#some people just want to lick boots I guess

[barleyo]

Rural Bliss.

Real Dad! Leon X F! Reader (smut)

A/N: You, as a reader, are responsible for your own media consumption. It is up to you to read the tags that I have provided and determine whether or not this is a piece of writing that you would like to partake in. If not, scroll on by, if you do, please enjoy! Remember, I am not responsible for any discomfort you feel if you choose to read this.

Tags: incest (daddy-daughter), dub-con, oral (f receiving), LARGE AGE GAP (18 and 40+), pwp (light plot), mentions of predatory behavior, mutual creepiness, dark and disturbing content, choppy ass writing

Wordcount: 1.8k

!!! DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT/DARK CONTENT !!!

Your mom had finally done it. She found a halfway decent guy and let him wife her up faster than you could say 'I do.' You weren't exactly mad about it. He was a decent enough guy, and he made your mom happy, so whatever. The only part that you were against was the fact that you would be staying with your estranged father for the rest of your summer until your mom and her boy-toy got back from their extensive honeymoon.

Your dad fucked off pretty quickly after you were born. Moved himself far away into the middle of nowhere, not once reaching out or keeping in touch. A small part of you wanted to know him, but a larger part of you was pissed that you would have to now temporarily live with a man who you could just barely remember the name of. 

What was it again? Leonard? Lucas? No, no, that's not right. Leon? Yeah, something like that. Leon. 

Leon, the man who left you and your mom. The man who, instead of raising you, decided to lick his wounds in the deep country, likely making a meager living off of growing potatoes and carrots. The man who was a stranger, connected to you only by blood. 

The man whose front porch you were currently standing on, banging on his door without a care in the world. You looked around while you knocked. It was a large bit of land. A few neighbors nearby, but not within spitting distance. At the very least, this town had a few stores with maybe a few people your age lingering around them. 

"I'm coming, damn it!" His steps were loud, you could hear them from all the way outside. The heaviness of his work boots must've weighed him down quite a bit. The screen door flew open and his face softened. "Oh, hey kid. Didn't know you'd be here so early. Come in." 

You followed him inside, letting your eyes trail his face and frame. You'd only seen a picture or two of him before. He wasn't quite what you were expecting. He looked a lot older now than he did in the photos. More tired, less lively. His crow's feet and smile lines stuck out, but if the lonely, uncomfortable vibe of his house was any clue, you assumed he hadn't been smiling much in his life. 

He wasn't bad looking, though. Time hasn't weathered him, and you could tell he took care of himself. His arms and chest looked strong, clearly he had found some way to stay fit out in his desolate chunk of farmer-country. You could see why your mom picked him. He looked like a good one, despite his fleeting nature. 

"You're gonna be stayin' for a few months, yeah?" Leon didn't seem uncomfortable with your presence, so you felt a bit more calm.

"Yeah, I guess so. Mom didn't really give me all the details, just kinda sprung it on me."

"Believe me, I know," he said under his breath. "Well, this place isn't much, 'm sure it's not what you're used to." He locked the door behind you and flashed an apologetic look. 

"It's fine. I'll make it work." You looked around. It looked lived in, strangely worn despite nobody else ever living there.

He led you down a dimly lit hallway, the floorboards groaning beneath their weight, until they reached a single room. It was a small bedroom, adorned with faded wallpaper and completely wooden furniture. The single window offered a glimpse of the bare, green landscape outside. 

"This'll be your room. You can unpack your things."

Hardly a week passed by and you were already sick to death of living with your dad. His jokes were bad. His cooking was shit. His attempts at bonding with you were creepy at best and damn near-assault at worst. He let his hands drift all over you when he pulled you in for hugs and tried pecking a kiss on your mouth before you went off to bed each night, and damn it, you let him.

Again and again, every night, letting that old man press his chapped lips against yours, holding back your urge to force your tongue into his mouth.

He bought you gifts that no other fathers would think about getting their daughters. Skimpy little clothes that left nothing to the imagination, while he wrote it off by claiming ignorance.

"That's what girls your age wear, right? I can't keep up with what you kids are into," Leon would say, covering his ass with feigned dopiness. 

His only redeeming quality was that he was hot and mostly oblivious. It was fucked up to think about it that way, but without having much other male contact during your stay, Leon was starting to becoming quite the piece of eye candy. The best part is that he thought nothing of it, acting like his teenaged daughter spending hours staring at his half-naked, sweaty body while he worked in the hot sun was normal. Just another day. Nothing special. 

He didn't make you work on the farm with him, so you got to do all the watching. You got to see those strong arms lift hay bales for the horses and chop trees for firewood. Most of your days were spent watching him from the front porch, mentally cursing yourself out when you felt your thighs clench together instinctually at his sexy movements. 

What was wrong with you? 

Were years of fatherlessness finally catching up to you? Couldn't muster any real love for the old man, so sexual yearning was the next best thing? Eye-fucking your dad and sharing touches that lasted too long were the cost of him skipping out on you.

You rationalized it the best you could. Maybe you didn't actually want him, maybe the solitude of the countryside was getting to you. Maybe there was something in the air, some kind of sex-pollen floating in the breeze that made you wanna get bent over by a man twice your age that just so happened to be related to you. Closely related.

Leon didn't really know how to treat a woman well, but he tried his best with you. It was his first time really being a dad, but honestly, he hated it. Being a 'dad' sucked, especially when he'd rather have his daughter as his girlfriend. 

You made him so frustrated, so unsure of himself. Leon's only experience with girl's your age was in getting them liquor they couldn't legally buy themselves, fucking them like plastic sex dolls, and leaving them for someone else to woo and screw. 

He couldn't quite do that to you, though. He couldn't get you drunk and take advantage of you, pumping and dumping in you without a care about your pleasure. He had to take care of you, your health and comfort. All he really wanted was to take care of your body.

You were his little girl. He'd fuck you like he actually gave a damn about you if he ever got the chance, and he most definitely wouldn't be leaving you for anyone else.

That type of thinking brought him here. 

"Daddy, please..."

The walls in his house were too damn thin. He could practically hear each thrust of your fingers into your cunt from his bedroom. Your bed screeched agonizingly against the floors, punctuating your moans and hisses of pleasure. 

He saw his opportunity and took it. He had waited long enough, and this was the least he could do, right? You needed him, right? Right.

He pushed your door open, not having the decency nor the self-restraint to knock. You felt your body go still, but kept your hands between your legs. 

"If you needed me, coulda told me. Don't like t'hear you in here whining." Leon sat on the edge of your bed, crawling his way between your legs. "Fuck, that's pretty." 

He took in the sight of your fingers stuffed into your pudgy cunt, slick dripping between each digit. 

"No, you're—! this isn't what it—" you tried prying your fingers out, but a strong hand wrapped around your wrist to keep you in place.

"Isn't what it looks like? How about what it sounds like, huh? Sounds like you want your daddy to dull that ache in you." 

He was so far gone. He normally never did this. Leon was a man who took. He took younger girls virginity, mouth, pussy, or other. He was the one that got sucked off and got his perv dick wet. But for his baby? You, the little nymph who fell gracefully into his grasp? He was foaming at the mouth for a chance to slurp your pussy.

"Open up, come on. Got nothin' to be shy about," he urged, forcing your legs open, pulling your fingers out, and shimmying closer to you. "Nothin' I haven't seen before."

That was somewhat of a lie. Sure, he saw pussies all the time when he bullied his cock into them, but he was normally never nose to clit, ready to lick.

He stuck his needy tongue out, lapping up the juices that you worked up when you rubbed yourself raw. He swirled around you clit as a test, trying to see what felt good for you. He soon settled on puckering his lips around your bud and sucking, swapping his spit in and out of his mouth to keep you lubed up. 

Your voice broke with hushed whines and chants. Yes's and oh's rang out, filling Leon's ears and his ego. 

He pulled his head back and lob a wad of spit onto your clit, chuckling when you shivered. 

"Feel good?" His thumb traced your clit in little figure eights. 

"Mm, s'good." Your hands trailed through his thick, soft hair. You gripped it tightly, pulling his head back to your cunt. "No, don't stop, jus' need your mouth again."

His sharp, strong nose bumped against the top of your pussy while he munched down on you greedily. His tongue traveled around you in an indecisive manner. One moment, he was using flat strokes to lick on your swollen nub, then pointing his tongue while he fucked it in and out of you. 

Despite the sporadic nature of it, the warmth and wetness of the contact of his mouth on you felt like heaven. It didn't matter what he was doing, as long as he was looking up at you with his piercing eyes and swallowing down your slick, you were satisfied.

"Dad, oh my God, yes!" It felt like venom coming off of your tongue when you moaned it, but tasted like honey at the same time. Something about it was so wrong, but felt so natural.

As your legs tightened around Leon's head and trapped him between your thighs, you knew it was meant to be. You were meant to be your daddy's princess. You were meant to feel like mouth on you, to be spoiled by his tongue, words, money, and his cock. You had been missing out on it for so long. 

You spent the rest of your summer making up for lost time, discovering just what having a daddy was meant to feel like.

[arceus-insanity]

Something I never particularly liked about Endeavor's atonement, is that he never gave or gave up anything he actually wanted.

Like Endeavor was always willing to risk his life and limb as a hero, so any life-threatening risks or bodily harm he receives is just part of the job he was always willing to do from the beginning.

Him building a house for his remaining family members, only he won't be there?

Endeavor never cared whether he lived with his family or not, all that mattered to him was creating the strongest hero in Shoto.

So he never showed any want to be with his family until Shoto was already on his way to being a great hero.

It was barely an afterthought to him that was never followed through on.

The ending only makes all this worse, because it looks like he replaced each member of his family that he lost with heroes, the people he really wanted to be around...

Fuyumi = Burnin, onima = Natsuo, Hawks = Touya

Shoto on the path to heroic success.

And Rei there too, I guess for some reason???

Just wheeling him around...

Do you feel similarly or different about all this?

DING DING DING We have a winner!

Endeavor never has to sacrifice anything, he never chooses his family over his precious number one spot. He only even remembered they existed after he got his Precious.

And something I noticed is he is full of shit, and believes his own shit.

Like he thinks that 'oh I'll make a house for all my family members to live in' (Which we never see happen, so once again empty bullshit as always). But he never asks them what they want, it is incredibly bold to assume they would all want to live together, or even be able to with their careers, and if the kids want to start their own families. We also know Shoto likes traditional Japanese flooring, but what about the rest of them, and does Endeavor even know that?

One thing I've never seen anyone call out is his manipulative gaslighting speech to Natsuo after being rescued from Ending. He says that he didn't save Natsuo because he didn't want to make like Natsuo feel like he has to forgive him, only to without hesitation force him into a hug. So fucking much for respecting Natsuo's autonomy.

And this ain't the first time this lazy coward has froze when his kids are in immediate danger, we see him standing safely outside the flames with his fire resistance while Touya who's weak to fire burned on the peak. With Endeavor of course claiming 'he did everything he could'.

We also find out he harrassed Fuyumi into giving him Shoto's, his fucking masterpiece, number. Which he uses to text Shoto, in the middle of not just his workday, but fucking class hours! So much is wrong with this, this doesn't make him look good or show any atonement or redemption. What it does is make me think a lot less of both this excuse of a human being and his daughter (The start of her enabler arc). He's doubling down on past behaviour, quite stupidly I might add. And why the fuck did he need to get it from Fuyumi? Presumably, he's the one paying for the phone, he should just have the number from that!

Once again this man openly admits he only offered the work-study to Deku and Bakugou to manipulate Shoto. And constantly favors him when it comes to teaching. Understanding Deku's word vomit isn't difficult, even with him stupidly over-explaining it

What we don't see (or hear of) is him doing anything for or with Fuyumi, the only kid that wants anything to do with him (despite her character profile saying she resents him)

He is constantly given credit for shit he actively isn't doing!

But he and the narrative constantly throw him a pity party the second consequences are even hinted at. Not to mention he is also constantly rewarded for his (non-existent) efforts, Shoto chooses to work with him, Rei forgives him, Hawks, Burnin, Best Jeanist, etc are around to lick his boots clean and make sure he doesn't have to face any of those hinted at consequences. Boo fucking Hoo, the League (and specifically Dabi in this) deserved to win, and by the end, I was convinced that they would have been better for society

[jokeringcutio]

Otis B. Driftwood X F. Reader - Migraine (Explicit 18+ ficlet)

Fandom: House of 1000 Corpses, Pairing: Otis B. Driftwood x Reader Warnings: Period/Blood, Menstruation Kink, Migraine!Reader, Headache!Reader. Dub-con situation, Dom/Sub tones, Explicit Smut, 18+ material, Dark Romance stuff. One-shot/Ficlet/Drabble written on a whim for my dear @myers-meadow 💜Hopefully this will elevate some of your pain.

Otis B Driftwood x Reader ->  Headache.

The ache was incredibly bad today. The blinding light was too bright for your eyes, the sounds the other family members made were too loud for your ears, and the smell of the decaying bodies was too putrid for your sensitive nose.

You rolled over in the bed, curtains drawn so you basked in a peaceful silent darkness. A breath of relief escaped your lips. Your arm was drawn over your head, elevating some of the pain you felt like a band around your forehead, pushing against your temples, stabbing into your skull on occasion.

All you wished for was a little peace and quiet. A wish that was denied when Otis came barging in under loud noises. The soles of his boots creaked, his clothes rustled, the gun in his hands clicked and he was cursing. None of it quiet.

He was followed by Baby who wasn’t nearly as loud, but neither was she quiet. She chuckled as she came to stand in the doorway and observed you. “Bloody dark,” you heard Otis say, then flinched when he switched the light on. You drew your arm even tighter over your face, covering your eyes which you squeezed shut tight.

“I need some goddamn release, babe,” you heard him say. Then felt how his hands were upon your thighs, prying them apart until he pushed himself roughly in between them. “Open up those pretty eyes, sweet cheeks.”

When you refused, you felt his grip falter. “Open up, sweetpie,” he tried again, his voice growing darker. Like a warning.

You heard a huff, then felt his grip on you tighten.

Behind Otis, you heard Baby push herself away from the doorpost. “She ain’t into it, Otis,” she said. You heard her footsteps and the sound of her voice coming nearer to you.

“What’s wrong?” Otis asked, but it was met with silence. “Is she broken or something?” Must be to Baby. “Are you broken?” Otis asked gruffly, this time obviously to you. You felt a slap against your inner thigh, then felt how he moved out from between your legs with a growl.

“Let me guess,” Baby said, her sweet voice near your ear. She must be leaning forward to you, you guessed, for you felt her hot breath roll against your ear. “You’re having a headache,” here she hesitated to give you a once-over, then licked her lips. “And you’re on your period.”

You grunted, and Baby straightened again with a smile. “See!” she said, sounding way too happy. “I am a real people person!” Yeah, when those people are toys you can play with or dead, you thought grumpily.

But the fact was, you were suffering from a really nasty migraine attack. It had crawled upon you all too slowly, and yet you hadn’t noticed it had until it was there. Your head hurt, it throbbed and was pierced all at once. Your tummy hurt, your abdomen squeezing painfully while the first of your monthly blood was violently brought forth. Really nothing was pleasant about this situation. You felt tired, angry, sick. Moody to a point you didn’t even want to meet yourself at this stage. Could they not fuck off and leave you here to die?

Well, not really die, but… You felt horrible, and not at all in the mood for anything. You just wanted to lie there until the pain inside your head faded and the ache in your belly subsided.

“Then we can fuck in the dark,” Otis said, the words instantly followed by the clicking of the light switch. Darkness surrounded you once more. You heard Baby click her tongue, probably shaking her head.

“Yeah, you do whatever,” you heard her say. “I’m off to my own room. Come join me if you want some daylight fun.” Then she was gone.

The bed dipped again as Otis came to sit over you, a knee pressed at either side. He dipped his head forth. Warm hands grabbed your wrists, pulling them away from your face until your arms were trapped above your head. You felt how his long hair tickled your skin before his warm lips were placed over yours, capturing them in a kiss.

So he was truly doing this? You gasped once the kiss broke and opened your eyes to stare up at him in the darkness the room provided. The vague outline of his shape was visible, like an angry grey silhouette that moved in the dark. Only, his shape was filled with colorful blocks, little colored lights that your head filled in despite the darkness. A method of torture, you were sure. A reason you hated to have headaches like these. Even with the lights out, your eyes still managed to hurt, and in effect, so did your head.

“You’d better not be fucking with me,” the angry growl came from above you, where Otis sat up to take off his top. You could hear him unzip his pants before his hands sought yours to unzip them as well. He started to tug them down your hips. “If this headache stuff is just bullshit,” he warned you.

“It’s real,” you croaked, then flinched as you tried to look at him. “I wouldn’t fake-“ you flinched again, then tried to wiggle when you noticed he was trying to take your underpants down. The attempt was miserable. Your hips hardly moved. Your head spun too wildly to coordinate your body.

Then you felt how his hand came to rest between your thighs, pushing them apart. A slap of his palm against your bare cunt alerted you that he had succeeded in taking your pants off. A growl escaped your lips as you arched your back again. A finger slid roughly into your slit, pressing deep until you felt his knuckle. His nail scraped past your sensitive walls that instantly fluttered around the digit, earning you a rough laugh.  “Not want this, eh?” you heard Otis say. “Liar.”

You gasped again, arching your back. A wet squelch was heard when he retracted his finger till only the tip was inside, then he pushed in again.

“I said no,” you gasped, breathlessly. “I’m not feeling well. I’m bleeding.”

“So?”

That caught you speechless. Because indeed. So? So what? Why wasn’t he bothered by it?

And then you reminded yourself who you were dealing with here. If anyone wouldn’t be repulsed by blood, it would be this artistic murderer. While you were still in a daze, he kneeled between your legs. A sinful sound came from your cunt when his lips engulfed your sensitive bud. You felt his lips upon you, joining his finger while he pumped, eagerly suckling your clit and licking your cunt. as if he were hungry for your blood. You gasped, this time in pleasure, then you moved your arms down until your hands came to rest on the top of his head. Your fingers curled in the strands there before tightening and pulling him closer, effectively forcing him to slobber and suck and nip at your aching cunt until you had your fill.

He lapped at you eagerly, desperate for the nectar that spilled from your core. Slick mingled with blood. Your womb clamped painfully inside of you, but the pleasure was making the sensation more and more bearable until you’d forgotten your period pain completely.

You were moaning, guiding Otis up and down and closer. His nose against your pussy lips while his tongue dove in deep. His finger was joined by another. The two thick digits curled and twisted inside of you. And then, when he considered you ready enough for him, he jerked from your grip and sat up between you.

He propped your legs up and over his shoulders and nearly folded you in half as he bent over you. The tip of his hard cock, throbbing and dripping pre-cum, pressed against your opening, then slid in without little resistance. Both of you cried out in tandem while you felt him bottom out. A growl escaped Otis, and you saw the white glint of his gritted teeth in the dark.

Otis’s hands were upon your arms, gripping you while he set a steady pace. Slick sounds filled the room while you shortly worried about staining the bed. A stupid notion, you thought. The bed had been stained by the blood of so many others before you.

Otis was a murderer after all. An Artist. A lover of gore.

No wonder he took you with such fervor while your blood spread across his shaft. Your pussy was sensitive, more than you remembered it to have ever been before. It pulsed around his shaft, milking him, begging for each and everything he could give.

You heard how it affected him. How his low grunts and husky curses became more passionate and more desperate with each thrust and with each pull of your cunt. All too soon, he had you arching your back in pleasure while an orgasm washed over you. Your nipples peeked against your shirt, your cunt clenched down tight. And still he kept thrusting.

“Fuck,” he groaned. It took him more effort to enter you when you clamped down on him like a vice. He had to forcibly pull back his cock and slam it in again, time after time, until the head of his cock hit a pleasurable spot deep inside and your walls started to flutter again.

Your toes curled with delight. He fucked you through your first orgasm, and onto the next. You bit your lip to keep from crying out, but he was thrusting mercilessly, pounding you deep and hard, battering that sweet spot deep inside of your cunt until you saw stars again. This time not from the migraine. These were the stars of horny pleasure. Stars of eroticism. Of sheer luck.

Of him giving you his essence.

Because you felt it. Felt how his hips stuttered and how his warm cum shot deep inside. You heard his hoarse yell, the obscenities he uttered while his hands sought your face and cupped your cheeks.

Then you felt how his lips captured yours in a kiss. His hips pressed tight against yours, his softening cockhead nudging your cervix with the last spasms of his orgasm. Then he slid out.

“Fuck, I think I’ve found a new favorite pastime,” Otis said while he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. You squinted your eyes when he clicked on the bedside lamp, and quickly hid your face behind your arms again. Okay, so the migraine hadn’t gone away. But the pain in your lower region had been replaced by the soft tingling of your afterglow. That was an improvement.

You watched through half-lidded eyes how Otis smirked down at you. He was still undressed, pants tucked to his ankles while yours were discarded halfway across the room. Then he bent over and dipped a finger into a pool of juices that stained the sheets. You watched, mesmerized, as he lifted his finger. He held it in front of his eyes to study it. The bright red blood glinted in the light of the lamp.

Then his eyes turned to you, a similar glint within them, while a smile spread on his lips. “Oh, we’re definitely gonna do this again, pumpkin.” You parted your lips to protest, but he saw the attempt and quickly interfered. “Na-ah,” he tusked you patronizingly so. “Need I remind you? You’re mine.”

And then he was upon you again. His lips ravishing yours in a fiery kiss. Besotted with twisted love and hungry for more of your blood.

He was inside of you before you could protest. And you knew, your life would never be the same again.

[avengerscompound]

The Tower - Under the Table

The Tower - Under the Table

Series Masterlist

Pairing:  Avengers x OFC, Bruce Banner x Bucky Barnes x Clint Barton x Wanda Maximoff x Steve Rogers x Natasha Romanoff x Tony Stark x Thor x Sam Wilson x OFC (Elly Cooper)

Word Count: 4585

Warnings:  smut (ten personal bixexual orgy, oral sex, vaginal fingering, anal sex, some use of powers, blindfolds)

Synopsis:  It’s Elly’s birthday, and after dinner the group have their own special kind of party game, one where they find out how well they know each other, and who can keep a good poker face.

Author’s Note:  Long time no update! I’ve been writing really slow at the moment.  But I am still doing these if you have requests.  This one was Requested by bubsanddoll21 on Wattpad. You can send in your requests too.

Takes place between The Tower and The Holiday Special

Under the Table

In the early days of my relationship with the Avengers, it was a rare event that all of us had a meal together at a table.  Ten people at a table felt more like a dinner party than a date.  Sitting around on the couches just felt more familiar and comfortable. So when we did sit down to eat, it was a special occasion.

This one was my birthday.

The others had wanted to do something special, so they decorated the conference room and Bucky, Sam, and Wanda had cooked a large meal.  It was nice and at the point where most of us had finished eating, Tony leaned back in his chair and put his hands behind his head.  “We should have brought some games up with us,” he said.  “I could go a few rounds of Cards Against Humanity right now.”

“I could go down and get something,” Steve offered.

“You’re still eating, Steve,” Wanda said.  “Someone else can go.”

“Or!” Clint said, waggling his eyebrows.  “Or… we could play a different kind of game.”

“Why do I get the feeling that you’re not talking about charades?” Sam asked.

“Because you know me too well, Sammy,” Clint said.  “I saw this thing…”

“What have I told you about watching that stuff on the company wifi?” Tony scolded.

Clint smirked at him.  “To invite you along when I do,” he teased and stuck his tongue out at Tony.  “Anyway, as I was saying; I saw this thing.  Someone gets under the table and starts going down on someone.  And if the person getting blown or eating out gives it away that it’s happening to them, they have to go under the table.  And if someone guesses the wrong person, it’s them.  Like a Blow Job Roulette.”

“Okay, that sounds fun,” I said.  “Can we?” 

There was a murmur around the table, and one by one everyone agreed it sounded like it could be fun.

“Birthday girl goes first,” Sam said.

“Shouldn’t I be the one that gets eaten out first?” I countered. 

“But then we’d all know it was you, and you’d just end up under the table,” Sam argued.  “You might as well start down there.”

I laughed.  The logic was flawed, but I figured it was as good a place as any.  “Alright, pants off everyone,” I said, slipping off my chair onto my knees under the table.  Everyone shuffled around, some of them just opening their pants and pulling their cocks out, while others stood and pushed their pants all the way down.  Wanda and Natasha were both wearing skirts, so they just took off their panties and hoisted up their skirts.  It was quite a sight under the table.  Nine people all around me, pants down, and legs spread.  Some of the men were already half-hard.  I looked around, picking my target.

Of all the members of the group, Wanda was calling to me the most.  She was wearing thigh-high black socks, heeled boots, and a black skirt that was bunched up.  Her legs were spread and the little thatch of pubic hair glistened invitingly.

I crawled over to her, putting my hands on her thighs.  She tensed and I ducked my head forward, licking up her slit.  I wondered what she looked like right now.  How she was hiding what was happening.  If she was hiding it.  From where I was, it seemed so obvious.  Her muscles had clenched and she’d tilted her hips forward.  I could even feel a slight shake in her thighs.  I couldn’t imagine it not being totally obvious from above the table, but if she was, no one had said anything yet.

I pushed my tongue inside her and flicked it up over her clit, painting little shapes over it.  She squirmed and her cunt flooded, and as the tart, musky flavor of her slick filled my mouth, Bucky, Tony, and Clint all called out at once. “Wanda!”

“No fair!” Wanda whined as I pulled away.

“That’s the game, Wanda,” Sam said.  “Now under the table.”

I crawled out and wriggled out of my pants as Wanda climbed in under the table.  I sat down and nothing seemed to happen for a while.  I could hear Wanda moving under the table for a moment, and then after that, it was just the sounds of people picking at the last of the food and random conversation in the group.

All of a sudden Clint yelped and practically rocketed up off his chair. “Wanda!” he scolded.  “No powers!”

She got up giggling as everyone burst out laughing.  “Did someone get invaded by some pink light?” Tony teased.

“That’s one way to put it,” Clint said as he climbed under the table.

It took a really long time before the next person became clear.  I was studying everyone very closely, and the only thing that had me wondering was the slightly bored looks in the eyes of Natasha and Tony.  Which made me think it was more likely Tony as he usually dominated the conversation.  It wasn’t until his brow furrowed and he moved his hand under the table that I knew for sure it was him.

“Tony!” I yelled, pointing at him.  “It’s you!”

“Ah, shit,” Tony said, reaching under the table with both hands and began to rut his hips.  “Wait, Clint, I’m nearly done.”

“Hey now,” Steve said.  “You can wait like the rest of us.”

Clint made a choked sound and stumbled out from under the table, his eyes watering, and he wiped his mouth.  “Jesus,” he cursed.  “Tony was a terrible choice.”

“Oh, baby,” Tony said, as he smoothed down his shirt.  “The amount of calls I’ve taken while I’ve been balls deep in someone.”

“Alright, alright, get under the table smart ass,” Steve said.

Tony laughed as he climbed under, and I decided on a completely different strategy.  I glanced around the table, trying to see if anyone had given it away, but at the same time, I tensed my hands and took in a shaky breath.

“Elly!” Clint, Steve, Natasha, and Sam all said at once.

“No!” I shouted and Bruce groaned. “It’s Bruce!”

“You little…!” Natasha scolded.  “That was evil!”

Tony had broken down into laughter under the table and he crawled his way out.  “That was awesome,” he said.  “Now what?  Do all of you have to get under the table?”

“Might I suggest that we alter the game?” Thor asked.  “Perhaps, rather than all of us trying to work out who is being pleasured, Lady Elise should be blindfolded and have to work out which of her lovers is pleasuring her.”

“I think that sounds like a fantastic idea,” Natasha said.  “If she can guess, then they can make her come.  If not, she just gets edged.”

“What do you think of that, Elise?” Steve asked.

I nodded enthusiastically.  “Yes, please. It is my birthday after all.”

“We might need lube and something to blindfold El with,” Sam said.  “I mean - if we’re going to have real fun that is.”

Wanda lifted her loop scarf off over her head, and Tony, Clint, Natasha, and Thor all fished in their pockets and pulled out lube.  What was funny was none of them had the same kind of lube.  Tony had the warming gel kind, Clint’s was espresso flavored, Natasha’s doubled as a massage gel, and Thor’s was an oil he’d brought from Asgard and came in a delicate-looking, hand-blown glass bottle.

Steve and Wanda approached me as the others started clearing the table.  “Let’s get you ready, Elise,” Steve said.

Steve lifted my shirt off over my head and Wanda unfastened my bra.  I let the fabric slip down my arms and Steve tossed both it and my bra aside.  Wanda kissed me softly and then wrapped the scarf around the top of my head, obscuring my vision.  When it was in place properly, and I had assured them I couldn’t see anything, Steve lifted me and put me on the table.

I lay back and lifted my legs, spreading them and resting my feet at the edge of the table.  They made me wait a moment, and while I waited, they were clearly not keeping their hands to themselves.  There were moans and the soft wet sounds of kissing around me, which only made that wait worse.

My thighs were trembling by the time someone touched me.  Right away I knew it was one of the guys and not Natasha or Wanda, and given the fact that he touched me with both hands, and they were both flesh, I knew it wasn’t Bucky either.

There was no preamble. Whoever it was just lunged in and began to lap up the length of the slit.  They didn’t even try spreading me with their fingers, rather their tongue pushed between my folds and just got to work.  I could feel the scratch of their beard.  Yet, even without that, they were very skilled with their tongue.  It started wide, sweeping up from my entrance to my clit, and then began to focus on the little but, sending little jolts through me.  I didn’t even need the extra sensation of their long hair tickling the insides of my thighs, I knew it was Thor.  The size of his hands, the beard, and the technique all screamed the god of thunder to me.

“Mmm… Thor,” I moaned, lifting my hips to meet his mouth.

A deep booming chuckle sounded between my legs and Thor sent a jolt of electricity right through my clit making my body jerk up hard.  I nearly came just from that.

“How do you even do that?” Tony laughed. “You are too good at this game.”

“You gotta make me come now,” I said breathlessly, reaching down to tangle my hands into Thor’s hair.

“Don’t worry, lover.  I will,” Thor said.

He was good to his word.  He pulled my clit between his lips and began to flick his tongue over it.  Every now and again, he’d send another spark into it, that made my core muscles clench completely out of my control.  It brought me careening to the edge very quickly and the fourth time he did it, the dam burst and I came, arching up hard off the table as my orgasm crashed through me.

“Fucking hell!” I cried out.

“Damn, Thor,” Sam said.  “That had to be some kind of record.”

“I am a god, Samuel,” Thor bragged.

There was only a short wait for the next person to move up.  It was another one of the men and once again, clearly not Bucky.  This person was much more tentative than Thor, spreading my folds with his fingers, and slowly swirling his tongue over them.   He was tender and methodical, and it sent a warm buzz through me, oozing out like honey on tiles.  There was no beard, and the very faint tickle of the hair on his head on my thighs.

“Bruce,” I moaned, arching my back and lifting one leg so it was draped over his shoulder.

“What the fuck?” Tony cursed.  “You’re gonna be having so many orgasms tonight.”

“I know you all too well,” I moaned.  “Gonna have to mess up on purpose so I don’t die.”

“Let’s see how you go,” Bruce said and eased two fingers inside me.

Bruce was slower and more methodical about things than Thor, at least initially.  He pushed his fingers in deep, touching my g-spot and then stroking over it.  As he did, he pulled my clit between his lips and flicked his tongue over it.  The louder I moaned the rougher he got, so it wasn’t long before he’d gone from careful and slow, to rough and fast.  His fingers hammered into my g-spot, over and over, sending sharp jolts right through me, making it so I couldn’t think straight.  Beside me, someone had started having sex, and from the sounds of it, it’d be a while before Clint was down between my legs.

My orgasm peaked and Bruce pushed his fingers against my g-spot and twisted his wrist, and I came, my back arching off the table as I cried out, shuddering with it.

Bruce hummed and pulled away. “Mmm… I love seeing you come,” he hummed, leaning down to kiss me.

I sucked my slick from his lips and he pulled away, running his hand down my stomach and patting my pussy before pulling away.  I didn’t have to wait very long before the next person to take their place.  Right away I could tell it was one of the women, which narrowed the choice down to two.  I almost wanted to just take a shot in the dark and really freak them out.  I didn’t even need to though, the slow tease of her fingers up my thighs, and the way she ran her nails over my hips as she leaned in, I knew right away it was Natasha.  Not because she always touched me like that, but just that it was uniquely her.

“Natasha!” I said quickly.

She cursed in Russian and Tony burst out laughing, while at least two other people applauded me.  I would have taken a bow if I wasn’t flat on my back.  “That’s my girl,” Natasha praised and got to work.

Her nimble fingers pushed inside me and immediately pushed against my g-spot. I gasped and bucked up hard against her, but she just pushed my hips back down and continued doing it.  She countered the intense pressure of her fingers against that sweet spot inside me with her tongue on my clit.  It was intense.  I couldn’t focus.  Lights popped behind my eyes and each time I tried to say something all that came out was an animalistic cry.

When I came, I gushed, spraying Natasha with my juices as I arched hard on the table.  It was so intense, it knocked every conscious thought out of my head and I just oozed down onto the table, breathing heavily, completely forgetting that there were still six more people to go.

“Well done, Mishka,” Natasha praised.“I hope you have more in you.”

I wasn’t so sure.  In fact, when the next person stepped up, it took me a moment to realize there was even someone there.  Their tongue was lapping up and down my folds before I was truly aware enough to remember I was supposed to be playing a game.

The way they lapped their tongue was almost soothing after the intensity of the last orgasm I had.  There was a scratch of beard on my skin, but my foggy head made it hard to think about which beard it could be.

Finally, it clicked into place.  No metal hand.  That cut out Bucky.  Clint and Steve were both clean-shaven.  Which just left Tony and Sam.  I was sure that Tony would want to torture me after what happened and he wouldn’t be going easy on me at all. “Sam…” I moaned, the sounds completely breathless.

“We should never have doubted you,” Thor said.  “This is truly impressive.”

“Are you sure you’re not peeking?” Clint asked.

“Just know you all,” I argued in that same breathless moan.

Sam pulled back and a moment later there was the press of his cock against my cunt. “Let’s make you come a different way,” Sam said.

He lifted my legs so they were up against his chest and he pushed into me.  As he started to thrust into me, I gripped the edge of the table to hold myself steady. “Oh fuck,” I moaned.  I was so sensitive and overworked, that I knew the next six orgasms would happen really fast.  I was going to be completely over-stimulated by the time we were done.

Sam slid his hands down my thighs and onto my cunt, and he began to rub my clit in tight circles. I mewled, arching my back and clenching tight around his shaft.  “Oh god, Sam.  Please…”  I didn’t even know what I was pleading for.  I just knew I needed something.  More, harder, slow down, be gentle.  Or maybe just to stop.

His thumb kept rubbing in tight circles on my clit and thrusting in fast and deep, and very quickly I was brought spiraling to the edge once more.  He pinched my clit and I went toppling over, crying out and clenching my teeth as all my muscles clenched up at once.

“Good girl,” Sam praised.  “There we go.”

He slipped out of me and I let my legs fall on the table.  “You still okay?” he asked.

I nodded and made an incoherent sound.  He caressed my cheek and ran his thumb over my bottom lips.  “Elise, are you sure?”

I nodded again.  “Yeah.  I can do this.”

He stepped away and the next hand touched me. Just the right hand, and it slid up my legs and when it reached the apex of my thigh, the thumb ran up and down my slit.  Someone might have been just trying to mess with me, but I didn’t think so, and when the person crouched and their long hair teased the inside of my thighs it confirmed it.  “Bucky,” I said.

He laughed. “Damn it.  I was trying not to give it away.”

“That’s what gave it away,” I said.

“Alright, alright, let’s make you come then,” he said, sounding a lot like he was pouting.

He didn’t even bother to try and go down on me.  He just pushed my legs up against my body, lined his cock up to my cunt, and shoved in deep.  I gasped as he bottomed out and I felt the sharp sting of the head of his cock hitting my cervix.  “Bucky,” I whined.

“Sorry, honey,” he said, backing off a bit.  He smoothed his hands down my thighs and began to thrust.

I reached up, grabbing his wrists as he thrust into me and I wrapped my legs around his waist, drawing him in as tightly as I could.  “Bucky,” I moaned.  “Kiss me.”

He wrapped his right arm around my waist and lifted me, so I was sitting on the edge of the table and the cool metal of his thumb brushed over my lips.  I parted them, leaning forward as I wrapped my arms around him and pushed my hands into his hair.

He kissed me, his tongue pushing into my mouth.  I flicked my tongue forward to meet his and they danced together.  Bucky kept thrusting into me and I rolled my hips to meet him.  As worked up as I was, I knew I wouldn’t last, but the way this orgasm built felt so different from the past four.  It wound around me like a warm blanket.  I was engulfed by it, cocooned completely.  It heated me from the inside and yet I trembled in Bucky’s arms.  He held me close, thrusting in deep and kissing me with a passionate intensity that took my breath away.

When my orgasm washed over me, I threw my head back and clenched tight around me.  “Oh god, Bucky,” I moaned.

Bucky’s hips stuttered and he groaned loudly, burying his head in my neck. “Fuck, Elly,” he groaned, suddenly jerking forward and coming inside me.

“Bucky Barnes, you dirty dog,” Clint scolded.  “Leaving a mess in there for us to clean up.”

I swatted lazily in Clint’s direction as Bucky started laughing. “Oh like you’re not looking forward to that.”

He pulled out of me and I lay back with a groan.  It wasn’t long before someone else was between my legs.  They lifted them and spread them wide and then did something that gave them away immediately.  They laughed.

“What’s so funny, Tony?” I asked.

“Ah fuck,” he said. “Didn’t even get a chance to trick you.  I just had plans to go to town on you.”

“Mean,” he said, reaching for him.  “Go on, you gotta give me my prize.”

“Alright, alright,” he said and pushed his cock up against my cunt.  “It’s coming and so will you be.”

I laughed, but it was cut short as he shoved inside of me.  He thrust in so hard it nearly knocked the wind from me.  I cried out and reached above my head.  Someone grabbed my hand and I held onto them as Tony began to thrust into me.

He didn’t go easy on me the way Bucky had.  He grabbed my legs, held me in place, and just railed into me.  “Fuck… fuck… fuck…” I babbled as I was jolted on the table.  My fingers tightened around whoever’s hand I was holding.  It felt like this orgasm was being hammered into me.  Each thrust of Tony’s hips just made it build more and more until I was ready to burst.

It hit me hard, lights popped behind my eyes and I cried out, my hips bucking and my body writhing under him.  “Oh fuck yes, Tony!” I mewled.

Tony kept thrusting, fucking me through my orgasm, and with a shudder he came too, moaning as he did.  “There you go, Legolas,” Tony teased as he held me in place.

He leaned down and kissed me as he pulled out, and stepped away.  A lay on the table breathing heavily, waiting for the next person the move up.

I didn’t have to wait long, and once again, I knew who it was as soon as their hands were on my skin.

“Wanda,” I said.

She giggled.  “I knew there was no point trying to trick you.  But lucky you, now you get your prize.”

She took her hands off me completely and just as I wondered what she was doing, the warm tingle of her powers touched on my feet and began to wind their way up my leg.  It was slow going, and it didn’t settle on my cunt right away, rather, it wrapped its way right around me, making my whole body buzz and tingle.

I whined, squirming on the table.  I was still holding someone’s hand, and I gripped it tighter, trying to tether myself to something real.

“Please, Wanda,” I whined, bucking my hips.

She giggled again, but things started to get more focused.  It swirled around my nipples, tugging on them, and began to buzz against my clit. I moaned, arching my back and the pressure increased.  Every moan I made made her increase the pressure of her powers on me.  My nipples hardened almost painfully and a hot current ran right through me from my clit.  I was dripping on the table as my cunt clenched around nothing.

It started to feel like some kind of torture.  I was so close, and yet she was keeping me hovering there right at the edge.  “Please.  Please, Wanda.  I need … I need…”

“Yes, Elly?” she asked.

“I need to come,” I wailed.

A jolt shot through me, and just like that, I came, arching hard off the table, and screaming as my orgasm rocked through me, making me gush onto the table.  It was the most intense orgasm yet, and for a moment everything went black.

When the world returned, I was panting heavily, completely dazed as I rode out the extreme orgasm high.

“Holy shit, Wanda,” Natasha cursed.  “That was impressive.”

“Two more left, El,” Steve said.  “You sure you’ve got them in you?”

I nodded slowly.  “Think so.”

Someone moved up and skimmed the back of their fingers up the insides of my thighs.  It was a Clint trick, but not out of Steve’s playbook. Whoever it was leaned in, ghosting his lips up the insides of my soaked thighs.  His fingers moved to my cunt, spreading it with his fingers and running his tongue up my slit.  There was no beard, but both Clint and Steve were currently clean-shaven, so that didn’t give it away.  I really had no idea who was touching me.

I lifted my feet, put them on his shoulders, and flexed my toes.  Whoever it was was broad-shouldered and muscular.  That didn’t exactly narrow it down either.  And just because Steve was broader than Clint, I chose him.

“Steve?” I asked.

“You sure about that, darlin’?” Bucky asked. 

“No… but it’s my guess,” I moaned.

Some of the group started clapping.  “Well done, that’s all of you.  How about Clint and Steve make you come together, so you only have to do one more?” Sam suggested.

I nodded emphatically.  “Please.”

Steve moved forward, the thick head of his cock pressing against my cunt.  I raised my hips to meet him, wrapping my legs around his waist and pulling him closer to me.  He pulled back just a little and with a snap of his hips, he sunk in deep.

I gasped and arched my back.  As I did, Clint moved up beside me on the table and began to flick his tongue over my clit and play with my breast.  The table was jostled beside us and Clint grunted and let out a moan.

“Who’s fucking Clint?” I moaned.

“That’d be me, honey,” Sam replied.  “You want to see?”

I nodded.  “Please.”

The blindfold was taken off as Steve continued to thrust into me.  I blinked at the light and looked around, Taking everything in.  Steve was between my legs, holding me in place, his brow furrowed as he fucked me.  Clint was half propped on the table, bent over me, licking at my clit and that base of Steve’s cock.  Sam was behind him, one hand braced on Clint’s shoulder and the other on his hip as he thrust into him, jostling him against me.  The others were spaced around the table.  Most just watching.  Thor was the one holding my hand, though Wanda was bouncing in his lap, her eyes glowing pink.

Everyone else was just kissing and holding each other as they watched Clint and Steve bring on my final orgasm.  Seeing them just added to my pleasure, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

I relaxed back, just letting the pleasure wash over me, It encompassed me completely.  But in the end, it wasn’t either Steve or Clint that set my orgasm off, it was Wanda’s orgasm.

She cried out and her powers burst out of her and I was hit by a sudden, intense wave of her pleasure.  I came hard, all my muscles clenching at once making me arch violently off the table.  I cried out and my vision blacked out for a moment.  Wanda’s orgasm must have affected the others too.  Steve groaned and gripped my hips hard shoving into me and coming deep inside me.  Sam’s hips bucked and his head fell back as his hit too, and Clint suddenly arched like a cat and came in thick ropes onto the table.

I fell back breathing heavily as I rode the waves of my orgasm.  Steve hunched over me panting and Clint slithered down and lay there with his head on my stomach.

That’s how we stayed for a while and then Natasha stood.  “Okay.  How about we clean up here and head downstairs?  I think it’s time for a soak in the hot tub.” 

Steve sighed contentedly and slipped out of me.   He pulled up his pants and then picked me up, cradling me against him. “Good birthday?” he asked.

I hummed, snuggling against his chest and closing his eyes as I murmured my reply. “The best.”

~ END ~

[thedailydescent]

underrated claudia moments?

Soooo many. These are just from the top of my head:

2x01:

-When Louis starts shouting at Dreamstat and Claudia barely looks up, like "Oh Louis is Louis-ying again whatevs". Bonus points when she dumps the bags into his hands afterwards.

-When she's so excited about finding a vamp she doesn't even care that Louis hurts her while setting her shoulder, and jumps up swinging the arm around while stumbling around him still talking. She's so excited and optimistic in this scene in a way we haven't seen since 1x04. I can picture Delainey joyfully narrating in 1x04 while trying to discover as much as she possibly can.

2x02:

-When Louis and Claudia are talking about getting a "hard meal", and we cut to Louis and Claudia walking towards their new flat. In the previous scene she was wearing boots, and in this scene, she's in the exact same outfit but in heels instead, clearly stolen from her "hard meal". I like that in this season she's trying to find a look that works for her and is experimenting, as you can see in her fashion drawings she keeps above her coffin. And I believe this is the only time in the series we see her in heels? (tap dancing shoes don't count). From a Doylist perspective I can understand: they want to keep Claudia looking as small as possible so the actress can still look like a child, but from a Watsonian perspective I think that while Claudia is stylish, she is also practical and realistic. She can't travel, explore, and protect herself as well wearing the form-fitting dresses and heel lengths of the period.

-When she throws down the man in the murder mansion scene and shouts "Yes!" It makes me so happy for some reason :)

2x03: "What do they know about Cincinnati?"

2x04:

-Claudia was openly sarcastic in this episode which was both great and sad. "Birdie looooves the breeze" (I can never watch that awful performance again but I remember that line delivery) There's also "Still dressing your windows for your German tourists?", "Sounds like a line", "Tell me again how Sam licks the stage after every show, and I'll tell you a job I'd rather do", and "Tuan could play the part".

-I hate the scene for how upsetting it is, but when Armand shoves her into the wall you can see her clasping his wrist while numbly looking down before looking up and widening her eyes in shock at the treatment. It's a nice bit of acting from Delainey- like there's this automatic tendency to check out whenever someone puts their hands on her, but her realization that it's coming from Armand of all people, the one she thought herself safe from what with him being with Louis and by I'm guessing not showing any violent behaviour until now. Despite the warnings from Santiago and Sam about Armand, it's still a shock.

2x06:

-The way she just stabbed that girl through the neck into the wall with scissors lol. Almost a nice callback to 1x07 when she stabbed Antoinette through the heart (I think?) into the floor. You team up with awful men as a woman to attack women, you're getting stabbed with a sharp implement.

-Her reading "How to Win Friends" while Madeleine's reading her diaries. Then insecurely looking up from said book to say her younger writing may come off shallow and uninsightful. Claudia she's reading your victim's last words lol.

-"Pull up a chair. Let's start again." The way she says it too how many times has Claudia had to be the grown-up here??

-That look she gives Louis that says a thousand words after he says, "Does it matter? Got the result".

2x07:

I'm not ready to rewatch that episode yet (or ever), but I loved Claudia's manic, disbelieving laugh when Lestat says some bs about her "being an artful predator, just like me". I also loved how she kept glancing at Madeleine every so often during the trial to see how she was doing, and I liked when she put her head on her shoulder after she gave that speech about it never being about her :(

[bahja-blix]

😐💀 A Dumbass Appeared (Ask Edition) A post regarding Viv Stans (Part 2)

Before we begin I want to say that I will absolutely not be censoring the person in this for valid reasons. I'll however censor the people who are just regular visitors.

What brilliance unfolds in my ask box? They put themselves out there on purpose "because reason"... I guess?

Reminder This is the Internet, you put yourself out there, your out there forever and if you do something stupid or say something stupid, your idiocy might go viral enough where you get called out so don't expect people to cover you up when YOU did this To Yourself

When I changed my bio to say "Bored ASF, Ask a Goth" I didn't mean be a god damn loser and make up shit on purpose for Bait reasons.

Yes this is real and Yes these were sent by a Viv Stan and it's OBVIOUSLY Bait but I still wanted to review it just for fun because I was literally laughing my ass off and I ain't even high!! 🤣 that And the actual person was Serious about deleting their profile along with taking the time to remove one by one every like and post from their profile which is hilarious. I didn't even make a post at the time and they disappear Anyway 😂. So I had absolutely no option to respond regardless. Lol you didn't think I'd see that but I did LMAO. You took the time to send me this but couldn't take a couple seconds to block me right after so I don't see your profile disappear but I guess you're just that stupid. What stopped you from just deleting your account without going through lengths to type this shit up?

We start with Kona, a boot lickin Viv stan living in denial over the fact that their obviously a Viv Stan. I said I wasn't going to answer this but this is HORRIBLE 😂 How could I Not share!

I love how you literally sat here and took the time to go ""Anonymous"" on the first ask you sent me showing your name and profile only to turn around and send me Another ask and Then another begging to me down on your knees basically telling me to forget I saw your ass 🤣🤣🤣

Omfgfgfggg🤣🤣🤣

I absolutely applaud how you "went out of your way to ALL these critics" like your some kinda Big Dawg white knighting for Viv telling us to "Listen up" because God Damnit "This town ain't Big Enough for the two of us" only to completely disappear off the face of the earth because you knew I saw your ass and you got scared.

I'm assuming you saw my last post where I said "Stick it" when referring to someone else that didn't agree with the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community...so you took it to heart and used it in the ask!? Did my post offend you 🥺🥺🥺? Omg I'm terribly sorry that I'm not a boot licking Viv Stan... I truly am (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)

So... you attack Showtoonz for no reason other than *Double Checks Notes* ahh here we go "Having valid opinions" fresh off the table *chef kiss excuse* lol

LMAO they really said "Ass takes" omg no wayyy 😂

I also applaud how you basically said that the entirety of the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community an "embarrassment to our democracy" lol where that come from? and that the best argument you can come up with is that "*ughhh* your all "cOnSeRvAtIvEs" like did you travel across time and space through the Internet, see my page, and pretend to get triggered over the fact that I'm p***tically balanced in every direction?? Open minded if you will!? What does critiquing a show have to do with what's going on outside in the world? You do realize a lot of these people critiquing Viv Are in fact Democrats (me included in that spectrum) that Were fans of Viv and don't agree with Viv because she messes shit up on purpose 😂

Love how your one of those people that's obviously too far on the edge who are an actual embarrassment to society because this is the shit you put out there along with the

"YoUr NoT oNe Of Us" argument because what else would you pull out of your ass like legit your literally the type of person that likes to sniff your own fucking farts... Geez

I can't stop laughing 🤣

"One of Us! One of Us! Gooble gobble, Gooble gobble, One of Us! One of Us!" Like I can't. We Dems ain't gonna bow down to you and kiss your ass like your some kind of King so you might as well get over it buttercup

Regarding the last one for Bait reasons you decided to bring janky brained Joe into this... What a legend! You really showed us Dems the middle finger and went "Fuck ALL of You" 😂 Hey pal I'm NGL, but all I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be so into your own p***tical fart clouds so much because all that methane n shit will clog up your thinking.

"OMG I've been exposed by my own "Brilliance" in taking down these critics, please don't expose me"

W H E E Z E !!!

this last bits my favorite part

"*Clears throat* "If you disagree with me I'm going to "delete my account"

(Welp I guess I disagree with you :D, have a nice day ^^ Adios!! 🤣) Wait? You were actually Serious??? 🤣🤣🤣

"run to Twitter" with all my problems (because of course your one of those losers) and "bitch" to my two followers that "Will raise all hell" down onto those "Antis" who are so Mean and Negative where my post is sure to go viral enough to take down the entire critical community and reap their rights away from them"

Without any proof, but instead your tail tucked between your legs as you run and hide.

PA THETIC

Managed to get this on the way out. A Viv Stan in denial who's also a hypocrite. Oh but we "anti Viv Stan critics" have "ass takes" and "no valid criticism" You blindly support woomy... The same person who attacked multiple people in our communities for having valid opinions!

Fucking Cringe dude

[rachelambery]

apologies.

Janis Ian x Regina George - College AU! (No Cady)

warnings : angst ! sexual tones , fluff ... uhm i think that's it

"It's so nice in here!" Gretchen says, squealing and flapping her hands. Regina takes in the room, the plain walls, wooden bed frames. "Ugh." She sighs and places the bin she had in her hand onto the ground. Her and Gretchen make their way out of the dorm and back to her car grabbing their bags of clothes. Out of the corner of Regina's eyes, she catches a glimpse of black hair and a maxi skirt. looks like Janis. She brushes the thought off and continues upstairs behind Gretchen.

Even after taking the time to unpack and decorate her dorm, the thought of the Janis lookalike still lingers in her brain. "Do you ever feel bad for what we did to Janis?" Regina asks, plopping down on her beds, sliding off her shoes. "Uhm.. Sometimes, but it's been so long that it doesn't really bother me anymore," Gretchen says as she pins up a poster to the wall. "Why?" She adds on at the end. "No.. No reason." She smiles.

---

"Do you wanna go out? You've been down all day. There's a party in one of the frat houses, I'm sure there's a guy who will take your mind off things." Gretchen offers up, sifting through her clothes, looking for a good outfit. Regina nods and does the same, after a few minutes of looking she settles on an outfit. "Aren't college boys like.. really gross?" Regina questions, zipping up her boots. "I guess," Gretchen doesn't look away from the mirror as she does her makeup. "But some of them are nice, and clean." She shrugs casually. "Okay." She responds, kind of against the whole idea.

---

As they enter the house, there's a mob of people at the front, causing entering to be almost impossible. It's crowded, and nasty. "Fuck it's gross in here." Regina says under her breath. "HUH?!" Gretchen replies, already having hearing loss by the loud ass music and all the people talking. "NOTHING" Regina yells back, pushing through groups of people until she made it to the kitchen. She looks for someone she knows, but to no avail. Grabbing a cup and some vodka will suffice, as she throws back pure vodka she looks around for Gretchen, seeing her in the corner of the party with a guy already.

"Hey! Regina George!" A taller man says, Regina looks at him confused. Trying to figure out how the hell she knows this dude. "I sat next to you in Econ!" He adds in, noticing Regina's confused expression. Which, didn't leave. 'Did I even take econ? Who the fuck is this man. Why am I at this party.' Are all the thoughts running through her head. "Oh! Yeah.." She awkwardly replies. He starts talking, but Regina's already uninterested, saying 'Mhm, Yeah, and For sure.' at every opportunity possible.

As she takes in her surroundings, trying to ignore this dude. The same girl catches her attention. Maxi skirt, Black hair with messy bangs, Loud boots. But this time instead of thinking it's a Janis lookalike, it clicks. That's Janis! She practically breaks, she looks just as good as she did in highschool.

What am I thinking? Is all that runs through her head, maybe it's the alcohol. She hasn't even had that much. As she clicks back into the present, the man is still there. "Excuse me." She says, pushing around him. Her eyes follow the presence that Janis has. She slides through a few people, managing to make it just a few inches away from her. Right as she's near her, Janis turns around, her drink sloshing around a bit. "Oh my god I am so sorry-" She cuts herself off as her gaze moves from the stain on Regina's shirt to her face. "Regina." Her arms cross and her body tilts. "Janis." She nods, "I saw you and I wanted to talk to you." Her tone is very clearly uneasy, apologetic. "Go ahead." Janis licks her bottom lip before biting it lightly.

God. She looks good. Nope, she can't think that. "I'm sorry, for the whole lesbian accusation, and being a bitch to you." She's tense, she can't tell why she's apologizing, or what she's feeling. "So now you're apologizing?" Her mouth hangs open, complete disbelief. "I don't think I ever hated you. I think I had a thing for you." It spills out, she tries to pull it back in, eyes opening, mouth opening, her head moves around frantically. Janis's expression has changed, mouth still agape, eyebrows furrowed.

"For me?" She laughs lightly, Regina can't even respond. I mean she didn't lie, she only doubled down back in highschool to cover up her crush. "Jesus christ." Is all she can utter before walking away from her, pushing people away as she walks away. "Regina!" Gretchen calls out. "What happened." She matches Regina's pace "We're going back to the dorm." Her tone is flat, inside all she can feel is a fire, it's painful and it's killing her, the second the door opens and they make it away from the house she breathes deep, talking to Gretchen. "I admitted to Janis that I had a crush on her in highschool." Gretchen's face mirrors what Janis's looked like when she told her the same thing. "I'm never leaving our dorm." Is all she says before an uncomfortable silence falls over the two of them.

-----

She opens the dorm, jumping into her bed, sliding her shoes off. Hitting the wall with a bang, she passes out just minutes later.

-----

When she wakes up just a few minutes later, her phone lights up.

JanisIIIan_. sent a message request!

She picks her phone up and immediately reads the message

So you liked me in highschool?

Accept.

I did.

so outing me to everyone and being a unbelievable cunt to me was your way of flirting?

...

I guess.

and how'd you end up at an art school?

cosmetology program.

Janis i'm sorry, i know what i did was wrong.

you looked really good tonight.

Thank you. So did you.

I wanna see you again.

You do?

There's another party tonight. I need a buffer, just incase this is a sick joke.

it's not, I promise. I'll see you there.

Janis reacted ♥️

Regina put her phone down, she can't sleep this time, she's taking over her brain.

----

"Do I look good?" She turns around and looks at Gretchen, flattening her jeans down. "Yes!" She smiles proudly. Regina nods and sits down to put on her shoes "So.. who are you trying to impress?" Gretchen asks excitedly. Regina thinks for a second. "Oh, some dude from my Econn class invited me out. I wanna look cute." She swallows the truth like a sour pill, something feels wrong about hiding this. Gretchen was the only person who knew in highschool, and Karen. But she probably forgot it immediately.

----

She steps inside the party, ears practically falling off at the volume of everything. Her eyes look around the crowds, but it's hard to find your dark haired emo girl when every other person is a dark haired emo girl. "What type of fucking party is this." she utters under her breath, pushing through people until her eyes land on a pair of black and gray stripped socks. "Janis!" Regina utters to her as she practically pushes people down. She turns around, scanning her up and down. "You look really good." Is all that falls from her mouth, a comfortable silence sits for a second as they situate with eachothers company. "What kind of party is this?" Regina asks, Janis begins to move forward towards a ratted couch a little bit away from the bulk of the people. "It's my people." She utters. "You may be the only person wearing pink on here." She giggles lightly. She sounds so pretty, why is it so hard to talk to her. "Are you even a lesbian?" Regina questions, fidgeting with her charm bracelet. "I realized it was never confirmed." She stutters out, refusing to look in her eyes

Janis nods. "That's why I got so mad." She adjusts how she's sitting, her legs open wide. Is it wild to think about sitting on her lap? yes. But she can't shake the thought out of her head, or any thought of Janis. They're romantic, and she hadn't had these type of thoughts in months. Not since senior prom, when the last thing she saw before winning was Janis's face in the crowd. It was hard to look away, and at that point, she'd convinced herself well that she hated Janis. That she despised her, she knew the butterflies in her stomach meant something. But her brain didn't wanna say the truth.

"Now the bigger question is.. are you a lesbian? Or just searching for a fun little experiment." Her tone is a mix between teasing and accusation, feels like she's laughing along with her, and that she's pointing fingers. "I've never been with a girl. But I've never liked any of the men i've dated." She practically swallows all possible air in the room. "So I'd say yes." She says with a tone of uncertainty, she's never said that out loud, that she likes girls. Or hated all her other boyfriends. She looks around the room as if someone will get her, she'll lose her crown. She'll lose everything. But lo and behold. No one gives a shit, no one bats an eye. It's nice, but embarrassing for her, that the secret she's held for so long seems to hold no weight.

"I wanna kiss you." She blurts out, she's never been this awkward with someone, its practically unseen for her, and she can't fathom why it's so hard to speak, or breathe, or- Her thoughts are cut short but Janis's lips crashing into Regina's, the kiss is needy, like it'll turn Regina back into a princess, her hands find Janis's cheek. Janis pulls away for a second, Regina looks at her through her lashes. "I liked that." Jesus fuck she's awkward right now. She's internally cringing everytime she opens her mouth, it's unreal how bad this is, her words just fall flat. A soft laugh erupts from Janis.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time." Janis admits, Regina's hand moves towards Janis's lips, clearing off the sparkles that she'd transferred "Made you shine." She utters while doing it. "You're being so awkward." She giggles at her. "It's really cute."

--

hayyyy should i do a part 2 to this or should i nawt 😊🎉

[theship-thewalrus]

why had it have to be you?

daryl dixon x reader

what if you died instead of Glenn?

word count: 1358 words reading time: about 6 minutes warnings: angst, death, blood, gore, real sad yall

The road was hard against your knees, and the night air licked at your exposed skin. With ripped clothes and what felt like hundreds of eyes on you, you were more exposed than ever before. The throbbing pain from your face was not at the forefront of your mind. Instead, it was on the caravan in front of you. Eyes scan the group gaging their reactions, fear, anxiety, stone-faced. They were mixed. You could only guess the fear that was clear on your own face. Fear of the unknown, of what might happen, of what you feel will happen.

Your eyes lock with Daryl's, the man on his knees beside you. He looked sickly, pale from the blood loss. The gunshot going off was still fresh in your mind. How he folded and his blood splashed on the tree beside him. You were fearful then like you were now. Fearing for his life. But he held strong on like he was now. Stone facing. Not showing his emotions for the betterment of others or to keep face, to keep the people around them thinking he was strong. But even with his best effort, he was weak, hanging on by a mere thread.

The creak of a door brought your attention back to the caravan. A shabby-looking man, dressed in leather pranced out of the caravan. A stupid grin on his face and without a care in the world. Why would he care? He had everything how he wanted it. All lined up in perfect order, just for him. "Pissin' our pants yet?" Even how he spoke held cockiness. Like he was untouchable. His steps were heard throughout the group as no one dared to speak up. Too afraid of the consequences at this time. They were outnumbered, and at the mercy of these people. There was nothing they could do.

"Boy, do I have a feeling we are getting close," His eyes scan the group as he made his way to the end, towards Gabriel. You watched and listen as he spoke to the group, looking everyone in the eyes with little remorse for what he might do. He portrayed your group as the villains in this story. If you had never bothered him, he may have never bothered you. But you all knew it was bullshit. That with enough time he'd come knocking at your door looking for supplies. A payment to not come in a kill what little remained of Alexandria. That in some shape or form this was kindness. Only dealing with a small amount was kindness.

With wide eyes, you watched the barbed wire bat move closer to Rick's face. These words not registering to you, only the stubble threat. If he so please he could hit Rick with the bat. He spoke as he walked, waving the bat around like it was nothing, looking at each person with a sickly smile. How that smile burned into your brain, creeping its way into all the little corners of your mind. It was sinister. It was deranged. It was delusional. He spoke as though this was already decided, that they worked for him, that they would not fight back.

The headlights of the car were blinding, illuminating this death circle. You watched him walk closer to you, his boots crunching on the earth you kneeled on. Looking through the strands of hair you watched him eyeball everyone. Weighing them all up in his mind. He was putting a value on everyone and you only prayed you did not fall short. The question he asked lingered in the air for a moment, Rick was broke down to speak up. They had all gotten too comfortable, too soft and their softness had been exploited. This was your consequence.

"For now, I'm going to beat the holy hell out of one of you," His words stung in your brain. One of your friends, your family was not coming back with you. Was not seeing the sunrise one last time. This would be the last thing they experienced. The fear of waiting. The fear of the unknown. The fear of death. After surviving all you had endured one of you was going to finish your journey here. Not dying at the hands of the dead but instead the living.

His teasing words were met with silence as he went around testing everyone. Wanting a reaction from someone, for someone to slip up. Glenn could not keep still as he threatened Maggie. Lurching forward in her defence even if it cost him his own life. For he loved her. But he was only met with grabbing at him and blows given to him. "Nope, get him back in line." Negan couldn't care less about what happened, he seemed rather annoyed with it all, as though this was a chore. Glenn continued pleading as he was dragged back into line. Though no one seemed to care. Hope was lost. You all held no power. Rules were set after Glenn's outburst. Rules should not be crossed. Rules for this execution you had found yourself in the middle of. And yet, Negan teased, he pushed for a breaking point.

It was all like a game to him, going around pointing the bat, randomly deciding. He found this fun, your lives were nothing to him. You weren't the real threat and yet were treated as such. It sickened you to your core. The whistling. How it curled around your head before bouncing around in your brain. He was so relaxed at the chance of taking a life. You felt fear strike through your body as his bat fell on you for a moment, yet your eyes met his. The bat moved to Daryl next, making you tense. Watching from the corner of your eye. Yet, he moved on again. Dragging on this choice of life or death. It made your stomach turn and your eyes water. It made everything that came before this feel like it was for nothing.

The first smack on the back of Abraham's head was sickening. It rang out, the sound of wood meeting his head. A gasp mixed with a cry ripped from your throat. Yet, Abraham did not fall meaning he had another smack and then another and another. Fat tears rolled down your cheeks as you could not tear your eyes away. How his blood stained the floor and the bat. How it deepened his red hair. How it ruined his clothes. You wanted to move, to save him, to do something. But you could only weep. Only when his head was a mess on the ground could you look away.

Negan then mocked the death of Abraham. Like it was all a big joke,s something for him to look back on and laugh at. A strangled cry let you as your eyes drifted back to the scene. It was so alarming that you could not look away. That your had to keep glancing at it to wrap your head about that mush and body there was Abraham. Again and again and again Negan beat on the already dead man. There was no respect for the dead. Little care for what he had done. Even then he threw the blood in Rick's face, the blood of his friend, his brother, and his family.

You listen as he mocked Rosita. Claiming this was all a consequence, there was a reason. He wanted her to look at the bloody bat, to see how the blood coated the bat and his flesh still clung to the wire. Daryl's patients wore thin from the constant insults to people he saw as family. Death weighed heavily on his mind. For a moment you look at him and all you can see is a built-up rage, a need to act. With your eyes, you plead him not to act. You could not lose him too. But rage was stronger than love. Daryl jumped up from his place and attacked Negan. Only landing a single punch before being grabbed by his man. Even after he was shot and lost so much blood he had fight in him.

It seemed for a moment the uncaring image of Negan broke as he let out an angry no. Two men pinned Daryl down and you were powerless to do anything, to stop them, to cry out. But as the image slipped it returned, speaking of rule-breaking and the consequences this brings on the group. Daryl's outburst would result in another death. The man with the scarred face, Dwilight, offered to kill him with his own crossbow. Only then did your voice seems to find you, pulling out a weak no. A plead to stop. To show an ounce of mercy to you all. Negan's smile stretched out as he looked at you, eyes connecting with your own as you watched a plan form in his mind. Harshly he had grabbed Daryl's head, pulling it back as he spoke about not killing him. He liked Daryl's fire. But he knew killing someone else he loved would be worse than killing him.

You watched him get closer to you, his boots inching closer to your knees. You were fearful for you knew what was coming next. Daryl's eyes were already on you, you could feel them. Negans words did not register to you, it didn't matter what he said the outcome would be the same. Death. The first strike was sickening, right on the top of your head. You could feel it dent slightly, your bones snapping under the pressure. Blood was pursed from your nose and mouth from the hit. You could hear the cries. Cries that would haunt you for your last few moments. They would circle around in your head like a bad song. Cries ripped through you as he hit you again, pushing your face further into the dirt below. Daryl's cries were loud, you were sure some of your blood had stained his skin. You were so close to them that if he just reached out he could stop this. But he could not find the strength.

Blood bubbled up your throat before passing your lips and dribbling down your chest. Blood surrounded you. The colour red stained you. With what strength you had you leaned up once more. The assault had stopped for a moment. You felt numb but full of pain at the same time. Your face beaten in by the bat, breathing was hard, and strangled breaths were not providing you with enough air. Your brain was dying and there was nothing you could do. Moans of pain left you as you looked around at your family. Wanting them to be the last faces you see before the blows continued. They all held sadness at your state. Tears were in their eyes and streaming down their faces as they looked at you in horror.

Negan's mocking words did not register with you. Not being able to hear anything above your slowly beating heart and your own choked breaths. You're body convulsed with tremors, your body shutting off. Your last words were strange and stretched out, a mangled mess of groans and moans of pain. "Dar-yl... I-I'll... fin-find... yo-you." It was a mess of soft words but ones the man could make out.

The next hit of the bat came from the side, knocking you into the dirt below. Your blood spilled out from your mouth on the dirt. You no longer felt it, the pain, the fear, the despair. Hit. Hit. Hit. Until you were nothing more than mush in the dirt. Your body twitches with the last of your life before falling still. You were nothing but a stain now, a memory to your friends. Your presence would no longer bring light. Your words no longer comforting. You were gone, ripped from them, from Daryl.

His heart was no longer the same after that. You were ripped from him like everything good in life. Taken forcibly before your time. Killed in front of him, because of him. He had killed you. He had done it. He swore to protect you. To look after you. But he couldn't do it. He was too weak. He failed you, the love of his life. And for that he will never forgive himself

[maddiehu7]

Honorable | Elijah Mikaelson

Chapter 1

I hear my alarm ringing turning over groaning

"Ugh" I huff out smacking my alarm shutting it up, after a minute of procrastinating I finally get up brushing my teeth and getting ready for the day

"Outfit time" I sigh out looking at my closet flipping through some options I decide on a black cropped tank top some black skinny jeans and a dark green flannel open overtop

I go over to the door sliding my black combat boots on and I'm ready to go i grab some of my files and head out the door getting into my Chevy impala I was never a big car fan but when I saw this baby I had to have it, I'm heading to a bar/restaurant called mystic grill see if any locals seen anything out of the ordinary.

I walk in looking around at the place

"Hm nice" I say to myself heading to the bar i order a sprite and sit down, when I get my drink I sip it looking around at some of the people in here normal nice looking folk maybe there's no vamps here after all

"Hey your a new face" I hear someone say sitting down next to me I look over to see a pale black haired blue eyed tall man looking at me I'm on guard immediately getting a bad vibe

"Um yeah just passing through" I say smiling fakely hoping he leaves but he just smirks looking at me weirdly, I decide to pull my famous trick

"Hey want a drink" I say smiling at him

"How could I say no to that face" he says smiling back leaning on the counter

"Let me guess, bourbon?" I question

"How'd you know" he says looking a little confused

"You just have that vibe I guess" I say laughing

"Hey one bourbon please" I tell the bartender he nods making it fast handing it to to the man well he's not looking a pull out a little bottle of vervain slipping it in my sleeve

"I never got your name" I say licking my lips pretending to flirt

"Damon-damon Salvatore" he says reaching his hand out discarding his drink

"I'm more of a hugger" I say leaning over wrapping my arm around him as my other pours the vervain in his drink he hugs me back hands a little low for my liking, I back away

"Well cheers to new friends Damon" I say raising my drink he smirks raising his I drink mine slowly looking in his eyes he try's to do the same but when he drinks it he spits it out yelping in pain, Well there's definitely a case I think to myself

"Hey you ok?!" I feign innocence but he looks up at me in realization

"Who are you" he demands

"Me? Nobody" I say smiling he grabs my arm

"Come with me and I won't kill you right here" he says smiling back trying to not make a scene

"I'm calling your bluff" I say as I wretch my hand away from his hold getting up walking out of the bar I knew he'd follow so I pull my wooden dagger out hiding it in the waist of my jeans when I'm almost to my car I feel a strong wind behind me and suddenly I'm forced against my car Damon holding me by the shoulders

"I'll ask again nicely, who are you" he demands

"Vampire hunter but I guess you could've assumed that" i say smirking up at him he just scoffs going to say something when we hear a voice coming near us

"Damon?" A girl questions coming closer at this Damon let's go of me backing up

"Elena what are you doing here?" He questions annoyed he was interrupted

"Just getting some food what are you doing" she says looking at me confused

"Vampire hunter meet Elena" he says sarcastically

"What-what" Elena says confused and a little scared I could tell she was human

"Yep our very own Buffy the vampire slayer in town" he says with fake enthusiasm Elena looks deep in thought for a second

"Damon could I talk to you for a second" Elena says pulling him aside they talk and bicker for a moment before coming back to me

"Um so what's your name?" Elena asks politely I look at her in question but go along with it

"Scarlett" I say shortly she nods playing with her hands

"Scarlett, so your in town cause of vampires right?" She says I nod back at her looking at Damon which makes him put his hands up theatrically

"Ok well maybe you can help us then" I look over at her at that and laugh

"Me...help you....and your vampire" I say through laughs she just looks at me confused

"Told you it wouldn't work" Damon looks at Elena victoriously she rolls her eyes stepping closer to me I back away on guard even if she's human

"We're not gonna hurt you I promise" she says holding her hands up I look at Damon which makes him nod reluctantly in agreement

"What would you even need my help with?" I say curiously Elena smiles

"Have you ever heard of an original vampire?" She questions

"Yeah but those don't actually exist" I say factually which makes her look at me seriously I squint at her....no way

"Tell me everything" I say more intrigued than ever

( to be continued ) Elijah will come in soon I promise lol

[havendoesthings]

He's no longer an Autobot [Short]

Context: Action takes place in my Transformers Animated AU, where Bumblebee lived on Cybertron long before Ratchet was even born. In this one-shot he's a part of the then Cybertronian Bot Academy where with his own eyes he can see that some of the bots start to pick sides [Said sides being Autobots and Decepticons] where one of this bots is someone close to him, his friend – Shockwave. WARNING! The writing below is unfinished and not actual! Something similar will happen' in the fic I have in plans to write for this AU, just not how it's written as below. Hope you'll still like what I wrote tho! If you have any questions about the AU feel more than welcome to ask about it! >ww<

,,There, in front of him, not so far away was Shockwave. 

But rather than the usual blue optics, his eyes were now red. And that meant one thing,

Shockwave joined the Decepticons.

He couldn't lie, his vents upon finally capturing the full picture of his — To this moment… To this moment? — best friend caught him off guard. 

Joining Decepticons ranks wasn't something that was unusual. At the same time though, it also wasn't anything usual. It was… Just there. Somewhere, looking at him and other bots from a far distance, reminding them from time to time of the political fractions their people started to form. 

As it turns out, they're not as far away from them as he thought. 

"You're," He started slowly, the feeling of his glossa being unmoisturized making him uncomfortable. Together with his throat, it was slowly becoming dry. "You've… You've joined Decepticons," He wanted to continue but didn't know what to say. 

And there was silence. Completely nothing could be heard, and nothing indeed intruded on it. 

It was just like no one besides them was on this one certain corridor. 

And to be honest, if someone would say that to Bumblebee earlier, — After all, their Cybertronians boot camp was not called one of the noisiest places without a reason — he wouldn't believe them. 

But now, right before his eyes, his small world collided with reality. It almost felt like his world and everything he knew about Shockwave suddenly made a lot more sense. Every time he couldn't agree with some of the methods their higher-ups used, some evident repulsion aimed at some of the Primes’ words. It all… It all suddenly started to fall into one, big piece. 

But there wasn't 'almost' there just for show. 

So Bumblebee held onto that 'almost' in hope. For what? Only time will tell. 

He gulped, trying to make his shoulder pads be seen as more relaxed, but did it work? After the unchanged expression Shockwave was sending his way, he guessed that it did little to humor and help his case. Still, it was worth a try. 

"I indeed did." 

"Ah," He could feel his spark beating its usual rhythm. 

He licked his dermas, feeling a little lost over what he was supposed to say next. They didn't exactly give out instructions about what you should do when your friend suddenly got involved in the world of some adult bots, did they now? — It was a joke, okay? He has to cope and face, in these few seconds, that he has to answer with something- — Either way, 

"Are you… Sure about that…?" 

"Definitely." Yikes, he didn't even hesitate. Was something that crossed his mind. But as quick as the thought was present, as soon it was gone. 

"Mhm." He made a face. He couldn't prevent himself from doing so and probably with that he made his friend's trust drift more and more away from him, but what exactly was he supposed to say? "It's cool, it's cool." Which honestly? Was a brilliant answer, shut up. 

It was the only thing his panicked brain could think of and Shockwave didn't bother to react in any way to it. Which was nice because it was still better than him simply walking away from him."

[ryuichirou]

Replies

Some replies! A lot of AzuIde and AzuJami today huh

Anonymous asked:

How does Idia even flirt? (If he has the capacity, that is…)

He doesn’t … but sometimes he provokes and teases, this is probably the closest thing lol But then again, a lot of times it ends up in either the provoked person getting irritated or in the provoked person getting PROVOKED and Idia getting freaked out because he didn’t expect the reaction to be this intense.

Anonymous asked:

Who do you think Idia would be the happiest with? Just curious…

Ortho! Ortho understands him, Ortho knows everything about him, Ortho is familiar, Ortho is comfortable, he is pretty much Idia’s soulmate. He is also an enabler, but he still pushes Idia out of his comfort zone.

The second one would probably be Azul; realistically, they would have a lot of issues because both of them are stubborn and have a lot of baggage, but I don’t think it’s completely impossible for them to actually be happy together.

And the rest of the boys in Idia’s harem aren’t even interested in all this stuff, they just want to have fun lol

Anonymous asked:

Would Azul ever cheat on Idia? If he did, how would Idia react?

Their relationship status is kind of weird, like they’re together but not quite, because accepting the fact that they are attracted to each other and want to be together is more difficult than having a marriage of convenience. So even if Azul does cheat, it would be due to this misunderstanding and things being complicated between them in general + him being honestly very horny for Jamil lol And if that happens, Idia would be salty and upset, because even if they weren’t technically “together”, it would still feel like a betrayal.

THAT BEING SAID. Azul values his connection to Idia way too much, so I don’t think he would do anything further than flirting. No NTR for these two I guess lol

Anonymous asked:

What is it about Azul that Jamil doesn’t like? They’re both shady af…

BUT HE IS SO ANNOYING!! And the fact that he is shady is just another thing to not like about him I think lol Jamil really doesn’t trust Azul: he knows that he uses people, and while he might be a useful ally, he is way too dangerous and backstabbing to trust him in any way.

He is also clingy, pretentious, flamboyant/dramatic, overbearing, and slimy.

He is also obnoxiously stubborn and a control freak; remember that vignette in which Jamil was asked to help Azul during the flying lessons? When Azul didn’t want him to help and was super against it and insisted on doing everything himself because he didn’t want to be indebted to Jamil and thought that Jamil had an ulterior motive.

So yeah. Azul is an annoying twitchy clingy obsessive pompous freak… I guess he is just way too high-maintenance for Jamil lol Specifically because they’re so similar, Jamil knows how dangerous and cunning Azul is. You just can’t trust this guy at all, so why would he? Azul would just use him for his purposes to get what he wants and then discard Jamil when he’s not needed anymore or something like that.

Anonymous asked:

Imagine Jamil having to deal with Kalim AND Azul AND Nagito

God… this poor poor guy…

I laughed at “AND Nagito” like tf you doing there fucker.

Making Jamil’s life more miserable of course!

Anonymous asked:

Miu: Hey, I-dick-a, I know you’re a pathetic otaku virgin so I invented something for you to practice with just in case you get lucky! Or…if ya never get laid at least you’ll have my invention! Ain’t I the sweetest? You should bow down and lick my boots!

I-dick-a Idia: *Passes away*

This is horrible (and canon) on so many levels, and wait until Ortho reveals that Idia already has a machine he’s built for that exact reason…

[mariana-oconnor]

The Devil's Foot pt 2

I have been contemplating this one a bit. And so far the only person who has given us any information about this is Mortimer. We only have his word what happened that night. We only have his word that he and his siblings had resolved their financial differences. He was still living in lodgings when they had the family property, it seems.

And it seems like it was all his friend's idea to get Holmes involved.

So maybe I should be more suspicious of him.

But he did agree to come to Holmes, although it would be really difficult to say no at that point.

So absorbed was he in his thoughts, I remember, that he stumbled over the watering-pot, upset its contents, and deluged both our feet and the garden path.

Was this deliberate, or is it just flavour text? I'm not sure what he could get from spilling the watering can. Unless he thinks the water is poisoned and he wants to see what effect the spilled water has on the plants around it. Like, if they die, definitely poison.

Good thing the guy from the last story isn't around to start kissing floors and licking boots again.

Her employers had all been in excellent spirits lately, and she had never known them more cheerful and prosperous.

This absolutely sounds like them being lulled into a false sense of security. Or a reason for jealousy.

She had, when she recovered, thrown open the window to let the morning air in.

So if the poison was airborne, she would have dissipated it, then.

(It's in the candles)

Fish candles, the Discworld fan in me wants to say.

“I think, Watson, that I shall resume that course of tobacco-poisoning which you have so often and so justly condemned,” said he.

The repeated and consistent acknowledgement in these stories that smoking is bad for you kind of blows my mind every time. Even though I know.

“Let us get a firm grip of the very little which we do know, so that when fresh facts arise we may be ready to fit them into their places. I take it, in the first place, that neither of us is prepared to admit diabolical intrusions into the affairs of men."

What, no devils or demons? And I was getting my hopes up.

"That is firm ground. Now, when did this occur? Evidently, assuming his narrative to be true, it was immediately after Mr. Mortimer Tregennis had left the room."

This does rather contradict my idea of a slow-acting aerosolised poison released by the burning of the candles, certainly. Because Mortimer was in there for at least some of the evening, so you'd expect him to have had some kind of a dose, or he would have had to swap out the candles before he left and then the new poison candles would have to act very quickly.

It's more likely to not be in the candles, then. I guess.

Something only the other three imbibed or ate or touched. But even then how does it work so quickly. Maybe he pours them something to drink as a toast before he goes and laces it with something (or someone else comes and does that).

"Knowing my methods as you do, you were, of course, conscious of the somewhat clumsy water-pot expedient by which I obtained a clearer impress of his foot than might otherwise have been possible."

Ah, okay. That makes sense. No poison water.

"It is difficult to imagine, then, how an outsider could have made so terrible an impression upon the company, nor have we found any possible motive for so strange and elaborate an attempt."

Glass notoriously reflects things. How sure are you that the thing he was seeing was outside?

Perhaps the face is coming from inside the house. Or perhaps there was no face and his brother just thought of something unpleasant and then tried to cover it up.

Or perhaps this is all a mere fabrication of Mortimer's to throw people off the scent.

"Neither of us needed to be told who that visitor was. The huge body, the craggy and deeply seamed face with the fierce eyes and hawk-like nose, the grizzled hair which nearly brushed our cottage ceiling, the beard—golden at the fringes and white near the lips, save for the nicotine stain from his perpetual cigar—all these were as well known in London as in Africa, and could only be associated with the tremendous personality of Dr. Leon Sterndale, the great lion-hunter and explorer."

Whomst?

"My only claim to being taken into your confidence is that during my many residences here I have come to know this family of Tregennis very well—indeed, upon my Cornish mother's side I could call them cousins—and their strange fate has naturally been a great shock to me."

A suspect? A new suspect?

So Holmes naturally interrogates him to find out if he was in the area at the time and how he knows about any of this.

The vicar really likes to talk, it seems. Although I suppose passing on news of the death of a relative and the sudden illness? of two others might be considered reasonable.

“He is deeply interested.”

Who inherits the property now? Lion man or Mortimer?

Follow the money. If in doubt always follow the money.

"Cheer up, Watson, for I am very sure that our material has not yet all come to hand. When it does we may soon leave our difficulties behind us.” Little did I think how soon the words of Holmes would be realized, or how strange and sinister would be that new development which opened up an entirely fresh line of investigation.

So someone else is dead then. But who? Mortimer? Lion man? The Babbling Vicar? The housekeeper?

Not the vicar, clearly as he is doing his narrative duty of gossip by bringing the news.

“Mr. Mortimer Tregennis died during the night, and with exactly the same symptoms as the rest of his family.”

Alas, poor Mortimer, I'm sorry I suspected you.

My guess is that Lion man left poison candles/cards/brandy around when he visited them so he could be far away when they died and have an alibi, but he wasn't expecting to have to get Mortmer separately. (Maybe Mortimer wasn't drinking? Or maybe he just left before the effects could set in).

This might partly be due to the fact that a lamp stood flaring and smoking on the centre table.

Look, Watson keeps drawing attention to the light sources in these places. I'm not going crazy. It's in the candles and the oil lamp.

In the bedroom he made a rapid cast around and ended by throwing open the window...

And people keep opening windows. Airborne poison.

Then he rushed down the stair, out through the open window, threw himself upon his face on the lawn...

Every detective needs their allotted floor time. It is imperative.

He had bought a lamp which was the duplicate of the one which had burned in the room of Mortimer Tregennis on the morning of the tragedy.

I leave this here without further comment.

"In each case there is evidence of a poisonous atmosphere. In each case, also, there is combustion going on in the room—in the one case a fire, in the other a lamp."

I'll be over here thanking Sir Terry Pratchett for (I assume) using this as his inspiration. GNU.

"The result seems to indicate that it was so, since in the first case only the woman, who had presumably the more sensitive organism, was killed, the others exhibiting that temporary or permanent lunacy which is evidently the first effect of the drug."

✨Sensitive organism✨

...

If by that you mean she probably had a lower body mass, as women do tend to on average, and therefore the threshold for a lethal dosage was also lower? Then sure, I guess.

Sensitive organism.

Sensitive organism

Oh, I can't do my work today, I'm a sensitive organism.

And fine, it was the fire, not the candles. I was a little off on the method.

"Now, Watson, we will light our lamp; we will, however, take the precaution to open our window to avoid the premature decease of two deserving members of society, and you will seat yourself near that open window in an armchair unless, like a sensible man, you determine to have nothing to do with the affair."

Glad to have absolute acknowledgment here that Watson is Not a sensible man. We already knew this. But it's nice to have it canonised.

This can only go well. I foresee no bad effects.

Isn't Holmes out there for his health?

It was that vision which gave me an instant of sanity and of strength.

Pulled back from the edge of death by the fact that Holmes is also dying.

"Upon my word, Watson!" said Holmes at last with an unsteady voice, "I owe you both my thanks and an apology. It was an unjustifiable experiment even for one's self, and doubly so for a friend. I am really very sorry."

Got to be bad if even Holmes is admitting it was a dumb idea and apologising for it.

But yeah, be sorry. Although I've got to say, guy fully consented to this circus.

"You know," I answered with some emotion, for I have never seen so much of Holmes's heart before, "that it is my greatest joy and privilege to help you."

Such drama. Such emotion.

I mean... it's undercut a little by the fact that they only needed the drama and the emotion because they were absolute idiots.

You acknowledged yourself that it must be fast-acting Holmes, both because the first people were still sitting exactly where Mortimer left them and yet he was fine and had noticed nothing wrong, and also because of how little oil had been used in the lamp at the second crime scene.

And you didn't even just use a bit of the scrapings, you used them all... Sure you left the door and window open, but... my guy. My guy. If you had died today it would not have been undeserved. For a smart person, you can be unbearably foolish

But still, very moving. I understand why people were really excited about this one. Much shipping.

[punkranger]

High Waters

Part 2 of this

Antoine is working on a task Hollow Ground set him on, something more personal than he had bargained for, as well as more difficult.

What to expect: Retribution spoilers and Revelations hypotheses, kidnapping and intimidation, violence in the form of police brutality

You remember that face. It stared back at you in the opaque glass windows of the lab as they put needles in your arms and talked over your head about numbers and values and other things you didn't understand. Head shaved for easy maintenance and skin paper-thin and pale – locked up inside all day for testing and training, too new to go out on missions. Even the bruises are the same, in your memory at least. You were always one step away from not making it during training. Still, no leeway was given to you despite the fact you lacked the boosts in strength and endurance that the others had. You just had to learn to keep up anyway, or you wouldn't be here now.

Shaking your head you look away from the picture, checking the name one more time to be sure. The last name is erased, but the first name is the one you were given, and there's no doubt about it that this is the person you are looking for. 

Dead, long ago. Same as you.

You flip the folder open, read the list of charges: vandalism, theft, assault… All too familiar to you, but there's something distancing about these formal terms that also make them seem more serious. You look back at their age – you were only a year older when you killed a person for the first time, and two years after that you were free, seeing Los Diablos for the first time. 

Shaking your head, you close the folder. It doesn't matter now, what matters is that you finish this so you can go back to important matters, present matters, and most importantly your matters. 

You look at the man tied up in a chair beside the table the folder is on and take a step towards him. He flinches as your armored boot falls on the concrete and looks up at you while tremors travel over his whole body like he's been electrified. 

"Where is the rest?" You wave the folder in his face, it's lacking any details of what happened after the arrest.

"I-I-I don't- I d-don't know! I just archive them! N-no one else is supposed to be able to remove anything without my knowledge, b-but there's no rec-cord of anyone taking it. There's not even any record of it even existing in-n the first place!" He sounds nearly hysterical and you feel a bit bad, but you're in a hurry and you don't have time for coddling civilians. 

"But there was something?"

He nods. 

"And his body disappeared?"

"How-?"

"Just a guess. Now, what about his family?"

"I don't know!" He moans, miserable, probably thinks you're going to kill him. Idiot. "I-I mean this was two decades ago, I don't remember, I assume they were contacted at some point after his arrest, but as you can see his name is gone now so I guess whoever was in charge of the case gave them some excuse and swept it all under the rug."

"Who was this, there should be record of that right?" You realize you've stepped closer, practically leaning over him, because he recoils as much as he can in his bonds. Leaning back, you blame the helmet and vocal distorters on his reaction. It's not like you care about this, it's just a stupid job Hollow Ground is making you do. 

He watches you warily for a moment, then licks his lips and says hesitantly, "I could look it up if you want…"

Unspoken is the request to release him. You nod, cutting the ropes. It's not like he could get away from you, you just didn't want to accidentally break his arm or something if he tried to run. You doubt he understands the distinction to appreciate it. 

He stands up hesitantly and you step back, letting him go over to the computer. You've already checked for any ways he could alert security, finding none. Supposedly people don't break into the archives often enough to warrant the LDPD assigning even a small part of their admittedly tiny budget for more security than the cameras you've already broken. 

Still, you keep an eye on what he's doing over his shoulder in case he sends an email for help or something. You snort at the thought and he jumps and turns around as your vocal distorters turn it into a growl.

"I'm working as fast as I can, I promise!" 

"Yes, yes, carry on. No funny business, though." You wave your hand at him to continue and he reluctantly turns his back to you again.

After a while the flickering of the screen slows down as he scrolls slower, before opening a tab.

"Here…" he trails off, then clicks a link. "Albert Ronalds, sergeant. Although…"

"What?" 

"He won't be much use to you, he's dead."

"Of course he is", you sigh and would have run a hand over your face if you hadn't been wearing a helmet. "How?"

"Died on duty, same year." He seems to have calmed down, his voice now more thoughtful than anxious, perhaps doing something familiar made him forget why he's doing it. 

"Still, it's weird", he continues, "apparently it was a traffic accident. No one else was hurt and his was the only vehicle involved."

Fuck. Fucking Hollow Ground. Why is he sending you on this wild goose chase decades after the person you're looking for died, and after he had already destroyed what little evidence you might have found? 

"Was it looked into?" You ask, but you already know the answer.

"No, or if it was it didn't go anywhere." Yeah, you know how it is. 

Well, there are other people who look into these things and now you have two names and dates to take to them. You leave the archivist with some incentive to not report this incident and head back to your improvised entrance in the floor. The sewers lose you quickly in their labyrinthine embrace. 

A few days later you've spent some time getting the word out to your contact that you're looking for information. Some got a bit cagey when they found out the LDPD were involved, but considering the incident happened a decade ago they were easily convinced it would have no repercussions. At least not from the police. 

You think about Hollow Ground. Vengefulness is of course befitting a crime lord, and you suppose at the time there were no loose ends other than the sergeant. Then you came along and suddenly there was something left to that business, to his sibling. 

You haven't dared look into his mind any more since that time, he's been more guarded, but you wonder how he sees you. An asset, in some way at least, but does he disregard the fact that you look like him or is he planning on using that somehow? The last meeting was weird, he wanted something from you, but what? Proof that you were there to infiltrate his organization as his dead brother? Sounds unlikely, or he would have already known what you looked like. Anyway, you've definitely proven you're not that person, or trying to be. You're not a person after all. Does he know about that? 

Scoffing, you get up to pace. All this sitting around and waiting is not doing you any good. You're in desperate need of some action. 

You wish you could talk to Ortega or Daniel. 

Shit. 

There's another thought you don't need. They're not on your side anymore, or rather the thin facade of your relationship has crashed and burned. Daniel may have helped you escape but he'd never help you with work related to Hollow Ground. And Ortega… 

You look around, suddenly paranoid. If he'd show up anytime it would be now, and he would not be happy with you to say the least. You wouldn't have minded seeing his stupid face, though. Maybe. 

Perhaps it's better this way, to not see the anger, the disappointment. It was bad enough in the car and when you were stuck in bed. You doubt things have changed. 

You rub a hand over your face, remembering other times when you've done that. Kinder, softer hands taking yours, brushing a thumb over your cheek. Warmth like the sun making you want to lean in. Kisses that leave you breathless, but floating light as air. 

Why are you never allowed to keep anything? Why are you always left alone and empty? 

Your jaw is clenched tight and you feel like you can't breathe for a moment. Digging your nails in your palms you try to focus on breathing. In. Pause. Out. 

Repeat.

Your jaw relents with a crack. Brush away the sting in your eyes. 

Someone's coming. Finally.

Doing this as yourself is a little awkward, but you make it work, making people see someone else is easy enough by now. You wouldn't want anyone to remember any resemblance to the person in the files. Going as Eden would have been safer, but that is no longer an option. You don't really want to involve your crew in this either, the less they have to do with Hollow Ground the better, so this really is the only option.

Not that you mind. Hollow Ground was right about one thing: you are interested in this information. You're not sure what, if anything, you could gain from it, but you do know you don't want to miss out on any of it. Because in some way you feel connected to this person – it could have been you, and you're not sure if you feel sorry or jealous. He may have died young, but at least he got to live as a real person, with a family who at least cared enough to try to look for him. 

You shake your head, focusing instead on your contact. They should have something, or else they wouldn't have called for this meeting.

Indeed, they produce a small parcel.

"Got a video you might find useful," they say without preamble, "unfortunately we weren't able to save everything, but some parts are clear enough. This is gonna cost you, though, considering who's involved…"

It must be the Special Directive then. You consider for a moment if you want to mention Hollow Ground to put the bill on him, which would only be fair considering he put you up to this. On the other hand you're not sure you want to tie yourself that closely to him by having your association known. 

"Fine, but this had better be useful then." Perhaps you can find someone more proficient who can glean more from it later, but you'd rather get your money's worth now. After all there's so many other things you'd rather spend it on, so many other things you'd rather do, every moment, every resource not spent towards the life you want, the life you deserve, feels like death. Why should you give anything in exchange? Haven't you given enough away? You could just take it. Take what is owed you. Take like they took from you. 

You reign yourself in, barely. Can't afford to lose this contact, there aren’t that many you can go to that are both competent and not working for someone you've made your enemy. Concealing a shudder, you take the parcel and hand over the money. It still feels like pulling teeth. Sometimes you wonder if you should talk to someone, these thoughts are starting  to become more of an impediment to attaining your goals.

Later, at your base you've set yourself up at your computer, a cigarette trailing a lazy pattern of smoke towards the ceiling. You look at your hands, eerily gray from the blue light of the screen and wonder why you're hesitating now. 

This shouldn't matter to you. It's just a random person. So what if you might share DNA? You know plenty of people who have nothing to do with their family. And it's not like it would make you any more real, knowing about your unwilling donor.  You don't bother hiding the grimace from the empty screen in front of you. Yeah, that thought doesn't make you feel better, you have to fight to not rub at your arms in disgust. How many more were sacrificed to create you? 

A lot. 

Many of whom you killed yourself. It was that, or be recycled. They would have done the same, if they had been good enough. You're not going to feel sorry for winning. For surviving. 

You turn on the video. 

It takes you a second to recognise what’s happening, the footage is grainy and keeps glitching, and there’s just a mass of black-clad bodies on the screen. LDPD officers. They’ve gathered around something, someone, kicking, screaming – mostly insults from what you can hear. You’ve been there. Are there. On the floor, above the one on the floor… You shake your head and keep watching. After a while the mass disperses, like piranha after a meal. Leaving a mess behind, a single officer dragging the body away. Swallowing bile, you rewind, pause, zoom in on faces. The only important ones are the last officer and the person on the floor. The latter you recognise, even below the blood and bruises. It’s definitely the one you’re looking for. But the officer’s face is obscured. 

Swearing in frustration, you look for the parcel and shake out the notes you saw in it when you took out the tape.

“Except for the video, I have also found an audio recording related to the same incident, just outside the facilities. I can't include the recording itself, but here is a transcript. 

[Heavy breathing, dragging noises – a/n based on the context it must be recorded through the microphone of the officer who dragged the body away]

[Door opening, more dragging, then door slamming shut]

[Sounds of a motor running, a car door shutting]

Unknown: Quickly now. 

Officer: Yes, sir. 

U: Put him in the back. Then go back inside, we have arranged another transport for you later today. Go to [audio cuts off here]”

You stare at the paper for a moment. Then you slam a fist into the table with a curse. This is useless! If you could have listened to the recording you might have recognised at least one of their voices, but now… all you know is that someone took the body, but you have no proof of who or where, even if your suspicions are stronger than ever.

Sighing, you put your head in your hands, resisting the temptation to pull at your hair. There's no way Hollow Ground will accept this little information, because even if you can connect the threads that lead to the Special Directive there’s no actual proof here. You rub your temples, there has to be something more you can scavenge from this old carcass of a case.

The sergeant in charge led nowhere, it’s likely he’d had a meeting in person with someone from the Farm who then made sure to erase this single trail. 

The person you’re looking into is also dead, the video is more than you expected to get, but still not enough. 

Even after watching the video ten times or more you can find no more clues about the fake officer who took his body, or the person who picked it up. They were too careful, had planned too well.

There is something, though. You sit up, the sense of despair suddenly dispersing. If they planned this, that means they might have had their eyes on this person for a while, maybe even arranged for the arrest, which means they might have left traces somewhere else. Even if it’s not enough on its own, these things might add up into enough pieces to at least point suspicions in a certain direction.

And Hollow Ground was right about one thing: this is of interest to you. If you play your cards right and make him interested as well… maybe you’ll have an ally, or at least an enemy of your enemy. Is that the best way to go about this? That would mean continuing working with him. For him. That thought chafes, you value your independence highly. 

But you value your freedom even more. 

If the Farm wasn’t a constant looming threat you would be free to act as you wished, and right now Hollow Ground is in the best position to help you. Probably the only one who would help you right now, as long as you make sure to drive home that he’d also benefit from it. 

Either way, you still have this task to finish, you can always decide later if continuing this alliance is a good idea. So, for now, you will need to set some people on some very old tracks and hope something turns up.

[konahrics]

I once made a post about the DG dlc and how it didn't live up to its potential, but every time i read it i feel like it's just a wall of disjointed text lmao so here's a better version for those interested:

- Harkon should have been more insane. His personality is fine, he should just be more obviously bonkers while being a haughty power-hungry mf, and it would come into play later for the radiant quests

- I wish the Volkihar members were more interesting. I haven't really counted how many npcs have backstories/unique lines in the Dawnguard vs the Volkihar so i won't talk numbers, but the Dawnguard npcs are just more memorable overall imo.

- Serana should lead the Volkihar at the end if you side with the vamps, not the pc. I know every questline in Skyrim ends up making the pc the leader of their faction, with the Dawnguard being an exception, but Serana just fits the bill better: she's a pure-blood while the pc is a half-blood, she's much more experienced in vampire politics and she's Harkon's daughter.

- For players who actually want to lead, it could be an option once you've done a lot of radiant quests, like how you restore the Ratway to its former glory in the Thieves' Guild questline, except instead Serana goes "hey yknow what? I don't even want to lead and you've been doing a lot. Here's your new crown."

- THE RADIANT QUESTS. Omg the potential. For the Volkihar: that's the part where Harkon having become obsessed with the prophecy would play a role. He's been neglecting his territory, other clans are encroaching and he either didn't even notice or didn't care. Now it's your problem. Also, you need to cull vamp numbers in the province so people don't make Dawnguard 2: electric boogaloo, both because of vampires invading from other provinces to take you territory and because of newly-formed covens, and you need to recruit more actual Volkihar by turning people (i like the quests that are already there for turning npcs tbh). For the Dawnguard: oh shit turns out the Volkihar were keeping other clans at bay and culling their own numbers, and now that they're gone, it's your job ig. The in-game quests are already pretty good, but introducing foreign clans would add to the world, essentially.

- Why does it feel so much like a good vs evil plotline? The Dawnguard admittedly has some nuance to it (they're good people who want to protect others from the vampire menace, but their leader has a torture chamber next to his bedroom...), but the Volkihar literally live in a castle whose floors are splattered with blood and have human cattle in the basement. I wish at least once Harkon is defeated, if you were on the vamps' side, you could choose how to run the faction. Maybe the "cattle" could be volunteers only and not kept in cages, or something, my point being that it should be left up to the player. Ngl, every time i side with the Volkihar, i feel bad about it.

- While the Dawnguard are making moves and recruiting in preparation for their fight against the Volkihar, the vamps are kinda just sitting there. There could be an internal struggle between those who are loyal to Harkon and those who believe he isn't fit to rule anymore (instead of the Vingalmo vs Orthjolf feud being about which of them can lick boots better, they could each represent the pro- and anti-Harkon sides), the result being that they're still not really reacting to the Dawnguard threat, but now there's a reason; they're too busy plotting against each other. And once Harkon's dead, the surviving vampires can work together and be less likely to stab each other in the back, which in turn sounds less exhausting for whoever ends up leading them.

Tbh the whole reason behind this rant (i guess "these rants" now...) is that some custom followers don't trust or react badly to a vampire pc, and with the game as it is, it makes total sense, so i wish Skyrim vampires weren't mustache-twirling villains. Also maybe i'm planning a fanfic with this Volkihar headcanon and wanted something to reference so people wouldn't think i'm misremembering the hell out of this game lol

[tungledotedu]

the vote blue no matter who crowd should've just kept it to themselves. we have a year before elections and you're already proclaiming that you'll back joe biden and the democrats no matter what?

have you noticed that none of this is over yet? only a four-day truce has been agreed upon and it was still delayed. israel is intensifying its bombings of northern gaza before this truce comes into effect. we don't even know how many palestinians have been killed as the gazan health ministry is unable to properly update the death toll. this is because the idf has been decimating its healthcare infrastructure, invading hospitals and sniping doctors. it claimed hamas had a command centre under the al-shifa hospital, and the biden administration 'confirmed' this without providing actual evidence.

this is only a recent development. god knows what else your government will do to escalate the conflict and help its ally slaughter more innocents. you'll look even stupider in retrospect for flocking to your leader like the brainwashed maga cultists you love to hate.

you don't have the spine to threaten to withhold your vote. you don't have the brains to question your officials' statements and actions. you don't even have the compassion to understand why people hesitate to support the democrats again. hell, some of you refuse to believe israel is committing a genocide in the first place.

you're turning people away, people who would have otherwise understood your point of view. you're effectively shooting yourselves in the foot. it would be laughable if it wasn't a chilling revelation of just how little you care about the victims of your government when it happens to benefit you.

you condescend to your own people as if they're idiots, as if they aren't deeply familiar with the dangers that trump represents. i can't imagine how difficult it must be for muslim and arab americans to be stuck in this unenviable dilemma, and for anyone who held their nose to vote for biden and is now appalled by his conduct. this is no easy choice, not in a country of warmongers posing as a democracy.

but you don't reach out to those people and show them any sympathy, do you? you dismiss them as lazy, useless leftists, because it's easier. you're all too eager to blame them for splitting the vote, as if they were the ones who chose to send more weapons knowing they'll be used for ethnic cleansing. biden wants them to be kept secret and bypass congress. because guess what? he knows you're gullible dipshits who will believe him when he claims to protect civilians.

but sure, you'll do what you can to hold the democrats accountable before you go to brunch. keep pretending your party is a champion of left-wing causes while it collaborates with an apartheid, racist settler-colonial state. your tax dollars go to drones and bombs, but at least your student loan debt is cancelled, right? and that's worth the price in human lives?

you lick those boots thinking they keep you safe, but one day they will crush you too.

[theburgessobserver]

Pt.2 MEET THE MONSTERS

“Are you awake Susan darling?”said a familiar voice.

“Derek!I had a nightmare, a terrible horrible nightmare that I was a hideous giantess.”

“Of course not," the voice said.”You're a very nice and handsome giantess.”

Or was it a dream?I cleared my eyes and my body was aching with pain and I saw Monger flying right in front of me in fact…“It wasn't a dream.” I realized,I felt utterly destroyed from this truth.I wanted to hide from this painful reality.

“Good News!Your time in solitary confinement is up!You're free to join the others!Oorah!”He said, hoping to cheer me up.

It was kinda relieving that I wouldn't be in one place in complete and utter solitude and finally get to talk to someone…then again that someone would be a hideous monster…And I was there,In solitary…alone,for days…at least I thought there were no clocks or skies to tell when it was day and night…time went by and I didnt have the slightest idea when was now or how long I was here.I was fed about three times a day I guess so i guess i was there about a week or so,they gave me oatmeal…I never really like it and this bulk army variation less.It was too dry and lumpy but I also got orange juice to balance it out.These were the loneliest days of my life…Id rather not even talk about them.

Monger and a trio of mini copters escorted me to the meeting room.Via the platform we went down with a level and then I was taken around the cells on my platform again.

This time I tried to look more closely. There were little people and little crates and all going about like ants in their antfill.

As we continued around, I saw many strange beings there…

I saw that buggy-scientist guy Dr…well something. At work he called out to me while playing with some toy bricks and building what looked like a toy brick variation of an atomic bomb.

“Aw Susan!You wouldn't happen to have some Uranium with you,I only need a little”I thought to myself that he must be joking no one would be that nutty.

The General did not: “Deny him his toy box privileges” he said to one of the guards.

“Yes Sir!”One of the guards replied via the walkie talkie.

Then I saw the Missing Link again. He was in his water tank lifting weights.

“Seven”

“Eight”

Then he noticed me and how I was looking at him.

“Nine Hundred Ninety Nine”

“One Thousand”

“Woah can't believe I did one thousand sets” he said trying to impress me and tossing away the weights,what was with him,did he think I didn't notice him till now?

This was some odd company I had here…but then again that should be expected.Because this place was built for monsters like- like- NO!I am not a monster, I am a normal girl who just by chance is stuck here!

We continued on…at times I looked at those strange beings despite not wanting to. They were hideous, they were odd,yet this morbid curiosity inside of me just forced me to just look at them.

Then I saw Grubzilla.

He was gigantic!Even in my view he was a giant…I shuddered in fear…just looking at him despite him not saying or doing anything scared me because after all he was a terrifying beast!All he was doing was looking at me… and then he roared and licked the glass as if he was trying to eat me!I was petrified.And to boot while I was a giant!But compared to this behemoth I was tiny…

While looking around I really started to see that the overall appearance of the prison was cold and sterile,with an eerie bluish cast from the fluorescent lights.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well you're here you can meet your new colleagues.After all you're going to be here for quite some time,OOOrah”Monger said when escorting me into the meeting room. “Oh and one more thing Monger” added to me. “The Government wants to change your name to something new” like a name which we will address you now that you're well ...you know. ,I put in a good word for you so they gave you the chance to decide it.”

“But I don't want to change my name” I said in protest! “My name is Susan!That's it!Susan Murphy!”

“Look this is how it's gonna be…be glad you can choose your name okay?” Monger cut me off giving me a bit of a look of displeasure with my ungratefulness,but then again it was still a change nonetheless.

“Oh and breakfast has been served”Monger added

In the meeting room at first I was alone…just me…I felt alone,but then again maybe it was for the better. those freaks could be dangerous…especially Grubzilla that way he licked the glass…he must have been really craving for me.Speaking of eating I didn't feel the least bit hungry I lost my appetite along with any taste.

I went to have a closer look at the common room she saw a big chair and a big table built just for me “When some people want to really do something,they can do it really fast”I said to myself ,when realizing how hard it must have been to do it and in such a timeframe it did help to lift my spirits a bit.But then I sat there and looked around…this place was so bare,like yes the chair and table were nice but it just felt so basic and dull as if all the color was out of its life. “A carpet,a few paintings and some flowers would be nice,”I said, dreaming about it.I sat in it,It was cold and not very comfortable while I wanted to complain I realized a chair of this size must have been made from construction girders used for skyscrapers and this was a sad reality,that this was how it just is.

“Well,Good day to you Susan!”A familiar voice said.

I quickly stepped back and screamed in terror,but then promptly stopped,I really had to get used to this…

“Oh,I understand your fear.But you seem to have been getting more accustomed to here,as last time you tried to crush me,and you seem to be getting better!Good for you” .After all be taken away and locked up in a prison not allowed to even say goodbye to your family and friends.And then meet us terrifying creatures at the same time,It is no surprise you were scared." He congratulated me.

“It's so nice to see you you again,The buggman continued “maybe this time we can meet on better terms.Sorry about Link bothering you,he was just a little excited”

He seemed to be a kind and intelligent fellow.Maybe they all weren't that bad I thought to myself he was quite nice and charming.

“I think I should formally introduce myself. I am Dr. Jacques-Yves or “Cockroach” that's my new name but both work.And you are Susan we didn't meet on best terms last time so I think we can give it a go again.

While I was looking at him I noticed that my Breakfast was on the floor. “Why is it there?” I asked.

“Practicality as just having to build a system to lift it would be hard so it was decided that It would make the most sense for you to do it without assistance”.

“Yeah great!”I said in a sarcastic tone I just didn't feel like well…Susan.

The Army kinda had a point after all just building a mere chair was hard and expensive, it was the cold hard truth.

Speaking of the chair, when I wanted to move it,it stayed in place. I looked down and noticed it was bolted in place…this place really was bare-bones. I couldn't move in neared or further just sit,then I looked at the food when I put in in front of me

“Is this-” I began to say.

“Yes it's oatmeal!It is served to all personnel for breakfast.”Jacques said.

“Sigh” Oatmeal again,why did it have to be oatmeal?Just remembering how I used to have homemade marmalade and sweet tasty pancakes smothered in maple syrup and tea with sugar…ah those sweet memories.

I noticed that Link and the blob were there but that werewolf who I noticed last time wasn't.

Then Grubzilla came in and he was looking at me.I was panicking on the inside at least,I told myself internally “Surely he's fead and wouldn't eat me,right?''I looked at him with uncertainty.

I examined him,he was weird, he was bi-pedal and had some plates on what I assumed to be his tale,he was terrifyingly weird and scary.

The atmosphere was tense…

Suddenly Grubzilla reached out for me!

I was petrified in place!

His pincer arms caught me and took me!

“Oh no!NO!NO!NO!HE'S GOING TO EAT ME!!!”I screamed in terror.

He took me up and,and,and, and then he!…hugged me on his belly? I calmed down it was oddly relaxing.Quaint…he was trying to calm me.His fur was like feathers.They were so soft, I felt…lifted.I felt as If my Mother was hugging me when I was a little girl.I felt relaxed,calmed by him.It was so comforting of him.

“Just when I needed it”I said merrily.

“That means that he”likes you Link said

I rubbed his foot back and he happily stomped and then he purred,Like a cat but because of it being a creature of his size it couldn't really hear it but feel it.

I started wondering about grubbzilla and then I aksed Jacques.

“What,what even is he?”I asked,he was so odd his face kinda reminded me of a hamster. He had a tail and two big legs standing like a dinosaur,with four pincer-like arms and two antennas.

"He's a Giant mutated grub -Bombyx Mori to specify.Got Hit by radiation from Castle Bravo nuclear test in the pacific.Apart from growing he had a few other changes to his biology like the ability to shoot silk and his appearance changing quite a lot."

“He has a taste for Japanese Cities,Oh and his brain is still bug-sized" Jacques adeded sarcastically.

"Hey!Link said angrily Grubzilla wasn't actually attacking the city.He was teething on buildings since grubs don't have teeth and getting teeth was one of the side-effects."

“Wait, if he's from Japan why is he kept here?”I wondered.

“Because Dear Susan,this facility was made for such beings and it is the only real place of its type in the world!And there is an international agreement between the world governments to hide them here and assist with capturing them and denying them,which is also coupled with an agreement that other myths which do not disturbed the balance are to assistant in not being exposed.”

"How are you even like this?"I asked Dr.Jacques-Yves

“I am a brilliant scientist. While a little batty at times,I was quite normal.Until the day I tried my experiment with a machine which had the mutation enhancements of certain bug life to combine my genes and get the benefits. By test number 78 I was ready to have a go for it.It turned me into this hybrid mad genius.While it gave me the cockroaches ability to survive and the ability to walk on walls it came at a high price,I was half cockroach…and if that wasn't enough my after my transformations my mind shifted…it changed.I found myself no longer liking many things as I did before but liking things a bug would like.”

"How did you even end up here?"I asked him.

“Well I won't bore you, the change made me just lose myself,things just kinda happened.I was kind of out of control ,I tried to take over some countries the government was called in and I ended up here.”

“That over there missing Link Half-ape Half Fish.When explorers accidentally found him,scientists were sent to thaw him out.He immediately escaped and headed directly for the beaches which were his old watering home,went on a rampage,kidnapped several women and fought back and after a few actions Monger was sent and managed to bring him here.”

“That Blob is the Blob but we like to call him Bob.”

“He was created in an experiment with tomatoes and chemically altered ranch salad dressing. He is a creature of very little intellect but ,I must admit that he is by far the happiest of us. His blinding stupidity and mirthful ignorance just help him.He is a simpleton,but a happy simpleton.”

Well…this was interesting,.I thought to myself maybe they know something about this place I didn't. Any of them could tell me more about how this place goes,then an idea flew into my head!Maybe they allowed visits here…maybe I could see Mom and Dad and even Derek!

“Are there any visitors here,you know family or friends?I asked hopefully with a slight glint of hope in my eyes.”

“Family?To be truly honest Susan none of us really had any family.For instance I was always so busy and caught up in my work that I never truly had a family or even many friends. I was married to my work…yet even despite that I at times just seem to lack a certain something in my life as if I'm empty.”

“As for Link, his family and species died out many millennia ago leaving him alone in a world that moved on without him and he didn't have the best relation to women he kidnapped.He is truly a relic of a bygone era.”

"Bob is a result of an experiment so he had no real connection to anybody or anything.The closest thing he had was that he is part tomato but that's about it."

"Grubzilla never really had a family he was just hatched and left alone to his own devices, so he went on his own and had an adventure which led him here."

“But I have a Family!”I said, choking on my words “And i want to see them!”

I started to cry again

Link came up come on “Girly it isn't that bad give us a chance…and give me a chance im the tough guy after all”

“Link I think it would be best for you to Leave Susan alone,what she went through none of us did to be frank.”Jacques said to Link

“To be honest,we are the closest thing we ever had to a family.” Jacques added in.

“Any others here?”I asked, trying to get myself out of the gutter.

“Well yes but not all of them are as sociable as us…Some have been locked up for good and aren't even let into the meeting room.”

Really?Which?

“Well we have quite a few most aren't as friendly or sociable like us.That is why they usually stay permanently locked up in there cages as they would only cause trouble.We have all sorts of beings here thought to be mythical creatures A giant sea serpent,dragons,Harpies,Invisible Man.They were all caught either by Monger or governments with assistance from various other groups.”Jacques though back likely remembering the first meeting.

“There's also Beastman who is a werewolf. While he comes out he can only control himself in the day hours so his visits to the meeting room are often sporadic and limited.Hes quite charismatic and gentlemanly but can at night he is feral.He actually gave himself up to the government.”

This was so odd all these things that were supposed to be confined to imagination…they were all real and here.

“Susan dear?You wouldn't mind if I made a check on you?”

“It's fine…I guess.”

He ran some checks through his computer and other such ways. It was less embarrassing then in the lab I had to admit at least I was treated more like a person on a check-up rather than some oddity of nature that was being explored.

After a while Jacques said“This is oddly fascinating. Despite your size you seem to have abnormal strength and energy…”

“What energy?What strength?I don't feel powerful?I shouldn't even be here, I'm a normal girl”This was weird for me,and about to get weirder.

“Indeed,one of the most interesting ones I had the honor of knowing.

After re-examining his studies he looked at me.

“Hmm,your height is 15.214 meters 49 feet 11 inches,however your weight is not equal to your height.”

“My weight?”I added what was he rambling about?

“Exactly,you weigh less than twelve tons.You weigh merely 11.8 tons which is a quarter of what it should be at your proportions.You're amazingly light!”

“LIGHT!?”I screamed in shock and horror.

“I am as heavy as an elephant!”This was disgusting.Just the fact alone that I was as heavy as an elephant made me feel repulsed.

“A smidge heavier actually my dear.”He added "Remember you are far taller than an elephant.And the cube law which dictates if you increase somethings mass by a factor of two its mass increase by the cube…however in your case it seems as though your strength was cubed instead.How Lucky for you.And wait!There's more to you!Your cardiopulmonary system,your nervous system by any normal biological sense you defy all scientific logic!Whatever caused this would defy all laws of normal physics!But let's be honest you're not the only one to do that…But it is so monumentally fascinating!

“I dont get it…i was a normal girl and now im heavier that an elephant and disproportionately strong…”

“Of course you were!”He said soothingly.I looked at his odd face nervously and listened.

After a while Monger flew in?”Susan Murphy!Have you chosen your new name yet?!”Monger shouted he must have been busy,his temper was not good.

“No,I completely forgot sir.”It's just that i was just having a talk with some of the others here an-

“I get it,I can come back later and check if you got your new name,so long as you're happy with it”He said and left he is quite a busy man.

This Left me deep in thought she wanted to think of a name.

“I just need to think of a name,a name that best describes me,a name like…

Amazon Babe?Link proposed. “Big,Strong and Beautiful”he added.I layed down into a position

I shook my head. “No something else…delicate like a blossom,elegant like a ballerina.

Like bob?Bob the blob said.

“No youre bob!”Link said

“Oh yeah!I keep forgetting.Bob said rather brainlessly.

“Well you see it's not easy trying to be a woman,and a Giantess is even harder”

“I don't know” Link said “I never tried to be either”

“It's just when most imagine giants there are big and hairy monster.Dumb and masculine.”

How about Garganta,Ginormica…or……THE AMAZING COLOSSAL WOMAN!Link said

“You got that from a movie right?”I said in a lighter tone slightly chuckling to myself.

“You know it would be better if I were a Man,Men are always so strong and big and muscle bound.I need the name to be cute and delicate, while I weigh almost twelve tons and have over 20 foot long fell. It still doesn't mean i can't be gentle…”I said slowly thinking back on ideas for a name.

“So youre saying you need a name which shall be most fitting for yourself as with your form and with your personality in one.” Jacques-Yves said.

!Which would be the right name for it?MEGA-MAID?Monsterina?"

“How about Gaia?”Jacques replied he was done with his examinations of collected data and was paying me full attention.

"Well...I dont know"I said in uncertainty.

“She originates from Greek mythology.She is a giant,the personification of Earth and mother of all life.And the mother of the Titans,Cyclops and other giants”

“Gee,thanks Doc.But I think it's too vague like yeah she sounds good but the name just doesn't seem to fit me”I said after some deep thinking in my head.

Jacues-Yves went back deep into his thought and ended the silence with another well thought out suggestion.

“How about Titania?”

Now this sounded interesting, it did have that power and softness in it.It was by far the most fitting name so far.But it wasn't completely sold on it,but it sparked my interest.

That sounds interesting”

“Oh it is!”He said with a smile “It's from ancient classical Roman legend.It was the name given to the daughters of the Titans!”You might have heard of it sometime.He said looking proud of his suggestion.

No,I don't think so.Am I supposed to?I asked

The Queen of the Fairies in Shakespeare's Midsummer night's dream!So its fitting to represent both sides of you!

“That's great,...but I think it needs a bit of a change.Something just to deviate a little and make it inspired yet at the same time with a hint of familiarity Doc.”

Well let's think about it,meanwhile maybe we can talk about that Shakespearean classic!...you read it right?

“Well to be honest doc,I never read anything shakespeare.But I did see Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet with Derek.”I said abashed, my memories quickly came back.How she loved that movie and Derek did too it was such a romantic night…sigh…if only it were…if only it were.

You…never read Shakespeare?Jacques said in surprise. “I hope you don't mind me asking you this but where did you go to?”

“Well…I said, continuing to reminisce on my past. It was kinda normal standard school,not some school for gifted which you surely went to”

Actually my was fairly standard to Dr. Admitted “Not an extraordinary amount of geniuses there to be truthful”But they did force a few old classics into us students quite meticulously.

“Not by us.I think we did some Shakespeare in English,but I never was really interested in it.I remember only just something like First Folio and one thing about Fair is..well something”

Well then,First Folio is a compilation of 36 plays from Shakespeare whereas “Fair is Foul and Foul is fair”Is from Macbeth The power of unchecked ambition is the main theme of Macbeth and that sentence is one of the first in the entire book.

“Wow,you seem to know everything there is to know”I said he really was the smartest person I ever met.

“No,not at all!For instance I don't exactly how you grew to this size and how you defy so many laws of physics”

But I do seem to have quite an oddly good memory for such trivial things.

“I dont”I sighed. I had to admit I felt very ignorant dumb after that conversation with all things a bugman.

Then I remembered the name I thought about and thought about how to add that something to it.Than I came up with it!

I think I'll choose to call myself……TITANICA!