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#so...i guess it makes sense that it looks like shit on my computer????? D:
faintlyof · 1 year
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Oh ew, I just noticed that the the -whole- bar that has a persons url in it in reblogs now takes you to their page. and also the whole thing highlights on hover.
was clicking/tapping the letters too difficult? like now im going to accidentally be opening randos blogs up constantly. which also, yeah, if im clicking on the persons blog from within the reblog, i want to see the POST on THEIR blog, im not here to fuck around and scroll back for 20 years trying to find it just because i need to cut someone out of the reblog chain before i send it to a friend???
and if i get to the post and then want to see their blog, easy. click home or whatever theyve called their main page or whatever
but like ive already accidentally opened like 5 different blogs and its been like 2 minutes,im tired
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astramachina · 3 months
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OC posting? On main?
I was gonna say "more likely than you think" as if that hasn't been 50% of my deal lately. Anyway, came across a cute picrew and wanted to show off some of the original characters from Driving Through Tunnels (With No Light at the End) now that we've been introduced to most of the auto shop team!
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ricky (top left)
Jenny (top right)
Roger (bottom left)
Dean (bottom right)
(listen I tried my best to deliver "late 90s" but there's only so many choices when it comes picrew)
Some character rambles under the cut!
Ricky Kronbach - the man, the myth, the legend. Hardly needs an introduction since he's our main guy. Ran into some trouble, stole a conspicuous purple car because of it, and because he could neither afford a new car or a paint job, he tried to proposition Roger in exchange for said paint job. Instead, Ricky got a crash course on how to fix cars, a decent job, and a somewhat stable life in his home state of Minnesota. As of 1998, he's the newest mechanic to join the team. He's a bit of a prodigy when it comes to technology, having gone to university (and then expelled for unsavory reasons) for computer engineering. How that managed to translate to an uncanny ability to fix anything remotely mechanical that he touches is beyond anyone's guess. Ricky's a bit of a sour apple, but no one can really blame him. He plays things close to the vest, and someone must be at least a LVL 50 friend in order to unlock his tragic past.
Jenny - the token girl mechanic at the auto shop, but none of the guys look down at her for it. She can and she will bench press an SUV with her scrawny little arms, and she will also crash people's place whenever they're feeling down with pizza and a six pack. A single child, she's lived a pretty sheltered life. Her parents wanted her to be either a lawyer or a doctor, but ever since she was 5 she would collect Hot Wheels alongside her impressive number of "career" Barbies. She signed up for one class during high school and it was over: there was nothing she wanted more than to work on cars. Jenny's a little put off by Ricky at first since the guy kind of materialized out of nowhere one day, but she soon realized how committed he was to learning the ropes. During his first year at the shop she tended to keep her distance, fraternizing only during Bowling Thursdays, but when weird stuff starts to happen and Ricky begins to grow agitated, she self-appoints herself as Ricky's BFF. Surprisingly, they click extremely well.
Roger - being a man of morals, he saw a desperate kid on the run fighting to survive and he gave him a wrench, the couch in the shop office, and a bite to eat. Jersey accent? Thick. Eyebrows? Thicker. A bit of a hardass at work, but a caring family man when it's time to close up his shop for the day. He's 5'2" and will not hesitate to throw down with someone a foot taller than him if they act stupid. Hardly ever smokes, but will pull out a cigarette when shit gets a little dicey. He's a pretty lenient boss when his mechanics are going through it, and he tends to keep it professional while on the lot, unwilling to overstep. But being older means he's world-weary, and seeing a face he remembers from the news haunting Ricky, a young man no older than his oldest son, he will try to keep tabs on him and make sure he's okay.
Dean - senior mechanic nearly a decade older than Ricky and loves to rub it in his face. So far the most tech-savviest of them all, and also the nerdiest. He's scatterbrained and a gossip, his improv game is off the charts (which makes him a hit at D&D tables), and will try to get beetles to unionize given the chance. His fashion sense is only rivaled by Jenny's, which usually leads to Roger griping at him that, yes, he has to wear his overalls when hitting the bays. Yes, Roger is well aware that he's not the one buying Dean's clothes but for the love of God, kid, think of how much you can save by not getting motor oil all over those fancy threads. Though he might hold his age over Ricky (and Ricky thinks that might just be because Dean sucks at bowling), and is a firm believer in having co-workers be co-workers and nothing more, Dean has and will extend an olive branch in the case where he is needed. In fact, he's lost at least one mobile phone because he lent it to Ricky prior to a mysterious excursion, but he's never asked questions. Dean's been around the block enough times to know when not to ask questions, and he knows when people need to stick together.
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heygutlcssa · 2 years
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friendly reminder that tumblr savior and other blacklisting extensions exist. also the block button exists. its a shame that the dashboard is in an upstart tonight over something really stupid.
You know what it boils down to? CONSENT.
Here’s the thing my guys-- YOU DO NOT HAVE TO MAKE AN EXCUSE FOR A SINGLE THING YOU WRITE. JUST TAG YOUR SHIT ACCORDINGLY.
This gives everyone else the chance to give informed consent as to whether or not they want to read the shit you write. Because again that’s what all this drama boils down to: CONSENT.
And here’s the thing about fictional characters my loves. THEY CANNOT GIVE CONSENT BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REAL. 
YOU THE READER ARE REAL. YOU HOLD ALL THE CONSENT TO READ OR NOT TO READ. IF YOU DO NOT CONSENT THEN DON’T READ IT AND MOVE THE FUCK ON. the block button is there for a reason. Blacklisting tools to block those tags exist for a reason.
the whole purity thing and policing what people should and should not write is pretty 2008 and no one likes a pearl clutcher. This pearl clutching and purity policing really comes down to readers denying or disguising (and sometimes even both) their own agency and consent to promote their own agenda.
“writing smut or sex with underage characters and aging them up is wrong because they can’t give consent” THEY CAN’T GIVE CONSENT BECAUSE THEY AREN’T REAL. THEY ARE FICTIONAL. Even if they are 18+ ( a consenting adult across the US federal law) THEY CANNOT CONSENT BECAUSE THEY ARE FICTIONAL. they do not exist. They are not real.
an ant’s left butt cheek can give more consent than a fictional character because IT EXISTS.
the ongoing argument that stemmed tonight’s drama isn’t about defending the rights and consent of the fictional characters mentioned, its about “ this sort of writing shouldn’t be allowed”.
And this argument is shit. Take away the camouflage and the coverup and the victim blaming and what you really have is a real living person behind a computer screen saying “ I do not consent to this and i am not comfortable with my own personal agency”.
a person who has the critical  and comprehensive thinking skills can look at writing or an rp blog and say “ huh, this is something that i do not consent to. This makes me uncomfortable. this doesn’t seem like my kind of thing” and can just keep on scrolling.
A person who is not comfortable  or confident with their own personal agency goes through this in-depth thought process in response to what they have read:
-I do not consent to read this. - I do not feel that I am in a safe enough space to withhold my consent. - i feel unsafe. - i need to be protected. - i can’t make it about my feelings, because i am not allowed to. - a sense of displacement takes place --> Others need to be protected. --This should not be allowed.
Take for example, someone walking into a movie theater and saying “ i don’t like horror movies.” and walks into a showing of a horror movie and says “ This is so harmful to viewers why are they showing this!”
There’s a rating system for a reason. You don’t have to go into that movie. Just keep walking.
Lastly my guys... PEOPLE ARE INTO WEIRD SHIT. In real life, with real people, consent is a super huge deal. and guess what, that’s why people have active and open conversations about consent, boundaries, empathy, and an understanding  towards power differentials. Its in the news. its in school. We are in an era where these kinds of conversations are socially expectable. Pearl clutching recedes this.
In fiction you can do whatever the hell you want. Some people actually like how it makes them feel because it is not real. it can be experienced within the safety of fiction.
going back to the horror movie analogy who am i to tell Stephen King to not write horror because it could make me uncomfortable? Lots of people like it. He’s won awards for is writing.
 and people still pearl clutch saying things about  weird fiction in general  like “ but it will normalize rape and pedophilia!! people will think its okay!”
do you think seeing a sewer clown murdering children is going to make a fan go out and do that? unless there’s some severe mental health issue, i think not.
Now for the pearl clutcher who decided to start all this shit...
YOU’RE CONSENT DOES MATTER. YOU ARE ALLOW TO NOT LIKE WHAT PEOPLE WRITE. JUST DON’T MAKE IT ABOUT SOME GRAND MORAL JUSTICE OF THE UNIVERSE. YOU CAN SAY “ UM YEAH NO THANKS NOT FOR ME” AND KEEP ON SCROLLING. Worry about your own shit my guy.
That’s why Rpers stress to tag their shit. and I can say hands down that the things you clutch your pearls about were 100% tagged. just keep moving. use tumblr savior. use that block button.
but don’t start shit. it ain’t fun. it ain’t nice.  There’s that one quote by oscar wilde “ give a man a mask and he’ll show you his true self.” the internet is one hell of a mask and you are exposing yourself.
and I’m gonna scroll on by. i do not consent to participating any further in your mess. Not my circus. Not my monkeys.
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moonunitjackie · 14 days
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[sticks w/o stones]
Track 2 | LUNCH by Billie Eilish
                  “Wow you really like skeeball.”
                  Niki flinched. “I dunno about that.”
                  “Look at your score!” Rachel was trailing a full 1000pts behind Niki. “I’m struggling!”
                  Niki could feel her cheeks heat up. “I bowl a lot.”
                  “Does that help with skeeball?”
                  Niki shrugged. “I dunno. I always play this game a lot.”
                  Rachel giggled. “You’re funny.”
                  “If you say so, home unit.”
                  “I do,” Rachel tossed her next and final skeeball. Another miss. “Oh well.”
                  “Do you wanna play something else?”
                  “I’m good either way though I am kinda hungry now that ya mention it.”
                  “Same, fam.”
                  The barcade’s menu was fairly standard as those things go, but they served Cuban sandwiches which was all Niki cared about. Rachel opted for the jumbo slice of extra cheesy pizza instead.
                  “So do you, like, have you bowled in a league?” Rachel asked in between her first and second bites.
                  “Nah,” Niki munched on some of the potato chips that came as a side. “Ty tried to talk me into joining one with him once back in high school but I’m, like, ninety-percent sure he was just joking.”
                  “Really?”
                  “Yeah.” Niki took a bite from her sandwich. Niki had a wiry frame but Rachel was impressed by how quickly Niki could put away food. Half of the sandwich was already gone while Rachel was taking her time with the oversized slice of pizza. “Even if he wasn’t, I’m just not that into bowling to do it competitively.”
                  “That makes sense.”  Rachel said with a slight nod. “Just not the competitive type?”
                  “Hm.” Niki inhaled another quarter of the sandwich before continuing. “I guess so? Except for Mario Kart. That shit’s intense.”
                  Rachel giggled, taking a sip of her light beer. “Yeah. I may have broken a controller or two in college cause of that game.”
                  There was a ghost of a smile on Niki’s lips but it didn’t linger. Rachel was busy sipping her beer and didn’t catch it. “Damn. That much of a sore loser?”
                  “No, no!” Another giggle. “I just always get fucked up in the last lap, usually by that fucker Luigi.”
                  “Oh? Who was playin’ him?”
                  “No one,” Rachel shook her head. A few strands of her brown hair fell loose from the ponytail she put up before eating. “I only ever get Luigi’d when it’s the computer controlling him.”
                  “Heh.” Niki’s tongue slipped between her teeth briefly. “Sounds like my relationship with Roy. That assholes always goes after me, I swear!”
                  “I’ll believe it!” Rachel’s smile was hard to miss.
Niki tried not to stare too much or too obviously.
After lunch Rachel & Niki walked between the sprialling labyrinth of arcade cabinets. It was the middle of a Tuesday so there wasn’t much of a crowd. The relative emptiness of the barcade -save for about four or five other people at any given time- gave the whole experience a far more intimate feel, an entire universe of flashing screens and digital sounds just for the two of them, it felt like a…
“Oh hell yeah!”
Rachel was shaken from her reverie by Niki’s mastery of the Initial D game’s drift mechanic.
“Still got it.” Niki leaned back triumphantly in the plastic facsimile of a driver’s bucket seat.
“Is there any game here you’re not good at here?” Rachel’s smile spread to her eyes.
“Pretty much just this and skeeball,” Niki flexed her shoulders; she was beginning to feel the previous week’s worth of work catch up with her. “I used to kick everyone’s ass at this game back in the day.”
“Looks like you still do,” Rachel nodded, impressed.
Niki turned her neck sharply followed by a sickening crunch. Rachel flinched. Niki repeated the maneuver in the opposite direction. Another flinch. Rachel wasn’t a fan of when anyone -even Niki- cracked parts of their body.
“Fuck I think I’m spent for the day.”
With a slow nod Rachel murmured “Sounds like it.”
Niki looked up at Rachel who suddenly realized she was hovering over the smaller girl. Rachel slouched her tense shoulders and took a step and a half back. “I can watch you play something if you wanna keep playing games.”
Rachel gave a polite shake of her head. “No, I think I’m spent too.”
“…fuck!”
Rachel was breathless though not for lack of effort. Niki lay beside her equally straining to breathe. Both of their bodies were weary with pleasure and caked with sweat.
“How are you feeling?”
Rachel looked over at Niki, into the deep dark waters of her eyes. (Fuck, I could get lost in those eyes…) “I feel…amazing. That…was amazing. You’re…”
“Amazing?” Niki’s tongue darted between her teeth teasingly. That same tongue that only minutes ago sent Rachel’s entire body into ecstatic convulsions. Twice. She still felt the occasional aftershock rattle her legs here and there.
“Fuck. Yeah,” was all Rachel could manage.
“Good!” Niki lipped her lips where she still tasted Rachel’s climax lingering. “You were even better.”
Rachel’s already flushed face burned brighter, blushing. A giggle was stuck in the back of her throat. “I haven’t…” Rachel shook her head. She was still dizzy with pleasure and couldn’t think straight.
“Haven’t what?” Niki’s lips curled into a teasing smile.
A whine escaped from Rachel’s lips. “Nevermind.”
“What?” Niki propped herself up on her elbow. The sheet fell leaving her torso exposed. Rachel couldn’t help but stare at Niki’s small but perky breasts, her inviting darkly tinted nipples.
With a weak but satisfied smile Rachel managed “I need to catch my breath first.”
“Oki.” Niki leaned forward, slowly and tenderly pressing her thin -but oh so sweet- lips against Rachel’s fuller, puffier pair. “I’ll go get us some water.” She pulled herself up and moved towards the edge of the bed. Rachel’s arm snaked out, latching onto Niki’s wrist. Niki looked back at Rachel’s blissful face. “Hm?”
“Sorry.” Rachel blushed, again. (Goddammit, those eyes!) “Just, I really don’t want you to leave just yet.”
Niki nodded slightly, slowly. “I understand.” She reached down and unlatched Rachel’s fingers from her wrist. Rachel was too exhausted to protest. “But I’ll be right back.” She smiled -sweetly & comforting- before planting another, deeper kiss on Rachel’s expectant, still-hungry lips. “Then you have me for the rest of the night.”
“Can I have you in the morning, too?”
Niki nodded. “Uh huh.” Another kiss.
“And after?”
“For as long as you want,” Niki kissed Rachel again but this time on her forehead.
“Heard,” Rachel breathlessly grinned, satisfied.
Niki flashed a shining smile with those crooked little fangs Rachel couldn’t get enough of. “Be right back, princess!”
(Princess)
Rachel loved how the word felt in her blissed-out ears. It soothed her racing mind. It wasn’t the word itself Rachel would realize later when her full faculties returned, but the fact the word came from Niki’s talented tongue, her sweet lips. It was a word Rachel later learned belonged to herself and no one else.
She was Niki’s princess.
And Rachel didn’t want to be anything else.
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bots-and-cons · 2 years
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Idk if there already is an 🦿anon but if not here i am
We need some dark shit with no happy ending. I was thinking like bots are visiting earth and find out their charge died from cancer but before passing they made a little goodbye video for bots especially their guardian.
I thought it would look better as a scenario but if its easier for you the please do hcs
For the bots i really wanted to read our grumpy medic, OP and wheeljack
Youre an amazing writer idk how are you doing this
Keep up the amazing work❤
I sort of did this for Jackie a while back, you can find that post here, so I won't be writing it again. I tried to give this a darker ending, and not a kind of hopeful one like I usually would. Also thank you very much and hello leg anon :D
~Optimus Prime~
You had been diagnosed a few months after the autobots had left earth and you really wanted to tell Optimus, but you had no way of doing so. You had been given approximately a year to live, and you held out hope for seeing him until your very last moments.
When Optimus returned to earth after over two and half years on Cybertron, he was contacted by Fowler, who gave him a memory stick, telling Optimus you had asked him to give it to him. Optimus of course wondered why you couldn’t just give it to him yourself, but the reason was about to become very clear to him.
He tried to call you, but the number apparently was not in use anymore, which he just explained away with you changing your number.
When he couldn’t contact you, he decided to see what was on the memory stick. He plugged it into the old base computer, and a window popped up with a loading icon.
You appeared on screen, and the video started playing.
“Hey Optimus!” you said with a bit of a forcefully chipper demeanor. “I wonder if you’ll ever actually see this, or if you’ll come back before… Well I guess I should explain why I’m making this first” your smile started to fade as you continued talking to the camera. “I was diagnosed with MBC. That stands for metastatic breast cancer and to be totally honest, I’m going to die from it and probably quite soon”
Optimus paused the video. He was well aware this wasn’t a joke, you wouldn’t do that, you weren’t that kind of person, but he also couldn’t see how this could be real. He decided to continue the video.
“I decided to film this for you, and maybe for myself too, to make sense of this whole dying thing. It doesn’t feel real, I mean I can feel my body basically decaying, but it’s like I still haven’t accepted what that means. I wanted to tell you I miss you and I hope to see you before I’m gone. I also want to be honest with you, I hated you for a while after my diagnosis, because you weren’t here and I felt so damn alone” you turned away from the camera a bit and wiped your eyes. 
Optimus was filled with grief and confusion. He was also angry at himself, for not leaving you a way to contact him. There was a small pause before you continued.
“Anyway I’ve come to terms with that I guess, I just still don’t understand how this whole thing can have such bad timing. If I was going to die anyway, I’d rather it had been with you and the rest of the team here” you started having a hard time with keeping yourself together.
“There are so many things I wanted to tell you, but now that I’m actually doing this, not a single one comes to mind. I guess it’s just time for me to say goodbye” you waved at the camera and the video stopped on you with a small smile on your face and eyes closed with some tears brimming in your eyes.
That was the last Optimus saw of you. You were dead now and he would never see you again.
Optimus hadn’t even noticed how weak the whole situation had made him feel, before he was suddenly on his knees on the floor, holding onto the edge of the computer screen. He felt weak and his spark felt like it was about to explode out of his chest. Above all he felt empty, he felt like a part of him had been ripped away, someone he had held so dear, his friend, was gone and there was nothing that could change that.
~Ratchet~
You didn’t really know how to start the video. You didn’t really feel like explaining the whole thing to someone again. So you were just going to make it short and to the point.
“Hey Ratch. I’m just gonna keep this short. I’m dying and I don’t have much time left, so I just wanted to tell you some things. First of all, you’ll always be dear to me, no matter where I end up or what happens to me. Second of all, I know you’re gonna feel guilty about not being here with me in my last moments, but you shouldn’t. No one knows when shit like this is gonna happen so, there’s no reason for you to feel bad about it. I mean yeah, dying sucks, but there’s nothing I can do about it. So, goodbye Ratchet, take care of yourself”
The video ended and the screen went black. Ratchet was left feeling all kinds of things, but mostly he felt broken, like a piece of him had broken into a million smaller pieces that were impossible to pick up and put back together again. He had lost friends before, but it  was due to war, there had been a reason for their deaths. For you, it was some illness that you had no chance of winning against, you had nothing to fight against, no war to win. 
There was no one else around while Ratchet watched the video, so there was no one to see him completely break down over it. The tears were streaming down his face and he was sobbing, trying to keep his voice down, covering his mouth with his hand, so nobody would hear him. He didn’t want anyone seeing him like this, he didn’t want their pity or to hear how sorry they were about his loss. That wouldn’t bring you back.
Sure you had been friends with the other team members too, but your relationship with Ratchet had been different, you were like family to each other. Your memory would live on with him, long after you were gone and he would always remember you.
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harleysarchive · 4 years
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Among You and Me - Corpse Husband x reader oneshot
Fandom: Corpse Husband, youtubers Warning: Swearing, me being in a good mood when I wrote it so a happy, positive reader, alcohol, hangovers, comfidence boost Pairing: Corspe x reader Summary: You got some extra confidence after having a couple of drinks and write a message to Corpse during his live stream, he answeres you messages and everything continues from there.
Next >
A/N: I was in a super good mood when I started to write this and it shows, I’m sorry if it’s annoying and I don’t know if it’s shit but yeaah. Enjoy! :D
You were watching Corpse Husbands stream among us and was just having a good time. You had had a couple of drinks before the stream so you were in such a great mood. You melted every time he laughed because he couldn’t do the card swipe and just thought of how adorable he was. In your intoxicated mindset you got a confidence boost and opened the stream chat and also instagram. In the stream chat you donated 10$ and wrote “you are the most adorable person on this planet and you deserve the world! Thank you for exciting, love y/n” and hit enter, and also doing the same on Instagram on private messages.
He won’t see that, you thought to yourself and turned on some music to match your good mood and after a while forgetting about your stream that was on. Some days life is just great!
You had fallen asleep and woke up with a hangover, all the positive feelings you had yesterday were gone and now you just wanted to stay in bed all there with some aspirins. Looking at your phone seeing that nothing interesting had happened. You were scrolling through your feed on instagram and saw that you had an unanswered message. You opened it and saw that it was from Corpse.
You flew up in your bed and were staring at your phone.
I can’t believe he answered me, you said. Your hands were shaking and you were too nervous to open the message. Maybe he was annoyed with you for messaging him. Nooo he seems like a nice guy so I don’t think he is.
You opened the message and it read:
“Thank you for your kind words! I saw your donation and the message, means a lot 🖤”
You buried your face into the pillow and screamed for all that you were worth. He answered. You also felt ridiculous for reacting like this but there is no hindering the fangirl when she is out.
Your fingers were shaking but you wanted to reply so badly.
“Thank you! I can’t believe that you actually answered or noticed my message, it made my day honestly. Can’t wait for more content from you!” You hit send and left the bed. You had things to do today and if you were home you were only going to look at your phone all day to see if he would answer you. So to not get tempted you left your phone at home.
You came back to your apartment in the afternoon and we’re dying to check your messages. So you unlocked your phone and went straight to messages. Nothing. You felt a pang of disappointment but you tried to not dwell on it. He had probably many girls messaging him how much they love him and so on. You went to the kitchen and started to cook some dinner. But when you were preparing some vegetables you got a ding from your phone. You went over and saw that you had a message on Instagram. From Corpse. Your heart first stopped and then sped up like crazy. He answered you again! Wtf?!
“That's so kind of you to say, thank you! There will be a new stream tomorrow :)”
“Omg I’m gonna die” you said. Well if you died now you would be okay with it because you had been noticed by Corpse not once but twice.
“Yay can’t wait! I will be glued to the screen!” You answered and immediately felt embarrassed by your response.
Two days later you were waiting for the stream to begin. You had bought some of your favorite ice-cream in honor for tonight. The stream started and you heard Corpse say multiple times that he was super nervous and a shitty impostor. You felt your heart melt for him, he is so sweet and precious. You donated money to him and wrote “you don’t have to be nervous, you are doing great! It’s super entertaining! Love y/n” and hit send. You saw your donation in the chat.
“”you don’t have to be nervous, you are doing great! It’s super entertaining! Love (y/n)” thank you (y/n), that means a lot to hear right now. And I remember your picture from Instagram. Nice to see that you are watching the stream.”
The ice-cream you were about to eat dropped to the floor and you just sat there with an open mouth. He remembered your picture. HE FUCKING REMEMBERED YOUR PICTURE!
The rest of the stream was a fog in your memory because you were still stuck on the moment that he remembered you from your profile picture. Nothing could top that. Nothing. When the stream ended you turned of your computer and were of to bed. But there was no way in hell that you were going to fall alseep after something like that. Your phone lit up again and you saw that you had a new message from instagram. You opened up the app and it was from Corpse!
“I hope you liked the stream today :)” he wrote and again your heart raced like crazy. 
“I did it was super entertaining to watch! I think you are an incredible impostor.” you hit send. Not long after you got a reply.
“Thanks, I am very nervous during the streams and I hope that is not annoying or it bothering those who are watching it.”
“Not at all, well at least for me. I think it makes you more genuine when you confess that you can get nervous even though you are a big youtuber 😊”
 “Well I’m not a big youtuber... but it’s nice to read all your kind words in the chat. It makes me happy.”
“I’m glad that we can help you feel better, and I mean every word I’m sending you.”
You saw that he started to reply, but you had to go to sleep so you turn off the phone and closed your eyes. Surprisingly enough you fell asleep quite quickly, and woke up by the sun hitting your face. Fall has jsut begun and the leaves were turning every beautiful colour of red, yellow and orange. When you brain had woken up more you remembered that Corpse had started to reply to your message. You quickly grabbed your phone and went on instagram. A new message, 8 hours ago. 
Shit, you thought and opened it. It was just a smiley face and nothing else. A little disappointed but then you saw the conversation that the two of you had had. You actually talked to him and he had replied instantly. Your brain must’ve given you some weird confidence and stable fingers at that moment. You didn’t really know what to reply so you just let it be and you didn’t want to annoy him with spamming his dm’s either - but you really, really wanted to.
Corpse POV.
Another day and another sleepless night. That is just my life right now. But the streams helped them make it a little less agonizing. Especially the nice comments I get from everyone and the conversation I had with one of the fans. What was her name again? (Y/N). Right. I wonder if she has answered my message.
I opened up instagram and opened our conversation. Read but no answer. To be fair I only sent a smiley to her. But... Why am I feeling so anxious that she left me on read?
“Yooo, care to hang out today?” Dave sent a message. I answered with a sure and locked my phone and waited for Dave to arrive to my house. But my mind kept on going back to why she didn’t answer me back. Well I know why, but I didn’t like that the conversation were over so quick. 
Dave entered my house and we hung out for a while but he could sense that something was bothering me.
“Hey man, you okay?”
I snapped out of my thought and looked at him. 
“Yeah, I’m fine. Except from the usual shit.”
“You sure? You seem a little... lost in thoughts perhaps? Is something bothering you?”
I took a deep breath and shook my head.
“Not even the kind girl from your streams?” he asked with a knowing smirk on his face. I lost all the colour on my face. HOW DID HE KNOW?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?”
“Not even that you recognized her picture from instagram? Like that you haven’t talked to her there?”
Fuck...
“Who is she?”
“A fan that contacted me and were very kind with her words. And I replied to her and after that we have been messaging each other here and there... but she left me on read last night so I guess that’s over...”
“What did you say to her?”
“I sent a smiley because I was too nervous to say anything else.”
Dave made the biggest and loudest face palm. It must’ve hurt his head. 
“You idiot... You can’t expect a reply if you only send her a smiley...”
“I know, but I got nervous.”
“Are you following her?”
“No... Not yet at least.” I said and took up my phone again and went on her profile. It was private. Of course. I hoovered over the follow button but I didn’t dare to press it. Dave gave me a thumbs up and I pressed the follow button. 
Your POV.
You were watching a Among Us highlight video on youtube when your instagram told you that you had a notification. You opened it and saw that Corpse had requested an invite to follow your profile. CORPSE WANTED TO FOLLOW YOU. Holyshitholyshitholyshit. What is even happening?! Of course you accepted it and you started to type a message to him. 
“Welcome to my little boring world. Hope you like what you see 😅”
You could see him typing something.
“I very much do ;)”
A/N: I really enjoyed writing this and I couldn’t stop. It was difficult to get started but after that it was fun :D 
TAGS:
@fanworrior @wibblytimey
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agapaic · 3 years
Text
[19 days] whiplash [ch. 365 after-shot]
The shop will be closing soon. He’s seen an attendant wandering around, who will probably ask him to leave in the next five minutes. There’s no one else here. His clothes are vivid against the neon glow of the tanks. The fish cast strange shadows on his shirt, living out a second life on his skin.
They swim in half-circles before sharply changing direction, never touching the glass. He wonders if they know it’s there, as if they can sense some immovable wall that holds them back.
He’s not getting deep about this. He could contemplate, quite extensively, about how their freedom must be bought by some higher power, and they would really only go from one tank to the next, slightly bigger, slightly richer. It’s all fake shit, and he remembers that in some ways he’s got it better than an animal. He can, at least, run away. Maybe he won’t get far. Just to the edges of the city villages where he’ll get a job earning less than before and lose his place in school.
Guan Shan puts a finger on the glass in front of him. There’s a label in the corner, peeling away from the glass. Veiltail goldfish. They have wispy, membrane-like tails. He could put his hand on the other side and see all the way through. Guan Shan watches the only black fish in the tank move placidly through the water.
Beneath the label, a smaller one: Black moor. For a minute he considers tugging the label off and putting it in his pocket, a little secret. He remembers that would be stealing, in some way, and someone in the shop would have to go to the effort of printing and laminating and reapplying the label just for one fish.
Guan Shan turns away.
He wanders for a few more minutes. He’s aware of his reflection in the glass. He worries about how long the attendant will let him stay there, and the thought that they will make him leave makes him feel slightly sick. He likes it here—the quiet, the muted hum of the tanks, the strange lights. They make him feel somewhere else.
His mother is working the night shift and won’t be home until just before he’s meant to go to school the next morning. They’ll have long enough together that he could tell her he got fired from the shop, but not long enough that he could reasonably pretend to have forgotten as he tugs on his uniform and slips out the front door.
She won’t be mad—she never is.
She can’t take on another shift.
Mentally, he has started taking stock. His Xbox is a few years old, but he’ll get something for it. He has a stack of old music magazines from his dad that could catch the eye of a collector. His computer, maybe.
The earrings.
His stomach twists.
Really, it’s not much. It’ll earn them a month, which could be just long enough for him to get another job, but what’s the likelihood of that in a city where most kids are just trying to bulk their CV’s for their college applications. Besides, his grades speak for themselves. He got lucky with the shop, and lightning doesn’t strike twice.
‘Hey, kid. We’re closing soon, so unless you wanna buy something…’
Guan Shan nods. His shoulders round.
For no logical reason, he says: ‘Can I take a goldfish?’
‘Sure. The black moor? Saw you had your eye on that one.’
‘No, one of the others.’
The attendant comes up next to him. ‘Just the one? They don’t like being on their own, you know.’
He presses his jaw tightly. A small sound comes out of him. He looks at the price tag and is somehow shocked and saddened to see the figure so low.
‘Fine,’ he says. ‘The black one, too, I guess.’
He pays, then leaves. It’s late enough that the streets are quieter than he expected. He’s usually home by now, his shift over, reheating leftovers while he works on his homework. He stands there while the shop attendant locks up behind him, holding the plastic bag with two fish in his hand. He feels stupid. Behind his eyes, he can feel a sort of stinging sensation.
He has the unnameable urge to grab one of the passing strangers and tell them how he’s feeling, what has happened, what could happen. On some level he knows that everyone has their own problems, and he’s not the type of person to overstep his bounds. Instead, he watches them pass, and after a few more minutes he goes to the nearest subway station and gets the train home.
/
He had half expected He Tian to find him on the street. He’d imagined it, He Tian catching his arm as he wandered from store to store, deliberating at large windows with thin mannequins and expensive jewellery without price tags. There is a part of him that’s disappointed that it didn’t play out like this, a part of him that is even angrier to find He Tian sitting in the stairwell of his apartment when he eventually does get home.
It’s close to midnight, and the stairwell is clinically quiet. Outside, the stars are dusty and covered in a thin layer of smog that is less noticeable in the day. He Tian looks exhausted. He’s the type of good looking where even the slightest imperfection somehow makes him even more attractive. Guan Shan hates it.
He stands when Guan Shan walks in, suddenly filling the space, and Guan Shan says, ‘Get outta my way.’
‘Where have you been?’
Guan Shan shoulders past him. There’s a moment where he thinks He Tian will grab him around the shoulders, the air around him simmering enough that Guan Shan is convinced it’s a near thing, choking with danger, but he lets him pass. He follows Guan Shan up the staircase, his footsteps silent, his body casting long shadows on the steps where Guan Shan sets his feet.
At the door, Guan Shan pockets the notice that’s taped there, knowing He Tian has already seen it. Less sharply, he picks up the notes in He Tian’s and Jian Yi’s writing and folds them into careful squares.
‘You’re not comin’ in,’ he says.
‘I called you, like, fifty times. Did you block me?’
Guan Shan thinks He Tian sounds angrier than he really has a right to be. He turns and presses his back to the door. He has his keys clenched tightly in a closed fist.
‘Yeah. I didn’t want to talk to you. I thought you would’ve gotten that.’
‘I can get you another job. Something better paid.’
‘You’re so fuckin’ clueless.’
He Tian’s eyes tighten.
‘You’re ruining my life,’ says Guan Shan.
‘That’s—that isn’t true. I’ve helped you. You would’ve been expelled if—’
‘Maybe I would’ve gotten expelled. But I wouldn’t have had She Li on my dick all the time, would I? Wouldn’t need you to get me a job ‘cause you made me lose my last one, would I? You’re just—stickin’ a bandage on shit when you hurt me first.’
‘It’s not always like that. Don’t make it sound like it’s always like that.’
Guan Shan shakes his head. ‘I want you to go. I told you I didn’t want to see you again. Fuck off.’
He Tian says, ‘Let me pay what was on the door.’
‘Fuck off.’
He Tian doesn’t move and Guan Shan squeezes his eyes shut. He’s going to cry again, the frustration bubbling sourly in the back of his throat. He doesn’t trust himself to open the door while He Tian is still here because he knows he’ll probably let him in.
‘Do I really make you feel like a failure?’
Guan Shan rubs at his eyes with his fist. His voice comes hoarse and thick: ‘I am a failure. Bein’ around you just makes it so much more fuckin’ obvious.’
He doesn’t want He Tian’s pity when he says this, or his reassurance. He’s just being honest. Saying it out loud is kind of breathlessly relieving. He couldn’t say something like that to his mother, or any of the teachers at school. He couldn’t say it to Grey, who he’s known for years. He Tian knows more about him than anyone. It’s a terrifying thought.
If they never see each other again, will He Tian tell everyone the things Guan Shan has told him? About the restaurant and his dad, or about She Li and the things Guan Shan has let him do to him? He feels vulnerable and sick thinking about it, completely powerless, as he does a lot of the time when he’s around He Tian.
He oscillates between that feeling of uselessness and the feeling of being so empowered that he thinks it must be what being high or drunk feels like. That latter has him trusting his own convictions, having an unadulterated faith in himself like jumping from a bridge and thinking he might just fly—so long as He Tian is with him. He doesn’t like how it’s one or the other, empowered or powerless, and rarely anything in between. He’s heard adults on TV talking about being codependent, pulled punishingly into each other's orbit, and he wonders if this is the same thing.
In the end he supposes it doesn’t really matter. So what if He Tian tells everyone? Probably, he won’t see the rest of the year out at school. He’ll get a job on a different side of the city and no one will hear from him ever again. The embarrassment will all be internal and will only last a week or two. Then life will move on. He wishes he were older and wiser and better at believing this. He wishes it didn’t feel like the universe might fall out from beneath him.
‘Doesn’t matter what I do, it turns to shit,’ he tells He Tian. ‘No matter how hard I work, I’m never gonna earn enough. I can spend three hours studyin’ for a test and still come last. If it isn’t She Li, then it’ll be someone else. I just—I can’t catch a fuckin’ break, He Tian. But you do somethin’ and you come first every time. Life’s so easy for you.’
He Tian shifts from side to side. ‘Do you think things wouldn’t feel so hard if you stopped focussing on what you think my life is like?’
‘You’re pissin’ me off.’
‘I don’t know how I’m meant to help you. You won’t let me give you money. It’s like pulling teeth from you just trying to know what’s going on with you. What are you so fucking afraid of?’
‘I never asked for your help.’
‘You shouldn’t have to—that’s why we’re friends.’
‘I never said I wanted to be your friend.’
He Tian frowns, his look very serious. He isn’t teasing tonight. Neither is Guan Shan. There is the sense that their interactions are always anything but teasing, really, some dark undercurrent that runs between the two of them like dark veins.
He Tian says, ‘Are those fish?’
For a moment Guan Shan thinks he’s joking, deflecting wildly to distract from the seriousness of what Guan Shan has just said. Then he feels the crinkle of a plastic bag in his hand and, remembering how he’d just spent the last few hours, nearly drops the two goldfish onto the floor.
‘Yeah,’ he says.
‘You don’t have a tank.’
‘Yeah, no. I don’t know why I bought them.’
He Tian hesitates. There is a curious, predictable gleam in his eyes. ‘Red and black?’
‘It’s all they had left at the store.’
He Tian is looking intently at the bag. ‘Do you remember when we went to the aquarium? And you said I wasn’t someone you could forget?’
‘I just meant that—’
‘I know what you meant. But I always pretend like you meant it the other way.’
Guan Shan thinks, Don’t you think things would be easier if you stopped focusing on what you want me to mean and what I actually mean?
Instead of saying anything, he looks down at his sneakers. They’re scuffed and starting to rip at the seams. The thought of having to buy new ones makes him panic and the thought of buying a pair of second-hand ones online makes him panic even more. There’s no shame in it, but the thought of wearing someone else’s clothes makes him feel strange, especially when he knows He Tian could buy fifty pairs without blinking.
Guan Shan considers that thought and replays what He Tian has just said about focusing on his life too much more than his own. Maybe part of that is true.
Before He Tian, did he always feel things so intensely? Did the bad always feel so fucking awful? He knows that things were mechanical, and he was mean and didn’t think much about other people in particularly nice ways. He knows he didn’t laugh much then, or have dinners and sleepovers with friends. He knows everything hurt on a distant, muted level that was easy to ignore. Not much time has passed since then, and he reasons that nothing about him has probably changed, just everything else around him.
‘I can’t understand why you won’t let me help you,’ says He Tian, when the silence has stretched too long.
‘Because I’ll get used to it.’
He Tian frowns, not understanding.
‘One day, you’re not gonna be around. And I’ll be fucked.’
‘I’ll always be there for you.’
‘You don’t know that. People say that a lot and then they disappear or get taken away, even if they didn’t want to.’
It’s obvious they’re talking about his dad, but it feels safer to talk about things in vague, subjective conversation. Maybe things would be easier if they talked openly about things and didn’t use metaphors and hypotheticals. As it is, Guan Shan doesn’t feel ready to try the alternative. He is conscious of the fact that this feels like a conversation. They are passing words back and forth that hold meaning and neither of them has touched the other yet. It feels new and fragile as an oil painting, still wet, and so he doesn’t let himself think about this for long.
‘I think you’re getting this wrong,’ says He Tian. ‘I’m not asking you to rely on me. Obviously, I’d kind of like that. I like the thought of you needing me, and I know that says something about me. But—I’m just asking you to let me help you. Just here and there, no strings.’
Guan Shan rubs his forehead with the back of his knuckles. His keys are starting to pinch his skin and he can feel a headache starting to surface.
‘I’m tired,’ he says. ‘I actually do want you to go.’
He Tian’s jaw clenches and he breathes out heavily through his nose. He’s probably thinking he’s wasted his time.
‘Okay,’ he says then. ‘But we’re not done.’
A new wave of exhaustion comes over Guan Shan, crippling and final. He wants to get into bed with his skin against cold sheets and sleep for twelve hours without waking once.
‘You’re not the only one that ever gets to decide that,’ he tells He Tian, a little sharply. ‘You’ve gotta learn to let people go.’
‘But what if I know I can help them?’ says He Tian. ‘If I don’t, I’ve just—failed.’
They look at each other.
A minute stretches into an eternity that could be seconds or hours, and everything has gone backwards. Everything is the same.
Guan Shan can’t put his finger on what has just happened, but he feels like laughing. Their fears are twinned, self-perpetuating, some kind of ouroboros chasing its tail. Who will get caught first?
They both seem to take in a breath at the same time, and He Tian takes a step back.
‘Goodnight,’ he says.
Guan Shan nods. He waits for He Tian’s retreating back to disappear a few flights down before opening the door to his apartment, and shuts it swiftly behind him.
/
There’s a knock at the door while he’s brushing his teeth. The fish are swimming placidly in their bag on the edge of the bathroom sink. It’s past one, and he keeps all the lights off because his eyes are feeling sore. He’s adjusted to the dim glow that comes from street lamps seeping through the curtains, the blink of the timer on the electric stove, his Xbox gleaming in his bedroom. His mother shouldn’t be home yet and she has her own set of keys.
With a sinking heart, Guan Shan pictures his landlord demanding payment.
Worse, he pictures He Tian. Before He Tian left, they’d resolved nothing. It feels like being back to square one, chasing each other around a chess board. It fills him with a vast emptiness that makes him feel like he’s existing outside of himself, waiting for someone else to take over.
He pads silently towards the front door, his toothbrush jammed into his cheek, and peers through the viewer. There’s toothpaste dripping down his chin. In the hall, there’s no one there. He’s half-convinced he imagined it. He counts to ten before he opens the door, steps out—and his foot connects with something hard. There is a cardboard box sitting on the welcome mat.
Guan Shan peers around. The light in the stairwell is artificially bright. He kneels down and opens the tabs on the box, which hasn’t been taped. He swallows.
For the fish, says the note on the second box, nestled inside the first. Careful, it’s fragile.
Guan Shan rubs the heel of a palm into his right eye. He sighs. Then he reaches out, braces himself, and picks up the tank. He carries it into his apartment, and the door locks behind him.
/
thank you for reading! if you’d like to support me on my ko-fi/request a short drabble, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/agapaic 💞
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Text
Stupid Decision
 MAIN MASTERLIST
Steve Rogers x Reader
Word Count: 2,950ish
Summary: Steve makes a stupid decision regarding your relationship. (Angst/Fluff)
Notes: This is my entry for @sylvie-writes​ writing challenge. I didn’t bold the prompts but I used 23, 30, 32, 36, 44, and 52.
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“I can’t do this anymore.”
The five words no one ever longed to hear when they were in love. Especially when you were in love with none other than, Captain America. You knew something had been off before he left for the mission a week ago. And now, he had gotten back and went straight to your room. You tried to welcome him back with open arms, only for him to say.
“I can’t do this anymore.”
Your heart broke instantly. “Wh-what? Why?” Your voice was small, which made Steve almost wince.
“I just… I can’t.” He turned to leave but you quickly stopped him.
“No! You don’t get to just say you can’t do this anymore and walk away. I am owed an explanation.”
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I just can’t any more. It’s not you, it’s—“
“Bullshit! Just tell me.”
“I have another mission, Y/N. I just came to tell you it was over. I have to go.” 
He opened the door, walked out and quickly closed it. You were so shocked that you couldn’t move to chase after him. It wasn’t worth it anyway if he was done. There was no point in fighting it. You began crying into your hands, slowly lowering yourself onto your knees. Unbeknownst to you, Steve was still outside the door. He was leaning against it, head up and hand still on the door knob. He was looking at the ceiling, wishing for his tears to disappear as he listened to your cries.
The mission had been rough, as many were. But this time they had clear information on you. Your patterns, your likes and dislikes, everything down to your elementary school grades. They threatened him with your life and he could not risk it. It was killing him the whole way home that he had purposefully put together another mission to get back out there as soon as possible. But right now, Steve couldn’t get himself to move. You were inside your room, heart broken, and all he wanted to do was fix it. But he couldn’t. Not until the threat was completely gone.
~~~
Tony, Natasha, and Clint were all in the kitchen, fixing themselves breakfast, when Tony suddenly stopped what he was doing.
“What is it, Stark?” Natasha wondered.
“Shit’s about to hit the fan,” Tony answered, squinting his eyes and looking around. “I can feel it.”
Clint laughed. “You can feel it?” Clint repeated. “Since when?”
“Since ever. Trust me on this one. Something’s off about today.”
You slunk into the room. Sleep had eluded you, so you already were struggling to look decent. But it was also clear that you had been crying.
“Y/N?” Natasha questioned. “What’s wrong?”
You let out a shaky breath. “Steve broke up with me,” you answered quietly.
“What?!” Clint and Natasha exclaimed.
“See!” Tony shouted. “I told you shit was about to hit the fan!”
“Tony,” Natasha scolded, coming to your side. “Why would he do that?”
You pursed your lips, trying to keep your emotions in check. “He just… he just said that he couldn’t do it anymore. Then he left. Said he had another mission to go on.”
“Another mission?” Tony repeated. “There was no plan for another mission.”
“Well then I don’t know where he is then, Tony!” You yelled, letting it all out. “That’s what he told me, after… after…” You started hyperventilating, unable to fully take in air.
“Y/N, I need you to breathe,” Natasha coaxed, running a hand up and down your back. 
You shook your head, struggling. Nat guided you to a chair and knelt down in front of you. Tears slipped down your cheeks and you failed to take in any full breaths.
“Focus on me, Y/N,” Natasha guided. “Focus on my voice.”
“FRIDAY,” Tony called out to the AI, “I need a location on Rogers.”
“Captain Rogers is currently flying in a quinjet with Sargent Barnes and Mr. Wilson,” FRIDAY responded.
“I need details on their mission sent to me, now.” 
“I don’t…” you choked out. “I don’t… un-under-stand-d… is he… see-ing… someone… else…?”
“Impossible,” Clint replied, shaking his head. “Cap’s head over heals in love with you.”
“Th-then wh-yyy…?”
“I’ve given you all the details I have to Captain Rogers plans, Boss,” FRIDAY stated.
“I’m going to figure this out, kid. I’m going to bring them home and give ‘em hell,” Tony said. “I promise.” He press a kiss to her head before hurrying away.
“Nat…” you cried. “It hurts…”
“I know,” she rubbed her thumb over your knee. “I know… let’s get you back into bed. You need some rest.”
~~~
After Clint and Nat tucked you in, you slept for hours while they tried to figure out what Steve was thinking.
“They’ve somehow cut FRIDAY out of the quinjet,” Tony said, him and the others in his lab. “And they didn’t put in any flights plans before FRIDAY got disconnected.”
“This doesn’t make any sense,” Clint said, looking over everything. “Steve came to me a few weeks ago, asking when I knew Laura was the one. I asked him if he thought Y/N was the one and he said yes. He couldn’t have changed his mind that fast… right?”
“I think I’ve found something,” Natasha said, sitting in front of a computer. “This is the footage from Steve’s suit cam from the last mission.” She pulled screenshots up. “There’s information all about Y/N here. Like, everything. Her whole life story, her day-to-day routines. Everything.”
“He thinks he’s protecting her,” Tony whispered, looking over everything. “He thinks this is his fault and that he has to be the one to fix it.”
“Stupid, idiot men,” Natasha muttered. “Always feeling the need to protect us by doing stupid shit. We need to get him back here before she turns around and does something stupid herself.”
~~~
It was now the middle of the night and you couldn’t sleep. You were craving sugar, hard core, and you knew exactly where to find it. Sneaking out to the kitchen, you found where the cans of frosting were kept. You grabbed a spoon before carefully opening the can and sat up on top of the counter. You closed your eyes and moaned as that first spoonful ran across your tongue. 
“Did I just witness you eat frosting straight from the can?”
You jumped at the sound of Clint’s voice, almost slipping off the counter.
“Shit, Clint! You scared me.”
“Sorry about that.” He waltzed into the kitchen and stood across from you, leaning against the counter. “But seriously, are you eating frosting straight from a can?”
“It’s not a crime, Clint, it’s just my coping mechanism. Deal with it.” You put another spoonful in your mouth. 
“How are you holding up?”
“How do you think? As you’ve pointed out twice now, I’m eating frosting from a can.”
“He’s an idiot.” 
You nodded in agreement, taking another spoonful. “Yeah…” you sighed. “Clint, I don’t know if I can be here when he comes back.”
“What? You can’t seriously be thinking about leaving?”
“I am seriously thinking about it. I’m not even a part of the team nor do I work here at the compound. I moved in to be with Steve and now he doesn’t want to be with me, so I really don’t see a reason to stay. Technically, the room I’m in is his anyway.”
“Y/N, really think about this. Are you sure?”
You took a minute to really think about it. “I’m sure.”
~~~
“Are you going to tell us what’s going on here, punk?” Bucky asked. 
He and Sam had been dragged into the quinjet almost immediately after Steve had gotten home. They knew that something was wrong, but Steve wasn’t talking.
Steve sighed. “I guess it’s time that I told you,” he said. “I broke up with Y/N?”
“You what?!” His friends both shouted.
“Why? It doesn’t make any sense!” Sam continued. “Bucky, wasn’t it just a few weeks ago when Steve told us he was going to marry the girl. And now you’ve gone and broke up with her?! Do you have brain damage?!” Steve simply clenched his jaw, unable to look at them.
“Why did you do it, Steve?” Bucky asked.
“Cause they know everything,” Steve replied, quietly.
“Who knows everything?”
“HYDRA… On the last mission, I found a room dedicated to her. They’re planning on using her against me.”
“They can’t do that,” Sam said, shaking his head. “She’s perfectly safe at the compound.”
“Except she’s not. When I say they know everything, Sam, I mean they know everything. Her habits, her likes and dislikes, every moment we’ve spent together… In order to keep her safe, I needed to break up with her.”
“Was that’s HYDRA’s call or your call?” Bucky asked. Steve didn’t answer. “You idiot.”
“I had to do what was needed. We’re on our way to another base. I can’t be with her until they’re gone.”
“Did you ever think about the effect this would have on her?”
“I did. But I had to do it. She’s safe under Tony’s care right now while I fix this.”
“You didn’t even think this through, did you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Y/N’s not an Avenger. So she had no reason to be living at the compound besides you. It’s only a matter of time before she moves out. And we all know she’s not safe out there.”
“I’m sure the Team can keep her there.”
“Are you sure?” Sam asked. “Do they even know what’s going on?”
“They don’t. But if I know Natasha, she’ll do anything to keep me and her together.” 
“She’s going to kill you for doing this to Y/N.”
Steve winced, imagining what Nat will do to him when she sees him again. “Well, we’re not going back until this mission is complete.”
~~~
Clint watched you through the vents throughout the night. He wanted to see if you were really serious. And you were, you packed up all your belongs before dawn. You had also found a new apartment already. Almost every box was in the moving truck by the time Clint woke up from his spot in the vent. Upon seeing the room with only Steve’s things in it, he rushed to the lab, where Nat and Tony were still trying to get a hold of Steve, Bucky, and Sam.
“Guys! Guys! Guys!” Clint ran in. “We have a problem!”
“What is it, Legolas?” Tony asked. “I’ve almost hacked into the quinjet here.”
“Y/N’s leaving! She’s packed up and almost out of here!”
“What?!” Natasha and Tony shouted.
“We have to stop her! We need to get Steve back here!”
“I’m trying, Barton,” Tony said. “You and Red find a way to slow her down. I think I’ve got a location on them. I’m going to take a suit and go after them.”
~~~
You were walking to your car to go and meet the moving truck at your new place, when suddenly there was a red head in front of you.
“Where do you think you’re going?” She asked, hands on her hips.
“To my new apartment,” you answered. 
“Why? This is your home.”
“No, this is Steve’s home.”
“And now yours.”
“Nat… I really don’t want to do this right now. I just want to get to my new apartment and sleep.”
“You can sleep here.”
“I’m sorry, Nat.” You tried to move around her, only for her to get back in your way. “Seriously, move.”
“Try me.” She narrowed her eyes at you.
“You know I can’t compete with you. Just, Nat… I can’t be here when he gets back… he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. And that’s… well it sucks and, honestly, I may never recover. But I have a better shot at doing so someplace else.”
“Y/N…” Natasha reached for your hand, but you stepped back.
“No.” You shook your head. “If you touch me, I will break. And I don’t want to break in front of people. I have to be strong.”
“Rogers is an idiot.”
You gave her a small, but fake, smile. “I never said he wasn’t. Please, Nat, let me go.”
“Fine,” Natasha sighed. “I’m coming with you to help you unpack.”
~~~
Tony landed on the quinjet, that was still in the air. He was furious at the Captain he knew was below him. Not bothering to open the ramp, he used a laser to cut a hole in the top of the quinjet and jumped through it.
“What the hell, Stark?!” Sam exclaimed. The three men were armed.
“What the hell is right,” Tony said, making his helmet disappear. He pointed at Steve. “I can’t even believe you.”
“Tony, you don’t understand,” Steve said.
“Oh, I think I do. You think you’re protecting her but Y/N is back in New York, heart broken and moving out of the compound.”
“Moving out? She can’t move out, it’s not safe. Why are you letting her do that?”
“I’m not letting her do shit, Rogers. She’s her own person who was basically told that she wasn’t worth it.”
“I never said that. I could never—“
“Doesn’t matter. You gave her no other reason, so she’s immediately feel to that.”
“It’s too dangerous—“
“Our lives our too dangerous, Steve! You don’t see it, but she doesn’t sleep when you’re gone. Always worried sick that you might never return! You think you’re protecting her by doing this, well you’re wrong! You’ve now pushed her out of the safest place she could be!”
“I may regret saying this, but I’m with Stark on this one,” Bucky said. “You’ve been a complete and utter idiot, Steve. Yes, protect her. Go out and destroy all of HYDRA, we’ll help. But break her heart in the process,” Bucky shook his head, “ridiculous. If you told her what was going on, she would have understood. The team could have created a plan to keep her safer, but instead you did the most stupid, cliche thing in the book.”
Steve fell back into the pilot’s seat, running a hand down his face. “I really am an idiot,” he whispered.
“Damn right you are,” Sam agreed. “So what do you say to destroying this HYDRA base we’re heading to and then going back and fixing things with your girl?”
~~~ 
Both Natasha and Clint helped you unpack, though they didn’t make it easy. They kept trying to put things back in the moving van to take back to the compound, but you wouldn’t have it. After having dinner together, you forced them to leave you alone. It was now the early hours of the morning and you were sitting out on the fire escape just outside your new bedroom window. You were lost in thought, staring at the sky.
“You are probably the only person in the world who can look this beautiful at 3 in the morning.”
Steve’s rough, yet timid voice caused you to jump in surprise. You didn’t say anything though, simply stared down at him. He wasn’t too far below you, still in his suit and roughed up from the mission.
“I know I’m probably the last person you want to see,” he began slowly, continuing up the fire escape. “But I had to see you.”
“Why?” You sounded weaker than you wanted to. “You said you couldn’t do it anymore…”
“And I was so incredibly stupid.” He sat on the same level as you, far enough away to give you your space while still being close. “I… the mission got into my head. They… they knew everything about you.”
“Everything?”
“Everything,” he nodded. “They were planning to come after you and use you against me. And I couldn’t… I couldn’t get past it to see another way then ending it with you.”
“Steve,” you moved slightly closer. “You could have just talked to me about it.”
“I know… I wasn’t thinking… And for that I’m so sorry.” He met your eyes. His blues were glistening with tears. “Is there any way to fix this mess I’ve gotten myself into?”
You sighed, turning back to look at the sky. “I.. I… I’m scared… Scared of getting hurt again… But I’m more scared of not being able to love you.”
“Me too… Y/N, I made the stupidest decision I have ever made, by telling you I couldn’t do it anymore. It was me not thinking straight, acting on impulse. I should have talked to you about it all, gotten your opinion… I just love you so much, the thought of losing you was—“
“Too much to bare.” Steve nodded in agreement. “I know, cause I feel that way every time you leave for a mission. There’s always a good chance that you don’t come back, that doesn’t mean that I would ever break up with you.”
“You’re stronger than me… you always have been.”
You rested your hand on his closest to you. “We’re both strong in our own ways, that’s why we work so well together.” You moved closer to him, so your arms were brushing against each other. “I love you, Steve. You just need to promise to talk to me, or this isn’t going to work.”
He cupped your cheek, rubbing his thumb against it. “I don’t deserve you… I love you, so much. I promise to talk more before I make a decision.”
You held up your pinky. “Pinky promise?”
Steve laughed as he brought up his pinky to wrap around yours. “Pinky promise.”
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Note
Hi Hi!!!! So I've been following your account for a little while now and I love every single comedy bomb you drop on what you write so I was wondering....
How would the boys react to their S/O who is usually reserved when at the lair, doing a full 180 when at April's? Like they could be April's roommate or something?....
Like crackhead energy, dishing out memes and vines and literally having a duel with Casey about leftovers in the fridge?... Yeah I know it's very specific 💀
I don't know.....the idea just popped into my head but I lack the creativity and comedy skills for that...so I was wondering if you could do something with this?.....
It's totally fine, if not 😁😁
This is... 100% me. I love this and I'm gonna pour my soul into it. Also I have started mentally referring to these as comedy bombs and I refuse to stop.
Also, I hope you don't mind that I wrote these in oneshot form instead of bullet points. It just made more sense for my brain.
TMNT Oneshots
The boys with a partner whose reserved at the lair but an absolute crack gremlin at home 🤣
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Donatello
Donnie may have been a man of science, all logic and facts and numbers and things. But he absolutely believed that everyone had three separate faces, you were direct proof of that theory. While the purple terrapin had known you for nearly a year you’d only started dating a month ago and it shocked him that he was still uncovering new things about you. He loved it, sure, but it had a tendency to give him figurative whiplash.
He’d always known you to be calm and collected, maybe even a bit shy. He swore you’d explode if more than one person tried to talk to you at the same time. So it wasn’t an over exaggeration for him to say that your behavior at home nearly made him break his neck.
He was only there to help April fix a bug in her laptop and to confirm your next date, he was excited to see you since you’d had no contact in person for a week because of your schedules. Just lots of phone calls and exchanged text messages. You both missed each other like crazy and your roommate had neglected to inform you that your boyfriend was coming over.
Hers was already there and he was driving you up the wall, you’d never actually thought about committing a murder but Casey was pushing you very close to the edge of snapping. And he might as well have crane-kicked you off your cliff of patience and into the rushing river of “you little fucking shit I’m gonna piss on your grave” below. You hadn’t even heard Donnie come in through the window much less his conversation with April over her computer.
All you knew was that Casey had come parading into your room like a tyrant eating the leftovers in the fridge that you had specifically put your name on. That did it. Your eyes had skimmed over the top of your textbook to meet the asshole in front of you.
“Casey?”
He couldn’t speak through the mouthful he was trying to chew and grunted in pathetic response.
“Is that my cheeseburger?”
You’d never seen a living person imitate a pug’s facial structure so well, the man’s eyes bugged out of his head and he tossed the takeout box on your desk before turning and bolting out of your room. You followed about two steps behind with a bottle of shampoo in your hand. No, you weren’t entirely sure where you’d grabbed it from, all you knew was that it was your weapon. And it quickly became a very messy problem when it missed your target (Casey’s head) and slammed into the wall, exploding on impact.
You didn’t think you’d thrown it that hard.
“April April help help help helpppppppppppppp-'' The two on the couch had looked up during the chase throughout the apartment, Donnie was mostly curious at what Casey was screaming about. Not a lot usually made the guy make that noise. He was then distracted by April grabbing the laptop and passing it to him, she then clambered over his legs to sit behind him.
“YOU UGLY ASS CROISSANT! FUCKING PANINI HEAD- IT HAD MY NAME ON IT YOU DAFT AVACADO!”
Your boyfriend almost went vertical upon watching you tackle Casey to the floor and knee him in the groin. You shook the terrified man under you and slammed him a little harder into the rug.
“Touch my shit again and I’m gonna make the beaches of Normandy look like a goddamn family vacation.”
Then you climbed off of him and stood, brushing your disheveled t-shirt off with a huff. Donnie caught your attention and you raised your head to grin excitedly at him.
“Hi Dove! April didn’t tell me you were coming over,” you practically skipped over to the couch to peck him on the cheek, “I missed ya, are we still on for Saturday?”
He nodded in complete shock, his gaze flitting from you to Casey, who was still wheezing on the floor and clutching his dick.
“Uhhh yeah! Yeah, yep, Still good for Saturday. Uhm, completely unrelated question, where the hell did you learn to grapple like that?”
You shrugged absentmindedly, already walking to the hall closet to grab cleaning supplies for the puddle of shampoo in the walkway.
“Just kinda picked it up I guess? I’ve watched you guys train enough.”
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Leonardo
See, Leo had always known that you were hiding something from him. Be it your true personality or some deep dark secret. He wasn’t really in a rush to find out, you’d tell him when you were ready. The leader enjoyed your quiet disposition anyways, you gave good advice and liked to meditate with him, what more could he ask for? What more could he want?
Well, maybe if you got along better with his family, although he supposed that wasn’t your fault, you always had been a bit shy. Even six months into your relationship with him, Leo only hoped that you’d warm up to his brothers eventually. You seemed to do alright with Splinter, that was a plus for the situation. It wasn’t that you were mean or impolite to the others, you were just… avoidant. Distant, quiet, whatever word you wanted to use. You just didn’t seem comfortable at the lair.
He was excited that April had asked to host a game night though, maybe you’d come out of your shell (haha, see what I did there?) and socialize, even for a little bit. They’d all shown up a few minutes early to make sure April didn’t need help with anything, she’d assured them that everything was handled and made sure to inform Leo that you would be back shortly with Casey from your snack run. Mikey had joked that you’d ditched the get together to avoid them but they all knew it ran the possibility of not being a joke.
You unlocked the door and held it open so Casey could get inside without tripping himself before entering yourself and kicking your shoes off. Leo looked up to meet your eyes and you sent him a wild grin, your entire face lit up with amusement.
“Hi babes! Are you ready to get your ass kicked at Monopoly?”
All the poor turtle could do was nod.
“Good. I did grab drinks by the way, April there should be a mixer in the cooler bag, Donnie there’s some of that lemon lime stuff that you said you wanted to try, Mikey, orange crush as usual, Raph I tried to go for Dr. Pepper but they were out so I figured that root beer was a safe second. And Leo they had a new boba flavor that you haven’t had yet so I grabbed one. If you don’t like it then you can have mine, I just have the peach royal.”
Beverages were tossed and they were lucky that their surprise didn’t throw off their catching skills. You and April shared a quick word in the kitchen as you took your coat off and ran a hand through your hair.
After some arguments team captains were decided and Donnie nearly had a heart attack when you picked him instead of Leo or either of your friends. He even went so far as to point at himself to make sure you weren’t joking. You declared that while you loved your boyfriend his morals were too strong to be competitive, Donnie’s were not, he said so himself.
They were all surprised that you’d remembered that conversation.
It wasn’t until halfway through the game that things started getting heated, you and Mikey were nearly jumping across the table at each other. And it visibly took all of your strength to not burst out laughing when he started yelling.
"YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS CHEATING! YOU'RE CHEATING! GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!"
April and Casey were snorting into their arms as you got to your feet and walked towards the kitchen, making a poor attempt at climbing the appliance.
"THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE!"
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Raphael
Raph had always been under the impression that you were never really 100% yourself around him, he knew for a fact that you weren’t when you stayed over. He’d never seen someone so aggressively avoid someone, except himself of course. You were his partner of almost a year and it seemed like you were never going to let your true self shine. However you did seem to lighten up when you were alone with him, he supposed that was normal, but you may as well have been a pair of old earbuds that only work when you held them a certain way at the lair.
He honestly hadn’t expected that to change tonight, not given the text that Casey had sent him informing him of April’s recent breakup with whatever guy she’d been dating. So when he climbed in through the window and saw both you and Casey sitting on the floor in front of the bathroom he really didn’t think that the words out of your mouth would be-
“April you’ve got another twenty minutes of this then I’m ripping the door off the hinges!”
Casey shot you a look and you shrugged nonchalantly before getting to your feet and walking over to your confused boyfriend.
“Hey, sorry about this. Casey only texted you as a last resort if he needed someone to stop me from tearing the door off.”
Raph found that peculiar, “Uh, couldn’t he do it himself?”
The man in question looked up from his spot on the floor.
“Nah dude, they’re crazy. Last time I tried stopping them from doing something they nearly knocked my damn tooth out while screaming, and I quote, “If you put your hands on me I’m gonna fucking rip your face off” and quite frankly I don’t have the balls to test that.”
“No no dude, that’s valid. I wouldn’t either. Babe, why are you so-”
You raised an eyebrow at him over a glass of water, “Violent? I’m not Raph. These two just have little bitch feelings.”
He found it hard not to laugh at that and fifteen minutes later when you left his side to approach the door again it sent him reeling.
“This shit’s temporary April. You’ve got nice teeth and a fat ass, stuff your feelings down!”
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Michelangelo
There would never be a time where Mikey wasn’t a prankster with you, it was just simply non-negotiable. You were cool with that and he was aware, he was also aware that no pranks were to be pulled at the lair. So he’d reign it in while you visited, just for a short while. But you’d never said anything about the apartment and Mikey was a creature of opportunity.
Unfortunately Leo talked him out of it and forced him not to pull anything while they visited. The leader was already on edge so when he walked in with the others following closely behind you were the first person to see him. Your eyes caught Mikey’s instantly and you might as well have been telepathic at that moment. But you took one look at Leo’s solid, angry face and seized your moment.
They weren’t at all ready for the scream.
“GET YOUR FUCKIN’ DOG BITCH!”
And they also weren’t ready for Mikey’s response of, “It don’t bite.”
And Leo was not ready for the pillow that got whipped at his face at incredibly high speed.
“YES IT DO-”
So when Leo finally realized that they were yelling at him his mood did not improve at all and in fact declined sharply into a pit of “oh fuck”. And that was how you ended up on Mikey’s shoulder getting dragged away from any sort of repercussion for your actions.
These got a little short near the end but I hope you like 'em and I hope I was able to capture what you had in mind! 😁
-Mars 🌠
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fandom-monium · 4 years
Note
I JUST READ KITCHEN CATASTROPHES OMG ITS SOOO CUTE UGH MY HEART SO SOFT CAN YOU PLSSS DO A PART 2? THANK YOU KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO
AN: thank you, anon! i dont plan to make a sequel to KC. But if i did:
For Valentine’s Day
Summary: In which you throw a wrench in Spencer’s plans: you don’t like Valentine’s Day. “If it’s with you, I guess it’s not so bad.”
WC: 2.9k (whoops)
Tags/Warnings: Spencer Reid x GN!Reader, fluff, cussing, semi anti-valentines day, Spencer tears up but dont worry were there to fix that, established relationships (blegh), Garvez if you squint, post-For the Holidays
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Fuck cooking, Spencer thinks one day.
It's an irrational thought. The kind that strikes through his mind in a flash of irritation like a scrape of the knee as he is perusing the internet. Yes, he is using a computer willingly. He has to because he's desperate.
Cooking is stupid. Who really needs it, right?
He needs it. God, he needs it so bad.
His need to learn cooking wasn't as incessant until recently. Until you came along.
Spencer is a meticulous person and a romantic if you'd ever met one. Makes sense considering how he grew up, reading the classics and all that. He's read all the gooey literary shit old people write and while he never understood those meanings it all dawned on him one day. Quotes written like 'the stars in their eyes' and 'sunshine glowing off them like a halo', suddenly makes sense once he meets you. Or at least, after coming to know you, months into your newfound friendship.
It's because of this he plans accordingly the weeks leading up to Valentine's day! Because again he's meticulous and a romantic and a genius so he plans every step and makes a back up plan in case A, B, and C fall through.
Is he going overboard? 
… Nah. No way. Not when it comes to you.
But fuck with a capital F, man.
It's your third date. Or what is supposed to be your third date if you would just stop being you for a second.
Then again, he loves you a lot and he wouldn't love you if you weren't, well, you.
Although—pardon his french—what the fuck. 
Spencer knows he needs to learn to cook. You've tried plenty of times to teach him and he loves learning and he especially loves it when you are the teacher (wait, does he have a teacher/student fantasy? Maybe. That’s something he'll look into later. Preferably with you). 
Unfortunately, he's terrible at it.
He's made progress and he knows it's true because you said so but the miniscule progress he's made is. Not. Enough. And it's all your fault! Because he gets so distracted by you during your lessons, like when you put your hands over his to show him proper slicing techniques—holy fuck, he wanted to combust right there—or just watching your deft hands at work, lips and brow scrunched in concentration in that adorable way. And you smell like cooking oil or whatever you're making and you're hot.
He's so into you it physically hurts. Ugh. How is he so lucky? 
You're also the first person he's been this into since Maeve. And everyone knows how well that turned out.
So he tries to dial it down for Valentine’s Day. Morgan told him once he tends to throw himself into everything he does, including love. And when you two got together, he promised the universe he will not fuck this up. He ends up combining Morgan’s advice with Luke’s, trying to be casual like Luke says because apparently you're just as into him as he is of you. 
The thought makes him grin uncontrollably. Luke says it makes him look like a clown but a lovesick clown. A lovefool, Luke hehs.
Spencer doesn’t get the joke, but it does nothing to deter him.
As Luke advised, Spencer does “not” make a dozen back up plans and does “not" plan weeks in advance. Because that wouldn't be casual, would it?
But now the day’s come and as Valentine’s Day turns to Valentine’s Night, Spencer wants to pull his hair, rub his frustratedly stinging eyes but he can't because he's in the middle of work, in the middle of the bullpen, in the middle of his desk and he refuses to be that guy. Not again.
Why does he feel like sobbing? Like a loser? 
Because you don't like Valentine’s Day. No, you abhor it.
It happens in the middle of the work day. It's like he tried to open a door only for a bucket of ice water to be dumped on him and now he looks like a drowned rat. He definitely feels like one.
You're talking with Garcia about her Valentine’s Day plans as you multitask, switching between putting together packets and stacking them aside. Then taking them under the hole-puncher and stapling them together because the BAU isn't all kicking down doors and catching freaks. 
It makes sense that you’re chatting with Garcia during your break. The two of you have become two peas in a pod after you came out of your shell. Now you're inseparable. Only you make Garcia leave her batcave as much as she does now.
Out of sight, he catches tidbits of your conversation when he hears distinctively: Fuck Valentine’s Day.
Okay, you didn't say that verbatim but you might as well have, grimacing as you three hole-punch a packet and his heart. Then a nail on his coffin only it’s with a stapler. 
Thump. Chick.
Spencer winces; there goes your his Valentine’s Day plans. 
It shouldn't sting as much as it does. You've been dating for over a month and Valentine’s Day is definitely not his favorite holiday either. It's not even top 3. And as you rant he can’t help but silently nod in agreement, all the facts straight: yes, it's an eyesore. Yes, it's a capitalistic holiday. Yes, people should do nice things for their significant others no matter the time and not because it's expected on a specific day. Yes, it doesn't compare to Halloween—
The thing is, you two aren't that “couple-y”, at least in a traditional sense. Not like Will and JJ who got a babysitter so they could go out or like Luke and Garcia as they plan to go to a special Valentine’s Day event she wants to check out (she vehemently denies anything going on between them but he doesn't need to be a genius to see the affection they have for one another. Just kiss already, damn).
So yeah, Spencer hoped to spend the romantic holiday with you. For once, he'd have Valentine’s Day plans, aside from exchanging cards with the team and his mother.
But apparently you hate Valentine’s Day! So there goes plan A, B, C, and D!
Spencer feels the tears spring at the corner of his eyes. He sniffs as subtly as he can, raising an open case file to his face. Of all the plans he hadn't thought through this was not one of them. IQ 187, his ass.
He should've known. Or at least ask your thoughts on Valentine’s Day. That was inconsiderate on his part. He blinks back tears, withdrawing into himself despite his hurt because he is a lovefool and only for you. He just wants to impress you, make you happy even if that means canceling your first Valentine’s Day together.
Now if you'll excuse him, he has to call off a few reservations and make some returns. Several actually.
Can you return a dozen donuts in the shape of hearts?
… Yeah, he better ask Emily for the rest of the day off.
"Hey Newb, have you seen Spencer? I haven't seen him since his break," You ask, resting your chin in your hand as you squint at another form. Your eyes are beginning to tire. 
Spencer asked you several times over the course of the last week, checking to see if you were free today. You are, so you planned to hang with him after work, but he hasn't returned from his break and he wasn't answering your calls or texts. Not unusual but still odd for your boyfriend (you still can’t believe you get to say that).
Luke sighs, his smooth voice reaching over your shared divider, "You know at some point I'm just not going to respond. You guys can’t call me Newbie forever."
"Keep telling yourself that," You snort without looking up.
Another sigh and you smirk: you win.
"For your information," Luke grumbles, words punctuated with sass, "Doc went home."
You pause. "Home?" He didn't tell you.
"Yeah, probably to get ready for your date."
"Our date?" You frown and stand up, leaning over the divider to see if Luke’s fucking with you.
He isn't. Luke shrugs, humming wistfully as he rests his cheek in his hand, "You should've seen how excited he was, being it your first Valentine's Day and all. I told him to chill out because you'll love whatever it is no matter what but I'm sure he ignored that and planned something spectacular for you guys." Sitting back, he twirls around in his chair.
You grimace, recalling your earlier conversation with Garcia. 
Shit.
"Meanwhile, I have to spend Galentine's Day with Garcia because all the ladies of the BAU are taken and I have nothing better to do—" Luke comes to a full 720, catching the tail end of your coat as you whip it on and make for the door. "—um, excuse you?"
"If Emily asks, I had an emergency!" You manage to call back, throwing open the glass door.
"Okay?"
"Thanks, Newb!"
As the elevator door dings shut with you inside, leg jumping because you have a sneaking suspicion you fucked up, Luke slouches in his chair and grumbles.
He's not a newb. Or a newbie.
You rush over to Spencer's, catching your breath as you stumble to his front door. There's shuffling from inside, the faint sound of clanking and crashing and your heart swells because this is the man you’ve fallen for, the first one you've ever felt this way for. Here he is, being all considerate and romantic. And here you are, fucking it up when your relationship’s barely even started.
God, you're an asshole, you berate yourself as you turn the doorknob and push open the door. You're an asshole you're an asshole you’re an asshole—
Then your eyes widen and your jaw goes slack. 
Immediately, you slap a hand over your mouth and nose as your favorite scented candles hit you like someone shoved a bouquet in your face. The description isn't too far off considering there's a lovely bouquet of your favorite flowers still in its wrapping, haphazardly set next to a dozen donuts on the coffee table like no one's business. Its petals are strewn across the floor, a few in tiny piles like they were hastily swept to the side. Red and pink and dark green fill your vision.
Who gutted Cupid and tossed his organs around, holy fu-
"(Your name)?"
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Startled, you crane your head to find Spencer, beautiful hair askew and his tie hanging loosely around his neck. His sleeves are pushed up to his elbows as he clutches flowers to his chest. In his other hand, he grips the colored strings of several shiny red and pink balloons in the shape of hearts and—fuck—your heart might actually float up from your chest and into your eyes.
This is your man. Your partner. Your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend panics, fumbling for a second before stuffing the balloons and trimmed flowers back into the room behind him and slamming the door shut. He turns back to you, eyes wide.
"What-what are you doing here?" Spencer stammers, wringing his hands together.
You blink at him, dumbly holding up your phone. "You-uh-you left early and didn't return my calls."
"I'm sorry. I think I left my phone at work," Probably because he left in such a rush, Spencer groans, looking anywhere but you. The petals scattered over his floor are quite pretty in this light. "And I was a bit busy."
"I'm sure you were," You gawk openly at the strings of fairy lights hung around his living room. It's a clash of aesthetics. Spencer always rocked dark academia, but despite how ugly the combination of red and pink decorations with his nature green walls and dark wood is, it leaves his apartment a little brighter, a little cozier, and you love it.
You love everything about this.
But as you take in the ugly beauty of it all, Spencer fidgets at the doorway, mistaking your awe as shock and disgust. Wiping sweaty palms on his trousers, his eyes dart around, trying to focus on something, but every place he lays his eyes on makes him cringe. He catches all the things he couldn't clean up or put away in time. No doubt you do too. All the leftover flower petals, the donuts he can’t return, candles that haven’t blown out because he has the lungs of an 8-year old asthmatic. 
Spencer can't imagine how appalled you are.
And the longer your silence stretches on, the more nervous he gets so he blurts out, "I'm so sorry, (Your Name)!"
Your brow shoots up as he begins to ramble.
"You must hate this. I'll put everything away."
"You really don't have to—" You stop him, and your heart nearly crumbles as Spencer's does when he finally meets your worried gaze. 
His eyes gleam with unshed tears. He swallows, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have—"
"Doc—"
"At least not without asking you—"
"Doctor—"
"I understand if you want to break up—" His voice cracks, as if the idea itself will destroy him (it definitely will). 
"Spencer—" His voice, wobbly and dripping with unnecessary guilt, draws you to him.
"But I want you to know that I—"
With an exasperated sigh, you grab his hand as yours finds the nape of his neck, pulling him into a soft kiss. 
For a second, Spencer doesn't respond because who kisses the person they're about to break up with? Strange, really. But then he kisses you back. His hands remain frozen, unsure of where he stands, but he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. He figures this is a new social cue he has yet to learn. And if this is the last time you kiss him, he'll treasure every second of it, take whatever you'll give him because again he's a lovefool for you. 
And when you pull back, he's too dazed he nearly misses the look you give him. Suddenly, he can’t breathe.
You look at him like he hung the stars instead of cheap fairy lights around his apartment. 
Spencer’s confused. "I-I... Wha—"
"I'm not breaking up with you," You chuckle, and you nearly burst out laughing as genuine puzzlement takes over his face. You tug him behind you, plopping yourselves on his couch. You smile, appreciating the way he organized the cushions and throw-pillows; there's now space for two people to lay down.
You take a breath. "You wanna know why I don't like Valentine’s Day?"
Spencer slouches, though his body is angled towards you so you suppose that's good. He sighs, "Because it's a capitalistic holiday that reinforces the idea of doing the bare minimum…"
He begins listing your reasons, and your eyes soften. Of course he listened and remembered even if you mentioned it offhandedly.
You nod once he finishes. "Yes but before that—and I can't believe I'm telling you this—back when I was a little kid, I didn’t get any Valentines."
Spencer's brow furrows at the newfound information. You continue, "I'd get some from my friends and stuff but that's not what Valentine's Day is about. At least not when you're a kid. When you’re a dumb kid, it’s about couples and romantic shit, and I didn't really have any of that growing up." You purse your lips and glance away, face flushed with embarrassment. It's really not that big a deal, but putting it into words makes the idea seem more intimate and personal.
It takes a moment for your words to sink in as Spencer can't believe his ears. How could you not have been showered with love and affection and presents on Valentines Day? It's like water doesn't make things wet or fire doesn't produce heat; it just doesn't make sense. Because you deserve that much and more.
"So every Valentine's Day, I lowered my expectations and eventually I stopped caring. I'd tell myself those things and I started to believe them," You bite your lip, eyes crinkling as you give Spencer a sheepish smile. "But now I have you."
At that, Spencer returns your smile, letting you take his hand. Any tears he had seem to evaporate instantly.
“So, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I stand by what I said before, Valentine’s Day sucks. But if it’s with you,” Blushing deeply, you play with Spencer's hand, large and veins defined compared to yours, shrugging, “I guess it’s not so bad.”
Spencer’s smile broadens, and he intertwines your fingers together. "So what you’re saying is, you don’t hate this?” He looks around his living room.
You shake your head, unable to stop the grin crossing your lips. “No. In fact, very much the opposite. Honestly, thank you for this, it’s beautiful. I have no words.” You breathe it all in; the candles, the flowers, the— Your nose wrinkles and you snort, “Did you burn something?”
Bashfully looking down, he scratches his chin. “I-uh-tried to make your favorite dishes. Though, I was hoping the candles and flowers would mask it.”
You giggle and pull him into you, snuggling into his side. “That’s okay. I’d much rather have you anyway.”
With Spencer a blushing, stuttering mess in your arms, head resting on your chest, you press a kiss to his hair and conclude; yeah, you don’t like Valentine’s Day. 
But you sure as hell love Spencer more.
AN:  FtH status: finished - 7/5. yes 7.
I realize this was not what anon requested but oh well i wrote this at 2 am 
I’m not that anti v day but i stand by the capitalistic aspect.
yes this takes place after For the Holidays.
also included luke bc hes my bro and i honestly think he deserves so much more than what the show gave also garvez ftw
happy post valentine’s day!!
Song: Lovefool by The Cardigans
257 notes · View notes
starglow-xx · 4 years
Text
checklist
heyo! i wrote and posted this on my quotev for keith’s birthday (october 23, 2020) and i finally made a tumblr for my fanfiction soo here it is!!
keith kogane x f! reader
genre: fluff and slight angst!
Tumblr media
This was what you had planned and written out coming to the Garrison.
(y/n's) Checklist: Garrison Days
Get into the Garrison✔️ extra: best friend is here too! :)
Get a license to become a co-fighter pilot extra: we're getting there!
Make new friends!✔️ extra: pidgeon, lancelot, and sunshine :D
Graduate!
Okay, granted, it's a bit short, but nevertheless it's straightforward and guaranteed to not knock you off course.
Although, this was the list that she seemed to be following at the moment.
(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist
Fall in love with your best friend✔️
Sneak out of the Garrison basically every night to meet up with said best friend who just so happened to be expelled✔️
Fall in love with your best friend✔️
Keep secrets from your other best friends✔️
oh and FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND
✔️
Can't forget that checkmark.
You sighed.
'Damn him and his pretty face.'
Sighing once more, you flopped backward against your bed holding your phone out away from your face staring at the time.
11:23 p.m.
'It's still early. I'm not meeting up with Keith for at least another half hour.'
You frowned at your phone.
'I wish time would go faster. Or better yet, just skip this.'
You put the phone down opting to stare at the ceiling instead. Frankly, you were exhausted. Keith always ends up keeping you up till the very early hours of the morning, just before daybreak, leaving you with a small amount of sleep.
'I mean we do this basically every night. It wouldn't hurt to bail on him just this once right? It's not like we end up finding any clues about Shiro or "the energy source".'
Frowning again at the thought of your lost older brother figure, you closed your eyes and placed your right forearm against your eyes, leaving your other hand against your stomach holding your phone.
'A quick nap wouldn't hurt now would it?'
You shut your eyes slowly and then you were out like a light.
You awoke to light knocking at your door.
Opening your eyes slowly, you stared up at the ceiling, and you wait until your eyes get adjusted to the dim lighting of your room.
'Wait a damn minute.'
You frantically sit upright looking for your phone before spotting it on the floor. You immediately grab it before widening your eyes in horror.
12:46 a.m.
'Shit.'
*knock knock knock*
The knocking of the metal door snapped you back into your senses, making you rush all over the room fixing your appearance while simultaneously packing a small bag.
*knock knock knock*
'There's no fucking way Keith broke into the Garrison. There's no fucking way he's outside my door. No fucking way.'
'Guess we'll just have to find out.'
Taking a big deep breath, you allow the metal door to open.
And you end up staring into the blue orbs of your flirtatious best friend Lance McClain.
A sigh of relief passes in between your breath and you smile as you lean against the frame of your door only then noticing Hunk's panicky presence behind the lanky male. Ignoring his nervousness, you wave at the soon to be yellow paladin, with him exchanging a fidgety smile and wave in return. 
Taking note of your sigh and smile, Lance speaks up with a cocky, goofy grin on his face.
"Woah there pretty lady, happy to see me?~" 
Rolling your eyes with an equally goofy grin on your face you respond.
"Ha! In your dreams McClain."
"But you're always in my dreams (y/n)!" he replies cheekily.
Playfully shoving the tall teen backward, you stifle a laugh. You always enjoy your time with Lance; it's always been like this, the playful banter, everything. Even since you met as kids at the Garrison.
"Okay! Okay! Jeez (n/n) so violent."
Rolling your eyes again, you take another look at the best friend duo before asking, "So, care to tell me why you're here in front of my dorm at like one in the morning?"
Lance opens his mouth only to have Hunk shove the both of you back into your room with him following and the metal door shutting behind the three of you.
Lance not liking how he was treated so roughly, started to whine, "Hunkkkk what was that forrr- MPPFH," only to get interrupted by Hunk placing a hand on both of your mouths.
"SHHH! We have to be quiet you guys," Hunk lowers his voice, "I heard a guard walking down the other hallway, I think he might turn the way next! Oh wait! I hear him shhhhh"
The three of you stood still and quiet as you hear the footsteps of the guard get closer and closer until eventually fading. 
After that very close call, you all sigh in relief as you had done a few minutes prior.
Suddenly remembering the conversation from a few minutes ago also made you become more aware of the time. Taking a look at the clock on your dresser, you curse under your breath.
12:57 a.m.
Quickly taking out your phone from your satchel, you curse again seeing the missed calls and text messages from Keith.
57 missed calls & 6 unread messages
keef♡
where are you?
sent 12:03 a.m.
(y/n) answer.
sent 12:07 a.m.
(y/n) pick up the damn phone! I know you're tired and I always drag you out late but come on pick up.
sent 12:09 a.m.
Okay, okay I'm sorry. Don't be mad at me.
sent 12:10 a.m.
(y/n) damn it. Now's not the time to be mad at me or to be sleeping. I think we might actually find something this time, I can feel it.
sent 12:15 a.m.
Fine then. I'll go on my own this time.
sent 12:17 a.m.
Ah shit. The only time Keith texts you first, and it's because you were being an idiot and accidentally bailed on him. Now he thinks that you've ditched him. Knowing him, he's gonna feel way more upset than you think because of what happened with his mom, dad, and Shiro. 
'Ah I fucked up this time didn't I?'
Breaking out of your thoughts, you realize that you have guests at the moment.
You whispered yelled at the two taller boys, "What are you two doing here?!"
Lance sulked, "Aw (n/n) I could've sworn you were happy to see us like five minutes ago."
"That was before you almost got me in trouble!"
And that's coming from the girl who sneaks out of the Garrison on a daily basis. But they don't need to know that.
Not yet at least.
Hunk (bless his soul) interrupts Lance once more as he opens up his mouth, "Lance here wants to do some "team bonding" so we were going to get both you and Pidge, but we saw Pidge run out of his dorm, but we still needed to get you and this is the worst team-building exercise ever."
Ahh that's right.
The four of you got scolded today after failing the simulation.
Hunk puked, Pidge removed his (you're still doubting if he is really a he, but no judgment there) safety harness, and Lance crashed the jet. You on the other received praise from Iverson after attempting to pull a safer (cough cough Lance) emergency landing, and trying to pull the team together.
Well, it's your job as the co-pilot to keep Lance in check, just like how you attempted to keep Keith in check. All your teachers and other friends warned you about sticking close to Keith. They never did understand that you two had a close bond.
You two grew up together after all.
--
"Seriously (l/n) stay away from Kogane. You're a bright kid, you got real skill. Don't get mixed up with that troublemaker."
You look down as Commander Iverson speaks to you.
"Well go along, break will be over soon enough. See you in class."
He walks down the hallway as Keith approaches you carefully as he enters from the other side of the nearby wall.
"You can stop you know. You always get in trouble for sticking with me. I'll understand." He says in a low voice looking down.
You, on the other hand, shoot your head up and quickly wrapping your arms around him surprising the young teen.
"Are you dumb?! I'd never leave you Keith! We'll go through thick and thin together remember?! If anything, you might be the one leaving me! You move too fast you might just leave me behind!" you exclaim while squeezing him tighter fully aware of the growing blush on your face.
He lightly laughs before wrapping his arms around your smaller frame squeezing you just as tight.
"Don't worry (y/n), I don't plan on it."
You refuse to let him go as you don't want him to see your red face, not knowing that he hasn't let go for the same reason.
--
As you both got older, around the disappearance of Shiro, Keith gets expelled, but the both of you still manage to keep in touch seeing as you frequently sneak out.
"Why don't you two go ahead? I was just about to get some shut-eye, so tell me how it goes tomorrow okay?"
Yes, sleep would be pretty nice, but in reality, you needed them to get out of here so you can find Keith.
Please say okay, please say okay, please say okay.
Scrunching his eyebrows, Lance denies your request, "What? No! You're part of the team, we need you there!"
'Damn it.'
--
Before you know it, you find yourself on the roof checking out Pidge's equipment.
"Stop touching my equipment!"
You and Hunk pouted.
--
Now, you find yourself and the other three spying on an alien ship on a small ledge after hearing the emergency lockdown announcement at the Garrison.
You blinked. 
"Hmm hey, Lance?"
"Yes (y/n)?"
"Why the hell are we here?"
Lance stopped looking through the binoculars to look up at you.
"We need to find out what's going on! But we'll never get past those guards to take a look."
Pidge types away on his computer.
Hunk sighs, "Aww yeah, I guess there's nothing else but to get back to the barracks right?" and he gets up from his crouching position and starts to leave. 
'Good idea Hunk.'
As you yourself start to head back, Pidge speaks up.
"Wait they set up a camera in there and I picked up its feed. Look."
The three of you gather around Pidge, only for your breath to hitch and for tears to start gathering in the corner of your eyes.
'Shiro?'
You think back to Keith's message.
"I think we might actually find something this time, I can feel it."
'Damn it, I hate it when he's right. I need to text Keith.'
You snap back into reality to dig through your bag only to hear Lance say, "No, what we need is a distraction."
As if on cue, a series of explosions go off in the distance.
'Oh no Keith I swear to God.'
"Ahh are those the aliens?! Are they here?! They got here so quick!" 
Hunk continues to freak out, but Pidge interrupts him.
"No, those explosions were a distraction! For him. The Garrison is heading towards the blast, while he's sneaking through the other side!"
You could recognize that red hoverbike anywhere.
So, you quickly make your way down the small ledge ignoring the shouts of your friends.
"(y/n)! Wait! Oh that guy is always trying to one-up me!"
Lance quickly runs after you.
"Who is it?" Hunk asks.
"Keith!"
"What?! Are you sure?!" Hunk is quick on Lance's heels.
By now, you're way ahead of the three.
"Who?!" Pidge questions.
"(y/n)'s boyfriend!"
But not far enough to not hear that.
"I heard that Lance!"
--
(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist
Find your lost brother figure✔️
Get chased by the Garrison✔️
Realize that your bestest friend might be mad and hurt because of you✔️
Today is just not your day.
*A few minutes prior*
"Nope, no, n-n-no no you don't. I'm saving Shiro."
As Lance makes his way over to Keith and Shiro, you find yourself locking your (e/c) eyes with Keith's purple ones.
His eyes widened, not noticing Lance taking Shiro's other arm. 
'Wait. Is that a metal prosthetic?'
"(y/n)?"
Snapping back into reality, (you seem to be spacing out a lot recently) you try and wrap yourself around this delicate situation.
Keith thinks you abandoned him on something that means a lot to him.
Keith is possibly mad at you.
Keith finds Shiro only for you, Lance, Hunk, and Pidge to barge in.
Keith might be thinking you left him alone for those three.
Keith looks hurt.
Your already teary eyes soften along with your voice, "Keith I-", only to get cut off by Keith himself.
"Who are you?" he quetions looking at Lance.
'Ouch.'
'I guess I deserved that.'
"Who am I? Uhh the name's Lance?"
Lance blinks waiting for Keith to recognize him. When he doesn't he speaks again.
"Uhh we were in the same class in the Garrison."
Keith still not recognizing him asks, "Really? Were you an engineer?"
Lance tired of his confusion clarifies, "What no. I'm a pilot. We were like rivals. You know, Lance and Keith neck and neck, and with (y/n) breaking up all our fights."
You deadpan at the brown-haired boy.
'Does he mean those petty fights where Keith doesn't acknowledge him, and I end up dragging him away?'
As if suddenly remembering, Keith says, "Oh wait I remember you. You're a cargo pilot."
"Well not anymore, I'm fighter class now thanks to you washing out."
Keith being Keith sarcastically congratulates him.
"Seriously, how are you (y/n)'s bestest friend?! You don't even know anything about her other best friends? And what's with the attitude?! I swear! I always tell her to stay away! You're a bad influence on her!"
You warn the blue-eyed boy, "Lance..."
"What?! I'm just trying to look out for you!"
*Flashback end*
Now, the five of you along with an unconscious Shiro are all on Keith's red hoverbike with the Garrison hot your trail.
Keith's driving, you're behind him, behind you is Lance, the Pidge and Shiro, and finally Hunk in the back.
Hunk's panicky voice carries through the air, "Oh man, Mr. Harris just wiped out Mr. Montgomery! No no, he's fine."
Keith speaks to you without looking back, "(y/n) hold on."
You quickly wrap your arms around his masculine chest.
'At least he isn't that mad to ignore me completely.'
"Big man lean right!"
Hunk quickly listens and leans right guiding the overworked machine to the right making it jump to another rock structure. That maneuver efficiently stops one of the two Garrison vehicles chasing you. 
Your heart is pounding realizing that you're all heading towards a cliff.
"Uhh guys?!" Hunk promptly points out what you've just been dreading. "Is that a cliff up ahead?!"
You hear the screaming of your teammates behind you and Keith leans forward forcing you to do the same. He grips and twists the handlebars making the bike speed up while confirming Hunk's question.
"Yup."
You don't even have to look at him to know he has that hot stupid smirk on his face.
'Damn it. My heart just skipped a beat, and it's not because we're falling off a cliff.'
Lance continues to scream at Keith.
"What are you doing?! You're gonna kill us all!!"
Not giving Keith the time to respond, you answer Lance with your own yell while squeezing your eyes shut and squeezing Keith even tighter.
"Lance just shut up and trust him!"
Smoothly maneuvering his bike, Keith "lands" back on solid ground and zooms away.
You guys were alive.
Barely.
But that's beside the point.
(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist
Save Shiro✔️
Almost get caught by the Garrison✔️
Almost die falling off a cliff✔️
Feel Keith's masculine chest✔️
--
You, Shiro, and Keith look at the sky as the sun begins to rise.
Once again, you blank out as you try to wrap your head around what had happened in the past few hours, missing Shiro and Keith's conversation and Shiro calling out your name.
 "(-/n)"
"(y/n)"
"(y/n)!"
A sudden shake of your shoulder snapped you back into reality, making you turn your head towards Shiro who was looking at you worriedly and Keith who was looking down and his feet.
'Ah.'
'He's still upset.'
"Are you feeling okay (y/n)?" Shiro asks worriedly.
You look up at him, with a smile on your face and you cheerfully answer his question.
"Ahh Shiro, you haven't changed, always acting like a dad huh? If anything I should be asking you that question!"
His face showed mild surprise but then he chuckled and ruffled your hair making you squeal. 
"You haven't changed much either (y/n). I'll be heading inside, are you two okay out here or are you gonna follow?"
Once again your focus falls on the rising sun.
"Nah, I think I'll just stay here for a bit longer. I can meet you guys in there a bit later."
"Okay, just be careful. You Keith?"
"I think I'll stay here a bit longer too. You can go meet up with the others."
You inwardly flinched. The two of you were going to be alone.
"Alright, I'll head back inside."
Now, it was just the two of you.
A light breeze past by, and you shivered. It was only then you realized you didn't have a jacket.
'I guess I didn't realize it was cold with everything going on.'
Your thoughts were once more interrupted by something getting draped around your shoulders.
Your eyes widened and you look over your shoulder to see Keith looking away from you now only in his black v-neck shirt. 
You bashfully look away as you hold the collar of his jacket close so it stays on your shoulders, with your left arm hugging your body to keep the warmth. You mutter a quiet thanks only to have been met with silence.
It was like that for a while, until you couldn't help but speak.
"Keith I can-"
"Why were you with them?"
With your body now turned as to get a good look at him, you frowned as you process his question and because he still wouldn't look at you.
"Keith, they're my team, even if I didn't want to, I'd still go anyway. They're my best friends Keith you have to understa-"
"Are we not a team? Are we not best friends?"
You visibly irk as you get interrupted yet again.
"I never said that."
"You were thinking it."
"Dammit Keith! Let me talk!"
The purple-eyed boy finally turns to look at you with an agitated look on his face.
"Why should I?! You'll just leave like how everyone else did! It won't matter."
Frankly, you were hurt. Did he really think that you'd just leave him after years of memories and a childhood of growing up alongside each other? But, you understood why he was so upset. He was scared. 
Not wanting to lose your childhood friend and your first love, you try and defuse the situation. 
"Keith, I understand why you're so agitated right now, it's okay, I understand, I know-"
"Know what (y/n)?! You know nothing! You don't know anything! You don't understand anything!"
It's a good thing the both of you were at a far enough distance away from his shack.
He slowly walks towards you waving around his hands and arms to show how agitated he really was.
"What made you think you knew anything?!"
"Our friendship! Our trust! Our bond! Our everything Keith! Did any of that even matter to you?!"
"I don't think it mattered to you! If it did, you wouldn't have abandoned me! Especially since this was important to me!"
You couldn't believe your damn ears. You scoffed before yelling back, not caring about the tears starting to fall.
"I didn't fucking abandon you Keith! And don't you dare think that this thing was only important to you! Shiro means just as much to me and much as he does to you!"
"Then why the hell did you not show up?!"
"For God's sake, I was sleeping! Call it a lame excuse I don't care! Keith, I'm tired. Every single fucking day we're out till fucking daybreak. On top of that, I have class! I have training! It's fine for you because you don't even go to school anymore! You can sleep all day then explore all night! Me? I run every single day with less than four hours of sleep. It's a fucking blessing to even get one. I understand that you're scared! Cause I am too! We grew up together Keith! Do you know how devastated and worried I was after you got expelled?! I thought that was the end for us! Here you are yapping that you have it rough, that I abandoned you, and some other bullshit while I have it just as bad!"
        Your voice was raw and cracking, tears streaming down your face, eyes starting to puff up, but at this point you didn't care. You didn't care if the others could hear you, you didn't care that Keith stopped yelling, you didn't care that his eyes finally softened and weren't sharp and spiteful anymore, you didn't care.
        You didn't care because you felt your heart break. You want him to know. You want him to know how much you struggle every day, but most of all you want him to know how much you cared. You want him to know how much you care for him even if he doesn't really understand right now, even if he doesn't care for you as much as you do you, or if he doesn't care for you the way you want him to. You wanted him to know that you loved him. Him and only him. Even at the risk of rejection.
"(y/n)..."
"No! I listened to you, now you listen to me Keith Kogane! I understand that I hurt you! I understand that you have trust issues and that you don't want anyone to get too close only for them to leave, I understand! You don't want me to be another repeat of the people in the past; your mom, your dad, Shiro! I understand more than you think! I care about you so much so Keith...please."
At this point, Keith looked like he was going to cry too, and Keith never cries in front of you anymore.
"(Y-y/n) I-I didn't know. I-I'm sor-"
You stop him right there.
"Keith, you have nothing to apologize for. You didn't know cause I didn't tell you, I never wanted to tell you but but oh my God fuck. Keith, it's because I love you!"
There. It's out in the open. No going back now.
"I love you more than friends, more than best friends, more than siblings, Keith I love you with all of my heart! And it hurts so much seeing you like this. I don't need you to love me back, what I need you to do is to trust me. To trust me with everything you've got because there's no way in hell I'm going to get up and walk away from your life. I will always be there for you. I'm your best friend. Through thick and remember?"
You're choking on your own words, and your voice trembled with every other word you've said but it doesn't matter now. You did it. You confessed. Maybe now, your heart can be at peace.
You look up at the boy you've grown to love and you take a good look at him. His long dark locks, his captivating purple eyes, everything. 
You take a good look because you believe that this is going to be the last good one you'll have. The last one before he'll shy away from you. But that's okay. It's okay because you'll always be there for him even if he won't be there for you.
You remove his jacket from your shoulders and gently take his hands placing the jacket into them. You feel his eyes on you and you look up at him placing a gentle smile on your features. You watch as his tear-streaked face looks at yours with so many emotions. More emotions than you've ever seen on him. 
Your hands never left his and with one last act of bravery, you lean up and kiss his cheek. 
You gently pull your hands out of his, and turn towards his shack.
You turn around and bravely smile at him and say, "I'll be heading back inside now okay? If you need anything, you know who to find." 
You turn back around and you slowly walk away with one of your hands covering your mouth to cover up your soft sobs. You just really wanted a hug, and you plan on getting four big ones.
As for Keith, Keith can't seem to move.
Don't get mixed up, no no he isn't frozen because he couldn't believe his best friend just confessed to him.
Well actually that was one of the reasons, but that's not important right now.
Your confession and love? Oh boy, he thought that was only a crazy, hopeless dream. Something that he could've never thought would happen.
Let's face it, the boy's in love with you.
Head over heels really.
How could he not be?
You were a godsend in his eyes. You were kind to basically person that you've met, you're compassionate, you're intelligent, and so much more. Your good looks were only a bonus. And one of the most important things was that you were always there. 
You were there to defend him, you were there to comfort him, you there to just be with him.
You were always there. You were there when he cried over his mom, you were there when his dad died, you were there when he found out about Shiro. You were right, the two of you went through thick and thin.
Getting back to the point, he couldn't seem to move was because he hurt you.
Yes, Keith can be an ass, but he's always made sure not to accidentally hurt you in any way shape, or form, but he did.
Seeing you with Lance, Hunk, and Pidge hurt. It stung like hell, but after what just happened, he knowing what he just did hurt far worse, but it hurt just a little bit more realizing that you would've probably planned on not letting him know about your struggles and pain ever. But, something changed, something changed your mind, so you told him.
Just like you wanted, you put your feelings and inner turmoils out in the open, and now he knows. 
Seeing you standing there, pouring your feelings out to him voice raw and filled with emotions tears rapidly falling down your face, your trembling body, it, it was just too much for him.
And after you said that if he needed something, anything, he could go find you; it made him realize how he truly doesn't deserve you.
Yes, he has thought of it before. He can't help it with what seems like every single person in existence telling you that he's bad news or their doubts of him, and with his own insecurities. Truth be told, their words always end up right back into his head, no matter how long it's been.
"Stay away from Kogane"
"Don't get mixed up with that troublemaker."
'You don't deserve her.'
"(y/n) is that guy really your friend? He seems like he's a cold person."
"(y/n) that guy is trouble! Why do you hang out with him?!"
'She's too good for you.'
"Seriously, how are you (y/n)'s bestest friend?!"
"I always tell her to stay away! You're a bad influence on her!"
But even with all those words meant to scare you away, you stayed. He couldn't help but remember the words you told him long ago.
"Are you dumb?! I'd never leave you Keith! We'll go through thick and thin together remember?!"
It was then when Keith made his decision.
--
You were almost at the front door. Surprisingly not one of the four boys three actually, but you didn't know that yet checked outside after all that yelling. Not like they heard any of it
You were lost in your thoughts. Thoughts about Keith, your past, your pain, who would give the most comforting hug right now probably Hunk when someone I wonder who it could be grabbed your wrist and tugged you back so you would be facing him.
Knowing who it was you kept your eyes shut as if you didn't, you knew you were going to cry.
But Keith was stubborn. You of all people know that better than anyone.
"(y/n) look at me."
Keith was stubborn but it didn't mean that you weren't too.
Keith's voice cracked.
"(y/n) please."
Your resolve wavered, and it seems your hesitation was obvious as Keith softly spoke, "You don't have to say anything, I just want you to hear what I have to say."
You hesitantly opened your eyes and you could already feel your eyes watering again.
Keith's entire being seemed to deflate soften at your state.
"Okay, I know I don't deserve you, much less deserve you taking your time to listen to me right now but I just want you to know that I love you."
Your eyes widened. You weren't sure what you were expecting but it certainly wasn't that.
"Keith, if you're just saying that to-"
"(n/n) I promise you that I'm not just saying it because you said it to me. I'm saying it because I truly do love you."
Your voice was stuck in your throat and you gently shake off his hold on your wrist. You opt for wrapping your arms around yourself.
Your glassy eyes showed confusion and panic.
"I-I don't understand," you shakily argued.
"(y/n) you've always been there for me and that's something I will always be grateful for, and it's one of the many reasons why I fell for you."
You didn't respond. Instead, you continued to listen to him. You listened to him because he was allowing himself to be vulnerable.  Even Keith was surprised by his own actions. Yes, times and times again has this broken boy show you his vulnerability, but he always made the effort to do so in a private setting.
Not right outside his door with his brother figure and three strangers waiting for him inside.
Keith gently tilts his head, "(y/n)..."
"Thank you. Thank you so much."
You softly gasped, not expecting the purple-eyed boy to give you his thanks.
From your angle you see a small smile on the boy's face which make your eyes water even more than they already have and your tears once again fall down your face, but at a slower speed.
"I will always appreciate you, and I will always be grateful for all the things you've done for me growing up. I love you. I love you so much, but I'm so sorry that I've been hurting you all this time. I understand if you'd rather go out with Lance seeing as he looks out for you-"
You cut him off with a tight hug that is filled to the brim with love, affection, and warmth. So much warmth. Keith is remain frozen not knowing what to do.
He wants to hug you so badly, but remains from doing so because he doesn't want to hurt you again, but he hears you mumble something that gives him so much reassurance, so much that he forgets all about his insecurities involving you.
"It's okay, Keith. We're okay."
With that, Keith's eyes start to glisten and he gives in and just lets go of reality for a moment to hug you. To hug you and let his tears fall because he knows he's safe with you.
That you are his home and he is yours in return. 
--
(y/n's) Mental Bullshit Checklist
Release and spill all your feeling onto best friend✔️
Act like a crybaby in front of your best friend✔️
Confess to your best friend✔️
Think you get rejected by best friend✔️
Find out your feelings are reciprocated ✔️
--
omake!! :D
"Are you two getting inside or not?! We kinda have an alien problem on our hands!!"
You and Keith jolt out of your hug not expecting to be interrupted by your team pilot at such a vulnerable bonding moment. The both of you turn your heads to see Lance sticking himself out the window shaking his fist into the air as if he was an old geezer yelling at little kids to get off his lawn.
You see Keith visibly irk and you sweat drop seeing Lance duck back inside closing the window letting out a small shriek.
"Remind me to stab him later."
You look up at the boy who's still glaring at the now closed window and softly chuckle before letting out a small "don't" but a teeny weensy small side of you secretly not minding the planned assault.
You hoped Lance knew how dodge. 
--
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ribbondee · 2 years
Text
Hetalia Chatfic I made a long time ago
Due to the Corona outbreak, the nations have to resort to doing world meetings online. It goes about as well as any other meeting- chaotic and full of Iggy and 'Murica arguing.
>England has joined the chat<
>GreatestAmericanHero has joined the chat<
England: Oh please. You just HAD to, didn't you?
GreatestAmericanHero: what
>Italy has joined the chat<
GreatestAmericanHero: north or south
Italy: South, can't you tell?!
GreatestAmericanHero: yep definitely south
>Россия has joined the chat<
Россия: Здравствуйте
GreatestAmericanHero: Hey China!
England: THAT'S RUSSIA YOU TWIT!
GreatestAmericanHero: i know i just wanted to see your reaction :P
England: Will you stop that?
GreatestAmericanHero: stop what
England: THAT! Talking with no punctuation or capital letters! This is a FORMAL event.
GreatestAmericanHero: make me
Italy: Will you two stop it?!
Россия: Я люблю смотреть, как они дерутся
>France has joined the chat<
France: Bonjour my lovlies!
GreatestAmericanHero: i thought you hated computers
France: I do, but I really don't have a choice here.
>China has joined the chat<
China: Am I late?
England: Actually no. We're really just getting started. We're waiting for everyone to show up before we do any discussing.
GreatestAmericanHero: awww man i have to wait to show off my new plan
England: What is it this time? Putting sunglasses on the sun to reduce global warming?
GreatestAmericanHero: ...
England: OH. MY. GOD. YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS. I know you, and you're not THAT outrageous! Since WHEN did this make sense to you?
GreatestAmericanHero: last night when me and colorado were baked i thought it would be funny to present it
England: Did you just say baked? YOU WERE GETTING HIGH INSTEAD OF DOING YOUR JOB?!
GreatestAmericanHero: oh like you haven't done it before
France: Please... let's not fight
Россия: да давай бороться
England: STAY OUT OF THIS FROG
>Germany has joined that<
Germany: Did I miss something?
>Japan has joined the chat<
Japan: Konnichiwa. It's a pleasure to be here.
>Italy2 has joined the chat<
Italy2: Veee, it's so good to see everyone!
>Mapleboi has joined the chat<
>Mapleboi has left the chat<
Italy: Who the Hell was that?
GreatestAmericanHero: no idea
GreatestAmericanHero: hey guys how about we do facetime *turns on webcam*
*the webcam image shows America sitting in front of his computer at a desk. Little does he know, he had forgotten about the mirror on the opposite side of the room, which shows that he's sitting with no pants on*
England: That's it, I'm leaving
>England has left the chat<
GreatestAmericanHero: what *sees what made him leave on the screen* shit *turns off webcam*
>GreatestAmericanHero has left the chat<
China: Ok? Guess we're done then?
>China has left the chat<
Italy2: But I wanted to show off my latest pasta creation T_T
Italy: Literally no one here cares.
France: As a gourmet chef I'll gladly take a look :D
Italy: Whatever
>Italy has left the chat<
Italy2: Now I can go over to France's house and show him what I made!
Germany: NOT without my supervision. I don't trust France to not try anything.
France: MON DIEU! Not everything I do has to be sexual you know!
>Germany, France, and Italy2 have left the chat<
Japan: So it's just us then, Russia-san?
Россия: Теперь, когда мы одни, ты станешь одним со мной?
>Japan has left the chat<
Россия: :(
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rjhpandapaws · 3 years
Text
Strictly Professional Feelings
Ch 3: A Comprehensive Guide to (Not) Surviving Staff Meetings
It didn’t take Hank any more than a week to settle in to his new job. Desk jobs didn’t change much even if the technology had. His office was more comfortable now, he had decorated the room space with a couple of plants and he had pictures of Cole and Sumo on his desk. He had brought in a chair that was kind to his old injuries, and just like he had at the precinct he operated under an open-door policy. Working at AME was definitely an experience. Other than working for someone considerably younger than the average CEO, the whole place seemed to have a relaxed atmosphere. The business office at the very least didn’t seem to have a dress code. It almost reminded him of a college campus. The policy seemed to be that as long as the work got done how it was done didn’t really seem to matter. The bullpen was loosely divided into departments, but even then it wasn’t strict and Hank certainly couldn’t tell when one ended and another began. Every one seemed to work well together which made things easier. His department had a problem child of course, but that came with the territory. His went by the name of Gavin Reed. He was a good worker, but something always seemed to be going wrong when it came to him.
If he wasn’t accidentally breaking another computer, he was getting a visit from the CFO. Gavin dealt with most of the numbers for the business office so seeing Richard wasn’t too much a surprise, but Gavin always looked annoyed afterwards. Hank had offered to help, but Gavin made it clear he could handle it so he backed off. If he wanted to deal with it on his own that was fine. Things went smoothly after that. Hank kept to himself for the most part and helped when it was needed. He had an easy routine that of course involved avoiding Connor at all costs. A routine that was decidedly shattered about a month in. He was aware that there were monthly staff meetings; in the same sense that someone would be aware of a storm building on a distant horizon. It wasn’t an issue. yet. Not until Monday when he was staring down the email reminder for the meeting that Friday. Objectively speaking, it wasn’t that big of a deal; but he tended to lose brain function around Connor and he wasn’t exactly to make a fool of himself in front of his colleagues. So he settled into his desk and got to work with his fingers crossed that something would come up before Friday.
Nothing came up, Hank wasn’t that lucky. So Friday afternoon he made sure he had everything he needed before he headed up. The conference room was the same as any other he had seen.  There was a long wood table down the middle of the room with office chairs on either side, glass walls, a projector; all the usual fanfare. Much to his surprise he was the third person there, and Connor wasn’t among the small group. Josh and Silas were seated close to the door. Hank walked by them with a wave and took a seat a little farther from the door. He sat back and leaned his cane against the table where it would be out of the way. Richard came in about ten minutes later with a blonde Hank’s hadn’t met in toe. They took seats on the far side of the table closest to the projector on one side. Markus came in next and took the seat  on the other side of the projector. Connor was the last one to show up. He came in just before the meeting was set to start. He had a box in his arms that looked to be completely filled with papers. His first staff meeting, and it was shaping up to be a long one. Connor set the box on the table then rolled his shirt sleeves to his elbows and leaned on the table. Hank made a point of staring at the blank projector screen. This was definitely going to be a long meeting.
“Alright.” Connor said as he moved to close the door to the conference room, “Let’s get this started.” He settled back at the head of the table and tapped the box, “These are damage reports that were printed and left outside of my office out of spite.” Hank watched Silas wither a little and grew curious. This had obviously begun well before Hank got hired. Whatever it was couldn’t have been too serious because Richard and Markus were both sharing a look of mild amusement. “I just wanted you to have an idea of how many things my department has had to repair.” Silas replied, in a tone that wasn’t quite casual, “It’s close to the end of the fiscal year and I don’t want to be put on the hook for expenses that aren’t mine. Again.” “They are your responsibility though.” Connor raised a hand when Silas tried to cut in, “I’m aware that most of these aren’t your fault. Between questionable downloading practices and coffee related... mishaps; but your department is in charge of fixing them. I’ve talked to Gavin already, so next year should be easier on you.” He picked up the box and walked to set it on the table beside Silas, “Save a forest next time and send an email.
“There goes the R and D budget.” Silas muttered dryly. “With that done, let’s get on to department reports. Who wants to got first?” It was officially time for the boring stuff to begin. Hank did his best to pay attention after he gave his own report, but he could only listen to figures and statistics for so long before boredom set in. He wasn’t the only one that wasn’t giving this his whole attention. Everyone else also looked like they were only half listening to Richard. Hank would give it to him though, he was definitely thorough. Before the meeting ended Richard spoke up again, “I’ve been running numbers; we could set up a yearly repair budget for each department.” he explained, “IT will cover up to a certain amount each year, not including department wide replacements, and after that it’s up to the department the computer came from.” It was an attempt at keeping the peace. Every conversation Hank had been paying attention to would come back to this eventually. Silas looked to actively consider it. Which was the most ground covered on this the entire course of the meeting. “Sure.” He agreed, “How soon can you have it confidently laid out.”
Richard looked down to the small stack of papers Hank had originally believed to be notes, “The end of next year, assuming things go well.” Silas gave a slow nod, “Does that sound alright to you Connor?” “As long as I don’t wind up with another box full of paper right outside my office door you two can resolve this however you like.” He replied, “Just send it to me once it’s done so I can implement it properly.” With that the meeting finally seemed to be finished and they began to pack up. Hank took his time because he was still trying to process the odd mix of sibling rivalry and business jargon he had spent the last two and a half hours listening to. When he finished he noticed that Connor seemed to be waiting for him. “Do you have a minute to talk Hank?” He asked, “I just want to check in.” “Uh, yeah.” He replied as he made his way to the door, “I’ve adjusted alright. This place is a lot more calm than my old precinct.” Connor laughed, “I would hope so. So nothing is giving you any trouble then?” He walked with Hank toward the elevators, “The first month can be a bit rough.”
Hank shook his head, “Other than Gavin’s shit luck with computers everything has been fine.” “Oh, good then. I’m glad you’re doing well.” He replied as Hank hit the call button, “Hopefully the computer issue will be resolved with this.” “Hopefully.” He agreed. Connor nodded and stepped away as the elevator doors opened, “Alright, see you at the next meeting then.”  “Yeah.” Hank said after a moment, “See you then I guess.” He stepped into the waiting elevator and let out a breath once the doors had closed. Hank honestly thought he would have out grown his awkward phase by now. The last time he’d had it this bad was with Ezra, and Cole was the only good thing to come out of that. Apparently he wasn’t too old to make the same mistake twice. At the very least he had another four weeks to figure out how he was going to survive the next staff meeting.
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untowonder-gone · 2 years
Note
♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? ⚜ How many people do you not like? ☀ What's your rp pet peeve? ☢ What fads/trends are you so over? ❀ What has made you completely lose your chill? ♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?
the salty af munday meme ; accepting
Tumblr media
♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?
Mildly annoying? I guess, transitioning from LJ / DW rp to tumblr rp? It was pretty awkward for a time, as tumblr rp is very different from journal rp, which was closer to forum rp, but nothing like email rp. But I enjoy making icons, so the graphics part wasn't so bad. And the overall freedom to explore a character and build upon a preestablished world, etc. wasn't too overwhelming. I guess it was just the stylization, when it comes to how we're all supposed to be hella fancy and aesthetic that really got to me. Hunting for an open un was a very inconvenient affair.
I try to take things in stride, so I do my best to just ignore shit that does bug me over much. Though, for a while, with container blogs, just not being friendly for people with dyslexia like me. Or super small font. Or people who use obnoxious spacing and so-called fancy font. Like I said, it's not friendly for dyslexic persons.
⚜ How many people do you not like?
I have distanced myself from anyone I dislike.  I am incredibly fond of the block button,  if you must know.  But,  just to answer the question  :
There are a few people I rather dislike.  One person I would almost say I truly despise, loathe entirely. One person forced a ship on me, demanded I use a white FC for my very Asian character, and used to attempt to force me to cheat on my spouse with him. Another person actually caused me and my spouse to break up, but I really don't like discussing that. And the last person, the one I truly despise, is someone I will not openly discuss on this blog or any other.  I might be coaxed into talking about it over IMs or discord,  but I’d like to put the past behind me.
☀ What's your rp pet peeve?
I personally double space between punctuation marks and quotation marks to better my reading experience, as it assists with my dyslexia. So, I normally have no problem with adding some extra space between words and such. I get it, it's aesthetic. On the other hand, overly space words and add in a bunch of unnecessary punctuation marks or symbols actually makes it incredibly hard for me to read, let alone understand what I'm looking at. It either starts to blur together or just becomes this blob that I cannot compute.
☢ What fads/trends are you so over?
I love to make a very pretty border for my icons, like that isn't obvious, but I also just don't care for this sudden trend of cramming a dozen little symbols or images together to create the icons border. They look too busy, and sometimes make it difficult to actually look at the icon itself. I'm also not a fan of how border styles basically have to change every other week to keep up with the trends. Like you do you or whatever, but it's not for me.
❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?
I hate callouts. Like, if this shit can be solved over disco, ims, whatever the fuck, then be a grown ass adult and solve your issues. But I swear to god, some of yall will just callout someone because they're using a FACECLAIM that you're attached to. Get over yourself, move on. That isn't to say all callouts are bad. If you're out here trying to inform someone about a real predator hiding among the rpc, I totally understand. But, trust me, after escaping the hellhole of the Fate rpc, I honestly cannot stand callouts.
♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?
Everyone is very sweet. Or, at least, everyone I have met so far, and those I've interacted with. There is an underlying sense of elitism, but that's pretty common with any fandom, and I'm too old to care.  I also do separate myself from the over all fandom.  I generally do that with any fandom.
But,  leaning into the rp community only  :  everyone has thus far been pretty welcoming, and I am really enjoying just watching people interact or gush about these characters, and seeing people really start reaching out and researching topics that hold some sway over their muses. For instance, I love seeing people look into Welsh / Irish fae, and finding the differences in them and how their muse might be affected by this or that.  And,  obviously,  I really adore this Alice in Wonderland and Alice’s Adventures Through the Looking Glass revival I’m seeing.  It’s very cute watching others pull from the books over the disappointing live action films,  that aren’t the amazing BBC Through the Looking Glass film that came out years ago.
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firefly464 · 4 years
Text
The Real World - Chapter 9
:insert eyes emoji here because shits about to get real:
@i-have-this-now​ wrote the last part because she’s great and amazing and wonderful :D
Master Post
First - Previous - Next
~~~
Wilbur sat in his office, staring at his computer screen in dismay. It had been roughly a week since him and Tubbo had gone and visited Tommy. Roughly a week since his friend's panic attack. A week since Tommy had started acting differently. His friend had been acting secretive all week, almost terrified in a strange way. He acted as if no one could see the way he flinched at loud noises, or the fearful look in his eyes whenever someone came too close. He had fumbled around with the phone, as if not even knowing how to use it. He had talked to Dream in an almost pleading tone, begging for… something, and Will didn’t know what it was. He had never seen his friend acting like that before. 
His hand traced over the long scar on his arm that Tommy had given him during his panic attack. He didn’t blame his friend at all for the wound, in fact it was mostly his own fault for trying to comfort him. At that moment, it had been clear that Tommy hadn’t actually been seeing him. He had seen someone, or something else. In Wilbur’s concern for his friend, he had reached out to comfort him, despite the fact that he knew it was a bad idea. 
His stupidity had earned him a long, jagged cut down the side of his forearm from the pencil that Tommy had been wielding as a weapon. He had jerked back with a hiss of pain. “Get the fuck away from me! I won’t let you hurt anyone else!” Tommy had screamed. 
Tubbo took a small step forward, his hands out in front of him comfortingly “Tommy, you’re ok, I promise. No one is going to hurt you.” His voice was soft and calm, as if he was talking to a wild animal. Based on the look in Tommy’s eyes, it wasn’t too far off from the truth. 
Tommy’s blue eyes had snapped over to Tubbo, as if trying to figure out what he was supposed to do. “Tubbo? Tubbo you need to run! He’s going to kill you, he’s going to fucking kill you and burn our home to the ground!” 
“Hey, it's all right. I’m fine, see? No one is going to kill me.”
Desperately, Tommy grabbed his friend's shoulders, trying to get it through Tubbo’s head that he needed to run. “You don’t get it. H-He’s going to kill all of you. You need to find the others and warn them. I can’t… I can’t fucking lose you.”
“Tommy, take a deep breath. You’re safe. I promise that we’re both safe.”
“But Dream-” he shuttered, a wave of sobs running through him, “God this is my fault. Why the fuck did I listen to him? Now you’re all going to fucking die because of me!” 
Wilbur stared intently at the scar on his arm, trying to figure out what the hell Tommy had meant. Clearly, Dream had done something to him. But what? What had he done that was so terrible, it had caused the boy to collapse over a simple video clip? Will had rewatched the clip several times, trying to pinpoint exactly what could have possibly triggered the terrible PTSD. He had found nothing.
After WIlbur and Tubbo had left Tommy’s house, it had seemed like things were slowly but surely returning back to normal. Tommy had quickly gone from acting as if he knew nothing about the world around him or how to do anything, to slowly but surely returning to his old, chipper self. Even so, it didn’t feel right. Something was still wrong. His jokes all felt forced, his smiles all fake. Whenever they were in a call together, his words all felt carefully planned out, as if he were scared of saying something wrong. No one brought up his outburst, but it was clear that they were all thinking about it. 
At one point, Tubbo had hesitantly suggested that Tommy get on the DreamSMP, clearly scared of triggering another panic attack. 
However, Tommy had just gone silent, before very quietly saying, “What…?” His voice had been filled with a hesitant hope. Hope for what, Will didn’t know. But it was something that he hadn’t heard in his friend's voice all week, and he wasn’t going to question it. 
“The SMP? The server?” “How do I… How do I do that?” He had asked quietly.
Tubbo had ended up walking his friend through the entire process of getting online, never once asking why or sounding annoyed. It was clear how important this was to Tommy, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to ruin it by teasing. 
As Tommy had logged onto the server, the discord call was silent. No one spoke as he spun in a slow circle, taking in everything around him. Not a word was muttered as he cautiously moved around. The only sound that could be heard were the quiet sobs being picked up by his mic.
“Home…” He had whispered quietly, the sound just barely loud enough to be picked up over discord. 
God, none of it made any sense. None of it made any damn sense, and just thinking about it made Wilbur’s head hurt. Tommy acted as though he was an entirely different person. At first, Will had just attributed his strange behavior to PTSD. A strange way of coping after whatever hell he had gone through. But now… Now he wasn’t so sure. Tommy was recovering far too quickly for it to be merely PTSD. So what the hell was going on? He needed to talk to Tubbo. They needed answers.
~~~
The next day, Tommy was sitting in front of his computer, staring at the walls of L’manberg. Looking at it made his chest hurt with homesickness, but it was his only connection to his old life. It may not have been as impressive as the real thing, but it was still beautiful in its own right. Ever since the others had shown him the server, he had spent most of his time on it. He hadn’t exactly done anything, but simply walking around the familiar lands of his home felt calming. 
A ring sounded from his computer, making him jump. It took him a couple seconds to calm down enough to register that it was only an incoming call, and not any sort of attack. With a slightly trembling hand, he answered. 
Silence. “Hello?” he asked, trying to see what was going on. 
“Hey Tommy.” Tubbo’s voice was reserved, almost nervous in a way. Tommy could feel his muscles tense. The last time he had heard his friend speak like this was during the war. Something had happened. Something must have happened.
“What's wrong? Are you ok? Did something bad happen?” he asked, trying to figure out what was going on. 
“What? No, no. We just uh… We just wanted to ask you something.”
“I mean, go for it…? Are you sure everything is alright?” 
“We’re fine. Tommy, I want you to answer me honestly, got it?” Wilbur’s voice cut interrupted his rampaging thoughts. Thoughts of how his friends were hurt. Thoughts of what had gone wrong. Thoughts of how Dream might have gotten to them… “Tommy, what happened to you?”
“I told you already. I don’t remember,” he replied half heartedly, his mind elsewhere. 
“I think we all know that isn’t true. Tommy, what did Dream do?”
That brought his train of thought to a screeching halt. What did they know? How did they figure it out? What had he done wrong? “W-what? What do you mean?” 
“Alright, I’ll let you in on a little secret. Tommyinit wasn’t this shit of a liar. He was bad at it, yeah, but at least he could lie without sounding like a moron. I’m going to ask this once, and I expect a straight answer. Who the hell are you?” 
Tommy felt like his blood had frozen in his veins. They knew, they fucking knew. Dream was going to kill him. Dream was going to follow through with his threat. “I uh, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Wilbur ran a hand through his hair. “Alright. If you aren’t going to give us a straight answer, I might as well ask Dream himself.”
“NO!” He screamed. If Will went and asked Dream, then Dream would think that Tommy had snitched. Then, who knows what would happen. “Please don’t talk to Dream about it. Please.” 
Will had already left the call.
~~~
“Yeah, you’re right, chat. Hold on let me check if he’s online,” Eret said, switching browsers from Minecraft to Discord. “Yep, he’s in VC 3 with Tubbo.” 
Eret clicked on the voice chat. He tried to talk yet Tubbo cut him off. “Oh fuck, we aren’t in a private VC.”
“Sorry, a wha-”
“Er… Hello?” Eret said. The two of them suddenly stopped talking. “So, what’re you two up to?”
“...Eret?” Tommy said, it sounded more like a statement than a question.
“Am I intruding on something? I can go if you’d like.” Eret replied, hoping to lighten the tension on the situation. Eret’s twitch chat was going insane, spamming questions and shouting. Eret wasn’t really focused on the chat.
“Hold on, I think we should go to a privat-” Tubbo spoke but was cut off.
“No, that- that’s not right- I- you fucking-” Tommy started, and was immediately removed from the VC. Tubbo also exited the VC seconds after.
“It is actually getting a bit late here so I guess it’s time to end the stream.” Eret tried to make an excuse to end the stream. “I’ll see you later guys. I love you all so much, thank you for all the support this stream. I think I’m gonna be streaming tomorrow? Still not sure. Anyways, I’ll see you guys later. Peace.” 
He quickly exited Twitch and stopped streaming. Tommy sounded… mad? Upset? Scared? Eret didn’t know. He opened Discord and sent a message to Tommy. 
TheEret Today at 8:52 pm
You alright? 
He instantly got a Discord notification back, but it wasn’t from Tommy. 
Tubbo_ Today at 8:52 pm
can we private VC?
TheEret Today at 8:53 pm
sure
The second he sent the message, he got a call from Tubbo. “Hey, Eret.” Tubbo said. “I… I don’t think Tommy’s feeling too well. I’m really not sure what happened.”
“Oh god. Is he okay?” Eret asked, concern creeping into his voice. 
“I- hold on, I’ll dm him and see if he wants to talk.” 
“Alright.”
A few seconds passed. “Oh. Oh no.” Tubbo said.
“Wait, did something happen? What’d he say?” 
“He’s very… mad at you. I- Oh jeez, that’s a lot of messages- I don’t know what he’s talking about.”
“Do you think it’s because of the SMP? I- you know it was just a bit, right?” Eret asked. Surely, Tommy can’t be mad at him because of a video game right?
“Yeah, yeah, but he’s… he sounds pissed, man. I don’t know wha- Oh. Shit, hold on, he wants to be added in the call. You okay with that?”
Honestly, Eret wasn’t sure. “Uh- yes?”
“Eret.” Tommy’s voice rang through the call. His voice was quiet and stable, unlike his usual self. “What the fuck.”
“I- I’m sorry? I don’t know what I did wrong. Was it the SMP? You know that was a-”
“You could’ve been on the right side of history, Eret. You could’ve-” 
“Tommy, calm-”
“Instead, you chose to loot us and leave us for dead. You chose power. You chose to be with Dream.”
Wait, were they supposed to be in character? Eret just ended his stream, so was Tubbo streaming? Or was it something else?
He immediately switched into character, hoping it was the right move. “Well, it wasn’t hard for me to choose. You were fighting for something futile, something you didn’t guarantee. I chose Dream because you were fighting a losing battle, and I didn’t want to get the short end of the stick.”
Whilst he was talking, Eret sent Tubbo a Discord message.
TheEret Today at 9:12 pm Are you and tommy streaming?
Tubbo_ Today at 9:12 pm no?
TheEret Today at 9:12 pm so i’m not supposed to be in character?
Tubbo_ Today at 9:12 pm uhh yeah
Before Eret could wrap his head around the situation, another person joined the call. It was Wilbur. “Dream said you have 48 hours, Tommy wh- wait, why is Eret here?”
Before Eret could respond, he was kicked from the call. He stared at his monitor in stunned silence, not entirely sure of what had just happened. Tommy had seemed so mad at him for his “betrayal,” even though none of them were supposed to be in character. Why was he so upset? And why did Wilbur react to Eret being there in the way that he did? Had he said something wrong? Was there some sort of planned stream that Eret wasn’t told about?
Eret turned off his computer with a sigh. His mind was racing with possibilities of what had just happened and why, but he wouldn’t be able to act on his thoughts until tomorrow. All he could do now was sleep.
~~~ On the other side of the country, a man sat in front of his computer. A sadistic grin sat upon his face as his green eyes pierced through the dim light. “I warned you not to tell them Tommy. Now, it's time to face the consequences of your actions.”
~~~
Master Post
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hood-ex · 4 years
Note
for the prompt thing: Dick is stressed and overworked and the titans notice
Dick’s eye was twitching. It had been twitching nonstop for the last three days and he was sick of it. The constant stream of anxiety in his gut reminded him that the twitching wasn’t going to stop until the anxiety stopped. Once he figured out how to solve that problem along with his five hundred other problems, he’d be fine. 
He pushed the thought to the back of his mind and hurried inside the Titans Tower, his dress shoes squeaking against the floor. He scowled. Damn shoes were always slowing him down. 
As soon as he got inside the elevator, he immediately kicked his shoes off against the metal wall with a bang. He pinched the heels of his shoes with his fingers and let them dangle against his thigh. He brought his other hand up towards his face and checked his watch, realizing he was supposed to lead a meeting in ten minutes with a few of the Titans that were in town this week. 
He knew his friends wouldn’t necessarily care if they started a few minutes, or hell, even a few hours later than planned, but he had other things to do tonight that he needed to work on. The quicker they got through the meeting, the quicker he could get to his fun responsibilities, like, say, having a talk with Bruce about microcellular duplication. 
The elevator buzzed. As soon as the doors opened up, Dick was immediately greeted by the sound of Wally and Roy arguing with each other. It wasn’t unusual to hear the two of them bickering about something, but this time around there was some real heat in their voices that immediately had Dick feeling wary. 
He stepped out into the room and saw Wally and Roy standing next to the large computer station. Wally had multiple papers in his hands and was looking particularly irritated with Roy. Roy was glaring right back at him for some godforsaken reason. They were too caught up in each other to be aware of Dick’s arrival. 
“When I told you I don’t know how to file these, you should have listened to me!” Roy yelled, poking Wally hard in the chest. 
“What’s there to get?” Wally yelled back, smacking Roy’s finger away. “You scan them, log the information on them into the system, and then put the paper copy in the cabinets! Even someone like you who uses Walmart to file taxes could figure it out!”
“Do you even know how many updates and shit Vic does on this thing?” Roy said, thumbing over his shoulder at the computer. “A ton. He switches programs all the time. So don’t you get all pissy at me for not being able to find the right one.” 
“Okay, okay,” Wally said, closing his eyes and taking a calming breath. “You’re right. I probably should have called Vic to deal with this instead.”
“Damn straight,” Roy nodded. He reached out and playfully whacked Wally’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “I won’t hold it against you as long as you help me figure out how to do it. It’s not like I can ask Dick since the whole point of this is to lighten his load. Not, y’know, add stress on top of his stress.”
Dick’s eyes, even the twitchy one, widened in surprise. Their fight suddenly made so much more sense now. And they were fighting... over him? Okay, well, not fighting over him, more like fighting about helping him, which was also stupid. They shouldn’t have felt like they had to do that shit when they already had so much other stuff to deal with. Dick wasn’t the only one out of all of them with multiple responsibilities. 
While he wished they hadn’t troubled themselves, he couldn’t help but feel touched by the fact that they had noticed him struggling these past few weeks. It was nice to know that they cared about him and that they were trying to do something to help him, even if their way of helping was just taking care of all the tedious paperwork stuff. Dick fucking hated paperwork. 
He could feel himself smiling fondly when he said, “Lighten my load?” The two redheads whirled around to face him, both of them looking shocked to see him. “In what context?” 
There was a moment of silence as his two friends processed his appearance. They looked from him to each other, looking very much so like the baddies who realized they’d just been caught doing something illegal. 
“Shit, man, how long have you been standing there?” Roy asked while Wally tried to discreetly put the papers back on the desk. 
Dick waved away their suspicious looks. “Just got here,” he lied. “I need to get changed and then we need to start the meeting.”
Wally groaned, throwing his head back. “Ugh. Meetings.” He walked closer to Dick and clapped him on the back with a grin. “At least while you talk we can eat the cookies Donna made for you.” 
“Donna made me cookies?” Dick asked with a raised brow. The warmth in his chest amplified by ten, making him feel all fuzzy inside. 
“Wally!” Donna shrieked, having just come into the room wearing a light blue apron covered in flour. “The cookies were supposed to be a surprise!”
“Yeah, Wally,” Roy said in a poor imitation of Donna. She marched over to him and elbowed him in the side with a sharp look. 
“Oh! Right!” Wally said sheepishly. He looked at Dick with sad puppy eyes. “Sorry, dude.”
Dick tutted. “Don’t tell me sorry, tell her.”
“Sorry, Donna.”
Donna rolled her eyes. “I guess I can forgive you as long as you promise not to eat all of them.”
“Making a speedster promise to not be a bottomless pit? That’s asking a lot, D,” Roy said with a smirk. 
“Shut it, Legolas,” Wally said in a sing-song voice. 
They threw their middle fingers up at each other at the same time. 
Dick gasped in fake horror. “What’s this? My children fighting?” He hooked his arm around Wally’s shoulders and walked him over to where Donna and Roy were standing together. He reached his arm out to corral both his friends into his and Wally’s embrace. “Sounds like it’s time for our weekly Get Along Hug.” 
“I’m older than you! If anything, I’m your dad!” Roy protested. 
“Why would you want to be responsible for all of us?” Donna said, her voice muffled against Dick’s shoulder. “We’re all disasters.” 
Dick didn’t bother reminding her that they technically were his responsibilities since he was their leader. He simply tightened his hold on all of them and laughed when Wally wiggled impatiently and whispered, “Guys, the cookies...” 
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