#so now i'm gonna make my *own* journal

[spacedace]

You ever have preferences about an item so specific that you have only ever been able to find it in one place, but that place is Amazon and you'd rather peel a leather couch with your teeth than buy from them so you end up seriously considering just learning how to make the item yourself?

Anyway I'm researching everything I can on how to bind books.

[goldkirk]

as I'm going back over my past history and items and journals and years, I come across all sorts of things, like the pencil I saved from that so-precious memory from second grade, and a pair of flip flops I've been missing for two years, and [checks notes] the modern-high-school-AU-kidnapped-by-a-serial-killer story I wrote in late high school jdfsjdfsjkjlksfd

[osshisan]

reading about what constitutes a healthy relationship w/ food and writing down the tips & reminders and trying to practice them is normal and perhaps even cute girl behavior

[inkskinned]

i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.

i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.

what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.

so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.

and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.

and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.

[sxorpiomooon]

What does your older self wants to say to you? A pac reading<3

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Pile 1-

you need to let go, this is so funny to me given the pile that you guys have chosen has a tattoo of "amor fati" which literally means this. If you've chosen this pile you might have an anxious attachment and some of you need to go off a relationship that you are holding. A japanese song is playing in my head? Sometimes you only hold onto things very tightly because deep down you know that the moment you let go they are going to leave you. Your older self wants you to let go of such relations one particular scenario that I'm getting is of someone being in a toxic relationship being completely dependent on their significant others knowing that the other person might not choose to stay with them once they let go or once they are given the choice to do so. Stop being dependent on people and allow them and give them the space for them to leave you if they wish to do so the only way to understand how much they love is by giving them the space to leave then only you know that they truly do love you. The other people in this pile need to know that all relations require space and time for both individuals to grow individually too. Only when you have enough space and time to grow individually you can contribute something to the relation. Some of you might have ashlesha nakshatra. Also take care of yourself by yourself your older self really wants you to take care of your hair lmao I keep hearing "wash up wash up" I'm also seeing fishes for some reason those orange ones I don't know what they're called? You might love them now or definitely own them in the future. Your older self also wants you to know that the cycle ends with you. Breaking off from the generation trauma cycle seems to be a very important theme here. I see y'all are already very cool but are even cooler in the future man I'm not gonna lie I also keep hearing alt for some reason whether it's for songs or fashion but y'all are gonna be fucking cool in the future man. Be resilient I have full faith in you pile 1 do it for the super cool you. I also see this pile moving out of this house if they haven't alr I keep getting japan again and again but y'all gonna live a pretty great lifestyle also reminded of lucky from the blue sisters novel? Thankyou!!

Pile 2-

this pile might have the tendency to overreact at that exact moment when they are faced with a problem. Their emotions at times might make it hard for them to actually get a good grasp on the situation. Your older self wants you to learn to differentiate between illusion and intuition lmao. I also had a vision of someone journaling so I think the older self might want you guys to write it down before reacting or coming to a conclusion on any sort of situation. I also think that writing it down might make it easy or better for you to feel and understand your emotions better and the problem as well. This pile also needs to focus on their unconscious mind? If you are manifesting something you might have some biases already that you need to pay attention to. This pile might also easily interpret things and get confused. Your older self wants you to follow your heart I heard "it will lead you to the right path" and right after this "sometimes to run is the brave thing" played in my head from its time to go by Taylor swift. You need to act on whatever feelings you have some of you might write and be confused about whether it's good or not or some confusion related to it here's your answer- it is<3 go ahead and follow your heart pile two it will never lead you to the wrong path in the long end. I also heard "beauty and art is everywhere" this pile needs to follow their passion. Lord this is ending on such a good note. Your older self also wants you to know that you should not fear bc all your hardwork will pay off<3 all your hardwork and sacrifices will pay off and you'll get the success that you desire and want. This was also a pile that I chose and I needed to hear this<3

Pile 3-

The time or whatever you are going through will not be wasted. The journey is there to prepare you and give you the experiences that you need to get to the level that you want to achieve in your life. This pile might be going through some hard things. This pile also needs to know that you cannot force anyone to grow early or to change early or hurry up some process everything has its own time be patient a delay does not mean a no. This pile also needs to come face to face with their problems and fear only then they'll be able to move past it. "The only way out is through" "change is the only constant thing in life" "no one else can do it for you" are the things that I'm hearing. This pile knows what's needed to be done but might fear the unknown. A big transformation that is much needed is coming after that I see a wonderful new beginning for you<3

thankyou!!

[imaredshirt]

Give me a Stan who thinks Fiddleford doesn't know how to throw a punch, much less defend himself in a fight with your average goon, so one morning he takes it upon himself to show the nerd a few basic jabs and hooks and maybe an uppercut or two behind the cabin, because let's face it, there's gonna be a time when Stan can't be there to take a hit for the guy or defend his nerd butt. So he's gonna teach him some stuff for his own peace of mind.

Fiddleford just kind of genially goes along with it, following Stan around the back of the cabin and watching with hands on his hips and a smile as Stan gets into position.

"This is one of the most basic punches in the world, so pay attention, 'cause I'm not gonna show you again," Stan says, knees slightly bent and fists up.

Fidds nods. "You've got my full attention, Stanley."

Stan isn't sure if he's imagining the way Fidds is eyeing him up and down, but he automatically flexes his arms a little more than he needs to. Up ahead, Ford is sitting on a tree stump and taking samples of the air or something (Stan had stopped listening to Ford's explanation once his words went from interesting to Big Science Shit that Stanley Does NOT Care About) and he's watching them with this amused grin, rolling his eyes skyward when Stan won't stop flexing and showing his arms off.

Stan ignores him and rolls his shoulders before jabbing his fists forward in a quick one-two. "There - you catch that?"

Fidds has got his arms crossed now and gives Stan a thumbs up. "Sure did!"

"See, just like this," Stan says, and shows him again despite saying earlier that he wouldn't.

He shows him a few more punches, going over each one a couple times before telling the engineer to mirror him, even getting in close to adjust the guy's scrawny arms and balled fists. He's being real professional about it and everything and doesn't understand why Ford keeps grinning and shaking his head at them, which is making him a little incensed but he stamps it down because Fidds is watching him with this nerdy, dopey smile while letting himself be maneuvered around and he's gotta learn to defend himself 'cause Stan can't stand the thought of some jerkwad wiping that smile off the nerd's face.

"See," he says near the end of the lesson, tapping his fist right against Fidds’s chin. "Do it right and your fist'll hit right here."

Fidds tilts his head a fraction at the touch. "Well alright then, seems easy enough."

"Yeah, like I said, if you do it right. Gimme your hand-" he takes Fidds’s wrist and taps the guy's balled fist against his own stubbly jaw. "Right here. You got that?"

Fidds nods. "Sure do!"

"Good." Stan drops Fidds’s wrist and gets into position again. "Then come on - lay one on me."

Fidds pulls back and blinks at him. "Come again?"

"Hit me!" Stan taps his jaw. "Right here!"

The guy suddenly looks nervous and galnces over at Ford for help. "Hit you? Stanley, I don't think-"

This is what Stan means. Fidds isn't always gonna be able to look to him or Ford to save him. He gets this weird, uncomfortable feeling in his chest at the thought of Fidds facing off against some asshat on his own, and that alone is enough to keep him from letting the guys off easy, if only to get rid of the weird feeling. Maybe a bit selfish but he doesn't care.

"Ah, come on, one little punch ain't gonna hurt ya, Fidds."

"I'm not worried about me," Fidds says, and then frowns when Stan barks a laugh.

"You think you're gonna hurt ME?"

Fidds is still frowning when Ford calls over in an amused, warning tone, "This is not a good idea, Stanely!"

"Just worry about your air test or whatever and leave us alone," Stan calls back. Ford shrugs and scribbles something in his journal, and when Stan turns back to Fidds, Fidds is finally getting into position.

He looks unsure, watching Stan nervously as Stan stands before him with his arms crossed.

"Hey, not bad form - you ready?"

"Well, I suppose so," Fidds says, accent coming in a little thicker than before. "Stan, if you're sure, I should probably warn ya-"

"Don't tell me nothing, just punch me!"

Fidds presses his lips into a line and throws his fist - and jabs Stan on the chin just hard enough to tilt Stan's head half an inch to the side.

"That's it?" Stan guffaws and shakes his head. "That was barely a tap!"

"I don't wanna hurt ya!" Fidds says, sounding so conflicted that Stan gets this urge to pull him into a headlock and ruffle his hair and drive the worry away.

Instead he riles him up.

"Please," he says. "Fidds, look - one of these days I'm not gonna be there to take a hit for you, and then what're you gonna do? Just let some jerk punch ya around?"

Fidds looks slightly perplexed. "Where is this all comin from? No, Stanley, I am NOT gonna just let some jerk punch me around."

"Good! So you gotta learn to defend yourself!" Fidds still looks unsure, so Stan tries a different angle. "Okay, how 'bout this - what if some jerks are beating up on me and Ford, huh? You're just gonna let em?"

Fidds looks up. "What? No, I am not!"

"You're gonna defend us?"

"Dangnabbit, Stan - of course I am!"

"Not gonna let us get our teeth kicked out?"

"What!? No!"

"Then show me!" Stan slaps a hand against his own chin. "Right here, come on! I'm some jerk who just threw your friend Stan to the ground and I'm about to kick him in the gut, what're ya gonna-"

The blow lands hard. Stan's head jerks to the side and he's thrown off balance, and he sees actual stars before his vision clears again and he realizes he's crumpled on the ground. His head swims as hands pull him around onto his back.

"Mother o pearl!" Fidds gasps. He's got his hands on Stan's face, careful touch at complete odds with the punch he'd just landed in the same place. "Are you alright? I am so sorry! I hit ya and you weren't even ready and - you just got me so riled up and I tried to tell ya and I shoulda said earlier instead o just lettin ya show me all those moves, but I just wanted to, well - goddangit, Ford, this ain't funny."

Ford's laughing as he comes up behind them, looking down at where Stan is staring kinda dazedly up at Fidds, who's kneeling by his side in the cool grass. "We did try to tell him, Fiddleford."

"Tell me what?" Stan demands. His jaw is already aching but Fidds’s hands feel kinda good so he doesn't tell him to move.

"Fiddleford was a boxing champion back back in his hometown," Ford says.

Stan blinks. "Bwuh-?"

"Not much of a champion," Fidds says with a wince, but he's blushing a bit as he goes on, "It was never anythin official, but - well, I did win more than a few matches at some backyard parties, see, and - well, people usually don't think I got any hittin power or can defend myself, but my Ma's been all too happy to teach me since I was little, and-"

The guy's rambling, and Stan quits being able to understand what he's saying half way through cause the accent is coming in thick and Ford’s chuckling and standing there looking proud of his best friend and Stan’s a little worried that he's still jarred from the hit, cause when he looks at Fidds kneeling there, one hand one Stan's chest and the other bashfully rubbing his neck while he rambles on - he's still seeing stars.

Later, while Stan sits in the living room with an bag of ice in his jaw and Fiddleford sitting next to him, still rambling about all the times he'd knocked a few guys into the mud in some backcountry hoedown get-together or whatever, Stan can lean back and relax and grin, knowing Fidds is gonna be just fine.

He can't wait to teach him wrestling.

[starstruckmiraclekitty]

Wait but I need to know how the 141 boys would react to reader faking an orgasm 🤭

Ps, love your writing!!! I check your bag daily

141 + König Reacting To Reader Faking An Orgasm

Thank you so much for your kind words!!! I love to know when people enjoy reading what I write🩷🩵

Warnings: slight smut, p in v sex, slight angst, swearing, tears, and mentions of insecurity--ends in fluff

I didn't make this super smutty, made it slightly serious!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simon Ghost Riley-

Simon honestly didn't mean to find it. He was walking by to finish with laundry and saw your journal laying on your vanity, wide open to a page talking about Simon. He was only human and couldn't control his curiosity as he skimmed over some of the words on the page. What he read had his heart sinking into his stomach.

He approached you about it later that night, his heart beating wildly as he was terrified of what you may say about it.

"Love?" Simon asked, hesitantly stopping in the doorway of your bedroom. His heart melted at the concerned look you gave him. "Can we talk?"

"Sure, Si. Is everything okay?" You asked, patting the bed next to you. Much to your dismay, Simon stayed where he was, his eyes glued to the floor.

"I was putting away laundry earlier, and.. I caught a glimpse of your diary." Simon started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. You watched on, as he struggled to find the words. "I swear I didn't mean to look, but I saw that.. You've not had a real orgasm in months. That you were..faking them..for me."

Your heart stopped beating for a moment as you absorbed your husband's words. You never, ever meant for him to see that, and you didn't know what to say.

"I..." You trailed off as tears began to fall down your cheeks. "It's not you."

"Don't give me that, kid. If I can't please my own wife in bed, it is my fault. I'm so sorry." Simon's voice was barely above a whisper as he sat on a chair across from you. He put his head in his hands, still unable to look at you as his thoughts raced. Did you not want to be with him anymore? Did you finally realize that you could do better?

"Simon Riley, I meant it when I said it's not you. I've just...I've not been myself lately. I've got so much going on in my head, and my self-image has suffered because of it. I don't find myself beautiful anymore, and it's hard for me to believe you want me during sex."

Simon walked over to you and proceeded to climb over your figure on the bed. He pressed a gentle kiss to your jaw before looking deeply into your eyes. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever set my eyes on, Y/N. Let me show you."

"Simon, please don't feel like you have to. I feel like such a burden and-" He cut you off from your rambling by pressing his thumb against your lips.

"I want to. Let me take care of you." The look he gave you in that moment sent heat barreling down to your core, and you couldn't help the soft moan that escaped your lips.

His hand wandered into the waistband of your pants and groaned when he felt the wetness pooling in your folds. "I want you to cum on my tongue, sweet girl."

"Please, Si."

And that was all he needed to hear.

Konig-

König was exhausted, and you knew that as well as he did. The two of you had been at it for a while now, and no matter what you or König did, your orgasm was far beyond your grasp.

You could feel Königs pace start to falter, as he'd continued going long after he'd found his own high in order to help you find yours.

You felt terrible, and you could tell he was desperately trying to keep a steady pace. You'd ended up just giving up on trying to find your own high, and decided to give your lover a break.

"Gonna cum, Kö." You breathed out, doing your best to authenticate an orgasm. You let out a small squeal, throwing your head back against the pillow as you forced your body to shake slightly.

König stopped his movements and looked down at you with a concerned look on his face. "Maus?"

You looked up at him questioningly. "Yeah?"

"Did....did you just fake it?" König asked, his voice quivering slightly. König had been with you for a few months now, and he knew how it felt when you had an orgasm, so he knew that you didn't just have one.

"I..." Your cheeks burned with embarrassment as you averted your eyes from your lover's inquisitive gaze. "I'm so sorry."

"Was I..not good enough?" König looked like he was on the verge of tears, and it tore your heart in two.

"No, no, that's not it at all, baby." You cooed, your hand reaching out to cup his cheek softly. "I just.. I feel so bad. I know you're tired, and it takes a lot for me to cum. I didn't want to impose."

Königs eyes softened at your words. "Maus, don't ever feel like it's imposing on me. I don't care if I didn't get sleep for days, making you cum is something that makes me feel good."

"It's really okay, Kö. I just dont think it's going to happen for me tonight. I'm not sure why, but I'm just not feeling it." Your eyes turned downward, looking anywhere but your boyfriend. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Schatz. It's okay." He spoke softly as he pulled himself out of you. He let out a hiss, his overstimulated cock throbbing from the cold air. "Follow me."

He stood up, and made his way to the bathroom, and the sound of the tub faucet running had you trudging your way over to him. "What are you doing?"

"Running us a bath, love."

~

You settled yourself against him in the tub, letting the warm water soak into your skin. König chuckled at the sigh that escaped your lips. His hands made their way to your shoulders, kneading into the knots that had formed there.

"K-Kö, you don't have t-to." You stuttered, your eyes falling shut as you relished in his touch.

"Hush, Maus. Let me take care of you tonight."

Kyle Gaz Garrick-

Kyle's pace was brutal as he continued to chase his high. His hands grasped at yours, putting them over your head as he pounded into you.

You knew he was getting close, and you also knew that you were nowhere near your release. You felt his abdomen tightening, and threw your head back, your mouth opening in a silent "o".

With a final snap of his hips, he let out a guttural moan as his orgasm rippled through him. You shivered slightly as you felt his cock pulsing inside of you, the warmth of his cum filling you.

He looked down on you as his breath began to steady itself. "Did you not cum?"

"I did." You nodded, confused by the look on your lover's face. "Why?"

"Babe, if you didn't cum, it's okay, you can tell me." Kyle sat up, his tone serious, which let you know that he knew the truth. You weren't yourself tonight, and he knew you better than you thought.

"I'm so sorry, I just... I can't get in the mood tonight, and I... I didn't want to hurt your feelings." You felt your eyes grow hot with tears as you averted your gaze.

"Don't ever apologize, sweetheart. You can always tell me if you're not in the mood. I don't ever want you to feel like you have to have sex. I'm a grown man, I can go without it. Just being around you is enough for me." He said, pulling your chin upwards, forcing you to look at him.

"But... but I lied." You stuttered, not understanding how Kyle wasn't upset with you.

"I know, but I get it. I'm not mad at all, babe. I promise." He pulled out of you slowly, before grabbing a towel off the side of the bed to wipe you off.

He climbed into bed, pulling you against him. He pressed a warm kiss to your lips, causing you to sigh against him. "I love you, Y/N. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too, Kyle." You replied, pulling back with a smile.

"I will say, though. Tomorrow? You're not leaving this bed until I get you to cum at least twice."

Johnny Soap MacTavish-

"Fuck, fuck I'm so close." Johnny grunted as his eyes fluttered shut. Your walls were hugging around his length in such a way that Johnny wasn't able to prolong his orgasm any longer. "Cum with me, babe."

You felt terrible, you didn't know what to do. You'd not been close all night to reaching your high, and you didn't have the heart to tell your boyfriend. "Cumming, Johnny."

You shook your body slightly as his thrusts faltered slightly as he came inside you, his cum painting your walls white as he moaned softly into your ear. He took a moment to compose himself before looking down at you with a concerned gaze. "Babe, did you cum?"

"Yeah?" You were concerned that he knew, as quickly averted your eyes from his gaze.

"Y/N, honey, you don't have to fake it for me. I know sometimes it takes more than just sex to get you off, and that's okay." He stroked your cheek gently, wiping away the stray tears that began to fall.

His gaze dropped to your lips before pressing his own to them. The kiss started slow, your mouths moving in tandem before he slid his tongue into your mouth.

"I just don't know why I couldn't tonight. I don't know what will help. I feel like such a jerk."

"You're not a jerk, Bonnie. Not at all." He gazed deeply into your eyes as he spoke. "I just want to make you feel good."

You let out a soft groan, your arms moving to encompass his shoulders, pulling him down toward you.

He broke away from the kiss, and you watched as his fingers began to toy with your clit. He chuckled softly as he watched your face scrunch together in pleasure. He rolled your clit in between his fingers, before plunging them into your hole.

"I'm going to make you cum tonight, if it's the last damn thing I do."

John Price-

"I know Y/BF/N. I don't know how to tell him, though. It's not like he's not good in bed, he really is. I just dont know why I havent been able to cum latley." Your voice was quiet, but unfortunately for you, John was passing by the room right as you said those words.

John stopped in his tracks as he looked into your shared bedroom and saw that your head was in your hands. He swallowed thickly, unsure of what to do with the newfound information. He was just about to walk away, when you caught a glimpse of him through the crack in the door.

You quickly hung up with your friend and ran to throw open the door. There was an awkward pause before you mustered the courage to speak.

"John, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear that." You felt tears pricking in the corners of your eyes, your humiliation seeping through your voice. "I just.. I was so ashamed to tell you."

"Don't apologize, love. It's nothing to be embarrassed about, either." John pulled you into a hug and pressed a kiss to your hair. "You've been extra stressed with work latley, and I know my coming and going for my work hasn't helped either."

"I still feel terrible. I just didn't know how to tell you. It's not that I don't want it, I really do, I just... I didn't know why it was so hard for me to find my release." You sniffled, hugging John tighter.

"Don't feel terrible. Next time, just tell me, yeah? I should've known they weren't real. You get this cute little fucked out face when you cum, I haven't been seeing it latley." He chuckled, before pulling away from you slightly. "You know what this means, though, right?"

"No, what?" You asked, peering up at your boyfriend.

John gave you a wolfish grin before pushing you backward onto the bed. He climbed over top of you, lifting the hem of your nightgown to reveal your lower half to him.

With his eyes locked on you, he pulled aside your panties before plunging his face into your core. His tongue immediately went to flick through your folds, collecting the pool of wetness that had begun to form. You let out a surprised gasp, your hands flying to John's hair.

"Means I'm gonna stay here all night til my baby girl cums for me, for real."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: thanks for reading!

[calliesmemes]

ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE (2001)

SENTENCE STARTERS PULLED FROM THE DIALOGUE FEATURED IN THE ANIMATED FILM ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE, with some quotations slightly modified for roleplay purposes.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

   “   Uh, would you gentlemen please excuse me for a moment?   ”

   “   If I ever hear the word "Atlantis" again, I'll step in front of a bus!   ”

   “   You have a lot of potential.   ”

   “   Who... who are you? How did you get in here?   ”

   “   I'm acting on behalf of my employer, who has a most intriguing proposition for you.   ”

   “   Relax. He doesn’t bite … often.   ”

   “   Did you really know my grandfather?   ”

   “   We stayed close friends ‘till the end of his days.   ”

   “   He spoke of you often.   ”

   “   I've spent my whole life studying dead languages.   ”

   “   I will stake everything I own, everything that I believe in... that this is the genuine Shepherd's Journal.   ”

   “   I'll show them! I will make them believe.   ”

   “   For years your granddad bent my ear with stories about that old book.   ”

   “   Your grandpa was a great man. You probably don't realize how great.   ”

   “   Don't let her age fool you.   ”

   “   Our lives are remembered by the gifts we leave our children.   ”

   “   Atlantis is waiting. What do you say?   ”

   “   Boy, I’m so excited, l-l-l-I can't even hold it in.   ”

   “   Excuse me? I need to, uh, report in?   ”

   “   Blondie, I got a bone to pick with you.   ”

   “   If you're lookin' for the pony rides, they're back there.   ”

   “   You can’t put a price on the pursuit of knowledge.   ”

   “   This should be enriching for all of us.   ”

   “   Now tell me your story, my little friend.   ”

   “   This is an outrage! You must leave at once! Out, out, out, out, out!   ”

   “   Now, what have I told you about playing nice with the other kids?   ”

   “   Back to the pit from which you came!   ”

   “   OK, everybody. I want you to give Mr. Thatch your undivided attention.  ”

   “   Cartographer, linguist, plumber. Hard to believe he's still single.   ”

   “   Captain, you'd better come look at this, sir.   ”

   “   Do you want to do my job? Be my guest.   ”

   “   How much time do we have?   ”

   “   I don't think he's comin' back.   ”

   “   Move it, people! Sometime today would be nice!   ”

   “   I won't sugar-coat it, gentlemen. We have a crisis on our hands.   ”

   “   Looks like all our chances for survival rest with you, Mr. Thatch.   ”

   “   We’re all gonna die.   ”

   “   Looks like we have a little roadblock.   ”

   “   That thing is going to keep me up all night, I know it.   ”

   “   You know, we've been pretty tough on the kid. What do you say we cut him some slack?   ”

   “   Hey, Milo! Why don't you come sit with us?   ”

   “   Hey, Milo, don't you ever close that book?   ”

   “   I know, I know. Sometimes I get a little carried away.   ”

   “   You know, that's what this is all about, right? I mean – discovery, teamwork, adventure. Unless, maybe, you're just in it for the money.   ”

   “   Hey, how’d you learn how to do that?   ”

   “   I never got to meet your grandfather. What was he like?   ”

   “   He was like a father to me, really.   ”

   “   My parents died when I was a little kid, and he took me in.   ”

   “   That is so cute!   ”

   “   Uh, no... no offense.. but how does a teenager become the chief mechanic of a multimillion dollar expedition?   ”

   “   So, what... what happened to your sister?   ”

   “   I just like to blow things up.   ”

   “   All right, who's not dead? Sound off.   ”

   “   Maybe that's our ticket outta here.   ”

   “   I gotta hand it to you. You really came through.   ”

   “   They can smell fear just by looking at ya.   ”

   “   We are explorers from the surface world. We come in peace.   ”

   “   Come. You must speak with my father now.   ”

   “   Someone's having a good time.   ”

   “   Commander, there were not supposed to be people down here. This changes everything.   ”

   “   This changes nothing.   ”

   “   You presume much to think that you would be welcome here.   ”

   “   I know what you seek and you will not find it here.   ”

   “   Your journey has been in vain.   ”

   “   May I respectfully request that we stay one night, sir?   ”

   “   Your heart has softened, Kida.   ”

   “   A thousand years ago, you would have slain them on sight.   ”

   “   We were once a great people. Now we live in ruins.   ”

   “   The kings of our past would weep if they could see how far we have fallen.   ”

   “   Our way of life is dying.   ”

   “   When you take the throne, you will understand.   ”

   “   Well, the King and his daughter don't exactly see eye to eye.   ”

   “   Well, if he's hiding something, I want to know what it is.   ”

   “   Look, I have some questions for you, and I'm not leaving this city until they're answered!   ”

   “   Oh, there is so much to ask about your world.   ”

   “   You are a scholar, are you not?   ”

   “   I got a few questions for you, too. So let's do this, OK? You ask one, then I'll ask one, then you, then me, then...well, you get it.   ”

   “   how did you get here? Well, I mean, not you personally... but your... your culture. I mean, how did all of this end up down here?   ”

   “   Wh... what... what … are you telling me… that you remember what happened because you were there? No, that... that's impossible...   ”

   “   How was my accent?   ”

   “   You know, you deserve credit for even... even gettin' this far.   ”

   “   By the way, we were never properly introduced. My name's Milo.   ”

   “   Uh, hey, you got a nickname?   ”

   “   You know, my grandpa used to tell me stories about this place as far back as I can remember.   ”

   “   I just wish that he could be standing here with me.   ”

   “   We are not thriving. True, our people live. but our culture is dying.   ”

  “   I wish there was something I could do.   ”

   “   Why don't you lead the way, because I have no idea where we're going.   ”

   “   This is amazing! A complete history of Atlantis!   ”

   “   I am such an idiot.   ”

   “   This is just another treasure hunt for you.   ”

   “   I would've told you sooner, but it was strictly on a need-to-know basis.   ”

   “   Welcome to the club, son.   ”

   “   Mercenary? I prefer the term "adventure capitalist."   ”

   “   You don't know what you're tampering with, Rourke.   ”

   “   Academics. You never want to get your hands dirty.   ”

   “   I got to admit, I'm disappointed.   ”

   “   You're an idealist, just like your grandfather.   ”

   “   For once, do the smart thing.   ”

   “   I really hate it when negotiations go sour.   ”

   “   Well, as usual, diplomacy has failed us.   ”

   “   You've got to listen to me. You don't have the slightest idea what this power is capable of.   ”

   “   Let’s get this over with. I don’t like this place.  

   “   Doesn’t anything surprise you?   ”

   “   Talk to me, Thatch. What's happening?   ”

   “   So I guess this is how it ends, huh?   ”

   “   You've read Darwin. It's called natural selection. We're just helping it along.   ”

   “   Be serious. This is wrong, and you know it.   ”

   “    You pick now of all times to grow a conscience?   ”

   “   She has been chosen... like her mother before her.   ”

   “   I followed you in, and I'll follow you out.   ”

   “   it's been my experience that when you hit bottom, the only place left to go is up.   ”

   “   What do you think that you are doing?   ”

   “   We're going to save Atlantis, or we're going to die trying.   ”

   “   Well, I have to hand it to you. You're a bigger pain in the neck than I would have ever thought possible.   ”

   “   Tired? Aw, that's a darn shame, because I'm just getting warmed up.   ”

   “   There's a hero's welcome waiting for the man who discovered Atlantis.   ”

   “   I don't think the world needs another hero.   ”

   “   I'm going to miss that boy. At least he's in a better place now.   ”

[hiskillingjar]

hi!!what do you think strade, law, and ren would react to a goth mc? love your blog btw💗

YEAH GOTHS RISE UP!!!!!!!!! as a fellow goth, love this ask and I'm gonna be totally normal about it 🖤

ren 🦊

urghhhhhhhh

he's one of those fucking "need a thicc goth to sit on my face and ruin my life" assholes on twitter so. he'd be normal for sure!

no he wouldn't, ren sucks, he would be so fetishy and gross about it

okay i'm being mean. he just...likes high aesthetic in any circumstance, so he'd instantly be attracted to an mc that has something specific to them

dolly fashion, e-girl, goth, lolita, he'd be obsessed whatever it was.

that being said, he'd only really be involved for the aesthetics

like (depending on what kind of goth you are) he'd be down with the eyeliner and the fishnets and the black on black

more than down, he'd love it! he thinks the fishnets and the leather and latex is super hot, and he'd loveeee any opportunity to see your makeup get messed up (lipstick smearing, tears ruining your eyeliner, etc)

but like. he's not going to be invested in much else. that's something for you, he just likes the way you look

law 🥀

law is basically goth already, change my mind

like in spite of not having much of an aesthetic about them, they're death-obsessed, super macabre and morbid, collect animal bones and make ART with said animal bones

that's not even discussing the poetry, the journalling, the melancholy they feel on a day-to-day basis. they've got a smiths album somewhere in their shitty apartment

they're goth!! tell me i'm wrong!

if you gave them a The Cure cd, they would be sooooooo into it. just staring at the ceiling like "yeah...he gets it".

they still prefer the smiths though. morrissey just gets them (unfortunately)

you'd be a goth power couple.

you're in your goth get-up reading poppy z brite out loud in a cemetery, they're prepping a wet specimen for you to display on the shelf they gave you in their apartment

you'd be full poppy z brite, drawing blood actually! maybe they try to kill you once or twice, just so you can see the river and they can make sure you're really like them, but that's okay.

it's just the gothic beauty of your relationship

they still love you <3

strade 🔨

i think that strade is a little alt in his own right too

like. he's got the cunty new rocks. he's got piercings. he's got long hair as a man. okay goth eurotrash, i see you! <3

this was definitely when he was younger, he looked a lot more alt, but as he gets older, it settles down

but he still likes your goth look a lot <3

just kind of in the dirty old man way though

wearing something short or low cut? you're going to get a wolf whistle and a slap on the ass

fishnets? come on now, you're just asking for trouble~

if you had more of a modest goth approach, he'd be less horned up but he might comment on it all the same. your legs look good in that, your waist looks pretty small in that belt, have you thought about throwing a harness on that?

granted, maybe a harness would be a bad choice...give him too much leverage for throwing you around and pulling you in close <3

and naturally, he'd get pretty excited from making you upset by ruining your clothes and makeup

he can only keep his sadistic inclinations at bay for so long now. what do you expect?

definitely doesn't help if and when you show up in his streams and his audience gets a good look at the 'new pet' he's keeping all to himself

you know what they say about goth girls, right? they're all kinky as fuck, you'd probably get off on whatever he did to you...

nice to see you living up to that particular stereotype <3

[floydira]

back at it again at Krispy Kreme.

Hello again!! It's me the silly anon (☆—(≧⁠▽°)★~) I have another request. I was kinda thinking about another Floyd x transmasc reader one shot idea and I thought to myself "hey! Wouldn't it be could if they had a egg (baby) together?" :3.

This doesn't have to be NSFW/smut at all and you don't have to do this if you're uncomfortable with it (obvi, I don't think I can force you into writing this (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ). Anyway, thank you!!!!! - anon ☆—(≧⁠▽°)★~

(p.s. I loved the other fic, it was great :3)

₊˚﹒✶﹒Taking Care Of Our Own .ᐟ

floyd having a baby with transmasc reader.

heads up! established relationship, usage of endearment terms, parenthood & a baby.

note ; hello silly anon!! this was a cute request. ngl this was kind of hard for me bc I don't really experience writing about parent stuff 😭 but I tried my best. I might make a continuation of this with the relationship between floyd and the reader with the baby and their dynamic, if you want.

floyd woke up with a mixed coloured egg in his hair, he was surprised at first.

he immediately talked to you about the egg, how excited but nervous he was and was eager to hear your viewpoint about it.

"we're having a baby! It would be so pleasant to take care of our own baby, but I'm so nervous. what if I mess up?" he said to you.

"I'm sure you won't, love. you've already done a good job loving me and taking care of me, I'm sure you'll do a good job for our baby too. plus, you won't be alone! I'll be right here with you, along the way. we can do this!" you reassure him while holding his hands.

"you're right. it's funny, I'm usually the one who says stuff like that yet you're the one saying my things back to me. thanks, honey." he gives you a warm smile as he leans in to hug you, a little tighter than usual. you take notice of that and pat his back gently.

It's been a few days since floyd first woke up with the egg in his hair. he hasn't informed any of his brothers yet about his situation. for now, only you and him know. he says he's saving it to tell when the egg finally hatches.

you were both doing your own stuff. with you cooking and floyd writing inside his journal.

you call floyd over to eat as you've finished cooking. he comes in and sits down across from you.

while you both ate, you decided to ask,

"so when's the egg gonna hatch anyway? do you have any idea?"

"not really, hun. I'm not too sure about it eith–" he gets cut off by the sound of something.

"Is that the egg?" you ask him.

floyd puts his hand in his hair and brings the egg out. lo and behold, the egg is moving– or well– shaking.

"oh gosh, it's happening!" floyd exclaims.

you both watch the egg shaking as it slowly cracked, your baby pops out!

it has traits from both you and floyd mixed together.

you suddenly hear sobs coming from floyd. you tear your eyes away from the baby that floyd is cradling to look up at him. his eyes filled with tears, happy tears.

you chuckle lightly, "oh, you baby..." you say to him as you wipe his tears away.

both of your hearts were warm and filled with joy as you stared at your own little baby that just hatched.

━━━━━━━━━━

It's been a week since your baby hatched from the egg. only now have you and floyd invited his brothers, along with poppy.

"oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh!" poppy screams excitedly. she's playing with the baby's tiny hands and fingers, talking to it in a baby voice.

"It's so cute! agh, you guys made the cutest baby I've ever seen!" poppy remarks, while cradling the baby in her arms.

"well, of course, it came from me and floyd. two hotties together make a cute baby." you state playfully, with a subtle wink towards floyd. floyd only giggles with his cheeks slightly heated.

"have you guys named it yet?" john dory asks.

"nope, but we're thinking about it." floyd answers.

"ooh! ooh! name suggestions! how about indigo, or eden?!" poppy suggests, bouncing lightly.

"what about haven? it has a nice touch to it." branch spoke.

"what do you think, hun?" floyd turns to you, with a smile visible on his face.

you thought deeply about it, "I think haven does have a nice ring to it." you affirmed.

you notice branch subtly light up from you considering his suggestion.

"ooh, bummer...I wanted my one to be picked." poppy mutters to herself.

"have you already prepared yourself for parenthood, floyd?" bruce asks.

floyd chuckles awkwardly, "to be honest, not really, but I think I'll manage."

bruce pats floyd on the shoulder, "if you need any advice, you know who to go to."

bruce gives him a singular finger gun.

"if your kid wants to visit putt putt village sometime, feel free to come." clay states

"will do, clay, will do." floyd replies.

after a while of conversing and hanging out, with some of them playing with your baby, floyd's brothers, along with poppy finally leave your humble abode, leaving you and floyd alone together. with the baby, of course.

"you thinking what I'm thinking" you say to floyd while moving your eyebrows up and down mischievously.

floyd rolls his eyes and shakes his head while grinning like a lovesick fool in denial playfully as a nonverbal reply to what you said. he hugs the baby closer in his arms and intertwines his hands in yours.

[itsclydebitches]

Don't mind me, everyone, just gonna slip on my Tedependent conspiracy hat for a bit...

Okay, for real though, can we talk about how Trent's backstory in 3x06 completely re-contextualizes his dinner with Ted in 1x03? Based on my own interpretation, the implied timeline is that Trent was married to a woman, attempted to come out to her and was dismissed (perhaps in large part because they were married: what do you mean you're gay? You can't be. You love me, etc.), either having his daughter forced Trent to become more honest about what he and his family needed, or they had her in an attempt to "fix" the marriage, she gets caught in the crossfire of all this, Trent comes out again, this time his wife believes him, they divorce, are still good friends, and their daughter is happier than ever because she has two loving parents who are now living their best lives.

Given her age - 3 at the start of the series, about 6 now - that means there's a decent possibility that Trent was still married at the beginning of the show.

And that his dinner with Ted is one of the things that pushed him to try coming out again.

As his core Ted is someone who is authentic and that authenticity is what catches Trent's interest. He's dismissive of it at first, literally thinking it's a "fucking joke," only to later end up with the revelation, "You really mean that, don't you?" - that Ted honestly enjoyed spending time with him. AKA, Ted says and does what he means, even when it seems completely unbelievable. How freeing must that be to see? I'm just imagining this interview-turned-dinner through the eyes of a man who is still unhappily married, mostly closeted, and struggling to help his daughter through the stress of that dynamic. Then he meets this sunshine of a coach who is so authentically himself that it initially comes across as an act, an exaggeration, a joke. But Ted never wavers, simply refuses to be anything other than himself. Soon he's doing even more than that, breaking down gender norms by characterizing the masculine, aggressive Roy Kent as the "little girl" from A Wrinkle in Time, burdened with the responsibility of leadership. He turns what should have been the end of a horrific day of shadowing into a dinner date and Trent finds himself answering the hard-hitting questions instead of his interviewee. Ted brushes off his accusation of greed with, "Wait, I'm supposed to be getting paid?" but Trent is completely caught off guard by Ted's "What do you love?"

The textual answer is "writing" and the fun fandom answer is "you," but if this is a Trent who still hasn't fully come out yet that's! A hell! Of a question!!! A closeted, queer individual's mind is going to jump to their biggest secret and, when offered an out, they're going grasp at it, so Trent eagerly agrees with Ted's guess of "writing" the same way Colin eagerly pulls the 'This is a gay bar? Haha, my mistake' card and makes a run for the door. Reading this interaction as Trent not just being gay, but potentially being closeted and unhappily married makes it less about the journalism (this strange coach likes me and thinks I can be a good person despite my invasive career choice) and more about his sexuality. Oh, no big deal, just having an intimate dinner with another good-looking man who's questioning me on love of all things and slowly inspiring me to be the best version of myself, which would require coming out to my wife again. This is a totally normal and not at all life-changing night! I definitely don't need to run away now!!

Via this reading Trent's article feels so loaded. Ted is "out there in the community" either "bravely or stupidly facing the music." That sounds a hell of a lot like a parallel to literally coming out and facing the music of a community's potential rejection, with Ted's American background/inexperience/unique personality acting as a stand-in for sexuality; the reasons he's labeled a "wanker" before anyone actually gets to know him - as the pub trio does while those very words are narrated by Higgins.

And then we have this:

"If the Lasso way is wrong, it's hard to imagine being right.... and though I believe that Ted Lasso will fail here... I can't help but root for him."

There are other elements at play here, like the football's celebration of ego and the threat of the club being relegated, but underneath it really sounds like a still-cynical Trent wanting to see the kind of changed world that those like Ted could bring about, but not really believing that it's possible. Given his history, is he really just talking about football when it comes to "the Lasso way"? I doubt it. Trent is potentially feeling trapped at this point in time, pessimistic to the point where yes, he still thinks that Ted will fail at football and creating a more inclusive, accepting community... but even still, Trent can't help but root for him. Of course he can't. He wants what Ted is offering. He needs it.

But then, of course, Ted succeeds! Not just in doing well by the club, but by the community as a whole. He maintains that inspiration and hope until, potentially, Trent felt like he could do something about his own situation. He found the nerve and strength to try again. So he comes out to his wife, they divorce, their daughter is happy, he goes on a date with a mustached man at the local pub, ditches him to try and 'interview' Ted, blows up his career because he realizes that his job is undermining the very thing he's been rooting for and he can't not give Ted a heads up, begins shadowing Ted as he looks for something "deeper," and then comes out to Colin, gazing wistfully across the water as he imagines being able to kiss a man after a win...

I'm not saying Ted Lasso is going to go there - and I'm DEFINITELY not saying there should be ANY accusations of queer baiting if/when they don't, because we've absolutely built the majority of this ship in fandom spaces - but I AM saying that if Trent's potential intersection of his history with Ted's influence and Ted's desire to shake things up while imagining bisexual triangles actually led to something... it would be a damn well done setup!

[kanmom51]

Like Crazy - new insights

*This is a reposting of my latest reblog due to issues with that specific post.

***This has been sitting in my drafts since April 2023!!!

This is the post I reblogged and the basis to my own post.

Yep. I had some of a post written way back in April 2023, but the pieces just didn't come all together for me.

After Muse's release and specifically after the BTB yesterday where JM discussed Who, Muse and the lyrics, we also saw the change made to Who's lyrics from "you" to "she" things started to clear up for me. But then, a friend also shared a picture of the original lyrics of Like Crazy, which were subsequently altered before recording. We discussed these changes and I now feel that this is it! This is the missing piece to my post.

I mostly left what I wrote over a year ago in tact, adding the missing pieces to this puzzle that makes this post with what I feel is a little more insight into Like crazy.

Needless to say, these are my opinions, how I see the lyrics, the ones that made the cut and the ones that stayed in JM's lyrics journal.

So, let's get started:

Here I was thinking I'm the only one who was seeing this...

I do hope I'm reading this right, before going off motormouth about something that maybe isn't what is being said, but to hell with it, this is something I've been thinking too and I'm just gonna come out and say it.

We're all over 18 here right?

This is a subject we can talk about?

The more I listen to this song, the more I think it to be true too.

First of all, before starting off, I want to link this ask:

**Shock and awe... "she" wasn't part of the original lyrics for Like Crazy . Colour me surprised to learn the same is true with Who (even though JM didn't actually write the song himself). Oh, and if we are on that subject already, how not surprising to see the process of writing the song with John Billion, who happens to be one of the writers of SNTY as well (me sitting here thinking of several words and references that could have been somehow suggested and inserted into the song. No idea who (nah, I'm telling lies, I know exactly who). How shocking (NOT) to see that the artist actually had input with the song lyrics of which he is not credited in writing.

Again, the depth of the song, the layers to the song and the multiple interpretations too.

JM told us this song is about him struggling. He told us he was going through a period where he was drinking too much. He was finding fulfillment in ways other than performing, as performing is part of him, he is a performer, someone who needs the stage to express himself. The stage is where he is at peace, the stage being a piece of him that he was missing.

We saw his outburst of emotions in the first day of MOTS ON:E (that was my first experience of BTS and he literally broke my heart - and later seeing him being mocked for it infuriated me).

This was October 2020, around 6 months into the pandemic. The uncertainty. This is their first online performance and from there until Muster another 9 months go by. We know from Festa 2022 that the pandemic screwed up all of their plans. The uncertainty, working on and releasing BE and then Butter and PTD everything leading up to the PTD online concert, a year after MOTS ON:E. For those that performing is their life, standing in front of an audience and giving it their all, it's a hard pill to swallow. The unknown, if they will ever get back to perform on stage in front of a live audience, when this is who they are, their essence, it can be unbearable. JM wasn't the only performer to go through this. It's just that he shared this with us. He showed us his pain and vulnerability and was mocked for it by many. Shame on them!!!

So, again, JM told us with Like Crazy, that he was filling in that hole. Alcohol was mentioned by him specifically. But listening to the song, I think it's quite clear that sex was a very big part of it as well. Looking for that rush, that high. It's clear as day, for me anyway, in the lyrics.

(I think we could last forever I'm afraid that everything will disappear Just trust me)

[Verse 1] She's saying Baby, don't think about it There's not a bad thing here tonight Baby, you can leave it Stay with me until today

[Verse 2] Watch me go Wet me all night (Away) And morning too Don't come if you're drunk

In this loud music It fades me It's a drama-like story I'm get used to it Have you come far to find me that you used to know? Yeah, I know You know, I know (Ooh)

[Chorus] I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Interlude] Mmm-hmm Yeah, hey Mmm-hmm Ooh-woah Mmm-hmm Mmm-hmm (Forever, you and I)

[Verse 3] Me reflects in the mirror I'm going crazy without hesitation I'm feelin' so alive, wasting time

I'd rather be Lost in the lights Lost in the lights I'm outta my mind It holds to the end of this night Every night You spin me up high The moon that embraces you Let me have a taste

[Post-Chorus] Give me a good ride (Oh, I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin') It's gon' be a good night (Oh, I'm fallin') Forever you and I

[Outro] This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Those are the lyrics he recorded.

But you see, there were changes made to the lyrics he was working on originally, and we got to see some of them.

This specifically:

Reading this draft and the final ones there are a few things that just fall into place for me (and I'd think for anyone that reads them), loud and clear:

First of all, obviously JM is singing about drinking too much alcohol. If the final lyrics hinted to losing himself in alcohol, the draft lyrics are ever so clear regarding that point.

Second of all, the sex. I think JM was pretty straight forward using the wording he was using. "Give me a good ride" can be other things, if you twist it around to try and explain it away, but bottom line, those lines within the context of the lines in the draft, like "just go turn off the light, you and me..." not to mention the whole chorus, to me the reference is obvious.

Next, I talked about the many references to JK in this song in this post:

This is all also relevant when it comes to my next point being the fact that to me it's clear that JM wrote this song referencing a special someone with whom he shares a high level of intimacy. A special someone that was there by his side when JM was struggling. A special someone that was struggling seeing JM going through everything he was.

To that person JM wrote (in the draft): "oh baby don't you cry, just wanna see your smile..."

These lines, they were too much. Too obvious. Too intimate. And they were left out probably because of just that.

So JM went with other lines. A little less obvious perhaps, and yet still very telling. The finale of the song:

No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

Now, you could claim that the song is about an inner struggle. JM struggling with himself, talking to himself, and yes, that could very much be part of the message JM, the king of layering, is going for. But see, that's exactly the point. JM is the king of layering, of having several meanings and messages within his lyrics and creations. And this is not different. There is no mistaking the reference to another person, not JM himself, in the lyrics. The way he uses the "you" in the lyrics, at times could pass as you being the alcohol, at times the you being himself in the mirror, but at times it's clearly a third party he is talking to. Especially in that finale to the song, that someone that wants to lift him out of that stupor he is in, to wake him up, to save him, when he is unwilling, not ready to accept that help just yet (same person he asks not to cry, knowing that he is making them sad). There are also the clear JK references in this song. The "you are me I am you" being the loudest of them all.

But JM being JM, he showed us in his own way what this song was about, opening up and allowing us to see his drafts.

And then he gave us Letter. Hidden, and private and intimate. Addressed not to us, but to that person that was always there by his side, that person he addresses in Like Crazy telling him "forever you and I". Now, in Letter, being in a better, healthier place, he can repeat the sentiment of them together forever. A sentiment JK had mentioned in the past (omg, that was so very awkward).

And now using lines like : "I sincerely hope we are forever" and "But don’t forget that we’re always together"...

The lyrics, the sentiments, the drafted lyrics that never made it, like the use of "Dangshin", I have talked about it all. Letter was for JK. Period.

When seeing Like Crazy again, the lyrics, the struggle, the person by his side, the intimacy, and Letter, I'm kind of thinking that not only is Letter a love ode to JK. That is stating the obvious. But it's also JM's acknowledgement and thank you to that person that stood by his side in his most difficult of times.

JK.

Bottom line:

Like crazy is about JM struggling and self medicating with alcohol and sex.

It's personal about himself, his struggles, but also includes a person that is there by his side, one he is highly intimate with, one who is there with him together. That person is there, spending the nights with him, in that escape world JM created for himself. Sad seeing JM struggle, trying to find a way to help JM out of that pit but being unable to do so, staying by JM's side all the same.

We know who that person is.

Same person he addresses Letter to.

[ros3ybabe]

Daily Check-in: April 14, 2024 🎀

Hello lovelies! Life is looking better again, but omg was Wednesday thru Saturday morning rough for me. Even last night I was crying my eyes out, but things got better today so I am happy. I want to make a small announcement about the future of my blog: I am changing the theme!! I will still be keeping the pinterest-image, pink, girly aesthetic for my more general posts (lists, routines, etc) but for my daily check ins, I will be using photos I take myself (anonymous surroundings, notes, food/drinks, etc) and colors and emojis that compliment the photos! I have been wanting to change the vibe a bit lately to make it more me, more personal, and I think now is the time to do so! I'm excited to start taking my own photos now, that'll be so fun!!

🩷 What I Accomplished:

washed my sheets, towels, blankets, and comforter

washed and put away all laundry

cleaned the bathroom

packed shoes to ship from my depop shop

cooked chicken fettuccine alfredo from scratch (I made the sauce myself too! it was heavy on the parm and some pieces of chicken were salty, but it was so yummy and rich in flavor!)

planned out some of my week

packed my gym bag for tomorrow (I'm gonna start working out again, I'm nervous)

did my guided journal and morning journal

read 3 chapters of The Untethered Soul (interesting so far, going to keep reading to see how I enjoy it)

wrote out my brain dump for the week

reflected on the week + updated with my accountability buddies

bought groceries (time to make smoothies for breaky this week) and toiletries

🩷 Good Things That Happened:

my pasta was super yummy

had a long phone call with my dad (it was a good talk!)

finally read a physical book and not on my ipad

had such a nice, long shower early this morning

confidently planned goals for the week

my psyc assignment got extended til Wednesday for the whole class

found a recipe for avocado protein smoothie (excited to try it)

🩷 Stuff For Tomorrow

make a breakfast smoothie

gym cardio workout

need to ship shoes I sold

need to complete my homework

studying Spanish (have an italki lesson on April 22nd!!)

read some more

studying chemistry in preparation for my finals

No "what needs to go better" for me today, because today was a really good day. I'm feeling better and life itself is working out the way I knew it would. I just gotta trust in the universe more.

til next time, lovelies 🩷

[yourlocalasexuwhale288]

Okay, so this is the third time I have attempted to make this post, so here it goes again.

I have had exactly one request for my favorite Hannigram fanfics, thank you @why-do-i-still-care, for allowing me to put this up.

So, in no particular order, my favorite fanfics. All except one are complete, and all are really good.

First, we have an FBI academy Will who is interviewing the infamous Hannibal the Cannibal as a project for Professor Crawford's class. Includes Sassy Will and Smitten Hannibal.

Next, we have college aged Will, a bartender who has a regular, Doctor Hannibal Lector. Despite losing his job, Hannibal follows his favorite bartender to each new job. Eventually, Will and Hannibal are dating. At the same time, the Chesapeake Ripper is courting someone, a love letter with a corpse, and now Will has a secret admirer, signing with the initials C.R.

Next, very similar to the last one, Will has failed to join the FBI, so he falls back on his second degree, Journalism. When he profiles the Minnesota Shrike while writing an advice column, he attracts a lot of attention, including the FBI, and the Chesapeake Ripper. Now the Ripper is dropping bodies with clues left to Will in order to find them, some alive, some not. Another courtship of bodies and blood.

In this one, Will tips himself and Hannibal off the cliff, and instead of hitting the water, he wakes up in Wolf Trap, before meeting Hannibal. This time, he's determined to meet Hannibal under different circumstances and woo his cannibal.

This is based on that one post. You know the one. The odds of a serial killer picking up a serial killing hitchhiker are low, but never zero.

I'm gonna cut this off here and make another post because tumblr is having issues with the length of this one.

[charmedbystars]

you don't get it (e-1610 miles morales)

pairing: e-1610 miles x reader (unrequited)

summary: you try to understand miles, but you cant.

a/n: this is the first time i try writing something so i'm so sorry if it's bad. plz leave suggestions and stuff if ya want! also debating a part 2 but i hate this sooo i don't know yet...

you and miles grew up together. making an oath to stick together for the rest of your lives in the sandbox of a park about two blocks from miles’ apartment. and you guys sure stuck to that oath. from crying about getting sand in each other’s eyes, going through the awkward teenage phase (and miles still going through it), to being accepted into the same school. you guys were inseparable. 

recently, you found out about miles’ secret vigilante identity. you didn’t take it very well and constantly scolded miles about his safety, but you were glad he chose to trust you. 

of course, when it came to trust it came with knowing other stuff too… such as knowing who gwen was. and to make it even better, since you were the only person (other than ganke) that he can go on to talk about her, you became a victim of listening to the constant babble of gwen this and gwen that. you literally didn’t know how much longer you can take it, especially with those feelings of yours bubbling in your stomach. 

of course… how cliché of you to be in love with your best friend of years. plus your best friend being the super oblivious miles did not make it any better. 

anyways going back, you didn’t know how to tell miles that you’re in love with him without ruining your years of friendship or how to just simply ask him to shut the fuck up about gwen without hurting his feelings. you literally didn’t know how he could talk about her for hours without getting tired (although if someone asked you about miles, you would go on for ages, but that’s different) and the number of times you’ve caught him sketching her in his journal has become freaky. 

you love miles but this is just getting tiring. you want things to be how they were. when you guys would sneak up to the roof and talk about the stars or sneak out to do some graffiti. now it’s just cancelled plans, late texts backs, and constant excuses. and that’s how you are now, sitting outside the steps of miles’ apartment waiting for him to arrive with the cakes for his dad’s promotion party. you look down at your phone and open it again to see if he responded.

you: hey miles im outside waiting 4 you

you: dont forget the cakes and stay safe

you: lemme know when you arrive plz

Delivered 

you sighed for the twentieth time, wondering when miles was going to arrive. you just sat outside on the steps to his apartment when about ten minutes later you hear a crash. you stand and squint looking up. 

“y/n! come upstairs so we can enter the rooftop together,” there was miles, head handing outside his window. you nodded your head and headed upstairs to his apartment. you didn’t even bother knocking and simply just barging into his house. walking into his room, you see miles rushing to get his shoes on. 

leaning against the wall, you stared down at miles, “so what was it this time? it better be good enough that you’re late to your own father’s party”

“yes i knowww, i just got caught up doing some stuff. the villian today was super weird though and then i almost lost the cakes, but you know what? none of that matters because i’m here now!” he gave you one of his wide smiles.

you couldn’t stay serious with him when you gave you that smile. you yourself cracked a smile, shaking your head. “okay, noted. crazy day for spiderman, now hurry up and get your shoes on faster because one more minute longer and your mom is gonna freak.”

“well seems like my mom is already freaking,” miles smugly looked at you while standing up, grabbing the cakes and leaving you behind. you grumbled and just followed behind him. 

arriving to the rooftop, you can already see miles’ mom looking around and as if she sensed miles, she quickly walked over to you guys. 

“miles donde estabas? you’re late to your own dad’s party? y/n thank you so much for getting miles here,” miles’ brows furrowed as his mom gave you all the glory for him being there.

“mom what? i got here just fine!” 

“no, thank y/n because i know she’s the responsible one out of the two of you,” you gave miles the same smug look that he gave you earlier and tilted your head a little higher.

“anyways, grab something to eat. miles, ven porque your dad and i want to talk to you for a minute” rio gave her son a look. 

you simply nodded your head and strolled off to make yourself a plate. sitting down on a bench somewhere, you tried to block out and avert your gaze from miles’ parents yelling at him. you felt bad that you couldn’t do anything especially when you know so much about him that others don’t understand. 

about an hour has passed since miles’ scolding and you didn’t want to approach him directly after to save him from embarrassment and allow him to take a few minutes to himself. you assumed that he went to his room and would come back in a couple minutes because you knew he wouldn’t completely miss his dad’s party. 

you engaged in small conversations with miles’ cousins and family members, but after a while they left to go eat or do their own thing. resorting to scrolling through your phone and watching a couple tiktoks when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“mija, quien es esa que esta arriba con miles?” rio tilted her head in the direction where miles was. surprising you completely, miles was on the water tower with gwen laughing and nudging each other. looking and them and snapping your head back to rio who seemed a but agitated with her eyebrows quirked up. 

“uhh.. i think that’s gwanda? one of miles’ friends but she’s usually out of town. miles’ never mentioned her coming though…” you simply shrugged your shoulders. feeling a heavy weight in your stomach, you tried not to look over at them again. 

approaching behind rio was jeff. he had a similar expression as rio, brows furrowed and scratching his head. 

“she looks old enough to vote… and i bet she doesn’t even speak spanish,” rio kept talking about gwen which didn’t help you trying to block out the sinking feeling. jeff crossed his arms and kept looking over at them. 

somehow, rio convinced you and jeff to go up to the water tower and meet gwen. now, you’ve never met gwen but you sure have heard enough about her to know that she’s not a bad person. 

rio was stumbling to get up the tower and introduce herself to gwen. crashing into miles slightly, not caring a bit if she interrupted anything. “hello! i’m miles’ mom,”

“rio! i’ve heard so much about you!” immediately hearing those words come out of gwen’s mouth, you winced. you knew that rio was not about having first name bases with any one of miles’ friends. you glanced over at miles’ expression who seemed a bit worried. 

looking at the interaction was a bit odd and very awkward, especially with you standing next to miles’ parents doing nothing. you didn’t want to make a move to introduce yourself either, you didn’t know if there was anything for you to say really. honestly rio’s jokes weren’t making it any better either. hearing “don’t take him from me.. oh! you can’t cause he’s grounded haha” and “don’t break his heart” coming from rio’s mouth was just making you want to get bitten by a spider so you can turn invisible in that moment. 

gwen trying to escape the moment made up that she needed to get her steps in and go. turning around to give miles a handshake, she glanced over, noticing you in the corner. not wanting to be rude, you just gave a wave. she gave you a small smile until taking off down the stairs. 

once she left, jeff also left to return to the party leaving miles, rio, and you behind. miles ignored both of your presence and leaned against the railing, shoving his face into his hands. you went up to miles and rubbed his back.

“i’m sorry miles,” he glanced over at you and gave a sigh. you looked over you shoulder and looked at rio. she seemed to be thinking. deciding to give miles and his mom a little time to talk, heart to heart, you descended down the stairs. 

looking down at the city below you, millions of thoughts run through your mind. almost all of them being about miles. you wanted to help him, you wanted to be there for him in every way, but you just don’t seem enough. you didn’t know what to do and you don’t want to try to seem understanding when you have absolutely no idea what he’s going through. you just want him to feel at peace with you. there’s nothing you want more in the world than seeing miles happy. although the feeling in your stomach of knowing that miles’ happiness lies with gwen and not with you just made you nauseous, you knew you had to let him go. but, before you let him go… maybe you’ll try. 

seeing miles and his mom done talking, you see miles about to leave. getting a feel of adrenaline through your veins, you ran after him before he managed to take a step down the stairs. 

“miles! where are you going?” you cocked your head to the side.

“i’m going after gwen. there’s something going on and i’m going to follow after her,” he tapped his feet and glanced around as if he’s if a rush. 

“wait, miles what? you’re leaving? do you even know where you’re going?” 

“no, but i know that i’m needed y/n. i gotta go now like i have this feeling.” 

“wait so you’re skipping out on your dad’s celebration for a girl?”

“n- no! there’s something going on and i need to fix it” miles was starting to squirm eager to put on his suit and swing through the city.

“is there gonna be a day where you live for yourself? i understand that you’re spiderman and you help out the people, but you can’t be doing this constantly miles. you’re a highschool student and have so m-” 

“no, you don’t understand! no one understands! but there are people out there who will-”

“c’mon miles, don’t be like that. i know i don’t exactly understand because i was bitten by a spider or anything, but i’m trying to understand through you and being there for you!” the tone in your voice starts getting a bit higher.

“i just learned that there’s a way for me to see other people who are just like me! i need to go!”

“you know what miles? go. i’m trying so hard to be supportive but-”

“well you’re not. i don’t want to escalate this any farther. i’m going… bye y/n” before you could respond miles ran down the stairs leaving you with a lump in your throat. you didn’t want to start anything, you just wanted miles to try to get a piece of normality within his crazy spider life. 

sighing once more, you decided to sit on the ledge and look off into the distance wondering how you were gonna fix it between you two. 

[gimmeyourlovepls]

Jealousy

summary: you and the other Baudelaire siblings are on the Queequeg, and seeing Fiona all touchy feely with Klaus makes your blood boil. So, you write your feelings out, but you didn't know that he would read them.

a/n: hi! Was rewatching asoue and the ideas just exploded. Side note, normally you, the reader, at least in this one-shot, are very clingy to Klaus, always hugging him and holding his hand. Anyway, read!

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

You sat on a chair, staring at Klaus and that girl that is currently too close to him. You wanted to push her away so badly, to hold Klaus and drag him away, but you weren't his girlfriend, and you probably never would be with the way he's falling for literally every girl who's not you, starting with Isadora and now Fiona. Getting up, you walked to the chambers that Fiona gave you to sleep and found your journal, right on top of your bed.

Before Uncle Monty's horrible death, you and him got pretty close and you told him about your love for writing, so he gave you one of his empty journals and told you to write every once in a while and come show him. You never got to show him a single one.

Picking up the pen that you always put on the notebook, you started to write angrily, your hand moving so fast the ink becam sligthly smudged.

Why is Klaus touching her so much, being touched by her so much? I should be the one clinging to him, okaying and helping him with his ideas, touching his arm, smiling at him, kissing him. The idea of Fiona and him makes me sick. Why should she and her stupid submarine come and steal Klaus away? But, if he really likes her, I'll go along, I'll smile when they say they're dating, giggle at every time she makes him flustered, and I'll cry at there wedding, although the tears will not be ones of joy. When they have their first kid, I'll hold them happily, smiling at how they have his eyes, his beautiful, shining, kind, intelligent eyes that I could lose myself in, and I have. And I'll cry myself to sleep every night, alone because I can't imagine myself with anyone else but him.

You finished writing, pen ink slightly staining your palms and fingertips. Reading over what you just wrote, a sense of dread and disgust filled you. How could you write this about another person? Without another thought, you ripped the page out, crumpling it and throwing it somewhere it would not be seen for hopefully a long time.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Frowning, you were lost in your own mind, drowning in your thoughts as Violet talked about something to do with the machinery. "...what do you think, Y/N?" You look up, confused. "O-oh, yeah, sure!" She looked at you with a stange look. "I just asked you if you'd eat glue with apples? What's wrong Y/N?" Sighing, you sat up straight. "Nothing, just... do you think that Klaus likes Fiona?"

You saw the gears turning in her head before she smiled, and you immediatley regreted your question as she started speaking. "You like Klaus!" The way you looked away from her said everything she needed to know. "Y/N, you should tell him!" "Do you see the way he smiles around her? I don't stand a chance!" You frowned, thinking about Klaus and Fiona. Violet smiled kindly, taking your hands in hers. "I'm gonna be honest with you, my brother is not always the brightest when it comes to love. I think he'll accept you."

"Accept you for what?" You looked up quickly, and saw Klaus holding a book and a... crumpled piece of paper? Thankfully, Fiona wasn't around him for once. "Y/N has something she wants so ask you." You gave Violet a glare, but she just smirked and waited for you to speak. "I u-um, wanted to ask you... where Sunny is! Yeah, I n-need to see Sunny..." Klaus gave you a funny look, a look in his eyes that you couldn't quite decipher, and said, "She's just in the kitchen, helping out." Getting up quickly, you gave Klaus a kiss on the cheek as a thank you, and walked to the kitchen, still pondering what Violet said. You always gave him a hug or kiss on the cheek, but that one was different. You tried to convey all your feelings in it, even though he wouldn't be able to tell.

Taste testing Sunny's food will make you feel better.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A whole bunch of stuff had happened in a suprisingly short amount of time, and long story short, you were about to escape Count Olaf for the umptenth time in the Queequeg with Sunny, Klaus and Violet, and Fiona was leaving to follow her brother, which was the hook-handed man who was an associate of Count Olaf. All the information was making your head spin, but you didn't need to focus on that right now.

Klaus was trying to convice Fiona to stay, and you honestly were not as happy as you thought she would be at her leave. As he grabbed her arm, she leaned in for a kiss, which you could see from a mile away, but what you weren't expecting, was for Klaus to turn his face, so it was only a kiss on the cheek. Fiona left, Klaus having a solemn look on his face.

As Violet powered on the submarine and you were putting down Sunny, Klaus took your arm and dragged you to an empty room. You looked up at him in confusion, gasping softly as he pushed you down on a chair in the room, and as you stared at his face, you still couldn't tell what he was feeling.

He took out a piece of paper, it slightly crumpled, but you could still see the writing, and as you squinted slightly, you realized it was yours. Oh crap.

"Y/N, do you know what this is?" He said, holding it in front of you. "A-a piece of paper?" You muttered soflty, not wanting to actually say what it was, even though you knew exactly what it was, and who wrote it. "Don't play dumb with me Y/N." Under his glare, your head fell down as you looked at a "very" interesting stain on the floor. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for anyone to see it, especially not you... I just wrote it while I was angry, it doesn't mean anything!" You rushed to explain yourself, still scared to look him in the eye.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, and you worked up the courage to look up at him. He was... smiling? Suddenly, laughter bubbled out of his chest, and he was giggling. Ok, what the hell?

"D-do you seriously think I would ditch you for a lady I just met?" He chuckled. "...maybe." He pulled you up into a hug. "Y/N, I have known you for almost my whole life. I could never. ...and I might have a slight crush on you as well." You grinned, blushing. Maybe your feelings weren't one-sided after all.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

a/n: when i tell u i hate this so much. ill just post it.