#so I thought I'd combat some of that and put a bit of positivity in the trans tags

[chaos-in-one]

This is for my fellow trans people. You all are amazing <3

[lindseymcdonaldseyelashes]

what do you think eliot would be like in the buffyverse… a remorseful ensouled vampire like angel? one of the more human-like/sentient demon species or a half-demon, like lorne or doyle, who uses the usual demon strength & abilities to do his, uh, retrieval work? a human who may have come across the supernatural through his work? a different role? i think the leverage crime world & the supernatural world that (somewhat) secretly exists among humans in btvs/ats are quite similar in some ways, the leverage team could fit into the buffyverse pretty easily

I love this ask, thanks so much for sending it!

My very first thought is that he'd be introduced to the world of demons by being hired as a retrieval specialist/hired muscle for the the Watchers' Council. They'd very quickly recognize his aptitude and insight, not just in combat, but in understanding the workings of the demon world in general. He's a quick learner, and more than willing to put in the research. The way he handles himself would definitely clash with the very stuffy, very English nature of the council, but he'd be too invaluable to punish or keep out of action for too long.

I like to think he'd eventually get promoted to the position of Watcher himself, especially as the traditional council is disbanded and all of the slayers are activated. I'd love to see his dynamic with the young slayers, and I think he'd see himself reflected in them. They're basically kids (and we know how Eliot is with kids), and I think he'd have the patience to bring out the best of them, while having the field experience to never give off the impression of being an armchair expert.

Also I love the idea of slayers thinking he's a little bit stuffy and uncool, always wearing his glasses and with his hair tied back, but then there's a situation where he needs to step into the fray to assist and he lets it all loose and they go, "Wait, Eliot is hot?!?"

[wolfstarshipping]

I’m in a reading slump, do you have any good fics that you can recommend me?

Hi, thanks for asking lovely anon! I've thought about this and I have several different approaches on how to answer your ask, so this'll be a longer list, I hope you find something you like!

First category: Texting Fics!

I love text fics because they're usually very fast-paced and easy to read, so I think they might be a good way to combat a reading slump!

You could either go with the iconic Text Talk by merlywhirls (141.250 words), a boarding school AU with a home-schooled, chronically ill Remus, a true classic and the fic that started the whole wolfstar texting fic trend back in the day!

Or, one of my personal favorites from the same era for purely nostalgic reasons, aesthetic: trash boys by Emaly/merlywhirls (89.473 words, everyone is super queer, strong chosen family vibes, with an HIV positive Remus and genderqueer Sirius).

Or if you want a modern text fic classic, there's always Staying Strangers by 3amAndCounting (319.368 words, university AU, this is one of those fics I've reread a couple of times already, just because I love it so much, especially the texting in the beginning).

Snow In June by BrigidFaye (25.561 words) is a magical AU set in the US that also has some texting elements, even though it's not as text-heavy as the fics mentioned above, but the worldbuilding and the setting is wonderful, and lumberjack Remus is everything I ever needed in my life!

Dear Your Holiness by @mollymarymarie (142.264 words) is a priest AU and band AU, with a bit of texting, though this one is also already kind of moving into the next category of fics mentioned below. Obviously the whole catholic priest theme is not going to be for everybody, but if you think you might enjoy that, I highly recommend it, it's so, so good! And if you don't think you'll enjoy the themes of this fic, check out literally any other fic by mollymarymarie, I think at this point I've read almost all of them and enjoyed every single one I read immensely!!

Alright, so now the next category is fics with plots that will get you out of any reading slump:

I've recently become obsessed with @lynxindisguise's fics, so I'd also recommend checking out all of them, but since I've mostly recommended longer fics on this list so far, I'll go with a shorter one: in the dark, there is discovery (11.796 words) is a wonderful pirate AU that you can easily read in one evening, and it has beautiful world building, Remus Lupin as a seamonster and my new favorite trope - there was only one hammock.

Let Me Get What I Want (This Time) by Sierra_Sitruc (69.878 words) is a plot-driven and amazing fix-it-fic, that I keep thinking about even months after I've read it, and that had me stay awake at ungodly hours just because I couldn't put it down and wanted to know how it ended!

The Bent by @ebp-brain (40.257 words) is an incredible fic about queer lives, politics and art, oppression and resistance, so if any of those things sound like something you'd enjoy I highly recommend reading it, I always love earlybloomingparentheses' writing, it's so, so beautiful and powerful!

take me as i am (48.494 words) has one of the most unique settings I've ever read - it features Sirius as an (adorable) sleep demon, who is supposed to give Remus nightmares, and I also love the way this fic depicts various mental illnesses.

In saccharine by moonymoment (26.447 words) Sirius is a ghost haunting Remus's apartment, and this is another one of those fics I keep thinking about because it was just so so good.

full moon twofold by renaissance (12,031 words) is a Gothic-romance style AU and an incredible take on the question "what if Remus never went to Hogwarts?".

And now maybe a few shorter fics:

The first rec in this category is not even a specific fic but just a tumblr account: @wolfstarmicrofic, if you scroll through their blog you'll find lots and lots of really short fics which might just be what you need to get back into reading!

In You, I Count Stars by @wolfpants (1.540 words) is a wonderful hogwarts-era oneshot set in the Astronomy Tower with a pining Sirius.

It's Cold Outside by Remustrash (1.788 words) is a very fluffy and cosy there-was-only-one-bed fic, featuring the most oblivious of all oblivious puppies!

June, and Other Natural Disasters by montparnasse (5.524 words) is a beautifully written fic that made me feel all the feels and has great summer vibes!

Okay and the last category is fics with A+ vibes that'll make you forget all about your reading slump:

The Long Way Home by @hollyivydruzy (177.337 words) is a university AU and the kind of fic I didn't want to ever end, because the characters felt so incredibly real, and it's so easy to get completely immersed and lost in their wonderful, chaotic world and follow along on all their university adventures.

this desperate in love by drowsyanddazed (20.776 words) is a very cute high school AU, and reading it felt like watching a coming of age / teen movie in the best kind of way!

wading in waist-high water by @colgatebluemintygel (82.060 words) is a Great British Bake-Off AU that features Remus as a contestant and and Sirius as a host who's thirsting after Remus, and I just love the whole setting and atmosphere of the fic, as well as the writing! And this fic's Arthur Weasley needs to be protected at all costs, I love him a lot!

A Brief History of Dragons by @eyra (23.488 words) is an incredibly cosy and wonderful modern AU set in Cornwall, I absolutely ADORE Remus in this fic and love the way his and Sirius's relationship slowly develops, this fic has such a special place in my heart.

Alright I think I could keep going and add to this list forever but I'll stop now, let me know if you read any of these, and I hope they'll end your reading slump! x

[reflectingravens]

Had fun today doing an exploit thingie with Nere on PS5. I live under a rock, so this was the first time I'd heard of how to do it since console players still can't replace companions with NPCs 😭 Thought I'd share in case there's other console players also living under a rock... Details below!

It's probably old news to many, so sorry in advance, but I saw it in this reddit post I found the other day (originally posted to show how to ‘recruit’ Kar’niss) all you need is a Druid hireling and a mage/someone to cast Polymorph.

So I tried it on Nere and with a bit of tweaking, lots of saving and persistence, it works! I play on PS5 and while no mods are needed, I found using the cheaters ring to have all the positive thingies helped and reduced the time/save scumming.

What I did:

It’s essentially the same as in the Kar’niss post I linked, so familiarise yourself with the steps and spells. Before you free Nere from the rockfall, make sure all the duergar are dead (it’s just easier really) and make sure you’ve recruited the Druid hireling, Danton. He needs to be on level 7 before he’ll learn Dominate Beast so mods might be needed to artificially level him up. I ended up giving him his own cheaters ring and toggling the positive roll thingies otherwise Nere will succeed aaaaaall the throws and it’s just annoying. 

If you don’t have a mage, make sure you have a scroll of Polymorph. This is where the cheaters ring comes in handy cos you can summon the cheaters box of scrolls. 

Once you’re ready and set up, make a save. 

Blast the rockfall and let the cutscene play out.

As soon as you get the chance, choose to attack Nere (I know, I’m sorry, this was painful for me to select 😔) Don’t actually attack him though! He needs to not be an ally for Dominate Beast to work!

Get your party to flee combat. You’ll all end up in camp.

Exit camp, you should appear far enough away that you won’t get attacked.

Have someone cast Greater Invisibility (I had Astarion do it, since the Druid needs to concentrate on Dominate Beast and someone else needs to do Polymorph).

Return to where Nere is. He should just be standing at the cleared rockfall. He doesn’t move around the area.

Save again!

Enter turn-based mode.

Cast Polymorph.

Switch to the Druid hireling and cast Dominate Beast.

Switch to your character, exit turn-based mode and immediately go to camp. If you have trouble at any stage, just experiment with turn-based and what you cast/do while in it.

Tell the Druid in camp to “wait for me in camp” then immediately tell him to “follow me”. You need to be very quick with this step! If it doesn’t work, just reload and keep trying. It took me about 3 tries all up.

If you’re successful, Nere’s icon will appear next to the Druid’s and you’ll see him run past you! Woo!

You can exit camp now and Nere will be in your party as the Druid’s follower.

This is very important, but you MUST NOT TALK TO NERE AT ALL NOW! If you do, his cutscene will play out and most of it will be glitched as in you’ll be having a silent conversation with the Druid hireling mixed in with some dice rolls when you convince Nere to return to Lolth or whatever. If you go through with talking to him like usual, he will disappear once you leave Grymforge but his icon will still be next to the Druid’s and outlined in purple.

Going to camp and long resting is fine, Nere just stands off to the side like a weirdo while everyone sleeps. Talking to the gnomes is also fine, but if in doubt, just save, save, save!

Unfortunately you can’t clean the big, dirty drow at all, so you’ll just have to put up with his grubbiness 😂 You can control him though and run around with him like you would with a summons. He’s pretty slow 😂

Interestingly, he has his attacks available to him like he does when you fight him. He’s only on level 5 though so you’ll need to be careful you don’t accidentally get him killed 💀

Ok that’s it! I’m really sorry if this is already known but I’m hardly online and I just now saw this method 💀 Plus as I said, on console, we still can’t replace a companion with an NPC 😭😭 so I was very excited to try this! It’s not perfect but at least you can have Nere follow along with you like a big, silent (and dirty) puppy! ❤️

(Bonus video of me running around like an idiot cos I was so excited it worked)

[holybasementdweller]

Divorcesteal relationships question!

Some relationships on the server are mostly about the queerbaiting and personal affection. Some are more political/combat/team oriented. With the rest in a spectrum between.

In character question: Of all your relationships on the server which do you think are closest to the two ends of this spectrum?

Ooc question: do you plan/negotiate/encourage the two kinds of relationships differently?

Very interesting question and boy oh boy.

DIVORCERS NO PEEKING

--------------------------------------------------------------

So first off: All my relationships are. Relatively complicated. Being one of the strongest fighters puts me in an odd position where people are almost always at least a little bit afraid or wary of me, minus Cog. Maybe? I don't know, he's rather good at keeping up a poker face.

.......they should probably be more afraid. Only a few people really register what my whole "war background" means in terms of the shit I'm capable of, from a mental/sacrifices/how far I'll go standpoint.

I think my most personal-affection relationship is probably a tie between Seri, Ace, Sin, and Betty. All four of them are fully just not afraid of me, and no matter what awful things I do and/or consider (even if they don't necessarily agree with, say, murderin' someone in particular)- they're just there. Always. And they're also not afraid to tell me when I'm being a fucking moron or going too far. Which I appreciate. I don't think I'd ever be capable of intentionally hurting 'em unless I... go through with. A plan they don't like.

...recent events have changed some opinions. They don't *love* the plan, but I have more... agreement. I want to fucking rest, and I want to hurt some other people. It's going to hurt them too but. well.

Political/combat/team... I mean I guess most of the Thousand Suns people. Will and Jay, but I wouldn't throw Jay entirely on this end, because I do care for him quite a bit. I wish I'd helped them more when it came to how things fell apart in Atlahua. There was only so much I could do.

OOC, yeah, I do handle/negotiate them differently but also quite similarly. The "fierce loyalty" bit is something that's just kind of ingrained in me. It's not really a bit at all, just how I operate. The "war games" background I mention/reference made this a thing for me, I think. So in all these relationships, I'm always promising to do everything in my power to protect people, provide resources, supplies, aid, anything I am capable of for them. The only difference is that for the more personal relationships this means anything and at any point. I'll sacrifice plans or myself, hands down, no questions asked. And even if they don't want me to.

The other relationships that are more political... yes, I mean it when I offer assistance, but there are conditions. There are things I won't do. I put up more of a front of caring externally, try to hide the lingering paranoia and distrust. Once someone really proves they're worthy of it though, the front eventually falls away into being fully genuine. So right now, everything I am with Jay is fully genuine. In the beginning, it wasn't quite (especially given the timing, and there was a point where I thought Jay was the one messing with my dogs while I was online. I think looking back at it now, it was Evi or someone else), but now I'd throw myself in front of a blow for Jay unconditionally and without expecting reparations.

[hellospriggan]

Enjoyment

I am thinking a lot this week about the value of enjoying things. I'm coming off a bad week or two of mental health (existential dread about the state of the world and what it even means to be human anymore), and a few things these past few days really perked me up, so I want to think about that.

Monday was my & Jarod's thirteenth wedding anniversary. He got me an amazing album-- it was someone I hadn't heard before, but he thought I'd like it, and I instantly loved it. I love music, and it felt so nice that he had heard it and known I'd like it, and that he didn't even try to get me to listen to it beforehand to make sure-- he just went for it. He's always been anxious about getting me things like clothing or jewelry. It was one of the most thoughtful and touching gifts he's ever given me.

Roses! I'm trying to stay off Reddit, but my bestie sends me things from the gardening subreddit pretty often, and I usually end up scrolling through for a little bit. I keep taking screencaps of people's roses. Roses make me absolutely giddy. We are planning some backyard projects, and I am dyyyyyyiiiing for them to be done so that I can finally plant some roses.

Dolls. Every couple of years I go on this obsessive kick about dolls. I once printed out like a fifty page tutorial on sculpting ball jointed dolls from scratch (god, back when there were still written/illustrated instructions instead of YouTube videos, those were the days) but never got around to making one. Or buying any. Anyway.

I was a 90s kid and my biggest toy loves at that age were My Little Pony, Barbie (and all of Mattel's Disney dolls, because it was still Mattel at that point), and stuffed animals. I'm really fortunate in that my parents kept everything-- all of those toys are still safely packed in my dad's attic. I checked on everything a few years ago and was unprepared for how giddy I felt after finding mermaid furniture. There is something about those plastic accessories that transports me. Small and beautiful. Precious.

I think it's valid to be cynical about capitalism, and marketing to children and getting them to constantly want new things, but I think there's also a beauty in recognizing that someone, somewhere, got to live their dream and actually design those dolls and their accessories. Some of them are legit just so beautiful and thoughtfully made. Children need toys, they need books, they deserve for those things to be beautiful and special.

This is all a very long-winded way of getting to the point that I've had a life long appreciation of dolls, and that got kicked into high gear this week. I had this idea of getting a few dolls and modifying them to look like my OCs, to help with posing and drawing. And then. I found one and I audibly gasped aloud because her face made me think of Gideon, as I'm currently rereading Gideon the Ninth, and then that spiraled into "what if I outfitted her to look like Gideon, and also made Harrow" and THAT spiraled into a positively embarrassing amount of time spent on eBay looking at Barbie sized combat boots. And then of course I found other dolls that were gorgeous. Someone save me.

So then last night I was thinking of my various collections, and that I've been confounded about how to display things, and is there a point in collecting if it's just going to live in a box in my dad's attic? It feels a little depressing and wasteful. And for the first time ever, I thought: why does it all have to be out at the same time? What if I had one small shelf, and every month I picked different things to put out on it together? I would be going through my collections, engaging and interacting with them and getting that delicious little dopamine kick. I literally fell asleep making mental lists of potential themes: strawberry, roller skates, cats.

So yeah that's my TED talk about dolls, I'll keep you posted on The Shelf because I'm really excited about this idea. And about Gideon & the midnight hagette.

[thatoldstandby]

Games What I Played May 2k25

My next few days are gonna suck, so there's 0 chance of me playing something new, so I may as well do my monthly wrap up. Before that starts, what's this, some wild links approach. January! February! March! April!

CARRYOVER GAMES

Trails from Zero

I ended up hyperfocusing on this juuuuust a bit and actually completed it. Total time of about 43 hours. Turns out, it’s great. I've grown to love the Trails games, and in particular their heavy focus on characters and characterization. Trails from Zero is the first step away from Liberl and the Sky cast established in the Trails in the Sky trilogy, so as a focal shift it could have easily fucked up in a lot of ways. Luckily, it’s set in the Zemurian country I’m most interested in as a setting (Crossbell), and it’s super strong as an introduction to that nation. Plus, the new characters are all excellent and the game somehow does this thing where you spend just enough time with the new characters that when the returning characters start sneaking in they feel fresh and interesting. You really see what the returners look like from a fresh eyed, relatively weak team. It's great. On the whole, I think I may prefer the cast of Sky, but that’s also a function of having spent three games with them in the first place.

I do have a couple problems with Zero. First, the ending of Zero felt kind of rushed. I didn't hate it, it made sense in the setting and with the pacing of the story, and if it hadn't all coalesced like it did at the end I'd probably have a few more issues with it, but I feel like the late stage reveal could have been given a bit more room. The second problem is the fact that it is a cop drama. Now, admittedly, it's a cop drama where you're playing The Good Ones, in a group that's based on the Bracer organization that runs throughout the series, which means they are explicitly community focused and based on doing work for the populace, but they're still cops. There's a lot of thought and emphasis put into the depiction of the corruption that's at the heart of Crossbell and it's unique position in the world and how your characters deal with it, but they're still cops. Like, I'm not exactly the most revolutionary of anyone I know, but even I can recognize that that's an issue. That said, I do love that new Crossbell cast so much, and I will always support when characters are trying to do good despite the system they live in. Also, special shout outs to the side characters; so many of them are so good, especially the theatre troupe.

Good time all around. Also of note, I haven’t done NG+ on a Trails game before; I felt like I largely cleared out FC and SC, and I did everything I cared to see in Third, but I missed out a ton in Zero based on the numbers. So I may NG+ that before heading on to Azure.

Final Fantasy XIV

Her ass is not taking a selfie, that camera is not on. She does not know how to work a tomestone.

NEW GAMES

Like a Dragon: Pirate Yakuza in Hawaii

Hey, finally wrapped it. I don’t have any more to add beyond saying that I finished it. My previous musings were pretty accurate to how i felt throughout the thing. Maybe I should have tried to meet it in it’s place more, but I just couldn’t get there at the end of the day. It’s fine. The ending was fine; I liked the framing device they used. It’s worth playing. It’s a lot of fun to play, which is kind of shocking since, if I’m being charitable, Yakuza action combat hasn’t been great in the past. But now it’s great. Maybe next time it’ll be attached to a plot I care about more than not at all. OH WAIT FUCK so Matt Mercer kind of totally killed it as Majima? I'm genuinely surprised; he really brought a lot of the tone and inflection that Majima has into his voice over. Really well done, an absolute standout. ANOTHER AFTER THOUGHT; this game had the single worst half hour of any Yakuza game. Literal torture. Nevermind anything good I said about this game zero out of ten.

Skin Deep

This is super interesting. I like it; but I don’t think I love it. It’s a new Blendo joint, and it’s essenbtially a first person version of Heat Signature, the second game in the Defenestration Trilogy that I love. I don’t really love Heat Signature; mostly because it’s the most narrative-light of the trilogy. There’s a lot of systemic fun to be had, but super story light. My feelings are basically the same with Skin Deep. Here, you play a character who’s job is to go onto space ships that have been captured by pirates and rescue the cat crew, then escape. To rescue those cats, you have to steal/find cat keys from the armed and dangerous pirates in whatever way possible and free the cats from their captivity. Guns and explosives are a rarity, so the game forces you to be creative and use all the tools and systems available to you. And it’s *great* as a stealth immersive sim. I love the loop of seeing a thing, making a plan to get that thing, beginning to execute the plan to get that thing, and then immediately fucking it up and having to improvise a way out of the situation while also maybe getting the thing. It’s great, highly suggested if you love stealth games or immersive sims. Or Blendo games in general; the Blendo-vibes are strong in the narrative, light though it is

Ok that's it. No more games. Come back in a month. I'll be sad, and have played more game in the meanwhile.

[evilbeanieman]

YTTD Main Cast as RPG Classes

Sara- Knight. She's known as the samurai woman, I mean, what's the western equivalent of a samurai? She's got the whole justice and honor thing going for her too.

Joe-Squire. He's essentially Sara's support and travel buddy. He basically is her support for the entire first chapter, and we can see that she depends on him from time to time to help her get through things. Every knight needs a squire, and Joe would be pretty great at it, I think.

Kai- Assassin. This one is kind of a no-brainer if you ask me. Although, given that Kai hasn't been able to kill anyone, I would say he's got the skills of an assassin but probably keeps the front of being an Inn Keeper or Servant.

Keiji-Royal Guard. Considering Keiji's past in the force, it would make sense to put him in a similar position. Since he's quit that however, I'd say he lays low as a commoner with the skills of a trained guard.

Shin-Shop Keeper/Wizard's Apprentice. Shin has no physical capabilities whatsoever, but I imagine that would be balanced by an extremely high affinity with magic. Though he lacks complete proper training since his mentor..."disappeared" a while ago. Since then, he's been working as a shop keeper and studying magic on the side.

Kanna-Witch (Botanical magic). Okay yeah this is somewhat inspired by her death in chapter 2. Though she does go through a lot of character growth in the game, so pairing her with plants isn't too out there. Additionally I think it would also match since Shin has an affinity for magic, so it'd make sense that his sister does as well.

Gin-Werebeast/Fae. Kind of another obvious one. I would like to think Gin is like a kemonomimi, probably one of a wolf or even dogcat hybrid. Considering his sometimes wild nature, and love for animals, he'd definitely be a child of the forest. The fae part is mainly since he likes to be a bit mischievous and silly.

Qtaro-Barbarian. I mean, Gin's nickname for him is literally "muscle gorilla," I don't think you can get any more raw strength than this class. I would think Qtaro is a part of some guild of fighters or adventurers and had a team he would do bounties with.

Reko-Bard. Another obvious choice. I don't think I need to explain much here, as she is a performer. Though I'd say she's definitely more of a physical attacker than most bards, but still has powerful magic in her tunes.

Alice-Bard/Outlaw. Similar to Reko. His magical music isn't as strong as hers, leading him to attack physically more often. Although ever since one fatal encounter, he's been on the run. Now he tries to rely solely on his strength, as to not draw too much attention with music that might sound familiar...

Nao-Witch (Painting magic). Again a bit of an obvious choice. She can bring some of her drawings to reality, although it takes quite the amount of magic. She has more training and control over her magic thanks to studying under Mishima.

Mishima-Scholar/Potion Seller. Mishima wouldn't really be a fighter, instead being the knowledgeable scholar you could come to when in need of information...or potions, if you're strong enough for them, that is. The potion seller bit I think would aid in his "mad scientist" kind of vibe in the og game, but also because I thought the idea was funny.

BONUS ROUND

Midori- Necromancer. We all know this is the obvious choice for him. I'd say that while his main focus is necromancy, he'd also specialize in other magic so he can keep it a secret. That doesn't mean his experiments are hidden well, however.

Maple- Homunculus. She would be the result of one of Midori's experiments gone...wrong? Right? An incredibly powerful being made of magic, capable of transforming her body when engaged in combat. Also, she is madly in love with him. Imagine a sort of "Dr. Frankenstein and his monster" kind of relationship between the two, where instead of the monster hating the creator, she's super lovey dovey to him.

[akirakirxaa]

Final Thoughts on Dawntrail

Final thoughts on MSQ. There are some positives that I will open with, but as I do have many criticisms and overall did not have as good of a time as I've had in other expacs, I will put it under a break. This will also be quite long.

I will start off by listing some of the things I enjoyed. I liked the overall themes of found and adoptive family, as well as family in general. Most of the plot threads and cutscenes around these themes tended to be quite good. I will admit, I bawled like a baby when they introduced baby Gulool Ja to Koana. I also very much enjoyed the plot revolving around the milalla and honestly wish there were more; I love Erenville's mom a lot as a character, but I feel like she took up comparatively a lot of narrative space when Krile's parents were much more plot relevant. I also liked Bakool's character arc as I'm just a sucker for the bully becoming a big well meaning lug. This is another plot I wish we'd gotten more about since, once we left the woods, we never see him outside of combat again; I'd have liked to see him struggling to connect with the people in non-life threatening situations and learning to not react to everything with violence.

Unfortunately, that is the end of what I actually enjoyed without a "but" that isn't "I'd have liked more". I am so sorry, but by the time I got to the end I did not like Wuk Lamat anymore. The sheer amount of time we spend with her and the sheer amount of that time spent on the same exact speech again and again grated by the end. There were some moments where she really shone though, and that's why I'm putting this to poor writing and misuse of her character than her character actually being bad. I loved her in the whole bit with Zarool Ja, and during the Rite it was fine because her learning to grow up was the point. Which leads to the second thing I really did not like; that we existed to be a camera for her story. 99% of the story could have happened even were we not there, and the last 1% is honestly iffy. I understand letting her have her time, and despite finding it excruciatingly dull to my tastes, the rite was fine and she should take point during it since it's to test her abilities. But...there was not one moment where we got to be the hero. Not one. Hell, in several cutscenes I could barely even see my character because it's her show the whole time. Even at the end, where it finally matters that we're here, because we have the magic crystal that lets us call backup and stay and fight...it still didn't, because she just broke into the fight anyways. Once again, we might as well not even be there.

"Well what's the problem with that!" I hear you cry, and the problem with that is this is a Final Fantasy. I'm here to play the protagonist. I'm not here to control the camera while the writer's NPC does everything. She can be the main character of the expac, but I should not be able to remove my character entirely and have everything go the exact same way. Literally any scion could've done the same things we did while we drank on the beach and nothing would change. A great example of this was when Gulool Ja Ja was killed. Not only did we just stand there and not even attempt to interfere (this could have been a good moment to push the difference of another culture by having an ally stop the WoL), we barely had any reaction at all to it and were covered up most of the time by NPCs. At that point, just have us not be there, have us out protecting civilians and we arrive too late. We've had cutscenes from other PoVs before where we show up right at the end (for good or ill) so no excuse.

I very much did not like any of the plot around Alexandria and Living Memory. It strikes me as that meme of "can I copy your homework?" "Sure, just change it a little so it doesn't look the same". Tell me if you've heard this one before. Immortal being, unable to bear loss, creates a city full of the memories of their lost loved ones in a recreation of their former home. They want to sacrifice the people of the Source to restore these loved ones. When we try to reason with them, they tell us that they cannot give up on their fallen loved ones and refuse to move on. They show us their memories of their loved ones in their former home. At the end, they turn into a big damn monster that we fight. We're close to losing when an ally falls from the sky to our aid. When we win, they ask us to remember.

It's knock off brand Shadowbringers.

Not to mention it seriously feels like the writer forgot while doing Living Memory that, not only does no one remember these people we're erasing, but their souls were eaten so that people can not worry about, idk, falling pianos and such. These people literally just do not exist anymore and we are now the only people who remember them. What's worse, there are probably millions more people we didn't get to meet that we still erased, so they're just gone forever. That's...literally the opposite of the plot of Ultima Thule from EW. We, in this case, are playing the role of Meteion, and not a single Endless seems to have an opinion on it outside of Erenville's mother and Krile's parents.

Never mentioning Dynamis really bugged me too. I was kinda hoping that Wuk Lamat's "specialty", the thing that set her apart, was maybe she was just very good at subconsciously wielding dynamis, letting her easily befriend others and draw greater strength when she needs it. But, like many many pieces of lore, it's never even suggested. In fact, if a piece of lore was in EW, you can almost guarantee it isn't mentioned. Like the boy with a lightning aether imbalance. We literally have the cure for that, but say nothing at all, not even to our allies when we meet back up. I'm hoping this will be addressed in a later patch since it was specifically pointed out (chekov's gun and all) but still. It felt over and over that things we learned in ShB and EW were glossed over at best or outright ignored at worst. The pacing of everything after the dome appeared was strange; some parts went too fast, then some went on forever.

Unfortunately, this comes in as my least favorite expac. Even below SB, which I famously dislike. I'm hoping moving forward we'll see some more interesting stories that once again require us to be present to be told, and I am curious about why the key bears Azem's symbol, but I will not be rushing to play through this expac again any time soon. And will most likely be tweaking the scenes in anything I write to make more sense, flow better, or actually require Akira's attention.

[capillaryspice]

Unpopular opinion rant incoming:

I did not enjoy Baldurs Gate 3

Before anything else I will admit I am biased, as strategy turn based games aren't something I'm usually into to begin with. I mostly ended up playing it because my partners and a friend are SUPER into the game and wanted to do a 4 player run. I do have 30 hours on a solo run I tried to get used to the game with, so I have a decent bit of experience with how it's supposed to run as a single player but I'm not judging companion stories or anything because I haven't completed them.

I do understand why people like BG3, and I don't wanna rain on anyone's parade for a very critically acclaimed game, but I do have some thoughts that I just need to get out of my head, so if you like the game and don't wanna hear me complain about it just scroll on ahead. If you do want to hear me complain, I'd love to hear if anyone else has had the same thoughts, because genuinely I've not really had anyone to talk to that hasn't been head-over-heels for it. (Actual thoughts under the cut)

-----------------

With that out of the way, for starters BG3 is a very impressive game. From a technical perspective, from a voice acting quality perspective, the sheer amount of tiny tiny details, etc... it is IMPRESSIVE. Too impressive, I'd almost have to say. Because, despite being impressed by it, I did not have FUN playing the game. For all its details it doesn't draw me in. For all the technical marvel, it's just too janky. It's all of the rules of DND and none of the immersion or fun

I would love to have had a functioning camera position that didn't give me whiplash whenever a new character in the combat of 20+ NPCs decides to do so much as shuffle to the left. It feels like pulling teeth when trying to select/interact with anything, god forbid a reaction happens while you're trying to attack and you just completely lose the action bc the interruption to movement pauses everything and screws u up. I'd love to be able to jump without going through two menu screens and a map to just hop over a gap(I'm never complaining about the Dark Souls jump being too complicated ever again). Also everything moves so slow, I would kill for a fucking Sprint button.

I would have liked anything approaching a streamlined combat system that didn't take a long ass time to set up a move that takes six seconds to play out, and then wait for ten minutes literally doing nothing while the rest of the NPCs in initiative whip the viewpoint around and get it stuck in walls and corpses so I can't even see what's happening while I can't do anything for the rest of the round

A lesser gripe, but just a bizarre choice to not do: Id like to hear the character voice I chose in character creation for cutscenes, instead of just background ambient lines. Like, if the last dragon age game (from 2014 mind you) can have a voiced main character with multiple voice options, this new game that has unique voice lines for every goddamn squirrel on the map and ALREADY PAID VOICE ACTORS TO VOICE THE MAIN CHARACTER TO BEGIN WITH can probably afford to do so. Hell, I'd like some background music that isn't just the tenth rendition of Down By The River in a different key. The bard music is all gorgeous, why couldn't they have reused some of those compositions as ambient music for different locations?

This is a MASSIVE game, and what they've put into it is definitely admirable, but like. Not in the ways that make a game breathable or immersive? The choices in where they've decided to dedicate the anal level of detail seems misguided from a just general player standpoint; There's some gorgeous settings in the game, but I was distracted every time by getting frustrated that I couldn't even get a more-than-vague look at any of the scenery I actually enjoyed because the camera is so limited in its angles. So I can't take a good look around what should be a beautiful temple that I'd love to see closer, but I can individually inspect every moldy apple and tax form on a random dinner table instead. It's a vast open world, but the character models have very clearly defined paths they have to stay within. The amount of unique NPCs is insane, but the mechanics themselves TREAT them as NPCs(i.e., resurrection rules), and they don't react to PCs unless ur doing Violence or Crimes (even og skyrim had NPCs have comments on if u weren't like wearing clothes, for instance). Every shelf and bag and nook and cranny are searchable, but that gets overwhelming very quickly as you have to choose between taking like an hour of real time to clear a cluttered area and possibly find something important but more likely just end up with a bajillion rotten carrots, or move on but have the anxiety of knowing you've possibly missed something vital. There's a million options you can take at any moment with any object or character, but there's rarely anything indicating what will be vital later for general world stuff. But then with the main plot (the Emperor, Raphael, the crèche) it felt very railroaded in the sense that TECHNICALLY you could try and choose between outcomes, but your choices don't actually matter because you die if you choose The Wrong Option (or end up in effectively death sentence combat) and will end up where they want you to go regardless.

BG3 isn't a game I want to spend time playing; it's not a world I can wander around and appreciate the beauty of and get lost in the soundtrack or the environments. The whole combat system is incredibly frustrating to manage, and just feels like Hurry Up And Wait. I'm not gonna knock the romance parts of the game, I've heard good things and haven't gotten far enough in any of em to have an educated opinion on, so really the only thing the game has to offer in spades OTHER than romance is replayability. Which normally I would say is a good thing, but for how long of a game it is and how non immersive the gameplay and world feel, it really just ends up being a game of fucking around and seeing how many things you can get an alternate dialogue for or create new stats around. Like, this is great for completionist folks who love collecting achievements and making the most busted crunchy math-based builds possible, but Baldurs Gate 3 to me just isn't a game I can sit down and have Fun(TM) relaxing and playing.

It's a game that I feel absolutely missed the forest for the trees.

So anyways, essay complete. I've only slept like 6 hours total in the last three days so a lot of this may or may not even make sense. But on so much sleep deprivation finishing this game and realizing I was just frustrated with it instead of actually feeling accomplished for having finished it, it was the final straw and I just needed to get the thoughts down somewhere

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk

[onyx-archer]

Open World, Shallow Structure: A Look at Zelda and It's Future

Originally, I was going to make my next post about another Life is Strange game, but I've been in a bit of a Zelda mood thanks to playing around with the Ocarina of TIme/Majora's Mask Combo Randomizer, so I wanted to talk about the Zelda series for a minute. As the title would suggest, I wanted to talk about Zelda's current open world direction, why I'm not a fan, and where I think it could improve.

As this is more about game design and less about story, spoilers will be minimal, but present. Just assume that I'm expecting you to be familiar with most Zelda games and their stories, and that I'll mention things from them when I think it's relevant. I'm going to be citing things from the 3D Zelda titles especially, because 2D Zelda is a different beast, but I'll mention things about them when necessary to illustrate a point. I'll put this under the cut cause it's gonna be long, but I have a lot of thoughts.

I also want to say up front that if you like the modern style of Zelda seen in Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, that's great! You saw something in those games that I didn't, and I don't want to take that away from you! I just want to talk shop about Zelda's current struggle with game design as a fan who's been playing these games since they were like, 6.

With that, you know the drill, go under the cut if you wanna keep reading.

When I first played Breath of the Wild, I want to be real with y'all for a minute: I put it down after a few hours. I had basically gotten to the point where I was on my way to Zora's Domain, got side-tracked by some Shrines and other stuff, and got bored. What a lot of people see as an adventure full of wonder just felt like I was being side tracked by things that ultimately didn't matter. I've since beaten the game, and even 100%'d it, which is something I'd never recommend anyone sane do more than once.

Cards on the table: I haven't really touched Tears of the Kingdom in any real capacity yet. I watched some people play it, and asked a friend who is a diehard Zelda fan what he thought, and both things lead to the same conclusion: it's just Breath of the Wild 2.0. Which, I mean, duh, of course it was, that's a game that a lot of people liked, and so Nintendo would have to be pretty freaking dumb to not capitalize on that. Even I was initially positive about the choice, because I had thought that since they were going to be building off of the base of a game as beloved as BotW, that we'd see something like a "Majora's Mask" to BotW's "Ocarina of Time" in a lot of ways. In some ways, we got that, but in most ways where I think it mattered, we didn't.

So how can I judge a game I really haven't played? Well, it's built off of one I have played, so I can look at it through that lens. I can also take what I've heard from friends who have played it into consideration. With those things in mind, I've come up with a few core problems that I have with the current direction of Zelda that I hope are righted when the next game comes out in like, 7 years (cause let's be real, it's gonna be a long while before the next big game hits).

The Dungeons:

A big sticking point for a lot of more classic fans of the Zelda series that has yet to actually be remedied is the dungeons. More specifically, how the two most recent titles (not counting the Link's Awakening remake and the Skyward Sword remaster) don't really have tightly designed dungeons. I believe this is a consequence of the open-ended design, and the fact that the developers have leaned too hard into "solve the puzzles in any number of different ways" to allow for that tight design.

Zelda dungeons in the past, for the most part, are a combination of combat encounters and puzzle rooms, with a sense of exploration as you move through them. While I feel as though the combat aspect has been preserved to a degree, everything else is just lacking.

The combat in Zelda pre-Skyward Sword was pretty basic for the most part (just whacking guys with glorified sticks), and this is something that Breath of the Wild has objectively improved in a lot of ways. Combat just feels better, even if there's objectively a lot of jank when managing the inventory to swap between weapons. The only part of combat that is outright trash is the weapon degradation, which I'll cover later.

However, there is one thing that has been lost in this, and it ties into the puzzle element: boss fights.

Bosses in Zelda's past are basic in certain respects, but have layers that lean into the puzzle solving component of the game design. Usually, the bosses require you to play into the dungeon gimmick, which usually involves the tool you get in said dungeon, or in the lead up to the dungeon, which is the case for something like Bongo Bongo in Ocarina of Time. While sure, a lot of this leads to pretty obvious design quirks that make the bosses less challenging overall for some, and lead to mixed results as the series went on, the bosses did more than test your mettle, they tested you on the tools you have.

For every item that has limited use like the Spinner in Twilight Princess, there are items that have utility in ways beyond their dungeon of acquisition. This is typically for staples like the Bow, the Bombs, the Hookshot, etc, but it can also be for things like the Gust Jar or the Beetle from Skyward Sword. Yeah, they aren't as universally useful, but they are still useful, and can be used to add puzzle variety. Beyond just using the tool to exploit a weakness in the boss, they had other uses, and while some were definitely more limited than others, it was still some use.

Modern Zelda has decided that puzzles should be solvable in ways tied to the tools you get during the tutorial for the most part, and I think this has lead to the degradation of feeling of solving a puzzle. While sure, there are times when open-ended solutions to puzzles feels satisfying, it also leads to situations where the player can just cheese an answer, and while that may satisfy some in a creative sense, it leaves the people who want to solve head scratchers feeling like they wasted their time trying to think how the developers wanted the puzzle to be solved.

The fact that BotW and TotK puzzles can be solved in a number of ways, but also really only expect the player to have the tools they got during the tutorial area makes the puzzles feel... flat, for the lack of a better term.

This, in tern, makes the design of dungeons feel less satisfying to explore, because it has lead to the designers basically making all of the dungeon "find X number of keys to open the door to the boss." Yeah, classic Zelda was that at it's core, but the puzzles, while certainly not super complex because of their target audience, often had variety in ways that the modern ones just don't. That variety masked the blatant "find keys" part of the journey, which I feel is so obvious in the modern games that it sucks the sense of wonder exploring the dungeons used to bring. From what I've seen of TotK, this problem is made worse because the game just tells you that you need to find 5 things to unlock a door up front, and that's just kinda lame.

I'm not going to pretend the puzzles in OoT are complete brain ticklers, but they had some fun solutions. Opening the door to the boss of Dodongo's Cavern involved a simple riddle about dropping bombs into the eyes of a giant Dodongo Skull to open it's mouth. It was a fun concept that was really only used once in that game, and it sticks out in my memory to this day. Most of the puzzles in BotW, by contrast, are less interesting outside of the moment you're doing them because they mix the same assets together so much that it all bleeds into one amorphas blob.

Shrines only further make this a problem, because the Shrines have you do these sorts of puzzles outside of dungeons, making them less creative overall over the course of the game. There's only so many times you can have me use Magnesis or Statis Launches to solve similar set ups before I get bored. I do like the idea of Shrines, but there are too damn many of them!

Also of note is the lack of meaningful rewards for doing the Shrines or the Dungeons. Sure, the Shrines give you a resource that lets you increase your Health and Stamina, but that's really it. The chests are largely worthless because they hold weapons that break (at least in BotW), or other things you can just farm from enemies, or just buy. I don't feel rewarded for using my brain, I feel like I'm going down a checklist for some more health. Heart Pieces often had some kind of puzzle or series of things you needed to do to get them, but they felt so much more rewarding because the feeling of getting 4 of them (or however many you need in other games) gave you a satisfying little jingle that hit you with some dopamine like "Look at you! You got a little stronger by using your skull spaghetti!"

My Proposed Solution:

Simply put, my solution is to cut the Shrine number down by half, and make only half of them doable out of the gate. Then I'd use those resources to make unique, tightly design dungeons that give you a unique tool that you can use to solve puzzles with that won't break, and allow those items to be woven into puzzle solutions.

This way, you get some puzzle elements that are open-ended that you can logic out however you want, and then you get some puzzles that have more specific, guided solutions that test your knowledge of the tools you have. You can walk into a Shrine, see a thing that you can't do, and go "okay, there's a tool I need to be able to do this, but I don't have it yet," and know that you'll be able to come back to it later for a puzzle that tests your knowledge as you acquire more tools.

Dungeons could then have more time dedicated to giving them a unique theme and vibe. Unique assets, and a proper sense of wonder that makes them feel worthwhile. Dungeons, I feel, should be guided experiences that progressively introduce new ideas to test the player, rather than just be open ended boxes that have like 5 puzzles that are solved in similar ways to previous puzzles you've likely solved to open a door. They should have a sense of place and spectacle.

Personally, if we were to use the world of BotW/TotK as the basis, I'd have each dungeon reflect the ancient versions of the races civilizations and cultures. Basically, double down on the whole Ancient Sheikah idea, and apply it to the other races of Hyrule. I'd love to see something like an ancient mine of the Gorons teaming with gems and Dodongos, or the dilapidated sunken remains of an ancient Zora city, just to name a few basic things. Pull from the series past and history to create places oozing with cultural atmosphere that stimulates a sense of wonder, but also filled with dangers that excite those seeking the thrill of adventure.

2. The Story

While I am aware that TotK vastly improved the story being told compared to BotW, I think it can't be denied that the open-ended approach to the story is hurting the pacing of things immensely, and leads to a lot of awkward scenarios. The fact that you can view the memories out of order in both BotW and TotK is insane to me, but that's not the only issue.

While open-ended open worlds are good for gameplay stuff, it has taken a toll on having the story of Zelda feel like it has much substance. Sure, you can sit there and say TotK story is good if you sit down and focus on it, but that's the problem: because you can do things in any order, the story loses a lot of traction. I've seen the cutscenes for completing the dungeons in TotK, and the fact that you basically see slightly different versions of the same thing, but with a different narrator, is what I'm talking about.

I personally think that the story is too loosely strung together in these titles because they feel they have to be for the sake of immersion or something, but that is silly to me. You can have an open-ended game that has structure to a plot that is less open, because other devs have been doing it for years. Older Zeldas have done it, to a degree.

Older Zelda titles often did expect you to follow a path the designers laid out for you, but that's because stories often need that kind of structure to be told in any sort of cohesive way. It's like playing a tight game of D&D, where the DM is allowing the players some flexibility, but is still going to guide the players down a path toward some sort of conclusion. The path to that ending may be slightly different, but there are still plot beats that get to that conclusion that occur in a certain order. It's a lot of work, but often leads to satisfying campaigns. And I'm speaking as someone who doesn't care much for D&D.

I think Zelda needs to have a loose, but still very much guided structure. Part of the reason I get so bored playing BotW when I do play it is that the game gives me so much freedom to do whatever, and no real sense of direction outside of a few map markers for the areas you need to go for the main quest. Yeah, that can feel liberating, but it makes it feel more like I'm wandering around in the dark, and less like I'm on a grand adventure, y'know?

I don't want things to go full blown Skyward Sword, where you're effectively on rails, have have to do basically everything in the order the designers wanted you to, cause that feels bad in Zelda too. I think the story should set itself up in such a way where the player is limited to a small pool of possible events that can be seen in any order, but all need to be completed to access the next pool of things, which could be larger. Much like how both Link to the Past divides the game between the 3 Light World dungeons and 6 Dark World dungeons with a trip to Hyrule Castle, or how Ocarina of Time requires you to get the Three Sacred Stones before you can do the Temples for the Medallions.

Events in the stories, as they are, feel like they expect that any dungeon should be your first, and there are only a small handful of dungeons. This, in theory, would be fine, but because each dungeon has to act as though you've never seen things before, it leads to very stale narrative presentation long term.

There's also another small issue that's eating away at the story of the games: the reliance on Ganon.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy Ganon/Ganondorf when he's done well, and he was several times in the past. I understand he's the big bad of the series, and he'll always be around, but he's been something of a stain on the series' ability to tell unique stories for a while. This was highlighted in Twilight Princess first, where he sort of just comes in and kicks Zant, a villain who was super imposing and interesting, to the curb for the sake of a lame twist. This was lame, sure, but I really don't like their reliance on Ganon in these recent games.

I could put up with it in BotW, because the game is ultimately about dealing with the Calamity, which is Ganon's essence of corruption given shape. It was dumb and basic, but BotW was sort of basic on purpose in a lot of ways with it's story, so I didn't mind. But with TotK? I feel like they just brought him back because it was easy, and because there are a lot of thirsty Ganondorf fans out there. I just see his inclusion after dealing with Calamity Ganon as a blight on what could have been a much cooler narrative.

My Proposed Solution:

As I mentioned above, I think the goal should be to apply a degree of limitation to the player in how much they can accomplish as they progress. This means there are only so many scenarios the game has to account for. If we, say, limit the player to the classic 3 "starter" dungeons before letting them go into the next batch, then it makes things easier to write around. Have each dungeon be tied to a thing going on in the area that is connected to the main plot, but serve as a piece of a larger puzzle.

Then, I'd establish a simple check: if the Player is visiting, say, the Goron Mines first, then they'll get a slightly different cutscene than if they did the Goron Mines after the Lost Zora City, to account for the idea that the player has already seen some of the set up already. Basically, have the stuff the player experiences be told in a set order in slightly different ways, depending on when the player experiences it sequentially, and adjust in accordance to the order to avoid unnecessary repetition of ideas being conveyed. That way, when Link gets insight into the broader narrative, it feels like a puzzle being solved, but the stuff surrounding that insight is focused on the area.

As for Ganon, it's a pretty simple thing: just don't use him for a little while. Again, I get he's the big bad of the franchise, but we've seen other villains in the series work. Even having a devout follower of Ganon take over and try to resurrect him for a game would be fine, if a bit cliche at this point. Let's see Vaati come back maybe? Or another interesting original villain like Majora/Skull Kid? I still want to learn more about lands besides Hyrule, and a unique villain from Ganon gives us plenty of opportunity to explore those lands.

Speaking of...

3. Hyrule

I don't think it's at all controversial to suggest that Hyrule's map in TotK makes it less satisfying to explore for a lot of people. Sure, there are new areas to check out in a post-Calamity Ganon world, and the added the Depths and the Sky Islands... but I mean, it still kind of sucks that 90% of the map is just a copy/paste job.

Beyond that, I've developed a bit of a pet peeve with the Zelda series and it's use of Hyrule. While I completely understand that it's the primary setting, and that's not really something I'm looking to change or anything, I just miss when we got other places to explore, y'know?

Majora's Mask has Termina, the Oracle games have their own countries, and even Tri Force Heroes has it's own unique setting, and that's just scratching the surface. I love when a Zelda game takes us outside of Hyrule to see other parts of the world, even if it just has a bunch of things that make it feel like a remixed version of Hyrule at it's core. Termina is like this, but I still want to go back there and explore how things have changed since then, y'know?

I don't really have a solution for this issue, I just really think they need to be willing to go outside of Hyrule more often... especially with the next game, just to have things feel fresh again.

4. Weapon Degradation and UI

I don't know about y'all, but I hate the weapons I'm using breaking, but having no real way to repair them. Sure, I know you can often find duplicates or, in the case of TotK, you can just build a new copy of the thing you like, but I still hate it.

A lot of this is compounded by the fact that a lot of chests just contain weapons that will break after a few uses, and it just makes the act of fighting things feel more tedious. I know some would say it adds a degree of tension, but I and many, many others don't like it. It says a lot about the system that when you disable it via cheats, BotW becomes more fun.

The UI doesn't make this any better. Cycling weapons and shields feels clunky as hell, and selecting which arrows you are shooting from the bow is just... why is it so bad!? And how did TotK make that WORSE!? Crafting in TotK is neat, sure, but when you have to individually combine the item you want to each nocked arrow, and the menu is that bad, you have to ask how that got out of beta. I dunno if it's been fixed since then, and I don't really care.

My Proposed Solution:

Here's the thing, all I want is to have 2 things in the case of the weapons breaking.

Thing 1: A permanent set of things you can upgrade over time that never breaks, and only needs to be sharpened or something, but lacks special attributes that make the breakable stuff worth a damn to use.

Thing 2: The ability to use materials to repair/maintain the weapons you like.

The simple thing to fix the UI is actually just to have a weapon wheel that you save the things you like onto in the positions you want them, and to have a tab button to cycle to less used stuff. Basically, just do what Ratchet and Clank did 20 years ago.

As far as arrows are concerned, just let the player craft them in the inventory, and have the Bow weapon wheel have a way to cycle which type of arrows you want to use. Easy. It'd still be a touch clunky, but you'd not have to deal with scrolling through a list, and that's just objectively better.

The wheel would also apply to Tools/Abilities like Runes. Just hold hold the button, and then use one of the sticks to cycle around the wheel. Simple.

Honestly, this post got a little long, but hopefully people see where I'm coming from. I don't really have much of a point beyond what's stated above, but I'll try to end this off with something to think on.

Zelda's current direction has been a bit contentious with some of the older fans, and while I think BotW and TotK are respectable games, and they offer new life to a series that was admittedly losing a fair bit of it's steam, it's frustrating how there are some things that just feel like simple, elegant fixes to the new formula that'd bring it more inline with what classic fans like myself would like more. I don't think what I'm asking for is that much (especially with the UI stuff). I'm not really out here demanding that they bring back something like the transformation masks (though if there was a game like BotW and TotK, but they replaced Runes with Transformations like those of the masks from Majora's Mask, I'd probably give the game a 20/10 out of pure bias for Majora's Mask), I just want the game to feel more like the Zelda I grew up with, rather than this sort of bland open world with a Zelda skin that it's become.

As it stands, modern Zelda is starting to feel less like a grand adventure, and more like I'm wandering through the woods without a map or a compass while it's super foggy out, and finding table scraps rather than neat treasure. I might make a post about what I'd do with a hypothetical Zelda game in the future. I've got a handful of ideas, but this post is too long as it is... so... yeah, that will be done later. Maybe.

[ghostofacrow]

Crow plays Gubat Banwa part 3: Together

I originally wanted to write the next post right away, but the reason I haven't is that I actually got to play with other people for a bit. My regular tabletop groups all got cancelled over the holidays, so I spend the days around new years introducing some of them to Gubat Banwa by putting them into the fucked up meatgrinder fight from my last post. Originally I just wanted to explain the rules while we had some more free time then usually, but we had so much fun we've since started the Sword Devil module - which I'm not going to talk about as much on here because it involves other people and spoilers for the intro module.

I was curious how the same battle was going to play out with a normal 1 gm 3 players setup and a different party composition (Murderglave, Heavenspear and Bladeweaver) and they did way better then I did, despite me controlling the enemies normally. The thunderbolts did really matter and the Murderglave in particular did surprisingly well while being outnumbered, but they still got saved by me forgetting about some of the demon mechanics. Also the 1.6 Patch 1 Update happened inbetween the tutorial battle and us starting the Sword Devil game.

We're trying to play the Sword Devil gmless, which is a bit awkward and weird because we're still following the book, so there is some weird suboptimal friction where we are still following a guided scenario, but we're all aware of all the hidden information at all times because we're reading through the book together, but it's been a fun experience regardless. I'm reusing Haraw for the game, and despite her being meant for a different game originally and none of us coordinating our characters at all, rolling for complications for our group led to us coming up with a whole previous adventure our characters went on together.

Similarly, coming up with the battle maps together led to a great feedback loop of "yes and"ing ideas that I don't usually see in tactics games. On the combat side of things, the update cut everyone's POS in half, so we were really surprised by how quickly the fight ended, our Murderglave and my Flower Balyan both got screwed by the fight only lasting for 2 resounds, even after we spend gaba to add more enemies. Because the Murderglave had to spend most of their first riff crossing a river and I couldn't play off my poison spreading and fields as much as I'd like. Weird opposite problem to what the first fight had, but I'm sure we can figure out how to balance the encounters over time.

But that's enough about what I've been up to, let's see how our Kadungganan are doing since I left them. I'll write the following scene in prose, if there's square brackets in the text, that means I did a Divination roll, the format is [Character Skill Result]. I'm leaning into the random elements more then I usually do here since I don't have anyone else to play off of, but I'll keep the mechanics discussion aside from noting the rolls out of the text.

The blood on Dranreb's hands was drying, clumping his fur together in dark, uncomfortable spikes. The river was right there and it would be do easy to wash it off, but the thought of leaving the shadow of the tree and wading into the water or turning his back to the forest made his skin crawl after what they just went through. He looked at the stranger lying before him. He had barely managed to still their bleeding after they had passed out, but they were still unconscious.

The leaves above him rustled as the other stranger shifted their position. They had climbed up into the tree when the demons attacked and had stayed up there since, and didn't respond to any of his questions. When Dranreb introduced himself and asked the stranger for their name in kind, they had stared down at him in silence before answering "You don't need to know.", and that had been the extend of their conversation. Sometimes he could hear whispers coming from the treetop, but he had soon realized that they weren't meant for him, but the stranger's gun. [Nasirakna Observation Even Succcess]

It had gotten dark before he could figure out a way to transport the unconscious Kawayanon, and Dranreb was about to drift off to sleep, when a gunshot woke him right back up, a jarring, violent intrusion between the sounds of the nighttime forest. "What are you doing?", he hissed up the tree. "Another demon.", the stranger simply replied, their voice flat like nothing out of the ordinary happened. Their eyes were fixed on something in the distance that Dranreb couldn't see from the ground. "I scared it off.", they concluded.

"We need to do something about them, we can't just let them run around the forest like this.", Dranreb said out loud, not expecting an answer.

A choked laugh came out of the tree. "And what are you going to do? You saw what happened when we tried to fight them."

"Yes, we won."

"Look at them." They pointed the butt of their weapon at the bleeding Kawayanon. "They're dying, I wouldn't consider that a victory."

"You don't know that.", he said, but still stopped to check their breath. Still stable. "Where do the demons even come from? There's so many of them suddenly."

"I have some ideas.", the witch answered. Dranreb stayed quiet, waiting for them to explain their ideas, but the follow-up never came.

The ensuing silence bothered him, as unpleasant as the conversation was, it at least kept his mind occupied. So he started talking again. "I still need to bring them to safety so they can heal."

"You mean die in peace."

"Stop it!", he yelled this time. "I don't care what you think, I'm not giving up this easily."

They discussed plans for a while. The path to the coast and Alimpulos wasn't that far, but they couldn't swim through the river with an unconscious, bleeding body, and the forest was more dangerous then usually. There was the Virbanwan battalion was camped out somewhere closer, but he wasn't keen on returning there, and the witch seemed even more put off by the idea. The witch scoffed when he suggested following the river to the next crossing downstream, where it fanned out and became flat enough to wade through. "You can leave if saving someone's life bothers you so much."

The witch took a moment to answer. "I'd like to pretend otherwise, but sticking together does make it easier to get to Alimpulos alive." Dranreb didn't notice that he drifted off to sleep until he found himself in bright sunlight, with a gun barrel poking into his side. "Wake up.", the witch said, standing before him. He scrambled to his feet.

[Haraw Toughness Even Failure]

The stranger was still unconscious, but their bandages hadn't bled through, a good sign that there injuries were less bad then they had seemed at night. Now he had to find a way to carry them. "I can't count on your help here, can I?", he asked the witch while lifting the body over his shoulder. "Listen.", the witch answered, "I accept that I can't prevent you from dragging dead weight around, but at least one of us should keep their eyes open and their hands on their weapon."

This was a good point, which made him more frustrated, but the Kawayanon, in their haze, at least managed to meekly grab onto him, and after he tried and failed to grab his spear and shield while holding onto them, the witch wordlessly picked up his gear. As they started walking, they'd occasionally mumble something that he couldn't understand. The Kawayanon was short of stature, but so was Dranreb, which made them difficult to carry, but he quickly found that he hated stopping more. The witch walked ahead of him and occasionally signaled him to stop, climbed into another tree and kept her sight on demons he could only sometimes see as dark spots in the distance. When this happened, he carefully placed the Kawayanon on the ground, picked up his weapon, hid between the undergrowth and listened to his breath, waiting for the witch to open fire. But the gunshot he was anticipating never happened. The demons passed them in the distance, his unpleasant companion climbed back down and they carried on.

The river became wider and wider, until the finally reached the crossing. Dranreb steeled himself for wading through the rushing water, but the witch put a hand on his chest and held him back. "Not so fast, look."

Confused, he looked out across the water, and noticed the spots were the waves broke. "Fish? They are large for river fish..." He furrowed his brows, noticing their rattling teeth and the steam clouding the other shore. "Yawa?", he asked.

The witch nodded. "We can't wait to cross the river much longer, unless you're prepared to spend another night out here."

What Dranreb had mistaken for fish from the distance were the demons, jumping and dancing in the waves. The river boiled where it touched their skin, their shapes obscures by the steam, only their cackling laughter reaching the shore.

[babe-a-yaga]

Thoughts, about 42 hours into Veilguard. Roughly mid act 2 I think?

-Exploration and combat feel better than they ever have. Also thoroughly enjoying smashing all of the pottery in Hyrule Thedas

-Orb and Dagger mage is a fucking BLAST to play

-I spent all summer reading the novels/graphic novels/encyclopedias in prep, because I'm neurotic. I wasn't expecting this to pay off as richly as it has, but Veilguard REALLY rewards you for being a book reading player. In the past, Stolen Throne kind of provided a little bit more context to why Loghain is Like That, but wasn't required reading. The Calling really paid off in Awakening, and I was expecting Tevinter Nights to have SOME of that (faction rep babies and such!) But I'm SO pleased to see Felassan haunting the shit out of the narrative, and when I started to put pieces together on the Gloom Howler, I didn't dare believe it until Valya appeared on screen. To say nothing of finally meeting Maevaris! I am being RICHLY rewarded for reading the books!

- Based on the books, and the marketing, I came in with pretty predefined notions of the companions and how much I expected to like each, which, in typical DA fashion, has largely been subverted! Davrins whole "monster nemesis' didn't interest me much until I realized it was Isseya, now I'm INVESTED. I hadn't given much thought to Taash and actively disregarded Bellara as Temu Merrill. I came in prepared to love Lucanis and Neve and Harding. I DO love Lucanis, though he's so much softer than I expected(positive)! Taash has I think become my #1 of all the companions. Bellara is in my top 3.

-Ghilan'nain is fucking scary ok

-halfway through act one it really grabs you and just starts running and it's cinematic and high stakes and wonderful. And most of the (relatively minor) gripes I have are swept away in the narrative

-The whole dread wolf regrets quest line had my jaw on the floor from start to finish, then I cried. I had about 80% of it predicted but it was still wild to have it all confirmed.

-I have laughed out loud more than once

-Rooks dynamic with Solas is very interesting and I wish I had more of it? It started off being really snarky in both directions, and now Solas is looking at her and asking "hey you OK? Are your friends OK?" And it's just INTERESTING.

-I've seen critiques that the dialogue feels HR-ish, and I'd counter that it feels more like therapy at times. It took a little getting used to in those moments but I don't dislike it and I like the slow development of the characters.

-I've also seen criticism that purple dialogue is goofy (derrogatory). It is absolutely goofy, but I am a goofy person and I LOVE how much of a shit head it makes Rook sometimes.

-I miss the search function in inquisition. Loot is made much more visible, but I find the "investigate" points aren't marked to the spot on your mini map and don't stand out enough. I've spent too long in some areas spinning around in the "investigate here" circle on the map without being able to actually identify what I'm supposed to be investigating. Especially while I'm binging through the story and TIRED.

-music is a bit of a letdown. It isn't bad, it doesn't take me out of the moment anywhere, but it hasn't been particular memorable and at no point has it punched me in the chest, made me weep, and possessed a corner of my mind for ten years a-la dark solas/lost elf themes

-it's very beautiful. My Rook is beautiful. The companions are beautiful. Thedas is beautiful.

-Minrathous feels like Kirkwall. I can't put into words why I feel that way, it's all vibes. and especially after the dragon (I saved Treviso). Maybe it's just docktown. But very Kirkwall energy.

More to come, I'm sure

[ficretus]

Heresy and Knightfall

This one is not gonna be a theory, more of a thoughts based on assumptions about Knightfall I made in previous theories. I won't reference them here, feel free to check them out if you are interested.

Interesting thing with Jaune's Joan of Arc is that he is a heretic. Not in a literal sense of the word, more of in context of Joan of Arc and being a Huntsman in Remnant.

JAUNE THE HERETIC

His first major heresy is his enrollment at Beacon. He wants to become a Huntsman without having any knowledge or abilities required to do so. Yet, he does it anyways thanks to his forged transcripts that made him out to be skilled fighter. This is double heresy, both in universe, as well in the context to Joan of Arc.

It's obvious that you shouldn't be apply for position of responsibility without any qualifications, especially when that position requires you to save and protect others. In context of Joan, Jaune's minimal qualifications are reference to Joan being given role in military despite her having no combat experience.

Difference which makes Jaune heretical here is that Joan was given that role because she managed to convince her superiors she had divine visions that might help them in battle (or at least, at multiple occasions she convinced them her visions were not demonic or heretical). If Joan applied to lead relief army to Orleans while completely winging it, she too would have been a heretic.

____________________________________________________________

There are some other instances of Jaune being a heretic, but are either not heresy in universe or not major enough. Yeah, Jaune going on revenge quest to kill Cinder is fairly heretical when you think about it in context of Joan of Arc, but completely justified in universe. Nobody gave a shit when Blake and Yang murdered Adam, I sincerely doubt Jaune's friends would have freaked out if he murdered Cinder. You also have some minor naughty bits like Jaune suggesting stealing Atlas military airship. Yeah, you really shouldn't steal things, but circumstances required them to do so.

_____________________________________________________________

Second major heresy involves Jaune's mercy kill on Penny. This is once again double heresy. Joan of Arc at no point in her military career did murder anyone, despite carrying a sword. This doesn't translate literally to RWBY since existence of Grimm forces main cast to kill all the time, and Jaune doesn't have some hard "no killing" rule for it to translate to villains (he went straight for the head when he had a chance against Cinder). So they translated this to even bigger taboo of Jaune being forced to kill one of his friends.

I'd say this is intentional Joan of Arc reference/subversion. They could have had someone else kill Penny, Weiss for example would have been much more personal choice, yet they chose Jaune. This wasn't even necessary for turning Jaune into a mess he was in Ever After. The fact Penny died because he couldn't save her would have broke him either way (he would have felt similarly if Penny killed herself). Yet, they ended up going for an option that puts Penny's blood directly on Jaune's hands.

If you dissect for any other detail or reference, this incident can be read as another heresy. During the Joan of Arc's heresy trial, she was trialed for crowning a King (this was to delegitimize Dauphin's coronation by implying he was given power by heretic instead of God). Jaune's act of killing Penny gave Maiden power to Winter, and as I explained many times before, Maidens are royalty. He effectively "crowned a king" with heretical act.

MANY JUDGES OF JAUNE ARC

Of course, actions have consequences. Cardin realized Jaune forged his transcripts and used it as blackmail material. Cardin is on the nose reference to Cardinal of Winchester, one of the interrogators during Joan's heresy trial (even more on the nose when team CRDL is team Cardinal). The fact Jaune was a fraud is also catalyst to Ren lashing out against him during the Volume 8.

Interesting thing is that the ones judging Jaune in both instances were on his side faction wise (yeah Cardin is piece of shit, but at the end of the day he is fighting against Grimm and Salem). I suspect this trend will continue when it's eventually revealed Jaune was the one to kill Penny. No matter the reason, the fact one of their friends killed the other is not gonna sit well with everyone. They didn't pull this trigger when Ruby and Jaune had a falling out in Volume 9, which makes me think they are saving this for something big.

JAUNE IS... RIGHT?

Weird thing with Jaune's instances of heresy is that his actions end up being justified in a long run.

Yeah, applying to join huntsmen academy when you don't even know what Aura is and pretending you know what are you doing while people's lives are on the line is kind of dick move. But through his hard work Jaune indeed became full blown Huntsman with one of the most useful Semblances in entire verse. Removing Jaune from the plot would cause a butterfly effect that would negatively impact the odds of good guys winning.

Same thing with some minor instances mentioned above. Yeah, going on a revenge quest to kill Cinder is probably not the most morally sound idea, but it worked out in the end. Even ignoring all the instances his presence was somewhat useful, his encounter with Cinder was a catalyst that lead him to realize his worth and helped him to fully unlock his Semblance. Stealing Atlesian military airship is not morally right, but you do need to reach Atlas somehow. Without that, they'd have much harder time reaching it and making difference in Volumes 7 and 8.

His mercy kill on Penny is another similar case. Yeah, killing your friend is not a cool thing to do, however, when you think about it, it was overall net positive decision (disclaimer: don't kill your friend). Without Jaune killing Penny and letting her have a choice in passing Maiden power, Weiss and Winter would have both died immediately and Penny and Jaune would have likely died in the aftermath.

Jaune's morally questionable decisions positively drive the plot forward and allow his character to grow.

KNIGHTFALL IS HERESY

Well, this is self explanatory, thank you for reading..

Knightfall is indeed a heresy, very interesting heresy, but one nonetheless. I consider it to be plausible ending of Jaune's and Cinder's character arc, although not particularly likely at the moment (especially since show itself is kind of stuck in limbo).

My reasoning here is that it fits what to me seems like a running trend with Jaune's heresies: act needs to be morally questionable, condemnation comes from his side and Jaune is right in the long run. At the end of the day this is arbitrary and based on observations I made above. However, this to me feels like a good criteria, to have Jaune be morally questionable but never cross the line into villainy. After all, Joan of Arc was falsely accused heretic.

If you remove the first criteria, then it's not really heresy and his friends are picking on him for no reason. If you remove the other, then you just end up in "Blake and Yang murder Adam" situation (technically morally wrong, but justified). And if you remove the last one, then Jaune is just committing morally questionable acts (and he ends up feeling like Ironwood).

____________________________________________________________

Does Jaune need another heresy to commit? This is once again arbitrary, but I'd say yes.

While extremely important to his character, Penny incident aftermath is not resolution to Jaune's character arc. In fact, as seen in Volume 9, even though it was right thing to do, Jaune hits another character low point. I feel like whatever final heresy Jaune commits it will be resolution to his character arc, finally becoming a hero his own way and ending his self worth issues.

It also comes relatively too early. This might sound bit weird since it happened in climax of Volume 8, but I feel like whatever his final heresy is, it's gonna happen near the climax of story itself. Think about Ruby for example and repeated motif of wolves in her story. She has Beowulf in her backstory, she has Cinder as a wolf that tricked her and "ate" her friend, she has Hound as spiritual family member (since he is also silver eyed) getting devoured by Grimm. However, none of these feel like a final wolf. Ruby's final wolf likely being either Grimm Summer Rose or herself as Grimm. I feel the same way with Jaune, that there is another major heresy down the line.

____________________________________________________________

What was I yapping about before? Right... Knightfall. Sidenote, when I say Knightfall in my posts I consider both platonic and romantic versions. I tend to lean towards romantic interpretations mostly due to various literary allusions and themes.

As I said above, Knightfall is heresy of highest order. Hero redeeming the villain that completely broke him. That's what makes it appealing to me and why it seemingly fits with Jaune's previous heresies.

Is it morally questionable? Kind of, you are letting one of the main villains off the hook and are willing to give her a second chance. If they end up playing Joan of Arc allusion straightforward and Jaune ends up giving Cinder Crown of Choice, then that's magnitudes more questionable.

Would he face backlash from his side? Absolutely. Pretty much every major character was hurt in some way by Cinder. Once again, if he ends up giving her Crown, then it gets considerably worse.

Is it good in a long run? Yes, it is. Not only do they deny Salem one of her most powerful assets, they gain new powerful ally. Ally that is finally able to break free and make her own choice, completing her character arc. Jaune is also able to triumph in his own way by "weaponizing" his kindness.

_____________________________________________________________

Those were some of my thoughts on Jaune's heresies and how Cinder could fit in them in the end. Of course this is all purely speculative and could end up meaning nothing. Maybe there will be completely different event down the line that fits heresy motif. Maybe these are all just coincidences and writers are winging it, who knows.

Either way, what are your thoughts? Feel free to comment if you have your own interpretation of Jaune's heresy. That's all for today.

[rei-ismyname]

HEIR OF APOCALYPSE #4 - A WET FART TO END A TURD OF A MINI

So... This was a waste of time at best. I'm not going to bother with any literary analysis because I don't feel like putting more thought into it than the author, so I'm just going to dunk on it. Spoilers below the cut.

If you read my previous entries, you'll recall I reasoned that Mr Sinister would be part of the climax. He was in opposition to everyone else in the mini and had more page space than any two other characters put together. A Chekhov's Gunman, if you will. NOPE. Doesn't even appear. Emma asks where he is and Warren says he fucked off. WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT THEN? I didn't want any more of him, but I wanted a story that's internally coherent. He was already a nonsense addition to the cast, and his presence just makes it a mini full of shit jokes and OOC responses to him murdering everyone's friends. He choked everything else out. Readers already have Sinister fatigue from Krakoa, where he was a crucial character - here he's just infuriatingly needless like a child licking all the cupcakes. The child is Steve Foxe, the saliva is Sinister, and the cupcakes are character work and a plot. Would've been nice, but get fucked I guess. Let's check in with the rest of the contestants.

I've read this sequence four times and I still don't know what is happening here. Meant to what, Doug? You can communicate with a fucking rock but can't tell us what's going on? You deserve to get turned into a golden idiot. I take it back, nobody deserves that.

O.....okayyyy. He doesn't pick Cable. This is gibberish. This is the end of Cable's time in the book. Lucky him. I said I wouldn't do any literary analysis but ARGGGHH. This is all information both parties, AND the reader, know. No new context, just taking up page space.

Sup, Forge? You remember how you were going to solve global homelessness and starvation? You'd built this whole system and were excited. You already knew it would work but I'm going to tell you anyway. (Can Apocalypse see the future? Wtf?) Shame it needs Krakoan biotech.

You're just the best. What this world truly needs. Except... You made a bad thing once so you can fuck yourself buddy. Bit rich coming from Apocalypse, no? 'Deserve' is moronic coming from a social Darwinist. He doesn't get picked either. *Pushes glasses up* ACKSHUALLY, he made it to combat Dire Wraiths - it just happened to work on mutants too. Mega dickhead Gyrich couldn't wait to use it and he did. I'd say Forge's sin is actually working for the US military industrial complex where Gyriches can access your shit. Buuuut, that's NOT something Apocalypse can hang on someone else. He's been fomenting war for millennia. Storm is stronger for having lost her powers, so by Apocalypse logic he should be G. God this mini suuuucks.

Alas, Tumblr only allows 10 images per post. Danielle Moonstar will not be featured bc I don't want to explain it then dunk on it. Just trust me when I say it sucks. She doesn't get picked and she's quite fine with that. Maybe Big Blue learnt nothing from his ridiculous Egyptian traps and decided to make one of his four living children heir? Five if you count his clone, Evan, who is just the sweetest kid ever.

I wonder if he's still calling himself Genesis. That'd be funny cos that's Apocalypse's wife's name. We never did see Evan on Krakoa, what's up with that? It would have been the perfect opportunity for what Age of X-Man bungled - interrogating the reason for his existence, destiny, fate, etc. Would he rethink his position on Nature/Nurture upon seeing Apocalypse behave responsibly and selflessly? Many of the other clones had their personhood affirmed - why not he? These are all very good questions that I'll come back to one day, but I'm honestly just trying to build some tension where STEVE didn't. It should be obvious who 'won' using the process of elimination.

Dougie! You're a good kid. Maybe even the best. We know this already. He picks him btw. He picks Douglas Ramsay. Cypher is the Heir of Apocalypse. Does it matter that he survived the Pyramid obstacle course through luck? Or are we meant to assume he 'solved' whatever dumbshit puzzle it was? It's quite clear Big Blue chose who he wanted to and the Tournament somehow helped that process. Doug ends up in Egypt whereas everyone else is on Arakko. Seems like it should be the other way round but whatever. How did Apocalypse get there? The transporter I guess. This really could have been a one shot.

Were you here for more than a panel of Emma Frost, Laura, Rictor (who actually wants to be here and has a relationship with Apocalypse) or Warren? Too bad, fuck you. Were you here for ANY Exodus, Armageddon Girl, Monet, Gorgon, or even Sunfire who teased a way more interesting story in issue 1? Double fuck you. You get nothing. All people I care about more than Sinister and his dumb jokes. May as well have done a Deadpool movie tie in LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING COMIC THIS WEEK. Okay I'm getting distracted - Doug wins the nebulous position of Heir and a ... Transformation. Drumroll please.

Woo! Bei and Warlock sightings! It's nice that they're supportive and they're the first good thing in this book. The second is that Arakko isn't blown up or moved to another dimension or whatever. We might see it again, hopefully in better hands than this kick in the balls. Anyway, let's see what Doug looks like post-transformation and wrap this shit up. Hopefully he doesn't look like an idiot.

HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA. Oh my god he looks ridiculous. His face and body language look like mine the first time I saw him. 'Fucking really, dude? This doesn't feel like a reward.' Gold, short, Apocalypse - That's what Doug looks like now. Big Blue can alter his own body at the molecular level and he chose Mini Me from Austin Powers 2. Ororo grew up in Cairo, maybe she can call his dumb ass out for cultural appropriation? He looks like a Halloween outfit or a bad cosplayer that doesn't know he's white. White boy dreadlocks given human form.

Is he fine with being renamed as well? Revelation is another word for Apocalypse, the greek translation AFAIK. It was mentioned a lot in Immortal X-Men and Excalibur. C-3PO here could tell him that too. It makes zero sense.

I can't see how this is close to a good thing for Doug, sorry, REVELATION. Apocalypse is kinda world famous as a genocidal lunatic. He may have worn a suit to the Davos economic forum and dropped awesome one liners but it's easy to forget that was a setup. They had 20~ dudes with psi-blockers, body armour and assault rifles to kill them. Unless he included some massive physical upgrades and defenses Doug is in great danger. I hope he got to Egypt by other means bc his days of commercial flight are over. Forget flight, going to the shops to buy food will terrify everyone he sees and he'll probably get murked by a SWAT team. Fuck this is dumb.

OUTRO/SLIGHTLY MORE SERIOUSLY

Okay, it's happened, I've accepted it. Heir of Apocalypse was hot garbage and Doug looks like a fool. What now? Doug has inherited the job of 'shepherding mutantkind' with his words. I know Warren is not listening to him lol. Why would anyone else? Big Blue built up *some* goodwill during Krakoa but blew it at the end. Look how many of the contestants showed up to keep an eye on him. Most of them. Nobody trusts this MF and looking like a gold version of him can only hurt his efforts. A good writer can make anything work, but those kind of pitches getting accepted are rare.

Sigh. What seems more likely to me is some dipshit making Doug a villain. I really hope not, because let's face it, Apocalypse's motivations were always nonsensical. He's like the Phoenix - totally iconic but becomes harder to take seriously each time it's used. Hickman and Gillen, respectively, are exceptions to that and part of their success was retconning the idiotic shit that had been overused and then recontextualising the concept from the ground up. One could argue that Doug as Heir of Apocalypse is doing just that, but if that happens that writer has a lot of work to do.

I'd LOVE for him to get his own book examining exactly how one fills that role with Doug's skills, powers, experience, and worldview. Truly, I would, but the Marvel formula is built on punching and Doug doesn't do that. He's just said he's not going to do that. The easy/obvious path to take is to have Doug go craaaazy (ugh) or be changed into Violence Man from whatever Apocalypse did to him, which would be a waste of time. It'd just be Apocalypse 2: The Goldening. Sadly it's probably most likely.

Until then, I guess Revelation is a gold idiot that's probably not appearing in any books. I'd love for him to show up to the bar Anole works at in NYX or something but let's be serious here. This wasn't even good bad, 'twas just an incoherent disappointment.

[bogbees]

I've never seen anyone talk about Iruka's back scar and how Kakashi would react to it. like he probably wouldn't give much of a fuck until he heard how he got it

6:13 PM · Sep 28, 2019

like, he's all like "damn Iruka that's a gnarly scar" and Iruka smiles all sunshine and rainbows "oh yeah it's from when Naruto passed the exam!" and Kakashi just stares at him

like I'd imagine at this point Kakashi has developed some sort of positive romantically inclined feelings

so his brain is like, slow booting up the facts - I was the anbu in charge of the team looking for Naruto - Iruka found him first - Iruka's best friend had almost killed him - Naruto and Iruka had emotions - Naruto saved Iruka

and for a bit he's like "oh man if I had just been doing my job Iruka wouldn't have gotten hurt like this"

goes a bit crazy over how close he was to loosing Iruka before he even knew him and got to experience everything with Naruto and Iruka

he's like "god help me I know ab loss and that everyone you love dies holy fuck" "but Iruka is a teacher who hasn't seen combat in years!! he by rights shouldn't be in life threatening situations"

and then Iruka tells him ab how he and some random kid almost died that day at school bc of some poorly executed ninja magic and pointy objects

Kakashi looses his mind, starts laughing his ass off

Iruka laughs along bc ?? ok weirdo it wasn't that funny but ok. Naruto is so annoyed. ichiraku ramen stand dude is like, pshyic and had a feeling Kakashi was worked up over something involving Iruka is so relieved to see him getting over it

at some point Kakashi is like, still crazy ab loosing Iruka so he like keeps doing shit for Iruka so he wouldn't be in harm's way and Iruka is getting annoyed

so Iruka is like "dude I can do this myself thanks please fuck off" and Kakashi. reacts by not reacting?? he goes still and you can tell there's some shit otg

and so Kakashi fucks off. he fucks off real good. he doesn't talk to Naruto or Iruka for like a whole week, and would have gone on for several more if Iruka hadn't gotten fed up with his behaviour

so Iruka low-key sets up a trap just for Kakashi and it works bc Kakashi's brain funk is wonky

and he's like "you bastard I thought we were all having ramen together tonight but the kids said you had other shit to do - you and I both know you put off everything else till after! remember the anbu incident"

so Iruka is like "fess up what's bothering you??" kakashi looks so pathetic with one foot caught in a trap, dangling upside down from a tree, but more so because he looks so exhausted

so Kakashi talks about how when he first saw that scar, he got kinda scared ab loosing him

Iruka starts laughing until he notices Kakashi's solemn face and he's like "oh you're actually serious huh"

so. Iruka cuts Kakashi loose on the condition he doesn't run away. Kakashi would have, had Iruka not held his hand

and Iruka explains his own issues with his scar "you know, a guy I considered my best friend gave me this! it almost killed me!" kakashi pale

"so there's bad stuff ab it, but it's also the scar from when Naruto passed his exam. when we finally got on another's wave length proper, when Naruto saved me literally and I guess I sorta saved him"

Iruka explains that the scar is from a very positive part of his life. that he's grateful that it happened, if it hadn't, he wouldn't have gotten to know Naruto like he does, he wouldnt have ever met Kakashi

"you already knew me before tho" "yeah as like, passing co-workers. I wouldn't have learned what makes you tick or be able to hold your hand like this, and this is really nice, best I've ever had"

kakashi flushes red like. that's too intimate.

"Kakashi don't get embarassed you read porn in public. with a straight face."

also I'd like to have this sort of flash back to when Iruka was in the hospital and anbu Kakashi was keeping an eye on him and Naruto