#someone saying they’re bisexual doesn’t invalidate you

[divinemiracles]

I will always be upset with how people state that Lunter is an invalid relationship. Allow me to give my responses to anti-Lunter statements. I’ve said these before but I’ll say them again since some people can’t understand them.

~

“Luz called him family, therefore they’re family.”

In Thanks To Them, Luz specifically said the line “You’re family now” to Hunter. Calling someone family doesn’t automatically mean that you view them as literal family. There are multiple different kinds of family: literal family, parents’ friends, found family, your own friends, etc.

People call their friends family.

It is also SO VERY COMMON for people that are Hispanic/Asian/etc. to call their close ones “family.” I should know, I’m Filipina. People seem to forget that Luz is Afro-Latina, meaning that it is common for her to call her close ones “family.”

More importantly, this line is practically the same to when Willow said “You’re one of us now” in For The Future. Being such a close friend to someone to where they call you family is the same as “being one of them.”

Also, tweets outside of the show are not canon, just the crew’s headcanons. Only things inside of the show are canon. When Zeno changed his twitter name to “Hunter Noceda,” that was a headcanon. Yes, he’s a part of the crew, but when things are canon, they’re in the source, not outside of it.

Camila has never legally adopted Hunter on screen. You can say that she could have legally done it off-screen but that’s a headcanon, not canon. Look at Camila’s house in Watching and Dreaming, there were lots of photos of Luz, Vee, and herself excluding Hunter. In the finale, it was also shown that Darius took in Hunter.

All of the Hexsquad members likely viewed Camila as a mother figure, not just Hunter. Amity’s mother was abusive, Gus and Willow had no mother, and Hunter had no healthy parental figures yet. Camila viewed all of them equally as her children, which is why she called herself a mother of six. Why would she view Hunter as her kid more than the others when she knew them all for the same amount of time?

If you’re going to say that he’s related to Luz from being Eda’s ancestor (Caleb), remember that he’s a clone of Caleb and not actually Caleb Wittebane himself.

“It’s erasing sapphic representation.”

How? Tell me: how is it erasing sapphic representation?

Luz will canonically always be in a relationship with Amity. Shipping her with a man is not going to erase her canon relationship from existence. Luz and Amity’s relationship is not going to magically disappear from the show.

Besides, Luz is bisexual, which means that she is attracted to women and men (2+ genders). If you believe that she should only be shipped with women, then you are erasing her bisexuality by only viewing her as lesbian when it comes to being in relationships.

Yes, sapphic representation is buried beneath heterosexual content but Luz and Hunter do not classify as a heterosexual relationship, they’re both bisexual, making the relationship a bisexual one.

*Bisexual wlm relationship are still a part of the LGBTQIA+ community. Bisexual wlm relationships should not be viewed as anything less than wlw and wlm relationships.*

“You would rather ship Luz with a man than a woman.”

Most people who ship Lunter are people who believe that the ship had much more potential for the story than Luz and Amity did. The whole purpose of Luz and Amity being a couple was for sapphic representation (which was lovely since they are pretty healthy if you don’t look too deep into it). Lunter could fit so much more into the story narrative-wise.

Luz and Amity = Sapphic representation and light-hearted for the story.

Luz and Hunter = Deep and narratively-great (Wittecouple “reincarnated”) for the story.

Which one you ship depends on why you watch the show. Do you watch Owl House for the representation or for the lore? People watch shows for different reasons.

“Luz has already shown interest in men, therefore she shouldn’t be shipped with one.”

What I’m getting from this is that you believe Luz shouldn’t be shipped with men even though she’s bisexual since it’s “erasing sapphic representation again” and there was “already enough bisexual wlm content.” This is stating that she should only date woman in another format while trying to not sound biphobic.

This is a biphobic statement. Once again, Luz is attracted to both men and women. I don’t see a problem with shipping her with men. Erasing sapphic representation? Reread the second section of this. She will always canonically be with Amity and Lunter is not a heterosexual relationship, it’s a bisexual relationship.

If someone said that a bisexual female character who was dating a man couldn’t be shipped with women since it would erase her attraction to men, how would you feel? Upset that the character isn’t allowed to express her sexuality? It’s the same situation only swapping the genders.

~

TLDR / Recap

Since both Luz and Hunter are bisexual, Lunter is a bisexual relationship, not a heterosexual relationship. Bisexual man x woman relationship are just as valid as sapphic ones in the LGBTQIA+ community.

Luz/Amity is liked for having cute representation and Luz/Hunter is liked for lore reasons. Luz dating a man is not lessening her attraction to women because she is bisexual. Luz and Amity will always be canon.

Luz and Hunter aren’t siblings because calling someone family does not automatically mean literal family. There’s different kinds of family. It’s also common for people that are Hispanic to call their closed ones “family” and not mean literal family. Camila viewed all of the Hexsquad as her children (including Amity), why would she prioritize one over the other?

Also, things are only considered canon if they were outright stated inside of the show.

~

“Why do Lunter fans feel the need to defend it so much?” Because people don’t know how to respect harmless ships/interpretations, see that headcanons aren’t changing canon, and see that bisexual man x woman relationships are just as valid and LGBTQIA+ as sapphic/achillean ones.

[your-queer-dad]

Tw: vent, transphobia, negative thoughts, sh, and si

Hey dad

I was wrong

My mom doesn’t believe me. She says I “might be non-binary” but that I’m “not masculine enough to be a boy” because my interests and the way I dress are “gender neutral”. I don’t even know what to do at this point because my dad doesn’t believe me either and it hurts. I just want them to call me their son and he/him and my chosen name, not daughter and she/her and my deadname. They said they could use my nickname that’s kind of gender neutral, and use they/them, but it doesn’t seem like they’re even trying. God I just wish I could make them believe me, but I know they won’t. They don’t even want me to even do any type of medical transition other than a breast reduction until I’m 25, that’s 8 years away (I’m 17). I really wish I could stay positive about this but it’s so hard. I hurt myself really bad after they talked to me about how they don’t believe it, how I’m probably “just gender neutral” or something like that. I seriously considered taking all of my old pills the other night, I really thought about it, but I didn’t, which I’m proud of myself for, but the urge won’t leave my brain. Another problem is that my parents are convinced I can’t be trans because “all trans men were lesbians but realized they were dudes who like chicks” (which isn’t true ofc) because I’m bisexual and have a boyfriend. It’s really annoying and frustrating and just invalidating.

Thanks for enduring my stupid rant

—🪳

Hey kiddo, I'm so sorry they reacted like that. I wish they could respect your identity, and you didn't deserve to be disrespect your identity like that. It isn't fair. I'm so sorry, you are who you are and I am so proud of you. If you ever need to talk to someone, I'm here.

- dad x

[redheadbigshoes]

While I can understand the frustration about the whole “I like women in a lesbian way and men in a gay way”, I feel like that’s more an expression of a person’s gender? Ie, if a person is bigender and bisexual, that way of phrasing it might feel more true to their experience? It’s complicated, and not everyone will share the same experience with gender and sexuality, since they’re so intertwined for so many. Then again, I agree with the idea that the queer community needs to be ok with straight people/relationships sometimes. There’s a weird pushback (which is understandable), but it only isolates more of our own community (ie bisexuals in a straight passing relationship, straight trans men, etc)

I hope any of that made sense haha. Please correct me if I’m wrong, I’m trying to understand :)

Idk it seems weird even if you’re nb or bi saying your attraction can be both gay and lesbian, not only because it really feels lesbophobic but also because it doesn’t seem to acknowledge bisexuality as an unique and separate identity.

I feel like seeing someone say this gives the same vibes as a bi woman (for example) saying their attraction to women is lesbian. It isn’t.

And it really just feels like people who say this just say this because they want to be seen as “more gay” and because of probably internalized biphobia and fear of being seen as straight.

This case just seems another case of people using gay and lesbian as umbrella terms when there’s actually better terms to be used that do not invalidate an entire identity. Like saying your attraction to women is sapphic.

I won’t “correct” you cause you obviously have the right to disagree with me and have your own opinion.

[mogai-sunflowers]

oh. my god.

I just saw an exclusionist say that “just because bi people used to be lumped in with lesbians doesn’t mean that’s okay now. slavery was okay in the past, that doesn’t mean it’s okay now”

first of all. “slavery was okay in the past” it was NEVER OKAY WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

but most importantly this is one of the most disgusting fucking arguments I’ve ever seen. No way did they just compare BI PEOPLE USING TO WORD LESBIAN FOR THEMSELVES to MOTHERFUCKING SLAVERY?????

they were going on about how “bisexuals WANTED their own terms” okay??? good for the individual bi people who wanted that but individuals are not an entire community they’re individuals, if an individual bi person identifies as lesbian then that doesn’t invalidate community bisexual activism. I’m so fucking tired.

and one person added on saying “if I tell someone I’m a lesbian, they know what it means, so why would we change to include bi women” as if that isn’t essentially “I think you should only label yourself in a way that other people can understand” like fuck you. I am a bi lesbian. I’m so fucking sick and tired. so done.

and then another person has the audacity to bring up how they have trauma from corrective shit and therefore lesbian needs to stay exclusive (NO ONE IS EVEN TRYING TO CHANGE IT IN THE FIRST PLACE) like uhmmmm I’m genuinely sorry for your trauma but that is not my responsibility to cater to. If me being bisexual near you triggers you then that’s a you problem.

someone pls send me requests I know they’re closed but I need smth to distract me im going to spiral

[cheapvodkaenjoyer]

ace-of-knives makes zero sense. First of all masturbation isn’t the same as having sex with someone, you can masturbate just to get the stress out or even for comfort. It’s an act you do alone.

Also the whole all boy college too?!! A person can absolutely not have sex if they’re in that situation, they’re openly invalidating someone’s sexuality and doing it to heterosexual people doesn’t make it okay.

Because what they’re saying can be applied to homosexual people too then…a gay man can have sex with a woman if other men aren’t available and a lesbian can have sex with a man if other women aren’t available…and saying that one can just have sex for the sake of having sex doesn’t sound so good now huh? Not everyone is bisexual and that’s okay.

I swear i lose braincells every time I open this site.

No idea what they were going on about, its like these people find an inarguable topic and make up a whole fanfiction of how they are right actually. No you just look like a dumbass who cant grasp what my original argument even was, losing braincells is mild to my experience on this damn website🥲

[boyquiet]

What counts as queer rep? If you're only talking about subtext then you have to ask if it's really rep or if you have a colored view of the character in question. The thing about MGS is that it's not afraid to label it's queer characters as such, like vamp, Dr Strangelove, Volgin. Confirmed in canon is what I consider representation otherwise the plot gets misunderstood or motivations are misunderstood. Everything else is just interpretation, which is loose and subjective so not true rep since the subtext may be unintentional. A character isn't queer just because fans think so or want it, it has to be confirmed before it's Valid representation.

I get how you feel but the point I’m trying to get at is that too many people are concerned with what counts as Good and Valid Representation and scrutinizing every character who might be queer under a microscope so they can determine whether or not the character said enough gay things and give the work Validity Points. I agree that there is a difference between intentional and unintentional subtext but at the end of the day there’s no true way to tell aside from word of god, and subtext is subtext and not text for a reason, so the viewer can come to their own conclusions without having everything spelled out for them, and I think it can be degrading to storytelling to suggest that subtext is an invalid form of representation. I agree that it is important to have more textually canon queer people in media, but to me the idea that every queer character has to be confirmed as gay on screen and behave in an acceptable way to be considered Valid is harmful to storytelling—subtext is an important tool for all writers. I like MGS because there are queer characters on all levels of text ranging from “up to the viewer” to “confirmed by word of god” to “explicitly canon” but the levels of “canon” are pretty hotly debated when it comes to characters like bb, kaz and ocelot, so my point of view is to be less concerned with how much evidence there is and try to recognize for myself why the storytelling decisions were made, why some characters get to say they’re bisexual or lesbian but some don’t. And a lot of all of this has to do with the context of the media and the time period and all, like a lot of people try to pick apart every character under a modern lens of what’s acceptable by our current standards. like ocelot doesn’t say “im gay” or kiss big boss because aside from that not being fitting for his character or appropriate for their story, it likely would not be allowed to be made (kojima had to fight his own team to include shots of venom and kaz standing close together), but some people would only be concerned with the fact that he’s not “textually” canonically gay. anyway this is a very long winded way of saying that the “validity” of someone’s textual queerness can be very much up to interpretation, but there are many reasons why a character might be subtextually queer and trying to qualify characters as either Canon and Good or Not Canon and Queerbait is a waste of time that could be spent enjoying a character, and that character sexuality debates should be handled on a case by case basis instead of trying to make a quantifiable scale of how canon something is

[chronicanthropologic]

Happy Pride Month!!

Let’s have a serious talk.

To the LGBT+ community. Stop invalidating other people in the community. Actually just fucking stop.

Bisexual people are valid. Pansexual people are valid. Asexual people are valid. Demisexual people are valid. Aromantic people are valid. All of you are valid. And this isn’t to say lesbian people aren’t valid, or gay people aren’t valid, or trans people aren’t valid. You. Are. All. Valid. Okay?! Stop trying to invalidate other people in the community.

For everyone that keeps saying terrible things about aro/ace people or try to say they aren’t real(?!?!!!) remember that sexuality is based on preferences, behaviors, and attraction. So actually just shut the fuck up. For people who call bi and pan people “switches” or invalid. Fuck you. Just because a bi or pan person is with someone of one gender doesn’t immediately mean they aren’t attracted to any other gender anymore.

This month should be all of us celebrating our identities. Not trying to silence anyone or invalidate anyone. Fight against the corporations that want to capitalize off us.

I didn’t want to start pride month by telling some members of the community to absolutely go fuck themself and shut the fuck up, but y’all are out here telling tons of people they’re invalid and insignificant or don’t have a place in their own community. So absolutely shut the fuck up.

[taylortruther]

i totally agree that there’s homophobia in the fandom and some people use gaylors insane theories as an excuse to say completely inexcusable shit! but i also personally believe a lot of the time gaylors specifically (whether they’re queer or straight bc it’s not mutually exclusive) accuse people who are disagreeing with their theories or asking them to stop of being homophobic for those two things. even if they’re being completely respectful. like ill see an insane thread made by a gaylor & someone will comment something along the lines of “im queer so i totally get relating to taylors music and reading it through a queer lens so it relates to you but that doesn’t mean you need to push your sexuality on taylor herself or invalidate her relationships with men she’s publicly said she’s dated/dating or her father esp when she’s denied being in the community and said it makes her uncomfortable.” ect ect something like that. & they’ll jump in w the ‘how’s the internal homophobia working out for you’ ect. idk. that’s just one example but there’s many! a large portion of the gaylor fandom also seem to completely discount the bisexual community & the possibility of if taylor is queer she might be bi.

i’m not disagreeing with you at all, i believe there’s horrible people in every fandom, especially large ones like ours. there’s racism, sexism, homophobia, so on.

i just also think i’ve seen countless cases where someone’s almost tiptoeing around them trying to be completely respectful and not mean at all and get slapped with the accusation of homophobia.

i’m so sorry this is so long

anon with all due respect what do you want me to say here? "you're right, some individual gaylors act out of pocket, thus we should focus on that instead of the pervasive homophobia in the fandom that reflects the wider and more serious/troubling concern of homophobia in the world"? try to look at this from a wider lens/a macro scale.

like, what does it mean that i said this:

yes, gaylor theories are wild, but i stopped debunking gaylor because i was contributing to homophobia in the fandom, which i saw with my own eyes in asks and the people who supported me.

...and i have now had dozens of people sending me asks that say things like this:

yes, but some gaylors are AWFUL, and sure some swifties are homophobic but gaylors are STILL BAD and you have to acknowledge that!

[fakeshibe]

opened twitter today and literally half of the posts on my timeline were biphobia, which just kinda sucks to have the first thing you see on twitter that day be people who don’t even know me telling me i’m wrong about my own sexuality, or saying im not bi im just in denial about comp-het or blaming bi people for the biphobia they face and invalidating the homophobia they face because ‘you can just chose to be in a straight passing relationship’ 🫠

which… that’s really not how it works lol, like bisexuality doesn’t mean you just pick who you like and then get feelings for them, it works just the same as literally any other orientation and i thought that would’ve been common knowledge (although maybe i’m being too generous by assuming genuine ignorance there instead of deliberate obtuseness)

it’s not just online, people feel so comfortable being casually biphobic irl. like, i don’t get comments on it super often, but i’ve had a couple of comments made (mostly by other queer people!!) that are just super invalidating or insensitive things to say. but because they’re not being directly homophobic they don’t see it as being an actually fucked up thing to say.

there’s been a couple of things that i’ve laughed im off in the moment, or like gone away from the conversation and told someone else ‘hey listen to this funny thing my friend said’ only to realise days or weeks later that they were actually just saying something fucked up lol

just let me be bisexual in peace, im literally just chilling i don’t see what the issue is

[girl4music]

Also … a little off topic but I am not even sure I’m bisexual anymore because someone straight up asked me one day if I would date a transperson or non-binary person and I answered with a resounding “yes!” and they told me that I can’t be bisexual then because bisexual people are only attracted to male and female. And when I argued back and said that transpeople are male and female they said transpeople don’t count.

And I was confused as fuck. And also very irritated.

Transpeople are not male and female? What?!

See this is why I hate the term “transgender”. People act like it’s an entirely separate gender from male or female. But it’s not. It’s just the opposite gender from whatever the person was assigned as at birth.

So if they were assigned male, they’re now female.

This would still make me bisexual if I was attracted to them and dated them because they’re a female.

If they were assigned female, they’re now male.

This would still make me bisexual if I was attracted to them and dated them because they’re a male.

At what point are they separated from the binary of male and female? They’re not. They’ve transitioned.

I know on the bigger scale there’s more than the gender binary and it’s more of a spectrum. But if you personally and specifically identify as a gender, then you are that gender. No buts or ifs about it. Imagine telling a transperson that they’re not the gender they identify by or as because “transgender doesn’t count.”

The last time I checked transgender was very much of the binary of male and female because they are still one or the other depending on how they identify.

And if I dated a transgender person then I would very much still consider myself as a bisexual person because I’m not going to invalidate that they are the gender they identify by just because they’re not “male” or “female” in the eyes of transphobic people.

So yes, according to this person I was talking to I’m not bisexual. I’m pansexual because pansexuality includes being attracted to transgender and non-binary people. Yeah, that is very confusing to me. Maybe I would have to think on it more closely if I was dating a non-binary person because many non-binary people don’t like to be referred to as either “male” or “female”. But transgender people should count because all that’s happened is a transition from one end of the binary to the other end. It’s not separate. And the binary is still very much there even though there’s more to it than that. Even though there can be a spectrum and nothing is permanent and yeah. But don’t invalidate the male and female aspect to it because that doesn’t just insult people who are cisgender but it can also insult people who aren’t.

The changing of gender and sexuality together is headache all of its own. But don’t erase any of it.

But I have to ask… Is it actually true that if you’re attracted to somebody that doesn’t identify as the gender they were assigned as at birth and date them that you’re not bisexual? That seems wrong to me because that’s like saying they’re some other gender from the gender binary of male and female. And that’s just not true. Nor is it a very nice thing to hear. That you’re some other sexuality because you’re attracted to and dating a transperson. I don’t like that at all.

So if it’s true then I hope they reassess that principle.

And hang on a minute! What if I didn’t identify as bisexual? What if I identified as a lesbian/gay but I dated someone who transitioned from female to male? Would that mean I would remain a lesbian? Or would I now be bisexual because I am dating them? Or would I also have to transition gender just to justify it?

You see this is what happens when we put ourselves into categories and go strictly by ever-changing terms and definitions instead of the relevant experiences. We end up running rings around ourselves to try to fit into these specific boxes that are not even permanent. We attempt to change and adapt from what we are in the present to satisfy what we MIGHT be in the future.

And all because the alphabet soup says it’s so.

That’s backwards.

But people do it every day. Identify themselves by categories, terms and definitions and not by their subjective, personal and relevant experiences.

And you wonder why I think identity is bullshit.

No, it’s true that I do not like ignoring, invalidating or excluding minorities. But at the same time - I do not and will not do that to myself, as a minority, either.

[butch-bakugo]

lmao im lesbian and i get you on the blog title but like. they’re just kinsey 5s trying to find a label for it. kinsey 5 (and kinsey 1) where people are “mostly gay/mostly straight with a few exceptions” type of people will always exist, they don’t have a choice about it any more than we do, and throwing a fit about it doesn’t change that.

1st off, the Kinsley scale is incredibly homophobic and biphobic. Like this is the same man who believed in conversion shock therapy so I don't value any Kinsley shit. This man did not respect that people could be gay or bisexual so don't bring his homophobic ass scale into conversations about bisexuality and lesbianism.

2ndly... Have you heard of preferences? Did you know that bisexuals have historically identified with and without preferences? Like you can be bi with a preference. Not to mention that if you think someone who is a whole ass lesbian is the same as a bisexual with a heavy preference for women then that's lesbophobic as fuck. Lesbians don't like men and masculine aligned people. Period. That's what lesbianism is. I was a lesbian for 5+ years, I know lesbianism.

Lesbians don't like men inherently, bisexuals do. Bi wlw used to be considered both straight and lesbian because the lesbian label used to only mean you fucked women. Bi women were called lesbians when they were with women and straight when they were with men and idk how to explain to you, as a bisexual myself, that that removes my autonomy as a bisexual to have to flow between other labels when we labels ourselves. Bisexuals and lesbians fought to separate bisexuals from the lesbian label because they are more than their sexual acts. Bisexuals have been reduced and forced to "choose a side" since our conception. We are not lesbians and we are not gays and we are not straights because we like everyone sexually.

"Bi lesbians" don't just hurt lesbians by forcing attraction to men Into their identity but it also forces bisexuals back into the pressure to 'pick a side' which IS INCREDIBLY BIPHOBIC. Gender and monosexuality is a complex topic but saying you can be genderfluid or bigender and still be a lesbian aka exclusively attracted to women and related enbies and not men is not the same as telling every lesbian their sexuality must include full cisgender men, male aligned enbies and trans men. One is a fluctuation of gender that is super unsteady in our society and the other is changing a fundamental of the only oppressed identity to not include men and forcing them to include men.

It should throw hints in your direction that that label is invalid when straight men who learn about it immediately go to the argument that "well some lesbians like men, you just arnt progressive enough" when they hit on lesbians. As if lesbians aren't told daily by pansexuals and certain bi people that being gay is regressive. Ik because when I was a lesbian, I was told that.

Now this was pretty scattered but imma go fuck my gf whose also a bf now as someone who is a boy and girl and we are gonna have full blown bisexual sex cause guess what? A preference is not the same as exclusivity, that's why bi and lesbian aren't the same thing anymore and bisexuals are owed their own autonomy.

[redheadbigshoes]

saw these tags under someone’s post. rottin my brain

“bi lesbians aren’t changing a thing about lesbians period. you can still be A Lesbian and have that mean you’re not into men because a bi lesbian is a different identity”

the stupidity is insane. “It’s a different identity” then why does it need to incorporate lesbianism into it? you’re merging two contradictory labels together.

they basically differentiate it like “a lesbian is a sapphic who does not like men and a bi lesbian is a sapphic who DOES like men” and that’s fucking stupid

Yeah another anon said something similar to what you said, that they treat “bi lesbian” as if it was a whole separate identity than lesbian (which is stupid af).

Putting two completely different identities together doesn’t magically create a whole other identity. You’re just invalidating both identities by doing that.

All of this because they’re afraid to use the bisexual label… A sapphic who is attracted to men is bi, what do they have against that label?? And if they don’t want to use it there’s still other labels who don’t invalidate entire communities like pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual or even just say sapphic.

[hayleysayshay]

Honestly this is probably my most controversial opinion but I don’t really care if people head canon Korra and Asami as lesbians.

Like, I think they’re bisexual. They are bisexual in canon if you take into consideration the author’s confirmation as canon. I also hate anti-fans (anti SJW type people) saying ‘they turned them into lesbians!!!’ When discussing the finale, because dating a woman doesn’t turn you into a lesbian and I consider that to be erasure. Realising you like your friend is kind of how a lot of relationships work in real life. I believe canon paints Korra and Asami having a real romantic interest in Mako. It just didn’t work out. And then they date eachother.

However if a lesbian fan reads either Korra or Asami’s relationship with Mako as comp het and they recognise the characters as being gay in a way that’s similar to their own experiences and identity it doesn’t really bother me. I can see that some lesbians have dated men in the past so that could happen with Korra and Asami.

Like this doesn’t invalidate canon as it’s a fan interpretation. Canon is still canon and the author’s word and not changed by some random user’s tweet or fanfic.

I suppose it comes down if you see a fan saying ‘Asami is a lesbian’ as dismissing any discussion of her being bisexual, but often (on Twitter where I saw most of this discourse that’s recent) it isn’t? It’s just someone saying they see them as gay. It doesn’t change anything to do with canon. Obviously some people saying ‘Asami is a lesbian and you’re wrong for thinking she’s bisexual’ isn’t a position I support but I think we often assume people are supporting the worst when discussing sexualities of fictional characters on the internet.

I don’t know, I think a lot of this is just personal preference. Like for me fanworks and headcanons have wildly differing interpretations and I feel like there’s always room for different versions of the same story. That’s the joy in fan works and headcanons. If you don’t like one interpretation, chance is there’s something out there that actually hits all your own personal ideas. And sometimes it’s fun to read stuff that is far away from your own interpretation!

This relates to head canoning Mako as gay, and not bisexual (I mean him being interpreted as straight isn’t normally negatively seen). Some people see this bi-erasure because he dated women, but again, comp het is a story that does happens as gay men do date women before realising they’re gay (I mean, inherently, the most canon sexuality is still that he’s straight). I headcanon him as bisexual but it’s no more canon than him being gay. Or similarly, headcanoning Kya as bisexual when people usually consider her a lesbian, because she mentioned a girlfriend (so canon sapphic) but we don’t actually know how she actually identifies. She could have previously dated a man or consider herself as Bi. We don’t know.

Maybe there’s a broader discussion on if some people can’t relate to bisexual characters in queer relationships so they feel the need to head canon them as gay. I think that’s a potentially interesting discussion and I do acknowledge that part of the discourse and I do think bisexual erasure is a thing that happens with these posts about gay Korra and Asami, and I get that it feels personal for so many people so there is genuine hurt.

But is it really that problematic for someone to headcanon a fictional character to their sexuality given in a blog post? I mean I freely ignore some of the canon commentary (smh Wu and Mako did not know eachother for three years I don’t care what the commentary implies. But the commentary is still more canon than my HC). Maybe, again, some rando’s opinion doesn’t actually affect my read of them being bisexual which I feel is very supported by canon and will not change this fact. Maybe I just don’t think good activism involves dog piling on some random twitter account for thinking Asami is gay.

[radkindoffeminist]

TRA logic makes a lot more sense when you realise that the reason they hate definitions of words is because they see every aspect of themselves as a quirky personality traits rather than a simple fact about themselves and how they exist in this world.

TRAs say that women = adult human females is wrong because it reduces us to our sex organs, but that only makes sense because they think being a woman is femininity and makeup and gossiping and every other misogynistic stereotype in the book. It’s a personality trait and they’re not women because they don’t relate to those traits so they must think we do the same: reduce women down to our definitions and see them as nothing more than that which, in this case, would be walking vaginas. Why do you think that they make comments about how trans women are ‘better women’ than us and focus so heavily on their femininity and them passing? Because they see womanhood as abiding by a set of rules and conforming to a certain look/style and not just existing as an adult human female and that’s exactly what a lot of trans women do and think about womanhood.

Then there’s being gay/bi which they so obviously see as a fun, quirky, and progressive trait. It’s not about the sexual attraction which you experience but simply which label and identity you relate most too which how we end up with straight people identifying as something else (normally bi/pan and then dating the opposite sex exclusively) because it’s fun and also why some women identify as lesbians despite not being exclusively attracted to other women (like ‘bi lesbians’ or ‘lesbians’ who still sleep with men but just don’t date them). So when people come along and say that lesbian means liking women only and bisexual means liking both sexes, they see that as an invalidation of their entire identity and and ignoring everything that ‘makes’ them bi/gay (ie: how they relate to bi/gay culture). It’s the same reason why they hate the ‘boring gay people’ who they call ‘basically straight’: they can’t accept or understand the idea that someone’s sexuality doesn’t determine their entire personality and likes and dislikes and that they can just be a normal person who happens to be gay.

To them, everything adds to their personality and nothing can just be a fact about their existence. They’re NB because they’re androgynous or don’t relate to womanhood (mostly not liking being oppressed). They’re women because they’re feminine or men because they’re masculine. They’re gay because they’re quirky and colourful and have always felt like their weird person or slightly outcast. And even neurodivergency is starting to see the same thing: people relating to ADHD stuff because they’re forgetful and have poor time management; people labelling every single normal human behaviour as being ND to explain why they do some stuff and think they’re quirky for it (where’s that post that’s like ‘other people don’t have songs replaying in their head all day on repeat’ and then someone’s like ‘actually yeah they do’?). Nothing about them can just be a thing; every label comes with a bunch of traits and every trait can be matched to a label.

So when we come along and say womanhood means being female, gay/lesbian means same sex attracted, and bi means attracted to both sexes then they see this as invalidating basically their whole personality. And they see it as us doing the same: because we don’t relate these groups to personality traits, we therefore see only these traits. A woman can’t be a whole person but a walking vagina. A gay person can’t be a whole person but someone who obsesses over others’ genitals. And that’s their homophobia and misogyny showing.

[ellesliterarycorner]

What My Followers Want To See More Of In Male Characters

I’m always looking for ways to improve my writing, especially writing male characters, and I’m happy to say that my WIP has quite a few of these. I think we can all agree that with the absolutely sickening influx of dark, broody, bad boys in YA fiction, having male characters with more nuance and hmmm I don’t know actual personalities is refreshing and something that all books need. Thank you guys so much for answering this poll(conducted through instagram), and let me know if there’s something else y’all want to be polled on that I can turn into a post! I didn’t change anything that you guys wrote, so there are some repeats on the list, but I think it makes a point to see how many people want to see the same (relatively simple) things in fiction!

Them being soft and kind 

going to therapy/having mental health struggle 

bisexuality! 

non-toxic religious men

lgbt men(beyond being gay and fetishised) 

feminine guys who aren’t gay 

men of all sexualities being feminine 

physically disabled men who are very masculine 

straight male characters in close friendships with mlm characters 

sensitive and weak moments 

“feminine” men mb, guys who like flowers and stuff while also being very strong cause thats cool I think 

confidence enough to compliment other men

feminine interests without being judged 

discussing things they love doing 

I think it’d be nice if people showed men’s insecurities more often. Also, men also get abused and stuff 

emotions!!!

genuine friendships with someone who’s better than them 

eating disorders, anxiety, insecurities, other common mental health concerns 

guys not afraid to show their vulnerability and weaknesses to the people they care about 

casually wearing makeup and not making a fuss or a statement out of it 

being shy is ok. being nice to the mc and not being a complete douche bag, if the mc is being an idiot and playing with their feelings telling her straight up or leaving her, they don’t have to be attractive to be likable, their dark pasts isn’t an excuse for them to be shitty human beings 

them being vulnerable 

healthy platonic friendships 

vulnerability and insecurity shown through non toxic traits 

soft spoken, kind and gentle voice 

I want to see them cook, sex, or such without invalidating their masculinity 

male characters who express their emotions and aren’t ridiculed by others for it 

I want more soft men tbh. It’s usually all badass and then breakdowns. I want someone who is fragile 

affectionate with their friends and/or in tune with their emotions 

less abs

males who aren’t afraid to cry and be affectionate with their friends 

respect and genuine care for females and people of other genders, thank you 

i would love to see more bisexual/pansexual male characters!!

the ability to take no for an answer 

bisexual males that aren’t the main plot. they just get to be bi and it doesn’t affect the story 

emotional softness 

being vulnerable/crying without thinking that they’re weak for it 

ones that are submissive and fine with it 

Queer! Rep! 

Ones that are fucking respectful of their female counterparts 

talking about their feelings 

kind to their lover without being called a simp 

plus size 

guys being allowed to be gentle and not seen as weak or inferior 

openness rather than being closed off all of the time 

I want to see witty and quirky characters + humor that is shown around EVERYONE

femininity and vulnerability, crying, breakdowns, etc. 

varying sexualities 

real emotion, crying, and for it be okay for them to do that 

treats women like equals without having to be “taught” how to by a love interest 

caring about others without being portrayed as awkward and/or flirtatious 

emotions and kindness

showing emotions that isn’t anger 

not being misogynistic 

smart but not the typical ‘nerdy geek’ just there as an encyclopedia for the MC

Men who are comfortable with being emotionally open (and them being emotionally open DOESN’T automatically mean they’re gay 

emotional maturity and having healthy relationships and behavior 

showing affection to their platonic friends 

respect toward others

male characters that are “motherly” Let them cook, clean, sew, and be good with kids 

male characters who are perceptive and understanding 

male characters with realistic, practical muscles 

wanting hugs and getting giddy over little bits of affection

male characters who wear heels (even if the rest of their outfit is traditionally masculine) 

black male protagonists 

emotional strength instead of physical strength 

males that let the non males take charge and our respectful 

realistic bodies and insecurities 

more males characters exploring their identity 

males who have hobbies, they’re passionate about

physically and mentally strong and resilient. Protective, but respectful and supportive 

not being overtly attractive and being okay with it 

emotionally guarded without being cold or angry 

more sympathy, less naïvety to the female protagonists feelings 

stylish dudes who aren’t gay (not that lgbtq+ rep is bad it’s just a tiring stereotype) 

guys friendships and protectiveness of non love interests 

male characters being feminine without them being queer coded or comic relief

them finding a healthy way to cope with problems 

healthy paternal figures that do not die in the saga please 

big scary guys with hobbies like crochet, sewing and reading books for rescued animals 

soft and loving and caring all the time who cry and are hurt and not badass all the time 

be soft and kind to everyone, not just their bae 

cool mysterious and stuff but not flipping depressed characters please stop that trope

them crying, having close female friends, being lgbt+(especially trans men), showing emotions 

male characters that aren’t possessive/obsessive and know how to accept “no”

raising kids without a love interest involved

societies with men that aren’t stereotypical 

male characters that aren’t naturally good leaders 

a really straight guy having a really gay best friend 

seeing more male characters be comfortable in expressing their feelings and emotions 

[hintsofhoney]

y’all, people aren’t mad at your favorite actor for being straight, they’re mad about him literally lying for clout

and the worst thing is, he didn’t make this “joke” about being gay because he knew it would be a shitty thing for him to do. but bisexuals are fair game because we? don’t really exist? are just confused? are less than the other letters in the acronym? like what age old invalidating argument made this shit okay in his mind?

but that is just where we differ on what happened. i don’t think he got up there and purposefully lied for clout?? think about it?? if that was his intention he would have gotten up there and clearly stated “I am bisexual” instead of a shy little trailed off “I’m all three” that no one in the room caught? and then oh, I don’t know, probably wouldn’t have redacted the statement saying that the last thing he wants to do is to co-opt the struggles of the lgbtq+ community? at worst this was his chronic foot-in-mouth, which we have seen him have before. he’s clumsy with his words and he says the wrong things sometimes and shit — who doesn’t? at best, he wasn’t lying at all and decided to redact his statement either because he was forced to or for reasons regarding safety, or he wasn’t ready yet, etc etc. in which case, he did nothing wrong. bottom line is, we don’t really know, and maybe we never will. but I am not going to sit here and jump to the worst possible conclusion that he did it for clout. clout from who? he is a d-list actor.

people make mistakes. every fucking day. celebrities are people. they make mistakes, too. and I’m not saying to not hold them accountable for those mistakes — absolutely do. absolutely call them out on the things they do wrong. but when they own up to what they do and apologize — that is when it’s okay to show a little grace.

im bisexual. cas helped me find that about myself. misha is the one who helped me accept that about myself. i have the man’s handwriting tattooed on my arm for fuck’s sake. he means a lot to me, both the character he plays and the person he is — but I am not naïve enough to think that he’s never gonna fuck up. yeah, if it was a slip of the tongue, he fucked up. and he apologized. if it wasn’t a slip of the tongue, he’s done nothing wrong.

either way, why are we jumping to the one conclusion that makes him a shitty fucking person? this man has fucked up so many times and every single time he has owned up to it, apologized, and learned from it. every. single. time. you know how many people fuck up, don’t own up to it, don’t apologize, and dont learn from it? a lot more people than those who do. and I think that alone says enough about the person he is. aside from the ally and advocate he has been for the lgbtq+ community, and all the things he has done in that regard, etc, he genuinely makes the effort to learn and do better.

im not saying don’t be upset about the situation. it’s an upsetting situation. im upset about the fucking situation. im not even saying don’t be upset with misha. when someone says something hurtful, even if they didn’t mean it, I understand that it can take some time to fully forgive even after they have apologized. i get it. all I’m asking is that we give him the benefit of the doubt and don’t immediately jump to the one conclusion that makes him an awful person. he has done more than enough through his actions to prove that he is the exact opposite.