following day.

"John..?" You sit up in your bed and look over at him.

John turns his head, a tiny bit surprised to see that you're still awake. He just gives you a small smile.

"Can't sleep?"

You shake your head. You’d been trying to sleep for the last two hours but the anxiety isn't letting you.

"Yeah... Neither can I..." John rubs his face and lets out a small sigh. He lifts his covers. "C'mon, love."

You should put your foot down or tell him off... But you don’t.

He has you. Divorce, secret family and all.

You slowly get out of your bed and crawl into his, instantly cuddling up to his warm body.

John wraps his arms around you, pulling you to his chest. He closes his eyes, savoring this moment with you.

You're in his arms, and although things between you two are still tense, you're at least here with each other.

Things are okay as long as you two are together, he thinks to himself before slowly starting to drift off to sleep.

•••

After breakfast the four of you head off. You have John park your rental car down the block hoping that the fresh air would help calm your nerves…

Or maybe you were just stalling.

John's leading the way, carrying your youngest in one arm and holding the oldest’s hand with the other.

The kids are both pretty excited to meet Theo. They took the news that their father has another child very well… That wasn’t surprising, as they're just kids and don't fully understand.

You, on the other hand, are a nervous wreck. You thought of what would happen if Nadia hates you, since John meeting you made him leave her, or what if Theo wants nothing to do with your kids, his half-siblings.

What if Nadia and John still have feelings for each other?

John looks over at you, noticing the slight panic and anxiety on your face even though you're trying to hide it from the kids. He keeps his expression calm, even when his heart feels like it's pounding out of his chest.

He knows you're going to have questions and feelings about this no matter what, but he just hopes the two of you can get through his visit with his other family without any more damage.

The four of you continue walking, the house that Nadia and Theo live in coming into full view. John's grip on your oldest’s hand tightens slightly, you could notice. He lets go of the five-year-old’s hand once you're all at the front door and he rings the doorbell.

After a moment Nadia stands in the doorway, her blonde hair pulled back in a claw clip, a small smile on her face...

Damn it, she's gorgeous.

She's older than you, John's age, with these gorgeous green eyes and the prettiest long eyelashes and full lips… She even has the cutest dimples in her cheeks.

You felt like couldn't even blame John if he decided today that he wants to go back to her.

John didn't really think much about Nadia's appearance. To him she was just an old flame of the past. She was beautiful, sure, but he had moved on years ago.

She was just his son’s mother.

But, seeing how you looked at her caused John a bit of pain. He knew it was bothering you. He wanted to assure you that there was nothing to worry about between the two of them, but he didn’t have a chance to do so just yet.

Instead, John smiles a bit as he starts to introduce you all.

"Nadia... Uh, this is Gabriel, my son.” Your oldest, just excited to see his older brother soon, waves a bit, "and this is Linnie, my little girl.” Your youngest, feeling shy around the stranger, buries her face into John’s chest.

John then gestures to you, turning his head towards you then glances back over at Nadia. "And this is Y/N... My, erm..."

"Ex-wife." You offer, blushing a bit. No need to complicate it. "It's really nice to meet you, Nadia. Thank you for letting us all be here."

Nadia smiles, genuinely. "Of course. I'm glad this is all finally happening. Come in, come in. Tea's on."

You follow behind John as we walk into Nadia's house, holding Gabriel's hand tightly.

John walks in with you and the kids, a lot of nervous energy still adiating from him. You sit at the table with everyone, holding your youngest in your lap now as your oldest sits between John and yourself.

"Where's my brother?" Your oldest whispers to John as Nadia sets tea in front of John and you, then herself as she sits across.

John looks down at your son and smiles, his nervousness temporarily gone when asked about Theo. "I'm sure he'll be out of his room in a moment."

Nadia just seems to be staring at John for a moment, her expression hard to read, before she smiles and gestures to the children. "These two are adorable."

"Thank you,” you laugh a bit. "They're a couple of little monkeys."

Nadia laughs as well, finding your description of your children funny. She takes a drink of her tea as she sets her cup down on the table. "They're beautiful. They really look like Theo when he was their ages."

As if on cue, Theo walks into the dining room.

Of course he’s gorgeous.

He looks like ten year old John.

He see's his dad and immediately runs up to him and hugs him tightly. You watch as John smiles widely, hugging his oldest son tightly.

Your oldest, upon seeing that John is now hugging his big brother, starts to get excited. He hops out of his seat and goes running towards Theo as well.

“Big brother!" The five year old’s arms immediately wrap around Theo and hugs him tightly as well. Theo hugs him back, unfazed, as if he's know him his entire life instead of this being their first time meeting.

"Oh my God…” You smile, the sight warming my heart.

Nadia seems to be having a similar reaction to you, grinning broadly as the two boys hug each other. She turns to look at your daughter for a moment, who just watches intently, taking in the sight of her brothers. She seems excited too, wiggling around in your lap to see them better.

"Do you want to meet Theo as well, little one?" Nadia asked her gently.

Your youngest nods shyly.

You put her on her feet, and the oldest child kneels down, anticipating a hug from the toddler.

Instead, the little one runs to Nadia and climbs into her lap for a hug instead. You and John both laugh, surprised by this.

Nadia smiles and wraps her arms around Linnie, hugging her tightly. Her embrace is comforting and reassuring to the bashful little one.

"It's nice to meet you, Theo." You finally smile at John and Nadia's son. "I'm Y/N."

Theo's smile grows as he sees you, his bright blue eyes studying you carefully almost like he's trying to memorize your appearance. "It's nice to meet you, too.”

"Can we play?!" Your oldest asked John’s oldest, then looked back to John for permission as well.

John nods quickly, giving him permission to play with his older brother. Nadia, meanwhile, just smiles and nods as well. "Theo has loads of Legos in his room. Go ahead. Get to know one another as well."

Your oldest smiles widely before following his “new” big brother to his room. Linnie just clings to Nadia's chest, looking between the two of you, trying to take everything in.

"I might just keep this little one." Nadia teased, hugging her a bit closer.

You can't help but smile. This isn't at all how you thought this would go.

It's so much better.

The boys are now playing in the room, building Legos and just enjoying each other's company. Your daughter seems content to be with Nadia, who's holding her in her lap, stroking her hair softly with her fingers and talking quietly with her.

You feel John take your hand under the table, squeezing it a bit as he sips his tea.

John leans in closely, whispering to you as Nadia speaks with your youngest. "Everything's goin’ well... right?"

You nod with a small smile, then sip at your tea as well. You watch as Nadia gets your little one to open up a bit, getting her to talk and giggle.

It only takes a few minutes before Nadia convinces the two year old to go into Theo's room and play with her big brothers, and to get to know Theo a bit. Now it's just her, John and you at the table.

John looks around and seems to sigh in relief, leaning back in his seat as he continues to squeeze your hand.

Nadia and you finally get a chance to have a proper conversation as the two of you continue to talk and sip on your tea.

Everything has gone so smoothly; especially now when Gabriel and Linnie seem to have just bonded with Theo like the three have known each other for years rather than just having met today.

John sighs a bit, smiling over at Nadia and you as she holds a conversation with you, seeming more than happy that things are working out.

For the first time in a long time, today he feels at ease, like everything's going just like it's supposed to go.

After spending the entire day together, You decide it's time to get the kiddos back to the rental and get them into bed.

John helps Nadia with the dishes after dinner while you help the kids clean up Theo's room after playing.

•••

You and John finish bathing the children after their long day and tuck them into the king bed once again.

John follows you into the other bedroom, shutting the door behind him as he goes over and sits on the edge of his bed. He just takes a deep breath in there, sighing as he rubs his face.

Today went well, sure. But that doesn’t exactly change anything between the two of you just yet.

You sit on John's lap, his arms instantly wrapping around your waist. It was just natural.

John just exhales. Your warmth against his chest helped him to feel at ease for a moment.

"Nadia is gorgeous." You sigh. "You didn't tell me that part."

John chuckles softly. "Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

"How can I not be?"

John rubs his thumb over the top of your thigh. "She's my past, love... We don't have... We've never had what you and I have."

You look at him, meeting his eyes. You try to find even a tiny hint of dishonestly.

That makes the next part harder.

“I don’t understand how you could have done that to them.” You start slowly. “The man I married isn’t a man that would just abandon his family for some random girl at a bar.”

You could feel John tense at your words. You stand up off of his lap now, pacing the room a bit.

“I didn’t abandon them-“

“You left your wife and child in a different country. What would you call that?” You retort.

“You don’t understand how things were between Nadia and I before I met you.” John insists. “It’s not like I left a happy marriage.”

“You still left your child.” You shake your head. “If you visit fucking Italy right now and meet a younger woman, would you leave Gabe and Linnie back in the states and only see them once a month? I always thought, ‘maybe John and I aren’t a good match, but at least he’s a good dad’… But I don’t know if I believe that anymore.”

“I’m a damn good dad. To all of them.” John defends himself through gritted teeth.

“You’ve been lying to my kids their whole lives!”

“Your kids?” John quirked an eyebrow at that.

“My kids.” You double down, arms crossed.

“I don’t wanna fight.” John sighs finally, rubbing his eyes. “Can we talk about this in the morning?”

“Fine.” You exit the room, going back to where the kids slept, leaving John alone.

<< prev next >>

[bwabys-scenarios]

Hi bwaby ~ I’m new to your page and I love your yandere posts ^^ I’m reading the ones you’ve written for Kurapika. I saw your requests were open.

How do you think hxh yanderes would respond to their captive s/o having a panic/anxiety attacks when their captor tries to get intimate? How would they go about that?

🖤 ur work 🖤🖤🖤 thnx

Yandere!HXH respond to you panicking during intimacy

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: dubcon, panic attack, bad aftercare, forced cuddling, slight manipulation/coercion with Chrollo(it backfires), vomit in Chrollo’s, Feitan is emotionally distant, Kurapika is unstable

A/N: just a little note that none of my yanderes will ever rape the reader. I just include dubious consent because being captive blurs the lines of consent. Can you really consent when you’re captive? I don’t know, so I include it just in case, even though in my eyes reader is always consenting during these acts. I’m not comfortable with writing out rape, so this situation is the farthest I go.

characters included: Kurapika, Leorio, Chrollo, Feitan, Illumi

Yandere NSFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @pannacottababy

‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️

Kurapika

First of all, Kurapika is VERY hesitant to initiate any intimacy after he takes you away. He wants you to get used to your captivity before he starts anything.

Kurapika is also the only yandere on this list that won’t be overly pushy in terms of physical contact most if the time, and honestly he’s okay if you never love him again… even if he really wants you to love him and give him lots of affection. He knows he did something unforgivable by taking you away from your life, and he’s willing to be hated by you if it means you’ll be safe.

Now, when you do eventually initiate some kind of intimacy he is over the moon. He would do anything for you, desperate to please you and make the experience as good as possible. Kurapika wants your love, your physical touch, and he wants it willingly.

So when he initiates, kissing along your neck with his hand gently rubbing your clothed cunt, he stops immediately when you start to panic. “My angel? Are you okay?”

He’s quick to pull away and give you space. His hands shake and he feels guilt and panic rise in his own chest. Did he just ruin all of the progress the two of you had?

But you calm down after a little, and lean against him. “I… I’m sorry, I just… I got really anxious.”

He’s quick to wrap his arms around you, tentatively smoothing out your hair. “Don’t apologize… shh, just relax. We don’t have to do anything.”

Kurapika spends the rest of the night just a bit unstable, terrified that he’ll do something to upset you. He just loves you so much and he doesn’t want to lose your love and affection when he just got it back. The next day he makes sure to pamper you more than usual, and he’s almost a bit clingy… as if he’s scared he’ll lose you.

Leorio

He’s pretty handsy, though most of his touches are just affectionate in nature. When you cuddle, he has his hand in your ass or thigh, kneading at the soft flesh.

Leorio likes to have you in his lap as often as possible, where he can move you as he pleases as cover you in kisses as he holds you as close as possible.

He’s eager to get back to sex after he takes you, though he won’t push… too much. Leorio is just super clingy and you’re already sitting pretty on his lap, the only thing separating you from his is that pretty skirt you’re wearing!

It was a normal day, with you sitting in his lap after he tugged you his way. But this time, instead of the usual soft squish he’d give your thigh or kisses to your cheek or the top of your head, Leorio started moving you back and forth against the bulge firming in his pants.

You instantly froze, feeling his warm breath on your neck. When you began to panic and cry, Leorio paused for a moment. “Princess? Something wrong?”

When you started to struggle, he gently set you down. The air was thick and heavy with tension and awkward energy. He scratched the back of his neck, his boner gone. “You alright?”

You shook your head. “I… I don’t want to, Leorio… I’m scared…”

He felt his heart break a little, but he was quick to reach out and gently ruffle your hair. “Don’t be scared… I won’t… do anything to you that you don’t want…”

But it felt a bit hypocritical, considering he did steal you from your old life against your will. Leorio had standards though, and one of those was not assaulting people.

That night, he was way less clingy than usual, giving you some space and time to process things… but you joined him in bed for snuggles later.

Chrollo

He kept telling you he wanted to make your first time with him special, that he’d buy you flowers and pretty lingerie to wear. He even suggested getting a nicer hotel than usual, which was shocking because the hotels you usually stayed in with him were beyond luxurious.

So when the special night came, he took you out to a fancy dinner, letting you order whatever you wanted. You had become very complacent, accepting the fact you’d never be able to escape him… not even in death.

So you are your food, and you bathed before putting on the set of lingerie he surely paid a high price for, and sat on the bed, waiting for him to get back from a meeting with some phantom troupe members that were in town.

The wait already had you anxious, but the way he kept going on and on about how perfect he made everything and how much effort he put into this night put a lot of pressure on you to do well.

And that was on purpose. He wanted you to know just how much he had done for you… how much he craved and adored you. With him, you would be endlessly pampered and loved… all you had to do was be a good girl and do as he said.

So by the time he got back, you were already anxiously fidgeting with your lacy black lingerie, biting your lip.

Now… he didn’t want to make you anxious, just a little nervous. He thought it would be cute to see you squeak like a timid little mouse as he took you… he didn’t want you to stiffly lie down and tear up when he unbuttoned his shirt.

And he hadn’t expected you to throw up from the stress of it all.

He felt a bit guilty, you were crying and muttering apologies as he called for room service, trying to clean it up yourself. Had he instilled that much fear in you that you shook in terror at the thought of upsetting you? That’s not what Chrollo wanted… despite his sly and manipulative nature, he wanted you to genuinely love him and see him as someone that protected and took care of you.

So once you calmed down a little, he pulled you in and snuggled you, kissing the top of your head. “I..: apologize. We’ll do this at your pace.”

You couldn’t really break away from his grip… and you didn’t want to anger him, so you let him hold you close and gently rock you.

Feitan

Feitan already is absolute garbage with intimacy, so it’s rare he’ll initiate anything. He’s both insecure and emotionally distant, but also longs for your affection and physical touch.

But he also HATES physical touch… so being his darling is a confusing experience where you’re constantly walking on eggshells.

The rare instances when he tries to be intimate with you, you almost leap with joy. He’s the only other human you have physical contact with, and you’ve almost gone crazy without touch and affection.

He’s very insecure and sensitive to rejection, so when he touches you, even if it’s just subpar, you praise him endlessly with soft whimpers and moans. He’s pretty skilled with his fingers considering he was a virgin before he met you.

So when he’s got his hands on your hips and ready to push his cock into your pretty pussy, instead of the usual happy whines you make… you instead whimper and shy away from him.

He’s tortured many people, so he can recognize the signs of a panic attack easily. You don’t know what came over you, but you just started to break down, crying and rocking yourself.

Feitan froze up, not knowing what to do. He’s not used to comforting others, and he already feels the harsh sting of rejection from your reaction. Was he that bad?

But… he’s able to push that away. He puts a blanket over your naked form and gently rubs your back while looking the other way.

“… don’t have to. Just say when don’t want it.”

And that’s all you get. He doesn’t kiss away your tears or clean you up… but it’s a big step forward. For Feitan, comforting another human being is hard, so the fact he’s trying for you proves that you mean something to him.

[b14augrana]

The Death Of You

The pursuit to being the greatest of all time comes above everything, including your health

Barça Femení x reader

masterlist

Warnings: slight overshadowing of injury

A/N: edited this author’s note way too many times buttttttt im not making a pt 2 of this because its just a silly little blurb that’s been rotting in my drafts and thats i wanna say okay thanks enjooooyyyyy

“When you think of passion, you think of someone that does anything for their club, and that’s (Y/N). The blaugrana is everything to her, and it is a part of her. She puts the badge before herself, and all she emits, all they admire of her, everything she represents, is Barça.

(Y/N) is Barça, Barça is (Y/N)” — Mapi León.

For Barça, you would give your life. You have put your body on the line and taken the hits until your skin turns the colours of the jersey you truly believe you’ll die in.

It’s what your mother says will eventually kill you. Going down with the jersey, for the jersey, your love for the greatest club in the world coming before all. It’s proof, almost, that Barcelona is so great, it’s worth dying for.

But, the funny thing is, you hadn’t loved living in Barcelona growing up. In fact, you hated everything about it. It felt like an asylum or some sort of confinement where the only things left to stare at are the four walls you’re enclosed by, except, those four walls were littered with posters of men you constantly watched play at the stadium of your dreams, and the only thing that made staring at those four walls so much of a punishment is the fact you were a girl and there was no such thing as a woman footballer.

You had shitty friends to remind you of that every single time they caught you stopping in the street (though you don’t even stop, your foot just drags along the ground a bit slower than usual) just to take a closer look at a mural of some Barça legend.

You hated living in Barcelona because you had nobody on your side that believed there was a place for you or any other woman behind the huge, towering walls of Camp Nou.

Barcelona went from being an asylum to a garden that was nurtured with every match played and goal scored, a title or medal sprouting from the buds of every stem and bush.

You would die for Barcelona. Hell was worth living through, for Barcelona, just to feel whatever emotion devoured you when you step out to a full stadium in the famous blue and garnet.

You want to be the best. That comes above everything — there is no point in devoting your life to something if you’re not going to be the best at it, and you had given more than what was required for Barça.

What you also want is to create a legacy not only for yourself, but the club as well, one title at a time. A legacy associated with winning, and being the greatest of all time. The last thing you need to implement this reputation? The Champions League.

You take in the stadium, the raindrop-covered grass, the noise. That headache inducing noise, caused by the record attendance in the stadium. The headache inducing noise that, when you focus on it, begins to become coherent and recognisable as the Barcelona anthem. With every step closer to the pitch, you find it harder to pay attention to anything around you, and the anxiety in your stomach is more apparent than ever before.

You kill the period of time between exiting the tunnel and finding your place on the field by warming up (or in other words, doing whatever you can to shake the nerves). You step out onto the pitch and feel the pinch of the cold wind which, for some reason, elicits an epiphany; the only thing separating you and that trophy is these 90 minutes.

Those 90 minutes drag on. Pass after pass, unsuccessful dribble after unsuccessful dribble, you’re not getting any closer to the goal but you can’t feel disheartened or unmotivated because all you have is 90 minutes. Everything can change in 90 minutes.

Everything does change. You don’t know how it happened, or who passed you the ball, or whether you even called for it, but you had it and you were moving quickly with it. Managing to glide past Renard, leaving her behind you to grapple at your jersey hopelessly, you find yourself up against Endler on your own.

Although there are 20 other players on the pitch, discarded behind you, it feels like it’s just you and Endler in an empty stadium. The goal looks bigger than it should be as your foot swings down onto the ball, and the raucous noise of the stadium can only intensify when the ball just misses the tip of Endler’s glove and meets the back of the net.

It is hard to ignore the unfamiliar discomfort in your knee, but you do it anyways. You run off to celebrate and don’t pay it another thought. You don’t mention it to anyone amidst the celebrations because how could you possibly ruin this moment, and it’s basically gone by the time you return to the midfield.

For a moment, there's hope. Your goal sparks new light into the eyes of your teammates. One golden boot shines brighter than a golden glove and there's a connection between your foot and the ball that just makes sense, and it's put away in the back of the net.

But when the ball starts rolling again and it meets the feet of Van de Donk, you realise 1 goal isn't enough.

No, it's like hanging off the edge of a cliff, fingers clawing for whatever jagged edge of a rock they can reach, clinging onto the little thing you have keeping you up. But with every minute, every intercepted pass, missed or deflected shots, the cliffside is crumbling.

Lyon is an exceptional team. That's why they manage to put one past Sandra, and you're back to square one. Your mind, drunk on pride, pushes you to do more, to give more. Your body feels like it can't possibly give anything more, yet you still run up and down the pitch without slowing down once and you throw yourself at the ball every time you find the opportunity.

It’s what your mother says will eventually kill you.

So it does, internally. When the final whistle pierces your ears and the minority of Lyon fans in the crowd burst into cheers, it kills you, because you would die for this club and it hurts to come so close but fall short.

The winning legacy you were so close to completing, was now tainted by your failure to actually win.

Your knee also hurts. A lot.

You lie down on the pitch, its soggy and uneven surface being the only comfort you have in this place where everywhere you look, there are reminders that you’re not good enough. The more you think about all the sacrifices and things you put on the line for this title, you wonder, ‘When’s it gonna be my turn?’

Disappointed fans filing out of the exits, your teammates surrounding you trying to hold in their tears, the dancing and celebrating from Lyon.

The sound of sniffles can be heard from beside you, and you roll over to see Mapi, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks dusted with patches of red.

As you line up to receive your medal, you don’t even want to wear it. Silver will never be better than gold, there’s nothing good about being second to best, being outperformed is nothing to be proud of. But you still keep the medal on.

You hang your head and look away from the winner’s stage, because your heart is too sore to take in the fact that would’ve, could’ve, should’ve been you.

‘When’s it gonna be my turn?’

[phntmeii]

♡ Dating Brahms Heelshire Headcanons:

❝ Come back! I'll be good! I will! ❝

[SFW+NSFW + No Gendered Terms]

NSFW Section Warnings: Stalking, Secret Voyeurism, Somnophilia, Non-Con, Dom/Sub Dynamics

A/N: Different fandom but same styled headcanons :) Brahms rattles around in this dome of mine nearly everyday so he had to be next. Also, first time doing NSFW headcanons so the writing may seem awkward just bc it’s slightly uncomfortable to write lmao

SFW Headcanons:

> Brahms's Main Love Languages to give are: Physical Touch and Quality Time.

> Brahms is obviously very clingy and needy. You can find him to be attached at the hip with you at all times.

> It doesn’t need to even be something important but he’ll be hugging you, holding your hand. Something. ANYTHING. So long as he’s by your side.

> He’s simply happy to be beside you because you’re his favorite person in the whole world!

> Now, this is where his bratty behavior can come out. If you brush him off or not reciprocate his excitement, he’ll pout and whine that he should be given your attention.

> Brahms will match his schedule to yours to ensure that he spends as much time as possible with you! Occasionally he’ll stay up for later but normally he doesn’t want to miss out on any chance while you’re awake.

> Incredibly possessive over you and insists you never leave him. He has massive separation anxiety and is incredibly nervous when you ask to leave to do some chores.

> When you get back, better believe he is NOT letting go of you for a good while. “Please don’t leave me again! You can never do that again! Stay with me here! Please!”

> I 100% believe that any source of romantic interactions that he’s gotten is from romance books. He pictures himself as the knight in shining armor and will try and mimic things he’s read in books.

> Cue him trying to hype himself up to offer you a flower from the garden to which you’re wondering why you have several weeds in your hands now at 8:00AM.

> He definitely cannot cook or clean but seeing you do it will encourage him to want to help you out because he wants to be useful.

> He ended up burning his finger on the pan and cried at the pain for an hour and insisting he needed to be kissed better.

> He also watches you as you get ready for the day with pure admiration. His eyes sparkle while you do skincare, makeup, put on jewelry or do your hair.

> He then will ask if you can do the same to him. (Do his hair or skincare, etc.) Brahms will keep happily still and follow each instruction you give so he can look just as good as you do!

> It takes a long while before he ever considers pulling off his mask. Whenever he gets food from you, he immediately runs off to go eat it so you can’t see him without his mask on. If you help him bathe, he will firmly insist his mask stays on.

> After some time, if you ask again, he’ll hesitate but give a slight nod to encourage you to remove it.

> If you shower him in affection and praise at seeing his face, he’ll be wide-eyed and stunned asking if you really mean it then pull you into a bear hug.

> Brahms's Favorite Love Languages to receive are: Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.

> Brahms obviously feels most loved when he's taken care of. His needs need to be tended to regularly or else he feels as though he's being ignored or has done something wrong to have deserved such treatment.

> Cooking for him, bathing him, brushing his hair, cleaning his mask, etc. are things he'll happily watch you do with pure love in his eyes.

> And obviously because of his childlike nature and insecurities, he needs to be complimented and reassured often.

> He'll get all giddy and excited accompanied by slight stimming when he's complimented. It's like you can tell when he's blushing under his mask just by how openly he reacts.

NSFW Headcanons:

> When you first arrive as a nanny to take care of Brahms and he begins developing his obsession with you, he’ll find it more comfortable to watch you while you sleep.

> He’ll start by just watching from inside the walls, then to being in the room, then to sitting at the bedside, then finally, he’ll work himself up to touching you.

> He keeps gentle to not wake you but he gets excited by the opportunity to be this close to you and touch at your soft belly and chest. He fears you waking up so he’ll only caress your body for a bit before slinking back into the walls.

> Definitely has several peepholes all across the manor to get off to you. He finds it difficult to keep quiet. You swear sometimes you could hear some breathing somewhere in the manor but you can’t place it.

> Occasionally, you’ll find your clothing missing. It would take a bit to notice since it’s one or two things but you take to notice your laundry seemed more full than you last saw it and your drawers can be messier than how you left it.

> Once you’re comfortable with the actual Brahms, he’ll straight up ask to have your clothing for… “personal reasons”.

> Firmly believe he has no idea how sex works. His parents, once he was an adult, gave him magazines to scroll through but that isn’t an instruction manual to do anything. So you need to teach him how most of it works and what feels good and also what aftercare is.

> To keep all his needs satisfied, he was gifted one of those dolls. Y’know? It’s a miracle he hasn’t broken the damn thing with how aggressive he can be.

> Remember those stolen clothing items? Guess what doll is dressed in them.

> The doll he has customized best he can to look like you and he’ll use it while dreaming and fantasizing what it would be like to use you the same way.

> I know he’s commonly accepted to be a pure sub but I think he’s a switch (sub-leaning). He does want to please and have someone take control which is why he’ll let you take the reins most of the time.

> But, get him worked up enough or he’s getting close? He’s changing positions quick and fucking you hard and fast without restraint.

> Like—Doggy style while his arms are wrapped around you to keep you in place as he desperately pounds into you.

> He enjoys hearing praise for when he’s doing well. His eyes will look up to yours for confirmation that he’s doing what you asked for.

> It’s pure praise for him. Bby boy cannot handle degradation because he’ll take it seriously and be put off. So obvious pet names like being considered your “good boy” or a slew of other sweet names like “baby”, “honey”, “sweetheart” or “love”.

> Brahms is the type to not last long or for the average time but have insane recharge speed. Like he can go five times a day until he’s crying from sensitivity.

> If he’s straight up frustrated, he does not hesitate to just bend you over the nearest surface, yank your clothing off and fucking you to oblivion. He struggles with restraint if you couldn’t tell.

> He’d enjoy doing that in every part of the house by the way. Just to be reminded anywhere that he’s at of what your body looks like.

> CLINGS onto you like never before once you guys are done and puddled in sweat. Aftercare consists of telling him how good he was while he worships your body and apologizes if he's hurt you or went too hard.

⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune