#sometimes I share pictures & thoughts of my current reads on instagram | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slut-taylorsversionnn · 7 months

Text

summary: part 1 of tom blyth x med student (idk how many parts this will be so just enjoy!) also this is taking place pretty much modern day when tom is filming part 2 of season 2 of billy the kid.

mackenzie blaire was my best friend and roommate. we met our sophomore year at nyu when her boyfriend had broken up with her OVER TEXT and i found her in the bathroom at a bar sobbing her eyes out. i was at the time getting over a very toxic situation ship so we immediately hit it off and have been roommates and best friends ever since. she was currently pursuing her acting career while i was in my 4th year of med school. mackenzie had starred in billy the kid alongside tom blyth and ever since then let’s just say i had developed a crush on him. me and mackenzie had gone to see the ballad of songbirds and snakes in theaters together and let’s just say my crush had gotten ten times worse. so tonight was the people’s choice awards and tom and mackenzie were both nominated for season 2 of billy the kid. and of course mackenzie picked me to be her plus one!

“i am soo nervous.” i said pouring mackenzie and myself a cup of coffee.

“you will be fine and tom will be obsessed with you by the end of the night, trust me!” she said.

“but kenz you are the outgoing and bold one, me not so much. this is why you’re the actress and i’m still in college.” i sighed, med school was super interesting and everything i thought it would be but sometimes seeing how successful kenzie was kinda made me jealous.

“ok first of all, you are like the smartest person i know. and you are so funny so please don’t get yourself down. you are so positive about everyone else, it’s time for you to be happy for yourself!” kenzie always knew what to say.

“you’re so right. i am just going to enjoy myself and we are going to have the best time regardless that i might get rejected by the single hottest guy on the planet, tom blyth.” i laughed.

i was enjoying my coffee and reading my book when my phone buzzed. i picked it up to see that tom blyth started following me on instagram. i sprinted into mackenzie’s room.

“TOM JUST FOLLOWED ME ON INSTAGRAM!” i pretty much shouted at her.

“oh my gosh y/n! this is huge!! i have been texting him on and off today and i told him you were quite the catch soo….”

“what exactly did you say???” i love how she just casually brought up that she was texting tom blyth like what.

“just how charming and sweet and funny you are. i guess that made him want to go check out your insta and he must’ve liked what he saw.” she said eyebrows wiggling.

“now i literally cannot wait to get to see him tonight! this is actually insane am i dreaming right now??”

she laughed, “i’m so happy for you! looks like its time to get ready, tom won’t know what hit him when you get onto that red carpet!”

we walked into our shared bathroom. it was perfect to get ready because of the huge double sink vanity.

“kenz you have no idea how excited i am! the nerves are like completely gone and i just can’t believe i actually get to come with you!”

“yay, y/n i am so happy you get to come too. like who else would i want to party it up with on a red carpet?” she laughed and we started putting on our makeup. i loved getting all glammed up and mackenzie curled my hair. i finally put on my yellow floor length dress that was absolutely stunning. it hugged my body perfectly and had a slit that came up the side. i then slipped on my gold heels and stepped out to see mackenzie in her gorgeous coral dress.

“omg y/n you are STUNNING! tom isn’t going to be able to take his eyes off of you!!” mackenzie exclaimed.

“mackenzie you literally look like a disney princess right now, that dress was made for you!!” we definitely picked out our dresses to match each other and man we were going to kill it on the red carpet.

we stepped out of our car and i was immediately overwhelmed by the flashing of cameras and the amount of people at this event. i felt like a celebrity myself with all the pictures being taken of me and mackenzie. all of a sudden i heard someone saying mackenzie’s name. i turned around and bam there was tom blyth.

“tom!! it is so great to see you!” kenzie said leaning in for a hug. oh my goodness he looked even better in person if that was even possible. THE tom blyth was hugging my best friend. like obviously they had acted together in billy the kid and every time i watched it that felt insane to me but seeing this in person was crazy.

“mackenzie! it is so so good to see you darling.” tom said in his accent which was the hottest thing ever. then those blue eyes found their way to mine. “you must be y/n! kenzie won’t shut up about how awesome you are, it is such an honor to meet you in person.” he said. my shocked face was blocked from his view as he pulled me into a hug. oh my gosh i am hugging tom blyth right now at the people’s choice awards. he said it was an honor to meet me. is my life even real right now?? my mind was spinning.

“it is such an honor to meet you! you were so amazing in billy the kid and the hunger games, i’m glad people are understanding the tom blyth hype now.” i gushed, im sorry but i was completely fan girling like how could i not??

“oh the tom blyth hype? are you a supporter?” he questioned, was he flirting? was i flirting with tom blyth?

“i guess you could say that.” i blushed. now keep in mind somehow during this conversation kenzie had abandoned me so it was just me and tom on the red carpet which i guess i should thank her for but i was also very flustered.

“do you ever get used to these cameras?” i questioned tom as the cameras flashed at us.

“not really, but it’s easier to get through when you have company.” he winked. that sent butterflies erupting in my stomach. so what exactly had mackenzie said about me that made tom so flirty tonight??

“may i?” he asked wondering if he could slip his arm around my waist to pose for some more pictures. i just nodded and giggled. he laughed and snaked his arm around my waist.

“that dress is gorgeous on you, i can’t believe this is your first red carpet. you are such a natural at this.” tom whispered into my ear. feeling his breath on my neck sent shivers down my spine.

“i think it’s because you are doing all the work. i’m just standing here and looking pretty.” i shrugged making him laugh.

as we neared the end of the carpet there were stairs we had to climb down. and tom being the gentleman that he was, went down quickly so he could hold my hand and help me down the stairs. the lyrics from slut! by taylor swift started playing in my head ‘in a world of boys he’s a gentleman.’ we made our way inside and there were so many tables i had no where to go and i froze. tom smiled and placed his hand on the small of my back and led me to our table. gosh he was hot, funny, and so sweet.

“y/n! you made it. i see you and tom had a fun time on the carpet.” kenzie said as me and tom sat down. my seat was perfect - i was in between tom and mackenzie. other actors that worked on billy the kid were also seated at our table such as daniel webber and josh cruddas.

“y/n is quite the natural on the carpet. she was cracking jokes and that was the fastest the red carpet has ever gone for me, i think she needs to come to all of my events.” tom gushed.

“i wouldn’t mind. getting all glammed up is pretty fun and you were the one cracking all the jokes. i feel like i just stood there laughing the whole time.” i smiled. how were me and tom acting like old friends already, we just met? the chemistry was wild.

the lights started to dim signaling the show was about to begin. they were announcing action movie of the year and the ballad of songbirds and snakes won!! i shot out of my seat to congratulate tom. since he was right next to me i got to hug him first hehe.

“congratulations tom!!” i cheered as he hugged me. he smiled and went to hug kenzie and then he went up on stage with the rest of the hunger games cast. rachel zegler started her speech saying how thankful she was for the wonderful cast and the amazing fans. then tom said how this was such a wonderful opportunity and he was so thankful for the franchise and everyone showing so much support. i clapped and got a little teary eyes at their speeches.

tom returned to his seat and the rest of the table said their congratulations. the show continued and rachel zegler won the action movie star of the year. taylor swift won lots of course, loved her so much.

then billy the kid won an award and the whole table stood up except me and made their way to the stage. mackenzie and tom said a few words of thanks and i was so proud!

after the show we headed to the after party and me and kenzie headed over to the bar.

“what could you have possibly said to tom?” i questioned her, “he’s been all over me tonight!”

“i don’t know, he must just be in love with you, i mean who wouldn’t.” she replied. “now let’s party it up! i heard there was gonna be some karaoke too.”

i was sipping on my drink and mackenzie had wondered off to talk to some other friends of hers and i was content to people watch. that’s when tom walked up to the bar and asked for some whiskey.

he smiled at me and asked, “how is your first red carpet after party going?”

“well i heard there was going to be some karaoke so i figured some alcohol in my system would give me the confidence to go up there. i love karaoke but im just some random med student at the people’s choice awards.”

“would it help if we were to do a duet?” tom offered eyebrows raised.

“that would be so fun! what song are you thinking?” i was grinning so much right now.

“i’m up for anything, the point of karaoke is to not know the words anyway.”

“umm definitely not the point of karaoke but we’re just going to ignore that flaw of yours.”

“flaw of mine?? i feel personally attacked on that one l/n.” he said.

i rolled my eyes and held back a giggle, “ooh! i have a song idea, but no making fun of me blyth. why don’t we we do what makes you beautiful by one direction! that would be a great duet and the crowd would love it.”

“you would be a one direction fan.” tom chuckled.

“i told you no making fun of me. and you are so a fan too, i can just tell.”

“fine you caught me. i love listening to one direction.” tom says.

i grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the sign up sheet. kenzie came up to us, “you got tom to sign up for karaoke??” she exclaimed.

“oh yeah! we’re doing a one direction song, it’s gonna be great!” i replied.

“be ready to be blown away.” tom said laughing.

before i knew it, it was time to go up and sing our duet. “you ready for this, darling?” tom asked helping me up on stage.

“oh i was born ready tom.” i giggled.

the song starts and i start singing:

You're insecure, don't know what for

You're turnin' heads when you walk through the door

Don't need makeup to cover up

Bein' the way that you are is enough

then tom starts singing and i forget about everyone watching

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

then we sing together and i walk closer towards him

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

tom sings looking at me the whole time

So c-come on, you got it wrong

To prove I'm right, I put it in a song

I don't know why you're being shy

And turn away when I look into your eyes

then i sing back to him

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

then we both sing dancing around the stage

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

Na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na

Na, na-na-na, na-na

Na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na

Na, na-na-na, na-na

i sing and turn towards everyone watching and blush when i feel tom’s eyes on me

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know you're beautiful

both of us:

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

You don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

everyone is cheering to loudly and i feel like i have just had my high school musical troy and gabriella moment with tom. i looked at him and he had the biggest grin on his face and i knew i looked the same way. we got off stage and tom goes, “did we really just do that?”

at the same time i go, “that was incredible.” we just start laughing. mackenzie runs up to us.

“guys that was literally straight out of a movie. you guys had every single person at this party invested.” she said.

“i think that was my best karaoke performance yet.” i said grinning.

“i think it’s time to quit acting and me and y/n can take this show on the road.” tom laughed.

“such a great idea.” i said laughing and grabbed his arm to stabilize myself in my heels.

kenzie dragged us onto the dance floor and at some point rachel zegler, josh rivera, and hunter schafer joined us on the dance floor. what?! my mind was blown as they all said how amazing me and tom’s performance was. we danced and drank and laughed and boy was it a blast.

the party winded down and mackenzie and i were making our way out.

“wait y/n!” i heard tom call as i was about to climb into our car. i turned around as he jogged up to me.

“tonight was so fun and i just wanted to say it was a blast getting to know you, can i by chance get your number?” he asked sheepishly.

“yes of course! i had the best time too, you really know how to party!” i said laughing. we exchanged numbers and he hugged me good bye.

“see you later tom.”

“hope to see you soon l/n.”

author’s note: hope you all enjoyed! i can’t wait to continue this series. leave suggestions for other stories you want to read and i will get to it!

#tom blyth #tom blyth angst #tom blyth fanfiction #tom blyth fic #tom blyth fluff #tom blyth imagine #tom blyth x reader #tom blyth x you #billy the kid #rachel zegler #josh rivera #hunter schafer #coriolanus snow #people’s choice awards #med student #med school #nyu #new york

46 notes · View notes

defenderofthelight · 10 months

Text

About me~

Hello! I'm Hannah and if you stumbled upon my blog - welcome! I'm glad you're here 🥰

A little about me: I'm a married 90's kid but I don't have any kiddos (yet). I work part-time as a barista, make designs for Redbubble, and am working on a couple writing/editing projects. I love coffee, tea, purple, pink, and pastel colors. I struggle with fatigue, major depression, anxiety, and C-PTSD but don't let my weaknesses hold me back or define who I am. I LOVE to create and although I've had some major slumps with my mental health, I always find myself going back to it. When I'm not creating, I enjoy spending time with my hubby or my closest friends and family. I also love video games (cozy indie games are my favorite), reading, music, collaborating with characters or story ideas, and watching Bob's Burgers, old TV shows, or anime.

My projects: Skyglass (main): middle grade fantasy series I'm currently writing about a bunch of fae kiddos. Premise: A young orphaned girl learns she’s from a magical world. But she must make an important choice—stay in her comfort zone and let fear control her, or step up and help change the course of history in her new world.

Project Burley (on hiatus): collaborative project I started on Instagram in 2019. It's about a creative arts school that houses middle school through high school students in a world where creativity is severely looked down on. I still love my kiddos deeply from this project, so I plan on posting more about them here. And if you're ever interested in reading my short stories and learning even more about my kids, links to my stories are at the bottom of this post and in my linktree.

TBN "Oreo" project (side): another story I've got in development that'll probably turn into a book. Premise: After being sent to a school for young criminals and social outcasts, Theo must team up with the eccentric Orly. Because their school isn't what he thought it was, and they are all in danger of being turned into weapons of war for their country. (I'll use the "Project Oreo" tag for this now).

AND I'm bound to post about miscellaneous other characters and story ideas. Since I play around with a lot -- but those above are my most consistent/serious ones at the moment.

Other interests: In case you couldn't already tell, I'm passionate about original characters, stories, and content. It's not that I hate fan made content (and you're bound to see fan art reblogged on my side blog sometimes), but there is something truly special about original ideas so that is where my main interest lies. I really hope to find many original character artists and writers here to love and support.

I'm also a huge advocate for mental health and strive to be a light in this dark, chaotic world. I plan to make my blogs safe, happy places for anyone to enjoy who shares common interests with me.

If anything I've rambled about resonates with you, I'd love for you to follow my blog! I promise I'll check out every blog that follows mine and give you a follow back if I like what I see 💜

You can also follow my side blog @heartsintent where I reblog posts.

Thank you for reading!!

Books I'm currently reading: The Golden Yarn (Reckless Book 3) by Cornelia Funke, The Hard Good by Lisa Whittle

Games I'm currently playing/regularly play: Stardew Valley (regularly), Coral Island, Spirittea, Farm Together (regularly), Sims 4 (regularly) -- I'm an Xbox girl, but I sometimes play on Switch too

Follow me on: Instagram | Redbubble | Goodreads | Spotify

Project Burley Stories: Season 1 | Season 2 | Season 3 | Season 4

My bio picture was created by @sakura-artist <3

#about me #personal #tumblr bio #artists on tumblr #writers on tumblr #looking for friends #looking for mutuals

7 notes · View notes

beezhoney12 · 3 years

Text

Pro Hero!Shoto Todoroki X Bimbo!Reader

SFW Headcannons

i’m gonna make an NSFW one in like 30 minutes be prepared because i have like no shame 💀

You and Shoto are the complete opposite bf and gf dynamic. He loves you with all his heart but he has no idea how it started he has no idea how someone as serious and boring as him, got someone as Bubbly and cute as you.

you and him were in your second year of U.A when you met you were part of the general studies class assigned to shotos group for a school wide project, at first he found you a bit…concerning you were clumsy, dismissive, and couldn’t focus on a subject. But after spending one on one time with you he was head over heels he thought you were an actual angel 😭

He likes explaining things to you because you always tell him how cool he is for knowing that stuff also he finds it really funny to figure out how ur brain thinks

“so you’re telling me the bald man did not invent capitalism in america”

“yes my love jeff Bezos did not invent capitalism”

“then why does he have the bitcoin didnt he like make it”

“that’s not the same thing sweetheart” he said as he placed a kiss on ur forehead

He also loves watching you do like little fashion shows for him like you’ll come back from the mall to your shared home or apartment and walk in with like dozens of bags. “sho do you wanna see all the stuff i got” “of course let me make room”

He gets very excited and takes pictures of you trying on every outfit. He’ll do the same thing with your hair or makeup one time you asked him to curl your hair because your curler broke and he was so focused. and he loves making your sheet facemasks cold for you when you guys do skincare days

he is more then willing to do the facemasks with you and he even puts on one of those cute hair pieces and you take like a bunch of photos for your instagram 😻

When you have to go to like formal events with him he likes matching outfits with you like not so obvious matching but someone will probably connect the dots

When he’s like sitting down doing taxes or the mortgage you say you wanna help but he doesn’t want to frustrate you so he just lets you sit in his lap and watch him or once in a while read him some titles of things

you update his instagram for him because he never posts unless it’s pictures of you or you and him together

whenever you have to go run errand shoto always try’s to plan his days off to align with your errand days. he figured it’s better to accompany so you don’t get lonely (and so that he’s not so worried about you)

He figured out he needs to run errands with you one day after this guy at the car shop overpriced you for an oil change he showed up at the car shop after you told him about it and started yelling at the guy 😭

‘m sorry sho, should’ve known he was making me pay too much or something.” “no, no it’s not your fault baby i could never be mad at you for something like this, that bastard has no shame.” he said giving you a kiss

you guys have those subscriptions where they bring fresh food and recipes to your doorstep because you’re not good at doing things without really detailed instructions but y’all still need to eat so when shoto can cook he does but sometimes he’s super busy at work so you end up doing one of the recipes the subscription gives you

if you guys have any dogs or cats and they cause trouble you’re probably the one that gets them out of trouble with shoto every time. “no baby no don’t put him in his crate he didn’t mean it he’s just a puppy” you say to shoto while struggling to hold your dog in your arms. “it was just an accident right bubs it’s just an accident? say sorry daddy” you say speaking to your dog while kissing him on his lil head.

shoto gets very jealous if you have pets together 😭 you’re just a very loving person but he wants that only for him.

you try to have conversations with him on current events without sounding completely stupid and he really appreciates that you try but he finds the conversations more cute then philosophical or analytical especially when you try to pronounce big words the article said

tag list <3: @witchbettie

#shoto todoroki x reader #pro hero shoto #shoto fluff #bimbo!reader #shoto x y/n #shouto x y/n #pro hero shouto #shouto fluff #bnha fluff #bnha shouto #shouto x reader #todoroki shouto #shoto #shoto x reader #shoto todoroki #shoto x you

677 notes · View notes

confusedwitch · 3 years

Text

Witch-Related Books to Grab off Amazon: Masterpost Part 1

First off, I'll be sectioning this into different parts based off of what type of witch you are/want to be/want more info on, or what practices you wanna add to your craft :)

Green Witch/Magick Herbalism (a classic):

The Green Witch by Arin Murphy-Hiscock - $9.69 (Hardcover): This book had incredible reviews on amazon, and a lot of the written reviews said that the book wasn't specific to a religion and didn't try to push a religion on you, which is so wonderful because not everyone wants to be religious with their craft.

Plant Witchery by Juliet Diaz - $25.19 (Hardcover) $18.99 (Paperback): Again, stunning reviews, just a less popular book. This book isn't about general stuff, but instead it's more focused on mother nature and the useage of plants (non-herbal as well, so your houseplants might be mentioned too), which is great if you wanna center your practice around Gaia and the healing energies of the earth.

Herb Magick: An Introduction to Magickal Herbalism and Spells by Patti Wigington - $14.99 (Paperback): here's a review from a verified person- it explained this book WAY better than I ever could:

The focus of this book is on the folkloric and magical uses of herbs, rather than medicinal applications. It provides a few traditional uses of herbs, but the overall theme is knowledge of the plants and their associations, and incorporating them in your spiritual workings. This is an Introductory to Magical Herbalism.

The author's spiritual practice is rooted in traditional American and European Folk Magic. She is a licensed Pagan Clergy and is the founder of Clan Of The Stone Circle, a Celtic Pagan Tradition. (Funny, anything Celtic has been pulling my attention feelers lately, no wonder why I loved this book.) Her spells are derived/based upon the traditional folk magic practices of Western Europe and the British Isles, and the author's own experiences. They are positive spells for magical intentions of healing, love, prosperity, and protection. Baneful or negative workings with herbs are NOT used in this book.

The aesthetic of this book has my little, beginner herbalist heart gushing! The blue, green, and yellow earthy tones and hues used were perfect for the topic of herbs! The cover is GORGEOUS! It's so pretty and flowery, the illustrated pictures of the herbs were extremely helpful because I had never seen some of the plants before. This will make future identification much easier for me!

Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs by Scott Cunningham - $16.43 (Paperback): A couple reviews describe it as being in a cookbook format, and overall an amazing book, like most of Scott Cunningham's other works. Apparently the Amazon shipping was literal trash for a bunch of people and they essentially left the book loose inside the box to bang around and get all sorts of messed up :((

The Witch's Herbal Apothecary by Marysia Miernowska - $18.69 (Paperback): Described by reviewers as the PERFECT book for recipes and rituals, even one of Marysia's personal students spoke very highly of her, saying that she's the real deal. Other reviews state the book as being very beginner friendly, and beautifully written and illustrated :))

Blackthorn's Botanical Magic: The Green Witch's Guide to Essential Oils for Spellcraft, Ritual, and Healing by Amy Blackthorn - $15.79 (Paperback): again, phenomenal reviews, just a lesser-known book. Again, here's a review from someone who explained the book a bit better than I could:

This book is way more than I thought it would be. I thought it would be like a dictionary - you look up the essential oil and get the definition. It is that but it's also got a few introductory chapters about oils and products and rituals to give you a nice and concise overview of a lot of things you might need to know as a novice. I also like the way you can reference different oils in alpha order but also look up your purpose and find the oil you need.

From the looks of it, this book is specifically about Essential Oils. Is that still Green Witchery?? Lol I'm not sure, but i felt like it should go in this category.

Kitchen Witch (another classic):

Blackthorn's Botanical Brews by Amy Blackthorn - $14.49 (Hardcover): this is mainly a book of recipes for drinks and cocktails and stuff. There was one review complaining about how it didn't have correspondences, meanwhile the book is literally described as being a recipe book? It's an AMAZING book if you enjoy/want to start making homemade elixirs and cocktails :))

The Natural Witch's Cookbook: 100 Magickal, Healing Recipes, and Herbal Remedies to Nourish Body, Mind, and Spirit by Lisanna Wallace - $20.69 (hardcover): This is again just a book of recipes, and the reviews are really good. Here's one of them:

I wanted to write the review as soon as I got the book. I was not expecting this book to be so fantastic. The recipes are very nutritious and the names are very inventive, but I could see that before I tried the recipes. I held off on writing the review until I tasted a few of the recipes. Even my kids were very happy with the flavors of these recipes. They are mostly easy to make and they are very delicious. Be aware though that the food can only be as great as the quality of the ingredients that you get. These are not recipes that call for complicated or fancy ingredients, or even a lot of ingredients. As a result, you have to use the best that you can find/afford to get the best results you can. I did not use expensive ingredients, but everything I used was very fresh and it does make a difference on the outcome. Overall, the book have some great recipes, easy to follow and the end result does look like the ones on the picture.

The Book of Kitchen Witchery by Cerridwen Greenleaf - $12.89 (Paperback):

I am so pleased with this book. It’s so magical and warm. Sometimes the new age genre can be a little too technical or focus too much on religion or putting down particular religions... this was not like that. There are so many lovely tips and easy spells and recipes that are kept fairly light so you can make them your own. The book just makes me happy, it has an energy to it that goes right along with it’s artsy illustrations and at-a-glance format. This will be a great reference. Very grateful to everyone who made this book possible.

A former editor said that there were a few editing mistakes, but nothing too crazy. If that's one of your pet peeves, just beware when buying this book lol (btw the editor still have a 4 star review because they said the book is still very good)

Potions, Elixirs & Brews by Anaïs Alexandre - $12.79 (Hardcover): I just had to include both of these amazing reviews, since both said what the other review did not.

This book is so gorgeous and everything I have been looking for in regards to potions. I love her writing style and the way the book looks. Highly informative and I can feel her good intentions behind the book. She is very intelligent. I respect her and I am inspired by her! I found her by chance looking up books for potions, she also has Instagram! Very grateful, amazing book thank you:-) so happy to be the first comment:p excited to see what else amazing things come from Anais!

And

I adore this book. The art and setup is simplistic and beautiful. There is a system that tells you exactly how difficult each potion will be to make, whether or not it’s alcoholic, and what is the ideal season to make it in. The instructions are clear, the preliminary information is well done, and there’s even a section for brewing large batches which I LOVE. The weight of the book is nice and it feels of good quality. The papers are glossy and, I haven’t yet, but I feel like it won’t be a disaster If you get some of your creation on it. The book is separated into types of potions depending on your intent. This is a perfect book for anyone new to making potions or is interested in a magickal recipe book!

The Witches Feast: A Kitchen Grimoire by Melissa Madara - $35 (Hardcover): This book actually isn't out yet, but it'll be released on October 26th of this year (2021). It looks promising, which is why I put it on the list, and for that much money, it better be good lol

Lunar/Moon/Astrology Witch:

The Complete Guide to Astrology by Louise Edington - $9.49 (Paperback) $22.99 (Hardcover): There's amazing reviews on this book, and one of them said that she's been researching astrology for 23 years!! Here's the review in it's entirety:

I've been a student of Astrology for the past 23 years now, and have read most of the books on this subject that are considered foundational. Many guides to astrology that I page through in a bookstore are fine, but covering information I already know. What I so appreciated about Edington's new book is that she brings a new angle to even the basics of Astrology. Her book feels like a fresh update, more appropriate to our current time in terms of language and sensibility. There are no "evil" aspects or transits in Edington's view, no dark warnings of disaster; her evolutionary perspective encourages us to see the opportunity in even the most challenging times, what can be learned, what can be accomplished. As she says in her book, she doesn't look at the natal chart as something fixed, unchanging, rather a "blueprint rich in meaning and possibility."

I also admired Edington's extensive knowledge of the stories behind the names and symbology used in Astrology: sharing her interpretations of them, how they are useful, how they can be limiting. Concepts I thought I already understood have been unpacked in greater depth by the author, so that I see deeper layers.

This text is beautifully written, well-organized, offering a fresh update, as well as a deeper dive than many astrology texts. This book is an invaluable resource I'll be returning to, and consulting, with appreciation.

Moon Spells: How to Use the Phases of the Moon to Get What You Want by Diane Ahlquist - $11.35 (Paperback): This book is a bit older fashioned in the sense that it's VERY heteronormative, we're talking about love magick SPECIFICALLY for men and all about being a father, and a section of love magick SPECIFICALLY for women and being a mother. So if this gets on your nerves, then i wouldn't recommend this book. Other than that, the reviews are very good and they describe the book as being a must-have for lunar witches.

The Complete Book of Moon Spells by Michael Herkes - $13.49 (Paperback): Yes, this book was written by a man. If that's something that might make you not want to purchase, please look at this and also keep in mind that SO MANY of the most highly esteemed witches of the world ARE MEN. So if you wanna be closed off and refuse their help and their knowledge, go ahead sis, I'm not stopping you.

He's most definitely not just "some guy". Aside from that, this book has very good reviews. Some people called it "fluffy" and a bit less serious then they anticipated, but it's very good for beginner witches who are finally wanting to start doing spells. Here's a review.

In this book you explore ways to conjure the mysterious power of the moon to manifest your intentions to achieve abundance and balance in your life! Each chapter is devoted to one of the eight phases of the moon and includes various spells, tarot spreads, crystal grids and potions that reflect that phase of the moon!

This is an overall amazing book if you want to build a foundation of learning about the history of the moon, astrology, cycles & phases, ritual tools, crystals, herbs, and essential oils- as well as the moon spells and rituals.

This is one of my new favorite books! I feel so connected to the moon and this book is a great reference for learning the best rituals and spells to use for the different moon phases and energies surrounding them! It’s easy to follow and the lunar rituals, mystical spells and magical drinks are so vibrant, creative and helpful in my spiritual journey. I’d recommend this book to anyone that loves the moon like I do.

Moon Magic: A Handbooks of Lunar Cycles, Lore, and Mystical Energies by Aurora Kane - $19.99 (Hardcover, although there's only three left when I'm looking at it) $9.99 (Kindle):

One review said that the book much surpassed their expectations, and another review said this:

I absolutely adore this book.

If you're just a beginner and want to understand the different moon phases, this is the book to get.

The information inside was extremely helpful without being overly complicated.

Well worth the money spent.

Astrology: Using the Wisdom of the Stars in Your Everyday Life by DK - $14.59 (Hardcover):

I saw this in store and was immediately drawn to it's beautiful and shiny cover! But when I open it, the inside is just as beautiful! I love looking through the pages. I would say it is a very good basic astrology book, but I have another one that gives much more detail. I like this one for more of a quick reference kind of book. It's more of a bullet point style book, where it gives little tidbits instead of paragraphs going in depth. (Though some pages do have paragraphs) BUT, it covers just about everything including all the houses, moon signs, and ascending signs. It covers everything, but it just covers he tip of the iceberg. (In my opinion) I still absolutely recommend it!

Apparently this book is also available in Barnes and Noble, so if you have access to one, you might wanna look there for the book before purchasing off of Amazon :)

Misc Books (General):

The Spell Book for New Witches: Essential Spells to Change Your Life by Ambrosia Hawthorn - $10.19 (Paperback) $20.69 (Hardcover):

This book... It's a very good spell book, and is true in the spells it contains, but MY biggest problem with it is that it's V E R Y Wiccan, and seems almost preachy about the "Threefold Law" and what they like to call "karma". Choosing not to do dark magick is PERFECTLY FINE and being Wiccan is totally okay! But don't be like Christianity and rub it in people's faces, dude. The book talks about how you can ONLY practice "love and light". Other than that, this book is AMAZING and rated literally 5 stars with over 11K reviews. If you lean more Wiccan, by ALL means, buy this spellbook. It's the one for you.

Practical Magic for Beginners by Maggie Haseman - $13.49 (Paperback)

This book is fantastic for the witch who wants to learn more about her craft but doesn't know where to start. Each subject is broken down into easy to absorb bits of wisdom without being overwhelming. A great jumping off place to decide where to dive in deep next.

This book is very comprehensive, and is a great reference guide for beginner witches, or witches looking to add another book to their collection.

Candle Magic For Beginners by Mystic Dylan - $10.86 (Paperback) $21.99 (Spiral bound)

This book is a must have for anyone looking to deepen their connection with the magical element of fire, ritual, and spell work through candle magic! Dylan not only teaches you how to use candle magic for things such as protection, abundance, love, healing, and more, but takes you through the fascinating history of the power of fire & how to properly charge, cleanse, and consecrate your candles to begin manifesting your deepest desires!!! Overall, the book is beautifully written with gorgeous illustration and will hook you from the start!!!!!!!

This book is perfect for beginners to candle magick, or beginners to the craft in general. I personally LOVE candle magic because I've always been attracted to fire. I could void out and just stare at a flame for hours on end lol

Crystals for Beginners by Karen Frazier - $8.99 (Paperback) $20.95 (Spiral bound)

Absolutely love this book!! It’s so informative! I am a beginner and this book explains a lot. Everything a beginner would need to know about crystals is in this book. I am so pleased with it. Best purchase of the week! Definitely worth it. The author explains crystals, chakras and energy so enthusiastically and in a way that is easy to understand. At the end of the book, is a “resources” page with all the websites, books and apps that the Author recommends.

Again, very beginner friendly, but this time it's not spells, it's crystals and such. I've personally been wanting this book for AGES

The Crystal Bible Series by Judy Hall - $38.99 (Volume 1-3 shrink-wrapped set, paperback):

This is my first purchase of the three-part series by Judy Hall. Volume 1 covers over 200 crystals! I can already tell you I'll be purchasing volumes 2 and 3 (each of which cover 200+ MORE crystals/stones, not included in volume 1) I love how each crystal description includes photos to further help in identification. I also appreciate that rarity and sources were included. Information about the spiritual and physical impacts of crystals on the body is in there as well! This book is loaded with a lot of great information and is the perfect quick reference. It's also small and fits easily in my hand. I highly recommend it for beginners.

This is a review from just the first book, and it's from a verified hauler/buyer :)) these aren't exactly newbie friendly, and some people say they're a bit harder to understand.

108 notes · View notes

lockefanfic · 3 years

Text

The Girl with the Purple Hair

A/N: No smut here, guys, sorry to disappoint you - just some fluff. I wrote this fic literally four (!) years ago - one of my first k-pop fics and my first non-smut fic. I never reposted it here for some reason, but an ask I received recently got me to re-read it and I remembered how proud I was of it when I wrote it, so here it is. Please don’t judge me :P

---

Purple.

It’s the first word that comes to mind when you see her. And how could it not be, given the color of her hair? It’s not like purple hair is a common thing - not like there are other people in the noisy, crowded bar that have purple hair. In fact, this is probably the first time you’ve seen someone in person with purple hair. Normal people had normal colored hair, like black or brown or blonde. Her hair isn’t some lazy dye job, either, with shades and highlights and a gradient to the violet strands.

You don’t want to be caught staring, and so you steal glances at her every now and then, and every time you look her way, the first thing you notice is the wavy strands of purple as they play about her shoulders, falling lazily down like a waterfall on an alien world, where the water happens to be purple.

Beautiful.

It’s the next word that comes to mind, because were anyone to look just a little past the eye-dazzling color of her hair, they’d find a beautiful face, made with delicate, small features. She is traditionally beautiful in the sense that any man or woman would agree with you if you said “here is an attractive human being.” There is a timelessness, a universality to her beauty. She could have been born a hundred years ago and still be considered pleasing to the eye - purple hair aside, she could be a painting of a woman from a time gone by, dressed up in the fashion of a model from the magazines of today.

There is a playfulness about her features at the moment, as she indulges in conversation with the three other girls at her table. Her three friends are nothing to sneeze at, but she makes them all pale in comparison - part of it is the ridiculous, daring color of her hair, but there is something more than that. She possesses a magnetism, an allure that makes her stand out amongst three girls that, were they anywhere else, would easily be the most attractive girls in the room.

You’re not alone either, sitting as you are with a few of your friends at your own table on the other side of the small bar. It is Friday evening, and as is custom with your co-workers, you all headed to the bar to celebrate another week gone by. But they are currently immersed in a conversation about some work-related topic, some absent co-worker or client (you weren’t really sure anymore) that was frustrating them. Uninterested in the topic, you found your attention drifting, naturally, to the girl with the purple hair.

You notice that she has a certain aloofness about her, a certain detached nature from the conversation her three friends are having, and for a moment you wonder if perhaps she is in the same boat as you - stuck at a bar with friends who are babbling about co-workers or video games or guys or shopping or cars or clothes or those girls in the random k-pop video playing on one of the big screen TVs, when clearly you’d rather be anywhere but there.

The other three girls seem like average girls, typical of the type you’d see at a downtown bar on a Friday night, out to have a good time with friends whilst under the influence of perhaps one too many alcoholic beverages. They are the type that would head to a club after they are sufficiently liquored up at this bar, spend the night dancing, post a group picture on Instagram when the night is at its peak, and then make a post on Facebook about how awesome it was the day after.

But the girl with the purple hair seems different from the other three.

She lets her gaze wander, and for a split second you are afraid again that perhaps she would catch you staring, but thankfully her eyes drift in a direction opposite from you. She lets a small, almost imperceptible sigh escape her lips, and you wonder if perhaps she would rather be somewhere else, perhaps at home on the couch binge watching some random show on Netflix, or playing Overwatch, or indulging in some random artistic pursuit that you didn’t even know existed.

She seems like the type that would play Overwatch. She seems like the type that paints, or makes her own earrings that she sells on Etsy, or likes to watch movies in foreign languages. Maybe she watches them with the subtitles off sometimes, just to see if she can understand what they’re talking about simply from the universality of gestures made by foreign hands and the tones of foreign voices coming from foreign mouths.

The sudden realization that you are framing this random girl in your mind rattles you a bit, and you smile to yourself as you shake your head, as if to rid those stupid, childish thoughts. You didn’t know this girl, not even in the slightest, and it was wrong of you to impose a character, a personality, on someone you knew nothing about.

You play idly with the small glass of whiskey in your hand, watching as the amber brown liquid swirls about. You take a sip and appreciate the warm taste of it in your mouth and down your throat, appreciating the soft burn, the soft warmth it leaves behind.

You take a moment to try to tune back into the conversation your friends are having, but they are knee-deep in a conversation about a Super Nintendo game. You loved vintage games - there was something about the original plastic in your hands, and the classic, blocky pixels on your screen, that made it feel more authentic in the way an emulator on a modern console could never be.

You are about to join in on the conversation, about to tell your friends about some random game you picked up online, when a movement on the other side of the bar catches your attention - the girl in the purple hair is raising a glass. One of her friends is speaking earnestly, it appears, and after finishing her little speech the brunette girl next to her gives her a hug - perhaps it was a toast? Perhaps it is the brunette’s birthday? It probably was. Either way, the girls clink their glasses together, and down their shots in one gulp.

The girl in the purple hair scrunches her face as she forces the strong liquor down her throat. Immediately you think that perhaps it the cutest thing you’d ever witnessed, and you find that a small smile has appeared, unconsciously, on your lips.

The four girls share that wonderful post-shot reaction with each other, complaining about how awesome that small bit of alcohol they just had was. Together three of them tease the orange-haired, thin girl who is struggling with the alcohol and having a coughing fit. They laugh and one of them grabs her phone to take a picture of the poor girl, who, to her credit, is laughing along with them, probably out of embarrassment.

The girl with the purple hair joins in on the fun, saying something that must have been hilarious, for all three of her companions burst out in laughter - including the thin girl struggling with the shot. The girl smiles, and her eyes narrow to thin half-arcs. In that moment she is the picture of happiness and joy.

She says something else to her group - you assume it is her declaring that the next round is on her. She stands, and the girls make way for her to leave their table.

For the first time you get a glimpse of her from head to toe. She is wearing a short, black dress, and what appears to be a grey patterned collared shirt beneath it. The dress is plain and relatively short but not overly so, showing off her long, slender legs without being improper or overly suggestive. It’s an interesting outfit; classy enough to be worn to work, whilst casual enough for a night out with the girls.

Here again she differs from her compatriots, who appear to be dressed in typical club girl outfits, with short tops and skirts, heels and small, glamorous purses and accessories. If ever there was a club girl starter kit, they were perfect models.

But the girl with the purple hair, as you’ve come to see, is a little different from her friends.

You watch as she approaches the bar. There is an elegance in the way she walks, which is admirable considering the alcohol you presume she’s consumed thus far this evening.

Later on, you’ll wonder where your sudden burst of confidence came from. But at that moment, when the girl with the purple hair reaches the bar and tries, unsuccessfully, to flag down the overly busy bartender, you see an opportunity.

Hastily, you mumble something to your friends about grabbing the next round, and step away from the table. Out of the corner of your ear, you hear one of your friends wonder where you’re going, and another say that you still have an almost full pitcher at your table - but they are irrelevant now. Nothing else exists aside from the thirty feet between you and the spot at the bar next to the girl with the purple hair.

Where did this come from, this sudden burst of confidence, this sudden need to get up and go over to this girl to talk to her? Was it the liquor, the liquid confidence coursing through your veins? No. It was the desire, nay, the need to speak to this girl, the need to see if she really was everything you’d built up in your mind. You needed to speak to her, to ask her her name, maybe find out a little about her. Even if she shot you down before you could get a sentence out, well, at least you had tried. You couldn’t bear the thought of wondering what might have been had you not done something.

Ten feet away. You take a deep breath, and ready what you are about to say in your mind. Some comment about her hair? A stupid, corny joke, just to break the ice?

Five feet away. Maybe some witty comment about bad bartenders?

Two feet - and suddenly your thoughts disappear, and your mind goes blank as the girl with the purple hair turns her head and makes eye contact with you. Later you would realize that moment seemed to go on forever. You were hardly the mushy, sentimental type, but you finally understood why the movies slow that moment down, why the soft music plays in the background during those scenes. You wonder if this is what it feels like when someone who will be important in your life looks at you for the first time.

You are relieved, beyond words, to see a smile appear on her lips.

You smile back, although you wonder if perhaps the nervousness coursing throughout every fibre of your being is having an effect on your smile, and if you are actually grimacing oddly at her instead of smiling. But your mouth and lips miraculously follow the orders sent to them by your dazzled mind, because her smile widens a little bit in the way that smiles do when they are returned.

It is just a second, maybe two, of the many billions of seconds in your life, but it felt like an eternity.

You reach the bar, your legs - your wonderful, reliable, stable legs - by some miracle not failing you and delivering you safely to the bar without collapsing due to sheer nervousness. You remember who you are, what you came here to do, and you try to act as casual as your nerves could allow you to. You make a show of trying to flag down the bartender, but he is busy on the other end of the bar catering to some especially loud patrons.

Your mind is racing, trying and failing to remember what it was you were going to say to the girl with the purple hair, your nerves suddenly afire at the mere proximity of the young woman you’d been stealing glances at all night. You were far from inexperienced with the opposite sex, far from being some timid fool when it came to approaching them. But this one was different. This one was special.

Maybe you should just say hi. Start simple, y’know? But dammit, that never works. You needed something witty, something memorable, something that would make her laugh and giggle and think ‘clearly this man’s shirt is made of boyfriend material and I should throw myself into his arms posthaste.’ You don’t get that with hi!. No one gets that with hi. Girls want someone cocky and confident and sure of himself. No one ever just says hi! You know who approaches girls and says hi? Single guys, that’s who! Don’t just say hi!

Dammit! What were you going to say? Your mind races, tries to think back to other times you’d approached girls, tries to remember what you said to them when you were successful. Gah! Your mind fails you, returns only a simple blank slate, as though your mind had put on its hat and jacket, hung up a sign that said “you’re on your own, kid,” and then started to walk home.

You tap your fingers nervously on the bar surface, trying, and perhaps failing, to appear as casual as possible as you stare, blankly, in the general direction of the too-busy bartender as he struggles to pour the correct kinds of alcohol in the correct kinds of glasses in the correct proportions.

Clearly you needed to make some witty comment to break the ice. A small joke, perhaps? A corny one, or a genuinely funny one? What was a good joke… dammit! Damn you, mind, and your vacation time! Perhaps mention something… about… sports! Yes, it was a bar, and there were sports playing on the TVs. Maybe she was a hockey fan? Or soccer? What if she liked one, but not the other? Which sport had the highest proportion of purple haired fans? What if she thought sports were stupid, a male-dominated dick measuring contest that wasn’t worth her time or attention, and she thought less of you for liking them? Dammit!

Maybe you should comment on her hair? Maybe something along the lines of… perhaps… using her hair to get the bartender’s attention? Then segue into how it got your attention. That’s it. Hahahaha, you laugh nervously in your mind’s eye. Then she would say how she was hoping you’d come over to talk to her, and you’d say she was awesome and you’d go on a date the next day and get married a month after that and later you’d have kids and live happily ever-

There is a soft tap on your forearm. You turn, nervously, to the girl with the purple hair, and the sight of her face, her eyes locked on yours, that bright smile once again on her lips, causes your heart to skip a beat like it was a crack on the sidewalk.

The next day, when you’d recovered from the whirlwind of the night’s events, you’d realize that her first words to you, the first sounds you’d hear from her voice, would sound like music. And it was crazy, considering it was just a single syllable, a single word, but someone could have told you that the entirety of Beethoven’s works were held within that syllable, and you’d have believed it.

The girl with the purple hair’s mouth opens, her lips part, a she leans towards you with a soft smile and says:

“...Hi.”

#kpop fanfiction #kpop fanfic #male reader #blackpink jisoo #Kim Jisoo #fluff

140 notes · View notes

mysticalarbitertyrant · 3 years

Text

Are You a Technowitch?

Some people happily identify with that moniker; others would bristle at the thought...and most of us are somewhere in the middle.

So what IS a TechnoWitch, anyway? (These are my own definitions, for what they're worth.)

A TechnoWitch is someone who utilizes whatever technology is around them, in addition to whatever other magical tools they have nearby to accomplish their magical ends - but it definitely includes a tech component.

Technomagic is when modern technology currently available is used in unexpected ways to perform magic. Some of these 'unexpected ways' to use tech may be quite different than their original intended uses.

Technomancy (also my own definition, for right or wrong) is magic that uses technology to its limit, is more...arcane in nature, and is purposefully seeking the limits of where the pairing can go, falling directly into the realm of chaos magic.

In my mind, if you were to compare them directly, I'd see technomagic as "convenience-driven,” while technomancy would be planned and ‘experimental.’

So... After reading the definitions, I ask again:

Are YOU a TechnoWitch?

Of the witchy people I've spoken with, many would answer that question 'no,'...until they start thinking of all the apps on their phone, or that their witchy businesses are conducted mostly online, and many of their books are on apps... I could keep going, but you get the picture. Once they take stock of things - really stop and look - they realize they are more of a technowitch than they originally would've believed. Or...if they aren't quite willing to claim the title 'technowitch' - they find themselves in the position of admitting they're using technology and magic, and didn't realize they did, which in a way, is worse. That's the scenario we routinely caution newbie witches about. When you use magic without understanding what you do, the results can backfire. You either get nothing, or something you didn't intend for (at best), or it spectacularly backfires and you end up with a worse situation than whatever you were magicking for (at worst).

As technology around us continues to grow and expand, and so does the number of youthful witches who are unafraid of technology who have no qualms about combining the two, we need to ask ourselves some really hard, honest questions:

Where is this magic, and magic in general going?

How far can you take the combination of magic and tech?

What are the good points?

Are there any drawbacks?

How is technomagic being used?

Is it apps?

Is it my computer, or browser?

Is it my KitchenAid mixer? My smart appliances?

Is it Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and every other social media platform?

Is it all of it?

Where is the line drawn before something goes from being mundane to magical?

Is it being used against us, without our knowledge or explicit consent?

Do you recognize the various types of techno-spells when you come across them?

Ultimately, if you aren't aware that something IS magical, when you see it and don't recognize it for what is is...it can be used against you. Don't let yourself be caught unawares.

Don't let others co-opt your power.

I started researching the topic of TechnoMagic when I began to write a story for my next book in the "Magic Abounds" series. It's about a woman with Aspbergers' Syndrome, who spends most of her time in Second Life. She starts doing magic in-world, not realizing that it can effect the real world...and drama ensues.

As I began to research, I realized some things: first, that I was more of a technowitch than I thought, and I began to see that technomagic surrounds us as witches use the objects around them in magical ways - sometimes intentionally, and other times, without realizing they are. I also realized that social media is rife with magic - in good ways, and in bad ways, and some of the bad ways are insidious, and dare I say it - borderline evil. I don't normally define things (particularly magic) as black and white or good and evil, but... How else would you term a magic where someone is trying to do magic intentionally, while flying under the radar unnoticed, and attempting to get you to use YOUR power to power THEIR magic? Go ahead. Try to find a different way to define that other than evil. I couldn't find another way. Be aware of what you like and share.

Interested?

TechnoWitch will be released this month (Sept 2021)! Whether you love or hate the combination of technology and magic, join the conversation. We're at an amazing time and place in history. We get to decide where magic goes from here.

Special thanks go out to those of you on Tumblr that took the time to answer questions and have some really interesting discussions!

#technowitch #technowitchbook #technomagic #technomagick #techno witchcraft #chaos magick #witchcraft #cyber witchcraft #cyberwitch #cyber witch #technomancy

62 notes · View notes

moonlit-raven-haven · 4 years

Text

The Past

Where the reader and Harry no longer speak.

This is unedited!

Word Count: Just a bit over 3k

Warnings: angst

A/N: It’s been a minute since I’ve written something...I’m afraid it strays away from Keanu Reeves content though...sorry, but my love for Harry Styles can no longer be contained!

Inspired by the edit below from Instagram :)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 𝕤𝕜𝕪 (@stylessr1) on Oct 2, 2020 at 3:19pm PDT

instagram

It has been several years since Harry left Holmes Chapel, but the small town still held the title of home. His mum, sister, friends, mentors, first job, first love, first heartbreak, and many other people and memories live within the borders of the large village that is Holmes Chapel. But beyond the people and memories he holds close to his heart, the one person that made him miss his quiet life was Y/N; his best friend.

Y/N had been there from the beginning, witnessing all of the important moments in his life. From losing his first baby tooth, to joining One Direction, she never left his side, and he never left hers. The two were inseparable. But time passes, and life changes, even when we want so desperately to grab onto our current lives, wishing that some things will never change.

When Harry joined One Direction, she was thrilled; proud, and happy to see her best friend fulfilling his dreams. And that feeling didn’t stop when he went on his first tour with the band,even if it meant that he would no longer be working with her at W Mandeville bakery, talking in between customers that walked into the shop for their morning coffee and bread. Or that they could no longer see each other daily, cuddled up together on his mum’s couch as they watched reruns of their favorite television shows after finishing hours of schoolwork. But when you’re sixteen years old, you think that friendships last forever.

Y/N and Harry texted and called on a daily basis, only stopping to rest their eyes, sometimes their fingers still wrapped loosely around phones when their eyes finally shut, sometimes soft breathing being heard on the other line. But within months of One Direction’s fame skyrocketing, the texts became more scattered, the time stamps now hours apart from one another, when before they would be within the same minute. The calls went from everyday, to every other day, until eventually they stopped all together, turning into a monthly call to check on one another. The loss of contact was slow, but never quite complete.

Every break Harry would have from his life as a star sent him back to Holmes Chapel where he would embrace his best friend and tell her about all the cool places he traveled to while on tour, the new people, and the new memories he made. And after he would finally give her every detail of his new life, the one she wasn’t a part of, they would bring snacks up to her room, cuddle up, and watch reruns of their favorite television shows into the late hours of the night, finally falling asleep holding on to each other, scared that moments like this would cease to exist, and they did.

It became a tradition of theirs after the first tour. Harry would get home to his mum’s after being gone for months at a time, drop off his bags, eat a meal with Anne and Gemma, and then head off to Y/N’s mum’s house. He would knock on the door only to be greeted by her mom smiling and telling Harry where Y/N was at, and he would practically run to her location, wrapping her in a tight hug that would knock the air out of her lungs. Then her mom would make them tea, and they would find themselves leaning against the kitchen counter with warm mugs in their hands as he told his stories. Once he was tired, or out of stories to tell, they would put their empty and cold mugs in the sink before grabbing snacks from her kitchen, the snacks she would specifically ask her mum to buy for his return, and head up to her room. They would cuddle up together and gorge on snacks before unintentionally falling asleep, wrappers scattered around them as Y/N’s mum walked in and smiled, pulling out her cell to snap a picture and send it to Anne, writing “Seems like Harry is spending the night :)” before hitting send.

By One Direction’s fourth and final tour, things had changed quite a bit. Y/N now had her own flat, where Harry would stay whenever he came to Holmes Chapel, staying at his mum’s house only for a few days before heading back to her place. She had an education she was satisfied with, and had a stable job at a publishing company, working as a successful editor, one of the youngest the company had. Harry had informed her that One Direction split up before the news hit the headlines over a cup of tea, leaning against the counter as they always did when he was gone for long periods of time. There was a comfortable silence as the pair had sipped their tea, Y/N allowing Harry to gather his thoughts before speaking.

“I dunno love…I reckon I’m upset about the band breaking up...but maybe it’s a good thing for us y’know?...” Harry trailed off when his eyes got misty, earning a small frown from the girl that was next to him as she put her mug down and wrapped her arms around his waist, careful not to knock his cup of tea out of his hands. Harry couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face in that moment despite the emotion that had overcome him. He put the mug down next to her own and wrapped his arms tightly around Y/N, breathing in her scent when he rested his chin on her head. She was home to him, bringing him comfort even when it seemed things weren’t going well.

“Maybe I can start a solo career...release music I want...have m’own tours...have you by my side...traveling the world together.” Harry had said with the small upturn of his lips as he swayed them side to side in the small kitchen.

“You would want that?...For me to travel the world with you?” Y/N’s voice was muffled by the soft fabric of his sweatshirt as her face was pressed against his chest. She swayed side to side with him, the movement coming naturally, not being forced by Harry, but rather being brought on by the comfort he brings her.

“O’course I would want that love...it’s always gonna be you and I against the world…”’ He has said softly, being content with the feeling of the warmth radiating off her body and onto his as they held each other in the comfort of their home, swaying side to side to the sound of raindrops hitting the window. But that was five years ago, and where things had gone wrong is still a mystery.

-*-*-*-

Y/N is at work, editing a book for the company’s newest client when she receives a text from Anne. Being in the sanctuary of her own private office, she picks up the phone and smiles at the text.

Anne: Come over for dinner with Gem and I? xx

Y/N: I’ll see you tonight! :)

She types up a quick reply and hits send before setting her phone to the side and focusing her eyes back on the unedited manuscript in front of her. But her mind seems to have other plans, wandering back to him. It has been five years since Y/N has seen or talked to Harry, and she wishes that the ache in her heart will leave, and as time passes, she no longer feels a sharp pain in her heart, but rather a dull pain; a dull ache of longing, longing to see and speak to her best friend again.

She still speaks to Anne and Gemma, seeing them as part of her family. When the first meeting with them occurred a few months after Harry was gone from Y/N’s life, they had asked her what happened between the two, recalling memories of Harry and Y/N from their younger days. The memories made Y/N’s chest tighten as she let out a small laugh, simply shrugging her shoulders as the conversation moved forward, leaving Y/N with a bitter taste in her mouth as she hid the ache in her heart with a smile. That was five years ago.

-*-*-*-

After her shift Y/N gathers her belongings from her desk, deciding to take the Manuscript with her as she has fallen behind due to her wandering thoughts. She puts everything in a brown satchel, one Harry had given her a few months prior to the departure of their friendship, delicately closing the bag and running her fingers over her initials engraved onto the leather with lettering that resembles that of vines. She smiles at the memory that floods her mind.

“Surprise!” Harry had shouted as he practically ran into the flat that he shared with Y/N when he was home. He dropped his bags by the door, going towards their shared room and bed...the one they shared as “friends.” She jumped slightly at the slam of the door and Harry’s voice shouting through the small flat, having been reading a book in bed moments before the loud interruption. But despite being startled and having her attention diverted from the book at hand, she couldn’t help but grin as she got up from the bed and made her way out of their room as fast as her legs could carry her.

Upon reaching the hallway she crashed into Harry, losing her balance momentarily before feeling her feet float through the air, and she couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up in her throat as Harry set her on the ground again, bringing her into his arms and holding her as closely as possible.

“Got a small break from the tour...m’glad you have the day off...now I get to see your beautiful face all day.” Harry had teased as he let go of her, his dopey grin adoring his features despite the bag under his eyes from the jet lag, and his hair being tossed up in five different directions from having slept on the flight. Y/N had laughed and hit his chest gently.

“I gotta be pretty for two since you seem to look like a girl who just got dumped.” She teased back as she made her way towards the kitchen. “Ready for tea?” She questioned him as she pulled out their two favorite mugs and set them on the counter, eager to continue their tradition even if he hadn’t been gone as long this time around.

“Mmm…not yet, love, I got ya a gift.” Harry hummed as he walked back to the door, and picked up a rather large gift bag before he headed back to the kitchen where Y/N raised her eyebrow at him.

“This is new...m’afraid I didn’t get you anything though...shoulda warned me about gift giving…” She mumbled as she watched Harry set the bag on the counter.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, love. It’s a one time thing...plus, I just felt like spoiling ya this one time.” Harry had said, the smile on his face never leaving. “Open it.”

Y/N pulled the large gift bad towards her across the counter, Harry watching her face with admiration and nervousness, hoping she would like the gift. She pulls off the various pieces of tissue paper from the top that were hiding a…

“Harry...it’s gorgeous!” Y/N had said with an excited upturn of her lips as she pulled out a brown leather satchel. She sets it on the counter next to the gift bags and mugs for tea. She runs her fingers over the material, her smile becoming wider as she feels her engraved initials, vines adoring the letters. Harry let’s put a soft breath he was unaware that was trapped in his lungs from nerves, but despite the breath he released, his smile gets even wider.

“‘M so glad you like it Y/N...thought it would be useful for work…plus you’ll seem like even more of a nerd at work, editing your big manuscripts.” Harry teased as he walked over to the stove and turned the kettle on.

“Thank you Harry.” She had said giddily, a smile plastered on her face as she stored the satchel back in the bag before hugging her as tightly as she could, and he embraced her, just as tightly before pulling away. She leaned against the counter as usual and waited for the kettle to sound.

“O’course, love…so last month I was in Spain and…” And just like they went back to their usual routine.

Y/N smiles fondly at the memory, glad she has great memories with him, even if she feels a dull ache in her heart whenever she thinks of him.

-*-*-*-

The drive to Anne’s was filled by Y/N’s loud stereo and singing of the songs she knew. It wasn’t the same without Harry by her side, and despite five years passing, she missed him singing every song perfectly and teasing her for her off key notes. She would roll her eyes at him and take one hand off the steering wheel, gently flicking his arm before resting it back on the wheel in front of her. Harry would laugh and shake his head at her actions, before continuing to sing.

Y/N turns onto Anne’s street, seeing the familiar house she used to spend so much time in, opting to park out on the street, but as she’s about to turn off her car, she hear the familiar beat of a song, his song, and she can’t bring herself to turn the radio off. As the opening lines of “Adore You” begin to play, she finds herself smiling and quietly singing to the song. Despite not hearing from or seeing him in five years, she couldn’t help but still feel proud of the man she had called her best friend for so long. He had worked hard to get to his current status in the music industry, and it finally paid off.

She remembered when she heard his first album, listening to it the same day it was released; it had been two years since they spoke, but her heart was filled with joy. The music had flowed gently through her new flat, her previous residence filled with too many good memories of her and Harry that made her reminisce on what used to be. She had listened to every word he sang so intently it almost had felt as if he was with her, singing songs for her like he used to. But three years later now, she has refused to listen to his newest album, “Fine Line,” afraid that perhaps it would wake up the memories and the ache that she had done so well of burying deep within her.

So deep in thought, Y/N had barely noticed that the song had faded out, now replaced by advertisements and a talk show. She sighed softly, disappointed that her mind had drifted off to him again, it seemed to be something that was more consistent. Slowly she turns off the ignition to her car, setting the keys in the brown satchel in the passenger's seat before climbing out of her car. She closes the door gently and goes around to the passengers side, opening the door and pulling the brown satchel out, Y/N swings it over her shoulder and closes the door, locking the door and heading to Anne’s house.

Y/N walks up the path and knocks in the door, shifting her weight from left to right as she hears some shuffling behind the door before Anne opens the door, smiling brightly.

“Y/N! Come in please! It’s freezing out there.” Anne beckons the girl inside, closing the door behind them as they enter the place that once was like a second home to Y/N. Upon hearing Anne usher Y/N inside, Gemma emerges from the kitchen and grins, engulfing her in a wide hug.

“Gosh how I’ve missed ya! Don’t be a stranger, Y/N.” Gemma exclaims as she pulls away from their embrace. Y/N nods and smiles at the pair as the three of them head over to the table Anne and Gemma have already set up with food and the necessary utensils. Y/N sets her satchel on the corner of the chair she is currently sat on, carrying an easy conversation with Anne and Gemma despite the memories that flooded her mind. Harry would usually be sat next to Y/N, the pair sitting across from Anne and Gemma as they all told stories from their lives away from one another. She remembers how Harry would steal food off of her plate, pretend that he didn’t, and then proceed to share whatever dessert Anne made for them.

After dinner, Y/N offers to wash the dishes as Anne and Gemma go to set up the board games for the game night they usually hold after their meal. She’s washing the final dish when she hears a knock on the door, something rather unusual for the time of day, but she decided to ignore it; perhaps Gemma had invited a date, or a neighbor was in need of some sugar. Y/N begins to rinse the dish as she hears soft footsteps make their way across the living room and the click of locks coming undone before the door opens without a sound. The dish is now rinsed, and just as Y/N puts it on the drying rack, the grip her hands once held to hold the dish is gone, and she feels her heartbeat pick up in a way that’s barely noticeable.

“Hey mum...so sorry I’m late, m’flight got delayed due to the rain that was expected...no sight of it yet though…” The voice was muffled due to the space from the main entrance to the kitchen, but she could recognize it anywhere. It’s the voice that has signified home for years, now one that she hasn’t heard in person for years. Five years to be exact. It’s his voice...Harry’s voice.

-*-*-*-

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this! It’s my first time writing Harry in YEARS.

-*-*-*-

526 notes · View notes

mggssocks · 3 years

Text

Followed

Not My Gif!

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Spencer Reid

Content Warnings: None just fluff :)

Summary: Spencer makes an Instagram and stumbles across reader’s page.

Word Count: 1,899 words

A/N: This is Season 10 Spencer with Season 13 looks. Also, instead of it being Kate on the team, i put Emily instead because who doesn’t love the season 3-7 team? Also I might make a part 2 depending on how much this blows up. Honestly i’d be happy if i got one like. Anyways.. hope you enjoy!!!

masterlist // part 2 // part 3

It was 8:00 in the morning. Spencer walked in the doors of the bullpen to the bau. He sat his satchel down and began to settle in for a long day of work. It was pretty early so the team wasn’t in yet. Except for Aaron Hotchner who had gotten in an hour prior to Spencer and been in his office ever since. Apparently others had the same ‘get to work early’ mindset as Spencer. Spencer opened a case file but his attention was quickly whipped away due to the sound of the door opening. He sees Penelope Garcia with all her attention focused on her phone. Spencer quirked his eyebrows when she bumped into a fellow coworker and her attention remained on her phone while quickly mumbling a quick “sorry”. As she passed his desk, Spencer decided it would be the great time to speak.

“Hey, Garcia.” Her feet came to a stop and her head snapped up at him.

“Boy wonder! I’m so glad you’re here. I really need someone to talk to because if I don’t I’m going to explode!” She sits in the chair across from his desk.

“Is everything alright?” He leaned back in his chair.

“No… no everything is not alright. If anything.. everything is all wrong. Very very wrong. I-“ she takes in a deep breath “I was stalking Kevin’s page because the other day I seen him at the mall with another girl. And while I was 56 weeks down in his page, I accidentally liked a picture.” She explained, in a huff.

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.” Spencer was even more confused now than before she started.

“I liked a picture that he posted 56 weeks ago!” Her eyes were wide.

“How is that a bad thing?” His lips pouted as he’d never understand social media.

“Ugh! Reid, you really need to get with the program and get you an Instagram. That means his picture was old and now he knows that I was looking at his page. You understand now?” She asked.

“Oh. Yeah I understand. It’s bad that he knows you were looking at his page.” He asked as Prentiss, JJ, and Morgan had walked in.

“Yes. And now I must go into the bat cave and wait for him to call or text me and ask what me lurking on his page was about.” She whined as she stomped her way to her office.

“What was that about?” Prentiss asked, setting her bags down on her desk.

“Uhh- rough morning” Spencer shrugged, still not really understanding the whole social media thing.

“Hey do you guys have an Instagram?” He asked the three.

“Yeah but I’m barely on it.” Prentiss answered.

“Same here” says Morgan as he takes a seat at his desk.

“Yeah but I only get on to post the boys and myself sometimes” answers JJ.

“What about Hotch and Rossi?” He asked.

“Yup! Rossi likes to post about his expensive wine and cigars. Hotch posts Jack every once in a while and a throwback Thursday.” JJ says.

Spencer’s eyebrows furrowed for what seems to be the 100th time that day.

“He doesn’t know what that is” Prentiss looks over to JJ.

“It’s something you post like an old picture of yourself every Thursday.” Morgan explains.

“Do you guys do that?” Spencer asked.

“I did last Thursday.” JJ pulls out her phone and opened the app. “This was right after Emily, Penelope, and I caught a guy who was trying to pick up Prentiss by pretending to be an FBI agent a few years ago.” She chuckled showing him a picture.

Spencer takes her phone in his hand and examines the post. 142 likes. 57 comments. He clicks on her name which takes it to her page. 302 followers. As he scrolls, he sees a picture the team took a while ago and sees a little person profile thing the corner and clicks on it causing other names tagged to each individual team member. Except him. After he examined all of their profiles, he gives JJ back her phone and gets to work like the rest of them. He felt a little left out but he knew it was because of his own decisions and not his team. He liked that they didn’t press him about having a social media because they new he was more old school than anything. And it was ironic because he wastage youngest member of the team with the more old school habits.

When Spencer got home he decided he wanted the social media app. The idea of being able to share with his friends and only his friends excited him. Being able to post about his favorite things for his friends to see without talking their ears off.

He opened his phone and went to the app store, typing “instagram” into the search bar. He followed the sites instructions as he made his account. Using a snapshot he took of his bookshelf as his profile picture. He sees the option to add the people in his contact list which was only his team, mom, and his mother’s caretaker. But everyone’s profile popped up and he quickly followed each and every one of them. Except for his mom and her caretaker of course.

Soon enough, he got a follow back from Garcia, Hotch, Rossi, and JJ in that order. Morgan and Prentiss weren’t lying when they said they weren’t on often.

After two weeks, Spencer hasn’t posted anything yet, not knowing what should go on his profile. Morgan and Prentiss ended up following him back and the app ended up adjusting to his interests. Nothing but accounts about interesting facts, books, and doctor who.

It was Friday night and the team had just got back from a case in Chicago. Spencer opened the door to his apartment and set his satchel down on the couch, exhausted. His mind wonders to get something to eat being that he wonders to get something to eat being that he hasn’t ate since before they caught the unsub. Which was about 5 hours and 7 minutes ago but he still needed to get something into his system. Spencer opened his fridge and sees 3 day old Chinese takeout. He shrugs and pops it into the microwave while looking for a book of his to reread while he eats. After he finishes dinner, he gets on his phone and subconsciously pulls up the app. He clicks onto his explore page to discover something else he likes. While scrolling, he sees a picture of someone reading and clicks on it.

765 likes

Yourfriend’sig whenever people ask me what to give you for your birthday or Christmas, I always tell them to get you a book or something green and it works every single time. Happy Birthday to my best buddy, @yourinstagram !

View all 84 comments

Spencer smiles and clicks the heart button and bookmarks it to look at later. He liked the picture. Both the picture and caption reminded him a lot of his own love for books and the color green (hence his apartment).

Once he got out of the shower, he brushed his teeth. He found himself subconsciously scrolling through his instagram bookmarks to find her post. He doesn’t know what it was but something about the picture brought comfort to him. As he brushed his teeth, he clicked on the post once again.This time, he actually clicked on your account. It was a private account with 186 followers. The bio read:

Y/N... bookworm.

Her profile picture consisted of a black cat surrounded by either a bunch of well taken care of plants or artificial ones. His finger hovered over the blue “follow” button. As he bent down to spit his toothpaste out, his thumb accidentally clicked the follow button. But he didn't realize so until he looked down again to see the “follow” button replaced with “requested”. His heart basically drops out of his ass. He quickly clicks the button again, taking back his follow.

It was now one in the morning, Spencer laid in bed awake staring at his ceiling. Once again, he clicks onto the app. He scrolled down his timeline and saw a picture Penelope posted of one of her new desk animals with the caption “Got her at a thrift shop! Isn’t she cute??”. He saw that Hotch and JJ liked 45 other people. JJ also commented with two red hearts. Spencer likes the post and keeps scrolling. His thoughts wander to the post about the girl again. He’s never thought about a social media post this much since he’s created an account. He wonders what sparked his interest so much about this one. As he makes his way to the post, clicking on her account. Debating if he should follow her. She’s a total stranger. Do the others follow strangers? There’s no way JJ knows 302 people in real life. He mentally shrugs and presses the follow button. Requested. Again.

He swipes out of her account back onto the post now seeing that she commented on it.

yourinstagram thank you, bubs! ily to the moon n back <3333

It was commented thirty six seconds ago. Meaning she’s currently active. Again, Spencer’s heart sinks and he immediately regrets his decision. Going back and unfollowing her. He doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s a mess. Over a stranger. But he feels like an idiot. Reacting the way that he did just because he saw that she was online. So he goes and follows her.... again.

After clearing out all of his apps, he turns off his phone and lays down trying to get some sleep before work in a few hours. His thoughts wander to her. What she was like. if she was nice or mean. If she was socially awkward or very outgoing. Before his thoughts could get too far into what she was like, he receives a notification from instagram. He opens his phone and clicks on the notification. His heart began to pound when he saw it.

yourinstagram would like to send you a message!

He clicks on it.

yourinstagram You’ve followed and unfollowed me about 5 times in the past 3 hours. Is there something I can help you with?

Spencer completely forgot that other people got notifications and now he felt like some kind of creep.

spencerreid I’m sorry. I came across your friend’s Instagram post wishing you a happy birthday and i guess i got curious and wanted to follow you if that makes any sense.

He felt so dumb.

yourinstagram and following me once wasn’t enough for some reason???

spencerreid Sorry about that. I’m new to this whole social media thing and don’t follow any strangers. You are the first person I’m following that I don’t know in real life. Again, my apologies for the disturbance. I’ll unfollow you’re account If you’re uncomfortable with me.

yourinstagram i just hope that you’re not one of my raging exes, someone trying to catfish me, or a psychopath lol.

Spencer smiled.

spencerreid Nope. Just me.

She leaves him one read. Spencer’s smile fades when he doesn’t see any three loading dots. She wasn’t texting him back. As he’s about to exit the app, he sees two notifications.

yourinstagram has accepted your follow request!

yourinstagram has requested to follow you.

********

I hoped you like this!!! If this blows up,i will do another chapter!

#spencer reid #dr reid #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #matt simmons #david rossi #cm #emily prentiss #jennifer jereau #penelope gracia #luke alvez #tara lewis #elle greenaway #spencer reid x you #cat adams

102 notes · View notes

yegarts · 2 years

Text

Yorath House Studio Residency Wrap-Up: Thea Bowering and Jody Shenkarek

Long-time friends Jody Shenkarek and Thea Bowering were the third artist pair to take up residence at the Yorath House Artist Studio Placement this year. Over the summer, they began their long-talked about collaboration that blended Jody’s music with Thea’s storytelling.

Now that their residency has concluded, the artists are sharing a final update on their time at Yorath House with reflections, prose excerpts, and images. Read more about their residency on the YEGArts blog (introductory post, reflections #1, reflections #2) and check out Jody and Thea's Instagram @sistersofyorath .

Thea Bowering: Final Blog Post

I've lived in Edmonton for two decades now, and if I think of my life as a story, sometimes I find that ironic: I never imagined spending the last of my youth in the geography I had dismissed in my Can Lit 100 courses. I always hated those "foundational," multi-generational stories about people arriving and staying in a place on The Prairies, hated slugging through pages that described life in dusty landscapes I thought no one in their right mind would want to live in. Over the last two decades, I've written short stories about the urban landscape of Edmonton. I would often forget I live in a river town, that there is a river down there, flowing through the basin of the city. When I did picture the North Saskatchewan, it was frozen, not necessarily with ice, but as it would be on a postcard printed who-knows-when sitting in a motel/gas station card rack. Greetings from Edmonton! In red cursive. Greetings from anywhere!

I'm terrible, I agree. A good part of the reason I wanted this residency had to do with an intense need to be better, get down into the valley and close to the river to find a lightness, an expanse, to be away from trucks and cement, my cramped and failing house, unfurl my sedentary body and tired mind and simply push them into green--become less ironic. Every day I was working at Yorath House, I would walk the short path to the dock that reaches quiet out into the river. And with water below me, the green and brown banks all around, the crazy swirling white and blue sky far above, I would stretch out waiting for the currents of "the Universal Being [to] circulate through me." But this didn't happen. I looked glumly at the lucky ones floating down the river on paddleboards, holding their beers, wondering if the Universal Being was flowing through them. One day walking up the ramp from the dock, back to the main path, I saw off to the side a fully intact dandelion puff, the largest and most perfect I'd ever seen. I bent down and stared into its perfect roundness. It looked back at me, a giant eyeball on a stalk, its spore-design an iris. It was a perfect eyeball looking at me. My whole imperfect body staring back, recoiled. I realized, as much as it relaxes me and makes me happy, Nature also makes me feel like a terrible human, with some impenetrable construction column inside that keeps out the blowing spirit. I am more at one with the crumbling city.

But it was my aim to write something about things I hadn't tried to write about before: nature and local history. I did end up reading and being influenced by writers I hadn't read before, who write on nature: Ralph Waldo Emerson and Emily Dickinson. And I ended up learning a lot of things I didn't know much about: the Métis lot system, the history of scrip, the Indigenous and Métis community that lived between 1935-37 along the edge of the city, 142nd street, the street I drove down every day to get to Yorath House. I learned that the practice here of taking apart material history and abandoning it is as old as the city itself. When the last original Fort Edmonton was dismantled in 1915, the Alberta Government promised the people it would reuse the timber in a heritage or museum-like way. Instead, the pieces of fort lay about below the parliament building and eventually vanished. There are many great rumours about what happened to that timber. Similarly, Dennis Yorath tried to donate to the city the eight-foot fieldstone chimney that sat on his property, all that was left of a cabin built by English Charlie, a famous early settler and gold panner. A letter from a city secretary to Dennis reads: "As you know, the fireplace was the oldest relic of early Edmonton still in existence. Without your permission for removal, it would have been lost forever." Well, the chimney was lost forever, deemed too fragile to move and re-erect near John Walter House or the reconstructed Fort Edmonton. For years it had sat, houseless, in Laurier Park, without signage, a curiosity for passersby. And after it was dismantled, where did its stones go? I became obsessed with this and trolled the field next to Yorath for old looking stones, ha!

There is, however, also a beauty that comes from the way the material past is neglected in Edmonton--rather than cleaned away, it is often left in piles for whomever wants it, left to fall down on its own in beautiful weathered ruin. In my stories about cities, I focus on the flâneur: a modern social and literary figure--solitary, urban, wandering, rebellious--who goes far off the set paths of the city to witness and recount the visions of urban life that are neglected, strange, or in ruin. As Jody and I poked about in the bush along the paths of Yorath, in our mode of flânerie, we found evidence of old river homes--possibly going back as far as the Métis and early European settlers. (We image, anyway!) We find a line of stone foundation, an old hearth, a large pile of completely rusted tin cans, a very old gear a tree has grown into.

In one of my favourite essays of flânerie, Virginia Woolf's "Street Haunting," the speaker says she must cross London alone at dusk to buy a pencil. This is just an excuse--as a woman at her time had to have a purpose, usually related to shopping, to leave the house alone for a walk. Her real purpose is to write about all the strange and chance spectacles she sees along the way. This wandering on foot and with words is something I was trying to do with the long piece I was writing at Yorath. (I've submitted excerpts from it in previous blog posts.) In one way, in my mind, our version of Woolf's pencil is the Ghost Pipe--the flower we sought and thought about throughout our residency. It spurred on our walks and meditations about many things: growing older, grief, thoughts about beauty, nature, and the fragility of ourselves and our world. Now that the residency is over, I am going through withdrawal, not being in the valley and on the water and walking paths every day. But I also know that I have found the spot in Edmonton I can return to, for solace and the inspiration to continue this long poetic-prose piece about this place. I'm going to include the last two entries I wrote while at Yorath. I don't think they really gives a sense of closure; they're just the latest in a string of them that continues.

30.

Ten weeks here and I haven't yet written about grief. Even though it's what we started with. Even though it's all around and in everything. Your loved one's ashes catching wind over water. My loved one's ashes buried in an old settler orchard. air, water, fire, and earth. God's eye woven by someone and hung, a star, on a saskatoon berry bush over our little cluster of ghost pipe. The narrative did not go as we hoped it would. Does it ever? We did, in the end, get to see it--but not here. By a different piece of the river. That day under the Mill Creek Bridge, the police were evicting a community who had been living in the ravine for a while. The police were cheery and relaxed as a mattress with a bloom of brown in the middle fell into a storage container. This was all we could observe through the greenery. We heard rustling close by, along the bike path, but we did not go see. Did we learn how to sit beside grief? The moment of finding the flower was not an epiphany, did not bring about a sudden change, but brought empathy, real and useless. We returned almost daily to the tender stalks, to sit in vigil. All around us things died quickly or slowly, unnoticed by walkers and joggers and cyclists. A caterpillar writhed silently as wasps dived onto it, taking out chunks of real estate and planting eggs. We feel for it. We remove it with a bit of bark and place it somewhere covered. It will die in pain unobserved. Grief is useless but persists. Love persists. Grief walks up and down the river, up and down. A hundred and fifty years ago children walked up and down the banks of this river, calling for their parents. You are useless and crude and should learn how to be useful. That is all that matters now. The present is over. You should learn to measure grief and think about the future. Instead, you sit beside white flowers, taking elegiac photos. Mourning that which is a symbol of mourning.

31.

The other day I thought of Emily's long dash as a straightened-out blackening ghost pipe, a line somewhere between life and death. To suspend the Breath / Is the most we can / Ignorant is it Life or Death / Nicely balancing. The white petticoats rimmed black and gathered professionally in a flower frenzy, one black stockinged leg thrust straight up and then out, tick-tocking back and forth with a da-da-dahdahdahdah. Your time is up, Victorianism! She can-caned with a young ruined face that people loved. I shouldn't. But I still think of this plant as a tragic heroine.

Jane Avril, skinny, "fed on flowers" holding the pose

and then dying, poor, in obscurity, of course. Jane the strange one, Jane the crazy. All the innocent whores of modern history jerk from lover to lover down narrow stone streets, turning childhood illness, a nervous tic, into dance. They take up with a woman, then a lecherous doctor, drag a boy-child along from one daddy to another. Hysterical elegance and soft melancholy all around, movement immortalized in Toulouse-Lautrec posters. Life and death, luck and misfortune, a hair-width between them. She once headlined at the Jardin de Paris, but ended in a poor house, sick with angina, dying in 1943. Last written words "I hate Hitler."Too loose. To Lose. The Trek.

But all that is behind me now. We sit at the side of the jogging path in folding chairs, just two weird old ladies, it looks like. J. says: Ghost Pipe's stems reminds me of an empty artery. Yuk, I say...

I just Can't. Can't

Look. The Summer is almost gone.

Jody Shenkarek: Final Blog Post

My time at Yorath House this summer has been such an incredible opportunity. Thea and I came to this place to work together and learn from each others experiences. We spent many hours walking the trails, sitting on the beaches, talking, listening trying new ideas and enjoying the grounds and the surrounding community. Time was a gift for us. Time to explore words, music, ideas and each others hearts and minds. We learned a lot about the area and the history of the people that have lived herein this place. I am thankful for my time and the interest it has sparked in me regarding place and people and history. We saw many native plants and learned the bends of the river. Met people from the area and found our favourite paths and places. The house welcomed us, and provided a place of comfort and creativity. We learned slowly how to intertwine our talents and come out with a project that highlights our individual and shared ideas.

Mornings with coffee and sunlight were my favourite time for writing lyrics and poetry. Thea taught me about form in writing and I taught her about making songs.

I have many hours of recordings made on the grounds of birds and sounds and our long talks and experimental songwriting projects. My photography and paintings done during that time have brought me great joy and I'm hoping to show them in the future.

Our beloved flower friend ghost pipe showed up (sadly not in the grounds of Yorath) but nonetheless we had the opportunity to sit with it for a week. I am forever grateful for this time as it shifted my world.

We will never truly leave Yorath now. We will come and walk and remember and keep building on the projects that we have started here. Ideas grow and reflection on our time will bring other new ideas as well. The chance to have an entire summer to be with a fellow artist and work together was heart opening. Connection and creativity take time. Thank you for this perfect summer.

#yegarts #edmonton #edmontonarts #yorathhouse #yegwrites #yegmusic #artist residency

3 notes · View notes

purpletaecup · 4 years

Photo

10 ☾ he said that’s how he still remembers me

warnings: explicit language (cursing), mentions of miscarriage, mentions of infidelity (not rlly but on thin ice)

notes: you guys... this is a long one and it’s kind of fast paced, but we are finally getting some answers and the drama really begins! next chapter will be emotional, that’s all I know. I’m sorry for putting you through all this angst!! also, I wanted to bring some attention to the crisis in the Philippines right now with all of the dangerous typhoons. A lot of people need donations and rescuing, so HERE is a link to a twitter thread of donation drives! Please make sure to check it out, share and help spread awareness!

as always, come talk to me in my ask box! and if you want to be added to the taglist, please send an ask, or reply to this post or the masterlist!

not edited!! sorry if there are any mistakes lmfao i usually am sleep deprived when i write so yeah, there are probably some errors.

word count: 5,614

☾

The days following Jungkook’s visit were dull, if anything. You’ve received texts from Yoongi saying that he couldn’t come visit until that weekend because he had to finish wrapping things up in advance at the company so that he could spend some time with you. You had argued over the phone like teenagers when you insisted that he didn’t need to do that and you could take care of yourself until Jin came back. Of course, that led to him ranting about what the doctor said about monitoring you and your symptoms for concussion and to get him to just shut up about the medical stuff (it made your brain hurt more than it did usually), you reluctantly agreed to his ‘visits’, as you’d rather call them.

[nov. 20, 2020]

It was Friday now and you still haven’t gotten any glimpse of actual memories back, although you have been having these strange dreams that you couldn’t really remember when you woke up. You could only describe the feeling it gave you as ‘sinking’, like you were drowning and you couldn’t escape. As much as possible, you tried not to think about these feelings, and focused more on trying to get to know the version of you who lived in this amazing apartment.

The past couple of days that you spent at this apartment put you in awe. It really was the apartment of your dreams, from the color of the furniture down to the little plants stuck in the corner of that tiny shelf in the kitchen. It was beautiful and so you. The only problem was that you couldn’t find anything to help with your current situation. You scoured every nook and cranny and couldn’t find anything dated after your wedding reception. No pictures, no post-its, notes or anything past that date. What you had found in your apartment, you already knew of (aside from the wedding photos). Past photoshoots, high school photos, a notebook full of movie ticket stubs. There was absolutely nothing in this apartment that gave you a clue to the life you lived during the four year gap in your memory.

You even tried to get into your twitter and instagram from when you were nineteen but you couldn’t log in. Wrong password every single time. When you tried to change your password for social media, the email you used had a different password too. You couldn’t figure out what you could have changed your password to. Every password combination you could think of, you tried, but none worked, so you decided to just skip that and maybe go over it later on. Or make a new one. That could work, too.

You couldn’t even look at your twitter account because for some reason, it was private and that seemed strange for someone with almost 130,000 followers. You could see your instagram account from your browser, but it wouldn’t let you see the pictures and posts in full size with the captions and comments, so you were really stuck.

A quick internet search of your name yielded things you already knew. Former model, current writer (that fact was still surprising to you). Old news articles of dating scandals that weren’t true, except for the one with Yoongi. More news articles about your divorce with no further information than what Yoongi had told you already.

It’s as if any clue about your life during your memory loss is unaccounted for. It seemed like at this point, you could only rely on other people telling you about your life and pray to whatever higher power there was to give you your memories back.

This futile search was beginning to make your stomach churn. You almost couldn’t suppress the bile rising up in your throat. Hopefully Jin would return soon. Maybe he could put all of the pieces back together for you.

☾

Jungkook sat in on the uncomfortable leather couch in Yoongi’s office as he waited for the man to finish up whatever he was typing. He looked through his instagram feed and saw one of your posts from July. For a while, he was confused as to why this picture from July would end up on his feed, but he remembered the new instagram algorithm. Curious, he clicked on your profile and looked through it slowly. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually paid attention to your posts.

“I forgot to ask but what did you and Yn do at her apartment? She said you stayed over for a couple of hours.” Yoongi asked though his eyes never strayed from his paperwork.

Jungkook looked up at him and pondered on what to say.

“Hm, yeah. I got roped into staying. She asked a bunch of questions and we looked through her apartment and her photo albums. Her apartment’s cute, by the way. Way different from what your house looked like.” He comments.

“Really?”

“Yeah. It was bright. Lots of green. Nothing I’ve ever seen in the house you guys shared.”

“How was she when you picked her up? She told me a couple of things but I haven’t seen her yet so I can’t know if what she’s telling is the truth or not.”

It was quiet for a moment, with only the sound of turning pages filling the room, as Jungkook wondered what to say to this. He didn’t really know when to start with you, especially with how different you were acting.

“Well, she’s fine. The personality is definitely different. She seems a lot more outgoing, and she had a lot of questions but she didn’t push. I think she wants to try and figure things out on her own.” Jungkook replies as he continued to slowly look through your previous instagram posts.

“She’s been like that. She hates being a burden and gets really defensive about it sometimes.” Yoongi comments.

Jungkook pauses at your most recent post. He checks the date. September 22.

“When did you guys divorce again?” He asked.

At this, Yoongi looked up.

“The divorce was finalized on September 29, I think.” He answered, but looked questioningly at Jungkook as if to ask why.

“Did you know she was going to therapy?” Jungkook asked again.

Hearing this, Yoongi stood up abruptly and hurried over to where Jungkook was sitting.

“What? Where did you see that?” Yoongi asked as he looked over Jungkook’s shoulder.

Jungkook showed him the post. Yoongi took the phone from him and examined the post carefully.

It was a picture of clouds with text on it. Is this the life we really want? The caption read “as per the advice of my therapist, i’m just here to pop in and say that I’ll be going on a hiatus for a little bit”.

“What the fuck? I didn’t know this!” Yoongi yelled, evidently angry.

Jungkook looked at him confused. They were together for four years, how could he not know that you were at least going to therapy?

The same question was running through Yoongi’s head. He took a seat next to Jungkook to process this new information.

“Hyung, can I ask you a couple of questions?” Jungkook requested.

Yoongi could only nod.

“What was Yn like when you were together? Why did you marry her?” Those were the first questions that came out of Jungkook’s mouth.

He was truly, genuinely curious. Though he’s heard some things that Yoongi had said about you, he never knew the full story.

“We married each other because we loved each other. Wasn’t that obvious?” Yoongi retorted.

Jungkook pursed his lips at this. “Well that's what you tell everybody and yeah we get it, but considering the fact that I’ve barely seen you two together more than two handful of times in the past two years, I had to ask.”

“That’s because we were both busy, but that didn’t mean we didn’t spend time together. Of course you never saw it because you weren’t there and I’m not one to actively talk about my love life. Yn and I both liked our privacy.”

“Okay, then what was she like when you were together?”

Yoongi was quiet for a while. There were a lot of things he could say about you when you were together. He just didn’t know how to articulate it to Jungkook.

“When we were together… she was charismatic, beautiful and intelligent. Something about the way she communicated made you feel like you could forget about all of your worries and live life to its extent with her. She constantly dragged me out to picnics and made me forget about the business and my career. She made me feel young again. And she had so much love and care for people around her. For a long time, I felt like I would never be deserving of her. She was kind of like a sunflower. Or sunshine, you know what I mean?” Yoongi poured out.

Jungkook nodded. He realized that this was the time to try to figure out what happened to you in your marriage. From his conversation with you at your apartment, to the description of you that Yoongi had just given, he surmised that the version of you that he knew was someone different and he could only wonder if Yoongi saw it too.

“Did you ever feel like she changed? In the time you guys were together?” He probed.

Yoongi thought about it for a while.

“Yeah, I think so. I always found it strange that she decided to quit modelling. When I met her, she said it was all she ever wanted. I never asked because it seemed like a sensitive topic to her, but I supported her regardless. Writing seemed so out of nowhere for her. I don’t know where it came from. Then she stopped wanting to go to business dinners and events with me and after that we just drifted. And in between that, you introduced me to Yura.”

When Yoongi mentioned Yura, Jungkook winced. He had thought about it some nights ago, but he realized that he might have had a hand in your divorce by introducing Yura to Yoongi. Though he knows Yoongi would have never physically cheated on you, he could see how Yoongi and Yura gravitated towards each other. Jungkook had to admit that Yura was a sweet girl. She was beautiful, and when she smiled it was like sunshine.

Yoongi interrupted his train of thought. “Yura is kind of a complicated subject to our marriage. I would never, ever cheat on someone I loved. And I loved Yn, so much. When you introduced Yura to me, I was happy to meet a new friend and that’s all I saw, but the more you made me hang out with you guys, the more I started to see something in her that I stopped seeing in Yn. I never meant to have any sort of romantic feelings for Yura, but it happened and I feel so fucking shitty for doing that to Yn when I’m the one who promised her a lifetime together.”

Jungkook straightened his posture as Yoongi’s confession.

“Wait, what do you mean by that?” He asked.

“By what?” Yoongi looked at him confused.

“What happened to Yn that pushed you to Yura?”

At this, Yoongi scratched his head.

“I wouldn’t say that it pushed me to Yura, but remember when I said Yn and I started getting distant? As time went on, I felt like she changed and I didn’t know who she was. She used to be so bubbly and happy and always wanting to go look at flowers, but towards the end of our marriage, she stayed holed up in our room no matter how much I asked her to spend time with me. Yura, she was happy to spend time with me. She made me feel like I could forget about everything just by talking to me.”

“Yura made you feel like how Yn used to make you feel?” Jungkook cut him off.

“Well… I guess so.”

Jungkook thought about this for a while but narrowed his eyes at his hyung.

“Hyung, answer this truthfully; do you love Yura?”

The tips of Yoongi’s ears turned red after hearing this.

“Love? I don’t know. I like her? I like the way she makes me feel. She’s beautiful and smart and she makes me happy.”

“Hyung, I don’t know if you realize this, but the way you described Yura is exactly the same way you described Yn.”

“What do you mean?”

“It sounds like you started liking Yura because she reminded you of Yn when you met her. So, do you really, truly like Yura? Or do you just like her because she reminds you of what you don’t have anymore?”

Yoongi lowered his head.

“I-I don’t know. I never thought of it like that.”

Jungkook put his hand on Yoongi’s back to comfort him. Obviously, the man was confused.

“I don’t know if this helps, but I just wanted to let you know that whenever I saw Yn, during those dinners or events, she never gave off the vibe that you described her to be. To me, she was quiet, reserved and never bothered trying to get to know us, your friends, or your business. That’s what she came off as. When you told us that you loved each other and that you eloped, I thought you were joking. When I saw her, she just seemed like the typical trophy wife. Just for show. I never liked her and wondered what you saw in her all the fucking time, but now after hearing this, and after being with her for a couple of hours, it’s obvious that something happened that fucked her up and then fucked your marriage up.” Jungkook ranted.

“I think you might need to reevaluate the relationship you had with Yn so we could help her recover from this whole amnesia thing and hopefully figure out what happened. Something definitely happened, but since I don’t know your marriage like you do, I don't know what it is. I feel guilty now after realizing that I might have had a hand in whatever the fuck she was going through. And maybe figure out what you’re going to do about Yura. Can you keep dating her when your feelings for her are based off of your feelings for your ex-wife, who is currently pregnant with your wife and doesn’t know about it?” He continued.

Yoongi took a deep breath, taking all of this conversation in.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m almost done with the shit here at the company. When I go home, I’ll sort everything out and talk to Yn and Yura tomorrow. I don’t think I can keep seeing Yura with the current situation. I have to tell Yn about the pregnancy as soon as possible, but I’m scared because the doctor told me to monitor for residual symptoms for her concussion. I don’t even know where to begin with the situation.”

“It’s okay, hyung. I’m here for you. You have to tell her about the pregnancy before she finds out herself. In the meantime, I’ll help you out when you can’t take care of her. I already feel shitty enough for how I acted with her when you two were married. I feel like I had the wrong impression this whole time.” Jungkook offered.

Yoongi remembered the moment earlier when Jungkook confessed that he never liked you and that baffled him because he thought that you two, of all people, would get along well together. More often than not, he would feel jealous of Jungkook, who had your admiration when you first started dating. He remembered you always asking him to introduce you to Jungkook and it took a year for him to budge and actually make it happen.

“I’m sure you’ll get along now. I always thought you did get along. Did you know she liked you before?” Yoongi asked.

Jungkook shook his head. “I didn’t know until the other day when you had me take her home. It probably would have helped if you told me she knew who I was before you introduced us after you got together. She never acted like she was a fan of my music and admittedly, I was a dick to her.”

Yoongi glared at him. It was a first for him to hear about how Jungkook treated his ex-wife.

“Well, you should feel shitty because she really liked you and your music. For a while, I thought she liked you more than me. If I had known you were an asshole to her, I probably would have ripped you a new one. Hearing you admit you treated her like shit makes me feel like shit because I never knew and just assumed you guys were good with each other. You didn’t do or say anything bad to her, right? You’re not that type of person.”

Jungkook could only pretend to smile at Yoongi as he asked this.

He shook his head and lied. “No, never.”

Lying through his teeth to his best friend about how he treated you made his heart fall to his stomach. Well, Yoongi didn’t have to know because it was in the past. You couldn’t remember any of the mean things he’d said to you, so now was the perfect time to make a new, much better impression of himself to you. He decided days ago that he would be better, because deep down, he knew that you didn’t deserve to be treated like how he treated you.

[nov. 21, 2020]

Yoongi had taken the day off after his somewhat enlightening conversation with Jungkook last night. He decided that he needed to go see you and spend some time with you today, but before that, he needed to settle things with Yura.

They decided to meet up at his apartment for maximum privacy, just in case anything happened. He wanted to account for the worst case scenario of Yura probably getting angry and throwing things around, but he doesn’t think she’s the type of person to do dramatic things like that.

Turns out, she’s not. When he reluctantly tells her that he can’t continue on with what they had because of residual feelings for you, in addition to the fact that there were complications in that relationship that he can’t speak about carelessly, she had reacted calmly and amicably. Though Yoongi hadn’t expected her to throw a tantrum, he was expecting some kind of anger, but all he got was a sad look passing on her face followed by comforting words.

He apologized profusely for having dragged her around when he still had apparent feelings for his ex-wife and not figuring out his feelings for her, or lack thereof, sooner. She reassured him that it was okay and she’ll be fine.

“I’ll be fine Yoongi. I liked you, but it’s pretty obvious that you used me as some kind of rebound or replacement for your ex-wife, and I was okay with it. Truthfully, I was waiting for you to just come clean and break it off with me. I hope you and Yn figure things out this time, and I hope you can talk to her. Communication is important.” She reminds him before she leaves, but not before letting him know that she would always be there for him as a friend.

He had texted her after she left, and after a couple of minutes to himself, that he was thankful for her being so nice about the situation and all in all, he didn’t regret whatever short-lived affection they had for each other.

Yoongi still couldn’t believe how smoothly everything with Yura went. He hoped that the rest of the day would be the same.

☾

You woke up to a message from Jungkook asking if you were free, so you had to tidy up the apartment and yourself because you didn’t want to look messy in front of someone you had idolized for a long time.

Luckily enough, you didn’t have to cook since Jungkook offered to bring food. You thank your lucky stars for that because for some reason, you’ve been feeling incredibly sluggish and nauseous. It was probably some symptoms of the concussion you suffered. You remembered your doctor saying something about that the last time you were at the hospital.

About 20 minutes later, you heard your doorbell ring so practically skip to the door, excited to see Jungkook and steal the food that he brought.

You opened the door to see Jungkook standing there with a big back of food in his hands. He was wearing all black, with a leather jacket that looked a tad too big on him.

“You look warm.” You comment.

He rolled his eyes. “Are you gonna invite me in or not? I even brought you food.”

You laugh a little and move to the side to give him room to step inside the apartment.

“So, what have you been doing?” He asks as he makes his way to your dining room to put the food down.

You make your way to the kitchen to get some plates for the both of you.

“Nothing. I’ve been trying to look for some stuff but I don’t know where to start so I just gave up until you or Yoongi could come help.” You reply as you move to the dining room to set the plates down.

Jungkook takes the food out and puts some on the plates. Kimbap, like you asked, and some seaweed soup.

“How have you been feeling? Okay?” He questioned.

You nodded, though hesitantly.

“Eh, I’ve been feeling kind of tired. I think I might be sick because I keep wanting to vomit. Is that my wintermelon tea, by the way?” You pointed to the drink in his hand.

Jungkook poked the straw through the lid and handed it to you.

“Sick? Did you take any medicine? Are you feeling better now?”

You took a sip of your tea and sighed, missing the sweet taste of the drink. It felt nostalgic.

“Mhm, took some earlier and I'm feeling much better thanks to the food you brought!” You smiled.

Jungkook rolled his eyes jokingly once again. “You’re welcome, by the way.”

He didn’t think about your illness any further. It was probably a cold and nothing else.

For about 20 minutes, the two of you ate and spoke about little things, mostly about Jungkook and his career. It helped you get to know him a little bit better since he’s the only person besides Yoongi who could help you in your situation until Jin comes back.

After you finished eating, you told him that you needed his help going through your room in case there was anything that could jog your memory.

“I would ask Yoongi but he’s been busy lately.”

“So I’m just your last resort?”

“You’re literally the only other person in my contact list besides Yoongi and Jin.”

“Right, anyways, lead the way!” He exclaimed.

You laughed as you led him to the room at the end of the hallway.

“Sorry if it’s a little messy, I didn’t have that much time to clean up before you got here!” You explained.

Jungkook shook his head, telling you it didn’t really matter since it was gonna be a mess anyways while you two went through your things.

☾

When Jungkook walked into your room, he was once again hit with the feeling that he had no fucking clue who you were in the past years he’d known you. If he could describe your room in one word, it would be enchanting. White walls, white sheets adorn with a baby blue blanket, wooden floors, giant plants and a mirror much bigger than himself. Your desk was filled with different kinds of pens, different notebooks that look to have been trifled through, and an unnatural amount of books and crystals.

From the looks of the rest of your house, he probably shouldn’t be surprised at your bedroom, but it’s still a bit difficult for him to wrap his mind around the fact that you were this type of person. Bright, intelligent, and incredibly neat.

He walked up to your desk and picked up the different notebooks laid out messily on the table. When he opened each of them, he noticed that they were mostly blank, with the exception of a few doodles. There were some things he’d recognized as lyrics from songs he knew, but nothing truly relevant to the memories you lost.

You stood next to Jungkook and looked at the notebooks in his hands.

“I went through those already. Nothing but a few sad lyrics here and there. None of them triggered any memories.” You mentioned.

Jungkook put them down and started walking around the room with you as you talked about what you did find during the days that you were left alone. What he got from that conversation was that you had no luck with anything and that’s why you waited until either he or Yoongi could come over and help you. Jungkook knew that Yoongi was coming over later, so if he couldn’t help you find anything or answer any of your questions today, then maybe Yoongi could.

“Oh! I forgot to mention that I can’t even access any of my social media, so do you think I can look through my instagram through your phone? I mean, if that’s okay with you. I know some people feel uncomfortable giving their phone to someone else to play around with.” You asked.

Jungkook shook his head and stuck his hand in his pant pocket, reaching for his phone.

“It’s fine, you can look at your profile, I think I follow you. The password is 061313.” He stated as he handed his phone over to you.

You grabbed it excitedly, finally getting the chance to see what your life was like during the four years that were missing from your memory. You fell back onto your bed as you unlocked Jungkook’s phone and clicked on his instagram app quickly.

You took a look at his profile first, staring in awe at the pictures he’s posted. Most of his pictures are very dark and he had quite a few selfies. You smiled a little bit as you admitted in your head that he was indeed handsome.

Okay, Yn, onto the more important things! You thought to yourself as you quickly searched your username ‘faeyn’ on the search bar. At first you were excited, but it deflated when you saw just how many posts you had. 13 posts. And almost all of them were just landscapes. Some had pictures of you by yourself, or with Jin, but that was it. How the fuck were you supposed to try to figure out your life through 13 pictures?

Scrolling through each picture and their captions from the oldest to newest, you quickly realized that you must have decided that privacy was something that should be valued. There was nothing of substance to your situation in the captions you’d written. Just casual mentions of how your day was, or what you did that day. The only thing that caught your eye was the latest post you had, dated September 22. It was a picture of clouds and the caption said something about your therapist advising you to take a break, so you were going to be on a social media cleanse for a while.

Well, at least you learned one thing. Apparently, you started going to therapy again. For what? You don’t know. You only remembered going to therapy a couple of times after the whole incident with your bastard ex-boyfriend.

You filed this little detail into your brain and hoped that maybe it would make more sense later on. Swiping up on Jungkook’s phone took you to his home screen, but you paused for a little. Maybe you could snoop through some more apps and see if there was anything else you can find.

No, that would be an invasion of Jungkook’s privacy, you thought. Another part of you argued that he wasn’t going to know and he’s here to help you. If there was anything worth hiding, he wouldn’t have given you his phone and his password so easily. And if there was anything, it wouldn’t be incriminating since he mentioned that you two didn’t really know each other that well, so you shrugged and clicked on his messages.

I’ll just see if there are any messages to me. I won’t look at anything else, you justified, as if it made it any better.

After scrolling for a little while, you finally saw something worthwhile. A text convo between you and Jungkook and from the preview of the message, it looks like it was from the middle of September. You opened it, excited to see the contents, but what you saw made you furrow your brows.

What is this?

☾

After Jungkook gave you his phone, he continued walking around your room until he got to the side of your bed that was next to the window. He looked around for a bit and saw something in the corner of his eyes. Crouching down lower, he saw something on the floor behind your headboard. He couldn’t tell what it was at first, but as soon as he moved closer, he realized it was a thick notebook. Jungkook surmises that you probably hadn’t seen it despite telling him that you looked ‘everywhere’. He took the notebook and sat down on the floor, completely hiding his figure, but not before he could look at you. He wanted to see what was in the notebook before he showed it to you, and luckily enough, you had been facing away from him.

So he sat down and opened the notebook. From just the first page, he could tell it was some kind of diary or journal. There were lots of drawings and stickers and a picture of you in a field of flowers right in the middle of the first page. He flipped through the whole notebook really quickly and found that half of it was already filled.

A part of him wanted to read through the whole thing and see what kind of things you wrote, but another part told him that it wasn’t appropriate. Despite that, he convinced himself that he should read maybe just one entry, just to see if this notebook was something substantial to your current situation.

Jungkook took a peek at you again and noticed you still had your back turned to him so he took that as a sign that he could probably get away with reading an entry. He flipped to a page randomly and focused his eyes on the writing.

The entry was dated August 4, 2020. Fairly recent. He noticed that there were some dark blotches on the paper that made the ink bleed.

He began to read the entry, not knowing what he was going to find out.

It still seems weird to be writing about my problems in a journal. I’m still not used to it, but it’s been helpful since I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this.

That made him frown.

I went to my OBGYN today because I’ve been having severe cramps and bleeding, but I already had my period so I was worried. And the cramps were starting to really hurt, so I had to go get it checked out just in case. Well, apparently I was pregnant and lost the baby.

Jungkook’s eyes widened and he gasped audibly. Luckily enough, it wasn’t loud enough for you to notice. He clasped his hand over his mouth at the disbelief in reading this information. A miscarriage? And so recent, too. He didn’t know how to feel. Yoongi had never said anything about this.

Jin actually just left my house a couple of hours ago. I don’t think the news hit me until now. I texted Yoongi earlier to tell him but he was busy so I think that was a sign that I should probably not tell him. It’s not like it matters right? Since the baby was gone anyways.

I know my therapist told me to stop with the negative self-talk, but it’s moments like this that really push me to just keep thinking I’ll never be good enough for the men that I love. Thanks to my bastard ex for fucking my mind up like this. No matter how hard I try, I always just circle back to the fact that I wasn’t good enough for him, and that I’m not good enough for Yoongi. Even fate is telling me that I’m not good enough to carry a child with the man I love. How fucked up is that?

Jungkook’s heart dropped to his stomach. He felt sick. There were so many things going through his head right now. He felt like he was violating something that was so private. Yoongi didn’t even know that you went through this. You didn’t even know you went through this. He shut the journal quickly, wiping the tears that formed in his eyes.

At that exact moment, he heard your heavy breathing and quickly got up to check on you. He walked around to your side of the bed and found you trembling with his phone in your hands. He noticed that his messages were open and he began to panic.

“What the fuck is this?” was the last thing he heard you say before your eyes rolled to the back of your head and you fell limp into your bed.

← masterlist →

taglist: @victoriedulce @yoongistruth @rebeccawoodrow @moon-asia @koochiekoo @sonderkook @fangirling-gallifreyan @teresaisla @veronawrites @haeilove @rjsmochii @mama-m0chi @agustd-2020 @imluckybitches @dreamer95 @coldfreakeggsexpert @loveyoongles @selfproducingfanfictionauthor @mr-robot-x @alinerl @lunaarya @somewhereinthestarss @moonlitmyg @liriaus @coolpeanutskeletonpersona @scentedsope @seoul9711 @sbtzhoe @ggukkieland @mariand @deolly @fandomstogetherweunite @pairdeune @baekstans @mickmoon @iamnamjoonsbxtch @cloudbuffalo @kimmalik @laabellaavitaa21 @liveoffyou @vantedollz @1this1is1me1 @yulisaangelica @madnesstaking0ver @venxtaetae @pimpnameyannie @bobrouxsky @cheesecakes-randomshitz @ceoofjjksimping @minclangyyy @ysljoon @eilenebeniquez @laurynne5 @jalexad @yoongicap @hellotherehoneybee @thequeen-kat @haveumetbadeth @goldenkookietae @miss-jupiter @arcadechick @neverthefirstchoice @zxlummxxd

376 notes · View notes

kpopimaginings · 3 years

Text

Insta Connections - Jinyoung

A/N: This is from a request from @crzy-devil I hope you don’t mind I did deviate a little bit, but its still model!reader and Jinyoung being an old man when it comes to sns.

You were currently preparing backstage for a runway show in Seoul. As occasionally happened, there were some VIP guests mingling with designers and models backstage. Once your make-up was all in place, you went to relax in the lounge and caught the eye of GOT7's Jinyoung. You saw him notice you and headed over to sit by him and introduce yourself, before starting a casual conversation.

"I don't think I've seen you at events like this before?" you pointed out, posing it more as a question about his presence.

"Not often," he agreed, "But I was invited, and thought it would make for an interesting change of scenery."

"Let's take a photo, and update our socials," you suggested. "Might be a nice surprise for your fans."

You each pulled out your phones, snapping a few selcas together before updating your Instagram. You noticed the look of sheer concentration on Jinyoung's face as he tackled the app and couldn't help but laugh.

"I know you don't post much, but are you struggling that much?"

"Hey, me and my fans are quite happy with my lives, I don't need to be posting expert," he argued.

You continued to smile at him at you went through the process with him, recommending your favourite filter that you knew complimented your look.

"Easy!" you said, once the photo was uploaded on his account.

"Sure," he replied, not sounding sure at all.

"It's been great getting to know you, Jinyoung, but I think I need to finished getting ready," you said, moving to stand up.

He stood too, offering you a polite bow as he said his goodbyes.

Once you were out on the runway, the lights on you were so bright you couldn't see anyone in the audience, which was probably a good thing. If you were able to see Jinyoung's face, it definitely would have broken your composure. His jaw dropped as he watched you saunter down the catwalk. It hadn't gone unnoticed to him how beautiful you were as you spoke earlier, but watching you in your element, hair and make-up flawlessly done and eccentric designer garments adorning you, you looked ethereal.

As soon as the show was done, Jinyoung headed back to the VIP lounge, hoping he might find you there. After asking around, he eventually discovered that you had headed straight home. He couldn't pinpoint quite why he felt as disappointed as he did at not being able to see you again.

Heading home himself, he pulled out his phone to find a lot of his fans were tagging you in their comments on his photo with you. He happily followed you and spent his evening flicking through your many pictures, before leaving a comment on the selca you had posted of the two of them.

'It was a pleasure meeting you at the show. I hope we might meet again.'

A few days later you went live on Instagram, you loved being able to talk to your followers and found it much easier to do on a live stream than trying to keep up with the many, many dm's you get.

Quite a few of the questions you were getting were about your encounter with Jinyoung, and you tried your best to answer them along with the fashion and make-up discussions that were happening. You stopped talking mid sentence when the notification appeared that jinyoung_0922jy had started watching the live.

"Ah, the man himself, Jinyoung has started watching," you announced, as you invited him to join the live. "Let's see if he'll join me and you can ask him some of your questions too."

Jinyoung accepted the invitation and his face popped up under yours.

"Hello, thank you for letting me join you."

"It's no problem at all," you smiled. "Most of the questions from my followers have been about you anyway since we shared those selcas."

Jinyoung laughed. "I just wanted to share your beauty," he complimented. "I didn't actually realise how famous you were, or how many fans you have until they all started commenting on that photo."

The two of you continued to chat, answering questions from the viewers and using their comments as talking points, and before you knew it, your live had been going for well over an hour.

"Oh wow, guys, how have we been hanging out for nearly an hour and a half?!" you exclaimed when you noticed. "I think it's time to call it a day now, but don't worry, I'm sure I'll be back live before you know it. Jinyoung, thank you so much for joining in, this has been so much fun."

"My pleasure, thank you for inviting me on," he replied.

"Anytime!" you smiled back, "And you know where my dm's are if you ever want to talk."

"Thank you, stay safe, bye," he said waving to the camera as he left the chat.

"And for the rest of you, thank you so much for joining me, if you liked seeing Jinyoung here, let me know, and maybe we can do it again. Take care everyone," you told them before ending the live.

As you closed it, you saw you already had a message from Jinyoung.

'It's not often you get an invite to slide into a models dm's. What do you say we grab a coffee together sometime?'

You smiled to yourself as you read his words. And really, who were you to deny a great idol and actor a cup of coffee?

NAVIGATION | GOT7 MASTERLIST

#park jinyoung #jinyoung #jinyoung scenarios #jinyoung scenario #jinyoung imagine #jinyoung imagines #park jinyoung imagine #jinyoung fluff #jinyoung fanfic #jinyoung fic #got7 #got7 imagine #got7 drabbles #got7 jinyoung #got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #jinyoung x reader #jinyoung x you

75 notes · View notes

queenlilith43 · 3 years

Text

Reasons Why Post Plus is a Terrible Idea

Tumblr has recently unveiled their new "Post Plus" feature. It allows people to put a paywall around their blogs, allowing them to charge up to $9.99 a month, with Tumblr taking a 5% cut of the creator's earnings. In this post, I will explain why this is a horrible idea.

@staff: You better listen up. I took a few hours away from my day for this. I had to have my friend Ashley help me with this, and that took time from her day too. (Thank you @patalliumapples) I'm explaining everything under the cut because this is long.

1. We Don't Have the Money

First of all, Tumblr is a social media site. This means in countries like the US, people as young as 13 can sign up and have an account. Most teenagers do not have the money to keep up with their favorite blogs for the low, low price of $9.99!

Second of all, a lot of adults on the site already are having trouble paying their bills, and don't have any content they would be willing to charge people on. As explained in this post, people are already struggling. (They also explain how to support creators better, which I will go onto later.) They don't have the money to spend on this. I, as a teenager myself, don't have enough money to spend to unlock Tumblr blogs. I don't know if I even can, I don't have a credit card or anything, and I don't want debt before I'm out of high school. Oh, and that leads me right next into the next point.

2. You could fix other things

Tumblr is called a Hellsite for many reasons, and how it breaks a lot is one of them. One problem are the Ray-Bans sunglasses bots that hack the site every so often. I have gotten one, Ashley has gotten three.

You can also barely even search on this website. Searching for tags brings up the randomest things. You can barely even search your own blog, this is how bad it is. Fixing those issues before we give you our credit card number would be a great thing.

3. People don't want it

The consensus so far is NO. In some cases, "FUCK NO" This is valid, people don't want it. We can't pay for it, and we really don't need it. Everyone hates it.

And you bet that the Tumblr-famous will try this out.

I, as of writing this, have 416 followers. I bet all of them would leave me if I tried to do a paid post. (Not like I can, I'm a broke teenager, but still.) That would limit the market.

And other people have expressed they would leave anyone who put their posts behind a paywall, such as in this newly-viral post.

4. Monetization of fanfic

Alright. *Cracks fingers* I get to show off my knowledge of copyright law.

Fair use that covers fanfiction does not cover having to pay for it. Monetization of fanfiction is not legal, and if someone tries, the original content creator can issue a DMCA takedown order. The person who posted and monetized the fanfiction will be forced to take down their post, hurting their earnings. This will affect Tumblr.

Also, as we saw recently with a Loki T-shirt on Etsy, big corporations are known for taking down anything they consider infringement, even if it falls under fair use. There was a scare a while back on Ao3 (Archive of Our Own) that Disney would take down their fanfiction, but Ao3 had a legal time that can fight for them. Tumblr probably does not, and would probably lose a legal battle against Disney.

In fact, Ao3 does not allow any sort of links to other monetizable websites, like Pateron and Ko-fi, on their platform to avoid potential legal trouble. It's included in their terms of service, which you can read here. I would recommend it, and to check out some other links. They explain legal issues quite well.

And as satirized in this post, trying to find posts on Tumblr for a DMCA takedown is pretty damn hard.

5. You can get around paying for a post through the reblogs.

Despite the fact that is something you're technically not supposed to do, people can just copy and paste the content. The fact is if anyone has a Post Plus post, you bet the entirety of Tumblr is going to get around that. After all "you can share a teaser of +Post Content through the reblog function on the Services" (From the Tumblr TOS)

6. We've had mirror sites that could probably get around the paywall

In the past, we have had many mirror sites. They are the exact mirror of our Tumblr, tracking everything right down to our reblogs. Last I heard they were all shut down, though Tumbex sounded like it was going to come back. If these mirror sites are smart enough, they would be another way around the paywall.

7. You can't block people who are paying for your content

This is a problem. People can harass you, and sometimes, this Hellsite won't take them off. The block button is an important tool. I, for one, currently have 11 people blocked for various reasons. Some of them were messing with me in the reblogs of a post (it wasn't even their place to do so) and I didn't think Tumblr would count this as harassment.

If you can't block people, and even with the risk of it hurting your earnings, it's not good. Even remotely.

8. There are other ways to support creators that are much better.

As said in the very first reason, creators hate this Post Plus. They prefer being supported in other ways. People also don’t always want to be paid for the content (not even counting legal issues) And if they want to there are already platforms set up for them to use. For example, Pateron has tiers you can set up for membership, ranging up to $100. There, you know what you walked into. You’re not expecting free content, like on Tumblr, you’re building a relationship with the people in your community. Ko-fi lets people donate directly to their content creators, and won’t take any of their donations, unlike the 5% cut Tumblr is planning on taking. Both platforms also offer features that would not be available on Tumblr. Creators are also more likely to already have one of these set up, and keep Tumblr for their free content.

9. Tumblr could make money through better ads

Tumblr ads are famously . . . what’s the word? Ah, yes, “batshit” is the word I’m looking for. I’ve gotten ads for tattoo aftercare, signs of heart disease (the picture provided was someone with their nails painted blue), maps of the USA, celebrities that has passed away, lists of bad cities in my state, graphics of chickens with Hindi (note: I am American), and apparently now I should be worried if my dog licks their paws. (?) As I went to check my dash while writing this post, I saw a small air cooler that was apparently more powerful than A/C being advertised.

No one clicks on them except for a laugh, or if they accidentally thought it was something that was actually interesting. Most of the time, it is not. Tumblr could do something like Instagram and actually have good ads and make more money off of it. It may not be as much as they thought they were going to make, but it’s better than what they have now. (It’s a low bar.)

10. This is the same website that spearheaded DashCon

You remember DashCon, don’t you?

This seems to illustrate the website's stupidity in one picture and this is why you shouldn't trust us with money.

If you have any other reasons why this is bad reason, reblog the post with your reasons. I'd like to hear them, and don't forget to tag the staff.

There is a survey Tumblr wants you to fill out here, it's a step you can take. You can also listen to the protest @postplus-protest which should help. It starts August 6th, it's going to be a great time.

#tumblr #tw caps #tw cursing #posts plus #this is screwed

52 notes · View notes

saucylittlesmile · 3 years

Text

Anonymous said:

Do you read FSU? There’s an interesting discussion on Tessa’s SM there and would like your thoughts. (This is NOT a bashing question genuinely want to know what you think)

(Sorry, I glanced at the FSU discussion a couple of days ago when this ask came in, but couldn’t answer until now, and then my computer ate my first reply, so now you’ll get a little less thought*, LOL.)

So from my (brief and now old) look at the discussion, it seemed to fall under the usual category of: is Tessa’s social media too commercialized?

My response hasn’t changed much over the years, but I’ll summarize it here. As someone who lived through the years in which VM’s social media was Scott’s Facebook fiasco and otherwise non-existent, I was just initially very happy when they each (but let’s face it, mostly Tessa) got social media. To me, the social media was just another way to have a peek into what they wanted to share about their lives or careers, and I had very few expectations beyond that. (Wishes are a different thing, LOL.)

I do understand that Tessa’s social media presence has changed over the years. (What hasn’t changed, is that people were and still are so eager to complain about it, if not directly to her then in other places, and it doesn’t really seem to matter what she posts.) Even as she began, there was an... understanding that she was a public figure. She made distinct choices in her first posts (both Twitter and Instagram), and was always a mix of skating, other business, and personal - but never exceptionally personal. She has never been one to let everything in her real life be exposed - hints, not a full show - and has, like most people, curated what she showed to reflect a ‘best’ version of herself, and occasional glimpses into the less perfect.

Of course, as Tessa’s sponsorships/partnerships grew and changed, so did her social media. She has plenty of obligations, and obviously, part of that is for her to promote those products (or services, or professional relationships). As the number of her partners grew, the percentage of times she’s promoting grew too. And while most non-celebrity people are posting selfies, she posts photoshoots (and that doesn’t seem abnormal compared to other celebrities - even other skaters - to me).

These things make sense to me, given the trajectory of her off-ice (current) career, but although she was honing the aesthetic of her social media as they made their comeback, I still can’t discount the affect of PyeongChang. I mean, obviously, their gold medal wins and going viral, made her a much more marketable athlete and opened doors for her on that side; but it also caused (another) massive influx of new fans to start following her, and quite frankly, fans crossed the line any number of times into her (their) personal lives, and I think that it made... well, not a difference, as I again don’t think she ever over-shared on her personal life, but re-affirmed to her that she needed to be cautious in what she chose to share. And since fans tend to complain no matter what she posts (or, conversely, gush no matter what she posts), then she could spend her whole time on social media struggling to make the people already inclined to be disagreeable happy, or she can recognize that there will always be people unhappy with her social media, and she might as well posts what she wants or what she is comfortable posting or what she has to post.

(We also can’t discount the past year’s unique footprint, in which the pandemic has seriously lessened the number of social gatherings, and/or seriously curtailed the urge to post about them, as they inevitably cause controversy about distancing, masks, etc. 2020/2021 is also the first time in which she has not been skating at all as an ice dancer, and so anything she posts about skating has been a flashback, and it’s just no longer a part of her current, consistent life.)

I don’t write all this to say that I am always thrilled with her social media, or that you ought to be - there are any number of times I wish for something different. But as always, I do say that we, as consumers, have the choice to follow or reblog, or to not.

*Less thought, though apparently not less words. Oops.

TLDR: if (the generic) you don’t like Tessa’s social media, don’t follow. ;)

Meanwhile, as a retrospect, here are Tessa’s first ever 12 instagram posts (that are currently online, and of course in reverse order). I will give you this, none of them were partnered posts; but then again, this was starting in August 2014, which was post-Sochi but also before her Hillberg and Berk partnership being promoted, and long before her Adidas partnership; basically, this Tessa was unsponsored. There is - a social cause [the video], a Skate Canada/Scott/skating post, three/four Tessa-only photos [the forklift one was, IIRC, one in which at the time we knew Scott was actually involved], four ‘pretty’ pictures, one quote, and one ‘random’ photo of Tessa with a workout group.

And here is her most recent 12 Instagram posts. We’ve got: 5 sponsored/partnered posts/videos [which could also be seen a 3 Tessa-only picture posts], 2 ‘pretty’ pictures, 1 quote post, 2 skating/Scott/fan edit retrospectives, 1 vintage personal reflection post, and 1 Zoe post (which could also be seen as a personal life post, given the content).

Sometimes, there are more random photo shoots (no partnership, and so they are just ‘Tessa only’ photos, and especially when she has just participated in one), sometimes there are more sponsored posts, but overall, she will usually go back to a mix, as we can see here.

#ask #social media

26 notes · View notes

bakugous-bbygirl · 4 years

Text

~Social media boyfriend~

Bakugou Katsuki x F!Reader

There needs to be more quarantine stories. Like come onnn we’re all stuck together anyway. That’s why I’m doing the public justice of giving us more fan fiction that’s current to the times. Please enjoy!

Warning: swearing. That’s it really.

Being stuck at home was really getting to everyone and it was pretty clear. From almost finishing your second year to having to do your third year at home. You didn’t even want to know how your hero course was gonna go. But now everyone is online all the time posting things they never would have if they got to go outside more.

You of course followed almost all your classmates on social media. Mostly twitter and Instagram, everything else was a little too much. You had your fair share of classmate followers so your posts were mostly pictures of everyone hanging out or weird selfies you took while half awake.

After reading one too many fanfics you opened Twitter to see a certain profile you liked scrolling through.

You have no clue why Bakugou had followed you one day but you figured it’s the poilte thing to follow back. After scrolling for an hour though you had pretty much summed up all of his account into a few words

Self centered music guy.

A lot of his tweets were just pictures of himself flexing in his mirror or screenshots of whatever his playlist consisted of with aggressive captions telling people to fuck off or listen to the song. Those pictures of his arms though. Ahh those hit differently.

You had a crush on the blonde since you started your first year however you didn’t think it shift into you calling him your online boyfriend and making constant tweets about him.

Nothing super obvious just the simple like “why can’t he love me back” or “when he learns I’m real it’s a wrap.” And on Instagram if it’s a cute photo of yourself your caption would consist of something like: “once my online boyfriend learns I’m desperate maybe we could cuddle” you know nothing weird or anything.

After scrolling through his twitter you found a old tweet that actually made you laugh. Like it was something actually funny. You figured kiri got ahold of his phone and posted it before Bakugou blew him up. It was a picture of Bakugou on his floor fixing his Grenade bracers with the tweet “he looks so cute all focused!”

You accidentally tapped the like button and didn’t even realize how weird that would’ve looked as you swiped out of the app. You went to your messages to text Mina since she always kept you busy durning these lonely days. “Hey crackhead you up yet? It’s almost 3 in the afternoon”

she replied pretty quick asking how you were and if you wanted her to FaceTime you. And who were you to turn down a chance to talk to your best friend?

After answering the call mina’s goofy pink face appeared on your screen while it looked like she was laying on her couch. “Hello!!” “Hey Mina.” You couldn’t help at smile how bubbly she is while talking to you. You figured her extroverted personality was put through the ringer being forced to stay at home. “Soooo how have you been? I see your keeping your social media pretty up to date with your creepy obsession with your online boyfriend?” You hold up your middle finger as you see her laugh “it’s not creepy. It’s the same as liking a famous person. You guys just don’t get to know who he is.” “Ooooo so he’s famous? That makes it totally normal.” You rubbed at your neck moving the phone from your face so she can’t see the Blush. “Well, kinda, not really, sorta..” you then noticed your phone vibrating that you got a new notification. “Oh hold up, I wanna check this.” “Oh no just ignore me as I try to find out who it is you love so much. I would really like to know someday” you waved her off with your hand going to your home screen, “you will one day. Hush up now.” You scrolled to the top of your screen to see your notifications and saw it was from twitter and it was someone wanted to message you, you played it off as Mina or one of your friends wanted to mess with you about a tweet you made early in the day or something. “What’s the point of messaging me when we’re on the phone?” You went back to the call to see Mina tilting her head like a bird “what do you mean? I didn’t message you?” “Oh, I figured it was you sending me something stupid on twitter. Lemme see who it is then.”

You opened twitter while half way listening to whatever story Mina felt like telling at that moment and noticed the message was actually Bakugou saying “what the fuck” “Oh it’s just Bakugou. Weird he normally doesn’t send me anything” you opened the message just as Mina said “maybe it’s him telling you what you tweeted was dumb or pointless? That’s normally what he does to me.” You laughed and saw he had sent a screenshot of a notification he got from you like a tweet from legit a year ago. You almost died. “Ahhhhhhh shit I gotta go minathanksforcallingbye!” And flat out hung up in her face. You couldn’t believe you were dumb enough to like the tweet. Why didn’t you notice? God you were stupid.

And what’s even worse you already opened the message and he could see you already read it so In a panick you just typed out some half ass reply acting as if you were confused “what? I didn’t do anything to you” you then texted Mina explaining how weird he probably thinks you are. “sooo Bakugou is mystery your online boyfriend and you got caught totally creepin?” You face turned red as you replied “I never said he was my crush!” “you posted on Instagram yesterday that sometimes you scroll through his account and read his old tweets. Get busted y/n.” You threw you phone away from you on the table and layed Your head into your pillows.

You were so caught. Almost all your tweets and posts from the last few months were you thirsting over this boy and showing how lonely you are durning this quarantine. You wouldn’t be so embarrassed if it was someone you were closer too, Like kirishima or denki. The fact Bakugou barely spoke with you durning your time in classes made it feel even weirder. How could you be so dumb to forget your one rule of being a simp. No liking old posts or tweets. Just saving the photo depending on what it is. That rule just got tossed out the window as you pushed your face tighter into the pillow. No way was he gotta think your cute or whatever after this.

The sound of your phone going off got your attention and you reached for it slightly hoping it was Mina with a way to get you out of this. However it was the dreaded online boyfriend messaging you again. “Don’t play dumber than you are dumbass. The fuck is with you liking my old tweets” You really didn’t have the best response so you came up with the best you could. “Mina had my phone. Sorry she was being weird.”

That was so dumb. You both knew good and well that no one was allowed to be around each other since this whole virus came out. Could this day get any worse? Yes. Yes it could shut up.

“Try again.” Was all he replied with but you could hear the smug in his voice. Like no way was he gonna not call you out for this. The only times he did speak to you was when he was being an ass and making fun of you. Or when he grabbed your hips and moved you out of his way. You always loved that because his hands trapped your figure so perfectly but decided it was better to keep that to yourself. You were fully ready to admit defeat. There were no more lies you could come up with on the spot. “alright look, I’m sorry if it’s weird. Honest mistake.” This was your last shot to keep your dignity after such a embarrassing day.

It actually took him a while to reply. You figured he was too busy to entertain your contuinus lies until you got a notification from Instagram saying Ground_Zer0 liked your post. You opened the app to see he liked the picture where your caption was you basically admitted you scrolled through his old tweets because he was your online boyfriend. Before your brain could kick you for posting that bold statement in the first place you got two more messages from him. He had screenshotted the picture and caption. “So gonna keep lying like I don’t follow your accounts” Yep. Mina was so right. You were busted. Nothing much was left to be said. You were caught simping on one of your classmates who was aiming to be the number one hero. Just great.

“You gonna reply or what dumbass” Here goes everything. No reason to keep your lies, nothing much to lose.

“Alright so yeah I’ve liked you for a while now, I don’t know what about you makes me like you so much but I always found you really cool. Your so passionate about wanting to do good it’s almost silly how mean you are to everyone. Your not all that ugly either so that helps or whatever.” You confidence found half way through texting him. Not like he could make fun of you to all your friends and school. He doesn’t seem like the guy. Right?

“Oh.” Oh. That’s all he has to say. What the shit. What type of reply is that! Here you are pouring your heart out and that’s all he says back! This was kinda worse than him laughing! You barely got a reaction at all! “So how long have you liked Me” you took a second to think of the least creepy answer, “I mean since the beginning of our second year, why?”

It wasn’t a whole lie. Like since you had liked him the beginning of last year too. Your heart was beating out of your chest. Your emotions were clearly a wreck. From anger to slight confusion and embarrassment. What if he used this against you for real? Like you could never live down how much you really thought about him and wanted to be around him. It was pretty clear since you layed eyes on him you really cared about him.

“Well, I’ve liked you longer so I guess it’s my job to ask your dumbass out”

“Wanna be my girlfriend you weird stalker?”

You legit couldn’t believe it. You rubbed at your eyes for a good five minutes. Was he being serious? Was it a joke? You couldn’t think straight your head was so fuzzy “OI DONT LEAVE ME ON READ DUMBASS!” “If this is a way to make fun of me it isn’t very funny Bakugou.”

It seriously wasn’t funny. You knew for a while he felt nothing back for you, he never liked any of your posts or made much of an effort to even talk to you when you guys did attend school. He was clearly better friends with Mina since she even got messages from him, even if they were insults you would’ve taken what you could get. No way were you setting yourself up any more to get laughed at.

At that moment you got a FaceTime call from a number you didn’t have saved. You had no clue who it was. Against your better judgement you answered figuring that telemarketers don’t make FaceTime calls. What you got was a grumpy looking Bakugou staring at his screen. You could feel his eyes staring through you. You wanted to throw your phone so far it wasn’t even a joke. “Bout time dumbass.” He was layed out on his bed with a black wife beater hanging loosely on his body. You could tell he hasn’t moved from the bed in a while since the sheets and blankets were slightly messed up. “Now tell me. You see anyone else in my fucking room?” You shook your head in a confused manner, what was that question for? “Okay then. So it’s clear this isn’t a fucking joke. I like your dumb ass. Now will you please be my real girlfriend?” You stared at his face for any sort of sign it was still a joke.

But all you got was Bakugou blushing. Wait blushing? Seriously. That’s screenshot worthy. “I..well..w-wait we can’t even see each other?” You heard him grunt as a smirk appeared on his lips “if that’s your way of saying yes ain’t no stupid virus keeping me from kissing you like I’ve wanted to forever now.” “N-no way! You’ll get in trouble! Or sick!” Your face filled with heat as his words flowed so confidently. Like he knew all this time this is everything he’s ever wanted to say to you. “Did you not hear me? No virus is keeping me from you or getting me sick. Just let me say your mine stupid! I won’t fucking ask again.” “Y-yeah! O-okay I’ll be your girlfriend!” Another smirk tugged at his lips. “Damn straight. Alright get ready I’ll be there soon.” After that he hung up.

“Wait what?! Don’t come! Hello? Ah shit.” You still couldn’t really believe that all this really happened. You just got a boyfriend. After accidentally liking his post. From a year ago. Wow. What luck! You opened Instagram to congratulate yourself by posting the screenshot you had snagged but saw that a certain someone had posted a screenshot of you looking all confused durning a FaceTime call.

The ass screenshotted you looking confused after he asked you if anyone else was in his room. You looked at the caption and it absolutely made you turn red

“Thanks for giving me her number pinky.”

P1nky commented “anytime! Get you some!”

You hate your friends. You do love them. But you seriously can’t stand them.

Thank you all for reading so much! Also thank you for the 100 followers! I appciate it a lot and it gives me more reason to keep writing!

#my hero academia #mha #boko no hero academia #bnha bakugou #bakugou #bakugou katuski x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #coronavirus #covidquarantine #covidー19 #x reader #mina ashido

180 notes · View notes

vanchlo · 4 years

Text

Green Eyes

*Thanks so much for reading! c: There are now several parts you can read here: 2 3 4

I’m so happy to share that I won a fiction writing award for this short story through my college’s art journal! c:

Blurb Synopsis: You had been subbing for Mr. Styles for the last couple of months, but you’ve yet to meet him. The notes you leave for each other have sparked a friendship, leading you to want more, and you wonder if he does too.

Genre: Teacher Harry, lots of fluff, friendship, and maybe even some romance? ;)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 5.5k words

Pairing: Harry x Reader

Music Inspo: Green Eyes by Coldplay (click to listen)

His shelves were full of F. Scott Fitzgerald, Rumi, and Charles Bukowski. His desk was covered in scribbled Post-It notes, Bit-O-Honey wrappers, and empty mugs of tea.

This is what you noticed the first few times you subbed in his classroom.

These were the only details you knew about the man whose face you’ve never seen. As you gradually began to substitute for his high school English classes more and more, you learned about him more. This was due to his students, and his personal belongings.

What he didn’t and didn’t like: all the way from no fringes on a notebook paper, no red pen ever because that was his grading color, no using the word ‘can’t’ in his class, and students can eat all the snacks they want as long as the trash goes in the bin where it belongs.

The CDs in a stack on the shelf told you which ones he actually listened to because they were the ones that were on top and without dust.

You learned that the pristine book on his desk was never the one he was reading. No, it was the weathered and used copy beside his mug with dog-eared pages and penciled notes.

His drawers told you another story with their contents: boxes of teas ranging from peach to vanilla macaron, journals filled to the brim with words, adult coloring books with tv show themes, and books on Van Gogh and Monet hinting at his artsy background. His students slowly warmed up to you, and through them, so did he.

At this point, you’d only been subbing for Mr. Styles the last five months, racking up around two and a half weeks worth of subbed days. He always left precise and concise lesson plans for you. The books were where he said they’d be. The webpages he mentioned were bookmarked on his desktop. The teacher copy of the textbook and current group book were on his desk. At the beginning, his desk looked like a professional organizer had gotten their hands on it. Slowly, as you came to sub more for him, it grew messier, albeit you kept it tidy during your appearances. As the first few months passed and you became one of the few subs in his room, you started to find notes. They weren’t just any notes. They were more than the straight forward sub notes for the day’s agenda. No, they weren’t that simple. You can still remember the first one you found on a Post-It note - it went like this:

Y/N, peanut butter on your waffles or syrup?

It took you by surprise, but nonetheless, you answered his call. Each time, you’d find a contrasting pen color and scrawl your answer underneath his. Then leaving it somewhere he would find it the next day. They were one-liners at the beginning, and always interesting. Walking to his classroom from your car on those mornings, you’d fill with excitement at the anticipation of finding the next one. Sometimes it took you the entire day to find where he had hidden them.

In the closet.

In a nook in a drawer.

Under the chair.

On the backside of one of his books.

Hidden in plain sight amongst his current choice of notes and lists.

They never failed to spark a smile on your lips, whether it was quirky, confused, astounded or humored.

Guitar or piano?

FRIENDS or The Simpsons?

Vanilla or Chocolate?

Would you rather become a superhero or a wizard?

The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?

Slowly, the questions became more personal, and more than just ‘this or that.’ His questions became longer, and so did your answers.

What was the moment that made you decide to become a teacher?

Is Donny a good student for you, or is he lying to me about that?

What color are your eyes?

What book/film do you believe had the largest impact on you while growing up?

What is the one meal you always order at a restaurant?

Do you have a family?

Should I splurge and buy a new desk chair?

What book should I buy for my classroom you think I need to have? Why?

Why don’t you have a classroom of your own?

When is your birthday?

Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?

They were never a chore for you, or tedious. No, they were fun and you felt as if you saw a little sliver of who he really was with each note. After a while, you started to write and leave your own notes for him to answer. At first, many of them were similar to ones he had left you, because you wanted to hear his responses, too.

The newest one stares back at you, his half-cursive registering in your eyes.

What’s your favorite part about subbing in my classroom? Don’t say the students, that’s what everybody says.

Giggling to yourself, you reach over to his Pink Floyd mug to pull out a green pen. You take a moment to think of your answer. This time you found the note peeking out from behind the smart whiteboard. The sounds of the end of a school day tickle at your ears as you scribble down your answer. Pressing it to an open square of wood on his desk, you turn back to the royal blue pad of Post-Its. Peeling one off, the green pen hovers over the paper, but you can’t get yourself to write the question you’ve been wanting to know all along.

He didn’t have a Facebook, or an Instagram.

The high school doesn’t have a wall of staff pictures like others you’ve subbed at do.

It’s late winter, so yearbooks are still a ways off.

For all you know, you could have seen him here before in the halls when you subbed in another classroom.

Exhaling, you press the pen to the paper before you can convince yourself to stop. Unlike the many times before when your fears got the best of you.

What do you look like?

With a proud but nervous smile you stick it to the desk, layering the first note on top. It sticks to your lips as you bend down to reach your hand into your bag. The glossy bag greets your hand, and you pull it out to set down beside the note.

A small bag of Bit-O-Honeys.

Looking up, your eyes scan the empty classroom. Few footsteps, voices, and lockers slamming trickle in from the halls. You suddenly realize that this is the same view he sees, these are the same sounds he hears, and the same place he sits in every day. Well, when he’s not away on personal days, sick days, on holiday, and at workshops, hence your appearances. The thought knits something together inside of you, making you feel just that bit more closer to him. Something that’s been slowly happening over time since you first stepped foot in his classroom.

One of the first things that did this was the posters scattered across his walls. A poster from the 2013 remake of The Great Gatsby, The Beatles’ Abbey Road album cover, a cartoon of William Shakespeare, a unifying print of Keith Haring’s art, and several posters of quotes from famous books - To Kill A Mockingbird, the Kite Runner, Of Mice and Men, The Life of Pi, and even The Hunger Games. It delighted you watching him add some of them to the walls since your time here, and you’ve been itching to purchase him one as a gift. You’re unsure of what he would like though, and the fear of failure has held you back from doing so.

A bleep! catches your attention. Casting your eyes to the dormant desktop screen, you wiggle the mouse. A red circle has appeared on the title of a tab opened to your professional email. Clicking over to it from a YouTube video he had you show the class, you find you have a new message. At the sight of who sent it, your heart skips a beat: harry.styles@isd . . . . . . .

Hi. I reckon you’re still sitting at my desk this moment, now that’s a funny thought. I wanted to ask you a question while I remembered. I have to go out of town on Friday for a funeral. Believe me, I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to, but these things are a must. I apologize for it being short notice, but I thought I’d ask you if you would like to take it before I posted it to the sub database. Please let me know either way by tonight, so it has a few days to sit on the website to be claimed. Also, I wanted to say thanks for everything you do. My students really love you, and it makes me wonder what I’m missing. Enjoy your night!

Sincerely,

Harry Styles

“Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you. - WW”

A smile warms your cheeks as you finish reading his words, and the familiar poem that ends every email of his. You quickly type up a response to him, agreeing to take the job on Friday, thanking him for thinking of you. A new email appears in your inbox shortly after from another colleague, which occupies you before you lose yourself in your thoughts again.

Perhaps your favorite addition in his classroom is the Fender acoustic sitting on a stand in the corner. Of course, you’ve yet to see it move in the last five months. The stories his students have told you in a way have given it legs of its own in your mind. Much like the little notes you’ve been leaving for each other, something you dread ever ending.

It was a Wednesday. You’re convinced that Mrs. Watson’s Pre-Calc class is surely the bane of your existence. You keep cursing yourself for taking sub assignments for math classes. Seeing that you’re terrible at the subject, you vowed you’d never take one of her assignments again, but you have to pay the bills somehow. You found your respite in the cozy staff lounge. Couches lined two of the walls, along with an arrangement of tables on the other side of the room.

As you walk in, you see that one of the ancient history teachers has nodded off again on the plaid couch. Otherwise, the room is empty, and all to yourself. If that didn’t make you happy before, the assortment of food on the counter definitely does.

Voices float in through the open door as the plastic lid to the cupcakes opens with a pop!

“Ah, looks like ya got tha last chocolate one. I was savin’ that one fer me,” a voice comments from behind you. Turning, you find a tall man in his late 20’s walking towards you.

“Oh, I’m sorry, you can have it,” you volunteer, holding the blue-iced cupcake out for his taking.

His blush lips curl up with an amused smile. Dimples fall neatly into his cheeks covered with thick stubble. Its deep brown color matches that of the short quiffed curls atop his head. Misty green eyes stare back at you in the middle of his round, but sharp face. “‘m only joking. Go ahead and have it. I already had one earlier. They’re quite good actually, but I dunno ‘bout tha vanilla. Never really cared fer tha flavoir when it comes t’ cake and ice cream,” he comments, passing you to stop at the nearby sink.

“Yeah, I like to forget vanilla exists half of the time,” you remark, peeling away the paper liner of the cupcake.

Leaning against the counter, you watch as his ringed hand grabs a red coffee mug from the cabinet. “So do I. ‘s ratha boring, if I do say so meself.”

Nodding to yourself, a silence follows your words. The sweetness of the cupcake is shocking when you take a bite. It makes you wonder how you devoured these sugar bombs as a child. A few beeps and a hum from the microwave echo throughout the room as you check your phone.

“Y’know, I haven’t seen ya here at tha school befo’. Are ya new dis year or a sub?” he asks, bringing your eyes back to his lean figure. He pulls a yellow square packet from his tight-fitting black slats, a blush button-down tucked into its waist.

“I started subbing here this year,” you answer before taking another bite of the cupcake. Half of it consists of the sickeningly sweet frosting that makes your teeth ache.

“Mmmm I see. How d’ya like it so far? Are ya a new teacher, ‘s that why yer subbin’?”

“Yeah, I went back to school kinda late in the game after doing something else. I figure I’d sub for a little bit for some experience, because what’s another year of waiting by this time?” you comment, observing how he fiddles with his black tie while searching in the refrigerator.

“Well, congratulations. ‘s a big step t’ go back t’ school fer sumthin’ ya love. ‘s a good profession, I reckon. I’ve been teaching fer 7 years, and here at dis school fer 5. Sumtimes schools even hire subs they’ve had when a position opens, so keep yer eyes open,” he tells you, turning to you with a smile, a yogurt in his hand.

“Thank you,” you say sincerely, returning the smile. “I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

“Sure thing. I know it helped loads when I was a newbie. ‘ll see ya around, I gotta get back t’ class befo’ me students do first. Have a good one!”

Walking towards you with the steaming cup of tea in his hands, he pats your arm with his other hand on the way out. Nodding at your ‘thank you’, a small ‘you’re welcome’ falls from his lips before the door closes behind him. Eating the last bite you can muster of the cupcake, you toss its remains in the bin. A thought worms its way into your mind as you sit down at the table.

Wow, I wonder who that guy was? And is he married, because shit, he was handsome.

The smell of orange essential oil greets you when you stepped foot into his classroom the next time. The state of his desk made you frown, and made you want to scratch the itch to clean it. You resisted it and didn’t, and that thought was taken away when his students began to find their desks.

Another day of 7 classes came and went. 2 classes of Introduction to Creative Writing. 3 classes of American Literature. 2 classes of World Literature. Amusing YouTube videos broke up the monotony of your day, and those of his students. The lesson notes he left for you had become more concise as the months have passed, and as you learned from each other. The same couldn’t be said for the dish of Bit-O-Honeys on his desk that he’s kept stocked for your appearances. You’re just glad he’s put the bag you left for him to good use. All throughout your day you had been looking for his newest note, but this time it wasn’t in any of his usual spots. After correcting some quizzes from today, you finally found it in the bottom left-hand drawer of his mahogany desk. Stuck to a tall can of Coke, your favorite drink of choice.

I’m sorry it’s warm, although I’m not sure how you like to drink it. I just find warm soda to be rather nasty. The answer to your question is I have green eyes, brown hair, I’m rather tall, and I like to dress up. Is that good enough for you? Now, what do you look like, love?

Your insides melt at the sight of his answer, but then you groan at the vagueness of it. Off the top of your head, you know there are at least 10 male teachers here at this school with brown hair, maybe more. Maybe even with green eyes, too, and you know that because you’ve seen them in the staff lounge or in the halls. The thought only grows worse when you lose count of how many teachers there are here at this school. Let’s just say, there’s a lot. Yeah, that sure helps a whole lot. Annoyed, you pluck a pen from the green mug and answer his question with as little detail as possible. Two can play at this game, you think to yourself as you sigh.

If you could have a jam session with any musician, dead or alive, who would it be?

Sticking the new note where its corner peeks out from under his tabletop calendar, your eyes return to the Coke. It’s undeniable, you feel a little less perturbed at him just at the sight of it. Only a little bit, that is. Sure, you’ve subbed for a countless number of teachers at this school, and more so in this school district. A few of them are even friends or relatives of yours, but you’d never connected with one before like you have with Harry. You just wish more than anything you could find out what he looks like and what he’s really like. Continuing to take his sub jobs doesn’t really help with that. It only drives you crazier wanting to know the other side of this fascinating human being.

There he was, snoring on the couch again, tv remote in hand. The weather channel is playing, surprising you very little. Snickering, you yank open the door to the black refrigerator. After retrieving your striped black and blue lunchbox, you place the container of leftovers in the microwave. A laugh is heard over your shoulder, and when you turn, you find Green Eyes from the other day.

Tittering as the door closes behind him, he says, “No fail, John ‘s always passed out on dat couch, I swear.”

“I know, it’s every time I’m here. Maybe he should just retire already so he can take his naps at home. Then maybe we could watch something on the tv for once,” you comment, shaking your head. Unpacking your lunch box, you take out a clementine, vanilla yogurt, and silverware.

“Nah, he loves it too much. I don’t see him leavin’ anytime soon,” he remarks, walking past you to search the shelves of the fridge. “What’re we having’ t’day? Couldn’t find any cupcakes dis time?”

“No, those ones were too sweet anyways. They gave me a stomachache,” you complain with a grimace. The beeeeep! of the microwave interrupts your thoughts.

“Mmmm, I dunno, I thought they were pretty good.” Rubbing his tummy, he pulls a breathy laugh from your lips.

Your steaming container of leftovers almost burns your hands, and you dread trying to eat it within the next 10 minutes. Setting up for a lesson in Mr. Harrison’s classroom was a pain, making you wonder why you take any sub jobs besides Harry’s anymore.

“No free food fer us t’day,” he pouts beside you, closing the fridge door before venturing to the vending machine in the corner. Your eyes drift to his outfit choice today - a white button-down topped with a buttoned vest the shade of ochre, all tucked into brown slacks.

“That’s why you pack a lunch. I thought you’d know the drill by now, since you said you’ve been teaching for a while.”

“I do, but sumtimes I forget. Yer already ahead o’ me with dat part, love,” he who doesn’t have a name answers with a short laugh. Sliding a leather wallet from his pocket, you see him type in a number before you sit down at the table. “Who are ya subbin’ fer t’day then?”

“I’m on the west side in the Science wing for Harrison. Bloody Bio.”

“Ugh, I neva cared fer science. Where were ya a few weeks ago when I last saw ya?” he questions, sliding out a chair across from you. An assortment of vending machine food hits the table with a slap - peanut M&M’s, a nutrigrain bar, and a bag of Sun Chips.

“Upstairs in Watson’s Maths class. Remind me to never sub for her again, because I can’t understand Pre-Calc for the life of me. I never could in high school so I don’t know why I thought I could know,” you chuckle. A warmth fills your cheeks at the sight of his lips spreading into an amused smile.

“Yeah, I neva cared fer Maths meself eitha. Numbas neva made a bit o’ sense t’ me, words were always betta,” he explains. You nod along with his words, your mouth occupied with a bite of spaghetti and meatballs. “What subject would ya like t’ teach once tha year’s ova an’ ya go searchin’ fer a job o’ yer own?”

“Um, probably something in English since that’s my focus area. Dabbling in History has been fun, though. I enjoy learning about it myself, and I always have a better time subbing in either of those classes,” you reveal.

“I see,” he replies, his head going up and down. The crinkling of the granola bar wrapper fills the silence between you before he takes a bite. Crumbs pepper his chin, but he wipes them away from his thin beard. “How often d’ya sub here then?”

“I’d say probably 3 days a week typically, but some weeks are 4. Otherwise, I sometimes sub for a friend or somebody I know over at the middle school.”

“Ah, so yer license is sumthin’ like 8 - 12, ‘s it?” he inquires, picking up the black mug you hadn’t noticed he had.

“Yeah, I thought that would give me a good range for those grades. With my experience now, I think I’d like to stay at the high school level though,” you continue, twirling you fork around in the noodles covered in tomato sauce. Crossing your legs, the satiny fabric of your black dress pants moves with you.

“We could always use anotha good teacher here. Ya neva know what’ll happen,” he smiles, standing to his feet with his snacks held in his large hand. Returning his smile, he adds his mug to that hand, patting your back once on his way out. “See ya next time, love. Keep yer head up, it’ll get betta.”

“Thanks,” you automatically respond with. When you go to say his name, you’re lost for words, because you suddenly remember you’ve never gotten it. Now, he’s already too far away to ask for it.

Shrugging your shoulders, you stab a meatball with your fork, wondering when the next time will be that you’ll see him again. Because, he sure is nice to look at, and he’s nicer to you than anybody else here.

Stevie Nicks or John Lennon, it’s a tough call. Okay, I’m doing two questions from now on, because you ask such good ones :( Who would you jam with then? Question #2: What was the last concert you went to?

This time, you found the Post-It before the school day even started. It was on the seat of his chair, making you think he wanted you to find it right away. You’re thinking maybe he remembered one of the last times you complained about how hard he had made it. Sometimes you worry about how excited you get to look for these each time you sub in his classroom, but then you remember it’s only once every few weeks.

That can’t hurt, can it?

That day the hallways were louder than they usually were after school. You attributed that to the boys’ semifinals basketball game set to be played tonight in the gymnasium. The school’s home team against a nearby rival school. Students couldn’t stop talking about it all day, and many of them shared they’d be sticking around after school to attend. Checking your watch, you note that you should have enough time to stop at home to eat dinner before coming back for it. Even though you hadn’t even known about it before today.

The Sufjan Stevens song floating from his desktop fills the room as you get out books for tomorrow. Your hands are full with copies of The Kite Runner, making you feel grateful again to Harry- Mr. Styles for picking a decent classic for the class to read. Although you’d only read it a few years ago yourself, and it broke your heart, you’re excited to sub next time to help his World Lit class with it.

“Oh hey, be careful there, yer gonna slip and fall with all o’ those,” somebody says from behind you, distracting you from your mission of bringing the pile of books from the closet to a desk.

Don’t I know that voice? Turning your eyes to the doorway, you find Green Eyes walk in with a coat slung over his arm. Wait a second.

“I-I’m fine,” you stutter, but your actions that follow negate your words. Your eyes run over his familiar features, and slowly the puzzle pieces start to click in your head. Harry? A thought bomb explodes in your head, and the books tumble from your arms. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

“Yer okay,” he murmurs, stopping in front of you. Kneeling down, you both begin to pick up the books, stacking them on top of each other. “Thanks for gettin’ me set up fer t’morrow though. I appreciate it.”

“Mmmhmm,” is all you can say, because any words that want to come out can’t get past the lump in your throat. One that’s there because of the realization you just had.

Green Eyes and Harry are the same person.

How did I not figure this out sooner?

“So, ya must be Y/N, huh?” he giggles, his head bent down as he helps you pick up the books.

“Y-Yeah, surprise,” you admit, and your laugh soon joins his. Before you know it, the both of you can’t stop laughing.

“Here,” you hear him say. Looking up, you find him standing in front of you holding his hand out for you to take. A cozy looking maroon sweater covers his upper half, and blue jeans don the rest. “Fancy meetin’ you here,” he jokes in between laughs.

“You’re right about that,” you answer, taking his hand. He helps you to your feet where you smooth down the violet skirt of your dress. “I can’t believe I didn’t connect the dots.”

“Yer not tha only one, love,” Harry comments, bending over to grab a stack of books. He begins to set one on each desk as he walks down the aisles of them. “But I s’pose there wasn’t any way t’ know.”

“Yeah, I couldn’t find you on Facebook,” you confess, cursing yourself for the slip up a few seconds later. Lifting your head from the book you just set on a desk, you find his amused eyes on you across the room.

“Ah, so ya were stalkin’ me, were ya?” he smirks, his delightful laugh following his words.

“No, I wasn’t! You’re just one of the only colleagues I’ve subbed for who I’ve never met, or like don’t know what they look like.”

Your small stack soon disappears and when you return to the pile at the back of the room, he does too.

“So, what d’ya think? Are ya disappointed then?”

“No,” you say automatically, lifting your eyes to his green ones that land on you. His cheeks lined with a thick, neat beard crease with dimples as he smiles at you.

“Neither am I . . . . Ms. Vance Joy fan,” he returns, holding your gaze. The sincerity in his words gets under your skin, going straight to your heart. The sarcastic joke inside of them makes you giggle.

Clearing your throat, you look away with what you’re sure are blushing cheeks. Most likely, an entire blushing face. “What are you doing here, anyways, if you were gone for the day?”

“I can’t miss me boys’ big game, a few o’ me students are on tha team. I thought I’d catch up on sum emails and grading befo’hand, but didn’t know ya’d still be here.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just leaving, anyways,” you mutter, your movements stilling.

“I didn’t mean it dat way, love. ‘m glad we finally met, it was about time, anyways,” Harry insists, and you nod before continuing to place a book at each desk. “Hey wait, you said you were short and all plain in yer note. No, yer not, ya fibber.”

“Oh like your description was any more accurate,” you scoff lightheartedly, setting down a book before grabbing another from your dwindling stack.

His rich laugh meets your ears, and you can’t resist looking over to him. “Ya didn’t give yerself enough credit, ya know,” he almost coos, and you swear your heart melted into a puddle right then and there. That’s if it hadn’t done so already when you realized he’s Green Eyes. Swoon.

It’s hard to hold back the excitement curling at the edge of your lips. Soon, you run out of books again and when you take a peek at him, so has he.

“Were ya gonna go?” he questions, and you deal him one when you look at him confused. “T’ tha game, I mean.”

Your body feels like jello, and that any move you make would be sloppy. Embarrassing. That’s the last thing you want to look like in front of him. With his dazzling smile, adorably dimpled cheeks, and the cozy vibes he’s giving off. Not to mention, the clean citrus scent wafting off of him. A smell you certainly would be okay with smelling for hours on end. If only.

“Well bloody Rob around tha corner bailed on me, so I have an extra ticket now. Would ya like t’ join me? I was thinkin’ o’ grabbin’ a sub from ‘round tha corner befo’. Concession food ‘s always too expensive, and never worth tha lines at halftime,” Harry suggests, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans. One corner of his mouth climbs up his cheek, making you feel like maybe you’re not alone in these jumbled feelings. Or in the fun you’ve had carrying on this blind relationship with him.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun. Maybe we could get to know each other a little better than the few words Post-It notes can hold.”

Slowly, the other corner of his lips curls upwards, making the dimple fall into his cheek once again. Nodding, his lips split into a full-fledged smile, singing with a chuckle. “I’d really like that,” he reveals before venturing to the door and shutting off the light. Extending an arm, he waves a hand towards himself.

“Hold on, let me get my things.”

“No rush. ’s not like ‘ve waited seven months fer dis or anythin’,” he quips. By now, you’re certain your face resembles a tomato. You hope that in the muted light, perhaps he won’t notice.

Hurriedly, you slip on your light coat and drape your bag over your shoulder. Your eyes catch something as you’re tucking your phone in your pocket. Grabbing one last thing, you turn to find him watching you from the lit doorway.

“What?” he wonders aloud, still with that smile etched onto his face. One you’re fairly sure you could get used to seeing.

“Here,” you tell him, placing the Post-It note in his palm. His fingers dotted with dark hairs brush against you, just for a second longer than need be.

“Ah, can’t forget dis now. Important stuff here.”

“Indeed,” you note, stifling a laugh as the sarcasm floats in the air.

You observe his eyes flit across the paper holding your cursive as your steps echo down the empty hallway.

“Hmmm, funny. It says ‘would you like to meet up sometime’ on here,” Harry reads, casting his twinkling eyes to you. Green eyes. “I was jus’ ‘bout t’ ask ya tha same thing on me next note. But I had sumthin’ that woulda took tha cake fer sure.”

“What’s that?” you remark, wondering how that could be. Those thoughts fly out the window when you feel his arm come around your shoulder. A squeal sounds inside of your head, but hey, at least that’s far less embarrassing than doing it out loud.

“I was gonna tell ya dat Tracy across tha hall from me ‘s leavin’ afta dis year, and I may have recommended a certain sumbody t’ tha principal t’ replace her,” Harry hums, a knowing glint dancing in his eyes as they hover over you. “What d’ya say t’ bein’ colleagues instead o’ bein’ me sub?”

“I think I could get used to that,” you answer, letting your smile take over your entire face.

“So could I, love. So could I.”

455 notes · View notes