#sobbing and crying rn why did i think this was a good idea

[none-i5]

Monochrome and watercolor, I won't be doing that again, lET ME OUT I WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY--

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

He's not unlovable.

König x Reader.

König is not in his best moment, you never expected to hear about his past, now that you know a little, you understand why he feels in the way he feels.

Remember every ♥️ is important, thanks for your support.

Warning: I think there's not a big warning, lol, but If you're not In a good moment maybe it's not a good idea to read it rn, I'm sure I wrote it for a neutral reader but I warn you perhaps I wrote or made allusion to a fem and I didn't notice it, if I did I apologize, spelling and grammar errors.

📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

König doesn't have an easy life, you know that, he reminds you that you can leave whenever you want, not because he wants you to leave, he says it because he feels like he's not enough for you, the kind of relationship, the kind of life you share, he simply thinks you will leave one day, and he's fine with it «i prefer to see you fly away from here than keep you in a cage mein kleiner Vogel (my little bird)» «I don't have much to offer, but all I am and all my life belongs to you, Schatz», that's what he always says.

You feel a hole in your chest every time he says that, because you don't want to leave, he has been the best boyfriend you ever had, he's kind, he loves to give you little details, he's gentle with you, he sometimes acts like a little kid, and you love all those things about him, you're there when his anxiety is at the maximum level, you constantly remind him how handsome, special, smart, funny and charming he is.

You never question him about his job, you don't need to, you know the man under that mask is different to the man you have at home and still, you are sure you would love that version of him too.

You don't know much about his past, «I don't look at my past Meine Liebe, I only look at my present, my present is you and that's all I need» but lately the past has been calling to König, you know something is not okay, he has been stressed and anxious, you don't want to ask but you know he's having a hard time.

You walked to his little office at home and you could hear him on the phone, you waited outside to not interrupt him.

«I understand, but it's impossible for me to go right now (...) Ja! I know I have to make at least 2 visits per year but I can't (...) Because I can't be in the same room with her!» «Scheisse (shit)»

You knocked at the door softly and opened.

- König?

- Ja?

He was with his hands covering his face, sitting on his chair, you walked to him but without invading his personal space.

- I just... I just came to tell you that dinner is ready, do you want to eat right now or... Maybe Later?

You're trying to be gentle, he doesn't respond, he just only extended his arm, asking you to get close to him, you give him your hand, you can feel his hand sweating, once you're close enough he hugs you, his face is on your abdomen and his arms are around your waist, you Caresse his hair with your hands, you don't want to ask, you really don't want to but it seems like you need to, so in the most calmed and softest voice you try to ask him.

- What's wrong Kö? You can talk with me baby.

He sobs and you can feel hot tears on your shirt, you kneel down in front of him and hug him, his head now rests on your shoulder.

- König, my love, you're worrying me... Shhh, it's okay baby, I'm here, it's all alright, you're safe here.

Both stay like that for a moment, you let him cry, you hate to see him suffering you would burn the world just to see him smile. You managed to take him to bed, you ran to the kitchen for a cup of lavender tea, when you're back, he's laying in bed, looking at the window.

- I brought you a cup of tea...

- My mother... She's in a nursing home, they have been calling me, because I haven't visited her, last time was 2 and a half years ago.

You're still in silence, he never talked to you about his family, you don't know what to say, you sit at the end of the bed while he continues talking and looking at the window.

- I took her there a few years ago because she was diagnosed with dementia, a politic of the nursing home is to pay a visit to the patient at least a couple times every year, but I can't, it's very difficult to me, she's a reminder of how unlovable I am.

You only knew König left his home at a very young age, he never told you why and you never forced him to talk more about it.

- Why? What makes it difficult?

- I know I never tell you about my past schatz because you already have enough with all the mess I am already... When I left my house to join the army, my mother told me not to bother to come back, that's what I did, I never came back but sometimes I sent her some money and a note, I always waited to have a response, but never arrived, eventually I stopped to do it. One day the police called me, they found her in a park, she was lost, she forgot where she lived, she told the cops she was looking for his little son, they took her home and found a note with my telephone number, they said I needed to take her to a nursing home if I didn't have time to take care of her, that's what I did. I tried to visit her during her first months in that place but all those times I tried, she was yelling at me, reminding me that my father left her because of me, telling me how hard it was to have me around because all she could see in me was my dad's abandonment, that's why I stopped to try to visit her.

- Oh König...

Your tears are blinding you, but you just lay behind him, you try to spoon him and you kiss his shoulder.

- You don't need to go, don't force yourself to do something you don't want to, baby I'm so sorry all this happened to you.

- The nurse who has been calling me, says my mother has been asking for me, that my mother is 'stable' at the moment, and it would be good for her to see me... I don't know what to do schatz...

- König, look at me please...

He turned around and looked at you, you caresses his face softly and kissed his forehead, you have never seen him like this, your heart is breaking, his eyes reflect all the sadness and darkness inside him, it's a new version of him you never expected to know, but you're sure that what you're feeling is the necessity to give him all the love he deserves.

- You're not your mother's rage and you're not your father's abandonment, okay? You're better than that, you're the most amazing person I've ever met, I love every version of yourself, you're all I ever wanted and whatever you decide to do you have my support and love, I will not leave you alone, never, we will solve this together, alright?

There it is, the spark in his eyes is back, he nodded in silence and kissed you over and over again, whispering how much he loves you and how safe he feels with you at his side.

It doesn't matter how unlovable he feels sometimes, you know you will be there to show him how wrong he is.

[lanareadsbooks]

I don’t understand us

This is part two to “I’m confused about us” tho it can be read alone,

Tags: fem!reader oral(f) receiving, spanking as punishment, crying reader, no real spoilers to the show, mean!billy, no use of y/n (I can’t do it! 😭) also this is kinda short but I’m writing two other stories rn. (Also this is not proofread)hope yall enjoy!

I’m still… confused about us. You thought as the cowboy bellow you ate you out like a starving man. But as good as it felt you couldn’t help thinking about how much your ass hurt since he had just smacked the shit out of it.

Your relationship with Billy made you torn. One second he was absolutely mean to you, pulling you over his knee for doing literally nothing. didn’t fold your panties? that did it. Didn’t do your homework right? That did it. Cussing when you stumped your toe? That fucking did it,

Sometimes it made you mad how he acted “is he not man enough to just ask me to be with him?” You thought, no he’s probably the manliest man I know. Than what is it?

Knock knock knock.

You heard as Billy hit your door, he usually just opens it but yesterday he walked in on you changing, he blushed so hard, you laughed thinking about that moment. Yes? You said as you opened your door. I’ve got to go out tomorrow so I won’t be back till early morning. You sighed internally. Billy was always going out at random times. But I guess that’s better than him having a real job and being gone every day.

The first time he went out he told you

“Don’t even think about sneaking out because I will know about it” he said dominantly. You laughed it off thinking there was no way he could actually find out about it. You didn’t go far. You actually just went down to the edge of the fence like 10ft from the house and pet the horses. Sometimes you wonder why the horses were always coming and going. Never seeing the same one more than twice usually.

But of course, the minute he got home he came up to your room. Hey when did you get back- you tried to ask but were cut off.

As he grabbed your face, not harshly enough to hurt you but it wasn’t pleasant. Why can’t you just listen?! He said with a bite in his tone.

I told you to stay inside. But no. only good girls listen. Your a bad one. ain’t cha? He said, letting go of your face. His words brought tears to your eyes. While your still defiantly a ‘’brat’’ as billy calls it. Sometimes your just not in the mood to have someone upset with you.

You sigh. Looking him in the eyes. Billy I-ugh its not a big deal. I was basically 5 ft from the house.you said sighing. Not a big deal? Little girl.

I decide what’s a big deal or not. He said darkly. And I say you disobeyed me. And since you did that you earned your self a good longgg spanking. He said with a condescending smile on his face.

I- billy your so damn mean, you said slightly pouting. Mean? Oh honey, ill show you mean. He said in a scary dark tone.

And boy did he. He made you sob over his lap by using your hairbrush. When you first started crying you heard him laughing. Above you. Is this his idea of fun? Making me cry? You asked yourself. The thought of it made you mad. So you rebelliously kicked your feet, something you had never done before. This… did not make things better for you. He just started smacking your ass a bit harder.

When it was finally over he gently picked you up and put you on your bed. You were still sobbing because your bottom hurt. And you were still upset billy had laughed at you. The whole spanking thing was embarrassing enough without him laughing at you. (you were also incredibly wet)

You had turned away from him as he sat on your bed. Usually billy tried to console you a little bit. Even though he wasn’t very good at it.

But you shrugged his hand off when he placed it on your shoulder. Stop that honey. He said in a much sweeter tone than before.

No go away. you said ,your voice muffled by the fact that you had your face shoved in your pillow. Sweetheart non of this would happen if you would just obey me. I shouldn’t hav to obey you! You said shooting up from your spot on the bed. You don lemme do nothing. You said with a slight lisp in your voice from crying so hard. I- I can’t even go outside. You said in a whisper. Ugh honey. Everything I do is to protect you. I’m not exactly a loved man around these parts, and I and can’t have anyone thinking they should use you to get to me. Ok? He asked.

You sighed, ok .you agreed. But quickly turned back over into the pillow giving the illusion you were still upset at him.

Now girl. He said in a laughing tone. What is it gon take for you to forgive me?

And that’s how we ended up here. With you grinding your face down on his nose like there’s no tomorrow. He didn’t mind, he defiantly didn’t mind

But you still didn’t understand your relationship. Some nights he had his face buried deep in your cunt, and sometimes he scolded you like a child or yanked you over his knee if you upset him. I don’t understand us. But oh well.

Ok that’s part two! I really like writing for billy but I really want to write for my true love. ✨Finnick✨ I’ve been in love with his character since we first saw him. Tho I write him kinda ooc and like to go a darker route so be prepared for that lol. But comment if y’all want anything else to be added into the next part. Love y’all! #-lanawrites<3

[cypheroo]

Differing Tastes | Zane Ro'Meave ~ ♧

no request this time! little gift for being gone for long

Word count : 2,226

Tw : heavy angst (reader has a crush on Laurence and it gets found out he's dating someone else), reader is extremely sad, can be seen as self deprecating, not fully cannon

AN : SO uh haven't seen a Zane fic out (if you have drop the link rn) but i wanted to write angst. Zane came to mind mid way through and made it a fic about him PLEASE DONT GET THE WRONG IDEA I DONT HATE LAURENCE PLEASE. i just needed good angst. ALSO THIS IS RUSHED, IDK IF ILL MAKE A PART TWO??? IF YOU WANT IT ILL FOR SURE WRITE IT BUT YEAH

You were supposed to be happy for him, glad he found someone he was able to really click with! But why did it hurt so bad when he smiled so much at her? When he laughed and cooed at her? You were his best friend for so long. Laurence was your friend. He was supposed to hug you like he did her! He was supposed to cup your face as he did hers. But here you were. At the other side of the table, both of them were unable to keep their hands nor eyes off each other. You were there with Katelyn, Garroth, and a few others you couldn't bring yourself to name. You tried your best to seem happy as the two finally exposed the relationship they had, you didn't know why they rounded everyone up for something so…sigh. But even with your own jealous thoughts clouding your mind you could find many reasons they would want to take everyone out to dinner. But the moment they brought it up you felt your heart smash into so many pieces, you wanted to cry and curl up. The man who had your heart, the man you wanted more than anything in this world, the man you…loved. It really was one sided. You couldn't believe how stupid you were, thinking someone like him would ever look at you as anything more than a friend.

You sat and smiled for the two in front of you, Laurence looked at everyone, you noticed how he stopped, showing a softer much warmer smile as his gaze as he looked at you. You hated it, you hated how you could really tell it was a truthful smile, how he genuinely was so happy with the woman who sat next to him. But the moment that thought raced through your head you became overwhelmed with guilt. Everyone was so happy for them, everyone was congratulating them and here you were, mad you didn't get what you wanted…gross. You felt so gross for even allowing your personal emotions to get in the way of such a good and happy occasion. You listened to everyone's conversations, just feeling too tired (or guilty) to really join in. you tried your best to be present, to smile and nod as much as you could…you really couldn't eat so you asked for a box to put your food in, so as to not waste it. And honestly the rest of the night was a blur…you remember Travis waving you off, Dante right next to him with a smile, getting into your car, driving home, going to your room, leaving the takeout in your car, now here you are…sitting on your bed, tears streaming down your eyes, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. You looked down at your hands, you didn't feel good…you didn't feel ok. But since you were alone you allowed yourself the time to cry, to sob, even though you didn't fully understand why you were sad.

The next morning was rough, you layed in bed, eyes staring blankly forward, you had cried most of the night. You pierced together a little bit why you felt like such a mess, the thought of losing your friend? Or maybe the idea that you wasted so much time yearning for his love and turning down even the idea of going on a date or just dating anyone else? Besides, it was on you, you didn't voice your wants to him…but it was clear now he didn't feel the way you did. His eyes and heart were for someone else. You turned the other way in your bed, eyes now dry and almost unable to cry now, you cried all the tears you could, and now you lay here motionless, feeling hopeless, sad, stupid… 

It was late into the evening when you sat up, finally. Slowly you unplugged your phone to check your messages, scrolling at the various group chat messages you had received. You let out a heavy sigh, knowing you'd get overwhelmed if you went through them all, you turned off your phone again and set it on your pillow and slowly got up dragging your feet to your kitchen, making yourself a small snack. You had been crying so much you didn't remember how long you were awake or when you had slept, so after this meal you needed rest, you needed to sleep and go to work tomorrow, life wouldn't wait for you to sob and mope in your own self pity. It wouldn't let you, life would never allow you such stupid things.

The next few days went by slowly, you were barely really on your phone, clearly tired and absolutely out of it, sure you read the messages sent in the group chat, laughed at a few of the messages, sure yeah. You’ve kind of been in a limbo sure it was just a petty crush and all but it really hurt for some reason, in one swoop you felt like you lost your best friend and your crush. And god it hurt. Today you woke up as normal, maybe a little more excited than usual as you were expecting a package. So after getting ready to head out to your mailbox, you slipped on your shoes and walked outside, the sun shining nicely this afternoon, yawning you walked outside to the mailbox, opening it and pulling out the usual mail, after digging into the mailbox again to see if maybe you had missed the small package you sighed, maybe you had expected it too early? Looking back down at the mail and looking through it again you didn't see the figure walking on the sidewalk behind you. You didn't pay much mind as you knew most of the people who lived on this street. It was when you heard a small hum before you looked back, your eyes met with that Icey blue one, “rare, haven't seen you out of the house in a moment” he chuckled. You and Zane had a very odd relationship, sure it was friendly and full of teasing, but it was only as acquaintances, hell you didn't even have his number. You huffed and crossed your arms, still careful with the mail in one of your hands, “what? You've been lookin for me?” you asked with a small smile. He rolled his eyes, before he shrugged, “just stating the fact that i haven't seen you in a second” he continued, sure trying to sound again like he was teasing you but it was laced with a bit of worry. You giggled and shook your head, “well i mean I have not much left the house, so you have a keen eye” you answered before you sighed. Zane caught onto this, “why is that?” he asked without putting much thought into it, almost immediately wishing he could take it back, “if you'd like to share that is” he hurriedly continued. Becoming slightly stiff. “Oh my heart was just broken is all” you huffed overdramatically, sure telling the truth but wanting to kinda lead it on as a joke, after all it was stupid to mourn over something as trivial as this. Zane seemed visibly confused as you seemed to joke about that, to which you shook your head, “don't worry it'll get over it soon enough” you assured with a smile. Zane seemed a little more taken aback, “oh you were serious? I didn't know you were dating anyone” he said as he tilted his head slightly, the hair covering his right eye ever so slightly moving. “Oh no! No no i just ... .uhm long story short my crush got into a relationship so I'm kind of dealing with that” you attempted to explain with as little detail. No one knew of your crush on Laurence, well maybe except your roommates. They both knew full well of your feelings for Laurence and nonstop teased you, until a few days ago when they caught wind of his new relationship, then suddenly the teasing stopped.

Zane nodded as if he understood, “I hope your able to work through it, although i need to go, i cant bother to hear your sob story much longer” he said before he chuckled near the end, it was clear it was a joke and it made you chuckle a bit yourself. “Well hope to never see you again you asshole” you teased back at him as you turned to walk inside again, him continuing to walk down the sidewalk after a small huff that covered his small laugh poorly. Slowly you stepped inside and were surprised to be faced with not only one of your roommates but both of them, Lucinda smirked, “so zane?” she asked as she covered her mouth with a laugh, you were taken aback, “what about him? We were just talking” you sighed, “no no you were laughing too” Emmalyn continued off lucinda, “I could see the appeal but really? Going from laurence to zane is like changing your favorite ice cream from chocolate to vanilla” lucinda continued, you felt your face flush and you sighed, “we barely know each other, i mean i don't even have his number” you set down the mail, avoiding the two, “oh so you want his number?” Lucinda teased as you looked back at her, “No! I'm just saying” you groaned, “i'm going upstairs” you pushed passed the two and walked upstairs. Emmalyn and Lucinda looked at each other, “you think she does actually like him?” Emmalyn asked. “Nope, but he definitely feels something for her,” Lucinda laughed softly as she shrugged, “either way, nice to see her smile after these past few days” Lucinda walked away to the kitchen, leaving Emmalyn looking through the mail.

The next week or so went a little different, you were kinda moving past the idea that Laurence was happily with someone else, or you thought you did, that was until you were at the mall with Katelyn and Nicole hanging around. You were doing fine until…you saw Laurence and his girlfriend walk past. You thought you were finally over it. And before you thought it was over Nicole called them over, she knew and was close with Laurence's girlfriend and just had to say hi. You didn't blame her but god seeing their fingers interlocked and the smile on his face made you feel sick all over again. Once they walked over you smiled at the two, Laurence noting how he hadn't seen you much anymore, “sorry! Been busy, we should hang. I feel like we have lots to catch up on” he smiled. It was so clear he didn't know the pain he had caused. You tried to be present in the conversation, but before you knew it you were thinking of a time to excuse yourself. You cleared your throat before you finally said you had to run to the bathroom. once you finally rushed away you let out a heavy sigh. Finally relaxing your shoulders you didn't know were tense.

The moment you thought you were alone you heard a small covered chuckle, you looked around and were once again met with that same Icey blue gaze, “lemme guess, Laurence broke your heart?” he asked, you groaned, “stalker” you hissed as he shrugged, “i mean i work here, of course I'm gonna be here 9/10 times” he rolled his eyes. “Yeah yeah, it's Laurence” your throat tightens as you stated it out loud, “i just thought i was over him” you sighed. “I get it, seeing him again just reminded you of the pain?” His voice was gentle and softer, clearly understanding how embarrassed you were of it. “Yep” you sighed. “I mean” he sighed as he continued, “you'll find someone you're bound to” he hummed as he looked away. You shrugged, “I don't know,” you shrugged, “Well I do, just give it time, you'll find someone,” he said with a huff. “What makes you so sure? You know someone who has a little crush on me?” you smiled a little, joking of course as you looked back at him, he avoided your gaze and seemed a little panicked, “and if i did?” he asked, which surprised you, “really?” you asked as he sighed, “yeah, he just doesn't know how to approach you” he said still avoiding you gaze, you smiled a bit more, understanding what was happening. “Well next time you see him you should give him this, I'd like to ask him out for dinner sometime” you said as you pulled out a extra napkin from your pocket from the lunch you and the two girls shared, you pulled out an extra pen as well sloppily writing  your number down and handing him the napkin. He took it and seemed to relax a bit, making you giggle, “I'd like to get to know you better Zane. It'd be worth a shot.” you explained revealing the fact you knew he was only talking about himself” instead of continuing to avoid his gaze he looked back at you, “sure i guess dinner would be nice” he nodded as he pocketed the napkin. You nodded as you waved, walking away, “got to get back to Nicole and Katelyn, be safe” you turned on your heel and continued to smile at the thought of knowing more about that Zane.

tags :

[bloodyinkandquill]

Ban Hammer x Reader being comforted for their break up

sorry for how late i am rn, these ones just haven’t struck me with inspiration, tbf it’s a monday and im sitting on my bed eating an entire sleeve of saltines so… also apologies for not doing rh egobworder one yet i just have literally no ideas, especially because i need to figure out like his character, as far as i knew he was just a skin so😭 not like follower sword or heretic katana that i know have different personality’s and junk, oh and to get me more motivated to do all these requests since i have like 6 rn im probably going to write something self indulgent as a treat for myself lmao

- When Ban Hammer opened his door, he expected to see a lot of things, his close friend a sobbing mess was not one of them, he quickly ushered you in unsure of what to do, he just sorta made small movements before gesturing to the couch in invitation

- You sat down trying to form words but you couldn’t quite string them together and you just went back to crying aggressively into your hands, he sat down next to you and awkwardly pat your back, he was never the best with emotions so he was trying his best to be comforting to you

- After a couple minutes and him grabbing you a glass of water, with a crazy straw, that made you giggle through your tears, you had finally composed yourself enough to form proper sentences, you told him that your partner had suddenly broken up with you, you had absolutely no clue why, you thought you two were so happy, why did they do this? He sneered and said that they’re clearly an idiot, breaking up with you for no reason

- He did his best to comfort you as you sobbed into in shirt, thankful he wasn’t wearing his armor, as he gave you awkward pats on the back and the like, he said things you mostly didn’t hear through your cries and tears, though you did pick up on him saying that they were blind, how could anyone see you and not fall for you, they lost an amazing beautiful demon, you sniffled looking up at him, meeting his four eyes, since he only wore his blindfold in phights you saw them commonly, almost glowing with their red hue

- He realized a bit more what he said and you could see the faintest flush to his cheeks, before he said at least that’s what he thought, you looked at his face, vision still a bit blurry from your tears, and you realized just how attractive he was, you had never looked at your friend in that light, or maybe you always had but never realized it, and before you could think twice you reached up, propping yourself up on your knees grappling his face and kissing him

- All four of Ban Hammer’s eyes widened in shock but after a minute he wrapped his arms around your back before reciprocating the kiss, you had been so occupied with the relationship you were in you never realized the relationship you wanted, your friend who’d been with you for years, you kissed him for what felt like a year before pulling away to catch your breath, meeting his eyes which were a little dazed, you just stared at each other for a moment and went right back to kissing

sorry it’s so short and not that good i was working on it in small parts throughout different times of the day and like i said none of these have been super inspiring to me, my sincerest apologies for that i’ll get them done but might take some time, and my requests are closed till i get through these because there’s so many of them, alright let’s try and get another one done before i go to sleep

[phantom-of-the-501st]

And we're back!

Initial thoughts on TBB S3 Eps 1-3

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT

3x1 Confined

Final season premiere let's go!!!

Storms are never a good sign

There's creepy shit on Tantiss (crocodile thing from the trailer maybe?)

Although Hemlock counts as creepy enough

He's the creepiest thing on the whole planet 😬

Tbf there's a stunning view, it's just a shame about the prison window blocking it

CROSS IS BACK!!!

Omega blood sample? That's gotta come back later in the season!

Are these blood samples labelled? How tf does anyone know which is which??? That's just bad lab practice 🙄

Oh the weird machine knows. Nvm

"Replicate the genetic M count" and they want Omega's blood???

Nala Se is protecting Megs. Slenderbitch may actually be of some use

Force senstive Megs?

This feels like this is linking with the cloning plot in The Mandalorian

The animal welfare standards here are abysmal 😠

BATCHER?! Oh that's adorable 😍

And I thought Omegas's room was bad holy shit 😭

The grid across Cross' room is casting a crosshair on Omega's face. I love little details like that

21 tallies on wall = 21 rotations? That doesn't seem like very long

STRAW LULA?! 😭❤️

Why are there blood drips going into each sample? This seems like a contamination issue

At least 150 tallies now 😭

Subject will be terminated if they don't heal. Feels very much like the clones when they were on Kamino, which just shows how much the clones were treated like animals

"I belong here" *sobs*

Cross don't make me cry istg. I can't do this at 8am on a Wednesday 😭

Okay but the droid kind of had a point about Batcher struggling in the wild because of Omega domesticating her. One thing you learn about working in a zoo environment is that hand-reared animals have no idea how to behave like their wild counterparts and basically turn into little psychos (like you can't actually be in the same room as some of them levels of bad). That or they rely on people too much and have no idea how to fend for themselves. Either way, the droid wasn't entirely wrong

Hemlock is a bastard 😒

Omega's theme!!!

Season premiere and only two Batcher (neither of whom are Hunt or Wreck). Interesting!

1x2 Paths Unknown

Fucking Roland Durand?!

Did not expect that in episode 2 omg!

Hunter and Wrecker being mercenaries for the Durands?

Ah okay it seems to be a one off

THE GOGGLES IN THE SHIP! 😭😭😭😭

Hunt and Wreck be looking a bit scuffed

Echo and Rex mention!

They won't be available for 2 rotations? Well we're not seeing them this episode then...

Hunter's emotions are making him impulsive and that's not really a good thing

Wrecker is actually the one holding back, which is an interesting dynamic. Wrecker can see how bad Hunter is coping and is probably having to keep him in line as much as he can so that they don't lose another brother

CLONE CADETS! CLONE CADETS!

These ones actually have New Zealand accents as well

The slither vines were genetically made and got out of hand? This is what we mean by invasive species, people. Very much not good

Okay so we have one called Box and one called Stak

Are the cadets not affected by the chips? Do they only active in fully trained soldiers?

We need to get these kids to Echo and Rex

GONKY BACKPACK!!! 😆

Poor Gonky is stuck upside down.

These vines are making vocalisations somehow and it's confusing me. Plant voice boxes?

OKAY WTF ARE THOSE THINGS???

They look like weird green versions of the slogs from Abe's Oddysee

Why are you breaking into the Marauder???

You better not be stealing it. That's already happened and we can't do it again

Okay clone cadet 3 is Deke

Ayyyy rescue time!

Okay, I'll let them off for getting on the ship

Because we totally needed a swampy sarlacc thing rn 😭

PABU!!!

*Remembers invasion of Pabu in trailer* FUCK

1x3 Shadows of Tantiss

I'm going to throw hands if Echo isn't in this episode 😤

Ooh mystery clone(?) who everyone thinks is Tech!

Nala Se is helping again 👀

The special guest is probs Palpatine

Le Palps is back

Project Necromancer - bringing back the dead?

So is this to do with the cloning stuff or something to do with Tech?

Probs the cloning thing tbf

*Angry mouse droid squeaks*

FUCK YEAH CROSS!

Missed watching this guy fight

Cross and Omega team up let's go!!!

Cross doesn't question why Omega only mentioned Wrecker and Hunter. Has Omega told him about Tech or did he just not question why she only brought two up?

And in that case has she told him that Echo is with Rex?

I HAVE QUESTIONS!

Cross went for the stun not the kill. Very different from 2x3

Do you think Hemlock has a scar or does he just choose to shave a slit in his eyebrow? 🤨

Oh great a big green monkey cat. Just what we need!

"Of course he did". CROSSHAIR BEING SOFT ABOUT TECH HELP

Cross is missing shots because of his shaky hands :(

OMEGA M COUNT???

Oooooooh they're adding blood with midichlorians in to the samples to see if they would take. That explains the blood being added to the samples

Overall I love these episodes! It's nice going back and forth between Cross and Omega, and Hunter and Wrecker. We're going to get some interesting dynamics

This is a very sad day for Echo stans though. I feel like we're going to be suffering a lot this season 🥲

And here's the bingo card as of rn!

[noeasyisnoisy]

‼️TBB EP 10 & 11 SPOILERS BELOW CUT‼️

ep 10

who tf are these people

ykw good for you emerie

ARE WE FINALLY GONNA KNOW WHAT THE EMPIRE IS DOING

“YOUR responsibility” hemlock is setting her up for something 

kids?

OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS INQUISITORS I THINK

omg those poor kids :(

why is bro smirking like that HELP

oh my god they’re gonna take that child.

BANE AGAIN??

poor baby omg MY HEART

i have a soft spot for kids i’m sorry 

EVA IS ADORABLE

“when i’ll be going home.. can you find out for me?” IM IN PUBLIC IM GONNA START CRYING STOP

i don’t trust this green kid

CALLED IT

omg he just wants to go home IM GOING TO SOB

“i was following protocol” = “good soldiers follow orders”

why did i know his name would be jax

am i psychic or have we heard it before and i’m js forgetting

nala se 💔

“there is nothing i can do” YES THERE IS BE SO FR

NO NOT TARKIN 

ngl i’m kinda surprised tarkin doesn’t know abt the project

OH MY GOD

PHEE

NO

omg what if (if he’s tech) she snaps him out of it.

“how many others like this have you captured?” oh honey you have no idea

i can’t stop thinking about the baby and his mother and THIS IS REALLY SAD

DID THEY KILL JAX???

“we just wanna go home” STOP.

SHE KEPT THE HAY LULA

AND GAVE IT TO EVA

SHE KEPT THE HAY LULA AND GAVE IT TO EVA!!!!

i’m rooting for you emerie

ep 11

where are we

PHEE!!

oh my god phee. (i remembered the convo w maybe tech)

IS THIS A TRAP

ITS A TRAP

I CALLED IT

PHEE WATCH OUT

i’m trying so hard not to get up my hopes that it’s tech rn.

what did he grab 🤨

tbb’s location or smth maybe??

SHE KNOWS

sneaky bitch

maybe tech’s ship reminds me of padmé’s ship a bit

not exactly but kinda similar? maybe it’s js the general shape

PABU

NO

pabu’s gonna be gone

NO THE CADETS

oh god are they gonna leave right before pabu’s attacked 

TECHS GOGGLES.

GET OUT

STOP

AND LULA

OH MY GOD

i’m currently bawling my eyes out

notice how the island is completely in the dark

god i love lighting

HUNTER KNOWS

NO HE SEES HER

OMG NO

WRECKER KNOWS

holy fucking shit.

HOLY SHIT

HE BETTER BE ALIVE

IF THEY KILLED HIM ISTG

CAN I NOT CRY FOR TWO SECONDS

hunter knows

HOLY FUCK

I KNEW IT

PABUS GOING DOWN

ok this music slaps though

maybe tech feels like tech but the voice (accent, tone, everything) is SO different

my heart hurts omg

OMEGA SWEETIE NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT

“i’ve barely done anything yet” first of all BE SO FR second yep oahu is a goner

ok but protective crosshair hits different every time

BATCHER STOP

if they kill batcher.

OH THANK GOD HES ALIVE

JENNIFER YOU SCARED ME.

why was hunter taking out that trooper kinda..

EAT HUNTER

GOD HES HOT

maybe tech no. 

STOP

omgomgomgogmogmg

HES ALIVE BUT IM STILL SOBBING JESUS

I NEED TO CALM DOWN

OMEGA YOU ARE NOT GETTING CAPTURED

STOP IT.

she’s smart but it’s too risky

she’s grown up so much holy shit

“then you never should’ve come here in the first place” I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA KILL EVERYONE OMG

crosshair your hand better not start shaking.

HIS NOISE

HIS SIGNATURE NOISE

IN THE MUSIC

ITS BACK (it might’ve been back for a while but i didn’t notice it)

THANK GOD HUNTER

WET HAIR HUNTER⁉️⁉️⁉️

IM TOO HURT TO APPRECIATE FULLY THOUGH

update: i rewatched and that hair is NOT wet 😔

BATCHER!!!!!

oh my god hunter’s gonna be PISSED

i’m crying again

NONONO

HUNTER SAVE CROSS NOW.

NO

NO

NO

NO

omega what do you know

is she meditating

THE FORCE???

IS SHE GONNA TAP IN AND TELL THEM BC IDK WHAT ELSE THEYD DO

ok so my final thoughts are i am HURT and still crying WHAT THE FUCK JENNIFER

[certifiedstarrr]

『Always - bsf!nick x reader 』

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

warnings: swearing. that’s it.

purple = nick

pink = y/n

NOT PROOFREAD!

b/n: wrote this cos i’m on it rn😐🤷🏾‍♀️

THIS IS REALLY SHORT AND I DIDNT HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR IT SO SORRY IN ADVANCE😭

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

Sometimes I wish I didn’t have my period. It was basically the worst time of my life, and I was going through it.

I was laying in bed holding my stomach while attempting to watch a movie. It felt like being stabbed over and over again.

I couldn’t do it anymore, I had to call Nick. Nick was my best friend since forever, and practically knew me better than myself.

“Hey y/n what’s up?”

“Hey nick do you think you could come over?”

My voice broke as the stabbing pain came back.

“Yeah I can, i’m on my way,”

I hung up the phone and started balling. I held my stomach, it never helped. I took the Advil bottle that was on my nightstand and took it. I hate how long it takes to kick in.

After that I just cry, not even trying to attempt to watch the movie, but just crying.

“oh y/nnnnnnnnn”

His voice was muffled because of how much i was crying.

“oh y/n don’t cry”

He placed all of the bags of stuff he brought down by my bed hugged me.

“im sorry nick,”

“and i look horrible, i’m so sorry”

That’s all I could manage to muster out before sobbing.

“I don’t care about what you look like hun.”

I still was balling my eyes out. It was just so much pain to bear.

“Shhh….its okay I’m here now so let’s forget about that let’s watch the movie.”

“thank you”

“Anything for you girl.”

I noticed the bags and started to get curious about them.

“nick what did you buy?”

“A heating pad, 2 bags of chips, 2 tubs of ice cream, a blanket, giant sized chocolate bars, and chinese takeout?”

“Nick you didn’t have to though”

“But I did so let’s not worry about your period and get you distracted.”

I got up and and decided to take a shower. I hadn’t done anything today except for staying in bed doing absolutely nothing. It was only day 2 of my period and I had many more days coming.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

“Okay y/n I’ll be out here waiting for you”

I went into the bathroom and closed the door, and looked at the mirror. My hair was all messy and my face all wet from the crying. I needed to take a shower ASAP.

I undressed and stepped in the shower, the water was cold but I was unusually hot still. I let the cold water run a couple more seconds and I was back to a regular temperature. My period blood had dripped onto the shower floor and I needed to hurry up and put on a pad.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

I hopped out the shower and dried my body. I felt much better and rejuvenated, but still remembered to hurry and put on a pad.

I put on some new clothes and a new pad, I went back to my bedroom where Nick was scrolling on his phone.

“Hey y/n do you feel better?”

“Yeah I really needed that shower.”

“Okay come on we are watching my favorite movie.”

“I just know you’re gonna love it”

“Okay nick”

“Also the boys were wondering if they could come too but i told matt to drive me here and to leave their asses home..”

“See this is why your my best friend”

“Exactly.”

We never watched the movie. We spent the rest of the night looking at matching nail designs to get for next week. This is why Nick is my bestfriend.

He was there for me; Always.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

a/n: idk if this is good or not but🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

taglist: @tyjna6 @lovingmattysposts @luvmxtt @novasturniolo03

[lookismaddict]

Lookism Chapter 430 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

I ALREADY KNOW EVERYBODY ON TUMBLR IS GOING CRAZY OVER THIS CHAPTER RN. I STG. 💀💀💀💀 (But same guys… 👀) AND HERE ARE THE REASONS:

Honestly, all of us in this chapter because it’s gonna be a DOOZYYY. 🤭

Oh boy. Back to this photo again.

I kinda already had a feeling this was the case because why did Charles freak out during that time when he visited Daniel?

Ooooooo, new ally? 🤔

Uhhhhh…. 😬

SURE JAMES… YOU MAY LOOK LIKE AN ANGEL, BUT I FOR SOME REASON DON’T TRUST YOU. AFTER THAT LITTLE STUNT YOU PULLED WITH THE WORKERS AND YOU BETRAYED CHARLES CHOI, I DUNNO… KINDA FISHY TO ME. 😑 (I have a feeling he’s going to betray Daniel… maybe. Idk that’s just my hunch.)

Uh ha ha, Mr. James Lee… WE KNOW WHERE THIS MAN IS AT!! 

DANIEL I DON’T TRUST JAMES. PLSSSSSSSSS NOOOOO. NOT YET.

Bruv. LMAAOOOOO NICE SAVE, IG. James be like, “Uh... ok?” 💀

Oh god, oh god, oh god oh god... Jake and Lineman....

Bro, I bet most people forgot that this was a war amongst TEENAGERS. 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The crazy eyes, bruh. I cannot... 😬 

Awww, Ryuhei... 😭 Missing Samuel. ❤️

Literally Ryuhei @ Samuel Seo:

HELLOOOOOOO????? PTJ????? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH THAT PANEL, SIR. IT WAS YOUR DECISION TO DRAW THAT. WHY DOES HE HAVE A GAG, AND WHO’S IS IT???? KINKY ASS- 👁👄👁 

BRUHHHH IM SCREEEAAAAMMMINGGGSAHJDKFHLDJ!!!!!!!

HELLO??? NEW GIRL CRUSH???? 👀👀👀👀

Oh...

Well I expected that she was working for them. Sorry Samuel, ya done now- 

Oh... x2 Poor Johan, Samuel, and Daniel bruh. R.I.P. Ayo, Workers First Affiliate???? HOLD ON NOW-

DANIEL BEING THE BOSS ASS BITCH THAT HE IS!!!!! YESSSSS KIIIIINNNGGGG. YOU GO AND MAKE YOUR OWN CREW AND THEN GO BEAT THEIR ASSES!!! 😤😤😤 (Even though I believe that’s what Gun wanted from him in the first place from that one chapter.) ALSO DAMN, LOOK AT DANIEL’S MUSCULAR YET BROAD BACK. MODEL MUCH? 😩😩

THE 3 BIG J’S ARE BACKKKK!!!!!!!!  I GOT CHILLS, BUT IN A GOOD WAY.

WAIT, DANIEL. IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS??????? PLSSSSSSSSSS

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *VELOCIRAPTOR SCREECHES* OMGGGGGG!!!!! JAAAAAYYYYYY, OUR KING IS BAAAAACCCCKKK!!!!! IM CRYING, PISSING, AND SHITTING MYSELF RN. OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN FUCKING HEARD, LETS GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 😤😤😤😤😫😫😫😫😫😫😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HE LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD BRUH, I CANT. IM SOBBING RN. YOU DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY I AM TO SEE THIS MAN AFTER 200+ CHAPTERS. 

OHHHHHHHHHHH SHIT. ANOTHER MEMBER TOO? WHO IS ITTTTT???????? 

Bruh. I’m betting it’s the Hudson dude who Daniel fought with. If not, then I’m guessing Vin Jin. OR TAESOO MA. Those are my two guesses. PERO OVERALL, THIS MF CHAPTER ASDGHFASKJDFHASKJFHSADKHJF. SO MUCH WAS GOING ON HERE. I feel bad for Big Deal for being forced into hiding like that. I just hope that they join with Daniel’s crew eventually so that they can beat the Workers. Also, free ya bois Samuel, Johan, and Daniel’s 2nd body. They really need it rn. 😔🙏🏽 AND WE GET TO FINALLY SEE JAYYYYYYYYYY!!!! OUR SOFT KING.  DANIEL PARK’S KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR. 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕 I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE. SHIT IS GONNA KEEP GETTING INTERESTING FROM HERE ON OUT. 

(ALSO, I’M SORRY THAT THERE’S LESS MEMES IN THIS CHAPTER. THERE’S TOO MANY THINGS HAPPENING AND I CAN’T SEEM TO THINK OF GOOD IDEAS BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL MOSTLY SERIOUS.) 

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i'm thinking of suguru sitting next to you... his hair is down and your hands are in his. he's rubbing hearts into your palm and whispering sweet nothings into your neck... oh my god i'm so sick and in love with him it's not even funny 😭😭😭😭😭

also sugu with his hair loose is very. intimate and sweet and soft, i've seen people talk about how his hair is symbolic of his mental state/behaviors and i completely agree... but we deserved to see him let loose and show his 100% true colors in a happy context too!!!!!! BUT BACK TO THE MAIN IDEA he's so beautiful and handsome and and.. i wish i could say more but my imagination is not very good. which is why your thoughts are so helpful!!!

also ABOUT the last ask... i will share with you when the stuff comes... probably will be late may so i can save on shipping :(( i can show some stuff i have rn tho!! AND WHY DID SENDICO NOT WORK FOR YOU. ugh. i'm so sorry ari 🌖

🌖 ANONNNN MY BELOVED :3333

okay so this . made me insane? completely??? i don’t have words to describe the longing that poured into my body after reading this like it’s SO serious. YOU’RE ALWAYS OUT TO GET ME :(((…… all my moots and anons collaborating to make my brainrot worse……. sniffle………… soft intimate moments w sugu make me so emotional :’3 rubbing hearts into your palm.,… he’s suchhhh a loverboy i’m gonna cry. whispering sweet nothings into your ear…. treating you soso gently and delicately bc he just loves you so much…… bc you always treat him so gently in return . sniffle sob sniffle….

AND . HIM W HIS HAIR DOWN…….. let’s discuss this 🌖 anon . we Need to talk abt it. suguru’s hair is something so personal to me….. not JUST bc it’s silky and beautiful and fluffy but also bc it rlly is so very Symbolic……. the fact that he kept it in a bun during high school, let it all flow during his defection and then finally put it into a half-down bun……. it for sure symbolizes his mental state but most importantly his control . and his true self. teen sugu is very guarded …. very controlled….. when it comes to his fake smiles and emotions and just. everything. so him wearing his hair up is almost like a way of conforming, yk?? not letting his true self show. but during his breakdown he’s so tired and depressed he doesn’t even have the strenght to put it into a bun or take care of it…. he doesn’t have the strenght to put up appearances :((( n i think that’s also why he blurts some things out to haibara and yuki. he’s just . soso tired……

and when he finally defects and fixes his cognitive dissonance, he has the control and strenght to put his hair into a bun, but still lets it flow freely and. to me that’s . a symbol of his conviction. his decision Not to conform anymore :’3 i just love metaphors like that sm…. BUUUUT sadness aside it’s basically just a symbol of his true self and how comfortable he is showing it!!!! so for him to let his hair down in front of his s/o…. 🥺🥺 i just think. it’s a sign of trust. in a way. he’s willing to bare his heart to you…. and he trusts you to treat him w care. trusts you to wash his hair and comb it bc he knows you aren’t gonna tug on it or threaten to cut it off the way satoru does LMAO. he just trusts you soooo deeply and that’s so rare for him i think :(((((

ANYWAYYYYYYY I MADE MYSELF YEARN 2 MUCH. thank you for the tasty brainworms my beloved 🌖 anon <33333 AND PLSS I’D LOVE TO SEE YOUR CURRENT MERCH!!!! feel free!!!!! :3

[im-a-marion3tt3]

...at this point i might as well just make a home for myself in your inbox, haha !! (please please please tell me if i'm in here too often !!) i notice that you're still wanting fic requests so i can't stop myself from popping in again :0

i have two suggestions, but goodness, please don't feel pressured to write both. and if neither of them interest you, that's completely fine too !! <3 (as a cw, both requests are related to your sh/ed fics)

the first is a request for (yet another O_O) continuation of the swiss/phantom storyline. you've left me wanting more again, haha !! so perhaps swiss' screaming match conversation with dew and rain about their negative influence on phantom ?

if that doesn't take your fancy, the line in sickeningly sweet "sure he told mountain a lot but never that much" has also got me wanting more of your writing and storytelling ! i'd be really interested to know what you think phantom has and hasn't told mountain in regards to his issues with eating (and maybe even dew as well, because mountain mentioning that dew told him a few extra details that phantom hadn't has got my brain running wild with possibilities !!)

this got very long, i'm so sorry :0 and i have so, so much more to say about all of your writing too !!? but i'll leave this ask as it is for the moment, since it's already quite long <3

Omg sorry I took so long writing this. I like drowning in work rn but I finally have the time to write again! I like your idea of Mountain and Dew so here you go! Thank you for the suggestion so much and I hope you like it! Sorry it's a little short.

Dew was laid on Mountain's chest, the two of them inside of the green house on a reclining patio chair. Gently, Mountain dragged his hair through Dewdrops long hair as he gently hummed. He had been working with both Phantom and Dewdrop on their eating, being the only ghoul to have enough patience and not tell the two to "just eat". So he found himself here, enjoying the warmth of the greenhouse.

"How's Tom?" Dewdrop asked softly after a few minutes of silence. After Mountain had taken him through the list of genuinely concerning side effects, Dewdrop had felt terrible for what he had done and turned to worrying for Phantom far more than himself.

"He's getting there but it's not great. He cried over having to eat breakfast. It took him half an hour to even try it but it's better than last week when he simply fell asleep rather than ate," Mountain said in a sad tone. It had broken his heart to see the poor kit distraught over essentially nothing; but he knew it was basically everything to Phantom.

"I'm so sorry," Dewdrop whispered, his heart shattering some. Mountain just rubbed his back and sighed, feeling sorry for both of them.

"It's all my fault, Mountain, I was the one who started this," he murmured biting back tears before continuing on in a meek voice, "I d-didnt realize he was going to do this so sometimes I'd point out the calories in things I wouldn't eat. I didn't even think he knew what a calorie was. And I said so much hurtful shit after that too. I thought he wanted me to be mean to him, I really did. I thought I was making him better by being worse." Tears streaked down his face by this point as Mountain held him close, just letting him get it all out.

"And, and, I made him hate his favorite food. Do you remember when Copia would get him cakes or cookies or just something sweet after every concert? And how happy he was to get them? He was so proud of himself... And I said he looked so much better not having eaten that shit. That it showed on his hips and that it was the reason he was starting to look like a little piglet. Why did I ever say that? This is all my fault!" At this point Dewdrop was sobbing, his body shaking as he cried. Mountain just held him tightly and let him cry. To think that both of them thought like that though, it made him want to cry too. They were both getting better though, and that was what mattered. What had been said couldn't be undone, so all that was left was to hopefully undue the damages.

[memberment]

Good evening

Guys I just got home from work and proofread everything I needed to including this next Dandelion chapter and I'm trying so hard not to just fucking SOB over it.

I hate it here I want out LMFAOOOOOOO THIS IS SO SAD WHY DID I WRITE THIS FR

10:59 update......

I'm thinking about an absolutely diabolical twist for the Trin series(it doesn't actually change the story in any way, if anything it actually makes it make so much more sense). Like, I've been ruminating on it since last night but idk if it's gonna throw people off. But at the same time like part twos and threes never do as good anyways so do I really even care?? Like, I'm just out here telling stories in fanfic font bc I would rather throw myself in the street than make OCs and not share my fun little stories.

I think I may commit to it.

I don't wanna say it on here though bc it's one of those plot twists you get will not forget even though part three is like FOREVER out.

The more I think about it the more I wanna do it. Someone tell me I should do it.

Oh my god I am shutting up and finishing reading Dandelion, y'all will hear my virtual screams in approximately one and a half business hours.

(11:43) I'm actually fucking sobbing and I didn't even start the last few chapters. Like, I'm actually crying over this. It's not funny.

(12:00) Never by mag lo coming on while I'm finishing up reading this is not funny. I'm devastated. I hope you all hate me after this oh my god I feel like I just ruined my own life. WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE AFTER BEING DONE WITH THIS FIC FOR ALMOST TWO MONTHS. Jesus Christ. Yeah. No more angst from me for a long while. I'm banned.

(12:20) Me skimming through tags on fics debating if I want to pick up something new. Everything being totally normal. Suh happy. Trying not to stew in my own misery. And then I see such a vile tag my stomach twists and now I'm just like okay I'll go fuck myself I guess I'll go write or do my homework. I'm sorry, I adore ao3 and I'm never gonna be a hater, BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE WILD. LIKE I AM TALKING SO BAD I'M ACTUALLY CONSIDERING DOING MY HOMEWORK OVER THAT. LIKE I ACTUALLY JUST WIPED THE TEARS OFF MY FACE AND GOT OVER HOW SAD I WAS BECAUSE OF HOW GENUINELY SHOCKED I WAS. Like wow oh wow.

Anyways. Updates here if there's gonna be any. Also Dandelions up if anyones reading this LMAO

It's 1:40 in the morning and the beginning of Morning Glory is making me fucking unwell. I was not joking when I made that joke about like ten dreaded weeks of angst, Jesus Christ.

(2:12) This is my second time posting this exact part. Like I know I've posted this exact part. But I seriously love Christophe and all of his dialogue with my whole heart.

(4:31) I do not recall making Dova this tragic and I'm literally about to sob over him. LIKE WHY???? WHY DID I DO THAT??? WHY ARE HIS LITTLE SUBTLE BITS OF STORYLINE SO ACTUALLY PAINFUL AS THE STORY GOES ON????? (I am allergic to happiness I am my own canon event at this point)

(4:48) THE ABSOLUTE DEVASTATION THAT COMES WITH WANTING MORE STORY BUT IT SIMPLY NOT EXISTING BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT IS DEVASTATING.

(5:02) Welp. I'm ruined and am now compelled by god to start working on Morning Glory again. We're at 73k rn. And only two chapters that aren't the prologue are under 4k. That's fucking terrifying. Like I have 17 minus the prologue rn. WE ARE LITERALLY THREE CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FOURTH OF JULY. THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ANOTHER 16/17 OF SUMMER ALONE. AND THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE AT LEAST ANOTHER 14 AFTER THAT. LIKE THE 14 ARE THE PLANNED SPECIFIC EVENT CHAPTERS. BRUH. WHY DID I DO THIS????

regret.

regret is all I feel.

but I will push through.

(7:38) before I go to bed I will just say I am at 75.3k. I had no idea how I would even get close to 4k on a birthday chapter where the group effectively decided to just stay home and hang out. But now there is like 1.5k of them playing muffin time. It's wild. I love it. GOOD NIGHT.

[queen-of-obsessing]

i'm extremely uncomfortable with the way judas is being portrayed this season. (lil vent post)

obviously spoilers for all of season 4. and also i haven't seen the season in its entirety yet, this is just based on what my friend has told me and the leaked scenes i've seen. also also this is only talking about show!Judas, as he's being portrayed by the writers, not the bible version, becauseee we know nothing about that one.

i just watched one of the leaked clips from season 4 (because the stupid chosen team hasn't put it on streaming yet), and i'm acc crying rn. like irl. real tears. i'm so choked up, i feel physically ill, and not for any good reasons. this isn't gonna be one of those "oh wow i'm literally sobbing this show is so good 😍" type posts.

i feel sick.

seeing judas just claw and scramble for any sort of positive attention from the disciples around him is sickening. every single time he brings up an idea for how he can positively help the ministry and use his skills (the only way he knows how to coming from a business background), the others just shoot him down. you can see how hard he's trying to win their validation and find some sort of footing within the group and nothing is working.

and zee just compares him to dirty laundry? like to be able to be part of the twelve he has to ditch every single aspect of his life?? THE LIFE THAT PROBABLY SAVED HIM FROM BEING A DESTITUTE ORPHAN. I wouldn't be surprised if Hadad was the one that took him in after his parents died and taught him business skills. It's how he sees the world!!! it's how he was taught to see the world!!

yet no one ever takes any time to see his perspective or give him any chance to meaningfully contribute. he's just this permanent outsider, trying to get in but never ever being fully in. everyone just keeps speaking in cryptic riddles, talking about prophecies and nothing Jesus says makes any sense either, and now even Jesus is rebuking him. judas is probably completely lost and confused by the time we get to episode 8 of season 4.

and it's really uncomfortable to watch.

as someone who grew up in the church, and also saw the world in a very different way from everyone else, I've also experienced what judas is experiencing. desperately clawing for some sort of place in the church AND NOTHING WORKING. I haven't been to church in nearly a year because everytime i tried, i just didn't fit. they didn't want me, i always felt perpetually on the outside of the circle.

on top of that, i'm 99% sure i'm autistic, so like judas, i see the world very logically. i like to have things told in a very straightforward way, and think in very material concepts (for him it's money). But the "Christianese" never made any sense to me. I never understood it. So I spent my days in the church perpetually alone, never fitting in and never fully understanding who I was even supposed to be believing in because nobody took the time to explain it to me in a way I could understand, but vaguely knowing that I wanted to believe in something.

I believe Judas wanted to believe in Jesus, and did believe in Him, but never fully understood why.

...and then he dies. I'm still wondering how the show is going to handle the lead up to his betrayal, but I'm going to assume continually being rejected by the other disciples had something to do with it.

and you know what else is really sick about all this? Jesus fully knowing that Judas was going to betray Him and kill himself. and he just...lets it happen. like he's some sort of sacrificial scapegoat. it makes me so mad??

i could rant about this for hours but yea. i'll just leave this here. Dallas you have so much fking explaining to do. i dread watching this season...

[xjustonemoremiraclex]

rwrb thoughts from someone who hasn't read the book (yet)

The good/general thoughts:

pleasantly surprised by the acting! which I know sounds mean, but listen, I saw these guys in other things and I wasn't suuuper into them, so it was a nice surprise lol

THE CHEMISTRY BETWEEN THE TWO again, pleasantly surprised by that lol they played off each other SO well

10/10 soundtrack, it definitely took inspiration from older rom-coms and I loved it <3

PS I really liked all the side characters! I wish we'd gotten to spend a little more time with some of them, but everyone was pretty great <3 also, all the women were awesome, and I am very gay and very in love <3

Ok, I really, REALLY liked how they showed the two of them texting each other, and the whole editing around it. It was pretty cute

I was living for all the latine songs at the new year's party, that was a nice touch

ok, when everyone was getting down at the party and alex and henry stayed up and stared at each other and time slowed down, I know it was supposed to be romantic, but I have to say it: it was also the funniest shit I've ever seen lol

henry at the party is giving both 'i have social anxiety and my only friend here is a social butterfly and keeps leaving to be with other people send help' and 'i thought you invited me here as a first date kind of thing but you're dancing and making out with other people and i'm feeling so betrayed rn :('

'christ you're as thick as it gets *kiss*' LMAO

Listen, I'm not usually into rom-coms (I say, like a liar), but I was pretty happy with the writing, in general. I laughed at all the funny parts, got emotional over all the dramatic ones and swooned at the romance bits. Great job, everyone

'I just can't afford for you to fall in love with me' LMAO babe, we're WAY past that. On both sides

ok, full disclosure: I don't really like sex scenes all that much (there's nothing wrong with them, I'm just very ace lol), so I usually just use my phone while they're happening, and while I did that a little bit here too, I was still paying attention, and honestly, they were pretty sweet. They did a good job. And, like, I have no idea why the film was R-rated lol you literally don't see anything

again, love the little montages that show the passing of time, while also showing they're keeping in touch and getting to know each other better and stuff. It makes the relationship between the two and the way it's developing feel a bit less rushed, which is nice

ZAHRA MY MOST BELOVED

YES PLEASE I WANT TO SEE THAT POWERPOINT PRESENTATION THANK YOU

KARAOKEEEE

alex giving an impassioned romantic speech to henry, about to confess his love: // henry:

'I didn't want to break his heart' - oh, honey, you already did :(

'to tell you that I love you, knowing that you wouldn't say it back' brb sobbing

NOT CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE 😭😭😭

'because when they write the history of my life, I want it to include you and my love for you' help i'm dying 😭😭😭😭😭😭

MIGUEL DON'T THINK I DON'T KNOW IT WAS YOU please die in a fire <3

alex's speech was really good by the way 🥺

LOVESICK HOMOSEXUALS LMAO ZAHRA MY BELOVED

'baby' screaming crying throwing up jgdkfk

I FORGOT THE KING WAS STEPHEN FRY why is this so funny to me

SEQUEL WHEN

The... less good?/general questions:

Kinda wish there'd been a bit more enemies in my enemies-to-lovers film

'he just grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and footbal'' - please, I beg you, someone smarter than me - what the fuck does this mean 😭 ppl are LIVING for this quote and I'm like ??????

this is probably me being stupid and ignorant lol but why would alex's relationship cost his mum the election? like, from what I've seen, her government has been very pro-queer, that's not really a secret, so her son being queer and in a relationship with a man shouldn't lose her any voters..? the people who are against 'the queers' were not going to vote for her in the first place, soooo..? me is confused

honestly, this is probably an unpopular opinion, but... the king was not that bad? like, i'm not saying he's not kind of homphobic and kind of a dick lol but i get the impression that everything stems from the whole thing about sticking to tradition and public image and bla bla. Like, again, obviously, part of that involves homophobia, but I think that on a personal level, he... doesn't really care? Even at the end, he's like 'ok, are you absolutely sure about this, cause there's no going back. Yes? Really? Well, go off I guess *long-suffering sigh*'. Like, I got way more homophobic vibes from phillip than the king idk 🤷‍♀️ (I really hope I don't have to clarify that this only applies to the film, and not like, the real life crown lol)

Sooo, as I said, I haven't read the book yet, but I've seen some posts about it, and I think after watching the film I've realized that it's biggest flaw is that it's that - a film. It's a great film, don't get me wrong! And it's pretty obvious I really liked it. But damn, I'm a firm believer that book adaptations only work as series. They don't have to be super long or anything, but there is just no way to fit everything in a book in a two hour film. And yeah, when you're adapting something you have to make some changes, but Idk, it's kind of a shame that you lose so much (and even without reading the book, I can tell there's a lot of stuff missing). In any case, I can't talk too much about it until I read the book, but yeah 🤷‍♀️ It does seem like they did a good job, though - like, it genuinely can stand on its own really well, but I guess I'll have to find out for myself

Also, tagging @silassstingy bc I promised her my thoughts on the film and she might give me some interesting insights on some of the stuff I mentioned, cause she's a queen like that <3

[pinievsev]

🩷 omgomg i just had this epic idea (that simultaneously retains to my personal life in a way)- so i know that beomgyu won’t win for the body guard AU (it’s inevitable) even though i really really want Gyu to win… it’s ok so i have another idea.

🩷 hear me out- y/n just had a major falling out with their two closest bestest friends and beomgyu tries his best to comfort them. y/n dosent show this side of them ever and it’s the first time gyu has seen this with such deep rooted heartbreak.

… i really just need smthn to cry to rn 🤷‍♀️

AMICA

CHOI BEOMGYU X GN!READER

Angst to fluff! (My favourite 😤)

The names "Kira" and "Mina" are the most basic names I could think of for reader's friends. Don't come for me they're not what we're here for 😋

Warnings: Angst? If anyone has a problem with that, Awkward gyu, crying?, Maybe some spelling mistakes which btw, feel free to call me out on. (Please.) Also it's pretty short? I wrote half of it at 3am and the other half at school- 🥹

Amica: friend in Latin because I'm the king of titles.

As always requests are open and my masterlist is pinned to my blog! Without further ado, Les gooo!

{taglist: @laskyy }

You only ever had three close friends, well one now, Kira, Mina and Gyu. You had known Beomgyu since middle school and had met Kira and Mina in highschool, even tho gyu went to another one, you still kept contact and lived in the same area.

You had had a crush on gyu for maybe a year now, pretty recent considering how long you've known eachother for, and both girls knew it, so why the hell would they accuse you of trying to steal Kira's crush was still a mystery. Maybe they just didn't want to be your friends anymore and tried to get rid of you without you knowing? Not sure.

All you knew was that both had blocked you on all social media as well as your number so you decided it wasn't worth your time and energy trying to fix. You and them have been getting distant lately anyways, so what's the point?

What hurt you most was that they had made a complete fool of you in the middle of the park, yelling about how bad of a friend you were, calling you all sorts of things, a backstabber being one of them.

It wasn't worth it, so why did it hurt this much.

You bolted down the road and to your apartment block with tears in your eyes, failing to notice and hear a shouting gyu, trying to get your attention from across the street.

You slammed your door shut and kicked off your shoes, basically diving into your couch and sobbing. It shouldn't hurt this much. Your crying only lasted a couple minutes though. A frantic knock on your door alerting you. You hoped and begged and prayed that it wasn't them. Taking slow steps towards the door.

"Y/n? Hello?!" You let out a breath you hadn't realised you were holding at the sound of Beomgyu's voice, you opened the door and let him inside, rubbing your eyes with the back of your sleeve.

"What happened to you?" He asked looking at you with almost worry. You've never cried Infront of him, and you weren't planning to, until this moment. A couple of seconds was all it took for you to break down and start sobbing again, causing his eyes to go wide "Whoa whoa whoa! Hey uh, here come on"

He was speaking quickly and fumbling over his words as he led you back to your couch placing the bag he had with him on the small coffee table, he sat down next to you.

He rubbed soothing circles on your back, shushing you. He was never really one to comfort people, but he was trying his best and you appreciated that.

You rubbed your eyes once again, apologising "sorry- sorry. I don't know why I broke down there" you sniffled, eyes red and puffy already. "Don't apologise. Do you uh want to talk about it?" You shook your head and he only nodded in response standing up.

"wait here." He said rushing off to your bedroom and returning with a heavy gray and white blanket, your favourite one.

He gently placed it over you, he might not be good with words, but he was the best with actions. He picke dup the plastic bag he had placed on your table and walked to your kitchen "I'll be right there!" You heard him call before you could even question him.

A couple of minutes later, again, he returned with two bowls of ramen for the both of you, placing them down. He sat on the couch, Criss cross next to you, pulling the blanket over both of your shoulders. He reached out and handed you your bowl then grabbing his. "if you don't want to talk. We'll just eat" he said taking a hold of the remote and turning on the TV, playing some random movie neither of you were interested in.

As you ate, you could feel him turning to check up on you every now and then. And once you had finished you put your bowl down and leaned your head onto his shoulder, closing your eyes "you're the best friend Gyu... You know that?" You spoke quietly.

As much as he tried, he could not deny his feelings for you, the way he hated seeing you sad, the way his heart dropped to his stomach as soon as you started crying and the way his heart fluttered but at the same time shriveled up at your words just seconds ago.

But what if you didn't like him that way? What if you were crying over a boy? He couldn't risk loosing you.

You opened your eyes when you didn't get a response from him, looking up at him. He was already looking at you, his eyes switching from your eyes to your lips making your stomach do flips.

You stared at eachother for a few more seconds before he leaned in, brushing his lips over yours ever so slightly, testing the waters.

When you hummed in delight at the feeling he was assured, rushing to completely wrap you both in the giant blanket before leaning in again, kissing you quickly yet softly. You wrapped your arms around his middle as you pulled apart.

His eyes scanned your face for any signs of regret but once he found none he grinned widely "am I still the best friend?" He asked jokingly "nope. You're just the best" you said kissing his cheek and hugging him close. The reason for your sadness now long forgotten under the cozy blanket and the adorable pecks he left all over your face mixed with your laughter.

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

HOW have u been what have u been upto yes I want the full essay

well, i'm suffering with a horrible school life and minor teacher's bullying and my classmates almost hate me because i apparently talk about about politics like i'm the sole daughter of a us president and i really don't get why that is but aight i'm not okay with it either way so whatever... also i'm flunking physics but chem and bio are fucking splendid and my psych teacher thinks i'm some sort of a genius because she finds my "prowess" at her subject "prodigal" (she said this to my parents on a ptm, while i stood there, crying like a child in front of 7 of my classmates so my image in school as the tough kid is destroyed although my best friend, who also saw me crying, said that it was her first time seeing me cry and i looked very stoic like some king when i did because of the way i hold back my tears before breaking into gut wrenching sobs and she felt bad for me and thought that someone like me who represses their emotions shouldn't be driven up to a precipice like that and our physics teacher is an ass so yeah.. i have no idea what's going on in my life rn). but also, i quit poetry because school's taken over my life and i don't take coaching so yeah, i'm pretty fucked. but i did finish watching nbc hannibal and that has messed up my brain chemistry but in a good way. also i might be having some major family issues as of now and struggling to study the way i used to and feeling guilty about it and not being able to study because of how overwhelming that guilt is so i'm also stuck in this vicious cycle- god this making me tear up so sorry