Smiling Critters incorrect quotes
Dogday: What is the code etomologists use for "I stepped on it, I'm so sorry, it was dark out and the specimen was very small?"
Bubba Bubbaphant: "Impromptu dissection was performed under less-than-optimal lighting conditions."
Catnap: "Impromptu dissection" is an alarming phrase in any context and I thank you for it.
KickinChickin: What’s biologist for "the little f⭐️cker BIT me and I yote it into the undergrowth on reflex?"
Bubba Bubbaphant: "The specimen was removed from the study pool due to abnormal interaction responses."
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Hoppy Hopscotch: You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.
KickinChickin: Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in their own pool. Big difference.
☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️
Hoppy Hopscotch: Nothing in life is free.
Bobby Bearhug: Love is free.
Bubba Bubbaphant: Knowledge is free.
Craftycorn: Friendship is free.
Dogday: Self-respect is free.
KickinChickin: Everything's free if you don't pay for it.
The Squad: ...
PickyPiggy: Kickin, that's illegal-
Hoppy Hopscotch: No, let him finish!
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Bubba Bubbaphant: Are you tall enough to play basketball though?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Are you calling me short?
Bubba Bubbaphant: I'm calling you vertically challenged.
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KickinChickin: You have Crayons?
Craftycorn: Yes, I have—
KickinChickin: You're— how old are you?
Craftycorn (in tears): YES I AM AN ADULT AND I HAVE CRAYONS, I HAVE A BOX OF EMERGENCY CRAYONS IN THE CABINET UNDER THE TV BECAUSE EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS SOMETIMES, OKAY? EVERYBODY NEEDS CRAYONS.
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PickyPiggy: *standing at the top of the stairs* What are y'all doing at the bottom of the staircase?
Catnap: I accidentally fell down.
Bubba Bubbaphant: CATNAP PUSHED ME down the stairs because I refuse to pay HIS part of our rent!
Dogday: Catnap bet me fifty bucks that I couldn't reach the bottom of the stairs faster than they did falling down it, so I slide down the banister to get my money.
KickinChickin: I don't know how I got here. One moment, I was sleeping in my bed, three floors up, and then suddenly I was waking up here, just in time to get crushed by Dogday.
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Dogday: I love you.
Catnap: How many people have you said that to?
Dogday: Everyone.
Catnap: What?
Dogday: I told everyone that I love you.
🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙
Craftycorn: Why does Picky always do the laundry so loudly?
Bobby Bearhug: So everyone knows that no one helps her out in the house.
PickyPiggy, in the distance: *slams the washing machine shut*
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PickyPiggy: So Hunny-bunny, how did your first time cooking dinner go?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Pretty good if I do say so myself.
PickyPiggy: Oo! Okay, what are we having?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Alright, so for appetizers, we have a potato.
PickyPiggy: A whole potato?
Hoppy Hopscotch: Yes. And then for the main course, we have grilled cheese sandwiches!
PickyPiggy: These just look like big slabs of black.
Hoppy Hopscotch: Because that's what they are!
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for desert, we have chocolate.
PickyPiggy: These are just chocolate chips?
Hoppy Hopscotch: They sure are!
Hoppy Hopscotch: And then for drinks, we have toast!
Hoppy Hopscotch: *lifts up a glass of blended toast* Bon appetite!
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KickinChickin: I have a plan.
PickyPiggy: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.
KickinChickin: …
PickyPiggy: …
KickinChickin: I no longer have a plan.
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PickyPiggy: why can’t any of y’all ever come up with a plan that doesn’t involve breaking the law?
Bubba Bubbaphant (awkwardly looking over at KickinChickin and Hoppy Hopscotch): Picky…You do realize that three of us have been to prison before, right?
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KickinChickin: Have I ever told you that I love you like the mom I never had?
PickyPiggy: For the love of all that is holy, I am not taking you to McDonalds. It’s 2am!
KickinChickin: Mean.
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Hoppy Hopscotch: I'm sorry. Please talk to me.
PickyPiggy:
Hoppy Hopscotch: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure?
PickyPiggy: Hmf! 'Sorry' ain’t never gonna bring back my f🍎cking M&Ms.
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Bubba Bubbaphant: What do we think of Dogday?
*pause*
Hoppy Hopscotch: *shrugs* Nice pal.
Bobby Bearhug: I think he’s gay.
🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘🐘
KickinChickin: That was so hot, Bubba.
Bubba Bubbaphant: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets.
KickinChickin: I'm so in love with you.
🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱🐱
KickinChickin: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...
Catnap: Only as their rodeo clown.
🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷🐷
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Things I've seen tumblr memeing about James Somerton doing à la "How did no one see how bigoted he was!" as if those things haven't been a significant part of tumblr culture for over a decade :
Presenting untrue and bordering on conspiratorial versions of (queer or otherwise marginalised) history without any sources
Completely disregarding and disrespecting any expertise on socio-cultural topics/humanities and distrusting academics and historians (incl. acting as if no academics or historians could be queer or marginalised)
Downplaying the role misogyny played in the historical oppression of queer women and concluding that queer men must have been more oppressed than queer women
Bi women are, at best, not as queer as "real" queer ppl, and at worst, simply equivalent to straight women
Despite nominal trans inclusivity, transmasculine ppl are functionally women when convenient (combined with the above, bi transmascs are functionally straight women)
Despite nominal trans inclusivity (bis), shamelessly attacking, threatening and actively endangering any trans woman who questions them or smth they find important (often by unfairly presenting her as violent or as a threat)
Having absolutely fucking wild and reductive takes about ace ppl, the oppression they face and their place in the queer community
Stating that marriage equality is an assimilationist fight while completely ignoring its direct roots in the horrifying consequences of the AIDS crisis for partners of ppl who died of AIDS
Praising western media creators from the past for queer coding even under censure and in the same breath condemning current non western media creators for being homophobic bc their representation isn't explicit enough
Blaming China for all existing homophobic censoring in western media
Assuming all queer media would be better told by western creators and by western standards
Only out queer ppl get to tell queer stories
Heavily criticising almost all queer media created by women or ppl they see as such (see above points about trans ppl) or involving/starring a significant amount of women for any perceived or real amount of "problematicness", but fawning over and praising and negating criticism of queer media created by and starring mostly or even functionally exclusively men (even when it could be argued that, you know, not involving/seriously sidelining women is a pretty clear example of misogyny which should probably be considered "problematic")
And I'm probably forgetting stuff or there's stuff I have internalised myself and don't recognise as an issue
Like idk but I feel like the takeaway from Hbomberguy and Toddintheshadow's videos should maybe be "be aware of such patterns in your communities bc they definitely exist" and not "this guy is uniquely awful" and I feel like a lot of the discussion I've seen surrounding this has been severely failing at that. Most ppl who've spent any significant amount of time on tumblr prob either have internalised at least one of those thought patterns, have had to de-internalise them, or have had to be extremely vigilant to not internalise them (which is done by, you know, seeking out other sources, which also seemed like an important takeaway from the videos)
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -
I am fine with "the audience" -
downloading my fics
printing my fics
copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics
sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3
making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss
doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc
I am not fine with "the audience"
doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity
feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever
Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.
Enjoy the fandom things.
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