#so it'd feel a little weird to me to have one that's just Trauma

[bravetimetravellingaussie]

Walk

Poolverine oneshot

Summary: they're making their way downtown, walking slow because their dog has very short legs

Warnings: foul language, deadpool and wolverine are in this, consider yourself warned

"I'm going out with Mary, might stop by the store or something, you want anything?" Logan asked as he clipped a leash on Mary Puppins.

"Oh, sure. Well, I do need some things, it'd probably be easier if I just came with you though."

"Hurry up then and let's go."

"Let's fucking go," Wade snickered under his breath.

As they made their way out of the apartment, they bumped into a neighbour, with whom Logan exchanged a polite smile and a 'good morning'.

"Hey, peanut, can you pinch me real quick?"

"Why?"

"Oh, nevermind."

"Hey, peanut, you looked so cheery earlier. I would've stayed home if you didn't want me tagging along on your morning walk."

Logan didn't ease up his frown. "You got a problem with my face, bub?"

"No, of course not. But your resting bitch face was a little less severe before we left the house."

"Keep talking like that and you won't have a face."

"Man I love our threat of great violence banter."

They carried on walking in silence. There were no more goodmornings. In fact, nobody gave them a second look. Quite on the contrary, they seemed to be avoiding looking at them.

"This is weird," Wade said, more to himself than anyone else.

"Well, I'm sorry I don't feel like smiling and engaging in small talk all the time, bub." Logan sounded increasingly irritated.

"No, it's not- I'm used to you being an off-putting grouch, what I'm not used to is-"

Wade looked back and forth between Logan and the people who quickly looked away the second they saw his rather threatening countenance. And they didn't look back. That's what was weird, Wade was so used to people staring at him or giving him a double take when they walked past, he barely noticed it until it was gone.

Wade gasped and let out a muffled squeal of delight.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, bub?"

"I've got scary dog privilege," Wade told Mary Puppins, crouching down to give her ear a good scratch.

"Mary is tiny, who the fuck could possibly be scared by-"

You could almost hear the cogs turning in Logan's brain.

"Did you just fucking-"

"You know, a lot of people could be scared of Mary Puppins, don't diminish the experiences of people with animal trauma, peanut, you'll make the proofreader feel bad."

"What are you talking about?"

"Now be honest, peanut, were you making yourself look scary on purpose?"

Logan's nose twitched and he bared his teeth a little.

"You were! Oh-my-fucking-rom-com, you were being scary on purpose, you big softie."

Logan humphed but didn't argue. Wade skipped along all the way to the grocery store.

"I have to pop by the pharmacy real quick before we can head home. Blind Al wanted me to pick up a prescription for her."

"I picked up Althea's meds for her yesterday."

"Oh, well these are different ones."

"Oh, OK. Well I might as well go in with you, say hi to the pharmacist, we've gotten quite friendly, seeing as how I always go get Althea's prescriptions for her."

"Fine! Enough with the mind games and light guilt tripping! I was going to- well the lemon and seltzer water weren't doing enough so I figured I'd try something else. I read on the Internet that-"

"What blood stains, Wade? You haven't gone on any missions recently."

"Yeah, well, remember how you warned you might stab me in your sleep, you did, and I didn't want to say anything because that seems like a touchy subject and the stabbing doesn't really bother me, it's not like we haven't stabbed each other before, and I was worried you might-"

"Shit, Wade."

"Logan? It's not a big deal."

Logan felt his nails digging into the palm of his hand. It was true that he'd beaten the shit out of Wade before, and vice versa, and they were both fine, but damn it, he hated not being in control. He hated lashing out at the people who chose to be there, the people who chose to care. He thought he'd been getting better at that, but he hadn't even noticed-

"Logan, snap out of it."

Logan bit the inside of his cheek so hard he could taste blood.

"You warned me, and I was okay with it. I still am." Wade gently placed his hands on Logan's shoulders. "Look if the nightmares bother you that much, maybe you can find a support group for veterans or traumatised superheroes - god knows there should be one of those, a lot of problems could be avoided if superpowered individuals got the emotional support they needed - or I don't know, I don't think we can afford to get you therapy, but you have people now Logan. You have Blind Al, and Mary Puppins. And me. You can talk to us. But I am not letting you push me away, no siree. If you want off the couch you're going to have to fight me. Understood?"

Logan's frown seemed more confused than angry now.

"I may have to start sleeping shirtless so you don't ruin and more of my t-shirts, though. I hope you don't mind. Tit for tit or something like that."

All of Logan's energy was being used on trying not to cry at that point, but he couldn't help a small smile at that last bit.

"Now that that's sorted. Let's go home."

[auncyen]

It still fascinates me that Akiren canonically is reluctant to tell the others about "Igor" and ultimately does not. You have a dialogue option to try explaining where the Metanav comes from when Makoto questions it, but Akiren shuts it down with something about it being too hard to explain if you try going that route. Again, Akiren does know how he and the others get the Metanav; Yaldabaoth tells him he gave it to him and will give it to potential accomplices in the future. While Akiren knows about this and also that "Igor" keeps alluding to future ruin, every other Phantom Thief is in the dark. And this is fascinating because without the blinders of "oh Igor's been good every previous entry, he's just cryptic", Yaldabaoth-as-Igor comes off as an extremely shady adult in an entry all about shitty adults manipulating and abusing kids, and Akiren is put in a weird spot where it is natural that it'd feel difficult for him to tell his friends about his connection to "Igor", which seems like a real good spot to get manipulated in.

I 100% believe that the only reason Akiren doesn't actually end up getting played for a fool with this set up is because he has main character privileges. Like, I can't speak for p1/p2, but 3-5, the main character is kind of a power trip. You make friends with a bunch of people, you can romance any girl (rip if you wanna romance boys outside p3p), you are The Special One.

Please imagine if Akiren wasn't the main character and it was either Ryuji or Ann (hell, while we're doing hypotheticals, let's say the game would let you pick which one you wanted to play as). Ryuji/Ann is the PoV character, but Akiren still starts as the nominal leader because he seems to have a better clue what he's doing then, and first-time players are like "wow, he's pretty cool, why aren't we playing as him" until you start getting PoV cuts to him interacting with Yaldabaoth and it's like.......not spelled out that "Igor" is bad news, but also it definitely seems like something isn't right, and again, this is the game of shitty adults manipulating kids. So you already know Akiren's background isn't great, he's not in the best spot, and now there are just these little hints that huh ok maybe your cool friendly leader is. doing something weird. hey buddy are you going to tell us about this weird guy??? No???? Not until a mid-game upset where the PT discover what they've been doing has been manipulating public cognition in a bad way they might have avoided if they'd just known to have the slightest suspicion about this old man most of them are just now hearing about and Akiren is having a meltdown out of guilt and shame because he didn't explain anything partially because it'd be hard but also because what if people didn't believe him, he acts cool but has trauma from his arrest and his hometown doubting him and he 100% avoided doing or saying anything that might make him anything less than the perfect trustworthy confidant for all his friends (which, guess how a few teammates would be reacting, so between that and Akiren having a meltdown, now Ryuji/Ann is the official leader! Yay, you're actually playing the leader now! Isn't that great? ...Yippee????)

and then on ng+ you just spend early game circling Akiren at his hangout spot yelling "TELL US YOU DUMBASS WE'LL STILL LOVE YOU AND IT'LL SAVE A LOT OF PAIN" but alas the plot is written.

anyway yes I still believe they set up Akiren so perfectly to be manipulated not just as part of the Phantom Thieves but as an individual, because of his own personal vulnerabilities, and that it would 100% have happened if he was not protag.

[picklebunbun]

Helloooo !!! If you don't mind, can you make a Flippy/Fliqpy x reader who as a DID (dissociative identity disorder) and the other alter hurts people who get a little too close to them without asking them first and they absolutely hate insects, like , they would literally try to kill them with a knife (and surprise ! They success) but only if you agree of course !

⌗. ➞ྀིྀི⚛️! : cw; I tried to research about DID, but since it's rare to get it, I have very limited information about it so I sincerely apologize if it's not accurate. Descriptions about insects getting squashed counts as gore, correct? Insanely violent reader, this is a bit more angsty than crack, reader needs a hug and so does Flippy ,

➵ Flippy / Fliqpy x gn ! reader this is supposed to be read as romantic

{ angel's notes 🪽; new style, kind of, anyways, if anyone has DID, please tell me if I got it right }

lıllılı.ıllı.ılılıılıı.lllııılı.

now playing [girl with one eye]

0:26 ———♡——— 3:50

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

—.𖥔 ݁ ˖⌗; hc's

before you realized you had DID, you couldn't remember what happened in your life. It was just like your life was birth and then adulthood, blanking on the memories in between .

when Flippy asked you about your childhood, you couldn't say anything. It was kind of awkward after that, you just both stayed silent .

large portions of your memory were gone by a snap of a finger, nothing made sense, it was like you took a long nap for hours and all your former friends cut off all contact with you with no explanation .

ever since then, you had trouble dealing with how you acted, you thought that everything was wrong with your body, your face, every individual cell in your skin, it didn't even felt like it was your OWN skin, so what gave you the right to judge it anyways ?

sometimes you felt like anything could set you off, suddenly getting angry at every sound, fire running up your nerves and getting major headaches from anger, a volcano waiting to destroy everything .

first of all, these systems or rather, system, not plural, was used as a defense mechanism against anything related to your trauma, even minor things like color or a specific sound. In a way, it was protecting you, maybe that's why a gigantic part of your life was missing .

when Flippy opened up to you about his disorder, it was such a relief for you, which also led you to admit that you had the same problem, which also led to you two talking about it. It was such a relief to have this conversation with someone who doesn’t think you’re crazy, even better, someone who could actually relate to what you were feeling .

the thing about your system, however, it’s defense mechanism was similar to Flipqy. It made it harder for you guys to fully trust each other. If your system took over but not Flippy’s he ended up getting hurt, but, this was a way to keep you safe, after all .

although, you did find that you calmed down from how you were before. You switched almost every time, 24/7, always being reminded on what happened to you, but since meeting Flippy, it was like all your once, dark, unlit, lightbulb just suddenly beamed with energy .

the thing is, even if Flippy fully gained your system's trust, it'd be really hard to convince everyone that you weren't dangerous, and you really didn't switch that much, it made you even more upset because everyone in the town trusted the green bear more. You thiught everything was out of place, that you didn't belong here, why live in a world that thinis it'd be better if you died anyways ?

it struck up a lot of identity issues ,,,

you and Flippy had a talk about it, it's refreshing when he comforts you, treating you delicately like an injured bird .

even if everyone hates you, as long as Flippy was next you, you'll be fine, his company is all you'll need .

it's so weird you have such an irrational fear about bugs but barely any reaction to guts and bloodshed, seeing you freak out about an insect while making sure that the soilders of WW1 eradicated the creature was definitely a sight .

bringing out a whole bazooka ಠ_ಠ ,, ?

even worse when you switch . 😭

COMES HOME WITH THE WHOLE HOUSE DESTROYED .

,,,

" hey [system / name] I ,, - WHAT HAPPENED ,, "

" ,, there was a bug "

stressing the man out oml . 😭

at least he doesn't get any bugs in his house anymore,,, BECAUSE THERE IS NO HOUSE .

chasing around a silverfish with a knife around the house

" you'll hurt yourself like that ?! "

" NOT BEFORE I HURT THIS SON OF A B TCH FIRST "

" CHRIST ALMIGHTY , [system / name] "

thank gyatt he can calm you down because everyone in the town would've been on fire .

it doesn't matter, he always loves you either way ! ❦

[women-of-malevolent]

All references to women in Part 29 - The Train

I hate John and Arthur's ~quirky~ new dynamic here /queasy

below the cut: a departure from my usual style, a long rant about the shift in tone from season to season

John is stuck inside Arthur's body and clearly feeling trapped in there. Arthur keeps dismissing John as yammering and nagging, John keeps mocking Arthur's happiness and relaxation. Finally we get to the root of whatever this argument is: John wants to see a film, he can't take himself to, and Arthur won't take him. Which. That sucks. You're the asshole, Arthur. John can't take himself, and he was just tortured for a thousand years and then helped you kill Uncle even though he really didn't want to. Jesus christ arthur pisses me off this season and I hate the quirky music trying to convince me his shit is cute :/

John is also gross here, mocking Arthur for eating, which is uncomfortably vicious. Arthur is really skinny, this comes up a lot, and he has a lot of trauma around food. In addition to the constant little jabs and corrections...

I think it's uncomfortable and bummery for John, a trying-to-do-good fragment of King In Yellow, be reduced to a petulant nag at this point in the story. Why now? Why does John now need to be taken down a peg, after being tortured for a thousand years by KIY and Kayne and then being made complicit in murder with Arthur? This sucks!

It's so sad, this line where he's like, "After all we've been through, you treat me like a passenger! I feel degraded and hurt!" And the music is like, silly and quirky, and Arthur is harried and ignoring John and talking to all the other people he's encountering in the world. HUMOR! Literally, who in the audience wanted this??? (no one did, this scene exists to shake off the dirty jarthur shippers who really liked when these two guys talked about love and finding each other in hell a couple episodes ago. This is a PLATONIC story, and platonic love means treating your friends like they're annoying nags for begging you to take them to a movie, something they can't do without you) (to spell it out I think canon!jarthur is not queerplatonic. It's not romantic. It's not anything; it's just here, every week, because that way there's a show. Arthur treats John like he's an annoying burden, and John is literally trapped inside of Arthur.)

I thought the weird John stuff was going to lead to a commentary or themes about misogyny. Like I thought they were intentionally (dysfunctional) husband and wife coded here and structural misogyny as a product of inertia, very real survival and safety concerns, and individual human fallibility was going to be explored. Now I doubt it

Arthur asks John if he's allowed to talk openly in the traincar. John says there's a woman who's been here the whole time, listening, and she looks offended. It's me I'm the woman (jk no I'm the cackling harpy they released in Part 38)

Just a random thought. I wonder how easy or hard it would be for a woman (or trans man, or enby) to get into the Freemasons 🤔 or any other all-male group, when they have to be invited and indoctrinated in. I think it'd probably be very hard. Like it was designed to make it impossible.

Hey but yknow it's okay Arthur can get inside, he does know a member! "Faroe's mother. Err, Bella. Her father was a Freemason."

Arthur tells Percival, a stranger he meets on the train, a story to calm Percival's nerves. A man named Mat Rullen trudges through the wilderness of the frozen North, at the mercy of a disregarding universe. His mother had died, his wife had died, the men he loved had died. He was working towards something... and it's revealed to be a cabin, one he'd shared with a friend years back. And the friend is there! The fire is warm. His friend asks, why are you here? Mat says, he killed a man, so he needed to leave. Charlie tells him, he can't stay, Charlie is here with a woman. Mat pleads with Charlie, but Charlie says no, Mat must leave. The end (he's interrupted and can't continue)

Eughhhhhhh ew John gets excited about having daring chases, and Arthur says "Well, you are my eyes, best be training them to think like me." He's not Arthur's eyes, he's John, and he's providing Arthur with exhausting accessibility labor that Arthur relies on.

[denaliwrites]

Love's Perfect Ache

Alec Hardy x GN!Reader

Summary: You have news for Alec and he doesn't take it the way you'd hoped.

Soundtrack: Arsonist’s Lullaby by Hozier

Requests: Open!

Warnings: Pregnancy, Mention of Abortion. No pronouns but Reader has a functional uterus.

You hold one end of a pregnancy test in one hand and tap the other end against the palm of the opposite hand while your legs aimlessly take you in circles around the kitchen. It's an anxious tick, something you've been doing for the last two hours. Since you took the test and saw the result.

Positive.

You can't help it -- it's not even good or bad news yet (that'll be figured out once you tell Alec). But learning you're carrying a baby is rarely something that people feel neutral about. And now, all you can focus your energy on is pacing and tap tap tapping the test against your palm while you wait for Alec to come home.

Of course, you want it to be good news. You've seen Alec with kids -- he's great with them when he actually cares enough to put in the effort to be. You've met Daisy a few times, and every time you see the two together you see that he's putting in the work to be a good dad, that he cares and does his best for her.

You'd be lying if you said seeing him with Daisy, or any of the neighborhood kids, didn't make you want kids of your own with him. Or even just a kid. One would be enough, really. You're not sure his heart could take more than one, anyway.

Your pacing came to a halt when you heard the door open and shut, panic suddenly filling you. As he rounds the corner and his eyes land on you and he starts to smile, you anxiously blurt out, "I'm pregnant."

You wait with bated breath, hyperaware of his expression, the way it changes from joy at seeing you to confusion to realization to panic and finally settles on...

"Fuck!" he growls in anger, and you shrink back, clutching the test tightly. "I thought we were being careful."

"I... I don't understand," you whimper. "Why are you angry?"

"Because I can't have another kid!" he turns his ire on you, but stops when he sees your devastated expression. "Darlin', I don't have it in me to raise another kid. I'm not as young as I used to be."

You nod, trying to hold back the tears. "I understand."

"And -- and think of Daisy," he went on, seemingly on a roll. "She's sixteen now, think how weird it'd be for her to be sixteen, seventeen years older than her little sibling."

"Y-you're right," you said, trying to placate him, trying to stop him. "Honestly, I should've expected you to react this way..."

He goes on, rambling about his heart and his career and at one point he circles back to his age, before moving on to the trauma of the Sandbrook case. He's completely missed that you're in tears.

That is, until you finally have enough. "Fine," you sob, and that stops him, that finally gets him to shut up. "Fine. You clearly... you don't want it. I'll make an appointment at the clinic tomorrow for termination."

He pauses, caught between having gotten, presumably, exactly what he wanted and a need to comfort you. Eventually, though you're not sure how, his need to comfort you wins out, and he pulls you into a tight and loving embrace. "Not... not yet," he says with a sigh.

"Why?" you ask meanly, squirming in his embrace to try to break free. He doesn't let you.

"We're both emotional," he says softly, hold loosening once he's sure you won't run away. "Let's... let's take some time, y'ken? Maybe we'll... maybe I'll come 'round. Who knows?"

"Why on Earth would you do that?"

"'Cause I love ye," he says simply, like there could not possibly be any other answer, like you should know that there is no other answer. "And your happiness means the world to me... and if that means ye get a kid, then..." He trails off, but you feel him shrug.

"I'm not gonna force you to have a baby with me, Alec," you whimper, eyes fixed on the wall ahead of you.

He slips a hand under your chin, tilting your head up so that you'll look at him. "You're not forcin' me to do anythin', darlin'," he assured you, planting a loving kiss to the corner of your mouth. "I want what'll make your heart sing."

[skiiyoomin]

I was wondering if you could write a saiki & reader oneshot fic with a reader who has DID & C-PTSD and paranoid tendencies? I understand that that might be a bit too hard to write but just in case I got some recorces that might be handy, here is the link to DID listing from my own copy of the newest version of the DSM https://www.dropbox.com/sh/htaraej65e34tg9/AADBATmelRQFUBfTMxaJ3W6wa?dl=0 as well as this website that has a lot of good info on it https://did-research.org/ and this page I found that has a brief overview of C-PTSD https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd but I also recommend quickly reading thru the different types of flashbacks (shouldn't be that hard to find info on)

The main idea is that because of the mix dissociation,switching,paranoia, different types of flashbacks etc that the readers thoughts are very fucking confusing to saiki (feel free to use this premise for any kind of plot you want just try not to make it overly angsty is all I ask, well as un-angsty as you can get with C-PTSD anyways lol) I just wanna see more y/n / reader inserts that I can actually relate to but the saiki K fandom is so small

Can be platonic or romantic

Hi!! So sorry for the late reply, I researched as much as I could so if theres anything remotely wrong or different please tell me! Ngl, im not very sure i like how it turned out, nevertheless I hope you enjoy :))

Also i totally get that its hard finding stuff for saiki k which is the reason why i write for it in the first place, they totally deserve more recognition!! Feel free to send more requests in the future!!

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Content: somewhat angsty but not really, i tried to be as vague as possible so as not to trigger anyone, reader suffers from trauma, DID, CPTSD, swearing, fluffy ending? slightly oc saiki

Summary: Saiki was used to listening to many types of thoughts, and at one point, nothing he heard surprised him. However when you came around, he was beyond confused. What sparks as a little curiosity might turn into something more.

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

ღNo matter what

He was used to it, or at least that's what he used to tell himself. Throughout the years he had heard all sorts of thoughts, at one point, he learned to tune them out when need be, having listened in on weird enough ideas that now don't surprise him anymore.

When you came in the picture, he was...baffled, to say the least. Confusing wasn't even close of a word to express how he felt. Your thought process was anything but simple. At times it'd be a fuzzy mess almost as if you lost part of your memory, other times, you'd think as if you were a completely different person, contradicting many of your previous thoughts. But what disturbed him most was the series of traumatic thoughts that would cross your mind. Flashbacks he realized in that moment.

In the beginning he felt annoyed, as per usual. Often times, he'd find you in class with a dazed expression, which to be frank, he had seen enough times to not give it a second thought. But then his attention would be caught when your mind would wander and you'd start thinking in a very unusual way. They were so unlike the person you presented to be, so much so that Saiki was left perplexed and in need to understand exactly what was going on.

The more it happened the more worried he'd be. There were days where you acted a certain way, and other days where you acted completely different. He could tell you weren't being fake trying to act differently for attention, after all, your thoughts lined up with the you acted and the things you said. Rather, it was the abrupt changes in your behaviour that had him thinking for far longer than he normally would.

Along the way, he also picked up how you'd flinch if you were in sudden physical contact, the way your shoulders would tense and the way your heart beat would speed up. Saiki wasn't stupid of course, he was aware that all of this was caused by some form of trauma.

He knew not to pry, yet his heart strings pulled everytime he saw you having a bad moment. So he began to follow you, in disguise of course, and even if he seemed like a stalker, he couldn't help it. Eventually he began to connect the dots, your reactions, behaviors, everything. It made sense now.

Unconciously, his words began to soften around you, his touch became gentler, he looked out for you in ways he had never done so with others. You began to notice but in no way did you mind, if anything, Saiki was someone you took great comfort in. What started of small slowly grew into something neither of you expected.

Of course, that didn't make it any less hard for either of you. Like right now. You were laying in Saikis bed, your head resting on his shoulder as you watched a movie, when suddenly a specific scene had triggered an anxiety attack. Your mind was racing through flashbacks of the many disturbing events you had gone through. Saiki was up almost immediately, having read your mind and sensed your reaction.

His touch was soft, his hands cupping your face so gently you'd think he was scared to break you, which he was. He was in no way someone who could comfort others easily. Nevertheless he tried his best. He attempted to lower your heart rate, rubbing small circles against your back as his other hand held the back of your head. No words were needed, they never were. He had, in a way, been there for you, way before you two even became a thing, so none of this was a surprise for either of you.

That didn't ease the guilt in your heart any less. You always felt bad. You knew Saiki could read you, literally. And well, it wasn't pretty. Countless times you had attempted to push him away, yet he never budged.

"'m sorry" you mumbled against his shoulder as your rested your head on it.

He cupped your face in his hands, pulling you to look at him.

`I won't let you push me away. The things you went through won't make me see you any differently, because to me you'll still be someone I cherish'

Your eyes welled up as you looked him deep in the eyes, finding nothing but love for you. Still cupping your face, he ran his thumbs under your eyes, wiping the tears away. He leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

'I love you'

"No matter what?"

`No matter what'

[coeluvr]

I'm honestly kinda obsessed with this story. It's so fascinating and I have so many thoughts and theories rolling around in my head, I cant wait to see how things unfold!!

There is one thing I'd really like to see added, if possible, and that's just more uncertain or middle-ground options, you know? I feel like it would make sense for some MCs to be conflicted or have mixed emotions or just not know what to feel or think about certain things.

This stuck out to me the most when we had to choose whether or not we think our sister actually did poison the late consort. I had a hard time choosing an answer because i felt like my MC just wouldn't know. I mean, that's her sister. Nobody wants to believe someone they love is capable of something like that. And from a more logical perspective, if you actually look at the evidence, she easily could have been framed. At the same time, everyone thinks she did it, that is what MC's been told their entire life, and there's no real evidence to suggest she didn't do it. So... 🤷‍♀️

There were a lot of moments like that for me. Like when we had to choose how we felt about Helios coming back. Our relationship with him at that point is kinda complicated and weird no matter what you do. It'd make sense that MC's feelings regarding him/seeing him again would also be complicated and weird. Or returning to Vesphire, being torn between terror and grief from the trauma but also desperately wanting to go back for the chance to feel some semblance of home, to find a familiar face, or at the very least to lay a flower at their family's grave. And I could see some MCs going back and forth on whether they want revenge or not.

I know adding variations can be complicated and cumbersome to do, so I would completely understand if you didn't want to. Regardless I really appreciate all your effort in making and sharing this story!! You're doing incredible and I'm excited for what comes next 💕💕💕

Hello! I am happy to know you like this little story of mine. 🙇‍♀️💗

I can definitely try to add more variations regarding Helios' arrival + for how they feel about their future trip.

And while I can understand that a lot of people can't decide on a firm standpoint regarding Catalina, I can't add a neutral option.

No one is saying that what MC thinks is facts, it's just their opinion. I'm sure MC over the years has leaned toward one or the other and you simply have to pick the one that feels right to your MC. MC's viewpoint doesn't have to be "the correct one", MC doesn't even know the truth of everything, there's no harm in being wrong.

Just in case someone asks for a neutral option regarding the revenge or no revenge aspect of the story, I can't do that either.

Both the Catalina and Revenge choices will be set for at least a while but when MC gets new and more updated view of things, MC will be able to change it so don't stress.

Thank you for your kind words. 💗

[gaycethecard]

TW: Human trafficking, pedophilia

Okay, I need to do a silly rant RRRRIGHT NOW!!!!!!

LET'S BE HONEST HERE! AMERICAN MCGEE'S ALICE AND ALICE MADNESS RETURNS ARE THE MOST UNDERRATED GAMES IN EXISTENCE!

Just think about the games. Ama has amazing gameplay and it's actually decently difficult (or maybe I just suck)! Amr has SO MUCH lore abt Alice!! Like it actually explains her backstory and it shows how the fire actually happened! It kinda confuses me why the cat caused the fire in the first game, but maybe it's trying to show that Alice wasn't sure what happened and she just assumed it was the cat and since I'm assuming she was a kid or something when this happened (because of the fact she was reading Alice in Wonderland), so she wouldn't fully remember what happened. Also, the asylum was having her forget about her traumas so her memory was a bit different. She started realizing the truth in the second game. Like how she was like "Wait a minute, Dinah was in my room! So how could she have started the fire?" LIKE OMGG!! Honestly, Dr. Bumby was a good villain for the story. I think since this was the 1800s, women didn't have a lot of rights and they were treated VERY badly by everyone in society, so I think human trafficking would be a lot more common. It'd make sense for a villain in that type of game to be a trafficker. I think both games are also just beautiful. Amr especially. The visuals are just AMAZING! It gives such a weird but soothing feeling. Same with the OST! I don't know what it is, but the Vale of Tears makes me feel so calm and relaxed. Ama's OST is also BEAUTIFUL! Like, have you HEARD Wonderland Woods?! Literal masterpiece!! It gives you an eerie but nice feeling!! But some are a tad bit spooky. Like the song that plays in the chess map.. If you play that, I am RUNNING away. LIKE OMG?? It's so CREEPY!! LIKE THE BACKWARDS HOG?! NUH UH!! And don't even get me started on Time to Die... IT MAKES ME FEEL SO SCARED BUT IT'S SO FITTING!!! For those that don't know, Time to Die plays in one of the last parts of the game. You're at the Queen of Hearts' castle. Looking for her throne. Her card guards are chasing after you, trying their best to murder you. And when it's quiet and you can just hear the OST.. IT MAKES SENSE!! IF THAT WAS YOU, AFTER YOU DEFEATED A BIG GROUP OF GUARDS, YOU'D BE UNSETTLED!! SCARED!! ON YOUR TOES!! AND THAT'S WHAT THAT SONG MAKES ME FEEL!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE AND IT'S ALL SO POETIC!! LIKE I THINK THE MAIN MESSAGE OF AMA IS THAT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO LOOK IN YOURSELF TO FIND THE PROBLEM! BECAUSE THE FINAL BOSS WASN'T EVEN THE QUEEN OF HEARTS, IT WAS ALICE HERSELF!!!! LIKE SHE HAD TO DEFEAT HERSELF TO FIX WONDERLAND!!! IT'S JUST SO AMAZING!! Also, just a little comment.. ALICE SLAYED WHEN SHE PUSHED BUMBY INTO THAT TRAIN! He honestly got what he deserved. That nasty pedophilic asshole. I think the main message of amr is to be careful who you trust and surround yourself with. I mean, THINK ABOUT IT!! She worked with a HUMAN TRAFFICKER!!! I also think it sends a message that justice is always possible no matter what. There's always a way to avenge somebody or something even if it's a bit immoral. Overall, I LOVE THIS GAME!! Sorry I ranted this much! This was like the first game I fell in love with in 2012 or 2013 I think!! BYEE!! :33

[pandagirl45]

Tony would totally play elden ring. Why? No reason. I think it's amusing to think about Tony playing and modding games.

Like he would talk about the original demon souls and just infodump on it. He be the one to try to beat ghost and ghouls.

Something. Something. Gamer Tony.

Let see, my personal headcanos, relating and not relating to the Canon stuff

Tony with extremis eyes can go arc reactor blue and sometimes orange due to magic silliness

Tony is a gamer

Tony is a goth

Tony is cat coded, lioness coded, tiger coded, humming bird, and my personal favorite a lion and lynx mix

Tony as mythological creatures ranges from dyrads to dragons. Dyrad, fire elemental/fairy, dragon, and werecat

If he was a wizard, he'd be close to nature and technology

Tony is ploygot

For me, my au Tony is demisexual and biromantic (other aus, I leave up for the reader)

I like having butterfingers, dume and u and call them the triplets. Jarvis is the "eldest". Vision and Ultron are the youngest

Tony definitely try to repress a lot of himself due to childhood trauma and fears.

My au Tony hides his scars. Arms, back of thighs, and back.

Tony is definitely sicilian/lybian and American (howard side)

He did look up to steve but he likes the underdog more (because I'm trash and I ship winteriron. Plus I think he would happily choose bucky just to irk howard off)

He straightens his hair before style it (naturally curl, 4C, yadda yadda)

Tony pairings I find cute or I actively ship, winteriron of course, stony, pepperony, t'challa and Tony (I see it), clint and tony (platonically), thor and Tony, and that's about it for now. (I guess rhodey and Tony, but also platonic, familial love)

If he has human kids, morgan is the only biological one, Harley adopted (if his mom is alive, then tony is a mentor), Peter, same as harley, miles, same as harley. Anna Marie (rogue), why? Because I think it'd be amazing to see Tony and Rogue just grow together. Tony getting the avengers to help her understand and work with her powers. Especially if tony has extremis, (yes I know that is weird but work with me), and she let's go of the abilities and act. All them and the bots, Tony is a mother hen.

Tony doesn't actively seek to have kids or get married, if it happens and he finds himself feeling safe and comfortable so be it.

I got this from the Fandom and hearing the about the food hiding on set of rdj adventures. Blueberries are his favorite fruit. Veggies I want to say a squash variant. Dish, many.

He can cook and bake but he just refuses too. When he bakes, he makes the thing dessert into something else, on accident.

He can dance, play piano, and sing (Maria. Don't tell me Maria and her side of the family wasn't at least musically inclined).

These are headcanons because I like them. I think they are amusing or add something to his already very interesting and independent character. Little things I suppose. I can do one for steve. I have plenty for him.

[py6oto]

more hlvrai x yume nikki au stuff!!!

this post is gonna have a lot more text than my usual posts. so sorry if you don't want that.

so people seemed to really like my idea (which is really unexpected !! i didn't expect it to gain any attention at all!!! but its also super awesome and im so glad they do!!) so ive been brainstorming a little bit.

heads up i know yume nikki is a very ambiguous game but im pretty new to it so if i happen to get any established information wrong please let me know !? ty !!

anyways. before we do the effects. please take some sprites.

(body horror ((multiple eyes, messed up limbs, gunshot sounds)) under the cut!!! pls stay safe !!! ) (also a huge lore dump. sorry!)

id think this au takes place in a universe where the resonance cascade was real (aka not a game or simulation) and it'd be like, maybe a few months after it. gordon is traumatized as hell and it haunts his subconscious to the point he feels the need to isolate himself completely. he relives his trauma through eerily consistent dream worlds and then dies on a random tuesday. credits roll. audience cheers. wonderful story.

the vision for the sprites is that tommy functions as a "friendly" npc (like monoko and the other girl i forget the name of please forgive me) and benrey functions as poniko, uboa being "xenrey" or essentially messed up alien benrey (the weird...white...blood....world...room...uboa takes you to when you interact with it is simply replaced by xen. that's it. benreys house is a direct gateway to that time gordon fought god and won and isn't that amazing.)

i might remake the "uboa" sprite in the future because i don't really like it right now. im very new to pixel art and imitating YMNK's style is a little hard.

i like to think this imaginary game would have the teensiest tiny bit of dialogue, only when interacting with benrey. when you interact with his "regular" form, he says "you're not supposed to be here." and repeats it every time you interact, not saying anything else.

i know one of the biggest things that makes yume nikki stand out is its lack of dialogue, but listen, i think it would work well!!! seeing as this is the only time a character actually talks to gordon through understandable dialogue (unless i come up with something else!! haha) i think it would be confusing and throw players off because it breaks the pattern of being either ignored or silently acknowledged. someone talking directly to you after hours of isolation is confusing and unpredictable. which is what benrey is. confusing as hell!

im not sure what function tommy would offer, if any, i kinda want him to maybe give gordon an effect (soda effect could work?)

i dont think he'd bring any jumpscares or intentionally unsettling things to the table. seeing as he was the only one by gordon's side when the rest of the team proved itself to be a threat, i think it's logical he'd remember tommy in a warmer light than the others- which is reflected in how instead of unsettling or ignoring gordom, dream tommy simply smiles and gives him the ability to drink a soda any time. soda effect.

does this soda effect make you see faster like tommy said?

as much as i'd love to, no. probably not. because i have no idea what the hell seeing faster means.

maybe you can get a caffeine overdose. if you spam 1 enough times you will get very fast for as long as the soda effect is on. like the bycicle effect, but better, because you can taste it!

but no, it won't help you see faster. i don't know how to translate that sentence into understandable english.

now, coomer and bubby!!!! i apologize very deeply for i have not made sprites for them yet. i promise i will!!! it's just very late today and if i draw anything else i will actually just pass out.

im not very sure what i want for them yet. i think theyd be similar to tommy, but they'd have different functions. maybe they all give gordon different effects. or maybe they scare him! i dunno, i feel like there'd be a certain level of distrust from gordon to the old guys, like, of course he doesn't hate them but itd be hard to remember them super kindly and harmlessly when one of them ruthlessly tried to murder you with 300 clones of himself and the other tricked you into an ambush that cost you your arm, as much as you love them.

also!!! i completely forgot gordon lost an arm when i made his sprite. oops. it's okay its just a very realistic prosthetic

anyways. this post is getting too long so i think I'll save the boomer talk for when i actually post their sprites. its time for EFFECTS !!

i haven't been able to come up with many words yet. but i have some effects and a slight idea of how gordon would earn them.

concept art is beautiful

from left to right (because my handwriting is absolutely hideous!)

SODA - earned by interacting with TOMMY. wherever tommy is??? i dunno! pressing 1 will make gordon drink the soda and earn a temporary speed boost.

CAR??? - part of me really wants to rename this one but it's so funny to me i want to keep it. it's just a car. he literally just whips out a car and starts driving. what a legend. this effect lets him get across water areas faster (even faster than the soda!)

LONG HAIR - literally just gives him long hair. there is no practical use for this. nothing will happen. it just gives him long hair. isnt he beautiful.

ARM - earned by interacting with a dismembered arm found... somewhere.... probably some dark room. you know that effect where madotsuki literally just becomes a head? yeah. this is that but it's an arm because of course it is. this is an opportunity and i will not give it up. there is no use for this either. it just makes him a slow sad lonely arm.

MINIGUN - found by interacting with a certain object in POTION !! WORLD !! YEAHHH!! DARNOLD REFERENCE !!! pressing 1 will let you shoot the hell out of your enemies and make them pay for their sins

SWEET VOICE - found by interacting with any of the orbs in COLOR WORLD. 1 will allow gordon to song a beautiful, colorful song that will soothe any npcs he might have angered and make them stop trying to murder him.

POWERLEGS - MAYBE given by coomer npc? idk! this is all brainstorming and a work in progress! 1 makes gordon jump real high, allowing him to reach otherwise unaccessible areas

GHOST - ghost. he's a ghost. he's transparent. he flies. 1 makes him do a little ooooo noise and all the npcs run away from him because the place is haunted. ghost.

GLASSES - literally just pick up some glasses from the floor. putting them on will uncover a few hidden details across the map that may be necessary for progress ... like a very small and specific set of stairs

SMALL - makes gordon very small. i thought the original effect was super fun so i just kept it unchanged. small gordon. he can clone himself and make a gordon army. small. im thinking he finds it thru a coomer clone that is abnormally small. he interacts. small effect. small!

SHORT HAIR - literally just short hair. gordon can't seem to pick a haircut!

UMBRELLA - ...umbrella. makes it rain. shelters gordon from the rain at the same time. can be used for the same purpose it has in yume nikki which is putting out fires or stopping pre-existing rain.

there's supposed to be more effects and i still need to plan all the worlds and hidden rooms but ........ maybe when the sun is out and i have slept and i can think better !!! let me know whatever suggestions or ideas you guys have. i love hearing them a lot ^_^ thank you if you read all of this!! i promise hlvrai animations are not over this is just an au that has temporarily taken over its okay my content is not changing to yume nikki hlvrai only

gordon no

2023.07.27

[fixinglitg]

My issues with BONNIE (so far)

Hey again.

So today I'm gonna talk about my issues with Bonnie's character now that we're halfway through the season (Eps 16-18 were the latest releases in case you haven't seen so far, there are 33 in total) I'm gonna divide this into categories so if there's something specific you wanna read about the go ahead and skip to that part. I will add a few positives at the end not to seem SO negative, but I do have a good few complaints, mostly after the recent episodes.

As per usual,

DISCLAIMER: this is just my opinion, and you can disagree with me if you'd like to. How I feel about a character doing something might be different for you, and we all have our own preferences.

Now that's out of the way, let's begin.

DESIGN:

Ofc, this part isn't Bonnie's fault, but I personally think her design is borderline horrific.

Her body is a little weird, but mostly okay for the main part compared to Rafael's odd arm situation. But the main part is her head.

Thick brows? Love. But for this character design, I just don't think she's pulling it off.

The hair? It's giving "hmm, this character needs a stereotypical lesbian haircut, but we should make it worse." Like people can pull things off like that and there's probably so many pretty women with this hair. Again, I just don't think it's working out for her.

Her lips. Okay, why does it look like this poor woman has asked for the Kardashian? What plastic is in her lips? Thick lips, again, great. On the right person.

I think her character has good individual features for people in general, but putting them all together onto her and designing it that way doesn't look attractive for me.

There are so many better re-designs I've seen on Reddit, so I'll link a couple now:

Wolfcut Bonnie | Sprite Edit Bonnie | Min Bonnie

Like come on Fusebox. It wasn't that hard to fix her without changing the details too much as these edits show.

OUTFITS:

I mean, why is her fancy outfit literally a bin liner. Like what. I thought MCs style was pretty tragic in recent seasons, but Fusebox actually did this woman dirty with the outfits.

I'm not sure if they played to have her more boyish or what, less feminine seeming, but the outfits just aren't doing it. And I only need one link this time to prove my point.

Bonnie Outfit Edit

Like these outfits are such an improvement?? And it's not even like the creator chose to change the entire thing, they literally kept the basis of it. I- yeah. I don't even wanna talk about this for long, because it hurts as much as Bryson coming out in that one sleeveless top.

So all in all, it would be hard for me to like a character when I don't find them attractive physically. Both their own body and the style of clothing. However, I feel like it'd be unfair to not give a character a chance if they're written well. Yeah, about that...

PERSONALITY:

So I wasn't sure what to title this part, but you'll understand what I mean as soon as I get into this.

At the start of the season, you're able to determine whether or not you wanna have women as an option. Obviously I have no idea if the female LIs still take interest in you (trauma by Dana) if you say you're straight, but I wouldn't exactly put it past Fusebox to disregard that choice immediately.

But as I was saying.

Why is it when I say "oh yeah, I'm into women" the female LI IMMEDIATELY THINKS I'm into her. Like, no babe, sorry but I'm not the one for you.

And I hate that I've rejected her so many times, and put little to no interest in her (sometimes I would say "oh my head's a mess" etc because the other options didn't feel right for me) to the point where it's getting a little annoying to see that stupid ass lip biting sprite, and her trying to flirt with my character when I've said N.O. Of course, other characters do have that issue in the past (and maybe this season, I have no idea because she's the only person I've really rejected) but this is so frustrating to me.

I get shooting your shot but she's missed 50 times and won't stop.

The next thing I really hate might seem little but it's really grinding my gears.

Image by u/thebarbied. Additional text under the post saying "I've never told this girl I was interested in girls so idk why the girl is like this." So I'm assuming OP said they were into men/straight, which means she might be worse off wlw MC.

The thing that annoys me the most is the fact that she looks upset by not being chosen. Now I understand that there could be some people who actually chose her. Or some people that would want to take her instead of their casa partner.

HOWEVER.

When you're like me and have rejected her several times, she has no right to look this upset.

And for me, it felt a little off-putting. It's the hideaway. THE HIDEAWAY. Majority of the time, the hideaway usually involves some sort of sexual thing. Especially in these recent seasons, I feel like Fusebox has really been pushing the kinky side of things onto us with the box of things (massage oil, whipped cream, blindfolds, maybe I'm remembering wrong but I swear there was handcuffs in S6).

And to just have the mere thought of someone being upset for not being picked to go to what I love to call "the sex room" even after being rejected by myself multiple times just makes me uncomfortable.

Now of course, I'd like to add that maybe that wasn't her plan at all and she'd just wanna talk or something.

But let's be honest for a moment, we all know Fusebox. They definitely would've given us the same options of "go all the way, do bits, snog, cuddle/talk" or something along those lines, and I just FEEL the disappointment from not choosing anything but cuddle/talk.

Yet again, I will state that this can be the case for all LIs, or not the case at all, but these are just my thoughts and feelings and this is how I see things at the time of playing.

I just feel like she's getting disappointed over nothing. Like she expects to be picked despite all my choices.

And I'll even link a few posts to people complaining about Bonnie and her character never going. Sidenote: these also include some other characters that I'll touch upon in another post

u/Towerofterrorr wanting Bonnie to leave them alone | u/Emotional_Lobster778 Bonnie Rant | u/Ok-Level_99 telling Bonnie to give it up | u/Smithiexx hated her | u/Dontaskmyname98 wants to be left alone as well | u/twoofakindfinds says "Major ick and also major red flag"

I just wanted to add these so that you could see that other people also think Bonnie is kinda... Icky and creepy I guess.

It is a disease Fusebox give most female LIs though. The "women who are supposed to be bisexual but are constantly in friendship couples with men and beg for the MC to change her mind" bullshit.

Posts by u/Ok_Level_99 (same post as the one listed above in my example)

And this is why I don't like pushy characters. Like I've said before, if you've stated the fact that you do not give a shit about them, why are you still trying? It's just embarrassing by now. Do you WANT me to file a restraining order against you? Like seriously?

I get being jealous and all, but this is honestly the most unattractive thing you can do when someone isn't interested. It's the fact that she STILL believes she has a chance.

And I'm honestly just repeating myself by this point.

There was a lot more I could've talked about, but I decided to leave it there. I think I'll come back to this and make another post of some other shit happens in the remaining 15 episodes.

Hopefully I won't have to deal with this much longer. I just wanna go back to the OG boys.

[thatonebirdwrites]

Thoughts about fandoms and Writing

I suppose this will be a ramble of sorts. I wanted to talk about a sad thing I noticed but also a good thing I noticed about fandoms. This is a ramble, and I hope it all connects into a coherent whole by the end.

I'll start with the question I leave at the end. The question that my writing silently asks all readers:

"Here is a story of a human being that may be different from you, so will you join me at this campfire and hear their tale? To join them on this great journey of wonder, pain, joy, sorrow, and hope?"

One of the things that drew me to various fandoms, and my current one was a sense of connection. A sense of community, but I've also learned that despite this strength, there is an underlying undercurrent of who is allowed to exist in that community.

Part of writing fanfiction is because we want to see more of our beloved characters. To dig deeper into them, to fulfill this need for connection.

Because that's the crux of most things about us human beings, right? We are social beings that live best when we have connections with other human beings. None of us can live in a perfect isolation with no contact with anyone else ever (in fact studies show this is very, very, very bad for our health and can slowly kill us).

Yet, as a disabled person, I find myself stuck in this weird liminal space of seeking connection but sometimes finding instead reminders of how conditional my existence in the space truly is.

I notice that the stories willing to push the envelope a little, to explore what it'd be like if one of our beloved characters was disabled, often get far more harsh comments and far less support.

I've sat back and observed, and the more I interact with fandoms, the more I wonder if there is room for people like me.

I've seen some pushback in various fandoms -- even TLOK -- against people who want to explore our beloved characters in settings that allow for a more diverse intersection of identities. That tackle themes related to disability, gender identity, race, and so forth. To tackle more nuanced Leftist thought (that isn't displayed like a bad thing which TLOK sadly does at times).

This saddens me because that sort of pushback breaks the connection and community of fandoms in a way.

The whole reason I'm writing fanfiction is because I couldn't quite find the story I wanted to read. There's a lot of flaws in Legend of Korra, and I wanted to tackle the stories inherent in it from a different angle. To explore themes left unexplored. But also to show the shared moments Korra and Asami have. (They are legit my favorite couple of all time).

But I just don't feel very comfortable writing smut. I never have, so I'm already an outlier in the fanfiction writer community.

But I've realized of late that I also because an outlier with how I explore disability in my fanfiction.

Honestly Book 3 of TLOK sets the disability theme up, and although it does an excellent job with the PTSD arc, the way the temporary physical disability was handled during Korra's long healing left me quite frustrated because it utilized verbiage that's often used to demonize or deny disabled people support. No, it's not all in Korra's head (we find out later, that she really did still have poison in her, so Korra was right THE WHOLE TIME). No, it's not a mind over matter (this is the most unhelpful thing to say to a disabled person, seriously). No physical therapy can't cure all things. *sighs* I wanted more nuance there, and since it failed to deliver, I decided to write my own.

I also wanted to dig deep into Asami's story too because sadly enough TLOK doesn't give her the attention her and her trauma deserves.

So I have two separate series. One canon-compliant to explore the ramifications of that.

One an AU where Korra and Asami are romantically together by middle of Book 2, where they must navigate Book 3 and the trauma of that together. How do they do it? Can they do it? What sort of disability will they face and how will they deal with that?

I recognize what I write is not what most folks want from the fandom, and I feel like sometimes there is this unspoken undercurrent in the fandom to not really dig into the disability themes inherent in TLOK.

I think this is why commenters literally had a fight in the comments of my Shared Moments: Book 3. I had taken the disability theme in Book 3 (and 4) and made it highly visible. I had foreshadowed this quite thoroughly in all honesty.

I had made it clear from the start of the series that I promised to be realistic about trauma, about physical injuries, and about healing. Sure, I took some liberties in fight scenes to play up some interesting martial art moves that actually exist, but there's always ramifications and consequences.

I think in a way the fight that happened in my Book 3 (at the final confrontation with Zaheer's group) exemplifies the hidden current of ableism within the fandom.

Asami had barely escaped the lavabender and had a fourth-degree burn on the sole of her right foot. Those are when the burn destroys the nerves and can go as deep as the bone. They are quick to become infected if not treated right away, and in Asami's case, there was no way for it to be treated until after the airbenders are rescued. TLOK is set in a technological and medical period similar to 1940s, so the typical solution in that time period is amputation.

I'd carefully laid out details like crumbs for readers to find that heavily hints that this could be one of the possible outcomes.

Nothing about it was surprising.

And yet, two commenters were angry that one of the characters would end up permanently disabled. They utilized a harmful ableist trope, ignored the story up to that point, and demanded I alter the story because they deemed Asami's injury "unnecessary for the narration" and "too much."

Truth is, as much as I tried not to let it hurt me, it did.

Why? Because I'm disabled. I've had injuries due to circumstances where I didn't receive the healthcare I needed in time to prevent the injury and illness from worsening. I've been in Asami and Korra's shoes in a way.

Being told that a story that mirrored my own, that mirrored the lives of so many disabled people is "too much" and "unnecessary for narration" is a vivid reminder of how deep ableism has fallen into the psyche of our society.

Most folks wouldn't consider that ableist, and yet, if the same words were said about queer identities? If someone said that Korra and Asami being bisexual is "unnecessary for the narration" or "too much" there would be riots in the TLOK fandom. (In fact, I sometimes still witness some between Makorra shippers versus Korrasami shippers, where it doesn't seem to matter that Korrasami is canon to the Makorra folks, they get incensed and fall back on biphobic language. Only to be rightly called out for the harm of it.)

So why aren't we standing up for disabled people?

The Legend of Korra is a survivor story. It's a disability story. Complex-PTSD that Korra has is a disability. Acute-PTSD, which is likely what Asami has, is also a disability.

Disability is not bad. It is not evil. It's not too much.

Disability is beautiful. It should be normalized as just part of who a person is. We, disabled people, can do great things despite our disability.

And yet, those commenters couldn't see that.

All they could see was their beloved character would be permanently disabled. Their unconscious bias reared its head, and they lashed out in a way that hurt. (And also angered several other commenters who kindly called them out).

They were angry at being forced to confront the fact that their beloved character was now in the category of "disabled." It required them to relate -- to connect -- to a disabled person as a human being.

That's the moment of truth isn't it?

When someone is forced to relate to another person as a human being worthy of respect and dignity, that is when we discover the true character of a person I think.

Disabled people like myself are often treated like we are sub-human. Like we don't matter, like it'd be better if we ceased to exist. (I can give dozens of examples, but I think how the pandemic is currently being handled is a blatant look at how ableism is structured in our society and how much it harms all of us.)

Society saturates our media with messages of how disabled people are less than, sub-human, unworthy of life, unworthy of being allowd to even participate in society. Often the only way we are allowed to exist at all is if we are displayed as an "inspiration," something for which abled-bodied people to oogle and feel good about themselves for "helping" us "get over" or "cure" our disability, as if our disability is a problem to be solved rather than something that can be both painful but also beautiful. (I often try to see the beauty in my ADHD, my APD, my autoimmune illness. And yes, for LongCovid in particular, I may wish for a cure for my LongCovid, but I can also recognize the beauty within my illness - I see the world differently and that lens allows me to connect in new ways and to show more kindness and love in different ways. That too is beauty).

The harmful messages about disabled people are everywhere, and we often unconsciously absorb them.

I try to do my best to respond with kindness. To even try to educate when I can, but I also have to have a firm boundary because I'm a human being.

I don't have enough energy to tackle educating people about this AND doing what I need to survive.

And for me, writing is survival.

I think the reason it hurt to see ableism at play in the fandom was because I had been thinking maybe I might actually belong to a group for once. That maybe I would be treated as a human being, who has a talent for something.

But seeing the words "too much" and "unnecessary for narration" in the comments, brought out not only my insecurities, but a reminder of just how fucking hard it is to write diverse characters.

I've never written fanfiction before 2021.

I'm a science fiction (and sometimes fantasy) author, though at the moment it's only short stories that have been published.

Do you know how many times I've heard those harmful phrases said while I trying to get my original stories published?

Editors would tell me:

"Your character being nonbinary is unnecessary for the narration." Or "It's too much to have a nonbinary character. You should just choose a gender and we'll consider it."

OR

"Why is this character disabled? It seems unnecessary for the narration. Just eliminate them and rewrite it."

It didn't matter that the disability was crucial to the character and her understanding of the world and how she navigated it. (Or that she was literally the protagonist.)

It didn't matter that the nonbinary person's identity was crucial to their character, their understanding of the world, and how others related to them.

It didn't matter even if it was crucial to the plot.

All that mattered was that the editors were uncomfortable with characters that didn't match the ideal human they decided was the only allowed protagonist.

In a way, they were saying that people like me didn't deserve to have our stories told. To be recognized and seen as protagonists, as human beings to which readers could connect.

Is fandom any different?

Maybe there are readers who enjoy what I write, but sometimes I see so much of the content of fandom, and this intense demand for an ideal form of human, and I don't see myself.

I don't see myself and those like me being accepted as we are. Where we are worthy of connection too.

So I create that representation; I carefully weave a story so everything is set up, foreshadowed, makes sense in the characterization and narration, and I come face to face with the blatant ableism, blatant transphobia, and sometimes even blatant biphobia.

And it's a reminder that even while I try to find comfort and solace and a safe place to recover from my own illness and from the world at large...

... in the end, it's hard to feel like there will ever be acceptance. It's hard to feel like the fandom is willing to treat people like me as a human worthy of respect and dignity.

Because that's the thing, isn't it?

When people see me in my wheelchair, they don't see a person. They see a thing. A sub-human to be pitied. I get touched in ways that would never happen if I was abled-bodied. My wheelchair gets moved in ways that would never happen if I was abled-bodied (that wheelchair is an extension of my body and touching it without my consent is touching me without consent). I get sneers sometimes. I get people staring at me like I'm some carnival show.

It's tiresome. It's hurtful. It isolates.

To have a beloved character end up in a wheelchair, or end up with a prosthetic?

People are forced to face their own ableism. They are forced to see the ugliness they display toward me and those like me. Because now their beloved character is one of my people.

And the anger that is hurled at me for doing this is honestly ridiculous. Exhausting too.

People don't like being uncomfortable, but we cannot grow if we're not uncomfortable. We cannot become better than we were unless we confront the things that break our ability to connect.

i write because I want people to connect. I want people to understand ways of being that is unlike their own, and to come to understand that we are all human beings. We all are worthy and deserving of respect and dignity. We all deserve to be seen and accepted where we are.

Those are the stories I love the most. The ones that build up and not tear down.

And perhaps that is why I will never truly fit in. Because I refuse to sit down and make myself small enough to fit in. Because I prefer to dig into the reality of our differences and how those differences are actually our similarities and our biggest strengths.

It is our diversity that is our strength. It's also how we connect, how we find our similarities, because even in our beautiful galaxy of identities, we all have similar human needs and qualities that shine through.

We are all made of stardust. We are all social beings. We all strive for some level of connection, and although the layers of that may differ for each of us, that human need to connect cannot be truly erased or ignored.

I'll end where I began, with the great question my writings always silently ask readers:

"Here is a story of a human being that may be different from you, so will you join me at this campfire and hear their tale? To join them on this great journey of wonder, pain, joy, sorrow, and hope?"

And honestly, that's why I write.

[insertsomthinawesome]

*pokes head out of the great expanse of information that is the internet* DID I HEAR YOU SAY KAEYA ZHONGLI BESTIES AGENDA do elaborate because I am. I am. in need.

AHAHAAHAHAHAHAH YES YOU DID HEAR CORRECTLY. Look They have so much inherent angst based on Kaeya's origins and Zhongli's orgins. And I'm definitely going to get into some fanon/headcanon territory here. But like- I headcanon that whatever part Zhongli played in destroying Khaenri'ah he feels horrible about it. Meeting Kaeya would be a grenade of emotions for him. Like on one hand: Hey! This guy is a living Khaenri'ahn, maybe i can do small things to pay him for what I've done Not that I could ever total repay it ON the other: OH SHOOT I MESSED UP SO BAD BY HIM I SHOULD JUST NEVER SPEAK TO HIM EVER AND IF HE WANTS ME TO PAY FOR MY CRIMES I WILL. Initially Zhongli would probably just be a good ole formal acquaintance. Being pretty normal about everything (he's good at compartmentalizing and burying pain) except in weird instances where he'd get really intensely invested in Helping Kaeya. Kaeya is like "Okay this dude is strange. Nice! But strange." Eventually the truth would come to light and that would be a mess, not exactly sure how it would go down? I usually play with the idea of Kaeya being pretty angry with Zhongli and softening when he realizes how much Zhongli regrets and how human he is. The start of their actual friendship would be climbing over the hurdle of Zhongli.... well being overly gracious essentially?

Kaeya would have to slap him being like "Dude you need to not bend to my every request for star's sake." Like, kaeya can understand given how much he feels like he messed up, but at this point he genuinely wants to be friends with Zhongli, not have Zhongli be his dutiful archon butler. It'd take a bit for Zhongli to shake the behavior because the guilt complex runs DEEP. Also Kaeya would have to open a lot. Zhongli is old as dirt (ha) So he can probably see through Kaeya waaaay more than he's comfortable with. Zhongli is thankfully not horribly heavy handed? But I can see him being somewhat petty or poking at Kaeya before he's ready.

Kaeya would have the bonus of Zhongli already knowing his Origins! But he would still have to contest with worrying about him flipping out over the spy thing (not to mention Zhongli was the Contracts lord.) Zhongli would also not be super cool with kaeya's more reckless and under-explained stunts. Its probably already somewhat nervewracking for him that most of his friends are mortal. Them making ill-advised decisions would not sit well with him. but with time I think they'd have a beautiful friendship! They're both protectors and have Older Family member vibes (grandpa and older brother) Zhongli would be invested in seeing Kaeya grow past his trauma and the horrible things that happened to him and his people. And Kaeya would be invested in seeing Zhongli live a happy unburdened life (he understands too well holding what feels like the weight of the world.)

And just in general I think the way they can play off of each other is really fun? Just personality wise. They're both really smart but also feel like they'd have a great time discussing stuff over tea, Really random or inane stuff. I imagine they're both kinda fed up with the Anime Plot they're born into xD

I feel like they're both little things people. LIke zhongli going on and on about the flowers being beautiful this morning and Kaeya would just be sitting there like "yeah :]" They realize how much that stuff matters.

Somebody save Zhongli if Hu Tao and Kaeya are in the same room tho. SFDLSDIHGDFIGLDHFGLASIDGHDFG Also they'd both be doing "Woe, therapy be upon ye" at each other SADLFIHSDGLIDFHGDFGHFG

Also both of them adore kids. ;;v;; The capacity they have for understanding each other's pain. Just being the "stop being strong, I know, you can't hide it from me." and "i'm sorry you have this burden, you should've never had it." and "i'm so afraid of what I am harming the people I love." THere could be so much solidarity and comfort and understanding. And conflict and frustration too! I can see them easily being very hypocritical with each other without intending too xD

So yeah! Just their whole deal can be so fascinating and fun, both of them would have so much baggage to work through with each other. And I can see every step of that journey being delightfully fun to dig into and play out in different ways!

[haze-of-hyperfixations]

Hi! 👋 Do you have any lgbt+ hcs for asoue or atwq? 🌈 :)

Hi! 👋

Thanks for the ask!! Here's some of my headcanons:

ASOUE:

Violet - bi. also i think it'd be funny if she had crushes on both Isadora and Quigley, and made some comment about "hey, maybe i have a type. or something." meanwhile her siblings are like. violet. they are identical.

Carmelita - aro. doesn't realize this until way after canon (assuming the entire unfortunate gen survives for the sake of both the post and my feelings) because she genuinely never considers that romantic attraction is like. a real thing. she thinks everyone's just being weird about dating because they're just weird like that. and she's totally better than them anyways, so she doesn't really give it any more thought for a while. she basically avoids the entire self-questioning stage like that, and it isn't until a while after canon, once she's kind of had a redemption arc and kind of formed some kind of connection with other characters, that she's just arguing with someone one day about something to do with romance, and the other character is like. uh. actually that's not universal and i think you might be aro. and she kind of has to process that for a few minutes. but she ends up basically going "oh, so it's not everyone? it's just me? that's awesome." also modern AU Carmelita would make those posts that are like, pink hearts and sparkly, elegant cursive saying stuff like "romance is dead and i killed it." (i just googled it, it's called aro lovecore.) anyways, post-canon aro Carmelita. :)

Isadora - trans girl. and she's unsure of her specific orientation, but knows she definitely likes girls.

Quigley - ace. questioning both gender and romantic orientation, but probably somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella. and possibly bi. listen just let the kid figure stuff out post-canon. where's that post that goes "i'm probably nonbinary but i have a job so idc about that right now". that's Quigley but the job is not dying and processing childhood trauma.

Sunny - post-canon, older Sunny also gets hit by the aro headcanon beam. i just think it'd be really neat.

not a lot of thoughts on the sugarbowl gen, except possibly pan Beatrice Baudelaire and aro Sally Sebald? idk, I think about the unfortunate gen a lot more, ha.

ATWQ:

Moxie - possibly arospec? okay, admittedly i just thought of this headcanon now. but arospec Moxie would add an interesting layer to her dynamic with Ellington and Lemony. especially if you interpret the Lemony/Ellington as onesided, with Lemony being the one with the romantic feelings. because like. platonic jealousy over your best friend's crush (who doesn't reciprocate, but maybe she does, but who even cares? not Moxie.) is an interesting dynamic. because Ellington Feint contrasts her in a thousand narrative, thematical ways that other people could write about better than me. but Lemony's also kind of infatuated with her, and she gets that slightly romanticized place in his narrative that Moxie doesn't. and of course that could lead to additional resentment. and some of it's jealousy, some of it's anxiety, some of it's frustration, but the whole thing could lead to really interesting internal conflict. especially after Lemony leaves, and the other kids have to figure out a new sense of normal after all that. idk. interesting thought.

Ellington - lesbian. also just thought of that one now, so idk. but i've been kind of on the fence for a while about the Lemony/Ellington thing and all it's ambiguity. my current headcanon is that it was onesided on Lemony's side, and that Ellington didn't have any romantic feelings for him. and i need to reread the books, i love them so much and it's been a little while, but yeah, Ellington being gay is a neat concept, i think.

in conclusion, i think basically all of these characters are Very Much Not Straight, but the ones listed were just the first ones i could think of!

thanks again for the ask!! have a great day, and happy pride month!! :)

[mercyburned]

ship bias for stelle and kaeya

♡ stelle ;

dan heng !! the original, the dragon husband. i've pretty much loved these two from the get-go. they're obviously close in canon and i just really love their dynamic. calm bf and raccoon girlfriend? easy win for me.

luka !! honestly they just have similar energy and i think it'd be cute.

jing yuan !! the fanart and in-game text messages kinda won me over on this one. they have some cute interactions in-game. i feel like this one is just very cuddly.

kafka !! there is... so much to unpack here. there is everything. what were they. what did they used to do. why... everything. i'm actually lowkey obsessed with this dynamic and i want to gobble it up.

anyway, stelle deserves a girlfriend

♡ kaeya ;

rosaria !! hands down my favorite ship for him, my otp, especially with the development that's happened with ventium's rosaria. imo, they're two of the best people to understand and acknowledge the traumas they've both faced in a way that works for both of them. kaeya gets uncomfortable and suffocated by too much coddling or softness about what he's been through and rosaria is more tough love than gentle love. it's what he needs. but also, they understand each other's senses of humor and perspective better than anyone else. two peas in a weird little gothy pod.

eula !! two people both dedicated to mondstadt and its people, and outside of it in their own ways. i guess i just really like putting him with outsiders lmao ! for me, this ship is great because eula is so used to judgement, but kaeya's actually very non-judgmental. and to kaeya, eula is someone else who's trying to break free from her past ( even if she doesn't know about his by default ), so he finds her interesting and he enjoys their conversations. i think they can connect over the things that set them apart from others and OOOMPH i just really, really like the potential in this ship.

thoma !! i'm a sucker for childhood friends to lovers, no two ways about it. in my headcanons they were obvs in the same friend group ( kaeya, diluc, jean, thoma, baby sister barbara, etc ) and younger teen kaeya might've had a brief crush; however, everything also obviously had to get buried and put aside when thoma disappeared, life moved on, as everyone came to process their grief that their friend had died somewhere. both have changed as adults … kaeya definitely for the worst … so what happens if they meet?

honorable mentions that i still like the idea of and want to try because i think they'd vibe: navia, dehya, yelan, yoimiya, kaveh

[ohmyejun]

𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 | K.JS

✩... barista!jiseok x gn!reader

✩... 0.8k (i think)

✩... crack, a bit of angst, fluff?, coffee shop au

✩... kidnapping, cursing, spit (NOT LIKE THAT HELP), death if you squint, mention of violence, trauma

✩... barista gaon is STUCK in my brain... enjoy!

✩... You and Jiseok are chilling doing your job until your least favored person walks into the cafè. Jiseok takes matters into his own hands.

⎯⎯ ୨ "Whatever. I definitely served justice..." ୧ ⎯⎯

"I'm just saying, they could've beat your ass if you tried harder. You're not really that hard to beat." He joked but looked down at the cup he was drying nervously, holding back a smile from his own statement. He wasn't careful with his words there, and you were ready to slap the shit out of him.

"Yeah, whatever. You're lucky I'm not beating the shit out of you right now, that's exactly why you won't face me." Which made Jiseok look up at you, setting the cup down and crossing his arms with raised eyebrows and an open mouth smirk. "Who won't face you? You wanna do this right now? In the middle of the cafè?" The cafè wasn't as busy as it normally was, the few customers that were in there had already gotten thier orders, but exchanged weird looks at each other as they watched you two behind the counter.

"I won't embarrass you in front of them today. You're safe." You spoke, causing him to roll his eyes and go back to drying the cup. He continued to lean against the counter as he watched you with only one eyebrow raised as you made yourself some coffee and bit aggressively into a pastry.

"Something on your mind or did I piss you off?" Jiseok had a slight smile on his face, but he was genuinely curious, almost worried. You had that look of stress on your face as you watched a man walk towards the cafè doors through the huge glass windows. His wide eyes met the windows, also watching the man. You bit your lip as the guy walked through the door, Jiseok's eyes switching from the man to you a couple of times before he read the room.

Not too long ago, you had finally gotten the courage to talk to your best friend about what happened a couple of months ago. You were sitting in the hospital, waiting to be able to visit your mom until you suddenly felt as if you were being pulled out of your seat. You came to your senses when you were already outside, about to be stuffed into a man's car, this specific man that just walked into the cafè. The only reason you escaped it before getting into the car was because you realized what was happening and kicked him as hard as you could, running home. You couldn't even see your mom after that. Little did you know, that day would be your last chance to see her. "Hey." You wished you could've taken care of him yourself, but you didn't have it in you.

So Jiseok did just that, he took care of it. As he prepared the man's order, he couldn't help but feel angry. He has the nerve to step foot in a public space, knowing what he did to you and probably many others? Who did he think he was? As he gave the man his order, he gave him the fakest and smuggest smile, knowing exactly what he did to not only the food, but the drink too. He knew you'd be proud of him, or maybe you'd just think he was crazy. Either way, he felt like he served justice in a way.

"YOU SPIT IN ALL OF IT?" You yelled with wide eyes, causing you both to receive more weird looks from the customers. Jiseok laughed nervously as he looked at the other people in the cafè, bowing at them before sighing. "What? He had it coming. Who the fuck does he think he is? Does he not feel guilty about anything? God, I swear I would've hurt him. How can people be so sick?"

"Jiseok, you'd get fired." "But it'd be worth i- Wait... you're worried about me getting fired?" A teasing smirk grew on his face as he crossed his arms, you tolling your eyes. "You know what? Beating your ass doesn't sound too bad right now. I can get another job." His smirk quickly disappeared while yours grew as you began chasing him through the kitchen. You really were grateful for him. Who else would spit in someone's food for you? Not just the food, but also the drink. And not just a little bit. Friends like Jiseok were hard to come by, which is why you always bragged about him to your family. He's done so much for you, and you can't help but feel like you owe him no matter how much he assures you that you don't. Little do you know, you do more for him than he does for you, but that's an argument for another time.