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shotorozu · 3 years

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encountering a ‘pick me’ girl

character(s) : kirishima eijirou, todoroki shouto, bakugou katsuki (bnha)

warning : PICK ME GIRL, misogyny (?) pick me girl makes an off handed comment about your body but it’s not detailed at all

PART TWO — PART THREE

legend : [Y/N = your name] afab! reader, but they/them pronouns used, quirk not mentioned

headcanon type : fluff, angst if you squint

note(s) : i made 2 versions of this post so,, if you’re reading this— then i probably decided that i liked this one more than the other one i made,, anyways, i used real life examples 💀

»»————-　♡　————-««

kirishima eijirou

i’d imagine that eijirou would have an idea of what a pick me girl is— i mean, there were probably 2 of those girls in middle school

but has he experienced it first hand? nahh.

though, eijirou didn’t think he’d encounter one when he was already in a healthy and committed relationship!

eijirou is practically friends with everyone— and yeah, even the most unexpected. so, he’s bound to accidentally befriend a pick me girl

him, being the nicest one out of all of the characters in this list, will still be nice to said pick me girl, despite wanting to snob them to the core

because really— you can’t really fight fire with fire in some cases

but, he can be everything but lenient when the pick me girl starts insulting you for doing certain things, and for absurd reasons too

like,, how you laugh, and how you take care of yourself (for example— if you wear makeup, or how you style your hair)

which is odd! everything about you is everything but the things the pick me girl has stated so.. he cannot stand by.

SCENARIO

the girl giggles to herself after that snide comment leaves her lip gloss coated lips. eijirou shifts uncomfortably— honestly taken aback by the anything but subtle insult that was thrown at you

“like.. seriously! it’s honestly quite superficial if you look at it like that. who the hell would put that much effort infront of your boyfriend? i’d assume they’d see everything AND everything but.. i guess not.”

you blink. superficial? now that’s a new one. the girl infront of you has been babbling insults sugarcoated in boasts the entire time, and you’re just wondering if it’s about time you guys leave but—

“well that’s unfair,” your boyfriend laughs, “i put the same amount of effort as this cutie right here,” eijirou pokes at your cheek, earning a quick laugh from you— which he can only thank the heavens for that

“but that’s different. it actually looks put together when you’re doing it, eiji.” the certain glint in her smile makes you want to wipe it right off with a dirty mop, “it’s impossible to look put together with expensive clothes, but being built like a—”

the sound of the sliding of a chair is quicker than your actions, and it easily cuts her off.

“i’m sorry, but we gotta go, it’s totally not cool of you to say those things about Y/N!”

“what? but i mean.. it’s true, right? i’m looking out for them! they’re literally out here l—”

“bye!” eijirou waves her goodbye with your hand, dismissing the sour expression on her face— as he dashes off with you

you’d question how he’s just so nice to people like that, but when he turns around, you could see the distaste in his eyes

“so that’s what a pick me girl’s like,” shaking his head, his expression lights up with such a quick manner “i’ll never make friends that are like that again!”

safe to say, eijirou’s friend list has been a a person shorter ever since that incident

bakugou katsuki

oh, so that girl’s bold bold.

if she thinks she could get away with being a not so subtle pick me girl infront of bakugou katsuki, then she couldn’t be more wrong.

it’s absolutely revolting— i mean, he hasn’t displayed any romantic feelings towards ANYONE that isn’t you.

also, they’re quite gutsy if you ask me. so congrats for having guts??

i don’t think he’d be friends with a pick me girl. he’s very selective of who he’s befriending, so it’s probably your friend that’s the pick me girl in this case

he wouldn’t know what a pick me girl would be, but he’d probably know the description of one.

over some time, he’d grow some resistance to insults directed at him, but when someone insults his s/o

oh boy. that’s not good. remember when i said that katsuki was almost like your scary and intimidating dog

this is what i mean

knows he can’t make a scene, so his first option is to be dismissive asf— but if said pick me girl literally can’t get it, he won’t be afraid of shoving some explosions into her face

because his hands are rated e for everyone

SCENARIO

“so you wanna be picked or something, is that it?” he hates how you literally have the resistance of a rock— which is something he always liked, but in this case hated. if it weren’t for you— he would’ve blasted explosions into her sorry excuse of a face until it’s beyond recognition (that wouldn’t be hero like, is what you’ve said in the past, but he disagrees.)

but seriously? ugh. he just wants to leave this horrid place, and make some dinner with you in the comfort of his home. why are you even friends with her anyway? she’s not even trying to be slick at this point.

“p-picked? i’m not understanding, katsu.”

“it’s bakugou.”

“right,” her laughter is like nails on chalkboard, “i’m just watching out for Y/N, y’know? there’s no point in wearing all of that.. on their face.” and she’s obviously referring to your obviously very well done makeup

“it’ll make your skin terrible in the long run! and really— i couldn’t really understand on why someone would wear that much, when you could survive with i dunno.. lip gloss at most?”

you would’ve actually said something as a rebuttal, but your boyfriend is quicker, and a lot more direct than anyone else in the area.

“just say you can’t do makeup and fucking scram,” katsuki’s ice cold glare finally breaks out of the act he’s been trying to hold together for you

“their makeup is fucking bomb as hell, compared to your ridiculous spider lashes, lady. come back when you’ve watched james charles’ entire fucking channel.” he harshly states in similar bakugou fashion, despite the lack of screaming.

and if you squinted hard enough, you could see tears welling up in her eyes. but katsuki tugs your hand before anything else could be said

“let’s fucking go, you need better friends.”

he makes you cut ties with all of them, and he practically scolds your terrible choice of friends— but he goes quiet when you tell him that you’ve been friends with her since middle school

“good fucking riddance. next time, i’ll punch them as soon as they say something outta line, got that?” and next time (hopefully, there won’t be a next time) you’ll actually lash out— or maybe,, you’ll let him loose for once.

todoroki shouto

now shouto might be,, socially unaware sometimes. but he can tell whenever someone’s trying to insult his s/o

like,, right away.

now— you both run into this person after a pleasant date, and she eagerly presented herself as your friend

so, her attitude catches him off guard because who’d have anything rude to say about you and towards shouto’s face? especially when it’s about something normal.

like,, wasn’t she your friend?? why is she even like this?

his hostility is very well known, so they should be scared.

he gets detached from the conversation, and he’ll immediately go cold— and shouto would probably go as far as walking away with your hand in his

doesn’t matter if he properly says goodbye or not— if a girl’s being rude to his s/o, they obviously don’t deserve his usually polite attitude. nope, that’s a luxury.

oh— and what more when they’re seeking for his validation. newsflash! said pick me girl won’t be get any from him.

SCENARIO

shouto couldn’t stop the bitterness bleeding into his mouth, when the girl in front of him continued to babble and take up the valuable time he had left with his s/o

initially, she presented herself as your friend from middle school— but as of now? she seems to be more interested in him more than you, despite knowing you first.

she’d ask him a string of obvious questions with very obvious answers, like ‘is she treating you well?’ ‘is she acting correctly?’ and questions of the sort

“oh, sorry! i’d hate to cut this conversation short, but—” you finally decide that it was about time to leave, while shouto looks pretty,, deadpanned right now, you could tell that he was gradually starting to get irritated by your friend’s words.

“wait. thats.. kind of controlling, don’t you think? do you ever let shou make decisions?”

“uh.. controlling? since when??” you question at the accusation. this girl knows nothing about your relationship dynamic, and she’s already jumping the gun and making conclusions.

your gaze snaps back to shouto, who looks just as surprised as he could possibly be.

“yeah! it clearly looks like he still wants to talk” which is an obvious lie, shouto just wants it out of here “i wonder how you managed to snag such a guy like him,” she comments with a smile that looked anything above suspicion (yet, it makes your stomach churn)

you could see the way her hand gets gradually closer to him— and frankly, you’re not sure about what she was planning to do next, “you wouldn’t need to dress all expensive and fancy, if you’re with a girl with an already classy appear—”

“i think this conversation is over,” shouto grip is firm on the wrist that was attempting to grab his shoulder, shouto makes no attempt to even look at the girl infront of him “i don’t know what you’re trying to do, but it’s not humorous. at all.”

“what?” she stammers, drawing her hand back “i-it’s obvious they don’t know how to take a joke! this is why there are barely any good w—”

shouto’s next actions knocks her speechless, his hand rests at the small of your back, before gently guiding you forward— “love, what movie are we watching later?” he says, making an effort to press a quick, yet intense kiss on your lips

“oh,” you breathe out, surprised by this action. “don’t be so tense, love.” shouto comments on how tense your shoulders have looked, ever since she started running her mouth, “now.. what movie do you want to watch tonight? comedy? thriller?”

“you pick,” you laugh at the quick shift of topic. and when you look behind you, you could see shame and defeat welling up on her face. shouto finally feels like he could smile again, the bitterness dissipating from his mouth

after shouto questions you if that was what a pick me girl was, he makes sure that you guys won’t ever encounter such thing again

“you.. don’t have more friends like that, right? if you do— we could always do another friend list cleansing.” this statement makes you laugh but shouto is anything but joking

but being reminded of his reaction to that ‘pick me’ girl does puts a smile on your face.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

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seiyasabi · 3 years

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The Scientist

(Hange (Hanji) can rearrange by guts tbh :P Lol, anyways, this is a Yandere Hanji x Female Reader story! It takes place in current time tho (same universe as Yelena). Also, idgaf how tall the creator says Hanji is. In this fic, even the tall girlies get to be shorter than Hanji.

TW: kidnapping!, !drugging!, unwanted advances, stalking!, etc!

Please proceed with caution! Also, I’m sorry if you can tell that this was in my drafts for a hot min. I started to write this when I first started this blog, and I just finished/revised it lol. )

“Hey, (Nickname!” Hearing the loud shout of a certain brunet, you jump about a foot in the air. As usual, Hanji decides to surprise you whilst you’re in the middle of something.

Pulling away from the microscope you’re currently looking at, you put on a strained smile, “Yes?”

Their one eye sparkles in a hopeful fashion from behind their glasses, one of her their fiddling with their eyepatch, “Sooo,” They draw out the o, seemingly trying to disarm you, “Are you free this weekend? There’s this suuuuper cool bar that’s just opening, and me and the others are thinking about going! It’s totally not a date or anything,” They pause to let out a loud laugh, “I think it’ll be fun! What D'ya say?”

Forcing out a chuckle, you shake your head, “Ah, I’m sorry, Hanji, but I’m busy this weekend. I have a lot of samples I need to process for that upcoming court case,” You chew your bottom lip nervously, “I’m sorry. I hope you and the others have a good time, though!”

A new voice is heard, butting into your conversation, “I can do those! I’ve been needing more hours, anyways,” Whipping your head in the direction of the voice, you silently curse. Fuck Armin for being so helpful!

Hanji beams even brighter than before, clapping their hands together happily, “See! Armin can do that for you!” They lean in closer to you, their lab coat brushing against yours, “Come on, (Nickname), I’d be reaaaaally happy if you go!”

An uneasy feeling pools in your gut, as an anxious sweat begins to bead at your brow, “I-uhm-I suppose I can go for an hour or two.”

“Great!” They grab your hands in theirs, squeezing them in a friendly manner, “The bar is called ‘Titan’s Wrath,’ and we’re meeting at eight on Saturday!” Releasing you, they pat you on the back, “See you later!” They run off, most likely back to the dry lab.

After a moment of silence, you slowly turn towards the short haired blond man, “Armin, I’m going to kill you.”

He blanches at your blunt tone, flushing a bright red, “Wha-what?”

You grit your teeth, tears starting to bead your eyes in frustration, “They’re the person I was telling you about! Hanji constantly harasses me, and you practically just tossed me into their arms! Why would you do that?”

A look of pure terror and remorse appears of his face, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t realise that they were the person-oh my God, I’m so stupid. I-I really didn’t know! I’m so, so sorry!” You let out a quivering breath, hands clenched into fists to calm you down.

“It-it’s alright. I never really told you who they were. Just never do that again, okay? If you need more hours, just tell me, and I’ll see what I can do,” The younger man sighs in relief, shoulders deflating.

“I promise to never do that again!” You nod, blinking away your unshed tears, and smile at him.

“Okay, then we don’t have any problems,” You laugh lightly, shaking your head, “Who would’ve thought our newest intern was the dry lab’s wing man?” He panics again, making you cackle good-naturedly, “Now, can you please grab the dilluter? I forgot to grab it from the fridge.”

Hanji, being the ever cheerful person that they are, set their sights on you the moment you were hired.

But, if they came out with their feelings immediately, you’d just assume that they wanted to take advantage of you.

So, they watched you. Writing down your likes and dislikes, your quirks, everything. Through their ‘research,’ they came to realise that you’re very good at your job. The wet-lab should be lucky that they have you… but they never give you the recognition you deserve!

They bombard you with assignments, become upset when you don’t finish them in seconds (which is so unreasonable!), and hardly give you any time off!

You don’t seem to mind, being the good girl you are, but Hanji sure does!

So, they’d seek out the top graduates from the college nearby, and help them become employed at the lab. The newbies really helped get the load off of your shoulders, and once done, they decided to swoop in now that you had a decent amount of free time.

It started at the vending machine- they’d asked you if you wanted to get coffee with them sometime. You said no, probably because you felt it wasn’t professional. After all, rumours would spread like wildfire if you went out with the lead lab tech of the dry lab!

So, everytime they knew you had a weekend off, they’d approach you with new places to try.

Be it a movie, a store, a concert- it didn’t matter. They just desperately wanted to have some time with you!

But, you reacted the complete opposite of how you were supposed to.

You’d pick up as many shifts as possible, most times going into over time, just to avoid the flamboyant lead. Whenever you saw them in the hall or by the break room, you’d turn in the complete opposite direction. If wet-lab needed to correspond with the dry-lab, you’d send your most qualified coworker to do so.

It was saddening, to be honest. They love you so much, yet you refuse to even face them.

But, thanks to that Armin kid, their plans can finally bloom into fruition. For once, you can’t escape the brunet’s advances!

Because of that, Hanji made a note to the owner of the lab that Armin would make a good contribution to the lab after he gets all of his qualifications.

Saturday night comes far too soon.

Dressed in black skinny jeans and a cropped, white long sleeve, you stand in front of ‘Titans Wrath.’ Scoffing at how the bar sounds like a metal band, you make your way inside.

Grabbing the door handle, you yank it open, immediately hearing loud rock music. Mentally patting yourself on the back for your observation, you step inside of the cool building.

Looking inside, you see a large, double sided bar in the middle of the room, a stage and standing area just behind it. There are a few pool tables in the front area where you’re standing, along with double doors leading to a hidden kitchen.

There’s also a lot of people inside. You can’t see Hanji or their friends, but seeing a band setting up on the stage tells you that they’re probably on the other side of the bar.

Walking over to the steps leading down into the stage area, you try to ignore the leers of a few men around you. Maybe you shouldn’t have worn clothes that accentuate your beautiful figure. Peering around the corner, you see the scientist and their friends, an empty seat in between them and a large blond man, that you vaguely recall being the police chief of your city.

Strolling towards them halfheartedly, you give yourself a small peptalk inside of your mind. Sure, Hanji has always been touchy-feely with you, sure, they’ve asked you out about one hundred times, sure, you run into them every time you leave the house, sure-

“(Nickname)! You actually came!” The brunet’s voice is loud, loud enough to cut through the loud music and equally loud chatter. Forcing a smile onto your face, you give a small wave, suddenly uncomfortable with the line of strangers at the bar suddenly looking at you.

“Yes, hello, Hanji,” When you’re close enough, you’re thrown into a tight embrace, their body practically molding into your own. They’re about a head taller than you, making it so your head is practically forced against their protruding collarbones. Hesitating slightly, you give them a soft pat on the back, trying to escape their suffocating embrace.

“I’m so glad you came!” They release you just as suddenly as they grabbed you, putting a hand on the small of your back, and practically forcing you in between the blond man and themself, “(Nickname), this is Erwin. Erwin, this is (First Name).”

His blue eyes rake over your appearance, recognition appearing on his face, “It’s nice to see you again, Ms. (Last Name), especially under better circumstances.”

You nod, thinking back on some high profile cases you met with him for, “Yes, it’s nice to see you again, Mr. Smith.”

A loud scoff is heard from beside Erwin, the head of a short, dark haired man peeks around the broad chested man, “It’s about time you brought a respectful brat,” You have to stop yourself from flinching at his harsh tone, “I am Levi,” Opening your mouth to introduce yourself, he holds up a hand, halting you, “There’s no need for introductions, Shitty-glasses has gushed about the ‘pretty wet-lab scientist’ for months now.”

“Oh, alright. It’s nice to meet you,” His lifts his whiskey on rocks in acknowledgement, before downing it with one swig.

“Likewise,” After that, he turns towards a light brown haired woman, her high pitched voice is heard from where you’re sitting.

“I’m sorry about that. The detective is very… unsociable.”

“It’s alright, Mr. Smith. He kind of reminds me of one of my interns, Annie,” You say with a small smile, before your swiveling bar stool is forced around so you’re facing Hanji.

“Sooo, you like the bar so far?” Their smile is somewhat pleading, and you can’t help but just go along with them.

“Yes, this place is, um, cool. Very interesting choice,” They clasp their hands together with a pleased expression, as they somehow move closer to you than they already are. At this point, you’re worried that they’ll fall off their stool.

“Right? Our residential emo boy found it, and we’ve been hooked ever since,” A loud ‘Shut up, Shitty-glasses,’ is heard from behind you, making the brunet laugh, “Let me order you a drink! I think there’s something that you’ll really like!”

Opening your mouth to reject, it was seemingly too late, because the brunet has already waved over a punk-ed out bartender. You didn’t really hear what the drink is called, but the man sets to work immediately.

It barely takes a minute for it to be finished, and the purple drink is suddenly in front of your motionless form. Looking up, the purple haired man winks at you, before turning his attention back to a speaking Hanji.

“Anything she orders, put it on my tab,” He nods, before walking off to service another customer.

Turning your attention back to Hanji, you try to persuade them to let you pay, “Thanks, Hanji, but it’s alright. I can pay for my own drinks-”

“Don’t worry about it; I asked you out, remember? And it’s the least I can do for harassing you for the past few months,” Startled by their uncharacteristically somber words, you nod in understanding.

“Alright. Thank you,” They nod, before motioning towards your drink.

“Try it! I’m sure you’ll like it!” Grabbing the cool glass cup, you bring it up to your lips, and take a small sip. It’s amazing. It tastes like (favourite flavour), and it goes down smooth.

“You’re right, this is delicious!” They grin brightly, clapping their hands together in glee.

“Great!” They motion towards the stage with their head, “The show’s about to start! Are you ready for a kickass night?” You laugh at their vigour, and nod.

“You bet!”

Maybe tonight won’t be so bad after all.

You spoke too soon.

It seems like you’ve drank too much, because you’re now feeling dizzy. Throughout the set, you’d ordered about five more drinks, and they seemingly hit you all at once.

Hanji, who’s been watching you since your fourth drink, feigns shock at your unstable form. That Rohypnol they grabbed from work works quite well! Now they can see why it’s the choice drug for those awful, awful people.

“Whoa there, (Nickname), it seems you’ve had too much to drink!” Hanji jokes, hands holding you steady on your bar stool. The only person from your group still at the bar is Erwin, but he knows they have it under control. As chief of police, he feels a bit of remorse, but he knows it's for the best. Hanji will take care of you, because, after all, you’re their only true obsession.

“Wha-huh? Was’ happenin?” Hanji can all but coo at how cute you are.

“Don’t worry, cutie. I’ll get you home safe,” Helping you to your boot clad feet, they send a knowing look to Erwin, who smiles in return. Wrapping an arm around your waist, they help you stumble out of the bar, and walk towards their car. Once at the passenger side, the brunet unlocks the door, and assists you inside. You flop onto their leather interior, eyes unfocused, and body movements random. Chuckling to themself, they buckle you in, not before pulling on gloves, and taking your phone, keys, and wallet off of you.

Taking these items, they empty your wallet of its cash, and chuck everything into a nearby bush. Knowing that the cameras outside the building and the buildings surrounding the place are off, they feel at ease. If anything, they feel like your knight in shining armour. If they hadn’t taken you, someone else would’ve-you’re just too cute.

Closing your door, and rounding the car, they slide into the driver’s side, before starting the car. Buckling themself in, they look at your out-of-it form, and smile.

#yandere hange #hange zoe #yandere hange zoe #yandere aot #yandere aot x reader #hange x reader #hange supremacy #yandere attack on titan #attack on titan x reader

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thunderheadfred · 3 years

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🐈‍Aizawa HC’s🐈‍

I dunno if people will care for this; I suspect my HC's for Aizawa are a little off the fandom norm. Still. I tried. Things get approximately NSFW under the cut. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

He has like, one discernible change of clothes per season. There is no distinction between hero outfit, casual wear, and pajamas. That fabric used to be black. It is now an exhausted shade of ‘please stop washing me.’ If you suggest that he buy new clothes, he will stare you down like you have three heads, and none of those heads have a brain.

This man does not spend money. He has a mind-blowing amount of savings, but no one will ever know until he dies and wills it all to a random animal shelter in the middle of nowhere. Has a secret scholarship fund for UA students. Again, this is completely anonymous. Only the principal knows.

He's a startlingly competent sketch artist. Nothing fancy, and he never took an art class in his life, but his quirk innately lends itself to spacial reasoning and feature recognition. He has sketch books brimming with sloppy but pin-point accurate life drawings. He can capture your soul in three strokes of a dried-up ballpoint pen. It's eerie.

Given his schedule, you’d expect him to prioritze convenience first, but junk food makes him cross-eyed. His body is a temple and he eats like a fucking monk.

He’s a wine snob. Well, a liquor snob generally. He knows the name of every regional sake-maker in Japan, and can tell you exactly which bottle is the best, down the the month of production. Assumes everyone possesses such laser-focused knowledge.

Tea drinker. Yeah, he has encyclopedic knowledge about that too. Apparently everything this man drinks comes with a bibliography.

Technically he’s supposed to live in the UA dorms part of the time. He sleeps poorly there, and goes home whenever he has the opportunity.

His house is old, but not valuable. Probably inherited. Traditional style with very few modern updates. He keeps it meticulously clean and does repairs as needed, but the age is still obvious. Everything creaks. You swear the place is haunted but won’t dare admit it aloud - he WILL laugh you out of the house.

There’s a garden but he doesn’t have time to keep it up. He has a lot of memories of the plants in full bloom. Letting it go to seed upsets him more than he lets on.

He has zero personal possessions aside from household appliances, which he meticulously researches and keeps in perfect condition.

Reads an insane amount of books. These mostly come from the library. There’s always a stack near his bed. You have no idea how he finishes them, because every time you see him with a book, he’s asleep with it on his face.

He doesn’t adopt cats so much as just leaves his doors open and lets them freely colonize the place. It’s not his house, it’s theirs. Somehow there's not a single cat hair on anything.

Most of these cats are cuddly little angels; you've never met nicer. But there’s a few beasts in the mix, with battle scars and three legs and a craving for human meat; these are Aizawa’s special favorites.

- - - - -

Dating

Falls for you when he stumbles across you taking care of one of the hideous strays he usually feeds on his route. Doesn’t approach you at first (definitely tries to hide) but the cat is like "mrrr?" and brings you over to him, giving the game away. Traitor.

Will make you pay for your half of everything, down to the last yen. So what if you’ve been together for ten years? You have your own income.

One exception to the above: he’ll never buy you presents but he WILL treat you to lavish meals in dark restaurants with hand-written menus. Don’t mistake this for romance, he just likes the quiet atmosphere and excellent service.

He cleans every day; there’s an unwritten five-dimensional schedule and that schedule is EXACT. Zero time wasted. He’ll never actually ask you to help with any of it. He’ll never directly thank you, either. But if you learn how to take over certain chores and do the daily upkeep while he’s away, he’ll love you forever.

Not the type to talk about his day; he’d rather sit with you outside. He values silence. Not because he doesn’t want to talk to you, but a lot of the time he doesn’t have the energy to give you his full conversational attention. Physical contact is easier, and more comforting besides. Just... hold his hand a while.

His scalp gets tingly and sore from overusing his quirk. If you run your fingers through his hair he will pass out instantly.

He will cozy trap you. He’s touch-starved and was definitely a cat in a past life. Will hang all over you if you don't give him enough attention and constantly falls sleep in your lap. Hope you don’t need to get up anytime soon; he’s not moving.

You don’t exactly ‘move in’ with him. He never wants to spend a night without you, but his living space is already exactly how he likes it. He will never move out of that old house, but he’ll give you some rooms to yourself. Your stuff and his... complete absence of stuff... stay pretty much separate. Do NOT clutter up the bedroom.

The kitchen is the exception. That's a warm and cozy shared spot, the heart of the home. You’ll always be stepping around a cat.

He LOVES when you cook for him (so that he doesn't have to take the time). Will shower you with praise and encourage you to make huge earthenware vats of old-timey tsukemono that the two of you cannot possibly eat by yourselves. He’ll help with food prep and knows his way around, but he insists you’re the better cook (even if you aren’t).

Big on actions over words. Makes an effort to be present with you as much as he can.

Will stare into your eyes until you look away. When you look back, he's still staring with a rare warm smile on his face.

God, he loves you. You will never, ever know how much. He doesn't tell you often, but he shows you every day.

- - - - -

Somnophilia???.........

ACE ACE ACE ACE

This man is A-fucking-sexual. He’s not sex repulsed in any way, he’s just not personally invested.

Aromantic too. Deadass doesn’t get the hype. You are the most important person in his life and he’s deeply commited to and comforted by you. Just don’t expect to be seduced; it will literally never happen.

If you are allosexual, he will still be devoted to your sexual well-being. At first, that means buying you a DELUXE toy and encouraging you to use it on your own.

His voice is too damn sexy, even when he isn’t trying. He’ll give you all the phone sex you want; he thinks it’s sweet how you unravel for him. Edging you for ages is a fun little power play, but he’s definitely grading papers while he does it. Don’t be offended. Toshinori has overheard some THINGS.

When your relationship gets sufficiently serious, he’ll help out with his hands. He’s VERY SKILLED AT IT. He likes to lay down next to you and whisper encouragement in your ear. Eventually he gets possessive about your orgasms, and will make you ask for permission.

Sometimes the stars align, but his arousal is a rare bird. He'll take a whole afternoon to prepare. It’s love-making, full stop. Always slow and intensely emotional. He'll cherish every inch of you but might not cum at all; you can’t force it.

#aizawa shouta #aizawa sensei #aizawa x reader #aizawa x you #aizawa x y/n #gender neutral #aizawa headcanons #bnha #mha #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #fred writes

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phantom-of-the-501st · 3 years

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Random thought dump on Arthur (ft. Dutch and Hosea's parenting):

From the beginning it is clear that Dutch and Hosea have played a large part in Arthur's personality. Obviously, they both raised him, so it's to be expected. But there's a large difference in how their "parenting" has altered Arthur's mentality.

Towards the end, Arthur begins looking at Dutch's plans more realistically. He has always shown scepticism every now and then, but most of the time took Dutch's word and would follow him. But in later chapters he does begin to point out the flaws and starts to weigh the pros and cons of each plan. Is it possible? What's the risk of injury or worse? And ultimately, is the outcome worth it? I believe that a lot of this has come from Hosea. Even Dutch says that he sounds like Hosea and I think that while he always had this thought process within him internally, he never really leant into it because Hosea was always the one there to express them verbally. He had subconsciously picked up Hosea's reasoning but hadn't seen any need for it up until this point (or just chose to ignore it). He never wanted to be the one to criticise Dutch if he didn't have to.

And I think a lot of that is down to Dutch's parenting (or lack thereof). Yes, he taught Arthur to read/write, but he treats Arthur more like an object than Hosea ever did. Arthur is praised by Dutch for the outcome of his missions. If Arthur successfully collects money for the camp, then that's when he gets Dutch's praise. And I'm sure this was the case when Arthur was younger as well. But Arthur begins to base his own value on how much he contributes to the camp (I can picture a young Arthur feeling dejected because Dutch has criticised him for a mission that wasn't a "success"). Hosea was always one to tell him to look after himself, but Dutch would only tell him to treat himself if he did something well. And that's part of why Arthur's self-esteem is so low.

Let's be real, Arthur's self-esteem is through the FLOOR. The bar is so low you can't even limbo under it. And it's because Dutch's "parenting" has caused Arthur to base his worth on contributions alone. And Arthur is so critical of himself over whether or not he pleased DUTCH. Not himself. He has no pride for himself. He just wants recognition from a guy who saved him, even if the man doesn't appreciate him for who he actually is.

But it can't all be attributed to Dutch. Some of it's just down to Arthur's lifestyle. He's an outlaw. In the eyes of the world, outlaws aren't good people. It doesn't matter what struggles they went through to get there, they are not people doing everything they can to survive, they are just bad. And Arthur views himself like that. He doesn't even entertain the idea that he could be a good person and because of that, he doesn't act on it.

In the beginning, Arthur can be quite harsh and admittedly just a bit of an a-hole. And that's because he has no self-worth. If he isn't a good person, why act like one? In his mind, he isn't good because of the life he's led.

But it's such a ridiculous thought! The gang itself is the perfect example of how lifestyle does not always determine personality.

You have Micah, who is just the worst person alive and has no redeemable qualities. But on the opposite side you have Charles. Also an outlaw. Has also killed people. But is undoubtedly a good person through and through.

And Charles is one of the ones that tries to draw the good side out of Arthur.

"You ain't as tough and dense as all that"

He knows that there's a good side in Arthur that the man is just refusing to see. And Mary-Beth does it as well. Through little chats at camp she tells Arthur that he is a good person and that just killing people is not like him.

And sadly Arthur doesn't see it till it's a little too late.

But there's one thing that I noticed in Arthur that I didn't notice before. At the beginning, it was always about success or failure. That's something that was probably instilled in him from Dutch. But by the end, not so much.

He begins to open up to his good side. Helps the Wapiti tribe, absolves people's debt and helps John live the life that Arthur never had the chance to.

"in the end... I tried... I did"

He accepts that he didn't "win". But he acknowledges that he tried. And honestly, I think that that is, in part, Arthur finally come to peace with the fact that you are not a failure if things don't go to plan. In the end, sometimes trying is all you can do. And it took so long to reach there because Dutch made him feel like a failure when things went wrong.

(Also, Mary leaving him and the deaths of Eliza and Isaac wouldn't have helped either, but this post is already so long that my brain is starting to stop working).

I don't know if any of these thoughts are actually that coherent, or if it totally makes sense, but I just needed to dump them somewhere and Tumblr seemed good enough.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #dutch van der linde #hosea matthews #micah bell #charles smith #hosea is a good dad #dutch is not #arthur is a soft boah #he just didn't realise it #because dutch is a crap parent

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

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Jung Kook: “I think we’d better not ever stop”

We asked Jung Kook to draw anything he wanted for the photoshoot. The photos featured in this article are snapshots while Jung Kook was at work. Even when the photoshoot was finished, he left the studio only when he completed his drawing.

“Butter” has been at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart for six weeks straight. (This interview took place on July 12) Jung Kook: I was never attached to rankings, but as good as it is and as happy as I am since we’ve kept setting records since “Dynamite,” it also feels like a burden.

Is it because you’ve been successful beyond anything you could’ve imagined? Jung Kook: Sort of. A huge number of people have given me recognition, so I’ve been going along thinking I have to work harder, but we did even better with “Butter” than with “Dynamite,” so I think I ended up feeling weighed down. That’s what I’m like. BTS is an amazing team, but maybe my problem is that I’m not able to keep up with BTS.

You were the one to set the mood for “Butter” by singing the intro to the song. Didn’t that make you feel good? You were definitely as amazing as the team itself. (laughs) Jung Kook: “Butter” just feels so good. It’s different from our usual style, so it felt different while recording. The song’s great, too. I love that, but it’s separate from that feeling of pressure. I mean, I hope BTS does even better, honestly. Lately I’ve been thinking that that pressure means I need to do better. After “Dynamite” became number one on the Billboard Hot 100, it’s not like we’re being forced to try harder; it’s just my personal ambition. I think I can do better.

Why do you think “Dynamite” wasn’t as satisfying? Jung Kook: Because I couldn’t express everything I wanted the way I wanted to. When I listen to the remixes, I think about how I could’ve sung it differently. Like, “Aw, man! If only I could do it again!” (laughs) I got some things from singing “Dynamite,” like, I’m not quite there yet. So I try to practice singing at least an hour every day, no matter what. Any singer who’s been at number one on Billboard for six weeks had better be really good at singing. That’s what I think.

Something about the way you sang in English probably made you hear your own singing in a new light. Your tone is different from when you sing in Korean. Jung Kook: Sometimes you have to bear down a little on your words to talk in Korean. Plus I’m from Busan, so I speak in a little bit of a low voice. I don’t have that when I use English, though, so it’s like there’s pros and cons. It’s easy to use your head voice when you sing in English as well, but it can be uncomfortable, while in Korean, if you try to sing higher using your head voice, it can sound a bit nasally sometimes. But at the same time, it can be hard to break old habits when I sing in English since I’ve always been singing in Korean.

“Dynamite,” “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” are all English songs and you were in charge of the introduction for all three. It seems like you put some thought into how to create different impressions for each song. Jung Kook: “Butter’s” really bouncy, as you know. It’s a little deep, it’s got a driving beat, it’s rhythmical. And before I record, I listen to a recording with guide vocals, and then when I go to record, I have to keep all these characteristics in mind and mix them together with my own style properly in this subtle way. I think it’s seriously an intuition. (laughs) I had a hard time when we were recording, obviously, and when I first did it, my voice didn’t sound right, so I had to keep looking for the right voice. I think the most important thing is to really nail the voice you want to use first, and so is figuring out how to make it your own. In “Permission to Dance,” for instance, I sang it more the way I wanted than the style the guide vocals had.

How do you come to that kind of conclusion? Jung Kook: Everyone’s voice has to sound different, so it can be overpowering if I copy the guide too much when I sing. So sometimes I follow what I’m thinking of exclusively. I was thinking about how I should sing the first part of “Permission to Dance,” and when I went to record it, even Pdogg, the producer, told me, “It’ll work best if you go with your own voice, your own style.”

What effect does listening to so many other artists’ songs and analyzing them have on you? Jung Kook: The more I listen to music, the more my vocals change. It really changes a lot when we get a song and listen to it and practice it. I guess you could say my vocal cords are always readying themselves for improvement when I practice. (laughs) And improving while I record, and just improving any time I sing. But there’s also times when it suddenly doesn’t sound right when I try it the way I want, so I just give it a try, or I quickly look up other vocalists and listen to their songs or ask some of the older artists. Doing that helps me find a certain voice I’m looking for.

You sang uncannily similar to SUGA when you briefly sang his part in “Life Goes On” over V LIVE, even though your voices are different. You’re quick at picking up on the characteristics of others’ vocals. Jung Kook: I used to rely on that a lot. Like, I can hear [the characteristics in their voices] at least. (laughs) Now, though, it’s like, Oh, [I] guess I shouldn’t do it that way. You can safely assume I’ve heard a countless number of other singers’ songs. Then I would think a lot about how I want to sing, thinking how those other singers would sing, before making my own voice. I carry over those people’s voices and vocal patterns and think about how it would sound if they sang in this room, then I think about how it would sound in my own voice, and then sometimes I can make my voice sound similar if I try to.

It seems like it was important for you to find your own style for the performances as well. Not only were the three English songs different from your earlier work, but there were also a lot of parts in “Butter” that you could only perform through gestures and facial expressions. Jung Kook: Before “Butter,” I just worked really hard, and had fun doing it, in whatever way I wanted but starting with “Butter” I think I managed to do things in a more thought-out way. I was more attentive to my facial expressions and movements and thought through what I should do in each situation in each performance to do it in my own style. And it was kind of a fun process. I don’t feel any pressure about that; I just thought I can create that kind of image if I just try to be a little cool and not cringey (laugh) for people from now on.

What image do you want people to have of you, as an artist? One that says, This is who I am as an artist right now. Jung Kook: I don’t think I’m at the level where I need to worry about that yet. I have a general idea about what kind of singer I want to be and what I want to be really good at, but I don’t think I’ve ever imagined defining myself as a certain type of singer yet. Because it’s an ongoing process, when I can prove myself, then, bam!—I give proof and become a truly influential person, only then can I go around saying, This is the kind of singer I am. For now, I don’t have anything, I guess you could say, “substantial” to show off. I think, Even if I’m part of BTS and tour stadiums, does that automatically make me better than other artists? And then, by thinking so, I center myself again.

Couldn’t you be a little softer on yourself? Jung Kook: No. I have to think about the future many times throughout the day. For example, sometimes I spend a whole day doing whatever, but whenever I do, I regret it severely. So I promise myself that I’ll get this and that done. That’s how I live, because if I don’t think that way, I won’t jump into action to get anything done. It’s like the title of our song, “Life Goes On”: the treadmill just keeps on going, and we’re on it, so I always think, I’d better not ever stop. I can express myself better if I think while I talk, and I can organize my thoughts while reflecting back on what I said. I try to think about everything in that way. I think I need to improve, whether it’s at singing or my hobbies—more than now, better than now.

Are you doing particularly well with any of your hobbies these days? It seems like you got a little better at painting, judging by your vlog. Jung Kook: I think I’m getting better overall, little by little. My vocals are where I’ve definitely improved lately. And bowling! (laughs) I learn how to paint by watching videos on YouTube. I think I’m good at picking up skills by emulating others. I’m actually not good at learning things. (laughs) I just like to do what I like to do and I naturally learn from the people around me, I guess. And I think the things I really want to learn are still the same: singing, English, exercise.

Learning from other people and wanting to do better is a form of recognizing who you can compare yourself against. Are you at all influenced by the other members? You’ve talked a lot about how much you’ve been influenced by the six older members. Jung Kook: I think I started paying attention to people other than myself after I moved to Seoul and met the other members. I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings, but I do notice them now. It’s like I really started to see myself for who I am from that point on.

That makes me think of when you talked about seeing the sights in Seoul for the first time on tvN’s You Quiz on the Block, the way you got to know the feelings the outside world can give. Jung Kook: The first time I saw the streets of Seoul, they were enormous. I was really worried, since I’d just come to Seoul, and I got to know myself because of the change of environment. I think it was the very first time for me to think for myself, and it became the starting point for me to get to know myself.

When you took some candy you liked from the BTS pop-up store, j-hope said you were still the same from when you first met when you were 13 years old. Do you think you haven’t changed at all compared to back then? Jung Kook: In some way I must be better or different on the outside, but I’m sure there’s still things about me that are the same as when I was 13. I learned how to be considerate towards the other members and how to understand them because I fought with them occasionally, but nobody’s going to stop me if I take candy. I take it like I always did. Like when Hobi and I fought over a single banana. (laughs)

But what’s changed about you, then? Being a member of BTS must have had an effect on your view of the world. You sought understanding from your vegetarian viewers when you were eating meat in a salad on V LIVE before. Jung Kook: I thought to ask because I know that many people abroad, and in Korea, too, are vegetarians. It’s one of the things you learn when you tour around many different countries. Obviously I don’t know about every single country’s culture or personal identities or choices, so even though I have a long way to go, I think it’s important to respect them based on what I do know.

I think you must know that you’ve had an influence on a lot of people. Partway into your V LIVE, you talked about how you couldn’t find any of the kombucha you drank before anymore because it was all sold out and you thanked your fans for giving a little help to small business owners. Jung Kook: Restaurants aren’t doing well and there’s a lot of closed-up shops in the markets now, as you know. So if I’ve had an effect on even one person, it’s been worthwhile. And sometimes the people I’ve had an influence on go on to make donations, too. There could always be someone who takes advantage of the things I say or do, but I’m confident a lot of people will use them for good.

This influence is something you’ve crafted with your fandom, ARMY. I imagine you’ve been influenced not only by the other members but also by ARMY since you were young. Jung Kook: There’s a lot going on inside a concert venue: the lighting, the stage, the floor, the stage design, the video projected on the screen. Plus there’s the music, the dancing, and us. Even if they’re all in balance, ARMY has to be there to complete the scene. When it comes to our concerts, ARMY are the ones who bought the tickets and they’re the main characters. I think everything we focus on comes back down to ARMY. We share in each other’s feelings and they’re the source of our strength, and I think they have synergy with us. It’s not enough to just say ARMY and us like each other, or that we love each other. There’s definitely more to it than that. It’s, well—I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words. (laughs)

I think you need ARMY to be there at the concert for you to fully realize the concert you’re aiming for. Jung Kook: Yes, exactly! Even if everything’s set up and we’re in front of the camera, if ARMY’s not there, it’s a completely different concert. Even when ARMY’s there and there’s a live camera broadcasting it, I’m like, There’s a camera? Sure. Obviously I care about it when I have to say hello to ARMY sitting on the other side, in front of their screens. Other than that, I get all my energy from all the ARMY sitting right in front of me. That’s how much they mean to me. It’s completely different.

The concept for BTS 2021 MUSTER SOWOOJOO was similar to being in concert with an audience. It must’ve made you think of ARMY even more. Jung Kook: I’m seriously good as long as I can perform. I can put on more and more concerts in the space of a year if we’re touring. I felt it more profoundly this time since we couldn’t perform with an audience. Wow, I really took things for granted all this time. I should’ve done more.

You must be disappointed. It’s your time to shine as a vocalist and as a performer. Jung Kook: (sighs) I, well, I really need to hurry up and make a mixtape, first of all. (laughs)

How’s your mixtape going? Jung Kook: I was working on it just before I came. But it’s hard! (laughs) I could just make it about myself, and then it would be like, I started as a trainee when I was 13, I worked hard, and found success. But anyone could do that. So I keep thinking I want to make up my own original, complex story and write the songs from there. Billie Eilish’s debut album left a big mark on me when it came out, in that respect. And it’d be nice to have a cohesive flow to the tracklist, but even if it’s all jumbled up, that’s fine, too, as long the good songs keep on coming. That’s sort of what I’m thinking. So these days, rather than focusing on the album’s story as a whole, I’m just going to write whatever it is I want to say in each song. If I get that feeling right after listening to a track, I’ll try and make it. And I’m going to try to make it a little bit light-hearted.

It can’t be easy for you to concentrate on it if you’re making it here and there between all your other work. Jung Kook: It’s fine if it takes a really long time—it’s just hard to work on it in pieces. I mean, if I stay up late working away at it, it’s hard to get through the next day. (laughs) I stayed up all night again last night and slept between appointments today, but I’m still going to keep working like this today and then go work on my mixtape again anyway. I’ll do my best to release it as soon as possible. I want to write and record a lot of material.

s there anything about yourself, other than your work or concerts, that you want to show to ARMY as an individual? Jung Kook: I want to show them, that, umm … Just my real self, Jeon Jung Gook. That I’m fairly easy-going, very honest, and nothing special.

What kind of person do you think you are now? Jung Kook: I’m, I’m a, lazy … person. (laughs).

You’re being very hard on yourself. (laughs) How could you be lazy if you’re a part of BTS? Jung Kook: No, I really am lazy. (laughs) If I were alone I’d probably miss a lot of my appointments. (laughs) But I have to avoid making any mistakes when we function as a group. I’m really lazy, and—oh, I overthink things sometimes. I think more than people might expect, and I do things my way. Plus, even though I don’t care what other people think of me, I kind of still do. (laughs) I have no idea. I’m sort of goofy—? But I’m also trying to live a full life—I’m that kind of person. (laughs).

Thank you for the interview. Oh, by the way, I liked your “Butter” fan cam. Your moves were really agile. Jung Kook: Really? Do you think I’ve gotten better? (laughs).

#bangtan #jungkook #m:weverse magazine #210726

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iloveitwhen · 3 years

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jasonette but like siblings but like angst- like that whole trope where they are blood related and got separated, or they didnt get separated idk thats cool too i just want some sibling jasonette😅

Wow. ok. uhmmmm. this is a lot i think?? I got a little jk a lot carried away and this past week was super busy so i’ll finish the second part later??

Again... a lot...

Jason is walking home after another night at the bar when he sees a small woman, teenager? Slip into a dark alleyway and two men follow in after her a few moments later.

Jason curses and bolts across the street, what was this girl thinking? How stupid do you have to be to go into a dark alley where no one will hear you or care to help?

He jumps into the alley to find one man already slumped on himself on the floor and the other getting kicked in the teeth by army boots then falling limply.

Jason curses again, impressed this time. He scans over the men noting that they probably had pretty good concussions judging from the dent in the garbage can the first man was laying next to and the way the second guy’s head smacked onto the concrete when he fell. He lands his eyes back on the woman, no, definitely a teenager, with a smile on his face that instantly falters. The girl is in a fighting stance and waiting for him to attack so he quickly raises his hands to placate her.

“I’m not here to fight you, I saw you get followed and I was coming to help.”

“Nobody helps in Gotham,” she states, a dangerous edge to her voice that held a carefully hidden accent.

“Not from around here, are you?”

The girl narrows her eyes, “I was born and raised here, take a step further and you won’t be waking up tomorrow.”

Jason pockets his hands and smirks. He likes her, she’s a fighter, she reminds him of himself when he was younger.

“Ok. Just make sure you make it home safe. A girl’s going to get some unwanted attention at a time and place like this.” He turns around and crosses the street but as soon as he’s out of her sight he turns back and hides in the shadows to track her and make sure no one else tries to catch her alone. Just because she could handle herself the first time doesn’t mean she’s necessarily safe from the next attempt.

The girl exits the alley and starts toward the direction of Jason’s apartment calmly as if she didn’t just get attacked. At least that means less walking for him. After a few minutes she slips into another dark alley, of course she does, and Jason crosses the street again going into his own empty alley before pulling his helmet on and scaling the building. As he peers over the side of the building his helmet scans the area giving him feedback he would normally miss due to the horrible lighting and telling him that the alley was empty. He figured she had somehow gotten into one of the buildings and decided to go home by rooftops since he was already up there.

However, as he landed on the opposite rooftop his feet slipped from underneath him. Jason managed to roll out of it but before he could get his footing his hip was kicked into and he stumbled, tripped over a seemingly perfectly placed rock and smashed his head on the side of the stair house. Then, just as quickly as this all transpired, there was a body behind him, they hooked their fingers under his helmet and lifted it to expose his neck and press a knife with jagged points onto his neck. How did he know the knife had jagged points? Good question, it was, as previously mentioned, against his neck and piercing into his skin, drawing blood.

“Why are you following me?” a girl’s voice filters through his mask and he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. His mask let him know through the constant visuals that the voice belonged to a female in their late teens, not that he didn’t already know that.

“Making sure you got home safe,” he says carefully, weighing his options and trying to decide if he should let her feel like she got him or escape with a slight nick on his neck.

Eh. Jason preferred to not have a bleeding neck no matter how small the cut.

“Lies,” she hisses, digging the knife a bit deeper as a warning, maybe getting out sooner was a better idea. “What do you want?”

“Knife off my throat first,” he manages without pushing his neck further onto the blade.

A second later the girl releases him and jumps back with enough space between them to react if he ended up deciding to attack her.

Jason gives her a quick glance as he stands up, a hand to his throat to check for blood.

“I wasn’t lying-”

“You’re not fooling anyone you Red Hood wannabe,” she snaps. Jason just laughs in surprise, no one has ever accused him of being a Red Hood wannabe. He's the one who made the mantle into something to respect, something to fear. He stops laughing and levels a glare at the girl, his helmet telling him unhelpfully there was no match of facial recognition in any database.

“I am Red Hood-” he started to growl out but she cut him off again. The audacity.

“Red Hood wouldn’t have been caught by the person he was trailing, Red Hood wouldn’t have been caught off guard, Red Hood doesn’t have a stupid streak of white hair on his head. He may have been a theatre nerd but he wouldn’t do that.”

Wait what.

“What are you talking about?” But it was more of a demand than a question.

“You’re not…” she trailed off waving her hand in the air trying to find a word, “slick. Same jacket, same shoes, same build, yeah. You’re not fooling anyone.”

“Ok. Whatever, I’m going home.” He turns and starts jogging across the rooftop towards home. So much for helping out.

“Where is he?” she calls out after him.

“Right here, princess,” he spat before jumping to the other rooftop.

But as soon as his feet leave the building a big dark blue warbly hole appears and swallows him before he can react. Unfortunately for him the other side of that weird black hole was a face full of concrete.

“Prove you’re him.”

Oh this girl was something else. Jason shakes his disorientation away, he didn’t know how she did that, nor did he care but he was pissed. He swings his foot around and connects with her ankle, she falls as expected but easily bounces right back up and hops out of his range.

“Do that again and I’ll have to break my no killing kids rule,” he growls out, staring her down for a moment. Her face was finally lit by the dim yellow street lamps and he could see the entirety of her face and all the raw emotions she was trying to hide. For a split second familiarity passed through him, like when you see someone at the library then at the store a few weeks later or you see an old school friend ten years later and can’t quite place them. Jason dismisses the feeling and turns to go.

“Wait.” She says it so vulnerably that Jason gives her a chance, when he turns she pulls up her sleeve and shows off her forearm.

In the center of her arm is a faded black tattoo that was a writing symbol, but because of its name and one of its uses it was used to brand child soldiers in Gotham from a particular gang that Red Hood obliterated as soon as his first order of business in Gotham.

‡

It was the double dagger, or better known in Gotham as the death dagger. The children were expendable although highly trained and dangerous, they could give Damian a run for his money in the child assassin department. The tattoo was a reminder to the children and to the people they came across that they were soulless, emotionless, their lives and actions were not their own and they would give their lives willingly for the mission

Meaning who they were before was dead. No family, no connections, no one would notice if they went missing and no one would be able to identify their bodies if and when the time came. Sometimes poor families would sell one of their children and promise to forget them and to never contact them.

Jason was led to assume that this was another child soldier looking to thank him, or kill him. It was 50/50 these days, some of those kids just never recovered.

“So what is it that you want? You want my autograph across your head?” Jason asks dryly.

The girl just huffs and pulls her sleeve back down.

“I want to know if my brother is underneath that mask.”

I want to know if my brother is underneath that mask.

The words struck Jason deep in his chest but it only fueled his anger. He didn’t know why that hit so deep but he was not in the mood for this nor would he be at any time.

“Just because I ended that gang doesn’t mean we’re family. Go find your other assassin siblings to play house with.”

“Annette,” she calls after as he turns his back again. A strike of familiarity pulses through him and when he hesitates she continues, “that was my name before I was initiated. I was one of the first. Daddy’s little girl,” she was still talking louder than necessary since he hadn’t turned back around. “I’m the only one left from The 13.”

Right. The 13. That’s what everyone called the first batch even as they were killed off, they were the most ruthless being the oldest and were also the most aggressive in proving their worth. It was common to find a number from 1-13 placed strategically behind at the crime scene, whoever had the most successful missions would be highly rewarded, or so he was told.

“Do you remember?”

“I remember destroying that gang and their stupid leader and having to kill some of your little friends and I also remember The 13 died within the first year and a half and were easily replaced by their younger friends.”

“Do you remember me?”

“Look, kid,” he finally turns to look at her, “I don’t care, ok? Yay whoopdeedoo I saved you, get in line. It’s what I do, kill bad people and let the rest walk away. You’re not special.”

“Annette Marie Todd,” she says hurriedly, like it’s a last resort. “Jason Peter Todd,” she continues, “just you. Me. And a blitzed out Mom.”

Jason did not like this, he knew the Dagger Children were ruthless and expert manipulators but this was pushing it. He spun around to face her, ripping off his helmet, she already knew what he looked like and it was in the way of his death glare.

“You don’t know who you are messing with. If you really were a Dagger you’d know that I am not one to be fucked with.” He slides his helmet back on and without a backward glance he runs off to the next roof and continues home. Thankfully not another portal thing opens up in front of him.

———————————

Jason didn’t have a sister. He did not have a sister. He would remember having a sister. He would remember having a Dagger for a sister. But Annette was such a familiar name. And she had said her name was Annette Marie Todd. Todd.

No that’s stupid. Impossible. She was just messing with him, for all he knew she could have been subtly showing her face in random places for him to react to the familiarity of her face and she could have said the name sometime in the last few months for him to vaguely recognize the sound of her name but not place it.

But the Lazarus pit did alter his memories from childhood, it was like looking through a fog of red anger, or maybe it was always like that even before the pit, and it also completely wiped out other parts of his memory. But a sister? No. No way.

Hours of this, circling around the possibilities and shifting around on his bed trying to get comfortable until he finally drifted off in a very restless sleep.

Jason found himself in a familiar apartment, the one he lived in before his “mother” died. He looked around and it was more of the feeling of familiarity that convinced him where he was than anything else. He steps aside for a younger version of himself to run by him and turns to the window that led out to the fire escape and watches him climb out of it and close the window. Jason turns back around to see what Young Jason was hiding from. A man hands a thick envelope to his mother, Catherine Todd who had wrapped herself in a thin silk robe, her bony frame visible as well as her happy focus on the money inside that envelope. Jason couldn’t make out the man’s face but he turned around and grabbed the small hand of a little girl in pigtails. She turned her head and faced the window sending a smile but he couldn’t quite make out her face so he instead turned to himself sitting outside.

As he turned his surroundings changed but in his dreamstate he paid no mind to it. This time he was standing in an aisle of a store as a child. He looked around and found his mother dressed embarrassingly in a thin tank top and ragged jeans and flip flops. He feels a squeeze of his hand and looks down, his little sister is looking up at him and pointing to a rack of stuffed animals of Clifford the Big Red Dog that were suddenly there. He sends her a smile and looks up, intent on catching up with his mother and asking her to buy one but as he chases her his intent slips from his mind and instead he wants to taste the cupcakes he just saw. He opens a case and takes a bite but yelling makes him turn around and there is Batman towering over him. Instead of a tasty cupcake he is holding something thick and metal, a crowbar. He throws it at the man and turns to run away and jumps out of the parking garage and jumps into the air flying up. But he’s too slow, he tries kicking and swimming in the air to propel himself further away from Batman but a hand wraps around his foot.

Jason jerks awake, breathing heavy and feeling uncomfortably hot. This was much more mild than his usual nightmares, if it could even be called a nightmare, but it was bad in a different way. It wasn’t unusual for Jason to be getting chased in his dreams by one thing or another and it always ended before whatever or whoever was chasing him got him but it was getting a little old honestly.

His head was pounding so he slipped out of bed and poured himself a glass of water from the kitchen. As he takes a sip he recalls his dream and how he had looked down at his sister. But that couldn’t be right.

A searing pain in his head forces him to tighten his grip on his cup before it goes away again. Stupid head. Stupid dream. Stupid girl trying to get in his head.

As he lays back down a memory of clear grey eyes flashes across his mind’s eye.

---

Throughout the next few days Jason tries to ignore the headaches and his dreams of the young black haired girl with grey eyes and of getting chased which was more frequent and more urgent than he remembered them being. It was just all a big waste of time. At least the Dagger girl wasn’t trying to find him anymore, he didn’t know how he would react if she showed up again.

After another dream of getting chased, this time he was just so tired of it he got a few good punches in on the Bane/Joker demon that was chasing him when his phone buzzes, startling him awake. He ignores it in favor of a cup of coffee and checks the time on the oven that he never uses, it’s almost two o’clock.

His phone buzzes again several more times in quick succession. He finally heads over and clicks his phone on to see five messages from Stephanie.

Replacement’s replacement🤰

so u have a little sister and u never told me???

anyways shes at the big house and getting interrogated by bruce and i think hes ready to adopt her

hello

so rude

i mean it looks to me shes tellin the truth but like seems sus for obvious reasons and ur the only one that'll actually know so… hurry up??

Jason curses and rushes to grab his things before running outside and zooming to the Wayne Manor on his motorcycle.

welp i’ll add with another part soon that i havent finished yet but anywho let me know if jason is too ooc or something😁😁

#sibling jasonette #maribat #this is real late #sorry about it #is it angsty??#im not that great at angst #also tumblr was not letting me use the cool version of that symbol #just rude #btw I edited this feb.23 just so you know but not very big changes #i dont know if you care or not

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why-this-kolaveri-machi · 3 years

Text

it’s a fucking metaphor!

Titans 3.08

i’ve finally gathered the mental and emotional resources to do this thing, so let’s go! as always, i’m typing this up as i see the episode.

SPOILERS AHEAD

1. on watching this opening scene, i was thinking back to how gar was in s1, or even the early bits of s2. the way he idolised the others, particularly dick, and his readiness to go along with whatever they said, and the way he practically bled the need for acceptance. and here he is now, openly defying dick, fully open to and aware of the flaws of the people he loves and admires, knowing he is accepted no matter what and extending that generosity elsewhere. it’s a remarkable bit of character growth that’s... sort of blossomed in the background and so rewarding to see and acknowledge.

1.25. i guess what i really love about this conflict over how to respond to jason--as clumsily as it is sometimes written--is how their histories and individual traumas inform each character’s reaction. dick is torn between his guilt over what’s become of jason and his drive to do what batman had essentially given up on doing: he is motivated to track down red hood at all costs but there’s a sense that he’s not completely sold on the idea that the only way to stop him is to kill him. (he might go the comics route and try to put him in arkham? god, imagine if the season ended with jason in arkham.) kory’s never had much of a connection with jason in the first place, and jason has done one of the worst things he could do in her book: track and kill a member of her newfound family and is threatening to kill more.

and gar... sure. look. the idea of jason and red hood as separate entities appeals to him; that red hood emerged when jason was drugged to the gills by scarecrow and lost his usual inhibitions. gar’s struggled with what he becomes when he’s pushed to his limits, too--he did rip open that experimenting scientist with his teeth way back in 1.07, after all, and he was brainwashed by cadmus in s2 into becoming a literal monster. he needs to think, to know, there’s a dichotomy, a line that can only be crossed under extreme duress or by outside influence.

and he says--and we say--that he was accepted back into the titans in spite of what he’d done, but was he really? gar’s always struggled with his footing in this group; relegated to the caretaker, the tech guy, the gatekeeper, and sometimes punching bag even though everybody’s paying lip service to how much of a family they all are. perhaps gar reaching out to jason and offering acceptance is aspirational on his part: perhaps this is the effort he hoped the titans put/or will put into getting gar back, even when it would seem like he’s too far gone.

1.5. anyway my point is that i don’t think it’s worth discussing this in terms of right/wrong decisions because all of their reactions make a lot of sense given their backgrounds/personalities. gar is doing a fine job here of tracking down jason’s friends and trying to find him that way, but we the audience know that jason is ultimately going to end up an anti-hero/eventually-hero character, so with that knowledge in mind we know that gar’s reaction is the right one. it’s knowledge that the other characters don’t have, so to judge them on it is... uh, unfair.

1.8. also, molly is awesome, yay!

2. dick and barbara flirting over the phone is so cute! i love to see this side of dick: lighter, peppier, willing (even if somewhat reluctantly) to put his mission aside to go out on a date with his girlfriend. and i love how easy this makes his dynamic with kory too: it’s all very domestic and utterly delightful.

(also, re: the water leak in barbara’s office--you’re saying GCPD could afford fancy-schmancy table-wide touch screen computers and evil-lair lighting but needs its frickin’ commissioner to catch leaking water from above her desk with mugs and fishbowls????)

2.2225. this is probably a teeny tiny thing and i’m not sure i want to bring it up at all BUT. the fact that dick feels compelled to lie to barbara about not liking fancy gala food and eating something more substantial before the date? not a terribly great sign, though i wouldn’t call it a red flag per se.

“this from a man who forced his students to eat cauliflower crust pizza...”

3. so.... conner and kom are a Thing. huh.

in theory i really like the idea of them bonding over an innate alien-ness and longing for a place they could really belong. both of them are alien twice-over: conner a mix of kryptonian and human, practically generated in a test tube, and kom being somebody that was born different and rejected by her own people, now stuck on a planet dominated by an entirely different species. i even like them exploring this bond physically. i guess it’s the sense of... uneasiness around what we do and don’t know about kom that makes this scene land slightly left of centre to me. i think titans, especially through s2, has cultivated in its audience a sense of distrust even until the final episode, just in case somebody vital to the season is suddenly revealed to have had ulterior motives (i’m even low-key suspicious of leslie). i really want to see this kom-conner dynamic play out but the anticipation of watching the other shoe drop is sucking out the enjoyment.

4. for fuck’s sake dick, gar’s not your gatekeeper.

TIIIIIIIIMMMMM \O/

4.5. i love this nod to tim’s origins in the comics, the way he just comes in and lays out all his evidence and makes it clear to dick that he needs tim’s help as robin. the fact that he was there at the flying graysons’ last performance, he was obsessed with their acrobatic moves, and was observant enough to connect those moves with that of robin and later nightwing... all of this came together to put him where he is right now.

(i also love how he can’t contain his giddy excitement when talking about the day dick grayson’s parents died... to dick grayson. even if dick weren’t nightwing, that would be a deeply uncomfortable thing! yet tim can’t help himself, and i love him for it.)

4.8. it’s a testament to how much dick’s caught off-guard that he can’t come up with a better response to tim’s allegations other than “uh... he stole my moves! as you know, no two gymnasts in the world are allowed to do the same moves. now, let me escort you out while pretending poorly that i’m not at all shaken by this...”

4.9. i’ve talked about this before, but i find the logic around secret identities in this universe utterly fascinating. the titans don’t make much effort in keeping their identities secret: everybody seems to know that kory is starfire for instance, or that gar is beast boy. dick grayson is seen hanging out with kory a lot, especially at crime scenes. it won’t take a lot of sleuthing to find out that the titans are currently camped out at wayne manor, and to put two and two together.

my theory was that superheroes and villains have become such an integral part of daily society that it’s almost not worth it to seek out their secret identities, or that it’s just not a big deal anymore. like politicians or diplomats, not everybody bothers to look into who exactly their local politician is, but the people who know just... know. it’s a sort of unspoken social contract.

tim’s broken this contract by confronting dick about his identity, and dick’s not ready to deal with it. not entirely.

look at him! *pinches his cheeks*

5. ngl, it was quite satisfying to see jason knock the scarecrow out like that.

5.5. i guess... the question of jason’s culpability is always going to be a thorny one and would make for a great courtroom drama spinoff. there are a number of factors to consider: jason’s personality, the rough circumstances under which he grew up, his undoubtedly stressful transition to being robin, bruce wayne being... well, bruce wayne, never feeling accepted by the titans and having most of them turn on him, being roundly defeated and almost killed by deathstroke, alfred’s death, a fuckload of ptsd, his violent death, crane’s manipulations, coming back to life, crane plying him with a drug. but there is no easy line to draw between any of these factors to his actions. i think it would be a disservice to jason’s character to attribute his actions entirely to these things and rather irresponsible to do so. i think jason has to reckon with the fact that when he took crane’s drug, he wasn’t reckless and chaotic like the thugs he gave it to; the planning that went into hank’s death was meticulous and the way hank died--dawn essentially tricked into pulling the trigger that blew her lover into bits--is so drawn out and cruel.

5.75. it’s occurring to me that crane might have given jason a placebo. maybe jason’s dependence is psychological, and he’s externalised his fears in such a way that he believes crane’s drugs literally wipe them out, however temporarily.

in any case, the boy needs (more) therapy.

6. “he walked like robin...” fuck, tim

“gait recognition sweep” god, this show. i don’t know whether to laugh or cry. hey, once we’re done doing this gait recognition thingy, can we get a goddamn plumber in the house??? or move the commissioner’s desk so that sewage water isn’t dripping on her head or the million dollar touchscreen desk???????

6.5. oh no dick!!!!!! i am delighted that you got hurt but i feel ashamed about it! that looked like it really hurt!

he’s really not having a good time of it, is he. from being shot by a sniper to slamming at full speed into an suv, he’s got to be really fucking battered by now. and that’s just the physical side of it.

“can you believe that just over a week ago i was sitting in san francisco eating cauliflower crust pizza and feeling good about myself for the first time in five years...”

7. kory’s having visions again! now that she’s figured what they are, do you think the show’s just dropped justin? it’s curious that HPG hasn’t been brought up in a while after featuring relatively heavily in the beginning. hmmm.

8. dick’s in hospital but... he looks remarkably whole for someone who took a spill like that. you’d think he’d at least have a bruise to show for it. on the other hand, i love that the first thing he says is ‘i need to call home’. reminds me of season 1 dick and his clumsy attempts to explain away his found family as an ‘alliance of necessity’ or some bullshit. what a long way he’s come!

*gasp* dick’s hallucinating again!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m doing the dick’s hallucinating dance! can you believe that we’re carrying over these huge honking issues unearthed in season 2 onto season 3? can you believe?!!! all that time and effort i spent talking about dick’s mental health from last season has not gone in vain!!

... ahem. anyway. more on this later.

“hold on barbara, i think kory gave me the number to this therapist that she kept calling Hot Psychiatrist Guy...”

9. just an interlude to say that i’m barely halfway through the episode and i’ve already written 2k+ words... ugh. i’m going to try and be more concise.

10. man i fuckin love it when titans goes all out with its weird mindscapes and i’m extra glad that kory’s the focus this time. is that baby kom or maybe a secret sibling that neither of them knew about? was that lady luand’r? and is this place where kory was circling where the secret sibling is? it’s all very intriguing.

(if justin turned out to be that sibling... we’ve a real luke/leia situation on our hands.)

11. aw, i knew that nice security guard was going to die, but it still hurt to see him go :(

12. this show is so bizarre. like i get the mindscape as a narrative device, but jason using sex workers to try and vocalise his guilt about killing hank was just weird. like. i have to use tamil, sorry: idhulaan yaaru pa room pottu yosikara??? some things just can’t be translated into a second language.

i guess one way to interpret jason’s reckoning with what he did to the titans as a sign of him coming off crane’s drug, but i think it’s more to do with the disillusionment of realising that he was a mere pawn in a more sinister plan, and not, as he thought, a player in control of his destiny, rising to the purpose of liberating gotham of its fears in a way batman never could. along the way, he’s done some truly irreversible damage. it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

13. another hallucination! it’s really intriguing that it’s a young dick(?), younger than we’ve ever seen him, wearing an early-era robin costume from way before he even became robin. (this is also interesting in that it gives credence to the idea that ‘robin’ is an identity that dick created entirely on his own, and as a possible homage to his family.)

“old road, old house... it’s all gone.” i wonder what it all means.

13.5. it’s entirely likely dick’s hallucinating because of a brain injury from the accident, though just hallucinations without any other focal neurological deficit is unusual. he might’ve been microdosed with fear toxin at some point, though i wonder when... did jason do so after dick’s accident? did he get dosed at the factory from last episode?

it’s also possible it’s a continuing manifestation of dick’s issues from last season--which, if you remember, he never told anyone about and therefore never properly addressed. maybe he was hallucinating bruce wayne in a psychotic episode accompanying an acute stress reaction and maybe that’s what’s happening now. nobody’s denying that he’s under an extraordinary amount of stress right now. another way to look at it is that this is how he externalises conflict that he can’t bear to suppress anymore; if in s2 halluci!bruce manifested his insecurities and self-loathing, then these hallucinations... something to do with his fears, no doubt.

yet ANOTHER way to look at it might be: rachel is reaching out to him through their, well, psychic bond. after all, they were able to use that bond unconsciously last season to get the titans back together; maybe rachel has learned to gain a degree of control over it in themyscira and is sending across warnings? it’s all very intriguing.

anyway:

“i hear you skipped over the discowing suit in your evolution to nightwing... how could you??”

14. can you imagine, gar did all the work of reaching out to jason via molly and jason wants to meet dick? smh.

14.5. “i’m just a regular guy doing regular things” he says, standing at the opening of a secret old tunnel, like a secret person doing secret things, confronting someone who can now officially be called his stalker. neither of you guys are ‘regular’

14.8. ‘my dad was a cop and he taught me how to investigate’ - hmmm. i guess they’re trying to Explain Tim but i don’t think that’s really necessary. so he’s smart and he’s obsessed with batman and robin--that should be enough, imo.

15. that scene with scarecrow and his mother was... wow. i’m just laughing here helplessly, because what the hell? for a while i thought it was an extended dream sequence and i’m still not entirely sure that it isn’t...

anyway. i still love that titans is happy to throw out its plot in favour of extended character-exploration sessions.

15.5. it seems to me that this scene with crane and his mother (i have no idea if there’s anything in the comics similar to this) serves to move forward this season’s theme of harmful legacies and how parents can damage their children in the name of their mission. in a way it’s been the underlying message of the entire show but we’re really seeing it being reinforced this season. the titans, serving as a foil to scarecrow, are using the damage to rebuild themselves and actually work through their issues together, instead of spiralling further and further into the morass of their issues.

other than that... god, that scene was painful to watch. i can’t say i like this version of scarecrow or how this actor plays him at all.

16. i wonder what’s jason’s play here. i think he’s smart enough to realise that the titans aren’t going to just forgive him and let him be a titan again after what he did, and that dick agreeing to it is just a bid to pin both him and crane down. maybe it’s a ploy to trap them, get back on scarecrow’s good books so that he can have the drug again. who knows.

17. i absolutely felt dick when he said “we’ll bring him in and then re-assess the situation.” what the fuck else is he going to say? the priority is to get him.

so kory and dick are both hallucinating while potentially trying to rehabilitate their murderous siblings. CONFIDE IN EACH OTHER ALREADY

18. TIM NOOOO! you beautiful, reckless fool!

18.25. just to quickly address it here because i know it’s been brought up before: i think it’s perfectly justified to not have conner take tim to the hospital via superspeed because a) i don’t think we’ve seen conner do that with anybody so far and b) it’s probably not a good idea to submit tim’s body to that kind of stress without knowing what it would do to him. the paramedics with actual equipment and experience would be there in a few minutes, so on a risk assessment, i would say dick and conner absolutely made the right call.

18.5. i guess we won’t know what jason really intended to when the titans came to the pump to see him, but this is definitely going to set a big wedge in his relationship with crane. then again, crane got what he wanted--using starfire’s powers to blast through to the underground pipes--so jason can argue that this is exactly what he was working towards, too.

anyway, mortal peril, hallucinations, murderous family members, creepy visions and robins sprouting left and right. time to get rachel and donna on the scene, i think.

#titans #titans spoilers #meta #garfield logan #dick grayson #koriand'r #jason todd #tim drake #jonathan crane #conner kent #komand'r #aaaaah this is 3k+#*collapses in a heap*

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neuxue · 3 years

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With the Asmodean issue, I don't think RJ was ever going with redemption for him. He's a fairly contemptible person, even if you can empathize with his struggles and fears during his captivity under Rand. We have Ingtar & Verin for the redemption stories. We even get in Asmodean's head to see he is uninterested in redemption. He even considers whether or not his balefire non-death constitutes a second chance... and rejects the idea. The god of evil is still his "Great Lord".

I don’t think RJ was going with redemption either, otherwise he’d have done it - he’s the author, after all. My frustration with Asmodean’s death is more that it feels like (and this is 100% speculation on my part, obviously) it was a kind of... a way to avoid having to address that question within the narrative. And sure, that’s his prerogative as the author, but as a reader I wish we could have explored that more.

Yes, we have Ingtar and Verin, but again I personally wish we had more than just that (also I’d argue that Verin's isn’t a redemption, per se, so much as a recognition / realisation / reveal of a type that often gets grouped in with the umbrella category of ‘redemption arcs’ in a way that... is probably the topic of another essay entirely) And we do get to see a fair bit of exploration of grey areas from the ‘how far is too far’ angle with many of the main cast, including Rand. But for a story that explicitly contains the statement “No man can walk so long in the Shadow that he cannot come again to the light,” it doesn’t actually spend that much time or focus on that side of it.

But mainly I want to talk a bit about the rest of this ask - namely, the idea of Asmodean being a ‘contemptible person’ and ‘uninterested in redemption’.

Firstly, in order for an arc to be a redemption, the character by definition has to have done some contemptible things. Otherwise it’s not redemption, it’s some other form of growth or realisation or acceptance. And yeah, that means redemption arcs aren’t going to be for everyone, whether in general or specific, because we all draw our lines in different places and/or enjoy different things. Which is fine! But I always find it a bit... baffling, honestly, when this concept of ‘does this character deserve redemption’ comes up, because taken to its conclusion it feels like a bit of a paradox: that if a character needs redemption they don’t deserve it, and if a character deserves redemption they don’t need it. Like, for me so much of the appeal of redemption arcs is the very fact of that starting point deep in villiany or contemptibility or a bloodstained past. It’s the why and how of a character dragging themselves along a path from that starting point.

Which brings me to the ‘uninterested in redemption’ aspect of it, because this is another one I’ve seen tossed around regarding various characters and fandoms: this idea that if a character ‘rejects’ or isn’t immediately interested in the whole concept of redemption when it’s first (explicitly or implicitly) ‘offered’, then they don’t deserve / want / get to have redemption at all. But that’s... not how redemption works; it’s not how growth works.

To put it in a different context: have you ever just felt really, really sad or angry, and rejected some form of comfort (maybe pushed away a friend or family member, or knew that you’d feel better if you went for a walk but didn’t, etc) because in that moment, on some level, you didn’t want to feel better? I think of the rejection-of-redemption as a bit like that.

Sometimes, when you’re so far down a particular path, it’s easier to turn away from the faint glimmer of a distant light, or a hand held out, than it is to take that first step. To say yes, I need to change, or yes, I want to change (or please, help me).

And for a lot of characters that means having to accept that maybe a lot of the things they’ve done were in some way wrong, or purposeless; means looking in the mirror and seeing monstrosity reflected back, and having to figure out how to cope with that... and so it’s easier, much of the time, to turn away from that out of self-preservation. To say I’ve already done this much, so there’s no point stopping now. To say I’m already damned, what’s a little more.

So in that regard... of course Asmodean, noted fatalist, answers his own question of is this a second chance with no. Because in so many ways that’s easier. In so many ways it hurts less. It’s comfortable, in the way sadness is comfortable when you’re already sad. It means he doesn’t have to face the possibility of letting himself try, only to fail. Because he’s already embraced that fatalism, that inevitable fall, and it’s easier to just let gravity take hold than to risk hoping, because there’s no guarantee in hope.

But again, part of the appeal of redemption arcs, at least for me, is that they are hard work. That they involve facing hard truths, and looking past denial and fear, and finding the courage to decide to be better and do better, and the courage to keep making that decision, even when it’s hard, even if they don’t know whether it will ever be ‘enough’, or whether they’ll succeed.

And so the initial ‘rejection’ of redemption is often a part of that story--that, or the stumbles and backsliding along the way--because for a character who has turned away from it at various points, some of the satisfaction in watching comes in that moment when they don’t. When they finally take the hand that’s been held out, or decide at last to turn around. It’s not necessarily a nice, clean, linear path... and that’s so much of what I love about it.

#anyway i have Many Feelings about redemption arcs #...and a fair bit of salt around some fandom takes thereon #tried to keep this minimally salty but you just never know #asks #anon #wheel of time #asmodean #i need a better villains tag

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chamomileteainabuttercup · 3 years

Text

Dincobb Week Day 1 - Clan of Three (SFW)

Welcome to my Dincobb Week fanfic posts! I've written stories and scenes of varying lengths and tones. For clarity I should say that most of these exist as miniature AUs of their own and have no continuity with each other or with anything else I've written about these characters, so in different pieces they may be described having different physical features, personal possessions, preferences, et cetera. (There are three exceptions which I'll note as such when they come out.) Thanks to @djarining, who helped me a lot with brainstorming and discussing my ideas!

For today I have two pieces, an SFW and an NSFW - the NSFW is scheduled to post an hour after this one.

Clan of Three

Every clan, if you think about it, must once have been just two people. A couple, or a parent and a child. A point at which someone stopped being alone, or chose to branch out from their clan of origin, and something new began.

Their situation is not really abnormal, it’s just unfamiliar. And sometimes you’ll be able to identify the moment of change or of beginning, it will be official, with the blessing of a trusted authority… but sometimes one thing will gradually blend into another and you’ll only be able to say that it has changed after it’s well established. You’ll have to recognise it for yourself.

For Din that moment of recognition comes in the middle of… nothing special. It’s a hot afternoon. They’re staying inside where it’s shady and closer to cool. He’s just coming out of the kitchen with the glass of iced tea Cobb asked him for. Cobb is sitting on the floor with Grogu sitting in the nest of his crossed legs, long and bare in the old shorts he changed into after the morning’s work. They have a picture book laid open on the floor in front of them and Cobb is reading to Grogu, changing his voice for the different characters.

“And so the lonely Wookiee growled, ‘Oh no! Oh my! I don’t know what to do!’ and — ow! Hey, you little ratbag.” Grogu’s little clawed hand had been resting on his shin, idly playing with his leg hair, and he just pinched a few strands together and pulled them. Grogu giggles as Cobb growls again, giving his best (very inauthentic but spirited) imitation of a Wookiee, wraps his arms round him and blows a raspberry on top of his head. That makes him squeal and laugh, which gets him another raspberry. “What am I gonna do with you?” Cobb asks. “Anyway,” and he resumes reading the story.

You are as its father. It’s been a long time since then, and he would politely but firmly correct anyone who called Grogu it, but those words set him on this path, and now he knows he’s not on it alone. Just when and how Cobb became a father to Grogu too, he’s unable to say, even as he looks back over the months they’ve lived together. There was no moment of blessing, only patience and kindness and growing trust and reliance. There’s no ritual or ceremony, no symbolic gift to confer membership in the clan. Cobb is part of it already. Din needs to sit down.

He keeps that thought to himself for a while. In a way, he’s treasuring it; but in another way, it troubles or at least puzzles him. He wouldn’t have expected to feel satisfied by something so informal and it seems disloyal not to feel a need to formalise things properly according to creed and tradition. Those things still matter to him, they matter deeply, they’re at the foundation of who he is and tries to be, but perhaps it’s because they don’t apply to Cobb in the same way. Cobb respects his beliefs, no question, and he tries to understand and support them, but Din suspects he’s never going to ask what one needs to do to convert. He looks sometimes at Cobb’s new armour (second-hand gear still, but they’re restoring and improving it together) and thinks about where on it would be a good spot for a mudhorn stencil. Would it be okay to go that far? Informally, but symbolically?

Grogu’s crayon drawings are getting more assured, and he frequently draws the three of them as a group, smiles so wide they come off the sides of their faces (he just draws a smile onto the front of Din’s helmet to make it clear he’s happy). There’s a symbol for you. He used to stick close to Din when they all walked somewhere together, regardless of where Cobb was, but now he always toddles along between them, and he loves if it they each reach down and grab one of his hands and lift him up and give him a swing back and forth. He squeals and giggles — and that’s another thing, since they’ve been living with Cobb he’s noticed more and more laughter from Grogu. He was never really a timid kid, despite everything he’d gone through before Din found him, but he’s become noticeably more confident and exuberant, and Din has to think it’s from having a settled, comfortable home with not one but two people who love him and also love each other. Cobb encourages that side of him; they’ve settled into roles where Din is generally the more calm and gentle parent, Cobb the more playful one. Din is more likely to rock Grogu to sleep; Cobb is more likely to bounce him in the air. When Grogu gets really mischievous and Din is exasperated but still amused, he’ll accuse Cobb of teaching him to be a gremlin, and Cobb will laugh back and say that’s all you can expect from a Tatooine feral.

They’re in bed one very early morning when they both wake to the sound of a thump followed by little scuttling footsteps in the kitchen. Cobb groans quietly and snuggles up to Din’s back as they both listen drowsily for any sounds of disaster demanding action. There’s a wooden clatter — that sounded like the broomstick falling over. Then a strange sound kind of like rain that has Din baffled until he starts to suspect it’s dry spaghetti falling on a tiled floor.

“Your son’s getting into some shit,” Cobb mumbles.

Din thinks about how comfortable he is right now and how dark it still is outside. He’s a dutiful parent, but he’s human, and he’s not in this alone any more. “Before sunrise,” he mumbles back, “he’s your son.”

There’s a moment’s quiet, and he wonders if he overstepped by saying that. In the kitchen, there’s a sound he’d tentatively identify as an egg breaking on the floor. Cobb grumbles and puts a kiss on his shoulder, and whispers, “I want your clean-out-the-fridge fried rice for dinner.” Then he rolls over, gets out of bed and shuffles off, bare feet whispering on the floor. Din rolls on his back, stretches out his legs, and listens for the sounds of two of his clan of three.

#dincobweek2021 #dincobweek #dincobb week #clan of three #fanfiction #sfw

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andreafmn · 3 years

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Running In Circles - Chapter 4

Word Count: 3,783

Characters: Female Reader Rossi Character, Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid, Jennifer “JJ”Jareau, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia

Story Description: (Y/N) Rossi is following in her father’s footsteps by joining the BAU team as a profiler. The girl genius knew almost everything but she could have never predicted falling for Aaron Hotchner, her boss and her father’s friend. in their world mutual feelings are not enough to push them together. Will all the adversities and obstacles they face pull them together or push them apart forever?

*DISCLAIMER* I do not own in any way Criminal Minds, all credits of the pre-established characters, script, and storyline belong to Jeff Davis and CBS Network. The only thing I own is Arden Rossi, any upcoming characters, and her storyline, as well as her effects in the others’ story line.

Chapter: 4/?

A/N: These next chapters are really just gonna be the necessary episode that contributes to the character's storyline. I'll try my best to compress them into fewer chapters but some I do need for my storyline. If you enjoy my writing I’ll also be posting them in AO3 and Wattpad along with other stories (I also hope to start taking requests if ya’ll want) Hope you enjoy and all constructive criticism is encouraged.

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Chapter 4

It’s funny how life moves so quickly, but agonizingly slow at the same time.

We had been on the hunt for the prince of darkness after he resurfaced 26 years after what we thought was his last crime in California. He had been across the 48 continuous states, leaving his mark of crimes all over the map. Initially, we were confused as to why he would reappear in Los Angeles if he never hit the same city twice until we noticed a pattern. Billy Flynn was recreating his original murders to taunt Matt Spicer, a survivor, and tell him he’d be going after Spicer’s family because he wanted recognition for the murder that had made Spicer a “city hero”, he wanted to be part of the story. They were horrible and vile crimes one after the other and we were working nonstop to catch him. The case took a turn when we found out he was going after Ellie and Kristin Spicer, Matt’s daughter, and sister, respectively.

The case took a turn when we sent Spicer and Morgan to retrieve the family thinking Flynn was going to take them from Matt’s house. But it was too late, he had gotten there before them. The duo decided to go to Kristin’s house believing he needed privacy to conduct whatever he was planning. Hotch, Prentiss, and I were in a car as we got intel from Morgan, waiting on the address of the sister’s house. But it didn’t make sense, that wasn’t personal enough for him. It didn’t tie into the story. Being stuck in traffic was exasperating, and it only got worse once we lost cell reception in the middle of a call.

Against my better judgment, we headed to Kristin’s apartment where we found out she had been gone for hours and Morgan had never arrived.

“Something must have changed,” Emily expressed.

“The cells are down,” Kurzbard chimed. “Now how the hell do you find them?”

“What would cause Morgan to change his like that when he knows he can’t tell us?” My father spoke up, worry evident in his eyes.

“The unsub had Spicer’s sister and daughter; Morgan knew he didn’t have a lot of time.” Hotch analyzed.

“So, his first guess had to be right.”

“The unsub attacked Spicer specifically through his family,” Emily commented.

“How long has Spicer’s sister lived here?”

“6-7 months.”

“Well, that’s why they didn’t come here.”

“If the unsub wants to hurt Spicer, hell do it someplace that means something to him. Morgan must have realized the same thing.” I thought. “The unsub and Spicer do share one place in common.”

“Santa Monica.”

“Where he killed his parents,” I finished.

“Let’s go.” Hotch started the quick walk to the cars to speed off to Spicer’s childhood home, where we hoped to find Morgan and the Spicers.

Once we arrived the front yard was covered with emergency vehicles, my mind spiraling to the worse possible scenario. We were already one man down; Flynn had gotten to Spicer. Kristin was in rough shape and Flynn had taken Ellie. Morgan had a pretty nasty head wound, but being the strong-headed man he was he just wanted to get back to work.

“Guys, I’m not going to any hospital until we find that little girl.” He directed himself to the EMT. “Now, please just put a bandage on it.”

“Morgan, what’s the notebook?” I motioned to the small book in front of him.

“I asked the sister to tell me everything she could remember about the unsub.”

“And what’s her condition?”

“It’s bad.”

“I’ll go check on her,” Emily offered. She left with the ambulance and hopefully we could get more information out of her.

Everyone knew Morgan wasn’t in perfect condition to continue working, but we also knew he wouldn’t allow us to make him rest. JJ and Reid arrived at the scene with satellite phones to allow communication to continue while the phone towers were down.

“Any word on Ellie?” JJ asked, clearly worried about the innocent little girl that had been brought into this tragedy. Morgan glared at her with such an intensity we all got uncomfortable. “I was just…”

“It’s not you,” I comforted, going out to follow Morgan, Hotch trailing behind.

Outside he called Garcia, asking for her to run the plates on the RV, treating her coldly. I knew he was desperate, but Penelope was worried, as were the rest of us. Something much worse could’ve happened to him; he could have ended up like Spicer.

“You know, she really needs to be more professional sometimes.” Derek turned.

“She gets the job done every time,” Hotch defended.

“I told him, Hotch.” His voice cracked. “I told him that we should wait for backup but he wouldn’t listen to me. We split up and he headed around back before I could stop him.”

“Morgan, sometimes when it comes to family common sense and procedure go out the window.”

“You do the best you can,” I comforted, laying a hand on his shoulders to let him know he wasn’t alone.

“This unsub raped the aunt and then beat her for no reason. She didn’t resist, guys. And he still pistol-whipped her until her ribs were crushed. He killed Spicer while he was on his knees. He was unarmed. This guy’s a pure psychopath. I want this guy.”

“And we’ll get him.”

“Well, we better do it fast. Taking Ellie was like a game to him. The sick bastard thought it was funny. He’s gonna get pissed off at her, she’s nothing but a little girl. She’s gonna show him fear, and when she does… he’s gonna kill her.”

“Then, what are we doing standing around? Let’s go,” I tried my best to encourage.

We all quickly headed back to the precinct, needing to calculate what his net moves would be. He changed his methods suddenly; all patterns were out the window. Flynn wasn’t devolving he was becoming more calculate, we had to find the ends to his means. And Derek’s attitude wasn’t helping to ease the tension we were all feeling. Thankfully, Emily entered at the right moment. We couldn’t run the plates, possibly Kristin had gotten them wrong, but she remembered something crucial. The radio. Flynn listened to the radio following the sound of his name in the mouths of newscasters, and although this could help us, the LAPD had released everything we knew about the RV, about Ellie, and about him.

“That might force him to dump the RV,” my dad said.

“Or kill…” Spencer started but quickly stopped knowing this wouldn’t help appease the strained situation.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Why not?”

“He could’ve killed you and the sister, but he didn’t. He kept you alive, he can’t be surprised that we know what he’s driving and that he has a hostage,” I explained, my father nodding his head in agreement.

We knew he listened to the radio but not which station, but an idea surfaced in JJ. We could try to work with the Emergency Alert System. Quickly, she got to work to be able to get out a message that we were sure would reach Flynn. On one side of the room, Emily and Morgan were talking about Kristin and what she had made him promise her. The safekeeping of Ellie. Kristin said it wasn’t fair of her to ask that, but Morgan wouldn’t break that promise.

As JJ worked the bureaucratic sinkhole that was the EAS, we got word that Flynn was currently in another house with Ellie. When we arrived at the scene, he was gone, but not for the lack of trying to from the neighbors. They had tried to stop him, but he had already taken that family’s car and was able to speed off. We needed to work even quicker than before, he was getting desperate.

Inside the RV he discarded, Ellie’s hair was found on the floor. Derek got enraged, but Spencer reassured him: “Why would you disguise someone you were going to kill?”

Looking for clues inside, Derek found a pipe and I found a newspaper. As they fixated on more clues from the underlined words on it: “bright, happy child,” Spencer pointed out, Derek thought back on what Flynn had said back at the Spicer house. Flynn was after Ellie all along.

One thing we were wrong on the profile, he was stuck in the delusion of believing he was some sort of grandparent to Ellie; she wouldn’t be here if he hadn’t let Matt survive. In a matter of seconds, the gears in the case started shifting at full speed. Once JJ got through to the Madame Secretary, Hotch assigned her to hostage negotiation through the system, trying to find a way to draw him out. On the other hand, Reid and I were looking over some newspapers that were stored in the RV, the murders we might have thought were his first might not have been. As soon as the lights came back on and the cell towers were up we were contacting Garcia to check the records on a murder investigation from 1968.

Garcia has always worked fast and well, this time it was no different.

“So, Nora Flynn was a prostitute and a drug addict living in a desert community just outside of Los Angeles. It appears bikers were her stock in trade, rough bikers. And one fateful day she and a client were murdered by her 13-year-old son Billy. Shot to death. The costumer, ironically named John, was able to tell the police before he died that Billy made him beg for his life and then shot him anyway.”

“That’s him,” Morgan commented.

“And he was convicted, but...”

“He’s a juvenile,” I said.

“Right. So at 18, he was released in 1973, never heard from again,” Penelope continued.

“Oh, he was heard from,” Emily spoke up.

“And he never released a statement as to why he killed them, although it does appear his childhood was horrific. I’m sending you a picture of him on the day he was released to your PDAs.”

“make sure you send the files to JJ,” Hotch instructed.

“Of course, my liege. Garcia bids you ad…”

She was cut off by Morgan, hopefully, so he could apologize for being so cold. “Garcia, wait a minute.”

He took the phone and left to a more private corner to talk to our tech genius. Also, Hotch had gone outside to help JJ with the tough job she had to do; I did not want to be in her shoes right now. We were all standing around in a circle listening to JJ, we could tell she was nervous and picking her words carefully. At first, it was a little rough, but as soon as she tapped into her motherly instincts it was going way smoother. Hopefully, it hit the nail on the head.

Then we received some unfortunate news, Kristin had passed away. The look of defeat on Derek’s face was painful, Ellie was alone now. But there was some hope – Flynn had let Ellie go. JJ had succeeded. We sped off to the house where Billy Flynn was hiding. Upon arrival we were met with the LAPD, they had a direct line to Flynn sent in and were waiting for contact. It rang as soon as we got there, he was watching us.

“He wants to talk to you,” Kurzbard extended the phone towards Derek.

“What?” His tone was pointed, laced with anger and desperation. “He wants me to come in.”

Morgan started walking towards the house after exchanging some words with Hotch. My heart was beating a million miles an hour and I held onto Emily to stabilize myself. We had no eyes or ears on the inside of the house, and anything could happen whilst we were outside and Derek inside.

A couple of minutes went by until ten shots rang through the house. My heart dropped and tears spilled from my eyes unconsciously. I was expecting for the worse as my hands flew to my gun, ready to enter the house, but Emily held me back as Derek calmly walked out of the house. Emily and Spencer accompanied officers to survey the scene and I stayed behind with my father and Hotch to make sure Derek was okay. My father hugged my shoulders as we watched the reunion between Ellie and Morgan, who thankfully came out of the house unscathed.

On the flight home, I couldn’t help but shed a few tears as the adrenaline from the case was wearing down. Next to me, Derek noticed my mood shift and sat closer to me.

“What’s up, baby girl? What’s got you like this?”

“I don’t know, it’s just back at the house we didn’t know anything and all we hard were the shots; I just thought the worst had happened. I’m just being dumb,” I chuckled, trying to downplay how I was feeling. He was the one who went through the traumatic experience, not me.

“Oh come on, you know it would take more than a couple of knocks and a crazy unsub to take me down. You’re gonna have to put up with me for a long time. All of us,” he motioned to the rest of the team. The ones who were still awake nodded and smiled.

But the team would suffer a huge loss before we knew it. This morning JJ, Strauss, and Hotch had been in Hotch’s office right before we were meant to be on the plane to Atlantic Beach. No one knew what they were meeting about, but it had to be serious.

We all left to the case with the underlying question of what the meeting was about. On the plane we stared at JJ until she confessed about the meeting; the Pentagon had offered her a job twice and Strauss wanted her to take it. As much as we wanted to pick her brain about it, there wasn’t too much news. She had a job offer she didn’t want and our boss wanted her to take it. We needed to focus on the case.

At the moment there were two men in custody, 20-year-old Sid and Jimmy. They were claiming they both had consensual sex with our 19-year-old victim Kate after she left a bar with them. Highly doubtful. The need to break them down psychologically became apparent when there were no plot holes found in their stories by the police. We had no body, two suspects, and a limited amount of time.

As soon as we landed, the team got busy with their assignments. JJ was to stay with the parents, Emily and Morgan were in interrogations, dad and Reid to the bar, and Hotch and I to review the interview videos to find any nonverbal clues to disrupt their story. As quickly as we could work so did Garcia. In minutes she gave us a big background into the kids, criminal troublemakers since their preteens.

We watched intently both interviews, Syd’s directly and Jimmy through recording. Syd was prepotent and standoffish since Derek walked in, not much perturbed him, Jimmy on the other hand had a tell.

“He never mentions her by name,” I said as we watched the interview Emily was carrying out with Jimmy.

“Why not?” Detective Mathias asked.

“He’s distancing himself,” Hotch added. “Depersonalizing the victim.”

“Look at the way he shifts his weight and cracks his neck. His behavior was consistent until Kate was mentioned,” I noted and Hotch nodded. Mathias seemed very interested in the way we analyzed every single movement.

Then, both asked for a polygraph test. As we waited to hear from the polygraph results we got to work on theories.

“So, what if they didn’t do it then we’re back to nothing?” Mathias doubted.

“One of them knows where Kate is,” I said nonchalantly.

“How can you be sure?”

“Because an innocent person doesn’t sit quietly for three days. They get angry and defensive.”

“These guys are going out of their way to appear calm and in control,” Derek added. “They’ve got something to hide.”

We knew they were stalling with the polygraphs, all we had to do is figure out what they knew about Kate’s whereabouts. Hotch then sent JJ back to dig into the parents a little, why would have Kate gone with these two boys if everyone else says she wouldn’t have? JJ adamantly turned and headed to the Pearson couple.

“Hotch, we can’t lose her,” I whispered.

“Strauss thinks we’re all replaceable. I went over her head to try to explain that we’re not.”

It wasn’t the answer we wanted, but it’s the one that we got. At the end of the day, we could be short a team member. And worse, our family would be separated.

But we had to continue working, they had passed the tests. We needed to continue the interviews. Something they were counting on. Dad went in to talk to Syd and Reid talked to Jimmy, the latter having a bit of a short fuse. We were going to continue on and on until they broke.

We had less than three hours until they were released. We needed everything we could get. As Derek pushed Syd, and Emily left Jimmy, Hotch got a call. I quickly picked at his cell and the screen read Strauss. So, I excused myself and left Emily to analyze the pictures that were on Syd’s phone of that night.

“She’s leaving, isn’t she?” I asked, reading Hotch’s defeated posture. He nodded. “There’s nothing you can do?”

“They’re not asking. It’s a direct order,” he rubbed his temples.

“So, she’s going to DC?” He nodded once more. I knew it was hard on him the most. He was the person we all looked onto to keep us united, but this really was out of his hands.

“I really wish there was more I could do,” he sighed. We shared a quick hug in the empty hallway, a way of reassuring him that he didn’t have to carry this news by himself. As we detached, he shared a small smile of relief, a small weight lifting off his shoulders.

“Well, come on. There’s no good in dwelling on it right now. Let’s catch these scumbags and bring back Kate.”

The interviews carried on. We couldn’t be distracted by the sad news. We were picking apart every breath, every movement, every word. Then, as she perused the pictures, JJ noticed in a Kate-less one her phone was present. But, Kate’s phone was in possession of her mother since it was recovered from Kate’s hotel room. The girl had made it back to the hotel.

We started forming our hypothesis. Most of the story they believed to be true because it actually was, they did take her back to the hotel, and they did leave. But Jimmy had felt rejected by Kate since she didn’t pay him much attention, and he had the perfect excuse to come back. So, when he left Syd back home, he went back with Kate’s phone. He lured her outside, possibly drugged her, and took her to his boat. Spencer pointed out that Jimmy was obsessed with the details of the port and Mathias added that at that time of night the blood from the catch would attract hundreds of sharks.

“We asked him if he killed her,” I sighed. “He didn’t. Asked where her body is.”

“He doesn’t know,” Emily added, following my train of thought.

“Technically those aren’t lies,” Spencer stated.

“How can you prove this?”

“We’ll get them to admit it,” Hotch answered Mathias.

Back into the interview room we were. We had our bait, and we were gonna reel in the answers.

After we pushed and got no concrete answers, we knew we had to search the ocean. I left with JJ ad Hotch to the port in hopes that she would be found. The Coast guard was 70 miles out and there was no sign of the young girl. We were getting worried.

“Kate’s an amazing swimmer. If he didn’t kill her when she hit the water, there’s still a chance,” JJ hoped.

“JJ, that’s three days in the ocean,” Hotch stated.

“I know,” she said in a defeated tone.

“This might be a long shot, but she would have been thrown near a dangerous area, which would mean there would be buoy markers. It could be possible that, if she was still alive when she hit the water, she swam all the way to a buoy, and since it’s been three days and hopefully, she has no major wounds, there’s a high probability she could’ve survived.” JJ looked up at me and gave me a small smile.

“Nice catch, (Y/N).” Hotch quickly punched in the number for the helicopter and told them to look closely at any buoys they saw around the area.

“I have a feeling about this one, JJ.” She hugged my shoulders. “We’re gonna find her.”

It wasn’t long until we got the news. Mathias came back to tell us they had found her hugging a buoy, alive. The three of us let out a breath of relief, and the unit chief and I stayed back as JJ went to tell the parents the good news. Although no words were exchanged, when we both looked at each other we knew this victorious feeling would be a short-lived one for the team.

Now that it was over JJ would be gone. When we got back, everyone else knew. JJ came out of the briefing room with a defeated look in her eyes, after a mad Hotch had stormed into his office. It didn’t take long for these brilliant minds to figure out the exchange.

“It’s done,” she sighed.

“It can’t be that simple,” Morgan protested.

“It is,” I said.

“You knew?”

“Figured it out back at the precinct,” I answered JJ. “Hotch got the call while Derek was interviewing Syd. It wasn’t too hard to map out.”

“This job is hard enough. What’re they trying to do, bury us?”

“She’s too good,” Emily said.

“She’s on everybody’s wish list,” dad added. “Our loss is somebody else’s gain.”

“They can’t just take you away,” Spencer said sadly. But they could, and they did.

It was a hard goodbye. She wasn’t truly gone but she wouldn’t be with us anymore. There wouldn’t be a need for a true grieving period, but the JJ-shaped hole that would fall upon the BAU team would be impossible to fill. Our family would not be fully complete until hopefully one day she came back.

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Tag List: @wanniiieeee @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @ssamorganhotchner

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ficforce · 3 years

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Second Chances

Akitaru Obi x Reader SFW No set timeline Old flames

“Captain, I’m fine, really!” Shinra complained as Obi all but marched him over to the Ambulance, his forehead was bleeding badly from where he had flown into a brick, but head injuries always bled a lot. “Heroes don’t sweat over little things.

“Heroes still get concussions,” The Captain gave him a little shove toward the Ambulance, the paramedic was busy getting everything away but she turned her head once she realised someone was there.

She was already putting on a fresh pair of gloves, smiling at the two and then she paused, “Akitaru?”

“…Y/N?” The Captain was taken aback but then he was grinning from ear to ear, “How are you? I thought you’d gone off and gotten married?”

Y/N smiled back, her eyes bright as she looked him over, “I’m good – Better for not going off and getting married, dodged a bullet there… Look at you, you’re… huge, Akitaru.” The last time she had seen him he was a regular firefighter, he’d been muscular back then but not like this, he looked happier too. Checking out his uniform she made an impressed noise, “Captain of a Special Fire Force… Wow.” She was really happy for him, he had always been a hard worker and he deserved the recognition. “Were you passing by or did you need help?

“I’m bleeding to death but if you two wanna catch up I’ll go find a corner…” Shinra felt like he was invisible, he was stood in between them but he felt forgotten.

“Sorry, take a seat on the van,” Y/N let out an embarrassed laugh and grabbed out a clean cloth to dab at the blood, “Hey, Akitaru?” she called over her shoulder, “You didn’t tell me you had a secret love child.”

“I have a whole new family, Y/N. As great as Shinra is, I’m not lucky enough to have a good kid like him.”

Shinra’s cheeks blushed and he tried not to show how happy he was with his Captain’s words, “Honest, if you two want to catch up I’ll just go bleed out in the Matchbox.”

“Oh shush, it’s a flesh wound at best. Stick around and I’ll tell you some cringe-worthy stories of your Captain.” As she spoke she cleaned the teens face up a little then began inspecting the actual cut, “The first time I met him, he had the same injury like this – there was blood in his eye, down his face, the front of his uniform was covered. They rushed him into the hospital and it was my first day on my own.” She was a nurse inside the hospital most days but sometimes she was called out as a paramedic when they were short. “He broke my nose.”

“What?!” The teen leaned to the side to watch as his Captain blushed, “How?”

Obi cleared his throat and leaned on the side of the Ambulance, “It was an accident, I had a concussion so I was in and out of consciousness, I bolted up and smashed my head right into her face…”

“Didn’t they give you a medal for that?” Y/N pulled out a pack of steristrips.

“Breaking your nose?” Shinra asked

Obi was rubbing the back of his head, he looked like he was enjoying the teasing, “It was a medal for bravery, I went back inside the building to help out a friend – Think it’s the same one they stripped from me two years later. Then they gave it back…”

“You never could back down when you thought something was wrong, Akitaru. Medals and titles mean nothing if you turn your back on what’s right.”

He smiled fondly at her, “You’re not much better at ignoring that stuff either, I remember the time you threatened that Doctor in the middle of the ER. You gave him the lecture of his life, told him he could take your job but if he didn’t save that kid’s life you would destroy him,” He looked somewhat proud and Obi had to stand up straight and fix his jacket as a distraction, “You used to burn hotter than any third gen.”

Shinra looked between the two, a crease between his eyebrows as he picked up the weird atmosphere, Obi ruffled his hair as Y/N finished treating him, “We used to date, long time ago.”

“But you stayed friends?” That sounded like something his Captain might do, who could ever hate the man?

Y/N disposed of her gloves and stood with her hands on her hips, “Sort of, I ended up dating a cop and then we got engaged… then I got un-engaged.” She said it so flippantly that neither man wanted to ask further, “What about you, Akitaru? You find someone to settle down with – not that you could settle if you wanted to, you’re always busy.”

“You know how clumsy I am, Y/N, you’re the only one who had enough patience…” The Captain took a breath and looked her in the eye, “Wanna go on a date sometime?”

The teen threw his hands up, “I’m right here!”

“Then go somewhere else.”

Y/N giggled at them but she wrote her details on a piece of paper and handed it to Obi, “Maybe we won’t screw it up this time?”

– -

Hinawa watched as Obi first passed the office wearing a suit, he passed again and then stopped at the door ten minutes later in his fatigues, “Too casual, right? But the suit seems too uptight…” The Lieutenant opened his mouth to reply but Obi was gone, the Captain next showing up in an odd half casual, half formal look, “Can I borrow your cologne? And what about this outfit?” He came fully into the office and sat down, his hands in his hair and his foot tapping, “Should I do something with my hair?”

“Where are you taking her?” He continued typing on his laptop, trying not to pick up on the other’s nervous energy, “You should dress in relation to that.” He typed for a little longer, the odd silence drawing it until he glanced at his Captain, the man looked like he was going to be sick, “You don’t know where you’re taking her, do you?”

“…”

“Ramen,” he suggested, “Go to your usual Ramen store and relax, stick to casual. You used to date, you have no false persona to maintain… Just be you, Captain.” He got up and stood in front of Obi, pulling him to his feet so that he could have him remove the formal jack, it left him in a pair of dark jeans and a short-sleeved black t-shirt. “If in doubt – Flex.”

“Thanks, Hinawa…” Obi knew he was trying too hard, he was excited and nervous and couldn’t quite control himself, “I was in love with her, I don’t think I really ever let go but I screwed it up so badly before that I’m worried I’ll do it again. I should be concentrating on our mission…” He felt hands on his shoulders and he looked at his Lieutenant’s serious expression.

Hinawa wasn’t the best at talking about his own feelings but he certainly cared about his Team’s emotional welfare, “You’ve been given a second chance with a woman you love, I want you to be happy, Captain. Everyone in this Company wants you to be happy and we’ll help you in any way we can.” He gave him a pat, “And if she doesn’t like you back I can always shoot her.”

“…Please don’t shoot her. Everything else was appreciated.”

– -

Y/N grinned as she stepped into the ramen place, she could see that Obi was blushing and he was rubbing the back of his head nervously - he was panicking. He was so calm and collected in an emergency but he was so cute when he had to make public speeches and always when he chose date spots. “I was so worried you’d take me somewhere ridiculous, somewhere fancy that we would both hate. This is great.” She took a seat in a booth and he slid in opposite her, Obi looked a little less stiff and she could see the tension released as soon as she had said that.

“I’d like to take the credit but my Lieutenant talked me down - I still get nervous around you.”

“Akitaru…” Y/N couldn’t help but smile, her face warm at his honesty, “You’re still a charmer.”

They passed the evening catching up, eating Ramen and then heading to a nearby bar for drinks. It was like old times, Obi felt like they had picked up from where they had left off and the time apart seemed trivial. They had originally split up because of their jobs. Being a fireman was hard work and so was being an ER nurse, they wouldn’t have much time for each other and when they did they were exhausted and irritable. Obi was often frustrated with the limits put on him, he valued lives - not rules - he didn’t train as much back then either and he’d always had excess energy to burn.

Y/N worked all hours, she had to fight with her managers on treatment over saving money, they cut corners and she was so low on the chain that they ignored her, she didn’t want to listen to him complain when she had her own frustrations.

They had to let each other go before they came to hate one another.

Obi placed another drink in front of her, they sat beside one another, close enough to converse over the noise of the bar, “So, you didn’t get married in the end?”

There it was, she knew this was going to come up eventually and she shrugged as if it were nothing, “He had a temper, so I got out of there before it got out of hand - he could be quite frightening at times…” Y/N picked up her glass and took a drink, “Why haven’t you dated in such a long time? You must have gotten offers, women love a fireman.”

“No one compared to you,” He admitted right away, the Captain looked at her surprised expression and smiled, “I let you go because we weren’t mature enough for each other at the time, I didn’t let you go because I didn’t love you.”

He came straight out with it. The way he had always been and what she had always adored, “Akitaru…” There was no hesitation in her as the man leaned in, his lips were familiar and oddly comforting, Y/N’s eyes fluttered shut and she caressed up his jaw until she could feel the prickly short hairs of his undercut, keeping him from pulling away.

— -

Company 8 had noticed the change in Obi’s mood over the few weeks he’d been dating, he was usually enthusiastic but he was so much happier than before, it spread through them all. He was still serious about their mission but it was nice for everyone to see him taking more time to relax, “Captain, you have a visitor,” Maki announced as she stepped into his office, Y/N was just behind her but the to woman went unnoticed for a few seconds as Obi continued to punch the bag in the corner. Y/N couldn’t help but admire his muscular back, his skin was shiny with sweat and if it hadn’t been for one thing then she was certain she would be thinking about getting him alone for some fun. Instead, she was focussed on the sound of his fists hitting the bag.

The sound made her flinch and she had to remember to breathe.

“Captain Obi!” Maki called out this time, her hands on her hips as she approached him, “Y/N’s here.”

That did the trick and Obi stopped, turning around to grin at her, “Thanks, Maki.” The woman gave a nod and headed out, Obi grabbed a hand towel and wiped the sweat from his face, “Sorry, I was too into it. I didn’t think you’d actually come to… visit…” He noticed that she looked a little off colour and as he looked closer he could see that Y/N was tense, “Y/N?” He walked to her and reached out to move a loose hair from her face - immediately she recoiled with a sharp gasp. Obi froze.

He watched her hunch in on herself and lower her gaze to the floor, she looked terrified… “Y/N, what is it? What’s wrong?” She shook her head and tried to look at him, a half muttered ‘I’m fine’ escaped her lips and was followed shortly by a hitched breath, then another… and another. Years of looking after people during and after traumatising events made Obi realise immediately that she was having an anxiety attack. “Hey, you’re safe, Y/N, it’s okay. Come on, take a seat.” The man took her hand and guided her to his chair, getting her to sit and then opened the office window before getting on his knees in front of her, Obi tried to reach for her face again but once more she flinched away.

She didn’t want him to touch her.

“Okay, okay…” Obi placed his hands on his thighs, he waited for her to get control of her breathing, she was a nurse and she seemed to be trying to bring herself out of the anxious state so that she could at least take a proper breath, “Do you need some water?” At her nod he got up and crossed the room to grab a bottle, bringing it back and opening it for her, “That was new…” Obi tried to make light of it once she seemed almost calm.

“I’m sorry, Akitaru… I…I haven’t had one of those in a while…”

He told her not to apologise and remained on the floor, keeping himself low and trying to seem a little less big. “Did something happen today? Is that why you came to see me?”

“I just wanted to visit… I…” She looked at his handsome face, his warm, kind eyes looking at her with such concern, “You’ll get angry, Akitaru.”

“About what?”

He would get angry and that would just give her another attack but he should know. “Sometimes… sometimes the sound of fists hitting something else… sets me off.” Y/N sucked in her bottom lip and tightened her hands into fists, “Remember when I said my ex had a temper…?”

Obi could be slow at times, known to have more brawn than brains but this was a very simple equation. “He hit you?” It was difficult for him to keep his voice level, anger began to clump together inside him and made his body feel heavy - he stamped it down and tried not to let a single bit escape him. “I’m… you…” What did he say to her? How long did she put up with that kind of abuse? How bad was it? How did she get away? He had so many questions and not one of them would make this better and would only cause her more distress. The Captain took her hands in his and pressed his lips to her fingertips, taking a long moment to compose himself and then looking up into her nervous gaze, “I don’t think I need to tell you that I would never harm you, Y/N. I get that it’s probably really hard to trust anyone after someone you were supposed to marry, who you must have loved dearly, hurt you. But I would never, ever, ever lay a hand on you with the intent to hurt you.”

“I know, Akitaru,” she understood that completely and she felt guilty for getting so worked up over his training, “It took me so long to walk away from him, I was in denial and thought maybe I could make him kind again but maybe he was always that bad. I’m sorry I freaked out - You looked pretty sexy before I had to mess things up.”

The man leaned up to press a short kiss to her lips, pulling back to make sure she didn’t feel crowded by him, “You didn’t mess anything up… Besides, I look sexier when I’m lifting weights.” Obi took hold of the seat she was on and lifted both it and her up onto his desk, the woman giving out a surprised yell as he did, “You’re the prettiest desk weight I’ve ever seen, my paperwork will never blow away again.”

Y/N ran her hand through his hair and smiled down at him, he knew how to make her feel treasured and she reached for him to pick her up and place her back on the ground, she hugged him tight and sighed in relief as he held her - She felt safe with him.

“If the furniture isn’t back in its proper place by the time our meeting starts, I will shoot you in the knee, Captain.”

Y/N heard something that sounded suspiciously like a whimper and Obi’s embrace became a little tighter as he tried to shrink behind her. She managed to turn her head enough to see that Hinawa had entered the office and didn’t seem happy to see the chair on top of the desk or that Obi had set up a punching bag, “I’ll protect you, Akitaru.”

#obi akitaru #reader #domestic violence mention #fire force

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