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nataliasquote · 7 months

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Can’t You See This Is Breaking Me? | n romanoff

Summary: Natasha isn’t quite ready to give her entire life for the woman she loves

Warnings: injuries, blood, stitches, no happy ending

wc: 5.2k

note: this idea was given to me by @katyaromanoffpetrova (love you 🤍) and she’s fuelling my love hate relationship with angst. Also, this was so hard to condense, so I’m sorry if it’s lacking detail. I tried to cram three years of a relationship into 5k words :)

-⧗-

It was no secret to anyone how little regard Natasha had for her own life. Even since her very first Shield mission, she’d been a force to be reckoned with, partly down to her pure destructive nature. She didn’t care if taking down Hydra agents meant coming away with a bullet wound or two. Or if destroying an enemy testing laboratory meant four broken ribs and a cracked collar bone. As long as the job was done, that was all she cared about.

Nick Fury was getting tired of how many lectures he had given a young, 25 year old Natasha in his office when he’d read her completed mission report. He knew why she had such a blatant disregard for her life but it didn’t make it any easier seeing one of his best agents beaten and bruised each week. The redhead barely flinched when her wounds were inspected, but to be honest she didn’t really react to anything.

She was more of a ghost really, a pale figure soundlessly walking the halls at night. If her injuries didn’t let keep her awake at night, then the nightmares gladly took their turn, drenching her entire body in a cold sweat and leaving her shivering in her tangled sheets. But if the dark circles under her eyes looked worse, her friend and mentor Clint didn’t utter a word.

The structure and routine that manifested week by week kept her grounded and focused. Wake up, train, eat, surveillance, sleep. Missions were a welcome break from the otherwise monotonous rhythm Natasha had found herself in. She much preferred working solo as opposed to in a team, but Shield was all about team work so she had to suck it up.

A lot of the time she found herself alongside Clint Barton who weirdly offered her a feeling of comfort. She liked how he never pried too much into how she was feeling, or her past, but kept a look out for her whenever they were together. Her icy demeanour slowly melted away thanks to his warmth that he never failed to show her.

He showed her how to let people in, how to not keep her heart so tightly guarded in fear of actually feeling something about someone. And as much as she would hate to admit it, he was right. It did feel better knowing people cared about her. But it also terrified her at the same time. Vulnerability wasn’t her strong suit.

Yet somehow she had managed to let her tough exterior be pushed aside just long enough for a certain someone to wiggle her way in and take up permanent residence inside the redhead’s mind.

Y/n Y/l/n wasn’t really anyone compared to Natasha. Sure, she was a shield agent, and a high ranking one at that, but that was nothing compared to an Avenger. She’d spend years in their shadow, always looking up to Natasha Romanoff. I mean, who wouldn’t? She’s pretty badass.

But the young agent thought her relationship with said Avenger would end at idolisation and daydreaming. She never expected to suddenly be living amongst them in the compound. But when an empty training room was suddenly disrupted at three in the morning, it was a sign things were to change forever.

Y/n relished the silence that the training room at night brought. Most of her colleagues preferred to train in a group at 7am, but insomnia often brought her into the gym a lot earlier. She loved it though; a way to clear her head and exhaust her body whilst maintaining peak physical fitness required in case of a last second mission.

Lost in a world of music playing through her headphones, Y/n failed to notice the door slowly open, caught up in her boxing routine on the punch bag. She should have been more aware of her surroundings, like she’d been trained, so that she didn’t nearly jump out of her skin as a voice cut through her music.

“You’re gonna get a sore back if you keep using the wrong form.”

Without having ever met in person, Y/n would recognise that voice anywhere. She whipped around and quickly pulled her headphones off around her neck, cheeks flushing as she took in the woman in front of her.

A black sports bra and navy sweatpants was all that adorned Natasha’s toned body. She stood there with a hand on her hip, the other holding a small towel, a water bottle and her own pair of headphones. Y/n desperately tore her eyes away from the widow’s toned abs, feeling her own insecurities creep upwards. She itched for her sweatshirt that lay discarded on the bench just out of reach. That was the last time she ever trained in a sports bra.

“You keep twisting your back as you punch. You need to move from your hips.” Y/n just looked at her with surprise, not fully processing that they were having a conversation at all. “Do you want me to show you?”

“Yeah, sure.” That snapped her out of her trance. Y/n took a step back and allowed Nat to place her things down before she packed a swift punch to the bag, sending it swinging slightly on its stand. Y/n couldn’t lie, she looked really good, arm muscles tensed as she threw a few more punches. Her form was impeccable, but of course it was.

“When you swing round you have to rotate your hips for momentum. Just turning from your back will cause injury.” Y/n nodded, mirroring her stance on the punching bag beside Natasha. “Unless you’re doing lots of smaller ones, then you need to keep your hips still. That just comes from your shoulders.”

Nat threw a few more punches before Y/n copied, missing the small smile that broke out on the Russian’s lips as she observed. Fast learner, she noted, nodding in approval as Y/n turned back to her.

“Very good.” She bent down to grab her things, back muscles on full show to Y/n who just could not stop staring. You’d think she was used to the sight of toned bodies after working out everyday, but there was something different about Natasha and she couldn’t quite work it out.

“Thank you. I’m Y/n, by the way. I work in-“

“I know who you are,” Natasha said casually, looking the woman up and down. “You work with Hill. She talks about you.”

Y/n’s eyes went wide. “She does?”

Nat smirked. “Yeah, why? Does she not talk about me?”

“No, she does- we do-“ what happened to calm and collected shield agent she once was? Reduced to a stuttering mess of words in front of a pretty redhead. God, Y/n cursed herself for not being able to talk to women.

“I’m joking, don’t worry.” Natasha gave her a soft smile before walking off to the weights section, her headphones shutting out the world so she could focus.

Y/n however, could not focus on anything except that brief interaction. It was probably so small in Natasha’s life, yet it would consume Y/n for at least a week, if not more. Maria was going to have a field day with this.

Except it wasn’t small in Natasha’s life. The flustered agent had left quite a mark and Natasha found herself creeping down to the gym at 3am most mornings, hoping to see the woman she’d grown to love so much. And, more often than not, Y/n was there, punching away at the bag and pausing when Nat came in.

Over a course of many weeks, both had changed their training plans to match each other. It felt nice working out with another, Natasha had to admit, and Y/n was so easy to talk to she set the redhead right at ease. They talked and laughed and Y/n noticed how the usually uptight Russian had come out of her shell a lot more since that very first night.

However, one night didn’t go so smoothly. Y/n was in the training room first, of course. She sat on the bench and adjusted her socks, keeping herself busy until Natasha arrived. The past couple of nights had been just her as the redhead had been on a mission, but Maria informed her that she would return tonight, so Y/n anxiously awaited her return. She was more worried about Natasha than she let on, but they had no relationship outside of those four walls so she bounced her knee, willing her new friend to walk through the doors.

And she did. Except this wasn’t the confident Natasha she usually knew. No, this Natasha was walking stiffly, almost as if she was in pain.

“Nat?” Y/n asked, standing hesitantly at the sight of her. Small cuts and bruises littered her face and what skin was exposed under the neck of her tactical suit. Agents always had to report to medical following their return from a mission, but by the looks of Natasha, she hadn’t done that. “Why- what are you doing here?”

“Can’t miss training with my favourite girl, now can I?” She tried to sound upbeat but it fell flat, her pain evident even in her voice.

Y/n pushed aside the butterflies that erupted in her chest at those words and sprung up to help her, guiding Natasha to the nearest bench and forcing her to sit. She took note of how Natasha’s hand tightly clutched her side and she feared the worst.

She thought for a second, feeling Natasha’s eyes all over her face. “May I…?” She gestured to the zip on Natasha’s suit and the redhead nodded, stiffly manoeuvring her arms out of her sleeves as Y/n tugged it down to her waist. The agent had switched to processional mode and ignored how close Natasha’s bra clad chest was to her face as she inspected her side.

“What happened?” She asked, crouching down with a hand gently resting on the redhead’s knee as she gently felt the skin around the wound.

“Some stupid agent snuck up on me and threw his knife. Shit aim though.” Of course she tried to make a joke, but Y/n wasn’t laughing as she looked into her eyes. The redhead almost wanted to roll her eyes, and she would have done if anyone else looked at her with pity like that, but Y/n was different. Safer.

“Why didn’t you go to medical?”

Nat looked down, averting her eyes. “I didn’t want to. I hate it there.”

Y/n knew not to push. She didn’t know much about Natasha’s past but knew enough to know that it must have been horrific to endure. She sat back on her heels and bit her lip in thought.

“Will you let me sort it? I keep a suture kit and supplies in my bathroom.” She caught Natasha’s eye and gently squeezed her knee, trying to establish enough trust between them to let her accept the help. But Natasha was stubborn, so there was truly no way of knowing which way she’d swing.

“Ok.” That was not the expected answer but Y/n was happy to hear it. She knew not to help Natasha up, the redhead probably would have punched her, so she collected her things and led them both back to her apartment, walking a bit slower than normal to help Natasha keep up.

Her room was nothing special and probably looked identical to Natasha’s as they both had Shield issued rooms. Although Natasha’s would be fancier thanks to Tony Stark and his upgrades.

There were no personal items on any of the surfaces, not even in the bedroom. Natasha looked around with a frown, not liking how bare everything seemed. Not homely, that’s for sure. Even the bedside cabinets were empty, not even a picture frame for decoration.

“Take a seat anywhere, I’ll be right out.” Natasha chose the couch by the small coffee table and sank down onto it. The couch wasn’t anything special and neither was the table, ring marks displaying its age and use on the surface. The overhead light was dim but brightened up as Y/n stepped back into the room, a medical kit tucked under her arm.

She worked in silence, only broken by a hiss of pain from Natasha as the alcohol stung her wound. Y/n muttered an apology under her breath but kept working, fingers brushing gently over the soft skin as she made light work of stitching it closed. They weren’t the neatest but they’d do the job just fine.

“Thank you for this,” Natasha spoke into the silence, her eyes fixed on her fingers that rested on her lap. “You didn’t have to.”

“Maybe not, but I wanted to. I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

Natasha stayed silent for a moment, trying to organise her thoughts. She had people who cared about her, the Avengers, but not quite like Y/n had. She didn’t care who Natasha was, or how well she could take down enemies. She just enjoyed her presence and cared for her as a human being, something she rarely felt like she was.

“Can I make this up to you?” She tentatively asked, the strong Black Widow now a weird mess of nerves. What even was this?

“No, you don’t have to-“

“Come out with me on Saturday, into the city. Can I buy you lunch?”

Y/n stifled her smile and hid her face whilst packing up her equipment. She knew Natasha was asking her out on a date, albeit in a very roundabout way. It warmed her heart though, seeing her so soft. It was a side very few people ever got to see.

“Ok, sure. I’d really like that.”

Natasha smiled. “Now I know where you sleep, I’ll come pick you up.”

Y/n scrunched her nose at the odd phrasing. “You had to make it weird.”

“You know me,” she replied with a wink.

~~~

That date was a catalyst for many more to follow, and many midnight training sessions too. It took six more months of flirting and secret meet ups before Natasha pulled her heart out and wore it on her sleeve, asking Y/n to be her girlfriend.

The agent wasn’t stupid, of course she said yes. And at first their relationship was purely in the honeymoon stages; sneaking kisses in the hallway, comforting touches underneath the table, more midnight training and also moving in together. Natasha’s apartment was bigger than Y/n could ever have imagined and she adored the bed, starfishing face down on the mattress the first time she saw it.

But that was two years ago. Sure, they were still very much in love but something had shifted between them, creating a rift that Y/n had started to notice more and more. She knew what was causing it too.

Natasha was going on missions every other week, for days at a time. And she’d fallen back into her old habits, putting the job and the result over the safety of herself. More times than not did she come battered and bruised, open wounds bleeding as she walked into the bedroom. Y/n begged her to stop, to stay home more, to reduce the amount she went on even just to one a month, but her desperate attempts were met with a slammed door and a wall in Natasha’s mind. But she still persisted, trying again the next time Natasha came home. But it was useless.

Y/n always waited up for her though, the nerves of what state Natasha would be in when she returned making sleep pretty much impossible. Whatever she imagined, somehow it was always worse. She used to quiz Natasha as she led her into the bathroom and patched her up, placing kisses on each bruise that she found.

But now they barely said a word, Y/n almost running on autopilot as she cleaned cuts on Natasha’s back for what felt like the millionth time. It was draining her, anyone could see that, and being on edge all the time had made Maria notice.

“Take a week off to clear your head,” her supervisor had ordered, not taking any protests into consideration. “I don’t want to see you in this office before next Thursday, Y/l/n.”

A week off would have been great for anyone else but her. Natasha was away, again, which left Y/n with no ways to fully distract herself like she usually did to cope. She spent the first day in bed, holding onto Natasha’s pillow as her tears soaked the pillowcase. She hated how out of control she felt when Natasha was gone. It was her job, yet Y/n often wished Nat would retire, or at least pull back from constantly being in the field. But that’s what her girlfriend loved, so she had no choice but to respect it.

But on the third day of very little sleep and increasing stress levels, Y/n hit breaking point. She stared at her ghostly reflection as she splashed her face with some water, trying desperately to snap herself out of the lie she was feeling. But under the glaring lights all she could focus on were the heavy bags under her eyes and her discoloured skin, pink blotches littering her cheeks and forehead. She’d been picking at her skin to cope, but it did nothing but make her look worse.

She remained a zombie all day, curling back under the covers at 7pm to shut out the world. There was no telling when Natasha would return but part of her didn’t want it to be yet. She didn’t want to see the state she was in, the mess that she’d have to clean up. She loved Natasha, she really did, but with no contact allowed on her missions and no updates from the team, Y/n was starting to question if their relationship was even working.

She flicked off the light and turned to face the wall, images flashing in front of her as she worried herself stupid about her girlfriend. What if she wasn’t coming home? What if she’d been kidnapped? What if-

The apartment door opened.

Y/n held her breath, pulling the covers tightly under her chin as she waited. She knew the sound of Natasha’s footsteps based on her different moods, but the assassin stepped so lightly it was hard to tell. She felt footsteps getting closer and closer and she squeezed her eyes shut, not wanting to face the horrors to come. She wanted one more blissful moment, but her heart was racing in her chest and her throat was getting tight.

The bedroom door opened.

Light from the living room flooded in through the small gap as Natasha stepped through, brows furrowed at the darkness. It wasn’t that late, but maybe she’d missed something. Wasn’t like she was around much.

“Y/n?” She whispered, not wanting to turn the light on. But she didn’t need to worry about that when suddenly the room was bathed in light. Her girlfriend was sat up in bed, eyes blotchy as she stared at her with a hand on the light switch. “What happened?”

“What hurts?” Y/n asked, sliding off her side of the bed and padding over to the bathroom. “Stitches? Probably bruising too.” She was talking to herself more than Natasha, hands working to gather her supplies. But she was stopped when a pair of rough hands gathered hers inside them, tugging her away from the sink. “What are you doing?”

“I’m ok,” Natasha said, removing one of her hands to gently cup Y/n’s chin, tilting her eyes to meet her own. “Just a couple of bruised ribs, but that’s nothing.”

“At least let me look at them.” Natasha knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer so she unzipped her suit and pulled it to her waist, revealing the nasty colourful sight. It was swollen and tender and Y/n cursed under her breath. She grabbed the tiger balm and gently applied it, trying to steady her shaking fingers as they touched Natasha’s skin.

“How have you been? How’s work?”

“Its fine, thanks.” Y/n wasn’t going to admit that Maria made her take a week off. She avoided Natasha’s gaze as she worked, even though there wasn’t much she could do for bruised ribs. “I’ll get you an ice pack when you’re dressed.” That was Natasha’s dismissal cue and she took it, but not without lingering in the doorway to watch Y/n for a moment.

By the time Natasha was dressed in an oversized t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, Y/n had wrapped the ice pack in a towel and handed it to her. There was an uneasy tension between them and Natasha could see something was on Y/n’s mind, just waiting to be said.

“Y/n-“

“This is your last one, right?” She couldn’t help herself but blurt out. Somehow she found the confidence with her back to Nat, sitting on her side of the bed. “Please tell me it’s your last one.”

“Of what?”

“Your missions, Natasha.” She bent one knee and tucked it beside her as she turned her body to face Natasha who was still standing in the middle of the room, ice pack pressed to her ribs. “How many times are you going to keep doing this? Coming home in a state! I never know if one day you’re just not going to come home at all.”

Natasha bit her bottom lip. She knew this was going to happen, it always did. And shutting Y/n down didn’t exactly get easier with practice. “Don’t do this again Y/n, please. You know what my answer is.”

“No, Natasha. I’m not gonna accept that anymore. I’m not asking you to quit all together. I just mean reduce the number you go on, take up desk work or surveillance, just something, anything, to get you out of the firing line.” Y/n ran her hands over her face, trying to keep herself together. But the more she spoke, the stronger her emotions got. “I can’t live like this anymore!”

Natasha had placed her ice pack on the bed, not feeling the need to hold it up right now. She couldn’t move, even though she wanted to run to Y/n. “I know you don’t like it-“

“I hate it.”

“Ok fine, you hate it,” she held her hands up in defense. “But that doesn’t mean I suddenly have to stop.”

Y/n stood up from her position, not wanting an ache in her back from turning so much. She and Natasha were now at eye level although the redhead’s stoic face was a lot more composed than her own.

“You’re not listening to anything I say. I never said you had to stop. Ever. Because that would be hypocritical coming from me.” Natasha pulled a ‘sounds about right’ face which Y/n just ignored. “I’m just asking you to reduce the amount you go on. Once a month, maybe? You can still be in the action, still do everything you love, but that way you’re safer and you’re here more. I hardly see you.”

Natasha shook her head. “Our line of work isn’t safe Y/n, even you know that surely.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She was getting defensive, having reached her limit of Natasha trying to shut her down.

Natasha was too stubborn to give up, even when she knew she fucked up. She just couldn’t let it go. “You rarely leave this place! Always stuck in the same office, the same four walls going insane every day! I don’t know how you do it! I’d rather quit than do that.”

“I do that because I can still contribute to the missions without the risk of getting blown to hell,” Y/n spat, taking full offense to Natasha talking down about her job. Sure, she didn’t go into the field as much as the other agents but she preferred to be in the chair, handling everything from above. “And you know damn well those missions you love don’t work without someone like me.”

“And that’s great, for someone like you. But I can’t do that, you have to understand me. I can’t be behind the fight, I have to be in it.”

“No one else goes on as many as you do, Natasha. Don’t you think that just once, someone else can take a mission-“

“I don’t care Y/n!” Natasha may be a passionate person but she never raised her voice. So her elevated tone made Y/n’s jaw clench, her innate response whenever someone shouted at her. “You don’t get to dictate my life! That wasn’t our agreement-“

“Agreement? What, so this is, are we some kind of, I don’t know, contract that you’re obliged to?”

Natasha scoffed, her eyes rolling back at the pure ridiculousness of her statement. This whole argument was pointless really but she entertained it, too stubborn to give in or let Y/n win. “Oh come on, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m just sick of lying here in fear every week wondering if you’re actually going to come home or not! I can’t keep doing this Nat.” Y/n was having a hard time keeping Natasha in her vision as tears blurred in her eyes. But she wouldn’t let them spill. Crying meant Natasha won and she was done with backing down.

“We can’t keep having this conversation, Y/n,” Natasha grunted, running her fingers through her hair and tugging out the messy braid. “You know I can’t stop. This is my life, it’s what I was made to do. I can’t live without this job!”

“And I can’t live without you!” Her voice cracked and a tear slipped down but she fought the urge to wipe it, praying Natasha didn’t see. But she did see. Of course she did. The Russian noticed everything.

Natasha went silent. That was the last thing she wanted to hear. In this line of work, relying so heavily on someone wasn’t a good idea. She knew that, it had been drilled into her since she was a child. But Y/n didn’t, and that’s where she slipped up.

“Don’t say that.” Heavy emotions and Natasha Romanoff didn’t really mix well. “You have to, one way or another. You can’t just rely on me Y/n.”

“Nat, I am in love with you but lately it feels like all you care about is your job. When is it going to feel like you actually want to be here? With me?”

“I do Y/n, I do-“

Y/n dropped her head. “I know there’s a but coming.”

Natasha looked at the defeated form of her girlfriend and winced. She never thought she’d ever be in the position where she had to choose between family and her job. But she knew what her choice would be, what it always had been. Long before she even had a family.

“This job means everything to me. I didn’t choose this life, like you did, I was forced into it. It’s part of who I am, and I can’t just stop doing that to be with you.” The second those words fell from her lips Natasha knew that was the wrong thing to say.

Y/n adjusted the collar of her shirt and started to pace. If she was sitting down her leg would have been bouncing all over the place.

“What, that’s it? You’re just gonna call this whole thing off because you can’t take a break from your job?”

“What ‘whole thing’?”

“Us, Natasha! Us!” Y/n stopped in her tracks, gesturing between them both. They were on opposite sides of the room, a clear divide in space and opinion. “Unless there isn’t an ‘us’ anymore. Maybe I’m just the girl who keeps your bed warm and stitches you up in the middle of the night, no questions asked. Occasionally gives you head if you are really in the mood-“

“Stop it Y/n.”

“Stop what? It’s the truth, isn’t it? That’s all I am to you.”

“‘No, you’re so much more.” Natasha’s fingers were fidgeting with each other and they’d stumbled across a small cut on her palm that they were now playing with, the pain trying to keep her grounded. “But you have to understand that I can’t just take a step back. I love this job more than anything because I actually get to do something good with my skills that have been used for the opposite my whole life. I just need you to understand that, please!”

“You’re not gonna stop, are you?” Natasha just stared at her, chewing on her bottom lip. “No matter what, you will keep coming back here in a mess and I will keep fixing you up and we will keep having this conversation. Is there an end to this?”

“I won’t come here then.” Natasha stated simply, eyes darting momentarily to the bathroom door. “I’ll go to medical, where I should be.”

“You hate it there.”

“You hate me here.”

Y/n sighed, her breath shaky. This was the longest they’d ever fought for, and fighting Natasha was mentally exhausting. She had an answer to everything.

“I don’t hate you here, I just wish you’d fucking listen to me for one goddamn second!” Natasha nodded, almost challenging her to speak.

“I am.”

“I didn’t want to say this, but you haven’t exactly given me much of a choice. It’s me or the job, Nat. You choose. And you know what? If you choose me, you still keep half your job! But if you choose the job, you don’t get to keep half of me.” The last part sounded stupid but Natasha knew what she meant. She only had half of Y/n right now. The half that slept in her bed and fixed her wounds. If she chose her, she’d get the other half she fell in love with back.

But she couldn’t, could she? Natasha looked down, not wanting to watch Y/n’s face respond. “I’m sorry…”

“Get out.” It was barely a whisper but Natasha heard it. “Get. Out.” Y/n didn’t want Natasha to see her cry but when their eyes met again, Y/n’s were flooded with tears. She didn’t care, how could she when the green ones staring back at her were so cold. Natasha didn’t say a word, only grabbing her sweatshirt and slipping out of the room. The faint jangle of her keys sounded as the door slammed shut and only then did Y/n allow her walls to come crumbling down.

She collapsed onto the bed, only this time hugging her own pillow close as she choked out her sobs. They echoed around the room and her gag reflex kicked in from how hard she was crying. But all she could see was Natasha’s emotionless face staring back at her, not a hint of remorse visible in her eyes.

Reaching to flick off the light, Y/n caught sight of something that made her cry harder. Her bedside table hadn’t been empty for two and a half years. A single picture frame now sat there. And it was in that moment that Y/n wished it had just stayed empty.

#natasha romanoff #fanfic #marvel #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow #natasha romanoff x female #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x female reader

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heavyhitterheaux · 2 months

Text

All Mine

Synopsis: Jack wants to be more than friends with benefits when he sees you hanging off another person's arm. When he tells you this, you tell him that he has to prove it to you and show you that you're the only one for him.

Pairing: Jack Harlow x Reader

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

Staring down at your phone, you sighed to yourself noticing it was now 2 in the morning and you hadn't been to sleep yet. It was bothering you since your alarm was set for 6 am in order to go to the gym and get ready for work. Next thing you knew, a text message came through on your phone. It had that familiar ringtone that you loved hearing so much. It had been a few days since you had heard it and immediately became excited.

Jack- Baby girl, you awake? I wanna facetime you

Not even bothering to respond to his text, you simply called him while reaching over to turn on your bedside lamp so that he would be able to see you as you sat up against the headboard and waited for him to answer. Once he saw your face he immediately smiled and a slight blush danced on his cheeks.

“What are you doing, pretty girl?”

“Can't sleep and I saw your text. Even though my alarm is set for 6 am.”

“Why? You miss me too much? You need to be with me to fall asleep easier?” He asked and you immediately rolled your eyes

“Don't push it because I’ll hang up on you.”

“You're starting to bicker with me so yeah, my original thought confirmed. You miss me.” He replied as he winked at you.

“Shut up. But maybe a little.” You confessed while showing him how much with your fingers.

“I know it's more than that, but I'll let you slide this time. I have something to tell you though.”

“You're bringing me tacos when I get off of work later? Or you just jacked off to that picture I sent you earlier?”

“I'll have it delivered to your condo later, but no. And also no, it was a gorgeous picture though. I'm waiting until I see you in person.”

“Then what?”

“I wanted for you to hear this from me before you heard it from anyone else.”

“Okay….”

“I'm performing at Preakness this year. I'm headlining. So I get to come and see you.”

“Wait… seriously?” You asked as you did a double take and looked on with wide eyes.

“They're going to announce it tomorrow.”

“First off, I'm so proud of you and I think I miss you a little more than I let on earlier.” You told him as you smiled.

“So that means you're excited to see me?”

“Fine. Yes, I admit it. But you already know that I'm always excited to see you.”

“I'm getting there like a day earlier and staying for a few days to be able to spend time with you before I go back to Louisville. You coming to Gazebo? You can stay with me if you are.”

“You said my VIP ticket was waiting for me so that's obviously a yes. And I have a special outfit for your eyes only after your performance on Sunday.”

“Hmm, I like the sound of that. Can I have two special outfits for both weeks?”

“Don't push it. But I'll think about it.”

“I'll take that. At least I made my request known. Now go and get some sleep. Your tacos will be delivered once you tell me you're back home.”

“Mmm, can't wait.”

“To see me or the tacos?”

“Well, I'm getting the tacos first so definitely tacos.”

“Hmm, we'll see about that when I have you whimpering underneath me.”

“Make sure you back all of this up once you see me.”

“I'm always good for my word. You know that. Just wait.”

—

It was the day of Preakness and Jack was fuming. He had spent the previous night with you since he had landed all for him to open up Instagram to see you posted a picture of you cuddled up with someone who wasn't him while holding a drink in your hand.

He could tell that you were already at Pimlico by the background since he saw trainers and horses passing by.

Was he missing something?

The night went well as you two spent time together with it ending with you underneath him.

You two hadn't argued or gotten into a disagreement so he didn't understand.

He was taking some time to cool off because the last thing he wanted to do was confront you about it and not be in a good headspace. Jack planned on sending you a text to come backstage to see him before his performance so that way you two could discuss this and get on the same page. He had already let his security team know to expect you and to not give you any problems.

The two of you spent a lot of time together so why would you suddenly be hanging off of someone else's arm?

When you had gotten a text from Jack, you immediately smiled and wondered where he had been the majority of the day since you were under the impression that he was going to get to Pimlico early in order to watch the race.

Jack- Come backstage and see me before my set. I told them to let you through.

You- Sure, bubs. Give me a few minutes.

Knowing that Jayden was a big fan of Jack, you turned to him to see if he wanted to join you.

Jayden had worked alongside you for a few years and the two of you had become good friends. He simply asked to go to Preakness with you since he knew that you went every year. You figured since you probably couldn't ask Jack to be your date because you knew how much he valued his privacy and that Jayden was your best option. The two of you did mess around with other people and you knew if the two of you stepped out together there was no coming back from it and the other people you talked to would be blowing up your phone with no end in sight.

“Hey, come walk with me for a second.”

“Sure. Where are we going?”

“To see a friend of mine. I think you'll like him.”

“Okay, lead the way.”

The two of you had gotten up from your table in VIP to start heading towards the stage for Preakness Live. At that moment you were thankful for the hat that you were wearing because it had started to lightly rain. Once backstage, security had let the both of you through and led you over to Jack who had an unreadable look on his face.

“Hi bubs!” You greeted Jack and hugged him as he gave a small smile that almost seemed forced and hugged you back.

“Hey, who's this?” He asked as he moved his head in Jayden's direction who looked a bit star struck.

“Jayden, this is Jack and Jack this is my date Jayden.”

“Nice to meet you man, big fan.” Jayden confessed as he came closer towards Jack and dapped him up.

“You too. Appreciate it.”

“Once he heard that you were performing, he wasted no time in asking me to go. Jay, can you get me another drink and I'll meet you back in VIP?”

“Yeah, what did you want?”

“Another Black Eyed Susan is fine.”

Nodding his head, Jayden started to make his way towards the bar and Jack waited until he was out of earshot to express how he felt.

“What was that?” He asked and you looked at him confused.

“What do you mean, bubs?”

“To be more specific, who the fuck is that?” Jack asked as he saw Jayden walk away from the bar and went back to where your table was on the side of the field.

“Jayden? I definitely just introduced the two of you.”

“You didn't tell me that you were bringing a date…. You knew that you were going to see me so what is up with that? I literally just had you sitting on my face last night and my dick was definitely down your throat. Make it make sense.”

Quickly growing annoyed, you looked at Jack in disbelief about what he had just said and calmly took another swig of your drink before you responded to him.

“I'm not your girlfriend so what the fuck are you so mad about?”

“Yeah, but….”

“But nothing, Jack. You can't be mad if you see me with someone else who isn't you. You made it clear from the very beginning about what this was and I distinctly remember you saying this was a friends with benefits situation. You miss me, you fly me out, you get bricked up, we fuck, and I go home. Don’t try and switch up on me now when this is what you asked for.”

“What if I now want more than I asked for? I don't want to see you with anyone else.”

“I'm going to stop you before you get too far ahead of yourself and before your feelings get hurt. After all, I have a date to get back to.”

“Y/N, wait!”

“No, I'm not waiting. If you really want me like you say that you do, then you need to prove it. Have a good show.” You gave him a small smile before placing a kiss on his cheek that was dangerously close to his mouth before turning on your heels to go back to Jayden. But before you could, Jack turned you back around and roughly kissed you before leaning down to whisper in your ear.

“Challenge accepted.”

Preakness came and went and ever since you had told Jack about how you felt regarding how he approached you about Jayden, he's taking the time to show you that he wanted for you to be in a relationship with him.

Even though it had only been a week, Jack had been sending you flowers, checking in on you and seeing how your day was, and giving you an increased amount of attention.

Truth be told, you didn't know how to feel. There were so many questions running through your head about how the two of you would make this work. First, he lived in Louisville and you lived in Baltimore. He traveled all the time based on what his job entailed and was constantly on the go. You just weren't sure how he would be able to fit you into any of that.

The distance in itself made you the most nervous. The last thing that you wanted to do was waste his time and waste yours. Jack was an amazing person and you knew that he deserved someone on the same level as him. But, you just weren't sure if that person was you.

Currently packing for Gazebo Fest since you promised him that you would still go made you think that you had to tell him sooner rather than later. You deserved happiness too and as much as you might want it to be with Jack, you simply didn't know if you would be able to keep up.

Jack was sending a private jet for you and he told you that you were more than welcome to stay with him while you were in Louisville. You would use this weekend in order to tell him how you felt and would wait until Gazebo Fest was over in order to not bring his mood down. But you knew as soon as you touched down in Louisville that he would be able to tell that something was wrong.

Jack was currently waiting for the jet to land and he was simply in front of the TV in his living room flipping through channels while Urban and Clay were keeping him company until you got there. Urban had noticed that Jack had been off since Preakness and he knew that he had seen you and made a point to ask him about it.

“What is going on with you?” Urban piped up and asked. Jack looked in his direction and Clay’s eyes were on Jack.

“Y/N bought a date to Preakness and when I confronted her about it she told me that I couldn't get mad because we weren't together. She said if I want to be in a relationship with her, I have to prove it.”

“But don't you currently have like five girls in your rotation INCLUDING her?”

“Not since she told me.”

“But, do THEY know that?” Clay asked as he opened his bag of chips.

“I… what's to know? If I'm not calling them back, I obviously don't want to deal with them.” Jack replied as he looked at both of them.

Urban and Clay exchanged looks with each other before sighing because they both knew that this was not about to end well.

“So, you just suddenly had this realization that you want Y/N to be your girlfriend?”

“Yes.”

“Or was it simply because you saw her with someone that wasn't you and got jealous?”

“Uh, maybe a little.”

“Don't get into a relationship that you're going to end up regretting. Y/N's a sweet girl who doesn't deserve the run around from you. Out of all of them, I like her the best.” Clay told his older brother and he could tell that the wheels in his head were turning.

“It honestly just might be easier for you two to just be friends with benefits.”

“But I don't want to share her.”

“But, she was sharing you with other girls, was she not?”

“Uh, that's different.”

“No it's not. You were being a whore and got mad at the thought of her probably fucking someone else.”

“Look, I'm going to prove to her that she's the only one I want. She's the one that I know the best and talk to the most. Like I talk to her about real shit while she calls me out on my bullshit and tells me if she thinks I'm doing something wrong. I can't do that with the other ones. She's the only one who really understands me. And she's the only one I spend money on to fly out to places. The other girls simply keep my bed warm when I'm away from her.”

“All I'm saying is that you better hope that this doesn't blow up in your face and you need to tell those other girls that you're done with them.”

“I'm not going to tell them just yet just in case me and Y/N don't work out.”

“And there it goes.” Clay quietly said and Jack looked at him confused.

“What?”

“Red flag number one.”

—

When Jack had opened the door and saw you standing there, he immediately picked you up and hugged you as you tightly held him back.

“Hi bubs.” You said as you laughed.

“Hi.” He finally told you once he set you down on your feet.

Once you were fully inside, he immediately captured you into a kiss and deepened it as you wrapped his arms around you.

When the two of you finally broke apart, Jack had rested his forehead on yours and you simply placed another kiss on the tip of his nose.

“I see someone missed me even if it hasn't even been a week yet.”

“You know how much I love being around you and I'm not scared to admit it unlike other people.” Jack said as he eyed you.

All you did was laugh and shake your head at him before asking for another kiss.

“Shut up and give me another kiss since you missed me so much.”

“I can give you a lot more than that if you want me to, that is.” Jack replied as he leaned down to place several kisses on your lips.

“As much as I want to sit on your face right now, you already told me that you had to get up early tomorrow so no. We need to go to sleep seeing as it's already almost midnight.”

“Just one taste?”

“No and besides aren't you supposed to be courting me anyway? Take me to dinner first before trying to get in my pants.” You told him and you still had your tight hold on him.

“Hmm, you have a point, but I've already tried and already succeeded in that department.”

“I'll make one exception for Sunday night after your performance that I know is going to be amazing. But until then, no. But I am definitely going to make myself comfy in your bed.”

“By all means, please do.”

“Oh, one more thing.”

“What's that princess?”

“Will me sleeping naked bother you? It's super hot.” You told him as you smirked and he instantly rolled his eyes.

“Seriously?”

“I love picking with you.” You told him as you laughed and pinched his cheek.

Day one of Gazebo had been amazing and Jack had been so happy throughout the day. You made sure to tell him how proud you were of him and how much his hard work was paying off. The two of you woke up on Sunday to gloomy skies outside which was the complete opposite of the day before and Jack immediately got a frown on his face.

“Well that doesn't look good.” He said as he stared out the window.

You quickly came up beside him to look out the window yourself.

“Hopefully it clears up. It's still super early. Come on, I’ll make us food.” You told him as you tugged on his hand.

He was hesitant in turning around to face you, so you tugged on his hand once more to get him to follow behind you.

“Bubs, staring outside isn't going to change how it looks. Come on.”

“I know, but what if…”

“No. Stop. We aren't going to think like that. Let's just wait and see, okay?” You told him as you gave him a small smile. He weakly smiled back at you before following you downstairs towards the kitchen.

As you were sipping your orange juice and sitting on the couch with your legs in Jack’s lap after you two had eaten, you heard him sigh as he stared down at his phone.

“I don't like that sigh so start talking.” You told him as you set your glass down and gave him your full attention.

“The team is telling me to delay opening the gates.”

“For how long?”

“I guess until the weather lets up outside.”

“Okay, don't get upset just yet. Remember that this is for everyone's safety. The last thing you want is for people to get hurt. We can just have a movie marathon until they open. I'm not complaining because I get to spend more time with you and have you all to myself.” You told him as you leaned over to pinch his cheek.

“I just don't want to let anyone down.”

“Jackman, would you rather your fans be safe or get hit with a lawsuit later after you were told it wasn't safe, but the gates opened anyway because someone got hurt?”

“Okay, I get it.”

“Good, now I want cuddles so come over here.” You told him as you moved closer and slid onto his lap.

“Either way, you should still be proud of yourself for making this happen.”

When the decision was made to ultimately cancel the rest of Gazebo, Jack was obviously upset and for good reason. He took some time to sulk and then came up with the idea to take you out on a proper date.

The two of you had been sitting across from one another at the restaurant enjoying spending time together when you told him that you were going to the bathroom to fix your makeup.

As Jack was waiting for you to come back, he played on his phone and suddenly hearing his name being called startled him.

“Jack? Did you suddenly forget how to answer your phone?”

He looked up to see Sierra, one of the many girls he had been hooking up with before he decided that he only wanted to be with you and the only thing he could think was

Oh, shit

“Um, hi to you too Sierra and no. Just been busy that's all.”

“Hmm, busy dodging my calls I see. Then who are you here with? Because obviously you did.”

“Why does that matter? Aren't your friends waiting for you?”

“Hmm, why do you ask? Don't want her to see me?” She asked as she leaned down to whisper in his ear and he immediately backed up.

“Sierra….” Jack said through gritted teeth as he saw you appear from the direction of where the bathrooms were.

“Oh, is that her?” Sierra asked as she followed Jack’s gaze. You didn't notice her because you were fixing the front of your dress before walking back to meet Jack at your table.

“Oohh, she's cute. Maybe we can do something with all three of us. But for now, I’ll be over here.”

As Sierra had gotten back to her table, you had finally gotten back as well and noticed that Jack seemed off. He was looking in every direction except yours and made it a point to ask him about it.

“Bubs, I was gone for two minutes. What could have happened in that time frame that made you nervous? Because your face is very telling at the moment.” You asked and simply laughed before stealing a bite of food from his plate.

“Um, nothing.” Was all Jack said and you rolled your eyes.

“Jackman, do not bullshit me because you know that I, out of all people, am going to call you out on it. I know when something is wrong with you.”

“Just still a little upset about earlier that's all. I'm having a good time with you and I'm happy in that regard. I always love spending time with you.” He told you, but you could still tell that there was something that he wasn't telling you.

“You are lying through your teeth. I think that's only some of the truth. Bubs, how are we going to be together if you aren't 100% honest with me? You obviously know that I care about you, so just tell me.”

Jack didn't even get a chance to respond before Sierra once again made her way to the table and looked you up and down before looking over at Jack.

“Jack, make sure you call me once you're done with your little date in case it doesn't go well.”

All you saw was the color drain from Jack’s face as you looked on in confusion.

“And you are?” You asked with a slight attitude.

“Sierra. He's number one girl when he needs a quick fuck. And you are?” She asked and all you did was look at Jack who hadn't said a word until now.

“Sierra, I'm done with you and the last thing you needed to do was come over here and bother us.”

“Oh, I know you'll be changing your mind soon, but I'll let the two of you be for now. If you were done with me then maybe you should have told me? I mean that would have been the polite way to do it. Anyway, have a good date…. Or what's left of it.”

As soon as she walked away, you were doing your best to calm your breathing because you were more than pissed off at that point.

“Baby girl…” Jack quietly said, but you held up your hand in order to tell him to stop talking.

“You call yourself wanting to be in a relationship with me, yet you're out here still entertaining these other bitches who have the nerve to come up to me and talk to me like that in public?”

“I swear I haven't talked to her since I told you that I wanted this between us.”

“But you didn't tell them or cut them off? Clearly because that just happened and I know she's probably not the only one.”

“Y/N…” Jack quickly said as you started getting up from the table.

“I don't have an appetite anymore.”

#jack harlow #jack harlow fic #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x black reader #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow angst #jack harlow fanfiction #Spotify

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plussizefantasia · 4 months

Text

Don't Call Me Kitty

Bucky Barnes x Black Cat! Reader

Word Count: 2k

Chapter 1/6

Next>

Warnings: Reader is plus size and it's talked about being somewhat of a negative thing (its not) , language, I think that's it

AN: This is part one of the BlackCat!Reader x Bucky work that I've been working on for a while. It was a request although I can't seem to find the original request anymore. This is part one of six, all fully written but I decided to split it up because this is by far the longest thing I've ever written and I wanted to publish it in chunks. Let me know if you like it, or if the rest of this should just stay hidden in my drafts for all of eternity.

If you had to spend one more fucking minute in the same car as James Buchanan Barnes, one of you would be dying. And you are pretty fucking confident that it won't be you.

He won't get off your back. Every chance he has it seems like he launches himself at the opportunity to remind everyone that you weren’t always the goody two shoes he thinks you are pretending to be. But God forbid you call him out on the obvious hypocrisy he's spewing because then you’d have to face Rogers and the inevitable tirade he’d go off on about how his best friend was never a bad man, just deeply broken and how the actions he’d taken while under Hydra’s control were not his own.

You don’t take issue with Barnes bringing up your past, it's not a secret. Everyone on the team had at one point been the focus of your ire on one of your bad days and that more often than not led to some sort of discussion where you would disclose more and more about the things you were trying to forget. Your issue with Barnes was that he was trying to insinuate you were one of the good guys. And you’d rather die than admit you were an Avenger.

You are not, nor will you ever be a good guy. You aren’t necessarily a bad guy, but you are not a goody two shoes. Barnes knows that, he also knows that it pisses you off to no end when he tries to tell everyone that you're acting like one.

“Shoulda seen the way she was sucking up to Fury Stevie, she’s trying to be teacher’s pet I’m tellin’ ya.” You were not sucking up to Fury you were stealing his wallet and trying to distract him so he wouldn’t notice the fifty bucks you lifted, but Barnes didn’t need to know that.

The worst thing about this hate that you have for James Barnes was the fact that you know deep down you don’t hate him at all. Sure, he pushes your buttons and knows just what to say to get you to want to knock his pretty little teeth out. But he's also a genuinely good guy and most of the time isn't all that bad to be around. But god it's so much easier to hate him than it is to sift through all those feelings.

There was also the fact that the two of you work well together. You can be bickering one second and covering each other’s sixes flawlessly the next. You have a theory on that though, you think that because both of you had been forced to work with people you didn’t trust very much at one point or another you got used to getting the job done no matter what other feelings were floating around in the background. That's what you try to convince yourself is the case. The idea that you and Barnes simply make a good team is nauseating.

Barnes isn’t only good to have in the field though, he has proved his worth off the battlefield when he knocked around some poor recruit who had been running his mouth about you in the training gym. The kid couldn’t have been more than twenty and honesty you weren’t going to hold his ignorance against him. If he underestimated you because of your size, then that was on him and in a way, was only gonna help you in the long run.

That was something that you had noticed early on, that most people couldn’t fathom that someone who wasn't a size four could be as good at your job as you are. “Most People” also included people on your team, it had taken you saving Tony’s life in the field more than once for him to admit that he was wrong about you. You are still trying to convince Thor that just because you look soft does not mean you can’t still kick his ass.

You have made people’s lack of faith in you into a good thing. Rich guys aren’t worried about their wallets or watches when a meek little thing bumps into them on the subway and who would suspect the overweight chick to be the one who scales the sides of buildings to get her hands on some unreleased tech from Hammer’s R&D department? Bucky Barnes.

Bucky has never regarded you with the same kind of hesitance as the others. He has never once made it seem like he thought you couldn’t get the job done because you were bigger. And you had to admit, it's refreshing. Not that you need his approval but it's still nice to not be looked at with some kind of doubt, or incredulity. That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t piss you off though.

“I swear to God Barnes, if you change the radio station one more time I’m gonna cover your whole arm in fucking extra strength magnets while you're asleep.” An interesting threat sure, but one you will one hundred percent follow through on.

“The station keeps changing to static, kitty, you want to listen to static for the next three hours?” He asks. He's right, you are both on your way to some ball in Alabama and according to Tony, all the Quinjets are in use for this weekend (bullshit), which leaves you and Bucky to get there the old fashion way, a road trip.

You're already eight hours in and are currently driving through the small towns and mountains that cover a good section of the south. Which means that the radio is cutting in and out. And yeah he's right, you don’t want to listen to static but you also don’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“I’d prefer the goddamn static over the song changing every five fucking seconds.”

“Well, it’s either that or silence, kitty.”

“First of all Barnes, I’ve told you not to call me kitty. It’s demeaning. Secondly, maybe some silence will do you good, you might be able to hear yourself think for once. If you’re capable of thinking.” You shoot back at him.

“Oh, kitty I have plenty of thoughts I’m pretty sure I think enough for the two of us.” He looks at you without turning his head away from the road, giving you a sidelong glance.

“Oh yeah, about what? How to get more beefy? Whatever the next idiotic insult you’ll hurl at our resident birdbrain will be? Whether or not you'll get wrinkles from the perpetual furrow in your brow?”

“I don’t think you want to know what goes on in my head, Mittens.” He pulls his bottom lip up in between his teeth to stop the smirk that is spreading across his face.

“You did not just call me fucking Mittens” Your jaw is practically on the floor. The audacity of this man.

“You said I couldn’t call you kitty. What are my other options?”

“Maybe my name? Asshole.” You also have to fight back a smile. Teasing Barnes is nice, it was the closest thing you have to a genuine relationship. Too bad you can’t stand him.

“You memorized your cover?” He asks you. You almost scoffed at him, you're not a goddamn amateur.

“Of, course. I’m Debrah Longborne, Georgian peach and heiress to my Daddy’s large fruit processing fortune.” This mission is a simple one. You're here to take down a corrupt governor and what better place to do than at the gala he and his wife organize every year? You had Tony donate to his wife’s foundation under your cover name. Large enough to draw attention but not too much attention that you can’t get your job done. “And you…?”

“Brantley Moore, Law professor at Vanderbilt, and your arm candy for the night.” You like going undercover, and this assignment is a short one, just one weekend. It's almost like being another person, just with all your skills and an ulterior motive.

“Who the hell picked the name Brantley?” You ask.

“I know right, I sound like some preppy douchebag”

“Not too far off then.”

“Fuck off.” He laughs. You like his laugh. His eyes crinkle in the corners when he does it, a brief glimpse into the years he has lived through, not all sunshine and rainbows, but enough joy to have laugh lines.

“So Debrah and Brantley met where?”

“Vanderbilt has society mixers every winter, where the professors and some select students get the chance to network with some donors and other important people. It’s a believable story plus there’s over a thousand attendees at these things which makes it easy to slip our names onto the list.”

“And whose idea was that?” you lift an eyebrow. “Mine.”

“How do you know about the Vanderbilt mixers?”

“I had a life before I met you, didn’t you know that.”

“I knew you had a life I guess I just didn’t assume it involved rubbing elbows with southern socialites at prestigious university parties.”

“I wasn’t rubbing elbows, it was for a deal made by Peirce with the university president, I was there as a bodyguard for Pierce and to cover our tracks when things inevitably got bloody.” Any hint of teasing falls from Bucky’s voice. He says shit like that sometimes. Shit that you think he says to scare you or to remind you how dangerous he was. All it does is make you sad. Nobody deserves to go through what he had, and you hate that those evil bastards had taken a great man and mangled him.

The conversation peters out after his revelation. The two of you ride in silence for the next two hours. Thirty minutes in, you get closer to the city and the radio sputters back to life. Bucky reaches to turn it off.

When you finally reach the hotel both of you are a bit on edge. You’ve been driving all day, switching back and forth every few hours but Bucky’s silence for the last little stretch seems to have affected both of you more than you’d thought.

Still, you have a job to do and you’ll be damned if you let the metal-armed nuisance ruin your reputation for perfect follow-throughs. You grab your small weekender bag out of the backseat and make your way to the front desk. You school your features and dust off the southern belle persona that has been stashed away in your metaphorical conman toolbelt.

You can feel Bucky trailing behind you, and an idea pops into your head. Swiftly turning on your heel you pass your bag into his unoccupied hand. Not giving him a chance to say no you rotate back around and march forward at a pace fitting to a very busy society woman.

Bucky sputters behind you and you toss over your shoulder, “If I’m playing an heiress this weekend, I'm not lifting a goddamn finger if I don’t have to.”

Marching the rest of the way to the desk you flash the young woman behind the counter a polite smile, “Room for Longborne”. She immediately matches your smile and begins typing away on her keyboard pulling up the reservation that was made for your cover.

“Of Course Ms. Longborne, I have you down for the Iris sweet for three nights is that correct?”

“Sounds correct to me, although if you could hold the room for one more day that would be just peachy of you, we don’t know how long our business here is going to take and it’s better to be safe than sorry. You understand of course.” You put every ounce of Southern charm into your words and pray to God that this interaction can be over sooner rather than later.

“Of course Ms., Here are your keys. Your room is on our twelfth floor and the number is embossed on the front of the card.” She hands you a package of three cards across the desk. “If you need anything at all don’t hesitate to call.”

You nod, taking the key cards from her hand, and motion for Bucky to follow you to the elevator.

The ride up to the twelfth floor is silent, much like the last stretch of the car ride. What you aren’t expecting is Bucky’s exclamation when he walks into the room before you.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” The first words Barnes has uttered in nearly two hours. “There's only one fucking bed.”

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heavenlyhischier · 11 months

Text

𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐌𝐞 | 𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐫

word count: 2.8k

summary: nico’s your best friend and roommate, but what happens when he comes home after a guy leaves you unsatisfied?

warnings: MINORS DNI 18+ CONTENT, hair pulling, unprotected sex (pls guys use protection), choking, oral (fem receiving), fingering

note: thank u maddy for being the best and reassuring me that this wasnt total garbage i love u ◡̈

Living with Nico was relatively easy. He never made too much noise when he knew you were sleeping, he would make enough dinner for the both of you, and he was clean for a guy. He was caring in the sense that he knew you liked rocky road ice cream, so he always kept it in the freezer despite thinking it was an abomination. However, living with him was also hard because he was undeniably hot.

When you had agreed to move in with him after struggling to find an apartment when your previous lease was over, you didn’t take into account how often you would see him shirtless. Or the amount of times you would see him freshly woken up, messy hair in his sleepy eyes as he sulked into the kitchen. Or the way your heart would swell and your stomach would twist in knots if you let your eyes linger on him for too long.

You, unfortunately, were not naive enough to be blind to what that meant for you, but you were smart enough to keep it to yourself. Nico was your friend and roommate, and having feelings for him was a textbook recipe for disaster. Nothing like that ever ended well, and ruining your friendship with the hockey player was the last thing you wanted.

“I’m going to the gym, but I’ll be back by eleven,” Nico called behind his shoulder as he opened the fridge.

“Okay,” You drawled, doing your best to not stare at the way his back muscles rippled underneath his compression shirt.

“Just saying, in case you wanted to come with,” He teased, turning around to give you a mischievous grin.

He watched as you rolled your eyes, a playful smile gracing your soft features as you left your half-eaten breakfast discarded in front of you. Your hair was still messy from just waking up and your cheeks slightly flushed from what he presumes to be the heat of their apartment. Nico let his mind be clouded by thoughts of how beautiful you looked, but it was when they turned into thoughts of how you’d look underneath him that he pushed them away.

“After the shit you made me do last time, never again,” You groaned as you remembered the awful workout he put you through last time you went with him, “I was bedridden for days, Nico. Days!”

“You’re dramatic,” He laughed, his eyes twinkling as they met your own, “But no, I won’t make you do that again. It will be easier. Maybe.”

“I can’t today anyways. I have um- I have someone coming over,” You meekly admitted, avoiding eye contact with him.

You could feel the air shift around you as your words registered with Nico, and you wanted nothing more than to sink further into your seat. Nico’s silence was unnerving and the thick tension that enveloped you was unlike anything you’d felt with him before. It felt as if the waiting was blindly wrapping its hands around your neck, slowly suffocating you until he opened his mouth.

“Have fun,” He finally responded, his voice clipped and flat, “I’ll see you later.”

Your eyes snapped up and watched as he left the apartment, the door aggressively shutting behind him. You slowly blinked in confusion as you tried to piece together what just happened. He seemed angry that you were having someone over, but you’re not able to understand why. You knew Nico was typically gone during this time, so you planned the meeting accordingly. You weren’t interfering with his time at all, and that left you even more confused, but you didn’t have time to think about it before that someone would be here.

“I had fun,” Noah spoke as he slipped his clothes back on, “Maybe we can do it again sometime.”

Not likely, you thought as you tossed him your best fake smile, just wanting to get him out of the apartment. You grabbed the first shirt you could find and slipped it over your head so you could walk him out of your apartment. Passing by your mirror, you nearly tripped over your own feet when you realized that the shirt you had on was Nico’s. It had the devils logo slapped on the front with his number decorating the sleeves, and memories of how you got the shirt began to flood your mind. Shaking your head to rid the thoughts of your roommate, you followed after Noah.

However, as soon as you stepped out into the hallway it was as if time had frozen. Nico was standing at the kitchen island with his back turned towards the two of you, but you knew he’d heard you. His back was straight, the muscles pulled tight as he pretended to focus on whatever was in front of him. While it didn’t seem to phase your hookup, it had you feeling like you couldn’t breathe. You prayed that Noah would keep his mouth shut and not say anything ridiculous to you before he left, but what he did was much worse.

“Hey man,” Noah greeted Nico who had turned his head when he heard someone behind him.

“I’ll let you out.”

God, you wanted the floor to swallow you whole as you watched them interact. It was awkward, and you couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed at the thought that Nico had heard you fake your orgasm only minutes ago. Nico was short and dismissive to the smaller man in front of him as he walked him to the door, and you avoided Noah’s stare as he waited to see if you were going to bid him a goodbye. He scoffed when you stayed planted in your spot.

“Did he make you feel good,” Nico baited as soon as the door was shut behind him, his dark eyes boring into your own.

“Wh-What,” You stuttered, shocked that he would ask you any sort of question like that.

“I said,” Nico began, taking a few steps towards you so that your chests were nearly touching, “Did he make you feel good?”

You swallowed thickly, heart slamming into your rib cage as your head became clouded with thoughts of the man in front of you. He was drenched in sweat from the gym, his shirt sticking to his skin and displaying each dip and curve of the muscle underneath it. His hair looked as if he had been relentlessly running his fingers through it, and all you could think about was the way it would look stuck to his forehead as he buried himself deep inside of you.

“No,” You breathed out, “No, he didn’t.”

“Then let me.”

Nico drags his fingers up your arm, goosebumps rising in a trail behind them. Your pupils are blown wide as you stare up at him, the ability to think, the ability to breathe long forgotten as he looked at you like he wanted to devour you. Your mouth grew dry as you tried to force yourself to speak, but Nico’s touch rendered you speechless until his palm was ghosting over the expanse of your neck.

“Nico, I- We can’t,” You rush out, but you make no point to move away from him as he takes your chin in between his thumb and finger.

“Why not, schätzi,” He tilts his head to the side, his thumb dragging across your bottom lip, “I hear you moaning my name when you think i’m asleep.”

If you thought your heart was racing before, it was certainly about to beat out of your chest now. Embarrassment crawled up your neck at the thought of being caught in the act by the person you had been fantasizing about, but another part of you, the twisted part of you, had hoped he did.

“We’re friends. Roommates,” You haphazardly explained, “This could ruin everything.”

“It doesn’t have to ruin anything,” He tried, his voice low as his eyes darted to your lips, “But I heard you earlier. I know that’s not what you sound like. I know you faked it, so let me help you.”

Fuck it. You close the small gap between the two of you, crashing your lips on his own in a searing kiss. Nico’s hand drops from your chin, snaking around to the back of your neck to tangle in your hair as he pulls you into his chest. You’re grasping at his biceps, trying to keep yourself steady as he deepens the kiss and slides his tongue into your mouth. A broken moan slips through your mouth when Nico tugs on your hair, and he’s pulling away with a smirk on his face.

“You like that,” He teased with red, swollen lips and hooded eyes, the grip on your hair slightly tightening, “You let him pull your hair too?”

The way his voice deepened and his eyes hardened at the mention of Noah had the wetness in between your legs growing. Every nerve in your body was aching for him to touch you, to get you to the release your body so desperately craved. You stared up at Nico, words suddenly fleeting from your mind as he carefully backed you up against the kitchen table. With one hand still tangled in your hair, he gripped the back of your thighs and lifted you into the table.

“Did you let him touch you,” He taunted as he ran a finger up the inside of your thigh, sending shivers through your body.

“No, we jus- We just had sex,” You admitted sheepishly, eyes dropping to his chest.

With his grip still on your hair, he yanked your head back up so your eyes were on his face as he spoke, “Good.”

He quickly dropped to his knees, placing both hands on your thighs and spreading them so he could slot himself in between you. Eyes wide and full of anticipation, you watched as he began to pepper soft, gentle kisses along the sensitive skin. You throw your head back in bliss when his breath hits your center, and your breathing becomes shaky and desperate.

“You know,” His voice rumbled against you, “When I saw you wearing nothing but my shirt after he left you unsatisfied, I was ready to bend you over the counter and show him how to properly fuck you.”

Nico’s words caught you by surprise, but he didn’t give you any time to respond before he was latching his mouth onto your clit. Whatever you were going to say was broken into moans as your hands gripped the edge of the table for support. He grabs your leg and hooks it over his shoulder as he licks and sucks at your core like this was his only purpose. His name falls from your lips in cries, and they only encourage him to plunge two fingers inside of you without warning.

“Oh my god,” You pant as your fingers grasp at his hair, pulling him closer into you.

Your body is writhing as Nico’s fingers curl inside of you, causing him to snake his other arm around you and hold you in place. He’s humming against you and it nearly sends you over the edge, but he’s retracting his mouth and quickly standing before interrupting your pleas and slamming his lips against yours. You taste yourself on his lips as he relentlessly fucks you with his fingers, and you feel the coil in your stomach begin to break.

“Let go, schätzi,” He mumbles against your lips, recognizing the sounds coming from your mouth from the many times he’s heard you touching yourself to the thought of him.

Your legs shake and your eyes screw shut as you release yourself over his fingers. Nico pulls his fingers out of you, leaving your walls clenching at the empty feeling, and he’s bringing his fingers to your mouth. You meet his eyes as he quirks his brow, silently urging you to part your lips, which you do while maintaining his gaze. He lets out a guttural groan as your lips swirl around his fingers, his cock twitching in his shorts.

“Nico,” You gasp, trying to catch your breath once he pulls his fingers from your mouth, “Please.”

“Please what,” He feigns confusion, the ghost of a playful smile on his lips.

“Need you inside of me,” You begged, “Please.”

“Think you deserve that after letting someone else fuck you less than twenty minutes ago,” He darkly laughed as he slipped out of his shirt.

“I don’t- I just wanted something other than my fingers,” You shamefully revealed, fingers toying at the waistband of his shorts.

“How’d that work out for you,” He hummed, “Just wasted your time being a slut when you could’ve just asked me.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, unsure of how to respond because you couldn’t have just asked him. It wasn’t that simple to you. You thought he would reject you, laugh at you, kick you out. Never in a million years did you think he would want you the same way you wanted him, but here he was. Stepping out of his shorts and bearing all of himself to you.

Pulling you into another kiss, he slides his length through the slickness between your legs, teasing at your entrance as you let out a whine. He carefully pushes himself into you, stopping when your head falls away from him in pleasure. Nico’s hand splays across the expanse of your neck, gently squeezing at the sides as he brings your head back up. Your eyes snap open as you groan and your hips shift towards him, desperate for him to go deeper.

“Want you to look at me,” He instructs, “Need you to.”

Your eyes brim with tears as he bottoms out in you, stilling as he lets you adjust to his size. He lets out a string of curse words in his native language before he slowly begins to rock against you until you’re ready for more. Despite the pressure on your neck, your eyes screw shut as you feel him sliding in and out of you. No fantasy you’ve had could ever amount to what you were feeling, and now that you’ve had the real thing, you never wanted to go back.

“Faster,” You plead, eyes opening to a slit to watch his face twist in pleasure as you clenched around him.

Nico’s quick to pull himself nearly all the way out before snapping his hips against your own and slamming into you. The moans you let out are pornagraphic as you cling to him to keep yourself upright. Your mind is hazy, full of only the man burying himself inside of you and hitting just the right spot.

He drops his head to your neck and begins to suck on the sensitive skin. You know he’s going to leave a mark, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care as he was mercilessly fucking into you. One hand gripping the edge of the table and the other tugging at his hair, you could feel yourself reaching your breaking point yet again, and Nico knew that too.

He slowed his pace, but began thrusting deeper into you at a more controlled speed so that he could tease you to the edge. His quiet groans were ringing in your ears as your hips met his, your walls tensing around him. Nico hissed at the feeling, the grip he had on your throat slightly tightening just enough for your arousal to be heightened even more. It wasn’t long after that you were reaching your second orgasm of the night, and the sound you let out was what sent him into his own.

Nico’s hips stuttered against you as he continued thrusting into you until he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He was pulling out of you and carefully pushing you back and lifting your shirt to release himself onto your stomach. Your vision was blurry as you came down from your high, but you could still see him as he planted his hands on either side of you. The both of you were panting, trying to catch your breath as the silence enveloped you.

The air was sticky with an unknown tension, and it made you nervous. You didn’t know where to go from here, and you didn’t know where he wanted to go from here. Of course you wanted something more than a friends with benefits situation with him, but honestly, you’d settle with that if it’s what he wanted. You only let the silence last for a couple of minutes before you decided to speak.

“I should go get cleaned up,” You quietly spoke, avoiding eye contact with him despite just having him inside of you.

“Shower. I'm not done with you yet.”

#nico hischier #nico hischier imagine #nico hischer x reader #nico hischier smut #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey imagine

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storm-angel989 · 15 days

Note

Hello!!

I was wondering if you could do a Val x daughter teen reader.

- She’s super duper sleep deprived (yawning every other 5 minutes and it’s so obvious she’s fighting to stay awake), and relies on a crap ton of energy drinks to keep her up and going. How would Val, Vel, and Vox react to finding out about this?

Hi Friend,

Thank you so much for your patience <3

As all three of the Vee’s very well know, sleep is so important. They want to see Reader succeed, but not at the expense of her own health. So take a peek at what happens!

Enjoy!

<3 Mandy

My official bedtime is eleven. I crawl into bed at two.

My day started at 4:30.

Get up. Drag myself to the gym. Lately, I’ve been listening to my textbooks on audiobook while I run because I, for the life of me, can’t get my brain to retain any of the information. My first sip of an energy drink is paired with water as I frantically scramble to scrub my hair and get dressed in my uniform before I need to leave for school.

Seven thirty. Skip breakfast in favor of the second energy drink of the day. Slide into my homeroom seat exactly six minutes before the bell rings. I can’t be late, or else I risk getting kicked off the water polo team.

School ends at three. I lose track of how many energy drinks I buy, how many cups of coffee I consume. All I know is it’s easier to study and drink coffee than it is to study and eat. And midterms start tomorrow.

Practice starts at three thirty and by the time I get in the water, my week and a half worth of cramming for midterms is starting to catch up to me. It’s all I can do to stay awake, and unlike the other girls, I’m grateful for the freezing cold water.

This routine had been mine for the past two weeks, and I was exhausted. Cramming for exams always sucked, but this time around felt harder than most.

“I just need to review one more chapter,” I promised myself as I climbed into the limo. The ache in my head matched the heaviness of my eyelids and I let out another yawn. “One more chapter, and then…”

Out of habit, I pulled out my exam schedule. I felt my heart drop and jolted awake as I read through the test list for the next day. Fuck. Science was tomorrow. Not history. I hadn’t even started to review science. I opened up another energy drink as I stared into the eyes of what would be another all nighter. As the last drop of liquid entered my body, I could feel my heart beat- an uncomfortable buzz. I tried to ignore it as I exited the limo and trudged upstairs. My mind blurred as I went through the motions without remembering exactly what I was doing.

“Ah, princessa, I’m glad you’re home,” my father’s voice floated across the room. “Your Uncle Vox just finished making dinner. Come sit.”

“I can’t, Daddy, midterms start tomorrow,” I replied through a yawn. “I have to study, I mixed up…”

“You can’t study on an empty tummy. Your body needs fuel,” my Aunt Velvette replied.

Her tone told me I wasn’t getting out of it. I dropped my backpack and hazily made my way across the living room. I stumbled but caught myself on the table. I could feel all three sets of eyes on me as I righted myself and slowly sank into my chair.

“Babygirl, are you feeling okay?” Vox asked as he pressed his hand to my forehead. “You don’t look good.”

“No, no you don’t,” my father added. “Did you eat before practice?”

I tried to remember but the memories of the day wouldn’t come. I shrugged in response.

“Have you been drinking?” Velvette demanded after a moment of silence. She crossed her arms. “You’re stumbling, you’re pale, you’re slurring your words, something is wrong.”

“No! I’m just, I’m really tired,” I protested as I tried to bite back a yawn. “Midterms, they're tomorrow and I..I need to study. I can have another energy drink, maybe that will help.”

I went to push myself up from the table and felt the heaviness of Vox’s hands on my shoulder hold me in place. His other hand reached over and clicked on my VoxTech watch.

“When did you go to bed last night?” My father asked gently.

“More importantly, how many energy drinks did you have today?” Vox asked.

Unable to hold back, I yawned. “It's midterm week, I dunno. Guys, I have to study, I…”

I watched all three of them exchange glances. Vox hit a button on my watch and they both looked at their phones. Alarm spread over each of their faces.

“No. You’re not going anywhere except to bed,” my father said firmly as he stood up.

“Dad, no, I’m…I’m fine..” I started to protest as he lifted me into his arms. “Daddy, I’m sixteen, lemme go…” I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes as I tried to push myself away from him.

“Mhm, yeah, you’re right, you are sixteen,” he replied softly.

The next thing I knew, he laid me down in my bed and pulled the covers over me. I felt the weight of his body on the bed as he sat down next to me.

“Close your eyes, ninita,” he said softly. “You need to rest.”

Under the warmth of the covers, snuggled in the comfort of my bed, exhaustion swept over me. Unable to fight, I sank into a deep, dreamless sleep.

It could have been days, or hours later. As I slowly came to, the red digits of my alarm clock flashed. Eleven thirty am. Panic rushed through me. Late! I was so late! I sat straight up, but before I could swing myself out of bed, Vox’s hand pushed me down.

“Hey, hey kid. Calm down. Relax, you’re fine,” he said soothingly.

“No, Uncle Vox I have my history midterm today, I have to go, I’m so late!” I babbled as I tried to push against him.

“You’ll make them up, deep breath,” he replied evenly. “It’s okay, I promise. I’m going to let your Dad and Vel know you’re awake. If I let you go, will you please stay down?”

Slowly, I nodded as the panic began to subside. He released me and sat down on the bed next to me. A few moments later, the door opened and they both walked into the room.

“How are you feeling?” my father asked.

“Better? Dad, my midterms, practice, I have homework,” I began.

He held up his hand. “Stop. Take a breath. Uncle Vox called the school. Your midterms are rescheduled for two weeks from now. Lots of time to study without you running yourself down to nothing.”

“As for homework and practice, you don’t have to worry about that until Monday, which is when you’re allowed to go back to school,” Velvette added.

“Allowed back to school? What the fuck does that mean?” I asked.

“It means you’ve been asleep for almost a day and a half. It’s Thursday, sweetheart,” Vox said gently.

Panic washed over me. A day and a half? I slept for a day and a half?

“See, the problem with sleep deprivation is that it catches up to you. No amount of energy drinks or coffee can fix the issue. The only way to feel better is to sleep,” he continued. “And it appears that you, little girl, pushed yourself to your max.”

“And could have done some serious damage to your body in the process,” my father added. “So this is how the rest of this weekend goes. You’re going to the doctors to get checked over…”

“Why? I was just overtired,” I protested.

“No, you were exhausted. And you consumed so much caffeine your heart rate and your blood pressure were sky high,” Vox answered.

“Your Aunt Velvette, Uncle Vox and I have been taking turns sitting with you just to make sure you were okay,” my father added. “So no. A checkup is not negotiable. We’re also going to have a discussion with the doctor on the importance of sleep and the negative effects caffeine can have on the body. Anyway, after you get the all clear, you are going to spend the weekend resting. You can watch movies, study for a few hours, I don’t care. But when your body is tired, you need to sleep. Otherwise, you’re not going to recover from this.”

I felt myself deflate. “Am I grounded too?”

“Call it grounding if you want, but you’re staying home all weekend,” my father replied calmly.

A thousand protests raced through my mind. I had an away game this week. I needed to keep in shape. I had projects to do and laps to swim. But as I studied the concerned expression on my fathers face, I realized that nothing I could say would make them change their minds. The creeping feeling of exhaustion swept over me and I yawned as I settled back against the pillows.

I felt lips press to my forehead and I snuggled back under the covers. Maybe a bit more sleep wouldn't hurt.

#hazbin hotel #the vees #hazbin fluff #the vees x reader #valentino x reader #valentino #valentino x you #valentino hazbin hotel #vox x reader #hazbin hotel valentino #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #vox the tv demon #vox #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel velvette

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written-in-flowers · 1 year

Text

A Different World: Gwinam x Reader

Pairing: Yoon Gwinam x Plussize!fem!Reader

Genre: Smut. So much Smut. Minors DNI please

Word Count: 12k

Rating: M....very much M, explicit

Summary: Before the outbreak, you never thought you had a chance with Yoon Gwinam, and he thought the same about you. But, once you've both come into a new state of being, a "hambie", suddenly sexual fantasies don't stay fantasies.

Tags: Fat Shaming, Bullying, Toxic Friendships, Dom/sub, Light Sadism, Light Masochism, Spanking, Pulic Masturbation, Masturbation in bathroom, Mutual pining, blood and gore, blood kink, spit kink, rape fantasy, thigh worship, body worship, rough sex, rough oral sex, oral sex (m. and f. receiving/giving), anal sex, rimming, anal fingering, face slapping, facials, cum swallowing, multiple orgasms (m. and f.), multiple positions, no breaks, they're both fucking pervs and so horny for each other, kind of a forbidden romance? well, until all their friends die anyways. ****

You fixed your shirt for the millionth time that morning. You hated how your stomach and chest lightly pushed on the clear buttons of your shirt; it made you look fatter tucked into your skirt. The skirt is a different breed of annoying. Your thick thighs used to chafe from rubbing together throughout the day. You usually pull on gym pants if it becomes too much, but deodorant sticks and your thigh high stockings make it easier to bear. Other girls can wear the pants without a word; you, the chubby one, can't. You hoped the shirt did not pop open from the stretch. The laundry schedule at home meant you'd have at least one day with the smaller school shirt. Fixing it again, you decided to button your blazer over it for now. When you get to class, you can unbutton it to breathe before doing it again.

"Stop doing that. You're going to make it worse," Hyejin said from beside you. "You should've gotten a larger size."

"The store didn't carry any more of it," you admitted quietly. "I need to go there later to see if they have them again."

Choi Hyejin, small and narrow, was one of the two people you're certain you hate. A petite, brown haired girl from an upper class family, she carried the haughty air and snotty opinions of the high society she came from. Had you two not grown up together, you're sure you'd be her favorite punching bag. But since your fathers worked together, and your mothers ran in the same social circles, she resorted to backhanded compliments like this.

"Or you can have it tailored like my brother did," said the girl on your left.

Slender and tall, Kim Soomin was part of the girl's volleyball team and well liked in the athletic scene. Her black hair tied back in a long plait, she wore her volleyball jacket over her uniform, which made her look broader but slimmer at the same time. Another girl from an affluent family, you and her became close on your first day of primary school. That is where your trio-friendship forged, and where it would remain until the end of time. Soomin didn't discourage you like Hyejin did, but you knew why she hung out with you. It's the same reason they both did:

They look hotter when compared to you. Because even with Hyejin's hooked nose and Soomin's height, at least they're not fat.

"I suppose, but my mom might say no," you told her, holding your books to your chest. "She'll just tell me to lose weight."

"Then why don't you? It'd be better for your health, if anything. It can’t be that hard.”

The false concern for your health stabbed another hole in you. Hyejin and Soomin might not be ideal friends, but it was certainly better than having none. With at least these two, you avoided the cruel, harsh bullying you often witnessed happen to others. If Choi Hyejin and Kim Soomin liked you, then you must be cool. However, the trade off is the occasional 'you're fat and that's why your life sucks' discussion. You knew they didn’t actually care if you lost any weight. The longer you remained fat, the better they’d continue to look in comparison. In your mind’s eye, you saw all the boys who flirted with Hyejin at school. They ignored you completely. Not that you cared. Only one boy in Hyoson High School caught your attention, and he’d never notice you. Not in a million years.

"You can always come to the school gym with me!” said Soomin. “I don't mind having a partner and the coach won't say anything about it."

"No thanks. I hate gyms. I always feel people are watching me."

"Nobody watches you, YN," Hyejin scoffed. "They don't care as much as you think they do."

You wanted to tell her that a fat girl in a gym often attracted some kind of torment, but the words caught in your throat. Looking up the path leading into school, you spotted him. Yoon Gwinam. A tall boy with black hair that reached his neck, he wore the school shirt open with a black sweater underneath, likely to fight off the chill. Long limbs made him look longer and broader. You often imagined him completely encapsulating you in a hug, your head on his shoulder and hearing his heart beating. Your heart fluttered seeing him standing in the distance with his friends. He stood, chuckling and smiling when one of them made a joke. You wished it was you making him smile like that. You’d do anything to see it up close. Gwinam is a tough guy; you’ve seen him beat up people with little effort. The sort of guy who’d protect you and care for you above everyone else; the guy whose heart would only melt for you. No guy you’d managed to date treated you the way you wanted.

“-We did it by that old railroad track outside the train stations,” Hyejin’s story broke into your thoughts as you walked. Your eyes kept focusing on Gwinam, leaning against a building near the school. Absent-mindedly, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, thinking it made you more attractive. “I love it when they groan. It’s super hot when a guy is vocal.”

“I can’t believe you did that,” Soomin laughed. “Especially since he’s dating Aro.”

“Aro should take better care of her man then, if you know what I mean.”

You tuned out Hyejin’s recount, and thought of saying something Gwinam as you walked by. ‘Hey Gwinam’. ‘Morning Gwinam’. ‘Gwinam, please rip off my panties, and fuck me hard.’ No, the last one is a bit too much. Besides, if Soomin and Hyejin saw you talking to him, they’d ask why you did. His reputation around school wasn’t very good; he hung around with bullies who picked on people weaker than them. Yet, it was this bad reputation that made you want him more. You didn’t want to “fix” him. You wanted him as he was, meanness and all. You couldn’t really explain it. Something about him attracted you, and they wouldn’t understand.

“Are you still talking to him?” asked Soomin, amused. “Or have you already thrown him away?”

“Nah, we’re still talking,” she said. Of course they were. You knew Hyejin would eventually forget about her newest conquest and move onto someone else. “He said he can’t get enough of me.”

“Oh my god, you’re so bad.”

The thought of Gwinam only wanting sex from you crossed your mind. It was why most guys approached you: they thought heavy girls are desperate and will sleep with them for crumbs of affection. Normally you reject these guys, since high school boys like to brag. Yet, if Gwinam ever showed interest, you’d crumble immediately. If you put out for any guy in school, it’d be him. Deep down, you sensed he enjoyed the kind of sex you did…At least, in your fantasies he did.

“You know, YN, he’s got a pretty cute friend,” she told you. “I mean, he’s not Namjoon hot, but he’s okay looking. He’s definitely your type. I could set you up-YN? Are you listening?”

“Huh? What?”

Hyejin looked between you and where Gwinam stood and let out a soft laugh. “Oh my god, no way,” she teased, “You’re actually checking out Yoon Gwinam?”

“What?! No,” you defended instantly. “I wasn’t looking at him at all.”

“He’s a jerk, YN,” said Soomin. “He’s a bully. How could you like a guy that bullies people?”

“He’s also a total idiot,” added Hyejin.

“I wasn’t looking at him,” you repeated firmly, heat rising in your cheeks. “He’s just…He’s in my eyeline, that’s all.”

“He’s not even a cute bully,” said Soomin. “You know, like the guys in the dramas. He’s ugly. He’s got a weird face shape.”

You wanted to hit her. Gwinam is by no means ugly. You liked his face, his body, his hair, and everything else. In your daydreams, he liked your body too. He’d spend ages telling you how beautiful he thinks you are, and how much you turn him on.

“Not to mention that ugly haircut,” Hyejin scoffed. “Besides, I wouldn’t bother. It’s not like he’d be into you.”

“Hyejin,” Soomin said carefully. “Don’t be so mean.”

“I’m not being mean. I’m being honest,” she retorted. “Guys like him are total assholes. He’d probably laugh at you and walk away if you confessed.”

“I won’t confess because there’s nothing to confess.”

It pained you to admit it, but Hyejin was right. Gwinam would never like a girl like you. You looked at him one more time as you came closer. He didn't even look your way. Why should he? There’s nothing special about you. Guys never looked at you; why should he be any different? You walked past his group, and your eyes met him for a split second. You quickly turned away before he noticed you. It made your cheeks burn more, simply having him acknowledge you for a second even if he thought nothing of you.

“Ugh, so gross,” Soomin huffed.

“The dude’s a walking red flag. You should like someone else,” Hyejin smiled slowly, “Like Lee Suhyeok. Isn’t he gorgeous?”

Yes, Suhyeok was the handsome, friendly guy any sane girl would like. Yet, you didn’t. You found it difficult when you compared him to Gwinam, who checked all your boxes. Your fondness for bad boys will eventually come back to bite you, you know. It was best for everyone if you kept it to yourself.

“Gosh, I’d kill to get a slice of him,” Hyejin sighed.

“But he’s not into you,” you said to her. A little dig into her made you feel good. “He likes someone else, I heard.”

“That’s because he hasn’t gotten with me yet,” she replied with a sly smile.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to get with you because you fuck any guy who gives you attention,” you heard yourself say to her. You instantly gasped and Soomin laughed out loud. “Oh, um, well, I mean maybe-”

“-Maybe ‘what’? At least guys actually look at me, unlike you. Namjoon told me he and his friends have a bet going, you know,” she spat back. “Yeah, to see who could bag The Pig. He told me to introduce you to his friend, since he said if he wins, he’d split the money with us. Want to know what I said? I said ‘no’ because I’m a good friend.”

“What?” Your throat dried up at that confession. It was always your worst fear: a guy showing interest as a dare from his friends. “So, you were going to set me up with someone who means to play a prank on me?”

“Oh, come on, like you’re that dumb. I told him you wouldn’t fall for it. He’d have to try really hard since you always get all weird when you like a guy.”

“But you still knew,” you stopped walking, and gripped your books tightly. “You were still going to go through with it just so some asshole keeps liking you.”

You wanted to hit her. You wanted to call her every name in the book, and smack her until you drew blood. She thought herself so above you and Soomin. You pictured yourself literally knocking her down a size. Your nails dug into the soft cover of your textbooks, so tight your knuckles burned. Images of you sitting in a restaurant, waiting on a guy who might never come, tightened your chest. You hated her.

“I was going to tell you,” she said, “Stop being so dramatic. It’s not like you’ll go through with it. You chicken out every time a guy comes onto you. I told you about it just now, didn’t I? See, I’m a good friend to you and you say mean things to me. I was only looking out for you.”

She turned on her heel and continued walking. Soomin stayed behind for a moment, seeing your eyes glare at Hyejin’s back. “YN?” she came to you cautiously, “YN, we gotta go to class.”

Why were you friends with her? Why were you friends with either of them? You knew why. Because it was better to be friends with them, taking the licks, than not having friends at all.

“YN-”

“-Fuck off,” you hissed at her before leaving her side.

You blinked back the tears building up in her eyes. Going into the school with teary eyes might attract more attention than you’d like. Crying in front of people showed weakness. You couldn’t let people know you’re weak because then you’d become a target too. Walking away from the school pathway, you ended up in the construction site beside the main building. You aren’t sure what the school planned to make the building, but that didn’t matter to you. The half finished, concrete building remained abandoned during the day time. Nobody will hear you crying. You walked until the sounds of the other students faded into nothingness.

You’re a joke to them. You’re the dumb, ugly fat friend who they can look at when they feel bad about themselves. Every rude word, every mean comment from everyone in your life came rushing back to you. Your mother scolded you for eating more than you should. Your father said he was glad because then he didn’t have to worry about boys coming to his door. Hyejin liked pointing out the flaws in your outfits and Soomin constantly offered unsolicited health advice. You doubted this “friend” of Namjoon’s would actually like you. Not even the boys you’d gone out with before liked you. They always shift uncomfortably or tell you to keep it a secret. God forbid their friends should find out they liked the fat girl.

You collapsed against a bare, concrete wall and looked outside a window frame. Fresh air blew past the window, only just brushing the window sill you leaned against. You forced yourself to enjoy the free air to drown out the pain festering inside you. Visions of beating every single person in your life passed like a movie reel. You briefly imagined Hyejin getting into an accident that disfigures her pretty face forever; you pictured your mother finally dying and being free of her hateful words. Why couldn’t people just let you live?

As you stood there thinking, your favorite daydream came back. Gwinam is your boyfriend, and he hears what Hyejin said to you and what Namjoon’s friends planned to do, and beats them all up for you. In this daydream, you have a protector who adores you; who loves you as you are. A Gwinam who’d burn down the world for you; who’d bring ultimate pain to anyone who hurt you. You knew this Gwinam did not exist, but you comforted yourself with the fantasy anyways. Wiping your eyes, hoping the redness won’t be noticeable, sudden footsteps from the next room made you jump. You listened closely and realized it was multiple people.

“I told you to have the money with you.”

The familiar voice of Gwinam sent shivers down your body. You didn’t know who he’d come with, but you guessed it was his gang of bullies. Visions of what they might do if they caught you in the building, weeping and weak, and you pressed yourself against the wall. You could stay there until they left, or maybe you could sneak out through the window. But, the temptation guided you to the nearby hole in the wall meant to be a doorway. You rarely get a chance to watch Gwinam undisturbed this way. Usually, you’re with one of your friends or in a crowded room, and someone might see you. These moments didn’t come very often, so you seized it. Quietly, you walked to the door nearby and peeked one eye into the main room.

There he was, standing a few feet from a short, skinny boy. You immediately recognized the boy as Park Jisung, a boy from your homeroom. Jisung cowered away from Gwinam, who had him cornered in the empty room. Gwinam looked at Jisung the way a cat looked at a mouse. Your eyes scanned over his long frame; you pictured him standing front of you with the same stare. If you wanted anyone to bully you, it’d be Gwinam.

“I’m-I’m sorry, Gwinam,” Jisung gave a bow, shaking and nervous. “I’ll bri-bring it tomorrow.”

“But I need it today,” he said. He sighed, “Guys like you really fucking piss me off.”

‘Yes. Yes, get pissed off. Make him regret it,’ your darkest fantasies screamed. You pushed yourself against the wall, heat starting to flare up in your body despite the cold wall. ‘Hit him. Hurt him. Hit me. Hurt me.’

“I’m sorry, Gwinam! If you give me a little bit of time, I’ll get you the money. I promise. My parents didn’t have any to-”

“-I don’t care,” he said. “Fucking asshole.”

You flinched as Gwinam’s hand slapped Jisung across the face. Jisung stumbled to the side. Psh, weakling. He didn’t even hit that hard. You looked at Gwinam’s face, anger rising in him as he smacked Jisung around more. If only he did that to you. You clenched your thighs together watching him swing his long arms in each slap. Once Jisung hit the ground, Gwinam’s kicks began harsher and deeper. He looked so hot. Being angry or scared brought out a person’s true nature; Gwinam liked hurting people, and you liked watching him hurt people. You liked how Gwinam threw Jisung around like a rag doll, smacking and kicking him. You thought of him doing the same to you. Guys like Gwinam made you feel small and weak, despite your heaviness. You bit your lower lip thinking of those hands pinning you to the ground, leaving bruises around them for later. He’d throw you on the ground, tear open your shirt to bite and slap your tits before fucking you. No foreplay. No gentleness or kindness. You’d be wet from his ferocity alone.

“Piece of shit,” Gwinam growled.

“What a loser,” you heard one of his friends laugh.

Your body slowly began grinding into the side of the doorway. Nobody would see you in the dimness, surely. They’re preoccupied with Jisung, who wept and begged them to stop. Your pussy pulsed watching Gwinam kick and stomp on him. You stuck your hand underneath your skirt, carefully running your fingers over your sex. It’d have to be quick, but watching Gwinam in the flesh this way made you wetter. Tightness built between your thighs, that familiar arousal burning as your fingers trailed over your slit. The chilling wall caused your nipples to harden, and you thought of Gwinam’s mouth on them. He’d bite and suck as his cock grinded into your pussy. You’d grip his shoulders and arms, nails clawing his flesh as he teased you.

You’d let him take you however he wished. You’d be his personal fuck toy; a thing only made to pleasure him.

“Psh, pathetic motherfucker,” Gwinam spat at Jisung. He crouched down and lifted his head by the hair.

You bit down on your lip as you circled your clit. His tongue swirls around it greedily, gripping your thighs hard and growling from the taste. He stood Jisung up to his feet. He’d do the same to you. He’d laugh at you for getting so wet so easily; he’d call you a whore, smack you one more time, before continuing the sexual torture. Maybe he’d do what he did to Min Eunji once. He’d grab a marker and write filthy words on your body, on your clothes, so people knew you belonged to him. Screw what your friends thought. This is your fantasy, not theirs. Your lips grew wetter, and you pushed your panties aside. You started rubbing yourself quicker. A slew of dirty thoughts came as Jisung groaned, and coughed.

Gwinam spanking your ass until it becomes tender and hot.

Gwinam spitting in your mouth, then calling you a filthy bitch for doing it.

Gwinam tying you to his bed at home and leaving you there for whenever he gets horny.

The climax hits you hard with the usual scene: Gwinam chasing you through a forest, feral and high on adrenaline, until he gets his hands on you. You rode it out on your hand as you pictured him fucking you like an animal. His teeth gritted, his muscles tense and tight, and his cock shooting cum over your face and breasts. It’d hurt, but you’d love that. Your juices coated your fingers, and you shivered as you came down into your post-orgasm glow. Gwinam finished beating up Jisung, who tearfully ran away when Gwinam and his friends let him go. Panting, running his hands through his hair, Gwinam stood there a moment while his friends left the building. You continued circling your sensitive nub, wishing you could go for a second time. The bold fantasy of you offering yourself to him right then crossed your mind, but no, you’d never do that. Then, the unthinkable happened.

Gwinam saw you. He’d turned his head casually; you supposed he’d done it to check if anyone had seen him, and spotted you in the other room. You froze in place, quickly withdrawing your hand from your panties. Due to the angle, Gwinam didn’t see your lower half, but him having seen you was enough. Dark eyes swept down the parts of your body he could see. What if he suspected what you’d done? What if he’d heard you and purposefully prolonged the beatdown? You gasped and whipped your body around out of sight. You worried he might confront you. You held back a whimper imagining him coming over to you, sticking his hands in your panties, and telling you how naughty you’ve been.

‘Insatiable slut. You can’t even wait until we’re alone to touch yourself for me. Do it again. Now.’

Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. You heard Gwinam’s friend call out to him, and you heard him leave. In reality, he’d never want to touch you. He’ll no doubt go to his friends and tell them what he suspected. They’ll taunt and tease you forever about it. Soomin and Hyejin would be disgusted with you, because even if you disliked them, they’re all you have. On wobbly legs, you picked up your things and left the construction site.

Your fantasies will always be exactly that. Fantasies. Nothing more.

How did you do it? How did you catch his attention when nothing else does? How do you make this entire world slow down when you walk past him? Any time Gwinam saw you, he swore everything around him stopped for you. Most girls at school didn’t have that effect on him. They were too skinny or too annoying. Gwinam liked girls with soft curves that made him drool. You are such a girl. The briefest of glances from you haunt him throughout the rest of the day. That small twinkle of acknowledgement sent him into a stunned silence for several seconds, if not minutes. So, to see you in that half-finished building, breathless and clutching the wall, inspired a fresh series of fantasies. He thought of going up to you in that building, pulling down your panties and shoving himself inside you. You’d stay up against that wall, shirt open and tits bouncing, as he pumped his cum into you. He loved your tits. And your thighs. He liked peeking at them during class. The desk always stopped just underneath them so he had a nice view. Lord knows what he’d do if you sat beside him. He’d leave class with wet fingers every day.

But, sadly, those dirty thoughts would never come to be. A smart, clever girl who always did well would never want an idiot like him. Girls like you wanted handsome, smart guys like Suhyeok. Gwinam is forced to live with thoughts of you in his arms in his dreams. You must be so soft. You always smell nice too. He’s noticed it before; it’s a flowery perfume that drew him to you. He thought of your laugh as he walked towards school with Myunghwa and the others. He wished he could be the one making you laugh. Visions of kissing you, walking hand-in-hand with you, and being with you clouded his mind. He’d be good to you. Gwinam wasn’t kind very often, but he’d treat you so well. He’d give you anything you wanted; do anything you asked of him.

He’d hurt someone for you, if you wished it.

The group entered the school before classes began, and Gwinam caught sight of you rushing past them. A hint of floral perfume hit his nose, causing him to breathe it deeply. He noticed you heading towards the bathrooms. He smirked. You must’ve made such a mess. Too bad he isn’t there to lick you clean. He shook the image of your soaked pussy from his head when Myunghwa smacked the nape of his neck.

“-Are you listening to me?” the short boy asked him irritably.

“Huh? Yeah, I was.”

Myunghwa scoffed disbelievingly. “Fucking idiot,” he said, “You never pay attention.”

“He was checking out Park YN,” Changhoon, another part of their group, smirked. “I can’t believe you like that fattie. She’s not even pretty in the face.”

“I wasn’t checking her out,” Gwinam said defensively. “I wouldn’t touch her even if she was the last girl on earth.” He considered the feeling might be mutual. You’d never truly like him. If you were doing what he thought, it must’ve been for someone else. The idea alone boiled his blood. “She’s ugly.”

No, you’re not. You’re beautiful. So beautiful. He thought of the other day when he saw you in the library. You often go there during lunch to catch up on homework or to read quietly. You liked reading, he noticed. You’d sat beside a window, and he admired how the sun caught in your hair, illuminating your face. He put the image to memory for those tough nights at home. Whenever his dad called him useless or his mom shook her head in disappointment, he pictured you in that chair. You’d lift your head, smile, and tell him he’s not a waste of space. You’d encourage and lift his spirits up…and he’d kiss you. He thought of your lips and the cherry lip balm he spotted in your bag. They must taste so good.

And he’d never have them. He’d never have you. He’s not supposed to like girls like you. He’s supposed to like skinny, pretty girls like your friends. Yet, those girls didn’t excite him like you did.

Myunghwa went on with some story about how someone mentioned his name in Jinsu’s disappearance. The police went to his house to question him. Gwinam wanted to tell him they’d done the same to him and the others. It’s not their fault Jinsu made it so easy for them; he never fought back until that night. Gwinam recalled the way his body hit the sign, hit a balcony, before finally crashing into the alleyway. He’d never seen a dead person before. He’d been sure that the police might arrest him. They could’ve found fingerprints on Jinsu’s skin or caught him on camera somehow. Yet, they’d done the opposite. They believed the story of them having been out in the street and nowhere near Jinsu’s last location.

Gwinam walked into class on his own, and spotted you in your usual seat next to him. You shared a desk space with your friend, Soomin, but his desk was across the aisle. He bit the inside of his lip seeing you crossed your legs under your desk. A small peek of your thigh high stocking stirred more dirty images in his mind. He liked how a bit of pudge went over the stocking bands; if he ever got his hands on those thighs, he’d lose his mind. He took his seat nearby and did his best to not look at you. He thought about the construction site again, picturing you fingering yourself to him and cumming hard on your pretty fingers. He shifted his gaze slightly to see your chest exactly where he knew it’d be. The combined picture of your thighs and your breasts caused him to swallow thickly and look elsewhere. He’d die of embarrassment if he got a hardon in class, but how could he ignore such a sensual sight?

As Mr. Lee, their science teacher, began class when Gwinam noticed you starting to pull off your blazer. Logic and reason said you must be hot, considering you’re sitting near the windows. But his horny, perverted mind said you were taking it off for him. You wore a tight shirt today, so it showed off the curves of your bosom and tummy. His jaw dropped when he spotted a white strap through the fabric. Your bra, he hoped. He quickly thought of you in his lap, wearing nothing but your skirt and stockings. No bra. No panties.

His phone buzzed in his pocket, and he dared a chance to look at it. A message from Myunghwa.

‘Wow, you got it bad for her, huh? Bet she’d crush you if she got on top.’

He clenched his jaw and put the phone away. Whenever he felt a new fantasy coming on, his friends ruined it for him. He wished he could sit closer. He wished he could talk to you, and only you. You’re so smart. You answer Mr. Lee’s questions without hesitation and so eloquently. Your friends might be pretty, but they’re complete airheads. You’re the intelligent one. The intelligent one with pretty lips and eyes that made him melt.

Gwinam went through absolute torture during class. Not even amusing himself by bullying Eunji distracted him. Seeing the buttons between your tits stretch from the size, he knew he’d have plenty of jerk-off scenarios tonight.

‘Gwinam? Could you help me with my shirt? It’s so tight and uncomfortable. Please, take it off me.’

He squeezed his eyes tightly and bit his tongue as the signal for lunch rang through the school.

‘The cold’s making my nipples hard. Would you warm them with your mouth? They’re so hard and my hands aren’t as warm as your tongue.’

Fucking hell. Gwinam stood up from his desk before you did, and decided a walk to the cafeteria might clear his head.

‘Oh, Gwinam, your cock’s so big-’

Fuck. No.

‘-Put it between my tits, and fuck them. I want to make you cum using my soft, huge tits.’

He pushed into a bathroom stall, locked the door and started unbuckling his pants.

‘God, they just swallow your dick. I can’t wait for you to cum all over them. I love cum. I want you to cum on me. Please, Gwinam, cover me in your yummy cum.’

His dick throbbed in his hand in every stroke. His eyes closed and he thought about you in the construction building. He thought of catching you touching yourself, and taking advantage of your vulnerable position. Gwinam pictured himself tearing off your clothes, exposing your luscious body, and tasting every inch of you. You’d struggle at first, pleading and whimpering for him to stop, but you’d soon give into him. Gwinam focused on the image of you riding him to climax. Your tight walls clenched hard around him as he rubbed his thumb over your clit; your breasts bouncing in his face until he suckled on one of them. The thought made him cum within minutes. That’s what you did to him. He wished you didn’t have such a fierce hold on him. He wished he didn’t desire you so much, but he couldn’t help it. He’d become completely blind to any other woman he met. He only wanted you.

Coming down from his orgasm, he cleaned himself up and decided to head to the cafeteria. He felt refreshed having gotten you out of his system. He wondered if he might see you there or if you’d go to the library again today. He didn’t care which one. He’d have to keep his leering to a minimum now that Myunghwa saw him looking at you. He came up with explanations to why he’d been looking your way, but none of them sounded convincing. When he entered the cafeteria, he did see you there. You stood in line with Soomin. You’d put your blazer back on, which dampened his spirits a bit. But then again, it might be good for him. He’d only just finished rubbing one out to you. He can’t do it twice in such a short amount of time.

He got into the line two people behind you, and looked at his phone instead. Myunghwa and Changsoon taunted him over what they’d seen in class. They made fun of you, talking about how your buttons must be holding on for dear life or telling him to be careful as you might break his bed getting into it. He wanted to kill them. He didn’t care if they talked badly about other girls; he didn’t want them talking badly about you. But, rather than tell them off, he joined in the conversation.

‘Kekeke, she probably jiggles around like jello.’

This amused them. Yet, he looked at you as the line moved. You styled your hair differently. Usually, you wore it tied back from your face, but today it flowed freely around your face. Gwinam did not have a particularly favorite look; he loved anything you wore or did to yourself. He watched you chat with Soomin. By your annoyed gaze and clenched jaw, he assumed you’re arguing quietly. No doubt your “friend” Choi Hyejin said something to upset you, and Soomin defended her. He often overheard you three talking at lunch or in class. He liked the sound of your voice, so sue him. Hyejin in particular liked putting you down, and you let her. Just like how he let Myunghwa talk down to him.

He shoved the person in front of him out of the way, stepping to them when they protested until they backed off.

“-She didn’t mean anything by it. She only meant that you’re not that good with guys, so she was trying to help,” Soomin said to you as you started down the line. “She didn’t know Namjoon planned anything until he said it.”

“Whatever.”

“Oh, YN, you know Hyejin cares about you. I do too.”

“Okay.”

You shut down. Whatever Soomin said to you left you defeated. He thought of pushing Soomin aside and holding you close. Whatever prank or mean thing Hyejin said to you would be smothered away by his kisses. He grabbed a tray, and began going down the line with you. Seeing your cold stare, and how you avoided Soomin’s gaze, you’d gotten locked inside your head. It happened to him a lot too. Whenever Myunghwa insulted or hit him, or whenever his father called him a worthless piece of shit, he’d sink into the dark, lonely place in his mind. If only he could pull you from it, then you would never feel pain again. Soomin must’ve given up trying to reach you, because then she scoffed and walked away to sit down. This left a gap between you and him. He thought about what he’d just done in the bathroom, and wished he’d taken you with him. As you reached the end of the line, the both of you reached for a pair of utensils at the same time.

“Oh, sorry,” you said timidly. “I didn’t…I’m sorry, I…”

“It’s okay,” he said, picking up one of the wrapped pairs to hand to you, “Here.”

“Thank you.”

Oh, your eyes. He never gave them enough appreciation. So much innocence and sweetness shined from them, yet they hid something much darker within. He could tell. He wanted to say more, but what? Rarely did he get this close to you. He was always worried someone might see and make fun of him for it. But, there’s nobody who matters around him. He saw you turn away from him shamefully. No doubt you’re remembering what happened on the construction site. When he did not look away from you, you squeaked out:

“I won’t tell anyone what I saw. I promise.”

Did you think he’d hurt you? “Good,” he said, bending down to your ear, “I won’t tell anyone what I saw either. I hope you enjoyed yourself.”

What in the hell was he doing? Trying to scare you away? He mentally kicked himself when he spotted your widening eyes. He watched you scurry away from him like a mouse, and it left him disheartened. He couldn’t help himself, could he? What did he think you’d say to that? Gwinam bit his tongue again, then went to sit with the gang. He forced himself not to look at you. Looking at you in front of the guys meant more teasing. He only liked one kind of teasing, and it was the teasing he got from you.

You woke up with a gasp. Your heart hammered in your ears, and suddenly you croaked in pain. You felt as if someone dislodged your bones, then put them back into place. Heat burned behind your eyes, and briefly you smelled blood all around you. Hunger. A distinct hunger rumbled in your body, but something inside you fought it back. Your mind went back and forth between this limbo of cravings and denials before you paused all together. You blinked your eyes a few times as your vision cleared.

It took several moments for you to register that you were soaked to the bones on the cafeteria floor. All around you, you hear gargled snarling and sharp hissing sounds. You heard feet shuffling or skidding across the floor; the cracking of bones made you flinch every time it sounded in the room. You kept your eyes closed, hoping if you open them, you’ll be back home in your bed. But, no you weren’t. You knew you weren’t.

Sitting up, you felt a distinct soreness in your neck, shoulder, stomach and arm. You looked down at your shaking hands to see them stained with blood. You found more of it on your uniform and stockings. You took deep breaths as you spotted the deep, crimson stain on your left forearm. Gingerly, you pulled up your sleeve to see a bite mark deep in your flesh. It looks fresh, as if it’d never healed. But, when you touched it, you felt no pain. The same was said for the scratches and bites on your stomach, the injuries having slashed through your shirt. You pressed down on the mark on your neck, only to hear the squishing of severed flesh. Curious, you poked your pinky into a hole in your neck, feeling no pain whatsoever. How could this be?

“Am I dead?”

You stared around the empty cafeteria. The people who’d been there had not escaped. The blood stains on the walls, windows, floors and tables told you as much. The creatures who’d once been classmates must’ve attacked the others, turning them into beasts as well. But, why had that not happened to you? You jumped suddenly when the gnashing, guttural sounds came from behind you. Your eyes widened in shock. Hyejin. At least, what was left of her. Hyejin, once dainty and posh, now cracked her neck this way and that as she snapped her jaws like a turtle. You saw her front covered in blood, more of it smeared around her mouth and on her hands. Blood red eyes instantly locked with yours. You let out a scream as she rushed towards you, hands outstretched and clawing for you. You shielded yourself in a fetal position, ready to be devoured by her, before you realized she wasn’t touching you. Hyejin, reeking of rotting flesh, only hunched a few inches from you. You heard her sniffing the air around her. She moved her head side to side, still biting and growling as drool came from her yellowed teeth. But, she did not touch you.

Soon, Hyejin backed away. She jolted upright, and began moving from you to the center of the room. You realized she was not the only one in the room. Other students who’d sat in the cafeteria now jerked and stumbled around. You stood up, almost slipping on the wet floors, and waited for one of them to notice you. But, none of them did. They should be charging at you; they should be ripping and tearing at your body, but they did not. To them, you’re not there. Touching your wounded neck again, you realized something: You’d become one of them. That is why they did not attack you as you walked out of the cafeteria.

Nor when you reached the pathways outside school. All around you, students walked around, sniffing and searching for more human meat. None of them bothered you unless you bothered them first. Even then, they only snapped their teeth at you before moving away. It felt surreal. An ignorant person might believe they’re in a dream, but you knew better. Whatever happened here has led to hundreds of students being infected with a mind altering disease. You wondered what could’ve caused this as you walked around the school. Biochemical warfare? Chemical lab experiment gone wrong? You couldn’t think of anything else. You could only focus on trying not to attract any of the zombies around you.

It all came back to you as you walked. One minute, you’d been apologizing to Hyejin for what you’d said about her, and the next a rush of students flooded the room. You’d been the first to stand from your seat. You remembered students screaming with terror as they ran through the cafeteria. You remembered seeing the things chasing them: other students, all of them red-eyed and feral. They screeched and growled hysterically, as if possessed by demons. But, that’s childish; this was something worse. You’d grabbed your bag once you saw an infected student tackle a girl by the wall and instantly bite into her throat. Soomin, the athlete, managed to get to a back door before either you or Hyejin. Some friends. It truly became every man for himself. Hyejin had screamed in absolute terror when one zombie, a large boy, blundered after her. You remember being a few steps ahead of her by then. You’d reached for the kitchen doors when a hand yanked your head back.

Hyejin used you as a means of escape. You’d slipped and tripped over the floors as the sprinkles above went off, causing it to rain inside the cafeteria. The large zombie grabbed hold of you, but you’d managed to fight him off. Another zombie, a girl with short hair, launched at you. That’s how your arm was bitten. But, you hadn’t stayed under her for long, since you threw her off you. You’d gotten up a second time where you watched Hyejin running through the kitchen to the back doors. Seeing it up ahead, you knew instinctively she’d close the door on you if she reached it. You recall leaping. You never leapt before, but you leapt towards Hyejin. Your hands found her long dark hair, fisted it tightly, and dragged her from the door. She fell to the ground with a painful groan. By the back door, you saw the two zombies attack her. You sidestepped another zombie when you realized the back door was locked. Running into the main kitchen, you dodged zombies and screamed when one of them lurched for you. Due to the slippery floor and chaos of humans and zombies, you’d fallen face forward. All air knocked out of you, you scrambled up before a zombie caught you.

That’s when more of them came. You squeezed your eyes tightly as you thought of the stink of death and harsh pain of teeth breaking skin. You’d howled from the nails digging into your skin, and the number of zombies all vying for a piece of you. Kicking and screaming, you eventually caved when one of them sunk his teeth into your neck, the one that was most obvious to you. You touched it again, walking back into the school to the library, your sanctuary. You didn’t find anyone there. It appeared whatever zombies were here had left.

Empty. That is what the world became: empty. Yet, it didn’t feel like it to you. You heard the sounds of zombies groaning outside perfectly. You could smell the paper of the books underneath the foul odor of blood and corpses. Tapping a table, the sound was louder to you. Your ears became sensitive to any sound you made after. You guessed the other zombies, mindless and aimless, reacted to noise as well. Grabbing a book, you opened the window to test your theory. You saw several zombies walking around the fields outside. You launched the book out the window, watching it fall and crash onto the ground. The small slap alerted every zombie within a twenty foot radius. They clambered over to the sound, but growled their discontent when they only smelled more dead flesh. So, a unique sense of sound. You wondered what else your new existence brought you.

This heightened sense came in handy an hour or so later. You’d been setting small fires across the library, trying to see how far your sense of smell went, when you heard it. At first, you thought it might be another zombie, but your new nose said otherwise. The newcomer did not smell like rotting flesh or congealed blood. They were something in between. You took a whiff around, and the trail led towards the library entrance. You’d been thinking of testing out your strength and speed. You saw how indestructible your fellow zombies were: you’d been throwing computer parts at them from above and barely making a dent. You might have a similar strength. You knew whatever being sauntered into your hideout will be your guinea pig. You put out your small bonfire with a wet paper towel, and followed the sounds and smells with your new body.

You made to move, but the intruder stepped out from behind the bookcases. It was Gwinam, except he looked drastically different from the boy you saw this morning. Firstly, he wore a new jacket that obviously wasn't his. Secondly, a hideous, nauseating gash went through his left eye, leaving a gory mess behind. He stopped when he saw you. You stared at him. He stared at you. Neither of you said anything. It was like meeting one of the zombies; you did not have to speak to understand one another.

"You too?" He asked, his deep voice breaking the silence.

"Yeah."

"In the cafeteria?"

"Yeah. You?"

"In here."

"When?"

"A few hours ago. Cheongsan pushed me off there," he pointed to one of the high bookcases, "And I got bit." His good eye surveyed you from afar.

"And your eye?"

"He shoved a phone into it."

"A phone?"

The idea of a cell phone never occurred to you. You could've called for help, but that didn't seem to matter anymore. Who could help you? And if help was called, they would have come by now. "Yeah, the corner part," he said, acting out the gesture with a stabbing motion, "But it's whatever. I don't really feel it. I plan on killing him." He spotted the deep wounds on your neck, and said, "Those don't bother you either?"

"Not really. I thought they'd at least itch, but they haven't," you said. "I tried recording the healing process, but it's very slow. I think because we're still partly human, we can't feel the pain but our muscles and skin react to it. Look, see," you showed him your bite marks, the skin barely together but no longer leaking blood. "It stopped bleeding, but the wound hasn't healed."

"Is that what you've been doing here?" He gestured to the trash can at your feet. "Experimenting?"

"Well, yes," you said, sheepishly. "I want to see what my body is capable of now that I've reached this new level of being. My senses are certainly sharper: I can smell things from at least twenty feet; I'm able to hear things from a further distance too, since sound echoes and bounces. I've discovered I don't die. I can't die. Seeing you now, I'm assuming it's the same for you?"

"Yeah."

You caught him looking over your body again. You became self-conscious immediately. Being undead, you doubted you'd lose any weight from your previous life. Add the disgusting bites and scratches on your flabby flesh, and you're absolutely distasteful. You didn't need Gwinam staring at you like that.

"Stop it," you said, not meeting his eyes.

"Stop what?"

"Looking at me. You don't see me staring at your eye, do you? I don't need reminding of how ugly I am."

"You're not ugly."

You scoffed, "Please, don't insult my intelligence. I know how my body looks."

"I know too, and I like it."

"Huh?" You saw it once you met his eyes.

"Nothing about your body has ever bothered me," he said, licking his lips at you. "In fact, everything about it turns me the fuck on."

You walked backwards from him as he approached. Your heart thumped in your chest, the sound spreading to your ears and freezing your bones. A sudden heat flared up in your body, and you gulped thickly as it went all over. The glint in his eye is unmistakable, and it excites you. Never did you think this would happen. Yoon Gwinam was only meant for your dirtiest, smuttiest fantasies reserved for lonely nights at home. Yoon Gwinam was the forbidden fruit that you'd never reach; Hyejin and Soomin being the ones raising the branch with each disgusted word. Yet, as the world turned upside down, those fantasies quickly turned into reality as Gwinam moved towards you.

"You make my cock so fucking hard," he nearly growled, already unbuckling his pants. "It drives me crazy. I have to sit in class…seeing you there in that little skirt…seeing your tits almost bursting out of your shirt…I know why you wear it that way…you like showing off those big tits just for me, don't you?" The way he walked reminded you of Jisung from that morning. A lion coming upon its prey. Something about this brazen, direct Gwinam caused your mind to wander back into those fantasies. "And don't get me started on those thighs of yours,” his eyes scanned your body and stopped to your thighs, “I love looking at them, especially when you wear stockings…the way they hug your thighs so some pudges out…fuck, you know it does things to me…"

"What?" Your voice quivered slightly.

"Don't act innocent with me," he said, getting closer. His dark eyes full of frustration and lust brought back to the last scenario you imagined. Your arousal throbbed between your legs. "You act all clean cut but I know deep down you're just a whore who wants to be fucked senseless every second of the day.” He unzipped his fly, but did not pull anything out, "You made me so horny in class that I jerked off in the bathroom during lunch. I remembered you at the construction site, all breathless and horny, and I couldn't help it."

He came within inches of you. The heavy scent of blood and sweat reached your nose, and you bit your bottom lip. A sharp gasp left you when his body pressed into yours. Gwinam tugged down the front of his pants and boxers to withdraw his dick. The sight made you wet instantly. Not too long, it was certainly thick with heavy balls underneath. You knew you'd definitely feel him stretching you soon. You already imagined it tearing you apart as he ravaged your body.

"Open your shirt and let me see those tits," he demanded, eyes focused on your chest. "You were so eager to show them before. I want to see them now."

With trembling fingers you unbutton your shirt. Underneath, Gwinam saw the white undershirt you wore stretched over your large breasts. You untucked your shirt so he may see more of you, which he liked. You worried about the gashes zombies left on your stomach and chest, but Gwinam hardly noticed them. He sailed up your body past them and to your breasts. He cupped one right away, causing you to whimper from the touch. Gwinam smirked and squeezed it so you whimpered again. You never considered stimulation before this moment. You might not feel any pain, but you certainly felt the small sparks his hand alone brought. His hands warmed up as they fondled you over your bra and shirt, the temperature hardened your nipples so they poked into the fabric. The cotton fabric of your bra did nothing to hide this from Gwinam, who bent down to bite gently down on one. You made a mental note to write down ‘sexual stimulation’ as part of your human side.

He put your hand on his crotch, and instinctively you grabbed it. You liked the feel of him against your fingers. Even with his half undead existence, his body felt human as ever. You sensed the blood pumping through his cock, and could almost smell it through the thin skin. Big hands remained nearly lukewarm on your chest; their gentle squeezes were certainly stronger than your daydreams concocted. Full lips didn’t skip over the bite mark on your neck, kissing upwards and licking the dried blood. The feeling of his tongue against your skin sent chills down your body. You needed more of him. You continued lightly touching his cock, sometimes slipping lower to the ball sack underneath, which caused several deep groans.

“You feel so fucking good,” he groaned in your ear, still fondling your breasts. “So addicting,” he went back to kissing your neck, “I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“I don’t want you to stop.”

You brought him into a kiss, and you're thankful he didn't pull away. His plush lips caressed yours, carefully opening them with a small flick on your bottom lip. Blood tinged your lips, sliding from one tongue to the other, but you liked it. That undeniable hunger for flesh and blood came over you; you growled and sunk further into his kiss. You didn’t know if a half-zombie could eat another half-zombie, but you found his taste to be particularly intoxicating. You pushed yourself against him, roaming his body with your free hand to unzip his jacket There, you found his bloodied black sweater where zombies bit into his torso. You didn’t mind it. This new discovery only aroused you more. It was as if he'd opened the floodgates repressing your desires. You couldn’t stop yourself.

"Let's get rid of this," he growled between kisses.

He took the collar of your tanktop and tore it open easily. Gwinam groaned at the sight of your tight white bra, which squeezed your breasts more than you liked. He kissed fiercely along them, even giving a bite that pinched you, groping and squeezing them. You kept your hand on him, his shaft growing even harder while you jerked him. The touch made your sex clench within you, and your clit throbbed from the newest sensation. Gwinam roughly tugged down your bra, so your tits spilled over the wire supporting them. He stopped kissing you to admire the soft mounds filling his hands. You whined as he grazed his thumbs over your nipples, the two peaks hard against the rough pads.

"Fuck," he moaned, kissing one of them, "They're exactly how I imagined them to be. So big and soft. I could suck these all day." He took it in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it and sucking hard. He did this to each one since you squirmed at the mixture of pain and pleasure. "You can't imagine," he grunted, nipping at your tits, "How many times I felt like ripping your shirt open to play with them…How many times I thought of taking you…fucking you…raping you…"

"Gwinam…" you whimpered at his words, the filth causing you to stroke him faster. Droplets of precum stuck to your hand and slickened your motions. This only amplified your arousal.

"Like today with Jisung," he flicked his tongue over the very middle, which sent shocks of pleasure down your body. "I saw you standing there watching me hit him. I saw how you panted and bit your lower lip. You were touching yourself, and I wanted more than anything to fuck you. I wanted to chase you down, rip off your panties and have my way with you…whether you wanted it or not. I don’t care anymore.” He sucked particularly hard on one nipple, then came back up to you, “I’m the boss here now. I can have whatever and whoever I want, especially you.” He cupped your chin for a hard kiss, “I should’ve fucked you there. I would’ve given you the fucking little teases like you deserve.”

"What stopped you?" You asked him breathlessly, sliding one hand over his shoulder to feel more of him. You started pumping him faster. "Hm? What stopped big bad Gwinam from fucking the shit out of me right outside our school? You could've tossed me on the floor, fucking me into the dirt or into the bushes with your hand over my mouth-"

He cut you off by grabbing your throat. The slender digits squeezed both sides of your neck, cutting off air but not hurting you. The pain came from the harsh slap that went across your cheek. When you cried out, he did it again to the opposite cheek. He stared at you for a moment, surveying the need written on your face. Your clit throbbed for his attention, hoping your grinding hips might clue him into that. He then slapped you again, then kissed you roughly.

"You filthy slut," he grunted against your lips. "You like that, huh?” he smacked you again, “You like being hit?”

The truth was: yes, you did. The stinging pain mingled with the desire burning inside you. Being in his strong grasp, pinned by his long body, you knew you could easily escape him. This elevated, evolved being you’ve become came with a strength you’d never known before. It made you invincible. Breaking away from him wouldn’t be a problem, yet you don’t push or thrash in his clutches. You instead spread your thighs and begin pumping him once more. From his heavy breathing, you knew you’d gotten the effect you wanted.

“Let me see for myself then.” He stuck his hand under your skirt and roughly pushed your panties aside. You gasped from the sudden invasion of his fingers on your sex. Boys touched you there before, but not like how Gwinam did. Three fingers cupped your dampening center to rub carefully up and down; he didn’t care if you let him or not, your pussy was his now. “Oh, you do enjoy this kind of thing,” he sneered, releasing your throat and grabbing at your hair instead. A quick tug and a forceful pull brought you to your knees in front of him. “I’m going to show you what I would’ve done if I’d caught you. Open.”

He prodded his tip to your lips, which opened right away. The taste of salty precum slid over your tongue and savored the sticky substance. A huge part of your fantasies finally came true. Gwinam kept his hold on your hair while he guided you over his hips. The girth of his filled your mouth completely, and his head hit your throat once or twice. It’s exactly how you imagined. You sucked the hard muscle firmly, a move that made Gwinam groan. You wanted to please him; you wanted his approval and satisfaction. It became harder to breathe once he forced you right up to his base. You gripped your knees tightly as pain started burning your throat and chest. Inhaling through your nose, you tried your best to breathe as Gwinam’s cock nearly suffocated you. You loved it. Something about his dick blocking your airway, causing you to gag and choke on it excited you. Your eyes teared up whenever he held you to him for too long, only moving his tip from your throat in short strokes. Yet, you did not object or force him away. You hummed in your throat as he moved in and out. When he mumbled about enjoying it, you kept on going. Streams of his precum and your saliva started dripping from your mouth, leaking through the corners. You pointedly rocked backward and forward so your tits jiggled for him, and you saw him eye them right away. When he pulled away, streams of it came out and you gasped for air.

“Look at you,” he groaned, tapping his wet cock on your lips and cheeks. “You love choking on dick,” he sneered, pushing his tip into your mouth once more. He kept you still with one hand under your chin and the other on the back of your head. More tears spilled down your cheeks as he fucked your throat. You started playing with your nipples, and moaned around his shaft. “Your mouth is fucking heaven,” he moaned, “Like a silk toy. Because that’s all you are…A mindless, stupid fuck toy for me to use whenever I want.”

Your muffled moans made him laugh. “And, to think, what I’ve become gives me so much more stamina than before,” he continued, shoving himself fully inside. “I can do all the dirty things I’ve wanted to do with you, and never get tired,” he withdrew himself to let you breathe, “And you know what that means, right?” As you tried swallowing the thickness in your mouth, he said, “It means you’re going to learn what happens to sluts who think they can flash their tits and ass at me. You thought you could flaunt those thighs and those tits and that ass and I’d do nothing about it? Hm?” He plunged his cock right back into your mouth, laughing as you cried. “And there’s nobody around to stop me; nobody to laugh at me about it. It’s only you and me, and you make me horny nearly every second of the day.” He thrusted rapidly, drowning out your cries with his moans. “That means you might as well not wear anything at all.”

He pulled out a final time, and watched you sputter and gasp for air. You massaged your throat, which felt hoarse and ached. Gwinam tugged your head back, and rested his balls right on your mouth. You knew exactly what to do. You took one in your mouth for a tender suck, licking your tongue over the curves and skin. Gwinam stroked himself slowly as you tongued his balls; he occasionally grinded into your face so you’d swallow the whole thing. Little moans vibrated over the sensitive skin, and Gwinam gritted his teeth. You grabbed his thighs for some stability, a thing he did not deny you, and buried your face further into his crotch. Gwinam pulled his balls away and had you lick his shaft up and down while you fondled them instead. Your pussy became so wet, you felt your juices sliding between your thighs. You loved how he used you. You loved giving yourself over to him entirely, and being the sex doll he wanted. Gwinam is the only boy you ever considered yourself fucking this way; you knew he had the ferocity, the depravity, the perversion to do it how you’d wanted. Other boys you’d managed to hook up with always showed hesitancy. Not Gwinam. You’ll be his whore and nothing else.

That was what you wanted.

Long, drawn out moans and panting preceded the thick, hot semen suddenly filling your mouth. You eagerly and greedily swallowed the substance going down your throat. It tasted delicious. Whether it was being undead or because it was Gwinam, you swallowed his whole load. Gwinam’s orgasm made him push harder and faster, making your neck and jaw burn from the pain. He didn’t stop until each drop left his tip and into your mouth. You swallowed whatever he left, even opening your mouth to let him squeeze it onto your tongue.

“You’re the perfect cum dump,” he breathed, running his tip over your lips so you’d lick off the droplets remaining. When he spotted worry in your eyes, he laughed, “Don’t worry. There’s more where that came from. Stand up,” he ordered, lifting you with little effort, and turning you around.

Excitement brought out your smile as he forced you to bend over. Your mind whirled from the thoughts going through your head. Spreading your legs, you arched your back slightly for him to see underneath. He lifted up your skirt to show your panties, and the cold air touched over your sex. No doubt he saw the wet spot pooled right in the center, since he then cupped it in his hand. Long fingers rolled up and down each inch of your sex, and stopped right at your clit. Your cotton panties, white and cheap, must be almost see through with how wet you’d made them.

“Your pussy is so fucking wet,” he moaned, one finger finding your clit and teasing it gently. “I thought about it so many times. Even today, when I jerked off during lunch, I thought of your sweet, tight cunt.”

“And I thought of your dick in it,” you admitted, whining when you felt his finger push delicately against your panties. “I want it so bad. I can’t think about anything else when I’m…I’m around you, oh fuck…”

His fingers teasing your clit only caused more wetness to develop. Gwinam then took both sides of your panties and threaded them between your buttocks and folds. A small bit covered your clit yet exposed it to him at the same time. While one hand spanked your ass cheeks, the other used the tip of his finger to pass over the sensitive nub. Streams of mewls, cries, and whimpers left your lips. Every little touch to it tightened the ball building inside your loins. He knew exactly what to do, and how to make you whine like a bitch in heat. Gwinam’s constant torture had you clawing the table and wriggling around in front of him. You thought you might cum from just the teasing alone.

“Fuck,” he hissed, “I could feel that pussy fluttering for me already.” He moved his finger side to side and threw down more sharp spanks to your ass. “I bet you’re dying to have me in there, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” you sobbed, “Yes, yes, please.”

“Please, what, slut?”

“Please fuck me,” you said, tears brimming your eyes.

“Ummm, no.”

Using both hands, Gwinam did not pull off your panties. He did not slowly peel them off and slide them to your ankles. He took the seam keeping front and back together and tore it apart. The sound of shredding fabric reached your ears. He did not remove the waistband. He only ripped it enough to expose your ass and pussy to him, leaving a long tear that went from back to front. Gwinam left your side and crouched down behind you. You felt him dangerously close to your center; you shuddered when something hot and slippery slide over your clit. Gwinam pulled the lips apart and focused his tongue there. You cried out feeling the tip circle it repeatedly; you grabbed at the table whenever he dipped beneath or on top of it slowly. The obscene lapping and slurping from below added to your uncontrollable moans. When he turned you around, your thighs immediately locked around him and with your own strength, you forced his mouth to take your clit. Gwinam gazed up in amusement, eagerly sucking and licking the cunt right in his face. He didn’t stop you from grinding over his mouth and nose; it’s not as if he’d suffocate. That was a perk of being partly dead, you guessed.

“I’ve wanted this for s-s-so long,” you said, gasping when his tongue entered your clenching and unclenching walls. “Oh god, just like that,” you started fucking his face in return, “Your tongue feels so fucking good! Ah!” his sudden grasp of your thighs with a hard smack let out a sudden squeak from you. “I’ve wanted you to fuck me for such a long time. My pussy gets wet just looking at you. I thought…I thought if I teased you, you’d give in and take me. I would’ve let you fuck me however you wanted, as long as I got your cock inside me.” You gripped his hair, soft and silky in your hand, and cried out from the pleasure he brought. “I saw you beat up Jisung, and I couldn’t help…couldn’t help touching myself to it. You being so big and long and strong-”

Gwinam interrupted you by rolling you backwards so your body curled into a c-shape. He pinned your knees to your chest as he wagged his tongue over your pussy. That’s when you came. In a blinding, gut-tensing, muscle-contracting orgasm, you came right on his face. Gwinam only growled his delight at your cum in his mouth. You bucked your hips around, the table underneath you moving slightly, and pushed into his face more. He sucked up all the juices until your clitoris turned sensitive from your climax; it didn’t stop him. Gwinam kissed down to your ass hole where his tongue moved teasingly before coming back up. You're normally concerned with him going from one hole to the other, but not anymore. You’re dead. What infections could you get from it?

“Looks like,” he said, kissing up the backs of your thighs, “We’re both going to get what we want then.”

With total ease, he pulled you to the edge of the table and onto his cock. Keeping your thighs on your stomach, Gwinam charged into you as he liked: hard and rough. The stings of pain did nothing to you. It only made you want to cum again.

“Oh my god,” he growled, squeezing your thighs tightly. “You really must be a whore to take my dick so well. You’re the perfect fuck hole; the perfect cum dump…and you’re all mine.”

“Yes, yes, I am.”

He grabbed your throat, hovering over you and making you face him as you moaned his name. Your lips parted from your constant moans, Gwinam spat into your mouth. He slapped you when you didn’t swallow it immediately. He did it a second time, and you bent to his whims. Then, he gave you another sloppy kiss. You loved the dirtiness of it all; you craved more and more of it. You’d dreamt of this moment for months; you’d desired, lusted, and fantasized about it. When Gwinam grabbed your wrists to keep you on the table, hungrily kissing you, you almost came again. His shirt brushed lightly on your clit which made you weak and shuddering. Biting down on your neck, you winced from the pain, but you knew it wouldn’t last.

“Push back on me,” he said, kissing down to your nipples where he sucked harshly. “Show me how badly you’ve wanted this dick, slut.”

Wrapping your legs around his waist, you kept Gwinam in place as you pushed your hips into his own. His thick cock stretched you pleasantly, bringing you nothing but pleasure as you drove him deep inside. Gwinam stuck out his tongue to let your nipple brush over the flat part, flicking it once or twice or sucking it for you. You purposefully made them bounce in his face which made him growl and grunt. He let go of your wrists and grabbed your tits. His tongue teasing your nipples and his dick hitting that spot inside your pussy brought you closer to another orgasm.

“Gwinam, Gwinam, I’m going to cum,” you wept, the pleasure overwhelming your body. “Oh fuck, you’re going to make me cum again.”

“Good. Do it,” he gripped you by the chin, “Cum on my dick. Do it. Now.”

The second wave made you scream. You worried undead classmates might hear you, but they must’ve been somewhere else. Not that it mattered. They didn’t touch you. Only Gwinam touched you, and he rode out your orgasm in a few thrusts. Still shivering and whimpering, Gwinam ignored your weakened state and tossed you onto the library floor. On your front, air punched out of you for a second before he was on top of you. Without warning, his fingers entered your ass, and his cock shoved into your pussy. You arched your back for him, nearly dizzy from your orgasms and his relentless abuse of your body. And then he fucked you. He fucked you exactly how you’d always wanted. The depravity of the scene made your head swim in the haze of it all. With his free hand, Gwinam gripped your throat so your head lifted from the floor. The slight pressure cut your airway, but not enough that you’d suffocate completely.

“I’m going to cum in all your holes,” he huffed, his fingers knuckle deep in your ass while his dick filled you. “You’re going to be limping out of this library with cum dripping from you. I only wish everyone was alive…then they can see what a fucking…fucking…fucking whore YN is!”

More cum squirted into your pussy, and you couldn’t be bothered to protest. You accepted every drop. “Please cum in me,” you cried, fists underneath you and humping his cock, “Please. I want you to fill each one, please.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll be more than filled,” he grunted, going faster and harder like before.

In a few more strokes, he finished his second orgasm. You took a moment to notice that he did not need a small refractory period. A surprise perk to being dead, you supposed. Not even taking a moment to breathe, Gwinam removed his fingers from your ass and laid back on the floor. You knew immediately what he wanted. You turned around to stuff his coated cock in your mouth, slobbering over it to make it wet as possible. Gwinam groaned, hands going through his hair as pleasure came over him again. A part of you wanted to stay there, cleaning his cock of your combined juices until he came again, but you knew what your lover really wanted. When his cock was prepared, you turned your back to him and sunk down on it…with your ass. This new tightness had Gwinam cursing and moaning your name. You leaned forward, broken panties and skirt over your hips so he’d have a perfect view of your ass, and bounced as much as you could.

Being undead left you stronger and faster. Before, you could never properly ride a guy. Your body felt too heavy and you worried you’d hurt them somehow. Not Gwinam. He handled you with ease, and you had no trouble riding him. You wanted him to cum again. You enjoyed his deep, throaty groans and the names he called you. He dominated you and you couldn’t help but submit. He went back to smacking and grabbing your ass while you touched your soaked, hard clit again. If anyone came upon you two, it’d certainly be a feast for the eyes. The feeling of him fully driving into you, stretching and filling you, drove you wild. You did whatever you could to milk more cum from him.

“Stay still,” he ordered, and you stopped at once. Luckily, it was for him to continue the pace on his own. “Your ass is as good as your pussy, fuck,” he panted, grabbing your hair to pull you backwards, “I could fuck this forever.”

“I wish you would,” you replied, meeting his hips nevertheless so loud smacking sounds filled the space. “I want to be a good toy and make you cum.”

“Oh my god,” he grunted, “Say that again. Say it.”

“I want to be a good toy and make you cum.”

“Then make me cum, slut. Come on,” he smacked your ass hard, “Make me cum with that fat, round…oh fuck, yes, yes, like that-”

The sheer motion of him cumming in your ass had you joining him. You kept going, not feeling exhausted at all. In fact, it heightened every sense. Everything became clearer, and the hunger nestled inside you had you slamming down on him. Once you drained him of cum, Gwinam still did not stop. He seemed incapable of it, and you did not complain. Rolling you onto your side, hands on your breasts, he used one leg to spread your thighs and sink back into your pussy. He let you continue your third orgasm on your own, rubbing your clit and pinching your nipples. You screamed once more as the climax truly hit you this time. Gwinam smacked your clit a few times during it, the light stings having you saying his name. He put you into a scissor position, the new angle driving home and leaving you senseless beneath him. Squelching sounds told you that his cum mixed with yours, and leaked out of your sex. You almost felt it pooling underneath him in every thrust. The new pace and position had you screaming his name a fourth time, and his own soon followed.

You did this for a while. It felt as if all those months of repressed feelings and sexual frustration exploded into this unrelenting, insatiable bomb. You couldn’t stop. You both bit, clawed, slapped, spat and growled throughout the day. Yes, the day. It was a thing you didn’t think possible until you’d turned into this half-human, half-zombie lifeform. Gwinam took you on every possible surface: the tables, chairs, against bookshelves and cabinets. It continued even against the glass doors where the bloody, snarling, stumbling and shuffling zombies went right by. The most exciting was when he fucked you right in the hallway, having you on all fours as he grunted about people watching you both. Pure bliss. That’s all it was.

Fantasies do come true.

***

A/N: wow, this one is wild! lol it's one of my longer pieces, but I hope you still enjoyed this. It's my first Gwinam fic, and I'm really proud of it. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed it <3

#yoon gwinam #yoon gwinam x reader #gwinam x reader #all of us are dead #aouad #aouad fanfiction #aouad fanfic #aouad smut #gwinam smut #yoon gwinam smut #yoon gwi nam

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jae-bummer · 1 year

Text

You Are Everything

Request: 20 and binnie??

Prompt:

20) You confess to your idol while sleep talking.

Pairing: Stray Kids Changbin x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Grumbling, you smacked weakly at Chan's arm as he tugged you toward Changbin's room. "Don't wanna."

"Just watching you nap made my whole body hurt," Chan chuckled, holding nearly all of your body weight as he hauled you down the hallway. "The couch is definitely not the most comfortable place."

"If I get in bed, I'm going to sleep too deeply," you complained as Chan shouldered open the door. "I told Bin-"

"Yes, we all know you're going to get dinner together," Chan grinned. "He mentioned it at least four times before he went to the gym."

You pouted as he eased you on to the bed. Pushing delicately on your shoulders until you laid back, he then picked up your ankles and tucked your legs under the blankets. "Better?"

You blinked up wearily to the shadow of Chan in front of you. Gazing sleepily around the room, you took in your surroundings. Sure, you had been in Changbin's room a handful of times, but you had never planned to make yourself cozy there. There were blackout curtains hung slightly crooked over the window, a large desk with Changbin's computer setup, and mood lighting everywhere. As you settled deeper into the mattress, you couldn't help but notice the small collection of plushies nestled there with you. "I'm not going to tell you that you were right."

"Of course not," Chan laughed in amusement. "Gotta have some self respect."

You shook your head and giggled lightly before turning away from him. "Wake me up if he isn't back in an hour."

"I won't," Chan sang as he began to leave. "Sleep well, Y/N!"

Changbin hummed happily to himself as he typed in the code to enter the dorm. He was always happy when the prospect of food was on the horizon, but this would be better than his average meal.

"Y/N, Y/N, Y/N," he chanted happily to himself as he pushed open the door. With a smile already stretching across his face, he popped off his shoes and dropped his bag. He had already showered and changed at the gym so he was ready to capture your heart through your stomach.

For the better part of a year, he had been trying to convince himself that he wasn't attracted to you. Doing that was much easier than convincing his friends, as they had all been pushing him to make his move before it was too late.

After a long and somewhat stern conversation over drinks with his older members the night before, he had finally settled on it. He was going to confess tonight over delicious food. It was going to be perfect.

"Hey," Changbin grunted, his eyes sweeping across the living area. "Where's Y/N?"

"There's no "hello friends?"" Han asked, quirking a brow. "No "how was your day?""

"Nope," Hyunjin clucked from his spot by the window. Sketch pad in hand, he didn't even bother looking up. "We're old news now, Hannie."

Changbin rolled his eyes before looking helplessly to Chan. The oldest member smiled up at him. "They're in your bed."

It took a few moments for that to sink into Changbin's understanding. "I, I'm sorry, what?"

"They're in your bed," Chan repeated simply before looking back to his phone. "They were tired."

"So...my bed was the best place?" Changbin croaked. At rapid speed, the contents of his room came streaking past his mind. Did he have anything embarrassing out? Had he remembered to handle laundry? Oh god, were his sheets fresh?

"Bin?"

Changbin looked up in surprise. "What?"

"I said you should probably go wake them so you're not late for dinner," Chan hummed. His eyes danced mischievously.

"Right," Changbin nodded. Taking a deep breath, he remained locked in his spot. "Right."

Chan shook his head before standing and giving a firm push to Changbin's shoulder.

"Right," Changbin repeated, finally willing his steps to move him toward his room.

If he hadn't known any better, he could have sworn that a hummingbird had taken up residence where his heart previously sat. Just the image of you in his bed was making him feel fuzzy along the edges. The cuteness would easily overwhelm his senses and he was certain to short circuit and fall to the floor.

Pressing slowly against the handle, he eased the door open. Trying to adjust his eyes to the darker lighting, he stuck his head into the room before his body. He could see your face scrunched up in sleep, your body nestled in a sea of blankets.

If a button smash could be described with a sound, Changbin made it. Springing backward out of the room, he paced quickly back down the hall and faced Chan. "They're in my bed."

"Good on you for catching up," Chan laughed. "Wake them."

"Right," he said quietly before turning on his heel and heading back in the direction he had just came from.

"Wake Y/N up," he confirmed quietly to himself. Pushing the door further open, he took measured steps.

Finally getting to the edge of the bed, he lowered himself to his knees. Now crouched eye level with the mattress, he leaned forward and set his elbows on the blankets. Sliding his chin into his palm, he allowed himself a moment just to look at you.

You were the most adorable person he had ever seen, especially while asleep. Carefully moving his free hand, he reached forward to smooth out the small worry line in between your brows. The contact didn't wake you, but only caused you to stir.

"Mmmm," you groaned. Changbin's hand slowly moved back, unsure of what he should do next.

"Y/N?" he whispered. Deciding to set his fingers on your arm, he rubbed small, gentle circles into your skin. "Y/N, it's time to get up."

Maybe he had made his voice too light or you had been sleeping too hard, but you refused to open your eyes. Taking a deep breath, Changbin moved to wiggle your arm but instantly stopped as you began to make noise again.

"Binnie," you groaned, flopping to face him more directly.

"Yes?" he said, his voice barely above a breath.

"Bin," you squeaked again. Changbin hummed as he began to comprehend the situation. You were still no where near awake, so you must be sleep talking.

"Why are you so handsome?" you slurred with sleep. "So handsome, my Binnie."

Changbin's eyes grew wide as his hands flew to his mouth. He looked from you and back to the door to confirm no one was watching (or playing a joke). Confirming the two of you were alone, he let out a silent shriek of excitement.

"I like you so much," you sighed happily. "So so much."

Changbin remained still, which was a fairly impossible feat for him. He could feel himself slipping into excitement, unintentionally vibrating his own body. Were you talking about him still? Following your string of mumbling definitely made him think you were.

"My Binnie," you croaked again with a small stretch. "Mine, mine, mine."

At this point, Changbin could hardly contain himself. Wiggling in place, he finally let a high-pitched cry escape.

Immediately clapping a hand to his lips again, he watched as you finally opened your eyes. Squinting at him, you let out a small chuckle of surprise. "Hey."

"Hello..." Changbin said slowly, giving you a bit of a side eye.

"I thought I felt someone watching me," you grinned. "Creep."

Changbin nodded in what appeared to be agreement which caused you to laugh even harder. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you waited for him to respond. After several moments of him just staring dreamily at you, you realized he had no intention of breaking the silence.

"What's up with you?" you sighed, tucking your hands under your head. "Are you mad I messed up your bed?"

He shook his head quickly before glancing around the room. He seemed to be assessing just what was left on the floor and other surfaces. You didn't care if he was messy, it was his room after all.

"I'm sorry, but I have never heard you so quiet in the entirety of our friendship," you smiled. You couldn't say you didn't enjoy it though. The way he was gazing at you was doing something to your head. You absolutely adored Changbin, but never thought he would feel anything past friendly fondness. He was a nice guy, which meant he was nice to everyone.

"You...you..." he finally managed.

"I?"

"You were sleep-talking," he finally croaked out. His voice was deep and gravelly, as if he had just woken up himself.

"Was I?" you hummed with a smirk. "Any secrets I gave up? I have a few on Han that would be a riot if someone else heard."

"I...think it was a secret," he continued slowly.

Furrowing your brows, a sudden empty feeling started to inhabit your stomach. It didn't seem like this was a joke anymore. Pulling yourself to sit up, you shook your head at Changbin. "What? What was it?"

"You...I..." he started, but chewed on his lip. "You like me?"

"Of course I like you," you whispered, punching his shoulder gently. "You knew that."

"Right," he chuckled nervously. "But this time...uh...could it maybe be more than a friend?"

It seemed like every last drop of saliva had chosen that time to evaporate from your mouth, rendering you speechless. How could you screw up so badly? You were going to completely ruin your dynamic with your best friend all because unconscious you couldn't keep their mouth shut.

"I...I..." you stuttered, looking at him with wide eyes. It soon became increasingly evident that as you continued to find an answer, you did not have one at all.

"You do!" Changbin huffed in disbelief. His lips tilted into his patented crooked smirk.

It took you a moment to clock his expression as you weren't expecting a positive reaction. Did that mean he....?

You didn't have to ask because Changbin was already launching himself at you. With high pitched squeals of delight, he tackled you into bed and wrapped you in his strong arms. Kissing whatever available space he could find on your face, he finally stopped when you placed a hand on his chest. "Bin!"

"Yes?" he grinned, so warm and close to you.

You eased into his body and chuckled. "I'm guessing that means you like me too?"

"Do I like you?" he asked, indignant. "Really? You need it plainly stated?"

"I mean..." you smirked. "It doesn't hurt."

Rolling his eyes, Changbin cleared his throat and pulled you closer. Leveling his stare so he could look into your eyes, he said much more quietly. "Y/N, I like you. Likely more than what is a healthy amount."

You instantly beamed, but that smile was stolen from your lips by a soft kiss. Pulling away, Changbin looked surprised at his self-initiated action. "Was...was that okay?"

You couldn't help but laugh as you reached up to touch his cheek. "How dare you soil my innocence."

"I was caught in the moment and I-" he started to complain loudly, but this was your time to catch him off guard. Holding the back of his neck, you pressed your lips hastily against his. Caught mid sentence, he immediately fell into the kiss and moved to lean over you. You dropped your hand and allowed him to cradle your face instead. He instantly began to deepen the kiss, pushing your head further into the fluffy pillows cushioning you. Sweet and succinct, kissing him was everything you had expected and more. With the press of his lips, you felt so cared for and protected. You would die in this bed if it meant you could lazily kiss him forever. Time didn't exist here, only his face next to yours.

Nipping playfully at your lower lip, you could feel the smile behind his actions. He was wrapped so thoroughly around you that you weren't sure where you stopped and he began. You could feel the heat and tension pulsing through both of you as he moved his hand from your cheek and clutched at your waist instead. His fingers balled into the fabric of your pants, the friction causing a shot of electricity to zip across your body.

You were sure if you continued, you may spontaneously combust. Pulling away slightly, you hummed, "Down, boy."

Breaking into a beautiful smile, he buried his face in your neck, embarrassed by how eager he was. "Sorry," he mumbled into your skin.

"Don't be," you cooed, reaching up to scratch his scalp. "This was...everything."

"Everything?" he perked up, leaning away from you to search your face.

"Mhm," you confirmed. "You, Changbin, are everything."

"I like that," he nodded, his eyebrows pinched in approval. "Everything."

#seo changbin #changbin #skz #stray kids #stray kids changbin #skz changbin #changbin x reader #changbin fluff #changbin fanfic #changbin fic #binnie #skz fluff #skz fanfic #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids fanfic #stray kids romance #changbin romance

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estrellami-1 · 11 months

Text

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 29 | Part 30 | Part 31

Chemistry isn’t any better than Steve remembers it. He shares Algebra with Nancy, though, so they sit together and work through the problems, getting done much faster this time around than he’d remembered doing so the first time.

He catches her looking at him, sometimes, and finally sighs, halfway through a problem. “Look, Nance, I get if this is gonna be weird now. If it would make it easier, we could officially break up. Have a big fight in public where one of us storms off, maybe. If it would help with… with closure, or whatever.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Even if we painted you as the asshole?”

He smiles. “It’s not like most our classmates don’t already know me as such.”

She shrugs. “Even if we said you cheated on me?”

He’s not fast enough to keep his expression from shuttering. “If… if that’s what would help you-”

“Steve,” she says softly. Almost too softly. “When are you gonna stick up for yourself?”

He ducks his head and chuckles. “Still working on that,” he admits. “I’m fine, though, I can take it. So if you need-”

“Steve,” she interrupts. “We can just break up. Just normal. Like how we did. There doesn’t need to be a big fight or anything, we can just say that we realized we aren’t right for each other.” She tilts her head. “Cause it’s true, isn’t it? We’re not right for each other.”

Steve smiles at her. “You’re very driven,” he murmurs. “It’s something that initially drew me to you. But we weren’t ever gonna make it. I was talking with someone last night, about being compatible. And we just… aren’t, really. I’m not nearly as motivated as you, and I need someone more laid back. You need someone who’s gonna do what he can to help you reach your full potential.”

“And that wouldn’t have been you?”

Steve hums. “I think I would’ve tried my best,” he says. “But I’m still living under my father’s shadow, and the most he’d want you to be is a housewife.” She makes a face, and he laughs. “Exactly. I think maybe if we’d met later, after I’d realized I don’t owe him anything, maybe things would be different. But as it is… I’m being haunted by things that haven’t even happened yet. And won’t, now, because of what we’re trying to do. But that’s not fair to you.”

“And what I did to you wasn’t fair to you,” she says softly. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry.”

He stares at her for a moment, then looks abruptly down at his paper. “So, for number six, I’m still not understanding the polynomials.” He catches her sympathetic smile as she ducks her head to look at where he’s pointing.

“Okay, this is easy,” she says, and it feels like closure.

Still, he drags Robin into an empty classroom later. “Oh boy,” she says. “That’s a Nancy look. What did she do? Do I need to stop being friendly towards her?”

“No, Robs,” he chuckles, pulling her into a hug. “Just… it’s been a day, okay?”

“You can say that again,” she agrees, and wraps him in a hug tight enough he squeaks.

“It was good,” he finally manages. “We talked, during Algebra. Um. She apologized.”

“Oh, Steve,” Robin murmurs, and hugs him even tighter.

He buries his face in her hair. “Love you, Robbie.”

“Love you, dingus,” she murmurs. “Always.”

They stand like that for a few minutes, until the next bell rings and Steve pulls back with an apologetic smile. “Don’t wanna make us late.”

“Screw school,” Robin replies immediately, the way Steve knew she would. “I’m here for you.”

He grins sheepishly at her. “Next class is gym,” he says. “With Eddie. And all the guys I used to be friends with.”

Robin nods knowingly. “And you started burning those bridges with Tommy today,” she adds. “Yeah, okay. Go get your man.”

Steve chuckles and squeezes her one last time. “What class do you have?”

“Art.”

“Ooh,” he teases, because he knows she shares that class with Tammy.

“Fuck off,” she mutters, rolling her eyes and shoving him away.

He just gets right back into her space. She lets him. “Never,” he grins.

She fights down a smile as she pushes past him. “I thought you had gym?”

“Oh, fuck,” he says, and rushes to the lockers.

He can hear her laughter following him all the way.

Because his life must hate him, the gym teacher chooses dodgeball as the activity of the day.

Steve’s good at dodgeball, but he’s never been on the team opposite his friends. He’d always been the captain, and he’d always picked them for a reason: they’re good at the game.

But now it seems like the whole school is aware of his and Tommy’s parting, and they’ve all unanimously decided to side with Tommy.

Not that Steve cares about any of that at all. He’d just like to get through this class without a concussion.

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#stranger things #if I should stay #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #platonic stobin #nancy wheeler #past stancy #fix it fic #time travel #time travel fx it fic #starambles

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yikesharringrove · 9 months

Note

steve being absolutely whipped for steve is my favorite thing ever. like ok what if they were friends and billy likes steve, and steve's oblivious to it but billy will drop whatever he's doing to make steve's like a the tiniest bit easier and it's so cute

It all starts with homework.

Homework Steve dropped on the floor in the hallway, to be more specific.

He fucking tripped and his shit went everywhere, and he was scrambling to pick it all up, when he noticed another pair of hands shuffling with his papers.

“Thanks, Hargrove,” he muttered.

“Most of these are wrong.” Steve snatched the math worksheet out of his hands, his face hot as he stuffed it in his backpack.

He tried to push past the absolutely solid wall that was Billy Hargrove, but the other boy kept blocking him.

“C’mon, I’ll help you.”

“I don’t need any help.”

It was a fucking lie. He knew he’d gotten most of the problems wrong. They were working on some weird formula that had to do with area, or volume, or something like that. And Steve really didn’t understand it.

But he didn’t want any help from fucking Hargrove, who would just spread it around the school that Steve Harrington is in remedial geometry as a senior.

But Hargrove had reached into Steve's backpack, and yanked out the assignment, using the pencil he had stored behind his ear to erase Steve’s shitty work.

“All you have to do is multiply the length by the width by the height. And that’s volume.”

Steve had added those three values and then cubed them. It had taken him hours.

“I know.”

Billy gave him a scathing look.

“Meet me in the library at lunch, and we’ll fix it.”

Steve wasn’t actually expecting Billy to be there, but he was. And they fixed Steve’s math.

And he got an A on the homework, his first one all year.

So it became a thing. They’d do Steve’s math homework at lunch together. And Billy would walk him through the tough problems, and clap him on the back when he got something by himself.

His teacher noticed his progress, and congratulated him on it.

“I got a tutor,” he told her.

They were studying on some random Thursday together, Billy with his nose in some worn-out novel, periodically peeking over the pages to take a look at Steve's math homework.

He was doing much better, and now Billy only had to silently point to an incorrect answer for Steve to go back and fix it.

Steve's stomach rumbled, breaking the silence,

"Jesus, Harrington. I think your stomach is trying to eat itself."

Steve rolled his eyes, but he smiled at Billy.

"Seriously, just eat lunch."

There technically was a rule against food in the library, but the librarian liked Billy, and tended to turn a blind eye to whatever he was doing at his usual back table.

Steve checked his watch.

"I'll just grab something later. I need to finish this."

He kept working on his math. His stomach growled again.

Billy sighed.

He dug into his bag, pulling out the crumpled brown paper bag Susan has passed him in the morning. She always made him lunch after a rough night with his dad.

Consolation prize, he guesses.

He pulled out the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, placing one half on Steve's open textbook.

Steve looked at him with round eyes.

"Nah dude, that's your lunch. I can get something after school."

"Like hell. Just eat the sandwich, Harrington."

Steve scarfed the first half like a small animal, and Billy glared at him until he had the second half.

He'll be okay, he can just sneak some food at home before his dad gets back from work.

"Harrington! How many times," Coach yelled from the sidelines. "You're leaving yourself too open!"

Steve was breathing hard, sprinting down the court after being bowled over by one of the guys on the other team.

It was deafening in the gym, the stands packed full.

Steve was playing like shit. The other team was dogging him, stealing the ball from him, blocking his every move.

He was point guard to Billy's shooting guard.

Billy yanked him by the back of the jersey, pulling him back to mutter in his ear.

Steve nodded once.

It was a good play, a simple pick and roll.

The other team scored, and Billy nodded at Steve.

They brought it down the court, and Billy made eye contact with Steve as he moved to set a pick on the asshole guard that kept knocking Steve down.

Steve moved, sprinting to the basket to finally make a fucking shot.

As he moved, the guard followed, but there was Billy.

They collided hard, and Billy got knocked flat on his ass.

His head cracked against the wooden floor, and he saw stars for a second.

He was fucking pleased as punch to see the other guard flat on his back, too. Looking as dazed as Billy felt.

There was a hand in front of his face, and he took it, allowing Steve to bring him to his feet, a look of concern in his big eyes.

"You okay, dude?"

"You score?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'm fine." He clapped Steve on the shoulder, jogging back to get in the game, shaking off the dizzy spell.

Billy paid no mind to the phone ringing.

He was sat at the kitchen table, finishing up his chemistry homework.

Sometimes he and Max did homework at the kitchen table together. Neil would give approving looks when he walked by if he saw Billy helping her with something she pretended not to understand.

"Hargrove residence." Neil was the only one who answered the phone that way. The rest of them said Hargrove-Mayfield.

Billy tightened his grip on his pencil.

He could feel his dad's eyes on the back of his head, standing straight against the wall where the phone was mounted.

"Yes, he is here."

Fuck.

What could Billy have done now? He's been a model fucking citizen for the past week.

And no one can trace that fucking fire under the bleachers back to him. Besides, he put it out before anything could really get burned.

"Billy, the phone's for you."

At least if he was in trouble, the person wouldn't be asking to speak with him.

Billy stood up, ignoring Max's questioning look.

Billy took the phone, not making eye contact with his dad.

"Hey! Sorry, I know this is weird, but I got your phone number from Max a little while ago, and I know usually we just study during school, but I am so fucking confused on this assignment. And I'll pay you! I'll even order food if you want to come over to help me. Oh! This is Steve by the way."

As if Billy wouldn't recognize his rambling.

"Um, sure. I can help you." He looked at his dad. "And no need to pay me."

"Just try to get out of here without any money. I dare you. So, can you come over? Tonight? This is due tomorrow."

Billy wasn't supposed to leave on school nights.

"Can you give me a second? Please?" He didn't wait for Steve to respond, he just lowered the phone.

"Dad," he started.

"How long have you been tutoring that Harrington boy?" Neil's voice was unreadable.

"A few weeks. Mostly at school. He needs some help tonight, and uh, offered to pay me if I come by his place."

"And you said you didn't want to be paid?"

"Yes, sir."

Billy tried his very best not to flinch when his dad patted him on the shoulder.

"That's good. Rubbing elbows with the Harrigntons. I was wondering why they didn't press charges when you beat that boy to a pulp."

Billy fucking hated when Neil brought that shit up.

It wasn't his fault he has a hard time controlling his rage. If anything, it's Neil's fault for slapping him around before sending him on an errand.

Steve just happened to kinda get in the way.

But Billy apologized, and Steve said he got over it, and clearly he did, if he's inviting Billy over to his house to work on his homework.

He raised the phone back up to his ear.

"Sure, I can help you. But I can't be out late. It's a school night."

Neil nodded approvingly, and Billy flipped him the bird the second he turned his back.

"Yeah, whatever. The front door's unlocked, just come upstairs when you're here."

Steve didn't even wait for a reply before he ended the call, and Billy quietly placed the phone back on the receiver.

He cleaned up his own homework, and took his bag with him.

"Billy," his dad said as he was halfway out the back door. "Curfew's at 8:30. And I'll be locking the door."

"Yes, sir."

Harrington's house is fuckin' huge.

Billy should've expected it, with Steve's family being as well connected as they were.

He let himself into the house, as Steve had told him to do, and was immediately met with a slight woman, staring at him like he'd just walked uninvited into her home.

"Uh," he said. Why the fuck would Steve tell him to just come in? "I'm Billy? Billy Hargrove. Steve's tutor."

And then her face brightened, and holy shit, Steve looks exactly like his mom.

"He is upstairs, I'll show you." She waved him to follow behind her and she took off up the stairs.

Billy scrambled to kick his boots off and raced after her.

She was lean like Steve, with long legs and insanely thick,dark brown hair that went clear down to her ass.

(Steve even kinda has his mom's perfect ass.)

She knocked on the door to Steve's room, even though it was slightly ajar, and let herself in.

Steve was sitting at his desk, his head in his hands, all curled up and sitting cross-legged on his chair.

"Tesoro, il tuo amico è qui."

Steve turned, and he fucking beamed at Billy.

"Grazie, Mamma." He waved Billy over in the same motion his mother had done downstairs.

Billy felt awkward in the room, and his face felt hot, and his palms were sweaty.

"Avete bisogno di qualcosa?" She asked, and holy shit, how has it taken Billy this long to realize that Steve and his mother were not even speaking fucking English to one another.

He knew he was staring.

"No, grazie."

She smiled again at Billy as she left the room, quietly closing the door behind her.

"Damn, your mom's hot," was all Billy could think to say.

Luckily, it worked. Steve rolled his eyes, turning back to his work and shaking his head. But Billy could see a tiny smile on his face.

"Yeah, yeah. Don't start that shit and just help me with this, okay?"

Billy peered over his shoulder.

Steve was working on an English assignment, the same one Billy had completed last week.

It was a questionnaire about the Shakespeare play they had read in class, Othello.

Billy knew it was grueling, fifty multiple choice, ten matching, and three essay questions.

He had the book open text to him, and there had been lines and passages highlighted and annotated.

"This shit was nasty. I did it last week."

Steve scrunched his brows up at Billy.

"You're in English 12? How? You're a junior?"

Billy shrugged.

"That's just what I tested into when I moved here. I was on a fast track in California." Yeah, he would've probably gotten to graduate a semester early, if they had stayed.

"Okay, well, then you can help me. Because I can barely read as it is, and this stupid Shakespeare stuff just doesn't even make sense."

He put his head down on his desk, leaning his forehead against the questionnaire and groaning loudly.

"It's like another language. You have to learn to translate it. I mean, you and your mom were speakin' something, so you know how to do this."

"Yeah, and that's kinda the problem." Steve sat up, looking at Billy. Billy moved to sit on the corner of his desk. "My mom's from Italy, and I didn't even speak English until I was like, six. Regular English has never made sense to me, and then they give us this shit." He flipped the book closed harshly.

Billy had to bite his tongue, because the only thing he could think to say was you sure do talk a lot for someone who allegedly doesn't understand English. But he didn't really wanna be a dick right now.

"Okay. Here's what will do. We'll answer as many questions as you can. Once we get to the ones about specific passages, I'll read them in plain terms, and you'll be fine, okay?"

Steve nodded glumly, but he picked up his pencil.

"Okay, dude. You can definitely answer this first question."

Question one: Who wrote Othello.

Steve circled the correct answer and Billy pat him on the head. Steve glared at him playfully.

They went through the questions.

Some were easy, and clearly all Steve needed was a cheerleader, because he circled the correct ones right away.

But then, some were fucking difficult.

"Okay, question 36: What is the significance of Othello's handkerchief?"

Steve flipped through the book desperately.

"What fucking handkerchief?"

It was a little past eight, and Steve was just barely halfway through the packet.

He was clearly trying not to get frustrated, as he came across harder and harder questions, understanding less and less.

"So, in the passage, Iago is basically trying to turn Othello against Desdemona. He's saying that if she deceived her father, she would deceive Othello."

"But, I don't get why she lied to her dad. Like, what was the lie?"

"He didn't want her to get married to Othello, but she did anyway."

Steve just looked desperately at Billy.

"So, she did cheat on Othello? And Iago is telling him about it?"

"No, she didn't Iago is trying to fuck with Othello."

"Wait, so Desdemona did nothing wrong, and then Othello still kills her?" He looked incredulous.

"Yeah, man. It's Shakespeare. In the tragedies, everyone dies. In the comedies, everyone fucks."

"Why?"

"Because it was Elizabethan England, and everyone was fucking and dying, and half of these stories are based on the Greek plays that came before, in which everyone just fucked and died."

"I wish my life was like that. I just wanna fuck. And then die." Steve put his pencil down, leaning back in his chair. "I'm sorry, man. That I dragged you here to help me with this. I'm just fucking dumb."

Billy smacked Steve in the back of the head, and he yelped, glaring at Billy and rubbing the spot where Billy had merely tapped him.

"You're not stupid. This is hard. Now, let's keep going. This isn't gonna finish itself."

Billy ended up finally leaving Steve's close to ten.

His mom thanked him for helping Steve, and shoved a wad of cash in his hand that Billy felt too awkward to count until he had parked in his spot behind his house.

Jesus Christ, she gave him fifty bucks.

He put it with the rest of his stash, in the locked glove compartment, and wiggled into the back seat.

He doesn't doubt that his dad had locked the house promptly at curfew. He doesn't doubt that he was gonna get his shit rocked tomorrow after school when he showed up back at home.

But Steve had finished his assignment, and had flung his arms around Billy when it was finally over, and it's okay. Billy can take a few smacks.

"Hey!"

Billy turned to see Steve rushing towards him down the hall. His cheeks were pink and he was beaming.

He thrust the assignment from last night into Billy's hands, and there was a big red A- on the top.

"That's my best English grade, like, ever. Thank you! Seriously, Billy. Thank you so much. I'm taking you out for dinner this weekend, okay? To say thank you. I'll buy you a burger and a milkshake, and anything you want."

"Nah, man. Your mom paid me last night, it's okay."

Steve shook his head, his hair flopping onto his forehead, and he pushed it back, still grinning. Fuck, he's so pretty.

"Can it. We're going to the dinner and you're gonna eat fries until you puke, okay? We're going Friday."

Friday.

Billy's supposed to help Susan trim all the hedges on Friday.

Okay, if he wakes up early, he can do the front before school, and if he comes home during his free period, he could-

"Sure, Pretty Boy. Friday."

He was up before the sun, cutting hedges.

He had to shower before school, which he fucking hates doing, because he doesn't have enough time to properly do his hair in the mornings.

But he finished them.

He finished them all.

And he told Susan such when she handed him his pity packed lunch that morning.

She thanked him, and his dad narrowed his eyes.

"Why?" He barked.

Billy tried to act casual.

"Couldn't sleep, thought I'd just get it out of the way."

Neil didn't stop staring suspiciously at Billy until he and Max had closed the backdoor behind them.

"Why did you really do all that this morning?" Max asked when they were safe in the car.

"Jus' have plans after school."

She rolled her eyes.

"Oh, that's rich. You're going on a date."

Well, he hopes so.

But that's never gonna happen.

The school day seemed to pass as slowly as fucking possible. He was anxious all day, fidgety and nervous, and a tiny bit sweaty.

Steve was leaning against his car outside when Billy finally stomped away from the school, and he smiled brightly at Billy.

"Should we just meet at the diner?"

"Yeah. I gotta drive Max, so." He gestured lamely.

"Okay. See you in a bit." Steve tapped the hood of the Camaro, and normally Billy would've threatened to bite anyone that knocked into his car like that, but Steve can kinda do whatever he wants as far as Billy is concerned.

Billy made sure to idle in front of the house, making sure Max got inside alright, and making sure his dad watched him drop her off.

He'd be in worse shit if Neil thought Billy made Max walk home by herself.

But he sped back into town the second the screen door slammed closed behind her.

Steve already had a booth when Billy arrived, and he waved Billy down enthusiastically, as if Billy didn't hone in on him the second he walked through the door.

"Hey, man! Glad you could make it," he said, as if he didn't insist that Billy make it.

Billy grunted at him, shuffling into the booth on the other side of Steve.

"Thanks again, dude. My grades have never been so good. My dad even said I've been doing alright, which is, I think, the nicest thing he's ever said to me."

"Yeah. It's no problem."

"Why don't people know you're smart?" Steve's question took Billy off guard a little bit. "You act like you're a dumb jock, like me."

"You're not dumb. And it's just self-preservation, I guess. I don't need every pretty boy in this school to know I'm a good tutor. Already got my hands full."

Steve's cheeks went the faintest bit pink, and if Billy didn't know better, he'd say that Steve's casual shifting of position was more like a little squirm.

"I guess that makes sense," Steve mumbled, picking at the edge of the menu in front of him.

Their waiter came at that moment, and Steve ordered right away, rattling off what he wanted like it was second nature.

"So the usual, then?" The waiter winked at Steve, and Steve flushed a little deeper, looking shyly at Billy.

"I'll have the same." The waiter nodded, and swept off with their menus.

"So, you're here a lot?" Billy didn't want to look too far into it, but he was ravenous for little scraps of information about Steve. A little peek into his life.

"Yeah. I come here for dinner when I'm home alone a lot. Cooking for one person is kinda lame, and I like being somewhere that's not so. Quiet."

"How often you home alone?"

"Every few weeks. My mom travels around with my dad a lot, but she feels bad about leaving me on my own. Doesn't really stop her, thought." And Steve looked positively glum, like a pouty little cat caught outside in the rain.

"Well, next time you're alone let me know. I don't have too much going on. Usually."

Steve brightened, looking at Billy with a tiny mile on his face.

"Yeah? You don't have better friends then some dumbass you tutor?"

"I don't tutor a dumbass. And in case you hadn't noticed, I don't have many friends. Only been in town for a few months."

"I've been here my whole life, and I don't have many friends, either."

"That's their problem, then."

Steve beamed at him.

#Billy just absolutely getting his bell rung but being like 'its ok bc steve scored 🥺' is my love language #I've been working on this for such a long time and idk how to end it so it's jsut kinda......open #yikes writes #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove #i haven't written anything in a million years

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isackwhy · 5 months

Text

isaacwhy x bff! fem! reader

summary: you and isaac have been best friends since 2021 in the early discord days. you both got your content popular together and you stayed close friends with him and the rest of the boys. your feelings for him have only grown no matter how much you ignore it, no matter who you date—your best friend always remains in the back of your mind. but, isaac—there’s no way he’d like you. no way in hell. so you do what you have to do. separate yourself from him and after a few days of you not texting, isaac finally breaks as you stand in his kitchen without saying a word to him

mentions of the reader being chubby and insecure (slightly self indulgent whoops bc a bitch going thru a breakup and insecurities)

set in the second house :)

it was early december. isaac has been preparing for last to leave vc and normally you’d be helping like every year except this one.

4 days since you last talked to isaac, someone you’ve been talking to everyday for the last three years. you convinced yourself this was for the best. isaac is out of your league. he’s got a million girls way better than you to get with. he’s a gym rat, funny, smart—no, no. enough.

you emerge from larry’s room after editing him set up a stream for later and waltz down to the kitchen. praying and hoping to dodge isaac like you have been.

you open the fridge like you live there—you practically do anyway—and grab a water bottle. as you close the fridge you yelp at the sudden sight of isaac in the archway. you clench your jaw, breaking the brief eye contact.

“you’re serious, huh?” isaac scoffs, leaning into the doorway. you look up at him. his once soft brown eyes are filled with concern and annoyance. “what?” you quirk back, “i‘m helping larry. excuse me—“

“nah, nah. you don’t get to ignore me and not tell me why when i’m standing right in front of you,” isaac blocks your way. you try and side step him but he’s quicker, arms now crossed. “isaac, i have shit to do,” you curse, trying your best to glare despite the guilt building in your chest. “y/n, why are you pushing me away? you’re doin’ the very thing you hate from other people. ghosting me without explanation. if you’re mad. say why you’re mad,” isaac speaks loudly but he isn’t yelling. you can tell he’s frustrated and trying his best to contain himself.

“i’m not mad—but you’ll make me mad if you don’t move,” you try and move around him again but he blocks your way, “isaac!” you call out with pure frustration.

“you’re acting like a child, y/n!”

“there is nothing wrong!”

“then fucking talk to me!” he retorts back loudly.

your eyes snap wide. he’s never yelled at you in a serious matter but you can’t blame him. if you were in his shoes, the whole group home would’ve been blown to pieces finding answers already. but—just like your best friend. you’re hot headed. if an argument drives him away, that’s how you have to do it. make it easier for everyone.

you glare up at him, “fuck this—“ you push him out of the way, headed towards the stairs but he’s close behind. “you were fine a week ago. a week ago you were sitting in my room helping me come up with fuckin’ challenges for last to leave! last week—jesus, you were fine last week, y!n!” he speaks, following you up the stairs.

normally, you’d admire his stubbornness but jesus christ, is it getting on your nerves currently.

“maybe it’s the mental illness. i don’t know, isaac. shit happens!” you yell back, now at the top of the stairs. “shit happens? three years of you being my best friend and ‘shit happens’?” isaac quotes in the air, “you’re helpin’ larry. not me. what did i do?”

“i can help larry and there not be an issue, isaac,” you retort back quickly, now facing the man. isaac runs an annoyed hand over his face. “there clearly is one when you haven’t replied back to me and days and haven’t even spoken to me or banged on my door incessantly,” he stands with his hands on his hips.

you copy his stance, “once again. shit happens.”

“and that’s bullshit. you’re pushing away. why? i have no idea but y’know what?” isaac’s voice turns to a whisper, “it hurts. it does, y/n and i’m sick of it. you are one of my best friends. you’re so big on communication yet, here you are! not communicating!” isaac is getting animated. his hands flying through the air the more angry he gets. “there is nothing to communicate. i’ve been busy. i showed up today to help larry,” you try and calmly lie through your teeth.

isaac takes a deep breath, “oh my fucking—“ he curses under his breath, “you’re avoiding talking about avoiding me. like, you realize how ridiculous this is getting, right?”

“you’re the one making it ridiculous,” you sass back.

“we are best friends—“

“let me go already!” you break as you shout. the guilt is crushing you. you want to get this over with. isaac is an amazing person. one of the best and doing this, losing him, it pains you to do this. you’ve lost so many people but this crush will only get worse. that’s not fair to him, not when it won’t be reciprocated.

isaac’s face forms into one of confusion, gaze slightly softening, “what? let you go?”

you gulp as a lump of tears dares to break you. you take a shaky breath and isaac’s concern grows, anger fading as he watches your shallow breaths. “let me go. i am too much. i ask for too much. i’m too clingy. i’m annoying. i ask to hang out too much,” you list off the insecurities, speaking your thoughts out loud. thoughts you know isaac shares.

his brows furrow. he steps closer to you and you don’t move, staring at how hard you’re trying not to cry. “what the hell are you talking about? you’re none of those,” isaac speaks softly. you sniffle, “oh, come on. stop. just stop,” you say, looking anywhere but him but his 6’4 self takes up half the view anyway.

isaac inhales sharply, hands falling to his sides, “why only me though? that’s what i don’t understand. why are you avoiding me? you’re not anything of those things, y/n. have i been teasing you too much?” he chuckles, trying to lighten the air but you’re still fighting back tears.

the confession rests on your tongue. commit to it. confessing your feelings will surely ruin what’s left of the friendship.

“what did i do to make you feel this way? like, genuinely. tell me so i won’t do it again,” isaac sighs, begging for you to just look him in the eyes. you don’t respond, looking at the floor as tears begin to blur your vision.

“y/n,” isaac speaks with frustration in his tone, “why—“

“because i love you! god fucking—“ you cut yourself off as you realize it slipped. the house is spinning. you definitely can’t look him in the eyes now.

“huh?” isaac squeaks out, just now processing the words, “because you love me?” does he need it spelled out?

you groan, holding your head in your hands. “if you love me, then are you acting like this?” isaac cluelessly questions.

“fucking—i’m in love with you, isaac!” you confess even more, eyes bouncing from his fan made bracelet to the singular silver band around his middle finger. now, the world goes fully slightly. you can hear isaac’s breathing on top of your own.

“well, shit,” isaac scoffs. almost sounding relieved. “that’s it?” he chuckles. your knit your eyebrows together, looking him in the eyes. now you’re confused.

“huh?” now it’s your turn to say.

isaac laughs, resting his hands on your shoulders as he rubs circles into your skin. “i love you, too. like, in love with you,” isaac says quietly, smiling down at you.

you pull your head back in astonishment, “you do—“

but you’re cut off by isaac connecting your lips, bending down to your head to make it easier for you. after a moment, you kiss back, feeling like you’re in a dream about to shake into a nightmare.

he pulls away, “communication, aye? i mean, maybe if i wasn’t so scared—i would’ve said something sooner.”

“you were scared?” you giggle. isaac holds your face, laughing, “oh, god, yeah. terrified. should’ve heard the shit the boys have had to endure.”

“yeah, they probably heard the same on my end,” you melt into his touch. isaac tilts his head to the side, “why were you so scared? i thought i was being obvious.”

“i thought you were being nice,” you shake your head in disbelief. isaac does the same, bringing into a much needed hug that just pieces you together. “i didn’t think you’d like someone like me. i look like peter griffin when i smile,” you joke at your own expense. “oh, you’re fucking silly. you’re silly in the head,” he ruffles your hair before resting a kiss on the top of your head, “i like your curves, doofus. i like your body. and you do not look like peter griffin.”

you both laugh in each others arms, basking in the other’s touch.

“finally. jesus!” larry yells from his doorway as he looks at you both, “i was tired of hearing all this shit!”

#isaacwhy x reader #isaacwhy #tgc x reader #the group chat podcast x reader #the group x reader #the group chat podcast #the group chat

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shxyss1n1st3rr3ads · 1 year

Text

red light-woosan

pairing- dancer! woosan x chubby POC ! reader summary: You go out to a club with your friends and find yourself in a 0-100 situation.

Walking into any club can make you extremely nervous. But this one for some reason, made my stomach do weird things. As I walked in, trailing behind my friend Livia, I started to notice the red lights coming from down the hall, in the direction we were going. As we entered the main area, I quickly looked around liking to know what my surroundings always looked like. As I look around more and more, I start to notice some of the men are dressed alike. They were all dressed in ripped loose pants and no shirt. The red lights around made their bodies look Godly.

No wonder Livia chose this one.

“Aren’t they so hot?!” Livia yells next to you. I pull my eyes away from the beautiful men and looked at her nodding. I don’t say anything because this whole situation makes me so nervous, and I didn’t want to sound stupid. I continue to look trying to find a safe spot I can go so I don’t feel in the way of the entrance.

Livia had mentioned that this club had a no foreigner rule, so everyone that walked past me took a long look. And I mean they didn’t even try to hide the fact that they were staring. But being in Korea as a thicker POC, it’s expected.

We walk further inside, and I notice that all the men are dancing with pretty girls in pretty dresses.

“They are the dancers here! They are supposed to just walk up to anyone and ask them to dance.” Livia yells over the music. That’s actually a good idea since a lot of the clubs have people just standing around. But I also couldn’t imagine dancing for hours on end.

I couldn’t help but to notice how all the guys were dancing with smaller and pretty women. I’m not insecure, but things like that makes me a little sad because there’s no chance any of them are willing to dance with me. I’m bigger and not Korean. I don’t feed into my insecurities though. If they don’t want to dance with me then its their loss, not mine.

I head to the bar as my friend heads to the dance floor wanting to dance right away. She fits perfectly in with the crowds. A daunting thought in the back of my mind makes me think that I would take up most of the space so why even attempt to go down there. I’ll probably be the only one not dancing with someone. But that’s the thing, I don’t need anyone to have fun and I knew Livia had my back and would drop any guy to help me out, she’s done it before. There were also times where I had to push her back because I didn’t want her dropping everything when I’m a little down.

I ordered the strongest drink and continued to look around. There are regular lights here at the bar. The red lights are mainly on the dance floor, so it was much easier to see around me. As I look around, I notice so many pretty women, and I stare in awe. The men were also drop dead gorgeous.

I’ve gotten used to being the bigger girl here. For the first 6 months of living here. It did hurt a bit when everyone seemed to go after Livia more. But she fit the beauty standard, especially since she is half Korean herself. I’m black and white. A thick girl, standing at (height) and (weight). I wore it well, at least I thought I did until I got here.

After about a year here, I was used to how they treated me. Concluded that I’m not here for love, I’m here to experience Korea itself, and to enjoy myself. I started to go to the gym more as well, makes me feel better overall.

I sipped on my drink when I got it, enjoying the sight of Livia dancing with all types of people. I laugh when she pushes another dancer for one of the shirtless guys.

On the far side of the room, the floor rises a bit and there was a metal fence along it, allowing people to lean over and watch the dancers. I couldn’t help but notice two shirtless guys leaning against each other and staring in my direction.

My heart starts to beat fast, there’s no way they are looking at me. I look around and see other girls standing next to me at the bar, either ordering a drink or trying to get their man to get them one. I sigh finishing my drink, I turn around and order another one. I start to wonder when I would get the balls to stand up and go dance with Livia.

I peek over at the two guys again. They are now leaning over the railing. Its like they noticed me looking there way again because at the same time they both look up in my direction. My eyes widen and I quickly turn back around as if I got caught doing something that I wasn’t supposed to be doing.

Dammit, I think to myself. Now they know I was looking there way. Fuck it, I peek again. I could hardly tell them apart other than one being slightly taller than the other and the body was built slightly different. The red lights are not helping. They both look like they have black hair, brushed back with some strands in front of their faces. One runs his hand up into his hair, pushing some back.

The taller one looks over to the person who walked up to him and talks to them. I noticed he had a half up and half down style. He then gets pulled away. I quickly look away when the bartender slams the drink down next to me and moves on to the next order. I grabbed it and held the straw against the ice so I could drink it all at once. I set the cup down and look back over seeing neither of the men. Damn, they were a nice sight to see.

I looked back down to look for Livia, but I couldn’t see her due to there being so many people. But I did peep at her white dress amongst the crowd, allowing me to calm down a bit. I don’t want to be left here alone.

I think that I want to just chill here at the bar until Livia is ready to go. Maybe another night I will feel more comfortable. I order another shot wanting to get a little more wasted.

See, I don’t mind being a bigger girl. In fact, I love my body. But other people’s eyes and thoughts on my body practically shove me back into the insecure locker I was trying to desperately get out of my whole life.

Like I thought, the shot made me feel great. I spun around in my seat to maybe get a look for Livia again and maybe join her, but someone was blocking my view. It was a shirtless guy, and he kind of looked like the one you were looking at earlier across the room. His hands were tucked in his front pockets, he slowly tilts his head while keeping eye contact with you. I suddenly get really confused and look around and even behind me (Even though there was only a bartender behind me and helping someone else.) He slowly walks up and stands in front of me. His thighs hit my knees as I sat in the bar stool. I couldn't help but to think that if I opened my legs a little, he could fit right between.

Oh! Maybe he wanted a drink. I slowly try and move around him, but his eyes never leave me.

“Sorry, Ill get out of your way…” I mumbled, hoping that he would get the hint and move back a little so I could leave without bumping into him accidentally. But his hand reaches out and stops me. I pause and look down at his huge pale hand caressing my arm.

“You’re not in my way.” He leans in and whispers in my ear. Maybe he said it normally, the club is loud, and I can’t really hear anything over the sound of my rapidly beating heart. Little did you know, you were making his heartbeat extremely fast too. He doesn’t drink, and this is his job, meaning he rarely gets nervous. He’s confident in himself.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” He asks me with a little smile. I just shrug my shoulders, not really knowing how to answer him. He grabs both of your hands in his and he rubs his thumbs across the top. I can’t help but stare at our hands together. He slowly brings one of my hands up and my eyes follow. He slowly leaves a kiss on top of my fingers smiling at the fact that our eyes are now connected. His lips leave a warm touch, making my heartbeat faster.

“A pretty girl like you must be waiting for someone to ask her, mhm?” He says smoothly. I really had a hard time saying anything. His eyes were so sharp, his skin so smooth. His gaze hurts, so I quickly look away.

He suddenly brings both of my hands up and lays them flat against his chest. One hand feels the pounding of his heart and the other one feels the warmth of his chest. His heart starts beating faster as his hands push my hands down, to trail against the hard muscles on his torso. I couldn’t help myself but bend my fingers at the tips and allow my nails to scratch him along the way. Making him flinch and lean into me. I squeeze my thighs at his reaction.

“Fuck,” He whimpers in my ear. Now my heart is beating out of my chest. I feel his breathing calm down a bit. “Dance with me. Please dance with me. I want-no. I need to feel you against me while we dance.” He pleads in my ear. Two thoughts come up. In America there is these people called fat fuckers or chubby chasers. Who simply wants you because you’re a BBW. Now I may be thick but I’m not extremely fat. But to Koreans, shit I could be. But the second thought is saying fuck it. This god of a man is standing in front of you, leaning into you. Take the fucking dance. So, I nod my head and take his hand as he pulls me in for a dance.

We make it to the dance floor and get swallowed into it, now it feels like I’m in the middle of it. I’m not too sure what to do now that I’m under the watch of this beautiful shirtless man. The song ‘Stay Ready’ by Jhene Aiko comes on, and it makes you smile. A good song I can just vibe too.

I’m not too sure how to impress people, I like to be myself and hope that does the job. The alcohol that I drank earlier is running through my system. I look over at the male in front of me and he smiles softly at me and backs up a bit giving me room to do my thing. He starts sways to the music.

I bring my hands around and move my body to the beat of the song. Swaying to the rhythm, my hands follow the curves of my body. I close my eyes to feel the music through the floor. My butt is moving a little more, my neck moving my head in slow circles. I lean my head back and run my hand around my neck really feeling myself. They lead into my hair, my full body now enjoying the song. I open my eyes and look at the man. He stopped moving and his eyes seemed darker than before. The red light of the club is not helping any. He bites his lower lip and grabs my hand spinning me around. I instantly bend over and grind my ass against him. I can’t help but smile and I feel both of his hands suddenly grab ahold of me and he pushes into me harder. I lean up and his hands take the chance to feel me up even more. I pushed myself away from him and continued dancing in front of him, knowing that he was extremely turned on because I felt the same exact way.

Kendricks part just ended and that’s when I feel hands on my waist. They pull me into a hard body. My eyes pop back open to see the guy lean into my ear and whisper. “God, you’re so fucking hot.” I could feel his hard on as we danced against each other. Our eyes never leave each other’s. Noses bumping against each other’s, lips almost touching.

As the transition of the song comes on and suddenly another set of hands grabs ahold of me and pulls me away from the body I was against. I spun around and then held onto. I look up at a man that was slightly taller and notice him from earlier. His hands trailing from my hips and going up.

“Hi gorgeous.” He mumbles against my skin as he leaves open mouth kisses against my skin. That’s when I realized that maybe they were really looking at me before!

“Hi…” I let out breathlessly. One of his hands lowers itself and lets my hips sway to the song. I soon feel the other guy come back and close me into a shirtless man sandwich.

The next song is ‘Get You’ By Daniel Caesar and Kali Uchis. I thought we were done dancing, but they kept their hold on me. The taller one with the bun holds on to my lower waist and his head leans against mine, our ears almost touching. While the lower one tucks his arms around my waist, just below my breasts and leans his head against my back. Our body moves slowly and in sync to the song. The male behind me, his hands keep moving everywhere and squeezing. He thrusts into my ass every now and then.

The taller one keeps leaving random kisses on my forehead and cheeks and neck. Everywhere he can reach but my lips. It makes me think that maybe they do this with chosen girls, and maybe lips are off limits. They certainly know how to make a girl feel special. The taller one continues to softly sing into my ear as we sway.

The music becomes foggy as I get deeper in my thoughts.

The shorter man, (He is still much taller than me. Two inches maybe?) He lets go and moves letting the cooler air hit my back. I’m already missing his body heat. I thought he was just going to leave but he walked around and stand next to the guy in front of me. He pries one of his hands off me and he join in wrapping both of his hands around me and the other guy. Now that I’m seeing both guys in front of me and side by side. Red light or not, I couldn’t deny how fucking gorgeous they are.

“I’m sorry, I might get fired for this, but I can’t help myself.” The shorter one says and brings the arm that was wrapped around the other guy up and grabs the back of my neck and brings his face to mine. His lips crush mine. I feel him groan against me and they both squeeze me in closer. At this point he was in the middle now and the taller man was blocking anyone from really seeing.

“San…” The taller one says in a warning voice. I went to break away, but he kept me in place. He leaves a couple more kisses on my lips.

I’m honestly in shock. This is such an out of body experience. I lose any words that come to mind.

“We have to go now but I hope to see you again.” The taller one says and leans in and leaves a slow and long kiss on my cheek and gives my ass another small squeeze. “San importunely cut our time here with you short.” He glares at the shorter one. You realized why he was kissing everywhere else so much.

“I’m Wooyoung by the way.” He smiles and drags San away.

#choi san #jung wooyoung #ateez #san x reader #wooyoung x reader #ateez x reader #woosan x reader #woosan #angst #smut #fluff #ateez oneshot #ateez imagine #ateez smut #ateez scenarios

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samanthaa-leanne · 8 months

Text

“Hinata you idiot! You're not supposed to receive the ball with your face!” Kageyama yelled from inside the gym.

You looked up from your spot on the bench to see Hinata on the floor and Kageyama standing over him with his hands in the air. A bright red spot forming on his face from the impact.

“Yeah I know that Kageyama!”

You were a first year at Karasuno and had gotten talked into joining the volleyball club from your friend Yachi. The last few months had been interesting to say the least. You had some knowledge about volleyball, but after watching the Karasuno boys in action it was like you knew nothing at all about the sport.

Everyone was extremely talented and the team had the potential to go all the way to nationals this year. There were still some minor improvements that needed to be made. One of which was receives, which just so happened to be what the team was currently practicing on.

“You’ll get the next one!” Yachi encouraged from beside you.

Both boys looked over to where you guys were sitting, your eyes instantly meeting Kageyama’s, a small blush adorning your cheeks. Anytime you looked at Kageyama your heart raced. He was so handsome you couldn’t take it. You usually didn’t get flustered when it came to boys, but there was just something about him that made your brain turn to mush. You were better at talking to him then when you first joined. You used to always stumble over your words when you guys had a conversation, but now that you formed a friendship you found it was a lot easier to talk to him. You no longer stumbled over your words when you talked, but your heart beat like crazy anytime you were near him. The crush you had on him growing more and more everyday.

The boys give you both a nod and a smile before returning to practice, training even harder than before.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up. Maybe you should get him something.” Kiyoko said softly enough for only you to hear.

The third years were the only ones who knew about your little crush. Kiyoko was the first to figure it out, then Suga, Daichi, and finally Asahi. They didn’t get it at first, but that didn’t stop them from encouraging you any chance they got.

“Yeah maybe.” You said with a shrug, breaking your gaze from the two boys to look up at her.

Kiyoko was stunning. You could see why Nishinoya and Tanaka were obsessed with her. Not only was she beautiful, but she was incredibly smart. She could do anything she wanted after she graduated, and you couldn’t wait to see what the future held for her.

“Alright bring it in.” Coach Ukai said as the team sat in front of him. “We have a practice game tomorrow against Nekoma, so I want you guys to start cleaning up and head straight home.”

“You heard him, let's get this place cleaned up.” Daichi said standing up. Everyone followed the captain's orders with no push back. The team cleaned quickly and changed in the club room before heading home for the night.

“Hey YN can you uhm stay back for a second.” Kageyama asked nervously once everyone was out of earshot.

“Yeah of course.” You couldn’t help the flutter in your chest at the thought of some alone time with Kageyama.

You both stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before he cleared his throat, his hand reaching into his bag.

“Uhh I know Valentine’s Day is still a few days away, and I know it’s not much, but I got you this.” He pulled out a small teddy bear and a heart shaped box of chocolates with a small note attached to the lid. “They're homemade.” He said softly as you opened the lid, popping a piece in your mouth.

“These are amazing Kageyama!” You exclaimed watchigun his face turn bright red. You threw your arms around him and gave him a big hug. “Thank you so much. I love them.” He slowly wrapped his arms around you, returning your hug.

“It was nothing.” He said shyly, pulling back a little from your embrace. “I, uhm, was wondering if you maybe wanted to go out with me sometime? I really like you YN.” His face getting impossibly more red with his confession.

Your heart did somersaults in your chest. You didn’t think your feelings were reciprocated. “Of course, I would love to.” You answer, smiling up at him.

He pulled you back in for another hug before letting out a breath you didn’t know he was holding. You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at how nervous he was. You thought it was adorable. He ended up walking you home that night, hand in hand, and you had never been happier.

Once you got home you read his note and snuggled with the teddy bear he got you, eating another piece of the delicious chocolates.

“Best Valentine’s Day ever.”

#kageyama x reader #kageyama tobio #haikyuu kageyama #hq kageyama #haikyuu x reader #Valentine’s Day event #samanthaa-leanne #Haikyuu #hq x reader #kageyama tobio x reader

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ponyosmom35 · 11 months

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where do we go from here?

Simon Ghost Riley x reader

part 3 to fight (def read those first if you haven't yet)

synopsis: reader has had enough of Simon avoiding her.

master list:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

The rest of the night was quiet, the air was heavy. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, she wasn’t happy with Simon. The past night had been so much to handle, so much to process. The way he handled it all shocked her. She was disappointed and wished he would talk to her. Though they ‘made up’ he’d been avoiding her for two days. He would briefly greet her in the morning before going to the gym, or running an errand. She hoped that they could move past this horrible thing that happened, that horrible fight they had. But Simon seemed to make it his mission to avoid it at all costs.

After two days she was sick of it, tired of waking up alone. She missed him. Now that he was leaving she wanted to make her remaining time with him count. But she felt like he was pushing himself away to make it easier to leave. She refused to put up with this. She loved him more than anything in the world, and she was going to fight for them. She’d tossed and turned all night thinking about how she would approach the subject, she didn’t want to upset him, especially after how upset he still was about what he’d done during his nightmare. She wanted to have a genuine conversation. Unable to sleep, she woke up at 7 am, knowing that she’d catch Simon before he went on his run. He’d always been an early riser, he didn’t believe in sleeping in.

She made coffee and prepped some sausage, eggs, and toast for him to enjoy before he left. She waited patiently for him to rush down the stairs, his wide eyes searching for her. His body relaxes upon seeing her sitting at the barstool with coffee in hand.

“What are you doing awake this early?” he asks in confusion

“I made you breakfast, something small to give you protein” she says softly

“Thank you love” he says kissing her head as he sits beside her to eat.

The pair fall into silence as he munches on his food. She leans her head on her hands as she looks at him. Her eyes clouded with millions of thoughts and worries. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks

She smiles and sits up, leaning her head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around her and pulls her into his chest. His steady heartbeat reminded her that he was still here, and she needed him to be present. “When do you leave?” she asks

Simon’s posture shifts as he grows tense. “Monday”

“That’s in three days” she responds as her heart sinks, a heavy weight collapsing on her chest. “I hoped there would be more time”

“No time to waste”

“I wanted to apoligize for reacting the way I did, I shouldn’t have blamed you for my frustrations. I’m upset that you’re leaving, and selfishly I didn’t want you to go. But I would never ask you to stay, I know that this is what you do, and it’s who you are, I want you to know that I love you for it” she says taking his hand, focusing on how he sets his food down to give her his full attention. “I am more than capable of planning a wedding, and if there’s anything I need your help on then we’ll talk about it when you can. Plus I have my parents, I have grandma, and my friends, I have more than enough support, We have more than enough support for this. I am going to be just fine, I need you to know that. So I want you to stop pushing me away, the only thing you’re doing is making this harder” she finishes

Simon clenches his jaw and runs his hand over his hair. He refused to meet her gaze as he held his hand against his mouth, she could tell that he was trying to find the right words to say.

“You have nothing to apoligize for, I fucked up. I reacted like a right fucking dickhead. I wish there was a way to get out of it, I would stay, I want to be here through every step of it all. I’ve been so fucking out of my mind, I’ve let my fears get into my head and I’ve taken that out on the one person who doesn’t deserve it. I hurt you” he says bowing his head in shame.

“It was an accident, Simon you have to forgive yourself”

“How can I?”

“Stop viewing yourself like some sort of monster! You’re the kindest man I’ve ever met, you are so gentle and loving. You are simply the fucking greatest person I’ve ever met, it kills me that you torture yourself like this. You deserve so much better. I wish I could take all of this pain out of your head and carry it for you. But I can’t, so I’m begging you to stop letting it ruin you. It’s killing you Si, I can see it. I’m not saying that this is something you can just forget about, I understand that but dwelling on it will never make it go away, you’ll be stuck with it forever. There is no blame, no one takes responsibility for this. It happened, now it’s up to us to figure out where to go from here. I’m all in, you know that”

“Thank you” he says, looking down at her with tears in his eyes. He nods and pulls her into a hug. She moves from the seat and allows him to wrap his body around her. She knew just how much Simon was saying with that hug. For what his words lack, his touch makes up for. He was so passionate, she always admired that about him. He didn’t have to break down, he didn’t have to apoligize profusely, she understood. She didn’t need the words, she just needed him.

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tunaababee · 5 months

Text

we will be everything we say - Chapter 3

masterlist // fic playlist // read on AO3 // overall rating: e // wc this chapter: 3.3k // updates Mondays (aest)

Feyre Archeron has been best friends with Rhysand Sterling ever since she moved onto the same street when they were kids - the two became absolutely joined at the hip, with nothing able to come between them.

As they get older, life gets more complicated and things get harder. Not everything comes as naturally as it once did. People change, things happen, friends... drift.

But after drifting apart, maybe life can push them back together again, in time.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

a/n: sorry for the delay today, had a big weekend! this is one of my favourite chapters so far. i hope you all like it!! :)

Chapter 3: fifteen and sixteen

High school was already rough as it was for Rhysand. Trying to stay on top of his grades, meeting the expectations his father had for him, attempting to stay on the good side of all his teachers despite all the trouble he managed to constantly get into regardless of his best efforts. All of it was made slightly easier, though, by his friendship with Feyre and how the two of them persevered despite it all. She had never faltered in her loyalty and care since the day in the park that they had met as small children, and Rhys never hesitated to return it all in kind. Azriel and Cassian were practically brothers to him, Amren was wise beyond her years somehow and Mor was… well, Mor. He loved them all so much, but he never quite clicked with all of them the same way he did with Feyre. It was like they could read each other’s minds.

But soon, maintaining that deep and important connection with her was going to be a bit more difficult than he had hoped – his father had told him that they were moving within the fortnight.

It wasn’t anywhere too far away, only a handful of suburbs over in Velaris, but they had been on the same street together for almost as long as Rhys could remember. Living so close to Feyre felt almost as natural as breathing, so the idea of adjusting to an atmosphere without her in close orbit was nerve-wracking to say the least. There wouldn’t be any sense of excitement when he heard his front door unlock, or any quick escapes to the Archeron household anymore. He couldn’t help but resent his father for it.

“Dude, the fuck do you mean you haven’t told her yet?” Cassian spat out in surprise, the two of them keeping pace with each other during gym class. “Feyre will want to know, and it’s not exactly going to be subtle when one day she sees another family moving into your old place.”

“I know, I know. I haven’t been keeping it from her on purpose, I just… Finding the right time is difficult! I don’t want to tell her at a time when it’s gonna stress her out or something.”

“Rhys, you’re moving to the other side of town. It’s gonna stress her out at least a little no matter what.”

Rhys huffed a little at him with a defeated look - he always hated it when Cassian was right about these things, but it was one of the reasons he loved him, too. Underneath that mess of a man-bun and the muscles he was trying so desperately to continue to build was a heart of gold like no other, and it was exactly why he thought of him like a brother.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m just- she’s my best friend, y’know? I love her a lot, and I fucking hate that I’m gonna have to tell her because I know it’ll hurt.”

“Believe me, buddy, everyone knows you love her.” A small wiggle of his eyebrows accompanied his sentence, but Rhys swiftly elbowed him in the side without a second thought. Cassian’s hands launched to where he’d made impact, face contorted in some mild pain and discomfort.

“Fuck off, she’s my best friend.” Rhys chuckled, smiling a little at him.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, man,” Cassian wheezed out, grumbling to himself as the two kept running.

The worries about how he would break the news of his impending move kept swirling in his mind like an inky whirlpool throughout the rest of his classes, distracting him from Feyre who was walking right beside him out of the halls of Prythian High at the end of the day. She had been talking about how she was struggling with her reading for English class – she’d never been a big reader, let alone one for analysing texts – as he looked over at her when they walked through the doors and out into the golden sun beating down relentlessly in the spring afternoon. The light hit her face and it broke him from his worries and launched him directly into a different kind of stupor. The curls of her hair, the stunning steely blue of her eyes, the soft pink of her smiling lips being hit by the sun just right to make it almost look like she was glowing next to him as they walked.

She was perfect.

He elected to adamantly ignore the twist in his heart at the thought – she was his best friend, of course anyone would think their best friend was beautiful. Best friends are meant to be the person to hype you up, anyway. It was perfectly normal, and he shoved the feeling to the side in his head as he wrenched his gaze forward onto the pavement in front of him.

“…So anyways, I’ve never really been one for maximalist work, but Miss Stryga seems to only love works that are so busy and cluttered. I have no idea what I’m going to do for this next – Rhys? Hellooo?” Feyre waved her hand in front of his face with a confused expression. “Earth to Rhysand?”

“Huh? Sorry - sorry, you were saying about Miss Stryga?” Rhys scrambled to catch back up with what she had been saying, only half-listening as he had been waxing poetic to himself.

“I was saying I don’t know what I’m gonna do for this next assignment for her since I prefer more minimalistic abstract. Geez, you’re all over the place today.” She laughed lightly to herself, shaking her head a little bit at him.

“Yeah, my bad… I think I might have overdone it at soccer practice today or something. Just been really tired lately.” He rolled his shoulders back, stretching his neck slightly to emphasize his point. In reality, he had barely been able to give his all at soccer today whatsoever because of everything on his mind, but that was between him and the coach’s extra ten laps he’d been given.

Feyre quirked an eyebrow, her face concerned as she tried to break through the slight walls he was putting up. “You’re not up late at night playing WoW or something again, are you? Because I’ve seen you active on Skype late at night sometimes, and I know you got way deeper into it than you ever meant to.”

“How would you know if I’m up late playing games unless you were up late too, hmm?” He smirked at her with a feline grin, trying to get a slight rise out of her. There was nothing he loved more than their dumb, spirited arguments about everything and nothing at all.

Feyre’s mouth opened and closed a few times listlessly as she tried to come up with an excuse, Rhys nudging his side playfully into hers as they strolled down the pathway beneath green trees and next to gardens in full bloom. “Well, I- I’m not- That’s different, I’ve been trying to get work done!”

“Uh huh. Am I right in assuming that the work you’re doing involves watching Ouran High School Host Club or something in some capacity?”

A sheepish expression crawled up on her face, cheeks slightly pink. “…Maybe. I can’t work without background noise, what can I say?”

“See, now I know that’s a lie, because you’re always going on about how you prefer subs to dubs. While I’ve been busy studying the virtual blade, you’ve been busy being nerdier than I am.”

Feyre’s mouth was agape in mock offence, looking at him with her hands on her chest as if she had been mortally wounded. His eyes were definitely only on her hands, and not slightly lower at all. He was so respectful and focused on their conversation right now, it wasn’t even funny.

“Wow. I don’t think I’m ever going to recover from that. You’ve killed me. I’m going to fall to pieces and rot.”

“You’ll live, darling.” He put a sarcastic, joking emphasis at the end, mussing up her hair slightly with a laugh as she tried to swat his hands away. Feyre practically jumped toward him to try and mess up his own hair the moment he backed off. Unfortunately for Feyre, ever since he’d started high school he’d only grown taller and shown no signs of stopping even now in his sophomore year. By now he was almost a head taller than her, having to look down a little to talk to her.

A small sigh escaped him as they continued to walk, most of the other kids on their way home having split off in their own directions, leaving the two of them the only ones roaming through the quiet roads on the way back to their street. A small pit of dread formed in his stomach when he recalled that he didn’t have many of these walks left with her - they were one of the favourite parts of his days. He didn’t have to be the soccer team captain or the cocky troublemaker or the perfect son with the perfect looks and the perfect grades. He could just be Rhys. No expectations, no roles to play, no masks to wear.

Just Rhys and just Feyre.

He had to tell her and he was going to hate every fucking second of it.

“...Hey, uh, Feyre, can we talk a sec?”

She stopped a few steps behind him, Rhys stopping to turn to her when he realised she wasn’t following alongside him.

“I thought that’s what we did every day anyways, what the fuck are you talking about?” She looked completely puzzled.

He brought a hand up behind his head, looking down a little awkwardly. Rhys could feel his heart pick up pace. “I mean, yeah but… Like, serious talk for a second.”

Feyre caught up with him, the two of them continuing to walk together - Rhys could only focus on the expression of pure concern and worry on Feyre’s face. She was too good to him.

“You certainly sound serious. Is everything okay? You know that if your dad is being shitty again, you’re always welcome at mine - it’s pretty much your home, too.” Her hand came to lightly rest on his bicep, her eyes boring into him to try and read his expression. To glean even an ounce of what was going on in his head.

“No, it’s not like that- I mean, sorta? But not in that way. Promise.” Rhys tried to reassure her, not wanting her to think that he’d acquired any more bruises that weren’t from falling on his ass at soccer practice.

“As much as you’re trying to reassure me, it’s not exactly making me less worried.” She squeezed his arm lightly. His chest felt tight.

“Fair play, I guess. Um… Y’know how my dad’s been really busy with his business and everything lately?”

“Yeah…?”

“Well, it’s been going good. Like, really good. But…” The dread gnawing at the pit of his stomach continued to grow and grow, getting heavier by the second.

“Rhys, I am begging you to just be straight with me right now.”

“He’s making us move.”

“...Oh.”

The two of them had stopped walking, facing each other as Rhys’ tongue began to feel like lead in his mouth. He knew he had to keep going, to explain to her that he wasn’t moving too far away, that they just wouldn’t be on the same street, but the expression on her face in that moment nearly broke him. Fuck. Fuck, this isn’t how he had wanted this to go. Then again, if he had his way, none of this would be happening in the first place. The silence stretched between them, tense and taut and ready to snap like a rubber band.

“I-It’s not as bad as it sounds-”

“Do you know where?” It was obvious she was trying to hold back tears, lip quivering slightly and eyes glassy.

“Just a bit further away, the other side of town - Velaris. I’ll still be in Prythian, just- just not Wildebloom. Only a handful of suburbs over.”

Rhys thought that reassuring her would have helped quell her worries and make her feel relieved, but instead he only saw her grimace deeply before pushing him roughly by the chest.

“You couldn’t have fucking opened with that? I thought you were leaving town or something - fucking hell, Rhys!” Feyre sniffled, wiping at her eyes a little as she tried to collect herself. The fact that he’d made her cry, even without intending to, made his stomach twist into guilt-ridden knots. He tensed for a moment, not wanting to overstep or seem like he was trying to condescend to her, but every bone in his body was screaming at him to comfort her somehow. His hands balled into tense fists for a moment at his sides before he let out a long exhale, willing the tension and compulsion to subside.

“I’m sorry. I just… I hadn’t said anything because I was really hoping that whatever my dad was planning didn’t work out, but then it did, and knowing it in my head was one thing. But telling you? That makes it all so real, and I fucking hate it. I know we’ll still see each other at school and we can still hang out, but it’s… You and I both know it’s not the same.” Rhys couldn’t have stopped himself rambling if he tried, desperately trying to make Feyre understand and make her feel even just a touch more at ease. He hated nothing in this world more than seeing her upset.

She took a deep breath, pausing a moment before jerking her head forward in the direction of the way they had been walking. Rhys quietly followed, falling into step beside her again in the most uncomfortable and tense silence he’d ever experienced. She kept close to him, occasionally sneaking glances at him as they walked in silence, breaking her gaze away from him whenever he caught her looking. Soon enough, they were approaching their little street in the distance - they could already see Rhys’ house from here.

This is not how Rhys wanted to spend one of the few walks he had left with her.

Feyre broke the silence first.

“...When are you leaving?”

“Two weeks.”

“And how long have you known you’re leaving?”

“...Also about two weeks. I’ve been freaking out about how I was going to break it to you the whole time.” Rhys could see her wince a little, dragging her hands down her face with a sigh that weighed on his shoulders heavily. Guilt continued to snake up from his stomach, twisting around his neck now - tight, suffocating, tangible.

“I’m assuming the rest of our friends know, then?” There was a slight venom in her words.

“Not for long. A few days or so, I think?”

She paused for a moment, considering everything. Their pace was slow and meandering, almost at a complete standstill - Rhys didn’t want to go home without knowing that Feyre was alright, that they were going to be alright. Feyre looked up at Rhys, her face still slightly pained, but there was a softness there that wasn’t present a moment ago.

“I know you. I know you would have wanted to find the perfect moment to tell me that you were moving, at a time and place that I would have been able to easily accept it and move on like it was nothing. But you know that there would have never been a perfect time for you to tell me this, right?”

“...Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“I wish you’d have just told me when you found out, you prick. You’re my best friend. I wanna know these sorts of things, even when they fucking suck.” She put an arm around his waist, pressing herself to his side for a moment with a light squeeze before letting go. He felt his cheeks warm slightly, hoping and praying Feyre wouldn’t notice.

“Sure, but who ever wants to talk about the things that suck? I’d much rather spend my time giving you shit.” Rhys chuckled lightly, the atmosphere distinctly lighter and that horrid weight seeming to lift a little bit as they continued up the street.

“Wooow. Firstly, rude. Secondly, I think we have to focus on your shit now if anything. If you think I’m letting you pack and not helping out, you’re delusional. Good excuse to spend more time before you move, anyway.”

“Just because I’m moving doesn’t mean that we can’t still spend time together, you know,” Rhys insisted as they passed his driveway - he always made sure to walk her to her house, despite the fact that it was only two doors down, and today wasn’t any different. Any excuse he could get to spend time around Feyre he would always take without hesitation. “We can always meet up halfway and have lunch out in town or something. Plus I have my license, so I can come pick you up to whisk you away on adventures.”

Feyre’s laughter was almost like music to his ears, eyes closed and smile wide. She was so stunning and so unaware of it.

“Now I can finally have the cliche teenage experience of sneaking out at night to see a boy, how thrilling.”

The places Rhysand’s mind went to when she said that made chills run down his spine, shifting on his feet as he tried to shake the mental images Feyre had unwittingly conjured. He was so normal about this right now.

“Hey, you just text me and I’ll be there. No sneaking required. Besides, I’m not just a boy, I've been your best friend since we were little kids. I’m sure your dad wouldn’t mind.”

“He barely notices when I’m gone for school or for my job, I think he’s too checked out to mind much of anything.”

As much as Rhys hated that fact, he tried his best to take it in stride just like Feyre did. She turned to start heading up to her front door, Rhys grabbing her hand for a moment to give a small but reassuring squeeze before she went inside. To tell her that he was sorry but that he appreciated her all the same after all they’d talked about today. But instead of letting go, she gripped tighter for a second, and Rhys felt the world slow down a little bit as he watched Feyre get on her tiptoes. Her expression turned to a smirk before her warm lips met his cheek and he knew his face had turned red at that very moment. Feyre simply grinned wider as if she hadn’t just thrown his world off its axis, walking up to her door with a wave back at him.

“See you tomorrow, Rhys.” She said nonchalantly, heading inside and closing the door behind her.

Rhysand simply stood dumbfounded at the end of the driveway, staring at that white wooden door with his hand pressed to where her lips had met his skin. It felt like live electricity was still dancing along his cheek, jumping between his fingers, spreading down through his veins. He had half a mind to march up to her door, let himself in and crush his body to hers as he kissed her with everything he had.

But instead, Rhys turned and walked two doors down, mouth still agape in surprise. There was no denying to himself anymore that he was so deeply, desperately in love with Feyre Archeron. There wouldn’t be anyone else for him. His friends all already knew it, too. But she was his best friend, and he was moving soon.

So he kept that truth to himself, a secret that he wore on his sleeve like a uniform from that day forward, and unlocked the door to his house before heading inside.

#feysand #rhysand x feyre archeron #fanfiction #rhysand #feyre archeron #acotar #acotar fanfiction #friends to lovers

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